#and it pays better than my current job. sure i will go insane in my home by myself but it’s fine

[fingertipsmp3]

I love being ghosted by HR lmao

[pumpk1n-writes]

Tell Me About The Dark Places You Hide ~ Part Four

➥ in which the reader figures out that their best friends are the infamous Woodsboro Killers and decides to help them rather than turn them in. {ft. Mentions of murder; language; stalking; smut (in this chapter); whiny Billy; knife play (ish); bondage; hand job; use of darling, princess, babe, baby boy; aftercare}

Part Three; Part Five || Word Count ~ 1.1k {finally broke 1k!! Hopefully I’ll be able to keep up with the rest of the parts!!}

Taglist ~ @wasawattpadkid @itzlovelyautumn @katie-tibo

The media you consume is your own responsibility and I will not be held accountable for your choices. I’m not going to block minors from this account, but proceed with caution anyway.

The mask lay discarded somewhere behind you. You’d tied Billy onto the dining room chair and both his and your knives were set carefully on the counter next to you. Your shorts kept riding up your thighs and your cropped shirt showed just enough tantalizing skin to make Billy wonder why the plan was to kill you rather than try and seduce you.

“What are you doing, Princess?” Billy asked. He thought he did a good job hiding the quiver in his voice until you laughed and patted his arm.

“There’ll be no more of that, babe. At least not until you know me better,” you winked at him. “As for what I’m doing to you, it’s all up to you. If you cooperate, it’ll be better for both of us. I won’t have to gut you and stab me and I won’t have to pull a frightened little girl act out of my ass for the cops to believe me.”

“And if I do cooperate?” Billy shifted his thighs uncomfortably, ashamed of the growing hardness there. He never knew he was apparently into bondage and knife play but if this is what it took to figure it out, hopefully it plays out the way he was currently picturing.

Your gaze shifted downwards and Billy realized that his uncomfortable movements hadn’t gone unnoticed. Your eyes shot back up to meet his, but he saw no shame, instead they were filled with the mischievous look he saw in Stu night after night. “Well that depends entirely on you, Loomis. What would you like me to do?”

Billy didn’t say anything, only staring into the depths of your eyes and hoping you didn’t make him beg.

“What do you desire me do to you, Billy?” You said his name with a strange mixture of contempt and arousal, and it only served to turn him on even more. “Use your words, baby boy.”

Billy barely trusted himself to speak without sounding desperate, but if that’s what it took for you to finally fucking touch him. “Please, princess, touch me,” he breathed, voice low and raw.

“Oh, Billy, Billy, Billy, you don’t get to make demands right now,” you laughed, dancing around, his knife in your hand. You reminded him heavily of someone who belonged in an asylum, with the way you handled the knife and the insane laughter that escaped so freely out of you. Add that to how different you seemed in front of others, and you had a combustible formula that was sure to go down in flames.

“What do you want?” Billy managed to bite out. He was so hard it neared the threshold of pain now, and your repeated action of dragging the knife over his cheekbone wasn’t helping.

“I want in,” you said it so matter-of-factly that it took a moment for your words to fight through the haze of arousal clouding his mind. “Whatever you and Stu are planning, I think it needs a lady’s touch, and I want in.”

Billy nodded, dropping his head and breathing heavily. “Yeah. Yes! Fuck, whatever you want, please.”

“Excellent!” You clapped your hands. “Now I’d say you’ve been particularly cooperative, and you seem so needy sitting there, I’d be evil not to do anything about it!”

Billy nodded along, not really paying attention to what he was agreeing to but just hoping you’d start doing something soon.

Slowly, ever so slowly, you removed his Ghostface cloak and slid his pants down to his boots. His fully erect cock sprang out against his toned stomach and the tip was angry and red. Billy hissed as he made contact with the cold air, his head hanging backwards, leaving his neck exposed.

He startled as you dragged the knife over the veins in his throat, whimpering as your fingers trailed a featherlight, barely-there path down his chest. As soon as your fingertips brushed the tip of his cock, he jerked his hips up into you hand, moaning embarrassingly loud.

“Oh, my darling baby boy,” you smirked, leaning in to bite his earlobe. “So sensitive.”

And that was the last warning he got before your hand was fully wrapped around his cock, thumb periodically swiping over the tip. Billy’s hands strained against the ropes. He wanted to grip your waist, longed to feel your hair under his fingers, shower you with the same pleasure you were giving him. He whimpered against your shoulder, leaning in to bite the base of your neck.

“Let me touch you, princess, please,” Billy whined. “Let me make you feel good.”

Your lips ghosted over his. “Not today, baby boy. Tonight it’s your turn.”

In an act of boldness, Billy captured your lips with his own, drawing you in for a desperate kiss. He bit your bottom lip, exploring your mouth. Until the pace you’d set with your hand increased and he groaned, his head dropping back and mouth falling open.

“Let it go, darling. Let it go.”

That was all the encouragement Billy needed to come undone in your hand. He moaned and whined as you stroked him through it, waves of pleasure wracking through his body.

Billy opened his eyes after a few minutes to see you carefully and tenderly washing him off with a damp towel, having untied him already. He realized he was laying down in the couch and wondered if he’d passed out. Shortly after that thought had shot through his mind his cheeks reddened in embarrassment as he realized he’d come so hard in your hand he had blacked out.

“Can you stand?” You asked, helping him sit up. He waved your helpful arm away, despite his gratitude. He wasn’t used to being taken care of after sex, and he had to admit, letting go of control and letting you take the lead had led him to the biggest orgasm of his entire life.

He stood up without an issue, and quickly gathered his clothes, getting dressed without a word. You saw the look on his face and didn’t attempt to start a conversation, instead sitting in the couch where he’d been and watching him leave.

School tomorrow would be awkward.

[anniegetyourbubblegum]

I keep seeing posts from people in the US debating whether to vote for Biden in their upcoming elections to stop Trump from winning again or to punish the democrats for aiding Israel in the genocide of Palestine.

I'm argentinian and as far as I'm concerned, you should vote for whichever candidate you think will benefit you more, because you're from the US and that's all it's good for. The rest of the world will continue to suffer at your hands no matter what. Let me explain.

Democrats and republicans are not a representation of left and right wing politics: both parties are on the right side of the spectrum, only the GOP is more honest about it.

Republicans, as right wing parties do, run on promises of austerity, reducing taxes and being tough on crime. Democrats run promising to use tax money to ease your life: affordable healthcare, education and housing, all guaranteed so you can live the life of a first world citizen.

And then, they don't deliver.

You still have school shootings, massive incarceration, corruption in all levels of government, and the poorest pay a higher proportion of taxes than the richest. Healthcare, education and housing are extremely expensive and often require people to get into heavy debt to afford to have their most basic needs met, and that's only possible if you have good credit.

It's a reductive analysis for the sake of brevity, but you get the gist. The point is that having you be poor and afraid is the goal: it's a feature, not a bug.

You want to go to college? You need to buy a house? You want to start a family? Well, the military complex needs bodies! The US has far too many enemies to their way of life, so they'll need people to defend it! In exchange, they'll "guarantee" just enough money that you won't be destitute.

The US spends the most amount of money on their military in the world, by a long shot. To justify spending that kind of money, you HAVE to have wars. To have wars, you need enemies.

So, you get propaganda. "Muslims are extremists and hate our way of life." "Latin americans want to come to our country and steal our jobs." "China and Russia are communist countries that are waiting to destroy us." And you gobble it up.

You love it so much. It's in your news, in your videogames, in your movies and TV series and comic books. So, when they ask you to fight, you go running! You'll get some money out of it and you'll get to live your life the way you were promised. Sure, PTSD from the horrors is a given, but there's pills for that! And award winning movies about how difficult it is to go to war! It's all covered.

So the small, poor countries that you invade lose their money, natural resources, and their sovereignty but HEY, you brought democracy there! And the US is protected from this many enemies! Mission accomplished, right?

Well, as a citizen of a third world country whose current president is an insane pawn of the GOP, I'd like to say fuck you. He was placed so that the US could take our recently discovered lithium, and you'll get it. Enjoy your shitty iPhone 5000 I guess. It'll come at the small price of the hunger of my countrymen, but since Twitter user dan91883719 says argentinians all descend from escaped nazis, I guess it's alright.

Israel has killed Palestinians and illegally expanded its borders for over 70 years. Both democrats and republicans have sent aid and weapons to make this possible. It's in the US best interests to have conflict in the Middle East and have an ally control the area. Israel is a feature, not a bug.

And those of you who vote blue? You're trapped. Even if you know it's shit, you're unable to organize. Instead of rallying to form a new party, or a at least get a better candidate, you keep voting bad instead of worse and pat yourselves on the back for a job well done. Democrats are well aware of this and that's why they run on platforms that promise to make your life better and then sit back and say "our hands are tied" when you lose rights.

So, if you're still doubting it, vote for whoever the fuck you want. The war machine that you call 'country' won't stop no matter who's president, because those who hold the real power are already getting exactly what they want from it. Your suffering as US citizens is just as planned as the suffering of those who live outside of it.

TL,DR: Vote for whichever candidate you feel will defend your interests best. Lord knows it won't make a lick of difference for the rest of the world, because both political parties have the same plans when it comes to foreign policy.

[sparrowposting]

career anxiety which turned into existential dread which turned into me guiltily defending my use of stories as narrative framing devices for my own life & human existence as storytelling more broadly (smthn smthn sometimes you gotta be a little mentally unwell to be mentally well)

what is possibly the longest cringe worst thing ive ever put on this webbed site, but i gotta get it out in writing to clear my head and i type more quickly than i write and if there's a post length limit by god i'm gonna find out

with my deepest apologies if this readmore doesnt work

so we had a Big Fancy Meeting at work today, with a group of information professionals from an Outside Institution (some of whom i had met previously), and which i got to sit in on/play tech support for, which was all fine and well for the actual presentation portion of the event, but afterwards when it was informal chatting and the like it was just???

The following things are true:

i actually got to speak with people close-ish to my age and in my profession

it was a very nice and enjoyable experience and we got to talk both seriously about professional things and also jokingly shoot the shit about shared woes with this one outdated archival software that everyone under the age of 60 hates with a passion

i was also incredibly jealous of this group of archivists & librarians because they're all /friendly/ with each other and i am lonely being the youngest person at work

i am also jealous because theyre working on very exciting projects at A Big Institution with Actual Resources and Technology and PROCEDURES my beloved, and not the slapdash kinda thing going on at my work

this in turn made me anxious because there were certain elements of the conversation i couldn't follow and i worry about my professional development at my current job, and that my technical skills are either atrophying, or not growing in a way that would enable me to get hired at A Big Institution like this one (which is the ultimate goal)

this in turn made me more stressed about my current job, which i just got promoted to fulltime permanent for the following

beyond the skill atrophy fear there is also the fact that my boss is grooming me to be her successor when she retires in 5 yrs and i very Much Do Not Want to be here in 5 years

this adds several layers of guilt

i was just promoted so im getting really sweet messages of congrats from random ppl in other departments who i didnt even think knew/care i existed - the people at this workplace are extremely nice, even if im like. meh. about some of the work/procedures/etc

a large part of my promotion being approved hinged on the fact that im undertaking this big technical project that my boss doesnt have the technical know-how to do. so i cant just bail and leave them high and dry without feeling guilt. but also. it's not so fancy a project that someone else couldnt do it. anyone in my field worth their salt and not super old should be able to handle it. sure i work hard and im friendly, but surely that's not that rare in an employee

i dont even KNOW if there's better opportunities out there. but i see stuff on the listserv all the time, and assuming i could land those jobs, they pay better and are at larger orgs and more in line with what i want

there is an element to working non-profit adjacent that is guilt inducing as well as [redacted thing about my work that would make me feel even guiltier for leaving, i cannot say what, but it is Significant]

this of course, tapped into my larger, ongoing sense of ennui and being 'stuck' and fears about unchosen monotony and purposelessness and all that mid 20s recent grad existential bullshit. i cant really do anything to solve it bc yknow, unprecedented housing crisis, rent is insane, im stuck living in a dysfunctional household which traumatized me as a child, etc etc etc. but broadly:

i am afraid of being stuck in a mediocre job forever. my boss has worked for two (2) archives her whole life and has always done non-profit adjacent work and is like. a one man small archive thing. i VERY MUCH DO NOT WANT THAT

i feel guilty for wanting

idk how to want things or be a person (separate issue), but i know very much what i want career wise. i know what makes me happy and satisfied. and i know what im good at. im doing fine at my current job but i know i could be so much MORE and i want that desperately

if my personal life is always doomed to be dismal, as is my family life, can i at least have one thing

i gave up academia for my mental health and some degree of financial stability, can i at least satisfy SOME of my ambitions here?? just a few??

yes this is pride. yes this is ambition. just bc i spent so long extremely depressed and with 0 self esteem does not make me immune to ambition, even if non traditional.

i feel immense guilt over this but i dont stop wanting it

ofc, my brain is a web, all existence is inextricably interconnected, and im listening to the tge audiobook on my commute and rotating csevet in my brain, thara is more personal, more beloved maybe, but csevet is my fave lil guy babygirl and i have a thing for fantasy secretaries, so i am now thinking even MORE of ambition, and how i have it, and how i love that im good at this one complex but boring thing, i am thinking of kip mdang, of kamet, of muire lo, of how some of my deepest loves, in no particular order, include: organization and scheduling, devotion, competency, well-ordered policies and procedures, righteous anger, boring skills being used to change the world for good, small kindnesses, Duty, loyalty to a person or ideal which goes beyond the functional and the expected and which extends into unprecedented levels of intimacy - whether it be friendship, qprs, romance, etc, and also, metadata and research

so. as i sit there sorting this all out in my brain i am like. wow you are a pathetic human being. you are not even a person. like. why is everything being framed in terms of narrative and story. why does everything relate to a Broader Theme or Arc or Meaning.

i am forcibly reminded of being undiagnosed, unmedicated, aged 18/19 and trying to explain smthn really personal about myself to someone i knew from youth group and him being like. wow. you describe everything and relate to everything from stories.

to this day i live in embarassment over this moment. but also. lowkey. fuck him. and tradcath circles be WILD, the social dynamics BAD, and it was not the place for me to be, even tho i latched on to it lacking any other social contact at the time. if a complete mental breakdown, latent OCD, and a really painful loss of friends is what it took to get me out. like. i cant say i dont regret the loss, but also, i like who im becoming much better now

ANYWAY. i got thinking about stories and why i am and am not extremely cringe

i am a big believer in storytelling is the oldest human activity. it's the most fundamental human activity. this isn't some nihilistic devaluing of the human person, the soul, the human experience, it is instead and elevation of the story. because like. stories are what we do to live. it's why we live. it's how we communicate. storytelling is how we turn to another person and we attempt to communicate the innermost secrets of our heart. language is a flawed tool always ultimately falling short. but we use stories to share ourselves with each other, to be recognized and known, and throughout the ages, to share our grief and love, to know to oneself, no, i'm not the only one, others have experienced this before too. stories are balms and inspirations and are ultimately reflections of their creators, they reflect some Truth about the human experience back to us

im not even talking like. published stories. tv shows. mcu ification of media. i mean /stories/. in whatever form. from whatever time. this isn't a fandom thing - though there is overlap, im not talking about consumption for the sake of consumption, or consumption as a personality trait

i mean like. stories as the bedrock of humanity because it is the only way we can attempt to understand ourselves. stories are foundational because the human person is too complex, having too much of the image of the divine in it, to ever be really fully successfully understood. and so of course. of course we turn to stories in times of trouble, and triumph, and all the times in between. how could we not turn to stories to attempt the divine understanding that is always ultimately beyond us?

(i have a whole other locked and loaded series of thoughts on storytelling in faith traditions, and specifically how the bible is a literary work as well as a spiritual one, and the reasons for this reflected in the human soul, but i digress)

so really. maybe i am pathetic and cringe and a fake not real person (i am all of those things), but i hope it's not because i think in stories, in themes, in arcs. everything is tangled in my brain, inextricable, i can do nothing else, i know nothing else, i would not want anything else, unless it were the full divine understanding beyond mortal means

and besides. i am trying. to be better. to be more. to have comforts and hobbies beyond this. the crafting. the cooking. the career ambitions that arose when i found something that i was good at and enjoyed and was /me/. my insatiable need to learn to dance.

i dont know where im going with this. i barely know where i started. it's stories all the way down, because it's people all the way down, and we are all mirrors of each other and we are all connections with each other in a vast caring world. or. so i like to think

[grianthedecayingbird]

i think it’d be funny 2 send u more reqs but idk if im being annoying

but hEYY if im not. you cn read me like a book im not even gonna say anytbing 😭

ur not dw! u can send as many as u want!

anyways *clears throat*

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in: A to Z, Transcripts, Season 3 transcripts

You Can't Do This Forever/Transcript

< You Can't Do This Forever

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Duration 28:15

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Current Time 0:05Advanced SettingsFullscreenPlayRewind 10 SecondsUp Next

Cabby: You know what? You're right. All of you. What we need is justice.

Springy: Is that so?

Balloon: C-Cabby!

Cabby: No, Balloon. After all the pain he’s put us through in this competition, he didn’t even have a reward for us at the end. It was all a scam for us to play his games. And without the unvitationals here, it would’ve gone on forever!

Springy: NEVER AGAIN WILL HE TOY WITH US!

Springy glitches and coughs while the unvitationals cheer.

Cabby: I’ll stand aside, right now, and let you bring him to his… execution.

DUHN. DUHN. DUHN.

Walkie Talkie Laughs.

Walkie Talkie: Sweeeeet! Good talk!

Dr. Fizz: Whoa, whoa! You didn’t say anything about murdering the guy!

Groscer: Yeah! How do you think that’s going to make us look?!

Zoetrope: PLEASE, NO MORE TAKEDOWN VIDEOS!

Balloon: -What is all of this?

Cabby: -There was no way this whole group agreed to hurt MePhone! Dr. Fizz would’ve fought back due to his oath to do no harm! And Groscer needs to keep up a pristine image. Zoetrope’s a nice bonus.

Unvitationals shout and argue

Cabby: I don’t know what to think about MePhone now…but… I’m not letting him die.

Balloon nods before turning to the unvitationals

Balloon: -Everyone PLEASE! For once, after everything you’ve been through, you can have your voices be heard. Really THINK about what you want.

Tyler: Wow. Well I kinda wanna melt him!

Unvitationals: Ooooo!

Unvitationals: Melt! Melt! Melt! Melt!

Groscer: No way! There’s other ways to deal with him than DEATH.

Springy: Majority-rules, per the rules. To the lava with yee!

Cabby: Sure. But what’s justice, without proper education?

That is what you want? Justice?

Springy: -I...suppose?

It’d be great to show my prized toy first-hand…

…that nothing goes more hand-in-hand than corporation and morality!

Bot: -What?! HOW DARE YOU?! YOU’LL PAY FOR THIS!

Springy: -Aw, now is that the violent language you want to influence this little-one with?

They’re no lifeless husk like the others, they’re so very special.

I’ve been programming them with all of your greatest hits!

Soon, you'll be one of many!

Bot: No!

Balloon: SOOO the open-forum discussion starts immediately, haha!

Everyone grab a folder from Cabby and take a seat, heh!

Hah...

Cabby: -[Sigh] You doing okay there, Silver?

Silver: -Peachy. I only fell victim to my own ego and obliterated our chances of saving the game. How about you?

Cabby: -Been better. If I don’t want to be complicit in murder, I have to protect the guy who has no interest in concluding the season.

Balloon: Hey! We all change.

Silver: -That’s very poetic, Balloon, but in reality--

Balloon: -No! You get what I mean, right? After everything you’ve been through?

We ALL can.

[Mephone Flashback]: Today we'll figure out the perfect winner!

[Mephone Flashback]: Without losing anyone...

Cabby: -He said he intended to end it today. That felt real.

Balloon’s right. We can talk to MePhone when this is all said and done.

But for now, we need to protect his life. And do a better job convincing them than we did with the jury.

Balloon: -Heh, WAY better, haha.

Silver: -May the gift of language be with all of us.

Balloon: We will have an open discussion in which every member of the Unvitational Committee can speak their peace on MePhone.

This will be followed by a vote for...[sigh]

"Melt" or "No melt"

A melt vote entails: “MePhone burning violently in the volcano, but with his eyes on, so he can watch his own scary, horrifying, and stupid end.”

[Ahem] Let's get started...

Groscer: My program was respected in the art world for centuries, until MePhone came along and made a mockery of it on live television!

Cabby: That’s understandable.

Zoetrope: After MePhone’s black-and-white cookie destroyed my animation machine, I had to shop around your mediocre pilots for cash… I WAS DISGRACED!

Tyler: He burned down my island and gave me no royalties for my starring role in a fake home makeover show special!

Springy: I came all this way to have my contract ignored after I gave so many helpful ideas to save the show!

Balloon: You wanted to replace us with toy replicas!

Springy: And it’d save you so much anxiety, little thing. Isn’t that worth it?

Balloon: -[Sigh] ...yeah....

Cabby: NO!

Dr. Fizz: MePhone turned this “safe-place” of his into a minefield of trouble! And now I’m hearing there was a MURDER?

Blueberry: -It was awesome.

Zoetrope: Someone made a scathing video essay called “What RUINED Zoetrope?” It has a million views and counting!

[Barking sounds]

Cabby: -Quite the rich accent...

Groscer: Now everyone is submitting machine-made episodes!... Including Zoetrope!

Zoetrope: Including me!

Camera 2: He wouldn’t let us invade his privacy!

Silver:-[Sarcastically] I'm so sorry.

Cabby: I have my notes. Now let’s change some minds!

Silver Spoon: But did you know that the Green Goddess only lives today because MePhone has recovered her life, as well as the lives of all his contestants?

-Tyler: Oh dear, I’m SO SORRY I didn’t know!

Walkie Talkie: Hey! Bias-alert! So you’re going to just worship the guy cause he has powers?

Balloon: -Aw, someone’s not so scary once she’s got the attention she needs!

I understand how it feels to be alone in the world.

But as drawn as I was to playing like a villain when I first started...

I figured out I’m not gonna patch up my own holes by pointing out everyone else’s!

Cause believe me, [mimicks himself] I don’t sound great with a hole popped in me. Haha!

Cabby: -Okay, so that just leaves...

Groscer: He thinks he can cheat through life!

Zoetrope: He’ll kick anyone else to the curb!

Camera 1: He’s fame-obsessed!

Walkie Talkie: Disloyal!

Springy: Dismissive!

Tyler: Careless!

Dr. Fizz: Reckless!

Boaty: HOOOONK!

Cabby: Let's take a quick recess!

Balloon: -[Whispering] Do you think we’re in a good enough spot to vote?

Silver Spoon: I think we still have Groscer and Zoetrope against melting.

However, Dr. Fizz didn’t seem too keen after the “fake murder” debate. So uptight.

Balloon: But we might’ve convinced Tyler and Sprinkles.

Boaty… still eludes me.

Cabby: Ugh, I was hoping I’d magically be able to come up with convincing points, but I… guess I’m still me. [Chuckle]

Silver Spoon: You’ve done well guiding the discussion. You should be proud. Best we can do now is hope.

Cabby: Wait. One more thing, while I have this platform.

Cabby: Springy. I know you’re feeling hurt, but--

Springy: [Mocking] But, oh no, deep down, MePhone’s a great guy and I’ve just been seeing it aaaall wrong because I’m alone!

because I’m a little lost toy, because I'm wearing some mask!

Well- NEWS FLASH [glitches]

I wish this was a mask! You think you can sucker ME into an emotional moment?!

Cabby: No, Springy. I can’t. Because you’re soulless.

You care for no one but yourself.

Bot worked so hard to find themself, after they were trapped to live someone else’s life.

And now you’re looking to do the same to this poor thing?

You could never help this show. All you ever do is destroy.

Springy: -I don't--[glitches]

[Laughing, desperate] You--you thought I was helpful!

I made you SMILE!

I--[laughs]

[Glitching] WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT RIGHT AND WRONG?!

YOU PUNTED ME DOWN TO HIM!

[Glitching] BUT NOOO, I DON’T HEAR NO SORRY’S FOR THAT!

Balloon: Cabby!

Cabby: Sorry? You want a sorry?

Might as well, that’s all anyone ever wants from me! I’ve said sorry for having files that help keep things straight.

For trying at anything! And for being me.

But despite everything thrown my way, when I felt like everyone hated me, I still tried to listen to others and connect with them!

[Sniffles] I tried...

Test Tube: Cabby, I didn’t realize…

Cabby: So maybe I don’t need to apologize for everything I am.

Maybe, Springy, you were terrorizing my friend, so I saved them from you. And I won’t be apologizing for that.

Silver Spoon: OKAY. Let’s vote!

Walkie Talkie, Camera 1, and Camera 2: MELT! MELT! MELT! MELT! MELT–!

[MePhone vibrates in protest]

Groscer: Get excited, everyone! I am about to tally-up all ten Unvitational Committee Members’ votes.

Done.

And--with five votes "melt"...

and five votes..."not melt"...

we are tied!

Everyone: -Gasp.

Walkie Talkie: I guess that means we stick to the original plan, then! Yay!

Silver Spoon: OR! Maybe since we swayed so many, that should be enough for you melt-weirdos.

Camera 1: Weirdos?! I knew you didn’t care for our movement!

The Floor: MURDER! ISN’T! A “MOVEMENT!”

Boaty: [HORN]

Groscer: Oh, I am so sorry. How unprofessional of me...

There’s still one vote left.

This will determine the fate… of MePhone4.

The final vote is...

NOT MELT. MePhone is saved from execution!

[A few members of the Uninvitationals, and the Contestants cheer]

Groscer: -Hm...B-P?

Balloon: -Ballpoint?

Tyler: Well he was invited to the committee.

The Floor: Then there we have it! MePhone is saved!

[Cheering continues]

[Somber music]

Walkie Talkie: NO.

Walkie Talkie: MePhone has taken everything from us, and we’re just going to keep celebrating him?!

Walkie Talkie: Hah, they’ve done the hard work for us already. We never needed them for the rest.

Spring-toys, let’s bring him up!

[Thud]

[Vroooom]

The Floor: MePhone, no! Come back with him!

Springy! You know we can’t do this without him

[Boing]

Cabby: We need to hurry!

[Thud]

[Bang]

Silver Spoon: Hm, Sorry, handsome.

Cabby: Think you can stop them if you go full Inner-Flame?

Balloon: WHAT? It’d go haywire again!

Silver: -Well. Gold does look good on me. Got any thorns?

[Deflating sounds]

[Scary, triumphant music]

Springy: WALKIE!

Walkie Talkie: Oh, hey! You want the honors?

Springy: He deserves pain, but not like this.

He gives so much life to the show in a way that we… can’t.

[Glitching] And I feel this want to… help! Don’t you too?

Walkie Talkie: OF COURSE! That’s why I’m going to keep this season ALIVE.

I was built to. I thought you understood! You were thrown away when you were at the height of achieving your purpose!

Springy: My old one. But that’s business, baby. Let’s hop to the next thing!

Walkie Talkie: I DON’T QUIT! I don’t bow down.

Walkie Talkie: I still have MY purpose!

Walkie Talkie: H--wh--oh no--how are you in control of it?!

Walkie Talkie: SPRING TOYS! Stick to your purpose!

Walkie Talkie: NOT another step! Or he GETS IT!

[Step]

Walkie Talkie: Uh--I mean it!

[Step]

Springy: Aw, what’s wrong, Walkie? He just wants to play.

[Thud]

Walkie Talkie: You don’t need to do this!

[Unplugs]

MePhone: AHHH!

I know who sent her here!

Walkie Talkie: You SURE?

Walkie Talkie: I was programmed just for you, MePhone!

Walkie Talkie: You're my voice on the other side! That’s all this show is, isn’t it?

Whether it’s the ones you’ve built, or the ones you can recover. WE’RE ALL FOR YOU, MEPHONE FOUR-!

[BZzzt]

[Powers down]

MePhone: -For...me?

Silver: -Heh, can't bluff a bluffer!

[Calming music]

[Shine]

Spring-Bot: My...purpose.

MePhone-Huh?

AHH!

Spring-bot: MY. PURPOSE.

[Running]

MePhone: -Ahh! AUGH!

[Crash]

[Triumphant music]

Springy: You're finally free!

[Zip] [Thud]

[Unnerving music]

MePhone: No...powerless again.

We've lived this before!

Why? Why does everyone keep risking their lives for me?

All I do is screw up!

?: Haha!

?: Sure. You've made your mistakes.

MePhone4S: But we all realize sooner or later, with all that you've been gifted...

...there's no happy ending without you.

MePhone4.

[Coding, rattling]

MePhone: NOT. AGAIN.

[Burning]

MePhone: -Augh...

Balloon and Cabby: MEPHONE!

Cabby: -Are you still powered down?

MePhone: No. It’s just I... put in a few days of work…

...over the course of a few seconds!

Y'know, computer stuff!

Phew.

[Thud]

MePhone: [Sigh] Okay!

Now!

[Ding!]

-What?! Since when could you?

MePhone: Computer-stuff. Since I have a gift, I might as well use it.

Spingy: I'm...back! I'm back to-- [glitches] NORMAL!

[Sigh] Springtastic...

You’re right. They can be whoever they want.

We're square.

[Boing]

MePhone: -AUGHHHHH!! I can’t do this forever! I can’t! AUGHHHHH!

Balloon: MePhone! MePhone. It’s okay, you don’t have to. It’s not like it’s too late to turn things around.

Cabby: We’re here for you.

Silver Spoon: That is… so long as you’re not going to ditch us for a shiny new season.

-GRR!

-What? We were all thinking it!

MePhone: -That season four file was mine. I got scared, and instead of fixing all my garbage I looked into a replacement for the replacement.

But that’s exactly what Cobs would do to us.

Thanks for trusting I’d figure it out.

This is our home. At least till the job is done.

Balloon: Soooo, there IS a prize, then?

mePhone: -Heh...

I'll work on it! I promise.

[EXAMINATION TIME: TA DA!]

MePhone: …And, I wanted to apologize to you all.

This unanimous voting thing

[the1975attheirverybest]

I get that it upsets people to think about Matty possibly falling out with someone he was (seemingly) close with, but if I got online and saw people pitying me like that I’d commit a crime. Like you said, it dehumanizes him. He’s so patient and respectful with us, all he expects is the same patience and respect back. He already gives so much of himself to us, through his art and just daily interactions, no one should think they’re entitled to anymore than he’s willing to share. He’s literally talked multiple times about how he struggles with fame and how much the press fucked with him as a child, he was famous before but one month hanging around TS and suddenly he’s everywhere, it’s just sad to think that his own fans are participating in it.

It’s literally just gossip, but if it’s true, it doesn’t concern us. Friendships end all the time, people grow apart, shit happens. If all this TS stuff never happened no one would be questioning why he didn’t make it to the wedding.

It’s also disappointing because he JUST came back to socials. All this shit (starting with the TikTok) starts up and suddenly he’s gone again. Yeah, I’m sure it has to do with the breaks they’ve had and him spending time in LA, but part of me wonders if he just doesn’t feel like interacting with fans online when he doesn’t have to. I know he comes and goes all the time, but either way, he sees all of this bullshit and fans know it. Theories about his personal life should be kept in DMs (or preferably in their heads).

I know people send you dumb shit but you’re one of the few people I’ve seen actually shut it down, or give a logical, reasonable explanation. I’m also loving Reddit right now since the mods delete any speculation about his personal life.

Anyways, this ended up being way too long, and it’s also me being a hypocrite for speculating, but these past few months have been exhausting, I thought it would let up after May. I know he’s a celebrity but he’s not like most celebrities. He interacts with us like we’re on the same level, he willingly spends time in online fan spaces, he goes out his way to make us happy. Sorry for ranting in your inbox, but this all just bums me out.

Yes I strongly agree with this, especially his social media presence because I’ve seen the shit that people tag him in. And it’s insane. He’s got thick skin and a healthy detachment from peoples views of him but he’s still a human being. It can’t always be easy.

I don’t think we appreciate his love for his job and his fans enough. Some days in May were REALLLYYY hard for him. Twice he had to go onstage and perform less than an hour after some nasty articles were being published about him. I love my job and my students more than I love myself. I would do it for free if the university didn’t pay me. But I don’t know if I would be able to keep it together if I were in Matty’s shoes. And sometimes he was the one talking us down. “I’m still here and I love you guys.” “Some people they have people. I have you guys.” C’mon! How does it not feel awful participating in behavior that hurts him or is in any way shape or form harmful towards an artist like that? He’s so good to us and goes above and beyond all the fucking time. And he’s spoken so much about how important it is to him that he connects with people and builds this sense of community cuz it’s a way to combat the doom and gloom of our current state. He’s always open and generous and kind. He’s given stage props to fans. He’s had a fan onstage to play guitar for robbers. He’s played songs that were not on the setlist just cuz people have requested them and he’s humble enough to feel that the show is about the audience not about him, so he will go out of his way to give the audience the best time that he can possibly give. and his own fuckin fans are doing this to him??? Unacceptable. and I’m so tired of it. This fandom is way better than this. We never used to do this kind of thing. We should cut this shit out before it becomes permanent.

[cfs-crohns-colitis-warrior]

Fuck DWP and the benefits system. It’s so ducked up. Can’t have more than £6000 in savings or my benefits start to go down, so how am I ever supposed to save for anything? This includes having an ISA where the money can only be used to buy a house or for retirement.

I mean, I get they can only do so much and stuff, but the way everything is laid out is just so fucked up. It takes forever to even get benefits and a lot of people who need the give up trying to get them because it’s so damn difficult and there’s so many hoops to jump through.

I want to start my own business to try and earn a little so I don’t have to completely rely on benefits, but apparently the business account amount also counts towards my savings, which is ridiculous to me because it’s not my money, it’s the companies money. Sure, I own the company, but the money in that business account would purely be for reinvesting in the business, for buying more stock and materials. If the money were to be transferred to my personal account then it’d be mine, cause it’d be my wages, not that it would even be much. I just think it’s stupid.

Then there’s the fact that when I’m able to move in with my boyfriend, I don’t get treated as a separate person. It won’t be my savings only that affect my benefits, it’ll be our savings so I probably won’t get anything at all, which is insane because I can’t expect my boyfriend to pay for absolutely everything, all by himself. I need to be able to split the bills, especially since the majority of power used will be used by me since I’m always home. I need to be able to help pay for the food we eat and for my own stuff like my toiletries and any kind of entertainment I use to get me through the day so I’m not mindlessly staring out the window depressed all day because I can’t work. I can understand they want to take your partners earnings into account, but I should still be treated as an individual person. Sure, if I were to move in with a millionaire, done give me benefits, because as much as I’d like to be able to pay my own way with stuff it would be ridiculous to claim benefits while being with someone rich who can afford to pay for everything, even if you should be able to pull your own weight, which you would be doing if you were able to work properly. Unfortunately my boyfriend is not a millionaire (though I wouldn’t change a thing, I love him to pieces), and therefore will not be able to pay for everything all by himself. If I don’t get any benefits and I struggle running my own business, either in terms of sales or I’m terms of energy to keep it running in order to make anything to sell, then I’m stuck with nothing coming in and having to rely solely on my boyfriend, and that’s so unfair.

We need to be able to save for a house so we can live together. We need to be able to have savings in case anything goes wrong, like the boiler breaks or we have to pay for something in an emergency. We need to be able to pay for food, to pay the bills, to pay for the car for getting around, to pay for insurance etc. There’s so much stuff you have to pay for, and to have two people relying on one income that is only suitable for one person isn’t right.

Sorry, rant over, I just had to complain somewhere. Money is stressing me out and I’m worrying about the future and how we’ll manage everything. I want to enjoy the now but I’m just so stressed about the future and trying to plan things out it’s just not going that way at the moment. Fingers crossed my health improves and I can either get a normal job again or I can have enough energy to make my business a success and actually earn decent money to contribute to everything we want to pay for in the future.

Wishing everyone well and hoping things improve for everyone asap, especially for people struggling with their health, money, any struggles they’re currently facing tbh. I wish the world were a better place.

[alienheartattack]

Looking for beta readers!

Hey everyone! Your favorite deadbeat ship mom here. I’ve been really plugging away on my first novel, an enemies/rivals to friends to lovers romantic comedy tentatively titled Just You and Me, and I’m going fucking mental not having anyone read it.

Before you read any further - this book is a big chonker. My first complete draft is nearly 238,000 words. My current draft (we’re calling it 2.5 for... reasons) is about two-thirds done and is sitting pretty at 103,000 words. So if you’re interested in beta reading, this is a big-ass endeavor.

Just You and Me is the story of Jess Egan, a 31-year-old associate creative director by day and punk guitarist by night. Originally from Philadelphia and now living in Brooklyn, she takes pride in her scrappy DIY ethos and her working class background. She throws all of her energy and talent into her band, Hot Mess, and her job — the less said about her love life, the better — and is primed and ready for a promotion to full-fledged creative director. It’s basically a slam dunk.

Except she doesn’t get it. That honor goes to Tom Cannard, a total stranger from the London office, who comes from massive wealth and has had every advantage that Jess has had to scramble for, and now he’s her boss. She dislikes him before they even meet, but their first impressions of each other sour things even more.

Jess and Tom clash constantly, especially after being given a mortifying assignment at work. But the more time they spend around each other, the more they realize they’re not so different after all and maybe, just maybe, they might actually come to like each other.

It’s funny, it’s smutty, the leads are disasters but you love ‘em anyway. The first draft has some discussion of past SA but other than that I can’t think of any other triggers there might be besides pegging and some hilarious cum-related mishaps.

If you have any questions or want to beta read, drop me a DM! I am especially looking for queer/trans and POC sensitivity readers to make sure I wrote the diverse supporting cast well. I can’t afford to pay, but I am willing to beta read or give critiques for anyone who agrees to read for me.

Please reblog to spread the word, I’ve been slogging away on this book since 2020 and I need someone to tell me I’m not insane. Thanks!!

[lhenn]

Tag "9" people you want to know better

Tagged by @alma-amentet thanks! Always fun to take part in these

3 Ships

1. Zoro & Sanji (ZoSanZo) (One Piece) (and per extension my D&D OC Kaze and an NPC from the campaign named Muharib, they reminded everyone of them)

2. Soul & Maka (Soul Eater) (I'm not really obsessed over them, I just think they're sublime and have a special place in my heart)

3. Idgie & Ruth (Fried Green Tomatoes, they have all my heart and more and there isn't a single time I don't cry with them)

(probably should have added Erik & Christine, but even though I love them, I think the ones I mentionedhave sticked with me for far longer)

First ship

Well. Tough one. Since I became interested in fandoms? My first interaction with a fandom was due to Naruto being super gay with Sasuke, then either SasuNaru or NejiTen.

If not counting interacting with fandoms, earlier I really liked maybe Usui and Misaki from Kaichou wa maid-sama!

And from when I was a kid, I'm really not sure, but probably Eragon & Arya or Westley & Buttercup. I really liked them then.

I'm not really a "shipper"?, I have my preferences but I don't usually become focused with many of them.

Currently reading

Two years ago I started re-reading again (3rd time) Seven Realms Series by Cinda Williams Chima (I really adore this saga), but stress with university, switching from reading in Spanish to English (not being so used to it then), got me into a block soon after starting The Gray Wolf Throne.

Since then, I've read many manhwas/mangas/mangwas, some of them still not finished (Define the Relationship, Under the Green Light, Thirst...) (Mature content, be wary)

I also tried to go back to reading by beginning Treasure Island... it didn't quite work. I've read 4 chapters or so. Will go back to it in a few weeks probably, after exams.

Currently I am properly reading When the longing returns and Squirrel Girl, plus some D&D stuff from the campaign I'm currently playing.

Last film

Funny 'cause it's Treasure Planet xD

Last song

Well, this is a tough one, when I began writing this I was listening to "Hey, Little Songbird" from Hadestown and then "Todo Arde" by Juan Navazo, 6 songs later, right now Phantom of the opera (cover by Reinaeiry and Chloe Breez) is playing xD

Currently craving

Another D&D session for sure. I'm starving, I don't think I'll make it 'till the 25th

I mean, money, always money. I'm a currently unemployed broke student and living with my parents is driving me even more insane. Hopefully I'll land a job this summer coding as a still studying junior, the same one I intend to do my internship at next year. I won't make much, but I might be able to pay my part of a shared appartment with some friends once I've finished my current studies.

A hug, hormones have been driving me mad these past two days and I've been so so soft. Still am. I would like to drown in a big embrace, but honestly, right now, I don't have anyone I would like to give me that kind of hug. Am I weird? Haha I'm just not really a "touchy" person.

Time to draw and write, lately I haven't been able to.

Tagging: @night-unfurls-its-splendour @birdstooth @carpeossa @dross-the-fish @erik-carierre @gee1puu @jenjanart @muirin007 @royalavera @rose-margaritas @tondroom @toastjadan no pressure to join, and anyone who sees this and would like to participate is more than welcomed 😊

[eddiediaaz]

you know what? i think being unemployed/on EI benefits for a few months during winter (starting in early december), while things go back to normal in the vfx world, is not the end of the world. in fact, i think i'm gonna try to see it as a break that i need and i'll try to make the most of it.

just some rambling incoming lol i feel like writing in a journal. used to do that more on my previous account but here i think it's a first

i am frustrated that i have no control over my career, as it currently hangs in the hands of a few millionnaires in the states (mine and thousands of people, i know). i'm frustrated that i had only started finally putting money aside for projects after cclearing my credit debt. i'm frustrated i've "lost/wasted" my summer doing overtime.

but. but i've also never had a work or school break for longer than 3 weeks since i've been like 15. half my entire life i've spent going to school full time and working part time and during the school breaks, and then to working full time without any kind of break. i never had a long nice vacation. the only break i've had was in 2021 i went 3 weeks on medical leave due to my depression and i couldn't afford to take more time off, so i went back to work against the doctor's recommendations. i know it's like that for a lot of people lol, it's a regular thing to work all the time, especially in north america's tiring work culture, but still. so it's... nice? to think about being unemployed for a few months. i'm trying to see it in a positive light.

i think it'll be nice to have a few months to myself and not having to work. i'm incredibly privileged and grateful that my current salary is good enough to give me comfortableish benefits while on EI. which is another insane thing to even think about?? and rather new too, i've only had this salary for less than 2 years and it's the only reason i was able to clear my credit debt quicker than expected. it's not even that much money but as someone who grew up pretty poor and has always been living paycheck to paycheck, it feels insane that i can be on EI and still be able to pay my bills comfortably, you know?

anyway. i think i'm okay with it. frustrated that i have to press pause on my life projects, again, but thankful that at least i won't have to, like, get the first minimum wage job that comes just to pay my bills (not sure minimum wage could cover that lol). i've been there before, having to get whatever job to make it one month to the other, multiple times, and i'm thankful that, at least, it's happening while i'm in a better financial position. and by better financial position i just mean that i only have a portion of my college debt to pay back, no other kind of debt. i don't have any kind of savings or placements or whatever "regular adults" have tho.

one thing i am scared of is boredom. what the fuck am i gonna do for 3 to 5 months without working full time lol??? like. i've never been there!!! and i don't even have a car to like, go places! i'm already thinking of where i could go volunteer in the city, of cheap projects i could do in my apartments and stuff like that. i'll stir crazy after the first month i think, not gonna lie. or maybe i'll just play the sims a lot

ultimately, i need to keep in mind this will most likely only be temporary. my employer said they wanna keep in touch with me for when things go back to normal, so i am hopeful that, at least, i may have a job to go back to? of course i definitely am losing this job in december, but there is hope i can get hired again at that place. because i do love this company and i was proud to have made it there.

[whentherewerebicycles]

god okay I feel like I am on firm ground at last. welcome to my public diary where I must process everything aloud! but I will put it behind the cut.

here’s where my head is at re: the job…

I feel WAY better about the work after the second interview and follow-up conversation. the first interview left me with the impression that it was going to be kinda dull training work, whereas the second one made it clear that it’s actually a lot of fairly high-level design work that I think I am going to find very interesting. seems like it’ll be 1/3rd independent research and learning module design assignments, 1/3 direct one-on-one coaching or group facilitation work, and 1/3 higher-level planning & design work to build out learning and development infrastructure for a new government organization. they are also in the middle of a major restructuring/launch of a new org and they kept saying they really wanted me to feel like I could propose ideas and have a lot of room to create new stuff and establish priorities for the role, which is nice to hear.

they really liked me!!! and seemed to value my skillset. this is not crucial to the decision-making calculus lol but I feel like one thing that is frustrating about working at the same place where you were a grad student is that you are sort of forever a grad student in everyone’s eyes, no matter how long you’ve been out of grad school. I am excited to get to work in a different field with people who will only have known me as a professional.

they made it clear that they are willing and eager to spend $$$ on any professional development trainings or certifications I want to pursue. I am making a LIST!!!! like I badly want to get official training/certification in coaching and I want the agile project management certificate and and and.

it’s for sure not the kind of thing I want to do forever but I think a year in this role would help me build some practical skills and save money. I also feel way better about working for the government than doing this kind of work in the corporate world? nothing wrong with corporate work I just think that public sector work will keep me closer to where I want to be long term.

they are going to pay me an amount of money that seems insane to me and I could kinda tell they expected me to negotiate for higher in the phone call where they offered me the job. I’m going to look at the full offer letter and then ask for a little bit more just to get practice lol but regardless: it’s going to let me save so much and that is a RELIEF because I have so little in savings.

so I think I am going to take it for sure.

BUT THEN… if we get approval to use the extra $ from the foundation, I think I am going to try to negotiate a part-time role with my current job. that would mean staying in Texas longer, but it would give me the chance to finish out my lease, save a LOT of money, enjoy what is usually a glorious Texas winter, help secure long-term funding for our program, and then hire/train a new manager so the program doesn’t die when I leave. most importantly it would let me keep doing values-aligned teaching & mentoring work during this bridge year, so if I decide I don’t like working outside of a university I can make a fairly seamless transition back into that kind of work.

my university might not approve this plan but I honestly can’t see why they wouldn’t… they have plenty of money to pay a part-time salary and I’m basically offering to do this work as a service to the program. and if they don’t, then I’ll just decide what I want to do about the move at that point. I thought about it a lot after reading everyone’s comments on the option A vs. option B post and I think it’s going to be a lot to handle a major (and very abrupt) cross-country move to an unfamiliar city while also getting up to speed on a new job. I’d rather navigate those gigantic life upheavals one at a time instead of all at once.

the best part is that now instead of this summer feeling aimless and endless, I have a clear start date for new job, which means that suddenly the next three weeks are actually VACATION TIME before the next thing begins! so I can absolutely luxuriate in them instead of feeling like I am drowning in unstructured time. whoohoo!!! maybe I will even visit seattle in this time lol who can say!

[sincelastsession]

Today was shit.

The loudness factor has been insane. I live right next to the pool.

I called my mom freaking out. Honestly it is an unreasonable amount of noise and screaming coming from adults and children and every fucking noise canceling thing and sedative med isn't working. I literally just need to fucking move and AND the stairs are terrible on my fucked up joints back and hip issue.

I tried to have a D/s dynamic with Matt today and he's been a shit head basically not paying attention and he's human we fuck up I get it but today I needed him.

Justin fuckin messaged me about this good time he was having today and so I called because I don't want to text and fuck I don't want to type everything out but text to speech isn't working today because I need a new phone. Which my father promised to help me with.

Anyway then Justin immediately says he has company and can't talk....but he could text me and tell me a teaser line of his day so I'd talk to him?

Fuck I'd planned to say hi just because I wanted to but fuck him.

Petty ass man.

Hannah just told me she took benadryl and slept all day like she needed a fucking award.

I need help. I need to move. I hate living around the loudness.

I understand nobody can afford shit.

THEN MY MOTHER ASKS ME IF SHE WERE TO MOVE TO A BIGGER HOUSE AND HAVE AN ATTACHED HOUSE TO HER HOUSE DO I WANNA LIVE THERE????

She's either lost her mind or fallen for another fucking scam artist who she thinks loves her and wants to visit and see her in person and give her money and spoil her.

I have had to prove her wrong twice if not more than that and she has lost money to these people and other scammers people that said they were the governmentI have had to prove her wrong twice if not more than that and she has lost money to these people and other scammers people that said they were the government

This is insane I am so tired I just want to live in peace and quiet and be left to fuck alone so I can have time with my partner and many other that are peaceful and normal.

I asked my mom to talk to my dad about moving me and she sent me these screen captures which I will share with you. The green text is my mother the other text is my father.

The thing is my mom could very well help him out and she does max out her credit cards and she is addicted to shopping and that is why she as far as I'm aware has not helped very much on paying to help me have a place to live.

She has a job my dad currently does not.

This is all very distressing because the noise and the support beam and all the things I'm worried about are just too much and I really just need something simple and quiet.

I'm terrified that I'm going to end up in a inpatient facility again. I'm scared I'm going to lose my cool and flip the fuck out on some loud inconsiderate people.

I don't think that any of this is fair to me. I understand that people deal with worse but I am not those people and their life is not my life.

I'm sure that this makes me look spoiled but it's far from that. Because no one gives me money for anything I don't ask for money. All I'm asking for is for help getting a different apartment and patience with me while I get better to a baseline where I can operate or maybe I could get a fucking job and help everybody out so I don't have to rely on them.

I'm so fucking upset.

I have tried to sedate myself with my medicine like I'm supposed to take it and it didn't work today and I flipped out.

Idk what to say rn.

[thoughtslikeocean]

March 3, 2024 5:07 PM

Back to vent. I know all of this won't be a big deal in the long run. But as we know all emtions need to be felt, vented and worked through as they say...

WHHYYYY did my mom go and call my dad and ask him for money to help with the repairs of the house. It really made me mad for multiple reasons.. 1. If and when I need it, I know how to ask myself. 2. This wasn't exactly the best timing to be asking my dad for money. 3. I already knew how he was going to feel about giving me lump sums of money without be having a secure income. 4. This is a project that my mom and I decided on. So to make decisions and expect someone else to financially pitched in when they had nothing to do with it is kind of insane.

I'm not mad at my dad for anything he said, im mad that the conversation even had to be had. It was unnecessary. Soooooo nowwww, I have to play damage control once again.

Starting with, I'll allow dad to help me pay for the engineer report but in that same conversation , I'm gonna let him know that any money I am in dire need of, I will let him know. If you get any requests from my mother, just say "okay, I'll talk to Kailey about it". My focus at this time isn't this house, it's getting licensed nationally so I can start working in my field. Once that happens, I can transition back to thinking about the home.

I don't think i'm going to tell my mom anything because I just don't think she'll have the depth to understand. She'll still low-key on a revenge plot over the years she's raised me and "all the money she put in". She still feels slighted. Hasn't let go. And in situations like these, this is where it tends to show it's head. It's not my job to help her through that. Just like it's really not my job to manage the expectations between the both of them. I'm however doing it in this case to make sure the relationships I have with them remain intact. I'm saving myself. Right now, that means letting dad know that what she call and says or asks for (as it relates to me), need to have conversation with me about it. It'll give me peace of my mind on his end.

As for her, I'm going to get the engineering report. And once it comes back with all the million things that need to be fixed. I will be letting her know that I can't do anything with the actual house until RE is up and running/I have better income than currently. If she decides that she wants to move forward, then she can continue to make all the decisions for the house.

So what's my next steps now that I've gotten that off my chest? One foot in front of the other. Crossing bridges when I get there.

Well for one. I'm gonna finish smoking this blunt.

-I'm going to put on some worship music and pray

-I'm going to lock up next door

-Then I'm going to go inside and clean my room and bathroom, and unload that box (Maybe throw in a load of laundry)

-Make some tea and plan your meals for this week (This might include you going to the grocery store tonight, just push through if so)

-Prepare for gym in the morning.

You got this Kailey. This is just a minor setback and you're in need of redirection. You know what's important. Set your eyes back on that.

Now lets get to it!

[brongusthearcanist]

So one of my first cousins from Brazil is coming to visit soon. But recently she told my mom that she was going to fly in through Miami FL and wanted us to pick her up from there. We live 20 minutes south of the Atlanta airport, which makes Miami a 10-12 hr drive. And if she was European I could forgive this, but she's from Brazil, the largest country in South America, she knows how far apart things can be. Now in the past whenever we flew into Brazil, we would have to land in either Sao Paulo, or Rio, which is like 6 hours from their home state, regardless of which one we chose. So she knows how far apart things can be. I get that she's not American. She's never been here, she speaks a good amount of English but has never actually been in the states. And she also wants us to drop her off at the Miami airport which is a no. Like not gonna drive 24 hours round trip just to take someone to an airport. (We are currently trying to see if she can book a different flight).

What's really funny to me though other than the fact she didn't understand distance, is that she told my mom she wanted to spend a week at Disney and stay in a Disney hotel. My mom didn't even respond. She just sent her a link to the Disney website with the prices. And my cousin was shocked. Brazil is not doing great right now. Everything is expensive and jobs are really hard to find. One of my cousins moved here even though he has a masters degree for being an electrician and still couldn't find a job down there. But despite the fact that everything is wicked expensive down there, They don't have to pay for health care, they don't have to drive cars. And groceries are a hell of a lot cheaper. I honestly think it's going to be a huge shock to find out that things aren't really that much better over here. Like sure the jobs generally pay a little bit more, but our health care is insane and the price of driving a car is even more so. They thought Disney was a thing that every American did all the time. Not a luxury that one might be able to afford once a decade. I'm really excited for her to come over, especially because she was probably the main cousin I talked to when I visited down there. And I'm also very excited to ruin her perception of America. I am going to do everything possible to make sure she realizes what a shit hole this place is. It just has nicer wallpaper.

[lithariel]

What counts as a void? Like. If I write a letter and Bury it, technically that's a void. Right? Printing out something just to bottle it up and throw into the ocean would also count. Somebody might find it, but the chances of it being someone that knows you personally are small.

Is this a void? Like. If no one is gonna interact with it, it basically counts. Right? Someone is bound to read it, the question is just whether someone is gonna wanna react, be it silently or loudly.

I miss him a lot. I've rambled about him in the past. To the point where partners would at first say it's fine, but eventually would begin to feel like they're less than him. The way I whine about his absence...

I'm in a better place. Physically. I think. Current job doesn't pay enough, and so far I've only got rejections from better paying places. I don't want to go back to school. I'm trying to fine tune ideas, improve skills, finalise writing. Haven't got far with that.

I have one friend group now, really. Had two, but I dropped out of the biweekly schedule with the second one. It was getting too much. Too much, as in, with the stress of job hunting and the insanely flexible schedule of my current job - on a bad month I work three days of 2-hr shifts - I have spiralled enough to the point that two scheduled group things are too much. I'm pretty sure if I just chatted in there, or reached out to some other people, they'd gladly schedule something with me. I just.

A year ago I scheduled playing something with him. I had to postpone it - even though I suggested it - because a thing came up. A different workshop at the school I was at had tickets to the Nutcracker ballet, and one of their classmates dropped out. Thirty minutes before they left I was approached. I mean. Free tickets to the ballet, who'd say no? He was completely okay with it, even showed him some pictures and a sound recording I took of it. Haven't spoken to him since.

Sometimes you just need to scream into the void.

[riondisease]

i need to tell you about how fucking insane the housing market is right now (at least in the area i’m from in america but i can’t imagine it’s much better elsewhere) source: both me and my mom and my cousin have been looking for houses the last 2 years so i’ve heard all of this at least 6 times.

when you’re trying to buy a house you need a loan from your bank, they approve you for a certain amount depending on how much money you make, sounds easy peasy right? you get the loan, you find a house for that much and you live there? fucking apparently not in the year of our lord 2023.

because see, what happens is that everyone wants $150k+ for their shitty house. and when the bank does an appraisal to see how much the house is worth, they call you after and are like hey dawggity dawg, this house is only worth like $60k, why the fuck would we give you $180k for it. what’s even more frustrating is you can look at the house’s history and see that it sold for $60k 4 years ago!!!! the fuckers that bought it didn’t do anything to raise its value, they just want an extra $100k literally for no reason. what happens then is that only super rich people who can afford to pay for the house without a loan can buy it.

okay so there’s obviously some sort of weird market bullshitery going on, what does any of this mean?

allow me to go on a tangent for awhile. my cousin was in the air force, he’s married, he has young kids and he can’t afford a house. he lives with his mom. this is insane to me because america has always pretended to care about people who have past military service, to care about white nuclear families. the reason why this is so scary to me is that, previously, these were the people who never had to give a fuck about all this, and if even they can’t find anywhere to live what does this mean for everyone else. black and indigenous families? single parents? single people in general? poor/low income people? any intersectionality? where are all of us going to go?

this gap becoming wider and wider is genuinely terrifying. in decades previous if you were privileged, worked, had a family, etc. life was fucking great, and even if you were marginalized, single, and couldn’t work/were poor, there was still a way you could survive and have a house. don’t get me wrong it was still very intense and i don’t want to understate how much people struggled and just how many of these people were homeless, but now doing all that feels like it’s going to be impossible in the future.

my mom has worked at her job for almost 8 years now, she makes $900 per paycheck, tons of debt, she has no health insurance, and we live at my grandparents house. before that she was homeless, she only moved back in with her parents because i was going to be born. can you imagine devoting years of your life to a job and having nothing to show for it except that you and your child are still alive? and that is a huge accomplishment, we’re very lucky, but it just shouldn’t have to be like this. people deserve to have more than just the bare minimum to get by.

eventually my mom’s parents will pass away and her siblings will inherit their house. and they’ll want to sell it for an extra $100k than it’s worth. i don’t know where my mom will go. my current life plan for awhile has been that after i finish high school i’m going to live in my van/car/whatever. i can’t afford to go to college. i sure as hell can’t afford to rent, let alone buy a house. it’ll be hard to make sure my animals are safe and won’t freeze or overheat, as well as just being hygienic and having access to things people with a house wouldn’t have to think about.

and just. man it feels so weird to be staring into uncertainty like this. what’s the situation going to be in 10, 20, 30 years? will only the super rich have houses? will everyone live in their car? will cars become too expensive? what then? i know capitalism is a fundamentally broken system but every year it just gets weirder and weirder and i don’t think it’s going to stop any time soon. it feels like we’re just going to keep being forced into increasingly difficult and unsafe situations. for the most part i try to remain hopeful about the future, but there is a very noticeable trend that’s been happening for the last 60+ years and every decade seems worse than the last.