#and i realized that i am actually not . THAT introverted i just. dont love hanging out with the people i grew up with

[caninecowboy]

its honestly . crazy going from my living space where i have my OWN space but also am surrounded by people who support my gender and pronouns to living with my mom who misgenders me 9 times out of 10 and expects a prize for when she corrects herself and to be surrounded by people who make offhand comments about kids with autism and how weird they are like . [im in danger.jpg]

[harley-michaels-main]

Hiii I hope I’m doing this right (tell me if i did anything wrong!) 🤔 I would like a MHA matchup if they are still open otherwise just ignore this ^w^.

Hogwarts House: Slytherin

MBTI: INFP

Sign: Virgo

Appearance: I’m 5’5, have ginger hair and blue eyes.

I am a straight female (she/her)

Personality: i am shy and reserved towards people I don’t know. But once you get to know me i am bubbly and sarcastic. I tend to make mean jokes towards my friends as a form of affection and i like to tease them. I “adopt” people who are really introverted and make them feel comfortable and stand up for them. I am very manipulative to get what i need or to get myself out of trouble. It takes a long time for me to give up on people but once you really hurt me i dont want to look at you again and you are dead to me. People call me cute often which i don’t like to agree with and im very good at guessing how a person feels and how they will react to situations. I love showering people with affections such as hugs, stroking their hair, sending them a message that i appreciate them etc…

Intrests/hobbies: i love writing and reading it really helps me find some peace in the world. I love learning new languages right now i can speak about 4 but i want to be fluent in 6 ^w^. I am apart of a dancegroup.

Thank you! 🥰

Hi love, you sound like a literal angel and I would love to meet you. We actually have the same MBTI and Zodiac sign interestingly enough.

Your My Hero Academia Match Up is...

Mirio Togata

What drew Mirio into you was that when he first met you and saw how shy you were, he thought you were a lot like Tamaki and wanted to make you feel more comfortable around people.

As he got to know you better, he was very surprised to see how different you were from when you two first met.

He loved to be around you and match your energy. He finds your jokes rather funny even though they can be mean. He finds your sense of humor rather refreshing.

He admires that you are able to take care of yourself and get yourself out of sticky situations.

He thinks very highly of you in the sense that you will become a great hero and be able to fight to protect others but also protect yourself.

Mirio realizes that he likes you when you two are just hanging out in the library working on school work. He realizes that he loves being with you at the moment and just relaxing and being kids.

He loves to learn little catchphrases in languages to try to impress you. He often calls you mi amour in the worst French accent that you have ever heard.

You two don't really go on a lot of dates because of hero duty and school, but you two try to hang out and have a movie night at least once a week.

He loves the physical attention that you give him. He is a very touchy person because growing up he had trouble controlling his quirk so he wasn't able to touch people very often.

He will give you all the hugs you want and he will do absolutely anything to give you all the love that you deserve.

Mirio doesn't like that you don't think that you're cute so he will tell you at least three times a day how cute you are until you learn to believe it.

Overall, you two are almost a perfect match. You are there to pick the other up when they are down, and you are always caring for each other.

[halcyonstorm]

Hey! I hope you're well. I started watching AOT and realized that levihan was a ship. And after reading the manga Ive come to the conclusion that they were more than friends if not just friends. Mostly because I saw Levi act with Isabella, a friend and a sister of sorts even Farlan. But with Hange he was just different. And thats what made me feel maybe it really was something more. He was a different Levi with her. All the teasing and the overprotectiveness, the unnecessary sass and hostility sometimes, but that makes me wonder WHY? Why was he like this towards her? And when was the moment he fell for her or decided to befriend her that way that yes I will tease this person from now on. At first I thought its because of how they met maybe but their first meeting was so sweet. Hange seemed impressed by him and he even thanked her for her compliments. I didnt think their interaction would lead to something like this. So what are your thoughts because I wonder alot on this. Also can someon pls tell me why Levi looks at her that way in aot 4 when hange meets the kids with him and says if they dont understand us we'll meet them and teach them. Like. What happened? Thank you !

Hi! I am well, thanks! And thank you for leaving me an ask! I always appreciate hearing what people have to say. I’m gonna try my best to answer your question without going on any tangents lol (but I can’t promise I won’t). This is going to be long.

Mostly because I saw Levi act with Isabella, a friend and a sister of sorts even Farlan. But with Hange he was just different. And thats what made me feel maybe it really was something more.

I 100% agree with this. When I read the manga and watched the anime, I thought maybe Isabel was a love interest (AT FIRST). When I realized she would call him “aniki” (brother) and the way he acted around her (patting her head), I knew there was a different relationship between Isabel and Levi. He saw her as a little sister and was always trying to avoid his two friends from getting into trouble. That’s why he decided for all of them to join the SC after all.

But with Hange he was just different. And thats what made me feel maybe it really was something more. He was a different Levi with her. All the teasing and the overprotectiveness, the unnecessary sass and hostility sometimes, but that makes me wonder WHY? Why was he like this towards her?

I think that the reason Levi had always acted different with her than anyone else was because of their first interaction. It was not in the anime but it WAS in the manga where Hange approaches the trio saying “I was watching you at that crucial moment!” (Not to mention the chapter Hange appears for the first time is called “Hearts” and in 139 we see “...hearts” over her head). At this point, Levi, Farlan, and Isabel were ready to kill Hange since they thought she found out about their plan to kill Erwin. What actually happened was she had seen how cool they all were and wanted to pay them a compliment. Ever since that trio left the underground, Hange was the first person to show them kindness. I don’t think this is something Levi would forget or take lightly. If it were me, I’d definitely remember that moment. I know there is a post somewhere comparing how Levi looked at Hange for the first time vs how he admired the nature outside the walls for the first time. After Farlan and Isabel died, who did he have? Practically no one. It’s my own HC but I’d like to think that Hange stuck by his side. Levi and Hange both have lost so many comrades that they found solace in each other. They bonded through grief I suppose. Also, I think Levi was intrigued by Hange’s personality. Their personalities complement each other: Hange is extroverted, loud, messy; Levi is introverted, quiet, reserved, clean.

When I first saw them, I definitely felt some romantic attraction of sorts. We eventually learn he is a clean freak, yet he has no issue grabbing her hair (which probably was greasy and unclean). Also, I believe that wasn’t in the manga and Isym requested it be added? I can be wrong with that, but I think that if there was nothing planned for their relationship, he wouldn’t have requested it. From the second I saw them, they reminded me of an old married couple. The way they bickered and how Hange never felt threatened by him.

One of my favorite scenes is when Hange enters the room that Levi’s squad is in at the castle.

E: Oh, I’m not sure if I have the authority to help you.

H: Levi, what is Eren doing tomorrow?

L: Cleaning the courtyard.

H: Okay! It’s settled!

See how she doesn’t ask permission? See how Levi doesn’t retaliate? If it were anyone else, I’m sure that 1) someone wouldn't ask that and 2) Levi wouldn’t have responded that way. We have seen all throughout the anime and manga that he usually goes along with whatever she wants to do. Remember in the OVA where Levi grabs her and yells at her? She doesn’t retaliate from his tone either. She SMILES at him. Why? Because he is expressing concern for her. He is showing he cares about her (also he’s grabbing her and bringing her close again). Eventually at the end of the OVA, we see how Levi tells Hange that Erwin agreed to capture titans for experimenting.

And when was the moment he fell for her or decided to befriend her that way that yes I will tease this person from now on… Also can someon pls tell me why Levi looks at her that way in aot 4 when hange meets the kids with him and says if they dont understand us we'll meet them and teach them. Like. What happened? Thank you !

I am not sure if there was a specific moment, but I do believe it definitely developed over time. One specific moment is the one you mentioned later on in your message, “If you don’t know something, go figure it out. Isn’t that what the Survey Corps is all about?” Levi looks at Hange almost in a surprised manner. In my biased LH eyes, it shows that Hange really is a brilliant and wonderful Commander, and Levi is appreciating her and her intelligence. In reality, it is most likely because it is something similar to what Erwin would have said as Commander. In all seriousness, her statement is entirely true. I think we can all learn from and use that statement in our everyday lives. But I think that in this moment, he possibly starts to realize how much he admires the Commander. We can also see Hange taking her own advice in chapter 126? 127? Where she forms the alliance with Pieck. She is not sure how to stop the Rumbling, so she goes to figure out how she can by talking with Pieck. As it turns out, she is successful in forming the alliance.

Overall, I think that Hange and Levi complement each other perfectly. Even if you aren’t looking too deep, I think their relationship is quite obvious. I mean… why would you ask someone to live with you if you didn’t care for them or even love them? I think that this is one of the points that other shippers bring up to break up LH (how L dislikes H or vice versa). Levi didn’t reject her. If Isym wanted him to reject her, he would’ve made him say something similar to Erwin’s “Give up on your dreams and die” statement when Erwin stated his selfish dream and was willing to sacrifice all of humanity for his selfish desire. Hange told him while he was unconscious and “not listening”, and he didn’t reject her. He says “if we run and hide, what will that get us?” and “I know you aren’t able to stay out of the action” when he sees her building the cart. We also see Levi “confess” or “respond” in 132 to Hange’s statement in 126. “Dedicate your heart”?? OMG Do not get me started on that lol.

Getting back on track, the pair is almost always together in the anime. They’re together in the manga panels when they don’t have to be. They don’t even need to speak actual words to communicate. They are the sun and moon, two wings of a bird. Levi is almost always looking at Hange in the official fanarts. We know from the smartpass AU’s that Hange says “he is a good guy” and “he doesn’t say what he means.” That’s why I think they use nicknames frequently. Four-eyes could be seen as an endearing comment coming from him. Also, Levi making Hange chocolates in the Junior High manga?!?!! Oh, yeah, its definitely to shut her up.

Im sorry for the huge tangent but I hope some of this answered your question. I enjoy reading the levihan analysis’ from other blogs. Thank you for reading if you did read this far. Have a good day/afternoon/night <3

[marinetteplztakeabreak]

chloe in my adrininogami roommates au

under the cut bc its a little long (1500 words of notes about chloe in this au)

ADRININOGAMI ROOMATES AU RECAP: its not really an au its just a timejump, Adrien Nino and Kagami are all like 18-19 and roommates, hawkmoth is still out there and lb and cn still dont know each others’ identities, Nino and Kagami know each others’ secret identities but don’t know Adrien’s and he doesn’t know theirs, Nino is at university while Adrien and Kagami are just taking a gap year and working minimum wage jobs and honestly they are all thriving and bffs

Chloe is a music major

At the same university as Nino

i have very little knowledge of the universities of Paris so this is going to be partially based on the American system, im sorry but youre going to have to suspend your disbelief real quick

so the university has a rule where first year students have to live on campus in the dorms

Nino escaped this rule because he is a goshdarn music nerd and quest for knowlege cannot be stopped

There wasn’t even an AP Music Theory class at his high school when he started there but he was like “whats up guys i have self-confidence now and i think it would be pretty nifty if we had this class” and then talked to teachers and convinced a bunch of his friends to sign up for it so now its a class

And thats the only AP Music class and he still wanted to learn,,, so he just,,, started taking online college courses,,, in music theory,,, for fun,,,, the absolute nerd <3

he will ramble excitedly about music history to anyone who will listen and you cant even be upset bc he is so energetic about this

All of this is to say that, by the time he graduated high school, he had already completed a bunch of college classes, so he got to enter university as a sophomore, which is how he is living off campus with adrien and kagami

Chloe, however, is a freshman, so shes gotta live on campus in the freshman dorms and have a roommate

her roommate, by the way, is Juleka

Chloe has calmed down significantly by this time and sucks a lot less. She and Juleka are not friends by any account, but basically, when they were signing up for roommates, they were both like “whelp this is better than rooming with a total stranger, i wont talk to you or bother you if you dont talk to me”

chloe and juleka have not actually spoken to each other since school started,, they pretty much stay out of the dorm room unless they are sleeping and then they stay on their side of the room and do not make eye contact and dont touch each others stuff

and chloe is totally fine with this

just kidding, hahaha, she is sad and lonely and wants to make friends but is terrible at it,,, her models for friendship include Adrien who she knows she messed up with completely and the best thing she can do now for their relationship is avoid him so she doesnt mess it up more,, and Sabrina, who is also refusing to speak to her now and basically taught chloe that the way to do friendship is to like? do their homework or something??

(juleka is vibing and living her best life btw, shes just also an introvert and only goes to the dorm when she is tired and needs to refresh and also chloe is the one acting like they shouldnt talk)

SO,,, chloe is a music major bc she thinks its pretty nifty and fun and also because she is trying to avoid anything to do with her parents,,, she has reached the point where like “be a dissapointment to my parents” is like,, her life goal,,, which is kinda a “good for her” situation and kinda a “holy heck plz get her some therapy situation”

wow we’ve got a bunch of backstory but we are finally to the point of this post

Chloe has several classes with Nino and she keeps accidentally flocking to him because she already knows him from high school and he has such good vibes

Nino is kind of just trying to avoid her,, he doesnt HATE her,, but,, it is chloe,, yknow

but then they get paired up for a group project and the group meets at nino’s apartment, and adrien is not in the building whenever chloe is there, on purpose,, they will be friends again eventually but their friendship is taking a little bit of a break and adrien is still learning how to have boundaries so he’s just doing what’s best for his mental health

chloe is totally fine with this and doesnt miss him at all

just kidding she is lying

BUT

you know who IS just chilling in the apartment while chloe is there

kagami

who is now like 19 and having some actual self confidence and happiness and who is chilling in her apartment with nino, one of her best friends

and chloe gets through the first group meetup at nino’s house and doesn’t spent any time just staring at kagami who’s chilling reading books in the corner (yes she does)

chloe is actually trying her hardest to be nice to the group members and make friends and prove that she can be a good person and a hard worker but she has very little social skills or work ethics skills and is having complicated emotions about adrien and hasnt even realized it yet but she is falling HARD for kagami,

all that is to say that chloe is a little bit distracted from the group project

but anyway they meet up again and this time chloe has done a ton of research and prep beforehand bc she doesnt want 2 be caught offguard made to look like a fool again and everyone is like what the heck, since when does she study things?

and anyway the project goes pretty great

but then

chloe has a goshdarn crying breakdown

because she is experiencing too many emotions all at once

the combination of just,,, university coursework is stressful and living without servants for the very first time in her life and parental issues and not having friends and also literally everything is just aaaa

so she starts crying in her dorm while doing homework while juleka is there but she literally forgets that juleka is there bc juleka is kind of a cryptid

and juleka just kinda stares at her for a minute and then is like “u good”

and chloe tries to pretend shes not startled and is like “haha yeah its fine”

and juleka is like “have u considered getting a tutor”

and chloe, who is stupid, is like “hmm i should ask nino to tutor me but only at his place and only when kagami is home and i should make sure that i look super cute and i need to study beforehand so that i look cool and smart in front of kagami,, i mean,, for no reason at all i just think this is a good idea”

she talks to nino and nino is like “ok i guess i can help tutor you but u have to actually make an effort and also stick to a schedule so youre not there when adriens there bc we are respecting his boundaries and also you need to-”

and chloe is like “great perfect done”

and then she actually does everything nino says

so basically

she ends up passing all of her classes and making friends

literally just because she is too stupid to actually try to talk to kagami

they literally do not have any conversations other than like “hey, whats up?” “nothing much lol” for like,,, an entire year

also chloe does not admit to herself that she has a crush on kagami for that entire time either

meanwhile adrien and nino and kagami are all a little confused bc chloe keeps flirting at nino??? and adrien is like “im pretty sure she likes girls but idk???” and nino keeps being like “hey chloe what’s up, i just got back from hanging out with my amazing girlfriend alya who i am very in love with,, and who is my girlfriend,, who i am dating”

and chloe has literally no idea why he is doing this but continues to flirt at him and subconciously hope that kagami will catch some of her flirting vibes and falls in love with her

so basically

they are all stupid

BUT Chloe and Nino do become actual friends and chloe actually respects him for the amazing wonderful smart talented kind person that he is and he helps her make some new friends and they get to the point where they are a super great study group and she’ll listen to all his homework assignments and proofread some of them when its like finals cramming time and they are supporting each other and their friendship is good

[butterfliesinthenightsky]

hi sweetheart !! may i please req an ateez and bts personality ship ?? my description was SUPER long (I GOT CARRIED AWAY </3) so you can cut my request at the personality part when posting my ship! tysm in advance <3

I’m an ‘03 liner that’s 5’9.5 (basically 5’10) with dark skin, jet black hair (currently in long twists rn!!), and i’m on the curvier side (esp hips and my thighs) !! some of my favorite features are my plump lips (and i have a beauty mark near the inside of my bottom lip!), my long legs (they’re 40.5 inches long and look so good in dresses and skirts <33), my kempt and pretty fingernails, and my eyelashes !!! i’m a virgo (and surprisingly i get along with all the signs, i cant think of a sole zodiac sign i DONT mix well with but i love cancers and virgos <33) ! i’m also an ambivert all the way! i often come off as cold/shy/quiet when meeting new people (one of my closest friends avoided me for a month before meeting me because i looked so intimidating LMAO), but once you get close to me i turn into a goofy (heavy on the goofy im never not laughing) bundle of warmth and love: i will never stop texting them the <3 emoji every morning or buying my friends/s/o their favorite starbucks order when they need a little cheer-me-up. also, lots of people say i’m mature and carry myself well, but around my friends i’m one of the most goofiest people ever (probably bc my face will literally be 😐 one sec and then 🥰 the next second when someone makes me laugh <3)

tysm in advance!!! Have an amazing day/afternoon/evening!

@anpanseok DARLING! I hope you love your ship <3 I'm actually really proud of this one, you'll have to let me know what you think! <3

In ATEEZ, I ship you with one and only demon San!

(I thought you'd like that gif ;) )

Okay, when you were describing all of the things that you would want in the relationship, I thought of San due to how clingy and affectionate he is with the other members of ATEEZ. He is a Cancer, which is good because that is one of the star signs that are compatible with yours. I don't believe that the age difference of four years would be that much of an issue, especially since San acts younger than he is most of the time anyway. I feel like most men are intimidated when their female significant other is tall themselves, but he is tall himself and I feel like the fact that you are taller is kind of one of his favorite things about you? One of his other favorite things about you are your curves, he always puts his hand on your thighs during movie night at the boys' dorm or in the back pocket of your jeans when you two are walking into KQ Entertainment together. When you wear dresses when all of you go out to fancy dinners together, he has to hold himself back because he ADORES you when you wear dresses! You said you're am ambivert, I feel like he relates to that in some form of way, like I feel like there are certain situations where he feels a bit more introverted about. Sometimes Hongjoong has to scold him because he texts you so much, but he can't stay mad at you when you pop into the building with their favorite Starbucks drinks and hand-made lunch boxes for them. Just as you always support his creative endeavors, he always returns it for you tenfold and when you are talking about issues you care deeply about, he gives you his full attention and stares at you lovingly. Not just San, but all of the boys, come to you whenever they are dealing with stress and they just want someone to talk to because you are so amazing at giving advice and supporting them. There was a time when a sasaeng approached you, San, Wooyoung and Jongho when you were doing some late night grocery shopping when another ATINY stopped her, causing an argument and nasty words to be exchanged. Let's just say, you shut that sasaeng down REAL quick when you heard some of the things she said. One day you woke up and found a present that San made for you, a mixtape of all of your favorite songs from all your favorite genres of music, along with a little keychain that had tokens of all of the states you had visited. He wholeheartedly loves you and he makes every effort to support all of your dreams. When he has days off from work, the two of you make a blanket fort in your living room and watch old episodes of Forensic Files and Law & Order: SVU, whilst surrounded by fluffy blankets and a couple of his favorite plushies. His life an idol doesn't afford him much down time, unfortunately, but he always makes time for you and you always have the craziest adventures with not only each other, but all of the other boys as well. Squishy San will want all of the cuddles, have you SEEN how affectionate he is with the other members?! Also, him in all black outfits.... YES, PLEASE AND THANK YOU. One day he was visiting your apartment and he surprised you with matching beaded pearl bracelets and he never takes it off, not even for performances. The boys don't really think nothing of walking into the bathroom to brush their teeth whilst one of the others is showering, that just comes with their busy schedules and their dorm life. Let's just say this: Mingi wasn't able to look you in the eyes for two weeks because he did just that, not realize that you had snuck in and stayed the night, and were currently going to the bathroom whilst San was in the shower. Your camera roll is not only filled with silly pictures of San that you've captured, but of the most magazine worthy, model pictures you have ever been lucky enough to take. He accepts you for all of your flaws, and helps you to try to work on them, however that may be and you do the same for him.

In summary: You both are simps for each other and I AM HERE FOR IT.

In BTS, I ship you with Namjoon!

Another tall boy for you, I got you! You both are Virgos, but I looked it up worried that two Virgos would clash, and it said that they would be very intuitive with each other and would understand each other! The age gap is quite large, I don't know how okay you are with that? I know everyone has different preferences. He approached you first when he saw you at the mom & pop coffee shop/cafe around the corner from your apartment, and he thought you were the most beautiful person he had ever seen. Another man who I don't think would be bothered by your curves (men can be shallow dicks), I think that is his favorite thing (same as San) about you. Not even in a sexual way, I feel like his hands would always end up on your butt without him even noticing. Most of the time, one of the other boys will point it out when all of you are hanging out together, and he will be proud that he has a significant other like you, but he almost might become a shy mess about it I feel like. I feel like he can get jealous, just because you are closest to Jungkook in the group and you often pull pranks on the other members together. There is never a shortage of laughs when all of you are together, pure crackhead energy if I've ever seen it, just non stop jokes and banter between all of you. You were able to get time off from work and were actually able to join them (their managers were surprisingly chill about you tagging along? CONFUSION?) on their tour around Europe and you had so many memories. You actually brought along a Polaroid camera that you found in a little store one day when the two of you were shopping, and you ended up having to buy an extra suitcase on the trip because you took LITERAL hundreds of pictures of all of your adventures and the tour shenanigans. He has childish tendencies, I feel like he would love to play Roblox with you? I feel like he would take a very mathematical approach to building things, that's just the vibe I get from him. He often stares at you when you're doing your makeup in the morning, he finds it fascinating and he even asked you to do his makeup for some of his shows. His makeup artists weren't angry, luckily, all of their staffs absolutely adore you two together. He is all up for adventures, I feel like he would chicken out at the idea of skydiving, though lol. You keep stealing his sweaters, which he low-key highkey is SO happy about because he loves the way that you look in them. The size difference is only three or four inches (I've seen people say he's 6 feet, but then others say he's 6 foot 2, WHICH IS IT?!), so it's pretty easy to sneak kisses from him whenever you want them when you're together. If he sees you struggling to stay awake whilst studying, he'll softly close your book and drag you over to your bed for a couple hours so you can take a quick nap to regain the energy. I don't really know his temperament that well, he has to be rather even-tempered to deal with those hooligans he calls the rest of BTS, so I feel like you wouldn't have that many fights. You both are always striving to help each other to be the best versions of each other you can be. You joined the boys on vacation at a lake house and one night you were having dinner and he blushed after you said something cheeky to him, causing you to say to him, "You look like a cute tomato when you blush, my cutie pie." in front of the other members. Needless to say, he turned even more red and the boys teased him mercilessly for the rest of the night. Don't know how the cooking would go (this boy is a DISASTER in the kitchen), but you would have fun learning new dishes. He would brag about getting a dish right, and you quickly praise him but also say, " and that's why you a big ass head.", causing him to die laughing. He is the very definition of a hard worker, and I feel like he would love being praised and doing the same for his significant other, so I'm glad that you said that you liked the words of affirmation love language, because GET READY. He's definitely been buffing up (I SCREAM WHENEVER I SEE PICTURES OF HIM NOWADAYS), so

his hugs would always be the best things, so warm and comforting. Don't know how you feel about children? We've all seen that VLive where this idiot literally bought baby shoes because he thought they were cute, so I think he would definitely want children down the road in your relationship if you were both comfortable with it. Best father and husband award goes to him.

In conclusion: SIMP. SIMP. SIMP. SIMP. SIMPPPPPPPPPPPP.

[pchangposts]

a melancholic realization.

its about 12 am on a saturday night and i hadnt received a single snap, text message, or fb message today. as i watch all my friends having fun with each other via their social media, it starts to dawn on me where my place in their lives is. ive always been envious of people who have some tight group of friends they can always rely on to hang out with and just have fun together casually. i feel like i was always the kid that people knew and was friends with, but i was never really included in like a “best friend” type of group where people would just hit me up and ask to hang out. that was until i joined PBL and everyone was constantly asking to hang. even though i was introverted, it felt nice to be a part of a tight friend group for once. and then i took that for granted when i started to join APO. 

all of a sudden i started a new friend group with my $ fam and before i knew it, i had drifted away from my old PBL fam. even in their social media stories today, i see them hanging out all the time, going to events together, grabbing routine dinners with each other. part of me thinks, what if i had just stuck with PBL. would i have been included in all these close friend group routines? i definitely do miss these friends right now but at the time i joined APO, i didnt much care about these thoughts because i felt so happy and tight with my APO fam/friends. hung out everyday, went to events together, could hang out with anyone at any given time. yeah, i was happy. I developed some of my closest relationships during APO and im grateful for it. i guess i just wish that it lasted even after college. i see all of them hanging with each other in their stories, with my self absent and uninvited. i appreciate the times i do get invited to big parties or events that are thrown, but at the same time, it feels like those might be the only things i may be invited to in the future. they all celebrate birthday meals with each other and just from simple stuff like that, i just miss being able to casually hang out with them. but i know i have no right to impose myself on stuff they dont feel the need to invite me to, i get it. life after college, definitely gets lonely. it was a lot easier with my roommates in oakland right after college. they were fun, inviting, and very easy to get along with. after they moved out i think i just felt that a part of me left with them. i definitely miss them a lot. i love my roommates right now too, but at the same time, i feel as though i have to tread carefully and hold in a lot of my thoughts. just recently, i was scolded for saying my first thought (which i thought was a very trivial one at that). i felt bad and so now, i feel as though i dont want to say anything as to not start any trouble. i want to be able to hang out with the roomies but theyre all so busy, i feel the house is empty half the time. i find myself alone in my room for periods of time, hoping for someone to message me to hang out or even grab a simple bite to eat. but im starting to lose all these connections and i start to receive fewer and fewer messages every day from people. and its making me think: maybe my time up here in Bay Area is over? anytime someone asks me when i would consider moving back to SoCal, i always proudly tell them, “in several years, when all my friends in SF have moved away”. maybe i was naive thinking that “moving away” had to be a physical connection. i now realize, its more of an emotional connection and if i were to move back to LA, probably no one would rly care? i wish it were as simple as that but unfortunately, i have no one back in SoCal to return to either. everyone in high school had cast me out like a loner and an outcast. that was part of the reason i was excited to move to berkeley for school for a fresh start. guess everything came full circle huh. definitely the one friendship i regret losing the most would be with serena. she was a loyal friend and one i could count on. i just wish i hadnt taken it for granted. i wish i hadnt taken all of these friendships for granted. saw some quote somewhere “i wish there was a way to know youre in the good ol days, before youve actually left them”. maybe if i knew that, i couldve done something different to maintain my relationships with friends. 

lol or maybe im just being super angsty right now because im taking accutane, which are meds known to cause depression. which is ironic cause im taking the meds since i was self conscious and depressed about my acne and it helped get rid of my acne. but yeah, id say if you were to ask me if i was happy with life, i could quite confidently tell you no. ive lost a lot of the meaningful connections with my friends, and it only gets harder to make new ones as you grow older. im not really sure what to do with myself and i dont know how im gonna survive. but watching some throwbacks on Disney Plus is at least helping a little bit. i hope i can be happy again one day. i hope i can read this in a couple years and be able to tell myself, youre gonna be ok. 

[bodiedhorror]

this is all just an introspective so u dont have to read it but like if u do hit that mfing like and subscribe ig

so like i’ve lived in NM for about a year and a half at this point and coming up in may i’ll be 20 which is wild to me, but. i’m starting to come to these sort of realizations ig? just in a lot of areas of my life. 

like fr starters. i was never an introvert, my living situation and mental health issues just didn’t leave me with enough energy to go out and do things so i just kept spiraling into this lonely little hole. and honestly i had really big self image issues, which like. is obvious now, but i think just because a lot of my friends are a chunk older than i am made me feel like i was this tagger along that no one really wanted to hang out with so that made me even more isolated. 

but like. over that year and a half i do feel like i have actually found a place in this dnd friendgroup where i’m at a point where i don’t feel awkward just hanging out with people. like if i want to head over to one of my buddy’s houses and hang out n watch a horror movie i’m fine with it, not just stewing in this puddle of “make conversation be funny prove you deserve your place at the table”. i’m more comfortable and i like hanging out with folks and i genuinely do get energy back from that. i still need time to chill out

AND ANOTHER THING i do genuinely love my job. it’s not something that i could see myself doing forever but i do think i’ll keep cooking after i leave to be a teacher and school’s going. meh but fine i guess but quitting the graveyard shift has also made such a huge difference in my energy levels like. i feel so much better being able to fucking sleep at night. god you have no idea how fucked that is until you do it for a year. my job now is really nice and i do love it. 

and. well. i mean. i have a sex life again for the first time in like three years which. fuck dude i’m already pretty goddamn hypersexual as is so finding a fwb who has the same drive as i do is nice. and i mean i did change my url which mighta been sorta a clue that i’m maybe questioning some sexuality stuff, i’m not sure if i’m just super horny and not repulsed by men or attracted to men? cause i know for a fact i’m attracted to women but i know like. An Woman whos single n also into women and shes a solid decade older than i am. and ik there’s so many goddamn straight men who suck off their buddies and it’s totally feasible to bang someone you’re not attracted to i mean i exist and my parents haaaaaate each other so i’m just not sure where i’m at that-wise. idk i think i’m just gonna float around with the queer label for a minute until i’m decided. there’s also like some kink introspective going around in my brain vis a vis uhhhh yeah i’m a vers i’ve just really hated my body before and being told that i’m really hot is uh sure an ego boost. 

BUT YEAH ANYWAYS SUMMARY: 

i’m hanging out with people and doing really well and i’m happy even tho i’m questioning my identity a touch. i’ll probably stop calling myself a butch lesbian for the moment and settle on bein a queer nb. if u read this uh sorry 

[theoriginaldolly]

I used to consider myself an introvert, but after tonight i really have to question that lol. I went out with 2 of my girlfriends and we were approached by some guys at the bar. They were honestly so nice! Not creepy, not sleazy, and pretty cute! And both my friends are automatically just like... nope, not having it. One of them literally gave the guy a fake name and they wouldnt add him on social media! How are they ever going to make friends if they have walls built so high around them? So i told them after the guys left that i thought they were being a little bit guarded and that they would probably have more fun if they were open to more people and they were kinda just like "ya i know what your saying but.. we dont need friends let alone BOYS" and im just like.. okay, be a virgin forever lol i dont care. But i DO care. Like am i crazy for thinking that their stand-off attitude is rude? And I'm honestly concerned for them lol like they are only hurting themselves and I want them to get out there and let loose and do fun things but they are both so cautious (although they have gotten better with going out and stuff). So we had this whole long convo about it while we were wasted on tequila and i just got so annoyed by it that i honestly wanted to walk away lol. Because for me, its just the best feeling in the world to meet someone new who is actually a genuine person with interesting things to say and life experiences to share! So i go off to make new friends to hang out with since mine were annoying me, and i met a sweet couple and 2 other girls and they were so good at dancing and they were like swaying me around and making me actually look like i could dance and i was just having the best time. So of course, my friends see that im actually having fun and come up to join us and I'm like "oh so now you wanna make new friends?" Lol. And so we all hangout with these new friends for the rest of the night. And the guy, jon, invites us over to his house for the after party and of course my friends are like "oh we wanna go but we should just be lame and go home" and i was like so done with the weird guarded attitude so i wasnt even trying to convince them to go but then the couple was so nice that i guess they succeeded in persuading them to come over. So we actually went to the after party and we had so much fun dancing and talking and all the people were honestly so kind! They really had some great shit to share and we got pretty deep in convo (as one does at 4AM) lol. And even my friends had a good time, so i feel pretty fucking triumphant like ha look what happens when you allow people to be kind to you! You actually enjoy it! And yes thats how i realized that maybe im actually not even introverted at all and i love people lol

[honey-yoongles]

Written BTS ship for btsismy6thkink

Written ship YEEEAAAAS (sorry it’s long)

Hello… it is I, one of your favourite people in the world, I am here for a ship. Also I do apologise for this being unnecessarily long, and disclaimer to you can ship me with whom ever it doesn’t need to be my bias I won’t get mad, but I might get wrecked😂

I mean you know what I look like, but if anybody else reading my ship doesn’t then this is for their curiosity. Brown, collarbone length hair also newly with bangs; blue eyes, kinda chubby but I mean I don’t mind I look cute anyway and I’m 174(coincidentally making me shorter than all the members. I don’t know if this is necessary but I have 3 marks on my body proving how unlucky and clumsy I truly am, scar at my eye(a kid threw a shovel from a decent height, thanks for that you fucking twat), scar on my finger (tried to open a can of dog food but cutting myself in the process), burn on my foot(I spilled boiling water on it while making noodles).

I’ve been struggling with mental illness since I was like 10, I used to have undiagnosed anxiety and depression causing me an inability to talk to people and easily be embarrassed and it then proceeding to my brain driving me to the edge because I couldn’t take it. I’ve been able to control it though, sure I’ve had meltdowns and suicidal thought but it got better for a while… not going to lie it’s gotten worse again but hey, I’m not planning on quitting now.

Okay, so personality traits are + INFJ (advocate, that’s what the internet tells me) + Kind, even to people who don’t deserve it. + Forgiving + Weird + Happy, even with my mental illnesses I am happy. + Funny, like yeah but dark humour + Always hungry + Stubborn(so stubborn I taught myself to ride a bike, I didn’t speak in front of my parents when I was a baby only to myself when I was alone and I taught myself English bc my teacher wasn’t good at it) + Caring + Helpful + Positive

My dream job would be a writer, but frankly I will settle for teacher as the only person who believes I could write is dead and I’m not about to have people make fun of it. I am that one huge tea drinker who doesn’t known when I should stop, I LOVE books with a passion, I want to own every book I read and that’s just how it is. I love makeup which is just a way of expressing myself. I don’t have a huge support system but I got one person I would trust with my life and frankly to whom ever you ship me with they better be alright with third wheeling.

I love horror movies, like sign me the fuck up honestly I could watch them all day, they don’t scare me. However i am jumpy, literally if I drop something and then the sound reaches my ears I jump( lets just keep the anxiety thing in mind, because that is why). I have a little baby(bunny) but her name is literally baby. I love her with all my being because she is my squishy and she shall me mine(get that reference?? Sorry). Also got a dog but I mean we all know I love him. Actually I’m just a giant animal person. One more thing before I lead into boyfriend material things, I have a dirty mind, literally I can make everything you say dirty.

As for S/O, I would be supportive as fuck, kiss them any time of the day not caring about the place, probably jealous but not to the ‘crazy’ mark, the girlfriend who would let them pick the food and not actually complain bc I mean it when I say I don’t care, I don’t lie so I would tell him everything even I he did something wrong I would leave him to guess what he did. In return I would like trust and loyalty, that’s literally all I need… okay maybe like sex but I mean, we knew that at this point.

THATS IT I DONT KNOW WHAT MORE TO WRITE 

@btsismy6thkink ~

Hello to you, my in fact favourite person in the world right after min yoongi ofc lmAO IM SORRy

You asked, and I will deliver! Do not apologize for the length of your submission, it’s not like the one I send you was any better!（≧ｙ≦＊） Also we can’t have you being wrecked! Therefor I didn’t have to think twice about whom to ship you with. （＾ｖ＾）

I would encourage everyone to go and check out her blog, as I personally find her writing very good! (She writes great reactions, fan-fictions as well as ships, and she’s the reason I started doing them as well!)

Once again, thank you for your submission, I hope that you like your ship and the description I put together for you as well! *hand kiss*（*＾3＾）♡

Disclaimer: This written ship will be longer and more detailed than of what I usually do. I got carried away, so this is a one-time thing only!

I ship you with: Kim Namjoon

The first time he ever laid his eyes on you, he got hooked. He found you super cute, standing alongside and having a conversation with a girl he imagined was your best friend. You hadn’t noticed him yet, you were caught up in the gossip between you and your friend, laughing and taking sips from your drink every now and then. He admired you from afar: the way your hair framed your face perfectly, your fashionable outfit and the cutest smile, which he frankly caught himself smiling along with as well. Because he was so intrigued by you, he didn’t notice that your friend had left you alone at your table. This was his opportunity, he would think to himself, as he walked across the room taking the seat your friend had just left. Puzzled by his sudden appearance, you would let out a small sigh trying not to seem interested, when in fact you were the exact opposite. Namjoon would leave the impression of being rather introverted and shy from the first glance you’d send him, but you quickly realized that he was actually such a social butterfly. The two of you would have an hour long conversation about god knows what; he even offered to buy you a drink which you kindly refused at first, but accepted the offer the second time.

Once he got to know you better, Namjoon would admire your kind, positive yet peculiar personality. Every remark from you brought a smile on his lips, causing him to usually flash his dimples that you adored so much. Being just as unlucky and clumsy as you, the two of you would always look out for each other. Once he knew about your past issues and struggles with anxiety and depression, Namjoon would be all over you. He is the worrying kind, and would want to check up on you every minute if possible. He would at times go overboard, but you knew he did it because he cared so deeply for you.

It was no secret that Namjoon was crazy for you at this point, and it didn’t take more than a month before the two of you were officially a couple. Namjoon had written hundred of love songs about other girls and his past relationships, but when it came to you, he was simply just lost for words. You were the kind of girl who deserved the world, and yet he felt like it was impossible for him to put it into words. It was however almost certain that he would manage to write you something personal in the end.

Let us not forget about the shared interests that the two of you have as well. He loved that you had a passion for reading and collecting books, and would always ask you after you finish a piece whether or not you would recommend it for him to read. When you both had the time, he would invite you to different bookstores, buying you whatever book you showed the slightest interest in. On other occasions, Namjoon loved to take you out for either lunch or dinner. He would always suggest going to fancy places with menus on different languages that none of you understood, and although you usually didn’t care where the two of you went and what you had to eat, there would still be times where you would go against his crazy ideas, suggesting something a bit more simple. Another thing that he loved when the two of you were together, was your way of showing affection towards him. The fact that you didn’t care about what other people thought about the two of you, as well as you taking his hand while walking and randomly stealing kisses in the open.

Already after the first day of your relationship, Namjoon had invited you over to their house. He had no doubts about introducing you to the rest of the boys, because he just knew how well you would get along with them. Your positive and kind charisma would attract Taehyung and Hoseok in an instant, and they would quickly become some of your best friends. The fact that you were so good with animals as well, made them invite you over to their place rather often. They didn’t really want to admit it, but you sometimes only accepted their invite to come over just to spend time with both Yeontan and Mickey, and occasionally Holly as well, rather than hanging out with them. Seokjin would also introduce you to Eomuk and Odeng, and allow you to hold and feed them, and watch them climb around in their cage all day. After a while you would also come to befriend Yoongi, who was rather distant to begin with. Once you got to know him though, he was way more open and social when you were around the house. 

[dong-hyucks]

Intellectual ; Hyuk [pt!one]

Characters: Hyuk (Sanghyuk) / Reader / ft. VIXX Genre: Fluff near the end, slight (extremely slight... like you have to squint to see it) angst, College AU A/N: mind you i dont know how college works bc guYs Im fOuRtEeN

Masterlist || 1 | 2 | 3 |

    You sighed, fatigue filling your body and mind. You had been sitting through classes all day and you were tired. Thankfully the day’s almost over, you thought with a huff. Can’t wait to finally go home and pass out. You tapped your pencil on the desk, earning the exhausted glares from your peers. Truthfully, you had never truly been liked at school; much less at college.

    [Y/N]’s really dumb, they’d say, don’t hang around them. Though their words hurt, you didn’t really have the guts, nor the voice to stand up for yourself. Ever since you were in your last year of grade school, everyone had teased you and called you names. Dumb was one of the many.

    “As you all know, there are only two months left of school,” your English professor, Mr. Yoon, said near the end of class. “Now before you graduate, I have a bit of a project for you, as may your other teachers.” Mr. Yoon made his way to the large, wooden desk at the front. “Throughout the year, you’ve explored and learned about the English language. Now, you will take that knowledge and use it.”

    A collective hum loomed over the room. Your peers whispered to their neighbours, each a curious conversation. “You will be writing a story,” Mr. Yoon continued. “It can be as long as you’d like, but it must be at least five chapters long.” You bit back a smile. You always had a love for writing. Your older brother, who had taken Mr. Yoon’s course before, told you about this final project (which helped you choose his class.)

    Of course, you had written stories before. They, however, were in Korean, since you moved to Korea from [country] when you were five. The challenge of writing a story in English excited you.

    “This project will be done in pairs, which I have chosen.”

     Your happiness soon drained. Partners? You didn’t have any acquaintances in this class; no one even liked to talk to you.  “Before you complain, I have partnered you up based on who I think you will work well with.” Mr. Yoon glanced at the class over his thick-rimmed glasses. “You cannot switch partners.”

    You felt your stomach sink as he began to call names. It felt like an eternity before he called yours.

    “[Y/F/N] and Han Sanghyuk.”

    At that moment, you made eye contact with Chaerin, Sanghyuk’s hardcore admirer. She had a frown on her face, which many of her friends caught. Soon, they were all glaring at you whilst simultaneously comforting Chaerin. You gulped thickly, looking down at your lap nervously. 

    You knew who Sanghyuk was, well actually. He had been your classmate since your third year in high school, when he had transferred from Daejeon. Back then, you had a major crush on him. He was sweet, funny, and kind to everyone. Or so you thought. You were foolish back then, liking someone for who they seemed to be; not getting to know them.

    It didn’t take long after he transferred for him to jump on the bandwagon. Then, he too teased you and called you names. To you, he was just like the rest of them. A cold-hearted bully who didn’t care about how you, or anyone else felt.

    From then, you deemed everyone around you as selfish. Rude. Conceited. The list goes on.

    “Class dismissed,” Mr. Yoon said finally. Quickly packing up your things, hastily shoving them into your bag, you rushed out of the classroom, but not before you overheard Sanghyuk talking to his friend.

    Running a hand through his dyed ash blond hair, Sanghyuk frowned. “I can’t believe I have to be partners with [Y/N],” he muttered, shaking his head as he piled up his notes haphazardly. “I’m probably going to have to do the whole project by myself.”

    His friend, Hongbin, slapped him on the back. “Cheer up, man. It might not be that bad.”

    Not wanting to hear the rest of the conversation, you rushed home with a furrowed brow. You greeted your mom with null enthusiasm before trudging up the stairs and into your room. Despite being a college student, you still lived with your mom. It was mainly because you were worried about her health; she always had a weak immune system and as she grew older it got worse. Since she was constantly bedridden, you had to pay for the house yourself, which is hard as a college student.

    Thankfully, at the moment your mom was well. She hadn’t been sick for a few weeks now, but she forbid you say anything ‘in case you jinx it.’ 

    You let out a groan, burying yourself in your blanket. You were not excited about the project anymore, not in the slightest. Rolling onto your back, you stared up at the ceiling in wonder. You could remember laying down with your mom when you were younger, pretending the small bumps and grooves in the pristine, white ceiling were stars.

    Memories like that brought you peace.

    Suddenly, a thought hit you. You shot out of bed and headed for your laptop. After opening it, you started a new e-mail.

    Dear Mr. Yoon...

    Minutes later, you had successfully composed an e-mail expressing why you could not work with Sanghyuk. You also asked to work alone, as that would be best for you mentally.

    “[Y/N]! Come down for dinner,” you heard your mom called. Sighing, you sent the letter and headed downstairs.

    The next day, you received a reply from Mr. Yoon. It didn’t say anything about the project. In fact, it didn’t say much at all. All the e-mail had said was ‘come to class a bit earlier.’ You didn’t question it much. Perhaps he wanted to talk about the project in depth and in person. Shrugging it off, you did as told and came earlier than usual.

    Mr. Yoon was sat at his desk, hunched over the mess of papers atop of it. Knocking on the door to signal your presence, you entered the class. You weren’t used to it being so empty. You were often the last to arrive and the first to leave.

    Looking up, Mr. Yoon forced a smile, circling something, most likely a mark, before turning to you completely. “You’ve voiced your concerns to me about the project, as you know.” 

    Nodding slowly, you stopped in front of his desk. “I just don’t think we’ll be able to work together.”

    A moment of silence passed before Mr. Yoon leaned forward. “[Y/N], your mother contacted me at the beginning of this class.” You blinked, processing the newfound information slowly. “She mentioned that you aren’t exactly a people person.” You mentally groaned.

    As if he read your mind, Mr. Yoon chuckled. “Don’t worry, I’m not a people person either, yet here I am, teaching dozens of people five times a week.” He gave you a gentle smile, “I understand that it may be difficult for you to work with others. Not everyone can, and that’s fine. But as your teacher, I want to help you with this. Working with others is a necessary component in a successful life, something you’re probably tired of hearing.”

    “Both you and Sanghyuk are at the same level in your education, essentially. You both have very different personalities, something I’ve observed in the past few months, but when it comes to class you are both hard workers.” Mr. Yoon began to frown. “I’ve recently been informed that people have been calling you unintelligent.”

    You winced, nodding. “Who told you that?”

    Mr. Yoon pursed his lips, “no one. Anyway, I think this is a great opportunity to prove everyone wrong. I’m your teacher, I know you’re very intelligent. What better way to prove them wrong by getting the best grade in the class?”

    Chuckling, you shook your head. “I don’t think I’ll get the best grade, honestly.”

    He rolled his eyes. “Please, you’ve constantly been in the top three this year.”

    Clearing his throat, he glanced at the clock. There was only a minute or two until students would start filling the large class. “Now, enough of this ‘I want to work alone’ nonsense. Listen to what I’ve told you and think about it, alright?”

    As if on cue, Sanghyuk and Hongbin entered the room. You noticed right away that Sanghyuk definitely wasn’t in a good mood. He wore a major frown and glared at you before heading to his usual spot. Biting your lip, you made your way to the back, where you usually sat. 

    You mentally screamed. You couldn’t believe that you actually had to work with him for two months. 

    Soon enough, class was dismissed. Before you could bolt out of the room, you were stopped by Hongbin, who had grabbed onto your arm. Your heart began to race, your introvert self coming out. Apparently, your panic showed as Hongbin quickly released you, keeping you close however.

    “Calm down,” he said, raising a brow. “Hyuk just wanted me to stop you. He wants to start today.” Hyuk? Chuckling at your confused expression, he clarified. “Sanghyuk.”

    “[Y/N].”

    You jumped, turning around to face the voice, only to be met with someone’s chest. You stepped back and looked up, making eye contact with Sanghyuk. Only then did you realize just how tall the man was. “Give me your number.” He had his phone held out.

    You blinked. “I beg your pardon?”

    Sanghyuk rolled his eyes. “We’re partners for this project. We’re going to need to meet up at some point and we can’t do that if you’re so unwilling to communicate with me.” You flinched at his tone, along with his words. Muttering under your breath you took the phone, choosing to ignore his background, and added your number in his contacts. 

    You had to refrain yourself from snorting at the amount of girls he had in his contacts with the skull emoji next to their names.

    There was an uncomfortable silence as Sanghyuk typed something into his phone, both you and Hongbin watching him awkwardly. Your phone dinged. Taking it out, you scoffed at the message you received.

    “I’ve got to go,” you mumbled, adjusting your bag’s strap on your shoulder. “Just text me when you want to meet, I guess.” 

    With that, you were off. Seconds after you departed with the boys, your phone dinged once again. 

    (123) 456-7890 ; now     Today at 6. Text me your address

    You rolled your eyes at his straight-forwardness and kept on. “Hello,” your mom said from the kitchen once you got home. 

    “Hi,” you replied as you took off your sneakers. “Someone from school’s going to be over later for a project.” Reaching over to kiss your mom on the cheek, you headed up the stairs, sending your address to Sanghyuk as you did.

    It wasn’t long before Sanghyuk arrived at your house. Your mom had made a huge deal about it, evaluating the male once he took a step into your house. “He’s a looker,” your mom had said, much to your chagrin. You could’ve sworn, Sanghyuk blushed when she said that.

    Now, Sanghyuk sat in your room as the two of you brainstormed in silence. You had both agreed on a realistic plot line, though you had no idea what the plot line was. “What about a college student struggling to make ends meet?” Sanghyuk suggested after a while. “It’s realistic and definitely relatable.”

    You bit back a sarcastic laugh, “I can definitely relate,” you mumbled under your breath.

    “What?”

    Shaking your head, you sat back on your bed. “Nothing. Let’s do that.”

    Hours would pass, with you and Sanghyuk plotting out most of the story. By the time it was nine o’clock, all that was left to plot was the ending. Before you could even get to that, a knock sounded at your door. “Come in,” you called.

    Seconds later, your mom poked her head in. “[Y/N] dear, you haven’t eaten yet.” You nodded in confirmation, the feeling of hunger only just settling in your stomach. “Have you eaten yet, Sanghyuk?” she asked with a small smile.

    Sanghyuk straightened his back with a small shake of his head. “No, not yet Mrs. [L/N].” Your mom looked as if he had just offended her. She entered the room completely, hands on her hips.

    “Both of you need to eat to function properly, you know.” Despite her scolding words, her voice remained gentle, something you loved about her. “[Y/N], be a dear and come help me bring up some dinner for the two of you.” She paused. “Sanghyuk, are you allergic to anything?”

    When he shook his head no, she beamed. “Great!” she exclaimed with a clap. “[Y/N], come.”

    You put down your pencil on your desk, quickly escaping the room. You hadn’t even noticed that three hours had passed. Working with Sanghyuk was surprisingly easy. 

    While you prodded around the kitchen, your mom gave Sanghyuk an apologetic smile. “I would like to apologize on [Y/N]’s behalf.” Sanghyuk furrowed his brows. “They’re not exactly the most outspoken person, if you couldn’t tell. They’ve struggled quite a bit for as long as I can remember with speaking in front of others.” 

    Sanghyuk’s eyes widened when she began to bow her head, standing up immediately. “You don’t need to apologize,” he rushed, “working with [Y/N] has been great.” He reassured her. That’s a lie, he thought, it’s been awkward as hell.

    At his words, she looked as if she were about to cry tears of joy. “That’s good,” she sighed, “I’m always worried that [Y/N] will grow up to be alone. After their dad left, she couldn’t make any friends, sadly.”

    When she heard you call for her from the kitchen, she excused herself and left Sanghyuk alone. He frowned, thinking about what your mom had said. Before he could come to any conclusions, you re-entered the room, hands full with plates of food.

    Silently, he stood up and took the plates from your hands, placing them on the desk himself. You raised a brow at his sudden kind behaviour. “Did my mom tell you something?”

    Sanghyuk thought for a moment and he thought hard. “Can you tell me something?” he mumbled after a while. In response, you sat down and leaned back. “When I transferred all those years ago, everyone told me to stay away from you because of your intellectuality. How, or rather, why did that start?”

    The room went quiet. Sanghyuk kept his eyes glued to a grain of rice on the plate, unwilling to look you in the eye. After what seemed like forever, you opened your mouth to reply.

    “It started because the people around me are blinded by their selfish desires.”

[lewishamada]

Panda's Past (a oneshot)

((so, i am not used to write some fanfics, because im used in drawing mangas and comics so pls bear with my wrong grammars here.. English is not my first language haha)) This is also includes in the list of my upcoming working comics :) --- It was an ordinary morning with the bears. The wind rustling in the iron branches gently scratching Panda's window. Panda, rubbing his eyes got up and fix everything and just turned into his cellphone. Scrolling up to refresh, a new total number of likes: 0 Panda may be used to this kind of situation but it may never settle less. Opening his door, and his big footsteps were heard walking to the bathroom. Ice Bear, the one who got first woken up, flips the pancakes and frying the eggs. "Oh good morning man, what's for breakfast" Panda said in a hoarse voice uncertainly saw what Ice Bear cooked. "Pancakes, Fried Eggs, and Bacon" Ice Bear replied in his usual tone, flipping the pan and the shizzling sound of oil can be heard. Panda headed to get his contact lenses and carefully placed it in both of his eyes. Panda can now see clearly... his image in the mirror, seeing the black spots in his eyes and he felt happy despite of having 0 responses and likes in his new video in Everyone's Tube and instantly wears his smile and saw Grizz went out of his room. "Hey bros! Good morning!" Yawning and stretching his paws out and went immediately to the kitchen table. "Ice Bear will go to bathroom... to clean" Ice bear said in the same voice and carefully handed the brush and the detergent. Just a typical day for the bear as it is. But something is bugging Panda's out. A small conversation is in between Panda and Grizz after eating "So Pan-pan, i just remembered why i got hooked with that giant burrito man" "So-so... what is it? Is that even have in connection in what are we doing now?" "I mean like, when i was a cub, It was a stormy night and the thunder crackles—" "Dude wait—" Panda pause for a few moment reminiscing something inside his mind, gently opening his mouth and spoke some few words: "I should post this with the hashtag Throwback Wednesday" Grizz interrupted with a stomp in the kitchen table and all of his food went anywhere... Its actually a total mess. The bacon prepared by Ice Bear is in the floor. Waiting to get it back, Grizz immediately chomps the bacon and leaves a burp. "Panda, let me finish please. Oh c'mon man, it's fascinating!" "Okay Grizz I'll listen okay okay" "It was a stormy night when i climbed a tree, I dont even know how I climbed that thing but somebody help me out of it—" "Wait wait! Is that us?" "Man, no!" "Okay okay" "The fireman helded his hand at me and telling me to trust him, when I hugged his arm, i feel comfortable in a state where all of my fears were gone" "So did you just think that Burrito is also the fireman's arm?" "Yes. Thats it!" Grizz went back to his room and go on a surf. Immediately, Ice Bear has finished cleaning the Bathroom, and it's ready for use. Panda, alone in the kitchen table, staring in the ceiling seems like he's thinking deep. Ice Bear went on his front and gently got his Vaccuum below Panda's feet "Ice Bear needs that vacuum" "Oh sure bud, ta-take it" Panda lifted his little toe above the chair. The chair creaked as he bent his self to help Ice Bear got the vaccuum. Panda again, as his usual habit, surfing the internet finding some good things happening. Panda is a one kind anxious bear, actually he really is, since birth. With his body and system full of requirements to interact with the everyday life. Full of allergies including his severe allergies to peanuts. In a moment Grizz went out in his room and shouted. "Ohhh guys! I saw something here in the internet! The voice trembles Ice Bear since he is in front of Grizz. Shaking, falling and shivers. His eyes were in total shock for what Grizz have done, but all of these is just normal to Ice Bear... Like seriously, he's acting nothing happen. No one can blame that he is introvert in nature.. Grizz, in a total shock hold Ice Bear's arms and helping him to stand up. "Sorry dude, I think I just screamed so hard! Oh well man, you are fine now" Grizz scratching his head pleaded for forgiveness, and as Ice Bear patting his shoulders and rubbing his nape, scratching his legs. "Ice Bear is ok now" Grizz in a relief, continued what he wants to say. Fixing his self. Clenches his fist and shows the laptop. "Pan-pan! Look at this article about Pandas!" Panda, amazed about what he heard, jumped in into Grizz' side, rushing in an instant. Ice bear also takes a peek from the laptop, gently squeezing himself from the bears. In the article shown, Grizz read it aloud, but not that loud. Loud enough to be heard from 500 meters radius away from them. "So, I'll read. "Pandas are racoon-like animals, but they are bears—"" Panda, in anger interrupted what Grizz has read, and immediately corrects them. Ice Bear and Grizz left in silence while Panda is having corrections on the article "Pandas are not half-bear, half-racoons! The-The'yre just bears with spots!" "So they're giant racoons?" Grizz replied in astonishment and confusement. Ice bear and Panda look at each other and trying to understand if it's a joke or if it's serious. "C'mon man! there is no such thing as Giant racoons!" Panda said in a clear voice, raising his arms like for sacrifice. Ice bear joins in the conversation, steps forward in a second. "Ice bear thinks Pandas are racoons" "Even you bro really thinks pandas are racoons? C'mon man! You and grizz do'nt understand me!" Panda, in a high voice, yells in front of the bears, and rush outside of the house. Angrily forced the door shut leaving the door a big BANG. Panda went into the wilderness "Pan-pan do'nt go!" Grizz cried aloud. "Let's go dude! let's find Panda!" Grizz and Ice Bear immediately gets out of the house and tries to find Panda. --- "Pandas are not racoons. Are they racist? Like, I am a bear okay—" Panda is taking a rest in the shade of the giant tree. Gentle breeze scrapes his fur and unexpectedly, a tear drop in his own very eyes. Panda is crying. He went up and fix his self, patting his tail for some dirts, rubbing his eyes and carefully opens his cellphone. A notification popped up in the screen of his phone, as he reads that message, he thought of something worth done if he leaves the cave. What if he will make a new life alone? Without his brothers? Panda knew his side, and he also knew that he is over acting. He forcely closed his eyes and think. But all of the things that pin him down is going inside his head. A bit of diziness is unto him. And he falls to the grassy ground. A fall that lead him where his past is lurked within. His greatest fear, the memory he wants to forget. -- The puddle of rainwater is clearly seen in a rainy night sky. The loud noises from the above is the only tool that can make little panda to trek the road all by himself. Soaked, filthy, stench smelling animal, walking alone in the rainy evening. Little Panda is struggling in pain. A thorn of a certain plant, is buried under his toes. Bleeding a little, but surely the pain lies inside. Earlier, he was in a trouble with some racoons, and jumped into rosebushes finding a good place to hide. But this is not what is happening, the reality is unfair. Being a new visitor in New York makes sense since he's from China. Went into a trip from an airplane to immediately place him in the zoo, but panda thinks this is not helping him realize the fun. Instead, he has the will to get out of the cage and find a new life. He realized that having his brothers in his life really makes him think that life isnt challenging, you will actually need some bud to carry you on. A bud that sleeps in the ref, in a messy bedroom, and a bud that is his brother. -- Panda opens his eyes, and a bit of blurry can be seen, although he already has his contact lenses. His head, aching a little that much, is not in his business. Panda immediately gives a warm hug for his brothers. He, trembling with embarassment pleaded for sorry. "G-guys, I'm so sorry about what happened" His eyes, starting to flow with some teardrop, shakes and wants to eject and makes him cry, but Grizz hugged him tighter that makes him lovable and cute. Grizz, in a replied, also asks for forgiveness. His paws are hanging a bit wanting some handshakes, but Panda also gave something. It's a picture that says "Pandas are racoons" "Ice Bear does not believe with that things" Ice Bear, enters the conversation with a suspicious look in his eyes. Clearly seeing that Panda is contented with his brother. He hugged them so hard that even Grizz cant feel his tummy. "I love you guys. I wont leave you again"

[serenavonromvesen]

September 21st, 2019.

I really don’t know where else to vent but on tumblr. I have always used tumblr as an outlet for venting and I’m reaching a point where I really just need to write out how I’m feeling, without cramping my hand writing with pen and paper.

I feel really lonely as far as friends go. I have an AMAZING group of friends, but so many of them live far away. I have my tribe and I feel I will always have that, but its never the same as having lady friends, I literally have like three or four ladyfriends that I can actually hang out with in person, and only one of them is someone I didnt meet through my boyfriend first. its not that I have anything I want to share behind him, its that I always feel like on some level they’re always more his friend than mine- and at that, I didn’t choose most of them to be in my life, they were given to me. don’t get me wrong, I’m SO grateful for anyone I do have currently in my life. I just don’t have any friends who truly understand me, and especially not that are into the things that I am. I would love so much to be able to be friends with another tattoo model in my area, and ACTUALLY genuinely have a real friendship. I emphasize ‘genuinely’ because this industry is FULL of backstabbing bitches that would throw you in front of a bus to get one more step ahead of you. I just want a girl I can hang out with all the time SO bad. and the one person here who is awesome, works like ALLLLL the time. it sucks pretty bad when you only have one true friend and they end up getting way too busy for you. she’s supposed to move away anyways she said, so I guess I better get used to it now anyways. I’m just so sad of having no girls to actually hang out with. Skyping with my best friend is great, but it just isnt the same- and a lot of time I do get put aside compared to actually going to hang out with people anyways. which i dont have here.

now, I’m SUPER introverted, nervous, shy, socially awkward AND anxious, and sometimes I have a hard time making normal conversation. in fact, I am always secretly bothered by the fact that I’m PRETTY SURE i have some form of Autism, but I would never actually say that I am being diagnosed, but I am terrified to find out. I once emailed a place to ask some questions and set an appointment, but I never heard back.. that was i think last year. Anyways, I don’t want a ton of friends or anything. I dont want to hang out every day- it’s exhausting. but I still want the option to be able to call someone up in those rare days where I do feel like going outside or seeing people, to actually have fun. I used to have that in New Jersey, my group of girls that I hang with an we all really support each other. I miss them so bad. I am SO homesick for like, the last two years now. I try not to think about it if I can help it, but I miss my friends, I miss my mom.. I hate that I’m missing my baby cousins grow up, I hate that I’ve FINALLY made a connection with some of my cousins and now I’ll rarely ever see them, I hate that I can’t do body suspensions more often, I hate that I don’t get to see my brother Sean when he visits... but most of all I do HATE New Jersey and could never live there. I just wish so bad it hadn’t been like 4-5 years since I’ve seen my friends and family. it hurts. I’m so homesick for just the strong friendships I have.

I just...know its possible. I know its possible to have the small group of friends I want. I just wish girls weren’t so...mean and competitive. I just feel so lonely. I feel like I don’t have anyone to hang out with thats a female. why is everyone so far away? I’m home alone all day every day. you’d think a puppy wouldve made me feel less alone, but really I’m a thousand times more stressed than ever. I wanted to move for a fresh start, to breathe, so enjoy peace...and as soon as I got here everyones over all the time and it just reminds me how I dont have friends of my own, and how my friends dont come to visit me, and how I never get a second to myself. I finally got the chance and heres this puppy. i love him with my life but I AM SO STRESSED!!! I’m with him 10-14 hours a day by myself and then half of the time I’m still the one dealing with him at the crack of dawn, too. I never get time alone unless he sleeps and then I have to walk on eggshells to not wake him up- AND I DIDN’T EVEN FUCKING WANT THIS!!! when I was forced to give up my other pupper, Hades, I said I never wanted a puppy again because IT IS TOO MUCH FOR ME. it puts me on edge and greatly disrupts my bipolar. i literally CANT handle it. I said I would get a dog no younger than 2 years old. I wanted a border coli so bad, maybe even a doberman because I still miss my old dog Max SO MUCH! I like bigger dogs and never really was a big fan of little dogs. I like a dog I can give a whole ass hug to, and feel protected by when I walk alone down a street with him. but no, Michael had to choose, he wanted a puppy, he wanted a small-type pure bred dog which means it’ll be twice as expensive twice as often with vet visits. but he wanted it. he insisted. and now, here we are, just like scooping the litter boxes for all 4 cats, its pretty much almost entirely left on me to do. for so so long I told myself “well he works and I dont really work, I’m home all day and hes not here much to have the time for it.” but you know what I realized? That when I worked full time at Starbucks, or when I worked two jobs at both the Smoke Shoppe AND Spencers, that I still put in the same amount of work as all of this- I was still expected to do all of this. at that, I am SO SICK AND TIRED of him asking me EVERY FUCKING DAY “will you mop today? will you do the laundry? will you do that dogs medicine? will you change the cat boxes?” periodically throughout every morning. like oh, I didn’t realize that I was a fucking 4 year old that needs direction on needing to do basic fucking cleaning tasks!!!!! the only reason I dont get to half that stuff most of the time is that I’m annoyed as fuck at being told what to do / treated that way, and that by the time he leaves for work theres been a whole fucking list of shit lined up that I now feel EXPECTED to do before hes home from work. it literally aggravates me SO MUCH just typing about it because im so fucking pissed off that he does this EVERYMOTHERFUCKINGDAY. it makes me feel angry and completely overwhelmed and then I just spend my entire day dreading it then rushing to do it right before he gets home from work. I just fucking hate it. like I’m fucking 25 years old, I know what the fuck to do to keep the fucking house clean, thanks.

at that, between the no friends, the fucking belittlement of being given a verbal list of chores every day, and the stress from puppy I absolutely did NOT ask for, I am feeling so depressed. I wanted a new house so I could ENJOY it, but instead any moment in my backyard is spent trying to get the puppy to stop eating random crap the people before us left- like glass, I cant enjoy how the inside looks because theres puppy training pads all over the floor which the floor is always dirty because of being in and out of the house with the puppy, or just even a moment of peace at all. like literally this defeated the whole entire purpose of wanting to move. its still a gazillion times better than the trailer, I still totally love this house, but because of my stress and loneliness level, I feel nearly just as depressed as before.

what doesnt help is lately Michael has been SO negative abut things. it’s like when I finally am enjoying myself, he comes through like a wrecking ball being negative, depressing, unsupportive, argumentative, and just plain giving off vibes that make me feel so down. He still makes me feel super happy like 98% of the time, but it is such a downer when hes being super negative about EVERYTHING. or when he gets my hopes up about things and then goes back on his word. he LOVES to tell me yes to shut me up then saying no when it becomes real, a mega part of why I haven’t gotten to visit my family in 4 years. and then he makes me feel SO bad about it. he has no problem bragging to everyone about a vacation, but when its just us suddenly its “I have to do this on my own” and “it’s expensive” like really? thanks for bragging about it for two months, waiting until we have it a month away to tell me its 100% on me to plan it, then complain about everything I tried to plan, WHILE making me feel like a complete and utter loser that I’m a failure at everything I try to do so now I don’t make any money. I literally fucking hate myself again. that’s where I’m at. I’m starting to find my body, my hair, my face- all of it repulsive. I hate how I look. I hate my hair and how my dreads are all lose, but I have to ask him for money to be able to fix my hair. he always tells me just ask and it isnt a problem but then when I do want to do things he makes me wait ages and puts it off or flat out complains- or if it all goes smoothly he throws it in my face the first fight we have. I just feel like such a fucking loser, that’s getting uglier by the day. and when I finally worked up the courage to go to the gym, its like pulling teeth to get him to go- I’ve been asking for a year and we STILL haven’t gone. I want to be a breakdancer SO BAD and I’ll never get to do that if I can’t go to the gym to work out. he tells me to just go but he doesnt understand that being a woman alone in public these days you’re at extreme risk of being raped and 10/10 multiple dudes will trying saying gross things and hitting on you/catcalling. I wish so so so so so bad I could go out for a day and have not a soul talk to me or look at me. what a dream that would be. I just cant go alone. its literally dangerous. scary.

I just feel so STUCK. I want to make money so I can contribute to the house and pay for what I need MYSELF. I never ever liked being someone who fully depends on someone like that. hell, a decade ago I refused to let anyone even get me a simple drink from a convenience store. it still feels uncomfortable to have to be like this. I want to be able to take care of myself. to know that if it was just me that I wouldnt just...be out on the streets. now I’m getting married and its a great relief that thats a less legitimate fear, but I still want to be able to take care of myself so that I could help my babe. he works SO hard for us and spends SO much money taking care of us, I just want to be able to pay my part of that and make HIS life easier, so that we BOTH can do more things that we like instead of just paying bills till the next check. I feel so useless and worthless. but everything I try to do I just fail at, or I’m too depressed and just lose the passion for it. or the will to do nearly anything. I really thought moving was going to change everything for me but... I feel nearly just as depressed. the environment change has definitely helped but, it didn’t suddenly cure my depression like I hoped for..

I just feel so alone, in like, literally everything I try to do. I feel like I don’t fit in anywhere. when I do think I fit in, it just turns out to be a delayed rejection. I swear I get screwed over and stabbed in the back more often than anyone I’ve ever met in my life. I’m easily forgotten and definitely easy to fuck over. I just wish people werent so hateful and selfish... all I want is to have female friends I can actually hang out with, have some help with my puppy, to talk to my fiance without him thinking I’m having an argument, to workout so I can dance, and to do something I love that makes me happy that I can make money with. I feel like I failed as a model too. I make all these plans and then.. I can never accomplish them. I often think, is it worth it really? to compete with all these girls when I dont care about competition? to be screwed over because I’m an opponent to everyone I wish I was friends with? to try and build working-relationships with photographers who seem to forget about me before I even get my pictures back? to not be paid for modeling when I spent tons of money on clothes for shoots? to not have my name out there after a year and a half? to not even be able to find a photographer that wants to shoot for publication? or be told I’m not inked enough to shoot again (the day after I got tattooed?)? I just feel like a failure. I spent over a thousand dollars on clothes for shoots, plus all traveling expenses, to have only ever profited $50 one time and then never get my edited photos back. I just feel like I’m not worth anything, that I can’t contribute or make money without making myself excessively unhappy working jobs I hate- only to be belittled there too.

I don’t even care about social media anymore. I don’t care to check instagram or post on it. why? so I can spend two hours doing makeup so I could post a selfie to write another caption telling everyone that “one day” I’ll do more? what’s the point? If only I had someone I could invite over to talk to about it :( I just feel so...unexcited by everything. like Stan in the episode about shit. I’m bored, I feel gross, I feel lonely, I’m overwhelmingly stressed, I’m growing to hate myself again, and I feel like I don’t have the positive influence I need to get better. I WANT to get better, I just need help and I don’t have anyone I feel I could reach out to that could actually help me. I just really need a friend...

[sociallyawkwardoverthinker-blog]

To Start Things Off

I have a lot of thoughts, some covering how my anxiety has taken me over to the point where I have to rely on a site and my unconscious rant-typing to release the level of mental stress I have accumulated over such a short span of time, while other thoughts are of me and my experiences, mainly at school.

To start things off, let me introduce myself. Hello my name is Godwin Caseres (Formerly Trace-Erick Caseres before 2003), Filipino-Male, born somewhere around 1999 according to my birth certificate with no specified actual date (twas a foundling you see), but to make it somewhat understandable, im 19 and in Senior High, one of the most anxiety filled sections of my life (aside from my moments in grade school which might be covered somewhat on this thing.)  

I dont know how I do it, for some reason trouble and being socially awkward just follows me around, my grade school years were some what better than that of today, at least im sure about that, even if I dont remember much of my childhood years. So. Senior High, stressful, no. Education to me has never been more stressful than grade school years where the only thing I had to worry about was my capacity to impress my parents, that and making friends, a skill which I have utterly lost to the confines of what ever socially acceptable act of the past I went through, nowadays I’ve figured out what works well for me, light reading and constant listening. Im an Audio-type of learner, never was the type to look at people in the face as they spoke, maybe thats one of the reasons why people find me so awkward, or maybe its because im introverted, less out going compared to some people like, Nico or Sher (both my classmates in the Humanities and Social Sciences track). Recently i’ve found myself as an outcast, or a visitor of sorts. You know how at school people make small groups of friends? I dont have one, but you will find me at almost every group you’ll find. The Creative people group, the group of Nico and friends who are mostly people with the same thoughts as mine but more interesting and open-minded, aside from a few, still they’re great people. The All Male fuck the world group, or as they named it ‘Kantos’. I used to join them alot, I just kind of felt like even more of an outcast because of how much I had to snoop just to keep up with what was going on because I was the only HUMSS (Humanities and Social Sciences) student and they were mostly ABM (Accounting and Business Management), now I only hang with them when they call for it or if we play basketball, a game im still trying to get better at. I also hang with The Intellectuals, or the group of honors people who look out for each other, mostly male but still, smart people who are friendly at the same time, I hang with so many small groups, even with a group called ‘Team Kuys’ which is comprised of my old Classmates before I went a year ahead of them because of the bridging program, now Im grade 12 and they’re struggling in grade 11, but the most recent group i’ve found myself in, is Borjings, funny name I know, but I love the people in it so much, they used to be an all girls group till I crashed one of their parties once and well, they’ve sort of adopted me in a sense, I love them, each and everyone and I cant believe that we only have a few months left before we part ways and head off into our choices of college where i’ll have to adjust to the random people im with once more. But yeah, i’ve jumped groups more times than I’ve switched sections and that’s hardly a feat, maybe thats the main reason why I’ve been feeling like an outcast lately, I feel like I just dont fit in, but maybe its just me overthinking, hence why I made this tumblr thing in the first place, to remove myself of thoughts and put it to writing as my Psychologist (not a psychiatrist) had suggested of me to do, apparently not only am I a compulsive liar when faced with a situation that underhands my outlook of myself but im also Phronemophobic (fear of overthinking) I didnt even believe a phobia like that existed, I thought I was just being dramatic, and its still our 3rd session, I dont think I regret paying 1500 per session, specially now that I know more of myself and how I act around people, the logic of it all. I feel like I should be more open to them, the people around me I mean,  but I ask myself how. Hence for now I’ll start with Kate and maybe a few people whom I trust. Kate is one of the few amazing people in Borjings I’ve told her more of myself than my parents…parent- knows of me and I trust her, and her judgement alot, wether she believes if sharing my thoughts to others is something she should do is completely up to her and I allow her to do anything with what she knows, but I know she’ll be there for me, and I hope she realizes how much her few moments of random talks and rants mean to me, even if I just listen, it makes me happy to think that people actually trust me enough for them to ask me to listen, but now I need the one who asks people to listen to me, even just once specially since now I feel we’ve run out of time.

[the-mayor-of-space]

Yo dog, you want to be busy for the next two hours? Do all the placement ask prompts :^)

oh boy heres another one. L E T S A G G O

sun: what makes you feel like you? - space, and the color purple, and comedy that is either slightly sassy, self depricating, or that toys with how much both parties know what the other is thinking.

moon: do you have problem with trust? - very much so. if you earn it though you will probably enjoy getting to know anything you could want to know from me. 

rising: how/what do people say you come off as? - im honestly not sure, although if i had to guess i think im probably a little offputting to uh. im not sure what to call them. the kind of people im immediately never gonna get along that well with. people who spend a lot of time pretending when it comes to how human they are, as far as like “pretending you are a perfect person with no flaws or weaknesses” goes. im not conveying this well but i hope you guys know the kind of people i mean. you couldnt have a metatextual conversation with them. theyre the kind of people who like soccer. eugh.                                                                                                                                           anyways i probably just kind of come off as slightly goofy to everyone else, or moody and sad, depending on if you only know me through tumblr lol

midheaven: what do you want to be when you grow up? - ded

venus: do you flirt more knowingly or unknowingly? - pffft. neither. you think i ever fuckin learned how to flirt? no sir. i couldnt make a move if my life depended on it i dont know shit about flirting. its one of my greates downfalls.

mars: when was the last time you got mad and why? - my one friend is a fuckin idiot politically. which is to say he doesnt actually know almost anything about politics, specifically current events, but still tries to argue with the rest of us when we try to tell him how it is. apparently object impermanence aplies to politics, so if you didnt see it happening yourself, it doesnt happen and doesnt exist.

         we had to inform him recently that the shitting nazis are back. how did he miss that??? thats fucking huge and terrible. how isnt he aware.

mercury: who’s your go-to person when you need to talk? - nothingpersonaldamascus. her blog is dead now, she managed to escape this hellhole of a website, good on her, but we still talk over skype and such all the time.

jupiter: when was the last time you got lucky? - [heres a picture of me] its weird that tumblr doesnt highlight links that you add to post in blue or something most of the time, but click those words in the brackets, baby.

saturn: what are you the weakest and strongest at? - weakest: making new friendships. why is it so damn hard i hate this shit im such a boring person. strongest: uhhh. fuckin. rambling on about tangential shit, but only if i already am comfortable around the person im rambling to.

uranus: are you rebellious and do you act upon it frequently? - i think i used to be, but i never really acted on it. and then i realized that it accomplishes nothing and lifes just so much easier if you chill and just do what youve gotta do without making it a fuckin hassle for everyone.

neptune: what was your best dream and why? - the time i got mugged by ghenghis khan and his mafioso bodyguards was oretty great. 

pluto: what is your biggest aspiration and why? - just to be in a happy relationship. this ones kind of boring i think, most everyone wants to find love dont they?

lilith: what’s your biggest turn on in someone? - someone who’s affectionate. if i feel like i have to overstep my bounds or risk making you uncomfortable at all i will get the coldest feet in the goddamn country. affection shows that thats not the case. also its jsut something that i have a huge need for all the time.

aries: what’s your favorite sport to play? - fucking dying. its where you fucking die instead of playing a sport.

taurus: are you a dog or cat person? - cat. mines been really lovey recently its cute.

gemini: are you introverted or extroverted? - introverted

cancer: when was the last time you cried and why? - last week actually, just due to being generally overwhelmed, there wasnt one thing in particular that set it off.

leo: what makes you the most confident? - making people laugh, but only if i know exactly whats funny.

virgo: what’s your strongest subject in school? - i think geology and geography. which are completely different things despite their similar names. geology is rock science obviously, but the geography course i took had more of a “social justice through the lense of the natural environment and how that relates to the way we use it” outlook. so that was neat.

libra: what’s your favorite make up brand? - why make up when you can make out? HEUHUEGH THANK YOU LADIES AND GENTLEMEN ILL BE HERE ALL NIGHT.

scorpio: what’s your most kept secret? - if i fuckin told you all it wouldnt be a very good secret  n o w   w o u l d   i t ?

sagittarius: do you like to party? - not often. i cant dance or anything like that, and all the parties me and my friends hosts are generally just like.. a bunch of us all hanging out in one place. but thats fine, i prefer that to the alternative

capricorn: what’s the last book you’ve read? - the d&d players handbook. spent all day making a character.

aquarius: do you believe in aliens? - its statistically likely, but fuck if they arent gonna be all sorts of way the fuck far away so we cant meet them.

pisces: how frequently do you remember your dream? - usually i cant remember them for more than a day unless i tell someone how they went down, so generally i tell nothingpersonaldamascus when i wake up after one.