#and i think..... he got diagnosed bc they wanted a reason for why he was '''''''stupid'''''''

[8rujaa]

my therapist really saved me….

[kevin-sedai]

The vibe really deteriorated as the day went on, and now I'm sitting in bed, awake, feeling like garbage

[florida3exclamationpoints]

Becoming an adult is realizing how many family members have undiagnosed adhd

[sunflower-lilac42]

✧ 𝐅𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐬 || 𝘷𝘪𝘰𝘭𝘦𝘵'𝘴 𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘭 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘵𝘩 ♔

violet's mental health journey

note: let me know if i should make one with connor and how he handles/helps her mental health

!*! trigger warnings ~ sh, depression, anxiety !*!

➺ no one really noticed her struggles at first

➺ her teacher was the one to notify her parents which was confusing for them because they never noticed anything

➺ when they were notified they ended up talking to her and violet broke down

➺ she begged for them not to tell her brothers yet

➺ she was diagnosed with anxiety and depression when she was 11

➺ they didn't tell luca and adam until the following year

➺ she did try to, you know, when she was 12

➺ that was the reason they told adam and luca bc they didn't really know how to explain to them why she was going to the hospital

➺ they also wanted them to know just in case she started showing signs again so they could help

➺ luca and adam became more protective after that

➺ they started being wary of every friend she made or if she ever got a boyfriend

➺ she started going to therapy and it really helped

➺ they came to the conclusion that it was because she always felt like she was in adam and luca's shadow and she felt like she was stuck there

➺ thats why she started making youtube videos and found her own place and thing that she was good at

➺ her stress grew because she threw herself into all these things to try and distract her from that memory

➺ she never told anyone but her therapist about those feelings as she didn't want them to be hurt by them

➺ she hates talking about her feelings because she thinks every time she does people pitty her

➺ no one but her family and close friends (mark and luke and the rest of the hughes family) know about it

𝑻𝑨𝑮𝑳𝑰𝑺𝑻 ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

if your name is crossed out it means i couldn't tag you

@ivy-34 | @itsnotgray | @daisysnhl | @love4ldr

[mbappeward]

arguing with your boyfriend while you're on your period - kylian mbappe imagine

umm hi... ig im back?? the past months were a rollercoaster for me, i graduated high school and im now in uni studying biomedical sciences which is kinda hard but yeah at least its fun. however the main reason i couldnt post was bcs i was focusing on my mental and phsyical state, i got diagnosed with different anxiety disorders and its been really hard for me. but writing distracts me and brings me peace, so ig i should write more loll. anyways enjoyy :)

on and on with your boyfriend, it had been five minutes with the both of you just yelling back and forth. Actually, you were the one doing most of the yelling, he just sat there annoying every part of you.

"kylian just because you don't want to talk about it does not mean you get to walk out of the room." You yelled. The both of you were talking casually until he said something along the lines of going out with his friends tomorrow, and all you replied with was how he wasn't spending much time with you lately, and how lonely you felt. What did he do? Walk out the door. "I don't want to argue right now, i'm sick of it. I'm leaving." He spat out, letting a mocking sigh of frustration as he walked out the door. The fact that he walked away without letting you talk about your feelings angered you, so you followed him out.

"listen to me, you're making a big deal right now. nothing happened. I don't get why your yelling, you know everytime you accuse me of something it turns into an argument, and I'm honestly just not in the mood right now." He mumbled while looking at his phone. His response was so hurtful towards you, thinking back to all the times you were there for him and would listen to him.

"You think I'm being overdramatic?" You asked, your calm just as irritatingly calm as his. He nodded his head, face still looking towards his phone, his eyes were never on you, and you just wanted some respect.

You felt the pain in your abdomen worsen as you yelled through the pain. "Y-your not even looking at me. Why is it so hard for you to listen to me??" You scream out, a small lump forming on your throat. He threw his phone next to him, stood up and looked up at you for a quick second before looking away. He then turned back to you. 

"Y/n, I'm not trying to hurt you, I was only trying to avoid an argument." He whispered. "I wasn't trying to argue, I was trying to speak my side. I just wanted to tell you how I feel so empty without you here. You're most of the time at training and by the time you get back you're so tired to spend time with me. These free days are when we can actually spend time together." You mumbled. He gave you a look before looking up.

"But what about me? I never have breaks so when would I ever go out with my friends and do something I enjoy?" He spoke. His words felt like a stab to your heart.

"Do something you actually enjoy? Fuck off Kylian, you could have just broken up with me if being with me is something you don't actually enjoy. You know what? Do whatever the hell you want, I'm gonna be the one to leave now." You spat, walking out the door. 

The moment you walked outside, a rush of cold wind hit your face, your body automatically starting to shiver. You blamed yourself for not bringing a jacket, but just thought of going back soon. You found an empty bus stop to sit at, and decided it would be a good place to think about something to distract you, but that's when the pain started getting worse. Your hands grabbed onto your lower stomach and you squeezed your eyes shut, hoping it would make the pain subside. All you wanted to do was to be in your boyfriends embrace, for him to cuddle you, kiss you, cook for you, take care of you, and just love you. But right now, from his words, it seems like he didn't enjoy being with you, which one made you feel worse.

It got to the point where you didn't know if you were crying over kylian or the pain, but you decided it was both. You were never good with cramps, and you were extremely sensitive. Kylian was always aware, but this time it seemed to slip his mind that you needed him.

He was at home, thinking back at everything to see where he had made a mistake, his hands were fisted up as his heart began to ache out of fear. The moment he laid his eyes on the jacket he knew you were outside freezing. It was extremely late and it was freezing outside, and you didn't even take a jacket with you. Forgetting about the argument, he rapidly stood up, deciding to look for you. As he was taking his jacket out the coat rack, he noticed the chocolate wrappers littered in the counter and the painkillers you used for your period left there. It was then when he realized, you were on your period. You did not like sweet things, and if you were eating this much chocolate, it could only be one

reason.

"Fuck." He mumbled, grabbing the car keys and running out the door. His footsteps echoed around the streets as he got to the car. He hoped that you were okay. As he looked around while driving, you were nowhere to be found, and he only started panicking. He took out his phone, hands barely being able to hold the phone from how much he was panicking.

Finally, after getting a hold of himself, he pressed on your contact, praying that you would pick up, but to his luck, it went straight to voicemail. If anything happened to you, he would not be able to forgive himself. He cursed under his breath, his vision becoming blurry as he thought about the worst case scenarios. He should have never been so hard on you when you were only trying to spend time with him. Guilt filled his body as the only thing he wanted was for you to be in his arms.

He kept looking around the neighborhood and that's when he found a figure sitting in an empty bus-stop. His heart almost beat out of his chest as he found you. After making sure it was you, he parked the car nearby and sprinted, glad to see that you were okay.

"You idiot." He mumbled as his voice wavered. It was laced with fear. "If you're just here to insult me then you can leave." You mumbled, looking away. Kylian immediately took off his jacket, wrapping it around your form as he gently held your face, bringing it close to his so that he could kiss you. You flinched from how warm his lips felt against yours, but slowly melting into him. No matter how upset at him you were, you were always his, and you could never resist him. As you were kissing, you began to feel droplets of what you thought was rain falling on you. Breaking away from the kiss, you saw the first snowfall. You've heard of couples kissing on the first snowfall, but never about it snowing as you were kissing.

Kylian pulled you into a hug, as you shivered and hugged him back. The cramps started getting worse and worse by the moment, and before you knew it, you started crying again. Taken aback, Kylian stared at you with fear, examining you to see what was wrong. You held onto him tightly, telling him your stomach was hurting, another pang of guilt hitting him for not taking good care of you. "Aw my baby...I'm so sorry, it'll be okay, I promise. Come let me carry you and get to the car." He kissed your head. You were too in pain to reject him, so you let him carry you to the car. You felt calm and though the pain was still there, it wasn't as bad as it was before. He put you in the front seat next to him and adjusted the seat so you were laying down instead of sitting. The cramps were getting worse. He hated seeing you in pain. He covered you with a blanket he had stored in the back seats. You were still sniffing here and there as your mood swings and cramps were getting the best of you, and that you really felt uncared for through his words, though he probably didn't even mean it. During the car ride home he put on calm music. After you got home, Kylian carried you carefully bridal style. He opened the door and softly laid you down on the couch and you looked up with half lidded eyes. You had almost fallen asleep on the ride back. The lights started to wake you up as you whined, wanting to go back to sleep. You wanted to make everything okay again.

Kylian was about to head to the bedroom to go get something until you held his hand. "D-did you mean it? When you said you wanted to do something you actually enjoy and that was to go out? Am I too boring?" You mumbled. He sighed before sitting right by you. He leaned down towards you as he placed a kiss on your forehead, and then your nose, and then your lips.

"N-no. I didn't mean it. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have walked away when you were talking to me like that. I should have listened to what you were going to say. I'm sorry I didn't take care of you, I'm sorry you had to go through this because I'd me. I do love you, so much.

And I promise we'll solve our conflicts together. Okay? we'll talk the rest out tomorrow, rest and sleep now okay?"

You nodded, trusting his words. He was never one to disrespect you and you know he wouldn't say anything like that and mean it. You decided you'd just talk to him tomorrow and that you'd go to bed for now. He made you mean to eat and put a heat pack on your stomach as he peppered your face with kisses and rubbed your belly so that you could go to sleep. You cuddled against his chest as he hummed a tune that you could sleep too. He cooed at your sleeping figure. He pressed a last kiss against your head after passing out right next to you.

[therainingkiwi]

overall PJO TV show impressions

TL; DR: not a perfect show, but overall that doesn't matter bc they get the important parts right.

Finished watching the PJO show episodes 1 and 2 and I have SO MANY thoughts. General impression is that although there were a handful of wonky moments (mostly related to pacing and editing); overall those didn't bother me because the HEART of the original books is there and that's what really mattered to me most.

I originally loved these books not for the Greek Mythology (although that is what got me initially interested), but for the emotional storyline. Percy Jackson is, at its heart, a book about a bullied kid finding a home, finding confidence, learning that even after all these years, he is GOOD at something. He is WORTH something.

There are tons of things to nitpick about the series. Pacing is weird, and Grover rushing into the conversation about the quest felt almost deus ex machina… but at the end of the day, the reason I adore this adaptation is because it cuts to the heart of what Percy Jackson IS.

It's about kids who have never belonged. It's about the outcasts, the weirdos, the people who have been told by society that they're incompetent and worthless and disruptive and "special." I could also write a whole essay on the show's use of the word "special." Let me tell you, as an early-diagnosed ADHD'er, there are few words as patronizing, as shameful, as painful, as that. "Special" education, my ass. If no one ever calls me that word ever again, it'll be too soon.

The movies were about some children of the gods that went on adventures and had sword fights. There were cool superpowers and monsters and fun action scenes. But the heart? The emotional center? That was gone. It was turned into a fetch quest story with little to no emotional depth.

And, look, pure-action isn't BAD. Sometimes it's fun to watch people battle cool monsters with cool powers. But that's not why Percy Jackson became an international bestseller. It captured the hearts of children everywhere who felt out of place in the world and wanted to belong.

And THAT's what this series gets. I don't care about the missteps that much. The cuts to black, as if this were airing with commercial breaks? Honestly, didn't like it. The fight with Dodds was anticlimactic, we didn't spend NEARLY enough time at camp, and I think the omission of percy and luke's first sword fight was really a mistake. But at the end of the day, it's still about a bullied disabled kid who not only finds a place to belong, but fights to make that place better for those who come after him. It's about a kid who goes from thinking he's broken, to knowing that he's not. It's about a kid who was abandoned by his dad, and decided that he wasn't going to let that happen to anyone else. It's got the emotion and the heart, and for that alone, it's a resounding success in my book.

[kiribread]

Headcannon time?! >:)))

so uh since it's been a while since I've actually drawn edgeshot I thought I would do some general headcannons on him! I did a similar post to this when I had JUST started posting and may've done another one like it so if any of these sound familiar that's why.

Some slight manga spoilers ahead

I'm pretty sure it's obvious that's he's on the introvert side of things but I also feel like he's a huge people pleaser by nature.

Before he gave me a daddy issues now he just gives me general parent issues and undiagnosed autism

Emotionally absent mom perhaps?

He could be in a room for like 5 minuets with someone and can pretty accurately diagnose them with whatever mental/physical problem they have and encourage them to get treatment for it but he's one of those guys that refuses to get treated himself

Workaholic

a mom/therapist friend tm

I feel like he got really good grades in school (mainly for the academic validation) and even went to college

He went to college for some sort of medical training probably something like paramedics or ER doctor

While in high school him interning under Recovery girl gives me life <3333

During his 3rd year I could see him taking over for Recovery girl on occasion so she could have a well deserved break

Also, I don't know why but for some reason he gives me oopsy single dad vibes? Like a random baby that he knew nothing about showing up on his door step like" 🧍‍♂️ ok."

He loves that lil girl to death in back though <33333

He always knew he wanted kids in the future so he was pretty happy despite him thinking it was too early for him to be a dad (I'm thinking he was about 19-21 when this happened.)

He does feel pretty guilty often since he can't spend as much time with her as he would like to due to work (this didn't mix well with being a workaholic)

The decision to become a hero was a last second decision on his part he originally wanted to be a full time doctor

What could've changed his mind could be that he either was or he saved someone and inspired him to at least give it a try

I also think he could've considered therapy as a possible option as well

while he was genuinely impressed with Kamui woods during that raid with it being one of the main reasons for the team up one of the other main reasons was that he was a little lonely and thought he be a cool friend <3333. The only reason anyone knows that is bc he got hit by some confession quirk on duty... Kamui cried.

Him and mt lady i feel like sass eachother a lot.

Also probably help straighten her out a bit more.

Was perfectly ok with leaving the media up to mt lady. (Neither him or kamui were particularly fond of doing so.)

Definitely a good cook

I could just be biased bc i like salmon but i feel like he makes some GOOD salmon dishes.

Also definitely eats very healthy.

Won't pass up a good pizza though.

Before I thought that he'd be a huge naruto fan but now I think it'd be hilarious if everyone assumes he is but in reality he never seen a single episode.

He was thinking of watching it but got spoiled on pretty much the entire plot so he decided against it.

He met jeanist when jeanist noticed Edgeshot patching up his jacket during lunch time.

It was jeanist's idea to start the textiles club and Edgeshot was just dragged right along with it.

Many shenanigans happen there.

Edgeshot overall is pretty artsy and likes to try a bit of everything.

He particular likes pen & ink, ceramics, and digital art.

Also enjoys trying other hobbies out like gardening and hiking.

Participated in gymnastics till he got to ua were he used it to train.

Was really good at it but didn't care for the competition part of it.

used to be super cuddly as a kid but has moved away from that and is now picky of who touches him.

People he is close to he does allow them to snuggle up with him.

Likes flattening himself like a blanket and cuddling with people then.

[semperreformanda]

life update

last june my boss let me go for “not being a good fit”

it didn’t take me long to put two and two together and realize that the big reason was because of my pregnancy. and the biggest support to this theory was he talked negatively about a coworker (who was in the company for 6+ years) who got pregnant, saying stuff like “I don’t want her back … I already know how it goes when employees get pregnant, they’ll start calling out … I don’t want to deal with that” he would say all that stuff to me and others behind her back so I knew I was only gonna stick around to save some $$$ and use the insurance as much as I could

(oh and she was forced to resign bc they literally did not want her there anymore 🙃)

but when it finally happened it drove me in anxiety and anger because I had relied on the insurance especially bc I AM PREGNANT

yes it is illegal yes I should have reported it but I had no energy to do anything

but God reminded me through it all that He provides and He does! and so silly of me to think He could provide for my greatest need (my salvation through Christ) but not provide for our little earthly needs

another reason I was annoyed was I was already planning to quit but they beat me to it 😂 but that was honestly the worst company I’ve ever worked for. I could not deal with the constant disrespect and the yelling and the cussing and their questionable ethics

they stole an engineer’s professional seal and stamp it on their projects WITHOUT HIS APPROVAL meaning all projects are “approved” 🥴 this was the last straw for me bc imagine all the hazards

anyways… that was almost 3 months ago and I honestly feel so relieved to not be working there anymore. I spent too many times feeling so incredibly stressed out and then even more stressed out that I may be hurting the baby from it

speaking of… I am already 27 weeks pregnant today 😭 I remember when I first saw that faint line and thought I was hallucinating things. we tried for months only with a stark white test every month, so seeing a shadow of a line sent chills down my spine. and 27 weeks later my little bubba has gotten so big and active 😭 I love him so much

like it’s so crazy how he’s so close to me but also so far it’s like a long distance relationship 🥴💀

also learned a lot about gestational diabetes bc my hypochondriac brain was convinced I HAD IT

apparently it’s not due to your diet and you can’t even cause it. shocking how this is not widespread knowledge, because so many moms feel guilty for failing their baby when they’re diagnosed but in reality it is mostly your placenta being a jerk 😭

so for the past few days when I got the call that I failed my 1 hour I acted like I had gestational diabetes 😭 became very picky with what I ate, which is hard bc my culture loves rice 😭 and I took 10 min walks after meals

all I could think about was my blood sugars spiking and how I needed to bring it down 💀

also I had to fast for at least 8 hours before I could do my 3 hour glucose test which was honestly so hard bc if you’ve been pregnant you know the pregnancy hunger pangs!!! I cried after my test because I was anxious about having GD and also I felt so bad for my baby 😭😭 like I starved him 😂 even though I know he’s fine in there because placenta n all dat

anyways I just wanted to let you guys in on that bc why not and also I’m bored and drinking chai while my husband works besides me 🙂🤠

[ghostdoctor]

midoriya analysis because im fucking insane and hes insane

Midoriya analysis because I'm fucking insane and he's insane

Ps i won't be covering the movies bc I like to leave them as their own entities 

pps this contains spoilers

god okay so we all know that Midoriya has SOME kinda issue because... yk.... he was literally bullied and abused by his peers physically, emotionally, and mentally for all of his formative years and that's gonna FUCK SOMEONE UPPPP

but but but Midoriya so so obvi has a thing for escapism!!!! yeah, his quirk thing started before he was diagnosed as quirkless and then abused, but did you see how intense it got after he was abused??? how that was literally all he spent his time doing and how it was the only thing he was known for?? AND THEN. HE MEETS HIS IDOL WHO CRUSHES HIS LAST HOPE. and then said idol proceeds to try and build up an already destroyed boy (it doesn't work) because THEN we see even more escapism in UA because they make it so clear Midoriya spends so much time training and pushing himself to be a better hero because it's the only way he knows how to be useful and escape away from his reality of believing that's he's really not worth all that he's been given. Btw pls dont say that “midoriya is just ideally heroic he doesn't have a hero complex” this is an analysis for my opinion ty 

Midoriya can be viewed as a narcissist for many reasons as well but that is because he's a product of his environment. Honestly there's ways to show midoriya has a hero complex, is a narcissist, has self esteem issues, has a superiority complex, and more. Im slapping midoriya and going “This bad boy can fit sooo many issues it him” 

Another btw before you continue reading: I have really bad adhd and halfway through this forgot what I was writing about so my points get super blurry but I just wanted to state it here. I believe midoriya has severe self esteem issues and a hero complex. I can explain why concisely if anyone asks! 

Going by arcs now because I need some order to follow and regretfully can't just throw my thoughts about Midoriya at a wall and hope they stick (I will happily just spout nonsense at anyone who wants to listen): 

Pre ua-

Most of this I already covered in the above paragraph but I still wanna break down why Midoriya's childhood set him up for a hero complex and a love of escapism. As mentioned before, Midoriya has always had a love for analysis and heroes but it got much more intense after he experienced large bouts of trauma. You can see him isolating himself and getting completely absorbed into his analysis in multiple parts of the pre-UA sections of bnha. His hero complex stems from the fact that there genuinely was no one to save Midoriya. Because he knows what it's like to be alone without help, he takes it upon himself to save people (he basically says this himself too like my god this boy's hero complex is so so clear). Not to mention the fact that his abuser has been called a hero throughout his formative years. like….god….

All might training- 

And THEN all might destroys his dream by telling him he can't be a hero then LEAVES. Midoriya has not had a single good personal hero at this point. Like even his own mother doesn’t save him from this blatantly obvious abuse. So midoriya is just like. Left there to evaluate everything being broken in his life when he falls back on his escapism aka he walks to the scene of a hero feet because “[his] feet carried him [there]” ARE YOU KIDDING ME. he is literally doing something that brings him joy on autopilot. As a response to being told he can't do his life long goal by his idol. Following that he sees bakugou in pain and trouble and this is like right when the hero complex forms. The entire ‘feet moved before you can think’ IS NOT A GOOD THING!!!! He has NO self-preservation in this moment. AND THE ALL MIGHT PRAISES HIM FOR IT. literally cementing his hero complex as a ‘positive’ thing and not at all the self destructive thing it actually is. 

Following this all might tells midoriya he has to be the next symbol and that he has to be the one to make everyone feel safe. That is NOT a healthy mindset for a child to be in. Here Midoriya is told that he needs to protect everyone and this is where he starts to feel the need to be the one to fix everything, this is where he feels that everything is his fault. 

Usj-

Bro just got put into a hugely traumatic situation and did you see how he literally like blacked out when he went to protect Tsuyu? I’d also like to point out that at this point he's been told by all might that his lack of self preservation is a heroic quality. PLus plus plus being put into a situation like this would hurt your brain function so immensely, the adrenaline rush he must be having at this moment. 

Sports festival- 

Todoroki. Just the entirety of the todoroki thing. Someones gonna go “he was just doing the heroic thing, that makes him hero quality!!” BUT!!! I GUARENTEEEE MIdoriya saw some of himself in Todoroki then. Like, todorokis situation is ‘boy whos in bad situation with no one coming to save him because no one would believe him/step up against the number ½ hero’ and midoriya's situation as a kid was ‘boy whos in a bad situation and no one is coming to save him because no one would believe him and no one wants to help the quirkless kid’. So midoriya obviously took it upon himself to be the one to save todoroki and at this point he's had all mights words drained into him so he probably has taken it upon himself to save everyone in similar situations.

Hero killer- 

Speaking of people in similar situations: Iida! Sooo you're probably going “ghost. Iidas situation is NOTHING like midoriyas” and to that i say LET ME EXPLAINNNN because at this point iida has seen so many people be killed by stain that he more than likely believes no one can stop him but iida himself. This situation is ‘things are happening and no one is actively trying to stop it in the way I should, no one is coming to save this situation.’ so iida takes it upon himself and Midoriya sees this and recognizes it because of his own situation. 

Final exams- 

Bakugou. I have thoughts about this arc. Midoriya has no self preservation here at all. I could quite honestly say I believe midoriya is in some way suicidal. There is no ounce of non hero complex actions here. Midoriya takes it upon himself to save bakugou from failing the entire final exam even if bakugou doesn’t want that. And the their fight afterwards??? Where midoriya is like “youre all I look up to [bakugou]” (side note i hate calling him kacchan)???? WHERE IS YOUR SELF RESPECT MIDORIYA!!! BAKUGOU BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU VERBALLY AND PHYSICALLY FOR YEARS!!!!!! 

Hassaikai and Paranormal liberation-- 

Combining these because during both arcs midoriya shows absolutely ZEROOO self esteem and self preservation. These two arcs are combined because therye basically him on the brink of absolutely losing his shit and fully leaning into the hero complex.

Dark hero (so important r you kidding)-

R you serious rn..this is literally him going ‘no one else is fixing it so I WILL. in a dangerous way this IS the hero complex arc 

But it's also the most self centered arc midoriya has had. His entire childhood has taught him to rely on himself and only himself so it's a given that he would only think about himself when anything happens that he needs to take care of as he's the only one who's ever shown to care about himself and others for a large portion of his life. Midoriya is such a complex character but you genuinely can only tell if you look deeper than what bnha has on the surface of it which makes me sad. I’m not here to diss horis writing and world building skills-he's much better at it than me- I just wish he would go deeper into his characters issues than having them fixed in short spurts (momo)

[chronically-evie]

rant warning

my new therapist is so insistent on me doing exposure therapy that i can't talk about anything but my anxiety with him and i am diagnosed borderline so if i don't talk about this shit it's gonna turn into a giant split and ive been working so hard on not splitting on my boyfriend but i need a vent for it like i can't fucking bottle up all the dumb shit he's doing

it's not his fault that he has memory issues i KNOW it's not his fault but he doesn't ever fucking tell me what's going on

APPARENTLY his shitty ass best friend (treats him like garbage and is the most racist transphobic dick ive ever had the displeasure of meeting) has a birthday this weekend and he neglected to tell me until today. literally the day before. and i haven't seen him in two weeks either and we had plans. so i asked him why he didn't tell me and he said he didn't know it was happening. he has been friends with him since fucking KINDERGARTEN and he doesn't know his birthday? i genuinely think that's fucking bullshit.

his memory issues are not bad enough to that level, if anything they're more short term, and we've been dating a little less than a year and he knows my birthday.

and he's calling me unreasonable because im fucking pissed obviously i would be upset over this we've talked it over before and one of my main issues with him is communication like i NEED to know what is going on so i don't freak out and he never. fucking. tells. me.

like genuinely when he is out with friends he does not text me once and he says he'll be done within like 3 hours which is good and fine and then he's gone for 6. and doesn't text me once. not even like a single thought crosses his mind to maybe text me the simplest sentence?? "hey i'm gonna be gone an extra 3 hours i love you" would be fine. but he doesnt. and then i freak out bc i have panic hallucinations and i genuinely think he is dead and i spam call him and he texts me when he gets home acting as if im unreasonable and crazy and dramatic

and im not ALLOWED to be mad at him anymore because he dumped me a month ago and like said he didn't love me and shit bc i split on him and the only reason i got him to get back with me was saying i'll change bc he was mad about me getting upset over things that he does wrong so now every time i get upset over something i have to shut the fuck up because i don't want him to leave me

sorry for the rant im fucking pissed

[mugzymiik]

HELLO THERE i wasnt able to make anything special for halloween sadly bc i got busy :(

have tpc incorrect quotes as compensation/hj

(i added one or two of my ocs just for the funsies)

Cyan: Apparently ‘double stuffed’ oreos only contain 1.87 times the stuffing of regular oreos...

Gold: Round that up. 

Cyan: 1.9

Gold: Round it up another time. 

Cyan: 1.9 

Gold: Another time. 

Cyan: 1.9 

Gold: Could you PLEASE round it up for me just ONE MORE TIME, Cyan.

Cyan: 1.9 

Orange: And that concludes our rounding of oreos. 

Tsavorite: oreos are already round

-

Tsavorite: That’s the longest worm I’ve ever seen!

Orange: That’s a fucking snake

-

Cube: HELP! I’M DROWNING!

Lythorus: Chill. We’re only in five and a half feet of water, Cube.

Cube: NOT ALL OF US ARE TALL, LYTHORUS!

-

Iris: I’m not mad, I just need to know why you two had a fake ID.

Tsavorite: -Incoherent mumbling-

Iris: Huh?

Orange: …You need to be 18 to hold the puppies at PetCo…

-

Gold: The universe is cold and unfeeling. The only constant is chaos.

Pyrare: Was that place out of chocolate-chip pancakes again?

-

Heli: “Ladies and gentlemen” is unnecessarily gendered, overly formal, lengthy, and honestly, I’m falling asleep already. “Cowards” on the other hand, is inclusive to all genders, to the point, and dramatic.

-

Cyan, on a random band name generator: Ooh! “They Might Be Depressed Horses”! That about sums up our entire group.

-

Marcle: Hello, McDonald's. I would like to purchase 130 chicken nuggets. Prepare yourselves.

-

Pentellow: Where’s Tsavorite?

Orange: Around

Pentellow: "Around"?

Orange: You don’t have any idea, do you?

Tsavorite, dropping down from above: Did any of you guys know there’s a space above the ceiling?!

-

Lythorus: Hey bro, what do you want to eat?

Cubic: THE SOULS OF THE INNOCENT.

Cube: A bagel.

Cubic: NO!

Cube: Two bagels.

-

Tsavorite: In my defense, I was left unsupervised!

Iris: Wasn’t Orange with you, though??

Orange: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

-

Tsavorite: -Floating out, disappointed after visiting an aquarium-

Orange: Tsav, what did you THINK a tiger shark was?!

-

Tsavorite: But that place is haunted…!

Orange: Ghosts prey on fear. Just be confident!

Tsavorite, marching into the haunted house: I AM NOT SCARED! I AM NOT A PUSSY!

-

Cube: What can therapy do for me that screaming in the bathroom for 30 minutes can’t?

-

Lythorus: I was just diagnosed with deez.

Gold: Good, I hope it’s lethal.

-

Cyan: So, Gold, I've been thinking–

Gold: That's pretty dangerous for you.

-

Quintagon: Hexagram, how do you feel about lifting heavy things? 

Hexagram: My doctor just said I should avoid– 

Quintagon: Being a wuss? I agree.

-

Dub: -On the phone- (About Lycanthropy) Just snap his kneecaps and he’ll talk, I’m at a parent teacher conference.

Dub: Anyways, you said Cyanide is enjoying finger painting! That's great.

-

Beau: Sorry, who are you?

Cubic: Oh, I’m Cubic

Beau: Oh yeah, I’ve heard about you from Cube…

Cubic: Are you his friend or some shit??

Beau: No.

Beau: I’m his therapist.

-

Orange: It’s a little funny how well you and Gold get along… Didn’t he hate you at first?

Tsavorite: Gold hates everybody at first. It’s his way of reaching out to people!

-

Pyrare: -Winks for some reason-

Iris, Cube and Pentellow, holding up crosses: -SCREAMING-

[spicesweet]

Helloo, im looking for advice and your blog seems like a safe place but feel free to ignore if that's too much/out of your depth

So I never got diagnosed with an ed but I did ballet in my formative tears (4yo til 11) and as such I started 'caring' about my weight/stature very early (recently found journal entries from when I was 6 and I was measuring my waist every night). When I had my first smartphone I obv downloaded every 'health' app I could find (lifesum, movesum, whatever, I probably had it at one point), but after hs I got into a bad depressive episode but one of the upside is that I decided to eat what felt good and not just focus on random cals. Recently I decided to get back in shape and well, let's say that it started innocently but I ended with myfitnesspal back on my phone. And like. I'm trying again but just, how do you do it? Bc even when I wasn't counting cals I still categorised every meal into good or bad, I always planned what I was going to eat and like, is there a way to not center my life around food?

Sorry for the rant but I'm just so frustrated and sad with myself

Sending you love 💞

first of all, thank you so much for trusting me with this. this is in fact a safe space, and I'm glad it shows ♡

your message actually tugged at my heartstrings, because I relate to this so much! in one way or another, since I was a kid, I've orbited around food more than any other topic. even now, when I'm doing better than ever, I'm healthy and strong and honestly the closest I've ever been to my ideal, dream body, food is still something I'll spend a lot of time thinking about. disordered eating behaviors are hard to move on from exactly because food is central to our lives! it's the most basic need any animal has, regardless of what "food" means to that animal, and we're no different.

for me, I was tired. I spent my entire life loathing myself, feeling disgust and hatred that consumed me and at the same time paralyzed me, caused me to be unable to change. but life kept happening, and eventually I was in a completely new circumstance that allowed me to very slowly change my relationship with food. I have no shame in admitting that I don't know if it would've happened if I didn't have my man with me, because he made me want to do better, be better and healthier so I could stand proud next to him. I didn't want him to date a sick girl who would only have limitations to present him. but I do believe it would've happened eventually, just slower, maybe.

but to answer your actual question, how I do it, I think it's sort of like battling an addiction. you can't really ever take your foot off the pedal, relax and just think that if you get a little better, it'll be forever and you'll never have to worry about it coming back. I think having an eating disorder in your teens is so much harder because everything is impulsive, immediate, instant, including our expectations. now that I'm past that, I can understand that being extreme and hardcore doesn't last, but smaller actions add up. my commitment to myself and my health is a forever deal, and at the same time, I'm only concerned about today. I think my disordered eating behaviors are an addiction for me, because as much as I know how harmful they are, I also do find comfort in them. they do serve me, in lots of way, like addictive substances do. so I don't ever let my guard down around them, and I each day I wake up focused on keeping them away for the day. I don't bother with tomorrows and yesterdays, only today, only the next time.

and don't get me wrong: I still plan my meals ahead, I still get guilty often, I still regret eating this and that often. it's not a perfect system, and I think accepting and understanding that is also a part of the reason why I've been healthier. I'm not looking for a perfect lifestyle or a perfect relationship with food, but rather a sustainable one, and there's no room for obsession, self-loathing, impulsiveness and nonchalantry when it comes to sustainability. there's a lot of planning, watching out, discipline and understanding instead.

I think that if you identify disordered eating behaviors in your story, I think it's okay to understand that it is and will probably always be a big piece of your life, and even more okay that you'll have to treat this topic with special attention. I can't tell you how this special attention will go because that's literally a self-discovery problem, but it's about finding out what purpose the behaviors are serving and then finding a way to replace them with sustainable, flexible and accessible ones. you just need to investigate what these mean to you. to me, it means mainly a lot of reading about health and a lot of cooking and learning about nutrition and a lot of hours on top of a treadmill. eventually, if you're patient with yourself, embracing low moments but not giving up, not rushing your process, not expecting immediate results, I know you'll eventually find your healthy. ⁠♡

[nicksbestie]

hey hi I desperately need to project, is there a way you could write something like autistic ashton that starts unmasking around the boys bc he's more comfortable around them but then after hanging out or doing whatever he's just overthinking everything and beating himself up over being "too autistic" 🧍

sorry it took so long!!! yes i can :)

Anxiety

word count: 827

warnings: anxiety, a snippet of self hatred, talk of unmasking

<3 enjoy!

He really shouldn’t be so worried about this. It isn’t that big of a deal, or, it shouldn’t be. All of the guys knew he was autistic, they were fully accepting, and yet he’s still beating himself up for it. The big question is, why? He had to chalk it up to just pure anxiety, because there was no way that there was a logical reason for this. 

Now that he was home, he was overthinking every single behavior, word, and move he had made or spoken while he was hanging out with the guys. Luke had asked him about a drum part he’d been working on fixing and he’d gone through explaining every single piece of his drum set, and Michael had complimented the crystal around his neck and he’d spent forty five minutes talking about the different kinds. 

To be entirely fair, they knew those were two of his biggest special interests, so he shouldn’t feel bad for talking so much about them, especially when he was prompted to do so, but he did anyway. For twenty five years, Ashton had masked his autism, and was just learning how to undo that. He’d been diagnosed later in life, just after he turned twenty four, but he still didn’t know how to completely drop the persona he’d been living in for two and a half decades. That kind of change is really hard, and he was terrified he would become too much for the people he loved the most, his band. 

He didn’t want them to think that he was a bother, or suddenly a lot to handle, or anything of the sort, so when he was unmasking around them, he only showed a part or two about him. He still kept up some of the masking, trying his hardest to read between the lines of neurotypical questions, desperately trying to hide the fact that he couldn’t read their tones at any point in time. 

But today, he’d continued to speak for so long, he’d stimmed much more than he had previously allowed himself to, and he was so much louder than normal. He hadn’t seen the look on his bandmates faces after they all said goodbye and he walked away, but he was sure that they wore matching expressions of disgust. 

If he had actually taken the time to study them, he would’ve seen the bright smiles on each of them. They were so happy to see more of the authentic Ashton, and wished he would let them in on more. But they also knew that they had to be very careful with him, as he was not only a naturally anxious person, but he was still learning to unmask himself, and trying to push that could be detrimental to his journey.

But Ashton was sitting at home, absolutely miserable, unaware of all of these things. He jumped when his phone rang, relaxing slightly when he saw it was only Calum calling. However, he tensed right back up when he thought about why Calum might be calling.

Was he being kicked out of the band? Did they hate him, or want him to go back to acting the way he did before he got his diagnosis? Or worse, if there even was worse?

He picked up the phone, unable to hide the shake in his voice. 

“H-Hello?”

Calum’s smile faded a bit at the anxious tone, hoping Ashton wasn’t spiraling.

He was, but Calum didn’t have to know that. Not right now. 

“Hey Ash! How are you, man?” 

Ashton relaxed once more when Calum’s tone, cheery and friendly, wafted into the phone. It couldn’t be bad news if he sounded so happy about it, right?

“I’m fine, did you need something?” 

Calum coughed slightly on the other end before speaking. 

“Yeah, actually, I wanted to talk to you about something.” 

No. Nonononononono…

He took a deep breath before replying. 

“Okay, what is it?”

“You know that thing you’ve been doing since you got diagnosed? What’s it called again? Un- no, it’s not uncovering..” 

Ashton’s smile dropped. 

“Unmasking?” 

Calum sounded like he perked up again.

“Yes! That! I was talking with Luke and Michael about it, after we saw you today. We just wanted to tell you that we’ve seen the way your personality has changed, well, not changed, but you’ve become more yourself, if that makes sense. We’re really happy for you, and just wanted you to know that you will always have our full support.”

Ashton was in shock. 

“You mean, you don’t hate me?” 

Calum let out a laugh, but it was more of a shocked laugh than anything else. 

“God, no. We love you, we always will. We just want you to be happy, and we’ve seen how much happier you look. You seem healthy.” 

As they wrapped up and hung up the call, Ashton’s smile matched the ones he hadn’t seen on the rest of the band’s faces earlier that day. 

[crossover-enthusiast]

If you haven’t already could you please spare some thoughts on the replacement fellas…? 🤲

Oooo yes yes yes!!

They don't have as much as John and Jack (for obvious reasons) but I do have some stuff for them based off OG The Captain and Shotgun Man + general musings

Gonna do the same as I did for John and Jack, them separate and then together

Got surprisingly long again, so read more time!

The Captain - "Police, BITCH!" - Isn't actually the captain (that would be John, technically), still calls himself that - While on-shift his demeanor is close to that of The Captain from Every StoryTime Animation and Mokey's Show, more reserved and Shotgun's straight man. Off-shift he's a lot more goofy - Acts like he has the braincell, really doesn't - Has absolutely used "Police, BITCH!" on a suspect before - A massive flirt oh my god, and most of it is cheesy gestures and sappy pick up lines - Him pulling down his shades was him trying to flirt with Jack, John, and Patty - He's tried to flirt with Patty before and she does not care for it lol - Tried to flirt with Evermore on his first day on the job and nearly got fired - Most likely bi - Mans the tip line. It's pretty uneventful (as far as this town goes, anyway), but he's noticed that every now and then this gruff-voiced guy will anonymously call in to report child abuse cases - Oddly though, any tips related to the cult seem to go missing when he's on shift, if they're recorded at all… - Still has that grey brick of a flip phone. No he will not get a new one - Orders his contacts by name and then an emoji of something he associates with them, e.g. John 🚬, Jack 🍩, etc. -- this makes them easier to search for, in his opinion. The exception to this is Shotgun, whose contact is instead BFF ❤❤🙂 - Has ~mommy issues~ - Is the one who drives bc Shotgun would absolutely try to run over potential suspects - Shotgun is the bad bitch he pulled by being autistic /j - He is actually autistic tho! Undiagnosed, probably isn't aware he has it - His sunglasses are not only cool but hide how he's avoiding eye contact most of the time B) - Readjusts his tie constantly - If he doesn't want to deal with something he'll most likely just shoot it - His favorite donuts are plain with pink frosting and sprinkles the cliche donut lol - The guy ever, a little weird but definitely one of the more normal people in town

Shotgun Man - "SHOTGUN POW!!" - Usually just called Shotgun, Shotty, or SG/SGM - Still has the shotgun, no one knows why - I don't think he has the safety on- - Has threatened many a perp by shoving the barrel of his gun in their face - Absolute menace honestly, it's a wonder he hasn't been fired yet - Sometimes leans on his shotgun (the barrel is pointed at the floor, he's not that stupid) - Almost never refers to people by their first name, instead using titles or last names (e.g. Sheriff, Nurse, Velseb, etc.). For some reason Jerald is an exception, and Shotty will always refer to him by name - Mellows out slightly when around Captain. Slightly. - Gets control of the radio and all he plays is either heavy metal or stations no one's heard of - Probably eats at Boys n Grills - Does finger guns by putting his hands together to make a single big gun - Would get along great with Dexter - GNC AF, would wear a dress for fun - Runs on cartoon physics similar to Skid and Pump, but only when it would be funny - He has ADHD :> Unlike the others he's actually diagnosed, tho he doesn't take medication for it because of course he doesn't - "POW" is a vocal stim - When he’s feeling mischievous™ he’ll rub his hands together - Doesn't know what he is but it sure as hell ain't straight - On Valentines Day he went into the station early so he could jump Captain, Jack, and John and give them surprise smooches - However bc this is Shotty it ended up playing out like a horror movie lol - Generally just someone big on physical affection and PDA, and he loves to fluster people: slinging his arm around someone's shoulder, random hugs, kisses, that kinda thing - His favorite donuts are cake donuts and he will fight people for them - Just a silly goofy guy, I love him

Both - The cops before John and Jack were real - Braincell pecking order is Shotgun Man -> Jack -> Captain -> John - They were officers at another precinct before getting transferred, and Captain actually was the captain there - Both are still friends and in contact with Jerald (the swat guy) - Even tho Jack and John kept their jobs Evermore still hired Captain and Shotgun, if only to get the press off his back about underfunding the police - "See, they're not underfunded, I just hired two new officers!" (they are still heavily underfunded) - Really they just kinda goof around, Jack and John handle the more serious cases - When they are on a case, they're... semi-competent - They're also both shoot first, ask questions later - This isn't a hc but more so an idea, but if they show up again I want them to interact with the Hobomen, there is ample opportunity to recreate the "NOOOO, IT'S PISS!!" joke with Tankman and Shotgun and that would be so funny - Both of them realized real quick that John and Jack have feelings for each other and they are such teases about it - Captain is more subtle. Shotty, in comparison, once shouted "OH, JUST KISS ALREADY!" at the two - As for their relationship to each other… - No one can figure out what these two are to each other and they think that's hilarious - For real tho, they just like being around each other. They are a package deal, no matter what way you spin them, and they ain't gonna be separated - I like the idea that in general they're a lot more upfront and casual in their relationship, offers a nice contrast to John and Jack - This also means Captain gets the brunt of Shotty's affections! You'd think Captain would be used to it but Shotty always seems to find a new way to fluster him - Are horrible enablers to Jack's pranks, and regularly help him pull them - John is so exasperated by their antics, please save him - Dunno who came up with this initially but I got it from @mallory-vallory so: I like the idea that their actual names are Scott (Captain) and Sammy (Shotgun), feels fitting. Almost no one calls them by their actual names tho - Also there's this art by Ratzzle/Charlieratqueen on twitter of the two wearing patterned scarves during Contagious Christmas and it looks so cute so that is part of my headcanon for their winter clothes now pls and thank u - If they actually had to work with John and Jack on a case it'd be fucking chaos, good lordy - Overall they're dumbasses and bad at their jobs, but at least they get it done

I'm honestly surprised at how much I had for these guys! They're definitely not rotating as fiercely as the other cop duo, but I've still thought a lot about them, both their original and Spooky Month incarnations

I think they have great potential as a comedic foil duo to John and Jack, hope we see them again in later episodes

[uno-writing]

i genuinely dont understand why you like John. There's nothing appealing about him. He's just an abusive white boy with anger issues 🤷

potential discourse below the cut🍿🥤🍭🍬🍫🧋🥨🥬🍦🍧🧊🐇🍩🥖📦🌻🥀🥒🧃🍰🌮🔫🌷

Its fine if you dont like him. And yk, you're not 100% wrong in calling him an abusive white boy with anger issues. But he's not just that.

He's an interesting character with an interesting arc and he's used to show the darker parts of society.

John spent his entire developmental years getting his ass beat just bc he was weaker than everyone around him. I'm sure before the people around him got their abilities, he still had to see people give his dad shit for being a null.

Developmentally that fucks with your head. I'm not trying to diagnose John with anything psychologically, but experiencing that much violence early on obviously twists one's perception.

He's protective and social and friendly when he wants to be. He does honestly care about the people in his life. Yes he's selfish, but honestly he hasn't had many people do shit for him in his life so I'm sure its hard for him to be selfless. But he does do selfless things even if they cause him discomfort or pain. Even after his King John arc, he steps up for other kids and he doesn't like bullies.

He's not happy with himself and he's making an honest effort to change. Which I think personally is part of the reason I like him. A lot of people in my life are like him when he's in his Joker arc and seeing him desperately try to change brings me comfort bc the people in my life haven't tried to change in the slightest. I dont really understand why that comforts me. But it does.

Dont get me wrong, Im in no way excusing his actions. Obviously he's not a great person and he's brutally hurt a lot of people and his past experiences don't excuse that. But it does explain why he is the way he is.

And I go through times where I strongly hate him bc he's annoying, or frustrating, or he's just making all the wrong decisions at all the worst times-

But also that makes him such a refreshing main character IMO. Most main characters have to be this good person, and make often make good decisions.

[wendytestabrat]

why i think stan is a mild aspie

ok like ik stan was just diagnosed with aspergers as a joke and aspergers isn’t even a real disorder in south park but like i def feel like there was some truth to that diagnosis bc i think stan does have some aspie/autism tendencies. i mean even tho stan is the most social and popular of the boys or whatever you can tell he still does struggle with social cues and communication at times i think this is why everyone in stan’s life just takes advantage of him *COUGH kyle and wendy COUGH* bc he doesn’t rlly know how to set boundaries. stan’s too nice to people and just goes along with whatever idk if that’s an autism trait but i think some people with autism are like that. but i also think this is why wendy gets annoyed with stan sometimes in their relationship bc he sucks at communicating and he gets so anxious with her that he pukes. stan can just be kinda oblivious & awkward at times and sometimes he won’t even know or can’t tell that wendy is mad about some shit until it’s too late lol. like i think “cock magic” is the best example like how did stan deadass not know wendy was on the volleyball team like even cartman knew LOL. there’s that deleted scene where wendy jumps down stan’s throat for it and she tells him that she said she’s on the volleyball team a bunch of times to him but he didn’t listen & he didn’t take her hint at the beginning when she said he should show his support for the volleyball team like he thought she meant she was going to the game just to watch instead of play. also another example of stan’s obliviousness was him being the only kid in the class to not know tolkien’s name was spelled tolkien LOL. stan also gets rlly in the zone sometimes and he has his little quirks and fixations he focuses on like most people with aspergers like how stan gets rlly into board games or magic the gathering and also he really likes songwriting too and cares abt helping animals. i mean stan will go to great lengths to help animals out like in “whale whores” even when no one else gives a shit and he has to do it by himself. also remember when he got so fucking hooked on freemium gaming that he gambled away all of the family’s money? LOL i also think the reason why stan stays friends with kyle even tho he’s a shit friend is bc it’s what he’s familiar with and he just doesn’t want things to change which is how people with autism are they like their routine and familiarity hence why he got so depressed when everything was changing in the episode “ass burgers” & he didn’t know how to move on and not be friends with kyle anymore. same with how stan refuses to date a girl other than wendy and he’s always trying to make his relationship with her work. stan is also not a very emotive person which is common in aspergers, because stan usually has a blank expression on his face most of the time and it takes a lot to get him to react to shit, but then when stan is pushed to his limit and he gets angry he fucking explodes lol. stan’s also a rlly smart and rational person, fuck the people who say kyle is the most logical one bc stan is lol. you can tell stan thinks things through logically and he doesn’t like having to deal with emotions in situations. i think a lot of this can be easily debunked or explained by something else like stan’s depression or maybe he’s just a rlly aloof person. but i think it’s worth pointing out. again, stan is pretty social unlike most people with aspergers which is why if he has it i think it’s only a mild case rather than someone with severe autism. but i think stan might just be as popular as he his bc he’s just a nice person like that and he doesn’t ever try to get into beef with anyone so people like being around him. i wanna hear what ya’ll think is this something you’ve noticed too or did u just pass the whole aspergers diagnosis as a joke like the episode intended.