#and instead u want us to do a whole show with no rehearsal???? and JUST told us this like less than a week beforehand????

[boysplanetrecaps]

Boys Planet Eps 9-10 Recap: Over Me

Hello, team BP! As you may know, I already wrote a recap/master post for episode 9, and another one for episode 10. This recap focuses just on the stuff that’s relevant to team Over Me -- their rehearsal period in episode 9 as well as their rehearsal footage and performance in episode 10. But you’ll have to get over the read more first. 

The Trainees

Here’s a list of the trainees in this group along with their rank as of episode 8 and their two previous missions:

Zhang Hao 2 / Kill This Love/ Tomboy Jay 12/ Love Me Right / Home Ricky 14/ Back Door /Rush Hour Chen Kuan Jui 22 / Kill This Love/ Butterfly Lee Jeong Hyeon 24 / Love Me Right / Gang

The First Rehearsal Segment

At 43:13 in Episode 9, we visit with team Over Me for about 4.5 minutes. 

The camera focuses on the Leader sticker on the floor, next to a bit of red fluff that must have come from those red fabric bands the boys are using in their dance. Looks like Yoon Jongwoo just took the sticker off and threw it, or dropped it, on the floor. 

Zhang Hao is saying, “It must’ve been really hard to be a leader of 10 people.” Already, there’s a lot to unpack there. They’re talking about Yoon Jongwoo, clearly. But saying it like that sounds like they’re excusing something about him, something negative about him. Right? Like the way that when the poor Supercharger group fell apart at the self-evaluation performance, the trainees said, “Oh, this choreography must be super hard.” You talk like that when you’re excusing something negative.

Remember how I said, when I talked about T h e  G r e a t  R e s h u f f l i n g  that I think they got rid of Jongwoo in part because they were just sick of him, and wanted Hao as the leader instead? I do think that happened. I think Jongwoo got stuck in a sort of negative headspace and people weren’t enjoying it. I think it was easier for Jongwoo to be the comeback kid than to be an actual contender. My take is that he’s climbed so high that now he’s scared to fall, and it’s making him act less friendly and warm than he used to. I could be wrong about all of this, of course.

That said, I think the PRIMARY reason they kicked out Jongwoo is that he was going to steal the show. As a result, the performance just won't be as good as it could have been. I feel sad about that. 

But as much of a bummer as it is, given the situation, I can’t blame Hao and the others for doing what they had to do to succeed. They didn’t create the situation; they just reacted to it. And I like Hao! I’ve liked him since the start of the show. 

The team nominates Hao to be the leader, and we’ve seen him do well as a leader in the past so it should go ok. After all, as he reminds us, he studied to be a music teacher and is “passionate about teaching others.” Aww, I get it, Hao. He promises to help everyone shine well on stage. Everyone but Keita and Yoon Jungwoo.

After electing Hao the leader, the team immediately also gives Hao the Killing Part. Lee Jungyeon gets to keep sub-vocal 2 that he wrote his own rap for, and as it turns out, he can also sing decently well (he’s a bit pitchy, but he has a nice tone and can probably work on it). We see almost nothing of Chen Kuan Jui this whole time, and he ends up with sub-vocal 4, so I guess Hao is taking sub-vocal 3 as well as the killing part. 

And Hao feels certain they’ll win first place. Well, I was pretty sure that whatever 5 random trainees ended up in this song, this would be the winning team, so there’s that. 

Again, we see absolutely nothing of them rehearsing. We didn’t see any of them rehearsing in episode 8, either. Is the show purposefully keeping the choreo a surprise until we see them actually doing it? 

Second Rehearsal Segment + Performance

Skip to 1:09:56 in episode 10 for the rest of the performance. 

So, I probably could have gotten this recap out sooner -- I was all up to date and I got most of all of this written -- but then I kind of stalled out because I just didn’t really want to talk about what happens with Over Me. It’s actually made me genuinely sad. My fella was like, you seem down, are you ok? And I had to be like, “I’m sad about what happened on my silly Korean reality show.” To his credit, he just listened and agreed with me a lot. 

What could it be? What could have made BPR-Noona so sad? Let’s back up to the beginning of the rehearsal footage! You’ll find out either soon, or next episode! Let me give you 30 minutes of random filler first! 

Oh no wait, I don’t work for MNET. I’ll get to the point fairly quickly. 

As the boys take the stage, the judges talk about how this is a sexy song, and how it’s difficult to  perform on stage.

We see that some people in the audience are holding up Lee Jong Hyeon signs so that’s good, because right now there are like, 5 or 6 really popular foreign trainees, so we’ll need to pump up any slightly viable Korean candidates to make sure to get them into top 9 to replace them foreigners!.... Sigh. 

They all introduce themselves, and the audience goes crazy. 

Back stage, Yoon Jong Woo graciously wishes them well. Also Park Hanbin is holding a tiny fan. There’s so much to love about this picture.

But soon we skip back in time…. 

We skip to a rehearsal with the judges -- they’re dancing in front of Solji and we see Solji look like this: 

She asks if they’re going to record like this, because their singing seems half hearted, almost like they’re embarrassed of how sexy the song is. Ricky says they haven’t been practicing the vocals, and we’re left wondering -- what is going wrong with their rehearsals? 

Because MNET is incapable of telling a story in order, we now do a flashback inside a flashback, because that’s confusing! 

We skip to the day before. The team is working on the “rotations”, which seems to be formation changes. It doesn’t seem to be going very well, and as they’re trying to fix mistakes, Zhang Hao wants to give every single suggestion a chance. It seems to be confusing and frustrating for everyone. In fact, Chen Kuan Jui ends up sitting out the hall, just needing a few minutes to himself to calm down. (Interestingly, CKJ and Zhang Hao speak Korean when they’re alone together; CKJ is from Taiwan, so his language is actually totally different from Zhang Hao’s, but it’s interesting that the language they choose is Korean.)

We see the team at dance rehearsal with one of the psychopath dance teachers. The choreographer of the piece is there, and she’s the woman who did the killing part in the demo -- I pretty much assumed that she was the choreographer, so good job me! They ask the team how Hao is doing as a leader, and they don’t say anything for a moment, so the psycho says, “Ah, I see,” and he’s kind of right. 

CKJ interviews that Zhang Hao isn't really doing a good job as a leader because they try every suggestion every time and maybe that’s not so great. Lee Jeong Hyeon says it was inefficient and Ricky says they still don’t know what to do. 

Hey maybe you shouldn’t have kicked out Yoon Jongwoo and Keita because things tend to work out better when they’re around 

The group rehearses their dance in front of psycho judge and they actually bump into each other and stuff. It’d be comical if the stakes weren’t so high. The psycho dance teacher is like, what the fuck? And for once I’m with him. They have no excuse. The choreographer doesn’t say a word the whole time (that we see). I think she’s kind of… over this. So to speak. 

Later on Solji meets with Zhang Hao, apparently at his request. (Can I request to meet with Solji? I just want to chat about like, singing and kpop and I don’t know, life? I like Solji.) He tells her that he’s just having trouble figuring out how to lead the team.

 She basically tells him worry less about everyone’s emotions, and to be more firm and more in control. 

Next day, Hao goes in early and rearranges the choreo himself. When the team comes in, he teaches the new rotations and they begin working on it. It seems to be working a lot better now. 

Later, we see them at the recording studio, which is something we haven’t seen with any other group. Ricky gets praised for his pronunciation (but not his  vocals in general, which I think also deserve praise) and Lee Jong Hyeon gets told he sounds really professional in both singing and rap. We don’t see Jay singing, because the show hates him. We barely even see him at all. 

Look at him tucked in a corner. Come on, Jay, push for yourself just a little, man! 

We skip forward and now it’s D-day. 

They come out and the stage is all draped in red fabric. 

To continue with your Korean reading skills, 팀 says "team", as in, the English word spelled in Korean letters. The thing that looks like a capital E is a T, the straight line is an i, and the square is an M.

Part of me wishes they’d just gone full tilt and decorated the stage with like, multiple beds. But I guess the gauze draped over pianos (?) was as close to that as they’d dare. 

There’s a cute moment backstage when Yoon Jongwoo tells Takuto to cover his eyes, and Takuto, possibly not knowing that they’re joking with him, says “I can watch sexy stuff too.” 

The performance begins. 

My take:

I’m sorry to be kind of negative in these reviews. I really think all 28 trainees are exhausted emotionally and physically at this point, just living off of adrenaline for three months, and it’s starting to catch up to them. And yeah, this performance wasn’t quite… quite.

Also, stylist noonas fucked over Jay. 

I have to mentioning the problem with his styling up top, because I think it’s at least PART of what went wrong in terms of the vote. He’s capable of looking so much better than this -- what happened here? They made his eyebrows too dark, I think? And the choker screws with his proportions in a really bad way. Plus his chest is so light -- he needed to have consistent coloring from his neck down to wherever you could see with the shirt open. I don’t know, this just is all wrong. I’m not a stylist so I don’t know how to fix it but I’d start by taking the choker off for sure.

As for the actual performances...

Did you ever watch the video for Love Talk by WayV? I might catch hell from N-Citizens for this but that doesn’t give me any sparkles in my pants. It’s more like I cringe so hard, I almost fold inward and disappear into subspace -- except when Ten is on screen. Ten’s the only one who seems completely at ease with the overtly sexy message of the song. (If you’re not familiar, Ten is the one on screen from 0:00 to 0:20, among other times.) Everyone else is trying to look sexy or “serious” or… IDK, undressed, whatever. But Ten, I buy. There’s a reason that SM gave him Birthday. Whether he specifically makes your pants sparkle, you have to acknowledge that he owns this concept. Most people simply do not.

It’s really, really difficult to sell sexy without seeming sleazy, or inappropriately aggressive, or even worse, sleepy. I think a lot of trainees think that just staring at the camera dead eyed is sexy but it’s really not. I don’t know WHAT it is, to be honest. I just know that Ten can do it, and Kai can do it, and Joohoney and IM from Monsta X can do it. 

On this team, Chen Kuan Jui can do it. CKJ was utterly fearless and completely, 100%, “in” the song. I don’t find CKJ sexually attractive in particular -- who knows why one does or doesn’t find a particular person sexy -- but his fancam is sexy AF. I wish we could see him more, that he wasn’t behind the other trainees. I wish it was basically just a CKJ dance solo. Heck, even my fella picked CKJ out as obviously the best dancer in this group, and when the song was over said, “I kept waiting for that one blonde guy (he meant CKJ) to do a dance solo and he never did.”

Ricky was really good too, of course. I still think he’s occasionally just a tiny bit stiff in his body, but in terms of confidence, comfort level with the song, and facial expressions, he does great. He knows how to smile in a sexy way -- I think that’s super important. And his vocals are also really good. He’s just sort of outclassed by CKJ, for me. Also, if you watch either of their fancams, it really looks like they’re in two different songs, so I wish the group had spent a bit more time figuring out what style of dancing they were going for.

If I was only allowed to vote for one person, though, I would have voted for Jay, because he’s the one who I would least want replaced by some other trainee for this performance. I think Jay’s vocals kind of make the song what it is. His dancing and performance commitment was absolutely up to par for a main vocal -- vocalists are given a bit of leeway in terms of dancing and he doesn’t even really need it, as far as I’m concerned.  

Lee Jeonghyeon did ok, I don’t know, I have nothing really good or bad to say. Sorry. He looked handsome. His rap sounded good for a rap, though I think I would have liked the song better without it. (I’m a big fan of letting kpop songs NOT have a rap break in them, sometimes.) All I can think is, the team kept him, and not Yoon Jungwoo? God, Jungwoo would have killed this. 

For me the biggest disappointment was Zhang Hao. I don’t know what it is, because I’ve liked him since the beginning, but this performance was just sort of… flat. I think he was too busy leading and he’s too tired and maybe a sexy performance just isn’t in his wheelhouse yet. I both believe and hope he can do better under better conditions, because I know he’s extremely talented, it’s just that for me, he didn’t do as well as I would have hoped. 

It’s not as if Lee Jeonghyeon or Zhang Hao did badly; they both did well. They just didn’t shine, to me, or put sparkles in my pants.

Afterwards

The judges are impressed. They have nice things to say about Jay -- kind of? LipJ thinks Jay should have toned it down. They say Lee Jeonghyeon was cool and very handsome and that Zhang Hao pulled off the sexy part well. But we hear nothing about Ricky or CKJ, even though the judges MUST have said something nice about them.  

So the boys go back stage to the folding chairs of doom to find out their numerical value, and then the awful thing happens.  

Jay came in last with 485 votes. 

Everyone is shocked. But Jay just nods. He says he expected it because no one was really cheering for him.

Look how sad and shocked everyone is.

And watching at home, I felt a little sick. What the fuck. What the fuck is wrong here. 

A vote that low is punitive, you guys. That’s what they do when they hate you, or when you are Takuto. Jay isn’t Takuto, so they must hate him. Why? What is going on? 

You know what? I don’t think I want to know. Jay’s vocals were so good. There was no reason for him to get such a low vote except that maybe people think he’s “ugly” (do they? IDK) or because he’s foreign or there’s some dumb social media drama or whatever. Maybe it’s because he’s too passive and it gives people the cringies? I don’t care. His vocals were great so shut up and press A. 

I do think, however, that all this doesn’t necessarily mean Jay is doomed. The audience that goes to see live performances are not necessarily a representative sample of the full Star Creator vote. Plus, I think as the dust settles around this performance, the injustice of Jay receiving such a ridiculously low approval score will become clearer and clearer, and people may switch their vote to Jay. All I know is that I’m going to be voting for Jay from now on, because this is some fucked up bullshit. I’m also going to try to give his fancam some views.  

Zhang Hao comes in first with 852 points, which ties Haruto. I don’t exactly agree; I think Ricky or CKJ should have come in first, but I get it, it’s fine. I don’t like, hate Hao or anything. I don’t think this was his finest moment but I actually think that no one has really had their finest moment in this go-round. 

Zhang Hao interviews, “It was harder than I thought. The killing part had so many parts, so my mind was all over the place. I was worried if I could take first place. But when I saw the results I felt proud.” Aw, that's good. You worked really hard, Hao.

And that’s the end of this recap, and the end of episode 9-10 analysis. Next up is an elimination episode with metric crap-tons of filler. I’m caught up  so I should be able to get a recap to that out pretty fast. 

See you all in the next one, and thanks as always for reading! 

[seraphiism]

hii kai!! sorry this isnt directly related to ur writing (which i could talk about forever btw. mwah.) but i remember a while ago you mentioning that u studied really hard for ur exams and felt that it paid off!! which is amazing!! i was just wondering, do u have any advice on how to study for such huge exams?? sorry for the random school-related ask, i understand if you dont want to answer!

kai (˃̣̣̥ᴖ˂̣̣̥)(˃̣̣̥ᴖ˂̣̣̥) just kidding just kidding, hello !! nothing to apologize for, i don't mind at all c: i like answering random questions. i'm not very good at explaining how i study but i hope this helps a little !! good luck w your studies!

always start early! it is better to have extra time rather than not enough time. typically i start 2-3 weeks before the exam date and have a set day that i start studying. before this day, i already have my notes typed and printed out

sort out your study material and make a timeline. before i start studying at all, i use a planner and try to divide my notes into sections. so today i'll study half a page, tmmr i'll do another half, etc. that way i can see my pacing as the days go by and make sure i can cover all the material by the exam date. i try to keep it realistic but i always make sure to give myself wiggle room in the event that i don't have enough time one day or i just need a little break and i study less :^)

this is how i format my notes ! i always retype the prof's powerpoints because i will format them a certain way to make it easier for me to learn. this is what mine normally look like! you will eventually figure out your own preference

so !! i literally just rewrite my notes until i learn them, which takes a while, but it has always worked ( granted i actually understand the material and do not rely entirely on memorization only ). for example, i will learn all of hypovolemia, make sure i know all the information listed under it by writing and rehearsing it out loud without looking at my notes. if i can do that, then i'll move onto dehydration and do the same. i'll continue the process until i learn that whole section, but then i'll do a quick review of everything, starting over from hypovolemia -- that way i know i'm retaining instead of just remembering for a quick moment. i also review it the next day to make sure i actually know it, too. that being said ! i review allll the time so when the test comes around, it's easy for me to remember. i will review old info constantly, so if it's been a few days since i learned fluid volume deficits and i can list everything without missing any details, then i will cross it out in pencil -- pencil means i know it pretty well, but just in case, let's review it later for the last time. i will come back to it either that night or the following day after i have learned a new section of my notes, and again-- if i know everything, then i'll cross it out in pen, meaning i 100% know it, no need to review anymore, don't focus on it. this makes it easier for me bc i can see what i've learned for sure, and if i don't know a certain part of it, then it's not crossed out at all! this lets me know what i need to focus on, and if it sticks out, then for some reason i remember it a lot more easily

if i have additional time, i print out another copy of my notes -- if i've learned everything by now and it's all crossed out in pen, then i'll do the exact same thing for this new copy. i'll use a flashcard or smth that covers up part of my notes, jump around the pages and find a random section and review it. i jump around so i know i haven't memorized disease processes and what-not by recalling the order of my notes, so it's rly haphazard and makes me have to kinda dig around for active recollection. this also shows me what i have forgotten and what i need to review again

youtube is always your best friend!! khanacademy is always a great resource, very thorough. if you are studying medical topics, osmosis is also super good. watching videos to reinforce your knowledge or to help you grasp a concept better is always always helpful. these channels like to draw explanations out as well, so if you're a visual learner, it may be beneficial

i recc practice questions as well, too! i personally do not do them very often now, but they can help identify weaknesses, especially if you are provided with rationale

other reccs: » forest : basically a timer on your phone. you can choose which plants to grow and if you exit the app for more than 10 seconds, your tree dies. it's rly cute and basically makes your phone untouchable for however long you choose. i think it costs a few dollars? but if you save up enough coins in the app, you can grow a tree irl the free version is flora, i believe! there is also a browser extension as well c: » pomodoro kitty : customizable pomodoro timer except it's got a cute cat and background you can customize. the cat meows when the timer is done btw, don't get scared like me when tht happens :3c. you can also mute it though i believe » lofi.co : lofi music !! but with an interactive background. you can toggle day/night and noises like rain, traffic, etc » i miss my library / i miss my cafe : ambient library and cafe noises

i hope this helps and it's not super confusing!! i always have trouble explaining how i review notes and what-not and it worries me tht it might seem complex but it's rly not :(. please let me know if you have more questions or smth !! always here to help

[ncghtshifts]

serves up. my second child on a silver platter. not as lovable bt thts ok........ lets all put on our horse blinders...........

◜     *     :     drew     starkey     .     demiman     &     they/he     .     pink     in     the     night     by     mitski     .     ━━     the     legend     surrounding     london’s     l’academiae     furorum     would     not     be     complete     without     ZEPHYR     CASIMIR     MONTANA     FOGELMAN     .     the     academy's     TWENTY     -     SEVEN     year     old     GUEST     ARTIST     has     been     with     furore     for     FIVE     MONTHS     ,     oft     described     as     VERBOSE     ,     VAINGLORIOUS     ,     IMPRUDENT     ,     BEGUILING     &     has     proved     utterly     indispensable     to     the     company.     in     passing     ,     they’ve     come     to     be     associated     with     CIGARETTES     YOU     SHOULDN'T     BE     SMOKING     ,     A     COCKTAIL     OF     BODY     SPRAYS     AND     COLOGNES     STOLEN     FROM     STRANGERS     -     WHOEVER     CAUGHT     YOUR     ATTENTION     THESE     LAST     FEW     DAYS     &     the     product     of     three     overbearing     parents     ,     as     spoiled     as     they     come     and     not     afraid     to     show     it     .     running     into     rehearsal     late     for     the     third     time     that     week     ,     lipstick     mark     staining     the     collar     of     your     shirt     -     effortless     in     everything     you     do     .     you     truly     believe     you     are     the     best     and     everyone     around     will     know     it     if     you     have     anything     to     do     with     it     .    whether     this     will     be     their     final     curtain     call     is     anyone's     guess     &     the     company’s     worst     nightmare  .

background

if u asked monty’s dads if they were psychics they wld say yes bc they cldnt imagine picking a better surrogate to carry monty, their birth mum was still a HUGE part of their life growing up n the family always did everything together - they each chose one of their names if the absolute absurdity of it wasn’t obvious

born in brisbane, australia, monty grew up WILDLY spoiled, got only the best dance teachers and was a part of the best ballet academy in australia

there was a lot of expectation put onto them, not that their parents weren’t rly supportive and loving bt its very . jackson from sex education feeling where if they wanted to spend a night to themselves their parents wld b like . :) i dont hear ur toes breaking, silly!!!!!!!!!!

eventually the pressure caught up to them when they become a principal dancer - cue natalie portman in black swan except naur nowhere near that bad ofc but they definitely got no sleep and their body was falling apart with the amount of work they were putting into it without fueling it properly

it just ended with a heated argument that monty attempted to turn violent but they literally just collapsed in on themselves and woke up 2 days later after finally catching up on all the sleep they’d been missing for eons to hear that they were demoted in the academy

ofc their dads paid off all directors involved to keep the whole incident quiet and monty immediately applied for guest artist positions to escape the australian academy (did not name it. n i shant. i am not creative enough fr tht)

after a few years monty got offers instead of applying themselves but they’re always paranoid that their past will catch up to them

details

this is monty’s 2nd season as a guest artist w the academy :yum:

still practices far too much to b considered healthy bt away from gazing eyes - has THE WORST attitude to them where they act like they’re jst naturally the best to get into the heads of other dancers when they’re just as bad

just has the most lackadaisical attitude to them, doesn’t want anyone to think they’re taking this too seriously

claims they can ‘see auras’ so they know who is and isn’t worth their time

mean to be mean but also if they like u will go above and beyond as a friend

believes if they were to b monogamous someone would b missing out. jst thinks the world of themselves frankly.

so so so dramatic

sleeps around fr funsies bt they also have. certain taste. will sneer at someone they don’t deem worthy of their time LKSHDGHSDGKLDG

connections

since they’ve been here a few months already n its their second season coming back to furorum perhaps friends from before??

bt also . ppl they have rubbed the wrong way on purpose or not

someone they used to date n broke their heart.............. side eyes them

or opposite someone they caught feelings fr n now? they avoid said person like the plague. literally pretend said ex isnt talking to them right in front of them

hook ups/dates gone wrong/etc.............

wtvr ur vibing with!!!!

[melisa-may-taylor72]

Record Mirror- 08-25-1984

Ministry Of Works

Did you know that Freddie Mercury wants to make a reggae record? And that Roger Taylor would be selling flowers if he wasn't in Queen? Read on for more fascinating facts

MAYHEM IN Munich! Freddie Mercury is cavorting with a scantily dressed transvestite and it's only three in the afternoon. Are you man or woman enough to read on? Then swallow your vitamin pills and follow me.

Queen are limbering up for their forthcoming tour in Germany and to celebrate another single rising majestically up the charts, they're holding a little press bash in Munich's P1 club. A place even more decadent than the South Finchley Whiskey A Go Go.

The ghost of Adolf Hitler probably wanders around here on dark nights, as The Fuhrer used to store his paintings and other plunder in the club and the building next door. Unfortunately there's nothing left around today.

Instead, the club has gems of another kind. A selection of Queen's videos including the notorious 'Body Language' — and champagne and wine flowing like Niagara Falls.

The cabaret is Freddie's own idea: a group of well passed it drag artists, so outrageous in G strings and lingerie that they make Divine seem as tame as Marjorie Proops. Freddie's more than willing to join in when one of the girls does a rendition of 'I Want To Break Free', but the rest of the members of Queen look on shyly from the comforts of the bar. Everybody, but everybody is here to witness the event, including a film crew from the US air force, tramping around in full combat gear making a nuisance of themselves.

Freddie's doing well considering he's in quite a lot of pain. He remains tight lipped about the full details but he injured his leg after an incident in a club. A physiotherapist has been pummelling at it nearly every day.

"This c+ + + kicked me," says Fred. "I'm hoping my knee will be ready in time for the tour, but it's still giving me a lot of trouble. It might mean I will have to cut down on some of my more elaborate gorgeous stage moves."

FRED'S ALSO been hobbling around a Munich recording studio putting the finishing touches to his first ever solo album which should be out in January. Gadzooks, could this be the start of a split with Queen? Is it true Limahl's going to take over?

"Not at all. I've wanted to do a solo album for a long time and the rest of the band have encouraged me to do it. Some of them are even featured doing a few bits and pieces to help me out.

"There are a lot of musical territories I wanted to explore, which I couldn't really do with Queen. I wanted to cover such things as reggae rhythms and I've done a couple of tracks with a symphony orchestra. It will have a very rich sound."

Fred's also done some work with Michael Jackson, but he still doesn't know when this is going to see the light of day. They've done a selection of tracks together in Michael's home studio. For a while, Fred was even in the running to do 'State Of Shock'.

"I was out of town at the time so Mick did it instead," he says. "I don't mind at all. I'd like to release something with Michael because he is a really marvellous person to work with. It's all a question of time because we never seem to be together at the right time. Just think, I could have been on 'Thriller'. Think of the royalties I've missed out on.

"Michael has been a friend of ours for a long time. He's been to our shows and enjoyed them. We make a great team."

One of Fred's songs 'Love Kills', is being used on the soundtrack of the reactivated 'Metropolis' film and he hopes to make a 20 minute video using four or five of his own songs.Freddie and all the members of Queen have a long standing appreciation of 'Metropolis', which originally came out in 1927. Their stage set, in the shape of a futuristic city, has been inspired by it.The lighting rig measures 74ft by 50ft and the original design was so heavy they had to change it because it was in danger of bringing theatre roofs down. What a way to go, crushed by your own equipment.

AFTER THE European tour. Queen will be taking the whole shebang down to South America, headlining a 10 day festival in Rio. The place they will be playing is an amphitheatre down by the sea that can seat 300,000 people a night. It all makes Castle Donington seem like just another night at the Marquee. A local radio station in Rio held a survey to see who the most popular bands were and then some local promoters went out and booked them for the extravaganza. Naturally, Queen came out top.

Queen will also be doing some shows in South Africa. This is more than just a little bit controversial. Especially with the memory of Nelson Mandela still very warm.

"We've thought about the morals of it a lot and it's something we've decided to do," says Brian May. "This band is not political, we are not out to make statements, we play to entertain anybody who comes to listen. The show will be in Botswana in front of a mixed audience."

The band wanted to play Russia but the authorities objected. This situation might change now though, considering that Iron Maiden have been let into Poland to wreak havoc. *

"The Russians still think we're very decadent," confides Roger Taylor. "We want to play China as well, and Korea. John and I spent a holiday in Korea and it's a fascinating place. They're finishing work on the Olympic stadium for the next games!

Perhaps the Ruskies heard about Roger's high living on Ibiza. He's bought a house there and enjoys powerboat racing. Play time is over for the time being, though. After their two year break. Queen have been working more than 12 hours a day rehearsing.

"It's strange how rusty we are, and so we're trying to blow the cobwebs away," continues Roger. "It's taking a lot of work. Usually we rehearse until about nine and then we eat together and decide what we're going to do in the evenings. The clubs here are really fun. Something to cater for every taste or perversion.

"On the tour we'll be playing a lot of the old material and we'll be giving the audience what they want. A lot of the music I hear in the charts today doesn't interest me. I just can't see how anybody can get excited over Spandau Ballet. It doesn't send shivers up my spine. I like listening to Bruce Springsteen."

They might be old stagers, but Roger claims that tickets for Queen's British shows sold oul in three hours flat and they could have easily played another 12 nights here.

"We still have the rock and roil gypsy mentality," he says. "Even after 12 years without a line-up change we still really enjoy the buzz from playing live and the fact that we have hit singles. Some bands in our position might take it all in their stride, but we're still like kids, we get very excited.

"You've got to have a laugh haven't you? If Queen wasn't any fun, then I'd jack it all in and go and sell flowers."

Robin Smith

@natromanxoff, @mephisto92, @moviestorian, @x5vale, @39-brian, @onegoldenglance, @crosmopolitan, @an-abyss-called-life, @his-majesty-king-mercury, @i-live-for-queen, @brian-39-may, @toomuchlove-willkillyou, @brimaymay, @sail-away-sweet-sister, @drummerqueenrmt, @old-fashioned-roger-boy, @briianmaay, @inui-mycroft, @deacytits, @iminlovewithrogscar, @drowseoftaylor, @brianmayislongaway, @balticlover, @astrophysicist-guitar-god, @miez-lakatz, @brianmayoucease, @jesus-in-a-life-boat, @aslongasthereismusic, @silapril, @sherrifanciesfriskyfreddie, @tenderbri, @brianmydear, @thosequeenboys, @millionairewaltz-carpediem, @painandpleasure86, @bribrifrenchfry, @xlucylennonx, @a-night-at-the-abbey-road, @inthedayswhenlandswerefew, @madformeddowstaylor, @queenrogertaylorfan, @let-roger-get-a-lunch, @queen-for-life, @rethought, @drivenbybrianmay @mymakeupmaybeflaking, @old-but-still-a-child, @let-roger-get-a-lunch, @warriorteam1924, @funnydressesweirdhairanddance,  @thefanhuman13, @yourtieddownmother, @hgmercury39, @brimi-stardust, @thefairyfellermercury,  @sailawaysweetbrimi, @sophiaintheskywithdiamonds, @holybrianmaywritingbear, @lydiannode, @39-yellow-daffodils , @ure-gonna-loveme-when-u-seeme, @kaykaybeachgirl, @foxmonkey, @deakysgurl, @redspecialandclogsandcurls, @briansrainbowsocks-deactivated2, @delilahmay39, @ohmybribri, @bless-the-queen, @everythingaboutfreddie, @doitforthevine67, @recordsoftheseventies, @rhysjoejoshtomfarisblog, @tenementfunsterwithpurpleshoes, @drummah-in-a-rocknroll-band, @beatlegirl1968, @maylorsqueen, @autumnscenemcyt, @gralto, @alittlepeoplemagic, @rainbowsockbrian, @frejudy, @drivenbybrimay, @yourlocalmusicalprostitute, @saik-ava, @omb-xx, @sassymaylor, @somekindofroger, @starlightmay, @freddiemercuryismylife, @sunshine112, @chrysochromulina, @glitteryloveravenue, @deakyislife51, @0-primejive-0, @just-a-skinny-lad, @bluewillowmom, @sassiesillie, @stesichoreanpalinode, @mrfahrenheitmercury @tayloredofqueen, @0-my-fairy-queen-0, @scandalacious @izzy-is-slightly-mad @39-volunteers-to-space  @zodiacaldust, @deakytaylor, @queenband70s, @deakyeveryday, @drivenbybrimay, @70smay, @brianharoldmay39, @everybandsnotqueen, @johns-diqi  @oneandthreeseventh

[blu-joons]

DATING A⇴Z HEADCANON ⇴ Kim Hyojong

A ⇴ AFFECTION

Hyojong is incredibly soft around you, he loves to be able to cuddle up to you and often uses his affection to make sure that you feel loved as that’s his number one priority. His affection will always be close and meaningful with you.

B ⇴ BEFORE DATING

The two of you met when you were working at the studio that he was rehearsing at. You weren’t quite sure what it was about you both, but the two of you just instantly seemed to click. You spent the whole day chatting away to each other and getting to know each other, finding out about all the things that you had in common with each other.

C ⇴ CONFESSION

It didn’t take too long for Hyojong to confess to you, he enjoyed your company, and there was no way that he was going to risk losing you to someone else first. He confessed one evening when the two of you went out for a walk, he sat you down on a bench halfway through your walk, taking a tight hold of your hand as he tried his hardest to remain calm and tell you everything that he wanted to say to you.

D ⇴ DATES

Hyojong always made time for you, at least once a week the two of you would have a whole evening where you’d just be with each other, with your phones switched off. He knew he was busy a lot, so he’d make up for plenty of lost time with your dates. He would make sure that every date the two of you had was special and made sure that it was something you’d remember. He much preferred your dates to be quiet and relaxed then anything too overwhelming, his main focus was just being able to talk to you.

E ⇴ EXPERIENCE

He didn’t care what anyone thought about the fact that he was in a relationship, he wanted to put his own happiness first, regardless of what anyone else thought. He knew what he had to do in order to go about things in the right way, having learnt from previous experiences, but if anyone was to tell him no, then he’d definitely go ahead and do the complete opposite. He was his own person, he didn’t need his company to tell him what he could or couldn’t do, his career would always be important to him, but so was love.

F ⇴ FIGHTING

The two of you didn’t tend to fight often, but if you did, it would usually end in something pretty big. The two of you were stubborn, and firmly believed that you were right in any disagreement that the two of you had. It would usually take for one of your friends to nudge the two of you back together and encourage you to talk things through. As much as you hated to fight with each other, you both knew that arguments were natural in relationships and that no one expected to live your lives always on the best of terms. Eventually, the two of you would always talk things through and carry on like nothing ever happened.

G ⇴ GETTING TO KNOW HIS FAMILY

To begin with, Hyojong’s family were quite protective, it took a couple of visits for them to really warm to you. It certainly made you nervous for a while, but as you gradually began to feel that you were accepted as a part of his family, it definitely made life easier for you, and put you in a much happier position with Hyojong.

H ⇴ HOME

Hyojong didn’t want to rush your relationship, he wanted to work at a pace that was comfortable for you both, but as he began to work a lot more, he was keen to move you in after a few months so that he could spend more time with you. He didn’t want to wait for days to see you anymore, he wanted to see you when he got home instead.

I ⇴ “I LOVE YOU”

He was the first one to say, ‘I love you,’ when you surprised him at a concert. He hadn’t seen you for a couple of weeks because he was working so hard, so when you had the chance to head over and see him, you took it in an instance. He didn’t have time to think when he saw your face for the first time, he just found himself letting you know that he loved you.

J ⇴ JEALOUSY

Around other people is often when Hyojong will feel most insecure. He knows that others think of him as a bit of a unique character, so when someone else tries to compare themselves to him, he’ll often shrink back into his shell. Just the feeling of your hand holding onto him will usually be enough to convince him that he has no reason to get jealous, but for the rest of the night he’ll definitely be a bit off the ball until the two of you can finally leave and he can go back to being in a more comfortable environment.

K ⇴ KIDS

Starting a family was a huge deal to Hyojong, he wanted to complete that family dynamic whenever the time was right for the two of you. You knew at the start of your relationship that his career was the priority, but as your relationship became more serious, that focus tended to shift more to trying to find a balance of making his career work, but also looking towards a future with you, preferably with children too.

L ⇴ LAUGHTER

You loved the many quirks that Hyojong had, he was unique, which was what you loved the most about him. There was never a day when he didn’t make you laugh, even if he was busy at work, he’d send you a dodgy selfie or send you a silly joke that he knew would put the smile on his face. He didn’t care how much of a fool he looked around you, if it was enough to make you laugh, then it was good enough for him. You would never not find yourself smiling around him, you just couldn’t help but enjoy Hyojong’s company.

M ⇴ MISSING

Now that he was travelling alone, Hyojong was more desperate to have you with him than ever. He’d try and work his schedules around you too so that you could take along and he could show you a bit more of the world. If you weren’t there, touring and promoting would feel very lonely for Hyojong. Not having you by his side was hard for him, especially if time zones meant that he wouldn’t be able to call you every day or receive a text from you. Whenever he came home from tour, he didn’t let you go for a very long time, he knew he had a lot of time to make up for, and despite your protests, he’d refuse to let you go.

N ⇴ NICKNAMES

When you first started dating, Hyojong mentioned to you how he loved when you called him ‘jongie,’ so that was what stuck for you both. Any time he heard you say it, it was a guarantee that his cheeks would turn bright red.

O ⇴ OBSESSION

Hyojong is obsessed with your heart, he loves what a pure and kind person you are, it’s the exact type of person a personality like his needs.

P ⇴ PDA

Whilst he’s not over the top with his affection, Hyojong isn’t afraid to be affectionate with you in public. When he tells you that he doesn’t care what other people think, he means it, if he wants to show you off and hold you close to him, then he will. He never fusses or lets other people’s stares bother him.

Q ⇴ QUESTIONS

He’ll ask you a lot of questions, as he loves to strike up conversation with you. A lot of his questions are random, but that’s something that you’ve come to expect over the years, you never quite know what he’ll say.

R ⇴ RANDOM FACTS

Whenever he’s away on tour, Hyojong will carry a bracelet with him and wear it for his shows. It fits in well with the other bands around his wrist, but when you see it on his wrist, you know that he’s wearing it because of you. In interviews or segments, he’ll often fiddle with the bracelet to make a point of making sure that the camera focuses on it so you can see that he’s playing with the bracelet especially for you.

S ⇴ SEX

He’s incredibly soft when it comes to intimacy, he loves to make sure that you feel loved and special around him. Out of the two of you, he’ll tend to be the one that dominates a little more, he still likes to be the man and be the one to put in all the hard work, but if you mention to him that you want to switch, then he definitely won’t turn you down. Ultimately, all Hyojong ever wants is for you to be happy with him.

T ⇴ TEXTS

Texting is not something Hyojong is a fan of, if he wants to get in contact with you, he’ll usually call, just so he can see your face. Even if it’s only for a couple of minutes, just being able to see your face is a huge relief for him.

U ⇴ UNIVERSE

There were many times when Hyojong was left feeling pretty misunderstood or like an outsider, but around you, he really knew that he could be himself. You made him feel safe and protected, which was all he ever wanted.

V ⇴ VACATION

Hyojong loves the fact that he’s the one who can show you the world, he loves to take you to new places and give you as many new opportunities as possible. Even if it’s just a quick stop on a tour or for a promo, he’ll make sure to show you around so that you can explore and open your eyes to a whole new world.

W ⇴ WHINING

If he doesn’t have your attention, there are definitely times when Hyojong can get quite loud to make sure that you know he’s in the room and wants you.

X ⇴ XXXXX

He’s incredibly affectionate, and with that, he loves to kiss you. His kisses vary a lot, sometimes it will just be a light peck on the cheek, other times he’ll love to tease you, either by allowing his lips to linger against your skin or nibble gently against your skin. The feeling of you squirming as he presses his lips to you is exactly the reaction that Hyojong craves, all he wants is for you to be on your toes when he’s around.

Y ⇴ YOU

You were the one that understood exactly who Hyojong was, which he loved.

Z ⇴ ZZZ

When you slept, it became a bit of a habit for you to start tracing Hyojong’s tattoos. He loved feeling your hands dance along his skin, often coming up with new designs too against whatever exposed skin you could find.

---

Masterlist

[organic-guacamole]

showtime

episode 211 let's go

ok first of all, this is the second to last episode guys... I don't even wanna think about how much pain I'll be in after next week's episode

mr mazzara doing the recap-

this is so weird to me and I don't know why

WHY DIDN'T YALL JUST ASK BENJAMIN FOR HELP, THATS LITERALLY HIS THING

is Nini giving out the cards a callback to season 1 when Natalie Bagley said that Nini gave her a card or something on opening night of another musical?

STEPHY AS THE ENCHANTRESS OMG YES

Ricky in the crown gives me Harry styles in that photoshoot vibes

he's so pretty.

ok but why did we never see Ricky and Ashlyn interact before? it's been like 5 seconds and I already love how they bounce off each other and it's just so natural

OH THEY REALLY DON'T HAVE ANY UNDERSTUDIES-

well that explains a lot...

so Ricky fell on top of Ashlyn and all that broke for both of them was their wrist-

insert Jake Peralta *coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool no doubt no doubt no doubt*

of course howie was amazing as the beast, were we expecting anything less??

Ricky is so beautiful and I will not shut up about it....

let me enjoy this before the makeup crew slaps mud on his face.

Nini and Ricky talking to eachother? in a civil manner? wasn't she avoiding him just in the last episode? hm ok

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH THEY CANT EXPRESS THEIR FEELINGS JUST LIKE ME HAHAHAHAHA THIS IS HILARIOUS, WHATS NEXT? THEY CUT EVERYONE OFF CUZ THEY CANT HANDLE EMOTIONS? ...ha

yes Kaden and Rico, my favourite east high boys 🥰

I mean....where's EJ?

THERE HE IS

EJ AND GINA IN THE BACKGROUND... doing something idek

KOURTNEY'S MOM IS BACK YAY

Howie is a shining star, ofc ofc

the smallest fOrk

can't wait to see the fork burst into song about how she deserves more than to be used to eat salad😌

the duster and the bluster.... ok😃

hi Gina!

hi- oh wow I didn't know Robbie Rotten was in this show!!!!!

the portwell look.

that my friends, is a married couple's look✋

GOSH EJ WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOU

aww Gina's so excited for this

D word?

Die?

Delicious?

Dom Toretto?

"good, clean fun all alone with someone I dig...a lot"

sir that does not sound very clean to me

SEBLOS

Seb looks so cute standing there next to pope Carlos

DID THEYEY REALLY LIGHT ANTOINE ON FIRE-

I NEED TO SEE THAT

Seb's reading Carlos better than big red read the script in episode 102, this is great development after the "fight"

Kourtney really just made the best outfit for herself and let the rest of them suffer

the way Gina immediately goes to hold on to EJ after the announcement

"tonight we're going to put the U in UTAH"

...

"hey where are you from?"

"TAH"

SEB'S SINGULAR CLAP KILLED ME-

he's officially salt lake city's resident thanos

just wity clapping because for some reason I have a feeling he doesn't know how to snap his fingers...don't ask why

Ms Jenn do you mind encouraging your leads before the show? idk just an idea

pepto bismol product placement smhsmh

those flowers are bigger that big red himself-

*bops along to the opening theme*

that whistle at the end slaps everytime

WHY IS THE AUDIENCE SO MASSIVE

I guess they're all here to see Ms Jenn go on as a fork after Nini decides to *go her own way*

wow i am so funny

so they couldn't do many group scenes cuz of covid, but this 300 person crowd is cool? nice

OO THE VIOLIN GIRL FROM EPISODE 6 IS IN THE ORCHESTRA

HOWIEEEEEE

"Mr Caswell", he said, in the loudest voice possible while backstage at a show that's about to start.

Mazzara what are you trying to pull-

I usually like Benjamin but I don't like his tone

"iS yOuR wHoLe FaMiLy HeRe?" LIKE YOU DON'T ALREADY KNOW THATS A SOFT SPOT FOR EJ

"we've had some good conversations these past few weeks"

right so what's going to happen after you graduate?

what does he think of you not going to Duke?

what did he say about you giving the sweatshirt that's been in the family for 3 generations to a girl you're not even dating?

good old Mr. M

therapist Mr. Mazzara, they all need it.

start with Ricky though.

"Michael Bowen"

dude why did you shave, now you look less like "hot lumberjack" and more "creep at the gas station"

OH-

does she not like Mike anymore?

why does it sound like jennzzara started dating and now they just sit back and talk smack about everyone in their freetime

break the fourth wall-

uhhhh im scared

why am I scared

he's scary

hehe flowers for Ricky, obviously for Ricky, ObViOuSLY

oh boy poor Michael

this man is in love, rip

why does Ms Jenn always look at people with her eyes open so wide

LILYYYY

I'm only excited because I really like the idea of lily and Ricky being friends, nothing more.

ha this guy's got jokes

a MOAT AROUND THE SCHOOL

wheeze

also he's very pretty.

"the wolves and very talented humans"

how dare he forget to mention the very talented wolves and normal humans, smh erasure

"being nice, what a concept" ted talk by Lily who still doesn't have a last name

did she just say lol out loud

same with the hug emoji last episode-

go touch some grass babes

the way he didn't say no, but said he didn't know how the east high kids would react-

not saying he does want to date her but that's an interesting thing to think about, also another thing to write an essay analysis on just to leave it in my drafts for a few months

awww lily genuinely trying to help him

sorry guys, I've been taken by the Lily charm (didn't know it existed until now but oh well)

REMEMBER WHEN I SAID I'LL NEVER SHIP PORTWELL?

just look at me now

the Lily wink I can't she's so cute-

HELP ME I'M BEING HELD HOSTAGE BY LIL-

David Attenborough?

oh nvm it's Benjamin narrating the show in a really weird British accent for some reason.

STEPHY GOT MORE LINES YAY GOOD FOR HER

also is this to show that Nini doesn't care about being the star of the show anymore? the way she's supporting everyone else even though she's a fork?

I would pay for a special of the full musical ngl

OOO THE TRANSFORMATION WAS SMOOTH

shockingly

yo where did the makeup come from

man I wish I was a theatre kid

THIS IS STEPHY'S EPISODE NOW IDC✋

my girl is starring

"needs an X-factor"

Simon Cowbell creeps in

"it's a yes from me"

and them boom, he takes Nini and mistreats her horribly and then she comes back to theatre after deciding music isn't for her👍

"I thought she just hog-tied him?"

don't ask sebby, it's better if you don't know.

imagine they spotlight the wrong person and this dude is just some random person that likes writing down stuff during shows.

Ms Jenn just let them do what they rehearsed (at some point we never saw) or else this is gonna end horribly wrong

"help"

same Carlos, same

I love how seb is just his translator rn

I thought he said "great displeasure" instead of "greatest pleasure"....help?

big red coming out from throwing up to see his girlfriend star is the cutest thing in this show.

Ash and Gina dancing is so fun

I'm imagining them practicing at night at their home, watching the movie for the 100th time and making sure their one dance together is perfect

KOURTNEY YES

HOWIE IS IN LOVE AHHHH

I LOVE HOWIE SO MUCH

SEBBY

THIS SCENE HAS SO MUCH GOING ON I CAN'T KEEP UP

THIS IS SO GOOD

HOW???

no because I'm actually crying

I'm dead serious.

we need this musical released as a special

big red is so proud and I love to see it

Natalie: "if you do not by at least 20 dollars in concessions, you do not support art"

rando in the audience: "but I pay for ad free Spotify"

Mr Mazzara clapping in the distance

Gigi, the guy you like is talking to you, complimenting you and hyping you up

YOU LUCKY LITTLE FEATHER DUSTER

aw EJ teasing her about the chocolates in a way that doesn't make her feel bad? take notes Richard

JORDAN FISHER

there is no rest of the show idc Jordan is it for me

THE WIG CAP ON RICKY OMG

they look like they're high and having "deep" conversations on the floor

THE MEAN GIRL WITH THE EYES-

@sunshine-julie-molina YOU HEAR THAT

Natalie really just be coming for them all

Howie what is happening rn

I'm scared

"did you enjoy it"

"very much"

dude wants a kiss so bad

ASHLYN OMG

NO DON'T DO IT BECAUSE OF LILY, PUT YOUR OWN TWIST ON IT

I want a Jordan autograph please

just keep swim- oh pushing...

Gina is literally a giant next to him and I live for it

am I about to cry for the 3rd time in this episode?

yes.

Ricky's leg kicks under the table makes me so happy aw

the portwell glances will kill me.

ah yes, mashed potato snow

Mr. M.... I'm not a theatre kid but even I know you can't have your phone on backstage.

Howie please just do it

CHIP'S BIG LINE I CANT

I LITERALLY HAD TO PAUSE IT AMD SCREAM INTO MY MASK FOR A SOLID 2 MINUTES (I'm not at home rn) HES SO CUTE

oh ok bye Jordan

oo tea

NOT HIM BEING STARSTRUCK BECAUSE HE'S MEETING HIS FUTURE BROTHER IN LAW-

"we're all just glad Gigi has a big brother figure in her life"

excuse me for a few thousand hours while I laugh hysterically

THE CAMERA ZOOM ON EJS FACE AND EVERYTHING-

STOP EJ LOOKS LIKE HE'S GONNA CRY BUT I CAN'T TAKE HIM SERIOUSLY WITH THE STAGE MAKE-UP

someone else said this already but I think it's hilarious that they had to bring in 2 guest characters to create some portwell angst

omg this really is Cici's episode, found family is their thing

elevator music lol

I'm gonna bet that big red took the harness for his surprise for Ashlyn without realising what it was

did Ms. Jenn just....tell her most mentally unstable student....to commit suicide....on a disney show...was that....I'm very....well....what the actual-

oh and there she goes running off instead of trying to make it right

oh wow Nini's the hero, she's gonna save the show 🤩

😐

the judge is doing a sudoku

honestly if I went to the hsm show as well, I'd come prepared for this one too

Lily why are you looking like that-

I WAS JUST STARTING TO LIKE YOU DON'T MESS THIS UP

wow ok, there goes that.

omg

what if Howie was acting weird because he knew what Lily did and wanted to tell Kourtbut Lily threatened him so he was scared to-

anyways see y'all clowns next week when we all simultaneously lose all motivation for the week without Fridays to look forward to.

[nsheetee]

hi, can i request making out with chenle? thank u ❤❤

a/n: this is pretty suggestive in a lot of different ways, but doesn’t go past making out! I hope you like it anon because I like you for requesting this :)

making out with chenle didn’t happen that often

but when it did, you savored every second of it

like today, when he came over to your place after rehearsal

you order some food, laid around the living room for a while until it got late enough that chenle decided he would just stay the night, not that you’re complaining

despite all the opportunities he had earlier, he decides to come up behind you when you’re at the sink brushing your teeth

his arms wrap around your middle, fingers sliding underneath your pajama shirt and rubbing your tummy, squeezing your waist, and pulling your back into his chest

his lips attach to your neck for a brief second, they’re soft and light on your skin

“chenle” you warn with your toothbrush still in your mouth

“just keeping doing what you need to do,” he mumbles, eyes fluttering shut after pressing some more kisses in the same area, moving your hair away to get better access

you break away from him to spit out the toothpaste in your mouth, using mouthwash to get rid of the leftover

chenle takes the opportunity for his hands to wander out from under your shirt and into your waistband, teasing the hem of your panties

you flinch, not expecting him to go so far and he squeaks out a laugh, moving away from you when you wet your fingers under the sink and flick water droplets at him

“don’t be like that! you love me.”

“right now, I'm not so sure.” you tease, turning back to the sink and using a hand towel to wipe up the wet mess made during your playful splashing

chenle resumes his position quickly, his colds hands finding their way into your shirt again to warm them up, this time wandering higher up your torso than before

you sigh in defeat, dropping the towel and leaning your head back to watch chenle in the reflection of the mirror

despite him hanging his head into your shoulder, you see his lips stretch in a smile when he realizes you don’t have a bra on

he runs his fingers over your hardening nipples and gently tugs at them, making you close your eyes and turn your head into him

your whole body follows, and now you’re facing your boyfriend

his hands are still in your pajama shirt, now resting on your back as he presses you to him

“chenle,” you whine quietly, hoping the look in your eyes is enough for him to know what you want

“hmm?” he plays dumb and your eyes roll, fingers coming up to tangle in the fabric of his shirt

“please, do something.”

“like what? use your words, or else I don’t know what you want from me.” he states it as if he has absolutely no clue what you could want from him after he teased you like that

“I want you too...” you trail off, deciding to show instead of tell

you lean forward and press your lips to his, so close together that your noses scrunch against each other 

chenle is unresponsive and you let out an annoyed noise that makes him giggle

“I want you to kiss me, chenle.” you frown, now pulled away from him

he can’t resist your pout or how bothered you look, and he uses his strength to push you gently into the counter

“I'll do more than that, baby.”

finally, his lips meet yours, with purpose this time

chenle doesn’t waste away another second, kissing you with enough fervor to open your mouth and slide his tongue in

you happily oblige, letting out a content sound when he takes control

one of his hands is flat on the counter to keep balance, the other arm is wrapped around your waist to keep you pressed against him

something about the excitement in his touch and his kiss keeps you riled up

you tug at his shirt, the hair at the back of his head, your nails lightly scratch his shoulders

you want to do anything to urge him to keep going

soon, chenle helps you take a small leap up onto the counter, grabbing the underside of your thigh to pull your hips closer to his

“take it back.” he says, not allowing your lips to meet until you answer him

“huh?” you mumble, too high on the feeling of his lips on yours that you can’t remember what you were talking about earlier

“about saying you’re not sure you love me.” 

chenle and you both know that it was a joke

but you know he just wants to hear the words come out of your mouth

you don’t mind telling him those three words

it’s the truth after all

“I...” you kiss his nose

“love...” you kiss for forehead

“you...” you press a quick kiss to his lips, “happy?”

“yes. I can’t think of words to describe how happy you make me.” you smile at him, grabbing the collar of his shirt and pulling him to your chest

“I don’t need words, just kiss me already.”

[matsufucker]

Uhh, Sorry for the boring ask,so-- First Date with matsunos?

NON NON my sweet anon, the first request was a delight to answer, I had a lot of fun looking up playlists and seeing what would fit the matsubros! I apologize for being a lame square that is too shy to sing lol. I may or may not be trying to develop an Oso playlist as we speak. :3c

I got a bit carried away, these were supposed to be a list of headcanons but it’s a weird bullet list scenario.

I also gave all of the matsus their own phone, I don’t want to write six adults sharing one cell phone or a landline. Q Q

Osomatsu: spur of the moment and casual.

Osomatsu liked to ask you to hang out occasionally, they were mostly casual. Sharing a meal, exploring the town, watching him lose money gambling, maybe try your hand at pachinko, pretty normal things. So it wasn’t unexpected when he shot you a message to hang out in the evening.

“hey i won at the races! do u wanna eat at chibitas? ill pay for my own food” How charming.

After some light drinking (he could only afford two beers), the two of you were walking a bit before parting ways.

You walked by a small movie theater. It had faded out posters of old movies, it was probably family run or a small local theater. Osomatsu stopped and pointed at the Jackass poster.

“Oi, Y/N!! I saw some clips of this, it looks hilarious! We should watch it!”

You declined, it was getting late and you had to go to work early tomorrow. But you offered to watch a movie (Jackass or some other movie that they’re showing!) after your shift. Osomatsu’s eyes lit up.

“Yeah! Just let me know when you’re off! It’s a date!”

You had to try to not laugh. Of course Osomatsu would want to watch Jackass as a date, the least romantic movie ever. He smiled his classic grin as he watched you try to contain your laughter. “What? I’m serious!” he pouts.

You were surprised when Osomatsu showed up to the movie dressed differently. Instead wearing one of his well-worn hoodies and loose jeans, he was wearing an unbuttoned maroon shirt over a plain white tee with black jeans. He really was serious about this being a date, huh?

“I haven’t seen this outfit before!” you tease, causing Osomatsu to “eheh” sheepishly and rub his nose. He’ll reply with “I wanted to look nice for our first date!”

He’ll?? Actually pay for both of your tickets? No snacks though.

He won’t shut up during the previews! He babbles and comments on everything, good thing that it wasn’t busy and that the only other people there shushed him gently. He’ll whisper commentary throughout the movie unless you tell him to shut up.

Will 100% bump his hand against yours and side eye you with a big grin. His hand fumbles a bit before properly lacing his fingers with yours and giving an experimental squeeze. His hands are warm and softer than you expected. The backs of his hands are a bit dry, but otherwise the only notable thing is the slight clamminess of his palms. If you look at his face, his eyes are glued to the sight of you holding his hand and his smile looks like it could split his face in half.

If you lean your head against his shoulder, he’ll freeze up and accidentally grip your hand too hard. If you interpret this as a bad reaction, he’ll hurriedly say “nonono” and place your head back against him and tell you that it was really nice.

Surprisingly keeps his hands mostly to himself, the most he’ll go is wrapping a hand around your shoulder and giving rubs that are a bit too friendly.

You two walk out of the movie with Osomatsu’s arm draped around your shoulder and wanting to just touch you, you have to remind him that walking on top of you and feeling you up is not practical, especially in public. He’ll pout and say that “but you smell so nice!! And you feel so comfy!!” but he’ll relax and be content to walk hand in hand.

The two of you stop by a cheap place to grab some ice cream (if you pay) and talk about the movie and future plans? :3c

Karamatsu: dramatic king.

“Are you free tonight, starlight? ✨ Meet me at the bridge at sunset.” You smiled at the message, you were already used to his cheesy terms of endearment, and they actually made your heart thump a bit if they weren’t too ridiculous. You reply yes, appreciating that he remembered that you had a few days off work. He was always thoughtful and asked you when your free days were.

You go to the bridge a bit early, the sun was still over the horizon and bleeding gorgeous shades of orange and rose into the sky. You notice Karamatsu wearing his classic leather jacket and jeans pacing around. He was muttering to himself, waving grand gestures, and shaking his head nervously. You call his name and catch his attention. He squacks a high note before clearing his throat and turning dramatically towards you.

“Ah, so you’ve arrived, my turtledove!” he flicks a finger through his hair and smirks. Mostly unphased by his theatrics, you waved and greeted him, apologizing for startling him. 

He whips out a bouquet of red roses and kneels at your feet. People are stopping and staring. You sweat a bit, feeling everyone’s eyes burn into you.

“Karamatsu,” you whisper, “what’s happening?” You tried to sound gentle, you could tell that he went through a lot of effort, but feeling onlookers watch you was making your skin crawl.

“Y/N, my muse, the fire within my heart, I was wondering if you would join me on a da-“ He stops midflourish, noticing your uncomfortable glances at the people, before realizing that he was making a huge scene. He quickly stands up to bashfully escort you to a less crowded bench. He’s fidgeting and focused on the bouquet, are his eyes watering? Oh no.

He’s trying to hold back tears at putting you in an uncomfortable situation and it takes a bit of backrubbing and “it’s okay” before he calms down. He hides his red rimmed eyes under sunglasses. You gently ask why he asked you to come here.

Karamatsu “hmphs!” weakly flourishes the roses once more. “I wanted to see if this lovely deity would join me for a moonlit picnic by the river!” His words carry far more conviction than the roses, they were trembling softly in his grasp. You accept the roses, they’re gorgeous and look freshly picked. Either Karamatsu paid a pretty penny for these or some poor gardener is missing a dozen roses.

He leads you to a quiet spot under a tree where a picnic basket awaits. He smiles and holds his hand out for you to hold. His grip trembles a bit before gripping your hand securely. He makes sure to check if the blanket is clean before guiding you to sit down.

There are containers of star-shaped rice balls, tamagoyaki, kaarage, and strawberries in the basket, along with store bought bottles of tea. You’re amazed at the whole spread, as far as you know, Karamatsu is a mediocre cook. The rolled eggs looked a bit misshapen and some corners of the chicken were nearing burnt, but it all looked wonderful. You ask if he went through the trouble of making all of this.

“Heh, of course, I would do anything to make my Karamatsu darling smile,” you can’t help but giggle softly at his horrid lines. Your sweet laugh only seems to egg him on, for his eyes glimmer and the corners of his lips rise even higher. “Of course, to achieve this, I couldn’t have done it without a bit of assistance from my dearest mother,” he admits, rubbing the back of his neck. You can already envision Karamatsu

It’s wonderful. The sky is clear, so you get a full view of the twinkling stars and the soft glow of the moon. Karamatsu asks you about your day and you two get lost in conversation.

As conversation slows, he’ll wistfully look at the stars and say another one of his dumb rehearsed lines. “The stars are beautiful tonight… but they are just grains of sand next to you.” He’ll then get a bit bashful and say that he really enjoyed tonight and was wondering if you’d like to hang out some other time?

Choromatsu: a coffee date! But oh dear he’s a fish out of water.

He briefly considers buying two tickets to a concert, but quickly dismisses it because he too embarrassed to show you how passionate he gets over idols.

He really wants to ask you in person but he would actually break trying to get the words out so he texts you a simple “Do you want to grab a coffee at XYZ café?”

You arrive at the café and spot Choromatsu sitting at a table, flipping through a book. He’s wearing a white button up, a brown sweater, and olive trousers. When you greet him, he practically jumps out of his chair.

“H-Hello!” he squeaks, bowing his head abruptly. He looks shyly at you and breathlessly mumbles “You look nice…” He freezes up and backpedals severely, sputtering “Ni-nice, nice… this is a nice café! Have you tried their, ah, americano?” His face is stretched into a tense smile.

“Thank you! You look nice too, I haven’t seen you wear this sweater before, it suits you well!” you return the compliment and Choromatsu turns cherry red. He turns away to look at his sweater and thanks you quietly.

The two of you go to order drinks, Choromatsu buys a black americano and is kind enough to buy your drink as well.

When you settle down at a table with your drinks, you notice that Choro’s nerves have calmed down a lot, he’s no longer stuttering every word and is fidgeting a lot less.

“So, what were you reading before I got here?” you ask, recalling that it was a pretty thick novel. He perks up at your question and pulls his messenger bag out to retrieve said book.

“Ah, you see, I was reading a book about managing businesses! I’ve been looking into business management and thought that readin-“ A familiar manga tumbles onto the table and it’s swiped away quickly.

“Oh,” you interrupt him before he can start spewing out an apology or excuse, “do you like that series?” Choromatsu pauses and looks at you with an incredulous look before nodding. “Really? That’s one of my favorite mangas!” you cheer, and you can practically see his prim illusion melt before your eyes.

“Really?” he asks, and you notice a slight spark in his eyes. Bingo. You nod, eager to get to see his nerdy side. He always tried so hard to look like a proper adult, and it was a shame that he was stifling his interests. You decide to try to stoke that spark and lean in closer. “Yeah, I read it a few months ago, I didn’t think that you’d be into it! How far have you gotten, do you like it?”

He has the cutest glow in his eyes as he chatters about the series and you’re thankful for the manga slipping out of his bag, it served as a wonderful social lubricant. By the time your cup was empty, you had gotten to learn more about Choromatsu. He seemed embarrassed by his interests, but every time you reassured him that it’s fine to have passions his body relaxed a bit more. He took the time to attentively ask you questions too and overall you felt really good about this little date.

“Would you like to walk around a bit? I think there’s a bookstore nearby.” Choromatsu tentatively suggested, swirling the last dredges of his coffee around in his cup. You agree, so the two of you walked a block to the store.

His hand would occasionally sway by yours, but he would honestly be too timid to hold your hand on the first date. If you try to hold his hand, he’ll probably flinch and be rigid for a second, before relaxing.

He buys you a small piece of merch related to the manga you bonded over and the two of you part after confirming that it was a fun date!

As you leave, you hear Choromatsu hop from foot to foot and cheer to himself!

Ichimatsu: unofficial date

Hanging out with Ichimatsu was a bit uncommon. If you asked him what he was up to, he would tell you where he was in town. It took a while before you picked up that these were soft invites to join him.

One time you joined him at the park. He was sitting on the swings and lazily turned his head to watch you as you approached him.

“Sorry, I already fed the cats,” he mumbled, standing up. He smoothed out a few wrinkles on his DAT sweater. “You didn’t have anything better to do today?”

“I like hanging out with you.” Your simple reply made Ichimatsu stuff his hands into his pockets and start walking. You follow along, taking note of how cute his ears looked red.

He pauses by a cat café and you see his glimmering eyes linger on the cats snoozing by the window. He crouches and waves his hand near a fat grey cat.

“Do you want to check it out?” you ask, and Ichimatsu shakes his head slowly. “I didn’t bring money.” he murmurs, smiling as the cat’s eyes started to follow his hand.

“I can spot you!” you offer, making Ichimatsu freeze in thought. “I’d like to relax with some cats with you.” you add, hoping that’ll make Ichimatsu feel less bad about having you pay for him. He stands up and stares at your shoes.

“Sure, if you want to…” he mumbles, nervously putting his hands into his pockets again. “Thanks.”

The entrance fee of 900 yen included a drink, Ichimatsu chose to get a juice.

You settled down by a table near a cat tower and after setting his juice on the table, he sat on the floor to offer a hand to a cat.

It doesn’t take long before a calico cat is happily purring on his lap. Ichimatsu looks like he might start purring anytime soon, with how relaxed he looked scratching the cat’s ear. You don’t have as much luck as Ichimatsu with cat taming, but a fat orange cat settles next to you on the booth. It looks at you expectantly and you give it a few scritches on its cheeks.

You sip your drink and “mm!” out of surprise. Wow, it tasted really good! You notice that Ichimatsu’s drink was untouched and stand up to give it to him so he wouldn’t have to disturb the sweet calico. He thanks you and sips his orange colored juice as you take a seat on the floor with him. His sleepy eyes widen slightly and he nods approvingly.

“Did you want to try my drink?” you tilt your cup towards him and he nearly drops his juice. You weren’t expecting a reaction like that and tried to verbally backpedal “Oh, you don’t have to, you know, with germs and all-”

He grabs your wrist and tugs the drink down until the straw met his lips. He took a strained sip, he honestly looked a bit constipated for how scrunched and pink his face was for sipping a drink.

“It’s good,” he exhales. He realizes his grip on your wrist and lets go immediately, before holding out his juice. “Did you want to try? You bought it and all.” You nod and have to resist grinning at how adorable Ichimatsu looked right now, his eyes were burning holes through the ground and his cheeks were dusted pink. It looked like he was trying his best to scowl but the corners of his lips gave away the hint of a smile.

You decide to mimic Ichimatsu and gently grab his wrist to pull his cup towards you. Bright, sweet notes of mango and peach grace your mouth and, wow, he picked a good drink. You let go of his wrist and his hand stays frozen there before he brings his cup back to drink his juice again.

Cats swarm Ichimatsu and he manages to enrapture all of them effortlessly. Cats are piled at his feet and purring. They seem oblivious that you even exist and you pout a bit at being ignored. Ichimatsu notices your slight pout and he offers a hand to you without thinking. When you place your hand into his dry palms, he only then seems to realize what he just did with a tense look on his face.

He soldiers on and places his hand on the back of yours, guiding you to pet the same grey cat you encountered at the display window.

You spend a few hours just enjoying the cats and Ichimatsu’s company. When your legs start to get pins and needles from sitting on the floor too long, you notice that the café is starting to get a bit busy so the both of you decide to leave.

You notice that Ichimatsu is walking a bit closer to you than usual. His hands are stuffed in his pockets like usual, but his shoulder brushes against yours every few steps.

It’s never clarified that this was a date but Ichimatsu parts ways with a “see you later” and a soft smile.

Jyushimatsu: a fun hangout that becomes a date!

You and Jyushimatsu were walking home after a long day of fun. It was impossible to have a dull moment with him around, today consisted of various activities at the park. Volleyball, pitching baseballs, going on a small hike, Jyushimatsu finding a five leaf clover, getting chased by geese, Jyushimatsu was quick on his feet and scooped you away from the vicious birds.

You waved at Jyushimatsu as you reached where you had to part. He smiled his classic big smile and waved enthusiastically with both hands before leaving.

Not even 10 seconds later you hear him yell “Y/N!” and his sneakers slapping against the pavement. He’s slightly out of breath as he holds a flier out in front of you.

It was an advertisement for a travelling carnival that was visiting town this weekend! Jyushimatsu bounces excitedly and asks if you wanted to check it out, it wasn’t everyday that a carnival showed up! Luckily you were free so you agree to meet him at the carnival in the afternoon on Saturday.

It’s hard to miss him, you spot a bouncing ball of yellow near the entrance. Jyushimatsu’s wearing a simple outfit, an loose white shirt that’s roughly tucked into brown shorts with an oversized yellow plaid shirt. He’s rocking on the balls of his feet and when he spots you, he waves so hard you can almost hear his sleeves flapping.

“Come on, come on, let’s go!” Jyushimatsu cheers, already pointing out rides he wanted to go on. There was a rollercoaster, how does a moving carnival carry a whole rollercoaster? And a Ferris wheel? There was so much to check out!

The tickets are pretty cheap, but you notice a couple’s discount while waiting in line. When you two are next in line, Jyushimatsu suddenly stops talking and you see that he’s frozen in place. He still has his smile, but his eyes were frozen on the discount.

The employee’s tired “next in line, please,” snapped Jyushimatsu out of his trance and he jumped to the counter to buy two tickets. The teenage boy behind the register eyed you and Jyushimatsu before applying the discount.

Before you can thank him for paying, Jyushimatsu’s clothed hand pulled your hand along to join the line for bumpercarts.

After trying various rides, you decide to take a breather and just look around the various mini games and merchandise. A fat stuffed Pikachu catches your eye, and Jyushimatsu practically hurdles over the poor person managing the ring toss game to play a round.

He throws the rings way too hard but somehow three of the ten ricochet onto the bottles. He picks out a small prize and pouts that he wasn’t able to get you the Pikachu, but he got you a keychain of plush duck from Spirited Away!

The night settles over you and you decide to hit the Ferris wheel before calling it a night. Jyushimatsu bounces slightly in his seat, making the cabin shake slightly. He stops if you look nervous.

Curiosity gets the best of you and when the wheel is nearing the end of its rotation, you ask if this was a date. Jyushimatsu “ahs” in surprise and looks out the window.

“I don’t know,” he states, finally turning his head to look at you. His mouth was shut in a rare closed mouth smile, and he fiddles with the hem of his shirt.

You realize that the ride wasn’t over as it started to go for another rotation.

“I…” Jyushimatsu trails off, and his lips were pulled into a tense line. His eyes were steely as stared at his hands, gripping fistfuls of his sleeve. “Is it okay if this is a date? Do you want this to be a date?” He lifted his eyes up to meet yours, and there’s a glimmer of vulnerability in those sweet brown eyes. Your body reacts before words can leave your mouth, you feel your head shake up and down before a “yes” tumbles out. Jyushimatsu’s back straightens up like a spring and his face splits into one of his classic smiles.

“Really?” he cries, and when you reassure him he yells a “hurray” and dives into your arms. The cart rocks violently, causing you to almost fold over Jyushimatsu. You laugh as you untangle yourself from each other. He looked so pretty with his long eyelashes and contagious smile.

The two of you exit the carnival with Jyushimatsu leading the way, almost vibrating in joy as he swings your hand the entire walk back.

Todomatsu: a cute date, with a side of the youngest brother curse.

One day after a shift, you and a few of your coworkers decided to hit up a local hot pot spot! A few random people that knew your coworkers showed up, Todomatsu was among one of them. He sat across from you and introduced himself as Totty.

He seemed really sweet and socially thrived! But as the large group broke into a collection of smaller conversations, Totty seemed to take a special interest in you. He was super engaged in convo, asking questions about your interests. He apparently met your mutual acquaintance at his old job as a barista, and he was taking some time to himself before job hunting again.

After dinner, Todomatsu asks if you’d want to exchange contact? You agree, there didn’t seem to be any red flags with him! You shoot a few messages back and forth and it’s exciting getting to know a new person.

“hey, check out this cute café that opened recently!!” he messages a few days later, and after discussing a few details you finally have plans for a date.

He shows up to the date as you arrive, wearing a white shirt with thin navy stripes, a large blush sweater, and cropped brown pants. He asks if you were waiting long and is relieved when you said that you got here.

Todomatsu buys a strawberry milk tea boba and offers to buy yours. You settle down by a table by the window and he asks you how you’ve been the past few days.

As you start to talk, you notice his round attentive eyes start to drift to the window. His brows furrowed in confusion, and you stop talking.

“Totty? What’s up?” you ask, starting to turn your head to the window. You see nothing out of the usual, just a normal street with a few shops and pedestrians.

“Ah, it’s nothing! I just saw something in that store that looked really cute!” he titters, and you can’t help but notice a strain in his voice. Slightly confused, you smile and sip on your drink.

“Did you want to check it out?” you suggest, and Totty agrees very eagerly. It’s a cute trinket store, they have things like stationary, phone cases, plush animals, and jewelry.

You find a cute rabbit with a sweet smile and rosy cheeks that reminds you of Totty! You mention it to him and he giggles, cheeks turning a bit red. You continue to browse around for a bit until Totty taps you on the shoulder and gives you a small bag. Inside is a small phone charm that has the same rabbit you pointed out earlier. “So you can think of me whenever you see it!” he winks.

When you exit the store together, you hear Totty yelp. You turn to see him getting grabbed by five men that look like him. They’re frozen, with Todomatsu flailing in their grasp. They blink a few times before dropping Totty on the ground. They all smile and talk animatedly over each other, ignoring the person on the pavement.

“Uh, Totty,” you unsteadily start, unsure of how to handle this situation. How do you handle this, what the hell? You crouch a bit to help Todomatsu up, he looks like he wants the ground to swallow him up whole. “Do you know these people?”

“Ah, yes, these are…” he glances lifelessly behind him. “…my brothers.”

“His older brothers!” the one in red shouts, posing triumphantly. “We’re identical sextuplets!” he lilts offkey. You sympathetically look at Totty, his face is downcast and his eyes are shining.

“Oh, wow, sextuplets! I didn’t think I’d be meeting your family so soon,” you try to lighten the mood, and Todomatsu tries to smile but he still looks mortified. “Do you want to leave?” you whisper. His eyes practically scream yes.

You wrap your arm around Totty’s, which causes his brothers to gasp and glare at him?? The hell’s wrong wit them?

“It was nice to meet you guys, but we’re on a date!” you smile before heading off. You feel Todomatsu squeeze your arm closer to his body and whisper “thank you.”

You stop by the swings a park and Todomatsu guiltily confesses that he’s a sextuplet?

You reassure him that it’s fine, it’s interesting, but who cares? As long as his brothers being unexpected guests isn’t a normal thing, it wasn’t too relevant. He seems relieved and apologizes, this won’t happen again.

You end up just talking, swaying on the swingset. He seems more genuine now, almost like revealing his family life was a huge weight off his shoulders.

He apologizes again for his brothers and offers to make it up to you next time!

[neonweeknds]

enchanted - PART TWELVE

*u can read here or on ao3*

PART TWELVE

summary - How Jan and Jackie’s lives ended up a few years later. 

Jan spent the entire day on her twenty-third birthday working. By the time she got home, she was extremely exhausted. She never knew giving voice lessons to kids could be so damn draining. 

Jan had only been working as a vocal coach for a little while now. After she graduated university when she was twenty-two, she needed a more steady source of income so she, unfortunately, had to say goodbye to Jinkx’s Clubhouse, not without promising weekly visits. Besides, Jan knew she couldn’t stay away from Jinkx’s famous strawberry milkshakes, even if she tried. She could never repay her boss for the many nights she helped her rehearse and practice for anything that involved musical theatre. She was definitely going to miss it.

For now, she was stuck teaching a bunch of rich and pretentious children how to sing properly, even though most of them were beyond Jan’s help. Hopefully, she wouldn’t be doing this for much longer.

Jan wasn’t exactly where she thought she would be after she graduated.

Perhaps she dreamed a little too big to be thinking that she would get callback after callback when she got her degree. Turns out,  she wasn’t the only wide-eyed, small-town girl who wanted her big break on broadway. 

It didn’t help that almost everyone in her life was flourishing while she was just…stuck. Jan was over the moon for her friends but sometimes she was left wondering when her time would come. 

Crystal had gone on to do a summer art program in Italy after she graduated, where Gigi of course joined her. Crystal happened to have one of her paintings featured in an art gallery in Venus, where an extremely wealthy Italian socialite bought her painting. Now, less than two years later she was a very successful artist who was selling her work left and right, painting murals, doing commissions, the whole nine yards. 

Gigi graduated with her degree in fashion design, immediately landing an internship as the assistant to an assistant of a pretty well-known designer. It was a lot of coffee runs, meetings and just a whole lot of being told what to do. But, because of this internship, she was able to showcase some of her designs to the assistant who then passed them onto the designer herself. The designer was so impressed with Gigi, she was then promoted to an actual paid position as her assistant. It seemed like Gigi lucked out as the designer’s old assistant had just gone on maternity leave. Just a few weeks ago, she got to attend New York fashion week. Gigi was doing great and she hoped that with this internship, it would open more doors for her in the future. 

Jan had gotten even closer with Lemon over the years. During her time at her dance school, she had been in tons of ads, tv shows and music videos, building up her resume. Just a few months ago she was touring as a backup dancer with Kim Petras. Jan had a heart attack when Lemon told her the news. She then had a stroke when Lemon invited her to the New York show and she got to meet Kim backstage. Definitely, a peak moment of her life. For a while, Jan was worried Jackie would be upset after she found out about her and Lemons particular…history, but in fact, she welcomed Lemon with open arms and the two of them for along great. She, Jackie, Lemon and Priyanka all got along great.

Her other friends throughout her time at NYU, like Jaida, Rock and Heidi were doing bigger and better things as well. Jaida actually ended up dropping out of NYU and going to cosmetology school instead. She moved to LA and worked full time as a makeup artist but she and Jan always caught up whenever she was in New York. Rock was currently in law school so she was always super busy. They didn’t talk as much as they used to but they still kept up with each other. Heidi had moved back to her hometown and hadn’t really told anyone why. She and Jan haven’t talked for a couple of months now but she was okay with it. She knew that some friendships weren’t going to last forever and that was okay. She wished Heidi nothing but the best. 

Then there was Jackie. 

If there was one thing that stayed consistent in the past four years it was her. Jackie graduated from NYU around the same time their run of Into The Woods finished. Since the end of that one musical, she had been doing so much...it was insane. Because of that musical, so many professional producers and directors that worked in film, tv and the broadway scene itself, reached out to Jackie to have her come work for them. She landed a job working at a tv network, producing some of their smaller segments.

Jackie became extremely busy over the next few months after her graduation. It was tough at first because suddenly both girls became too busy to see one another. When Jan wasn’t working, Jackie was and when Jackie wasn’t working, Jan was. She found herself missing her girlfriend more than ever during late nights. But Jan didn’t mind, because Jackie was happy. She was doing something she loved so who was she to be upset. 

Or so she thought. 

Then one night, Jackie came to Jan’s apartment she shared with Gigi, uttering the words ‘I quit’ to her before delving into the horrors she dealt with at her job for the past few months. Apparently, most of her coworkers were egotistical and misogynistic guys who thought women had no place in the directing industry. Jackie hadn’t been producing content but instead, she was going on stupid coffee runs and doing all the work no one else wanted to do. 

Jan was heartbroken for Jackie but the brunette didn’t even seem phased. She was miserable working there, it was obvious. 

Instead of mourning her job, Jackie jumped straight back into production mode and told Jan she was going to write a play. While writing the play, she was working full-time at Brita’s again, doing small directing gigs on the side for local companies and such. The writing took up most of her time though. It took her a while to complete it but Jan was there every step of the way. Through all the sleepless nights, stress-induced headaches, everything, the blond was there up until she finished writing it towards the end of Jan’s sophomore year. 

Gigi didn’t even blink an eye when she came home from school one day to see her and Jackie popping a bottle of champagne because the play she had spent months and months writing, had officially been picked up by a theatre company. 

But that all stopped when Jackie realized they wanted to produce the play in Chicago. 

Jackie had to go and Jan wasn’t going to stop her, even if it hurt like a bitch. The thing that scared her the most was that she would be living there indefinitely. It could be six months, it could be a year or it could be five years…she didn’t know. The closer they got to Jackie’s moving date the more and more Jan began spiralling. 

What if Jackie found someone new in Chicago and realized Jan wasn’t worth it? What if she realized how much better life was in Chicago and stayed there forever, leaving Jan behind? What if Jan was holding Jackie back? All the what if’s invaded her mind and ultimately led Jan to make the biggest mistake of her life.

She broke up with Jackie. 

It was one of the worst feelings she had ever experienced in her life. But Jan thought she was doing the good thing…letting Jackie be free in this new city, with new people and new experiences without having to worry about her anxious and depressed girlfriend back in New York. Jackie had jumped into a relationship with Jan so quickly after her previous one ended, she never had the chance to be single. Jan stupidly enough thought that was a great excuse to add to her list of reasons she was using to try and convince herself she did the right thing.

Jan didn’t know what she was thinking. She wasted so many tears that could’ve been saved, so much pain that could’ve been avoided if she had just talked to Jackie. 

But Jan didn’t think before she acted so she dealt with the consequences. 

It was rough. Although they broke up, Jan was constantly reminded of the brunette everywhere she went, considering she lived with her best friend. Since Crystal couldn’t afford the apartment that she and Jackie had been sharing since they graduated, she just ended up moving in with her and Gigi. Crystal was at their apartment twenty-four-seven anyways, if barely made a difference. But then it gave Jan a constant reminder of what she lost...of what she didn’t have anymore. 

If there was one thing Jan learned it was that she made a huge mistake. Jackie was the love of her life and nothing was going to change that. The couple months she spent without her were some of the worst and she didn’t want to live in a world where she and Jackie weren’t together. 

The impulsive part of Jan’s brain took over and she booked the next flight to Chicago. Within twenty-four hours, she was standing outside of Jackie’s apartment. She was terrified that Jackie wouldn’t want anything to do with her. 

When she knocked on Jackie’s door for the first time, she did slam the door in her face and refused to come and talk to her. Jan didn’t blame her, if anything, she was surprised that’s all that happened. Jan didn’t mind though because she was going to prove to Jackie that she wanted her back. 

She would be in the city all week so she had plenty of time. In hindsight, it was probably a little creepy for your ex to constantly be at your door with coffee, food, flowers...but she was really trying. On the third day, Jackie finally allowed Jan to come in and talk. Jan apologized and actually sat with Jackie and talked through her emotions, how she was feeling and why she broke up with Jackie. Not that it excused her decisions in any way shape or form, but it allowed Jackie to have clarity on Jan’s headspace 

It was such a stupid reason to break up with someone when Jan was explaining it to Jackie out loud, and she realized that. They had to overcome a lot of issues and they spent a minimum of three hours talking. It was weird because after Jan initially apologized, it was like they hadn’t broken up…like they hadn’t been away from one another for almost two months. 

They talked about everything including a not-so-fun conversation about Nicky.

 Yeah, Jan was shocked too. 

According to Jackie, her ex had caught wind of hers and Jan’s little breakup and instantly messaged her through social media and through text, even though Jackie had blocked her. She was so persistent in trying to get back together with her, Jackie found it hilarious that she ever thought she would get a second chance. However, what Jackie didn’t find funny was that Nicky was in another full-blown relationship while she was begging to get back together with Jackie. A few screenshots later, it’s safe to say Nicky left her alone after that. 

Jan blamed karma. 

Despite everything that happened over that summer, they managed to make it through and came out stronger than ever. The couple of months they spent apart was all Jan needed, to know that she never wanted to be with anyone else. 

Long-distance was never on Jan’s bucket list but she would make it work if it meant supporting Jackie. They would visit each other pretty frequently, especially since they had gotten back together in the summertime. Jackie would come for a weekend or vice versa. Round trip tickets were surprisingly cheap so they tried to see each other as often as they could. 

Jackie’s play premiered during the holidays that year. 

Jan couldn’t even begin to articulate how proud she was of her girlfriend. The theatre was packed and all of their friends and family came down to watch the show, similar to how it was when they did Into The Woods. Jackie’s writing, directing, producing…everything was impeccable, and she wasn’t just being biased. It was one of the best shows she had seen and she wasn’t the only one who seemed to think so. 

The ratings for her show exploded in popularity. People were just dying to see it so much so, it ran for longer than originally intended. Jackie had gotten a contract stating that if the show was successful, they would put it on for six months.

No one expected the traction it gained…not even Jackie. She got offered an extra three months, making it nine in total. 

Jan was over the moon for her. Jackie was finally getting all the recognition and attention she deserved. Not long after the run for her first show ended, she moved back to New York, this time in an apartment with Jan. 

Listen, Jan absolutely loved living with Gigi and Crystal, but honestly, when Jackie was in Chicago, she felt even lonelier. Gigi and Crystal weren’t shy about their PDA and although Jan would never admit it, she was jealous. 

So when Jackie was getting ready to move back to New York and suggested that they maybe get an apartment together…Jan jumped at the opportunity. Jan was almost through her junior year when they got a very cheap place together in downtown Manhattan. She was still working at Jinkx’s so their budget was still pretty low but she couldn’t be happier with their new home. 

It had one bedroom, a tiny living room and an even tinier kitchen, but they made it work. Jackie’s plant collection followed her all the way to Chicago and all the way back to New York and Jan’s endless boxes of CDs sat on a shelf that took up way too much space in their living room. 

They even managed to fit a cat in the mix. She was a stray that Jan started to see while she walked to work. Then the cat started following Jan to work and always hung out in the alleyway of Jinkx’s. Jan would feed it, pet it and eventually, she grew very attached to it, very quickly. It took Jan a while to convince Jackie to let her keep the cat but after she promised to get it checked out to make sure it wasn’t full of diseases, her girlfriend couldn’t say no. 

After a very expensive trip to the vet, Jan proudly welcomed their new cat appropriately named Hamilton, to his new home. Jackie would never admit it but she loved that cat to death. 

In the end, Jan wouldn’t have it any other way. 

She was able to wake up to Jackie every morning, they were able to drink their coffee and eat breakfast together, have uninterrupted sex whenever they wanted and have endless movie nights where Jan forced Jackie to watch early 2000’s classics that she was uneducated about. 

She couldn’t ask for anything better. 

The summer before Jan’s senior year she landed an internship working for Playbill, the magazine. The funny thing was when Jan went in for that interview, she thought she bombed, so she was extremely shocked when they called her back, saying she was chosen for the job. 

After Into The Woods, she called up Michelle and do an internship over the summer for her casting company. Jan didn’t even know Michelle owned a casting company but apparently, it was extremely successful. She appreciated Michelle for giving her the job but she didn’t do much. She learned a lot about the industry behind the scenes but it only made her realize that she most definitely wanted to stick to performing. 

The reason she wanted this internship at Playbill was because it was a really good opportunity for her career and something that would shine on her resume. Her summer was extremely busy between her internship, her job and the few summer classes she was taking. Jackie was busy working on writing another play as she did some freelance directing on the side for extra money. Jan loved working for Playbill and she found that she really enjoyed journalism. 

Maybe if her career in broadway flatlined she would have something else to fall back onto. 

Towards the end of her internship, out of the group of students that were chosen to work there, only one would be able to get an extended contract leading up to a full-time position. 

Was Jan hoping she would get it? Yes. But did she end up getting it? No. 

She was upset for a while but then realized that maybe it just wasn’t meant to be. Sure she liked it there but what she was really passionate about was performing. She wanted to sing and dance her ass off on stage until she physically couldn’t anymore. 

Leading up to her graduation, she auditioned for a few different shows, each of them leading to absolutely nothing. Jan tried not to dwell on it too much because maybe it was a sign from the universe telling her that she should wait. 

After all, she wasn’t graduated…yet. 

But then graduation happened and she kept auditioning and still…nothing. Maybe Jan’s ego inflated too much after Into The Woods. She was grateful she had Jackie there by her side through it all because not once, did she stop believing in Jan even when she didn’t believe in herself. 

If Jan was so desperate for a role she could easily ask Jackie to write her a part in whatever play she was working on but that was the last thing she wanted to do. If she was going to make it on Broadway, she was going to do it by herself. Not just because her girlfriend was becoming a seemingly famous playwright. Jan wanted to prove to herself and to everyone who ever doubted her that she would be successful. 

For now, she had her teaching job while also auditioning for any piece of broadway that she was qualified for. Just the other day, she had done an audition for a new up-and-coming musical with a historical take called Six. The musical was screaming her name and she hoped and prayed she would get a callback. 

On the day of her twenty-third birthday, she had a full day lined up with voice lessons from early morning to evening. She got back home to hers and Jackie’s place, ready to fall asleep at any moment. 

But she couldn’t exactly do that. 

Gigi had planned a small birthday dinner for her and although Jan was exhausted, she also missed her best friend who she barely saw anymore unless it was through FaceTime. 

As for Jackie, she was unfortunately gone on a trip, hoping to pitch her new play to a few different theatre companies in LA. She and Crystal decided to make a girl’s trip out of it. She wouldn’t be back for another two days because she had a meeting on the day of her birthday. 

Jackie had been nothing but an angel to her all day. She woke up to the sweetest text message and phone call from Jackie. She also sent flowers and a present to their apartment. 

Jackie had promised to call her the second she got out of her meeting which was taking place around the same time as Jan’s birthday dinner. 

Reluctantly, Jan stripped out of her work clothes and changed into something more dinner appropriate. Knowing Gigi, she obviously chose a very extravagant and fancy restaurant so it wasn’t like Jan could just show up in her work attire. 

She went to the back of her closet where she kept all her fancy dresses that weren’t for everyday use. She pulled out a short maroon satin dress that was off the shoulder and had ruffles all along the neckline. She curled her hair and added more depth to the makeup she already had on. Finally, she threw on her most comfy pair of heels because she was not about to risk her own comfort for a few hours. She ordered an Uber and texted Gigi that she was on her way. She wasn’t entirely sure who was going to be there besides Lemon and Priyanka. 

Over the years, she had made some new friends in university besides the ones she had known since freshman year. She had also met some friends in other places besides school like at her internships and random shops around the city. There was Peppermint, who she met while doing her internship at Michelle’s casting company. Then there was Naomi, who was a model she met through Gigi at a fashion show she attended once. Then there was Brooke Lynn and Vanessa, a couple she and Jackie met while shopping one random day a little while ago. 

She even had all her sisters nearby. Rosé moved to New York two years ago with Denali. Jan wanted to say she was surprised but she really wasn’t. Denali did some coaching for figure skating and Rosé had gotten the opportunity to tour as an opening act with her band for some artists all over the US. She was working on an album now. As for Lagoona, she felt a little left out back in Maine, so she made the move to New Jersey a few months after Rosé. She just ended up transferring companies and was still doing all her smart lawyer-y stuff as usual. 

During the Uber ride, she couldn’t help but think of Jackie. She hoped the meeting was going well for her. Jan had read this play that she wrote, like she did for all of them and it was nothing short of incredible. She really hoped those companies liked it. 

When she entered the restaurant, Jan was greeted by a hyper Gigi who had clearly pre-gamed and was a little tipsy. “You sexy bitch! Ugh I missed you! Happy Birthday to the looooove of my life!” she planted a giant kiss on Jan’s cheek, undoubtedly leaving a lipgloss stain. Gigi hadn’t changed much over the years. She still held her fashionable poise and was equally if not more sarcastic than before but she and Jan had never been closer. 

Jan laughed, “Uh oh…how would Crystal feel about that?” 

“She’s used to it by now,” she shrugged, “Cmon, almost everyone’s here and we’re all almost drunk!” 

Jan followed Gigi to their table and was then greeted by Lemon and Priyanka, as she predicted. Naomi, Brooke Lynn, Vanessa, Peppermint, Widow and even Jaida were all there. Jan wanted to question why Gigi said everyone was ‘almost’ here because as far as she knew, these were all her friends. She didn’t have much time to think about it because Gigi ordered a bottle of champagne for them all to share. 

“To Jan Mantione!” they all cheered. The previous exhaustion Jan felt melted away as she was surrounded by the people who meant most to her.  The only thing that was missing was having Jackie and Crystal here, but she was still eternally grateful for all of her friends “Not for long…” Jaida commented and Jan momentarily furrowed her eyebrows in confusion and she then caught Gigi slapping her arm lightly as she whispered in her ear. 

Suddenly it seemed like everyone at this table knew a secret she didn’t. 

The subject was quickly changed by Vanessa animately about some crazy work story. She was a burlesque dancer and seemed to have a never-ending amount of wild nights. 

“So have you talked to Jackie today?” Gigi asked. 

Jan nodded, “We talked this morning, FaceTimed for a bit…she sent me some flowers and presents too,” she smiled. 

“She sent you flowers?” Jaida awe’d, “That’s so cute it makes me sick,” she pouted, “Y’all are like…the only couple that makes me believe in love,”

Gigi, Lemon, Priyanka, Vanessa and Brooke Lynn all scoffed at the same time, “What are we? Dirt?” Vanessa said. ‘

Priyanka shook her head, “She’s just mad cause she can’t get a girlfriend…or boyfriend,” she teased. 

Jaida scoffed, “How dare you! I already know that but you’re not supposed to say it out loud! Geez!”

“Cmon though, when are you guys gonna get married…surely you’ve talked about it, right?” Peppermint asked. 

Jan had thought about it. 

A lot. 

More than usual lately. 

Sure, she was only twenty-three but honestly, the more she grew up the more she realized there’s no set age for anything. 

If you’re ready, you’re ready. Simple as that. 

She was ready to wake up next to Jackie, not just as her girlfriend, but as her wife. She was ready to take on the responsibility of marriage. Jan wasn’t dumb, she had spent a lot of sleepless nights thinking about this with Jackie by her side. She knew marriage wasn’t a small thing. 

It was the beginning of a new life for them.

She had never pictured herself getting married but the second she was with Jackie, all that faded away and the image was clearer than ever. She and Jackie had had the whole marriage and kids conversation a year into their relationship. They knew where each other stood on the subject so it was just a matter of time now. 

If Jackie were to ask her today, she would say yes. If Jackie were to ask her in six months, a year, even five years from now, she would still say yes. She honestly didn’t care, as long as they were together. 

“We have…I’m not in a rush, it’ll happen when it happens,” she took a sip of her champagne. 

“If she asked you next week, would you say yes?” Naomi asked. 

Jan nodded, “Yeah I probably would…but hey...what’s with all the marriage talk guys…how come I don’t see you pestering Brooke and Vanessa, or Gigi and Crystal? Lem and Pri?” she pointed out. 

“Because it’s your birthday dinner,” Lemon smiled. 

Jan squinted, “You guys are acting weird-“

“Another round of champagne!” Gigi cut her off. 

She tried not to think about how bizarre everyone was acting…it was like they were all waiting for something. Jan just brushed it off as her exhaustion catching up to her and after a few more rounds of champagne and some delicious pasta that she stuffed her face with, she almost forgot about everything entirely. 

Their group had all finished eating a little while ago and were now just sitting around and talking about whatever came to their minds. “I don’t care what anyone says, Zendaya is too good for Tom Holland-“ Naomi said, “You know I met her in the bathroom at a Vogue party once and she offered to let me borrow her lipstick,”

“How have you met my celebrity hall pass and you’re now just mentioning it?” Jan’s mouth hung open. 

“She’s your celebrity hall pass?” Brooke Lynn said. 

Jan nodded, “Right next to Paul Rudd and Rihanna”

“Oh! Wait! Mine are Drew Barrymore and-“ but Lemon was cut off but the sound of an Ariana Grande ringtone blasting throughout the area of the restaurant they were in. Immediately, everyone looked at Jan who turned around her phone that was lying face down on the table. Her heartbeat sped up once she saw the contact picture and pink emoji beside Jackie’s name, “Guy’s shut up!”

She picked up the phone, a smile finding its way to her face instantly, “Heyyyyyy!” she dragged out.

She heard Jackie laugh from the other side, “Sounds like you’re having fun..?”

Jan laughed, “Gigi bought two whole bottles of champagne aaaand there’s none left! 

“I take it you’re having a good birthday then?” Jackie asked.

“Yeah, it’s fun! I wish you were here though,” Jan mentally pouted before remembering something, “Wait! How did the meeting go? Where are you now?” it sounded loud on Jackie’s side of the phone.

“The meeting went really well! We got a really good offer! But I’ll tell you more about it when I get back,”

“You did? Really?! That’s so great, Jacks! We need to celebrate!”

“We can celebrate tonight if you aren’t too tired…?” she trailed off, “Yeah! That sound—” she agreed instantly before remembering that Jackie was all the way in California, “Wait, we can’t tonight, you’re in LA silly,” she laughed.

“You look really pretty tonight, by the way. Red is definitely your colour,” as far as Jan remembered, she never sent Jackie any pictures of herself to her girlfriend tonight. She furrowed her eyebrows and all her friends were suddenly looking at her with smug looks on their faces. “How did you…” but Jan never finished her sentence when she saw the figure standing close by, behind Gigi. 

Jan dropped her phone, bounded up from her seat and literally threw herself into Jackie’s arms. She couldn’t believe she was here, right now, in front of her.  “You’re here,” she was still sightly drunk but also very much conscious of what was going on.

Jackie hugged her back tighter, “Did you really think I would miss your birthday?” she teased. Jan didn’t even realize she was crying until she felt Jackie wipe away the few tears that slid down her cheek, “Crys, you owe me twenty bucks! Told you she’d cry!” Gigi cheered from behind her. She hadn’t even noticed Crystal was here. 

Jan sniffled, “Hey! You guys seriously bet on me? I was really sad she wasn’t gonna be here,” she said while trying to fan her tears away.

Gigi shrugged, “Yeah but we all knew she was coming to surprise you and you’d be sobbing like a baby— Lem and Pri bet on it too! So did Brooke and Vanessa!”

Jan turned to look at the rest of her friends, “Wow thanks guys— is that why you were all acting weird?” she questioned. Jaida shrugged and nodded, “Partially— ow!” Peppermint was the one to nudge her this time, “Stop hitting me!”

“You guys made it just in time for cake!” Naomi cheered. 

Crystal and Jackie were brought seats and sat beside each of their girlfriends as their waitress brought out a chocolate cake, full of lit candles. 

Her friends sang happy birthday to her and Jan felt content. Maybe she wasn’t where she thought she would be in life but she sure as hell wasn’t complaining. 

For a long time, Jan never thought she would be happy. She didn’t think she deserved to be happy after what she went through and she still struggled with accepting the fact sometimes. Jan was nowhere near perfect even five years after she first moved to New York, but the thing was, she didn’t want to be. Jan was proud of herself. She was proud of where she started and proud of where she was now because she was happy and that was everything that she had always wanted. 

As she sat around a table with all of her friends, her best friends and the love of her life, she was the happiest she had ever been. 

“Happy birthday, baby,” Jackie smiled. 

_

Jan spent the next day completely hungover from the previous night. Thank god it was Saturday and she didn’t have anything to do besides lay in bed. 

After dinner, their group all decided to go out clubbing but Jan barely lasted an hour because she was so exhausted. She and Jackie called it a night and took another Uber back home. 

She had woken up an hour ago and was aimlessly scrolling through her phone. Jackie entered the room with some coffee and Advil in her hand and handed it to Jan. She sat up miserably in bed with a pout, “Thank you,”

“Poor baby,” Jackie chuckled, “I think today just calls for a lazy day spent inside,”

“I wholeheartedly agree,” she said before swallowing the pills and some coffee right after. 

Jackie joined her in bed and Jan continued looking through her phone, when an email notification caught her eye. She must’ve missed it last night. Opening the app and the email she was sent, she nearly dropped her phone on her face. She had to read it a few times before she was sure her eyes weren’t deceiving her. 

“Jacks,” she shook her girlfriend who was reading a book beside her. 

Jackie hummed and glanced at Jan, concern immediately taking over her features once she sees her expression, “You look like you’ve just seen a ghost? Or that you’re going to puke? I really hope it’s the ghost thing—“

“I got a callback,”

“You got a callback?! For Six? Are you serious?!” Jackie shouted but retracted once she saw Jan cringe at the volume. 

“Maybe I’m still drunk and imagining things,” she sighed as she handed her phone to Jackie so she could read over the email. 

“If you’re drunk then so am I because that definitely says that you have another audition in next week! Jan! Baby! Oh my god! This is huge! Six is being really hyped up now!” 

The words finally registered in Jan’s brain, “Is this real? Finally, after months of nothing?” she said. 

“I have my glasses on and everything, you have an audition…this is one hundred percent real!” Jackie smiled, “You did it!”

“Well I didn’t get the part yet—“

“No— no negativity is allowed today! We’re channelling it…that’s not the word that Crystal uses…what’s it called?” Jackie asked, searching for the term. 

“Manifesting?” Jan chuckled.

Jackie clapped her hands, “Yes! We’re manifesting this good energy into the world right now— I got my offer, you get your role and we live happily ever after!”

It was at that moment that Jan remembered Jackie’s meeting, “Hey! You never told me about the offer you got from that company?”

Jackie smiled, turning to face her girlfriend, “Well…it got picked up by WowPresents! They’re offering a ten-month contract and I get full creative control!”

“That’s great Jacks! WowPresents…that’s crazy! When are you going out there?” she asked, assuming Jackie was going to have to be in LA within the next few months. 

“What?” she asked.

“In LA,”

Jackie shook her head and her smile grew bigger, “Nuh-uh, that’s the best part…they’re letting me do it here! In New York!”

“Oh my god!” Jan screamed a little too loud for the headache she was currently nursing. “Really?”

Jackie nodded, “Yep! I’m not going anywhere, baby!”

All Jan could do was kiss her, “I love you…thank you for surprising me yesterday,”

“Of course,”

“Seriously though…” Jan sighed and felt herself getting emotional, “I’m just…I’m so happy that I met you…”

Jackie pecked her nose, “You have no idea how grateful I am that you’re mine,”

“I mean it…you’re it for me, Jacks” she breathed out. 

All of a sudden, Jackie had a look on her face that meant she really needed to say something, “I was going to do this during dinner tomorrow but I can’t wait,” Jackie blurted out.

Jan frowned, “What—“

“Marry me,”

Jan was speechless, “…Jackie,”

“I don’t have the ring right now because I was gonna do some cheesy proposal that I know you’re obsessed with— you know, where you find the ring at the bottom of your glass or hide it in the cake— I don’t know I didn’t figure that out yet but I can’t wait anymore so, Jan—“

“Yes!” Jan said without hesitation. 

“You didn’t let me finish,” Jackie teased and Jan laughed, “Sorry, carry on,”

“Jan, will you—“

“Yes, yes yes!— sorry!” 

Jackie chuckled, “Will you marry me?”

“Yes! Obviously!” she kissed Jackie a million and one times. “That makes so much sense…everyone was bugging out last night at dinner, you told them that you were going to propose,”

Jackie nodded, “To be fair, I told Gigi, Crys, Lemon and Pri…I can bet you anything Lemon spilled the beans to everyone else. And I owe Jaida fifty bucks for not accidentally telling you,”

“I mean now that I think about it…she almost did…I was just too tired last night to think about why everyone was being weird…you sneaky bitch, oh my god! First, you plan to surprise me and now this!”

“I gotta keep you on your toes,” Jackie pinched Jan’s thigh which made her squeal. Jan flipped herself up on top of Jackie and stared down lovingly at her now fiancé. 

“I love you,”

“I love you too,”

There wasn’t anywhere else Jan would rather be, than with Jackie by her side. 

_

[angelmichelangelo]

i’m about five years too late and nobody asked for this except me and i need to just get this out of my brain because it’s 2am so here’s a list of things i wish happened on glee that didn’t HERE WE GO:

- new directions being actual teenagers. just them hanging out. going to group sleepovers. giant study sessions (because school exists in this universe?) like remember in tpp when they were eating lunch together ? that’s what i wanted MORE of. just them being actual friends. a sleepover episode is all i wanted imagine all the abba songs we could have gained from that episode

- a halloween themed episode. the closest to this that we got was the ‘thriller/heads will roll’ mashup which YES was iconic but im greedy and it’s not enough. my idea for a halloween episode is that the gang gets trapped inside the school after staying behind to idk rehearse? or something? and then things get progressively worse as they start to go a little mad, thinking the school is haunted and they split up into pairs trying to find an escape and they think they’re seeing ghosts/someone lurking around the school and they’re getting real spooked but it turns out it’s just sue fucking with them lmao

- kurt and finn being brothers. THE POTENTIAL WAS THERE and sadly after furt we are left with crumbs. why ?? WHY?? little moments like finn saying that he’s driving back home with kurt or them saying they can’t do something because they have a family thing would have been good enough. more scenes of them hanging out in their home with their parents would have been *chefs kiss* but alas. it never happened because glee writers are bastards

- based off my last point: sam actually living at the hudson-hummel house because he actually did live there? but nothing is ever said like what’s the dynamic there why weren’t kurt and sam and finn close if they all lived together for what? like a year? was sam living in the mf shed? did he ever get close to carole and burt?? where tf did he live when everyone went off to college did he just stay in their house lol who knows not me LMAO

- blaine dealing with his trauma ? mental health was never dealt with very well on this show. emma’s ocd was just ignored after she got married or whatever and blaine mentioned his trauma once and then it was ignored until it was mentioned in passing a few seasons later and even he just brushed it off and it was never brought up again like wtf. i have no idea how they wrote a whole episode about hate crime in bash and they never once thought to have blaine and kurt have a single conversation together, let alone a conversation about how they’d both been victims of a hate crime. AND THE ONLY TIME BLAINE DOES MENTION IT IS IN TESTED WHERE ITS JUST USED AS A REASON FOR THEM TO FIGHT AAAAAAAA no wait im calm it’s okay. i just would have liked to have seen kurt and blaine have an emotional moment together in that episode that didn’t include blaine singing and kurt being knocked tf out. just sayin.

- kurt dealing with HIS trauma !! again, glee gets bad points for talking about mental health and it just is crazy that they had so much potential with kurt, ie: depression, anxiety, ocd (kinda?) his bullying, being literally assaulted (i see u ryan murphy taking that whole plot line so loosely mmhm) and then shoehorning in the fact that he was suicidal AT THE SECOND TO LAST EPISODE when they had a whole episode about suicide and they could have mentioned it at any time but ofc they didn’t because the writers just wanted to shove in as much as they could in the flashback episode AYE AYE AYE the potential!!!! oof.

- literally just more tina. jenna ushkowitz is a fantastic actor/singer/preformer and she was criminally underused. i like the episode props because of two reasons: one. everyone switching characters was amazing. and two. some actual tina scenes. even if she.. technically was rachel but also herself or something? either way. i digress

- this is just in general but MORE ABBA AND ALSO THE CARPENTERS and also some sound of music songs would have worked GREAT but they already had like a million songs and as the show progressed they veered away from old songs and more towards popular songs at the time to help chart numbers blah blah blah whatever it’s cool. but also how did they only do a few abba songs that is criminal

- a more fleshed out ending that wasn’t so rushed. like rachel won a tony and everyone else is just? there? why is sam at mr shue’s house ??? how did artie get up the stairs? did quinn graduate from yale? and where tf was kurt and blaine’s child during ‘i lived’ because burt and carole are vibing in the audience and rachel isn’t pregnant so like? is the baby just?? alone somewhere in the wings?! lmao where are u bby girl!! but once again i know they didn’t have the time to do it so idk it’s fine what they did it just sucks we didn’t get more! but again. fanfic exists so yah im all good

- more of blaine’s mum. or mom, in this case i guess. why cast gina gershon and then give her ONE line like ? ik there was a whole deleted script that explained why she was there but i love that up until that point blaine seemed like he genuinely murdered his parents, lived in their big house all alone and when people got suspicious he just told them that they were “out of town” :) either way pam is great i love her and i wish she had more to do in the one episode she was ever in. not even a moment with blaine?? wasted.

- more of cooper anderson, matt boomer is so fucking funny everytime i think of the emotion tornado i bust a lung laughing like it’s so fucking stupid but oh my good i love it. (and if you haven’t watched the special feature of cooper’s transformers audition tape please please watch it because it’s just so funny.) ik he was just a special guest but i wish they got him back for at least the wedding ep but guess my mans was just busy. boo ;(

- going back a couple of points, i wish they’d done a whole episode like props. every actor here just shines when they’re impersonating each other. finn and puck as kurt and blaine is beautiful and quinn and sugar is incredible. also idk why they refused kevin the right to wear the cheerios skirt; they could have put a little more effort into some characters but that’s glee for ya lmao but yeah. a whole episode like that would have been so much fun

- they should have let chris colfer write more episodes. purely for the fact that he wrote with his own bare hands the whole scene where lea michelle’s character gets dragged down a road by dogs. this guy. it’s a shame he only got to write one since he actually did a really good job! i would have loved to have seen what other episode ideas he had :)

- glee in the summer! obviously it only was centred around the school year but after season 3 who honestly gave a shit about the glee club and mckinley lmao i wanna see them in SHORT SHORTS and POOL PARTIES but nope we just got september - june so like rip all my hopes and dreams

- WHAT HAPPENED TO DALTON? bitch just burst into flames ?? and for WHAT?? oh yeah plot convenience smh this is so sad i wish they’d either written something better than “we need the warblers to team up with new directions so uhhh the school burnt down” like. it’s a private school. if the school is gone and they’re just staying at mckinley what are the parents paying for? they’re just cool with sending their kids off to public school now? every adult in this universe has been murdered by these kids, haven’t they? they’re just doing whatever they want jfc

- a wedding was a good episode. ish. and yknow, huge kudos to them because gay marriage wasn’t legal in the us at the time so im less harsh on the fact that they definitely threw up the rainbow flags and made it less about the characters getting married and more so “we have gay characters and look they’re getting married what a concept” but i do wish we could have gotten some more married!klaine since they don’t really have much to do after this understandably but a little moment alone together after the wedding would have been nice :) IT WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE IM TELLING YOU

- get rid of the hummelberry friendship and send mercedes to new york instead. i have nothing else to add to this other than the fact that i mourn the fact that kurt and mercedes went from bffs to just. school mates. this is tragic this is traaaaagic !! and all for more of the rachel berry show smh

- every day i wonder what was going through carmen tibideaux mind when she watched the kurt hummel preform not the boy next door and was like :) and then watched rachel berry have a breakdown on stage and then proceeded to give rachel the spot at nyada and kurt gets payed literal dust. and THEN she had the nerve to tell him it was because his performance had no heart. AND HOW DID ADAM GET IN THIS BABY GOT BACK MOTHERFUCKER?! nyada is a circus school oh my god !!!!! kurt deserved better im telling yall he deserved so much better

there’s so much more i could rant about but im going insane im so tired and i need psychological help after watching glee so im gonna leave it here and say peace out homies it’s been fun but i need to sleep so bad

[loyally-unfaithful]

pairing: rengoku kyojuro x gn!reader

genre: fluff

a/n: henlo is me again, i’ve never owned cats and it shows i made this into headcanon format, but if you were looking for something feel free to resend a request c: alrighty hope you like it

edit: i know this is a super long time since this ask was actually sent to me?? and i honestly have no excuses to give. i’m really sorry to whoever sent the request: i was just procrastinating and then covid hit and my motivation plunged even lower. i know this is not much, and it’s probably ooc to all hell but i do hope you like it.

so ok, here’s the premise: you just moved out of your old residence, whether it was a flat or a house—you’re outta there! you is gone !

and ur friend or flatmate had a litter of cats and u just couldn't help urself but adopt one. they were just that cute.

so u did.

got that bad boi for free too, what a bargain!

and anyway u love that bastard with all ur heart.

it's just a bastard but she’s your bastard so it's all good.

very adorable dainty catto, and you took her to the vets to get her checked up, vaccinated, dewormed, and all that good stuff to make sure she will have a long and healthy lifespan.

u recall that u need to bring her in within 6 months to get her spayed so that there wouldn’t be an accidental litter. the operation is postponed since rn she’s too small, and ur like.

ok, i'll see u in 6 months.

that was 3 months ago.

now u moved out into a new apartment, with ur precious catto in tow.

after u finished bringing in all your boxes and furnitures and such, you thought to yourself, “hey, why not start this new chapter in life with a good start by acquainting myself with my neighbours”.

and that's exactly what u did: u gathered like, a packet of strawberries, and went over to the flat directly in front of urs while rehearsing what you will say in your head.

as you reached the other side and pressed the doorbell, you wondered who lived behind those doors…

first you’ll introduce yourself by name.

maybe it was a married couple? maybe even with a family?

and after that, you’ll tell them that you just recently moved in.

or perhaps it would be some elderly gentleman or lady?

and then, you will hand the gifts over and express that you hoped that the two of you will get along—something like that.

worst case scenario, the person is some weirdo… you hoped not…

the door finally opens with a click and you begin to recite what you had practiced:

« hey my name is... » your voice tapers off as you fully took in the person greeting you.

your voice disappears, meeting someone you absolutely did not expect. out of all the possibilities, you did not think for a moment that your neighbour would be the handsome young man with piercing golden eyes, lustrous locks of bright yellow hair, and an even brighter smile, standing before you.

were you staring? you were staring weren’t you? you realised in embarrassment that you were staring at the man, who was probably confused to all hell as to why you appeared on his front doors.

fighting your urge to combust and run away, you introduced yourself following the script you made up (though with more stutters than originally intended) and brusquely handed the berries over.

he happily takes your gift, repeating your name, assuring you that he was listening. it’s so stupid, but the way he says your name makes your stomach do flips. « well, welcome! he says enthusiastically. i’m rengoku kyojuro! i hope you enjoy it here! »

and that was that.

you mechanically went back to your flat, face burning and nervousness still clawing at you.

you’d say that you got adjusted to this new life pretty quickly. you seldom visited kyojuro as you were too embarrassed to pop by and chit-chat as often as you would’ve preferred to—dreading the thought of crossing him on your way to your own flat whenever you went home—but otherwise everything had been good.

alas, your cat was now 5 months old and oh boy.

something tells you your cat was entering its heat cycle or something—you were a first time cat-owner, but you had an inkling.

if your cat’s sudden affectionate, or over-affectionate, streak and unexpected attention seeking behaviour was anything to go by. she would roll on the floor, rub herself all over you and leave fluff all over your clothes, and yells.

she screm!

most stressful of all was how she absolutely wanted to escape to the outside, but you were not having it. you did not want kittens. one cat is enough thank you.

but nope, your wishes were in vain as one day, she just fucking disappeared—god knows where she is , she’s just somewhere.

understandably, you lost your shit and panicked because holy hell your cat escaped!!!

you went around to look for her, with no luck, and you were absolutely heartbroken.

that was until like??? 2 months later and you went to open a drawer to get some socks and lo and behold!

A CAT

and not just any cat! your cat! AND NOT JUST YOUR CAT! but also a bunch of other smaller cats, also known as kittens!

at this point, you weren’t even upset at the thought that you fucked up and ended up having kittens—you were just happy your cat is back and alive and well and back home. who knows how she entered back into the house.

who cares??

your cat is back!!

you’ll just have to spay her once she’s done nursing.

but as you watched over the litter, which looked like your cat but also another cat, you began to see a resemblance between their orange fur and caprisun, kyojuro’s ginger maine coon!!

and now everything makes sense…  

body working on autopilot, both because of how tired you were after watching over the cats and also because you were still dissociating from the realisation, you stiffly made your way to your neighbour and ringed the doorbell… ignoring the fact that this was now 2 in the morning.

you had to tell him, or confirm or do something with this new knowledge. his sleep can wait.

surprisingly, he answered the door without you having to ring him a second time. unsurprisingly, he looked tired and was ???? at you summoning him at such an odd time in the evening.

« i know that we don’t really talk, you started. but i need to show you something: i think your cat might have gotten my cat pregnant?? »

that caught the blond’s attention enough to wash the grogginess away from his face, and he followed you back to your flat.

normally the idea that a stranger, a good looking stranger no less, was going into your flat would fluster you, but right now you were a man with a plan, you had something to do and that was to show kyojuro the litter of cats.

he was surprised when he saw them, but confirmed that you were probably right, and that his male cat had probably gotten to your cat during her disappearance.

at this point you were a little bit (a lot) overwhelmed by the responsibility that came along with being a parent (and a grandparent), so you were about to ask him to help you coparent for the little buggers.

but he suggested it before you had the chance to, taking initiative:

« then! he expressed emphatically. we must raise this little kitty family together! kyojuro declared. »

and thus began your misadventures together as cat parents.

even though you both had work and a multitude of other things to do during the day (kyojuro still has his own cat to take care of, for that matter), you made it work—perhaps through sheer stubbornness and desire to make things right.

if anything, this whole ordeal cemented the fact that you were officially put off from having real children: if taking care of kittens was this demanding, imagine a whole actual human baby.

no way, no thanks.

you’re good.

hard pass.

funnily enough, after taking turns to take care of the cats and after the shifts to watch over them, you two had become fast friends. despite your reluctance with meeting him again after your disastrous greeting, you found yourself being very comfortable being in his presence and getting used to having him over in your flat (for the cats, of course).

but you would be lying if you said you didn’t enjoy spending time with kyojuro, conversing with him and learning more about each other as you both opened up to one another.

it was when he beamed at a joke you made, wearing his signature exuberant smile and laughing a laugh that you found so adorable, that you realised that you were in too deep. that you were definitely catching feels.

sometimes, you wished that you two would’ve been more than just friends. you wince at the thought that the two of you drift apart after this whole mess was over. but you pushed that inevitability away from your mind.

for the most part, nothing noteworthy ever happened as you took care of the kittens as the two of you fell into a comfortable rhythm.

one day, while you were both taking care of the cats, his exhaustion got the best of him and kyojuro fell asleep. you found him dozing off on the couch when you walked in, and you had to stop for a moment and tiptoe in the piece because of how peaceful he looked as he was resting. it was incredible how impeccable he looked, awake or asleep.

secretly, you took a picture, capturing this moment forever. he looks adorable. you’ll probably show the image later and tell him that he can take it easy for a while seeing as he was worn out and that you just received a few days off.

speaking of sleeping on duty, you’ve caught yourself passing out once or twice (ok a few times, more than just once or twice), but the weirdest part of all was that you would always wake up on your bed instead of wherever you fell asleep.

butterflies would go feral in ur stomach at the implication that kyojuro had been carrying your sleeping form to your bedroom.

but that was what has been happening right?

you think that at some point, you had fallen asleep on kyojuro… but to save yourself from the embarrassment, you chalk that up to your imagination running wild or a dream.

a few months into this ordeal, he pulled you over to another room to talk privately to you (ignoring the fact that there wasn’t anyone else in your apartment except for the cats).

he seemed to carry himself with a hesitance or shyness that was never there, and you found yourself dreading what he was about to tell you. what kind of bomb was he about to drop on you?

before starting, he paused for a moment, resolute… or was that a look of determination in his eyes? you didn’t know what to expect and it made you worried.

« i have something i need to tell you, convey to you! he started, confidence not lost in his voice. there is a burning passion in my heart, and it was about time that i listened to it! i know we’ve only met just recently, but after our time together i realised that i have feelings for you! he uttered your name again, with such gentleness and softness that it made your heart tighten. i like you! »

« i like you too!! you responded quickly, too quickly. you winced at how loud you unintentionally were, but he didn't seem to pay attention. »

instead, a radiant smile graced his features as he realised that you shared the same sentiment. and the same smile spread on your face, happy that he returned your feelings.

slowly, he moved closer to you and like a magnet, you mirrored him.

perhaps a bit hesitant, you could feel the ghost of a kiss over your lips as he leaned towards you, inching ever closer to each other.

but as your lips were about to connect, you hear crying from the other room…

the cats!

you two jerked away from each other, alerted by the sound, before looking back at each other, dumbfounded.

after what felt like an eternity but also an instant, a chuckle escaped you as you began to laugh uncontrollably—overwhelmed by giddiness and the sheer absurdity of this entire situation—and the blond followed suit, laughing along with you.

as you calmed down, your eyes found each other and the two of you just smiled.

the both of you wore brilliant smiles, and you were floored by the tenderness he held for you.

you look like a mess.

and he looks like a mess.

and you're both tired beyond belief.

but you’re both really happy.

and really happy to have each other.

(and your cats of course).

you’ll have to thank your cat later for helping you meet this wonderful person.

LIKE MY WORK? CONSIDER BUYING ME A COFFEE // CHECKING OUT MY MASTERLIST | LINKS CAN BE FOUND ON MY DESC

[justwritethatdown]

Bechloe Week 2020 – Day3: Drunk Texts 

We were bound to be together

An au where Beca didn't get together with Jesse and that allowed her relationship with Chloe to grow.

or

The way Pitch Perfect 1 should have gone ;)

Set during Beca’s first two years at Barden; everything goes as it should, nothing angsty happens and everyone is happy. Just a sloppy falling-in-love story between two college girls, told through their drunk texts, kind of...

Rating: T

Words Count: 2.5K

Thanks to @viharistenno for being my beta

Read here or on AO3

She took my arm, I don’t know how it happened

 After Hood Night, Beca was lying on her bed; the weird buzzing in her brain caused by alcohol made it hard for her to fall asleep. She wasn’t used to drinking and partying with strangers until late night, but she had to admit it wasn’t the worst thing she’d done. That Jesse seemed nice after all, a little pushy maybe, but Beca knew she needed a push sometimes, maybe she should give him a chance-

Her phone buzzed on the nightstand

CHLOE BEALE: Im so glad that I met you xx

BECA: Yeah, you kinda mentioned that…

Beca bit her bottom lip and a bright smile formed on her face. There was something about Chloe, that didn’t make Beca want to push her away. On the contrary, it was rather a pull, that made Beca want to get closer to her.

She placed the phone on her stomach, letting out a heavy sigh, smile still present on her lips. Beca couldn’t believe she actually auditioned for an acapella singing group, just because a crazy – naked – girl told her to, after crushing her shower and forcing her to sing with her; it was a situation that normally would have made her run for the hills and yet, she went to the audition – and she got in – and to the following party. Beca didn’t even know how that happened, Chloe had dragged her into this whole new world, and she was kinda okay with that.

It confused Beca; for the first time her instinct didn’t tell her to push this person away, it told her to get to know her better, to become her friend, but most of all Beca wanted Chloe to like her, she wanted to impress her. She checked her phone to see if Chloe had texted her anything else, but there were no new messages, so she let out another sigh – a disappointed one this time – and put the phone away.

Maybe Chloe was still with shower guy, they seemed to be pretty close at the party. Her stomach twisted and Beca huffed again; the way Chloe had grabbed her arms and how close she got to her while talking, gave her some vibes, for a moment she’d thought that the redhead was flirting with her – a thought she wasn’t completely opposed to – but then she saw her with that guy while she was busy talking to Jesse, and kicked herself for being so delusional, she was well aware they were having sex in the sowers, they were obviously together.

Beca shook her head and rolled her eyes to herself, turning to her side to try to sleep.

  I felt it in my chest as she looked at me

  CHLOE: Admit you had fun tonight! :P

Beca was a bit more tipsy than usual – okay, let’s say she was drunk – but it wasn’t her fault; Amy arrived there with the clear internet of getting the brunette drunk that night. She dumbly smiled at her phone and almost gave in, but then she remembered their bet.

“I don’t know why I let you drag me to this stupid party” she spat out when they arrived at the ΣΒΘ frat house.

“Come on, I bet you’re going to have fun” cheered Chloe making Beca roll her eyes.

“I doubt it” stated the brunette.

“We’re here bitches!” screamed Amy going straight for the alcohol table, followed by Stacie.

When her head started to spin, Beca realized that maybe she’d let Amy fix her one drink too much, but she didn’t care, not when Chloe was leaning in so close to whisper things in her ear – shout actually, to be heard over the loud music – and had one arm wrapped around Beca’s shoulders; the weight of Chloe on her felt amazing and the way Chloe looked at her made her heart do funny things in her chest.

Beca definitely blamed it on the alcohol, but deep inside she knew it was the same feeling she had the first time they met at the activities fair; that smile Chloe gave her and those blue eyes, so deep that Beca felt like she was drowning in them, knocked all the air out of her lungs and she felt her heart racing.

Even if she did run away that time, Beca just couldn’t stop thinking about her, until that girl jumped in her shower, making Beca incredibly frustrated and embarrassed. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t help but looking – more than once – at the girl’s naked body and her mind wandered without her permission. Chloe was undeniably beautiful, and her confidence made her even hotter.

Beca should have known then that she was gone, but – always oblivious to her own feelings – it took her several weeks of parties and rehearsals to know that she had, in fact, fallen head over hills for the redhead.

Suddenly Beca felt Chloe stepping away from her and saw the girl launching herself into Tom’s arms. The brunette found herself downing the remains of her drink and accepting a new one from Amy. The rest of the night is still a blur, she vaguely remembered Jesse helping her through her dorm room door and saying good night, at which she believed she grunted before the guy closed the door behind him.

Beca frowned at the memory and looked back at her phone; there was a new message on the screen

CHLOE: you disappeared tho. Stacie said you left w Jesse :(

BEC: yoy wr wit Tom

CHLOE: I told you I was going to say hi and when I came back you were gone >.<

BEC: are u tofether?

CHLOE: No, I’m alone

BEC: no I mwan ar you datingm

BEC: ?

Chloe started typing and deleting and Beca started to freak out; she’d known this girl for less than a year, she saw her with Tom from day one, she had no right whatsoever to be upset about them dating, even if Chloe had been sending her mixed signals from the start and was annoyingly touchy and loving and not-so-unintentionally made Beca’s head spin more than alcohol did

CHLOE: No, he’s not my boyfriend. We used to be fwb but I ended it a while ago because I started to like someone… :)<3

  Just keep your eyes on me

 The following day Beca felt like shit; her head hurt, and she felt nauseous, that’s why she was immensely grateful to Chloe for dragging her to that stupid party the night before their special rehearsal’s session.

“Remind me to kill you when this is over” she lamented when Chloe greeted her with her usual bright smile – the girl clearly didn’t drink as much as Beca did the night before – and a quick hug

“Can’t wait” winked the redhead, making Beca’s blood boil in her veins.

Chloe really looked amazing that morning and was clearly making an effort to be noticed by the brunette; she managed to make even that idiotic hostess choreography look beautiful. It wasn’t just the dancing, Beca found every movement Chloe made incredibly sexy, maybe because of that half confession she had made the night before, or maybe because Beca knew Chloe was doing it on purpose; she knew it because Chloe basically never dropped her eye contact with Beca, almost like she was trying to cast a spell on her, and maybe she did.

“You’re on a mission today huh?” Beca hushed to her during a break

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” answered Chloe wearing a shit eating grin

“Well, better for me then, I’m enjoying the show” she shot back without thinking too much about it and regretting it right away, but the fire it lit in Chloe’s eyes told her she’d said just the right thing.

“What’s with all this eye fucking?” suddenly spat out Amy, making the room giggle. Except for Beca who became bright red, and Aubrey who cleared her throat glaring at Chloe, who innocently smiled biting her lip.

“Did you finally hook up or something?” asked Stacie in amusement

“Can we focus on the damn choreography?” asked Aubrey grinding her teeth.

  Deep in her eyes, I think I see the future

 Beca’s plan was simple: to go to college for one year, convince her dad that she tried and have him send her to Los Angeles the following year to finally start working towards her dream of producing music. However, something along the way went incredibly wrong, or rather incredibly right, and now all she wanted was to stay there with those nerds who somehow became her family.

The look on Chloe’s face when they won the finals made Beca realize that her future wasn’t in LA, her future was right there with those girls, with Chloe. In that moment Beca felt like she belonged there; she saw her next few years at Barden, with the Bellas, and in the hug they shared, Beca felt that Chloe would be part of her life forever.

The girls celebrated in the Bellas’ sorority house and they all, even Aubrey, got incredibly wasted. Most of the girls had already moved there from their dorms and wouldn’t have to go anywhere after their party.

During the night Chloe made sure to let Beca know, more than once, how sad she was that the brunette had decided to really leave for Los Angeles in the end, instead of moving in with her, and she never left her side the whole night. They drank together and laughed and danced, and they almost kissed, but Chloe pulled away last minute confusing Beca. When Beca asked her why, Chloe mumbled with watery eyes “you’re leaving, what’s the point?”, but immediately cleared her throat and dragged Beca to dance with the others. In her inebriated state, the music and Chloe’s body moving rhythmically against hers, were enough to distract Beca from that statement. Only later, walking back to her dorm, it carved its way back into her mind.

BEC ♡: I not gng to LA  

CHLO: ???

BEC ♡: im stang heee

Chloe’s reply was a string of emojis Beca was too drunk to interpret followed by

CHLO: yoy styng w the bellassssss

BEC ♡: im staying fr you

CHLO: were gnna be cocaptnsss!!!

  This woman is my destiny

 Beca’s second year at Barden started out completely differently from her first one; she was living in a sorority house along with eight other girls and was co-captain of the acapella group she led to victory the year before.

Her relationship with Chloe evolved in a strange way; they acted like a married couple now, but they never crossed the line, both too scared of ruining what they had. With Aubrey gone, the Bellas were their responsibility and Beca knew that was what mattered the most to Chloe, so she chose to focus on their acapella group. For Chloe, not because she was scared of fucking things up, obviously.

Their mutual pinning was clear to all their friends; some of them – Amy – teased them  about it, while others desperately tried to help them figure it out.

One night, during one of their let’s-get-drunk-because-why-not nights, they were playing truth or dare

“Beca” started Stacie “truth or dare?” she asked with a wicked smile, making Beca sweat

“Truth…” tentatively answered the brunette

“Do you have more than platonic feelings for anyone in this room?” asked Stacie raising an eyebrow. Chloe held her breath at that and Beca was the only one to miss it, too occupied freaking out

“Dare” blurted out Beca “dare, I meant dare!” Beca’s heart started beating dangerously fast, hoping that Stacie would have let her change her reply, but the girl’s eyes twinkled and Beca knew she’d fallen right into her trap.

“I dare you… to kiss the girl you have the biggest toner in the world for and release us all from this ridiculous sexual tension you two generate” commanded the tall girl rolling her eyes.

Beca felt all the air leave her lungs. Everything was silent around her and all she could hear was the uneven beating of her heart. She swallowed hard looking at Chloe to see what her reaction had been and the girl’s hesitant smile calmed Beca a little.

Beca wasn’t one to back down from a challenge and the alcohol in her system only made her more competitive, but most of all, there was nothing in the world she wanted more than to finally kiss Chloe, so she crossed the circle they were sitting in to reach the redhead on the other side of it. Chloe was biting her bottom lip in anticipation and Beca could see in her eyes that the girl wanted to kiss her just as much as she did.

Beca gently rested her palm on Chloe’s cheek. They didn’t speak, but they didn’t need words to communicate; their eyes were saying all they needed to say. They expressed how much they both wanted to do this, but only if the other was okay with that, and that it was going to be okay. They completely forgot they weren’t alone.

Beca leaned in and kissed her, Chloe wrapped her arms around Beca’s neck and pulled her closer, letting out a sigh that made Beca’s heart flutter. They stayed there, kneeling in the middle of the living room, kissing slowly and deeply, their lips moved together as if they were dancing. Beca wasn’t sure who deepened the kiss, but as soon as their tongues touched, a million fireworks went off in her brain, covering the sound of their friends whooping and clapping and wolf whistling – Amy – and making her forget her own name.

Beca couldn’t have enough of Chloe’s lips. When the kiss ended and Chloe tried to move away, Beca desperately chased her mouth and started kissing her again, gaining a chuckle from the redhead. The two girls were only separated by Amy accidently bathing them in tequila while waving a bottle in the air, shouting that they had to drink to that.

After two – or was it three? – Bhloe drinks, as Amy had named them, Beca was still snuggled up next to Chloe. They shared some quick kisses during the rest of the night and when they decided to go wrap it up, Beca really wasn’t ready to sleep. All she wanted to do was kiss Chloe all night long and the morning after, and for the rest of her life. When Chloe pulled her in for another kiss, she was happy to welcome Chloe’s tongue in her mouth again

“Good night, baby” whispered Chloe against her lips before leaving.

Beca was lying awake in her bed; she could still feel the ghost of Chloe’s lips lingering on hers. She took her phone and started typing.

BEC ♡: I lied at trth o dre I dont have a tner for you

CHLO: Bec…

*CHLO IS TYPING*

BEC ♡: Im crazy abt yoy! youre my destiny

BEC ♡: you’re

CHLO: you jst gve me a heartattack yoi asshole1

BEC ♡: srry xD

CHLO: wnna cme here to sleep w me?

BEC ♡: we r drnk…

CHLO:  I jut wanna slp

BEC ♡: Any wll tease th shit out of us

CHLO: I don’t care

CHLO: I miss u

Beca didn’t really use much her bed in the Bellas’ house.

[artificialqueens]

Baby Let's Keep It Secret (Jan x Jackie) - Ortega

a/n: i speed-wrote this after being struck with inspiration and a new-found obsession with jankie, so enjoy!! i legit hate it more with every re-read though so i’m submitting before i honestly del-yeet it off the face of the internet. it’s a little piece within the strictly au-verse from one of the background couples’ points of view, and i’m planning to do more of these so keep a lil eye out! i hope u all enjoy anyway, and that u for all the love on chapter 4! it makes me dead happy xxxxxxxx

plot summary: “But now she’s here, on a wet, cold Monday morning, with no texts and no sign of Jackie and a heartbeat that belongs to a hummingbird. Jackie probably regrets everything and Jan has to spend the rest of the competition with her and it’s going to be unbearably awkward.”

***

Jan is the first to arrive at the church hall on Monday morning. It’s freezing, and she pulls her off-shoulder gym sweater over her wrists and fidgets with the sleeves. She both feels the cold and doesn’t. The racing that her pulse is currently doing serves as a heater, and she can’t stop pacing either. She thanks God that the film crew aren’t there this morning, because she doesn’t have very many coherent thoughts, never mind words.

They had won the first episode. Well. “Won” isn’t the right word, but they came top of the leaderboard, and the praise from the judges still rings in Jan’s ears if she thinks about it hard enough:

“The technical elements were all there, and Jan, that choreography was to die for, well done.”

“This partnership is gonna be one to watch, for sure, the chemistry between you two is just incredible!”

“This was a strong first week, keep this up, I can’t wait to see what comes next from you.”

“It was so full of fun and joy, such a cheeky routine and you both created so much tension, good job!”

Although instead of the joy they’d all sparked on Saturday night, instead they now all serve as a reminder as to what happened after that, and Jan feels her face flush hot as the embarrassment hits her all over again, fuck. Why does she have to be such an eager lovesick puppy all the goddamn time? It never ends well. Jan knows that, but she keeps repeating the same behaviour every time she gets a new crush and expects different results.

But Jackie is different. She’s a woman, at least, and that’s new for Jan. Jan’s used to either men- rough, heavy hands, too fast and too slow all at once- or girls- all her high-school experiences that she’s repressed and shoved in the back of a filing cabinet in her mind for future Jan to deal with.

Except they’ve all come bursting out at once like that scene in Bruce Almighty that used to make her laugh so much as a teenager. It was induction day, really, that had caused it all. Jan remembers standing on the opposite side of the room to Jackie Cox and trying not to make it obvious that her gaze was getting drawn to her every five seconds like she was a magnet, the black running leggings and cutout strappy sports bra she had been wearing still sending shivers up Jan’s spine if she thinks about them again. The way her heart had risen to the sky with anticipation and excitement was almost cringeworthy; she had truly felt like a schoolgirl with a crush on a teacher. Okay, Jackie isn’t that much older than her, but Jan knew her, of course she knew her. She is Jackie Cox. You can’t switch on the news without seeing her face, you can’t go on Twitter without seeing people retweet her latest biting bit of government-critical commentary that’s likely going to get her fired one day. Watching her chat with the other girls on that induction day was mesmerising- she was fun and goofy and had a big smile on her face the whole time but she simultaneously exuded a calm and self-assured sense of power that Jan had felt inexplicably intoxicated by.

They’d been paired together and Jan had been so nervous and anxious to impress her and get on well with her but Jackie had just been so relaxed and easy-going and had taken to everything Jan had taught her like a duck to water. When they’d been officially paired on launch night Jan had been so overjoyed that she’d screamed the place down.

And now they’re partners. For the past fortnight they’ve spent every waking moment together, and it’s been both a blessing and a curse. In rehearsals, Jackie is no-nonsense- she wants to learn the dance, and she wants to be taught- but every time they stop for a break Jackie’s goofing around and winding Jan up and pestering her to post this, that and the next thing to Instagram. The woman is limpet-levels of touchy, not that Jan’s complaining. She’s always resting a hand on Jan’s knee when they stop for a break, grabbing her arm as she laughs at something Jan’s said, gently butting her head against Jan’s shoulder when it’s late and they’re both tired but they just have to finish up this last little bit of the routine.

Of course, if Jan notices it with every hour they spend together, then it’s not long until it gets picked up on by others. They’ve gone live on Instagram one day and Jackie’s got her arm around Jan’s shoulders and Jan’s leaning into her. Jan can feel Jackie’s heartbeat and it’s going like a bullet train and Jan wonders if it’s her that’s making Jackie’s heart race as much as it is before dismissing that thought as the delusional ramblings of someone with a too-big crush. They’re answering questions that their fans have sent in and Jan taps on one a little deliberately.

“Jackie, what’s your favourite thing about rehearsing with Jan?” Jan reads, smiling with her tongue trapped between her teeth. She doesn’t dare turn to face Jackie because she can see on screen how close her face is to hers and she doesn’t need that proximity adding to the list of reasons Jackie’s able to mess with her head. Jackie’s looking at her though, and her smirk is so cheeky that it turns Jan’s insides to jelly.

“Uh, nothing, she’s dreadful,” Jackie says, causing Jan to yelp an affronted cry and Jackie to stick her tongue out at her. It’s near the end of their first week of rehearsals and it’s nice that they’re already at the stage that they can joke about in the way that they’re doing.

(Some might call it flirting, but Jan’s loath to get her hopes up so high.)

“No, I think in all seriousness it’s…her smile,” Jackie concludes, and the answer feels like the best kind of gut punch. Jan has to actively control her facial expressions and mold them into something that isn’t just two ginormous heart eyes and a dopey lovesick smile. The smile that Jackie likes the best. Jackie continues, her eyes now cast into her lap as she picks at a bit of fluff on her leggings. “She’s always smiling, she’s always positive. Even if I mess up the routine, she’s still smiling at me and patient with me. And it’s just nice. So…yeah.”

Jan can’t help herself. She turns to face Jackie, deliberately shoots her a dazzling smile. “That’s sweet. Thank you.”

Jackie gives her a little wink that translates to you’re welcome. Jan wants to interpret it as something more, but she can’t hope that much.

That’s when it starts. The first comment scrolls across the screen, then another, then another.

janetmanitoneeeee: omg u guys are too much

strictlyjan2003: something’s going onnnnnnnnn

janstan04: WE ALL SHIP IT

janstan04: JANKIE

Jan tries to ignore them all but they’re relentless and swarming across her screen like locusts, and Jackie points them out before she can do a thing about them.

“What the hell is Jankie? What ship?” she laughs, confused. Jan waves her hand dismissively, gives a snort.

“Oh, God, it’s like…they think we would be good together. Like. As a couple.”

“Oh,” Jackie raises her eyebrows. Jan is blushing slightly as she keeps her eyes trained on the screen. Jackie’s face is surprised, but not unpleasantly so. “So they want to see us bon-”

“Family show, Jaqueline!” Jan laughs, cutting her off before she can reach the end of her sentence. Jackie snorts and the conversation is dropped as they move on to something else.

But Jan wonders how the sentence would’ve ended. Scratch that, she knows how the sentence would’ve ended, and from that day on there’s a change in the atmosphere. Jackie doesn’t look at her the same but that’s not necessarily for the worse. Their routine ramps up a gear- it’s somehow just better. Well, not somehow, there’s a reason. It’s the same reason Jan can feel Jackie’s eyes on her whenever she stretches in rehearsal, whenever she peels a layer of clothing off in a break. It’s the same reason they’ve started openly flirting with each other, and Jackie’s little suppressed smile and raised eyebrows is what Jan imagines cocaine might feel like- she’s not done it, she wouldn’t know. Making Jackie laugh becomes an addiction, spending time with Jackie is an addiction. When Jan gets the tube back from Hounslow and arrives back at her flat all shrouded in darkness she feels as if there’s part of her missing. Which is ridiculous. They’ve only been paired together for a week. Admittedly in that short time there’s been a few tabloid articles about them, the speculation already beginning. Jan would be lying if she said she didn’t like it.

Through it all, they rehearse. They practise and practise until Jan’s muscles ache, because more time rehearsing means more time with Jackie and the more they rehearse means the better they get. It’s a win-win situation. So when they smash their routine on Saturday, really knock it out the park, and get (“Eight!” “Eight!” “Eight!” “Eight!”) 32/40, Jan’s head is spinning. On the floor they were electric and sexy and the sparks were practically flying off them, Jan didn’t imagine it. Jackie doesn’t take her hands off her once it’s done- a protective arm around her waist as they receive their critiques, her hand in Jan’s as they tear up the stairs and give their post-routine interview, both arms around her in a crushing hug after their scores are revealed. An arm around Jan’s shoulders as they weave their way backstage to yet another interview, a hand lazily pressed against her hip. The constant close proximity is making Jan almost lightheaded, and so when they’re finally alone Jan isn’t really thinking straight. That’s why she takes Jackie’s hand and tugs her towards her dressing room, laughing gently at the confusion painting her face.

“Jan, we’ve got to go back to makeup!”

“Just…c’mere!” she giggles, tugging on Jackie’s hand again. Jackie gives her a roll of her eyes and a long-suffering smile, and takes two steps forward to follow Jan into her dressing room. As soon as the door swings shut, Jan can’t control herself any longer and she immediately pulls Jackie in, one hand still tangled in Jackie’s and the other curled around her waist, and Jan is so close she swears she can pinpoint the moment Jackie’s pupils dilate.

“Oh,” Jackie murmurs. It’s nothing, a literal letter of the alphabet, but Jan swears it’s the hottest thing she’s ever heard. Jackie wets her bottom lip with her tongue. “So this is why we’re in your dressing room.”

“Uh-huh,” Jan nods quickly. Her heart gives a concerningly heavy thud as Jackie brings her free hand up to ghost over her neck and tangle in her hair, tousled and wavy for the routine, and Jan thanks Mary, Joseph and baby Jesus that it’s not in some intricate bun. There’s a pause where nothing seems to be happening except the two of them smiling at each other and waiting to kiss. Jan loves it, though, this kind of purgatory they’ve created, so she presses her body against Jackie’s as she drops her voice lower. “You were so good out there, fuck, you were amazing.”

Jackie tries and fails to conceal a smile. She drops her hand out of Jan’s grip and brings it up to rest at her waist. “Did you just bring me in here to compliment me, or are we going to kiss?”

“Fuck, please,” Jan breathes. It only takes that much for Jackie to instantly lean down and close the gap between them. It’s not enough and too much all at once, the tension that’s been building between them finally coming to a head and Jan feels like she’s melting, ice to Jackie’s fire. Her lips are soft and slick with the gloss that makeup applied before they went on stage and Jan is gripped with a sense of longing and wanting that’s so visceral it almost scares her. She pulls her body flush against Jackie’s own and she feels Jackie gasp against her lips. The noise only adds to how embarrassingly needy Jan’s becoming- she’s way too turned on already, shockwaves pulsing through her whole body. It’s a kiss, it’s nothing more than that, and yet it’s better than any sex Jan’s had with a man in her life.

Jackie pulls away. Jan whines, and it elicits a smug smile from the other woman. Jan doesn’t want to know how much of a mess she looks. If it’s half as much as how she feels, it’s going to be too telling. She takes Jackie by the wrist again, pouts as she tries to pull her in. Jackie doesn’t budge.

“Makeup,” she teases. Jan lets out a groan. She cannot go back and interact with other people right now. Her whole world is Jackie.

“Please, just two more minutes,” she begs. For a moment Jan thinks she sees a flash of lust in Jackie’s eyes. She takes the sign of weakness and runs with it, pushing her bottom lip out. “Please?”

“Fuck, Jan,” Jackie laughs, rubs the back of her neck and rolls her head to the ceiling. “You’re so gorgeous and it physically pains me to have to say it but someone’s gonna come bang on this door if we don’t get back soon.”

Jan sighs, doesn’t wipe the pout off her face. Jackie quirks a warning eyebrow at her in return.

“Stop being a brat, c’mon,” she warns her, and Jan would be lying if she said Jackie didn’t just make the whole situation worse.

Or better. Probably better.

They go to makeup and they get their smudges cleaned up and the foundation they’ve sweated off re-applied, and they head back to the studio to watch the final dance of the night, Crystal and Gigi’s. Jan cheers for her friend despite the fact the pair of them are so good at their frighteningly fast Samba that they threaten to topple her and Jackie off the top of the leaderboard. They don’t, but they come close (thirty-one), and as Jan claps she makes a mental note to step up her and Jackie’s choreography tomorrow. The pair of them don’t get another moment alone until they’ve cleaned all their makeup off and got changed back into their comfies ready to head home. Jackie swings by Jan’s dressing room as she’s packing up and Jan involuntarily blushes, remembering the last time they’d both been in this room a mere thirty minutes ago.

“Hey. Crushed it tonight,” Jackie smiles proudly, the praise lighting up both Jan’s face and heart.

“Yeah, we really did that, huh?” she returns her grin, looks to the floor with slight embarrassment. Jackie pauses before she speaks next.

“Well, guess I’ll see you Monday?”

Jan tries not to look disappointed, but really, the single logical brain cell she possesses scolds her, what the hell did she think was going to happen? Her smile becomes fake despite it not physically changing. “Yeah, sure!”

Jackie gives a small laugh. “Sure, Jan!”

Jan has to let out a small snort at that, and she risks meeting her partner’s eyes again. Jackie is hovering at the door.

“I’ll text you,” she smiles decisively, Jan’s hopes instantly being raised as she nods enthusiastically and waves goodnight.

But now she’s here, on a wet, cold Monday morning, with no texts and no sign of Jackie and a heartbeat that belongs to a hummingbird. Jackie probably regrets everything and Jan has to spend the rest of the competition with her and it’s going to be unbearably awkward. All Jan did on Sunday was choreograph their dance, the sexiest tango she could possibly manage, while replaying their kiss in her head and checking her phone obsessively. She feels like an idiot, even more so when Jackie bounces through the door and waves at her with a big grin on her face as if nothing has happened.

“Morning!” she sing-songs as she shrugs her jacket off and chucks her bag down underneath a pile of stacked chairs. Jan blinks at her, taken-aback. “How are you? Good day off?”

“Well, I mean. I was doing choreo, wasn’t exactly a day off,” Jan shrugs. She can’t help but be cold- Jackie is acting as if she’s got short-term memory loss, and it’s killing Jan along with the sweatpants that are slung low on Jackie’s hips and the baggy sweater that’s hiding her thin frame. The shift in tone seems to work and Jackie is looking at her through narrowed eyes, then laughing slightly.

“Shit, yeah, sorry I didn’t text. I honestly was wiped out yesterday, I did a stint on News 24 and then I had like an eight-hour nap in the middle of the day.”

Jan can’t help but quirk a smile at her. “Eight hours? That’s not a nap, that’s a full sleep.”

Jackie shrugs, and her dark eyes soften. Jan is reminded of looking into them on Saturday, her pupils wide and blown, and the memory almost gives her whiplash. “I am sorry, Jan, I can tell you’re mad at me.”

Jan gives a scoff of a laugh, tries to pretend she’s offended. “Mad? I’m not mad at you, God, I’m not…no, I’m chill. It’s fine.”

Jackie raises her eyebrows at her disapprovingly and it makes Jan’s stomach flip over and heat pool low in her stomach. “Yeah, you sound it. Okay, what’re we doing this week?”

Jan swallows before she speaks. “Uh, tango! I thought, y’know, the judges loved our chemistry so much last week so if we play on that it might get us good scores again.”

Jackie’s smile grows on her face and it makes Jan’s heart flutter in anticipation as she takes two steps closer to her. “Mm, good plan. Definitely not seeing an ulterior motive behind that at all.”

Jan is warming up to her but she wants to make Jackie suffer just a little so she flips her golden ponytail over her shoulder and turns away from her, fiddling with her phone and scrolling to the song she’s chosen. To her satisfaction, Jackie follows her over to the speaker near the raised little stage at the other end of the hall, jumps up so that she’s sitting on it and swings her legs. “What’s it to?”

Jan bites back a smile. “React.”

“As in Pussycat Dolls, React?” Jackie grins at her. Jan is fighting to hold back her smirk as Jackie inspects her nails. “That’s kind of ironic.”

“I don’t know what you mean,” Jan shrugs lightly, making to walk into the centre of the room when Jackie shoots a hand out and takes her by the wrist.

“Hey,” Jackie murmurs, pulling her close. Jan is standing right in front of her and Jackie’s knees are digging into her stomach a little, but she doesn’t mind. “I was thinking about you yesterday. I promise I didn’t forget about Saturday night.”

Jan raises her eyebrows in slight disbelief. She’s about to make some comment about not missing her enough to text her, but Jackie spreads her legs and guides her in between them so that they’re close. The action makes Jan’s eyes flutter shut in a heavy blink as she attempts to gather her thoughts. Jackie squeezes the hand she’s taken.

“You’re really cute,” Jackie says bluntly, and Jan feels the blush hit her face like she’s been slapped.

“You’re really cute,” Jan parrots back at her, her knees almost turning to jelly when Jackie reaches out and tucks a small strand of loose hair behind her ear. There’s a moment where they’re both just gazing into each others’ eyes, and Jan feels as if it’s straight out of a movie scene. Her heart almost hurts with how much she likes Jackie.

Jackie drops her voice low to a whisper, pulls Jan closer. “Can we kiss in a church?”

Jan feels like she’s just been shocked by a defibrillator. “Well. Jesus might be watching.”

“I’m sure he’ll allow it,” Jackie shrugs before tilting her head, sliding her hands onto Jan’s waist, and meeting her lips with her own. Jan melts into her slowly, refrigerated chocolate on a hot day. This kiss is different to the one they shared on Saturday night- they know it’s just them, and they know they have all the time in the world so they kiss as if time doesn’t exist. It’s so early that Jan can taste Jackie’s mint toothpaste, and the realisation makes her heart give a twinge of affection. Jackie does like her, and Saturday wasn’t a mistake, and the blood in her veins races in anticipation because something is happening between them and it’s more exciting than any glitterball trophy.

Jan breaks the kiss this time, the petty side of her still wanting the upper hand, but she doesn’t move her arms from their position looped around Jackie’s neck and resting on her shoulders. She doesn’t even try to conceal the smile that appears on her face as she watches Jackie’s eyes flutter open lazily, the moment so unexpectedly tender that it knocks her for six.

“Is this a thing now?” she finds herself saying before she can stop the words rushing out of her mouth, and she instantly wants to cringe. Too keen, too eager, too enthusiastic. Although the panic rising in her throat dissipates when Jackie tries to stifle a grin and fails.

“Fuck, we’re the worst kind of cliché. Strictly curse got us by week three,” she groans, tilting her head to the cracks in the ceiling. She brings her gaze back to look Jan in the eye, suddenly turning serious. “We’re going to have to keep this quiet, though. Not that I’m ashamed or anything, sorry, that came out wrong. I just don’t want anyone thinking this is some cheap stunt we’re using to get votes because it’s…more than that. To me, anyway.”

The affirmation Jackie’s just given her sends Jan’s hopes rocketing skywards and this time she doesn’t even try to lower them. The smile on her face turns scheming. “I can sneak around if you want, although I don’t know how easy it’s going to be for you to keep your hands off me, Miss Cox…”

Jan laughs as Jackie groans and shoves her away playfully. As much as Jan wants to pin her to the stage and smother her with kisses and maybe a little more (the thought of fucking in a church is too much to entertain at this particular moment), she straightens her posture decisively and grabs her phone.

“Right, we need to rehearse. Because the better we do in this competition, the longer you get to spend every single day with your hands all over me. And that’s just during rehearsals.”

Jan shoots Jackie a wink and Jackie laughs as she saunters across to the middle of the room to warm up.

If Jan’s got anything to do with it, they’re not going to be leaving the competition any time soon.

[clumsyclifford]

hello!!! so i would be very interested in a fic based on all i want to hear you say by sea girls??? i know i’m promo ing them a lot but i think it could be a good fic concept??

you know what’s wild meg is i have had this prompt in my inbox for fully almost seven months and i was just reaching a point where i figured i would never write it. and then i did. so there’s your lesson in never deleting a prompt am i right

thank you @allsassnoclass for your invaluable feedback i love you

read it here on ao3

-

Calum only sees it because he has Luke’s Twitter notifications turned on, although if Michael asks, Calum doesn’t even know Luke’s on Twitter.

@LukeHemmings Tweeted:

missed u manchester!!

At which point he does the only logical thing: he excuses himself to the bathroom in the back and hyperventilates for about five minutes. And then he does a second, decidedly more idiotic thing.

“...Hello? Calum?”

“Hi, uh,” Calum clears his throat. “Hi. Luke.”

It is Luke on the other end. Somehow he hasn’t changed his number. Not that people typically change their numbers after only a year, but Luke is different. Luke is famous now. Not like Calum, whose band has been playing this bar since he was old enough to drink here. Since they were old enough. 

Calum wonders what would have happened if Luke had never left. Maybe the band would have gone somewhere. Now he’ll never know.

“Calum,” Luke says. It might be wishful thinking, but Calum is pretty sure he sounds happy. “What’s up? Haven’t heard from you in a while.”

Yeah. Since Luke moved to London. Well. Since Luke got cast in a play in the West End and relocated in less than a week. Calum knows exactly when they last spoke was, and not only because there’s a time stamp on the text messages. Luke’s play — okay, the play Luke is starring in — had been a smashing success, and after he’d left Calum on read three times in a row, Calum had gotten the unsent message loud and clear. 

He’d thought they were the kind of friends distance could never conquer, but apparently he’d been mistaken.

Now he’s not sure what to say.

“Yeah, sorry,” he manages, awkwardly chewing the inside of his cheek. “It’s, life got busy, you know, uh, you know how it is.” Duh. Of course he knows how it is. He’s fucking Luke Hemmings. If anyone’s going to understand life getting busy, it’s Luke. “I just, I saw you were in town.”

“Oh, yeah,” Luke says, laughing a bit. “I am, yeah. I should’ve called, my bad.”

“No, no,” Calum says quickly. “It’s — no worries.” Lucky I’ve got you on Twitter notifs, isn’t it, he doesn’t add. “How long are you here?”

“Just the weekend,” Luke says. “I go back on Monday.”

It’s out before Calum can stop himself: “D’you want to have lunch or dinner or something?” He swallows. “While you’re here?”

Someone knocks on the bathroom door. “Calum?” Michael. Fantastic. The last person Calum needs to hear from right now.

“Give me a minute!” Calum says, kicking the door. He winces. “Sorry. Mi— I’m, uh, possibly hiding in the bathroom. During my shift.”

Luke huffs a laugh. “I’d love to get lunch or dinner or whatever,” he says. It doesn’t even sound like he’s lying. Then again, this man is nominated for an Olivier. He could convince Calum he was interested in diving into an active volcano.

(He certainly managed to convince Calum that he was interested in him, so Calum should probably know better by now.)

“You could come to our show,” Calum says, because he’s petty. Or a fucking masochist. It’s possible to be both. “The band, I mean. We have a gig on Saturday night?”

“Oh!” Luke sounds surprised. Probably because he hadn’t anticipated the band staying together after he’d left. This isn’t fucking Take That, Calum thinks bitterly. Maybe being famous has gone to Luke’s head more than Calum had originally thought.

Except then Luke says, “Shit, I’d love to come to a gig. I’ve missed you lads. You want to get dinner before? After? What time is the gig?”

And Calum’s right back where he started: hopelessly infatuated.

“Gig’s at six, so yeah, dinner afterwards,” Calum says. He shifts nervously on his feet. “Don’t get excited. Our venue hasn’t changed.”

“Still the pub?” Luke sounds fond. “Aw, I miss that place, though. I’m looking forward to coming back.”

You don’t need an invite, Calum thinks. You can just show up.

That might not be true anymore, though.

“Sure you can handle it?” he says drily. “I mean, you’re not worried about crazed fans?”

Luke laughs awkwardly. “In a cheap bar in Western Manchester? Think I’ll be okay.” Calum’s trying to work out whether that’s a subtle dig when Luke adds, “Look, I’ve gotta run, actually, some — press things, but, uh, I’ll be there at six.”

“Great,” Calum says. “Fantastic. See you then.”

“See you then,” says Luke. He hangs up. Calum puts his phone in his pocket and stares judgmentally at himself in the mirror.

“Stop looking at me like that,” he mutters, rolling his eyes and turning away to return to his job. 

— 

The fucking A string is fucked up. Calum has been trying to tune his bass to no avail — no matter how much he turns the tuning peg, the tuner won’t declare it a clear A. “Michael,” he says sharply, “my bass won’t tune.”

Michael materialises, his guitar slung over his shoulder. “Because you’re turning the wrong fucking knob,” he says. Calum looks over at his fingers. 

Oh.

“Oh,” Calum says embarrassedly. He moves his fingers and tunes the A string, then moves to the D string, which has gone completely flat thanks to Calum’s mistaken fiddling.

“You’re all nervous because Luke’s coming,” Michael says, shaking his head to let Calum know exactly how he feels about that. “Stop worrying about it. He didn’t give a shit about the band when he was in it, he definitely won’t give a shit now that he’s out, alright?”

“Not helping,” Calum says, glaring. “And that’s not fair to Luke and you know it. He cared about the band. What was he supposed to do, not accept a life-changing opportunity?”

Michael just rolls his eyes. They usually avoid discussing Luke. It always ends with Michael disparaging his name and Calum jumping to his defence, with Ashton stuck uncomfortably in the middle. Ashton had only been in the band about two weeks before Luke left — he’d never gotten the chance to know Luke. Calum also suspects Ashton just doesn’t want to get involved, because it had been clear to anyone in the room during rehearsals that Luke loved it. Calum doesn’t blame him for leaving. 

Just because he misses Luke like a lost limb, doesn’t mean Calum holds it against him.

“Whatever,” Michael says. “Long as he doesn’t try to rejoin.”

They could use Luke in the band again, but Luke���s more likely to dive into that active volcano than ask to rejoin the band, especially if Michael’s got that look on his face. “Yeah, Mike, I promise I won’t let the Olivier-nominated Luke Hemmings rejoin our band if he asks,” Calum says flatly.

Michael makes a face. Calum makes one back. 

“Boys,” Ashton interjects, sensing the tension lifting. “Less flirting, more setting up, please?”

Calum immediately throws an arm around Michael’s shoulders and grabs Michael’s head. Michael doesn’t protest when Calum smacks an exaggerated kiss to his cheek, because he’s amazing and the best friend ever. “But father, I love him.”

Michael clutches Calum melodramatically in return. “You can’t keep us apart, Ashton! You’ve been against intra-band love since the very first, but Calum’s the only man for me!”

And then he dissolves into giggles, taking Calum down with him.

“I can’t fucking stand the pair of you,” Ashton says, grinning wryly down at them.

“Someone’s jealous,” Calum snickers. “Mikey, I think Ashton wants in.”

“Hey, Luke’s here,” Ashton says. Both of them jerk upright like soldiers called to attention. “Sure, Luke can get you to behave and he’s not even in the band anymore, but when I ask it’s like talking to a wall? I see how it is.”

Michael kicks at his cajón. “Fuck off.”

Calum tries to turn subtly without looking like he’s turning. Sure enough, Luke is standing at the bar, chatting with Alex who’s behind it and preparing a drink. Probably a tequila soda. That had always been Luke’s order. He glances over at the stage and catches Calum’s eye.

Calum might as well be a year younger for how it still feels to meet Luke’s gaze.

This isn’t the Luke that left a year ago. Calum hadn’t expected that Luke. The news feeds have provided him with both mental and literal images of this new Luke, Luke Hemmings of the stage. Swanky clothes. Longer hair. Gone are the lip piercing, the ratty snapback that used to hide what Luke deemed “bad hair days” as if his hair ever looked different, the beaten trainers. If Luke looked worse, Calum would feel better.

But Luke doesn’t look worse. He just looks good in a different way. In fact, he looks better. More importantly, he looks far too expensive to be hanging around this sketty pub. Despite seeing photographs of him online nearly every day since his departure, Calum is taken aback by how much has changed in a year.

He’s not equipped. That much is clear. This had been a mistake. Calum’s going to open his mouth and instead of saying hello he’ll say I can’t believe you became more gorgeous and  you’re back just to mock us and laugh at the band you used to front and make me feel like even more of an idiot for thinking you liked me.

“It’s six,” Michael informs Calum, tapping his shoulder. Calum whips around, startled. The neck of his bass almost knocks over the mic stand. Michael raises an eyebrow. “We can start playing, yeah?”

“I’m ready,” Calum says. Michael gives him a Look. “I am,” Calum repeats. “Are you?”

“Yes,” Michael says huffily. He steps up to the microphone and turns it on. Calum takes his spot at his mic and waits for Michael to introduce them — “We’re 5 Seconds of Summer, and we hope you like our set!” — before going straight into ‘Unpredictable.’

He tries not to watch Luke for the whole set, but he can’t really help it. Not only is Luke the most magnetic person in the bar no matter how much it fills up, he’s also sitting directly in Calum’s line of sight. Intentionally? By coincidence? Calum decides he doesn’t want to know. Because it’s probably the latter. 

He does see someone approach Luke for an autograph and a photo at one point, though. Which is so weird that Calum forgets his next lyric and Michael shoots him another Look. 

The audience grows slowly throughout their set; Calum recognises a lot of the regulars, smiles and waves to the ones who smile and wave first. Behind the bar, Alex air-guitars along to their cover of ‘What’s My Age Again,’ as usual. Before Calum knows it, they’re playing their last song.

There’s no pretending they wouldn’t be better with two guitarists instead of just one, but Calum has to admit: as three-piece bands go, they’re pretty fucking incredible. Even if they never make it big, Calum can rest easy knowing it’s because of bad luck, not lack of talent. 

“Thank you so much,” Michael says into the microphone. “We’ve been 5 Seconds of Summer, check out our Facebook page for information on future gigs.”

“Thank you, everyone,” Calum contributes, then steps away to let the scattered applause wash over him. 

Luke is clapping loudest of all. He would do that, as an alumnus of the band. If bands can have alumni.

When the attention of the room at large moves away from them, they set to taking apart and packing up their equipment. Calum is coiling up the cord for his bass when someone taps him on the shoulder.

“That was wicked,” says Luke. Like they’re not the first words he’s said to Calum’s face in a year. Calum stares at him. His face is glittering. Oh. That’s makeup. It’s shimmering on his eyelids when he blinks. Gold, sparkly. Pretty. Does Luke wear makeup now? Or is he only wearing it tonight because it’s a special occasion? Even though it’s really not a special occasion? It must be the former. Luke wears makeup now. He doesn’t post a lot on Instagram — yes, Calum has notifications on for him there, too — and when he does it’s usually show-related stuff, in show makeup. Point being Calum’s earlier theory is once again proving itself true: he is not equipped.

“Thanks,” he says after he’s made is sufficiently awkward with his fucking staring game. He smiles. “Could’ve probably used another guitarist, but we do alright, yeah?”

Luke ducks his head. Great, really well fucking done, Calum. Way to guilt him. “I’m teasing,” he hurriedly assures Luke. “Thanks for coming.”

“Do you need a hand?” Luke gestures at the mess of cords around Calum’s feet.

Calum opens his mouth, but Michael, unfortunately, beats him to it. “We’re okay,” he says, stepping forward. “Hi, Luke. Nice of you to make an appearance.”

“Michael,” Calum hisses.

Luke bites his lip. “Hey, Michael. It’s, uh. You guys sounded sick, I was telling Calum.”

Even Calum can hear the no thanks to you on the tip of Michael’s tongue. “Which I agreed with,” he says, looking at Michael like be fucking civil. “Because we did.”

“Yeah,” Michael scoffs. “Well, Cal, if you want to go on your date, Ash and I can handle the rest of the cleanup.”

Calum frowns and blushes at the same time, which feels funny. “I’m — I can —”

“Honestly, go,” Michael says, sighing. “If it’ll get Luke out of here, then go.”

“Jesus Christ, Michael,” Calum snaps. “Get your head out of your arse, would you? If you’re offended that Luke took an opportunity for success, then one of you is a dickhead and it’s not him.”

Michael’s face hardens. He snatches the half-coiled cord out of Calum’s hands. “Go,” he repeats. It’s not a request this time.

Calum grinds his teeth and turns to Luke, who’s frozen in place with a pained expression. 

“Ignore him,” he says tightly. “He’s been a dick about the whole thing. Let’s just go.”

Luke hesitantly follows after Calum. “I didn’t realise —” 

“Great set!” Alex calls, wiping down the bar. Calum manages a smile just for him. 

“Thanks,” he says, then glances over at Luke. “Yeah. I reckon I should have warned you.”

“I meant it that I’ve missed you lot,” Luke says mournfully. “I mean, I knew he wasn’t pleased, but…I sort of hoped he’d have gotten over it? Not that— I know I left, so I did ask for it —”

“Luke, come on. Don’t be thick.” Calum scoffs as they leave the bar. “It’s a Michael problem. He just thinks it’s an Olympic sport to hold the longest grudge or something. I love him, but he’s a fucking arsehole when he wants to be.”

“I — I know, but…” Luke sighs. “Yeah. I guess.”

The evening air is cool. Around them, shops and street lamps flood the road with illumination. The gold on Luke’s face catches the light like it’s being paid to do it. Calum only glances briefly at him before looking back at the pavement ahead and asking, “So…what do you fancy for dinner?”

“I seem to recall a Maccies this way,” Luke says. “I know it’s not the most elegant of places, but…”

“Say no more,” Calum says. “You never need to convince me to get Maccies.”

— 

They sit across from each other, quiet for a few minutes as they both devour their burgers. Luke’s nails are painted with clear gloss. Calum isn’t sure if it’s the theatre effect or just the London effect that’s given him this extra glamour. Or the fame thing. Which is still decidedly strange. And also reminds Calum:

“Congrats, by the way.”

Luke looks up, confused. “Huh?”

“On the Olivier nomination,” Calum says. Luke smiles. “That’s a big deal.”

“It’s, uh, yeah. A bit.” He laughs. “Okay, a lot. It’s mad. Thank you.”

“You deserve it,” Calum says. “The play’s —” No. Nope. That’s not something he wants to admit to. “I’ve heard it’s good,” he amends quickly, but it’s too late. Luke, who is the definition of selectively perceptive, squints.

“Have you seen it?”

Calum presses his lips together. His silence could probably speak for itself, but whatever. “I saw it last month,” he confesses. “My mum got us tickets, me and her and Mali.”

Luke stares. “And you didn’t think to tell this to me? Or ring me while you were in London?”

“You didn’t ring me when you came here,” Calum retorts. 

Luke bites his lip. “Touché. But why didn’t you say hello?”

Calum huffs a laugh. “You ignored my last three texts, Luke. I know how to take a hint.”

At this, Luke smacks his palm to his forehead. “Fuck. Shit. Fuck. I never replied to you. I’m so sorry. I kept reading them at the worst times and then forgetting to respond. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

“I’m really sorry,” Luke repeats. “I didn’t mean to fall out of touch, honest. I just…”

“Got busy,” Calum finishes. “I know. You don’t have to tell me. And look, not for nothing, the play’s bloody brilliant. So your hard work hasn’t been in vain.”

“God, I’m a fucking idiot,” Luke says, like he hasn’t heard Calum speak. “Just the other day I was thinking of you. Wondering why you never reached out. I figured you were upset at me for leaving. Like Michael.”

“What? And you didn’t think to shoot me a text, maybe?”

“I thought you were cross! I didn’t think you would want to hear from me!”

“Luke —” Calum breaks off and shakes his head. “Can’t believe I thought you were any different when you’re actually the same fucking moron who left here.”

“Hey,” Luke halfheartedly protests. “Fucking moron who’s nominated for an Olivier.”

“Oh, excuse me,” Calum says, rolling his eyes and grinning. Luke laughs almost to himself. “Look, it’s okay. We’re good now, yeah?”

Luke nods. “Promise to text you back from now on. And if I don’t, it’s not because I don’t want to hear from you. Just keep texting me. I’ll — I’m —”

“Don’t tell me you’re busy,” Calum says. “I know you are. I read the articles. How you find the time to do interviews and also a show eight times a week is beyond me.”

Luke quirks his lips. “You read those?”

“Of course I do,” Calum says. At first it was just to see if you’d say anything about me, he does not say. “Number one Hemmo fan.”

Luke laughs. “You didn’t even wait at the stage door to say hello. You’re nowhere near the number one fan.”

Calum scoffs in mock offence. “Yeah? Do your other fans know your drink order? Do they know who your first concert was? Do they have your phone number?”

“That’s not being a fan, you idiot, that’s being my friend,” Luke says, laughing.

Calum waves him off. “Same thing.”

“So what have you been doing?” Luke prompts once he’s polished off his burger. The napkin crinkles in his hands when he wipes his fingers, an action which becomes entirely pointless as he munches on the oily chips that had come with his meal.

“I still work at the bar,” Calum says. “Mike and I both. My, uh, my life is basically the same, honestly. Except we get paid slightly more to play now.”

“You should be playing the O2,” Luke says. “You’re really good.”

“Yeah, well.” Calum shrugs. “Can’t all have our dreams come true.” 

Remorse crawls over Luke’s face. Shit. Calum isn’t doing it on purpose. It’s just that sitting here, eating greasy fast food, it’s so easy to forget that they live in different worlds now. Passerbys peering through a window at them could surely tell, though. Calum’s Rolling Stones shirt and black snapback are no match for Luke’s carefully styled curls and leather jacket. It’s not a ratty leather jacket, either, but one of the really nice ones. Probably Gucci or something equally outrageous.

It doesn’t mean Calum’s any less smitten. Just that the crater between them might be too vast to cross, and Calum keeps forgetting there’s a crater at all until he nearly trips over the edge. Moments like now, where the look on Luke’s face is that of a kicked puppy. 

“Calum,” he starts, but Calum shakes his head.

“Never mind, sorry,” he says. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“You did a bit, though,” Luke says. “Right? You wouldn’t have said it if you didn’t mean it a bit.”

“I’m not guilting you for doing what you love, Luke,” Calum says firmly. “I’m not. Anyway, I’m doing fine. Better, even. Don’t get a guilt complex, please. I’m happy for you, I’m happy myself, everything is fine.”

Luke grimaces and stuffs several chips in his mouth. Calum chomps down on one of his own. It’s a bit soggy but at least sufficiently salted. Not the best chips he’s had, though far from the worst.

“We left things a bit weird, though, didn’t we,” Luke says, staring determinedly at the table.

Calum nearly chokes on his chips.

A bit weird is probably the right way to put it. Calum’s been rejected in some pretty harsh ways, but having the boy in question pack up and move to a whole new city had been a first for him. If it had been a clear-cut rejection then maybe Calum could have handled it. It was the uncertainty that had done him in. Maybe that’s why he never made a real effort to stay in touch.

It’s one thing when your friend won’t answer your texts. It’s another when you really thought that friend had been into you, only for him to turn around and announce that instead of going out with you he’d be moving to London.

“I don’t mind if we just move past that,” Calum says now, hoping in vain that his voice won’t betray how much he has not moved past it. He’s an adult. He can be friends with someone he also fancies an embarrassing amount. He hadn’t intended to mention the whole will-we-won’t-we thing they’d done just before Luke had left. There’s not a lot to say about it.

“Do you mind if we don’t move past it? Yet?” Luke says nervously. “Can I say something and then we can move past it if you still want to?”

Calum swallows. What the fuck could Luke possibly have to say about it, other than to maybe apologise for leading Calum on the way he did? “Uh, I suppose?”

Luke clears his throat. “Okay. Well, um, I just wanted to say that…I think when I left, that you maybe got the impression I was turning you down. And. I wasn’t. At all. I didn’t want to leave you, it was just what made the most sense, being in the play and everything. Um, and I didn’t really say anything because it wouldn’t have been fair of me to tell you I liked you when I was also moving four hours away — like, I didn’t want to do that to you.” He laces his fingers together on the table. “But you, um, seemed. Hurt. And I didn’t know how to tell you before, so I’m telling you now, it wasn’t because I didn’t like you. I did. I do.”

Calum must forget to breathe, because it’s dead silent around them. Luke finally looks up and winces. “Also, this isn’t a guilt trip, so like— if you have a boyfriend now, that’s— sorry, I guess I should have checked?”

“I don’t have a boyfriend,” Calum says. “The bloke I was hoping would be my boyfriend decided to move to London and become a star, and I haven’t exactly gotten over him yet.”

A small, tentative smile pulls at Luke’s lips. “Really?”

“You sure took your time clearing that up,” Calum says. His heart is beating unreasonably fast, but he thinks it’s probably excused on the basis that the boy he’s fancied for two years and who would’ve broken Calum’s heart had Calum gotten the chance to share it with him is now returning his feelings. Exhilaration flutters around his chest, and he smiles. “But yeah, really.”

Luke’s face breaks into a genuine smile. He pushes a strand of hair behind his ear. “Oh, thank God. I thought after this long—”

“Underestimating just how much I like you, obviously,” Calum says. Luke brightens like a fucking spotlight. “Though it’s been the same amount of time for you, so if I have problems, then so have you.”

“Who’s got problems?” Luke says. “This is the opposite of a problem. I’m thrilled.”

“You do still live in London,” Calum points out, because again: masochist.

A shadow crosses Luke’s face, but it quickly disappears. “That’s— it’s only four hours.”

“Only.”

“Okay, it’s—” Luke squeezes his eyes shut. “I don’t— shit. Look. I know it’s not practical, okay? But can we just pretend it is? So this isn’t a complete loss? I’m here until Monday morning.”

“One whole day,” Calum says. “Lucky us.”

“Yes,” Luke says decisively. “Be my boyfriend for a day, Cal. We’ll figure it out from there.”  

Every objection Calum has flies from his mind at Luke saying be my boyfriend. Struggling to maintain his composure, he hedges, “Really? You want to have a boyfriend who lives in Manchester and works in a bar and doesn’t even know how to identify what makeup you’re wearing? Which looks fantastic, by the way? And did I mention the whole living-in-Manchester thing? You know, four hours from London?”

Luke fixes him with a look. “Yeah, I want you to be my boyfriend, Calum. And all of the things that includes. It’s worth it to me.”

And. Well. Shit. “It’s worth it to me, too,” Calum admits. 

Maybe if he’d said that a year ago, Luke would have listened. Maybe they’d have gotten here much sooner. But at least they’re here at all.

Luke reaches across the table and his lips quirk up. “That’s all I want to hear you say.”

For a moment, Calum imagines that life is easy. Luke could always leave the show. Move back to Manchester. Spend late nights and early mornings in Calum’s flat (having made up with Michael, who splits Calum’s rent and living space). Do his makeup in their bathroom mirror and explain it all to Calum as he goes. Rejoin the band despite Michael’s initial stubborn grudge, and finally reclaim his role as lead singer, finally doing justice to melodies Calum and Michael could never quite sing the same way. If Luke had never been cast, Calum wonders if that’s how their lives would be. 

But it’s not how their lives are, and Calum doesn’t want that anyway. Luke is doing what he’s born to do, and Calum would never forgive himself to pull him away from that. He doesn’t want it to be easy. The fact that Luke knows it won’t be easy and is willing to take it on anyway means far more, to Calum.

They can figure it out.

He laces his fingers with Luke’s and squeezes once, smiling when Luke smiles. So much is different, but fuck if that’s not the same beaming, blushing smile that’s always been just a little too big for Luke’s face. There’s hope for them yet. Calum can feel it.

[mochiyoonfi]

Our Utopia PT 2

Synopsis: The sequel to ‘Our Utopia’

Universe: idol reader

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Warnings: Angst, mentions of rape, assault and PTSD. No graphic descriptions but still may be triggering. Smut in next chapter.

Words: 3.2k

You lay in your bed, staring up at the ceiling. Your debut song was playing in the background.

It was successful. The public loved you. And you were happy. The other girls were always so hardworking and excited to debut, it was hard not to get caught up in the euphoria.

Ji-Eun entered the room, pausing in the doorway to look at you. “Are you listening to Sonder again?”

You nodded.

She sighed, sitting down on the bed next to you.

“I don't need to talk right now, Ji.” You warned.

Smiling, she lay back on the bed with you. “I never said a word.”

Pressing play on your CD Player, your only elder in the dorm closed her eyes, relaxing next to you.

Emotions and thoughts swirled in your mind.

You had moved out of BTS’s dorm weeks ago. Now living with the girls in your group, you spent your time practising. Trying your best not to give yourself too much time to think, or any time to miss the seven members of BTS.

But right now, lying next to one of your closest friends, you knew the truth.

You missed them.

“I have the results of your wellness checks. Do you want to give these out, Jungkook?”

Jumping up to grab the papers, Jungkook’s eye caught on a picture of your group. He held it up.

“Hitman Bang?” Jungkook asked. “This was in the middle of the pile.”

Bang Shi Hyuk took the poster, smiling. “They're doing well, aren't they? Namjoon, your sister is very talented.”

Namjoon grinned. “Of course she is.”

“Smart too. I guess she has to be, to get that fancy psychology degree and all.”

Eyes wide, Namjoon blinked slowly. “U-uh? Degree? What Psychology Degree?”

“You didn't know?” Bang Shi Hyuk asked. When all seven boys shook their heads, he sighed. “Y/n has a Psychology degree. She even helped out with your mental health! Free of charge! She's a sweet girl.”

“I almost understand why she didn't tell me but you're her brother?” Yoongi asked.

Namjoon sighed. “I had no idea…”

“Why didn't she tell us?” Taehyung frowned, hurt evident on his face. But the hurt wasn't almost as obvious as Namjoon’s.

He was her brother. They were closer than anyone else was.

Why didn't she trust him?

“Is now a good time to talk?”

You looked up to see Ji-Eun standing at the foot of your bed, smiling as she offered you a milkshake.

“I guess. What do you want to talk about?”

Her dark eyes met yours. “You're unhappy. So I want to know what's wrong.”

You let out a large sigh. “I just.. Feel out of place, you know? You're all so carefree and happy… But I'm not.”

“Y/n that's not true-”

“Lots of stuff has happened to me.” Holding onto all restraint you concentrated your hardest to make sure your voice was steady. “I’ve not been happy… There have been times I just wanted to give up.”

You flinched, Ji-Eun reassuringly slipping her hand into yours. “It's okay Y/n. I'm here for you.”

In that moment you could’ve cried. You could’ve let yourself be vulnerable to her, lay everything in your past out to her. But you wouldn’t. She didn't deserve to have a weighted conscience. So, instead of telling her everything, you let her into the shallower depths of your trauma.

And finally, after an hour of soft sorrows and comfort, Ji-Eun finally spoke. “Y/n. I think I know what to do.”

Your eyes lit up. “What should I do, noona?”

“Do what feels right.” A warm smile spread across her face, showing you the comfort you often missed from other people. “What feels right to you?”

Taking a deep breath, you finally made your way downstairs, bags packed and heart racing.

“Hi... Girls..”

Heeyoung grabbed you into a hug. “You know we love you right?”

It hadn't been your plan to cry.

You had spent the last ten minutes in your room preparing yourself to stay strong. To keep a happy face.

But that plan was already ruined.

Feeling tears streaming down your face, you clasped onto her back. “I know.”

She pulled back, grinning widely. “Then you're free to move out. We’ll still see you at rehearsals?”

It was a question. She wasn't asking if you were going to show up at rehearsals. No. The question was ‘Are we still going to hang out like normal?’.

“I love you, girls, too.” You replied, embracing Luna then Baram. Finally noticing the emptiness of the room, you turned to Ji-Eun.

“Where's Aiko?”

Ji-Eun smiled. “She insisted that you had to drive back with her. She’s not going to take no for an answer.”

Feeling your heart warm, you smiled back. “I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

“So why are you going back exactly?” Baram asked.

“I… I miss my brother. I want to spend more time with him.” It wasn’t exactly a lie. Just not the whole truth.

Taking a deep breath, you entered the dorm. Immediately you could hear footsteps rushing downstairs.

“Y/n! You’re back! I missed you so much!”

Your brother crashed into you, hugging you tightly. “I’m so glad Bang PD gave you permission to move back with us!”

Abruptly you were yanked away from your brother, Taehyung and Jungkook grabbing you into a hug between them. “Thanks so much Y/n!”

“For what?” You asked Jungkook.

“Everything!” He laughed, stepping away as Hoseok and Jin approached. They both gave you short hugs, Hoseok squeezing tightly as he beamed at you.

Yoongi didn’t give you a long hug like the others, rather, he gave you a quick, polite hug that didn’t cross any boundaries.

His reassuring gummy smile immediately made you feel at ease, quickly fitting back into a place of comfort with the guys.

“We arranged a party for you, Y/n!”

You gasped. “A party? Tae, you didn’t have to!”

Jungkook frowned. “The party is not just from him! It’s from all of us!”

Turning to Namjoon, you raised an eyebrow. “Why wasn’t I told about a party? It’s not that big of a deal..”

Namjoon laughed. “Y/n, it’s been months since we’ve had time to meet up. We barely even talk. I guess we’re just both so busy nowadays. So, we want to celebrate seeing you again.”

This was why you had come back. There was nowhere else you felt more at ease, than with the seven members of BTS.

“Hey, my little baby?” Namjoon’s eyes were focusing on you, and you could feel the nerves building up inside of you.

“Uh.. yeah? What’s up?”

“I kinda know about your degree. Well.. we all do.”

Your heart rate sped up, nervously playing with your hands. You took a deep breath. “I-I.. I’m so-”

Namjoon shook his head, his kind eyes filling with even more warmth than you felt possible. “I’m not mad Y/n. None of us are… in fact. I’m really grateful for everything you’ve done for us. You’ve really helped us through the times where we felt as if there was no light left. As if we were conmans, fooling the world into believing we were okay when we weren’t. I’m-.. no. We’re happier with you.”

You could feel tears rolling down your cheeks, the stinging in your eyes forcing you to close them.

It was undeniable that your brother had a way with words. But the way he praised you… for what you felt was only the bare minimum. It filled you with a type of happiness you hadn’t experienced before.

“It’s just amazing knowing that you tried to help us.. and I guess I understand why you talked to us so often.” Hoseok said.

Jimin hesitated to speak, but finally did so regardless. “You did want to talk to us though, right? It wasn’t just part of a job or something..?”

Of course you’d thought they might react like this. You were glad they weren’t upset, but you didn’t want them to think you only played councillor to them as a sense of duty.

“No, Jimin. Of course not.. I mean.. At first maybe I was only doing it because of that and to help Namjoon. But after a while..I guess I wanted to help you all out. I really love you guys, with all my heart. I would do anything to help you.”

“Thank you..” Namjoon whispered.

As you left the living room to go to bed, Yoongi softly guided you against his frame. “Thank you so much for everything Y/n..”

You could feel your cheeks starting to flush red. “I… just wanted to protect you.”

He smiled, pressing a soft kiss against your forehead. “I’ll protect you, too.”

It was a typical day with Bangtan. You lay on the couch, watching a movie with five out of the seven boys. (Jungkook and Jin were busy…)

As far as movies go, it wasn’t half bad. You were uncontrollably giggling at some parts, and cringing for the protagonist at others. An all round good time.

Then it happened.

Intrusively, a scene flashed over the large screen of a girl being attacked by someone in the dark. The room lit up with your darkest horrors.

Feeling it all flooding back, the memories plastered centrefold in your mind. Your hands began shaking, throat fighting not to close up. You could feel your heart thumping faster than anything else, and the desire to throw up was uncontrollable.

Throwing yourself to your feet, you dashed out of the room, more than upset. You were almost in tears.

A knock on the door echoed slowly. “Y/n? Sweetheart, can I come in?”

Still shaking, you could do little more than yip out a small ‘yes’.

The door cracked open, and he slowly approached you. He took you against him, stroking your back. “Hush, hush. Breathe slowly.”

“I-I-I”

You wanted to say something. To apologise for ruining the movie. Or for being so hung up in the past. To apologise for anything you could.

But instead, Yoongi placed a finger on your lips. “Don’t apologise. It’s not your fault. It never was. You’re strong. You’re wonderful and amazing.”

His lips curled as he flashed his infamous gummy smile. “I care for you. A whole lot more than you could ever fully realise..”

Your heart beat had slowed while he spoke. The pure tone of his voice was enough to comfort you.

“I.. appreciate t-that. So much.”

He grinned. “I told you, I’ll protect you. Even if it’s from yourself. I needed people to protect me from myself in the past.. you’d know better than anyone.. I’ve never told anyone else...”

You slipped your hand under his chin, tilting his face closer to yours. He blinked. Then, without knowing who initiated it, you were kissing. Your lips curved perfectly against each other. The way they fit together embedded in your brain.

It was more than you thought you deserved. How could such a perfect person love.. you? But then you remembered. Everything he suffered through. All the trials he faced. The backlash from the smallest things.

You still cared for him, despite his brokenness. So why wouldn’t he still love you?

The door creaked open again and the others walked in, Namjoon in the lead. He explained that the others wanted to know, but he wouldn’t tell them. It wasn’t his secret. Once again, you felt the comfort of your brother's love wash over you.

“Y/n?” Taehyung grabbed you into a hug, the other two of the Maknae Line, Jungkook and Jimin slipping in on either side. They tried their best to make you smile.

Jin and Hobi doted on you for the rest of the night. Maybe it was their own special way of paying attention to you. By not asking what was wrong, rather, trying to fix the problem.

You were so loved..

More loved than you had ever felt in your life.

Pain makes the person, someone once said. Well, you guessed women were more powerful than any person could be.

Periods hurt.

Yours arrived just after sunset, resulting in you hurriedly rummaging through your supplies, only to find you had run out.

Wandering downstairs, you called out for Namjoon. Surely he could go get you some.

“Y/n? What’s up?” Taehyung asked, looking up from his phone from his routine spot on the couch.

“Where’s my brother?”

Taehyung frowned. “He’s been out for a while now. Maybe two hours? I don’t think he’ll be back for a while.”

“W-what?” You stuttered, eyes brimming with tears. You knew you were overreacting. But the hormones were making you more distressed than you could bear.

“Y/n? Can we talk for a second?”

Unable to refuse Yoongi, you followed him to your room. (He had set up a rule against you being allowed to be alone in his.)

“Are you okay? You’re acting a bit out of the ordinary.”

Hesitating to tell him, you looked away. “I-.. it’s nothing.”

Yoongi’s eyes took on a painful sheen. “Don’t you trust me? I want you to trust me, and if you don’t want to tell me, that’s fine too.”

“I don’t know if… if I could exactly tell you. How would you react..”

Yoongi took your hands in his. “It doesn’t matter what’s wrong. If you’ve killed someone, I’ll even help you bury the body.”

You giggled, unable to ignore his joke, even while your stomach felt as if it may rupture through your skin.

He raised an eyebrow. “I’m joking… or am I? I hope we won’t have to find out..”

Taking a deep breath, you confided in him.

“I can go get the things you want? I know you don’t want to go out..”

It wasn’t that you didn’t want to go out. You both knew that. He was trying to find a nice way of saying ‘I know your PTSD won’t let you go out at night’.

You hugged him. “Thanks so much!”

Even while he stroked your hair behind your ears, smiling, he could feel you weren’t okay. You were never able to take pain killers. Since you had been addicted before, it was too high of a risk to fall back into the old habits. Not that you would let yourself, but sometimes you didn’t have control.

It wasn’t just the physical side either. Your pain had clearly crossed over into an emotionally hurtful aspect.

“I’ll be back soon.”

He kissed your forehead, and with that, you were left alone in your room. Insides still imploding.

Yoongi stood in the convenience store, confused over what to buy. He didn’t want to go overboard. But if you were in pain, he wanted to help you feel better. Finally, he picked out a highly recommended heat pack, along with the supplies you’d asked for.

Seeing the total purchase amount, he smiled slowly. It was worth it, to him. No sum of money meant more to him than your comfort.

“Oh, sweetie.”

When he entered your room, you had just thrown up. It wasn’t pretty, but he pretended he wasn’t looking while he passed you a heated towel. He helped you into your bed, giving you the heat pack.

“Are you feeling better?” He asked.

You shuffled against him, head resting only centimetres away from his chest. “I am, thank you. I owe you.”

“You owe me, nothing.” He whispered.

It was hours later when Namjoon walked in to find you and Yoongi sleeping in your bed together. When the others had told him Y/n was looking for him, he was slightly worried, but nowhere as concerned as he was right now.

“Yoongi?” He gaped. “What the-”

Yoongi shushed him. “I didn’t do anything. I promise. She’s sick from her…” He paused, wondering if you would be okay with Namjoon knowing. But then, his mind took over from his heart. You shouldn’t have to feel ashamed of something you were born to have. Your period wasn’t something shameful. It was part of life.

“She’s on her period.” Yoongi finished.

“Oh.” Namjoon’s outrage deflated.

After a while, Taehyung and Jin stopped by to keep Namjoon and Yoongi company. The two of them waiting by your bedside while you slept. Taehyung brought snacks with him, the tempting aroma helping to bring you out of your sleep.

The first thing you saw when your eyes fluttered open was the four boys, laughing as they talked to each other.

Just seeing them smile took away a small amount of your pain. And that small amount meant a lot.

How do you act in a relationship? Why isn’t there a handbook on that? Actually, there probably is one. You just didn’t want to read it.

Yoongi was amazing. An amazing person, and an even more amazing boyfriend. But he was human too. He was only a young man, and you didn’t think he didn’t have any ideas on furthering the relationship.

He never said anything, of course. But you still wanted to know.

So, you waited until you were alone with him in the dorm.

Even though you approached him first, it didn’t prevent your shyness.

“I.. just want to say I get that you’re a person who can.. uh, manage yourself. But I want to..be with you. You’re a person and you have needs as well.”

He flushed red within seconds, mouth dropping open in surprise. “I.. I would never pressure you into something like that. I may be a man, but it doesn’t mean I need anything from you. It doesn’t mean you are required to satisfy me.”

You pushed your palm against his chest, feeling his heart face against your hand. “My.. my choice was taken from me. But now, right now, with you, I want to claim back my choice. I want to be with you. It’s my choice… and I choose you.”

Taking a deep breath, you were ready.

“Because I love you.”

His eyes widened, misty eyes filled with pure love. The words touched him deeply, warming his heart. “I-”

“You don’t need to say it back until you’re ready.” You reassured him.

Yoongi smiled, pulling you into a hug. “It’s not right, tonight. Baby, I appreciate you and what you’re saying so much. But tonight isn’t the right night for me to…” He coughed. “To give into my desires. I promise it’ll come soon enough. I won’t make you wait forever.”

You smiled into his shirt. “I would wait forever for you.”

Even though you spent so much time with the boys from BTS, you kept your promises to hang out with your own band. They all had a precious place in your heart.

You could feel your protectiveness slip out every time you were around them. Blocking sasaeng fan calls to their phones. Swatting away fans who jumped too close at the airports.

Cheering them up when they saw harmful comments wasn’t a chore for you. It was a blessing to say you could comfort them.

A bit like a mother bear.

No one was there for you in the past. When you were assaulted, there was no one to help you.

And they felt the love you had for them. They knew. Even when you didn’t live with them, you still cared for them. You would always look out for them.

You would never let anyone hurt your friends.

[heyhey-heyward]

expectations & disappointments

series masterlist

summary: Morgan Miller has lived her life under her mother’s thumb—but one afternoon with Kildare County’s most notorious Pogues changes everything.

word count: 1.4K

note from the writer: this is the first part of my series! I’ll be doing a taglist for people that would want to be included so send me an ask if you want to be included! this takes place along the canon events of the show, so major spoilers. also, be prepared for a  s l o w  b u r n  bc I can’t help myself.

enjoy!

Morgan Miller did not belong on The Cut.

She was from Figure Eight, the rich side of the island and where the Kooks resided. She had nice clothes and nice things and a nice education—her whole life was nice and practically laid out in front of her. She’d go to an amazing college on the mainland, and meet an amazing guy that would make an amazing husband. Then, depending on where her amazing husband would want to live, she’d either go back to the Outer Banks and buy one of the gorgeous plantations on Figure Eight or she’d move to some other equally gorgeous coastal town. She’d have two kids and a dog and be in bed by ten every night.

And she fucking hated it.

Nothing seemed worse to her than having to follow her mother’s carefully laid out plan. Having to spend each day on the lookout for an amazing husband—one that, if she was really lucky, might actually like her—and devote her life to. Apparently, having a husband was the number one priority for a girl, according to the widowed Mrs. Madeline Miller, who was currently working on securing husband number two.

Enter, The Cut.

A poverty ridden side of the island that got dealt the worst hand and told to make due. Home of the Pogues, the name given to the people that inhabited The Cut. Kooks acted like they ran the show, even though life itself on the Outer Banks would cease to exist if the Pogues all decided to up and quit working one day. Underappreciated and overlooked, Morgan had a soft spot for the hardships of that side of the island.

As a result, she took it upon herself to donate to The Cut as much as she could. Majority of the time, she avoided telling her mom her whereabouts. But it was a small island, and her mother had eyes everywhere. For the most part, she could smooth over any transgression with her mother by agreeing to go on any of the dates with certified Figure Eight boys she had arranged with the other overbearing mothers. Unsurprisingly, none had ever worked out.

With the arrival of Hurricane Agatha, Morgan had been working double time, helping families around The Cut prepare for a storm while donating a month’s allowance worth of drinking water and other groceries. Currently, she was dropping off supplies at a house on the main street of The Cut, climbing around the back of her dad’s old pickup to find the right cooler.

“Hey, Mo!” A familiar voice called out, using the nickname that everyone but Mrs. Madeline Miller called Morgan, and she looked up to greet the source with a smile. Kiara Carrera, a fellow Kook that defected to the dark side—at least according to Morgan’s mother and other Figure Eight higher ups. Really, she was just one step ahead of Morgan, having befriended a group of Pogues. Morgan, despite spending a great amount of time hanging around The Cut, mostly kept to herself. She knew the families, went to some of the Boneyard parties, but kept most people at arms length—it had been that way since her father passed when she was ten.

“Hey, Kie.” She greeted her with a wave, watching her and her group—John B, Pope, and JJ—approach on the sidewalk. Morgan found the cooler she had been looking for, the one that had the groceries needed for the family she was parked in front of. “Hey, help me with this?” She asked, setting the cooler on the tailgate while getting a case of water. John B didn’t waste a moment, grabbing one side of the cooler before helping her set it on the sidewalk. “Thanks.”

“So, where does your mom think you are today?” Kiara asked with a teasing tone as Morgan hopped off the back of her truck. She chuckled at her, shutting the tailgate and turning back to find the boys looking at her and Kiara with confused expressions. Probably because they had never seen Morgan and Kiara interact, having fallen out of touch for the most part since leaving Kook Academy. The whole Sarah Cameron drama wasn’t Morgan’s cup of tea, and when shit hit the fan with them, Morgan, instead of taking sides, seemingly dropped off of the face of the Earth.

“I’m on a beach somewhere, perfecting my tan and rehearsing what I’m going to say to my future husband when he asks me to marry him.” Morgan joked, sighing dreamily for added effect before rolling her eyes. Mrs. Madeline Miller was nothing if not determined to get Morgan to settle down. And Morgan was nothing if not determined to rebel against that.

“Yeah, why aren’t you back on Figure Eight? Kooks too boring for you?” Though most of the boys had chuckled at her comment, the blonde standing between John B and Pope spoke up with a smug grin on his face. The other two froze, though Morgan barely noticed as her attention fell to the sidewalk.

“JJ!” Kiara chastised. Morgan shook her head at her, waving a hand dismissively. It stung a little bit, that even after spending so much time helping the people on The Cut, that some still saw her as her mother’s daughter. It wasn’t Morgan, and never would be.

“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.” Morgan assured her, flashing a weak smile as she picked up the cooler and made her way to the house. She heard the group bickering on the sidewalk behind her, mostly just Kiara and JJ back and forth, and she sighed before turning over her shoulder one last time. “Hey, Kie, tell your dad hey for me!”

And then she continued into the house, and when she came out, they were gone.

Morgan didn’t think much about it, and continued on with her deliveries, only heading home when the sun started to set and storm clouds started rolling overhead. The lights were off in the house, but as soon as she slipped quietly into the too large kitchen that Mrs. Madeline Miller never used, the lightswitch was flipped and she was met with her disappointed mother.

“Hi, mom.” Morgan winced, knowing her mother would be upset at her for being out so late and from the way she was gripping the stem of her wine glass, Morgan could tell she knew where she was.

“I’m not having this argument with you again.” Her mother sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. From the way she was acting, one would think that she had caught Morgan doing drugs or smuggling beers out of the fridge instead of helping the less fortunate.

“I really don’t—” Morgan started even though she wasn’t sure how she was going to finish the sentence, but cut herself off when her mom raised a hand that silenced her immediately. Sighing again, her mother leaned against the kitchen island.

“Melanie told me you were in The Cut today.” Her tone sounded accusatory and Morgan was still trying to figure out what exactly was so wrong with helping out on the island. She just shrugged her shoulders in response, moving to the fridge to pull out a bottle of water. “I want you to go on a date with Kai Johnson. I’ve been talking to his mom and he’s a good kid—”

“I went on a date last week with Kelce! You have another one planned already?” Morgan exclaimed, though she knew it was a useless fight and started to head towards the door where she’d retreat into her bedroom. It was always the same thing with her mother. Morgan would do something to disappoint her and then she’d have to go on one of the dates her mother would set up for her in order to try and live up to the expectations of being a perfect Kook daughter.

“Are you going to go on a second date with him?” Mrs. Madeline Miller stepped to the side to block her escape route and Morgan sighed. She knew the answer and she didn’t even have to reply, it was the same one she gave her after every failed date—that they weren’t what she was looking for and she didn’t plan on seeing them again. “No? Then I’ll be telling Kai’s mother that we’re setting it up.”

And, like always when her mother confronted her, Morgan stayed quiet.