#and it’s all over by about 1:30 in the afternoon and my body doesn’t accept alcohol anymore so i don’t have to get roped into drinks

[fingertipsmp3]

Should I go to my graduation or not. Seriously

[madaboutmunson]

Again - Part 17 (Not to be confused with 17 Again ;) )

Part 1 | Part 16 | Part 18 | Full list of Again series links inc AO3 Link

Steddie fic where Steve and Eddie are in their mid 30's and everyone has sort of drifted apart

Notes: As per the winning option on the poll I posted here is your 10K+ part of the story :)

Taglist: @adaed5 @grtwdsmwhr @swimmingbirdrunningrock @mightbeasleep, @jewellthebooknerd, @fentiibratzz @rvllybllply2014

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Well…Al-riiiighty then!

That is the only response Steve's brain seems to have to what just happened. Well, what just happened several times over. Well…actually.… not just now, just before he drifted into a euphoric slumber, for however long it's been. He doesn’t know what time it is, and for once, he doesn't care what time it is either.

Steve is very much in a battle in his mind, one part celebrating being the luckiest guy in the world, the other pure fear because Steve knew it was over for him. He was gone, so very gone. Not just hook, line, sinker but also rod, fisherman, his waders, the bait box, his chair and the car he'd driven to the lake in the parking lot, all currently drowning in Eddie Munson.

How was he going to be able to resist Eddie at all now? It's not like he had much in the way of resistance anyway, but now, he basically had none. If he looked at him a certain way from now on, it would send Steve's brain back to this, and he'd be a mess. Who is he kidding? He didn't care how badly he'd got it. Steve snuggles into Eddie's chest more and resigns himself to a happy future of being Eddie's pushover. Eddie's arm is already around him, and he sees his abdomen crease slightly as he gives Steve a kiss on top of his head, and Steve happily accepts his fate.

"Welcome back, honey," Eddie says, his voice a little groggy.

"Hi," Steve answers meekly and looks up at him, causing Eddie to scoff out a laugh.

"Oh, he's quiet now, is he?" Eddie smiles a little smugly, and Steve is mortified and taps him on the side in a vain attempt at annoyance.

"I was…how dare…I mean…ok, I wasn't that loud!" Steve defends, "Besides, you were no church mouse either."

"Hey, man, I don't care. They aren't my neighbours. They don't know my voice, but they'll get used to it quite quickly, I imagine," Eddie chuckles evilly.

"What are you talking about, neighbours? I don't share walls with anyone," Steve laughs.

"No, you're absolutely right, you don't. How silly of me," Eddie says, and Steve feels satisfied he's won this one for a second, "Except you do share a street, right?"

He frowns hard at Eddie but with a confused smile, "Well, of course, I do…." Steve starts with a very condescending tone until it hits him. His face drops, and he looks to the window. It's wide open, and now so is Steve's mouth. "The window!" Steve whimpers in horror. "Why didn't you say something before, Eddie? Jesus Christ!!" Steve exclaims.

Steve gets up to close the window, and he's immediately tackled back into bed. "Steve! You can't give them the audiobook and now the movie," Eddie laughs gesturing at Steve's naked body, "First of all, it was hotter than the firey pits of hell in here! I know you have AC, dude. Turn it on! And then I was busy! So forgive me for not making the window my priority!" 

Cursing under his breath, Steve grabs a sheet off the bed in one firm pull, almost flinging Eddie straight off the other side because he pulls it with so much force and wraps it around his waist before going to the window. Unfortunately, once there, despite being one floor up, he makes eye contact with one of his older neighbours gardening, Ms Montarello's best gal pal Mrs Kensington. He tries to give one of his big neighbourly smile and wave combos, but it soon becomes awkward. In return, she sends him a thumbs up. He just knows this will be on the agenda at their next afternoon tea. Steve wishes the ground would swallow him entirely. Maybe it wasn't too late for the Russians to take him away for real this time or for him to go live in his own alternate dimension of his own construction. Steve feels a weight on his shoulder. It's Eddie's arm leaning on him. "Sorry, my sweet, I didn't mean to leave it open. I swear. I was just trying to make light of it." Eddie genuinely apologises. Steve rolls his eyes and shakes his head.

"It's ok, it's done now. Can't have been that bad. She sent back a good review" Steve imitates her thumbs up, turning to Eddie with a big goofy smile, which suddenly falls from his face when he realises that Eddie has not even attempted to cover himself up, so Steve frantically tries to share the sheet with him, as Eddie spots Mrs Kensington and blows her a kiss, "Jesus Christ, Eddie! Cover up! She can see right in here."

"First of all, how good can her eyes be? Secondly, it's our window. She shouldn't be looking in here…" Eddie continues to reason the many ways this is not their fault, and instead, it's Steve's neighbours that are little perverts, but his brain has picked up part of what Eddie said and put it in a protective glass case in Steve's mind museum.

"Our window?" Steve interrupts gently.

"Yeah, our window, that's what I said. They shouldn't be looking in here," Eddie tries to continue before sighing and looking at him. "You haven't been listening to me, have you?"

"Not much after you said, our window, to be honest," Steve says softly, wrapping Eddie tighter in their shared sheet, pulling him towards him. He can see Eddie, whilst not unappreciative, is also confused for a few seconds, and he's trying to figure it out, and then he realises, and the faintest pink blush hits his jaw.

"Oh, sorry. It just kinda fell out of my mouth. I mean your window," Eddie corrects, but Steve shakes his head.

'Nope, No way. I will not sign off on that retcon. It's our window now. If you want, that could be our bed, and back there our closet. Our bathroom, our mirror, our TV, our love seat." Steve looks deeply into Eddie's eyes, "If you wanted that, that is?" Eddie scans Steve's face, and no reply comes, "but obviously no pressure at all." Steve quickly backs off as he tries to hide the excitement inside of him that is bubbling over.

"I mean, there would be a lot to figure out, but, shit, I'd really like that. I-I'd love that, babe," Eddie finally replies.

"You would?!" Steve checks with too much excitement and receives a dewy-eyed nod in confirmation. "Oh, well, in that case." Steve wrenches open the window again, "These are your neighbours too, now. It's only fair they get to hear how loud you can be, right?" Eddie's eyes widen, and Steve scoops him up in the sheet and pretty much body-slams him back into bed.

"Who are you? And what have you done with friendly neighbourhood Steve Harrington?!" Eddie laughs.

"Last I heard, some charismatic cult leader got their dragon claws into him, and he hasn't been the same since," Steve smiles hugely, caging Eddie in his arms. "Took out more than double his hit points, an insta-kill!" Steve adds, hovering over Eddie in their sheet tangle, diving down for a kiss before pushing up with his arms to pull away to look down at this beautiful creature, satanic or otherwise. It didn't really matter.

Eddie lets out an excitable growl and grabs hold of the sheet behind Steve to pull him in closer, "Gods be damned, Steve, this brisket is gonna be a shadow of itself, but you know I can't resist when you talk nerdy to me" Eddie adds before he's cut off with another kiss from Steve.

“Have I found the weakness of stone-cold heavy metal legend Eddie Munson? Nerdy talk? How did you get through your days surrounded by geeks, huh? Must have been a boner minefield,” Steve whispers, brushing his nose against Eddies, still in total disbelief that any of this was his life now, or at least had the potential to be. They had to work out a few other things with Jenny and the kids, but he pushes that to the side for now, focusing on the angel beneath him.

“Ok, first of all, ew! Images of the geeks I hung out with at school, or the games store have no place in my brain right now. Bad, Steve!” He attempts to reprimand Steve, but his voice is far too gentle, and his eyelids droop as he gazes into his eyes. Soon he is wiggling his arms free of the sheet and caressing Steve’s back tenderly, “And, well, it only works when a jock does it. A specific jock. ‘Bout time you caught up, though.” Eddie laughs softly, pulling Steve in tighter with the sheet, and leaning up for another kiss, but Steve pulls away playfully.

“Caught up? I’m in the lead,” Steve mutters, pouting his lips out so they almost brush Eddie’s, and his hooded eyes trail over his beautiful face. Fuck, you’re the luckiest and, at the same time, the most sorry-whipped guy in the universe, Steve Harrington. He finally makes eye contact with Eddie again, only to see his eyes roll.

“You are not in the lead, no matter how cute you are trying to be about it,” Eddie replies, unable to stop his eyes dropping to stare at Steve's mouth. Steve moves his arms further up the mattress so his hands dip into Eddie’s hair earning him an appreciative moan from his beau.

“I think you’re wrong about that,” he says quietly, “I’m in the lead. Nerdy shit, Metal, your hair, when I jump to your defence and when hold you just right. I’m miles ahead of you, Eddie. You’re still in the starting blocks,” Steve laughs gently as Eddie raises an eyebrow.

“Is that so? Hmmm,” Eddie teases. “Believe me when I say. I have many of your weaknesses tucked away, Sweetheart. I just don't use them all because it's not fair.”

“Not fair, how?” Steve says, confused, frowning and pouting a little at this revelation. Eddie leans up and kisses between his furrowed brows to relax them again.

“Holy hell, you’re cute. You know that?” Eddie sighs against Steve’s chest and blinks himself back into the subject at hand, “It's not fair because you don’t remember, and at the time, I really shouldn't have been logging these things. I should have just been being your friend. Can you forgive me for wanting to be your everything?” Eddie presses his soft lips to the side of Steve’s neck, making him see stars. “Can you forgive me for building a toolkit of what I imagined were all the things I needed to make you fall in love with me, even though I knew it was impossible?” Eddie mutters against his throat, and all Steve can do is close his eyes in bliss and attempt to concentrate on remaining propped up on his arms so that he doesn't fall entirely onto Eddie. Finally, Steve clears his throat and opens his eyes slowly with a quick breath.

“Now, that doesn't count. You said you had a whole bunch from before,” Steve tries to protest as Eddie stops mid-nuzzle against his neck.

“Oh, you want the big guns, do you?” Eddie grins, grabs hold of Steve, and turns them to the side. Steve can’t help his smile, and a trickle of giggles escapes his mouth. Eddie goes to speak, and Steve quickly puts a finger to his lips.

“With the backstory? Please?” Steve asks in an overly soft tone of pleading. Eddie crosses his eyes and bites his bottom lip, making Steve laugh.

“Can I get my turn? Backstory? Seriously!” Eddie shakes his head. “Jesus Christ, I’m beginning to feel glad this didn’t happen sooner. Limited-experience Eddie would definitely have struggled to survive a newly converted King Steve.”

“Get on with it!” Steve playfully pokes at him.

“Oh! Stefano! Never rush the storyteller! Rule numero uno!” Eddie says wide-eyed before narrowing his eyes and biting his lip, “How about a re-enactment?” Steve nods excitedly in agreement, hoping that he’ll gain another memory. “Ok, but it does mean you're gonna have to turn away from me” Eddie points over Steve’s shoulder to the wall behind him, making Steve’s eyebrows raise in disappointed surprise, “Trust me, it's only for a moment” Eddie reassures him, and Steve rolls to face the wall. He half expects Eddie to snuggle up behind him, but it doesn't happen. Eddie hasn't moved from lying face up on the bed.

“So backstory. You had come over to ours as usual, but it was clear to me you had been really upset about something, but, well, I wasn't sure if I should pry, considering you’d just been at home and I knew you're parents were back. I figured they’d upset you somehow. Anyway, I got you a beer, and we shared a few joints on my bed, nothing out of the ordinary until you rolled away. Then you opened up like a little clam, ever such a tiny amount. You said when you got home, your Dad had been drinking and was arguing with your Mom. Being who you are, I knew you’d stepped in to defend her and caught the sharp end of your Dad’s temper. You didn't tell me what he said. You just said he’d smashed one of your favourite records. I knew that a smashed record wouldn't have been enough for someone like you to get upset, and it wasn't the first time your Dad had been a drunk asshole, but it's all I had to go on. So I asked you what record it was. You told me it was Bryan Adams” Steve tries to remember what it might be but can't capture it. He twists his fingers in the sheet pooled in front of him. He definitely remembers his Dad being an asshole, but it was such the norm that Steve had trouble separating one occurrence from another. He expects Eddie probably did something sweet, like got him a replacement or offered him his own copy. Then, Steve hears Eddie clear his throat.

Oh, once in your life you find someone

Who will turn your world around

Bring you up when you're feelin' down

Eddie sings out quietly, the raspiness in his voice imitating the singer like it was an impression, and suddenly the wall in front of Steve changes, and it's dark now. The pillow he is on isn't as fluffy, and he’s curled up on Eddie’s old bed. He can see the guitar hanging there and the hazy smoke drifting lazily through the moonlight.

Yeah, nothin' could change what you mean to me

Oh, there's lots that I could say

But just hold me now

'Cause our love will light the way

Steve smiles as Eddie’s singing gets more enthusiastic and louder, and he hears himself laugh, and he expects that might have shut Eddie down back then, but as soon as he thinks that. 1986 Eddie has vaulted off the bed over him, stumbling to the floor. Steve gets up to help him, but Eddie is already dusting off his Batman Pajama bottoms. He picks up his hairbrush from the mirror and yells out the chorus, complete with eyes screwed up tight and air grabs.

And, baby, you're all that I want

When you're lyin' here in my arms

I'm findin' it hard to believe

We're in heaven

Then Steve hears something else, “BOY! IF YOU DON'T PIPE DOWN THIS GODDAMN INSTANT,” Its Wayne yelling from the bedroom across the hall of the new trailer. Eddie throws open his bedroom door and sings even louder and more dramatically.

Yeah, love is all that I need

And I found it there in your heart

It isn't too hard to see

We're in heaven.

Eddie's face quickly changes from imitating an 80’s rockstar to one of a kid about to get in serious trouble, but he has a massive grin on his face as he dives over Steve to hide behind him. Steve looks to his side, and he can see Eddie’s ringed hand holding onto his arm and his mischievous eyes peering over him, using Steve as a wall of defence against the incoming storm Wayne. And it does arrive, but as he steps into the room, he looks at them both, nods “Steve.” and then points a finger at Eddie. “Keep it down, you hear me?” he says seriously but much more gently. Steve feels Eddie nod against his side, and Wayne leaves, closing the door gently behind him. Then he reaches for Eddie’s hand.

“Thanks, man. That was pretty funny,” Steve says quietly with a laugh. Eddie shrugs.

“It was the only one I knew by him, if you’re, er, wondering about the weird choice. I don’t even know all the words” Eddie scratches at the back of his neck and then disappears behind him again, leaving his hand under Steve’s. He rolls onto his back to join Eddie, looking up at the ceiling, carefully placing their hands between them. 

“I can, uh, help you with the rest if you wanna sing some more? Just you know quietly so we don't disturb Wayne,” Steve offers nervously. He can feel his heart thundering in his chest but can hear his thoughts too. Eddie’s just being kind, don't make this weird. He was just trying to cheer you up. You’d do the same for Robin.

“Sure” He can hear the smile in Eddie’s younger voice, “What's the next line?”

He feels a pinch on his side, and suddenly the ceiling is his own.

“Hey, mister, you can’t go for that long. Even if I do look super cute in there.” Eddie says, almost sounding a little jealous of his past self.

“Sorry about that. It's just exciting to get all this new stuff. Well, old stuff back.” Steve defends bashfully, turning to Eddie.

“It was a lie, by the way,” Eddie utters delicately.

“What was?” Steve worries that somehow Eddie had made this all up, and maybe what he recalled didn't happen at all.

“You think with my sense of humour and love for playing guitar, I didn’t know Summer of ‘69? Pu-lease! Not that past-Eddie hadn't noticed him in your collection and studied that album at length. I knew all the lyrics too. I’d been practising them when you weren't around” He rolls his eyes, “In fantasy land, I was gonna serenade you with my guitar when you finally realised that out of everyone in the world, mansion-dwelling Steve Harrington was gonna settle for little trailer-trash Eddie Munson.” He laughs, “God, I was a piece of work back then.”

“Well, he wasn't wrong, was he?” Steve turns on his side to face Eddie and reaches out to guide his eyes to his own. “You’re not wrong either, though.”

“What do you mean?” Eddie smiles as he moves onto his side and shuffles against the bedding to be closer to Steve.

“Mansion-dwelling Steve Harrington did very much want little trailer….dwelling Eddie Munson” Steve corrects, holding Eddie's face in his hands, “And you were right, because you singing to me like that is definitely working for me, baby” Eddies eyebrows flash, and an excitable smile appears on his face. “Also, I lied too,” Steve barely says, leaning in for a kiss. 

“Whaddyamean?” Eddie's words are muffled against Steve’s lips, and Steve returns a tiny whisper of a laugh to Eddie’s before moving back the smallest amount.

“My Dad didn't break that record. He was probably being an asshole, though. I just wanted to hear your voice sing something sweet for me, and I didn't know how to ask for that without it being weird. I knew how kind a heart you had, and I thought the chances were slim, but I must have been so low I went for it, and you came through like you always do,” Steve says fondly, searching Eddie’s blinking bambi eyes. “With that said…Wanna make some noise?” Steve asks, trying to hold back his own laugh at his corny line. Eddie nods enthusiastically.

“Bur-a-rum”, Steve mutters next to Eddie’s ear, only to find himself clasped firmly by the shoulders and Eddie looking at him wide-eyed.

“Steve, did you just try and speak Entish to me?” Eddie asks interrogatively.

“See, I do listen”, Steve smiles mischievously.

“Ok, well, just so you know, that is a noise of disgust.” Eddie informs, but before Steve can pout about getting it wrong, his chin is scooped up between Eddie’s thumb and forefinger, “But that does not negate the effort, of the nerdiness of what you just did. I. Very. Much. Appreciate. It” he punctuates his words with kisses around Steve’s face, as he tangles him back up in the covers with him.

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Much to their surprise, the brisket survived, and Eddie was absolutely correct. They were both starving, and it was a taste sensation. They didn't even carve the thing, just tore it apart in front of the TV. Both of them in actual shorts this time, in case Steve forgot another appointment, are sitting on seat cushions pulled to the floor. Eddie sat between Steve's legs whenever he tore off a piece splitting it in two and offering the other part over his shoulder to Steve. And whenever Steve stretched forward, Eddie would kiss his cheek quickly. Then once he leaned back and finished chewing, Steve would put a kiss on the back of Eddie's neck, where he'd already parted the hair, just for that purpose.

"You know, I was thinking about what you said earlier, and I just want to make sure I understand. You were asking me to stay longer than this week, right?" Eddie asks, and Steve can hear the cautiousness in his voice. Steve squeezes him reassuringly with his thighs.

"Yeah, Uh-huh, that is precisely what I meant," Steve answers confidently with no hesitation.

"But what about when the kids are here? I’m still kinda new to them, and will Jenny be ok with some stranger living with her kids?" Eddie asks again with that hint of worry.

"Hey, don’t worry. Here are my thoughts, ok?” Steve squeezes Eddie’s sides gently with his legs again. “How about this? You live in our home with me when the kids aren't here. When the kids are here, you can stay in a guest room or your RV if you want, ok? For however long you want. Until you and the kids are cool with you living here. Meanwhile, you can come with me to meet Jenny and Val. You can get to know them, and I just know they'll love you, babe. Jenny might be a bit prickly initially, but that isn't personal. She's just a mama and cares about me because we’re family." Steve leans forward, puts his arms around Eddie and rests on his shoulder, "It would be wonderful if, when everyone was comfortable with it, we added you to that concept too. Family." Steve knows maybe he's saying too much, thinking too far ahead, but this wasn't some stranger he'd met a few weeks ago. It was Eddie. His Eddie, and if there was anything he'd learned the past few days, it was this. No matter the layers that the last fifteen years had tried to bury him under, Steve's Eddie is still there, and what he knows about the Eddie he has now is also amazing. Sure, there were some bad spots for him over the last fifteen years, but that isn't who he is now, and the reason for him being that way is gone too.

There is a pause, and Steve feels Eddie's chest rise and fall quickly. It's not until a little droplet hits his arm Steve realises that Eddie is crying because he's doing it entirely silently. Steve closes his eyes almost to hide from the pain of realisation of why anyone would have developed a silent cry in the first place. So someone at some point couldn't hear them. He squeezes Eddie as tightly as he can with his whole body, "I got you," Steve whispers, "Like I said, not until you want it, ok, not until you're ready, even if that's never. Even if you only wanna be with me when the kids aren't here, and you wanna still have your slice of freedom. No matter the arrangements or weird convoluted plans, I'm not going to give us up unless you tell me it's over. So you're safe to be yourself. I adore you." Steve tries to comfort Eddie with his words too.

They sit like that in silence for a little while longer until Steve feels Eddie's body calm in his arms. Then through sniffles and sharp intakes of breath, Eddie manages, "A-and-and W-Wayne?" Steve doesn't remember hearing Eddie stutter this badly before. Then, in a repetitive, soothing motion, he gently rubs Eddie’s arms to try and help calm him down a little more.

"Of course, and Wayne, Jack and Morgan, Gareth and Annie, and all those huge lumberjack siblings of hers. A small frog you befriend on your way home. Whatever you come with, Eddie. As long as it doesn't endanger my kids, I don't care, and I know you would never do that" Steve smiles against Eddie's hair as he envelops him back in his arms again.

"N-never," Eddie repeats, taking a deep breath and quickly wrapping his own arms over Steve's, holding on tightly. "I-I-I," Eddie grunts in frustration, and Steve guesses it must be because of the stuttering. Eddie loves words, and Steve imagines maybe this was why. A little boy with a stutter, overcoming it and using that power to talk about anything and everything. All the way until storytelling and performance become an integral part of who he is as a person. 

He hears Eddie take another deep breath, "I'd like to stay." he manages and takes yet another deep breath, "When the k-kids are here, I-I-I," another frustrated sound before another round of deep breaths, "ssssstay in the RV. Un-until they're ok with it" another pause, and Steve can hear Eddie trying to form some words, but they aren't coming out. Finally, he huffs, breaks free of Steve, pushing his arms away, gets up suddenly and storms out of the living room, and Steve hears the front door slam open.

"Eddie!!" Steve yells after him. His heart is pounding. He said he wasn't going to run, but now Steve has pushed him too far too quickly, and he's just bolted. Steve's legs feel like they've filled with the weighted lead of absolute fear as he gets up to chase after him, but before he even gets to his feet, the front door slams again, and a furious-looking Eddie is back storming towards the Hi-Fi clutching a CD in his hands.

"Eddie, what the hell is going on?! Jesus Christ! I thought you'd gone," Steve exclaims with a sigh of relief, sinking back to the cushion on the floor, looking at a hunched-over Eddie who is hitting the buttons so hard Steve can hear him doing it. A song starts playing, and Eddie stomps over to a bewildered Steve. His nose is still scrunched up in frustration as he sits on Steve's thighs, his eyes ringed red from crying, and he captures Steve's face in his hands, clutching at it a little too hard, but Steve doesn't care about that, he's still relieved that Eddie didn't run away. Steve opens his mouth to apologise, but Eddie puts his finger against Steve's lips and forces him to look at the Hi-Fi. Steve doesn't know what's going on, so he just takes it as Eddie wants him to listen to the song, so he does.

I got to tell you what I'm feeling inside, 

I could lie to myself, but it's true.

There's no denying when I look in your eyes, 

Girl, I'm out of my head over you.

I lived so long believin' all love is blind

But everything about you is tellin' me this time

It's forever, 

this time I know, and there's no doubt in my mind

Forever, 

until my life is through, 

Girl, I'll be loving you forever

Steve feels Eddie's grip finally loose on his face, and he takes the opportunity to turn to look at him. Eddie is frantically looking at Steve for understanding. Steve's mind is a whirl, he doesn't know quite what to say, and he sees Eddie's shoulders sink in defeat as he hangs his head to start to turn away. Steve grabs Eddie's shoulder and lets the words fall out, without a quality control check, "I hear you. I mean, I heard you. What the guy is singing, right?" Steve sputters and hopes to God he's right that this wasn't a set of lyrics he's misinterpreted, but when Eddie's eyes meet his again, he's sure it's what they're saying, "You love me? Forever, right? Like he was singi-" Steve tries again, he probably should be more embarrassed about the desperation in his voice, but he isn't going to let this just pass him by. He wanted to be right so badly. However, the only answer he gets is Eddie diving in for a kiss, his tattooed arms thrown entirely around Steve's neck, and once the initial surprise is over, Steve wraps him up in his arms again, dipping him back into a deeper one. Steve takes the action as a yes, and his heart beats fiercely in his chest, afraid and eager simultaneously. His head swims with possibilities again. He loved this man so much, maybe too much and never enough all at once. He raises his knees and squeezes his arms to pull Eddie in as close as he possibly can. Physically wanting him to know that Steve would always keep him safe from harm of any kind. Forever. "I love you," Steve whispers against his mouth before kissing him again.

He hoists Eddie to his feet with him, leading him in a slow dance around the living room to the remainder of the song, with huge smiles on their faces. Steve holds him close, then twirls him around some until Eddie lets out a small laugh.

"I thought when you said you needed time, it would be longer than a couple of hours," Steve playfully teases Eddie, "But I suppose maybe something completely mind-blowing might have happened in those few hours to change that, maybe?" Steve mischievously tries to coax Eddie back out of his non-verbal state.

Eddie hits him on the upper arm with a light tap, "Again with this Ego", Eddie laughs, and Steve is relieved to hear him talk again. He’d never seen that happen to Eddie before, or at least he can’t ever recall that happening, but rather than dwell on it, Steve opts to continue easing Eddie back to normal. 

"You love it," Steve says with a wink as he gently sways him to the music.

Eddie pulls a face that looks like he wants to be annoyed but is too amused, "How I wish you were wrong about that, babe. I feel like I've roused up a monster from hibernation."

"A monster, huh? No one's called it that before," Steve says with a smirk.

Another arm tap, "That is not what I meant! And you know it!" Eddie laughs that light dusting of pink across his cheeks appears.

"Oh, how's it feel to have the tables turned on you, sweetheart?" Steve says in his best Eddie impersonation.

"Ok, now that's weird. Stop that immediately!" Eddie laughs and takes a deep breath looking into Steve's eyes, "I guess….I was confused because I didn't feel worthy. You said what you said, and I absolutely wanted to say it right back, but then I thought, Christ, maybe he's just all caught up in this, and he's not thinking about what I've done, you know? So I guess I didn't need time. I just needed courage, and then when I finally got the courage, I was so overwhelmed I couldn't even speak. Overwhelmed with good things, I mean. You're just so good to me." He says, leaning against him as Steve gently sways them around the room.

"Worthy? No, honey. If anything, you're the prize here. Smart, funny, beautiful, kind, and smoking fucking hot, by the way. Just ask our neighbours. Two of them would agree and might be plotting my assassination as we speak! Maybe more now?" Steve pouts out his bottom lip and shrugs.

"Ok, ok. We could fight this out all day. So let's call it even, shall we, Mr Most Eligible Divorcée? '' Eddie laughs.

"No way. Consider me Mr Most Ineligible, absolutely obsessed with his future husband," Steve smiles at his own joke. Half-joke. Not a joke at all.

"You know people are gonna think we're insane, right?" Eddie says against his chest, "We went on our first date Sunday night, it's now Wednesday, and we're moving in together."

"Let them!" Steve frowns as he protectively holds Eddie closer. "Let them think what they want. My whole existence has been doing things to fit into boxes, so I can get by in life. The few times I went off track, life was tough, but I made it. My little family made it in our own unusual way." He thinks for a second, "And, you know, maybe I'm tired of exhausting myself over what other people think when I'm often wrong about it. It's just that old mentality from my parents and their circles. I've been wrong about it twice today already. Monty loved ogling you in your underwear, and the one person I know who heard us earlier gave me a thumbs up. Maybe the only opinions that should matter are those of the people I love and those who actually make an effort to be in my life because they are the people I need. They keep me going every day." He presses his hand against Eddie's cheek and he looks at him. "Like that book said. The people that mind don't matter, and the people that matter don't mind. Even if they are right, and we are crazy," Steve smiles with a sigh. "So…just so I'm not running away with my own thoughts here, could you tell me what you wanna do regarding this," Steve gestures around them and then between them, "about us. Even if it's just like a brainstorming stage. I'm just very conscious I've been blabbing on for a while now" He laughs a little and guides Eddie back to the floor cushions, but this time they face one another cross-legged and hold hands.

Eddie beams at him, "Ok, well, I'm gonna try my best."

"Hey listen, you need to take a break or anything l, just say ok, or if you can't say, we'll get a signal like….um….I don't know….um… tap your bats. I'll always be able to see that, right? Or whatever you think is easiest."

"That sounds ok, sure" Eddie takes one pair of their held hands and taps them on his arm to check, "Yeah, that'll do for now" He smiles and takes a huge deep breath as if preparing himself to speak quickly "So, in case it wasn't abundantly clear. I am absolutely, totally, stupidly in love with you. I never want to leave you for longer than I have to. I wanna stay here with you. I want you to tour the country with me. I wanna be part of your family. I want all of you as part of mine." He smiles at Steve and laughs, "I want a lot of things…sorry…I must sound crazy. I feel crazy. This is crazy right?" His vast smile erupts with the most heavenly laugh Steve has ever heard as Eddie shakes them from side to side in excitement.

Steve squeezes Eddie's hands tightly in his own, "Maybe? I don't know. One person's crazy could be our normal, though, right? We could do all those things." Steve's eyes shoot down to Eddie's arm to see if he reaches for it, but he does not move their hands.

"Yeah, we could," Eddie says softly, with a sweet happy smile on his face, "We could definitely try" Steve's eyes move cautiously back up to Eddie's, and Steve nods in agreement. This. Is. Happening. He still can't quite believe it, and his brain quickly flicks back to that thought from earlier. Eddie pacing this living room, a babe in his arms, and he's singing, cooing, and then he looks up at Steve with that huge grin. Then it flicks to watching Eddie being walked down an aisle by Wayne. Then it's rolling over in his bed to a mass of curls, and he feels the tears prick his eyes but tries to blink them away quickly. He reaches forward, touches Eddie's bat tattoo with their joined hands, making Eddie laugh, and pulls him in for a hug. "Holy shit, Steve. This is wild." Eddie mutters into his hair as he holds Steve against his chest. "I think we should call someone. Make a royal proclamation," Eddie says grandly, flourishing his hand in the air. Clearly, overcoming an emotional blockage injects Eddie with pure fuel. What did the kids used to say? Something like he was revved up. Eddie gets to his feet, yanks Steve to the kitchen table, and starts looking at his cell phone. 

He taps the number into the conference telephone and puts his finger to his lips at Steve as the phone rings and a familiar voice rings out.

"STEVE?!! HOW THE DEVIL ARE YOU?" Dustin yells down the phone.

"No, it's not Steve," Eddie says seriously, hiding his silent laughter behind his hand.

"Whaaaaaat the fuuuuuck?" there is a little rustle over the line, which must be Dustin rechecking the caller's name on his phone, "Eddie?"

"Yes, it's me, you little shit," Eddie scolds, desperately trying not to laugh. "I notice you haven't even bothered asking how I am, not like your precious Harrington, huh?" Eddie pretends to be insulted.

"But wait…what the hell…hang on! Hang on! How are you calling me but my phone says Steve."

"Oh my god, it's like I don't even fucking exist. Steve, Steve, Steve. I don't know why your phone is being a dick. You know what, man. Forget it. I'll call you back when you've stopped daydreaming about Harrington. Urgh" Eddie ends the call and bursts out laughing. Steve looks wide-eyed at him. "Look, that kid cannot resist a mystery. He'll call back shortly, guaranteed!" And as the words leave his mouth, the conference phone rings. Eddie gestures for Steve to answer.

"Yello, Harrington residence!"

"Steve?"

"Henderson!! How are you?" Steve says enthusiastically, shrugging at Eddie, who is indicating with his hands for Steve to continue.

"Fine now, I think. The weirdest shit just happened," Dustin says, taking a breath.

"Can I go back to planning my campaign now? Or do I have to babysit your phone calls some more?" A familiar voice chides Dustin.

Steve and Eddie turn to one another with wide eyes and open mouths.

"Erica?!" Steve blurts out in surprise.

"I told you to keep your voice down! Now Steve knows everyone will know," Dustin complains.

"Oh, thanks a lot!" Steve huffs.

"What do you mean? Everyone already knows! Because my brother can't keep his stupid mouth shut, and you stupidly told him at Christmas after too much of Joyce's eggnog," Erica states 

"I'm not gonna keep us a secret from my best friend, your brother. That's just deceitful. I would never do that. It's family." Dustin raises his voice, and Steve can almost hear the hand gestures.

"You keep talking to me like that. You're gonna have something else to tell everyone when I leave you all alone by your nerdy ass self!" Erica snaps back

"Erica, no, come on. I didn't mean it like that." Steve hears Dustin's voice trail away from the phone. Eddie is leaning over the conference phone, staring at it, and desperately waiting for the next part of his real-life soap opera. "You know, I just get passionate about stuff sometimes, and I was freaking out because of the whole Eddie thing. I haven't heard from him in years. Come on, Sprinkles, I'm sorry, please!"

"Fine, but you're on thin ice, Dustin, thin goddamn ice! And you're taking me out for dinner in….twenty minutes as an apology, so finish up with Captain Hairspray" Eddie looks at a gobsmacked Steve and slaps his hands over his mouth to contain his giggles.

There is a scramble for the phone, "Ok, so you know that now" and a little awkward laugh from Dustin. "Hope you didn't mind, just something weird happened earlier. Anyway, how are things with you? How are the kids?"

"Oh, the kids are great, and I'm doing really great, too, actually," Steve says, flashing Eddie a knowing smile.

"Haha! No way!! I hear it in your voice, buddy! Seems like we're both doing great in that department, huh?" Dustin enthuses with a sweet laugh.

"Yeah, really great, they're around here somewhere if you wanna meet, well speak to them?"

"Oh my god, is it serious, Steve? Is it like big-time serious relationship stuff? Oh my god! Oh my fucking god!! Yes, I gotta meet them."

"Why are you cursing so loud? You want the neighbours to complain again, hmm?" Erica complains.

"No honey suckle, no. Steve's found someone. It's serious, isn't that great?"

"Ohhh, now it makes sense…wait, you don't get it do you? Seriously?! Oh my god, why am I even dating you? I know they call you a genius at work, but as far as I can see, you're still at least fifty per cent dumbass. But, Steve, I'm happy for you both, and you still owe me ice cream!"

"What do you mean? Wait, come back here. What do you mean I don't get it?!" Dustin calls after her.

"Eighteen  minutes, Dustin." She reminds him.

"Wow. Erica, huh? What happened to Suzie?"

"Yeah, that ran its course. We branched out into different scientific fields. And Erica…phew…well, she keeps me on my toes…let's say that. However, Steve, as you can hear, I've dug myself into the dog house here. I'll call you back later. It's great to speak to you. Love you, man."

"Um, love you too," and the line clicks off.

"Well, so much for that one. How about we call Wayne, huh?" Eddie asks.

"Yeah, let's see what the old timer is up to" Steve smiles, but something is swirling in his stomach. A nervousness.

Eddie taps in the number. 

"Yep?" A gruff voice answers.

Eddie widens his eyes at Steve and nods towards the speaker.

"Uh…hi…hello Mr Munson it's…"

"Sunshine?!" Wayne enthusiastically asks, and that's when Steve nearly falls apart entirely. He always had that rough texture to his voice, but the way his age has crept around it, adding wear and tear, makes him sound a little more frail than tough but still that tender Wayne Munson from 1986. Steve's hand reaches out and grabs onto Eddie’s shoulder.

"Yeah, it's me, Steve," He manages to reply with a massive smile, a rogue tear spilling from his eye because Wayne remembered him, and Eddie gives his hand a squeeze and a big reassuring smile.

"Everythin' ok, Sunny? It's not the boy is it?" He says, and Steve can hear him groan, getting out of his chair and reaching for his keys.

"No, I'm good, Uncle Wayne. We're good. Everything's ok" Eddie takes over, and Steve hears the keys hit a surface and a soft thud, which must be Wayne flopping back into his chair.

"Better than ok I'd wager if you're callin' me together?" There is another voice in the background, and then he hears Wayne yell back, "It's Eddie…yeah, he's fine…I'll ask him about those Broadway tickets, sugar, but I think they'll be all sold out."

"He thinks it's years ago. He thinks I'm still in New York," Eddie whispers to Steve.

"Sorry 'bout that. Jack doesn't like feelin' left out.  Anyhoo, were you callin' just to say Hi?"

"Well yeah, kinda, but er, I guess, this is as good a time as any…I've got intentions for your nephew, sir." Steve says, flashing a charming smile at Eddie, who shies away a little like he's blushing.

"Oh?" Wayne says in surprise.

"Yeah, I thought, as Eddie wanted to call, I may as well ask you now. Do I have your blessing?" A genuine nervousness descends onto Steve. Wayne was a nice guy, but Eddie was basically his son, and if he said no, that could be a huge problem.

Wayne cackles loudly down the phone, "Hoooo boy, you're gonna try an' make an honest man outta Eddie?" Wayne erupts with laughter again, "You have my blessing, sure, but also my deepest sympathy."

"Oooh, you old goat, I swear you're lucky I'm in such a good mood!" Eddie tries to be annoyed but ends up laughing anyway. 

"How long do I have to get a new suit?" Wayne chuckles

"Oh, the actual event won't be for some time, I imagine," Steve says with a laugh of pure relief.

"Just consider that and the paperwork formalities we'll address much later," Eddie adds.

"Well, sounds like you got it all covered. You boys are always welcome here, and your little 'uns Sunshine. Eddie said they're just like ya. Bet that makes you mighty proud," Steve chews on his bottom lip to stop bursting into tears. Eddie shifts his chair around, drapes an arm around him, and Steve’s hand smooths along his back and grips onto the back of Eddie’s neck, "Do they know?" Wayne asks.

Steve sniffs, "Oh yeah, they knew before us, I think. They've definitely had their say on the matter, very smart and maybe a little on the sassy side too."

"Just like their old man," Wayne chuckles, and that pushes Steve over the edge, and he can't hold the tears back anymore, and Eddie cradles him into his chest and strokes his hair.

"Ok, well, we're gonna go, but I'll call you tomorrow, maybe sort out a visit?" Eddie covers quickly.

"Really?! Well, that'd be great. I'd need to get the guest room sorted, so give me a few days' warnin'." Wayne says excitedly.

"Hey, don't get doing yourself a mischief over chores. I'll help you when I get there, and anything else, call the cleaner and send me the bill. Otherwise, I will arrange a regular carer for you too!" Eddie threatens, and Steve would probably laugh if he wasn’t crying so hard. The only thing Eddie could threaten Wayne with was someone employed to take care of him.

"Well, alright then", Wayne reluctantly grumbles. "It was great to hear from you, Steve, don't be a stranger, ya hear? I'll speak to you tomorrow, Eddie. Love ya both" Steve tightens his grip on Eddie like he can't hold him hard enough.

"Love you too," they reply in unison. Steve mostly speaks his goodbye into Eddie's shoulder. Eddie ensures the phone call has ended properly and then turns his attention to Steve. Rocking him gently and rubbing circles on his upper back.

"Hey now, shh, shh, it's ok. You're ok, babe. Everything's ok" Eddie soothes until Steve releases his grip leaving little pink finger marks on Eddie's skin.

"Ah, shit. Sorry. I tried to keep it together," Steve says, turning away from Eddie, wiping his eyes and tries to get out of his chair, but Eddie gently pushes him back down into it and stands up.

"Tell me what you need. I wanna do it. What were you gonna do?" He says with a sigh, his face in a slight frown.

"It's ok, I can do it. I'm just being over dramatic" Steve tries to laugh it off and tries to stand up again. Eddie repeats the same motion.

"I didn't say you couldn't do it. I said I wanted to do it for you. So water?" Eddie gestures at the sink, and Steve nods. "You want ice in it?" Eddie asks, moving towards the refrigerator, but Steve shakes his head in a no. Eddie brings him the glass and puts a coaster underneath it before placing it in front of Steve, his eyes moving over Steve quickly, looking for clues, "You wanna talk about it?"

"It's not a big deal. I'm just not used to people, well, older people being proud of me" He shrugs a little, and Eddie softly closes his eyes in understanding for a second."I know that's dumb. I'm my own man, a parent myself. It's just when I'd visit, and sure, I don't remember a lot, but I do remember he showed me love, and I didn't even have to do anything to get it. I didn't need to be a star athlete, or-or earn a stupid jacket, or get straight A's or know what college I wanted to go to, or be a Wall Street success. And that's not because Wayne didn't care about what I was gonna do. It's because he would care about me the same whether I got those things or not."

"You listen to me. Anyone who can't see what a great man and Dad you are is just plain fucking stupid, ok? You don't need them. You've got the rest of us." He shuffles closer to Steve, "It took me a long time to realise that myself, but I got lucky. I got Wayne. That doesn't mean it doesn't still hurt sometimes. Like, why wasn't I enough for them? But the truth is nothing would ever be good enough for them because they just projected their failings and insecurities onto us. We can't marionette-fix problems that aren't ours. We have no context or instructions for them. Deep down, they don't like themselves very much, and when they couldn't stand to see what they'd done, they left us to rot, but we didn't, babe. We thrived. Call us weeds or flowers. We bloomed in those harsh conditions. We made it. We're happy. They're still miserable somewhere" Steve nods in agreement.

"You're right. I know you are. It just still stings sometimes when someone who knew me for a blip makes me feel better about myself than he ever did, but he's still my Dad, you know. My Mom is just, I dunno, she tries, but ultimately they're a package deal." Steve wipes the tears from his eyes again.

"I know, honey. I know that. I just don't want you to think for a second that it's your fault. It's not. It never was. It was all him." Eddie reassures him. "Besides, I mean, now you're basically my husband. I have to officially share the old goat with you, right? But not just all the nice bits. You can have his tantrums at technology, too," Eddie says, reeling back in his chair, making Steve laugh and giving him a small genuine smile. Eddie leans forward again and looks straight into Steve's eyes. "Look, anytime you wanna talk about something, or like you just did, show me you need me, do it. I'm not great at always picking up on things. You, Morgan and Wayne, are the people I'm best at, but sometimes I still get it wrong. Sometimes I might miss things, but regardless, I'm gonna be right here. You don't need to apologise for getting upset. You're a human being, and you aren't on your own anymore, babe. Let me help. Tap my bats" He pulls Steve's hand to his arm.

Eddie kisses the back of each of his hands. He takes a deep breath. "I love you. You are mine, and I don't know if you remember how precious I can be about my stuff, man, but Wayne will tell ya, I don't play nice with people that mess with my prized possessions. Also, I've been watching violent movies since I was about five, and all the bullying makes me quite resilient to taking a punch, and I could probably talk a person into a coma. So I got all that covered, sweetheart. Not saying anyone else didn't do a good job at looking after you. I'm sure they did. But the fact remains they aren't gonna do as good a job as me."

Steve looks at the man opposite him, and maybe for the first time in his adult life, he trusts someone can take care of him. Perhaps he could let go sometimes, and Eddie could catch him. Hand trembling, he reaches over and taps Eddie's bat tattoo, and he feels a breath shudder out of him as he releases control, and Eddie gives a small smile. "Drink your water, sweetheart. I'll be right back." 

Eddie leaves him for a few minutes, but Steve notices he's humming, and the further away he gets, the louder he hums or sings. Steve can hear things moving around, the front door opening and closing, and usually, he'd jump to see what was happening, but he just leans back on the kitchen chair and lets it happen.

Eddie returns and rubs his shoulders gently, "Alright, sweetheart. You ready?" He asks softly, and once Steve nods, Eddie takes his hand and walks him into the living room. Steve looks around and gasps. 

The living room is in darkness, the blinds and curtains are all closed, and occasional slivers of light try to break through the gaps, but it is minimal and probably wouldn't be around for long. Steve can see the DVD menu for The Breakfast Club on the TV. Near the coffee table is a cooler of beers and sodas, a selection of snacks in bowls around the table, and some interesting-looking rolled cigarettes, which probably were not cigarettes at all, Steve guesses. Out of the sofa cushions, Eddie has constructed a high-walled nest over where they sat earlier. It's full of blankets and pillows from Eddie's RV. 

"Everything, ok? If you don't like anything, just say ok. Priority is making you feel better, not worse, by stressing you out, alright?" Eddie asks, placing his hand on Steve's lower back and guiding him around. 

"Yeah," Steve says quietly, looking into Eddie's soft sparkling eyes, "Perfect", he adds with a half-smile.

Steve goes to sit as they were earlier, and Eddie tuts, "No, nope. Scooch yourself forward there, honey." Steve does as asked and immediately finds himself draped in a soft, technicolour crochet blanket, and Eddie sits behind him, his legs on either side of him. He presses play on the movie. With the cushions stacked around them like sandbag walls, Steve feels like he sheds something, and though he feels vulnerable, he feels protected. He lets his whole weight fall back against Eddie, who immediately wraps his arms around him and kisses his temple.

Steve smiles to himself. He knows this place won’t last long. It was entirely too warm, but it felt so good.

"That's it, Sweetheart." Eddie runs one hand through Steve's hair and the other he keeps around his chest, pulling him close, keeping Steve completely enveloped. He should feel more on edge without his usual defences. His armour. The armour that is ready at a moment's notice because he's never without it. The set that helps keep everyone safe, but Steve has to shoulder the weight of it, and he's been wearing it for so long parts are so tough and rigid it can be uncomfortable. Causing unseen scars to wear their way into his very being. But Steve feels safe in this entirely different set of armour. It is soft and pliable, yet solid and sure. It has no weight and comes with no burden, and it fits him perfectly like it was made just for him. 

Because it was.

Because it's Eddie's love.

And sooner than he would like, he drifts off to sleep.

❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖

Sometime later, he's woken by the answering machine's loud click and whirling. Sitting up and rubbing his eyes, he turns to find a completely flaked-out Eddie against the sofa. Head slumped back and mouth wide open. He decides not to move too much in case he wakes him.

"Please leave your message after the tone."

BEEEEEEEP

Then Steve hears the most high-pitched scream, and Eddie jolts awake, bumping into the back of him but instinctively wrapping Steve in his arms.

"Wh- who the…wha was that?" He mutters as Steve is about to stand up when the scream stops, and a familiar voice is heard.

"Oh. My. God! I can't fucking believe it. Are you guys serious? Like for real, for real? We have to meet up, we have to now!! We should… yeah, we should throw a party…right? Oh my god. Oh my god. Incredible news." Dustin yells excitably.

Eddie checks his watch, "It's fucking 2 in the fucking AM!!" He says through gritted teeth, "Stay here, babe. I'll be right back," he says as softly as he can, gets up, stalks to the phone and picks up the handset this time. "Listen here, you little shrimp!" He starts angrily, then silence. Steve, groggy and with eyes barely open, can’t help but peek around the cushion fort. "Well….thank you," Eddie says with a sweet bashful modesty, "Alright….yes! I'm aware," he says defensively, "Yeah, actually," he lets out a giggle and twirls the handset cord around his fingers, a big grin on his face, "Of course, I do....No, Dustin….Yes, of course, we were….Wow, didn't need that mental image….Yeah, I will….Uh-huh sure, tell ‘em, oh wait, little Wheeler is connected to Big Boss Wheeler, hold on….BABE? CAN DUSTIN TELL THE OTHER LITTLE SHRIMPS, OR DO YOU WANNA TELL ANYONE YOURSELF” Eddie yells, poking his head out of the kitchen. Steve waves him to continue. “No, you’re good….Yeah, man, love you too," he says sweetly. Then he clicks his fingers, "Oh, hold up, dude, I forgot something. DON'T CALL THIS HOUSE AT TWO FUCKING AM OR ANY SINGLE-DIGIT AM EVER AGAIN UNLESS IT IS A GODDAMN EMERGENCY!! GOODNIGHT!" he yells in his gremlin voice, slamming down the phone, jogs back to Steve, and just stands there looking at him for a while.

Steve rubs his eyes with a yawn, "He was just excited, honey. That's all" Steve raises his arms towards Eddie and waves him back towards the enclosure of soft furnishings.

"You know, sweetheart, you being so soft on those kids is precisely why he thought he could call you at 2am to explain he finally figured out we were together,"  Eddie says fondly, stepping slowly towards Steve.

"You love him too. I heard you." Steve smiles sleepily.

"Oh, so if you love him, he can just get away with whatever. Is that what you're saying, sweetheart?" Eddie asks with a smile.

"No, he was just excited, you know." Steve sleepily waves him over again, but Eddie raises a finger.

"Be right there, babe," he says before disappearing. Steve snuggles back up in his blanket and decides to fully lie down. 

A few moments later, he hears rapidly quickening footsteps, and the cushion wall to one side of him explodes with a manically smiling Eddie. Thankfully the layer of cushions that fell on Steve first softened the landing of Eddie on top of him.

"Eddie! What the hell, man?" Steve says, looking up at the enormous crazy smile on Eddie's face as he fidgets until his legs pin down Steve’s arms, “What are you doing?” Steve laughs.

“Writing my memoirs, of course!” Eddie’s eyes flash with that crazy look. He cracks his knuckles and wiggles his fingers in the air before focusing intensely on Steve’s chest and starts tapping on it lightly with his fingers. “Dearest Reader,” Eddie begins wistfully before raising a hand to the side of Steve’s face. He gently strokes his cheek before administering a slight sharp tap to it. “DING!” He says daintily.

Steve laughs, rolling his eyes, “Ok, ok, I get it.”

“You are my typewriter. You don’t talk.” Another light tap to his face “DING!” Eddie grins. “Double line spacing, babe,” Eddie's fingers start tapping away again, “Today has been quite the rollercoaster, I must say, but never the less a pleasurable ride, for today my escort was non-other than The Hair!” Eddie taps Steve’s face again. “DING! Oh, you know what? I might make a little space here for an illustration….DING! DING! DING! DING! DING!” A rapid succession of light, playful taps to Steve’s face.

“I know what you're trying to do. I’m not going to get annoyed” Steve is suddenly a lot more awake and deliberately defiant, “This isn’t my first rodeo. I am a father of two, Eddie.”

Eddie puffs up his cheeks and scrunches his nose in annoyance. His eyes narrow as he looks at Steve. He licks his thumb and wipes it across Steve’s forehead, “Simbaaaaaaaa,” he says. The wet saliva in the cool night air that Steve cannot wipe from his face is kind of annoying, but he’s been through worse. He blinks confidently up at Eddie with a slight smile.

Eddie leans back a little, taps his chin thoughtfully, and seems to have a Eureka moment, “Ok, this is your last chance. Just admit that there are things that people you love can do that are simply unforgivable, Steve, and this doesn't have to happen” Sure of himself and a little mischievous to best Eddie, Steve shakes his head in a no. Eddie lets out a dramatic sigh, “Ok, I guess you’re right, and it is like two in the morning. You win, Steve,” and Eddie lies down flat on the cushions on Steve, releasing his arms. He rests his chin on the pillow on Steve’s chest, “Party pooper,” he pouts, and as Steve motions to console his sore loser boyfriend, quick as a flash, Eddie's hand goes to the side of Steve’s head. Suddenly Steve feels a slight pain, and Eddie cackles loudly, pulling his fingers into Steve’s eye line. In between his fingers is one grey hair. Steve loses all composure.

“Eddie! If you pluck those things out, two grow in their place!” Steve clutches at the side of his head, and Eddie springs to his feet quickly to get out of reach of Steve. “After what you just did, you think you can outrun me?” Steve huffs as he struggles out from underneath a pile of soft furnishings, but all it does is make Eddies smile wider, and his nostrils flare.

“I know I can outrun you!” he boasts.

“We’ll see about that, you little shit!” Steve says as he tears after Eddie at full speed. Eddie yelps and runs into the other reception room, creating a standoff around a small coffee table. Eddie laughs wildly and makes a beeline for a door to the garden, and Steve chases after him in the darkness, hot on his heels, but he’s always just out of arm's reach. Suddenly Eddie stumbles down the other side of the hill by the basketball court, and Steve’s heart is in his mouth with worry, but as the garden security light flashes on, he can see he’s back on his feet, and then suddenly something occurs to Steve. He stops a little way back from Eddie, “You won. I got annoyed. Why are we running?” Steve asks, catching his breath, almost laughing himself. Eddie shrugs, looking at the floor and then looks back up at Steve through his lashes and sways from side to side a little. “You wanted me to chase you, didn't you?” Steve realises and folds his arms whilst Eddie tries to put on his most innocent face.

“A jock got mad near me, so I ran. Sue me. Then I remembered he’s my angry jock.” Eddie says with his hands at the small of his back as he kicks at the floor, a small smile reappearing on his face. “And he’s pretty handsome, you know? Even if he will end up with two grey hairs tomorrow. I’ll still find him handsome. Well, probably,” Eddie adds mischievously, and Steve is already running at him. Another hilarious noise of panic leaves Eddie as he tries to make it back to the house, but Steve cuts him off, and he has to double back and go further around. Then, with an audible plink, the security light goes out, and the area is plunged into darkness again. Eddie rounds the corner, and Steve can see him illuminated by the pool lights but keeps to the shadows. Eddie stops and looks uncertainly around, “Steve?” He whispers, a little worried. Steve waits a few seconds, “Ok, very funny, Steve! You can come out now,” he says. Steve pauses for another second for Eddie to face him, then charges to tackle him, sending them both flying into the pool with an almighty splash.

Steve pulls Eddie to the surface, and he gasps for air, “There’s my little drowned rat, nerdy guy,” Steve laughs, “Gotcha!” he says, pulling Eddie close to him.

“Oh no!” Eddie puts the back of his hand to his head dramatically, “Whatever shall I do? I’ve been captured by a handsome man in his heated pool.”

“Well, you could start with an apology, maybe?” Steve suggests.

“Oh, that’s a shame. But, you know, I’m not very good at those.” Eddie smirks, looking into Steve’s eyes.

“No?” Steve says quietly, caught in the tractor beams of Eddie's obsidian-looking eyes in the darkness, only highlighted by the reflection of the pool lights. 

Eddie shakes his head in a no, and his hands come up from the water to capture Steve’s face. “I am, however, very good at kissing things better,” Eddie says, his gaze dropping to Steve’s mouth.

Steve chuckles lightly, “I don’t think that’s where you did the damage, babe.”

“You don’t think so? Maybe we could start there? A process of elimination, maybe?” Eddie raises an eyebrow.

“Whatever you say, Doc,” Steve mutters, wholly lost in his love, as Eddie drags him back under the water surface with a kiss.

[ushiwakaout]

You can’t tell me Ushijimas love affirmation is touch but he hates being touched at random.

THIS BIG GOOF OF A MAN need touch but hates asking for it and hates it as a surprise....

When you had first touched him, it might have been in middle school. You tapped in his shoulder and he jolted just a little, “Sorry, do you have a pencil i can borrow?” He raised a brow at you, “You came to school without a pencil?” You shook your head, “I write with pen but it’s math and i always mess up.... So do you have a pencil?” That was the first of many of your shoulder taps, it went for six months until Ushijima arrived by just setting a pencil on your desk before you walked in.

At the last year you had become really close friends and shared love for volleyball (although you only watched him play). It was around the time he was supposed to get out of practice that you heard a small commotion of boys outside the gym gathering around. No more than three boys who where in your class, surrounding Ushijima, calling him a left handed freak. You thought it was strange, “Hey! Leave him alone five-head!” You chucked your backpack at the boy who verbally attacked your best friend. “Just because he uses his left hand doesn’t mean hes a freak. You’re the freak because i caught you eating your buggers during lunch you fucktard!” The two boys beside the bully began to giggle like school girls, before he stomped away.

You heard a faint laugh coming from ushijima, which was very rare. “What’s a fucktard?” He asked curiously, which made you burst into a fit of laughter. You’ve never heard him swear before either. “I don’t know, it’s just the first thing that popped in my head... Let’s go home, i’m hungry.” That was the first time you held hands with Ushijima. 5:30 pm on a spring afternoon

In highschool you got more touchy. Platonically holding his hand or jumping on his back with the intention of surprising him but Tendo always gave it away with his eyes.

The ushijima fan club hated you. Tried keeping you away from him until their leader faced you one day during lunch. “Can’t you see that he clearly doesn’t want you? Why are you always trying so hard? He hates physical touch and yet here you are smothering your hands all over him! Don’t you get it, he’s never gonna date you and he doesn’t love you.” It was a little surprising to hear those words. “I don’t want to date Ushijima.” You told the girl, she gave you a rude confused look. “He isn’t looking for a relationship, he’s so focused of being the best volleyball player he can be... So why would i want to ruin that for him. If you didn’t know that, than you shouldn’t even be the fan club leader. Wakatoshi-kun is my best friend... i know he loves me. He would have told me otherwise... He’s too blunt to have kept me around for so long. Now if you’ll excuse me, I id like to eat my lunch, with my friends.” Little did you know that a few doors down, hiding away from you, Ushijima and Tendo where on their way to find you.

It was Autum at 1:10 pm when Ushijima had slowly come to realize that maybe what he felt for you was more than a friendship.

The day he lost to Karasuno, something had just been off about him. He sat alone with his thoughts. Tendo was no where around and his dorm was empty. A knock came to his done and he sighed, Tendo must have forgotten his keys again. To his surprise red hair didn’t face his eyesight but the white wall of the hall, until he looked down and you peered up at him. “Tendo sent me.” Of course he did. You blushed him aside and made him sit back down on his bed before shoving a goodie bag into his hands. “Eat.” You told him. He thought he was a man of few words. “Have you eaten?” He asked you, opening up the goodie bag. You nodded and sat beside him. He took out the black bowl container and looked inside, “This is-”

“Hayashi rice... I made it from scratch. You mentioned it a few years back while having dinner with my family. I hope it’s still you favorite.”

He rose a brow, a few years back. The last time he ate with your parents was 10 years ago. How did you remember such a small detail? “It is...Thank you.” You smiled at him. “Of course Toshi.” You watched his eyes twinkle when he took the first bite, since the game you knew he was a little off. Your hand rested on his shoulder and replaced it with your head. “Are you okay?” You asked him. He cleared his throat, “I’m alright... What about you?” His question was hesitant, as if he wasn’t about to ask but asked anyways. “I’m alright if you’re alright. But you do know I know you better than you know yourself right?” You tilded your head an examinares his face, “Unclench your jaw-” You had skimmed under his chin, cupping his perfect bone structure, “-and relax... You don’t need to be so tense. You’re not in front of the team right now, you’re in front of me.” Ushijima didn’t understand what you meant, did you believe you weren’t apart of his team? Of course you are. You’re the sole purpose this team has been kept together so perfectly , Shiratowizawas perfect, smart, incredible manager.

“Earth to Toshi? Where’s you’re head at big guy?” You gave him a small smile. He could clearly tell you where worried. “I’m alright y/n, you don’t need to worry about me.” You scoffed, “Bull. I’m always going to worry about you, even if we get old and wrinkly.” Ushijima let out a dry chuckle. “You think we’ll still be in touch by then?” He asked. He could feel your hand tense under his chin as you gave him a smile but this time, the look in your eyes was sad. “I hope so. You’re my best friend, i wouldn’t want it any other way Tosh.” He smiled back at you, “I wouldn’t want it any other way either.”

“Good, now tell me what’s on your mind.”

That night, when Ushijima spilled his emotions to you- You could feel your heart race just a little faster than it usually would and when he walked you back to your dorm and patted your head the way he usually would, you couldn’t look him in the eyes because i’d give away how utterly and endlessly in love you where with your best friend.

When graduation came along, tendo had snapped a picture of you and Wakatoshi together, the way he looked down at you as you looked at the camera with desploma in hand, excited to move in with your life. His hand was on the small of your back, something he got used to doing through the years, while your small hand tried reaching to his hip.

The small touch meant a lot to him. You where the first person in his life to accept his bluntness, to accept him for who he really was and we will forever be greatful for you.

When catching up with the former shiratowizawa team, much to their surprise you and ushijima where still not together, romantically that is, but the two of you lived in the same apartment, together... alone.... with no one to bother you. Semi nudge your waist, “So no progress been made?” He asked in a teasing manner. You wacked him with your table napkin. “Keep it down, no one needs to know.” Semi chuckled, “Trust me Y/n everyone knows but Ushijima.” You looked around at the team, they all nodded and agreed, luckly Tendo had taken Ushijima out for a private talk outside. You rolled your eyes and groaned. “Really? Is it that obvious?” They all nodded as Semi laughed at your dipair.

Once Ushijima and Tendo came back from catching up, the new wing spiker for Adlers could tell that you didn’t make eye contact with him through the whole night and the walk home was probably more awkward than ever before. “Goodnight...” You muttered, removing your shoes at the front door and rushing to your room, leaving Ushijima without a word. He raised a brow and slowly made his way to your room but a small sniffle stopped him from turning the door handle. How long had it been since you’ve been since he’s seen you cry. To be exact it was probably when you where kids... but that memory was fresh in his mind because he never liked the sight of seeing you cry. It made him feel... useless.

His hand hovered over the doorknob, contemplating if he should open the door and hold you, or give you some space. Ushijima shoved his hand back into his pocket, he wouldn’t intrude into your privacy like that. But through the night, Ushijima tossed and turned. Why have you been crying? Why didn’t you come in and ask him to give you a hug the way you did back in highschool. He turned one more time before rubbing his eyes and sitting up on the edge, maybe a drink of water could help. He looked at his phone.

2:00 am

He sighed and placed it face down again on his desk before swinging his door open.

The harsh swing of the door scared you as your hand was ready to knock on the wood. He looked down at you and noticed the red discoloration that hid under your eyes while some moonlight shined on you through the window that sat on the end of the hall. Your eyes where wide and shock but your body turned around, and back into your room. Ushijima has never seen you move so quick before. “Y/n.” He called, putting his foot in between the door and the door frame. Even if you moved your fastest, ushijima was always two steps behind ready to catch up. You sighed and looked down at your feet before letting go of the door. “Sorry... you scared me.”

He scared you? That was new.

He looked down at your fingers, which twisted and twirled between each other. “Why are you awake?” You asked him. “I couldn’t sleep.” He answered truthfully. “Oh... yeah- um, me either.”

“Why where you crying?” Ushijima was as blunt as ever, which made you nerveous. “I wasn’t crying, w-who told you I was crying?” You where terrible at lying.

Ushijimas hand cupped your cheek as his thumb carressed so closely to your lower lashes. “You’re eyes are swollen, you’re more is pink... You’re voice is a little groggy... You may know me better than I know myself but i have a few tricks up my sleeve as well.”

“I’m fine Wakatoshi-” To mentally scolded yourself, calling him by his full name was such a dead giveaway. “You only call me Wakatoshi or Ushijima when i’ve done something wrong.... Have i done something wrong?”

You sighed... Maybe tonight would be the night. “No. You haven’t done anything- that, that’s actually the problem.” Ushijima rose a brow. “I don’t quite understand...” Hs stated, of course he didn’t. As much as he was blunt, you had to be blunt back or it would get through that giant head of his. “Toshi- can we do this tomorrow- please.”

“No.”

“I-”

“I’d like to know what you mean, y/n.”

You’re full name... How it sounded so good coming out of his lips instead of others. You sighed and looked down at your feed before fiddling with your fingers.

“idontknowwhenitstartedbutithinkitstartedinhighschoolbutitdoesntreallymatterbecause.... iminlovewithyou.”

Ushijima grabbed cupped your chin and lifted your head, “Look me in the eyes-” you where quick to follow his command, “-and say to me again.” You couldn’t tell of it was the tears brimming in your eyes or a blush slowly crept on Ushijimas cheeks. “Tell me you love me again.” Both hands cupped your face as you have him a light laugh, causing tears to roll down your face. “I’m in love with you...” Ushijima gave you a soft smile when you kissed the palm of his hand. “I am so, endlessly, hopelessly, in love with you.” You repeated looking him in the eyes. “And i wouldn’t have it any other way.”

This is something Ushijima thought he’d never get to experience. Being a hopeless romantic, and for his best friend none the less. You raised yourself on the tips of your toes, wrapping your arms around his neck before pulling him down for a kiss that had been long awaited.

The next morning, when the sun shined through the curtains of your room- you could feel the soft cool breeze that came through the open window you forgot to close. You clenched your hand lightly against soft skin that you could already recognize. Ushijima laid beside you in deep sleep, a white sheet barely covering what kept you so wide awake last night. You snuggled back onto his bare chest and took in his scent, something you had come to not be able to live without.

The way his hands roamed around your body last night was a large progress from the first day you met.

You poked his shoulder, which seemed to be enough to wake him. “Mmm, good morning.” His voice was much deeper than usual, it brought shivers down your spine. “Good morning...” He wrapped his hand around you again and caressed your naked skin as his nose was deep in your hair. “How’d you sleep?” He asked you, his fingers teasing around your waist. “I uh- I slept very well.”

“Tired?” He asked, plating a kiss on the crown of your head before you nodded. “A little...”

“Sore?” You slapped his arm lightly, causing him to let out a laugh. “I’ll take that as a yes...”

“Stop it!” You whined, now hiding under your covers. “You didn’t seem to mind last night sweetheart... I would have slowed down if you did.” You’re blush grew deeper. “You’re so embarrassing.” You whine again, as ushijima pulls the sheet away from your face to pinch your chin with his thumb and pointer finger. He gave you a smile, “Would you want it to me some other way?” You eyes twinkled a little, before muttering, “No... I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

a/n: IM SO FUCKINGNIN LOVE WITH HIMS FUCK FUCK FUCK

[honeypirate]

His First Kiss

Shouji Mezou x Fem!Reader

Last year of UA

Inspired by my love for this multi-armed boy and the fact that I once fell down in the snow like eight times in one afternoon.

Unedited

ʕ•ᴥ•ʔʕ•ᴥ•ʔʕ•ᴥ•ʔʕ•ᴥ•ʔʕ•ᴥ•ʔʕ•ᴥ•ʔʕ•ᴥ•ʔʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

You were walking from the dorms to the school when your foot slipped in the ice, sending you to your knees. Your tights were ripped but you didnt really care, you were notorious for falling down in the ice and snow and you didnt really mind. You picked yourself back up and dusted off your knees, the wet ice in your tights making your shiver before you finished your walk to the school. Unaware of the eyes on you who were worried until they saw you get up with a smile and continue your walk.

You were running a little late to training, had an issue with your new hero suit you got and ended up taking a while to get it figured out. You were sprinting from the school to training ground beta when you slipped again in the melting snow on the hill you tried to run down. You ended up sliding on your butt all the way to the bottom, laughing the whole way. The same boy caught that fall too, smiling under his mask at the cute sound of your laugh. After training you convince the other girls to sled down the hill on your butts or feet, laughing when Kirishima, Kaminari, and Deku joined you, leading to an impromptu snowball fight, his covered cheeks blushing when you used him to hide from everyone else, his other arms automatically moving to keep you inconspicuous as you waited for Mina to turn before you popped out and shoved a snowball down the back of her shirt. Screaming laughing you grabbed his hand and took off running away from Mina.

After your fun in the snow, your fingers and lips were blue, you felt the cold in your bones and knew you wouldn’t warm up until the next day. He walked next to you as you all walked back to the school, thinking that your red nose and cheeks were so adorable.

After a really hot shower in the school girls locker room you tuck your wet hair under your beanie so it won't freeze when you go outside again. You want to head to the convenience store by the school and already got approval to do so by Aizawa on the condition you go with another student who also asked to go, Shouji.

You were looking up at the clouds because they started to dump out more snow so you didn't notice when you were in the same place you slipped earlier, this time your foot hits the ice and you fall in slow motion, down to your back, catching yourself on your elbows. You chuckle and then sigh, just accepting your fate and deciding to watch the snow fall for a few more moments. The same boy looking out his bedroom window when he saw you fall again, in the same place. He would have gone down if you hadn’t gotten up laughing, he was so curious about you.

You change into a pair of black skinny jeans and a black long sleeve shirt, you make a mental note to pick up a sweatshirt at the store so you wouldn't have to wear your bulky coat anymore, before slipping on your vans. You empty your backpack and put your wallet inside before putting it over your shoulders again, before heading down stairs to wait from Shouji.

“Ready?” he asks and you beam up at the large man, you would be lying if you said you weren’t looking forward to this, he was your crush after all. “Ready!” he nods and opens the door for you, not even realizing you weren't wearing something warmer.

You made it to the store with no incidents, easy conversation flowing between you both. “Do you want to shop together or meet up in 30 minutes? Personally, I would like to shop together. But it’s up to you Shouji” you say as you grab a basket, his cheeks flushing under his mask “together” he says and you smile up at him again, a smile that makes his heart skip.

“What’s your favorite kind of breakfast?” you ask as you turn down the cereal aisle. “My mom used to make very traditional breakfasts growing up but i’m really fond of trix cereal or oatmeal” he says and you chuckle “I like to add egg whites to my oatmeal and flax seed, it’s actually” you huff as you try and reach for your favorite cereal, one that you just snack on and keep in your room, but you couldn't reach the last box in the very back, Shouji smiles at your cute attempt, it looked like you were trying to force your arms to lengthen. “Actually pretty good, with a little maple syrup and almond milk, delicious” he walks over to you and reaches up, easily grabbing the box “maybe you could make me some one day” he says, avoiding your eyes shyly.

“Thank you” you say and place your hand on his closest arm “name the morning Shouji and it’s a date” you smile and his heart flips. His arm was incredibly warm under your touch, warming your fingers through his hoodie. He frowns under his mask when you drop your hand and continue walking down the aisle. “Tomorrow?” he asks and you grin, grabbing a can of oats, “tomorrow it is”

You place your bags in your backpack, putting his in there as well before he can object as he’s paying, when he notices your bag is already on your back again, a smile and blushing cheeks meeting his questioning eyes as he notices his bags are gone. You're halfway back to the school when you realize you forgot a hoodie, your skin finally feeling too cold to handle but it was too late now. You talked a little slower and more controlled so he wouldn't notice your teeth chattering.

You enter the schools gates laughing at one of his stories about kaminari when your foot slips on ice again, the semi melted snow from the morning now frozen under the fresher snow from the day. You almost think you’re done for until his arms are around you, holding you steady. “What is this, the fourth time today?” your cheeks flush “sixth actually” you admit and he shakes his head with a laugh. “I only saw three” he says and you feel your stomach drop in embarrassment. “Sorry you had to witness my clutzyness” he laughs “i admire how you can pop back up with a smile after falling so many times” you shrug in the embrace of four of his arms “most of life isn’t a big deal, it doesn't stop my happiness” you look up into his eyes, your (e/c) ones shining in the twilight of the sunset behind clouds, he’d kiss you if he could.

As you begin to pull away you shiver in his embrace, your teeth chattering as it happens. That’s when he notices you only have on one layer, the cold that was still in your bones from that afternoon seeping into his fingertips from you. “You’re freezing, why aren't you wearing a coat?” he asks and you chuckle “I meant to buy a hoodie today but I forgot. I don't like how bulky my coat is” his arms fall away from you and he swiftly pulls his six armed hoodie off and hands it to you.

“Are you sure?” you ask and he nods, readjusting his mask. You hand him your backpack and he puts it over one of his shoulders. You slip on his tan hoodie and smile as your head pops through. The smell of musk and bergamot fills your nose as you bury it in the neck, you put your arms through the top arm holes and then you shove the other four sleeves inside the hoodie before you look up meeting his eyes. “Thank you Shouji” you whisper, the sound of snow hitting the ground faintly is barely heard over the sound of your beating heart in your ears.

Shouji knew giving it to you was the right decision but a tiny part of him regrets it because now he knows just how gorgeous you looked in his clothes. “You smell amazing by the way” you say as you start walking again. He doesnt know what to say back, his mind blank, head empty other than the fact that you think he! smells! Good! “It’s 1 million lucky” he says in a panic, thinking he was taking too long to respond so he just said the first thing he thought, which was the name of his cologne. “has it brought you any luck?” you ask and he looks over at you, your eyes on the ground in front of you so you don't slip. “Yes. it has” you look over and meet his eye “1 million?” you ask with an amused smirk “at least 1 million, if not more” you laugh “That’s good. I think it’s working for me too. I feel really lucky tonight” you turn your attention back to the sidewalk again, not noticing yourself stray further from your path and closer to him until the back of your fingers brush the backs of his. Your cheeks flush as you move your hand, but decide not to move away from him.

He overthought way too much for his own good, he wanted to grab your hand and hold it but you couldn't find the guts. When you get back to the dorms he opens the door for you again and you smile warmly up at him as you brush past him. You help each other put away your snacks in your cupboards, you shove your cereal back in your backpack. “Do you want some tea?” he asks and you nod “so much yes” he chuckles “go sit on one of the couches and i’ll make us some.

You sit in the middle and pull your feet up, sliding the hoodie around your legs as well as you lean your head back, staring at the ceiling as you wait. Smiling at how nice your evening has been you realize that even the dorms lounge was empty, you couldn't doubt the power of the 1 million lucky cologne.

He hands you a cup of tea and then sits beside you on your left. “Thank you Shouji, this is just what i needed” you take a sip and then just sit with your knees pulled up and your tea warming your hands. You turn your body after a moment to face him more “feel free to not answer this if it’s too personal” you say as you watch one of his hand mouths sip his tea “do you ever eat, drink, whatever, with your mouth mouth?” you say and to make sure he knew what you meant you run your thumb across the edge of his mask against his cheek.

“Sometimes when i’m alone in my room. It’s just a habit by now to not” you nod and then take another sip, the hot liquid warming your tummy. “How about kissing?” you ask and he chuckles, not a new question to him “I uh, I don't know actually. Never had a girl who wanted to kiss me” he says confidentently, not really minding the fact. “No kissing your hand mouth or over the mask or under? That's so shocking to me” he turns his body towards you, his arms coming up to rest against the back of the couch next to you “why is that shocking?” he asks and you smile, looking down into your half empty mug with a blush rising up your neck “because” you whisper and he cocks his head “because?” you finish your tea in once swallow and then set the mug on the side table before you meet his eyes again “because Shouji, you are incredibly handsome, intelligent, strong, kind. I can’t understand how there hasn't been someone you want to kiss” he chuckles, setting his cup next to yours “I said I never had a girl who wanted to kiss me. Not that Inhaven't wanted to kiss a girl” he looks at you so pointedly you feel like he means you “i’m a girl though” you whisper and he cocks his head “and you want to kiss me?” he whispers back and instead of answering you lean slowly forward, pressing your lips to his cloth covered cheek.

He cups your cheek with one of his hands and presses his forehead to yours, you sigh and lean more into him, a smile on your lips and your eyes closed. “Do you promise to keep your eyes closed?” he whispers, his voice a little trembly, “pinky promise and cross my heart” you raise your hand, pinky out and he chuckles, locking his pinky with yours and shaking once. He pulls back and you keep your eyes closed, he can't help but admire how beautiful you are, cheeks flushed and messy hair while you wear his giant hoodie. Slowly he hooks his fingers in his mask, pulling it down to his neck.

You feel sets of his arms move around to hold you, pulling you closer as two of his hands cup your cheeks softly. He watches your smile grow when you feel his breath fan over your face. He leans down and presses his lips to yours, when he pulls back after half a second you frown “again” you say and he laughs “anything for you, love” he whispers, a hair breadth away from touching your lips, sending warm tingles down your spine. He kisses you again and you move, keeping your eyes closed and your lips on his as you reach out, gripping his strong shoulders as you put your leg over his and scoot so you could straddle him.

Four hands rest on your back as two stay on your neck. His lips were soft and plush and his body was warm as he held you to his chest, your lips moving together. His tongue touches your lips and you gasp softly before grinning and letting his tongue enter your mouth at a weird pace. You pull back, keeping your eyes closed and you say “slower, like this” your lips meet again and he lets your tongue in is mouth, slowly moving around his, massaging and twisting your tongue with his in the right ways, your hands buried in his hair as he mons into your mouth.

You bite his bottom lip and pull back, laying your head on his shoulder, snuggling into his neck and lifting the fabric of his mask to press kisses against his soft skin. He hums deep down in his chest as you nip at his pulse point. “Shouji, can I leave a mark?” you ask, your breathing still ragged. He moans out a quiet “yes” breathy as he pants, his heart racing under your lips as you suck on his skin. After a few moments you pull back and kiss his neck over your mark, you feel your way with kisses to make your way back to his lips, kissing him softly before pulling his mask back up, with his help, before you open your eyes and look down at him.

“Shouji” you whisper with a smile, still breathing a little heavily, one of his hands was tangled in your hair still, a few of the sleeves of his hoodie have gone right side out again, you run your hands down his strong chest as you look into his eyes. His pupils were blown and his eyes were shining, the cold in your body forgotten about now that you were warm, his eyes never leaving yours.

He reaches up and tucks your hair behind your ear when it falls into your face. “I’ve had a crush on you since you first walked into class second year. You said ‘i’m y/n l/n and my superpower is knowing the right music to play for any occasion as well as a strength quirk’ you were so captivating. You still are. So beautiful and kind. I keep meaning to ask you to make me a playlist” you laugh and cup his cheek “i can't believe you remember that, it feels like so long ago” he chuckles and you feel the vibrations in your palm on his chest “Mezou” you whisper and watch his eyes brighten, making the butterflies in your stomach triple as you beam at him “I have had a crush on you since the same day, when you let me sit next to you at lunch. You’re so kind and selfless, so gentle. you are ready and willing to risk your life to save anyone no matter what. I’m always so impressed and proud of the hero you’re becoming. And you see me! There are so many loudmouths in our school but you’re always there, never wavering, making me feel important”

He cups your face, thumb brushing against your cheekbone “you are the most important to me. We’ve been friends for years but never close and I feel like I’m to blame for that. I was afraid you’d be scared of me and I didn’t want to ever confirm that fear” you cup both of his cheeks now and smile warmly at him “you could never scare me” he laughs once “you say that now, but you haven’t seen me. I started wearing this mask because in my village they have prejudices against quirks that alter appearances. I scared a little girl and it made me realize I don’t want to scare anyone” you lean forward and kiss his forehead gently “I can’t imagine how that must have made you feel. But I’m telling you with no doubt in my heart, you’ll never scare me. No matter what you look like under your mask. No matter what happens to you.” You lean down and hug yourself to him, “your strong arms around me, make me feel safe. Comfortable. Kissing you, made me feel warm, made my heart race, made me so happy” you lean back up and smile again at him “so whenever you’re comfortable enough with me, whenever you’re ready, I’ll be here.”

His eyes look misty, his hands on your back were tense, his heartbeat was racing under your palms on his chest. “You’re amazing” he whispers “I can’t say how much that truly means to me” you kiss his forehead softly again, you would have kissed his lips if not for his mask up. “Can I kiss you again?” He whispers and then clears his throat, his eyebrows furrowed “yes please” you say and close your eyes, reaching up and pulling his mask down gently as his hands bury in your hair again and cup your cheeks to guide your lips to his own.

After talking for hours you end up falling asleep together on the couch, his warm arms surround you and holding you in place against his side and chest. You woke up to the sound of stomping above you, Bakugou had woken up and he was a heavy walker. You look up at the man who’s arms you were in and smile, he was still asleep and his face was so soft and adorable, his hair was a mess and his mask was askew, showing the hickey you made last night. You chuckle and brush your fingers over the mark. “Mezou” you whisper and watch as his eyes scrunch before he takes a huge deep breath and his eyes flutter open and look at you, his sweet beautiful girl looking up into his eyes, his heart melted.

“Good morning handsome” you say and he chuckles “good morning sweetheart” he says back, his voice still coated with sleep, it was deep and husky and gave you goosebumps. “We should get up before someone finds us here” he groans and holds you tighter “let them find us” you laugh and kiss his chest “we have class too” he groans again and then releases you “you’re right” you stand together and he doesn’t let go of your hand until you get to your door where he pulls you into a hug. “So are we? Uh are you?... uhm” He's flustered, unsure if you’re together, if he has to clarify that he wants to be with you, or if you don’t want to be with him, you chuckle and look up at him “Mezou, do you want to be together?” He nods and you beam up at him “good! Me too! So now that that’s taken care of.. walk me to class?” He laughs and nods again “of course, I’ll come back when I’m ready” he presses his mask covered lips to your forehead and you blush “okay. Sounds perfect” you whisper, you keep a hold of his hand until he’s at the end of his arm length, your fingers holding you together until you reluctantly relax the tips of your fingers and let your hand fall down to your side as he chuckles softly, winking at you before you close the door of your room. Sighing in happiness and taking a moment to think about last night, before hurrying and getting ready for your day, not even remembering you were supposed to make him breakfast until you were sitting next to him at lunch.

[the-fiction-witch]

NSFW 100 Benny Watts

1. What's the dirtiest thought you've ever had about a total stranger? I don't know, I don't think about strangers all that often I'm usually busy, I think the worst would just be when I kinda get the thought In my head of, Hu. I'd fuck that.

2. Do you prefer sex at night, in the morning, mid-afternoon, or NOW? At night, when the work is done fkr the day, dinners done, and we can go to bed and fuck for a while and go right to sleep after, that's a good evening.

3. What's your favourite way to be seduced? I think we both know it's when people play with my hair, I don't know why, the come here eyes don't do anything, hinting doesn't do anything, you start playing with my hair I'm literally hard in my pants within seconds.

4. What's the dirtiest fantasy you've had at work? That's a good question. Probably just fantasying about beating my aponent and then taking them back to the hotel room and raw fucking them bent over the table, or likewise them beating me and taking me back to the room and riding on my dick for several hours. Either is good.

5. How would you dominate your boss sexually if given the chance? I am my own boss I guess. But if we are saying the people I play against are co workers then yes. Yes I would.

6. What do you do when you get horny in public? It depends why I'm horny. If I'm horny for an actual reason then I'll have to go see who it was causing it, but if it's just like a random everyday boner then no I ignore it, people can't see it though my jeans, can they? If they can great the can look at my dick and be jealous.

7. Have you ever masturbated in a public bathroom? No. I don't masturbate a whole lot and never in public mostly because... Have you seen male public bathrooms? That shit is gross!

8. What's the weirdest thing you've thought about while touching yourself? Chess. Whenever I do actually masturbate it's usually at night, when I'm alone, my works done and I can't get to sleep so I yeah I mess around a little usually while going over chess games in my head, I don't need to imagine anything when I do it I just do it, the touching on its own gets me horny enough, so my head just does it own thing and I usually just think about chess plays.

9. What's the strangest prop you've used to get yourself off? Well pillows. I think that's it pillows and my hand. Or Beth harmon, I'm kidding Beth's great.

10. Do you remember the first time you felt aroused? No I don't. I don't think I ever like had a moment of Hu Im aroused, it just started happening and eventually I noticed to be fair I have been in a constant mood of I wanna fuck things since I was like fourteen. Not sure why? Maybe I'm just really horny and refuse to deal with it?

11. Who gave you your first orgasm? Now that depends because I did it alot in my sleep when I was younger, but the first actual time when I was fully awake and aware what I was doing it was probably Ali, a girl who used to work up at the bar down the street from my apartment, I was having a drink after a championship one or the few times I'd been in there even if the first few times I was underage, and we got talking about this and that and... We went to the bathrooms together, I miss ali, not for the sex but she was always so nice to me. Still I have a better girl now.

12. Do you remember what that first orgasm felt like? Fucking amazing! And now... Now I have a problem because now I wanna do it all the time.

13. Have you ever had sex with someone whose name you never knew? A few times, hotels after championships, airports and the like, I've picked up the odd girl or too I didn't know but it's fine. I think I picked up someone's wife at a competition once?

14. What's your favourite thing about a quickie? How simple it is. With a quickie both people involved know what this is, we both just wanna fuck and get our release so it's very much a simple understanding, sometimes you have sex with people and they assume that means you give a shit? It doesn't we fucked doesn't mean I like you, it means I was horny, you where horny and now it's over.

15. What the most sexually daring thing you've ever done? Airplane sex! That was intense because those bathrooms are not sound proof in the slightest, you have to be dead silent or everyone can hear you fucking your girlfriend.

16. Have you ever fantasized about fucking one of your teachers? Maybe... when I was a lot younger

17. Do you ever mentally strip strangers just for kicks? Sometimes depends on the stranger, but more often people I know, like people I've had sex with before or you know my girlfriend, but to be fair I'm never not mentally undressing y/n?

18. And then imagine, in dirty detail, what it would be like to fuck them? Sometimes, again much more likely people I know and alot less now I have y/n, before her yeah pretty much everyone but now I'll strip some people in my head every so often but only imagine y/n.

19. Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex? Yeah, many times, towens is a great kisser, also gives amazing blow jobs.

20. What inspires you to make the first move? Ask them! Literally I do not get all the hinting and the cute eyes and shit just.mm you want to fuck me just ask me to have sex! It's just that simple. Why does it need to be complicated.

21. In your opinion, what does it mean to be good in bed? Making it good for you but also for your partner people forget about that sometimes you not just in it for you they want some too don't be a ick and just get yourself off, you have to make it good for them too, that and consent is important, not just to start the sex but also during, you don't know if she likes spanking, you don't know of she wants like her hair pulled or her boobs felt ext. Ask don't just do it.

22. Have you ever cheated on a boyfriend or girlfriend because you just couldn't help yourself? .... Yes. But it was always in relationships that weren't all that serious, or where fairly open anyway, I cheated on beth do I care? No! Because she fucked harry so I kinda think that's fair? It's only in that kinda situation but if I hadn't I would have my sweet y/n, and I'll never cheat on her.

23. Have you ever pushed the boundaries of fidelity to the brink and then retreated just for the rush? No.. that just seems weird.

24. Do you have a go-to masturbation fantasy?

I do not have a go to fantasy, except maybe my little kitten snuggling up with me

25. What kind of porn turns you on?

Not a lot really, because porn isn't... that great at the moment I do not have time do go to like the weird little theatre's that play them, the best bet really is things like hustler and various magazines you can pick up in newsagents... which I admit I am partial too having a flip though sometimes.

26. Have you ever had sex with your eyes closed?

No always open

27. Have you ever blindfolded or handcuffed your partner?

Many times yes, But I have found I much rather be handcuffed, I like when y/n handcuffs me to our bed, I like blindfolding her though, maybe handcuffing her too.

28. Does naughty talk get you aroused?

Sometimes, depends what's said

29. Are you sure about that, my dirty little forest nymph of a sex god?

Yeah? How about we go handcuff you to our bed sugar and see how much whispering in your ear you can take before your dripping for me?

30. What's the dirtiest thing someone's ever said to you during sex?

"Benny, I want you to fuck me Hard! and when we're done don't pull out I want us to fall asleep with you inside me so tomorrow we can fuck again without you ever leaving me, so You can be inside me all night long"

Yeah... that was hot. to be fair I did eat her out and edge her for like half an hour so, I don't blame my kitten for going a little cock crazy.

31. Have you ever watched another couple get it on without them knowing?

Once. Okay if you have sex by a pool you have to accept there might be people in here hotel rooms who overlook the pool who can see you!

32. Have you ever watched another couple have sex with their permission?

Does three ways count? because for some of that I was watching Beth and Clio have sex so...  yes?

33. How would you respond if a couple approached you to be their "third"?

Depends who it was? Towens and his boyfriend? yes! Beth and Clio? Yes! Beth and Jolene? Yes! Harry and Beth... Eh I'd think about it? But I guess nowadays We'd be the dirty couple asking for a third? won't we kitten?

34. What's the most flattering thing someone's said about your naked body?

"so Perfect I wish I could have you inside me forever"

35. When's the last time you had a vivid sex dream?

I do not

36. What do you think an orgy would be like?

Ummm very very fun. Would you like that kitten? a nice hotel room? all our chess friends? and getting everyone to have a nice orgy? Well I'd be happy to it would be fun, but... you know I don't share kitten.

37. Have you ever propositioned a total stranger?

Yes many times

38. What does your ideal one-night stand look like?

Uhh maybe a drink, some good sex and then get up in the morning maybe a little spooning, maybe round two if they want to, cup of coffee then fuck off out my house I got shit to do.

39. How long does it take you to get yourself off, on average?

Myself? Uhh About ten minuets? with y/n well usual a good half hour but sometimes my little kitten's mean to me

40. What's the weirdest thing that turns you on?

Hair. Playing with my hair. I don't get why I  get hard for it but I do? and... when y/n sticks her tounge out again no clue why just whenever I see her do it it means she being a little brat. Or if she does it unintentionally I can't help looking at it thinking how dirty that tounge of her's has been...

41. Have you ever had a naughty dream about a close friend or family member?

No!

42. Have you ever woken up humping your pillow?

Not woke up humping it. I have been spooning it a lot, and been humping it the previous night but no never woke up humping it

43. When's the last time you orgasmed in your sleep?

Ohh god years ago, I don't do that anymore, well I did actually not so long ago but that wasn't me that was my kitten who was too impatient for me to wake up

44. What's the most embarrassing thing that's happened to you while hooking up?

Moaning the wrong name... yeah I did not live that down. I'm sorry towens! you look a lot like harry from the back, you two have similar hair... and similar asses.

45. Do you like touching yourself in front of the people you sleep with?

Many many times! y/n likes to watch me, but she always strips for me or touches herself too so I've got something nice to watch

46. What's the dirtiest text you've ever sent or received?

Y/n sent me some polaroid's of herself in a park, in a sundress and... nothing else, and I mean nothing, Yellow sundress, striped thigh high socks and nothing... no bra, no panties, fuck I'm getting hard just thinking about those pictures.

I think it was then I really did realize, yeah I love this girl, and I'm going to marry her!

47. Do you prefer professional or amateur porn?

Both are good, they have there draw backs but more likely amateur because I like my kitten.

48. What's your favourite blowjob technique?

Tounge! Need I repeat my weird like of tounges but... when she's licking and swirling it around fuck! I get loud! and god it makes me cum quick.

49. If you had to pick, would you be a dominatrix or a submissive?

Noooo! don't make a me choose!

But I love when my kitten handcuffs me and rides me till she's satisfied!

and I also love bending her over the table and ordering her to cum!

I can't choose! there both soo good...

I guess if I had to. Dominate but only because It's slightly more options of stuff to do and because I like calling her kitten.  

50. Is there anything you won't do in bed?

anything with like piss and shit can fuck right off I don't know how anyone is into that! but anything else in the world my kitten want's she can have it just not that.

51. What's your dirtiest sexual fantasy?

Its kinda something I really really want but also really don't want, I like the idea of it but it would be horrible. I kinda have a fantasy about Y/n, inviting some... friends over, and letting them all... have there fun with me? literally like tie me to the bed, y/n, beth, clio, jolene, really anyone else towen's too if he's down, just everyone can just use me as a literally cock slave and I would be so fucking happy I would let everyone fuck me!

But that would not go well, I can't stay hard that long, and the girls would fight, and... it wouldn't be good.

so other then that... Ummmm I wanna take y/n to central park! in that sundress.. see how long we can last before I bend her over and fuck my little kitten.

52. How many people have you slept with?

I have stopped counting.

53. Where's the weirdest place you've had sex?

A Plane bathroom? bar bathroom? that time we did it in a pool? I don't know I've had sex lots of weird places?

54. What's your favourite part of Y/n's body?

Her tounge she knows how much I like it . Her pussy, Ummm her pussy's so sweet I could eat my little kittens pussy for hours, and it feels so good around me I mean I fucked her and never ever want another girl ever again, she turned me! someone who fucked around for fun into a one girl guy would would never dream of cheating on my sweet little wifey.

55. Have you ever had anal sex?

Yes, many times, It's the one thing about being in a committed relationship that I miss being with a girl, I miss anal. But I'm sure we could get a toy so she can still do it.

56. If you could choose what Y/n was wearing right now, what would you choose?

Sundress! I love her little sundress! and nothing else.

57. Where on your body is your favourite place to be touched?

hair... Or my hips, I love when she touches my hips

58. If you could have sex anywhere in the world, where would it be?

Anywhere I don't care.

59. When did you first had sex?

I was sixteen, and it was a bar bathroom. But it was amazing!

60. What's the best sex you've ever had?

The first time I had sex with y/n, the first time that we actually had sex we were in a little hotel in Cali, and it was amazing! she was so amazing, I'd never felt so good in my life!

61. What's your favourite position?

I love from the side, its so good when it's an early morning or, if we're both a little lazy, we start off spooning then have a few kisses and then after a couple of minuets she's screaming for me.

62. Have you ever been caught having sex?

Weirdly never,

63. Do you watch porn?

No! it's hard to find the places, and there always full of perverts.

64. What kind of porn do you watch?

I look at magazines. Or my little kitten. Oohhh we could make a porno?

65. How often do you masturbate?

Not very often, once a month maybe

66. Name a sex position you'd like to try?

I want to try a weird like upside down thing

67. Do you prefer to give or receive?

Give! I love hearing her scream! I love when she does it took but I like taking care of her better.

68. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

Many times, I wish we could more often but it's going to one of the warmer places becuase... new York is too fucking cold for that shit! but last time we where in paris in the summer we went skinny dipping and it's so fun, unfortunately it doesn't last long because one of us breaks and just has sex.

69. What's the most sex you've had in a day?

Oohh I think four times, i do not have the like replenishment ability to do anymore then that.

70. Are you loud or quiet during sex?

Loud! I know I'm loud but I like her to know how good she's making me feel, besides' she's louder.

71. Have you ever tried using food during foreplay?

No, that seems... sticky.

72. What's the first thing that sexually attracts you to someone?

Voice, and looks I guess.

73. Would you say you have any fetishes?

I like calling y/n kitten, and I love torturing her!

74. When it comes to BDSM, how far have you gone/would go?

I think I've probably gone... very very far.

75. What's your favourite toy?

well my little kitten is my toy. But I do enjoy this little toy we got recently that turns me into a little vibrator for her, i like it because well it makes me hard as fuck and she likes it because I slightly vibrate inside her, and it rubs on her clit for me which Is good because sometimes my hands are... preoccupied.

76. Do you ever read erotic fiction?

I've read stories people send into magazines about fucking stewardesses and hotel maids? does that count?

77. Have you joined the mile high club?

Yes I have, I think by now I'm probably like a platinum member?

78. Do you think you could take off Y/n underwear with no hands?

Yes I can. I have tried. Many times. but I can't anymore... my kitten doesn't bother with panties anymore

79. Would you say you're kinky?

Do. do I need to answer this question or does everything else here answer that enough?

80. Do you enjoy shower sex?

Not really no. The water never stays hot, the shower spray means one of you is always cold, it's weirdly dry, it's hard to get the angle, it's just way more trouble then it's worth, I'll wait and just cuddle her in the shower then bend her over the bathtub before she puts her towel on. but! Bath sex? I like.

81. Where's the weirdest place you've ever masturbated?

I don't really do it anywhere then my bed, or the shower.

82. Do you like to be spanked?

Yes I do, It's amazing! I like it a lot. and I also like doing it.

83. Have you ever fantasised about someone else during sex?

Not really,

84. If y/n caught you masturbating, would you stop or would you finish?

I would let her watch of course and likely ask her to give me something to watch

85. Have you ever had an inappropriate crush?

Not really I guess.

86. Have you ever cried or fallen asleep during sex?

Falling asleep afterwards is just a habit, but I have cried several times usually when it feels so amazing your eyes water.

87. Do you prefer eye contact or not during sex?

Eye contact is so good!

88. Do you like to kiss during sex?

sometimes, it depends what position as much as I love kissing during sex but some positions it just didn't really work

89. Do you get tired after sex?

Very I want a nap afterwards.

90. How many positions do you think you've tried?

I think we have tried most of them

91. What's the longest you've ever gone without sex?

About six months I guess, I don't know I don't really pay attention

92. How high is your sex drive?

Fairly high

93. What's a surefire way to turn you on?

Ask me for sex? or wear the sundress!

94. Sex with lights on or lights off?

Lights on! I can't be trying to work in the fucking dark.

95. Do you like dirty talk?

Very very much so

96. Do you prefer one night stands or longer-term sexual partners?

I used to really like one night stands, I liked just the hello, fuck goodbye element to it. but Now I have y/n I'm happy with long term and I don't ever want anyone else.

97. Do you prefer to be on top or bottom?

I like both. Don't make me choose!

98.Rough or romantic?

I guess both we are rough but it's in a romantic way

99. Quickie or marathon session?

I love quickies, allows us to get on with other things later in the day, but one night a week we have a nice long marathon session with the toys, and the handcuffs.

100. What's the best thing about our sex life?

I love how kinky and how rough we can get, but it's because we used to miss each other so badly back when we were long distance,  it became out release and to show each other just how bad we had missed one another, but it feels so good and its so amazing to make you feel so good and that you make me feel so good, I'll never need anyone else for the rest of my life now I've got you, I mean you literally made me cry it felt so good the first time we had sex, all your sexy little pictures and letter when we were apart, even if we do go a little crazy on each other sometimes,  I really do love you kitten more then anything, and I can't wait for us to get married, and for our honeymoon.

[justimagaine]

“Melancholy” Series Part 1 -  Oh, fuck them / Chris Evans

  Life can become a little bit too much. Sometimes you weren’t even aware that something bad was happening, you would just fall apart and then you’d realize the world had become a bit too much for you and your now weakened nerves. Those were one of those bad things about you. You’d push everything to the side, every problem you had you tried to solve it alone when clearly you needed help, you’d help other before you helped yourself.

  So when the moment of your breaking point came you fell hard, so damn hard. Everything turned dark around you. Lost all hope and desire to do anything, even take care of yourself, that included feeding yourself. You would lock away from the world, away from everything and anything. It was just you, your bed and the dark room. Sometimes you’d put on a tv show in hopes the light comedy would help you come out of the state you were in, but it never really worked, but you still tried.

  For you things turned so bad you’d just ignore every phone call or text you’d get. Even went so far as to turning your phone off when it was the weekend and you knew work wouldn’t need you. Doing so meant your friends couldn’t reach you, but you didn’t think anyone would even care to try and reach you or even worry about you. In your eyes you weren’t that important, you kept thinking: No one cares what happens to me; No one can no i’m like this, they’ll make fun of me. Every bad thought would scream in your mind, making you cry until you fell asleep and then the next day would be the same. 

  Work days weren’t that bad. You’d keep your dark mind busy with work things, meeting. Sitting in your office you didn’t have to talk to people too much meaning you wouldn’t have to fake smiles and laughs too much. Some would notice you acting a bit odd and question you on it, but you just brushed it off saying you didn’t get enough sleep and people believed you. They didn’t have a reason not to. You never gave them a reason to think otherwise. In their eyes you were a happy person, that always helped out no matter what. That was true even on your lowest days you’d go out of your way to help other, even the ones that were mean to you, adding to your already dark thoughts and days. 

  When coming home all you wanted was to crawl in bed and fall asleep as fast as possible, but that never went as you wished. It too you hours to fall asleep. You’d try and push your always ruining mind off, but that didn’t work, so you’d put on a video and some music that would drown out your own thoughts and then you’d slowly fall asleep. Sometimes late at night you’d get a text from a friend and you’d usually ignore it, but that depended on the person. When you got a text from Chris asking if you were okay, it took you a while to think of what to do you didn’t want to lie to him but you also didn’t want to tell the truth and upset him, so a lot of times you’d leave the text unanswered and then in the morning just back your sorry saying you went to bed early. He’d try to keep up the conversation but you give him short answers and saying you had meetings. Chris was a good friend and he also wasn’t dumb, so he knew something really wasn’t right, but he also knew better then to push you on the matter or even stop by your work or home without a warning. Even though he already once came by your apartment but you didn’t answer. He knew you were home and not opening your door to him, clearly meant you were suffering. 

  As slow as you thought the week was going you'd soon find yourself on a Saturday in bed, trying to watch a show, wrapped in blankets and red eyes from crying. You phone was off and you opened only Netflix, no social media, no emails. As you episode was nearing the end a video call request jumped out, making you grunt out loud. It was Chris calling and as happy as you were to see his smiling face in that picture you didn’t want to talk to him, so you moved your mouse to decline the call, but your weak, shaking made you click accept and Chris was all over your screen with a quick glace you looked at how you looking in his screen and was horrified, so you bent the screen back quickly, making Chris look at your ceiling. You heard Chris chuckle

  “Clearly you were trying to decline my call.” there was a small pause, he waited for you to say something, but you couldn’t “(Y/N) please bend your screen back.” you still didn’t move, but he could hear you sniffles. “Please, I’ve been trying to reach you for 2 weeks, you don’t call me back or respond to my text like you always do. And you’re not opening your apartment door. I know somethings wrong. This was my only option to reach you and luckily for your little call button mistake I at least know your alive” he sounded really worried, and it hurt you to know it was you fault. With a slow shaky arm you reach over taking the screen and bent it and finally looked at him, but still holding the blanking tightly around your body and half of your face “there’s my girl” Chris said with a excited voice

  “Hi” was all you could say. Chris sighed in the small 2 letter word he felt your sadness and knew you had been crying. All he wanted was to hug you and tell you everything would be okay. 

  “Sweetheart, tell me what’s going on? What happened?” Chris leaned closer to the screen trying to get a better look of you to asses the station, and the damage you’ve caused yourself. In your years of friendship with Chris this wasn’t your first dark, destructive episode. You didn’t think Chris was your closest friend, you defiantly didn’t think he thought of like that, but he was always the one person that could tell something really wasn’t right and he could see it very fast. Sometimes you didn’t even say anything and he already knew something was bothering you.

  “It’s okay. I’m fine” you said the same words you had on repeat for the last week. Chris sighed looking down and shook his head

  “By now you should know better then to lie to me” he looked back at you with the most saddest eyes you had seen on him. “you’ve turned your phone off and it has been off since yesterday afternoon and i I know that because I’ve  been calling you this whole time. You’re sitting in a dark room, and it’s still light outside meaning you’ve made your room dark. This is not good. Talk to me” you felt yourself tear up but shushed them away blinking a few times. You looked in his eyes and felt safe but still scared to tell him what was bothering you, Chris could see that “you can trust me” those 4 words were all you needed and you were spilling all your dark thoughts and worries. Chris listened and didn’t interrupt you, he knew you needed to let it all off your chest. When you felt your self starting to talk slower, meaning you were starting to run out off the things you were keeping in you realized you had been ranting for 30 minutes started and horror came over you. 

“Oh Chris, I’m so sorry. I’ve been complaining to you for so long. I’m so sorry” you said feeling embarrassed. “I shouldn’t have said anything.  I’ve been told I complain and talk too much, that I’m too much” you stopped yourself, when you realized you were complaining once again, buried your face in your blanket 

“oh, fuck them” Chris said loudly, making you snap your head up. Those were the first words he had said since you started talking. You couldn’t help but laugh a bit, a real laugh not like the ones you had been faking at work. “Fuck all of them. Fuck every single person that has made you feel bad about yourself.” Chris was starting to sound angry.  “Fuck those people that told you, you need to stop talk or some shit. You never complain, you’re always trying to be positive about any situation. Those people aren’t your friends, their just...” Chris trailed off trying to find the right words you describe those people that hurt his favorite girl. He looked back at the screen, right in your eyes “their just assholes and they don’t deserve you. You deserve better” his words made you smile and tear up but this time those were happy tears. It had been a long time since someone said something nice to you or about you.

  “I’m sorry, I keep crying, but this time it’s not sadness” you cleaned your tears of and smiled at Chris “thank you for saying that and thank you for listening to me. it really helped” you. You smiled looking down at your tear soaked blanket. “i owe you one” you said laughing and Chris chuckled with you 

  “Okay, then how about you do me a favor” you nodded, always ready to help out, as always. “Let me pick you up and take you to my place. You need a change of scenery, we can drink some beer or wine, watch a movie” you looked around your room and it did make you sad. Everything in your room had soaked up your sadness and felt so heavy,

  “It doesn’t sound like a favor for you” you said to Chris raising an eyebrow, he shook his head

  “No, no it’s definitely a favor for me, see i want to drink but I don’t want to do it alone. I need the company and also” Chris gave you a big smile “I’ve missed you, so this is all for me. Quit selfish i know” he said making you laugh. This offer was beneficial for both of you. After agreeing to his so called favor, your mood got even better. After ending the call you changed, packed an over night bag and waited for Chris to arrive. 

  He was a good friend, he was a great man in general. Sometimes you still can’t believe how lucky you were having him in your life. And there were so many times where you thought he’d ran away from you, let you push him away, like the dark time you were going through right now. But here you were sitting in your living room waiting for him to pick you up and bring you to his home, his sanctuary, Chris let you in his word and he wasn’t going to let go of you this easily, or ever for that matter. 

  You meant a lot to him, more then you knew or even could imagine. When the call ended you didn’t know that Chris had already ready to go after you, he already had his car keys ready. He had planned that if you didn’t pick up his video call he’d drive to yours and bang on your door until you let him in. Chris was determent to make you feel better, he was running out of the house. To Chris you were and incredible person, with  a big heart. A person that always made sure everyone around you were happy even if you weren’t. He thought you deserved to be happy as you can be, he thought you deserved the world and he wanted to give it you. Chris wanted to be the reason you smiled and to night he was on a mission to make sure you smile until your cheeks hurt and laugh so loud the whole world hears it.

---

Tag: @chris-butt​ ; @denisemarieangelina

[minimitchell]

1:30 on a wednesday afternoon and all i want is you (ao3 link)

(smut ahead)

.

Ben gets the text while lounging in his chair at the Arches.

He’s supposed to be doing accounts - the inspection he had on for the day already being done and dusted with and his other appointment for today not coming in until later this afternoon - but he’s more biding his time until it feels acceptable for him to take his lunch break. He can easily do the accounts some other day; maybe when he’s actually able to focus on the numbers in front of him.

It’s why Callum’s text came at the exact right time on the exact right day.

‘Are you free for lunch? I’m on my way home xx’

Callum doesn’t normally take his break at home. Most days, there’s not enough time for him to go back home, eat his lunch and then go back to the station again. But it seems like today he does have the time for it and there’s no way Ben’s gonna miss out on the opportunity to see his husband.

The fact it’s distracting him from doing the accounts is just an added bonus.

Callum is already home by the time Ben jogs up the stairs to the flat; his jacket and tie already off, the hat lying abandoned on the counter. He’s pottering around in the kitchen, probably doing the washing up from their rushed breakfast earlier today. He turns around the second Ben sets foot on the landing though, bright smile already firmly on his face.

“Hey, what are you doing home?”

Ben shrugs out of his shoes, placing them on their usual spot near the door, putting his own light jacket on the hook above them.

“That seminar I had finished early. And I fancied seeing my husband.”

The cooing sound coming from Ben almost sounds more sincere than teasing, if only because he also fancies seeing his husband. Pretty much always. Apart from Lexi, Callum is easily his favorite person to spend time with. Whether that’s a whole lifetime or just an unexpected extra hour around lunchtime - it doesn’t matter to Ben.

He faintly remembers Callum telling him about this seminar this morning. Something about some routine training they have to go through at the station. Ben doesn’t really care about it but if it gets his husband home sooner than planned, it’s alright with him.

Ben joins Callum in the little kitchenette, stepping up to him and leaning in for a kiss. Callum meets him halfway, pressing their lips together fervently, and Ben lets out a content sigh at the action. It’s only been a couple of hours since they kissed each other goodbye at the front door but he’s missed his husband regardless; missed kissing him.

Much to Ben’s surprise, it doesn’t take long at all for Callum to deepen their kiss, pushing their tongues together and pulling Ben closer into his body. Ben’s reaction is almost instinctual with the way he wraps one of his arms around Callum’s neck, the other running up his chest all the way to his shoulder.

He digs his fingers into the skin underneath when Callum starts trawling kisses over his jaw and down his neck, tongue darting out to trail over the hinge of his bone. Ben bites down on his lip to keep the noise from spilling out of him. Not because he’s trying to be coy or because he feels like he needs to be holding back from Callum - he definitely doesn’t have to hold back anything, they abandoned that extremely early on into their relationship - but because he knows Callum’s going to try extra hard to get the noises out of him if he doesn’t offer them willingly.

And he’s just fine with that.

“Oh, it’s that kind of lunch break, is it?”

Ben’s voice sounds embarrassingly breathy already, hanging onto the last shreds of restraint this fine afternoon. He has long abandoned any pretense that he doesn’t immediately melt under Callum’s touches; there’s too much intimate evidence to pretend otherwise anyway.

They don’t do this as often as they used to when Callum was still working at the parlor, getting busy on their lunch break that is, but it does happen from time to time when either of them is in the mood for it. Most times, there are a myriad of dirty texts proceeding it and it’s often not more than a quickie, but the urge does still overwhelm them at times. Almost two years and counting and they still can’t get enough of one another.

And lately they’ve become prolific at taking advantage of having an empty flat to themselves.

He had thought that not having an actual bedroom at the moment would put a damper on their love life in at least some capacity but Ben is happy to say that isn’t the case at all. Callum, it seems, doesn’t really care about the lack of a real marital bed or complete privacy, judging by their still very active and very good sex life.

“Could be. If you want.”

Callum murmurs the words into the skin of his neck; the vibrations sending little shockwaves throughout his body. Ben is not about to say no to that, to this, Callum knows that well enough. There probably won’t ever be a time where he isn’t up for sex with his gorgeous husband. They might still need to figure out how to communicate like people not weighed down by their own insecurities, but this they have down to perfection.

From the moment they took their relationship to that new level, from the first tentative touches and brave hands, they just seemed to get it right with each other. It’s almost effortless and Ben has never experienced it being quite like this with anyone else really. It’s another thing on the long list of reasons why he feels like they belong together somehow. Like they were made for one another.

It always feels way too damn good to be any different.

Ben doesn’t answer Callum directly. Instead, he leans back far enough to dislocate Callum’s lips from his neck, catching his eyes and deliberately running his tongue over his bottom lip to draw Callum’s gaze to it. It works like a charm every time.

He slowly starts unbuttoning Callum’s white work shirt, unfastening button after button while never breaking their eye contact. Every new piece of uncovered skin sends a thrill of arousal to Ben’s already high-wired brain. He can’t wait to get his hands on him.

The shirt falls into a heap on the floor; the kitchen tiles welcoming it without a noise. Ben runs careful fingertips over the now-exposed skin, lightly dancing over the curves of Callum’s pecs and down his stomach, taking hold of the belt that’s wrapped around Callum’s pants. He’s definitely laying it on thick now, making a show of how slow he can unclasp the leather and free it from its buckle, giving him enough access to unbutton Callum’s pants as well.

He’s slowly walking them backwards towards the couch while he’s popping the button and lowering the zipper, the black fabric immediately hanging loose on Callum’s hips. Ben hates them and the disservice they’re doing to Callum’s body with a fiery passion; he much prefers his husband in those tight jeans that show off his nice, lean legs.

It’s why he has no qualms about pushing the pants past Callum’s hips, letting them hit the floor in a similar manner to the rest of Callum’s clothes before them. Ben lets his eyes drop from Callum’s face down his body, grazing over all the naked skin in front of him now, all the way down to where he’s already half-hard in his underwear.

Only a few short moments pass where they stand in front of each other, Ben taking in his fill, before Callum almost lunges for him, fisting his hands into Ben’s shirt and tugging it up over his head. Ben lets him get as far as unbuttoning his pants before he stops Callum with a hand on his chest, pushing him backwards onto the couch with a thud.

There’s heat in his eyes when he looks up at Ben from his new position, desire clear as day in his eyes. Ben has never felt more desirable, more sexy, than when Callum is looking at him like this. It’s even better now that he knows just how much love is hiding behind the dark mist of arousal clouding Callum’s pretty blue eyes.

Right now though, he’s more concerned with his own growing erection and the slight fact they don’t have all the time in the world to find some relief with each other.

Ben unceremoniously drops his own jeans to the floor, stepping out of them in a quick effort to join his husband. He slings a leg over Callum’s thighs, sitting himself down square on his lap, facing Callum. There’s a moment where Ben gets lost in Callum’s eyes when he’s nicely settled on his lap, not quite keeping the smile from tugging at his lips, too caught up in the awe that he gets to have this. The fit husband, the unconditional love, the never-ending hunger for one another.

Callum cuts his thoughts off before Ben can get completely lost in the emotions, leaning forward to seal their lips back together. He’s tugging Ben closer to him, into his chest. Ben meets him willingly, always, pushing their tongues back together. He can feel Callum’s hands travelling from his nape down his back until they find the edge of his boxers, fingers snaking under the waistband.

He uses his grip to push their hips together, cocks brushing together through the thin material of their boxers. The sensation shoots straight up Ben’s spine, zinging through his body and igniting him from the inside, and Ben reacts by biting down on Callum’s bottom lip; teeth sinking into plush pink.

It rips a low moan from Callum’s throat. One, Ben gladly answers with one of his own, aided by the way they’re grinding against one another. Their moans cause their lips to disconnect, now only resting against one another, sharing pants and groans.

They keep moving together until it becomes not enough, until they’re both hard against the other. Ben’s skin feels like it’s been set on fire, lightning strumming through his limbs and into each extremity. It’s not uncommon for him to feel like this; Callum always makes him feel like he’s burning up from the inside with even the smallest of his touches.

Ben never wants it to stop.

“Fuck, Cal. You or me?”

His voice is so breathy, he’s sure Callum only hears him because there’s less than a handful of centimeters between them right now. He tries to gulp in air, regain at least some bit of control, but it’s completely in vain when Callum kisses him again, foregoing a concrete answer for the moment.

He murmurs his next words against Ben’s lips, sending them out against soft skin, accompanied by one of his hands splaying out over Ben’s naked back.

“Me. Please.”

Ben isn’t fussed either way. He’d be down to receive - it’s not like getting fucked by Callum is a hardship; he always knows how Ben likes it that time, how hard or slow he needs it - but it’s equally as hot to give pleasure to Callum. If only because he’s pretty damn beautiful painted in ecstasy.

“With pleasure, baby.”

He presses another deep kiss to Callum’s lips; not long or deep enough for Callum it seems, judging by the whine he lets out when Ben leans backwards again. Ben watches him chase his lips for a second, pressing one small peck to his lips in compensation.

Most of their stuff is still across the square over at his dad’s house. They only have a couple of things with them here, going back once or twice while Phil was out to exchange some clothes or get some other necessary items. Their things are mostly stored away in the small bedroom with only a few essentials kept here in the living room.

One of these essentials is definitely the little bag of toiletries that contains some lube, tucked away behind Callum’s big work bag. Ben climbs off of Callum to retrieve it, immediately missing the feeling of his big hands roaming over his skin and digging into his flesh.

When he turns back around, he’s being greeted by Callum lying sideways on the couch now, underwear missing and fist lazily running up and down his hard dick. He’s looking entirely too smug, like he knows exactly what the sight of him is doing to Ben and his own painfully hard cock, and unfortunately he’s completely right with it as well.

Because just looking at his husband like this makes his mouth water and his hands itch to reach out.

Ben almost throws himself back on the couch next to Callum, being met by a rich, loud laugh coming from his husband, darting his hands out to try and shield himself from Ben falling onto him. One of his hands reaches out to card through Callum’s fringe falling softly onto his forehead, before leaning down to press a kiss right to the center of Callum’s chest, directly over his heart.

The gesture is way too tender considering his next move is to push his middle finger into Callum’s entrance, right up to the first knuckle. He’s being met with a breathy sigh, the edges of Callum’s mouth twitching up in enjoyment. He always does it, the involuntary, little smile when Ben starts prepping him, and it might be his favorite little tick Callum has that he’s discovered in their time together.

From the way Callum’s throwing his head back against the armrest and grappling for every bit of Ben’s skin he can reach the longer they go on, Ben adding another and then another finger in the meantime, he’s more than enjoying himself. Almost like he was hoping for it to go this way.

Ben can just about imagine it: Callum sitting in that seminar thinking about Ben’s mouth on him, his fingers in him, counting down the minutes until he can get out of the station and get Ben on top of him. The thought sends a jolt of heat through his body, arousal spiking. It’s almost as hot as the knowledge he’s gonna go back there afterwards, only him and Ben knowing he just got thoroughly fucked on his lunch break, his colleagues none the wiser.

It makes him want to absolutely ruin Callum, to the point where he can’t hide what they did to any outsider seeing him.

When he’s certain Callum is ready, and judging by the dents in his skin and the red streaks on his shoulder blades he is, Ben slots himself in the space between Callum’s legs, lining himself up with Callum’s entrance. He can feel Callum angle his legs on either side, hooking his feet under his ass.

Ben pushes in carefully, watching Callum’s face for any sign of discomfort. It doesn’t matter how often they’ve done this before or how he always makes sure Callum is stretched enough, his comfort is way more important than Ben’s impatience. He never wants Callum to feel anything but good when they’re having sex.

He rests their foreheads together when he bottoms out completely, letting Callum get used to the feeling of being filled, catching his labored breaths against his own lips. He only starts moving once Callum gives him the go ahead, but not before sealing their lips back together in a long kiss.

The rhythm Ben sets is punishing; slow but deep thrusts that set Callum’s teeth on edge and push tiny sounds of pleasure out of him. His ankles keep digging into the meat of Ben’s ass, urging him on even more than the noises do.

Blunt nails dig into his back and one of his thrusts must land exactly right, because Callum lets out a strained moan, his whole body tightening under Ben for a moment. Ben makes sure to hit that exact same spot again on the next few thrusts, knowing it won’t take long for Callum to tip over the edge then.

He leans down to attach his mouth to the side of Callum’s neck, right under his left ear. He wants Callum to hear him, needs him to. And he knows Callum likes to be praised as well, gets a bit more wild every time Ben tells him he’s being good and that he’s doing well.

“You’re so perfect, baby. Make me feel so good. So gorgeous.”

The words definitely have the desired effect because Callum honest-to-god keens; hands running up into Ben’s hair and pulling on the strands. The added bit of pain makes Ben thrust in sharply once, twice, enough times apparently to make Callum clench around him, moaning as he paints streaks of white across his stomach.

Feeling Callum constrict around him is the last bit that pushes Ben over the edge as well, burying his head in Callum’s neck to ride out the aftershocks before all but collapsing on top of him.

The flat is filled with their harsh pants, coming down from their respective orgasms and back down to earth. Ben only faintly registers Callum’s hand trailing up and down his nape in a soothing motion, the other one resting somewhere on his lower back.

“Good lunch.”

Ben smushes the words into the dip of Callum’s collarbone, only just loud enough for the sound to travel down to Callum’s ears. They’re being met with a shake of Callum’s chest when he starts laughing, rattling Ben’s head up and down in tune with his giggles. He can feel Callum pressing a kiss to the top of his head, wrapping an arm around Ben’s shoulder when he props himself up enough to look into Callum’s eyes.

“Seriously, you should take your lunch at home more often.”

There’s still a soft smile on Callum’s face even though his laughter has now died down, eyes roaming over every little detail of Ben’s face in front of him. He always has the softest look in his eyes after sex, like he can’t believe he gets to have this for the rest of his life. Ben can relate to that. He’ll forever be grateful for Callum and all he gets to have with him. Because of him.

“If this is how it goes, I might.”

They’re still connected from the chest down; sweaty and definitely filthy. If there’s still time, they should really get in the shower and get cleaned up. For now though, Ben is entirely too happy with leaning in to kiss Callum some more, taking advantage of the rest of the time they have together this afternoon.

He already has plans for the next time he needs an excuse not to do the accounts.

[snowe-zolynn-rogers]

Pairings: Past Aizawa/Mandalay

Word Count: 1,9218 Words

Summary: The Sports Festival, part 1.

Warnings: Food Mention, Death Mention, Caps, Cursing, Teen Pregnancy, Fighting Mention, let me know if I should tag anything else.

Usernames: Existence Is A Prison   Aizawa: feral cat dad, Aoyama: gay salt, Hagakure: ranch flavored jello, Tokoyami: foil-mecha, Shinsou: farmer toshi, Kuroiro: life is a nightmare, Shiozaki: saviour, Tsunotori: schrodinger better run, Honenuki: pure, Monoma: nat20, Yamada: President Megaphone, Bakugou: deku-deck-you

Aizawa, We Agreed No More Cats: Chapter 8

7:00 AM

Existence Is A Prison

gay salt: Tokoyami, I know it's the sports festival and all today, but you didn't need to bring everyone sandos and sports drinks again.

foil-mecha: Thing is, I didn't.

farmer toshi: No, no, because my whole class has sandos and sports drinks on their desks too. And I heard the other Gen Ed classes causing a ruckus over them too. Seems like someone put sando throughout the whole school.

feral cat dad: That would be me. I'm not letting any of you kids go without eating during a major sports event where you'll likely get injured and your bodies need fuel to fight and I won't let you not eat.

feral cat dad: My old Gen Ed teacher, Miss Rin, began this tradition of giving out sandos and water at the gate to students on the day of the Sports Festival. Nezu sanctioned of course, since he refused to allow her to pay for it herself. And now it's carried on through me since she passed on a few years ago.

ranch flavored jello: That's actually really sweet, Dad.

feral cat dad: If you tell anyone it was me who put them out, I'll make you clean the roof level.

ranch flavored jello: We have a roof level?

feral cat dad: You guys didn't know the dorms have roof access?

ranch flavored jello: Well, now we do. Where even are the stairs to it?

feral cat dad: Literally next to my room, I don't know how you haven't found them.

deku deck-you: It's the door next to his room, Toru. Even I found it. You've been here five more days than me.

ranch flavored jello: I THOUGHT THAT WAS A BROOM CLOSET!

feral cat dad: Oh my gods, these kids will be the end of me.

8:30 AM

Existence Is A Prison

feral cat dad: God help me being alone with this idiot.

feral cat dad: I'm using this chat for extra commentary because there are things I can't say on live national television commentary so they'll all be said here.

feral cat dad: Oh god, Katsuki, no. Don't slander our name.

feral cat dad: Please.

feral cat dad: GOD DAMMIT

feral cat dad: Obstacle Course? Fuck.

feral cat dad: Most proud of my son managing to evade Todoroki's ice despite never dealing with it before.

feral cat dad: Also, Todoroki, who hurt you as a child? That was purposeful so nobody could catch up!

feral cat dad: Get it, Pikachu.

feral cat dad: I'm proud of my gremlin children.

feral cat dad: I'm not paid enough to make commentary on this obstacle.

feral cat dad: Except for my son. I care about my ground-bound son getting across the pit to Tartarus shit.

feral cat dad: Gods, mines. I remember those landmines. I hate those things. They almost made me temporarily blind during my second year Sports Festival.

feral cat dad: What the FUCK Midoriya!?

8:45 AM

Existence Is A Prison

feral cat dad: Alright you're probably in the break room for the twenty five minute break by now. Katsuki, what's wrong with your arms? You were holding them.

deku deck-you: Just a lot of work. Overworking. I guess it can't be helped, this is why I have so much wrist support in my hero costume, to help keep my hands from feeling cramped from the explosions.

feral cat dad: Come up to the box, I'll shut old parakeet up if he tries to speak.

deku deck-you: Why?

feral cat dad: I have some ibuprofen, come take two, it should help the pain at least.

deku deck-you: Thank you.

9:00 AM

Existence Is A Prison

feral cat dad: Am I allowed to ask why Vlad King is taking care of a small child when he, in fact, doesn't have children?

feral cat dad: Just realized I won't get an answer because you all made it to the next round. I'm so proud but dammit, now I'm curious.

9:20 AM

Existence Is A Prison

feral cat dad: I...What?

feral cad dad; I hate the cavalry battle, that was difficult to keep track of. I don't know how Hizashi does it.

schrodinger better run: Obviously, the answer is very carefully.

feral cat dad: I'm sorry you didn't make it through, Pony. I have candy if you want some.

schrodinger better run: Thank you! I'll stop by and grab it on my way to lunch.

feral cat dad: If you're going to meet back up with your class, text me why there's a child.

schrodinger better run: There's a child?

feral cat dad: smallchildinvladkingsarms.jpg

schrodinger better run: He looks a lot like Tokage.

9:30 AM

Existence Is A Prison

ranch flavored jello: Mr. Aizawa, this is Mina, Toru's busy crying so she asked me to ask you. Mineta and Kaminari are telling us 1a girls that you instructed we wear the cheerleader uniforms for the afternoon. What should we tell them?

feral cat dad: Tell them they have three weeks of detention each to look forward to and don't wear those fucking uniforms.

schrodinger better run: Okay, so apparently the kid's here because Tokage brought him in? I still don't have a full explanation, but his name is Mitsu and he's 2 years old.

feral cat dad: Okay. So Tokage brought her little brother or something?

nat20: I'm not so sure about that. He just called her Mama.

feral cat dad: So Tokage has a son?

nat20: It seems like it.

feral cat dad: Oh, Nezu won't be happy about this. He wanted any young parents to report to him after the opening ceremony and alert him if they had any children so they would stay in the dorms.

nat20: To be fair, it would seem Tokage would be the only one out of all the first year classes, so it might have been too much pressure to fit in. Or she may even just has help enough at home that she didn't feel she needed to tell anyone.

feral cat dad: He'll still be mad. Believe me, he'll at least force her to accept a UA fund card so she doesn't need to work to support the baby.

saviour: We got to talking and, apparently, she gives him to a daycare while she's at school and she picks him up when she leaves school.

feral cat dad: Yup, she'll probably be moved on campus if she's not having her family take care of the baby during the day. Nezu's very adamant that his students have help if they're struggling.

10:45 AM

Existence Is A Prison

feral cat dad: Alright, so Shinsou against Rikamaru Kana from the Support Course. I don't know if this will be easy for him.

nat20: I am offended Kendo thinks so little of me.

feral cat dad: Why?

nat20: She said I'm perverse! And, when I asked her about it after, she said it's because I wear the girls' uniform sometimes. She thinks I'm some pervert trying to invade the girl's bathroom to creep on them.

nat20: I swear I haven't, Mr. Aizawa, I've never even gone into the girls restrooms, I use the men's or the one in Recovery Girl's office. And I change in the men's locker room. Tetsutetsu will tell you, he's guarded me before when I was uncomfortable changing.

feral cat dad: Don't worry, kid, I believe you. Come up to the box, you need a hug. I'll talk to Kendo if you want.

nat20: Please.

10:50 AM

Existence Is A Prison

feral cat dad: Oh my god, he actually did it. I'm so proud, Shinsou.

schrodinger better run: Shinsou fucking yeeted her.

life is a nightmare: Equal opportunity yeeting.

feral cat dad: Next up is Hatsume vs Tokoyami.

nat20: I hope Tokoyami does well next.

11:00 AM

Existence Is A Prison

feral cat dad: Tokoyami, I'm proud of you for being a good sport and helping her up after.

foil-mecha: I'm nothing if not a gentleman. Plus, when she fell down, she sprained her ankle. It's the least I can do to help her to Recovery Girl.

farmer toshi: I'm betting a grocery shop tonight that Ashido's going to win against Midoriya next.

feral cat dad: Be careful kid, you might eat those words.

11:10 AM

Existence Is A Prison

farmer toshi: Fine, I guess I'm getting dinner. And I'm also very happy Toru won against Iida.

feral cat dad: That's if you don't get injured. Remember, there's now two people you know against you.

ranch flavored jello: I still can't believe I won against Iida, honestly.

feral cat dad: Well, Shiozaki is against Shizuka Inei next. A Gen Ed Course student.

nat20: Do you know him, Hitoshi?

farmer toshi: Kind of hard to miss someone when they're that fucking loud all the time.

foil-mecha: Is that son of a bitch harassing Ibara?

nat20: I have lost faith in humanity. How dare a peasant's filthy hands touch our Ibara.

farmer toshi: Yeah, I'd defend my classmate in it being an accident if I didn't know that Shizuka is a blatant misogynists.

feral cat dad: I'll fight him. Disgusting little trash.

life is a nightmare: And HE gets to advance while our Ibara loses? Unacceptable.

feral cat dad: The Min*ta of class 1c.

11:25 AM

Existence Is A Prison

nat20: Thank goodness Kiyomi's advancing. I do feel bad she'll be fighting a misogynist though.

pure: I felt kind of bad about it, I didn't really want to fight our Akari!

nat20: I'm sure Akari understands and also didn't want to fight you either, but you two can't just refuse to fight because you're friends or you'd both be either disqualified or forced to fight by now.

gay salt: No ill will is held on my end, Kiyomi! I think our fight was rather fun!

pure: Okay, as long as you promise you're not mad.

gay salt: I'm not, I'm proud of you, mon amor.

nat20: Any bets on Kaminari here?

farmer toshi: I'll bet on Pikachu winning.

schrodinger better run: I'll bet a grocery trip that Fujioka wins.

life is a nightmare: That would be the furthest a Business Course student would have gotten in the Sports Festival.

schrodinger better run: I'll still bet on him.

feral cat dad: Well, you were wrong, Pony.

schrodinger better run: All as well. I didn't expect Fujioka to have an equip quirk, to be fair.

feral cat dad: Next is Tokage vs Fukumura from General Studies.

saviour: Let's go Tokage!

11:30 AM

Existence Is A Prison

deku deck-you: Is Tokage okay? I heard she passed out.

feral cat dad: She's overworked and malnourished from what Recovery Girl will tell me when I ask and Nezu is speaking with Tokage and asking her what got her to this.

feral cat dad: I

feral cat dad: I don't think I'm at liberty to discuss her tragic backstory with you guys, sadly. But she'll tell you when she moves into the dorms tonight.

11:35 AM

Existence Is A Prison

farmer toshi: Todoroki, aka Mr. Overboard. Poor Sero.

farmer toshi: Oh god, I might need to fight Mr. Daddy Issues.

farmer toshi: Gods help me.

foil-mecha: To be fair, he'd have to get through three brackets to get to you and he'd be fighting you in the three-way fight.

ranch flavored jello: He'd have to get past Katsuki too.

deku deck-you: He won't.

feral cat dad: Alright then, Mr. Overconfident.

Taglist: @everythingisstardust 

[litwitlady]

this godforsaken mess

Read on AO3.

Warnings: Casual homophobia/biphobia - angst

Angst Prompt #1 - ‘I don’t love you anymore.’

I don’t love you anymore, I don’t love you anymore, I don’t love you anymore. Alex recites the words in his head over and over again, hoping that at some point in the very near future he’ll believe them. But the clock is ticking and the sound of an old Chevy engine is growing louder by the second.

Michael pulls into Alex’s driveway and shuts his engine off. Alex stands in front of him, haloed by his headlights. They stare at each other through the windshield for far too long before Michael opens his door and slides out of the truck. It’s been one week since they last saw each other. And nearly eight since they’ve properly spoken.

Alex stuffs his hands in his pockets. ‘Thanks for doing this on such short notice.’ He doesn’t wait for a response, just turns his back to Michael and walks to his Explorer. It was supposed to be Forrest with him tonight, but he’d been called away to New York on book business. Finding a replacement date at 5:30 pm on a Friday afternoon proved impossible, until he’d done the unthinkable and called Michael.

He’d wanted to cancel - had dialed his CO’s number multiple times without pressing send. Alex had turned her down so many times before that canceling last minute seemed rude and childish and possibly ruinous to his career. But showing up dateless to a dinner party with several other couples seemed ruinous to his mental health, so he’d called everyone in his contacts list.

This whole night promises to end in disaster. He looks up as Michael walks towards the passenger side of his SUV and notices for the first time what he’s wearing. Or more accurately, what he’s not wearing. There’s no audacious belt buckle, no cowboy hat, no grease anywhere he can see. His jeans are new - dark wash denim and so perfectly snug that Alex wonders if they’ve been tailored. And instead of his usual button-up, Michael’s in a v-neck sweater - black cashmere from the looks of it. How Isobel got him to wear any of this is beyond Alex’s comprehension. ‘You look good.’

Michael shuts the door and stares at him. ‘Isobel forced me into Max’s clothes. The sweater’s itchy and the jeans are too long.’ He glances down to where the ends of his pants are cuffed. Same old worn boots on his feet. 

That tiny piece of Michael makes Alex smile. ‘But not the boots, huh?’

‘Over my dead body.’ Michael risks smiling back. ‘You look good, too. But you always look good.’

Alex has to force himself to drag his eyes away, distracting himself with turning his key in the ignition. ‘Again, Michael. Thank you so much.’ The engine roars to life. ‘It’s more than I had any right to ask.’

‘No more apologies. Just fill me in on what I need to know to survive the night. She’s your boss, right?’ He pulls down the sun visor, messing with his hair while avoiding catching his own eye in the mirror. 

‘Commanding Officer, yes. Major Denise Williams. Her husband’s name is Dan. There will be several other couples there - none of them military. All of them heterosexual. Everyone knows I’m gay and in a relationship. You’re a friend helping out last minute.’ Alex hopes none of the small talk ventures too close to their past. But the fear pooling in his stomach knows they’re going to be asked several uncomfortable questions. 

‘Are we ex-lovers or do we avoid that entirely?’ Michael flips the sun visor shut and turns his gaze out the window. ‘To be honest, Alex. I’m not in the mood to lie.’

‘No lying. I loved you and you loved me. It didn’t work. We’re trying to be friends.’ The air in the SUV thickens. Michael shifts in the leather seat, crossing his ankles. ‘Hopefully, that will make the conversation awkward enough to shut everyone up.’

Michael nods and returns his focus outside. The rest of the drive is silent. Not even the radio filling the spaces between them.

The Major’s house is modest in size but well-tended. The yard mostly rock except for the occasional plot of prettily landscaped desert flowers and shrubbery. One large pinyon pine anchoring the space and providing a fair amount of late afternoon shade. Alex parks on the street behind a Subaru and cuts the engine. ‘You ready?’

‘I hope that’s a rhetorical question.’ Michael opens his door and slides out. Waits for Alex to walk around and join him. ‘You and I both know we aren’t ready for this.’ They share a meaningful look and step together towards the front door.

Alex raises a finger to press the doorbell, but the door swings open before he gets the chance. ‘Captain Manes, so good to see you again.’ Dan Williams extends his hand which Alex shakes. 

‘You too, Dan. This is my friend, Michael Guerin.’ He motions to Michael who also extends his hand.

‘Nice to meet you, Michael. Come inside, you two. Denise is in the kitchen with our other guests.’ They cross the threshold and follow Dan into the kitchen, taking in their surroundings as they go. Michael making sure to note any exits in case a quick getaway is needed. Alex smirks at him, knowing exactly what he’s up to.

‘No crawling out of any windows, please,’ he mutters under his breath. 

Michael smirks back at him. ‘No promises.’

‘Alex!’ A middle-aged blond woman greets them, lipsticked grin spread wide across her face and not at all what Michael had expected. She’s happily plump and her warmth radiates throughout the room. ‘And you must be Michael.’

‘Thank you for inviting us, Major. We got you a little something.’ He hands her a bottle of wine. ‘Dan texted me your favorite brand.’ 

She takes the bottle of Cabernet and pulls him into a hug. ‘No Major or Captain tonight. Just Denise and Alex. And thank you for the wine. I can be quite the lush when I’m off duty.’ She winks and Michael cannot believe this woman is in the Air Force. ‘Now come meet everyone.’

Denise introduces them to two other couples. Mark and Silvia who are close to Michael and Alex’s age. Bobby and Tally who are about ten years older. Everyone is pleasant and polite, spending most of the conversation focused on discussing the Williams’ bathroom rehab and their desire to put a pool in next summer. Michael gladly accepts a beer and Alex takes a glass of wine. They keep to the edges of the conversation, rarely offering more than a nod or a hum of agreement.

Somewhere along the way, they subconsciously press together - shoulder to hip. Oblivious until Tally smiles at them and asks the first devastating question of the night. ‘How long have you two been dating?’

Michael and Alex leap apart from each other like they’ve been burned. Alex cuts his eyes to Denise who steps in to save them. ‘I’m sorry, Alex. I forgot to inform everyone before you arrived.’ She turns to the group. ‘Alex’s boyfriend had to go out of town last minute. Michael is a good friend giving up his Friday evening to save Alex from facing us alone.’

Alex smiles his thanks and exchanges a look with Michael. ‘We used to date. In high school, mostly. Never worked out.’ It’s a version of the truth.

‘So, you’re both gay?’ Mark asks, innocently. Sipping at his own glass of wine.

‘I’m bisexual, actually.’ Michael answers, hiding his annoyance with a practiced ease.

The oven timer buzzes and Dan claps his hands. ‘Dinner’s ready. Everyone go grab a seat at the table.’ He shuffles everyone but Michael and Alex into the dining room. 

Denise pulls the roast chicken from the oven and then takes them aside. ‘I’m so sorry. That whole conversation was my fault. I should have explained everything before you arrived. I guess I know why you’ve been avoiding this for so long, Alex.’

Alex does his best to fake a smile. ‘It’s okay, Major. I’ve handled worse.’ 

Dan returns to grab the chicken. Denise moves to follow him out of the kitchen. ‘Take a breather. Join us when you’re ready.’ She pats both of them on the arm and disappears.

‘I’m so sorry. We can leave it you want. She’d never hold it against me.’ He mindlessly gathers a fistful of Michael’s shirt and starts to tug him towards the front door. ‘I can text her from outside.’

Michael grabs hold of his waist. ‘Hey, stop. I’m okay. We’re okay. Like you said, we’ve handled way worse. Casual homophobia with a side of biphobia tainted with a shitload of ignorance? Piece of cake.’

That earns him a small smile. ‘Casual bigotry always feels particularly heinous.’ 

Neither is sure how they end up with their arms wrapped around each other, but regardless, that’s where they land. Hugged tightly together in a strange kitchen. The moment oddly intimate and entirely devoid of sex. They take a long moment to breathe one another in and relax. ‘I like Denise. I bet she’s a good boss. Not at all what I’d imagined.’ 

Reluctantly, Alex pulls away. He has trouble meeting Michael’s eye, standing so close. ‘She is a good boss. It’s one of the reasons I didn’t want to mix the professional with the personal. But everyone in my unit has been to one of her dinners. I couldn’t keep saying no.’

‘And it was supposed to be Forrest with you. The incredibly charming boyfriend who never lets anything ruffle his feathers. And who can spend endless hours talking about his research in a way that makes everyone swoon.’ Michael rolls his eyes good-naturedly.  

‘Maybe you could regale them with your expertise on rebuilding engines. Or applied mathematics. Drug them all to sleep with your brilliance.’ Michael laughs loudly and from out of nowhere Alex wants to kiss him. Rarely has he ever wanted to kiss anyone so desperately. He white knuckles the counter behind him to keep himself from taking a step further, palms sweating and heart racing. I don’t love you anymore, I don’t love you anymore, I don’t love you anymore.

The chant hadn’t worked at the beginning of the night and it’s not working now.

Michael tilts his head towards the dining room. ‘Let’s go eat.’

Dinner goes well, the food is excellent. Alex and Michael get to fade into the background for a while as talk returns to home repair and upcoming travel plans. A little extra alcohol doesn’t hurt either. Alex notices they both drink enough to get a decent buzz going and to calm their nerves. Everyone at the table well ahead of them anyway. Alex is pretty positive the Air Force would frown upon his CO plying him with so much free booze, but he’s not planning on telling anyone so he takes another sip of wine.

Eventually, Silvia turns to Alex. ‘Denise tells us that you’re dating Forrest Long. I’ve seen him around town and know he’s helping his uncle out on the farm. How did you two meet?’

He can feel Michael bristle next to him. But there’s nothing he can do about that and his answer’s certainly not going to help either. ‘Through Michael, actually. They got to know each other at the local library, fighting over the microfiche reader.’

‘Oh, that’s so interesting. What were you researching at the library, Michael? If you don’t mind my asking, of course.’ Everyone turns their attention to Michael, and Alex mentally chastises himself. 

‘Nothing special. Some family history and the 1947 UFO crash. Forrest was doing the same for his book.’ They all nod their heads and return to eating.

‘That’s sweet.’ Denise raises her glass to them. ‘Most exes can barely stand being in the same room together and here you two are playing matchmaker for each other. The only thing I ever wanted to do with one of my exes was fling them into the sun.’ She smiles across the table at her husband and everyone raises their glasses, laughing in agreement.

‘We’re not as well-adjusted as we sound. I’ve wanted to fling him into the sun more times than I can count. And I’m sure the same is true for him.’ Alex chuckles along with the group and glances at Michael. They smile fondly at each other and Michael takes another risk, placing his hand on Alex’s thigh underneath the table.

‘Yeah, but if I ever flung you into the sun, I’d just build a spaceship to go get you back.’ He squeezes Alex’s knee and his eyes soften.

‘Me, too.’ He plants his hand on top of Michael’s and the rest of the room fades away. It is the closest Alex has ever come to cheating on someone. 

Dan clears his throat and they both jerk their heads in his direction. ‘Were you each other’s first loves?’

Michael starts talking before Alex manages to find suitable words. ‘Yes. We were two really soft kids with rough upbringings who found a home in each other. However briefly.’ The table falls silent until Mark begins the story of how he and his wife met working as lifeguards during college.

Dinner ends soon after. Dan and Denise making everyone a plate of food to take home and wishing everyone a goodnight. Denise waves to Michael, but pulls Alex aside. ‘He’s a sweet boy, Alex. I’m glad I got to meet him.’ She stares at him for a beat too long, eyebrows furrowed. ‘May I offer you some unsolicited advice? Please feel free to tell me to fuck off.’

Alex’s eyes widen at her swear. She laughs and shakes her head. ‘I never dreamed of being in the Air Force. And I sure as shit never intended to become a lifer. But life has a funny way of sending us down the right path - no matter how hard we fight against it.’ She gives him one last knowing look. ‘I’ll see you on Monday morning. Tell Michael I think he’s a delight.’

When Alex gets back to his Explorer, Michael is leaning against the driver’s side door. ‘Your keys.’ He’s holding out his hand.

‘I can drive.’ But even he has to admit the world is spinning slightly and his steps are more than little wobbly. Michael doesn’t pull his hand away. ‘Fine.’ He slaps his keys in Michael’s palm. ‘How come you’re so sober?’

‘Years of practice, baby. Plus, after the first beer, I strategically switched to water.’ He smirks and unlocks the car. Michael’s a constant marvel and Alex misses him so much.

The ride home is once again silent. Alex dozes off and wakes up to discover Michael leaning over his lap to unfasten his seat belt. ‘I miss you.’ He doesn’t mean to say it. But he’s glad it’s out in the open now. 

Michael helps him slide out of his seat and plant his feet firmly on the ground. ‘That’s the wine talking. Just last week you avoided talking to me in the cereal aisle.’

‘I have to avoid you or something wrong will happen.’ Michael ignores him and walks him to his front door, using his telekinesis to click the deadbolt open. All Alex’s security lights turn on, flooding his patio with bright, blinding light. Returning some of his sense to him and flaming his cheeks with embarrassment. ‘I’m sorry. You’re right. I had too much wine.’

Michael nods, letting the whole thing go with a shrug. ‘You okay on your own?’

‘Yeah. Thanks again. For everything. I owe you.’ Alex wants to hug him. Wants to kiss him back in time to the moment right before he’d kissed Forrest that first time. But he doesn’t do either. ‘Goodnight, Michael.’

‘Night, Alex.’ He turns and strides to his truck. The darkness of night stealing him from Alex’s sight.

The Chevy disappears down the street, the chug of the engine growing fainter as the stars shine overhead. And Alex tries one last time. I don’t love you anymore, I don’t love you anymore, I don’t love you anymore.

[lesbianbending-moved]

Hello!!! So online school has started over here and I have small question for you. How do you deal with the looming fear of falling behind? I don't know if other people feel like this, but I just wanted to ask. I don't even know if you still go to school, but thanks for you blog!! It gets me through things!

aw tysm for sending this!! 🥺🥺 don’t worry, literally everyone is adjusting to online school rn and it’s a learning curve for everyone! i’m still in school, i’m going to graduate a bit early this spring with my ba in political science so here are my tips as someone who went from revolving their whole life around classes to gaining a much healthier and sustainable relationship w school

go to every single class unless absolutely necessary! these days especially it is so easy to skip a zoom class when the teacher says that attendance isn’t mandatory, but this is the quickest way to fall behind (even if you don’t realize it). i recommend only skipping class if you are genuinely ill or if you need a mental health day (not just you’re tired and don’t want to go to class, but you genuinely need a day to restart). 

get in contact with the instructor if you have any questions or if you do fall behind! even today i realized that i missed a homework assignment that i just didn’t see on the course page. i immediately emailed the professor, explained what happened, and got it worked out asap! profs rn are very understanding, and even if they say ‘sorry, no late work accepted’, then at least you still tried and they know that you cared enough to get in contact w them instead of just being like eh whatever.

develop a routine! nothing crazy, just enough to give your brain some structure. even if you don’t feel like you like structure, the human brain thrives off of routine. for example: i know that i get really sleepy in the mid afternoons after my classes, so i make sure that i chunk off that time as my rest time and consistently do my homework around 4-5pm. personally, i thrive off of more structure, so i tend to plan my whole day into chunks like that, but i would say just having 1-2 consistent time slots where you know, no matter what, that you have to do something then that helps you navigate the rest of your day as stress-free as possible!

write everything out in a calendar/planner! all of your assignments, exams, essays, etc., write it all out! it gives you perspective of what the whole semester will look like and makes everything seem a bit less scary

find something in your free time that motivates you in your school work. it could be following study blogs, watching legally blonde or gilmore girls, creating a study playlist, or watching video essays in a subject you’re learning about! it’s kind of weirdly fun to work on my political science knowledge and do research for my shitty atla politics essays, but still! i’m connecting something i love (atla) to what i may need to understand on a deeper level in my day to day life (international politics)

if you consistently deal with anxiety, mental illness, physical illness, or anything that can impede on your school work in a big way, make a consistent effort to start and finish assignments early. if you know you have a huge essay due in a month, try to get started on it asap. things like what i listed above can (and will) flare up at inopportune times and the last thing you need to deal with at those times is the stress of a paper. 

do your readings. seriously. especially if they are in your major (if you’re in university) do. the. readings. 

develop a (semi) healthy lifestyle! i’m not gonna tell you to work out or become a health nut or anything like that, but starting with a) eating every three hours, b) going to bed at a decent time, c) ensuring you go outside every day, and d) eating the nutrients your body needs will change your life. if you’re on tumblr theres like a 60% chance that you don’t have healthy sleeping habits (i’ve been there) but seriously, all those factors will reduce your anxiety IMMENSELY. i’m not being dramatic. the difference between having a panic attack over an essay and having a relatively good day can be a good night’s sleep. also, so many people don’t realize that their diet just doesn’t give them the nutrients they need (myself included)... accidentally forgetting to eat any protein for a couple of days genuinely turned me into an evil version of myself and now that i’m much more conscious that i eat what my body needs, my anxiety has gone way down

do not revolve your entire life around school. this is the most important one for me. my freshman year i spent all of my free time studying, working, and staying up all night doing my readings because that was what i thought was necessary. i thought that if i didn’t feel like i was going to die from stress then i just didn’t care enough, and this is the complete opposite of what you want to do. this mindset literally broke me and i had to completely break down and reconstruct my relationship with my academics. if you feel so frustrated that you want to cry, take a break for an hour. try not to study for longer than 30-45min at a time. set a time where you just put your books away and go watch a movie or go to bed. not only will this help your performance in class but it will help your health in the long run, trust me!

[withoutmonsters]

Summerboy

Read on AO3

It started as a summer fling. Steve and Billy attended the same college and, honestly, if Steve had seen Billy around campus, he would’ve spat in his face. Not to be rude or anything, but Steve thought that Billy looked like a grade-A jackass and wasn’t really afraid of saying it, either. But Steve hadn’t seen Billy around campus—he'd seen him at the beach, all miles of sun kissed skin and a grin that showed off too-sharp incisors that made Steve’s mouth water.

He had seen him, specifically, at a beach party, and his usual faculties had been mostly obscured by alcohol at that point, so he’d approached Billy. Stumbling and a little drunk, he’d slurred how pretty Billy was, how much he’d love to feel those teeth sliding down his skin and, well. That had led to a handjob under a blanket, staring up at the stars like they were a miracle, Billy’s voice low in Steve’s ear, and Steve’s world flipped upside down.

And after that? Getting margaritas at 2 in the afternoon because they were college students on summer break and didn’t really have anything better to do than get drunk in the middle of the afternoon, sloppy kisses at sunset while sprawled in hot sand, watching Billy surf in the morning and shopping for new clothes in the afternoon with the allowance Steve’s parents gave him. After that had been getting into nightclubs too late at night and grinding on each other just to creep out the guy who had been staring at them the whole night. It had been laughter over the phone at 2 in the morning because Steve was high out of his mind on Robin’s weed and didn’t want to be alone; it was lounging at the bar with drinks in hand, betting each other to see which other guy was gay or not.

It had been fun. Very fun. But—

But it wouldn’t end like that, Steve thought, watching Billy stretch on the balcony overlooking the beach. They were in Steve’s apartment, rented with his father’s money, and despite it being 11 o’clock in the morning, they had just gotten up. Billy was still lazy with sleep, languid and squinting from the faint hangover he must have.

Steve pulled on a shirt and stepped out on to the balcony, next to Billy. Billy turned his head, eyes still faintly bloodshot and hair an utter mess. He smiled.

“Morning, pretty boy.”

Steve smirked. “Barely, lazy bones.”

Billy scoffed. “Oh, like you’re any better.”

“Uh, yeah, I am. I’m wearing a shirt.” Steve gestured to his polo-clad torso.

Billy eyed the shirt, lips turning down. “Going somewhere, princess?”

Steve nodded. “Yup. Got a thing with my dad at one.”

Billy nodded. “I’ll be out of here by then, I guess.”

Steve frowned. “No, I’m leaving now. I have to see Isaac before I head over to the country club.”

“Isaac?” Billy sneered. “Seriously? Why are you still talking to that guy?”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Because I want to, asshole.”

“He’s a bratty twink who has more interest in your wallet than your dick, Steve.”

Steve stiffened. “He’s a friend.”

“A friend?” Billy scoffed. “Oh, so that’s what we’re calling it now? So what, am I your ‘friend’ now, too?”

Steve scowled, turning so he faced Billy head on. “Well, you’re not anything more, Billy. We agreed, at the start of this, that this was purely friends-with-benefits. You know what word that name has? That’s right—friends. So I don’t know what you’re getting so worked up about.”

“Oh, that’s rich,” Billy sneered. “Like this is still friends-with-benefits, Steve. You know as well as I do that it’s more than that and the only reason you don’t want to acknowledge it is because your daddy would never accept you dating a scholarship student.”

Steve reared back. “What does that mean?”

“It means that your dad is a full-on douchebag who is preventing you from being anything other than an airhead trust-fund kid and you know it.” Billy spat, face twisted and body tense.

Something oily and gross twisted in Steve’s stomach. “That’s not true. I’m not an airhead.”

Billy rolled his eyes. “I’m starting to think you’re nothing but an airhead, Stevie-boy.”

Steve flinched, hurt spearing through him at the nickname. Tommy had called him that, and then ripped out Steve’s heart when he’d ditched him for Carol. Billy knew Steve hated that nickname, and yet he used it anyway.

Billy stormed back inside, seizing his bag while shrugging on the crop-top he’d worn the night before, and then he was out the door. Steve was left staring at the empty living room of his apartment, feeling like he was going to cry.

He left soon after for Isaac’s, pulling up to the cramped apartment in downtown LA at 11:45 sharp. They were planning on getting lunch, but Steve wondered if Isaac was down to cancel and instead stay in. Maybe Steve could even talk Isaac into a blowjob. He needed to relax.

Steve pulled up at the country club at 1:30, several new hickies on his neck and his hair mussed. He slipped into the private meeting room filled with his father’s business advisors and sat down, grinning at his father’s face, which looked like he’d eaten a whole lemon.

At an opportune break during the lunch, Steve’s father pulled him aside.

“What are you doing, Steven?” He snarled, stiff and harsh.

Steve flinched. “I’m having lunch, Dad.”

“Lunch? You call waltzing in 30 minutes late to a very important meeting ‘having lunch’? No. What you’re doing is disgracing me and your mother. You come in here with those—bruises—on your neck and act like you’re being professional. You’re not. You’re a spoiled little child who needs to learn responsibility.”

Steve opened his mouth, “I - I’m sorry, Dad. I do know what responsibility is, I promise. It won’t happen again, I - ”

“No, it won’t.” Steve’s father cut him off. “Go home, Steven. We’ll talk later.”

Steve drew back, feeling tears pricking his eyes. He’d promised himself that he wouldn’t cry because of his father. No—he’d promised Billy, had sworn on his own right hand one night when he’d gotten too drunk and broken down about what an asshole his father was. Billy had made sympathetic noises, humming quietly while Steve curled up in his lap, tears trailing down his cheeks and hands clutched in Billy’s shirt. Billy had made him swear that Steve wouldn’t let his father’s condescending speeches get to him ever again. That he’d call Billy and they’d shoot the shit until Steve felt a little less like a child and more like himself—a successful business major who was at the top of his class.

But Billy was mad at him. And when Billy was mad, he could be cruel, and Steve didn’t think he could take anymore cruelty. He climbed back into his car, phone in hand, and called Robin.

“Well, well, if it isn’t the dingus himself.”

Steve sniffed. “Hey, Rob. Could I come over?”

He could hear Robin’s frown down the line. “Of course. What’s wrong, Steve? You sound sad.”

Steve nodded, then remembered she couldn’t see him. “I had a lunch with my dad. It didn’t go well.”

Robin made a sympathetic noise. “I’ll have the margaritas ready.”

Steve smiled. “Love you, Rob.”

She hummed a “Love you,” back, and hung up. Steve drove over to her place and parked down the street. Robin and her girlfriend, Heather, had a small apartment in Burbank, and Steve while he didn’t live anywhere near Burbank, he was over there a lot.

He walked into Robin’s apartment and flopped on her couch, closing his eyes and feeling his body sink into the couch. Robin came into the room, a margarita in each hand, and offered him one.

He cracked an eye and took it from her.

“So, what happened?” She asked, sitting beside him.

Steve lifted a shoulder in a shrug. “I went over to Isaac’s beforehand and was late. He didn’t like that all that much.”

Robin frowned. “You’re still talking to Isaac?”

“Yeah? Why wouldn’t I be?”

Robin raised her eyebrows. “Because you’re involved with Billy, and I got the sense that it was getting pretty serious.”

Steve opened his mouth, remembering Billy’s face when Steve had told him he was going over to Isaac’s. It had been stricken, like he’d been slapped. “We’re just friends-with-benefits, Rob.”

Robin snorted.

“What does that mean?” Steve asked, feeling attacked.

“It means, dingus, that your whole friends-with-benefits arrangement went out the window a long time ago. I mean, Billy asked you out to a real restaurant, Steve. That counts as a date.”

“No, it doesn’t!” Steve protested. “We were going to go to a beach party after. Billy just wanted to get some food in me beforehand because he knows I get way too drunk way too fast if I don’t eat.”

Robin raised an eyebrow. “Exactly. Since when does Billy keep track of people’s eating habits if he doesn’t care about them, Steve?”

Steve rolled his eyes. “I’m just not any fun if I’m blackout drunk, Robin. You know this just as well as he does.”

Robin was unimpressed. “Or maybe he’s just concerned for your well-being, Steve.”

Steve shook his head. “That’s not—Billy.”

And it wasn’t. Robin didn’t know Billy, not like Steve did. She didn’t know just how much effort Billy put into being emotionally distanced from just about everything. Steve would know if that changed, right?

“Uh huh, sure,” Robin said, sinking further down into the couch.

Steve stewed in her words for the rest of his visit. He returned to his apartment at around five, feeling worn out and tired. It was always like this when he fought with his father, but today had the additional strain of the fight with Billy, and now Steve felt like sleeping for a hundred years. It didn’t help that he was slightly drunk off the margaritas he’d had with Robin and Heather.

He thought back to their conversation. How Robin had acted like it was obvious that Steve and Billy were together, like together together, and everyone knew it but Steve. Was that true? Did Billy want to date, and Steve had just been an oblivious prick the whole time?

Steve remembered Billy’s words from that morning. His question, said in a voice that sounded so obvious.

Why are you still talking to that guy? Like Steve should be able to see from a mile away why Billy was asking that question.

Why was Steve still talking Isaac? Billy had been right—Isaac was more interested in the money than the sex, and frankly, he was boring to be around. He didn’t have much of a personality—not like Billy, who burned with one, like a whole forest fire contained to one body. The more Steve thought about it, the less talking to Isaac seemed like a good idea.

After all, Steve had started talking to him because he’d been a good substitute for attention when Billy was angry. He’d kept Isaac on the side because there were sometimes when Steve felt a pit of loneliness yawning open inside of him and he’d needed someone to take the edge off. That had originally been Billy’s purpose, but then they’d become something different, something more, and—

Shit. Robin was right.

Steve scrambled up from his couch and runs out the door, barely grabbing his keys and phone on the way out. He drove over to Billy’s place like a madman, parking out front and sprinting up the stairs to the second level. He pounded on Billy’s door.

Billy answered after the third bout of knocking, furious and disheveled. When he saw Steve, he leaned against the door frame, eyes sparked. “Well, well.”

Steve didn’t wait for him to say anything else. He just pushed forward and kissed Billy, hands frantic and lips searching. Billy froze for a moment, before melting into the kiss, body pressing forward and hands going to Steve’s waist. He opened his mouth, lazily pushing in and licking luxuriously. Steve nipped lightly at his lip and let his tongue trace Billy’s incisor before gently pulling away. Billy blinked like a cat under the sun, eyes going hazy and soft.

“What was that for, pretty boy?”

Steve let his eyes trace over Billy’s face before murmuring, “I’m sorry.”

Billy raised an eyebrow. “Sorry for what?”

“For being so oblivious? And for leading you on while still hooking up with someone else. It was cruel and rude and I shouldn’t have done it.”

Billy sucked in a breath, eyes wide and searching.

Steve bit his lip, mouth open but no other words coming out. Billy’s broad hands tightened at his waist and hauled him into the apartment, pressing him against the wall as the door clicked shut. He kissed Steve again, hot and hard, and drew back. “Do you really mean that, pretty boy?”

Steve nodded frantically. “Yes, Billy, yes. I do.”

Billy grinned and kissed him again.

[jaxsteamblog]

Sacrifice

Click here to read the full fic on AO3

There had not been enough dates. There hadn’t been enough video chats or text messages. Not enough tender embraces or fevered kisses.

A band was wrapped around Katara’s chest and she struggled with her shallow breaths.

“Hey, it’s okay.” Zuko whispered as he stroked her hand.

“Everything is going to change.” Katara said just as quietly. He kissed her hand, keeping it up by his lips as he spoke.

“Then we change with everything else.” He said.

People came to dress her, both her body and hair. Her hair was braided and coiled on top of her head. Beads of bone and glass were threaded in some ornate pattern known only to the first of their people. Her robes were heavy and the fur collar tickled her nose.

And Zuko sat on a couch watching her, smiling whenever she caught his eye in the mirror.

Katara tried to tell herself that finals had been more stressful, that this would be nothing, but her blood thundered loud enough to deafen her. As the crashing waves of her pulse drowned out everything else, Zuko held her hand.

At least he was finally wearing his hearing aid.

The ritual passed over her like the tide. People spoke words like incantations and she either repeated them or agreed to them, depending on the script in her mind. She was crowned and set to walk to the icy shore, the cape of her people trailing behind her. Katara led them in the darkness, while Yue lit their way.

At the ocean, Katara stripped down to her basic covering. The arctic air blew over her and she trembled. Her feet went numb instantly as the water rushed onto her.

Then La accepted her, and the ocean did not harm her. Yue-as-Tui blessed her and the moonlight kept her covered. Katara walked into the water and kept her blood circulating. She pushed; Yue pulled. Yue called and Katara answered.

In the light of the full moon, Katara could see the black strands of her hair; loops of braids swung back and forth as she walked deeper into the surf. The ocean glowed blue like an iceberg, and a swell took her under.

It was an ancient rite that had not been done in generations. A Waterbender ruler made an offering of themself to the moon and the ocean. If the ruler was rejected, they would be drowned. Luckily, Katara knew the moon spirit and harbored the ocean inside of her.

When she walked back onto the beach of slush, people immediately swarmed her. She was wrapped in robes and picked up bodily. Zuko took her up, channeling heat into her as they all made the way back to the palace.

The great hall was lit with impossible fires and people rejoiced in a frenzy that only near death could bring. Katara was alive and had been approved; the Water Tribes had their first legitimate ruler in over a hundred years.

It was then that Katara could hear again.

She sat on the highest throne; the others to her sides where the masters usually sat were empty. On the ground below, long ice tables had been pulled up. Massive platters of food were displayed, music came from some unseen corner, and a large fire glowed while still surrounded by ice. Zuko stood beside her, his arm draped over the back of her throne. His head bobbed to the music and he was watching the revelry.

“It’s unseemly for you to stand so casually here.” Katara said and Zuko smiled down at her before crouching.

“I was thinking about that.” He started and Katara shifted. Someone else had dried her, but there were still damp spots along her sides and behind her knees. It made her stick to her clothes and she moved uneasily.

“It’s not so bad.” Zuko said, misreading her face.

“What isn’t?” She asked.

“What if I gave up the throne?” He asked in return.

“What?”

They looked at each other and Zuko tilted his head, swinging it back to look at the other people. When he didn’t reply right away, Katara turned and settled, looking down as well. Arnook and Hadoka held the attention of a large group as Hakoda told some booming story. Sokka, Suki, and Thuy were surrounded by others; the young folk of the tribes.

People from the South Pole and the Swamp were here; both tribes uneasy in the grandeur of the palace. So the young adults, the ones who would be expected to lead their families, started to take advice from the war heroes and the Avatar.

No one approached Katara. Except for Zuko, she was alone on her throne.

“Arnook was right. You can’t date someone from another royal family.” Zuko said.

“Why not?” Katara asked.

“Come on, you know why.” Zuko said.

“In fact, I don’t. If it’s the case of inheritance, well, there’s still a chance that I might not have a Waterbender child of my own even if I were to marry someone from the tribes. And for you? Could you imagine how much good it would do to unite our kingdoms? I’m not even saying permanently, but if we were to have children, that would be the trust of siblings on two thrones.” Katara said. When she stopped, she stood and shrugged off the blanket over her shoulders.

“Then the next generation would be cousins, and so on, but always bound by the thinnest thread of blood. Who’s to say that’s not enough to stop another war?” Katara asked and looked down at Zuko. His eyes glittered with firelight and he smiled. He stood with grace; a flame moving sinuously upward with exhalation.

“It would make a lot of people nervous.” He said.

Katara smiled. “We’ve only just started dating. Let them be nervous, I won’t sacrifice my happiness because they fear the worst.”

Zuko lowered his chin to his chest as he chuckled. Then, standing straight, he held out his arm. Katara took it gently and they walked down the ice steps to the party.

The crowd parted as they approached and Zuko held her for a moment in the center of the floor. As if they were in a movie, the musicians took their cue and started to play. Katara, in her flowing ice blue skirts, smiled as Zuko spun her out an arm’s length. The beads in her hair clinked and the white fur hem of her dress swept softly on the ice. Pulling her back, Zuko placed his hand on her waist and led her through the steps of a rushing waltz.

He wore red and was an ember in her vision in a sea of blues and indigos. Without a parka or boots, Zuko looked as if he were about to step out into an autumn afternoon. But he smiled and held her, so Katara could feel the warmth of him.

“My father is not pleased.” Zuko said and Katara snorted.

“For dating the Ice Queen?” She asked.

“For loving her.”

Katara fell quiet and went gliding as Zuko pushed her through the steps. When he looked at her, his gaze still filled with sparks, she looked away.

This was something she had thought about, after Thuy spoke to her of elements and balance. Too much fire could boil away a whole pot of water, but too much water could put out a fire. Everything would have to be done in equal measure; if one of them gave too much, it would end it all.

“What is it?” Zuko asked. Katara bit her lip and looked up at him.

“Fire Prince just doesn’t sound as dramatic as Ice Queen.” She said. Zuko laughed and they stepped easily into a turn.

“Well, if we’re going to get technical, you’re not even the Queen of Ice. You’re queen of people who mostly live on ice. The rest live in a swamp.” He retorted.

The music stopped and they came to a halt, still holding each other.

“Then I have to just say it.” Katara said and pushed herself closer. “I love you as well.”

She kissed him and barely registered the stunned gasps in the background.

“WOO!” Thuy shouted, and Zuko smiled against Katara’s lips.

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[successfullyadhd]

im 31, and after over a decade of trying to figure out what is wrong with me, my therapist and I are finally thinking it’s ADHD. i’ve had a gut feeling about it for a while and every ADHD post is relatable. now the problem is finding an place that does adult assessments and is affordable (no insurance). do you have any tips on going through the assessment as an adult? and if i can’t afford it, and can’t get medication. how do i ever become the productive focused person i want to be? thanks.

Sorry in advance for the long post... I put the most relevant bits in bold for a TL;DR version.

 I know getting diagnosed as an adult can seem daunting, but you shouldn’t worry too much. While ADHD was once viewed as something that only affected children, it is now widely recognized as a lifelong disorder and you shouldn’t have to fear being dismissed because you weren’t diagnosed early in life. It’s extremely helpful that you have been seeing a therapist, and they also think you have ADHD. Ask them to send over their notes when you do go to the doctor.

As for how to get diagnosed - I’ll start by saying I hate the way American healthcare is set up, as medication and healthcare in general are expensive. I have to move frequently for me and my husband’s jobs (we both work in hospitality, and as the saying goes, “You have to move out to move up!”). Because most (all?) ADHD medications are a Schedule II drug (highly regulated but still legal), I have to get rediagnosed in every new state. I always bring my past history, but most doctors want to complete testing as they are monitored for prescribing stimulants and can lose their license if found to be providing this medication without ample documentation. (All of this to say - I have been through the procedure many times as an adult.) Depending on the state, some doctors also require bloodwork and an EKG to ensure you are healthy enough to receive the medication (although some will accept past test results if done recently enough.) Also depending on the state and doctor, they may have additional requirements. In Florida, my doctor wanted a multitude of tests, and asked for a sleep study to ensure the medication wasn’t causing poor sleep. In California, as part of the Kaiser HMO system, I was required to do periodic drug tests to ensure I wasn’t also using street drugs, and to check that the Adderall was in my system (as a test that I was using it as prescribed, and not selling it). Some states are much easier – Utah, Alabama and West Virginia all were able to diagnose me in one appointment and prescribed the medication same day. Last, a General Practitioner won’t typically prescribe it and will direct you to a psychiatrist. Even if you did have insurance, most don’t cover psychiatrists or if they do, it comes with a different deductible (because obviously mental health isn’t part of regular health (heavy sarcasm)). After diagnosing, you have to meet with the doctor once a month to get the prescription refilled – due to the Schedule II status, they can’t have it on an auto-refill like other medications and they need to ensure you aren’t abusing it or having negative side effects. (although the one good thing to come out of COVID is that it normalized tele-health appointments, since an in-person meeting with a doctor once a month can be difficult to schedule). Even though I have health insurance, I typically pay out of pocket $120 a month for my visit with the doctor, and after insurance and a coupon I pay $73 for two medications (Adderall & Vyvanse). I’m fortunate now to be able to afford that expense – at the times in my life where I couldn’t, I would request a 30 day supply of the more affordable pills and only take medication on days where I couldn’t function without it (such as doing large amounts of paperwork) and try to use learned behavior techniques the rest of the time, to stretch out my resources.

As far as what goes into the actual diagnosis – doctors most commonly use a questionnaire about your daily life to assess you. Here is a link to commonly-used questionnaires: https://www.additudemag.com/adhd-assessments-and-tests/.

I know I just made it seem very daunting to get diagnosed and on a medication, but I want to be honest with you about what the process looks like, and again, depending on where you live it can be done in one session. Now that is out of the way, let me give you some information that is more helpful:

If you can, skip asking a regular GP for a referral and make an appointment directly with a psychiatrist. This will save you the extra cost of the doctor’s appointment, just to be told someone else will help. Many places have low cost mental health centers and ADHD falls into that realm, so I would check out what is available in your city. Before making an appointment, confirm the following:

-          Do they diagnose ADHD?

-          Do they prescribe medication? (Therapists don’t prescribe, only psychiatrists, and some will not prescribe ADHD medication at all so it’s important to be clear that it is your intention to receive medication if diagnosed)

-          What tests do they require for diagnosing, and prescribing medication? (Some places may have more or less requirements, and it can even vary within a city or state. This way you will know if it’s something you can afford at the time.)

Talk with the doctor about your specific situation, and what medications are affordable without insurance. Adderall, for example, is past the 10 year exclusive patent and now has a generic version available. It comes in quick release and slow release, depending on your needs. You can also talk to the doctor about a prescription to both quick and slow release, so you take the correct medicine based on your needs for that day (marathon work day? Slow release that extends over the entire day. Afternoon project – quick release that lasts for four hours). Vyvanse is great but doesn’t have a generic version and is insanely expensive without insurance (to the tune of $350+). Use the GoodRX app to find deals on medication without insurance (Adderall is about $15 for a month supply with this app). There are a ton of drug options so look up the pricing during the doctor’s visit, so you can confirm that you can afford what they prescribe. Also keep in mind that getting a prescription filled is the same cost whether you get 1 pill or 30 (a fact I learned the hard way when getting a 10 pill prescription filled once.)

 If you read all that and thought, Thanks but no thanks, here are some other options:

-          My psychiatrist in Florida recommended that I take Rhodiola Rosea supplements in addition to medication, as it has clinically proven positive effects on ADHD symptom control. I found it on Amazon. Omega-3 fatty acid supplements are also proven effective.

-          If you’re interested in this sort of thing, here is a super comprehensive study of various dietary supplements and behavior modifications that work or don’t work for ADHD: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4968082/

-          Practicing meditation is a great way to relax your body (increased stress, while helpful for short-term tasks, can make ADHD symptoms worse long term) and train your mind to hold onto singular, important thoughts (people’s names, why you walked into the kitchen, etc). I use the Waking Up app and love it – there are also many free options in the App Store and on YouTube.

-          Regular exercise is another great way to manage ADHD symptoms, as it gives your body a natural serotonin and dopamine boost, two important chemicals your body has trouble producing and absorbing naturally.

-          Caffeine is a great, easily accessible stimulant that has a focusing and calming effect on ADHD individuals. My doctor actually asked my parents to give me coffee each morning before school when I was a child, before we moved onto prescriptions.

-          Often, there are other factors that go along with ADHD, such as anxiety and/or depression. Getting this under control can go a long way in managing ADHD as well. I’m not sure if you have any issues with those, but it can be helpful to treat both if you do. The medication Wellbutrin is used to treat depression and also has mild stimulants, which would be helpful for both conditions. It isn’t a Schedule II drug, so you can probably ask your doctor for a 3 or 6 month prescription.

-          There are a ton more mind hacks and learned behavioral mechanisms you can try – read some of my other posts for suggestions.

Of course, I have to give the legal disclaimer – all of this is based on my personal experience, I’m not licensed in the medical field in any way and only a doctor can give you proper advice for your body and situation, and what medications will be most helpful. 😊

[reallifesultanas]

A mohácsi csata áldozatairól, 1526 egy másik szemszögből / About the victims of the battle of Mohács, 1526 from a different perspective

This post consisted of the translation of several recent Hungarian articles about the excavation of mass graves related to the battle of Mohács. The articles are listed at the sources.

Painting of Than Mór

Prologue

History is something that needs to be examined objectively in all cases, especially when someone is writing educational articles about it. However, there are times when this is difficult. At the end of the portrait of Sultan Suleiman, I have already referred to this in the epilogue. Then I wrote:

"As a Hungarian, the research about Suleiman is a very complex task, because objectivity is the basis of every historical research, but it is difficult to ignore the often cruel acts committed by the Ottomans against the Hungarians. My feelings about Suleiman are always mixed, for we can “thank” him for the fragmentation of our country, but on the other hand he was such a glorious ruler, that only a few like him lived in history. And his death always fills him with shivers. I respect this 71-year-old man, who wants to die as a glorious sultan with his last strength, but in vain he wants, Szigetvár just doesn’t want to fall. I respect his perseverance, but at the same time, I am extremely proud that Miklós Zrínyi and the other defenders defended Szigetvár so strongly and gloriously! Unawares, I ask myself what would have happened if the news of the sultan’s death came to light? If Sokollu can’t keep it a secret? The soldiers might have collapsed, and the defenders with Zrínyi would give new strength and the history of Szigetvár would turn out differently… "

In connection with the battle of Mohács, this feeling is even stronger. This was one of the bloodiest battles between Suleiman and the Hungarians. And it was full of cruelty. I have already referred to this in my youtube video about the life of Bali Bey, as it was Bali Bey who was sent forward to the capital city after the battle of Mohács and Bali Bey was the one who executed unarmed civilians despite they surrendered and asked for mercy. One might think that it was only Bali Bey who was cruel and would try to find excuses for Suleiman, but the events in Mohács make it clear that Suleiman himself had a similar opinion about us Hungarians.

But what happened at Mohács?

Although Suleiman's intention had been known since the beginning of 1525, the weakened Kingdom of Hungary did not have sufficient resources to build a defense system. Contributing to this was the fact that the Hungarian nobility did not hold together, did not take the threat seriously, and was very divided. By the time the threat became apparent, it was too late. In vain did they ask for help from the other Christian empires, they received only promises. The only one who would have actually been willing to help was Henry VIII, but he made the decision too late. By the time he decided, there was no chance to save the Kingdom of Hungary. Henry's soldiers sent for help reached Pozsony in 1527.

The Hungarian army, which thus consisted of only 24,800 men, was equipped with 85 cannons (53 of which were in use), and a few more Croatian corps were available. The forces of the Ottoman army are put on sixty thousand regular sipahis and janissaries, but this, according to historical research today, is too much, the regular stock of the entire Ottoman army was sixty to seventy thousand, and it did not take part in this battle. In fact, the number of elite units could have been 30,000, with the addition of irregular troops, asabs and akincis, and other units. Thus the Turkish army of sixty thousand was formed from this.

Ottoman miniature about the battle of Mohács.

The Hungarians were already lined up at the dawn of the battle-day. The Ottoman army began to appear in the early afternoon. The army was led by the Rumelians, followed by the Sultan with the court mercenary armies, and finally the Anatolian corps. It tells a lot about their difficulties that although they set off from the camp early in the morning and were only had to cover a distance of 10 km, yet, the Rumelians arrived around noon, and Anatolian Corps arrived on the edge of the terrace with an additional delay of 1-2 hours. According to sources, the troops were so tired that the sultan held a council, as a result of which they decided to postpone the battle and gave the order to camp.

Presumably, the Hungarian military leadership also learned that the Rumelians were building the camp and so some nobles recommended that the Hungarian king should return to their own camp. However, the king's chief advisers suggested the opposite, expecting that if the battle was fought that day, they could defeat the sultan's army in parts individually. Indeed, it was the only chance to win. Lajos II therefore ordered the attack.

The court mercenaries led by the sultan may have been on the edge of the terrace resting, the Rumelians had already built their camp when parts of the Hungarian army stormed them in full gallop. In any case, the attack of the cavalry caused confusion in the Rumelian corps, and the Turks began to flee. Backward, however, the side of the terrace blocked the way, so they split in two directions. In the meantime, the Janissaries who arrived at the scene welcomed the Hungarians with gunfire, so they were forced to retreat. With their retreat, the battle was essentially over.

The other Hungarian corps could not reverse the status of the battle either, the part of the cavalry that survived the Janissaries' gunfires had already fled, but the infantry fighting in front of the cannons was surrounded by the Ottomans and most of them were slaughtered. In the battle of just one and a half to two hours, the Hungarian army suffered a devastating defeat. 4,000 cavalry, 10,000 infantry, 7 bishops - including Archbishop Tomori and another main bishop László Szalkai of Esztergom and another 5 bishops - and 16 ensigns and 12 lords fell. Tomori's body was found by Suleiman, and his head was tied to a spike in front of Suleiman's tent. His peculiar cruelty is a good indication that Suleiman was particularly angry, and although they had won thanks to their headcount superiority, the Hungarian army successfully surprised them due to the poor field conditions.

Map for the battle. Source: http://www.e-kompetencia.si/egradiva/zgo_ds/17%20mohacs/index31.html

The causes and significance of the defeat are still the subjects of heated debate to this day. According to some, the reasons for the defeat are the divisive Hungarian nobility and the deliberate delay of János Szapolyai, the later King John I. However, based on our current knowledge, the blame for Szapolyai does not acceptable. Even if he wanted, Szapolyai could not have reached Mohács, because Szapolyai was still waiting in Torda on 15 August, a good 400 km from the battle site, and on 29 August he was only in the area of ​​Szeged. According to others, under those circumstances, no European state formation, including Hungary, would have had a chance to win against the Ottoman Empire, which had the most modern and equipped forces in the world at that time. However, if the other Christian empires had given support to the Hungarians, the outcome of the battle would not have been so clear.

After the end of the battle, the Turks were armed all night, waiting for the Hungarian main forces... That main forces which actually was already slaughtered. Only after some time, the sultan realized that there is no other army, that's was the whole. So after the surprising victory, Suleiman gave a short rest to his army, and then they started to march for the main goal of his campaign to Buda. The raiders marched in front of him and also robbed, destroyed cities, and executed unarmed civilians begging for mercy. Meanwhile, on August 30, news of the loss of the battle arrived in the capital, by which time the entire court had fled to Pozsony that night. The next day, almost the entire population followed them. The sultan arrived in Buda on September 12. He inspected the castle, on the 14th the city was set on fire, the treasures found in the palace were placed on a ship, including the giant cannon that János Hunyadi had captured in 1456 under Nándorfehérvár. The Sultan's army marched back to Istanbul on September 25th. By then, his raiders had destroyed the areas around the capital from Eger to Győr. Only a few walled cities escaped.

After the battle of Mohács, the country's capital, Buda, was defenseless. The king and with him a significant part of the nobility died, and there were difficulties in organizing further defenses. Practically only the Transylvanian army of 15,000 men remained under the command of János Szapolyai, but he could not and would not fight. He had no choice but to make a deal with the Ottoman Sultan. That's how he became the vassal of the Ottomans and the king of what remained from Hungary.

Painting of Bertalan Székely about the funeral of Lajos II.

Discovery of mass graves

In 1902, miller Demeter Pavlovics wanted to build a trade next to the mill on the Csele stream, but his workers found bones during the extraction of the land, which bones were then found in such quantities that the work itself was obstructed. Most of the bones were already strongly calcified, although some skulls and teeth remained almost completely intact. As they found coins of Lajos II near the miller's place it was possible to link the bones he found to the battle [1].

Although mass graves have been examined several times since then, thanks to advances in science these days, now it is possible to extract information from the grave. The 500th anniversary of the Battle of Mohács is approaching, and this round anniversary and the associated subsidies have greatly helped to establish this huge national cooperation in the excavation of the mass graves. Especially since they want to rebury the remnants of the martyrs on the occasion of the anniversary.

Of the five mass graves currently known in Mohács, the number three is now under investigation, it is the smallest though, about 15 square meters. The identification of bone remains is a huge professional challenge for anthropologists, emphasized György Pálfi, Head of Department of Biological Anthropology, University of Szeged [2].

The mass grave number three on the photography of György Pálfi. Source: [3].

Who and how many can be in the mass graves?

It was already successfully discovered in the 1960s that victims of Christian armies were found in the graves. This could be determined on the basis of the highlighted number of German, Czech and Hungarian coins. We know: Lajos II's army was made up of Hungarian, Transylvanian, German, Polish and Czech soldiers, and even a small number of Croats and Serbs were present in the army [3].

Examining the graves revealed a chaotic sight for the researchers. Looking at the mass grave excavated by archaeologists and prepared for anthropological research, the incredible mixing of human bone remains is astounding to the expert as well. The examination of the mass grave number three and the identification of bone remains is a huge professional challenge for anthropologists, as in addition to the confusion of the many human bones, the extraordinary decay conditions due to the special burial and the subsequent damaging factors, also make the work harder [3].

In the 1970s, the number of dead in the case of mass grave number three, was estimated at around 130, but it is now clear that the compaction in the lower strata and especially at the edges of the grave pit is much greater than expected. It is now visible that the skeletons were compressed in an almost irrationally small place. Based on this, it is believed that the previously estimated number of deads in the mass grave can be doubled. Researchers estimate the number of remains in mass grave number three, which is the smallest among the mass graves, to 300 [3].

Due to the entanglement of skeletons, researchers often have to proceed in parallel with the remains of 8-10 individuals. As a result of the tests, the number of registered bone remains varies. It often turns out that the skull and the skeleton of a person do not really belong together at a glance, in which case the numbers increase. But the opposite also happens. For example, skeletal remains, which were considered separate in 1976, were also reexamined and they found it belongs to the same person, resulting in a decrease in numbers. Exploring bones, often chaotically mixed, is quite time-consuming. The skeletons accumulate in several layers in the mass grave number three [3].

Anthropological observations may also clarify the conclusions that can be drawn from archaeological finds. The people in the mass grave in Mohács are Christians. The excavation and anthropological identification of skeletons of one of the five mass graves known so far have begun. Based on the approximately 200 human remains, 90 percent of the people in the Mohács mass graves are young or relatively young adults, 18-40 years old. A smaller number of adolescents because they also identified people who died around the age of 14-16. They have encountered one or two adolescent children aged 12–13 years, some older men, and a skeleton that can be identified almost certainly and two presumably as women [3].

Can the results help to find the exact location of the battle scene?

Identifying the location of the battlefield is still unresolved. Archaeologist Gábor Bertók - who is the leader of the present excavation - and his staff are constantly looking for the site of the battle of August 29, 1526. This is assumed to be on the outskirts of the village of Majs, because large quantities of rifle bullets, weapon fragments, and plenty of horseshoes were found there. Of the approximately 250 projectiles, nearly 170, or more than two-thirds of the finds, are relatively small compared to the size of a typical rifle bullet of the age: 10 to 15 millimeters. Exploration of the mass grave can also contribute to the identification of the battlefield. Namely, when highlighting bone remains, researchers found such a small rifle bullet, next to the spine of a skeleton. It was also found that this man had been executed, based on the ijuries on his skull and neck. Because of the bullet “preserved” in his body and now find, we can conclude that the skeleton belongs to a prisoner of war who was wounded in the Battle of Mohács, but his injury was not fatal but was later executed as wounded and thrown into this mass grave [3].

Since it is indisputable that the size of the bullet in the victim's body is the same as that found in an area 4-5 kilometers from the mass grave, it is also clear that the victim was injured in battle. This projectile could give another boost to research related to the battlefield. In the near future there will be intensive archaeological excavations in the area, as by 2026, the 500th anniversary of the Battle of Mohács, archaeologists want to find the most probable place for the battle so that we can remember the historical turning point 500 years earlier. Thus, since the victim was certainly executed after the Battle of Mohács and the bullet found in his body is the same as the bullets discovered in the nearby area, it can be safely assumed that the battlefield was 4-5 kilometers from the mass graves [3].

Painting of Bertalan Székely about the battle. The area was very swampy as it is visble in the painting as well.

Who can these people be in the grave? Were they died during the battle or executed later?

Some suggest that based on the head injuries, they may have been the victims of the "Hungarian chariot camp" cut down by the Turks. What was this cart camp? After the battle of Mohács, the country's capital, Buda, was defenseless. The king and with him a significant part of the nobility died, and there were difficulties in organizing further defenses. The only serious resistance during the march of the Ottomans toward Buda, was gathered near Pusztamarót for an "army" of 25,000 peasants, setting up a chariot camp, but they were also quickly smashed and slaughtered by the well-armed Ottomans [3]. In fact, this version is not very possible, as Pusztamarót is a long way from the place of the mass graves.

Other researchers had previously considered the place of mass graves to be the site of the battle. There is also a third option, based on written memoirs of the “great public execution after the battle”. It is known from the archives of Suleiman I that the next day of the battle of Mohács the sultan ordered a large solemn gathering, watched the procession of his glorious army from the tent, and then led the prisoners of war in front of him. He did not allow his lieutenants to keep prisoners of war but organized a large public collective execution. So far we have known - actually from Suleiman's archives - that more than two thousand prisoners of war have been executed after the Battle of Mohács. Based on a 1976 surface survey, it was estimated that about a thousand people's skeletons are buried in the five mass graves. However, based on the new investigations of the third mass grave, researchers believe that the number of skeletons found in the mass graves in Mohács may be more than double of the previously suggested 1000. This is relatively in line with the number of people executed by Suleiman. And a thorough examination of the victims also makes this option more and more likely, as the examination of human skeletal remains at the third mass grave shows that it is the mass grave of wounded people. Researchers have identified a number of cases where it is clear from the trace that a kneeling man with a bowed head was killed from behind. A human skeleton has also been found showing that that man was struck from above two or three times 494 years ago. Several cases have been uncovered where the same cervical vertebrae have been cut twice in parallel, which is very difficult to imagine during battle. Based on the contemporary descriptions and the drawing of the execution after the Battle of Nikápoly more than 100 years ago, it can be assumed that the soldiers captured at Mohács were executed in a similar way by the Sultan. Thus, the third mass grave of the Mohács National Historical Monument shows barbaric post-massacre conditions [3].

Sword traces on a skull highlighted from a mass grave. Photo: György Pálfi. Source: [3].

Cut marks on the cervical vertebrae suggesting beheading. Photo: György Pálfi. Source: [3].

What's next?

Anthropological examination of the mass grave may continue in the spring. Removal of the remains can be done in 3-4 months, but laboratory processing of the findings can take years. During this time, anthropological and, if necessary, genetic methods can be used to isolate the remains of individual victims, but they can also reach facial reconstruction through radiological and genetic analyzes. The main goal is to sort the remains of the martyrs buried in a humiliating way for the 500th anniversary of the Battle of Mohács and then bury them in individual graves [2].

Used sources: [1]: http://ujkor.hu/content/mohacsi-tomegsirok-nyomaban-korabbi-es-legujabb-feltarasok [2]: https://mult-kor.hu/a-szegedi-tudomanyegyetem-antropologusai-is-reszt-vesznek-a-mohacsi-tmegsir-feltarasaban-20201209 [3]: https://u-szeged.hu/mohacsi-csata?objectParentFolderId=19396

*    *    *

Ez a poszt a mohácsi csatához kapcsolódó tömegsírok feltárásáról szóló több friss magyar nyelvú cikk fordításából állt össze. A cikkek a forrásoknál listázva vannak.

Prológus

A történelem egy olyan dolog, melyet minden esetben objekíven kell figyelni, különösen ha valaki ezzel kapcsolatos ismeretterjesztő írásokat készít. Vannak azonban esetek mikor ez nehéz. Szulejmán szultán portréjának végén az epilógusban már utaltam erre. Akkor ezt írtam:

"Magyarként Szulejmán tanulmányozása igen összetett feladat, hiszen mert bár az objektivitás a történelmi kutatások alapja, nehéz eltekinteni a sokszor kegyetlen cselekedetektől, melyet az oszmánok követtek el a magyarok ellen. Szulejmánnal kapcsolatban mindig vegyesek az érzéseim, ugyanis neki “köszönhetjük” az ország feldarabolódását, de a másik oldalról egy olyan dicső uralkodó volt, amihez fogható kevés élt a történelemben. Halála pedig mindig borzongással tölt el. Tisztelem ezt a 71 éves férfit, aki utolsó erejével dicső szultánként akar meghalni, de hiába akarja annyira, Szigetvár csak nem akar elesni. Tisztelem a kitartását, ugyanakkor borzasztóan büszke vagyok, hogy ilyen erősen és dicsőn védték Szigetvárt Zrínyi Miklós és a többi védő! Akaratlanul is eszembe jut, mi történt volna, ha a szultán halálának híre kiderül? Ha Sokollu nem tudja titokban tartani? A katonák talán összeomlottak volna, Zrínyiék pedig új erőre kapnak és Szigetvár története talán máshogyan alakul…"

A mohácsi csatával kapcsolatban ez az érzés még sokkal erősebb. Ez volt ugyanis az egyik legvéresebb csata Szulejmán és a magyarok közt. És tele volt kegyetlenkedéssel. Erre a Bali Bég életéről szóló youtube videómban már tettem utalást, Bali Bég volt az, akit Szulejmán a mohácsi csata után előreküldött a főváros felé és Bali Bég volt az, aki fegyvertelen civileket végeztetett ki annak ellenére, hogy azok megadták magukat és könyörületet kértek. Gondolhatnánk, hogy Bali Bég volt csupán kegyetlen, mentegethenénk Szulejmánt, ám a mohácsi események egyértelművé teszik, hogy Szulejmán maga is hasonló véleményen volt rólunk magyarokról.

Than Mór festménye a mohácsi csatáról.

Na de mi is történt Mohácson?

Bár 1525 eleje óta tudott volt Szulejmán szándéka a meggyengült Magyar Királyságnak nem volt elegendő forrása, hogy védelmi rendszert építsen ki. Ehhez az is hozzájárult, hogy a magyar nemesség nem fogott össze, nem vette komolyan a fenyegetést és nagyon széthúztak. Mire a fenyegetés nyilvánvalóvá vált, már késő volt. Hiába kértek ekkor segítséget a többi keresztény birodalomtól, csupán ígérgetéseket kaptak. Az egyetlen, aki végül ténylegesen hajlandó lett volna segíteni VIII. Henrik volt, ám ő is későn döntött. Mire döntött, már esély sem volt megmenteni a Magyar Királyságot. Henrik segítsége 1527-ben érte el Pozsonyt.

A magyar sereg, amely így mindössze 24 800 emberből állott, 85 ágyúval volt felszerelve (ebből 53 került használatba), s még néhány horvát hadtest állt rendelkezésre. Az oszmán hadsereg erőit hatvanezer reguláris szpáhira és janicsárra teszik, ez azonban a mai történelmi kutatások szerint túl sok, a teljes oszmán haderő reguláris állománya volt hatvan-hetvenezer, s ebben a csatában az nem vett részt. Valójában az elit egységek száma 30 ezer fő lehetett, amelyhez hozzájöttek az irreguláris csapatok, az aszabok és az akindzsik és a többi egység. Így ebből állt össze a hatvanezer fős török sereg.

Török miniatúra a mohácsi csatáról.

A magyarok a csata hajnalán már felsorakoztak. Az oszmán sereg kora délután kezdett kibontakozni. A csapatok hadrendben vonultak fel, már amennyire ezt a terep megengedte. A sereg élén a ruméliaiak haladtak, mögöttük a szultán az udvari zsoldos hadakkal, és végül az anatóliai hadtest következett. Nehézségeikről sokat elárul, hogy bár a táborból kora reggel útnak indultak, és a csatatérig csupán kb. 10 km-es távolságot kellett megtenniük, mégis, a ruméliaiak dél körül, a derékhad és az anatóliai hadtest pedig 1-2 óra további késéssel érkezett meg a terasz peremére. A források szerint a csapatok annyira elfáradtak, hogy a szultán haditanácsot tartott, melynek eredményeként a csata elhalasztása mellett döntöttek, és parancsot adtak a táborverésre.

Feltehető, hogy a magyar hadvezetés is értesült arról, hogy a ruméliaiak tábort vernek, és a királynak a táborba való visszatérést ajánlották. A király főbb tanácsadói azonban az ellenkezőjét javasolta, arra számítva, hogy ha aznap vívják a csatát, külön-külön verheti meg a szultáni sereg egyes részeit. Valóban ez volt az egyetlen esély a győzelemre. II. Lajos ezért parancsot adott a támadásra.

A szultán vezette udvari zsoldosok a terasz szélén lehettek, s talán már meg is kezdték leereszkedésüket a magaslat pereméről, a ruméliaiak pedig már a tábort építették, amikor a magyar jobbszárny teljes vágtában megrohamozta őket. Mindenesetre a jobbszárny lovasságának támadása zavart idézett elő a ruméliai hadtestnél, és a törökök menekülni kezdtek. Hátrafelé azonban a terasz oldala elzárta az utat, ezért két irányba szétváltak. Időközben a helyszínre ért janicsárok sortüzekkel fogadták a magyarokat, így azok kénytelenek voltak visszavonulni. Azzal, hogy az első lovasroham kifulladt, lényegében a csata is eldőlt.

A többi magyar csapat sem tudta megfordítani a csata állását, a lovasságnak a janicsárok sortüzeit túlélő része ekkor már menekült, ám az ágyúk előtt harcoló gyalogságot az oszmánok bekerítették, és nagy részüket lemészárolták. Az alig másfél-két órás csatában a magyar sereg megsemmisítő vereséget szenvedett. Elesett 4000 lovas, 10 000 gyalogos, 7 püspök – köztük a fővezér Tomori és Szalkai László esztergomi érsek és másik 5 püspök – és 16 zászlósúr, valamint 12 főúr. Tomori holttestét Szulejmán megkerestette, fejét pedig a sátra előtt karóra tűzette. Különös kegyetlensége jól jelzi, hogy Szulejmán különösen dühös volt, és bár a túlerőnek hála nyertek, a magyar sereg a rossz terepi körülményeknek köszönhetően sikerrel lepte meg őt.

Térkép a csatához. Forrás: http://www.e-kompetencia.si/egradiva/zgo_ds/17%20mohacs/index31.html

A vereség okai és jelentősége a mai napig éles viták tárgya. Egyesek szerint a vereség okai a széthúzó magyar nemesség és Szapolyai János, a későbbi I. János király szándékos késlekedése. Mai ismereteink alapján azonban Szapolyai hiábztatása nem igen állja meg a helyét. Szapolyai ha akart volna, se érhetett volna Mohácsra, mert Szapolyai augusztus 15-én még Tordán várakozott, jó 400 km-re a csata helyszínétől, augusztus 29-én pedig Szeged térségében volt csupán. Mások szerint azon körülmények között az akkori világ legmodernebb és legfelszereltebb haderejével rendelkező Oszmán Birodalommal szemben esélye sem lett volna a győzelemre egyetlen európai államalakulatnak, így Magyarországnak sem. Azonban ha a többi keresztény birodalom támogatást ad a magyaroknak, a csata kimenetele korántsem lett volna ennyire egyértelmű.

A csata vége után a törökök egész éjjel fegyverben voltak, várták a magyar főerőket, csak miután a szultán számára is világossá vált a némileg meglepő győzelem, rövid pihenőt adott hadának, majd megindult hadjáratának fő célja, Buda felé. A kiküldött portyázók előtte jártak, és raboltak, pusztítottak, kegyelemért könyörgő fegyvertelen civileket is. Eközben augusztus 30-án a csatavesztés híre megérkezett a fővárosba, mire az egész udvartartás még aznap éjjel elmenekült Pozsonyba. Másnap csaknem az egész lakosság követte őket. A szultán szeptember 12-én érkezett Budára. Megszemlélte a várat, 14-én felgyújtották a várost, hajóra rakták a palotában talált kincseket, köztük azt az óriás ágyút, amelyet Hunyadi János zsákmányolt 1456-ban Nándorfehérvár alatt. A szultáni sereg szeptember 25-én indult vissza Isztambul felé. Addigra portyázói a főváros körüli területeket Egertől Győrig elpusztították. Csupán néhány fallal erődített város menekült meg.

A mohácsi csata után az ország fővárosa, Buda, védtelen volt. A király és vele együtt a főnemesség jelentős része meghalt, a további védekezés megszervezése nehézségekbe ütközött. Gyakorlatilag csak az erdélyi, kb. 15 ezer fős had maradt ütőképes Szapolyai János vezetésével, de ő nem vállalta és nem is vállalhatta a harcot. Számára nem maradt más esély az életben maradásra és emberei életen tartására, mint egyezséget kötni a török szultánnal.

Székely Bertalan festménye Il. Lajos temetéséről.

Tömegsírok felfedezése

1902-ben Pavlovics Demeter molnár a Csele patakra épült malma mellett liszt- és vegyeskereskedést akart építtetni, munkásai azonban a vert falhoz szükséges föld kitermelése során csontokra bukkantak, amelyek azután olyan mennyiségben kerültek elő, hogy magát a munkát is meggátolták, így nem lehetett nem tudomást venni róluk. A csontok legnagyobb része már erősen el volt meszesedve, bár egyes koponyák és fogak még csaknem teljesen épen maradtak. Mivel a molnár a közelben éppen II. Lajos király (1516–1526) pénzeire bukkant, adódott a lehetőség, hogy a megtalált – feltételezhetően tömeg- – sírt a csatához kössék [1].

Bár a tömegsírokat azóta is többször vizsgálták, napjainkban sikerült csak igazán érdekes információkat kinyerni a sírból a tudomány fejlődésének köszönhetően. Közeledik a mohácsi csata 500 éves évfordulója, és ez a kerek évforduló és a vele járó támogatások nagymértékben segítették azt, hogy létrejöhessen ez a hatalmas országos együttműködés a tömegsírok feltárásával kapcsolatban. Különös tekintettel arra, hogy az évforduló alkalmából szeretnék újratemetni a mártírok maradványait.

A jelenleg ismert öt mohácsi tömegsír közül a hármas számú, jelenleg kiemelten vizsgál, a legkisebb, mintegy 15 négyzetméteres. A csontmaradványok azonosítása óriási szakmai kihívást jelent az antropológusok számára – hangsúlyozta Pálfi György a Szegedi Tudományegyetem Embertani Tanszékének tanszékvezetője [2].

A mohácsi III. tömegsír. Fotó: Pálfi György. Forrás [3].

Kik és hányan lehetnek a tömegsírokban?

Azt már a hatvanas években is sikerrel derítették ki, hogy a keresztény hadak áldozatai találhatóak a sírokban. A kiemelt német, cseh és magyar pénzérmék, e kis mennyiségű régészeti információ alapján lehetett ezt meghatározni. Tudjuk: II. Lajos seregét magyar – a mai magyarországi, de természetesen felvidéki és erdélyi területekről is –, német, lengyel és cseh katonák alkották, sőt kis részben részt vettek benne horvátok, szerbek is. Úgy mondhatjuk, hogy a mai „visegrádi országok” elődeiből, valamint német és délszláv területekről származó keresztény és zömében közép-európai haderő vette fel a harcot Mohácsnál a török túlerővel [3].

A sírokat vizsgálva kaotikus látvány tárult a kutatók szeme elé. A régészek által feltárt és az antropológiai vizsgálatra előkészített tömegsírra pillantva az emberi csontmaradványok hihetetlen keveredése megdöbbentő a szakember számára is! A sok tízezernyi emberi csont összevisszasága mellett a speciális betemetés miatti rendkívüli bomlási körülmények és a későbbi károsító tényezők miatt a III. tömegsír feltárása és a csontmaradványok azonosítása óriási szakmai kihívást jelent az antropológusok számára [3].

A hetvenes években a hátmas számú tömegsír esetében 130 körülire tippelték a halottak számát, ma már egyértelműen látszódik, hogy a vártnál sokkal nagyobb az összetömörödés az alsóbb rétegekben és különösen a sírgödör szélein. Most vált láthatóvá, hogy szinte irracionálisan kicsi helyen préselődtek össze a csontvázak. Ennek alapján vélhetően minimum megduplázható a tömegsír korábban becsült leletszáma. A kutatók 300 körülire saccolják a hármas számú - egyébként legkisebb - tömegsírban található maradványok számát [3].

A csontvázak összegabalyodása miatt sokszor 8-10 egyén maradványaival párhuzamosan kell haladjanak a kutatók. A vizsgálatok eredményeként a regisztrált csontmaradványok száma változik. Gyakran kiderül ugyanis, hogy a ránézésre egy személyhez tartozó koponya és váz valójában nem tartozik össze, ilyenkor növekednek a számok. De ennek ellenkezője is előfordul. Például az 1976-ban különállónak gondolt csontváz-maradványok esetében is történt utólagos egyesítés, ami a számok csökkenését eredményezte. A sokszor kaotikus módon keveredett csontok feltárása meglehetősen időigényes. A csontvázak ugyanis keresztül-kasul, több rétegben halmozódnak a III. számú tömegsírban [3].

Az antropológiai megfigyelések is pontosíthatják a régészeti leletekből levonható következtetéseket. A mohácsi tömegsírba került emberek keresztények. Az eddig ismert öt tömegsír közül egynek kezdődött el a feltárása és a csontvázak antropológiai azonosítása. Az eddig fölszedett 120 körüli csontváz és a felszínen korábban szemrevételezett legalább 80 emberi maradvány, vagyis körülbelül kétszáz vázról összegyűlt információ alapján kimondható: a mohácsi tömegsírba kerül emberek 90 százaléka ifjú vagy viszonylag fiatal felnőtt, 18-40 éves férfi. Kisebb számban serdülőkorú, mert 14-16 év körül elhunyt személyeket is azonosítottak a kutatók. Egy-két 12-13 éves kamasz gyerekként, néhány idősebb férfiként, továbbá egy szinte biztosan és két feltételezhetően nőként azonosítható csontvázzal szintén találkoztak [3].

Hozzájárulhatnak az eredmények a csata helyének pontos megtalálásához?

Máig megoldatlan a csatatér helyének a beazonosítása. Csatára utaló jelek – golyók vagy fegyvermaradványok – ugyanis nincsenek a Mohácsi Nemzeti Történelmi Emlékhely területén. Bertók Gábor régész – aki a jelen ásatás vezetője – és munkatársai folyamatosan keresik az 1526. augusztus 29-i csata helyét. Ezt az emlékhelytől 4-5 kilométerre lévő Majs község határában feltételezik, mert ott nagy mennyiségű puskagolyó, fegyvertöredék és rengeteg lópatkó került elő fémkereséssel. A körülbelül 250 lövedék közül közel 170, vagyis a leletanyag több mint kétharmada a kor jellegzetes puskagolyó méretéhez képest viszonylag kisméretű: 10-15 milliméteres. A csatatér azonosításához hozzájárulhat a tömegsír feltárása is. Ugyanis a csontmaradványok kiemelésekor a kutatók találtak egy ilyen kisméretű puskagolyót. Az egyik csontváz gerincoszlopa mellett, körülbelül 25 centiméterre a felső rétegtől, a feltárás második rétegében. Megállapították azt is, hogy ezt az embert kivégezték, amire a koponyáján és a nyakán látható sérülések miatt gondolhatunk. A testében „megőrzött” és most felszínre került golyó miatt arra következtethetünk, hogy a csontváz egy olyan hadifogolyé, aki a mohácsi csatában az oldalán megsebesült, de sérülése nem volt halálos, ám később sebesültként kivégezték és bedobták e tömegsírba [3].

Mivel vitathatatlan, hogy az áldozat testében lévő golyóó mérete megegyezik a tömegsírtól 4-5 kilométerre található területen felfedezett golyókéval, az is egyértelmű, hogy az áldozat a csatában sérült meg. Ez a csontvázak közül kiemelt lövedék újabb lökést adhat a csatatérhez kötődő kutatásoknak. Mert a közeljövőben intenzív régészeti feltárás lesz azon a területen, hiszen 2026-ra, a mohácsi csata 500. évfordulójára meg szeretnék találni a régészek az ütközet legvalószínűbb helyét, hogy ott méltóképpen emlékezhessünk az 500 évvel korábbi történelmi fordulópontra. Tehát mivel az áldozat bizonyosan a mohácsi csata után lett kivégezve és a testében lelt golyó megegyezik a közeli területen felfedezett golyókkal, biztonsággal feltételezhető, hogy a tömegsírtól 4-5 kilóméterre volt a csata helyszíne [3].

Székely Bertalan festménye a mohácsi csatáról. A festményen is jól látszik, hogy a csata területe igen mocsaras volt.

Kik lehetnek ezek az emberek a sírban? Csatában elhunytak vagy kivégzett hadifoglyok?

Az elsőre is látható fejsérülések alapján itt nagy valószínűséggel a törökök által lekaszabolt „magyar szekértábor” áldozatai lehettek. Mi volt ez a szekértábor? A mohácsi csata után az ország fővárosa, Buda, védtelen volt. A király és vele együtt a főnemesség jelentős része meghalt, a további védekezés megszervezése nehézségekbe ütközött. A törökök Budára vonulása során komolyabb ellenállást egyedül a Pusztamarót mellett összegyűlt kb. 25 ezer fős paraszt- és jobbágysereg tanúsított, amely szekértábort hozott létre, de a jól felfegyverzett törökök hamar szétverték és lemészárolták őket is [3]. Tulajdonképpen ez a verzió bizonytalan lábakon áll, hiszen Pusztamarót nagy távolságra van innen.

Más kutatók korábban inkább a csata helyszínének tekintették ezt a helyet. Létezik egy harmadik, eddig háttérbe szorított opció is „a csata utáni nagy nyilvános kivégzésről” szóló írásos emlékek alapján. I. Szulejmán archívumából lehet tudni, hogy a mohácsi csata másnapján a szultán nagy ünnepi összejövetelt rendelt el, a sátra elől szemlélte a dicsőséges seregének a fölvonulását, majd elővezettette a hadifoglyokat. Alvezéreinek nem engedélyezte a hadifoglyok megtartását, hanem nyilvános, nagy kollektív kivégzést rendezett. Eddig annyit tudtunk, hogy több mint kétezer hadifoglyot végeztek ki a mohácsi csata után. Az 1976-os felszíni vizsgálat alapján azt valószínűsítették, hogy az öt tömegsírban körülbelül ezer ember csontváza van. Ám a harmadik tömegsírnál végzett eddigi vizsgálatok alapján valószínű, hogy a mohácsi tömegsírokban fellelhető csontvázak 45 éve feltételezett számnak inkább a duplája lehet valószínű. Ez aránylag jól egyezik a Szulejmán által kivégeztetett személyek számáéval. És az áldozatok alapos vizsgálata is egyre jobban valószínűsíti ezt az opciót, ugyanis a harmadik tömegsírnál az emberi csontvázmaradványok vizsgálata alapján látszódik, hogy ez lenyakazott emberek tömegsírja. Rengeteg olyan esetet azonosítottak a kutatók, amikor egyértelműen látszik a vágásnyomból, hogy a letérdeltetett, a lehajtott fejű embert hátulról végeztek ki – nyakazással. Találtak olyan emberi csontvázat is, amelyen látszik, hogy arra az emberre 494 évvel ezelőtt kétszer-háromszor sújtottak le felülről. Több olyan esetet is feltártak, ahol ugyanazt a nyakcsigolyát kétszer párhuzamosan átvágták, ez pedig csata közben nagyon nehezen elképzelhető. A korabeli leírások, illetve a több mint 100 évvel korábbi nikápolyi csata utáni kivégzésről készült rajz alapján feltételezhető, hogy Mohácsnál a foglyul ejtett katonákat hasonló módon végeztetette ki a szultán. Tehát barbár mészárlás utáni állapotokat mutat a Mohácsi Nemzeti Történelmi Emlékhely harmadik tömegsírja [3].

Kardvágásnyomok egy a tömegsírból kiemelt koponyán. Fotó: Pálfi György. Forrás: [3].

Lefejezésre utaló vágásnyomok egy nyakcsigolyán. Fotó: Pálfi György. Forrás: [3].

Hogyan tovább?

A tömegsír antropológiai vizsgálata tavasszal folytatódhat. A maradványok kiemelésével 3-4 hónap alatt végezhetnek, a leletek laboratóriumi feldolgozása azonban évekig tarthat. Ez idő alatt antropológiai és szükség esetén genetikai módszerekkel megtörténhet az egyes áldozatok maradványainak elkülönítése, de a radiológiai és genetikai elemzéseken át eljuthatnak az arcrekonstrukcióig is. A legfontosabb cél, hogy a megalázó módon eltemetett mártírok maradványait a mohácsi csata 500. évfordulójára szétválogassák, majd egyéni sírokba temethessék [2].

Felhasznált források: [1]: http://ujkor.hu/content/mohacsi-tomegsirok-nyomaban-korabbi-es-legujabb-feltarasok [2]: https://mult-kor.hu/a-szegedi-tudomanyegyetem-antropologusai-is-reszt-vesznek-a-mohacsi-tmegsir-feltarasaban-20201209 [3]: https://u-szeged.hu/mohacsi-csata?objectParentFolderId=19396

[revasserium]

nekoma #1 - morning

kuroo. 

when he first told you that he was a morning person, you looked him dead in the eye and called him liar. it would not be the last time you call him on his bullshit, but ever since then his smiles have gotten just a little bit wider. and sometimes you find him leaning against the doorway to your class, casually scrolling through his phone, a bit too posed, hair a bit too ruffled, shoulders tense as a tightrope, insisting that he’d not been waiting for you, that he’d just happened to be hanging around and oh, would you look at that, you’d come walking down the hallway. it’s a misty, wednesday morning when he reaches out to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, a thoughtless gesture, almost like second nature before he catches himself and realizes what he’s done. his eyes go wide and his cheeks go red and his usual low drawl of a voice hikes up four pitches as he fumbles for words and explanations. you reach up to tug on a lock of his hair too as you shrug and say, “there, now we’re even, though you could probably use a bit less gel. how do you even wash that shit out?” to which he’d sputtered indignantly, insisting that his hair was nothing short of artwork. it takes him another week to buck up enough courage to ask you out, but when he does, it’s the first time you don’t call his bluff. you say yes, you say only if you quit using so much damn hairgel; to which he grins, and turns with a melodramatic sigh and tells you that he’ll finally have time to sleep in in the mornings. 

kenma. 

there is nothing good about mornings, so he insists, and so you agree. but waking up next to you just might count as a good thing -- no, it definitely does. see, kenma is not known for being particularly active, or fond of physical movement (the contradictions therein about him being on the volleyball team shall be addressed at a later date, when he’s got more energy), and thus the transitioning from static to not so static as is ritual most mornings just isn’t on his list of favorite things. but you -- somehow, when he opens his eyes to find you there, curled up next to him just as you’d been the night before, he can’t find it in himself to be upset, not even at the foggy chill that had settled against his window overnight, or the cool, bleak sun peaking over the horizon-line, signaling the start to another doubtlessly tiresome day. you turn, lashes fluttering as you open your eyes, a sleepy smile stretching your lips and kenma can’t help the way his chest fills with butterflies. “g’morning”, you say, your voice still thick with the honey of dreams, and he just sighs, crinkling his nose as he snuggles in against you, grumbling through his chest, “yeah, i guess so.” you laugh, the sound ringing like bluebells along his skin, “i thought you hated mornings.” kenma huffs, his breath warm against your forehead as he pulls you close, “i do, but... you’re here. so, this one’s not that bad, i guess.” 

kai. 

for the most part, he’s quite ambivalent about mornings, just as he’s ambivalent about friday afternoons and sunday nights. they’re just mere times of day and he cannot, for the love of all that’s holy, figure out the obsession (or counter-obsession in the form of disgust) with mornings. a day has to begin somewhere, hasn’t it? and the morning’s done nothing wrong except to mark that; so, he accepts the morning, and goes about his usual morning routine of a well-balanced breakfast, before stretches and a subway ride to morning practice. it’s here that he meets you for the first time, the new manager, still a little shy then, but with eyes bright enough to light up an entire gymnasium, he’s sure. and suddenly, mornings are no longer just a time of day, but the times of days he looks forward to the most, because it means he’ll get to see you at school, cheeks flushed from the cold outside, bangs sometimes sticking to your forehead if you’re working on tossing for them, lips sometimes parted, your tongue peaking through the side if you’re concentrating on jotting down notes for their next training regime. and suddenly, he understands the mass attraction and aversions to times of day, because they could mean so much more than just the markings of time he’d taken them to be -- they could be earned towards and looked forward to, for the possibilities they contain, or the inevitability of their endings. and he finally understands that morning is no longer simply a pocket of time between a and b, but a measure of what might happen, if he just took one step closer, reached out and grabbed your hand, if he squeezed it, and never let it go -- what would you do? so he decides that maybe, just maybe, one of these mornings, he’s going to reach out, and try it. 

yaku. 

he’s always up at the first ring of his alarm, because there are always so many things to do -- brush his teeth, wash his face, iron his uniform, make sure his hair doesn’t look too nuts, text you good morning and ask how you slept, and mornings are just the perfect time for all those things, like the great start to a long race, it’s when he sets the tone for the rest of the day. you once teased you could publish a book with all the good morning texts he’d sent you over the years -- “how’d you think of so many? do you google them or something?” to which he’d squawked and said that he’d never plagiarize his morning texts... although sometimes, he does take a peak on the internet for some good inspiration. but he insists that the words are his own, and you believe him. “good morning! today’s gonna be a great day, i can just feel it in the air!” “morning sunshine! it’s chilly out so don’t forget to bring a jacket!” “good morning! did you have good dreams last night? tell me about them.” “morning~ i missed you.” “morning sunshine, let’s get coffee on the way to school. the vending machine on the corner restocked!” “gmorning, couldn’t sleep last night but i hope you did.” “gmorning. remember to put on sunscreen!” “gmorning! smile!” “gmorning. i love you.” “morning, i love you.” “good morning! i love you!” and just “hey, i love you.” 

tora. 

you’d asked him if he collected alarm clocks; he’d said they’re just to make sure he gets out of bed on time. you’d wondered what kind of sleeper he might be to need eight alarm clocks to get him out of bed every single morning -- the answer is a deep one. when he jogs by your front door for the third time that week, you ask him on the way to school what he’s doing, to which he answers “training, there’s a really good team in miyagi we gotta beat! and i can’t let myself go, yknow?” you wonder if it’s possible for anyone to let themselves go any more than he usually does (restraint is not one of his defining characteristics), but decide against bringing it to his attention. the fifth time he jogs by, you ask him why you’re house -- surely there are better streets suited for jogging? ones that aren’t next to a major intersection, a good 30 minutes away from his house, perhaps not in the opposite direction of school. he goes red and his usual loud, declaratives falter until they’re half-formed thoughts, cut off and tangled as he tries to iron out his tongue enough to force a proper sentence out. you decide to drop the issue, but from then on, he jogs by your house every morning, and on his way back, he finds you waiting for him, a bottle of water in hand, and a smile on your face. it takes him a solid half-year to ask you out. but when you say yes, he decides that the only way to celebrate is to take a dozen laps around your house. 

inuoka.  

he’s always up at the crack of dawn, somehow, someway -- sometimes you wonder if he’s solar-powered for all the endless energy he has, because photosynthesis is the only explanation left. he chatters during morning homeroom, filling you (and everyone within earshot) about his previous night, how the homework sucked, because they’d had practice till super late, and then on the way home, he got sidetracked by this litter of stray kittens that he just had to take to the shelter first, so by the time he got home, it was already hella late (which, mind you, is an exact measure of time in his world), so doing 14 pages of traditional literature reading and then having to write a short answer to be turned in by midnight was really really not the business. “what would have been the business then?” you ask one day, out of sheer curiousity as to how he’d answer. he blinks, quirking his head in a movement not unlike a slightly confused puppy dog, before grinning wide and saying, “well, that’s easy! not having homework, eating a ton of whatever i wanted for dinner, and spending all the rest of my time with you!” you let out a laugh and remind him that you literally have very single class together, to which he says, without missing a single beat, “yeah, but that’s not enough time. i wanna be with you from the second i wake up, to the second i fall asleep, and not a moment less!” 

lev. 

they see his eyes and call him lion, but none of them knows how much more cub he is lion than in the spare light of a dawning morning. curled up beneath his sheets, his usually giant body looks almost normal-sized, small even, spine bent like if he just tried hard enough, he could bend himself into a question, or perhaps an answer -- the answer to every question he’s ever asked of himself only to find that he can’t find a satisfactory answer lying in his own body. but that doesn’t stop him from trying. he tells you about the nightmares, and you promise him that they’re nothing more than the shadows of dreams, and don’t we all have shadows that follow us? even when the day is in full bloom? he holds you to him at night, his entire body wrapping around you, as if he were trying to soak you in, tether himself to something so as to make sure he’ll still have somewhere to wake up in the morning and find his own reflection; you shake him awake with a gentle smile, a kiss, a reminder that he’s going to miss breakfast again if he keeps on sleeping but he just whines and buries his face deeper into the crook of your neck. “not yet. it’s not light outside yet.” you smile, “but you don’t even like the dark.” “i don’t, but you’re always here, so i like that.” “i’ll still be here once we get up, lev.” “i know, but what it’s this is a dream? all dreams end when you get up.” you pause, stroking a palm down his spine, “maybe not this one,” you say, and somehow convince him to get up out of bed and cart him towards the bathroom. “maybe this one, you get to keep on dreaming forever.” he grins as he hop up onto the counter to watch him groggily brush his teeth and wash his face. after a moment, he looks up, seemingly much more awake than before. and then he smiles, “well if that’s the case, then maybe morning never, ever come again.” 

[dariaroden]

BRIGHTWOOD CHALLENGE 02

1: How high is your libido? Oh, honey. You couldn’t handle it if I told you.

2: Rough sex or soft sex? Either way, depending on what the mood calls for.

3: Do you have any unusual kinks/fetishes? That would depend on what you’d classify as unusual. Kinks in and of themselves are technically things that deviate from the norm. So I guess, by that definition, yes.

4: Weirdest place you’ve had sex? In a supply closet.

5: Favourite sex position? Any. I couldn’t possibly name a favorite. 

6: Do you like to be dominant or submissive? I tend to be more submissive in bed and in general.    

7: Have you ever had any one night stands? I’ve had a few, yes. 

8: Sex on the bed, couch or the floor? Anywhere. Everywhere. All of the above and more, babe.

9: Have you ever had sex in a public place? I have yes. Behind the game booths at a carnival, once.

10: Have you ever been caught masturbating? I have. I’ve had more than a couple of roommates over the years.

11: What does your favorite sexy underwear look like? It’s a pink teddy with feathers at the bottom.

12: How often do you have sex? Not nearly enough to satisfy me, at the moment. But at least I’m getting something. Beggars can’t be choosers, as my mother always used to say.

13: Is there anybody right now you’d like to have sex with? Hell yes. @everywherealinagoes​

14: Do you prefer giving or receiving oral sex? Receiving is excellent, but I’m not selfish. I’ll return the favor, always.

15: Most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you during sex? I broke a nail down to the quick, it was incredibly painful and we had to stop.

16: A song you’d listen to during hard/rough/kinky sex? Anything with a good, fast beat and a nice rhythm. Maybe ‘Rude Boy’ by Rihanna

17: A song you’d listen to during soft/slow/passionate sex? ‘Motivation’ by Kelly Rowland 

18: Are you into dressing up for sex? Hell fucking yes. I have a literal problem with the amount of lingerie and roleplay outfits in my closet. 

19: Would you prefer sex in the bath or sex in the shower? Bath, shower, counter...Wherever babe.

20: If you could have sex with anyone right now, who would it be? Alina Liu, @everywherealinagoes​

21: Have you ever had a threesome? If not, would you? I have, yes.

22: Do you/would you use sex toys? I absolutely use sex toys and will continue to use them. You’ve got to keep things hot.

23: Have you ever sent someone a dirty text/picture? You know it.

24: Would you have sex with your best friend? I would, if she needed it.

25: Is there anything you do after sex? (for example, smoke, eat, drink)? Really just rehydrating, so drink water.

26: Something that will never fail to get you horny? Dirty texts, pictures, kissing, just about everything.

27: Early morning sex or late night sex? Both. Afternoon sex too.

28: Favourite body part on the opposite sex? Calves.

29: Favourite body part on the same sex? Ass.

30: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find? I have nothing to hide, come on in and start rummaging. Maybe you’ll find something you’ll like.

31: Weirdest sexual act some has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you? I once had someone try to fuck me with a frozen cucumber. I realize some people think that’s a glorious stand-in, and by all means, you do you boo boo. But, uh, that was not for me.

32: Have you ever tasted yourself? [If no, would you?] [If yes, what did you think?] I sure have, and I can attest to tasting like candy.

33: Is it ever okay to not use a condom? If you’re willing to accept the risks, sure, go for it.

34: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience? Chocolate.

35: Worst possible time to get horny? Is there ever really a bad time?

36: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans? I so fucking do.

37: What is the most amount of times you’ve ever orgasmed in a day? Six.

38: Best sexual complement you ever got: Someone once told me I have a magical tongue.

39: Favorite foreplay activities: Anything, literally. It’s beyond easy to get me going. 

40: What do you wear to bed? Usually just panties and a sports bra. Sometimes no bra, though. 

41: What is your biggest turn off? Bad hygiene. Hands down.

42: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself? I sure do. Why, are you interested?

43: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside? It has actually been a while. Someone should definitely get on that.

44: Have/would you ever have sex in public? I have and I would again.

45: Have/would you ever had a threesome? I have and would again.

46: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate? An electric toothbrush.

47: What is your favorite type of porn? Girl on girl, baby.

48: Do you like oral sex? (why/why not) I absolutely do, who doesn’t? I don’t trust you if you don’t, period.

49: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in? They can be hot, as long as they are’t weird tattoos.

50: How would you feel about taking someones virginity? I would, if they wanted me to.

51: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter? Probably like...Something weird. Like tapioca. Who would do that?

52: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute? Either or. 

53: Do you watch porn? Is this a real question? Hell yes, I do.

54: Have you ever been called a freak? Why? I have been, because of how high my libido is and how willing I am to do just about anything.

55: Do you feel comfortable going “commando”? I do, and do frequently.

56: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn’t shaved their pubic hair? Absolutely not. If you’ve got a problem with that, you aren’t grown and you don’t want it bad enough. Au naturale is just fine with me.

57: If you could give yourself head, would you? I so would, I don’t even care. 

58: Booty or Boobs? Both, duh.

59: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?) No, i haven’t. I wouldn’t hurt someone like that. 

60: What is your dirtiest sexual fantasy? How much time do you have sweetpea? I’ve got about a million. 

61: have you ever watched someone masturbate? Yep, it’s hot.

62: has anyone ever watched you masturbate? Yep, it’s hot too.

63. Have you ever had an erection and someone noticed? That isn’t possible for me personally, but you can bet I’ve had my fair share of wet spots. 

64. What is your method of masturbation? (ie. toys, clitorial, prostate) It depends on how I’m feeling, but generally a combination of toys and clitoral.

65. What is your bra/penis size? I’m a 34C.

66. What is the strangest thing you have ever put up your vagina/anus? Strangest? I guess the cucumber that one time.

67. When was the last time you masturbated? About 20 minutes ago. But, after this, I have a feeling I’ll need to go again.

68. When was the last time you had sex? Like two days ago?

69. When was the last time you watched porn? When I masturbated 20 minutes ago.

70. Have you ever bought a sex toy? If so, which one did you buy last? First sex toy? If not, which one do you plan on buying when you do? I have more sex toys than I can count. My first was a dildo with a suction on the base. The most recent was a Sybian.

71. Circumcised? It doesn’t matter to me sweetie. 

72. Which not-genital part of your body do you like being touched? My arms.

73. Which genital part of your body do you like being touched? All of them. Every single one.

74. Are you able to achieve orgasm just through nipple stimulation? I could, if I’m horny enough.

75. Have you anonymously sent a sexual ask to someone? Sure have.

76. When was the last time you have had a wet dream? I have sex dreams at least every other week. Sometimes once a week if I’ve been putting my needs on the backburner.

77. Which wet dream was your favorite? The one i just had about Alina, actually. @everywherealinagoes​

78. Is there a friend you would willingly have sex with? You know there is.

79. Is there a celebrity/character you would willingly have sex with? Oh absolutely. 

80. Least favorite sexual position? Are there any? I don’t think so.

81. Do you like being called a slut or whore in bed? Ohhhh, yes please.

82. Are you into any BDSM? Pffft yes.

83. Have you ever wanted to have sex with someone but knew you couldnt for any reason? Why? Not really, no. I’ve gotten lucky in that department. 

84. Do you like dirty talk? Love it.

85. Are you loud or quiet during sex? Masturbation? I am loud, for the most part. I can be quiet if I have to be. But if it doesn’t matter, I can be a screamer. 

86. Have you ever been interrupted during sex or masturbation? Who/what? I have been, by my roommate. 

87. What kind of porn do you not like to watch? I don’t like overly fake stuff. Like I realize all porn is pretty much staged in some way. But, I hate those stupid ass movies where the girl with huge tits looks at the camera, biting her lip, and is like, “oh yeah, I’m a naughty girl, i need to be punished.” Like...No. The obvious fakeness is a turn off. 

88. Have you ever confessed to someone that you got an erection over them? What about masturbated to them? I have. I’m not shy about that. We all have needs. 

89. Have you ever masturbated because your sexual partner wasn’t there when you needed them? Yes. Sometimes you just can’t wait.

90. Have you ever had a one night stand? Do you still keep in contact with them? I have, but admittedly I don’t always keep up with them, no. 

91. Have you ever had a friends with benefits? Are they still beneficial? Yes, and most definitely yes. 

92. Any kinks you’ve always wanted to try but haven’t? There isn’t much I haven’t tried. But, I’ll think on that. 

93. How should someone who is interested in sleeping with you approach the topic? Literally just send a suggestive text.

94. What are your absolute no-nos in bed? Don’t leave permanent marks, don’t ignore me if I give a direction or have a request, and don’t bring nonsexual fluids into the mix. We’ll be Gucci.

95. How do you feel about quickies? They are excellent and needed.

96. Have you ever tried roleplay in bed? Would you? I have and would again in a heartbeat.

97. Describe the best orgasm you’ve ever had. What were you doing? Alone or with someone else? What made it so good? The best? I don’t even know if I can pick the best. Any time with Alina is generally A++.

98. Have you ever filmed yourself while masturbating or having sex? I sure the fuck have.

99. Lights on or lights off? Either or, doesn’t matter to me. Either way, we’re fucking.

100. What would you like to do more of in bed? Everything. All of it. Just sex.