#and i'm fully of the opinion that people can do whatever the hell they like and i never expect interaction

[spllwys]

i'm going on exam season lockdown as of today, which means no more gifs/edits/anything else because i spend way too much time on them for an engineering student in the trenches lmao. posting this not because i think anybody will notice or care, but so i can hold myself accountable and get embarrassed if i break the pledge. see you on june 3rd for a ghovie creativity extravaganza

edit: besides the ghovie trailer 😭 i cant restrain myself from that one

[roguekhajiit]

A debate I had on Reddit about abortion rights.

The person I'm arguing with is an active participant of the Mensa subreddit, so they already fancy themselves a genius to some extent.

Me:

No arms, no legs, no heart, no brain. Just a blood vessel pumping blood from the host to the clump of cells.

And the "But there's a heartbeat" excuse is a lie. You're only hearing the host's blood pumping into cells cause the heart isn't fully formed until 10 weeks. Additionally, the brain isn't even fully developed until 24 weeks. No heart organ, no brain, it's not a viable life outside its host body.

Them:

Yeah that's an empirical argument to deny ontology. That's not convincing to anyone who thinks there is an essence to being human that isn't tied to having arms and legs.

Me:

I'm sorry, but are you trying to use philosophy to argue whether or not someone is capable of living without a heart, brain, and lungs?

Them:

How do you determine what is human and what is not? Arms and legs? What do you call someone without arms and legs? Or a mechanic heart? You can't answer the question 'what is human' based on physical qualities only. So yes, logically you cannot answer the question without philosophy.

Me:

I think you are confusing personhood with the human species.

A person is someone who can think, breathe, and exist on their own. They have a personality and their own opinions on subjects like abortion.

A human being or homo sapiens is a species on earth that evolved enough to form social groups and cultures and, therefore, are capable of personhood. Some other more complex animals might be capable of personhood, like Koko the Gorilla. She was intelligent, learned to communicate using sign language, and even had her own pet.

I'm not discussing this subject in terms of personhood. A fetus isn't developed enough to form a sense of personhood if it can't even survive on its own at 2 months gestation.

Them:

I'm talking about the essence of what makes one a living human. As long as pregnant women before the 3rd month believe they're carrying a child, which is all of them who want to *keep* the child, I am not appealed by the argument that it's suddenly no longer a child but rather a fetus for biological/scientific/empirical reasons when there are various financial and social advantages of it being so.

The points you mention are even still different from mine.

Me:

>The points you mention are even still different from mine.

Correct because again, you fail to see the point of the argument.

You yourself say;

>As long as pregnant women before the 3rd month believe they're carrying a child, which is all of them who want to *keep* the child,

That's all fine and dandy cause it's her *choice* to do so, not yours and not the government's. But it's not yours or anyone else's place to force your philosophical or religious views on an entire nation and bully us all into following them by making your opinions a law.

Them:

It's a choice to recognise a human as a human, you're saying? So where's the end to that travesty of logic? A cat is a dog, a man is a woman, that dog is a man and that man is a dog. That's a wild world you're living in. I don't see the world that way, it defeats both logic and common sense. But it surely makes a way to justify doing whatever the hell you like doing. I won't force morality on you, but I'll tell you when it's absent.

Me:

Again, you're trying to use philosophy to argue science, and that gets us nowhere. I already stated I'm not talking from a philosophical standpoint.

You can see the world however you want. Your morals aren't always going to line up with your neighbors morals. Your neighbor might think it's immoral to eat any kind of meat. Are you gonna give up that steak dinner cause they can smell it in their living room? How would you feel if the entire government decided eating meat is a crime and, therefore, it's banned and you go to jail just for eating a hamburger. Kinda sucks when other people force their philosophy and religion on you by passing laws to get their way.

Now I know you're gonna be like, "But you can't compare pregnancies to diets!" But you're already equating philosophy with science. So, let me give you another scenario.

Do you like eggs? Eggs are just undeveloped chickens who were denied the ability to develop and hatch. Will you give up your eggs and bacon just because your vegan neighbor says it's immoral?

Since to you personhood and human are one and the same. Say aliens decide to visit earth; they have arms and legs and a brain, can speak, express emotions, and have their own culture. Are they human? Do we give them the same rights as you and me even though they weren't born on earth and are basically invading our planet? Or are they just displaying personhood?

If you say yes, they are human and deserve the same rights as you and me, then you also need to give those same rights to the "illegal aliens" that cross the border.

Why are undeveloped fetuses given more rights to life than families with children who are trying to seek a better life? Why do we value a fetus over the actual baby? Once it's born, if the mother says she needs help, she's scorned and looked down on for asking for WIC, foodstamps, and cash benefits to help feed and cloth her baby. She should have thought of that before deciding to have a baby, right? But if she decides she's unable to afford a baby, and she can't afford to take time off because the pregnancy is making it hard for her to work, she's called a murderer for seeking an abortion.

To pro-life advocates, a fetus is more important before it's born than after it's born. And you won't convince me otherwise. The same people pushing for abortion bans, banning mifepristone (a drug that's also necessary to help with incomplete miscarriages), and even simple birth control are the same people who vote to cut funding to welfare programs, free lunch programs, and to entire school districts. That's not very pro-life of them now, is it?

-------

They gave up the argument after that.

I could have converted this into a rant solely from my perspective, but I felt it would be better just to copy it as a script.

Pro-lifers are not actually pro-life. They are just anti-women and anti-choice. If they actually cared about the fetus, they would care about it after its born by passing laws and regulations that would ensure the child has the best quality of life possible and every chance to succeed. Instead, time and again, they vote against those laws.

They don't care about the fetus once it's born. Why is that? Could it be that their true goal all along is to force women back into submission because they romanticize the bygone era of the 1800s and early 1900s when women didn't hold jobs, didn't vote, and couldn't do anything without their husband's explicit permission?

I dunno, that's just the vibe I get from the anti-choice supporters. Why else would they say things like, "Stop riding dick if you can't take accountability." But then start foaming at the mouth when you remind them accountability goes both ways. When's the last time they made a child support payment?

[keikakudom]

I'm invested with your RR AU!! Love their designs!!

I have a question regarding Charlie. We know that she doesn't trust Vox fully but does she think she can still redeem Vox? Does Charlie push Vox to try her therapy sessions or she's just neutral with him and lets him do whatever he wants?

Oh, this is such a fun question! Thank you for the kind words and asking this question!

Of course - Charlie still thinks everybody can be redeemed, with enough elbow grease. Her faithful, if not banal, hotelier with asshole tendencies is no exception!

She knows Vox has no interest in redemption, isn't required to do anything aside from his resort/hotel duties, and is usually very busy, so Charlie tries not to push too much and annoy him....but. She does ask him every now and then on very important activities that she tried her very best on designing. Not to mention it would just be very helpful for Charlie's study in redemption to know the opinion(and unravel the psyche) of the super-duper powerful and evil overlord she works alongside at her disposal!

Aaaanyway. Most of the time, Vox declines. He has better things to do and wants to stay in Hell, after all.

(Unless Charlie makes a face like this. Because c'mon it's Vox, even he surely can't be that cruel!! /j)

But if he's having a shitty day, doesn't want to deal with the bajillion urgent tasks that need his attention, and the conditions are just right....he might agree. Once in a blue moon. Vox says he's there just to "supervise" the process, because he needs to make sure there's actually progress being done on his "product". Redemption exercise or not, sometimes he likes to tag along as a de-stressor, even if he doesn't participate himself.

Additionally, Vox in general has a hard time saying 'no' to Charlie. The success of his great plan rides on winning Charlie's trust and favor. Very people-pleaser of him.

And, because apparently I can't go a post related to this AU without mentioning them:

Vox isn't really able to "do whatever he wants" because he wants to be in Charlie's good graces. This results in him being very sus and overall fake as hell around Charlie/in general, always covering up what he might be working on at the moment. When I mean Vox took over all the managerial aspects of the resort-- I mean it. It's totally hands-off for Charlie, and in many ways, she's ignorant to what sinister things might be happening in her very resort. Welp. And by "sinister things", I mean the Vees. Yes, they're involved in supporting the resort too! In a very underground way. Cordyceps....

[ordinaryschmuck]

So, I finally watched Hazbin Hotel...

Weird, given how I talked about it a bunch. Heck, one of my top rated posts at the moment is my interpretation regarding the fear in Alastor's eyes during his breakdown. But despite having opinions on Hazbin Hotel, I've never really checked the show out, especially as it was coming out. I was kind of waiting for all episodes to get released so I could binge it all in one sitting, but I kept pushing that off until TODAY, and...I have thoughts.

Pros:

Love the animation of the show. Every praise I could give animation is present, with each character being incredibly expressive, their movements fluid, and the animators know when to be stiff for comedic scenes and giving their all for the big musical numbers or action.

I also love the way these characters look. I hear people complain about how overdesigned everything is, and that's valid. I would NOT want to animate this show due to every detail that I'd have to keep track of. But...if we can still praise Spider-Verse despite the animators being under torturous conditions as they make every frame a work of art, we can give the animators the same pat on the back here for making this show look as good as it is. Besides, a few years ago we had people complaining how every western cartoon looks the same. Now we have a show that's the most visually distinct than a lot of animated series coming out today and now we're complaining about that? I'm a man who admires effort more than anything, and while I agree that simpler is better with televised animation, I'm still proud that the animators pulled through in this.

The songs are all great, with personal favorites being "Loser, Baby," "Hell's Greatest Dad," "Stayed Gone," "Hell is Forever," and "You Didn't Know." The weakest one is probably "Whatever it Takes," but it's not really BAD, not me. Just not as strong as the others. I dug this soundtrack and it was the main thing that suck me into this show.

Charlie, as a protagonist, is pretty strong. I love the irony of the daughter of Hell is the nicest person in existence and her frustrations in making the Hazbin Hotel a success a delight because you WANT her to succeed as much as everyone else does. Plus, where most adult comedies make their protagonists cynical a-holes, it's a nice change of pace to have a hopeful one that apologizes as she's fighting people. Love it.

Angel Dust is easy to root for. What he goes through with Valentino is...something that someone like me can't fully grasp and understand, let alone judge. But I personally feel like it does the job to show the tragedy that this character goes through and allows you to root for him to get better.

And I like that Husk is right there to support Angel Dust, being a sort of conscience to protect him despite how much Angel gets on Husk's nerves. I also dig that they grow closer together, treating each other with mutual respect and admiration. It's sweet and I hope things turn out well for these two. Plus, he's voiced by Kieth David. The man can't do wrong.

Nifty is the funniest character in the show, and I will hear no disagreements about it.

Sir Pentious is a lovable loser who's the second funniest character. He reminds me of Papyrus from Undertale, trying so hard to prove that he's strong and powerful only to hilariously fail at every turn. You really root for the guy to get better and feel grateful that he finds happiness in a way I'm not sure anyone could have expected.

Rosie only appeared in one episode, and she's already my favorite. The gal's chipper and supportive towards Charlie, to the point where I completely forgot that she was a cannibal overlord who killed her partner to take full control of the business. Again, I love the irony of characters like this.

Lucifer was more fun than expected. I thought he'd be Mr. Serious, but he's just as bombastic and fun-loving as Charlie and Jeremy Jordan sounds like he's having the time of his life being this character to the point where it's addicting.

Vox has the potential to be a great antagonist and it's a crime that he only has ONE episode with relevance. Hoping he gets more in the future.

And Alastor. I love the concept of a character always smiling with the only thing betraying him are his eyes. As someone who takes joy in facial expressions, I always have a great time trying to analyze a character's restrictions and seeing how they emote, especially when animators and artists utilize a character's eyes to do most of the talking. That's done here in spades, making Alastor more interesting of an evil character as he keeps people guessing with his devious smile, not even dropping it when he's having a mental breakdown.

All and all, I can see how this show can draw in an audience...BUT...

Cons:

The comedy misses more than it hits. The funniest stuff comes from Nifty and Sir Pentious, but other than that, I don't really laugh much with this show. The dramatic moments work decently enough, so that's a pro, but when it's trying to make you laugh, it crumbles for the most part.

The constant swearing does get on one's nerves a bit. Dialogue, more than anything, depends on character. And to have EVERYONE swear almost consistently feels like a misstep. Because if everyone shares a similar level of lingo, then how can you differentiate a character's line on paper. Plus, I feel like it cheapens certain character. Saint Peter, the man who greets you at the pearly gates, shouldn't be another character that goes, "Oh, shit" when him going "Oh, shucks" speaks more about who is compared to everyone else and gives a glimpse into how different Heaven is from Hell.

The dialogue also hurts a character like Adam too. I want to buy that he's Earth's first man, but having him talk like a douchebag rockstar kind of takes me out of it a bit. Like, the way he talks doesn't sound like how the first human being should sound. He sounds like a guy who died in the late eighties, which SHOULD be funny but it's too distracting too much of the time when a character who talks like an old man who's ignorant to modern thinking could have had so much to say about what Heaven deems as worthy to be up above. They nailed the ignorance, but had him speak it in a way that doesn't fit humanity's first man. Maybe less "Call me Dickmaster" and more more "Call me Sir."

Vaggie...is FINE, I guess? But her character faces the same problems as Millie in Helluva Boss, where most of her personality and character is dependent on the relationship she has with another.

I'm also not a fan of Chaggie. I'm sorry. I'm in love with the ship dynamic of the stern, responsible one paired with the bubbly optimist. Heck, I'm a Lumity shipper because of it. But Chaggie just...WHELMS me. I don't hate them together but I'm not foaming at the mouth with each cute scene they share either. Honestly, I ship Charlie more with Emily than I do Vaggie, which...sucks for Vaggie, I guess. But Emily deserves love in her life too, dammit.

And the pacing for this season really is bad. I don't think the problem with this show is that it had eight episodes. Less is more is a phrase for a reason and we don't need twenty episode long seasons for EVERY show. I prefer it, don't get me wrong. Allows characters the a chance to breath and allows the story to take its time more. But what kills Hazbin Hotel's first season is that it feels like a three-season long story just got wrapped up into ONE. I'm sure there's more plans with Heaven, the Vees, and especially Lilith, but to have the season end with the next extermination feels like Avatar ending its first season with Souzin's Comet. There's so much the characters need to do and prepare for in so little time, ending a status quo shaking event, that I feel like a smarter idea would have been splitting this season's story line up into three parts. I mean, unless the cast and crew didn't know ahead of time that they'd only get eight episodes a season, why not have a little faith that they could have split the story up better? Because otherwise, it makes the show feel like it went by way too quickly. Eight episodes isn't a problem, but how they use those eight episodes DO.

So, while I can absolutely see why Hazbin Hotel could have its fans, I can also see how it can put people off. The style and characters work well enough, but the dialogue, jokes, and story need much more polish. It's not the worst, but not the best either. I hope things improve in Season Two and that the show itself can redeem ITSELF in the future.

[spirit-of-a-kiger]

Am I the only one who hates Jax?

Don't get me wrong, people are absolutely allowed to like him! Hell, I even fully understand why they do; it's really just an objective fact that that buck is attractive and was doomed to become a Tumblr sexyman from the start.

That being said, just how universal that is... makes me feel kind of alone? And I really need to vent.

(Jax lovers, if you're reading this, you probably should step away at this point. And I don't mean that in a judgmental way, not even slightly. Just... for both of our sakes. I'm very unabashed in this post.)

I keep seeing people try to find some goodness in him. And that's fine! They're allowed to speculate! But honestly, like 95% of points I've seen for this argument are a pretty big stretch. I get tempted to reply as such, but I resist it because I know I would end up snapping at them if I did, and snapping at someone over a cartoon is never okay.

I hate Jax. I hate him so, so much. I genuinely, truly hope that he abstracts. The sooner, the better. Just get him out of the picture.

I don't even care about his backstory or trauma or whatever. I really think that if they try to make me feel sorry for him at this point, my response is just gonna be "'k".

It doesn't help that he has so much screentime. It makes sense if you think about it, as he is the creator's favorite character, but it really doesn't help my opinion of him.

Everything Jax does pisses me off. Literally every waking moment, he hurts somebody for absolutely no reason. And no one can stop him. He even continues to mess with Zooble - you know, the person who literally strangled him the last time he was a butt to them.

I genuinely believe that among all the other issues that would come from being trapped in the Digital Circus, being stuck with Jax every day for the rest of your life is at least in the top 3 worst. I honestly can't even imagine how horrible that would be. Like, if it were me, I would try my darnedest to shred him to pieces every time he so much as looked at me funny, but again, Zooble tried that, and all it did was repel him temporarily. Even Ragatha has pretty much given up at this point, not bothering to stick up for Gangle when Jax was bullying her while she was driving because Ragatha knew (probably from experience) that there was nothing that could be done about it.

So, yeah. This isn't entirely organized, but it's not entirely disorganized, either. I just needed to get it out of my system. It's not as good as talking, I'm finding, but it's better to do it through text than not at all. I'm not sure if I got 100% of it out, so I'll just edit or reblog or something if something new comes to mind.

[tossawary]

Hi,.....if you don't mind me asking, can I ask your top 5 (or top 3) favorite characters from SVSSS? And why do you love them? And your top 5 favorite moments from the novel? Sorry if you've answered this question before....Thanks....

Hi! Thank you for asking! I can use this to reflect on my SVSSS reread some more and mention some things I didn’t bring up in my other posts. I don't think I've ever explicitly rounded these things up into a list, so this is a fun thing to think about while I've run out of work and my supervisor isn't messaging me back. I'll try to focus on just the main story of SVSSS, because I haven't reread Volume 4 yet, and if my opinions change after reading the extras collection, then I'll come back and say so.

Long post ahead! Favorite characters and scenes!

Favorite characters:

Shen Yuan! I can't remember where I would have ranked him the first time I read SVSSS, but I always liked him just fine, and I've found a new love for him with the reread, being reminded of just how funny he is and how asexual he seems! He also just wants to be nice to people. I enjoy how much he enjoys food and reading and just chilling out chatting to people. He enjoys life! He fucks up several times, quite badly, but he's not unreasonable for assuming that Binghe would want to kill him, and I think it's compelling how the sheer overwhelming panic of his impossible situation wouldn't let him take a step back from the fast-paced nonsense he's forced to go through that often isn't his fault.

Luo Binghe! He's one of the main characters and he's such a sweetheart, when he also isn't a murderous emotional wreck or cold bastard, which is just fun to read about. Despite everything (being pushed into hell, being possessed by an evil sword, watching his teacher self-destruct and blaming himself for it, being able to take the world on a bloodied silver platter and then getting his ass kicked by his birth father), I feel like he turned out surprisingly well! I like how he just wants to dote on Shen Qingqiu and be doted on. He is trying SO hard to communicate with someone who keeps running away from him, but he doesn't know how. Crybaby demon emperor who abandoned having a harem in order to chase just one guy is still funny.

Getting to side characters... I like pretty much all of them! A lot of them are pretty evenly ranked for me, even though I like them all for different reasons.

Shang Qinghua probably has to take the top spot of side characters here, partly because I am deeply influenced by the Airplane Extras and all the fanfiction I've written for him, but also because I still think he has such a fascinating position as the author of this world and story, and he's such an irreverent ass to Shen Qingqiu at the same time that he does occasionally go through significant effort to help him out. His conversations with Shen Qingqiu are extremely funny. I'm glad that Shen Qingqiu has someone who knows about the truth of his background. Whatever the fuck is going on with him and Mobei-Jun in the background is funny and I fully understand why people read only the main story and then go, “WHY THE FUCK ARE SO MANY PEOPLE FIXATING ON THEM??? MOBEI-JUN HAS LIKE TEN LINES OF DIALOGUE!!!”

Then... uh... I don't know. I guess I'll put Tianlang-Jun and Zhuzhi-Lang next, together as a pair. They're both so eccentric and charismatic, although in very different ways, and I enjoy them as villains. They kill SO MANY people and do NOT care. Zhuzhi-Lang in particular has the weirdest fucking morals and I dig how he’s clearly a person but also very much NOT HUMAN. They're both very funny in the jokes they make and in the scenes they're in. Their backstories and fates are also terribly sad. Tianlang-Jun having the truth of Su Xiyan’s death revealed to him is a little heartbreaking even if he’s an ass. I like how powerful they are and how they weren't a part of the PIDW published story, so they can blindside Shen Qingqiu and mess everything up.

The character I was struck by the most on this reread was Gongyi Xiao, so I'll put him next. Though I do like Liu Mingyan, Sha Hualing, Yue Qingyuan, and Liu Qingge. Hmm, maybe I'll tie him with Sha Hualing for this particular reread.

Gongyi Xiao was good because of how genuinely good he's trying to be, despite the fact that he's stuck as a part of Huan Hua Palace, with a Palace Master and a Little Palace Mistress who seem worse than useless. He's trying his best to keep things civil and avoid falling into mob mentality. He spares Zhuzhi-Lang when Shen Qingqiu points out the demon hasn't done anything, so he's willing to view demons as not being entirely evil, and then he gets tragically killed off when Zhuzhi-Lang decides to mark him as an enemy and he's just in the wrong place at the wrong time. He helps Shen Qingqiu escape the Water Prison because he thinks the man is being sexually and physically abused by the new head disciple, Luo Binghe. I also like the jealousy he can invoke in Luo Binghe and I think there's an interesting potential connection to Su Xiyan, which also has cool fic potential.

Sha Hualing was good because she's just so obnoxious and dangerous and at the same time a little pathetic. I mean, I still wish that SVSSS did a little more with their female characters, because even if some of them have interesting personality quirks, they're a little flat and don't have much power over the plot. But Sha Hualing does at least have a hand in launching a few important events and scenes, pretty much because she likes causing trouble and has great ambition, even if she keeps getting her ass kicked. I like the fact that she apparently backstabbed her father, because that couldn't have just been because of Luo Binghe. I like the fact that Liu Mingyan's face apparently left her speechless. I like the fact that she keeps losing the fucking top of her stupid skimpy outfit and flashes her breasts several times and still won't change it. It's just for comedy, I know, but I can still use it to build up my vision of a horrible little gremlin woman who wants to conquer the world but has gotten stuck with a shitty boss, and maybe doesn't so much want to conquer the world as she wants to be fawned over and start shit.

Favorite moments from the main story:

This is also kind of hard to decide, because there are a lot of good moments, and they're good for lots of different reasons. It's difficult to rank comedic moments against tragic ones against action scenes against the more sentimental moments. And I'm obviously not able to rank objective quality when tastes are so subjective. So this list won't actually be properly ranked and will be more a little random as I struggle to remember particularly striking moments, focusing more on genuine sentiment than the comedy.

Just before the Immortal Alliance Conference, when Binghe is 17 and recently returned from a mission, and Shen Qingqiu asks him what he would be willing to go through in order to be strong.

I like this sequence because it shows off the level of affection between Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghe. It shows off how Luo Binghe has flourished under a teacher who cares (and we know that Binghe has been training as a demon for the past few years as well, so there’s some intrigue going on) and introduces us to the Zheng Yang sword. It shows us how much Shen Qingqiu trusted Binghe with as his head disciple, when he's just leaving admin work to Binghe without needing to look it over, and how Binghe is kind of a workaholic (due to his desire to prove himself worthy) and how Shen Qingqiu is so laidback and content when he's allowed control over his own life. There are lots of soft moments in these scenes. There are some funny moments.

We learn that Shen Qingqiu has resolved to distance himself from the protagonist, so that pushing him into the Abyss will hurt less, and then he keeps failing because he can't help but praise and reward Luo Binghe for his efforts. It shows off Shen Qingqiu's dread over the Endless Abyss. How much he doesn't want to hurt Binghe but how he's convincing himself that it's necessary for the protagonist's development. It shows off the compartmentalization that Shen Qingqiu is doing. And yet Shen Qingqiu can't help but try and prepare Binghe in some way, and it's fascinating to imagine what Binghe must have been thinking in that moment and after that moment.

There's a lot of fascinating character and relationship stuff being done in these few scenes, compelling our attachment to them by showing their affection, and upping the tension by showing Shen Qingqiu's dread.

Mobei-Jun and Shang Qinghua's first appearances, in the middle of an Immortal Alliance Conference going terribly wrong. Yes, I'm pushing their introductions together.

Look, I'm biased towards these two, and maybe the scenes rise above the others partly with the benefit of hindsight, but that's fine! Shang Qinghua is striking from the get-go if only because of his apparent cheerfulness in the middle of a horrific invasion, after we’ve just witnessed several disturbing and violent disciple deaths, and Shen Qingqiu reveals him to be the logistics lord of Cang Qiong and a spy. And THEN MOBEI-JUN APPEARS, an ice-cold badass from the get-go, the protagonist’s future right-hand man showing up five hundred chapters early to open the Endless Abyss! He gets a kickass fight scene first with Shen Qingqiu, then with Luo Binghe, wrecks Luo Binghe’s life, and then leaves because...??? He’s interested to see where this goes? He’s bored? He’s decided that he’s started enough shit? He’s a total wildcard. We have seen so much horrific violence and death here, and it is squarely Shang Qinghua and Mobei-Jun’s fault! They’re both such villains! It’s very fun.

These scenes are also fun because of the worldbuilding they do for the PIDW story (Luo Binghe’s future as Demon Emperor), the monsters, the Demon Realm, Cang Qiong Mountain Sect, and the cultivation world in general. They also launch Shen Qingqiu’s relationship with his fellow transmigrator, which is one of my favorite relationships in the story, even if Shen Qingqiu only tells us that he’s realized Shang Qinghua is a transmigrator after the story is over.

Yue Qingyuan revealing his full history with Shen Jiu and apologizing to Shen Qingqiu (Shen Yuan), who makes it clear to Yue Qingyuan that he’s not angry but gently puts some distance between them, because the person who should hear this is no longer present.

The Yue Qi and Shen Jiu story is a very sad one. I like how these reveals recontextualize Shen Qingqiu’s relationship with Yue Qingyuan. I like how it’s revealed to us that the Xuan Su sword saps away Yue Qingyuan’s lifeforce, that he damaged his own soul trying to save Shen Jiu, and that he was imprisoned in the Lingxi Caves. It’s all very compelling and tugs at the heartstrings. It feels rewarding to me to get this backstory. And Yue Qingyuan is apparently possibly dying at the time that he reveals all of this to Shen Qingqiu.

And for all the trouble that Shen Qingqiu (Shen Yuan) has caused Yue Qingyuan by his miscommunication and flailing around trying not to die, I think that he handles this incredible difficult situation pretty well despite the intense pressure that they’re all under. (The Demon and Human Realms are merging! Cang Qiong Mountain Sect is set to merge with the Endless Abyss!) Shen Yuan is sad that Shen Jiu can’t hear this. He very obviously pretends that he didn’t hear any of this, essentially telling Yue Qingyuan that he will have to live if he want to talk about this later, so don’t die, Yue Qingyuan! He makes it clear that he’s no longer angry at the same time that sort of... rebuffs Yue Qingyuan’s attempts to treat him as Shen Jiu? He makes it clear that their relationship will never be that intimate again, even if he has no hard feelings.

Because Shen Yuan feels like if anyone should be hearing this and offering forgiveness, then it should be Shen Jiu, and that it’s not his place to step forward and take over that particular relationship speaking for Shen Jiu. He’s pretty graceful about it. He took over someone else’s life and he can’t tell anyone (at least that’s how I’ve interpreted it, and I don’t blame Shen Yuan for not testing his luck against a System that has spent the past few years threatening to kill him if he doesn’t perform adequately to its standards, doing things he doesn’t want to do, in extremely high pressure situations). And Yue Qingyuan has to accept this rebuff gracefully as well.

Shen Qingqiu carrying and protecting an unconscious Luo Binghe in the Holy Mausoleum, fighting against the last-breath candles and blind corpses, then fighting against Qiu Haitang and the Palace Master.

It’s kind of funny to reach the point where Shen Qingqiu stops running away from Luo Binghe, because despite the cold shoulders and the miscommunication and the previous trust in the protagonist halo, Shen Qingqiu just can’t bear to let Luo Binghe die. He can’t bring himself to risk it. He’s so aghast at Tianlang-Jun for not giving a shit about his son. He kind of even seems angry about it.

I like the worldbuilding done in the Holy Mausoleum, even if parts of it are a little confusing to me. I enjoy a lot of the traps in this particular dungeon. I think that the last-breath candles are enchanting little creatures. I think that paring them with the blind corpses makes for an interesting threat and a compelling series of horror scenes. I think the state that the Old Palace Master and Qiu Haitang is pretty freaky in a fascinating way. I think that the Old Palace Master’s death at the hand of those little plants attracted to spiritual energy is disturbing, and that it was a clever move on Shen Qingqiu’s part to get the man to kill himself.

And the scene of Shen Qingqiu kissing Luo Binghe’s forehead in the coffin, in order to hide the light of his demon mark, is pretty striking.

Shen Qingqiu’s confrontation with Luo Binghe in the Water Prison and then escaping the Water Prison with Gongyi Xiao.

This is where we get even more insight into Luo Binghe’s post-Abyss mindset and I think it’s where we get the first bit of real insight into Luo Binghe’s difficulties with the Xin Mo sword. His conversation with Shen Qingqiu is frustrating and alarming, because Shen Qingqiu just won’t talk and Luo Binghe is angry even if he doesn’t want to kill Shen Qingqiu. There’s intrigue with how Luo Binghe became the new head disciple of Huan Hua Palace. There’s intrigue with how Shen Qingqiu intends to get out of this and how the Sun-Moon Dew Mushroom will be involved in his escape. On one hand, I don’t want Shen Qingqiu to stick around and die and it would be fun to see him in a plant body, but on the other hand, I do think Luo Binghe deserves some explanation.

And then the whole thing with Shen Qingqiu losing his clothes because of the Little Palace Mistress’ whip and Luo Binghe offering his outer robe, which is funny as hell. Because Luo Binghe is hot for his teacher and then angry that Shen Qingqiu won’t even accept this much from him. And Shen Qingqiu is thinking, “Hey, this is the robe Luo Binghe would offer to his love interests after having sex with him. I can’t possibly put this on??? It’s inappropriate.”

Which leads to Gongyi Xiao assuming that Shen Qingqiu is being physically (yes) and sexually (no) abused by Luo Binghe (no), and breaking Shen Qingqiu out of the Water Prison. Because he’s a good boy!

I definitely chose those scenes pretty randomly, but they’re scenes I liked! I don’t know if I can rank things in a definitive order.

Honorable mention to the stuff in Jin Lan City, which is also all fun. It’s very compelling and disturbing and intriguing. And meeting Master Wu Chen in Jin Lan City, who has lost his legs from like the knee-down due to the plague. When we meet Master Wu Chen again later in the series, when the sects are meeting to discuss what the fuck to do about Tianlang-Jun, Master Wu Chen has prosthetic legs now! That’s cool! After all the action at Maigu Ridge is over, Master Wu Chen (who is the one who helped Su Xiyan) helps take Tianlang-Jun back to Zhao Hua Monastery to help him with his broken plant body! Where’s my Wu Chen / Tianlang-Jun rarepair, huh? They’re at the very least bros.

Anyway, this has been fun! Thanks!

[wannaeatramyeon]

Hi~ I just wanna ask you, how do you think/feel about Eli & Heather's relationship and their 'history'? Like some people said that Heather took advantage of Eli's innocence, some people said that it was Eli's mistake.

Ok anon. I have my thoughts but I reread the arc just to try and articulate them better. Fucking forgot Darius Hong was in this. And no one needs more Darius Hong in their life. Anyway.

Eli Jang/Heather Relationship rambles

In this essay...

Damn. This is rough. Please note I may be the least well informed person to give my thoughts on this. Happy for anyone to disagree.

Sigh. I think a lot of times we think of things in black and white, whereas almost everything is in shades of grey.

Eli Jang & Heather's background

First off, Eli has experienced a lot of trauma when he was first introduced, and clearly going through a lot mentally. He's also stunted in a lot of ways and 'deprived of an education'. Literally everything that he has known was abuse. Ran away from home at the age of 10. And whatever fucked up shit was going on with Tom Lee too.

I cannot stress how clear all of this is.

With Heather, the only real thing we know about her is she's 15. Both parents lawyers and very overbearing.

Eli Jang's 'recovery' from trauma

But by chapter 237: Eli Jang (6) a month passes and they have both met. Eli, from how he is portrayed, has already improved a lot. Healed a lot. Not fully. I think we need to remember that the passing of time and progression differs massively in Lookism than in real life.

If this was real life, nope. Lookism, ehhhh. Literally please suspend your belief.

This is in part a big reason why I don't blame Heather for her actions that night.

The huge fucking question mark over consent

I can also never fully agree with anyone saying that Heather groomed Eli. To me, she acts very much like a 15 year old girl with a crush. Less nefarious than what grooming implies. Could she have been better informed and set boundaries? Hell yeah.

From what we can see in the panels, Eli reciprocates her feelings. Sure there might be other things going on, but if there were insidious intentions I feel like PTJ would show it more front and center.

To me, looking at the storyline and art, it just feels like 2 people with a crush.

At the same time, if we apply real life morals to this, then yeah it's all pretty messed up. This isn't real life though.

(Sex education is a whole other kettle of fish I don't want to get into. Where I'm from, we have free contraceptives, free medical care, sex education. But oops, teenage pregnancies still happen an awful lot.)

Here's where people might disagree because I'm giving consent to people on their behalf - though we're talking about fictional characters here and all we can do is speculate.

My opinions on this are:

If we ask Heather if she believed Eli consented that night, she would fully believe so.

Similarly at the time, Eli would probably say yes he did.

I have little reason shown by PTJ to doubt that he would withdraw his consent present day as well.

As for Eli's mistake?

Uhh. Assuming they are both able to consent, and let's just say yes for the sake of simplicity, then I don't see how the night together is his mistake?

The whole mess afterwards and the poor communication and martyr thing going on I would say is his mostly his fault. Yes, he has his reasons for it. Two things can still be true.

And fucking Olly Wang.

But Heather was right there. Eli could have cleared the air with her. Said wtf I didn't message you those but he didn't.

Heather lashed out, which I think is a very human response to her situation and the sudden insane amount of pressure placed on her shoulders, however unfair her words are. She didn't have the full story though, whereas Eli did.

So like I said, I place more of the ownership of this situation on Eli even though I can also see where it all stems from.

In Summary

This goes back to what I said before about there are so many shades of grey, and this situation and relationship is absolutely not black and white. To me, anyway.

We can also imply all we want with things happening off-screen during any of the arcs though it's better to stick with what we can see or clearly read between the lines.

Taking in my thoughts above, honestly? I just think it's a tragic story about 2 kids that had unprotected sex one night and then it fucking spiralled. I don't see the blame lying with either one for their actions. Based on my reasons above.

This situation feels too nuanced here for me to say yeah Heather fucked up or Eli fucked up because there are so many details at play here, mostly to do with Eli Jang's background but also to do with the pacing of time and recovery in PTJ-verse.

TL;DR: No-one sucks here. Too many nuances. Sad af situation.

[fuck-customers]

I figured I'd talk about it anyways since I'm here, hey, it's the person who went on the big long rant with housekeeping and the supervisor drama with D and all that shit. I'm here to talk about the borderline p*do we have on staff that no one is doing jack shit about :)

so first thing, Blondie has been caught staring at people's asses all the time. again, specifically the group of housekeepers who are 18-21. I don't know Blondie's actual age, but he's like. in his 40s via his appearance. not the kind of man who should be staring at recent high school graduates. he does this to a lot of people.

(side note: we have two housekeepers with the same name, so I call one Tiny and one Weekend to keep them straight in my head) (same reason i'm calling him Blondie. also because i need some fake thing to call them here)

so Tiny T was running too. Running, i didn't get into in my other ask, is basically taking those big blue carts, and grabbing trash and linen from the hallways, and taking them where they need to go, either laundry or the dumpster outside. So Tiny T was doing a run of linen, and Blondie was like, oh i'll help, because, as i'm sure you can assume by the nickname i'm calling her, she doesn't look strong, and she really isn't. she BEGRUDGINGLY accepts, because what else are you gonna do, and two incidents come from this.

One, Tiny T heard him using voice-to-text to text someone on the phone. whatever, it happens, weird to do at work, but rolls my eyes gets over it. except, what he said, and she quoted it to me, so i'm quoting it here, was "I'm so happy we're together, but you can't tell your mom."

uhm. if you know anything about grooming, that gives you MAJOR pause, because that's some textbook shit right there. voms in my mouth. shudders. but. it's technically out of work, out of our hands, we don't even know who he was talking to, maybe it is a fully grown woman with a shitty mom, who knows, we don't, major side eye and we move on.

then, when they take the linen down and sort it into the tubs for washing, they find a used condom at the bottom of the blue cart. gross, but not uncommon in hotels. he looks at this, then looks at Tiny T (an adult women with a boyfriend, who he KNOWS) and says 'that's for men to use... did you know that? ... haven't used one in ten years...'

fucking EXCUSE ME ??? EX-FUCKING-CUSE ME ???? i'm so fucking sick thinking about it and it didn't even happen to me, it happened to my work friend, i'm SICK. but the next thing here is Worse in my opinion.

A thing about runners that is important to know is that they don't generally go into the rooms, they just grab what's in the halls. when I ran, I would pop into rooms to ask if they needed help stripping a room, but other than that, I wouldn't. they also don't take those blue carts into any room. there's no reason to, it gets in the way, and just. no.

housekeepers also need to keep their doors open, at the VERY least with the latch to the door (forgot the name, the weird thing at the top, secondary lock thing) keeping the door open.

so my coworker P is like, digging under the couch since she saw some trash under there when she hears a noise. So, she sits up to look over the counter of the kitchen to see what that noise was. And it is Blondie. In her room. with the blue cart. and the door SHUT. all the way shut.

nothing came of this, but imagine if she hadn't heard that click. if her music was any louder. it makes me fucking SICK to think about that.

so what does she do ? she goes to Manager, who is both Housekeeping Manager, and part of HR now. she should help right ??

except nothing has been done. he still works here. he still runs. he still has access to the girls. and NOTHING has been done.

i'm encouraging P to come with me to get her the HELL out of this environment, as she's really the main one who he focuses all his gross attention on, but. you can see why we feel uncomfortable with talking to this manager without J by our side, when she literally hasn't done anything to help with something this serious.

i'm so sick of this job tbh. i'm so sick of it. so glad i'm leaving relatively soon honestly :/

Posted by admin Rodney.

[strawberryfairi]

Synopsis✨: The story of how you catch heavy feelings for the hot photography student, Shuji Hanma…even though you already have the perfect (fake) boyfriend.

Pairings: Photography Student! Shuji Hanma X Dance Major! Black Fem 🤎 Reader (ANYONE CAN READ🧚🏾‍♀️) Content: Drama, angst, sneaking link, lots of cheating, some dark moments, unserious Shuji, controlling parents, forced relationships, romance, fighting, porn with a good plot vibes, intense sexual tension, etc (just find out the rest lol)

w.c: 4.4k💠 Released: Jan 5, 2024

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2; NO FILTER 无滤镜

By the time you made it to the party, it had already been going on for an hour and a half. You were so over it at this point. You'd forgotten to even change out of your outfit when you got to the dorm so you're standing out front of this party in straight up sweatpants over your dance costume and basic all white air forces. At least you were serving face with your makeup look.

The music is blasting, and there's folks all over both outside and inside. The frat house is huge, a popular spot seeing as the parties here are always the best...and the wildest. There's always plenty of juicy stories after a night at the frat house.

When you walk inside you immediately start looking around for familiar faces. It was jam packed, making you slightly scrunch your face as you weave through the multitude of people. You searched around the first floor, looking through the dance floor in the living room, the halls where mostly people were kissing or whatever, then you finally find Ken in the kitchen area.

You abruptly stop, just as you were about to call out to him, noticing him and a few other guys from the team all being crowded around by a bunch of girls. Mostly cheerleader girls and their groupie friends to be exact.

Ken had one hand leaning on the counter next to some girl, basically caging her in as the other hand poured some Vodka into her mouth, cheering her on along with everyone else. Your heart dropped, face heating up rapidly as a mix of confusion, anger, and embarrassment seeped through you. What the hell was going on here?!

It also doesn't go unnoticed that some of the other guys on the team definitely have their arms around the waists of girls that were not their girlfriends.

Then after she finishes downing what he poured, she leans her head back upright, then randomly pulls him into a sloppy, open-mouthed kiss. You gasp eyes going wide. You're only frozen for a few seconds before you storm fully into the kitchen. In your opinion it took Ken a little too long to finally come to his senses, pulling away from the kiss with his eyes widened in shock just as he sees you coming over angrily.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" You yell, pushing past everyone to stand directly in front of the two.

"Oh shit..." He mumbles under his breath.

"Hello?! Why's it quiet now?! I just asked you a question!" You outburst, snapping your fingers in front of their faces. This girl was vaguely familiar to you, but your mind was really in no condition to try and figure out where right now. She was a brunette, long haired girl with a butterfly tattoo sat right between her breasts. Of course she wore the perfect top to show it off.

"You didn't answer any of my texts. I thought you weren't even here." He says randomly. What the hell does that have to do with a whole other ass chick's lips on him?!

"I was still at the stadium before you left me. Why didn't you wait for me like you said?" You grit out.

Awkwardly, the girl slips her way passed the two of you, going over to where everyone else had also awkwardly migrated to. "The guys were rushing me, I didn't wanna hold them up-

"So you leave your girlfriend instead?! I had to walk all the way back to the dorms then Uber here, Ken! You were supposed to be my ride!" You rant.

"Hey hey, lower your damn voice." He narrows his eyes, tone actually having the audacity to be stern.

"Who-I know you ain't talkin' to me like I'm some child! Lower my voice?!" You scrunch your face up, only becoming angrier by the second.

"First of all, you left me when you said you were gonna wait, then I finally get here and I catch your sorry ass with some other girl all over you?! Kissing you?! Who the fuck even are you?! What happened in the last hour I've been away?! Like, what did I miss; enlighten me please!" You rant, throwing your hands up in frustration. At this point there was a good chunk of people just watching what was going on, whispers and murmurs started sparking up in the vicinity.

Ken clenches his jaw in annoyance, pissing you off yet again.

"I'm sorry, alright?! I'm a little crossed right now, and I didn't expect her to do something like that." He argues.

"Ohhhh ok, right right. So, we're just a little crossed and didn't expect her to do that. My thing is, why was she even that close to you in the first place? What are you pouring Vodka into her mouth for?" Your tone is blade sharp as you throw question after question his way.

You weren't necessarily yelling anymore but you were clearly seeing red. You swear Ken must've lost his mind in the last hour, because this is so unlike him. It's like he's completely forgotten who both of your parents were, like he forgot if they find out about something like this both of your careers could be over before they even start.

"Babe, babe, I apologized already. What else do you want me to do?! I didn't know she was gonna kiss me!" He argues, throwing his hands up exasperatedly.

"How 'bout not put yourself in a position to even have something like that happen! This don't even make no sense, Ken! You just straight up let her kiss you, like, I watched you hesitate! Had I not come over here would you have even stopped?!" Your eyes start to well up with tears, voice shaking slightly as you try to maintain your angry demeanor.

You hated that he wasn't even trying to comfort or reassure you or anything. He has the nerve to just try to brush it under the rug like it wasn't that big of a deal. You knew for a full fact had this been the other way around he'd probably have caused the loudest riot, and your parents would for sure find out.

He doesn't say a word, just watches you as you try to keep your composure together. No 'let me fix this, babe', no nothing. Sure the two of you are a fake couple with no real feelings of love towards each other, but he could at least act like he cares that you're upset. You sure would. Then to make matters worse, if rumors about this starts to spread, your mom will definitely hear about it.

"Tch." You push passed him and quickly head out of the kitchen, avoiding looking at everyone staring as you storm out.

Embarrassed couldn't even begin to cover how you felt right now. You couldn't believe he disrespected you and the relationship like this, and then went as far as to give that half-assed apology as if that was acceptable! He could've at least tried to come after you when you walked out of the kitchen! You sniffle, trying to calm yourself down as you figure out somewhere fairly secluded to go.

You're back in the living room dance floor area now, the most crowded part of the whole house. You've been to enough parties here to know all of the avoid spots. The living room: where everyone comes to dance as the DJ set is there, the basement: x activities that shall not be named, the balcony upstairs: all the potheads love it there, the bathrooms: illegal drugs...that's all that needs to be said, and the bedroom: other x activities that shall not be named. Even though that seemed like the entire house, there were a few spots left you could go.

Weaving through the multitude of people, you stay close to the wall, heading through the living room and straight out of the sliding glass door. This frat house, as stated before, is very huge, big enough to have a large pool area outside that you can get to from the living room's sliding glass door.

You quickly speed walk to the poolside area, then plop yourself down on one of the pool chairs just as the tears started flowing down your cheeks.

You had fought so hard to keep your makeup looking nice, trying not to cry, but it just seemed like tears were inevitable tonight. Using the sleeve of your costume you gently dab your face, not wanting anything to smear so you don't end up giving the Joker from Batman.

You take a deep breath, exhaling through your nose as you lay back against the pool chair, looking up at the stars somberly. What has this night come to? Everything was so great, then it just...wasn't. Maybe losing your moms gift to you was a sign, 'cause right after that things took a hard left turn.

You felt like you only had a brief moment to even take in your huge accomplishment, now it's like you didn't even do it. This was supposed to be your celebration, your big night with Ken.

We'll see each other tonight, baby. We'll have the whole night actually....

"Liar..." You whisper to yourself bitterly, closing your eyes as you let out an exasperated sigh, feeling completely drained of energy at this point. Oddly enough the sound of the muffled music coming from inside was starting to become almost soothing, mixing harmoniously with the sounds of crickets and echoed conversations. You could actually fall asleep to this...

"You get lost or somethin'? The party's inside."

You jump with a loud yelp, almost falling out of the pool chair as a deep, male voice cuts into the silence. You look around frantically before your eyes fall on some random dude laying in one of the pool chairs to the left of you. He was about four chairs away from you, fully laid out with a cigarette between his fingers, one eye open as he looks over at you lazily. He was dressed pretty basic for a party, nothing but a white v-neck top and jeans. But who were you to talk though...

"Who-who-?! You're sayin' am I lost like you're not out here also." You narrow your eyes, looking him over with a scrutinizing gaze.

Now who the hell is this dude talkin' to?! You weren't really sure since you had your eyes closed earlier, but you figured you were definitely out here first.

"Got me there." He murmurs with a shrug, then pauses before speaking again. "You that dancer girl? The one with the anklet?" He asks slowly, before taking a fairly long drag from his cigarette.

"Wait, the anklet? You seen my anklet?!" At this you sit up completely, eyes wide as you impatiently wait for his answer. He opens both of his eyes finally, then reaches into his left back pocket, taking out your gold anklet. You gasp like a fish out of water, jumping up to your feet and practically running over to him.

"Oh my god! I was looking all over for this! How'd you find it?!" You ramble excitedly. You probably looked like a happy golden retriever with the way you're demeanor completely lit up.

"I didn't. I caught it when it flew off your ankle. Woulda hit me in the face if I didn't catch it." He says with a slight grin, chuckling at the memory of being attacked by your jewelry.

"You caught it?! Is it broken?! Lemme see it!"

He hands you your anklet, letting you observe it and check the clasp. Everything seemed fine with it, but you made a mental note to maybe take it in to a jeweler to get it checked out sometime just in case. "Well, thank you for..catching it." You chuckle lightly, sitting down on the pool chair next to him so you could hook it back around your ankle, this time making sure it was done right.

"'S nothin'. What's your name?"

You tell him your name just as you finish clasping your anklet. "Pretty. I'm Shuji Hanma." He says coolly, taking another drag of his cigarette.

"Thanks." You say with an uncharacteristically bashful laugh. Before you hadn't really been paying too much attention to what this guy looks like, but now that you were sitting up closer, you could really look at him.

Long story short, Hanma's gorgeous, with those honey brown eyes and that deep, sensual voice. He has a single gold earring in his left ear, a unique drop design. He looks pretty tall, yet he's also very muscular, maybe a basketball player you think.

Your eyes trail over to his large veiny hands, with tattoos of some sort of Chinese writing on the back of them, and his long, slender fingers. His hair is fairly short, black, and tussled messily to perfection with blonde highlights in the front that hangs slightly over his eyes. Your face instantly began to heat up as your eyes selfishly continued to drink him in.

You don't smoke, but there's something about the way he's so casually taking those drags, something about his full, pink lips and the way they blow the smoke into the air. He's so effortlessly sexy, and from the way he seems to carry himself, he must know it too.

"Havin' a good time over there eye fuckin' me?" He asks smugly, a small smirk making it's way across his perfect lips as he takes a drag.

"I-I wasn't eye-fucking you!" You stammer, voice unnaturally higher pitched as your face completely set on fire, embarrassed that he caught you staring. 

"No? Just thinkin' in my direction or somethin'?" He teases, blowing smoke in front of him as he looks at you with his head tilted inquisitively. You purse your lips in a frown, unsure of a good comeback, only furthering your embarrassment. He let's out a breathy chuckle, shoulders shaking just slightly.

"Doesn't bother me, doll, you can fuck me with those pretty eyes all you want. It's better in real life though." He shrugs plainly, full on smirking.

Your jaw hits the floor dumbstruck, blinking multiple times as you process what he just said. Nobody has ever talked to you like this before, especially not someone you've just met. It's so bold and nonchalant...and sexy. "Again, I wasn't eye-fucking you. I was just...lookin' at your tattoos." You lie, well, it was partially true.

"Oh yeah? You like 'em?" He asks with a particularly seductive dip in his tone, looking you straight in the eyes. His gaze is so intense you couldn't help but look away, too fearful you'd be sucked in and swallowed whole if you looked any longer.

"Well yeah. I don't know what they mean though." You shrug plainly, hoping to mask the shyness creeping its way up to the surface. He sits up from the pool chair, turning to face you and leaning onto his knees, getting fairly close into your personal space. You don't dare back away, holding your ground as he shows you the back of his hands, his cigarette resting between his fingers in his right hand. 

"They say sin and punishment'" He says lowly, showing you each hand with a proud yet mischievous looking grin on his face.

"Oh..." You murmur sheepishly. The way he explained that made you squeeze your thighs together, visibly swallowing as yours eyes flicker from his hands to his eyes. Hanma's lips curve into an almost devious looking smirk, loving the obvious effect he was having on you.

You felt stuck, like a mouse trapped in a corner by a cat. It's the way his eyes so boldly swallow you up without a single care if you notice or not. You had to change the subject quick, lighten things up before you unintentionally set yourself on fire.

"So...I'm assuming we go to the same school. What's your major?" You ask as pleasantly and coolly as possible.

"Digital photography." He replies, leaning back a bit.

"Oh really?! I was not expecting that. You're the first photography major I've met so far here." You say the last part more to yourself. It seems today is actually the most time you've spent around the photography and journalism majors thanks to that interview this morning.

"There's not too many of us I think." He shrugs before taking a slight pause. "You seem like too good'a dancer to be doing it as a side thing." He raises a brow slightly.

"Oh yeah, I'm one of the dance majors for sure." You laugh softly.

"You looked good out there during the halftime show. I got a lot'a nice shots."

As soon as he said that it clicked how he'd be able to catch your anklet. The photographers were the only people able to be on the field during the halftime show, so of course he caught it. "Thanks! I hope I can see them at some point." You smile softly, unconsciously fiddling with your hands on your lap.

He goes quiet for a moment, looking to the side in thought. "You could see 'em now if you want."

"What d'you mean?"

"My camera's in my car out front. Wanna see 'em?" He offers again.

You bite the inside of your lip, brows slightly furrowed. Sure going into this guy's car to look at pictures seemed innocent, but at the exact same time, this isn't just any guy. He's gorgeous, with those tempting eyes that makes your mind fog whenever you look at them for more than a second. Hanma's dangerous for you, he's way too attractive to be playin' around.

You're taken, and even though you're beyond pissed at Ken, that's unfortunately who your man is.

However, no matter how loudly the alarm bells rang in your head.... "Yeah." You nod, feeling your heart skip a beat in a mind-fuzzing blend of anxious excitement.

And as if he couldn't get any more attractive, slowly your head lifts as you watch him stand to his full height, towering over you like a damn skyscraper.

Lord have mercy on your soul.....

Hanma leads you around the house from outside, avoiding all the weaving and dipping through people, and straight to his car, and damn, even his car is good looking. A shiny black Dodge Hellcat with dark tinted windows sat there proudly in front of the party house.

You wanted to facepalm at this point. This was just getting ridiculous now. "Hang on a sec." He murmurs, unlocking the car and opening the passenger side, grabbing the camera that was sitting there in its case. He leaves the door open, helping you in to which you utter a small "Thank you." "Mhm." He nods, closing the door and getting in at the drivers side. The car smelled just like him, cigarettes and that wildly intoxicating cologne he's wearing.

You were pretty sure he didn't feel the same, with the way he's sitting there all cool and chill while doing whatever he's doing with that expensive looking camera, but you were inwardly shaking in your boots. The silence felt so heavy, and you weren't sure how to sit or where to look, so you just fiddled with the sequins on your costume, reminding yourself that your boyfriend was just right inside the frat house.

His cigarette was gone you realized, just as he turned to look at you again, the camera roll finally showing the pictures from tonight. "Here, just hit the arrow to go to the next one." He instructs smoothly, handing you the Canon camera. His slender fingers brush against yours as you grab the device, sending immediate shockwaves down your spine from the back of your neck.

Your jaw nearly hits the floor as you look at the first picture on the screen. You looked so flawless you almost didn't even recognize yourself. Though the day had been so stressful, on the field you looked like a dancing goddess, the costume and makeup sparkling under the stadium lights like some kind of ethereal glow.

"Oh my gooooosh! This looks-this is so..." You trail off unable to really find the right descriptive word, your mouth still hanging open slightly. Hanma chuckles breathily, watching you look at the picture in amusement. You take one last long look at the first one, then go on to the next one.

It was just as beautiful as the previous picture. You were in the middle of your intro solo still, he'd caught you with both hands on your hips and a wide smile, your right leg shifted in front of the left making you look particularly statuesque.

Your heart grew warmer and warmer with each picture you went through, not a single one was a flop, not even a little bit. These are the types of pictures your parents would pay hundreds just to keep and show off to their coworkers and neighbors. "Wanna see my favorite?" He murmurs, cutting into the silence. "Your favorite? Sure." You hand the camera back, curious as to which picture he'd show you.

He clicks the arrow through about seven more pictures, going past it for a second before he finally went back, his lips curving upwards slightly when he saw it. "This one. This is the one."

You let out a small gasp, leaning over the armrest as he shows you the picture. It was-no-you were stunning, and you knew exactly which part of the dance that was too. You'd just finished the moment of holding the split during Emma's brief solo. Then as you come up from the ground you'd enter into a spin and stop with your leg pointed outwards, your left hand on your hip as the right is outstretched, and your fingers point down and outwards.

The angle he took the shot in made it seem like you were looking right at the camera, it caught your eyes perfectly. Your expression was fierce due to the part of the song it was at, and your hair was in the middle of flowing with the breeze.

"This is so beautiful." You smile, almost wanting to tear up. For the first time the whole night you finally felt like you had a chance to bask in that half time show moment. Everything had moved so fast afterwards, there was no time to stop and look at posts or pictures. You knew for a fact though that peoples posts on their stories had nothing on Hanma's professional pictures. "You're real easy to take shots of. Every move you made was perfect." He says, his tone strikingly serious.

"Thanks." You chuckle bashfully, looking to the side as you try to force your heart to stop doing that annoying fluttering.

Easy girl, calm down, he's just being nice. It's just a compliment. Think about Ken, just think about Ken...

Hanma goes through a few of the pictures to see for himself before he speaks again. "Y'know, you make a good muse." He says softly, eyes still fixed on the pictures he's sifting through. "A muse? Like, I'm inspirational?" You tilt your head to the side.

"Yeah, somethin' like that." He chuckles a little. Setting the camera on his lap, he looks you over, up and down and back up, making your face turn hot instantly as you shift uncomfortably in the passenger seat. "What?" You murmur, furrowing your brows in a slight pout. You were sure you'd never be able to get used to his piercing eyes and the way they trail all over you so boldly.

"I've had this idea for a project I wanna do, but I haven't been able to find the right model until you." He explains, looking back up into your eyes.

"Me?! Hold up, you want me to model for you?" You gawk, your face contorted into a look of pure shock. His lips curve into a wide, excited grin, eyes almost sparkling as he seems to have made up his mind.

"I do. You're perfect." He nods, his voice velvety smooth, just like honey.

Again you fold under the sound of his voice and sensual eyes, looking at your hands now nervously fiddling with themselves in your lap. "I-I don't have really any experience with any modeling. I mean, dancers do portraits and stuff but...what kind of modeling do you want me to do?" You stammer bashfully, trying yet failing to hold any sort of confident eye contact with him.

"Nothin' you wouldn't be able to do easily. I need a full body, half naked silhouette of you; something in dark lighting." He says, a bit vaguely in your opinion.

A half naked silhouette in dark lighting...with a guy like him?! Now the alarms were really flashing, but at the same time, it was for professional, career related things. There's no harm in helping someone out with their project, right? You knew all about the frustrations of trying to gather people to help bring your vision to life, so you figured why not help him out.

"Uhhh, I mean, I guess I could do it. Is it an urgent project?" You raise a brow a bit, looking over at him briefly.

"If by urgent you mean for a class then no. This is more of a personal portfolio kind'a thing." He shrugs.

A personal thing? So it's no particular guidelines...

"K. Well, let me know when you wanna do it. I'll find some time in my schedule." You nod.

"Perfect. Lemme see your phone, angel." He purrs, holding his hand out lazily. You try to ignore his flirtatious tone and that name he just called you, reaching in your sweatpants pocket. You take out your phone and unlock it, already knowing to pull up your contacts app. Another jolt shoots down your spine as your fingers make contact again while you hand him your phone. "Cool." He smirks, satisfied that you opened to the app without him having to ask, putting his number and name in.

You went and sent him a text, "Heyyy" with two exclamation points so he could save your number in his own phone.

Why'd it feel so wrong to have his number in your phone? This was just a business thing, a collaboration, right? If you weren't so attracted to him it wouldn't feel like nearly as much of a problem as it does now, and maybe if he wouldn't call you angel or doll with that sexy ass voice, that'd probably make it feel better.

Then if Ken hadn't pissed you off beyond belief, it wouldn't feel like you were doing this out of spite, hanging with some guy you just met at a party since Ken wanted to spend his time with another girl and his sports buddies. But you have no intention of cheating though, so...technically there's nothing wrong, right?

There's nothing wrong about this....

A/N🧚🏾‍♀️: Ooool, what y'all bouta get into puttin' dat man number in y'all phoooone?!?! Teehee, hope y'all enjoyed and I'll have the next chapter up soon! It's finna go DEEOWN next chapter okaaay! Like, comment, reblog please, love you all💖

[afreakingdork]

Unfortunately one of the reasons why I'm so scared to have online presence it's because I can't deal with any sort of harassment or harsh criticism. I feel like some people on the internet have forgotten how to be kind :(

I totally sympathize with that and understand fully if others don't want to be out, but it makes me so steamed that we can't just do whatever in this supposedly anonymous space. The coordinated attacks and mass hysteria brought about by experimenting with literally anything that could be even the slightest bit sensitive is a patently hysteria. Art as a media is meant to be experimented with and, yes, I get this is a double edged sword. Bronies made MLP inaccessible to their core audience largely on online spaces, but the levels at which some people go to attack, actual attacks with death threats and the like, is outrageous. The murmurs you hear talk of the blacklist or that supposedly secret discord that sends people out like agents? What the fuck are they doing? That is obsessive behavior patrolling existence and for what?!

I'm not evening asking people to be kind. I've been on the internet for many years. I've read the many studies of how a supposedly anonymous wall gives people armor that makes them believe that they can say their shitty opinions out loud. Hell, if you're in America you've been watching as for years now people have started to think they can spew hatred in public like it's the norm, but I'm not actually comparing the conservative wave to ninja turtles; I only mean to illustrate, not all people are good. Do I believe most people are? Of course, I'm an optimist.

My honest goal is just don't like, don't read. I'll tap the signs as many times as I need to. As long as those creating sensitive material take the basic steps (tagging and warnings), then to me that's all that's necessary! It is not your job to curtail yourself for other's consumption if you are not going out of your way to bother them. Block and move on! That's basic human decency.

tldr; you're valid. if you don't feel comfortable, I fully support you. If you do and do the bare minimum to warn others, live and let live.

[drbased]

In my experience, depression is what happens when I don't trust myself, when I don't take myself seriously, when I believe that there are things I 'should' believe and things I 'should' do and ways I 'should' behave. My depression felt like a form of rebellion against the world that says I should be fine with my childhood, or maybe even have deserved what happened to me - but I now understand that my depression was not a rebellion but rather a panicked outsourcing of my pain. If I keep the misery going, if I can make grandiose statements on the nature of how messed up life is, if I can just show them, show them all, that I am *not* happy and this is *not* how life should be... then I've made my sadness meaningful because it has a justification that can be universally understood and acknowledged, and I've found 'proof' that I deserve to be sad because other people can feel empathy for me. I made my sadness so big because the idea that I was sad about something that I percieved to be small - or, I was worried others would percieve it to be small - was so humiliating it wasn't even worth addressing. I couldn't just trust myself, take my own sadness seriously - it had to be worth something to someone else, it had to be bigger than me. The eventual realisation I had to make is that my emotions are my own: I'm allowed to be sad, to be angry, to be irritated, about whatever the hell I want - and this only becomes a 'pathology' when I suppress it and either cover it up with comfort-seeking, or only allow it to come out in the form of a huge grandiose breakdown worthy of a gothic novel, or obsess over trying to 'prove' it right, procrastinating on ever feeling it fully. Depression, for me, was the result of procrastinating on my own feelings until I reach periods where I cannot take it anymore. It's a lack of honesty, a feeling that the only value of my emotions is to some external judge. Instead, I came to recognie that my feelings are mine and they're worth something purely because they're mine and I can have weird opinions and be opinionated and that's just being a person and having a personality. Depression was how I chipped away at myself because I was terrified and humiliated over the reality of me simply being a normal human being and generating meaning through something as mundane as my normal human life and giving it value simply because it's my life.

In many ways, my depression, symbolic state of mind, and pathological demand avoidance all have this void of personality as the origin. Saying 'I have depression' makes it sound as if depression is an addition to your personality; a tumour that should be artificially removed. But my depression is an attempt to make meaning where I was specifically avoiding seeking meaning in my own mundane life. It is an attempt to justify my emotion because I see my emotions as a personal failing. It is an outsourcing of my personhood to some nebulous watcher and judger, who I can meet at the pearly gates and can tell me I achieved success as a person - I was disciplined, I was moral, I did everything right. Even my thoughts were right, because I'd made sure of that, and my emotions were right, as I'd put them under constant examination and reflection. The symbolic state of mind requires that there is an external judgment, just as pda does, just as, so I found, depression does. All of them exist inside my mind to address the exact same problem: that as a person, I do not feel that I exist for me - I'm put on this earth to be a problem-solver, and because I think and feel deeply, I have an obligation to be 'of use' to the rest of the world. After all, if you look at it logically, I am but one person, and if it's my minor discomfort vs the discomfort of others then it's one versus many, and the many takes precedent over the all. But it went deeper than that - I was so disconnected from my reality as a human being that my conscious self percieved 'me' as a category of person to take into consideration when making my moral and logically correct decisions. So I would go to a restaurant and think 'this is what drbased would like, so I will order that - oh no, but that's really pricey and drbased doesn't like to pay that much, so I guess I should go for the cheaper option? Oh, now I feel really bad for some reason...', or go to boardgaming event and think 'drbased likes this game, but also drbased likes those people playing that other game - so, holy shit, which should I chose??? what's the right decision to make??? what ticks the most boxes???' I never consciously thought of myself in the third person, but after much introspection I realised that that's ultimately the attitude I went into everything with: every decision had to be weighed up against all factors of varying importance, and every time something didn't turn out perfectly I'd be left with this itching sense of disappointment that could follow me for days, months or even years.

Symbolic state: provides the sense of external judgement; my spiritual beliefs planted in me an idea that I could treat life like a perpetual classroom, and I could use external stimuli as 'proof' I was doing life correctly. This provides the underlying mechanism in which I lose the wisdom of understanding that I exist and make choices for me. There's a simplicity to it - I don't have to worry about anything as measly and pathetic as my feelings, and instead I make my decisions based on a set of moral and logical rules that, if for some reason it could ever happen, I could defend fully in court. And in turn, instead of feeling any real sense of satisfaction, achievement, and self-love, I could instead turn life into a collection of stimuli that gave me a euphoric buzz. Symbolic states became the mechanism by which I lost myself and also the mechanism by which I could cope with losing myself.

Depression: I now understand that I first developed depression when I believed that leaving school and starting university would magically change my whole life and make me feel entirely different in some nebulous way. Ironically, that actually did happen, but clearly not to the extent that I ever wanted to admit to myself - it's embarrassing to admit to myself that I wanted something impossible, so instead of ever accepting that fact about me, I suppressed it, and thus began the obsessive process of constantly re-evaluating everything that happens to me so I decide if I'm 'allowed' to feel negative about it or not.

PDA: The seeds of PDA were planted as a teenager but the feeling of unease truly started to grow from when my depression started and reached its height about 6-ish years ago. I started off with a very specific life goal, but hindsight is 20-20 and I had no idea at the time how much I was internalising this idea that everything I do is up for scrutiny, that I'm not allowed to be a flawed human being with weird opinions and habits. Everything I did had to be quirky, had to be aesthetic (feeding into, and fed by, the symbolic states), had to be meaningful by some exterior metric. By the time I was in my early 20s I had noticed that everything I did was highly calculated and had multiple reasons behind it. I remember thinking at the time it was an interesting observation about myself, but several years later I was screaming and crying about how I feel uncomfortable literally all of the time and how everything I do, I want to do something else. I was in low-level hell, always feeling obligated to do something and feeling a deep, gnawing sense of disappointment when things went 'wrong'. Now I understand that when I succumb to obligation, I feel a sense of internal betrayal and a creeping feeling of depression. If I have a depressive crash, it's entirely related to me blocking out some emotion and/or feeling as if I 'should' do a certain obligation. The more I accept myself, and the more I choose, the further I stray from showing the typical depression symptoms.

If any of this seems relatable to you, then I implore that you learn to listen to yourself, to accept things inside yourself which feel embarrassing to admit, to say 'fuck you, I am allowed to feel sad about x thing in my past - or, rather, no one is disallowing me to feel that way', to reframe things in your life from an external obligation to something you want to do because it benefits you. I don't have a clinical background and therefore cannot say that depression only comes from this sort of origin, but I have a stong inkling from not just witnessing it in myself but in others - denial of yourself absolutely destroys you from within, and necessarily so when you think about, for the medium is the message: everytime I succumbed to obligation, I told myself that what I want is not enough, that I am always beholden to forces bigger than me. One of the main things I have learned from this journey is that your mind is always listening in to everything you do and say about yourself, and that ultimately, you cannot hide from yourself. Learning to be honest with yourself and face embarrassment of your mundane life head-on are paramount steps in giving yourself a foundation of self-love that, in my case at least, allowed to me to not be Depressed(TM) anymore.

[notoriousbeb]

ttpd: before I go

For me, at least, it's fully possible to listen to music, enjoy it and also wonder who or what inspired it and have it remind me of my own life (usually unfortunatley) and also make me think about different characters I love all at the same time (Hello, WAOLOM!? -> Aelin Galathynius !!! )

Like many others, I also like to pop on here to see everyone elses' reactions to new recordings. "Does this song also make you want to throw up?" "Did you laugh here, too?" "Woah, you thought this meant that? Genius." 

It makes me smile and laugh and it's great. For a while.

But then, all too quickly comes the other side of the coin. The bickering and policing and posturing and, yes, the bitching and moaning, and ... it's just too much to do too often. 

"You're not supposed to have that opinion about this song." "How dare anyone thinks this thing about that topic?!" "UM... actually, Taylor is overrated entirely and this whole album is mid." "You are only supposed to apply these songs to yourself." "Nuh uh, you can also do characters; but not real people, that makes you stupid and also evil. But Travis is okay." "Oh, he's not just okay, the whole album is actually about Travis." "Noooo, everything Matty, you silly goose." "Shut up, nothing is about Matty, actually -- it's all about Joe somehow, like even the parts that would make no sense to be about Joe, are, in fact, about him!" "No, it's not about Joe OR Matty, it's about our relationship with Taylor. Yep, even 'Down Bad,' somehow." "NO, you're all too parasocial! That's why she pulled out all her teeth!!!"

Woah. 

That noise is way too loud for me.

I tried to prune and curate and trim. But the bitterness still just gets in through the cracks too fast and floods my brain. 

And then I find even myself being a bit of a cranky cop, and that's no fun for me either. Sure, yes, history is history and art is art. One is open to interpretation, the other is, well, not. 

But, if you want to believe "Out of the Woods," or whatever song, is about Big Bird, at this point, I say have at it and you do you. I mean, I won't be scrolling through your dissertations on how Taylor has known the muppet since junior high, but I don't want to let those essays make me a grump either. 

So, all that to say... see you all next release? I'm stoked for Rep! Good luck, Kimye rot in hell, traitors <3

[lostinvasileios]

Witchy icks.

Godspouse controversy.

There's so much unneeded controversy around people who are godspouses. It's ridiculous. I get it, truly. It's not a one size fits all thing, witchcraft in itself isn't as well. But, absolutely nobody has the right at all to go to someone who is a godspouse of any kind (romantic, familial, ect) and tell them that they are being tricked, that they are being disrespectful, or that the deity or deities in question would never.

So, so many people think that they know everything about divinity. No matter who you are, how long you've practiced, you do not. You never will. And that is okay. It's impossible for us to fully grasp divinity.

They're infinite beings, they're beyond our own comprehension in countless ways. And that is okay. It doesn't mean anyone is less than them.

I'm so sick of people saying "Oh, well, we're mortals. They're gods. Why would they choose us?" Please, honeybee, keep that sort of opinion to yourself or to your community. To go out of your way to harass a godspouse simply for existing with their deity is beyond cruel in my eyes.

Divinity can love, they can love so many people in so many ways, and have room to love more. Speak for your UPG, but do not claim it as a verified piece of information. Just because you yourself are not a godspouse, or don't believe in it, does not mean it is not valid, it does not mean it is not a beautiful thing to experience, and it certainly does not mean that person is disrespectful if that spousal is mutual and full of love on both ends.

I've said it before, and I'll say it as many more times as I need to. Everyone's practice will never look the same. Everyone's relationship with deities is their own, therefore, everyone should go about their own days if they're upset with the way another person is interacting with a deity. You cannot speak for the deity. You've done a reading and it came back saying "No" when asking if they're spoused? Why would they tell you that they are? Why do you think the deity in question would tell you about the relationships they have that they most likely know you are not accepting of?

Fear mongering.

I advise a lot of witches, experienced or new, to stay away from Witchtok. It is not a reliable source, and most of the time, it's just trying to scare people. It's the same thing with a lot of social witch groups, and a lot of devotees/practitioners.

If someone says "be respectful", of course, that's true in my experience. But if someone says "be respectful or else all hell will break loose and you'll be forever cursed" (or something like that in a way), scroll. Block, even. That is just them trying to scare you.

No, nobody's going to steal your soul if you have an intrusive thought. No, infernal divinity is not going to call you pathetic for having trauma. No, no, no.

Not everybody is out to get you. Not every spirit you come across is a trick. The truth will reveal itself one way or another. You will find out what's real, what's not. You will be you. And you will be okay regardless of what happens in your journey.

People saying they can tell you everything you need to know.

This is less of an ick than the previously mentioned things, but it still holds a little bit of weirdness to me.

Nobody can tell you everything. Don't let that discourage you, however! It's only because it's too personal for people to decode everything you experience. It's like a barrier between you and whatever else. If you book a spell from someone you trust, go ahead, but don't let people tell you every piece of information for your craft. Because then, it isn't yours.

I get it, I really do - it can be very scary to step out and try to do it yourself, it can be hard, I know. But you can do it. Whatever's meant for you, you will indulge in. It will make itself known to you. Whatever deity, whatever type of crafts you like, and so on, it will come.

The universe is wacky. It's unpredictable most of the time. It can seem like it came straight from a movie sometimes with some of the things that may happen to you.

The universe is making your craft universal. It's meant for you and you only. It may take time to be confident on it, but you will get there. You have the ability of figuring things out. Listen to yourself, trust your own self, your own intuition, your own tools if you have them. Cleanse, research, protect yourself, but be happy in your craft. That's most important, in my eyes. The happiness. That's what your deities want to see, as well. They want to see you happy. Happy in your own craft, happy in yourself, happy in your own beliefs. They want you, to be you.

It truly is so disheartening to see people give out blatant hate in the witchy community, when there's already so much of it towards us. That there's a constant divide. Let people believe what they want, do what feels right to them. Let them love, let them doubt, help them or simply go about your day and let them figure it out elsewhere.

Be kind to those just starting out. Be kind to those freaking out because they think it's all fake. Be kind.

[thesherrinfordfacility]

i won't go so far as to say they annoy me, because everyone has their own opinions, but i just CANNOT agree with any takes saying that their entire relationship has been dysfunctional or built on solely on false premises or etc. anything else in that vein. i know we've been dissecting the issues a lot to explain the breakup, but i'm going to go out on a limb and say that as a whole there's way more love than problems and there's way more good than bad. and that doesn't erase the problems or the bad or make them any less in need of fixing, i'm just saying overall the love in their relationship and the good parts of it definitely win out. plus, PLEASE cut them a bit of slack for the constraints the Heaven&Hell rigmarole put on their relationship. and i don't mean in a trauma way, i mean in a physical threat, having to do everything secretly kinda way.

further asks and response under the cut:

hi anon!!!✨ okay won't lie, the first ask made my blood pressure rocket through the ceiling 😅 but you're good, thanks for coming back to clarify, i really appreciate it - bc tbh idk if i would have had the acuity to have answered this today otherwise!!!✨

i hear you - speaking more personally for a sec (i will actually address what you're saying in a mo!), i hope you don't mind, it is slightly exhausting when some read my ask responses or metas, and genuinely believe that im purposefully trying to find negativity in the story or the characters, especially crowley. im not at all; i truly just find the dozens of layers to them both (and the storyline - the ethics, philosophy, psychology!) really, really interesting, and i find it fun to examine. i don't take any joy in pointing out flaws or dysfunctions for the sake of it, but more that, for me, it makes the whole relationship so much more relatable, and compelling. here are two creatures that are literally as non-human as it can get, and they're making mistakes, or miscommunicating, or have 'issues' the same as a lot of us do? that's really comforting to me - to look at two characters that i treasure acutely, and be able to recognise the ways in which they're not perfect. their story, in that respect, suddenly doesn't feel inaccessible.

but braindump-that-you-didnt-ask-for over!!!✨

i agree that their relationship is ultimately rooted in love. i think that that love has taken in many incarnations over the course of their narrative, emerging from general attraction/fascination, to acquaintances, to uniquely-relatable-to-each-other-and-only-each-other colleagues, to friends, to best friends, to deeply-pining crushes, to being unrequited love interests, to being full-throttle in love with each other, to being each other's family and sanctuary... all of these at the same time, and some evolving and merging into others. i don't personally hold the belief that romantic love has been there since the beginning (but fully respect where people do see it that way!) but romantic love isn't the only love that aziraphale and crowley are built on.

there have been problems and misunderstandings amongst all of that, times where they possibly don't know each other as much as they like to think they do, where they've not been kind or gentle to each other, but that doesn't mean that none of it isn't all interwoven, in every fibre, with love (whatever form that takes). they may not be human, but they are navigating something uniquely human, and that isn't always going to be perfect.

add to that, just as you say, the literal threat that hangs over both of them where they're not allowed to acknowledge a single part of any of the above; to do so not only puts themselves at risk, but the other at risk moreso. that fear - that sword of damocles, as others way more poetically-minded than me have put it - is borne out of love, of concern, of respect, and friendship. it's not a question, again as you say (because i wholeheartedly agree with you!), of one loving the other more than the vice versa, and one always having to bend to the other until they break whilst the other doesn't get a look-in. the way i see it, sometimes you do have to bend to each other in relationships, friendships etc., but that's a mark of trust, respect, and love in and of itself; that you can feel that you can look to the other for support when you need it, feel comfortable in being vulnerable enough to do so, and be so deeply loved in return as to be the one to support when the other needs it themselves.

there are times in the narrative where one lets the other down, or hurts them, sure - but that doesn't mean that that's the nail in the coffin. it's not going to ruin them, or end them, or drive them apart irrevocably; it's causing/caused issues that they simply need to work to mend... and tbh, they're probably not even aware that some of those cracks are there! once again, i think it's fair to say that this happens in most relationships, and usually - usually - most problems such as the more human-like ones they're facing now (especially the ones borne out of wanting to protect one another!) are fixable with patience, communication, kindness, time, and continuous love!

i do think s3 is really going to upend this, though, and put it to that aforementioned breaking point; i think there is going to be stuff revealed which leaves each other completely bare for the other to see - no secrets, no smokescreen, no glamour - and prove to be the true test of that love. but let's face it (because it will happen); they will choose to love each other anyway. perhaps even because of what s3 will reveal. i don't think ive ever seen their love for each other as unconditional - like i said, i think such a 'condition'/test will be put to them both in s3 and turn their view of each other on its head - but their love for each other in, all its guise, is strong, deep, and profound enough that it will be what they choose every time✨

if you would like to come back off anon, that is entirely up to you and i'll leave that for you to decide - or message privately? - i don't mind!!! but again thank you for clarifying the tone, i find tone hard to read sometimes and i appreciate the follow-up asks!!!💕

[foxykatie425]

Why do we need to fight over the ATLA remake?

I joined tumblr less than a year ago, and when I did I was fully aware that it had somewhat fallen out of style, and that most people who used to use tumblr have moved on to TikTok and other platforms. The reason I did it anyway was because I wanted to find and interact with people who were passionate about the same things I was (whatever my hyperfixation of the moment is). When I don’t know anybody irl who gets excited about the same things I do, I can turn to tumblr to have thoughtful discussions, read fanfiction, and appreciate people’s beautiful fanart. It’s been a way for me to share and express my excitement with people that actually care.

So you can imagine my disappointment when, after watching and enjoying the new live action ATLA series on Netflix, I search the ATLA hashtag on tumblr only to find a lot of the top posts are people shitting all over something I enjoyed and was excited about. (Not that there aren’t some positive, but as with anything the haters always seem to be the loudest.) Now don’t get me wrong, was the show perfect? No, of course not. Was it the same as the original? No, of course not! It’s not supposed to be! And it pains me that people are so quick to talk about things that were negative and just brush off things that were positive. (Especially when we have that movie that doesn’t exist to compare it to…)

That being said, this post isn’t really about ATLA. I don’t care if people didn’t like the new series. Everyone’s entitled to their opinions. And I don’t care if people want to talk about why they didn’t like it or what they didn’t like about it. Hell, there may even be some points I agree with you on. What I don’t like is when people state their opinions like they are facts! You're allowed to not like the same things I do. But don't try to make me feel like I'm wrong for enjoying something you did not! I opened up that hashtag to share my excitement over something, and was very disheartened when all I saw was people saying “it’s terrible, and here’s why!”

It’s okay if you didn’t like it. But it’s also okay if you did! And the fact that I enjoyed the remake doesn’t make me any less of a fan of the original, and it doesn’t mean I appreciate the original any less. If you’re going to share a negative opinion, do it in a way that’s not going to hurt people who don’t share that opinion. (And that goes for anything, not just ATLA!)

[lollytea]

I'm actively putting on my tinfoil hat as we speak but... the more Zeno plays up the whole 'Oh Hunter and Willow Are Such Good Friends' on twitter the more I think we have a big Huntlow Confirmed Romantic moment still to come in the last special. I feel like he's trolling just for fun but also because he knows there's only a limited amount of time he can plausibly say 'uwu just friends!' about them and he's milking it.

I will always respect and appreciate those who fight the good tinfoil hat fight. My own personal reading on all of this is that it confirms that the finger link WAS the big Huntlow Confirmed Romantic moment. Because I feel like that's why Zeno keeps milking the "friendship :)" joke. Because it is very obviously not. And he's never gonna stop saying it. Cuz it's funny as hell.

He made the joke sparingly over the months before FTF aired when the canon content consisted of Hunter blushing and Willow going feral when he was threatened. But he's really amped it up now that more stuff has happened.

Like I was very much in the opinion that, depending on if you squint or not, the finger thing could be interpreted as ambiguous. Maybe. Possibly. Then as soon as the episode aired, he went and said this shit.

Which I consider as good a confirmation as any lmao. No platonic intent behind this scene whatsoever. It's explicitly romantic.

Zeno has also been very funny because he'll say shit like "what is huntlow? Is that a band? Do they have good songs?" and then rt art of them smooching in the same breath. He's liked and rted art of them before, though he was kinda cryptic about it. Removing it within an hour. It's as if somebody contacted him like "Hey!! Spoilers!! Cut that out!!"

This led to people turning his huntlow teasing into a bit of a meme, something he happily leaned into. Like he knew everyone else knew that something was going on with those little guys. But he was still not allowed to talk about it. So he was all "They're friends :)", knowing everybody got what he was putting down. Now he's apparently been given the okay to post about it, considering all the art rts, their relationship is no longer considered "spoilers" apparently, he's teasing about dubbing over a comic where Hunter refers to Willow as his girlfriend, like??? The man is fully free. He's been set loose. Huntlow is as canon as canon can be. I don't personally think his "advanced friendship" gag is hinting at anything bigger still to come. I think he's just committed to the bit. Man's got jokes.

But yeah I honestly see FTF as a "wrap" on Huntlow, the same way Hooty's door was a "wrap" on Lumity. In the same vein that Dana started posting and rting explicitly romantic Lumity art only after Hooty's door aired, she only interacted with Huntlow art after FTF. (Most notably stuff that was captioned "they're canon now") Like Zeno made a few slip ups but Dana never did. She's very careful about the art she interacts with, because people are quick to take her liking art as official creator approval and sometimes take it too far. So like. Huntlow canon bro. Huntlow painfully canon. They're officially established now. That's a wrap, folks.

Not that Huntlow's sweet little love story is over. Just like Lumity wasn't over after they were established. However, Lumity asked each other out at a somewhat low stakes point in the series. They had a little while to breathe and adjust as a newly formed teenage relationship. They got to have their silly little honeymoon phase and we got to see a glimpse into their mundane but adorable slice of life transition into girlfriends.

Meanwhile, Huntlow doesn't really have that privilege. They established themselves during a high stakes climax. They don't really have time to sit down and talk about this any further. Judging by whatever the Collector triggered at the end of the episode, they're probably gonna be more preoccupied with staying alive than entertaining thoughts about the fact that they're kinda sorta dating now.

Stuff's definitely gonna happen. I imagine they'll be joined at the hip over the course of WAD (possibly separated for plot related reasons and might be overly sentimental when they part ways and/or reunite.) If we get a breather or two throughout the ep, maybe they can flirt or hold hands or something dumb like that. Maybe some stuff linking them to Caleb and Evelyn. Idk if they're smooching. I seriously doubt it. I don't really believe we're getting any kind of kiss in the next special but a silly little cheek smooch like lumity in follies isn't unlikely. I could see it.

But yeah. I don't believe we're getting a bigger and grander romantic moment than the finger link, but I think we're gonna get a bunch of little ones instead. They don't have a lot of time to be cringe but I think they're gonna take advantage of every available moment to be complete losers for each other. I believe in them.