#and idk there's just a lot of things i wish i could've known

[ame-to-ame]

oh. hm.

[cactuscoolerr]

hello how are you?? hope you're doing amazing<3 by the way,can u request for a part 2 for the lacy fanfic? (idk fanfic?hc?idk) if it's possible?For the characters,can u make one for Sae and idk Kaiser? anyways you can ignore this if you want! no pressure! thankyouu<3 (sorry my english is kinda bad.Not my first language)

⋆｡˚. lacy - michael kaiser, itoshi sae

• sfw (mentions of sex in kaiser's but nothing too explicit)

• notes: this is my first time writing for kaiser.. hope this is okay ( • ᴖ • ｡)

. ˚ ｡⋆ michael kaiser

it wasn't easy being the girlfriend of the michael kaiser. before he met you, it was known that he'd go off with any girl. he was a player and he had no means of changing that, until he met you.

of course, he didn't change immediately upon meeting you. you and him had your hook up and he went the rest of his week like he normally would. that was until he found out that you, who just so happened to move into town, were a very close friend of one of his teammates.

kaiser had acted nonchalant about the whole situation, pretending that he was just meeting you for the first time, like he wasn't balls deep inside of you just earlier that week. but on the inside, his mind was going rampant with thoughts of you and the night you and him had spent together.

after a while, kaiser finally got ahold of himself and did the unthinkable. he asked you out.

the whole thing went well and in the blink of an eye, you had been the most important part of his life for three years now.

you and him had your ups and downs but for the most part, neither you or him had ever been happier than with each other. though, his history of hooking up with various girls seemed to get to you more often than not. you knew that it was over now and he was loyal to you, but it was a hard thing to forget.

"are you alright, my love..?" michael was pressed up against your side, once again forgetting what personal space was.

a soft hum came from you as well as a small nod. immediately, your boyfriend knew that there was something else that you were hiding. it was a common occurrence and yet he still didn't know exactly what was wrong at moments like this.

"you sure?" he pressed closer into you, making you squirm.

"stop it, micha.." a soft giggle fell passed your lips and kaiser smiled gently at you. "you don't like me anymore then?" his eyes met yours and you immediately looked away with a dramatized sigh. "uh huh.. I absolutely hate you. glad you figured it out"

instead of acting as he usually did and continuing the drama routine, kaiser gently turned your head to face him once more and pressed a kiss to your forehead. "i wish you'd be honest and tell me what was wrong.."

your eyes met the faint scarred mark on his neck from one of his previous hookups rather than his eyes. the sight made you swallow roughly, now finding it hard to make eye contact with him now that you were thinking about your boyfriends past once again. sometimes, you'd even convince yourself that he wasn't serious about the relationship. like you were just a toy to him like those other girls were on the nights he decided he wanted them.

kaiser noticed the way your eyes flickered towards his neck, and it finally clicked.

"my love.." he once again brought your face towards his own, kissing your soft lips this time while his hand gently ran up and down your arm in hopes of soothing you. "they mean nothing to me, okay..?"

waiting for you to nod, kaiser brought you in for another kiss. "you mean everything to me, darling. three years of my life have been filled with you and I could've never been happier with that fact.."

"i love you."

the two of you spoke at the same time, making your eyes meet in surprise, the both of you finding absolute love and admiration in the gaze you held towards each other.

"i love you a lot.." you whispered and wrapped your arms around kaiser's neck to pull him into a deep kiss, trailing your kisses down until they reached that scar on his neck to replace it with a mark of your own.

. ˚ ｡⋆ itoshi sae

"are you gonna come eat?"

you jumped at the sound of your boyfriend talking to you, quickly slamming your phone down on the desk before turning around to smile awkwardly at him. "uh huh.. just give me a second"

sae eyed you suspiciously, sighing and crossing his arms as he leaned against the doorway.

"you're hiding something" he said simply, the usual blank face returning. "what is it?"

with a shake of your head and a slight shrug, sae grew visibly annoyed, stalking over to you and holding out his hand as if he was expecting something from you. "what.." your eyebrows pinched together in confusion. "give me your phone" sae's gaze was stern as well as his intimidating tone.

a sigh fell passed your lips as you hesitated, meeting his eyes once more which made you give in and hand sae your phone. you watched his reactions as he looked at what you were looking at, though you were disappointed with the lack of reaction he gave you. it was hard to tell if he was mad because you were stressing about something he had already assured you about.

"didn't i already tell you not to trouble yourself over dumb shit like this?" his eyebrow was raised as he gazed down at you, not yet handing your phone back to you as he began scrolling.

a soft sniffle sounded from you as you gently wiped the bridge of your nose, gulping the suffocating feeling in your throat. "yeah.. sorry.."

sae sighed softly, placing your phone back down on the desk. he looked at your for a few seconds, noticing how you were beginning to tear up. it wasn't a secret to sae that you were sensitive and he was careful with that fact. he was almost annoyed with himself for being the cause of upsetting you.

"im not mad.." another sigh came from your boyfriend. still, you refused to look at him again, feeling embarrassed that he had to tell you to stop overthinking again.

you knew that his last relationship was apparently a pr thing. sae had been getting articles written about him for his poor attitude and his manager had thought a pretty girlfriend and public outings would fix that. of course, it worked. though, the girl got a lot of hate from fans of sae, saying she was a distraction or she didn't deserve to be with him.

and when sae began dating you nearly a year later, this time because he actually wanted to be dating someone, he kept you hidden from prying eyes.

it was easy for sae to have a private relationship and you enjoyed yours and sae's quiet and intimate relationship together. no one knew that sae was gentle with you, unlike how he was with everyone else. but that was also the issue. it was hard to be a secret when his last relationship was so public and there were so many pictures of them being all over each other, though sae claimed he hated it, said it made him uncomfortable.

"we shouldn't have to have a public relationship for you to believe that i love you," sae spoke, pinching the brim of his nose. "i know you love me.." you looked up at him, sniffling softly. "its just hard when other people are claiming that you don't because you don't want to be public with me.."

with another deep sigh, you were pulled into sae's arms, your cheek pressed into the warmth of sae's chest. "i just want to protect you. is that so hard to believe?"

you gently shook your head no, wiping the few tears that slipped passed your waterline. "its because i love you, you know" a careful hand moved to card through your hair, soothing you even more with your boyfriends rhythmic heartbeat that slightly sped up when you wrapped your arms around his torso.

"love you, too.." you whispered, moving your head to look up at sae, who pressed a sweet kiss to your forehead.

"yeah, i know you do, crybaby.." sae grumbled with a slight roll of his eyes, annoyed that you so easily got him to show you his sweet and gentle side. but it made you feel at ease knowing that side was reserved for you and you only.

[casmick-consequences]

i rewatched the finale just now, and I have some thoughts.

mainly, i want to thank taika and david for this wonderful show that's brought me immense joy this last month, and i'll always take it with me no matter if we manage to get a third season or not.

did i like the finale? yes, i really did. did i think it was very rushed, had weird scene placements and could've gone with another episode to even things out? also yes.

as far as izzy goes (and this is where it gets extremely controversial knowing how much this fandom loves him); i am actually glad his storyline ended here.

this entire season, we got to enjoy him and we got to see his redemption arc. from someone who is obsessed with this monster of a being, to someone who learns to come into his own, away from all the toxicity and poison. he gets to find out more about himself, and with that grow closer to the people around him and allow himself to have friends. a family, even. would i have loved to see him live a full life like this? definitely. but story-wise, this is a perfect ending for him. "you born alone, you die alone" he said, and then he passed peacefully surrounded by his family and in the arms of not blackbeard, but edward.

i need the people of this fandom to understand that just because your favorite character died, doesn't mean that it instantly turns into a bad show/season/whatever. you have to look outside of your bias, and instead of going "no fuck this show because i did not want him to die" you could go "i am incredibly sad that he died but i'm so happy to have known him and to have him in my life". it's a show, the character isn't going away simply because he died.

but then again, izzy didn't mean as much as he did to the majority of you and i don't wanna go around telling people how to feel, because feelings and emotions are real and if he meant a lot to you then yes, of course you're hurt. and that's 100% completely valid. just don't take it out on the rest of the show and the show writers (saw some ppl say that nasty things were being tweeted at djenkins and that's not ok. at all.)

idk, even after watching it twice i feel kinda... weird.... like too much happened in little time. but i am OVERJOYED that lucius and pete got to have their little wedding <3333 they're mateys!!!! i just wish it wasn't over in 30 seconds, as well as completely overshadowed by izzy's death 2 minutes before.

but i do think the finale had some GREAT bits in it. even if most of it felt rushed, there was comedy, emotion, romance, GREAT kisses (the way gentlebeard was handled in this episode made me very giddy!!)..... it just always delivers.... and watching this with everything else that happened in s2 I can safely say that this might be my favorite season of any show out there.

once again; THANK you taika and david <3 love youuu

[its-all-papaya]

wait i have to add: "I'll write that injury landoscar for you down the road as an apology" NO IT WAS PERFECT THANK YOU !!! but i won't say no to injury landoscar so if you want to write it 👀 (i would be happy!) that's an ask i'd like for the I wish you would write a fic where... ask game tbh!

maybe like. one of them hears that the other crashed or sees it happen and finishes the race on autopilot, frantically asking if the other is okay over the radio and not getting a straight answer (like ferrari: we are checking) and after the race not giving a SHIT, running directly to where he's told by someone the other is although maybe having a podium finish? or media duties?, ignoring everyone on the way there and then seeing they're alright and just. taking the biggest breath ever known. and being overwhelmed? and then just. kissing him in front of the medics? idk. but! it could also be soft, finding the other after all the media duties and after the other was cleared for visitors and they're sitting there under shitty hospital lighting, one of them cracking jokes about being not life-threateningly injured and the other just shaking because he could've LOST him and it all suddenly shifts and makes sense in his head and there's never been a world in which losing the other wouldn't break him. and then it's the most important thing in the world to be able to taste the breath in the other person's lungs and feel his heartbeat quicken and have PROOF that he's alive and warm and not dead. is this too much? probably. but i'm DYING to hear your thoughts on how YOU would write it PLEASE!!

Okay, yeah, Landoscar injury fic lfg, let's do this. Here's how I'd do it:

The thing about me is I always have to have An Angle. I can't write straight-up fluffy comfort, I've gotta make the characters THINK first. So this is kind of not the exact same as your description, but I think I'd write it from the POV of injured Oscar. Hear me out, hang on.

tell me what you wish I'd write

So Oscar gets hurts in a crash and he's sent to the hospital, obviously. The whole way out of the car and on the way, he's like... not panicking, but not feeling well at all. Nothing makes rational sense in an ambulance, everything feels high-stakes and scary and serious and the shock is still setting in, so he can't process that well. Oscar obviously isn't very open about how he's feeling, usually, either, so being noticeably affected by things is just more stress on top as he fights to keep the cool, calm demeanor people expect out of him.

See, generally, Oscar tries not to need too much from anybody. But he's hurt and a little scared and lonely and the lingering shock combined with whatever's in his IV drip is making his emotions stronger and closer and not anywhere near as manageable as normal. Kim is there, but Oscar wants Lando telling him jokes and giving him soft eyes and holding his hand and telling him it's going to be okay, because Lando always knows how to handle new situations Oscar hasn't been in yet. And Oscar's trying so so hard to be normal about it all, but he's actually Not Okay.

I wasn't around for Vegas '23 (ironic because I was accidentally in Vegas hours after the GP, but I didn't follow F1 yet, so) but I've read a lot of post-vegas fic and it's all cute and needy Lando, which is a great genre. But I think I'd set that as Oscar's mental backdrop for this. Because they weren't even them yet in Vegas, weren't like they are now, and even still Lando asked for Oscar in the hospital and had no problem reeling him in by the hand and taking comfort from him when he needed it. And they're much closer now! Lando definitely cares a lot about him! Oscar knows that! So why is he so nervous to just ask for him?

Oscar would spend a decent amount of time trying to figure out how to ask Kim to get Lando there: thinking up excuses for why he needs Lando for something specific, reasons it makes sense, or why it might benefit everyone, but when he finally gets up the nerve to just ask, Kim is like "?? yes? Lol. Obviously Lando is coming. He's been asking about you nonstop, drove both Will and his press officer up a wall asking for updates every five seconds. He's texted me 400 times in the last 20 minutes. Lando is for sure coming, you actually don't really get a say in that one. Silly goose."

Oscar is usually so unbothered, but as soon as Lando shows up, he knows it's going to be a struggle not to lose it, because like... Lando's in the door looking adorable and concerned and Oscar NEEDS Lando so much closer. Immediately. He needs Lando holding his hand and petting his hair and whispering to him even though they don't even really do those things normally.

And Lando's worried, so he gets to Oscar's bedside and is restless. Hand on the covers, eyebrows pulled together, trying to straighten things and fluff pillows and asking about Oscar's pain levels and where he's hurt and eventually he just goes "Fuck, Oscar, can I just- I need to hug you. Please. Is that okay?"

Lando's so gentle with it, trying not to hurt his boy, but Oscar like... cannot hold it together. And so he starts breathing a little funny in his effort not to cry or do anything to show how everything is hitting at once, how he wants Lando, but Lando of course notices that something is wrong. Probably assumes he's hurting Oscar, so he pulls back, but that's the opposite of what Oscar wants. So suddenly, horrifyingly, he's tearing up, and that makes Lando panic more because he's probably never seen Oscar cry. Didn't think that was a thing Oscar did. And Oscar's shaking his head, and his heart rate monitor does not sound normal, and Lando's like "...shit. Fuck. Do you need me to call the nurse?" and Oscar is like "no, just come back. please, lando."

Lando goes, obviously, sits on the side of Oscar's bed and picks up Oscar's hand in both of his own and starts rubbing his wrist a little and saying "hey, it's okay, buddy, I've got you, I'm right here. Deep breaths, you're gonna be okay, I'm not going anywhere."

It should feel patronizing, being talked to like that, but instead it takes the anxiety back down a few notches, outside the range of imminent panic. Oscar feels like a little child again, needing to be held after scraping his knee, but he does. Need to be held, that is. So he's fighting this internal battle between needing comfort and wanting to be good and normal about the situation, and his control is softened by his pain meds so he can't school his expressions as well as normal, and soon Lando’s asking “What is it? You need more pain meds? Kim? What do you need, Osc?”

SNIPPET TIME CONGRATS !

Oscar can’t look at Lando when he says it, but he finally manages to mumble “can you come lay with me?” at the ceiling. Lando doesn't spare him a moment to second-guess before he's kicking off his shoes and climbing up, arranging Oscar's limbs a little so they’ll both fit. His arm’s around Oscar’s shoulders in a blink, and everything’s a little less overwhelming when Oscar can turn his chin just a little and smell Lando’s body wash, can twitch his fingers and touch the soft hem of Lando’s sweatshirt. Reality gets a little more tangible again, and Oscar thinks it's funny, how he feels a fraction more himself when he's pressed to Lando's side.

The beep of the heart-rate monitor fades back into ambient noise as it settles towards normal. Or normal for them, Oscar supposes. In the middle of his contemplating, Lando starts tracing the vein on the soft side of Oscar's arm, wrist to the crook of his elbow. Two fingers, one on either side, raising goosebumps across the exposed skin. The disconnect the crash had rattled into Oscar's brain shifts a little under Lando's attention, gets a little floatier and a little less disorienting. He's getting sleepier, and it's probably the last of the IV bag dripping steadily through the back of his hand, but it's nicer to believe it's Lando, chasing the drugs up towards his heart with those same two fingers. Oscar gives up one more piece, a little more control, as he snuggles a little deeper into Lando's side. He's allowed to, he thinks. Here. Like this. Lando must agree, because he hums happily at the movement and hugs Oscar even closer. Through the fog in his brain, Oscar thinks he feels lips at his temple.

"Thank you," he mumbles into the collar of Lando's t-shirt.

"Of course," Lando says, and "thank you. It's nice. To lay like this. Was worried about you."

And then, after a long moment of silence, "It's okay to need things, Osc. From anybody, but especially from me. There's not a lot I wouldn't do for you. Okay? You can always ask."

Oscar frowns, because "I don't need anything, it's not like that." His forehead wrinkles as he bats the exhaustion back. The excuse is sitting at the tip of his tongue, but he can't quite feel it out.

Lando gives him a second, then takes over again. It's a reversal, Lando finding Oscar's words for him, thumbing worries away like sweaty hair from his temple.

"It's also okay to want things, Oscar."

Oscuh.

Oscar, feeling a little braver or maybe just a little less afraid, palms his way across Lando's stomach, curls his hand around Lando's side, taps his fingers against the warm space below Lando's ribs.

"What do you want, baby?" Lando asks into the skin above his ear.

Oscar lifts his head a little, blinks through his lashes up at his teammate. He's hallucinating, or the concussion is worse than they thought, because there's no way that those words are coming out of Lando's mouth in that tone with nobody to hear them but Oscar himself. Lando's fingers drag a bit firmer against his wrist, the catch of nails sending little shivers through Oscar's limbs.

Oscar remembers Las Vegas, remembers how the same fingernails had left little white half-moons in the back of his hand, how they had taken hours to fade, and he gets it, finally.

Lando's fingers come to rest in the middle of Oscar's wrist, right over his pulse.

"Stay? Please?" Oscar says. The lips on his temple are firmer this time, impossible to explain away. "Until I can go," he adds. Lando's still pressing little kisses down the side of his face, so Oscar sums up the rest of his courage and finishes with, "And tonight." He doesn't say forever, but it's only a breath away.

And then Lando takes him home and takes care of him and it's soft and cute and Lando falls asleep listening to Oscar's heartbeat and kisses him awake in the morning and makes sure he takes his pills and he heals up and they become boyfriends the end <3

Thank you for the ask !! And for the compliments in general !! Hope this was nice for you even though it was STILL not desperate. I'm too Soft (TM).

[taruruchi]

SR Taruchi [Music Week] Voice Lines - PASTEL BXMB!

Thank you @raguiras for hosting this event!!!! Your idea is SOOO good and creative, I love all the groups and how much thought you put into it!! Tbh this is the first fan event I've officially participated in and it's all bc the concept is so fun HAHAHA ty again mionn <333

There are more voice lines + the non-pull looking card under the cut!

Summon Line: Sometimes I forget this is just a short event thing. I'm having a lot more fun than I thought! Kinda makes me wish we could keep doing this.

Groovy: Is it time for our performance? All right, I'll give it everything I've got!

Set to Home: Shall we go practice?

Home Transition 1: I look so fire, right?! These clothes look so good! Though it's a little uncomfy, since it's not my usual style and all. I just gotta get used to it.

Home Transition 2: I won't lie, I'm… not so good at dancing. And my singing is kinda mid. Agh, I gotta practice more… Thank goodness Kalim is such a good leader! He's so understanding.

Home Transition 3: *sigh* I don't know if I'm cut out for all this. It sure drains someone's energy… But no way am I gonna drag down my group! I want us to win, after all!

Home Transition/Login: Hmhmhm~ Hmm~ Oh! Uhh… You heard nothing, all right?! Don't share that melody with anyone, please! It's supposed to be our group's song for the competition!

Home Transition/Groovy: Do you think I got better after all our practices? I sure don't feel as bad as before. Maybe I could become an idol one day… Haha, just kidding. No way.

Tap Home 1: This group is so cutesy. I like it a lot, but sometimes I get worried I don't really fit… Ah, what am I talking about? Idia and Sebek are here too, and they probably fit the concept less than I do.

Tap Home 2: I can't imagine Allen handling this entire event. But have you seen him while he's with his group? He's amazing! It makes sense he's supervising basically the whole thing, ‘cause he's 100% qualified!

Tap Home 3: Too bad the group doesn't use instruments. Maybe I could've shown off my crazy piano skills. Haha, I'm kidding! My skills aren't that good, trust me.an idol one day… Haha, just kidding. No way.

Tap Home 5: Hmm, I wonder who came up with the group's name? PASTEL BXMB! does seem very fitting, but it also reminds me of bath bombs… Wait, why am I talking about this? I don't even understand bath bombs.

Tap Home 1: This group is so cutesy. I like it a lot, but sometimes I get worried I don't really fit… Ah, what am I talking about? Idia and Sebek are here too, and they probably fit the concept less than I do.

Tap Home 2: I can't imagine Allen handling this entire event. But have you seen him while he's with his group? He's amazing! It makes sense he's supervising basically the whole thing, ‘cause he's 100% qualified!

Tap Home 3: Too bad the group doesn't use instruments. Maybe I could've shown off my crazy piano skills. Haha, I'm kidding! My skills aren't that good, trust me.

Tap Home 4: Have you seen Azul anywhere? He said he wanted to meet up after our individual practices with our groups so we can— Uh, ahem, you know what? Never mind. I'll go look for him myself.

Tap Home/Groovy: Performing like this is a lot harder than I thought. You have to be conscious of everything, from your expressions to your movements to your voice. Music artists, especially idols, must've had really rigorous training to get to where they are now…

Taruchi's SR card w/o all the text stuff:

Little rambles: I was initially just gonna make her mic sparkly, I've known that since the beginning, but. Idk there's something about me and glitters that makes it spread everywhere OAKSKDJSD also when I showed this to my sister, when she saw the stickers, she literally went "CUTIE MARKS??? SHE'S A PONY???" like girl 🧍‍♀️

Credits: The event is Music Weeks at NRC! by @/raguiras, who also owns Allen who's mentioned in one of the voice lines. The dividers were made by @/firefly-graphics

[maddrumsticks2]

Just finished Skyward Sword! And I finished A Link Between Worlds a few days ago.

So, double post time! I'll start with ALBW because I had a few days to sit on that one.

Also just realized that with the completion of Skyward Sword, I have officially played and completed every 3D Zelda game! YIPPEEE!

(Long post below the cut!! Along with major spoilers for both aforementioned games!)

Ravio is SO SILLY. Though, he's already talked about a lot. Anything I could say about him has probably already been said.

But hey, I can't help but really like this silly guy who stole my house and all my rupees, okay? He's a little rascal.

So instead, I love Hilda having a clear motivation behind her actions. She is just trying to restore her kingdom. She wants her people to thrive. But she turned to the triforce instead of trying to find better meds to maybe help her people. Though the place was literally breaking apart, so maybe there really wasn't anything else that would've worked.

The story of this game is really heavy in the last 30 minutes, and that's really it. Before that it's just dungeons. Oh, and helping Ravio retire. I absolutely LOVED that XD

So, the distribution of the story could've been done better. But really, this game is so underrated for a Zelda game. Also, the whole moving through walls thing is super fun. LOVED that mechanic. Altogether, great game.

Okay, on to Skyward Sword!

SO good. This game does NOT deserve all of the negativity the surrounded it for some reason. Sure, I used button controls (I couldn't figure out motion controls for the life of me pff) but STILL! I think the Switch version definitely made it easier on me. Though idk what the Wii version is like so I shouldn't be trying to compare them lol.

On to non-gameplay stuff, the dungeons were so cleverly designed. As someone who is not particularly smart, I never found myself super stuck in the dungeons. Instead, I had a lot of fun with them! That's always a plus with me, but I don't find too much shame in looking up a walkthrough here or there.

Story! So fun! I loved Groose's character arc especially. I totally despised him at first but he reached silly status pretty quickly. His character was handled really well, too. He didn't just flip personalities. He showed his flip through his actions, not his words. Which for Groose is a perfect choice.

Also, Ghirahim is SUCH a theatre kid. Nothing can change my mind on that. (And before anyone gets mad, I'M a theatre kid. I know what we act like.)

I find it interesting that the whole game only takes place in three regions that you visit over and over again. Other Zelda games have done this before, but I think Skyward Sword does it the most. I loved all the regions, but tbh I think the forest was the most boring to me. The Ancient Cistern was cool though. I won't deny that. Also, Eldin was probably the most traumatizing for Sky. SO many bad things happened there lol. Like being burned because of how hot it is, then finding chains Zelda has definitely been bound in, being told he was too late. Then he comes back later and not much traumatizing stuff that time. Maybe getting chased by lava, probably not lasting trauma, just scary for a minute lol. But when he comes back a final time, the volcano erupts, covering the sky in ash and leaving him with no return to the sky. To make matters worse, he gets beaten up and captured by monsters and all his stuff was stolen. Wow I just wrote a lot about Eldin pfff

Sadly, I already knew about the whole Zelda is Hylia thing. I kinda wish I hadn't known that. That cutscene probably would've been cooler if I played this game in the complete dark.

Also, Link is so subtly expressive in this game. He actually has facial expressions! I love how at the end of the game, you can SEE Link's determination. You can see his desire to cut Demise down and save his world. I LOVE his expressiveness!

One thing I didn't know was that Demise was the Imprisoned. That actually surprised me.

Then there's Impa. I already figured out that the Old Lady was Impa before the reveal. So that was just "I called it." But here's the silly part about that cutscene: I read fanfic saying she died once. But of course I let my guard down. I believed that the author had Impa die from Ghirahim hitting her. And so, literally one text box away from the scene, I sent my sister in law a text like "lol, idk why I thought Impa dies. She's literally been here the whole time."

I had to send a text probably two seconds late saying "nvm, she died."

Whoopsies, silly me XD

Last thing I wanna say! (I think.) The whole lightning in the end battle is SICK! And now all the lighting scars people give Sky make sense. That's probably one of my favorite scar headcanons, honestly. That and Wild's blast scar. Also love giving Twilight a nasty arm scar, but I'm getting off track.

So yeah! Those are my silly disjointed thoughts on both the games I finished recently! Now I only have 2D games left to play. My list became so much smaller! It went from having ten games to just five.

Just have the Oracles games, Link's Awakening, the original and Adventure of Link to play! (I'm debating which one to start with. Probably the Oracles games to I can get Legend's character down better.)

Yay! Wall of text!

[blackgoliath]

just saw beetlejuice 2 lol time to have thots about it

so first off overall it was fun. i enjoyed that they centered a lot of the plot around the guy played by the pedophile actor getting killed horribly. it was very funny and we had a good time.

that said, i think it would have been a lot tighter if they didn't have three separate villains happening. either they should have focused on rory/jeremy as being parallels for each other, the different ways men manipulate and emotionally abuse women, OR they should have done dolores alone. i wish they had done dolores alone and then she won i think she should have won. i was looking very respectfully the whole time

but with three of them they all ended up kind of weak, and i know this is a Silly Goofy Film so i probably shouldn't look so much into it but idk they could have all been a lot scarier if they weren't all vying for attention the entire time. i think rory was the most compelling villain mostly bc we got to see him the most lol, but even then in the end he was very...toothless. like he was soooo sinister and again the parallel with jeremy if rory had also been some kind of murderer, if he'd killed his first fiance rather than made her up and then went on the prowl for another vulnerable woman to manipulate/abuse/murder you know??? esp lydia bc if he'd married and then killed her he could have gotten sooooo much money for it, and while that's not the most original plot idk it would have given his villainy more Weight i think.

and in that vein i think jeremy could have been more layered too/could have had a more poignant death than he did, especially if astrid was involved instead of betelgeuse doing it by himself. like he talked about his parents being neglectful and potentially abusive but to have killed them the way he did was INTENSE like there had to be some INSANE shit going on, either in his house or in his head. plus it was kind of dumb to have his death be that he fell out of the treehouse while it was surrounded by cops lol. i know they wanted something that would be easy to hide but like. he could've shot himself in the head and then just wore a hat all the time. like there are more interesting ways he could have died or killed himself that were easy to hide.

and lastly dolores was like......she felt wasted here. they introduced the soul sucking thing and built her up and then she barely gets to do anything at the end. i wanted to know more!!! where did the soul sucking come from? could she still do it while alive? it's a known thing so are there more? why wasn't she allowed to eat betelgeuse that would have been great. she could turn anything she touched goth WHY WASN'T SHE THE MAIN VILLAIN !!!!! it just felt like other than her killing bob she was just kind of Around being Menacing and didn't really have any real impact on the story lol like if you cut her plotline entirely the movie would essentially be the same

anyway all that aside like i said it was very fun. i love willem dafoe. rory's fucked up therapy speak straight guy incel shit was well done, even if his ending was kinda meh. the richard reunion was sweet tho idk what this movie has against protestors lol there were so many jokes about protestors being stupid weirdos who end up basically killing themselves for no reason

[firemenenthusiast]

tbh that post you made about archie and the braids makes me really wish there a bit more focus on Farleigh being mixed in the movie, specifically white and black and how that affects in like the standing of his family and general life if that makes sense? I just feel like it could've added more complexity and a different perspective on class, social structure, classim, etc, and how race plays a major role into stuff like that. I know that there's that one moment where Farleigh says something and Felix says "Is that was it is? Are you making it a race thing?" (I think lol) and Farleigh is visibly frustrated but I don't know if there's anything else. Like maybe it could give commentary on how nobody else understands him and struggles because of him not being white, or fully atleast. Or how Farleigh easily spotted Oliver as a outsider because he's a outsider as well, being the only black person in a VERY white family, social space, etc. I wish more of his character in general and different aspects like more of his backstory, sexuality, etc and his mind like im soooo obsessed with wondering what goes on in his head. I feel like it he was expanded on more than he would've gotten as much attention that Felix and Oliver do. Idk, as a black girl I feel like it was such a wasted opportunity to see so many things maybe like his connection to his black side or if he even has any connection? Maybe they could've done something concerning his hair like not having anyone to teach him how to take care of it like........ughhhhh. To me it feels like something briefly touched upon and then just forgotten about :/

#Farleighdeservesbetter #Farleighdeservedmorethan5minutesofscreentime 😭😭

HEY IVE MISSED YOUUU :)) and omg this is just so upsetting thinking that even in the film farleigh is just so easily disregarded and not only in that house…that’s what i’ve been trying to say like there’s so much more depth to his character and upbringing for people to generally just label him as shallow. but im glad that people that love him, (us) knows that he’s so much more than that especially given that he is being forcefully separated from his black side. im really glad you said all this from your perspective as a black person cuz i wouldn’t have known, or imagined how it is actually like for him, living like that. and yeah speaking of his sexuality the film did a lot to imply that he’s not hetero and if only it is properly set down that could make an impact to the queer community

i think we can all understand that the cattons (whether racially motivated or not) dislike or even hate his dad…cuz he was the reason farleigh’s mom went out of her designated life trajectory if that makes sense. just thinking about how frustrated he is but couldn’t do anything about it upsets me. i want him to be happy :(. but also i think the very reason farleigh’s character is underexposed is because the profile of the director 😬 (dont come for me) and also i understand that he’s not the main character. his character was just created to bring more elaboration to oliver’s actions. though we know all that i know how we think that it’d be nice to know more (or even everything if possible) about farleigh.

[calekinnieplus]

This looks like a fun idea, so here goes! :

What do you think of this guy🙃?

Oh wow! Good character you chose there ahahaha! Roselle Gustav aka Huang Tao!

First impression

Honestly, I was floating in confusion at the start a bit, considering it was my first Chinese webnovel, so I had a period of readjustment to the writing style (or the translation ig?), so I didn't immediately connect the dots that Roselle was a transmigrator or that he's... kinda "dead" lol

Buuuut, once the dots connected, I did find him quite amusing! Bro's self-confidence gave me second-hand embarrassment, but not That bad. But also, Klein was bashing on him so hard, it was kinda hilarious.

I don't fully remember what impression I had of him, since I was reading pretty slow in the beginning and some ideas were lost, but overall, fun guy lmao

Impression now

Hilarious guy, a meme, a legend.

Yet...

Quite unfortunate that his end was just endless suffering (which will hopefully not be endless haha...). Bro made small mistakes in the beginning when he didn't know Anything, when he was transported to a world he didn't know anything about, forced to adapt and live a new life. I don't know, I find him tragic, just like Klein.

At least he had some good times along the road (especially with a demoness heh). The funny stories were nice to read.

Favorite moment

Basic, but his first talk with Klein. I mean, him meeting a fellow transmigrater and quickly having faith in him was sweet. I really wish to see more of them :>

If we're talking about the diary entries, I'd probably choose when... uhhh the corruption thing. Roselle going to the moon. And when he gazed into the Abyss. I remember how the diary entry abruptly cut off after dumping a lot of info and both Klein and I were Flabbergasted. What did it MEAN-!!

(I have a feeling I'm mixing up the moments, but the feelings remain. The confusion, the anticipation and the wonder from some diary entries were Amazing)

OH, and the last diary entry of course. It was so chill-inducing! It was one of those moments that answered a lot of questions while also bringing even MORE questions. It was just- the atmosphere full of fear and uncertainty, putting into question what that fellow transmigrator went through, wowie~

Idea for a story

Well, let me shuffle in the corner of my brain...

I've always been a fan of Time Travel AUs. So the idea of Klein (at a higher sequence but not Saint Level, maybe? Idk, a lot of possibilities here) travelling to Roselle’s time period and the two of them becoming best buddies (Roselle’s words, not Klein's. Klein's facepalming in the background at Roselle’s shenanigans).

Maybe! It could be a young god Mr Fool using his domain over Space and Time and having a misplaced adventure during Roselle’s time.

(We're pretending the Outer Gods and CW isn't as dauting of a problem as they are in canon, aye?)

Anyway, doesn't matter which version of Klein or during what time he's visiting, it's mandatory that he facepalms at least once :))

Unpopular opinion

Well, I don't know the popular opinions, so I'll guess I'll just go with an opinion.

I mean, he totally could've treated his wife better. I can understand feeling a disconnect with this world and humanity in general, but at least don't bring shame to her name by being a known womanizer, mm? At least divorce or smth, man. You overthrew the government, you could definitely do that.

Unless he actually did divorce her and we just don't know. But otherwise, yeah. Kinda dick move there, Emperor.

Favorite relationship

(Platonic, right?)

Again, basic but. Roselle and Bernadette.

The fact that Bernadette spent so much time searching for a father she was on dubious terms with and how much faith she had that he persevered against all odds.

The fact that Roselle’s one and only tie with this new world was his daughter, his beloved child that he loved with all his might. A child he shared a piece of his old world with. A child he remodeled this entire world's structure for. Absolutely heart-warming.

Favorite headcannon

Hmm let's see...

Huang Tao, as a young individual who surfs the internet, would know a lot of memes or jokes. After becoming Roselle Gustav, those memes aren't easily forgotten.

I mean, is it canon, actually? Maybe he made several Chinese meme references and I missed them lmao. That would be funny

Bonus: imagine Huang Tao and Zhou Mingrui bumped into each other one day, unaware that the next time they'll meet each other, it will be after more than 10 000 years, give or take. ...what's the timeline here?

[zvezdacito]

Random TWST worldbuilding rewrite idea

I think it would've been cool if the Scalding Sands event had utilized more of the Cave of Wonders lore from the original movie as insp.

I'll elaborate on the idea I thought of in the images and text below ⬇️

-Maybe the Scalding Sands got its name from the sands of its deserts being magical and having an aggravated fierceness because of that, In my brain the magic sands kinda have the movement of unpredictable rocky ocean waves

-And that's why its a common semi-magic natural phenomenon in the Scalding Sands that in the danger desert zones outside the City there are just these sinkholes/gaps that can appear out of nowhere

-and it basically leads to the underground cave thing (the Cave of Wonders reference) but it's usually very unstable and collapses before ppl can get out

-So exploring is not advised and that's why researchers haven't found much on its cause and the full extent of what happens inside yet

-Maybe kalim's ancestors who helped found and stabilize the city were the only known people in recorded history who were able to successfully navigate past these 'caves'/get out when they were trapped inside

-Back to where the canon event starts Kalim Jamil and co. go to the city first but then Malleus wanders off to the desert area and they GPS follow him there, but then the sand suddenly sinks in and they get trapped in a Cave of Wonder where they find a bunch of like rare magic gems in there and stuff

-Because Kalim knows his ancestor supposedly survived this situation according to legend, it increases their hopes that they might make it out too

-Although exact record of how he made it out is lost, maybe he left something behind passed down to his family for generations that serves as a clue or guide to how

-The stakes are the gang have to get back to the surface in time for the fireworks launching ceremony, and before the sands shift too much and crush them to death underneath it (reference to Aladdin cave chase where he has to escape it being overrun by lava and stuff)

Ok that's it so far its still kinda unpolished cause this is kinda just the first things I thought of

For this to happen they need to cut on a lot of the details in kalim inviting everyone and them touring the town so rip to those crumbs but overall I think this is kind of a cooler concept for an event😭

-Like idk but I wished the worldbuilding of Twisted Wonderland felt more whimsical and magical for real since it's all based off Disney movies there is so much potential😭😭😭

-Currently they are underutilizing the source material in that regard so bad TWSTLand is literally just simplified earth and that's frankly kinda lame😭 Yuu might as well not have been isekaid to it at this point

-(Also I think they should've saved a city with its main thing being flowers for somewhere in the Queendom of Roses than the NBC city (I know its for those fire lilies plot point but whatever they could've found some other way for Rollo to attempt genocide on mages)

-Like I personally think NBC city should just be like twst Vatican tho idk what religions TWSTland residents have)

That's all I think. Thank you for reading

[notesofarichlycolorednight]

rewatching atla and yknow it really is such a shame that the same writers and creators betrayed the ethos and pathos of their own show with legend of korra

i really wish we had gotten to see more older aang in korra, even as just flashbacks would've been fine. but it just would've been nice to see the older gaang interacting as friends, during a peaceful time, when all of them have only known war previously.

and yeah, i know they published comics but it would've been fun to see it animated. them trying to navigate their feelings when they finally feel safe enough to do so. aang especially coming to terms with the fact that his people were genocided and that he's one of the last air nomads (but possibly not the last, last airbender, but certainly the last of his specific culture. more on that in a moment)

and if they had done it thru flashbacks, they could've paralleled those times of peace (but maybe interpersonal drama) with whatever they wanted to do with korra that required the avatar. (and i say it like that purposefully bc i still don't know if i understand what they were trying to achieve with the over-arching narrative of korra)

it feels like they were so afraid of not being able to raise the stakes, they completely forgot what atla was even about.

the thing i think that gets me the most is the fact that instead of finding a better way to integrate air benders back into the world, like say, since they were, oh idk, nomadic, they just decided to randomly make people air benders all of a sudden through oriental mysticism.

instead of smth like, it turns out that a lot of little sects of air benders exist in the wider world of atla bc the air benders were, famously, nomadic. they're literally called air nomads. the writers remember what nomad means right?

like the sandbenders in atla. yes, they demonstrably bend sand. BUT, as my friend @justletmeremember has pointed out, they use tornados of sand to power their ships in the desert. that requires some amount of air bending!

not only that, but the air benders were the way they were bc of their culture, not the other way around. like sure, air bending probably informed some of their choices and culture. but their culture is what made them who the wider world of atla know them as. so to make random air benders just Exist in lok completely disregards and betrays that culture.

they didn't need to remake the air nomads' exact culture. but their culture, alongside evironment, should have informed the writers who they wanted the next air benders to be. i mean, i think there's a crucial reason the air nomads were nomads, monks and pacifists, and the writers lost that reason in lok.

and that's one of the main cruxes of my problem with lok. the writers/creators made aang the last air bender, literally had his people genocided, and didn't understand or even examine what that meant when writing lok.

[has-gilgamesh-doneanythingwrong]

I imagine some of the servants like Cu, Robin and Mori (idk why I just think Mori can hunt and he does hunt bears often) would bring back their catches to A. To show off and B. To share food with master and ya know the way to master's heart is through her stomach. Got any hcs based on this??

Hello anon, thank you very much for the request. Usually I don't allow requests with four characters, but as this is my final batch (possibly forever), I will make an exception for this!!!!

Also sorry, but I am going to have to change your request a little bit to 'eating together with master' just because I think it would be even more fun to take various possible approaches to this. Like what if one guy does it as part of a date, the other one does it whilst you're farming together, and another just hands you the food to show off his killing prowess?

Note: Fem! master, hunting/ killing wild animals, cooking wild animals, the outdoors.

Lancer Cu, Robin Hood and Mori Nagayoshi Eating Together with Master (Fem! Master)

Lancer Cu

✩ From hunting ferocious animals such as wild boar, to being a seasoned fisherman; Cu takes great pride in his hunting abilities.

✩ Enjoying a lengthy forest hike under an endless canopy of verdant trees, the two of you bask within the natural scenery; as you make headway through vast lengths of grass, passing many interesting and wonderful creatures along the way. The two of you liked to go on outings such as these at times, enjoying spending time with one another.

✩ The conversation eventually takes a natural turn towards the topic of food and hunger- your stomach rumbling as you talk passionately about the foods you enjoy. Your haul of shared snacks was starting to run extremely thin, and you were hungry as hell! Finding that to be pretty cute, he laughs.

✩ Chipping in with a few legendary tales of his own, the two of you engage within some lighthearted banter on what you could possibly eat today (especially within a forest as isolated and remote as the one you were currently traipsing through). For Lancer though, this made for the perfect timing to pull out yet another special 'trick' of his...

✩ "Heh, you really seem to appreciate some good food, huh? How about I treat you to a good catch as thanks for today! Ever tried boar before?" As you shake your head to signal a 'no', Lancer's eyes twinkle with joy. If that was the case, then you'd be in for a real treat tonight.

✩ Whether it's a stroke of bad or good luck is anybody's guess, but the two of you had the misfortune of encountering one of the deadliest Demonic Boars known to man, miasma pooling from its tusks as it angrily barrels towards you. Though you feel scared, to Cu; such a challenge is exactly within his element!

✩ Swiftly scooping you out of harm's way, he delves head-first into his battle frenzy, as him and the boar have a rather heated showdown.

✩ However, one thing is certain. Though he could've likely ended the battle pretty quickly if he tried, thanks to him wishing to show off to you the sheer extent of his skills as a spearman; be prepared for bouts of spear-twirling, elegant leaps and dashing attacks that transform the battle almost into a beautiful dance.

✩ Feeling your eyes watching every moment of this exchange, Lancer's heart sings with joy. He hopes that you're enjoying this just as much as he is (and if it gets you excited, then all the better).

✩ Eventually, he FINALLY kills the boar; his tightly-fitted spandex figure overshadowed by the humongous creature that he hauls over his shoulders; clearly proud of his catch. When you praise him for the exciting show, he beams from ear-to-ear with bliss.

✩ Once you finally find a safe clearing for the day, as the two of you kindle a warm fire; the stars shimmer brightly within the night sky as you roast massive chunks of boar meat together under the fire.

✩ Was the meat delicious? Well...that may be up for debate. But one thing is for certain- it was made with a lot of care.

Robin Hood

🍃 Nature is like a second home to Robin Hood. It's where he made a living, met many great allies and had a good time. So when you asked for his help with farming materials for ascension as well as collecting supplies for the canteen, Robin was pleased that you'd look to him for assistance!

🍃 What starts off as a rather casual bout of farming becomes a guide to foraging, as Robin Hood guides you through what plants have medicinal qualities, as well as the herbs he'd recommend for you to stock the kitchen with.

🍃 Though he initially planned to only fulfil his duties and leave, your curiosity and rampant interest in nature inadvertently brought out his more talkative side. (Though he's not quite chuffed by this at first, he's secretly having a very good time!)

🍃 Time passes as if it's a blur, your stomach signaling that it's finally time to eat. As you blush slightly at the powerful gurgling of your ravenous belly, Robin smirks slightly as he cracks a small joke. "Haha, I almost mistook that rumbling as a sign of an enemy threat! Say, master. I'll get some grub for us. That's one of my duties as a Servant, after all!"

🍃 Well the two are you are in luck, for the abominable chicken foes that have become a staple of many FGO events are populating this area (though it shouldn't be geographically possible). As soon as he sees them far away in the distance- he certainly has a keen sense of sight- Robin shoots you the peace sign as he conceals his physical form.

It's time for the hunt!

🍃 And with that, he's off! Like a master of natural terrain, Robin Hood glides throughout the trees, an invisible shadow swiftly creeping behind unsuspecting chicken foes, and striking them solidly in the vitals with his nifty crossbow . Rather than taking them head-on, Robin tackles his foes from the sidelines. Instead of making a spectacle of his skills, Robin Hood is slightly more low-key focusing more on how he can be of use instead.

🍃 By the time he's back, he has a massive haul of chicken carcasses. As you compliment him for his impressive skills, Robin hood awkwardly scratches his face, blushing slightly from your praise. It certainly did feel good for him to have such value in your eyes, even if it would be somewhat of a struggle for him to admit that aloud.

🍃 But there was one glaring issue... Robin's arrows contained poison. Which meant that poison would be in the chicken carcasses as well, right? As you brought that up to a bemused Robin, his own eyes widened a little at how much you remembered about how his weaponry works. However, he reassures you that things will be okay, he has a few strategies up his sleeve to drain the poison out so that neither of you would be affected- only then for him to also recall your anti-poison stat as well.

🍃 Finding this to be rather funny, his grin widens. It seemed like the two of you had grown to know each other pretty well... a warm feeling seeps through his chest at that. He's so glad that he could meet a master as loyal as you, who had a genuine interest in people like him.

🍃 As you help him with the preparations and feast over some chicken over a fire grill together, the two of you continue talking about everything and nothing all at once, conversation flowing freely through the cerulean skies.

Mori Nagayoshi

☼ Mori Nagayoshi loves the thrill of the kill. Whether it's a strong opponent or a ferocious beast, he finds great pleasure in taking down his foes; relishing in the bloodshed and glory. However, now that he's working in your service, Mori has discovered something else...he also loves it when you praise him for such efforts.

☼ Wondering how he can repay you for your continued support of him as a vassal, he decides to showcase his very best to you, by going on his lonesome to catch a tremendous beast- one like no other...

☼ "Oi, Master! This is good timing, I've finally found ya. Check this out!!!" Beaming from ear to ear like a cheerful angel of death; blood marring his entire body, as his dangerously sharp teeth glint with glee; Mori Nagayoshi knocks upon your door one evening. "I hope you'll be excited, 'cause I've got the greatest offering for you yet! Hehe."

☼ As you greet him, unsurprised by his heavily soiled form; your eyes widen to saucers as you regard the absolutely enormous... bear? Beast? Monster(?) that was sprawled out against the once clinically clean metallic flooring of the Chaldea Halls. Looking back and forth between the floor and Mori's bloodied form, he rocks on his feet with anticipation at how you were going to thank him for his kill.

☼ You compliment him on his strength on destroying such a gigantic creature (which fills him with such an exquisite sense of joy), however you question him as to what is meant to happen next. "Eh...I ain't sure myself...didn't quite think that far. But trust me, bear meat is fucking great!"

☼ And just like that, an "aha!" moment of inspiration strikes between you both. Seeing as you were hungry and hadn't eaten dinner yet, how about making some bear? Mori finds the prospect exciting, glad to share his tips on skinning and cooking the meat. "Thanks, master. I'm looking forward to cooking with you."

☼ Despite the stench and terrifying figure of blood- encrusted form, you are so overcome with happiness that you leap right into a hug, which he returns tenfold; twirling you in the air. The cheer is palpable between you both, as he finally lets you go to clean himself up a bit.

☼ Thus, for the remainder of the night, both of you prepare a bloody feast, the warm bear stew soothing both your insides. Though it's been a chaotic interlude, you were glad to be spending such a great time by Mori's side.

☼ As for Mori himself, an unspeakably mellow feeling reigns within his heart, sentimentality gripping his chest. To not flee in fear at the sight of such an unusual gift, and to accept his unique form of affection so wholeheartedly... Mori was unsure on how to express such gratitude.

[bunnihearted]

‧₊˚ ☽ ⋅

it all keeps going round and round in my head. i think about it constantly and im really trying not to, but i just cant stop ruminating and obsessing about it. i go over it again and again and again in my head. i could've done things different; but that's easy to say now that i have received more context that i didnt have then. plus i was in a certain space concerning my fear of letting ppl close and all of my issues regarding that. i really tried so hard but it takes time.... that's just how i am. and i dont blame anyone for not finding me worth enough to wait it out. at the same time... it doesnt really take years and years, it mostly doesnt even take a full year. im only asking to get to know someone steadily but a little bit slower rather than the full speed that most ppl seem to operate on. i cant believe anyone could ever like me plus im scared of being abandoned and hurt.... which is what everyone has done to my except my mom. everyone else i've known has left me and then im like.. what even is the point in getting to know someone, care about them, only for them to ditch me at a point i wont even see coming or have the power to stop?

anyway. that doesnt matter. i know the only way for me to ever connect to ppl is to shove all of that down and pretend i dont mind the blood dripping out of my mouth from biting myself in the tongue. i have to put on a mask and pretend to be a human being. but also this doesnt matter either, i dont really feel like.,. i dont wanna get to know anyone rn just to have them leave me. everyone leaves. everyone. and they always has someone else that fills my space, while i love true and real and i cant just exchange people. idk. it just hurts so much. why cant i be so special to be kept? im always thrown away.

also that doesnt matter. i couldve done things differently but only now when im at that place in my fear curve. but that doesnt matter and it's too late. but also i said things. i said i love u, i said i wanted to work things out even if you have a lot to deal with rn, i said u're the only one i wanna date, i said you're my favorite and the most important to me. and to that i didnt receive any reciprocation. if i had kept saying more hadnt it only been harrassment? it all makes me so sad and i keep going over it and over it bc yes i couldve done things different, but i said what i wanted to say. i said im in love with you. didnt really get anything that i knew what to do with. only that maybe the time wasnt right bc there was too much going on. said i love u i love u i love u. ????? said you're the only one i wanna date - static. what was i supposed to do with that??? i felt so so so rejected over again and it made me so confused bc i thought that i wasnt the only one with those feelings (based on words actually said not my fantasy/imagination).

isnt.. i love u. i wanna be with u. you're the only one i wanna date... clear? how more clear could i have been... yes i was messy and confusing and pulled away but i tried talking about it all i wanted was to talk about it and see where we were standing and if if if if if ....

and it hurts and is humiliating to love real and love true because im here all alone all alone in this space. and me? i dont even leave a space behind. i dont even leave a void behind. that space is already filled and im fading more and more like i never was at all. why am i such an awful person for being upset that i never leave a mark? im never special or important and like omfg i love u sm i'd also do everything for u i wanna work this out i wanna see if this can go somewhere i love u i dont wanna lose u. i always tell the things i also wish someone (mutually) would say back. i dont really blame. bc i get it. but it makes me sad bc i got to hear things that made me think that my feelings were reciprocated. and then .. theres not even any talking about it. the fact is that i loved so deeply that i wanted to fight for it and do anything and everything i could to make it true. and the fact is that... i was never even asked. how do u really feel? what do u think? i wasnt so special so important to even be talked to. just ... thrown to the side. thats fine. your love doesnt matter anyway. maybe there was care. but not the love that i feel. and that just makes me so sad bc u cannot force love i know that.

the fact is. that i am here all alone, crying and missing someone... loving them so deeply... and they are talking to someone else everyday. not missing and crying and loving me with the force and intensity i do. life is cruel. esp to someone as sensitive and emotional and true and loving as me. we always get fucked over by everything and the entire universe. pain everyday. love is painful. i wish i could surgically remove it from me bc the person i wanna drown in it doesnt want it. thats sad. but thats life. no ones fault even. i dont blame. no anger. but im sad that i never even really got a chance. not a question. not a choice. no opportunity. no chance no chance no chance. just all alone forever

[kaeyachi]

I wonder whether he's wearing extensions, as I've seen someone suggest (wasn't paying attention who, could've been you for all I know) or if his hair grew out since we met him? I mean... probably he'll go back to the other skin in Mond, but that doesn't really mean anything because you can take extensions out or cut hair. Likewise, I wonder whether the (lack of) lovelock is supposed to be symbolic of anything, or if Mihoyo just wanted the braid to look better with no in-universe implications?

Also, I haven't seen anyone mention it, but that white stripe in his braid isn't usually in his lovelock. Again - extensions, or is more of it getting paler? Or was it another section of his hair that was always this way, and it was just cut too short to be visible?

I like to think it's getting lighter.

ooooh boy, it was not me who mentioned extensions, and i actually think this is either a purposeful continuity error where they just decided "no more lovelock" or that he grew his hair that quick in the 3 years we've known him. There's not exactly a lot of ways to style a lovelock, and having a thin braid is kinda boring compared to a thick one.

3 years means approximately 18 inches of hair and tbh? it checks out lmao (i even checked with my meter stick)

That light streak is worrying though, especially considering what Dainsleif said in the 3.5 archon quest about how being unaffected by one's ancestry seems impossible (direct quote: "remains to be unseen")

Damn I kinda wish they were extensions now, that way I'd be less worried for him and his safety

If it is getting lighter, what does it mean then? Its not exactly hilichurl colored like most people are thinking of (hilichurls got that salt and pepper thing going on for them hehe). It's actually more closely colored to abyss mages.

Imagine if Pierro mostly had navy blue hair as well and it all just turned mostly white as the curse continued to run its course, leaving him with just the navy blue streak we see on him today.

Idk where I'm pulling this out of but maybe its a slow acting curse where you stop aging once its all white? You age slower and slower the more white your hair gets basically.

Another idea is like Anna's hair in Frozen, his heart is also slowly being frozen (and as a twist, it's also Kaeya as Elsa who keeps that heart slowly freezing... the self sabotage is an idea i greatly want to study)

Finally, as a crack theory, he's just stressed lmao. Working multiple jobs while thinking about the past and future and upkeeping a public image is a lot after all. If we can't see him stressed then that stress must be going somewhere right? hahaha

Im not sure if they would address it but it would be cool if they do (not keeping my hopes up though)

[captorcorp]

THE DREAM MACHINE GAME SPOILERS (post-game rambling)

if i had a nickel every time i experienced media with an AI trying to give birth to itself in a human baby form through the protagonist's wife - i'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.

on a whole i'm really >:3 about this game though!!! i should've known from the title (which is why i got it ofc) but just wasn't sure if it'd live up to my expectations for either the dream aspects or the machine aspects, i think it did for both though

the dreams could've been more dream-like in logic at some times (though i feel like they usually did feel p dreamlike), though with how difficult the puzzles were already maybe it's a good thing they weren't lol i did like the environments though like the wife dreaming of being the captain of a ship where all of the workers are clones of her husband, the stressed nurse dreaming about a cool fantasy land where she's the village medic, the wfh guy dreaming having some weird cube-like dream land that nobody expected but most of it being manipulated by the machine controlling him...

decent amount of dream psychology mentioned, specifically jung's collective unconsciousness (is that a zero escape reference??? /j) and some freud mention iirc? the disk-shaped shared realm of dreams that people start from the center of and move towards the edge as they age while being able to traverse the plane between people's dreams as well is an interesting concept - feel like i haven't seen that many games come up with their own dream lore like that. at that part in the center with the prenatal barrier and baby dreams being raw potential energy and such, i hadn't heard as much about that irl so looked it up in case it was some obscure theory i hadn't heard of before but didn't find anything unfortunately ^^;

also love the ending in like chapter 5 where you can just. choose to start working with the machine instead after almost killing it, i didn't expect them to give us that option. sorry to my pregnant wife but you're saying i can inherit this dead guy's whole repertoire of dream research passed down for generations and explore the dreamscape as i wish with this cool sentient eldritch machine? fuck yeah let's start hiding the bodies /hj (jk I would go help my wife if i were victor. but i'm not i'm the player and i want to learn about dreams.)

also re: the machine itself i thought it was a neat character ^^ was a bit ??? at what it's goals were at first, bc obviously the mortons were using it to map the unconscious but then it wasn't clear if the machine also wanted to do that or had its own agenda, but self preservation of its sentience and trying to maintain its existence by leaching from the dreams of others was a good motive. and then also 🥺me when the ai is lonely and misses its friends (and accidentally kills them when they stop giving it unsuspecting residents to feed off of but dw about that)

very 👀at that bit in the 3rd floor neighbors' dreams where we found out it was trying to build itself a body in the dream world out of dream npc's organs so it could move around the dream world as it wished without the clunky tentacles that kinda just stay in one place and die. another one of those things that's like 'bro it's a dream you don't have to be that thorough about it to make it work' but i get it with the weird shared dreamscape lore this game has set up and it was a very 'bro wtf' reveal. gotta respect trying the frankenstein method

actually that makes me think. are dream npcs sentient in this universe??? i was just thinking about it like 'at least it was just stealing organs from npcs and not people' but idk how this fits with the collective unconscious lore.

also i do have to address the ending of the game besides just that 2 nickels joke (the other media was demon seed btw. was a pretty disturbing watch ^^;;). that one bit felt like the stanley parable hole ending and the other bit felt like the 2001 a space odyssey ending. the playing god part was very ??? i didn't know what to think of it at first (still not sure) and this is the only screenshot i took from that portion.

that whole final colorful shifting area with the victors of different ages reminded me of the denver meow wolf exhibit (i haven't been yet but from the pics i've seen of it on the site). then i saw the area with our mother giving birth to us and i was like. Ah. Unfortunately this game has given us a lot of experiences with climbing inside of small holes, even when they're inside other people...

was also surprised that we just took up the machine's offer to share our consciousness and stay stuck in the dream world. feel like it'd be more effective to give us some options there and have multiple endings, but i guess if it was us (machine loses too much power to survive outside of the dream) or our child (would grow up possessed by the machine irl) makes sense as a trade, our poor wife though... i do like dreams but being stuck in the dream world forever like that would be OTL i am glad the machine got to survive though

anyway my final review is. puzzles were pretty hard so thank you steam and yt walkthroughs. ending was weird, it was too metaphysical for me to fully wrap my head around but i do like the artistic vision. game on a whole is good especially when you're autistic about dreams and ai characters, played it for like 10 hours straight. dream machine is my favorite character (no surprise). why did the game make us unbirth ourselves.

misc screenshot dump:

normal teatime conversation topics

cool machine diagram

NOOO i forgot to get a picture of those fuckass pumpkins that make you lead a government. love those guys

[mojavepumpkin]

"so we beat on, like boats against the current. borne back ceaselessly into the past." (cliche, i know but i can't get over that line)

sunday, march 3rd

haven't written in a while, haven't had my computer in a while. left it home when we went to fernandina. it was a good weekend. i was on my phone more than i'd like to have been, the weather was worse than i'd have liked it to have been. still managed to walk 12ish miles, all in all. the weather wasnt so bad when it wasnt raining. cooler than normal, especially sunday. saturday was nicer, walked 9 miles. had a conversation with a man in a silly hat selling free advice. he was nice but i dont feel all that helped, i still appreciate the conversation.

i am disturbed by my lack of preparedness for this literary thing. i have no idea what's going on, what im really doing, who even is running it. oh well, it can only help me i spose. or i could embarrass myself, but i guess i shouldnt get too hung up on that.

i might be getting a new car, or should i say, old truck. which is exciting. this summer. my car is the most expensive out of all of our cars, it was originally mom's and she gave it to me. the insurance is super high, so once we pay it off (in june), we can sell it and get something thats cheaper for me. it just so happens that i have a cheap taste in cars- or trucks. anyway, i hope we'll be able to find a 1998-2011 ford ranger. a tiny little truck for lil ole me.

anyway. im considering deleting youtube. it's tough. it's definitely my most used social media, and i can say 100% that it has made me better and more informed. if you can call it social media. but its also a big "crutch". eating food? watch youtube. getting ready in the morning? watch youtube. cleaning my room? watch youtube (this one is more understandable.)

given it more thought. i will delete it as an experiment. i think i need to learn how to practice mindfulness instead of consuming content every waking moment of my life. i need a book on it, maybe. definitely.

my mind feels very busy at the moment. let me think. the tv is very loud. i feel very hot. my room is dirty. okay. breathe.

what will happen tomorrow? anything of note? not that i can think of, i might make plans. that could be nice. i like keeping myself busy. i wish i could've figured out plans with J today, but nothing materialized - i just went outside by myself. i haven't read very much. but i haven't been on my phone very much. so i guess i've been doing things. i dont have any homework due. i dont have work tomorrow. i should be happy. i need to return a book to the library, and i cant think of anything else i need to do.

tomorrow might be a good day to walk. i'll speak to some folks. i'm trying to incorporate some more southernness into my speaking voice. idk, i'd like to feel like my voice is some kind of connection to the place from which i originate. i tried so hard to get rid of it, now i dont have it all and want it back. thats life.

despite not having known him for very long or very intimately i see a lot of my grandfather in myself. he has become sort of a kindred spirit i spose, for myself. maybe i do believe in the afterlife, i can still kind of feel him. maybe thats the afterlife we get, the feeling we leave with people. even though he isnt my biological grandfather, he was the only grandfather i knew on that side of my family that i ever knew. and now is certainly the only positive father like figure there. maybe all of those parts of him that are in me now are like little shrines i've built so that he can live on. our love of johnny cash, western movies, ford rangers, and straight-edge shaving. maybe i should start fishing more seriously, honestly i've thought about it often. i'd like to go fishing with a buddy. i just need a pole and some know-how, or my friend being the know-how could work too. i love him very much now, even though he is somewhat of a stranger to me. he loved my grandma, i can see that. i read one of their letters and was moved to tears. life is something incredible.