#and i would go absolutely feral

[anartisticalniche]

okay but imagine if the SMG4 Crew ep on the 14th of February is gonna be something like-

"Mario plays matchmaker on Valentines Day" and you get a thumbnail with Mario dragging Three and Four on a blind date lol

[4sh-n4]

AU where bruce and co. (his entire hoarde of kids, even jason in disguise) are at a gala. And it's a really big gala, party of the year type of thing in Gotham, absolutely unmissable. And usually, even the rogues know that this night is off limits, so it's relatively safe. So, they're all at this gala, right?

And then the joker crashes it because he has no respect for Gotham traditions. Breaks in through a window, yada yada. He starts to go on this whole villain speech as per usual, and everyone is waiting for the heroes to come. But all the heroes are at the gala, in their civilian identities, with a thousand eyes on them. No one can reasonably slip away, except for maybe jason, who's already seething mad and ready to attack. But with the chaos and people trying to get away, all the exits are blocked, and his helmet is at home.

Bruce is at the front of the crowd, facing the Joker. Joker sees him and makes a comment about Jason, and goes on about how Bruce must've felt when his baby died. And then he brings up how he killed the little birdie too, just a few days before the terrorist attacks that allegedly killed Jason. And he mentions how much he tortured Robin before his death, and Bruce snaps.

He leaps forward, absolutely hammering the shit out of the joker. Beats him up so bad, no finesse or technique to it, just pure rage. His kids try to pull him off, to no avail. No one else even tries. By the end of it, by the time the police arrive, the joker is more blood than body, and Bruce has finally calmed down. Everyone is just staring at him in shock, understandably. (The joker ends up in hospital, paralysed and in a coma)

His kids all drag Bruce home and give him an entire lecture about his persona and how his cover has probably been blown. About excessive violence and how he refused to kill joker but then pulled this in public?? They're all worried about the fallout in the news the next day.

No one sleeps that night, for various reasons, but then when the newspaper comes out the next morning... there's just nothing bad written?? The headline is something about Bruce being a hero for saving everyone from the joker, but there's no other mention about Batman or anything else.

Turns out, no one in Gotham is surprised that Brucie Wayne, no 1 airhead, beat up the joker because "did you SEE him as a teenager?? We were all just glad when he came from his travels pretending to be stupid instead of picking fights with everyone. If anything, it's understandable that he snapped, I would too if a clown started bragging about killing my son." The only reason no one brought up his violent past is because they were worried he would revert back to that behaviour.

[lolhex12]

broke: Jeremy is captain sunshine golden retriever boy who hides his feelings and his fucked up family situation

woke: actually🤓☝️ Jeremy first met Andrew in juvie when they were 15 & 13 respectively

[eriochromatic]

We never played bitey?

tomshiv stocks r rising yall!!!!!!!!

[polin-erospsyche]

Looking at her I feel like I understand Colin on such a deep level because yes me too dude. If I saw her looking this good I would loose all my calm, confident composure, would flip around my fake personality so fast, would attempt to outrun a horse, would beg to be let in and to know if she had been proposed to, would consider throwing myself in the Thames for the 0.2 sec I believed to have been friend zoned, would need all of 5 sec to decide that she is the face I want to wake up to every morning for the rest of my life after nearly giving her her first orgasm (she did not finish in that carriage and that’s why he was desperate for more time) and would skip on my way to announce the engagement to absolutely everyone and anyone

Just saying this is the face of woman who wars would have been fought over for

[wikitpowers]

kit having a courage in combat rune on his chest while he lays in bed (?) with ty makes me certain that we’ll get them both in a battle before this scene

(and it will be so mf cool i can feel it in my kneecaps)

[xxjustshakeitupxx]

While I agree with loving the thought of Husk standing up to Valentino and beating the shit out of him for what he's done to Angel, can we have Husk standing up to Valentino and then cheering on Angel while Angel is beating the shit out of Valentino?

[shirajellyfish]

Expectation vs reality

You are a new employee at the Pizzaplex. According to the job description, you basically just have to monitor the daycare animatronic for malfunctions and that's it. Maybe occasionally do the odd thing the animatronic can't, like confiscating any weapons (and by 'weapons' it's clear they mean things like fake toy guns, maybe a pocketknife), but other than that it seems like you're just going to be sitting there while getting paid a suspiciously high amount. This is going to be great.

You go through the training videos and marvel at the capabilities of this animatronic. The way it's able to perfectly blend genuine love for the children with untiring robotic perfection. The energetic Sun mode, the calming Moon mode, the endless amount of situations they can handle with ease. Everything a team of childcare professionals could dream of knowing is all programmed in. This animatronic is a work of art, and overseeing it… no, working with him is going to be an honor.

It's your first day on the job after training completes. You open the door and hear SCREAMING SO MUCH SCREAMING

The children are yelling and screaming as they run around like feral animals. A little girl screams as another child pulls her hair. Two ten year olds are screaming about if Charizard could win a fight against Goku. And Sun, Sun is screaming. He's covered in paint and dirt and greasy handprints. Two children are pouring glitter glue directly onto him while three more hold his arms down, clinging with a frightening tenacity. The Sun, he screams.

You rush over and shoo the children away. Sun immediately lunges at you, gripping your shoulders.

"LIGHTS ON. LIGHTS. ON!!"

"Wha-"

"KEEP THE LIGHTS ON, NEWBIE, OR EVERYONE IN THIS ROOM WILL DIE."

"What??"

"EVERYONE. ABSOLUTELY EVERYONE HERE. WILL DIE. KEEP THE LIGHTS ON. ON."

Sun then skips away in a jarringly merry fashion. He ignores the complete disaster state the play area is in, as well as the still wet glue covering him from head to toe, in favor of re-stacking a pile of toy noisemakers. Every time he finishes stacking them, a giggling toddler knocks the whole thing over again. Sun begins stacking again in an infinite loop.

The hourly pay makes sense now.

[dnd-shows-have-my-soul]

Brennan, suddenly panicked at the thought of consequences: Is this trap set by Sam Reich?

[ryoli]

hypnos 😳

[just-teal]

I’m feeling so normal about this photo

[homerjacksons]

RIPPER STREET S02E04

[hatsunevitu]

for some reason i enjoy so much the idea of kyle actually genuinely liking cartman’s appearance. like, he would never admit it – especially to cartman – but somehow eric really is a perfect match for kyle’s preferences.

therefore he can’t possibly stand the idea of cartman changing his appearance to become more “beautiful” in other people’s opinions, because kyle likes him the way he already is — and kyle already is sure cartman is beautiful.

so eeeevery time cartman has even a tiniest thought of losing weight, kyle makes sure he will change his mind.

cartman: I don’t know, man, maybe I really should lose weight… I mean, I’m hot as hell right now, but imagine all those girls who will go completely insane when they see me all skinny and sexy?

kyle: Gross. I don’t want to even think about it.

cartman: Are you jealous, Kyle? Or are you just envious ‘cuz I get more females’ attention being big-boned than you do with your thin ass?

kyle: Don’t you flatter yourself, Fatass. When was the last time a girl looked at you without a terror on her face?

cartman: Oh, shut up, Jew! You’re just afraid you’ll look even uglier next to me.

kyle: So you’re going on a diet, right?

cartman: Right!

kyle: Okay, good luck with this. …Oh, wait, isn’t this a KFC restaurant right there? And, wow, look: I have fifteen bucks right here! Damn, that’s just perfect for a double portion of chicken...

cartman: No… you sneaky little…

kyle: Huh? What’re you saying? I didn’t quite catch it. Do you wanna join me, Cartman?

cartman: …I hate you so much, Kyle. You’re going to burn in hell for forever. More than that: I will turn your life to hell myself–

kyle: So you’re going or not?

cartman: …Yes.

ALSO yes he’d support cartman’s decision to lose weight for himself but he just hates the idea of cartman changing his body just for social standards. and i just want at least one person to completely adore cartman’s looks and compliment him and i think kyle’d be the one to do so. once he get over his embarrassment, he’ll start telling nice things to cartman once in a while and cartman who is absolutely not used to genuine praise will be so. fucking. happy. every time.

[evilkaeya]

As much as I want them to be safe in 108, I kinda wanna see Chuuya lose his shit after coming to his senses and seeing Dazai's lifeless body

[tcfactory]

tlj writes 1000 words of poetry that could be summerised in "lemme smash" but sqq doesnt know about poetry details yet so it doesnt click. it takes him asking his damn shizun what this word is supposed to mean for him to find out some shit like "should the sweet juice that drips find its way to my lips, one would treat it as the finest ambrosia" means "pLEASE lemme succ". haunting. devistating. but also hold on hes been writing like this forever and hes made no physical passes what. huh.

Oh god. I can see this go two ways, depending on how good/close SQQ's relationship is with his master.

If they have a good relationship, then SQQ's shizun would be all up in arms because who dares write this kind of filth to his little cabbage?! All right, A-Jiu, which rich noble wastrel is this shameless about trying to seduce a head disciple from one of the great sects?

Alternatively: SQQ is trying to prove that he's Competent to his shizun so he can't go to him with questions like that, no sir. But they teach some poetry and stuff on Qiong Ding too - not how to write it, but just enough about analyzing/understanding it to appear cultured and smart in high company, you know? So SQQ grits his teeth and goes to YQY for advice which is only slightly better (don't you dare think this means that he forgave you!! You are still in the dog house, Qi-ge!!!!) but at least it's less humiliating that having to involve his shizun.

So uuuuuh. Yeah. SQQ and YQY sort of reconcile over the horrifying realization that TLJ wrote him a whole book's worth of erotic poems. Either YQY gets super jealous over this (in which case SQQ has great fun playing off his two 'suitors' against each other until he decides that you know what? he has two hands and he worked so hard, he deserves to have two boyfriends) or YQY goes into protective big brother mode and makes a solid attempt at bullying TLJ to see how serious he is about courting SQQ (very serious. if this whole peak lord thing doesn't work out, SQQ has a very stable job opportunity waiting for him as empress of the demon realm.)

Either way it would probably end in "let's save TLJ from HHP's bullshit so he can marry SQQ right and proper" shenanigans.

[furrysmp]

... Ok so. In my post I made like 10 minutes ago about Jimmy not dying first I also had, in the notes, the words "and now he's gonna die immediately" and uh. Yeah. I almost punched the concrete wall I'm leaning on over this session. How yall doing?