#getting diagnosed

[pumpkin-panik]

currently having a weird guilt about wanting to get properly diagnosed, because I feel like I'm just trying to excuse the fact that I can't fucking socialize for the life of me. even though its irrational to feel guilty about it

[noblemansdemon]

Update on my diagnostic journey

I thought a while on how to convey this update on my diagnosis journey.

Three years ago I was asked if I had ASD and I deep dived into the matter and found it to be quite fitting, so I tried hard to get into diagnostics only to be accepted by a psychologist 2 months ago. Accordingly it felt like a slap from reality, when I wasn‘t diagnosed with ASD.

It was proven that I fell on the spectrum of cognitive heterogeneity and would count as mentally gifted, but my processing speed is in the low average and the difference to the highest score is 23, which is two points under the line where they wouldn’t be allowed to draw together my average IQ anymore, and yes I had symptoms of Autism but as far as I understand it not enough to be diagnosed. She however encouraged me to get reassessed on ADHD, which I was tested in about 16 years ago with no diagnosis either, but she insisted that methods and insight on ADHD had changed severely. She openly said, that she saw ADHD within me rather than Autism, which I honestly had quite the opposite feeling about, which then again makes me question my self perception.

However I tried to research cognitive heterogeneity and EVERYTHING I found was either connected to ASD or Schizophrenia, second of which I doubt, because I don’t really hear voices in my head like described for the mental disease, which is giving me yet again a bunch of mixed messages answered with uncertainty. It was also connected to dyslexia and dyscalculia both of which I definitely don‘t have. Apart from that it was only mentioned in terms of people having a heavy cognitive disablement, which does not apply to me either. Other than that cognitive heterogeneity is nothing that is really touched on anywhere.

All in all while I am slowly coming to terms with the reality of the the current situation it still feels like a major setback. The next step to go will probably be the ADHD diagnosis, but the fear of running into the next wall, not getting any diagnosis, because I fit in everywhere somehow, but not enough to get an actual diagnosis, that could help me to understand myself better and reach out for adequate help.

This is in no way meant to be disheartening. But I think it is important to stay true to the fact, that at the moment this process is still very hard and bound to a lot of intense emotions for everyone engaging in getting diagnosed with such.

I respect everyone going down this path and want them to know that they aren‘t alone in all of this. Yes, everyone may experience different hardships throughout this process, but I still think it is important to see that we‘re all in this together.

Know that where ever you are, mentally I‘m with you, over in the corner, rooting for your success.

[wondering-witch-wishes]

The “you were never a problem child, you were wonderful” to “a pleasure to have in class” to late diagnosed autistic heavily masking anxious people pleasing adult pipeline

[pleasegivemeatest]

Being Rejected for a Test Referral Again

So this is kind of crazy. I am always kicking myself for not getting a test while I was in the Midwest, because for some reason they have better medical care than the East Coast of America???? I was offered a test as I was moving, and I naively thought I should wait until after I moved so my doctor would be local. I didn't realize how hard it would be for anyone to take me seriously over here.

During my session, where this person sees me exactly once, I asked for a test for ADHD. I just wanted a referral for a test, I'm not trying to get medication. ALL I want is a test! God help me just a test.

I have been refused a test twice. They talked to me for maybe fifteen minutes to twenty minutes. They think "She graduated college and got into her industry." They don't think "She graduated in her special interest, which is a very odd thing to graduate in, failed two classes outside of her special interest and then talked her way into work at a convention."

The Drs will take the facts without context and use their assumptions to put you into boxes. The boxes are already against you because you don't look like the typical person with this neurological issue.

Why. What harm does it do to you to give me a referral for one test? What does it cost you? Why did you wait for three full weeks to talk to your staff as I'm calling them at least once per week (It would be more often if I could). Why does Kaiser suck so bad???

---

What makes this really frustrating is that this Dr met with me over the phone, told me that she would have her office give my main hospital a call for a test. She waited three weeks to write in that I was going to be a self-referral, which basically means that she won't refer me. They won't accept a self-referal.

Why?

What does it cost you to refer me? Does it cost you the air in your lungs? Does it cost you the bones in your ribs? Five extra minutes typing? What. Does. It cost you?

It costs me. I'm so frustrated. Vent post done.

[foldingfittedsheets]

I think something a lot of other people can relate to is the way that you get so conditioned to discomfort that you stop registering it.

I remember sitting at the table with my family, eating dinner as a child. I’d try to eat, because of course I was hungry. But sometimes the flavor or texture was so repugnant that it moved into a category of Not Food.

“Two more bites before you can leave the table.”

“I can’t,” I’d say, trying to explain the impossibility.

But because I was a child they heard, “I won’t,” and made me sit at the table. I’d sit in dull agonized silence, bored and hungry for hours until bedtime when they’d give up. I’d hate myself for not eating and my parents for forcing me to sit there. The few forcefeeding moments ended in vomit.

They’d say, “If you don’t eat this you can’t eat a snack later,” and I moved past trying to communicate my discomfort into accepting that I’d just be hungry.

That state of affairs didn’t last, because my parents realized nothing could force me to eat so they catered to my palate, worrying they’d starve me. But the message stuck. If you can’t do anything about a situation, just accept the suffering.

A few years later my mother called me off the playground to ask, “Are you limping?”

I shrugged. My feet had hurt for a long time, but that was just the way things were now. My mom pulled my socks and shoes off and gasped. The soles of my feet were covered in huge painful planters warts.

“Why didn’t you say anything?!” She demanded but I could only shrug at her. I’d learned a long time ago that saying things about my discomfort didn’t matter, so now I had no words. Sometimes things hurt and sometimes they don’t. I simply accepted and did my best.

Now as an adult trying to learn to improve my own conditions can be hard. If I make food that I can’t eat I’ll force myself to sit at the counter still, full of guilt and self loathing, trying to will myself to eat it.

At first I needed my betrothed to gently take it away to present me with something I could eat. Now on my own I can usually admit that it’s not happening before too long and get something else, but I still feel guilty.

Laying in bed at night waiting for my betrothed to finish getting ready I let out a huge sigh of relief when they turned the lights off.

“Why didn’t you turn them off if they bothered you?” they asked the first time it happened.

“I didn’t even know it was bothering me until it was gone.”

Assessing my physical state now to see if I can improve it is something I’m still relearning but I’m relieved to finally have the space and support to do it.

[ashbunny2027]

I didn't realise other people felt this way too? 😮

I was recently diagnosed with endometriosis, Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, POTS, MCAS, then advised to be assessed for ADHD and autism, all in the space of three weeks. Very grateful they discovered the EDS before the laparoscopy, and that the surgeon had experience dealing with EDS patients before. He was completely unfazed with the new information he'd been given literally two weeks before the operation. (Unfazed in an "I can deal with this" way, not the "meh, I don't care" kinda way!)

There was a huge sense of relief with the endo diagnosis because so many Dr's had dismissed my concerns over not just years, but decades. The EDS and accompanying issues left a sense of anger, frustration, confusion but mostly shock - how had no-one noticed before??

As for the ADHD/ autism - neither are confirmed yet &the waiting list for assessment is long, so there's a feeling of ambivalence, disbelief and denial?

My tiny pea brain is trying to process everything (& there's been a lot!) that's occurred over the last 12-18 months, maybe my feelings will change 🤔 Time will tell......

a while back a friend asked me to do an encouragement card around a grieving a new diagnosis, and it felt like something that deserved a bit more thought than my usual thing. so i made this mini-comic about new diagnosis and difficult feelings! for anyone having complicated feelings after a diagnosis, i am sending you a lot of love <3

[ID copied from Alt: a seven panel comic, each featuring handwritten text and a marker drawn barnyard animal over a white background.

One - text beside art of a white chicken reads "I heard you got a new diagnosis. And sometimes that brings joy and relief - but sometimes it brings the opposite."

Two - art of a white and brown spotted duck with text reading "There's no right or wrong way to feel about a new diagnosis, so be gentle with yourself as emotions come and go."

Three - art of a brown cow lying in grass with text reading "It's okay to feel overwhelmed, and to grieve the idea of what your life would have been like without this."

Four - text beside art of a black goat with long grey ears and white stockings on three feet. It reads "Whatever this leads to - medication, or therapy, or simply a better understanding of yourself -"

Five - art of a white sheep with pink ears with text reading "I hope that someday down the line, it all feels a bit lighter."

Six - text beside art of a brown donkey with a white nose reading "I'm proud of you for facing this, even when it's hard."

Seven - art of a fat orange cat sitting with its tail wrapped around it and looking earnestly upwards. Text reads "I love all of you - and that includes the messy bits (heart shape)."

The signature on each panel reads @ watercolour critters. End ID.]

[s-ccaam-era-crepe]

i think everyone who's ever had migraines should be financially compensated forever btw

[nightmaretour]

What a lot of abled people don't understand is that when you get more sick as someone who was already physically disabled/chronically ill, you don't get the sympathy, you don't get people sending you cards and coming to visit and help you with things. Everyone just kind of assumes that you can handle it, that it's not *really* anything new. Maybe people might acknowledge it for a week or two, but then to them it's just normal. You were already sick, so why would being a little more sick be disruptive to you, right?

[primrosebitch]

I don't think healthy people realize how for chronically ill people getting a diagnosis isn't sad or even disappointing for us, it's a relief and a vindication. So many people with chronic illnesses take many years to get diagnosed, and are told that 'it's just anxiety/your period/psychological' or that we're exaggerating or that everyone experiences that, so for us getting a diagnosis is being told that we weren't faking it and that this wasn't normal and it's also finally knowing what exactly is going on in our bodies.

I think many healthy people think of it as if it were them being told they have this lifelong debilitating illness, and they would feel awful because they are going from perfectly healthy to disabled, but they don't fully realize that we already have all the symptoms and impacts of said chronic illness and that we are just finally finding out the name, and that knowing what it is means that we have access to more treatments and more knowledge as to what we can to do alleviate our symptoms.

[langernameohnebedeutung]

[mayakern]

hello!! im sorry if this is too much trouble, i know hiring models costs money and im not sure if the cost depends on the amount of photos so i understand if it isnt possible right now, and im sorry for the long ask too haha, but:

im a rollator user (four wheeled walker with a seat) and i often sit on the seat to rest when im out and about. i would love one of your midi skirts in the future when i can afford one, but im not sure how the length and how the various patterns would look while sitting down...

about half of my time spent in public (where i would wear a skirt) is spent sitting to rest, so its really important to me to like how i look sitting too!

so that being said, i was wondering if it would be possible for you to have photos available of models (or yourselves!) sitting down, preferably from a front and side view, just on any average chair, while wearing your skirts?

i imagine it would also be helpful for wheelchair users, for anyone who sits a lot at work, and just in general!

again, i dont know if you pay your models per photo, so i totally understand if this isnt an affordable expense right now! and i dont expect you to go back through on every skirt and add new pics, haha. i just thought i would ask, never hurts to wonder :}

(ps i LOVE your work (the way you draw people, especially peoples hair, and your rendering on your illustrations inspires me to work on my own art SO much), and i hope you and your whole team have a lovely day!)

hi, thank you for the kind words! we've previously done quite a few sitting photos in our skirts, so i'll show some of those below for the meantime. a lot of our designs have similar compositions so hopefully this should help you visualize what various designs might look like sitting!

i'll keep in mind to try to get more sitting photos again in the future, but right now things are super hectic and overwhelming and i may forget, so please don't hate me too much if that happens. 😅

recently devin and i moved across the country and between that, money being tight, and our social media manager quitting, we've been short on both funds and spoons. we're back to shooting photos of us on our phones in our own house and i'm back to working two jobs (doing the art and the social media)

[logince]

Billy isn't little but he's still a kid. he's a kid and he knows you should lie to CPS and the police. Even Solomon is saying not to talk to them or they'll take away his freedom!

so... so when the cps worker says "Billy, who were you just talking to?"

"..."

"Billy, it's okay, you can tell me. I just wanna help"

"Solomon told me I shouldnt talk to you."

[editedantiendoposts]

It's THIS simple:

[sporesgalaxy]

"obsessive compulsive disorder"? ha....i think you mean i have a Philosopher's Soul. and also The Demon

[dimpletheheck]

Wait!

Take it.

TAKE IT.

((And a transparent version for you gays <3))

[akanemnon]

I think this is very Kris core do u agree 🤗

PERCHANCE