#and i picked up stuff from those 3 a lot. i picked up some frankly Too Much taste for unique peculiarities in writing from anne rice

[mejomonster]

If our writing is to a degree the influence of what we have read, I'd like to know particularly what fucking authors I read that rubbed off on me that I write the particular way I do.

I Know to a degree Edgar Allen Poe has got to be why I do the particular emotional descriptions and specifically poetically rhythmic sentence choices. He did this thing of sentences breaking in places to feel like poetry almost, and I definitely picked that up at age 12 and never stopped.

But I also got into this specific habit of going not just biased pov third person (which plenty of authors I most enjoy tend to do), but also this sort of very thought-heavy biased pov where I don't tell the reader all thoughts but what I write is a hint to what's not said, and i write emotionality of the pov (again a lot like poe I know I picked up some word choice and sentence style from him) but it doesn't say it all it sort of makes a shape. I cannot figure out what writers I picked it up from. Maybe some fanfic writers I liked? I know at some point mid college, I swung from writing Really Minimalistic to enjoying going in DEEP into each scene to enjoy and savor it. And that's when those sections went from same style but curt, to very in depth and scenes got 5 pages long when they used to be 1 page. But I can't think at the moment of who writes like that.

Also, the emotional biased unreliable way I do description is something I can see I was doing all through High school, very early, so I picked that up from something I read probably soon after poe. Really early on.

[absolutebl]

There was a surprising amount of sex in Be Mine Superstar! I really wasn’t expecting it…. Similarly, Love Syndrome had a LOT less sex than I was promised by the trailer…

Are there any BLs that had either many more or many less NC scenes than you were expecting before you started watching them?

BLs that exceeded (or underperformed) sexy expectations

Interesting question. So far, not that many Thai BLs. But I think that's just because I pay attention to the pairs and the actors in Thai stuff, and you sort of get a feel for what they will (and won't) take on. So in your examples: I know JaFirst did high heat so I expected the producers to lean into that advantage as part of BMSS because, frankly, it didn't have much else going for it.

I haven't watched Love Syndrome III yet but knowing Frank I wouldn't expect it to go super high heat in terms of actual physical contact.

I guess the ones that have surprised me are mostly out of Thailand are pulps that I knew nothing about going in. Let me see...

Thai BL that ended up being way hornier/better than I expected

Secret Crush On You - such a weird show but BillySeng brought IT, whatever IT is, they got it.

Love in Translation - yeah, what happened in that sauce isle boys? Very saucy. Whatever pun, more please.

2 Moons 3 - about on par with ForthBeam from 2 Moons 2 but nothing else in the previous 2 series would lead one to expect the horny we got in this show on the main.

Second Chance - yeah it was a throw away pulp and this studio is hit or miss on chemistry but it had one of the best kisses of its year.

Big Dragon - I don't know what I expected form the trailers, but it wasn't as good as it turned out to be. Don't get me wrong, the rest of the show is naff, but the chemistry/heat levels are scorching.

Ghost Host, Ghost House - generally the horror stuff doesn't do chemistry well, but these two have some of the best chemistry EVER put into a pulp. I really hope we see more of them.

KinnPorsche - It's no secret I'm not as wild about this show as most, but I did think the VegasPete stuff was unexpectedly killer in all ways.

Oh My Sunshine Night - yeah it was exactly what one expects from OhmFluke but THE SIDES!!!! I mean... WHAT? I'm not mad, just pleasantly surprised.

TharnType - Okay but remember at the time what we'd had from Mame was LBC (relatively low heat) and other Thai stuff I was familiar with at the time was Make It Right, Love Sick, SOTUS, and UWMA. TT was way higher heat that I'd seen from Thailand before. And then...

Why R U? - ZeeSaint's "away trip to the beach" full on sex scenes plus repping for verse was just crazy at the time. Especially since Saint played Pete in LBC before this and Zee was new to BL. Add that to the very odd and disjointed (and miss-matched) SaifahZon counter story and WRU? was this insane all over the place viewing experience, including the heat levels. There was this "what will they do next?" kind of tension over the production. Not the story (because who was following that?) but the PRODUCTION. At the time, it was welcome, but truly bonkers. What a way to drive narrative tension... pure high heat chaos.

Thai BLs where chemistry failed meet my (relatively low) expectations

My Ride - honestly, if they had just gotten the kiss right this might even have earned a 10/10 from me

Unforgotten Night - ugh

Bite Me - double ugh

Friend Forever - I know I'm the only person who watched this but why could we not have gotten ONE kiss from the leads?

Nitman - studies have since shown us it is entirely not Noh's fault... see Oh My Sunshine Night

Wedding Plan - the leads were fine, but Mame usually fails me in every way except chemistry, so "fine" is not up to her usual standards. Those standards being predominantly "they hawt together" and nothing else. There wasn't even a side dish couple to pick up the slack noodle... so to speak.

Korean BL

For most of 2022 I was consistently getting surprised by Korean BL's chemsitry when it was good but now I've settled into half expecting it yet still being delighted when it happens and is well done.

I do think Semantic Error was a bit of a seed change for them.

The problem is, now we know they can do it, we are starting to get pissed when it's bad or entirely absent.

Taiwanese BL

Taiwan is the opposite of Korea.

I expect good chemistry and almost always always get it. I struggle to think of a time when they've disappointed me (in this arena). Maybe a few? But I tend to cut Taiwan more slack than other countries because they have so few BLs and they are generally so consistent. If they falter at all, at least the side couple will pick up the slack.

Japanese BL

I have no expectations of Japan. Life as a BL fan is a lot easier that way.

(source)

[atthebell]

do you have any recommendations/resources to learn spanish?? i've been using busuu for about 104 days now, imo opinion it's actually pretty fun and i like it but i think my main problem with it is that it goes too fast?? it's hard to explain. it's also started to feel kinda repetitive to me. i still love busuu and i'm going to continue with my course, but it'd be nice to also have something else. like, preferably not an app, maybe a textbook or a website or something :D i don't really WHERE to find resources for language learning, despite being bilingual, i never really had to look on the internet to learn the languages i speak now, i picked it up from the people around me you know?

i've also been ''using'' duolingo but tbh, i really hate it. it feels boring to me, everyday it's ''ok what sentence am i going to be forced to write for the 40th time today?'' the single 'square' has 5 lessons and a 'unit' has around 10-8 of those squares and to finish a 'unit' you have to do about 50-45 of those lessons, which is shit because a 'unit' is only going to teach about 3 sentence structures and if you're lucky maybe 5. it's so shit, those greedy fuckers basically made it unusable. i've been using for about 140 days now, every single day i take at least one lesson, and it STILL has not taught me a SINGLE spanish tense. btw, i even had an entire phase where i would finish UNITS in about an hour and a half (1 min or less for every lesson) and still not a single ''pretérito Indefinido'' actual pain 🫠🫠 one day ll delete that app, one day (i guess that's why i like busuu in the first place, it actually teaches you these tenses and even some slang while duolingo makes you write ''papá, quiero visitar a nuestra abuela'' for the 700th time this week)

i want to watch vods and stuff, but tbh, i feel way too embarrassed? like, i don't know enough spanish to really understand them and even when they say basic sentences that i understand, i still have to listen to it multiple times and slow down the clip for me to really get it. the thing with spanish is that i'll understand the meaning of the words being said but i need to take a second or so to really comprehend what they mean together you know? i don't want to have to watch the stream slowed down because that would definitely make me feel stupid 😭 maybe when i have better spanish i'll start watching vods. although i do listen to spanish songs sometimes, it's fun :D

first thing: you don't have to feel embarrassed about needing time to process things/needing to listen to things slowed down. language learning is difficult and there are a lot of obstacles for many people; this is something i do understand and want to stress that i get that it's hard. you are not a bad person or an idiot or whatever for having a hard time understanding things-- you are still learning, and besides that, sometimes hearing things isn't someone's strong suit (it absolutely did not use to be mine, but i've practiced a lot and gotten much better at it. i'm still much much better at reading text in other languages, but it is something you can always improve on). if you need to take extra time to watch things, that is not a personal fault of yours nor does it make you stupid. everyone has different skill sets, and you can always practice to get better.

second thing: my own criticisms of both busuu and duolingo, along with their strengths. duolingo first, because i've used it since like. idk like 2016? not consistently but i've used it far more over the years and i'm very familiar with various changes they've made and the esp, ptbr, and french courses. busuu ive only been using for a few months

to get it out of the way, the recent change to laying off translators and using more AI in lessons. this sucks, obviously, for a myriad of reasons. machine translation cannot match with human translation, and frankly never will be able to. there are vast amounts of nuance and cultural context necessary for translation, along with the fact that an AI led course does not actually hit on all the things someone needs, particularly on a basics/foundational level. and from an ethical standpoint, laying off a ton of human translators because you think you can replace them with inaccurate machine translation sucks and is why so many people have dropped duolingo, myself included.

duolingo also has limitations in terms of format-- it gamifies language learning, which can make it feel more accessible to people and makes people want to open it and practice every day. however, most people use duolingo to do one lesson once a day and that's it. they're not getting in practice from lessons previously completed, they're not drilling vocab or conjugations, they're not actually maintaining or even remembering what they've already learned. obviously there are people (like myself, when i still used the app) who practice far more than that and continue to drill previous lessons, but that's not the majority, and it's not incentivized by the app. the paywalling of completing certain lessons and being able to drill error words also sucks for this reason. basically duolingo is not an ideal setup for actually maintaining knowledge once you go through it the first time and also the way the courses are laid out just. does not, imo, actually make sense. they rarely actually explain what they're trying to teach you and they don't get into enough detail on most concepts. and there is no incentive to review, which is hugely important. not an ideal situation for language learning, especially on its own.

my pros for duolingo: it gets you to practice daily. this is honestly what i use busuu for at this point-- when i get a notif for it, i open it up and flick through a lesson, but i also pull out a textbook or two to look at things there and practice stuff. if whipping out duolingo every day helps you practice a language, that is, at bare minimum, something. preferably you should be studying for at least 15min if not up to an hour or more of a language a day in order to really pick things up and maintain them; you can absolutely use duolingo or busuu for that (busuu i think is far less well formatted and oftentimes the lessons are very specific vocab, at least in the later courses).

for busuu, my issues are like. it's a poorly made imitation of duolingo, aside from a few things. the community aspect is something i REALLY like-- being able to send an exercise to a native speaker and get feedback on what to work on is great, especially with how it's a short answer question that lets you form your own sentences and try out vocab in context. that's a wonderful feature, and i really think it gets at something duolingo is completely missing.

but yeah like i said in terms of the lessons, busuu has very strange ways of teaching things. firstly, it's usually super specific topics and vocab that aren't paired with anything conceptually that helps you progress. usually in a language course, it's best to pair a concept you're working on with either relevant vocab or something that can be used to talk about similar subjects/in similar ways (for instance, subjunctive with food/restaurant vocab, so that you can build sentences both with the new vocab and using the new verbal form in ways that make sense, i.e. "I'll have whatever she's having, If I were to order the pasta, I would get a salad too," "If I were richer, I would always order filet mignon" (side note subjunctive is very difficult for eng speakers so idk if these examples actually make sense 😭))

also busuu will repeatedly teach me something phrased one way or with a certain word and then mark me wrong and insist i use a completely different word/phrase. i cannot figure out why it keeps doing this it's very frustrating. and it has recently been teaching me some european portuguese which is not what the course is supposed to be so i'm just baffled by what's going on there.

another positive for busuu, at least in contrast to duolingo, is it teaches you the vocab and phrases before quizzing you on them, which duolingo does not do. this is like a positive and also an "eh, idk" because i get why duolingo does that-- it's trying to throw you into using surrounding context to figure out what a word means, and that's a very good way to practice, but i think it doesn't necessarily achieve it well and sometimes will just spring random words on you without enough context for you to know what it's referring to without just clicking on the word anyway.

also neither app are good at teaching you verb conjugation or tenses which is really unfortunate for spanish and portuguese in particular, as they're both languages where verbs are really really key AND where understanding tenses and their names are important, particularly for native eng speakers who never got taught tense names or like. any terminology for languages in english 🙃

also here is a thing i wrote up complaining about duolingo & verbs ages ago: Duolingo does not teach you things explicitly. It expects you to pick them up in a semi-immersive style, which works okay most of the time for most people but for many people makes actually learning and understanding parts of a language very difficult. For instance, it won't teach you the exact difference in usage between ser and estar, in Spanish or Portuguese. This difference is something I spent weeks on in Spanish class in high school and continued to review the rest of my time learning Spanish in an academic setting-- it is a key element of two of the most important words in the language. Duolingo also doesn't explain stem changes or irregular verbs and their typical endings-- it simply expects you to pick these up and memorize them through sentence usage. Basically it's very obvious Duolingo was created by english speakers who were never taught key elements of their own language (this is not a dig on their personal fault; i was also never taught any of this shit about english) and don't know how to go about teaching a language, and the limited format doesn't help.

third thing, finally getting to what you actually asked: there are a lot of resources for learning spanish online! i'm not as familiar with them as i'd like, as i learned spanish in an academic setting, but i'll do my best to list some things out and anyone else can feel free to add on. i've been meaning to make a language learning advice post for literally ages and i guess this is going to become it lmao.

here is a video explaining how to make duolingo work for you along with other resources: A Linguist explains how to make duolingo actually work (tl;dr pair duolingo with conversation partners, textbook work, listening to music, watching movies, etc. etc.)

i've tagged this with my language learning tag, which has a bunch of resources including some specifically for learning spanish.

tumblr user salvador bonaparte has a drive of free textbooks you can check out here, including a ton of spanish resources. i also recommend looking around the internet/specifically linguistics tumblr to find more resources as well as looking at used bookstores/amazon/etc. for spanish textbooks to use, as that will provide a more thorough foundation along with other programs/types of learning.

i've never used babbel or any other online program like it, but spanish tends to be one of the more resource-heavy languages because it's so widely spoken, so typically spanish programs on various apps/sites are REALLY thorough (duolingo's spanish program is by far their best course, with a ton more resources than most other programs. you can go up to the equivalent of at least c2 on there i believe, versus many other languages where they don't even list the CEFR levels)

finally, the not-so-online answer: if you're in college/have a nearby community/junior college, consider taking spanish classes there! this option probably costs the most out of any others, but i genuinely think an academic setting is the a great way to learn a language for many people. if you're not one of them, that is totally fine, but an actual spanish course at a college is likely to be the most thorough way to learn the language. also many CCs/JCs offer spanish classes online, so if you can't drive or for whatever reason can't go to in-person courses, you'll likely still have options.

this is everything i can think of right now but i also want to add once again that learning a language is difficult!!! i know that, and i know that i complain a lot about monolinguals, but i am specifically complaining about people who refuse to engage respectfully with languages that are not their own and dismiss anything they don't understand as being stupid/not worth their time/culturally worthless. i am not complaining about people like you, who are trying really hard to engage with non-english content AND are trying really hard to learn another language.

i also think learning languages is one of the most incredible experiences there are and that expanding the kinds of cultural and social boundaries that you engage with is a really important facet of humanity that i wish more people would participate in. i get riled up because this is something i'm really truly passionate about, not because i think anyone is stupid or whatever for not learning. i want people to just try it and give it a chance, even if it's hard for them, and i'm glad that you are trying, anon. <333

[asgoodeasgold]

Matthew Goode "has that fire behind the eyes"

Incredible praise for the performances in Freud's Last Session, particularly Matthew Goode, in this interesting podcast about the film (link below). I must listen to their podcast about The Offer because they loved Matthew as Bob.

I have extracted the most interesting bits from the transcript (that is, the MG bits 😆).

I do agree with them Matthew is at par with the great and the good and that he was snubbed by awards more than once (but I think it's more than twice!).

I love that they have picked up on his non-verbal communication. I love that quote "fire behind the eyes"!

Interesting they think his lack of visibility despite the brilliant acting is because he is in a crowded field (many good actors in his generation). I think it's a bit more complicated than that, a confluence of circumstances and choice perhaps 🤔

📷 Freud's Last session (2023) stills from Sharmill Films

Freud's Last Session, A Discussion | Cinema: A to B (August 2023)

I felt like the acting was operating at a higher level than the source material.

2.46 Amazing neither of these guys got any sort of other nominations for acting and I'm not talking about necessarily Academy Awards but I'm talking like maybe baftas or something else. I think is kind of a shame frankly this is like the second thing I've seen mat Matthew Gooden that he was completely like ignored via nomination

3:35 … the acting's tremendous.

5:11 Watching two masters work and I'm going to use that with Matthew good I've seen him now on enough stuff and how he can change and how he and he holds his own with Anthony Hopkins I did not feel it was like Anthony Hopkins was at this level and Matthew good was at this level or what like you know low that was a little bit lower or whatever like they're equal like they are it's a nice repertoire or you know reper of the two of them going back and forth and I'm just super impressed

5:40 I mean obviously we talked about the offer already I think he was amazing as Bob Evans like really just changed his entire personality to really mimic Bob Evans and here he's nothing like it he's very reserved very intelligent very academic like he really pulls that off I mean Matthew good I really feel like is one of those like that unknown I want to say like the poor man's Benedict Cumberbatch but only in the sense of the Poor Man's because he's not as well known as Benedict Cumberbatch like he's got that acting chops of Cumberbatch he should be playing roles that Cumberbatch isn't heck he's been in movies that Cumberbatch is in imitation game …he held his own there I mean so Matthew good is amazing and it as so fun to watch him

14:13 Freud just wears his emotions on his sleeve and then good is really great at having that restrained but that fire burning behind the eyes which is something that he did so well in um The Watchmen yeah so really spot-on casting

14:31 I mean yeah and he he was able good was able to like internalize a whole lot of that but yet still like you said kind of show it Through The Eyes through the facial features of Lewis's has great respect for Freud

16:44 Matthew's like holding his own and countering properly and yeah they're they're good they're good together

16:52 I'm excited to see what Matthew does what what he goes on to do to see if he starts getting some bigger roles and more important stuff I mean he does have a small body not I don't know small is the the right word for it I know he does have a body of work already but it's not as robust as Hopkins you know and it definitely hasn't the same trajectory as Hopkins did yeah and he I think he lost out roles that went to Christian Bale yeah I can see that or like Bale's a little older but I just looked up Matthew was born in 78 so I think it's kind of just a circumstance you know luck of the draw kind of thing yeah cuz he reminds me quite a bit of Bale the way he kind of moves and Carries himself and the British actor that that category is kind of crowded with like really good actors I mean if you look guys like born in the 70s like mid to late like that's just a ton of them it's super crowded so I think he's run into some of that yeah and there's I mean obviously there's only so many roles and people.

[tarjapearce]

Hey, I wanna say i really really like the way you write fics. It feels??? Natural?? To read it?? Always an adventure everytime I read a fic of yours.

How do you write so good?? I'm a writer as well and I'd love to hear your tips and tricks ^^

First of all, I wanna thank you for liking the crap stuff I write. (Cause I'm genuinely amazed some times that people just like it and I'm not saying this because.)

⚠️⚠️LONG AND POSSIBLE CONTROVERSIAL ANSWER AHEAD ⚠️⚠️

It's kinda funny, ngl. Lemme tell you something, I don't know if you guys struggle with Impostor Syndrome a lot like me, but everytime someone gives a compliment like this my brain just goes into self sabotaging mode.

In the outside its :

But in the inside, my brain immediately goes:

Cause I'm aware that I can do better. (And we will ~) it's weird. I'm always striving to do better.

As for the tips and tricks, I'm surely not the right person to ask advice from 😅, but Imma just tell you this from what I experience and from my perspective (Hopefully won't get backlash from this, if not, R. I. P. me jsksj) Be warned though, it's kinda contradictory cause writing is hard yo!

1. You gotta read. Either books or whatever your favorite genre is, but you gotta read. I consume fan fics and non fanfics cause you learn from other people too. I read fanfics mostly to know new words, how the character develops and the like.

I read more spanish stuff than anything. Which I try to transfer to what I write.

2. I try to keep it as simple as possible. With that I mean to not over embellish words cause it gets boring and weird. Sure, everyone wants to make their fanfics pretty (nothing wrong in that) but sometimes I feel that less is more. Like, nothing wrong if you wanna poet the f- out of your fic. (THIS IS A DOUBLE EDGED ONE SO BE CAREFUL!!)

I mean there is a huge difference in reading:

"The anger and frustration on her way of living was taking a toll on her mind"

and:

"Her nemesism had muddled her mind into an endless spiral of what ifs and what not, and frankly if her mind could speak, it'd beg for a break."

It's hard to pick one style, but as long as you keep it consistent, I guess it's all good (?) (Funny cause I always aim for the second one and end up in the first jsksj and I dont even know myself if I'm keeping it consistent)

3. Get yourself a beta reader that doesn't coddle you. It helps alot!!!! Cause again, compliments sure are nice, but they don't tell you where you could get better. ✨( Unless the reader provides puntual feedback on what they liked and what not. Those are my favorites and a rare gem ❤️)

4. I know this one is hard because everyone at some point have done this. But IF YOU COMPARE yourself to other writers? You'll lose yourself. Not only you'll lose motivation cause you seem unable to write like them, but you will fall into this... vicious circle of self deprecating and burnout. And the self doubt sky rockets nonstop.

Everyone is different. Everyone learns in a different pace. Trust me, I wanted to make great stories with a good looking writing when I had the slightest idea of what I was doing (Still do!) 😂. Writing fanfics is not a competition to who writes more beautiful/good/professional than others. Or who has more notes or the most canon-stuck character, or the cause let's face it, none will get a character's personality to a 100%!!! (And that's ok cause it's fanfiction and we all have a different approach to the character either emotional or mental) .

Personally for me, the cockyest thing someone can do is to claim to know a character more than the creators themselves. Kinda rude for me, if you ask . Like, sure feeling a deep connection with a character doesn't mean it'll grant us instant access to their whole self. Characters just like us evolve. Either for the good or the bad, but they don't remain the same, so knowing them completely is a big fat lie. Unless stated by the creator. (But we're delusional in this site, so~)

I mean, sure characterization is something we all struggle since we guide ourselves by some of the character's most prominent traits and make them their default personality. (I've sinned in this jsksj so don't worry)

5. HAVE FUN AND TAKE BREAKS. I mean it. The favorite things I've written is where Im genuinely having fun writing it. But also after a well deserved rest. Cause if something doesn't feel right, it won't be right. And burnout is easier to get at than we actually think.

6. I recently started to follow writing advice blogs, one of my favorite @heywriters.

@she-who-fights-and-writes. (They have amazing writing resources, so does Pinterest and YouTube. Seize them!!!)

But yeah, I'm still an amateur on this, I make emphasis in the 5th one tho.

Hope this helps you? ;w;.

Love you❤️✨

Thanks for stopping by. ❤️

[turtleations]

KUMA: Never Ending Bond, Chapter 1, Part 3 (Translation)

Preface & Prologue Chapter 1, Part 1 & 2

HIDE and little KUMA’s youth, burning for X

When I met X, I was still in the third grade of middle school. Later, after entering high school, I went to any place X was at whenever there was no school and soon got to be an assistant to the members.

That time, when I vigorously risked my life to move around the entire country with X, was the irreplaceable springtime of my life.

Frankly, X at that time had an image of being wild boys, and they were actually famous for creating such a harsh work environment that roadies didn’t want to stay with them for long.

I remember doing the best I could to keep up with the members of the band so I would not be a burden to them.

In any case, it was my whole heart. I was running around with nothing on my mind except that I wanted to be with the people from my favorite band.

Nowadays, when kids with the ambition of becoming musicians work as roadies, they ask stuff like “How much do I get in one day?” or “Will travel expenses be covered?”

When I was with X, I had no awareness of such matters.

I put everything in it, for no other purpose than that I wanted to be of help to those people.

Of course, the times probably changed between then and now, but I didn’t do it because I wanted any kind of reward. Just because I liked it. That was all I had in mind.

So I guess, even though from the perspective of a fan it was a harsh environment, I simply did my best.

Towards me, who was like that, HIDE-San was always considerate.

When X were still amateurs and the stops during a tour were at business hotels where even the members had to share a room, I, of course, didn’t have anywhere to stay either.

In that case, HIDE-san always said, “KUMA, you don’t have anywhere to sleep again, do you?” and let me have a spot in their own room.

He may not have been a talkative person, but he was always full of casual kindness and consideration like that.

It was the same when I came from Kumamoto to the capital.

I said this before, but until I got my own room, he let me stay in his for free, bought me bentos as well, and although he didn’t have a lot of money, he’d pay for my share without saying anything.

The time I went to Fukuoka for a concert and classmates of mine came from Kumamoto to meet me there, he took care of them as well. I had just moved to Tokyo and did not have the free time to return to Kumamoto, so my friends came to see me in Fukuoka. When I said after the concert that I was going to meet my friends, HIDe-san said the following:

“KUMA, since everyone came specifically for you, I’ll quickly prepare some food and then call you over.”

He called my friends to the party after the concernt and encouraged them to eat.

Even now, all of those friends still remember that.

“HIDE-san was so kind to us.”

That’s how everyone always remembers him.

That’s how HIDE-san became like indispensable family to me… Really, we were always together, whether during concerts or in private.

The people around us just called me “HIDE-chan’s KUMA” or “Little HIDE”.

Be that as it may, when I started to follow HIDE-san in earnest, I was still a high school student. Of course, we weren’t together all the time. When there was no school, I went wherever X was, when it resumed, I returned to Kumamoto… My life was like that. Changing out of my school uniform on the train, or on the plane, and all that. It cost a lot of time and money, yet it was so fun that I wondered if I could continue like that forever.

I remember it vividly even now…

That story where the equipment van went down the highway during a tour and the amps and the equipment and the promotional stickers all fell out through the back door, and upon HIDE-san’s order to “Just pick of the stickers!” everyone was running in the middle of the highway doing just that – HIDE-san was desperately trying to help me.

When it came to the fanclub bulletin that came out after their debut, HIDE-san also designed the cover as editor-in-chief and always checked over the details.

When he came to the fan club’s office after briefings and the phone rang while the staff was on break, HIDE-san would answer the call with, “Hi, this is the X fan club!”

The real HIDE-san would pick up the phone. What a superb fan club this was!

One time, several calls came in at once, so I picked one up as well, and the girl calling entrusted me with, “I love HIDE-san. I will support him. Please tell him that I will follow him forever!”

So I turned to HIDE-san who was standing next to me and told him, “This is a girl who loves you and means to follow you forever.” Then, I passed the receiver to the grinning HIDE-san who cheerfully said, “Hi, this is HIDE. Thank you so much!” and talked to the girl. Things like that happened a lot.

Aside from things like that, we did a lot of unglamorous work.

But as the scope of the band grew and more and more people became involved, the number of tasks we would all put our efforts into together gradually decreased as circumstances were rapidly changing… To me, that period had been truly wonderful.

In my memory, that time stands out as something dear and precious.

Chapter 1, Part 4

[theminecraftbee]

as someone who is also interested in making a persona au but is struggling, how do you decide on the more persona specific stuff? like, how do you decide on stuff like who’s which social link, what personas they have, costumes (if they have any in your au) and stuff like that? it’d be nice to hear about someone else’s thought process;;

SO! starting with general advice that will apply even outside of persona aus: the thing is that none of the assignments will ever be perfect. the inherent nature of ANY au like this is that different people will have different character opinions; for example, i'm sure there are people vehemently think my social link assignments should be different! and that's fine; your goal isn't "perfect, immutable fit", your goal is "it fits to the story i'm trying to tell". like, in general,

with that ALSO said: you shouldn't try to shove characters perfectly into roles from other things, either. two different characters will have two different reactions to Situations, and you should take advantage of that, too! it's like... the role you give a character WILL shape them, but the character will shape that role, too.

with that out of the way: specific persona au thoughts!

first, you are going to want to decide who your team will eventually be; persona squads normally start out with around three guys and end up at seven or eight (with the eighth man often being an odd-one-out). I went “the cherry blossom hill gang” in my au, which was easy, but you may have less simple ideas there! also keep in mind that you will, at least, have protagonist/healer/physical damage/magical damage as the four “basic” in-game archetypes, with persona also typically having a “balanced” guy who does both, a status setter, an instakill guy, and a party buffs guy, spread across its guys. so if that helps you here, excellent! you will also need at least one of the main party to be a navigator.

you will also want some idea of the “themes” of your au because it’ll help you out deciding personas and social links, plus a little plot.

so, first: each persona game has a “theme” for the main party personas. 3 is all greek legendary figures that evolve to greek gods (with lucia prior to ultimate personas breaking theme, and kala-nemi and messiah breaking theme with the ultimate personas). 4 is all japanese gods that evolve to another name of those same gods (with chie breaking theme in that her ultimate persona has nothing to do with her original one). 5 is all legendary rogues/thieves that evolve to trickster gods (with necronomicon breaking theme and frankly milady is a STRETCH for the starter personas, and astarte and anat being questionable for the ultimates). as the like… MANY caveats show, you don’t have to be perfectly on-theme, but having a theme at least in mind helps a lot with picking what persona everyone gets by narrowing the pool! for my au, is went “famous lovers”, since a major “theme” of my au is “isolation versus bonds”. however, you don’t have to stick to something with thematic relevance, you just want something that helps tie everyone together a little bit.

as for weapons, what elements they attack with, what their party role is like: that’s a personality call, you know? and don’t be afraid to get a little weird with it, we aren’t atlus, we CAN break character archetype.

as for social links: that’s indeed tricky! it can help to remember you don’t ACTUALLY need to come up with 22. the world/the universe is ALWAYS only the protagonists final persona. the fool is ALWAYS a plot-driven social link that effectively represents “the protagonist’s relationship with the plot”, with p3/4 making that the team, and p5 making that igor. judgement is ALWAYS a plot-driven social link that represents the protagonist at the end of their journey; in p3/4 it’s the team at the end of the plot once they know their true purpose, and in p5 it’s sae nijima as she interrogates the protagonist. so that cuts out three arcana already to be set aside as “this is for the plot”.

next, while I know this isn’t true of p3, it makes sense from our own writing perspective where our story is NOT constrained by “gameplay dictates a social link can happen at any time” to make each member of the team a social link. fill out the rest with additional canon characters.

but how to decide which character goes in which link? helpfully, this is persona: it tends to have a little less to do with personality and more to do with storyline. you can go by “what character fits the tarot symbolism best”—doc as the tower, jimmy as the hanged man—or “what character fits the normal persona character archetype for this arcana”—skizz as chariot, mumbo as moon. you can also go for a mix! if you don’t KNOW what kind of character normally fills an archetype, the megami tensei wiki has pages for each arcana that describes the typical character archetype that goes there. you can also break type as needed—joe is hermit in my au despite “hermit” not really being his persona character archetype for very specific plot/tarot reasons, for example, and impulse is emperor, but is breaking persona type by being a healer rather than a heavy physical attacker. it’s your au, have fun with it!

also, ultimately, know that because it’s your au to have fun with, if you DON’T have fun giving everyone an arcana, just pick out the ones that are relevant to the part you’re writing and ignore the rest until they come up. this is my tactic for worldbuilding in like half the aus I write it hasn’t steered me wrong yet.

good luck! I hope this helped!

[fadebolt]

I've seen some people posting their attacks collection from this year, so here's mine:

With the lovely targets being:

1. meowynn

2. aquaticnebulae

3. soul-sylver

4. sb-is-a-thing

5. saintwyrm

6. bindibites

7. phishtoast

8. pansear-doodles

9. toiletpapericecream

Decided not to ping them here, since I already did it once when I posted the attacks individually. But these are their blog names, and they're cool people with cool art - so feel free to look through their stuff!

This was an awesome first year of Artfight! Huge thanks to everyone who sent me their creations involving my powerswap scugs, I adore them all quite a lot! And thanks for all the wonderful comments and reactions to my attacks as well!

You guys were wonderful, and I hope I'll get to see you next year as well! :)

(Bonus ramblings about AF thoughts below cut. Be warned, they do be lengthy)

So when I was starting out with the site, I looked around on the internet to see what people had to say (out of curiosity, and to maybe find something helpful). And apparently, there are a bunch of entitled users that complain if the art you send them isn't "high quality" enough, or if you don't send a revenge for their attacks.

And I'm just sitting here, and wondering which Artfight did these people show up to, cus I've frankly never seen a person like that. Everyone was super sweet and appreciative when I attacked them, and I received zero scorn from attackers I didn't revenge. Perhaps it's something that happens only outside the Rain World community?

Anyhow, I ended this year with a solid 9/5, which might seem like rookie numbers for many, which... is actually kind of fair, considering that I am technically a rookie.

I really didn't expect to get attacked at all, considering that my refs were slightly rushed, and not particularly polished (something I'll hopefully get around to addressing in the meantime). Though I did have hopes that sharing my profile on Tumblr, and some Discord servers might help.

Funny thing is, I don't think any of those 5 people came from there, as they haven't interacted with me on Tumblr yet, and they haven't joined the servers that I was in. There's no way for me to confirm this, but they probably found me while browsing through the AF website itself, which is extremely flattering (especially since I initially thought that folks usually just attack their friends... turns out that ain't quite the case).

But this also proves that my theory about people liking powerswap Slugcats was actually correct! Which is great, cus they're a blast to create, and hopefully by next year, I'll get to have the other half of the cast (name ideas are 'Lightcat', 'The Crusader', 'The Solitary' 'The Augmented' and 'The Gambler', but it's all subject to change).

There were also some of my OCs which showed up in my attacks - I'm planning on adding them in, too. (So if you like necromancers, wizards that copy the spells of others, and weird fanchildren of niche ships, then I got some wonderful news for you!)

Speaking of my attacks, I definitely didn't draw nearly as much as I did for Art Month. That's because I decided it would be better to take things a bit slower, to have more fun, and avoid burnout. As I would rather send over a few attacks that I enjoyed, than to rapidly rush out like 60, to hit as many people as possible.

Sure, it'll mean that I won't get to attack as many people, but I still think it's worth it, as I get to enjoy myself more, while my target gets a better piece.

I was slightly concerned that a lot of people would find it insulting that I used a randomizer to pick targets, but nobody seemed to mind, which is great. After all, there were no bad intentions on my part, I just simply had too many people I considered worthy of being attacked, and I needed some outside help to combat my indecisiveness. There's simply too many great artists in this community!

My list consisted of SC members that stayed (I was grateful for their efforts to keep the place alive, and I felt this would be a great way to thank them), some other people from the fandom that I liked, and my attackers, who were given a multiplier of 5 to their chances, cus yeah xd

There were over 30 people there, so it's safe to say that I didn't get to most of them. I think next year, I'll give them increased chances too, and hopefully, I get around to most of 'em. (Unless I'll have to work on my thesis in July... I don't quite remember when that's going to happen. Hopefully, that won't be the case, and I'll have a bunch of free time, like this year, and I'll be able to do more than 9 attacks then. Fingers crossed)

So that's pretty much all I wanted to say here. I'm not sure if I should post any updates or uploads I do to my characters there btw. I suppose we'll see.

But the event was real fun, and I'm looking forward to experiencing it again!

[heavensbeehall]

More about the other victors & chapter 16

They're a little strange, but I'm pretty sure neither of them is going to try to make me uncomfortable by stripping naked.

Again, Katniss is not a sexual being yet. She is most comfortable with Beetee, Wiress and Mags because she understands those type of relationships. Also the three of them are awsome.

I glance around the Training Center. Peeta is at the center of a ribald circle of knife throwers. The morphlings from District 6 are in the camouflage station, painting each other's faces with bright pink swirls. The male tribute from District 5 is vomiting wine on the swordfighting floor. Finnick and the old woman from his district are using the archery station. Johanna Mason is naked again and oiling her skin down for a wrestling lesson. I decide to stay put.

Peeta is much better with people, all kinds of people. Katniss doesn't know what to do with naked people. So she stays with the nerds.

I want to know what Finnick and Mags talk about at the archery station.

I feel bad, knowing that their district must have suffered much worse than ours. I feel I need to defend my people.

Here's a chicken or the egg question. Are the victors from 3 and 4 rebels because their districts are rebellious. Or are the districts rebellious because their victors are?

Plutarch Heavensbee in the magnificent purple robe with the fur-trimmed collar that designates him as Head Gamemaker. He's eating a turkey leg.

I don't know why I find it hilarious that he's eating a turkey leg, but I do. I am imagining one of those rlly big ones from fairs and stuff.

When we make our way into the dining area, I see some of Peeta's gang have other ideas. They're dragging all the smaller tables to form one large table so that we all have to eat together. Now I don't know what to do. Even at school I used to avoid eating at a crowded table. Frankly, I'd probably have sat alone if Madge hadn't made a habit of joining me.

I wonder whose idea this was. I suspect Chaff. But we can see some of the school versions of Katniss and Peeta. He was always with a group from the town kids. She prefers to be alone.

Chaff doesn't seem as bad at lunch. He's sober, and while he talks too loud and makes bad jokes a lot, most of them are at his own expense. I can see why he would be good for Haymitch, whose thoughts run so darkly. But I'm still not sure I'm ready to team up with him.

This description of Chaff reminds me of my dad. He's a people-person and feels the need to entertain everyone all the time. (It can be exhausting and I can see why someone as introverted and inhibited as Katniss would be put off.) But the fact that he makes an effort to seek out Haymitch--who pushes everyone away--makes me love him. You know Haymitch says mean stuff to him and he just laughs it off.

After lunch I do the edible-insect station with the District 8 tributes--Cecelia, who's got three kids at home, and Woof, a really old guy who's hard of hearing and doesn't seem to know what's going on since he keeps trying to stuff poisonous bugs in his mouth.

I think Woof knows exactly what he's doing when he puts poisonous bugs in his mouth.

Finnick appears again when I'm picking up fishing tips, but mostly just to introduce me to Mags, the elderly woman who's also from District 4. Between her district accent and her garbled speech--possibly she's had a stroke-- I can't make out more than one in four words. But I swear she can make a decent fishhook out of anything--a thorn, a wishbone, an earring. After a while I tune out the trainer and simply try to copy whatever Mags does. When I make a pretty good hook out of a bent nail and fasten it to some strands of my hair, she gives me a toothless smile and an unintelligible comment I think might be praise. Suddenly I remember how she volunteered to replace the young, hysterical woman in her district. It couldn't be because she thought she had any chance of winning. She did it to save the girl, just like I volunteered last year to save Prim. And I decide I want her on my team.

Do we thinks Mags did have a stroke? I have a headcanon that she's had a speech impediment her whole life but that's just in the imaginary Mags story I write in my head.

In fact, I feel as if I've somehow been initiated into the victors' circle. During the next two days, I spend time with almost everybody headed for the arena. Even the morphlings, who, with Peeta's help, paint me into a field of yellow flowers.

Yellow flowers again.

Mags, who I can understand a little better now, decides she's just going to take a nap.

Queen shit. I love Mags.

[oliverreedmasterass]

Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Interlude | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Second Interlude | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Epilogue

Chapter Summary: Jake's not telling Rae something, and she begins to question who she can trust in this strange town.

Words: 2.1k

Warnings: language, mentions of poor health/hospitals, missing people

Notes: Thank you to @infinisonicosm for the fic idea!!

-----------------------------------------------------

Rae watched as Jake’s face dropped, every ounce of his cool demeanor drained away. He positioned himself so he was standing in front of Sam, leaving Rae uncomfortably standing off to the side, unsure whether she should stick around or leave. 

“Sam, tell me,” Jake said in a hush, his eyes locked on the younger boy. 

Sam raked a hand through his full head of hair, and then took a shaky breath. “I found his backpack in the woods.” 

Jake frowned. “Sam, what were you doing in there?” 

Oh shit, Rae mouthed, and started to take a few cautious steps away from the two boys. Jake seemed like he was on the verge of imploding. 

“He’s my best friend,” Sam raised his voice in retaliation. “What else am I supposed to do? The cops aren’t any use.” 

Jake was level in his response, but anger seeped beneath his words. “It’s not safe for you in there, you know that. What if you went missing next?” 

“That’s a risk I’m willing to take.” 

“Not me.” 

“I’m gonna take off,” Rae cleared her throat and raised a hand. Jake jumped away from Sam in shock at the reminder that Rae was still there. He turned to face her and shot an apologetic half-smile which was obviously forced. Behind him, Sam looked like he wanted to bike away from Jake as fast as he could. 

“Sorry,” Jake tried to turn back on his charm. “I can still walk you back to your place, I wasn’t expecting to run into my younger brother.” 

“You’ve obviously got some stuff to discuss,” Rae couldn’t help but widen her eyes. Jake looked back at Sam and sighed. 

“Yeah,” he agreed. “Yeah, I think we do.” 

“I’ll see you on Monday,” Rae promised Jake. He looked like he wanted to say more to her, but he kept his lips shut and waved her off as she turned on her heel to head home. As she walked away, she could hear Sam pick back up his conversation with his brother. 

“Jake, there were some weird smells in that bag. I’m really worried.” 

“Hey, hey, keep your voice down. Let’s talk about this at home, okay?” 

Smells? Rae wondered to herself. What the hell does that mean?!

Rae was caught in her head for the rest of the ten minute walk to her house. While being around Jake had lifted her spirits significantly, there was a lot that was off about him and the other people in Frankenmuth. Rae felt a deep pit of uncertainty widening in her stomach about everything. Josh made her nervous, she was petrified of whatever was going on in those woods, and the conversation between Jake and Sam was bizarre. Already on her second day, she felt like she had witnessed enough drama to last a lifetime. Her friends back in Folsom were going to lose their minds when they heard about her time with the mysterious senior. But, Morgan would be the first to hear about it all. 

After receiving a frankly deserved scolding from her mom for taking too long to bring the groceries home, Rae dragged Morgan outside where they could talk in private. As soon as they settled into the lawn chairs their dad had set out at the far end of the property, Morgan shot Rae a knowing grin. 

“So, tell me about the friend you made.” 

“Morgan, literally the most interesting guy I’ve ever met.” 

“Did he have a face tattoo? Please tell me he had a face tattoo.” 

“No, he’s a senior at Frankenmuth High.” 

“Ooh, Rae,” Morgan teased, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Hey, what do you think it means for a backpack to have weird smells?” 

“Huh?”

Rae shook her head. She was hung up on what she had overheard Sam tell Jake and, more importantly, how quickly Jake had told Sam to lower his voice. That information was obviously something that Rae wasn’t supposed to hear, which made her all the more intrigued. 

“Let’s say, hypothetically, someone goes missing in the woods and, a month later, someone else finds their backpack and describes it as having weird smells. What do you make of that?” 

“That’s way too specific to be a hypothetical situation, Rae. What the hell is going on?” 

“Just, help me think through this. Like, do you think of drugs? Bodily fluids?” 

“I genuinely have no clue. You’re kinda worrying me.” 

“I feel like there’s something off about this place,” Rae admitted. 

“Gut feeling?” Morgan checked in. Rae nodded her head. “I did see missing posters when we were driving in yesterday,” Morgan thought aloud. “I guess I didn’t really think too much about it until now.” 

“The guy I met told me to avoid the woods. I guess that’s where people have been missing.” 

“Wait, like, multiple people?” 

Rae nodded and held up three fingers to her brother. 

“Shit,” Morgan breathed out. 

“Stay away from those woods, you hear me?” Rae stared at him to make sure he understood how serious she was. Morgan was luckily quick to agree. 

“I’m not going in there, are you kidding me? What would I do in a place like that? I’m a simple guy, I listen to my music, I spend a buttload of time in the hospital, I watch hockey. No need for me to wander into some sinister woods for the hell of it.” 

Rae was relieved that Morgan wasn’t like Sam. She was haunted by the look of terror etched on Jake’s face when he had learned that his younger brother was wandering around in a deadly place that had taken three lives before, and potentially countless more to come. Morgan studied Rae when she didn’t give him a response, and leaned closer.  

“So this guy you met, he has something to do with the missing people?”  

“His younger brother’s best friend went missing a month ago.” 

“Shit. And they found his backpack?” 

“Yup.” 

“That’s a bummer.” 

Morgan was quiet for a few beats, as if giving a moment of silence for Sam’s friend, and then he nudged Rae in the arm. 

“You like this mystery guy?” 

Rae’s cheeks flushed, and she shrugged. 

“Jake’s okay.” 

“Jake? That’s a good, strong name.” 

“Dude, you’re starting to sound like Dad.” 

Their laughs carried up into the trees on the outskirts of their backyard. Rae gazed up at the top of one of the tall trees and her laughter quickly fell flat. The trees in Frankenmuth had an eerie quality to them that filled her with a heavy sense of dread. She wanted to talk with Jake more about the trees, her gut feelings, and Sam’s missing friend. She wanted to understand what he thought was going on in those woods, and if there was anything the people of Frankenmuth could do to stop it. 

She gazed over at Morgan and jumped to her feet. Deep red blood was flowing from his right nostril, pooling above his cupid’s bow. 

“What?” Morgan looked up at her. Rae didn’t need to say anything since he reached up and wiped under his nose, observing his hand afterwards. “God dammit,” he muttered. 

“Let’s get you inside,” Rae said as she helped Morgan to his feet. He retrieved a tissue from his pocket that had some red splotches on it from a previous nosebleed and held it to his nostril. 

“You know this is my third one today?” Morgan shared. 

“That’s not good,” Rae couldn’t help but comment. Her parents were always hounding her to stay optimistic around Morgan, but she knew that he could easily see through her bullshit. He liked being told things straight, even if they were bad. 

Morgan trudged into the downstairs bathroom and discarded his tissue, now soaked in crimson, into the trash bin with a look of disgust on his face. Rae sat on the edge of the bathtub and watched his downturned facial expression through the mirror as he cleaned himself up. It could have just been the lighting, but she noted that he was looking more pale than usual. 

“I’ll give you some of my tampons, you know, like in She’s the Man?” Rae attempted to lift her brother’s spirits. 

“I genuinely might borrow some before school starts,” he murmured. Rae continued to watch her brother attempt to remove any evidence of his deteriorating health from his face, and felt the weight of his situation like a load of lead on her back. 

Eight months prior, Morgan had come down with what they assumed was the flu, just after the holidays. He usually bounced back fast from illnesses but, for whatever reason, this one knocked him out to the point where Rae didn’t see him for a week straight. After 3 weeks of being entirely bed-ridden, Morgan was taken to their family doctor. They took a blood test, just for safe measures, and that was when they found it. His blood cell count was disproportionately high, and they discovered mutations happening that were overwhelming his healthy red and white blood cells. To the surprise of everyone, Morgan was diagnosed with chronic leukemia. 

Although they had moved so he could start chemo, Morgan still insisted that he attend school for as long as he physically could. Otherwise, he’d be festering alone at home, which was the last thing he wanted to do. Rae and her parents were concerned about how much Morgan could handle, both between being the new kid at school, and battling a deadly disease, but he was a tough kid. 

“Hey, those tampons are all yours,” Rae warmly replied. “You own shoving those up your schnoz.” 

She was glad that earned her a decent laugh from Morgan. 

Across the hall, they heard a knock at the front door. 

“Rae! Can you get that?” Rae’s mom called from the dining room, where she was setting the table for dinner. Rae’s knees cracked as she slowly lifted from the bathtub, which got another chuckle from Morgan. She shot him a playful middle finger as she passed by him to open the front door.  

Standing on their porch was Jake, still carrying his bag of beef jerky and taking in the modest exterior of her house. 

“What are you doing here?” Rae couldn’t help but gawk. 

“I know this is a little strange,” Jake admitted. “I just wanted to swing by and apologize for my brother interrupting our walk. He’s dealing with a lot right now which has, well, been a bit of a challenge.” 

“You don’t have to apologize,” Rae cut him off before he could go any farther. Behind her, she heard Morgan creep out of the bathroom and stand just out of Jake’s line of sight so he could see who was at the door. “Is everything okay? You seemed pretty shaken up.” 

“I mean, no, but yeah. Don’t worry about me. I won’t take up too much of your time, just, uh, sorry for being a shitty tour guide. Oh, and I wanted to give you this.” 

Jake reached into his back pocket and retrieved a small slip of paper that he tucked into Rae’s hand. She uncurled her hand and stared down at Jake’s grocery store receipt from earlier. 

“You want me to know how much you spent on that beef jerky?” 

“What? No, turn it over.” 

Rae did as she was told and made a sound of understanding when she saw that Jake had written out his phone number in his chicken scratch writing. 

“That’s a 2, just to clarify,” Jake said, leaning close to Rae to point down at the paper. 

“Are you sure you want to give me this?” Rae joked around. “I’m never gonna leave you alone.” 

“Hey, that’s not the worst thing to happen to me,” Jake shrugged. Rae wanted him to keep talking, but he cut himself off at that. 

“Well, maybe we can find a place to meet up before school starts on Monday,” she suggested. “You can show me where my classes are so my first day isn’t an absolute nightmare.” 

“You’ve got it,” Jake gave her a wide grin. “See you then, Rae.” 

Jake gave her a salute, and then jumped down the three stairs leading from their porch to the walkway and hurried to the sidewalk. Rae watched him turn around and give her a thumbs up before heading on his way down the street. Morgan joined her side and watched Jake speed off into the distance. 

“I’m assuming that was Jake.” 

“Yup.” 

“He can’t stay away from you.” 

“Yeah, I don’t know what’s up with that,” Rae replied. Then, she stopped. 

“What?” Morgan asked, picking up on her sudden tenseness. 

“He never walked me fully home,” Rae realized aloud. “I have no clue how he knows where I live.”

***

Note: I wrote the ending before everything that went down on twitter this week...I will acknowledge that this didn't age well, like, at all

Taglist: @lvnterninthenight, @writingcold, @myownparadise96, @i-choose-the-road, @psychedelicsprinkles, @mama-likes72

[argentumcor]

@paranorahjones tagged me in this. I'm not usually one for this sort of thing but I've been looking at writing-qua-writing to get some stuff in order so I figured I'd do a little navel-gazing (procrastinating).

How did you get into writing fanfiction?

Oh goodness. I think my first fanfic was for KotOR back in…before 2008, before I graduated high school. It’s lost to LiveJournal I believe, or FF.net. Several things are. They were fine, as I recall. Written when I was a lot younger for sure. I had to write them, though.

How many fandoms have you written in?

To go by AO3, 30 that I would consider actual separate fandoms. Many of those are one-shots, sometimes just odd ideas I had about something I watched or read or played, things I needed to get out of my head.

How many years have you been writing fanfiction?

Must be around 16, though there were several years-long breaks in there. I am a dried-up old woman. You'll never be actually cool until you're over 30, kids, and then you won't even really care, get over it.

Do you read or write more fanfiction?

Frankly, read. I read very fast, I write not as fast, no one writes as fast as I read. For whatever fandom I’m working in, with exceptions, I will read new things and things I liked to help keep me motivated and inspired. As you can see from how many fandoms I’ve written for, I devour new fiction by nature. Verily, I hunger for it.

What is one way you've improved as a writer?

Pacing, pacing, pacing. I write my own stuff under my real name- I will not dox myself, partly paranoia and partly a sense of personal artistic ethics- and fanfiction has been my training wheels especially with pacing. It is the hardest part of fiction to me, something intuitive you have to have a go at until you find the right sense of it.

What's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

Hmm. I’m not a great barometer for weird. In recent memory, I spent a lot of time walking around every stupid alleyway and cranny of Night City in Cyberpunk 2077. I spend a lot of time feeling around in the guts of the fandoms I write- sometimes that’s really what it feels like you are doing.

What's your favorite type of comment to receive on your work?

Hard to pick. It’s really nice when someone gets what you’re doing with structure and theme for longer works, but the people who are just struck plan by something I wrote are very special to me. All my commenters are, really. You guys rock. You know what though? The ones who say things like “oh thank God I found this, it feels like it was written by an adult who cares about the characters as people and not some teenager trying to get off”, I like those ones best because I totally understand.

What's the most fringe trope/topic you write about?

Hmm. It’s a hard life, being a neo-paleo-counter-reformationist, but somebody’s gotta do it (rosary fics).

What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

Crossovers most of the time. I have an X-files/SG-1 crossover I may never come back to because it required me to hold this kind of early aughts sci-fi mentality in my mind for two shows that both sync and do not sync and also isn’t where I, emotionally, am at these days. I don’t like to write crossovers generally because of that kind of thing and, even with reading, most of them are like a food combo only explainable by pregnancy hormones.

What is the easiest type?

Brief character studies where you’re looking at a character’s mindset during events. It’s simple and focused.

What is something that you've been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

I started many moons ago, but never got around to reviving or really doing anything with, a Halo/Firefly crossover based on the end of Halo 3 that would have replaced Serenity. The crew finds some weird, old salvage adrift in the black…also my Firefly continuation since we’re on the subject, another ‘this is where the story is going’. I wonder if those notes are anywhere. No, no, wait, stop…

What made you choose your username?

I liked the sound of it. I’m Silverheart most places and argentumcor on Tumblr because Silverheart was taken so I just put it into Latin because neo-paleo-counter-reformationist and also, importantly, I am lazy.

Huh, I broke the formatting a bit? So it goes. I'll tag @womaninwinter because now she is double-tagged and this amuses me.

[blindrapture]

july 4.

the last section of this log was entirely rewritten, from the moment Jordan and Donnie step onto American soil. when I began my rewrite of Act 2, I wanted to start with that part. there were two reasons for this. 1) in all the earlier drafts, touchdown in Atlantic City is where we met a major character. for this complete Act 2 overhaul, I wanted to overhaul the characters as well, and the dynamics of the protagonist 'party.' so we won't be meeting This Character for a while yet. 2) I was rewriting a decade-old story at a much different time of my life, with a lot more lessons learned. I knew, even if I successfully put myself in the old-school teenage Rapture headspace, there was going to be discrepancy between the parts that were Overhauled and the parts that were simply Touched Up. I had to allow for that, I had to allow for the possibility of a jarring transition. having this align with a geographical shift.. felt right.

England in this story is how I saw it at age 16, and I'm totally okay with that. but America is a very different "character." America is where I wanted to go, even then, and frankly I never lost that part of me. America is where I had been brought up to live. and America's a much bigger place, with.. frankly, much more distinct areas, much more distinct boundaries between town and countryside. ("wait, jordan, I am from England and I can tell the difference between town and countryside," yeah well what about up north? what about Yorkshire? that's where my family's from. it's not so much that I'm saying the towns look like countrysides, more that the towns are so close together that sometimes a drive between them just feels like a brief trip on a motorway and then you're back into a town that looks identical. no real transition. and have you also spent half your life in America? there are differences in how everything feels.) so okay, maybe it's not so much some brilliant real-life insight I'm bringing to the table here, maybe it's more of... y'know, those words I love so much: Poetry. Art. Expressionism. Symbolism. maybe these observations say more about Jordan than about England. but I mean, it's also not a revelation to point out America is a different scale of country. there's more room for things to happen. and more media to pull sources from. the point is. we're in America now. we're in Rapture's America. and the writer at this point is now 29 years old. you are allowed to feel some serious excitement. ;3

//////

so this whole serial, "Rael's Exodus," had a simple enough structure: I gave you a boatful of people to gradually get picked off while the Rake and the Massacrer acted as two small-time distractions until it was time to learn about EAT and Indisen. I think it worked for that, I think any claustrophobic horror story needs the ensemble cast and the misdirection plot. it's not quite a mystery story, it's suspense. you can't really predict how the twists will go, though it is entirely possible to see through the misdirection. the goal here was to feed you information about EAT, even with all the Indisen stuff. the Indisen are an important force too, absolutely, but their explanation won't come for a long time. (it was also important to introduce you to the Masked Massacrer, and to kill off the fourth and final Rake. this serial was written with functional purposes in mind, and that actually helped the tone. nobody likes to be trapped in an enclosed space with the unspoken Plot making decisions for you.)

the real point here was EAT.

you needed to meet EAT. and EAT needed to meet Jordan.

EAT is... important. of course it was gonna be, as it's my Fear, EAT is my horror creation. as soon as Rapture introduced the Wooden Girl and opened the door for a Fear narrative, it was only a matter of time before I'd include her too. I'd only created EAT a few months prior by that point, and only included her in one story (Jordan Eats Normally Now, which I was starting to feel limited by), I wanted to show her from more angles, let her grow, and maybe even find a way to make her as frightening as I had always wanted. as a work of function in this story of moving parts, EAT's role in Act 1 doubles as the foil for the Harlequin. Act 1 has quite a few Fears in it, but most of them had bit parts (and Thoth as a deuter-narrator); the major Fears were Harly and EAT. these were the Fears that Jordan spent the most time with and had actual back-and-forth conversations with. they are meant to be compared and contrasted. they are both characters.

the Indisen exist to show you EAT's limits. you won't exactly understand those limits yet, but you are supposed to know that EAT is being thwarted by something. is it a good thing for us? you can use some reason and figure out what the story has already communicated to you, you will hit a wall of "we simply don't know that part yet," but it helps to delineate that wall for yourself.

the Masked Massacrer is. god, it's weird. no matter how many edits I do, no matter how stupid I think that name is, and no matter how many times I forget what the point of the Massacrer was and assume it's just a random little human threat, I always... leave it there. because I also always remember how the Massacrer exists to turn a lot of wheels that need turning. the Massacrer keeps a lot of moving parts moving. and I'm talking about large-scale moving parts here! the Masked Massacrer is a tiny little lever that does a lot of things! that's all just to say, I keep it there for a reason. but, it's an iteration on the classic Slender Man trope of The Proxy. it's a Proxy for something else. even wears a mask. it's a Masky. it's absolutely a Masky. that's all you gotta know right now.

what else should I say here. I think I've covered a lot. I also mentioned some things that I could say a little more about but that I just instead... opened the door for you to interpret. because this ogtrib bonus series is like book club. or also omake, Reala made that comment a while ago, this is like omake.

but tell you what. I'll do one more paragraph, this time talking about Act 1 as a whole, in retrospect. and then I'll leave you with some bonus Rapture Art.

you've now read the complete Act 1, "The Coming of the Four Rakes." it lasted from May 23rd until July 4th, making it the Act with the most days in it. but amusingly enough, despite having the most days, at 62,000 words it's by far the shortest Act. I wrote it over the course of about two months when I was 16, in preparation for the time I would run away from a home I was scared of. I lived in fear a lot back then. I also wrote it because people were reading it. that's really big for me. little Jordan had an audience, there were people who cared about him (!!!) and people who just wanted to see what the Fear Mythos could do, and Jordan was in some real sense a spokesperson for the Fear Mythos. the mythos had only started in February/March 2011, so we hadn't been going for that long, but we had numbers and we had ambition. I was having a little fun writing a Fictional Blog, it was a new style for me, but everyone was doing one of those, and we were doing them after the Slender Man Mythos had already done a literally countless amount of them. there was untapped potential in breaking away from the blog format. so Rapture was Internet Fiction instead. it was allowed to loom out of our expectations, mine included. the only boundaries were My Abilities and The Website It Was On. Act 1 represents the earliest stage of all this. my abilities were little tiny baby abilities by that point. and while I go back and forth now on whether the later stages of the story, written when I was 17 and 18, were even all that different from the baby-ness of Act 1 (just with different tools), I can't deny that the creative spark I followed was in fact leading me to a story the world needed to see. (the fact that I have been so isolated that I have not been able to show the world this story, well, that's just circumstance. once it's out there, Rapture's here forever. it will be read. it's only a matter of time.) there were serious ambitions. even in Act 1. Rapture was the story that made me believe in it as I wrote it. and god, do I believe in it now.

/////////

here's that art I promised.

This is my digitization (and coloring) of one of Rappu's final sketches done for Rapture. It's Salmacis/EAT, with a bunch of Camper. I don't think I ever actually showed this one, not even the original sketch, on this tumblr.

Of course, there is no One Big Lady that controls all the Camper. That's Rappu's artistic license, it's symbolic.

But, look at that thing. You're with me on this, right? That's a beautiful picture.

This is a good note to end Act 1 on.

See you tomorrow for Act 2. :) God, I'm so excited.

[livvyofthelake]

what were the biggest differences btwn the book + the movie and did you feel like there were parts the movie did better than the book + vice versa 😋

girl from the summer i turned pretty tiktok sound voice oh my gosh i love this question!!!!!! ok. obviously the MAJOR difference between the novel and the film are the like. tenses with which the story is presented. and by that i mean the book is very past tense and reflective where the movie is very present tense and focused on the ephemeral moment. which is SO AWESOME btw. literally genius choice for adapting. many are not brave enough to do such a thing but thank god luca guadagnino was of our world would look very different. could you imagine if that movie came out and we had to read all that discourse for a movie that was also BAD? like i’m always saying this but at least no matter what we can always look back on that horrible era for being online and think well at least the movie wasn’t bad. but it could have been Very Very bad. can i drop a horrible piece of trivia on you all. actually i don’t know if we’re ready for that nevermind. anyway we move on. so the initial idea for the film was to have a narrator and i cannot even express how glad i am they didn’t do that. i think it makes the performances so much better that they did it all without the crutch of narration. which is not to say narration is always bad but in a lot of book to movie adaptations it really is a crutch and it sucks a lot of the time and it would have sucked a lot here so i’m glad the movie took the approach it did. like. in a book you can get into the protagonist’s mind a bit easier than with a movie but i think the movie makes it easy by really grounding the story in the moment. it’s summer and the world is beautiful and people are hard to connect with and it’s scorching outside but water is suddenly the best thing you’ve ever tasted in your life!! it’s a good movie guys trust me i wouldn’t lie to you. and i don’t even like armie hammer (me and my 12 year long beef i will never let go of. i don’t even know what’s happened with the man recently i know there was some kind of Cancellation or whatever but i don’t even care. he was cancelled to ME already before his career ever even meant anything). who narrated the audiobook which i listened to btw. so we’re all aware of the direness of the situation and just how forgiving and saintly i am. he unfortunately did kinda slay the audiobook it must be said. as much as it pains me to say.

as for other differences. a huge one to me is that in the book when elio cums in that peach oliver literally eats it. the movie was LAME AS FUCK for only having him joke about eating it. literally make him put that thing in his mouth i’m not kidding. another one is how the movie did part three and four, essentially cutting a lot of it for the sake of keeping the story present which we already talked about. but also there was just a lot of crap that happened in those sections that was boring and i liked that the movie was just like yeah they went to rome <3 like real say less! and the goodbye scene in the movie was also muchhh better for the movie i feel… i understand why the book didn’t get into it, because it was meant to feel like they weren’t actually saying goodbye and felt they would in many ways always be with each other if only in memory or whatever. but i liked the finality of it in the movie being this whole Event and he has to call his mom to pick him up from the train station bringing you back down to the crushing reality that he’s still only 17 and despite getting to like play grown up for the summer with oliver he literally still has to go back to high school in a month and he’s sad and he wants to call his mom to take him home… like that was crazy stuff wowie… i love it when timothee chalamet cries in a car. you guys should watch hot summer nights. it’s a terrible movie <3 i digress.

ANOTHER change i wanna talk about is that frankly the movie never gave misogyny vibes to me with how it treated the women in the story. where the book. well i said this earlier but. i don’t think andré cared about any of those women he wrote. elio’s mother in the book is so nothing and i loved how the film made her more of an active participant in both her son’s life and her own marriage. like she’s not perfect and she was never the weirdly omniscient figure her husband is but she’s presented in the film as very loving and kind and real where the book i swear literally forgets she exists. and then there’s marzia, elio’s sort of girlfriend sort of friend. it’s complicated. it’s not like he ever cheated on her that would imply they had an exclusive relationship understanding that was literally never real. that being said her involvement in the book was like. purely sexual and it was odd. now. this is a book about sex in many ways that must be acknowledged like. elio is like. incredibly horny the entire time and he’s so fucking annoying about it and i love him dearly. but marzia is reduced to a Female Body in a way oliver is never quite reduced to a Male Body and it comes off strange. like oh my god elio we get it you’re bisexual shut UP people like you are why people are biphobic jesus christ. that was a joke but also so real. marzia’s involvement in the movie is a lot more like. she’s a person with her own inner life. which i love naturally because it literally makes a narrative more interesting and juicy when the side characters are also human beings. not all men understand this.

my FAVORITE change from book to movie however. the “is it better to speak or to die” scene…. here’s the rundown. there’s a book elio reads about a princess and a knight who are friends but also in love, and she asks him “is it better to speak or to die?” wondering if he would rather die in peace and honor before getting to experience the love story they could share, or speak the truth and face consequences but finally have it known that he loves her and maybe get to experience even a brief moment of being truly known and loved. you guys all get it. you must submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known to get the rewards of being loved!! anyway so elio reads this book and then talks about it with oliver as a subtle reference to what’s between them as friends with the potential to be more. this is like an act one scene btw i should have clarified that earlier but you understand. anyway in the book it’s just that elio reads this book and tells oliver about it and then they spend the day together inching towards Talking About The Implications before they finally get into it. in the movie the book is read TO elio by his mother, which functionally changes nothing about the plot but EYE like way more because we get elio saying to her “i’d never have the courage to ask such a question” and then we cut to him trying to ask it but skirting around it and using the pretense of just making conversation about a book… also i think the movie’s way of doing that whole deal goes harder because we actually get to see oliver react to it. where the book is very elio focused the movie can have a lingering shot on oliver’s face as he reacts to what elio says from ten feet behind him… it’s my favorite part in the movie genuinely but it was kinda lame in the book… if it had been shot in a way that lent itself to the timeless video it would have been in the timeless video but alas :( like that scene is the whole reason they made it into the timeless video for real…. like IS it better to speak or to die!!??? let’s get into it!!!

something i liked about the book though that’s not in the movie is the inclusion of this character who’s like a little girl that lives near them. and she has like cancer or some horrible illness sorry to her i do not remember but she was friends with oliver, and frankly it made him in the beginning so much easier to forgive for the way he acts there. to be fair this was intentional she’s literally written to personify his redeeming qualities in the midst of elio’s hatred in the earlier stages. where the movie didn’t need her because film has the ability to show things a book can’t. but i liked having her hanging around :) her bailey the sisterhood of the traveling pants realness!

i probably have more to say but these are the big things i’m thinking of right now and this is already so long wow. i literally TOLD y’all i was gonna have boatloads of shit to talk about !!!

[obsidiancreates]

Some thoughts/criticisms of Battle of the Five Armies because I'm back on my Hobbit Movies bullshit

Should've put more screen time (and by "more" I mean "any at all") into Thorin's descent into the Gold Madness/Dragon Sickness. A lot of BotFA feels, to me, a bit... meandering. Like they needed to hit a certain length but weren't fully sure how to fill it (and I think that also shows in how it's the shortest of all 3 movies, at least Extended Edition-wise). We go right from "They all watched Smaug die," to "He's been down there for days and he's as Gold-Mad as Thror." We needed more connective tissue between those scenes- even just a scene of Bilbo noticing Thorin is refusing food, maybe trying to convince him to eat ("Thorin, take your share." "I've no need of it." "You can't live on gold alone, you know, heh, ahem." "We shall see, Master Baggins.") or something like that.

I get why Smaug died in the first twenty minutes. I do! There's both story reasons as well as behind-the-scenes logistical reasons (can y'all imagine what these movies would've been like if they'd had Reasonable Deadlines, less studio pressure, and more ethical cast and crew treatment? It would've fixed any of the CGI issues, they could've cleaned up some of the odd pacing and editing moments, none of those awful "QUICK QUICK QUICK WE'RE ALMOST OUT OF TIME!" moments in the Appendices would've existed... Fuck Warner Bros, man. Peter Jackson obviously had a lot to do with a lot of the unethical overtime and expectations and wasted time/effort, but like Warner Bros also contributed to this Massively). Anyway, I get why Smaug died so early into the movie. But god, I wish he hadn't. Now I haven't read the novel to it's end in about 13 years give or take- I keep picking it up, getting a good ways in, forgetting to continue, and then picking it up and starting over at the beginning- but I remember Smaug's death being a very Little Thing in the book, since it was Third-Person limited (mostly) and Bilbo wasn't in Laketown. I know that this wasn't a moment of Inaccuracy (though honestly I don't mind most of the inaccuracies but that's for another post some other time) but it was a moment of Deeply Unsatisfying Payoff. Again, I understand why! It's kinda unsatisfying in the novel too- frankly, a lot of the ending stuff in The Hobbit is, but you didn't hear that from me, got it? I'm not sure, exactly, what I wish was different about it. Killing Smaug at the end of Desolation wasn't really a viable or satisfying option either, and focusing more on Laketown would've gotten tedious and repetitive- only so much Burning and Screaming can be made into Watchable Cinema at one time. I think perhaps a larger focus on Gandalf and his experiences with Sauron could've worked here- especially if Sauron is somehow Aware of Laketown falling and uses this to mock and torment Gandalf, speaking of how the quest of the dwarves has truly failed and Middle-Earth is soon to fall the same way- but again, I understand why they didn't do that, that's just a lot of Ian McKellen sitting in a birdcage getting Taunted by an Eyeball. So I don't know what I would've had them change, and I think a not insignificant amount of this Dissatisfaction is unavoidable given the glossed-over nature of the very same plot point in the book. But it's still saddening, especially since they nailed Smaug so well and he's such a fun villain to watch on screen. Azog... a good deal less so.

Bro we couldn't have had one line where they were like "OH GOD FILI KILI BOFUR AND OIN ARE STILL DOWN THERE!" when they were watching Laketown burn? One show that someone remembered FOUR OF THEIR PARTY IS STILL THERE?!

Some of the line deliveries in this movie were an... interesting, choice, to make into the final cut. I'll chalk it up to Those Damn Studio Deadlines, though.

I know I already talked about this but SERIOUSLY WHERE WAS THE CONNECTIVE TISSUE OF THORIN'S MADNESS, IT AIN'T EVEN IN THE EXTENDED THE EXTENDED IS MOSTLY THE ACTUAL BATTLE (plus the Best Scene In The Movie where Balin alludes to Bilbo to keep the Arkenstone hidden forever, which it's a crime that was left out of the theatrical by the way).

Yeah okay the Kili and Tauriel parting at the shore was kind cliched and acted weird. Again I'll chalk it up to The Deadlines.

If we could've have had the Connective Tissue scene(s), I wish the reunion with Bofur, Oin, Fili, and Kili had been a proper scene and not just a quick cutaway. It would've been a great opportunity to catch them and the audience up on Thorin's condition and how he got to that state, as well as establish how The Company In General feels about it earlier into the movie.

Again, I know why they didn't... but even a hint that the Madness was taking the other Dwarves at least a little bit would've been nice. I truly feel that, by the time of The Ramparts, the party was at a point where at least 1 or 2 of them would've decided to go with Bilbo, and a hint that they're all slightly under the spell of the gold in the way Thorin is would've really made their decision to all 12 of them stay behind make more sense. Yes, Thorin is their king and their leader and their friend and Dwarves are known to be very loyal- but Bilbo has stood in as a leader, rescuer, and friend often enough that I think one or two of the party, in their own fully right minds, would've chosen to go with him, especially after witnessing such a horrific display from Thorin.

The pacing of the movie in general Needs Some Help, that can't go unsaid- but again, Those Damn Deadlines. The amount of palpable stress from the crew in the Appendices is genuinely stressful and heart-wrenching, and I blame the majority of my issues with this movie- and the other two- on Warner Bros being completely unreasonable with their time expectations. Especially since they pushed this 2-movie project into being 3 movies, like Fuck off, Warner Bros.

GOD I WISH MORE OF THE RING STUFF HAD CARRIED OVER FROM DESOLATION. Like again I get why it didn't, this movie kind of takes some of the focus off Bilbo and uses that extra attention on Thorin and Bard and Legolas, which I enjoy. But still, The Ring Moments in Desolation were so good, and the effect The Ring had on Bilbo in Desolation is not unlike the effect the gold has on Thorin- but Bilbo is better at fighting it. It would've been nice to see something done with that, especially as Thorin was falling to madness and Bilbo maybe recognized some of the signs from his own experiences like the one in Mirkwood. But also THE RING STUFF WAS SO COOOOOOLLLLLLLLL I WANT MORE OF ITTTTTTTTTTTTTT

[spooniechef]

Instant Hot Chocolate Mix (1-2 spoons)

I like me some hot chocolate, but obviously it comes with its own set of problems. Lactose intolerance is an issue, though largely I take a Lactaid and bear it. Plus, frankly, the quality of instant hot chocolate mix is not all that and the alternative of making cocoa the old-fashioned way is time-consuming and involves a lot of stirring and who has the time? I mean, especially if you live alone and making enough for one cup is just a pain. Thing is, awhile ago I tripped over a TikTok (whose TikTok name I do not now remember) where the person was making their own shelf-stable instant hot chocolate mix. I saw that and thought, “If she can do it, why can’t I?” and started Googling recipes. I found one on Julie’s Eats and Treats page, but noticed pretty much right away that the actual prep stages needed to be tweaked a little, because for all it’s only four ingredients and no heating, there’s more to it for someone with chronic pain than the recipe makes out. So I’ll provide the recipe, then bullet point a few tricks to turn it from a 2 spoon recipe into a 1 spoon recipe. It’s worth it either way, though; it tastes so much better than the store-bought stuff.

Here’s what you’ll need:

1 cup cocoa powder (use the good stuff)

2 cups icing sugar (powdered sugar is another term for it)

2 cups powdered milk (there is lactose-free powdered milk but you’ll have to go to a health food store or order it online)

1/3 cup granulated sugar

Seriously, use the best cocoa powder you can get hold of. I personally like Green and Black’s. Not really sure what brands are available in North America.

Here’s what you do:

Using a sieve, sift the cocoa powder, icing sugar, and powdered milk into a large bowl

Add the granulated sugar

Stir until thoroughly mixed

Store in an airtight container in a cool dry place

You’ll need about a third of a cup of the instant hot chocolate mix for a large mug of hot chocolate. Add marshmallows or flavouring as desired (a drop or two of mint or orange extract can be glorious).

Sounds easy, right? The thing is, icing sugar is incredibly dense, and sifting two cups of it is painful. That’s on top of the other stuff that needs sifting, and then stirring on top of that. The sifting isn’t optional, incidentally; even smaller clumps will make it harder to properly mix, so you’ll end up with uneven flavour between cups. However, I picked up a few tricks to make the sifting and stirring easier.

Use half-measures or lower where possible. The powdered milk’s okay to do one cup at a time, and the cocoa isn’t too terrible as it’s only a cup, but the icing sugar is difficult do even sifting one cup at a time, never mind two. Sifting the icing sugar in half-cup increments gives an opportunity for microbreaks, and prevents you from having to lift two cups of dense powder one-handed.

Stir the icing sugar instead of sifting. Making your sieve-bearing wrist do all the work just causes more pain in the end, and can be messy if you’re doing a side-to-side sift because the whole mass will tilt in that direction and possibly spill into the bowl unsifted, or just onto the counter and/or floor. Using a soup spoon to stir the mixture around spreads out the wrist action required, and involves less hefting of any kind of weight. Plus when you get to the last dregs and clumps of sugar too big to fit in the sieve’s holes, you can just press them down with the soup spoon and crush them up smaller, which will get those last bits into the mixture.

You can do the same “press the dregs down” trick with the powdered milk and cocoa, incidentally, but with the powdered milk, there will be some tiny hard nodules at the bottom no matter what you do. Just ignore them; an amount that small doesn’t affect the recipe.

Stir with a whisk instead of a spoon. Not only does it mix a fine powder better, but if you stick the whisk into the mix and lift, you’ll get a lot of the powder trapped inside the whisk, including the stuff on the bottom that needs to blend with upper layers. That makes the preliminary blending a lot easier and quicker, and involves less stirring and more of an up-down motion of elbow and shoulder. This should help if repetitive motions cause you problems. (Don’t use an electic mixer, though; those go too fast and you want control or you’ll end up with powder everywhere and the cocoa powder in particular sticks to everything and is a bugger to clean.)

This, like the versatile chocolate fudge from last week, is another one of those morale booster recipes. I find it’s nice to make things just for me, especially when they’re better than I could buy at the store. Nothing says “self-care” like spending part of a good day making something nice to give you comfort during the next few bad ones.

[takaraphoenix]

20 Questions Game for Fic Writers

Tagged by @blairwaldcrf ! Thank you, dear! <3

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

As of right now, 1214 works! Damn, I've been busy :D"

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

Currently at 9,167,371 words, slowly inching toward the 10 million mark!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Oh gosh, the total list is so long at this point, with various one-off kind of deals, or fandoms I've moved on from.

I am currently considering myself an active writer in these fandoms though: Shadowhunters, Percy Jackson, Detective Conan/Magic Kaito, DC Comics.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Sorted by kudos, my top 5 fics are:

How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful (Marvel, Loki/Tony), with 7,945

My College Boyfriend (PJO, Nico/Percy), with 6,353

The Lion's Pride (Voltron, Shiro/Keith/Lance), with 6,163

The Ghost King of Summers High (PJO, Nico/Percy), with 5,600

Percy Jackson, Ambassador of Hades (PJO, Nico/Percy), with 4,985

Which actually looked really fucked up because yeah sure there's four super popular multi-chapter fics of mine. And then there is My College Boyfriend, which isn't just a oneshot, it is a oneshot with under 3k words. What. What.

And the, quite frankly frustrating, part here is that this oneshot only has 24 comments. Not even every 100th reader felt the need to leave a comment. That's just... so sad. Like. Genuinely, I think the kudos system broke commenting because the convenience of pressing a button beat actually expressing yourself genuinely through words and from the bottom of my heart, I find that depressing as fuck.

5. Do you respond to comments?

Always. Every single one of them. Because comments mean something. Someone took the time to tell you, with words, that they liked your work and maybe even what they liked about it.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Ooof, multiple contestants from back in my day when I wrote German fics for the Beyblade fandom and wrote about... darker themes. Not all fics used to have happy endings. I wrote some fics that ended in a suicide, so I guess those.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Impossible to answer, because for as long as I've been active in English writing, all my fics have had happy endings. The guy gets the guy, the girl gets the girl, and they live happily ever after. The world is saved or the evil defeated, maybe there's even an epilogue of a next gen in there. That's my standard, it ends happily. So that makes it impossible to pick one that somehow ends happier than the rest. xD

8. Do you get hate on fics?

loool

Right. Sorry. Yeah. Yeah, of course. Funnily enough, never on the things you would assume attract hatred - the incest, the explicitly non-con stuff.

Nah, I got death threats and words that were somehow worse than death threats on my Oliver/Felicity fics in the DC fandom... a... straight canon ship... but not the canon ship from the multiverse that these vile assholes liked, so, ya know. Threaten the fans who love a ship you hate.

Also over the years, lotta nasty general homophobia for Nico/Percy in the PJO fandom - I have been writing in this fandom since 2010, and yes, there were really a lot of people especially in the earlier years who just hated the idea of making either Percy or Nico gay.

And the dumbasses who declare Jace/Alec incest and thus hate and threaten this ships fans in the Shadowhunters fandom. But still, inexplicably, like Alec. Even though, in canon, he's the one who was in love with Jace. I don't know, but if you claim the nasty, nasty incest is The Bad Thing, I think you should hate the character with the nasty, nasty incestuous feelings, instead of the fans who write perfectly tagged and filterable fics. But that's just me, I guess.

So yeah, top three of hatred I got over the years - but if you wanna read a highlight reel of bullshit hate mail I got, feel free to go and check out my Dear Anonymous Shitheads tag!

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

All kinds of smut? I don't know how to answer this question, to be honest. xD

I've written oral, anal, vaginal, mlm, wlw, m/m/f, rare m/f ships but usually either she pegs or it's ABOverse and she's an alpha, I generally pepper in some flavors of BDSM into it, I've written dub-con and non-con before, bestiality, double penetrations. I have written a lot.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve ever written?

Oh, that is absolutely going to my first ever crossover. Because my usual crossovers are, ya know, that Big Four animated movie crossover verse (Tangled/Brave/HTTYD/RotG), or "I like these two fandoms, how would A's characters fit into B's world/how would B's characters fit into A's world?" for... essentially all my fandoms, and I wouldn't call any of these crazy - because the Big Four crossover is a beast of an own fandom so it's not really "original" or far out there to write for it, and in all my other crossovers, I do pride myself on making it work, like, not just throwing characters together but fitting their backstories and special powers into how the other world works.

So the craziest one is absolutely A Hundred Times Over, which is a oneshot sequel to my first-ever English-written fic and was written as a celebration because it was my 100th fic back then.

The original fic was already a crossover between Detective Conan and PJO, so for the celebration I thought "okay so what if I throw in my current obsession - Doctor Who - and my first ever ship - Shere Khan/Bagheera?". So, yeah, this crossover between Detective Conan, Percy Jackson, Doctor Who and Jungle Book has to be my craziest so far.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

So often. So, so, so, so often.

If you see my fics on watpad or any other platform that isn't AO3 or Fanfiction.net - and if you see them on those two but posted by an author that ISN'T Takara Phoenix - then please, let me know. Drop me a link wherever you can, I always greatly appreciate being told that my fics have been stolen so I can report that person and have it taken down.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No. All of the stealing of my fics has made me incredibly uncomfortable with the idea of my fics flowing around on other people's accounts or other websites, especially since the first like four or so stolen fics I had were translated.

Someone took my fics, translated them into Spanish and Russian, and posted them on other platforms, without ever asking my permission.

I don't want thieves to more easily slip through the cracks in between authorized repostings of my stories, so I have the blanket policy to not allow translations.

If you see my fics in other languages, tell me.

(There is one story that has been translated, but I'm not sure how far it counts, because I did the translating myself, and that's Lass Uns Etwas Dummes Tun/Looking For Something Dumb to Do. It is a PJO fic about Nico/Percy that I wrote in celebration for Germany legalizing gay marriage in 2017; I wrote it in German first, due to that, and then decided to translate it into English since I know my core-audience are English-speakers and not German-speakers.)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yeees!!! With my wonderful, amazing, lovely @kimmycup!!! ^-^

We've written a total of five fics together so far.

Three Shadowhunters fics: Hurting and Healing, a Magnus/Jace oneshot, Three Times the Boys Felt Left Out, a Jordan/Simon/Jace oneshot, A King By Any Other Name, a Alec/Jace oneshot.

A Vampire Academy oneshot about Mason/Christian: The Chance at a Happily Ever After.

And, our pride and joy, our 51k multichapter Shadowhunters/Vampire Academy crossover fic about Mason/Christian and Simon/Jace: Double Puppy Dare.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

That's such a hard question to answer for me as a multishipper.

But to be quite honest, I think I would have to go with Kaito/Shinichi from Detective Conan/Magic Kaito?

It's the ship I've been the most consistently been faithful to and that, whenever I see it, sparks joy. That has proven that even when the fandom's gone dormant for me for months or years, it can reignite into a wildfire, where other fandoms just fizzle out and disappear from my interests then.

These two get me, they've been getting me for one and a half decades now and I doubt they'll stop any time soon.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

All of my unfinished German fics over on Animexx. When the German Beyblade fandom started to die, I tried to cling on, but at one point... when all your favorite writers, all your friends, have moved on? And then I started reading fics in English and soon after, also writing them in English. I feel bad about it, but it's just been far too long now.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Personally, I'd say world building. That's also my passion. I love creating elaborate worlds for my stories to take place in - I mean, damn, for the book series I'm writing, I developed my own language, religion and drew a map of the city it takes place in, among other things. A well-developed world is so important.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Oh, fight scenes and action and other things that...

When a character is good at a thing that I am not good in or know a lot about?

Like, when a character is super quippy and funny, but I am not really a one-liners-person so now I have to come up with quippy one-liners to capture his personality?

Or fighting or science, when a character is an expert in a field that I know nothing about and would not understand jackshit about even if I tried because it's not my wheelhouse? Those things, I really struggle with.

Also, I hate action and fight scenes. Like. That's the parts when I check my phone usually to avoid that my eyes glaze over from boredom. So, naturally, writing these things? Not fun. Not good at it either, imo. But certain fics - or rather, certain characters too - require action and fight scenes.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Painful if you have to use Google Translate. If you know the language? Yeah, go for it! If you have to resort to Google Translate? Maybe just write it in italics and note that it's in x language. It spares both, the native speakers who will die from second hand embarrassment, and the non-speakers who... won't understand it anyway.

But in the cases that I use foreign languages (and usually when I do, it's just... pet-names. Things you can't really fuck up that much and things that people would say in another language even in English-main-dialogues), I always put the translation right behind the sentence, because it's a special brand of obnoxious when you have to scroll ALL the way to the end of a chapter or fic to see what tf you just read, and then scroll back up again.

Hate doing that, so I won't do that to my readers.

19. First fandom you ever wrote for?

Oh, that's Yu-Gi-Oh!, with a hurt/comfort Kaiba/Joey fic.

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

Can't answer that, it always depends on my current mood which of my babies I love the most ;P

Tagging @kimmycup and @justonemorechapternicercy and @fallenqueen2 for this fun! And anyone else who wants to do it! <3