#and i will talk for years and years about haku telling naruto ‘you want your whole village to recognize you but what if you met one person

[sasukesun]

Hey, how are u?

Also, I wanted to ask what do you think about Naruto and Sasura’s relationship nature. I mean, do you think he ever truly loved her? His speech in shippuden about his feelings for her seemed really genuine, but except that I don’t really see love in his behavior, more like a childish crush? I don’t buy what was said in The Last about him trying to hit on her only to win with Sasuke, it doesn’t really makes sense to me. Anyway, what is your opinion? Thanks for answering xo

hello anon, i’m fine.

naruto’s behaviour towards sakura and overall attraction to women is inconsistent. we can easily tell that he truly never had romantic feelings for her, but a crush is, in my opinion, debatable… and really a crush in the sense of “she’s cute, i like her” kind of thing, which is basically what we see when sakura is introduced

now what is interesting is that the last wasn’t wrong to show that maybe it was about sasuke, it just definitely wasn’t so naruto could compete with sasuke

“i feel like i finally understand why i like her” right after sakura said she wants to be acknowledged by sasuke because she likes him? really? we know that naruto wants to be acknowledged by everyone, that’s the core of his character, but in this context, this just seems kinda ambiguous… he doesn’t wanna win over sasuke, he just wants his acknowledgement. when you take naruto’s interactions with sasuke and sakura into consideration after this quote, as well his behaviour, you see that basically naruto mimics heterosexuality by pretending to like sakura, while actually focusing his attention on sasuke, he mistakes his feelings/attraction for sasuke for a rivalry at first and a friendship later. i’ll give you some examples.

he doesn’t have much tact to compliment sakura. i know this is what she wanted to hear, but i just find it so funny honestly.

there are also a few more moments involving sakura’s appearance and naruto, in which a) naruto says haku is prettier than her b) naruto says after two years that they haven’t seen each other that she looked the same even though it seems by her body language that she wanted to be complimented and c) when other people called sakura ugly and naruto didn’t even comment about it or tried to defend her. now let’s look at this

is there some need to defend sasuke’s honour or something? no one is even insulting sasuke here, just comparing him and sai. the japanese word naruto uses here can be used to compliment someone’s looks btw and he not only says it, but he emphasises it at the end. there’s pretty much a huge gap between “the cute girl” he’s supposed to like a lot and sasuke, who is above it.

how about when naruto is just doing absolutely nothing but thinking of sasuke

until he gets interrupted by sakura… so he says he was planning to go on a date with her. are you for real?

this one is even funnier… sakura is taking care of naruto after he hurt his arm with rasenshuriken. someone in love would surely be happy to be closer to your loved one while they are healing you, and it’s what it seems that naruto is gonna say

until you turn to the next page

he’s just really happy they are in this together… for sasuke. you really can’t make this shit up.

i’ve also pointed out that in the chapter in which sakura decides to fake confess to naruto and go after sasuke to kill him, sakura says “that fool’s got such a crush on me” about naruto, and yet the only appearance naruto makes in the same chapter is him lying down and pining over sasuke. yikes.

the only “narusaku” moment during war on naruto’s part is when minato asks naruto if sakura is his girlfriend to which he reacts like

it’s not only that this is comic relief and it just seems like he wants to look good in front of his father, because he already knows about his mom’s speech and wishes when his parents died, it’s also that he hesitates to answer it.

but when he’s saying goodbye and really referencing the whole speech topic by topic and talking about important things…

he deflects the subject. very convenient and smart of kishimoto when he’s not allowed to explicitly say what he wants to, such as homosexuality.

and of course, there’s the infamous fake confession

in which naruto basically looks annoyed... not the reaction of someone who is in love, i would say.

and the cherry on top

the promise he made to sakura hasn’t changed anything, he would act the same with or without it.

narusaku dead and buried.

those inconsistencies happen over and over and they always involve sasuke somehow… like i said, projecting his real feelings for sasuke onto sakura. now if you think he thought she was cute and all, i can give you the benefit of the doubt, but being in love with her? no way. naruto has never loved her like that, and i honestly can’t even tell that he loved as a friend either when he pretty much treats her the same way he treats his other konoha comrades: takes responsibility for everything and doesn’t let anyone get involved…

…unless it’s sasuke, obviously, then he will bear his burdens and see so much pain that he just can’t leave it alone.

[mayullla]

Title: Wonderland Chesire Cat

Character(s): Shisui Uchiha (Naruto)

Summary: When an Alice leaves wonderland (Be that they died or managed to escape the place), a new Alice falls from the rabbit hole. Faith strings pull and look at your memories and thoughts and decide how the residents of wonderland would look at the new Alice. The first Alice was loved and cared for, after they died many grieved their death. The next Alice was hotty, spoiled and uncaring they died because they were abandoned by the residents. The next died becoming an experiment of a resident they too were not loved and the next and the next and the next. The residents adopted the idea that whenever a new Alice comes they would experience a horrible faith in the end... well that is when you came along. A small 10 year old child.

Today you will meet the Chesire Cat.

Warnings/tags: Yandere themes (Platonic), Kidnapping

Shisui watched you, as you tried to get out of the wonderland forest lost and unable to understand the signs that littered the path. One said left while pointing right while the other said right while pointing left and pointed down and said moon while one pointed at a flower and said poison. Some talked about locations too like the mad hatter's mansion. But one sign pointed one way while another pointed at another path.

"Mister cat can you please help me?" You asked in hopes that the man with cat ears and tail will help out of the forest. You have been running around in circles this whole time and were getting tired of it. The signs are hard to understand and some are just nonsensical.

"Well, that depends, Alice. What will you do if I do help you?" Shisui asked chuckling at your confusion and worry. He was the one who set everything up after all.

"Hmmm what do you want mister cat?" You asked innocently, tilting your head. "Well I don't know either," Shisui replied, grinning widely teeth were pearly white but sharp. Shisui doesn't have much want in his life… well more like there was something that he was interested in but it seems that he already managed to get it.

"Hmmm do you want a story then? I am good at those!" You said to the cat man, you yelped when he was suddenly in front of you near to your face. "Hmmmm sure maybe?" Shisui smirked, his tail swaying slowly as if amused.

"Then how about the story "puss in boots"! It is my favorite story that my mom tells me when I am having a hard time sleeping cause of the darkness. It always manages to make me sleepy." You admitted, this story even tho gets you excited to listen to the most is also the one that makes you very sleepy.

Shisui listened to your bright, cheerful voice as you excitedly told him the story about puss in boots. He wanted to keep you here with him hidden away from the cruel world scared that you will die because of the resident that lives in wonderland. He knows that the mad scientist Orochimaru had a thing for experimenting on small kids that was the faith of one of the Alices... you.

And Shisui didn’t want you to have that faith.

Shisui watched over you when you fell from the rabbit hole. He saw Haku the white rabbit looking rather excited and was curious to know what happened, when he saw you he was shocked at how young you were and decided to follow you. As you innocently walked around wonderland with this bright smile on your face Shisui grew to like you a lot.

He saw how naive you were and he didn’t want that to be tainted so he would more often than not go ahead of you, clearing the path. Shisui didn’t want you to see people fighting, slicing each other heads, burning each other and just things that no child should see. He wished that Itachi never saw those morbid things at a young age and looking at you he felt like he was given another chance.

“Mister, you have cat ears?” You asked, bringing him back to reality. “Are they real?”

He grinned at you, you both were under a tree resting as he laid on his back on the soft grass and you sat leaning on a tree.

“Can I touch it?” You asked, blinking at Shisui’s ears as they moved on their own. You really want to touch them as they looked soft and fluffy.

“I don’t know kid.” Shisui teased.

“Pleaseeee”

“Fineee, just this once.”

You hesitantly touched his ears, careful not to roughly tug it. You have a cat at home, a red kitten named Garra. You giggled, you were right Shisui’s ears are really soft. You giggled, even more, when you heard Shisui purr in content.

The more you pet him the more sleepy you become.. or was it before that when you were telling him the story of puss in boots, you were a bit tired then.

You yawned rubbing your eyes, talking to keep yourself awake. “Are you the cat in puss in boots?” You mumbled when sleep took you from your senses.

Shisui watched you fall asleep. “I am the Chesire cat ____. But I will gladly be puss in boots if I am able to protect you and make you smile.”

You yawned again and before you can answer sleep quickly took you.

He smiled, it wasn’t as bright as the smile before more of a soft one, one filled with adoration. Picking you up he walked deeper into the forest thinking of that small house he inherited from his grandparents that were in the middle of no were.

He can protect you there.

He glanced at the flowers and the sign that was pointing at them with the word ‘poison’ written on it.

Being near to those flowers while weaker than other kinds of poisonous flowers. If within the radius a person with no poison tolerance will end up falling asleep if exposed for a certain amount of time.

“I will keep you safe.”

[cuteconsortboys]

Hello!

How would the Naruto boys react to a disappointed wife who wasn't able to successfully get a good deal with a near country?

Thabks and feel free to turn down! Btw love you a lot and be safe!

Hello!! You're very sweet, you be safe too and I hope you enjoy! <33 I just picked a couple of the boys. 

Naruto - He can tell the minute he sees the Empress's face when she walks into the harem after the meetings that things didn't go so well. He gives her an invigorating speech about how it'll all work out soon. If that doesn't work, he'll probably try and entice her into some of the old shenanigans they used to get up to when they were kids. Maybe running in the gardens at night, or sneaking into the kitchens to steal food. Just something to make her forget about everything for one evening.

"Aww, I'm sure you'll be able to get them to agree next time! And if not, I heard the cook's been making these amazing new flatbreads, I'm sure they won't notice if a few go missing!"

Sasuke - Talking to Sasuke about this is good for the ego. The ways he talks about how stupid these idiots are for turning it down makes the Empress feel less like it's her fault. The Empress is probably trained with a sword, so Sasuke offers to go and spar to burn off any lingering energy from the meetings too.

"They're idiots not to agree. You'll show them. Give it a few years and they'll be begging for another chance."

Kakashi - He approaches it from a practical perspective at first, suggesting that if they know why the deal fell through, they can now rework the strategy and try again. If they still don’t cheer up, he isn’t really sure what to do... Food and head pats??? That works on his dogs??? He sends a servant to bring some food and just pats the Empress on the head with a “there, there.” He’s so awkward, I love him haha. 

"Rework the plan. You know why they turned you down, so that means you can fix it."

Gaara - Gaara is very knowledgeable on politics, but he’s not the kind of person to prioritise constantly retrying the same leads again and again, instead he likes to look for new solutions. He writes off this deal as unsuccessful, but why did you want that deal? Is there another country who can offer what you need? Can we live without the deal? At the end of the discussion, he absolutely offers his room for the Empress to rest in tonight with him. He doesn’t mean it as a innuendo though, he means it literally. 

“Hmm, yes, those ambassadors are known for being especially difficult, it isn’t your fault. Perhaps there is another way to solve the problem?”

Haku - He is hesitant to give his opinion and decides against saying anything specific about the deal. He doesn’t feel like it’s his place to do so. Instead he focuses on getting the Empress to feel better. He initially thinks about offering to dance for her, but he gets embarrassed about that and instead offers a walk in the gardens, or if it is winter, maybe some tea and cakes. He will definitely accept any advances the Empress may make towards him, but he’s too shy to offer it unprompted haha. 

“I’m sorry to hear that. Perhaps a walk in the gardens might be nice?”

Shikamaru - He almost certainly had a big role in helping you design this proposal, so when you walk in shaking your head, he’s frustrated. There isn’t going to be an early night for him tonight because now you both have to go through everything to figure out what happened and bring Shikamaru up to speed. This whole thing is troublesome...

“Fuck... Alright, let’s go through this.”

[tgirlhawkins]

📓!!!!!!

thank u wolfy uwu

allow me to introduce you to the Fuck This I’m Your Dad Now au

it starts when hiruzen is in kumo for some reason (kage summit, peace talks idk. it’s been 2-3 years since the hinata incident idk if they’re still talking about that) and he’s talking to killer b. b asks how the nine tails jinchuriki is doing, and hiruzen’s like he’s fine. going to the academy now. he’s spent all his allowance a couple months in a row though which isn’t ideal. b’s like what do you mean? and hiruzen explains how all the orphans under genin age (during peace time when they’re not graduating kids early) get a set amount of money for rent and groceries. he doesn’t have an adult taking care of him? b asks, remembering at the age the jinchuriki must be he himself could barely do two digit math, forget budgeting. no, hiruzen assures him, he’s plenty capable of taking care of himself.

b is skeptical.

so this man runs down to konoha and octopuses over the wall (dw he’ll be back in kumo before they know it!) he follows gyuki’s directions to find naruto, who is seven years old and punching a punching bag in his otherwise empty but very plant-filled apartment. gyuki suggests he goes in through the actual door because if he tried the (wide open) windows the anbu might snipe him. killer b then proceeds to sneak his way into the apartment building and knocks on naruto’s door.

he’s literally so small b can’t handle it. naruto is so excited to have someone to talk to!! does he want some ramen? it’s getting to be dinner time. b tries to turn him down but he insists. he has a coupon for the next time he goes to the store.

b figures out quickly naruto has no idea what a jinchuriki is or that he is one so he tells him, and also tells him about his parents because he thinks it’s messed up he doesn’t know. it’s emotional but he tries to help him process it. he’ll go out and get them ice cream or something, how about that?

they both go out and b sees hinata, who’s going around testing her byakugan by,,kind of like a scavenger hunt, she has to collect a bunch of items that have been hidden for her to find. he gets it in his head that he has to apologize to her for what happened, but before he can do that neji, who’s been tailing hinata, drops off a building and decks him.

naruto yells at him for trying to beat up his new friend but b’s like it’s ok, though neji is skilled he is also little (8!) and can’t do that much damage to him. after figuring out exactly who he is b apologizes to him too, and for once in his life an adult is telling neji that his dad dying was bad and shouldn’t have happened. a few minutes ago neji was ready to do everything in his eight-year-old power to kill this guy, but now he’s feeling extremely conflicted. hinata comes back to figure out where neji went so he gets to talk to her too.

Something happens where b has to flee the village and naruto, hinata and neji come too. at the same time kumo ofc figured out b was gone and sent a team out to get him back, and against anyone’s better judgement yugito sets off on her own to find him first. she does, and they have a reunion in which he couldn’t just leave them there :\ and she’s like yeah i know you couldn’t. 

they can’t go back to kumo right now, but they also can’t leave it undefended against the other nations that still have their jinchuriki. so they decide to just round up all the jinchuriki in the meantime so that nobody can attack anyone else (this isn’t strictly true but it’s fine. it’s fine.)

next up is gaara! baby naruto sweet talks him into joining their little team :) also gyuki comes out and eats rasa. it’s a time. 

they camp in the forest, everyone is concerned about gaara’s relationship to shukaku, and they’re going to go get fu next. meanwhile in the land of water news finally arrives that the kumo jinchuriki are stealing the others from their villages, and zabuza decides he has to get in on that for his own storm kiri and start a revolution plan. haku is there and he’s like ten. also small and adorable.

and that’s what i’ve got. will i ever properly write this? i don’t know. it’s a big project for little ol me :P

[dai-nana-han-agenda]

HIIIII!! I really realllly love reading your tags on your retweets! It's one of my favorite things to see while scrolling down my TL. I was wondering if you have any of your fave TEAM 7 gen fics you could recommend? 💖💕 preferably no ships and just something that focuses on their dynamic and growing solidarity with each other!

HELLO! thank you so much omfg 💖 i’m so so sorry it took me so long to respond, i had the answer all drafted out and ready to go and then my dumb ass CLOSED THE TAB and i lost everything 😭 i had to rewrite the post which took a while FJDFSJ but it’s here now!! i really hope these are fics you haven’t seen/read before (omfg could you imagine if you’ve read every fic on this list i’d feel so bad 😭) but yeah!! i hope this helps!! 💖

(also side note, your icon is SO cute, i always see it in my notifs but i never got the chance to tell you until now LOLOL)

MULTI-CHAPTER

komorebi by tomorrowsrain ─ okay, i know you said preferably no ships (we’re already off to a rocky start FDJFKSJ) but this is literally my favorite team 7 fic ever, it’s impossible for me not to include it. it’s kakaobi, and team 7 doesn’t come in until ch. 3 of the first part, but i highly HIGHLY recommend it. seriously, this is my absolute favorite characterization of the members of team 7 & their dynamic, the author does such a good job of building their relationship from teammates to family. i will say the first chapter is a little disorienting (it’s in first person POV, which i usually tend to avoid when it comes to fanfiction, but the author does it so well and it does shift straight back to third person POV for the rest of the chapters). the author is currently writing the chuunin exams arc and it’s literally everything i wanted. 

tides by edenfalling ─ omg, this was one of the first team 7 fics i ever read waaay back on ff.net when i was like, 12 years old. unlike most of the fics on this list, this is set in shippuden, but it’s very much AU/canon-divergent. good character dynamics with team 7 learning how to work together again<3

how to make a team by Pleasedial123 ─ basically, kakashi gets his head out of his ass and actually invests time into strengthening the bonds between the members of team 7. don’t get me wrong, i absolutely LOVE canon!kakashi & i know he did his best (he was traumatized + not ready to be a teacher, i get it)... plus, if he was a good teacher in canon, there literally wouldn’t have been a plot. basically this is me saying fuck kishimoto because LOOK at what we could’ve had!! 

and so, the sensei supports his students by ihopethelightwillshineupon ─ this is really more kakashi-centric and it focuses more on his relationship with each of his students than on the dynamic between naruto, sasuke, and sakura (but kakashi is technically part of team 7 so it still counts!!)

ONE-SHOTS

for warmth by magnificentbirb ─ a scene i wish we would’ve gotten in canon.... like you’re telling me there are literally HOURS of filler episodes and we couldn’t get ONE soft, genin team 7 moment?? kishimoto & studio pierrot, you’ll be hearing from my lawyers. 

believing in heroes by guycecil ─ another moment i wish we got in canon because like... can we talk about how, in their genin days, these kids are 12 years old. are you fucking kidding me. also, now that i’m skimming over the fic, this may be more sakura-centric than team 7 centric, but i’d still highly recommend!

the pretty one by theformerone ─ it’s tagged as ot3, but i promise there are no ships! like maaaybe if you squint? but i honestly read it as platonic. one of my favorite fics ever tbh. answers the question that i’ve been thinking about since the manga was released all those years ago: what could have happened if kakashi was too late?

take the fight from the kid by theformerone ─ someone tell me why these 12 year old kids aren’t allowed to process anything on screen.... like, right after the wave arc, everything just went back to normal. like okay, yes, naruto had that moment to grieve for zabuza + haku, but i really just wanted to see a shift in the team 7 dynamics and we never really got it. so take this beautifully written fic instead!! god bless fanfiction. 

pray my name by Chancy_Lurking ─ ok so this is a fic that i found today and i’m OBSESSED. i do want to warn you, since you asked for no ships: it’s not tagged as ot3, but it could be if you squint. or, you could argue that team 7 is just very affectionate/very codependent. either way, right after i finished reading it, all i wanted to do was curl up in my bed and cry (but like, in a good way). 

just killing time by edenfalling ─ a very short but cute little one-shot that i also just found today! same author as tides, so if you read that first and you like their work, you should check this one out! (or vice versa)

did you inherit a sickness? did you blame god? by hotgirl ─ i literally recommend this fic to anyone and everyone because like?? it doesn’t exactly match what you’re looking for but it does have team 7 moments (heads up: it’s implied sns). this is honestly one of the best sasuke characterizations i’ve ever read. 10/10 would recommend.

of bruised brains and dog baths by sweetpotatopie ─ okay so these last three fics might not be exactly what you’re looking for but i’m adding them if/when you’re in the mood for cute, feel-good team 7 one-shots. this one is just a happy, post-canon piece where they actually get along<3

another day in paradise by ohthelinsanity ─ modern au where sakura and naruto bully sasuke, sakura and sasuke bully naruto, and kakashi is weird as shit. the friendship between naruto/sasuke/sakura that i wish i got in canon. hints of past itasaku and implied inosaku, but it’s very much a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moment.

gotta see! finally know! kakashi-sensei’s true face! by Lolistar92 ─ my FAVORITE face reveal fic EVER. episode 101 from naruto is the only filler that deserves rights (and maybe the curry arc because i love team gai, the ramen episode, and all the episodes with konoha 11. but mostly ep 101.)

[dinosaurtsukki]

housemates with shiratorizawa

helloo!! new headcanon series here hehe. i hope you like this very long set of headcanons!

how you ended up in a house with these guys:

they're such a tight-knit bunch considering the fact that they've been living in a dormitory throughout high school

it was probs semi or kawanishi who suggested getting an extra roommate to help with the rent (tendou and goshiki are accident prone they need someone to help pay for repairs)

so ushijima made and put up an ad for an extra housemate. although he didn't disclose the fact that you'd be rooming with 7 other dudes

you were kind of desperate for some housing at this point so you just went with it

the person who greets you at the door is shirabu. but its more like he saw you, your bag, and went back inside the house leaving the door open

you stood there for a whole ten minutes before kawanishi came up to invite you inside

you're instantly greeted by goshiki and semi cleaning the house like crazy. semi was punching a couch cushion so that it looked an extra soft pillow

tbh the only normal you see are ushijima and reon. they're probs the ones who interviewed you to see if you were a good fit as their housemate

despite how weird your first impressions of some of your housemates were, you were still keen to move in

and then that's when tendou decided to come home from the pet shop with an iguana

living there:

you're roommate ends up being shirabu because no one else wanted to room with him (jk they all drew straws and he was lucky)

he's a pretty good roommate: clean, keeps to himself, doesn't play music too loudly

except the fact that he ALWAYS HOGS THE UPSTAIRS BATHROOM

the bathroom might as well just be his because it's FULL of beauty products. also shirabu takes a million years to get ready that at this point, everyone uses the downstairs bathroom

lmao y'all get your revenge tho by using some of shirabu's products when he's gone

its particularly you, semi, tendo, and kawanishi who like to do that

kawanishi: *walks past shirabu*

shirabu: bitch, did you use my fucking Splash of Pomegranate with Exfoliating Sesame Seeds: Rainforest of the Sun Bath and Body Works shower gel?

kawanishi:...no?

semi and reon are both roommates and are probably the most normal people in the house which is saying something

also idk why i feel like they both have a thing for scented candles but they're too shy to tell anyone

like,,, they have a closet full of scented candles and everything

reon: hey, want me to light up Spring Lake or Summer's Kiss?

semi: Summer's Kiss all the way

that's why they always keep their door locked and whenever someone knocks, they quickly snuff out the candle and fan the smoke out of the windows

you: whoa, why does it smell so nice here?

semi: ...air freshener

is kawanishi the only sane, normal person in the house? yeah, probably

he's the one who remembers to get groceries and buy toilet paper and shit and he's so happy he has you to help him out

the thing is though, he's a NOTORIOUS prankster. like, nobody suspects him because they assume its tendou who put packets of ketchup under the toilet seat but no, it was kawanishi

but his favorite person to mess with is his roommate: goshiki

okay goshiki is a Heavy Sleeper and one night you and kawanishi decided to draw criss-cross stocking marks on his legs with permanent marker

goshiki is an alright housemate. he's polite, does his assigned chores, rarely gets into your privacy

but oh my god every morning at 5 am he wakes up the entire house BY BLENDING PROTEIN SHAKES

you and shirabu considered soundproofing your room or chaining goshiki to his bed

ONE OF THE HOUSE'S GREATEST MYSTERIES: how does goshiki cut his hair?

tendou knows you've been dying to know why so one day he's all 'do you really wanna know?' and you're like 'HECC YEAH' and he takes your arm and brings you to goshiki's room

in there you find him with a bowl on his head and cutting along the rim with his scissors

shirabu is also with him but he has a ruler for his bangs

its the only time they ever get along

tendou and ushijima has hands-down the most chaotic room set-up

for one, half of it, ushijima's half, looks like a traditional japanese house

you know that scene in BNHA where todoroki was showing off his room? yes that one

y'all are like 'how was he able to bring tatami mats in his room?'

and then tendou's half looks like a weird-ass storage room complete with an iguana tank (yes he kept it)

tendou probs has those color-changing lights too

and the funny part about it is that both ushijima and tendou are completely okay with the set-up

also tendou has the most irregular schedule ever. like,,, circadian rhythms just wasn't installed in the being that is Tendou Satori

like,, he'll be making mac and cheese at 3 am and just enter your room asking if you want anything

you: WHY WOULD I WANT MAC AND CHEESE AT 3 AM???

shirabu, who's still awake because he's a med student: i'll have some

ushijima on the other hand has such a set schedule and daily routine. he's the definition of 'working like clockwork'

you guys even use him as your clock because why not?

you: guys what time is it?

reon: ushijima just left for his morning run so probably 7am

the only thing is that ushijima,,, generally doesn't cook??

and by that he likes to eat raw vegetables. no seasoning, no nothing

and he always offers to make people snacks and he does it so sincerely that you can't help but accept his snacks

*insert scene of you eating raw carrots at 11 pm while studying*

house incident: everyone being a closeted fan of Naruto

everyone in shiratorizawa is a closeted naruto fan (except for a few but we’ll be discussing) and no i don’t accept criticism on this

goshiki MAY have rock lee’s signature bowl cut and sometimes walks around the house in leg weights but he doesn’t say who he copies them from outright

but EVERYONE ELSE 

you started having your suspicions when you walked into semi and reon’s room looking for a pencil and found semi sitting in bed with a pile of tissues around him and his laptop on his lap

you guys stare at each other for a while and semi just quickly yells��“I WAS WATCHING PORN”

you: I DON’T NEED TO KNOW WHAT YOU’RE WATCHING

my boy semi was actually crying to that part in naruto when zabuza and haku died

his roommate reon on the other hand has a secret tattoo

it’s a sharingan tattoo and its on his back, just between his shoulder blades, which is why he doesn’t go around shirtless (his favorite character is itachi don’t @ me)

reon probably owns an akatsuki cloak too

kawanishi has an ENTIRE playlist of the naruto opening and ending tracks that he got from youtube and converted into mp3 format on youtube mp3 converter which he then downloaded and organized into a playlist with the album art when he was thirteen

sometimes you’ll hear him whistling Ikimono Gakari and everyone in the house is all 👂👂👂

tendou is the only one not lowkey about it but he’s not lowkey about anything he likes

and then one day you and tendou are in the kitchen and ushijima decides to watch tv while eating breakfast

while flipping through the channels he comes across the rock lee vs. gaara fight and he just decides to watch while eating

tendou’s like ‘wakatoshi? do you,,, like naruto?’

ushijima: is this naruto? it looks pretty cool

AND THEN YOU AND TENDOU JUST AMBUSH HIM AND GO INTO A TED TALK ABOUT HOW AWESOME NARUTO IS 

while you’re busy ranting about it, semi, goshiki, and reon, who recognize the unmistakable Sounds of Naruto, creep downstairs

semi: oh, cool. it’s naruto

reon: yeah, used to watch it when i was a kid

goshiki: hmm, seems like an alright show

and then USHIJIMA LOOKS AT GOSHIKI AND THEN AT ROCK LEE AND JUST GOES

‘hey, you remind me of that guy’

AND GOSHIKI ALMOST CRIES 

reon and semi end up sitting on the couch, trying to hold in their middle-school selves while watching 

and then kawanishi comes in and he’s just like OH MY GOD NARUTO!!

now almost everyone in the house is watching. at that part when rock lee drops his weights reon and semi jump off the couch and cheer

they can’t hold themselves back anymore

last but not the least, shirabu, who came back from class, walks into the living room to find all of his housemates cheering and crying in front of the TV that’s playing naruto

shirabu: omg u guys are lame

goshiki, sobbing: WE’RE NOT LAME IF WE FOLLOW OUR NINJA WAY

shirabu: welL, OBVIOUSLY THE BEST FIGHT SCENE IS WHEN NARUTO AND ROCK LEE GO AGAINST KIMIMARO YOU UNCULTURED FUCKS

and then he runs up to his room before coming down with THE FULL BLU-RAY DISC SET OF NARUTO ALL THE WAY UNTIL SHIPPUDEN

basically you guys end up watching naruto all day and semi finally admitted that he wasn’t watching porn the day you came into his room

taglist (still open to anyone who wants in!): @montys-chaos​ @miyumtwins​ @strawberriimilkshake​ @pocubo​ @sugawara-sweetheart@akaashisbabydoll @laure-chan@therainroguefanfiction@atetiffdoesart@stephdaninja@oikaw-ugh@charliefredb@dramaqueenweeb1469@tremblinghearts@applepienation@doodleniella

[bakubabes-tatakae]

The Uchiha In The Leaves (Part Eleven)

Author’s Note: If anyone wants to be in a taglist for this feel free to let me know! Happy to do it for anyone!

(Kakashi x Reader)

Summary: What happens when Y/N finally returns to the Village Hidden in the Leaves? Her life is flipped upside down when not only does she find the man that’s awaited her return, but she finds someone she thought she’d never see again.

Part One, Part Two: *NSFW Ahead!*, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight: *NSFWish Ahead!*, Part Nine, Part Ten

Part Eleven:

Word Count: 2,245

*Y/N P.O.V*

*Y/N P.O.V*

Naruto had done a number on his body from all his training yesterday so when we were all ready to bring Tazuna to his bridge, Naruto was still asleep. I stepped in front of Kakashi and put my hands on his hips. “Should we wake him up?”

Kakashi looked down at me. “It’s best we don’t. He needs his rest. He used up a lot of his chakra yesterday.” He leaned down and kissed my forehead, looking over at Tsunami after. “I leave Naruto in your hands. He’s pushed his body to the limit, overdoing it, as usual, so he might not even be able to move today at all.” 

Tsunami looked worried. “What about you two? You’re still recovering yourselves.”

“Why? Do I look wobbly?” Kakashi smiled and let go of me, backing up a little. “I’ll be okay.”

“Y/n?”

“I’ll be fine. My ribs are feeling much better. Enough that I can carry on as normal. It’s an old injury, it’ll always have its aches and pains.” I smiled my best smile at her and wrapped one arm around Kakashi, standing next to him. “We’ll be each other's crutch. We’ve been doing that for years now.”

Tazuna smiled. “Come on then, let’s go.”

* * * * * * 

When we reached the bridge Tazuna went into shock. “Hold on! What is this?!” There were men lying all over the bridge, someone had attacked them. “What happened? Someone was here, someone got to them.”

I looked over and watched Kakashi. My heart was pounding. It had to have been him. The mist began to surround us and Kakashi looked around before turning to me. “This mist,” He looked around some more. “Y/n, Sasuke, Sakura, get ready.”

We all drew our kunai and made a circle around Tazuna. Sakura was the first one to speak. “Kakashi-Sensei, it’s Zabuza, isn’t it? This is his hidden mist jutsu.”

His voice came through the mist. “Sorry I kept you waiting Kakashi. I see you’ve still got those brats with you. Along with my cheating ex-fiance.” I cringed as he said it. Zabuza began to talk about the kids. “That one is still trembling. Pitiful.”  Before we knew it there were Zabuza clones completely surrounding us. By the sound that Sasuke made I could tell there was a possibility of him freezing up.

Before I made a move Sasuke smiled at the Zabuza clone and spoke. “I’m trembling with… excitement.”

I smirked at the Zabuza in front of me and spoke to my brother. “Go on Sasuke.”  

Kakashi turned around and spoke to him as well. “Show him what you can do.”

Zabuza swung his sword down toward Sasuke and before Zabuza even noticed Sasuke jumped into the air and swung his kunai through all of his water clones, causing them to disappear. He jumped back down next to me and looked around some more. 

His menacing voice rang through the mist. “So you could see they were water clones. Brats improving. Looks like you’ve got a rival Haku.” Zabuza and the tracker ninja from the woods stepped out into view.

The tracker ninja, Haku, spoke. “So it seems. 

 My blood boiled and my face turned to anger. “Don’t be so upset Y/n, Haku told me all about how you were when you thought you were holding my dead body, and I still love you too, baby girl.” 

I cringed and growled at him. I could feel Kakashi tense as well, not taking kindly to someone else saying these things to his girlfriend. I couldn’t take it anymore. “Go to hell you lousy piece of crap. I never should have stayed with you!”

Kakashi looked over at me. “Y/n, relax, save that anger for when you’re hitting him.” Kakashi began to taunt them. “Well, well, well. So I had it right. It was all an act. An act with a cute little mask.”

Sasuke taunted right along with him. “Big phony.”

“They look pretty chummy to me. I bet they’ve been pulling scams like that for a long time.”

Sakura joined in. “He’s got some nerve facing us again after pulling that trick.”

“Hiding behind a mask, who does he think he’s fooling.”

Sakura cleared her throat. “Speak for yourself Sensei.”

Sasuke was glaring at Haku. “That’s it, I’m taking him out. Who does he think he’s fooling? Hiding behind that mask, like some sort of clown.”

“Sasuke, you’re so cool.”

Kakashi’s face dropped and I looked over at him. He whispered to me. “Wait for a second, didn’t I just say that? She’ll never change.”

I chuckled at him. “She likes my little brother, give her a break.”

Haku began to spin, coming right for Sasuke. Sasuke didn’t know what to do. “What’s this?”

When he finished spinning he went for Sasuke with some throwing needles and Sasuke held them back with his kunai. Haku was quick, I’ll give him that, but Sasuke was holding on pretty well. Kakashi looked over. “Sakura, cover Tazuna and stay close to us. Let Sasuke handle this.”

Sakura jumped in front of Tazuna and we watched as the back and forth between Sasuke and Haku continued. They were evenly matched with speed so each time one struck with a blade the other countered. Haku tried to taunt him. “We want the bridge builder, not you. If you back down I don’t have to kill you.”

Sasuke scoffed. “Save it.”

“You’re making a mistake. You won't be able to keep up with my speed. I’ve gained two key advantages.”

“Yea, and what are they?”

“First, we’re surrounded by water. Second, I’ve blocked one of your hands. Therefore, you only have one free hand to defend yourself.” Haku began to make hand signs with his free hand. 

I looked over at Kakashi with a bit of panic setting in. Kakashi was starting to sweat and that made me stress even more. 

“Secret jutsu, a thousand needles of death.” Haku stamped on the ground and water began to rise up around the two of them. The water began to turn into needles. The needles began to fall toward Sasuke and with a burst of water, Haku went flying backward. When the water cleared Sasuke had vanished. 

I began to smile a little. His training really was paying off. Sasuke was in the air throwing kunai at Haku, causing him to take steps back every different knife. When Sasuke was out of kunai he used his speed to appear behind Haku before he could notice. “You’re not as fast as you think.” Sasuke was smiling. “From this point on, you’ll be the one defending from my attacks.”  Haku jumped and Sasuke swung his kunai toward him, When Haku dodged the first kunai Sasuke took the second and threw it at his face. When he ducked from that one Sasuke had the upper hand and gave him a swift kick to the face, sending him flying across the bridge. “Thought you were quicker, huh? Now, what else are you wrong about?”

Kakashi spoke up. “You made a big mistake insulting these ninjas and calling them brats. That’s just guaranteed to bring out Sasuke’s attitude. Y/n is his sister, so you, of all people, should know about the Uchiha attitude. He’s the best young fighter of the Hidden Leaf Village, and Sakura here is our sharpest mind. And last but not least, our number one, hyperactive, knucklehead ninja is Naruto Uzumaki.” 

Zabuza was getting angry. “Haku, if we keep going like this, we’ll be the victims instead of them. Get on with it!”

Haku stood up. “Right.” 

Blue started to appear all around Haku and Sasuke got curious. “What’s that?”

“I’m sorry it had to come to this.”

“The air, it’s so cold.”

Haku put his hands up and started to make signals. Ice started to come up from all around and turned into rectangles, forming a shield wall around Haku and Sasuke. “Secret jutsu, crystal ice mirrors.” 

I could feel my heart hitting my chest. I couldn’t see Sasuke anymore and that was making me incredibly nervous. “Sasuke!” I looked over at Kakashi. “What is that?” He could see the panic on my face without a problem. Kakashi and I took off at a run, but as we got close to the wall Zabuza ran in front of us. 

“If you enter this fight, you fight me.” Zabuza looked straight at me. “And we both know you don’t want to do that.” Zabuza was only talking to me now. “Your brother has no chance against that jutsu. He’s finished.”

I could feel my eyes welling up with tears of anger. I could hear the sounds of things flying around inside the wall and I could hear my brother grunting in pain. “SASUKE!” I was helpless. There was nothing I could do for him so I started to plead. “Zabuza, please, don’t do this, let him out! You know what it was like for me when I tried to find him. Please!”

Sasuke’s kunai came flying out of the wall and landed in front of me. Now he had no defense in there. Zabuza continued. “Just try to help him and I’ll kill the other two in a heartbeat.” 

I picked up the knife in front of me as I heard Sakura come running from behind me. As she sailed into the air I threw the kunai to her. She launched the kunai toward the wall and tried to slip it through the cracks when it was caught by Haku. While we all stared dumbfounded that Haku had caught the kunai two ninja star came flying through the sky, into the wall, sending Haku out of it. A puff of smoke came flying next to the ice wall.

Haku stood back up and looked around. “Number one, hyperactive, knucklehead ninja.”

When the smoke cleared the one kid missing appeared. “Naruto Uzumaki is here. Now that I’m here everything will be alright.”

Sakura was excited and hollered to him. “Naruto!”

“You know how in the stories the hero usually shows up at the last minute and then kicks butt? Well, that’s what I’m gonna do right now, believe it.”

I looked over at Kakashi. “What an idiot. If he’d have stayed hidden he could have been more effective.”

Naruto put his fists together. “Alright, you’re history.”  Kakashi and I gasped. 

“Naruto, no!” Kakashi tried in vain to get his attention. 

“Shadow clone jutsu.” 

Zabuza turned toward him and threw four ninja stars at him. 

I panicked. “Naruto, move!”

In a shock, to all of us, Haku threw four throwing needles and stopped the ninja star from hitting Naruto. 

I was angry and so was Kakashi. Kakashi didn’t keep the anger from his voice. “This is a battle, not a talent show. Don’t show the opponent your jutsu.” Naruto was embarrassed now. “The shinobi’s art is deception, always keep your opponent guessing. Even when executing a single jutsu one must distract their opponent's attention, catch them off balance, and outmaneuver them. You just turn yourself into a human target when you enter a battle like that.” Kakashi was not holding back on him. 

Naruto panicked, knowing we were all mad at him. “I’m sorry! I was just trying to rescue everybody!”

“But there’s another mystery here.” Kakashi was clearly staring at Haku. Why had Haku stopped the ninja stars from hitting Naruto?

Zabuza looked back at Haku. “Haku, what are you doing?”

Haku slowly turned toward us. “Zabuza, this boy, let me fight him my own way. Please.”

Naruto looked straight at Haku. “Bring it on.”

Sasuke was laying on the ground inside the ice wall, I could just barely see him looking out at us. “Sasuke! I’ll get you out of there, even if it kills me.” 

Zabuza laughed a little, still talking to Haku. “So you want me to leave this to you, is that it Haku?” Haku never answered him. “As usual, you’re too soft.”

Haku hung his head. “Forgive me.”

Naruto pointed at Haku and yelled. “I’m warning you. One way or another I’m taking that mask off and ripping you apart!”

Naruto could never match this kid. One of us had to do something. I put one foot forward and Zabuza knew I was going to make a move. He stepped in front of me. “Don’t even think about it.” He stared at me menacingly.

I tried to step forward more, swinging my fists toward Zabuza, when Kakashi grabbed me and pulled me back. “Y/n, no.”

“You two know the score. You go after Haku and I go after the bridge builder.”

He had us. We both knew that we could never protect Tazuna and help Naruto and Sasuke at the same time. Sakura is feisty, but she could never handle Zabuza alone. I looked over at Kakashi with pleading eyes, all the while, knowing that he couldn’t do anything to help. 

Kakashi looked as angry as I’d ever seen him before. I had known Kakashi since school. From when we were kids all the way until now and I had never seen him want to rip someone apart as much as he did at this moment. Zabuza taunted him. “Relax Kakashi.” He looked over at me and smiled from under his mask. “Sit back and enjoy the show baby girl, learn a thing or two.” I saw Kakashi stiffen and his eyes grow angrier as Zabuza referred to me as ‘baby girl’. “Let’s see how they do one on one.”

Taglist 💕 @korianrdr​ @nimeryaa​ @o-franzii-o​ @chidori-mint​ @fan-g0rl​ @ari-hatake15​ @hunie-hun @puredicks​ @praisingkuroosbedhead​

[lyricfrost13]

BNHA/Naruto reincarnation au

Ok ok so the trope is that one character is reincarnated into another world, either as another character or as a new insert in the world right?  I had a kind of cracky idea for this one.  

It’s a bit long but basically a ton of characters from My Hero die during the War arc and are reincarnated as Naruto characters, which changes canon timeline but not a ton at first because they all think they’re the only one. Like, literally Minato is All Might, Aizawa is Kakashi - Team 7 is Izuku (Naruto - trust me I know it’s weird, but nearly-adult Izuku in a child’s body is here to cause problems on purpose), Bakugou (Sakura - the temper and eventually the ability to smash boulders? Yes. I know Naruto and Sakura could be flipped but I have Reasons), and Todoroki (Sasuke - evil older brother, fire stuff, kinda stoic) - there’s more under the cut because I don’t have the energy to write an actual entire fic but I need to put it down. Maybe at some point I’ll write the rest. 

Yagi thought it was a dream for a while.  Thought it was a nightmare, some days - but being Namikaze Minato was oddly satisfying in that he earned every bit of his power along the way.  He was proud of it, the strength and speed and intellect. The only person he ever told about his old world was Kushina - and she believed him.  His heart ached when his team fought and died and fought more - he tried to reach Kakashi in his grief, but the boy wasn’t happy. 

Aizawa doesn’t tell a soul that he’s someone else, that he’s a fraud, not a genius.  He doesn’t dare make a friend in Obito or Rin, still aching because all he can think is Mic and Oboro and his fucking class all gone.  Minato’s sunny smiles in the midst of being a deadly destroyer of armies makes him think of All Might and Izuku, the heroes, the best of them.  It hurts when it’s all taken away, and he uses his knowledge of how not to strain eye-related powers to cover his Sharingan when not in use and dives into ANBU to avoid thinking too hard about everything. 

Touya aches. He’s a genius of his clan, blew his first fireball so hot that it charred his throat for a week and glowed blue-white instead of red. This world doesn’t leave him burned beyond repair, and killing isn’t what makes a villain - but he still becomes one, for his little brother’s sake, because while Fuyumi, Natsuo, and Shouto are gone, he still has Sasuke. (Another suicide mission fueled by revenge - only this time it’s him that has to die in the end, not his father.)  Itachi’s new flames are black, not blue.

Hawks is tired of lies.  So tired of being loyal to a system that’s full of false promises.  He might be a shark instead of a bird now, but he still flies the coop and joins up with a group that comfortably reminds him of the League. 

Izuku grieves everyone - of course he does - in the quiet of his little apartment. He’s reminded again and again of the fact that he’s different for whatever reason.  This time, instead of crying, he shouts - he laughs - he pranks the shit out of everyone to just be noticed for something that’s actually under his control.  If he can’t be the #1 hero, then dammit he’ll be Hokage - the strongest leader he can manage to be. 

Katsuki doesn’t know what the fuck to do. One, he’s become a girl - gender didn’t really matter all that much to him compared to strength and intelligence before, but it was still weird. What frustrated her more was his lack of quirk - explosions had defined Bakugou for so long that frankly, she was still going to research Iwa’s explosion corps and do something about that to add to her repertoire. Somewhere along the line Ino attached to her like the limpet Kirishima and Mina always had - getting up in her personal space without caring one way or another, understanding when she refused to speak, encouraging her temper every once in a while. The one annoying thing is that Ino interpreted her need to get stronger than the current projected Rookie of the Year as a crush.  Which - no. Sasuke was objectively good looking for a kid, but he was also intellectually a hell of a lot younger than Katsuki-Sakura, and he always uncomfortably reminded her of Todoroki. 

Shouto thrives at first - glad not to be the only one with expectations, even if he winces at the idea of an older brother shouldering so much responsibility.  He lives for having an older brother to look up to, to get close to.  He’s a little miffed that his clan’s specialty is fire-based, but hey, at least his father doesn’t expect him to be his successor - until he does. Until Itachi starts going on more and more missions, poking his forehead and saying “Another time, little brother,” more and more often. And then the massacre happens, and Sasuke wonders why he ever trusted that things would be so stable and ok.  He’s going to get strong, drag Itachi kicking and screaming back to Konoha, and rip his eyes out so he never does that again.

...

Kakashi is late again. Sasuke was more irritable than usual - after Wave, their sensei had promised to help him learn the Ice Release that Haku had done, and he’d really wanted to have that in his arsenal to have something more familiar. Sakura and Naruto had begun sparring in their boredom, and in the middle of it, Naruto slipped and hit one of Sakura’s sore spots from the mission.  She snarled.  

“Fucking deku, what the hell!” she said.  

Naruto yelped and fell forward, following through too far on a punch, eyes wide.  Sasuke stared, blinking.  

“Interesting,” said Kakashi’s voice behind them.  Sasuke was staring at Sakura in shock, and Naruto looked like he was staring at a ghost.  Sakura’s cheeks were turning pink. 

“What are you looking at me like that for?!” she demanded.  

“Problem children,” Kakashi said.  All three faces whipped to face him, mouths gaping, eyes wide. 

“ . . . Aizawa-sensei?” asked Shouto quietly. 

“What?” demanded Bakugou.  “All of us?  Who the fuck are-Icy-hot? Deku?” 

“Kacchan!” Izuku’s expression on Naruto’s features was - well.  Kakashi cursed inwardly - had things gone well, fuck, he’d be the kid’s older brother figure.  This wouldn’t have gone this far.  But the elation of not being alone was too much, even with that sting of he was right in front of me and I did nothing.  

“If we’re all back here,” Sasuke said quietly, “Who else might be?”

“Well, this changes things for us, but not for anyone else,” Kakashi explained.  “As far as the world knows, we’re the same as we’ve always been.  However, you studying Iwa explosion tactics and you wanting to learn ice release jutsus makes a lot more sense now.”

. . . 

Gaara had always had it in him to destroy.  From dust to sand to death - it was all the same.  The Ichibi raging against a jagged seal had only exacerbated an already damaged mind, one that couldn’t handle the empty space where All for One used to be. Instead stood rage.  

Yashamaru had helped, for a while. Gaara had almost even considered telling his greatest secret to his siblings - that he was once a terrible monster of a human, Shigaraki - but his uncle’s death shattered that thought quite thoroughly.  That was all it took to turn him once again into a monster, until a kid with another tailed beast inside him raged against his pain hard enough to scrape at his most protected secret: He didn’t want to be a monster or a villain. 

Naruto had that blinding smile as he fought he’d only seen a few times before - on Midoriya Izuku. 

. . . 

When Itachi next faced Sasuke, he had expected pain and rage. 

Instead, his little brother created a prison of ice mirrors, Sharingan flashing as he finished the sequence of signs.  His teammates screamed from outside the dome, and Itachi grimaced as he readied a stance - when had Sasuke learned anything about ice?  Why would he - 

“You’re going to give me answers, aniki,” he said.  “One of which is this: Touya, what the hell?”

Itachi stared.  And stared.  

“You-Shouto?”

“Apologies for not having the hair dye remover and livestream set up, but yes,” he replied.  

. . . 

Shikamaru was . . . well.  He wasn’t an idiot.  Talking about reincarnation and heroes and another life was a way to get a trip to T&I and never leave.  It didn’t mean he didn’t use his skills - Aizawa would be proud of how lazy his son had gotten in his next life, he bet. 

So when he saw Team Seven act a lot differently at the beginning of the chunin exams than he recalled, he was on high alert to find out what was going on. Naruto had learned some level of volume control, Sakura had tempered whatever her issue with Sasuke was, and Sasuke had - not softened, but definitely cooled off.  Seemed more attentive to his teammates. 

And Kakashi had certainly become more present, if the way they were presenting themselves with high-quality gear was any indication.  

Chunin Exams, Sports Festival - didn’t matter, he was still going to prove himself. No matter the fact he didn’t have his quirk anymore, he still kept asking questions. 

“Hey, Sakura.  Naruto. Sasuke. You ready for this?”

“We’re going to pass,” Sakura said. “No other option.”  He raised a brow. 

“You sure about that?”

“Sakura-chan said it, so she means it,” said Naruto.  Sasuke nodded. 

“What about you and your team?”

“Well, it’d be a drag to take the exam again. Guess I’ve got to get the promotion now,” he sad, sticking his hands in his pockets. “Gotta scope out the competition - I’m not here to make friends.” 

All three stiffened, and Naruto’s eyes lit up.  

“Shinsou!” 

Shikamaru spluttered. 

“Wh-what?!”

“You’re not the only one,” said Sakura immediately.  “Shoulda figured, eyebags. Would have thought Aizawa would be a Nara too, but it still fits.” Shikamaru was, of course, reeling.  

“Aizawa’s here?!  Wait, who are you three, then, if you know?”

“I’m Deku,” said Naruto, and yeah, that tracked.  

“Who the fuck else?” asked Sakura, and yep, her temper and Bakugou’s were just about the same amount of hair-trigger.  Which left - 

“And you’re Todoroki,” he said.  Sasuke nodded. 

“Kakashi’s Aizawa.  He’s gonna be really glad that you’re here, Shinsou. Talk to him when you get the chance.”

. . .

“You might be a monster, but so am I,” Naruto insisted as Gaara’s wild gaze turned on him. 

“No, no, I was born a monster,” Gaara insisted. “I destroyed everything I touched, it all was decay, I ended a world -”

Oh. Oh. 

“And All for One’s gone now,” he said. 

The Ichibi’s form flickered, and the sand surrounding the boy flailed whiplike and dangerous. 

. . . 

Naruto entered the seal and frowned.  It - his body, his spirit felt different. Somewhere between Naruto and Izuku. The mindscape shimmered, and a blond figure stepped forward - the First Hokage. But another step forward, and he shifted into someone else equally, no, more familiar. Naruto choked. 

“All Might?!” he gasped. “You’re the Fourth?  But - how - how is this?” he was helpless for words. Minato stiffened, staring at how the spirit before him shifted back and forth between a young man with whisker marks and blue eyes and a mop of green fluffy hair. 

“Izuku? You’re Naruto?” he asked quietly. His son nodded vigorously. 

“It seems I’ve bestowed quite the power and burden on you twice over,” he mused.  “Come here.  It’s not every day a father gets to see his son for the first time in over a decade,” he said, arms open.  Naruto blinked.  

“My - my father?”

“Yes,” he said with a sad smile. “I only ever told your mother about my past life. She even believed me!” 

Izuku-Naruto stumbled forward and sobbed into Minato-Yagi’s shoulder, clutching him tightly.  

“It’s not just us,” he said, “Aizawa and Todoroki and Kacchan and Shinsou and - there’s more out there, I’m sure of it. Not everyone, but more. And I’m going to save them all this time.” 

Minato smiled. 

[sasukesun]

A few times Naruto Uzumaki understood love

I’ve seen NH stans people claiming Naruto didn’t understand love to validate their nonsensical undeveloped ship, so here’s a few times that prove it otherwise.

1. When Iruka saves him

Oh my who would’ve thought that the first one would happen in the very first chapter of the manga? Well, at least the roots of it.

At first, Naruto doesn’t understand why Iruka would sacrifice himself to save him, since everybody treated him as a monster at this point in his life.

He even believes Iruka holds him in contempt because of the Kyuubi until Iruka says otherwise.

After that, Naruto stands up for Iruka to protect him, just like Iruka did, this gives us the idea of reciprocity, so whatever Iruka feels for Naruto and does for him, Naruto might feel the same way and be willing to do the same things for Iruka.

And even though it’s not explicit that those feelings can be love in this chapter, Naruto brings his connection with Iruka multiple times during the manga. So, as I said, at least the roots of understanding what this bond with Iruka is appear in the very first chapter.

In the Land of Waves Arc, when Haku talks about a person that cares for you becomes the most important treasured person in your life, Naruto thinks about Iruka. So you’re telling me that Naruto listens to someone else talking about a precious person, thinks about a person he himself treasures, and yet he doesn’t understand love? I dunno about that.

Let’s also remember that this sacrificial act from Iruka is what actually changes Naruto, who claimed he wanted revenge by the village at some point of his life due to the villagers’ behaviour towards him. Naruto, who is shown to feel hatred multiple times in the manga, has a change of heart after connecting with someone, but sure, he doesn’t understand love.

2. Haku and Zabuza

This one is one of my personal favourites and I don’t even have to explain it that much cause you can just read what Naruto says to Zabuza after Haku sacrifices himself to save him:

12 year old Naruto understands devotion and caring and having someone special and even reciprocity to the point that he makes 26 year old Demon of the Hidden Mist cry with his little rant about love. Ah yes and the icing on the cake:

Zabuza admits that Naruto is right while crying. 12 year old Naruto could clearly tell what was love, I don’t know how could he possibly not understand it.

Those two I’ve talked about weren’t romantic, but let’s see one that is:

3. Sakura’s fake confession

This one is very interesting, cause everybody knows about Naruto’s crush on Sakura. So, basically Sakura fake confesses her feelings for Naruto (explicitly) and this is his reaction:

Assuming Naruto doesn’t understand love, if his crush told him she reciprocated his feelings, even if that wasn’t true, he would believe it (heh), be very happy and they would get together right? Well, that’s not the case:

He can tell that Sakura is lying and asks her to stop. Now, I think it’s interesting because this not only shows that Naruto understands what’s love, but he also understands what it’s not.

As much as I hate this fake confession, we also take another thing from it:

Besides the discernment between what’s love and what’s not, 16 year old Naruto also understands that love doesn’t come out of nowhere, he could tell that Sakura wouldn’t suddenly start liking him.

4. When he meets Kushina

This one is also self explanatory and very explicit, which makes my work easier.

So Kushina tells Naruto she loves him and this is his adorable little face after it:

In the anime is even cuter.

Still doesn’t think he doesn’t understand love?

He feels calm and happy and even though he grew up rejected by everybody, full of hatred and without his parents’ love, now he knows without a doubt that he is loved by them, just by hearing his mother’s words.

And last but not least:

5. Sasuke

We obviously can’t talk about love and Naruto without talking about Sasuke. Their bond is the core of the series and it’s definitely Naruto’s most complex one. I will not dissect their relationship in this post, cause it’d need a whole other post to do it, but let’s see how Naruto understood love with Sasuke starting with this:

Sasuke’s action parallels Iruka, since both of them risk their life for Naruto. Naruto also doesn’t understand immediately why would Sasuke do it, he questions Sasuke who also doesn’t seem to be able to explain it at the moment, but Haku does.

But there’s a difference:

Naruto breaks his seal for the first time. It’s actually really interesting to think that the hatred Naruto received by the villagers for his whole life could have broken it, but it took Sasuke “dying” while saving him to trigger that. So Sasuke’s actions parallel Iruka’s, and we’ve seen that Naruto loves Iruka. Naruto’s reaction to Sasuke’s sacrifice was even more powerful, then what does that say about his feelings for Sasuke? He might not be able to name it or even explain it for a long time, but he does understand that it’s a powerful feeling and, platonic or not, it’s love from the beginning.

(funny how he understands what a person who claims to love Sasuke deeply is going through but anyway not the point)

I have seen that people use Sasuke screaming how Naruto doesn’t understand him at Vote1 to prove that Naruto doesn’t understand love. That’s not true at all. Naruto not understanding what’s like to lose somebody, which is what Sasuke refers to, doesn’t mean he’s not able to understand love. As I said, he might not be able to explain it for a long time, but that changes. He firstly compares Sasuke with a brother and family, but he denies that later.

(Obs: this is Viz’s translation, others don’t have Naruto saying Sasuke is part of his family, but rather that Sasuke is one of Naruto’s first bonds, which is something he treasures)

So he clings to the “friend” title, multiple times

And yes, friendship is also a type of love, but Sasuke questions what does that mean to Naruto, Sasuke questions that maybe their friendship is not normal, and then Naruto finally explains it:

Wether it’s friendship or not, whether it’s platonic or not (because, honestly, it’s very difficult to draw the line in this case and there’s no problem in seeing them as romantic) Naruto loves Sasuke and he understands the depth of his feelings, he understands what’s like to have this bond, he understands that when you love someone you don’t abandon them, that when you love someone, somehow, seeing them hurting hurts you too, as I said in the Haku part, he understands devotion and caring about someone and, well, Sasuke understands it as well:

So please don’t make illogical claims such as “Naruto doesn’t understand love”, don’t butcher his character like that. Just because Naruto sees Hinata sacrificing herself for him while claiming that she loves him and doesn’t seek her or reciprocate her feelings after that, doesn’t mean he doesn’t know what love or sacrifice is, he’s seen and felt both. Just because a certain studio makes a movie that retcons Naruto’s backstory and claims that he is stupid and doesn’t understand love, doesn’t mean that it’s true. Naruto does understand love, but maybe, just maybe, he doesn’t feel for the person some people want him to.

[domesticsns]

You mentioned sasuke has a lot of enemies, did they ever try to use Naruto to get to sasuke?

(Story time. This happened only once tho.)  

It was Saturday and Naruto was playing video games when the door rank. It was daylight and he figured it were just some girl scouts selling cookies. He opened the door and sees this beautiful women and he thought  “damn” . Then what he thought was a women, talked and it was clearly a men. But Naruto wasn’t going to assume their gender. So he was avoiding the pronounce. 

“Good afternoon, My name is Haku Yuki.” Haku said, tucking his long black hair behind his ear. “I’m sorry, does a Sasuke Uchiha live here. I believe his full name is Sasuke Uchiha-Uzumaki now. I hope I am not at the wrong address.” 

“Yes he lives here. He is my husband.” Naruto says. 

“What a lucky man he is, you’re pretty handsome...And cute.” Haku says eyeing Naruto who blushed slightly. 

“He’s not home. He went grocery shopping, but he will be back. You can come inside if you want?” 

“It would be my pleasure,” Haku said kindly and entered the house. He took his shoes off immediately and walked inside. 

“So where do you my husband from?” Naruto asks as he indicated to the couch. He expected Haku to probably be family the two had some similarities. Only Haku was soft spoken and a lot kinder. 

“We went to highschool together.” Haku says with a smile. Naruto thought he kept a pretty good poker face the moment. He knew damn well that was not a good sign and he cursed his guest friendly nature. 

“Do you want something to drink? I will make us some tea and you can tell me all about highschool with Sasuke.” Naruto gets up to go to the kitchen, thinking if he climbed out of the window there he could jump to the rain pipe and climb down. Haku wouldn’t be any wiser. But he was wrong the moment he entered the kitchen and opened the window he felt a gun pressed against his back and a chill voice telling him not to scream. Haku told him to close the window and get back inside. And Naruto had choice. He was put down on a chair as Haku closed the curtains and tied Naruto up. 

Haku puts the gun away and sits down adjacent to Naruto. 

“Sasuke in high school. He was very talented. I had hard time catching up to him. It really bothered me that he ended up being number one and I was number two. He was good. He could twist the neck of a bunny without thinking twice. I never liked killing. He was a natural though. I think I have some pictures, which are not fabricated...” Haku sasy reaching for his bag. 

“Fabricated. I thought Fugaku fabricated the pictures himself.” Naruto said. 

“Oh no, the boarding school fabricated a lot of it. They probably send him already fabricated pictures.” Haku grabs a few pictures and show them.

“This is me,” he points at a picture where he was sitting on a wall, holding a knife behind the pictures were like 5 dead bodies. “This is Sasuke...But we called him number 13 back then. I was number 34 and This guy was like 55 or so.” He points at Sasuke in the picture who was not smiling. He wasn’t even looking. The other child seemed to be crying. 

Haku grabbed another picture, “This is us during hell week.” 

“Hell week?” Naruto asked. 

“oh where we survived on only one to three hours of sleep while going through intensive training. It was rough. Especially when they tortured us during to keep our mouths shut.” 

“That is terrible!” Naruto says. 

“I thought so too,” Haku said. 

He hears the door open and close and Haku presses his finger against his lips. Naruto was wondering what was going through Haku’s head. 

“SASUKE!” He screamed, there was no way he was not going to warn him...Only down luck....Naruto always screamed Sasuke for insignificant things. 

“Yes,yes..I am coming. I swear to god if it is that damn game again...” He entered the living room and sees Haku. Haku waves at him. Sasuke looks at Naruto. Naruto looks at Sasuke. 

“Hey Sasuke-” Haku didn’t even have time to finish. It was quickly die or fight and Naruto had to be honest he did not get to see Sasuke fighting someone who was as skilled as he was and seeing to two going at it was like watching an action movie. 

Sasuke had Haku pinned down ready to knock him out. Haku grabbed some needles from his sleeve and threw them at Naruto. 

Naruto saw Sasuke reach for the knife around his ankle and throw it towards the needles. Redirecting them towards the wall instead. Haku took his chance and use the needles in his other sleeve on Sasuke, but Sasuke kicked over the coffee table and the needles got suck on the wooden surface instead. He kicked the tabled over at Haku before grabbing, what seemed to be a kusanagi taped under that table and slice and hold it right at Haku’s throat. Haku put his hands up, laughing. 

“You’ve gotten weaker!”He points out. 

“Still capable of kicking your ass!” Sasuke says. 

“So it is like riding a bike,”  Haku says, getting up. “You’re not going to kill me.” 

“Try me.” Sasuke hisses. 

“I mean you no harm. You attacked me first.” Haku says. 

“You kidnapped my husband!” Sasuke hissed. 

“I was preventing him from getting hurt by climbing through the window.” Haku says. 

“I was trying to get away like you taught me,” Naruto says. 

“You did good babe, not your fault.” Sasuke says not breaking eye contact from Haku. 

“I am not here to hurt you or your husband. He way too cute to hurt.” Haku says. 

“Thanks....” Naruto says. 

“Fine...Tell me the truth...And watch it. I’ll know when you’re lying.” Sasuke says.

“You haven’t changed a bit. You were always better in weapons and combat not to mention you could always lie like no one else.” Haku lowers the sword, making sure not to hurt his fingers. He sat down on the dining table, looking at Naruto. 

“We were just chatting about you in highschool, were we not, Naruto dear?” Haku says. Sasuke walks over to his husband, cutting him loose. 

“I was just showing him some old pictures, you remember right?” Haku says grabbing the pictures he dropped and handing them to Sasuke. He turns back to Naruto, “We always got along. We had each others back a lot. Not the best strategy when you’re thrown in a cage together with two knives.”

“How did you get these?” Sasuke askes, sitting down himself. 

It was like the two did not try to kill each other a few seconds ago. 

“There were two classes I was better at than you. One was stealing thing.” Haku says, “I had stole all of these back in those days. These were the little memories I wanted to keep.” 

“I never thought I would ever see a picture with Itama in it...” Sasuke says looking at the third boy in the picture. His eyes softened. 

“It is too bad he didn’t make it out alive...” Haku sighed and turned his head to Naruto. 

“Oh god he is even more handsome up close.” Haku says, “How did a handsome man like you ever marry Sasuke.” 

“Don’t answer that,” Sasuke tells Naruto. 

“Hey,” Haku’s hand moved over Naruto’s arm. “There was still another class I was better at. I think you’ll will appreciate knowing that I am very good in the art of-” 

“Baby, why don’t you make us some tea. Please....” Sasuke says pushing Naruto towards the kitchen.

Haku looks from Naruto to Sasuke and he gave Sasuke a kind smile. 

“Always good keeping secrets...Your marriage must be suffering from it.” 

“not at all-” 

“A little...” Naruto interrupts Sasuke. 

“But you didn’t come here to just show me some pictures, did you?” Sasuke says going back to business. 

“I heard you are a detective. You could have made so much more money if you just-” 

“I don’t have children so I am fine with my income.” Sasuke interrupts Haku again. 

“I heard you work with Tobirama now. He was so dreamy back in boarding school. I swear if he had asked me to suck his dick, I would’ve. No question asks.” Haku looked dreamy for a moment. 

“He didn’t age well.” 

“Really?!” Haku looks as Sasuke see if he was lying or not, but he could not tell. 

“I always thought he had a thing for you. Everytime he would look over at us in the cafeteria. It is like he blocked out everyone and just look at you.” 

“Yeah I am pretty sure he was looking at Itama, him being his brother and all...” 

“Oh you’re ruining my romantic story,” Haku says, “He also looked at you after Itama died.” 

“Because...I carried his dead body from the forest to the gates.”  Sasuke arched an eyebrow.

“Okay but riddle me this...Why when Danzo tied you up to a moving wheel as punishment. Why did the best knife throwing in the school, miss all five shots? Unless...He was protecting you. Remember, as punishment for missing you were allowed to leave the wheel and he had to stand there instead and get knives thrown at him. Isn’t that how he got the scars on his cheeks. Or how the seniors has to torture the freshman. We had to keep holding on to information and they had to learn how to get it out of us. Wasn’t he the one who had to torture you. What did he do again? There were so many good options like drowning, he could have cut you open, remove finger nails, pull your teeth out, shock you, there were so many options. I was blindfolded and made to believe a truck was going to run over my head if I didn’t give them the codes. Good thing I had forgotten the code myself because I was close to cracking. The one who lost would get two days in solitary, terrible. What did he do to you? You were the only freshman that came out of there unharmed and the only one of the five freshman of Tobirama’s that did not crack. I heard he was horrible. He got two days in the hole for you. Isn’t that romantic and now you two work together after all these years. Wouldn’t that have been so nice if you two ended up together.” 

“Haku, if you’re into him...Go for it.” Sasuke says, “I am already married.” 

“Right,” Haku looks over his shoulder at Naruto, “So hot. Is he the same boy you fell in love with in middle school and then your father figured it out and send you to Danzo’s school where you got traumatised for four years.” 

“Yes.” 

“How romantic you two found your way back to each other,” Haku says, “And now your married with children.” 

“We don’t have children,” Sasuke says firmly. 

“Really....Why, you make a good dad. No...You make an okay-ish dad, but I am sure he makes a good dad.” Haku looks back at Naruto, “A good daddy for real.” 

“Haku....What do you want?” 

“Right!” Haku says, “Full immunity...And a green card. No...Full citizenship. ” 

Sasuke leans back in his chair, folding his legs. 

“What ya got for me,” Sasuke says. 

[lunelantern]

~Sasusaku analysis ~

                                      ~Sasusaku analysis ~                                ~~ Sasuke and Sakura - - pair analysis ~~                                            ~THE BRIDGE SCENE~                            (Team 7 Reunion - - after the Five Kage Summit)

                                        ----PART 3---

And Sasuke knows as well.

Sakura isn't a naive egocentric fool. She is humble enough to admit the limitations of her skills. Inwardly, she didn't think that she'll lay a single finger on Sasuke, let alone kill him.

Which makes the reader (and Sasuke) wonder why exactly is she doing there? What's her motivation? She obviously can't be fool enough to expect that she'll stop him when he survived the Five Kage and Shimura Danzo and has Akatsuki and Team Hawk as allies.

It's suicidal mission from Sakura to attempt something like this which makes us wonder whether she didn't come to plead with him to stop acting so erratically - which she does in the first panels - or kill him.

Maybe Sakura had a change of heart en route after she realized that this isn't the Sasuke that she hoped /expected /prayed to find, and her repentine decision almost cost her life.

It's subtle and barely visible as Sasuke flawlessly hides his emotions and draws the shinobi mask on his irate face, but we can depict a subtle nuance of bittersweet amusement at her foolishness; what exactly is she trying to do, facing him with such obviously conflicting and erratic approaches? Her lack of solid prior plan is unflattering to someone like Sakura, because Sasuke knows exactly what kind of person Sakura is.

He knows that she has a brilliant mind, tactical and analytical skills, creativeness and talent and tremendous skills that she polished under the tutelage of the legendary Sannin and Kage, Tsunade Senju herself.

And this is the best that she can come up with? It's almost like HE doesn't recognize THIS Sakura anymore and her approach becomes a copious source of dark humor mixed into the concoction of this tragi-comedy.

Symbolically however, Sakura's indecision and her pendulating emotions are illustrative for how terrible the battle between the shinobi and the lover is, for both Sasuke and Sakura.

One can have more friends, family members, enemies, teachers, idols or brothers, but a lover is singular. SHE... Is only one. She's unique and thus all the pent up feelings percolate to one single person alone and that puts a lot of pressure on Sasuke.

As for Sakura's part, her pain is so hauntingly lucid that it's almost palpable. We can actually taste the pain on our own tongues as we hear the soul-crushing despair of her unspoken words.

"I don't care!" She states flippantly with such an implied confidence that's almost ignoramus and she follows the trite in the same manner. "I'll follow any order you give me."

Only someone with the author's superb skills can create an almost comical situation in the cusp of a tragic angst that's rapidly escalading to the peak of its drama.

By Sakura's statement I could almost picture Sasuke starting to laugh and hiss something along the lines of: "Are you stupid?"

She will follow any order, who is she, Haku?

Of course, it's just obvious that Sasuke - - as playful as Suigetsu humorously  correctly depicts him - - enters this game and starts to play.

If Sakura has no problems in following any ominous order from him that's overtly bordering the Criminal Code, if she wants to be like Haku - - a soulless disposable tool in the hands of a renewed criminal with a penchant for arbitrary murder - - then he'll treat her exactly like this. Emphasizing that if she wants to be a helpless puppet in his hands then she'll become like Karin and share her fate. He practically shows her with a real life example, her hasty words materialized.

You want to follow any of my orders and join me? Then you'll be staying in Karin place too - - half-dead and ignored.

Clearly, she didn't think about what she was mumbling and how stupid it sounded and she didn't strategize before. Sakura should have chosen her words more carefully.

It's only when Sasuke makes his intentions known to her does Sakura realize the extenct of her mistake and implicitly the fact that she is actually in real danger.

Her shock is evident as it hit home. We see the black background as we glimpse into her consciousness and souls, a familiar technique used in the manga when the author lets us glimpse into the characters minds. The transition between the exterior and interior is highlighted by the dark background.

In the end, symbolically their moment stops with the panel of her kunai wavering and stopping as she couldn't pierce through the Uchiha crest meaning that she couldn't quench her love for him as she accepts him for what he is - - Sasuke AND Uchiha.

Her falter must be interpreted in conjunction to Naruto’s words when he says that he and Sasuke will finally make amends when both of them will stop being tied to their designed role and, in a sense, Obito is right when he sarcastically  tells Naruto that he is also selfish for trying to force Sasuke to accept his life philosophy (the political triumph  of democracy as status quo). In which case, Sasuke's family name becomes a hindrance, an impediment.

But that's not the case with Sakura. No, she falters and stops with her kunai never piercing through the Uchiha crest that's sewed on Sasuke's back (she is not backstabbing him by hitting where it most hurts - - his family).

No, Sakura loves ALL of him. He accepts every part of him with his past and present, she sees him at his lowest and she still loves him with unfaltering despair. Her love stands this test, Uchiha surname is a huge burden even in Sasuke's shoulders but Sakura's unyielding love is benediction and suffices in shouldering even this burden (the Uchiha "curse" / the primordial curse).

Consequently, she eventually takes the same infamous surname, Uchiha, and wears it with pride and love, accepting, assuming what it represents, with both his flaws and qualities.

She doesn't try to change anything in Sasuke. She accepts 3very part of him. She never wavered. She loved him before and she loves him now in fact, she never gave her love a moment of respiro. She loved him continuously with same bravery and ardent passion. Sasuke attacks her when she is on the verge of laughing a physical attack as a logical self-defense, treating her as he'd treat another shinobi who attacks him, with his signature attack.

If Sakura wouldn't have attacked him, Sasuke wouldn't have laid a finger on her. He reacted accordingly to her.

When she was honest with him, his face softened.

When she attacked him with murderous intent, he retaliates never taking her lightly as respecting the strong shinobi that she has become (he didn’t take her skills as subpar, as if it was enough for him to simply step aside to avoid her attack).

She could have pour all her heart out openly and uncensored and he'd have listened to her; he always listened when she said she loved him. Never interrupting her as long as she was sincere with him.

Even so... Even if her emotions are a roller-coaster and she caved in babbling and rambling incoherences, he still calmly converses with her, in fact, Sasuke talks more to her than he normally does. Sasuke isn't a talkative person and yet he chatters with her.

"Are you really willing to betray the Leaf for me?" against, his manner of speaking reels with romantic substrate, akin to lovers` conversation. Me, you, Sasuke hardly use such personal undertone. He gives her one final chance to come clean to him because he says" really", so he tempts her playfully further appealing to her feelings, throwing her words back at her.

He knew that she was more than willing to leave the safety of her village as a child, to leave everything - friends and family - behind and become a traitor for him when she was 12, even though her lack of life experience prevented her from having a clear representation of the consequences of her actions.

What about now when the more mature Sakura DOES have the clear representation of such an act? Did her feelings change? Will she follow him blindly?

Does she still love him?

He's willing to listen, he provoked her even to answer just like wanting to confirm for himself whether she's the same woman who loves him - - who HE loves - - or a complete stranger who grow over her childhood crush (like Karin).

He also tests whether is an infatuation or genuine love for Sasuke has been an unwilling subject of women attention and flirts before (Mei, Ino, Karin, the young employees from the Land of Waves...).

She replies with a seemingly confident tone. "Yes... If that's what you want me to do."

Sasuke knows that 3 years ago, she would have so it unconditionally and he thanked her for that.

Now he's skeptical the atmosphere is not romantic anymore; is cynical, is mischievous, it's reeling in underlying ambitions and dark schemes, is mocking and ironic, is deceiving and cruel, sarcastic, bittersweet with laced irony, is trifling and clownish.

Totally different from the sincere atmosphere that melted our hearts in their farewell scene.

When the 12 years old Sakura in all her earnest innocence and naivety offered to join him and desert the village... He believed it and even thanked her for that devotion in the name of love.

But this Sakura... He doesn't believe anymore and consequently he asks for a PROOF. which he didn't in Part 1 because it wasn't necessary for he believed it.

A lover doesn't need a token for their love because love when honest and reciprocated doesn't need to be proven.

And yet that's what he asks for it and she gets trapped into his game falling badly for it. "Hmpf..." He snorts like he's amused by her pathetic attempt to lure him in a trap, mocking her and playing her game. "Then prove it." he is no more "playing at romance", he's not Sasuke the lover anymore. He's just the wicked shinobi who just killed one of the best shinobi in the Leaf.

"Kill her and I'll accept your offer." the trap is so blatantly obvious and amateurish that's even laughable. Obviously, that in order to kill Karin who's lying right at his feet, Sakura has to come ridiculously close to him - - the enemy. Which is a fatal mistake for a shinobi. You don't casually parade to Karin and pass him by with the intent to kill him and expect Sasuke to be a silent voyeur.

But one can't notice how incredibly erotic and sexy this dialogue is if deconstructed and taken out of the battle context. It is teeming with that archetypal dark and sensual bad-romance that conjure the darkest most sinfully delicious and incredibly erotic love stories in popular fiction world.

The thrill of having a dark hero who's unpredictable, passionate, dangerous, savage, the one who could give a woman glimpses of a scorching passion and fulfill her darkest desires.

Sasusaku is the very epitome of the passionate couple.

A quick glimpse over the dialogue is deliciously hot if taken out of the context and very uncharacteristic for someone like Sasuke.

"Sakura..." the way he says her name in that low baritone voice that sends delicious shivers along the spine.

"What do you want with me?"

"Why would you want to join me? What are you trying to pull?"

"Are you really willing to betray the Leaf for me?"

"Hmpf... Then prove it."

"Kill her and I'll accept your offer."

"well? Can't you handle this Sakura?" this particular line and the mocking way he says it so enticing dangerous like a bad boy... Is overly sexy. Is hot, is dark dangerous and erotic, is the exact type of fiction that entices because it oozes of pure passion. I can't help but replace the j spoken word in my head: "Can't you handle ME... Sakura?" are you capable to be with the current me?

It is hard to discern what's sincere and what's deceiving from this heated interplay between Sasuke and Sakura because it's written intentionally ambiguous and enigmatic to keep us constantly enticed and confused.

There's a fine line between shinobi and lovers and we are just as confused as the two protagonists.

Apparently, one wouldn't associate Sasuke with intimacy passion and erotica but the Uchiha is full of surprises and severely underestimated.

He is perfectly capable to "play at ROMANCE" when he so desires. When he shuts Kakashi down with "You want me to play at ROMANCE?" Sasuke automatically implies that he KNOWS how to do so. He isn't an unschooled rookie in the art of romance, he isn't the disimpassioned man that has no appetite for love and intimacy.

Not in the least.

And this is the only woman that he ever loved romantically and proved to do so only his inconsistent and dynamic character perfectly masked his emotions. He's way more subtle than the others.

He is calm up and composed, even letting her to bypass him closely knowing that she had weapons hidden under her clothes.

Objectively speaking the confrontation is absurd and lacks any verisimilitude. Sakura isn't credible and Sasuke is ironic, calm and abnormally tranquil and playful.

He's way too serene considering who he has just fought. I couldn't guess that Danzo`s death brought Sasuke a pang of relief as he's directly responsible for the downfall of Uchiha but revenge is like a drug; it never brings relief and the more you have the more toy crave for. And one would never satiate. So he experiences a momentary relief.

But that's not the case for the purpose of this entire scene is to emphasize the internal conflict between the shinobi and the lover.

[evil-overlord-scriptology]

But I Don’t Want to be a Sensei! Pt 5 (ARCHIVED)

Chapters 16 & 17

Chapter 16: A Different Kind of Peach

“No.”

 Naruto pouted, “Awwww, c'mon, sensei! Please? I'll be extra careful!” The blonde little brat batted his eyelashes up at me with an innocent smile. I was not amused, mostly because of the fact that a twelve year old boy could flutter his eyelashes and I couldn't.

 “No.”

 Naruto opened in mouth again, but Haku interrupted him, “Naruto-kun, please don't irritate Yanagi-san. She is still healing.” Zabuza and I snorted at the exact same time. There wasn't much Haku could do to silence Naruto other than hitting him upside the head with a skillet like I was going on doing if the little shit didn't shut his trap.

 Surprisingly enough, Naruto listened to the older teen and edged over to where Sasuke was still resting. It had been three days since the fight on the bridge, or so Peaches said. I had been surprised that I had slept that long, but not so surprised about Sasuke. He had been to the point of complete chakra depletion, just barely alive. Not only was it past the point of no return, but this drain was Sasuke's first brush with chakra exhaustion so it would take a while for his coils to fill back up.

 The second Naruto was out of hearing range I glared up at Zabuza who was sitting against a wall next to my futon, “Bastard.” I snapped.

 He only smirked and crossed his arms, trying to maintain an innocent look like he didn't know what the hell I was talking about. I don't know why he even bothered, he was the only one here who even saw me use the Fan of Wonders so he was the only one who could have told Naruto.

 I bet he did it just to mess with me.

 Damn it, don't tell me this man was another Shisui!

 Haku sighed quietly behind me and cool hands gently grasped my shoulders, “Yanagi-san, please don't talk much. Otherwise the poultice won't stick to your jaw.” He chided as he forced me to slowly lay back down on the futon provided for me.

 The ice user had turned out to be a healer too. But unlike Konohagakure, which had a monopoly on medical ninjutsu thanks to Lady Tsunade, Haku didn't know how to heal with chakra. He simply got by with herbs and backwater remedies, which was what most Kiri nins learned in lieu of medical ninjutsu. It was better than Iwa's 'tough it out, it doesn't hurt' ideology at least.

 I was lucky really that Haku turned out to be what some might call a medic; otherwise I would have to suffer with a fractured jawbone and gaping chest wound all the way back to Konoha since I lacked the talent to heal myself– it was kind of pathetic that I was the best healer in the Uchiha clan, really; and it showed just how bad Uchiha members were at medical ninjutsu.

 The bratling had just better be glad that he never really meant to kill Sasuke, only put him in a temporary state of death. Otherwise I would be the worst patient I could possibly be.

 Peach-boy snickered at my quiet compliance to being manhandled by his student, and I threw Haku's pestle at the grey skinned nuke-nin in retaliation. It infuriated me that he caught it. Haku sighed in a way that made me think he was the adult and we were the children. Honestly I didn't blame him; other than Tsunami, Haku was probably the only mature person in Tazuna's house. Tazuna had been kind enough to offer his home to both my team and the Kiri nuke-nins while we recuperated; he also disregarded the fact that Zabuza and Haku had tried their damnedest to kill him not too long ago. Maybe I had misjudged the man.

 He must be more stupid than I thought.

 “Hey Frizzy-sensei! Sasuke-teme is waking up!” Naruto shouted from the other side of the room. I debated briefly between throwing the mortar that went with the pestle at the loud kid or joining him at my cousin's bedside.

 Haku decided for me when he leveled a stern look at me, “Don't get up, you might reopen your wound.”

 “Which?” I asked, deliberately being obtuse. I had only been wounded at the chest, and Haku's reaction was too hilarious to pass up on.

 Like I predicted, Haku blushed and stuttered. It had turned into a rather entertaining game for me to make Haku blush, almost as fun as irritating Sasuke. The ice user was at that awkward age where talking about the other sex's anatomy was very uncomfortable, and I milked it for all it was worth. The boy's visible eye started drifting to my chest before he abruptly jerked his gaze away and stared vehemently at the poor wall. There was a pause before the teen scrambled to his feet and hurried over to check on Sasuke.

 Or to get away from me, it was hard to tell.

 Which Haku out of my hair, I turned my head to eye the Demon of the Mist, who was trying his hardest not to laugh, “Now what?” I asked. I was really hating not being able to speak much, but at least I could speak again.

 Peach-boy shrugged and didn't answer me.

 Not amused, I reached out and flicked the man's big toe, since it was the closest thing to me. Zabuza gave me a funny look to which I returned with a lopsided grin. Now that we weren't enemies I planned to annoy the man to the best of my abilities. With no Kakashi-nii or Nii-san around, I was feeling a little deprived of annoying people. Team 7 didn't count, they were just traumatized whenever I pulled funny shit.

 After failed for several minutes of trying to get a reaction out of the nuke-nin, I reached to my left where Haku had placed my weapons pouch–why did that brat even touch a foreign ninja's weapons pouch was beyond me–and yanked out a my Fan of Wonders. It surprised me that someone, probably Haku, had thought to retrieve the weapon from the bridge; but I wasn't going to complain. The thing was expensive as hell and I would probably never earn enough money to replace the one I had; Kakashi and Obito had to split the cost of it when they had it commissioned for me when I made jounin rank. Besides, I was attached to the fan I had for obvious reasons. Planting my right elbow into the floor, I managed to push myself into a sitting position with the fan in my lap. I really wanted to just lay on my futon and bother Zabuza, but I had a stupid report to fill out.

 Kill me.

 Zabuza had a strange look on his face as he watched me take my field pen and ink block out of their hiding places. He had already seen the senbon launcher and the kunai blade during our fight, so it was no wonder he looked a little amazed at the fan's many hidden compartments. Peaches even choked a little when I twisted the heel sole of my discarded right sandal and pulled out a blank miniature scroll, the perfect size for a messenger hawk to carry.

 “Is there anything you don't hide?” The nuke-nin drawled as I made the ink.

 I gave him a dry look, “My temper.” I deadpanned then ignored Peach-boy as I hurried to write my post battle report. It had already been three days since the battle, if I waited any longer the Hokage was bound to strangle me for mimicking my brothers' habitual laziness.

 'Yellow Update

 Mission status: Complete

 Team: Genin Team 7

 Report: Team encountered A-class nuke-nin, Momochi Zabuza at Destination, with Identified Ally: Yuki Haku. Battle ensued, Team Leader heavily injured: Fractured Jawbone and Wound to Chest. Genin A heavily injured: Temporary Death State and Chakra Depletion. Genin A activated Kekke Genkai, will require Clan Guidance upon Return. Genin B has temporarily Accessed S-Ranked Secret; unknown to all members of Team. Battle concluded with No Deaths in either Party. Deaths of Mercenaries and Gang Leader: Gatou. Temporary Truce with A-class nuke-nin, Momochi Zabuza and Ally. Full Report Due upon Team's Return. Will attempt to solve remaining problem with Diplomacy.'

 I waved the unbound scroll in the air like a little ribbon to dry the ink faster, before rolling it up and painting two bands around the outside, marking it as Moderate Priority. The report was only a post battle report and didn't require the immediate attention of the Hokage; but still, Sasuke's activation of the Sharingan, Naruto's use of the red chakra, and Zabuza's change of heart were all important events that the Hokage should know about before Team 7 made it back home. Especially since he would have to inform the Uchiha clan about Sasuke.

 I was about to tie up the problem with Gatou too when Haku found his courage again and descended on me like a vengeful Ice Princess.

 Peach-boy was no help at all.

 vvv

 Another three weeks went by as we all waited for the bridge to be completed and for Sasuke to regain his strength to move out. The Hokage had sent back a response via my messenger hawk that Zabuza and Haku would accompany us to Konoha, not as prisoners but to work out a deal with the Hokage. I had used my sharingan and a pilfered slip of paper with Gatou's writing on it to forge a will stating that the deceased man's entire fortune went to Zabuza; to give the Kiri nuke-nin an excuse and a place to stay out of trouble. It was for Konoha's benefit; we would lose a customer, but gain an ally and a foothold against Kirigakure if the village ever needed it. After all, a shinobi never wasted an opportunity to plan ahead.

 Unless you were a numskull like Naruto.

 “No, no, no! I can't find it, it's gone!” Naruto cried as he rifled through his mission's pack with desperation to find something. Haku and Hinata were the only ones to watch the brat panic in genuine concern while Sasuke just glared at Haku whenever he thought no one was looking. Zabuza and I straight up did not care.

 “N-Naruto-kun... what are you looking for?” Hinata asked. She had been acting strangely ever since the fight and I fully intended to wring it out of her the second we got home. Or possibly throw her at Obito and let Mr. Feelings deal with the Hyuuga heiress since I already failed at the emotional buddy-buddy thing.

 At least she wasn't stuttering much anymore.

 Naruto groaned and jammed his stubby little finger into his hair in frustration, “Teuchi gave me a coupon for one free order of ramen and I know I had it on me!” I groaned quietly and pinched my nose. I should have known that this was about damn ramen. I was seriously contemplating on sending Naruto to therapy over his addiction to ramen; but I was sure Kushina would roll over in her grave if I did.

 Actually, knowing her, she'd just haunt my ass from the afterlife.

 I shuddered at the possibility and dropped the thought. The last thing I needed was Naruto's mother coming after me as a ghost. She had been scary enough alive and I didn't want to suffer through another concussion courtesy of a dead Uzumaki woman.

 Zabuza shot me a curious look, which I pointedly ignored. I didn't wish to add insanity to the list of things Zabuza thought about me.

 My sensei instincts kicked in by then and I looked up to see Naruto starting to run off, “Hey! Get your ass back here!” I snapped. There wasn't time for this; the Hokage expected us back in a week and I sure as hell wasn't going to let something as stupid as a misplaced coupon delay our return any further.

 “I'll be right back, I swear!” Naruto called over his shoulder. He was gone in a flash, probably thinking that I was going to chase him. I swear that kid was learning to quickly on how to evade my ire, I had a feeling that I was becoming predictable. And a ninja often created very bizarre situations just so they lost their predictability.

 Obito-nii was going to suffer from a butt load of pranks when I got home.

 Haku started after my brat, “I'll get him.” He said calmly before zipping off.

 I pursed my lips and grabbed Sasuke by his Uchiha collar as he began to walk in the opposite direction of Naruto and Haku, “You're going after them.”

 My cousin gave me a very teenager look, “Are you serious?” If I didn't know better, I would say he was whining. In the back of my mind, I groaned. Great, now Sasuke was getting to the teenage rebellion stage and Naruto would likely follow soon. There was going to be a lot of head bashing in their future if they didn't pass through the stage quickly.

 “Yes.” I deadpanned and shoved him back towards the Land of Waves. The boy heaved a sigh and started walking slowly back the way we came. My hand twitched and I came this close to finishing what Haku started. The damn brat was being difficult on purpose!

 Once the damn little cocky Uchiha prince of the brats was gone, Peach-boy turned to me, “You still don't trust us.” It wasn't a question.

 I scoffed, “I trust Haku, at least when it comes to Naruto. It's you I don't trust.”

 “When why-”

 “Why did I send Sasuke after the other two boys?” I finished from him. I shrugged, “Have you seen the was Sasuke glares at Haku? I don't want to deal with that drama for the rest of the week. They can all work out their problems away from me. I'm their sensei, not a damn therapist. Now come along, Hinata, if I remember correctly there's a tea shop around here somewhere.” I didn't leave the Hyuuga any choice as I grabbed her wrist and forcibly dragged her along. I could hear Zabuza sighing then fell in step beside me without a word.

 vvv 3rd POV~ Haku vvv

 “Naruto-san, please. Yanagi-san and Zabuza-sama are waiting for us. Yanagi-san is already upset, let us not anger her more.” Haku asked as he caught up to Naruto. Naruto didn't slow down in his tree jumping though.

 Naruto-san landed on a branch and was about to push off again when a barrage of kunai knives perforated the poor innocent tree limp. Naruto yelled in surprise then followed the trajectory to where Sasuke stood upside down on a branch twenty feet higher than Naruto's.

 “Hey, what's the big idea?! Watch were you're throwing those things, teme!” Naruto shouted as he waved his fist around at his teammate. Haku resolutely decided that this was a team conflict and stayed silent. He had already witnessed the odd dynamics of the dysfunctional Team 7 and didn't wish to be sucked further in to their insanity.

 Sasuke-san didn't sound very amused, “That's payback for not being a team player. You've wasted enough of our time already, let's head back. Yanagi-itoko is pissed.”

 Naruto slumped a little and Haku was mildly surprised that he was already giving in. During one of the many dinners that Yanagi-san practically twisted arms, particularly Zabuza-sama's, to make sure everyone was present, Naruto-san had declared his own nindo way: that he would never give up no matter what. The way the preteen had said it made Haku think Naruto would never stop, not even for the most trivial matters.

 “Okay, I get it.” Sasuke scoffed in victory, but it proved to be premature, “I will... right after I take care of my business!” Naruto-san exclaimed and leaped under Sasuke-san. Naruto patted his rear end in a very immature manner, “Like I'd ever take orders from you, bone-head!” He called to Sasuke, who looked a little bewildered.

 Haku sighed when Sasuke-san shot after his teammate. He had planned to return to Zabuza-sama now that Yanagi-san had sent Sasuke-san after Naruto, but it looked to be he was going to have to go after them and act as the mediator between the two stubborn genin.

 It didn't take long for the three of them to reach the little town where Gatou had been killed. Haku followed after the two younger boys from a short distance, just beyond hearing range. He had stopped for a moment earlier to put on his cracked pseudo hunter-nin mask to hid his burn scars and hadn't bothered to regain the distance it had cost him; he wasn't trying to stop Naruto like Sasuke-san was. Haku saw no need to since they were already in the town, it would just be better for all of them if Naruto-san finished his business and went back willingly. Why Sasuke didn't see that was beyond the Kiri nuke-nin.

 There was a poof of smoke that indicated the use of a jutsu and Haku nearly fell off the roof when he saw that Naruto had transformed into a busty naked girl with only scant puffs of chakra smoke to cover her...

 Haku blushed.

 Yanagi-san had already exploited Haku's aversion to the awkward topic of women anatomy ever since she regained her ability to speak. Zabuza-sama had been no help at all since he found the whole thing amusing. Haku had a sneaking suspicion that Zabuza had intentionally told Yanagi about Haku's dislike of the topic to get back at him for ignoring his master those first three days when Yanagi-san had been unconscious. Haku would have probably continued avoiding Zabuza-sama if Yanagi hadn't, almost literally, bashed their heads together and flat out told them what the other was feelings about Haku's near death.

 For such a surly woman, she did think of others... sometimes.

 While Haku had been trying to collect his dazed thoughts, Sasuke-san thankfully broke the transformation jutsu and had tied Naruto-san up with ninja wire. Haku quickly leaped the rest of the way until he was crouching on the roof directly above the Konoha genin.

 “Just give it up would you?” Sasuke-san asked in that emotionless, slightly condescending, voice he often used when around Naruto. Haku watched the Uchiha boy curiously. They were already in town, to drag Naruto-san back now would be just a waste of time. It was better to let the blonde boy get his coupon and head back, that way they killed two birds with one stone. Right?

Another voice spoke, “Hey! What are you two doing here?” The three boys looked at the speaker. Tazuna-san stood in front of Naruto, looking as if he were about to go on another journey, if the pack on his back was anything to go by. Now that the Great Naruto Bridge was finished, Tazuna would likely be raking in more commissions to build bridges, so it was no surprise to Haku. In fact, if Zabuza-sama decided to stay in the Land of Waves they would probably be escorting Tazuna-san around a lot. Kind of ironic, at least to Haku.

 Naruto brightened at the sight of his team's former employer, “Tazuna-oji! Talk about perfect timing!” He tried to move, but Sasuke jerked on his 'leash', “Ya see I left something at your place.”

 Tazuna-san leaned down so he was closer to Naruto's level, “Wait, let me guess. A little slip of paper?” Naruto nodded happily. “Inari-chan wanted to make sure you had so he ran off a little while ago to take it to you.” Haku mentally winced at that. If Inari-san caught up to the rest of their group, he would have to face Yanagi-san. During their time at Tazuna's house, Haku got the instinct impression that Inari was scared of Yanagi. Knowing the jounin, it probably wasn't unfounded.

 Really, Yanagi-san was just like Zabuza-sama.

 Haku leaped from the roof, surprising Tazuna-san, “Come on. Let us head back, Naruto-san. Maybe we'll come across Inari-san.” He suggested quietly. Naruto seemed to cheer up at the thought but Sasuke-san narrowed his dark eyes at Haku. Haku immediately backed away, he knew that Sasuke-san was touchy about the subject of his defeat and Haku had no intention on broaching the topic until Sasuke-san was more calm, if ever. Haku didn't like conflict of any kind, not even verbally.

 After a few tense seconds of silence, Sasuke-san reached down and cut the ninja wire from Naruto. He turned away and stuffed his hands in his pockets, “Let's go.” He ordered flatly before walking back to the way they came. Naruto-san shot to his feet, dusting off his orange jumpsuit and ran off after his teammate, pausing just briefly to wave good-bye to Tazuna. Haku watched the two genin go with fatigue before tiredly wondering after them. In the scant three weeks he had known Team 7 he had already seen more drama than the entirety of his time with Zabuza-sama.

 Haku seriously doubted he was going to survive the rest of the week with them.

 “Inari! Hey Inari!” Naruto-san was calling as the three of them walked calmly back up the road that they were taking back to Konoha. Naruto was looking left and right, trying to peer into foliage for the little boy. Sasuke-san and Haku walked flanked him, Haku was trying to help Naruto look while Sasuke-san just walked with his hands folded behind his head, he apparently did not wish to help. Haku did not blame him though. Sasuke-san didn't seem like the person to help unless it benefited him. He acted like a true shinobi, unlike Haku who was too soft.

 Naruto-san stopped and planted his fists on his hips, “Huh, I was sure Inari would be down this way...” He mumbled to himself. Haku startled when Naruto suddenly twisted around and pointed an accusing finger to the casual Sasuke-san leaning against a nearby tree. “Hey Sasuke! Get over here and help me look too, would ya?!”

 Sasuke turned his nose in the air, “Listen, Inari when looking for you. This doesn't involve me.” He said with mild contempt. Haku tilted his head to look at the younger dark haired boy. He had often heard that teenagers were rebellious, but he never had been able to witness it himself since he was always around Zabuza-sama who avoided other kids like the plague. He wondered mildly if this was what those people meant.

 Naruto gritted his teeth, “Ah c'mon! Whatever happened to teamwork, huh?!”

 “That's the only reason I'm here with you now, show some gratitude, loser.”

 Haku could hear Naruto's teeth gritting from a few feet away and he winced at the sound. “I'll. Show. You. Gratitude.” Naruto seethed as he stomped off into the woods, punctuating each word with a footstep.

 Haku wanted to comment but felt that it wasn't his place. Besides, Sasuke-san did not seem to like him and Naruto-san didn't look to be in the mood to hear advice from anyone.

 “Hey, where are you going?” Sasuke questioned as he watched his hot headed teammate stomp away.

 “Shut up! I need to go take a leak!” Haku grimaced at Naruto's uncouth manner. It was at times like this that Naruto reminded Haku of the Demon Brothers Zabuza-sama employed. Haku rarely used the word 'dislike', but he did not like those chūnin nuke-nins that followed Zabuza-sama around like unwanted filth.

 Naruto-san bent down to grab something and wondered aloud, “What's my ramen coupon doing out here?” That seemed to prick Sasuke's interest as the other boy came to look over Naruto's shoulder. Haku joined them a little later, but didn't get to close. He didn't feel like he belonged here, he almost felt like a babysitter really.

 Sasuke jerked, seeing something that Haku could not, “Wait a second, look there.” He pointed to the forest floor in front of the duo. Haku looked over the boys' shoulder and saw many footprints in the area. Some big and some... childlike. It wasn't hard to figure out that Inari, and possibly a few friends, had been kidnapped.

 Haku stepped up so he was Naruto's other side, “A fight. Likely a few thugs got a way and decided to take a cowards form of revenge.” He spoke for the first time since they had gone in search of Inari-san.

 There was only a moment's warning before the clouds that had been looming in the sky all day broke and poured their load down on all three of the boys.

 vvv Normal POV vvv

 “Just in time.” I commented as we ducked under the tea shop awning just as the deluge began. I was glad, I didn't have to worry about my hair frizzing up any more than normal. It was bad enough that Naruto called me 'Frizzy-sensei' I didn't want to give anyone else a reason to call me that. The hostess smiled at the three of us and waved us to sit down on the long bench in front before she bowed to us and asked for our orders.

 I rambled off mine and Hinata's, knowing that the little Hyuuga heiress probably wouldn't have it in her to speak up, and leaned back so Peaches could do the same; I was mildly astonished that he ordered water. When the old lady ducked back into the tiny shop, I turned to give Zabuza a look, “Are Kiri nin so obsessed with water they drink it everywhere?” I asked incredulously.

 Peach-boy gave me a glare that could evaporate the rain water off my clothes, “No.”

 I was not letting him get away with that for an answer. I didn't like talking to people much, but I hated awkward silenced even worse. “We're at a tea shop it's generally accepted that people drink tea here.” I pointed out slowly.

 For a moment, I thought Zabuza might actually try and hit me. If he did, then Zabuza vs. Yanagi Round Three would commence. “I don't like tea.” He snapped. Seriously, this guy was never social unless Haku was around and even then it was still a 50/50 chance.

 Now Hinata was giving Zabuza a look. People from Konoha practically lived on tea, especially those living in more traditional clans like Hinata and I. In Konoha, someone saying they didn't like tea was like Naruto suddenly declaring that he detested ramen and became a nuke-nin because the Hokage refused to outlaw it.

 Peachy didn't miss our shared horrified looks. He glare turned defensive and he looked away with a harrumph, mumbling something about stewed leaf water and pesky women. I smirked.

 Yanagi: 17 Zabuza: 12

 Another costumer ducked under the tea shop awning and flapped their soaked leather coat out, spraying the three of us in a fine cold spray, but he didn't remove his hood. Suspicious. Zabuza released a hissed breath and glared at the newcomer out of the corner of his eye. I pretended to ignore them as the lady came out sporting trays with our orders and came to take the order of the new costumer. Hinata gingerly took her cup of hot tea while I popped a stick of sweet dango in my mouth. Even from only two seats away, I could barely hear the newcomer as they spoke with the hostess and that only raised my suspicions.

 Without thinking about it, I nudged Zabuza and handed him his wimpy glass of water to excuse the action. In return he nodded in acknowledgment as he pulled down a few of his bandages to reveal his mouth and took a casual sip of water. The whole exchange was smooth and nothing was suspicious about it. Strange that only a month ago we were enemies and now we were working together as if we had been for years. But I guess being under the same roof for nearly three weeks did that to a group of enemies-turned-allies.

 “So when do you think those brats will get back?” I asked, to keep in character. It would seem suspicious to the tea lady, and possibly the newcomer if he had been watching us before, if we all just fell silent.

 Zabuza grunted and said nothing.

 I rolled my eyes, and not for show either. This man was just as annoying as Obito-nii, only in the opposite way. “Might as well be talking to myself.” I grumbled and popped another dumpling in my mouth, taking all my anger out on it by chewing the poor thing. My anger only elevated when I saw Zabuza's smirk before he brought his water to his lips.

 Soon the dango was all gone, eaten by myself really. Zabuza didn't like sweets apparently and Hinata said she wasn't hungry, though I suspected she only said that to please me. I would have forced her to eat one so she wouldn't be hungry, but decided against it to teach her another hidden lesson. Hinata needed to stop being a people pleaser, in the world of shinobi people would take advantage of her faster than she could blink. The Hyuuga needed to grow a little backbone and courage, otherwise everyone would walk over her more times than a welcome mat. I was sure her father already took advantage of her soft nature and it wouldn't be long before she broke if nothing was done.

 The newcomer had yet to take his hood off. Zabuza and I had already written him off as an enemy, but now Hinata was starting to get the drift. Though she was a green genin and not all the confident, I knew that Hinata was the most observant on out of my trio of brats. Having grown up in the Hyuuga clan and having a functioning Byakugan, Hinata had an eye for detail. A Hyuuga could look at a scene for three seconds, without their Kekke Genkai activated, and rattle back immediately everything in perfect detail. There was a reason why they were the ones assigned the missions that entailed guarding someone or finding lost items. So it was no surprise to me when Hinata began stiffening. Hurriedly I nudged her in the side so not to alert the mystery man.

 “Oi, wanna split a plate of dango? I'm still hungry, but I don't think I can eat all of it this time.” I said easily as I shot a warning look at my student. Hinata luckily caught on to it and nodded before looking down at her lap. Leaning back a little, I waved to the tea shop owner from the large window put behind the bench for that purpose. She nodded at me to show she acknowledged me and continued make the stranger's order.

 vvv 3rd POV~Haku vvv

 “Eh?! Inari did what?!” Naruto-san practically shrieked when Inari's friends told him what happened. Sasuke now looked concerned instead of indifferent about the whole thing. Though, Haku believed that Sasuke-san had been concerned ever since they found the signs of a fight, he was just showing that emotion now instead of suppressing it like he normally did.

 Haku stepped in before Naruto-san could question the obviously traumatized kids further, “Naruto-san, we must go. I know these men, if they find Inari-san...” He trailed off, not wishing to go into detail. Not only were there young kids present, but Sasuke and Naruto were still younger than him and obviously fresh genin. He doubted they had witnessed the true horrors of reality yet. To them everything was still good versus bad; with the bad losing horribly and the good getting away with no permanent injuries.

 Sasuke-san, however, seemed to have a notion of just how bad the situation was for he grabbed Naruto by the arm. “Go back and warn the town.” He ordered the kids before tugging his teammate along into a run. Haku zipped ahead of them. He had been trained as a hunter-nin before Zabuza-sama and he defected from Kirigakure, he was an expert tracker and following after thugs stupid enough to have marked a clear path with cuts in trees was probably the easiest thing he ever did.

 It was quick work finding Inari-san in the river, struggling to make it to shore, and with Naruto-san's numerous shadow clones, it was even easier work to pull him out. Haku felt almost useless standing there next to a line of Narutos and watching as the main Naruto struggled to grab Inari-san's hand. As soon as he had him, Naruto leaped out of the water and set Inari down.

 Immediately Haku scanned Inari-san for any obvious injures, but found none. The Kiri nuke-nin was confused, if Inari wasn't injured then why had he been in the river? He had thought that the thugs of Gatou had thrown him over a cliff to watch him drown, but by all appearances Inari looked as if he had jumped willingly.

 Inari-san was staring at Naruto in a daze. He looked at Sasuke, then at Haku and finally back at Naruto, “Why are you here? How come?” He asked.

 Naruto-san gave Inari his trademark, earsplitting grin, “How come? Cuz of you! You did an awesome job, your friends were able to escape and warn us what happened!”

 “The guys are okay?” Inari asked, but before any of the boys could answer, the sound of many footsteps came from their right. All of them turned to see the remainder of Gatou's thugs, a very small remainder, trotting up with the two filthy right hand men of Gatou leading them. Haku narrowed his eyes behind his mask. He did not like those two for trying to kill Zabuza-sama when he was healing from his first fight with Yanagi-san. The only person he hated more than those two had been Gatou himself. And with Gatou out of the way...

 If Haku liked killing, he might say he was eager to kill those two.

 The crowd came to a stop and one of them, the taller tattooed leader with a cutting fetish accused, accused “You're the brats from the Hidden Leaf!”

 The second leader, the one with the strange jacket and purple stripes under his eyes, yanked out his sword as if it were just a piece of metal and not an extension of his arm, “You've gotta lot of nerve coming back here.” Naruto and Sasuke-san both glared and tensed, ready for battle, but so far no one made a move. The two leaders hadn't seen how the battle of the bridge had turned out with Naruto-san creating thousands of shadow clones and the village showing up to take back their home; but the rest of the thugs had and they knew that Naruto wasn't just any ordinary kid.

 “It's just two kids you guys, go get them!” The second leader shouted when none of his minions immediately ran forward. As if they had been the magic words, the crowd of thugs charged forwards with pathetic battle cries. Sasuke immediately grabbed Inari and jumped back. Haku was glad that Sasuke wouldn't let something like pride put someone else in danger. Until now, the ice user had been worried if that would be a major problem for someone as competitive as Sasuke-san.

 Naruto scoffed, “So, you think you can out number me, do ya?” He asked rhetorically and made his strange hand sign. Multiple Narutos popped back into existence and Haku took a moment to admire the younger kid's stamina. Zabuza-sama had once told him that the shadow clone technique was very high in chakra requirement; that Naruto was able to use the Kagebushin Jutsu twice in so little time and still create more than thirty was something extraordinary.

 Haku waited until Sasuke-san had Inari safely out of the way before joining the fight. Luckily by that time some of the Naruto clones had already been popped and so a nice smoke, much like the Hidden Mist Jutsu, permeated the area. Perfect. Pulling out senbon in each hand, Haku began dancing among the thugs, striking out like a snake and putting anyone he hit in a temporary death state. Even if these men had been willingly with Gatou and not just in it for the money like Zabuza-sama and Haku had been, Haku would not kill them unless they forced his hand.

 Now that Zabuza-sama had given up on his dream and started a more peaceful one, Haku hoped he would never have to kill again.

 vvv Normal POV vvv

 I growled and gnashed my teeth, damn this rain! It was making everything cold and I hated the cold! “It's been hours since they went back, how long does it take for them to find one damn coupon?!” I hissed.

 Peaches shrugged, “Haku will find it even if your pests can't.” Really? He was still doing the whole fangirling thing?

 Ignoring his student posturing for now, I tugged at my ponytail and glared at the stranger still sitting at the end of the tea shop bench. I didn't care if it would alert him or not, I was pissed because he was here and I couldn't pop a shadow clone off to go see what the hell those trio of brats were doing.

 Peach-boy landed an elbow in my ribs, making me grunt. He leaned over and hissed in my ear, “Don't do anything stupid.” Damn it, how did this guy get to be so good at reading my mind in the few weeks we hadn't been trying to kill each other? My own brother, who raised me, wasn't as good a mind reader as Peachy was.

 “Elbow me again, Peach-boy, and I'll break your arm off and shove it up your ass.” I threatened. I heard Hinata whimper slightly behind me and shift away. I really didn't blame her. Hinata was a genin with two high classed jounin who weren't in a very good mood at all; one of which was an infamous nuke-nin who had only recently turned 'good' and the other was from an infamous clan known for their anger induced fights and rather horrifying genjutsu.

 My comment finally seemed to get the stranger's attention, who had, until recently, seemed quite content to act as if we didn't exist. “Interesting...” He said lowly. Zabuza and I both whipped around to glare at him in sync. This was it, most likely the hooded stranger would attack and I could take my pent up anger out on him and bash his brains in. I almost shivered in excitement.

 The hood turned a little, giving me the impression that the man might be looking at us out of the corner of his eye, “I thought you were a family, guess your not.”

 Hinata eeped behind me while Peaches and I exchanged dry looks. How this idiot stranger came to such a conclusion, or how he proved himself wrong, I did not wish to know. At all. Ever. Seriously, all three of us were wearing our haiti-ate, of two different villages no less, and Zabuza was lugging around Kubikiribōchō on his back. All we lacked was a sign that said WE ARE SHINOBI AND WILL KICK YOUR ASS. How this idiot thought we might possibly be a family was beyond me. Of course, he could be trying to get a raise out of us. But even then it wouldn't work. Shinobi had control over their emotions, most of the time, and trying to make a ninja blush was about the hardest thing to do and the most clichéd.

 “And I think you're an idiot, turns out I'm right.” I retorted. I was already irritated with my little brats and this never ending rain. Being associated to Peach-bastard in a positive manner was just the icing on the shit cake of my day. We could be out of the damn Wave Country already if Naruto hadn't gone after his damn ramen coupon!

 I swear I was going to kill the brat with training when we got back to Konoha. He'd never ask for another mission like this ever again.

 Unfortunately the hooded man seemed to find amusement in my statement and just laughed. My right eye started twitching then and I was contemplating bodily harm when the source of my ire finally decided to show their nasty little faces. I turned my glare on all three boys when they came up to the tea shop, completely soaked. Naruto and Sasuke paled while Haku stiffened. He might have paled too, but he was strangely wearing his mask. After we had first left the town, Haku had taken the mask off and hadn't put it back on since.

 No matter, he was dead in a few minutes anyway.

 I inspected the other two brats and found small scrapes and specks of blood on their clothing. I hung my head with a long suffering groan. Of course, they would get into some dramatic fight with random enemies. Team 7 was unlucky enough to land a falsely labeled A-rank mission on their first 'C-rank' mission, so why not add more drama to it already?!

 Damn karma demons. Why was I the one stuck with the unluckiest team on earth?

 Sasuke seemed to sense my exasperation for he opened his mouth, no doubt to report, but I just held up a hand, “I do not want to know. You little bastards are filling out your own paperwork this time.” I was not going to be doing paperwork over an extra mission that I didn't even participate in! Filling out paperwork on additional missions that didn't follow the primary objective were a pain in the ass to fill out, more so than normal.

 Naruto and Sasuke shrunk back behind Haku, who seemed to be eying the hooded stranger still sitting quietly off to the side. Zabuza laid money down for our food, which was surprising because I was sure he'd make me pay for what Hinata and I ordered. Peach-boy had struck me to be a big penny-pincher; but I wasn't going to complain if he proved me wrong. More money for me.

 Haku removed his mask to speak, but before a single syllable could leave his mouth, the stranger attacked. Immediately all of us reacted and reached for our nearest weapons, but didn't get the chance to attack. Mostly because we were all staring at the stranger hugging Haku. Not strangling. Not holding him hostage. Not even acting aggressive.

 Hugging.

 Zabuza and I exchanged confused looks. We had probably seen a lot of strange things in our careers, but a total stranger hugging a shinobi scarred by angry red burn marks had to be at least in the top five of most bizarre.

 And yes, this incident beat the time I had to accompany a nobleman's daughter to a local bathhouse, as the 'friend of the day', only to have her almost abducted by her ex-sumo-wrestler ex-boyfriend. Somehow there was also a chicken involved.

 “Oh you poor baby! Poor child! Who did this to you?” The man asked in an odd squeaky voice. His voice was still deep but it rose several octaves at the end of every sentence, almost as if he were talking in questions. Poor Haku looked bewildered and shot us pleading looks from his prison. I seriously doubted Obito, who was internationally known for his infiltration and evasion skills, could get out of that hug.

 “Eh?! Just who are you?” Naruto shouted, pointing a finger at the stranger.

 The man seemed to realize he had an audience, even the damn tea lady had come out of her shop to stare at him. He laughed sheepishly and put Haku back down on the ground, but didn't release the poor kid, “Oh... my name is Kurosawa Momoko.” The person pushed back their hood to reveal a pair of upturned eyes, much like Naruto's, and a mess of short chocolate brown hair. A scar, a nick really, slanted over Momoko's cheekbone and curved downwards towards his jaw like a sideways hook; that alone was enough to identify him as who he said he was.

 I blinked, Zabuza facepalmed and Haku blanched under his burn marks. Team 7 looked between the three of us confused, not understanding anything going on but I couldn't blame their ignorance for that. They were fresh from the Academy and barely knew what a nuke-nin was. Kurosawa Momoko was an infamous mercenary who was responsible for the fall of some country no one remembered anymore more than a decade ago. He... She got her name 'Nariagari Naginata' for the legend of starting several civil wars by using only her naginata and pepper spray.

 All for the fun of it.

 “Last the rumors had it you were in Grass Country causing trouble.” I said dryly.

 Momoko laughed and waved a hand, “I've retired from that business, dearie,” I twitched at the endearment, “there's no fun in it anymore. I got my fill of fighting, now I just wonder the world. I'm glad I did too! Cuz I wouldn't have met this cutie otherwise!” The older woman squeezed an extra ten years out of Haku.

 Peach-boy wasn't looking amused, “Release him.” He snarled. I pursed my lips and wondered if I should stop Zabuza before he did anything rash. It wasn't like he couldn't handle himself against Momoko; for all her skill, she wasn't a ninja and was thus as a great disadvantage, but killing someone just because she was touching his student was a little... well, stupid. Not that I could really blame Peaches for being overprotective, I'll admit that I was slightly overprotective of Sasuke since he had almost died.

 Momoko gave Zabuza a shit-eating grin that dared him to try something and my respect for her went up a little. Not many people could grin cheekily at a pissed off shinobi with a big ass sword and sharp, predatory teeth bared. “Sorry, hon, no can do.” From the look on Zabuza's face, I'd say he wasn't used to people telling him no.

 Though I found the encounter amusing now that I knew that Momoko wouldn't be a threat to us, I was still frustrated. I wanted to go home not stand around in front of some random tea shop in Wave Country and watching an infamous mercenary butt heads with an equally infamous nuke-nin.

 I snagged Naruto's collar and began dragging him away, “Duckass and Hinata, we're going. Those three can work their own problems out.” I ordered. I was so done with solving other people's problems, if I wasn't getting paid for it I wasn't going to lift a damn finger to help. My two slightly smarter students immediately fell in step behind me while Naruto struggled to break my grip on his jumpsuit, squawking with indignity.

 An hour later when Zabuza and Haku finally caught up to us, neither looking remotely pleased with me, I noticed that Momoko was still firmly attached to Haku. That's when I started laughing and didn't stop until set up camp. Even then I would occasionally start snickering again whenever I glanced over at Ice Princess and his involuntarily new mercenary friend.

 vvv

 Our little motley group made it back to Konoha two days behind schedule, and thus earning me a rather stern lecture from the Hokage about picking up my brother's worst habits. Team 7 made our mission's report, as well as Sasuke and Naruto's side mission, then stepped aside and let Peach-boy and Ice Princess lay out a rough plan on what they intended to do now that they weren't 'bad guys' anymore. Apparently they were planning on using Gatou's money to start something like the Academy, to teach the younger generations how to protect themselves properly. The Land of Waves was no where near powerful or wealthy enough to be a shinobi nation, but they wouldn't be at the mercy of people like Gatou anymore.

 Though half of his face was covered up again with bandages, I swore I could see Zabuza's eyes light up in surprise and respect for the Hokage when the old man suggested he meet with one of the Nara to discuss further development on the plans. Apparently that thing just wasn't done.

 Welcome to Konoha, Peach-boy. And get used to our bizarre flavor of insanity.

 As soon as both the verbal and written reports were done, which took two extra hours since I had to teach my brats the proper way to write a report, the six of us were released back into the dying sunlight and into Momoko's waiting arms–at least for Haku.

 I, on the other hand, was apprehended by someone else entirely.

 “Imoto!”

 “Damn it, let go of me Nii-san, before I crack your skull open with a blunt spoon!”

 Obito dropped me, knowing I would at least try to attempt my threat if I thought he didn't believe me. I landed in a pile at his feet and glared up at Nii-san from my spot on the ground. Obito grinned back, “I heard ya had fun. Oh, and Rin-chan as a few choice words for you when she sees you next.” I paled at that. Rin was probably the only medic I really trusted, but she took after Kushina and her hero, Senju Tsunade, too much. If she had somehow found out about the injuries I sustained during the mission...

 I gulped. The only thing I feared the most was Rin when she was pissed off about my medical state.

 Even Kakashi was scared of her then, and he feared nothing. Or so he said.

 “Come on, Haku, we should get your burns looked at.” I started and reached out to grab Haku's arm. I was totally using the kid as a meat shield from Obito's kunoichi teammate.

 Unfortunately Zabuza seemed to catch onto my plan and moved Haku, and by association Momoko, out of my reach. The glint in his eyes told me he meant to do it on purpose, and he fully intended to see me suffer. I was sorely tempted to sic my brother on him in retaliation.

 “Oi! Who the hell are you?!” Obito barked when his attention was drawn to the two Kiri nuke-nins and one clingy retired mercenary.

 Screw it, I was setting Nii-san on Zabuza anyway, just for the hell of it.

 Flashing Zabuza a sneer, I turned to Obito, “Nii-san, this is Momochi Zabuza... and friends.” My brother's goofy aura that he seemed to always emanate faded and his dark gaze turned steely. I always loved watching people around my brother when he went from an idiot to the hardened war veteran he rarely showed. It was a sadistic joy, but I reveled in their looks of horror and fright. I snickered when my team and even Haku inched a little away from the older Uchiha. Zabuza and Momoko didn't look all that bothered though.

 Now for the icing on the cake.

 “And he's the one who injured me.” I added cheerfully, like the helpful little sister I was. Quickly, to be just as helpful, I turned to Zabuza and introduced my brother, just in case he didn't already know him, “Peaches, this is my Nii-san, Uchiha Obito. Internationally known as the Uchiha Phantom or the Ghost of Konoha.”

 Wow, I never thought anyone could go white so fast.

 Momoko was giving me a reassessing look, apparently she approved of my throwing Zabuza to the wolves. I only smirked at the older woman and winked. I fully intended to take responsibility for this. If there was one thing I wanted to see in my life it was Obito butting heads with Zabuza, even if I had to throw them at each other myself!

 Unfortunately Kakashi had to ruin it all.

 “Obito, Rin said that you're to drag Yanagi to her no matter what. Stop glaring at grouchy minnows and do what you're told before she turns her ire on you.” Kakashi commented drily as he popped into existence with the help of a white puff of cloud beside Obito, his standard perverted orange book in hand, “I'll take care of the pest.” He added belatedly and with much venom.

 “Grouchy what?!”

 Nii-san forgot his anger with Zabuza, or at least he ignored it, and snagged me by the arm. “Let's go imoto, before Rin-chan really gets pissed off.” I struggled in his grip, but there was no escaping an escape artist like him. It looked like I was resigned to the fate of being dragged away to meet my doom.

 Just before Obito could walk away, Kakashi said nonchalantly, “By the way, she wanted to see Team 7 and Momochi's brat too.”

 Yes! There was justice in the world!

  Chapter 17: Welcome… Home?

Rin had generously decided to forgo trying to force me into a hospital and just told Obito to bring me, and by result everyone I had returned with, to Obito's and my house. Like my brother, I had a major phobia about hospitals more so than the normal shinobi, so Rin knew that the only way she could get me there was if Obito knocked me unconscious first. And I would not be happy if I woke up there. Our small entourage marched straight through the Uchiha entrance gates with suspicious looks from the guards. The three of us Uchiha weren't paid any mind, nor was Kakashi who was practically an Uchiha in all but name and looks; but Hinata, Naruto and Zabuza received the brunt of every Uchiha member's narrow gaze. Whenever I returned their glares tenfold each person quickly found something far more interesting than the Hyuuga heiress, the Kyuubi brat, and a famous nuke-nin walking around.

 I was the only one who got to glare at them and get away with it!

 I nearly cried in despair when I saw the crowd waiting around the house. Not only had Rin converged on the house, but Sasuke's entire family and Shisui as well. Itachi and Mikoto-oba I didn't mind, Fugaku could go to hell, and Shisui would most likely gang up on me with Zabuza if they were introduced.

 Just end my misery now.

 Rin descended on me before I could punch Nii-san for not warning me about my imminent doom, “Yanagi-chan! I've told you a million times, a million times, that your body can't withstand so much chakra exhaustion! You're going to kill yourself if you keep doing this!” For such a small woman, she had a large voice. No doubt earned from being the kunoichi teammate of two hardheaded stubborn mules commonly known as Kakashi and Obito. “And don't you dare tell me it's part of a shinobi's job like you did last time, this is the eighth mission where you suffered from it! I know you have above average chakra reserves, so how the hell do you manage eight missions in three months?! The expected amount for your chakra levels is only three missions in a year, a year do you hear me?! Not only that, but Obito-kun tells me you passed out from chakra exhaustion twice during your last mission! Well, what have you to say for yourself?!”

 “Sorry mom.”

 In a joint effort, I received three smacks upside the head from all members of Team Minato for my snide remark. I sighed under my breath and idly rubbed my abused head as Kakashi and Obito joined in Rin's lecturing. Sometimes I felt like I had three mothers instead of two brothers and their teammate, it was ridiculous when Team Minato teamed up on me. Most likely this would end with me having a head trauma, a result of the trio smacking me every time I said something snarky, and the three of them arguing with each other. It happened every time and it gave me the perfect chance to slip away though.

 Luckily Fugaku wasn't in the mood to hear three idiots ganging up on a poor defenseless girl and snapped, “Enough.” Team Minato fell silent immediately, but all shot me looks that promised a continuation of the conversation when Fugaku wasn't there to ruin their fun.

 Couldn't wait.

 “Report, Yanagi.” Fugaku ordered me. I glared at my clan leader, not in the mood for niceties. Why the hell did I have to report?! Fugaku-sama already had my post-battle report and the Hokage would be sending him a copy of Team 7's debriefing since it concerned the Uchiha clan.

 He wanted a report? Fine, I'd give him a report.

 “Uchiha Sasuke went above the line of duty and protected his teammate, earning himself the hallowed kekke genkai of our glorious clan. Then he passed out from chakra exhaustion.” Oh, you could taste the sarcasm rolling off me in waves.

 Zabuza shot me a subtle knowing look, of which Obito caught and reflected it back with a 'Big Brother Glare' probably thinking it meant something else. Okay so I was lying when I said that Sasuke passed out, but I was not telling the leader of the Uchiha clan, Sasuke's own damn father, that the person who had made an attempt on his youngest son's life was standing right beside the duckass boy. Especially not when the three strongest Uchiha in the clan were standing right there, one of which being Sasuke's overprotective brother. Haku wouldn't make it a step before he was put through the most horrifying genjutsu he could imagine, sliced into tiny pieces, and incinerated to the point that his ashes were microscopic.

 And he thought I was terrifying.

 Grabbing my brother by his flak jacket, I reached for the inside pocket and snagged myself a piece of candy before he could do anything. Obito squawked and tried to take the sweet back, but I evaded his hand and popped it into my mouth with a grin.

 “Yanagi! That was mine, damn it! You have you're own.” Nii-san snapped at me.

 I shrugged and said around the hard candy, “I'm pretty sure that brat Inari stole my candy stash I had on me. I need sugar before I go on a rampage.” I grimaced when I realized that the confectionery I had stolen was strawberry flavored, but I didn't dare spit it out no matter how much I disliked it. Obito would destroy me if I wasted candy, especially when it was his favorite flavor.

 My brother scoffed at me, “You let your candy get stolen? By a kid?” Funny, coming from the guy who couldn't even stop me from stealing his candy in plain sight.

 “Well you can't blame me, I can't really protect my stash when I'm unconscious.” Wrong thing to say, because that opened Lecture Yanagi About Chakra Exhaustion version 2; and this time Mikoto jumped in on the mothering too. I threw up my hands in defense and immediately started apologizing. I could get away with being surly when Team Minato lectured me, but I could never pull that shit with my aunt. Not without earning an earful from both her and Fugaku about respecting one's elders. I was really tempted to make the sign to ward off evil, but decided against it for the sake of keeping my head where it was.

 vvv 3rd POV~ Sasuke vvv

 Everyone else watched with varying levels of amusement as Yanagi-itoko began apologizing profusely once Kaa-chan joined Obito and his team in yelling at her. Sasuke felt very satisfied to see his sensei and cousin taken down from that high pedestal she put herself on, even if it was only for a moment.

 Yanagi-sensei had been more bearable after Sasuke's brush with death, but only a little. She had gone from treating him like scum under her sandal to being slightly overprotective. Sasuke couldn't really blame her for that, she must have been feeling very guilty if it showed even the slightest. So he endured it as best he could, even if it annoyed him to no end. Kaa-chan and Itachi-nii already smothered him, and having Sasuke's normally grouchy sensei doing the same was irritating. He expected Yanagi to treat him like he was any other genin, it was a refreshing experience from his mother and brother's babying or his father's negligence. Still, Yanagi was very arrogant, and Sasuke didn't like that. So he thought she was getting what she deserved.

 Shisui snorted from Itachi's side, “How long do you think it'll take before she's forgiven this time?” This time? Did this happen a lot? Sasuke hardly saw his two elusive cousins before Yanagi became his sensei. Honestly, he hadn't been able to recall their names at times. When Sasuke first asked his family why he never saw more of his cousins, they carefully changed the subject and he never thought of it again. He knew next to nothing about his cousins, Sasuke didn't even know if they were related to him on his mother or father's side! And he hated not knowing things.

 “Hn. Two episodes of chakra exhaustion is enough to worry anyone. Even if they forgive Yanagi-san, I doubt Obito-san and his friends will ever let her live it down.” Itachi-nii said quietly while casting an expressionless look at Zabuza standing a little further away. Sasuke could see the gears turning in his brother's head. The navy-haired Uchiha had no doubt that his Nii-san was coming to very accurate conclusions about Zabuza and his hand in everything. He wasn't called the genius of his generation for nothing.

 Shisui followed Itachi's gaze and grinned cheerfully at the grumpy nuke-nin, “Yo! Kiri nin, huh? Odd seeing one of you in Konoha. Did you have mission complications with Yagi-chan?” When Zabuza gave him a glare, Shisui's grin took on a devious twist, “Oh I see~! Let me warn you though, Obito-senpai is very overprotective about his little sister. He might actually try to kill you if you make a move on Yagi-chan.”

 The revulsion in Zabuza's eyes amused Sasuke greatly. Sasuke had wondered if Zabuza was interested in Yanagi-sensei romantically. In fact both Team 7 and Haku had often discussed the possibility of their teachers being together, even Momoko seemed to agree that Yanagi and Zabuza liked each other. Not that they'd ever admit it.

 “What was that?!” Obito's voice carried over from where he was cornering his sister.

 Shisui actually cackled, loudly. “Once again, Obito-senpai's sonic hearing strikes! Better run, Kiri nin-san, Obito-senpai has a habit of attacking first and asking questions later... if you can still talk that is.”

 Zabuza shot Shisui a nasty look and Naruto was staring at the goofy Uchiha in confusion, “Eh? Who are you?” The blonde idiot asked, rudely pointing a finger at the older Uchiha.

 Itachi's best friend didn't take offense though, Sasuke would be genuinely surprised when Shisui did take offense over something. He was the most easy-going person he knew of, and Sasuke still couldn't believe that Shisui was the strongest in the clan! “Why, I'm the great Uchiha Shisui! Nice to meet ya, Naruto-kun!”

 Naruto looked surprised that Shisui knew his name, but the young Uchiha boy wasn't paying attention to his teammate. He was more interested in how Zabuza stiffened up and stared at Shisui with an almost fearful look. Even the mercenary Momoko looked more alert now, her eyes sharpening over poor Haku's head as she continued to cling to him. It made Sasuke wonder just what Shisui did to earn his reputation as being the strongest Uchiha. Now that he had the sharingan, he could know the secret. That's what Yanagi-sensei had told him during their first team meeting.

 “Damn it, Obito! I swear I'll kill you!” Yanagi suddenly snapped and everyone not part of that particular conversation turned to see Yanagi glaring harshly at her brother, who's expression was an odd one of smugness and annoyance.

 “Oh really? And just how are you going to do that?” Obito asked sardonically. Beside him, Obito's teammates, whom Sasuke still didn't know the names of, rolled their eyes.

 There was a long moment of silence as the two hot headed Uchiha glared at each other before Yanagi threw her head back and announced loudly, “I declare another Prank War on you, Uchiha Obito!” Every Uchiha in hearing range, even Itachi, choked. It had been almost four years since the last prank war, but Sasuke remembered it very clearly. It had been one of the few times he remembered that his cousins existed, mostly because their pranks had been leaking out and fooling other clan members. It had gotten bad enough that Tou-sama finally ordered both of them to stop under the threat of being kicked out of the Uchiha Compound for good.

 Behind him, Sasuke heard Zabuza muttering under his breath, “That's our cue to leave” followed by Shisui's loud cheerfulness of, “Allow me to escort you out! The Uchiha guards can be a bit nasty if you leave alone.” Somehow Sasuke didn't think that Shisui was escorting the Kiri nuke-nins, and Momoko, out of the Compound by the kindness of his heart.

 Sasuke debated if his parents would let him leave with Zabuza. He knew he was going to be in the crossfire between Yanagi and Obito when all hell broke loose and he wanted to get out while he still could.

 vvv Normal POV vvv

 While Nii-san was still stunned at my deceleration, I turned to his teammates, “Are you two staying for dinner?” I asked, a complete 180 from how I had been acting only a moment ago.

 Rin and Kakashi, however, were used to my mood swings. Kakashi shrugged his assent while Rin shook her head, “Sorry, I have to go check that Kiri boy before they leave. I'm worried that that eye of his might be infected, has it been bloodshot ever since the fight?” I would always be amazed that even when Rin was in the middle of lecture me she would notice an injury on someone twenty feet away. Must be a medic intuition or something.

 I nodded, not at all offended that she didn't trust my skill at medical ninjutsu. I didn't trust my skill at medical ninjutsu, I only learned it because Rin was determined that I had the basics down just in case. “Yes. I hit Haku with a fireball and that caused his capillaries in his eye to burst. You might want to check his chest too!” I told Rin as she took off. She waved her hand to show that she heard, already calling out Shisui's name.

 Mikoto rolled her eyes at all of us and shook her head, “Well if we're done then I guess I should start dinner for my own family.” She turned that hard eyed 'mother' look on me and I had to suppress the shudder going up my spine, “Remember what I told you, Yanagi-chan.” She practically growled and I was once again reminded that my aunt used to be a very powerful jounin before she retired to raise her boys.

 “Yes, ma'am.” I squeaked. The Uchiha matriarch smiled fondly at me and dipped her head in a good-bye before going to join her husband and sons. All four of the Main Branch family left quietly after that, and only Itachi-san bothered to say good-bye to his cousins. My eye twitched as I glared at Sasuke's retreating back.

 Rude little brat.

 Immediately after Fugaku was gone, Obito trapped me in a choke hold, “What the hell, ya little brat? Ya trying to get us killed by our uncle?! Don't you remember what happened last time?” My brother snapped at me.

 I glared up at him, “It's your fault, you shouldn't have said what you did, bastard.” I snapped.

 “Yeah, well I noticed you didn't deny it!”

 “NO! I did not like Peach-boy in that way, you sick pervert! Keep you mind out of the gutter! Just because I act friendly with someone of the opposite sex does not mean I like them!” I snapped and dug my fingers in Obito's left side where an old injury slashed across his ribcage. My brother hissed in pain and released me.

 I whirled on my two remaining genin, “Naruto! Hinata! Get cleaned up and stop gawking like idiots!” I barked. Both of them jolted and blinked at me dumbly. I rolled my eyes in exasperation and explained further, “Clean up for dinner, nitwits. Unless you have somewhere else to be, you're staying here for dinner.”

 Naruto immediately started whining, “Eh?! But I was gonna go to Ichiraku Ramen for dinner! I went through all that trouble for the coupon and-”

 Grabbing his earlobe, I yanked on it to shut the brat up, “Having ramen after a mission is not healthy. I'm not going to have the Hokage jumping down my throat later on in life because you die on a mission due to lack of nutrition. You're staying for dinner and that's final.” I snarled without any real anger in it. When I let go of Naruto's ear, he clasped his hands to the abused cartilage and danced around, howling in pain.

 Hinata was pushing her forefingers together again and I reflexively swatted her hands down, “F-forgive me, Yanagi-sensei, but I… my Tou-sama… I mean…”

 I rolled my eyes and waved her away, “I forget. Go on if your clan needs you.” Hinata gulped and made a quick bobbing bow before fleeing like the devil was on her heels. I watched her go and hoped that the entrance gate guards wouldn't give the Hyuuga girl any trouble. They were a real stickler about visitors, even to the point that visitors had to leave the Compound with an Uchiha escort so they weren't heckled.

 Grabbing Naruto by the collar of his jumpsuit before he could sneak away, I marched into the house, past the squabble that had started between Kakashi and Obito-nii. Honestly, those two were just a grown up version of Sasuke and Naruto.

 ...Or was Sasuke and Naruto a younger version of my brothers?

 I deposited Naruto on the common room couch, where I could keep and eye on him as I made dinner, with a warning not to break anything. The brat didn't move, other than to cross his arms and sulk. I said nothing as I went into the kitchen, the brat would eat whatever I cooked without complaining or I'd kick his ass tomorrow in training.

 After the mess of the Wave mission, I came to the conclusion that it was best if I started taking Team 7's training seriously. I hadn't expected to run into the problem of an upgraded mission rank so soon, and if this bad luck continued I had no doubt it would happen again. It was better to over-train the brats and let them be bored out of their skulls with D-rank than to have them die on a mission they were ill prepared for.

 “Damn it… where is that-!” I cut off with a yelp when a hand appeared over my shoulder, holding the chili powder I was looking for. I twisted around to find Kakashi-nii giving me his trademark eye smile. Cautiously I took the powder from my adoptive brother while giving him a wary look. Kakashi was a neutral party when it came to spats between Nii-san and I; while Rin normally took the side of whoever she thought was right, Kakashi took the side of whoever the hell he wanted to win. And that depended on who pissed him off the most. His loyalty often changed several times before the warring between Obito and I ended.

 Needless to say I didn't really trust the Copy ninja much when it came to pranks.

 Kakashi-nii went to the other side of the kitchen to stir the Miso soup. I watched him like a hawk, knowing this wasn't just about pranking my brother anymore. Kakashi tried to avoided my kitchen whenever possible because he claimed I was a slave driver to anyone who dared enter; but it was his last sanctuary from Obito and Gai since they never stepped foot in the room. The kitchen was my domain and I didn't like trespassers.

 I knew exactly why Kakashi was in here, and it had nothing to do with Obito being an idiot.

 I peeked out of the doorway to where Naruto was sitting. Obito had joined my blonde student on the couch and was listening to Minato's son as he talked animatedly, waving his hands in the air and imitating explosions–probably talking about the Wave mission. Unlike Kakashi, Obito seemed to be enjoying Naruto's company if his wide grin was anything to go by.

 Looking back at Kakashi, I debated on saying anything. Minato-san's death was a touchy subject for any member of Team Minato, but it was a personal issue to Kakashi-nii. Kakashi had known Minato-san longer than Obito and Rin; and even though all three of them saw the blonde Yondaime as a father figure, it was Kakashi that Minato practically raised.

 “So did you ever decide what to do with Netsui?” I asked casually as I returned to chopping vegetables. Even the most oblivious person could see the way Kakashi's shoulders relaxed at my question. I was sorely tempted to throw something at the silver haired jounin. I was rude and nosy with a penchant to collect blackmail whenever I could, true, but I wasn't dense like my brother was. I knew when some topics were touchy and best avoided at all costs; having quite a few subjects I liked to avoid myself.

 Especially when the other person had a very nasty mean streak that rivaled mine and my brother's combined.

 Kakashi hummed from his side of the small kitchen, “Yes. I gave him a trial run, which he passed. He starts training full time next week. Also,” Kakashi's voice turned a little colder, “why didn't you tell me that his twin sister was a fangirl? She wouldn't stop yapping about Sasuke-kun when I took her to Rin.” He hissed at me.

 I laughed, “Oh did I forget to mention that part?” I asked in false surprise then laughed even louder when Kakashi glared at me.

 “What did Rin-chan do to you to piss you off?”

 “Nothing. Really, it's more like what Nerai did to me. We know how Rin is when she's annoyed.”

 Kakashi-nii grimaced, probably remembering a few such instances. While both men on Team Minato had more leeway than most people when it came to Rin, she could only take so much of their incessant bickering before she started smashing heads together. Hard.

 I waved Kakashi away before he could say anything else, “If you're going to be in here, then set the table. And make sure you wipe it down before you do anything! I know how you and my brother are!” Obito and Kakashi were notorious for setting the table without cleaning it first. I always cringed at the thought of eating at a dirty table, but everyone always told me it was just my clean freak showing. I always responded by telling them to go to hell. It was my kitchen and my table. If they wanted to eat my food then they better listen to what I told them to do, damn it!

 “Ugh! No, I'm not eating it!” Naruto whined half an hour later after I finally managed to wrangle my student and Obito into the kitchen to sit down and eat. Already I was regretting letting those two idiots be friends instead of hating each other. All they did was just bounce their idiocy off each other until it was unbearable. I had to actually threaten Kakashi with blackmail so he wouldn't leave me alone with Idiot One and Two.

 Needless to say he wasn't very happy with me.

 I laid my hands flat on the table and towered over the blonde brat, “Listen here, Dumbass, you're going to eat what I cooked or you can starve.”

 “Ha! You can't stop me from eating when I leave! I can easily go home and eat ramen!”

 “Don't think I won't burn your ramen stash; and I am perfectly willing to blackmail Teuchi-san into banning you from his ramen stand. You can ask Kakashi and Obito how far I'm willing to go to get my way. Eat your vegetables, idiot, or starve.”

 “You're not my mom!”

 My eye twitched. This brat was really trying my patience, “No, but I am your sensei and legal guardian. If I say jump, you say-”

 Naruto cut me off, “Wait, really?”

 I blinked momentarily in confusion, thinking he was answering me. When I saw that odd look of eagerness and hope in the brat's bright blue eyes I understood what he was asking. This was Naruto I was talking to, someone who had only been treated with disdain and neglect throughout of his childhood. Underneath that loudmouth idiocy facade he had, Naruto was really just a lost little kid who wanted a family.

 Rolling my eyes, I sat back down with a scoff, “Duh. Did you even read the Shinobi Handbook? Law is that orphaned genin are automatically wards of their jounin sensei until they turn sixteen or become chūnin. Even if they have relatives, it's overlooked to prevent confusion and unnecessary conflict. The only exception is if the genin is part of a clan, and then they just become wards to the clan leader.” Like Nii-san and I had been when our parents died. But both Rin and Kakashi had been legally considered Minato and Kushina's wards. Technically, Kakashi, Rin and I all had joint custody over Naruto; as well as his godfather Jiraiya wherever the hell that pervert was at the moment.

 If a fight about guardianship ever broke out over Naruto, I had a feeling that all of Konoha would eventually be dragged into it.

 There was a silence over the table as Naruto stared at me in astonishment and slight awe, which made me very uncomfortable. I wasn't a very affectionate person, and while I enjoyed glances of wonder because the person thought I was amazing, I did not like being stared at. I glared at him, “Shut up and eat your stir fry.”

 Naruto pouted.

 “Get used to it, gaki. This is the way my imoto shows affection,” Obito snorted. I glared at my brother but said nothing as he took a large bite of his oyakodon Donburi, his favorite food. Immediately Nii-san spat it back out and lunged for his water glass, draining the whole thing in one fell swoop.

 Obito was a wimp when it came to spicy foods.

 “YANAGI!!!” My brother roared and I took that as my cue to flee the scene until further notice. It might be best if I begged someone for a place to sleep for the night.

 The Prank War had started.

 vvv

 “Alright, bratlings, time to get serious.” I said the moment the last member of my students, Hinata surprisingly, appeared the next day. I felt an odd mixture of pride and annoyance when all three of them went white as a sheet.

 ...Maybe I was being too harsh on them...

 Naw.

 I held up one bell, “If you get this bell by lunch I won't use you as training dummies for the rest of the day and I won't request the Retrieve Tora mission for a month.” I was going to pull a classic Team 7 Sensei maneuver, minus the hidden teamwork message since I didn't have time for that bullshit. After all, what was this generation's Team 7 if I didn't force them to do the bell test at least once in their lives? I had never personally experienced it, but I knew enough from when Nii-san complained about it.

 Needless to say I had their undivided attention now. My grin turned a smidgen more evil as I added, “and you better came at me with the intent to kill, because I'm not going to hold back.” Cue the 'oh shit' looks on my cute little genin's faces. “Ready… Go!”

 They lasted ten minutes.

 I casually eyed the slightly ruffled training ground with mild distaste. When Nii-san and I spared, on the rare occasion that we weren't at each other's throats long enough to have a friendly spare, there would be at least a tree or two uprooted and several burn marks. When Kakashi-nii joined us, Fugaku was forced to reconstruct the demolished training grounds. And he was never happy about it.

 But we were never as destructive as Itachi-san and Shisui. Fugaku actually banned the two from sparing in the Uchiha Compound.

 There wasn't even a broken tree limp from Team 7's rather pathetic attempt at fighting. It was a wonder how they had survived the Wave mission. I pinned each genin with a glare. “Up. Again.” I barked and fell back into stance. Naruto wasn't the only one to groan as they climbed to their feet.

 By noon I still hadn't broken a sweat and the brats still didn't get close to the bell. And that was only because Sasuke and Naruto somehow got it into their heads that this exercise was no longer about teamwork but a pissing contest between two idiots. Even Hinata was starting to get frustrated with the two of them when I called time.

 I was irritated enough by then that I bashed the boys' heads together hard to get them to shut up, “If I have to beat this stubbornness out of you I will,” I snarled, “even if I have to tie you together!” Both boys winced in horror at the thought. Maybe it would scare them into working together finally.

 Turning to Hinata, I opened my mouth to tell her how she failed the exercise and noticed her wide lavender eyes filling with horror. I grinned, sometimes it was just fun to traumatize kids. Not because they needed to face reality or because it was an accident, but it was just so damn fun-

 It was hard to describe what happened next. One moment I was smirking evilly down at the shy little kunoichi and the next I was wet, as in soaked to the bone. And not only that, I was cold. If I wasn't mistaken there was an ice cube sliding down the back of my shirt, along my spine.

 I fucking hated the cold.

 Turning around slowly I pinned my grinning brother with a deadly look. On either side of Obito, Naruto and Sasuke looked both horrified and amused at the same time. So they were in on it then. “...Obito...” I hissed through my chattering teeth. Steam rolled off my as the water evaporated quickly under my spiking fire aligned chakra.

 Nii-san cackled something about revenge best served cold and chucked the bucket he had used at my head before poofing away. Only a shadow clone then.

 But I was certain Sasuke and Naruto weren't clones. They might not be the instigator, but they would do in a pinch until I got my hands on that bastard.

 VVV^^^OMAKE^^^VVV

 Deadly Reputation

 vvv 3rd Person vvv

 “We don't need your help.” Zabuza snapped as the woman who had been yelling at Yanagi checked Haku's eye. The poor boy stood there awkwardly, trying not to blink as the stranger stared intently at his bloodshot eye.

 Rin ignored the grouchy man's comment as she produced a scroll from her weapons pouch. She handed it to the boy with a smile, “Apply this salve to your burns twice a day. The ingredients are listed on the scroll so you can make your own once you run out. And don't worry about your eye, it'll heal on it's own!” Haku blinked at the kind woman, he wasn't used to people giving him something with no strings attached.

 An arm snaked around Haku's shoulders and the ice user stiffened when he saw the owner of the arm was none other than the famous Shunshin no Shisui. Zabuza-sama had told Haku many stories of the Uchiha who made Ao, one of the best hunter-nins in Kirigakure, turn tail and run with little effort. Shisui was herald as being the Master of Genjutsu, praised even by his own clansmen. Haku didn't feel very safe with one of the strongest shinobi in Konoha standing right next to him.

 “Don't worry, Rin-san! My buddy Haku-kun will be fine, you can go back to yelling at Yagi-chan if you want.” Shisui said with a cheerful wink. Rin rolled her eyes at the goofy Uchiha as she left the foreign shinobi with Shisui. He reminded her so much of Obito before the war changed him. While her teammate hadn't changed too much there were times, Rin noticed, when he would grow quiet and stare off into the distance, probably remembering whatever had happened to him during the time he was thought to be dead.

 Zabuza growled at Shisui for his familiarity, but didn't dare say a word. As infamous as he was to Kiri nins, there was little to nothing known about Shunshin no Shisui; other than his ruthless genjutsu and his frightful speed. Kiri shinobi were naturally fast, probably the fastest of the five nations after Kumo, and masters of stealth; but Uchiha Shisui had no problem catching any Mist shinobi that crossed his path. Zabuza didn't know how the Uchiha would react if he snapped at him. After dealing with Yanagi, who would react with harsh violence and an explosion of insults that made Zabuza want to blush, he was leery.

 Shisui chose to ignore the former member of the famed Seven Swordsmen and kept his arm wrapped firmly around the awkward teenager's shoulders. Haku reminded Shisui so much of when Itachi was his age, so awkward and formal that it almost hurt. The Uchiha eyed the nuke-nin inconspicuously. Shisui knew from the moment he spotted the bandaged nin that he was none other than Momochi Zabuza, wielder of the Kubikiribōchō and known for having attempted a coup in Kirigakure. But Shisui didn't let on he knew; in his experience nuke-nin, especially those from Kiri, were a little touchy when it came to their missing status.

 Shisui had enough scars to prove their oversensitivity on the matter.

 “So Haku-chan, got a girl waiting for ya? Or did the lovely Yagi-chan scare her away?” Shisui inquired. Haku blinked in confusion, he didn't know anyone named 'Yagi'; the only name that came close was Yanagi and she- Oh.

 “No, Uchiha-sama.”

 Shisui made a peculiar noise in the back of his throat, something that sounded like a gag and a croak. “What's with all the formality? Oi! Do I look like Fugaku-sama to you? It's Shisui, just Shisui. I'm too young to be a '-sama', even a '-san'. Why, I'm younger than Zabuza-san!”

 Zabuza pinned the Uchiha with a look. He didn't know how Shisui knew who they were, he even knew Haku's name and Zabuza had made sure not to let Haku's name slip out in the bingo books, but Zabuza wasn't all that surprised. Uchiha Shisui was a prodigy, not one of the average Uchiha prodigies like Yanagi was, but a genius that was on par with Uchiha Itachi, the famed Genius of his generation.

 By then, the little group had reached the Uchiha Compound entrance. Shisui waved happily to the Uchiha guards, who dipped their heads in acknowledgment. Shisui pulled a face and leaned in close to Haku, whispering, “I even bribe them with sugar and they still do that.” Haku's mouth twitched a little in amusement. In the month he and Zabuza-sama knew Yanagi they learned one very important fact: no matter how powerful, violent, grouchy, or arrogant any Uchiha was, they all had one thing in common and that was a sweet tooth.

 With the exception of the oddball Sasuke.

 Zabuza twitched in irritation when Shisui made no move to let go of Haku, or to leave them. Even Momoko was starting to get annoyed as the Uchiha continued to bother them. They both tried to keep it to themselves, due to their protective instincts over Haku. It was no accident that Shisui had chosen Haku to bother. Shisui had seen the adults' parental instinct over the fifteen year old the moment he saw Yanagi leading her little parade to her house, no matter how miniscule it was. Every little twitch they made was in preparation to protect Haku from any potential threats. That was why Shisui flung his arm over the boy's shoulders. If the nuke-nin or mercenary made a move against Konoha, Haku would be dead before the first civilian casualty.

 Uchiha Shisui was a cheerful soul, but even he was not above murdering someone to protect his home, even if that someone was a teenaged boy with no heart to fight.

 “Hey hey hey! You know, Momoko-san, you should take Haku-kun with you! Haku's gonna need some help fending off the ladies when he gets back. I don't think even Zabuza-san can help!” Shisui chirped cheerfully as he finally let go of Haku when they reached Konoha's main entrance. He pretended not to notice how the nuke-nin or mercenary's shoulders drooped every so slightly now that Haku was out of danger.

 Momoko pretended to consider the Uchiha's offer, even though she had planned on it anyway. “You're right, I think I will!” She, at least, could pretend that the goofy Uchiha in front of her wasn't someone that could murder her in a blink of an eye.

 Zabuza sputtered, “What?! No! Haku is staying with me!”

 “Then you can both stay with me.”

 Haku blanched white, causing his burn marks to stand out even more than they already did, “Ano… why?”

 Momoko flashed him a smile that could rival Naruto's, “Because you're the cutest little thing! I've always wanted a kid like you, Ku-chan!”

 Shisui choked on his laughter at the nickname, but composed himself so he could speak, “Great! The three of you can be one big happy family!” He ended with a cheesy thousand-watt smile.

 Zabuza glared at the man, he had given up any notion that Shisui wasn't anything other than a goofy man who had a frightening reputation. Zabuza would even go so far as to question if Ao was hallucinating when he said it was Uchiha Shisui that made him run and not some other Uchiha that no one knew about. Even the Ghost of Konoha, Uchiha Obito, while as goofy as Shisui, was also known for being vindictive and slightly arrogant. Shisui was just… ridiculous. “Tch. Idiot.” Zabuza muttered under his breath.

 He spoke too soon.

 Shisui grinned even wider until his cheeks hurt, having heard the nuke-nin, “Unless your invited by the Hokage, please don't come back. Not everyone is as forgiving as Yagi-chan,” Shisui's smile slowly died and he stared at the three of them for the first time with a serious expression, “especially when their precious people are injured by you.” Shisui finished and pinned his sharp gaze on Zabuza. Obito-senpai had told Shisui what exactly the nuke-nin had done to Yanagi, and he would never forgive him for that.

 Quickly as his glare appeared, Shisui replaced it with another smile before cheerfully wishing the three of them a safe journey and shunshined back into Konoha, leaving the three of them staring at the small puff of dust disturbed by his quick use of Shunshin no Jutsu.

 Shisui returned to the Compound quickly, a smile on his face and happily greeting his clansmen with ease. He was Shunshin no Shisui and he protected Konoha from the shadows, even behind the shadow of a smile and veiled threats. He would never let anyone befall harm if he could allow it, especially those he considered closest to him.

[sokumotanaka]

I-I’m sorry did you ask me how sasuke was overly violent? On a statement I made years ago btw? I have no horse in this race but this is honestly kinda funny.

“How is sasuke uchiha overly violent they ask? Hmmmm is it the constant killing intent even aimed at his own teammates like how when he fought naruto on the hospital roof kakashi called him out on his intent to kill?

Or his attitude towards the leaf as a whole, willing to become a terrorist to gain power btw, how bout the literal lives he takes

(He was literally impaling them on spires looking crazy while he was there which is still a major crime.)

Chooses *not* to kill huh?” I can count one time he decided not to kill some random ninja and almost every other time sasuke was literally trying to kill people he considered past friends.  (This same moment he literally told sakura that if she wanted to join him to kill that person that was *no longer useful to him* )

(Look at me and tell me this is a man who’s perfectly sane and rational. This is also when he stabs Karin and goes “you’re useless to me becuase you turned into a hostage.” ???!) Unpleasant, you mean how he calls himself superior to everyone to the point kiba and shikamaru talk about how much of a pain he is?(The sasuke retrival arc is liteally full of guys going “I dont care for sasuke but sound ninja are evil.” His constant shit talk only to lose constantly in the past? Like against Lee, or Garra or killer B, got his butt kicked by naruto in that fight too!  Sasuke is unpleasent to everyone but the opposite sex and naruto for some reason.

There’s a difference between caring about a person’s opinion and calling them weak and pathetic to him and then getting his ass kicked after he talked hot garbage and decides to pout, sasuke is the most thin skinned child cause he does care! literally let’s go back to the roof fight:

When he sees the hole he made in comparison to naruto’s water tower hold he scoffs that he’s better until he sees the back blown out and he shakes in anger that naruto is getting stronger.

The problem is sasuke is not the superman who will sweep you off your feet like you think he is that’s chadsuke, made up. Canon sasuke however is a sore loser, is an asshole, is genuinely insane and unhinged, there’s 700 chapters of proof that proves you wrong on so many accounts, sasuke IS overly violent how many times has he told naruto he’d kill him? Or kakashi or anyone who slightly stood in his way, for pete's sake he stabs karin and has a fucked up evil expression.

He said he’d destroy the leaf and everyone in it that includes innocent women and children. The only reason sasuke choose NOT to kill someone is because they overwelm him, he tried to kill Bee? Beaten, same for the rest of the kage who literally had nothing to do with danzo’s plan of murdering the uchiha.

The only reason sasuke gets good is cause he literally gets god power ups but he is and was one of the most powerful clans in naruto and lost to A. Haku, Lee, Bee, Raikage (was losing before garra jumped in.) survived deidara (not won deidara killed himself) afterwards he beats one badly written random bunny god woman with help! (and the only reason he’ll ever win a fight in the future is cause he has god powers, let’s give some 6 paths to bee and see him get whooped again.)

You’re literally insane and I dont wanna hear some fake sasuke stan who doesn’t even know about the character whine to me that I would blame him for some bs you made up cause you can’t articulate that sasuke has issues.

Go back and reread that series you’re drunk

@anele-anomis 

[bookdragonlibrary]

Halloween

“Hey Ed! Did you choose your costume already?”

“Not yet. But I think you might have an idea, amigo.”

“Duh! I have the idea since summer. Wanna hear it?”

“I’m all ears.”

“Did you watch the Mysterious City of Gold?”

“No, I see where you’re going and no. Besides, it’s not a couple idea?” 

“What do you mean? They are best friends.”

“I’m pretty sure they were... Wait, who are you talking about?

“Esteban and Tao! You already have the hair! Plus it would be really crash for Taos’ peer councelor to come as Tao, don’t you think?”

“My... hair?”

He tugges at a curl without thinking. When he was younger, he could spend hours trying to straitghten it, not hesitating to pull it hard with a brush. Not like it worked anyway...

“Yeah, they’re so crash, amigo!”

Ed bites his cheek to not blush, but he’s sure he failed.

“And we ask Tye to dress as Zia, I presume?” He jokes to hide it, pushing the attention somewhere else.

But he cannot stop himself for imagining his friend in that outfit and a light blush comes on his cheek. He take his composure back, hoping that his dark skin had hidden it. Wasn’t his best idea.

“Do you think he would accept?”

Bart didn’t seem to have noticed. 

“This was sarcasm, amigo”, Ed replies with a smile.

“Ah. It’s Zia? I thought it was Tia... That would have been even funnier.”

“I heard the new season was in Japan, so maybe Sam could find a cosplay too. Maybe Tye would come along if Asami does it.”

Bart cocks his head on the side and Ed explains this new retro concept. He doesn’t need patience just for Bart’s personality but also for his lack of knowledge of the present, even if he learnt a lot since he arrived, but most of it weren’t useful for daily conversation as his special interests were often about facts, science or even art and litterature. 

“Bart, why... why didn’t you ask to Jaime for this?”

“Why would I? Blue doesn’t have Tao’s hair. Plus he does a duo costume with Traci this year. That would be weird if we do a trio costume, right?” he adds with a sad smile.

Ed doesn’t know Traci well, but he knows from Tye they are going out since summer as all the Team and the Runaways spent time together, hanging around all over the country thanks to the Zetatube and also to his dad giving acess to Sam, Tye and him. So he could go to Mount Justice beach and still be on time for dinner in Taos. Sometimes he loves his papá’s technology even if it has to bring him away and take his time.

Jaime and Traci did spend a lot of time together with their new love slowly blooming, didn’t realise sometimes they let their friends behind. Cassie was fine and spent more time with the other girls of the squad. But Bart was all alone and so used to be clinged to Jaime he wasn’t really close with the other members. He was close to Gar but he had to leave the Team months ago. Ed knows Bart could be shy when he’s in a new environment or with new people. And people he barely talked to was as new for him than a stranger. Hopefully Virgil was there and bring him along with his times out with Ed. 

The first time, he was taken aback when he saw his crush appear out of nowhere with Virgil behind and his soft knowing smile, as if he didn’t know what he was doing. Bart was fidgeting all the time, unsure if he had a right to be there, afraid of forcing his way in, until Virgil’s kindness and himself being chill made him at ease. Sometimes Virgil and Bart talked about nerd stuffs he barely undersands but he ignores if it’s because of lack of vocabulary with the language barrier or his own lack of knowledge. Virgil’s clear explanations and Bart’s ramblings helped him so he wasn’t completely lost about the subject. He never saw Bart like this, all serious. No, he was still chill as if he was talking about the weather and not electronical materials and he was still rambling as usual. But it’s all the details he knew about a difficult topic which amazed Ed. So he just listened during most part of the conversation but Bart was still aware of his presence as he explains something whenever Ed frowned at a word or a concept and that made his stomach tighten. Virgil remained silent during this moments and Ed was glad to him for that. 

“Yeah, fine. Whatever. I didn’t have any idea anyway...” Ed finally say, trying to not be too overwhelmed. But maybe it sounded too cold instead?

“Crash!” 

Preparing his costume wasn’t complicated. It was ready pretty fast. Even if Ed was so excited for this day to come, he doesn’t bring his hopes too high. That would be just two friends hanging around at a party. Two single friends, sure. Nothing more.

As he slowly spent more and more time with Bart, Virgil step backward, giving them moments just the two of them. He is closer to Cassie now. With the Team splending in two parts, Cassie was also invited to the Runaways hanging out to not be left behind and alone. And it wasn’t the Team and the Runaways anymore, but one group of friends. Sam became close to Traci thanks to the double dates with Tye and Jaime. Ed was happy for her; she had difficulties to make friends outside the Runaways, certainly because of the language and culture barriers. Traci being half Asian was the bridge she needed.  

The party is tonight. Ed cannot really think about it with all the preparatives he still needs to do. Of course, Tye had refused to come in a Zia’s outfit even if Sam found the idea really cool. But Ed is unsure if he is glad it would be just Bart and him or stressed to not have a third person to not make it awkward. Nobody discussed about the closeness of Bart and Jaime as everyone knows how Bart is: clingy, touchy and a hugger monster and also because they know how much they had to go through together. But how would they react to Bart and him being close? During all the Reach invasion, no trauma brings them together, not in the War World or even in the Reach ship as Ed didn’t know Bart and Gar were in the next room and was barely aware of the other teens around him through the pain. In a way, he relieved it isn’t the trauma or the pain who made them friends, like they were destined to be not matter what. Their friendship is dued to their personalities and not the Reach or being both meta and abducted because of it. He doesn’t want to own this aliens anything. Not even his powers. But still, their friendship is due to normal facts, meaning he could expect “normal” reactions to their closeness. 

He needs to focus on what he’s doing. Like preparing enough food because Bart– Urgh. He went in the kitchen anyway, checking if they would have enough. They have no alcohol beers and cocktails and punch also withtout alcohol, so basically fruit juices, but “cocktail” makes it sound fancier. Especially with a little umbrella in the glass.

When his friends arrive his fears are blown away. With Bart’s entrance, another feeling blooms instead. Bart was really cute in this cosplay. He even created Esteban’s famous necklace with paperboard.

Jaime and Traci have a Disney matching costume as Aladdin and Mulan. Sam was dressed as Haku and Tye as a cowboy, affirming there is nothing more terrifying than colonialism. Ed shares a look with Jaime to decide which one is going to explain it to Bart who frowns. Virgil chose Darui from Naruto and Cassie Sakura from the same universe. Ed thanks him to also took a matching costume with his own best friend. Gar arrives later, transform in a half way between human and animal to look like Michelangelo from TMNT. He was accompanied by Perdita, dressed like Belle, here incognito. Some of her guards are dressed as benevoles helping the Center for the night if anything happens. But he doubts it would be necessary – or even usefull – as Perdita is always surrounded by heroes during the party.

“Ed, mi amigo! You... you don’t wear your costume?” 

And Ed hopes he didn’t imagine the quick sad look on Bart’s face.

“I... I didn’t have a chance to put it on. You know, too much to do. I didn’t see the time passed. But it’s ready in my room. Just give me the time to–” 

He teleports right in his room. He didn’t mean to. He was just too embarassed, blushing too much, wanting to reassure Bart but not doing too much about it either. Now he isn’t sure to put the costume on even if he really wants to, his fears kicking again. Everything is too much. His feelings are a mess, he is overwhelming, completely loss and– He needs to breathe. He needs to tell him, he needs a clear answer, because walking on this string giving him headaches and he wants to stop his hopes before they get too high, before it’s too late to prevent the heartbreak. Or maybe it’s already too late. He doesn’t know. He doesn’t even know what he feels for Bart. Or he wishes it’s true. He wishes he can hide from the truth a little longer, just to be sure he is ready. But he also needs to stop lying to himself: he would never be completely ready for this kind of answer. 

He breathes and put the yellow poncho on. A little part in him still whispers he didn’t imagine things. 

He teleports back in the party and finds his friends nearby. He exhales and walks toward them. 

“Your costume is really crash, Ed!” Virgil complementes, his knowing smile on his lips again.

He would have glare at him to stop if he isn’t blushing already. 

“Edo-kun, you look like the character so much”, Sam approves. “And yellow really suits you.”

“And there’s even a bit of red in it”, Jaime notices.

“Your costume is so crash”, Bart zooms next to him, clinging at his arm. “Where do you buy it?”

“I didn’t. I sewed it mysel–”

He put his mouth shut. Now Bart would probably teasing him because he can sew, a old useless hobby...

“You can sew? This is so crash, amigo! Is there a talent you don’t have?’‘

“I... Uh...”

“Apparently, speaking isn’t one of it”, Tye teases.

Ed rolls his eyes. His friends would be the death of him if Bart’s cuteness doesn’t kill him before. 

“And you, my friend, how did you make your costume?”

“Oh! Grand– I mean Iris bought me regular clothes and helped me costumize it. And Milagro made the necklace! It’s crash, uh? Oh! And she made one for you.”

He reaches in his pocket to give him the present. The necklace was a golden crescent moon to match his golden sun. Ed blushes slighly as he just viewed them as matching love necklaces and quickly push the thought away. 

“Thanks, Bart. But I thought it was Zia wearing the second necklace?”

He smacks himself mentally. He should not have said this.

“It’s not Tao? So moded... I was sure he was him...” 

“It’s ok, I like it”, he reassures while put it on. 

And that’s what enough to make Bart smile again. 

The group talks, mixing with the rescuing teens. Ed is glad to be able to give them something common, to show them they can still have a normal live, powers or not. Some of his friends are dancing, like Traci bringing Jaime on the dance floor with Bart’s help. But the other are shyly stay on the side of the gymnasium. At this picture, he smiles to himself.

But seeing Bart dressed like that, with the same necklace and his usual cuteness, is too much. He walk to the public restroom of the building and put water on his face. 

“Ed, are you ok? I saw you rush in. Are you sick?” 

He turns his face to see Bart. He takes a paper to dry his skin, giving him time to recompose himself and find a good excuse.

“It’s ok. I was just too warm over there, you know, with the crowd. Not really a party type”

Well, half true. The Center opens only few weeks ago so it was pretty empty for now but party was never truely his thing.

When he looks back at his friend, he knows he is doomed: Bart has chocolate all over his lips as he is casually eating a brownie.

“Bart, you have... on your... Just let me help.”

Without thinking about it, Ed takes a new paper, puts some water on it and cleans Bart’s mouth. He really should have think twice  because now he is really close to his lips which are red again and somehow a little shiny with the water. He is lost in his thoughts and at the same time living an out body experience as it moves on its own and kisses Bart.

It is slow and gentle. His lips feels soft under his own. He can still taste the chocolate and ice sugar. He cups his cheek, resting his forehead against his and breathes, finally finding peace in the middle of all the emotions mixing during the night. 

Then panic rises again as he realises what he just did. He steps back.

“Bart, are you ok? Was it ok? I’m sorry, I didn’t–”

Bart’s look makes him stop. He was speechless and his eyes had widened. Ed can’t see if it is because of chock, surprise, fear or disgust. His friend opens his  mouth but looks over his shoulder almost at the same moment. 

“Guys, what is it?” he answers to the comunicator. “Emergency? Yeah, I know, but... Ok, here in a flash.” He looks back at him, as if he realises Ed is still here. “An emergency mission with the Team. Found a new meta facility. I... I have to go.”

Before he can say anything, Bart is gone. 

He screwed up, didn’t he?

When he quits the restroom, Ed wants to talk to Virgil, then remembers he left with the Team too. So he looks for Tye and Sam instead, clutching at his necklace, ignoring if he wants to keep it or tear it. They stay with him, a little away from the party, waiting for him to break in tears or get mad or anything, at least a reaction. But Ed just stay silent, still clutching the pendant.

The Team comes back few hours later with the rescuing metateens. Without the poncho, Ed tries to put a fake smile on his face while welcoming the new students. He avoids Bart’s look as best at he could, not sure what he would discover in his eyes. Tye and Sam joins him, both helping with his work and his feelings. He wants to go see Virgil so much to tell him what happened and ask how Bart was during the mission, his old self or not. But he has responsability first and those kids went on so much more trauma than he did this night. He isn’t a priority right now, no matter how his heart is currently a storm. 

After the welcoming and helping the kids have a room and rest before registration and all the administration work the next day, nobody has the heart for party anymore, tired from the mission. Ed goes to cleaning the room as an automate, his body moving so the mind doesn’t have to think or the heart to feel anymore. 

“Ed?”

With a blank mind, he doesn’t hear it at first. He notice the presence when a hand rests on his forearm. He turns himself to discover Bart, still in his hero costume, with an unsure look.

“Can– can we talk?” 

“You sure you want to talk?”

Bart doesn’t answer. Not with words. He cups his face and kisses him back. Well, with hours delay, certainly. But now, he isn’t afraid anymore of what could come next. Ed frozes an instant, melts in the softness again, taking Bart by the hips. He teleports them on the roof where nobody can see them, interupt them again, where he feels they’re alone in the world. 

“Why? Why did you do this?”

“Freaking out or kissing you?” he chucles nervously, a little out of breath. 

“Both.”

“Ed, I like you. But you don’t like me. You can’t. I’m not what I seem to be. You don’t like a real person. Just a joke.”

“I know you. You’re clever, funny, kind, you care of others. You’re stubborn and determined. Can you dare tell me there’s something wrong on that list? You can’t fake all those.”

“But you don’t know...”

“Your trauma? What you have been trough? It’s ok, you can tell me with time, when you’re ready. I will listen to you, I will confort you and I will still accept and love you after that. I won’t ask for it. I promise. We all have traumas. Heck, Gar said we can’t be true heroes without it, right? I hide sides of myself too, you know.”

Bart is looking at him, his eyes widened as he never sees them. But he can’t place what he sees though. What is hope? Acceptance? Realisation?

He cups his face, pushing him even closer to him, drying the tears forming with his thumbs.

“I know you think noone loves you, that you can’t be loved. I know it’s something you never knew or remembered, that you’re afraid of it. I promise you I do love you. I will show it to you, until you believe me and after.”

Bart bursts into tears, Ed holds him closer. He kisses his forehead, his eyelids, his cheeks, his lips. Bart hides his face in his neck, his scent calming his mind while Ed breathes in his hair, smelling the peach perfume. 

“You know, I was always afraid to hug you.”

“You can do it all the time you want. I don’t mind your crashing hugs”, he smile to his hair.

Bart kisses him again, more passionnate. Ed descends on his jaw, on his neck. He goes slow, doesn’t want to scare him, but still overwhelmed with hapiness and the love he can finally expresses.

“Ed...” Bart moans lightly.

The older boy quickly pushes away.

“You ok? Was it too much?”

“Sorry my skin is really sensitive and your slowliness excites me.”

“Ok, maybe it’s better if I stop.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s ok, don’t apologize.”

Bart hugs him, tears dry and his big smile back on his lips. 

“Oh, Ed?”

“Hm?”

“I lied to you...”

“About what?” 

“I was the one making the necklaces. I was afraid you find that weird.”

“So you have talent in your hands too? Not only the foot?” 

“We can say that.” And Ed can feel his smile against his neck. 

“It’s ok, chiquito. I like it even more.”

“So... Are we boyfriends now?”

“Do you want to?”

The little boy nods against his chest. Ed pets his hair, still can’t processing they had the same size merely a year ago. Bart vibrates in his arm, a quick regular path. The panic rises once more, not quite the same one. 

“Something wrong? Did I–?”

“I’m so happy! You’re my boyfriend now. We’re boyfriends!”

Ed smiles fondly at him, waiting for him to slow down to hold him closer as if he won’t ever let go. And maybe, in a way, it’s true.

“Te amo, novio mio.”

—————

Why I feel is worse than my previous pieces? --’ Sorry for the light angst by the way!

I know Ed is drawn after Spike Spiegel so I wanted to suggest someone new :) 

I totally see Tye casually dropping bombs like that. Was it ok? :/ What do you think of the other costumes? Oh, by the way, does someone know the accurate word for Tao’s “cape” in this show? It’s a poncho or something else?

Thanks to @gegeru I realised I wrote their first cosplay together and kiss for the @zetaflash-week day 1: firsts without even knowing it xD

Day 1 ; Day 2 ; Day 3 ; Day 4 ; Day 5 ; Day 6 ; Day 7

[quietlysatan]

An Invincible Summer - ShanaStoryteller, AO3

Link: Here!!

Rating: T for read the warnings, but don’t worry too much because of them

Favorite Quote(s): I legit wanna tattoo this next quote on me somewhere

"Oh, the things that can be accomplished through ignorance of their impossibility," 

And this Straight Up Fact

“There’s no such thing as cheating as long as you win,” Natsu says, and the brat’s not wrong.

This one’s just funny

“Chouza,” Inoichi forces himself to say evenly, “Your teachings produced Ebisu and goddamned Gai.”

“Genma’s pretty normal though,” Chouza sighs, “I never could get through to that boy.”

Gently Gai casually caring about Kakashi’s well-being is my entire reason for living, speaking of which if someone wants to come be my Gai that’d be really fucking nice because us Kakashi’s don’t do too well on our own

He hesitates, but says, "Not that I do not find your newfound mentorship to be a most youthful endeavor, but -"

"I don't know," Kakashi interrupts his friend, "I met her while she was taking her genin exam and she, I don't know, adopted me or something. She just keeps showing up."

Gai nods thoughtfully, "Stubbornness is a useful skill to have when trying to cultivate a friendship with you." Kakashi elbows the other man, but doesn't protest besides that. "She's a good cook."

And this one because I love it when people Get It, ya’know?

That's really why he won't say anything, why he won't reveal that the Kyuubi's container and the fourth Hokage's child is still alive: they already killed him once. Naruto and Shikamaru are the same age, they would have been in the same class, and the idea that anyone could want to harm his innocent, precious son makes his blood boil 

And this one, for accuracy

"This sounds like a most youthful endeavor. I will bring Anko! She will fan the flames of youth in our young Konoha blossom!"

Both Itachi and Kakashi look at Gai, horrified. "Please don't," Itachi says weakly, like he knows it'll fall on deaf ears but he has to try anyway.

"Don't worry," Gai attempts to assure them, going into his Good Guy pose, "They will produce youthful flames of feminine excellence!"

"They're going to burn down Konoha," Kakashi says flatly.

Gai's hair and teeth sparkle in the sunlight, and he doesn't attempt to deny it.

Another important one

"The world is a terrible place," she says, and she has to swallow before she speaks again, "and it's full of terrible people. But I don't have to be one of them." 

I love that Natsu-chan has great balance, this is my number one favorite character trope, and I wish more people would write it

She bends down to look at him upside down, and Itachi can feel that she's not using chakra to stick onto him, and sometimes her balance just isn't logical. 

I just love the idea of tiny genius Naruto, and I love that Natsu-chan is a seal master at like, fucking seven and a half lol

Itachi knows it's actually far more complicated than that, but just as he does not tell her minutia of the past shinobi wars in their history lessons, she does not overcomplicate her explanations of sealing. Usually he's grateful for that, but when she appears to break every known law to sealing and chakra, he's not.

"That's," he blinks and he's not going to tell her it's impossible because it clearly isn't, "new," he settles on.

A mood honestly

Inoichi now feels the urge to bang his head against the table top, because 'a huge pain' to Natsu is 'literally impossible' to everyone else.

Another mood honestly

Inoichi watches his former genin dig in with resignation. “When are you guys going to start picking up the tab? Feeding you all isn’t cheap you know.”

Hana swallows her mouthful, “Sensei, I am but a lone healer’s apprentice –“

“I have been a chunin less than a month,” Kabuto pouts, wounded, “and already you seek to profit-“

“Do you have any idea how much sealing paper and ink costs?” Natsu demands.

“Okay, okay,” Inoichi grumbles, but it’s not very effective considering he’s smiling, “I take it back, jeez.”

Okay so, since this is a 100k+ word fic, I’ve been doing this thing lately literally just now on this fic review where I only feature quotes from the first chapter (Depending on length.) but, I’m making an exception because I’ve never seen these three characters and my thoughts on them summed up so well by someone I don’t know which is to say anyone, no one I know cares about my interests really lol

"Maybe a little," he admits grudgingly, "Sakura's really smart, but she acts dumb for some reason. And her endurance is really bad. She probably would have been failed on that alone if she didn't have such good aim with shuriken. And Sasuke's good at like, everything, I still don't get why he didn't graduate earlier. He's just so-" Kiba rubs his hand over his face.

"So what?" Hana prompts, even though she's heard this particular complaint before.

"Sad," the genin sighs, "He's miserable all the time, and he works hard and if you yell at him for long enough he'll work with you, but - crap, I don't know. He's got this really great poker face so you think he's just a big jerk, but I can smell his emotions, the big idiot, and he's just this sad lonely kid who won't listen to anyone."

Hana hums, because if she opens her mouth she'll probably start cursing the Hokage and his dumb rules and his dumb ideas, and that is not the type of thing that leads to a long life.

Just one last quote because dudes, guys, pals, friends of mine it’s important and you should all stop and read it.

 “Thanks for being cool with – everything. I’m really happy you’re not mad at me for not being honest with you.”

“You are my friend,” Gaara says warmly, “and you have always been honest about that.”

Words & Chapter(s): 136,306 words of greatness, and 6 full chapters of nicely done completion

Summary: When Naruto is five, he's gutted by a drunken civilian and presumed dead.

Six months later a girl with ash pale hair and dark blue eyes enters the Academy. 

(Guys I swear on my cool as fuck username, and all around internet personality as practically satan and probably Lucifer and whatnot that nobody we like stays dead or severely injured)

Score: 13, this is one of my favorites for a reason, this is actually my second technically third time rereading this in as many weeks

Pairing(s): Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka, background Haku/Zabuza, but don’t worry anything you’re thinking of is addressed quite nicely in the fic ultra background but still there’s a lot of relationships and I’m not going to tag them all

Warning(s): Naruto technically dies more than once because this is Naruto we’re talking about but they also technically don’t??? You gotta read it, but basically temporary character death, only the bad guys stay dead in this one.

Nobody knows that Naru-chan lived so there’s that angst for you, however, to be fair it’s not like this whole story is just characters mourning and crying and whatnot, at this point it’s mostly just passing thoughts and memories which, again, to be fair, does almost feel worse at times... Huh, regardless it’s not overly angsty

Kakashi is adopted whether he likes it or not by Natsu-chan, we love both of our emotionally fucked over fair-haired ninja in this house so you won’t have to worry about that sorta fic coming outta nowhere from me BTW... but anyways, Kakashi freaks out a bit, much like the abused dog he always reminds me of, but Natsu is the sweetest and most gentle, yet forceful person he could’ve possibly caught the attention of. (This is canon)

The Akatsuki are still bad, BUT ITACHI ISN’T technically SO WHO FUCKING CARES!!!! (The Massacre still happens tho...)

Mentions of The Flower District and what that implies, and also things a Kunoichi might definitely do

Oh my fucking god the Hyuga... Who would willingly do something so horrible as that? Of all the things... Warning for... The Hyuga branch family situation, it’s dealt with nearly as soon as we are informed but, gods, my blood ran cold, and my face whited out, my sister thought someone had died when she saw my face haha,,, who the fuck does this? And do they die? In canon I mean? I think I only watched up to the chunin exams or Pein’s attack, I can’t remember which tho...

Natsu cries because people are nice to her sometimes. And honestly that’s fair, I burst into to tears once because I imagined someone kissing my forehead softly so, Natsu is completely valid... Sidenote, I’m touch-starved and have no cure for this beyond younger siblings and my cat because I don’t have the ability to ask my mom for a hug without literally gross sobbing and I have A Thing about embarrassment sooooo... yeah if anyone has some therapy justu for me that’d be nice

Mentions of Gross Men that apparently want to have Natsu’s increasingly growing collection of the absolute most dangerous people she can befriend pay them a visit. And by that, I mean an old fuckwit has the gall to leer at a TEN-YEAR-OLD and a FUCKING THIRTEEN-YEAR-OLD!!!!!! Ugh, I hate those kinds of pathetic worms.

On that note, there is technically underaged things going on, but they are also Ninja soooo???? They’ve killed people and are technically in their version of an army, and by the laws of their lands they’re all adults, actually I’m pretty sure by shinobi life expectancy Kakashi is middle-aged, Inoichi is a senior citizen, and Hiruzen is a walking corpse tbh

Alcoholism??? I don’t really think it is but I’m not sure, but some characters do drink often, and usually when stressed courtesy of Natsu and co. but still... I don’t actually know if it is because it doesn’t actually happen much, more like every few weeks/months

Mentions of past sexual assault, and attempted past sexual assault, neither happen in fic or to any of our main characters, the experiences are not graphic though they do talk about it in chapter five, it’s not to graphically described.

Also, a bunch of off-screen lemon

A Thing (That I copy-pasted from the author so that all of you will see it and not say a single word against it.): If you thought Natsu was too mature for her age - she has seen and been through some really horrible shit. But also: my cousin has, since he was like 4, hung out with kids that were about 4 years older than him because those were the kids that were in his neighborhood or whatever. Point being, even after he started school, his main group of friends was consistently older than him. He very quickly adapted to that, and to this day (he's 12) hangs out with that same group, and considers children his own age 'kids' because he adapted to the behavior of the group he was surrounded with. I hardly believe Natsu would be any different.

And also

4. Quick little note because some people mentioned liking my portrayal of the Sandaime. I base his decisions/motivations (and Itachi and Danzo's to a certain extent) around this quote by Clementine von Radics: "It is so hard to live half monster, to hurt everything you love by trying to protect it wrong."

Pros: Watching Natsu just casually disregard the idea of gender with little to no thought is the greatest thing anyone will ever experience beyond, I dunno, the party we’re all gonna collectively throw when soggy Cheeto dies (I still haven’t decided which song we should make chart number one when that happens)

Given that I’ve technically read this three times you should already know the writing is fucking amazing, like, whoa, mind blown type of amazing, like, wow, so good, I usually hate rereading something I’ve read before, and especially so soon after the fact but geez Louis is this fic amazing

Natsu is just as easy to fall in love with as Naruto, and they are still the same people with slightly different personalities as is to be realistically expected with a situation like Naru’s was.

Also, GENDERFLUID REPRESENTATION DONE FUCKING AMAZINGLY IS ALWAYS A PLUS!!!!!!! 

The author manages to convey a very realistic genderfluid character in an incredibly believable manner, while also still keeping Natsu/Naruto themself. They’re still the Naruto that we knew and loved, but they’re different too, as is to be expected. when Natsu is a girl no-one stumbles, she is a girl without a doubt, even the author doesn’t trip up on societal expectations, and when Naruto is a boy there is next to immediate acceptance of this fact with absolutely zero (0) Zero bullshit from transphobes, which, as a genderfluid person myself, is always fucking nice to see. You’ll have to read it to know more though.

Natsu running around creating seals is honestly the greatest thing ever, and the end scene with the village made me cry a lil bit, and dammit this fic is so fucking good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, there’s a scene, where Natsu heals Kakashi, and the way the author handled explaining the intimate not sexual relationship between two of my favorite characters ever is just, so subtly beautiful, the sibling-bond these two have is beautiful, and a part of me wants to cry sometimes when I read it, and usually do cry a little when I get to this scene, and only partially because of what happened directly before it.

I love the way everybody just gets up and moves past their trauma and just decides to politely ignore it, oh they still have it, they still deal with it, but they care, and they are careful about it, and even though it hurts them like a knife-wound to the kidney in slow-motion they still get back up and keep fucking going. That’s hella admirable and I can respect that, I can respect even more that they slowly but surely let themselves heal as time moves on. This fic is beautiful on so many different levels but it is this one perhaps, that is the most magnificent. Perhaps.

Sasuke is adorable and depressing and adorable and I love it. And Ino is still a bad bitch but she’s a kid so we only see it like a handful of times in the first two chapters. The Akimichi/Yamanaka/Nara are all great, and I occasionally pity Inionchicause like, he’s putting up with a well-informed seal genius that’s still hyper, a slightly frightening medic-kunoichi with giant dogs, another slightly more frightening medic-nin who isn’t the greatest fighter but damn can he be intimidating and also really good at pointing out “Certain Things” while judging you about them which, honestly, is my greatest pastime. Itachi is so sweet and then so tragic oh my gods, and Natsu never even considers giving up on him. Kakashi is so sweet, and he slowly becomes less of a beaten dog as time goes on and I just love all of these characters.

Except for Hiruzen. Well, no, I still love this particular incarnation of Hiruzen, for all that he’s got one hell of a pathetically small backbone, I get why he does shit. But that doesn’t make me happy. Still, he’s better than dumbledouchebag. Granted that’s not difficult, and you might have to actively put an effort in to be as bad as that guy, but still. Plus, his hearts in the right place, and he’s less about the greater good then... certain disgraces to teaching and being in charge of a large group of people... Hiruzen is actually kinda sweet and admits he has issues and actually has an excuse that’s understandable for the shit that he pulls which is great, if sadly uncommon.

Anyways, Sakura is terrifying, and I remembered why I had a crush on her. She’s so badass, also, she ends up Princess Mononoke basically which, honestly, is fucking great, and the best thing we could’ve asked for, I love all of these characters so much!!!

Aesthetic: It reminds me off beefy stew (We don’t eat beef, so we used vegan soy beef stuff instead, and it was just as good.) it reminds me of the warmth, and friendship, and home that I felt after my mom and I make dinner together with nothing but a little music on and jokes passing back and forth between us. It reminds me of scraping my knee and having my friends help me to their mom, it reminds me of loyalty and compassion. It reminds me of dancing outside at night, alone in the forest with nothing but the moon for company and wind for music. It reminds me of the first time I realized that I could love someone despite their gender and that I should despite mine. It reminds me of finely spun handmade lace, and all it’s delicate while also reminding me of the sturdiest of steels, it reminds me of so much. It reminds me of acceptance, and understanding, and so much more. If I were to say what food and drink it reminds me of, I’d say chicken noodle soup, and sweet lavender-lemon tea.

Music Aesthetic: So, I made a playlist while I was reading this the first time around, and instead of a gif or twenty like I would usually prefer to do I’m going to add that playlist. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLbhXmTSBbAyjk0m1b4BZUp3t0RHL83LDK

But if I were to add a gif or two it’d be these

Because something about this fic reminds me of rainy days with tea and baggy clothes.

Every time Natsu/Naruto decided to fight ever, to be honest.

[gaasaku-fanfests]

Getting Almost There

Title: Getting Almost There Author: drharunosakura Rating: PG-13 Word Count: 4390 Summary: An almost but never was rears its ugly head again as the smallest of exhanges are moved to new heights. Author's Note(s): Let me know what you think about this. If enjoyed I wanna spin this into a proper chaptered fic.

Trope: Unresolved sexual tension

Sakura Haruno could not believe that her next-door neighbor for years, her knuckleheaded idiot brother, her best friend in the entire world would do this. Yet, here she was almost too terrified to step out of her condo to start on this day trip to see the said idiot. “Well, I might as well get this over with. It’s not like Naruto actually knows about my past with his best man.”

If Sakura knew that if this was the friend that Naruto wanted to pick her up she would have never agreed on the four-hour journey to the Land of Tea with him. She did want to support him and his wife. They were doing a grand reopening of the Resort they were given on their wedding day. Sometimes Sakura just couldn’t understand the kinda money the Hyuuga’s had She supposed her ride would understand better as he similarly grew up in the world of class and sophistication and excess. Moving to grab her suitcase and walk out she got a good look at Naruto’s best man and Sakura’s biggest mistake at his wedding, Sabaku No Gaara.

He looked good, too good. The kind of man that whether he was in workout gear, a three-piece suit or the jeans and a t-shirt he currently wore he looked like the clothes were absolutely made for him and him alone. Nationally ranked MMA fighter in high school and college, tech multi-millionaire of his own fortune and grew up with a silver spoon in his mouth he had made Forbes’ 30 under 30 the past three years in a row. There weren’t many people in this world that could make Sakura Haruno, research scientist, incredible trauma surgeon, and published marvel, insecure. But the redhead smoking a cigarette in front of an Aston Martin that probably cost more than her condo, did with ease. Seeing her approach and stamping out the cigarette the man that she would be spending the next several days with approached her slowly.

“Naruto didn’t tell me it was you I was picking up. Here I thought I’d have to play Prince Charming to some... random bimbo.” He paused as he looked her up and down, before moving to grab her luggage and place it in the deep red convertible he was driving.

Not realizing Sakura had been holding in her breath for some time until she released it the moment he turned his back, she took a few more breaths in preparation for spending quite a bit of time with a man she has been avoiding for the past year.

“I’m surprised you didn’t fly there.” She murmured and he turned his head before snorting and opening up the door for her.

“I don’t like flying commercial and Temari needs the jet for her fashion show this weekend. I like not being a complete prick to my big sister.” He smirked before shutting the door and giving Sakura a moment to marvel at the luxury of the car he owned.

“What no helicopter?” She joked under her breath before holding it as Gaara moved over her and reached to grab something. He still smelled like fresh electronics and cinnamon and cigarettes and she hated how hypnotic of a scent it was to her. Pulling back the man grinned and produced a pair of sunglasses before whispering in her ear.

“Naruto hasn’t yet re-zoned the helicopter pad yet, I asked.” Before slipping on the sunglasses and starting them on their journey.

Sakura was silent for the first hour or so of their ride, glancing every so often at the redhead next to her. She remembered exactly what she felt the first time they locked eyes. It was at the initial rehearsal dinner and he was the last to arrive. No one knew what this mysterious best man looked like but Naruto was adamant that his best friend in the entire world from business school could be the only person he wanted to be the role and we would all love him.

Sakura was sitting beside Hinata and Ino, gushing over the fact that one of them was finally getting married when he walked into the private room of Choji’s restaurant. Ino was the first to recognize him and man was she starstruck.

“That is Sabaku no Gaara. How on earth did Naruto become best friends with Suna’s most eligible bachelor of the year?” Sakura couldn’t help but giggle. As she was the maid of honor (Hanabi was slightly too young as Hinata’s little sister) Sakura went to introduce herself to her partner for most of the wedding festivities.

“Sakura-Chan! You have to meet Gaara. This is my best man and he saved my ass a few times in business school.” Naruto grinned and Sakura turned to look at the redhead in question. She had vaguely heard of the Sabuko family, mostly from Shikamaru and his wild affair with the fashion designer Temari, but the younger was the marvel.

He was just under Naruto’s height but had the presence of being head over shoulders taller. He had eyes the color of jade and a smile that seemed new on him like he was trying it out for show and wasn’t sure if he would take it home or not. His hand reached out to shake hers and the low timbre of his voice absolutely rattled Sakura.

“You’re the maid of honor right? Naruto has not shut up about you. I guess you’re my partner for this thing.”

“Y-yeah.” She chuckled, hating herself for the stutter and quickly moved to shake his hand. She hadn’t been this flustered since high school and here she was near blushing at a man for smiling at her and shaking her hand.

“Well, you two are gonna be great pals. I’m gonna go check on Hinata and get this thing going kay?” Naruto grinned and moved along, leaving Sakura to show Gaara his seat across from her at the table.

“So,” She asked at the venue, they were waiting for their part in the ceremony to begin and Sakura thought she might as well get to know the man she was walking down the aisle with… figuratively speaking that was. “How did you and Naruto meet?”

Turning towards her Gaara smirked and this half-smile felt quite warn in, it suited him better. “I kicked his ass in a speech and debate class and he literally kicked my ass in the gym. We’ve had one another’s backs after that and he became like a brother to me in business school.”

Nodding Sakura looked up at the two to be married and added. “Well he was so excited everyone gets to meet you. It’s not like you get to visit too often living all the way in Suna right?”

Turning towards Sakura before taking another glance at the groom he replied. “I suppose I could visit more if given a good reason.”

Stopping at a traffic light Sakura supposed the silence had gone long enough and she couldn’t take it anymore. As she was far too terrified to touch the radio of his car she blurted out a question.

“So, what errand did you need to run for Naruto that was close to my place?” She quipped knowing that Naruto was a good enough bridge for them to talk about to start with; lest she loses her mind in the silence.

“Naruto needed a couple of high tech systems to help his POS system run on the multitude of international clients the resort sees. Making it easy for the employees to use multiple types of credit cards and translate itemized receipts was a pretty simple program to run. I just made it an offline system and there are a couple of monitors in the back so I could just give it to him to install before opening day next week. I have a pretty good supplier in the area and picked them up before I got you.”

Sometimes she forgot how smart Gaara was. How he could light up a room the moment he gathered their attention or how he could seemingly make things just appear from him. He could solve any problem at the drop of a hat and never seemed to make a big deal of it.

Sakura was freaking out. She was single-handedly going to ruin the wedding of her best friend in the entire world. Ino dealt with the flowers. Choji had catering down to a science. Hinata’s family dealt with the venue. All Sakura had to do was handle the music and her duo for the ceremony completely bailed. She had 72 hours to find another musician or Hinata was walking down the aisle in silence.

Sighing Sakura placed her head in her hands in her hair and let out a long slow groan.

“Last I checked wasn’t it the bride was supposed to be the one to freak out about a wedding?”

Looking up she saw Gaara. He was in a tank top and running shorts and yet she couldn’t be bothered to think him out of place in the hotel’s business center.

“Well, when one of your biggest roles in the wedding, really your only role in the wedding falls through you’re bound to get a bit stressed.” She sighed.

Sitting down beside her silently while he answered a few emails on his phone he asked, “So, what fell through?”

Looking at him she bit her lip before responding. “I was supposed to get music for the wedding and reception and I found this great band for the reception. That’s settled and I thought I found this beautiful Guitar and Violin duo for the ceremony but they canceled last minute and I don’t know where I’m going to find someone and this has to be perfect because it’s Hinata and Naruto and Hinata has been pining after Naruto since we were in grade school and if anyone deserves a fairytale wedding it’s her and I don’t know what I can do to fix…” She went to continue but Gaara stopped her with a silent hand before asking.

“So you need an appropriate soloist or duo that can play at the wedding ceremony right?”

Sakura nodded and went to explain her worries before looking at Gaara dial a number and pick up the phone.

“Cousin, Sasori you still dating that stupid artist guy? He still good friends with that harp player what’s his face Haku. Yeah, the one who just finished up that European tour. Get me his contact info for a job on Saturday. Wedding. I need it guaranteed but put that lovely family money stamp on it kay? See you for dad’s obligatory family get together next month.”

Sakura paused and attempted to close her mouth from the awe that she just experienced. “Y-you didn’t have to do that. You barely know me why would you help me like that?”

“I haven’t helped you yet. But if you haven’t gotten a text from me with his contact info in two hours then my cousin won’t be getting his spot in the gallery I own this year either.” He chuckled and moved to answer another set of emails.

“I don’t know how I can repay you Gaara, this is so sweet.”

Turning towards her Gaara simply smirked and lifted her chin. She could feel the heat of his breath against her cheek and she hoped she wasn’t blushing as noticeably as she felt she was. “Continue keeping this wedding exciting for me and Naruto happy. He deserves this day to be perfect too and it’s the least I can do to make sure it stays that way.”

Sakura paused as they pulled into a little cafe just passed the highway. Stepping outside it Sakura followed him as he ordered his order and then silently turned to her for her to add-in. Paying for the both of them before Sakura even had a chance the two of them moved to a spot outside of the cafe and Gaara pulled out another cigarette.

“I have to say this once just as a doctor, you know how bad those things are for you.” She murmured knowing he probably didn’t want the scolding but unable to hold back any longer.

“Running as many companies as I do at my age will kill me a lot faster. I think a couple of cigarettes a day are hardly comparable to the stress that puts on my body.” Rolling her eyes at that she conceded to her one statement and went to sip her coffee. She, while not one for too many sweets was a true lover of whipped cream and relishing in the delicious taste that accompanied her latte.

“How is the whole doctor thing going?” He mentioned after a while, startling her and shocking her that he remembered.

“Um, it’s great. I just finished up my residency so everything feels finally permanent; like I’m finally out of school. How is everything your way?”

Putting out his cigarette he paused before answering, taking a long look at her first and Sakura inwardly cursed herself for the delicious shudder that went down her spine.

“Of the Sand Corp is doing decently. Enough that my father is pressing me to sell it under the Kazekage Industries umbrella; not like I would. It seems he is punishing me for doing so by giving me more responsibilities to run under the family business not that Kankuro isn’t an epic VP of my company anyway.”

“Well at least visiting Naruto will give you a bit of a vacation. When do you have to go back to Suna?”

Taking a moment take a long gulp of his coffee, and give Sakura time to ogle the bicep that was holding it he responded, “I actually moved to Konoha a couple of weeks ago. Kazekage Industries is expanding and dad wanted me to take over the branch here. Hence making it really difficult to fully run my tech business based in Suna.”

“Oh, that is tricky, but at least when Naruto comes back or visits he’ll be able to see you as well. Have you been adjusting ok considering?” She asked taking another long sip of her coffee, not noticing the spec of cream that remained on her upper lip. Sakura wondered how he managed to do it all and how much stress she would be under if put in half of that situation

“The takeover was a bitch and I can’t find a good assistant to save my life plus I don’t know anyone in this town besides well, you and I just found that out.” Taking a moment to lean in close to her Sakura froze.

Was he going to kiss me? This is just like the wedding I’m freezing. He looks so good but we haven’t spoken in nearly a year! Oh kami please. Sakura thought before noticing him remove the offending cream and take it between his own lips.

“Think you would oppose to showing me a few places where I can lesson my will to murder? A good gym and a good bar would be only for the greater good at this point.” He teased and she frowned as he seemingly looked like he was enjoying this torture he was putting on her body.

“Yeah, I do. Perks of growing up around here and going to undergrad here.” Taking their collective silence Gaara moved to give her one of his smirks and asked.

“I might actually have to take you on a date then cherry blossom. Think you could handle me this time?” Sakura blushed and turned to look out at the scenery before them. The land of fire was changing into the more tropical more scenic land of Tea, though as Naruto’s resort was on the coast it would still take another hour or so to get there.

Taking the pause neither as a good or bad thing, Gaara finished up his coffee and stood up to stretch before glancing down at her. “Come on, if we’re late Naruto will assume I’m dead and blow up my phone to the point of me throwing it out the car, and between you and me I really can’t lose another phone this quarter.”

Giggling Sakura stood up and followed him to the car for the last leg of their journey. “Alright but just keep to driving safely. Late or not if I’m dead I can’t patch you up after a car crash.”

“I’ll definitely keep you alive but no promises on 100% safety Sakura.” He chuckled twirling his keys in his hands. “I gotta live a little reckless or I’ll go insane.” He paused before fully getting in the driver's side, “Well more than I already am.”

Sakura was attached to her phone at their bachelorette party spa night. The timid Hinata not one of clubbing or strippers so Sakura and Hanabi planned an elegant pamper night for all of the bridesmaids.

“Forehead, this is a girls night. Stop texting your prince charming of a boyfriend and come join us.” Ino chastised before moving to see what she was actually looking at.

“Oh my God girls she actually is texting Gaara.” Stealing Sakura’s phone to bring it to the girls Ino giggled much to Sakura’s chagrin.

“Let me see here, ooh, pamper night going well. Promise me you’ll send pics of Naruto if he does anything stupid?”

Sakura tried and failed to grab it, only to have it thrown to Ten-Ten, who continued reading.

“What’s in it for me? And he added a winky face!”

“Guys, come on.” Sakura groaned moving to grab it only to have the phone thrown to Hanabi.

“That’s not very Best Man behavior of you.” Hanabi paused before cracking up. “Oh my god Sakura is full-on flirting and I think Gaara is flirting back. He just responded.

“What did he say?” Ino grinned moving to hold Sakura down with Ten-Ten at the assist.

“He said, I may be the best man but that doesn’t make me good. I think we should respond.” Hanabi chuckled and mortified Sakura tried to escape.

“Hanabi, don’t.” Sakura begged.

“Kid you got this, we’ll give you the honors.” Ten-Ten chuckled and Sakura wiggled stronger before moving out of their grasp.

“And, send.” Hanabi chuckled giving Sakura her phone back and watching her pale in complexion, then only more so when the girls heard the ping of a response.

“So,” The bride-to-be finally spoke up. “What did he say?”

Nearly too shocked to respond, Ino looked over her shoulder and squealed before announcing.

“So our lovely Hanabi moved us with her elegant words of asking the very tasteful So what are you good at? And it looks like our little cherry blossom might have caught herself a billionaire.”

“Why?” Ten-Ten asked before Sakura took back her phone and shut it off.

“Because,” Ino continued. “He told forehead that he could schedule some time to show her later if she liked.”

Sakura shook her head from her blush and tried to calm herself from her memories of Gaara at the wedding. They were nearly inseparable then. He was always so smart, and so good with his words.

“Are you too warm Cherry Blossom?” Gaara added moving to turn up the air and finally turn on the radio, shifting the dial till some form of music could be heard.

“Maybe a bit, though I’m not exactly uncomfortable.” She whispered out looking at the road flying past them as Gaara sped them along the highway.

“So I still make you squirm is all. I know how to fix that.” He chuckled and Sakura involuntarily shuddered before responding.

“The wedding was a mistake. I don’t normally do things like that and I shouldn’t have gone as far with you that night.”

“Oh calm down cupcake I kept my pants on. You leading me on and then ghosting after just a kiss when you were acting like you wanted a lot more than that should make me a little antsy to be near you again not the other way around.” He scoffed moving to turn on their exit and get to the last leg of their journey.

It was the reception. The ceremony was lovely Gaara’s call had come through and it turns out Haku was someone Naruto had met a long time ago and had changed his life. The blonde idiot fully burst into tears at the sight of the delicate man softly singing as his bride came down the aisle. The pictures had all been taken the speeches given and now it was simply time for the party that they all knew Naruto could throw. Sakura was taking a well-deserved spot of air when she saw her best man on the balcony having a cigarette.

“You gave a wonderful speech. I think a couple of people cried, Iruka-sensei I know did.” She chuckled and he turned and smirked when he noticed it was her. Offering her a cigarette that she politely declined, he took a step to close the distance between them.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it Sakura, I’ve always had a knack for a good speech. Yours was pretty cute as well. I can tell Hinata really enjoyed it.”

Blushing slightly Sakura swirled the bit of champagne she had in her glass before asking, “How long are you in town for?”

“Couple days, then I have to head back.” Pausing when he saw her mood utterly deflate he moved to hold her chin. “But I can always make the most of my trip now.” He grinned and pulled her in for a breath-stealing kiss.

It made her weak at the knees. She felt dizzy. She felt like everything she had ever desired was in that kiss and so much more could be had, and it terrified Sakura. Pulling back she looked at him and quickly uttered out a soft. “I have to go.” Before disappearing from the venue.

It took a long time for Sakura to realize why she bolted when all her body was screaming at her to do was screw Gaara in his hotel room till the sun came up. He terrified her. Gaara had this type of undeniable power to him. He wasn’t overly tall. He was fit but no monster. He was beautiful but not in a way that was common and yet anytime Gaara spoke the entire room always gave him 100% of their attention. He was in control at all times and that was not something Sakura had any idea how to deal with. She was Sakura Haruno. She was a woman who always called the shots and she certainly was not one who knew how to deal with an alpha like Gaara; especially for a one night stand.

Not to mention that she had just had a rather ugly breakup with Sasuke Uchiha and was learning to be on her own; something that would have been ruined if it just looked like she fell into the closest thing available. So nothing about their current predicament made it seem like they should start a relationship and rather than deal with Gaara’s temptation of simply being there nor the teasing of her friends Sakura bolted and went back to the safety of her condo and her job.

She honestly thought she had gotten over her handsome wedding parter but the time apart clearly didn’t change the way her eyes still longed to undress him or the way she would follow the curve of his lips when he talked. How she could picture those hands of his wrapped around her body and how even going back to her deepest of crushes should she ever remember being remotely attracted to anyone else.

“We’re gonna be there soon.” Gaara murmured pulling her out of her thoughts and she took one last look at the curve of his jawline and how it tensed slightly as he turned before she moved to look at them entering the gates of the property.

Gaara parked briefly and before Sakura could react he had gotten out and moved to open the door for her. “One best friend of Naruto’s arrived safe and sound. Now I just need to collect my fee.” He smirked and Sakura scoffed and looked up at him.

“And what fee would that be?”

“I’ll take it in installments over the course of the weekend but I will go ahead and get my first payment before we spy the knucklehead.” He teased and pulled her up close to him. She could feel his chest pressed against hers. Smell that amazing cinnamon scent that only he had. Their lips were barely separated, their breath intertwined in a way that begged them to kiss.

She was shocked, she was aroused and she had just closed her eyes to let them have their second kiss when seemingly as soon as it started it was over and he pulled her away.

“What was that?” She asked slightly out of breath and angry at the overflow of emotions that were racing through her body.

“Evidence that you still want me so bad you can barely stand it.” Pulling her close to whisper in her ear and she actually did let out a soft moan as he whispered out.

“Our mutual friend has so kindly scheduled us some time together. I think this is the perfect opportunity for me to show you something I’m rather good at.” He grinned and pulled away grabbing both of their bags as they walked towards the entrance to the resort.

I really should have stayed at home. Sakura thought to herself as she walked behind Gaara and saw the genuine smile on his face as he greeted Naruto and she finally saw her best friend of over 20 years.

But it had been a while since I’ve had a vacation. Her mind rebutted. Maybe he is just an added part of the relaxation?

“Come on Sakura, Naruto says our rooms are right next to each other isn’t that convenient?” He added and resumed carrying both of their luggage.

Or maybe this weekend will be the most tiring vacation I have ever had.