#and i mean i know her thing is like shes always tryna look sexy

[strgrlxox]

dark matter.

ꗃ this is possibly the worst the ive ever written but ik yall see how sexy she looks in that picture im tryna go CRAZYYY ❞¸

+ ¸ ❞ toxic ellie warning yalllll ꗃ

the last time was always the “last time”.

except it never was. you weren’t exactly sure why you kept coming back to her. ellie was like a drug, one you’ve sworn to quit several times but you’re addicted. 

she is intoxicating. 

although the problem is normally different, the routine remains the same. ellie would fuck up and push blame, you would shout and then leave, she would laugh and say something like you’ll be back, you’d curse and deny it saying something like no i mean it this time, then a week later you’d be back.

you could never truly stay away from her. she reminds you of this with the way she kissed you, longing and angry and full of abandon.

“thought you said i’d never see you again, huh?” she says into your mouth, it wasn’t really a kiss…more of her trying to swallow the air that’s in your lungs. 

you kiss her harder, hoping to shut up her endless teasing. ellie pulls back from you, a smirk that you wanna taste tattooed to her lips. 

you can’t help but open your lips so that she could kiss you however she wanted. she knew exactly how you needed her and she was more than eager to provide.

“why do you keep trying to leave me?” she lets her kisses move from your mouth down to your neck. you whimper into her, your body tingling in every place she touches. you can’t help the guilt that sweeps inside you at the pain in her voice, unable to stop yourself from trying to kiss her again…it was your way of showing her your regret.

she pulled back again, the corners of lips lifting at the way your mouth desperately chases hers. driving you past your point of sanity was what she did best after all.

she walks forward, forcing you to move backwards until your body hits a desk. she grabs hold of your hips, encouraging you to jump slightly. you obey her silent command, until you’re sat on the flat surface.

“why can’t you see that you’re always gonna be mine?” she pouts, you barely notice when she drops down to her knees. the look in her eyes was pure, it could fucking kill you how pretty she looks right now.

it made you think about her question, why do you keep leaving even though you know you’ll come back every time?

when she notices your attention shifting she sucks at the skin on your thighs, below where your skirt ends. greedily, wanting to be the center of your fixation. “focus on me, okay?”

you nod, hands tangling in her hair. ellie’s hands tail along your thighs, squeezing them occasionally. 

“i’m forgiving you again this time…” you begin as her lips trail further up, her hands shifting underneath your skirt to pull it above your hips.  “but this is the last time, if you fuck up again i swear i’m gone.”

it’s a lie. you both know it. 

although you would like to believe it was true. ellie kisses your knee––looking up at you, she trails a finger over the wet spot on your underwear.  she smiles against your skin. “let me show my gratitude.”

you’re panting by the time she moves your underwear aside, licking her lips at the sight of you. she kisses up your thigh, her lips leaving a trail of your anticipation behind.

“hurry up, ellie.” you whine and she scoffs. how silly of you to think you had any control here.

“careful.” she chastises. “before i stop being so nice.” it’s more of a warning than it is a threat but with ellie, the two things are synonymous. you can’t help but watch as she disappears in between your thighs, drinking you in like she’s been starved her whole life.

“are you gonna be the good girl i know you are?” even though she knows you’re too out of breath to answer––she cruelly asks, the vibrations making you shudder. you let out one long moan, the only answer that can make its way from your throat.

she huffs into you, pulling back which makes you whine. “when i ask you a question, i expect an answer, pretty girl. you know that.” she’s being harsh but she’s almost pouting as she speaks. and although her words are muffled by the skin of your thigh the room is so quiet that it sounds like it echos. 

“yeah, i’ll be good.” your hands reach in her hair, trying to pull her closer but she just avoids your touch.

“i don’t know if i believe you…”

you sob, desperate to feel her lips on you again. ellie could be so mean. “i’ll be so good, ellie––i promise.”

“i need to feel you, please ellie.” the thought of her leaving you like this––all worked up with an ache only she could rectify––makes tears brim in your eyes.

“that’s right, baby.” she smiles and it gives you whiplash how sweet she looks when she’s being so goddamn mean to you. “you need me. you just need to be reminded of that sometimes…”

you whimper, nodding your head meekly. she places two more kisses on your right leg, hands pulling your legs further apart. you watch as her face softens behind your blurry eyes, she can’t help but melt at the look on your face. “okay, it’s okay. you’re so good for me, look so pretty when you cry.”

she leans down to flatten her tongue against your center, making you sigh in satisfaction. ellie licks at you slow and sloppy, taking her time to savor you until your legs close around her head in the wake of your rapture. she rides it out, only pulling away when you push at her head from sensitivity.

she stands up and licks her lips, getting the last drops of your taste. her hands immediately tangle in your hair, pulling your mouth onto her own. she only breaks away from the kiss when the need for oxygen consumes her. “god, you look so good when you cum…so beautiful and all mine, right?”

you hesitate for only a moment, but it’s enough to make her grab your jaw and make you look at her. her gaze narrows as she awaits your response.

“m’all yours, ellie. always.”

[moranasgrave]

plug!connie gets jealous at a party and teaches you a lesson.

ok this is just a little plug connie drabble because i’ve been wanting to write about him for a while. i literally left my other notes at home with all my other characters sooo after this i’ll release a snippet of a chapter in my Eren story that will be “premiering” august 18th. kinda late i know but it’ll be worth it i want to have 10+ chapters written so i can release 2-3 at a time because i know how it feels to wait for something your reading especially on wattpad LMAO.

CONTENT! WARNING! 18+ MINORS DNI! NSFW CONTENT!

Fem black reader ofc, Choking,raw sex, angry sex, weed, alcohol, mild violence,fluff, bad language,and idk this won’t be proofread lmao.

Connie knew he fucked up. Tonight was Eren big summer bash party at his parents mansion. It was always the craziest party of the year, and the best spot for dealers to find knew customers for the year.

You how ever were livid with connie. You seen a girl texting his instagram on his phone saying “yea tmr at 3 is coo” while you guys were cuddling on the couch. You didn’t think he would cheat on you but something about it made you feel weird. Girls always hit him up begging to match with him. It made you feel, territorial.

Connie was gorgeous, those piercing hazel eyes and that flashy smile. Especially when he had his diamond bottom grillz in, fresh hair cut and that pretty bone structure. He also had that charm, he knew just the right thing to say to make you melt in his arms.

Right now though, you didn’t care how he looked. You were pissed off because he acts so nonchalant about girls messaging him like it’s no big deal. What if he actually takes the offer one day.

Whatever you didn’t care as you angrily got dress into your hot pink tube top dress. Cutely ruffled at the bottom looking like a miniskirt attached to a dress. Your black stocking that you were angrily taking a razor to. A black my chemical romance zip up hoodie left open. Finally those hot pink leg warmers with your cute little black mary jane flats.

Your hair in two low pig tail puffs with a side part, your favorite hair style. The obnoxiously huge black juciy couture bag filled with singles and a variety of perfume and makeup.

Connie wearing black cargo shorts with the studded black and silver belt you got him for his birthday. “stop trying to turn me emo”, he said laughing at the gift. “i’m notttt but you would look sooo hot if you were though”, you say with a suggestive smile.

He pairs those with a plain black zip up and some black converse. Silver rings bearing his veiny calloused fingers, and that NY cap tilted to the side like he always does. It made you even more mad that he chose to look sexy right now.

You guys get in the uber there because yall know yall will just end up sleeping over at erens like every year. The whole car ride you feel connie’s eyes burning the back of your head, because you turned away from him. He puts a hand on your thigh and lets out a big sigh. He knows tonight is going to be ridiculous.

As soon as you guys arrive at the huge front doors connie spins you around holding you by your waist. “Can you drop the fucking attitude already, i’m not tryna have you pissed at me all night over dumb shit.” You look at him with an amused expression on your face. “kiss my ass connie, you do you i’ll do me”, you say coldly. Before he can even respond your already strutting inside the doors.

‘This girl is about to get handled in a second’ connie thinks to himself.

You find sasha and basically knock her over as you run and jump into her arms. She already has shots lined up for you so you start going ham. Throwing back shots like it was water. Connie meets up with eren and jean to find out whose buying so he can make his deals.

A couple hours into the party you’re already pretty drunk. You decided to go and dance your heart out on the huge dance floor in the living room. The entire night you’ve been mean mugging connie when he would make eye contact with you. To make him mad you were even twerking all over sasha and mikasa, sasha catching all of it smoothly of course and mikasa looking nervously at connie trying not to make as much contact.

As you danced all over the floor alone sipping on a margarita sasha made you, a guy approach’s you.

He starts dancing closely around you until he suddenly grabs your waist. You push his hands off quickly slurring a weak ‘i have a boyfriend’ as you try and ignore him and continue to dance.

Connie who was on the couch smoking a blunt notices this and gets up from his seat. “Fuck off before i kick your ass i’m in a bad mood”, he says glaring at the guy.

You’ve seen connie get mad before but never anything too extreme. He usually knew how to keep a level head in situations like this. But tonight, you acted a fool and he wasn’t gonna let that slide.

The guy steps in connie’s face and says “or what exactly? i’m just tryna have a little fun man.”

You stop dancing and finally notice the two men are getting a little too close for comfort. this can’t be good. You go to tell connie that your okay but then you see connie’s arm raise and punch the shit out of that guy. He gets on top of the guy and just starts wailing on him. Eren and jean quickly run over to grab him off.

Connie’s face is flushed red, his eyes are low and he’s sweating. He pushed as jean and eren off and looks at you with his glossed over eyes bearing into your soul.

You run over to him shoes in hand as you took them off like two hours ago. “Connie what the fuck dude you didn’t have to beat him that bad and you know it”, you say aggravated because now everyone’s attention is on you two. “Shut the fuck up and come on we’re fucking going to bed Y/n”, he grabs your hand forcefully towards the door.

You pull back defiantly, “You go, IM not ready to sleep yet THANKS”. You start to head back to the dance floor when you feel his big hand wrap around your throat from behind. He leans down to your ear tightening his grip some. “We’re going upstairs and fixing that fucking attitude of yours before i snap”, he grits through his teeth.

You nod your head reluctantly, secretly getting excited about it. You been waiting for him to finally take you upstairs, you just refused to ask him. Everyone watches as you guides you upstairs still holding the back of your neck. “Take a picture or something you fucking FREAKS”, connie yells behind his shoulder.

The second you step into the room connie shut the door and locks it. He walks over to you picking you up and tossing you on the bed. You let out a small yelp and before you can protest he flips you over on the edge of the bed.

He slides your panties clean off ripping up your dress to show your exposed bottom half. He leans over top of you getting close to your ear again. “You’re gonna learn to listen to me y/n, you know i only want your crazy ass”, he rasps under his breath. You can feel his bulge twitching against your ass.

He leans back and slides his pants down to his ankles along with his boxers. He guides his dick towards your entrance, moaning softly as he rubs against your clit. You’re already soaking wet, the sounds of him mushing against you are loud. He slides in causing both of you to let out a moan. He starts pumping in and out of you slowly, the drugs in your system heightening your sensitivity.

He picks up his pace and now the room is filled with loud slapping and moaning as he reaches deeper and deeper inside you. He grabs your hair forcing you to stand up against him. He takes his phone from the side of the bed and starts recording you guys from the front. Your makeup is already running, eyes squeezed shut trying to focus on your orgasm. He slides out and flips you again into missionary position.

He flips the camera backwards zooming in on your face. Hair sticking to your sweaty forehead, mascara running down your eyes and your plump glossy lips parted from all the panting your doing. “god you’re so fucking sexy”, he says in between moans. He ends the recording and starts to go even faster making you arch your back off the bed in pleasure.

You feel the knot unfold quickly in your stomach and your filled with complete bliss as you both cum together. He flops on top of you with all his weight, out of breath and in a daze. He lifts his head up and gives you sweet kisses from your neck to your cheek then to your lips. The kiss being sloppy and filled with passion as if he’d been waiting all day to do this.

He rolls on the side of you and grabs his phone. He guides you to lay on top of him nuzzled in between his neck and shoulder. He goes to the video and posts it to his story. His main story. With your face covered with the heart eyes emoji of course. He writes ‘don’t bother hittin my dm this is my only girl 😏’.

He puts his phone back down and pulls you closer to his chest. “I…I love you y/n and i’ll never cheat on you i promise baby, don’t ever think otherwise again”, he whispers into your ear. Your still kind of out of it but you manage to mutter “I love you too connie”, before your eyes flutter shut.

He turns the light off with his phone and wraps the blanket around the two of you.

‘I love her but she is a trip’ he thinks to himself before he drifts to sleep, ignoring all the dms he’s getting on instagram.

[missuswalker]

DUDE ALL OF UR WRITINGS ARE SO GOOD u literally make Stan sound like a loser AND HE IS!!!! AND I EAT IT UP ITS SO FUNNY AGAIAHJAHQIA THE JUMPSCARE TOO😭😭😭

Could I req hcs of Stan (the slimy. The STINK.) and Kyle (I feel like he always has a prominent forehead vein from all the rage he has in his body) separate with some mutual pining w a f!reader that’s suuuuuper flirty n zesty w her friends like saying some out of pocket goofy shit like barking n meowing or “I’m hard” or like “I need u carnally.” LOL but also gets easily flustered when flirted back with??? I will kiss the ground u walk upon btw (thank you sm I’m literally up at 3:37 giggling thinking of when u post a response to this)

i'm in love with you for this YOU GUYS THINK UP THE GOOD SHIT

stan and kyle with a flirty reader

✮ summary: stan and kyle crushing on a flirty reader (who gets flustered when flirted back with)

✮ warnings: sexual jokes LMAO

kyle broflovski

i can't imagine him getting all "omg i- i- i- i- 😱😱" over it

like thats not happening

his face will get red, yes

but he's not gonna get super flustered over it

he'll be like "🫥😧" and side eye the hell out of you

it's funny to him sometimes, but also, if he's already pissed off, it's just annoying

"damn, tryna take it to the temple? 😏" "y/n, shut the fuck up."

but that only encourages you to do it more

but it makes him think he's not special since you flirt with your friends, too

"bebe, you can be my baybay if you know what i mean 😏😏 just call me mommy 😁"

and then gets upset and hopes you come flirt with him

the first time he flirted back, it was like you shut down

"why ask for my number when you can just call me a good girl" "i bet you'd like that wouldn't you"

IT WOULD SIMPLY BE THAT, NOT EVEN THAT INTENSE

you'd almost start doing the butters foot kick thing like in the episode where he had to partner up with cartman

"what 😁 huh 🥰 say that again? 😊"

he'd think it was so funny

his rizz isn't bad either so it's even worse

would pull the "you don't have anything to say, huh"

he'd start calling you petnames to make it worse

"come sit over here, babe"

just shit like that

realizes he's the only one you get super flustered over, so he makes his move

after a couple more days of torturing you

his ego just expands

thinks he's the shit

pulls out the black tshirt

stan marsh

oh my god he literally is a loser

"hey stan-ley, wanna give me that stan-d?" "woah."

brags about it

"y/n said she'd gobble me up yesterday 😏" "dude, what the flip" "kenny, you just don't get it."

but when he's around you he says the stupidest shit

"looking good, marshy poo" "oh, thanks 😰😁"

when he flirts back, it's all mid

"nice shirt, stanley" "nice face, y/n"

but when it still flusters you, he's like "yeah, she likes me"

"would you be interested in going out with me 🤓"

and then would be all like "uhhh i mean, uh, would you, let's go on a date"

thought he ate the girls up

standing there like "😏"

"yeah, sure"

AND IS SHOCKED

pretends he's not shocked

"oh, sweet 🥱" "like this pussy" "😦"

a/n: i love this so much

not proofread because im lazy (sexy facial expression)

[greazyfloz]

Mark and Ethan 3 some?

The Bucket List

w/ Ethan Edwards and Mark Estapa

SMUT

Word Count: 1.8 k

[Ethan POV]

~Yesterday Night~

Y/n had some friends over at her apartment tonight for a wine night so I was just chillen at home playing chel with Estapa when my phone started to ring, I paused the game seeing Y/n’s name appear across the screen, “Hello?” I say before hearing laughing and hooting from Y/n and her friends. I look over to Estapa “she but dialed me” i lightly laugh. “Put it on speaker, what are they talking about” he says amused, I put the phone on speaker and listen:

  “So you think he is hot?” I hear one of Y/n’s friends asking, “Oh I think he is sex-y” Y/n says making me blush until her friend continued, “So if you weren’t dating Ethan-”, “Oh yeah I would definitely fuck him” Y/n says, who the fuck? Mark looks at me biting his bottom lip trying not to laugh. “Ugh, its so weird around him now, because I had a pretty sexy dream about him a couple days ago and now it’s just awkward because like, that's E’s best friend. Obviously I’m not tempted because I think E is the sexiest person I’ve ever met, I just feel weird around Mark” Mark?!. I look over at Mark who’s jaw looks like it’s about to hit the ground. I hang up the phone and look over to Mark. “We didn’t hear that conversation” I say. Mark nods his head. “Maybe we shouldn’t have listened” Mark adds. We resume Chel for a bit before the food we ordered is at the door. Mark jumps up to get the order.

He hands me mine as we start to eat. As we are finishing up Mark and I are talking about some girl Mark just ended things with, “I don’t know I just didn’t see things going anywhere, she was too vanilla” Estapa tells me, “Like just missionary?”, “Yeah, and she won’t suck me off, foreplay sucks” Estapa says shaking his head laughing, I laugh with him “I got pretty lucky with Y/n I guess, She’s always down for whatever, like I mean anything” I say back, “I thought she would have been pretty vanilla, if I’m being honest”, “No, no like she has this bucket list of-” I start before stopping thinking maybe she doesn’t want me to disclose this detail. “Like a sex bucket list? That’s sexy” Estapa says throwing his head back, “You are a lucky dude” he continues looking back at me I laugh and unlock my phone going through mine and Y/n’s photos in our conversations to find the list she sent me. When I found it I clicked on it and handed my phone to Estapa. 

Estapa takes my phone and starts to read out loud: “Hot tub sex”, “check” I respond, “Hot party PDA”, “Every weekend, check”, “Phone sex”, “check”, “Bring vibrators to bed”, “check”, “Birthday Sex”, “Not yet”, “Hotel room”, “next weekend”  i say laughing about Y/n and I’s plans for her to come out to Notre Dame and sneak into my room “Dirty dog” Mark laughs before continuing on the list, “Threesome”, “No plans yet” I say, “But we are working on it”. Mark laughs, “damn bro”, He swipes to the side thinking the list went on, he looks down at it for a couple seconds before he realizes he is looking at a picture of a fully naked Y/n, “oh fuck, sorry” he says locking my phone and handing it back to me. I laugh taking my phone back. 

We go back to chel and Y/n gets brought up again. “So Y/n would fuck you we heard that earlier” I laugh, ‘Would you fuck her? Like say I wasn’t in the picture”, “Honestly, ye-” he starts but stop and says “Why are you asking me, tryna fill out the bucket list?” he laughs awkwardly. “Why not” we both laugh continuing with our night.

[Y/n POV]

Ethan and I were laying in his bed play fighting when he starting tickling me, “Ma-ark stop!” I say making Ethan immediately stop. “What did you just say?”, “Nothing” I say. Ethan gets off the bed and looks down at me. “What?” I say getting up trying to act as if I didn’t just say Mark’s name. “I gotta admit something” Ethan starts, “You butt dialed me yesterday and Mark and I were listening and you said you’d fuck Mark”, my cheeks burn red. “I’m sorry, I would never though because I love you”, “don’t apologize, I’m not mad. I did kinda show Mark your bucket list though and he may accidentally saw a picture of you yesterday…”, “Ethan!” i yell, “Why would you do that?” she questions, “I don’t know, it just came up. Boy talk.” Ethan says scratching the back of his head. “I’m sorry. I think he liked it if that means anything” he looks at me. I laugh at his attempt to make me feel better. “I’m not mad” I say rolling my eyes. 

“Good” ethan says peppering me with kisses. Ethan suddenly stops “Wanna check off something on the list?” he says smirking at me. I have a feeling I know what he is talking about so I say nod. “Take all your clothes off and lay back on the bed” Ethan tells me before going over to the dresser and picking up his phone. I get undressed so I am fully nude and go over to ethan wrapping my arms around him, “And why are you still dressed?” I say lifting his shirt. He takes it off and looks at me “Lay” he points to the bed. I lay down on the bed and I hear him say “okay, good” to himself before walking over and sitting on top of me. I hear the facetime ringer waiting for someone to connect on Ethan’s phone, “When he answers, ask if he wants to join” ethan laughs sitting on me. “What’s up” I hear Mark over the facetime call, I bite my lip as ethan looks into his camera saying “Y/n wants to ask you something”, he turns his camera to his back camera, so the facetime reveals a very naked me on the screen, I cover my eyes and say “do you want to join us” giggling. “Say it again without covering your eyes”, I uncover my eyes and ethan grabs one of my bare boobs making me giggle more knowing mark is watching this. “Mark, do you want to have sex with Eddy and I” I say, Ethan laughs at Mark’s reaction through the Faceetime. “I’m coming” mark says ending the call. 

Within seconds, Mark enters the room. “Is this for real?” Mark asks, “Well are you just going to look at her naked or you going to do something?” Ethan says, I sit up so I am now sitting on the side of the bed looking at Mark, “You first” Ethan says as mark takes his shirt off,  coming closer to me pushing my back down on the bed. Mark forcefully puts his lips on mine as I see ethan take his pants off sitting on the desk chair, feeling himself through his boxers. Mark travels down to my nipples and grabs my boobs massaging them roughly while sucking on my nipples. “F-fuck!” i whisper out a whimper, mark grows hard against my leg in reaction. I reach down grabbing Mark and rubbing him through his pants earning a small moan escape his mouth. His lips come back up to meet mine before backing up to take off his pants. 

Ethan stands back up lifting me up so I am now standing making out with him. He lays me down on the bed and moving beside me. He stops and spreads my legs revealing my soaking pussy to Mark. “Eat up” ethan says to mark before connecting out lips again. Suddenly I feel Mark’s tongue flick up and down in fast motions on my clit. I moan into ethan’s lips and reach down to massage ethan through his boxers. Mark began sucking my clit as ethan breaks our make out session to remove his boxers, making me moan loudly, “Aa, mmm!”. Mark sticks his tongue inside me licking and moving his head back and forth as I massage my boobs. Ethan stands stroking his dick watching. “Get on your knees” Ethan says to me. Mark stands and I obey Ethan standing up off the bed then falling to me knees. 

Grabbing Mark first, I stroke his dick before turning and putting ethan in my mouth with the other. I start slow with ethan but he grabs my hair and starts pumping himself faster into my mouth. Ethan pulled my head back looking down at me proud of himself seeing the pre-cum from my mouth from his dick, I lick my lips to clean myself a bit before ethan grabbed my chin wiping the pre-cum and spit harshly. I turn a face Marks did taking it in bobbling my head back and forth. “Grab on. Fuck her face” Ethan tells Mark. Mark obeys grabbing onto my hair roughly pushing my head in and out. I pull myself away smiling up at mark earning a “fucking sexy” to leave his lips. 

Ethan stands me up pushing me down on the bed. “Hands and knees” Ethan demands. I obey his orders and feel a hard slap on my ass once. I yelp out once before receiving another slap on the ass, “Ready?” Ethans says behind me with his tip lined up at my entrance. “Yes” I plead and ethan wastes no time sliding inside of me. Mark walks to the other side of the bed and lifts my chin up so my lips were lined up with his dick. I open my mouth and began to suck Marks cock as Ethans pumped inside of me. With every pump from ethan the deeper he gets earning a moan on Mark’s cock. Ethan grunts before saying “on your back, now!” I release mark from inside my mouth and laid back knowing from ethan’s tone that he is close. He took his condom off stroking himself quickly as Mark rolled a condom on before lining himself up next. Ethan grabs my face and kneels down to the side of the bed before finishing in my mouth. Mark at the same time thrusts inside of me hard and fast and keeping up the pace. Ethan pushes my hair out of my face as I moan out in pleasure “Fuck! Don’t stop!” I whimper. Ethan bends connecting his lips with mine, before mark says “I’m gonna cum”, “go ahead” I say. Mark plunges himself in deep before releasing himself inside of the condom. He takes himself out taking the condom off and throwing it out. 

Mark starts to get changed and turns to the door “Ah- Thanks” mark says awkwardly before turning again ethan looks at him and says “do not. Tell anyone”. Mark shakes his head and leaves the room. Ethan jumps back into bed holding me in his arms. I pull out my Bucket List from my notes and check off ‘threesome’. Ethan laughs before saying “We’re going to need a new list”.

[taiiunknown]

PLAYING GAMES !🫢

Shuri X BlackReader fic

Warning: cursing,Angst,smut but not too much

Summary : shuri and y/n gets into a heated argument after a party , which led to shuri asking reader to obey her but reader used the word “NO” know shuri does not do well with the word “NO”

Me and shuri have been invited to this get together with the avengers, it was honestly exciting for me bc I had just bought this new champagne dress with these glittery heels that are so pretty and since I just got my hair and nails did I was ready more than anything.

Me and shuri got ready around 6 bc the party started at 7:50 which was the perfect time !

After me and shuri was dress we quickly made it to the car , but I noticed that shuri kept eyeing me from head to. “What’s wrong babe? You don’t like my dress ?” “No you just look so sexy usana, I can’t keep my eyes off you” Shuri said with lust in her eyes , “behave baby we almost close to the party” I said slapping shuri hand from reaching up my dress .

We made it to the party and was greeted with open arms by everyone who was giving me the “Omg you are so gorgeous” “you look like a beautiful diamond” “Shuri must be really lucky!” “Shuri better be glad she got there first bc you are a beautiful girl!”

Those comments made my night and I can unsure you that I was smiling as bright as day. Time went on and I came across a old friend who I haven’t seen since high school! Me and him was so close until I found out he had feeling for me and I had to tell him that I am very much interested in girls then boys but that doesn’t mean I don’t love him like a best friend,

“Y/N?!”

“CHRIS?!!”

We both ran up to each other, he pulled me in a warm up that he always gave me and that I kinda missed bc he was the one I told all my tea too .

Me and Chris held on to each other for like 30 second then finally pulled away, when I pulled away I seen the biggest smile on his face that made me return one back bc he was so sweet .

“OMG what are you doing here lovey?” Chris asked ( BY THE WAY ME AND CHRIS GAVE EACH OTHER NICKNAMES SO HE CALLED ME LOVEY AND I CALLED HIM BOOKIE) “I should be asking you the same thing bookie!” I said “God, I missed you so much Lovey” “I missed you more bookie”

Me and Chris started to catch up with each other when we was interrupted by shuri who just clears her throat , “Y/N you’re not gonna introduce me ?” Shuri said raising a brow “Omg im so sorry ! , Chris this is shuri my gf , shuri this is my old best friend Chris .” Shuri looked at Chris like she wanted to attack him “ Nice to meet you bookie” Shuri spat out like it was venom in her mouth “nice to meet you too queen” Chris said sounding a little scared.

The night ended and me and shuri was now back in the car and honestly I couldn’t wait to leave bc it was awkward the whole night due to shuri being so mean to chris , idk what gotten into her but she was giving me jealous vibes the whole night !

*Back at the palace*

Me and shuri made it to our shared room , I was taking off all my jewelry when all of a sudden shuri breaks the silence between us. “Sooo bookie huh ?” “ and it’s so cute that he calls you Lovey back” Shuri said tryna be funny but start a argument at the same time “ I don’t wanna chat period” I said bc I knew where this was going .

*10 minutes later*

“I AM SO SICK AND TIRED OF BEING IN THIS SAME LOOP WITH YOU SHURI ! ITS LIKE YOU GET MAD AT THE SIMPLEST THINGS THAT HAPPENS WITH ME AND MY FRIENDS, I TOLD YOU ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT US AND HOW WE MET NOW PLEASE LEAVE IT THE FUCK ALONE!!!”

I have never, Ever talked to shuri that way and we have been together for 2 years so the shock on her face was crazy …

“HAVE YOU LOST YOUR FUCKING MIND? WHO ARE YOU SPEAKING TO LIKE THAT ?”

I just looked at the ground bc my intentions was to not explode on her like that but we have been arguing for 20 minutes and I’m tired honestly…

“ ndiphendule NGOKU ! ( ANSWER ME NOW !)” Shuri was now angry and trust me I have never seen her this angry since her mom died so me yelling at her for the first time must really pissed her off . “No one …” I said quietly staring at my white nails polish on my toes bc I could not posses my self to look her in the eye .

“ Ndijonge”( look at me)

When I looked up shuri eyes was filled with awe when she seen i shedded a few tears now

“Stop crying y/n”

I did bc she told me I’m too pretty to be crying once and ever since she told me that I always stop crying when she tells me to stop.

“Strip for me” Shuri said with lust now in her eyes bc of my dress and how my body hugged it so well “No” I said softly As badly I wanted to bc her yelling had got me so horny but I felt bold and wanted to take control for once even though I’m weak in the knees for her touch “You strip for me how about that” I said with a smirk, “I love this boldness you gained tonight but I advise you to let it go or the punishment will be worse than ever” Shuri sounded so sexy with that pent up anger in her voice but I wasn’t gonna fold bc she always have me obey her when she doesn’t even does the same for me so I guess we playing games tonight… “No and like I said you strip” I said now matching her energy, shuri walked towards me and I started walking back not even knowing that I cornered myself (typical y/n) “why are you so angry shuri, is it bc Chris want what’s yours ?” I said tryna push her even more bc I become aroused when she is angry don’t judge me im a little toxic… “excuse me ?” Shuri eye brows raised and let’s just say I think I’m having a little too much fun making her jealous 😐 “You heard me I said CHRIS WANT WHA-“ before I can finish I felt a grip to my arm that lightly tossed me on the bed , I’m sorry but it seemed like Shuri turned into flash less than a second. “That mouth of yours needs to be worked on, IMMEDIATELY!” “SO STRIP LIKE I SAID AND TRUST ME I WILL NOT BE REPEATING MY SELF BC IN THE LOVE OF BAST I WILL RIP YOUR CLOTHES OFF AND YOU WILL NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN!!” Shuri voice was so loud I’m sure the guards was starting to strip too 😭😭 after that I snap back into reality realizing that I have a meeting tmr and need my legs to walk 🥲 “Yes my queen” I said now taking off my dress slowly then ever while she went to the closet to get something. When she came back I was in my lingerie that was black with a kinda see through bra, she came towards me lifting my chin “you’re so sexy usana, but sadly you might be unable to walk into you meeting tmr so now people can’t see your entle face” I’ve never gulped so hard in my life…

After two hours of having the best rough sex ever I was honestly drained, I was so drained that shuri had to carry me from the bed to the bath and then back to the bed that now had new sheets do to all the squirti- matter a fact I’m not even gonna go into details …

I ended up waking up at 2pm since I didn’t gts till 3am, I tried to move but my legs was so sore so I just laid back down , then memories of last night kept replaying in my head including shuri words…

(Shuri’s words)

“ You taking me so well Usana!” “Look at you being a intombi elungile (good girl)” “who pussy does this belong too? Huh ndiphendule (answer me)!” Let’s just say that all I could pull out was “YOURSSSS BA-BYYYY” bc trust me it was like my brain was being fucked out and my vision was becoming blurry bc my eyes felt like it was finna pop out of my head 🤷🏽‍♀️

I came 4 times and I will never admit to that so ya 😐

Shuri came back into the room with food and a ice pack ( I’m guessing that’s for my cat ?) I thought to myself bc it was so sore , I still feel like it’s not my fault tho it’s fasho Chris fault 😒 bc nobody told him to go to this party and if he haven’t came to the party shuri wouldn’t be so jealous and I wouldn’t have been so petty and horny , and my cat and legs would still be functioning again 🥲

“You finally up y/n?” “I thought I killed your cat not you” she chuckled to herself while sitting the tray in my lap “you think you funny ?”I said “no, I think im hilarious” “you know the Dora’s asked was everything alright bc they told me all they heard was “OMG SHURIIIII” “I CANT TAKE IT BABY!” “SHURIIII SLOW DOWN” “UGHH FUCK BAB-“ OKAY PLZ STOP SHURI THATS EMBARRASSING” I said bc I felt slutted out 😒 “let’s just say the neighbors did say they know my name y/n” Shuri said now fully laughing

I palmed my face bc even though WE HAD A TIME LAST NIGHTTTT ! I knew that when I show my face outside our room people will be smirking at me 😒

“Usana” Shuri said softly “yes” I said “did you do all of that on purpose last night?” She asked already knowing the answer “no” I said smirking like …

[bigsnzstanacct]

Ahhh okay this is very niche BUT, I have a Ch/eck Plea/se scenario on the brain with these two characters Nur/sey and D/ex and maybe I will edit to explain who the characters are but my vision is basically like… they both have the fetish, their mutual friend Chow/der knows about Nur/sey’s but not De/x’s, they’re on a kind of enemies to lovers track in my brain, ANYWAY (putting more under the cut bc then I don’t have to put the dumb slashes in the names, right?

Okay so Dex has like The Biggest Sneezes, so loud, so wet, so desperate and intense, and Nursey is Into Big Sneezes BUT Dex is SUPER shy about the fetish (like one of those can’t say the word sneeze, can barely bless people types) and HATES sneezing because it draws so much attention to himself specifically about the thing he is awkward about. Anyway so like Chowder and Nursey are high and talking about the fetish and Dex overhears and he has All The Feelings like OMG this guy I have the hots for has my same fetish OMG how dare he TALK about it he’s going to EXPOSE US and also wow I wish I was that Free and Open but also WHAT KIND OF SNEEZES DOES HE LIKE DOES HE LIKE MINE I LIKE HIS SO MUCH. And Chowder and Nursey are like “okay okay what about me do I have Hot Sneezes?” “I mean yours are good, but like I can’t see you that way you’re like a) straight and b) basically my brother.” “Okay okay what about… Holster” “omg so hot so loud, excellent” (and Dex is over there like “omg me me I have loud sneezes but wait no I hate having loud sneezes ahh feelings are confusing!”)

Chowder: “okay uhhhh… how about Jack? Did you ever hear Jack sneeze?”

Nursey: “ughhhhh noooo but I want to so BAD that guy is gorgeous I mean no offense to Bitty not tryna steal his man but that ASS goddamn!”

Dex: *feeling identical feelings very intensely and also why is this man strumming my pain with his fingers and singing my life with his words* (he only knows that song bc Nursey yes it’s the Fugees version).

Chowder: “how about… Lardo?”

Nursey: “oh. 100% yes, ten out of ten, her and Shitty both—I have heard Shitty by the way and like… okay hers are lowkey so LOUD especially for how tiny she is and then his aren’t as loud but they’re like… so desperate and he’ll go like five times in a row… lmao I can’t believe I’m telling you this shit you must think I’m SO weird.”

Chowder: “nah dude, like you always say we’re all weirdos. I mean you know about my thing.”

Nursey: “it’s like adorable how pink your ears get when you even mention it hahaha”

Dex: *wondering if Nursey would find his pink ears cute*

Chowder: oh! Oh! What about Dex?

Dex: *stomach drops, rises, roller coasters, heart does a whiz bang flip flop*

Nursey: “ugh… that guy.”

Dex: *heart craters*

Chowder: “Nursey, don’t be that way. I mean doesn’t he do that like… he doesn’t let it out, but isn’t that like a… sexy mystery or something?”

Nursey: “I mean… it would be but he’s such a prude I mean. I could never talk about this with him he’d look at me like I was so disgusting. And besides, I know the mystery… he like… never let’s it out. He ALWAYS stifles. I’ve been his roommate for like months now” (did I mention they were roommates??) “and not. even. once. And like, not even on my kinky shit but like it looks like it hurts him. And I told him it’s his room too he can sneeze but nope. Repressed, like everything else about him. Kinda sad.”

Dex: *emotionally flailing, on life support, smushed, a Kafka-esque insect (and actually he had read Metaphorphosis before he met Nursey ThankYouSoMuch) beneath the boot of Bad Feelings*

Chowder: “maybe he just doesn’t feel comfortable. Still… you are curious aren’t you.”

Nursey: “well I mean… I don’t want to take advantage of him but like… maybe it wasn’t tooooooootally true that there’s noooooo kinky curiosity there…”

Chowder: “I knew it! Called it! You totally wanna know.”

Dex: *emotionally revived, risen from the ashes, also so confused, nearing emotional shutdown, everything is happening at once how do I get out of here without making noise they cannot know I was spying on them like this omg omg omg he’s gonna hate me internal roller coaster noises*

[simthorium]

Luna’s senior internship was going very differently than Jordyn’s. She was working with her Aunt Kamaria in the city government, and things weren’t going too well. “Luna, focus!” Kamaria said. “Put your phone away and listen.” “I am listening,” Luna muttered, still looking down at her phone. “This is serious,” said Kamaria. “We’re canvassing for voters, and you need to be really detail oriented. We want to get an accurate count. And what the hell are you wearing?” “Provocative clothing will help sway voters,” Luna said. “Duh.” “God,” Kamaria muttered. “Let’s just get started.”

Luna headed downstairs, not really feeling this whole thing. She loved hanging out in Midtown for the babes, not for political canvassing. Holding a clipboard did not look very sexy, she thought. Before she could internally grumble at herself anymore, she spotted a particularly handsome guy and sidled up to him.

“Hi,” she said in her sweetest voice. “Are you registered to vote by chance?” “Why, you tryna get my number?” the guy asked, shaking her hand.  “Something like that,” Luna said.

“You’re a fraud!” Mrs. Crumplebottom screeched at Kamaria, who was seated outside. “I don’t want my tax dollars going to some stupid train project!? That’s fascism!” Kamaria sighed; she was so over this. As Mayor of SimCity, she knew it was going to be a hard sell to convince voters that her inter-neighborhood train project was worth the price, but there were always grouches like Mrs. Crumplebottom who refused to listen to reason.

“Thank you for your input,” Kamaria said. “I’ll certainly take that into account.” “You better keep your hands off my account!” Mrs. Crumplebottom said. “No, I said I’ll take it into--never mind,” Kamaria muttered.

Luna and Kamaria had been canvassing for an hour, but the only person Luna had even talked to was the hot guy with a manbun. It didn’t take long for them to start full on making out. Kamaria spotted her niece from the corner of her eye and groaned; this was going to be the longest internship ever.

Before Kamaria could even make her way over to Luna, Mrs. Crumplebottom was smacking her with her purse. “Decorum, young lady!” Mrs. Crumplebottom shouted, swinging the weirdly heavy purse into Luna’s shoulders and head. “Ouch!” Luna said, pushing her away. “Keep away from me, crazy!”

“God, being a political operative is so hard,” Luna said, rubbing her head. “That’s not what that means,” her cousin Caleb said from behind her. “Having such a big family is so annoying,” she muttered. “I can’t go anywhere without seeing one of y’all.” “It’s a blessing and a curse,” Caleb said with a shrug.

“Luna, you really need to get your shit together,” Kamaria said as they regrouped inside later on. “I know you might not think this is important, but the work we’re doing here is going to lay the groundwork for a lot of critical stuff in the future. I need you to do your job.” “It’d be a lot easier if that stupid old woman wasn’t lurking around all the time,” Luna said. “Can’t you write a bill to kick her out of the city or something?” Kamaria turned around to see Mrs. Crumplebottom staring at them.

“God, I wish,” Kamaria said. “You know how we can get her back?” “How?” Luna asked. “She thinks my train project sucks,” Kamaria explained. “If we blow this thing out of the water, she’ll have no choice to back off.” Luna thought about it for a moment. “Ok, let’s rock this shit,” she said, high-fiving Kamaria.  “I hate you all,” Mrs. Crumplebottom muttered.

[bmpmp3]

I'm trying so desperately to contain all my Love Live Opinions(tm) but I can't contain it for my longer SO I really like Karin but I'm gonna be honest I'm really Not A Fan of her tokimeki runners outfit and I think......she should be ikemen..............she has a handsome anime boy mullet I think she should be allowed to be ikemen ....here's a planner doodle of ikemen Karin....let her be ikemen............

[nightowlfandom]

Kakashi Hatake- Cheeky

 ANON ASKS

Hey author-chan how are you? Well I saw that your requests are open and I would like to know if you write to Naruto and if the answer is yes, could I get a Kakashi x f!reader imagine/oneshot with prompt #19, please?

I ended up asking her to choose a couple more prompts, aaannnd here they are!

#19- Hmm, who you tryna’ look sexy for babygirl?

#20- Don’t finish that sentence darling…it won’t end well for you

#27- I couldn’t stop thinking about you all day.

#30- Dance for me. I’ll sit right here and you put on a show, okay?

 #47- You’re too cheeky for you own good, kid.

warning.....I will fuck up your day. Might be OOC but almost all my shit kinda is imo lol Does anyone really care?....he spits in your mouth..... I am sorry for absolutely nothing.

CHECKOUT MY MASTERLIST HERE!

Leggo

...

“Watch it, Kid!”

“Why don’t you walk where you walk!” you caught the throwing star between your two fingers as it was hurled back at you. “You’re cutting into my training time.” you rolled your eyes.

“Damnit Y/N you could have taken my eye out.” Kakashi groaned. “Be careful with that thing!” 

“Like that would have been a bad thing.” you scoffed. “Get out of the way next time.” you rubbed your shoulder. “If you weren’t in my line of vision, you wouldn’t have almost got caught in the crossfire.”

“You know you love looking at me.”

“How can I when no one ever sees your face.” you burst out laughing. “What kinda mug you got under than mask, huh?” you challenged. 

“You’re too cheeky for your own good kid, someone outta bring you down a few notches.”

“And just whose gonna do that.” you rolled your eyes, turning away from him.

You ignored his answer and bent over, stretching to touch your toes. “My back.” you groaned. When you stood up straight again, he was staring at you. “You need something?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” he blinked(...or winked?) at you.

“I can’t tell if that was a wink or not...” you raised a brow.

“Good.”

“You’re a real-”

“ Don’t finish that sentence darling…it won’t end well for you “

He walked off, undoubtedly wearing a self-satisfactory look on his face.

“How does she put up with him?”

“Damn, I thought she was really gonna kill him for a minute.”

“You’d think those two liked each other with how much they argue backed and forth.”

“It’s not nice to gossip.” you called behind your back to your comrades. You shoved the throwing star back into your pouch and walked off. Kakashi Hatake and Y/N L/N were always the talk of the town. One was always getting on the nerves of the others.

....

You were relaxing in your house after a long day of training. It was good to work out your skills while nothing was going on. You never knew when something was gonna happen. You stretched your arms over your head as you walked into your kitchen. 

“God I’m starving.” you sighed. Before you could dig through your fridge, there was a knock at the door.

“I’m coming!” you called, knowing they could hear. As you neared the door, the knocking only got louder. “Geez Hold on-!” You yanked the door open to see Kakashi awkwardly standing there. He wore his authoritative demeanor.

“Y/N, may I come in?” he spoke. You almost peaked behind his shoulder, people were walking around outside. ‘We must talk.”

“Sure.” you made room for him to walk in. Just as you closed the door, you were pushed up against the door. He yanked down his mask to show that daring smirk. You felt his lips brush against yours. Kakashi wrapped his arms around your waist, hoisting you up and pushing you even further against the door.

“ I couldn’t stop thinking about you all day. “ he moaned against your lips. “Shit you drive me crazy.” he growled.  “I bet you thought your little show was cute.”

“Got your attention didn’t it?” you giggled through the friction. “If we’re gonna sneak around, might as well make it fun for me too.”

For the last several months you had been more than casual with Kakashi. He trailed his hand down your spine, resting at the base of your back. 

“I have half a mind to punish you.” he began kissing down your neck. “But I missed you so much.”

“So does that mean you can stay for the night or do you have to wrangle those three morons again?” you melted into his tough as the thoughts of the Three Stooges getting into trouble that required Kakashi to clean up....again. 

“I’ll stay if you want me to.” he began kissing your cheeks, forehead, nose and lips. He kept rotating around each area of your face. To answer his question, you helped him out of his jacket. “Hm, okay then.” he smirked. 

“I don’t need to tell you where my bedroom is do I?” you stepped away from him.

... (Two days later)

Training in the woods wasn’t so bad. But training while Kakashi dragged his students along was gonna drive you absolutely crazy.

“Y/N! Y/N!”

“Yes. Naruto.” you seethed. ‘What can I do for you.”

“I’m gonna be the best Ninja in the world! You just watch! I’ll be able to beat you one day!”

“That’s great buddy!” you tried to laugh. Cute. No one could compare to you when it came to throwing sharp things at a target. You walked by Kakashi sending him a harsh glare. You walked ahead of the group. No one could see it, but your annoyance made him smile a bit. You stopped in front of a three, pinning a target to it before walking a good 30 feet away from it. You went into your pouch and took out a throwing star.

With a single flick of the wrist you threw it, watching it slice through the air and hit the target right in the middle. You walked back another few feet and did it again. Good to know you hadn’t lost your touch.

“Wow. Miss Y/N sure knows what she’s doing.” Sakura whispered to Kakashi. “I can see why everyone raves about her,”

“Yes. She is very capable, Sakura. She has impeccable precision.” he commented. Although he was thinking something completely different. Everyone watched as you took out your annoyance on the bullseye target, When you had ran out of stars, you trudged back up to the tree and yanked each one out.

Later on, Sakura, Sasuke, and Naruto were all napping. All had passed out at some point after some extreme training courtesy of Kakashi. As for you, you were sitting by the lake, getting some much needed recreation. You had just gone for a swim. The ice cold water felt perfect. 

You stood up against the tree facing away from everyone. You were prepared to get back into the water when Kakashi came up, slowly ridding himself of his shirt as he did.

“Going for a-” you were cut off as he pushed himself against you, claiming your mouth in a kiss. Not that you weren’t totally happy, but his students were literally napping less that 50 feet away from you both.

“W-wha are you-?”

“Shhh.” Kakashi pulled down his mask then got down on his knees as he fumbled with your panties. “If we’re gonna do this, you gotta be quiet.”

“You’ve had some pretty dumb ideas but-...fuh.” you cut yourself off as you felt him trail his hands up your thigh. He pressed small kisses down your thighs. You were still soaking wet from the water, so your skin was slippery. He pulled your panties down, placing small kisses along your heat.

You dared peek over your shoulder. Everyone was still sleeping, but you found it hard to focus. Kakashi gently drove his tongue into your slit, causing a sharp gasp to escape your lungs. Your legs shook as his tongue flicked against your clit.

“Kakashi~” you shuddered. You found yourself running your hands against his silvery white hair. He grabbed your leg and hooked it over his shoulder. “We could get caught!”

“Exciting isn’t it?” he giggled. “You just have to stay quiet.” you felt his fingers slither inside you. “ Come on Y/N... Dance for me. I’ll sit right here and you put on a show, okay? “ he moaned, sloppily dragging his tongue up your slit. “Shit- You’re so fucking good, Y/N. You’re soaking.” he laughed evilly. 

“Whose f-fault is that!”

He slapped your ass, making you gasp again. You could just picture that shit eating grin on his face. 

You were made to stand up straight as Kakashi rose to his feet. He hoisted you up, wrapping both of your legs around his torso. You hadn’t noticed that his pants had dropped around his ankles. You felt his painfully slowly slide himself inside. 

“They’re still sleeping.” he grunted, slowly thrusting into you. “Fuck I needed this.” he moaned. “I need you~” he coughed. “Kiss me.” 

He, in a hurry, sloppily kissed you. Your tongues clashed. You faced heated up from the lewd sounds your mouths made as they clashed together. Kakashi pushed your further against the tree. 

“Kakashi..” you were able to muster. 

“Open your fucking mouth.” he cut you off. “Now...” he growled. 

You obediently did as he asked, sticking out your tongue as Kakashi let a line of drool go from his tongue to yours. He claimed your mouth again while he dug his nails into your thighs. His cock twitched inside of you as his thrusts grew sloppy. 

You couldn’t even talk through his kisses. Your insides clenched around him, feeling yourself grow more and more sensitive at his touch. You didn’t care how loud you were anymore and he didn’t either. 

“I’m gonna- I’m gonna fucking cum. I’m gonna- ARGH-” 

You felt him practically bottom out inside of you, cumming inside your depths. To avoid making any sounds, he kissed you again. With one harsh thrust, you came too. You heard those lewd watery sounds as liquids dripped out of your pussy, down your legs. Poor plants. 

“Kakashi~” you moaned again.

“It feels good?” he talked down to you in a babyish voice. “You like my cum inside you don’t you.” he spilled the rest of himself into you tightness. “And they’re still sleeping.” he smirked. “You were worried about nothing.”

“Shut up.” you rolled your eyes. You whined as he slowly removed himself from you. 

“It’s running down your leg.” he laughed. “Shit, you’re so sexy.” he dragged his tongue down your neck. “Shit-”

“You’re lucky we didn’t get caught.” you shakily spoke. “And you call me the cheeky one.”

“Hm, don’t be like that, babe...or else I might not to easy on you this time.”

(This one was not so much hardcore, but it was something, so I’m all caught up with requests I think! Does anyone here fucks with Haikyuu?.....Can I- Can I write for Haikyuu?)

[moonofiron]

I have been thinking about Gintoki since quite a while and the conclusion I have reached is that the goofier a man, the more intimate he can get.

Here's something I've never tried before. It starts with my perception of Gintoki's kinks and collapses into a narrative about how a particular kink will play out when he's with his female SO.

(I think what I have done here is called an "HC" but I am not sure. All HCs I've read are in bullet points and this is... not in bullet points. So idk... I'm just out here tryna get this fucking concept OFF MY CHEST.)

Anime: Gintama

Characters: Sakata Gintoki x whoever you imagine his female SO to be!

Genre: Smut, explicit sexual content, kinks 🥵

Rating: M

Synopsis: Gintoki melts at the sight of her in a plain white t-shirt and panties

Word Count: 2,386

Minors, click here.

I think, above all, Gintoki has a MASSIVE kink for going bareback. But it manifests itself a little differently for him. Internally, he absolutely refuses to cum anywhere else. But he's also super conscious of his partner's needs and will cum anywhere his babe wants him to. It delights him that she's so eager. Even though it leaves him feeling a little unsatisfied, it's not a big deal because he feels so strongly for her. He does love cumming deep in the back of his partner's throat because it feels so similar to what he thinks it would feel like cumming inside her.

It's a tricky kink to work with because under his lazy-bum facade, he actually has a super strong sense of responsibility. This is also why he refuses to have casual sex with just anyone. He's the kind who has a deeply intimate, committed, and long-term relationship with his partner.

His "kink" is a completely unsaid thing though. He will never explicitly talk about it. He loves dirty talk (anything goes, really) but this is one thing he will not say out loud. So, essentially, his partner will never hear him say stuff like "let daddy fill you up/I'm gonna cum inside you/ Daddy's gonna fill up that tight, pretty cunt".

No, he's not shy. Nor is he a prude. He's just a sucker for the quietness around the act of him filling up his partner. He digs the submission of a woman just taking him in fully, without making it into a "kink" or reducing the act to something they both occasionally get off on. He wants his woman to treat it as routine, ordinary, and natural. Almost like aftercare. Nobody says out loud that they want to be taken care of after a rough fuck. It's expected and unsaid. The unsaid but sure nature of filling up his partner is what makes it unbearably initmate for him.

He absolutely can not control the pleasure of being nestled inside her in his most tender, vulnerable, yet powerful moments. He breaks and lights up at the same damn time. His focus is sharp and only on the way her body reacts, not the words they share. He stares intently and deeply into her eyes when he cums inside her, making her flinch at the intensity he is capable of. It is in these moments she fully grasps what he means when he says he owns her.

If his partner does mention him cumming inside her, (eg: I want you to cum inside me/ fill me up Daddy) he will grind his teeth and cover her mouth instantly and harshly, maybe put a couple of fingers in her mouth so she can't speak. If he says something, it'll be along the lines of, "Just shut up and take it," as he thrusts harder and deeper.

He will twitch inside his partner, grow slightly bigger, and cum sooner than usual. Subtle but controlled cues like his grip on her hair getting harder will let her know that this is actually something he really digs.

The first few times his partner and he get down and dirty, he will do anything to please her and in turn, himself. He'll lazily make her sit on his face in the mornings, finger her a lot (anywhere, anytime), make her fool around with toys for him, ask her to rub herself while he stares intently and licks his lips, and let her suck his cock. He'll fuck her when he wants but it'll always be with a condom. He'll let her ride the brains out of him, too. But, always with a condom.

When he absolutely can not take it any longer (say, about 4 months into a relationship), he will break. He will break at the sight of her in plain white panties and a white t-shirt, doing her own thing.

He'll be sitting on his chair, behind the desk. He'll clear his throat to grab her attention. He'll beckon her with his thick finger and she'll think it's going to be their usual fucking and loving. She'll bite her lips and exaggerate the sway in her hips as she walks towards him. The performative nature of the sensual way she walks towards him will make her breathe slightly heavily and the first few baby spots of wetness will bloom in the crotch of her panties.

When she finally reaches him, a smirk will be playing on his lips and his eyes will look sleepy at first. He'll hold her waist lightly and look up at her. She'll look down at him, smiling, a coy finger in her mouth and her other hand on his shoulder.

She'll notice a difference in the way he handles her. She'll notice that he's looking at her with such greed that it's making her falter. She'll sense something is off and ask if everything is ok.

"Hmm," he'll say in a deep voice against her stomach.

He'll slowly turn her around and make her sit on his lap. She'll turn back to look at him wide eyed and smiling shyly. It usually takes a solid 12 minutes of kissing, biting, and frantic touching to get him this hard. She'll still be a little taken aback by Gintoki's seriousness. He's usually goofy and playful or an outright sadistic and sexy beast.

He'll open up his zipper and its cool metal will make her squirm. His warm and fat cock will spring out and she'll feel its sweaty stickiness against her lower back. She'll gasp at and throb for his unusual, unprovoked arousal and quickly reach for his desk-drawer where he stashes all the condoms. She'll take one out and start to open up the wrapper only to have Gintoki take the half-opened condom from her delicate hands in between his teeth and spit it out far into the corner of the room; his hands will never leave her waist.

Her eyes will widen again and she'll start to say something but Gintoki will tilt his head and give her a look that'll make her shiver and shut up. A mix of fear and anticipation will make her stomach drop. She'll be dripping by now and surprised at how less it takes for her to be utterly slick and ready for him.

She'll find it unbearably intimidating to look him in the eye and will turn her head, only the find herself reflected back at her in the mirror next to them. Her nipples will be hard through her t-shirt, her naked legs will be between Gintoki's clothed ones.

Gintoki will use just one of his fingers to slide her white panties to the side and position the tip of his cock at her wetness.

He'll slowly breathe into her ear "I'm going to fuck you raw and deep..."

He'll wait just a moment for her reaction before saying, "or not at all."

He'll put his hand around her chin and make her turn her head to look at him.

“And, you will stay shut about it the entire time, yeah?"

She'll nod her head ever so slightly with parted lips and then bite her lip nervously and unconsciously. She'll have already started moving against the tip of his cock, making it completely slick with her wetness. Her clit will be throbbing in an anticipation she has never felt with Gintoki.

Without another word, he'll thrust himself inside of her in one long and quick motion. A silk moan will escape her mouth; she's never actually felt his warmth inside of her.

He'll fuck her painfully slow; she'll feel his girth stretch her out inch by inch. The sloppy and messy sound of the base of his cock rubbing against her clit after every stroke will be loud and clear in the afternoon quiet; it won't be covered by the usual frantic slapping of his balls against her clit. He'll be holding on to her waist so she doesn't try to move and change the rhythm or speed.

“Do you feel it?”

"Yea.." she'll moan.

“Do you like what you hear?”

“uhum..” is all she'll manage to say. She usually has no issues keeping up with conversations and dirty talk but she'll find it extremely hard to keep up with this particular conversation.

"Let me look at you pinching your nipples."

She'll catch him looking at her in the mirror and will immediately get to work.

"Harder. Don't cheat."

"Yes, sir."

"That's a good girl."

She'll falter at this and her legs will buckle. She'll feel Gintoki's hands hold her as he'll get up from the chair. He'll sit on the floor right in front of the mirror, still buried deep inside of her.

He'll snake his hand around to her clit and rub her agonizingly slowly, all the while fucking her with slow and deep thrusts. His other hand will be on top of her hands cupping her breasts. Her head will be thrown back on his shoulder and her waist and hips will match Gintoki's movements and rhythm. Everytime she'll be about to cum, he'll kiss and nibble at her jaw and stop rubbing her clit, edging her for hours on that day.

They'll eventually stop moving. They'll be panting because they can't take this relentless teasing anymore. He'll pull out and stand up, pick her up in her arms and take her to the futon where he'll lay her on her back. She'll spread herself wide and thrust her hips forward, holding his gaze all the while.

Gintoki will lick his fingers and stroke her swollen clit a few times before he starts to fuck her hard and deep. But, he'll still maintain a slow and steady tempo. The moment she'll start arching her back, he'll pull out and grin at her. Every time he'll pull out, she'll see his cock twitching, aching to be back inside. She'll notice it's equally hard for him to be edging for so long. She'll smirk. Gintoki will narrow his eyes at her. How dare she.

He'll start fucking her again, painfully slow, waiting to strike at the right moment. The moment he feels her back arching again, he'll pull out again. But, this time, instead of grinning at her and waiting for her to stop writhing, he'll slap her clit hard and then immediately rub it hard and fast. She'll go into a frenzy of screams and moans and her entire body will shiver, she will pull him down towards her and wrap her legs around him, his hand still not relenting her clit.

When she'll be completely spent, swollen, and sweating, her hair stuck to her breasts and neck, Gintoki will turn her around. She'll arch her back a bit, just for him. He'll guide his cock in the tight folds of her thighs, straight into her beautiful cunt, and start to fuck her at a slow pace all over again. She'll moan deep into the pillow, her face will be flushed from all the work, and her hands will be trying to reach at the back for his thighs. Gintoki will lie on top of her as he fucks her from behind. The moment she'll feel his weight on her, his sweat on her back, she'll cum around him, gushing, and the noises will get sloppier and louder.

She'll groan his name out loud in the pillow and he'll have turned her to her side by then. He'll put her head on his arm, spooning her. He'll hold her leg up as he'll thrust deep inside of her from behind. He'll hold her chin and turn her face to his to look at her flushed face, her mouth shaped a perfect small o, her eyes closed, eyebrows raised, in a kind of pleasure she's never felt before.

"Open your eyes."

She'll fling open her eyes and find him looking at her with an expression that makes her weak in her knees. She'll buck and jerk as she'll feel him finally going slightly faster with harder and shorter strokes. She'll feel him twitching inside her and she'll clench tighter around him, never breaking from his electrifying gaze that tells her he owns her completely.

A wild guttural sound she's never heard will escape Gintoki's throat. He'll moan her name hard as she'll feel his warmth spreading inside of her in bursts. She'll move to kiss his petal like lips, only to be thrusted once again with such force that her eyes will widen with the suddeness of it. He'll ease out of her slowly, in short thursts, and once he's fully out, he'll lift her leg higher to get a better view of her cunt, messy and slick with his cum dripping out. He'll throb, and be unable to control himself, and give her one last deep and hard thrust again. She'll make a high-pitched squeak at the suddeness again.

He'll stay inside her for a while, throbbing still. He'll be too spent to move but he'll kiss her face and feel her sweaty body with his firm hands fervently.

They'll both fall asleep, exhausted, in each other's arms.

Gintoki will wake up before her. It'll be dinner time. She'll wake up to him by her side in a towel, wet and fresh from his bath. He'll be wiping her legs and thighs with a warm and wet cloth, and smiling while he watches her wake up. She'll start to say something but he'll cut her off and say, "Dinner's ready, doll." He'll kiss her jaw and then her forehead and leave the room.

She'll sit up in bed, her entire body will be aching. She'll notice a packet on the corner of the bed. She'll pick it up and see that it has a morning-after pill, a pregnancy test, and a follow-up appointment with her usual gynaecologist. She'll blush a deep a red when she sees a glass of water by her bed-side.

"When the fuck did he become so...un-lazy? Where has he been hiding this side of him?!" She'll say out loud in disbelief.

//

Afterthougts:

In the first few months, Gintoki will make a conscious effort to get accustomed to his partner's menstruation cycle. He'll make sure he knows the days she's least fertile so he can minimize the risk of her getting knocked up. If that's not intimate and hella caring idk what the fuck is.

[nahimjustfeelingit-writes]

It’s Your Fucking Birthday!

One-Shot. 

Daddy misses you. He wants that pretty pussy after you teased him on Zoom and FaceTime 😛💦 you coming to give him some of that pussy? 😏

You blew into the gold party horn in the webcam of your zoom call with your boyfriend, Erik, who is away for business in NYC. Erik covered his ears with a big, dimpled smile on his face. It was 12 AM where he was and 9 PM where you were. To get as close to your boyfriend as possible, you changed the background of your zoom call into a picture collage that you created. It’s all of your favorite pictures of Erik with a cute chocolate chip cookie frame. On your head is a gold party hat and you are wearing one of his favorite black hoodies. 

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY!!! I love youuuuuuuu.” 

You make a heart shape with your hand before blowing him a few kisses.

“Thank you, beautiful, I love you too. This really means a lot right now. You called me at a good time too because I just got finished looking over this info for work. You are so fucking adorable look at that smile. And the background?! Damn, baby!!”

“Yessss I had to do it up for my baby!!” 

“This is the best happy birthday I received so far. It really sucks that I’m all the way here in NYC when I could be there with you.”

Erik’s kimono beads started vibrating and the patterns along the beads ignited an electric blue color. 

“It’s my auntie calling, baby girl. Let me take this.” 

“Take your time, I have to go do something real quick. I'll be back.” 

“Don’t be gone too long now!” Erik yelled into the zoom call before a holographic image of his Aunt Ramonda popped up. 

“Happy Birthday my handsome nephew!” 

“Thanks, auntie. I miss you.” 

“I miss you too, Daka. How is it in New York.” 

“Cold. T’Challa should be here later on today.”

“Are you going to rest and put off work for later? I hope so. This is your special day today.”

“Birthdays are just like any other day except I’m older.”

“Still, I want you to enjoy yourself. I’ll let you go, love you.” 

“Love you too, auntie.” 

When you came back Erik could hear you moving in the background but he couldn’t see you. You turned your camera off. 

“Babe? Why is your camera off?” He asked. 

“One second!!” 

“What are you up to now woman?!!” 

Erik stands from the couch in his hotel suite. He picks up his Macbook and the care package you sent him, taking it all with him into his room. Sitting everything on the bed, Erik takes off his hoodie, bare chest exposed now. His body is really filling out with all the training he’s been doing. It felt good for him to get back in the gym. 

“Baby...come on now, I’m tryna see that beautiful face.”  Erik said while staring at a black screen. 

“I told you I have another surprise for you.” 

Erik smirks before taking a seat on his bed. He has to angle his laptop up so she can see him better. He ruffles his locs as he waits patiently for you to appear again. 

“Baby—oh, damn.” 

You went all out for Erik. You’re wearing a piece from the new Savage Fenty collection. It’s a yellow amber, long-sleeve lace slip featuring a sexy keyhole cut out in the front. It came with a matching thong. It’s very revealing so Erik can see your breasts. You pose for him and twirl around with your ass poked out. He had this mesmerized look in his eyes with a smirk that showed a single deep dimple. 

“Mmm, spin around again...oh my God, baby.” 

“You love it? I know how much you love yellow on my skin.”

“I love it and I want to undress you with my hands not my eyes,” He looked you up and down with those beautiful brown eyes of his, “bend that ass over really quick—fuck.” 

You giggle at his words of appreciation for your body. He always hyped you up but each time felt like the first. You are his baby after all. 

“Somebody getting thick on me hold the fuck  up,” Erik laughs, “I don’t remember that ass sitting up and poking out like that! How did you get that ass like that, baby? Tell me.” 

“You already know why, Erik, stop,” you blush. 

“Nah, I want you to tell me why. It’s my birthday after all.”

“Quarantine fifteen!!” You said. 

“Nope. It’s the different positions, especially the back shots. Hitting that ass hard from the back got your cheeks looking like a big ass chocolate cake.”

“You really think that sex made me get thick? I have been getting back in the gym too.” 

“I mean...all of that plays a factor,” Erik licked his lips, “But all we’ve been doing for the past year is fucking. Nothing but sex. So I don’t know why I’m just noticing this now. That ass is fat mama.” 

“Mmm...I wish you could feel how soft it is too.” You said with a sultry voice. 

“Shit, me too. Bend over again….mmm...so sexy. Starting my day off with a bang.” 

“Open your package baby!”

You take a seat and watch Erik open his package that you sent him. When he finally got the box open, he smiled at you with a shake of his head. 

“The apple juice, baby? Really? my favorite.”

Erik shows you the two Martinelli’s Apple juices. 

“What else...ha, no you didn’t, let’s hope Boomer doesn't get to these.” 

It's a pair of men’s Ugg slippers. Boomer, Erik’s dog, chewed up his last pair. 

“Chocolate chip cookies!!! From Gooey On The Inside!!!” He instantly opened the pack up, “Baby. I was craving these cookies too. You’re a mind reader.” 

“I contacted her personally and I had them added to your package. You have one last thing in there, babe.” 

Erik pulls out a bottle of Hennessy. 

“I figured we can turn up together on zoom and you know...do other things.” 

“Other things? What’s that, baby?” 

You stand up and take off your panties. 

“Since I can’t be there to give you birthday sex in person...I figured we could do it together on zoom.”

The WIFI started acting up and your video froze. 

“Shit—babe?” 

“Yeah—can you see me clear now.” 

You came back into focus. 

“Yeah, I can see you,” Erik smiles. 

You started having a giggle fit and Erik looked at you with a confused expression on his face.

“Wait...did you start drinking without me? How turnt up are you right now?”

“I just had a few sips that’s all!”

“Nah, that’s a fucking yes. You’re turnt I don’t wanna hear that.” 

“Stop,” you whimper.

“Fuck, I miss you so much.” Erik said. 

“Me too.” 

You both stared at each other before you broke eye contact. 

“I would have you in my lap right now like I always do...my hand between your legs...fingers in your pussy.” 

“Mm,” you bite your lip, “I wish you could do that right now.” 

Erik pulled on the crotch of his grey sweatpants. He could feel himself growing thick and the sound of your voice coming out of the speakers had him imagining you there whispering and moaning in his ear. 

“What I wouldn’t give to fuck you right now.” He said. 

“Have you been stroking your dick since you’ve been away from me?” 

“Honestly...yes. I mean...you’re not here to take care of me so I gotta do it myself...have you been fingering your pussy since daddy isn’t there to do it?”

“Uh-huh...I wanna fuck you so good right now.”

“Woah,” Erik chuckles, “I know you would, baby. I’d fuck you good too.” 

“Baby...I wanna make you cum right now,” You moan.

“You gotta show me that pussy first.” 

You slowly lay back against the bed, spreading your thighs. Erik stares between your legs at your pussy barely covered in that yellow amber thong, your pussy lips begging to be free. Daddy’s favorite honey pot. It’s been days since he had that pussy in his mouth and resting on his tongue. 

“What I wouldn’t give to rip that thong with my teeth and put my face in your pussy.” 

“It’s crazy wet for you.” 

“Let me see,” He whispered. 

You tease him and show him just a little. 

“Nah, I wanna see that whole pussy. You’re not being very fair for my birthday, mama.”

Closing your thighs. You take your time and perform a little strip tease for him. You bring your legs up, your panties following the same trail before you kick them off. Your hand covers your pussy before you use your fingers to spread your lips for him to see.

“Oh, my God—

“I told you I was wet.”

“Stick a finger inside I wanna hear it.” 

Erik turns up his volume. You stick your middle finger inside and start wiggling it back and forth. Erik grabs his erection through his sweatpants and squeezes it. He was pulsating. 

“Fuck. It’s so creamy, baby. I wish I had that sweet pussy instead of these cookies.”

“Daddy...why aren’t you touching yourself?” 

“Ha, I’m sorry, baby…I got you...”

Erik lifts his hips from the bed and pushes his sweatpants down to his ankles. He wasn’t wearing any briefs. If he could be naked all day he would. He exhaled and threw his head back as soon as his hand wrapped around his thickness. 

“I haven’t sucked that dick in so long...I forgot how it feels to stretch my mouth around that fat dick.” 

“Would you be able to handle the way I fuck your mouth?” Erik asked. 

“I’m so hungry for your dick I’ll let you use my throat however you like.” 

Erok looked at his dick, “My shit is hard as fuck.” 

“I wish I could sit on it, mmm, it’s just missing my pussy for me to sit on.” 

“Why are you so far away?” 

Erik couldn’t take it. Both of you breathed heavily in the camera, caressing your own bodies, watching each other. 

“I want you to rub your clit.”

Your fingers started circling over your clit. With your other hand you pull your breasts out of your lace teddy for him to see. 

“You gotta get closer to the camera so I can see your pussy better...that’s it...no spread your legs down more...goddamn, ma. If I could lick this screen and taste that pussy I would.”

His dick was massive in the camera. He had to push it back to get the entire shaft in view. His dick was standing straight up and you wished you were there to really give him the best birthday treat ever. Your mouth and pussy. 

“You wouldn’t even have to do anything, daddy, I’ll ride that dick for your birthday.” 

“Nah...you know I can’t let you have all the fun. They have the best view with big windows. I was beating my dick last night to the thought of you pressed against the window…me fucking you from behind...pulling your hair.” 

“I want you to do that to me so bad,” You moaned, “Let me get my vibrator, I’ll be right back.” 

Still stroking his dick, Erik watches as you walk out of frame. He smacked his dick against his open palm before dragging his thumb over his wet tip. You finally came back with a vibrator Erik hadn’t seen before. It’s a clitoral pump vibrator with a fake tongue attachment and a g spot vibrator on the other end. It’s purple and pink with a suction attachment. Erik and yourself have used clitoral suckers plenty of times so you detach it from the vibrator so you can see how the oral sex stimulating tongue works. 

“When did you get that?” He asked 

“It came a few days ago...I waited until now to open it so I can use it while you watch.” 

“Hmm, all for me?”

“Always,” you get back into position and turn on the vibrator. The tongue starts wiggling up and down slowly but when you went through more levels it started flicking so fast it created a blur. 

“Dayummm, I can’t wait to see you put that thing on your clit. I already know you’re about to cum fast.” 

You dragged the vibrator up your leg and then you gently pressed the vibrating tongue against your pussy. Instantly your toes curl and you start to tremble. 

“FUCK!” You shout, hips twisting from side to side. 

“You’re making my dick drool baby omg...mmm...mmm...mmm...looks so tasty...pretty pussycat baby...keep that vibrator on your clit don’t you fucking stop...how do you want it baby? You want me to fuck you with that vibrator on your clit?”

“Yes, daddy!” 

Your hips lift from the bed. It was too much. As soon as you fell back against the bed your pussy started leaking. Thank god you put a towel down because your squirt came out like a fountain. 

“I told you that pussy was gonna cum fast,” Erik groped his balls, “I’ll lick all that mess up off your thighs and then eat that beautiful pussy.” 

“I can’t take it anymore—

“Nah, I want you to fuck that pussy with the other end.” 

“Daddy—

“Nope. Do what the fuck I tell you. I may not be there in person but that doesn’t mean you do what you want. Fuck your pussy now.” 

“Unh,” you turn around with your ass in the camera and push the vibrator inside of you. 

“Oooo—

“Fuck that toy. Say my name and fuck that toy.” 

You go to town on your pussy, thrusting it inside of you. 

“That shit feels good, don’t it?” 

“Yesssssss, it’s so so so GOOD!”

“That fine ass getting pounded when I see you.” 

“Please, daddy, I wish you were here to fuck me.” 

“Ughhh,” Erik went back to pumping his dick, “I’m a stroke you real good and hit that spot over and over again.”

“Unh—

“Work that fucking pussy baby, damn you’re making a mess all over that toy...cream is just dripping all over it...fuckkkkkk…I want your pussy so bad.”

“Baby—“

“You warming that pussy up for me? Are you practicing for when I get home? You know what I would do? I would get in that ass while you fuck your pussy.”

“I’m gonna cum—oh my god, daddy—I’m gonna—

Your entire body trembled and that ass started bouncing and moving like a tidal wave. 

“That big ass girl—SHIT!”

Erik’s cum landed on his laptop screen. His balls must have been fully loaded because the more he jerked himself, the more cum spurted out. He let go of his dick and small droplets of cum stained his sheets. He didn’t know if he had another nut in him. 

“Babe, I’ll be right back. I gotta clean off this screen.” 

Erik stood up with his dick swinging between his legs. He walked over to his hotel dresser and grabbed some tissue. When he came back you were on your back with your legs stretched open. 

“That’s so purrrrrdy,” He said before laughing. 

“Thank you. Wanna go for round two?” 

“One second, babe. I am drained.” 

“Oh? That 34 year old body can’t hang anymore, huh?”

“Jokes.” 

“It’s okay...we have all day.” 

“Yes, we do.” 

Erik throws away the dirty tissue. 

“I miss you.” 

Erik gives you an air kiss, “I miss you too, baby.”

“Grab some water and we can—

The video ended. 

“Seriously?” Erik tried calling back on zoom but it kept on ringing, “What the fuck not right now.” 

Erik could hear his phone ringing. He funded it on the bed and it’s you face timing him. As soon as he answered it your pussy was in his face. 

“Damn girl,” Erik flicked his tongue at his phone, “that peach fuzz is sexy too keep it just like that when I get there...all that beautiful pussy gotdayummmmm.” 

“Let’s finish what we started?” Your face came into view and you winked at him. 

“Shit, my dick is still hard, I'm ready.” 

You slide three fingers inside your pussy with your phone angled as if Erik is laying down looking up at you.

“You did that on purpose...that’s how you want me? On my back and you sit on my face? Let that cum drip in my mouth?” 

“Mhm, I wanna cum all in your mouth, daddy.” 

Erik stood up from his bed while his phone rested on the bed. All you could see was his balls hanging in your face and his long, fat dick swinging. 

“I’m not pulling out that pussy when I see you.” 

You were driving him crazy and he was getting pissed off that you weren’t by his side right now taking his dick. Instead, he has to settle for a video call. It’s nothing like having pussy up close and in your face. Nothing like tasting, touching, and fucking the real thing. He wanted to pack his shit and catch a late flight out of NYC just so he can bury himself inside of you. He would drop his bags off at the door, grab your hips, bend you over, get down on his knees, and suck on your pussy from the back. Then, he would bend you over the couch and long stroke your pussy from behind with a handful of titties. 

“Fuck,” Erik’s hand went faster on his dick, his balls feeling the impact of his hand as he stroked downward, “Ima bust all in your pussy when I see you...wash my face with that pretty pussy baby...that’s all I want for my birthday...fucking you...all night long...FUCKKKK.” 

Erik jerked his dick right on his phone screen and all that cum landed on your pussy. 

“Daddy!” 

You rub your clit back and forth, that pussy contracting. You fell back against the bed and lifted your fingers from your pussy. 

“Fuck, that was so good,” You suck your fingers.

Erik grabs his phone and walks to the bathroom. Flicking the light switch, Erik turned on the sink and grabbed a folded washcloth to clean off his phone screen.

“You had me cumming on my laptop, and you had me cumming on my phone.” 

“But did you enjoy it?” 

“Of course. I need a rewind option that shit was everything.”

Erik propped his phone up against the wall and started looking at himself in the mirror. He shook his head, his tapered locs falling against his forehead. 

“You look so good. I can’t wait to see you.” You said with your eyes traveling over the length of his body. 

“Soon, baby...real soon…” 

____________

Taking his aunties advice, Erik pushed back a meeting for the opening of an Outreach Center in Manhattan for the next day. Erik woke up to multiple texts and missed calls from friends and family wishing him happy birthday. Even on social media he was tagged in plenty of pictures and videos. Of course, you made a long post about him with all the embarrassing photos of him caught off guard or sleeping. The last picture was his favorite. It’s a picture of you and him on vacation in Hawaii on a yacht. You both shared a kiss showing lots of tongue. 

Danielle_93: Happy birthday Erik! 🎉

BrysonWilliams: Happy Birthday Bro! 💪🏾

Monibaby: Awww y’all are so cute!!! ❤️

There were many more comments and mentions. Erik shared a few posts to his IG story and left it at that for the time being. T’Challa sent him a text letting him know that he landed and he would see him later. Erik was on his way back from the hotel gym when he noticed food, and a few gift bags outside of his door. He figured it was from some friends that live in NYC. Erik opened his hotel room door and picked up all his gifts, carrying them inside. He placed them on the coffee table in the living room area and peeked inside the food bag. Birria tacos and a burrito. He was hungry too. Grabbing the bag, Erik walks through the dark hotel room towards the kitchen. A faint glow came from the kitchen and Erik paused his footsteps. Confused, Erik crept up and peeked his head inside. 

There, on the kitchen counter is a triple chocolate layer cake with a 3 and a 4 candle on top. Maybe room service brought it in for him. Erik placed the bag of Mexican food on the counter and sauntered towards the cake. He could see cursive letters in yellow frosting on top. Erik read the words and a smile slowly crept up his face. This day just keeps getting better and better. 

Happy Birthday Baby. Love, Y/N.

“It’s your favorite.” 

Erik looked over his shoulder and there you were, wearing the Facet lingerie he gifted you. It’s see-through mesh in brown, with a plunging neckline and a high crotch. The gleam of the candles made your gorgeous brown skin stand out. Your hair is stilled in a natural fro and you’re wearing that brown matte lipstick Erik loves. 

“Happy birthday, baby.” 

You wrap your arms around his shoulders and press the front of your body against his. 

“This was your plan all along, huh?” 

“It was hard to keep it from you. I flew in with T’Challa. He dropped me off here as soon as you left your room for the gym. I got a room key, let myself in, and waited for you to come back.”

“Mmm, baby,” Erik placed your hands in his and stepped back to get a good look at you, “You look so sexy.”

Erik held your hand up and spun you around so he could see every angle. As soon as your back faced him, Erik took his hand and popped you right on the cuff of your left ass cheek so he could watch it wobble. 

“Soft and phat.” Erik whispered in your ear from behind. 

“Do you like your cake? It’s your favorite.” 

Erik brought his attention back to his cake, took his finger and scooped up some frosting. He sucked the frosting off of his finger and licked his lips. 

“I love both of my cakes.”

You bend over the counter and start whining your hips. Erik focused on the way your beautiful ass swayed and how the yellow hue of the candle light made your moisturized cheeks shine. 

“Stay just like that and bend over some more.”

“Yes Sir.” You press the front of your body against the counter top, “like this?”

“Just like that.” 

Erik grabs his cake and sits it on the counter where you are. 

“I’m gonna make a wish and blow out these candles.” 

Erik closed his eyes. His lips are slightly parted and you can see his gold canines. Sweat still coated his skin from his workout. He’s wearing a pair of black and red ball shorts with a black beater. His locks are pushed back with a black Nike athletic sweatband. How could he make going to the gym look so stylish? Erik opened his eyes and gave you a small smile. 

“What did you wish for?”

“It’s a secret,” He winked at you, “You’ve been walking around LA with that ass for these last few days haven’t you?”

Erik squinted his eyes at you playfully. 

“I have, but you know it belongs to you,” You twerk your ass, “Now, you can have it all you want.” 

“And I can eat it how I want too.” 

Erik dragged his fingers in the chocolate frosting and smeared it on your ass. He sucked his fingers off in your face before disappearing behind you. He gets down on his knees with your ass in his face and wasting no time. He starts sucking and licking the frosting off of your right butt cheek while his sticky fingers spanked your left butt cheek. 

“Unh, yes—yes, baby, that feels so good, I miss your mouth on me.” 

“You know what I want next, bring your leg up.” 

“Anything for you, daddy.”

As soon as your leg went up Erik’s fingers were hooked on the lace fabric of your lingerie and he pulled it to the side exposing your pussy. His tongue was already sweet but as soon as he poked it all the way out and licked from your pussy to your ass he got an even sweeter taste. Erik spanked you, twisting his head to suck your pussy. He was a wild man eating you. He gets so focused when he’s face deep in your pussy. Erik spread your pussy open, used the flat part of his tongue and pressed it firmly against your pussy and started moving it in a circle. Erik was disrespectfully eating your pussy and all you could do was moan and hold onto the counter. He ain’t had that pussy in his mouth for days. The way you were dripping on his tongue he couldn’t stop. This is the cake he’s trying to eat for his birthday. Smear his tongue and lips all over your pussy. 

“Erik!!!” 

You couldn’t control him. You couldn’t wait to see daddy again and he couldn’t wait to see you. 

“Fuck, Erik!!!!”

He didn’t listen. You erupted in his mouth with loud moans. 

“Daddy I can’t—I can’t—shit—I’m coming again!”

You dropped your leg and almost locked Erik’s head but he moved out of the way before you could. His beard and lips were soaked. 

“Pussy is yummy. Come taste your pussy.” 

“Mmm, I taste so sweet—daddy—“

You look down and see Erik’s shorts down and around his ankles. His dick was hanging out the bottom of his briefs. You grab him in your hand and use your thumb to rub his tip. 

“You have a lot of dick.” 

It’s long and ridiculously thick. 

“That bulge...that dick...so hot.” 

You swipe your tongue over his lips. 

“My throat is ready for you, Sir.” 

“Let’s take this shit to the bedroom, baby.” 

Erik picks you up and your legs straddle him. He walks down the hallway with his lips on yours and his hands grasping each ass cheek. There, you can see the windows he was talking about. It’s almost nightfall. Erik puts you down and you drop to your knees before him, opened your mouth wide, and stuck your tongue out. Erik smacked the weight of his dick on your tongue. That nice, big, fat, long dick. 

“I want some.” 

“It’s right here for you...have as much you want—damn, aint waste no fucking time that’s what I’m talking about get that dick.” 

You had Erik’s dick halfway down your throat with no hesitation. One hand gripping him and your mouth slurping and sucking him up and down. Erik used both of his hands to hold your head still so he can fuck your throat. You relaxed your jaws and looked up at him. Unblinking, he commanded you with his dark orbs. 

“Oh, my god, baby, you feel so fucking good, baby….oooh, just like that baby, keep sucking this big ass dick...eat that dick, baby, suck this dick off...shit feels so fucking good.” 

His words had you dripping. 

“Suck that big dick baby—Unh, shit—spit on my dick—make a big ass mess,” Erik moaned, “You wanna make me cum? If you wanna make me cum you better suck this dick—daddy can’t hold it baby—I’m a shoot it down your throat, baby, you got my dick rock hard—suck it, baby—don’t fucking stop—oh, shit.”

With one heavy fist, Erik has a handful of your hair in a vice grip. His dick convulsed in your mouth and then after a few more sucks he was busting a nut down your throat. Your hands caressed his abs to calm his body down. You knew what effect your throat skills had on him. 

“Come put that pussy in this dick, I’ve been thinking about you since last night, baby.”

You stood before Erik and he placed a hand around your throat and started kissing you. 

“Take this off...I want you naked and riding my dick…”

As you completely take off your lingerie Erik is fully naked and now he’s laying back against his bed in the middle with his dick pointing towards the ceiling. You climb up to the bed and squat down on your feet, your hands on his chest to keep your balance as you descend your pussy on his dick. 

“Damn, baby, that pussy...keep riding this dick…”

You start dropping your full weight down on Erik. It sounded like a splash park between your legs. Fuck going slow you ain’t have that dick in days. Erik’s hands were molded into your hips as you bounced up and down on him. 

“This what you wanted? To sit on this dick?”

“Ah, shit, Unh! Fuck!” 

“Answer me.” 

“Yes!”

You reach behind to feel your cheeks. They were swaying and jiggling all over the place. Erik pushed your hand away and you gripped the sheets. 

“You better keep fucking this dick or I’ll take over and fuck you.” 

He only gave you one warning. Leaning over his body you start riding him again. His dick was hitting so deep in your pussy. You moved your hips in a circle on the tip of his dick and before you could even take all of him again Erik pushed you down himself. 

“You’re tryna work me, Daddy?” You ask between deep breaths. 

“I want that puss and you keep stopping.” 

Erik lifted you off of him and stood up from the bed. 

“Bend over in front of this window...yes...put your hands against the glass and spread your legs…”

Erik smacked his dick against your ass before resting it on your back. He reached beneath you to rub your clit. 

“Think I’m playing?” Erik sucked his fingers, “Toot that ass up, Y/N...I said toot that ass up!!!” He barked out. 

“Okay!!” You try your best, “Like that—FUCK!! Dadyyyyy. You’re in my pussy, daddy.” 

“Fuck is wrong with you.”

He thrust in all at one and your cheek smashed against the glass. 

“That’s it baby...tight ass puss...I’m about to bust your shit open you better hold on fucking with me.” 

“You talk a lot of shit, birthday boy—OH MY GOD.” 

“And so do you, Hmph,” Erik pulled your hair, “This dick got you shutting the fuck up though. You kept playing on my dick, baby,” he was fucking you rough, “When I want my pussy, you don’t play games with me. For real. Fuckkkkk.” 

“My pussy—oooo—

“FUCK YES. Cum on this dick.” 

“Unh—

“Nah, get up, that’s it, arch your back.”

“Don’t stop, baby.” 

“Mhm.” 

“Yes!” 

As soon as he let that dick out you were squirting. Erik didn’t give you time to come down from your orgasmic high when he picked you up, put you on the bed, and spread your legs. 

“Let me back in there...ahhh, yes.” 

You felt hot tears roll down your face. He looked so calm and cool but his dick was hitting you hard and it was overwhelmingly good. He studied your expression and kissed you from time to time. 

“You had that pussy in face on video last night...I wanted to fuck you so bad...you knew what time it was when you came here...I was getting up in that pussy, right?”

You tried to speak but your bottom lip was trembling so much and he was making your pussy cum again. 

“You ain’t gotta say nothing just lay there and let me fuck you.” 

He started sucking on your neck while his hips stroked all that fat dick in and out of you. 

“I’m about to nut in my pussy...stay just like that...don’t you fucking move...this my pussy...I’m a be in my pussy all fucking night for my birthday...take this dick—“

Erik sat up on his hands and worked his hips faster. You couldn’t see his eyes with his locs in his face. He was too busy watching the way he fucked you. You couldn’t keep your eyes away either. So much cream. So wet and gushy. 

“Daddy, Unh, oh my god, daddy, I love you!!”

Erik pushed your thighs back and held his dick deep inside you. 

“Daddy, I love you!!!”

He chuckled and bit his lip. 

“I love you too, baby girl. Thank you for this tight pussy on my birthday.” 

The way he said that it had you squeezing his dick with your walls. 

“Let my dick go...you want some more?”

You nod your head with a pout of your lip.

“Nasty, freaky, bitch. I’ll give you some more dick.”

You couldn’t wait. 

[zalrb]

OTH 2X16 REWATCH

1. IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII DON’T WANNA BE ANYTHING OTHER THAN WHAT I’VE BEEN TRYNA BE LATELYYYYYYYYYYYY

2. How long has Keith even known Jules?

3. “Nathan, none of this means anything if I can’t share it with you” and yet you didn’t ask him to come on tour? People bring their significant others on tour all the time and I think this is what bothers me about Haley’s arc this season, because Haley is acting the way Joey acted with Dawson but their situations are completely different. Joey had been in love with Dawson for effectively her entire life and she’d been his sidekick, his sounding board, his everything so that when they finally got together, she freaks out and wants to figure out who she is without him (and she didn’t handle that well either but I could at least understand what was going on with her even if she didn’t communicate it well to Dawson). Haley and Nathan JUST got married, she even says that she’d always been the dependable one and the responsible one until she married him and she finally did something for her so there is no reason why she didn’t ask him not to come along. She also never explained why she kissed Chris, she lied about it, finally admitted it and left Nathan to go on tour the same night she admitted it and is acting super indignant that he’s not exactly thrilled and it just makes her obnoxious.

4. No but Jeyton is SUPER lusty. Like I’m sure they slept but their scene last episode ended with them making out and their first scene in this episode is them making out

5. “A lot of people miss you.” He didn’t move away. He just ... stays in his apartment in your small ass town.

6. Lmao, Deb and her pill addiction, which was done SO poorly.

7. “Emily Chambers. I haven’t even heard of you” but why would you, Karen?

8. “You’re getting real good at the moody-broody bit, aren’t you? Trying to give Lucas a run for his money.” I swear, people hardly characterize brooding properly. Nathan is WHINING.

9. LOOK AT THEM

10. Sorry but Brooke’s dress is so ugly.

11. Lucas just stays creeping around this house. Who are you, Jake last season?

12. Deb doesn’t even act differently when she’s ‘high’.

13. Aww, Andy.

14. I always find it funny when clothes are like laid perfectly neatly to indicate a sex scene.

15. BAHHHH LOOK AT THEM

16. And that’s another thing I like about Brucas and Jeyton, because of the chemistry of both ships, Hilarie and Sophia do a good job in showing that kind of giddy nervousness, heart-fluttering tension you have with someone you like

and Chad and Bryan give the steely, intense focused stare,

I’m having flashbacks to talking about the stares with my best friend at the time omg

17. Peyton and Jake were like wedding be damned, we’re going for round 2.

18. I love how Haley gets to go on tour, go on TV, have all this fanfare for one duet with Chris.

19. “This is our shot. Nothing else matters.” “Nathan matters!” “Then what are you doing here?” I mean. All the writers had to do was have her be the one asking him to come and him rejecting it.

20. Nathan doesn’t even have to change the channel to get to the one he needs, it just so happens to come on right away! At the exact right time. Haley didnt’t even tell him when she was going to be on TV.

21. Ha, Nick Zano.

22. “Well, well, my son cleans up good” nicely, Dan, your son cleans up nicely.

23. “You look amazing” he’s in a suit, Karen. Lol now I’m thinking of when I answered that ask about men in suits and I was like I watch too many kdramas to find men in suits on American TV shows sexy or dashing

24. You gave this up. FOR LEYTON.

25. Aww, I remember feeling so bad for Nathan here

26. And it’s James’ best acting so far.

27. "Sure, let me help you with that, Emily.” Karen is SO dramatic.

28. THIS DIALOGUE

29. Favourite Breyton moment.

30. LIKE

31. I don’t understand how Jules standing up Keith was a better alternative in her mind.

32. “This one’s on you” no, Dan, it’s still ALL on you since you’re the one who hired Jules in the first place.

33. I know what they were trying to do by having Lucas look at his best man speech but it just looks like he cares about it more than Keith being left at the altar.

34.You kept the ring, Jules? LOL.

35. “What have we done??” Well, Karen, you were the one who called her a whore.

36. I love how much they make Nikki a straight up villain. This is RIDICULOUS

37. I love me some Brucas but, Lucas shouldn’t you be looking for Keith? He’s your surrogate father.

[batarangsoundsdumb]

guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough

[ohayopoko]

Young Carla Jaeger Headcanons (NSFW)

Note: Y’all the next fanfic I’m working on includes Carla so I’m tryna get comfortable writing her lol

(Y’all plz listen to the song, It’s Carla’s Anthem!👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾)

-Carla was the original hot girl back in her day, couldn’t 👏🏻N O B O D Y 👏🏻 tell miss Carla a damn thang!

-She’s inked out with a black dragon tattoo on her thigh that reaches up her right ass cheek and ends at her calve.

-Carla also has a tattoo sleeve of colorful butterflies on her left arm

-Yes! Hot Girl has a tramp stamp and you already know it’s a 🍒, bitchhhh!😝

-Carla guzzles a mean dick, real definition of 🎶Throat Babyyy🎶

-Carla’s a passionate lover so you know she’s slurping them balls and licking the taint and the way she innocently looks up at ‘em with those sexy cat eyes will have that man ready to risk it all🤤

-Carla has a slick mouth and you know she’s gonna talk her shit right the fuck back 👏🏻🙅🏻‍♀️

-Of fucking course Carla was banging in her day, win or lose she was throwin’ dem bitches at any and everybody 🤙🏻💯

-Y’all think y’all finna jump on Carla? Guess what? Here come Kuchel fucking bitches up behind Carla🥳👊🏻

-Ain’t no “I don’t eat pussy,” with Carla cause when she sits back and opens her legs you better dive in the pussy like dolphins or simply drown, your choice 🤷🏻‍♀️

“Come suck this pussy like a paci,” Carla’s smirking as she pulls her legs back and rubs her beefy pussy real slow and sensual. “Promise it won’t bite.”

-Carla’s a classy gal, likes to give her pussy new hair-do’s every month. It could be landing strip this time and a heart next time- you never know with Carla💅🏻

-Hot girl likes to drive the boat, Henny, Tequila, Ciroc, Grey Goose it doesn’t matter Carla will fuckin drink it💃🏻

-Ends up in Grisha’s emergency room more than a few times due to her drinking

“Carla you only have one kidney left-“

“I’m here for a good time, not a long time now give me the fuckin pills. I’m already late for work,”

“Where you’re going to go drink again?! Carla?!”

“Listen, Grisha, I’m unfuckwitable, okay? I can’t be fucked with- now pills, bitch.”

-Kuchel is Carla’s BITCH there’s no where you’d see Kuchel and Carla wasn’t close behind 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🤞🏻💗

-Carla and Kuchel’s friendship dynamic is more like a little sister big sister dynamic since Kuchel’s a few years older

-Carla wasn’t popular but she had a good handful of friends she could count and it was always a movie when they got together

-All of her friends died young and Carla went to each and every funeral and a little piece of her died with each friend

-You know that one boy every girl would give the pussy to on a platter? For Carla that boy was Eren Kruger👅🥴

-That boy made her pussy hot every time she saw him and it didn’t matter that he was a toxic ex she couldn’t stop fucking with for the life of her🤦🏻‍♀️

-It was okay because Carla was a good looking bitch with a devilish pussy and Eren Kruger couldn’t stay away from her either😏

-Bitch you already know Carla busted that pussy open in the mall, the bar, the backseat of his car fuck, she’d bust the pussy open on the island of Waikiki if he told her to💁🏻‍♀️😜

-There was no such thing as gentle sex with Eren Kruger, it was fast, passionate and furious

-His favorite position was backshots with belt tied tight around her neck he yanked when he started drilling deep in Carla’s poor pussy💦😣

-That boy ripped her pussy open and sent her home to sew it up but Carla didn’t care cause she was in Eren’s business, in his face, on his dick the next day

-Carla never took Grisha seriously, always dubbing him whenever he tried to get on to her cause she didn’t have no time to be worrying abt his old ass

-Grisha’s determined and that’s the only reason she ever gave in (and he got money sooo👀)

-Y’all already know who she named her son after🤪

[mitts2002]

Band AU - Yuuji Itadori

Yuuji Itadori was very well known in Japan. His success had blossomed at a young age when he became the lead vocalist in a band of 8 official members. Being in the music industry was amazing for him especially the rock industry where he was able to care less about appearance and fashion and more about his music and the fans enjoyment. 

Yuuji was fortunate to have a career that seemed restricting to the public eye yet never restricted him. He could eat as much as he wanted and go out in public as long as he has some form of security. His label allowed the band to convey their musical creativity and display their individuality to the fans. Life couldn't be any better he thought.

That was until Yuuji had met you.

He always loved his record label and gave them high praise, he still does but was finally experiencing the restrictions many had spoken about. How has he just discovered the band or more specifically HE wasn't allowed to date. The poor boy couldn't even argue to his manager as he had stupidly signed the agreement without fully reading it.

“AHH WHAT DO I DO?“ Yuuji gripped his hair and cried out to his present members. 

‘well i say screw what the company says and go on a date with her right now whats the worst that can happen THEY FIRE YOU? NO ONE CAN REPLACE YUUJI KUN‘ The eldest and ironically the most childish member Gojo had advised.

“Yuuji if you take his advice for anything your destined to fail, honestly i think you should forget about her is she really that amazing“ Megumi replied without even at looking yuuji too engrossed in his food.

“HOW DARE YOU!? i will never forget my queen (Y/N) everything about her seems perfect for me. A match made in heaven! star lovers or whatever that quote is-”

“Are you tryna say star crossed lovers?” Megumi choked on his meal as he laughed at his dumb companion.

And so the whining and debating had continued going back and forth for quite a while. Some members arguing that he could hold off on love to focus on his career and others arguing that if he didn't make a stand now the company would never allow it in the future.

Eventually the group had decided that they would all visit the manager together and beg for Yuujis happiness and if that didn't work out they would threaten to leave the company for one that would allow them all to date.

Luckily for them the meeting had turned out to be shorter than expected but was lowkey embarrassing. Having 8 boys sit at a table ready to battle their manager who was actually pretty calm and agreed to the demands after 10 minutes of discussions was frustratingly anticlimactic. They had all agreed to change their contracts as long as they announce their relationships to the public eye once it becomes official to avoid conflicts meaning Yuuji had one thing left to do.

Actually ask (Y/N) out on a date!

(Y/N) obviously said yes to the adorable pink haired vocalist but the pair couldn't go out together in public so they decided to have the date at Yuujis place. You looked around the dorms which had a homely feeling and was nicely decorated with ornaments from tours, awards and many photos of the members.

"So yuuji what do you wanna- is that a karaoke machine!?" (Y/N)'s eyes sparkled at the little machine tucked away in the corner of the room.

"Ah yeah me and the guys love karaoke, I can set it up if you'd like but let's eat first you must be hungry"

"Oooh did you cook?"

"Yep and I kinda got carried away so please eat as much as you want"

"Alright then I have a big appetite so I don't plan on holding back"

(Y/N) didn't hold back and after the pair eventually finished all of the food and cleaned the kitchen the karaoke machine was calling their names.

"What song should we sing then?? I'm thinking some classic rock or maybe Mariah Carey they're always fun to attempt"

"(Y/N) were gonna absolutely ruin Mariah Carey songs if we do that....but that's the whole point of karaoke I guess LETS DO IT!!"

"Gosh don't scream into the mic were gonna start hearing the neighbours complain"

"Trust me babe the neighbours are gonna complain after they hear your voice" Yuuji smirked before getting smacked with a pillow

"Okay mister LEAD VOCALIST let's see if you can handle mariah"

"I CAN DO MORE THAN HANDLE HER"

"Ew don't say it like that it sounds weird"

They both laughed as the classic we belong together started playing. Yuuji for a vocalist surprisingly couldn't handle the notes at the end of the song and (Y/N)s performance was just tradgic, but they had fun and giggled and took way too many videos of the little karaoke night.

By the end of it Yuuji was sprawled against the table snacks and empty glasses surrounded him while (Y/N) layed on the sofa panting.

"I've never met someone who can sing so good yet so fucking bad at the same time"

"OH SHUT UP I was obviously dialing it down so your vocals could shine and even then they couldn't"

"Dont tease me! My singing was fine Mariah could never"

"Yea yea well how long is it gonna be till your brother gets here"

"He said he's 5 minutes away so I better grab my things"

A silence had fallen upon you both as yuuji handed over your jacket and you adjusted your crossbody bag.

"I had fun tonight. With you"

"Me too yuuji we should do this again sometime"

"Really! Whew I'm relieved I would love to go on some more dates but I wasn't quite sure how you felt"

"I feel like any girl who is asked out by you should feel blessed. Do you know how adorable and charming you are yuuju?" (Y/N) raised her eyebrow and yuuju giggled with a slight blush.

"I'm not adorable (Y/N) your meant to think I'm sexy" he whined out before realising what was said.

"WAIT NO I DIDNT MEA-"

"Who said I don't think your sexy Yuuji. A person can be cute and sexy at the same time"

A notification appeared on (Y/N)s phone displaying her brother had arrived and was waiting outside.

"I'll walk you to the car then"

"Such a gentlemen! And thanks for all this yuuji can't wait for our next date"

(Y/N) Slowly leaned in giving Yuuji a soft kiss to his cheek before walking out to the car. Yuuji also couldn't wait for his next date, plans and ideas already springing to mind.

[alice-dont-break]

hello this is shameless smut pls enjoy!! kinda fluffy and oops sorry idk how to write smut for them without giving ant a little bit of top energy

cw: post-pregnancy body insecurity at first and then just filth

Every Inch | Janthony Smut

When Anthony got home from work, he first found his 6-week old baby sound asleep in the bassinet in the living room. He smiled, but tiptoed upstairs immediately because despite wanting to stare at her cute little face, waking her would be disturbing the rare peace and quiet his wife was surely savoring. When he got upstairs and entered the bedroom, he found a pile of Jasmine’s clothes on the floor and a light on in the bathroom. Intrigued, he peeked his head past the door and laid eyes on the most stunning silhouette he’d ever seen.

Jasmine was standing in front of the mirror, fully undressed, looking over her shoulder at her reflection.

“Wow,” he breathed, getting her attention.

“Oh, hey sorry,” she said. She hugged herself and reached past him for the robe hanging off the door, but he gently caught her wrist. He stepped her away from the door, and took in the delicious sight in front of him.

“Damn, baby, why would you ever say sorry for giving me a look at this work of art. You admiring yourself... can I join?”

“You can stay but I’m not admiring,” she mumbled, rolling her eyes. She tried to twist away, but Anthony grasped her other hand.

“Hm?” He didn’t want to push her, but he couldn’t ignore the sadness in her eyes.

“I’m just... I don’t feel sexy anymore. Ever. This is so stupid but I literally made my mom watch bubba for an hour today so I could go to Victoria’s Secret and even with brand new sexy lingerie I felt disgusting. Do I even turn you on anymore? We haven’t done anything since...” Her voice was weak and shaky, and her lips were tightly pursed.

“Baby... baby girl you turn me on like crazy. God, look at you... you’re the sexiest woman I’ve ever seen,” he crooned. “I just didn’t wanna rush or hurt you, but I hate that you aren’t seeing what I see. Can I show you babe?”

Jasmine furrowed her brow, but reluctantly nodded. Anthony then led her by the hand back to the mirror, where he wrapped his arms around her waist from behind. He nuzzled up to her shoulder as they both looked at her reflection. As Anthony looked her up and down, his eyes smouldered with lust.

“God, where do I even begin,” he groaned. “I mean, the easiest is your face. Your eyes just stun me, whether they’re soft and you’re laughin’ or looking at our baby, or piercing like your mad or tryna rile me up.”

Jasmine’s cheeks had flushed red and she tried to look away, only to be brought back to center by Anthony’s thumb on her chin.

“Your skin,” he continued while caressing her cheek with the back of his hand, “just flawless.”

She leaned into his touch and let a weak smile escape.

“Mmm and your lips, baby,” he smiled. He cupped her chin with his fingers and brushed over her supple lips with his thumb. He was dying to kiss her, but knew once he started he’d never stop, and there was too much more he wanted to say.

“Your hair, your curls... gorgeous through every state of being.” He smiled into the side of her head, inhaling the scent of her shampoo, then nipped at her ear and trailed kisses down her jaw and neck.

“And your neck,” he whispered, sending chills down her spine, “because it lets me get the sexiest moans from you.” Proving his point, he sunk his teeth into the tender flesh, hard enough to melt her without really hurting, and she threw her head back against his shoulder as a soft gasp escaped her parted lips.

He chuckled into her collarbone, and continued exploring her skin with his mouth and hands, covering every inch of her upper back, shoulders, and chest with attention. Jasmine was fully flushed with a little bit of self consciousness, but also awareness of the heat growing between her legs. His hand wandered back down from her shoulders to her waist to pull her back flush against his chest, before roaming back up to cup her breasts.

“God, and these... Jas you know I’ve always been an ass guy, and trust me we’ll get to that, but I’ve never seen anything sexier than these tits ever since you were pregnant. They’re so big... huge... and I love how just a little attention like this,” he mumbled as he circled his fingers around her nipples with a slight pinch, “gets such a reaction... god Jasmine I could spend all day just working your tits.”

As he talked, he was kneading the tender flesh with the palms of his hands and kissing her shoulders, and Jasmine could have sworn she was going to start dripping down her inner thigh. Her buds were pebbled and she writhed under his touch as he brushed over them.

“And baby, I know you’ve been self conscious about this area,” he said more softly, letting his hands slide down her waist and hips to land just where her baby bump had been only a month ago. He peppered kisses to the seam of her neck and shoulder as he rubbed his thumbs over her hip bones. “These curves are a work of art. Your shape is stunning, Jas, it’s so sexy whether you’re a million months pregnant, one week post-baby, or whatever else. I like having something to grab, too, but don’t think I haven’t noticed your abs comin’ back.” he winked with another soft bite to her earlobe and a squeeze around her hips.

Jasmine was leaning against him now with her head thrown back on his shoulder, as his mouth, his raspy voice, his touch all left her trembling. He took his chance to turn her sideways to face him and reached down to grab her ass with both hands.

“God, this ass, baby... ugh it’s just so fucking sexy. The way it’s so perfectly tight and round, especially when you wear them jeans I like, but then bounces when I’m fuckin’ up into you... or when I’m taking you from behind with my fiery handprints all over...”

Anthony was testing his own patience now, and cut himself off with another bite to her shoulder. He gestured for her to jump up and hoisted her so her legs were wrapped around his waist and his hands were gripping her thighs.

“Your legs baby, they’re so strong and toned, and even though you’re short enough to tuck right into my side, they look long and sexy and I just want to mark em all up your inner thighs... show anyone who dares to look at you in a tight lil skirt that you’re mine.”

While he spoke, he carried her slowly out of the bathroom and over to the bed. The whole way, she could feel his hardened bulge pressing against her, and was sure there would be a wet patch where her core met his waist.

When he reached the bed, he dropped her down and hovered overtop so he could whisper in her ear. “Now can I show you the next part of you I think is sexy?” He rasped. Jasmine was breathless, and could only nod eagerly. After a chaste peck to her lips, Anthony sank down to rest between her thighs, which he spread open with his hands splayed across her caramel skin.

“Mmm, this pussy,” he growled against the meeting of her leg and her mound, letting the vibration of his words send shockwaves through her already electrified body. “Always so wet and needy for me. God look at you baby, you’re fucking soaked already, hm? All for me?”

Jasmine nodded and moaned a “yes”, as Anthony chuckled.

Slowly, he prodded his tongue to part her folds, and licked a slow stripe all the way up. The sound she made was slow, husky and pained. She was already aching for more. “Your taste, babe, your juices are the sweetest damn taste in the world.”

He continued to take his time, drawing long strokes and tasting every inch of her core, until his tongue started circling her entrance. As soon as it poked inside, her hips bucked, begging for more, though a whimper was all she could muster. He used one finger to gather her juices, then slowly pressed inside.

“So fucking tight, soft walls squeeze me so tight, even when you’re nearly screamin’ and you’re asking if it’s too much, you take me so, so good baby.”

“Another,” she moaned loudly, “please.” Anthony smirked and happily obeyed, adding a second finger to her wetness.

He thrust slowly in and out, before pausing to scissor his digits and feel the stretch of her velvet insides. Her breath hitched with every movement and he wondered how much longer she could last.

“Baby hold it together, I haven’t even gotten to the best part. The sexiest part of this perfect pussy is this adorable little bud,” he grinned, leaning forward to press a soft kiss to her clit.

“Ant,” she breathed desperately.

“So sweet, so sexy the sounds I can get out of you with just the slightest touch,” he said. Anthony pointed his tongue and started flicking the sensitive area, as his fingers continued to probe deep inside. “Seriously the cutest little thing I’ve ever played with.”

“Anthony,” she moaned again, her voice growing more ragged and hungry with his every move.

“Mhmm baby... and the sexiest thing of all, my love, is how you look when you come undone.”

He heard the faintest gasp escape her lips, so with a final smirk he wrapped his lips around her swollen bud and suckled lightly as he curled his fingers deep inside her. With his free hand, he reached up and rolled her hard nipple between his fingers, as her moans became more like screams. Within seconds he felt her soft walls tighten around his fingers, and her thighs lift up off the bed.

“Ant I’m gonna... I’m gonna...”

“I’ve got you,” he purred, “come for me, princess. I’ve got you.”

Jasmine fell apart. Every sliver of tension that had been building for the past two months came undone as a wave of fire ravaged her senses. Her back arched and her head flopped back with a loud and luscious sigh, as her pussy fluttered around Anthony’s fingers. He continued gentle kitten licks to her most sensitive area as his fingers lazily moved to ride her through her high. Suddenly, Jasmine felt a massive release and Anthony felt a flood wash over his fingers and chin. He was entranced by the effect he had on her body, continuing to press with his fingers, and let his tongue roam downward to taste her juices, until Jasmine was fully limp beneath him.

When he was certain there were no more aftershocks to rock her, he pressed a final kiss to her warmth and climbed back up to hover over her face. With both hands cupping her cheeks, he leaned down to kiss her forehead tenderly.

“Did I...” she asked timidly between heavy pants. Her cheeks were flushed red, and Anthony added to their warmth with soft, wet kisses.

“Squirt? Yep,” he smirked, obviously proud of the new level of pleasure he’d unlocked for her. “That was new... and maybe the sexiest thing I’ve ever witnessed.”

“Ant that... that was... oh my god.... i need to...” As she struggled to form sentences, she seemed to be making a move to repay the favor, but Anthony just put a firm hand on her shoulder.

“You aren’t going anywhere, babe,” he teased. “You look so utterly fucked out that I’m genuinely worried you may have trouble walking all week despite not actually having had a cock inside you.”

Jasmine’s eyes were still slightly rolling to the back of her head, so Anthony just chuckled at her grumbles and gave her a chaste kiss. “Stay here, love, gonna get you a cloth. You’re literally soaked in your own cum.”

“Later... show you lingerie... s’new,” she murmured.

“Whenever you’re ready love, but not before a nap. Besides, as excited as I am to see it, I don’t know how you could possibly get any sexier.”

Instead of protesting as she did earlier, she looked up at Anthony with a faint, adorable little smile that warmed his heart.

When he got back from the bathroom only twenty seconds later, Jasmine’s eyes were closed with her mouth hanging open just slightly. He couldn’t help but chuckle at how absolutely worn out she was, so he just let her sleep. As the mother of a six-week old baby, she needed it with or without a mind-blowing orgasm. After using the warm cloth to wipe down her thighs and through her folds, he grabbed a blanket to drape over them as he laid on his side and pulled her close. With a quick glance at the baby monitor to ensure the little one was continuing to cooperate with his unplanned mission, he leaned his forehead against her temple and peppered little kisses to her cheeks as her heavy breath lulled him into a trance. He rubbed the soft skin at her waist as he kept pulling her tighter into his side, and focused on giving her all his warmth, comfort and attention, with the hope that she’d be at least slightly coherent again when she woke up.