#and i'm still unsure where i sit on whether or not that was intentional

[missadangel]

The Heart of Rome (Marcus Acacius x Reader)

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Chapter 3: The Intention

"Veritas Odit Moras"

Truth Hates Delay.

"Septimia Aurelia, do you know how much I have searched for you, my lady?"

You regarded him with surprise and were rendered speechless.

The man carefully looked around and then grabbed your wrist to move you to a more secluded spot against the wall. "You've got a lot of attention, dressing like this, and it's pretty clear who you are. When did you get here? You've read the letter? Have you told anyone about it? Don’t."

Your heart was beating like crazy, your ears were buzzing, and the man's voice was almost blurred.

“Who… Who are you, sir?”

How come you knew nothing and he knew more than you?

“I'm Macrinus, my lady. You probably don’t remember me, you were too young, I'm the one who took you to Vicius.”

Vicius was your uncle's real name, the one your father had mentioned in the letter.

“I went to Egypt to find you, as your father ordered. However, Vicius was reluctant, I’m not blaming him but-" he glanced over your shoulder as if he was looking for something behind you. "How did you get back to Rome? Where’s he now?”

You tried to understand what he said, but it was very difficult, too much for one day.

"He died and I was brought back as a captive," you said in a low voice, your eyes bright with tears, recalling him once more, especially in this way, stung you anew.

He touched your shoulder. "It seems it was an unfortunate return for you. You must have opened the letter. You didn't lose it, did you?"

You dabbed at your eyes with the tips of your fingers, wiping away the tears. "It doesn't matter now, sir. I was brought here as a slave."

"What slave? You are the daughter of a deified emperor. Who bought you? Who is your Dominus?”

You remained expressionless and refused to give him the General's name. You knew it might put him in a difficult position and you had no intention of trusting him. “Sir, I am a slave and I have to live like one.”

"You can't be serious, please. This is your birthright, and you must demand what you deserve."

"How?"

"I will present it to the Senate, and it is likely to receive their support. However, I must first weaken Geta," he stated, his voice firm and decisive.

“But-."

"I have to go now before they get suspicious. I will help you. I’ve promised your father."

“Sir I-"

"I have a lot to tell you. Trust me and wait," he said, striding across the temple..

This man claimed to be a friend of your father's, but you were unsure whether to trust him. The situation was a significant source of distress for you, both mentally and physically. You felt a sense of nausea, pressing your hand and then your arm against the wall in an attempt to regain your composure. You closed your eyes and pressed your forehead to your arm, attempting to gain control of your thoughts. At that moment, you heard a voice you recognized calling out to you.

"My Lady!" Octavius hurried over to your side, looking concerned.

When you opened your eyes, you saw his sandals first because you were looking at the floor. You looked up.

“Are you well? Did someone do something to you?” He looked around angrily, ready to draw his sword. You put out your hand and stopped him.

“Calm down, sir. I'm fine."

Octavian pulled his hand away, taken aback by your touch. “I've been looking for you everywhere. The general sent me to find you, he was worried.”

You brushed a few strands of hair from your face with the back of your hand. "I'm sorry, I got a little nervous in the crowd and pulled away."

"Yes, it was unexpected for everyone. The emperors were in a hurry to get to the games, so they cut the ceremony short. I couldn't get you to the carriage in time. Forgive me."

"You still treat me like a lady, sir," you teased him.

He smiled. "If you don't mind, I'd like to keep it up. Shall we? The games are about to begin."

He gestured to the waiting carriage in the distance.

You were mesmerised by the splendour of this building, sitting in the part of the Colosseum intended for slaves and others. From your vantage point, you surveyed the area where the emperors and the General were seated, though they were not clearly visible from your distance. However, when they stood and advanced to deliver their opening speeches, you could see them more distinctly in their white shawls.

Caracalla and Geta raised their hands and greeted the crowd, while they chanted their names repeatedly loudly.

"People of Rome! Today, we gather to honor the glorious greatest General Marcus Acacius.”

Applause and voices rose as Geta extended his hand to the General, you were filled with excitement. He took his hand, came forward and raised his hands. He looked up at the top bleachers and searched the crowd, his eyes determined to find you, but it was hard from such a distance.

Caracalla grasped the General's other hand. He was between them, the crowd now chanting all three of their names.

"Are you ready to see these magnificent, mind-blowing games to celebrate his extraordinary achievements?”

When the crowd responded enthusiastically in the affirmative, Geta and Caracalla shouted excitedly at the same time.

“Then let the games begiiiiiiiiiiiin!”

The thick iron gates of the arena rumbled open and two chariots thundered in, their arrival accompanied by the roar of trumpets and the beating of drums. They circled round the arena and stopped in front of the general and the emperors. While the emperors applauded them enthusiastically, the soldiers in charge ordered them to step aside and the chariots moved forward, their warriors saluting the crowd.

“Now, Gladiatoooooors!” Geta shouted and pointed to the other door. The crowd continued to cheer louder when they saw the iron-armored warriors coming out one by one. Every step was a sharp noise, echoing through the arena. The gladiators, seven in number, turned to the emperors and saluted them.

“Ave Imperatores, morituri te salutant!” Hail Emperors, those who are about to die salute you!

Caracalla looked at the General smiling widely.

“Today, the speech is yours, General Acacius!” he shouted and clasped his hand, and sat on his throne.

"Spur them on, you're the expert, I want to see some blood,” Geta said to the general with a wink and sat on his throne, legs crossed, clapping. From a distance, you couldn't hear them or see his face clearly, but you were certain the General was not pleased. As the General raised his arms in the air, the crowd fell silent, and the shouting died down, allowing you to rest your ears a little.

“As a soldier, I can tell you this: When you engage in combat, it is important to maintain a positive mindset and avoid thoughts of defeat. You must only think about winning! However, winning is not easy, not just about killing your enemy or defeating him. Absolutely not. Winning is about being remembered with honor, like a hero, even if you die in the end! A true soldier most likely, is not afraid of death. Neither is a true gladiator! He embraces it, caresses it, and even defies it! Today, we want to see a real gladiator who can kill death itself! Prove you can achieve it and make your emperors proud! Fight with honor and win the crowd!”

The general's speech was a roaring success, prompting a rapturous response from the assembled crowd. The drums beat again, and the gladiators raised their swords in salute to the general and gathered together in a defensive position.

He was the real deal: a genuine commander and warrior. He made your heart beat fast and you admired him.

As the battle between gladiators and other warriors commenced, you began to feel a certain degree of apprehension. You had seen blood and wounded people before, of course, but this was not the point. The point was that these warriors, whose bodies were being ruthlessly cut and torn apart, were being watched with enthusiasm and laughter by the crowd. You were grateful for the top stand, thankful that you were watching from there. You knew you wouldn't have been able to bear to see such an atrocity up close.

The warriors in the chariot had lost all their horses, also torn apart mercilessly, they jumped down and attacked the gladiators with their spears, killing, and butchering a few in the process. Only two gladiators and three warriors remained. They all had cuts on exposed parts of their bodies and blood oozing from their injured areas, but they were completely focused on survival and didn't have time to care. The dusty floor of the Colosseum was stained red, and the smell of blood wafted around in clouds of dust, like the smell of red-hot iron. The gladiators roared their triumph as they slew the last of the warriors, and their voices echoed throughout the Colosseum. The sounds of drumbeats, applause, whistles, cheers, curses, and laughter filled the air.

The emperors rose to their feet and expressed their approval and support for the gladiators through applause and cheers. Once their orations had concluded, the gladiators proceeded through the reopened iron gates, whereupon the drumming ceased. The sole remaining auditory stimulus was the noise of the crowd. The general and emperors were no longer visible, so you decided to leave, as the noise was already causing a headache.

Your legs were aching as you descended the steps, but it was just as hard to get down as it was to get up. After all, you had watched from the top and it was quite high. You had never been up to such a high building before and you were certain that you would never go up again.

When you reached the ground floor, you looked around, but there was no one you recognized. Senators and other dignitaries were leaving the Coliseum one by one, talking among themselves about the evening banquet. You weren't sure that the General would take you there. He was nowhere to be seen, but you kept looking for him. When you took a few steps in the opposite direction to where the people were coming from, you were frightened that you might meet your brothers. When you saw a white shawl his wearing, you approached the General, who was talking to one of the senators. He turned his head and saw you. But you noticed the emperors were walking towards you from another direction. You reeled back in shock and turned on your heel. You were never prepared to see them so close. You strode through the exit and headed for the stairs. Since already climbed and descended quite a few stairs today your feet were no longer firmly planted on the ground. As you quickly went down, you suddenly lost your balance and found yourself on the ground. You shivered when you felt the cold stones against your skin and scowled at the women nearby who were laughing at you as you tried to figure out what had happened. You sat down on the marble stairs, heard his voice and footsteps hurrying down behind you, and soon felt the breeze from his shawl caress your back."Aya!" The General reached out, grasped your hand gently, and lifted you up.

"Are you alright?" He checked your feet and then your face, clearly concerned.

“Ah, as always, our General is a gentleman, isn't he, brother?”

Your heart nearly leaped out of your chest when you heard Caracalla's voice so close. They must have seen the General holding your hand so you immediately withdrew them from the General's and stepped back, bowing your head. However, they were already descending the stairs slowly, their gaze fixed on you.

“Indeed, aren’t you going to introduce us to this beautiful lady, General Acacius?” Geta asked curiously. From where he stood, he looked taller than the general.

“Is she your secret lover or something?” Caracalla chuckled, tilting his head to see your face clearly.

“My emperors, the carriage has arrived,” you could have sworn you'd heard that voice before. When you looked at her, the Empress Julia Domna stared at you raising her eyebrows and came a little closer. You averted your eyes, the feeling that you had seen this woman before took over your whole body and made you even more nervous than your brothers did.

“We just met the General's lover, Mother,” Caracalla laughed.

“Lover?” She sized you up and gave you a stunned look.

“My slave highness,” the General corrected him. You immediately bowed your head and greeted them formally.

“A slave? How fortunate you are, I have never seen such a beautiful slave,” Geta said, his eyes wide, and you felt him tense as the General's body moved slightly in front of yours. You felt grateful as you hid yourself behind his shawl.

“She reminded me of the Germans, remember?" he chuckled and covered his mouth.

Geta accompanied his laughter and punched him jokingly in the shoulder. Then he looked at you again. “Restrain yourself, brother, this is something completely different, you know what I mean?"

Caracalla huffed, “Tempting!"

You had no idea what they were talking about, and despite your best efforts to keep your eyes off Julia, she was always looking at you.

“Bring her to the banquet,” Caracalla said excitedly, clasping his hands together.

“But Highness, you know, women are not allowed there,” Julia said loudly.

“The Empress is right, only senators and patricians, just like any other banquets,” the General said with a sharp tone.

“How boring, I'd like her to serve me, pour me some wine, so I'd see a pretty face instead of those ugly blokes' faces all night.” Caracalla pursed his lips.

Geta sighed at his reaction and put his palm in his foreground. “You’re still a child brother, if you want a girl to get laid, I'll get you one after the banquet,” he turned his head to general. “Spending the night with another Roman's slave would be a bit of theft,” he said with a grin that showed all of his teeth at the General.

The General clenched his jaw and looked at him menacingly. You felt shivers run down your spine. Domna looked at them with concern and tried to ease the atmosphere by clapping her hands. “That's enough gentlemen, I'm famished, watching the games made me real hungry,” she took Geta's arm “Shall we?” She must have been pretty familiar with this kind of situation.

Geta turned to General one last time, ”We wanted to send you a new slave as a gift, tonight,” his eyes searching you up and down.

"That is very kind of you, but I must refuse,” the General said in a firm tone.

He inhaled deeply, "It's not hard to guess why," he smiled crookedly.

“Then I want it for myself, as you promised,” Caracalla whined, taking Geta's other arm.

“Share with me?”

“You just said it's a theft.”

“Cruel.”

They kept up their debate while they walked towards the waiting carriage. It seemed like the tension was slowly easing.

Once they were in their carriage and out of sight, the general turned to you with a look of frustrated annoyance on his face. Meeting your brothers for the first time was awkward, but it was clear that they had always been like that, and everyone, including their mother, accepted it as normal.

“Are they always like this?”

“Worse.”

“They're like spoiled little children,” you snapped.

He let out a little laugh, putting a hand to his mouth, which surprised you. You thought he'd scold you for criticizing the emperors in his presence. But he didn’t, also, his smile was so beautiful that you couldn't help but smile back.

“Have you seen the games? What do you think?” The General asked you curiously.

“Well a bit, bloody.”

He smirked. “But you're used to seeing blood,” he looked around as if he was waiting for something.

“Yes, but I don't like it when people cut each other mercilessly,” you said in a stubborn tone.

“It's called survival.”

“The game of survival,” you murmured. “I don't know, it doesn't feel right,” you said honestly.

“I'm a warrior too you know, I've fought there countless times,” he said with a proud smile on his face.

You looked at him in surprise, of course, you had expected it, but you shuddered when you imagined him there, fighting for his survival. Soon a carriage pulled up beside you both, he touched your shoulder.

"You'd better go to the villa now. They're expecting me at the banquet," he said.

“I want to say thank you, for bringing me here today,” you said softly as he helped you into the carriage.

“The pleasure is mine," he said gently, his eyes meeting yours made you smile undoubtedly.

He then gestured to the coachman and the horses began to move, pulling the carriage forward.

As the carriage carried you away from the General, you continued to observe him from beneath the curtain until his silhouette in white receded from your view.

The next morning, you opened your eyes and smiled when you heard the rooster crowing cheerfully. You sat up with a yawn, you saw that Norell was already up her mattress was empty, clearly started the day before you. You looked out the window while your mind returned to the events of the previous day. You thought about the ceremony, the games, the gladiators, the blood, your first sight of your arrogant and strange brothers, and that brown-skinned man, Macrinus. And of course, the General. When he stood with that golden crown on his head… You smiled to yourself, remembering him, and suddenly your cheeks flushed. You were surprised every time because you had never experienced such feelings in your body before. It was all so new to you.

On the other hand, you couldn't stop thinking about what Macrinus had said. You were sure he was planning something. It was hard to know if it would be right to tell the General everything, how he would react, who he would side with. Then you remembered the letter, and your body stiffened almost like a statue of Venus. It had completely slipped your mind that you had left it in his room. He didn't have a chance to touch his stuff yesterday because he arrived late at the villa, but he would definitely touch it eventually. You quickly tidied yourself and your hair and walked out of your room. As you stood there by the stairs leading up to the General's room, wondering what to do, Norell came up to you, carrying a tray with food on it.

“Are you taking this to the General?”

“Yes, he must be awake by now.”

“I'll take it to him,” you said and took the tray from her.

“Are you sure? The Master has warned us not to let you do too much work.”

“I'll talk to him, don't worry, I need to check his wound anyway,” you said smiling at her.

“Well, I was afraid of dropping the tray,” she gasped.

“What's wrong?” you put the tray on a nearby chair and went over to her, she was pressing her hand to her stomach.

“Well, it’s my moon,” she smiled at you, her freckled cheeks flushed.

“Oh, do you want me to give you an herbal mixture for the pain?”

“Would that help?”

“It works for me.”

You strode into the room and picked up your leather bag, looking through the few remaining bottles of medicine. You were running low on supplies. When you returned to her side, Norell was sitting in a chair, pressing her hands to her stomach.

You poured some of the medicine from the bottle into a bowl on the tray and crushed it, then poured a little wine into a cup, also from the tray, and diluted the mixture.

"That was the master's cup," Norell declared.

"I'll get a new one from the kitchen, drink this, and I'll be right back."

You had to cross to the other courtyard to get to the kitchen, where you had last entered the balneum. You felt your cheeks flush as you remembered the last time you were there with the General there. You returned to the main courtyard with a new cup, put it on the tray, and looked at Norell, who was grimacing as she drank the herbal concoction you had given her.

"This tastes awful," she complained.

"That's why you should drink it all, dear,” you smiled at her.

Then you picked up the tray and ascended the stairs, one by one. You stopped in front of the General's room, propped the tray up with one hand, and knocked on the door with the other. You opened the door and entered. He was sitting at his desk, looking at papers. He seemed busy. You saw the calamus pen and papers in his hand and knew you had to make a plan to get the letter before he found it.

When he looked up and saw you, he raised his eyebrows. "Have you decided to be my slave now?"

"Well, Norell is not feeling well. I'm helping her, at least for today." You put the tray down on the table and turned towards him, your gaze fixed on the wooden chest next to him.

"What's wrong? Is she alright?"

"It's a woman's issue that happens every month," you explained.

"Oh, I see," he murmured and returned to his papers.

“May I take a look at your wound? As your medicus, of course.”

"So you will appear to be both my slave and medicus today.” He put the pen on the desk, took the paper in his hand, folded it, stuffed it into the envelope, and sealed with pressing his own seal on the wax.

"I guess I am, for today," your eyes were still on the chest, wondering how to get the letter without him noticing.

His lips curled into a smile. "I feel blessed.”

Acacius stood, wearing a dark purple tunic with gold embroidery on the sleeves and collar. He walked over to his bed and sat on the edge of it, looking at you. You moved closer to him and had to bend down to check on his wound. Looking at him out of the corner of your eye, you put your bag on the bed, a bit away from him who had rolled up his tunic.

As you stood in front of him and leaned over him, he was surprised to feel the light breeze of your hair hit his face. He leaned back a little, but it gave him a better view of your breasts, he swallowed hard making him stunned. Then he turned his head away, even though it was so difficult for him, but he waited patiently. You were no different from him as you checked his wound, oblivious to everything, touching his skin made you tense every time. 

The General's wound was almost healed but you noticed a rash around the cut.

“Do you have any itching or pain, sir?”

“Itching, yes, a little, pain, no.”

There’s pain, thought Acacius, but it's not where my wound is, deep in my chest.

He turned his head towards you again and looked into your beautiful eyes shining like a gem under your long eyelashes, he embraced his pain meanwhile. But it wasn't just it. The general was experiencing a whole range of sensations he hadn't felt in a long time, and it was unlike anything he'd ever fully experienced with a woman. You unintentionally revived memories of his naive and callow youth, but he appeared to find it amusing.

“I need to make an ointment for that-“

But just as you straightened up to reach for your bag, you felt pressure and pain in your neck. Looking down, you realize that the chains of the necklace you were wearing were caught in the trimmings on the collar of the general's tunic, stuck in its threads.

He was taken aback, but perhaps not as much as you were. The expression on your face, as you tried to pull your neck backward in utter shock, made him giggle. Unfortunately, you found it difficult to remain calm and the first thing that came to your mind was to unlock the necklace. So when you reached your hands back behind your neck, you lost your balance and fell on top of him. The General was a trained soldier, with well-developed arm and back muscles and a body that could easily carry such a light load in that position. All in all, he was a man so when you fell and your breasts hit his muscular chest, feeling them beneath the thin fabric, made him fall backward onto the bed.

You gasped as you found yourself in this awkward situation without even realizing how it had happened. With a quick move, you put one hand on the bed to sit up and realized that the other was on the general's chest, you withdrew it and looked at his face to check his reaction. The general looked back at you, his dark brown eyes locked on yours, but you were blinking your eyes in surprise. You frantically tried to stand up, but your necklace, as if mocking you, wouldn't let you. He grabbed your shoulders and stopped you as you struggled over his body. You were making it difficult for him to remain calm with your movements, and he was starting to lose his patience.

“Easy, would you?” He growled. His hands reached behind your neck and he murmured as he unlocked the necklace. "Stay still. I can't restrain myself if you keep moving like this.”

Your face flushed like a crimson hue as you realized what he was talking about, gasped as you felt between your legs, beneath the fabric, a part of his body pressing against your womanhood.

“You really don't know how to behave around a man, you are so careless,” he chastised you.

Once your neck was free from the damn necklace, you stood up quickly, feeling a slight soreness in your neck.

“I've spent more time around men than you think, sir,” you mumbled, rubbing the back of your neck with your hand.

As he removed your necklace from the collar of his tunic, a few threads of the fabric snapped with it. “But you were dressing like them, they didn't know you were a woman,” he corrected you. ‘You have to be careful from now on, especially when you're dressed like this.’

"Forgive me, sir," you said, feeling a little embarrassed to look him in the face.

"Your face is as red as wine," he chuckled, sitting up in bed.

You bit your lower lip and pursed your lips, then went over to your bag and picked it up to make the ointment. The medicine bottles rattled as they came out of the bag, and the general looked at them curiously. "You've been carrying these in your bag all this time?" he asked.

"Yes, sir," you replied, uncapping the green bottle, shaking it, and pouring a few drops into the empty bowl on the tray. As you stirred and softened the ointment with your index finger you murmured, “I made all this myself, but it’s almost ran out.’

“Impressive.”

Once the ointment was ready to be applied, you took the bowl in your other hand and approached the general.

“Sir, I need to apply this ointment to the wound.”

“Careful and don't throw yourself on me this time,” he giggled as he grabbed the hem of his tunic and pulled it up once more.

You swallowed and cleared your throat, trying to stay calm, dipped the tip of your finger into the bowl, took some and applied it to the wound.

"You're making the same mistake again," he teased.

You frowned, not quite understanding what he was saying. You were sure you applied the ointment well, but looks like this was not the issue. When you looked at him, you caught him staring at your breasts. He grabbed your wrist and pulled you to him, his eyes meeting yours. His brown eyes were warm and intense, making your heart melt.

"Never bend over another man like that," he whispers.

As his warm breath brushed against your cheek, your heartbeat quickened. "I-I won't," you stammered.

He released your wrist, and you stepped back and put the bowl on the desk. “It needs to be applied at night too, I think you can handle it,” you said with your back turned. You glanced at the wooden chest out of the corner of your eye. It seemed like you wouldn't have a chance to get the letter, at least not while he was still in his room.

“Yes, I'm grateful,” said the general, standing up and coming over to you taking the bowl and sniffing it.

"The aroma is pleasing; what is this?"

You smiled at him. “Asphodeloideae (aloe vera), sir, it does indeed have a pleasing aroma. It has been demonstrated to accelerate the healing of burns and itching wounds. But I'm afraid it's about to run out, so just use it until it's finished.”

Acacius perched himself on the edge of this desk, looking at you. “Carrying all these bottles in your bag might be a little difficult. Besides, you say you're out of supplies, I will be traveling to the city and subsequently to the barracks tomorrow, would you like to come with me?”

“To the barracks?”

“Absolutely not,” his voice was loud and sharp. “I meant to say, I shall convey you to the city in my carriage, and return for you when I have finished my business.”

Pleased by his offer, “Sir, that would be great, thank you.”

He smiled softly at you and walked over to the table to eat the food you had brought for him. As you grabbed your bag and headed for the door to leave the room, he stopped you by extending his hand.

“Won't you join me?”

You turned your head to him. He pointed to the chair opposite him with his hand. “Have a seat, I need to make sure my medicus has eaten something.”

You smiled, did as he said, putting your bag down. Acacius picked up the wine cup, you reached for the decanter before him.

“Allow me, please.”

He smiled gratefully as you poured the wine from the decanter into his cup.

“You are getting better and better at being a slave, you are willing to fulfill all my needs. Except one.”

You almost spilled all the wine when you met his piercing eyes. You slowly placed the decanter on the tray. While you were calculating what to say, he put his hand on yours which holds the handle of the decanter.

"Don't you have any feelings for me?” He was looking at you from under his eyebrows, eagerly waiting for your answer.

His gaze shifted from your lips to your eyes, you lingered looking into his eyes, even if you said what you felt now, it was very difficult to predict what would happen next. You wondered if he would love you for who you really were.

“It's all so new to me also very hard to say anything for sure. But…"

“But?”

You were trying to think rationally under the influence of his gaze, but you were failing.

“I feel happy when I'm with you, and… I miss you when you're not around,” you admitted, feeling your cheeks burning.

“At least there's a silver lining.” Acacius smiled widely, lifted your hand, and placed a kiss on it.

It was an ordinary day in the streets of Rome, blessed by clear sky and sunshine. The sounds of birdsong were interspersed with those of the rooster. Some people wandered the streets on foot, chatting to each other, while others mounted horses and rode along the stone paths at a pace that caused the hooves of the horses to clatter against the buildings with a distinct echoing sound. The sound of a nearby blacksmith's hammer striking an anvil could be heard in the distance, accompanied by the voices of merchants trying to attract customers to their businesses and draw attention to the goods they were offering for sale. Women often inspected the exhibits before making a purchase and then had their slaves carry them home. Since the clothing and accessories worn by each group reflected their status, it was relatively easy to distinguish between social classes.

You and Norell were walking around the streets in your slave clothes and cloaks to buy something just like other Romans. You still couldn't get used to these clothes. When men and women stared at you, wished you were invisible, as you used to be.

You entered the market street and noticed the large crowd gathered in front of the stalls. There were pots, vegetables, fruits, fabrics, fish, butchers, and plants. The plants, herbs, and flowers on the stalls were very varied and fresh. Once you had purchased what you needed and placed it in your bags, you walked down the street once more, recounting to Norell the events of the previous day and your observations at the Colosseum, as she had requested.

"You know he's in love with you, right?" Norell looked at you suggestively through her yellowish eyelashes.

"Are you talking about the General?

“Is there someone else?" she teased, then inhaled deeply. "I wouldn't be surprised, you're quite attractive."

“Oh, Norell, please," you whined.

“I know you love him too, why are you avoiding my question?"

You smiled shyly, “I’m not sure what I feel. How can you be so sure of his feelings anyway?”

You both waited for a carriage to pass in front of you before crossing the street.

“Because I've known him since I was young and I've never seen the General like this before. Even Tullia is worried, she's angry with you, you know.”

You looked at her with your hazel eyes wide open. “Why? But I didn't do anything wrong, I did everything the General asked.”

Once the carriage had passed, you crossed the street and continued walking along the avenue where the west front of the Colosseum was visible. Norell took your arm.

“I don't know how it was where you come from, but here slaves have to fulfill their master’s every need. So Tullia thinks you’re not obeying him.” You were offended by being treated as a slave, but you couldn't blame her for being unaware of the truth about you. You turned your head to her and kept your voice low. “He said he would not touch me against my will.”

“Oh, that's why he's so upset then.”

You stopped and looked at her. “Upset?”

Her brown eyes looked sad. “Every night before I go to bed, I see him looking deep in thought at his balcony. And during the day, he's there, watching whatever you're doing. It's not like him.”

Was he? Somewhere deep in your chest, you felt a sharp, intense pain.

“Other slaves, the beautiful ones, are raped, killed or sold. Even among the nobles, there are those who are forced into marriage and have to sleep with a man they don't love. I know you've never been touched by a man before and neither have I. But if I found someone who could love me the way he loves you, I would give myself to him.” She blinks at you.

You were absolutely certain of her sincerity, but your situation was quite different from that of other slaves, even from all other Roman women.

“I suppose I should confess my feelings to myself first,” you murmured.

“My Lady!”

You and Norell turned to see who was speaking. You were surprised to see Macrinus standing next to you in his cloak.

"I was hoping to meet you," he said, looking around, then came closer. "But, you are very careless," he said in a low voice. "You attract too much attention."

You couldn't understand what he was saying. "Sir, why do you seem to be hiding?”

"I'm lurking because I've been following you for some time, and luckily I found you without anyone noticing."

"Why did you follow me?"

"We need to talk, but not here. We are too exposed.”

“What's going on, Aya? Who is this man?” You forgot for a moment that Norell was looking at you both in confusion.

Macrinus looked at her and then at you then he turned his head to the street.

“Norell, I'll tell you everything later,” you said, touching her shoulder then turned to Macrinus. “Sir, I don't think it’s the right time-”

He grabbed your arm gently. “You don't realize how much danger you are in, Julia suspects something and it's only a matter of time before she finds you.”

“How do you mean?”

"I'll tell you everything, but right now we need to move." He gestured to you as he walked to the other side of the street, you nodded and pulled Norell's arm, you felt uncomfortable going without her.

"Are you going to tell me what is happening? Who is this man?"

"Trust me and wait, I'll tell you everything at once, I promise."

She wasn't convinced, but she nodded and remained silent.

You and Norell followed Macrinus for a few more streets, maintaining a safe distance from the people around you. It didn't take long for you to notice that the streets were getting quieter. There were fewer people around, and the streets were narrower and more secluded. After passing through a narrow, dead-end street, Macrinus stopped, threw back his hood, and turned to you. When you realized Norell was squeezing your arm, you looked at her. Seeing her looking at a structure at the end of the street, petrified. You turned your head to that direction to find out what was worrying her. It was a large but untidy two-story house. The curtains were blowing out of the windows in the wind, they were all red.

“Gods, it’s…whore house," Norell muttered.

You turned to Macrinus in disbelief. At that moment, two men approached you from down the street, surveyed you both, and continued on their way, laughing.

“I'm sorry, my lady, but this is the safest place to talk.”

"To talk? What are you planning? How could you think I would be in such a place?"

Your voice echoed through the cobbled streets as Macrinus approached you, his expression grave.

"I can't speak to you safely anywhere else, your appearance would draw attention if we were in a tavern or other. But this place is too remote for anyone to think of it, you know what I mean, and nothing will happen to you, the one who runs this place knows me and I trust her."

When Norell grabbed your arm, you moved a little away from Macrinus, closer to the wall.

“Look Aya, I don't know what's going on, but this is not good, if the General finds out about this-.”

"I know. He knows my real family, and I trust him.” You lied. “Don't worry, you go to the place where we'll meet with the carriage and wait for me. I don't want you to go there with me."

"I don't think you should go in there either."

You gave Macrinus a quick look, then turned to Norell. "I know, it won't take long, I promise."

Norell looked at you and Macrinus with concern.

"If you won't be there in time, I'll tell the General everything," she said, sounding more like she wanted Macrinus to hear him. You looked at him in panic, but he didn't look surprised. You knew that moment you had to talk to him, no matter what. You were almost certain that he was planning to threaten the General through you.

Once Norell turned the corner into another alley, you turned to Macrinus. He smiled at you, turned, and walked towards the house. He no longer seemed nervous, as if he comes here, and walks through here often. You, however, were tense, feeling abandoned by Norell's leaving and like you'd put yourself in great danger.

Macrinus lifted the iron knocker of the big wooden door and rapped twice. At that moment, you tensed even more as you heard voices coming from inside, your face flushing red with embarrassment. A short, poorly dressed man opened the door and looked at Macrinus, then at you. When his eyes met yours, you looked away.

"Tell Juturna I'm here."

The man gave you one last look and went inside. Macrinus gestured for you to come in as he moved quickly down the corridor. You swallowed and deliberately ignored the voices as you walked in.

“Did it really have to be here?”

“I'm sorry, I understand why you're uncomfortable, but it really is safer than you think.”

Macrinus smirks, but you grow more and more nervous, everyone here men, and women is almost naked even in the mural pictures dyed on the walls. The voices were getting louder and louder when a middle-aged woman came running towards you. She wore too much make-up and smiled broadly at Macrinus.

"Sire, how good to see you again."

"Private room now."

She tilted her head to look at you with wide eyes, you turned your head and wrapped your cloak tightly around your arms, covering your body. She pressed her hand to her chest, "Gods, it's been years since such a beauty drops in here.”

"Don't overstep your bounds, she's a lady!" Macrinus scolded him.

"Apologies, sire. Have your way to up the stairs and the boys will show you to your room," she said with a grin.

Following Macrinus into the hallway, seeing some young girls, half-naked, talking amongst themselves. As you passed them, they looked at you strangely. You felt sorry for them, but also a bit disgusted.

A young boy gestured to the room, and Macrinus invited you in after he had entered. You were almost startled when the door closed behind you. Looked around quickly to observe, red curtains, orange bedspread and pillows, overturned wine cups and fruits in a bowl on the table, and various colored fabrics on the chairs. And the smell... You couldn't stop thinking about what had happened in this room. It made you feel sick.

Macrinus saw your unease and pulled out the chair for you to sit down.

"Have a seat, my lady."

You gave him a look that said you weren't going to be pushed around and sat down on the chair, crossing your arms to avoid touching anything else. "Tell me what I need to know. I don't have much time."

Macrinus took another wine cup from the other table in the corner of the room, poured wine into, and handed it to you. You made a gesture with the back of your hand and shook your head no.

"Are you afraid of the General?" he asked as he sat down in the chair opposite you. "I know you're staying at his villa. How long has he known?”

"He doesn’t! I can assure you that the General has nothing to do with it.”

Macrinus crossed his legs and took a sip of his wine.

"Of course he does. He'll take you to Geta himself as soon as he finds out."

You thought about him. Would he really do that? You couldn't find the answer, and you hated it.

"The general is a man of honor. He will understand when I tell him."

"Are you saying you can lure him to our side?"

"Our side?" You leaned over the chair towards him, "What is your purpose?"

"It's simple. I'm going to present you to the Senate and get them to recognize you unanimously. You will be formally designated as the heiress to the imperial throne. I really wonder about the emperors’ face when they find out."

Macrinus laughed and took a quick sip of wine.

"How do I know you're not lying to me and you're actually on the emperors’ side at this moment?"

Macrinus narrowed his eyes and looked at you. "I am close to Caracalla. He trusts me." He extended his hand toward you, placing one of the red grapes from the table in it. "I have him right in the palm of my hand, right here, and when the time comes…" He closed his palm and squeezed the grape, the pinkish juice of the grape slowly flowed between his fingers and dripped on the floor. You looked at him in disgust as he ate smashed grapes and licked his own palm.

“And what do you want from me? What will you gain if the Senate recognizes me?”

“I promised your father I would restore peace to Rome, and after he sent you away, he asked me to find Vicius and make sure you were safe. So as I stated before, I went to Egypt to find you, Vicius managed to hide you, he didn't believe me, he was very good at covering his tracks. No wonder he kept you hidden all this time. On the way back, news reached me of your father's death in York, and by the time I got back to the capital, Caracalla and Geta had declared their empire.”

That was four years ago, and it was no coincidence that on that very day, your uncle took you from home to the Valetudinarium in Alexandria. But you still weren't sure whether he had done it to protect you from Macrinus or from your emperor brothers or Julia.

“You said Julia suspected something.”

Macrinus was a man of very calm demeanor; it was hard to tell from his expression what he was thinking. “If Julia finds out you're alive, she'll take your life without a second thought.”

You swallowed hard, you already disliked her when you met her on the day of the ceremony.

“But I'm a woman, I can't be a threat to the throne,” you said looking at him, Macrinus put his cup on the table and leaned forward.

“But if one day you give birth to a son, my lady, you will be the greatest threat of all. She is a woman who keeps the General and her sons in balance, do not underestimate her. She wants Acacius in the Senate, to gain power over me.” He reached for a bunch of grapes and plucked one. “But I have secured my position, and with you we can save Rome from them for good.” He popped a grape into his mouth and smiled at you as he chewed.

“What about the General, what will happen to him?”

He stopped chewing. “He has to choose. But before, he could be charged with treason for hiding you in his villa.”

“No, I told you, there’s nothing like that, he doesn't know about the letter. He doesn't know who I really am,” you yelled at him.

“Do you really think emperors would care about that?”

You knew the answer, your heart began beating in your throat. It wasn't fair that the General should face such an offense because of you.

"If you go to the Senate, there'll be a trial and a judgment, and we'll win. No doubt about it. I'll send the word tonight. The court will convene the day after tomorrow. I can hide you until then," he said, standing up and holding out his hand to you.

You regarded him with a determined expression. "I am grateful for your kindness, but I believe I will be safer with the General, I would like to leave now before he finds me here. Moreover, I am not yet ready to trust you fully."

Macrinus laughed. "My lady, I believe that attitude will serve you well in front of the Senate. It might be beneficial to adopt a similar stance.”

As you left the room, you felt a strong inclination to descend the stairs as quickly as possible, in order to avoid the rather pungent odours and sounds. As you passed the rooms one by one, you heard what seemed to be a cry. Out of the corner of your eye, you thought you saw a face you had seen before. You stopped, and when you wanted to look again to make sure, you turned your head, and lifted the torn red curtain blocking the entrance of the room to see her face. It was her, Decima, the girl you met on the ship and with whom you had the good fortune to become friends. You shared your secrets with her, and you had always assumed that she had been sold to a wealthy man. You hoped that she had been happy until now. You were so wrong. You felt your body trembling as your eyes began to well up with tears.

"Are you all right, my lady?" Macrinus asked, concern evident in his voice which came to you in a blur.

"Decima!" You ran into the room beside her, grabbing her shoulders. She was startled, then looked at you with a surprised look on her face and started to cry. You hugged her and pressed her head to your chest.

"Have you been here all this time?”

She was visibly distraught, and your heart ached for her. "I thought you had forgotten me," she sobbed.

"Never. I thought that nobleman had bought you. What happened?"

"No, he didn't," she mumbled, shaking her head.

Without a second thought you grabbed her arm and pulled her out of the room.

Macrinus stepped in front of you. “My lady, you can't do this, she belongs here now.”

"No way! I'm taking her with me!" You barked and pushed him aside, pulled Decima by the arm ran to the stairs, and kept walking while ignoring the murmuring, and shouting coming behind you.

“Hey! How you? She's my slave, I paid eight thousand sesterces for her!” Juturna, who owned the place got up from her seat and came over to you, she was angry. Two guards at the door came in, blocking your way with a threatening and mocking demeanor.

Macrinus came running behind. “My lady, please, let her go. Those are the rules here. I’m begging you.”

It never felt right, you didn't want to leave Decima there to her fate. Then, someone came running up to Macrinus and whispered something in his ear. He tensed, cursed angrily, and turned his head to you. “Acacius is here. I need to go. Please don't do anything dull,” he warned you. Then he made his way back down the corridor and stepped through the door that led to the rear entrance.

You swallowed hard when you heard the General’s name, you had to think fast, decide fast. Then you opted to follow your heart, rather than your mind. As you grabbed Decima's hand and headed for the door, it opened with a thud and the General stormed in. You both regarded each other with surprise, but his expression soon became one of anger.

“General Acacius, sir!” Juturna approached him.

He didn't hear her, didn't look around, he was as angry as you'd ever seen him, with a piercing gaze that took hold of yours. As he reached out and grabbed your arm, you pulled back with all your strength. But the second time he grabbed again and pulled roughly, you couldn't find the strength to pull back. But you didn't intend to let go of Decima's hand either.

“Sir, please tell her something, she's trying to take my slave.” The woman bowed her head in front of the general and squinted at you.

“She is my friend, please help me, sir,” you said pleadingly.

"I'm a Roman citizen, and this one belongs to me. You clearly don't know the laws. Give her to me now," she said, grabbing Decima's other arm and pulling her along.

“No!”

“Let her go, Aya!” the General roared, but you didn't listen to him. Before you could even think about reaching for Decima, he grabbed your arm again and pulled you to outside, but you struggled with all your strength. The General let out a low growl, and before you knew it, the ground gave way beneath your feet. He grabbed you and threw you over his shoulder. Your face hit the leather armor on his muscular back with a thump, leaving you gasping in surprise. You struggled to get free, but he held on tight, carrying you out.

“No! Let me down! Please!” No matter what you said, it didn't stop him, you tried to lift your head to look at Decima, but when you saw that the door was closed, you got angry.

You started punching his back, but it was like hitting a stone wall. He tightened his muscular arm around the back of your thighs, right near your butt. As he carried you, your loud voice echoed through the whole street. People in the street looked at you curiously as they saw the general had come with you over his shoulder to the carriage. You gave up struggling, and he set you down.

Your hair was a mess, but all you had on your mind was getting back to Decima. He saw you looking back, grabbed your arm, and put you and then himself into the carriage. He ordered the coachman to drive and then he started his horses. He sat you down next to him and never let go of your arm. When the carriage moved, he loosened his grip and turned his head towards you. But you were looking the other way. Norell sitting across from you, her lips tightly closed, so ashamed to look the general in the face, blaming herself. No one spoke the whole way, only the sound of the wheels rolling on the stony ground echoed inside the carriage.

Upon arrival at the villa, Norell regarded the General and you with a timid expression before exiting the carriage. You didn't move, your anger still raw. In the end, your stubbornness made him give up and he got out. "Come out now," he ordered.

He was waiting for you with his hand extended. You inhaled and stood up, but instead of taking his hand, you grabbed the side of the car as you stepped out. You walk briskly into the Villa's garden and leave him behind. As you came into the garden, you saw Tullia and Norell whispering to each other. You glanced at them, and they looked over at the general, who was walking quickly behind you. They seemed tense. As you were heading to your room, a strong hand grabbed your wrist. He pulled you to the stairs this time you didn’t resist. He led you to his room and closed the door.

He turned to you, first his brown eyes met yours and then he calculated what to say or tried to remain calm.

“You will never go there again, do you hear me?”

You glanced over at the balcony, and he stepped a little closer. “How could you go there? How could you put yourself in danger like that? What were you thinking?”

“She's my friend,” you murmured, looking at the setting sun on the horizon through the window.

“Even so, there's nothing you can do for her, the rules apply to everyone.”

“That could have been me,” you turned your head to him. “I could have been one of those poor girls if you-” you swallowed, your voice was trembling.

Acacius' expression softened as he moved closer to you. "I'm truly sorry about your friend, but you need to let it go. I need you to promise me you won't go there again." His brown eyes were bathed in the orangish sunlight streaming through the window. They were looking at you with intensity, delving deeply into your soul. You wondered how you could still be so stubborn, defying him like that. You closed your eyes and crossed your arms, realizing your disobedience, he grabbed your shoulders. "I may be a gentle master to you, but don't even think to test my patience.”

At that moment, the anger that was welling up inside you was trying to get out.

“I am not your slave! I never have been! I'm-”

You almost would tell him everything, but not feeling ready yet, not like this. He was far from being surprised, it’s like he knew you were going to say that.

“As for that, I couldn't find any proof that you were a Roman citizen,” Acacius pulled his hands back, “I recently sent a letter to the governor in Egypt regarding your uncle's funeral. I have received a reply from him today. It seems that he does not have any relatives, only his wife and himself. Interestingly, there is no record of the name Aya.”

It was rather unexpected. You were unprepared for how quickly he discovered the truth. As he approached, you instinctively braced yourself and took a step back. You winced when your back hit the stone wall. Acacius placed his palms on the wall, either side of your head. His brown eyes darkened as he leaned in, almost close enough to kiss you. You placed your hands against the wall behind you, feeling the coolness of the stone in your palms and on your skin, in an attempt to gather your strength. His eyes locked onto yours as if he were questioning you.

“Who are you?”

thank you everyone for all likes and comments <3

@myownwholewildworld @orcasoul @pedroslut4eva @immyowndefender @lailathepedritofan @screechingchildfury @shinymusicpanda

if anyone wants me to tag them please comment :) thank you all <3

[bhaalsdeepbat]

sometimes when people describe astarion as pathetic, they'll list all his more feminine characteristics rather than like

it's fucking pathetic of him to be mad if you save the gnomes, even if you understand why he disapproves it. It's still fucking pathetic. he's also extremely pathetic when he ascends and starts becoming more like Caz, but it's bc it's pathetic that the power goes to his head like that simply bc he would rather insulate himself with power than allow himself to face his past and overcome it.

not because he deserves nice things and finery.

[cherryxblossxms]

Cucking Buggy is all fun and good but part of me wants cuck…. Well, more like voyerist Mihawk. Poly Crossguild and the first time he just wants to watch you’re unsure what’s even going on, Crocodile started to kiss and bite down your neck and Buggy has been making whiny noises into your ear all evening and USUALLY this would be the point where Mihawk sidles up to you and takes your hand to kiss it gently and suggest taking things to the bedroom… but now he’s just sitting there in his armchair, watching with that unblinking gaze as you three are crawling naked upon the silk sheet.

He takes a sip of his wine as Buggy has you sit on his face, tonguefucking your hole like a hungry dog, muffled voice still loud between your thighs. “You seem to be enjoying yourself clown. You’re usually so desperate to stuff that cock into any hole but you haven’t even touched yourself yet. Are they really that blissful? You look like you could stay like that for hours.” You feel Buggy’s nose press against you as he nods and the vibrations of his desperate noise of affirmation against your skin. “Delightfully desperate.” Mihawk concludes, swiveling his glass.

However, Buggy’s pleasure is short lived as Crocodile yanks you of him. “Delightful.” He repeats dryly, ignoring the clowns whines. As he throws you face down, ass up into the pillows and angles himself at your hole he drawls.“But I won’t leave this bed till I am satisfied and unlike you two-“ His cock enters you, slowly enough to not make it hurt but abruptly and hard enough to surprise you and make you gasp. “I won’t be pleased by just watching alone.”

As he sets a hard pace that has you panting in short staccatos and Buggy scrambles across the bed to be closer to you once again, Mihawk tusks dismissively. “Such a brute. No patience at all. You truly are an animal Crocodile.”

You never really know when the mood to just watch will take Mihawk, sometimes he joins in anyways halfway through the act, sometimes he doesn’t even touch himself while watching. Some nights you get fucked by the other two men till you can’t think straight anymore, only faintly feeling Mihawks chm decorating your face and chest and other nights he will only assist with aftercare before wishing you all a goodnight and excusing himself to his quarters. You haven’t managed to find the pattern in these encounters yet. It’s a mystery, just like the man watching you so intently himself.

I'm sorry this reply is SO late, but I have been thinking about this message since I got it because it's just so good.

Mihawk is DEFINITELY the voyeur type. Whether or not there are other people involved, it doesn't matter.

Even though he's not touching you amidst the foursome, it feels like he's definitely in charge (though Croc would beg to differ). Making those snide comments, commenting on how fucked out you look, advising Buggy on how needy you're starting to look and clearly the clown needs to step up his game. Especially if he's not even touching himself, he just exudes that powerful energy that makes you feel like you're in the palm of his hand.

And then with Crocodile, I feel like even though only one of them is touching you, you can feel the effects of their conflicting ways of loving you and making you melt, the competition between them to see who can affect you more. Will it be the masterful physical touch of Crocodile, the way his cock moulds you to fit him perfectly and he knows exactly what buttons to press to make you melt for him? Or will it be the pure dominant energy of Mihawk, who doesn't even have to lay his hand on you for you to feel his effects, the way your heart speeds up and body starts throbbing for him?

And absolutely, even if he doesn't touch you once during the whole thing, he will give you the best aftercare. Bringing you water, a towel, or maybe even having a bath prepared in advance and washes you. Even if he's still hard from watching, even if you try to tell him you're happy to take care of his needs too, he knows your body is exhausted from everything and only wants to dote on you now.

[batsplat]

Not to want to get you into hot waters but one of the blogs on here shared Marc’s onboard from the 2015 sepang kick incident and I’m a bit unsure how anyone could watch that and not consider it a deliberate kick? Really don’t want anyone to get mad because I’m no expert so maybe there’s something about Valentino’s movements that allows for the “accidental” kick option but if so, what is it? Because as a layman, watching it… I wish it were possible to show that video to Valentino and make him explain exactly how that kick was not on purpose…

I think it's genuinely ambiguous! this is what's interesting about it, right - if you look at the onboards and the helicopter shots there's a decent chance that depending on what you watch you'll end up with a pretty different view on it, and it's inarguable that from certain angles it looks incredibly like a kick. it's also inarguable that whether valentino kicked marc or not, he did deliberately attempt to run him wide, which you can see was intentional by how he looks behind him just before they make contact. it's still not clean riding whichever way you look at it, which is why he got the penalty

I'm going to defer to someone else's opinion here myself (you'll find I link back to this site a lot and broadly consider it trustworthy), from a bloke who does very much believe valentino was in the wrong that weekend. this is in the aftermath of the fim requesting that honda doesn't release data which would have 'proven' valentino kicked marc in an entirely futile attempt to make the controversy die down. the piece talks first about what data like this even involves, including this bit:

the main point here is that the data isn't going to tell you whether valentino kicked him or not, because that's not something you can actually read in data. I have another ask that's vaguely related to this sitting in my drafts, but it's always been one of the most interesting elements of all the controversy in late 2015 - both sides attempting to definitively prove the unprovable with a few numbers. let's quickly bring in what arguments both sides as well as race direction made in the immediate aftermath from the post-race piece by the same author:

that's valentino's explanation, right, marc's handlebar hit valentino's knee, which caused the leg movement as well as the crash. a little more from the immediate post-race write-up:

basically, the view here is that the two bikes make contact - and as a result of where marc hits valentino, valentino's foot is dislodged from the foot peg, catching marc's handlebars in the process. again, none of this actually exonerates valentino. whether there was a kick or no kick, you are NOT allowed to run another rider off-track! whether valentino literally wanted marc to crash or not, this was always going to be a possible consequence of his actions - which he would have known was the case! it is obviously worse to kick someone, partly because it just feels like a particularly egregious offence, but there is no version of this story where valentino comes out with a clean scorecard

as the 'post-honda promising to release conclusive evidence' piece goes on to say:

of course, all this is just one bloke's view. I don't think it's unreasonable to believe that valentino did kick marc. but I also struggle to see how it's a clear cut case for the prosecution. again, however, it really is important to stress that valentino by his own admission was engaging in an extremely dubious move. the kick would be the cherry on the icing, if you will, but running another rider so wide that you are probably trying to force them to leave the track is generally not considered acceptable behaviour. the kick question is very much something everyone has to decide for themselves - or not! I still think it's the ambiguity that helps make the whole thing so interesting, that every single clash between the two of them that year still has so many unanswered questions. that both sides have their own unshakeable views of events - sometimes close to 'reality' and sometimes a little less so, sometimes reasonable and sometimes anything but. it's the subjectivity and the fallibility of the human capacity to understand events that we ourselves have experienced - it's this lack of knowability for both outsiders and insiders that makes it so endlessly fascinating and rewarding to analyse. even the two men themselves cannot completely understand what happened that day, what happened in those few seconds, and they never will. we're all in the dark, in the end

[soobberries]

Do you think beomgyu would be into thigh riding?? / newbb anon

Anon I'm so sorry it took me so long to get back to you 😔🥺 I saved these photos for this ask so long ago, because to answer your question

YES HOLY SHIT YES.

I'm going to be looking at this from the perspective of reader riding his thighs, but if anyone wants me to go into Beomgyu being the one riding... Ahem... Feel free to ask hehe!

Although! I don't think he'd be down for it all the time. It fully depends on his mood.

On one hand, if he's in a good mood and wants to tease just to see your pretty looking flustered face, he'll be more than happy to indulge in it. He'll thrive off your whines or squirms, some days opting to just sit back and watch you try and get off, laughing at the way you struggle to fully get the right speed or friction without his help, other days keeping a firm grip on your hips as he pushes you over his thigh at a rough pace, bouncing his thigh for further friction just to see how many times he can try to make you cum just from his thigh...

In other words, he'd have a lot of fun and be in quite the mean dom state... However, if he's tired, maybe he'd be a nice dom, and just coo at you while partially aiding in helping you get off, bonus is that when he is tired, he'll keep his pants on and just chuckle when you get shy over the mess you leave on it, not that he minds.

Now there's other times though (I think this would be the funnest moods to catch him in but... He would make you feel small no doubt 💀) where I feel if he's irritated but unsure of how foul his mood actually is, he may start off with a 'yeah go ahead, ride my thigh' and then half way through get so annoyed or frustrated with an array of things, ranging from how long it's taking you to get off, the area you're rubbing on, whether he has clothes on or not, idk things would bug him and he'd just grip your hips to a still and be over the whole ordeal, using his hands or dick instead to help you because he's just not having it with the whole thigh riding thing on that day. Either way at least you cum heh, but he'll be angsty and it'll feel like he's scolding you directly, even though it's more the environment and things in general that's irritating him.

So there'll also be times when he just is either super impatient, not in a mood for much foreplay or any sort of thing that will prolong getting to the main event of sex, or when he genuinely forgets the appeal. He knows there's times when he and you both enjoy it but if he's in a specific mood he'll just genuinely be like 'but why... Let's just do something else? Let me eat you out or grind on my crotch directly??? Let's actually just fuck.'

But I assure you that he's not always like this. There's other times when he'll suggest it instead! Suddenly having an urge to see you rocking your hips against his thighs wanting nothing more to squeeze your ass in that moment. Or when you're being a but too touchy with him, hinting that you'd like some attention, he'd simply raise a brow, smirking before asking if you want to ride his thigh.

So yes he would be into it... But also no! When he's into it, however, he will definitely put all his energy and focus into it!

Also just an extra lil thing to think about is how he might just like the feeling of you touching him. Just the skin on skin (not literally per say). Just having you on him and feeling you move on him. Getting used for pleasure just turns him on, or rather, he just feels very good knowing he makes another person feel good. On your average thigh riding session heh, he'd have a firm grip on your waist yet it's in a gentle manner, his head thrown back, eyes shut as he let's out soft groans and sighs occasionally letting his heavy-lidded eyes open to stare intently at you, memorizing every little facial expression you make and experimentally bouncing or clenching his thigh to see the reaction it gets out of you, smiling to himself before closing his eyes and getting lost in the feeling, praising you for doing so well.

That's just my take on it and I'm still not sure if I agree with it but for the most part, that's what I'd say hehe!

[swordswoman97]

So that lore then

First off I think it's safe to say Aimsey is definitely dead now. There's no way he's coming back from that. It's not happening.

But no one else died! That's good news! Less good news is that in her desperation to save Aimsey and Guqqie, Michela unleashed the purple corruption on the faction isles. I do find it interesting that we hear the voice from the corruption almost apologize to the pirates before rushing off, as if it's regretful for whatever pain it's going to cause but feels it has to or something? I'm really interested to see what's gonna happen.

We also see who I'm guessing is the leader of the hooded figures, I believe Aimsey called them the church? She's sitting on a throne and she's wearing a dress very similar to their robes, so I'm assuming for now she's probably the leader.

Right now I'm guessing both the corruption and the church are gonna end up causing problems, whether a case of gray and gray morality or at least one group is gonna be an example of "the road to hell is paved with good intentions." Either way I think both are gonna end up playing an antagonistic role.

We also get full confirmation that the ice wall Sausage and Martyn found circles the entire faction isles, and it's also going to play a role in the story.

My current theory is that the ice wall's presense is the main source of conflict between the church and the corruption. The corruption is trying to break through or down the ice wall for whatever reason and the church is trying to ensure the ice wall stays whole. Now why exactly either side wants this, I'm unsure. I'm also unsure which side is right in this, or if instead neither is entirely right.

Owen's also confirmed he's reworking P!Owen's character and whether the next video or the next couple streams are gonna be more information about her and her backstory, it was kind of unclear. She's still gonna be her, but I think details of her backstory have been reworked so I'm interested to see where's going with that.

He's also mentioned the next pirates episode on the channel is gonna be a lot of animations telling the story from Bek killing Owen to today's stream, so killing Bek, finding the bounty guild, that promised scene of P!Owen and Gabriel getting drinks, Gabriel's disappearance, and presumably the trip to the island that led to Scott seeing Aimsey. I'm a bit torn on this, on one hand I definitely understand Owen wanting to catch up but on the other I do feel like at the very least the hunt for Gabriel deserves to be it's own episode, even making it one full episode would involve cutting a lot out cause that quest sequence took about an hour. Owen is gonna have to cut a whole lot out if he wants to fit that and all the other stuff in one episode, unless he just makes a fucking giant episode. Either way, there's a lot to look forward to.

[colepalmersrealgf]

i bet on losing dogs || mizzen + coral

Coral sat on the rubble with the young boy in her lap. She stroked his hair gently, trying to comfort him. She didn't know why she felt the need to be there for him, but she knew he didn't have anyone else to rely on in the arena.

|| my baby, my baby ||

Maybe it was his young age that made her feel protective of him. Whatever the reason, she was determined to keep him safe, even if it meant sacrificing her own chances of winning the games.

The boy groaned in her lap, his head killing him. He was hungry and knew he would have to deal with his hunger for a long time. Unless he killed someone, that was the only way he could get sponsors. His mentor would then send him food.

|| you're my baby, say it to me ||

The older girl hugged him tightly, trying to calm him down. She noticed how he shivered even though he was wearing a sweater vest, a long-sleeved shirt, and long pants. Every part of his body was covered except his face.

She didn't question how he was still cold, but she understood. It was a large arena with no source of heat at all. She felt cold herself, but she wanted to prioritize the boy's needs over her own.

|| baby, my baby ||

"Coral?" he whispered.

She hummed in response.

"Is it time to leave yet? I wan' go home," he mumbled to her, his speech slurring at the end of his sentence.

|| tell your baby that i'm your baby ||

Her heart almost broke in half after hearing that last sentence. She wasn't sure what to say to him. She couldn't lie; it would break his heart. But she couldn't tell him the truth, the horrible truth.

"... I'm not sure,-" she cuts herself off, thinking about whether she should tell him the truth. She coughs, quietly.

"I'm not sure, Mizzen. I'm sorry, I wish I could say but I can't but don't worry about it. I'll make sure you get out." she gives him a soft smile which then quickly turns into a frown.

She looked up to see Tanner and Treech arguing, again. She didn't know what they were arguing about but she didn't necessarily care.

The boy in her arms started to squirm, he couldn't get any sleep so he decided he might as well get up. The red-haired girl looked at him, wondering why he was getting up.

He stood up straight and slightly stumbled to his side, nearly falling. She jumped up and caught him. She gave him a look as if she was saying 'be careful'. He just looked at her.

|| i bet on losing dogs ||

|| Time Skip ||

It was just the two of them left. Coral and Mizzen. Sure, they were both happy to be alive but they knew, deep down, that there was only one way this could end.

He sat a few meters away from her, unsure of what her intentions were. He wanted to be with her, in her lap again, her keeping him a bit warmer and feeling secure. But he knew that was unlikely. He didn't want to die, not yet.

She watched him from where she was sitting, she knew what he thought of her but he was wrong. She wouldn't hurt him, she didn't even want to think about it.

Coral stood up from the hard ground and looked at him. His breathing had started to quicken.

"Mizzen, please ... don't be scared." she cried, moving slowly towards him.

He began crawling backward as fast as his small, cut hands would move him.

|| i know they're losing and I'll pay for my place ||

"Don't hurt me, Coral. I want to go back to mama." he mumbled, small stones piercing his fragile hands.

She looked down at her trident and then looked at the younger boy...

It felt like the whole world stopped for him. It was just the two of them. Well, kind of ...

|| by the ring ||

Mizzen looked at her, the blood was spilling out of her body. She fell back, tears dropped from her eyes. He pushed himself up and ran towards her.

"No! Coral ... Coral, get up." he screamed at her, she didn't respond but instead coughed more blood up.

|| where i'll be looking in their eyes when they''re down ||

"Please, Coral. I'm sorry ... I didn't mean it. I'm not scared..." the tears just poured out onto her lifeless body. this was all his fault, he should've believed her.

A few minutes later he felt arms dragging him away from her body. He screamed for as long as he could.

He had won ... but at what cost?

[stargazer-liz]

Serendipity (Poe Dameron x Original Female Character) Chapter IV: A Reminder of the Past

Masterlist

The planet D'Qar, Outer Rim, 34 ABY

"You're alive. I can't believe it, you're alive."

Yeah, she was. Obviously. Why wouldn't she be?

"Finn buddy, I think you need to sit down. Did you hit your head or something?" Poe pointed to an empty seat at their table, feeling genuine concern for his friend. The pilot had no idea what was going on but neither did Finn, he thought. At least that's what it looked like. 

That seemed to shake him out of his shock and the former stormtrooper hurried towards them, not caring about his abandoned tray. Once he had sat down, the cafeteria went back to minding their own business, sensing that this was personal. 

"I'm sorry, do I know you?" Sora asked, not meaning to sound rude. Pure confusion was all she felt as she tried to remember where she had seen him before. Despite her efforts, nothing came to mind.

Finn looked her up and down, searching for something only he knew. As if sensing it made her uncomfortable, he cleared his throat and locked eyes with her. There was a warmth in his brown eyes she had never seen before and she briefly wondered how this person could have ever been a stormtrooper to begin with. "I'm sorry," he quickly said. "You probably won't remember me. You know, with the white helmet and armor."

"You have to be a bit more specific. I've seen many stormtroopers in my life." 

"Right, of course." Clearing his throat once again, he leaned forwards, lowering his voice. "It's just that the last time I saw you, I used every last bacta patch we had on you. Still, I had no idea whether it was going to be enough. You were basically dead already."

Suddenly, something clicked in her head. The pieces fit together perfectly. Her mouth fell open slightly and she blinked at Finn, taking time to process this revelation. "It was you. You saved me. But...how?"

None of her friends dared to speak. They were all much too engrossed in the conversation between the smuggler and the newest member of the Resistance. "It wasn't easy. Had to hide you with our cargo to get you onto the ship. I knew the escape pods were the only place no one would bother checking, so I healed you there as best as I could. When we were over Jakku, I tricked the systems, so that your escape pod could leave undetected," Finn explained, sparing Poe a quick glance. The pilot had been listening intently, gazing at him with a proud smile. "I wasn't sure you had made it safely. Not until now."

Sora didn't know how to answer. She was rendered speechless. The smuggler knew she had to thank him but couldn't find the right words. 

It was Revan's turn to speak. He crossed his arms over his chest, eyeing Finn with an unknown emotion. "So you were there. On Atrisia. Why did you choose to go back for her?"

"I suppose the same reason why you deserted. Because I was sick of the blood on my hands."

Revan nodded, easily believing the answer. "You did the right thing."

Poe smacked Finn's shoulder, grinning widely. "Completing my mission and saving Sora's life? You're awesome, buddy."

Finn appreciated the compliment, albeit a bit unsurely. Sora could see that he wasn't convinced. The way he was bouncing his knee and his fingers fumbled with his jacket told her that he didn't feel comfortable at all. Like he was only waiting for an opportunity to jump to his feet and sprint out of here. 

Clearly, something was bothering him.

"Thank you Finn. Without you I wouldn't be here. I won't forget that." And she meant it. She would forever be in his debt. 

The group was interrupted by See-Threepio. The golden protocol droid came rushing straight for their table, a great urgency in his every step. "Master Dameron, Team Phoenix and Master Finn, the General wishes to see you immediately. You will have to follow me, please."

The group shared a worried look with each other but instantly complied, hurrying after the droid who was surprisingly quiet on the whole way. He led them into the conference room where the members of the Resistance' inner circle were already waiting. Guess that meant her team was important now as well.

They huddled around an unfamiliar hologram which caused dread to rise in Sora. Out of the corner of her eyes, she barely recognized Han Solo, the most famous smuggler in the galaxy. Right, BeeBee-Ate had shortly mentioned him as well this morning. She'd seen him before, in Mos Eisley, but the encounter had been so brief she doubted he remembered her.

"Starkiller base," Poe explained, his arm brushing against hers. "The scan data from Snap's reconnaissance flight confirms Finn's report."

Sora tried to soak in all of the new information, biting her bottom lip in concentration.

A middle aged man wearing the familiar orange pilot suit spoke up. The brown curls on his head bounced as he nodded at Poe. According to the tag on his vest, his name was Temmin Wexley, or 'Snap' Poe had called him, and he was a member of the Blue Squadron. "They've somehow created a hyper lightspeed weapon built within the planet itself."

"A laser cannon?" A male officer called Brance asked.

Sora thought it looked much more frightening than a laser cannon. No, this was surely something bigger.

Snap shared her thoughts. "We're not sure how to describe a weapon of this scale."

"Another Death Star?" Someone mumbled, causing the atmosphere to darken instantly. This was not good. Not good at all. When Sora meant she was looking for an adventure, this was certainly not what she had imagined. Not that it mattered anymore. She was in for good now anyways. 

Next to her, Poe let out a sigh, angling his body closer to hers, purely out of instinct. "I wish that were the case, Major Ematt." He hit a control button and a wireframe of the Death Star appeared before them. "This was the Death Star." The pilot hit another button and the gargantuan space station shrunk and shrunk, growing smaller until it was nothing but a tiny satellite of a huge planet. "This is Starkiller Base."

The news left everyone stunned. Sora exhaled deeply, the somber atmosphere beginning to affect her. How much had been sacrificed before they were able to destroy the Death Star, many years ago? She vaguely remembered her mother telling her tales of the Rebellion, of Rogue One. Tales of the brave Jyn Erso and Cassian Andor who, along with their small crew, had willingly sacrificed their lives for a slice of hope. 

This thing, however, was so much bigger. And right now, it was slowly draining any hope they had left.

The deep voice of Han Solo broke the silence, the famous smuggler appearing very nonchalant. "So it's big." 

"How is it possible to power a weapon of this size?" Admiral Ackbar dared to ask what so many of them were thinking.

On her other side, Revan's posture tensed. She supposed that given his past, he likely knew more than they did and could only assume it was nothing pleasant. But it was Finn who opened his mouth first. "It uses the power of the sun. As the weapon is charged, the sun is drained until it disappears."

A weapon using the whole power of one sun? Yeah, they were screwed. 

She felt Revan's hot breath tickle her ear as he leaned down to whisper. "I'd heard the rumors but never knew they were actually building it. They could destroy entire systems with this."

Sora hummed but said nothing. There was nothing to be said that made this any better.

Suddenly, the doors burst open and an officer made a beeline for Leia who had been a silent observer so far. He handed her a data card and her face consorted in worry as she read it. "The First Order. They're charging the weapon again, now." A pause, then everyone's heart sank to the floor. "Our system is the next target." 

"Oh my, without the Republic Fleet, we're doomed," See-Threepio stated the obvious.

It was foolish to think they could stand a chance against a weapon this size. Sora knew the Resistance didn't have enough members, enough firepower to go against the First Order. Not in this case. But there had to be something they could do. Anything. 

It occurred to her then, that it was very much possible Kylo Ren had brought Rey to Starkiller Base. Very likely, actually. Which meant that one way or another, it would be her next destination as well. Why not blow the whole thing up during the process as well? Surely, if they could sneak on base, they could find a way to destroy it from the inside. Every weapon had a weakness, just like the Death Star had one, thanks to Galen Erso.

Poe glanced towards her, his eyes momentarily stuck on the lip between her teeth. He could practically see the gears working in her head. There was no doubt she was planning something. Much like him, she didn't seem like to type to give up. "You alright, princess?" He whispered, leaning down to her ear. 

But Sora was deep in thoughts and only nodded, not quite registering his words. 

Did she have to bite her lip like that? It was incredibly tempting to raise his thumb and gently...no, this wasn't the time for this. Instead, he told himself he just didn't want her hurting herself. Yeah, that was it. One hundred percent.

A tiny spark against his calf shook him out of his thoughts and Poe hissed softly. One look down and BeeBee-Ate stared back at him, tilting his dome head as if scolding him.

"Okay, how do we blow it up? There's always a way to do that." Typical Han Solo thoughts. Poe liked it. Sora agreed as well.

She hoped Revan might have an idea but he stayed silent and shared an unsure look with Finn instead. The smuggler realized that Finn's knowledge vastly surpassed her crewmate's. After all, Revan had left the First Order a couple of years ago. Years in which they had improved their military devices by a lot.

Surprisingly, it was Leia who openly agreed with her husband, catching even him off guard. "Han's right."

"In order for that amount of power to be contained, that base would need some kind of thermal oscillator," Revan voiced his thoughts, his gaze darting back to Finn in question.

Said man nodded in agreement, fingers already working on the hologram. He zoomed in on something and a giant hexagonal structure appeared. "There is one. Precinct 47. Here. If we can destroy that oscillator, it might de-stabilize the core and cripple the weapon." 

"Maybe even the planet...," Nyra mumbled lowly but everyone heard her nonetheless.

Poe liked where this was going. They had hope again, even if it was small. "So we'll go in there and we'll hit that oscillator with everything we got." He snuck a look at Sora, silently hoping to get her on board. 

The woman in question felt his stare and turned her head in his direction, their brown eyes locking. Shivers crawled across his skin, her warm breath fanning against his face. He found the answer he wanted instantly. Sora wasn't a fan of many words, that much he had gathered already. Lips pulling into an excited smile, she quickly sent him a nod. Sora liked his idea. He couldn't deny that it boosted his ego. Even though it was the only idea they had anyways.

"They have defensive shields that our ships cannot penetrate," Admiral Ackbar objected.

Han was quick to defend the plan. "We disable the shields." He turned to Finn. "Kid, you worked there. What do you got?"

He missed a single beat. Then: "I can do it."

But Sora still noticed him squirming. He wanted to go to Starkiller Base, she was sure. But she knew when someone was hiding something. After all, it was part of her job.

Han grinned, happy with his reply. "I like this guy."

But Finn wasn't done talking yet. "I can disable the shields. But I have to be there, on the planet."

Sora had to seize the opportunity. It was her only chance to save Rey.

"We'll get you there." Han and her said simultaneously and their gazes instantly snapped towards each other. Calculations were done in their heads before they silently came to an agreement. He wouldn't undermine her. They were both smugglers and they would need more people on the ground anyways.

Nyra and Revan stepped closer towards her, their own way of showing everyone they would follow Sora's command. 

Leia was sceptical, doubts clouding her mind. "Han, how?"

Sora had an idea but so far, she only knew that it worked in theory. As the more experienced smuggler, she hoped Han had practical experience. And it seemed like she was right. "If I told you, you wouldn't like it."

Poe clapped his hands, already moving the plan into motion inside his head. "Great. So we disable the shields, take out the oscillator and blow up their big gun. All right. Let's go!"

*****

The Millennium Falcon was old and had obviously seen its best days. Yet, Sora admired the freighter, almost feeling the stories it told. It truly was a legendary ship and she had only ever dreamed of being on board. Any young smuggler had. Now, her dreams were about to become true.

"Chewie, check that donal capitator. C'mon, let's go." Han watched the wookie disappear inside the ship. They were preparing for take-off, making sure they had everything they would need for their daring mission. "Finn, be careful with those. They're explosives."

Finn who had been busy filling their storage with the tiny but, unbeknownst to him, deadly devices, flinched, almost loosing hold of them. "Now you tell me?" He asked incredulously.

"Here, let me help you," Sora offered, carefully picking up some of the explosives as well. Finn thanked her, staring at her a bit longer than necessary. Now was her time to ask what had been nagging at her. Nyra and Revan were busy doing some last minute repairs whilst Han had walked off to talk to Leia. They were alone, out of earshot. "You're not doing this for the Resistance, aren't you?" It wasn't a question but a statement.

Finn knew lying was useless. "No. I'm doing this for Rey."

Now, that did surprise her. Or did it really? It was no secret Finn had accompanied Rey for a few days. Had they grown closer during that time? Whatever they had gone through, it had clearly left a lasting impression on him. 

"Then we have at least one common goal," she pointed out, safely putting the explosives into some crates on board, making sure they were tightly secured. 

"You and Rey are friends?" Finn was confused, raising his eyebrows. 

"She was the one who found me on Jakku. I owe her a lot."

"I understand. So can I count on you?" 

Sora tilted her head, giving him the 'are you serious' look. "Of course. But I'm doing this for the Resistance too. We need to destroy that weapon. Can I count on you as well?"

Finn hesitated a beat too long. "Yes."

If it came down to it, he would choose Rey over anything, she was sure of it. To some extent, she could even understand it. Rey had likely been the first person who had shown some kindness to him. Finn had a lot to learn about himself, a normal process for someone who, until recently, knew nothing but what the First Order had wanted him to. Sora thought that over time, he would become an independent person and would know exactly what he truly wanted do achieve in life. Who he would want to become.

"Hey!" The new voice greeted them as soon as they stepped outside. Poe came to a halt in front of them, wearing his bright orange pilot suit, BeeBee-Ate by his side. The droid needed to stay with him today, despite their bet. His X-Wing needed him. 

The pilot smiled at them, although it looked a bit strained. He clasped Finn's shoulder, giving it a soft squeeze. "Take care of yourself, buddy. I don't want anything to happen to my jacket." He winked at him and then let his hand fall against his side again. His smiled softened, growing more tender as he locked eyes with Sora. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

Sora nodded, walking around the Falcon with Poe to isolate them as best they could. BeeBee-Ate stepped back, opting to confuse Finn with his chirping and beeping. 

They stopped just outside the jungle, the thicket of trees, bushes and other plants hiding them from curious eyes. Facing each other, they stood close enough so that Sora had to tilt her head backwards a little to look into his eyes.

"Be careful out there, okay?" There was a certain strictness in his expression she hadn't seen before. It was an order, she realized. 

She had the urge to soothe his apparant concern. "Don't worry. I'm a smuggler. Sneaking safely in and out of something is kinda what I do best." 

She knew there was very much a possibility of her not making it out alive. They were talking about entering a huge First Order base after all. A place not only guarded by hundreds of stormtroopers but also by Kylo Ren. The chances they wouldn't make it out alive were significantly higher than those for surviving.

Poe was all too aware of that as well. He too could fly his X-Wing one last time tonight. 

But they had to believe in themselves. In their abilities. The First Order couldn't take that away from them too. Both of them were too stubborn to let that happen.

The pilot watched her silently, contemplating what he wanted to say to her. He wasn't thinking about any famous last words because he was sure this wouldn't be their last conversation. At least, that's what he told himself. 

In the end, he simply allowed his mouth to say whatever it wanted. "You and me, princess. Tomorrow evening. Meet me here just after sunset."

Sora wasn't quite sure she had heard him correctly. Still, she went along, noticing the tiny jump her heart had made. "Are you asking me on a date, Poe Dameron?"

"Yes," he admitted shamelessly without hesitation. The pilot wanted to get to know her better. Wanted to know what she liked doing when she was not working. He wanted to know where she had grown up, how she had become a smuggler. 

Did she want this? Poe had been nothing but good to her since they had met. He had trusted her from the beginning, had shown that he cared about her. She had already admitted she liked talking and spending time with him. So, why not try and see where else this could lead to? Find out if they shared more than their love for flying and being free? Sora liked taking risks, so why not take this one?

"Okay." Confidence filled her voice and the smile on her lips was real and honest. "See you tomorrow then."

Poe grinned widely, clearly happy that she had agreed. Not that he had expected a different outcome, to be honest. "See you tomorrow."

*****

The planet Ilum, Unknown Regions, 34 ABY

"So, how are we getting in?"

The crew of the Falcon stared at Ilum, an ice planet in the Unknown Regions. Many years ago, this planet was mined for kyber crystals by the Empire. Now, it was the host of Starkiller Base. 

From up in space, the planet was a grey and white mass, cut in two halves by a giant trench the First Order had dug. Overall, it wasn't a very inviting place. 

Sora peeked over Chewie's shoulder, taking a look at the data shown on a little screen in the cockpit. She raised her brows, concluding what they were about to do in order to get past the planet's shields. "Their shields have a fractional refresh rate. Keeps anything traveling slower than lightspeed from getting through. Which leaves us with only one way to get this done."

From his pilot seat, Han sent her a dry smile. "Park here's right. You better strap in tight."

"We're gonna make our landing approach at lightspeed?!" Finn yelled, looking at them as if they were crazy. 

Indeed, it was a crazy maneuver. The ship could crash into anything before they would even see it coming. But they had no other choice.

"That's exactly what we'll do. Alright Chewie, get ready." Han pushed multiple buttons on the console, waiting for Chewie to prepare the Falcon for lightspeed. 

The cockpit was crammed with Nyra and Revan sharing a seat by the door and Sora and Finn sitting closely huddled together behind Chewie. Strapping the seatbelt proved to be an almost impossible task, with Finn's butt basically sitting on where she needed to secure it. But with a little help from each other, they managed to make do, their thighs tightly pressed together.

"And now!" 

Instantly, the light blue around them switched to planet atmosphere. Snowy, rocky ground appeared in front of them and a thick forest made out of tall pinewood trees threatened to swallow them whole. 

Adrenaline surged through her veins as Han yanked the steering back as far as it could go. "I'm pulling up!" He screams. She loved flying but she was glad she wasn't in his seat.

It was too late. The Falcon plowed through the trees, thick wooden branches smacking against the exterior. Alarms began to blare and multiple red lights blinked all over the consoles. Finn grabbed her hand and squeezed it tightly as they were thrown around in their seats. Sora felt the strain the constant movement brought upon her still healing ribs and she groaned softly. Behind her, Revan whooped in ecstasy and Nyra slapped a hand over his mouth to stop him.

"I get any higher, they'll see us," Han explains and Chewie groans, clearly not liking this either.

Suddenly, the Falcon hurtled out of the forest and dove right onto a clearing. Before Han could steer it upwards, it slammed straight into the snow, digging through hundreds of yards of white. They were thrown against their seatbelts and multiple pained groans filled the cockpit. When the ship finally came to a stop, it was nearly completely buried in snow. 

Everyone needed a moment to clear their minds and slow down their heart rate. Finn sheepishly loosened his hold on her hand. "Sorry," he mumbled, clearing his throat. 

Sora only flexed her hand in response and wiped the sweat onto her pants. "S'okay."

Revan was the first back on his feet, stretching his arms into the air. "Well, that was fun. Think you can do that too, Sora? Could be a fun way to have a good time with the Phoenix."

The smuggler rolled her eyes and looked at him as if he was crazy. "Don't even think about doing that with my ship."

"Alright, party pooper, alright." He raised his hands in defeat, springing to the side to avoid Nyra's elbow which had been on direct route to his stomach. 

Han shared an annoyed look with Sora. "Is he always like that?"

"Unfortunately."

Chemie let out a series of groans she couldn't understand. But there was no need to, for he was already shoving a fur-lined jacket into her arms. A sign that they had wasted enough time and needed to leave.

Only minutes later, they stomped through the snow, jackets zipped up straight to their chins. It was freezing and Sora wished she had put on a sweater underneath her jacket. Even the fur couldn't fully prevent the cold from reaching her skin.

"This is the first time I'm seeing snow," Nyra said, rubbing her hands together. "I hate it."

Revan snorted, throwing his arm over her shoulder. "Don't worry, I'll warm you up when we're back." An indignant groan from Chewie was the answer. 

"Walkers ahead! Take cover," Han ordered, leading the group towards some sort of structure belonging to the base. 

"The flooding tunnels are over that ridge. We'll get in that way," Finn explained, letting his gaze wander across the various structures half buried in snow.

"What was your job when you were based here?" Han didn't seem convinced at all. Sora couldn't fault him. She knew Finn's sole goal was to get Rey and she highly doubted he had any plan about their actual mission at all. He had just needed a way to get on planet. 

"Sanitation." 

Oh, she actually felt bad for him for a second.

Han was in disbelief. "Sanitation. Then how do you know how to disable the shields?"

"He doesn't," Sora said, leaning against the structure behind her. "He just wants to save Rey. Which I want as well, by the way. So we need to find a way to do both."

Finn nodded. "What she said."

The legendary smuggler didn't know whom he wanted to smack first, looking from Sora to Finn and back. "People are counting on us. The entire galaxy is counting on us-"

"Hey, we'll figure it out. We'll find a way to disable those shields first. But I'm not leaving my friend here. We're enough people , we'll make do."

"Shields first, then your friend," Revan agreed, voice hard and leaving no room for argument, as if stating the obvious. 

"Captain's orders." Nyra shrugged her shoulders, grinning at Sora.

I can definitely get used to this, she thought. This new team of hers.

Chewie's groans and moans interrupted their conversation. In disbelief, Han addressed him, being the only one in their group to understand Wookie language. "Oh really, you're cold?"

Well, if the Wookie with all of his hair was cold, then Sora was slowly turning into an ice block herself. The longer they didn't move, the slower their warm blood was pumped through their bodies. Moreover, her boots weren't exactly made for Ilum's environment, causing her to loose feelings her toes. 

Apparently, Finn felt the same. "C'mon, follow me. We need to go. Fast."

Wordlessly, the group of smugglers followed him, trudging through the snow. Behind them on the horizon, the laser siphon was shooting into the sky, slowly sucking the sun dry. Not much longer and the Starkiller would have gained all of its power.

It didn't take them long to enter the base. Before they knew it, they were sneaking through empty corridors with raised blasters, hoping to not encounter any enemies. Ahead of them, a door swooshed open, revealing a shocked stormtrooper. Chewie shot him before the shock could even fully register, dragging his dead body out of sight immediately. Sora doubted he was the last one they would cross paths with. How likely was it that they had cameras everywhere? Maybe more patrols were already on their way to them. She tried not to dwell on that.

Han shared her thoughts."The longer we're here, the less luck we're going to have. The shields?"

Suddenly, Finn perked up, a new plan through his mind. "I have an idea about that."

"Not sure I like that look on your face, man," Revan declared. "But whatever, I guess."

"Why, don't tell me you're never wanted to have Captain Phasma as your puppet?"

That name did elicit a reaction. Lips stretching into a smirk, Revan changed his opinion instantly. "Shiny chromehead? Oh, you should have started with that. Let's go, what are you waiting for."

Sora briefly remembered having heard that name on Atrisia two years ago. However, the Captain hadn't been actually present back then, so she had no idea whom they were about to walk into. 

But Finn and Revan were already setting their plan into motion, giving orders to the rest of the group. Han wasn't quite happy with it but for the sake of the mission, he went along without complaining.

Quietly, they headed down a narrow corridor. It ended in a cross section and they pressed themselves against the wall in a row, listening and waiting. Footsteps echoed through the corridor to their right. A single pair. Easy to overtake. 

Chewie got in position and mere moments later, he had his arms around a woman whose body was covered from head to toe in shiny chrome armor. 

"Remember me?" Finn asked with confidence and something akin to pride. 

"FN-2187," Captain Phasma answered, voice devoid of any emotion.

Shivers danced across Sora's skin. This time not because of the cold but entirely due to the woman in front of her. There was something off-putting about her. Like her presence alone could suck the life out of you. This one was worse than Hux, she decided then and there.

Speaking of him... she hadn't even thought about the fact that the General was most likely here somewhere as well. Maybe she would get another opportunity to sink her knives into him after all. 

"My name's Finn. And I'm in charge now, Phasma. I'm in charge." 

Sora had never seen Finn so self-assured, so sure of his abilities. Perhaps for the first time in his life, he had the upper hand. 

And he wasn't finished. "Remember Revan here? Yep, he's here too. And you're gonna follow our orders this time. Follow us."

Phasma reluctantly complied, having no choice but to lead the group straight to the control access point. Multiple pair of blasters were aimed at her head as her fingers worked on the controls. The young smuggler stayed back, guarding the door in case anyone decided to wander by. She tapped one boot against the floor in a steady rhythm. There wasn't much time left. They had to hurry and find Rey. Maker knew what Kylo Ren was doing to her at the very moment.

Behind her, Phasma was taking her sweet time. "You're making a big mistake."

"Do it. Now. Or I'll blast that bucket off your head," Finn threatened, stepping even closer, blaster pressing into the helmet.

A robotic voice sounded from the workstation. "Shields disabled."

Sora didn't dare to turn around. Instead, she gripped her blaster tighter. Surely, the message must have popped up in the main base control room as well. It was only a matter of time until someone would notice and send for them. "We can't waste anymore time if we want to find Rey," she reminded her teammates. Poe and his squadrons were likely already on their way to destroy the super weapon with all of their firepower.

It was Phasma who answered. "You can't be so stupid as to think this will be easy. My troops will storm this block and kill you all."

"We'll simply kill them first," the young woman replied, sparing her a quick glance over her shoulder. "What do we do with her?"

Han was reminded of the past. They needed something worse than immediate death. Something much more sinister. "Is there a garbage chute? Trash compactor?"

*****

"You guys do know she's probably gonna survive this." Nyra pointed out as they were approaching another corridor. Phasma had called them all sorts of names when they dumped her down a garbage chute. 

"Maybe. But her surrounded by all of that trash...," Finn began, motioning for them to wait by a door. It was locked from the other side. "It was worth it, no matter what happens."

"So we're gonna blast that door open?" Sora asked, glancing at the duffel bag filled with explosives Chewie was carrying. "Cause that's gonna draw attention. We could be overrun in a minute."

Finn nodded. "I'll go in and draw fire. But I'm gonna need you to cover me." 

The young smuggler saw it again. He was restless, eyes everywhere but on any of them. He definitely wasn't ready for his own plan. "Finn, let me do this," she offered, taking a step forwards, blaster raised.

"No. I'll go in and find Rey. The troopers'll be on our tail. We have to be ready for that. There's an access tunnel that'll lead-"

Recognition flashed through Han's eyes, catching Sora's attention. Curiously, she followed his gaze and was not disappointed by what she saw.

There, through the window behind Finn's back, a young woman was climbing up the wall. Her white and beige attire was all too familiar for the smuggler. The corners of her lips lifted into a smile, relief flooding her body. 

Rey was alive. And smart enough to have found her own escape. One less problem to worry about for the group. 

"Why are you doing that? Where are you looking at? I'm trying to come up with a plan here. Hey, Sora, I thought you wanted to find Rey too, what-"

Finally, Finn turned around, sick of Han constantly nodding his head. He could hardly believe what he saw, his mouth opening and closing quickly. Chewie groaned happily, all but punching the unfortunate Revan next to him against his back in the process. The latter coughed uncontrollably in response, wincing in pain. "Really, dude? Thanks a lot," he managed to squeeze out but accepted the moaned apology by the Wookie nevertheless.

Sora sighed, feeling one weight less on her shoulders. Sure, Rey wasn't quite safe yet but she was halfway there already. Suddenly, the ground shook almost unnoticeably. No doubt, the Resistance X-Wing pilots, including Poe, were doing their job. "Let's meet up with her."

Finn didn't have to be told twice. With him and Sora at the front, the group made their way up, reaching the corridor the scavenger had climbed up to. The base was surprisingly empty. Apparently, the First Order really thought no one was crazy enough to try to bypass their shields. 

Sora barely had time to stop herself from pulling the trigger when out of the blue, a blaster was pointing at her face. But when she locked eyes with Rey, both blasters were lowered immediately. 

"Sora?!" It was more of a question than an observation. The scavenger couldn't believe what she was seeing.

Anchoring her blaster in the holster around her hips, the smuggler pulled her into a quick hug which was happily returned. When they had let go of each other again, Sora checked her for injuries but thankfully couldn't find any. "Are you okay?"

Still speechless, Rey simply nodded, gaze traveling to her companions. It stopped on a certain former stormtrooper who was staring at her wide-eyed. "Finn. What are you guys doing here?"

"We came back for you," Finn answered and wanted nothing more than to hug her. However, he deemed it neither the right place nor time. 

"Long story short," Sora opted to elaborate. "We're with the Resistance and we're about to blow up this whole place. But how did you manage to escape Kylo Ren?"

There were tears in Rey's eyes, happy tears. Sora had never seen the scavenger express so many emotions at once. Suddenly, she was like an open book. Her longing for love was visible on her every pore. In this moment, right here, right now, Rey had realized that she didn't need her parents. That she had friends who were taking care of her. 

"I can't explain it. And you wouldn't believe it either." She smiled wholeheartedly. "Thank you."

The ground shook once again, this time much more noticeable. "No time for sentiments. Let's get out of here," Revan interrupted their reunion, cutting it short. 

"We'll talk later." Sora promised, squeezing Rey's hand before they retraced their steps, leaving the building and its endless grey behind. 

Yet, something felt wrong. Once they had stepped back outside, snow crunching underneath their boots, they saw just how terrible their mission was going. 

X-Wings were roaring across the sky, desperately dodging the brutal TIE-Fighter attacks. Missiles were fired, some hitting its mark others failing miserably. With dread and sadness, Sora noticed some starfighters were nowhere to be found. They were loosing, that much was obvious. The Starkiller Base had barely been damaged but their squadrons had already suffered too many losses. How much more could they take? She found herself exhaling softly when she spotted the familiar black X-Wing soaring up high on the horizon. 

The young woman felt a pair of eyes on her and turned towards the culprit. "They're in trouble. We can't leave," Han stated, waiting for her reaction. He knew they were thinking the same. 

Sora nodded, taking a peek at the duffel bag Chewie was carrying. "We're gonna make use of those explosives. We need to weaken the whole structure of the oscillator." Pointing at Nyra and Revan, she explained the plan. "You two, make sure the Falcon is ready to leave. Finn, Rey, you need to find a way to open the doors of the oscillator structure. Han, Chewie and I will place the explosives."

"Sure, Captain. Take care." Revan agreed, dragging Nyra along. The older woman gave her an encouraging smile. 

"Kick their asses, alright?" Rey said, winking at Sora before she too took off with Finn. 

"That's a promise," she managed to reply. It was good to have her back. 

Han and his Wookie companion took her straight to a maintenance hatch leading into the structure containing the oscillator. Three stormtroopers were approaching it as well but the three smugglers made quick work with them, each easily taking down one white-armored soldier. 

The hatch opened with a hissing sound, telling them Rey and Finn had done their job. No time was wasted and they barreled straight inside just as an alarm started blaring. "Not good," Sora grumbled. "We need to hurry. I'm going up, you take the lower levels. We meet back up here."

Dividing the explosives, the smugglers took off in different directions. The oscillator room was a huge cylindrical structure consisting of multiple levels from each of which you could look down onto a long catwalk in the middle, floating over a deep chasm. Darkness was everywhere, making seeing particularly hard. 

Sora carefully placed the explosives on every second column on her level. Every now and then, she heard Chewie groaning whenever he had successfully placed one as well. Nothing was suspicious, until a shout echoed through the room. "Ben!" It was Han. 

The young smuggler didn't have time to peek over the railing and see what was going on. Who Ben was. For there was another voice and it was much too close for her liking. The small hairs on the back of her neck stood up and a wave of anger surged through her. 

"I should have known you aren't dead."

Even before she turned around, she knew who was behind her by the voice alone. Hux hadn't changed since she had last seen him. The red haired General was still sporting his black robes and his ever present sneer on his face. 

Sora smirked, shrugging her shoulders. Whilst she had been kind of looking forwards to this moment, now really wasn't a good time. "I guess this means you need to train your troopers to approve their aim."

Hux scoffed, blaster aimed at her. "Well I can promise you I won't miss." 

He fired. 

But Sora was faster, having anticipated it. Villains never understood that less talking is the way to victory. Moving her body out of the line of fire, she too used her blaster, effectively shooting the weapon out of his hands. It flew straight over the railing, vanishing into the darkness below. 

"Oh would you look at that. You missed. And I really don't have time for you right now." 

Pure rage flared in Hux's eyes. Within the blink of an eye, the blaster in her hands was kicked away by his leg, the shot she had fired last minute hitting one of the columns instead. "You missed," he mocked her. 

A few levels below them, someone screams. Then, a roar full of devastation. 

Sora huffed, dodging another kick. His foot hitting the air instead, he fell forwards just a little bit. Enough to kick her knee straight into his abdomen. "It must hurt to know one of your own men saved me. How can you even be a General when you can't control your troops?"

She knew she had hit a soft spot. Maybe it was wrong to want to rile him up but he simply made it so easy for her. She could literally feel his blood boiling as his fist made contact with her side. The smuggler had managed to angle her body, preventing the hit from reaching her stomach. Unfortunately, that meant it hit her ribs which instantly flared in pain. 

Blaster fire erupted multiple levels down but the fighting duo ignored it. 

It was a petty feud going on between them and they both knew it. After all, they could have killed each other already if they had truly wanted to. The opportunities had been there and blatantly so. 

Sora caught his fist before it punched against her nose. Using her free hand, she formed a fist of her own and let it barrel against his cheek. The General's head snapped to the side and he stumbled back a step. Blood slowly ran down a small cut on the pale skin. He wiped it away with his hand. "I know you can do better than that."

"Oh I could," she said, grinning as she tilted her head to the side. "But where would be the fun in that?" Another leg kick was dodged and she quickly grabbed a knife out of her holster. 

Hux moved back before she could use the weapon. They were dancing around each other, waiting and accessing but never quite ready to make the first move. "You call this fun? You're nothing but an annoyance. Resistance scum now, apparently. Maybe I should congratulate you. After all this time, you're finally no longer a nobody. Tell me, how is Elijah? Is he with you too?"

The ground underneath their feet rumbled, vibrating through their bodies. The first explosion caused the whole structure to shake and she used it as a distraction to throw the knife, watching it lodge into his thigh, just like two years ago. She hadn't aimed to kill, only to slow down. And to piss him off. Actually, mainly for that reason. His comment had hit home, much more than she liked to admit.

"Till next time, Armitage," she yelled over the noise, walking backwards to watch him struggle to stand until she finally turned around and ran for the door. Hux was close, she could hear him limping behind her back. Not chasing her but simply trying to escape as well. 

More explosions sounded and just as she felt the freezing air hit her skin again, she heard Hux scream at her one last time. "Till next time, Sora!"

She hadn't heard him say that name in many years. 

Sprinting through the snow as fast as she could, Sora felt herself growing out of breath quickly, her ribs aching as if Hux's punch had erased the bacta effects. She had no idea whether the others had made it to the Falcon by now. The ground continued to shake and she had to avoid getting hit by falling trees and snow avalanches. Stumbling a couple of times, she managed to somehow catch herself, never forgetting that her timer was running out. 

Poe and his squadron had been successful. The Resistance had won this battle. Now, all that's left to do was escape from Ilum before it would combust. Easier said than done. 

Suddenly, the ground directly in front of her split into two and she threw herself back to not fall to her death. Rocks and trees broke free, falling into the deep unknown. Kriff, this was not good at all. Sora calculated she had a maximum of sixty seconds until the planet would burst into flames completely, turning into a hot, blazing sun.

The snow stuck to her clothes as she shuffled to her feet. Jumping across the gap would be impossible but she knew that the Falcon was on the other side. Her only way off this planet. She needed to come up with a plan. Fast. Comms wouldn't work down here, thanks to the signal blockers the First Order had installed. Surely, the crew was looking for her. If they had even made it this far. 

Engine noises disrupted the deafening sounds of the planet splitting into pieces. Hopeful, Sora looked to the sky and saw a familiar freighter soaring across the ground, barreling through the thick forest. 

And it was heading straight at her.

"C'mon Sora, you need to jump! We don't have time to land!" Revan screamed as he stood on the lowered ramp, one hand holding on tight, the other waiting to catch her.

The Falcon hovered above the trench, getting as close to her as possible. Sora risked a peek into the deep, hot chasm below, swallowing harshly as debris broke underneath the tip of her toes. She knew she could make the jump. Not like she had any other choice if she wanted to live. Carefully taking a couple steps back, she took a deep breath, getting ready to make a run for it. 

"Now, Sora!"

She jumped, feeling nothing but cold air around her. Her breath hitched, the ramp suddenly seeming so much further away than it had just seconds ago. Gravity hit her hard but Revan was there to catch her, just like he had promised. His hand gripped hers, pulling her safely onto the Falcon's ramp. "I've got you." 

Sora stumbled into his chest and the two of them fell backwards, landing on the hard ground of the ship. Revan took most of the fall, still holding onto her tightly, and he groaned in pain. From where her head laid on his chest, Sora watched the ground slowly growing distant as the Falcon rose higher and higher, the destruction from the explosions continuing. The ramp closed just before a wave of fire hit the Falcon and then the ship jumped into hyperspace.

"Let's not do this again," Revan grumbled.

Sora freed herself, laying back on the cold ground to catch her breath. The last traces of adrenaline were beginning to leave her system and the full details about what had just occurred were kicking in. "Agreed."

"But to be honest...it was kinda fun."

Sitting up slowly, the young smuggler glanced at him, unable to stop her lips from pulling into a smile. "Just a tiny bit."

Revan helped her to her feet, pulling her up by her hand, and dusted off some snowflakes which had clung to her jacket. "We were beginning to worry though. When Chewie came back to the Falcon alone, we thought the worst. But then we'd found Rey and Finn and then luckily, you as well."

Sora furrowed her brows, dread seeping into her bones. "What about Han?"

The ex-trooper shook his head, a somber expression on his face. "Killed by Kylo Ren."

Remembering screams and devastated Wookie groans, she put the pieces together. She could only imagine the grief Chewie was experiencing after the loss of his best friend. The mourning him and Leia were about to go through. A true legend was dead, killed by the First Order. And it was just the beginning. "What about Finn and Rey, how are they?"

Revan seemed hesitant to answer. A sign that more bad news were about to follow. "Rey is the Falcon's new pilot. Finn, however...He got a nasty cut from Kylo Ren's lightsaber. The two of them had a little quarrel with him in the forest." 

He motioned for her to follow him and together they entered the Falcon's sleeping quarters. An anxious looking Nyra kneeled in front of the bed, pressing a bloodied rag against Finn's spine. The injured man was laying on his stomach on top of the blankets, his eyes closed with deep dark circles shadowing them and sweat running down his forehead.

"How bad is it?" Sora asked, leaning against the doorframe. 

Nyra shook her head, worry etching across her face. "Very. He needs a bacta suit soon. The wound is pretty deep and I'm not sure if it damaged his spine. He won't wake up either."

The young smuggler bit her cheek in concern. "We'll better comm the base and have them prepare the medical equipment. I'll go do it."

When she entered the cockpit, her first instinct was to lay a hand atop of Chewie's shoulder, squeezing it gently. "I'm sorry for your loss. If you ever need someone to vent your feelings to, I'll be there." 

The Wookie groaned painfully, mourning his loss but showing appreciation at her comment. 

"Sora, what happened? We thought you'd already left but the we couldn't find you. I'm sorry that we didn't make sure you-"

"Hey Rey, it's fine. I'm okay, no need to worry about the past," she tried to calm her down. Whenever the scavenger was anxious, she tended to talk waterfalls. It had been her job to stop Rey from spiraling down that hole ever since they got to know each other. 

Rey smiled apologetically and went back to concentrate on piloting the Falcon. 

"How long until we'll land on D'Qar?"

"Approximately two hours."

Sora bit her lip. Too long. She wasn't sure Finn would survive the journey. "Chewie, can you get me on line with D'Qar's communications tower?"

The Wookie groaned in agreement and got to work instantly. The Resistance used a secret communication channel and thankfully, the Falcon had access to it. Only seconds passed until the channel crackled to life. "Falcon to Base, we have an important matter."

The female voice she had heard on the Phoenix as well answered. "It's nice to hear from you, Falcon. What do you need?"

"We need to have a bacta suit prepared and medics waiting for us on the landing bay. It's a serious lightsaber wound. We'll approach the planet in two hours."

"I'll report it to the General. Have a safe journey." The line went dead again. Everything else had to be discussed on ground. 

Sora sighed, plopping down on the seat behind Chewie. She leaned her head back and closed her eyes. A quick nap couldn't hurt. Perhaps it would even stop the stabbing pain of her ribs again. She doubted they were fully broken again, but the fresh hit had definitely slowed down the bacta healing process. 

"Sora, what happened to you at the oscillator?"

"Had a little chat with a certain General." A faked nonchalance.

Fast as lightening, Rey turned in her seat, staring at her with wide eyes. "You're not talking about him, are you?"

"Yes, him. And I let him get away again," she whispered, still loud enough for both the co-pilot and the pilot to hear.

Whilst Chewie groaned in confusion, not understanding a single thing, Rey clicked her tongue. "I did tell you that would happen. You're not a murderer. Not like that at least. Besides, he let you go too."

"He did."

"It's a pretty strange game you two have going on for....for how long now?"

Sora replied without hesitation. "Nine years."

"That's a long time." Knowing this conversation had already lasted longer than her friend liked, Rey put her focus on navigating the ship again. "You know, don't feel guilty for not killing him, despite of what he's part of. Think about who he is to you. Who he was to you. That's all that matters here."

Sora appreciated her advice a lot. Kriff, she had truly missed Rey. Neither the scavenger nor her were fond of 'girl talk', yet it was nice to have someone to vent your feelings to. Someone who knew all about you, maybe even better than you know yourself. 

"Care to tell me how you managed your grand escape?" The smuggler probed carefully, diverting the conversation to another important topic. In front of her, Chewie sat up straighter, seemingly wanting to know the answer as well.

Rey hesitated, trying to find the right words. "It's...I don't even understand it either. Kylo Ren, he was in my head. I was strapped into this chair but when he left me alone with that stormtrooper, I...I was able to manipulate him. I made him free my restraints with my mind. With...the Force."

To say Sora was shocked was an understatement. Rey was force-sensitive. Had been all of her life and never noticed it. "Whoa, that's...impressive actually. I bet with the proper training, you could accomplish great things. Maybe even become a Jedi." Being force-sensitive didn't mean you'd automatically have to be a Jedi. But Sora could definitely see her friend as one. Rey was strong, full of light and determined. 

"But who could train me? There's no Jedi left alive."

"You know there is," Sora looked at her pointedly. "And we have one half of the map to find him already. Luke Skywalker."

At the mention of that name, Chewie visibly perked up. So did Rey. But the conversation was over. There was a lot the scavenger had to come to terms with and she had to do it on her own. So the cockpit was engulfed in silence once again, with Chewie mourning in peace and the two women deep in their thoughts. One was lost somewhere in the past, the other in the future.

Sora must have fallen asleep. As the ship jumped out of hyperspace, her eyes blinked open again. Ahead of them, the now familiar green planet of D'Qar rotated slowly. 

"Hey sleepyhead, we're about to land," Rey said, sending her a quick smile before she started the landing process. 

The young smuggler nodded, watching the Resistance base grow closer through the window. Rey was a great pilot, all thanks to her flight simulator back on Jakku. Therefore, the Falcon landed without any disturbances and the trio was up and about in a matter of seconds. They met up with Nyra and Revan and waited patiently as the ship's ramp was lowered to the ground. 

Warm sunlight welcomed the group, a much appreciated change compared to the ice planet Ilum. As promised, a team of medics with a stretcher rushed towards them and Nyra and Revan made it their job to help them transporting Finn to the makeshift hospital. His heart hadn't stopped beating which was a good sign.

A teary eyed Rey jogged straight towards Leia who had been standing by the Falcon, smiling sadly at them. She tried hard to hide her grief but anyone who knew how much Han truly meant to her could see right through her facade. 

However, it did confuse her when she sought comfort in Rey instead of in Chewie. He clearly needed a hug, specifically from Leia, his now closest friend. And wasn't this the first time her scavenger friend and the General were meeting each other? Was this sudden connection a force thing? Anyways, Sora felt sad for the gentle Wookie who, at the sight of the two women hugging, disappeared back into the Falcon. The thought of following flashed through her mind briefly, but she knew he wasn't seeking her comfort. After all, they barely knew each other. Maybe some alone time was exactly what he needed now.

Happy beeps caught her attention and her eyes moved past Leia and Rey to follow the sound. A small astromech was moving straight at her, going on maximum speed. "Whoa, slow down buddy." The droid came crashing into her shins as soon as she had finished her sentence, mindful enough to slow down so it wouldn't hurt her. 

Sora crouched down, affectionally stroking his dome head. "I'm happy to see you too, BeeBee-Ate. Did everything go down well?"

More exciting chirps followed and then the droid got lost in his tale, explaining every little detail about what had occurred up in the air. Sora took in as much as she could, listening intently and making sure to make a comment every now and then. 

"Hey BeeBee-Ate, don't hog her. I want Sora-time too."

At the sound of his voice, Sora looked up instantly. Poe was grinning from ear to ear, his arms stretched to both sides. He was waiting for her to move with a raised eyebrow. She scoffed, chuckling at his antics but accepted his invite nevertheless. The pilot pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her, swaying their bodies from side to side. Kriff, she hadn't even known she needed this hug until now.

Sora pressed her ear against his chest, listening to his heartbeat. It was definitely faster than it should be, she noticed. Poe felt incredibly warm and the memories of snow and ice melted away. She didn't care that he was sweaty and in need of a shower. His hand tingled inside her waves, loosening the knots in slow, gentle strokes. 

"I'm glad you're okay, princess," he whispered. This little moment was meant just for them. Anyone else around them was busy celebrating their win against the First Order. 

"Yeah, me too." Her reply was just as quiet. Eyes closing in relaxation, she put more of her weight against him and Poe wordlessly accepted it, tightening his hold around her. They basked in each others embrace for a while, enjoying the silence. 

But it wasn't long before the pilot initiated conversation again, seeking answers. "What happened down there?"

Sora hummed softly. "The usual. Lots of sneaking, lots of fighting. Trash chutes. Which are very useful by the way, for all kinds of trash. Explosions. And lots of snow."

Poe chuckled, the vibrations of it tickling her ear. "Sounds fun. Any injuries I should know about?"

"Just some sore ribs. And my toes are all tingly, so I might have frostbite, who knows."

"Well, we can't have that now, can we?" Poe mumbled, loosening the hug to look into her eyes instead. He smiled at her and delicately lifted his finger, letting it glide over the smooth skin of her cheek to push a strand of hair out of her face. "Let's get you inside then. A hot shower solves everything, right."

She smiled and found herself liking the proximity. "You know, BeeBee-Ate told me everything. You did well. Guess you really are the best pilot in the Resistance."

"Of course I am. But I'm happy you finally accepted the truth. Now, c'mon." Poe put his arm over her shoulders, leading her down into the base. They didn't linger to talk to people, making a beeline for the sleeping quarters. 

The unspoken rule of not mentioning their losses and near-losses today wasn't broken. Neither of them wanted to dwell on the sadness, so they buried it for now.

The duo stopped in front of the door to Sora's room and she was quick to type in the four digits to open it. Poe followed her inside but kept standing close to the door, watching her taking off the heavy jacket. "There's a meeting in about an hour. Think you'll be all warmed up by then? You know, I happen to know a method that could be very helpful...," he joked and grinned, crossing his arms over his chest. 

Sora rolled her eyes playfully, stepping out of her wet boots. "Then we'd definitely miss the meeting. Now, out you go."

"You're right. We'd miss the whole day," Poe stated, the grin never leaving his face. He lifted his finger, pointing it at her accusingly. "Don't forget we have a date tonight, princess." The pilot was gone before she could reply. 

As if she would ever forget that. 

A hot shower, a pair of fresh black leggings and a white cropped long sleeved sweatshirt later, Sora entered the conference room. The most important Resistance members had gathered around the round hologram table in the middle and were already deep in discussion. Wordlessly, Sora tip toed towards Revan and Nyra who had opted to keep to the shadows. 

Nyra threw an arm over her shoulder, pulling her body into her side. "I'm bored. Why do we have to be here?" She whispered, making sure no one else would hear them.

"I'm not a fan either. But let's get this done with."

An R2-series astromech droid she hadn't noticed until now projected a hologram for them to see. It was a navigational map with a specific piece missing. Could this be the second half of the map leading to Luke Skywalker? So the droid was Artoo-Detoo then, she concluded. 

BeeBee-Ate's reaction confirmed it. He chirped excitedly, motioning for Poe to assist him. "Yeah alright, buddy, hold one." Sora watched as he removed an ancient data device from one of the computers and inserted it back inside of his little droid. A second later, another hologram map appeared and the two astromechs moved slightly to unite them.

"Oh! The map! It's complete," See-Threepio announced gleefully.

"Luke...," Leia mumbled, putting her hand on her chest, directly above her heart.

The reaction was immediate. The room erupted in cheers and hugs were shared all around them. Revan pulled the two women next to him into his chest, squeezing them harder than necessary. "Great news. Really, awesome. But do you think they celebrate with booze here? Preferably strong one?"

Nyra slapped his chest lightly. "No booze for you this time! Remember what happened last time?"

Revan grimaced, shaking his head as if that would help him get rid of the memories. "Maybe you're right. No booze. I'm still forbidden from entering the kitchen," he nodded.

Sora wasn't sure she wanted to know any details about what had happened. Better to keep those imagines far away from her.

Thankfully, Rey was there to save her. With a big smile on her face, the scavenger gave her a quick hug before she motioned for Sora to follow her into the empty corridor outside the room. 

They walked a small distance until they stopped in a random corner. "Do you think I should do it?"

The smuggler instantly knew what she was talking about. Although it pained her to see Rey go once again, she knew it was necessary. Besides, they would see each other again soon. "I think there is no-one more suited for this than you, Rey. You need to learn how to handle your new abilities. Luke Skywalker is the only one who can help you. And you're the only one capable of bringing him back." 

Rey seemed to ponder over her response, shifting on her feet as if nervous. Then, she took a deep breath. "You're right. I have to do this," she said, sounding much more confident than before. "Thanks, Sora. You know I love you, right?"

"Aw, I love you too, Rey," the smuggler laughed, giving her one last quick hug. "Just be careful."

"You too, alright? Oh, and Doctor Kalonia wants to talk to you. Said it's urgent."

"Well, I'll better go then." They shared a last meaningful look before each took off into a different direction.

Confusion laced her features as she pushed open the doors to the infirmary. The kind doctor was already waiting for her, smiling kindly. "Miss Park, I have good news."

"Go ahead," she said, leaning against a table. 

"I've talked to General Organa about our dwindling medical supplies. She agrees that it would be wise to send your Team to aquire more," Doctor Kalonia explained and handed her a data pad. On it was a detailed list of supplies they desperately needed. "However, seeing as our budget is very low, we need to do this your way."

Lips pulling into a smile, Sora already felt excitement running through her veins. "So, permission to steal from a First Order base?"

The female doctor chuckled. "Yes, Miss Park. But don't take this mission lightly. It's dangerous and requires lots of planning ahead of it. The General trusts you with this."

"Oh, sounds like an everyday job to me. There's nothing to worry about." Holding up the data pad, she nodded towards the door. "I'll better get to work then."

She was already halfway through the door when a thought occurred to her, causing her to stop in her tracks and look back. "How is Finn? Will he be okay?"

"He is in a coma. We don't know when he will wake up," Doctor Kalonia explained lowly, a look of concern flashing over her face. "If he will wake up at all. I'm sorry."

A wave of sadness hit her hard. The brave stormtrooper who had defied everything he had known to save her and Poe. Who had given up his life in order to find a new one. No, she was sure he would survive this. Finn was a lot stronger than that.

The doors closed behind her. Now, it was time to prepare their next mission. Oh, and her date, of course.

[attollogame]

Hello! I’m a long time fan of attollo and I had a bit of a difficult question to ask you. I know the real world is very time consuming so I completely understand that you may be unable to finish things, especially with what you’ve mentioned going on in your life before. Though, I am also an active patreon member, and I was wondering if you have plans to continue some of the things you’ve made announcements for but never completed. I really hope this doesn’t come off pushy or negative I don’t have those intentions sending this at all. For example: the birthday specials, valentine’s day specials, and the recent ovo camp stories have never been completed nor have you given us any updates on them. I wouldn’t be so bothered, but I have been supporting you on patreon and was hoping to at least understand what’s going on with the content I was really looking forward too! I am only hoping for you to address this! I really adore you, your content, and attollo so very much.

Hi! First off, thanks for being a supporter for so long; every bit matters in the long run, and I really do rely on the patreon to assist in financing the monthly bills. Although I would have preferred you contacted me via the patreon channel on discord or dm's on patreon, as this does discuss content that is patreon-centric (and I do ask that you do so from here on out for any patreon-related concerns), I'll still address everything here for now.

The specials and the valentines specials are all public versus patreon-specific, so although I am trying to find the time to sit down and complete these, I am finding it hard on top of actually getting updates done for the game itself and dealing with grad school concerns. The only thing I can say regarding those is that I will likely cease making interactive-related content for the time being and focus more on short stories for events, especially for this year where there are a lot of things going on for me. The current content will be archived and when things die down again I will gladly return to them for their completion, but for the duration of 2023, expect short drabbles instead (like the OC kiss week, for example, which will have SFW public and NSFW on patreon). I also do struggle at times to actually find inspiration or motivation for work, so I do have to combat that (constantly) on top of everything else, which I apologize for.

In terms of the Ovo stories, I asked on patreon whether people were interested and didn't receive much feedback on the matter, so I was unsure of whether people wanted me to continue it or not, especially considering the level of interaction the content received to begin with. I also do believe I did address this matter on a patreon post. Please be sure to double check update posts, as I often address anything relating to patreon stories on those atop game updates themselves.

I will say, it's hard for me to judge at times whether people care for the content produced or not if I don't hear back from the readers. Fortunately, some people did express interest when I initially inquired, so I'm hoping to complete that [Ovo content] when things die down for me as well, but I can't give you a concrete date of completion (much like I can't give concrete dates for updates).

So tl;dr if you made it this far: consider the valentines and birthday interactive stories on hiatus for 2023, as they will be substituted for short stories instead as I settle into grad school. If people want me to continue the Ovo stories please, seriously, let me know so I actually know you're interested in them as writing up to 20k of extra content is really draining if it's not being read.

Patreon will be getting short stories again as I ease back into things. $15 supporters will also receive a short drabble of their choosing. Right now, short stories are easiest for me on top of writing for the game itself as I can get the content done faster as I navigate grad school. I'm incredibly sorry if this isn't what you wanted to hear, but it's the best I can offer right now.

[thedysphoriadiaries]

30 August 2023, 11:42pm

the pale blue dot.

It was the last thing Voyager One sent back to Earth.

It's the epitome of the storm in the teacup.

Two minutes to midnight. Our journey to our lunar counterpart.

All that has happened - every great symphony and art piece composed, every threat of annihilation - everything, and everyone for the next few generations, will all be on that pale blue dot.

I look at myself in the mirror. My reflection stares back. I have come a long way from that sharp-jawed person. I still dislike my likeness being captured on camera, but still...

Nothing changed, maybe apart from the quelling of the desire to be a girl - as it does, but I'm unsure if it will come back - from other more important things in my life, such as my aging grandfather, and the acceptance that I still have a whole life ahead of me to live, whether I want to or not.

The storm in the teacup.

In a way, we are all ghosts, born into shells made not of our own design, but of the design and volition of others.

I never asked to be born!

I told my mother that, one night. She was hurt. I felt nothing. Just anger. Come to think about it, I really only said that when I was 14-16 or so.

If existence was just unfortunate mishap after unfortunate mishap, then what was the point of living? What's the point of living if I could just lose my sight somewhere down the line? At age 20, my eyes require 9 diopters of correction - 900 'degrees' - because of ROP, and the laser surgery that I was subject to as a baby. I wonder how much longer it will take for my eyes to just... give up working.

One thing they don't tell you about corrective lenses for myopia is how they shrink things. Even with lenses that fit my prescription, I find that the lowermost layer of characters on those eye strength charts are often shrunken beyond visibility for me.

Those are things I will never get back. Ever.

Having lived through those things, I told my brother to take care of his eyes, years ago.

He didn't listen, like everyone else. It's why he wears glasses today, like me.

I suffer through some things outside of my control, warn others out of the good of my heart, and nobody listens.

Why won't they listen?

Why?

Don't do anything with your partner, you don't want to become a father at this age.

男人跟男人坐，女人跟女人坐。(Let the men sit with men, and women sit with women.)

Mom would always say that when we were outside, eating with other people. She just said that yesterday, when we were at IKEA.

I don't understand why she must be like this, but maybe, that is a result of my privilege - look on the dark side of this site to find out the sexism that the girls in my country (hell, any country) have to deal with. People advertising 'sets' of material that involve girls masturbating, having sex, etc.

If those are the depths into which toxic masculinity could delve into, I wish to have no part in that.

Why not healthy masculinity?

It's a question I've been pondering for a while now. I'm trying to imagine a world where instead of oppressing, we use our strength to protect. To nurture. Would I still want to be a guy, then?

It's a question I find hard to answer. I'll go sleep on it.

I'm sick of having nothing to offer to my friends. No thoughts about the experiences I have. A brain that - while smart - is just too slow, and unable to see the deeper meanings behind other peoples' words, intentions, and advice.

Even after working a couple jobs, I don't feel like I've grown, and I don't have that drive to do so. Self-agency scares me, too much, for my own good.

...

Either way, seeing as how I'm starting to feel like I was back in 2018 and 2019, I know what I am, for now, at least: a boy who wants to be a girl, or at least, not a guy.

Am I stupid for wanting to be something I was not born as? Maybe. Ben Shapiro and Matt Walsh might say that I will forever be a boy. Male. And that's true. I will forever have the chromosomal makeup of a male. No amount of hormones, wishes, stardust, dressing, and mannerisms will change the fact that my chromosomes make me male (my birthright).

Is womb envy true? Is penis envy true? Maybe. But I don't have the energy - nor time - to talk or think about these sexist concepts. I just want clarity, the clarity that I thought estrogen would have provided.

Yet, it muddied the waters for me. I still feel some measure of anxiety over the feeling of something being in my chest. Sure, I don't feel like cutting it out, but I don't know what to feel about it either. There's no way of knowing if it was the right choice, if choices can even be right or wrong in the first place. A part of me feels like I've triggered something that will slowly destroy my true self. Another part of me doesn't really mind. But I'm still aware of its existence, either way.

Anyway, this shall be part of the experiment. I shall go through National Service (NS), and see how my self-image changes. Maybe, I will find something of use there.

If I could handle Scouts, I can handle conscription.

keine zeit für schwächlichkeit. ich muss stärke zeigen.

Reißen dich zusammen, Fluffy.

Yet... I can't help but wonder...

...

have I lost my way?

...

very cool song:

[stellartales]

zhongli ▪︎ glazed moon

pairing: zhongli x traveler!reader

genre(s): comfort + mild angst + fluff

summary: liyue harbor is once again preparing for another festival — the mid-autumn festival. but somehow she simply couldn't bring herself to join the others in the celebration. definitely not when her heart is aching in melancholy for her missing twin. — | m.list

background: this scenario takes place during the mid-autumn festival - as quoted from wikipedia - it is the second-most important holiday after Chinese New Year with a history dating back 3,000 years, when China's emperors worshipped the moon for bountiful harvests.[2] The celebration is called Chuseok (autumn eve) in Korea, Tsukimi (moon-viewing) in Japan and Tết Trung Thu (Mid-Autumn Festival) in Vietnam

this event celebrated by the chinese is usually spent eating mooncakes and drinking teas. lanterns are also an important aspect of this festival. unlike the yuanxiao fesitval or mingxiao festival (which is the fictional festival featuring best boy Xiao in GI) where lanterns are released into the sky, lanterns are hand-held. this is a festival i celebrate every year hence i'm familiar with it — feel free to read up about this on wiki!

a/n: don't mind me, this is just a random idea that popped in my head. i'm in the mood for some angsty stuff these days so just had to get it out. Flute version of 无羁 (Wu Ji) from the drama 'Untamed' was the song which inspired my angsty mood while typing this. pardon my errors (I may have missed them and i kinda wrote this on a spur sooooo yea)

Please do me a favor and reblog this. Thank youuuu ❤

the vitality of liyue harbor has always been astounding; an envy of the seven nations.

bright, bustling streets even in the darkness of nights was enough to show the nature of the city.

though, today it was a different kind of bustle. stores were already closed; even the nocturnal businesses that one would only see at night.

the moon had been bright and round the past few nights while the people busied themselves for another festival to come.

— the mid-autumn festival, an annual festival celebrated by the people of liyue or at least that was what zhongli explained yesterday when he extended an invitation to her to join him and others in moon-gazing today.

tonight, the moon shone bright and full in the clear dark sky, seemingly more so than the previous nights.

strategically rooted to the ground of a spacious balcony overlooking the gentle waves below, the stone tables were in a perfect spot beneath the brilliant moon.

colorful mooncakes of various flavors and teacups filled with steaming tea laid before her.

she sat at one of the round stone tables with some funeral parlor staff and of course, zhongli himself who has been rather busy ever since she arrived—

the cheerful chatters and laughter drew her eyes away from the empty seat beside her and to the tables across theirs.

his archon days were over, he said.

he was simply trying to experience a mundane life as 'zhongli' now, as the geo archon had put it when she expressed her surprise at his involvement with a festival fabricated by the mortals' minds.

and indeed—

her gaze idled on him.

— he was doing it too well.

illuminated by the golden glow the table lanterns emanated, the cordial and relaxed atmosphere was warmed by attentive eyes and smiling lips.

all on him.

apparently, some things never changed. whether he was rex lapis or zhongli, he carried an alluring elegance and charisma. clinging to every word and his occasional hand gestures, they were like moths drawn to a flame.

she could understand why; she liked hearing him talk. she would have gone over too, if not...if not for this weight on her heart.

it has been nearly a year since she was in teyvat looking for her twin. these few days in the harbor, the full moon was a constant reminder of how time has passed, and yet...

a heavy sigh escaped her. a longing gleam waned in her eyes as she lifted her gaze to the sky.

they used to talk and eat under a full moon just like this, a bitter ache clenched her heart.

her teeth sank into her lower lip as it trembled.

please...not now. her hands curled into shaking fists as she tried to hold back the tears threatening to leave her eyes.

not now. not at this party. she silently pleaded with herself, her squared shoulders shaking. it took all her willpower to not let the dam break.

but one managed to escape her anyway.

—shit.

she was up on her feet fast and slipped away from the party as subtly as she could.

stumbling out of the party half-blind with tears wasn't exactly the best situation to remember about the cloak meant to keep her warm on an autumn night.

luckily, she didn't end up falling off the stairs she currently sat on.

autumn in liyue was typically not cold, but tonight seemed especially so.

she shivered to the chilly breeze brushing against her back. goosebumps crawled across her skin, particularly on the areas her dress failed to protect against the cold.

she couldn't quite bring herself to go back for the cloak. not with the mess she was now.

the sight of the round moon above wavered in her vision as tears quietly trailed down her cheeks.

under the vast, seemingly endless night sky, she felt small...

— her knees were drawn closer to her chest, curled fingers digging into her dress.

...and extremely powerless.

where is he? why can't she find him? is he even in teyvat? Is he even...still alive? does he even exist anymore?

—a dreading sense of hopelessness echoed in her heart and summoned another wave of tears wavering her vision.

under this wide, endless sky and its luminous moon, she felt alone, truly alone in the presence of the joyous cacophony of laughter and playful yells coming from the festival she left behind.

a nasty voice prompted by the noise taunted her — of how no one would notice, even if she were to walk right out of liyue harbor right now.

drowning in harsh, relentless thoughts, she failed to notice the gaze of a pair of wise, golden eyes on her back, soft with concern.

long legs covered the distance between them in a quiet, graceful stride; the gentle clacks of his loafers whenever their heels hit the ground slipped past her notice too.

not even when he climbed down the steps to settle himself next to her, a step above hers.

not even the inevitable proximity between their bodies caused by the short stairs spacious for one but narrow for two.

only until his coat was off his shoulders and wrapped around hers—

"why the tears on the mid-autumn festival?"

—she jolted with a sharp gasp, her widening eyes snapping over to him.

the calm and prodding gaze that met hers was accompanied by the tender brush of his thumb across her left cheek, right under her tearing eye before switching over to her other.

"zh-zhongli?"

she stayed stunned, unsure she was feeling so because someone noticed she had left or was it because of this simple gesture.

zhongli has always been a mentor-like figure to her. his words, his wise gazes, the comforting pets he occasionally gave on her head and back had always reminded her of how she was a mere child in his eyes.

but tonight...this, nothing about the gentleness his hand or his eyes emanate felt normal. or was she just delirious?

the strange stutter of her heart caused by the hand on her face, the blush heating up her cheeks made her tear her gaze away from his, flustered.

zhongli let his hand drop back onto his knee, but his eyes stayed.

crossing her arms to hold onto his coat sitting on her shoulders, she thought hard to recall his question.

"i can't help thinking about my brother, that's all." she looked back at him, smiling.

a smile he thought reminded him of the moon when it was not yet full — a quiet light melancholic with vague sadness.

"don't worry about me, i'll be fine." she slipped a glance over her shoulder in the direction of the festival. "you should go back there, zhongli, they need you. what's mid-autumn festival for liyue without you?"

she moved to remove the coat from her shoulders, but a hand wrapped around her wrist stopped her.

"but what's mid-autumn festival without you, my dear friend?"

zhongli regarded her intently, his eyes boring into hers for a second before shifting to focus on his coat.

there was something else in his eyes when they return to hers; it came and went in a flicker. "...keep this on, it's chilly today."

"thanks..." she murmured, her shoulders sinking as she yet again returned her thoughts to her brother.

"aether..." the pain she guarded showed on her face. "will i ever be able to see him again?"

tears started to well up in her eyes once again.

"i'm sorry, zhongli, i'm so sorry..." a quiet sob broke through, "today is supposed to be about the mid-autumn festival, and yet...here you are, listening to me."

zhongli's mouth opened then snapped close.

he always knew what to say whenever she was in a pinch. however, it was tears this time, and he wasn't exactly sure about what he should do about his body's urge to extend his arms out to her.

he was already more than a thousand years old.

as the former geo archon, he was the immovable rock. emotions and impulses he used to hold within himself in his younger days were buried deep under the sands of time...or at least they should be.

so where did this come from? was this strange stir an inevitable part of being a mortal?

"you know what?"

her movement to rise from the spot beside him turned his head back to her.

resolute hardened the glint in her tearing eyes, "i don't want to hold you back any longer,"

her fingers curled into a shaky fist, nails digging into her palm.

"....the people need you. i-i think i should just go bac—"

his hand flew out before he could think any further; his body was faster than his thoughts this time.

her next breath puffed out of her, in surprise and bewilderment as her body was tugged and cocooned by a breathing warmth before she could understand what happened.

and when she did, her eyes flew wide.

cheek pressed against his neck, she found herself held to his chest. she could feel his chin atop her head and his arms around her.

he was beside her a moment ago, and now he was behind sharing the same step as her, broad enough to accommodate them. was she the one who moved? or did he?

she didn't know how but she couldn't find the energy to care —the scent of musk and lingering tea engulfing her was an alluring comfort that made her want to stop trying.

so warm. really, really warm.

and so was his voice. "...but you need me." a hand caressed the back of her head.

there was a pause before a feigned cough ensued. "i meant, this."

[inactivehoe4floe]

The Day the Music Died

Yelena Belova x fem!reader

Trigger Warnings: car crash, character death (no happy ending angst)

1.2 k words

Yelena looked down at her watch once more. Sitting up in the bed you and her shared, she sighed worriedly. Reaching over to call you once more, she waited, your voicemail coming into her ear again. “Hello, this is (Y/n). Please leave a message at the beep.” Running a hand down her face, she left a message of concern, wondering where you were. Putting her phone down, she looked over at Fanny who took your spot on the bed. Letting her fingers gently thread through her dog’s fur, she felt a small sense of comfort fill her. Still, she was mostly filled with worry. You had always answered your phone and you were always home before seven. It was now midnight.

Getting up with the intent of searching for you, her phone rang, your name lighting up the screen. Quickly, she grabbed the phone, almost dropping it in the process. Answering, she felt her heart beat madly in her chest. “(Y/n), printsessa, are you okay?” She questioned, her words heavy with her accent due to her concern. She felt sick when it wasn’t you who replied. Instead, it was a doctor who said you were at the hospital in critical condition. Her hand trembled as she clutched the phone in her hand. “Okay, I’ll be there soon.” Yelena stood up, her legs shaking in the process.

Reaching over, she grabbed some sweatpants and a shirt. Getting dressed, she placed a coat over her shoulder. She still shaking as she swallowed thickly. Taking her car keys, she walked to her car, calling Natasha in the process. Natasha’s sleepy voice filled the car’s audio as Yelena drove. “It’s (Y/n), she’s been in an accident. I don’t know what to do.” She admitted, unsure of how to properly react. She knew what she wanted to do. She wanted to cry and scream and make you better with just a touch. However, she knew that being strong for you is just as important as crying. “She’s hurt and I wasn’t there to protect her.” Yelena’s voice cracked, causing Natasha to wince at the pained voice on the other side of the phone.

“Yelena, it wasn’t your fault. Like you said, she was in an accident. You can’t control that. Whether you were with her or not, you can’t control what happens.” Natasha assured her sister. She hoped her words reached her abnormally quiet sister. She waited minutes for a response, but heard nothing but silence and the car’s interior AC. Natasha worried now, not just for you, but for her sister. The girl who was always so hard on herself. She knew Yelena and knew she had to be incredibly worried for you. After all, she once told Natasha you were the one. “Yelena, are you still there? Can you respond to me? What hospital is she in? I’ll go there, too.”

Yelena shook her head, though she knew Natasha couldn’t see her. A tear escaped her eye as she neared the hospital. Parking the car, she peeled her clenched fingers from the steering wheel. “No, no. I’m fine. I’m just… She has a fear, you know? Of driving, and getting into car accidents. She was must have been so scared.” Her head fell back on the headrest before unbuckling her seatbelt. Clearing her throat, she looked at Natasha’s name on her phone. “I need to go, okay? I’m here. I’ll text you updates.” She stated before ending the call. She took a minute to gather herself before getting out of her car as she walked to the hospital doors. With trembling hands, she pushed the door open, looking around as her eyes scanned the area. Spotting the front desk, she went looked at the lady in the chair. “I’m here to see (Y/n). (Y/n) (L/n). I’m her emergency contact and girlfriend.” She identified herself. The lady nodded before paging a doctor to lead Yelena to your room.

The doctor came to greet Yelena shortly. Yelena analyzed his features briefly so she could remember who your doctor was if she had any questions. "Hello, I'm Doctor Jacobs.” He greeted with a friendly smile. Yelena didn’t understand how he smile with the love of her life being in a hospital room without her. Though, to be fair, he didn’t know you like she did. “I must warn you. She is on a ventilator, not able to breathe on her own right now. She has a few broken ribs and a broken leg. She is bruised and has stitches. She doesn’t look too good right now. She is under our surveillance though, and I am confident that she will recover.” He told Yelena as he stopped in front of the door. Room number 107.

Heeding the doctor’s warnings, she prepared herself for when she saw you. Walking in, she examined the bruises on your face and scratches marking along your cheeks. No doubt from impact and glass. She gently cupped your cheek. “Solnishko, my little sun, you gotta wake up for me, okay?” She whispered to you, placing her face besides yours. Yelena wanted nothing more than to rub her nose against yours, but was too scared of knocking into the hospital equipment and messing something up. Instead, she pressed soft kissed along your cheek bone as tears escaped her eyes. Her lips brushed against your reassuringly warm skin, telling her your were still alive with every beep of a machine in the background.

Her heart beat alongside the rhythm the machine produced. She was always so in sync with you. Taking one of your hands, she examined it. It should’ve had a ring upon it. If she wasn’t so cowardly, it would’ve. She has been meaning to propose to you for a long amount of time. Everytime she did though, she would get too nervous, and chicken out. She wiped away a tear before a sob made its way past her lips. She cried until she eventually fell asleep beside your still body. However, she was woken up by a machine beeping erratically. Pulling away, she saw your rising heartbeat as doctors rushed in. Backing up to give them room, it took herself a second to process what was happening.

A long beep was heard as her hazel eyes flickered to the screen in shock. A flat line. You were dead. The doctors used a defibrillator, yelling clear several times. However, it was hopeless. You were gone, leaving Yelena to slowly fall into a chair. Her head fell into her hands as she sobbed. Standing up as the doctors called it, the time echoed in her mind. “14:03.” That was the day the music died. February 3, 1959. Now, her music died as well. Falling by your bedside, her forehead pressed against yours. “She can’t be dead. She’s still warm.” She told the doctor who looked at her with sorrow in his eyes. “She can’t be dead!” Yelena cried out, holding your cheeks. Her sobs filled the air as two arms wrapped around her.

“I’m here.” Natasha’s voice was in her ear as she turned to her sister, collapsing in the red head’s arms. Natasha held onto Yelena as she cried upon her chest. “I’m here…”

[1awyerup]

Drabble + Conflict

" ... Were you even LISTENING to me, Martin? "

[When Parsley pipes up, the tone of his voice is disbelieving-- incredulous for all the world, although he speaks it so quietly. Tentative, almost like... it's a revelation to him, and he's unsure how to tackle it. Perhaps hypocritical in a way that his words cut Martin's off mid sentence. He doesn't let him finish speaking, taking his turn at being the one who won't hear it out in full. Clicking the pen in his hand once, twice, too many times before he stills his hand. The designer stutters in place for only a moment, golden eyes gone a touch wider, but it's a moment where those same eyes don't look in his direction as his boyfriend continues on in the same manner he was before. His smile doesn't even twitch out of place, and somehow? He's only the second most stubborn man Parsley has met.]

" 'Course I was. I'm sitting right next to you, y'know. "

[Martin says it so casually; it rolls right off of his tongue and the slightest shrug of his shoulder, careless like that. But Parsley is fairly familiar with the irritable sensation that sparks in his chest, a low burn as his brows furrow. He's familiar with the way Martin moves, always intentional. And he knows it’s a lie.]

" Yeah... I know. "

[They're sitting right next to one another, working on their own separate projects. Parsley, a recent case he's taken on that's proven to be more work than anticipated. Martin, with different scraps of cloth scattered around him in a frustrating halo of clashing patterns. Yet the lawyer can't help but eye the distance between them and feel its emptiness for the first time tonight. It only seems a larger gap to bridge when Martin sighs, heavy and pointed, and he finally looks up from his lap. Dropping the shimmery material he'd been fussing at. When their eyes meet, the businessman in him recognizes that look immediately. Parsley swallows thickly, an acknowledgment of the elephant in the room he can sense readying to charge through... and he already knows.]

[This will not be a discussion. This is going to be an argument.]

" Uh huh ... So what's with that look, then? I told you I was listening, didn't I? "

[It takes the whole of him not to flinch, not to let the sharpness in that question leave a scratch on his measured exterior. There's a wall that doesn't give beside him, with long red hair. Does he really want to get into that? Is it really worth the fight, tonight? For a long while, they just look at one another. Martin is still smiling, yet to a trained eye it's a grimace more strained and thin than usual. Disingenuous. His patience in this standoff is scathing, a silent opposition that hangs heavier in the air the longer he doesn't get a response. Parsley considers carefully whether this is an argument that needs to be had, and be had Right Now. It makes his stomach twist in the most GUILTY and slimy way that his gaze dares to tear away from Martin and dash towards the table, where his work sits unfinished despite the deadlines and expectations creeping closer towards it.]

[... He doesn't realize that he'd gone so rigid, back straighter than a ruler, until there's a noticeable slump in his posture. Until his whole body isn't readying for the confrontation it foresees ahead, and he doesn't look back at Martin at all. It's a reluctant retreat, but a retreat all the same. Reaching once more for one of the papers there on the tabletop, Parsley conveniently shuffles his body a bit further away from Martin on the couch in the process.]

" ... Right. Sorry. Just forget I said anything. "

[It's what he's good at, running away from the hard discussions. Still, it takes restraint he didn't think he possessed not to bite his reply out-- not to grind it from between his teeth, digging his heels into the carpet. It's a defeat that he can't surely describe, as if it were at his own hands, to bow his head and run away from something he started. It's shameful. And he's sure to remind himself that he chose that even as he dives headlong back into his work. That he chose this feeling, and more importantly, that he chose his career.]

[Knowing full well, of course, the things he should've been choosing instead.]

[reiven2017]

Happy birthday to you.

His son was a professional killer, Robin, the grandson of a bloodthirsty psychopath, and an insufferable child. Damian could have been expected to do anything and more, but when he approached Nim, his expression more somber than before, and quickly asked what seemed like a simple question, Bruce fell into a stupor.

Bruce was busy working in his office, completely focused on the documents and didn't even hear the door to his office open. He glanced briefly over the top of his glasses before returning to his work. "I'm listening, Damian. "it's been a few minutes. Damian wasn't happy about the idea of asking Bruce for help, but he wasn't going to listen to Dick's taunts, and Alfred, with his stiffly English manner, wasn't the right person to turn to with this question, so he didn't have many options. Wayne finally asked.

Bruce stopped writing, raised his head, and looked at his son with a strange expression on his face.

"Did he hear correctly?»

-" Damian?" - "What? I didn't think I asked anything so weird. " The boy said irritably, frowning and watching intently. "No, I said. Of course not. Just...why would you do that? " He could see his son pondering the answer for a moment, unsure whether to trust Bruce. - "You need to. "Damian's voice was cold, and there was an impenetrable mask on his face, and the man realized that he would not get a more detailed answer from him. — "So, what do you usually get for your birthday? "The boy repeated the question more impatiently. Despite his cold tone and stony expression, the slightest bit of nervousness in his demeanor was conspicuous. "Usually?" Bruce looked thoughtful. —" It depends on who exactly you are giving to, a woman or a man, and what else this person loves or is interested in. Probably the most common gifts are books or some useful things." Bruce continued to watch his son, finding his behavior strange, to say the least. Damian was still a rather obnoxious and sullen child, he had no friends and it didn't seem to bother him much, but his son never did anything for nothing, so there was something to worry about. He could see the gears turning in Damian's head as he pondered Bruce's words. It was several minutes before he seemed satisfied with the answer, and with a curt nod to his father, Damian left.

A week had passed since that incomprehensible conversation between him and Damian, and Bruce was still wondering why his son needed this information. Just as he was beginning to forget about it, the man standing in the doorway caught Damian doing something very strange. Sitting in his room, surrounded by a variety of new, apparently just bought things, from the TV to the candy, the boy stared intently at the wrapping paper in front of him. His gaze, pinned to the object in his hands, did not bode well for this colored piece of paper, and over his angry mutterings, Bruce heard a couple of words. —" It shouldn't be any harder than holding a gun." the man heard his son repeat it a couple of times, as if to convince himself of this, but the crumpled pieces of paper, scattered and viciously crumpled, said otherwise. Bruce could see how Damian was annoyed by this activity, but despite this, the boy continued to try to wrap something that looked like a box more or less neatly. Alfred stopped beside the man, carrying a tray. "Master Damian has been doing this since this morning. I am absolutely sure that I heard a couple of obscene expressions in Arabic and saw a spot of glue on the carpet, but despite this, he makes a success. This box looks neater than the last one." "The last one?" Bruce asked. "Yes, sir. If my memory serves me correctly, this is the 8th box in his hands in the past five hours. The first two were painful to look at. "The butler spoke in a monotone, but then his lips stretched into a small smile. —" I'm surprised Master Damian is so diligent and patient." "Me, too. Patience is not the best side of his character. Do you know who this is for, Alfred?" "No, sir. Master Damian didn't tell me who we owed this debacle to, but I think we'll find out soon enough. Bruce heard a crash in the room and turned away from the other man to look at his son. Damian struggled furiously with the tape, his eyes burning madly, and Bruce wasn't entirely sure that he wouldn't tear down the mansion by the end of the day.

November 15. An unremarkable day for everyone else except Damian. A whole week of effort, his frayed nerves, and his unequal battle with scotch had been all for this day. He got up, a few hours early for school, and in less than a minute, his nervousness had reached its limit. Thinking about it, he squeezed out almost the entire tube of toothpaste, then spilled coffee on his pajamas, forgot to walk Titus, and the most terrible thing for him almost lost the object of his efforts. Gift. Beautifully packaged, with purple bows at the top. He ignored the questioning looks from his father and Alfred as he stalked back to the car, clutching the gift in his right hand and the flowers in his left. Amazing white roses from the main garden of Gotham City. Don't go into the details of how he got them. Damian continued to ignore the strange smiles of the butler and Bruce, mentally rolling his eyes and realizing that this was not all they had to do.

When the stone mass of Gotham Academy finally came into view, Damian was already nervous. Not that it was so difficult for Damian Wayne to walk up and hold out his hand with a gift, saying a few words, but now he was as worried as ever. It was the first time he'd ever given her anything.< i> Yes, it was the first time when he gives something. . He just didn't know what to expect or what to be prepared for. Maybe she wouldn't like the gift. Or she doesn't like gifts. Or something else, and that was all he was thinking about right now. But the moment X has arrived. Alfred dropped him off at the main entrance, smiling calmly at him and wishing him a good day. Damian stumbled out of the car, almost tripping over his own feet, and frowned grimly. As if it's his shoes that are to blame for his being such a mumbler. His gaze swept the landing in front of the main entrance, and Damian stiffened as his eyes caught the girl. Rachel found Damian's gaze as well as his, and smiled at him warmly, waving her hand vigorously. The boy sighed softly, mentally urging himself to calm down, and in one superhuman quick step, he was at her side. Raven stared in surprise. Damian, without taking his eyes off the floor, in some uncoordinated movement, handed her the flowers, literally thrusting them at her, and quickly began to repeat them. - "Happy birthday, Rachel Michaella Roth! I bought you a present and I'm going to give it to you and I really said it." he pulled out the gift with the same quick movement, placing it in the girl's hands, without looking up from his shoes in embarrassment. It was a few agonizing seconds before he caught a movement from Rachel, and then the warm touch of her lips on his cheek. Damian blinked dumbfounded, pinned to the spot only by touching the tips of his finger to the cheek where the girl had kissed him.

[catxsnow]

AFTER HOURS chapter six

Summary: Enemies to the public, friends to their close ones, friends with benefits between them. Rival companies and an attraction that can’t be ignored.

Tim Drake x reader

Warnings: swearing, mature content, smut, 18+ only, mention death of parents, car crash mentions.

A/N: this is the softest thing I’ve written in a long time so I hope you enjoy. 

Word Count 3.7k

Whenever (Y/N) showed up to Tim's apartment in Gotham, she always went with the intentions of having sex. She was used to stripping her clothes off the second she walked through the door and pouncing on him. It was the same idea whenever he came to her place - or the few times in their offices.

This time, rolling up to the small parking space she had, she was nervous. Tim's invite to have supper was finally settling in. She wasn't there to have sex or talk business, she was there as a friend. They had never done something like this before, and she had no idea how the night would end.

Her hands gripped the steering wheel as she tried to rid these nerves that rolled through her. Why was she nervous? Tim had seen her when she was completely vulnerable to him, she had no reason to be nervous. Yet, looking up at his window on the top floor, she was. With a final breath, (Y/N) got out of her car and towards the front door.

A bottle of wine was in her hands as she knocked at his door. She assumed that since it was just dinner at his place, that she had no need to dress fancy. When she opened the door, she was taken aback. Tim wore dark jeans and a button up that was only half done up. His hair was damp from a shower and water droplets slid down his neck.

"Sorry, I lost track of time," Tim gestured to himself. The door was opened wider for her to walk in. He continued to button up his black and blue shirt before tucking it into his jeans. "You look beautiful, as always." The only time that he ever called her that was when she was naked and on top of him. The change of pace was refreshing.

Tim placed his hand on the small of her back to catch her attention. Being closer to him, she noticed the small slit going down his bottom lip. Without thinking, she reached up to his face and trace the healing wound with the pad of her thumb. "What happened?"

"Boys being boys," Tim shrugged off. She had nearly forgotten he had to cut their morning together short because his friends arrived in need of his help. He placed his palm over her hand, enjoying her warmth for only a moment longer. Tim intertwined their hands and led her to his tiny dining room.

His home was nothing compared to Bruce's manor, or her home, but he didn't want anything fancy. She envied him for that. There were so many times that she wished to move back to the city like this. It was safer where she was.

His dining room was cleaned up since the last time she was there. Two plates and sets of utensils were across from one another. A lit candle between along with  the two bottles of wine. It smelled delicious in there. Tim pulled a chair out for her to sit on and poured her a glass of wine. He looked tense.

He was surprised that she agreed to dinner. There were the rare times that they would order a pizza or something after a hook up, but never dinner like this. Never with the intentions of only a meal. It made him nervous. What if she really did only keep him around for the sex? Was his personality not good enough?

"I hope you like sushi," Tim announced. He wasn't sure what to make, but everyone like some sort of sushi, right? It took him half a day to make it all, and he debated whether or not he should have just ordered some. However, hours of rolling later, he had composed what he thought to be pretty damn good sushi.

"I hate it," she said with a stone cold face. Tim looked horrified for a moment until watching her burst out into giggles. Seeing his reaction was well worth it. "I'm kidding. I love it. And you knew my favourite wine?"

"Of course," Tim practically scoffed. He knew her favourite wine, her favourite brand of shoes, he knew lots of little details that she never expected him to pick up on. He picked up the bottle and poured them both a glass. He nearly let out that he was one of the world's greatest detectives, until realizing she didn't know.

Tim had become so comfortable around her that sometime he forgot that she didn't know about his second life. She had no idea that his split lip had come from fighting one of Conner's enemies or that his body was currently laced with bruises from the fight. She didn't know he risked his life everyday, or that he had saved hers more than once.

Late night walks from her office to her car, Tim would stalk behind her if he was on patrol. Twice did he save her from some sort of thug that wanted who knows what from her. She had no idea, and it would stay that way.

Tim grabbed the platter of sushi he had made and set it down on the table. He glanced between the rolls and her to see what her reaction was going to be. This was ridiculous - he was nearly twenty-two and he was nervous about what she was going to think of his cooking skills. When did he ever get nervous about things like this?

"Wait, did you make these?" she looked up at him with wide eyes. Tim cautiously nodded, unsure of if her shock was good or bad. "Holy shit, Tim. Why have you been hiding these skills from me?"

Tim let out a relieved breath. "You never stay long enough for me to show you," he blurted out. He didn't mean to sound so... judgmental. It had just come out like that. Every time she came over, he wanted her to stay long enough for something other than sex - whether that be cooking, or a movie or anything.

"I suppose you're right," she looked down to her lap. That was one of the sole reasons that she was there. Mr. William's words still rattled in her brain. Don't lose your happiness. Was Tim her happiness? Was she his? "Would it be so bad? If I did stay long enough?"

Those were his words, partially. Tim's eyes lit up at the sound of his own phrase. He remembered the panic in hers when he had first suggested it. The idea of getting closer than they ever had before scared her. What they had was good, really good, and she didn't want to lose that.

She didn't want to lose him.

"Not at all."

><

By the time that they reached the end of their dinner, they couldn't rid the smiles on their faces. After all the deep talks that they had - whether it be the loss of their parents or the companies they ran - they never had the time to be able to talk about the good times that they had when they were kids.

The conversations that night were light-hearted and much needed. She felt a new connection to Tim that she never had before. This wasn't enemies, or fuck buddies, or anything else that they had been through the years. This was a friendship that they never thought they would partake in.

Tim found himself finding more and more things that he liked about her. The way her eyes lit up when she talked of her friends from high school or the laugh she had when she truly felt free. He knew their connection had always been strong, but having that night had solidified everything he already believed.

For the first time, it had solidified with her as well. She understood what Mr. William meant. Tim made her happy, happier than she had ever been since her parents died. It took her far too long to realize this. So many years wasted of pretending to hate him - to the public and to herself.

"(Y/N)," Tim called her name out. She stood by his window, wine glass in her hand. Her chat with Mr. William was running through her mind. Doing things for herself hadn't been something that she had prioritized for a long time. It was always putting others, or the name of her family, first.

She was getting older. Old enough to know that she shouldn't have to please society when she wasn't pleasing herself at the same time. She deserved happiness just as much as anyone else in Gotham. So why did it scare her so much to dive off into the deep end with Tim?

"Will you let me stay tonight?" She blurted out. There was nothing more that she wanted than to take up in his arms again. The warm, safe feeling of being with him, she never felt like this before.

She turned to face him, scared of what he was going to say. Tim stuttered over his words with shock that she was the one asking to stay. He was surprised when she even agreed to have dinner with him, but want to stay over as well? Without insinuating that they were going to have sex? He was baffled.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have-"

"I want you to stay," Tim cut her off, finally able to speak properly. She took the last sip of her wine glass and left it on the windowsill. He grasped her hand and led her to his room. The same room where they had already spent hours upon hours together - yet this time time felt like the first.

There was no sex building up to this or some drunk idea. She was there because she wanted to be there, not for any other reason. It was far easier to accept with Tim guiding her right along.

How was he to react when he found out that she was feeling more for him than she ever had in her life? He always seemed so level-headed, how would this curveball effect him? She couldn't tell him, not yet - and not until she was sure that she truly felt... happy with him.

She was frozen in her spot once more that night. Thoughts and worry filling her again. Tim placed a hand on her waist, the other pushing her hair away to expose the base of her neck. He left soft kisses there, trailing them up to her jaw. She set her hand over his, a smile on her face but unbeknownst to him.

"What made you want to stay?" He asked. Tim had been itching to ask that question all night, but he feared that it would spook her. She thought rashly quite often, always moving ahead and not looking back until she needed to. It reminded him of Dick sometimes. Never thinking of his own feelings until he couldn't run any longer.

She gabbed his other hand and wrapped the snuggly around her waist. His body pressed against hers, bringing the most welcoming warmth. Tim kissed along whatever bare skin his lips could reach why waiting for her to answer.

"Happiness," she answered simply. Her happiness was the reason she wanted to stay. She wanted to feel happy - genuinely happy. Not happy because of some temporary pleasure or an alcohol induced night. She wanted happiness constantly and whenever she so wanted. In four years he was the only one that was able to give it to her.

Tim smiled against her skin at her response. He couldn't identify the feeling that erupted in his chest, but he knew he never wanted to let it go. Happiness. So simple, yet so full of meaning. Tim pulled away from her so she could face him properly. She searched his eyes to see if her answer was acceptable.

There was no time to determine. Tim tilted down to kiss her. Lips eager for each other but unlike any kiss they had ever shared before. This wasn't about chasing highs or forgetting everything in the day. It was unlike anything they had shared.

"Happiness," Tim parroted her words, a love-sick smile refusing to leave him. It wasn't what he was expecting, but he was glad to hear it. "You're one of a kind (Y/N) (L/N). Never forget that."

><

Tim understood what she meant by her reasoning of wanting to stay. Waking up with her cuddled into his side, he felt nothing but happiness. He felt that same warmth that he did the other morning when she had slept over. A heat that wouldn't go away for hours even after she left.

She wore one of his shirts, though it had ridden up in the night. Her palm was flat against his bare chest, and their legs tangled together. He wore only shorts. For the first time, their clothes from the previous night had be neatly folded on his dresser rather than strewn across the floor.

Tim trailed his fingers up her arm. His touches were featherlight, cautious not to wake her. He traced her jawline, the curve of her bottom lip. He wanted to trace every in of pure perfection of her. She was nothing but perfection.

(Y/N) stirred in her sleep, curling into him even more as she awoke. Her head tilted up to look at him, still disoriented from her sleep. It didn't matter how dazed she was, she knew this feeling that coursed through her veins and that was all that mattered. That feeling was pure ecstasy. It was even more evident as he brushed his lips against hers.

"Good morning."

His voice. Fuck did his voice make her weak. The evident hoarseness of it, the way it made him sound incredibly sexy. She neve got to hear him in the morning, the grueling tone of his voice that reminded her of the Dark Knight himself. His voice alone made her weak. It made her want to wake up like that every damn day.

The messy tufts of his hair that stood up in every way. The sleep lines from his blankets that were lashed across his skin. The inability to truly open his eyes from the bright light that cracked through the window. His muscles that rippled under her touch and the scars that laced his chest.

He was perfect.

"Good morning," She pushed herself up on her elbow to be able to admire his face better. As if she had done it a thousand times, she leaned down to give him a slow, passion filled kiss. When she pulled away, the pad of her finger dragged down the small cut in his lip that she had noticed the night before.

Tim snatched her hand before she could ask anymore questions about it and kissed her knuckles. His own were faintly tinted blue, not enough for her to notice this time. Though he know that how he got those injuries were anything but, this moment fell completely innocent and pure.

"Are we making this a thing? You staying over after sex?" They didn't have sex last night. In fact it wasn't even on either of their minds - mostly. As soon as she had gotten into his shirt and into his bed, she was content. She awaited Tim to join her, and the second that he did, she was caught in his arms.

Just how she wanted it to be.

"I don't see it being a bad thing," She shrugged, not giving him a full answer. In truth, she was still scared that he didn't have the same intentions. Staying over would only make herself clutch more into her feelings for him. If she assumed wrong, the devastation of it all would be deadly. "You want to?"

More than anything.

"I slept through the whole night. No nightmares, no anxiety. That hasn't happened since I was a kid," Tim told her, truthfully. His answer was just as vague as hers. He wasn't plagued with his loss or worry - just like the last time she had stayed with him. He never thought he'd get that again.

"Always finding ways to use me, huh?" She joked. Tim rolled his eyes at her. It did seem that way. Using her for sex to temporarily forget all his problems, sleeping next to her so nightmares didn't cloud him, what was next? "Use me all you want, Tim Drake. I enjoy it."

Tim knew she was joking. He knew that she knew that he wasn't using her - that was far from the case. They used each other in the beginning. The beginning was held with few words and little relationship. As time grew, as they grew, so did their relationship. What they had, it wasn't using each other. Even if it took them a long time to figure it out.

"I feel safe with you, Tim," She spoke as he said nothing to her previous comment. He was far too lost in thought to speak aloud. "And I don't mean safe as in Gotham is a hellhole and I need a protector. I mean I feel safe enough with you to be at my most vulnerable. I feel safe to trust you with my darkest secrets and my worst fears.

"You've always made me feel safe. I guess I just never wanted to accept that. I wanted to hate you, I wanted to beat you in every way. I couldn't. I never could," she confessed to him. Her eyes stared up at the ceiling, just as his once did. Now, he watched her with a look that was so distinct she would have known it, had she looked over.

Love.

Tim felt love. When people were around him, they felt safe because of his mask. They felt safe because they knew that he would put his life down to save them. People felt safe because of all that he knew and could do. People didn't feel safe around him because they felt like they could be themselves.

The Titans did. They felt that way about him, but someone outside that life? He was never able to experience that. Tim never thought that she would feel like that. She trusted him with everything. He knew that she never put her trust into anyone, and to put all of it into him? That was an honour he couldn't imagine.

"You refused to meet me for six months," Tim stated. He wasn't trying to shame her, he was only remembering how much things had changed. "I never thought I'd be able to get you in the same room as me, much less get to where we are now. I never thought I would ever get the chance to care about you so much."

She rolled on her side to face him. Strands of raven hair falling into his face and hiding his features. His eyes held youth, but his smile was aged. Tim had gone through lots in his life and she felt as if she had barely even scratched the surface of his complex life. One day she would know his secrets.

Her fingers trailed up his arm until reaching the dark bruise on his chest. It was small and circular - almost as if he had been stuck by the end of a pole. However he had gotten it, he didn't look ready to share the tale. As she reached the edge of the purple mark, he grabbed her hand. They fell intertwined between the both of them.

Everything in these past few weeks had changed completely. Never did she think that she would be sharing a bed with him through the night or spilling her desires with him. She lived for the moments like that with him now, before she feared them.

She yearned for him. Not in the sexual, desire-filled way that she was used to. She craved the soft moments like these and late night conversation. To be free to see the world with him without the eyes of everyone on them. To be with him, in every way possible.

"I had no intentions to have sex with you when you came into my office that night," she chuckled at the memory. "I don't know what came over me. I just knew that I had to have you - I know it sounds ridiculous and that I sound like a slut for it - but it's true. I needed you that night. I need you now - different than before."

"What do you mean?" He asked. She broke away from their locked gaze.

"I need more than late night calls and shameless fucks. I need to wake up to you like this and to see your smile first thing. I need to listen to your voice when you get excited about things. I need you Tim, more than I ever imagined."

"I'm not going anywhere," Tim smiled. He placed a palm against her cheek, swiping his thumb against her cheekbone. His eyes flickered to her lips for less than a second but it was all she needed to pull herself into him and connect their lips. She needed him, and that was all he ever wanted to hear.

Their bodies molded together, bending against the curves of one another. Needy grabs at any loose material or gripping to bulging muscles. There was nothing but need to this kiss - need to be together, to be so consumed within each other that they couldn't tell up from down. The need to show their love that neither could admit.

Whatever shift that she had caused in their relationship within the past twelve hours, it was for the better. Whatever the hell they wanted to call it, it was just one step closer to their desired destiny. Destiny was a false hope for big dreamers. She wasn't a dreamer, not when she knew work was the only thing that would get her to where she wanted to be.

Tim pulled away from her. His chest heaving from the lack of oxygen but unable to keep away. She waited a moment before pulling him in for another. Her teeth grazed his bottom lip before she rested her forehead against his. "Do you mean that? You won't leave me?"

"I couldn't even if I tried."

taglist:  @unknowntoanyone @willieoo @kindashittywriter @subtleappreciation @yandereforyou @pricetagofficial @because-icanhide @magicisabluewish @hyp-oh-critical @littleredwing89 @boy-georgina @sparkleofpizza @craptainlou @timtimmersdrake @hauntingsonofrobin @anothertimdrakestan @idkmanicantenglish @vvipgot7be @psych0crybaby @theconfusedpansexualbitch @spiitfiires

[sacrochymeia-kalos]

"Is there a library? You did say you wanted to look for one, I believe? You could probably learn about Pokemon and Pokeballs that way!" -HS anon

"Huh? Uh, yeah... I should go look for one of those." Elliot sets off, asking around for where a potential library (or similar) may be. He's pointed to the "Trainers' School", which is close by.

Once he gets there, he peeks his head in and a teacher greets him. It's an old man, well groomed. "Hello there! What brings you to the Trainers' School, lad?"

"Er." Elliot scratches the back of his head, unsure on what to say. Would it be acceptable to ask about it directly? "Well, I just got here. To this country, I mean. And, the thing is, I'm not entirely sure what a Pokemon is? Ha, yeah, my parents weren't the best. So I was hoping to get some reading material on that? To better, uh, educate myself."

There's a long moment as the teacher processes what Elliot's said, but then his face melts a little into a smile. "Ah, don't worry! We don't get folk like you often, but it's always a wonderful thing to teach. So! Let me take you through the basics. Come, sit down-" he pulls two seats out, to the side of the studying students. "So! Welcome to the world of Pokemon. This world of ours is widely inhabited by creatures known as Pokemon, as I just stated. These mysterious creatures can be found in every corner of the land we live in, the sky we fly in, and the ocean we swim through. We live with them! Sharing strength to prosper. They can do wondorous things, like moving massive boulders or helping construct complicated electronics! Not to get into the weeds. A lot of people catch Pokemon, whether to live alongside or to fight with them against others; the Trainers' School in particular is helpful with the latter kind. The greatest challenge one can face is the Elite Four and subsequently Champion, as far as most people are concerned. Though there are some who only allow those who beat the Champion to battle them."

Elliot listens intently as the old man speaks. "In any case, you probably shouldn't worry too much about that. There are some benefits (and in fact it is a rite of passage for most), but... you said you came from far off, and to not have heard of Pokemon I can only imagine. So don't sweat it, ha ha ha!"

"...huh." He's still processing information, but after a bit speaks up. "So, I wasn't entirely truthful."

"Oh? What on earth do y'mean, sonny?"

"Well, I said that I was new here. The thing is, I really don't think I have enough identification for transportation back to where I live? And it'd be hard to get there anyways."

The old man leans back and nods, arms across his chest. "Ah, yes. That is a predicament! Well, the easiest way to get identification is to go ask for a Trainer ID from Professor Sycamore in Lumiose City. Or more accurately, ask his assistant. They give those out to anyone they can accurately assess, and they've got psychic pokemon on hand to help with the assessment. Er- no mind reading, mind you. Just pokemon who can sense the sort of person you are."

"So like instinct, but better?" Elliot asks. The teacher seems almost flabbergasted at this, but quickly composes himself. He chuckles.

"Yes, yes! Exactly. My, you're a quick learner. Here- tell Sycamore's assistant that Demos of the Trainers' School is sponsoring your ID. It probably won't do much, but you'll certainly be helped by it! As for transportation, Lumiose is just up the way. Head right, then take the first exit there! You should be able to walk right on up to the big city. There'll be signs!" The old man gets up and almost raises his hand for a high-five before rethinking and offering a handshake.

Elliot shakes his hand gladly. "Right, yeah. Got it- go to the big city, look for a professor. Thank you much! Er... just in case, is there anything dangerous I should look out for?"

Demos pulls back a bit, thinking. "Well, there's been speak of some sort of evil team in the shadows, but someone'll get them sooner rather than later. To be honest, looking out for Pokemon is the only thing you really need to do. They are much, much stronger than humans- while mostly passive, don't disturb them too much. If you do... generally, you'll want to stand your ground until they tire themselves out a bit. If you injure them at all, just let the nearest police officer know! We've got emergency services on hand." He laughs, clapping Elliot on the shoulder. "But you look like you've got a handle on that already! Good luck, my boy."

"Uh, yeah! Thank you. I'll keep an eye out." Elliot awkwardly shuffles, but Demos has none of it.

"Alright. I've got some students to teach! Head on out. If you need any medical supplies, swing by the Pokecenter- the red-roofed building. They'll have what you need!"

Elliot leaves the Trainers' School. He doesn't want to cause any fuss, so... time to go to Lumiose, he supposes. To get identification. Maybe some more answers.