#and i was like texting my mom the whole time and panicking and my dad kept calling me

[cursingtoji]

hi ! for cliches could you do “fake dating” with gojo please ?

𝑭𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝑫𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈

cw: fluff, naoya ┊The Clichés ™

“You’re buying matcha Daifuku after this or I’ll never talk to you again” Satoru reminded when you were about to arrive the Zenin state.

“Stop complaining, I already told you I will. Besides, you’re gonna get free food here” you adjusted your kimono.

“Like I would eat anything made by a Zenin.”

“You really don’t know them if you think they cook their own food.”

Your family was invited to a wedding at the Zenin state, you didn’t actually knew the couple but your parents did, and they insisted that you had to go to meet Naoya cause ‘you two would be great together’. After that you panicked and told them you were in fact dating and you would only come if you could bring your boyfriend as a plus one.

Of course your parents were a bit disappointed but once you told them your boyfriend was no other than a Gojo they agreed.

“So, just stay by my side the whole time and in a few days I’ll just tell my parents we broke up, by then Naoya will be back in Tokyo so they won’t try to play cupid anymore.”

“What makes you think I wanna break up?” he placed his arm around your shoulders which you immediately pushed away.

“Listen—” you moved to stay in front of him, only then realizing how beautiful he looked with his dark kimono and no sunglasses, you picked the outfit yourself so neither him or you wouldn’t stand out, the less attention you got from the Zenins the better. That proved to quite impossible when your friend had the prettiest features anyone could wish for.

“I’m listening” he teased when a few seconds passed and you still haven’t said anything, “Like what you see?”

“I’m— Shut up” you moved back to his side lacing your arms together and passing through the gates.

Your parents met you there and you formally introduced Gojo to them. Satoru of course couldn’t help but being… Satoru.

“I can see where your daughter inherited such beauty” he directed to your mom who giggled, “Sir I heard so much about you and what a great father you are to my precious girl” you wanted to throw up. The one thing you told Satoru about your dad was his name.

“Excuse me, I need to find the toilet” you headed there trying to avoid any Zenin on your way. As soon as you were done your mother was waiting for you nearby with no one other than Naoya Zenin.

“Darling, come here. Have you met Naoya before?” you took a look at him. He was tall, no as much as Satoru, and surprisingly handsome, again no as much as Satoru. Yet even the slightest chance of becoming a Zenin made you want to run away as fast as you could.

“Pleasure” he said simply.

“Likewise” you replied dryly.

“I’ll leave you two to talk” your mother claimed and walked away. Unbelievable.

“Your mother told me you are with the Gojo kid. If you don’t mind me asking: how did you two met?” he seemed to be suspicious, could your mom have told him she wasn’t sure about the legitimacy of this relationship?

“Hm—“

“We met at Jujutsu Tech, during the joined event between Tokyo and Kyoto” Satoru appeared to your side magically. Naoya raised his brows slightly but didn’t really moved, like a human being teleported in front of him wasn’t really worth being surprised, “It was love at first sight” he placed his hand on your waist, Naoya’s eyes were fixed on your blushing face.

“You two are quite young to be in a serious relationship” he observed. Indeed both you and Gojo were in the last year of Jujutsu Tech, you in Kyoto and him in Tokyo. That weekend he miraculously was in Kyoto for a mission and as soon as he texted you that you already asked him to pretend to be your boyfriend for that event.

Naoya shouldn’t be more than a couple years older than you, but you knew his intentions were to disqualify your relationship, which was quite courageous since your pretended boyfriend was one of the strongest sorcerers.

“And you are quite old to not be a in a relationship, what’s the problem? Can’t find a submissive wife nowadays?” you lighted elbowed Gojo. Even though you didn’t like the Zenins your parents had business with them, so it was best to keep being friendly.

Naoya squinted his eyes, probably thinking ‘how dare him’. That conversation was getting dangerous, the last thing you wanted was to cause a conflict in a house full of powerful sorcerers.

“You should go, thanks for receiving us” you pulled Satoru before their cursed energy raised and everyone directed their attention at the three of you, “Seriously?” you asked when you were out in the garden with him alone.

“Sorry, sweets, I just can’t stand him and the way he was looking at you. The audacity of this guy…” you adjusted your hair to cover the heat on your face.

The truth was you and Satoru weren’t really close, you only hanged out together once a year during the days of the Kyoto x Tokyo event and the times when he was in Kyoto for a mission or you in Tokyo. That’s why Gojo was surprised when you called him to pretend to be your boyfriend and how could he say no when he has been crushing on you since day one?

“We don’t have to stay until the ceremony, I’ll tell my parents we got called for a mission—“ you felt Satoru’s warm hand on your cheek and he moved your face to look at him, as soon as you met his piercing blue eyes you lost track of your thoughts.

He slowly approached his face to yours and you closed your eyes in anticipation for a kiss. His hand held your face gently but his lips kissed you strongly and stood there for a few seconds, enough to make your heart beat faster than it did during a fight.

“He’s looking at us” Satoru whispered making you open your eyes, he was facing the windows of the house you just left.

“Oh” you couldn’t hold the disappointment in your voice.

“You’re right, you should go, the cursed energy in this house is overwhelming me” he massaged his temple.

“No one told you to come without your sunglasses.”

“Please, like you didn’t want everyone to see what a gorgeous set of blue eyes your boyfriend has” you giggled. ‘Your boyfriend’ was a tittle Satoru could get used to, “Besides I’ve been wanting to try something different” he pulled a black fabric from his pocket.

“Is that a mask?”

“Yeah, it covers more than the glasses and doesn’t wear me out so much, it looks weird though.”

“Can I?” you asked for the mask and he handed to you, “Bend down a little bit.”

Satoru flex his knees to be closed to your height, your fingers brushed his hair back before surrounding his eyes with the blindfold and tying it on the back, Gojo could still see the shape of your face due to the cursed energy and he smiled once he noted the darker shade around your cheeks.

“W—What are you smiling for?” you let go of the fabric adjusting his hair a little bit more.

“Nothing, sweets” he pinched your cheeks.

“Take a look” you pulled a mirror from your tiny purse and handed to him, the way you put his hair was way better than what he was doing before, now it didn’t seem like he was about to hit a piñata.

“What do you think?” he asked, it was weird not seeing his eyes but you knew he was going to feel better like that.

“It’s okay… you look nice” you murmured not wanting to give him too much to brag about.

“Haha you think i’m super handsome, don’t you?”

And he did it anyways.

“No, let’s go.”

“Time for matcha daifuku” he placed his arm around your shoulders and you didn’t pushed away this time.

[starry-hughes]

fake holiday date (luke hughes)

day 16 of star’s ficmas

luke hughes x reader

Luke hadn’t heard from you since he left for Tampa. When he left for Tampa for the Frozen Four, he decided to break up with you. It was a hard decision but he didn’t want it hard on you. But he was coming home to Michigan for the holidays and he got a text from you.

“I need help.”

Luke Hughes was still in love with you. He immediately called upon seeing your text. “Hello?” you answered. Your stomach was a pit of nerves. Even though you texted him, you still felt sick when he called. “Are you okay?” he panicked. “I need a date.”

He should have hung up but you were scrambling words together. “Luke, wait, please hear me out. I kinda never told my family we ended things, and they are expecting you at Christmas. Please, just like two hours.”

Luke was silent. He didn’t know what to say. You were still telling your family he was still your boyfriend? “Two hours. Just two hours,” Luke mumbled.

Luke and you were a good couple. Envied by friends, called mom and dad by his roommates, always together. You loved Luke and he loved you, it was the right person at the wrong time. Luke was your first love, the first boy you brought home.

He sat outside your house, in his car, wearing a red sweater. He told his parents and brothers he was seeing his friends. He texted you a simple “here.”

You exited the house and Luke sucked in a breath. You were still beautiful. Luke walked up, a secret gift folded in his pocket. “Thank you,” you whispered and leaned up and kissed his cheek. You pulled him into the house and he was met with the familiar warmth of your house. Memories of him and you on the couch watching movies or eating dinners with your family.

“Luke!” your mother greeted, wiping her hands on her apron. “Honey it’s been so long, I’m so sad (Y/N) didn’t bring you by the whole summer, she said you were training but was always seeing you.” Luke nodded and smiled. “I’m sorry I haven’t been around, missed you guys,” Luke lied.

You had coached Luke, saying he was so busy with training and that you still saw him over the summer, saying that you even went with the boys to see the game in Detroit. “How’s the season going?” your dad questioned. Your parents, aunts and uncles, cousins, and grandparents, and you and Luke eventually sat at the table for dinner.

Luke didn’t need to do it, but he placed his hand on your thigh, the two of you were a perfect couple. Your family all bought the act. After dinner, Luke even helped clean up before you dragged him up to your bedroom.

It was the same as the last time he saw it. Even your pictures of you and him still were hanging, probably to further your lie. Your stuffed animal sat on your bed and he smiled. “Thank you for coming, I didn’t think you’d actually answer my text.”

“I wanted to get away from Jack and Quinn anyway, they were annoying me,” Luke joked. “Why didn’t you ever tell your family?” Luke asked. You sighed, sitting on the edge of your bed. “I didn’t want to tell them, they were disappointed when I changed my major. I didn’t want to tell them I lost my boyfriend too.”

He frowned. “I haven't dated anyone since you. My parents just think I was with you during the summer but I was really just driving around town or window shopping at stores,” you admitted. Luke opened his mouth to say something but shut it when his phone buzzed. He had been gone for three hours, his brothers and parents were wondering where he had gone. “I have to go,” Luke swallowed.

You walked him out, watching with a smile as he bid everyone a goodbye and walked him out to his car. “I hope your family is well and Jersey treats you well,” you whispered. “Have a good Christmas (Y/N).”

If Luke and you were still dating, he would have kissed you. You would have seen his parents for Christmas, messed with Quinn and Jack, it would have been all fine. “Bye Luke.”

You snuck past your family, wanting to go cry in your room. You missed Luke. You entered your childhood bedroom, but there was something on your bed. It was a folded piece of paper, from Luke. You slowly unfolded it. A plane ticket to New Jersey.

[haesunflower]

meeting the parents with zb1

genre: fluff

pairing: reader (gn) x all members of zerobaseone

about/tags: zb1 is introduced to your parents for the first time

cursing in some, yujin is here platonically, family dynamics, bullet point reactions

⠀⠀ kim jiwoong ⠀⠀

is so confident lol and has every right to be

during dinner, one of his hands lays flatly on your leg because you keep nervously fidgeting in your seat

he doesn't get why you're panicking because it's going so well

you're just nervous because you've never introduced anyone to your family, as jiwoong is your first serious adult relationship

while you're washing the dishes with your mom, jiwoong overhears your conversation and finds out he's the first boyfriend you've ever brought home

"but for the record, i think he's perfect for you y/n."

"i didn't want you to meet anyone i'm less than sure of, jiwoong is definitely the one mom"

⠀⠀ zhang hao ⠀⠀

is a fucking nervous wreck

literally can't think straight and scared he'll say something stupid

so at first, he doesn't really talk at all

you softly squeeze his hand from under the dinner table, just to let him know he's supported

your mom ends up really liking him and tells him he has a gentle soul

"that's one of my favorite things about him, mom"

looks at you fondly smiles

across the table, your parents are reminded of a young version of themselves

⠀⠀ sung hanbin ⠀⠀

is so helpful oh my god

literally sets up the table and helps your mom carry the cooler to the garden

even helps figure out how to work the grill with your dad

your parents are impressed to say the least

your mom whispers to you, "you better marry that one"

hanbin is busy sharing a beer with your dad, toasting to the grill that was now working

he looks back at you and gestures for you to come closer to taste the meat that was grilling – makes sure to blow on it so it's not too hot before feeding you

you're chewing happily, and hanbin is smiling at you with his eyes

⠀⠀ seok matthew ⠀⠀

he is quick to become friends with your dad

they bond over conversations of sports teams and weightlifting, and they disappear into their own world

the rest of your family arrives for the pool party

your dad and mom are throwing water balloons at each other when matthew giggles from beside you and says "that'll be us one day y/n"

you're distracted by his sweet words you don't even realize both of you are being pushed in the pool by your younger siblings

matthew pretends to look offended and starts to playfully chase the culprits

you're smiling to yourself because you can't believe how easily he fits into your family

⠀⠀ kim taerae ⠀⠀

your parents already knew taerae

he grew up next door and was also your first boyfriend

it was literally no problem, no issue 100%

when you wake up at noon, taerae is already dressed and helping your mom prepare for dinner

you're just like./??? when did you get here?

your mom calls you lazy and says she is grateful to have a son-in-law like taerae

he smiles widely at the word son-in-law, dimple on full display

you don't say anything, instead you stand next to him to quietly assist him

the whole thing feels domestic, but you're not complaining

it feels right :)

⠀⠀ ricky ⠀⠀

he ordered flowers in advance for your mom & expensive whiskey for your dad

covered up his tattoos and wore his hair down to look less intimidating

even asked you if he should just dye his hair natural color because he was scared your parents would HATE him

you kept assuring him there was nothing to worry about

ricky is perfect so he nailed it obvi! he didn't show an ounce of nervousness and kept his cool the whole time

your dad jokingly asks him if he should also bleach his hair blonde

you all laugh at the dining table as your mom hits your dad playfully

(your dad isn't joking) (in fact asks ricky to bleach it for him)

you wake up the next day to texts from your dad, it's a selfie of him getting his hair done by ricky

⠀⠀ kim gyuvin ⠀⠀

you're scared that your dad will scare the shit outta him

and for the record, he did

"h-hi sir, it's n-nice to meet you sir" while bowing literally too many times

gyuvin feels like his face is frozen in a forced smile as your dad asks him all sorts of questions about him ,,,, it feels like a job interview

he relaxes when you start drawing small circles on the back of his hand

in the end your dad says "okay you pass, you're pretty decent"

gyuvin takes it as a win and just breathes out a sigh of relief

you excuse yourself to go to the bathroom and while you're gone, your parents sincerely thank gyuvin for making you happy

gyuvin in return thanks them for raising such a wonderful person, and tells them that "loving y/n is the easiest part of my life"

you didn't actually use the bathroom, you just wanted to know what they'll say without you there :') you're soft now

⠀⠀ park gunwook ⠀⠀

is literally so prepared he STUDIED what your parents like by stalking their facebook and took notes while asking you detailed questions about them

just in case, made a whole speech to answer the question "what do you like about y/n?" (he didn't end up using it but he came prepared!)

lol the usual, everyone loves him

your mom barely acknowledges you during dinner and serves gunwook all the best parts of the steak, literally no one hears you ask for someone to pass the potatoes bc they're so engrossed in conversation with gunwook

gunwook hears you though and happily serves you a heaping, whilst responding to your dad's question with ease

your mom smiles at the interaction

at the end of the night he proudly says "i think your parents like me :D" and he's so cute because he looks so satisfied with himself

⠀⠀ han yujin ⠀⠀

(friendship only)

during your recital, your parents think he's some sorta dancing prodigy

which is true because he only started dancing a year ago

at the lobby, you and your parents bump into yujin and his family, and they commend him for doing so well during his solo

when you get home to check the footage from the recital, you're barely in any of "your videos" because it's 70% yujin -_-

A/N: work is killing me guys, i don't know when i'll be able to sit down and just write huhu

taglist: @aleiamk @dwcljh @honghongbri

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[breadqueen95]

hi i love your eren insomniac au so much 😭💛 may i request for a modern au eren x reader (fem/gn) - where eren stands up for the reader from being disrespected by toxic parents? more of like a comfort hc? don’t worry if you are unable to, thank you so much for reading this & putting in so much effort to ur writing <3 have a great day lovely !!

oh my gosh thank you!!!! it's one of my favorite hcs i've written so I'm so happy you like it too! and thank you the most for being here and saying such kind things, it means a lot to me

but FUCK YEAH i can do that for you!!! i'm sorry if this is a situation you have to deal with :( i have my own set of toxic parents so i know how hard it can be. i hope this helps, even just a little <3

kind of turned into a whole ass fic???? i'm so sorry about that lol i hope it's okay!

CW: anxiety, depression, slight ptsd, heavy themes of toxic parental relationships, body issues

modern!Eren Jaeger x fem!Reader

Before

Eren knows about your family. He's known, or at least suspected, from those very first few weeks of getting to know you. He has his own issues with his dad - even though everyone's situation is different, he's come to learn how to recognize those long lasting scars in other people. It hurts him beyond belief that he can see those scars in you, his favorite person.

It was even harder seeing how deep those scars go once you two began your relationship. It took awhile for Eren to help you understand that his love for you wasn't transactional. It wasn't conditional. It didn't depend on the size of clothes you wore, or how many achievements you could tack onto your resume. That you didn't have to walk on eggshells every waking moment just to make sure you didn't misstep. He just loves you. You're still learning that, and trying to show him the very same kind of deep and unyielding love for him.

Even so, Eren has his mom. Carla has been able to show him nothing but pure and unconditional love from before he can remember - a stark contrast from Grisha. He was able to start healing and separating himself from that toxicity from a young age, and hasn't really spoken to him since. Your situation is different - both parents, both different yet similar brands of harshness, both still in contact.

It's complicated. He knows it is. You've even said it yourself.

Doesn't stop him from being so, so gentle with you. From waking up every morning ready to protect you and remind you how much he loves you. It started like that from the very first minute he lay eyes on you, when he knew instantly how much he was going to love you, to now, and every moment to come.

So when your parents kept insisting they had to meet him, Eren tried to convince you that it wasn't that important. That they could try and do this over FaceTime first, test the waters a little bit.

You honestly didn't want to share him with them at all. He's such a sacred part of your life, something so good and pure and wonderful. You're scared that if he sees where you come from, just how bad it can get with them, he'll leave.

You're always terrified that you'll scare him off.

You tell him so one night, as you're wringing your hands together, panicking after yet another passive aggressive text about meeting Eren. It stresses you out more and more every time.

Eren doesn't say anything at first. Just wraps you up in his arms. Pulls you against his warmth. Cradles you against his broad chest, stroking every part of you he can reach with a featherlight touch.

"Baby," he croons, "there's nothing you could show me that could scare me off."

Your stomach swoons every time he calls you that. Can't be helped. He giggles a little at the stutter in your breathing with the pet name, but doesn't poke fun at you just now.

"You're already so goddamn patient with me," you whisper shakily, his name for you unable to sway you from anxiety, "I just don't--"

"I love you," he murmurs, pressing a kiss to your forehead, "I will always love you. I just want you to feel safe and happy, and I'll do everything I can to make you feel that way. Got that?"

Despite the tears filling your eyes, you smile bashfully and hide your face in his neck, leaving thankful and affectionate kisses all over his warm skin.

Okay, so maybe you could do this. You have Eren.

During

After much hounding from your parents, you and Eren find yourselves standing outside the door of your parent's house. You've got a plate of brownies in one hand and Eren in the other. He runs his thumb over your knuckles rhythmically in a way that grounds you. In his other hand, he holds a bouquet of flowers for your mom, ever the gentleman. Carla raised him right.

Everyone's all smiles at first. Eren's impressed; he knows how scared you are, how nervous, but you're putting up a good front. But the more he thinks about it, the more your skill at hiding how you're feeling makes him sad. You've clearly had a lot of practice.

Your parents are showing the good parts of them. You've explained to Eren how there are good memories with them; they can be so loving, so kind. And right now, they're welcoming you home and Eren into their lives with open and loving arms. They're asking Eren all kinds of questions about his life and his interests. Asking about your relationship, how you met, things like that.

It starts to fall apart during dinner.

Eren can see that you've gotten a little more comfortable. Your shoulders aren't as tense, breaths coming a little easier. It's easy for him to understand why you're at war with yourself constantly over how you feel about them.

Then somehow everyone ends up on the subject of something you're passionate about. Eren, for one, is thrilled. Watching you talk about the things you love is one of his favorite activities. Your eyes light up in the most breathtaking way, and your smile is downright infectious. He could listen to you for hours.

"Oh boy, here we go," your mom sighs from one end of the table.

Just like that the spell is broken. Eren has a front row seat as he watches your face fall, your voice cutting off into heavy silence. Your brows knit together as you look down at your plate.

"You're obsessing again," your dad adds with a patronizing laugh.

Eren looks up and in between your parents. They laugh, looking at him as though trying to include him in whatever sick joke they think they're making.

He looks back at you. You're masking it for now, but your hands are clenched in the tightest fists he's ever seen under the table. He reaches under the table and takes the hand closest to him, and ever so gently, tries to coax your fingers open. Trying to get you to let him in.

"Sorry," you say with a self-deprecating laugh, "I know I can get carried away."

Eren's heart shatters. He doesn't know how many times you said this, mostly in the beginning of your relationship and in group settings. You're always so convinced that no one wants to hear you talk, so you end up apologizing for it.

Now he sees it. Where it comes from.

Schooling his face into a friendly expression despite his rage, he squeezes your hand, saying, "No, keep going, I love hearing you talk."

"Nah, it's okay," you shrug nonchalantly, before changing the subject.

The way you're squeezing his hand begs him to drop it. So he does.

But then it keeps going.

You reach for a second helping of something, and your mom says, "How are you still hungry?"

You don't end up getting that second helping.

You make a joke about something, wrinkling your nose in that cute little way he loves so much.

"Yeah, don't tell your coworkers that one," your dad adds in.

Eren has to watch your beautiful face fall.

You're talking about how many long hours you've worked recently, how tired you are.

Cutting you off, your mom jumps in about how hard she works. Very much indicating there's no way you can be more tired than her.

Eren sees you breaking under the weight of it all. His sweet, fiery, passionate girl, reduced to whatever palatable version of you your parents find acceptable. They've tried to make poking fun at you a bonding activity ever since he stepped into their home, and despite his stone faced reactions, they just keep going.

He has to get you out of here. His protective instincts are raging at him to just get you out.

But your mom insists on pictures. So you pose together. Full group picture first. Then one of you and Eren. Eren tries to pour every ounce of love he has into the way he holds you, but he can feel you shaking. He wants to scream, but he pastes a smile on his face instead.

Then it happens.

"TTI, sweetie."

What the fuck? What does that mean?

Then, like a soldier responding to a command, he feels you suck in your soft tummy to the point where he wonders if it's painful.

"Sorry, what does that mean?"

Eren tries to ask in what he hopes is a joking manner, but you can hear the barely suppressed anger just underneath.

"Tuck Tummy In," your mom explains with a lighthearted smile, "now smile--"

"Why would you say that to her?"

He doesn't even try to hide his outrage this time. Eren, a normally very expressive person, has spent the entire night burying his need to put the people hurting you in their place. Now he's had it.

"Eren, it's fine--"

"No, it's not," he seethes, curling his fingers around your waist in a vice grip.

Your parents are silent. No one's ever called them out like this before. You've tried to have discussions with them in the past about things like this, approaching it in a very calm, polite manner, but it always ended badly.

"There's nothing she has to fix about herself to look drop dead gorgeous for a picture. Nothing."

"It's just something we say--"

"Not anymore it's not. Not when I'm here."

You're ready for the yelling to start. You flinch, curling yourself closer into Eren's side. A kneejerk reaction cultivated by years of emotionally volatile parenting. Eren tightens his arm around you. He might be ready to go to war on your behalf, but he's gonna make sure you feel safe at the same time.

Your dad steps forward, a self righteous glare on his face as he looks at Eren.

"You don't speak to my wife that way--"

"Oh, you mean the way you've spoken to your daughter the entire night?"

Heavy silence fills the room. Eren worries that he's gone too far, but then he feels you press even closer to him. If you were upset, you'd be putting distance between you two.

Your parents look at you, expecting you to come to their defense, but you don't. You won't.

"He's r-right," you whisper shakily, "I've told you before how the kinds of things you've said tonight make me feel."

Then, like clockwork, your mom gets misty eyed. Your dad gets stern, condescending, and loud.

"I just wanted a nice night."

"Look at how you made your mother feel."

"I guess we're just the worst parents."

"We'll talk about everything soon," you murmur politely, reaching down to lace your fingers together, "but Eren and I are going home now. Thank you for dinner."

As you go to lead Eren out of there, he tugs you to a stop. You turn and look at him quizzically, wondering what else he could possibly say to them (not that you're complaining). He gives you the sweetest of smiles, the one he reserves just for you. It's the one that says, Don't worry baby. I've got you.

"Since we've already gone there, might as well add some things for the record," he says as he turns around to face them, his hand still holding yours.

"Number 1, it's a goddamn privilege to listen to her talk about anything she wants. For as long as she wants. Anyone who's in the room when she decides to share her passion should count themselves lucky."

Tears gather in your eyes. The happiest of tears.

"Number 2, there are days when I barely see her eat a thing. Those are the days she tries to make herself as small as possible, shrink in on herself. Today was a good day. You took that from her and you should be fucking ashamed."

You start to smile, so in love with this man. Even as your dad starts to raise his voice at Eren's cursing.

"Number 3," Eren says assertively, silencing him, "her belly, the one you shame her for, is one of my favorite parts about her."

Your parents are silent. They stare at Eren in shock, not daring to believe someone could call them out on behaviors they've refused to acknowledge for so long.

Eren turns back to you, green eyes shining with love, and says, "Ready to go?"

You nod. He wraps an arm around you to tug you into him, and leads you out of the warzone.

After

When you and Eren first get in the car, doors slamming shut behind you, he's instantly apologetic.

"I'm so sorry, I let my emotions get the best of me. I never should've gone that far--"

You cut his words off by kissing him, trying to pour every bit of gratitude and love into the way your lips move against his.

The kiss ends, but you stay close to him, resting your forehead against his.

"I'm gonna have a hard time tonight," you warn, your entire body trembling with the emotional aftershock of your confrontation. Once the adrenaline wears off it'll be even worse.

"I know," he whispers, kissing your nose lightly, "it's okay. I'd be more worried if it wasn't."

He goes to pull away so he can start the drive home, his protectiveness ever pushing him to get you to a safe place, but you stop him. You place both hands on his face to bring him back to you, kissing him softly again. You open your eyes, meeting the vivid green of his, and you fall even more in love with him.

"Thank you. For keeping me safe."

"I'd do anything for you."

He says it so simply. So factually. He leans forward to kiss you once more, then finally tears makes himself pull away so he can start the car.

As Eren starts the drive down the sleepy residential street, he keeps one hand on your knee, making smoothing circles on your skin. You grab his hand and bring it to your mouth, kissing his loving fingers, before setting it down again.

"I love you so much," you say.

"Love you more," he answers.

*******

And that night is bad.

The hurt sets in and pulls you under. Your self-esteem, already so fragile, seems to break apart from under you. You feel meaningless and empty.

That's what happens when the people who're supposed to love you the most reduce you to a shell of a person. When they work tirelessly to smother every part of what makes you you. When they dampen that fire that keeps you going, gives you purpose.

It's what they've been doing all your life.

But now you have Eren.

The darkness doesn't feel as all encompassing as it has before. He doesn't let you isolate yourself, knowing it's your self-destructive instinct to do so. Eren keeps you close to him, the best comfort there could possibly be.

He gets you out of the clothes you trapped yourself in to impress them, getting you into a hot shower with him so he can wash your hair for you. He holds you close under the hot stream of water, kissing every inch of your skin he can reach.

Afterwards, Eren dresses you in the most comfortable clothes he can think of. The ones he's seen you happiest in. It just so happens to be one of his t-shirts and a clean, comfortable pair of underwear.

Eren doesn't think he's ever seen you more beautiful.

He curls up with you on the couch, turning on your favorite comfort show to try and distract you. He holds you as close as he can, enveloping you in gentle touches and soft words.

You don't have the words to process everything that happens tonight. Eren doesn't expect you to. He just holds you, showing you how much he loves you. How much he values you. How he can't live without you.

As you climb into bed with him that night, Eren sees you poking at your belly, mouth twisting in distaste.

He reads you better than anyone in the world. Even in the darkness of your bedroom, he can feel how unhappy you are. He can practically hear the hurtful words you hurl at yourself in your head.

So he rolls on top of you, settling himself so you're nose to nose. You look up at him with big eyes, and Eren can't help but smile. He leans down and kisses you.

"You're so gorgeous, y'know that?"

You roll your eyes, and you open your mouth, ready to brush off his statement. But he keeps going.

"I'm so serious," he says with a laugh, "I can't even pick which part of you I love the most."

He bends down to kiss you again, his unbound brown strands acting as a curtain for both of you.

"There's this part," he murmurs as he kisses you again.

"Then there's this part," he whispers, bending down farther to kiss your neck. You sigh, reaching up to weave your fingers through his soft hair.

He presses an open mouthed kiss to your collar bone, whispering against your skin. You can't even process what he's saying anymore. The way he kisses you is enough to make every thought leave your brain.

Then somehow he's slithered down to where his face is level with your stomach. You pull it in self-consciously, trying to tug him back up to eye level, but he stubbornly stays right where he is.

"Now right here," he murmurs huskily as he lifts your shirt, "is my absolutely favorite part of you, pretty girl."

Eren's not lying. He's shown how much he loves your tummy before. He wraps his long fingers around your waist on either side, dipping his head to kiss the soft skin he loves so much.

You simply lay back and let him love you, tired of fighting it tonight. You revel in the way he adores you so honestly, so openly, so unconditionally.

Both of you know it'll never be easy, not with your histories. But Eren showed tonight that he's willing to march into battle for you to keep you safe, to prove to you how important you are.

You love him. He loves you. Even when your family makes you doubt your worth, that'll never change.

***

Writing this was like therapy. Hope it was okay <3

Request here

[marilynthornhilllover]

Miranda x fem! reader.

Name: "your ok my love"

Warning: depression, anxiety, cheating dad, family issues and fluff❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹.

A/N: This was requested but they didnt put it in the ask box!! I really felt bad and decided to pure my heart into this. Hope they like it!🤍

A/N:To anyone who's suffering from family issues or trauma. Just know that your ok and your gonna be just fine.

You were having a very bad panic attack. The fear over took you. You had just got a call from your mom saying that your dad was cheating on her and that she's gonna be moving to England.

Your mom was crying ao much couldn't even speak clearly. Your dad was always breaking your mom's heart and he was always tearing the family apart by cheating. Your mom was very beautiful, well kept and very hard working.

Your dad was just a nasty old fool he didn't like the thought of growing old.

You suffered from depression and anxiety because of them. Your whole childhood you had to deal with trauma that they created.

Thank God you had a day off work. You could not go to work in this state. Messy hair, wet mascara, puffy eyes, shaking hands. You were sitting in a corner of your room crying. You couldn't stop the tears.

The pain was to much to bear.

At this point you don't even know why you were crying. Your father is just messed up.

You saw your phone lit up across the room.

Sniffing you crawled over to see who it was.

"Hope you didn't forget about our girls date babe" the text said. It was miranda

You had completely forgot about the girls sleep date night over that was supposed to happen. You began to cry more. It was your first date and you didn't want it to have to be like this.

1 hour later

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You had fully changed your appearance. You washed your face. Changed your clothes.

You suddenly heard the door knock. You took a deep breath in and walked towards it. Opening the door miranda took you into her embrace. Comforting you in every possible way.

You've been dating miranda for some weeks now. And it's been the best. She's so kind and sweet. She makes you feel like your the the only thing that matters in her world. You melted into her arms. You quickly hugged her back wanting it to last forever.

" you ok, my love? You know you can talk to me with anything right?" Her tone of voice was so soft and calming. You felt like crying again. And you did. You busted out in tears as You fell to the floor whimpering.

Miranda caught you mid way. Holding you in her embrace.

You couldn't breathe. Your hands were shaking. Miranda quickly sat next to you and pulled you closer to her. " ok babe , look at me. Were gonna play a quick game ok" she tried wiping your tears but more came.

She kissed your forehead lightly.

You saw the worry and sadness in her eyes. She really loved you, and she hated seeing her lover like this. "When I breath in and out you do the same ok?" She said tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

" Your gonna be ok, I promise. I'm here ok" she slowly took a deep breath in not breaking eye contact with you. You could see the worry and panick in her eyes when she saw you were struggling to breath.

" take your time my love, it's ok, it's ok, I'm here. I'm right here. No one to hurt you, no one to judge you" she was so calming. She really tried. You followed her lead and breathed in slowly, and then breathed out.

"That's it babygirl, follow mama's lead" she said softly rubbing your back. You kept thinking about it. She placed you onto her lap as she hugged you like a baby.

You buried your face into her neck as you followed her breathing steps. " your gonna be just fine. Whatever it is that is bothering you my love your gonna be ok" she said as she placed soft kisses all over your face.

You soon fell asleep in her arms. You felt safe and sound. She carried you gently to your bed trying her hardest not to break you from your sleep. She got into bed with you as she cover both your bodies with the fluffy blanket she had, gaved you for your birthday last year.

" Your the best, darling. And I love you so much. And just know that you are enough and loved by many. " she whispered as she kissed your lips softly.

She soon fell asleep hugging you the tightest. Making sure she protected you from all the hurt your were secretly feeling.

[headspace-hotel]

do... do you want to expand on whatever was up with your old roommate? because frankly at this point a) it sounds like you SERIOUSLY need to get this out into the open and get some validation in there, and b) i now really want to know wtf her problem was

I've said some things about it, but it was like...your basic common or garden abusive behavior. I can't even describe how controlling she was without writing a whole novel.

She would try to prevent me from eating "too late" at night, saying that it was "unhealthy" to eat at night and that she was "worried" about me. She would not shut up about this one. I told her, pointedly, that I needed to eat in the evenings and I could not sleep on an empty stomach, and she ARGUED with me, saying, "Well, medically, that doesn't make any sense. That shouldn't be happening."

I did actually tell her to mind her own damn business about that one multiple times, but it never fully stopped; even during finals she tried to tell me I couldn't use the microwave at like, 8:30 pm.

I told her up front, repeatedly that I was messy and that I was regularly awake until 2am. She said that was fine. Repeatedly. When we became roommates she would go to bed at 10:30pm and expect me to be either in bed or to be completely silent by then. By "completely silent" I mean more silent than it is humanly possible to be. Unwrapping any kind of package or wrapper, eating, typing on my computer in silence, taking off my jacket, or taking medication were all things she groaned and complained about on at least one occasion.

We would "compromise," repeatedly, and every time she would...not change her behavior. If I took a shower at 10:30, she would try to convince me not to take a shower. If I was awake at midnight doing homework, she would tell me that I needed to go to bed and would not listen when I told her that I was working on something that was due tomorrow. She told me many times that I needed to get up early and work on school instead, saying basically "I don't like doing it either and I still do it, why can't you?"

She tried to literally force me ("force" being her word, not mine) to go to several events on campus, because she thought I "needed" to go, and would not take no for an answer. She would tell me over and over again that she was going to "make" me go to an event, and would not talk to me at all for like a whole day except to nag me about it.

Her behavior often just came so out of left field that I was left reeling just trying to process it. I literally felt like I was losing my mind just trying to wrap my head around what would drive such behavior.

She once got so upset she nearly started crying in front of me telling me she "didn't know where I was on campus" when I wasn't in the dorm. A different time, I was working on school and she sent me literally 20 panicked texts and tried to call me at least once while I had put my phone away for literally like an hour, and when she came back into the dorm she told me she'd been convinced that I had committed suicide. (She had absolutely zero reason to think this—I was actually doing much better at the beginning of the semester than I had been in a long time.)

There was also the time she physically grabbed me and tried to drag me out of bed because she knew I had a 9:30am class and didn't think I was up early enough. At least she apologized for that one. :/

I started staying out until around 1am, just walking around campus or sitting in the library until it closed, just to avoid confrontation. Then she started complaining about me returning to the dorm and waking her up, so I ended up just lying in bed on my phone until I could safely sneak to the refrigerator for something to eat and then fall asleep.

I could go on and on. Coming back from fall break, my mom and dad were helping me carry my stuff in and she literally pulled me into the room ahead of them so we could "talk in private" for a bit, and she just??? Lectured me angrily about how a bottle of juice had exploded in the refrigerator while we were gone, and I'd said I would clean the refrigerator, and her parents yelled at her....???

Looking back on it, it feels so ridiculous that I was stuck living with such a crazy and controlling person, but at the time I couldn't imagine her motivations to be malicious. She was friendly half the time and seemed to perceive us to be more than roommates, more like best friends. She would say out of nowhere how much she "loved" me and our relationship. I also was too stressed to think clearly about it. She was acting in ways I didn't know a human being could act, actions that felt so insane I didn't know how to evaluate them.

I think she may have genuinely thought that she could "fix" me and force me to have a "healthy" sleep schedule and habits by endlessly wearing me down about it. (We see how that ended up.)

I really just wanted to be kind because I knew she didn't have very many friends and was feeling isolated, and I didn't want to be an asshole, but I wound up being a doormat. Part of why it was hard for me to be assertive with her and have boundaries was that I knew her own situation wasn't great either. Over time I realized she was basically re-enacting with me all the dysfunctional behaviors her parents directed at her. Sometimes she would act like I was ruining her life and pissing on her whole bloodline, and then would right away flip to talking about how much she "loved" her relationship with me and what good friends we were etc, and would randomly lapse into "silly" behavior and humor that seemed almost, like, weirdly childish.

From observations, her family seemed to use..."silly" stuff to cover up or defuse tension. "Silly" is the word that comes to mind, but I can't really adequately describe this behavior to you, it was a lot more unnerving than that word communicates. They had a lot of running "inside jokes" that were mostly just absolutely nonsensical, like the kind of nonsense that a four-year-old kid would find funny, and there was something very...not genuine about them.

It almost felt like silliness and inside jokes were something they wanted to have, but the context and foundation that made that kind of stuff comfortable and natural wasn't there. The actual relationship she had with her parents seemed to be one of being constantly controlled, micro-managed and shamed.

Also, she and her parents gave me all sorts of gifts. Fancy gourmet baked goods and candies, socks, jewelry, it really started to pile up after a while. It was impossible to refuse the gifts, no matter how politely, and if I hadn't eaten something she would be weirdly confrontational about it. It was Weird.

Idk. Everything about the situation was so weird. They were Christian in a Weird way. Her mom prayed that I would find a boyfriend soon?? And I had never given any indication that I wanted a boyfriend or was in search of one???

Oh yeah, and I also had to give her the sex talk, because her parents apparently had told her nothing about sex outside of the basic reproductive functions of it. (She was 20.) She asked me 1000 sex questions, which did not bother me—I like explaining things to people, and I'm incredibly hard to embarrass—but then she asked how a woman could be a top. And well. I told her. And the CONCEPT of sex toys for some reason made her really upset and she got mad at me, told me not to talk to her about anything sexual ever again, and I was left really baffled because she acted like I had violated a boundary when she had asked the questions.

[spoofymcgee]

i realized i was queer when i was fourteen. we'd just moved to a new city, i was going to a new school, and until that point in life i hadn't put much thought into who i liked. i assumed i would have a husband because i wanted kids, but i was at orientation for my new school, and there was this girl there–

but the point is, i realized i was queer in a new city, a new house, a new school, and.

the neighborhood we'd lived in before hadn't been the most religious neighborhood. some of our neighbors kept shabbat, some didn't, and there wasn't a real community there that we were part of. that was seven years of my life.

and then we moved. and we moved into a neighborhood where almost everyone was an orthodox jew, and my father taught at the yeshiva and we went to shul there on friday nights.

and for the first time in as long as i could remember, we had neighbors with kids closer to our age, who would come over and laugh and talk with my parents, who were friends with my mom, who asked me to babysit their kids on weekends.

and. look, i don't speak for the whole orthodox community, and there are plenty of orthodox jews who are fine with queer people, who are queer people, etc.

but fourteen year old me didn't know that.

fourteen year old me realized she liked girls and her first thought was 'oh my god, what will the neighbors think.'

because in my little teenage brain, we had just settled in this community and put down roots and my parents planned to live there for a long time, and what would it mean if they had a daughter who liked women, what would people think, would anyone ever talk to them again, how could i do that to them–

and i agonized over this for months. november december january febuary march. i remember being listless, crying while doing the dishes, refusing to tell anyone what was wrong.

(this seems like a good point in time to mention that this was all my dramatics and somewhat erroneous conclusions based on uncles-at-family-dinners and the like. as far as i knew my parents were totally fine with gay people , but they were outliers in the community. to be clear.)

i know the date i came out to my mother because i told her after a friend from my old school texted me 'are you part of the lgbt community? don't worry, i won't tell anyone'

(i'd fought with my best friend, who still went to that school, the year before, because she said that she thought gay people were weird. i had no friends in my new school yet.)

(i panicked and googled how to respond to that question and told her yes i was but only on wednesdays.)

she told me that she was pretty sure she was a lesbian, and please, not to tell anyone.

if she hadn't texted me and scared me like that, i don't know how long it would have taken me to tell my mom. she made me realize i couldn't do this alone.

years later, i cut my hair. it was at my waist and i convinced my mom to let me chop all of it off and get it cropped and short. i told her when it was over that i loved it and the only thing i was really worried about was what the neighbors would think, because i babysat their kids.

she told me that one of them had a sister who was married to a woman (she hadn't known earlier) and so i didn't have to worry about it. i doubt i'll ever meet her. she made me feel safer in my parents' community than anyone else in the world.

last year i went to a queer shabbat retreat up north. i met someone there whose parents live down the block from mine. we see each other, sometimes, when we're both in the area for shabbat. we sit and talk on the stoop of one of the apartment buildings and the night before pride he invited me over because he'd made flag cookies and wanted to eat the messy ones.

my father asked me, the week after that yom kippur, if i knew the son of one of the rabbis, because he'd been home and in shul for the first time in ages and had his ear pierced and as far as my dad knew his dad wasn't the most supportive, and he wanted to make sure he was okay.

i asked my friend and he laughed. they'd been friends for years, him and this guy, and my dad was wrong–his dad was very sweet about it.

i don't know where i'm going with this, really.

i've talked to my mom, sometimes, about learning to be thankful for the community being queer has brought me, all the people i get to know and love because of it.

i wish i could go back in time and hug fourteen year old me and tell her that the neighbors wouldn't say anything. they don't care. some of them will say 'do you want to come to mine? i made brownies' 'i like the pin on your bag' 'did you get a haircut recently? it looks nice'.

[elliesmistress]

what's your funniest high story?

Uhhhhhh, not funny but looking back it it's fucking hilarious.

I was going about my normal day and decided to annoy my dealer with getting tabs (LSD) I brought them, went home and was meant to go to a party the next day. My friends told me not to take it because I'd probably kill myself (I didn't fyi), got home texted my mate that I was gonna do it, he told me take quarter coz it was my first time having acid. I took quarter fucking sucked that shit dry and swallowed.

After 1 hour didn't feel shit so I took another quarter after 10 mins didn't feel shit so went fuck it and took the whole thing-

After maybe 5-10 mins I called my dad and it really started hitting, I thought I had a dick and started stroking the air like a little bitch for at least 20 mins (I am a little bitch fucking sue me and sadly I didn't come 🫡), everything started to move and look weird, think I hung up on my dad at that point. I then proceeded to have a panic attack for 5 hours (I just had a deju vu moment guys sorry), I paced around my room for about an hour, breaking my fan, multiple plates, lecturing myself why not to do LSD and probably my mental health- I called my sister and she told me her dog went paralyzed in the back legs and I laughed my ass off and told her I consumed too many red bulls (I was about to die) refused to pee for probably 6 hours if that (I had taken it at 7-8pm at night) I then texted my guy friend and told him random shit coz I was freaking out THEN I called my bsf who literally said "I'm going on a. Little trip, not like you tho" and it made it worse, she then started playing rick and Morty in the background which I could "see" I then hung up on her got a text from my Mom saying "go to sleep" by this point I was gonna jump off a fucking building , I then went to my dog and proceeded to cry for at least 20 minutes while she was asleep, I also texted my bsf and continued to text her before she had to go to work at 2am (she's American so like maybe 7-8am her time) I was panicking and being rude but that's fucking besides the point I was fucking hilarious (I was literally shaking and my muscles were contracting) . Texted my friend at 6-7am when she woke up happy birthday and that I was still going to her party~

Had to walk to the bus coz I wasn't sober enough to fucking drive, got onto the bus and to the ferry, god decided that day he was gonna make me cum on a boat (I didn't actually DW it was just the movements) I also almost punched this kid on the face coz he wouldn't stfu and I was angry, got to the party I then proceeded to drink alcohol until I was 6 shots in and had redbull and vodka. I got another bad trip and by this point I hadn't slept for 20 hours so I called my sister and begged her to come pick me up, then uh yeah I went to sleep and it felt like my body was falling through the mattress (don't recommend)

Don't do drugs

[countessofravenclaw]

Secretos o las ruedas y el mar: Act 1

In 2024 a group of our favorite skaters ended up having a bit of a time-traveling escapade. Now over 20 years later, two girls find the very mysterious book at the Blake library and end up discovering that they definitely do not know everything about their parents' past.

So, this is a little bit of a Daughter fic/Spin-off of Memories of Time, so I recommend reading that before this. Like a Red Rose Blooms in the Oxford Garden is also recommended for some context.

“Don’t get in trouble!”

“You said that last year as well. Why on earth would I get in trouble?” Aurora rolled her eyes at her brother Oscar, who had dropped her in the front of Blake South College. Their younger sister Laura had already come in early for freshmen orientation, so Oscar only had had to drive Aurora to the school.

“Well, Firecracker, if someone of us gets detention someday, it’d be you,” Oscar laughed at her, “And I am not explaining that to Mom and Dad.”

“Don’t call me that!” Aurora yelled as Oscar drove the car off to park it. As he was out of view, she just shook her head and walked through the heavy wooden doors. 

Firecracker was a nickname Dad had given her years ago, even before Laura had been born. Aurora didn’t mind when he called her that, but it was their thing, if anyone else did it, it was one of the most annoying things ever. Only Dad was allowed to call her that.

Oscar always loved to tease her. He was the firstborn, who had their mother’s intellectual, calmness, and sensitiveness. Laura had the artistic talents of both of their parents, while Aurora was the headstrong, charming, inquisitive perfectionist who apparently reminded Grandma a lot. Three of them were pretty different in some aspects, but anyone who ever met them always said that you could not mistake whose children they were. 

Aurora’s phone dinged again. Her best friend Stella had been blowing up her phone all morning. She was apparently panicking about something that she refused to tell her about via text… Honestly, with Stella, it could be anything, especially since it literally was the first day of their sophomore year. 

“Oh good, you are finally here!” Stella jumped to hug Aurora as she met her at the door to the library and her blonde-dyed natural curls went straight to Aurora’s face.

Aurora shook her head, as she hugged her back. She had known Stella all her life, or more like all Stella’s life, Aurora had already been ten months and there were pics, taken by her dad, of them meeting at the hospital. Their parents always joked that they were the reincarnation of their moms, who were best friends, just like their dads were as well.

“Oscar was driving,” Aurora explained, “So, what is so urgent that you woke me up with your alarming texts? I had to be on my phone so much, that Dad full-on asked me who I was texting. Now he thinks that I have a secret boyfriend. So, thanks a lot.”

“But your dad’s not protective,” Stella shrugged.

“You’re only saying that because he is your godfather, not your father,” Aurora scoffed, “I mean, he pretends that he is not. Always says that we can go out, but we need to let them know where we’re going and he wants to meet the guys first, just to put faces to the names. It’s a miracle Alex has not run away yet, or that Laura didn’t get grounded for meeting him at camp.”

Alex was Laura’s boyfriend, who she had met during the summer at a skating camp she had attended with her best friend Ivory Alvarez. He didn’t go to Blake and Laura had spent the whole of last evening talking with him on the phone.

“I need this book,” Stella took her phone out and showed Aurora a picture of a book cover, “I have this perfect move that I could do on the rink with a snippet of this, for the book tok.”

“This was about a book for your TikTok?” Aurora crossed her arms. She had known Stella for almost 16 years and still, she was able to surprise her. “I thought you were on fire at least.”

“I need your help,” Stella pleaded, “Blake library for sure has that book, but you know I can’t go deeper than two shelves before getting lost.”

“It’s really not that hard.”

“For you, it is not,” Stella grabbed Aurora’s arm, “It’s in your blood. We all don’t have the library navigation genes that the Peridas carry.”

“Just because Mom and Dad got together while spending way too much time at the library at Oxford, doesn’t mean there is genetics involved,” Aurora shook her head. She had heard that story more times than she would have liked, but Laura the hopeless romantic, had always pleaded with Mom and Dad to tell them the story more times than was possible to count when they had been younger. 

Mom and Dad had known each other while they had been at Blake and in the team of Jam & Roller and Stella’s Mom and Dad had been—and still were—their best friends. Then both of them had gone to study at Oxford and ended up in the same circles again. Apparently, sparks had flown pretty quickly, but they had actually done something about it once Dad had volunteered to help Mom with some physics course she had taken. Who knew why a literature major who would become a well-known author later ever took physics, but that was not important. They had gotten married six months after they had moved back to Buenos Aires after Mom had graduated with her masters.

“—And we can talk about how Stella Balsano can’t play the guitar to save her life.”

“Okay, you made your point,” Stella started dragging Aurora towards the library, “Now, lets go find that book.”

“Okay, so it’s fiction so stocked at the very back,” Aurora said as they entered the library. “And the author’s name started with an S, right? That means left…”

“Told you, Master Navigator,” Stella teased her as they started walking deeper in the library.

“Do you know where we are?” Stella started questioning as they walked even deeper into the library.

“Of cours—” Aurora started saying but stopped in her tracks, “Except that I have never seen that before.”

They were standing next to the wall that had a big, engraved stone board. 

“Huh?” Stella walked towards the board, “Notable Alumni of Blake South College.” She read. “Cool, I didn’t know they kept tabs on these. Wonder what these people have done?”

Aurora walked next to Stella and looked at the board herself. It read a bunch of names, their graduation year from Blake, then a degree and the school. “Yale, Harvard, Cambridge. I don’t think these are notable because of what they have done, but because of what school they attended after graduating from Blake. Blake seems to take a lot of pride in stuff like this.”

“Wow, look,” Stella exclaimed suddenly, “Your parents are on here.”

“What? Really?” Aurora moved to the right side of the board where Stella was standing. There it really was. 

About maybe five names from the last one read:

Gastón Perida; Graduated in 2017; Master of Science and Technology, University of Oxford 2022

Nina Simonetti; Graduated in 2018; Master of Literature, University of Oxford 2023

“Well, it does make sense why these are stacked here then,” Aurora had noticed that on the shelf next to the board held all of her mother’s books, from her debut trilogy, the five-part SciFi saga to the currently only published part of the new mystery series. The shelf even had the stand-alone book that her parents had written together. That was currently the only time Mom had published something under her current name: Nina Perida, instead of her maiden name Simonetti, which she had kept as a pen name. 

Mom had always said that Blake had her books in stock, but Aurora had never been able to find them, well until now. She had always wondered where they were. The couple of research articles Dad had done —he had argued for a Ph.D. after Laura had been born and now gave occasional lectures at the University of Buenos Aires and UCA in addition to being one of the senior engineers in Castillo corporation’s executive team— were well on display at the library’s entrance. 

“Hmmm, wonder if Oscar knows about this board,” Aurora looked back up from the shelf, “Because if he does, he must be hell-bent on getting his name on it. I heard him working on his personal essay yesterday with Mom…typical of him, better be early than on time. School started today! He appears to forget that he still needs to actually graduate before he can go to college, and that aint happening till the end of the year.”

Oscar had, ever since Aurora could remember, always wanted to be a doctor just like Aunt April. About a year ago he had set his eyes on Oxford. “Continuing the legacy” Aurora guessed.

“It’ll be weird to think that he’ll be gone.” Stella looked up, her eyes getting a dreamy look in them. “Well, across the ocean, but still not here. All alone, without any of us. I’m gonna miss him.”

“Steallaaaaa, I really need you to stop,” Aurora groaned. She had not yet been able to pinpoint where Stella’s ludicrous crush on Oscar had appeared, but it had already run its course with her patience over the summer, “He is my brother, that is gross.”

“Well…” Stella just shrugged her shoulders.

“I am saying this because I care about you,” Aurora took Stella by the shoulders, “He is not interested in you, and never will be. He will go to Oxford, find some english girl, and bring her home. Plus, your dad will kill any guy who even dares to approach you… And contrary to popular belief, I don’t want Oscar to die.” 

Honestly, those words didn’t hold as much weight as you might have thought. Yes, Aurora didn’t want her big brother getting killed in Matteo’s hands, but that wasn’t any surprise to anybody. Oscar, she and Laura were actually really close, had always been. They were only about two years apart from each other —Laura was a freshman, Aurora a sophomore, and Oscar a Senior— and Mom and Dad had made sure they had made a lot of memories together growing up. They had travelled the world: a lot of trips to the states, to Disneyland and Disney World, multiple Disney Cruises and had been to Europe more times than you could count. Aurora had been able to speak fluent English since she had been 11, if not younger.

“He wouldn’t kill his own godson…” Stella pondered, “...and who else is Dad supposed to approve of?”

Aurora shrugged, “Lucas?”

“Lucas Arias?” Stella questioned.

“I wasn’t being serious.” Aurora shook her head, “I just feel weird about even considering dating anybody offspring from our parents' circles… we’re all basically cousins. It just feels wrong…and he has a girlfriend. Oscar should get one, so you would get released from under that spell.”

"Don't tempt fate like that." 

Aurora had gone back to looking at her mom’s books and her attention suddenly focused on a book next to them. It was a thick book called With the Speed of Light by Markus Tuominen. Aurora had never heard of that before. The book looked really intriguing.

“What are you staring at?” Stella walked next to Aurora.

“Ever heard of this book?” Aurora pointed towards the book. Aurora had grown up with two bookworms as parents, so she obviously was a nerd quite profoundly, but Stella loved reading too. Luna and Matteo always said that it had been due to Aurora’s parents’ influence as Stella’s godparents. 

“No.” Stella shook his head. 

“Me neither.” Aurora grabbed the book and tried to pull it off the shelf. It was heavier than it looked, and it was extremely hard to get it moving. “Something about the name Markus Tuominen sounds familiar to me.”

“Let me help.” Stella took hold of the spine of the book and together the girls were able to get it to moving. 

It was a struggle, but they finally got the book pulled out of the shelf, but it was so heavy that they instantly dropped the book onto the ground…

Suddenly a bright light, almost like lightning had stricken inside, blinded both of them. 

“What was that?!” Stella screamed as they jumped away from the book.

“Something just happened,” Aurora shook her head. “That was very weird.”

She bent down to pick the book off the ground, and to her confusion, it was much lighter. Aurora was able to lift the book up with ease. 

“Aurora… look…” Aurora was just about to open the book when Stella’s horrified voice stopped her. She looked toward Stella, who was pointing to the Notable Alumni board. 

Aurora saw the problem at once. The board was limestone, the type usually used in gravestones and all the names were carved into it… It was not possible to remove them. Still somehow, someway, her parents' names were gone and so were all the other names that had been after them. The last name that was on the board now, had graduated in the year 2012. 

“They’re gone…” Stella said in a horrified whisper. “How’s that possible? We’re not crazy right? They were there carved on stone, you saw them.”

“I did,” Aurora walked closer to the board. This was strange…

…something came into her mind in a flash…It was not possible, but what other explanation was there? 

“Aurora?” Stella’s voice sounded again, “You are being too quiet.”

“Just got an idea,” Aurora mumbled and pulled her phone out of the blazer pocket, “This is absolutely crazy…but…”

“But? But what?” Stella’s voice grew more frantic, but Aurora ignored her for the time being. She opened her phone and…

It wasn’t possible… but at the same time, it really was. Aurra stared at the right corner of her phone. The date couldn’t be right. 

“My phone says that it’s 2017.” Aurora finally said and looked at Stella, whose face was absorbed by shock. 

“No,” Stella started shaking her head, almost like she was trying to detach the skull from the spine. “That’s not possible.”

“Would explain the board,” Aurora felt her voice waiver…

“It’s not possible,” Stella was still standing more still than she ever had in her life. 

“It shouldn’t be,” Aurora looked at the book again. Had it caused this? What had that big flash been? “But everything is evolving. Dad sometimes says that he wouldn’t be surprised if material teleportation was invented in twenty years’ time.”

“Doesn’t change the fact that we should not be time-traveling now! Why? How?”

Aurora shook her head, “It has something to do with this.”

“A book?” Stella stared. “A book caused us to travel back in time?”

“You know light-speed is a type of time-travel, and how the book was super heavy, but now it is not.” Aurora continued, “I mean if you don’t believe me, look at your own phone. When have they ever been wrong about the dates? Technology doesn’t fail like that.”

Stella pulled her own phone from the pocket of the uniform…and stared at it. “No… no no no no. It’s not happening…Non è possibile! Come è successo!?! Devo stare sognando, questo deve essere un incubo. No no no, questo non è reale. Non sono nemmeno riuscito ad andare al college. O avere il mio primo bacio! O sposare Osc...” She started pacing around while words kept coming out of her mouth. 

“Stella,” Aurora sighed. Ever since she had been little, she had had this aspiration of speaking languages. She wanted to be able to speak four or more, by the time she finished college. Spanish was her native and English had come along quite naturally as their parents had made sure they all had learned it, not just from school. Aurora had been studying Italian since the seventh grade since La Hoja de roble had not offered it before which had been extremely frustrating. She was actually quite good at it already and often understood it quite well… but when the bi-lingual Stella went off, no one could understand her… “Can you cool it with the Italian?”

“It’s how I panic!” Stella stopped her pacing and stared at Aurora.

“I know,” Aurora nodded, “But there’s no reason to panic.”

“THERE’S NO REASON TO PANIC?!” Stella grabbed Aurora by the shoulders, “There is every reason to panic! We just have traveled back in TIME! To 2010s! The feeble early years of the 21st century! This is literally 30 years before where we were!”

“Okay, yeah, I get it,” Aurora tried to keep her voice calm, even though Stella’s panic was starting to catch on. There were thons of other places she’d much rather be, but Aurora Perida would not panic. “But this is not helping.”

“What will help?”

“But we have to start from somewhere…” Aurora put the book back on the shelf and started looking around the library.  “Now we first need to figure out what kind of time travel this is.”

Aurora stood in place for a moment thinking, before walking next to the nearest bookshelf and knocked on the wood. It made a sound. This would need some testing. She could cross the consciousness transferring off her list, given that she and Stella would have not been born for over ten years.

She ran her hand on the shelf before picking up one of the books. Aurora turned it around in her hands… and then threw it on the floor. 

“What are you doing?” Stella stared at her. 

“Just wait.” Aurora said while not taking her eyes off the book on the floor. Then she suddenly blinked and…and the book was gone. Aurora turned her head back to the bookcase and saw that the book was back on the shelf, exactly at the same place where she had taken it from. “Fascinating.”

“What?” Stella was looking extremely confused, “Mind telling me what’s going on here?”

“I think I figured it out,” Aurora finally turned to look at Stella. “Were like observers.”

“Meaning?” Stella pleaded, “Aurora, I’m not you. My mother is not an author, I don’t speak fluent poetry. Please don’t speak in riddles.”

“Okay,” Aurora leaned into a bookcase, “You see I’m leaning on this. I can touch it, so we can interact with stuff, so we’re not ghosts like…like in A Christmas Carol. You understand?”

“I think so?” Stella’s eyes were wide open.”

“The thing is, you saw the book, that we can interact with things, but can’t influence them or impact.” Aurora continued, “In other words, we can’t change the past in any kind of way.”

“That’s a good thing, right?”

“Yes, it is,” Aurora nodded, “We can only observe. This is cool.”

“Aurora, you're the only person in the whole world who can find this cool,” Stella groaned.

“Well, I am the daughter of Nina and Gastón Perida,” Aurora rolled her eyes, “You said it yourself, it’s in my blood.”

“So, what do we do now?” Stella was running behind Aurora who had started walking. 

“First figure out if anyone can see or hear us,” she responded and stopped next to the library's office, a little bit away from the library entrance. 

“You mean we’re going go amongst other people?” Stella asked alarmed, “What if they can see us?”

“Then we’ll just blend in,” Aurora shrugged. Yes, she was a bit scared herself, but also getting more and more excited by the second. There was something so fascinating about this… “You have seen the pictures from our parents’ school days. The uniforms have not changed one bit.”

Aurora peeked inside the librarian’s office. Maybe if she banged on the glass, she could see if she was getting a reaction—

“Oh my god!” Stella suddenly screamed and Aurora jumped around. 

“What?” Stella was pointing toward one of the hallways between the bookcases. Aurora saw a back of a student, whoever they were, walking away. 

“He almost ran over me.” Stella squeezed herself against a bookcase, “Like he didn’t even see me.”

“He didn’t see you!” Aurora exclaimed. 

“Why do you sound happy about me almost getting trampled to my death?”

“It proves that no one can see us,” Aurora continued as relief flooded into her. Whatever this was, at least it was following the rules. “Or hear us… since you have been yelling a lot. Let’s go!” She grabbed Stella’s hand and started pulling her toward the library exit.

“Go where? Shouldn't we stay at the library and find a way to get back?”

“Yes, of course,” Aurora nodded but still kept walking, “But first let’s look around. We have nothing to lose, and I want to see how Blake has changed. Let's go explore…I mean we don’t know if we’ll even ever remember this.”

“You really are enjoying being in this Sci-Fi novel?” Stella tried to keep up with Aurora. 

“Maybe just a little bit,” Aurora shrugged, “No harm done, plus I kind of feel like there is something that someone somewhere wants us to see, hence why any of this is even happening.”

“Like what?” Stella really seemed like she wasn’t going to have any of this. “What on earth could there be to see in 2017?”

“We’ll need to figure that out. “Aurora shook her head. 

She looked out of the library’s entrance. The time was 9:15 pm so the first class of the day had just ended and the second one was about to begin in 15 minutes. The hallway was crawling with students…and yep, the uniforms had not changed one bit. 

Aurora tried to look around everywhere as she and Stella joined in the flow of students leaving their classes. Stella on the other hand was jumping from place to place making frightened noises. 

“You don’t need to keep dodging,” Aurora raised her eyebrow at Stella. “They can’t see us.”

“I know that,” Stella stopped for a moment, “But I rather not know what it feels like to have someone else’s body morph through mine. Can we go somewhere where is not this crowded?”

“Sure.” They turned left from the hallway and entered the school’s main hall. It was much less crowded, thankfully. 

Aurora looked at the walls. How ancient was this school? Again, almost nothing had changed in 30 years. Only the touch screens on the walls were missing. Her eyes saw a paper calendar on the wall. Those really had been real? Seemed like it. 

“Aurora?” Stella was poking her on her shoulder. 

“What?”

“If this really is 2017…?”

“It is,” Aurora pointed toward the calendar. She had no idea what Stella was getting at. “Look at that calendar. It proves it, once and for all.”

“Yeah, that’s great and all,” Stella didn’t turn, since she was looking at something, “But…If it is 2017…then what is Oscar doing here?”

“Oh my god!” Aurora yelled. How on earth could Stella think about Oscar at a time like this? “Just why? Okay, I get it! You for some godforsaken reason have a crush on him and think he’s the love of your life and want him to be your first kiss and stuff… I get it that, no matter how disturbing it is, you see him in your dreams, but this is not the time or place!”

“No,” Stella shook her head, actually sounding serious for the first time in her life, “I didn’t mean that. Although I do see him in my dreams…” She shook her head, “But he’s actually here, look.”

Stella pointed toward where she had been looking and Aurora turned and froze. 

Stella hadn’t been just kidding or dreaming…A tall, brown-haired guy was standing around the door that led to the cafeteria…and he looked alarmingly alike to Oscar. 

It wasn’t possible. Thoughts were spinning in Aurora’s head. The book was the cause for the time travelling, and she and Stella had been touching it…there was no way Oscar could have had…

Wait. 

The longer Aurora looked, the more and more it became evident it wasn’t her brother. It looked like him, quite a lot, but not enough… The only explanation was… 

“Dad?”

“What?” Stella whipped her head around to look at Aurora so fast that all her hair went to Aurora’s face. 

Aurora just kept staring at—at her father. It was him. Aurora had seen more than enough pictures of him as a teenager to be positive. He was on his phone and looked up every once and a while—Waiting for somebody perhaps. 

“Wait wait,” Stella was showing her shock a lot more animatedly, “That, that really is your Dad? My godfather? Dr. Gastón Joakim Perida?”

“You know he hates to be called that,” Aurora rolled her eyes, “It’s not like he’s an M.D., he just has a doctorate. But yeah, it is him… Of course, it is 2017, so he would be 18 and is a senior right now. Why didn’t I realize it sooner?”

“That our parents are all here somewhere as teenagers right now?” Stella asked she spun around on her feet. 

“I mean yeah,” Aurora nodded. 

“Well, that explains why I’m seeing your mom.” 

“Where?” Aurora turned around to look where Stella was looking. 

It was like looking into a 3D mirror, except that there were certain things out of place. Green eyes, hair was straight instead of wavy and glasses, otherwise she basically saw herself walking down the hallway. It was weird. 

Aurora looked back at her dad, who had put his phone away and was now looking straight ahead. Aurora realized that he was looking at Mom, and that she was walking toward him… 

Well, that wasn’t that weird. They knew each other and probably had agreed to talk about something. 

“Uuu, this should be interesting.” Stella was jumping some more. “I wonder what they were like when they weren’t in love yet. Well, we’re about to see.”

Aurora had to agree with the sentiment. Her parents—especially Dad—had never shied away from showing affection toward each other, sometimes to disgusting degrees, at least in Aurora’s opinion. On the other hand, she never could imagine them being just friends. So, this would be extremely interesting. 

“Hey. I got your message,” Dad started saying as Mom walked up to him, “Is everything okay?” 

Maybe it was because she knew what was to come, given that she, Oscar and Laura were the result, Aurora got a kind of non-platonic vibe from this conversation. Something about the body language and the looks, the fact that Dad’s hand had gone on Mom’s upper arm almost automatically, but she probably was just imagining. 

“It’s better than okay,” Nina had a very wide smile on her face before wrapping her arms around Gastón’s neck and kissing him. 

Or not. Aurora realized very quickly that she in fact had not been imagining. 

“What is going on?” Aurora had almost completely forgotten that Stella was standing next to her. “I thought they got together at Oxford. Why are they kissing now?”

“They told us that they were just friends during this time.” Aurora couldn’t get her eyes off the sight. 

“Well, you seem happy this morning,” Dad smiled at Mom as his arm left from around her waist.

“Well, I got some good news,” Mom looked like she was beaming, “My parents told me I could go.”

“Really, Nina? I can’t believe it. Great! I thought they were going to say yes.” 

“It was all thanks to you. What did you say to them?”

“I had to tell them how I felt about their daughter.” 

“Yeah, because this looks so much like friendship,” Stella crossed her arms amused, “Unless the definition has changed drastically in the last 30 years. What is going on?”

“I don’t know,” Aurora shook her head. She wasn’t the best person with surprises. She was the one who always knew what was going on when no one else did. If she for some reason didn’t, she would always have a way to figure it out. There was no way to figure out her and Stella’s current situation, they were time-traveling for crying out loud. Aurora could feel the small amount of control that she felt like she had over the situation, slipping away, and she didn’t like it.

“Things must be dire if you don’t know,” Stella turned toward Aurora with eyes wide, “That’s not something I hear from your mouth often.”

“Funny,” Aurora rolled her eyes before they focused on another short brunette who suddenly came through the door, “Hey look! It’s your Mom.”

“Uup, I came in at the wrong moment, didn’t I?” Luna stopped on her tracks and tried to walk away before Nina stopped her.

“Huh, she really always has been that short,” Stella remarked, “I was kind of hoping that she shrunk during childbirth or something…just so I could have more tall genes.” 

“We’re doomed to be short, both of us,” Aurora tapped Stella on the shoulder, before focusing again on the conversation between her parents and Luna, “Apparently Laura is going to be taller than me, which is no fair.” 

“My parents allowed me to go to Oxford.” 

“Hold up,” Stella piped up again, “Why is your mom going to Oxford now? Your dad was the senior here, isn’t she a year younger?”

“She is,” Aurora nodded while wracking her head. This was making her way too confused… “I honestly don’t know what she is talking about…unless…unless she somehow finished high school in England.” 

“But if she did that,” Stella continued, “and went with your dad…and since they are together now…Does that mean that everything about their story never happened? Your mom having roommates who knew your dad and then him helping her with physics…and the library thing? Thats just a story and not real?”

“I don’t know,” Aurora tried her hardest not to snap. She had already said I don’t know way too many times today. “This is not making any sense. I mean… maybe they are not together right now.”

“We just saw them kiss.” 

“I know,” Aurora wasn’t fully sure what she was saying herself anymore, that confused she was, “But that doesn’t hundred percent mean that they are exclusively together.”

“So, what do you reckon is happening here?” Stella rolled her eyes. 

“Maybe a casual relationship?”

“Aurora, do you hear yourself? This time-travel juice has really gotten to you,” Stella grabbed Aurora by the shoulder, “You just talked about your parents and a casual relationship in the same context.”

“Yeah, I realized that as soon as it came out,” Aurora cringed. What had gotten into her?

“Nothing in this world—even the existence of, well, time travel—can convince me that your parents weren’t madly in love before they ever slept together.” 

“You can drop that topic right there,” Aurora gave Stella the sternest look she was able to muster.

“Come on,” Stella huffed, but she clearly also was very amused, “I know that you know how it works. How do you think you exist otherwise?”

“Of course, I know how it works,” Aurora sighed again. She was 16, not six for crying outloud, “But I’d rather not discuss it when it comes to my parents… or do you wanna talk about yours and that?”

“Oh, no no no no no,” Stella started laughing before suddenly stopping, as the door her mom had come through, opened again.

“Hello, how are you? I’m Matteo Balsano. I know you’re happy because my album is coming out soon. I promise you will be the first to hear it because I love you all very much.”

“I was wondering when Dad was going to insert himself into the situation.” Stella noted as Matteo walked through the door and everyone else was giving him very questioning looks. 

“Me too,” Aurora responded. With their parents, where was two, the other two almost always followed, curse or blessing of being four coupled best friends. “What album is he talking about?”

“How would I know?” Stella shrugged, “Isn’t he like 18 too? Ooooh, this must be the one that got canceled.”

“Are they even together right now?” Aurora asked as Luna and Matteo started arguing almost instantly.

“Again, no idea—” Stella shook her head, “—and I’m not going to figure it out. They always say that they didn’t know themselves half the time were they together or not. Honestly, that’s what I thought was the reason why your parents didn’t really get it on before college, since the tensions between Mom and Dad… Now I obviously do see that they in fact did get it on—I still don’t get this. Why did they make it up about how they got together and when?”

“I have hard time believing that they made it up,” It didn’t make any sense to Aurora. All of it couldn’t be a lie. There were too many moving variables. Marlee and Ariana were real people, who existed and had known Dad before Mom. All of Mom and Dad’s Oxford friends would have needed to be in on it. “Neither of them are very good liars.” A sudden realization hit her, “This doesn’t make sense because Mom didn’t go to Oxford.”

“What do you mean?” Stella was looking at Aurora with the most flabbergasted expression, “Of course she did, her diploma is literally framed on the wall of your place.”

“I didn’t mean the University part,” Aurora sighed. Of course, she knew that, “I meant that she didn’t finish upper secondary there, like she is planning at this moment. She did her senior year at Blake and graduated with your mom and Jim and Yam. There are pictures of it, and Dad wasn’t in them.”

“Oh yeah, you’re right,” Stella seemed like there were at least three hundred gears turning in her head, “But that doesn’t answer anything.”

“I have always felt like the there is more to that story about the library,” Aurora started, “They definitely omitted some facts.”

“It still doesn’t all add up.”

“It doesn’t,” Aurora agreed before slight gasp left her lips.

“What?” Stella looked at her concerned.

“That is why we’re here,” Aurora started explaining, “We have just been presented with a mystery. “What happened or didn’t happen between my parents?” Now we need to solve it.”

“And how do you presume we do that?” Stella leaned against the wall, “We don’t exactly control any of this. Look, I will take ten calculus classes over this any day. You hear me universe! I’LL NEVER COMPLAIN ABOUT MATH AGAIN!”

“I should have forced you to read more Agatha Christie,” Aurora looked at her disapprovingly, “Nothing will get solved by just standing here.”

“So, we’re basically in a murder mystery?” The comparison didn’t seem to amuse Stella at all, “What if the people who end up being dead end up being us?”

“No one is going to die,” Aurora gabbed Stella by the hand as she noticed that her parents had slipped away from Luna and Matteo’s argument, “Come on, let's follow them.”

As they started walking, they were once again blinded by a bright light.

{}

I once swore I would never write any nextgen content for Soy Luna, because I wasn't fully able to imagine it and I have not really enjoyed any of the fics I have read about the topic either (personal preference, no hate to the stories at all). But now I have found myself coming up with headcanons and characterizations for the kids, especially the ones Gastón and Nina will have. My biggest problem with next gen content has been that he kids have always been one group. I will not do that, since they all wouldn't be one friend group. They're different ages and have different interest, so on and so forth. They obviously all know each other and have a good relationship, they are basically cousins because they are very close family friends. Only some are like besties with each other, often because they are the same age etc. like Stella and Aurora and Ivory and Laura. Anyways, here I go again, writing timetravel, but I am just obsessed with the trope. The scene we see here is the scene from S2E70 where Nina tells Gastón that she can go to the Oxford with him, if it wasn't clear, I just added stuff in the beginning of the conversation. So if you have missed MOT... we're back... well, kind of. This isn't exctatly the same style of time travel, but we'll see what happens next. Leave predictions please what they will see next

[sheerfreesia007]

Webhead Chronicles #26

Title: Webhead Chronicles #26

Fandom: The Amazing Spiderman

Pairing: tasm!peter parker x ofc!

Author: @sheerfreesia007​

Words: 3,084

Warnings: Fear of heights, giant lizard, car on fire

Permanent Tag List: @paintballkid711, @fioccodineveautunnale, @phoenixhalliwell, @linkpk88, @weirdowithnobeardo, @athalien

Author Notes: The bridge scene! 

Gif Credit: @stylesparker

Ev sat in the back of the black Lincoln town car listening to the radio that the driver had on as they sat in bumper to bumper traffic on the Williamsburg bridge. Sighing softly Ev looked out the window wondering how dinner was going with the Stacy’s and Peter. Sinking slightly in her seat Ev felt the insecurity start to rise up again within her, she was in love with Peter and had been for quite some time. But she didn’t feel as if she could tell him that, she didn’t feel as if she was good enough for him. Especially now that he was Spiderman she really didn’t feel as if she could ever measure up to him and be a good partner for him. And she had a feeling that he might like Gwen, who was smarter, prettier and more friendly than she was.

Sighing again Ev slumped over the door and stared through the window out towards the water. Just then she saw a flicker of green scales just beyond the bridge railing and she frowned as her eyes tried to follow it but it was too quick for her.

“I’m really sorry about this Miss. I thought we’d make good time by taking the Williamsburg.” said the driver and Ev turned her head to look at him from her seat.

“Oh no worries. As long as we get there eventually. My Dad is always working late anyway.” Ev reassured him as she pulled out her phone and sent a text to her Dad letting him know that she was stuck in traffic on the Williamsburg bridge. Just as she pressed send she heard screaming coming from outside the car. Turning to stare out the opposite window she watched as people ran past the car in a panic while looking over their shoulders in fear. Frowning softly Ev slid across the seat to the other side to look through the back window to see what was causing such a reaction from everyone.

“Miss, I think we should get out. I don’t know what’s going on but I think we should move with the crowd.” said the driver as he looked around at the other people running away from behind them. He put the car in park and opened the driver’s door and began to step out.

Just then the car lurched forward and Ev gasped softly as her body slammed into the back of the front seats. She groaned softly as she felt pain blossom on her left shoulder as she sat back in the seat and looked out the back window to see what was going with the car behind her.

“Miss! I need you to get out of the car now!” called the driver and Ev quickly climbed over the front seat to step out of the driver side door. She looked back to the cars that all stood behind the black town car to see if she could find out what was the cause of this commotion, but there was nothing that she could see. “C’mon we have to get off the bridge!” called the driver as more people started running towards them. Ev nodded her head as she began to move with the driver going along with the flow of everyone running.

Just as Ev passed the third car in front of the town car the whole line of cars jerked forward and someone screamed in panic. Ev looked over and spotted a panicked mom trying to desperately get her young daughter out of her car seat before the car was pushed forward again. Moving quickly to the mom’s side Ev placed a hand on her shoulder to calm her down.

“Here, let me help.” Ev said reassuringly as she moved the mom out of the way and smiled brightly at the crying little girl. “Hey there sweetheart, I’m gonna get you out okay?” Ev said to the little girl in a soft voice. Her hands moved as quickly as she could even with her cast still on. When she managed to unhook the car seat belt she quickly scooped the little girl into her arms and turned towards the mom, easily handing her off to the panicked mom. Just as her back was turned the line of cars lurched forward again and Ev looked wide eyed at the mom before ushering her away from the cars and down the street. “Go, go quickly. Get outta here.” Ev urged the woman who took off running while cuddling her daughter close to her body. 

There was another scream from behind her and Ev turned to watch as a minivan flew in the air and over the railing of the bridge. Her eyes widened as her eyes left the flying car to notice a dark silhouette of a large figure with a long tail that stood in front of a pair of headlights. He lifted his head towards the sky and opened his mouth letting out a loud roar that hurt Ev’s ears and made her cover them with her hands to block out the sound.

People screamed and yelled around her as they all began to run down the bridge trying to get away from the creature. Ev was shoved into the side of a SUV harshly making her cry out in pain as everyone rushed around her.

“Help! Someone! Please help me get out of here!” came a shout to the side and Ev turned to see an elderly woman struggling with the door handle of her car door. Hurrying over to the car Ev pressed her hand against the window before trying the door handle without any luck of opening it. She moved to the back seat door and was able to open the door with ease.

“Ma’am are you able to climb over the seat?” Ev called to the woman as her head turned to look at where the creature was. Fear was slowly creeping up her spine as her eyes darted around the bridge looking for the creature. Just then the elderly woman grabbed onto Ev’s forearm making her jolt in fear before turning her head to the woman. She slowly helped the woman out of the car and suddenly there was a panicked looking young man running up to the two of them.

“Grandma! What are you doing?! We gotta get outta here!” shouted the young man and he nodded his head at Ev while guiding the woman down the bridge. There was another loud roar and Ev ducked her head instinctively before she began to run down the bridge away from the creature.

As she ran Ev could hear this odd swishing noise and when she turned her head she spotted a red and blue blur flying through the air. When she realized what it was she ran over to the side of the bridge to lean over the railing and watched as Peter in the Spiderman costume swung through the air webbing the cars and hanging them from the bridge before they could fall into the water below. She cheered loudly as she threw a fist into the air with pride as she watched Peter save the people in the cars that were flung over the railing.

Just as Ev leans farther over the railing while watching Peter swing along the bridge there’s a loud roar sounding behind her and Ev feels something heavy hit her in the back knocking her over the railing. Ev screams as she feels her body start to fall through the air as the shock of her situation quickly clears and fear consumes her. Raising her arms up towards her head she screams once again as her body hurtles towards the water below her. 

She’s resigned herself to her fate and expects to hit the water and be submerged in the cold murky water but suddenly she feels an arm wrap around her waist tightly as a lean body presses against her own. The feeling of swinging upwards catches her attention and she opens her eyes to see the dark water of the East River falling away from her. Panic and fear consume her and Ev screams loudly as her arms wrap tightly around the warm body pressed against her.

“I got you Ev! I got you!” Peter shouts trying to calm her down. Ev buries her face in his neck and chest as she tries to press her body closer to his own to block out the image of herself swinging with him. “Relax, I got you.” he says to her gently as he lands on one of the under support beams of the bridge. He steadies the two of them so that they have sturdy firm footing and begins to shoot another web towards the bridge so that he can swing them up onto the bridge when suddenly there’s louds cries for help from above them.

“Help! My son! My son’s in the car!” comes a loud shout from a few feet down the bridge.

“Dad! Help me!” shouts a scared little boy in a car that’s webbed to the bridge. Ev and Peter whip their heads up quickly to stare at where the frantic father is looking over the bridge railing. A low growling sounds from above them and Ev gasps as her and Peter whip their heads to see the tail of the creature slipping along the bridge railing just above them. Ev begins to shake when she realizes that Peter needs to go save the boy and doesn’t have time to safely get her back up onto the bridge.

“You have to go save the boy.” She reassures him and Peter looks down at her with his mask firmly on his head for a quiet moment. “I’m gonna have to get over my fear of heights. Just web me to the bridge so that I won’t fall.” she insists and Peter nods his head before webbing her waist to the bridge support beam before he’s swinging off to the car that holds the scared little boy.

Ev sucks in a harsh breath and tightly closes her eyes as she tries to calm her nerves down. Adrenaline is still coursing through her veins from the fall that Peter saved her from but fear is quickly consuming her. Shifting her feet slightly she tries to ground herself by feeling the sturdy support beam underneath her sneakers. She can feel her heartbeat slowing to a normal speed and begins to congratulate herself on calming herself down when she hears the loud growl of the creature. Her heart rate skyrockets once again and her eyes snap open in fear hoping that the creature wouldn’t climb down to her.

After a moment her eyes widen as she notices the car that Peter is crouched on, snaps the web that was attached to it and he shoots another web and grabs the car. She can hear him faintly talking to the boy in the car without his mask on but she can’t really hear what he’s saying. And then the car catches on fire at the engine and Ev gasps loudly into the air as she watches Peter urge the boy to climb quickly out of the car to him. Her eyes dart to the bumper of the car that Peter’s got a hold of and sees it bowing under the weight of the car. 

“No!” shouts Peter just as a loud snap is heard and the car starts to fall towards the water. Ev holds her breath as she watches Peter shoot a web into the falling car and successfully grabs the scared boy who’s wearing the Spiderman mask.

“Yes!” she screams triumphantly while pumping her fist into the air. She screeches slightly when her feet slip in her joy and she grabs onto the web that holds her securely to the support beam. She had almost forgotten that she was hanging onto the bridge above the water. When she looks up the boy and Peter are staring at her as they dangle on the web, Peter shakes his head slightly before the boy turns to him and places the mask on his head for him. Ev feels her heart swell with pride and happiness for Peter as he slowly brings the two of them up to the bridge. 

Ev tries to wait patiently for Peter but her fear of heights is starting to consume her again, she closes her eyes tightly and holds desperately to the web around her waist as she tries to slow her breath to calm herself down. She gasps loudly when she feels Peter land on the support beam with her and her eyes pop open to stare straight into the Spiderman mask. His hands held her at her waist as his body pressed against her own, crowding her back against the metal support beam.

“Are you okay?” he asks softly and Ev nods her head as her hands grip his biceps firmly to ground herself.

“Yeah, now I am. I wanna get down though. This is too much.” she rushes out and stares only into the large white eyes of the mask. She doesn’t want to look around at where they are because she knows that she’ll just freeze up with fear once again.

“Okay, okay. I got you, don’t worry.” Peter says softly as he nods his head. Ev shuts her eyes as she feels Peter rip away the webs around her waist and his arm wraps around her waist securely before he’s turning them away from the support beam. Ev wraps her arms securely around his neck and buries her face in his chest hoping to quickly get this over with and get home. 

When Peter swings them from the support beam Ev tightens her grip around his neck and tangles her legs with his so that she doesn’t feel as if she is dangling in the air. Her legs move with Peter’s as he swings them away from the bridge and back to Queens where he takes her back to his place. He lands them at the back door of Aunt May’s house and steadies her gently before he drops his backpack and grabs his normal clothes.

Ev watches still dazed from the long trek home, her eyes watch as he slips his favorite hoodie on and familiar jeans on before stashing his mask in the back pack. He looks down at her and wraps her tightly in a warm hug that has her breath hitching as all of her emotions focus. Her hands grip the back of his hoodie tightly as she tries to take in deep breaths to calm herself. None seems to be working as her emotions of the whole bridge ordeal rise up to drown her.

“Easy Ev.” Peter says softly into her ear and it’s as if air was forced back into her lungs just by his words. She gasps loudly and lets out a low pitiful cry that makes Peter hug her tighter in his embrace. “C’mon let’s get you inside. Text your Dad that you’re okay and we’ll go to bed. Are you hungry? Did you eat?” he informs her before asking worriedly. His head lifts to stare down into her teary eyes and she shakes her head at his question. “Alright let’s get you some food first and then we’ll head to bed.” he says confidently as he nods his head.

Ev is still dazed as she tries to process all of the emotions swirling within her as she sits at Aunt May’s dining room table while Peter makes her a sandwich to eat. She texts her Dad that she’s okay and back at Peter’s place right as Peter sets her plate down in front of her. Aunt May watches the two of them from the kitchen and Peter sits down next to Ev to nudge her into eating the sandwich. He waits patiently as she eats and when she’s done he easily takes the plate into the kitchen quietly letting Aunt May know that he’ll wash the dishes tomorrow.

“Don’t worry about the dishes. Just take care of Ev.” Aunt May said softly as she placed a gentle hand on Peter’s forearm. She smiled up at him before nodding her head at him. Peter smiled gently and nodded his head before turning and walking over to Ev. He gently guided her to stand and directed her to the stairs before looking over his shoulder to see Aunt May watching the two of them with a soft smile on her face.

When they were both up in Peter’s room he rummaged through his drawers before pulling out a pair of black sweatpants and a well worn long sleeve shirt that she had left here along with other clothes. Peter handed the clothes to her and she moved to his attached bathroom in silence. Rushing to get changed himself Peter worried quietly about her quiet disposition but he hopes it’s just because of everything that had gone on tonight.

Peter is storing his suit in the closet when he hears the bathroom door open slowly. He turns to see Ev stepping into the room dressed in the clothes he gave her and Peter smiles as he realizes how comfy she looks in the clothes. She moves over to the bed and flops into it while leaving her face pressed into the bedspread. Peter chuckles and walks over to the bed before crawling into it and curving his body around her as he wraps his arms around her securely.

“You okay?” he asks softly and Ev shakes her head as she turns to press herself into his body.

“No. A giant freak with a tail knocked me off the Williamsburg Bridge.” she grumbled out loudly enough for him to hear her and he chuckled softly at her words. Peter relaxed in the bed with her in his arms knowing that she would be okay if she was being sarcastic with him already.

“I’ll always save you Ev. No matter what I’ll always come and save you.” he promised to her and Ev hummed softly at him as she cuddled closer into his chest.

“I know webhead. But no more swinging me around, I thought I was gonna puke when we left the bridge.” she grumbled at him. The smile on his face was wide and happy as Peter adjusted her in his arms before falling asleep with her in the bed.

[youngestdaughtersyndrome]

and i have a story to tell you it wasn’t a dream but it was fucked up like one. when i was hmm probably 10. i was in grade 5. and i had this best friend who was the worst person alive. she was a compulsive liar and she made up stories for attention and she would purposefully exaggerate things to make them seem like she was idk more scandalized than she was. so she started this whole story that she had a stalker who started stalking her in dairy queen and would follow her everywhere she went. obviously she had no proof of this (because it wasn’t true) and by the time she was fully in deep with the stalker thing i kinda knew she was lying. so one night i was at home and she started texting me that her parents were gone and it was just her and her brother home alone and that the stalker was breaking into their house. and i knew it was a lie but i was still like. hmm there’s a possibility this is true here. so i was like panicking trying to get her to safety. she said she and her brother were hiding in their downstairs bathroom and eventually that they could hear his footsteps upstairs. and i told them to call the police because!! if there is an intruder in your house why wouldn’t you call the police. but she’s very adamantly like no i’m not going to call the police i’m just going to wait until he leaves. but like. he very well could not leave yknow. so i’m like fuck this and i call the cops for her and literally while i’m on the phone with them she starts frantically texting me that he left and she’s okay and they don’t need cops she’s literally begging me to tell the cops not to worry. so then the call with the cops ends and i text her again and she admits that nothing she said was true. she was still very much like yeah i have a stalker 😌💅 but she said that he had never been in her house. fast forward she stops talking to me that night and then bam bam bam a cop is knocking on my door i think i’m gonna get arrested for calling them on a false alarm but turns out they’re just there to make sure i’m good. it makes me tell my mom about everything and my mom tells me that i should probably not be friends with that girl anymore and i’m like yeah that’s fair. that’s the end of that night. next day at school in the morning she’s like ugh you should’ve let me handle that and i tell her my thought process. then we kinda ignore it for the rest of the day until the end of the day. we were walking back from the library to our classroom and there were a bunch of parents there waiting to pick their kids up and uh oh my friends dad was there. and he calls me over as i pass and my stomach just drops so far down i thought i fell out of my asshole. and he gets all up in my face yelling at me about how there were cops all around his house blocking off roads etc etc and how irresponsible i was for calling them when there was nothing there etc. he definitely said more but i was 10 and scared because there was this grown ass man 300lb yelling in my face so i don’t remember it all. in the end he said i wasn’t allowed at his house anymore and that was fair i didn’t want to be there ever again.

we stopped being friends not long after and it kinda blew up everything i had because people kinda treated it like a divorce and took her side in it so i ended that year with no friends very sad. during that blow up too it was very dramatic but she still couldn’t stop lying to people she told people that bc of the drama we both had to spend a night in jail which was so wrong. i don’t know how she kept all her friends she was so toxic. i was friends with her during my oh my god i might be gay phase but she was one of those people who was like. lesbians are gross and unnatural and if one of my friends told me they were a lesbian i would beat them up so they didn’t have a crush on me. but also fetishized gay men. thankfully in grade 6 my school would take all the grade 6s to like a camp thing and spend a few days there at the beginning of the year and on the bus up there i sat next to my now best friend and he really embraced my queerness. over the summer break i was kinda going back and forth over me being gay, bi, maybe i’m straight and just find girls pretty, etc. and on the bus ride back from the camp my friend asked me if i was gay so i feel like my previous friend could sense i was queer and purposefully said these terrible homophobic things so i wouldn’t come out or come to terms with it and so she would never have a lesbian friend.

WTF THATS SOOOO SHITTY. I HAVE NEVER WANTED TO PUNCH SOMEONE MORE KILLING HER KILLING HER KILLING HER KILLING HER KILLING HER!!!!!!!!!!!!

[starry-hughes]

we need to talk about charlie and trevor’s family! like they would charlie and now charlie doesn’t only have no one she has Trevor and his family, like his sister is so happy there’s a girl in the family and she’s actually tolerating not like trevor’s old gf’s, griffin is exicted for another sister and is like awwwww she is so adorable and trevor’s parents absolutely adore charlie seeing how much their son is in love and how caring charlie is too Trevor they couldn’t ask for anyone better for their son

the first time she meets his brother, it’s in anaheim, less stress meeting one family member. and afterwards, charlie is nervous that he didn’t like her. trevor just smiles, “he liked you.” as he looks at the text to the family groupchat from griffin saying that charlie was amazing to meet.

then trevor brings her home with him. she’s really nervous. quiet the whole flight there. has to take a breather in the airport bathroom before going out to meet his family.

they adore her so much. she walks into the house and immediately feels welcomed. “come in sweetheart! please make yourself comfortable. trevor take her bags to the room please. oh, did you want to sleep in trevor’s room with him or the guest room? we really don’t mind if you two share a room, it’s up to you.”

charlie looks at trevor a bit panicked he’s going to leave her there to go put stuff away. “mom you’re freaking her out. she can sleep in my room, charlie i’ll be back in a second i promise.”

“we were just preparing dinner, come on.” she’s pretty silent as she meets his dad and sister. “i can help set the table,” she offers. “no worries hun, we’ve got it! just go relax.”

trevor comes up behind her, making her jump slightly as he drapes an arm around her shoulders. “mom, dad, sis, this is charlie. griff you already know her. she’s quiet so just let her warm up, yeah?”

[sarahjanesdiary]

April 12th 2024

I have such a strange relationship with “work.” Not the physical demands or how complicated the job may be just.. work as a whole. I struggle to remember things like.. Friday my tire was flat before I left work to go home. That day I pumped it then went home and just forgot the event happened. I had 4 days off. This morning I started to leave and what do you know… my tire was flat again. I forgot to take care of the issue and now I have to go to work again. (Shame 1 - Sarah 0)

I call my sister because she lives close but she’s actually at our moms’ this morning, too far. My friend lives close by, I ask her to help me with my tire and I message my boss. Twenty minutes to type a text asking if I can come in an hour late. “Okay” (Shame 2 - Sarah 0)

I start down the road after my friend drives away. I make it 5 minutes down the road. The car starts overheating. 

I pull over. I turn on my blinkers. I close my eyes.

I can’t do this today.

I message my boss and apologize. I call off. (Shame 3 - Sarah 0)

I drop my things off in my living room. I sit down. I pick up Stardew Valley. 50 pounds in my shoes. 

So now what? Do I spend the rest of my day doing productive things to make myself feel better for calling off? Do I listen to self-help podcasts to try to fight this overwhelm that is coming up? Do I go to sleep, or take a nap? 

I feel like so easily these feelings can take me on this troubling emotional ride that leaves me feeling broken and panicked. 

Bad morning - Bad day - Bad life 

But that’s silly. That doesn’t make sense. How can I go from having a bad morning to “Where’s the closest bridge?” 

Why is it me against me?

I’m in the ring with a blob of a monster. They’re tall, frightening, casting shadows on me they’re so large. I’m so scared. I’m watching it come closer and I can feel my body trembling. My stomach is upset, my hands sweaty, crying/snotty. I’m petrified. Anyone would be if they saw this. If they were in the same ring with this monster every day. 

The monster isn’t a monster at all. The monster ends up being like one of those costumed characters from Scooby Doo. Take the mask off and there’s a real monster I think except… It’s me. Little me. Child me. 

I’m just a kid stuck in protective armor. Trying to seem big and scary to protect me. I guess us. 

Edit: I wrote this on a day when I felt fed up, tired, and all-around shitty. Unreliable. Chronically late. Subpar job. 

I did it again. catastrophizing.  

I spent some time in the little outdoor area. Read the names of the “in memory of” stones. (I work as a housekeeper at a hospice. I’m fun at parties.) Drank my Pepsi for lunch. Not ideal but I just wasn’t hungry. I don’t know why. 

I wrote on my phone about an interaction I had with my sister and a patient. I felt inspired by her I think. Both of them. 

I came home and spent such a good evening with Brian. God that man. He makes me feel safe. Being in his arms, I truly understand what it means to have your worries melt away. 

There have been times like over dad, where I cried for so long I didn’t know if it was gonna fuckin stop. But then there are times like today when I immediately fell into him. melted.  

[hiscoregirlxx]

being unwanted and thrown away must be a core childhood trauma for me. i remember at kindergarten there were mandatory afternoon naps every day. usually parents came to pick their children up during naptime. I could never sleep, not even once. The whole time I was thinking about my parents. When will they come? Every time the door opened i looked, hoping it was my mom. Every time i heard an ambulance or police siren, i panicked, what if my mom or dad got into an accident and they will never come for me and I’ll be left there forever. I was in constant fear. Then naptime was over, we could get up, put our beds away, and draw or play quietly until the parents arrive. i loved drawing. there was this one picture i loved to draw. a big headed boy with spiky hair walking down a road alone, waving. Sometimes i was the last picked up. My parents never apologized, never tried to look for excuses. They had no idea what went down inside me in that couple of hours I was waiting for them to arrive. This is exactly what i feel right now. You don’t text me for days, i immediately think you forgot about me, you hate me, you found someone else. As soon as i start fostering romantic connections with someone, fear comes in like a lightning and slices my heart into two bloody chunks. why am i cursed? as soon as i start to love someone, fear of them leaving me, throwing me away, not wanting me anymore comes in too. They come hand in hand. I wonder what it is like to live differently. How it feels to love someone when you’re a healthy person. Cuz like this, love hurts. Like Hell.

[fanficpoet]

Give me your Worst(bonus content)

credit from Pinterest  @tipsyllama

BONUS CONTENT 

9th grade- 16 years old 

 “Do I look high?” I asked when I got a text from my mom saying dads coming home earlier than usual. It was uncommon and I was panicking. I started packing my stuff in a hurry trying to figure out how to get home quickly.

“Ralia dude chill the fuck out I will get you home faster then you can speak spanish.” 

 There are two things in this world i currently have a detest right now, my father and Mari telling me to chill the fuck out. I was petrified of the words coming out of her mouth. 

 Swinging a keyring around her finger and laughing, “trust me princess we will be getting you there on time.” 

 Pull the trigger on me right now. Shoot me. 

 Marilynn got her license the minute she turned sixteen. It was the one thing her brother Kyle promised to get her. I love her but she is a shit driver. It really was the one thing that I would rather be shot over than get into a car with her. 

 I was about to state how terrible of an idea it would be for me but before I could, however,  I was being pushed into a car. 

The cluck and shake of her car would be a dead give away to not get into said car. 

 Marilynn sang the whole way home to “another one bites the dust” . I love her but she has the music taste of a deadbeat father. She also doesn’t have such a sublime singing voice. 

 As we got closer to my gated neighborhood I told her to pull over so I wasn’t seen with her. I hated having to hide my friendship with her because she wasn't like one of us driving a nice car or had rich parents to buy her the nicest clothes. It was a secretive lifestyle I was born to live. 

I grabbed my perfume and quickly changed clothes in the backseat of the car so I didn't smell like weed. I started doing this because the people my mom paid for our laundry mentioned the smell. So, I had to start keeping a set of weed smoking clothes just for days like this. I would throw away those clothes everyday. This was my addiction at its highest point. I would hide and run away just to live with these secrets hoping they die with me. 

  I walked the rest of the way home. I took out a textbook from my backpack and every so often I would pretend to read it. It always felt like the eyes of my neighbors were constantly looking at me. For us being so rich they lived such boring lives. Drama was the only thing that fueled their lifestyle

 As I was walking I bumped into someone “watch where you are going, bitch.” I immediately took off running. No real reason I was paranoid. When I got home I saw my dad's car in the driveway. 

 “Okay, honey I get it. I will handle the bills this month, don't worry about it. I have everything under control.” calmly trying to handle my drunken father. 

 I slowly opened the door making sure I wouldn’t get unwanted attention but life is unfair and I must suffer the consequences for choosing to not be perfect. 

 “Why are you home so late huh? Who do you think pays the bills for you to eat, sleep, and breathe? I work hard and you aren’t even home before I am?”  he slurs angrily, tipping over to the right while standing. 

 “I was studying after school with some friends from the neighborhood. I walked home for some exercise.” I say calmly hoping this thing doesn’t pick up on my lies. 

 Before he could try and traumatize me some more the phone rings and that becomes my queue to leave the scene before I get booed offstage. 

  On days like this, I like to study or work on my many skills I need to learn. Anger fuels my passion for my future to escape. I used to be in karate until my mother took me out to be more lady-like. So now I currently draw and take my art on display in my closet for only my eyes to see. 

After hearing what sounds like a riveting conversation I hear the front door close and my mothers silent tears. I would’ve felt bad if this wasn’t so normalized. I wonder if her past self made her have this intense pain in this life. 

 ~”We are living for love”~ Dancing in the rain plays while the rain outside calms me from the rise of anxiety I feel sitting in my room. My normalized life of loneliness and acceptance that I will never be good enough. That nothing will stop my never-ending loud silence.

[cloudystevie]

that was probably the shittiest thing ive ever had to go through and i was supposed to be super productive today and now i just feel sick to my stomach