#and is just doing what she thinks will break them and hasn’t realized that Normal genuinely hates her

[n7punk]

Unhinged Instagram Lives Era Fic Notes:

Ok these are small because I TRIED to just put everything in the Author’s notes because it wasn’t supposed to be a “real” project 😭 but I’ve got a few things to say about UILE.

Playlist is just The Sex Was Good Until It Wasn't album by XANA.

Chapter 1:

⦁ Catra was planning to end up with somebody at the end of the night and Adora was lowkey her top choice, so she texted her when she decided she was done with the party she was at and hadn’t found anything else she wanted to do.

⦁ Catra just straight up misheard Adora in chapter 1 and because she never asks she literally never finds out she didn’t say kitten

Chapter 2:

⦁ I swear Catra really isn’t an alcoholic, she just doesn’t mind alcohol, is around it constantly, and has people buying her drinks in addition to have plenty money on hand, so she found she was doing it a lot and realized she needed to be more intentional about it when discussing it with her therapist.

⦁ Not that it literally ever comes up or matters, but Faith’s sister played drums on the Grammy-winning album.

Chapter 3:

⦁ Catra was kinda wrong about how Adora’s management would feel about their connection, so it really was an issue for them to come out, especially because Adora was transitioning her image to include more… well Catra vibes, if we’re honest, which she called maturity in almost the opposite way Catra’s music was becoming more mature. Adora was getting freer and more horny, while Catra was getting happier and more responsible, but overall Adora’s image didn’t change nearly as much as Catra’s did, and even Catra’s was a gradual shift.

⦁ So it was supposed to be a one shot. Then I had the idea for chapter two and was like fuck ittt. Then I had the idea for chapters 3 and 4 and I was like cool good ending 👍 So that’s lowkey where I consider the end of the fic, but my brain wouldn’t shut up, which is how chapter 5 happened even though I consider 4 a solid ending. And Chapter 6 oh my god I swear. I need to stop thinking about this fic at 1AM.

Chapter 4:

⦁ Adora’s parents are dead, Mara took her in as a kid but she’s just a few years older and it was hard on everybody involved. Also, her full name is Grayskull, management just thought that was too “hardcore” for her genre so they shortened it, and even though her last name does mean something to her unlike Catra, Adora ended up liking that distance between what the public owned of her and her private life.

⦁ Catra’s fans are used to and fond of her antics. She calls it living life to the fullest in interviews and she’s not getting into a lot of controversies or breaking the law (at least not laws that matter) so it really isn’t going to affect her appeal either way if she shifts away from it, but it’ll make some people feel old when she eventually gets asked about cutting back the partying an interview. Other people will say it’s about time.

⦁ When Catra does get into controversies it’s usually shit like blowing someone off, being unafraid to insult someone she feels deserves it, or taking over a party like she did the bar. That’s the modern day rockstar stuff, which is a marketing term she doesn’t use herself to the public but that definitely comes up in a lot of coverage of her.

⦁ Conversely, Adora tries to keep her life private and she’s astonishingly successful given her numbers but stuff spills out, mostly in her dating life, because it was a little messy pre-Catra. She did earnestly attempt some relationships, but they were failed attempts and that left some messy exes.

⦁ Catra hasn’t like, actually had sex in public, but there’s definitely been some extremely horny making out in front of people at clubs and exchanges that people with shame would keep behind closed doors. Despite all outward appearances, Catra needs a safe environment to feel comfortable having sex, so she has some standards, she just tries to seem like she doesn’t.

Chapter 5:

⦁ Normally I headcanon Catra as having a really sharp memory for Pain reasons but for both trauma and sobriety reasons she really doesn’t remember much of her burn-down year, which is when she and An dated, and she meets a lot of people literally every week, so at a certain part they get away from her.

"Chapter" 6:

⦁ “lake at the bottom or our river” is a XANA lyric and “unhappy in Manhattan” is a Chappell referenced queen you SERVED at the VMAs.

⦁ I did the capitalizations purposefully here with CATRA used when talking about her music and Catra used when referring to her as a person.

⦁ When I first wrote An I was not intending this bonus scene to exist but it didn’t make sense to invent another ex for it, so I just gave An a really, really bad day. The meltdown was mostly about everything else happening in her life, honestly, but when she saw she was being filmed she assumed she was recognized because of that and she snapped. I support women’s wrongs she was justified.

⦁ Catra and Adora’s fans do, generally, support their relationship. Both of them have come up with ways to call the other toxic so those subsets always exist, but this post really was about an outlier situation that got blown out of proportion on stan twt and wouldn’t have been that big of a deal/worth a post if the 7/11 incident hadn’t happened. I just really like r/HobbyDrama (when it’s good).

⦁ I love how extremely obvious “Hardcore CATRA stan’s” bias is when describing Catra versus Adora lol.

⦁ The link goes to the photo on Tumblr, but if you actually searched for the Twitter image url listed it would take you toa video of Megan thee Stallion at the VMAs. And the link… well c’mon yall I was goofing :3c

⦁ Lonnie made the pie chart Catra ended up posting to make fun of her while they were working on her latest album. Catra hasn’t actually fact-checked it so it’s wrong in some regards but close enough. It’s also a pie chart pulled directly from my writing tracking spreadsheet, though I manipulated some of the values first. Catra would Not have gone to the effort of making this, the only reason she replied at all is because Lonnie sent it to her literally last week and she thought it was funny, and also wanted the (small subset) who were bitter about her finding happiness to get ratio’s appropriately. It bothers her when people try to make Adora out to be toxic, that’s HER girl, excuse you.

⦁ There’s always that one annoying comment at the bottom of the post that then totally unrelated discourse breaks out in the replies on and that’s what happened with that last comment. Also jjaj10 is for Aly & AJ’s recent 10 year album anniversary this summer.

⦁ Catra goes for the slightly subtler “GOD.DESS” title for her next album (her albums are all stylized in all caps) which is mostly about how fucking amazing her or Adora are in various respects (include sex) with a few “bad bitches have bad days too” moments (Megan the Stallion you are iconic). The cover art is centered on Adora, actually, who’s sitting on their sex bench dykespreading in pants and a tight tank top showing off her arm muscles and serving face to the camera while Catra drapes over her wearing black leather and posed with her leg slipping between Adora’s. It’s subtle but the kink people in their fandoms immediately identify this photo was taken in a Very Private room in their home and once they say it everybody knows that’s not a workout bench even though tbh it looks like one in the shot. They knew that was going to happen or they wouldn’t have done it, Catra literally has an S&M-type song on the album. They’re really just living their best lives at this point.

⦁ It is not… impossible that I add to this fic more in the future, and if so it would be tacked on the end but could conceivably by non-linear, i.e. scenes taking place during or before the main fic itself and not just following it.

⦁ I used a modified version of this public work skin for the reddit post.

And now, to humiliate me, here is a list of sentences that were supposed to be the last sentence of the fic when I wrote them (all of which are the final sentence of their respective final scene):

CH1: “Maybe she will release the song after all.” [next to last scene] (then I started writing in the notes that they did do the jam session, etc, and I realized I should just put that in the fucking fic)

CH1: “If Adora wants to put that song they wrote together on the radio, she’ll certainly see Catra in her bed a lot more frequently if only because Catra will get a constant reminder of what she sounds like when she’s moaning for her.” [last scene] (okay it’s a completed one-shot now, cool, what’s that, it’s a party scene coming in with a steel chair-)

CH2: “Maybe her therapist will be proud enough to make up for the disappointment of the drink.” [last scene] (ok two chapters for fun, if I get more ideas maybe- shit I already have more ideas)

CH3: “Maybe Catra wants to know what it would actually be like.” [last scene] (hey that’s a nice wrap-up point. Lol I bet Adora’s introduction to Catra’s scene is- fuck here we go)

CH4: “It’s somebody else’s loss if they don’t like what that does for her.” [last scene]

CH5: “Not when she’s coming home to her arms every night.” [first scene] (ok this one’s interesting because I very quickly had the idea for the Adora interview because I looooooove writing interview scenes after the cat’s out of the bag so originally, I tacked that onto the end of the chapter, and then I had more ideas and separated the interview and the new scenes into their own thing)

CH5: “Faith can stay mad they’re having amazing sex and putting out chart-toppers.” [last scene] (again the fic was supposed to be DONE but I wrote this write before bed and as I was lying there not falling asleep I wrote the stupid hobbydrama post in my head and just. Sighed and picked up my phone to take notes)

And then, finally, the actual final sentence at the end of Chapter 6. I’m exhausting even to myself.

[weird-unlimited-ramblings]

Honestly fuck sparrow and his relationship with his son, give me that fucking sibling drama content.

I wanna know what went down with Hero and Normal, like with everything we found out in this episode it made me realize. That Hero is like the only person that Normal knows and has met personally that he hates BEFORE FINDING OUT ABOUT THE DOODLER (even the people I would say normal hates know it’s like morally bad people) . Like what the fuck happened. Genuinely, like he never explains why he doesn’t like his sister. And he doesn’t seem concerned that Hero is out maybe fighting the mayor/mayors supporters by herself. Like he was even worried about Scary after she helped Willy kill a man.

[bigboysteveharrington]

Steve lowkey earning himself a reputation for liking guys and girls before he even realizes he does because he keeps interjecting and giving his own answer every time someone tries to ask Robin about guys

At first no one thinks anything of Steve’s interruption and answer when Nancy asks “what even is your type?” quite clearly to Robin and Steve immediately answers “I like girls that are way smarter than me” and everyone just assumes he’s interrupting to hit on Nancy and not to deflect

Then later someone insists some guy was flirting with Robin and she should go for it and Steve immediately goes “Are you kidding me? Robin’s way out of his league. Besides, I had a class with him and he mentioned his stamp collection in it like eight times. Do you really think she wants to sit around and pretend to be impressed by hundreds of stamps?” Still no one thinks much of it yet and if anything they think Steve might be jealous or might just have standards for who they should set her up with

It’s not until it becomes a habit of him answering questions meant for Robin that people start to think there’s a reason, but it’s not Robin they’re onto

Like when they’re having a movie night and Max is going on and on about a shirtless character while Lucas is totally unfazed but Dustin complains and El says which character she liked more and then Max turns to Nancy to break the tie and say which guy is dreamier and Nancy casts her vote, then turns to look over at Robin and ask which guy she’d go for and Steve knows who the question is for but hey he’s sitting right next to Robin so Nancy’s looking in his direction and too and she didn’t say Robin’s name, so Steve doesn’t even hesitate before dropping the name of a character and making sure he keeps the focus off of Robin and keeps everyone distracted from dragging her into that debate by immediately backing it up by saying that Max is right and giving even more reasons to choose him

But even after that, that’s mostly forgotten by the time the older group is drinking and Eddie suggests they play a drinking game and normally Steve would be all over any suggestions, but he turns down truth or dare because he knows how uncomfortable Robin would be and doesn’t want her having to choose between awkwardly lying and deflecting or doing dares she’s not comfortable with or potentially outing herself so he at least manages to change it to never have I ever because that’s a safer bet when he knows Robin hasn’t done anything with any girls

But then Steve ends up drinking significantly more than anyone else while Robin and Eddie are hardly drinking so they end up switching games and somehow they end up playing fuck, marry, kill except Nancy has no interest in getting married or discussing it and she says there’s been enough death in Hawkins and it would be more fun to play with the options as sleep with, kiss, slap. And the game is already started before anyone can ask why marry got changed to kiss and before drunk Steve can figure out how to discretely convince everyone not to. The game goes fine at first with Argyle asking Jonathan about three girls from California. It goes alright when Jonathan asks Eddie about three girls. Steve gets a little concerned when Eddie turns his attention on Nancy that he’ll put Jonathan and him in the list right in front of Jonathan, but Eddie is sober enough still that he at least has enough tact not stir the pot and blow things up on her first turn by throwing them both in in front of them

But then Nancy goes to give Robin a turn and she’s looking right at her and lists the three guys there other than Steve (possibly because she believes Robin on the platonic with a capital P thing and possibly because she doesn’t want to find out if that would waver) so of course Nancy thinks it’s clear that she must be talking to the only other girl there. And before Robin can even try to think of what lie would be the most convincing and least likely to start any awkwardness or drama, Steve’s already jumping in with “Well, I already hit Jonathan and that didn’t go well for me, so I’ll give him a break. And this situation” (gesturing between himself and Nancy and Jonathan) “is finally starting to feel normal so I don’t need to make that awkward all over again by sleeping with your boyfriend. So kiss Jonathan.” And Nancy and Jonathan are looking at him so confused and Robin is grateful for the interruption and relieved but also kind of amused by the level of thought he’s putting into it instead of just throwing out names however. Argyle’s not fazed at all and just waiting to see what he’ll get. Eddie goes from deer in the headlights startled to leaning forward with his elbow on his knee and his chin resting in his hand waiting to see where this will go to abruptly sitting up again and trying to look less interested while his leg nervous bounces and he tries to figure out if Steve is giving a detailed answer to this as a joke or because he’s putting genuine thought into the idea of being with a guy

Steve looks between Eddie and Argyle for a moment, then focuses on Argyle and is like “Sorry, I hardly know you and getting dragged into hitting Eddie or standing around and watching Tommy do it without making any move to stop him is exactly the kind of douchebag bullshit I would have pulled in high school. So I guess slap you and have sex with Eddie.” Eddie’s drink goes down the wrong way when Steve adds “Plus, guitar players are supposed to be good with their hands, right?” and he tries to play it off and not react to the fact that Steve Harrington just said he’d have sex with him and that he thinks Eddie would be good in bed even if it was just in the context of some stupid game. Meanwhile Argyle’s just like “Nah, that’s cool dude. I get it. I would have slapped you too if the roles were reversed.”

After that, a few people start wondering a little more seriously if Steve is into guys too and had his guard down while drinking. But Eddie isn’t going to press his luck without clear evidence and everyone else isn’t going to push it so they just silently wonder a little more every time Steve interjects in the girl talk with his own opinion once again

[cosmosis]

MOVED TO @seratopia

miguel o’hara x reader (crack) - "where’s my super suit?”

this is very self-explanatory slight nsfw mention?? nothing smutty lmao

Brooding in his impossibly dark office, Miguel gazes at the various orange telegram screens around him. One of them catches his eye; Miles, Gwen, Pavitr, and Hobie all being absolutely demolished by an anomaly. 

Each one of them is being thrown in the opposite direction, thwacking against each other or accidentally webbing the wrong person. 

Miguel’s supposed to be off duty right now, though it’s hard to believe that Miguel gets any free time at all. Giving into Lyla’s pestering, he wears normal clothes today, opting for a simple zip-up sports jacket and pants. 

But, Miguel knew he’d regret it. 

He gazes at the live footage of the kids being completely totaled by the anomaly. Something similar to sympathy growing in his chest. (He doesn’t like to admit he has a soft spot for the kids, but he does.)

Miguel closes his eyes, hunching down and pinching between his eyes. “No puedo más-” He mumbles to himself. Pressing a button on the screen, Miguel quickly finds which universe the kids are in, opting to jump in and deal with it himself. 

He’s already got his watch on, ready to step into action when he realizes...

He doesn’t have his suit on. 

“Fuck.“ He mutters, breaking into a run out of his office, and down the equally dim hallway towards his living quarters. If you’re so invested in your job, why not live there as well?

The automatic doors slide open, revealing a lifeless, bland bedroom. You bug him to make it more homey, but he hasn’t got the chance to yet. Miguel quickly rummages through his drawers in the dark, filing through another closet in search of his suit, or at least one of a duplicate. Nothing. 

“Lyla!“

Miguel starts rummaging through more clothes, and she instantly flickers by his shoulder. 

“What?“

“Do you know where my suit is?“ Miguel asks. 

“I dunno.“ Lyla shrugs. “I think y/n has it. Said she wanted to keep it to make sure you wouldn’t go work today.“

Miguel sighs in annoyance, swatting Lyla away like a fly until she blinks off. He taps a few buttons on his smartwatch, hastily pressing the call button for your favorited contact. 

(it reads ”babyboo💕💞” after you changed it in his sleep lmaoo)

You answer as per usual. Miguel’s surprised you weren’t busy. 

“Honey?“ Miguel asks, double checking the clothes he threw on the floor.

“Whaat?” 

“Where’s my suit?” 

“What? Sorry, you spazzed out a little.“

Miguel sighs, taking a deep breath on behalf of healthy marriages. 

“Where. Is. My. Spider. Suit?“ He asks, slower this time. 

“I uh- put it away.“ 

“Where?“ He asks, his voice hushed. 

You raise your eyebrow. Miguel is supposed to be off duty?

“Why do you need to know?“

“I need it!“

“Nuh uh! Don’t you dare think about zipping off to whatever fucking Earth-199 you’ve got going on! You haven’t had a break in literally 4 years!“

“The kids are in danger!“

“Your mental health is in danger!“

“Tell me where my goddamn suit is! We’re talking about the future generation!“

“The only future generation you should be worrying about are the kids you put in me last ni-“

“Oh my fucking god, just tell me! Hon-“

You hang up on him, and Miguel sighs for the 10th time today, hanging his head low in frustration. He’s surrounded by clothes he never wears, the room utterly cluttered. 

You know what, maybe someone else will deal with it? There’s thousands of spider-people in the building, it’s safe to say that they could take down at least one anomaly. 

For now, Miguel needs a break.

© 𝒄𝒐𝒔𝒎𝒐𝒔𝒊𝒔.

[diamond-champagne]

10. I Love You

Paige Bueckers x Azzi Fudd

Warnings: None

Summary: In which things are figured out and confessed.

A/N: Shoutout to 🌟 for holding me accountable! Feedback is always welcome!

The smallest words are the most powerful. They often have the most impact. Intense and large emotions and experiences welded into a string of four letters. Hate. Love. Lust. Fate.

Fate. The development of events beyond a person’s control. The idea of it is entirely funny because honestly, how could it not be? 

Or at least, that’s what Azzi thinks.

She sits at her dining room table with her family, surrounded by Katie, Tim, Jon, Jose and Paige. The blonde girl that makes her laugh at that silly four letter word. 

How could it be that fate is beyond a person’s control? Azzi felt in control when she talked to Paige the entire plane ride back to Minneasota when they were younger. She felt in control when she answered every facetime call after said plane ride. She even felt in control when she shared a constant space with the girl after the pandemic. So the thought of this possibly not being in her control is laughable. However she only thinks of the word because it’s the only one that describes how perfectly Paige just fits. She has her own seat at the dinner table and her name is on the abandoned chore chart on the refrigerator. Paige is factored into movie nights, dinners, and holidays. Almost like it she was fated to be there and Azzi can only marvel at how easy it was for this to be a new normal. 

Beneath her ability to take that word seriously, Azzi feels warm and fuzzy. She is overcome with a sense of familiarity and softness that only seems to appear when a particular pair of blue eyes and a head full of blonde hair appear. So she revels in it. 

At least, that’s what she’s trying to do before she hears a throat clear. Quite loudly. 

“Are you listening to me?” Tim asks.

Suddenly Azzi realizes that there are several pairs of eyes on her. It makes her flush and muster an apologetic look. 

“Yeah, dad. Be up at 8am. Got it”

That seems to satisfy the table as the majority return their focus back to Tim as he gives a detailed description of their itinerary for the following morning. Tomorrow, the Fudds are hosting a camp for the elementary schools in the area. It’s something that they partake in monthly, helping the younger children grow their skills. So while you’d never know it from the way her dad is animatedly talking, Azzi knows the routine.  

She looks down at her plate, still full of the vegetables that she’s pushed around for the last thirty minutes. Azzi can feel Paige’s eyes on her. When she looks up, she’s met with deep pools of blue filled with concern.

“Are you okay, Az?” Paige asks. Her voice was laced with sincerity. 

“I’m fine.” Azzi replies surely while never breaking eye contact. The pair continue to stare at each other. Emotions swim in both of their eyes that are begging to be voiced into the world. It feels like forever and not long enough that they continue their staring contest before Jon breaks the moment between them to mention some tik tok video that he saw earlier that day. 

The rest of dinner is smooth but Azzi is antsy. She needs to talk to Paige immediately so she takes her shower and gets settled into bed while she waits for her best friend while rehearsing what she could possibly say. Immediately she thinks back to when it all made sense to her. 

-

Azzi thinks it’s been a long two weeks.

Actually, Azzi knows it's been a long two weeks because she hasn’t stopped thinking about the kiss in the bar bathroom.

It’s not that the two haven’t kissed before because well, they’ve had more than their fair share. This kiss though, was under the premise of something much larger than a secret night between the two. It was laced with the feeling of forever and provided such a high that they both wanted to chase for the end of time. Azzi wanted to chase Paige until the end of time. 

So, it’s been a long two weeks and she’s impatient. Azzi also wants to cuddle. 

She’s tired and all she wants to do is hug her best friend and bury her face in a head full of blonde hair. That’s why she flops on her bed as she lets out a groan that probably echoes through the stratosphere.

Well that and the fact that someone is knocking on her door. The brown haired girl pushes herself up and makes her way to the front door. She’s prepared to fully be an unwelcoming host; choosing to greet whoever with an eye roll and a voice that drips in annoyance but it’s her favorite pair of blue eyes on the other side of the door. 

“Hi,” Paige says. It’s a bit quiet and shy but it sounds perfect to Azzi. 

“H-Hi” the brown eyed girl stutters. She wants to ask what Paige is doing but her attention has been redirected to the bags in the blonde’s hands. It only confuses her more when she looks up and is met with a sheepish look on her best friend’s face.

“I missed you,” Paige blurts out before explaining further. “I thought maybe we could hang out because we’re still friends. We’ll always be best friends.”

“I miss you too,” Azzi confesses. “I always miss you.”

Azzi can feel herself smile at the words. It sends her heart soaring in ways she could have only imagined. She thinks this is what love songs must feel like. But then she watches Paige smile and she thinks it’s something she could watch for the rest of her life. But Azzi isn’t sure what to say. She isn’t sure that the words to explain what she feels for the older girl have been invented yet. So instead, she grabs the wrist of her blonde-haired forever and drags her into the kitchen.

As the brown-haired girl unpacks the bags, she discovers ice cream and her chipotle order. In the other bag, sits a hardcopy of “The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo” which she vaguely recalls talking about.

The gesture is small but moving. It’s what makes everything click.

Azzi can feel tears well up in her eyes so she’s quick to wipe them before hugging Paige. She can only hope that she’s able to feel the gratitude that rolls off of the curly-haired girl in waves. But it’s Paige so of course she feels it and of course she pulls Azzi closer to hug her tighter.

They aren’t sure how long they stand in the kitchen, simply enjoying each other’s embrace. But the sound of stomachs grumbling disturbed the moment and resulted in giggles from each of the basketball players. Soon, they’re sitting on the couch, while watching Frozen.

The empty chipotle bowls sit on the counter along with the ice cream that is surely forgotten about by now. That much doesn’t matter though because Azzi is laying on the couch with Paige in her arms. She isn’t paying attention to the movie though because all she can do is focus on the blonde on top of her and how happy she is at this very moment. 

It’s that thought that segways into feeling like this everyday. This being a light, giddy feeling that casts a protective bubble over the two whenever they share a space together. The feeling that has since replaced the fear that once left her helpless and unmoving.

Azzi thinks she can get used to Paige loving her. It’s like a warm blanket that feels like home. Her eyes are soft and her Azzi smile is a permanent fixture on her beautiful face. The brown-haired girl thinks about all the ways they can be more intertwined than they already are. She thinks about seeing her stuff in the bathroom and moving clothes into each other’s closet. The younger girl imagines mini bottles of gatorade next to her water in the refrigerator. She imagines blonde strands of hair tickling her while she’s sleeping and never having any sense of personal space because Paige is a 6’0 baby. 

At the same time, she imagines not having any of it. That feeling of discontentment that had once wormed its way into her heart is back. It’s a bitter and heavy feeling that makes Azzi shift in discomfort. That terrifies her and suddenly she realizes that not having Paige is scarier than anything she could possibly imagine. Maybe the thought of losing Paige is what paralyzingly scarred her. 

Though as she lays on the couch, on the brink of sleep, she thinks of how fate brought them together from miles away. She thinks being scared means that this is something worth having. 

Paige is worth having. 

-

Azzi is broken from her daydream by the sound of her door knob rattling. Paige is in her room dressed in an old shirt and shorts with hair that is still dripping wet from her shower. The blonde stands in front of the mirror while she begins to brush her hair and all the younger girl can do is watch. It takes a bit for her staring to capture Paige’s attention but when it does, the blue-eyed girl immediately turns to her friend. 

“What’s wrong?”

The brown-eyed girl feels like a fish out of water. A wave of emotion engulfs her and it’s too much but not enough all at the same time. There’s love and longing and admiration that swim so deep in her heart and mind that she blurts out the first thing that comes to mind before she even realizes it. 

“I love you.”

PREVIOUS | NEXT

[elliesbelle]

how much i need you

ellie williams one-shot

pairing: ellie x reader

synopsis: you don’t want to love your ex-girlfriend anymore, not when you know you’ll never amount to the girls she's loved before. maybe one day, she’ll realize how much she needs you.

content warnings: cursing, angst, break-up, ellie and reader are both in their mid-20s, joel is alive and never went golfing, descriptions of weapons, mentions of cannibalism, depictions of physical violence and blood, mentions of weight loss, mentions of death, extremely dark themes in general (proceed with caution), minors do not interact

word count: 10.5k

title based on lyric from the olivia o’brien song “hate u love u”

“I don’t think I can take it anymore.”

“Wh-what? What do you mean by that?”

“If you can’t get over this, I don’t think I can be with you anymore.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“Yeah. I do.”

“E-Ellie.”

The silence between you two screamed in wounded agony. You’d been arguing for the past hour in Ellie’s garage. It was the same argument you’d been having for the past two weeks: Ellie and Cat. Ellie and Dina. Being constantly surrounded by remnants of her love life was crushing you. And even more so that she’d still banter, still flirt. And it cut you every single time.

Ellie would assure you that it was all platonic, that it was normal, the way she spoke to them. That there hasn’t been anything between her and either of them in years.

But how do you forget your first love? Who you had all your firsts with? And how do you forget your most recent ex-girlfriend? Especially one that you still remain best friends with?

You were growing tired of the jealousy. And Ellie was growing tired of your insecurity.

“Just go.” She finally murmurs.

You stare at her blankly.

“B-baby, please.” You whimper.

“I…I don’t think you should call me that anymore.”

“Wh-what?” Your vision was blurry from the tears streaming down your cheeks, falling relentlessly.

“J-just go.”

Ellie still loved you. She loved you more than she was ever able to say. She loved you more than she ever loved Cat. And even more than she ever loved Dina. She believed for the longest time that you could be her person. But maybe not. Maybe not if you just couldn’t deal with her history, her baggage.

“Please, no,” You beg. “Please don’t do this.”

Ellie remains silent as she walks over to the door to open it, signalling you to leave.

No matter how much you bawled and blubbered, Ellie stood her ground.

That’s how you spent the next month: weeping hysterically and enshrouding yourself in your misery.

You spoke only when needed, giving empty and lifeless half-smiles. Others attempted to inquire about the change in your behaviour, much too frequently that Maria had to step in and demand that they stop.

Nevertheless, it wasn’t difficult for them to guess why your once pleasant disposition turned joyless. People no longer saw you with Ellie, only ever catching glimpses of you when you tended to your duties or grabbed supplies or food that you’d eat alone in the sanctuary of your own home.

Ellie hadn’t spoken to you since that day. She hadn’t even asked after you, fearing that she'd come grovelling if she kept tabs on you.

Jesse, who was a patrol leader, and Maria, who was in charge of assignments, took pity on you and no longer appointed you to take part in the daily task of safeguarding Jackson. It was a harrowing job and they saw that your weakened emotional state would not benefit from constant threats of peril.

You didn’t mind this, convinced you were a shit patrol partner anyway. Stealth was usually your strong suit, but that didn’t benefit you much when you came face-to-face with actual danger. You didn’t have the muscles or the brawn to fight threats head-on.

Instead, you spent your days in the greenhouses. It didn’t require much socializing, and the manual labour tired you out, so much so that you could attempt to focus on your fatigue instead of your feelings.

And the plants were hopeful, innocent, forgiving. When you were alone, it was the one place that you still allowed yourself to hum and sing. Everywhere else in Jackson was tainted with memories of your ex-girlfriend, even your own home. But here in the solace of blooming greenery, you could feign a sense of happiness and croon quiet melodies of Etta James and Sam Cooke to the flourishing sprouts.

You knew your life didn’t revolve around Ellie. You knew that. Yet even so, you spent all your time thinking about her late at night when you inevitably couldn’t sleep. You remained a prisoner of your mind as the countless reminders of her you’d been hit with all over Jackson that day would replay in your head.

Every day when you’d make your way to the greenhouses, you were forced to pass by Joel’s house and see the little garage Ellie’d converted into her home. You’d go into the main square and walk by people who used to ask after you when you’d come into town with her, but whose faces no longer turned your way to even spare you a morning greeting. It was Ellie who was important around here, anyway, not you. Walking into the supplies shop or the Tipsy Bison met you either with the same treatment or with pitying expressions, neither of which you noticed much over miserably spotting Ellie’s favourite snacks or her usual brand of alcohol.

Jackson was always more Ellie’s than yours. You loved this town and of course it was home to you. But you’d only arrived a few years back, whereas Ellie had resided here since she was 14. There was no Jackson for you without Ellie. And every breath you took in this town felt like a bittersweet knife being shoved down your throat.

You’d made a few friends since you first arrived in town. But you’d always been closest to Ellie and her group, even before she and you’d started dating. After your break-up, your social routine was disrupted and you made no efforts to confide in others, though a few tried.

The day after Ellie dismissed you from her garage, you heard fervent knocking on your front door around noon. It was your day off and you’d woken up from beneath a throw blanket on your living room couch, having fallen asleep while sobbing into the cushions for a couple of hours. You pulled the sheet over your head and ignored the knocking, preferring the warmth of the blanket over your cold, new reality. You tried to shut your eyes and will for the unwanted visitor to give up and leave, but you relented when you heard the sound of Jesse’s voice ceaselessly calling out your name and threatening to break your front door down.

Jesse had just gotten back from an early morning patrol with Ellie. He’d spent much of the dawn pressing her about her silent and despondent behaviour, and after she gave in and confessed the previous night’s tragic events, he headed straight for your house just seconds after they reentered the gates of Jackson.

Jesse was greeted with your sorry, pathetic state: lips puffy yet cracked as a result of your anxious nipping and biting, a halo of crust around your eyes from your incessant tears the night before, clothes completely askew and clearly slept in. You offered him an insincere smile, one that didn’t reach your eyes.

“Hey, sorry,” You said, voice cracking. “I was sleeping.”

“In your patrol clothes from yesterday?” Jesse inquired.

You gave him a shrug.

“Listen, dude,” He began. “I heard about what happened last night and I wanted to make sure that—“

“Oh, yeah, that. It’s okay. I’m okay.” You interrupted, waving him off.

“Come on, man, I know that you’re—“

“I mean, I’m sad and all, but what are you gonna do, you know?”

“—not okay, you don’t have to pretend otherwise.”

You gave Jesse another wistful smile.

“Look, I gotta go get showered and everything, but I’ll see you all for dinner later at the Tipsy Bison, okay?”

You closed the door on him before he could respond, having no intentions of meeting up with him or any of your friends that night.

You didn’t open your door for visitors again after that day. Jesse passed by later that evening after you didn’t show, but you kept all the lights off in your house and ignored his yelling and knocking ‘til he eventually gave up for the night.

About a week or so after that day, you were walking out of your house for your assigned morning patrol when you were stopped in your tracks by the sight of one of the last people you wanted to see at that moment.

Dina’s right hand was outstretched as if she was about to knock on your door. She looked just as shocked as you when you locked eyes.

“Oh, shit! Sorry, you scared me.” Dina said, exhaling with a quiet laugh.

“Sorry” was all you muttered in response.

You closed and locked the front door as Dina watched you with a doleful gaze.

“Hey, so,” She started. “I…I know that you and Ellie broke up. She told me a little bit about what happened that night, and I just wanted to say that I’m sorry if I ever caused any problems between you two and that I think she was seriously wrong for breaking up with you.”

You were barely processing her words, focusing your gaze instead on a crooked post in the brown picket fence that surrounded your house. You started feeling dizzy and you were struggling to remain upright and grounded.

“Umm, I totally forgot that I had something to do before patrol today. Can you tell Tommy and Joel that I’ll be a little late? Thanks, D.”

You rushed through your excuse before quickly unlocking and disappearing behind your front door, shutting it in Dina’s face the same way you’d done with Jesse.

That was the same day that Maria graciously told you she was taking you off the patrol rotation as you never showed up for your shift. Since then, the greenhouses have been your home away from home. You would arrive during the early hours of the morning before the sun had even graced the sky, and you’d leave only after most of Jackson was sound asleep in their beds. It was barely a life, but in a world where the alternative was being on the outside to be subjected to murderous demons, both of the monster and human variety, you couldn’t be completely ungrateful.

On a cold, snowy day where most of Jackson remained huddled in the shelter of their homes, Maria paid you a visit in the plant nurseries.

You were in a secluded corner away from the others who were also stationed as gardeners, repotting some seedlings into larger buckets. No one tried speaking to you anymore these days, not unless it was absolutely necessary. So when you heard the sound of Maria’s voice from behind you, you nearly dropped your shovel.

“Sorry to interrupt your work, hun,” Maria says apologetically. “But it’s urgent.”

“O-oh, okay.” You mutter, still reeling from the shock of being spoken to. “Is-is everything okay?”

“Well, half the town right now has dropped like flies because of this crazy flu that’s been going around. I’ve barely got anyone for patrols this week since most of them can’t even hold a pistol or stay upright on their horses.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” You respond, almost impassive. You had no idea how any of this pertained to you.

“Now, I hate to have to ask you this,” Maria began slowly. “But do you think I can put you back on the patrolling schedule until more of my guys can recover? I wouldn’t be asking, but I really don’t have anyone left to send out there and you’re already trained and know the routes and everything.”

You froze. You had little desire to break out of your mundane everyday routine, and you were also extremely rusty when it came to patrolling. But Maria was always kind to you and was understanding enough to take you off the patrol rotation in the first place. You owed her.

“You really don’t have anyone?” You ask.

“I’m desperate, hun,” Maria states. “I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t.”

You sigh.

“When do you want me to start?”

“Tomorrow, your usual time in the morning.” She says. “That okay with you?”

“Yeah, I guess that’s fine.” You reply. “Which route?”

“I’ll give you a fairly easy one for tomorrow, give you a chance to get reacquainted with the road again. And don’t worry,” She adds. “I won’t pair you with her.”

You feel a sizeable lump in your throat, merely nodding in acknowledgement to who she was referring to.

“Okay. Tomorrow then.”

“Thank you, hun. It’s only temporary, I promise. You’ll be back in here before you know it. Do you want the rest of the day off today to prep?”

“No, it’s okay,” You reply, shaking your head. “I’ll be fine.”

“Alright, just maybe take it easy and don’t wear yourself out today. And go home early. I want you to rest up.”

You nod once more before returning to your busy work. You feel Maria’s hand on your shoulder and your body tenses up from the sudden physical contact, not having been touched by someone else in so long.

“Thanks again, sweetheart. I’m real grateful. I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

You feel Maria’s hand withdraw from you before she exits the greenhouse, leaving you with immediate dread and regret.

The next morning came quicker than you’d liked. Unable to sleep, you’d woken up an hour earlier than needed and spent that time preparing for patrol. You prepared the essentials in your backpack: a medkit, flashlight, a water bottle, a few snacks.

Attached to the front pocket of your bag was a little pin of a moon in its third quarter. Ellie’d found it on a patrol with Joel over a year ago and gifted it to you to match her spaceship pin on her own backpack. You hadn’t noticed you still had it on yours and contemplated removing it. In the end, you kept it on.

The sun was nowhere to be seen behind the thick grey clouds that scattered flurries all around Jackson. Though it would complicate and prolong patrols, you used to love it when it’d snow. It brought a certain kind of beauty that balanced out the dead and dark winter.

You had countless memories of you and Ellie in the snow: you gleefully rushing to the window when seeing it fall from the sky for the first time in the year and Ellie quietly admiring the way your face lit up every time, challenging each other to a snowball fight where Ellie would decimate you with no mercy to which you’d punish her for by stuffing handfuls of snow down her shirt, attempting to build a snowman in front of your house that ended up looking more like a blobfish instead and who you’d both affectionately named Puddles.

But now as you silently stomped through shallow puddles towards the stables, you curse the sky for ungenerously sending the white powder on a day you just wanted to be over as soon as it began.

You get to the stables, nodding at the stablehands with a curt smile, and walk up to your horse, Cleopatra. You smile as you brush her mane lightly with your fingers.

“Hey, old gal,” You sigh. “Sorry for being away so long.”

You then head to the armoury, planning to stock up on weaponry for the trip. As you’re loading a pistol, you hear someone join you from behind.

Dina comes up beside you and begins to load a shotgun. You work in silence for a few moments before she speaks.

“Hey,” She greets. “Jesse told me you were back on the patrol rotation.”

“Temporarily,” You correct her. “Just a favour to Maria while people are out sick.”

“Right,” Dina says. “You gonna be alright?”

“Mhmm” was all you say as you load a rifle.

“Well, don’t die out there!” Dina attempts at a joke.

“No promises.” You mutter as you exit the armoury.

You return to the stables to grab Cleopatra, walking past others preparing for their patrols as well. After a stableboy hands your her reins, you walk her out of the paddock and towards the large gates.

Spotting Jesse, you and Cleopatra head over to his direction while he gives orders to a couple of patrollers who looked like they’d never stepped outside the walls of Jackson in their lives. As they walk away, Jesse spots you walking towards him and his face breaks out in a smile.

“Maria told me you were coming!” He says jovially, giving you a one-arm hug that you tepidly return.

“Who are you sending me out with?” You ask, not wishing to engage in small talk.

“This guy Antoine,” Jesse replies. “He’s about our age and works in the stables, but Maria recruited him temporarily.”

You nod.

“Sorry to put you with someone new,” Jesse continues. “We’re trying to pair newbies with people with experience so we’re not sending people to their deaths out there.”

“You sure you want to send him out with a shit patroller like me?” You say.

“Oh, stop that,” Jesse reprimands. “You’re an excellent partner.”

You hum in disagreement and say nothing. Jesse leads you to where a tall, blonde man you assumed was Antoine who was standing and holding the reins of a horse you remembered was named Pink. He introduces you and talks about which route you’d been assigned to, and you and Antoine politely nod at each other before lining up with the rest of the patrollers right in front of the gates.

As Tommy and Joel give their usual speech on what to look out for and updates on what had been encountered on recent patrols, you suddenly feel a sense of dread wash over you. Ellie had walked up to join Dina, who was her patrol partner that day, with her horse Shimmer by her side. Your eyes betray you as they unwittingly fall on her casually conversing with Dina, laughing at a joke she seemed to have said. Tearing your gaze away from the sight, you don’t realize that seconds after you’d stopped looking at her, Ellie’s face drops as her eyes fall on you.

Once Tommy finishes a spiel on raiders having spotted nearby and warning against them, he and Joel nod everyone off to proceed with their duties as the sentries finally open the gates. You mount Cleopatra as Antoine does the same with Pink, and you start to pull at her reins to depart when you suddenly hear hoofbeats clopping towards you. Your face drains of blood as you see Ellie on Shimmer coming up to your side.

“Hey.” She says as she pulls Shimmer to a stop.

You try to work yourself up to greet her back but your mouth remains silent.

“I, umm, saw you got put back on patrols.” She mutters.

You muster up enough of your voice to mutter back, “For now.”

“Well, uhh. Be careful out there.” She cautions.

Unable to hold back a scoff, you say, “You don’t care.”

Before Ellie can respond, you tap Cleopatra lightly with your foot and jerk at her reins to signal her to move forward. You hear Ellie trying to call you, but you force yourself not to look back as you ride Cleopatra out of Jackson.

Antoine was the perfect patrol partner, in that he remained silent for most of your round. He seemed to sense that you were in no mood for small talk and only spoke in response to any directions you gave.

Maria upheld her promise of giving you a fairly easy route to scout. You and Antoine hadn’t encountered any Infected or otherwise throughout most of the patrol. After searching a nearby abandoned neighbourhood a little past noon, you decide that it was time to make the journey back to Jackson.

However, it seemed that Antoine, who had never been outside the walls of the town, was reluctant to leave.

“Wait, I kind of want to explore a little more.” He says, refusing to mount his horse Pink and heading into the empty house where he had her reins tied to the fence.

“Antoine!” You call out after him, having already mounted Cleopatra and readied yourself to leave. Antoine ignores you as he disappears behind the front door. You curse under your breath as you hop off your horse.

“Get your ass back here!” You yell as you cross the threshold of the house. You explore the place, scanning each room in an attempt to find the blonde man who you desperately wished to throttle.

You find him in one of the bedrooms upstairs, reading through a comic book he’d found in a small bookshelf in a corner. The front cover had an array of superheroes in nonsensical outfits, looking as if they were fighting in some war in outer space. You ignore the voice in your head that thought about how it looked like something Ellie would find fascinating.

“What the fuck are you doing?” You demand.

“I can’t believe this is really shit that they had back in the old world. Whoever lived here has like, fifty of these.” Antoine says.

“Who the fuck cares, Antoine,” You angrily seethe. “We shouldn’t be out here too long. There could be Infected around.”

“We just checked out the whole neighbourhood and there wasn’t anything. Lighten up a little.” He replies.

“Just because we haven’t seen anything, it doesn’t mean there isn’t anything out there!”

“Look, this is my first time outside of Jackson. I just want to enjoy it for a little bit before I get stuck back on stable duty.”

“You wanna enjoy being out here where you could get ripped apart by monsters at any sec—” Your tirade was interrupted when the butt of a gun knocks you out.

Ellie and Dina were just returning from their patrol after being delayed by a group of Infected in a nearby grocery store. Trotting through the gates with their horses Shimmer and Japan, they were laughing over some ridiculous pun Ellie had just made and didn’t notice Jesse sprinting towards them.

“Jesus, fuck, thank god you’re both back.” He says as Tommy follows behind him.

“Sorry, man, had to clear out that grocery store about ten miles west. Had like, ten runners in there waiting for us.” Ellie explains, laughter still resonating in her voice.

Dina, noticing the serious look on Jesse’s face, eyes him warily.

“Wait, what’s wrong?” She asks him.

“You’re…you’re not the only ones who hadn’t returned yet.” He replies.

Ellie’s face falls slightly as she finally realizes the gravity of the situation.

“Oh shit, who else hasn’t gotten back?”

“It’s just one other pair who seems to be running late.” Tommy says, having caught up to the trio. Jesse gives him a warning look in response.

“Wait, who?” Dina asks, dismounting from Japan.

Jesse and Tommy unwittingly look at Ellie at the same time before sharing an anxious look. Ellie narrows her eyes.

“Who, Tommy?” She asserts.

Tommy opens his mouth to speak but immediately shuts it as Ellie’s face shifts from confusion to understanding. She pulls at Shimmer’s reins, urging her to turn around and retreat from the gates of Jackson once more. Jesse dashes forward and stops Shimmer in her tracks.

“We don’t know what’s happened yet, Ellie. They could have just gotten held back by something.”

“Fucking move, Jesse.” Ellie spits.

“She’s a smart girl, El. I’m sure she’ll be back soon.”

“I swear to god, dude, I will run you over.”

“What route did you assign them to?” Dina asks.

“The one that goes southeast and follows the river into that abandoned town about fifteen miles east.”

“Tommy!” Jesse chides, having withheld that information on purpose.

“Great. Thanks, Tommy.” Ellie says, urging Shimmer to walk past Jesse before Dina steps in front of her as well.

“Ellie, that’s a real easy route. I’m sure she’s fine.” Dina assures.

“She’s with that dumbass stableboy who’s never been outside of the town, much less held a gun before. If nothing’s happened, they would be back by now.”

“She knows how to take care of herself, kid.” Tommy chimes in. “I’m sure that the snow just delayed their return, that’s all.”

“Just give them an hour, dude,” Jesse adds. “If they’re not back by then, we’ll send a few people out to search.”

“A lot can happen in a fucking hour, Jess,” Ellie retorts. “I’m not leaving it up to chance.”

“What’s going on?” A voice behind the group says. They all turn to see Maria walking towards them.

“These fucking assholes won’t let me go after my fucking girlfriend.” Ellie hisses.

“Ex.” Jesse corrects her. Ellie shoots him a menacing look.

“Did they also tell you that we’re ready to go out and look for them if they don’t return soon?” Maria says, ignoring the exchange.

“I can do it right now.” Ellie replies stubbornly.

“You’ve been out patrolling all day, hun. I’m sure you’re tired. I’ve already gathered a group of people to help search the area if they don’t get back soon.”

“But—”

“Don’t let your guilt make you do something stupid, Ellie.” Maria interrupts with a tone of finality.

Ellie stares at her as Jesse pats her leg.

“She’s a smart girl, Ellie.” He repeats. “I’ll go out with the searching party myself too if they don’t get back soon.”

“Wait!” Dina yells, looking past the gates. “I see something!”

The group all focus their gaze on the direction she’s pointing at, making out a couple of figures approaching. Ellie breathes a sigh of relief when she makes out the outline of two horses approaching, but the moment is short-lived when the sight, which was originally obscured by the snow, reveals only one person riding on horseback.

Ellie dismounts from Shimmer as Antoine finally crosses the border of the town. She makes a beeline for him, angrily grabbing at his shirt and almost ripping him off Pink.

“Where the fuck is she? Why the fuck are you alone?!” She demands as Dina and Jesse tear her off him, allowing him to properly get down from his horse.

“I–we–I don’t…” Antoine begins to stutter.

“Speak, boy.” Tommy demands.

“I don’t…I don’t know where she is.” Antoine admits.

Maria, ignoring Ellie’s various curses and swearing, moves forward to speak.

“What the hell does that mean, Antoine?” She asks coolly.

“We got ambushed at the town we were patrolling, we were inside a house and they snuck up behind us, they knocked her unconscious and I was able to get away before they could get to me.” He replied so quickly that they almost didn’t catch what he was saying.

“So you fucking left her?” Ellie growls.

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t know what else to do!”

“We gave you a gun, you were put into training beforehand,” Jesse scolds. “You’re partners for a reason. You’re supposed to fucking look out for each other.”

“I-I panicked. There were several of them and they were all big guys and—”

“It should have fucking been you instead!” Ellie screams, lunging towards Antoine before Tommy catches her and holds her back.

“What did they look like? Did they say anything? Anything at all that can lead to where they might have brought her?” Maria inquires.

“I-it was so quick and I couldn’t get a glimpse of their faces. They mostly wore black clothing. And th-they said…”

“Said what?” Jesse prompts.

“They said, ‘this one looks like she’ll be pretty delicious,’ before I could escape.”

You wake up to a throbbing headache and severe nausea. Your right hand flies up to your temple while the other shields your eyes from a blurry, yellow light being cast from somewhere above you. The first thing you see once your vision clears up a little is rusted, silver fencing that served as a cage. As you peer at your surroundings, you hear the repetitive sound of a blade hitting timber.

Sitting up, you see two men facing away from you and leaning over a wide, wooden table. One had a large sack flung over his shoulder that slowly dripped blood, while the other was wielding a butcher’s knife, chopping some kind of meat that your view was obscured from. It was only when the man slides it off the table with his blade that you realize what it was as you take in a sharply drawn breath: a human arm.

Your silent gasp catches the attention of the man with the sack, who nudged his companion. They both turn to look at you, the knife holder smirking as he did so. He places it down on the table to bring his full attention to you.

“Get Ian,” He tells the other man. “Tell him the girl’s finally awake.”

His friend nods before dropping the bag and walking out of the room which, as you inspect further, looked almost like a slaughterhouse. Your eyes flit back and forth between the man staring at you and the cage imprisoning you. You try to search for flaws in the fencing for a chance to escape, but you find none. The man continues to eye you, almost with an air of cruel arrogance.

A few moments pass before he’s joined by a different man with brown hair and a lightly-shaved beard. He joins his friend leaning on the wooden table and addresses you directly.

“Good morning,” He states civilly. “How are you feeling?”

You don’t respond, intent on keeping your interactions with these strangers as minimal as possible. The man continues to speak anyway.

“I apologize for the way my associates treated you. I’m sure they didn’t mean to knock you out that hard. You were unconscious for much longer than needed.”

He approaches your cage to crouch at your eye level and you instinctively back away until your back hits the wall behind you.

“My name is Ian, and this is my friend Jacob. Can you tell me what your name is?”

You make a show of tightening your lips in defiance.

“That’s alright, I get it. We’re strangers, after all.” He says, holding his hands up in acknowledgement. “We’re gonna get to know each other pretty well, I’m sure.”

Your eyebrows furrow, wondering his meaning but still too scared to open your mouth.

The man who had gone to fetch Ian returns with a wooden tray of food and a small cup in his hands which he slides underneath a small gap underneath the makeshift cage’s door. You eye it suspiciously. Your brain and your stomach are at war with each other, one begging for sustenance while the other berates it for its naivete.

“You better eat up,” The man named Ian says. “Gonna need your strength. Looks like you haven’t been eating much. And I know you’re hungry; been out for quite some time.”

You ignore his comment about the clear loss of weight you’ve gone through recently, knowing your face was slightly more gaunt than it ought to have been from eating a lot less for the past month.

“What is it?” You question despite yourself, eyes shooting towards the tray at your feet.

“It’s deer.” He responds simply.

Your eyes dart towards the human body parts that lay on the floor. Ian smiles and understands what you’re thinking without turning to see where your gaze is directed.

“Just deer meat. I promise.”

You go back to eyeing the food they’d given you, every ounce of your willpower being tested. To give in and eat the food they’d provided would be playing into their game, but you had no idea how long you’d been asleep and you were ravenous.

The man Ian had introduced as Jacob speaks up.

“I think we should just get rid of her; she seems stubborn.”

“Most of them are,” Ian responds. “We’ll break her. Isn’t that right, sweetheart?”

You glower at him in response. He chuckles.

“We’ll give you some time,” He continues, standing up from his hunched position. “It’s ultimately up to you to decide your fate. Hope you like solitude.”

Ian looks at his companions and beckons them to leave. Jacob follows and the unnamed man picks up the sack he’d dropped previously, places the human remains on the floor inside of it, and follows the two others out before locking the door behind him.

You release a breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding this whole time. It takes a few minutes, but you’re able to pull yourself up from the floor to further examine your surroundings. Even after closer investigation, the silver fencing seemed impenetrable and solid. The wooden tray they’d served the deer meat on was flimsy and thin, impossible to use as either a weapon or a means of escape. The cup was small and plastic, completely useless for anything else other than its intended purpose.

As options for liberation grew slimmer and slimmer, you begin to hyperventilate. You had a feeling that these men intended to leave you in here alone to go completely mad, at least until they decide to execute the next stage in their malevolent plan. You had no weapons, no means of escape, no company.

Your mind finally falls on your patrol partner, Antoine. Why wasn’t he in here? Did he get away? The trio made no mention of him. He would have been in here if he was captured as well.

Or did they “take care” of him first? You begin to feel even more nauseous when you remember what the man Jacob had been doing prior to your waking. Was Antoine not spared? You had no idea how long you were out for. Ian had only said that you were out for a while. Regardless of your loathing for Antoine and his stupidity, you prayed to every known entity out there that he’d made it back to Jackson.

Your heart sank even further down your stomach upon coming to another realization: was anyone looking for you? Surely after all this time, they’d realized you hadn’t been back from your patrol. They’d sent out search parties when people had gone missing, but how determined would they be to find you? Would they not just assume you were dead or, even worse, bitten? Who would be risking their safety outside the walls of Jackson for the shadow of a person that barely a soul in the town noticed anymore?

Ellie had not slept for more than twenty minutes in the past 72 hours. Despite Maria’s protests, she’d joined the search party that had been scouring the outskirts of Jackson for you. Maria eventually relented on letting her go when Joel had volunteered to join the mass of citizens tracking you down, promising her that he’d be by her side. Jesse and Dina had both stepped forward to take part as well, but Maria put her foot down and pointed out that she still needed competent protectors to continue keeping Jackson safe.

Antoine was dragged into joining the search party on the first day to retrace the steps you and he had taken during your patrol. He abashedly walked Ellie and Joel through the house you’d been kidnapped in, leading them into the bedroom where you’d been knocked unconscious. After squeezing every bit of information out of him, Joel crisply ordered Antoine to go back outside and wait with the horses while he and Ellie scoured the place.

Within moments of their search, Ellie spots a glint of metal on the rug. She crouches down to further inspect what had caught her eye to find a sharp, golden point aiming upward. She turns it over to see it was the half-moon pin she’d given you over a year ago. It was missing the backing, which she knew meant it was accidentally torn off your backpack that she knew you’d pinned it on.

Slowly standing up, Ellie didn’t realize that she’d begun to sob. Joel turns to her and before he’s able to inquire anything of her, she holds out the hand carrying the pin. He picks it up and examines it, immediately recalling the day when he and Ellie had found it during patrol. He remembered how gleeful she was upon its discovery, how he’d rolled his eyes and chuckled over how absolutely lovestruck she was over you. He pulls her into a tight hug as she continues to cry uncontrollably.

“We’ll find her, kiddo. You and me, we crossed the entire country together and survived. We’ll find her together, I promise.”

It could have been days, weeks that had passed since you were abducted. Time had no meaning in your small prison, nothing but the sun shining through a small window to indicate what vague hour of the day it possibly was. Your only source of human interaction was when someone would bring you a tray of food twice in, what you’d assume, a day. You’d eventually caved into your hunger, realizing that you had no other choice other than resorting to the same barbaric sin these people had grown so comfortable in doing. Your only comfort was knowing that they had only been feeding you deer meat, the flavour remaining unchanged and the taste never being unfamiliar.

It was a different person delivering the food and water every time, leading you to believe that this was a larger group of people than just the three men you’d met on your first day. At first, you attempted to keep count of how many came in, but your solitary confinement was quickly driving you to delusion and you began to doubt your memory.

The only thing that was keeping you mildly sane was singing to yourself throughout the day. The act that had once brought you solace during your time in the greenhouses was the one thing that was keeping you grounded as you felt yourself slowly withering away.

🎶 Tonight, you’re mine completely // You give your love so sweetly

Tonight, the light of love is in your eyes // But will you still love me tomorrow? 🎶

Memories of Ellie come flooding to you like an avalanche: the way she’d wrap her arms around you while you were quietly humming songs from the old world to yourself as you washed dishes, the way she’d urge you to keep singing as she tried to twirl you around in your living room, how she used to love laying on your chest and listening to your crooning as you’d stroke her hair when you’d both be lounging on a day off.

🎶 Is this a lasting treasure // Or just a moment’s pleasure?

Can I believe the magic of your sighs? // Will you still love me tomorrow? 🎶

You and Ellie both bonding over your love of music was one of the first steps towards falling in love with one another. You’d always been drawn to her, since the moment your eyes met. But as you both learned more about each other, that attraction grew into the feeling of needing her for the rest of your life.

🎶 Tonight with words unspoken // You say that I’m the only one

But will my heart be broken // When the night meets the morning sun? 🎶

You wonder if you’d be where you were in the first place if you and Ellie hadn’t broken up in the first place. You would have kept your patrol duties, and maybe you wouldn’t have gotten paired up with Antoine. Maybe your desolation and disconnect from life turned you careless. You’d been in mortal peril several times in the past. But not like this.

🎶 I’d like to know that your love // Is a love I can be sure of

So tell me now and I won’t ask again // Will you still love me tomorrow?

Will you still love me tomorrow? 🎶

You needed Ellie.

It had been over four days since your sudden kidnapping, and Ellie was growing more and more desperate. There had been little traces of where you’d been taken and even less proof of whether you were still alive. Ellie felt every part of her dying every second you hadn’t been found, and the only thing that kept her going was her unyielding determination to have you safe and sound back home.

It was evening when Ellie and Joel had regrouped with the rest of the search party at a watch tower that usually served as a patrol checkpoint. She and Joel had safely tied the reins of their horses next to the others before heading to the second floor of the watchtower. Ellie had been adamant to continue searching through the night, and it took everything within Joel not to drag her by her toes to get some rest and convene with the others.

Joel was reprimanding her calmly for making them late meeting up with the rest of the search party as they walked into the room full of other Jackson citizens who were all conversing erratically. When they’d set eyes on the pair, a hush fell over the group. Ellie and Joel begin scanning their faces before a woman in the middle speaks up.

“We think we might know where they are, Joel.” She announces softly.

Ellie’s exhausted demeanour immediately shifts to alertness.

“Where? How do you know? Are you sure?” She demands agitatedly.

Joel holds a hand up to Ellie before saying, “What did you find?”

“Audrey and Lyn spotted some raiders about six miles northeast. Or at least, they thought they were raiders. They overheard their conversation and…” She looks over at a pair of women sitting on a couch to the side.

“They’re from a settlement not too far from where we spotted them.” The woman named Lyn speaks. “I’m not sure how we never discovered it, but there’s a rather large group that’s dwelling in that area. Not nearly as big as Jackson, but a good amount,”

“They armed?” Joel questions.

“Yeah. We need to be careful approaching them. It doesn’t to be as safely guarded as Jackson, but the sentries still look vicious.”

“Do we need backup?”

“I think as long as we’re smart and stealthy, our group will be good enough to infiltrate their village.”

“How do we know for sure that she’s in there?”

Lyn exchanges a look with the woman Audrey next to her.

“They were talking about some fresh meat that they’d acquired just a few days ago, a girl. They—”

Lyn falters, unable to finish her sentence. Audrey glances at her before looking at both Joel and Ellie with wary eyes.

“Th-they’re cannibals, Joel.”

All the colour drains from Ellie’s face as she’s flung into memories from a decade ago of being trapped in a cage by a man named David.

🎶 They say everything can be replaced // They say every distance is not near 🎶

You were laying on your back, facing up at the bleak and boring ceiling that you’d grown to memorize.

🎶 So I remember every face // Of every man who put me here 🎶

Your eyes were glazed over, autonomously singing lyrics to a song that you knew by heart.

🎶 I see my light come shining // From the west down to the east 🎶

You try desperately to cling to the memory of Ellie’s face, terrified to lose all the small details that you felt slowly slipping away as you descend more and more into sequestered delusion.

🎶 Any day now, any day now // I shall be released 🎶

“Is that what you think, sweetheart?” A voice interrupts your musical reverie.

You turn slowly towards the speaker who was crouching outside your cage, your head the only thing that moves as the rest of your body is too weak to physically respond.

“You have a beautiful voice. I’ve been growing fond of hearing it these past few days. Big fan of the oldies, huh?”

You continue to stare at Ian, your face expressionless.

“That’s something we’ve got in common, you and I. I’m quite partial to Otis Redding myself.”

You struggle to keep down the bile building up in your throat at hearing this repulsive man expressing love for something.

“It’s almost endearing how you still hold out hope for escaping.”

“It’s just a song.” You finally speak, deadpan.

“True.” Ian responds, his face perking up at your engagement. “You still do have a chance to be released, you know. Just gotta prove that you’ll be a valuable asset to us. Be a team player.”

“You mean consent to eating people.”

“We’re survivalists, princess. In this world, being picky is not a luxury.”

“I’d rather retain the little humanity I have left, thanks.” You retort before turning your head back to stare at the ceiling once more.

“Surviving and persevering is inherently human. We kill to survive. We take care of our own, by any means necessary.”

“So now what?” You ask. “You’re gonna chop me up into tiny pieces and serve me to your cult?”

“Hey, now. ‘Cult’ is a bit too strong of a word, muffin.” He says, defensively. “Like I said, we’re survivalists. But I’d rather not have to—how’d you say it? ‘Chop you up into tiny pieces’?”

You merely scoff in response.

“Please tell me your name.”

“No.”

“You know mine.”

“Indeed I do.”

“I’ve been quite honest with you. It’s just the polite thing to do, you know.”

“You know what’s polite?” You turn your head back towards him. “Not keeping someone in a fucking cage.”

“Just a precaution. Gotta figure out if you can be one of us.”

“In your motherfucking dreams, asshole.” You spit.

Ian sighs before standing up straight once more. He looks at you despondently.

“It’d be a shame to lose you, sweetheart. You have heart. You’re special. Having you for dinner would feel like such a waste of the little beauty left in this world.”

“I’m not your fucking sweetheart.” You seethe.

“That’s too bad.” Ian tsks. “Keep singing those songs for me, sweetheart. While you still can.”

He exits the room, and you hear the sound of multiple locks clicking as you had every time you were left alone once more.

A sinking feeling in your stomach tells you that you may not be trapped in this cage for much longer.

Ellie’s ocean-green eyes scan their surroundings, observing the guards that patrolled the edge of the village. There were at least a dozen of them and they appeared to be heavily armed as Lyn had promised. Some were keeping vigilant watch, but most were carelessly chatting with one another.

The whole party from Jackson remained perfectly concealed in the shadows of the forest right next to the village. They’d chosen to arrive at dusk at the exact time that the sun had just set, perfect to remain eclipsed in the shade but having enough light to navigate the unfamiliar town.

Joel lifts his head slightly from the bush he and Ellie were hidden behind, meeting the eyes of the others as he gave a signal. They all nodded in quiet response as they readied their weapons, some holding pistols equipped with makeshift silencers and Ellie with her faithful bow and arrow. One by one, they take out each of the guards. They fall quickly to the ground, none having enough time to react or sound any alarm of an attack. The second the last one collapses, Joel holds up a hand as he silently counts down before signalling the rest to quickly approach.

Ellie is the quickest to reach the border of the town, having set aside her bow and equipping her semi-auto pistol. Remembering information Lyn and Audrey had provided from their overheard conversation, she swiftly weaves through the village as her eyes scoured for a brick house with a metal entryway. Most of the buildings seemed to be partially constructed with a wooden exterior, but if their intel was correct, you were being kept in some kind of slaughterhouse.

As she’s made it halfway through the town, Ellie catches the eye of another companion who gestures to a brown cinder block building being guarded by two citizens holding hunting rifles. She scans the scene before aiming her gun towards them, her precise shots quieted by a silencer. Both guards topple over almost immediately, giving Ellie the opportunity to sprint towards the entrance. She’s joined by a boy named Levi to see the door to the slaughterhouse sealed off by a heavy padlock. She signals Levi to draw back before aiming her pistol and shattering the lock.

Ellie tears it off the handles before wrenching the doors open. She actively ignores the heavy machinery and smell of rotting meat and spots a door that appeared to lead down to a lower floor. That too was padlocked and she immediately attended to it the same way she’d done with the first. Levi remains behind to keep watch as Ellie quietly descends down the stairs to the basement.

She ignores all the doorways leading to other rooms when she spots a heavy-looking metal door with multiple locks. As she approaches it, she hears a muffled melody from behind it.

Is that…singing?

🎶 Now you say you’re lonely // You cry the whole night through

Well, you can cry me a river, cry me a river // I cried a river over you 🎶

Ellie recognizes the same voice she had fallen in love with all those years ago as yours, her heart filling with affection and her spirits being lifted for the first time in days.

🎶 Now you say you’re sorry // For being so untrue

Well, you can cry me a river, cry me a river // I cried a river over you 🎶

As she examines the steel entryway for an opening, she’s flooded with memories of secretly listening to your innocent singing when you had thought you were alone.

🎶 You drove me, nearly drove me out of my head // While you never shed a tear

Remember, I remember all that you said // Told me that love was too plebeian

Told me you were through with me 🎶

Ellie unbolts several latches and uses her pistol to shoot off yet another heavy-duty lock that separated her from you.

🎶 And now you say you love me // Well, just to prove you do

Come on and cry me a river, cry me a river // I cried a river over you 🎶

She violently wrenches the weighty door open, realizing now more than ever how much she needs you.

🎶 I cried a river over you

I cried a river over you

I cried a river over you 🎶

The song fades to an end as her eyes fall onto a figure trapped within silver fencing, laying flat on its back with its hands folded on its stomach.

“B-baby?” Ellie whispers, eyes filling with tears.

Your own eyes remain closed as you ignore the quiet voice you assumed was Ian, returning once more to torment you and perhaps even drag you to your death.

Ellie approaches your cage, her gaze falling on your frame for the first time in what felt like an eternity. She notices how much scraggier you appeared, clearly being fed very little during your confinement.

She clears her throat softly as she crouches down to your level, hand falling on the fencing that felt reminiscent of the prison she was once held in all those years ago.

“Baby.” She repeats once more, her voice clearer and fuller.

“Go to hell, Ian.” You finally vocalize, eyes still remaining closed and ignoring how the voice seemed different from that of Ian’s. You conclude that you’ve finally reached the point of delusion where any voice you hear mimics that of your ex-girlfriend.

“No, it’s-it’s me.” Ellie whispers.

You finally open your eyes and turn towards the source of introduction. Your eyebrows lift slightly as you take in the features of the girl you were still madly in love with, despite everything. You look her up and down for a few moments before returning to your original position.

“This is a rather cruel joke. I preferred it when my hallucinations left me alone, thank you.”

“This isn’t a hallucination,” Ellie utters as she feels her heart crack. “I’m here, baby. I’m here.”

You turn back towards her and finally sit up, further examining your new companion. You scrutinize her further, still fully of the belief that your delusion had finally taken hold of you. You approach the border of your cage slowly before speaking.

“Are you real?” You ask.

Finally within your reach, Ellie holds a hand out as far as she’s able to stroke your cheek.

“I’m real, pretty girl. I promise.”

The moment her skin touches yours, your body is filled with a sense of vigour and life that it hadn’t felt in weeks.

“E-Ellie?” You say meekly.

“I’m here,” She repeats. “I’m here. I’m getting you out right now.”

“No, you’re not. Hands up.”

Your body freezes at the sound of the voice you’d grown to be familiar with the past few days.

“Drop the gun. Now.”

Ellie immediately lets go of her pistol and rigidly straightens up from her crouched position. She turns slowly towards Ian who has a revolver pointed, not at her, but at you.

“So, my new pet has a little friend? Sweetheart, you never told me about her.”

“Don’t fucking call her that.” Ellie spits.

“I can call her whatever I want. I’m not the one with a gun to their head.”

Ellie eyes his revolver and slowly inches to shield you from his aim.

“Don’t you fucking move!” Ian hisses. “I can shoot you, then shoot her.”

“E-Ellie, please just,” You stutter. “Move out of the way.”

“No,” Ellie mutters through gritted teeth, standing her ground. “I’m not fucking moving.”

“You’ve got until the count of three.” He orders her.

You grip the back of Ellie’s shirt through the fence, silently urging her to move. She refuses to yield.

“One,” Ian begins. “Two—”

His countdown is interrupted by the butt of a gun colliding with the back of his head. Joel emerges from behind him holding up a hunting rifle.

You let out a choked-out sob, your grip on Ellie’s shirt loosening. Hot tears were falling down your cheeks that you didn’t notice until Ellie turned towards you to check on your state, wiping them away.

“Are you okay?” She asks fervently.

“I-I…” You stammer.

“We need to go now.” Joel interrupts. “We may have taken out a few guards, but we don’t know how many more they have stationed out there.”

Joel searches Ian’s unconscious body, finding a set of keys in his front pocket. After some trial and error, he and Ellie are able to find the key that unlocked your cage.

Ellie pulls you into a tight embrace, repeatedly whispering “thank god, thank god,” into your hair. You pull away, feeling slightly suffocated and having no desire to remain within this room that served as your prison for what felt like years.

Ellie picks up the pistol she had dropped before she begins to walk you towards the exit. But before you reach it, Ian begins to stir from beneath you. Both Joel and Ellie point their respective guns at him.

“Wait.” You say, holding a hand up.

“Baby, but—“ Ellie begins but stops when she sees you reaching towards the butcher’s knife that had been stabbed into the chopping table, the same one that had served as your only view during your confinement.

Ellie releases your waist just as you lift the cleaver above your head.

The moment you step out of the slaughterhouse, you nearly collapse. It was almost as if the air outside your prison was twice as thick than within, and your lungs were still incapable of not choking from it.

Ellie, sensing you about to drop, quickly wraps her arms around your waist as your legs crumple beneath you. She scoops you up from your knees and carries you down the road, Joel following quickly behind. As you spot the borders of the town where familiar faces from Jackson begin convening around you, you black out in a flash.

You wake up to the familiar scent of cedarwood and sage. Your body feels weighed down onto what felt like a bed, unable to move your limbs with ease. Every part of you still wished to remain asleep, but something else seemed to be pulling you out of your comatose state. Your eyes are the first to move, fluttering open slowly and agonizingly before they survey the position you’d been unconsciously placed in.

Light peeks through sheer blue curtains that decorated Ellie’s garage window to your right. You shift your head slightly to gaze through the panes, regarding how there was barely any snow on the ground. Your eyebrows knit in bewilderment, wondering how long you’d been out for that the snow had finally melted.

“It rained yesterday while you were sleeping.”

You slowly turn towards the sound of the gentle, calming voice and meet the ocean-green eyes that had been staring at you since the moment you’d woken.

“What?” You whisper, voice croaking from lack of use.

“That’s why there’s no snow anymore. Rain melted it away last night.”

Ellie was sitting at the foot of the bed, a graphic novel right next to her that now lay forgotten.

You stare at her in befuddlement, perplexed at how she’d read your mind so quickly and easily just from a look.

“Oh,” You say. “How long was I out for?”

“About a day or so.”

“Shit. I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing?” Ellie says, moving from her spot to settle next to you. She places a gentle hand on top of yours.

“I-I don’t know.” You reply, cringing instinctively at her touch.

She pulls away immediately.

“S-sorry…”

“It’s okay.” You utter, heart rising to your cheeks. “Is everyone alright?”

“Everyone’s fine, I promise. We were able to get in and out quick with no casualties on our side.”

“No one was hurt?”

“That kid Levi is probably a little traumatized after entering that slaughterhouse, but he’ll probably stop vomiting anytime soon.” Ellie attempts a joke, smiling slightly.

You don’t return her smile, looking down at your hands in guilt. The memories of being trapped in that isolated hell were still so raw and you were trying not to throw up from the thought of it yourself.

“I can’t believe I was so stupid to get caught like that. I put so many people in fucking danger just because I let my guard down. I fucking—”

“No, don’t do that.” Ellie interrupts. Her hand twitches, as if she wanted to touch you again but stopped herself. “That fucking coward Antoine should have never left you alone.”

“It’s not his fault… He was just scared. It’d have probably been worse if he got caught along with me.”

“If you just had a competent partner out there with you… It should have been me in the first place like it always was before.” Ellie curses.

“It’s fine…” You mutter.

“It’s not fucking fine!” Ellie exclaims, throwing her hands up and getting up in frustration. You watch as she paces by the bed. “I-I could have lost you, baby.”

“Why does that matter?” You whisper.

“B-because…” Ellie stutters, not making eye contact with you. “Because I love you.”

You stare at her vacantly. Those had been the words you’d been wanting to hear again from her for the past month. But you couldn’t bring yourself to believe her.

“You didn’t before.” You say blankly. “What you did, someone who loved me wouldn’t do that. You left me. You fucking left me.”

Ellie kneels next to you and dares put her hands on top of yours once more.

“I never stopped loving you, baby. The past few weeks… it was fucking hell on earth. It took fucking everything in me not to crawl back on my knees to you and beg for your forgiveness.”

“But you didn’t,” You argue. “You threw me out, Ellie. You told me to stop calling you ‘baby.’ The past month… it was slowly killing me, and you didn’t give a damn. You didn’t fucking care. You went about your life like you didn’t tear my heart out of my chest. I haven’t seen you once since that night, and suddenly you’re here telling me you still love me.”

“Cause it hurt me every time I saw you.” Ellie says, voice cracking and eyes watering. “Every time I saw you when I passed by the greenhouses or when I would see you walking home… it fucking hurt.”

“Didn’t fucking seem like it. ”

“I-I thought… I thought being apart was what was best for us. I loved you so much and I didn’t want my past to get in the way, I thought that maybe I could make you see that I’m faithful to you and only you. It was so fucking stupid, I was so fucking stupid.”

Tears were streaming down Ellie’s face nonstop now, staining the bedsheets.

“Everything that happened to you the past few days, it was my fault. You’d never have been there if I didn’t push you away. I can only imagine the kind of torture you went through, being in there. I was so fucking terrified, the most I’d ever been in my whole life. All because I was too fucking proud, too fucking blind.”

Your breath hitches, remembering the time Ellie’d confided in you one sleepless night about what happened to her a decade ago when she was kidnapped by a man named David.

“I’m so sorry, baby.” Ellie continues. “You’re everything I’ve ever wanted. I don’t love anybody else. You don’t know how much I need you, how much I’ll always need you. I was so fucking stupid, I’m so sorry.”

You pull one of your hands away from hers to caress her face, the corners of your lips turning up slightly.

“Yeah. Yeah, you are kind of stupid.”

Ellie’s eyes widen in surprise and her face breaks out into a teary smile.

“It took me getting kidnapped and eaten by a group of cannibals for you to apologize?” You say, joking for the first time in a month. Ellie laughs awkwardly.

“I’ll never leave you again. I swear.”

“No, you don’t have to swear, Ellie. It’s—“

She shakes her head.

“I know I have to gain your trust back. I can’t imagine the hell you went through the past few days, and the most important thing for me right now is to make sure you’re okay. And to make sure you know that I’ll be here with you. Forever, until you don’t want me anymore.”

“I’ll always want you, Ellie.” You smile, your thumb wiping her tears away. She leans into your hand as she gazes lovingly back at you.

“C-can I kiss you?” She asks softly. You freeze for a moment.

“I-I’m still… I mean, the past few days are still—” You begin to stutter.

“It’s okay, baby.” She whispers. “Please don’t rush yourself, take your time.”

She settles for taking your hand on her face between both of hers and giving it the lightest of kisses. You smile before she speaks again.

“I’ll wait forever.”

author’s notes:

absolutely insane how long this one-shot turned out to be. it was supposed to be much, much shorter but oops. thank you for being patient with me.

reader’s moon pin is in third quarter (or just a half moon) because third quarter moon is supposed to represent forgiveness and revisiting past actions and etc. thought it was fitting :)

the part where reader wakes up in the cage is supposed to mirror when ellie was captured by david in the first game, so if it sounds familiar, that's why

the cult leader's name is ian simply because i have an ex-boyfriend whose name is ian and i hate his guts, it was fun to name a bad guy after him

love you all, promise i’ll work on ncty soon. just dealing with a lot of shit in my personal life rn (yes a lot of it is shit with my ex shut up), so just keep being patient with me if y’all can ♡︎

taglist: @spaceshipellie, @ximtiredx, @jajsnjz, @sawaagyapong, @beforeimdeceased, @carmellie, @thatgiraffefromtlou, @elliesplaylist, @p1llowthoughtss, @lonelyfooryouonly, @machetegirl109, @herdelreydear, @elliesnumber1gf, @ellies-tatoo, @eleactric

[ur-local-anti-hero]

Dear John

Regulus Black x Reader

Summary: Maybe you should have listened to your best friend's warning about Regulus, you didn't. Now you just have to deal with the consequences.

Genre: Angst

CW: Intimidation, angst, pureblood's ideology, toxic family dynamics

Word count: 1.6K

This is part of my Speak now (Marauders' version) collection.

“Maybe it's you and your sick need. To give love then take it away

And you'll add my name to your long list of traitors, Who don't understand

And I'll look back and regret I ignored when they said, "Run as fast as you can"

You wished you had listened. The argument you had with Sirius when he learned you were dating his brother was being replayed in your head while you ran towards your boyfriend’s room. 

“He’s going to ruin you, you don’t know him like I do.” Sirius had said, voice low with anger and worry. “The moment my mother hears about you two it’s over.” 

“You’re the one that doesn’t know him!” It had angered you, Sirius assuming that Regulus’ love for you was fragile. “I really love him, and he loves me. End of discussion.” 

“You don’t understand what you’re getting into. My brother would never prioritize you over our mother. and she’s never going to accept a Gryffinfor Muggleborn as a suitable partner for Regulus” 

You knew he was right, but some part of you naively thought that Regulus truly loved you.

“I’m saying this because I care about you. You should leave while you can” you could tell Sirius was worried and meant no harm, but that argument ended your friendship with the oldest Black brother. 

That was almost a year ago, you used to have a close friendship with him, but now he wouldn’t even acknowledge you. You refused to break up with Regulus, and you really thought you were doing the right thing. Regulus had shown you every part of him, you knew about his family and all the things he had done and regretted. But you also knew about the caring, loving and kind person he was. 

Even when the war was starting to become more and more imminent as the dark lord and deatheaters won power and followers, he never showed any interest in joining into the dark lord’s lines. The abuse and intimidation became worse and worse for mugglerborns who had the bad luck of running into slytherings in the hallways. 

Regulus was very aware of it, he became like your shadow, never leaving your side until curfew forced him to. And he was the first to greet you every morning, waiting for you outside your house’s common room. 

At least it was like this before Christmas break. It had been a week since you come back from the break and Regulus was acting weird, at first you thought it was because he had to adapt again to Hogwarts - It took him some time to come back to his normal self ater staying in his house - but after a week of almost no contact with him you became worried. 

On your way to the dungeons you ran into Snape and Evan. You had tried to avoid them, head low and pace hurried, but it seemed like they had a special radar to spot possible victims for their tortures and mocking. They blocked your path, you were cornered against a wall as they got closer than it was safe. 

“Look who is here” Evan had teased you, his wand pointing at your face. “Regulus’ little pet”

“Why are you separated from your guardian dog?” Snape taunted you. “Has he finally realized that he’s got more important things to do rather than take care of a filthy mudblood?” 

You didn’t like a bit where the situation was going, you had tried to reach your wand, but Snape had noticed and raised his wand at you. 

“Don’t even think about it” 

“You know, Snape? I’m curious.” He hadn’t stopped looking at you. “What are you doing here, there’s no way you’re going to see Regulus right?”  

He knew exactly that it was the only reason you would ever step into the dungeons. His face turned into a look of fake pity. 

“Oh. Poor little thing, he hasn’t told you has he?” Evan was mocking you, playing with your psyche as all slytherings liked to, still his next words made your blood run cold. “He’s become the new right-hand for the dark lord. As he ought to, at the end of the day he’s a Black.” 

That’s when you started running, Snape and Evan probably tought it was enough torture to mess with your head and they let you pass them by without much hussle. 

And you ran all the way to the Slythering common room. Usually you wouldn’t dare to enter alone, but you needed to see Regulus. You didn’t want to believe Evan’s words, ‘He’s probably trying to confuse you, make you confront Regulus and cause an argument’. You were trying to convince yourself, but you couldn’t deny that the possibility was there. 

You made it to Regulus’ dorm, without even knocking you entered. Inside Regulus was laying in his bed, Barty was in one of the desks, working on homework, or a plan to destroy civilization. You didnt really care, all you could focus on was Reg. 

“Regulus” your voice didn’t feel like yourself, it was void of any emotion other than obvious tiredness from your running. 

Regulus jolted out of bed when he heard you. Barty turned around and his lips morphed into a teasing smirk. 

“Oh well, look who’s here -” “Leave, now.” Barty was cut short by Regulus’ demand, for a second you thought he was talking to you, but he was facing Barty. 

“okay, okay. No need to get aggressive…” Barty said before getting up from the chair. He walked past you, didn’t even acknowledge your presence, and closed the door behind him. 

───✥───

Regulus knew this was coming, there was no way you wouldn’t notice his absence or avoid entirely the rumors of the new deatheater in Hogwarts. He just wished it didn’t have to be this way. He coudn’t face you, from the start you and him were on opposite sides of the war, but he getting the mark was what made it definite. 

“Reg-” “What do you want?”

 Regulus’ voice was icy, not a single emotion in it. He saw you flinch at his tone. He never talked to you like that, his tone was always sweet and words picked with care whenever he referred to you. His change in demeanour angered and saddened you, he could tell. 

“Are you really asking me what I want?” your tone was colder now, you stepped closer with each word. “I’ve barely seen you for a week, and the moment I step into the dungeons the first thing I hear is that you’re the new right-hand for the dark lord. Please, tell me it’s not true”  

He could hear your voice crack and your waterline become wet with unsed tears. He knew you so well, he knew you were not going to cry, he knew you would give him the benefit of the doubt and hear him out. He knew that if he would tell you the truth, how he was forced and tortured to take the mark, you would understand, try to find a way to help and stand by his side. 

“It’s true” 

And he couldn’t allow that. If he were to let you in again, he wouldn’t be able to do what he had to do. End things, for your sake. 

“You’re lying to me, this is all a big joke, it has to be” you cried. 

He didn’t reply, he couldn’t bring himself to say anything. At his silence you reached for his sleeve, pulling it up. He didn’t even flinch, and he let you stare at his bare arm. Well, not bare, as the deatheater mark was there, taking up half of his arm. 

You dropped his arm and stared at him in absolute shock. He didn’t say anything, that was angered the most, how he was not even able to say anything. 

“You didn’t want to, right?” he stayed silent “Please, say something” you implored. 

“It's my duty, it’s what 's right.” he deadpanned. 

You chuckled humorlessly “What’s right? That 's right? You’re joining a pureblood supremacist cult, there’s nothing right about it!”  

“And what about us, do I mean that little to you? Does our relationship mean anything at all to you?”  you said in a softer tone. 

“No. It was a mistake, from the start. I shouldn’t have dated a mudblood” Regulus had to make an enormous effort to not flinch at his own words. But this would make you leave, it had to. 

You promised yourself you wouldn’t cry, but the heartbreak you were feeling was unlike anything you’d ever felt. Regulus had been able to make you feel special, loved for almost two years. He held your heart in his hands and treated it with care, now he was ripping it and giving back to you. 

He didn’t want to fight for your love and you were not going to beg anymore. 

“You’re right. It’s funny, really, Sirius warned me this would happen, but I was too blinded to see that he was right” bringing up Sirius was a low blow, you knew how much he meant for Regulus. But at that moment all you wanted was to make him feel the same heartbreak you were feeling. 

“At the end of the day you’re a Black.” You repeated the same words Evan had said to you on your way to the dungeons. 

Regulus just stood there and nodded. You left his room, clearly distressed and crying. Regulus’ heart was shattered beyond repair. However, this was the best option. He would rather see you leaving, crying and heartbroken for the last time in his life, than lying on the floor lifeslessly as his family had promised if he didn’t leave you and took the mark. 

At the end of the day he was really just a Black, it was the family he was born to and the family he’ll die for. 

Author's note: this one is so sad, I'm sorry Thank you for reading! Likes, comments and reblogs are welcomed and very appreciated. I'd love to hear what you thought about it so don't be shy!! To be part of the taglist Dm me or send me an ask <3 Taglist @feral-posts @izuoyarmin @aremuslupinsim @yourfavgay @imobsessedwitholiviarodrigo 

[havingbloodisgay]

My Wheel Bitten OC

Only a face drawing for now but she’s based off of my old pet gecko Evie before she passed away so her looks are based off of a super snow leopard gecko :) sadly I lost all the photos I had of her after my old phone somehow broke and all my pictures and videos corrupted so I’m just using photos from the web. this is what Evie looked like tho:

Description:

Name: Evie Avika 

Age: 26

Height: 5’10

Hair color: Changes cuz she dyes her hair a lot

Eye color: really dark brown so if lights are not shining directly into her eyes burning her retinas it looks black.

Marital status: Dating her lovely S/O who I’ll have to draw later

LORE *Dramatic applause*

She’s Kari and Ponti’s nail tech, having met Kari first a few days after Kari’s… “Accident with humans” and Ponti much later when Kari brought him with her to an appointment once. Kari realized one of her claws got damaged when she ran away and that she wasn’t comfortable being around humans and needed to find a new nail place. After a while of looking she found a nail tech that had pretty good reviews and went in where she met Evie. 

Evie also doesn’t like most humans from having dropped her tail due to human brutality (My gecko Evie was abused by past owners and her tail having dropped from their cat attacking her before they abandoned her at an animal rescue) how it would look:

Kinda how it looks now: 

 and how during school they would mainly shove things in her ears which are like a lizards where there’s just kinda holes in the sides of her head.:

Evie loves Kari like a sister at her appointments she always makes sure to cut the bill down to way less than what she would normally charge due to this (she would make it free but the last time she did that her and Kari got into an argument about it lmao she also does the same with Ponti when he comes in). She was a bit surprised when Ollie came over for the first time to pick up Kari but as a nail tech in a similar way to Abio’s mom she’s seen weirder and was just a little nervous at first cause she didn’t want him to end up hurting Kari by dumping her <:) but she really likes him cause he’s always so polite and always a gentleman to Kari.

But Jesus did Ponti scare her shitless at first with all the things she heard about him and that he’s killed people before and was the leader of a cult but she was really surprised to just find out he was a chill dude after he took THE HAT off when he came inside of her office. She also thinks of him like a little brother in a way and is always scolding him for not moisturizing his cuticles with how there’s always small bits of shed stuck there and how dry it makes them. SHE ADORES ABIO SO MUCH she literally grabbed his face when she first met him and was literally telling Ponti how cute and small he was and continued to threaten Ponti not to break his heart.

She hasn’t met the rest of the gang but idk I might do that later cause I’m writing this on my phone instead of my laptop at 1:27am and am tired as shit soooo yeh sorry if there’s any mistakes (there absolutely is I know that much) but I’m tired and the American education system failed me.

for the lovely @toxooz

[a-dumb-sarcastic-bisexual]

This is my first free day in a week and I spent it writing Nimona headcanons

I like to believe that after they stop being knights Bal and Ambrosius get to relax physically 

They don’t have a constant workout routine and they don’t have incredibly strict diets 

Don’t get me wrong they go to the gym a couple of times a week and try to eat healthy 

But they don’t have a workout schedule they need to follow and if they want to have pizza five days in a row then they’re eating pizza 

The first couple of years they tried to keep up with their normal regimen until they realized that they weren’t following it for the right reasons they were just following it because it’s what they’d always done 

But Bal gets this weird smile on his face when he realizes both him and Ambrosius bodies are a little softer 

And Ambrosius never judges Bal when he decides he doesn’t want to go to the gym that week

He’s guilty of rewarding that behavior by kissing Bal on the cheek and making his favorite breakfast 

Ambrosius bruises like a damn peach 

It’s almost embarrassing how easily marks show up on his skin this man has at least 6 bruises on each leg at any given moment 

There have been many times when Bal has genuinely considered setting up a camera in their room to see if Ambrosius is hitting himself on accident 

He also has had more broken bones than anyone can count he’s broken both his arms and legs in multiple places he’s also broken all his fingers and most of his toes 

Nothing in his face has been broken though 

The funny thing is he’s never sprained or dislocated anything and he holds a weird amount of pride in that

It also takes a lot for him to get scars he’s got some from duels and some surgeries 

But the biggest one is from the Directors' lazor 

Bal is built like a brick shithouse he’s never broken a bone ever he hasn’t even gotten close and there have been a lot of times when he should

There have been multiple occasions when doctors were surprised to find that he didn’t at least have a fractured 

He sprained and dislocated a few things though and he scars pretty easy 

If Nimona doesn’t want something to break or bruise or scar then it doesn’t it’s as simple as that but sometimes she lets scars stay if she thinks they’re cool enough

The first scar she kept was the one from the arrow 

I feel like a lot of people think the trio would get a cat or a dog but I raise you: fish

Like you’re telling me that Bal wouldn’t spend an unreasonable amount of time setting up an entire area where a fish tank would go 

The trio wouldn’t spend hours on hours researching the different types of fish that they wanted and making sure they could live together peacefully 

That they wouldn't set up the tank 48 hours before getting the fish while simultaneously making sure the tank is perfect decorations-wise 

And they wouldn’t spend extra time making sure the transportation process from the store to their house is as stress-free as possible so the fish don’t die from shock alone

And if you don’t believe that then you’re lying to yourself because they absolutely would do all of that 

Sometimes when the boys are stressed out of their minds they’ll just stare at the tank and witness their fish thrive 

Nimona suggests that they name the fish after fish dishes and the boys surprisingly agree 

Nimona will also jokingly say he’ll eat them whenever they’re being difficult but in reality he would kill someone to protect those damn fish

The boys would too but they’d never admit it

[foreverjustaplace]

The Bear in the Room

AHHHHHHH!! I'm not at all normal about Syd and Carmy. Like not at all. I have been reading and writing fanfiction since elementary LOL, but it's been years and years since I wrote anything. I've devoured just about every single fanfic with the Syd/Carmy tag I could find and then some. I've had this tumblr for over a decade and posted ZERO things. Now I've retweeted every other sydcarmy post and debated sharing my own theories and fics. But it's time. Feedback is welcomed! But be gentle, my darlings, I'm not exaggerating when I say I haven’t written fanfiction in over a decade. I'm nervous. Here's an excerpt from the first chapter, which will hopefully be up soon on AO3. It's called The Bear in The Room and will be a 5+1 Time fic.

5 Times Syd called Carmy "Bear" and 1 Times he calls her "Bear"

Syd is irritated. “Look, Carm. Effective teamwork begins and ends with communication.” She doesn’t tell him she stole that line from Coach K. “How can we build this up to be as successful as we want it to be if you’re not even telling me you’re going to be late? Or, I don’t know, text me if you’re not going to come in at all during our scheduled time.”

“Syd, that was one time. And I didn’t realize my phone wasn’t plugged in properly which is why it died and I couldn’t text you until much later. That’s my fault. I was tired–”

Sydney cuts him off. “Carmy, dude, I’ve literally gotten less than five hours of sleep each night for the last couple of weeks. We’re all tired. We’ve been tired. This shit isn’t new for us. We need you on your A-game. I need you at your best!” 

Carmy runs both of his hands through his hair, and his voice is strained but louder than it’s been all morning. “Syd, you are the one person who gets me at my best. If I’m fucking up out there,” he gestures to the windows behind them as he continues, “I’m doing everything in my power to not bring that shit near you. I give you whatever my best is, okay? You have to know that I want this restaurant to succeed, and I want to get you those fucking stars.” His face redding as his electric blue eyes look into her expansive brown ones. 

Syd’s annoyance is fizzling out. She knows she shouldn’t let it. She wants to keep it at the forefront of her mind. She tries to force herself to keep thinking about how he’s been absent, hanging out with his girlfriend–a friend who’s a girl–Claire–whoever she is to him–but he’s still Carm and she’s still Syd. And though she hasn’t worked on the menu with him in his apartment in weeks, and though the moments of them talking about nothing and everything outside during a smoke break, where he somehow is always just finishing the cigarette he came outside to smoke as she opens the back door and comes to sit right next to him, haven’t been as frequent, she still feels deeply connected to him. 

So all she can do at that moment is bite her bottom lip and swipe her tongue on that same spot so quickly, you’d miss it if you blinked, before hesitantly responding. “You have my best, too, and I—” But she doesn’t get to finish because Fak chooses that moment to push the restaurant’s new door open and boisterously yell out to no one in particular, “Look who I found! It’s Claire Bear and she is going to help us with our GET-THE-BEAR-FUCKING-READY-FOR-OPENING-DAY day!” Syd can’t help but stare at Claire, a beat too long, with her full face of makeup and fancy-looking shirt. At least she put on some closed-toed shoes for today. Before Claire can get out of Fak’s embrace, Syd turns back to Carmen and says, “I need your best to be better,” as she walks off to find Nat.

Soo what do you think? Is it worth posting?

[farfromstrange]

Do No Harm

CHAPTER SIX: "You Deserve To Be Happy"

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

Pairing: Matt Murdock x F!Reader

Summary: Foggy has a bone to pick with his best friend, and you decide to call Matt later that night.

Warnings for this chapter: attempt at humor, slight (very slight) angst, Matt's POV, mentions of sex, suggestive language, flirting, Matt being Matt

Word Count: 3.2k

A/n: I finally finished this chapter. I had more planned, but that would have made the whole thing too confusing. I also realized that I suck at finding the right chapter titles, but oh well. Enjoy this little fluff piece!

Read Chapter 6: "You Deserve To Be Happy" here on AO3

The air is brisk when Foggy and Matt step out of Metro General and into the night. Pieces of gravel stick to Matt’s shoes, and he can feel them digging into his skin through the thin soles protecting his feet from the wet asphalt. The wind resembles a leather whip as it brushes his heated cheeks. He can smell the odor of the city in every breath he takes.

Matt may hate hospitals, but every time he talks to you, the world turns a little quieter. All he has to do was focus on your heartbeat, the faintest hint of vanilla and salt that always lingers on your skin, and listen to the gentle melody of your breathing—your voice builds a bubble of safety around him, but now that he is no longer standing right in front of you, reality begins to seep back in. 

Foggy, whose arm he’s clutching as they make their way across the street, stares at Matt with eyes the size of dinner plates. Matt can feel his gaze burning through the skin protecting his skull, right into his brain. His friend is trying to decipher what he’s thinking, but he struggles to process what happened in the past thirty minutes and what on earth caused him to behave the way he did. 

The thought of you must have possessed him, he’s sure of that. You, and you alone. You were right there in front of him, and the part of him that craved some sense of normal took over when all he wanted was to stay away and forget this day ever happened. 

Does he regret it? Matt wants to, but his chest hasn’t felt this light in a very long time. The truth is that the tiniest selfish part of him, the part of him that is a born masochist, wants to see you again. He wants to see you again because he knows that it will inevitably hurt him in the long run. Good things don’t happen to him without a cost. Though, when he thinks about it, he might as well end up hurting you, and he would never forgive himself if that were to happen. 

He’s conflicted, but he’s also oddly happy. He’s excited. He feels… giddy. It’s a feeling he isn’t too familiar with, and he still has to decide whether or not he likes it. It is a contrast to the constant self-loathing and the darkness that surrounds him. 

Foggy finally finds his voice again on the other side of the sidewalk. “Dude!” he says. 

Matt flinches at his voice in his ear. “Foggy,” he warns. 

“Dude!” he repeats, stopping to grab his friend’s arm. 

“Foggy, don’t,” says Matt. 

He can feel the blood rushing to his cheeks. If he sees him blush like a schoolboy with a crush, he will never hear the end of it. But after what Foggy witnessed back at the hospital, he is already one step ahead of his desperate attempts to prevent a tirade of endless teasing.

Foggy shakes his head. “What the hell was that?!” 

“Listen–”

“Why didn’t you tell me you had a hot doctor friend that you met while I was dying?”

“Okay, Foggy, you weren’t dying, you dislocated your shoulder. And besides, how would I even know if she’s hot?”

“You always know! I don’t know if you can smell it, or–or if you have a built-in radar for attractive women with questionable morals, or if you just attract them because you’re a very good-looking guy. Either way, it’s not fair.” Foggy groans. “God, if you could’ve seen how she looked at you, Matt,” he says. “I don’t know if I should be jealous or impressed.”

Matt opens his mouth to respond, but he breaks off into an awkward chuckle instead. The blood in his cheeks has spread, and he knows for a fact that his entire face is red. Thankfully, it’s too dark for Foggy to notice. His ears perked up when he mentioned the way you looked at him, even though it shouldn’t matter to him. He knows you are beautiful because he sees you in a way someone with functioning eyesight could never, but he can’t explain that to anyone. He knows, and that’s enough. 

“She stepped in front of a gun for a stranger who was high off his ass,” Foggy adds. “Who does that other than people with a death wish? Oh, and did I mention that you literally made her swoon after someone punched her in the face? She couldn’t take her eyes off you.”

“Foggy,” Matt tries to stop him again. 

“No,” he says. “Why didn’t you tell me? I thought I was your best friend. Your wingman. The Maverick to your Goose. I deserve to hear all about your crazy love life! Especially if it’s a hot doctor who jumps in front of guns.”

“I–uh–” One hand clutches his cane while the other reaches to pinch the bridge of his nose. “Look, she patched up that bump on my head last week while you were getting your shoulder X-rayed, alright? We talked, but that’s it. I didn’t think it was important.”

“And you didn’t think a stranger offering to patch the reminder of your clumsiness up for free would be worth mentioning to your best friend?”

“She’s a doctor, Foggy.”

“A hot doctor who looked like she was undressing you with her eyes,” Foggy retorts. 

Matt groans. “And how was I supposed to know that?”

“I don’t know. I told you, you always know. It’s fucking creepy.”

His groan turns into an exasperated sigh. “Can we just… walk?” he asks. 

Foggy nods. He offers his arm, and Matt takes it gladly. His cane taps in a steady rhythm against the asphalt. The gravel underneath his shoes is still stuck there. 

He’s not sure why it agitates him so much that Foggy is talking about you as if you are comparable to other women. You’re not. You’re in a league of your own, one that Matt isn’t sure he could ever reach. And you’re different. 

Everywhere he goes, Matt encounters a variety of personalities, a lot of which he comes across often. While that’s not a bad thing, he tends to tune out those who overwhelm him for the sake of his sanity. Your personality can’t be sorted into a category. You’re unique enough to stand out from a crowd. Matt can’t put his finger on it. 

Foggy can think of you what he wants, but he will never experience you the way Matt does.

“You think she’s gonna call?” Foggy asks into the silence that had settled in between the two of them. 

Matt shrugs. “I don’t know,” he says. 

“Do you want her to?”

For a moment, he’s rendered speechless. That’s the dilemma, isn’t it? Whether he wants you to call or not? It would be so much easier if he could just be honest. 

“I don’t know,” Matt says again. 

“I think you do,” Foggy answers. “You two would make a hot couple.” Sometimes, his mouth is faster than his brain. “Not in an “I want a threesome” kinda way, of course. That’s not—I mean, you’re a very good-looking guy. I’d think that if I were, you know, a woman or- or into you, which I’m not, but... I meant ‘cause she’s hot and you two together—well, you know what I mean.”

“If I say yes, can we talk about something else?”

“No, dude. I’m invested.”

“Liv isn’t… it’s not like that.”

“It’s never like that with you, Matt. Until two days later, and I walk in on you two naked with a bottle of whipped cream on your nightstand, and her name written in melted chocolate on your back.”

“Okay,” Matt interrupts him, “that was–” He tries hard not to smirk, but he fails miserably, “that was one time!” 

Foggy shakes his head. “One too many, my friend. One too freakin’ many.”

“To be fair, I couldn’t see what she was doing.”

“I’m just saying,” Foggy says, “if you decide to go for it with Miss I-Jump-In-Front-Of-Guns-For-Fun, I wanna know so I can hype you up and make sure that I don’t barge into your apartment unannounced on a Friday night, at least not without a bottle of bleach to burn the pictures out of my head.”

His chuckle resembles a giggle when he opens his mouth to respond, “Alright, I can, uh, live with that.”

“Hey.” Matt can feel Foggy’s eyes on him. “You deserve to be happy, man.”

That wipes the smile off his face. Happy. He can’t remember a time when he was truly happy. The few times he was can be counted on one hand, and every time he found himself in a place of happiness, it ended up shattering like a fragile wine glass, spilling the maroon contents everywhere and scarring him for life. 

Matt isn’t sure if he can believe Foggy. In his mind, deserving happiness is equal to walking the path of redemption until God decides to forgive him for his sins. He repents every day. He has prayed until his knees are bloody, and still, it is never enough. 

Foggy continues, as if that one display of his never-ending devotion to his best friend wasn’t enough, “If this Olivia chick makes you happy, I think it’s worth pursuing. What’s the worst that could happen?”

Off the top of his head, there are several scenarios Matt has played with, and none of them have a happy ending. There are a lot of bad things that could happen, each worse than the other. But he can’t tell Foggy that. To him, Matt’s disdain toward being happy stems from a desperate need to self-sabotage because of his childhood trauma, and while that is true for the most part, he doesn’t know about the dangers of the second life he’s leading.

He indeed sabotages himself because it’s all he’s ever known, but there is a lot more that Foggy doesn’t know about. Matt has to protect him from the truth. He’s one of the few people Matt can’t stand the thought of losing. If Foggy knows, Karen will know, too, and that is not bound to end well for any of them. 

His phone rings with the name of an unknown number later that night, long after Matt has returned home. He just laced up his boots when the silence in his apartment suddenly gets disturbed by his ringtone. 

“Unknown number,” the automatic voice tells him. 

Adjusting the tight black shirt that has seen better days, Matt walks over to the dining table to grab his phone. His fingertips search along the tabletop for the device. When he’s finally found it, he taps the screen twice before lifting it to his ear. 

“Yeah, this is Matt,” he answers. 

It takes him not even a second to realize who’s on the other end. Something about the way you breathe when you’re nervous strikes him every time. He can hear the faint sound of your heartbeat on the other end of the line. His eyes widen, and he drops the leather gloves he was about to put on.

“Hi,” you finally say. “It’s… it’s Liv. Olivia. From the hospital? You, uh, gave me your number earlier for the, uh, second time. I don’t know if you remember. I’m the girl who got hit in the nose.”

You’re cute when you’re nervous, he notices. He can tell that you probably don’t do this often, calling strangers who have given you their number. There is something oddly endearing about how awkwardly you act around people who aren’t your patients, but behavior like that often derives from a much darker secret. Matt knows all about that. For him, it was the day he lost his sight, his father’s death, and Stick’s relentless conditioning before he left him behind, and then years of self-loathing and wondering, “What if?”. What it has been for you, he can’t help but wonder. 

He snaps out of it when he hears the uptick in your heartbeat. You’re anxious, and he’s been quiet for longer than he should have. He can’t stop his lips from curling into a soft smile. 

“Yeah, I–I remember,” he says, his voice slightly breathless. The things you do to him without even trying… it’s not fair.

Foggy’s words come back to his mind. You deserve to be happy. He still isn’t too sure about that, but you make him feel things he can’t remember the last time he felt them, and it’s… exciting, almost.

You let out a little sigh of relief. “Oh, thank God,” you say. 

Matt chuckles. “I wasn’t sure you’d call.”

“Yeah, me… me neither, to be honest.”

He appreciates your honesty. 

“I’m sorry for not calling the first time. And, um, sorry for today,” you say. “I don’t usually get into that much trouble in one day.”

“Not in one day, huh?” He smirks.

Your laugh reminds him of honey. You laugh, and warmth spreads through his chest, wrapping its comforting hand around his heart and squeezing as tightly as it can. 

“You’re my lawyer. Shouldn’t you advise me to plead the fifth?”

“That depends,” Matt answers, “Would your answer incriminate yourself?”

“Yes, very much so,” you say.

“Then you should plead the fifth in front of a judge, not in front of your lawyer.”

You laugh again. “I still choose to plead the fifth, counselor.”

You may be a threat to yourself, but that’s what he sparks his curiosity, and maybe a little bit of misplaced overprotectiveness. He doesn’t own you, but God, he wishes he did. Matt pushes that thought aside as quickly as it pops up. 

You got into trouble not for the sake of getting into trouble; you got into trouble because that is just who you are. It’s an admirable quality that he can’t disagree with. 

Matt chuckles, directing his unfocused gaze toward the ceiling. “Someone should teach you about the correct use of the amendments, Miss Clarke.”

“I’m well aware of my rights, sir,” your voice drops to an octave, resembling a sultry murmur.

It rolls over him like an avalanche, and the use of the honorific darkens his eyes. A fire starts to burn deep within his soul. The candle tips over, setting everything around it on fire. Matt feels on fire.

“Also,” you add, “It’s not Miss Clarke, it’s Doctor.”

You’ve got him. Hook, line, and sinker. You’ve got him trapped in a chokehold that he can’t escape from. Your foot is on his neck, but he doesn’t care. He would gladly get on his knees before you. Whatever is happening in his body, it’s the brightest inferno the universe has ever seen, and you’re holding the torch. 

Matt exhales a hot puff of air. “Sorry,” he murmurs, “Doctor.”

“That’s better.” 

“I didn’t mean to downplay your achievements.”

“I forgive you.”

“Thank you.”

A moment of silence follows. Matt realizes that he dug his nails into his palms. When he unclenches his fist, the sharp pain brings him back to reality. 

You take a deep breath. If he closes his eyes, he thinks, he might be able to feel it brush against his skin. He’s dangerously and thoroughly obsessed with you. 

He can hear the banging of metal in the background. The sound reminds him of an old, rusty locker in a locker room. You must still be at the hospital. Your hand brushes against the metal, he can hear it, and you take another breath. 

“I, uhm–” you cut yourself off. The question on your tongue seems hard to utter. 

Matt doesn’t think much. He opens his mouth, and he asks what he hopes you have been thinking about. He throws all rationality out the window, even though reality is urging him not to. “Would you like to grab some coffee with me?” he asks. 

Your breathing stutters. Instead of your hand, your back is the next part of you that brushes against the metal of your locker. “I was trying to ask you the same thing,” you say, your voice barely above a whisper. 

“I know,” he says with a smile. “So, would you?”

“Tomorrow?” you ask.

“Tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I’m free tomorrow.”

“Are you sure you shouldn’t rest your head?”

You shake your head. The softest brush of air moves against your phone’s speaker. “So far, I haven’t had any complaints about my head,” you answer.

The words go through his ears, through his enhanced hearing into his brain. They take a few seconds to process. Matt isn’t stupid, but this is a side of you not even he expected to experience. Not so soon, maybe not ever. You’re flirting with him. The way you do it is so exceptionally smart yet almost cliché in a way, but your uniqueness makes it so much more attractive.

He’s sweating, and it’s not even warm in his apartment. The blood rushes to his head. He’s drowning, but this time it isn’t because his senses are overwhelmed. He’s drowning because you’re holding his head underwater. 

Matt’s lips part in a chuckle. It’s as dark as it is flustered. “You’re a dangerously intelligent woman, Doctor Clarke,” he murmurs. 

“So I’ve heard,” you retort. 

“Well, does three work for you?”

“Two-thirty and I pick the place.”

He’s about to have a heart attack. His plans for the night momentarily move into the background. “If that’s what you want.”

“Yes, that is what I want,” you say. “I’ll, uh, see you tomorrow then?” The slight crack of your voice tells him that it isn’t leaving you cold either, and that makes him feel a little better. 

Matt nods and says, “Yeah. See you tomorrow.”

“Okay. Tomorrow.”

“Take care, Liv.”

He can hear you swallow. “I will,” you answer. “You too, Matthew.”

The way you say his name sends a shiver down his spine. “I will. Bye,” is the last thing he manages to say before the line clicks, and you disappear. 

You came into his life without warning, and you started messing with his head. Matt is aware that you’re not doing it on purpose—how could you? Still, he can’t get you out of his head, and the phone call didn’t put him out of his misery. If anything, he has fallen into the deep end with nowhere to go. And it’s your fault. 

You deserve to be happy. Sometimes, Foggy’s caring nature becomes a nuisance. He doesn’t want to hear the same statement over and over again, but it’s the only excuse he can tell himself to somehow explain what is happening to him. 

Reaching for his gloves, Matt stretches his aching fingers. The crescent moon indentations on his palms only remind him of the smooth sound of your voice. It’s like a symphony that has a constant residency in his brain. 

He wonders if he could be your muse. He made you laugh. He made you smile. He could do that every day. If he were normal, he could do it and not feel guilty. He doesn’t want to feel guilty for wanting this. Wanting you. And he doesn’t want to feel guilty for falling down the rabbit hole. It feels as if he found Wonderland in a world that also feels like a dystopian drama, but Matt doesn’t go to the movies, and he doesn’t know much about them either. He just knows that you are the closest thing to heaven that he could touch. 

And maybe, after he has figured out what is happening in his city, he can learn how to lead a somewhat normal life with someone like you by his side–and maybe then, he can achieve the happiness Foggy always claims that he deserves but denies himself time and time again. 

Matt Murdock is a masochist, after all. Self-sabotage is the only way of life he has ever known. 

He slides the gloves onto his fingers. His phone lands in the backpocket of his jeans. The billboard in front of his window projects a luminescent disarray of colors onto his skin. He can still feel the blood rushing in his cheeks. 

Going out now feels like the wrong thing to do after that phone call, but he can’t leave Hell’s Kitchen hanging. If he doesn’t go out, Claire will remain in danger, and she has already sacrificed so much for someone she barely knows. If he doesn’t go out, he’s not sure if he will ever be able to stop whatever it is that is keeping his city in shambles. 

So, he pulls the thin layer of fabric of his mask over the upper half of his face, makes his way up the stairs to the rooftop exit that connects directly to his apartment, and steps out into the night, not as Matt Murdock but the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen. 

Tag List: @shiorimakibawrites @allllium @siampie @auroraslibrary @roseallisonparker @abucketofweird @thatonegamefish @capylore @kniselle @sumo-b98 @peachstarliight @danzer8705 @kakamixo @littlehappyperson @atemydadforbreakfast @stevenknightmarc @zheezs14 @shouldbestudying41 @kiwwia-wiwwia

[karouvas]

I don’t want to go off in the tags of that no fandom post so much but your bisexual PowerPoint Gansey tags. The idea of Gansey not comprehending bisexuality during the road trip SO funny to me because it implies either A) post-Pynch, Gansey just thought Adam realized he was always gay, something that really assuages Gansey’s guilt about “stealing Blue” (he is So Insane) or B) Gansey fully thinks being bi is just an Adam Thing. Because he’s Adam Parrish! Of course he’d have a special sexuality just for him. If anyone would, it would be Adam!

for anyone wondering these were the tags: https://www.tumblr.com/lesbianbluesey/753538524458991616?source=shareI think both are Highly possible and hilarious, but I’m going to go with the former because I do enjoy leaning into the ‘Gansey’s repressed controlled republican parents reaaally messed up his worldview’ aspect of everything he has going on, and because your right this would totallly be something he takes as “I don’t have to feel guilty about stealing (‘stealing’ because like. there was a lot more going onto that but in his head) my best friends girlfriend anymore!” *head in the clouds from crazy ex girlfriend starts playing in the background*. Now I’m thinking about him potentially telling Blue about Adam and Ronan (since we never really see her learn about them so I think there are several ways that could have happened but one of them is through Gansey) and him framing it as Adam came out to me as gay and in love with Ronan, well first off I think Blue would be way more surprised about the latter part of that than the former, and she would also have a lot of different feelings about this revelation.

 First of all I think it would be the opposite of Gansey where she starts to feel More guilty re: their break up and wonders if saying he should kiss Gansey was homophobic of her (it wasn’t it was extremely funny and cool of her, imo), she also feels really bad that her first normal-ish relationship with a boy was with someone using her (which isn’t Not true for their relationship in a way, just not in the way she’s thinking of) and feels extra annoyed with Adam for the Ninos argument (which she should because he was out of line in that scene imo, even though I also love that scene because it’s hysterical to me for reasons I’ve previously addressed and I love when Bluedam are cunts especially to each other) now that she thinks he was never actually into her. But she doesn’t want to be homophobic, so I feel like Blue tries to be a bit Overly Nice to Adam after this for the rest of the school year and it really unnerves/scares him, and then Gansey on the other hand allows himself to be more overtly cunty with Adam than he ever has before during that time period which Also weirds Adam out but he puts it down to him going through a lot what with dying and all. This would actually explain some things about the dynamic shifts between trc and td3 if this happened… 

To be clear Blue is coming at this from the opposite end of background effecting world view from Gansey; unlike Gansey who doesn’t know he’s bi or that bisexuality exists Blue doesn’t know She is bi but does know bisexuality and polyamory exist because she grew up surrounded by it, in fact I’ve said it before but I think the reason Blue isn’t aware she’s bi is… well one reason is she hasn’t had many close relationships with girls her age who aren’t in her family due to not having had many friends growing up since she was largely othered/bullied and then grew an armor/self-isolated (I actually have a tentative headcanon that in addition to her being bullied for being generally different in her youth some of that bullying had a homophobic bent to it because of the way she dresses and what the psychics are associated with and it being Henrietta.. it just seems right, so I think that would be an influence also) but also more importantly, Orla would have been out as bisexual since she was in high school and Blue is a Contrarian tm and Can Not have the same sexuality as Orla. Just on principle. She did feel jealous sometimes watching Orla go on dates with boys and girls but put that down to just general she-can-kiss-people-without-fear-of-murder-lips-and-I-can’t jealousy. Also I feel like Gansey might be able to grasp bi women more than bi men because of a) unfortunate tropes around that time b) the 300 fox way women c) Possibly Helen who I think could be sapphic but whether or not she’s sapphic definitely thinks Gansey is gay, this is textually canon, and definitely wants Gansey to be covert about it won’t go into this more / putting a pin in that for now. But anyway I think both Blue and Gansey would be more likely to consider the other being bi than themselves, is the thing I was getting at there. 

Anyway! I definitely think that after being told of Adam’s gayness Blue immediately understands that Adam was in love with Gansey based on all of the first two books when thinking back, Gansey on the other hand does not even consider the possibility of Adam ever being into him (at least not consciously, possibly deep DEEP down there’s some wondering but repression + plausible deniability + not wanting to seem arrogant (because I do think there’s a gray area sometimes between Gansey being oblivious about certain social situations vs him just being very used to compartmentalizing and prioritizing the quest) keep this out of conscious thought). So I think both Blue and Gansey need an outlet to talk through some of their Adam feelings but know the other can’t do that for them, which leads to (not to self plug but! This might be a scene that comes up in my ‘Reading TRB’ fic at some point… since I am playing with some intentional parallels between Sarchengsey and Bluedansey there, or at least that’s the intention in the mess of everything I have going on there) them separately gabbing to Henry about their feelings re: their situationship break ups, the shifting group dynamics with Pynch etc. and I think their accounts of the whole mess are Very different so Henry keeps getting more confused the more he listens to them, he doesn’t even know if one of them dated Adam or neither of them or both and it’s very frustrating but also intriguing for him he just wants to know everything (and he has some additional context from his Gansey stalking which should be … an interesting comparison point). 

Also when Gansey learns what bisexuality he immediately goes ‘I realized something about Adam!’ Henry, simultaneously expecting this and also wary: what about him? Gansey: He only told me that he loved Ronan he didn’t tell me he never liked Blue, Adam must be bisexual that means he must have been in love with Blue because who wouldn’t be that means I’m a horrible awful person and don’t deserve to live 😭😭 Henry, under his breath: goddamnit I can’t believe I’ve been trying to fuck you Gansey: what?? Henry: __ 

this was a fun thank you!

tagging a couple other blogs who I hope will enjoy my insane spiral, at least a lil: @immaterial-pearl @crimeronan

[xxxdreamscapexxx]

I don’t want to hear thoughts... Unless they’re yours

Chapter 7: Forbidden longing Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader Word count: 4.2k Warning: NSFW, 18+ just in case, angst, dark thoughts, depressive thoughts, Wanda using her magic in a questionable way, Mommy!Kink, Summary: Wanda wanted to live the normal life she was never afforded, but something was always missing. Something she denied herself and buried deep inside. But watching you move next door, she quickly realizes that this may not be possible for much longer. Especially with all the interesting things she found in your thoughts. Chapter summary: Being alone in a new town can be hard. Especially when your past comes back to remind you of all the things you’re missing out on in life. Would Wanda be able to look the other way? Would she be able to stay away from you? Part 1; Part 2; Part 3; Part 4; Part 5; Part 6; Part 7; Part 8; Part 9; Part 10 Series materlist                                     Masterlist of all my works

On a Wednesday night you sighed as you sat on your balcony, a glass of wine resting on the table in front of you. You looked down at the pool, the lights at the edges giving the water a brilliant quality to it that you could easily get lost in. It was a beautiful view. You had many reasons to be happy, including the fact that you managed to hire the last needed person on your team today. By next Monday morning, everyone would have started onboarding, relieving some of the pressure this project had been putting on you, but you were feeling down. The days blurred together on weekdays and they dragged torturously slowly on weekends and you couldn’t find your balance. You needed an escape, a way to recharge in some way, but the one person who offered you respite, you had to cancel on, and now you didn’t have the courage to speak to her again, asking for some company, even when you needed it. Especially after the way you couldn’t tear your eyes away from her body every time she wasn’t looking. You couldn’t deny the woman her beauty and the allure of her maturity was obvious, which only made you shy away from her more. But this wasn’t the only thing weighing you down. You knew the source of your current frustration. You looked at your phone for a brief moment again, the image on the screen daunting. Your eyes lingered on the face of a blond woman, smiling at the camera. She looked happy. Really happy. God, why did that make you feel so dispirited? She hasn’t been in your life for years now. Perhaps it was her, that made you scared of thinking of Wanda, you thought distractedly. That blond woman, who had a cute girl on her arm, the two of them taking a selfie to the background of a sandy beach, she was your first girlfriend, your first ever love, the first woman to claim your heart and body. And she had destroyed you. You knew her since you were little. She was a friend of your mother’s and always so amazingly beautiful. Her glacier, icy blue eyes often seemed as cold as her demeaner, but you knew the woman had a soft side, she often kept hidden. To everyone else, she was one of the most influential, respected business women in your town, but when she was with you, her voice grew soft and sweet, her lips forming into a kind smile that very few knew, her touch so gentle, it almost felt like she was afraid you’d break. That soft side is actually what you fell in love with. You were awfully young, but that attraction stayed with you and during the summer after you turned 18, she finally admitted she knew of your feelings. You tried to deny it, of course, your heart hammering in your chest and your cheeks turning pink at the mention of it. You weren’t sure what you expected, but hearing her say that she shared in your feelings certainly wasn’t it. Yet, she told you she’d give you her heart. That you had it already and she’d do everything in her power to convince you that she was worthy of your affection. Her words and the sincerity behind them had your heart leaping. You wanted her love desperately, so you hid your relationship from your mother, knowing she would be against it. You spent afternoons after school sneaking though town, so you could meet her and your summer “interning” for her, having the time of your life. She knew how to lead, knew how to take control almost effortlessly and you were so happy to give in, so happy to let her take charge and guide you. She took her time to build your confidence and trust in her, took it so slow and steady, until you were ready. Eventually she became your first and you were thrilled to experience love and intimacy with her for the first time. You were happy with her, happy to be hers. And she was happy too. Having a pretty girl on her arm, one that looked at her with so much love and adoration, with so much affection, was all she wanted. When she asked you to take a gap year, between high school and college, so the two of you could spend more time together, you happily agreed, letting her make the decisions and choices you weren’t ready to face. She gave you a more permanent position with her, allowing you to save some money for college, while spending each day with her. She took you to so many of her “business trips”, which were no more than excuses, so she could take you on vacations and spoil you. It all looked wonderful on your resume too, so despite your mother’s very vocal disagreement of your choice, she let you go ahead with it… Now, years later, she told you, it was because she knew of your relationship. Disagreed with it wholeheartedly, and even almost threatened your now ex-girlfriend, but wanted you to be happy. And you were. You would have been happy to be with her for the rest of your life. But the things you loved about her and made you happy, were the same things she grew to dislike about you. In her eyes you were indecisive and rarely took initiative, always relied on her to help you and she was growing frustrated. After a couple of years into the relationship, she kept telling you that you’re a grown up, that you should be able to do things on your own, to deal with life on your own. You were so co-dependant and it was suffocating her. It was almost time for you to go to college and you kept asking her opinion for every decision, kept begging her to accompany you for every small thing, her presence providing calmness and reassurance, that you didn’t know how to function without. If only you knew how to tell her that. How to make her understand. One day, when you needed to go and shop for all your textbooks and supplies, you asked her to join you and she snapped. God, she looked so furious. For the first time since you’ve known her, she was as cold to you, as she was with everyone else, her voice a growl as she told you that you were such a useless little thing, incapable of doing even the smallest of things on your own. Your co-dependency was too much for her. She told you how sick she was of having to decide everything for you. Sick of carrying you through life, sick of seeing that pleading look in your eyes, waiting for her to save you. That day she broke up with you and broke your heart in the process too. The things she said echoed in your head for months. They fed your darkest fears, heightened your insecurity, until you couldn’t recognize yourself. You couldn’t pick yourself up from the floor, spending the remainder of your free weeks before college trying to grow the confidence to even attend. It was the worst pain you’ve ever known.   Eventually you thought of it as a lesson you had to learn. No one would want you the way you were with her. She told you that. And you believed it. You fought social anxiety and insecurity, trying to be independent and strong, trying to never be the way you allowed yourself to be with her. You were raised to be strong, your mother always reminded you, you were meant to lead, to be in control, to be powerful. And you were often told you’re good at it. People trusted you, you had a highly developed sense for justice and you cared about people. Yet, that was never what you wanted. You always felt safest under the blanket of another’s authority. Your next relationships were very different, but never worked out. You were never really yourself with those women and in return, they grew distant and eventually you broke up. At this point you thought that having a relationship that made you happy was impossible. No woman would care for your true self, would she? Your first girlfriend was the most patient of them all and even she had trouble to sometimes accept you and especially your kinks. She always hated it when you called her ‘’Mommy’’. You didn’t mean to, in fact it just slipped out sometimes, but it never failed to turn her off. She tried for you, of course, talked it through with you, but she always had a distaste for it, so you learned to keep it to yourself, never letting it slip out with other partners. No matter how much your other exes asked you about your fantasies or kinks, you never shared that one. You were sure that you would never meet a woman who would accept you, let alone share your preferences, choosing to forever keep them buried. And to keep them that way, you avoided the type of women, who actually attracted you most, knowing that sooner or later you’d slip… Perhaps that’s why you avoided Wanda? But she was kind, sweet, caring, she was always so gentle with you, yet assertive and strong, confident in herself and what she wanted. God, she was perfect! She was everything you ever imagined in a partner. Although that thought was absurd. You didn’t even know her… Truth be told, you shouldn’t even think of her. If you let yourself imagine what it would be like to be with her, you knew you’d fall for her so desperately. And she would snap your heart like a twig. Yes, thoughts of Wanda were a dangerous thing. So, you did your best to ignore any idea of her that would pop into your head. Keeping your distance would be in everyone’s best interest. Especially yours. In the long run, it was much kinder to your heart. Somehow that saddened you more and you gulped down the glass of wine in front of you, pouring yourself another. You were in a self-pitying mood and you allowed yourself to look at the picture of your ex and her new girlfriend and how happy they looked together, a lump in your throat. God, when would it be your turn to be this happy? To find the person, who would look at you with so much love in their eyes? Why was it, that you had to look at the happiness of others, never being allowed to taste it yourself? Was there truly no one out there for you? What was it about you that pushed people away? Were you not pretty enough? Not smart enough? Or were you simply unlovable? You often thought so. And the prospect of walking through life alone had you feeling disheartened quite often throughout the years. You’d smile for the world, observing it quietly, pretending to be content. And when you’d get home you’d cry for hours and hours, wanting to scream so hard your throat would go sore. But you’d take another sleeping pill instead and you’d sink into nothingness. It could be worse, you used to think… But nothing was worse than what you felt inside. It’s a good thing you found help when you did, you thought bitterly. Therapy helped you pull yourself out of the darkness and to start living in the light. But there were always days like this from time to time. Just as you thought of that, a movement inside the Maximoff’s house, a sudden shift, followed by the lights in the entire house going out attracted your attention. You could have sworn you saw the lights on both floors go out at once, but you could see nothing suspicious or out of the ordinary, so you shrugged, your eyes moving back to the pool with its brilliant blue water, entirely unaware of being watched by a pair of green eyes.                                               *             *             * After she came home from that disaster of a date, Wanda spent the whole night thinking. Her thoughts spiralled for hours, her heart protesting the thought that she should just pull away from you. She certainly didn’t want to. But could she keep this a friendship? After everything she saw, everything she did? After sharing so much intimacy with you, could she go back? Of course, she could, she decided. It meant a lot to her, yes, and God, she wanted to take everything else, but nothing was set in stone. You never had to know about Wanda’s transgressions.   But she knew… She knew about all those wonderful things inside your head and as she watched your movements from a distance, her mind closed to the outside world and to your thoughts, and she felt deprived. It was almost like withdrawal. Just like right now… She could see you there, on your balcony, sulking… And she wanted to know what you were thinking about. She wanted to know what made you seem so sad. But she couldn’t allow herself to probe, not if she wanted to stay away from you. Annoyed, as much at the situation, as she was at herself, she huffed, red magic erupting from her fingers and taking out the lights in her house. You were off limits. A place where she shouldn’t wander. If only she had seen the dark thoughts that swirled in your head, the pain that you felt as you sat there, perhaps things would be different. Perhaps she’d know just how much you longed to reach out to her, longed to text her and ask for a moment of her company. But such a thing was not meant to be. Despite the proximity, the two of you were worlds apart, each one engulfed by her own doubts and fears. You, so oblivious and blind and completely consumed by the fear of rejection that resided in your heart, and Wanda, who could see you so clearly, but couldn’t bring herself to take another chance with her barely salvaged heart. As Wanda walked up her stairs, her feet silent in the darkness, she felt a sudden sense of anger. It was the quiet, deeply unnerving kind, the kind that crawled up your skin and made your body suddenly heat up, but just wouldn’t boil over. It was the kind of anger that lingered. It stayed with her while she undressed herself, throwing on only a t-shirt, instead of her pajamas, it messed with her while she brushed her teeth, while she sat up in her bed and watched you through her window… You looked so sad. You looked so fucking beautiful in your sadness too and it made her want to blast the walls of this house with her magic, just so she could be closer to you. She wanted to know what caused your sadness and she wanted to find a way to make it better. Resentful of her own reservations, her own rules that restricted her, she huffed, closing her eyes and trying to push the thought of you out of her head and find some comfort in sleep. But sleep never came. And every time she opened her eyes, she was met with the same sight. The same out worldly beauty, the same terrible sadness written all over it. And she couldn’t stand it. Why did you have to be so beautiful? Why did that look in your eyes have to affect her so much. Wanda watched you for another 5 minutes, her eyes unblinking and her thoughts surprisingly empty, before she decided that she couldn’t stand this anymore. Rules be damned. She wanted to take care of you. She wanted to be good to you tonight. Wanda’s astral body levitated out of her physical one with surprising ease, despite the fact that she hadn’t projected in years. Some things just couldn’t be unlearned over time and magic came way too easy to her now, so perhaps she shouldn’t have been surprised. She walked in front of the mirror in her bedroom and her head tilted as she examined her reflection. Yes, some things never changed. Those scars, gained in magical battle might have disappeared from her skin, but she could see them clearly here. Her red eyes glowed in the darkness, her skin covered in angry, jagged lines, the blackened fingers, that twitched with unused magic, the tattered crown over her head and the suit that she hasn’t worn since mount Wundagore... All those things from her past. She was a true horror, even in her own eyes. How could she ever ask a girl like you to love a monster like the one she so clearly was? But she wasn’t going to ask you to love her. In fact, you wouldn’t even see her. You had no magical abilities, she checked soon after you moved in. So she had nothing to worry about tonight. With a final glance that lingered on her face, Wanda flew out of her house and hovered over your balcony, examining you up close. You were almost in a stupor and Wanda’s astral form flew closer, landing near you and taking the last few steps to you. “Poor, sweet girl. You look so tired.” She said with a note of melancholy understanding, knowing you wouldn’t be able to hear her. The dark circles under your eyes gave you a grave expression that didn’t sit right with her, that didn’t even seem to fit in the image she had of you and the way your body sagged looked so unnatural, like you were a misshapen doll, that it made Wanda shudder. Only your eyes gave away that there was still a spark of life in you, a tornado of feelings and emotions that scrambled your thoughts. As if to show her you’re alive, your hand moved, blindly taking the glass of wine and dawning the remainder if its content, the sharp taste making you shiver as you swallowed it. In a gesture of gentle compassion, Wanda reached out, her fingers stroking your hair softly. “That’s not good for you, darling girl.” She said with a tenderness that looked almost macabre, considering you couldn’t see or feel her. To her surprise, you put the glass down, pushing it away with an apathetic gesture and Wanda crouched down in front of you, eyes studying you with a curious expression. She wondered for a moment if perhaps you had sensed her, but nothing actually gave that away. Your eyes looked unseeingly through her and into the blue water of the pool. But perhaps on some level you could feel her, she hoped, standing up straight again and moving to your side, her forehead touching your temple softly as she breathed you in, while one of her hands circled your shoulders and embraced you gently. Her blackened fingers looked so grotesque next to your unblemished skin, but she couldn’t help herself basking in your proximity, in your presence, in your smell, in your warmth. Despite what she might have looked like, she only wanted to get a moment of gentleness from you. She wanted to hug you, to lay your head on her chest and stroke your hair, a gesture she knew would soothe both of you. God, she probably looked deranged right now, but as soon as your body tilted to the side, as if to lean more against her, Wanda lost all ability to care. Some part of you did sense her, she thought, a surge of excitement passing through her body. She wondered just how much she would be able to influence you in this state. You were obviously more susceptible to suggestion in your tired drunkenness, but she was only in her astral form, her own capabilities limited. And she didn’t really want to manipulate you in any sinister way, just to get you to bed, so you could rest a little. You still had work in the morning and it was already so terribly late… “Sweetheart, do you think you can go to bed for me?” She asked softly, still holding you. It was an empty feeling, her astral form incapable of feeling the way she did, but it was better than nothing. With a soft, affectionate smile, she felt you yawn, your arm making the instinctive motion of covering your mouth, but coming up a few seconds late. “Yes, that’s right. You’re feeling very sleepy right now and you want to go to bed.” She whispered, detaching herself from you. She watched you try to stifle another yawn, but it didn’t quite work. You seemed almost ready to fall asleep right on the chair. It was downright cute, the way you tried to snuggle into the chair for comfort. But Wanda couldn’t let you sleep here. “Your bed would be much more, comfortable, darling.” She whispered in your ear, feeling elated. She felt free. To speak as she wished, to say the things she wanted to say, without fear, without restrictions, without limit. In the cover of darkness, in a state, where the whole universe was her witness, yet no human around would ever hear her, she could say out loud the things she kept hidden. Your body refused to move, your eyes opening and closing in uneven intervals as she watched you. Poor baby was so tired. She would have picked you up and carried you if she could, but she only had her voice to use, so she tried again. “Go on, baby. Go to bed. You’re not supposed to stay here.” She said again, stroking your hair. God, it felt so good to be able to say this out loud. To show you the affection you deserved. Perhaps in her freedom, she could use the words she had never spoken out loud… “Come on, darling, Mommy will cuddle you to sleep if you go to your bed.” She suggested, feeling a shiver pass through her at how good it felt to say those words, already feeling the rush of excitement at the thought of having you in her arms. She could talk to you like this for hours. At this, you stirred, straightening in your chair and trying to keep your eyes open and Wanda smirked. Such a sweet, pliable girl… “Let’s get you into bed.” Wanda smiled, repeating her instructions, until you finally stood with a tired sigh and another stifled yawn. “Such a good girl.” The witch praised you, following your steps into the house and its master bedroom.   The space was dark, but you couldn’t be bothered by the lights, not wanting to irritate your eyes, instead standing in front of the bed and reaching to undress yourself. “No, don’t undress, baby. Mommy won’t be able to stop herself if you take your clothes off.’’ Wanda rushed to stop you. It’s not that she didn’t want to see you, the temptation to let you strip yourself down and expose all your beauty almost too great for her to resist. But she didn’t want to take advantage of you like that. “Just lie down, now darling.” She instructed in a gentle voice, coaxing you to lie down. She watched you take a deep breath, before you reached behind your back, unclasping your bra and taking it off your shoulders and from underneath your clothes, throwing in carelessly on the nearby armchair, before you climbed into bed, not even bothering with the covers. It was such a warm night anyway. You pulled down one of the many pillows at the top of the bed and hugged it, your body needing the feeling of proximity and Wanda’s eyes swelled with tears. God, she couldn’t even remember how many nights she had fallen asleep in just the same way. True to her words, she climbed into bed, facing you and she draped one of her arms over your body. “Sleep now, little angel, Mommy’s here.” She whispered softly. She watched you fall asleep in mere seconds, clearly exhausted, and she watched the features in your face grow softer and more content, once you had drifted. You were still so gorgeous, so precious, cuddled up into bed. She could stay and watch you like this all night. She certainly wanted to. She wanted to let her physical body sleep in her bed, while she stayed here with you, watching you, soothing you, admiring you… But she couldn’t do that… She was meant to keep herself away from you, not learn a new way to be close to you. Staying would only tempt her further. Bargaining with herself, feeling reluctant to leave your side, she spent another half an hour next to you, her hand stroking your cheek affectionately as she watched you sleep, but eventually, she left. Her astral form returned back into her body as if slammed by invisible force, leaving her breathless and full of half-felt emotions. Wanda felt so unfulfilled, knowing you were so close to her, sweetly curled around a pillow and sleeping peacefully. Leaving your side truly left a bitter aftertaste in her. She had gotten a glimpse of being so close to you, of being so utterly herself and now she wanted so much more. She wanted to throw away all her restraint and just fly back to you, where she felt whole, felt a sense of serenity that’s been missing in her. As her eyes snapped open, she groaned. Giving you up, would be much harder than she anticipated. ______________________________________________________ As always, I’d love to know what you guys think about the chapter and the story in general.  Disclaimer: Gif is not mine. I’d be happy to give credit if I knew who made it...

[phantomenby]

Newbies choice

babyloutattoo89

Can I request a Poly!Lost Boys where the boys realize the reader is their mate and trying to gain their attention hoping the reader would pick them first? If that makes any sense?

Yes! Sorry this is so late, its a little longer than I was expecting it to be but I hope you like it :)

Paul sniffed the air mid ride, hair still billowing behind him as he slowed down, leaving his brothers to pass by as he tilted his bike towards the front of a backway he hadn’t seen in a while.

Something had caught his nose. 

A scent he hasn’t smelt before, and trust me this man had sniffed around Santa Carla from one end to the other, even in the places Max had attempted to prohibit them from entering in the past.

But this was new new. 

And as though the scent was made of magic he had begun turning, twisting the bike with him until he was heading down the passage and leaving his packmates to watch on in confusion before turning back to match his route. 

“Where you goin’ Paulie?!” Markos voice fought to reach over the loud echo of their engines through the route Paul was taking them down, the curl-haired blonde barely able see through the thick smog their bikes were racking up from the speed.

Paul ignored him, ears zoned out as his nose sent him in the right direction, nothing mattered more to him right now than finding that intoxicating smell.

–

A mere two miles away was the source of said smell.

The source of said smell was also in the middle of chowing down on some chili fries, with no thoughts in their head beyond the delicious - and albeit slightly overpriced - meal they had treated themself to after a solid seven hour work day with no break to eat.

“Wow, I’ve never seen someone eat that with just their hands before”

You paused your feast to glower at the attendant, who was also unfortunately your best friend, accepting the bundle of tissues she was holding out to you in moderate disgust.

“Thanks ‘chelle,” you mumbled between wiping the sides of your mouth, tossing away the tissues and turning to face her, there were no other customers at this time of night which made “decompressing” with Chelle so much easier, “you know, its your lovely southern charm that attracts people to you, the way you say words with such unyielding bluntness really shows off what a delight you are under all that hairspray.”

Michelle beamed at you, refusing to accept the sarcasm in your tone, it was loving enough anyway in her eyes.

“Speaking of-” her ears picked up the sound of approaching bikes before yours did, her wide eyes looking over you as her fingers tapped with excitement, “wonder who its gonna be tonight.”

The bikers were normally pretty okay by Santa Carla standards, as apposed to the groups that lived on the beach and acted all uppity.

No. The bikers were nice, at least from what Michelle had told you, in all your time in Santa Carla you had avoided the tourist heavy areas at night. You see Santa Carla was burdened with a “missing person” problem and it had led to your parents being too scared to let you out of the house after dark, even now being well into your thirties and you hadn’t told them that you happily went out into the night as and when you liked.

Your eyes never left your friend even as she kept sneaking glances towards the group who were slowing down behind you, their thunder dwindling as they curled round to the small corner of the lot Michelle’s food stand was situated.

“Hey do you think your boss will let you take a week off?” Chelle only hummed in response, leaning forward to rest her chin on the counter, eyes twinkling the same way they did when she took you to a dessert bar last weekend, “we could go up north a bit and-”

You snapped your fingers in front of her when her eyes moved completely away from you, “ ‘chell- Michell!” 

She jumped, grabbing your fingers, “hush for a minute.”

You watched with a pout as she walked away to the cash register where one of the bikers was waiting, his dozy blue eyes holding your gaze as long as he could before Michelle got sick of him and raised her voice to get his attention.

Glancing behind him you could see three others heading towards him, assuming it was the other bikers who had been riding with him you didn’t think much of it. Not until one of them walked past where Michelle was stood to stand infront of you.

“Hey.”

Wow, real interesting. You rolled your eyes, sending a look to Michelle, a subtle plea for help. Her smile only grew bigger as she watched out of the corner of her eye.

“You seem new, are you new?” He tried again.

He was hot, you’d give him that. And his voice, lord, there was no saving you.

After a solid minute of Dwayne staring at you with no response, David finally came to his aid.

“Well if you’re not new are you old?”

You scowled at that, looking up into another pair of alluring blue eyes, “so what if I am? We all get old someday, and technically everyones old to someone, so, yeah.”

Your voice drew quieter by the end, cheeks burning as awkward air settled in your throat. 

“Well you are certainly new to us,” Davids eyes grew darker as he took you in, your scent was truly something but it did nothing to explain just how exquisite you were in person, even standing this close to you was testing his control, “I’m David, and this is Dwayne.”

David. Dwayne. 

You’d never heard of them before, the bikers round here didn’t usually go by their own names, there were the cobras, the mountain riders and the lost boys. And the only ones you sorta knew were the mountain riders, and that was because their shop was right by your work.

“Cool, great names,” You fought to keep your cool, arms crossing in front of you comfortingly. David motioned his hand towards you, a silent question, “oh me- I’m Nik.”

David nodded, hearing the rest of his pack come up behind them. “And here are the rest of us, Paul,” he pointed to the man who had stared at you from the beginning, “and Marko,” then to the other blonde, the one with short curly hair who twinkled his fingers at you.

They were cute, all of them.

“Hi, I’m Nikki, or Nik I don’t mind.”

Michelle who had been watching between preparing their food took a free moment, coming over to where the five of you stood with a rather unnerving smile, “you know, Nikki’s free all night, you know, if you felt like dragging them out a bit.”

David caught you before you could stop her, turning to your friend with an equally evil grin, though his made your skin crawl a little. “Well if you insist, why dont we take them out, give them a ride?”

Pauls eyes shone brighter at the notion, taking the chance to offer his hand in invitation, “I ride best, much better than these clowns.”

This was it. This is how you die. 

When you raised your hands to say no Paul merely took one in his own, taking it as your acceptance of his proposition. Meanwhile you could only think of how your parents fears of the darkness was completely valid, hopefully when they had to make missing posters for you they’d use a photo less than three years old.

Marko threw an arm over your shoulders as Paul walked you to their bikes, his cool palm squeezing your shoulder, “oh this’ll be fun doll, Paul knows all the shortcuts.”

“Shortcuts? Shortcuts to what?” Shortcuts?! Shortcuts indicates a destination. You turned your head, barely able to see Michelle from how far from how poorly lit this area of the lot was, but you were sure if you saw her she would have that usual smug look on her face.

There was nothing you could do now, it was four versus one and you barely remembered anything from the self defence classes you took in college, or any of the tips your parents tried to pass on.

Paul walked you to the middle of the row, presenting his bike to you proudly and climbing on so you could get behind him. When your arms wrapped around his middle you felt him tense, worried you had squeezed too tight you let go a little only for Paul to place a hand over your own and pull it back.

David turned to face you, his eyes glowing far too bright to be natural, “you ready sugar?”

-

They had been riding around for much longer than you liked, and you had learnt pretty quickly that Paul was one of the worst of them all. And more than once you had stared longingly at Dwaynes bike as you saw him doing his best to avoid the dips in the dirt roads they had headed down.

Currently you were heading through a small patch of forest that sat along the coastline, the further you went the stronger your anxiety grew, you had barely been to this part of town during the day and you were sure you wouldn’t be able to find your way home when it was this dark.

Paul pulled to a stop at a lower part of the cliffs right by an old staircase that looked one bad storm away from toppling over, his bike kicking up all of the sand that had been carried up by strong winds that made you shiver as they blew past you.

Watching this David saw it as a chance to woo you a little, so he slid off his long trenchcoat leaving him in just a jacket and sweater so he could place it over your shoulders. “Come on, we’ll show you the best place in town, wont we boys?”

Marko and Dwayne whooped at his words, walking ahead as Paul sulked behind as David wrapped an arm around you, seeing you in no position to complain as the coat warmed you up.

They brought you down to their nest, to you it seemed more like a deathtrap but for them it was a safety net that protected them best in this world. Even their old sire Max couldn’t track them when they went far enough into the cave system.

David kept a hold of you until you were safely in the main cave, leaving you in his trench coat as he moved away to sit in his chair.

You didn’t miss Daivid’s hand brushing across your side as he left you, his eyes meeting your own with a warm look before he settled into an old armchair that was set beside an old fountain. The more you looked the more you realised that this looked less like a cave and more like some ruins from before the war, even the posters that were scattered across different parts of the cave were at least thirty years old. Maybe someone lived here before…

Marko saw his chance and took it, taking a seat on one of the couches and offering it to you. When he noticed your hesitation he gave your mind a small nudge, sending David a smug look when you came to sit beside him.

David didn’t care, he could work your mind better than anyone, and since you still had his coat on he knew Marko was struggling to smell you through him.

“So you’re new, but not new?” Marko toyed with your hair, purring at the smell of blood rushing to your cheeks.

You shook your head, “not new, in any way, I’ve been here awhile.”

He frowned, “awhile?”

“Mhmm, goin on over three decades now.” 

Marko froze, as did Dwayne who was coming to sit on the other side of you. If you had been here this long how had they missed you?

“So you just been in your house all this time?” Hot air brushed over your ear in a way that made you shiver, “never goin out, Santa Carla’s a night town you know.”

Yeah, you knew.

“My parents didn’t really like the busy parts of town, guess they rubbed off on me…” You shifted awkwardly as you felt four pairs of eyes burning into you with curiosity, it was hard to be someone who was both not from the suburbs who hadn’t also been to the boardwalk at least once in their life.

“Well, how about it then,” David stood, the chair creaking under his weight as he jumped up, climbing up on the fountain he began to prowl with his hands behind his back, “since you’re new to well, Santa Carla nightlife and we are connoisseurs of sorts, how about we show you round- teach you the best places to go.”

You met his eye as he stopped in front of you, “will you take me home after?”

He smiled, nodding, “yes, under one condition.”

“Yes..?” You were dreading this, next thing you know they’re asking for a spare kidney to cover the trip home and then-

“Pick who you want to go with first.”

You froze. "What?"

David's grin grew, like a wolf to a lamb he leaned forward with a sinister look in his eye, "you choose, newbies choice."

[luxxtuxx]

you’re comfortable writing it, you could have reader have adhd and that means she forgets things a lot, lots of things being necessary things like eating and putting on her glasses/ contacts, you could have her forget to eat one day and since hobie is busy he can’t check her vitals until he pays her an impromptu visit and sees that she’s super tired and sluggish and he realizes she hasn’t been eating (you could totally take this any route you want I just think it would be cute if he sets himself an alarm to check her vitals just incase)

Her Condition After Week-Long Mission

Im changing up the plot a little because I can /hj

CW: Hobie being sappy, ACCURATE Potrail of ADHD (I have ADHD, so these are sorta based on real events).

Little quip: does anyone else go to use words, but they are so often used in a sexual manner that you gotta rephrase so you don't sound nasty?

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hobie knew of Y/N's Neurodivergentcy habits and made a pact with himself to not step in unless absolutely necessary. So the longer they were together, he always knew what needed to be stocked in the house at all times, and more ways to help during sensory overload.

This punk constantly checked on them, if he had the day off and they were hyper-focused on something, he'd keep all 3 different drinks at their respective temperatures and make sure they at least snack on something throughout working.

Then Miguel called him and told him he'd be gone on a mission for a week. Hobie knew it was important, so he tried to make sure they had everything in the apartment to be okay... with a kiss he left.

Day 1: Everything was normal, they woke up early, took a quick shower, started work, and worked all night, only breaking to go to the bathroom. They were so focused on work they had forgotten to eat something, and the light tinge from not eating they wrote off as 'Just missing Hobie"

Day 2: They felt a bit more drowsy than normal, but they made some eggs, ate half, and got distracted by the mountain of dishes, the dishes reminded them of the laundry, and doing the laundry reminded them to shower. And so by the time they remembered to sit down and work it was about....11:54pm Day 3: They had slept at their desk on accident so now, they were tired, in pain, and stressed because the boss moved the project date sooner. they only moved to go to the coffee pot and bathroom all day.

Day 4: They were knocked out in bed exhausted, they knew they had to keep working but they get so stressed out thinking about it. So at 8:30pm they grabbed hobies hoodie and sat on the floor curled up having mental paralysis because of the stress,

Day 5: The burnout started the fading hope of actually getting the work done. it came to the realization that for the past 2 days, they hadn't really eaten much.... sure they had snacked on some loose snacks and had a bunch of coffee, but no real full meals. They tried to shower to help calm the cricks in their back and how ill they were feeling

Day 6: They were back at work again pushing through, ignoring the stomach pain, and the headache. They had woken up and just felt like they were on the verge of a breakdown. Everything was too much right now, they just wanted their comfort human, comfort blanket, and comfort food all in the same place. They were so overloaded sensory wise, they couldn't speak on the company Zoom calls, they were using the chat, and even that felt like too much

Day 7: It was the day hobie came home... it was the day they had off from work. They drifted around like a zombie. They managed to eat a bowl of cereal in between waking up and taking a nap. After that nap, they just sat on the bed completely zoned out... after what felt like maybe 5 minutes, the clouds were gray and hobie was stepping through his portal.

When hobie saw they zoned out, all the coffee mugs towering on the desk and how pale they were. he knew immediately what happened. He quickly got out of all his spider gear, and he made sure to be careful as he moved them to lie down. He kissed their forehead... "Oh, my angel of music... it's okay, just rest. Tomorrow and Tuesday call in sick and I won't take any mission and we can just spend the next two days getting back into our routine, does that sound good?"

They meekly nod as they finally put themselves under the covers of the bed. "Im sorry, it was so much, the boss moved the project date up sooner. I really tried hobie. I mean it I really tried" they sniffle. hobie hugged them tightly and nods "I know angel, and I'm proud you tried, now rest."

BONUS: The next day in the evening

"Hobie..... thank you for everything," Y/N said cuddled into his chest, wrapped in their favorite blanket, eating their comfort food, watching their comfort movie. Hobie just hums "So explain to me again why you like this movie so much??"

[dragonsdendoodles]

Hey, don't know if you did that yet but do you have any hcs for our little princess Claire ?

I haven’t yet but I absolutely do, only the best for our littlest peculiar!

- I really like the idea of Claire being interested in ice skating. I talk about it a lot with Horace (because surprise surprise, the figure skater likes to shove his sport in everyone’s faces,) but the immediate next idea I get is that if Horace finds his way to an ice rink, Claire follows him and he teaches her how to skate.

- On that note, Claire and Horace being besties is just a really cute idea to me. They’re very similar when you think about it, I like to think they get along wonderfully

- Stealing this from the movie (because it’s one of the only details I like from it,) but when they’re not bickering about something I think it would be really funny to see Enoch pick her up and take her places. I’m this close to making a sticker of Enoch carrying Claire and they’re both just staring at you and judging you intensely

- She has a princess tiara like Olive does but she gets worried about ruining it so she doesn’t wear it nearly as much

- I know Museum of Wonders mentioned her backmouth can in fact speak, but I don’t think she knows that. Personally if I’m remembering the description right I think she’d be a little bit scared of it if she did honestly

- Not really a headcanon since we do kind of see it, but I think out of everyone, Claire gets sick the easiest. She’s that one kid at your elementary school that was allergic to everything and had to bring homemade cupcakes anytime someone had a birthday so she wouldn’t be left out

- On that note, I’m giving her my penicillin allergy, because I break out in hives if you give me it and through realizations about different kinds of cheese and evidently why they taste funky to me I can’t give it to Horace so sorry Claire we can suffer together

- Other than Bronwyn, Olive, and Miss Peregrine, if she’s hanging out with someone it’s either Hugh and Fiona or Enoch and Horace. The former two she sees as Parent Friends the same way Bronwyn is and the latter two she just thinks are funny

- Her hair is naturally curly, but she has Bronwyn help her make it neater.

- She’s probably the pickiest eater of the bunch, tied with Enoch. She will however steal dry spaghetti and eat it one noodle at a time

- When Fiona came back, Claire refused to let her out of her sight for multiple years. Minus Hugh, Claire is the most strongly attached to her because it’s at the very least heavily implied that Claire had to be the one to tell Hugh what happened in Miss Wren’s loop and I don’t like that she’s too little don’t do that to her

- Every year for Halloween she and Olive are princesses. Every time. They love it. Miss Peregrine is their queen.

- Her backmouth is also baby teeth, so if you let her age in the present long enough she will lose them too. She hasn’t lost any of her normal baby teeth as of living in the new loop, but she has lost two of her backmouth teeth and received appropriate tooth fairy visits.

Apologies for the lack of doodle for her, for me it’s five in the morning 😅 I’ll reblog this with a sketch when I make one though