#and it’s so angering bc it’s like you could’ve discussed your own side of things without denying the gravity of the situation

[m4sc4r4]

More on bad relationship habits in the tags

[yuujism]

Sun and Night. (gojo satoru x reader)

Chapter 4: Love.

← chapter 3 | chapter 5 (soon) →

| PAIRINGS: gojo satoru x gn!reader ; mentions of getou suguru x reader x gojo satoru

| WARNINGS: angst, a lil bit of hurt/no comfort, suggestive language, toxic behaviour, toxic coping mechanism, just really toxic, more angst, grammar errors, mentions of unrequited love, straight up angst

| WORD COUNT: idk lol i’ll count later

| A/N: well! this story is about to end in the next chapter and i actually like writing it but the ending uh... idk maybe some of y’all won’t like the ending bc it will probably hurt a lot... or maybe not!! also this chapter mostly looks into both satoru and the reader’s feelings but who knows lol i like ambiguity!! i hope you like it and enjoy !!

summary;

You and Satoru were in love.

You were so deeply in love, just not with each other.

Where you and Satoru found comfort in each other after the accident happened.

There was nothing.

A blink of an eye.

A shattering moment.

And the sound of your name.

There was nothing but regret when Satoru did the unthinkable, anxiety filling his body as the only thing he deemed important to hide from you was suddenly out there for your ears to hear, surprise adorning your face as your chest rised up an down with heavy breathing.

A few seconds passed, seconds that felt like hours as your eyes, open wide and cold, connected with the eyes of the man who was on top of you, the dim moonlight hitting the side of his face glistening with sweat. Nothing could’ve prepared you for what just happened, not even the familiar sensation of Satoru still inside of you.

Everything was broken now.

“I-I just...”

“I should leave.” you interrupted whatever Satoru had to say because, honestly, you didn’t want to hear it. You couldn’t hear it.

There was a brief moment of a last form of inimacy when he slipped out of you, an involuntary moan leaving both of your mouths before you could even stop it. It was an intimacy that felt awkward, like something that was suddenly thrown right into your face after months of ignoring it, and you didn’t want anything but to escape this realisation.

Stupid. You were so stupid to even think this was a good idea for both you and Satoru.

As you gathered your clothes that were all over the floor, you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him behind you, but, God, the way his gaze was burning holes onto the back of your head made you feel light-headed with nervousness.

Words were left unspoken between the walls of the still steamy room as you walked out, a low ‘I’m sorry’ reaching Satoru’s ears in form of a whisper before the sound of a door closing left him all alone with his thoughts.

“I’m such an idiot!” Hands went to cover his face as his back landed on the mattress, ashamed of his own recklessness and careless behaviour. Why did you have to apologise? To him out of all people. He should be the one swallowing his pride and ask for forgiveness. He was the one who fucked up.

Satoru knew everything was ruined now. God, if only he could forget the look on your face when your name escaped his lips. It was obvious you were shocked, scared even. You both had unwritten rules that were not supposed to be broken nor discussed, one of them being that nothing was and never would be personal or emotional between the two parties.

This should’ve ended as soon as the memories of his best friend started being replaced with memories of you.

But it felt so good. It was wrong, but it felt so good.

He felt like the biggest scum of the earth as he found the same comfort Suguru made him feel between your arms, it almost felt like he was using you. But weren’t you doing the same? Wasn’t that the whole point of this? Those questions were easy to answer: yes. You were doing the same. This was nothing but pure selfishness from the two of you but, after all, one side was always more selfish.

You were smarter. You didn’t get blinded by your own heart like Satoru did, never losing the point of this sick arrangement as your mind kept being packed with images of a certain sorcerer with long, black hair. It almost seemed as if you never really saw Satoru as himself, and that made his heart ache with pain and anger.

Because, yes, Satoru hated you the same way he hated him: he didn’t.

Idiot.

You kept ignoring Satoru in the hallways, with the only difference that, this time, it wasn’t out of hatred or a sense of uninvolvement. No, nothing like that. You were completely avoiding him at all costs. Looking down at your feet as you walked past him, as if locking eyes with him would make you relive that night. Leaving in a hurry whenever he entered the same room as you, as if his mere presence burned you. Talking quickly about the student’s missions, as if wanting to spend as little time as possible close to his presence.

He was an idiot.

The encounters between you came to a stop since that slip up, and Satoru tried his best to not think about it. About you. Please, just don’t think at all. But he couldn’t. The pictures of your body, the melody of your voice calling out for more, the softness in your fingertips as you caressed his back. He needed you back to himself and he was willing to do anything. Anything. Even if that meant burying his feelings 6 feet under the surface.

Satoru felt sorry to the memory of his best friend, and disgusted with himself. He couldn’t believe the way he thought he was above you regarding the feelings towards Suguru, reaching the point to yell at you about how you didn’t love him. Oh, how wrong he was. How wrong he was for underestimating your feelings and your will to never budge with them.

You would budge for me, though, that’s what he thought.

That’s what he confidently hoped.

It wasn’t like the mere idea of developing feelings of Satoru didn’t cross your mind. It did. Countless of times, mostly during those nights where Satoru was away in a mission or when you just didn’t feel like seeing him. Those blue eyes invaded your mind from time to time. Too bright, too confident and too different.

You still remember vividly that quick flash of his gaze piercing through your soul as you both reached that sweet high the other night. At the same time. Together. And even if you wanted to ignore it, as you selfishly always did, you knew something shifted. Wether it was in you or Satoru, no power on earth would make you discuss the newfound sensations Satoru brought along with him.

Ignorance is bliss.

A sentence that stuck with you since the day Suguru’s fate was written, deciding to apply it at everything and anything that was related to the arrangement between you and Satoru. At the beginning, it was difficult.

Ignore his large, warm hands on your skin and the tingling sensation they left behind in a fiery trail and focus on him, his image. This wasn’t him, it would never be him. But it felt real. Ignore the way his breath hit the side of your neck the same way his did, throwing you back to almost forgotten memories of silly jokes and giggles. Ignore every single detail.

Ignore him.

Suddenly, you didn’t have to put much thought into it. It started feeling easy, automatic even. You no longer had to doubt yourself or your feelings, listening to your head rather than your heart. You were certain Satoru did the the same, he was selfish enough to not think about anyone but himself, walking forward without hesitation. He didn’t think of you: he was thinking of himself, Suguru and quick pleasure. Just like you.

You wished you could’ve noticed before it was too late.

Fate always conspired against you, you already knew it, and this moment was a clear example of that. That same warm hand that made you feel reach bliss during countless of night was now firmly wrapped around your wrists, stopping you in the middle of the hallway as you made your way to your next location. You knew it was him without having to turn around. His hot touch was already engraved into your mind before you could avoid it.

“Let’s talk” It certainly wasn’t a question, words slipping out of his mouth before you could even move your hand away or create an excuse to avoid this situation. “... Please...” Satoru almost choked at the plead, as if it was the hardest thing to say after ‘I’m sorry’. He wasn’t sure how he was going to do this if he couldn’t even ask properly.

Now, you had two options: run away or accept talking with him. You knew the simplest way was running away, never getting out of your comfort zone as you left Satoru behind with whatever he had to say. But somewhere deep within you told you to listen to him, to face your feelings and suck it up for once. Just this once.

A defeating sigh came out of you as you pulled your wrist away from his grip, turning around to face him. Blue fiery eyes were now tiredly yet hopefully looking at you, waiting for whichever answer you decided on. You gulped harshly, the forming knot on your throat becoming way too uncomfortable at the thought of someone walking into this scene.

“Alright. Let’s make this quick. Follow me.”

The walk to your office was silent and filled with an awkwardness that couldn’t be fixed. When the silence and cool breeze of the walls of your space hit the both of you, it was when everything became even more strange. Being alone with Satoru in a room wasn’t a new situation, however, there were some really raw feelings accompanying you this time as your eyes locked with each other, you leaning against your desk as he leaned against the wall.

You waited for him to speak first, scrutinising him under your gaze as he played with his dark glasses in one hand, as if he was bored. Your eye twitched in annoyance. Satoru must’ve sent your uneasiness, taking a deep breath before letting it out in a loud blow. He felt nervous for what he was about to say, even if he rehearsed it in his mind a million times, it seemed as if it just went flying through a window when he was under your observation.

More seconds passed with Satoru fidgeting around and you grew even more impatient.

Fuck it.

“Look, if you won’t say anything then—“

“I’m not sorry.”

What?

Your eyes opened wide with surprise and confusion, trying to find some type of amusement in Satoru’s expression just to choke a gasp when you didn’t find any. Out of everything you expected him to say, out of everything you expected him to do, you didn’t really expect him to basically be the usual cocky asshole with a god complex as those words slipped out of his mouth.

Unbelievable.

It was impossible to ignore the way your body was heating up with raw anger and annoyance. Not even after what happened that night was Satoru able to get out of his high horse.

“Are you serious right now?” Your question was empty, it didn’t need an actual answer because you already knew he was dead serious. The pain in the side of your head appeared and you inhaled deeply. Calm down. “Let me see if I understand: you brought me here—“

“Technically, I didn’t bring you here, you di—“

“Fuck, shut the hell up for once, please!” And he did. Satoru didn’t open his mouth to complain and you were grateful. Another deep breath. “That’s all you had to say to me? That you’re not sorry? Not sorry for what, Gojo?” You asked incredulously, looking for his eyes that were now showing shock at the use of his last name.

You waited for his answer. It seemed Satoru was an expert at letting the seconds slip away from both of your hands, but you were tired. You couldn’t be patient with Satoru anymore.

Letting out an annoyed snort at Satoru’s silence and lack of confrontation, you walked towards the door past his figure the seemed to be frozen on the spot. Your hand was inches away from

doorknob when the warm sensation of Satoru’s touch invaded your body again, heart quickly beating involuntarily and you cursed at yourself internally for that. And moments before you could even react, there was his voice again.

Your name.

Your head turned like a reflex, and you swore that, for a brief moment, you saw those sly dark eyes staring right at you instead of ice blue ones.

It wasn’t a sweet tone like you remembered him saying it, instead, your name coming past his lips sounded rougher, dangerous even, yet something was oddly familiar. His voice still held that adoration of that night, communicating a promise Satoru was going to keep.

And it scared you. Satoru’s possible adoration towards you scared you.

“I’m not sorry” Satoru repeated again, breathing getting stuck on his chest and you couldn’t help but notice the way his eyes filled with decisiveness. “I’m not sorry for actually looking at you that night.”

Your breath hitched. Stop.

“I’m not sorry for aching to be with you and feel you when you’re away from me.”

Please, stop. You were starting to feel dizzy. There was no way this was happening right now.

“I’m not sorry for thinking of you the same way I thought of him.”

What happened next was all a blur, emotions crawling up your body as adrenaline hearing what Satoru said after mentioning Suguru again. You just couldn’t bear it anymore.

You still remember the sound of your name being called behind you, desperation and fear filling his voice as your legs moved on their own towards nowhere in particular but far from that room. Far from him.

Escape. Don’t look back. Escape, escape, escape.

It wasn’t until you found yourself outside of your room that you became aware of time and your surroundings. You don’t know how much die you run for you to reach your own place, or how much did you just stand in the middle of a silent room with the ghosts of a rough voice and soft touches.

You crumbled down like you did the same day you saw Suguru for first time after his sentence.

The recent events kept coming to your mind in the form of sharp daggers, engraving the image of a fiery gaze that seemed firm on staying on your mind for as long as it wanted. You were exhausted, both physically and emotionally, and you wanted to escape once again.

That night, you fell asleep as the memory of a familiar scent drowned your mind along with the words that made your heart ache with an unknown feeling.

“I’m not sorry for loving you.”

[kickingstonesandbones]

What I’ve gathered from the 3 Episodes bc some of y’all seem confused or asked

Disclaimer: For the past 10+ years, I've made it a hobby of mine to thoroughly analyze fictional characters and plots, so I feel pretty confident in predicting characters. There rarely are plot twists that can surprise me. BUT that is obviously no guarantee that I am absolutely perfect at it and never wrong! Nor do I believe that I am always correct, just quite confident in reading between the lines with characters.

There are some theories and posts I've seen (on different platforms) that, I think, are doing a good job of getting the general gist of stuff, but nonetheless, they all seem to be overlooking minor details that can turn around meanings (like the way Hoshino acts). Also, many of you seem to either be ignoring or unaware of the mindset of older JAPANESE generations (of Insanely Rich Families™).

So yeah, I am just going to put statements/theories I’ve seen and go through them one by one. They’ll be obviously marked, so just read the ones you’re interested in? (Also, I absolutely love a good discourse, so if you have something that would challenge my own theories, or would like to discuss something that I haven’t touched up on in this OR want me to elaborate on something, feel free to comment, reblog, or dm me with your opinion or question! Whatever you’re more comfortable with 😊)

#1 Haru killed the woman. (I see this as a kind of side-comment a lot?)

#2 Hoshino feels 'torn' about Haru. // He has turned cold/harsh towards Haru. // He dislikes Haru now. (Why it’s more complicated than that and also different than you think – explained more lengthily than I intended to, but still shorter than I could’ve lol)

#3 Why that entire first scene in Episode 3 exists.

#4 Because of that scene, WHAT really is Suzue to Daisuke now? (Just brain farts, pls kinda ignore this one haha I just wanted that one theory written down to get back to it)

#5 Older Japanese Generations In General... (aka Daisuke’s behavior in Ep 3 explained)

#6 Daisuke and Haru are NOT as close as some of you might want to believe right now.... Yet, at least. Yet.

Extra: I've seen a post where someone wondered whether Daisuke's and Haru's pasts are somehow connected. (I haven’t seen a single post about the 1998 Files and the Parents in this context, for some reason, and was wondering.)

I’ll put a Read More here because this is going to be long, very long.

#1 Haru killed the woman.

Absolutely not true. (I do see people mention that like “he killed her in self-defense” in case you're thinking "well duh, Sherlock.") Choice of words is ALWAYS important.

In Episode 2 when Haru and Daisuke talk on the stairs, Daisuke relays information about Haru. He says, "you misfired and seriously injured the target" when talking about the reason why Haru is not in First Division anymore.

Now, Daisuke does not seem the type to sugarcoat facts, which means he would not leave out "which resulted in their death" at the end, or just straight up say "you misfired and killed the target." Now, 'seriously injured' means that the woman's life WAS in grave danger and she was close to dying, but she DID NOT DIE in the end. She survived. Being shot in the chest does not mean inevitable death. In fact, you can survive injury to any organ (even the brain) EXCEPT for the stomach (bc inner walls are covered in a protein that protects the stomach from digesting itself -> injury that would let the acid leak from it -> acid will burn away other organs -> you die of multiple organ failure bc you cannot stitch up a stomach)

It hits her in the right side of her chest, maybe even right below the shoulder. It’s hard for me to tell the exact position from the frames. But anyway, it most likely pierced through her right lung, which in itself is already deadly enough. But yeah, she did not die. No one in the anime ever even alludes to it.

I think some people believe he actually accidentally killed the woman because Haru was so devastated by it IMMEDIATELY. No, it wasn’t because of that per se. He was absolutely devastated because he. LOVES. PEOPLE. (As shown by his entire conversation with the boy on the train before he gets off and his faith in the good in people in Ep 3.) And it just left him so shaken that he (seriously) injured an innocent person. (In his eyes innocent because someone who is about to shoot you out of anger/other strong emotions is not necessarily innocent to me but that is an entirely different discussion.) Anyway, I think he was most shocked about the fact that he had pulled the trigger on her out of reflex (because he instinctively knew she WAS going to shoot him DEAD in that moment and his body reacted before he could think about it – as his immediate reaction to shooting her shows).

See the absolute shock in his eyes? Like he only realized what he did right after shooting her. Reflex.

 #2 Hoshino feels 'torn' about Haru. // He has turned cold/harsh towards Haru. // He dislikes Haru now.

Yes, but no. I don't quite agree - and I don't agree mostly with the explanations given why (but also parts of the statements). And the reason for that is simply Hoshino's different facial expressions and exact choice of words in the interactions between them. To me, he seems like the type who would have an indifferent kind of face most of the time since I literally screenshotted every single scene with him (solely for this analysis lol), and he does have variation in expression, but only a little bit most of the time. His feelings are kinda subtle.

But before I explicitly explain what I mean, let me define something. 'Being torn' about something in general means that one cannot decide between two things, mostly two opposite (or at least quite different) things. And since some say Hoshino 'feels torn,' it would mean he would have two opposing feelings towards Haru, which I honestly don't think is true. It is just one very complex feeling that manifested over time.

Let me start by how Hoshino views Haru.

Haru is Hoshino's senior (senpai). Hoshino is Haru's junior (kohai). As we can see in the flashback in Ep 3 on the rooftop, Hoshino admires Haru. Like, this baby has complete and utter admiration in his eyes.

(He likely also thinks in that moment that Haru is insane, but that is besides the point right now.) He admires Haru for being able to do things fearlessly that he hesitates about. He looks like he’d like to be just like Haru as well. He looks up to him.

Then, the incident of Haru shooting the woman happens. Haru leaves the First Division and 'gets demoted' to the MCPTF. The two of them only speak to each other with higher level (distant relationship) honorifics. (I have a point about Hoshino calling Haru senpai in the first episode, but I will get to that.) Why they fell back into stranger honorifics will get more obvious in my second main point.

In the flashback we get in the third episode,

we get a Hoshino who stays on the side, also looking kind of dejected. I do not think that he is disappointed or angry at that moment. He just stares at his senpai in silence. Since he admires Haru so much, I guess he always wanted to be a cop JUST LIKE Haru, so he is... grieving? with Haru. I don't really know how to put it into words, but you could say he is HURTING by seeing his amicable, precious senpai BEATEN. Do not forget that Takei (Haru’s former superior) also puts a reassuring hand on Haru's shoulder. This interaction shows that they DO NOT blame him. (I am saying this bc I've seen people angry about what Hoshino says to Haru in Ep 3, saying "why would he hate him so much now and be so mean" - he doesn't. He absolutely. Does. Not. Hate. Him. He is frustrated and disappointed, but not hateful towards Haru.)

Having explained that, let me get to my first main point here:

I don't think I need to lay out Haru's work ethics for you guys because they're so clearly shown in the anime. So considering those work ethics of his, I truly believe that Haru ASKED to be removed from the First Division (which is why I put gets demoted in '   ' earlier) and be switched to one where he does not need a gun. Hence, he's now in the MCPTF. We do not SEE him getting demoted after that incident, which is why I firmly believe that that was Haru's decision and that he was persistent about it. When he packs up and leaves

he does not seem sour to HAVE to leave the division, but rather that he still seems to dwell over the reason WHY he's packing his stuff up. (You can see turmoil in his eyes. And that he’s lost in thoughts. He seems regretful, but also kind of set on something.) I mean the train scene really shows just HOW MUCH it still affects him

so I am pretty certain that he's thinking about exactly that and that he does not deserve to be a cop because of what he has done in that exact moment, and so on.

My second main point:

My first main point is exactly the reason why I think Hoshino acts the way he does towards Haru. It explains his expression that we see as Haru packs up his stuff.

He does not look angry.

He is hurt. And disappointed.

He feels let down.

In a sense, also betrayed. Like this isn’t reality.

The oh-so-great senpai, whom he has always looked up to all this time, who seemed so amazing, is pulling in his tail between his legs. Giving up. And running away. Just like that. Just because of ONE mistake. One mistake ALL of them probably would've made in that situation if they had been in his shoes. It made him realize that the senpai he had idolized all this time might not be as invincible as he had thought.

And. It. Hurts. Hoshino. To. No. End. (I mean, just zoom in on the pic and look at those eyes.)

I don't think he has ever let Haru know just how hurt he was just watching him leave and accepting the work he'd do in MCPTF (which is literally just desk work and filling in missing men force, as far as we’ve seen), which probably would mean that he let the hurt foster and foster inside of him until it slowly started to turn into coldness/curtness towards Haru. (Also could be that they fought before Haru left, which would also explain some remarks Hoshino makes.) He was hurt, and he somehow needed to show it.

Hoshino looked up to Haru, and was left feeling let down by his former partner. That stings. Deeply.

(I mean you can literally see the small changes in his eyes. His expressions slightly soften and harden. But the words tend to be more direct and harsh. And honestly, that is the result of disappointment and hurt speaking. But nevertheless, he still lets Haru and Kamei listen in (bottom right corner) even though he does look slightly annoyed; probably because he knows that he won’t be able to get rid of them, especially Haru. So the admiration is still there – probably had never left – which can give him moments where he “gives in”. Also, look at the bottom left corner.)

I mean Hoshino probably used to ALWAYS call Haru senpai for a longer period of time because he NEVER ever calls Haru senpai in the anime except for that one time when Haru startled him in the first episode. People in general react out of reflex and instinct whenever they're startled because reflexes and instincts are not a thing your brain CONSCIOUSLY processes. Those are subconscious responses.

If you don’t believe me, here is the other times Hoshino has called Haru – and when he did, it was literally only “Kato-san” (there aren’t a lot of other examples bc he literally only says Haru’s name like four times so far, but when he is NOT surprised, he addresses Haru like this):

(Completely taken aback by Haru just stealing the ear-piece, surprised face, afterwards not even aware that he did call Haru senpai, which he never does again (so far))

Which means Hoshino did not (more like COULD NOT) think about the way he'd call Haru, so that "senpai" slipped past his lips out of pure old habit. (Which goes to show that they used to be really close.) I'm not crying, you are.

.

I also have to bring up that first conversation on the train in Ep 3.

Kato: “That was rather fast.”

Hoshino: “Why are you here?” (he says Kato-san in Japanese, not “you”)

K: “I happened to be on the train. The perp is male. He said he failed the college entrance exam, so his age is somewhere around 19 or 20. I’m guessing he’s from somewhere around Hyogo.”

H: “How do you know-”

K: “I was sitting next to him, until moments ago.”

H: “Any other information?”

K: “No. I only started talking to him when I was close to getting off.”

H: “Understood. We at First Division will be handling this case. Kato-san, please take your leave.”

K: “It’s alright. I’m not a stranger in his light. Let me do it.”

H: “Do you have any authority to be on this crime scene?”

K: “What do you mean?”

H: “Why don’t you ask yourself that question?”

Look exactly at the changes in their eyes in each single picture here. Notice how Hoshino goes from surprised to somewhat indifferent to challenging? Someone might even argue that he looks angry, hostile, or that it’s resentment in his eyes, but considering that he is asking “Why don’t you ask yourself that question?” it is neither of those, because he is challenging Haru to defend himself. But Haru doesn’t answer, and they just stare each other down for a few seconds.

Just by the way Hoshino says it, and the way Haru reacts and how it immediately triggers the flashback/memory afterwards, I think this might actually be something Haru has said TO Hoshino (about himself) back then when Hoshino might've tried to change Haru's mind on leaving the First Division (that he does not deserve to be a cop, investigate crime scenes like that, etc). At least that interaction and just how Haru reacts to it seems to be implying that to me.

I refuse to believe Hoshino did not try at all to persuade and hold back Haru back then (I mean just that pic of Hoshino staring at Haru when he was packing his stuff and leaving the division literally SCREAMS INTO YOUR FACE), so I believe Haru told him at least SOMEWHAT how he feels about the whole thing, and I think Haru probably definitely said something along those lines. Like, he “did not deserve to investigate crime scenes LIKE THAT” (I mean the trauma and the train scene are literally the same hostage scenario with the culprit having a firearm (even if the kid's was a model gun and not real)) nor that he “deserved to be a cop any longer (because cops wouldn’t hurt the innocent).” He might’ve said something like that to Hoshino, which only frustrates and disappoints the latter further.

So in this complicated mess, what is it that Hoshino is actually feeling? That mixture of hurt, disappointment, betrayal and being let down has manifested itself into frustration. Hoshino is frustrated with Haru.

He’ll probably explode (in Haru’s face) at some point in the anime, too.

(I think Hoshino is an interesting character.)

#3 Why that entire first scene in Episode 3 exists

I was so confused about that scene in the beginning and had to check whether I WAS actually watching the third episode lol

The main thing I get from it is that it's entirely about INFORMATION. That is probably entirely because the Hong Kong episode got deleted and instead we'll get that in a drama CD? In Hong Kong, Haru probably would've learned that HEUSC is an AI butler, not a real one, and how to use him. (Among other things.) I mean, he somehow needs to first get to learn about HEUSC before he can use him for the whole train scenario later in the episode? And that hadn't been done yet, and probably would've happened in Hong Kong, but we aren't getting that in the anime so that information needed to be given another way. Which is probably why that first scene even exists. If anyone knows well about script writing for that and how that in general works, and knows more about this, please let me know, I am interested in learning lmao

#4 Because of that scene, WHAT really is Suzue to Daisuke now?

I do not want anyone to comment that it was confirmed that they are siblings or some shit. NOTHING has been confirmed. She still could be his wife. She also just could be his sister. Or a cousin. We will get to know eventually, but as of right now, NOTHING AT ALL HAS BEEN CONFIRMED. REMEMBER THAT, NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU HATE IT.

I, in general, do not really care for ships. So idgaf if she is his sister or wife, but I DO have a theory of my own. And it is all because of how Daisuke's grandmother introduced herself.

DAISUKE'S grandmother. Not THEIRS. Not Daisuke's AND Suzue's grandmother. ONLY Daisuke's.

So this either means a harsh canon awakening for shippers, or it MIGHT mean something entirely else. (And I have 3 points to make here.)

(1) That she does not accept Suzue as a grandchild. Now, she did not look like she harbors resentment towards Suzue and wished she wasn't present at all or didn't exist. Buuuuut.... Suzue might be an illegitimate grandchild? Like, I know that sounds wild, but hear me out.

Children sometimes look more like one parent rather than the other (or a parent’s side). Sometimes, not always, but often enough. Animes in general do not make love interests or parents look almost identical. (But then again, you could never know with the devs of this one lmao) Soooo... It could be that they either look like their father, or their mother. And the respective parent had an affair, resulting in Suzue. And why I believe it would be Suzue, if one of them actually would be the illegitimate child? Because she is younger than Daisuke, and the way the grandmother treats HIM. (Honestly, if Daisuke would be the illegitimate child, 1. Grandma wouldn't claim him 2. Why would the other parent stick around for two more years to have another child with a cheater?) Which could be why - considering the mindset of older Japanese generations - why she only introduced herself as Daisuke's grandmother. And also why she is so immensely strict with him. In her eyes, he would be the only heir to the family. So she has to raise him to be a responsible man whom she can hand over the company to with peace of mind.

(2) Daisuke and Suzue are actually married. So get over it in this case. (And don't you DARE hate on a great character (again) because of that, otherwise I'll only refer to ya'll as salty hoes from them on.)

(3) We all (read: I) might be interpreting too much into it and it literally means nothing at all, and she just introduced herself that way because they were going to talk about Daisuke because of his new work place and since Daisuke and Haru are partners. For this case, I already have my wig, red nose, and make up ready 🤡

If I am being honest, (1) does not seem too likely to me – just something I randomly thought of. I actually think it’s just simply (3). But I am presenting it for the VERY small chance that (1) could actually be true lmao I bet I will cringe hard at it later

Highly likely: Since Haru would be more involved with Daisuke than Suzue because of work, it could be that she just found it more logical to introduce herself as his grandma, rather than theirs, so yeah… like I’ve said, these are just brain farts and I just wanted to have them written down lol

EDIT: I’ve been made aware that there seems to be an error in the translation. Since it is too much of a pain to add even more pics on mobile, I will just relay the information of the tweet. You can find the link to the tweet in the comments though. My Japanese isn’t that great, so I am dependent on the translation, so errors can occur, which makes me happy when people point something like this out to me. Basically, what Kikuko is actually saying in Japanese is that she’s the grandma, but she leaves out the pronouns - therefore not really saying whose grandma she is - so it could refer to both of them. Like I said, (1) doesn’t seem likely to me anyway lol

#5 Older Japanese Generations In General...

Are strict. Are very conservative. Especially insanely rich families like the Kambe's. Kikuko is NOT strict with him because she has a bad personality or because she is inherently mean or something. (Though she does seem to consider him a bit irresponsible because she calls him selfish)

(Also notice how she asks “so hasn’t he” instead of “he hasn’t been, has he?” which means she always expects him to cause trouble for everyone. This goes to show that Daisuke can never do enough or do good enough for her, which also explains his character a bit since his grandma took care of him since his parents died, but my point here is not to analyze his entire behavior.)

The Japanese have a culture of respect. Respect your elders. Unconditionally. And grandparents of insanely rich families like Daisuke's also demand respect, which means not talking back, or DISOBEYING THEIR ORDERS. Which brings me to the next point (for which I have written this one because y’all might be misinterpreting Daisuke’s behavior, which is exactly what I meant in the beginning with “ignoring or being unaware of the mindset of older Japanese generations”)...

#6 Daisuke and Haru are NOT as close as some of you might want to believe right now.... Yet, at least. Yet.

Sorry to burst the bubbles.

I see everyone going on about them now being partners, and Daisuke trusting his life with Haru’s judgement.

The second part, yes… kinda at least.

The first? Not so much.

Let me talk about the first half of the sentence first. Like the point before this clarifies – unconditional, non-questioning respect, and no disobedience. Which means that Daisuke would NOT go against the orders of his grandmother. By helping Haru with that case and listening to him, being coached, is literally just him obeying Kikuko. (He might also think that it would be better to just follow before Haru rats him out to his grandma for a second time.)

(I do bet though that that will soon change and be genuine!)

Now, with the part about trusting his life to Haru’s judgement… I am not sure whether I can properly explain this the way I mean it, so I just hope it will make sense. I think Daisuke kind of trusted Haru’s judgement on the boy, but also trusted his own judgement just a little more than that. I think he just made logical deductions from what he witnessed inside (reported that a person was down and that they were probably killed by the boy, then it turns out he is doing all that for his sister’s surgery, then it turns out that gun is not real (after causing a distraction) and nobody is actually injured, but then he gets his hand on a real gun (Hoshino’s) and points it their direction in a panic, and Daisuke notices Haru cannot shoot the boy, so he deducts that if the boy knows that his sister will be safe, he will calm down and the situation will be completely de-escalated, so he steps forward and states he will pay for it (he does not really care about spending money as we all know lol) and stands with confidence because he knows flinching or getting nervous – or even blinking – would make it look like a lie and he would definitely NOT want that). Does this make sense? Like, Daisuke is such a calm and collected person, I doubt he would just absolutely BLINDLY jump into something because of someone else’s judgement BEFORE making sure that their judgement is correct by his own observation of the situation, which would be why he stayed behind Haru and just observed until a certain point where he was absolutely certain that it would be safe to do so.

Though what that DOES mean though would be that Daisuke would probably trust Haru’s judgement without being too skeptical about it soon. (I feel like this might’ve been that part in the Episode 3 Hong Kong PV 3 where a person (looks A LOT like Daisuke, so I’ll just assume it was him) was cuffed and Haru comes to the rescue. It might’ve been that Haru judged that person who ended up doing this to Daisuke to be shady, but Daisuke went ahead anyway and got himself in trouble, which was why he ended up cuffed to something, or something of that sort that would show Daisuke Haru’s judgement can be trusted.) [Edit: I used this simply as a theorizing example of how this could be done in another way with a scene that actually DOES exist (though we won’t be seeing that in the anime anymore it is still canon material) instead of having to make something up, and Hong Kong was just a good example to further show my point.]

Extra: I've seen a post where someone wondered whether Daisuke's and Haru's pasts are somehow connected.

In short: Yes, I think so.

In long: (This theory might be a far reach hahah)

The first time we see Haru enter the office of his division, he is carrying files.

'Unsolved Case Files 1998,' it specifically reads. We know Daisuke's parents have died and he says “it was in Japan” when that one day turned his life around (though we do not have any indication of year yet). I assume they were killed (and that it wasn’t an accident at all) and it is the true reason why he came back to Japan (even though yeeeaaars later bc he needed to be trained)

and why he specifically asked to be in the MCPTF BECAUSE Haru is in it (I’ll explain why soon), instead of the First or Second Division - as the superintendent general had suggested for him to be put into, which resulted in Daisuke declining the offer.

But we don't know much about Haru's family. Actually, NOTHING AT ALL. Now, I think that his parents are dead as well, and that their deaths are connected to Daisuke's parents' deaths. The fact that Haru looks through cold cases (or well, at least old cases), which is only briefly shown by showing the files he carried in the first episode, most likely is meant to be some "foreshadowing/hidden info given” kind of thing. Haru is possibly investigating his parents' (or at least a loved one's) death. His parents' death (if none of his parents were police officers themselves and therefore influenced him in that way) is possibly also the reason Haru became a police officer in the first place (even though he tells Daisuke that it is simply to "nab criminals," maybe specifically the criminals who have to do with that?).

Now, I said before that Daisuke asked to be in the same Division as Haru, not the MCPTF (though he names the division, not Haru’s name but you'll know why I'm saying that by the end of this. I don’t think he has immense interest in the division itself but WHO is IN IT). In the second episode, we get to know that Daisuke has a lot of information about Haru. During the case of Isezaki, we get to know during the interrogation that Daisuke obtains information about a person by having HEUSC scan a person's documentation item

or simply by asking HEUSC. 

We never see him doing that with Haru though (I also seriously doubt Haru would hand him any kind of ID, especially in the beginning lol), which brings me to the point that Daisuke probably already had obtained all of Haru's information before he had arrived in Japan; or maybe at the latest after the Bridge incident though I am pretty certain it was BEFORE arriving in Japan, just that maybe he didn’t know the face? Or maybe he even knew the face but didn’t care. (He probably knew more than just about the trauma and why Haru left the First Division, but Haru did not let him speak any further in that scene. It is unclear though, whether Daisuke would've kept talking or that being all of the information he would have delivered in that moment.)

Because Daisuke might already know from the start that their pasts are connected, while Haru is oblivious to it.

So, Daisuke wants to solve the murder of his parents, and he might think that the key to solving it might be by being around someone/doing it with someone who is also connected to it.

(I have no clue whether I am still making sense bc I haven’t slept and worked on this all night, going through the episodes again and again and at this point I am just extremely tired lol)

Like, I know by the fact that we are only 3 Episodes in that this might sound like a far reach BUT I seriously would not be surprised by this. The thing about storytelling is that at one point you would need to introduce the Motive™ of the story. Since animes have very limited time to tell the story in only 20 minutes, at least ALMOST everything in an episode sooner or later needs to give us that information; and honestly? They could’ve started this anime in ANY other way, but they chose to start by Daisuke telling us about his parents. And I honestly just think that it would be odd if that is not of greater importance in the whole story, so I think that that might be the motive that should be revealed within the first half of the anime. The devs seem like the kind of people who would give small hints for something like this (Daisuke’s parents, the 1998 Files) throughout the entire show and then SLAP it into the face of the ones who are unsuspecting in the second half of the anime, ESPECIALLY since they are so secretive with everything lmao I love them.

I am going to bed now, I’m so fucking tired lol

August 3, 2020

[spideyspence]

communication; peter parker

heya, this is (late & unedited) for @plushparker‘s 2k writing challenge. i hope you all enjoy this fic bc it was based on the prompt ‘i’ve been trying to talk to you all night’ and i got a little carried away. enjoy!

(warnings: the readers a dumbass in this fic but like,,, plot & angst. also there’s some violence bc there’s a fight scene at the end)

my masterlist

-

‘Peter why the hell couldn’t I communicate with you during that fight? Why weren’t you responding? I’ve been trying to talk to you all night.’ You yelled to your best friend on the top of a building in New York City.

Your best friend and you had just worked together in taking town a robbery of a bank on the Upper West Side that had been in the works of Wilson Fisk’s men for nearly a year. Peter and you had been working for hours each night, trying to plan how they were going to stop the crime. Peter was in his Spider-Man suit while you were in your own, a sleek black and purple outfit with your mask littered somewhere on the roof where you had thrown it in anger.

‘I’m sorry Y/N but I was punched, and the Bluetooth stopped working. I’m sorry that I was punched.’ Peter rolled his eyes.

He would be yelling at you too if he wouldn’t have been able to speak to you during dangerous events of that night. He was stressed because he was beginning to do more appearances at FEAST to help out Aunt May and he had a physics test the next morning he hadn’t studied for, and he was tired.

‘Those men were still stronger than we anticipated Pete. I was scared okay, I refuse to put you in danger which seems stupid because we’re a team, but you know I will always jump in front of you to save you but I can’t handle the idea of fighting on my own.’ Your lungs were starting to take in as much of the night air as they could during your angered rant.

‘No matter how much time we spent planning Y/N, they were always going to be stronger and have the upper hand on fighting. We have to rely on our ourselves and each other while they have thousand-dollar guns aimed in our direction.’ Peter said to you, his voice softer than yours.

‘You still could’ve contacted me! Karen still freaking works, right?’ You questioned sarcastically.

‘Yeah, but-’ Peter was stuck. You had a damn good point.

‘You know how important communication is, especially during a fight like that, knowing that our lives were at stake!’

‘Well if you’re going to be this panicked maybe we shouldn’t be working together!’ Peter yelled.

Silence.

It was always the two of you. Worked together on group projects in school, going to go see the new Star Wars films at the cinemas (Ned came along for a couple of them), studying, working together to take down the bad guys.

It was Y/N and Peter, that’s how the world works.

You stared at Peter, struggling to believe that your best friend would say something like that.

‘You really think that that is how we should go. Work alone? No longer help each other out?’ You questioned as you walk away to pick up your mask to put it back on to hide your tears from your best friend.

‘Y/N I- I didn’t mean that.’ Peter said softly, his voice starting to shake.

‘You seemed pretty certain about it.’ You snapped.

You didn’t want to leave your best friend. You knew that you and Peter were the best team. You understood each other’s movements. You knew that what you were about to do was completely unreasonable and stupid, but you were too clouded with your emotions and Peter’s words still racing through your head.

Peter started to slowly walk towards you.

‘Y/N, I swear I didn’t mean that. We’re a team, we always work together, and we work well. I’m sorry I’m just frustrated.’

‘Don’t bother apologising Peter, just, I’ll see you tomorrow at school.’

You turned around and leapt off the room and headed back home to get some sleep.

-

Walking down the halls of midtown, you kept your eyes focused on your locker because there was no way that you were going to face Peter.

Grabbing your books seemed like the perfect time for Peter to go up and talk to you but when you saw his New Balance sneakers next to you, you slammed your locker door shut and turned in the opposite direction, taking the longer way to your maths class.

You knew that you had to get over Peter’s words, and you knew you would eventually, but they had hurt so bad.

It wasn’t fair that Peter snapped at you just because you wanted to make sure that he was safe.

Sitting in maths you didn’t make eye contact with Peter. You had made the mistake of looking at him once and seeing the pain in his eyes made your stomach turn.

-

During lunch you didn’t talk to Peter, you just sat there reading your book, not taking in any words that were on the paper. You couldn’t focus on the story when thoughts of Peter were racing through your head.

Peter and Ned were whispering quietly to one another and Ned could sense the tension between the two of you. MJ was a lifesaver however because she sat down next to you.

Peter must have told her that something was going on, but you could tell from the look on MJ’s face, she didn’t know why.

-

After lunch was English with MJ. You didn’t have the class with Peter which was a gift for that day because you did not want to deal with your ‘best friend’.

MJ sat next to you and she questioned about you and Peter.

You two would always sit together at lunch, discussing whether the movie night this week was going to be at yours or his, whether the book was better than the movie (which MJ usually sided with you, because the book is (nearly) always better than the movie while Ned would side with Peter) and talking about what you learnt in physics. You two never talked about your teamwork outside of school, in fear of endangering others or if anyone was listening who shouldn’t be.

‘Peter and I had an argument last night over something. Just, he got on my nerves last night because he stressed me out.’

‘Okay, but we all know that he is an idiot, sometimes right?’ MJ laughs.

‘I know, and I know that I’m overreacting but it’s just really getting on my nerves. Peter’s my best friend and I want him to keep in contact you know?’ You said, straying closely to the truth, but not too close.

‘Peter sucks at texting back. He either texts straight away or at 3am, there’s no in-between.’ MJ smirks.

You sigh and continue to work on your English assignment.

‘I’m just distancing myself and I’m gonna work my own for a bit, rather than working with Pete.’

‘Okay, just remember that Pete will always be there for you, but  I know I don’t have to remind you.’

-

It was a week later. You had finished your homework for the night and told your parents you were going to bed, but you snuck out onto the fire escape and went to patrol for the night.

You hadn’t heard too much of Spider-Man’s activities in helping your city, only the small things such as helping the man find his pigeons.

Jumping from building to building, you were keeping an eye out for any odd behaviour when you spied a group of people hanging around a jewellery store. They were wearing homemade masks, so you knew this wasn’t a night where these people were getting a couple of drinks.

You eyed one of the masked people and jumped to a streetlight that was across the street from the store. Even though you never admitted it to him, you always had to thank Peter for teaching you how to stay balanced on the lights because there were too many laughter-filled nights and bruised legs the next morning from when you would slip.

When one masked people pulled out a hammer, that was when you interrupted.

‘Sorry to ruin your lovely night, but I’m not too sure that what you’re doing is legal.’ As you made your way over to the streetlight on their side of the busy NYC street.

The people on the ground started squabbling and pulling out their weapons that you had managed to not see in the first place. As they were pulling out their weapons, you told them to ‘take their time’.

You hadn’t thought that far ahead. Of course, they would’ve had weapons. So you stole your moment to think about what to do.

You saw an opening and leapt onto the tallest of the masked group and rebounded onto the smallest, ready to take them on.

‘Honey, you only just missed me. What a pity. Aim better next time.’ You teased as you dodged the female masked lady and then kicked her aside. Then you spun around to kick the tallest in the group on the temple, knowing that it would only knock the guy out.

You were down to the last three people, and you weren’t even tired. You were just doing your usual patrol and you were glad that the other ‘protector’ of New York hadn’t joined the party. However, when you looked to your left, you were ready to forgive your best friend so you could make it out of the night alive.

Many black SUV’s came screeching down the avenue, a never-ending line of them.

Your guess what that the people who were planning to rob the jewellery store, weren’t just a group of bored people.

In your moment of distraction, you felt someone punch you in the abdomen but after a year of fighting, you knew not to lean down. Instead, you gasped for air and hit back twice as hard. You spun, dodged and jumped, knocking out all of the robbers, wanting to get that off your to do list at the moment.

You saw many men run jump out of the many cars when you turned around, all now holding guns that you weren’t expecting.

Now you understood why you and Peter couldn’t work alone.

You always needed each other.

When the first shot was fired and you only narrowly missed, you knew you had got yourself into a bit of a mess.

Then you heard a familiar ‘pist’ sound.

However, you didn’t let your eyes flick over to your right, because in that moment, you were going to use Peter to your advantage.

It’s strange, there was a silence, as if the world was still but then you heard a voice in your earpiece.

‘Look Y/N, I’m sorry but we were both wrong. Could I be starting more unnecessary shit by saying this? Probably but we both had our faults. I should’ve contacted you, but you also didn’t have to ignore me. We didn’t have to have a ‘fight’. Anyway, I’m not gonna have a whole big speech right now because we’re about to be in the middle of something, but are we ready to work together again?’ Peter asked?

‘Okay yeah we’re all good. I’m sorry, and here we go. Start from the back and don’t be seen.’ You said quietly to Peter.

‘Yep spectacular spidey silent.’ You rolled you eyes and you saw out the corner of your eyes, a flash of blue and red jump to the corner of the building, and start taking out the men out the back. Even you could hear the ‘thwip’ from Peter, and even though he was saving you, you still needed to help his spider ass.

‘Okay, now let’s have some fun.’ You said as you ran forward to the army in front of you.

Now that everything was back in place, everything felt a lot smoother.

You flipped over about twenty men in front of you and you met the first guy with a kick to the throat and he stumbled back onto the ground and then you kicked another one of his buddies who landed right on top.

The two of you kept in touch the whole time, working well together and when you had your last five guys, you decided to have even more fun.

Finish things up by taking one of the guys and swinging him around to take out his other four mates.

You heard Peter laugh. It was your style to muck around a little bit, even when it was a dangerous situation.

Peter was the one to muck around with words, while you were the one to muck around a little bit when fighting, and it meant that the two of you worked well together.

You smiled at your best friend after the two of you took out the last guy and you went to hug your best friend when you looked over his shoulder only to shove the both of you to the side.

You could still hear the whistling of the bullet in your ear.

That’s when you saw one more car coming towards you, except you didn’t think this was one going to stop anytime soon.

‘Pete, do you wanna lift me?’ You turned to your best friend.

Peter nodded and grabbed onto your arm and swung the two of you up to the top of the building on the corner of the street.

The new black truck was driving past you and from the back on the building, a new problem arose.

You saw more men jump out, but then you saw the leader of the masked men.

Wilson Fisk.

The big (the only word that could describe him) man jumped down from the truck and you could see the metal bouncing back from the heavy man.

‘So here we are Spider-Man and his little girlfriend.’ Fisk looked up at you with a evil smirk.

You couldn’t care less about being called Spider-Man’s ‘girlfriend’, but you weren’t happy about the fact that Fisk had only called you that.

You weren’t Peter’s sidekick, and Peter wasn’t yours.

You were equal.

Now you were ready to fight.

Peter shot his webs over to the building opposite the two of you and swung the two of you over them. You dropped from Peter’s hold and knocked out one of the men cold.

You saw Fisk load his gun and before you could say anything, webs were shot, and the weapon went flying from Kingpin’s grasp.

You nodded to your friend in acknowledgement of his smooth move and the two of you went back to fighting the men.

Take down the pawns in order to take down the king.

Peter was dodging bullets and you had taken down the last men when you turned around to see Peter held by his neck by Wilson Fisk.

Your best friend started kicking, flailing around, suffocating.

You gasped, scared but you had no time to let the panic set in.

You took a deep breath. Panic was going to be no friend here.

The fire hydrant wasn’t going to be a good distraction, but you always had some stuff up your sleeves.

Peter wasn’t the one who was also inventing, nor Tony. You worked with Peter a lot when it came to improving his suit. It also meant that you had made a few little toys for yourself.

You threw a smoke bomb in Fisk’s direction hoping that it would release his grip of Pete just a little and then you climbed to the top of another streetlight and leapt onto Fisk.

You were right and landed on the crime lord’s shoulders and in surprise, he dropped and spun around to try and throw you off which you allowed.

Peter always recovered fast and it was something that you never completely understood, but soon enough you felt Peter’s webs stick to you and the next moment you were flying in Fisk’s direction and you kicked the man in the stomach which caught him by surprise. It then allowed you to distract Fisk as Peter snuck up behind him and began to tie him up with his webs.

Once everything was handled and Fisk was not able to move due to the number of webs that were trapping him, you called 911.

‘Yeah we’re all good. Yeah on the corner where the jewellery store is. Yep that’s the right one. Yep where the bus stop is. Yep on 5th avenue. All good? Anytime. Have a good night now guys.’ You wished the police a good night.

‘Well that was fun.’ You laughed.

Now that the adrenaline had stopped for the two of you, you realise how tired you were and how much your bodies hurt.

‘Can’t wait to see the bruise tomorrow. And shit, it’s 10:30pm.’ You said.

‘Did you finish the chem work?’ Peter asked as the two of you swung across the city.

‘Yeah I did. Do you need to borrow my answers?’ You laughed.

‘Okay yeah, just this once. Thanks.’ Peter chuckled.

‘You said that the last five times dumb-bum.’

It then returned to silence, and you knew what was coming next.

‘Peter, I’m sorry. Just, I got really scared and I panicked and yes, I was kinda rude with ignoring you and I know it was a bitchy thing to do but I was so angry. Pete, I was so scared.’ You explained. You didn’t have a good reason or your actions, but you were trying to make sense of them.

‘Y/N, I get it. I would’ve panicked too if the roles were swapped but we both acted out okay. We all good now?’ Peter smiled.

‘Of course, buddy.’

‘Okay shut up.’ Pete groaned at the nickname.

‘Be nice if you want the answers.’ You shouted as you returned to the ground, as you were now going to walk the couple more blocks to return to your apartment complex.

‘Sorry. Good night, love you!’ Peter swung away.

If it were any other city, people would be annoyed at the shouting.

‘Love you too buddy!’ You shouted from the ground.

You walked home with a smile on your face.

-

The next morning, at school, Peter thanked you again and called you a ‘lifesaver’ for giving him the answers to the chemistry homework.

Peter maybe smart, but he sucked at remembering to do his homework.

MJ smiled and you nodded to her from across the hall.

Everything was back to normal between you and your best friend, with one lesson learnt.

Just fucking communicate.

[crqstalite]

pt. 1, unexpected (andronikos && mierrio)

this is gonna be bad, i’m just warning you now (i also think everything’s bad, but you be the judge of that). but i really wanted to write mierrio n andronikos to kick off the heritage universe, so this happened.

lowercase intended, primarily for aesthetic n bc i’m lazy sorry.

written 7.6.19. word count: 2,839.

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

mierrio usually didn’t need a lot of prompting to relax. the ghosts are finally quiet (still binded to her, but hey, they could have some power she might need in the future), and the fury is a nice ship. with some particularily frivulous updates by her hand, it’s more like a castle than a ship to be completely honest.  feels like her own private getaway, if she didn’t share it with five others.

and she adores it. running a brush through her hair, her eyes flicker to the dress she’d picked out, sparkling in the dark light of her cabin, a gorgeous purple that she’d saved specifically for him. tonight, she’d asked khem to keep ashara and xalek under a watchful eye (she didn’t care what talos did as long as he didn’t tear her ship apart), because she and andronikos were going out tonight. a small miracle, after not even having a proper marriage ceremony (becoming a dark council member and finally getting rid of thanaton was a good replacement though), and she intended to enjoy it without any interruptions.

not that ashara and xalek were much of any bothers. ashara was always willing to learn and xalek was often… quiet at his post, the best any master could really ask for. talos mumbled away to himself in the cargo bay and khem kept to himself in the crew quarters. that left her and andronikos plenty of time to get up to things that would most likely make her mother roll in her grave, wherever she was. she didn’t know what it was, maybe his uncanny charm, maybe the way he made her scream his name in the darkness of their quarters, she didn’t know or care. she figured the dress would give him enough provocation to continue on with her after they returned to the ship.

satisfied with her hair, she pinned it back into the small bob she was now known for. she was going to shave it like andronikos had once suggested, but decided to keep it short and around her neck for now. privately, she’d told him he’d have nothing to pull on in a fit of passion, and that changed his mind quick enough. mierrio liked this look, being a darth often meant not running through trials and finding artifacts for a madwoman, so longer hair was no longer an issue. she found she loved showcasing her feminity and not being threatened or predated on for it, and her hair and choice of clothing was just one of those displays.

as a slave, she previously had no choice. now, she was as free as she’d ever be, so she took anything she could get.

stepping out of her cabin, she wraps her arms around herself underneath her poncho. it’s a little chilly, nothing she can’t handle, but personally she likes her room a little warmer. it takes a moment for the temperature change to settle in, but she catches the tail end of ashara’s cloak as she quietly steps out of the hallway leading to the exit of the ship. mierrio had been aware her apprentice had been out today with andronikos (doing what she didn’t remember or have enough willpower to care), but hadn’t been aware they’d need to sneak around to return. “ashara? i wasn’t aware you’d be back so soon.”

ashara froze, andronikos behind her as she held something close to her chest underneath her outer robes. “master! ah, i’m sorry i didn’t call ahead, something…came up is all and i needed to get back!”

“what came up?” now she’s curious. what could’ve prompted ashara to be so worried to drag andronikos all the way back to the ship? it could be heat stroke, but she doesn’t look terribly sweaty or hot. they’d gone out with plenty of water this morning, but they weren’t supposed to be back for another few hours. it must’ve been important, especially if andronikos didn’t stay out by himself.

she opens her mouth to inquire, when the…thing underneath ashara’s robes wriggles. mierrio freezes mid-step just before she’s about to reach her apprentice and husband, and locks eyes with her, stifling her yelp of fear. “ashara. what was that?”

“uh…nothing master!” she says a little too quickly, making moves to step backwards into the engine area, where she usually resides during the day, andronikos attempting to block mierrio’s view of her.

narrowing her eyes, mierrio raises her voice a bit, crossing her arms over her chest. “ashara zavros, what did you bring aboard my ship?”

she and andronikos nervously make eye contact, almost having a whole conversation between just those looks. and mierrio revel hates being left out of anything. however, her apprentice doesn’t need any more prompting before undoing the top of her robes and tenderly pulling out a tanned, yellow blanket. it’s clearly covering a bundle of some sort as mierrio tiptoes forward, brushing a loose hair away from her face as ashara hands it to andronikos softly, muttering “you explain it to her.”

“explain what?” she asks, almost getting a glance of what was in the bundle as andronikos holds it closer to his chest just out of view. “andronikos…”

“i’ll explain in a minute, sith. just promise you won’t have my head.” he says defensively. she gives him a look that makes him blush a bit in the dark lighting before she sighs, and nods.

“i won’t have your head, not for now at least.”

ashara visibly gulps as andronikos pulls a sliver of the blanket off the bundle. beneath it, is a sleeping green twi'lek infant. it’s tiny fists are balled up, close to their face, clearly dreaming as they breath softly, barely audible among the other sounds of the ship. they’re face is darker than their hands, so she figures he must’ve been out in the sun unprotected for a while (not unusual on tatooine at all) before they’d brought him back.

“andronikos revel, you brought a baby onto the ship.”

“yes?”

“why?”

“well, it’s kind of a long story.” he shifts the bundle to cradle them better as mierrio cocks a suspcious eyebrow, her eyes continually being dragged back to the baby as they shift ever so slightly against andronikos’ arms. “we were out in the dune sea, right? out there looting some of the pirates, business as usual. then, ashara wandered off, so i had to go find her,” ashara jabs him in his side (a move mierrio had once taught her during basic training without a saber), light enough not to make him drop their visitor, but hard enough to make him yelp ‘ow’. “not hard, obviously, but when i found her, she said she heard crying somewhere. so i followed her for a bit, and in a little camp nestled away near a cliff, we found a tent. that tent had this one in it.”

“there was nobody there, and with closer inspection, no one had been for a couple of days. to put it plainly, we figured no one was coming back for him.” ashara shrugs. “i’m sorry master, but we couldn’t just leave him out there all by himself.”

mulling over her present thoughts, she took a deep breath and exhaled. “and what did you intend to do with him once you arrived back on the ship?” they surely didn’t have the supplies to be raising a baby, they’d been running on fumes since they landed in mos ila. now that she thought about it, she had forgotten to remind the rest of the crew of that.

“well, we didn’t get that far once we got back to the spaceport. our immediate concern was making sure he stayed cool and hydrated.” ashara responded. “andronikos suggested raising him ourselves.”

“you did what?” she asked, quieter as she steeled her eyes on her husband.

“ashara suggested giving him to an orphanage, and i agreed.” he said, stepping back a bit from her nervously as she puts her hands on her hips. “'less you had another idea?”

she could hear the hope in his voice, that she would have another idea and possibly agree with his original suggestion. “my room, now. give him to ashara, we need to talk.”

“good luck.” mierrio could hear from her apprentice as she turned around, stalking right back to her room (well, their room, but it was difficult referring to it as such).

“nice knowing you, jedi.” andronikos responded, following after her.

-

“alright, what do you want to talk about, mier?” she must be giving him a sour look, because he’s trying to butter her up again. “c'mon babe, you’re not actually mad are you?”

“mad is an understatement, andronikos.”

“okay.” he takes his arm away from around her shoulders as she leans back against the wall in their quarters. “look, maybe not my best moment, but you sith are all about family right?”

“is that what you intended for us and this twi'lek to be? a family?” she sounds completely and utterly sarcastic, and she doesn’t care either. “stars, what’s gotten to you?”

“well, you don’t have to be so upset about it, sith.”

“i’d be less upset if you’d told me first.”

he rubs his temples as she’s trying to keep her simmering anger from boiling over. he had no bad intentions, she knows that. andronikos has never tried to hurt her, and she doubts he ever will, but for her to…to. to be a mother? is that what he intended for her to do if they did take this baby in?

oh stars. she can barely keep her own crew (much less herself) out of harm’s way. much less an infant that couldn’t even wield a blaster yet, and depended on her to keep them safe and warm and fed.

she panicking unnecessarily now, she can tell, but having to take care of the children of the dancers had when she was still a slave on nar shaddaa hadn’t ended well. she missed those that survived, and often felt that she’d failed them in some way. and while she’s not a teenager anymore, she’s also aware there’s at least a decade seperating her and her husband. something they’d never discussed, but something she was always mildly aware of.

“look, mierrio. i know maybe this isn’t…well perfect-”

“far from it.”

“but i mean, not saying it’s always been a dream but i like entertaining the idea of you and i…y'know raising a kid or two. you don’t have to say yes, i’m not forcing you to, taking him back to dromound kaas probably isn’t advisable. but-” he’s searching for words as she goes through her own thoughts. she’d never taken andronikos for a family man (he’s a pirate for star’s sake, and she’s a sith. either of them could die, leaving the other a single parent or in the worst case scenario, leaving their child as an orphan), but she’d be lying if she said she never entertained the idea of children as well. especially after all of the talk about leaving a legacy behind when she was dead. maybe force-sensitive, maybe not. darker skin, lighter skin. brown eyes, green eyes. black hair, brown hair. an adventerous little girl, a quickshot little boy. she’d never gotten over the idea of having one of her own, holding an infant in her arms with the surname revel and part of the kallig legacy.

them being hers. being theirs. being a product of her love for this insufferable pirate.

“i never said no, andronikos.” she eventually says, breaking the silence.

“i-what?” he looks stunned for a second.

“i never said no. i just said i’d be less upset if you’d informed me of your…find, earlier.” she muses for a moment, before continuing on, partially daydreaming (also very slowly realizing his comment about sending him to dromound kaas held some truth with him being a twi'lek), “it is true, sith do value family. and while i am most definitely not ready to carry ours… i would be willing to raise this one as our own.”

“you would?” it’s not elation in his eyes, or maybe it is, but he’s most definitely happy. something that sometimes takes a bit for mierrio to figure out if he’s not directly smiling (she’s always been bad with emotions, apparently having a resting bitch face and more oblivious than she’d like to be). “means a lot, mierrio.”

“oh, i know.” she smirks, sidling up to him as she leans up against his body. his kisses are like fire as they battle for dominance for a moment, though as always, she let’s him win. “alright, don’t get yourself too excited, andronikos.”

“fine, fine.” he doesn’t pull away from her though. some days she feels like his eyes stare into her soul, and unlike other men, she welcomes it. she has nothing to hide from him, and she’s not afraid he’ll wound her if she says something wrong. he brushes a loose strand of hair from her face as she kisses him again. there’s one of those mischevous smiles on his lips again, and it’s absolutely infectious. “we might as well get back before your apprentice assumes i’m dead.”

“if we have to.” she responds, as her eyes wander to her small cabinet that stored her more…personal effects, almost groaning as she imagines the dress. “you also ruined my evening, andronikos.”

“ah, i’m sorry sith. know you were looking forward to it.” one hand snakes down her hip, and she smirks, figuring what he’s implying. “guess we have one more thing to celebrate tonight, don’t we?”

“it seems that way, doesn’t it?” she asks, allowing herself one more kiss in the darkness of their room. her entire life has just changed, most likely for the better, hopefully. she hasn’t met a lot of other mothers, especially those that are sith, so she’s going in blind. she’s praying to whatever deity that’s out there she doesn’t get herself or this baby killed.

-

returning the communal area in the ship, ashara still has the baby with her, but talos is with her now, as well as khem and xalek lurking a few feet behind her. she’s seen ashara smile before, but there’s something absolutely whimsical about seeing her smile at the twi'lek infant. she looks up once she sees mierrio return, though her smile fades to her disappointment. “master.”

“ashara.” she’s mulling over how to respond, sitting down next to her as her apprentice straightens rigidly against the couch. she’d have to talk to ashara later, and possibly xalek about not being as afraid of her as they seem to be. softening her features requires a bit of concentration, but she does so. “may i hold him?”

“yes, of course.” she says, carefully handing her the small baby. she seems as if ashara truly does not want to let him go, so instead of heading back to her quarters as she’d originally wanted to, she stays on the couch.

he’s a cute little thing, with startling purple eyes that stood out against his jade green skin. she’s not sure whether he’s even directly looking at her, as they wander from person to person. but, mierrio can feel herself internally relaxing, allowing herself a smile. it becomes more and more of a reality that this is her son, or at least would be legally once they registered him as such.

“he’s cute, ain’t he mierrio?” andronikos asks, standing behind the couch as he leans over to look at him. “told you we wouldn’t die, ashara.”

“i had my concerns, i’ll admit that.” she says, smiling.

“what shall we do with him, my lord?” talos questions.

she scans the others faces, ashara’s hopeful, much like talos’. khem…well khem doesn’t seem to have any, nor does xalek. however, she tilts her head backwards to meet andronikos’, who while surprised, understands her. it’s a brief kiss, one that leaves her wanting more, but she figures it’s enough of an explanation. it’s the first time they’ve ever kissed in front of the crew, but turning back to them, she smiles. “we’ll keep him.”

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

god this is so bad. i’m actually crying with how bad this is. i can’t promise it gets better but i can promise more of it.

i also like to headcanon my companions bonding together. the companions of the week? mierrio’s apprentice n her husband. i headcanon andronikos as very,, per se chaotic at times. ashara is most likely still pretty gullible,, but also p chaotic in her own right.

tl;dr i think they’d be good friends, bonding from taris to hoth without anyone else but khem val n his possession by zash.

[overdrivels]

The Hanzo-disliking anon here. I would have actually preferred discussing this w/ you privately but I prefer to be on anon for the whole "doesn't like a beloved popular character" thing. The reason I don't like Hanzo is how he seems to have the audacity to act like the offended party with Genji when he's the one who did wrong. It's not even that he doesn't realize he did wrong. He abandoned his clan due to guilt. I can't for the life of me understand what appears to be his victim complex. (1/2)

(2/2) He goes around calling Genji “trash” to his face in the Japanese version of OW for goodness’ sake. That Genji is dead to him and stuff. It could be that he feels Genji betrayed him by refusing to join the Shimada business or that he feels like his redemption quest has been for nothing, but those are terrible reasons and don’t excuse his shitty behavior. I’ve been trying to think of what the writers are trying to go for with him, but I just can’t imagine anything that justifies his attitude

(3/2 I miscalculated 2 asks aren’t enough) I hope I didn’t come off as a jerk. I have no issue with people who like Hanzo and I don’t want to disrespect or undermine them. I’m just irritated at how self-entitled the character seems to be. The reason I actually brought this up with you is bc I was hoping you’d have some insights on this that will help me understand why he’s the way he is.

You’ve been very respectful in the way you express your opinions and well articulated in your reasons, so I’m actually extremely happy that you’ve presented this to me and feel comfortable enough to share. (You have no fucking clue how pleased I am to have a discussion like this, really.)

This is rather long (very long), so I’m placing this under a cut. To everyone else, please be mindful of each other’s opinions, especially when it’s being conveyed so civilly. Understandably, if you are of the opposite opinion, you may feel angered, but I ask that you refrain from attacking anyone and if need be, present your opinion and thoughts in the same manner as this anon.

(I also ask that this doesn’t get reblogged because I don’t think I can handle my inbox getting wrecked by people who weren’t initially a part of the conversation or know the context of the entire discussion leading up to this.)

I’d be happy to discuss it with you on chat or something, but as it is, this’ll have to work. I’m going to preface this by saying that Hanzo doesn’t need to be (shouldn’t need to be?) justified as a character because sometimes, a character does shitty things and that shittiness (shittyness?) needs to be acknowledged and not justified for any reason because there’s no good enough explanation.

(I’m sure we’ve all experienced or done something like that in real life–did something so inexcusable without proper explanation, but there really isn’t one, and we have to accept it as is.)

I think it’s easy to look at the singular action of Hanzo killing Genji in a vacuum. Based on that singular event alone, and seeing how Hanzo acts afterward, it’s very easy to paint him as an asshole whose actions are inexcusable and he doesn’t deserve to claim that he’s the one who is hurt. In which case, absolutely. He should not act like he’s been wronged when he’s the one who started it.

But what if we start further?  

I want to look at the cause and what could’ve led up to it. Not to justify it, but to see where this could’ve come from. It’s my own opinion, but I think that people are very used to writers having their characters as is–no background unless it’s relevant to the plot, no thought of what sort of life they’ve lead up to this point, and is presented as a given. However, I see that the Overwatch team has put some effort into characters (the level of effort can be debatable, but I’m not interested in debating that), so I want to show some level of respect to the writers by trying to dig a little deeper into where, why, how–who is this character?

And I think a lot of it may have come from Hanzo’s circumstance, his relations with his brother, and his past. To understand it, we have to take a deeper look into Japanese culture (or Asian culture, in general). Now, I can’t claim that I have a complete understanding of anything, so a lot of this is just what I know (and perhaps experiences) and some speculation and logical deductions.

In life, Genji was given a freedom that Hanzo, as the eldest and the heir to a criminal syndicate, never truly enjoyed. That isn’t to say, however, that Genji didn’t have his own fair share of troubles. 「一族の恥」(ichizoku no haji)、the clan’s shame/the embarrassment of the clan is what they called him. We can leave the discussion about Genji for another day, but let’s look at how this affects Hanzo.

So from birth and even after his father’s death, he was held to a strict standard. Everyone was watching him. He was chosen by the dragons. He must not make a mistake lest he bring shame to his entire family.

In Japanese culture (and Asian culture), losing face is probably one of the worst things that could happen to you. In Western culture, it’s not that big of a deal if you embarrass yourself a little or you’re not as successful or you don’t have the respect of your subordinates. People will tease you about it, and move on.

In Asian culture, you’re pretty much fucked. No one will let you forget it, it becomes a part of you now. You will lose the respect of everyone around you, and depending on the level of face you lose, every piece of success you’ve built up can be lost in a second. It is an integral part of your identity and society. Losing face could make you a nobody, scorned, and an outcast. It can affect your job, your family, relations with neighbors, cost you that raise or promotion–it’s a big deal that cannot be contained to the words, ‘embarrassment’ or ‘shame’.

(For example: you’re at someone’s house and you’ve finished off your glass of juice, but you’re still thirsty, so you reach for more from the fridge. You’ve now made the host lose face because, by getting your own drink, you’ve shown your host that they suck at what they do and should be more attentive to you, their guest. You’ve made your host lose face. Now your host is embarrassed and that’s going to be a mark on them for a long, long time. If there were other people there, they would notice this, too, and give that person shit. This sounds absolutely silly because it’s a glass of juice, but it’s a big deal.)

Hanzo was losing face. He couldn’t control his brother. That’s a deep scar on his image, on everything he’s built up in his life. For Sojiro, his father, it was less of a deal–he let Genji do it and probably made it openly known that this was acceptable. And no one will go against Sojiro, the master of the clan and who could have them all killed in an instant.

But Hanzo?

He doesn’t have that rapport yet, so he’s subject to the scorn and nasty comments of his elders and the like. (I’m assuming there are elders and those in the clan who are of a high power that Hanzo cannot take action without consulting. It’s kind of like a Japanese company. While a President delivers the decision, the decision isn’t made it without consulting those who are affected and knowledgeable.) He can’t defend himself against them. 

Why? 

Because of the hierarchy. There’s a very specific type of hierarchy in Japan that’s difficult to explain because to understand it, you have to understand the intricacies of the culture and the dynamic of the clan, which we don’t particularly have.

(There’s a very good post about it by someone about Hanzo losing face on tumblr, but I can’t seem to find it at the moment.)

Regardless, that must’ve built up a lot of tension and repressed anger that he wasn’t allowed to express. Expressing your anger is not taken the same way as in the Western world. It’s…well, not to say it’s not acceptable, but it’s not taken the same way as it would be outside of Japan.

So, Hanzo has quite a bit on his plate. Why can’t Genji just do what he’s told? Why does he have to stand out? (As a side note, standing out in Japanese culture or disrupting the status quo is not looked kindly upon.There’s even a saying in Japanese: a nail that stands out gets hammered ( 出る杭は打たれる ).) So Genji’s defiance is another point of contention. Why does he have to keep disobeying his elders? Hanzo is Genji’s older brother. It’s his absolute responsibility to make sure his brother is kept in line. That’s the burden of being the eldest. If Genji isn’t in line, Hanzo has failed in his basic duties in being an older brother. (The implications are much more serious, and I’m not quite sure how to express it.)

He may be acing his studies, and listening to his father, but he can’t seem to exert the right amount of authority over those who should be listening to him. And his father isn’t helping by letting Genji do what he wants. He also has this constant pressure to do better because his best isn’t enough from both his family and the clan. Logically, they wouldn’t follow someone who is weak or doesn’t have his shit in order. But he doesn’t. There’s always something tripping him up, and that’s his brother. Not to blame Genji, because again, he has his own share of troubles, but from Hanzo’s point of view, he was likely the source of a lot of his resentment.

In short, Hanzo is a failure. His accomplishments, his perfectionism, none of it means anything if he’s constantly getting shit thrown back at his face.

I seriously believe that all the lines he says in-game to himself such as, “Never second best,” or “Unworthy,” or “You will never amount to anything!” were all just Hanzo projecting.

In the Japanese version, he refers to Genji as 「くず」 (trash). I don’t know what to make of this. I could take the angle that it’s Hanzo projecting onto Genji still, or I could speculate that he truly believes he’s superior, or take it a little more neutrally, he’s repeating what everyone else calls Genji. But if I had to guess, it’s a mixture of everything. This is something that stumps me a little bit, but the above is the best explanation I have for it.

When Hanzo becomes the master of the clan, he was probably told to put Genji in line. And Genji didn’t want anything to do with the clan. He wanted to live his life, enjoy it. But that sort of enjoyment came with certain responsibilities that he has shirked since the time of their father. But with Hanzo as the new leader of the clan, he had to put Genji in line or…do something about it.

It’s very likely that the rest of the clan saw this as an opportunity to make their name good, to get rid of those who stood out, to right everything. Their new leader is young and inexperienced without his father to protect him. So, Hanzo was presented with those two choices: straighten Genji out or kill him lest you bring more shame to the clan.

Now, Hanzo is given an opportunity to redeem himself and his image and the clan’s image. This goes beyond the redemption quest he set out for after Genji’s death. I think he was on one even before then. He can save face and fix everything if he listens to his elders (his betters in the hierarchy). He can fix everything if he can get rid of the problem–Genji.

He did it. He did not take an insult to his power passively, he rectified it by putting an end to it. He restored confidence in his clan as an assassin, as master of the clan, as his brother.

…but it wasn’t so.

After killing his brother, we all know he left the Shimada clan. We’re not sure if it was immediately after or some time after. The timing may be very significant, but as we do not readily know, we’ll skip over it for now. We can easily call his leaving an act of cowardice, or the result of his guilt, or that he wanted to do something he always wanted to do but never found an opportunity to do so. He wanted to leave. He wanted the freedom that Genji had, but couldn’t have because his immediate family still existed.

By leaving, he thought for himself for once.

Ah, not to mean that he was blindly following anyone’s orders or anything, but for once, he thought of himself. He was selfish. In Japanese culture, the collective comes first. The clan, the whole of Hanamura, the whole of society comes first.

But for once, Hanzo became selfish, and so, left everything behind. Here’s the funny thing though, by killing Genji, he found a way out for his freedom, but by killing Genji, he also managed to never fully express the envy and hate he may have had for his brother.

In many or most cultures, you’re supposed to revere the dead. It’s pretty much the same in Japanese culture.

Now he’s been mourning for ten years, still unable to express that hate that he has supposed buried when he killed his brother. And guess who shows up? Genji. Back to sling shit into his face again. Not only is he a failure as a brother for being unable to keep his brother in line, as the master of the clan by leaving, but also as a killer by having one of his most life-altering kills come back from the grave.

So, under such circumstances, I would absolutely be pissed beyond hell and vent in almost any way I can because pride is a fragile thing. Or at least, it is for Hanzo.

But here’s an interesting thought: I also wonder if he knew, deep down, that it would come to this. He didn’t seem entirely too surprised beyond the first few seconds. As a matter of fact, he seemed to have gone back to something more childish, acting almost immediately like a big brother–scolding his younger brother for something and telling him to get his life together. He slips into the role almost too easily.

We can chalk it up to shock, but couldn’t it be that he also knew he never actually dealt the finishing blow and that’s been nagging at him this whole time? Not that he gave his brother a chance to live, but that he let his brother suffer. If you’re going to kill someone you love, you’d make it quick and painless, right? We can argue that he never loved his brother, but we can also argue that he was warring with himself and couldn’t bring himself to do it.

I must sound like a broken record, but to me, it’s very interesting to speculate and think about. There are so many angles we can take on this and the possibilities are endless. But it could also be that his character could also be very simple broken down as an man who mistakenly thinks he is being wronged all the time.

But yes, your thoughts are valid and meaningful to me in a way that I can’t explain. They also gave me some perspective on why some people might not like him, and I really want to thank you for helping me expand my horizons. In light of that, I hope I’ve been able to articulate why he may be the way he is, whether he is justified in his behavior or not is a completely different story. I’m just interested in why.

(There was a lot more I would’ve love to elaborate on, but I think this would’ve actually turned into a research paper. I hope this has been helpful and sufficient in answering your questions even though it’s a little disorganized in its presentation. Again, it’s perfectly fine to dislike a character–not all characters are made to be liked, and not all people are expected to like all characters.)

[peter-parkouuuur]

Chapter 6: Forgetting Peter Parker (Spider-boy - Peter Parker x Stark!Reader)

A/n: I don’t really mention the original marvel characters that much since Y/n Stark’s character doesn’t live with the rest of the Avengers but actually resides on the Upper East Side (as if it weren’t already that obvious). BTW, I apologize for the various time lapses because the big events usually happen on weekends. By the way, the new guy stepping in will kinda be like this story’s version of Nate Archibald (bc let’s face it, he’s gorgeous af) and let’s just say he’s going to form the love triangle; Wouldn’t you want to date a guy from Vieux riche family? ;)

 Also, I may have inserted a quote from Riverdale, if you managed to spot it, congratulations!

UES = Upper East Side

Prologue, Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Before Y/n Stark’s rise to the social ladder, there was Liz Allan, the Upper East Side’s golden girl, Spence Middle School’s perfect student, and the talk of the town. She was the batch valedictorian, was vied to be the first in line at the Dispensary Cotillion and Debutante Ball where the children of the Upper East Side get to show their grand entrance to the high society. Liz was the ideal lady but Y/n knew she had to step up to take the crown from her ex-best friend.

Unfortunately, Liz Allan left without an explanation whatsoever, that’s when Y/n Stark rose to become Spence’s golden girl sitting on top of the Elites pyramid, the Queen Bee of the Upper East Side, and every Prep school boy’s dream girl.

For everyone on the UES, Liz Allan is a dead woman walking, nobody knows her whereabouts, thinking she went to boarding school or migrated somewhere far from the US. Y/n’s prominence is what keeps her moving, and she intends to stay that way.

Tony steps inside the Stark Penthouse apartment on the Upper East Side. He sees his daughter holding papers in one hand and a calculator in the other.

“Hi, sweetie! It’s a Sunday night, what are you doing?” Tony sits beside Y/n looking at her oddly before looking at the television screen to see the news.

“I’m almost done with this month’s audit. I know you like it when your staff is early when it comes to tasks so here I am finishing what I have to do, so all I have to do tomorrow are; go to school until 10 AM since the teachers will have a general meeting or something, I wasn’t really paying attention…. and then I’m going to drop this off at your office in the afternoon.” Y/n states.

“Wow, you’re like a self-cleaning oven. Efficient, just the way I like my staff, but you’re my daughter. Honey, you need to relax. I’ve always been proud of your work ethic but you’re a kid, you’re my kid, I want you to let loose, show them how Starks party.” Tony reminds you.

“Are you telling me to go out and do something stupid? Because you have Nicholas to do all the party stuff for you.” Y/n replies, not looking at her dad.

“Yeah well he’s at Dartmouth, I can’t really have my son party his life away since he’s going to inherit most of the company.” Tony responds.

“What about me and Eloise? What do we get?” Y/n looks at her dad sternly.

“See now, you’re starting to look like your mother when you’re angry. You get to keep the penthouse apartment and besides, I thought you wanted to go to Med school?” Tony asks.

“Yeah but I also want to be part of the Stark Industries, at least own a share of it.” You tell your dad.

“Alright, alright. At this rate, you can always consider Law. You have your mother’s tenacity.” Tony jokes.

“Well, would you look at that.” Tony looks at the TV screen to see Spiderman breaking in the Washington Monument.

You lift your head up from all the slouching to see what your dad’s reacting to. A footage of Liz and Spiderman locking eyes the moment he saves her from the falling elevator.

“Gross.” Your face forms into a disgusted expression.

“Hold on, the Liz, Peter was talking about is the same Liz from Spence?” Tony inquires.

“Yup. It’s a small world, dad.” Y/n sighs.

“Did Peter tell you about his infatuation with Liz? How’d you know about it?” You furrow your eyebrows at your dad.

“No, the baby monitor in his suit sends me updates of his whereabouts and what he’s been doing. He might have mentioned her a couple of times through his suit.” Your dad replies.

“Of course, he’s mentioned her.” You mumble.

‘Because even when she’s no longer living near me, she still manages to annoy me to my very core. Everything just has to be about Liz.’ You think to herself.

“Want to talk about it or am I just going to assume that you’re harboring feelings for Peter Parker?” Tony questions.

“Dad, clearly Peter doesn’t want anything to do with me or my life here on the UES, he’s all about becoming an avenger and getting the girl of his dreams, Liz freaking Allen.” Y/n sneers.

“The conversation about Peter is making me feel uncomfortable; Firstly because you’re my daughter and you’re only turning 16 next week. Secondly, I don’t like you gushing on my protege, I thought you were into Prep school boys? You know, those future Yalies type. Lastly, I trust your every decision, Peter is the stupidest boy if he thinks you’re not the most gorgeous girl in Manhattan.” Tony smiles at his daughter reassuringly.

“Thanks, dad. Creepy comment, though.” You raise your eyebrows at him.

“You know I’m bad at these ‘Father-Daughter’ talks. You’re like a self-cleaning oven, I trust you well enough.” He pats you lightly on the knee.

‘Did he just compare me to an appliance? twice?!’ You think to yourself.

“Anyway, I have to go back to the Headquarters. Good night, sweetie.” Your dad kisses you on the forehead before heading off.

“Good night, dad! Go save the world for me.” You exclaim a second before the you hear the elevator door closing.

The news is still focused on Spiderman.

“Ugh, Spiderman is sooo two weeks ago.” You grumble, turning off the television.

Your phone’s IM ringtone starts to buzz like crazy.

Tinatintin: Any of you seen the news?

ElizaBabe: What are you, 30??

You: Liz Allan still has it.

MaddieMadness: Dalton boys are raving about Liz’s comeback, even if it’s on the news.

You: That’s not what I call a comeback, for all I know, Liz Allan is a dead woman walking on the UES.

Tinatintin: Looks like everyone knows Liz still exists.

You: But still irrelevant.

ElizaBabe: Completely.

MaddieMadness: On it…

The three of them understood what Maddie’s onto, she’s Spence’s real life gossip girl, minus the anonymity, the obsession over the Upper East Siders and the fact that Spence girls are not as catty as the girls of Constance-Billard.

You move around your bed, trying hard to fall asleep when a thud against your window interrupts your reverie.

Y/n sits up and sees a shadow lurking against the bedroom window. You turn the lights on to see Spiderman outside your window. You were about to open the seal when Peter decides to sling away.

********************************************

Y/n and the rest of group are gathered at the Gramercy Tavern for lunch

“Okay girls, now I brought you here today to discuss Y/n’s current situation.” Eliza starts.

“Girls, as much as I enjoy all of you partaking in my non-existent love life, I’d rather not talk about that Tony Stark ass-kisser, Liz Allan fanboy.” You hiss.

“Exactly, hence the reason why we found you a new guy. His name is Ted Vanderbilt, his surname already speaks for himself and he’s the captain of Dalton’s Lacrosse Team.” Tina states.

“I need a picture.” You pretend to be uninterested.

Maddie takes her phone out see a teenage guy with golden blonde hair and sparkly blue eyes, looking like a true poster boy of the UES.

Just the distraction Y/n needs from all the Spiderman fiasco she’s experienced, plus he’s a Vanderbilt, what more can Y/n ask for?

“Girls, set up the date. Tomorrow night, here at 7 pm.” You tell your friends who just nod along in excitement.

Y/n drops off the files on top of his dad’s desk and sits on his office chair. Out of sheer curiosity, you open his Mac desktop and look for Spiderman’s baby monitor protocol.

Hundreds of videos appear of Spiderman jumping off buildings, web-slinging along Queens. Then there were clips of Peter wearing only the mask in front of the mirror.

“Hey what’s up, Liz? Peter’s told me a lot about you.” Peter does a wink through his suit.

You roll your eyes and click fast forward.

“Hey Y/n! I heard you’re into bad boys, I don’t mean to brag but, I’m bad at almost everything I do.” He shrugs his shoulders.

You see a footage of Peter scrolling through his science notes and you notice his sketch of you and Spiderman.

You turn on the television to see live news regarding a Staten Island ferry.

“Oh my god, Peter.” Y/n mumbles.

You take your phone out from your Mulberry bag and call your dad.

“What is it, honey?” Tony picks up.

“Dad, Peter needs help. He tore a Staten Island ship in half.” You say calmly.

“He what?! I’m on it, sweetie.” Tony then hangs up.

“You owe me, Peter Parker.” You murmur.

Y/n is sitting on one of the Fendi Casa couches she picked out for the Stark Tower living room, waiting for your dad’s update.

You hear loud knocks against the window to see Spiderman himself, signaling you to open the window. Y/n opens the window for Peter to enter.

“Peter, do you realize what you’ve done? You could’ve died. What the hell were you thinking? Did you not think about the consequences of your actions?” Y/n bombards him with questions.

Peter removes his mask as Y/n notices the redness in eyes, her anger washes away immediately.

“My actions? Those bad guys had millions worth of weapons of destruction. Somebody had to stop them, I didn’t want to sit around and wait for bad things to happen because I have a responsibility to the world.” Peter defends himself.

“No Peter, you are not like one of the Avengers just yet, you’re only 16. My dad told you to stay away from those guys and you didn’t listen. Your responsibilities are your education and your Aunt May because if anything happens to you, it might kill her.” Y/n replies.

“And besides, how could we even forget about Liz Allan, Peter Parker’s dream girl and Spence’s brightest, nobody could’ve forgotten about her. Even when she’s not here, she’s still being talked about. Don’t you see how frustrating it was for me to live behind her shadows when we were growing up?” You feel your tears pooling.

“We were best of friends, Peter, but I always felt like I had to prove myself to the UES while Liz… She didn’t need to, she was the perfect student, the perfect daughter, heck she was Spence’s Golden girl. I was just the salutatorian, always coming in second. My parents wanted me to be like my best friend, they put the pressure on me and not on my siblings, because they knew that living in the High society means having to show yourself that you are the best of what your parents are. You know how my dad is.” Y/n continues.

“I was just trying to do the right thing, Y/n. You’re Y/n Stark, an Upper East Sider and I’m just Peter Parker from Queens, I can’t say the right words to make you feel better because my life is no walk in the park either. I’m scared, okay? I’m scared that if I don’t do something about it, I might lose an important someone again.” Peter sighs.

“-And Liz…. Liz was my real first crush, the first girl I ever truly liked, and she’s always been nice to me. I just… I care for her. I care for you too, Y/n.. You have no idea hard it was for me try and not to like you because I do, I really really do.” Peter adds.

“Peter-” You try to put your hand on his arm but his hand stops you from doing so.

“I’m sorry… for everything.” He looks at you with a sincere look on his face.

“Get your hands off my daughter, Mr. Parker.” Tony walks in in full Iron Man gear.

“Sweetie, it’s time to go home.” Your dad steps off from his suit and walks over towards you.

Peter lets go of you as the two of you look at one another.

“Dad, it’s only 3 pm.” You remind him.

“I don’t care. I need to have a word with Mr. Parker, alone.” Your dad looks at you sternly.

“Bye Peter.” You smile weakly at him before heading out.

********************************************

“Is he there?” Y/n and your three friends are on a three-way call to prepare you for the date with Ted Vanderbilt. The three girls are already seated at the Tavern.

“He just arrived! He’s wearing a gray blazer, white button downs, and dress shoes. He looks so gorgeous, Y/n/n.” Maddie sighs.

“Hey, ease up on the squealing, he’s my date.” Y/n reminds Maddie.

“Alright alright.. Settle down. Anyway, are you near? He’s already seated down.” Eliza asks.

“Turn your phone off ladies, I’m about to enter.” You tell your friends as you step out of the car.

“I’ll call you when I need you, Happy.” You smile at your father’s personal security.

Happy just nods and heads back inside the car.

“Show time.” A smirk forms on your face.

Before you could walk inside the restaurant, you see a red and blue object swinging around. Peter followed you again.

‘It’s time to let go, Parker… Because as of this moment, I’m already trying to.’ Y/n thinks to herself.

You walk inside to see to see the golden blonde boy seated at your favorite spot in your favorite restaurant while your friends are seated 3 tables away, all three of them giving you the thumbs up.

“Hi, you must be Ted Vanderbilt.” You smile down at the handsome fella.

He stands up from his seat, a bit shaken but leans in to kiss you on the cheek, not that you mind or anything.

“And you’re THE Y/n Stark. Wow. Gala pictures don’t do you justice.” He smiles at you before the two of you can sit down.

Good answer, Vanderbilt. 

Looks like Peter Parker may just have found a loophole out of Y/n Stark’s life. At least he now has time to focus on the ex-best friend Liz Allan, the former golden girl, but now just an old name for everyone on the UES, because right now, it’s all about Y/n Stark and her Waldorf-esque emergence from the chrysalis of Spence’s Red Door

————————————————————————-

TAG LIST: @multifandom-slytherin

[sometimesrosy]

Rosy, I was the anon who posted about the problematic. And I am sorry because my question clearly hurt you but to be honest, I think you misunderstood where I was coming from. As a black woman, it is exhausting for me to constantly see innocent, unarmed black man murdered in real life. So when it happened on a show that I care about, it was triggering and upsetting- not that he died, but HOW he died. I thought they'd do better. Likewise, I'm bisexual and while I actually didn't love Lexa, I

cared about what she represented, which was huge for the LGBTQ community. So again, my problem is not that she died - that made sense for the narrative- but HOW they killed her off. It was very much a bury your gays moment, one that NONE of in the community saw coming bc of how the 100 advertises itself. As a bisexual woman, that was very upsetting. I know ppl mistakes, and like u said, we have to demand them to do better. but my point was it was a very hard/disappointimoment for our community. Finally, about O and B..I think you misunderstood me again. I do not believe O is racist or that mixed families are inferior. Again, from my lived experience as a black woman, seeing white ppl beat up ppl of color is a part of my life. I come to tv to escape that. And so again, bc of how the 100 advertises itself, i thought it’d be more sensitive and show O taking her anger out a DIFFERENT way. i think u just misunderstood me bc we’re actually on the same side. i agree that it’s up to us to demand that the show does better bc as amazing as it is, it does have faults, like any show. and I was just trying to open up a conversation with you but ways in which they could’ve done better. That’s all. You’ve clearly been attacked by ppl for being mixed and that sucks and I’m sorry. ppl should not devalue mixed ppl’s experiences. but that’s not what I was doing. I was just saying that those 3 moments were uncomfortable for me, as a queer black woman. I support you and I love your blog.

Yeah, you hit a button with me. I’ve been invalidated all my life for being mixed race, erased from one side or the other, and I had some problems not too long ago here on tumblr where I was basically told to sit down and shut up because I wasn’t POC enough to speak. About my own experience.

I’m not mad at you. I get your point, too. 

I honestly don’t think this show is here to make us feel safe. This show is here to rip our hearts out. I’ve NEVER been triggered by a show the way this show has triggered me. And i think, far from being a bad thing, I think it’s because this show is dealing with vital and painful and important issues. 

I feel like we should be able to TALK about these things, about abuse and about racism and about violence and suicide and learn something from the show. And maybe if we were able to discuss these things without attacking others for their different opinions or perspectives or intersections or trying to silence them, I think we’d get a lot more out of this show, AND be able to face head on these intense issues they depict. 

Honestly, I think they fell into the BYG trope because they did NOT understand the issues well enough, because there’s nothing in the narrative that deals with this issue. It was absolutely unconscious on their part. But it’s also because they didn’t have any LGBT writers working for them. This is why we need better representation, not just of straight white christian people telling our stories, but we need to be able to tell our stories, too.

The thing with Lincoln though? I think it was done deliberately so that we could examine the kind of issues SURROUNDING the traumatic experiences. I think people connected a lot with police brutality that we’ve seen so much of, but when I saw that story, that’s not what I related it to at all, because I was thinking civil rights, Martin Luther King JR, Malcom X, even Jesus. And it’s not that there wasn’t a connection to contemporary social issues, but there were OTHER things there too.

And that’s where I have problems with fandom, because instead of looking at the complex issues that are involved in the story, we’re getting people stuck on one or two buzz word social issues, and all of a sudden, it’s like everyone has figured EVERYTHING out and they’ve decided there is a social justice horror that must be denounced. And meanwhile, they aren’t UNDERSTANDING the whole story, just one little corner of it and they are shutting down the conversation, so people aren’t allowed to talk about anything other than accepted dogma. I hate that.

[transandcrs]