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#and i think it went well when i did it one time last semester!
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friends!!! what is a writing skill you wish you learned in school? like... it could be something specific in grammar/grammar-related, maybe about how to revise, maybe you wish you learned about different/specific genres, maybe how to write setting... whatever it may be!!! i'm doing a thing on tuesdays and would LOVE y'all's opinions on what kind of stuff to find to add for them to choose!
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playingonedchess · 3 months
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what the fuck why on earth did i come up with that
#dunno what you call it likr a daydream#like not totally a story cause it might have sort of involved me even if it was sort of a random character#ages ago before last semester#i went into some random old building and into some old room no one had been into for ages and there was a skeleton#which is all fairly normal and generic i cant remember the details i couldnt really make up my mind#but next there was a ghost instead#but it was one of my old classmates from school i hadnt seen in over a year and hadnt been on speaking terms for a few years#and then there was no ghost and just the classmate#but i knew that was the skeleton was the near future and stuff#sounds like a generic dream but i genuinly sat there staring at the wall spending time thinking this up awake wtf#well its only really weird cause it was someone i considered a friend years ago when we actually talked not many people did talk to me#but at the same time this was clearly symbolic of all my classmates and just the idea of having peers whod talk to me#or even that i could just listen to them talk to eachothet#when i was still at school my last year though i had like two actual dreams where i was the ghost#like i was standing in the library watching them all file out after private study like would happen in real life#though for some reason i was dripping wet cause i was a ghost#and they all ignored me like they always did which was the present then#but they physically couldnt see at all even if i made eye contact#or tried to talk to them which i never did in real life#wow im such a bloody loser lol#like i was 17 for that#only reason i was still sulking about it over a year later was cause i never really met anyone in uni
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azsazz · 4 months
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All's Well That Ends Well
Hockey!Azriel x Figure Skater!Reader
Summary: Anon Req: our figure skater bby would totally wear azzies jersey over her pretty sparkly dress if he wanted her to 🥺
Warnings: None.
Word Count: 1,044
Notes: Belongs to the Shut Out & Penance & Out of Order world
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Raucous clapping and cheering surround you.
Your chest heaves from exertion, but it’s a good feeling, one that goes all the way to your bones, one you know will linger for days. That’s okay, because you nailed your performance today. This competition is in the bag.
The smile you’d been forcing onto your face for the entirety of your routine turns into a real grin at the noise. You pull yourself from your ending stance, taking a quick skate around the rink one last time, waving to those in the stands. The energy in the arena is insane and you’re really feeling it, a splitting smile on your face that falters when you meet the familiar hazel gaze of Azriel.
He’s not supposed to be here.
The Velaris Bat’s have one of their most important games of the season tonight against the Springview Wolves, their rival team of almost four decades. You have no idea how the feud started and don’t care to know; something about a broken bone or a girlfriend being stolen, you have no idea and didn’t care to listen when Cassian tried explaining it to you one night at the local dive bar you’d run into a few of the players at. 
You’d turned right the fuck around when you saw them and pulled out your phone to text your friends to meet up with you somewhere else because you see enough of the hockey team whilst having to share one rink, but Azriel had caught you before you could dip outside and all but dragged you into the back alley for some precarious touching that you were not going to say no to.
You’ve been a little tense lately leading up to your competition. No one would have blamed you for what you did with the sexy hockey player.
Azriel looks proud. There’s a slight lift to the corner of his mouth, the most emotion he’ll show in public like this, even though he thrives off of the chaos of the arena when he plays. His hazel eyes sparkle as they track you, how you only have eyes for him as you skate closer, a frown on your face, no doubt wondering why the hell he’s here instead of warming up for his own game that’s set to start in a few minutes.
He couldn’t miss your performance, though. The one you’ve been raving about all semester. The one you were worried about all night a few nights ago when his head was buried between your legs. Not even that could keep you from thinking about your performance today, immediately after he’d drawn multiple orgasms from you, you went right back worrying.
Shifting on your skates, you fly toward the door. Ice sprays when you shift, stopping abruptly before passing through the door, ignoring your coach in favor of rushing over to where Azriel’s standing stock still.
“What are you doing here?” you exclaim, falling into his arms when he opens them. Your heart flutters at the feeling of his strong hands warm on your hips. He’s here, he’s really fucking here.
He’s dressed in his hockey gear, and it’s clear that instead of hitting the ice with his team he’s snuck to the finally finished rink to watch your routine. 
“Don’t worry about it, baby,” he whispers, and Azriel can’t help but pull you further into him. Can’t help but to dip down and capture you in a kiss so searing that it fully takes your breath away. It’s a little awkward, because of all of the padding he has on, but the both of you make it work. He adores the blush that stains your cheeks pink when you pull away, and it really is a shame he has his cup on right now, because his erection is pressing painfully against it. “Cass and Rhys are covering for me. I couldn’t miss this.”
“Really?” Tears fill your eyes. He’s proven himself to you, time after time, that he’s here for you, even though the both of you aren’t anything more than friends who like the feeling of each other’s fingers and tongues, hands, and intimate parts. “But your game, it’s important.” 
“I’ll make it before puck drop,” Azriel reassures, “If I leave, well, now actually. I just needed to see you. Wanted to give you this.” You hadn’t noticed the jersey hanging over his arm, but when Azriel holds it up, showing off the number eight and his last name to you. “I hate to cover up your dress because you look sexy as fuck,” he murmurs, drinking you in once again. The feeling of his hot gaze makes your knees weak. “But I’m a selfish man. I can’t have anyone else looking at you like this, baby. And I want to see my name on your back.”
Fuck, does he have a way with words.
“Okay,” you breathe, letting Azriel help you into the black and purple jersey. It drapes long over your body, the fabric swallowing you, but you don’t care because the look in Azriel’s eyes is pure fire. “How do I look?” You ask innocently, giving him a twirl and reveling in his agonized groan. 
“Tell me you’re mine tonight,” He asks gruffly, pulling you back into him by the fabric of the jersey. You move into him easily, wrapping your arms around his neck. Azriel’s breath is hot across your lips, and if you weren’t in the middle of a competition, you’d let him take you right now. “We’ll both have something to celebrate.” 
Your brows furrow in confusion and Azriel grins, tilting his head to the scoreboard behind you with your scores. You currently hold the top score for the competition, with only a few skaters left to go. Holy shit you’re in first place. 
You squeal, jumping up and down in his arms. Indeed, you’ll have something to celebrate tonight, when the Bat’s take home their win, and you with your own.
“Yes, Az. I’m yours,” you whisper, accepting his kiss. “Now, go beat the Wolves. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
“You better be,” Azriel says with a wink and a teasing pinch to your ass. “I need my good luck charm there to help me win.”
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Hockey!AU Tag (will be tagged for any hockey fic, no matter paring):
@whyonearthisyourusernamethi-blog @going-through-shit @crazylokonugget @lilah-asteria @girl-who-writes-stuff @moosemahboi @sherayuki @lyinginameadow @acourtofatboydreams @blackthorngirl @shadowsingercassia @evergreenlark @hannzoaks @bloodicka @whyshouldihaveanam3 @elle4404 @cherry-cin @quinzzelx @blackthorngirl @i-am-infinite @feerique
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heart4gyu · 2 months
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wet dreamz pt.2 || jake x reader
[ part 1 here ]
note: it’s finally here !! i want to point out that jake is much softer (?) than i intended but i love him like this.. he’s my lover boy 🫂 anyway i rly hope you guys enjoy this because i had to scrap the original and start over omg it was a mess and work got in the way too TT but i definitely have some more jake coming soon that im so excited for !! leave ur thoughts & suggestions too plsss 🙏 [i haven’t proofread im so sleepyyyy bye]
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after you sent jake that last text, inviting him over to your place, he didn’t respond. which was understandable considering jake never knew how to respond when you flirted with him, always blushing and stuttering out an awkward reply.
so as you got ready to meet up with some friends, putting on a small black dress and your favorite sparkly heels, you were surprised to hear a couple knocks at your door. even more surprised when you found jake standing there, holding a beautiful bouquet of flowers.
“jake, what are you doing here?” you asked, feeling yourself blush, the flowers throwing you off your game a bit. no guy had ever turned up with flowers for you, especially without occasion. it was sweet.
“you- you invited me,” he says, his pretty eyes holding eye contact better than he usually does. you’d never felt this nervousness for a guy before. but you’d guess he was doing no better considering the way he was trying so hard not to look down at your low cut dress and exposed thighs.
“oh yeah… you just didn’t respond so i thought- um… do you wanna come in?” you cut yourself off, stepping aside to make room for him. he nodded as he stepped inside, looking around.
“sorry i didn’t respond… i was kinda nervous. i mean not that i’ve never- you know i just- well i don’t know why i didn’t respond actually. and you look just really pretty right now- well you always look pretty but-” he went on, stumbling cutely before you interrupted him with a laugh.
“it’s okay jakey. i was gonna go out but we could just stay here if you’d like,” you offered to which he nodded, eagerly. so you led him to your bedroom where you noticed that he didn’t look around as much. and it was cute how nervous he really did look.
“these are for you,” he said, finally handing you the bouquet. and you smiled as you thanked him, putting them on your bedside table.
“they’re beautiful... why don’t you sit on my bed so i can go change into something more comfortable,” you said, and he obeyed right away. you couldn’t help but smile to yourself as you entered your bathroom because, yes, you’ve had plenty of guys in your room but something about jake was different.
you felt shy for him and he wasn’t as easy for you to get as all the others. you’d talked with him for months. you got to know him the entire semester. as with all the other guys, you didn’t really have to put in all that much work before having them in your bed.
the moment jake heard the lock of the bathroom door, he let out a sigh he didn’t know he’d been holding in. he wasn’t completely inexperienced and he was never this nervous but he had been trying so hard to forget about his dream that it was hard to focus on anything else.
he looked around now, noting that your room was different than he’d pictured but still fit you so well. and it wasn’t just your pillows but the whole room smelled like you, he was engulfed in it and he loved it.
when you stepped back out in a small pajama set, he felt his heart skip a beat and a tightness in his stomach. and you loved the way he stared at you as you walked up to him. you stood right between his legs and looked down at him innocently.
“what are you thinking, jakey,” you said, placing your hands on his shoulders. he swallowed, dryly, as he looked up into your eyes. he felt like he couldn’t breathe and even though he desperately wanted to, he didn’t think to touch you yet.
“y/n… i really like you. but before anything happens, i wanna say that i don’t want this to be a one time thing,” he admitted, quietly, not breaking eye contact. you nodded, running a hand through his hair, making him close his eyes at your touch.
“trust me, i don’t want it to be one time either,” you said, your hand wrapping around to cup his cheek. he leaned in to your touch but shook his head after a second, looking up into your eyes more seriously this time.
“i mean, i want to take you on dates and i don’t want to see other people. i just wanna be yours… i want you to be just mine,” he said, his eyes nervously watching for your response. you nodded at him with a smile and he felt relieved.
“are you asking to be my boyfriend, sim jaeyun?” you asked, smiling so brightly his shoulders relaxed in response.
“yes i am, what do you say?” he said, a hopeful look in his eyes. you watched his hands messing with the material of his jeans as his leg anxiously bounced.
“hmm…” you started, reaching down to grab both of his hands in yours. he didn’t break eye contact even when you placed his hands on your hips. “i think it took you long enough.”
“is that a yes?” he asked, a smile on his lips as you placed a knee on either side of his thighs. you cupped his face, unable to keep the smile off of your own face.
“yes! now please kiss me already,” you said, more of a demand than a request. and he just smiled as you both leaned in.
your lips finally connecting after having waited for so long. and he was gone right away, you could tell with the way he sighed loudly as you tilted your head for a better angle.
the kiss was messy, probably from his lack of experience, but still heated and passionate from the very start. a desperate moan slipping from his lips when your tongue made its way into his mouth.
you bit at his bottom lip, making eye contact as you pulled it back. with your eyes now open you could see how his chest quickly rose and fell, and how he was begging for you with his eyes.
his hands that were frozen at your hips now moving around to squeeze at your ass. he lifted a hand up to leave a firm smack there, a satisfied smirk on his lips when you let out a small gasp.
“sit back there,” you said, standing up from his lap and pointing to your headboard with your chin. he obeyed quickly as you rummaged through your bedside table for a condom.
he watched you search for a while before, “i- i brought some,” he said, lifting his hips off the bed to take the row of condoms out of his front pocket. a blush dusting his cheeks at his words.
“oh! well i’m glad you came prepared… i was just gonna let you hit it raw,” you said, playfully, crawling back over to him. and he didn’t know how but he just got even harder in his jeans.
you sat back on your knees as you took off your shirt and then bottoms revealing a pretty pink matching set. his mouth felt dry, he licked his lips as he stared down at you. you tilted your head, expectantly, when his eyes finally made their way back up to yours.
he let out a small ‘oh’ when he finally got the hint, taking his shirt off and reaching down to unbutton his pants. you let yourself take a moment and admire his build; his strong shoulders, defined abs, his sculpted thighs flexed as he lifted himself to get his jeans off.
you didn’t know how a shy, nerdy guy like him could be hiding such a build but all you knew was you hit the jackpot. even more so when he sat back against your pillows and his bulge became even more apparent through his underwear. your face heating up now as he watched you eating him up with your eyes.
you situated yourself back over his lap still not sitting down just yet. you leaned down taking his lips in yours and he took the chance to drag his hands along your waist and hips, playing with the lace of your panties.
you could kiss him forever, with his plush lips you really didn’t mind. he seemed to be growing a bit impatient though, pulling your hips down onto his abruptly, causing a moan to rip from your throat as you felt his bulge come into contact with your clothed heat.
he quickly took the chance to slip his tongue into your mouth, grinding up into you repeatedly. you through your head back, letting the soft moans fall from your lips wanting to encourage him more.
“please i’ll do anything you want me to, just tell me,” he said, pressing you flush down onto his cock and holding you there. you dropped your head down onto his shoulder, shaking your head.
“i just wanna ride you, right now,” you said, and he probably gulped but you couldn’t really focus on how cute that was with how huge he felt still pressed up against you.
so as you reached over to rip a condom from the strip he worked on taking both of your bottoms off. still being very gentle with you as he slid them down your legs, admiring every inch of your skin.
as for you, you were right: he was huge. you slid the condom onto his length and he hissed at the contact. once it was on and you lined yourself up, he stopped you one last time to press a kiss to your lips. a sweet kiss that you couldn’t help melt into.
he pressed a kiss on your cheek, down your neck, your shoulder, your chest, your bra, and one last one right above your belly button. he sat back and looked up to give you a satisfied smile, letting you know that you could continue.
you gave his cock a couple strokes and finally slipped his tip right past your lips, causing you both to moan out. he sat up almost immediately and you placed your hands on his shoulders for the extra support.
inch by inch, you took him in until finally you were sat on his lap again. you let out a deep breath and his eyes were squeezed shut as he tried his best to hold back. but all he could think about was how much better this felt than his dream.
“you’re so tight,” he moaned, resting his head onto your shoulder, still managing to place a gentle kiss there. he was holding back so much, he felt so desperate for you. “baby, could you please move a bit?”
the petname falling from his lips so effortlessly, you couldn’t help the moan that slipped out of your mouth as you started to rock yourself back and forth on him. his hands squeezed at the skin of your waist as you let out a breathy ‘yes’, putting his head back on the headboard.
when you finally started to bounce on his cock, he was a whining mess. you thought his moans were pretty, well the whines that left his throat were addictive. you wanted to do whatever you could to keep hearing them.
you lifted yourself all the way to the tip and dropped all the way back down as quick as your legs could take you, grinding onto him in all directions. and he was so perfectly responsive, just what you wanted to hear; the ‘don’t stop’s and ‘feels too good’s leaving him were too encouraging.
you couldn’t bring yourself to stop even as your thighs started to shake because you could feel his cock pulsing inside of you and you wanted to make him cum so badly. but it seemed he had the same idea.
suddenly he lifted your hips off of him, pulling out slowly, a groan falling from both of your lips. he gently laid you back down onto your pillows, not forgetting to place a gentle kiss right at the center of your chest. “… i didn’t get to make you cum,” you said, a bit disappointed.
“i know, pretty,” he said, kissing your pout away, “but i said i’d take care of you.” you felt yourself blush at his words, luckily he was preoccupied with lining himself up again.
“wait,” you said, pushing him back a bit by his chest. you reached down, slowly pulling the condom off of his length and tossing it to the side.
before he could speak again you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, your legs also lifting up to engulf his waist, pulling him closer. his forehead resting on yours as he eyed you curiously, “i want you to come in me,” you said, quietly.
he squeezed his eyes shut, groaning. he kissed you, rougher than all the other kisses before. “you can’t say those kind of things to me, angel, i won’t be able to hold back.”
“please don’t hold back jakey, do whatever you dream of,” you said, your eyes begging. jake swears his heart stopped for a second. he just couldn’t believe it, this was so different from his dream but also so much better.
he took a deep breath, his hand shaking as he lined himself back up at your entrance. when he pushed all the way back in at once, he swore he was in heaven. nothing could compare to how he felt so deep in you right now, so warm and tight. was he having deja vu?
he shook his head, he didn’t have to be reminded of that dream anymore cause this? nothing could beat this.
he thrusted into you hard and fast, immediately setting a brutal pace. and you loved it, not being able to do anything other than scream and moan out his name. he wasn’t much better moaning and muttering praises at your ear.
you scratched at his back helplessly as his thrust somehow got harder, his release definitely building up again. you pulled at his hair, bringing his face in front of yours and smashing your lips together once again. the kiss more intimate in this position, despite both of you being moaning messes.
he reached a hand down to rub circles at your clit, your hand following after to help guide him. he quickly found the rhythm you wanted and matched his thrust to it. you couldn’t believe how good he was already, and couldn’t imagine how this could get any better.
he kissed and sucked at your neck, searching for the spot you liked best, already wanting to familiarize himself with every part of your body. you moaned out his name as you felt the coil in your stomach come undone. finally releasing around him as he continued chasing his own high.
he came soon after as he felt your walls clench around him so tightly, filling you up so perfectly. he held himself up, not wanting to put his full weight on you and gently pulled out when both of your breathing regulated.
he laid down beside you, still in disbelief, his dazed expression making you laugh. he looked over at you with a smile, pulling your chin towards him to place a gentle kiss on your lips. he didn’t think he’d ever get enough of kissing you.
he kissed you again and again, not wanting to pull his lips off of yours. “wait! i need to clean you up,” he said abruptly, sitting up.
“oh yeah, um… there’s a little towel in my bathroom,” you said, rising up onto your elbows. you watched as his eyebows scrunched together and he just shook his head.
“no, i don’t need a towel,” he said, and you couldn’t help but smile at his cute tone… well cute until he was getting comfortable between your legs again, laying down right in front of your leaking core. somehow a sweet, innocent look still on his face.
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haikyu-mp4 · 4 months
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Lucky misunderstanding
word count; 974 – gn!reader I think
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Not usually favouring sports, you’re in the journalism club to make use of your great eye for design and writing. After watching one of your school’s volleyball team’s official games last season, you took notice of the boring brochures they handed out with the players’ information. You hadn’t yet chosen what to do for your project this semester and decided to lend your talents to making a better representation of the team’s charms and talents. What you didn’t expect to get out of the project was a date.
You received permission from their coach and captain and set up some equipment to take your photos in a room adjacent to the gym during practice. Hopefully, you can encourage them all to pose confidently. In order to not disturb their whole practice, you ask one grade to join you at a time, starting with the first-years and ending with the third-years. Good luck!
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Having seen how strategic and tactical Seijoh are on the court, you thought the photoshoot would go by pretty quickly and smoothly. You didn’t account for Yahaba and Kuotani being this difficult. They were egging each other on and making it hard for you to get any shots where they weren’t wearing angry frowns.
That’s why you at least hoped the third years would be easier. Calm, confident and collected.
Well.. they sure were confident. At least you were laughing, watching how they played around and criticised each others’ poses. Iwaizumi seemed to keep his distance, though, only coming out of his shell to throw some comments at Oikawa.
He went last, straightening out his uniform and standing in the spot you wanted him to. “Let’s get this over with.”
You shrugged and held up the camera, but put it down again. He was just staring sternly at the lens. “Could you give me some confidence?” you asked. “Where’s the smug guy that beats everyone in arm wrestling?”
The effect is instant and the other guys are thrilled to spot Iwa’s red ears. “Yea, Iwa! Where are the muscles?” Makki cooed and giggled. You looked away from the boy and down at your hands for a second. Is he mocking you? “Just think of how y/n is staring at you through the lens.” he continued teasing before Mattsun roughly patted his shoulder to make him stop, even though he was chuckling too.
Do they know about your crush? Did you bust yourself with that comment? Have they heard a rumour? How embarrassing! That’s the worry that swirled in your head as you cleared your throat and looked shyly at Iwaizumi. The ace himself nearly growled, pushing his sleeves up and walking towards his friends with a threatening “you three better run” slipping between his teeth.
The boys all took his advice and ran out, clearly terrified of the muscly ace as he started running at them until they were all out of the room. He took in a deep breath and turned back, glancing between you and the floor as he stood in front of you again.
“I’m sorry-“
“I’m sorry.” The two of you said at the same time, making both of you lift your gazes to meet each other’s in surprise.
“Why are you sorry? They were being stupid,” he mumbled with a weak chuckle as if trying to brush it off. You cleared your throat again, looking away and down at the camera.
“You probably just want to get this over with, I didn’t think they would make you uncomfortable,” you rambled, not sure if you should address your crush or leave it unspoken and let the poor boy escape you.
“I’m not! They just know I get… flustered… around you,” he admitted hesitantly, finally meeting your eyes again and tucking his hands in his pockets.
Thinking back, Oikawa had mumbled something about Iwa-chan loving this when you asked him if he approved your project. Your path didn’t cross with Iwaizumi’s that often at school, but when it did you would always stop for a short chat and it would fill you with happy energy for the rest of the day. That’s how you developed your crush, which might have created some inspiration for this project as well.
You were surprised and trying to sort out your thoughts as your mouth opened and closed like a fish. “Let’s just get this over with, forget what I said,” he said, already regretting his little confession when you didn’t respond.
“I thought they were teasing me for my crush on you.” You chuckled under your breath before lifting the camera. All you saw was a very surprised Iwaizumi.
“Huh?”
“Makki kept commenting on how I was looking at you and your freaking muscles and I just thought they must be teasing me for it.” you rambled again, looking away and cursing mentally at how you were never finishing the photoshoot at this rate.
“They were teasing because I like you,” he said, letting the whole sentence out in one breath. You only caught every word because you were desperately listening to him.
“Really?” was all you managed to say, even chuckling a bit at the misunderstanding.
He chuckled too, rubbing his face with both hands before glancing at you to see your reaction. “Really.”
“Then I think you should let me finish my project and take me out on a date later,” you declared, biting the inside of your lip in anticipation.
He straightened up and gave you a determined look. “I like the way you think.”
So you did finish taking the photos, maybe even sneaking in a shy little first kiss before he had to go back to practice. He told you to wait for him after practice and you both parted ways with rosy cheeks.
Maybe just this once he should thank Makki for being so insufferable.
the Flyer Series ║ masterlist
/taglist: @cottonlemonade @dira333 @cosmiicdust @nagi-core
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obaex · 4 months
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four - hockey player!ex!rafe cameron (pt. 2)
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summary: with the stakes of your relationship on the line, can rafe pull off the impossible to win you back?
word count: 6k 🫣
a/n: i love you all for the love on this lil' series!! ♡ toxic hockey rafe has me in a chokehold, so i promise this will not be the last you see of him!! apologies in advance, you will basically be attending a full hockey game here, i tried my best to explain all the lingo!
(part one)
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The arena was packed even though you were there early, arriving alone because the other girlfriends and wives were always late, which simply wasn't in your DNA.
Your dad was a coach growing up, so you spent countless hours in empty rinks, arenas and stands; his rule for games was that you were in your seat early enough to see the starting lineup and the national anthem, no exceptions. Truth be told you liked being there when the lights went down, when the music amped up, you loved the anticipation of a new game.
You didn't mind sitting in the cold seat, hands wrapped around a cup of hot chocolate that you got from the same concession stand every time. Hockey players were notoriously superstitious and by extension now you were too; just like they had their pregame rituals, so did you: same parking spot in the VIP lot, same hot chocolate from the same concession stand, same seat in section 106. You were in the lower bowl of the arena, a few rows back from the ice, facing the bench, nearly eye-level with the team.
You let your mind wander and tried not to think about Rafe but it was impossible, this place was Rafe to you; from the feeling of the cold air on your cheeks and fingers, to the damp and crisp smell of the ice and the sounds of the fans and ambient pregame music, all of it was a part of your love story, all of it was him. Surprisingly, it didn't hurt like you thought it would, rather it felt like coming home after a semester at college, foreign but familiar.
You swiped at your phone, a nervous tick, even though you knew there wouldn't be anything there, which was a good thing, Rafe needed to be focused on the game, so you slid your phone into the cupholder next to you and resorted to tapping your heeled foot nervously.
The seats around you filled quickly and sure enough the other girlfriends and wives arrived just as the lights were dimming, offering cheek kisses and sympathetic hugs, well aware of your situation. Your best friend Morgan slid in next to you, pulling you into her side.
"It's selfish, but I'm glad you're here" she said, loud enough to be heard over the music and the announcer as her brown eyes traced your face sympathetically.
"I'm fine" you lied with a forced smile. Totally fine you thought. Not the love of my life who broke my heart then skated over it trying to win me back in the middle of the semifinals.
You decided to keep all of that to yourself, because truthfully it was ridiculous. It was juvenile. And it was never going to happen. And you didn't want it to happen anyway, you reassured yourself. Right?
You shook your head as you turned your attention to the starting lineup as Rafe's name boomed over the loudspeaker, the cheering noticeably louder from the crowd. He was a fan favorite, beloved for his fast and aggressive style of play. He wasn't afraid to two-hand someone when the referee wasn't looking, to stand up for his team, to battle for the puck. He was chippy, gritty, and he's on the first line tonight you thought to yourself, a spot reserved for the very best players, putting them in the best scoring position. But surely that's not in any way related to our deal... you mused.
You stood on your tiptoes to see him over the crowd in front of you. He was standing at center ice under the spotlight, his helmet tucked under his arm as he shuffled side to side on his skates, face unsmiling, focused as he looked between his feet and the empty ice in front of him. Your heart leapt uncontrollably at the sight of him; God he's beautiful you thought as your body hummed in recognition and longing, completely betraying you.
The tension and animosity in the arena were thick. You had faced the opposing team a few times in the regular season and it did not end well.
As in, you'd lost every time.
As in, Rafe left the last game with a five-minute major penalty and a black eye after an all-out brawl.
Now the fans were itching for a rematch and you were simply hoping for everyone to leave in one piece. That was the difference between being a fan and being someone who cared deeply for the boys on the ice, it wasn't a spectacle to you anymore. You watched as Rafe's wingers Nick and Andrew stood beside him, followed by two defensemen and your goalie as the national anthem wrapped up.
Everyone took their seats as the lights came back on and the music came on again too, urging the fans around you to cheer, and for you to resume the incessant tapping of your foot as you leaned forward in your seat, laser focused on the guys lining up for the faceoff.
"Girl, you good?" Morgan asked, taking in your nervous energy.
"Hmm?" you responded distractedly, barely glancing at her. "Yeah, yeah m'fine" you said.
You were always more into the game than the other girls, but that didn't account for the clear tension and anxiety rolling off of you in waves, nor the way you were immaculately dressed, which didn't go unnoticed either.
Rafe skated to center ice, equally sized with the opponent at faceoff as the referee dropped the puck. It had barely clattered to the ice before Rafe had gained possession, shouldering his opponent out of the way and barreling towards the offensive zone with a burst of energy like a gunshot that had the crowd almost immediately back on their feet, pulling you along with them.
"OK, I'm sorry, what is happening here?" Morgan said as she watched him.
He was a man possessed, head down, focused, ignoring his teammates as they called for the puck to set up a play, like he was trying to do it all himself. Like he was trying to score. He flipped the puck towards the goalie, who blocked it and possession shifted as he skated backwards on defense, your heart settling in your chest.
Rafe always played with intensity, but with the way he was playing now, he wouldn't make it through the first period. You thought there would be a reprieve on defense, but he was diving for the puck, playing to steal rather than defending his zone. He looked like a maniac.
Until it worked.
The crowd was back on their feet as he and Nick had a breakaway two-on-one, both of them racing towards the net together with only one defender standing between them and the goalie, the rest of their teammates striding to catch up with them. Nick called for the puck, slapping his stick on the ice, but Rafe deked the defender, faking him out before approaching the goalie and tipping the puck into the small pocket over his shoulder, swishing it effortlessly into the net.
The arena erupted as the goal horn blared and you found yourself jumping up and down, overcome with excitement and emotion. You could physically feel your heart beating. This is totally normal you thought. It's totally fine to score a goal in the first two minutes of the game, on his first shift, against the toughest team in the league.
You watched players pile on him in celebration before they all skated back to the bench, bumping fists with their team before taking a seat on the bench. Your eyes were glued to him, and his were on the jumbotron above center ice, watching his own replay before the coach approached him, grasping his shoulder angrily, and you could imagine why. He had been reckless, he had been lucky. Rafe nodded, but ultimately shook him off and refocused on the resumed play. Players zoomed in front of you and your eyes zipped to follow them before you glanced ever so briefly back at Rafe, who was unmistakably looking at you and smiling.
You swallowed to hide the emotions on your face, not giving him a single inch as you focused on the play.
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You loved watching hockey, but it felt different when Rafe was on the ice, like he was a magnet, the only thing you could focus on, and his next shift was no different. He was playing like a madman and within seconds you could hear the coach shouting. Rafe turned up emptyhanded this time and the coach was visibly angry as Rafe skated to the bench, going so far as to yell back at him, which had you holding your breath; you had never seen him do that before.
Nick reached for Rafe's shoulder to calm him down and then they started bickering back and forth. Your attention was now split between the two of them and the action on the ice when you saw Nick physically rear back at something Rafe had said, the motion grabbing your full focus. Nick covered his face with his gloved hands, looking back at Rafe and then repeating the motion before he glanced up at the stands, at you, and shook his head, resigned. Were they talking about you!?! you thought. Had Rafe just told him what's going on?
You were so caught up that you missed the play as the other team scored. The game was tied 1-1. The arena echoed with boos as their bench erupted in cheers. You looked up at the clock: 2 minutes left in the first period.
Rafe and Nick got onto the ice for their last shift and the second the puck dropped, they were off as a duo, Nick's intensity now matching Rafe's own; they were bodying guys, tag-teaming as they raced into the offensive zone. Nick had the puck and passed to Rafe, and almost immediately Rafe was cornered by two extremely large defensemen who pinned him to the boards as they tried to steal the puck. But he wouldn't relent, throwing his elbows and trying to wiggle free, desperate and angry as the buzzer sounded for the end of the period.
And yet they didn't let him go. The crowd started shouting and everyone was on their feet as Rafe dropped his stick, turned and grabbed them both by the front of their jerseys, shoving them as the benches emptied and other players joined in, piling on top of one another until you lost sight of Rafe in a mess of limbs, equipment and jerseys. You were craning to see over the ecstatic fans, egging on the fight as the referees raced to break it up, pulling bodies off of one another until they reached Rafe.
His helmet had come off and as the referees skated him towards the locker room, he was shouting at the opposing team who skated after him, riling each other up before he yanked himself out of the ref's grasp and marched off the ice through the tunnel.
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Period 1: Game Tied. 1-1.
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You let out a deep sigh before collapsing back in your seat. You took a shaky inhale before exhaling and you felt a set of eyes on you.
You turned to see Morgan looking at you with an eyebrow arched.
"You're really going to sit here and act like you don't know what's going on? I know that boy texts you his every thought."
You opened your mouth, an excuse, a lie ready before she interrupted you.
"-- And I KNOW you didn't block him like you said you were going to, so don't try me. What the hell is going on?"
You bit your lip at that, glancing between her and the ice where the zamboni was running clean lines across the cold surface.
You gave a halfhearted shrug, "You know how much he wants to win, how much this means to him."
She doubled down her glare.
You sighed, avoiding her gaze before looking back to her.
"I made a deal with him" you nearly whispered.
A few of the other girls snuck by you both, causing you to shift in your seats as she leaned in and whisper-shouted at you:
"I'm sorry what!"
"If he scores four goals tonight, I said I'd get back together with him."
"You're joking" she said flatly. "Please tell me you're joking."
You pursed your lips with a small shake of your head.
"The two of you" she said as she let out an exasperated laugh. "Unbelievable. You can't stay away from each other and yet you’re willing to bet the stakes of your relationship on a game. I can't" she said, throwing her hands up in defeat.
She paused, getting serious for a moment.
"Are you sure you even want to get back with him, is that really such a good idea hun?"
"Morgan, he's never going to score four goals, it's like, impossible."
"Are you watching the same game I am?" she said emphatically. "Cause your mans sure is gonna try and you better ask yourself what you're going to do if he does."
There was a whisper of truth to what she was saying. It was probably impossible, but not completely out of reach. And what would you do? Your heart trilled. You would be ecstatic the devil on your shoulder said. You would be screwed said the angel.
Your phone buzzed in the cupholder next to you and swiped it open.
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You grasped at your phone. Rafe never had his phone between periods, none of the players did, it was basically sacrilegious. They had just enough time to get treatment, catch their breath, hydrate and listen to their coach and he was on his phone!? You put yours down and tried to rearrange the smile creeping onto your face as you saw the teams rejoining the ice for the second period.
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Just like before, Rafe was off like a rocket, but the other team was on to him this time, doubling his defensive coverage, making it nearly impossible for him to skate, let alone make a play. He had put a target on his back with the fight at the end of the first period, so even when he didn't have the puck, you could see the other players go after him, a stick in his skates, a slash at his side, heads turning to chirp at him as they lined up for faceoffs. But he didn't slow down for a moment, battling twice as hard now, coming back to the bench after each shift uncharacteristically exhausted, heaving with his elbows on his knees.
You watched him and felt overcome with emotions as the realization hit you: Rafe wasn't good at expressing himself, he wasn't a 'feelings' person, he didn't always know what to say, which is why sometimes words came better to him over texts when he had more time to think about it. But hockey? Hockey was his language. He couldn't tell you how sorry he was, how much he wanted to fight for this, but he could show you. He could play for you, he was playing for you, putting his body on the line, trying his all-out hardest, not a single person in the arena could deny that as they watched him tonight. He wanted this. Badly. Which meant he wanted you, badly. You felt a flush of warmth in your cheeks that had nothing to do with your lukewarm hot chocolate as you watched him slide up the bench for his next shift.
You looked up at the jumbotron. There were only 12 minutes left in the second period, and the game was still tied at 1-1.
What were you going to do if he scored four goals?
What were you going to do if he didn't? felt like the more pressing question. He was running out of time. If something didn't happen now, he would have one period left to score 3 goals, and that was simply not going to happen. I shouldn't have made the number so high you thought guiltily.
Your eyes glanced back to the ice as he clambered over the boards in the midst of a shift change. He was skating methodically, not slower, but maybe more strategically and you were sure his energy was waning even if it didn't look like it.
Suddenly, Nick picked the puck off an opponent and Rafe raced to skate with him, crossing into the offensive zone with several of their teammates. Nick had a wide open shot, and he brought his stick back for a slapshot before turning at the very last moment and passing to Rafe who had positioned himself near the goalie. The puck banked off his stick and ricocheted into the goal.
You were on your feet again, jumping up and down in Morgan's arms as the boys piled onto each other. The crowd was alive again as the team took a 2-1 lead, 5 minutes left now in the second period.
Morgan looked at you, shaking her head before shouting something you couldn't hear over the crowd. You shook your head back before she leaned in closer.
"Is Nick in on this shit?" she yelled.
You looked at her, confused.
"Why else wouldn't he take that shot? It was wide open."
The idea of Rafe recruiting his best friend and linemate into this made you lightheaded and giddy. As you looked back at the bench, the two of them were shoulder to shoulder, looking right at you and Nick waved, a goofy little smile on his face for the briefest of seconds before his attention returned to the game.
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Period 2: Eagles winning. 2-1.
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The period ended and you spent the last intermission glued to your seat as everyone around you got up to get food and drinks, your mind spinning.
One period. Twenty minutes left for Rafe to score 2 goals. It was still nearly impossible, but didn't feel as insurmountable as before and you still weren't sure what you wanted the outcome to be. You were staring into middle space, questioning your entire relationship when your phone buzzed again in your cupholder. You swiped it open.
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Two hearts.
Two goals.
You smiled widely, rolling your eyes before giggling like a little girl. You wanted to respond, and your fingers lingered over your screen, but he still had no business being on his phone, and what could you possibly say anyway?? "Nevermind!! Let's get back together despite all the shit you put me through!"
Ugh.
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The third period was simultaneously the slowest and quickest 20 minutes of your life.
Rafe was battling, and the other team battled back, getting chippier and chippier as the teams exchanged penalties and breakaways, but the score stayed the same. You could feel the crowd's excitement at the prospect of scraping through this game with a one-goal lead; a good enough result to make them happy, but you couldn't deny the disappointment you felt as you were playing an entirely different game.
As time whittled down you felt yourself getting emotional as the odds were stacked against Rafe, stacked against both of you. Ten minutes. Eight. Five. Three. You could feel the familiar burn of tears behind your eyes as your foot continued to tap, eyes glancing anxiously between Rafe, the bench, the players and the jumbotron that counted down the time unceasingly.
Morgan reached for you, winding her arm around yours and grabbing your hand, a sad smile on her lips. You both knew this wasn't going to happen. There was just no way. You could sense that Rafe could feel it too, he was getting more and more desperate, scrambling after the puck, making sloppy mistakes that made you feel guilty, the most so when the other team scored… tying the game.
And then what felt like the final twist of the knife: with less than 1 minute left, they scored again, capitalizing on the dashed morale of the Eagles to take the lead 3-2. It was like someone sucked the air out of the arena. Rafe was on the ice, on his knees and all of the players looked so defeated.
Fuck fuck fuck was all you could think as they regrouped with their coach to come up with their last play, their last chance to tie the game. You leaned forward, desperately trying to read lips as if you could somehow decipher the plan. The ref blew the whistle and the coach sent guys on the ice, leaving Rafe behind, and your stomach dropped: he wasn't even going to get a chance.
Rafe argued and you could see him yelling and gesturing wildly as the coach yelled back. The ref blew the whistle again and you knew they were dangerously close to getting a delay of game penalty. A ripple of confusion went through the crowd as they watched the argument unfold and you wished you could sink into your seat and disappear.
The coach shouted something that seemed final before Rafe took one look at him, ignored him and skated onto the ice, swapping with Nick who slid onto the bench, head bowed, ashamed, as the coach berated him.
At this point, Rafe had been on the ice way longer than he should have, he was making mistakes, and now he was putting his career, his contract on the line as he stepped up to take the faceoff.
The puck dropped and the battle ensued as the teams fought back and forth. Their team took a shot on goal that had you holding your breath as the time ticked down.
There were less than 20 seconds left as the puck rebounded towards Rafe and he guided it with his stick, taking off down the ice faster than you'd ever seen him skate; in just three strides he had nearly covered the length of the rink, leaving all of the other players trailing behind him as he squared off with the goalie.
"Ten! Nine! Eight!" the crowd shouted.
You were on your feet, grasping Morgan's arm for dear life, certain you were leaving a mark as you continued to hold your breath.
Rafe shot the puck and it hit the goalie's leg pad, but bounded right back to him.
"Three! Two!"
He shot again and the goalie fell forward, but the crowd behind the goalie erupted and the official lit the lamp behind the goal - he had scored.
The puck had slid between the goalie's legs and Rafe exploded with energy, ripping down the ice and jumping into the glass in front of you as his team piled on top of him and the crowd went ballistic as fans threw their hats onto the ice to celebrate his hat trick - three goals scored.
You were jumping and screaming with the other girls, a few tears escaping your eyes in relief and excitement, overwhelmed at the entire situation.
Three goals.
He'd scored three damn goals, a new career record for him. And now they were in overtime.
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Period 3: Game tied 3-3. End of regulation play.
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"Wait! Wait! What the hell happens now!?" Morgan asked breathless, looking to you as the only girl that knew a thing about the rules.
"Overtime" you huffed, trying to calm yourself. "Another 20 minutes, first team to score wins."
"Was that part of the deal?" she asked.
"It wasn't not part of the deal?" you said. "We didn't really get into specifics" you laughed, rolling your eyes.
You glanced at the bench as both teams hydrated and listened to the coaches. Rafe's teammates were still all over him, smacking his helmet, arms slung around him. The coach said something to him and he put his hands up in surrender as he sat on the bench and his teammates took the ice.
Your eyes were glued to Rafe but unlike before his didn't meet yours and for a second, you didn't know how to take that. You craved that acknowledgement from him, but you also recognized the look on his face; he was totally 100% focused, eyes fixed on the action on the ice. He wants to win you thought. Or maybe his focus was for something else.
Within a few minutes, his line was up and they jumped on the ice. He was playing smart now, conservative, concentrated and gathered, a stark difference from before. He was strong on defense, backing his team up as they played perfectly off of each other, which paid off when Nick stole the puck and shouted as he passed the puck up the boards to Rafe who sprinted after it, just a stride in front of a defender.
"Oh my god" you heard Morgan mutter as everyone stood to their feet and even though the roar of the crowd was deafening, you swore you could hear every scrape of Rafe's skate against the ice, the clatter of the puck as the play moved in slow motion to the beat of your heart.
Another stride and Rafe was alone in the offensive zone, the defender just a hair behind him.
Was this really happening? Was he about to end the game, to score a fourth goal?
Another stride and he was eyeing the goalie, lining up his shot.
He maneuvered his stick and just as he was about to shoot, the defender dove, thrusting his stick in Rafe's path, causing them both to tumble onto the ice and into the goalie, the puck sliding away, abandoned as the refs blew their whistles. No goal.
Rafe was down for only a second before he stood up, grabbed his stick and swung it with full force, snapping it in half over the boards in front of him in rage and frustration, causing the fans behind the glass to jump and spill their beer on each other.
Two of the refs were frantically skating towards him, waving their arms and blowing their whistles, but your eyes drifted to the head referee who was standing next to the officials box, watching a small computer screen, a replay. Almost immediately he nodded, handed back the screen and raised his fisted hands over his head and crossed them and you let out an uncontrollable shout of excitement as you grabbed for Morgan.
"What! Oh my god! What is going on!!?" she shouted back, and all you could do was laugh and shout as you jumped up and down and pointed to the referee.
"You are the ONLY ONE HERE who knows what that means!" she shouted. "What does it mean!!!?"
"A PENALTY SHOT!" you shouted back.
Your eyes shot back to Rafe who had clocked the same thing and was skating back to the bench. The equipment manager handed him a new stick and now the arena was abuzz with the same information as the announcer explained that Rafe would have the chance to score one on one against the goalie, with all of the other players off the ice. A golden opportunity.
The fans were ballistic. You could barely hear yourself think, could barely process your emotions as you struggled onto your tiptoes again to see over the raised hands and jumping fans as Rafe skated methodically to center ice, alone.
He skated back and forth, side to side with crisp turns like a predatory shark before he stopped at center ice, hands on his stick on his knees, eyeing the goalie before his head turned slowly and he looked right at you. Even amidst the chaos, you could see his signature smirk before he refocused and gathered the puck in his stick.
He was going to score.
You just knew it. You knew by the look on his face, by the stride of his skates, by the confidence in his gait.
"He's going to score" you said out loud, quietly, to yourself, a revelation before you turned to Morgan who was solely focused on the scene unfolding on the ice. You tugged on her sleeve, desperate for her to understand the weight of what you had just said.
"He's going to score, Morgan" you said, louder, matter-of-factly.
"Well SHIT I hope so!!!!" she shouted back without looking at you, now completely wrapped up in the game.
She didn't understand.
He was going to score.
And that meant he was going to be yours again.
Your eyes found the ice and you watched as he approached the goalie, goading him out of the goal, faking him out before wrapping the puck around his leg and tipping it upward.
The goalie dove backwards at the last minute and 15,000 fans held their breath as his gloved hand extended, brushing the edge of the puck, causing it to wobble, but without enough force to change the course of fate as the puck swooshed into the net.
The goal lamp lit up.
The goal horn sounded.
And if you thought the arena was loud before, it reached a new level as fans screamed, shouted, jumped up and down and embraced each other.
You felt realization ripple over you, your gaze stuck on the ice. Stuck on the image of the goalie flat on his back, defeated. Stuck to Rafe who had ripped his helmet off, discarded as he let out a roar of victory before getting bombarded by his teammates who piled on him in celebration.
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End of OT. Eagles win 4-3.
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Morgan yanked you into her by your shoulders, hugging you and jumping up and down, but an unexplainable calm had settled over you, gluing your feet to the ground.
You should be excited, you were, but instead you felt like you were having an out-of-body experience. What the hell had just happened? Rafe had scored four goals, had led his team to the finals. Had he done it for himself? Of course. But wasn't a part of it for you too?
You turned and looked back at the ice, desperate to catch his eye, to talk to him, to figure this out as chaos rained around you. The players skated to center ice with their sticks raised to salute the fans before skating away, Rafe leading them quickly into the tunnel without so much as a look at you. Not even a cheeky smile or a blown kiss, which you used to get after every game. What the fuck.
Morgan shook your shoulder.
"Babes, now what?!" she asked, excited, curious, anxious.
You looked at her, lost. You had no idea. Did you text him? Were you just back together again? How did this work?
The lights dimmed as the announcer drew the crowd back in to introduce the three stars of the game - recognizing the three standout players of the night. The third star was your goalie, who stopped an unimaginable number of shots and you cheered for him as he skated solo onto the ice in a spotlight, taking a spin around the ice before tossing a t-shirt into the crowd to an excited fan.
Your heart was hammering in your chest, your mind incapable of thinking of anything but Rafe. You grabbed your phone. No new texts. The players were all in the locker room by now. Sure, they were partying and celebrating, but if he had time to text you in the middle of the game, couldn't he text you now??
Nick was the second star of the game and you glanced up from your phone to see him doing the familiar skate around the ice, waving to Morgan who blew him a kiss back, but you glanced back at your phone, willing a text to appear, opening and closing your texts, refreshing the app, messing with your wifi. Surely it was the internet connection you thought, now desperate to hear from him.
"Come on Cameron" you murmured to yourself.
"Okay, what is he doing?" you heard Morgan laugh and you looked down to the ice to see Nick still circling around, backwards, forwards, pumping up the crowd who roared around him as he gathered a t-shirt to throw. You were thrilled for him, really, but you resumed your focus on your phone. Should I turn it off and turn it back on again? you thought.
The lights dimmed further and the deep voice of the announcer reverberated, "Ladies and gentlemen, your first star of the game, with an unprecedented four goals, including your game winner--"
"Uhhh YN" you heard Morgan say.
But you were too distracted, too afraid to look away from your phone in case you missed a text coming through.
"--Rafe Cameron!!!" the announcer said, the spotlight shining on the tunnel, and your eyes shot up at the sound of his name, only to find the ice empty.
You felt Morgan tug harshly on your sleeve and when you finally looked back to her your stomach barrel-rolled and your heart shot into your throat.
Standing unmistakably next to her in the aisle was Rafe, still fully suited in his gear and pads, towering over everyone like a giant, his skates traded for his training shoes. Pieces of his hair were clinging to his forehead and his face was rosy with exertion, sweat dripping down his temple in rivulets.
He was smiling confidently at you, and unlike the last time you had seen him in your car, his eyes were unwavering and transfixed on yours, even when the fans around you turned around and noticed he was there, even when phones were whipped out and shouts and cheers went up, he ignored them; he only had eyes for you.
"How--" you started to say, your phone completely forgotten as he started to nudge his way past the people at the end of your row to walk fully into the seats next to you.
"Ohmygod, ohymgod" Morgan was saying as she clambered out of the way of his bulky frame and suddenly he was towering in front of you.
He was breathing heavily; with how quickly he made it up here it was no wonder he had been sprinting off the ice and into the tunnel. His face searched yours, eyes twinkling, flitting over your lips, searching for a sign, a signal, a hint of how you were feeling. And you weren't sure you could have expressed it even if you could form words.
He leaned down next to your ear and you could feel the sweat and the heat radiating off of him.
"That was four" he said, breathless and husky before pulling back, but not as far as before, his nose brushing yours.
The spotlight was sweeping the empty ice, looking for him as the announcer tried awkwardly to fill the air time, wondering where he was.
All you could do was meet his gaze, staring into his crystal blue eyes.
And all you could see was your Rafe.
Sure, he had his issues, but you knew he was sincere, you knew he was trying and you acknowledged that despite everything he was probably the love of your life.
"We didn't agree on overtime goals" you said loudly back at him to be heard over the crowd.
For a moment you could see fear, panic and a hint of hurt cross his face; if you didn't know him as well as you did you wouldn't have seen it, it was nearly indetectable. But he took one look at your sly smile, your blushing cheeks, your eyes rimmed with tears.
"C'mere" he said roughly, ignoring you as his warm and sweaty hands that smelled unmistakably like his gloves grabbed your face and pulled you towards him as his lips enveloped yours, engulfing you, bold, brazen and completely unabashed as he full on made out with you, chaotically, his tongue slipping into your mouth, even when you tried to wiggle away, more out of a sense of decorum than anything as a feeling seeped through every inch of you like he was mending every wound in your body.
He was sweating all over you at this point, but you didn't care. You could feel it dripping on you. You could taste it in his kiss, mixed with the tang of yellow gatorade and your fingers grasped for purchase on his jersey as you tried to balance yourself against the force of him pressing into you.
The crowd around you erupted, as the flash of pictures being taken lit the two of you. He was unrelenting and you could feel yourself flushing as much from his attention as from the heat radiating off of him. It definitely went on longer than it should have, longer than any right-minded couple would have made out in front of thousands of fans before he paused just long enough, his lips still hovering on yours and said through a growl, "You're mine, baby."
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coconutdays · 1 year
Text
emotion
s. you get stuck in your crush/study buddy's room during a freak storm.
w.c. 1.8k
w. gn! reader (I thought a fem reader when writing this, but then I noticed that I didn't really make it gender coded! so I figured it was a plus it came out this way!) , suna! x reader , fluff! suggestive! bc there is some steamy kissing and of the making out
a/n: Earth spun a wheel between Rin, Osamu, and Atsumu for me to write for and it so conveniently picked Suna Rin
Ending up in the same room as your classmate/crush during a storm, at night, with no electricity had never been on your bingo card for the year. Yet, here you were, blinking back into reality seconds after the lights just went out.
"Shit" Suna sighs. You can hear him start to move, making out the shadow of his body standing up and moving towards his beside drawer.
"I have a candle in here." He mutters, the obvious rummaging being heard before it ceases after you somewhat see a cylindrical shape in his left hand. The smell of paraffin going up into flames accompanies the slight bit of light coming from the match he just lit, it fades away the moment he blows out the match after getting the candle to light.
It isn't much, the light coming from the medium sized candle, but it lets you fawn over his face, his entire being. It's a flattering light and it sets a mood you wish you could do something about.
"You think the Professor will cancel the test?" He shivers a little when he sits down across from you again, rubbing his hands together.
That's the reason you were here in the first place, to study for that damn test.
Suna had sat next to you at the beginning the semester after getting there at the last minute and the last open seat had been the one next to yours. Ever since then, you had exchanged small talk and numbers with each other. It happened frequently, befriending the people sitting next to you in class, some days it was a great help to ask each other if the other had done the homework, understood yesterday's lecture, or if they had notes because one of you couldn't go to class that day.
But you only got excited when Suna asked you for your version of the notes from the previous lecture. Everyone always complimented your penmanship, but the first time he got your notes for reference against his, he sent a text:
lol you write really pretty
You smiled to yourself at it when he sent it and could only send a thank you back.
He didn't really befriend anyone else in the class and neither did you because of it. You didn't have the chance to when any free time in the class where the professor hadn't started lecture yet was taken up by conversation he tried striking up with you. It automatically made you study buddies by the time this first test came around.
"Well if it looks like the rest of the campus, or at least half of us lost electricity too, then it might be a no brainer to save it for another time."
He lets out a puff of air as a sarcastic laugh at the situation, "It's like that shit you say. Being delulu is the--"
"Solulu." You finish for him, giggling.
He lets out a 'heh' and leans forward while hugging himself even tighter, "Sorry you got stuck here. The storm really came out of nowhere."
"I'm sorry I got stuck here." You counter, your body starting to shiver at the increasingly cold air filling up the room with harsh cold rain storming just a window away and no heater to protect against it. "I'm in your room after all."
"It's fine," He says, his eyes acting a bit more fox-like than usual as he stares you down before he adds, "Let me give you one of my hoodies, it's getting cold."
And before you can interject and say that won't be necessary, which it really won't--you don't need Suna's hoodie, you're fine freezing to death if it means you don't have to breathe in his intoxicating scent clinging to your skin--he's getting up and walking to his closet.
As quickly as he gets up, he's coming back and handing you a hoodie, the specifics of it like the color or design not something your eyes couldn't register at the moment.
"Thanks." You meep out, basking in the moment your head first slips through it and you feel the hoodie envelop you. You didn't know what was keeping you warm now, the actual material draped over your body or the fact that it was Suna's and he had worn it before, it was his.
When you look back at him and squint a little, you can tell he's wearing one of his own too. One he rarely wore--yes you noted how frequently he wore his hoodies, you couldn't help but make the observation.
"Well if we think tomorrow's test is gonna be cancelled..." Suna drags on, "We can play Mario Kart on my switch?"
You weren't one to frequently come across the opportunity to play on a switch, so you asked, "It can work without wifi?"
"Yea, " He nods, "it's the only I can think of to keep us occupied while we wait to see if the electricity comes back any time soon."
You can think of something else.
And so does he, but he won't tell you that either.
While he gets up to get his console from his desk, you nervously near his bed.
"Hey, Suna, can I play on your bed?"
A shiver runs up his spine and his eyes go wide as he's disconnecting any unnecessary wires from his switch. Time stands still for him and-
"Suna?"
"Yea!" He manages to blurt out like it's not big deal as he comes back to you with the console in hand. When he joins you in sitting on his bed, next to you, propping up the little screen across from both of you, he says, "And you can call me Rintaro. If you want."
You lean over a bit to look at him curiously, noticing a slight change in his demeanor, as if he had something else busying his mind. His eyes seemed caught up in a thought.
"Sure."
That small observation of yours became a thing of the past soon after you had finished playing two matches against him.
He had become your worst enemy.
"You do not let me catch a break!" You laugh and yell at the same time, shoving him with your shoulder.
"Just because you don't play it often, doesn't mean I have to go easy on you." He defends himself, smirking as he looks at you from the corner of his eye while he picks a new map to play on.
You toss your controller to his side of the bed to throw an over exaggerated fit.
"Well now I don't wanna play if I'm gonna keep getting bullied like this." You haughtily huff and cross your arms
Suna jokingly rolls his eyes and is about to ridicule you when you're both suddenly enveloped in darkness again.
The candle must've gone out.
And for some reason, the lack of light made for a lack of noise in the space between the both of you. The rumbles coming from the storm outside filled the void between the both of you and eventually closed the space between you two when a monstrous crack of thunder and lightning made you yelp and grab onto whatever was near.
The shock of the sudden noise had you breathing a bit quick and with your arms around Suna's torso, who instinctively put his arms around you too.
It was quiet, yet not at the same time.
The roaring storm outside was noisy enough,
but you and your study buddy weren't saying anything.
Your hands can feel how sturdy he is underneath the layers of his shirt and hoodie. He's big, an obvious fact considering he is tall and a volleyball player for the school, but it seems so much more prominent when your hand feels so small compared to his huge back.
His breath tickles your ear and you move your head back when you shiver because of it.
His face is now in front of yours because of it. And now you're both in a position to kiss. You can feel his body and mind contemplating it, by the way his head moves a little and how his breath starts to sound. You don't doubt that you're probably doing the same.
When you feel his hand squeeze around your hip, you give him a small peck on the lips. It took all of your courage and some of the intensity from the moment to do it.
You have no opportunity to berate yourself for doing it when he chases after your mouth immediately when you're about to pull away.
And now you're making out with...
"Suna." You sigh, feeling him manhandle you onto his lap
"Rin." He breathes quickly before he reaches for your mouth again.
You can't help the mewl you let out from savoring the moment like the repeated relief of taking off your shoes after a long day of walking.
"Rin." You repeat after him.
Rintaro, Rin, is breathing just as heavily against you as you are. He's going as far as you are, whatever you do, he does in return. When you swipe your tongue against his lips, he does the same, except you open your mouth to him when he does.
And now you're both kissing with tongue.
You moan particularly loud and he juts his hips up into you right before he pulls away from you, the look in his eyes something you so agonizingly wish you could see right now.
"I like you a lot." He confesses, moving his hands down to slither across your thighs and hold them there.
"I like you a lot too." You say back, gripping onto the hem of his hoodie.
"Yea?" Rin breathes against you, going back in to kiss you
"Mhm." You sigh in relief.
"Fuck, "He can't help but push up into you, "You're so fucking pretty."
"You think so?"
"Know so." He groans and heads towards your neck for an assault, holding you in place by the back of your neck. "I want you so bad."
You grind your hips against him, turned on by the confession, "I want you bad too."
BOOM!
And you get scared shitless by the bitchy thunder again, dragging you away from the intensity of your increasingly intense makeout session with Rintaro and into a breathless heap of laughter with him. He had fallen back onto the bed, dragging you down with him and into his arms, snuggled into the crook of his neck.
"Does this mean I can finally follow you on Instagram?"
"Huh?" You're still dazed from the oxygen sucking of a makeout you just shared with him
"I found it a long time ago, but you never gave it to me so I didn't wanna seem like a stalker. You looked really pretty in your post last week though. I like pink on you."
"Stalker!"
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gatorbites-imagines · 10 months
Note
Hi I see your requests are open!
Could you do a Flash ( Barry Allen) x alien reader?
Where the Reader's true form looks like the Martians, but dark purples and cool greys?
Apart of the Reader's culture, is rough housing. So they like to spar and chase around Barry. Though, apart of their rough housing is pinning. So everytime they spar, Reader pins Barry to the ground or wall, making him extremely flustered.
-Crow
Barry Allen x Alien Male reader
Headcanons
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We are back after kinktober, finally. Guess who handed in their last psychology assignment of the year, now it’s just my religion project and exams and I’ll be free until next semester.
For the martian appearance, I went with the more, what should I call it?? lizard? Plant? Looking? Appearance, you see in young justice.
Your species was from Mercury, meaning you were extremely hot blooded, which lead to your kind being, what should I say, competitive by nature. Martians and Mercurians descended from the same place, which is why your species were similar in some ways like appearance.
Unlike martians, you couldn’t shapeshift. Mercurians did have the ability of intangibility, power negation, and power amplification, along with the same type of telepathy and telekinesis you would find in martians.
Unlike the greens and other similar colours you would find on Mars, your people were cooler colours in contrast of the warm colours of your home planet. Every member of your species possessed different patterns in their skin as well, which wasn’t easily spotted by the naked eye.
It helped your people identify each other, and some of the spirit mediums claimed to be able to tell your future off these patterns, think like reading someone’s destiny in their palm.
The Mercurians had stayed away from earth as long as it had existed, but after larger and larger enemies showed up in your part of the galaxy, your people joined in on fighting them off.
You were the 6th child of the ruler of your planet at the time, your parent having been chosen as leader through democracy for many hundred years because of how just they were. But because of this, and your interest in interworld communication, you were the one sent to earth.
Here you met the justice league. The first person you got along with was of course J'onn J'onzz, and his niece M'gann M'orzz, as your people and culture were similar in some ways, and your people descended from the same origin.
Your inability to shapeshift made it hard for you to take part in human culture, even as you bonded with the other members of the league, like superman, the many green lanterns, M'ganns teammates, and so on and so forth.
It was on one of the days you were growing antsy for anything to happen that you fell into conversation with Barry, The Flash, as he was called. Talking to him calmed some of the fidgetiness in your body, there was just something about him and how fast he talked when he was passionate about a subject, that cooled your inner flames.
It also helped that he ran hot, as earth was much much colder than your home planet of Mercury. You also would never admit how it made your Mercurian vocal cords trill when he raved about your purple colour, and how it shifted in the sunlight.
J'onn teased you quite a lot as you started developing feelings for the speedster. You denied it vehemently, but even M'gann could tell and would tease you as well. All of this happened over your telepathy of course, so no one else on the team seemed to pick up on it, except for Batman, since he saw pretty much everything.
After some time, Barry seemed to pick up on your inability to stay still, or how you were always found in the gym beating up the equipment. It was J'onn who explained your people’s culture to him, and how roughhousing was the way your people bonded.
Because of this roughhousing not happening, you didn’t feel as close to the league as you would be able too. And Barry, who had started to develop feelings for you in return, found himself wondering if you might be interested in a sparring match.
When he finally summoned up the courage to ask, he didn’t even have time to doubt his act of asking, as you launched yourself at him like an overexcited cat, immediately wrestling him to the ground.
Barry hadn’t thought this fully through, as he found himself being pinned to the floor, the wall, the ceiling once or twice, throughout this sparring. He became so flustered that he almost forgot about his speed.
There was just something about how excited you seemed to be that someone finally wanted to roughhouse and spar with you, and the trills and chirps that rang from your chest and throat instinctually, only made him want to keep doing it.
This kept up for some time, both of you taking time out of your schedules to roughhouse at least once a week. And over time Barry was able to keep up, even though he still found himself blushing and sputtering when you pinned him just right.
J'onn ended up telling the rest of the team what was up, and roughhousing became part of the usual sparring when you were involved, for team bonding.
But what you and Barry had was something special, just between you two. And when you started adding your hidden stripes to his suits stitching, no one would be the wiser, except for maybe J'onn, who just seemed amused.
Your people didn’t kiss, you didn’t really have the lips, but you wanted to try it. Kissing Barry the first time after pinning him to the floor once again, had been a little awkward. Lips pressed against teeth, not much of the romantic liplocking you had seen in earth movies.
But Barry seemed just as passionate after realizing what was up, his arms immediately wrapping around you and kissing you back as passionately.
The roughhousing continued even as you started dating, and when the team found a way to let you alter your shape to a human one, you two would go on dates.
There were moments you felt self-conscious about your appearance, as many humans were more attractive, but Barry was always quick to wrestle you into his arms to tell you he loved you for who you were, and that he didn’t care about that stuff, and you were handsome to him.
Lets just say the first time Barry met your family it lead to a huge family wide roughhousing and wrestling, and he had to resort to using his speed more than once to not get mobbed by your family who wanted to bond with him and get to know him since you loved him so much.
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theemporium · 11 months
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It was supposed to be an innocent meeting.
You were a good student—an excellent one even. You chose your classes wisely, you didn’t let your grade drop and fluctuate much. You were sweet to your professors, you volunteered when you had free time, you excelled in your extracurriculars. You were the model student, the kind of student that other college students envied because you made it look so easy even if it was far from it.
Professor Sebastian Vettel’s class on apiology was right up your alley. You knew you were leaning more towards the environmental sciences for your major, but it also worked well with the credits you needed for the semester. And maybe it sounded a little cocky, but you didn’t think you would have much trouble in the class of one of the university’s most beloved professors. 
But you were wrong. 
You were struggling. You were struggling badly and it was starting to affect your overall grade for the year. And after receiving a disappointing mark on the last paper, you had sent Professor Vettel a pleading email for any extra credit projects that could help you boost your grade up. 
You tried not to feel disheartened when he replied that he doesn’t really do extra credit projects, but he advised you to visit his office on a Thursday night, just after his office hours. He told you he could see your potential and he just wanted to help a bright student shine in a class where you could be excelling in. 
You didn’t hesitate to accept his offer, thanking him immensely when you did.
You tried to ignore the way your heart stuttered when you walked through his office door after knocking, finding him sitting behind his desk. The top of his shirt was unbuttoned and exposing his chest, his sleeves were rolled to his elbows and, maybe it was the ambient light of the lamp beside him, but he looked far more casual and relaxed than he did in his classes. 
He greeted you with a soft smile and gestured towards the seat across from where you quickly settled down, tucking your hands under your thighs as you tried to ease the tightness in your chests. 
You hadn’t even meant to daze out when he started going over your last paper, but his words were going in one ear and out the other, and you just couldn’t focus on the words coming out his mouth when your eyes were so focused on the shape of his lips as he moved. It took an embarrassingly long time for you to realise he had stopped speaking, just looking at you expectantly as you flushed under his gaze.
“Come here.”
You blinked. “What?” 
“Come here,” he repeated again as he nodded towards his side of the desk. “I think it will help you to understand your mistakes if we look over it together.” 
“I—” You started but you cut yourself short as you hesitantly stood up, making your way around the desk. You paused as you stood by his seat, keeping your hands together as you glanced down at his laptop before glancing back at him. “Should I move a seat—”
“Sit down,” he said, his voice soft and commanding.
Your brows furrowed together. “What?”
“Sit down,” Sebastian repeated, his eyes darting down to his lap before looking back at you. “I won’t repeat myself.”
And maybe you should have just walked out of the office. Or even drag a chair around like you assumed he would want you to do. Maybe you should have done a lot of other logical things, but logic was never your forte when you were around Professor Vettel.
You cautiously lowered yourself onto his lap, perched on the edge like you were afraid to fully put your weight on him. And he let that slide—for a while at least. 
But as the minutes passed, his hands went from resting on the armrests to casually holding onto your waist. He leaned forward to point something out on his laptop, his lips right by your ear as he spoke but when he sat back, he pulled you back with him until your back was flushed against his chest. 
And despite your better judgement, you couldn’t help but give into every single one of his touches. 
“You’re squirming.”
You blinked, feeling your cheeks burn as you rose to stand up. “I’m sorry—”
His grip tightened on your waist, keeping your ass pressed against him. “I didn’t say it was a bad thing,” he continued, his thumbs rubbing up and down in a soothing movement. “I just wanted to make sure you were comfortable.” 
“I am, sir.” 
His hands fisted the material of your skirt in his hands. “Are you?” 
“Yes,” you breathed out, your eyes fluttering shut when you felt his warm palms on your thighs. “Sir—”
“Is there a problem?” He asked, his voice dropping a little as you resisted the urge to clench your thighs together.
“Should we be doing this?” You whispered.
“Do you want me to stop?” Sebastian retorted.
“No,” you said, a little high-pitched and whiny as your hand darted out to grip his wrist, to keep his hands on you. “Don’t…don’t stop.”
Because you didn’t want him to stop even if a part of you knew it was wrong. You didn’t want him to stop as his hands trailed up your thighs and under your skirt. You didn’t want him to stop as his fingers lightly teased you over your cotton panties. You didn’t want him to stop as he slowly slid your panties down your legs until they pooled at your ankles, his fingers buried deep inside you before you could even kick them off.
“Please,” you sobbed, your face tucked into the crook of his neck as you squirmed on his lap. But he didn’t give in.
“You wanted to discuss your paper,” Sebastian said, lightly slapping your inner thigh until your teary eyes were focused on his laptop screen again. “Don’t be greedy now, schatz.”
“Sir,” you whined, your hips bucking against his palm but he didn’t move his fingers. 
“Good girls only get to come when they do their work,” Sebastian continued, trying to bite back his smirk as you leaked down his wrist and your own thighs. “Do you want to be a good girl?”
You nodded, whimpering. 
“Then, focus on the screen. And then maybe I’ll let you come, if you’re a good student f’me, yeah?”
And it was far from the last paper you would meet Professor Vettel to discuss in his office after his office hours.
.
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cinnamonest · 5 months
Note
OMG I MISSED YOUR WRITINGS ON SCARAMOUCHE SO MUCH!!
Please I need the version with camgirl reader x incel Scaramouche 🛐
And I hope you are well !!! <3
The way I was gonna make this a fairly simple post and then I got carried away and now it's 9k words WHOOPS
Anyway YES anon, I am on the slut girl x virgin boy agenda... although since I already have a camgirl, this time I went with like an onlyf*ns/e-girl darling + college AU >:3
//noncon, cyberstalking, blackmail, harassment, misogyny, sadism, nipple/ass stuff, revenge porn/leaking, darling is portrayed as being feminine + implied to have a bf
---
You tell yourself it's just to get you through college.
That's how you convinced yourself to start the account — regular camming requires a schedule and streaming and all that, which you'd rather not do, whereas the other outlets let you sell subscriptions for photos and videos, and there was a decent market out there, so you took your best shot, did some work to advertise yourself on mainstream social sites, and hey, it worked. You soon find yourself with a steady stream of income, and all you have to do is masturbate on camera and take a few posed photos of your body.
A few years of some extra income, and then you'll be done, get a better job, and you can delete the account and scrub the internet clean of any trace of the matter. Maybe some guy out there will keep some of the photos, but it can't be that bad.
This way, you can focus on your academics, which a regular part-time job would be too time-consuming for. You don’t have to worry about scheduling classes around a work schedule, either, which allows you to be more choosy on your class schedule, ensuring you get the later classes and don’t have to wake up early each day.
Except one, where you had no choice but to take the early class, as the other sections filled up fast. It’s one of those required tech-involved ones, you just picked from the list at random — one of those big classes with hundreds of people in a huge auditorium, any degree of personalism drowned by the sheer number of people. It’s a male-dominated subject field, and the body of attending students when you walk in clearly reflects that, so you just sit down in the very back at the first unclaimed seat you can find, pausing to say good morning to the boy next to you, who only briefly looks your way in acknowledgement.
The professor goes over the generic first-day material — that yes, you need the expensive textbook, that yes, he will check attendance, and no, he will not give you extra credit at the last minute at the end of the semester, so on and so on… and—
—you’ll be working with the person next to you for the rest of the semester.
Even-numbered seats, the person to your immediate left, odd-numbered seats, to your immediate right. You turn and smile at the guy you’re thus assigned to, the same one you spoke to a few moments ago — once again, he just glances over at you and nods with some vague acknowledgement and then resumes doing what he’s been doing since the professor started, which is scrolling on his phone beneath the desk, only half-paying attention. That does not bode well for your predictions of how equally-yoked you’ll be in your work ethic… but no big deal.
It's one of those classes with a midterm and final project that you work on throughout the semester, rather than tests… which, hey, that could be fun, you tell yourself. You think you can get along. He doesn’t seem to care about what's going on around him much, which is not exactly good, but isn’t bad.
That dopey, happy demeanor… so obnoxious… ugh, you’ve got a notebook (an aesthetic, pretty one at that), and you're pulling it out on the first day of class? For what?
Except you aren’t reading him all that well at all. Unbeknownst to you, his eyes shift over to you and your activities throughout the class. And the reality is he very much does care.
That is, from the very second he lays eyes on you, you irritate him.
Then you write the class and your name at the top of the page all cutesy and artsy-looking, and then— God, now you're pulling out the multiple colors of highlighters and pens. Is that— is that one of those sparkly gel pens? Oh, it is. You’re making a little header with today’s date for your notes with it. Just kill him now. This is practically psychological torture.
Thus, while from your perspective, it feels like he barely pays you a second thought, in reality the rest of the period for him is spent just stewing in a stream of bitter, jaded thoughts.
Look at you with your… girl clothes and girl pens and girl notebook… you probably think you're so cute, spending money on dumb stuff like that… and smiling like an idiot. What are you so happy for. Why are you even taking this class when you'll just be bad at it. Why are you dressed like you put effort into it. Just pick up one of the sweatshirts laying on your bedroom floor like a reasonable person. And why do you smell so nice too.
He mulls over the negativity for the remainder of the class period, totally zoned out until people start packing up, which is the cue to leave.
Except you stop him before he can make a quick exit, holding out your phone, open to a new entry in your contacts.
Ah, since we'll need to work on the project, I can text you…
Right. That. Ugh.
The awkward discomfort of standing there and entering a name and number while you stand there with that dumb little nervous smile is only made more upsetting by the bitter realization that this will mark the first time he's ever had his number in a girl's phone before. Great, now he's going to be depressed for the rest of the day, and it's your fault.
You say thanks and smile again and your hands brush against his when you take your phone back and it makes him physically flinch in recoil — and you definitely noticed it, you mumble a little ah, sorry as if you're trying to make it even more awkward, now he's got to live with the humiliation of that too, and it's still your fault. Clearly, you are going to be nothing but a source of frustration.
And even once he's moped all the way back to the the comfort of his nice, dark apartment, he still can't escape your torment — no sooner does he flop down into bed than his phone goes off…
>Hi! Just wanted to make sure you can save my number too!
You add the little smiling emoji. It makes his eye twitch.
Trying to act all nice and sweet as if you're not only being pleasant because you're forced to work together. He knows full well you'd be all bitchy and demanding and hypersensitive in any other context, and probably all snobbish too, probably would barely pay him any mind.
Even if you are genuinely sweet, that in and of itself is still basically torturing him. Because what’s the point in you being sweet if you’re not going to give him anything more than that? With that in mind, even your niceness is just a cruel tease.
And why would you even be so happy to begin with? Doesn't being a girl suck? If he was something so weak and inferior and unintelligent, he'd be even more miserable about life, and that's really saying something. Maybe it's one of those things where you're so dumb that you lack self-awareness, so you can live a life of ignorant bliss... at the same time, the notion that you’re unaware of how inferior you are is equally frustrating. You should know, that knowledge should weigh on your mind all the time.
The frustration makes his chest feel tight, makes him grind his teeth… naturally, he has to get it out somehow, and there's a very convenient means to do so.
The imageboards he frequents almost always have a “leaked images” thread up and running, communities where they post e-girls’ nudes and revenge porn. The wrongness of it, of course, is the appeal.
Besides, they all deserve it. Some are images originally sent to boyfriends, posted as an act of revenge after cheating or dumping the guy (so it's deserved, really), others are leaked videos and photos from various pay-to-view networks and websites (also deserved, for being a whore), and finally some are just creepshots in public places (deserved once more, for dressing that way).
And the endless amount of the content and surprisingly good tagging system means that one can find any sort of content, and for the leaked porn accounts, it includes the girl's username and links to more of her, so you can see more of the same girl.
Like with this one, that just so happens to catch his eye. There's a whole page where some guy has paid for every single photo this girl has made, and put it out there for everyone to see for free. It's solo stuff, too, which is preferred — seeing couples making videos together, thereby watching the girl love on some guy, is depressing — and getting off to it is much more satisfying than any of the other girls on this thread, considering she looks like you.
…A lot, actually.
He's already memorized your annoying, pretty little face. The title of the video has the words “college girl” in it, too. Adds to the immersion, can feel like it’s really you, degrading yourself like that… of course, when it’s over, he has to deal with the reality that it isn’t, but the momentary pretending is cathartic.
And sure enough, as the first week passes, you quickly prove just as irritating as he initially suspected. You smile at him and talk to him every class, for some unknown, malicious ulterior motive. Are you trying to be belittling? Or are you trying to make him like you so that he'll do favors for you? Or is it for your own amusement?
Either way, the obvious deceit of it all is sickening. It's a commonly known female behavior. You try to come across as so sweet when in reality it's all an act, and you have some horrible reason for it. He just doesn't know what the reason is in your case yet. It would be better to be a bad person outright — the slimy underhanded fakeness of it all is what makes that type of evil so contemptible.
You, though, you’re just a bit puzzled. Normally, being nice to people works well… but this guy keeps sort of glaring at you… maybe that’s just how his face naturally is? But then, he also doesn’t talk very nice either. Not particularly mean, per se, but you can sort of sense an irritation, like you’ve done something wrong… you try to make the best of it, tell yourself you’re just imagining it. Besides, if he really didn’t like you, he wouldn’t respond when you talk to him, or would sit elsewhere, right? It’s not like you have to maintain the same seats all semester, as long as you work on the required material outside of class. So, you tell yourself, he must just be one of those people that naturally has that demeanor.
You’re not nearly as aware of it, but he makes his own observations of you too. You don’t check your phone nearly as much as he does, but every now and then, you look at something or another, and he always makes sure to subtly turn his eyes to see… it’s usually something stupid, like texts from friends, or worse, what appears to be a boyfriend, some male name you text often.
The first time you’re forced to meet outside of class, at the library per your suggestion — a very awkward interaction, but you seem to be fairly unbothered — you take a moment to check it when it vibrates. You’re sitting at an angle that makes it difficult for him to see without moving in a way that would catch your attention, but by pretending to take a swig of whatever can of liquid caffeine he has today (you had the audacity to comment how unhealthy it is), that he can tilt his head enough just to barely make out your screen without being noticed.
Your phone is open to an email.
The words flash across the screen for just a split second before you turn the screen off, but that one second is enough to make out the top of the screen. Enough time for the ‘hello, (username),’ preface to the email right beneath a very familiar blue logo to register with his brain.
He nearly chokes.
It takes every ounce of willpower to even try to hide the natural reaction — his eyes widen, he goes tense, he has to turn his torso away and pretend to fish something out of his cluttered bottomless void of a backpack whilst trying to refrain from coughing.
But then again, you put the phone away so quickly once you saw what it was… and the video from the other day…?
No. That can't be right.
There's no way. There's no way, there's no way, there's no way.
He can’t get back to his own place fast enough. Dropping the keys trying to unlock the door out of excitement, immediately whipping out his own phone, and he’s on the bookmarks tab before he can even sit down. Back to the leaks site, scrolling down to the tags where they put the girl’s username.
You’re wholly unbothered, going right back to talking to him in that overly-sweet tone, so nice, so frustrating, so torturous. You’re saying something. He has to get you to repeat yourself… no, it was just some pointless question about the homework.
To hell with that, that’s not even remotely important anymore… but he can’t voice that thought out loud, so he’s forced to tolerate the torment of waiting out the rest of your meeting until you finally say you’ll have to keep working later.
The usernames match. The one in your email was the exact same as the one now on the screen.
It's one of those moments where what's in front of him is so surreal, he's left so stunned, that he just sits there for a second, completely still, blinking and taking it in. Something that's too perfect to be real. This can't be actually happening, he's mistaken.
And thus he's just left perfectly still, a stupor of disbelief, sitting there in the darkness of the room with only the harsh light of phone screen shining up on his face as it slowly sinks in. It takes a minute — this is just the sort of thing that doesn't happen, it's far too perfect, he has to convince himself it isn't a dream.
And once it registers as reality, it feels exhilarating.
For one, it proves every suspicion right. He really did have a valid reason to be distrusting of your innocent girl act. To think, this whole time you were trying to fool him into believing you were good.
But all along, you were whoring out online, and basically, the fact that you're not upfront about that to someone you barely know is the same as outright lying about it.
Up until this point, life has just been so boring, so disappointing, just going through day to day… even college was just a thing to do because it's what everyone else does. But now? Now he has something exciting. A sudden sense of something meaningful, even if only as an outlet for pure, unadulterated malice.
As for you, well, you get a… well, a follower, but certainly not a fan.
The boy is a world-class hater. It's not passive hating, it's active hating. There is actual effort being put in here, and a lot of it at that.
In terms of the content itself, it's nothing you haven't seen before — some guy leaving comments and DMs calling you a whore and a slut and every nasty name one can conjure, saying you've ruined any hopes of a relationship by doing this, why would anyone ever date you when they can see you naked for a few bucks, telling you to get a real job, blah blah… fairly generic. A lot of the verbiage is certainly non-original, and more or less recycled, specific choices of words and phrases and lingo you know you’ve seen before in those pockets of the internet where certain types of men congregate.
But the sheer dedication to it is what catches you off guard. You're pretty sure this guy is more dedicated to harassing you than you are to the job itself. There's messages from all hours of the day, and you're certain after a short time that he makes multiple accounts for the sole purpose of harassing you. Not to mention he follows or adds you on everything — all the socials you've linked (you keep several associated to your account to lure in horny guys from mainstream sites), adds you on discord and any other messaging app you have (and you have no way of knowing which users are legitimate or if it's him, so you have to add them back and wait to find out each time). One of which you didn't even have listed on your page, so you realize he would have had to go through various apps and search the multiple variations of your username you use until finding you.
Telling him to fuck off accomplishes nothing, in fact he seems to derive great satisfaction from making you upset about it. Tells you that you should be glad — you wanted male attention, right? You wouldn't be posting yourself getting off and flashing your tits on camera for the world to see if you didn't, slut. He adds that insult to just about everything he says to you.
Blocking him only leads to him making new accounts (and then mocking you for trying to block him). You even reached out to a customer support team on one of your social media apps and got him permanently IP banned, which he then immediately circumvented in less than a few hours, making sure to inform you that changing one's IP is so easy and you're so dumb for thinking that would do anything.
But why you, specifically? Why decide to torment you out of every other girl doing this stuff? You don't know. You never asked for this. You never did anything wrong to anyone. You even scrolled back on your social accounts to see if you ever said anything someone could take offensively or had a negative interaction with someone, but found nothing. There's nothing to explain why this one man in particular has decided to come after you specifically, nothing you can think of at least. It feels like the universe just hates you.
It's actually kinda sad. You almost feel bad for this guy, who apparently has so much time to spare and nothing better to do than harass the same girl on the internet day in and day out. You did once shoot back a reply of don’t you have anything better to do?, which actually did make him stop… for about ten hours or so, then it was right back to it.
It's deserved, though, he thinks. E-girls are reprehensible. Taking advantage of guys’ loneliness for money.
Infuriating that you advertise something that he— well, that most guys want so bad, but don't actually give the real thing, only a simulation of it. Make them drool over you, while you hide behind the safety of the screen, far away from what those guys would do to you if they could get their hands on you.
And you know that too, don't you? You know how defenseless you are, know how much danger you'd be in if you teased without putting out like that to a guy in real life, and you do it anyway knowing you're untouchable, you must be so smug about it. Infuriating.
He's not like those simps of yours though, he finds you too morally reprehensible to be drawn to the curves of your body and the parts of you that you post and the sounds you make and how easy it is to imagine the softness of your skin and the way you feel and your warmth and the way you look directly into the camera as you moan and it feels like eye contact—
Anyway, he has standards. And self-respect.
Besides, he knows from stalking your social accounts — including your real ones with your real identity attached, separate from the others — that you have something like a boyfriend. Some guy who shows up in your pictures a lot. What a pathetic idiot. Who lets their girlfriend do this sort of thing? Even disregarding that, does this guy not know you’re meeting with him for your project too? He would never allow you to do something like that, were it him in that position. You must go after spineless guys who will let you walk all over them or something, and would only even accept boyfriends that allow you to do what you do.
That’s why, see, he would never accept something like that. Sure, there would be positives, like getting to see that sweet annoying smile and hear your happy obnoxious precious voice each and every day, and getting to touch you and be around you all the time, and you probably do really nice things for the person you’re with too, and he could always just force you to delete the accounts and never post yourself online again— but, whatever.
Point is, he’s better than stooping so low. He’ll keep living a respectable life, just like he does now — so he thinks as the phone alarm goes off, one of many set reminders to go send you more messages.
It's an awkward relationship, but you're pretty sure he doesn't hate you or anything, which is good. He's hard to read — he seems perpetually either bored or irritated, always slouched over, always maintaining that ‘I really wish I weren't here right now’ tone of voice, lots of heavy sighs or tsks scattered into his speech. Even when you agree to meet at the library to work on the homework and midterm project, he quickly establishes a pattern of being at least ten to fifteen minutes late (without any acknowledgement or apology at that), and frankly, you do the vast majority of the actual work, he just slaps his name on the corner next to yours once it's done.
The torment detracts from your sleep. You're late to your class more than once, trying to sneak in unnoticed by the professor and mumbling apologies to the students you have to slip by to get to your seat. Your partner doesn't seem to care much, at least — he just lazily glances over at you with a flat expression, then goes back to scrolling (he doesn't need to take notes, you'll just send him yours anyway).
He does step in to help when it's too difficult, you can't solve the problem yourself… which is how you realize that, in spite of being remarkably low-effort, he actually does understand the material, much better than you do at that. It's a bit embarrassing, since he makes it out to be so simple, but at least it somewhat compensates for all the work you do.
He's not particularly mean about it, he's just… not nice. The tone and choice of words tends to be not-so-subtly making you out to be dumb for not getting it, or that it's easy, or otherwise belittling.
…You really don't get that one? It's the exact same thing as the last one.
You give a sheepish smile and rub the back of your head.
Aha… sorry…
But it gets done, and that's what matters. You just walk away from each meeting feeling like an idiot, which isn't exactly a great feeling.
But even though you initially felt like the guy didn’t care for you, you quickly notice that he’s started to walk all the way back to your place after your meetings while you talk. You supposed he wouldn’t do that if he didn’t at least somewhat enjoy your company.
And you do try to make conversation. You ask about what other classes he takes…only to learn that he doesn't go to any other classes, since this is the only one where attending is required. He did the math, and he just has to do good on the finals for the other classes to pass, no need to show up for the tests and quizzes and lectures and stuff… and he did research into the professors to find ones where past students confirm they recycle the exact same tests and the past ones are posted online, and he's already got a good cheating method that's only been caught once in all the years he's used it… so there's no point in showing up, he says.
It's a very different mentality than yours, but you try to smile and refrain from saying anything negative. And you try interests and social life as topics, but quickly glean from what little he says that the guy has none of the latter and more or less just a phone and gaming addiction for the former.
Which you have no trouble believing, because good God, does the boy have a totally fried attention span. Even in your meetings, you swear he can't go five minutes without staring at his phone.
Oh, you like that too…?
That does end up helping you find a means to try and get closer. You manage to find one opening, something flash across the screen for some upcoming game. One you've been looking forward to as well.
Huh? You can’t like that thing. He likes that thing. It's not for females. It’s for people with good taste… it’s good… you can’t… someone like you would never be able to properly appreciate it… and now you’re just babbling away with that dumb smile while he’s going through a psychological crisis and rethinking every choice in life because of you. Does this put you two on the same intellectual level...? No, of course not, he has to quickly shake off any such doubts.
You were hoping to get a positive reaction, but you get silent bewilderment in his expression at first, for just a second.
Still, you’re supposed to be boring and a normie… you can’t just suddenly shatter the image of you he’s already constructed… and from the way you're talking about it, you know too much to just be pretending to like something for attention (which is the obvious automatic assumption for when females like media that's actually good and worth consuming).
Devastating. Now he has to consider the possibility that you do have interests and a personality besides being deceitfully sweet and whoring online.
But from your perspective, he just crosses his arms and shrugs.
Kind of, I guess.
And God, then you smile at him again. Every time you do that, it gives him some godawful tight-chested feeling, like you’re trying to kill him with psychic damage.
What gives you the right to be so happy right now anyway? Aren’t you supposed to be in constant distress, now? Is he not doing good enough of a job at tormenting you? You seemed upset, but clearly not upset enough, if you’re still emotionally stable enough to be nice to him. He has to break you, make you too distraught to even go on.
Online, you’re so mean, you never have anything nice to say, even though he’s not that mean to you — well, he could be worse, at least, which is basically the same thing.
Actually, he decides, how you behave in real life will be a good standard of how good he’s doing at making your life miserable. Once it starts to noticeably affect you even in real life, that means it’s sufficient.
But you prove resilient. Each day, you seem to get up, summon some resolve to still enjoy your life, and are still pleasant and friendly… or maybe you’re just really good at acting. Yes, obviously that’s it, since your whole sweetness thing is just an act in the first place.
On your end, the harassment gets worse. It comes in all hours of the day — does this guy not sleep? It’s almost hard to believe someone hates you this much, or even has the energy to keep this up… you start trying to just ignore it.
You tried threatening to report the guy for harassment, but he points out that he hasn’t threatened you with any real harm, and only targeted your public accounts, so no laws broken… and he’s already prepared by taking measures to— well, you don’t understand the spew of lingo that follows, but you gather that the jist is that it would be very difficult to trace him.
So you start to ignore it. You try your best to just not let it get to you, let the comments and messages go without acknowledgement or response. It’s actually somewhat relieving, if you just pretend it doesn’t exist. At first, when you start ignoring him, the messages get more frequent.
But then, it goes quiet for a day. Just around twenty-four hours, you don't get messages, nor comments.
It should make you feel relieved, you think, but it doesn't. Quite the opposite — you feel uneasy. Like something will happen.
He's getting bored, you see. You don't react as strongly anymore as you used to. You used to get so upset at all the messages he sent, and it was so fun to watch how you'd get all defensive and angry in your replies.
Then your replies got shorter, and now— what gives your the right to ignore him? It infuriates him. Dumb whore, treating him like you think you're so much better… or, the gut-wrenching thought passes through his mind, maybe you're busy, you’re probably visiting the guys you sleep around with, since someone like you could never be loyal to that boyfriend he's certain you have.
The only option is to progress things further. He has to think about that. He didn't really have a plan on where to go from here, but now he's started to think about the bigger picture, what he wants in the long term… and that's not going to go over well for you.
It takes some work and digging on his end, but it's worth it.
It's around three in the morning when your phone goes off. It just barely manages to wake you up. You think to yourself that you should remember to turn off the notifications for messaging apps… but for now, you sit up, groggily unlocking your phone. Seeing who the message is from, though, snaps you into full alertness.
A message that makes you go stiff, staring at your phone wide-eyed and slack-jawed, a cold knot of dread forming in your gut that quickly turns to an electrifying surge of pure panic as you read.
The name of your academic institution. The names, emails and phone numbers of your immediate family members. Your full, real name — and your address, down to the unit number.
Your heart sinks into your stomach. The glaring light hurts your tired eyes, but you can't look away.
You know he's just waiting on a response. Probably knows you're panicking, but knows you have no choice but to comply — and you're forced to give him the satisfaction of seeing you type back.
>What do you want from me?
It's only a few seconds before you get a reply.
>From now on, do what I want
>Or I ruin your life.
You hesitate a while before responding. Poor you, you must be so scared now that you're finally getting what you deserve. And even then, you just send back a ‘fine,’ even though it took you so long to respond. You were probably trying to think of how to respond, probably typed out longer potential replies, but decided on that to seem tough or something. That's actually almost endearing.
And oh, it's so, so satisfying to finally see you crumble, even if just a bit, the next day. For you to come shuffling into class for once with a downtrodden, nervous expression, making your way over to your spot without the usual greeting.
…Except that's also irritating. What makes you think you can just not say hello, now that you've established a routine of doing so every day of this class? For all you know, he's just the person you know in real life, so you're basically willingly choosing to potentially disappoint him. Not that you are disappointing him, but like, if he actually cared about your dumb little daily greeting, then he would be. He even gives you several extra seconds, and you still don't do it.
You're still fidgeting nervously, lost in thought when the mumbling directed at you pulls you out of your thoughts.
…Something wrong with you?
You seem to realize your sullen energy and attempt to fix it with a twitching, obviously forced smile.
O-oh, no, I'm just tired, haha… good morning!
He doesn't say anything back, just turns back to phone-scrolling as usual. You realize your melancholy must be showing on your face.
You're being overdramatic, too, he thinks. He didn't even give you any demands yet, since he decided it would be more fun to make you wait in suspense for a few hours or so. Seeing you squirm is funny, but really, you're acting like it's so much worse than it is. What a weakling, so sensitive.
It's just gonna be stuff you're used to anyway…
Which is somewhat true. You're used to the demand for private, custom content.
Men pay you sometimes incredible amounts of money for the stuff. Usually, the customization is about personalization — sometimes it's kind of sad, wanting you to say their name or that you love them while you look at the camera, and sometimes it's just more niche fetish stuff, like pictures of your feet or wearing a weird costume.
But everything this mystery man wants is different — the personalization has to do with the fact that it's painful, humiliating, or both. Moreover, he's never content with the first try.
Stuffing your holes with toys and sitting down on them so they go all the way in, specifically, ‘as many as you can fit’ — but even after the painful effort of getting one in each hole—
>That's not enough.
You can fit at least one more somewhere. And you're intentionally using the smaller toys, aren't you? You won't be able to do that next time, so don't try that again.
Then there's the command to get those clamps on your nipples you used in a video of yours a long time ago, the ones connected to each other by a chain, and to tighten them then pull hard enough for them to come off. You have to take a few deep breaths to summon the ability to do it, and even then, it takes a few tugs to get them to come off. By the time they do, your nipples are swollen and red and your eyes are watery from the sting, but nonetheless, a message comes through within a minute of sending the video.
>You didn't tighten them all the way first.
>Do it over.
Or the one to deep throat that one huge toy you have, the one you used in this one video a long time ago — which you now regret ever posting, since there's a reason that you never used that monstrosity again, much less in your throat. At first you're not even sure you can fit it into your mouth, but you force it somehow.
On and on the demands come. He's not paying for any of it, of course, but the premise is the same.
Still, it's not enough. Come on, you didn't even get it very far in, you have to at least get half down your throat. And you didn't hold the phone close enough, can't hear your gagging choking sounds.
>Do it again.
The timing is often terrible, shortly before or after your classes, or odd hours of the night, forcing you to stop whatever you're doing to meet the demand. Thankfully, though, at least you've never gotten a message from him during your meetups with your class partner — you're certain your distress would show on your face, and it would be hard to come up with an excuse for it.
It becomes such routine, and all happens so quickly, it feels surreal, like you're just forced to accept it and go with it. There’s no time to really process it, as you have to get back to doing your school work and going to class and trying to keep up with your regular video content, it's all so overwhelming, yet so simple, you just have to do what you have to do.
One moment you're slapping yourself in the face while you bounce up and down on a toy so long that it bruises your insides for some jerk that's blackmailing you, and running to class the next, desperately trying to rub at the marks on your face to make them go away.
You're worried that the stress is beginning to show. Your most recent quiz scores are lower than usual, you're getting less sleep. Your insides are always sore. You're paranoid and uneasy, and you know it has to be somewhat evident.
Some of the individual demands have lasting consequences, too. Once you were commanded to choke yourself with a belt on camera, specifically until it left bruises… which you begged and protested against because you had one of your class partner meet-ups scheduled for later the same day, but your tormentor said he didn't care and insisted, so you did it, forcing yourself to go through it… and sending an additional picture at the end just to show the purplish marks in detail, up close.
It wasn't the end of the world for your meeting though — the weather wasn't right for it, but you found something that covered your neck up, at least, so the bruises didn't show. That much, at least, allows you to be at ease… although your classmate seems to be in a particularly bad mood that day.
On another occasion, you find yourself laying on your side, gasping and wincing trying to force one of the larger toys you have into your ass, all the way to the base as instructed, toes curling as you pump it back and forth, in and out… only to be told you weren't supposed to touch yourself while you did it, so, predictably, you have to do it again, the ring of muscle clenching down as it's stretched — and, of course, the act leaves a remnant sensation lasting the rest of the day. You have to rush it too, or you'll be late, due to the horrible timing of the command.
You manage to get to class, but when you move to sit, an ache of pain runs up your spine from your poor abused hole, and you wince, face grimacing at the pain.
It doesn't go unnoticed. The guy next to you, ever observant to everything except the professor, casts a lazy glance over to you, looks you up and down before asking what’s the matter, albeit in a half-caring, bored tone of voice…
You give the oh, nothing, I'm fine! response, stammer out something about hurting your leg yesterday, and he merely gives you an 'ah' of acknowledgement before turning his gaze back down… he rests his chin against his hand so that his mouth is covered up, but you swear, you can detect a slight grin from the shape of his eyes. You suppose it checks out that he'd find your clumsiness amusing, even if it's a lie.
On and on it goes. All the time. Day in, day out. It starts off as once per day, but then your tormentor starts piling smaller requests on top of those. Even beyond the daily video, you get increasingly frequent messages at all times of the day — to take a picture of your tits or ass, or a short video of you fingering yourself, or some sort of angle or pose of your body, writing something on your skin, so on and so on.
He doesn't accept any delays, either. You only get a few minutes to fulfill a demand before getting an impatient follow-up asking what the hold up is. Sleep isn't an excuse either, so you're told, so you have to start turning your phone on loud at night to wake you if need be.
You sense a growing impatience. The frequency increases still, as does the intensity of the content you're forced to make. It's as if it's building up to something — surely it has to reach a limit, or he has to get bored, or he'll ditch you and find a new outlet for his sadistic thrills, you hope. You just hope it ends in a way that's positive for you… but you're afraid of the opposite. What if even after all this, he just ruins your life anyway? It's a very real possibility, one you begin considering increasingly as you think over the whole situation.
The increasing severity and number of demands makes you feel like he's getting more upset, as if you're doing something that makes him mad, even though you have no idea what that could be.
You are right, though.
He's also noticed how much more frequently he gets the urge to demand something from you. How much more the itch has grown, the compulsive need to see you hurting and degrading yourself more and more. You've long since passed the point where he has more videos and photos of you all to himself than those available online — he's been counting — but it's still not enough.
And with the realizations that he's engaging with you more, he realizes that he's also thinking about you more.
No, “more” isn't quite accurate. All the time. Constantly. You never leave his head, everything else feels like a distraction.
And that's only more infuriating. He's very self-aware, realizes it's getting worse, realizes you essentially occupy his thoughts every waking second.
Even then, the distractions aren't working. At one point he realized he literally cannot stop himself from messaging you, it's a compulsion, a need, and the realization of his own lack of self-control regarding it is maddening. He actively tried, told himself to wait until the next day, but just couldn't. Even if he plays games or watches whatever brain-rotting media he tries to consume, his thoughts keep drifting to you. Hell, ever since latching onto you, he’s stopped harassing other random women online in general, and that was pretty much one of his biggest hobbies in the past.
What gives you the right? To get inside his head like that? Make him constantly distracted and wondering about what you're doing, forcing him to keep tabs on you? What makes you think you can just come into his life and control him like this, and think you'll get away with it? You've more or less taken advantage of an innocent person who did nothing wrong to you. Used your body to exploit his weaknesses and manipulate him into doing all this.
You don't get to do that. You have to be held accountable.
You're constantly making him worry about you, what you're doing, who you're talking to, and not knowing is a maddening feeling. It feels like nausea, a sick feeling that completely consumes the mind, rendering it incapable of doing or focusing on anything else, only cycling the same obsessive rage and worry and paranoia until it becomes unbearable.
But there's a way to get rid of that, and give you what you deserve, and get what you owe him all at the same time.
He waits, only another week or so — a frustrating week, but spent planning ahead and gathering necessary stuff — but finally, given the timing, you send a text he was hoping you'd send asking about meeting up again, to finish up the project as the end of the semester approaches.
You're a bit caught off-guard by the message, not to mention how quickly he replies.
>Come over here.
You hesitate, re-reading to try and ensure that you're understanding correctly, and finally ask for clarification that he means to his place.
He says yes. Something about how he's supposed to have something delivered that he'll have to sign, and so he has to be at the apartment when that happens, so, y'know, best for you to come over.
Which is nice.
It's just… odd.
Inviting you over, even if for a required activity, feels very out of line with the person you've come to know, however surface-level said knowing may be. Then again, maybe this is the guy's way of trying to be nice. Everyone expresses appreciation differently.
You're still thinking on it when he adds another text saying that his roommate will be there, preemptively apologizes for any disturbance that will cause… well, you figure if someone else is there, it can’t be anything sinister. That helps you make up your mind, so you agree. At this point, you know each other well enough to warrant trust.
…It’s still pretty awkward, though. The apartment is about like a picture you would expect to see uploaded to the internet as a joke about male living spaces. Borderline barren, barring the computer and the bare minimum furniture and appliances needed to survive, plus some clothes and empty cans and such strewn in various places across the floor, all dark lighting and void of color.
That being said, you quickly realize the apartment is only a studio, and there’s only one bed. The roommate doesn't exist.
And something just feels wrong, in a way you can’t articulate. Like your instincts are urging you to leave. You feel uneasy. Goosebumps spread across your skin. Are you just being paranoid…?
There is something else, though, that immediately catches your attention. You notice that the wall isn’t exposed, rather, most of the room is covered with a layer of some sort of paneling, lining the wall almost as thoroughly as wallpaper. You inquire what it is.
Soundproofing.
An unpleasant answer, but he wouldn’t be so upfront about it unless it was for harmless reasons. You refrain from inquiring about the other odd things you start to notice — locks on some cabinets despite seemingly living alone, a roll of tape sitting on the desk with no discernable purpose.
As awkward as the tension is, you really have no option but to sit on the bed, as its the only surface other than the floor. You try not to contemplate how often the average college-aged boy washes bedsheets.
It occurs to you, though, that right now would be the worst possible timing for a message from your unknown harasser, and you certainly can’t take any photos or videos here… thus, just as you sit down and begin to work, you pick up your phone from where you set yours next to his, and type out a quick message, basically pleading with the unknown man to leave you along for the next few hours, because, as you explain, you literally can’t do anything for the time being.
You read it over, and hit send.
And before you can even put the phone back down, there's a vibration a mere arms-length away from you, as the other phone in the room lights up.
And there, in the notification that pops up on the screen, are the very words you just sent.
There's a few seconds where nothing happens.
Both your heads naturally turn to the sound the moment it happens, but after that, it's just… still. You’re frozen still, he’s frozen still. Both your eyes go wide, and the quiet seconds pass, processing the information before you.
And then, he sighs, body relaxing, reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose, muttering as if met with some major inconvenience.
God, why do you have to make this more difficult.
Besides, he already turned the lock that locks you in from the inside, even though you probably weren’t aware of what it was, so you’re already trapped anyway. And you squeal, of course, predictably, but that’s what the soundproof panels are for.
He's not particularly worried like he would have been any other time — this was the plan now anyway, but you're throwing things off schedule. Yet another transgression to hold you accountable for.
You do try to run. You at least deserve that much credit. He was so close to considering you a genuine marvel of human evolution, with how nonfunctional your survival instincts seemed to be.
But you’re sitting with your legs folded, so, you don’t have the time required to stand any chance of hopping up and running. The moment your legs start to move to stand, he’s already got you by the arm.
You even seemed to process everything a bit quicker than he would have thought. Maybe you’re not that stupid after all, just… a little less.
You still are incredibly stupid though. He’s almost surprised you agreed to come. So naive, so dumb, so trusting.
And so loud. Squealing like a little animal caught by a predator — which, well, isn’t too far off, but it still hurts his ears.
Shut up, shut up, shut up…
You can hear the growling voice in your ear, even now that he has your face pressed into the mattress, arm latched around your waist. You’re squirming so hard too, but even fighting with all the strength you can summon, it feels like trying to push back a brick wall. He seems to notice as much as you do.
…Is that actually the best you can do?
Not the first time he’s said those words to you — though before, it was over text, mocking you into filling all those perverse desires. It feels far more biting now.
And it’s so, so, so satisfying to see you realize just how dumb you are, as you put everything together. To watch you slowly grasp everything, realize just how badly you’ve fucked up. He even flips you onto your back just to see your face go through all the stages of emotion. It’s hilarious, and adorable too. The confusion and betrayal and panic and anger.
Oh, you get so mad. It’s actually the best part. You’re practically snarling now, reaching up to try and claw at him, kicking, baring your teeth. Any traces of the sweet demeanor you once held is long gone as you lash out… and then, a purely and entirely euphoric transition to fear.
Aw. Poor thing. After you struggle so much, your breathing gets faster, the fury dissipates as your eyes well with tears. The demands to let you go turn to miserable little pleas.
Maybe you can go back and forth. Maybe if he taunts you again you’ll get angry once more, and then if he slaps you you’ll get meek and fearful again? That would be nice, to have reliable ways to switch your emotions around, as if controlling them with a button. There will be plenty of time to find out later.
But now he gets the opportunity to finally tell you how long you made him wait for this. Mocks you for how naive you were. Brings up specifics from all those videos you sent him. Did you think it would just be left at that? Did you really not realize it wouldn’t be enough? No, of course you didn’t, and that’s why you ended up coming here like the dumb little slut you are.
And look, you even wore something so easy to flip up, practically easy access. You just have no shame at all, do you. See, it goes in perfectly because you’ve been using those toys for those videos, and… ah, so that’s— that’s what it feels like… holy shit… this is what you basically robbed him of all this time? Now you’ll really have to suffer to make up for it…
Well, you wouldn’t get it. It’s about what you did subconsciously, mind games and all that. His torment was intentional on your end, and that’s what matters. Now you'll get to spend a very very long time atoning for it. You should be happy. You won't even have to worry about making money anymore.
This wouldn’t be happening to you if you didn’t do what you did to him, you know. It’s your fault. He tells you so. And when you look up at him, eyes welled with tears, stammering out a question of what he means—
What did I ever d-do to you…?
—he realizes that it’s… difficult to give that question a concrete answer.
What did you do, really...?
The only problem that remains is how you rushed things. He was at least going to wait until you finished the project, but now it’s incomplete… do professors grant extensions if your partner goes missing…?
201 notes · View notes
bingwriterxo · 1 year
Text
the shakespeare exhibit - part 8
pairing: tara carpenter x reader
summary: in which you and tara both have things to talk about
warnings: mentions of stabbing, talks of substance abuse and verbal abuse
word count: 2700+
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Finals season was in full swing at Blackmore University, sending its students into poor sleep schedules and even worse diets as they attempted to cram a semester’s worth of information into their brains.
You and Tara, unfortunately, were no exception. For the past week, the two of you had holed yourselves up in either the library or one of your apartments, your noses stuck in your books and your hands fumbling around for an energy drink whenever you needed a pick-me-up.
The only time you had taken a break was to celebrate Tara’s 20th birthday, but even then it was hardly a celebration. You had gathered all of her friends at her apartment, had a small party consisting of drinks and movies, and then went right back to studying, Tara in tow.
Safe to say, the stress levels were at an all-time-high, especially for Tara, who was experiencing her first round of finals in university. You had offered her a few studying tips, since you had already gone through the struggles of freshman-year exams the year prior, before immersing yourself in your own revision.
You were in the midst of reviewing for your Romantic Literature course--the last final that you had for the semester--when your mother called you, leading you to slip out of Tara’s bedroom and into the hallway to speak to her.
Tara sat at her desk, grumbling as she tried to study for her Introduction to Literature course. This is just as stupid as it was when I was studying for the midterm, she thought, eyes scanning her notes about Emily Dickinson. Maybe it’s even more stupid now.
Your voice broke her concentration as you walked back into her room, and she twisted her chair around to face you. “Yeah, that sounds good. I’ll ask her, alright?” You rolled your eyes and pointed at your phone, mouthing, she talks so much. Tara giggled softly, extending her arms for you to stand between, and you sighed as you slid into place, her fingers rubbing over your hips. “Okay. Yup. Yeah, okay. Yeah. Right. Okay, bye, mom.”
“What was that all about?” Tara asked when you hung up, throwing your phone onto her desk. “Did Eddie pull another prank on the Dylan Thomas statue again?”
You chuckled, thinking about the photo that your brother had sent you the week before—he had put a wig, makeup, and a shaving-cream beard on the statue of your grandfather’s late friend. “No, no. The statue garden has gone untouched this week.”
She shook her head, a grin on her face. “I still can’t believe you guys have a statue garden,” she said. But of course her family does. Because why wouldn’t they?
“Well, my dad’s always been big into statues. Like, when he was younger, he--” You cut yourself off. “That’s not important. Anyway, my mom invited us to spend Christmas at the house.” Tara’s eyes lit up, a type of joy that she didn���t know existed rushing through her. Us? she thought. I’ve been invited to family Christmas? “Do you want to go--”
“Yes!” she exclaimed immediately, nodding her head fervently. “Please, yes.” Shit, I’ll need to buy presents. What the hell do you get for kids who could buy anything they’ve ever wanted?
You giggled at her enthusiasm and tilted your head. “Are you sure you and Sam aren’t going back to California for the holidays?” you asked.
Back to California? Back to…Woodsboro? She furrowed her eyebrows, biting her bottom lip. “Why would we go to Cali?”
You squirmed a little where you stood. What’s she so nervous about? she wondered. “I just thought you might want to see your mom?” Your voice pitched on the last word, and Tara tensed, her arms falling to her sides. You frowned and reached out, but she pulled back, swallowing.
“No, there’s--we’re not--no,” she stammered out, her voice short. She shook her head. “I’ll be here.”
You nodded. “Okay.”
Tara wanted the conversation to be over, but your lips were pursed like you still had something you wanted to say. “What?” she asked.
You shook your head. “Nothing!”
She clenched her jaw and narrowed her eyes at you. “No, you look like you have something to say. What?”
“I just…you’ve never spoken about her. Maybe we could--”
That’s because there’s nothing to say.” She’s good for nothing, she thought. “I don’t like to talk about her.” I’d rather read Shakespeare, which is really saying something.
“But--”
“No.” Her voice was stern, clear-cut, and she watched as you deflated a little, your eyes flitting around the room. She sighed, running a hand down her face. “I’m not doing this right now, okay? I’m not talking about her.”
“Tar…” The nickname came out as a coo, soft and careful and meant to be comforting, but it ignited a strange irritation beneath Tara’s skin, and something in her snapped.
“Listen, we can’t all have a perfect-fucking-family, okay?” she shouted, and you flinched, taking a step back, your eyes widening at her sudden outburst. “Just because you have parents who are there and who care doesn’t mean everyone does! I mean, Jesus, my mom didn’t even come to see me last year after--” After Amber stabbed me half-to-death, she finished in her head.
The air was tense, quiet. You stood in front of her, worrying your bottom lip between your teeth, and Tara cursed herself when she noticed that your hands were trembling slightly.
“Baby…” She reached out for you, but her fingers met open air as you shook your head and crossed the room to grab your things from her bed.
“It’s fine. I--I shouldn’t have pushed,” you rushed out, your voice shaking. You threw your notebook and laptop into your backpack hastily before hurrying to the door. Tara stood, desperate to do something to stop you from leaving, but she didn’t get the chance as you said, “I’m sorry.” Of course she’d apologize when I snapped at her. “I’ll see you later, yeah?”
The door shutting behind you pulled all the air from Tara’s lungs, and she fell back into her chair, holding her face in her hands.
“God fucking damnit,” she groaned. “Stupid, stupid, stupid.”
* * *
Hours later--during which Tara had sat in her bed and moped--there was a knock on her bedroom door. For a brief second, she thought it was you. But there would be no reason for her to come back after I got mad at her, she reminded herself, and any hope she had disappeared when Sam walked into the room, a frown on her face.
“I thought Y/N was staying for dinner so you two could study through it,” Sam said, bringing Tara’s attention right back to the fact that you had left. She stepped into the room, her arms crossed over her chest, and asked, “What happened? You’re all”--she gestured at Tara--“sad.”
Tara huffed, glaring at her sister. “Nothing,” she grumbled.
Sam scoffed. “Oh, please. You and Y/N have been attached at the hip since the start of finals.” She shook her head. “Scratch that--since you two began dating. So, what happened, Tara?”
Stupid Sam, being a good older sister. Tara sighed and relented. “She asked about mom.”
“Oh.” Sam frowned. “And what did you say?”
“I--” Was a bad girlfriend and got mad at her for no reason, Tara thought, shame seeping into her veins. “I snapped at her. I didn’t mean to. It’s just…mom’s a tough topic, and it’s even harder because Y/N’s family-life is so perfect.” She clenched her jaw and glanced away, ignoring the spark of jealous lighting in her chest. “She’s got two parents who are there, and they have money, and she’s just…” Perfect.
Sam tilted her head, walking over and sitting beside Tara. “You know, it wasn’t easy for me to tell Danny about mom, either. He’s in the same boat as Y/N--well, not the super rich family part, but his parents are together and there.” She shrugged. “It’s hard not to envy that, but she’s your girlfriend, so you’ll need to talk to her about mom at some point. She deserves to know.”
Tara nodded, hanging her head. “I know. I feel horrible for getting upset with her.” She gestured lamely at her phone. “I tried texting and calling her, but…” She pointed across the room, where your phone still sat on her desk. “Obviously that didn’t work.”
Sam hummed. “I’m sure it’ll be fine, Tara. Maybe she just needed a minute.” She rested her hand on Tara’s shoulder. “Plus, she’ll need her phone.”
“What if she comes back and breaks up with me?” Tara asked, looking up at Sam with wide eyes. What if she never speaks to me again? she thought. What if this is it? What if--
“Every couple has arguments, Tara.” Sam smiled softly at her. “She’s not going to break up with you over this. That girl’s head over heels for you, even more than you are for her. It’s gonna be okay, okay?”
Tara bit the inside of her cheek. “Yeah, okay,” she said, not missing the sorrow in her own voice. “Thanks.”
“Of course.” Sam stood, her hands on her hips and her head tilted. “Now, should we get Chinese food or pizza?”
* * *
Sam was right: you did just need a minute.
It was as Tara was getting ready for bed that she heard a knock on the front door. Sam’ll deal with it, she decided as she climbed beneath her sheets, ready to lay in the darkness and wallow for a while. Just as she was reaching over to turn off her bedside lamp, a certain name caught her attention.
“Oh, hi, Y/N!” Sam said loudly from the living room, and Tara knew she had raised her voice so that she would know who was at the door. She sat up immediately. Y/N is here? What? There was some mumbling before Sam’s voice came again. “Yeah, she’s in her room. Go ahead.”
Moments later, there were soft knocks against her bedroom door, and Tara scrambled out of her bed, rushing across the room to open the door for you. There you stood, your lips pulled in a downturned smile and your eyes wide with worry.
“Hey, pretty girl,” you muttered. You were still wearing the same clothes from the day, and your backpack was still hanging off your shoulders. Did she not go home? she wondered, furrowing her eyebrows. You pulled your arm out from behind you, revealing a small bouquet of flowers. “Got you these.”
Tara blinked. She bought me flowers?!  “I--Thanks?” She took them from your outstretched hand. “What are you doing here?”
“I said I’d see you later, didn’t I?” you tried to joke, but your voice was strained, like you were trying to be careful, and Tara felt guilt prick at her knowing that she was the cause. “Could I come in?”
“Oh, yeah. Of course. Always,” she rushed out, moving to her bed to sit. She placed the flowers on her bedside table and watched as you sat in front of her, fingers playing with her blanket. “So, what’s up?” ‘What’s up?’ Really? That’s the best I can do?
You sighed, a shaky breath falling from your lips. “I want to apologize,” you said. “I didn’t mean to push you into talking about your mom earlier. I know she’s a touchy subject.”
Tara frowned. “Why are you apologizing? I’m sorry for shouting at you. I shouldn’t have done that.”
You shook your head, glancing up and finally making eye-contact with her. “No, it’s okay. You didn’t want to talk about her. And, that’s okay.” You shrugged and offered her a comforting smile. “You don’t have to tell me about her…ever, if you don’t want to.”
“I should, though. I mean, we should talk about her.”
“Tara, you really don’t have to--”
“No, I--I want to.” Want’s a strong word, she thought. But I should.
“Okay,” you said, nodding and giving her your full attention. “You have the floor.”
She sighed heavily. “Well, my dad left when I was 8. My mom started working more so that she could afford Sam and I, but it turned more into an obsession for her, I think. Next thing I knew, she was never there. Sam left home when I was 13, and it was just me.” She shrugged, glancing down and fiddling with her fingers. “Then, Sam came back after I was attacked, and my mom wouldn’t talk to her, so we made the choice to cut her off. I haven’t spoken to her since we moved.”
Tara clicked her tongue, looking back up at you. To her surprise, your face wasn’t full of the pity she was used to seeing after telling people about her past; you were watching her carefully, looking close to tears.
“So, that’s that,” she said awkwardly.
You inhaled sharply, blinking your glassy eyes away. “You didn’t deserve any of that, Tar, and I’m sorry that you had to deal with it.” You reached out, your hand cupping her cheek, and she leaned into your touch. “I’m so happy that you’ve found your family.”
Her heart fluttered at your words, her mind flashing to Sam and Mindy and Chad. “Yeah,” she agreed. “I am, too. I really love those guys.” And I’ve found you, too, she thought. You make it all complete.
You grinned, and she practically melted into her mattress. “Good. They’re good--all of them.”
She giggled. “C’mere.” She wrapped her arms around your shoulders and pulled you to lay down with her, your face nuzzled into her neck. She laughed at the feeling of your nose against her skin, and said, “I love you. Like, a lot.”
Your arms wrapped around her waist, and you squeezed lightly. “I love you, like, a lot, too.” You sighed into her. “And I’m sorry for leaving like that earlier. I just…I don’t do well with raised voices.”
Huh? Suddenly, she was on high alert. Why not? What happened? “Any particular reason?”
You twisted in her hold so that you could lay beside her, your gaze trained on the ceiling. She scooted down so that her head was level with yours and looked at you, tracing your side profile with her eyes. So pretty, she thought. Wait, stay on topic, Tara.
You clenched your jaw. “We’ve never talked about it, but, um, my dad…” You closed your eyes. “When I was younger, my dad had a big drinking problem.” Her eyebrows furrowed. Her dad? That man? Really? “He was never physical,” you said, shaking your head lightly. “But he had a temper when he was drunk, and everything I did was always wrong.”
“Oh, Y/N,” she sighed, intertwining her fingers with yours. Your grip was tight, like she would float away if you didn’t hold on.
“He’d yell a lot, at me, at my mom.” Oh, baby. Your thumb rubbed over the skin of her hand. “But he’s good now. He got better after the boys were born--got sober. He hasn’t had a drink since.” You turned your head, looking back at her.
“He’s not, like, obsessed with apples, or anything,” you said. What does that have to do with the conversation? she wondered. “But, he eats them a lot when we have parties. That was his thing--eat an apple when he wanted a drink. It stuck, so we keep the fridge stocked, and any time someone sees him even look in the direction of alcohol, we get him an apple.” You smiled. “He eats them begrudgingly, but he’ll never have an apple out of his own volition now.”
Tara chuckled softly. “I’m happy he’s better now, but I’m sorry you dealt with that. I’m sure it wasn’t easy.”
You shrugged, leaning closer so that your forehead rested against her cheek. “It’s okay now. I’m alright,” you promised. “Just…never buy that man an apple, alright?” you joked, easing the tension in the air.
“Deal,” she agreed, nudging your head up. She leaned in, kissed you, and said, “I guess no family’s perfect after all, huh?” when she pulled away.
“I guess not.” You grinned, leaning up on your elbow to hover over her. “But, maybe ours could be the first.”
Her heart practically stopped, and she couldn’t help the smile that took over her face. Ours? she thought. She felt like she wanted to burst from the amount of joy that came with that thought. Yeah. Ours.
“Okay.” She pushed herself up and kissed you again. “Ours will be the first.”
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inmyheaddd · 2 months
Text
gold rush - grayson hawthorne x reader
warnings: academic rivals not really to lovers/ friends to lovers, kissing, very fluffy wc: 1.7k masterlist
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grayson hawthorne sat across from you in your biology class in your senior year. you’d known him—or of him—all the way through high school.
you two were practically the two top scorers in everything. 
you two would always cross paths; in class, award ceremonies, extracurriculars, anything academic-related, honestly.
but you two never really spoke though, up until now.
you always sort of hoped you’d be partnered up with him for something: an excuse to talk because you knew neither of you would speak to the other first. 
the opportunity finally arose when your biology teacher put you together for your end of semester project. 
you can’t lie, the first time you met in the library to do work was awkward. 
something about him always intrigued you, so you bit the bullet and tried to start a conversation.
his “strictly work” mode was boring, but once you two got into a flowing conversation, he quickly warmed up, and his eyes looked much more inviting than they did 20 minutes ago.
“sometimes i geniuenly can’t understand what he’s saying with that accent of his, i think we need a scottish translator in the class,” you said with a soft laugh. 
you two had been sitting in the library for around 30 minutes now, with no work done. 
you didn’t have to worry about disturbing anyone by talking, it was just you two in the whole place.
he chuckled at what you said and you felt your stomach do a backflip when you saw dimples flash for a split second. 
he had dimples. god, could he get any cuter? 
“i much preferred our teacher last year, miss hawkins”
a smile found your face, “oh my god, yes, she was the sweetest!” you put a hand on your chest, almost in awe, thinking one of the best teachers you had. 
“she’d always round up my scores and talk about students and teachers with me when i’d finish my work.” you couldn’t help but laugh at the memory of gossiping with your 30-year-old biology teacher at her desk.
“so that's what you two were always doing.” a smile stretched across his face, then he continued, tilting his head to the side slightly and furrowing his brows, “isn’t that… somewhat illegal?” 
“hey, it gave me motivation to finish early. let me live.” 
he shrugged, “i’m not telling.” he made that sound like a challenge.
“so you won’t let any underlying jealousy from me being biology student of the year get in the way?” you teased him right back.
“oh i’m not jealous, believe me.” you raised your eyebrows at that, and he spoke again with a grin. “you just told me half of it was because miss hawkins would round your grades.” 
your mouth fell open. “okay, yeah by like one percent!” you crossed your arms over your chest. “there’s no need to be rude here.” you leaned back in your chair, like you were truly appalled. 
grayson saw right through you, and after 2 seconds of staring at each other in silence with your lips twitching upwards, you two fell into a fit of laughter. 
when you two recovered, he spoke again, “you did deserve it, though. you’d be the only one answering questions in class half the time.” he said, looking in your eyes deeply, reminiscing on times that seemed so far away now. 
“don’t count yourself out, hawthorne. you were like the only person who took that class seriously.” 
“apart from you?” he finished your unsaid thought with a tiny grin on his face.
“yeah,” a smile formed on your face, “apart from me.” 
an hour later, still, with no work done, you were talking about books.
he was a nonfiction and classics reader. and you, well, you were definitely not. 
“okay, why don’t you read little women then? it’s also a classic, but it's not boring.” 
“actually, now that you mention it, i have had my eye on it for a while.” 
he said that so calmly, if only he knew how much his rating just went up in your head.
“well if you want, i could lend it to you, i have an extra copy.” you both knew he was very capable of getting his own copy, but this way, it felt like you were actually building some sort of relationship together.
“that would be nice, thankyou.” he smiled once again, and it was like your face mirrored everything he did.
you glanced down from your notebook to him and, then back to your empty notebook and laptop that was now turned off in realization.
you two hadn’t written a single word down.
he was watching you, and you tilted your head back up. “oh my god, we haven’t done a single thing.” 
it was honestly kind of funny, or maybe, everything seemed to be funny right now with grayson. you had that, airy, light, and giddy feeling. 
you were surprised you weren’t giggling at every word he said like a mad woman. 
he shrugged, humming slightly in disagreement before speaking. “i’ve gotten to know you, that’s more important to me.” 
oh. 
okay. just act normal. be chill about it.
“oh, yeah, it’s nice to get to know you too.” 
you were 99% sure your face was the colour of your red school tie.
he smiled at you, and his dimples you saw flash earlier were on full display now.
“we should get some work done, then?” he suggested, after a beat of silence and ever so slightly awkward eye contact, putting you out of your misery. 
“yeah, we probably should.” you let out a nervous chuckle.
grayson thought he made you uncomfortable with that. he’s actually known you for less than a day; how did he even let that thought slip out? he was never like this.
the next time you met in the same library, you brought your little women copy. you honestly forgot about it because you fell into conversation so quickly, but soon enough it was pinging in the back of your mind, and you told grayson.
“you really didn’t have to, thankyou.” you heard the smile in his voice as you looked through your bag to get the book. “i wanted to,” you replied, as you handed him the book. 
his gaze caught yours with a smile, and then he was flicking through the book. 
‘you annotate?” his eyes sparked with interest, and he was hoping the way he was so totally enamored with you wasn’t so obvious on the outside.
“oh,” how did you forget that you wrote inside of that copy? “yeah, nothing really special, just thoughts or whatever.” 
“that’s good, it’ll be like you’re there reading with me.” 
“yeah,” your cheeks were heating up, and then he looked down at the book in his hand before looking up and asking another question. “would you mind if i wrote in it as well?” 
oh my god. 
“no, no, of course not!” good thing you didn’t sound too eager… 
“i mean, i’d love to see what you think about it.” and if it was possible, he smiled deeper, flashing his dimples that you’ve quickly grown to love. 
once you both handed in your project, he decided to ask you out on a “celebration” date. just two friends hanging out. nothing special!
you arrived at the coffee shop 15 minutes early, only to find grayson already sitting there. 
your heart fluttered as he looked up and caught your eyes. he did a small wave, and smiled at you.
“hey,” you said as you sat down, scooting in your chair closer to the table.
“hi,” he did a once-over on you, and he realized this was the first time he was really seeing you outside of anything school related. “you look lovely,” he spoke his thoughts out loud.
“thank you,” you added, “you don’t look too bad yourself.”
he chuckled, “thank you.” 
you fell into comfortable conversation, and 20 minutes later, you were both done with your drinks. iced coffee for you, black coffee for grayson. the weather was perfect, and he suggested a little walk, you couldn’t think of a better idea. 
a waiter came to your table for the tab, and you reached in your bag. “please, let me,” grayson interjected, and gave you a look that left no room for argument.
you thanked him and smiled, leaning back into your seat as he paid, knowing damn well the only things you brought with you were your phone, gum, and lipgloss. 
as you both stepped outside, the warm sunlight bathed the streets in a golden hue. you and grayson strolled down the sidewalk, making light conversation and sharing stories. you found yourself leaning into his side, subconsciously wanting to be closer to him.
“i have to admit, i’m really enjoying little women,” he said, glancing at you with a smile. “your annotations make it even better.”
“i’m glad you like it, it’s one of my favorites.” you replied, feeling your cheeks warm again.
after a few moments of comfortable silence, grayson turned to you, looking thoughtful. “you know, i’ve really enjoyed getting to know you these past few weeks. i wish we had done this sooner.”
“yeah, me too, i've been having a lot of fun." you said softly, meeting his gaze.
grayson smiled, and his hand brushed against yours. “i’ve been meaning to ask you something,” he began, coming off as hesitant for the first time in his life. “would you like to go out on a proper date sometime?”
you heart skipped a beat, and a smile spread across your face. “i’d love that.”
relief washed over his features, and his dimples were starting to make an appearance again. “are you available this saturday?”
you felt as if your words would fail you with the excitement you felt bubbling up in your stomach, so you simply nodded, mutters a small, “yeah, i am.” with a nod.
grayson was already thinking about all the places he’d take you and what you’d enjoy; he was going to make the most out of it. 
as you continued your walk, he reached for your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours. the simple gesture alone made your heart soar.
“you know,” grayson said with a playful glint in his eye, “i never got to tell you my favorite part of the book.”
“oh?” you asked, slightly curious.
“it’s the little hearts you draw next to your favorite quotes,” he confessed, a hint of a blush on his cheeks. “i think it’s endearing.”
you laughed softly. “i didn’t realize you’d notice that.”
grayson slowed down his walking, coming to a stop and looking at you. “ i notice a lot of things about you.”
you felt your heart drop, like there was a whole zoo in your stomach. you felt yourself lean in, but you barely even registered it. you hesitated, unsure of how to respond, and he gently closed the distance and kissed you, his touch soft and unexpected. it was a brief, sweet kiss that made you feel like you were floating. 
when he pulled away, you both were smiling. 
you’d never get tired of those goddamn dimples.
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olsenmyolsen · 9 months
Text
This Is Me Trying - One - (A Y/N Parker Spider-Woman X Kate Bishop Story)
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masterlist
Summary: The Winter semester is challenging as you fall behind on exams and essays all while an old threat emerges.
Word Count: 3.3K
Content: College stress, cutie Kate Bishop
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You, Y/N Parker, loved Christmas time.
You loved how it changed the city from a smelly concrete jungle into a smelly concrete jungle but with snow!
Lights went up with trees covered in decorations. Lattes got better, and so did the cookies.
The air got colder, and sometimes the people got warmer. Whether it was buying things for strangers or for a lifelong friend. Random acts of kindness increased, but on the flip side, so did the rate of crime.
Plus, swinging in the cold was awful, but with some insulation in the suit, it helped.
All of this to say you still loved this time of the year.
"You know, since you love it so much, how about you let me go? You know, like you said, kindness of strangers and all that!"
You looked at the guy webbed to a pole who just mugged a woman coming home from work and tilted your head.
"You know what you're right. Tis the season!" The man nodded as you took a few steps closer. "However, on second thought!" The man's eyes widened before you webbed his mouth shut.
"Marv, how many times are we gonna do this, buddy?" You patted the man's head as the sirens were approaching.
"Happy Holidays!" You yelled as you swung up to the nearby rooftop, looking for the woman whose purse was in your hand.
As you stay perched on the corner, your phone starts to ring. It was Peter—your best friend and brother. You debated whether to answer it or not, but eventually, you gave in and pressed the side of your mask.
"Hey man, what's up?"
"Not much... I know it's late, but I- I was just wondering if you started on Dr. Ohnn's paper yet? I'm completely lost. H-He knows we're sophomores, right?!"
You chuckled and sighed.
You haven't started on the paper yet.
"Sorry, Pete. I've been busy..." You heard Peter let out a disappointed sigh.
"Y/N... you're out, aren't you?" You felt bad. For the last couple of weeks, Peters has been asking you to take it easy with your after-school duties due to the number of exams these previous few weeks have had and, as mentioned before, the crime rate, but you haven't. If anything, you tacked on more. "Y/N, you know how dangerous I still think this is."
You rolled your eyes. "Yes, Peter, I know, but-" Before you could finish, you saw a person jump from one rooftop to another two blocks down from you. "Hey Pete, I gotta go..."
"Wait Y/N... Y/N!"
The line went dead as you tapped the side of your mask and took off, swinging purse in hand to the stranger on the rooftop.
As you front-flipped from your webbed, you laughed. "Well, if it isn't the purple bird!" You said when you got up from your landing pose, scaring the crap out of the archer. He jumped and drew his bow on you before realizing who it was.
With an exaggerated groan, he withdrew his weapon.
"What do you want, Spider!?" He sounded annoyed. You put your hands over your heart. Purse still in hand. "Ouch! I just wanted to check up on the man who destroyed 30 Rock last year."
Clint Barton rolled his eyes.
"It was a tree and a skating rink. Get over it." You raised your hand and mocked the archer as you stepped onto the roof's ledge.
"Where's the youngster?" You asked switching topics. Clint raised an eyebrow. "What are you spying on me now?" You put your hands up. "As if! Just curious. Making conversation. It's not my fault you two happen to fall into my patrol area."
Clint looked at you. "Your patrol area?" You nodded. "It's called New York. Ever heard of it?" Clint rolled his eyes again. "You can be a pain in the ass sometimes, you know that."
"I've been told."
"By friends?" You laughed. "No by enemies. Wait..? Why did you hear something?"
Clint cracked a smile. "Maybe." He hadn't, but he enjoyed this back-and-forth you two played. Like his protege, it was nice to have someone around who reminded him of the heroes of the past. People that brought hope for the future.
"So is that purse yours or?" Clint looked up from his binoculars at you. "No. It's not my color." When Clint didn't laugh, you continued. "Lady got mugged, and I don't know where to find her."
Clint looked from the purse to you and did it two more times. "What?" You asked when no words were spoken. Clint huffed. "You have her purse. It probably has her ID." You tilted your head before your eyes got wide. "Oh! Her address!"
Clint nodded yes and grumbled about you before looking into his binoculars again.
"Thanks, bird man!" You said as you looked at the address. It wasn't far. "Same time tomorrow?" You asked as you twhiped away.
Clint sent you a thumbs-up even though he wasn't paying attention. But you didn't know that. You saw a thumbs up and smiled.
You were getting through to the old man.
As you twhiped to the woman's place to return her purse, a bright-eyed Kate Bishop saw you.
"It's the Spider!" She very awkwardly whispered to no one else before running to the building; she had no idea you had just left from.
And when she got to the top: "Clint!" She shouted, making the archer jump before realizing who it was. "What!?" He said, looking at her as she smiled with excitement. "The spider! I just saw her!" He nodded like a dad would. "And?" He said. "And! And! And isn't that cool!" Clint shrugged. "I guess. She was here. She actually asked about you." Clint held in a smile.
It was a not-so-secret that Kate had a slight crush/admiration for the web-slinging hero.
"And!?" Kate took the binoculars from Clint and awaited his answer. "And... that was it. Nothing else. She joked around. I rolled my eyes. That was it."
Kate was going to press for my information, but Clint was useless when it came to details so mundane.
"Ugh. Fine. Here." Kate tried to hand the binoculars back, but Clint shook his head. "Look and tell me what you see." Kate looked through them and into the window of a known wheelman. "Tracksuits." She said, making Clint nod.
"See the guy with the awful chops?" Kate shifted her focus to a guy with bad facial hair. "Yeah."
"Look past him on the wall." Kate did just that and smiled. "I thought people only drew on blueprints in the movies?!"
"Our guys must watch a lot of movies," Clint said as he chuckled.
Kate put the binoculars down and looked at Clint. "After last year, do you still think Kingpin and these guys are connected? I mean..." Kate made a gesture that said, "really, these guys??" while pointing in the direction of the Tracksuits.
Clint shrugged. "I think it's best to believe they're connected than to not. Plus.. drugs and money still need to be run for guys like Kingpin. Any disposable person that's easy to pay is like Christmas to these guys."
Kate thought about it and nodded as she looked through the binoculars again. "Remember when we destroyed 30 rock."
Clint groans and closes his eyes. "It was a tree and an ice rink. Not the whole city!"
While Kate was busy trying to figure out what annoyed Clint and what Kingpin was planning next, you were busy climbing into your dorm through the window.
You tore your mask off as your feet landed on the floor. You ran your covered hand through your freshly shortened hair and took a deep breath before frowning. You sniffed the air before lifting your suit close to your nose. "Ah, man.."
The city really got to it tonight.
You tossed your mask into the hamper in your closet as you started wrangling out of your suit. You've been meaning to make adjustments to your suit since your arm muscle has only grown, but you hadn't, which left it a bit tight to get out of sometimes.
Lucky for you, you never had people drop by unannounced, so you could always take your time-
"Y/N is that you- OH MY GOD!"
You turned towards the voice of your brother as the top half of your suit fell, showing off you in your black sports bra and toned abdomen.
"Peter!" You yelled as he threw his hands over his eyes. "I didn't know. I'm sorry!" He shouted as he went to run out the door but hit your wall instead, causing him to fall to the floor, knocked out.
An hour later, as you moved your clothes from the wash to the dryer, Peter woke up. And after scolding him about not knocking, you and him got to work on Dr. Ohnn's paper.
But with your exhausted brain and body. Plus Peter's... mild concussion, you two didn't get far. So, just as you were about to suggest calling it for the night, your roommate came home.
Where she was or who she was with was always a mystery to you.
"Hey, losers!" Michelle-Jones, aka MJ, greeted you and Peter as she ran to grab the TV remote sitting on the table. She clicked it on and found the local news channel. "MJ, what are you-" She held up a finger and shushed your brother. "Look!" She pointed to the screen as a reporter was standing in front of a run-down apartment building that was on fire. "It's the fifth one this month!" MJ stated. "Everything thinks I'm crazy, but I know insurance fraud when I see it."
You and Peter weren't sure how to continue.
"Okay..." You started. "What's your point?" You questioned, hoping your roommate and friend was going somewhere with this. "Obviously, someone is doing something very illegal."
"Okay..." Peter said. "What can we do about it?"
"We can't do anything about it. But someone here can." MJ started motioning her head towards you, making you sigh. "MJ. I've told you multiple times. The pictures were a summer thing. I don't take their pictures anymore!" MJ rolled her eyes. Clearly not believing you. "Whatever you say..." She narrowed her eyes at you. "Spider!"
Before you could argue back, MJ got up and went to the fridge before taking a box of pizza to her room. "I'm gonna crash. Night."
"I brought that pizza..." Peter quietly said as you collapsed onto the couch. "You were gonna give it to her anyways." You turn your head to Peter. "Was not!" He defends, but you see through him. "You've had a crush on her for the last year, so please let's be honest here."
Peter closed his mouth and then said: "You're the one not being honest with her."
"Dude."
"Sorry," Peter mumbled. "It's just she's going to find out on her own if you don't tell her." He whispered. You nodded. "I know. I know. But you and I both know that the fewer people that know, the less I have to worry about. The less people get hurt."
Peter wore a sad smile on his face. "You're right. I.. I just hate lying to her."
You looked at Peter as he brought his knees close to his chest on the other end of the couch. "I'm sorry, Pete." He nodded. He knew it was easier for you to do this if the less people knew about your other life, but he wasn't sure how much longer he could lie to MJ.
The following morning, after Peter returned to his dorm, you woke up late.
Apparently, in your sleepy daze, you hit 730 into your calculator app and not your alarm clock application. On top of that, you forgot to charge your phone, so as you panicked to get ready for the day, you quickly put in the cable to charge.
You grabbed your closest pair of jeans and threw on your school sweater, all while grabbing the textbooks scattered on your desk.
You ran into the kitchen and grabbed your last pair of pop tarts before heading to the door and slipping on your vans. You zipped up your bag and bolted out the door.
However, you immediately reentered your dorm, ran into your room, snatching your glasses and phone, now on 16%.
_
The lecture hall was full by the time you entered. The booming of the door attracted the attention of everyone.
Your brother included. Your eyes found his, and he gave you a weak smile as you sat at the first seat you could find.
When you pulled out your textbook and looked up, you saw Dr. Connors sigh before he continued speaking. "As I was saying. Yes, just because the holidays are upon us doesn't mean we won't have our test on Friday. I want something fun to grade over the break, people." He gave an awkward chuckle that few students, including you, gave back. "Oh, and don't forget. Your papers on physics are still due by the end of the school year. If you've forgotten... well, there's a reason I'm tenured, and this class lasts all year." He smiled and proceeded to dismiss everybody.
Everybody but you.
"Y/N Parker. A moment."
You knew it was coming, but you kept your head up high. You look to Peter, and he nods. He'd see you after class.
"Dr. Connors, look, I'm sorry about being late-"
"Late?" He cut you off. "You missed the whole dang class." You sighed and adjusted the bag around your shoulder. "Look..." Dr. Connors started. "You're a bright student. I've seen it firsthand, but lately... it's like you're not even here. Your grades have been steadily declining. You always appear exhausted."
You nodded. "I'm trying. I wanna be here!"
"Then be here." He said before he sighed. "You still haven't told me what your physics paper is on."
You perked up at that. "I plan on doing it about fusion and Dr. Otto Octavius."
Dr. Connors sighs. "Well, planning is not a major at this university." He walks past you and goes to the giant board in the middle of the room. He then stops. "Octavius is a friend of mine. Better do your research, Parker." You nod. "I'd really hate to see you fail."
"I don't want to, sir." You say, making Connors look at you with a sad smile on his face. "I can pass along your information to Octavius. Whether he contacts you or not is up to him. After that..." He looks at you. "It's up to you, Parker."
When you exited the lecture hall, you found Peter talking to your mutual friend Ned. The closer you got, the more you saw Peter panic and tell Ned to "shut up."
"What's going on?" Peter shook his head as if nothing was wrong. You looked to Ned, who sheepishly looked away. "Ned." You drug his name out.
Ned took one look at you and broke. "I think I might know about the fires around the city!" He smiled and looked excited. It paid to have Ned be the guy in the chair.
You looked at Peter. "You didn't want him to tell me?" Peter sighed. "Y/N, you have so much going on already we don't need you." He gestures with his hand as if he was shooting a web. "Right now. Besides, you haven't even started on your essay, and you just got in trouble with Connors!"
Before you could defend your lack of action, you get interrupted.
"Hey guys!"
Immediately, your stress melted away as you looked down at Kate Bishop. Captain of the Archery Team. Your friend and study partner.
Oh, and your crush.
Katherine Elizabeth Bishop.
"Hey Kate!" You said a little too excitedly, something that everyone caught on to. Thankfully, they chose not to make a big deal out of it. "Hey, Y/N." She looked at you and smiled.
There goes the butterflies.
"So what are you three amigos talking about?" She bounced on her heels as she looked away from you and to the other two. "Oh, nothing!" Peter said. "I don't think you're allowed to say that?" Ned added with a confused face.
"Doesn't sound like nothing," Kate said, making Peter glance at you. "Sounds like Y/N is getting in trouble with Connors." She replied as she turned to you with a teasing smile. "Let me guess..." She made a thinking face. "Too busy studying for our History test?"
History test!! Oh crap, that is Friday!
"Okay, based on the look I just gained, you forgot." You nodded. Kate made a hmm noise but kept her head towards you as she thought.
"Shit," Ned spoke up. "Peter, we gotta go, or we'll be late!" Peter looked at his watch and came to the same conclusion. "Gotta go! See you, Y/N! Bye, Kate!" Peter and Ned took off running down the hall and out the doors before they sprinted across the courtyard.
"What class do they have?" Kate asked.
"Robotics."
"Sounds about right." She said. "We should probably get going." Kate smiled and gestured her head in the general direction of your History class with Kate. "Don't worry about the test," Kate said as you two walked side by side. "You always do just fine." You shrugged her compliment off.
Kate noticed. "But I was thinking if you want..." You looked at Kate and noticed her fingers interlocking with one another. "Maybe you could come to my dorm to study some more. Besides, I still need help on the laws and how they changed once the Sokovian Accords were ratified."
You and Kate had always hung out in mutual gatherings and settings. You two were good friends, but you had never been to her dorm.
On top of that. Alone.
You suddenly felt very warm and wary of your every move.
"That sounds great!" You managed to say. "When were you thinking?"
Kate thought. If it were up to her, you'd come over tonight, but Kate wasn't sure what her roommate Cassie was doing. Plus, she and Clint had a hot new lead to follow up on. "Ummm, is it cool if I text you?"
You nodded. "Sounds great." You smiled widely and pushed the door to your History class open. Letting Kate walk in first. You and Kate walked to your seats and sat beside one another.
"Shit." You heard Kate mumble when she opened her bag. "You okay?" You asked. "Uh yeah.." She bit her lip. A habit you noticed that she only got when she was embarrassed. "What's wrong?" You asked when you tore your eyes away from her chewed-on pink lips.
Kate sighed when her lips parted. "I forgot my textbook. I thought I packed after Clint- Clint-on Clinton and I got back from Archery, but I guess I didn't." Kate didn't look your way.
She was now warm and aware of every move she made.
"Hey, I surprisingly remembered mine." You pulled yours out. "We can share." You moved it in between the two of you. "Really?" She charmingly lifted her eyebrows. "Really." You said.
Kate let out a little cheer and wrapped an arm around you. "You're a lifesaver!"
If only she knew.
Kate didn't remove her arm from around you as quick as she usually would have; instead, you could feel her hand slide up your muscles to your shoulder.
Kate had been noticing your muscle growth as of late but didn't know where it came from...
Eventually, Kate removed her touch from you.
Yet you still felt her.
"It's no big deal." You said about sharing the textbook. But you and Kate both knew that based on your actions recently, you remembering to bring your book or not falling asleep in class was a miracle.
This was Kate's first time forgetting a book, and she could sense Clint's disappointed sigh.
Kate smiled as she watched your fingers turn the corners of the page in the textbook. Her eyes lifted to your fingers, to your sweater, and up to your face. She watched your side profile as you silently read a paragraph to yourself. She only stopped when you looked her way and hid a smile when you pushed up your glasses. "What's up?" You quietly asked.
"Do you want to come to my archery practice tomorrow?" Kate whispered back.
Kate wasn't sure what you had going on in your life. You and her were close but not close, like with Peter, Ned, and MJ. So she never pushed.
Plus, she liked you and didn't want to ruin what you two might have.
But when you said, "Yeah! That sounds awesome!" Like a dork, Kate smiled.
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dividers by @/benkeibear
380 notes · View notes
panda-writes-kpop · 1 month
Text
twin flames ~ yours is bright, mine is smoldering - ng. y.
a/n: apologies for the thirteen day wait between the two fics - within that time, I got obsessed with and then finished one route of Fire Emblem: Three Houses (golden deer house my beloved), got sick and had to call off one day of work, had a family member experience a medical emergency, and then had to prepare for another college semester and an internship as well. I'm... tired to say the least. gonna take a few days to mentally regroup and then I'll get to requests and anon asks, I swear. ❤️ also last pirate! aespa fic wooo!! loved writing these four fics so much 🥹
tw: mentions of alcohol, violence, and weapons, but reader doesn't partakes in anything, reader is bad at their job but it's kind of charming, reader's a jailor but one that's actually doing their job of reforming their prisoners
related fics: Oh Captain, My Captain, Second Chances, your home is the sea, my home is you
summary: ningning, the famed mercenary, is caught by winter's pirate crew after a botched attempt on winter's life. after she's caught, she's your prisoner - and you're nothing like she expects.
♡ Masterlist ♡
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“Bombs away!”
The sound of revelry, fighting, and pirating comes from the upper deck as you sit, alone, in one of the lower deck cabins. You sigh, fidgeting with the key in your hands, as you admire the empty jail cell across from you.
Being the ship’s only jailor could be considered a lonely, miserable job, but you didn’t see it that way. It wasn’t like you weren’t a fan of your fellow crewmates, but combat was not your strong suit; therefore, your Captain, Winter, had found a suitable job for you.
“I need someone to watch any captives that we take.” She explained as she took you to the lower deck, where the holding cell was.
“And you want me to do this? What if I have to physically restrain them, or if they try to escape-”
“-they’ll be disarmed before they get to you, I’ll make sure of it.” Winter reassures you with a hand on your shoulder. “You belong here, just as much as the rest of my crew. I want to make sure that my crewmates are in suitable positions for their talents. If this doesn’t work out for you, then we’ll look at other options.”
You scoff at the memory, as if any of Winter’s other options were any better - scrubbing the decks and scrounging dinner from food scraps weren’t jobs that you were keen to take.
She was right, however, this position suited you, oddly enough. Most of the prisoners, if you could call them that, weren’t particularly violent. They were resigned to their fates, and you often found yourself trading stories with them once they realized you wouldn’t rip their tongue out for looking at you the wrong way.
Cruelty wasn’t your style, anyway. It might be the way of the pirates, or your Captain at times, but it didn’t have to consume you as it did to some of your other crewmates. Sure, Winter course-corrected when they went too far, but those occasions were few and far between.
Somehow, through meaningless chatter, you managed to convince a few prisoners to join your crew - with your Captain’s permission, of course.
“I knew you were made for this,” Winter offers you a proud smile, “and I knew my plan would work. It was never simply about holding them in a cell, after all.”
“I’m not just a jailer to you, am I?”
“Not in the slightest.”
Nothing would prepare you for the woman who would be carried through your door on this night, after the fighting above you had ceased.
~
“Let me… go!” Ningning weakly cries out as a pirate holds both of her arms behind her back.
She struggles against their iron grip, but they don’t even budge as another pirate ties her hands together with a spare piece of rope.
Think, Ningning, you’ve been in worse binds than this. How can I make it out of this in one piece?
“Well, if it isn’t my favorite rogue mercenary!” Winter says with a bit too much cheerfulness in her voice.
“Minjeong.” Ningning growls as she stares at a plank on the main deck.
I will not give her the satisfaction of seeing me beaten and bruised, within her clutches.
“No one calls me that, not anymore.” Winter shakes her head as she approaches Ningning from the captain’s quarters. “How much did your guild pay you for my head?”
Ningning stays quiet as Winter places her hand on the mercenary’s cheek.
“Don’t touch me!” She yells and thrashes around, but it’s no use.
That pirate must be inhuman, to resist someone of my strength and fighting prowess!
When she tires herself out, Winter roughly grabs Ningning’s chin and forces her to look her in the eyes.
“You’ll talk soon enough, believe me.” Winter smirks to herself. “Take her downstairs to see my friend.”
“You won’t get anything out of me!” Ningning yells as she’s carried away. “I’d rather die than give away my secrets!”
“Death is the easy way out, Yizhuo.” Winter chuckles as Ningning shivers at the mention of her name. “What? You’re not the only one who’s done a bit of digging.”
“I will have your head one day, I swear!” Ningning screams before she’s dragged down to the lower deck.
To meet my torturer, of course.
~
You find yourself nearly falling asleep as a loud knock on your door brings you back to the world of the conscious.
“What is it?” You mumble as you rub the sleep out of your eyes.
“We have a prisoner!”
“Fuck.” You grumble as you quickly open and clean the cell in front of you. “You may enter!”
You nervously stand by the door as two of your crewmates enter with a black-haired woman in their grip. Her hands are tied behind her back, but they’re still holding on to her for dear life.
She must be an assassin or a mercenary of some sort. The crafty type, by the look of her.
The woman looks you in the eyes for a moment, trying to read your emotions and intentions in one go.
Good luck with that.
“You…” She mumbles as the two pirates set her in the cell and close the door behind her.
“Yes, me, that’s who you’re stuck with.” You crack a small joke as you lock the cell door from the outside.
“I could kill you.”
“Let’s hope you don’t, huh?” You smile as the key slips into your pocket. “Oh, and don’t try to escape, this cell was built by our genius Captain.”
“Genius?” The mercenary looks astounded. “She’s a liar, a thief, a murderer-”
“-Everyone’s done those first two things once in their lives, and Winter, to my knowledge, has not murdered anyone that hasn’t tried to kill her first.” You feel the need to defend your Captain, as she would fiercely defend her crew without hesitation. 
The mercenary pauses as an argument dies on her lips – she’d be a hypocrite to argue any further, as someone who has done quite a bit of lying, thieving, and murdering.
As the two of you talk, the two pirates quietly exit the room. You find yourself enjoying the comfortable silence as you look back to your dinner. It hadn’t struck your fancy, especially since the ebb and flow of the ocean waves made you a little nauseous, so you decide to extend an olive branch to the imprisoned woman in front of you.
“Here, take this. It’ll be a long night for the both of us.” You hand her the plate along with a wooden fork and knife (one that couldn’t be used as a lockpick, you and Winter had both tried and failed).
She lets out a dry laugh as she grabs the bars of her cell.
“Why would you do this? Why would you offer me food when I just tried to kill your captain?”
You stand, unwavering, with the same brilliant smile as always.
“Everyone deserves kindness.”
~
Everyone deserves kindness.
Ningning was scared of you. When she looked you in the eyes, she didn’t see the hatred, anger, or disdain that most people held for mercenaries like her; instead, she saw empathy and the smallest shred of curiosity in your eyes.
Curiosity about a killer? Seems ironic.
That curiosity is what gets you killed in her line of work. You stick to what you know, and you get the job done.
Well, curiosity wouldn’t hurt her when she was already in prison, so she decided to indulge her curiosities for one night.
One night to stay here and plan my escape.
What intrigued Ningning the most about you was your behavior as a jailer. You weren’t trying to physically torture her with knives or water, as she was used to, nor were you trying to push her to mental collapse with starvation or a lack of proper rest. 
You, instead, were the least intimidating person she had ever met as you peacefully slept on your cot. She could’ve easily, if she had her knife and a hair pin, picked the lock, sliced your throat open, and then went on her merry way.
But you had the smallest bit of trust in her, enough to give her food when you had just met.
What is wrong with you?
She asks herself about you, as well as her own thoughts.
~
You chuckle as you spot the girl peacefully sleeping on the floor of the cell.
I’d offer her my bed if I was more sure that she wouldn’t kill me.
After a quick midnight nap, you had awoken to your hunger and the curious sight of a sleeping mercenary in front of you.
As to not disturb her, you carefully crawl out of your cot so as to not make a noise. Your feet gently brush against the ground before you fully commit and plant both of your feet down.
A small creak rings out in your cabin, but the mercenary shows no sign of waking up soon.
Good. She’ll need her rest if she’s not used to the sea life.
Someone knocks on your door once, pauses, then knocks three more times in succession.
A light smile appears on your face as you recognize the knocking pattern - a secret code for a friend who liked to visit you on occasion.
One knock, a pause, followed by three more knocks meant “Hello, may I come in?”
You respond with two quick knocks, a pause, then three more knocks: “Yes, you may, but I’m busy tonight.”
One knock. 
“You sure?”
You knock back.
“I’m sure as shit.”
You open the door to see Giselle grinning back at you.
“You remembered the code.” 
She looks pleased as you make room for her to enter.
“How could I forget? I helped you make it, after all.”
Giselle carefully observes the sleeping prisoner before softly chuckling.
“Hard to believe that this is the same girl that tried to kill Winter earlier.”
“I don’t think they are the same girl.” You quietly say as Giselle leans in to get a closer look at her.
“You think she’s putting on a mask?”
“It’s a hunch, really. You’d have to, in her kind of business.” You explain as Giselle nods along.
“Well, if anyone can get her to come around, it’s you.” Giselle presents you with a bundle of papers. “Here - it’s Winter’s research on the girl. Turns out that she’s been looking for Ningning for a long while. I just don’t see the merit in recruiting a girl who would happily remove your head from the rest of your body.”
“Winter’s mind works in mysterious ways.” You take the bundle of papers and set them on your cot.
A bit of night reading couldn’t hurt, I guess.
“I’ll drink to that.” Giselle shrugs before looking at the door. “I just finished polishing all of the weapons, and there’s a nice bottle of whiskey waiting for me in the my cabin-”
“-I’m alright, Giselle, but thank you.” You decline her invitation, but she doesn’t look surprised.
“A pirate who doesn’t drink, shoot a gun, or participate in any schemes. They should write a novel to dissect you because I certainly don’t understand you.”
You let out a hearty laugh before Giselle leaves you alone for the night.
“Be careful!” She says before closing the door.
“I will, I promise.”
~
“You’re strange.” Ningning comments as you stare out of the only window in the room. “What kind of pirate doesn’t carry a gun?”
“What kind of mercenary doesn’t know how to escape a jail cell without any help?” A teasing smile plays on your face as Ningning physically recoils.
Ouch.
“Shit, I didn’t mean it like that, I swear!” Your panic causes you to grab the bar cells in front of Ningning. “I’m sorry, I’m not very good at this… jailer thing.”
“I can tell.” Ningning dryly says. “Why does Winter trust you with this job? Did you pay her off?”
You have to repress a snort as you hide your smile with one of your hands, as the other continues to hold onto one of the bar cells.
“There’s no amount of money that could make her change her mind. It’d take divine intervention for that to happen.”
I remember Winter being like that when she was younger.
Ningning softly smiles.
“I remember her being like that in her youth.”
Your mouth hangs agape as you take in her words.
Did they not know? I thought it was in that bundle of papers that appeared two nights ago.
“I thought she told you-” Ningning gestures to the papers behind you, but you shake your head as you close your mouth.
“I didn’t want to read anything about you - I want to hear it directly from your lips.”
Something stirs with Ningning - compassion and camaraderie, perhaps?
You think differently than I do - interesting.
“I still think you’re strange - your behavior and your way of thinking.” Ningning repeats her earlier statement, desperate to get the conversation away from the secrets of her past.
“I suppose I’ll never change your mind, then?” You tilt your head at her.
The rare smile on Ningning’s face only grows bigger.
“Never.”
~
“Come on, up you go.”
It’s been a week since Ningning has been entrusted to your care - a long yet fruitful week of trying to pull any information from the girl in front of you.
You do have that handy bundle of research papers, but even hours of research can’t explain why Ningning chose to be a mercenary, why she chose to attack your captain last week, or why she’s so tight-lipped about any information pertaining to her at all.
Odder still, your Captain won’t tell you a word about her past with Ningning. Any account of their earlier interaction when Ningning was captured would tell you that they seemed to know each other, despite referring to each other as strangers.
What’s going on here? Why won’t either of them tell me the truth?
If there was one thing you could do, despite any limitation, it was getting answers to unsolvable questions. You would get one of them to crack, Ningning or Winter, so you could figure out what was going on between them, or rather, what had happened between them.
A bit of shock therapy is in order, then.
Ningning looks at you in shock as you pull yourself out of your thoughts.
“What do you mean, ‘up you go’?” 
“We’re taking a trip around the ship, so you should prepare yourself.” You play with the keys in your hand for a moment. “Hope you have your sea legs.”
“You think I won’t kill you?” The surprise in her voice is evident as you unlock the door.
“It’s more of a hope, really.” You move out of the way as Ningning gets up from the floor and approaches you.
Her eyes meet yours as the distance between you closes. One of her hands lingers behind her back as she stands mere inches from your chest.
Have I made a mistake? Was I too trusting? Is this my bitter end?
“You’re lucky I like you.” She quietly confesses before pulling a wooden knife from behind her back and handing it to you.
“I…” You pause while looking down at the knife in your hand. “You didn’t?”
“Why would I?” She smiles softly. “You have somewhere to take me, right?”
~
“Winter’s going to fucking kill you.” Giselle emphasizes the potential murder that may happen, as if you weren’t aware of the potential risk of your plan.
“I need answers, and someone has to start talking.” You shrug before grabbing Ningning’s arm with your hand. “C’mon, it’s time that you, the captain, and I had a chat.”
Giselle chuckles as you climb the stairs to the upper deck.
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you about Winter.”
“Don’t say you didn’t warn them about me?” Winter parrots as she stands at the top of the stairs.
“Nope, fuck this.” Giselle quickly gets out of dodge as you haul Ningning up the stairs.
You can’t read the expression on her face but you can tell that she’s hesitant about this.
She’s not used to her secrets being out in the open, out of her control. Can’t blame her though - secrecy is how she keeps her head as a mercenary.
“I can’t say I’m surprised at this.” Winter offers you a weak smile. “I thought you’d connect the dots and come to see me sooner.”
“I respected my captain’s privacy until I had concerns on behalf of my prisoner.” You look over to Ningning, who glares at Winter.
“I’ll talk to you,” She stares down Winter before looking at you, “both of you, in private. Not out here - there’s too many eyes and ears for my liking.”
“Alright, you have my word. I’ll lead the way.” 
~
Winter’s quarters are a bit cozier than you remember - an improvement made by their partner and first mate. A small candle that smells of lavender sits in the middle of Winter’s desk, along with a few maps scattered around the table.
You let go of Ningning’s arm as you sit down on the left of your captain, but her hand quickly finds yours as she takes a seat on your left. You bite your lip before hiding your interconnected hands under the table - you don’t need your captain getting the wrong idea, after all.
She won’t sit next to Winter. The bad blood between them runs deep.
“So…” Winter trails off before grabbing a glass of brandy. “Where do we start?”
“I don’t want to talk to you. I want to tell the truth.” Ningning harshly replies as Winter offers you a glass of brandy.
You shake your head before passing it to Ningning, who happily sips from the cup with her free hand.
She’s cute when she’s not insulting me or my friends.
You allow the thought to quickly pass by your mind - now’s not the time for those types of thoughts.
“You never were one to talk about your feelings.” Winter shrugs before taking a sip from her glass. “Why don’t I go first?”
“Why, so you can try to justify why you left me with those people?”
Your eyes widen as you look between the two girls. Ningning, who looks oddly justified by this reveal, and Winter, who’s trying to gauge your reaction as you’re trying to find hers.
Why is she worried about what I think? Is this about her past?
“Yes, your dear Captain,” Ningning spits out, “was a mercenary. A damn good one, before she up and left me. She stole from them too, and guess who took the blame for that? A person near and dear to her heart that she once called a friend.”
“I-” Winter looks away in shame as you look up to the ceiling.
I feel like I’m intruding on something that should be said in confidence.
“I’m sorry. I can’t imagine what they did to you after I left.” Winter quietly says as she stares into her glass of brandy. “That’s why I left, you know. I couldn’t take the cruelty of it all. Satisfied, Ningning?”
“I should be,” Ningning takes a deep breath, “but I’m not. I imagined this exact conversation happening over and over, and yet-”
“-it wasn’t how you hoped it would go?” You finish her thought as she nods.
“I thought that it’d happen with a knife to her throat,” Ningning continues, “but I never could’ve killed her. Not you, Minjeong. No matter how much I hate you, I can’t find it in my heart to kill you. I had so many opportunities to kill you when I snuck onto this ship, but the only moment I could truly do so was when you turned your back. To watch life leave your eyes… it would’ve been torture.”
“I knew you didn’t want to kill me, and I didn’t want to torture you for your-” Winter pauses in thoughtful contemplation, “our betrayals of each other.”
“So what now?” Ningning asks as she squeezes your hand for comfort.
“We start over, as friends, and this all stays between the three of us.” Winter looks at you. “Has your curiosity been satisfied?”
“Most definitely.” You give her a teasing smile as she nods.
“I figured, but let’s make this all official.” Winter stands and walks over to Ningning.
She offers the mercenary her hand - an olive branch.
“Come join my crew. Start anew. You won’t have to go back to those mercenaries, I promise. We’ll take care of you.”
“You promise?” Ningning lets go of your hand before her hand hovers over Winter’s hand.
“My word’s as good as my gold.” Winter smiles as the other girl shakes her hand.
“I’ll join your crew, but there’s only one thing I ask.”
“Anything, Ningning, name it.”
“They,” Ningning points an accusing finger at you, “have to learn how to fight with weapons.”
~
“Did you really have to sign me up for fighting lessons?” You whine as Ningning settles herself in her new quarters.
“Can’t have someone I care about getting hurt, can I?” She chuckles to herself as you fold your arms in protest.
“First off, I can fight with a knife just fine, and secondly, when did you start caring about me?” You ask half-heartedly, hoping that she won’t joke with you just this once.
“When you started caring for me first.” She shrugs before walking towards you.
“I can’t believe I got you to care about me after you threaten to kill me.” You tease as her eyes meet yours.
“Neither can I,” She says before leaning in to whisper in your ear, “but fate must’ve had something different in mind for both of us.”
With a quick kiss to your cheek, Ningning leaves her room while leaving you in shock.
She… kissed me?
“Wait, that’s not how you did your work as a mercenary, right?” You call down the hallway, which only causes her to loudly laugh. “Answer me, Ningning!”
Although she’s (hopefully) tugging at your heartstrings, you can’t help but want to know more about Ningning. She’s a treasure trove of secrets and stories, waiting to be uncovered.
Maybe, in time, you’ll get around to telling her some of your secrets as well.
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haikyu-mp4 · 4 months
Text
So sweet
word count; 786 – gn!reader
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Not usually favouring sports, you’re in the journalism club to make use of your great eye for design and writing. After watching one of your school’s volleyball team’s official games last season, you took notice of the boring brochures they handed out with the players’ information. You hadn’t yet chosen what to do for your project this semester and decided to lend your talents to making a better representation of the team’s charms and talents. What you didn’t expect to get out of the project was a date.
You received permission from their coach and captain and set up some equipment to take your photos in a room adjacent to the gym during practice. Hopefully, you can encourage them all to pose confidently. In order to not disturb their whole practice, you ask one grade to join you at a time, starting with the first-years and ending with the third-years. Good luck!
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You had an easy job photographing the first-years, especially enjoying how Koganegawa attempted to look tough despite his soft nature. Truly a big friendly giant if you ever saw one, but at least he looked confident.
After the first round went so well, you smiled brightly and welcomed the second-years. “Hi! It’s nice to see you guys.”
Futakuchi smiled and started some light conversation on behalf of their group. He also took responsibility for going first. You laughed throughout the process, enjoying his funny comments and poses. Then came Aone, and you expected nothing less. However, he didn’t seem like much of a talker. You still smiled, encouraging him to show off as the most important part of the iron wall. After a few shots, you put down the camera, thinking for a second before looking at him again.
“Aone, you look very… sweet,” you said. If anything was sweet, it was the smile on your face. Sweet? You think he looks sweet? “Can you try a tougher look?”
Aone was flustered, mouth a little open in surprise. Truth is, he had seen you around before and found you so pretty that his face might have looked a little softer than usual now that you were staring at him through the lens. He still could never have expected you to think he looked too sweet, not after the years he spent sitting alone on the train because people thought he looked too scary. Futakuchi couldn’t help but laugh a little and was about to answer for Aone when he spoke up himself. “Sorry. I will try.”
You smiled, happy that he cooperated as you lifted your camera again. Aone wasn’t sure how to adjust, but he really wanted to impress you so he tightened some muscles and tried not to think about how much he wanted to hug or something, hoping it would make you happy with the results. You took a few more pictures and then gave him a thumbs up along with a bright smile. “That’s great! Thank you,” you said, sounding excited. This project will be so cool!
Aone walked over to you and bowed a little, which is what he often did for people he wanted to befriend. However, you thought he might be leaning down to see the photos, so you smiled even wider and took a step closer to him, holding up the camera so he could see the screen. His ears were red as he played along, trying to look more at the pictures than your face. He nodded approvingly, at a loss for words as he stepped to the side and gestured for the next player to step up.
You moved on and happily finished the photoshoot for the second-years, but Aone looked like he hesitated to leave. “Anything I could help you with?” you asked, tilting your head in a way that made the guy’s head spin. Futakuchi looked over his shoulder and slowed down a little so he could eavesdrop.
“You are very beautiful,” Aone said with his hands gathered behind his back. Now you were the flustered one, blinking at him before looking shyly down at your shoes and then back up when he suddenly bowed again. He was about to turn around and go.
“Wait!” you stopped him, resting a hand on his upper arm for a second before pulling away when he turned around, hoping you weren’t about to embarrass yourself. “Maybe we could go for a coffee one day?”
“Yes,” he agreed, seeming to consider his words before he continued. “Futakuchi also told me you need someone to help with the information on the players. I will do that.”
The two of you ended up exchanging numbers and leaving the scene with matching red cheeks, a date plan and butterflies.
the Flyer Series ║ masterlist
/taglist: @cottonlemonade @dira333 @cosmiicdust @nagi-core
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miyamiwu · 2 months
Text
Last updated: Aug. 8, 09:30pm GMT+8
I first posted about this 2 days ago, but only now did I have the time to sort out how much I exactly need and… it’s a lot
Dorm rent: 1,624 PHP (~29 USD)
Laptop credit bill: 4,000 PHP (~70 USD)
Consultation fee on different psychiatrist: P1,500 (26 USD) 3,000 PHP (~52 USD)
College tuition: 5,000-7,500 PHP (86-130 USD)
Passport: 1,200 PHP (~21 USD)
Total: 13,000-16,000 PHP (225-280 USD) 14,824 - 17,324 PHP (258 - 300 USD)
But the college tuition one is just a rough estimate! Enrollment is still ongoing, so I don’t know yet exactly how much I have to pay for.
If you have any spare cash, please consider helping me out by donating to my Ko-fi:
Or, you can also avail of my alpha reading service on my Ko-fi commissions page. It’s only $5 right now!
Breakdown and explanation of the amounts under the cut
In the post linked above, I mentioned struggling on the June-July dorm payment, but that’s okay now. My mom was able to find a way, but now I have another problem and that’s the August payment and the December deposit. It will be the start of a new semester, and as always, I have to pay for the first month and the last month of the semester upfront. That would be P1,624 (~$29).
I really don’t want to also ask my mom for this, as my youngest sibling just told us in the sibling group chat that she’s been having suicidal thoughts (everyone in this family has mental health issues 😔). And apparently, she also just had an argument with her boyfriend (I didn’t even know she had a boyfriend…)
With that, I will also need P4,000 (~$70), to pay for my laptop’s monthly dues. My mom bought it on credit and she has to pay for it monthly… but seeing as how she’s already depressed over her multitude of debts, I really couldn’t bring myself to burden her with this as well.
Then yesterday, I started my sessions with a new therapist, and she’s telling me to get a second opinion on ADHD.
Remember how a few months back I went to see a psychiatrist? Well, that doctor turned out to be a traumatic experience. She gaslighted me, then denied me having ADHD on the basis of my mom saying that I was a “quiet child who kept to herself.”
Current therapist asked me if I have been considered for ADHD/OCD before, and when I brought up the previous diagnosis, she was unconvinced coz she thinks I may have the inattentive type of ADHD. Now, she’s referring me to a psychiatrist she knows that specializes in my case, but the consultation won’t be free.
Update: I initially thought she’d refer me to someone from the Philippine Mental Health Association (PMHA), where the consultation fee is only P1,500 ($26) since that’s what she mentioned during our session and the PMHA is also on our uni’s list of recommended mental health services. But earlier, she emailed me the three doctors she recommends, and all of them turned out to be from private hospitals/clinics with fees of around P3,000 (~$52) per session… which is twice the amount charged by the PMHA
Next, my college tuition.
I go to a state university, and in my country, tuition should be free for up to 5 years in my course. But due to mental health issues, I’ve had to retake several classes because I could never complete them on time. I also took a leave twice so uhh… I’ve used up my free tuition rights and now have to pay.
I don’t know the exact amount yet, as we are charged by the number of units we are enrolled for… and well, enrollment is still ongoing, and I’m not guaranteed any units as slots are extremely limited. But going from previous receipts, it should be around P25,000 (~S434).
I’m not gonna ask for help on that full amount, though! Because, god, it really is too much. I plan to apply for tuition loan in my uni, and apparently I can get up to 70-80% discount once approved, so after deduction, I’ll only have to pay P5,000-7,500 ($86-130)
Lastly, the passport. I really need to apply for a passport already. I posted about my valid ID woes a while back, but I really can’t find the post again, but long story short, I don’t have a single, valid government ID at the moment, and it’s hindering my access to a lot of services.
I used to have a postal ID, but it expired last year and I can’t renew it because postal ID issuance has been suspended throughout the country for maintenance.
I also applied for a national ID last year, but until now I still haven’t received it. That’s just how fucking inefficient my country is.
The one ID left that’s easy to apply for without a pre-existing valid ID is the passport, so yeah, I really have no choice but to apply for it now. The regular passport fee is 950 PHP, but I listed the price for the expedited one because I need it urgently. That would be P1,200 (~$21).
I need a valid ID to open an account at this one bank that my uni requires for all those aspiring to be student assistants. And in the case my uni scholarship application gets approved, I will also need the account to receive any stipend I may get as they only do it via that bank.
I will also be needing the account to encash stipend cheques I get from a government-funded scholarship (they still haven’t given me my stipend for the previous semester, though). The bank teller has already been lenient with me three times in the past by allowing me to use an expired ID along with my student ID, the latter which they don’t even accept. I really can’t bear to do it again.
Aside these, I will definitely be needing a valid ID and a bank account should I get accepted in any of the jobs I’m applying for… so yeah, I really need the ID 😭
No pressure at all, but if you have a little extra cash, I would be eternally grateful if you donate
USD to PHP conversion is high, so a little goes a long way for me
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