#and i'd also like to fuck a hot demon who wouldn't

[allyricas]

fun couple's idea for a halloween costume

sexy demon (shirtless with harness wings/horns/sexy mask) and his 'virgin' sacrifice (sexy white nightie mildly inspired victorian nightgowns/sheer thigh highs with a garter/sexy heels) rope around the wrists included.

it'd be so hot, no one would expect it and yes, i am absolutely imagining steve as the demon and eddie as the virgin sacrifice. it would totally fuck with everyone's perception of them both and it'd be fun for them to play.

imagine steve with eddie thrown over his shoulder, walking around a costume party and eddie's all 'oh please don't sacrifice me in a evil, sexy ritual, please..no...oh god.'

[tojirights]

Prompt “❛ i love that no one else has seen you like this, that no one else has felt you before, been inside you. they don't get to have you, but i do. ❜” with alastor :3

Likke reader has been with multiple people but alastor is the first person to make her cum 0.0

prompt: Hii I really like your work! Can you do face sitting with alastor like reader mentions that she wants to sit on alastor face to angel and alastor overhears or angels says outlook to husk while his wasted thank youu

a/n: combining these two prompts!! ^ thinking maybe alastor overhears you talking with angel about your woes and offers to uhhh assist 👀

"the guys down here suck, angel." you sigh, sitting next to angel in the hotel lounge. you crack open your beer and hand him one as well. "yer tellin' me, babe." he chuckles. "whats got ya worked up this tIme?" he hums, reaching an arm around your shoulders. "thats the thing! nothing!" you groan, leaning into his body. "you know how many times i've tried hooking up with someone just for them to bust in 30 seconds and rub my inner thigh?" angel almost chokes on his drink.

"they're the worst. no one down here has been able to make me cum but myself." you mutter, taking a sip of your drink. "who do you want, hm?" angel asks. "maybe i can hook ya up with someone good." he wiggles his eyebrows, earning a giggle from you. the alcohol is making you feel a little brave, so with a sigh, you let your words free. "y'know who i think about all the time?" angel's eyes widen with interest, anticipation building.

"alastor..." you admit for the first time out loud. angel does choke on his drink this time before he laughs. "bitch! the radio demon?!" he barely contains his cackle. "stop! i mean, have you seen him? god, angel. i'd get down on my knees and bark if he told me to. i wanna sit on his face, hold onto his antlers for support. ughh, he's so hot." you whine into angel's chest, embarrasmemt finally setting in. angel tries to contain himself, but you've never said something so out of pocket but also very relatable.

unbeknownst to you, alastor stands not far behind you, his ears twitching as he listens in. a part of him does feel a tinge of guilt for listening, but you'd be quieter if you didn't want anyone to hear you. "well now, isn't that interesting?" alastor's voice makes you jump, almost tossing your beer straight onto angel. "oh fuck..." angel all but pushes you over in an attempt to get away.

"oh my god. alastor i'm so sorry, i was just-" you scramble to defend yourself, but alastor puts his staff under your chin to raise your eyes to his. "what was that you said about wanting to... sit on my face? about these worthless little demons not knowing how to treat a woman?" the sultry tone in his voice has you clenching your thighs together, which you blame on the alcohol swirling in your gut. you laugh awkwardly, trying to brush this off as alastor teasing you but there's a look in his eyes that tells you he's dead serious. "it's nothing! just venting some frustrations, that's all."

your eyes are a dead giveaway, desire flooding them as you peer up at alastor. "why don't you accompany me to my room for the evening, darling? we wouldn't want these inexperienced fools to try and make a move now, would we?" he extends his hand, and you decide to throw caution to the wind. standing, you let him pull you close. "blow my mind, radio boy." you whisper, watching alastor's eyes darken and his smirk grow. alastor uses the shadows, leading you straight to his room in a mere moment.

your heart rate sky rockets, realization hitting your gut as you start to strip. "how long has it been?" he asks, picking you up with ease and carrying you to the bed. "w-what?" you hesistate, watching as alastor ushers you to climb on top of him. "since someone else made you cum?" you swallow, straddling his chest. "i don't even remember al..." alastor's hands come around to grip your ass and pull you forward. with a gasp, you brace yourself on the headboard and then the feeling of alastor's tongue immediately has your brain turning to mush.

it's dizzying, the slide of his tongue up and down your slit was already far better than anything you've experienced in such a long time. "o-oh fuck." your body shudders, barely being able to hold still. alastor's tongue dips passed your entrance, lapping up your juices like a man starving. you already feel that familiar coil in your stomach forming, threatening to snap all over alastor's face. "that's, oh god alastor, that's so good." you moan, gripping tighter on the headboard as your hips start to stutter on their own.

then, you feel alastor's hands on your ass start to push and pull you, forcing your cunt to slide over his tongue. "y-you, i'm gonna-" you can't even think straight, pleasure blinding you to anything else happening in the entire world. alastor hums against your clit, sucking the sensitive bud into his mouth and that's it, you're cumming hard enough that your vision goes dark and tears well in your eyes.

you're shaking, barely being able to breathe as alastor's tongue runs lazy circles over your still sensitive clit to ride out your orgasm. before you're fully recovered, alastor quickly flips you onto your back and his fingers find your puffy pussy. "you have no idea the honor it is to be the only one to see you like this, my dear. the only one to feel you-" he pauses, pushing two fingers inside your needy cunt so he can hear your sweet moans. "cum. and i will be the only one to continue feeling that. you will cum on my face, my fingers, my cock... anything you please."

the desire burning in your core strengthens once more. not even your own fingers have ever made you cum twice, but alastor is about to pull a second orgasm from you almost completely back to back. "make me cum again." you whine, hips arching further off the bed as his fingers pump in and out slowly. "on your cock, fuck, please fuck me alastor."

alastor chuckles, his free hand unbottoning the front of his pants just enough to free his cock. "how could i deny such a good girl? cum on my cock, my princess." in an instant, alastor's fingers are replaced by the thickness of his cock. the first thrust alone has you teetering on the edge, while his thumb rubs tight circles on your clit.

your pussy clenches around his girth, pulsing with every sweep of his finger. each thrust of his hips pushes you closer to the edge, his cock filling you like no one else could ever. "y-you, gonna cum again." you cry out, spasms wrecking your body as your second orgasm hits even more intense with the feeling of his thick cock stretching your pussy.

alastlor groans, pumping his cock deeper, deeper until he's cumming as well. "such a good girl." he grunts, pushing each thick rope of cum further inside. "you won't ever have to worry about not being taken care of, my dear." he assures, pulling out slowly even as your cunt tries to squeeze him in. "there's plenty more where that came from, rest your pretty little eyes." he coos, pulling a blanket on your tired body.

you just know this is going to be the best sleep pf your fucking life...

[werecreature-addicted]

Hi. I’d like to make a confession. I want a demon boyfriend who bounces me on his cock while I grip his horns for leverage. When he cums, it’s hot and tingly, like a shot of whiskey on a cold day. Then we snuggle as he holds me in his arms with his wings closed around us and his tail wrapped securely around my leg. Alright. I’m going to go sign up for electroshock therapy. Y’all take care now. Love the blog. ✌️

I love the idea of demons having sensitive horns, especially around the base. so when you hold onto his horns it just drives him WILD and he just can't help but fuck up into you harder-which makes you grip his horns tighter- which makes him fuck you harder. it's such a vicious cycle.

I'm also a big fan of demons with glowing cocks/cum. Like UGHHHH a glowing stomach bulge is so fucking hot to me. its never been so easy to watch your lover rearrange your guts! or like with the cum Imagine your demon forcing you to look at him fucking you, watch as his cock goes in and out and in and out then he gives one final sharp trust and suddenly there's something lighting you up from the inside.

and yes of course his cum isn't just warm. it's hot, everything about him is hot. his skin, his breath, his growls, and it's perfect to keep you nice and toasty if your heat ever gives out. Imagine your demon boyfriend jerking off and cumming on a rag then he makes you hump it. even with his cum cooling down it's still warm, and wet and ugh it feels good pressing it between your legs and just the idea of humping his cum rag is so fucking dirty- you're a MESS. also side note but demons cum buckets. I don't make the rules.

as for tails... as much fun as it is to have him fucking you with it I'd like to propose- Demon boyfriend using his tail as a gag. like he's fucking you from behind and his long tail swings around to slip into your mouth, choking you a little bit on the flared head but successfully muffling your moans. just be careful with your teeth. you wouldn't want to get punished, would you? you wouldn't want him to take his tail out of your mouth and use it more like a whip... would you?

and I know demons are usually portrayed with bat wings but I just love feathery angel wings too much. your demon boyfriend leaves feathers every fucking where. as a subtle way to mark your home as his territory. he will also make you wear some of his black feathers in a necklace. Because you're being a bitch and won't let him carve demonic runes in your skin to mark you as his- so the feather will have to do... for now.

anyways we should see if there's a two-for-one deal on electro-shock therapy.

[callofdudes]

He's been on my mind ❤️ just some little ideas for Rodolfo (Alejandro gets thrown in too let's be honest.)

I love the headcanon I have for Rodolfo (other people also might think this I'm not sure.) But he's small and quiet and doesn't do a lot to make himself known. Personally, Alejandro and him are a fucking UNIT on the field. In any sense.

But my all time headcanon for Rodolfo is when he gets pissed, he gets downright demonic. Like this little man is so calm but if you hurt Alejandro or someone very close to him everyone is going to be questioning what possessed him.

I think if would be funny if instead of going into hiding, when Rudy heard Alejandro was kidnapped he just went off. Screaming Graves out in Spanish from the safehouse. He'd throw things and get absolutely pissed off.

And I know he's more passive aggressive too. Like of they're in a bar and someone is hitting on Alejandro he'd just casually lean over like, "I know you think you're doing good. But you should probably stop." And said other person is all chill because who the fuck is this tiny little thing? "It's ok, I'm not afraid of him."

Alejandro's just chuckling like, "I'm not the one threatening you hermano." (Saw the dialogue on another post and thought it fit them.)

Rodolfo is a family man 100%. He cooks for guests and although Alejandro can also cook he'd much rather kick him out to hang with his friends.

Being a family man, like I said, if you touch, threaten or do anything in-between to his family (close friends, Alejandro etc.) He'll rip your spine out before you know what's happening.

As the smallest of their group he can 100% sneak up on you. Alejandro is much bigger so when they go on covert missions Rodolfo is the ideal man for the job. And just because he's small and a bit shy doesn't me he can't rip you a new one. (Look at König, he's got more height but is also very shy and just as brutal.)

I wouldn't call if social anxiety, but he's very shy and when Alejandro teases him in public, Spanish or not, he gets flustered. He won't admit that sometimes he likes it though. Getting pushed against the wall and whispered things whole their friends are right there on the other side. It scares him right into submission which excites both him and Alejandro.

Can dance.

If you manage to see him dance or he opens up and dances around you he will refuse to elaborate why he can dance.

Designated driver most of the time. But there was one time Price offered to drive to let Rodolfo get shit-faced drunk. At this point he just started throwing it down on the dancefloor with Alejandro. He will dance anything I'd he's drunk.

I just want to see art or writing about Alejandro and Rudy dancing. (Slow, fast, sex- I don't care)

Anyway.

I think that after Rodolfo gets to know Ghost they actually become friends. Ghost is stoic and a bit scary even still to Rodolfo, but he's seen the man under the mask and gotten to know him enough to not shiver in his boots. And I think Ghost finds Rudy's soft-spoken personality a nice break from Johnny.

Alejandro is a simp.

This isn't about him but I can see Rodolfo coming back from an undercover mission with blood all over him and callouses from crawling in the dirt of something. Alejandro wants to make sure he's ok but he also thinks it's SO HOT.

Unlike probably some of the recruits back at the main base for 141 Los Vaqueros don't try to piss the colonel or his sergeant off. They have a very high respect for both and I can only see a few newbies trying anything beyond typical Mexican humor.

If you've played the game, there is this one move where if a person from the opposing team is laying down, you can get behind them and sneak your hands around their throat. You then proceed to jerk your knife back into the jugular. Yeah.

Rodolfo is more about stealth I feel. Although he can go loud, it's much easier for him to focus taking out targets one by one rather than frantically shooting bullets everywhere.

Rodolfo observes everything, therefore has more intel on Alejandro, his team and everyone else combined. He will use this to his advantage in small ways. If he notices Alejandro gets "excited" about a certain thing he does he will make a point to do it more often. Subtly though.

Absolutely will not big spoon. You either hold him close like he's you're whole world or you get the couch. Alejandro thankfully has not had the displeasure of having this interaction.

Both Rudy and Alejandro run warm so they often end up sleeping with whatever little clothing they can. In the winter they bundle up like two peas of the same pod.

Alejandro can handle more alcohol than could kill a man. Rudy gets maybe seven drinks in before he can't figure out what's the ceiling and the floor.

Dutch blitz. He will win.

Unlike with Ghost, Rodolfo gets used to being around Johnny easily. He's like a happier version of Alejandro. So Johnny is a bit more tolerant.

I don't know if he was an only child or not but I'd like to think he was in charge of a lot of stuff in his house, (fucked up or not) so stuff like piling paperwork barely bothers him.

Can sit still for hours. Might need something like a pen to bounce between his fingers though. If it's a meeting he will not move until if is over.

Well, that's all I have for now. But this was me feeding myself more Rodolfo. He's been on my mind and while I like shy Rodolfo I can't help but want more badassery out of this boy. If Alejandro got kidnapped and Rudy lost his cool and started out on a killing spree of Graves' men I would have taken that too.

[staticofthetv]

I did it for Knives, now its his brobro's turn.

Edit: I'd like to apologize for what comes next as I wrote it in one go while hyperactive

Vash's design in tristamp is just as interesting to me as hundred spoons is for very similar but not quite the same reasons. Part of it is still the subverting expectations by having the arguably more angelic character have a darker colour scheme and look like something you wouldn't want to come across at any time of day. With both twins their looks very much align with how they view themselves, knives is pure and angelic and vash is dirty and demonic by comparison.

While it's not a traditional demon look I'd still argue that vash does look it. The most obvious is his iconic red coat, but also consider the massive form he becomes when knives fucks with his head. Yeah it's hauntingly beautiful, especially when you see it from our perspective as the audience but when you look at it from the perspective of the regular people on gunsmoke, that thing growing out of July would absolutely be demonic. It's dark in colour, it's sprouting random flowers (this is important), and most importantly its tearing the city apart.

Focusing on the actions during the fight first, I think it would make sense for the people witnessing it to think Vash is the demon and Knives is the angel trying to save the city. Partly because of Vash being blamed for everything Knives has done already painting him as the bad guy no matter what's actually happening and also the widespread broadcasting of the eye of michael teachings.

Moving onto the flowers and why I think they qualify as demonic. One of the most popular things in modern media that have Lucifer, satan, whatever you wanna call him in it he's the perfect picture of hotness. Everyone wants to be him or be with him, and this makes sense for his purpose in life! He's supposed to tempt people into sin so him having an ass so hot he could tempt even the most devout does hold ground in a portrayal. This fake beauty to hide the hell lying in wait I think is how the people on gunsmoke saw Vash. Even from the audience perspective tree Vash is still kind of a perversion of the classic angelic beauty but for a different reason. Vash is being torn apart mentally in that scene, the amount of anguish is unimaginable. Angels aren't supposed to feel pain like this, they don't get affected by the actions of others. In response his gate basically goes into overdrive to try and protect him but (and this is kinda theory kinda not) Vash's gate isn't like the typical plant gate. The pain he's experiencing isn't angelic and so the physical results of it look like a distorted imitation attempt.

Even then going with the classic version of the devil in media, who in the nicest way possible usually looks like he belongs under a bridge trying to trick children into crossing so he can eat them, I still think fits vash. Having him look so human, especially when put next to Knives, gives off the feeling of ugliness. I'm not saying he actually is, he's very much a pretty plant, BUT it's exactly like comparing a human to an angel. Plus if we look at his scars the feeling of him being less than builds up more. Again I'm not saying scars are ugly, this is an analysis of religious imagery and how I think it lines up with what's written in the Bible as a loser with baptist religious trauma and my own scars to show for it, I just wanna make that clear. The physical appearance of Vash, when compared to Knives at the end of the series very much gives the devil standing next to an angel and it ties into how each twin views themselves once again. Vash's self esteem is already so low it's in hell, he doesn't see himself as beautiful, pure, angelic, whatever. This is reflected in his appearance, he makes an effort to look human and fit in with others because the he sees himself as no better than the worst of them. Meanwhile Knives is touting about with as much angelic energy as his murderous little soul can muster because that's exactly what he thinks he is. An angel, or God himself, with a holy mission of creating a new garden of eden for plants.

Based on what we see during Vash and Knives confrontation when Vash loses his arm and also the plant lore that was revealed recently, Vash has a gate that takes. I don't know if this can be considered theory because Vash's gate has acted like a blackhole multiple times. This ties into my thoughts on the coat and glasses changing colours after he returns from being trapped while still relating to the main point of Vash having demonic energy, I promise.

In the plant lore 1/3 its stated that the power that takes away was sealed away for reasons. Presumably it hasn't been seen in long enough that even the people aboard the SEEDS ship didn't know much about it or don't have any experience with this power. Knives very clearly lines up with the power that brings in his motivations and manifestation of his gate. He's bringing material into the world, he's bringing the planet to a new age, he's bringing the plants to Eden. Vash however is the other side of that coin, the power that takes away. Based on the name alone this power would be considered demonic. Add in the fact that it quite literally manifests as a blackhole and it's very clearly not an angelic power. Vash has stated himself he can't bring anything into the world, only take from it in the form of needing to consume resources to survive. And when under severe emotional distress the distorted imitation of angelic power, also known as demonic power because that's exactly what demonic power is, comes out as a form of instinctual self protection.

It's now late enough and this post is long enough that I'm not sure it makes sense anymore, enjoy fellow tumblr people.

[illarian-rambling]

Thanks for the tag @theink-stainedfolk!

OC Questionaire

My questions:

What is one thing from your past that you wish you could change, and why?

If you could master any skill instantly, what would it be and how would you use it?

Who is the most important person in your life, and what have they taught you?

Random number generator thinks Izjik should answer these!

1) What is one thing from your past that you wish you could change, and why?

"Fuck, that's a tough question if I think about it. My first instinct is to wish I wasn't born as End-Made-Flesh. That damn starry demon has caused me a lot of fucking grief. But, if I hadn't killed that spirit, I never would've been sent to the Trench, and I never would've met Sepo, never would've met Twenari or Djek, never would've seen all the amazing things the world holds. I guess... I wish I could've changed what happened at the All-Temple. I can still taste the gore in my mouth some nights."

2) If you could master any skill instantly, what would it be and how would you use it?

"Hm, I'm not sure. I really don't give a fuck about learning to read or write, and cooking's for blunt-toothed humans. I guess I'd like to learn to sing. I'm super tone deaf, but if I wasn't, I could help Sepo with his music!"

3) Who is the most important person in your life, and what have they taught you?

"I don't have one most important person - I have three. Sepo’s my oldest friend, my brother in all but blood. He taught me how to survive in the darkest depth of the ocean, how to relate to people different from me, and how to look before I leap. He also taught me patience. Take that how you will. Twenari is... You don't really have a word for it in this language, but she's like one of the enclave kids. I take care of her. She taught me to take joy in discovery and to be curious about the world. Djek is a bit of a lost lad sometimes, but I know he's got the making of a great man. He taught me to think outside the box and how to wield a smile like a shield or a knife. I wouldn't be half the person I am today if it weren't for him. For any of them."

I'll tag @kaylinalexanderbooks @spideronthesun @saintarthur01 @roach-pizza and anyone else who wants to join :)

Your questions:

What is one job you'd never take, no matter how good the pay is?

Did you have a favorite childhood toy?

Would you rather be too hot or too cold?

[mermaidsirennikita]

Contemporaries where dirty talk is especially hot? Both during sex and maybe also over text? Thank you!!

Sierra Simone, Sierra Simone, Sierra Simone. Her books are often set in a contemporary world, but they're not, as a heads up, "light" contemporaries. Personally, I wouldn't really go as far as to call them dark romance (well. Thornchapel, I would, but I also wouldn't recommend it as a contemporary as it has such strong supernatural elements lol) but they do have some elements of (light) mysticism as some of them are retellings of old myth set in a modern setting. I'd check out:

Priest, Sinner, Saint/"The Bell Brothers": These are three standalones (M/F, M/F, and M/M) that always have a bit of a religion kink. And a by a bit, I mean a lot. Priest is the book where a Catholic priest (who is actually very naturally carnal and only became a priest because of some deep guilt issues and religiosity) meets a woman who tells him ALL the shit she's done in confession. It's naturally dirty, and he naturally falls head over heels into an affair. Sinner is about a business whose best friend's little sister is about to become a nun, and she (on the advice of her convent, naturally) asks him to teach her about sex so she can experience what she'll miss before she really commits. Saint is about a guy who became a monk in a period of deep emotional crisis, whose ex-boyfriend (he left with zero notice) ends up on a tour of monasteries with him for an article he's writing. Temptation ensues.

The dirty talk in these is naturally very tinged with priest/nun kink stuff, it's SUPER dirty, and I love it. They're also just really good.

Her Christmas Notch books she does with Julie Murphy are a little tamer, both focus on this Hallmark-esque company where the leads film these Christmas movies and, of course, fall in love. I really, really love A Holly Jolly Ever After, because the hero is a former boybander (with a dad bod!) who fucks like a demon and also owns a chain of pizza shops, and his sex tape leaks, during which he's pictured absolutely RAILING a woman from behind, slapping her ass, and saying "and THAT'S how you toss the dough" which I personally think is some of the greatest dirty talk I've ever read.

New Camelot: One of my favorite trilogies of all time, MMF, "what if King Arthur was President, Guinevere was First Lady, and Lancelot was VP, and what if they were all in love with each other and entangled in an intense affair and IT WAS AMAZING". I reread scenes regularly. I love it so much. The dirty talk is obscene. You get the very cool "sit, stay, bark" dom dirty talk from one hero and the deranged "I'm going through it and you're going to go through it with me" passionate dirty talk from the other. Our heroine ain't half bad at it either.

Lyonesse Trilogy: The prequel novella and the first book are out now; it's a Tristan/Isolde/Mark MMF retelling. Mark is perhaps like... the dirtiest dirty talker Sierra has written. He's soooooo much. Like, if you want the condescending dom dirty talking hero, he's The One. The alternating between the "look how good you take it" stuff and "you're so desperate it's pathetic" shit. Why not both???

Act Your Age by Eve Dangerfield has a TON of dirty talk, usually in the DD/lg vein. The hero and heroine roleplay dirty stepdad fantasies a lot, and the way they talk to each other is OBSCENE lol. And I love it.

Minx by Sophie Lark has some amazing dirty talk in the pet play realm. The heroine is an escort paid by the hero, and he has her dress up in a catsuit, wear a caller, drink milk out of a bowl while he calls her Minxie and a good girl and shit lol. I was into it. Idk if you'll be into it. Iiiii was into it.

Sara Cate's Salacious Player Club books have good dirty talk. They're sex club books that kind of deconstruct a different kink in each book (pleasure dom/sub in the first one, voyeurism in the second, MMF/bi awakening in the third, and femdom in the fourth... I'd stop after the fourth) and naturally are filled with dirty talk. Eyes On Me (the second book) may especially work for you because the heroine is a cam girl.

Possession by Adriana Anders has a heroine in a PR marriage with her famous husband end up in a kink camp with him after a scandal, and they... explore a lot. Including consensual kidnapping, an MFM threesome, lots of dirty talk... It's a lot.

Preferential Treatment by Heather Guerre has a heroine who becomes her billionaire boss's domme, so naturally there is a LOT of femdom dirty talk. We LOVE to see it.

Heated Rivalry & The Long Game by Rachel Reid make up a duology of hockey romances about the same couple (m/m). What I like about this is that you follow the same couple over like, a decade, starting when they're like 18/19, and they build up...? Their dirty talk? Like in the beginning, their encounters are more awkward, and then by the end they're using sex toys and like mild bondage and really KNOW each other and what turns each other on. Including the talk.

[pluviisopibus]

Ask meme based on quotes from "That Time I Got Drunk and Saved a Demon" by Kimberly Lemming.

Some are funny, some are sweet, some a little bit suggestive! They've been edited to work in the ask meme format.

I only have two things on my mind; cheese and how to get home.

Every scratch, every bruise, I will pay back in fire and blood.

That is so sweet but so unnecessary.

Oh, the troubles I go through for my wife/husband/spouse.

We don't need to have a ceremony or register with the church?

Darling, we burned down the church.

You don't remember?

Last night, you demanded we bring you cheese and then stated that you were the cheese queen/king/monarch.

[NAME], I can barely breathe when you are not near.

If anything were to happen to you...

If you left me to be alone again, these memories of you would kill me.

Hold on, did you just pull an entire bottle of liquor out of your pocket?

Who wouldn't want to go off on a grand adventure with a bunch of hot heroes also chosen by the goddess?

Me, bitches. No, thank you.

My love, I'd sooner kill everyone here to save you the embarrassment.

I could die from this.

They'll have to write "fucked into oblivion" on my tombstone.

Glory, glory, what a hell of a way to die.

You can talk? And not just basic words, either. Like, rational spoken words?

I tend to save my mindless screaming for Tuesdays.

A fucking demon attacked me last night and the day had the audacity to shine as if nothing happened? Rude.

Know this, little rabbit: I make good on my threats, but I make good on my promises, too.

Intruders will catch these flames.

Who needs him/her/them? Or any man/woman/person!

Love is for people with not enough wine in their hands!

My trusted nose locked on to the smell of aged cheddar and the race is on!

Oh, my sweet, I wish you hadn't done that.

I'm going to make you my wife/husband/spouse when this is all over.

I mean, not what I would say to the person who just beat your friend with your other friend.

Live your best life, I guess.

You're just doing this for the giggles!

Are you that bored?

Go to the festival and get drunk like a normal person!

I'm damn near foaming at the mouth and you're acting like we're discussing Sunday brunch!

Honestly, I think you two need to bone.

Someone should put a warning sign on you- Abs for days.

Unfortunately for you, I am a little petty.

I am a strong, independent adult. I am absolutely not turned on by that!

That's fine, I guess. If you like people who keep their shirts on.

You may call me a demon, but you're the cruel party here.

Maybe you're not a straight villain. Maybe just villain-adjacent.

I can work with that.

Well, we just started our new lives as pirates.

You were just told we killed a goddess and that's what you grab on to?

The best solution is to do what any grown adult should do in their time of need: Run home to mommy and daddy.

I'm going to ruin you, little rabbit.

Contrary to what you might have been told, the sight of a quivering, crying person does nothing for my arousal.

Fuck it. Piracy.

Does this mean you've agreed to be my wife/husband/spouse?

No, you're still a rapscallion.

We have haunted the dreams of men since the time of the ancients.

The grandchildren of those who hurt me will weep at the sound of my name after I throw them in the pyre of my hatred and dance in the rain of their ashes.

[arthurlightstar]

OKAY ARTHUR PLAYLIST MASTER POST -> Thoughts below the cut. More thoughts incoming since I can't put all of the audio links in 1 post <3

1. Flowers Never Bend with the Rainfall, Simon & Garfunkel

Favorite Lyrics: UMMM like all of them 10/10 every lyric perfect. great lyrics for my delusional king

Why this song's on here: Good summary of how he feels about himself, his life philosophy, and how he thinks he can protect himself with lies. The vibes are just really good too

2. Animal Skin, Bryan Dunn

Favorite Lyrics: (You've gone total primitive / instinct just the will to live) & (But you never look better / then when you wear your animal skin) & (you were being kicked about / backed up, teeth and claws are out)

Why it's on here: I just think this is a generally good durge-identity issues song. It's very slayer coded too. Also the willing-to-do-whatever-is-necessary-to-survive vibe this song has.

3. Little Lies, Fleetwood Mac

Favorite Lyrics: (Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies)

Why it's on here: Because if I interpert this song as Arthur talking to Cyric it's a really really really good song for how he feels about his religion. He prays to a god and a religion who he asks to lie to him and to help him lie. It's his Cyric ballad!!!

4. The Littlest Things, Streetlight Manifesto

Favorite Lyrics: oh my god. so many. (I had a hole in my heart and I was looking for a piece that fit) (Can anybody out there tell me something true? / Preferably something that no one can dispute.) (I don't know where the lies end and the truth begins) <- how he feels about himself!!!!!! (There was a lie that I told myself 'til it became the truth.) <- how he feels about his fucking name!!!!

Why it's on here: IT'S THE QUINTESSENTIAL ARTHUR AMNESIA SONG!!! It's how he feels about his amnesia!! It's also got his exact brand of schemy-ness about his paranoia about his amnesia, and just the general way he's a slippery fucking bastard.

5. I'm Gonna Win, Rob Cantor

Favorite Lyrics: (It's hard to be charming / and smart and disarming / It's hard to pretend you're the best)

Why it's on here: It's Arthur's I will do whatever the fuck I have to do be the fuck whoever I have to be to make sure I survive whatever the fuck this hellscape I've found myself in song.

6. Feign Amnesia, They Might Be Giants

Favorite Lyrics: (Now I know just what to do -- feign amnesia / How I wish it wasn't true / Wish it wasn't true right now)

Why it's on here: lmfao it's on her because arthur would fake-fake having amnesia to pretend he doesn't actually have amnesia LMFAO

7. Mask of My Own Face, Lemon Demon

Favorite Lyrics: (Mask of my own face / I'd wear that) (I'd wear it to a hoedown and I'd dance with all the belles / and none of them would know that I was secretly myself / I'd rob my own apartment / and I wouldn't give a damn / I'd blame it on the person that nobody knows I am) (I look into my eyeholes and what do I see? / At handsome motherfucker, motherfucking looking back at me)

Why it's on here: bcs of all those lyrics LMFAO

8. Frankenstein, Rina Sawayama

Favorite Lyrics: (Put me together, thread and a need / So I'm like all other people without all of the evil)

Why it's on here: HOT GIRL ARTHUR SONG!!!!!!

8. Promiseland, MIKA

Favorite Lyrics: LITERALLY EVERY SINGLE ONE

Why it's on here: OKAY GUYS THIS IS THE QUINTESSENTIAL THE DARK URGE SONG TO ME. ITS GOT EVERYTHING. ITS GOT DADDY ISSUES. ITS GOT IDENTITY ISSUES. ITS GOT RELIGIOUS TRAUMA. I WAS BORN IN THAT SUMMER WHEN THE SUN DIDN'T SHINE / I WAS GIVEN THE NAME THAT ODENS'T FEEL LIKE ITS MINE / LIVED MY LIFE AS THE GOOD BOY I SHOULD BE / PRAYED EVERY NIGHT TO A RELIGION THAT WAS CHOSEN FOR ME / SOLD MY SOUL BROKE MY BONES TELL ME WHAT DID I GET / TOED THE LINE AINT SEEN ANYTHING YET / STRIKE ME DOWN TO THE GROUND YOU KNOW IVE SEEN IT BEFORE / MAKE IT HURT ILL EAT THE DIRT / I JUST DONT CARE ANYMORE / HOW COULD YOU BREAK MY HEART? ALREADY PLAYED MY PART / I KEPT MY PROMISE MAN SHOW ME THE PROMISELAND / DONT OCCUPY MY THRONE GIVE ME THE CROWN I OWN / LIKED LIKE YOU TOLD ME HOW LOOK AT ME NOW AND AND AND ONE PERSON'S LIE WAS JUST ANOTHER MAN'S TRUTH / WE KEPT ON RUNNING FROM THE DEVIL BUT THE DEVIL WAS YOU / EVERY TIME I SEE THE LIGHT IM FALLING DEEPER IN DEPT / IF IVE NEVER SEEN THE GOOD HOW CAN IT COME TO AN END this is kinda my durge song of all time. i'd be making an amv to this song if i had the time to do it (continued on reblog since There isn't enough room for all of the links LMAO)

[sweetshelluvaau]

wait when was fizz ooc /gen

like tbf we didnt know a lot about him off-stage before oops so even tho he wasnt what he expected i wouldnt necessarily say it was ooc

same for ozzie

Maybe ooc isn't exactly the right term (at least in Oops case, the Mammon episode, oh he was completely ooc imho. I explained my thoughts about this here) more than how the narrative has everyone in the show be like 'isn't Stolas great?' and just defending him like Fizz you barely even know the guy! That or the writers fear that they can't write an abuse victim which happens to also be a horrible person. They have to be the 'prefect victim'. They took Fizz's bite away in the Mammon episode where he couldn't stand up for himself let alone have these insecurities he didn't have before out of no where?

Fizz not being able to protect himself physically? Okay I can buy that he's not a fighter. Fizz walking on eggshells around Mammon? Completely understandable being he's both his idol and his boss. But I'm sorry he wouldn't have sit there and take Glitz and Glam insults without snapping back? He'd also chew out that obsessed fan as well (which would also show how he grew from a timid teenager to a Snarky Shit). Yeah he may get a word from Mr. Christmas Tree after for the fan thing, but with G&G? C'mon, a little drama is great entertainment Mammon would eat that shit up if it means more view and money.

However with the case of Oz: He was written as if he was a complete idiot just to make Stolas look better in Oops. Yeah thankfully he didn't kiss Stolas' ass and seems to not like the guy (and I know Viv is gonna recon that in the future because god forbid we have a character that isn't a villain not like Stolas) but the whole thing with the lawyer and and Ozzie making really rash decisions (I mean yes he's hot headed but he's not stupid) and really Stolas NOT needing to be there.

Also saw someone in the critical tag mention this today: I'm sorry, Ozzie would sense something is up with Stolas and his 'feelings' for Blitzo. We had this ham fisted consent speech that went over owl boys head and you're telling me a man who's lived for thousands of years and has most likely dealt with some of the worst of humanity and demons Earth and Hell have to offer isn't gonna sense any red flags? And considering how much he hates people like Mammon, I'm sure plenty of the Ars Goetia aren't any better.

In other words Ozzie could smell bullshit from a mile away.

Also I'm ranting about this again for the hundredth time but Ozzie wouldn't sit around listening to some lawyer, he'd go to rescue Fizz himself. The guy can teleport anyways so I'm sure he can easily sneak into Crimson's compound and lay down the smack down like it's no one business because he's a SIn for crying out loud! And maybe after seeing Blitzo keeping Fizz safe and having that conversation with Stolas, Oz would likely just give Blitzo the crystal as a thank you suppose to giving to Stolas to give it Blitzo being again, he's picking up bad vibes.

That or have Fizz deliver it at a later date. After all, it was Fizz who said he 'earned it' and who's word do you think Ozzie is going to take to heart? It sure ain't Hooters.

That being said I'd also blame the fact that the same character can act one way in another episode and then have a completely different personality in the next if it means fitting the narrative. No one character is consistent and can change if it means making a character look better or again, fits the narrative of that said episode. What did they have some character development the last few episodes ago? Never mind that we're back to their old self or better yet, they have a completely new personality all together the fuck?

Honestly, I'm kinda drained from making the same agreements all time. All I wanted was a silly demon show about some silly demon assassins, not whatever the fuck we got now. At this point I just want to focus mostly my AU and other projects.

[night-dark-woods]

5, 7, 15 for the fic asks!!

thank you!!! this got extremely long.

5. What’s a fic idea you’ve had that you will never write?

oooh hm. idk about Never, but ive been rotating the idea of Chalco and Aunor interacting bc the different ways they orbit around Ikora FASCINATE me, and the things that have been asked of them are very different. it would have to be epistolary i think and while i DO think i have enough primary sources to get their voices and values alright (letters from Aunor etc, and then WQCE my beloved), im not confident in my ability to do epistolary, & also i'd need something specific for them to argue about (that i also am interested enough in to litigate thru character POVs).

i've yet to decide if I'm accepting the TFS ending cutscene panel where Ikora is using strand, bc im suuuper ambivalent on Ikora using any darkness subclass- i need to re-listen to a bunch more post-campaign stuff to see how i feel about it, bc i know she talks to Mara a LOT in mission voicelines, and i think a lot of their past conflict has been over Mara's antipathy towards the Light & focus on balance over sheer faith in the Traveler (not religious Faith-faith, as we've talked abt before, bc i dont think Ikora sees the Traveler as a *god* like Zavala does- it's like gravity or thermodynamics its simply *true,* and can be explained. its not something that requires faith or sacrifice.)

but if i decide to accept that as canon then i think that would make a FASCINATING argument because Aunor has been Ikora's hunting dog for YEARS, cold-blooded killer putting down guardians who fall to darkness, and i think the sheer betrayal (from Aunor's POV) of Ikora changing her position on that would cause SUCH a crisis of faith for Aunor (what does that mean for what she's done in Ikora's name? what does that mean for how she can live with the weight of it?), and i think constrasting that with Chalco being Ikora's right-hand man (her silly rabbit / does she call you that / no) BUT without the blind loyalty that Petra has for Mara ("you are not the queen and i am NOT one of her cadre") could be sooo fun bc it wouldn't be a simple "Aunor mutiny Chalco loyal." i just dont know if Actually Writing it will provide more enrichment for me than just rotating the concept in my head.

that got long!!! and also ive partially convinced myself to work on it eventually lol.

anyway. that's the main one that i can think of, that isnt a "this scenario sounds hot BUT i dont want to write it bc there isnt enough character work to make the logistical nightmare of writing porn worth it" LMFAO

7. How many ideas for fics do you have right now?

5-ish?

- Elsie&Amanda (nicknamed "horsegirl movie but its a robot with dysphoria") where Elsie needs help fixing some part of her body and she can't do it by herself for some reason and then has to deal with the fact that Amanda regards her body with a simple honest appreciation that Elsie will NEVER feel for herself bc of when and how she became an exo!!! her own mother calls her body a "walking lazaretto" and she watched her father die horribly for this technology!!! god!!!

- Ikora's fight with Madhir & how she let him eat her ability to want anything. god. Ikora Rey woman that you are. also inspired by the way the demon works in dunmeshi bc i think the Ahamkara should work more like that. fuck monkey's paw genie trick wishes, getting exactly what you wished for and in doing so losing part of Who You Are is so much better. the Ahamkara aren't evil tricksters they are PREDATORS they are the very tippy top of the food chain and as dunmeshi says. to eat is the sole privilege of the living. there is no moral weight to that no matter how violent and that makes the violence of it far more interesting!!!

- somewhere between 3 and 5 high-concept porn fics, 2 at WIP stage and several that may or may not get written, all Petra-centric bc i (and Jackie) love to put that dyke in situations (all have Mara/Petra/Sjur as a given established relationship, the two WIPs are focused on Mara/Petra and Petra/Sjur & the ones that may just stay as ideas have bonus Petra/Amrita(/other corsairs) & Petra(/Sjur)/Amanda)

15. How do you come up with titles for your fics/chapters?

song lyrics mostly!!! often the one i was listening to a lot while writing/thinking about it, or one that makes me feel like that post thats like "song that reminds me of my favorite character comes on and i make the most unwell expression known to man."

the problem is i want the vibe of the whole song to mostly fit which means i've recently become aware that i nearly exclusively listen to sad music, apparently, bc i could not find a Single Song i like that fit the very fluffy/conflict-free Amanda/Sloane fic i wrote recently, so instead its both a line from the fic and a bit of a pun on the content lol: follow-through (impact play)

[eldritch-spouse]

I am Bregs, Obie and Belos simp. I like me sum pathetic boys who want to start being happy.

But I also like Vesper and Santi, as an introvert. I'd imagine them having relaxing movie noons on my treat and hot makeout sessions at night as theirs.

Now, my Q. Are we capable of having a Poly relationship with Vesper, Santi and Lacai (bc yes, he hot like that)?

[Hi, you sent a couple of asks concerning the same characters, so I hope it's okay if I answer them all here.]

Given their general tendency to be open-minded, concubi are good pics to suggest polyamory with, and these three wouldn't really have an issue with that. A poly scenario between Vesper and Santi has already been talked about before, and it's generally possible due to it being advantageous for both demons involved (given Santi and Vesper know each other and have a positive view of each other). Lacai also has no trouble sharing. He already lives with his King and has thus become intimate with Vesper on a number of occasions, and he's met Santi when the same high-ranker entered the mansion as a guest. The three are perfectly capable of getting along, and a poly relationship will work surprisingly well.

However, three lust demons is a lot of work, and I honestly think you'll like, get fucked to death if you don't have a loooong talk concerning who gets to eat and when, or how much energy is taken from you. Point being, keep it open and let them feed off others or you'll exist in a constant state of exhaustion.

I'd marry Vesper just to have me sum Lacai. Seriously, that smol king might be my cup o tea. I WAN A PUT HIM IN A COLLAR AND WALK HIM AROUND ♡ THAN PET AND KISSES.

You do realize that all the servants are technically yours now as well, right? Vesper will encourage you to have your way with them, and definitely takes pictures of you leading Lacai around while the impcubus blushes furiously.

OK, I'm 5'1. That means Lacai was made for me ♡ Imma fuck that baby into oblivion (the other way around also works)

One inch taller and you're already getting high on the power, lmao. The imp is a switch, as tend to be most people of Lust, so go hog wild.

Can, and will Vesper let us take the lead when the ritual takes place? Like we ridding and domming HIM. Marking him and shit yknow.

Of course! In fact, it would really charm Vesper if you took initiative, especially because of how tiny you are. Everyone will know how worthy of ruling Lust you are when the King begs you to fuck him harder and his tongues hang out like a drooling mutt's... He's going to advertise you as a little menace of a human, your subjects will sing your praises forever honestly.

[apirateslifefor--smee]

support women's wrongs: a majke de spell playlist ( @majkemaniiia )

prairie girl by rah rah

i did something bad by taylor swift

bring me to life by evanescence

pierre by ryn weaver

nothing matters by the last dinner party

free by florence and the machine

you know i'm no good by amy winehouse

hounds of love by kate bush

still sane by lorde

run by daughter

prairie girl by rah rah

I am a prairie girl Straight to the bone I'll cut you off on the drive back home I spend my winters alone Yeah there's just no place quite like home

I feel like this song is so underrated lol I used to LOVE it in high school. This song is about being a #tough girl but also maybe you fall in love a little bit but NO YOU DON'T you get the hell out of there before you can get hurt. And it just felt like a good place to start for Magica who is very self-sufficient and independent but I also think somewhere deep down she is kind of lonely... but anyway it's fine she's a prairie girl!!

2. i did something bad by taylor swift

They say I did something bad Then why's it feel so good? They say I did something bad But why's it feel so good? Most fun I ever had And I'd do it over and over and over again if I could It just felt so good, good

Sorry sorry one thing about me is I'll sneak tswizzle onto these playlists. Obviously this song is about a lot of different things and not necessarily about summoning demons but like lowkey it could be. Magica is kind of the weird one in her family for being into shadow magic and I just think she'd be like ok u say i did something bad... but WHY'S IT FEEL SO GOOD!!!!

3. bring me to life by evanescence

Wake me up inside (save me) Call my name and save me from the dark (wake me up) Bid my blood to run (I can't wake up) Before I come undone (save me) Save me from the nothing I've become

Stay with me here lol. This is less about the lyrics and more about the VIBE. Like if there was ever a song to summon demons to it'd be this song. You know what I mean? I really don't think that's what this song is about but I just had to put it here for the vibes.

4. pierre by ryn weaver

And I fell for a vagabond, a month at tops Lied and said his bike was in the motor shop Drove my car once and made the tire pop Still we had some fun, till I came to 'Cause I wouldn't be with you

This song is about hooking up with a bunch of guys who are probably con artists/grifters/liars because you're running from your feelings about someone. And idk if that's true for Magica but I DO think she is like simultaneously really savvy but also drawn to liars at the same time. Maybe because she is a powerful lady and can handle herself so she might as well have a little fun. Also I just think this song is whimsical and witchy idk you get the vibe.

5. nothing matters by the last dinner party

I put my heart inside your palms My home in your arms Now we know nothing matters Nothing matters

I also kind of put this song here more for the vibes than the lyrics because it sounds kind of witchy and whimsical but I also think it goes with the theme of Magica's hot girl energy. She's here to fuck around and get what she wants and as I said she can handle herself etc so if ppl try to use her she will also use them!

6. free by florence and the machine

I'm always running from something I push it back, but it keeps on coming And being clever never got me very far

Once again the theme of running from something! Magica is always on the run but I think she also knows herself really well and knows what she needs to feel #free. Whether that's dancing or magic or something else. Also once again we are here for vibes. Florence is always a witchy vibe.

7. you know i'm no good by amy winehouse

I cheated myself Like I knew I would I told you I was trouble You know that I'm no good

To me this song is about thinking you're the bad guy and then finding out actually the person you're with is also the bad guy and still managed to hurt u even though u thought u were immune to that! And I think it gets at Magica's vulnerability despite this powerful witch exterior she has.

8. hounds of love by kate bush

Among the hounds of love And feel your arms surround me I've always been a coward And never know what's good for me Oh, here I go, don't let me go

I am obsessed with this song lately?? I wanted to give Magica one love song bc I think she should get one <3 This song is about feelings coming for u like a pack of hounds and you're like you know what let's just give into it! And I know this is not Magica's usual vibe but once in a while we see her soft side and I love that <3

9. still sane by lorde

Only bad people live to see Their likeness set in stone What does that make me?

I loveeee this song. It's so creepy and evocative. I think this song could be about the consequences of making yourself very powerful and like dealing with the fallout of that. What happens when Magica faces what she's done?? Will she ever?? Much to consider...

10. run by daughter

I don't know what we're doing I don't know what we've done But the fire is coming So I think we should run

Returning to our run theme! I don't know what the speaker in this song has done to make them have to run, but Magica is always careful not to have anyone look too closely at what's going on with her demon niece! And again I thought this song had a very creepy/witchy vibe so it seemed like a good place to end.

[popculturebuffet]

Top 20 Animated Episodes of 2022 Part 1: 20-11

Happy new year all you happy people! It's that time of the year again for my top 20 episodes of the year list!

For those new, which is likely a lot of you as these things tend to blow up, every year I take 5 episodes max from every show I watched, as given both this blog's busy schedule and my habit of putting things off I don't get to everything i'd like to (Personal apologizes to Dead End Paranormal Park, The Cuphead Show, Transformers Earthspark, Mike Judge's Beavis and Butthead apart from one episode, and Primal), and pick the best. As for why not just do a top 10 , or as I tend to do 12, there's a few simple reasons.

1) Since this blog started with just single episode reviews of shows and it continues to be the blogs backbone, it honors what I do, and is a nice way to really single out the episodes that really hit the high points for a season.

2) Even when i'm hitting a LOT of shows in a year, I still don't usually reach 20, and even if I did it wouldn't feel like enough to make a proper list and 5 seems too few.

3) It's something few other people do , especially for animation, so it stands out more while still allowing me to reflect on the year in animation

Now that's settled, before we get to the list under the cut let's talk about 2022.. but first just let me.. mentally prepare myself

Okay now ii'm mildly prepared 2022..

On the one hand we got a lot of good content. In addition to those fine, critically raved about shows I mentiond I didn't get to I got to PLENTY of good animation this year: While Owl House got screwed over last year, it started going down swinging with it's best run of episodes followed by a special that's just shy of breaking 5 million views on youtube and made disney realize they fucked up real good. So with a new regime hopefully it won't bow forever next year. Amphibia did bow out with an utterly heartstopping finale, The Great North has reached it's peak, while they sadly bowed out Tuca and Bertie and Close Enough still had great seasons to close out on as they left us wanting more, and we got two utterly record smashing debuts; Smiling Friends which is still a sensation even now and is easily one of the best adult comedies in recent times, which is not the easy feat it once was, and Legend of Vox Machina not only continued Amazon Prime's hot streak, but proved to be a hilarious yet deeply integlent and compelling fantasy.. that still had a song about tugging a gnome's motherfucking beads, a goliath nakedly diving into acid, and one or four heroes going through a tragic arc that included an accidental pact with a vengeance demon complaning that his love intrest just yah'd him like a horse while running away from demons. There was a lot of fantastic stuff. And that's not even getting into the films I haven't got to or the one I have with PUss in Boots.

Behind the scenes though?

Yeah, let's start with the appitizers first; Disney continued it's slow march towards death, putting Turning Red on Disney+… depsite the fact that unlike the previous two straight to D+ orders, which were undrestandable.. they simply coudl've delayed it by a few weeks or delayed lightyear.. which in contrast bombed HORRIBLY in theaters. It also came out Disney gladly funded various florida senate members who ended up passing the contriversal don't say gay bill, which is beyond standard disney fuckups into a level of vile. Thankfully Old New Boss bob iger stepped in at the end of the year, so their might be hope.

Netflix also seems in flux: on the one hand they still put out lots of critcally aclaimed animation.. and on the other they keep canceling things, not knowing what their doing, so their fine.

Ironically though what caused me the most stress this year to the point I spiraled into depression in anxiety wondering if anything I did mattered.. was Warner Bros Discovery. After champinoing Cartoon Network and HBO MAx as a safe haven for animatoin, a great place, and generally great.. the celeing cave in, the floor gave out and what was left got set on fire, covered in spiders and some sort of hobgoblin who hates animation , diversity and sometimes it feels me specifically took hold.

That hobgoblin.. was Dave Zaslav, head of discovery, new head of warner brothers and absolute human nightmare. In the span of just a few months he canned two full movies, Batgirl and Scoob 2 and made it so they can never be finished or released, and that… just something so disrepectful to it's crew, moneywasting and pr headachey that it still lingers to this day (Mostly batgirl but even not carring about Scoob 2 what the fuck).. was him JUST GETTING STARTED. Over several months he took a fucking chainsaw to hbo max, cutting content left and right and leaving many shows that were either streaming only like Close Enough or hadn't got a dvd release like Victor and Valentino, Mao Mao and FAR TOO DAMN MANY to list, effectively homeless, the most galling to me being completely digitally delisting final space, TAKING AWAY PEOPLE'S ALRAEDY BOUGHT DIGITAL COPIES, and generally destroying the franchise… to make 5 bucks. I know he likely got more than that but come the fuck on. It is not an exageration nor slandar to say David Zaslav cares less about the company functioning.. and more about making money to the point he's just.. liscneding shows they had the rights to to other streamers. Which is good as at least htey wont be cast into the void, but it's galling to have someone so greedy even something as simple and to some actors VITAL as residuals makes him wince. He has done exactly ONE THING right in making James Gunn head of the DCEU and I still don't trust him not to step in and fuck tha tup for James, the viewing public and good taste because his track record is if it costs money

I wasn't REMOTELY joking about that anxiety attack. When someone disrespects your medium THIS BADLY , it makes you quefstion everything your doing. I came around realizing I can keep these things alive and keep him acountable, but it still hasn't been easy constantly wondering what he's going to do next to fuck things up, to fuck up possible retrospectivges or just generally make animation worse. He has been a waking nightamre and has single handeledly made the year harder. It was hard enough with Elon Musk's takeover of twitter (Which i'm on more now, you can find me HERE), republican garbage still rising up and making LBGTQ+ peoples lives hell, JK ROwling somehow getting even worse and way too many gutpunch celebrity deaths… but this year will be SO MUCH EASIER if Zaslav finally goes down. Please… WB get rid of him before he eats you from the inside. And you reading please.. dont' harass him. It won't help. You can call for his resignation, but please do so respectfully. We do not want to be ignorant yowling jackasses. Just be good people.

So this year was highs, lows and not so creamy middles.. but what shows rose to the top? What shows were the best? Or at least almost the best but not quite? Find out bellow as I count down The first 10, Numbers 20-11, of my top 20 animated episodes of 2022!:

20. X-Mas with the Skanks Adventure (The Great North)

"It isn't a Lone Moose White Elephant without someone running off into the night to cast something in the lake"

The Great North is as show I liked a lot last year and that has only improved with age, to the point I really wish more people talked about this wonderfully charming, bonkers little show. It has great characters, even greater voice acting and some of the most hilariously weird plots i've seen in a sitcom while still being grounded in the characters themselves. And season 3 is the show hitting it's stride, as while season 2 was pretty good (and we'll see an episode form that later) Season 3 has been the show's consitently best season, with such plots as the tobins minus beef getting addicted to an outback stakehouse style restraunt Beef dosen't want them to go to, a disaster drill that's dinosaur themed, beef inviting all his love intrests to a dance and all of them being fine with it once the misunderstanding is cleared up, the town deciding to have a man who carves wives for sailors cave a really , really handsome man to win a local yachting compettion, having to cart the local millionare to an island while the kids all go overboard on being rich for a change, and the tobins all turning on each other over beef's obession with the movie Enough Said. It's all great stuff, though what ultimately won was a premise smaller in scope but no less dumb, and just in time for christmas.

While the show's last Christmas episode was great, X-Mas takes it to a new level with a very simple, realistic but still hilarous idea: It's the annual Lone Moose White Elephant, which while bringing in tons of the towns great character from the easily impresssed Santiago Carpachio, the aptly titled Drama John, deadpan death lover and my adopted daughter Bethany, and the calm soft spoken Mayor Peepers, it also opens old wounds: As the Tobin kids tell Honeybee, several christmases ago the kids got one of those singing anamatronic dealies, you know your singing fish, bears, etc, the kind that annoy the heck out of parents if overused and the kind i'm sure most children have had at a least one point. I had a singing fish and thus deeply related to the episode of Big City Greens where Cricket bonded with his while trying to resolve his repeated attempted murders.

Skanky is no exception, a very weird x-mas tree that sings a christmas version of Mambo #5, shakes it's various balls that are supposed to be sex oragans mut make no sense as such and delighting the kids.. and slowly driving beef mad to the point he finally got rid of it last year. And given the Tobins turns had all passed, they coudln't get him back and due to a recall coudln't find one online. Granted i've never seen that stop someone from selling something online but still point is they were skankless.

Part of what makes this so funny is that normally the Tobins aren't at each other's throats: their one of the most loving supportive families you can see. As Honeybee evne points out this episode Beef would normally give his kids the shirt off his back "I've seen you do it multiple times when Wolf forgot to get dressed. " So seeing him both so throughly against something that makes the kids happy, while seeing them all so against their dad is a nice contrast, and is also nicely petty. I do love the close knit family we have here but sometimes i'ts fun to see the stupdiest things turn them against one another while still being plausable.

You can probably see where this is going as Londra, their boat neighbor friend and happily married lesbian, has returned Skanky from whence he came, as he's started to haunt her and with her partner gone, she had a chance. This leads to a bloodthristy game of chess as the Tobins try to out manuver beef, as well as various townsfolk who want Skanky, not helped by Honeybee understandably switching sides as Skanky is awful. Hilarous but I woudln't want him in my house. We also get a neat subplot about Moon and a pregnant reindeer that bonds him with his new friend and love intrest introduced this season so dat's nice. But the main draw is this hilariously stupid conflict. And while it does get a nice emotinal tie, Beef also ties Skanky to the fact he was all he could afford and ashame of him, it never looses the core with beef being ready to cast it into a lake at one point, and being quitely infurated as the kids get a twerking snowman as a replacement. This episode scraped onto the list barely beeting out vampire keanu reeves but it's townwide fun and the sheer werid specificity of this feud while still somehow being relatable got me.

19. Charlie Dies and Dosen't Come Back (Smiling Friends)

"Grandma what are you doing here?" "Oh I cursed and said DAMN in 1958 when your grandpa was shot by that ROTTEN burgalar!" "… well that seems unresonable I don't think you should be in hell for that."

Smiling Friends had one heck of a pilot last year, a hilariously dark tale of two colorful cartoon characters trying convince a man not to kill himself.. while said man has a gun casually pointed at his head the whole time. It shoudl not have worked as well as it did, but man it did helped by the bizzare quest of Alan to get his cheese back from some rodents.. and also find out why some guy is living in his wall but cheese first.

It's no shock then that when Adult Swim dropped the first season all at once early last year, it blew the internet in half, became a huge sensation and is easily one of the best comedies in Adult Swim's storied history. It can be weird as hell but unlike some adult sitcoms dosen't just throw weird shit at you, but uses it to craft jokes, to create contrast in general just to be great. And this episode is a great showcase as to why while also being a shocking bit of character development in a show that mostly sticks to just living episode by episode.

In this one, yet ANOTHER christmas episode (likely because the show was originally scheduled for late 2021), the smiling friends head out to get a tree and Charlie's lack of enthusastim for getting his job or damn near everything finally grates on Pim, who meekly but firmly approaches it. Charlie, being kind of an ass, explodes on him over this, makes a scene.. and then dies for his hubris.

He arrives in hell with his hellish bed, hellish tv and jeremy his helish source of entertainment, aka one of the best running gags in human history.

Just.. the animation there as the wind goes out of him… beautiful. Getting help from his grandma whose in hell for, as detailed in the quote, not the fairest reasons, and watching her deepthroat a lollypop whiel laughing manically, Charlie journey's through hell and finds Satan. This gag.. is fine. Like Satan being mad over a doordash is hilaroius, I won't lie but him just being an introverted gamer on his computer is thek ind of gag tha'ts just been done neough. You can do more with the devil being funny, just look at the Cuphead show this year or Futurama in the past. That said him deciding to just.. not help charlie after he makes him smile and jeremy getting his revenge helps.. as does the literally deus ex machina that saves him GOD VOICED BY GILBERT GODFREY, which is not only just.. brilliant casting but took on a LOT of extra meaning after his untimely passing not long after. He got to go out of his long, distinguished voice acting career playing god. You coudln't ask for a better sendoff.. nor a better ending as Charlie ends up on earth a bit less cynical and a lot less naked. He probably won't change, this isn't that kind of show.. but what this show is is deeply hilarious, creative and weird and i'm happy to get at least one more season of it.

18. Grandma Smugglers (Craig of the Creek)

"Your dad is an utter smokeshow and I say that with the utmost respect" One of my greatest regrets on this list was not putting Capture the Flag on here last year. It's why I took off the regulation that I had to watch every or almost every episode of a show to qualify. The special was a grand finale to the shows longest arc that also tapped into it's continuity so deeply it made me want to see what the nods I didn't recognize were about and got me to catch up.

That was well worth it as Season 4 may be Craig of the Creek's best yet. With the kingdom disolved, there's now more to explore, omar is now around full time and the show continues to be a nice comforting bit of greatness to dig into every few months when Cartoon Network releases a batch of episodes.

This episode in paticular takes advantage of things now that the other side is free by focusing on Raj, one half of the honesuckle rangers aka the show just casually having a gay couple that starts out as bumbling antagonists subserviant to a cruel dictator then quickly has them become some of our heroes most steadfast alllies.. who were weirdly absent from the final battle but hey the capture the flag game had a LOT of moving parts.

This time we see Raj's home life and it's honestly nice. He has a loving dad who JP can't help but comment is a total smokeshow (with all respect). Which..

He's also voiced by Danny Pudi who i'm delighted to see post-ducktales and I was happy to find out has a major role in earthspark.

Raj also has a grandma, a kind woman who moved here when there was no one to take care of her in her native india, and whose son is overprotective of her. He clearly loves her and the warmth between them just.. melts my heart and reminds me of my own grandmas. What's unique though is tackling the immigrant experince, growing older and generally a lot of things you don't see in a kids cartoon but Craig of the Creek does it's best to be represenative as hell, often showing off unique part sof the various kids cultures.

The core of this episode is also heartwarming as Raj wants to sneak his grandma out, hence the title.. but to see a waterfall in the creek that's similar to one she grew up with. It's a simple goal with Kelsey, JP and Mortimor filling in for her.. and failing badly turning it into a race to get there.. and allowing Raj's father to see that maybe he needs to ease up on his mom, still take good care of her, but let her enjoy her life. It's a simple, sweet story, the kind Craig of the Creek really excels at and in a list full of hard choices, this one was well… simple

.

17. The Core and the King (Amphibia)

"Don't you think it's time to say goodbye to those childhood friends of yours, son?"

Amphibia Season 3b.. was a mixed bag. On the one hand it was necessary to set up the finale, helped further Sasha's character growth and the post apocalyptic amphibi was kinda neat… but mostly it just felt like the series spinning it's wheels and ocasionally doing something to help set up the final conflict.. then making all of this near pointless by having the gathered army just.. give up in the third to last episode. As you can probably tell as much as I love the show.. it's one of it's weaker periods. So there weren't a ton of episodes from this that made the list but the two (technically four, and just with that you can probably guess which one made it to the next part of the list), that made it are some of the series best.

Core and the King gives us Andrias' hinted at backstory, why he talks about friends so much that even not knowing it.. both Anne and Marcy figured something was up seperatley in Marcy's Journal.

What could've been a simple tale of Andrias being evil and his friends having to turn on him.. we see it wasn't that simple. Turns out while Andrias people were indeed conquerers it was widely accepted. That was a shock to me, if not a suprising one: if you grow up your whole life thinking ransacking entire worlds, leaving them lifeless and hollow and keeping some of the surivviors just to study and make new advancments to conquer the next place is fine just fine, it'd be hard to question until something pushes it. Both Steven Universe and She Ra have detailed the deprogramming that'd take.

Andrias was indeed happy and had two friends, Leif and Barrel. Yes the same guy what made that neat hammer grime uses. Also Leif is very clearly a plantar, to the point Anne also called that along with us, and the finale confirms it. Not the most vital takeaway here but they were not subtle.

Things are fine though Andrias' abusive dad Aldrich, played phenominally by William Houston who apparnetly played a similar character in dark souls, encourages him to drop his friends. As it turns out being absorbed into the core was a tradition.

Things take their turn, and thankfully save the world from early ruin, when Leif holds the calamity box.. and gets a vision of the world ending. When she can't swaw Aldrich because fuck if he cares he'll just find another world to ravage and start over, she's forced to take drastic measures. And this is what makes the betrayal suprisingly layered and what makes this work so much for me: while we know Leif did the right thing, she still had to steal from her best friend, plunged the kingdom into darkness, and forced Barrel to make the hard decision to let her go. She did the hard thing.. but it didn't come without consequences, lost her everything and everyone she knew, forced her into hiding, and ruined her life for a while. She did recover eventually.. but as we saw in the finale it took a LONG time for that to happen. It's a soul crushing decission as no one wins and we knew no one would… we just didn't know it'd be this sad or not nearly as straightfoward. Sure Andrias is doing the wrong thing.. but he's a kid abused into beliving this is all okay, with no real choice to pivot from what his dad once who then had said dad and every other horrible ancestor he has scremaing in his head for the rest of his life. While it dosen't make what Andrais did REMOTELY okay, it makes him far more sympathetic than I thought possible, someone who really had no chice but ot become the monster he did and how simply not backing his friend up, for the understandable reason of not seeing her dreams, screwed him up badly. It's a truly harrowing well built episode that nicely sets up the finale.. I really wish there were more like it leading up to it but i'll take what I got.

16. Say It Again, Ham, Adventure (The Great North)

"I didn't want Drama. I guess I just kept coming out because I wanted one single perfect moment"

So back to the GREATTTTT NORRTTTTH and like the above episode, i've covered this one. See back in June Kev pitched me "Queer as a Fox".. which I sometimes put as gay as a fox because my brain is very tired. Point is it was a look at Fox's animated queer content over the years… with Simpsons mostly getting it right, Family Guy having either gay sterotypes or a transphobic diatribe that will likely be the worst thing i've reviewed for the rest of my career, and American Dad just being sorta

But for the finale I picked out the Great North, both to give us an even four and because it was the first one of these Fox Sitcoms to just come out, pun intended, and have a queer character in the main cast from day one and not have them be a sterotype or it be their whole personality. It's just there. Hence Ham, a loveable odd ball with a flair for baking whose always a moment behind everyone else and who comes out in the first episode.. for what's clearly the 80th time. While the crew could've just left the joke at that… they later decided in the back half of season 2 to explore this; Why HAD Ham come out so much?

So while watching a movie with his monotone but loving and kind if also frequently slow on the uptake boyfriend Crispin, about a racecar driver having to come out as gay, and also in a way that nicely lampoons various queer media that's just about screaming

Over and over. Ham assumes this kind of coming out isn't usual and while Crispin's wasn't that bad and his parents, while taking a second accepted they did light fireworks and have to pay massive damages over said fireworks. It then , while also giving us LOTS Of Fun ham coming outs (From using it as a suggestion during one of Judy's improv gigs, to Mayor Peepers annual silly wig party which has Ham in a sailor moon wig, to white water rafting), reframes it as Ham wanting more from his coming out. His family was simply kind, loving and supportive and while he liked that for such an important moment in his life.. he wanted a tad of gravitas.

And being a nice, supportive loving family (Even if Beef was going through some stuff in the pilot he still told him "And we love you just the way you are dammit!"), the Tobins gladly agree to help Moon stage a second more dramatic coming out by having come out to Beef's Cousin Danica. Danica.. is the worst in the most hilarious way possible, having not heard from the tobins since she Moon was a baby and she wrote on the back of his birth announcment "Please stop". She also has an entirley beige house and upon meeting her for this plan, which Beef while going along with is ready to pull his son out of if she's too hurt, tells Judy she looks like a floozy (Something Judy finds entertaingly insulting. )

Things quickly esclate though as it turns out Danica was hiding some thefts and holds the tobins hostage, minus Wolf and Honeybee who are trying to do a true crime podcast, and soon have to contend with Danica's basement, trying to escape, and the fact danica only has tvoed episodes of fraiser with commentary on them.

We also get two hilarious Chief's, Chief's Edna and Elba (one voiced by the wonderful kat dennigs) who are delightful as they are enept, and barely manage to actually pull off arresting her. Ham also has the revelation he dosen't need a dramatic coming out and it's a good thing his family is like this.. not everyone GETS to have a safe, sedate coming out and it's nice of the show to acknowledge that not every coming out has to be dramatic or traumatic for the person doing so and it'd be a nicer world if we had more soft acceptance like the tobins give. but also gets to have one safely with his family acting it out. It's a truly sweet moment with a very nice hug at the end. Overall an excellent episode

15. Clouds on the Horizon/ King's Tide (The Owl House)

"Watcha Playin?"

I originally had just kings tide but I realized these two.. are basically a two parter, similar to the end of the previous season. While the final quarter of season 2 is just one long narrative roller coaster it's these that bring it to it's end.. and prepare us to board the NEXT ONE for season 3, and overlap, even if both have diffrnet goals.

Our first half sets up Eda and the CATS plan to sabotage the day of unity, while Luz's , while first just seeming to be a sidequest to rescue her sweetie with her nerdy best friends who used to alwasy be beside her but had thigns to adress elsewhere but are now back beside her.. ends up being important.

On a character level after a season of putting up with Odalia's shit, her entire family rebels against her: THe twins actively try to help Amity sabotage her, and Alador is revealed to be badly domestically abused, working because Odalia threatned the kids otherwise, and stands up to his soon to be ex wife. We get the aawesome battle sequence you'd expect from that, as well as Kiki slipping further.. and slipping that the emperoror has a spy in the CATS and thus knows about the plan, leading to luz ducking away. It's an intense, fun episode with one big heartwarming moment, the second most cathartic divorce of 2022, and a hell of a cliffhanger.. to be resovled righ tnow.

I combined the epis because raelly they flow right into one another, being one big climax to the season and EVERYTHING it's built up, the first half finishing Amity's subplot, and tying in Kiki's slow fall.. and the next one containing every damn thing else paying off.

The first horrifying thing is that despite our heroes best efforts and another neat fight scene… Belos WINS. At least for a few minutes: Even as the rest of our heroes airship their way to be big damn heroes, Luz deals with Belos personally as with his genocide already on autopilot, and Terra and the other collabeerators thinking their getting paradise much like odalia finishign the job for him only to realize he lied and they'll die, he tosses the Collector into the bottom of his super villian lair and prepares to go off ot earth dellusional that it'll all be great.

The episode has a nice air of hopelessness as Luz DEAPERATELY tries to stave things off by sigil stamping belos, a clever big of using his own racisim and ego against him by playing up his need for a guide.. then has to fight a blob monster. It's an episode where, much like for most of the season.. our heroes are loosing. Their doing their best and without sigils aside from hunter (Who being basically human can fight it off easier I guess), and we get a great fight.. and a truly sad moment when Belos gaslights hunter again, but it's ultimately a loosing one: our heroes are good and we get to see just how far they've come across the series and season, with Luz using a truly awesome looking pheonix-esque x made of fire to kick thigns off.. but ti also shows how outmatched they always were: they keep growing, evolving getting better as people and as witches.. but their up against someone whose been getting worse as a person but even better as a witch for a century and who even without his magic has freakys hapeshifting powers and hulk strength.

The desperation makes King's decision to free the collector.. make sense: there was no other option: his mom was dying (even if rahne manages to cut eda's arm off before she completely dies), his friends and sister were dying.. this was his only option. And it shows that just because i'ts not belos.. dosen't mean the Collector isn't any more dangeorus showing that he's still a child in mind and body.. and using that to be twilight zone level's of terrifying.

The simple image of a child in wha'ts basically pajamas, holding belos attack with one finger and simply asking "whatcha playin".. is as aweosme.. as it is terrifying. This is a being who just had our heroes all but beat and has been behind everything.. and he gets swatted away with just two fingers like it was NOTHING and makes the collector approaching our heroes right after that much more terrifying.. as is their escape with our heroes BARELY regrouping ot earth.. and king once again making a massive sacrifice. While the collector stopped the spell.. the isles are at his mercy and our heroes are even more lost than before… with the very foe they just lost.. not as gone as they think. It's a tense thrill ride of a two parter that somehow manages to fliip the table again just in time for it to all come crashing down and I coudln't wait ot see how it goes.. and still can't wait to see how it all ends… still wish we had ore episodes what the fuck disney. But what we got.. holy shit will it stay with me for years to come.

14. Enchanted Forest (Smiling Friends)

"Which hand of the Witch hand will it be? Gahahahahaha!" "This is the most obnoxious thing i've seen in my life. "

Look sometimes the things that make it on these lists are terrifying showdowns with abusive genocidal assholes or god children. And sometimes i'ts an optimist and a lazy pesimist wondering through a fantasy forest that just happens to be in their town for some reason while acompanied by a rotoscopped hobit who wants them to deliver an IED to his Stalking Victim. Sometimes I just want goblins and refrences to my childhood. I'm a simple man. Okay that's a lie i'm a man who has about 80 intrests that fight for my head, an obession with keith david and who constantly refrences a comic strip more people need to hear of

But I do love this episode which takes a simple stock plot, Charlie dosen't want to do something (Something being quest in the fantasy forest their in), Pim wants to, Charlie ends up being better at it… and somehow weaves in comic gold like the hand witch (and her excellent chopping skills), goblins (one of my faviorite things and I do like how this paticular goblin shows up a decent amount. ) , and of course Mip, a direct rotoscoped parody of the Bakshi versions of Hobbit and Lord of the Rings. Do I love seeing this refrenced in modern day? Absolutely. Do I love that Mip has weird sexual tension with charlie, dosen't raelly break character and turns out to be an elaborate homage to Bjork's stalker?… yes and no respectively. Mip is really what makes the episode, though having charlie save some aliens and the suddenly grim ending dosne't hurt either. Not the most complex episode.. but sometimes an episode just needs to be funny and the fact they went to the trouble of rotoscoping a character just to get the refrence right shows Smiling Friend's craft: the animatoin is simple but can speed up in complexity, change styles or what have you just ot sell the joke or moment better. That and goblins. Always goblins.

13. Fate's Journey (The Legend of Vox Machina

"Faster Percy Yah Yah!" "I'm going as fast as I can, this carriage isn't built for speed and did you just Yah me?!"

Legend of Vox Machina was one of the nicest suprises i've ever had in animation. I had no real idea the adaptation of Critical Roll's first campagin was coming, and was only vaugely aware critical roll existed because Your Turn To Roll showed up in my spotify recomendations (And it slaps). So finding out that in the wake of invincible Amazonw as rolling out ANOTHER animated adult action show that looked like if James Gunn did a fantasy show.. I was intrigued. And after the first three episodes, as Amazon releases the show in batches of three, I was HOOKED. While it took me far too long to get to actually watching Critical Roll itself I fell in love with this show and while only having heard of two of it's voice actors before this (Ashley Johnson and Sam Rigel, Tulip/Lake and Donetello respectively), I became a huge fan of all of them after. Vox Machina takes a dungeon and dragons campaign and condensed it into 12 joyous episodes that still have the spirit of chaos of a campaign, while also telling a deeply compelling story of revenge, friendship, and scanlan's crotch. The series deftly ballances the tragic vengeful story of Percy as he edges closer to literallya nd figuratevely selling his soul for revenge with great character moments for all involved, and PLENTY of hyjinks from team bard Scalan pulling a distractoin by singing a song on tugging on his motherfucking beads while wearing a sparkly codpiece (One DIRECTLY MODELED on one of VA Sam Rigel's own costumes)

A planning scene where brusier Grog's plan is kill everyone including the guy their rescuing while Scalans is "Down a bunch of mystery poitions and hope I live, and Scalan's attempt to translate a book they got from their enemies devolvling into him and Vax giving each other two handed middle fingers. And of course the majestic game of ball tag, which starts at the breakfast table and escalates to Vax elbowing Grog in front of an offical for a 3 pointer. The series is a nice ballance of hilarious , heartfelt and generally horrifying, and it is awesome.

And while it's a bit of a thrill ride, having to pack over 50 hours of campagin into 10 episodes (the first two based on a pre-stream adventure that ends up being VITAL to the plot Season 2 adaps), it dosen't mean our team dosen't take time to stop and breathe and it's why Fate's Journey has stuck with me so much.

After a disasterous first encounger with the Briarwoods, the vampire and necromancer power coupled that slaughtered Percy's family and took over his hometown of whitestone and succesfuly enthraled the soverign of the land, our heroes are on the run out of town, minus their Cleric Pike (Whose reaffring her connection to her patron the everlight) and on the way to Whitestone to settle things. As a result we get a lot of nice character moments. Scanlan , despite normally being the extra horny extra hammy comic relief, tries to translate a book they stole from them, Grog, who sees pike as a sister, is morose over her being gone and convides in Vax and Vex, Vax's sister, tries to get Percy to open up and stop having a resting bitchface. We see both who our heroes are for a second, and see them truly bonding as more than just the only people who will loosely put up with one another.

We also get one of the seasons funniest scenes as during a relaxing campfire, the party recounts their weirdest kills: We get some badass ones with Vex casually killing Hotis which toally won't come back to bite him, Grog ripping a monsters jaw in half.. and some hilarious ones as Keyleth pushes an ogre into lava.. and then pushes him down while telling him to go to sleep panicked because he's not dead yet while everyone else looks on and horror and of course Scalan's.. is having a sex partner turn into a monster.. and still finishing.

That.. image aside, we also get a thrilling chase with Scalan getting kidnapped and sucking on a monster tentacle because of course, Grog being certain he wont survivie but heartwarmingly sad about it, and of course the greatst and funniest bit of ship tease in human history as Vex yahs percy as a horse and he undrestndably dosen't take it well. It's a relaxed episode that turns thrilling and leaves our heroes without any of their weapons.

The ending is also masterful.. in the most horrifying way possible. Earlier we see the briarwoods meet with some pesants seemingly doing some pr for their evil overlordship.. and at the end we find out WHY they, including a CHILD were invited…. as we see their bodies all hung on the sun tree in center of town dressed as Vox Machina. It's truly chilling, horrifying and I did not see it coming but man does it cut the bone even thinking of it now. I.. really don't have anything to follow that, fantastic episode.. next?

12. Any Sport In A Storm (The Owl House)

"Then there won't be any delay in branding you with Coven sigils and taking you away from your friends and family forever! Hooray!"

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME HUNTLOWWWWWW?

Yeah look I haven't hidden I ship this. I"m not a subtle person. It's why this guy is one of my spirit animals

So it's not a huge shock this one got on here, but it didn't just because a ship I started shipping before this went from "Maybe canon" to

In the span of one episode. This episode is a great character piece and thankfully spotlights both halfs of Huntlow well. After Willow spent most of season 2a gone, likely because Tati Gabrille is far busier than I could've possibly imagined, she gets one heck of a spotlight here that moves both her and Hunter's arcs forward, moves them together, and gives us a subplot with some Lumity that's.. fine. It's a nice little riff on fan theorizing and the azura thing, and it's ncie to see the two get a moment together that dosen't come with a lot of crap attached first. Just the two hanging out and being dorks.

But their not the dorks we're here for, nor why this episode is on this list. No it's the green and the gold for this one as Willow brings up a hithero unknown intrest in flyer derby.. basically a broom flying sport where you try to steal flags and beat the crap out of each other. You know for kids, and is forming her own team. At the same time in order to get the respect of an adult who hates him for something that isn't his fault because Hunter's life is a constant stream of abuse, brainwashing and doing sick flips, Hunter inflitrates the school.. and it goes how you'd expect

So when Hunter finds Willow, he finds a powerful prospect for the coven.. and someone who has the confidence, freedom and affablility he lacks, while she just.. straight up kidnaps her future boyfriend because she needs him for the team and while getting better at socializing still hasn't grapsed kidnapping isn't okay. Unless it is on the boiling isles but given Amity's reaction to being kidnapped and spit out by a giant owl, i'm wagering it isn't.

Either way we get adorable chemistry, a new power team/couple in viney and skara, and puddles the griffin.

We also get Hunter.. not understanding he was horribly abused and nearly consinging his friends to a horrible fate, standing up for them finally earning said adults respect… which like.. Darius man you really need to apologize for a.. .lot of things, and some good hunter blushing. All in all a good day for all. Horay!

11. Hellspital (Close Enough)

"It's a known fact doctors have killed more people than Genghis Khan and Chaka Kahn combined!"

Sadly this is Close Enoughs final time on this list as it was one of MANY casulaties of "David Zaslav wanted 8 more dollars", though it's for now thankfully avaliable to buy on youtube if nothing else. Why JG Quintel wasn't absolutely devistated I don't know, but it went out on a high with season 3 being fairly good. It also, while keeping a mixed ballance, fixed the one issue I had with season 2: there wasn't enough Alex. And Even then I got they simply needed to spread things out more evenly, so I wans't mad but boy oh boy did my boy get a great season, ending with getting Bridgette back but involving having his soul stolen by George RR MArtin, dating an alien tentacle monster instructor and of course going to hell.

The road to hell is paved with Childhood Trauma as Alex , after a golf course injury and on an all chili diet because of course he is, refuses to see a doctor after his dad went to the hosptial and got a terrible diagoniss when alex was a teen. Our heroes do everything in their power to not let his dumb ass die, but he ends up running away and bonking his head, but not before tons of jokes including him being tricked into their trap of a viking timelord marathoon (the season does manage his sudden obession with vikings that cropped up in season 2 after one joke about him writing a viking novel ins eason 1 work a LOT better without dominating his character this go round), despite having alerts for such an event, and nothing about it making sense only figuring out midway. Which is still good fo rhim

After hitting his head he end sup in a HELLSPITAL…. which is nightmarish as you'd expect, and well done at that, but gets heartwarming when Alex's dad decesnds from heaven, played by Henry Motherfucking Winkler who thanks to being in the upcoming season of Vox Machina has a VERY good chance of making this list two years in a row, and we get Alex having some heartwarming father son bonding with axes.. as well as the reveal his dad was sick a long time but simply didn't want to know he was.. and by the time he did it was too late. It teaches alex a hard lesson: that ignoring a medical problem because of bad news.. won't make it go away and the people who love you need you. it does so with time axes, demons and jabs at our awful healthcare system, but also with love. And gas which is what alex has. Chilli and all that

[finniestoncrane]

Do u have like a ranking of the characters starting from your fav

oh gosh like as in the rogues (i hope so because that's what i'm doing now)??? i like a very specific set of rogues (although it gets bigger every day lmao) but you asked for it so i will not PUNISH YOU in ways you never even thought possible by rambling on for quite some time 💚 so anyway feel free to suggest new rogues to me or try to change my mind because i listed rogues i don't care for and ones i wanna fall in love with too u-u

ok let's start off nice and easy by saying i don't like catwoman. i find her hard to read, she's cold, she's mean and i she would make me cry. i hate her. and i also hate ra's al ghul god damn.

ANYWAY ON TO THE GOOD STUFF

Number One: The Riddler

my beloved disgusting green man 💚 there hasn't been a riddler i've met yet who i wouldn't kiss on the head and then fuck hard and long like i am obsessed with every iteration of him. you want me to rank them, i can't, but please know that arkham and capullo are up at the top fighting each other (shirtless, covered in oil, maybe kissing too i dunno, maybe not just shirtless either maybe we're talking just hanging dong, bouncing around all over the place, rubbing against each other I GOT SO DISTRACTED HOLY SHIT LMAO)

Number Two: The Penguin

just something about a silly little guy with a silly little smile and a silly little tummy that does it for me. this is very specific to farrell and gotham penguins but honestly, i've just finished reading one bad day and i'd fuck him too 💜

Number Three: Scarecrow

i want him so bad you don't even know, like i want jonathan crane to read me a book, then fuckin fear toxin me and then i want scarebeast to rail me sorry but i'm also not sorry. he also just seems like such a nice man which don't even come at me

Number Four: Two Face

such a handsome, handsome, charming, well-dressed man battling his inner (outer) demons like??? what more could you really ask for??? get you a man who can do both, be super smart and cutie and also absolutely unhinged and hot

Number Five: Harley Quinn

i struggled ranking ivy and harley but ultimately she's so cute and bubbly and fun and i want her to squish my cheeks and let me touch her butt, like i don't like margot robbie something about her bugs me but i still loved birds of prey, that's the lure of harley ;-;

Number Six: Poison Ivy

yeah yeah ivy is hot everyone knows it, yes cool eco-terrorism sure thing, but ok so also while we're here, fat ivy. fat ivy fat ivy fat ivy. i would sell my fucking organs to fill my grabby little hands with her body >:(

Number Seven: Victor Zsasz

love you chihuahua man u-u mostly gotham zsasz because he radiates mischief, just a cheeky lil guy, visiting his bub and getting ice cream with his pals, and he's so funny???

Number Eight: Victor Freeze

freeze gets to be ranked on my list PURELY because he's a mad scientist, he's nice to his wife (romantic what????) and MOSTLY because of that one shot of nathan darrows in gotham with the low-rise fucking trousers like good LORD in heaven the stranglehold that has on my clit you wouldn't believe

honourable mentions of rogues i kinda fuck with but not enough to rate or rank yet:

black mask, but absolutely the fuck not ewan mcgregor

mad hatter, i want to love you

joker, i hate him but i want to fuck him sometimes it's complicated

bane

professor pyg

hugo strange

solomon grundy

rogues i want to fuck with in future:

clock king

music meister

huntress

the creeper

batmite (what the fuck is he i love him???)

jeremiah arkham

flamingo

cluemaster

calendarman

firefly

hush

rogues i know but don't give a fuck about:

killer croc

manbat

clayface

killer moth

king shark (except i wanted to fuck him in assualt on arkham)

[mattmurdocksscars]

Hiiii it's me again, and congrats on the 2k, again! (love your writings btw).

I'll be asking a couple of questions, I'm annoying :3

1- FMK (Tristan Thorn, Matt Murdock, and Michael Kinsella) and why...

2- Are you an early bird or a late owl?

3- Dogs or Cats?

Aaaand, would you ship me with a Charlie character? I'd love to know which one would would fit me. (>ⲱ<)

Well, I'm 5'5.75 (167 cm), curly black hair (now is wine red), black coffee eyes (almond), heart shaped face, not skinny but not overweighted — in between, but I love it.

I'm an aquarius, my personality type is ENFJ-T, I'm a Weirdo™, an absolute idiot, always nervous about absolutely everything, I have a couple of mental issues (trust issues, anxiety, overthinking, you name it! The whole package) but, I love having people around me, I always need to be reminded that I'm worthy (my self-esteem is always at its lowest baby).

I love art, I love making art, I'm a music addict, I love writing (either poems or stories), I love the rain, winter, pasta, cakes, cinnamon, chocolate, hot cocoa, iced coffee, random espresso shots, ice cream. I have two demons (cats) and they're literally my children, I also have a little bird, I love animals so much, I wanted to be a vet, but now I'm a translator (wow the turntables!). I'm kinda house person, I like staying inside, I'm a night owl, but sometimes I love feeling the sun on my skin and going outside to meet some friends.

Who do you think is gonna be my boo? >¬<

In exchange, I think I would ship you with Tristan Thorn, he's a sweetheart like you and Idk, I think you're just a soft baby who deserves happiness <3

Congrats again, love ya! <3

Hello, love!

1. Fuck- Michael Kinsella. Listen. I know this man can give it good. He'd take such good care of me and that's what matters.

Marry- Matt Murdock. He's just my favorite. I can't deny it. I love Mikey and Tristan is adorable, but Matt has my heart.

Kiss- Tristan Thorne. He's just a little sweet baby. A cinnamon roll.

2. Neither. I am some form of permanently exhausted pigeon. 😂

3. Both! I can't really choose. I've had both all my life and I can't pick just one!

As for your ship, I could totally see you with Matt Murdock!

He's going to understand your anxieties because he has his own to contend with. He'll be super helpful at calming you down and helping you work through it. He'll love listening to you describe your art and even better if you let him run his hands over the finished product. He'd find your language abilities impressive. And finally your night owl tendencies would work in his favor since you'll probably still be awake when he comes home from patrols! He'll need the extra love and care you can provide.

Awe sweet baby Tristan. He's so cute, I wouldn't know what to do with him!