#and i was like no make a bechamel sauce first

[ataraxiaspainting]

Star.

Yan Kafka x F Reader.

Synopsis: Kafka is waiting for a supernova to appear.

Warnings: Yandere themes, implied future kidnapping, not SFW implications, and stalking.

Word Count: 1k.

Ten Songs Like This Piece:

Lust for a Vampyr by I Monster

Living Dead Girl by Rob Zombie

Merry-Go-Round of Life - from ‘Howl’s Moving Castle’ by Joe Hisaishi

Stalker’s Tango by Autoheart

The Four Seasons - Winter in F Minor, RV. 296: I. Allegro non molto by Antonio Vivaldi

BLOODMONEY by Poppy

Fight of the Crows by Jhariah

Bernadette by IAMX

Smells Blood by Kensuke Ushio

Enemies to Lovers by Joshua Kyan Aalampour

“She's a Killer Queen; gunpowder, gelatin; dynamite with a laser beam; guaranteed to blow your mind (anytime).” – Queen, Killer Queen

*~*~*~*

“Hey, I like them!” You huff, grasping the bouquet of spider lilies closer to your chest, making the paper wrinkle up. At your response, Aina crosses her arms and sighs, looking at the other flower arrangements sitting on the shelves behind you.

“Those are too expensive.” Aina rebuts. She points, and you turn around to follow it, and in turn frown. 

Because of the low supply, the price of spider lily bouquets has increased to 700 credits per arrangement.

Kafka, pretending to look at the roses in the corner not facing the two of you, does not try to hide her smile and slight chuckle as you gasp at the sign’s words. “Cute…” 

Once more, you exhale with a mix of frustration and disappointment, forcefully planting your foot on the ground. Gradually, your stance transforms into that of a despondent balloon losing its air.

Utterly adorable.

“Why seven hundred? Flowers grow from the ground and they take hardly any effort to bundle up!” Aina puts her thumb and pointer finger on her temples, rubbing them like your question and exclamation just gave her the biggest headache in all of existence. She sighs.

You sigh too, grasping onto the spider lilies even harder.

“Spider lilies also represent bad luck.” She says, almost groaning. 

Neither of you know if you can be reasonable enough to let Aina be your impulse control as she always has been. “The red shade is really pretty and the tendrils are pretty too!”

“Please put them back, it is a bad financial investment.” You shake your head. “Please. [First]. [First], please. We still have to go and buy ingredients for dinner tonight. If it makes you feel better I can also help you bake dessert.”

Kafka already knows what you are going to make tonight. Pasta with bechamel sauce along with apple cake. 

“[First], at least choose a less expensive bouquet. That way we can afford everything. Plus we maybe can get something else small that is not on our grocery list.” Aina tries her best to put on a more gentle smile. “Please.”

Kafka moves to near the entrance of the food section of the store, waiting for this little trifle to be over with. She pretends to be looking at the meat aisle as that is the area closest to the flowers, ironically enough. 

“Sigh…” She purrs, imagining your hair loose and gently wrapped around her fingertips. “I wonder if you would prefer blush or velvet… maybe burgundy?” 

She imagines the way you will place your lips on hers and slowly but surely… move down.

She will do the same to you with her own.

“Maybe white.” She muses, thinking of different types of fabric to put on you. “Or perhaps black.”

Kafka wonders what you would choose if she brought you to a boutique rather than going by herself.

“Hm…” She murmurs, her mind going through many, many possibilities of the future ahead.

Then, she hears your triumphant laugh and then turns around to see you hugging Aina with the bouquet in tow. “I love you!”

“Uh-huh. Sure.” Aina mutters, crossing her arms and looking away from your happy face with a blush. “Just put them in the basket. We’ve used enough time here as it is.” You kiss her cheek, and her face only gets redder. “L-Let’s just go already.”

You only hug her tighter.

“Sir, yes, sir!” You exclaim, saluting, and Aina rolls her eyes.

Kafka’s smile falters.

“Tsk. Young love, I suppose.”

Of all the future possibilities, none of them will result in full success if Aina is still in the picture.

“Juliets.”

At the sight of you kissing Aina’s cheek again, Kafka resists the urge to bite her lip.

“But with great risk… comes great reward.”

She imagines how you would look under her.

Aina eventually manages to pry you off of her. “Alright, that’s enough, you’re praising me like I just saved your life or something.”

“You did!” You pout, almost cooing and still laughing joyfully. “This bouquet is the only medicine that can ever heal me of what ails me!”

Both Kafka and Aina sigh at the same time but for entirely different reasons.

But Kafka is the one who also licks her lips afterward. “I think perhaps a chemise would suit you best.”

“Let’s go to the fruits first!” You exclaim, pulling Aina along by the hand while she holds the basket.

“Which type of apple?” Aina asks, but Kafka already knows the answer. “Be sure to not get the very expensive ones this time.”

You two go past Kafka.

She takes out her phone for a split second and clicks the button.

It has been the closest you have ever been to her while you were conscious. But she hopes that soon, you will be even closer.

Wait, no. She knows that you will.

“Cute.” She whispers, booping the picture of you’s nose.

This has already become a favorite amongst the many, many photos she has of you.

Where you go, she follows. “Cute.” Surely, eventually, when you know of her, you will know that all too well. “So cute.”

She sees you pointing to the apples with a pinkish tint. Rose apples. Quite rare, if Kafka remembers correctly.

As Aina reads the sign next to them, she immediately shakes her head. “Way too expensive.”

Due to the cost of importation/exportation as well as the rarity of this species, the value of this type of product is quite high. One apple is worth 1600 credits.

You surprisingly show agreement this time, promptly diverting your attention to the assortment of apple varieties, accompanied by a hint of nervous laughter.

You end up choosing the Honeycrisps. They are good for baking cakes, you tell Aina as Kafka eavesdrops as she always does.

She imagines you baking for her and sitting on her lap.

It was only a matter of time because regardless of who is with you, one thing about you never changes; your naivety.

“All that is left is to be patient.”

[mynnthia]

Jack-O'-Lantern Potage and Sautéed Dryad Buds with Cheese (Kabocha Pumpkin Potage, and Sautéed Chinese Cabbage with Mushroom and Cheese)

ID: a photo with some dishes of food – from bottom to top: 1) a plate of sautéed chinese cabbage with mushroom and cheese sauce 2) a bowl of kabocha pumpkin soup 3) a pot of kabocha pumpkin soup. there is a sticky note on the pot with a face drawn to resemble the "Jack-O'-Lantern" bowl, pictured in the screenshot below

ID: a screenshot of the Dungeon Meshi anime, depicting "Jack-O'-Lantern Potage and Sautéed Dryad Buds with Cheese" the "Jack-O'-Lantern Potage" resembles pumpkin soup, served in 3 bowls and a pumpkin-like fruit with a face. the "Sautéed Dryad Buds with Cheese" is a ringed green vegetable covered in cheese sauce

ID: a photo of the same dishes as the first image in the post, but taken from a different angle

my first recreated dungeon meshi meal!

i had been planning on making kabocha pumpkin soup/potage for a while. after watching the newest dungeon meshi episode where they made "Jack-O'-Lantern Potage and Sautéed Dryad Buds with Cheese", i decided to recreate the full meal with the ingredients i had!

it turned out really good, definite recommend

if anyone is interested, i wrote up additional info about my process under the cut:

"kabocha" is the english term for the main kind of pumpkin common in east/southeast asia. it has a richer flavor and texture than orange pumpkins in the west, which makes it great for soups and stir-fries.

for my soup, i combined the kabocha with carrot and potato. the additional vegetables add nutritional value, and help "bulk up" the portion size.

ID: a photo of 2 kabocha pumpkins. one is sliced open hotdog-style, the other is intact [link to image source]

despite the smaller portion size, adapting the "Sautéed Dryad Buds with Cheese" was the bigger challenge for me – i was already familiar with making kabocha soup, so that was simple

i decided to use some leftover chinese cabbage for the dryad buds because of the similar appearance. i assume it was meant to be analogous to onion, but i'm allergic

ID: screenshot of some Dungeon Meshi manga panels, featuring Senshi preparing and cooking the dryad buds. when Senshi cuts open the dryad bud, he notes "mmm, this has a nice aroma"

when i tried searching for "cheese cabbage recipe" all the results were for oven-baked dishes. i debated baking the cabbages, but when i tried to cut them into rings, the cabbage didn't really hold shape, so i decided to just sauté them to save time

i thought about just throwing some shredded cheese into the pan when sautéing, but decided to make a cheese sauce for more accuracy

i made bechamel sauce (a french sauce base, made from melted butter, flour, and milk), and added cheese to make a cheese sauce. then i stir-fried the cabbage and mushrooms in butter and olive oil, seasoned with salt, pepper, paprika, and a bit of light soy sauce. i added the cheese sauce afterwards. it turned out surprisingly well!

ID: a screenshot of the Dungeon Meshi anime, depicting "Sautéed Dryad Buds with Cheese" being made a ringed green vegetable is being cooked with mushrooms on top, and a cheese sauce being poured onto it

if youve made it to here, thank you for reading! idk if ill recreate more dungeon meshi dishes in the future (i just happened to have all the ingredients for this one already, so it was convenient) but we'll see

[nolita-fairytale]

first i would like to say congrats and thank you for doing this celebration!! ✨✨✨ i was thinking about a blurb 🥐 for Carmy that has been on my mind forever! i keep going back to this ideia of something like that scene from Bridget Jones’s Diary in which she’s trying to make dinner for her friends and she’s doing this soup and instead of using like a normal string she uses a blue one and the soup turns blue and Colin Firth’s character ends up helping her out idk I feel like Carmy would be delighted to see something like that! 💛

slowly, slowly making my way through the rest of my follower requests. anyone else getting their ass kicked at work these days? i'm fine but work has just been exceptionally worky and i think it should stop. lmao anyways... i love this idea that @pleasecallmeunhinged brought to me and am so happy that i've gotten to sit down and work on it this evening.

It's just butter, flour, and milk. How hard can it be?

At least that's what you think to yourself as you volunteer to make the bechamel sauce for the lasagna. You've watched Carmy work hard, all day long, rolling sheets of pasta out while the bolognese stews low and slow in the oven.

It's not till he has to run a quick errand for Richie that he realizes that this slow Sunday dinner might get pushed back a few hours.

"I can do it, Bear," you offer, considering that, since dating Carmy, your skills in the kitchen have massively improved.

Striving your best to always be a student, you've picked up a few things in your relationship with Carmy, even if it doesn't come as naturally to you as you hoped it would.

It starts simply:

Melt the butter. Whisk in flour. Stir in milk. Add herbs to steep in the bechamel sauce for flavor.

But for the life of you, you can't find the kitchen twine (whatever the hell that is), settling for a long piece of royal blue yarn from the last time you thought you'd take up crocheting. Without a second thought, you toss the bundle of herbs into the milk, butter, and flour mixture, to let it infuse.

"Everything okay, babe?" Carmy asks you when he returns, immediately seeing the look on your face.

"Don't laugh, okay?" you request, only mildly embarrassed, but mostly humored by the whole situation. Carmy shoots you a quizzical look as you take his hand, gently leading him over to the stove where your bechamel-fail sits.

"Why would I-? Oh fuck, babe!" Carmy exclaims, as soon as he inside of the saucepan.

It's blue.

A deep, royal blue, a few shades lighter from the white of the bechamel sauce.

"Remember when I decided I was going to take up crocheting again? Well uh... You didn't have any kitchen twine so I... sort of used some yarn that I found and...." you explain, carefully, searching Carmy's face for any kind of reaction to your kitchen mishap.

Instead he just stares at it, and you can't tell whether he's horrified or in shock, that by the time he opens his mouth, you don't know what to expect.

"Carm?" you ask him, the long silence beginning to worry you.

And instead of answering, all he can do is laugh.

It's the kind of laugh that's full bodied and fully bellied, taking him over, and lighting him up from end to end. It's contagious -- so contagious that you begin to join in, practically gasping for air because of how hard you and Carmy laugh together at the blue bechamel.

You can see it in the way his eyes crinkle at the corners, at how his cheeks turn red, with the way he looks at you like you're the most precious thing in the world.

"Yo this is..." he starts, beginning to come down from his fit of laughter.

"A mess?" you suggest, exchanging a look with your boyfriend.

"Fuck yeah," he agrees enthusiastically, grinning from ear to ear as he adds:

"But you're my mess. C'mon! Let's get this pot cleaned up and I'll show you how to make it for real."

[dialovers-translations]

DIABOLIK LOVERS ZERO Animate Tokuten Drama CD “A Vampire’s Late Night Snack Terror” [Kou ver.]

Original title: 夜更かしヴァンパイアの食テロ飯 [コウ編]

Source: Diabolik Lovers ZERO Vol. 2 Animate Tokuten CD

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Kimura Ryouhei

Translator’s note: Take notes everyone, do not EVER let Kou into your kitchen because he will destroy the place. That being said, it was really cute to see him be such a disaster in the kitchen. Especially all of the shrieking and cries of panic had me giggle more than once. (Sorry Kou) You know it’s bad when the MC had to resort to eventually having him pour hot water over a pre-made onigiri and call it a dish. :p

*Rustle rustle*

You approach Kou in the kitchen.

“...Oh? You’re awake too? Are you thirsty, maybe? ...Personally I’m here because I got hungry so I’m looking to see if there’s still any food around. 

I know I already had seconds, but just dinner isn’t enough to tie me over. I’m still a growing boy, you see? So I end up needing a small snack before bed every now and then. 

Seems like everyone ate a lot today though so there aren’t any leftovers...So, perhaps I should indulge in your blood instead~? That doesn’t sound bad either.”

You shake your head.

“Hahaha! I’m joking! Even though your blood is delicious, there’s a difference between being hungry for blood or actual food. I’ll have your blood some other time, okay~? ...Anyway, guess I have no other choice but to have a slice of white bread and go to bed. It’s at times like this where I wish I could whip up something real quick. I shouldh ave learnt how to cook at some point in my life.”

You offer to teach him some easy recipes.

“Eh? Really!? You’ll teach me!”

You seem somewhat surprised that he’s willing to cook.

“Of course! I’ll gladly make something if you’re the one giving me instructions! Well then, today you’re the instructor and I’m your student! ...Sensei, I’m starving!”

You ask Kou what he wants to eat.

“Hm...What I want to eat? I’m not sure...I’d say pasta but we’re all out after tonight’s dinner...”

*Rustle*

“Ah! In that case, doria! (1) A piping hot plate, loaded with extras and topped with a generous amount of cheese!”

You nod.

“Hooray! Let’s get started then!”

*TIMESKIP*

*Rustle*

“All set! What should we do first?”

You explain.

“Hm...The bechamel sauce, huh? Let me handle that!”

You give him instructions.

“Uhm...I should melt some butter? I’ll a pot...”

*Cling*

Kou turns on the stove.

“The flour goes in next, right? Let me just open the bag...”

*Rustle rustle*

“Huh...? The bag won’t...Huh!? ...How does it work!? It won’t open!”

*RIIIIIP*

“Aaah!”

*Thud*

“Coff, coff...Gosh, I didn’t think I’d end up dropping the whole bag. You’re completely white right now, M-neko-chan...Eh? So am I? Ah-ahー The pot’s a mess as well. ...Aah, no biggie! One more time! I’m starting over from scratch!”

*Rustle rustle*

*Pshhhh*

“Eeh!? The butter turned black! ...Uwah! There’s smoke! Look!”

*Pshhh*

“One second, the pot got knocked over...Uwaaah!!”

*WOOSH*

“Flames!! It’s on fire!! M-neko-chan, water! Quick!!” 

*SHATTER SHATTER*

*Shatter*

*TIMESKIP*

“...Uu...The kitchen’s a hot mess...How come I just can’t seem to get it right? Am I just too clumsy...!? Whatever, I’m never cooking again in my whole life...”

You try to motivate him to keep going.

“It’ll turn out a disaster no matter how many times I try! I’m just not cut out for it! Besides, we’ve blasted through most of our ingredients as well...Even if we were to try to buy new ones, almost all stores are closed at this hour.”

You grab hold of his hand and start dragging him out of the kitchen.

*Rustle rustle*

“Eh!? ‘Let’s go’? But where!? ...Hey! M-neko-chan, listen to me!”

*Thud*

*TIMESKIP*

*Rustle rustle*

“We’re back...”

*Rustle*

“I was wondering where you’d take me, but I didn’t expect the convenience store...And on top of that you bought onigiri. If you’re no longer in the mood to cook, you could have at least gotten me a proper bento.” 

You tell him that you’re going to cook with the onigiri.

“Eh? You actually haven’t given up yet? Then why did you buy these things?”

You ask him to have faith in you.

“Well, if you say so...Fine, this is the final try! I promise that I’ll make a delicious late-night snack this time!”

You nod. 

“Mmh! Well then, Sensei! Please give me instructions! Okay, I’ll get a bowl first...”

*Thud*

“Then put the onigiri we bought in the...”

*Rustle*

“...Eh? We’re going to use the onigiri!?”

You ask him to have faith in you.

“Okay. I’ll put it in then! I chose one with grilled fish roe and seaweed inside!”

You continue to give him instructions. 

“Then with that...Eh? We’re putting this in as well? Uhm...”

*Rustle*

“In goes one packet of dried bonite flakes from the convenience store!”

*Rustle rustle*

“And then a splash of soy sauce...”

*Pshhh*

“Hm...That should do, I guess? Last but not least we pour in some hot water...”

*Pshhh*

“Mix everything up and it’s done!”

*Dun dun*

“Easy-made dashi-chazuke (2) from the convenience store!”

“Eh!? Are you sure we’re done!? All I did was pour hot water in!”

You prompt him to try it.

“I mean, I’ll try it now that I’ve made it...”

*Thud*

“Thanks for the meal...”

*Cling*

“Phew...Phew...Hahn...Mmh...Mm! It’s delicious! The dried bonito flakes really helped to give the broth that extra punch of flavor! Hahn...!”

*Nom*

“The rice is nice and hot as well, warming me up from inside.”

*Sluuuurp*

“I made the right choice with my onigiri fillings! I love how fluffy the rice is in comparison to the fried fish roe which pops in your mouth! The saltiness makes it so that I could eat several bowls of this! The dried seaweed gives off flavor as well, so it’s very hearty and savory! ...Here, you should give it a try as well! Phew...Phew...Say ‘aahn’.”

Kou feeds you.

*Rustle rustle*

You tell him it’s good.

“Right!? I honestly could grow addicted to this! ...Here, you can have one more bite!”

You shake your head.

“Nu-uh! This is your reward! I have to show my thanks to you for teaching me so well! Come on, open your mouth~ ‘Aaahn’“

*Chomp*

“Good girl ...You’re really enjoying it, huh? Seems like you haven’t even realized that eating from the same chopsticks counts as an indirect kiss~”

You suddenly become flustered.

“Oh geez, you’re panicking now? Too late~ Besides, we’ve kissed plenty of times before, no?”

*Nom nom*

*Sluuuurp*

“Mm...Mmh!”

*Thud*

“Thanks for the meal! Haah~ I’m stuffed! I ended up scarfing it down! I didn’t think such an easy recipe could count as cooking as well.”

You remind him that he just cooked a dish by himself.

“Huh? ...Right! I managed to make something by myself! ...Thanks for keeping up with me till the end. ...My fine motor skills aren’t always the best, so I always thought that cooking just wasn’t for me. Ruki’s been cooking for me for as long as I can remember. But ever since you started making food instead, I’ve been getting the urge to help out where I can, so I’m glad I challenged myself today!”

You ask him if that was his real objective for wanting to cook something tonight.

“Fufu~ I spilled the beans. Still, it’s not like I wanted to hide it or anything. I know I messed up a lot, but I’ll improve step by step starting with the little things I can manage.”

You agree and cheer him on.

“Mmh! Thanks! I’d love to thank you with a kiss but...I’m pretty sure I’ve got fishy breath from the ochazuke so let’s leave that for another time.”

You blush.

“Oh come on, look at you acting all flustered again~ We both know that you’re happy deep down.”

You puff out your cheeks. 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m sorry! Well then...Guess I’ll go brush my teeth and then hit the hay.”

*Rustle*

“Ah...The kitchen...What do we do about it?”

*Cling cling*

“If Ruki-kun sees this, he’ll explode... (3)”

You tell him that you should clean up.

“R-Right! Let’s clean everything up while we can! Ruki-kun might be an early bird, but there’s no way he’d be awake at this hour!”

They hear Ruki approach the kitchen. 

“Ah...These footsteps...Uh-oh. ...Let’s quickly make a run for it, M-neko-chan!”

The two of you run away.

ーー THE END ーー

Translation notes

(1) The best way to describe ‘doria’ would be an Asian lasagna. It’s a very popular Italian-inspired Japanese dish consisting of rice in a bechamel sauce (I believe sometimes it can be a mixture of red and white sauce too) with vegetables or meats of your choice, topped with a layer of grated cheese and then baked in the oven so it gets that crispy crust just like a lasagna has.

(2) Ochazuke is a very simple Japanese dish consisting of boiled rice in a broth, in this case a traditional dashi-broth.

(3) Literally Kou says that a bolt of lightning will come striking down.

[sashi-ya]

𝐇𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐎𝐁𝐄𝐑 ♡ ᴅᴀʏ 23 ➡ 𝐑𝐈𝐌𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓'𝐒 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐑?. nsfw .minors dni 𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐑𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞 𝐱 𝐠𝐧! 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐑𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭: 𝙰𝚗𝚘𝚗𝚢𝚖𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚊𝚜𝚔𝚎𝚍: 𝙷𝚒 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎! 𝙸’𝚖 𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚢 𝚢𝚘𝚞’𝚛𝚎 𝚍𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝙺𝚒𝚗𝚔𝚝𝚘𝚋𝚎𝚛. 𝙲𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝙸 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙳𝚊𝚢 𝟸𝟹 𝚂𝚕𝚘𝚝 (𝚛𝚒𝚖𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚐) 𝙲𝚘𝚛𝚊𝚣𝚘𝚗 𝚡 𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚗𝚎𝚞𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚕 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛? 𝙸𝚏 𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚒𝚝’𝚜 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚍𝚘𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚔. 𝚃𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔𝚜 𝚜𝚘 𝚖𝚞𝚌𝚑 ✨🥰 𝐓𝐰: nsfw. spanking and rimming cora-san. Why? why! 𝐰𝐜: 841 ➡ hentober masterlist

“Do you think it would be ok?” the blonde asks “It will be more than ok, Rosi…” you assure, while the tip of your tongue works wonders...

Nights with your husband have been beautiful since you two moved in together. Little Law is already a young man and tonight he is spending his night at Luffy’s house for his birthday party.

Being alone is something married couples with kids for sure cherish, and, because of that Rosinante wanted to prepare a special dinner for you. Of course, you didn’t let him do it on his own just to protect the integrity of your household. However, because you knew how important it is for him, you let him help you.

“Pass me the milk, Rosi babe” you tell him, while ready to prepare some Bechamel sauce. Him, happy that you requested for his help, quickly opens the fridge, and soon pops the bottle out. Up until then there were no accidents, no falls nor burned down husband…

“Do you need me to bring you the corn cans, babe?” he asks, all happy walking way too sure towards the pantry. A place that’s little, too little for him.

You take a look at him, scrutinizing the little room with little to no light to find the corn, and, of course, things had to go the way they always do. The sound of stuff falling and flying from tins hitting your sweet husband on his head, catches your attention.

Soon enough, you find him turned upside down, with his ass up and a lot of stuff covering his laughing face. “Sowwy…” he mumbles, trying not to laugh. At this point him falling it’s to him a funny situation.

“Your ass looks really good that way, Rosinante” you joke, but in reality it does. His white jeans accentuates his hard glutes. “You bet! I’ve been training to make it look like a Kardashian” he jokes back, laughing and spanking his own ass cheeks the best way he can. You start laughing, it really made you laugh. How can someone be injured and still make jokes at the same time?

“Come, touch touch” he teases you, still laughing. And you comply, if there is something you two love to do is to have fun like to silly teenagers in love. You pinch and softly spank, but something lights up a certain spark inside you… and probably inside Rosinante too…

Your spanks become stronger and harder, your pinching too. And him, getting a lot more comfortable, begins to also enjoy such practices… apparently, the sex night couldn’t wait for after dessert.

“Hey, I think I like doing this” you inform him, this time not giggling but smirking lewdly. “You do? What else you enjoy?” he asks, lifting his ass a little more up.

“Well… let me see…” you purr, kneeling behind him, passing your arms to the front to unbutton his jeans. “Allow me to… show you, then” you mumble, sliding the pants down including his heart patterned boxers.

His perfect anatomy gets exposed to you, from behind you can see his sex already drippy hanging. It’s hard and his skin becomes bumpy when your palms barely graze from his glutes down his thighs.

You place a kiss, it’s deliciously temping not to. You were cooking dinner because you two were hungry, but now you have a different type, more primal and feral, type of hunger.

Rosi squirms when the kisses abandon his glutes and legs to get right in the middle of his entrance. “Are you- sure?” he asks, since this will be the first time you both try something like what you are about to do.

“Silence, if you don’t like it you tell me” you tell him, attracted to taste parts you haven’t before from your beloved husband. He giggles and gets ready, he certainly wants to experience your tongue right there.

And he definitely does. At first you barely touch his rim with the tip of your tongue, just to tease him, to delight yourself with whimpering sounds you have never heard coming from him.

And when you have had enough of him being on the verge of tears for more, you go with your full tongue. Up, down, around and when it’s proper even a little in and out. And not only you give him an oral pleasure, but you accompany your licking and sucking with dick pumping.

The poor man almost scratches the walls, he can’t hold it for much longer. You have been stimulating with wetness delight his special spot, a place that has been so neglected all his life but, that just now has seen the light of pure hedonism.

“I’m gonna cum- babe I-“ he pleads, not sure if he wants you to keep going or to stop. You wouldn’t stop either way…

“Then come for me, my sweet delicious Rosi” you moan, muzzled by his anatomy while he keeps his cheeks separated and you keep jerking him off.

That night you both ended up cleaning the pantry, because the rimming was just the start… 😈

[xamaxenta]

If you get this, answer w/ three random facts about yourself and send it to the last seven blogs in your notifs. anon or not, doesn’t matter, let’s get to know the person behind the blog! <33333 (if u wanna, no pressure!)

‼️💕💕 thank you for the ask quin lets see if i have three fun facts to share

1. I have extremely good estimation skills, 95% of the time I can accurately calculate the amount of time it will take to do something, an activity or a chore or how much/quantity of a thing is i enjoy thinking about how long stuff takes ? Its not planning just a game i play like huh this could take 25 minutes and it does and its rly satisfying

2. Im great at cooking, i like following recipes perfectly the first time and then if my gf and i liked it the second time i make the same dish ill experiment with it and tweak what we thought could be changed about it, but i have one weakness, i cant make bechamel sauce i did it once successfully and tbh never again lol

3. Broke both my arms in quick succession as a kid, left arm first and within a week of that cast coming off i broke my right wrist 👍🏽 saw the same doctor for both and he was like fr? You missed me that much and now im like haha marcoace au… obvs Ace is an adult tho and not a kid

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #46

I spent all day today making moussaka! And I told you that I'd take pictures and write to you about it, and so here it is! Today is the day!! So I'm gonna get right to it!!

I started off by rinsing the eggplants and peeling the onions. I always put the papery outer layer and the first fleshy layer into the broth bag, for later use! My husband sliced the eggplants and cut the onions into coarse chunks. I can technically do it myself, but since he's not dyspraxic, he's a lot better at it than I am:

If it looks like a lot of eggplant, that's because it is a lot of eggplant, hahaha! But don't worry; they get a lot smaller once they're baked because the water evaporates out of them.

You have to arrange them on a cookie sheet like this, and then put them in the oven at 400 degrees Fahrenheit for a total of 30 minutes; you flip the slices over halfway through.

This part takes a while because my oven can fit only two cookie sheets at once, and then after they've been baked, I like to use the griddle to make the eggplant slices golden brown and crispy on the outside, like this:

Then, you get a bowl full of eggplant slices that are crispy on the outside, and deliciously gooey on the inside:

In between roasting batches of eggplant, I did the other steps. One of those steps is to use my handy-dandy veggie chopper to turn the onions and a few cloves of garlic into puree for the meat sauce!

I also zested and juiced the lemon; that's for the meat sauce, too!

Once the eggplant is all done, the next step is to cook the onions a little bit - but just a little bit. Then you'll set them to the side in favor of cooking up the ground lamb. Cooking the ground lamb will leave a lot of delicious rendered fat. So you'll scoop out the cooked lamb, and then finish cooking the onions in the fat; as the water from the onions evaporates, the resulting vacuum will cause the onions to soak the lamb fat right up!

After that, you start putting the sauce together. We will use the cans of diced and crushed tomatoes and 2 tablespoons of the tomato paste, and 2 tablespoons of the tomato sauce. We'll stir that up with the onions and the lemon zest and juice. Then we'll add a cup of red wine:

I gotta tell ya, wine in general is GROSS!! But it's really nice when it's used in cooking. A little bit of heat makes the nasty, bitter alcohol flavor dissipate quite nicely, and you're left with a vague sweetness and a weird (but not bad!) grape-ish flavor.

After you let it simmer so it can thicken a bit as the water evaporates, you add the seasonings:

This is parsley, oregano, cinnamon, allspice, and ground cloves! I didn't have thyme yet when I took this picture, but I fetched some later to use.

Anyway, the next step is to add the ground lamb to the sauce! The result is a very thick meat sauce! In this picture, you'll see the sauce and all the seasonings I used in it:

Here, we have our very thick sauce, seasoned with oregano, parsley, thyme, bay leaf, salt, pepper, cinnamon, allspice, and cloves. Yum, yum, yum!!

With the sauce and the eggplant slices ready, we can clear up some space by beginning to assemble the moussaka. You line a baking dish with some parchment paper, and then you put down a layer of eggplant slices:

You follow it up with a layer of meat sauce:

...And then you just keep alternating layers until you run out of eggplant slices and meat sauce. Easy peasy. I stuck it in the fridge once the layers were assembled. Then I began to work on the bechamel.

For that, it's a basic thing. You start with a roux and then you add a kind of cheese to it. I don't have easy access to kefalotyri, and I didn't feel like using parmesan or romano as a substitute, so I used that feta and that halloumi I bought yesterday.

Most feta cheese in my country uses cow's milk or goat's milk. The brand I like to get uses sheep's milk. And the halloumi made by this same brand uses a combination of sheep, goat, and cow milk. Both of them are VERY GOOD!! And it took all my willpower not to just snack on the cheese as I was trying to grate it, but I managed:

Once that was all set, I set it aside and then separated a couple of egg yolks away from some egg whites. I'll use the egg whites to try to make French-style tiramisu in the near future; it'll be good!! We need the yolks for the bechamel:

To begin a bechamel, you gotta add 120 grams of sifted flour to one stick of melted butter, really really slowly. The "slow" part is important, otherwise it gets really weird:

When it looks like the above image, that's when we add 3 and 3/4ths of a cup of milk. But again, this has to be done VERY slowly, or else instead of a velvety-smooth awesome sauce, you end up something lumpy and terrible. I made a LOT of lumpy and terrible sauces before I got the hang of it, hahaha!

Here's how it looks after one cup of milk is incorporated. You gotta drizzle it in slowly, a little bit at a time:

Here it is with 2 cups of milk added:

And here's how it looks after all of the milk is added. This is the part where we add in the egg yolks. We have to make sure that it's not too hot so that the egg yolks don't cook into hardened yellow masses upon contact with the sauce.

Then you add in the cheese. And yes, ALL of that cheese is going into the pot!! Because I am a cheese goblin!! It has been written!! It is known!! Bahahaha! 🤣

From there, you add in nutmeg and white pepper, a little bit at a time, until you can notice their flavors when you taste it. Here is the finished sauce! Isn't it beautiful? It's very, very thick, velvety, and delicious!

From there, we just dump it on our partially-assembled moussaka, it's fine! And the result looks like this:

(yes, we do get to eat whatever sauce is leftover in the pot!! it's delicious!! and if you were here, I'd share it with you, too!! and I'd give you the whisk - everyone should get to lick delicious things off a whisk at least once in their life!)

Anyway! So we take this and stick it in the oven at 350 degrees Fahrenheit until the top is all brown and toasty-looking! Here's how it turned out:

I've been on my feet making this and trying to keep my workspace clean since I woke up this morning, and goodness me, I'm very tired, and this rib injury makes my body hurt a lot, haha! Oh well. I managed to snag this picture of the sunset out of my window while waiting for this to bake. Here, maybe you'll like it:

...And that's the end of today's letter! Because I am thoroughly exhausted, hahaha! I can't wait to share this with my friends tomorrow!

...I really wish you could be here to try it. I know all the very practical and realistic reasons you can't, of course. But maybe somehow my wishes and all these delicious flavors will reach you anyway. Or not. Probably not, haha. But I'll hope for it nonetheless. Maybe something good will happen - if not for you, then maybe for someone else.

Please stay safe out there, okay? Please remember that there is moussaka and people in this universe who would make it for you. Please remember that you are loved and cared for. Please don't do anything that would cause you to be erased from your world. Lots of people need the light of your existence to keep on shining in the way that it does.

I'll write again tomorrow, okay?

Your friend, Lumine

[farm-witches-fic-recs]

Most joyous of Fridays to you, our farm witch friends!

The coven is so happy to be able to bring you our first round of May community recs. We hope that you will enjoy these reads and make sure to give the writers some love!

Blessed be!

=========================================

Before I Met You ( @dinnfameron​) “It’s 2008. David’s at his local bar in NYC feeling alone and unlovable when a very drunk curly-haired spring-breaking business student appears at his side. Dinnfameron’s account of the resulting conversation is excellent—it’s perceptive but still playful, and it’s sweet but not simple.”

Hungry (aworldofdreams) “This little fic is a masterclass in sensuous, even smutty, food-based metaphor and imagery. You will never look at bechamel sauce in the same light again. You will never look at an orange in the same light again. You will fan yourself, and then perhaps take a cool shower.”

Nothing burns like the cold (@wildxwired​) “I'm a not a crier, but I get weepy over this fic. Everything about it is perfect from Patrick's introspective hallucinations and the range of emotions to the utter relief at the end.” 

Spring Forward, Fall Back (The_Same_But_Different) “I love David trying to wrap his head around spring training.”

Show this town how to kiss these stars (doingthemost/@sarahlevys​) “The first of a beautifully written trio of Stevie/Ruth early relationship stories. A first date in NYC that ends with the strong implication that maybe this time, Stevie will win.”

Stride of Pride (NotTheLoveGuru) “It's a cute post-night at Stevie's fic.”

What Happened to You? (therapychicken) “This is a deep exploration of Patrick's and David's established canon relationship, circa Season 5. Patrick is taken off of the "perfect boyfriend" pedestal and the two of them have intensely serious and nuanced conversations about what it means to enact honesty, vulnerability, and reciprocity in a long-term relationship between adults, and in a lot of ways they're talking about the sharing of power in a way that is rare and beautiful. One of David's speeches late in this piece has stuck with me for years and I find myself thinking about it all the time. Great stuff.”

[prismartist]

life's no picnic ('til you make it one)

part 5.2 of to break bread, the series about soulbounds and food

Ao3

–––

The first thing Grian and Scar hear when they reach Box is wailing.

It's despairing and very loud, and Scar gives Grian a terrified look.

"On second thought, G, I don't think I want to meet them."

"We're here now Scar, we can't turn back."

Scar sighs. "You're right, you're right." He squares his shoulders and puffs out his chest, as if going into battle. He raises one of his crutches, furthering that image. "Onwards we go then! Let us save our friends from whatever is ailing them."

Grian rolls his eyes fondly, then refocuses on the door, pursing his lips. With a deep breath, he opens the door. 

BigB and Ren are sitting on the floor, openly sobbing. It’s a horrific crime scene, as surrounding them are the mangled corpses of pumpkins, bits and pieces of their flesh scattered around. The two dig spoons into their pumpkins with immense effort, grunting like cavemen. They look up as Grian and Scar enter, and gasp with relief as if they’d just seen angels descend.

"Grian!"

"Grian, Scar baby!" Ren stands up, effectively discarding his pumpkin, and outstretches his arms in a welcome gesture. "Welcome to our humble abode, dudes!"

"Please help us," BigB supplies weakly.

"Oh my gosh." Grian laughs nervously. "What happened?"

“Well—” Ren futilely kicks aside some of the pumpkin gore, which only succeeds in smearing their sinews across the stone, “—we were preparing our very yummy surprise meal for the picnic, but uhm-”

“Shucking pumpkins is harder than we thought,” BigB says, still trying to scoop out his pumpkin’s meat.

“Yeah, exactly.”

Grian doesn’t say anything for a bit, even as Scar turns to him and suggests cheerily, “Shall we leave them to it?”

“Wh…” Grian finally forces out in a strangled voice, “Why don’t you just boil it?”

A beat.

“...oh,” says Ren. “Yeah that would’ve been considerably easier.”

“Why didn’t we think of that, Ren?” BigB asks mournfully, bowing his head into his hollowed pumpkin as if to hide. Grian giggles at the sight.

“Grian, I’m beginning to judge your choice in soulmates.”

“What does that make you, then?” Grian snipes back at Scar.

“You didn’t even choose me, may I remind you.”

Grian drags a hand over his face. “Point taken.”

–––

With some help from Grian and Scar, graceful allies as they totally are, they chop up the remaining pumpkin and place them in a pot of water to boil. Scar takes extra measures in breaking Ren’s pumpkin clean in half with his bare hands. It’s clear he’s trying to show off, but admittedly, judging by how everyone gawks, it works. 

With the two new companions the process luckily passes by quickly. Ren laments his failed attempt at butter for the bechamel sauce, so Grian sympathetically offers his own, making Scar lament that they won’t have anything to slather on the bread. The pumpkins are skinned and mashed, cooked, and mixed with the sauce as the herring is prepared. All is mixed into the casserole dish (“How did you make such a nice platter?” exclaims Grian in disbelief, studying it closely as BigB smiles bashfully), covered with cheese and the puff pastry. Ren attempts to model bits of the pastry into the shape of a fish, which everyone admits looks pretty decent. They stick it into the oven, and wait.

“Sorry for the hassle,” BigB says to Grian as they plop down on the floor, rubbing the back of his neck. “If we hadn’t messed up we would be eating by now.”

“Yeah dudes, you didn’t have to help us. This is our half of the potluck!” Ren adds. 

“Nah, it’s really no problem.” Grian smiles and bumps his shoulder against BigB’s. “What are soulmates for?”

Scar narrows his eyes and pouts. “You stole that from me.”

“So what if I did?” Grian wraps an arm around BigB, who laughs, and sticks out his tongue at Scar. Addressing BigB once again, “Besides, I was impressed by the amount of pumpkin you did manage to scoop out.”

BigB grins. “I guess you like your soulmates strong, huh?”

Scar never passes up an opportunity to flex. “Clearly.”

“Okay, you don’t have to call me out,” Grian mutters, red blooming in his cheeks.

Once the pie is ready, Ren slips on two wool mittens and rubs his hands together eagerly, his tail wagging. He reaches into the oven, and brings out the dish with a flourish, showing it off to the others.

The fish decoration has… not survived, apparently. It’s seemed to have melted into a sad smooshed state, resembling more of a puddle than a fish. Ren makes an anguished sound as he clocks its unfortunate demise and BigB moves to comfort him. 

“Hey, at least it looks edible,” he says to Ren’s bowed head. He’s not wrong; the crust has turned a lovely golden brown and the savory scent doesn’t hint of any burning. 

“Yeah, that actually looks pretty good, Ren,” Grian says.

“I gotta say, there’s an awful lot of pastries in this picnic,” Scar pipes up. “We’re gonna be stuffed full of carbohydrates by the end of this.”

BigB smiles over at him. “I guess we should’ve coordinated a bit better then.”

“Hey, I wasn’t complaining! Besides, surprises are more fun anyway.”

“Can’t fault you for that.” 

BigB can’t help but notice the smile that spreads across Grian’s face.

–––

“Blue skiieeess~” sings Scar as they hike up the hill, “Blueee skiieesss, come ooouuuuut~”

“Singing isn’t going to change the weather, Scar.” Grian grunts. Overhead, the clouds blanket the sky in a murky gray.

“Well you never know.”

“I don’t mind it.”

“‘Course you don’t, B.”

“I mean, at least it isn’t sweltering.”

“And the song is rather catchy, if I may say so myself!” Ren says cheerfully. He then takes a deep breath. “Blue skies, come out,” he sings along.

“Good lord, there’s two now,” Grian mutters.

“Blue skiees~” 

“BigB, please, not you too.”

The singing continues even as they start to set up the picnic, Scar humming while he places down the blanket and Ren harmonizing (surprisingly well) as he sets down the leather bag containing the pie. BigB smooths out the blanket, juggling the plates and utensils he carries, and Grian follows, setting down the bag with the souffle, but not bringing it out. 

“No,” he says at the look on Scar’s face, “not until we’re done with the main course.”

“Well it looks like we don’t have much time to do that—” BigB gestures at the sky as he sets down the dishes, “—so we should hurry up and eat.”

Grian looks down at the dishes. “Did you guys really use the sugarcane to make paper plates?”

BigB flushes. “We thought it would be convenient,” he explains. “And we haven’t really tried making them before, so-”

“And we thought it would be appropriate, you know, for a picnic!” Ren says with a grin.

Grian sighs. “I guess, but please use something like wood next time and not the incredibly sparse resource.”

“Whatever you say, dude!”

Scar removes the cloth off the herring pie with a flourish, and everyone eagerly tucks in. Even with the clouds looming overhead and the occasional chilling sweep of the breeze, the atmosphere is peaceful as the group digs into the warmth of the meal. 

Perhaps a bit too soon the herring pie is reduced to crumbs and satisfaction sitting at the bottom of their stomachs, and Grian finally brings out the crude tin holding the souffle. Scar claps in excitement, and everyone leans forward eagerly as Grian moves to remove the cloth on top of it.

Drip.

Ren’s ears suddenly perk up. 

“Uhh, did you feel that?”

Scar blinks. “Feel what?”

Drip.

BigB’s eyes widen. “Oh no.”

Drip drip drip.

“Oh,” says Scar. “Uh oh.”

Drip drip drip drip drip-

“Pack up, we got to go!” Grian shoves the souffle back into the bag, and the rest spring into action, quickly picking up the supplies as the torrent of rain starts to pour down on the soulmates. 

"Where should we go? Box is too far away," BigB says.

"Red Velvet Keep should be closer," replies Grian, drawing the string close. "Follow us."

They dash through the forest as quick as they can to the bright red walls of the Red Velvet Keep. Though the trees somewhat alleviate the downpour, the rain soaks through the clothes and pitter-patters on their skin. Despite this, if there were any passers-by present (which there was, in the form of a very befuddled Pearl), they would hear that the rain was unable to drown out the sound of laughing traveling through the woods.

–––

"Scar, it's a bit weird that you have towels made out of panda fur," BigB says, holding one of said products.

Grian spreads his arms in exasperation. "That's what I said!"

"Excuse you!" Scar gasps in offense. "I would like you to know that Jellie towels are 100% ethically sourced and very painstakingly made. They're great quality as well!"

"I dunno about you guys, but this is drying me out fantastically," Ren says, muffled by the towel over his face.

"Thank you, Ren! See, there's a man who knows his stuff."

"Why were they ever enemies again?" Grian murmurs to BigB, who chuckles and shrugs.

"Well, now that's out of the way…" Ren emerges from the towel, his hair cartoonishly poofing up. BigB and Grian snort at the sight. "Can we please resume with our picnic business, dudes?"

“Yeah!” Scar says, and BigB sees two pairs of puppy eyes targeted at Grian. “Since the main course is finished…”

Grian smirks, and loosens the string on the bag once again. “Well, as promised.”

He reveals the golden pastry to the exhausted group, who all immediately grab their piece and indulge. The dessert is a nice light dish compared to the pie, and predictably, the souffle is also gone within minutes. 

“You should make more next time we do one of these,” BigB says.

“Yeah, Scar also made that point.” Grian swallows the last of his piece. “It’s kind of a pity.”

BigB blinks. Grian seems deflated, an unusual mood on him. He glances around, noticing everyone else’s rapidly emptying plates. 

“Hey,” he says softly, bumping his shoulder against Grian’s, and Grian looks at him. “I’m really glad you did this for us. You and Scar.” Scar perks up at the mention of his name, and BigB smiles at them both. “It’s really nice considering the uh… the complications.”

“Yeah, it’s been the most terrific time.” Ren flops down and lays his head down into BigB’s lap, grinning. “Even if we got all wet and stuff, it was still super fun. And if we can’t do this again, I mean, it’s great that we got to do it in the first place, right?”

“And we’re not done yet. I mean…” BigB gestures outside, his smile growing wider. “It’s not like we can leave.”

Grian and Scar share a look and a wordless conversation, before all of a sudden Scar straightens up and declares, “That’s it, we’re taking you hostage!”

“Uh- what?”

“I think what Scar means is, we’re having a sleepover.” Grian looks back at BigB, and softens. “It’s like you said, you can’t leave, and judging by how heavy the rain is, you can’t for a while.”

“And you’ve been the sweetest picnic companions—I mean, I don’t know why I was against having you as a secret soulmate in the first place, B.”

“I mean, I’d say you had valid reasons,” Ren mutters, and BigB rolls his eyes. Ren then gets up, and meets Scar at his level. “Then it’s decided. Tonight shall be the night of all nights, the sleepover night to solidify our friendship!”

Grian rests his head on BigB’s shoulder. “I rather like the sound of that,” he says.

BigB leans his head against Grian’s, and looks out at the peaceful forest outside, the sunlight peeking through the clouds. He sighs serenely, just before realizing.

“...uh, guys?”

“Hm?”

“The rain’s clearing up.”

“Oh.”

A beat.

“...still sleepover night, though, right dudes?”

“Oh.” BigB wraps his arms around his soulmates, and draws them close. “Definitely.”

[clairelutra]

just cooking things things i've picked up as i've started having fun in the kitchen again:

best rule of thumb for improv food-in-a-pan is "have i had a dish that combined these two things? did i like it?" answer to both should be yes, but if the first question is a no, refer to the second rule of thumb.

second rule of thumb is the nose knows. give everything a big sniff -- if it smells good together, you're (probably) golden. you're not necessarily not golden if you don't like what it smells like in the meantime, but you should probably know what you're doing otherwise in that case.

a bechamel sauce is made from a ratio of one tablespoon of butter to one tablespoon of flour to one cup of milk (multiply or divide as needed). melt the butter in the bottom of the pan, then add the flour and whisk for ~1-2 minutes, until it's light and bubbly, then add the milk and whisk continuously until it boils. turn off the fire AS SOON AS IT BOILS, or it'll curdle. (the texture will be ruined; it'll still be safe to eat, though, so if you're not aiming for perfection and fine with a little grittiness, you're fine.) from there, you can add spices/herbs (parsley, chives, oregano, thyme, dried onion, garlic powder are some of my faves; turmeric (yellow) and paprika (red) can be used for color too if you want), salt/pepper, grated cheese, whatever. a extremely basic cream sauce that can be used in casseroles, over pasta, over veggies, that kind of thing.

if you're breading something (that thing where you dunk meat/veggie/whatever in liquid and then breadcrumbs), coat the thing you're dunking in flour or cornstarch before dunking it in the liquid. the covering will hold together and stick way better.

if you want to thicken a sauce, both flour and cornstarch work. flour is grittier and opaque. cornstarch is smoother and gelatin-like. flour goes in the liquid just as is, is whisked through, and then stirred gently until it thickens. cornstarch needs to be stirred into roughly an equivalent amount of water before adding it to a hot sauce, and only thickens once the sauce is at a boiling point. the amount will depend on how thick you want it, how much sauce you have, etc. but a tablespoon of flour to a cup of liquid or a tablespoon of cornstarch to two cups of liquid are very roughly the sorts of ratios you're looking at.

chicken is juicier if you cook it quickly at high heat. red meat gets tender if you cook it slowly at a lower heat.

"deglazing" a pan is where you add a liquid after cooking something else (usually meat, but not necessarily) and use it to dissolve all the crusted/caramelized bits stuck to the bottom of the pan, which then can be used as (or used to make) a really nice sauce. common liquids are red or white wine or beef/chicken/vegetable stock. i like adding a little bit of butter at that stage too, but that's a me thing. doing it with, say, mushrooms or tomatoes (or both) is entirely possible, because they have a lot of liquid to give.

on adding wine to sauces or soups:

it adds a really lovely richness to them, do recommend.

the cheapest wine you can find (like the stuff that's <$5) is usually just fine.

MAKE SURE TO LET IT COOK OFF FOR AT LEAST A FEW MINUTES.

and this is by no means a hard-and-fast rule, but my inclinations are towards red wine with red meat and white wine with white meat.

---

worcestershire sauce. to not underestimate its Sheer Deliciousness. add to things like marinara or meatballs or meatloaf or gravy. amazing.

tofu can be pressed just fine without a press, just wrap it in paper towels or kitchen towels and put it between two plates orcutting boards, and weight the top half with like... whatever's lying around. cans from the pantry are traditional.

also, dunking slices of tofu in soy sauce and sprinkling it with garlic powder before frying it for a few minutes in a bit of oil has gotten voracious rave reviews in my household, so make of that what you will.

on garlic:

if you have a garlic press, not peeling the garlic before you put it in there will make it much less painful to clean out at the end -- just pull the husks free and clean from there.

if you need to chop it, smash the unpeeled cloves under the flat of your knife (or under a glass or whatever) and it'll make just fishing the husks out much easier -- chopping can happen from there

minced garlic is sold in jars and is much less strong than fresh garlic, but can be used just as well (i usually double or triple what's asked for -- it's not quite as delicious, but it works). if you're using a recipe that says to 'cook until fragrant', skip that step. with minced garlic, all you'll have are little rocks of Burned Bits.

they also sell pre-peeled garlic in most of the grocery stores i've been to. just putting that out there.

---

above all, cooking is the process of designing an experience that you and/or others will enjoy, and gain necessary fuel from. all of this is VERY much down to preference and what sorts of experiences you like. aim for that, and take everything else with a grain of salt.

[aesopsharpmybeloved]

Headcanons

List of headcanons I have for Father Paul Hill and being in a relationship with him. Some of these are discarded stories, oops. If anything doesn't make sense and/or the grammar's wonky, I'm sorry, I started writing it last night after I came home from a friend's house, where I was served, uh, spicy beverages.

gif by @hamish-linklater-btc​

Headcanons

✞  Paul is touch starved - while his parents loved him deeply, they never really showed it through hugs or other physical affection other than an embrace on his birthday or when he came home after being gone for some time. Therefore physical contact really gets to him. His friends in seminary used to tease him about it a little every time he got overwhelmed just because they all hugged him shortly each time they saw each other. Always in a good fun though.

His mood though still improves considerably every time someone touches him in a fond kind of manner. Wade's soft slap upon his shoulder, Annie petting his arm in a motherly kind of way, Ed's firm handshake every time they meet and Riley sometimes nudging him with his elbow - it all just brings a wide smile to his face, because he feels loved and accepted.

Most of all though, it's the touches he receives from you - when you put your warm hands on his cheeks to get him to look up at you after he's had a bad day, when you card your fingers through his hair to calm him down, when you hold his hand enthusiastically to lead him somewhere, or nearly shyly, when it's you who requires his comfort. And then later, when you touch him everywhere you can, depending on the situation and company you're in. The comfort of your arms when you hold him close, his head upon your chest, stomach or lap, is overwhelming, even after weeks or months. The first time you held his head close to your own heart, enfolding him in your heavenly presence just to comfort him nearly brought tears to his eyes and he still feels so utterly at peace when you hold him like that.

✞ He's not a total newbie when it comes to cooking. Mind you, he's not winning some telly competition anytime soon, but he can cook some basic meals and is brilliant at following orders. His pancakes and his sandwiches are absolutely to die for.

He likes cooking with you, as it always means flirty banter and a lot of teasing. He gets very playful and as much as you try to chase him off with a spatula because you 'really need to stir the bechamel sauce' , he still always comes back to tease you again. One time you actually managed to nearly ruin a very simple meal and, while still good, you knew you could have done better. "I hope you're happy," you said to him, no hard feelings in your tone. He had the audacity to wink at you, grin and shovel a very big bite into his mouth. "Worth it," he said.

✞ Father Paul could get very mischievous and cheeky, and that was always a lot of fun, but he got very shy too. Everything sexual was a big unknown to him, so you had to guide him quite a bit at first. He had a very healthy appetite, good stamina and was a quick learner but even after a few weeks of the two of you regularly engaging in sexual acts, he still didn't quite know how to go about it when he got in the mood. And did he get in the mood. It really was a little awkward at first, especially when he'd grind his hips into your own and then just sort of stand there with red cheeks and his eyes turned down, as if waiting for his verdict. But then, gradually, it got better.

After some time, he'd get way more daring, making his intention known through sweet talk right against your ear, and really, how could you ever say no? Because once the two of you set your boundaries for things you are willing to try and things you absolutely wouldn't, he was getting better and better each time in bringing you pleasure and making you feel adored. Worshipped even. One does not simply pass up on that.

✞ Ever since he came to Crockett Island, Paul acquired many friends, among his parishioners and outside of them. He's able to share a part of himself with everyone on the island, but it's only you with whom he shares his complete self. Little by little, he'd uncover his life story to you and you'd do the same, keeping no secrets. You'd tell him about your previous boyfriends and why you were no longer with them. And while he was utterly without bodily experience before you came into his life, he never once judged you. The only thing he, selfishly, wished for was that he was your last lover. The final one. That despite all of the circumstances going against you two, you'd be able to spend your lives together. He'd never openly say so, though.

✞ Paul's scalp is sensitive. You'd find out accidentally. Carding your fingers through his soft hair was nothing new to you, but one time you accidentally tugged, as you were in heaps of pleasure. You wouldn't ever forget that; the way his head fell back, even though you only pulled at his hair a little bit. His high pitched moan was forever written in your memory.

✞ Paul adores your voice. It can make him feel all sorts of emotions. When you know he needs comfort and gentleness above everything else, you read to him. Anything really. Be it Lord of the Rings, The Princess Bride or even The Bible itself, as long as you read it to him gently and quietly, he will fall into restful sleep. When a song you know and like starts playing on the radio (or record player), you sing. And he wants to dance. And he sings too. He doesn't really dance that well, and sometimes his tones are vastly different from the music, but you still love to hear him sing and dance with him. And he utterly adores hearing you sing - even if your tones are sometimes even more different than his own. And when you talk about your interests and your knowledge on them, he just listens, awed with the entirety of you. His idea of heaven now is with his head in your lap, your fingers combing through his hair, while you talk to him softly, burning love accompanying your every word.

✞ He’s got a bit of a problem with the secrecy of your relationship. While he's perfectly aware that he's risking his entire career by being 'too close' to you, he simply cannot help himself. During the summer and, more importantly, the "Great Crockpot Barbecue Party" he was absolutely seen holding your hand more often than not. He wouldn't openly tell anyone, but sometimes he simply cannot pretend you're just one of his parishioners.

However, later in the evening, when everyone's had a few drinks and they're no longer "reliable witnesses", he'd dance with you. In front of everyone still there. Then he's able to whisper into your ear and kiss you soundly without anyone else left really noticing him doing so. You'd always remember your first slow dance; Nothing's Gonna Hurt You Baby, by Cigarettes After Sex

Back then, the two of you were attending Erin's party, only a few short weeks before she was to give birth to her daughter. The window was open and you could hear her conversation with Riley Flynn.

"So you found them? What are they doing?... Wait, I don't actually wanna know."

"They're just slow dancing," Erin replied. "Kissing a little bit maybe…. They're doing out there what everyone else does here." If Erin said anything else after that was unknown to you, as you were way too preoccupied by engaging the priest's tongue in a battle for dominance outside.

✞ He's got a taste for hot cider on cold, stormy nights. Combine that, lots and lots of candles and a good book and you've got a happy priest. Best enjoyed in a pillow fort you built in your living room, just for the fun of it.

✞ Paul has the opposite of a green thumb. He cannot keep a plant alive, not even the 'unkillable' plants. He'd either water it too little, or too much, or he'd forget about it and then attempt to fix the damage by pouring an entire pitcher of water into the pot. Everytime he actually bought a house plant with the intention to 'do it right this time', he ended up bitterly throwing the yellowed remains with rotten roots into the trash.

✞ He's not that much of a morning person. Of course, his day starts early as he's got mass to serve, but on the rare occasions he's got a free day there's no getting him out of bed before 11. And now that he's got a deliciously warm soft body next to him in bed, it's even harder to leave.

✞ The priest is ticklish, particularly on his sides and feet. You noticed once that he shied away from you when you stroked down the sides of his torso with just your fingers. When you asked him if he was ticklish, and he (naively) not only said that he was and even told you where, you gained a new hobby - tickling the poor man until he was tearing up from laughter. The best things in life really are free.

Hi, i hope that wasn’t too terrible. If you wanna, you can check this thing and the entire series out on AO3 I live and breathe and write for reviews <333

[vacantgodling]

🍕 ❤️ 💚 🧠 FOR HYA MY DARLINGGGGGG and mayhapeth toph my beloved

KORBIE MY BELOVED ORB THANK YOU 💛💛💛

🍕 - What is their favorite food?

i actually just learned this about hya, he’s a red meat + white sauce kind of guy. think about steak fondue or steak bechamel type of energy. he really likes umami and savory flavors in general.

for toph it’s mint flavored anything. mint juleps are his favorite cocktail, mint chocolate or mint chocolate ice cream is his favorite dessert, he just loves Mint. he even uses mint cologne LMAO.

❤️ - What is one of your OC’s best memories?

this one is tough for hya frfr. i honestly don’t think he has his best memory until after canon and he and amon fly the coop and get wedded. and it probably isn’t anything grandiose—just getting a full night’s sleep and waking up to find everything is still at peace and amon’s there beside him. he would not admit to this shit under pain of death but he really cherishes it lol.

for toph, it’s definitely when dolley (nix and trisha’s baby) is born which happens like 3/4 of the way through the story. it’s really emotional for him bc if he hadn’t met trish and nix, dolley wouldn’t even Be here (to;dr trish almost died in a car accident and toph showed nix his demon form to save her) and so there’s something very precious about that to him. he’s the first person who gets to hold her after the parents ofc and he’s just so awestruck haha. dolley’s always gonna have scary uncle toph wrapped around her finger lmaooo.

💚 - What is your OC’s gender identity and sexuality?

hya is troibemme (nb). his sexuality is. complicated. he’s not aroace (neither of us would call him that tho some will definitely headcanon him that way, i already know) but he’s just extremely picky. he doesn’t quite love labels, but i think if i HAD to classify him it would be gay with a Huge asterisk. amon is literally the only person he’s ever been attracted to, even in slum aus where he’s arguably more of a normal person. like amon just does it for him and that’s it pff.

toph is a cis guy (tho being a demon makes his relationship to gender funny cuz he’s like the hell? about it) and he’s extremely bi. he does have a preference for men tho. he and nix are similar where he’d like a woman to overpower him and bc he’s a demon that’s very rare to find. with guys he’s more about being in the lead and so it’s easier for him to cultivate relationships he likes in that regard lol.

🧠 - What do you like most about the OC?

i went on a whole rant about hya already but i can do another one. i really really like his appearance. that sounds really shallow and kinda horny at first, and it is, technically, but i more like the fact that hya puts in such EFFORT for his appearance. i don’t think ive ever had an oc until him who was so genuinely concerned with grooming and keeping themselves to a standard of what they wanted to look like and then doing the work to craft that visage. obvs if i bring it back to myself it’s the translation of my desire to want to be more confident WANTING to look however i want to look (esp when it comes to gender) vs trying to be “convenient” for others and not making a big deal about it. i could say more but yahhh.

dude i love everything about toph (he was actually my first biggest obsession oc but then a lot of stuff happened and then i made hya and ya see where i am now) but i love how he’s crass. making pretty boys who are crass (gestures to hya) is my favorite thing but the thing that really separates hya from toph is the fact that toph is so straightforward about both himself and his feelings and he doesn’t give a shit what anyone thinks about it. when i think about his old story before LR, he and hya were way more similar bc #traumabaybee but when i made LR i did kinda kick out a lot of that old baggage and he got more confident and more loud and more sure of himself and he’s GLOWING BABYYYY. i love him so much 😭

[spooniechef]

Lasagne (1-2 spoons)

Another one that serves well for both your “batch cooking” needs and your “stick it in the oven for awhile without doing much else to it” needs is lasagne. I like lasagne but had never made it myself; gluten-free ready-meal lasagne exists but is too expensive, so I gave it up for awhile after discovering the gluten intolerance issue. Still, I was interested enough in trying to make my own that I asked for a baking dish for Christmas a couple of years ago, and is part of why I started getting into the concept of batch cooking to help save spoons in the first place. Lasagne’s hearty, has all the food groups you need, and keeps well in the freezer, so it seemed like a good way to start.

I’m going to start with some notes, because there’s a couple of different ways to approach lasagne sauces. You can just buy the stuff in jars, but while I recommend that for the white sauce (bechamel sauce is a pain in the ass), the red sauce in jars is never quite as good. So here’s a rough approximation of my recipe for bolognaise sauce, since it’s going to be a key component here.

Here’s what you’ll need:

1 packet ground beef (not too fatty, but not too lean either)

1 large onion, chopped

Spices to taste (I generally use paprika, chilli powder, celery salt, garlic pepper, and seasoned salt)

1/2 zucchini (or courgette if you live on my side of the Atlantic), quartered

1 packet button mushrooms, sliced

1 can / packet passatta (if you can’t find passatta, just get a can of chopped tomatoes and use a blender / hand mixer to get the right consistency)

2 tablespoons tomato puree

3-6 cloves garlic, minced

1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce

1 tablespoon steak sauce (A1 works best, but any barbecue sauce will do)

1 tablespoon soy sauce

1/2 teaspoon tabasco sauce

1 beef stock cube

Pepper, basil, oregano, sage, thyme to taste

Quick note on the herbs - I'm generally talking about fresh herbs in those situations. Another thing I did when I got my diagnosis was start an herb garden on my balcony and windowsills. I highly recommend it for the dedicated foodie - even those of us with limited spoons. I’ll go into why in another entry, and show just what can be accomplished with limited spoons and a north-facing apartment in a country famous for being overcast a lot. But for those who don’t have an herb garden, use about a half-teaspoon each of dried or a tablespoon or so of the mixed Italian herb blends you can buy and that should be fine.

Here’s what you do:

Spice the meat to taste; in a large, deep frying pan, cook the meat and onion until the beef is mostly browned and the onions are transparent

Add garlic, mushrooms and zucchini; heat for 1-2 minutes

Add everything else; stir thoroughly so everything is fully mixed

If you have one, put a lid on the pan; let simmer on medium-low heat for at least 20 minutes

The stock cube gives the sauce a nice bit of earthy richness, and the various sauces give it a bit of depth and kick - all of it acting as a complement to the beef. If you’re a vegetarian, just leave out the beef and the beef stock cube and use the entire courgette and another packet of button mushrooms.

This is good as a batch-cooking staple because it keeps well, freezes well, and can be used either just as a standalone pasta sauce, as the sauce for a pasta bake, or as the red sauce for a lasagne. Because it keeps so well, you don’t even have to decide on which right away. But for the sake of the rest of this post, lasagne.

Here’s what you’ll need:

1 can white sauce (otherwise known as bechamel; if you want to make it yourself, you’re a braver person than I am)

Red sauce (see above, or use your own variation, or just a jar of the store-bought stuff in a pinch)

Little bit of oil or butter

1 packet lasagne sheets

1 packet cheese (cheddar or mozarella) to top

This becomes a one-spoon recipe if your red and white sauces are pre-made, one way or the other. It’s a two-spoon recipe if you’re making bolognaise for it fresh on the day. I figure trying to make your own white sauce would bring it up to three spoons, which is why I don’t advise it.

Here’s what you do:

Preheat oven to about 355F (180C, 160C fan assist, gas mark 4)

Grease your baking dish on all sides and along the bottom (this will stop things sticking to the baking dish and make serving and cleaning easier)

Coat the bottom of the baking dish with a layer of the red sauce; cover with a layer of lasagne sheets; spread a layer of white sauce over that

Keep alternating red / noodle / white for about three layers (that should see you to the end of the jar of white sauce); make sure that the top layer is completely covered by the white sauce

Top the entire thing with a layer of cheese

Bake for 45 minutes or until the top is bubbling and lightly browned

Just one note this time, and it’s about the same as the one I gave about the chicken broccoli pasta bake - if you’re using dairy-free cheese, you probably won’t get the same bubbling and browning as you would with regular cheese. You should still take it out of the oven at about the 45 minute mark.

So there you go - two recipes for the (nonexistent) price of one - pasta sauce and lasagne. Depending on your preferred portion size, the lasagne should make 4-6 servings, and again, it keeps well and freezes well, so it’s good even if you only have yourself to cook for.

[magicalrocketships]

tagged by @janinaduszejko

relationship status: this soul is an independent one, I like living by myself.

fav color: look, on the one hand I always want to DROWN in a really dark green, but I've also spent the last couple of months being OBSESSED with that kind of desert art duo of pink and pale blue teamed with a white or dark green (think Miami track colours for those people who can follow that specific thought process through, or the kind of colours you get if you google palm springs desert art).

song stuck in ur head: Let Me Drown by Orville Peck / Dwight and Duley by Cris Williamson (at first it was admiration // he found a friend in something less than good // he comes on the regular // he comes on the regular now) - I think it's actually a song about a horse during lockdown but as no lyrics exist on the internet for it then I'll just make my own assumptions thank u

last song u listened to: Funeral by Phoebe Bridgers

3 fav foods: Look, I like pretty much everything so narrowing it down is hard but Ken Hom has a beef green curry with aubergine in his old Ken Hom Cooks Thai cookbook and it's by far the best green curry I've ever had outside a restaurant, so. That. There's a place near me that does a breakfast bao, which is basically a sausage patty and egg and hash brown and sriracha in a bao and I don't want to throw down the location pin too specifically but if you know, you know. And my mum's lasagne with her bechamel sauce is my favourite thing to eat and it's always my first choice for my birthday meal (however close that falls to my actual birthday).

last google: um. well. before sriracha so I could figure out how to spell it, it was 'anatomical penis diagram' for this Max/Daniel fic I'm writing (don't ask), except my unexpected learning was that dicks have a muscle called the bulbospongiosus muscle, and -- aside from sounding like a pokemon -- I didn't know THAT existed before, so we've all learned something today.

dream trip: Right now I am too sick to travel, which sucks, particularly as I have a LOT of air miles from some judicious use of an air miles credit card for the whole of lockdown + beyond BUT the fantasy would be a) come hang out with friends in America again, it's been too long, and too many plans got put on hold years ago, b) some ridiculous train journey out of a mystery novel, like the Orient Express or whatever, some fancy sleeper cabin where porters carry my luggage about, and c) I'd love to go back to Dubrovnik, I loved it there even though i was very kidney-sick through that whole trip and should probably have been at home in hospital (jazz hands). That trip was years and years ago. It would be nice to go back (less sick this time). And like a million more trips because the world outside is fascinating.

anything i want right now: Be less unwell would be nice (and obvious) but other than that, the sky outside is SO pink and pretty right now, super lovely sunset. Unfortunately no one told me that moving so close to the sea would mean you had to wash your windows so fucking often because of the salt build up, so I'm looking at this incredible sunset through the grainiest, blurriest window. Magically salt-free windows. That's an achievable one at least.

tagging @easterwings (because I owe them an email and this might remind me to actually press send), @astorytotellyourfriends, and @allwaswell16, my goblin buddy.

[doggiedyke]

Okay. So the homie wants lasagna for birthday dinner and apple cobbler for birthday confection.

I gotta make the ragu first because that can sit on a low simmer forever. And if I gotta take it off the heat at any point that's fine, it won't form a skin like the bechamel and it won't get gummy like pasta so as far as the lasagna goes this is the only part I can make ahead.

So once the ragu is simmering, I'm gonna basically make the whole apple pandowdy, short of actually baking the damn thing. This is to let the flavors develop in the ragu while I work on something else. Pandowdy isn't exactly the same as cobbler, I'd say it's the halfway point between pie and cobbler, so it's a bit more effort than the average "throw everything into a baking dish and cover it with crumbles" kinda cobbler but takes less perfection than pie. Pop it in the fridge so that I can finish the lasagna

After that, all we really gotta do is assemble lasagna and bake, so I'm gonna boil the lasagna noodles and make a quick bechamel sauce while those boil. This is the tricky bit, since the bechamel HAS to be smooth and velvety. Having grainy bechamel is gonna make this much less enjoyable, so I have to carefully add the milk in a slow trickle. Which is why it's best to do this while something low effort like water boiling is happening.

Right before the bechamel finishes up I'm gonna have to drain the lasagna and get it into an ice bath so it doesn't keep cooking, might have to enlist some help for this one but once they're out of the ice bath I gotta get em tossed in some oil so they don't stick to each other so bad. And the bechamel needs constant stirring for fear of burning it or having it break. After that it's a matter of assembly. Butter the baking dish, then put ragu so the bottom doesn't burn, then pasta, ragu, mozz and parm, bechamel, repeat. Pasta, ragu, mozz/parm, bechamel. Pop it in the oven

After it comes out of the oven let it set for 5 minutes or so, else it'll be runny. Then I'm gonna move the oven rack down, crank up the heat and bake the apple pandowdy while the family eats lasagna. It takes long enough to cook that by the time it's done it should be dessert time.

Then it's showtime! "Dowdying" the crust is a fun little spectacle I think, it really looks like you're trying to ruin the damn thing but cutting it up and mixing the filling with the crispy crust is part of the experience and adds to the texture.

Then collapse because that's SO MUCH COOKING to do today. Damn. Anyhow time to get ingredience

[crowleycoded]

Gina's Mac and cheese (ish) recipe

*2-3 cups of shredded cheese. Combo, all one, more than that, less than that I don't care. How cheesy you want it?(tn I used like half marbe half extra old white ched)

*milk (2 cups? I just poured it's gonna be a consistency thing anyway)

*butter (the real shit if you wanna do this RIGHT. And also salted duh)

*flour (again this is an eyeball thing for me. If you really want you can look up a basic roux recipe that's all this is it's the base to a bechamel sauce fancy words for fat and flour) idk ill talk about this more when we get there. Trust.

*flavouring accoutrements (garlic powder, mustard, chipotle powder, salt, pep. This is your world I'm just teaching you how to live in it)

*parmesan of choice

*small onion

*half a pack of bacon

*bread heels, like. 2 or 3, whatever you have. (unless you own your own breadcrumbs already. If not imma teach you to make em right here right now)

*noodles of choice. No I won't tell you how much because we all know nobody actually knows that shit.

STEP ONE: MISE EN PLACE

Prep time, baby. First off, oven on 300, and a pot of water on to boil the noods. Onion? Dice it tiny as fuck. Bacon? Fry it up, crispness is At your discretion. Bread? Slap it on a cookie sheet and throw it in that hot oven for like. 5 ish minutes. You're not toasting it you're just drying it out. (if you plan this in advance you can simply leave them out to dry morning of but I don't roll like that). Once your bacon is cooked, take it out and drain the grease out of the pan. Pop in some butter (garlic butter if you're really vibin) and those diced onions. Cook that shit on like medium low until they're a good golden colour, almost starting to crisp up. Take the pan off the heat and let it be.

STEP TWO: MAKE THE TOPPING

(but first put your noodles in the boiling water if you haven't already. Also salt and some oil in there pls) In a food processor or a blender (if you don't have these, use a knife and go the fuck to town) blitz your dried bread, a good spoonful of your fried onion, and your cooled and degreased bacon strips until pulverized. Dump in the amount of parm you feel is correct and blitz again. You're gonna use this as topping. If you feel you've made too much don't worry. I have a solution later to come. Now put the oven up to 350.

-at this point I recommend you go no further until your noodles are cooked, drained, and run under cold water to STOP THEM COOKING.

STEP THREE: GET DAT SAUCE

Alright now for the only really intimidating part. The roux. First off you're gonna take like 2 cups of milk and pour it into the pan with your onion and put that on about a 5. You wanna get your milk warming up and this way you get all the pan goodies. If you're using mustard, throw about a tablespoon or two into that pan too while you're at it.

Now in a good saucepan, (Big Pot) throw in like. 2/3 cup of butter at least. At least. Use more than you think you need that's the thing here. Melt it up. Once it's melted and started to bubble, toss in flour. Start with like. Less than half a cup? While you do this, whisk like a madman. Don't add more flour till your flour you have is combined. If it gets to look doughy and thick you've added too much flour. Easy fix, more butter. This isn't healthy it's Mac and cheese. Whisk it up and it should be less of a dough and more like a batter consistency. Continue to cook and whisk on medium high until this turns a nice golden colour and thickens to a paste. Now take that pan of milk and onion and stuff and throw that in the pot, along with any spices or seasonings now. (I used chipotle powder and seasoning salt, and garlic powder). Now WHISK SOME MORE we don't want no flour lumps. It's gonna get thick. You're fine. Add more milk if you're worried, and also turn it to low.

Once that's smooth, you get that cheese in there. Get it melted. Fuck yeah.

STEP FOUR: AVENGERS ASSEMBLE.

Now. Once your cheese is melted, we are at prime time. Remember when I said I had a solution if you had too many breadcrumbs made? Throw all the extra in here, leave enough to coat the top before baking. Now you combine your noodles. Take your time, be thorough, and Fold don't STIR, dammit. From the bottom. Be patient. Once it's fully combined and beautful, you pour that shit into a buttered baking dish. Size determined by how much you made, I used a tall 9*9 pan. Spread your crumb topping on top evenly and bake on a low rack for 20 minutes or until topping is golden brown.