#and im sorry if you are one of those toddlers

[julia4today]

almuerzo fluff

(husband!miguel x pregnant!reader)

——-

what’s happens when people find out about you? about your kids. idk but i had this idea so just bare (bear?) with me. writing on iphone and computer-- there's some spanish in there. i don' t practice all that often since i left home so excuse any off translation

tw: swearing, angst if you squint, no proofreading

——-

guards, hq doesn’t need ‘em. mainly because they have thousands of spidermen swinging around, ready to save. unfortunately those spidermen aren’t always the most aware when it comes to being in hq. considering you somehow managed to slip past them.

you, with a toddler on your hip and a basket of food in your hand combined with your intensely slow walking. you would expect to atleast have some hassle getting through the doors.

you were so close too, just one more hallway until you could have lunch in peace with your husband. unfortunately some spiders get nosy. some spiders try to detain you, take your kid from you, call over other spiders, and rummage through your food.

of course this doesn’t go without protest.

“ma’am who are you? and where did you get this kid? to what do you have business here?”

“give me back my kid.” you respond struggling against the grasp of a…dinosaur? no im just kidding, yet another peter parker.

“we have no way of knowing that she is yours.”

crying and kicking coming from your daughter, gabriella. “get away! get away! i want mommy!” she screams, trying her best to now push past the crowds to get to you. a spider picks her up, beginning to take her away.

“get your hands off my kid!” you say, as tears prick your eyes. finally struggling free and, slowly, running to grab gabriella. picking her up and holding her in your arms. “it’s okay honey, mommy’s here.”

wiping her tears you turn to face the group, looking around you notice your once perfectly made up lunch with all the food for a family of 5 (your husbands a big eater…) was now strewn across the floor.

“what the fuck is wrong with you?” you shout, covering your daughters ears, slowly rocking her. you hear a spider call the boss, your husband. how unfortunate for the group.

“we don’t know who you are, if you’re dangerous, what you’re doing here!”

“i’m pregnant, with my daughter, carrying a basket of food to my husband! how is that dangerous?!”

“well we-“ cut off my the stomping you know so well and the yelling you could never forget.

you could hear him, saying that “if it was something stupid he’d fire all of them.” that “if the woman was dangerous why didn’t they call him sooner?"

as he approaches you see his eyes widen and his body relax. he lets out a sigh. he easily makes his way through the masses, a path paved for him, through the sea of people.

the crowd watches in awe as he picks up the little girl. "hola mi princesa. ¿como estas?" he says softly as he wipes any excess tears from gabriella's eyes.

"papa they were s-so mean to mommy."

"i know baby, i'm sorry you had to go through that," he replies, glaring over at the, now, cowering and slightly shocked, group of spiders. he turns to you, placing a kiss on your cheek. "¿qué pasó, mi amor? pensé que venías a almorzar."

"yeah, well that's not what they thought. nuestra comida está arruinada," you hang your head in annoyance.

"i know, but luckily we have a food court, although nothing is better than your food," he lifts your face, sighing and turning around.

"what the hell is your problem? putos cabrones, THAT'S MY WIFE. idiots," he yells, still holding gabriella. who has now fallen asleep in her dads arms.

"s-sir we didn't know." a brave spider spoke up.

he rolls his eyes, resting his free hand on his hip. "and you think a pregnant lady, with her daughter, and a basket of food is really a threat? why did i hire such morons?!" he exclaims.

he turns towards you, putting on a sweet expression with a soft smile. "c'mon mami, let's go get some food." turning around once more he yells one last times.

"you all, pick up this mess and meet me in my office in two hours." everyone could pick up the sinister tone in his voice, it wasn't hard to miss.

"mi héroe," you say, and you all walk towards the food court. although when you have a group of teen spiders wandering around the building who are a little too obsessed with heir bosses personal lives, you don't get much privacy.

--------

alright what do we think? also yes mahagony pt 2 is coming but honestly i haven' t had any motivation to start pt 2 yet. so sorry to those waiting. i woke up at 5 am and suddenly had the urge to make this so heres hoping we all like it

[midnightfrappe]

I found an actual video of the little freaks singing and dancing

Some toddlers are really having a blast on the corner with these ones

[izzy-b-hands]

I am realising how many spots I missed trying to shave the back and sides of my head last night (down to skin this time bc it grows back so fast and it gets so hot in the summer bc my hair is thick)

This isn’t necessarily an excuse to start saving towards the Boomtown Rats mirror in their shop, but also, I could totally ask Housemate to put a lil hook on the opposite bathroom wall to the main mirror, and we could like. put that there for haircuts and find some cool art to habitat the hook the rest of the time and then the mirror could otherwise reside in my room unless needed for the aforementioned haircuts (bc I don’t yet have a mirror in there and I didn’t think I really needed/wanted one?? until I realised I was trying to style my hair in the flip view/selfie view of my phone camera a few days ago and was like. Oh.)

But also. Isn’t it?

[babygirl-riley]

Daddy’s Gonna Buy You a Mockingbird

When coming home Simon hears his daughter start to fuss.

Warnings: angst, mentions of childhood trauma, fluff, swearing, Dad!Simon

simon x reader guide

simon x reader family edition

Simon was fucking tired, the mission was long and difficult. It took them 4 months to plan the fucker just for the target to know their every move. He lost lots of men and women those nights, they had to camp somewhere in the middle of the desert cause transportation got fucked.

He unlocked the door of his home and walked in. Immediately he heard the whimpering. Simon heard you trying to lullaby both of your toddler. Simon was told that she has been sick for almost 4 days. It was teething that led to two ear infections. His poor angel was getting her ass jumped left and right with them infections.

He took his mask and boots off leaving them on the shelf near the door. He locked the door as he made his way through the hallway. When getting closer he heard you sniffling. “I don’t know what to do baby girl,” The toddler cried harder as you cried with her. “I am sorry. What do you need baby?”

Simon tapped the door making you jump. At first you thought you were going to fight but then relief came through. “Simon,” You started to sob. “Just take a shower and I will be there in minute.”

“I can take her.” He said walking fully in.

“No,” You wiped your tears quickly before shaking your head. “It’s fine you just got home. Please just take a shower love.”

Simon nodded, he didn’t want to but he could tell if he didn’t you would burst. He saw the dark circles under your eyes, how red your eyes were. You haven’t gotten any sleep. That tugged at his best strings, you have been dealing with this all by yourself so he wants to be able to help you.

Simon quickly got into the shower, washing all the paint, blood, sweat, and dirt from him. He waited for a moment before turning the faucet off and get out. He heard your sobs once more as he wrapped the towel around himself. Opening the door that showed you laying on your side curled up. Simon walked up to you and sat next to your body. He placed a hand on your hip rubbing circles.

“Not the best welcome home,” You sighed turning to face him. “Im sorry.”

“For what love? Taking care of our child? Don’t ever apologize for that.” He reassured, basically whispering.

“Just me crying and Im so fucking tried. She doesn’t sleep nothing longer than maybe 5 minutes before she is screaming. And I wanted to give you a warmer welcome and instead buzzed you off and…”

“Thats enough sweethear’ it has been a long week for you,” He got up to grab sweatpants and went around to his side to pull the blankets up and over him. You watched as he laid and scooted closer to you wrapping his arm around you. “Come ‘ere, get some sleep my dove.”

He doesn’t remember when you fell asleep or even him. Simon heard the soft whimpers start, you didn’t move and he was glad that you didn’t. He was also very happy that you moved out of his grasp while in your sleep. Simon carefully and quietly headed out of the room. Rubbing his tired eyes as he made it to his daughter’s room.

When he approached the room there she was. Standing up in her crib crying, once her eyes landed on his she cried harder. “Daddy.” She called a couple of times.

“Alright princess, you’re alright daddy’s here.” He said picking her up.

It took him a back of how hot she is, sweat gripping her pjs. Her crying increasing as she gripped onto his shoulder. “Shhh I know,” He said bouncing up and down. “I know baby.”

He felt her diaper and walked to the changing table, which to her was a sin. When he placed her down she screamed a bit, immediately he gently placed a palm on her chest. Putting small pressure. She stopped screaming as she still cried. His daughter loved when he did that when she wanted to be cuddled yet when he had to do certain things like this.

Because of how many times he has done this with her, he one handed did the diaper. He left her only in her diaper, get some air to her skin due to sweating and her being hot. As she still cried, he picked her up and lead out of the room walking to the kitchen. “Let’s try a warm bottle and me a tea yeah?” He said quietly, holding her close as she still cried.

While working on the bottle he rocked back and forth waiting for the teapot to heat up. He wrapped both of his arms around her holding her more close. “I’m ‘orry my birdie, teeth are arseholes. I know.”

She held around his neck placing her head down on his shoulder. Simon kept holding on until the smallest noise came from the pot. He didn’t want to wake you, he was even surprised you haven’t woke up yet. His daughter became more whimpering than crying.

He poured his mug first so the water could cool down just a bit more. Then poured water into her bottle. He made his tea before finish making her bottle. Afterward he walked to the living room and placed the tv on. Miss Rachel was her favorite to watch lately, that’s what you mentioned.

He placed her forward towards the tv as he placed his mug on the side table. Simon held her close to him as she drank her bottle. Rubbing her belly as he watched the show with her. He hated this woman, just found her annoying, you mentioned to him that it was her job to do that fake high pitch thing. To him it just made him want to mute it and never see it again.

His daughter leaned closer to him as he sipped his tea. She sniffled and hiccuped due to crying the whole time. He smoothed her thick blonde hair back, making her eyes roll. Another thing she gets from him. People massaging his scalp or play with his hair he would pass out from.

After three videos both Simon and her were laying on the couch. He had her on his chest with a blanket on both of them. “Shh I know,” He said as she started to whimper again. “Daddy is here, don’t worry. He will stay. I would do anythin’ for you not to be in this pain.”

She sucked on her binki her eyes rolling fighting sleep. Yet another thing she got from him. Fighting sleep. Simon remembered when you told him you were pregnant with her. He was terrified. Scared that he wouldn’t be good to her, that he would turn into his own father.

Simon actually left for hours from the house making you think that it was a bad idea to tell him. Until he came back in tears, first time you seen him break down. Telling you his fears and worries. You would comfort him and hold him that he has never been an ounce of his father. Never be like him.

Simon remembered when he asked for his dad to hold him. His dad told him to stop being a child, to grow up. Or even watch him cry in pain and laugh at the fact he was crying. He even remember Tommy being hit for even mentioning that his throat hurt. Telling him that is something to be crying about when he was hurt.

Because of those memories he was going on for months in his mind that he didn’t believed that, didn’t believe that he would be a good father, it wasn’t until she was born. When he held her in his big hands. He knew that this was the opportunity to not be his low life father. And yet here he was being not that, his father would have never been comforting him when he was sick. Holding him. Loving him. He was grateful to be able to be here for her. For you. To show the love and care that he wanted to.

Simon sighed as he felt her breathing slow down, falling into deep sleep. He settled more down into the couch as he closed his eyes, holding on to his princess.

You woke up with the sun beaming into the room. You groaned as you placed a hand to where Simon would have been. It was cold. You opened your eyes and frowned. Was a dream that he was home? You sighed getting up and heading to your daughter’s room. For it to be empty too.

You walked around the house figuring out where the hell was your daughter. Which when you heard Miss Rachel on the tv and two figures on the couch. It made your heart swell. You walked to around to face both your daughter clinging onto her father. Simon softly snoring and his daughter as well. You forget how similar they look.

The soft features of when they slept. Their hair. Their nose. You also noticed that she was just in her diaper and didn’t look sweaty. You inhaled deeply feeling a bit of relief. Hopefully that means that her temperature went down and back to normal.

You smiled thinking about the time where you were almost about to pop. Simon holding your tummy telling your daughter that he will protect her with every ounce of his being. Not matter where or what she is doing, he will be there. You would play with his hair as he rubbed your tummy, feeling her move every time he would place a hand on your tummy.

You grabbed both bottle and mug, walking back to the kitchen. “Definitely going to be a daddy’s girl.” You whispered, starting to make breakfast for your perfect family.

[tarjapearce]

Hi hi! Thank you for letting me go ahead and send it through! I didn’t want to overwhelm you, that’s absolutely fine still take your time and keep taking those breaks mamas!

I’ve seen a lot of single dilf Miguel x reader but I don’t think I’ve ever read where reader was a single parent. So I was thinking reader is new to spider society and on the day she’s told to join she has to bring her baby because she didn’t have a babysitter. Well Miguel sees her and it’s like he’s instantly drawn to her like sunflowers are to the sun, sunflowers move where the sun goes and when the sun doesn’t shine they face each other (She’s kinda like his day and night if that makes sense) but instead of acting on it he dismisses her but kinda admires her and her baby from a distance.

Well one day she’s having a small part for the main group and she invited Miguel because she always felt the feelings but also dismissed them. Then after the party he stays to help and the end up getting closer and yeah. It can be nsfw I don’t mind, I also hope this makes sense it’s been in my mind for a while and you’d be so good for this!

The rest is all up to you if you decide to write it pretty girl. Just remember to take your time and all the breaks you need. Mental, physical, and emotional health is important don’t overwork yourself 💕

Im so sorry this taken me soo long. Hope this make it justice 😊❤️. Thanks for requesting dear.

If it wasn't for the webs that stopped Rhino as he was about to deliver the last blow to you, you'd be certainly gravely injured or worse.

Another Spiderwoman, clad in a red, yellow and black suit had helped you through. Both of your minds in sync, that soon earned you the win over a now unconscious Rhino.

She introduced herself as Jessica Drew. Another Spiderwoman from another universe. At first her explanation of what the Arachnohumanoid-Polymultiverse was, had your head spinning and confused, but after quite a while of visiting you on duty, and clearing up as much questions you needed, you had been officially 'invited' to join, by Miguel’s orders.

You've never met the man, but the way people talked about him, made you not only curious but excited to meet him. Everyone described him as a good yet scary boss.

----

"Let's go"

"Hope you don't mind?" Your nervous smile reached Jess as you packed in your child's stuff in the baby sling. A couple of diapers, extra clothes and bottles.

"Look at this beautiful boy" Jessica held him as you finished packing up stuff, "Didn't know you had one"

"Oh, well. You never asked. Plus we always met on duty. The babysitter I get for him called in sick and I have none as a back up. Hope Miguel doesn't mind."

"What about his dad?"

Your head shook softly and sighed.

"He decided to not be part of our lives."

Jessica just nodded, lips pursing.

"His loss, really. Anyways, ready to go?"

------

Not even in your wildest dreams you'd imagine something as The Babylon Tower or HQ as most Spiders called it, could exist. Different sort of Spiders paraded around and greeted Jess upon her arrival.

Some even greeted your toddler that cooed and giggled upon the many heroes that came his way.

"Let's get you to Miguel." Jess walked ahead and you followed, you baby's eyes wandered, marveling at the different colors and people. You'd sometimes make hamocs and web playgrounds for him to be more active. Your babysitter was the only person you could actually trust your identity, she had even helped you sometimes by calling the cops, or even fixing your suit.

Another man in a pink bathrobe approached and gasped at your baby

"Please tell me we're getting a Spider Parents exclusive division now."

You chuckled and Jess just rolled her eyes

"Sweetie, this is Peter."

"As in Peter Parker?"

"Nah. As in Peter Benjamin 'B' Parker."

"Oh... And whose that cutie over there?" Your eyes trailed to Mayday as she beamed at you.

"Mayday. A lil spider in growth"

"She has spider powers?! Oh my goodness!"

"It's chaos, I know. What about yours?"

"Normal baby so far. Should I be concerned?"

"Not really, it comes in the least unexpected moment and them BAM! Spider baby. "

You giggled as you made your way through the halls to a much more secluded and dark area.

"Miguel?"

Your baby couldn't help but babble as a hulking figure approached from the furthest corner.

"He's so dramatic" Peter whispered and again, you giggled under your mouth.

Jess introduced you both and explained your progress to him. Apparently they had been observing you for quite the time.

" I apologize for bringing my child. My babysitter called in sick."

"No problem."

Even though his voice was calm, the coldness in it made you recoil to yourself. His scrutinizing gaze fixed on you and your baby. By instinct you held him close.

Red eyes settled on yours, but the subtle stare contest was interrupted by the anomaly alarm.

-----

As your time in the Spider Society advanced, your interactions with Miguel improved significantly, and by that it'd mean longer conversations, a joke here and there and of course moments so subtle between you both that you had to be quite analytical to know that he gave glances your way or lean to you slightly whenever speaking to him.

Not that you were inmune to his looks, but his patience stood proudly among his other virtues. And to your surprise he seemed to handle Mayday well enough. What actually made you to be drawn to him is that in one of your many occasions that you couldn't leave your baby boy alone, and brought him into HQ with you, he'd be instantly looking for Miguel.

Your cheeks would flush impossibly red as your baby clung to his leg and erupted in a bubbly laughter.

"God, I'm so so sorry, he just... seem to like the blue alot."

An airy chuckle was everything that escaped his lips. Of course there was so many questions he'd want to do out of curiosity. He had noticed you didn't wear a ring, neither talked about the baby's father. It was something he never seemed to coax out of you. No matter how subtle he was about it.

Pa pa

You both froze as your baby mumbled and grabbed a few strands of his hair.

"I'm so sorry..." You pried the baby away from him and fled the place as soon as you could. He just watched you leave, the inner turmoil in his heart was surely playing dirty. The way the baby had clung to him, and climbed ontop of his chest made his heart to leap after a long long while.

-----

You had been avoiding him, for sure. Ever since your little incident with the baby mumbling his first words, you had taken your distance with him. Of course you weren't ready for your baby's actions, but the fear of going through all that again, had surely dismissed all possible blooming feelings you had for your boss. Besides he seemed way too busy and aloof to try and pursue anything with anyone.

Not that you blamed him, the multiverse depended basically on him. It was for the best.

----

The moment you were falling asleep, your Spider senses tingled so hard you had a little headache coming your way.

Dread settled on your brain as your baby boy screamed and wailed.

No No No!

You were already darting towards his room, and pulled him with one of your webs towards you, holding onto him for dear life as the creature shredded his crib to bits with its elongated talons.

Your eyes went wide at the sudden action, your baby kept wailing in fear, earning the humanoid like creature to snap it's attention to you. You were fast, but the creature was faster and sliced through your flesh in one of your sides. You fell on your back protecting your son from the impact with a groan.

You needed to get out, or at least put your baby out of danger.

Survival mode kicked in as you dodged and took as much damage as you could from the creature that seemed way too keen into hurting your child.

You fought but exhaustion was taking over, the blows of the creature only seemed harder and powerful, but no matter what your priority was to keep your child safe, even if it costed your life.

The creature pounced on you, but the final blow never came. There was a commotion as you tried to get up, all you could hear was inhuman shrieks, growlings and finally the engine of a too familiar motorcycle revving up.

Your baby was pried away from your hands and you whimpered

"N-No!" even in your injured state, your mother instinct kicked in.

Your name was called, several times until you were held against a sturdy yet warm body with such care and tenderness that stilled your thrashing body. Vision blurred, but the last thing you saw the led lights of a blue and red suit, red eyes staring at you with concern.

-----

You woke up in HQ's medical bay. Pain surging through your body as you tried to sit down, Miguel's hand stopped you. Face with his ever permanent frown and something else. Worry.

"Where's... Where's my baby?"

"He's fine. Out of danger." His hands reached for a new set of bandages, he took your arm gently and began replacing the bandages himself, some were stained in a fresh layer of blood.

The silence fell upon you both until he decided to break it.

"You... were brave. We still don't know what that creature was, yet you didn't hesitate to fight back."

"It was going for my son... If I would've got there a second too late..." Voice broke and eyes filled up with tears.

The knot only tightened around his throat upon remembering the anomaly alarm in your world and saw you fighting for your son's life. He didn't think twice before jumping into action.

"The anomaly was terminated."

Terminated, not contained.

"I see"

"Your safety is all that matters to... this organization"

To me

You nodded

"Thanks."

----

He had learned that you were a single parent thanks to Jessica. Something he had trouble understanding sometimes. How could a man abandon his own family? He'd give everything to have one more chance and at least make things right, he wouldn't interfere with Gabriella, no matter how much he'd like to, just to keep her safe and alive.

But seeing you fighting for your son, made that side of him he thought buried forever to claw back full force on him. You were a great mother that wouldn't hesitate to attack and lash out at everything that menaced your son. It was the last straw for him.

----

A couple of months had gone by since your incident, and as a retribution you had decided to do a small gathering. Not only to say thanks to them, but to also celebrate your son's birthday.

Wounds were properly healed thanks to Miguel's attention and cares. Music echoed through your apartment. You weren't sure he'd show up, but the invitation was delivered to him.

Your son was having the time of his life as Peter and Jess played with him. Mayday was such a great play date and everyone seemed to have a great time. A portal was open to your kitchen and Miguel stepped out. Suit underneath civilian clothes. It was weird to see him out of the blue and red suit you were always used to see.

"Hey" You smiled and he placed a little present in your hands.

"Hope he likes it."

"I'm sure he will, thanks."

Your smile turned bashful as he leaned on the kitchen counter. Your place seemed normal, cozy even. Full with your son and you pictures. One was cut out and the only trace of a man existing in your life was the forgotten hand you were oblivious in cutting out. And even so, he seemed unsure since his fingers were barely touching you or your son.

"Here." You offered a plate full of food, which he took and scarfed down.

"When was the last time you actually ate?"

His eyes locked on yours, wide by the sudden question.

"There is more if you want to."

"I don't want to overstep-"

"The rest already had their portion. And I frankly went a bit overboard with it. So it's fine."

Your baby's laughter roared from the other side, earning you a chuckle.

"I'm... sorry though"

"For?"

"Him, calling you that. I know what happened and I'm sure it's not nice to just-"

"Couldn't blame a baby. Is it... ok for me to ask what happened to the father?"

"He just decided that we weren't enough for him. So he went for a new one. Away from us."

His eyebrows knit deeper and a light scowl drew in his face.

"But, it's fine. It's less of a burden knowing that you don't have to raise another man child."

He chuckled and nodded

"You're a great mother." You served him another plate but stopped when the corner of his mouth was doused in sauce. Giggling you reached for napkin and got in your tip toes.

"Excuse me" You wiped his mouth and smiled, "Sorry, can't help it"

His hand went to the back of your nape and leaned down for a kiss.

"Lo siento..." (Im sorry)

It was something that felt out of his character, he knew much, but it couldn't be helped. You had come like a little storm that turned into a hurricane in his heart. And that harrowing night where he saw you fighting with everything you had, only grounded him into allowing himself to feel and experience for once.

You got in your tip toes again and pulled him down for a kiss. There was no words needed, just a look of mutual understanding and complicity between the both. A kiss in the palm of your hand sealed up the implicit deal.

You were his now.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

Pt VII good omens S1E3 but i'm in a fever-induced haze and i watched it four days ago

Hello maggots it turns out I may have a viral fever... or perchance I'm just going viral in the GO fandom and Crowley being so hot has given me a fever (this is what I learned from years of studying thermodynamics). BAHAHAHAHAHAH anyway this is a LOOOONG post.

EDIT: There are time inconsistencies, as some of you informed me. Paint before wall slam etc. But this show does not follow linear time, just like me. Time is cosmic Play-Doh, and @neil-gaiman, Einstein and I are toddlers playing with it all bendy-bendy. We may have eaten some. I blame Neil. So I will correct nothing.

(im sorry to all my followers, the maggots, and everyone reading this post, i'm afraid this level of quality will be sustained for the rest of the post)

Whatever it may be... haveth my summary of Good Omens Ep3, or whatever I remember of it, anyway.

The second the episode started streaming everyone was yelling about the cold open in the chat.

I could be conflating this with Ep 1 but I think it begins with Aziraphale's gaslight gatekeep girlboss moment where he straight up LIES TO GOD about giving the dumb humans a flaming sword right after they fell from grace.

Hot take from someone who has negligible biblical knowledge, look at it, guys. What harm has an apple ever done to mankind (except to doctors)? Nothing. *nods vigorously* And then our lovely angel goes and gIVES THEM A GODDAMN FLAMING SWORD. Nice, fire and weaponry, this is going to go well for the world!

Anyway lesson is Aziraphale is a chaotic lil bastard and it's why we and Crowley love him.

Fast forward to uh, Noah's Ark... There is a unicorn and it runs away, which Crowley/Crawly seems concerned about. Azi is just chilling there watching all of humanity be drowned and Crowley, looking gorgeous may I add, walks up and she's like CHILDREN? WHY ARE YOU KILLING CHILDREN?

Did I mention that she looks gorgeous with those flowing locks because she does. It gives kind of Disney Brave vibes, doesn't it? Wait is David Tennant Scottish I WANT A DAVID TENNANT/CROWLEY MERIDA COSPLAY.

Anyway so Aziraphale and Crowley watch everyone drown etc

I may have missed a few centuries but then we have ol' Bill Shakespeare and Hamlet (David!!) and Aziraphale like the bean he is wants to cheer them on, and does it badly.

Crowley is standing there thinking man this angel is a fucking doofus why do I love him, and then they make a deal that allows them to do NO work whatsoever since their work cancels out anyway.

Aziraphale pouts at Crowley and Crowley melts inside and makes Hamlet a success though he doesn't even like Shakespeare's tragedies but Azi does and that's all that matters.

OH YEAH FRENCH REVOLUTION. Just to fuck with Aziraphale and because the painkillers are getting to me, I'm gonna do this one in my shit French (et non, je ne peux pas utiliser les accents, j'utilise l'ordinateur et je ne veux pas ouvrir Google). Alors, la revolution est la, Aziraphale veut manger (quelle surprise) et ses vetements sont tres chers, les sans-culottes le tueront, mais Crowley vient et Aziraphale dis "Crowley! Mon hero"

Okay I ran out of French but yes so he was gonna be hanged but Crowley came and Aziraphale's face literally melted and then he switched clothes with the guard and left him to die while he and Crowley went to dine happily (Aziraphale dined, Crowley was hungry for Azi because he has a watching-angel-eat kink).

Aziraphale being a casual accessory to murder/murderer is the most underrated part of good omens.

Fast forward and it's the holocaust and Aziraphale is tricked by some Nazis and they're about to kill him. But Crowley walks down the aisle to their groom, well, more like skips while yelping, and burns the place down for Aziraphale. Naturally Azi's like OH NO MY BOOKS and is ready to cry, then Crowley gently hands him the suitcase full of books unharmed and says just a little miracle for you, baby, want a ride home? And Aziraphale is left holding the books (which by the by Crowley does not care about, they do NOT read books, again, just for Azi) and looking like the happiest man alive and like he would die for Crowley.

Fast forward and we have Crowley in the sixties SERVING with her bob cut, anyone who doesn't like it can fight me to the DEATH, I LOVE HER, and anyway Crowley manipulates, manslaughters and manwhores her way into getting into the car with Aziraphale. He hands her a bottle of holy water because fuck heaven he would do anything for Crowley, and Crowley offers to drive him anywhere (mmmhm Crowley sure you're just being a gentledemon) and Aziraphale tells her that she goes too fast for him. IF THIS ISN'T CALLBACKED IN S3 WITH CROWLEY SAYING "YOU RIDE TOO FAST FOR ME, ANGEL" on a motorbike or horse or his peepee ANYTHING IDC im gonna throw hands.

I'm choosing to forget all the breakups so end cold open back in present day

They're in a paintball arena and Crowley presses Aziraphale into the wall while growling I'm not nice (ok Crowley bro maybe it's time to take a break from 2010s wattpad) and Aziraphale is just gazing adoringly at him. Ex-Satanic nun comes and is like oh my bad this is an intimate moment and Crowley turns around immediately cross that someone's interrupting them but Aziraphale continues to stare at Crowley's face hornily until he reluctantly looks at the nun too. Thanks for the acting choices Michael Sheen.

They hypnotise her and Azi melts when she mentions the antichrist's toesy-woesies and then they leave and Azi is hit by paint, Crowley circles him devouring him with his gaze and finally blows away the paint with an air kiss. I see you, Azi, I KNOW you can get rid of it yourself. Anyway then Crowley turns all the paintball guns into rifles and people start shooting and Azi is like THIS is my husband and they walk away to have drinks while the police swarms.

People were like 'Crowley only ensured no one got killed because of the look Azi gave him' like LMAO have you MET them? Aziraphale is always fucking down for murder, Crowley is the one being like FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AZIRAPHALE NO. Azi was like "shit we gotta kill the antichrist you do it" and crowley's like "bitch slow down we can literally just raise the kid right"

Anyway Crowley gaslights some demons about seeing the hellhound and ig whatever I said happened in Ep 2 with Dog actually happened here etc

The bandstand scene, fuck me. Crowley asks Aziraphale to run away together from the end of the world and Aziraphale says no and they're both sad

we're all sad too

the end

[neighborlystudios]

Hi hi!

I saw you had written a bit for cp lh!rayman so if it's okay and if you're accepting requests, could you possibly do rayman flustering the reader in his suave tv host way?

・﹒・ suave host

Summary: You were at a party for Eden's most elite, only there due to your friend. It was for Rayman, but parties never were your thing, so you opted for sitting away from everyone. The host seemed to have found you and taken interest in you.

Warnings: 18+, suggestive comments

Notes: Hey! Thanks sm for the request! Sorry this took a while to get to! Im sorry if this was really short, I hope you enjoy regardless though! :D

It was a party for the elite, those high in Eden's ecosystem that were rich, you were only here because your friend knew one of the producers of the Eden Late Show with Rayman. In fact, he was here right now, as this was his party for reaching his 30th season. You haven't seen him yet though, opting to stay towards the quieter areas of the roof as social interaction was not your forte. You had wanted to meet him for so many years now, but anxiety did not want to. Were you ready to accept the fact that you were not as boisterous as him or as cute as him, or well...as popular and rich as him.

Dressed all nice, you looked down at Eden from the secluded part pf the balcony you picked swishing a wine glass full of water imagining it as the namesake. You chose not to drink any alcohol and if you did, it wouldn't make your first impression any better if you did manage to meet him. Meeting all these people above your social status only made your anxiety grow, feeling like one wrong word would make them blacklist you from any jobs and ruin your life. Setting the glass down, you stood up and walked to the glass railing, leaning on it and crossing your arms.

It's not like you hate Eden, far from it, you just wished that you could be successful like all these people here, to be able to have that financial security and to be able to positively impact others. That's why you loved Rayman so much, just by hearing his voice made you happy and comforted knowing that he was here to give hope to everyone.

"You're looking lonely there" That same voice cut through your thoughts and caused you to look back in surprise. Eyes wide, you looked in shock as the Rayman walked closer to you with his trademark smile. Why was he here and not where the main party is? You realized you didn't say anything and was just staring. Coughing, you choked up a reply and hope you didn't look like a total idiot.

"Well uh...these types of parties aren't really my thing hah..." awkwardly chuckling as you cringed, yeah that was bad. He didn't seem detoured though as he only walked closer and stopped when he was right beside you. You knew he was short, but being right next to him really hit you for the height difference between you both.

"Why are you here then? Wanted to see handsom old me?" He winked, causing your face to warm as you stutter out denials, he wasn't convinced naturally. Honestly, that's one of the reasons you went, but it was embarrassing to admit, especially to the man himself. He chuckled and pulled a chair from nearby, up to the railing, pulling himself up and standing on it so he was eye level with you. You cracked a smile and laughed, he looked like a toddler doing that.

"What's so funny huh? You won't be laughing when I-" he then leaned closer, surprising you as his mouth was right next to your ear.

"Show you a good time" and you were dead. Face now on fire, you clamped a hand over your mouth as he pulled away, face painted with a smug smile. Was he actually flirting with you right now?

"Awe, so shy, its adorable. You gone mute...hm...I might know a way to make you talk" He knew exactly what buttons to press to make you melt, causing you to grip onto the railing to prevent you from falling as your breathing quickened.

"I am the most powerful man in Eden after all...imagine...having everything you could ever wanted and more...So. Much. More." Anymore of this and you would collapse, not knowing how to respond or what to even do. It didn't help that his hand started to caress your thigh, only increasing his advances. Never in your entire life would you believe for a second that THE Rayman would hit on you, yet here you were, him hitting on you. The moment didn't last though, as someone came out and called out to Rayman that a journalist wanted to do an interview on him. Pulling away, he said one last thing before leaving.

"This isn't over. Meet me here in the lobby tomorrow, seven pm sharp" and he was gone. Once he was out of sight, you fell to the floor and was left to process what had just happened.

[imagining-in-the-margins]

Piece of Paper (S.R.)

Summary: Spencer and Reader discuss Autism evaluations.

Request: reader tells spencer "i think im autistic" and he’s like "wait you've never been evaluated/diagnosed??" and he helps her advocate for an evaluation or some other kind of support? A/N: I’m sorry if this isn’t exactly what you wanted, Anon, but this is the experience I would like to share as a person who was diagnosed as a toddler 🫶 Couple: Spencer Reid/GN!Reader Category: Comfort/Fluff Content Warning: Autism assessment/Anti-Autistic mentions, implied abuse/gaslighting, minor self-hatred, internalized ableism Word Count: 1k

MASTERLIST

The bullpen was as quiet as it ever was. The bustling crowds had passed through and returned to the comfort of their home. All that remained were those with deadlines, no date life, or neurodivergent tendencies.

You peeked across the desk to notice how Spencer’s hyper-focus had finally faded, leaving him now spinning in his chair while he stared at the ceiling.

“Hey, Spencer?” you called, “Can I ask you a kind of personal question?”

His chair came to a halt.

“Sure, but I’m not sure if I’ll have a satisfying answer,” he chuckled.

You floundered for a moment, struggling to come up with an appropriate way to ask your question. Yet, when you did finally speak, you were anything but eloquent.

“What was it like when you were diagnosed with Autism?”

“Oh!” he said excitedly, “I’ve actually never been assessed.”

Immediately, your face began to burn, and your stomach churned with the realization you’d just made a number of possibly rude assumptions.

“Oh, my gosh, I’m so sorry—“

“I’m not offended,” he reassured you with a smile, “I agree with your assessment.”

You smiled at the wordplay, but the intensity of his gaze drove your eyes back to the mess of paperwork on your desk.

“Can I ask why?” you asked.

Spencer didn’t seem to mind at all that you stared at the desk instead of him. He offered his explanation with his normal enthusiasm.

“My mom wasn’t exactly the biggest fan of psychiatrists.”

Understandable. Neither were you.

“Plus,” he trailed off. You turned to find him staring at the ceiling again. He rocked the chair back and forth as he said somewhat solemnly, “the world isn’t particularly fond of Autistic people.”

The words felt like a blow to your chest. Like your heart had turned to stone or something unbearably cold.

“Ah,” you sigh. You brought a hand to your face to try to hide the disappointment.

Spencer, still looking above you both, didn’t even notice the shift in tone.

“Why do you ask?”

“Nothing,” you replied, “It’s nothing, it’s stupid.”

Even he couldn’t miss the sadness in your voice, though. After a moment of uncomfortable silence, you heard the realization hit him with a gasp.

“Were you planning on scheduling an assessment?”

“I was considering it, but… I don’t know if I should.”

There were a lot of reasons why that was the case — self doubt, fear of the unknown, chronic gaslighting — but you didn’t want to go into all of that. Instead, you chose to sympathize with the plight he’d already shared with you.

“Because you’re right, other people are… not very receptive to the diagnosis.”

Some more than the rest.

Spencer paused for a second, even though you knew he wanted to say something. For a moment, he wrestled with the right words and the right tone to prevent his anger from projecting onto the wrong person.

“Would you be doing it for them?” he asked, “The other people?”

It seemed like a silly question… one you’d never really stopped to ask yourself.

“What do you mean?”

That time, when Spencer started speaking, you couldn’t find it in you to stop him. You stayed silent because you knew he was offering you his unfiltered thoughts on something personal to him. 

“I mean… why do you want someone else to tell you? I don’t want to talk you out of something that would bring you peace of mind, but I would encourage you to ask yourself if that’s really the reason you’re doing it, because that piece of paper can make a lot of things much harder for you. Immigration, medical decision making, adoption, child rearing, hell, even your job… that target on your back will impact aspects of your life that you’ve probably never even considered it would.”

You sat there, soaking in the hopelessness of the moment. You begged your heart to slow down, but it continued racing along with your thoughts.

Ultimately, there was nothing left to be said but, “Yeah, you’re right.”

“Did I upset you?”

There was a subtle regret in his voice, but you knew it had needed to be said. That bluntness, that unfiltered honesty had been exactly why you’d asked him.

So, you managed a smile as you thanked him the best way you knew how; by telling him the truth. 

“No, I appreciate your honesty.”

He responded with his own.

“Okay. I’m still sorry, though.”

“Thanks,” you said, although you’d meant ‘Me too.’ 

Spencer didn’t respond. Instead, he turned and scrambled to find a blank sheet among his notebooks. At first, you thought nothing of it. But once you heard him scribble something onto a piece of paper that was immediately ripped from its place, you turned to him.

His eyes remained fixed on the note he’d just written while he spoke.

“At the end of the day, no matter how badly we want to believe things will change… the people who don’t believe you now… they won’t believe a piece of paper, either,” he said.

Then, standing from his chair, Spencer closed the space between you, note in hand. He clutched it tightly between his fingers that were held against his chest.

“But if it helps, I believe you.”

Tears sprung from your eyes so quickly that you weren’t sure what to do with them. You decided to let them sit there, to soak in the saltwater reminder that you were not nearly as inhuman as the others made you seem. And when Spencer held out his hand to offer you the lifeline on lined paper, you took it.

He smiled.

“A doctor’s note, in case you ever need it.”

Spencer returned to his desk without another word. You set the piece of paper down and decided that, when you were ready, you would see what he’d had to say.

Then, when you were ready, you would find the handwritten message: 

“You are the only expert of your life. You already know the answer.”

(Tell me what you thought about this piece here!)

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Looking for more fics with an Autistic!Reader? Check out my Rec List here!

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[suugarbabe]

You are SO amazing love, never let anyone tell you any different. I WILL fight them 😤

Tysm for considering wolfstar!daughter, i think youd enjoy the current fics that are currently out for it. Most of them are x fred or george and it just reminds me of you everytime.

Sorry, this is probs going to be long 😬

For the prompt though, i imagine they came about reader when remus found her on a full moon as a toddler werewolf, abandond in the forest (last yr hogwarts or graduated doesnt matter, whatever you decide) and when Sirius finally finds Remus the next morning he's shocked, confused, and then melts. Big, tall, broard Remus has this small bundle of cuteness wrapped in his sweater trying to cuddle into him.

Whether youd like to continue on from there or do reader growing up or a time skip is up to you. Same as if James dies or not, whatever your brilliant mind decides 🧡 but if it helps this is how i see the family dynamic:

I think Sirius would be the overprotective kind of dad, never failing with that wonderful sense of dramatics!

While Remus is the calm voice of reason that talks himself down when he feels like he might be going a little overboard.

Of course we're Uncle Reggies little star, he will be mean to another child if they hurt you. He and James are constantly arguing over who's the better uncle.

James is the uncle that gives you alcohol illegally and doesnt adhere to a curfew.

So skip to hogwarts in some of the last years (im a ravenclaw so i always imagine reader as a ravenclaw but anyhouse would be fun to explore) and reader makes it official with Theo or Enzo. Harry's a tattle tale and tells his dad who then brags to Reggie, who the apparats him self the Sirius' to demand answers because "who was this vile thing that dared touch his star?? Boyfriend?!?! Fucking over his dead body!!" Fully expecting Sirius to agree with him. But he doesnt, he just sighs because at least they made it til 6th/7th yr before boys started, he'll give the poor boy a chance first. And then Remus bursts in and has a full meltdown. Thats his little wolf; his baby. She can have a boyfriend. A BOYFRIEND!?! He might puke. No this isnt allowed. Boys are gross. And nasty. And theyre going to hurt her. But not before he hurts them!! He's going to put the fear of godric into this boy! RIGHT NOW!! Wheres his wand? He needs to go to Hogwarts.

Its so unexpected that both Black brothers are frozen. Until Remus starts searching for his wand and Sirius has to calm him down while Regulus goads him on. And through all of it, reader and Enzo/Theo were standing at the door to 'meet the parents'.

And then however you want it to go from there love! So sorry that was soo long and rambely. Of couese no pressure to write it and take whatever creative liberties youd like!!

Thank you love x

The group had made an agreement that the girls would all get a flat together, as would the boys. So naturally Sirius, James and Remus planned and found one for themselves that was 'absolutely perfect' as Sirius put it since it back right up to a large patch of woods; 'Perfect for you, Moony'.

In the moment Remus had rolled his eyes, but truly he was thankful. By the last full moon of school, Remus had managed to transform back to himself without completely passing out. After the fourth full moon in the flat, Remus was able to still decently function after his transformations.

What neither Sirius nor James expected happened and they didn't know how to react initially. Sirius and James had lost sight of Remus toward the end of the night, now both transformed back to themselves looking for him.

When Sirius found him, he didn't expect the scene he walked upon. Remus shoulders were hunched over, and at first Sirius thought he was crying. But the closer he got, he realized it was not Remus making those noises, but...a child?

"Moony...what the bloody hell is that," Sirius voice was cautious, he was still convinced he might be hallucinating.

Remus turned around slowly, "She's like me, Pads. She...she was a tiny little wolf, I swear it." Sirius was skeptical, but the way Remus was looking down at you, every doubt was melting away. The way your tiny hands gripped on to Remus's sweater.

When Sirius got close enough, you reached out for him, and he was done for. When James caught up with the pair he had the same initial reaction. But like Sirius, one look at you and he was also convinced.

It had taken the girls no time to swoon after you, and the boys were forever grateful. While Remus declared himself your father (Sirius demanding his was Dad number 2). James became your fun uncle (funcle as he called himself, Lily rolling her eyes each time).

To say it had taken a village was not just a cliché, but reality. Sirius was every over protective father, having a flair for the dramatics any time anything happened, good or bad. Remus was more calm, essentially the voice of reason when Sirius was talking circles. You eventually became the perfect mix of the two, which they both loved.

When you got your Hogwarts letter Sirius threw a party, Remus thinking it was a little over the top but Sirius insisted, "Our little star got her letter, we're celebrating Moony." Regulus had brought you off to the side, insisting you owl him if anyone is mean to you, he'll come and fix it, "Even if it's another little twat kid, you let me know, okay Star?"

After fourth year, James let you try his beer for the first time. Sirius lost his mind, Remus reminded Sirius how much worse he was at your age and that if James was letting her try it that it was a better situation than he used to get in to.

What you didn't expect was the commotion that ensued during Christmas holiday seventh year. It was tradition for you and your dads to throw a party on Christmas Eve. You were putting the final touches on the Christmas biscuits you usually made when a loud pop sounded in the living room.

"SIRIUS GET YOUR ARSE IN HERE NOW!" The voice of Regulus rang throughout your house and you instantly froze. Sirius sauntered in, not bothered by his younger brothers tone, "Seriously, with the shouting Reg, what is it now?"

Regulus looked over Sirius shoulder at you in the kitchen before turning back to his brother, "How could you let her, huh? How could you let her do this, with a Slytherin no less? My little star? Who is this vile snake you've let touch our little girl, a boyfriend, Sirius, really?"

You held your breath, fully expecting your dad to lose it, go full on dramatics, but instead he just pinched the bridge of his nose, "Honestly, Reg, calm down. I'm surprised it took us till seventh year for her to finally decide to get a boyfriend, don't get me wrong, I'm thankful," he turned pointing at you, "but I trust her, Reg. And you should too. She's not like us. Really though, darling, a Slytherin?"

Sirius turned to face you and all you could muster was a shrug of your shoulders before your father burst in. "WHAT did I just hear? My wolf has a WHAT? With a WHO? Darling are you mad, who is this boy? A boyfriend? Oh my Godric, I think I'm going to be sick. Who is he, star? Who, tell me now. I'm getting my wand. Sirius, my wand now."

Remus held out his hand expectantly, but nothing happened. Both Regulus and Sirius stood frozen, mouths agape at Remus's reaction before a sly smirk crawled its way onto Sirius's features, "Oh my my, Moony, this is a sight."

At that moment the Potter's all appeared, the air obviously thick with tension. James looked between his friends, "Oi, what did we miss?"

When you saw Harry you were instantly enraged, your inherant traits from Sirius coming in to play, "You little fucking rat, you weasel, you knew I was going to tell them over break, how could you tell Reggie before I could tell my parents, I'll hex you Potter, I swear it!"

You started after Harry, only for James's strong arms to lift you up by the waist and hold you tight, "Woah there, mini Sirius, calm down. I think this might be my fault. Harry told me out of concern and I might have boasted about your feats to Reggie."

You went slump in your Uncle's grasp, "Uncle Jamie...how could you." You were pouting as he sat you down, giving you a tight hug, "I'm sorry, star, I was just so dang proud of you."

You looked over at your parents, Sirius now rubbing Remus's back who was pinching the bridge of his nose. There was a knock on the door, causing everyone's attention to switch towards the distrubance.

Walking towards the door, you looked back with your hand on the handle, "Be nice." The marauders and Harry held up their hands in defense, Regulus crossed his, "No promises."

When you opened the door, Enzo stood there, cheeks slightly pink. "Erm, are you sure it's okay for me to be here?" You laughed slightly out of embarrassment, "How much did you hear exactly?"

"Enough to know I'm more afraid of Professor Lupin than Sirius," he whispered as he followed you through the door.

"Dad, Father, this is Enzo. My boyfriend," You gestured toward Enzo who gave a shy wave.

Remus placed his hand on his own chest, "Oh thank god it's Berkshire. I was really worried, star dear. Really worried. Thought maybe it was going to be the Nott boy."

This caused both you and Enzo to laugh, Enzo speaking up finally, "Merlin, no, sir. Nott's afraid of Y/n actually. So you've done a good job."

"Don't start kissing ass just yet, Berkshire," Regulus stuck a finger out at the boy.

"Uncle Reggie. Behave," you scolded him like a child, he looked down at the floor like one, too.

Sirius stepped forward, extending his hand, "So sorry, my boy. I'm Sirius, Y/n's father. You've met Moony, erm, Professor Lupin, her dad. He's sorry for anything you may have heard through the door."

Enzo grabbed his hand, shaking it firmly, "It's alright, sir. It's a pleasure to meet the men who've raised such a strong woman." Enzo smiled at you affectionately, causing you to blush in front of your family.

"Look at that, Moons. Our little star is growing up," Sirius wiped a faked fear, while Remus was holding back real ones.

You sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose like your dad had done earlier, "Alright, who's hungry, hmm? Shall we eat?" You led Enzo towards the large table. Everyone followed suit, both Regulus and Remus grumbling slightly.

As you sat down, Enzo gave your thigh a squeeze. He leaned over and whispered in your ear, "Star, huh? That's cute." You side-eyed him, giving him a slight glare, "You tell anyone, you're a dead man."

Enzo grinned to himself, "It'd be an honor to die by your hands, love."

Across the table, Sirius gave Remus's thigh a squeeze, "She's growing up, Moons. Our little star." Remus nodded, pouring himself some brandy, "That she is, Pads. Our little wolf is a woman now." Sirius scoffed, "She still needs us though right?" Remus nodded, smiling, "We'll always be there for her."

[dotster001]

i was gonna make this a comment but smthn told me this was gonna be long.

SORRY FOR THE LONG-NESS OF THIS ASK

BUT DOT- THINK ABOUT YAN DILF JADE.

who knows if his ex wife was murdered or not, oh well! 🤭 best not to dwell on it because it makes the twins sad :(

see? (🧍🏻🧍🏻)

…anyways

but here me out (this is me going coco bananas. full on psycho mode) maybe the first time he saw you was at a RANDOM party that a friend of yours hosted.

blah blah mutual friend of a friend and that long friend family tree stuff

but maybe you slithered away to the dog, or were tasked with helping a baby (more like someone threw the baby at you in order to dance)

or you’re with the other room for the children that the party provides (this is like a really rich friend. like mega mansion. crazy rich asians kinda thing)

but ugh he’s there with his dreadful beautiful wife and his wonderful children. and his wife is already leaving to grab a drink and he thinks their children shouldn’t get a glimpse at whatever tom-foolery parties like these will lead to.

so in they go! (maybe this was years ago when they’re toddlers)

but then he sees you swarmed with babies. the nanny took a break and left you in charge and you’re fighting back babies with one of those roll-pop lawn mowers-

ARGHHH ONE JUST SPAT ON THE END OF YOUR RENTAL DRESS DAMNIT.

jade is utterly beside himself with laughter, amusement, and everything of the sorts and creates flirty small talk. and oh?? what's this? his wonderful bundles of joy seem to have found a liking to you? how precious (they’re clawing and climbing you like a jungle gym) jade takes a note of that!

they don't even like their mother that much , simply tolerating her. but jade can tell that his kids got good taste!

he lowkey interviews reader (without them know oops!!) and while yes, their beauty was what drove his interest, second being their personality (you have to be attracted to someone to give them a chance!)

and the twins were the cherry on top!

and conveniently you say where you work (rookie mistake) while he tells you he’s a humble business man… don’t ask what for tho cause that’s a super family secret 🤭

but he's planning and scheming and charming his way into your life and he’s in it for the long run because eels are patient. it just sucks that jade is even more patient, like a saint if you would

^^accurate depiction of saint jade

^^and this is jade when he gets questioned for his wife’s uh oh 🤷🏻🤷🏻

maybe she drank too much at a party and fell over the side.

maybe there was a targeted hit meant for jade but they got the wrong one.

maybe a classic batman scenario but jade survived and is throughly traumatized (same with his kids, i mean look at them!!🧍🏻🧍🏻 they’re so torn up that it just breaks his heart😿)

but he’s making chance encounters rather… commonly. (he had reader stalked for a good few years as he was planning everything. just to make sure he likes them& they keep it interesting.)

just... some thoughts about dilf jade leech and his hell spawns hehe (when the trio visited your work they managed to leave your section alone... so it looks like you were in the eye of the hurricane)

im gonna read your other stuff about dilf jade now because AHHHH

Angry at my boss, so I decided to see if there was anything in my inbox to cheer me up. Woo hoo!

In reference to this

Cw: light Yan!, implied stalking, Jade's a freak but if you don't already know that then you aren't paying attention

I can only imagine that, after the party, since you interacted with so many kids and parents that night, they all kind of blurred together. And it's not until, after he visits your place of work, and you chat over text for a while, and you have a real date, then invites you back home for an after date drink, do you start to remember. And that's only because the twins are scamps and stayed up past their bedtimes, and they are staring at you with eyes you remember.

Obviously, you are gonna chalk it up to a coincidence. "Oh my god! You know so-and-so, right? I think I met you at a party a few years ago!" He laughs, and plays along, oh my god,.yeah what a really good coincidence.

Meanwhile, the twins share a look, because Dad has talked about you every day since Mom died, so they know he's lying. Hell, when you aren't here, they already call you mama/papa. But, they are their father's kids, so they are never going to say anything.

One date turns to two turns to three, turns to a year of dating. It's time to meet the family. You know Jade has a twin, but they've taken different paths in life.

So when Dilf Floyd Trudges up the driveway with his six adopted kids, four of whom are sprinting around the house and lawn and destroying Jade's home, two of whom are under Floyd's arms like suitcases, you're in for a culture shock.

When you first meet him, he seems incredibly grumpy. He's got salt and pepper stubble, the baggiest outfit, though you get the feeling it's designer, no matter how slouchy it is, his hair is slicked back, making the grey streaks look neat against his otherwise messy look.

He tosses the kids and yells at them to go play with their cousins, then he rudely shoves past you. Jade stops him with a hand on his shoulder that appears gentle, but if you had felt the full force of it, you'd have landed on your ass. He hissed at Floyd, through a smile, to greet his new fiance. There's a tense moment where they stare at each other, then Floyd storms over to you, and presses a ticklish kiss to your cheek, before muttering, "Welcome to the family," then storming to his room and locking himself in for the night.

The next day it's like he's a different person. He makes breakfast for you and excitedly asks you about yourself, wanting to know everything about his future sibling. Eventually he pours you a glass of what you know is Jade's most expensive wine, which he has been saving for a special occasion, and you finally get the courage to ask about the night before, and he laughs and says he was tired from the trip. Wrangling six kids on an airplane is exhausting, you know?

You decide to ask him about little Jade, and Floyd's stories of childhood charm you so much that you don't notice Jade's brooding presence.

Not that Floyd minds. Yeah, he got off to a rough start with you, but he gets why Jade likes you. And Jade only has two parentless kids, he has six. So his kids need you more than Jade's do, right?

Will the dad's eventually drag the kids into this fight? Absolutely. Those kids have Mafia parents, they have plenty of acting training. They will be pulling those heartstrings of yours 😊

[sanjiscigarettes]

Op men when you stop giving them attention randomly

fandom: One piece.

Characters: monkey.d.luffy, roronoa Zoro, vinsmoke Sanji. Fem reader in mind

Monkey.D.luffy:

Bro how are you even going to ignore luffy. You have to keep eyes on him. Lift an eye to another sight for 3 milliseconds and the next thing you know he is wrestling a gorilla.

He Whines alot.

get ready to get gomu gomu no-ed to his chest-

he'd pick a fight with any strawhat to grab your attention. (You don't cheer, you just help poor chopper after the fight)

He likes clinging and hugging you while whining which HE DEFF WOULD CUZ HE HAS AN IQ OF A TODDLER (which is cute). (a/n maybe the IQ the size of a germ)

"so in the next Island, THERE IS A ALL YOU CAN EAT BUFFET. FULL OF MEAT!! what do you say y/n? We should definitely go sometime! You, me, Zoro, Ussop, nami-" he paused as he realized you weren't paying attention. You were across the room talking to robin.

The next thing you were about to hear was something that made your heart jump out. "GOMU GOMU NOOO" his hand placed on your shoulder. You gulped. Everyone fell quiet. Next thing you know Zoro starts praying to jesus even though he's an atheist, (wow Luffy changing religion rn) "wait LUFFY NO PLS-" "Y/N CHWANN!!!" Sanji exclaimed. "ROCKETT" "LUFFY YOU LITTLE SHIT-" Zoro yelled, you were on the floor. Luffy was on top of your back. "Luffy- mph- why?"

"because you left me outt!!!"

"I would like to have a conversation with Luffy" Nami said

Next thing you know he comes back with a red head and Botox lips.

Roronoa zoro:

Bro is the one ghosting you most of the time.

However if he somehow has a change of heart. And you start ignoring him, the change of heart will change.

He will DRAG YOUR ASS, NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE.

"which one should I get?" Zoro asked you, pointing at the three swords.

You simply ignored. "Y/n, which.one.should.i.get."

You continued to ignore him. next thing yk, he pins you somewhere behind the store. "I know damn well you heard me. Why are you ignoring me-"

You just keep silence.

"fine, I'll make you talk.."

..

He slapped the shit out of you btw, it was one slap but it was pain. "OWHHH, WHAT WAS THAT FOR???"

"for ignoring me woman. Now let's go back to the store"

Sanji didn't let this slide, he saw the slap and he fought Zoro for the entire day.

Vinsmoke sanji:

Poor dude. Bean

He'd think that he upset you :"(

probably be concerned at first.

(One time it happened that you zoned out, and he accidently hit your face with a frying pan. He apologized so much.) He might think that's the reason. (It happened two years ago btw)

he will make you COMFORT FOOD

"Y/NNNNNN-CHWANN YOU WANNA HELP ME BAKE TODAYY??" He remembered today, you promised to help him bake a cake, he was all jumpg and excited, so you felt kinda guilty to ignore him.

"y/n-chwan?" He asked. you just kept ignoring.

He paces around the room, trying to remember if he upset you. Suddenly he had those flashbacks, the frying pan incident.

next thing you know you come in. And there's you fav food, with a note. Saying that he's so sorry about the frying pan incident.

"Ji that was two years ag-"

"I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW. BUT I FIGURED YOU'RE MAD AT ME AND THATS WHY YOUR IGNORING ME IM SO SORRY YNN CHWAN I DONT MEAN TOooOo" he starts bowing down and crying. You hug him saying that you're really sorry (YOUR A MONSTER :" [ )

[mysticficti0n]

All my attention Part 4

warnings- swearing, drinking, sexual tension, romance, fighting?

words- 3.8k

If you'd like to read the previous parts → All my attention series

a/n- so if you're new here I am British and cannot speak any German, I speak a little French, Spanish and Italian but German- no. I also do not trust Google translate so this is gonna be like an avatar thing (if you've seen the newest one Jake says that their language just became normal or something along those lines) so in reality this is all in German, you as a reader know German but, its wrote in English... make sense? no... well, sorry this part has taken a while- I'm on holiday atm so I probably wont be posting till I'm home BUT I didn't want you to be without, also fucking thank you all so much for the response to the first and second part and now third! I can't believe the response to it, I could've cried because im a baby , love you all

(P.s- this one is shorter and shittier, I've not had much free time so this was written between 2 days- so I'm sorry I promise once I'm home they will get much better and saucy 😉)

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backstory- you are the 5th member of Tokio Hotel and you always thought the love was equally platonic between you and a certain guitarist... but what if that all changed?

"okay rock, paper, scissors who goes first" I smiled turning to him, we balled our fists up and chanted "rock, paper, scissors" Tom held rock and I was paper "YES!" I cheered

"yeah well done" Tom cooed dramatically, I looked around and Tom put his hands back onto my legs fiddling with my anklet I forgot I had on and finally something caught my eye

"eye spy with my little eye something beginning with C" I spoke seeing his eyes dart around the car and out the window

"case?" I shook my head "cigarets?... car?... cap?.... your erm.. cardigan!?" I laughed seeing him become annoyed so easily "how hard can it be... is it in here?"

"yes it is- all around us in fact" Tom's brown eyes widened at my words and he carried on looking

"crisps?... OH Carpet!" he finally called to which I clapped my hands "thats such a shit one" he moaned

"so why did it take you 6 try to get it Thomas?" I asked eyeing him slightly

"shut up- alright erm.. eye spy with my little eye... ah... something beginning with B" he smiled looking at me

"Books?... bottles?...bags?....Bill?.... bandage?... bracelets?... is it in or out?" Tom blew at my words

"sorry what? in or out?"

"yes in the car or out the car!?" he oh'ed at me with a smirk forming on his face

"in" with a nod I carried on looking, I couldn't see anything beginning with B and I began to give up "wanna another clue?"

"yes because I don't have a fucking idea" I grumbled

"its living" my eye squinted seeing Tom laugh at me

"no I give up what the fuck begins with B and is 'living'?!" I called slamming myself back into my seat

"bassist" he purred looking back at a sleeping Georg

"we're not playing eye spy anymore" I spoke turning away from him and looking out the window

"oh come on!" Tom pinched "I'll make it easier" I turned back and saw his eyes look softer, a pout forming on his lips "please" he whined

"can't we just spend time together?" I asked pouting like him

"go fuck yourself Y/n" the guitarist huffed shoving my legs off his lap "I wanna play a game!" angrily he crossed his arms like an annoyed toddler and sunk deeper into the chair, I sat up straight and leant towards him, close to the shell of his ear

"we can play when were home Tommy" I whispered gently to him, his posture became more stiff and he tucked his lip between his teeth, our eyes met and for a long moment we stayed still just staring

"is that a promise?" he spoke back giving me a shiver down my spine, a serious blush colouring my cheeks, I always try have the upper hand when we 'flirt' but I always melt at his words

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I woke up to the feeling of being unbuckled out my seat, my eyes parted to see a smiling black haired boy who was whispering something "oh you're awake, were home sleeping beauty" he let go and moved to be out the way, I looked out to see the sky a beautiful purple and pink then... my home

the orange brick and small patterns in-beaded in the concrete (this is what I'm basing it off, I know its says luxury but I just like the outside look of it! ) and the white windows, it was a refreshing sight, I saw all our bags outside the front door and I practically ran up, I passed Gustav who was looking at the flowers that bloomed around the drive, I opened the door and saw the hall I remember running down as a child and all the family pictures decorating the place "MOM! WERE HOME!" I called listening to where her voice would come from

"OKAY COME OUTSIDE, BRING THE BOYS!" she shouted back, I went and gathered the other 4 and brought them threw the house we all knew to well, we went right through and saw our families chatting and drinking wines, beer and small snacks were laid out "oh my darlings, how was your drive?"

"Long we got stuck for fucking ages" Bill cursed grabbing a beer "happy to be home" we all agreed and grabbed ourselves a beer, cheering them all together and taking a swig, I looked out to the garden seeing my sister in her little house playing with my dad and Gustav's and then our trampoline

"hold this" I spoke to Georg who grabbed my bottle, I took off down the garden and climbed onto the metal and started jumping seeing everyone watching me "Hi Stella!"

"Hi hi Baba!" she waved giving me a gummy smile as she watched me bounce up and down

"Y/N YOU'RE 17!" Simone called

'AND WHAT!" I shouted seeing her laugh, then Bill tapped his brothers shoulder and came down the steps to me and got on the trampoline, we bounced each other laughing as one went higher than the other, soon Gustav joined, then Tom and then finally Georg and soon we were making everything a competition "I CAN GET HIGHER!" I called as everyone jumped shooting me into the air "AHHH HOLY SHI-" I screamed as I came back down, we played crack the egg and alligator and gazelles but then my dad came and pulled us off

"we have guests, they've come to see you all- so behave and grow up will ya" he warned as we all rolled our eyes "ah- say it"

"yes sir" we all groaned walking back up into the house seeing our parents hugging someone "who is it?" Gustav asked grabbing his beer again

"dunno" Bill spoke trying to see over the group "looks like a women?" I thought to myself but came to no avail

"Y/n, Bill, Tom you remember Scarlett and her family right?" my mom asked bringing a women forward, she had dark brown hair and very fair skin, I looked to the twins who like me had no clue

"erm.. yea of course, Scarlett lovely to see you" Tom spoke first sticking his hand out with a fake smile

"oh Bill! look how grown up you are" she pulled the wrong twin into a hug

"oh no thats Bill, this is Tom" my mom laughed patting the taller twins shoulder

"oh I'm sorry boys- you look so similar!" I watched as the two eyed each other, with their totally opposite style that they've had since the late 90's you'd think people could differentiate the two

"ah yeah" Tom replied as the women hugged his brother

"and Y/n you look so different, what happened to your hair? and you have so many ear pricing! and you have boobs!" she chuckled giving me a hug

"yep- comes with being a girl" I spoke awkwardly "oh and this is Gustav and Georg" the lady waved to them to which the two smiled "how are you anyways" I asked trying to redirect the conversation

"good good, moved house, re-married left that cheating fucker I called my husband- 5th marriage now" Scarlett grinned making us go wide eyed "but you know, me and Benson and Zach, my youngest son who I don't think you've met tried to get tickets to your concerts, I remember how you 4 used to be amazing friends but obviously went different paths.. well actually- Benson doll come here, come say hi!" my eyes went to the two boys who shrugged not remembering a Benson, soon a tall-ish blonde boy with blue eyes stepped forward "no- get your brother- they don't know you" she hurried making me cringe slightly for the boy who frowned

"its alright if he's busy scar, they can say hello later" my mom smiled placing her hand on Toms arm

"no no- ah here you are, remember-"

"holy fuck" I spoke seeing the boy, well now man. Very tall, black haired, freckled faced, green eyed boy who I remembered being a awkward, snotty, weird little kid "ben?"

"Y/n god its been years" he spoke, his voice was deeper and rougher "Bill, Tom" he shook their hands and the two smiled remembering our old friend, he moved to me hugging me

"you've changed dude" Tom laughed staring at him

"I know, I thought I should make something of myself, I mean I look at you three and i'm shit compared" a snicker left my mouth and he joined in "yeah I mean, we all moved on right" he looked back at me and I saw his eyes travel along me and a smirk on his face "we all changed"

"ah-well erm... what are you doing now or?" Tom joined coming closer to me and putting an arm around my shoulder pretending to get comfy but I knew what he was doing "got a girlfriend?" I looked to the dreaded boy who didn't take his eyes of the other boy

"oh no no, can't be arsed with all the girl stuff, to much work I'd rather get my fair share, sorry Y/n- anyways, I'm an electrician.. don't want to bore you all so I'll let you go but erm, we should catch up so I can here all about your guys concerts" he looked back towards me

"yeah we should, maybe we could meet you at a bar?" I asked seeing the twins eyeing the boy again, Bill had a frown watching him

"ah well- they have their own lives I was thinking me and you? like a date maybe at my place?" I laughed slightly but Tom stepped in before I could even get a word out

"yeah she has her own life too but we have to relax for a while, we've been on tour and we have a radio show thing tomorrow night- thats our life so..." I saw Bill laugh

"basically were saying you're not putting your cock in her Ben- you're still as weird as you when we were kids" the other twin spat getting a glare from Ben and his mother who stood looking at Bill with a lopsided smile

"I think Y/n can speak for herself" she quipped making me roll my eyes

"look its nice n all, and you're a very.. nice guy but you kinda ruined it by saying having a date at yours, I've traveled all over and I know I maybe a girl but I'm not stupid- were not gonna fuck" with a huff he went to turn away

"its fine, id rather not be known for sleeping with the chubby slut side singer from a band sad fuckers listen to anyways" my jaw dropped, who the fuck did he think he was talking to?

"watch your fucking mouth" I spoke seeing the families turn to look at me, he smiled looking down at me "don't fucking smile at me because I'll carve you into the floor you dick" I hissed shoving him away as he tried to step forwards attempting to intimidate me

"okay calm down sugar" at that I felt the arm that was around me go and Tom was over the boy pushing him back

"TOM!" his mom called "BILL GET YOUR BROTHER!" he 'tried' pulling his brother off but he was enjoying this, Bill loved drama "Gordon grab him" she spoke shoving her boyfriend at Tom. The boys step dad grabbed him away and Tom shouted a few words back at him

"DON'T FUCKING TRY- YOU WONT DO SHIT" Tom roared trying to push off Gordon who was holding his shoulders talking to him to get him away, my mom was ushering us away, our fathers stood watching cheering on Tom, not helping the situation getting angered stares from the women

We watched as Scarlett went out shouting things to her son and waving my mother bye, with a breath it was time to face the words of our mothers "what was that for!" my mom Angelica spoke with a growl

"mom it wasn't Toms fault" I began seeing her shake her head "he was trying to get me to fuck him, they were sticking up for me"

"Tom, Bill Is this true?" Tom nodded taking a sip of his beer

"then he called her chubby and a slut! like come on Angie in makes sense why" Bill added and my moms eyes shot up

"what!" Simone spoke standing from her seat "that bitch" my mom shot her a look and she sat back down

"well Tom, you two as well, I understand why it happened. carry on" we nodded and walked to Georg and Gustav who were laughing

"had fun?" Gustav shoved his friend

"fuck off" Tom whispered staring out to the garden

"I think I'm going to change" the boys nodded and I lifted my drink and made my way up stairs to my room tabled 'my little sunshine' the sticker had been on there since I was born- It was a nickname only my mom called me and I knew if she didn't say it I was in a lot of shit. I looked in the mirror and saw in the reflection the large poster of Tokio Hotel I had above my make-up desk, It was us doing our 'signature' pose pointing to the camera with our bad bitch faces on as Bill said. I took off my shirt leaving me in my baggy jeans and a bra with lace curling around it, I walked to my window which looked over the back garden and watched as the boys were now playing with Stella, it looked like they were having a tea party of sorts which made me smile, I loved how they treated Stella like their sister too

"Y/n can I come in?" a voice startled me as his face appeared around the door

"fuck, yeah come in, I thought you were outside still" I laughed seeing Tom but his face didn't copy mine- he was still angry, he perched on my bed looking around the room "I think I might redecorate its little, dated" he nodded but his eyes went back to me

"I'm sorry" I furrowed my eyebrows

"for what?, you were sticking up for me I'm not going to be like 'ugh Tom how dare you!' am I?" a small smile cracked on his lips

"I keep being really... over the top I guess, like say you did actually like Ben and I just acted like that?" I rolled my eyes sitting myself next to him placing my hand on his knee

"I would've told you to back off- so don't worry" his eyes drifted to mine and turned softer, I moved my hand to his jaw and let my thumb caress his cheek "and I like you being protective over me, so you're fine"

"you're to good to me" he spoke watching me closely "and I could be a lot more protective of you, if thats what you like" his voice was a sultry whisper, I neatly melted to his words, I think he realised when he chuckled deeply causing me to just shudder, our foreheads knocked onto each others, our lips brushing each others

"okay pretty boy- lemme change" Tom's face lit up slightly with a blush but he sighed laying back on my bed covering his eyes "fine" I accepted he wasn't going to leave which in reality didn't effect me, I got changed infront of him a lot so quickly I pulled out a black tube top, my zip up hoody and sprayed myself with my 'can can' spray

"that smells good" he stood up coming to stand behind me, arms circling my waist "remember what you said earlier?" he spoke in my ear pressing a small kiss to my jaw

"I do, but people will be wondering why you've got a boner so... and you can't really say its from your best friend because she's so sexy and turns you on beyond any other girl in the universe can you?" I smiled turning to him, I knew I was torchering him "and then everyone will know you have a crush on me, because I'm so perfect"

"you play a hard game Y/l/n" I grinned turning myself in his arm so his hand was on my back "literally"

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the moon rose into the sky, Stella was in bed and we were all sat around a small fire the dad's made, my mom and Gustav's mom were making cocktails in the kitchen while Georg and the twins mom chatted while sipping on some wine from earlier, leave us five talking about our shows

"I think we could be more extravagant" Bill spoke "more lights and make the ground shake uno?"

"yeah I want to be deaf at the end" Gustav added taking a bite of a sandwich

"maybe we should try traveling more with tour? like going to America and England, Mexico" I asked cuddling into the blanket we had

"hot chicks in England" Georg added cheersing Tom with their beer "and guys for you" we all laughed and soon Gustav's mom came out with a tray of drinks, 5 cocktails and 5 shots, followed by my dad holding a camera

"we are calling these 'Tokio Hotel martini'!" she called handing us glasses full of a purple liquid "its 3 ounces gin, ½ ounce maraschino liqueur, ½ ounce freshly squeezed lemon juice, ¼ ounce crème de violette, ice and Cocktail cherry for garnish!" she smiled "and here's some vodka" a laugh left our lips as we all quickly grabbed one "enjoy!" we all tapped the shots twice onto the table and knocked them back and quickly chased it with the 'Tokio hotel martini' which was delicious to say the least

"mom these are amazing" Gustav hummed "thank you" we all spoke together

"you can tell they're our children" Simone began wrapping a arm around my mom "little shits" she smiled

"thanks mom" Bill grinned

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The night turned into just everyone relaxing, Georg and Bill went up into the spare room and to sleep, Gustav was playing pool with the dads while me and Tom sat with our moms and drank different alcohol that was set out, I was sat leaning on the arm of the chair and my legs over Tom who was stroking them without a thought

"what times that interview thing?" Alexia Georg's mom asked tapping me on the shoulder

"erm... I'm not sure- Tom what time is the-" he looked over answering before I could finish

"starts at 6" he went back to his conversation and Alexia only giggled

"6 then, how come?"

"well we were thinking of booking a meal, as like a celebration and inviting all the grandparents because they've missed you all, so you think it would be done for 9?" I nodded seeing her walk into he house and pull the phone off the hook, I turned back to the dreadlocked boy and just found myself staring at him, just the way he looked while in a serious conversation but then a smile appearing on his face when a joke was made, the way he held me like I was his but I knew it was just a platonic sort of thing, we'd never done anything besides kiss, I knew I'd never be his- I wasn't going to be mad if he did find girls I mean come on its Tom Kaulitz he could get any girl, I was just lucky we were so close anyways, all I knew is that he liked making out with me and occasionally I looked pretty to him

"thats what I said to Y/n, because we want one...yeah what do you think?- Y/n" I was snapped out my trance by him shaking my leg gently

"sorry what was that?" I asked bring myself to the conversation

"getting a tattoo" my mouth made a 'O' shape and nodded

"yes oh my god I want so many but we want one for the band" Tom nodded looking back to the women "and I want to get some more piercings, like the middle of my lip and nose" my mother shook her head

"why your nose! its so cute" Bella Gustav's mom joined "'the lip will look badass though" I smiled seeing my mom sigh at her friend not being very helpful "what! come on Angelica lighten up"

"you'll love it mom!" she nodded rolling her eyes

"well its getting late- I think you two and Gus should go up to bed, its already.. fuck 12:30, Yes bed" She began pulling me and Tom up and calling Gustav over, we hugged and kissed everyone goodnight and made our way into our rooms, Gustav walked in and just fell onto the air mattress on the floor, I looked to see Georg and Bill sharing the bed, Bill had stolen most the blanket as usual so being the good friend I am I went and grabbed an extra blanket for the bassist and placed it over him

"let me walk you to your room" Tom whispered grabbing my hand and pulling me down the corridor into my bedroom, the room was dim but I could make out where he was and the smirk along his lips "I saw you staring at me" I tried to avoid his eyes "oh so you wont look at me now huh?" he pushed and I stayed silent, embarrassed of how he saw me, his fingers curled under my chin and pulled my face to meet his which looked softer "you're okay Y/n" Tom pulled me closer which I didn't even know was possible, my heart began beating quickly, it felt as if it could leap out of my chest at any moment. Our eyes met for a brief moment again before he leaned in and pressed his lips gently to mine. In that moment, time seemed to stand still as I melted into his embrace. Every inch of my body was on fire as I smiled feeling his breath on me, the kiss felt different, and had more meaning then the ones before "fu-fuck you're so beautiful" he hummed. Together we stumbled to my bed where he fell below me, I crawled to be closer to him, Tom's hands searching my body but quickly finding themselves comfy on my waist, I held his face between my hands, smoothing his skin with my thumbs. we parted with dopey smiles smothering our faces, lips pursed and eyes open only slightly "actually I prefer looking at you from down here"

"oh yeah- bet you do" I laughed feeling him sit me on his hips which a small yelp left my mouth "sorry" the guitarist only grinned moving his hands onto my thighs with a sigh "what?" I asked

"what are we?" a question I had actually wondered a lot about "I know what I'd like to be"

"and whats that?" I spoke leaning closer to him, letting the smell of his cologne and beer fill my nose

"yours"

[rzyraffek]

Could you please do headcanons Slashers (like Michael, Brahms, Billy, The Sinclair brothers) as caregivers for their S/O who is an age regressor

Or headcanons for those Slashers when they find out their s/o is an age regressor?

Okay I acually went and educated myself on this topic for you my dear anon🥰🌼

if your uncomfortable with topic of age regression pls dont read that😭

So basically as far as I understand age regression means that somone acts like child due to some traumatic event??? And like they act childlike and participate in child typical activies (such as drawing with crayons, speaking like a toddler, drinking from bottles ect) if i make headcanon that don't make any sense im sorry! I have no experience with this topic! ALSO this is pure platonic! Age regression isn't a kink or a fetish!!

Slashers with age regressor y/n

Brahms Heelshire

Tbh y/n acting childish kinda woke up his inner child, CUZ HE LITTERALY GOT LOCKED IN WALLS IN AGE OF LIKE 10 so he kinda missed out on some fun stuff

100% plays hide and seek! Or tag! My man loves some good round of hide and seek, this place is huge! *insert british accent* "oh you little scallop... if I find you I will tickle you so hard..."

Question: age regression is like temporary or like forever thing? Like regressor acts like that when they are in bad metal state or just always? Bcs if always then it might be hard with Brahms, see he kinda.... has mommy's issues has huge need to be taken care of, probably similar to y/n's, he kinda wants a person who will just pamper him and make him feel like he's the single child yknow? All the attention on him? Yknow what i mean??

If y/n draws him something nice, dude will put it on a fridge with a magnet and be proud

If thats like temporary thing, he acaully will ask a lot of questions: how should he act? Do you remember anything? How does it work? Can he get some cuddles? Do you still love him while regressing? (Ofc you do, but he doest understand)

Billy Lenz

You guys vibe

Dude won't see any difrence😭

Yay one more reason to watch cartoons together! (His favorite ponny is rarity and fluttershy)

If y/n babytalks and uses toddler-like vocabulary... dude will mimic it😭 he just thinks that will help with communication😭 its not like you guys struggle with it or anything, Billy is just build like that

Yall draw together, his artstyle already looks like toddler drew it (not in cute way)

Plays dolls with y/n (but he acually makes it interesting! Like he makes it all dramatic and the tea is just jawdropping)

Also don't bother explaining what is age regression, just say "sometimes I act like kid to cope"😭

Micheal Myers

Judges

But kinda likes it, not in weird way! He enjoys taking care of y/n, but he has his own ways of doing so

He won't play with them or let them cuddle him too much

But he accepts little drawings and stickers that y/n gives him

He is still stalking them, making sure noone tries to bully them or anything

He is very protective, for example if y/n cuts their finger while making food, dude is all over them: Oh no no dont cry! Uhhh.... uhhh oh! See a pretty bandage? With puppies! Pls dont cry...

On rare days he is acually around (phicially i mean, cuz hes always around just not interacting with y/n) and it happens for him to be in good mood too, he will let y/n nap on him or put some stickers on his outfit- he never takes them of btw, the only reason that stickers wash of is the field he 'works' in? Yknow a lot of mud blood and water. He also holds y/n hand if they are spooked

And he fucking loves fluttershy and applejack

Steals some cute shirts and socks for them!

Sinclair Bros

Bo is the least understanding, tbh he will lisen to y/n only if they have very good relationship

Vince is just 👍

And Lester is acually very open to the idea

Drawing and playing dolls with Vincent

Going on cool drives with Lester

And napping with Bo

Whole fridge is covered in drawings and cute magnets

All Vincent's notebooks and Lester truck covered in stickers

Even Bo gun didnt escape the sticker apocalypse

Vince made special wax figurines for y/n

Lester calls them "kiddo" 😭😭

Bo puts his hand on their head and rubs it till their hair goes all puffy

They all act like older brothers who have to take care of younger siblings while perents are away😭😭

Vince acually vents to regressing y/n and they are just like: "man I just wanna pet the dog"

Bonus round! Added few more!!

Bubba Sawyer

Bestie vibes

Yall just spend time playing with dolls and drawing together

Absolutely lets y/n nap on him

He totally combs their hair and puts them in nice bun (or if y/n has short hair he will just brush it)

He kinda sees age regression as lil break from reality? Like you two can just vibe and act they way you want to😊 he enjoys, cuz tbh he do be acting like child(not in bad way!) And his happy that you both can do all those child-like activities without being judged by other person

Bit y/n once

Asa Emory

Ew a child

I mean

Idk he gives me "the dad that never has time for u cuz he has too much work"

Like yep he will read y/n a bed time story and he will tell them all about bugs and nature. But hes busy most of time

OMG ABOUT BED TIME STORIES Asa will read you one but he is so exhausted that he acually falls asleep first

He trusts them and knows that even whilr regressing they wont do anything dumb, but he still bans them from his 'workroom' theres... well some photos and drawings of victims and i doubt y/n wants to see it

Lets them sit on his lap while he reads newspaper like middle-aged man he is

Gives lil head kisses before sleep

Bug themed plushies and figures

Makes y/n watch animal planet and bbc nature with him

When he's out for longer periods of time he will buy them McDonald's as an apology

Welp

Done. I hope it makes sense! I never witnessed anyone age regress so idk how relatable it is!! I used x reader tags only to reach bigger audience

[ech0schamber]

okay i kinda forgot to come back wkdjs. hmm, let’s go a little domestic this time. how about grocery shopping with texchou, dazai, and ranpo (and or any characters you want to add)? how would they act there?

i just want to say i can see ranpo telling you to push him around as he sits in the cart after he grabs what he wants 💀💀

why is this the only gif that i can find of him??

if i dont get his character correct, my bad. im still figuring out some of these characters :']

☆he actually had to time to go grocery shopping with you! congrats, this man works too much

☆i feel like he would be the most normal about it between the three

☆please ban him from cooking for the both of you. and don't let him go grocery shopping by himself

☆follows you around like a lost puppy, but probably does get lost at some point

☆he was probably looking at some weird shit he could put together for his liking and didn't realize you walked off

☆he'd probably try sneaking some monstrosity food into your cart, so maybe keep an eye on him

☆he seems like a menace, so small chance he might cause a scene if you don't let him get his monstrosity

☆FUCKING MENACE TO ALL OF MAN KIND

☆unless you put one of those baby backpacks with a lease on it, he will not stay by you at all.

☆he will immediately walk off either 1) grab as much crab as he can or 2) find some monstrosity to try

☆honestly, leave his ass at home. you will only come back with maybe half the stuff you wanted to get because you were constantly having to make sure he doesn't run off

☆oh? you're not going to let him get that much crab? mans will throw a tantrum. (he has canonically thrown temper tantrums to get what he wanted.)

☆BUT

☆you go grocery shopping while he's eepy? his staying glued to your side. honestly, he's probably hugging you from behind while you drag him through the store

☆he'll complain to hell and back, but at least you get the groceries you need

☆honestly, you're right

☆the second you grab a shopping cart, he is throwing himself into it. refuses to get out until you're done shopping

☆i hope you have the patient of a saint bc oh boy

☆will loudly complain about what you are getting, but not because he doesn't like the food/ingredients you get. he just wants attention.

☆will grab random things of candy off of shelves. put them back. he needs to eat some healthy food, and he has plenty of candy hidden around your apartment

☆not as much as a menace, surprisingly. won't actively try to cause a scene, but the people around you can definitely hear him complain the whole time

☆if he's an eepy guy tho? he's koala-ing you. you will have to walk around with a grown man clinging to the front of you like a toddler.

☆no matter what, you're gonna get stared at, hope you don't have social anxiety!

-------

you can tell who i love the most out of this group lmao

and again, sorry if tecchou isn't in character, my autistic ass has a hard time understanding characters sometimes

[cyberrose2001]

hi hope you're well, a kinda long text coming...

with all the requests FILLED (literally) with joy with optimus, I shall be the one to break it HAHAHA so... can you do like a scenario where the reader and optimus are happy living their lives with the sparklings (imagine triplets!!!) everything is perfect but then........

optimus wakes up from his dream and realizes it all, the perfect family is not real, the reader is not alive, not being able to live with it, he suffers everyday bc of those dreams, he traps himself in this "reality" of his dreams (like that episode fr tfp on Megatron's mind) and isolate himself

hope that's not to sad >:) and if you're comfortable writing this, if not sorry.

Thank you author ❤️❤️❤️

TFP Optimus x human!fem!reader

you're very welcome anon!! this took waaaay too many drafts HAHA but im quite happy with it now, this is such a sad concept and now i just wanna give op a hug :(

I should also mention that I left the details of the sparklings biology unspecified. Whether you prefer them to be cybertronian, human or half-and-half is up to you! <3

Warnings: Angst, SFW

Word count: 1436

“Optimus, honey?” The wonderful voice of his lover called out to him. Closing the front door behind him, Optimus breathes a sigh of relief. Her soft voice calling out his name plays on repeat in his processor. “Is that you? Could you come and help me for a second?”

He had no idea how he got so lucky, to start a family with who he considers the most beautiful specimen in the known universe. Together, they both created three sparklings, all triplets and it was further proof that either Primus or another deity of life had seen the good that Optimus had done and blessed him with both her and sparklings. The day he found out that she was pregnant with them was the first time in his life that he experienced pure joy, the second time was when she gave birth to his little ones and officially became a sire.

With a soft smile, Optimus follows her voice to the playroom of the quaint house he calls home. He is thankful that mass displacement technology exists, allowing him to comfortably live in the house with his family. He observes from the doorway as his sparklings play with stuffed toys and little building blocks, making an absolute mess of the room. He clears his throat and leans against the doorway with folded servos, “I hope you young ones are going to help your mother with cleaning up.”

Three small heads perk up at the voice of their sire, all of them dropping their toys and bouncing over to him. He kneels down and gives his two sons a strong hug, pecking them both on the heads with kisses.

“Daddy!” The last born of the three calls out to him. Optimus chuckles softly as he opens his arms for her, embracing her close to his chassis. Now Optimus is not the one to pick favourites with his sparklings and loves them all equally, but his only daughter was the first one to hug him whenever he came home. She was also the one who took the most interest in his stories of when he was the great leader of the Autobots, constantly begging for her sire to re-tell them as a bedtime story, with the more graphic details left out. It makes the inner archivist within Optimus swell with pride that at least one of his sparklings has taken a liking to the history of his home planet.

“Hello, my sweetspark.” Optimus nuzzles his faceplate to her nose, enjoying the little giggles that erupted from her. He picks her up and places her on his hip, a servo supporting her under her bottom, “Did you have fun today?”

“Yeah! Look what I do!” His toddler babbles as she points to a large tower made out of the small plastic blocks. It wasn’t very impressive by Cybertronian standards of what sparklings can do, but it doesn’t matter to Optimus, he will gush over anything that his kids build or draw in order to expand their creativity.

“Did you build that?” Optimus smiles at her, “How clever of you, honey.”

She nods eagerly, a big grin on her face, “Mommy helped!”

“Did she?” He looks towards his wife who was kneeled on the floor, stomach swollen with the life of another sparkling. She was sorting out the seemingly endless pile of toys that was thrown about on the floor. Optimus can’t help but admire his wifes devotion to their children, playing with them even when heavily pregnant. The incredible and important job of being a mother is something that Optimus has learned and respected during his time on Earth, especially after witnessing it firsthand.

“I did, now could you help me get up off the floor?” She chuckles, a hand rubbing her pregnant stomach.

Optimus carefully steps over the toys to walk over to her. He offers his servo and she graciously took it, pulling her up off the floor. She huffs a little bit and tries to catch her breath, bent knees trying to brace the weight of her unborn child.

“Thank you, love.” She sighs, lightly tracing the servo that still held onto her hand, “You would think I’d learn from my previous pregnancy to not get on the floor.”

Optimus laughs softly, readjusting his daughter on his hip, “It is probably not the wisest decision.”

She laughs, reminiscing the memory of her stuck on the floor while she was pregnant with the triplets, and he can feel himself falling in love with her all over again. She is absolutely glowing, and Optimus can’t help but bask in her natural beauty. Leaning forward, he presses a chaste kiss to her lips, smiling through it as he hears their sparklings protest as most children do when they see their parent’s smooch, “Yucky, Daddy!”

 He pulls away from the kiss and brushes a servo across the tight skin of her stomach, feeling the little kicks of their soon-to-be newborn. Optimus doesn’t want to jinx anything yet, but he prays to Primus that it is another little girl.

She smiles and places her own hand on top of his, sharing the moment together. But Optimus does not notice that her smile faltered for a second.

“Optimus, you know that this can’t last forever.” His wife whispers quietly so that the sparkling he held can’t hear.

Optimus perks his helm up to look at her, confusion plastered on his face, his gentle caresses on her stomach halting for a moment, “What cannot last forever?”

She reaches a soft hand out to caress his faceplates, a small tear threatening to spill down her flushed cheeks. Despite being incredibly confused at his wife’s turn of behaviour, Optimus felt a need to comfort her and returns the gesture to wipe her own tears away.

“It’s not healthy for you… you need to wake up.”

Taking a step back, digits leave her face as he nearly trips on the carpet. The words that just left your lips made his spark sink to the floor. There was no way that Optimus was dreaming, he refused to believe, not when everything that has happened within the last few months felt so real and genuine. As quick as he felt his spark sink, the cosy home that surrounded his family began to crumble and disappear around him, falling into an endless cold void. The weight of his daughter on his hip was no longer there. The softness of his wife’s hand had disappeared. Optimus was left with nothing but the darkness of his empty mind. And at that point, Optimus felt his own optics lubricate and fall down into the void, the last echoes of his wife reaching his audial receptors.

“Optimus…”

“Optimus.”

“Optimus!”

Optics snap open, scanning the ceiling above him. In an instant, he sits up right on the berth below and vents heavily. He looks around carefully at his environment and realises that he is in his berthroom on the Autobot base, it feels lifeless.

“Hey, hey, take it easy.” A gentle yet firm voice reassures and pushes him back onto the berth, “I heard a distress signal from your internal instruments, is everything alright?”

Optimus recognises Ratchet, but the old bots words are drowned out by his processor running on overdrive. His wife, his sparklings, and his unborn little one are no-where to be found. Frantic optics flicker around every inch of the emptiness of his berthroom, hoping and wishing that they would be waiting just outside the room or hiding somewhere, playing that fun earth game called hide-and-seek that he enjoyed playing with his sparklings.

Ratchet notices the distant look in his friend’s optics and places a servo on his shoulder to try and ground him to the present, “Optimus, you’re fine, it seems as if you have just experienced a nightmare.”

His grip on the berth was hard. That was no nightmare. That was his life, a life that has now been taken away from him as a cruel punishment. All Optimus had ever wanted was right there in his grasp. He didn’t care about his friends, and he didn’t care about the Autobot cause anymore.

He just wants his family back.

“It was not.” Optimus whispers out, vocaliser stuttering. He knew Ratchet wouldn’t understand the monumental loss that he had just suffered, but Optimus could not deal with his old friend at this point in time. Just as Ratchet was about to question him, Optimus lets out a pained sob.

“Please…” He held his helm in his servos as lubricant began leaking from his optics once again, “Just leave me be.”

[our-aroace-experience]

i get really really mad when some of my closest friends assume that BECAUSE i'm aroace i dont want anything to do with sex and romance. My relationship with those things is that i dont enjoy when someone randomly starts talking about those things, but if im prepared for that conversation or feel like talking about it or whatever then its fine, and if i ask "what was that?" because i didnt hear something they laugh and say "you wouldnt like it" or "its not for you" like im a toddler. it pissed me off SO MUCH one time i stopped being able to move for like 15 minutes.

I get so annoyed when people treat me like im worse than them for being aroace.

treating aroaces like kids for having different opinions on romantic and sexual topics is one of the worst aspects of aphobia, in my opinion. i'm so sorry you had to deal with that, anon, and i hope you're able to find people who don't treat you as less for your identity.