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#and it's STIM-INDUCING
deconstructthesoup · 8 months
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Having undercut: Good
Feeling undercut: Great
Feeling undercut after you've showered: Sensory heaven
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lilacmornings · 1 year
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wait i had a vision a la thats so raven
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cryptid-stimming · 7 months
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Crawling Down a Submarine Torpedo Tube
[Image description: 3 gifs; from left to right.
A gif jumpcutting as someone crawls into an empty torpedo tube on a navy submarine, the soles of their shoes face the camera as they wiggle themselves inside (submarine machinery can be seen around the circular entrance of the tube). A gif of the same person using their hand to rapidly gesture at the internal mechanisms of the tube while aiming a bright torch and camera into the empty tunnel. And a gif of the same person twisting themselves out of the tunnel feet and legs first, the bright torch they are carrying flashing at the camera.
End of image description.]
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starstruckstufful · 8 months
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Mandela catalogue in general board? Black/grey stims with a creepy vibe and gifs from the series if possible
i forgot how bad this series scared me when i first discovered it.. horror themes under the cut (~ ̄▽ ̄)~
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mandela catalogue stimboard for anon
(o゜▽゜)o☆
👻 dark stimboard !! 🌘 requests open ✔
x | x | xx | x | xx | x | x
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abyssal-luka · 10 months
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that reminds me, have you ever seen how weird they got about stimboards on tiktok? fucking wild
#luka 🦐#bf who cares (more than me) aboutt this topic take it away:#first of all stimboards don't make sense in a video format#which is why many people started complaining that stimboards don't even follow their theme#tumblr stimboards are really just gifsets of whatever visual stims a person want to see often linked to a specific aesthetic character etc#this works on tumblr bc you can put it in a 3x3 grid the very middle being a picture of your theme to tie it all together#or just another gif if you didn't have a theme#ofc it doesn't 'fit the theme' you're consuming it in an inferior way#second - people started making ''unsafe'' stimboards (with jumpscares and possibly paranoia-inducing statements)#(or something I've never seen any)#this was only really a problem because people were being disingenuous about it and labeling them as 'safe /srs'#side note: do not fucking misuse tone tags on purpose that defeats the entire point you asshole#which actually did spawn a debate about whether it was okay to misuse tone tags as part of the joke/whatever#it's not. ty for coming to my ted talk#so then for a bit we had people posting 'unsafe' stimboards and labeling them safe and deleting any comments correcting that#it got to the point where people came up with heart colour emoji codes to sneakily say whether it was actually safe or not#even now there's a lot of stimboards on tiktok with a 'not babying' disclaimer#bc I guess someone decided stimboards are babying autistic people (and decided that for every autistic person ever ofc [sarcastic])#anyway the whole thing is bonkers#moral or the story stay away from tiktok#: thank you for that#any typos are *not* being fixed because we are *not* typing all that again
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thelegendofmrrager · 2 years
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Having trichotillomania is simultaneously the best and worst sensory experience hope that makes literally any sense
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neotibicen-linnei · 1 month
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pros of growing my hair out
gonna look really hot and androgynous once it's long
cons
always touching me
taking 1000 years to even grow past my ears
hasn't been this length since like 2017 & I've apparently forgotten how to do any styling whatsoever
sweaty
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i need to find a group of bad indie extroverted musicians who will let me do crazy costumes for music videos or else i legitimately think i will die
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threnodians · 1 year
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just me rambling about my job (affectionate):
the job can be rather stressful but the pros FAR, FAR outweigh the cons; legitimately every single person that i work with/for (and yes, i am including the ceo whom i have actually met) is either on the spectrum (both lgbtqia+ and/or autism) and/or some form of mentally ill and/or some form of chronically ill and/or some form of “weeb” or “gamer” and i just... like no it isn’t perfect and it’s really stressful right now because i’m new and there’s shittons of policies and procedures to memorize and the overall job duties to learn but the incentives and overall EVERYTHING make me feel like bawling my eyes out y’all screw veterinary medicine this is my career (at this specific company which shall not be named) for the rest of my life
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corvidshipping · 2 years
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also uhhhhhfthhh not to be weird or anything but i found out semi recently it turns out i actually Do hve. at least one happy stim. i thought i only had stress stims (rapidly tapping my teeth/hard objects with my nails) and neutral stims (rocking, leg shaking - which can also be stress stims it’s not mutually exclusive for me) but i found it out when i got to see various animatronics bc they’re like. my biggest. special interest in the world. i call it stip steppin. or stippin. idk how to describe it but i just kinda,. step on the spot really fast like i’m bouncing from foot to foot and also jogging in place at the same time.
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trans-leek-cookie · 2 years
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Sometimes being Trans comes out of left field at you in both dysphoria and euphoria. Sometimes shit sucks but the flag is so fucking beautiful and hrmdnshjsmsbabans
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minniesmutt · 2 months
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☾ ━━━━━━ 𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐡
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☾ ━━━ PAIRING: LEE KNOW X READER ☾ ━━━ CONTENT: SET IN 2010S, COLLEGE AU, POPULAR!LINO, PHOTOGRAPHER!READER, SWITCH!LEE KNOW, SWITCH!READER, NO AGE IS GIVEN BUT THEY ARE WRITTEN TO BE IN THEIR JUNIOR AND SENIOR YEAR, ALCOHOL, OVERTHINKING, ANXIETY, HINTED INSECURITIES BUT NOTHING IS DESCRIBED, FOOD, ASS GRABBING, PET NAMES, BITING, ORAL (F. REC), MUTUAL MASTURBATION, BOOB PLAY, MARKING, MULTIPLE ORGASMS, CUMSHOT, PHOTOS, PROTECTED SEX, SLIGHT OVER STIM, ALLUDES TO AFTERCARE ☾ ━━━ WC: 8.4K ☾ ━━━ COMMISSIONED WORK! ☾ ━━━ 18+ work!! minors and ageless/blank blogs DNI! you will be blocked, put an indicator on your blog somewhere that you are 18+ before interacting with this work/blog
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     Accepted. One of the best things Y/n had read in a long time. Getting accepted into her top choice. She had applied on a whim, not thinking she would get in. When the letter came she was sure she was rejected. Especially since the art program was fairly good at the school and some had told her it was harder to get into. But here she was two years later. Now in her junior year and one of the top students in the program. Even if that meant sacrificing her social life for it.
     The extent of Y/n’s interactions with her schoolmates was limited to projects. Pairing up with a couple of people in class and photographing the other majors with their permission. The campus itself was the perfect backdrop for every photo. Even out of class, she was photographing everything, getting people in the background too, just wanting to document the experience to show her family when she visited them.
     Adjusting to not living with her family was a weird experience. Her family called and texted her every day for the first few months of her freshman year. Just making sure she was settling in alright. She wasn’t exactly a social butterfly, keeping to herself. So it was natural for her family to worry about her being on her own. Was it anxiety-inducing at first? Yes. But she’d settled in pretty well after a while.
     College parties were never really her thing either. She’d focused on her projects and classes and voluntarily chose to miss other aspects of her college experience. Even with her family telling her it was okay to post once in a while. Parties, dating, making friends, all that she put aside. 
     But there was always a bug that crawled out of the woodwork and bit. And this one had to be around Halloween. Hyunjin— someone she was acquainted with from their sharing school art program — had invited her to his housemate's Halloween party. Probably since he was inviting everyone else in the class and didn’t want her to feel excluded. 
     At the time she just offered him a smile and said okay. Not planning on going at the time, maybe just staying in and watching horror movies. Her usual plans always seemed to work but for some reason, she decided to go. Maybe make a few friends too.
     Y/n managed to find a costume that wasn’t super skimpy but was still cute enough to pass. She knew no one really took the holiday seriously in their early adult years and didn’t want to stand out too much. She got dressed the night of the party and walked down to the house the party was at. It wasn’t too far from the campus dormitories. Some people were out in front of the house whenever she walked up. 
     Anxiety about walking into a new place filled her. Especially with how packed it was. All the bodies just made the room even more hot too. She weaved her way through her crowd of drunk college students, not trying to be rude or anything. The bass from the speakers thumped against her skull as she made her way to the kitchen. Maybe a drink would calm her nerves a bit. 
     She managed to break free from the bodies and get to the alcohol. Red cups thrown about on the counter. She found the clean stack and searched for liquor and mixers. Debating the large variety the house had. 
     “Looking for something specific?” A voice showed over the music
     She tore her gaze away from the alcohol and was met with a fit about her age. She had zero clue who he was in all honesty. 
     “No, just debating what sounds good right now,” She replied, still having to yell over the music
     “I’m Jisung,” the guy introduced himself, holding his hand out to her
     “I’m Y/n,” she shook his hand and ordered a small smile. Now she kind of knew one person here. 
     “I haven’t seen you around before.”
     “This is not really my scene,” Y/n laughed as she grabbed a bottle of tequila. “I usually just keep to myself.”
     “I feel it. This whole party was honestly my roommate's idea. I can’t escape if I wanted to,” Jisung laughed. “What’s your major?”
     “I’m an art major, focusing on photography,” Y/n told him
     “That’s cool! I’m a music major.”
     It felt nice having someone to talk to here. Y/n began wondering what she was missing out on the last couple of years. She and Jisung talked for a few more moments till Jisung got dragged off and promised to come back in a few minutes. Y/n just nodded and sipped her drink. She stood off to the side, out of other people’s way. Waiting for her new friend to come back. She eventually started wandering through the party. Getting stopped and made some small talk with her classmates, making her way back to the kitchen for another drink when she finished hers. A couple more times throughout the night she talked to Jisung again and met a couple of his friends— Felix and Chan. 
     She rarely was ever drunk. She had a drink here and there. Had one or two when she went out with family members for dinner or something. Maybe it was the fact it did help ease her anxiety about the whole situation a bit. She felt more outgoing in the moment. Especially when she saw someone she had a small crush on.
     Minho was popular— not that he wanted to be. He was very humble about his popularity. He was ninety percent sure it was because of his looks and maybe his skill as a dancer. All night— didn’t matter if he was talking with his friends or not— he’d been having drunk girls try and get at him. He was used to it but their level of intoxicity and their very outgoing way of trying to get him to bed was annoying him. He’d be happy if he could lock himself in his room for the night.
     But here he was, talking with Changbin as yet another girl was approaching both of them. He could barely hear her over the music anyway but he mostly tuned out what he could. Telling his friend he was going to get another drink and then walking off. Not giving the drunk girl a chance to follow him.
     Minho weaved his way through the crowd. Weaving between bodies since no one knew how to keep a path clear for others. Accidentally pumped a bit too hard into one girl as a guy took a step back into him.
     “Sorry,” Minho said to the girl, having wrapped an arm around her so she didn’t fall. “Are you okay?”
     “Yeah…” Y/n said, suddenly every bit of her introverted self coming out again.
     “You sure?” Minho asked
     “Yes. Sorry!” Y/n replied, face feeling hot as his arm fell from her side, “I’m—”
     She couldn’t do much to introduce herself when Minho was already walking off. She sighed and sipped her drink. Maybe a couple more drinks and she could try again. Maybe she should just save herself the embarrassment and go home. She could tell he wasn’t in the mood even if she had a few drinks in her system. 
     “Why the sad face?” Jisung’s voice came from next to her. Scaring her a bit 
     “Party is starting to be too much,” Y/n replied 
     “Hang here. I’ll grab you some water,” Jisung told her. 
     “Thanks…” Y/n said as he went off to the kitchen after grabbing her cup of alcohol from her. 
     Y/n stood in her spot, waiting for her new friend to come back. Jisung came back after a few minutes and handed her a bottle of water, opening the cap for her and handing it to her. 
     “Want to get some air too? I know it’s hot in here.”
     “Yes please,” Y/n said and sipped the cold water. 
     Jisung led her out to the front yard and sat with her on a couple of unoccupied chairs. The cold air felt good after being in a stuffy house for so long. “Better?”
     “Yeah. Thank you,” Y/n smiled
     “No problem. I know it can all be too much sometimes,” Jisung replied. “Do you want me to take you home?”
     “No, I don’t want to bother you more. I can get home by myself. I live on campus anyways.”
     “I’m not letting you walk back to campus this late!” Jisung protested, “Let me find one of my friends and let them know where I’m going.” 
     Before Y/n could say anything else, Jisung had already disappeared back into the house. She felt bad just getting up and leaving like she had originally planned. Instead, she patiently waited and sipped her water. Staying to get cold in the material of the costume. 
     Jisung came out of the house a few moments later. He helped her up and the two started walking down the street together. Y/n wrapped her arms around her to provide warmth from the autumn air. 
     “Are you cold?” Jisung asked 
     “I’ll be fine. It’s a short walk to the campus dormitory.”
     “I should have grabbed a jacket when I went inside.” 
     “It’s fine. You walking me back is more than enough.”
     The walk was mostly silent. The occasional talk about their classes and their day-to-day lives filled the night. 
     “Wait. You’ve been here for two years and haven’t made a single friend?” Jisung asked
     “I didn’t have time to socialize. I honestly wasn’t planning to go to the party anyways…”
     “Well, we’re friends now! Now you have one. Though I’m sure Felix considers you a friend. Even if you guys had one conversation tonight, he’ll still count it! And don’t you and Hyunjin in the art program together?”
     “Yeah. I don’t really talk to people. I just do my work and if I'm in a group protection I'm still pretty quiet. Though I’m sure I’ve photographed everyone on campus at some point or another.”
     “Ooh! You should show me your photos sometime! I want to see your work!” Jisung rambled
     It felt nice to have somewhat of a friend now. Jisung made sure to walk her up to her dorm room and they two exchanged numbers as well before he started his walk back home and Y/n went into her dorm. She took a shower and put on her pajamas before crawling into bed.
     Y/n carried on her day-to-day life after the Halloween party. Going to class, focusing on her assignments, and taking photos in the quad. Just now Jisung seemed to be popping up randomly.
     “What are you taking photos of?” Jisung asked, sneaking up behind her
     “Jesus!” Y/n half-yelled
     “Sorry! Didn’t mean to scare you,” He apologized
     “It’s fine. Just not used to it.”
     “You didn’t answer my question.”
     “Just taking photos. I like capturing the campus scenery.” Y/n shrugged
     “Can I see?”
     “Sure…” Y/n hadn’t shown anyone except her teachers her photos before.
     Y/n opened her camera’s library and turned the screen to him. Jisung took the camera from her hands and scrolled through the photos.
     “I’m not a professional and barely know the first thing about pro photography but these are great!” Jisung complimented
     “Thanks,” Y/n smiled, feeling proud of her work at that moment
     “Oh! You have some of the dance crew!”
     “Yeah. I joined the school paper on a whim this year and they have me photographing sports…”
     “That’s why Felix said he recognized you at the party. Oh, there he is!”
     Jisung spent the next few moments trying to find all the photos she had taken of his friend in her camera. “You even got good photos of Minho.”
     “You know Minho?”
     “Yeah. We share a room at the house.”
     Y/n’s eyes went wide for a moment as she processed the information. She had somehow befriended one of her crush’s friends, let alone his roommate. Jisung seemed oblivious to her reaction. He handed her camera back to her with a smile. “You should come to my music group’s next performance and take photos of us! I’m sure Chan and Changbin would love it too!” 
      “Yeah. Just let me know when,” Y/n smiled
      “I’ll text you! I’ve got to run to class before I’m late!”
      Jisung took off before she could do anything. She just agreed to whatever he said, not fully processing it. She shook her head and looked at the time. She was done with her classes for the day but wasn’t quite ready to go back to her dorm. She sighed and went to the library to study for some of her classes. 
     She sat quietly at one of the library tables. Textbooks open as she scanned through and wrote down the important information she needed for her class. Her headphones were in as she listened to her music. The background noise helping keep her focused on her work. 
     Minho was also stuck in the library. Working on some homework. Anything was better than doing said work at home with seven other people to interrupt his peace. The campus library had been his safe space since he started and decided to get a house with his seven friends. Now he was in his last year of college and could get away from all this soon.
     He wasn’t getting away from Jisung though. Even in the quiet library, he wasn’t safe from his best friend.
     “There you are,” Jisung quietly said and took a seat next to his friend.
     “I need a better hiding spot,” Minho sarcastically told his friend
     “You’re in a better mood.”
     “I’m not getting hounded today.”
     “Explains a lot.” Jisung shrugged and took out his homework
     The two fell into silence until Jisung became a bit bored and poked his friend. It was soon stopped by a glare and a quick apology. The younger one laid his head on the table and then looked around the library. “Do you know Y/n?” Jisung suddenly asked
     “Who?” Minho asked
     “She’s in the school paper. She’s photographed the dance team. Figured you might have met her, Felix has.”
     “Are you comparing me to Felix?” Minho asked
     “No, but I was curious. She doesn’t have many friends. I invited her to the next 3RACHA performance.”
     “You’re trying to get her more friends, aren’t you?”
     “I’ve been the kid with no friends before so I kind of feel bad.”
     “I remember when you were trying to fight everyone in the house for the smallest things.”
     “I’m a changed man.”
     “Because of Chan.”
     Jisung didn’t disagree with him as Minho finished up his homework. Jisung had given up on finishing his and took out his phone. Replying to some text messages he had. Y/n was one of the people he had texted.
Jisung: 3Racha has a performance this weekend! It’s at Miroh!
     Y/n looked at the text message on her screen. She figured out what Jisung was attempting to do since the Halloween party and claimed they were friends. She was grateful he was trying to break her out of her shell and she couldn’t exactly come up with an excuse either. She had also processed that he had asked her to photograph them at their performance earlier in the day. And she agreed to it.
Y/n: Where’s that at? :’( Jisung: You haven’t been to Miroh before?? Y/n: No. I don’t have friends and I’m terrified of going places by myself Jisung: How about I pick you up then? You can ride with me and my friends then hang out with them while I’m up on stage Y/n: Are you sure? I don’t want to intrude… Jisung: Yeah! The guys won’t mind.             Oh! Since you’re in the library, come over and meet Minho! He’ll be there too so you won’t just have Felix when me, chan and changbin are on stage Y/n: How do you know I’m in the library?? Jisung: I came in to annoy Minho and try and do homework and saw you when I walked in. You had your headphones on so I didn’t say anything Y/n: oh
     Y/n had finished her work and was just packing up when she saw the message from Jisung. She finished packing her things up when she looked around for Jisung. Seeing him standing at a table with Minho. After the party and her run-in with the dancer, she wasn’t hopeful it would go well. She could barely even think of just getting up and leaving when the music major spotted her and made his way over to her. His friend following not far behind
     “Did you just finish?” Jisung asked her
     “Yeah. Did you even work or just talk to people?”
     “Bit of both,” Jisung shrugged as the dancer walked up behind him, “This is Minho. Min, this is Y/n.”
     “Hi,” Y/n timidly said
     “Hey,” Minho greeted back
     Minho recognized her from the Halloween party. He had seen her in the dance studio with a camera a couple of times. He just never knew her name.
     The trio walked out of the library together and Y/n said goodbye to the two and made her way back to her dorm hall. The two boys went off to head back to their home. Jisung filled in Minho that they were picking up Y/n and giving her a ride to Miroh over the weekend. The older man nodded in agreement.
     When the day of the performance came Y/n offered to meet Jisung at his house so it was one less stop for the group. At first, Jisung protested on her walking down but she told him she was already on her way down. She was a bit nervous about the whole outing so the walk helped clear her head a bit. By the time she got to the house the group was outside already, Jisung introduced her to everyone she didn’t know yet before the group went back to their previous discussion of the car assignments, and how they were getting nine people there.
     “Take three cars, three people in each car,” Chan said which the guys all seemed to agree with
     It was decided Chan, Minho, and Hyunjin would drive/be DDs for the group. Seungmin and Changbin rode with Chan. Jeongin and Felix took Hyunjin’s car while Han and Y/n were with Minho. Y/n took the backseat of the car while Minho and Jisung were in the front. The bar was about a twenty-minute drive from the house. Y/n stayed pretty quiet in the back of the car while music played. The two friends in the front talked a little and tried including Y/n. She appreciated it and it helped her nerves a little till they finally got to the bar. 
     The group managed to find parking spots pretty close together and headed into the bar. The rap group still had some time before they had to perform. A few of the guys took orders and grabbed some drinks from the bar while the others found a couple of tables and pushed them together. Minho had pulled a seat out for Y/n and motioned for her to sit. Hesitantly she sat down with the rest of the group. 
     The performers themselves talked about their performance as the rest of the group came back with drinks. Making sure everyone got the right drink. Everyone settled in with their drinks and waited for the performance to start. 
     Y/n felt out of place amongst the friends, even when they did include her in the conversation. Her life just seemed boring compared to the others. They all had some interesting lives or things that were big going on with their majors. 3Racha was about to perform, the dance members— Minho, Felix, and Hyunjin (whom she learned only minored in the art program and was a dance major)— had some competitions for the school and outside of the school coming up. Seungmin— a law major— had won another debate and Jeongin— an education major— was going to be working at a daycare over the summer. Y/n felt like she had nothing going on. Just some photos no one would probably look at.
     As soon as the boys were called to the stage, Y/n grabbed her camera from her bag and made sure all her settings were good. “Are you going up to the stage?” Minho asked next to her
     “Yeah. If it’s not too crowded,” Y/n said
     “Do you want me to go with you?” Minho questioned
     “Oh! We should all go up!” Felix suggested
     “They can feel our support from back here,” Seungmin interjected
     “Then stay here,” Hyunjin said
     Jeongin and Seungmin stayed at the tables while she, Felix, Minho, and Hyunjin went up to the stage. Felix and Hyunjin mainly went to be the hype men for their friends while Minho stayed close to Y/n so no one got in the way of the photos. Y/n felt more anxious with Minho standing close by. She had barely talked to him since his demeanor at the Halloween party. 
     She did her best not to let it get to her as she got her photos. She didn’t know what to expect from the music group. She had heard the name 3Racha before around campus but seeing them perform was a different scenario. She did enjoy the music and got some pretty good shots from the performance. She only saw how good they were when she sat back at the table after the show.
     The group congratulated them on the show. Jisung asked to see the photos as soon as she sat down with them. Y/n let him go through them and show them around the table. She felt flustered when everyone gave her props for her work, even though it wasn’t edited yet.
     The group stayed for a few more hours at the bar, enjoying the other performances and some drinks. They all ended up calling it a night. Minho and Jisung took Y/n back to the campus dorms before going back to their home
     “What do you think of Y/n?” Jisung asked his roommate on the drive back
     “I don’t think she likes me very much,” Minho answered
     “You probably scare her.”
     “You know, one day you might not wake up.”
     Minho knew she was shy from what Jisung had told him and what he had observed. He knew he could be a little intimidating at times but he felt bad he had given her that impression.
      Jisung on the other hand was curious. Pulling his phone from his pocket and texting his new friend.
Jisung: Do you like Minho? Y/n: What?? Jisung: Like as a friend. He thinks you’re scared of him Y/n: oh        Yeah? Idk? Jisung: ?? Y/n: He bumped into me at the Halloween party before you got me water. He seemed kind of annoyed when I went to introduce myself so I didn’t think he liked me very much…         Which I don’t expect him to. Ik he’s popular and there are more interesting people than me Jisung: oh, he was annoyed the whole party. I promise it wasn’t bc of you. If anything it was all the drunk girls trying to sleep with him Y/n: idk :(        I had a few drinks too… maybe he just saw another drunk girl then… Jisung: you were not THAT drunk. You could still walk and form words lol Y/n: I still think he doesn’t like me very much Jisung: and he thinks you don’t like him very much Y/n: I don’t! He just makes me a bit nervous Jisung: oh, you like like min ;) Y/n: so does every girl on campus :( I’m not special
     Jisung knew something would come about. If someone didn’t like Minho, he didn’t care much. So Jisung knew his friends' thoughts and feelings the moment he said that Y/n didn’t seem to like him very much. He didn’t that night plotting. 
      No matter how much plotting he did, he knew his friends were idiots. He’d do everything but lock them in a room together. He told the rest of the house about Y/n’s lack of friends and what he suspected was anxiety about making them but he wasn’t sure. 
     The group always offered to include her in things and sometimes she did accept the offers. Over time she started to feel like more of a friend to them and less of an intrusion. She still kept quiet about ninety percent of the time though. 
     She’d given 3Racha the photos she had taken, fully edited, and let them do what they wanted with them. Jisung told her a lot of people on campus loved the photos when they put them on their social media which gave her somewhat of an ego for a few moments. 
     Minho didn’t know exactly what Jisung was plotting but he did know his friend had been acting differently since the day after their performance. He could corner him and ask but he couldn’t complain too much now. 
     He’d refuse to admit it to anyone— except maybe Chan — but he was glad Jisung was bringing Y/n around more. He thought she was cute when his younger friend had officially introduced them in the library. He had barely spared her much of a glance at the party. Maybe if he did she wouldn’t be too scared of him. But now, after a few months, that dislike or whatever was disappearing. 
     He’d catch her around campus and go out of his way to say hi and ask her about her day. Minho appreciated that she didn’t try and flirt with him like the rest of the girls on campus. He could be himself. 
     Currently, he was in the school's quad with her. He spotted her looking at her camera and chose to keep her company. 
     “What are you taking photos of?” He asked as he walked up and took a seat next to her on the bench
     Y/n offered him a smile, “Whatever interests me today.”
     “So the usual?” he joked
     “Pretty much.” Y/n agreed
     Minho smiled as she got up and stepped a few feet away, spotting something to photograph. Minho took out his phone after a few moments and responded to a few messages he had disregarded earlier. Y/n was taking photos of some of the flowers that were planted. She turned around once she snapped a few and looked at Minho.
     He seemed ignorant to her turning around and the sun was hitting all his angles perfectly. She focused her lens on him and snapped a couple of photos. Slowly Minho looked up at her, hearing the camera shutter as she took the photos.
     “When did I become your model?” Minho asked as she pulled away from the viewfinder
     “You’ve been my model before,” Y/n defended
     “I don’t think I’m dancing right now,” Minho told her
     “No, but it was a good photo opportunity.”
     “Let me see.”
     Y/n walked back to him and handed him the camera. Minho took the camera and looked through the photos she had taken of him before getting out of the photos and going back to the camera. He sat up, held up the viewfinder, and snapped a photo before Y/n realized what he was doing. Once she processed it while he snapped a few more, she moved to grab the camera from him.
     “Hey!” Y/n said grabbing her camera.
     Minho chuckled as she took her seat back next to him. “Let me see my work,” he said between laughs
     “No,” Y/n said as she went to look over at the photos. Minho just looked over her shoulder before she could delete the photos.
     “I did a good job,” Minho said. “You look good too. Very photographic.”
     “Don’t lie,” Y/n grumbled as she deleted the photos and tried to hide her flushed face from him
      “I’m not lying,” Minho told her. “You look good. In and out of the photos.”
      Y/n hesitated to delete the last photo. Minho did take a good photo of her. She couldn’t deny that.
      “What are you doing later?” Minho asked, watching her hesitate, and stopped looking over her shoulder.
      “Probably nothing. Maybe homework,” Y/n answered and shut her camera off. Packing it up in her camera bag
      “Do you want to get takeout and come over instead? I can kick Ji out.”
      Y/n turned to look at him. Ninety-nine percent sure she was hallucinating what he just said. “Huh?” she asked
      “Do you want to come over after you’re last class? Order food or I can cook,” Minho repeated
     “I— just us?”
     “I mean, I’m sure someone else will be at the house but ideally, yeah. Just us.”
     “Like, like a date?” Y/n asked, scared but hopeful at the same time
     “Yeah.”
     “You’re asking me on a date?”
     “Why wouldn’t I?”
     “Because you’re out of my league?”
     “You don’t give yourself enough credit,” Minho smirked, “Come over for dinner. I’ll kick the others out of the house.”
     “O-okay,” Y/n agreed
     “When’s your last class?”
     “I don’t have any more classes. I have all morning classes.”
     “Come on. We can go shopping for ingredients.” Minho stood and adjusted the bag on his shoulder
     “I don’t want to make you cook,” Y/n closed up her bag and stood with him, gathering the rest of her things.
     “I like cooking. Come on,” Minho said
     Y/n walked with him to the parking lot. Minho opened the door for her before getting in his side of the car. The two drove down to the supermarket while Minho questioned her on what she wanted to eat. 
     She was wondering why Lee Minho would ask her out. Or offer to cook for her. Her brain seemed to just go into autopilot for responses. In the store, she stayed close to the dancer. She was trying to stay out of other people’s way and helping with grabbing ingredients. Even if he protested she didn’t need to. It was the least she could do. 
     When they checked out, Y/n felt more at ease as they drove back to the house. Minho had made sure to text his friends to either not corner them or not come home. They even seemed a bit shocked at this development but ultimately Chan offered to take the other six out for dinner which the younger ones graciously accepted. 
     “Do you want any help?” Y/n asked after they— mostly Minho— carried in their shopping bags from the car and set them on the counter. 
     “No. I got it covered,” Minho said and took his bag to his room. Y/n quietly sat at the bar and took out the homework she had planned to do. 
     Minho came back after a few moments to find her doing the work he took her away from. He smiled to himself as he got to work. Washing his hands and starting to cook. He would occasionally look over at her to check on her and ask her how her work was going. 
     Y/n was honestly barely focusing on her work— she’d done most of it earlier anyway. She was watching Minho cook. He seemed a natural in the kitchen. Moved with ease, just like he was dancing.
     “How come you didn’t go to culinary school?” Y/n asked
     “Dance is what I’m passionate about. Cooking is just something I like doing for my friends. Plus I’m good at it.”
     “How good?” Y/n asked
     “You’ll see,” Minho smiled back at her, “Finish your homework. You won’t graduate if you don’t.”
     “I’ll be fine,” Y/n told him
     “Homework.”
     Y/n just rolled her eyes and turned back to her homework while he cooked. Both taking moments to watch the other one work. Y/n finished up her last boy off work and put away her things. Patiently waiting for Minho to finish, not knowing what to do now. 
     She just admired him working. He moved around the kitchen with ease, even when he plated the food. Y/n smiled as he set the food in front of her and thanked him. Minho smiled and sat down next to her at the bar. Y/n took a bite of the food and looked at him. “You should be a chef!” Y/n exclaimed
     Minho just smiled as he started eating. Y/n enjoyed probably the best meal she had had since she left home for college. She felt more relaxed than ever around Minho. She had forgotten for a moment that this was technically a date. It just felt natural to hang out with him now. Even if he didn’t give her the best impression when they had first met. He was trying now even if he didn’t know at first.
     Y/n did find it weird— being the best word she could use to describe the feeling— when one of the more popular guys that everyone seemed to like was with her during their free time. They weren’t official but they were together often. Whether it was by themselves or with the rest of their friends. The rest of Minho’s housemates all knew before they did things would be official eventually.
     “Did I scare you when we first met?” Minho asked her as they were lying in her dorm bed, her roommate gone for the weekend.
     “What do you mean?” Y/n asked
     “You just seemed scared of me when Ji introduced us,” Minho explained
     “You didn’t scare me,” Y/n said, cuddling into him. Winter was setting in now and he had become her personal heater. “Just when you bumped into me at the Halloween party you seemed annoyed when I tried talking to you…”
     “That was you?” Minho asked
     “Yeah…” 
     “I was annoyed that night but not because of you,” Minho told her, wrapping his arms around her tighter. 
     “I don’t blame you. I’m pretty boring…”
     “No, you’re not.”
     “I’m an art major Min. It’s not really a useful career. Sometimes I wonder why you talk to me or even ask me on dates to begin with.”
     “Because I like being around you. You’re easy to be around and I like your creativity.”
     “You don’t want someone more in your league? Prettier? Cooler?”
     “You’re prettier and cooler than you give yourself credit for,” Minho told her and he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “I’d be happy to call you my girlfriend.”
     “Girlfriend?!” Y/n’s head shot up and looked at him
     “Yeah. I want you to be my girlfriend.” Minho chuckled
     Y/n’s face flushed. She had guessed it would eventually get to here but now that the words had left his lips she was at a loss for words.
     “Cat got your tongue?”
     Y/n nodded her head as Minho laughed. Resting his head on her forehead, “Is that a yes to being my girlfriend?”
     “Yes,” Y/n quietly said.
     Minho smiled and placed a peck on her lips. The kiss was too fast for Y/n. She watched her boyfriend’s reaction to him pulling away then pressed another kiss to her lips. Giving her time to return the affection.
     Y/n moved her lips with his before he pulled away again. “You’re a good kisser kitten.”
     “Kitten?”
     “Yeah. My kitten.” 
     Minho wrapped his arms tightly around her and held her close to his chest. That’s how they stayed for the weekend. Cuddled up together and only pulled away to use the bathroom or get food. Y/n felt like she was on cloud nine with Minho. He walked her to her classes when he had the time and made her any food she asked for. Even when he joked and appeared he didn’t want to. He was always doing things for her. And Y/n never felt happier in the last month of them being together. 
     “Want to spend the night this weekend ?” Minho asked his girlfriend after walking her to her last class, “Ji’s going to his parent’s house for the weekend so I don’t have to kick him out.”
     “The others won’t mind?” Y/n asked 
     “No. As long as you don’t mind the guys being obnoxiously loud while we’re locked in my room avoiding them,” Minho smiled
     “Okay,” Y/n smiled back 
     “I’ll see you after class,” Minho told her and picked her lips. 
     Y/n watched her boyfriend walk down the hallway to his class and entered her own. Now, a little too excited for her class to end. She was ready to bolt out of her class as they were dismissed. She tried giving her boyfriend time to get back to her classroom but she still managed to get out before him. 
     She waited outside her class for him. Leaning against the wall till he snuck up to her and wrapped his kissed her forehead. Y/n looked at her boyfriend, “Hi.”
     “Hey. How was class?” He asked as he took her hand. Heading to her dorm so she could grab a few things before heading down to the house. 
     Minho sat in her desk chair while she packed a small bag, looking at her photos on her wall. A thought crossed his mind as he picked up her smaller digital camera. 
     “What are you doing?” Y/n asked 
     Minho smiled at her and took a quick photo of her packing her bag. Y/n looked over at him as she heard the shutter click. “Min.”
     “I didn’t do it,” Minho told her and took another photo of her.
     “I’m never going to win with you, am I?”
     “No.”
     Y/n shook her head and finished packing her bag. Having to drag her boyfriend from her dorm and to the car. Minho put her things in the backseat and then drove them to his home. Some of the guys were home when they arrived. Y/n said hi to them as Minho pulled her up the stairs to his room. Y/n set her bag down at the foot of his bed as the dancer sat on his bed, pulling her to him and laying back with her.
     “Hungry at all?” Minho asked
     “No. My boyfriend keeps me nice and full,” Y/n told him as she wrapped her arms around him. Minho smiled and turned on the TV he and Jisung had in their room. Turning on a show the two had talked about watching, casually laying in the bed till Jisung came in to grab something.
     “Oh good, you guys aren’t doing anything weird,” Jisung teased as he opened the door
     Y/n hid her face in her boyfriend’s chest as Minho glared at his roommate. Y/n focused on the TV as Jisung packed a bag and then said goodbye to the couple, shutting the door behind him.
     “Embarrassed kitten?” Minho asked
     “A little. What if Ji did walk in while we were doing something? Not that we have done anything but…”
     “If we were I would have locked the door. I wouldn’t put you in that position. Have you thought about going further?” Minho explained
     “Yeah…”
     Minho sat up with her, in a better position to have a more serious conversation. Y/n felt shy about the topic of sex. She didn’t have much experience and she only guessed Minho had more than her. “Look at me, babe?” Minho asked
     Y/n hesitantly made eye contact with him for the duration of their conversation. The couple spent maybe an hour talking about their history— she was right about Minho having more experience than her— and protection. Minho made sure Y/n felt completely comfortable as they talked about the next steps in their relationship. Only having gone as far as a few heated make-out sessions. Minho never rushed her with anything which just made her fall for him more.
     Maybe that comfort was how the bedroom door ended up locked and Minho was gripping her ass over her jeans while she was sitting on his lap, both their tongues fighting for dominance. Both of them moaned as Y/n gripped the hair at the nape of his neck. Minho used his grip on her backside to pull her closer to him, almost tipping them back on the bed. The dancer chuckled when she made a surprised noise before pulling away and attaching his lips to her neck.
     “Min,” Y/n breathed out, fingers dragging up into his hair more.
     “Look so good on my lap kitten,” Minho said as his lips roamed all over her neck, biting a couple of patches of skin lightly
     Y/n bucked her hips against him when he did nibble on her skin. The slight pinch shot straight to her core. The roll of her hold made the male below her groan and she could feel something poking her from below. 
     Seconds later Minho had her on her back and kissed down her body. His hands moved to take hold of the low waistband of her jeans. “Can I?” Minho asked
     “Please,” Y/n said, lifting her hips for him
     Minho smiled and unbuttoned her pants, pulling the fabric down and tossing it to the side. Y/n pressed her thighs together, suddenly a little embarrassed being half-naked in front of him. Minho noticed and placed a kiss on each of her thighs and her hips, gently pulling her legs apart before settling between them. Y/n watched as he put her legs over his shoulders and pressed a few kisses to her clothed core. Y/n bit her bottom lip as she watched her boyfriend kiss and lick her through the fabric before he pulled away and pulled the fabric off her legs, tossing them to the floor with her bottoms.
     Minho readjusted them, grabbing her hands and intertwining their fingers. “Anyone ever take care of you, kitten?”
     “No…” Y/n admitted as he pressed a kiss to her clit
     Minho hummed then licked a stripe from her entrance to her clit, wrapping his lips around the bud. Y/n moaned as he sucked on the little bud. She gripped his hands as he switched between sucking on her clit and licking the bud with his tongue. Y/n gasped when she felt his tongue dip into her, back arching off his mattress as he moved the muscle in and out of her. 
     His hands left her and grabbed the tops of her thighs. Holding her legs over his shoulders as he ate her out. Y/n grabbed a handful of his hair with one hand, making him moan into her. Y/n had to cover her mouth so none of the others would hear her. It got harder to hide them as the knot in her stomach kept tightening and tightening until it snapped. 
     The photographer gasped as her hips rocked against his face. Minho held her against him as he helped her through the high. Not stopping till he had her cleaned up and her grip on his hair loosened. He pulled away, put her legs back on the bed, and sat up on his knees. Wrong off any excess liquid with the back of his hand. 
     Y/n caught her breath again as Minho threw off his t-shirt letting it join her bottoms on the ground. Y/n took in the sight up his upper torso, just by his arms she knew her boyfriend was toned but seeing his chest and abs, whew.
     “What you staring at kitten?” Minho teased as he crawled over her, caging her in with his arms.
     “My hot boyfriend,” Y/n responded as she ran her fingers down his front and hooked them around his belt.
     “Not so shy anymore,” Minho smiled as he leaned down to kiss her neck again.
     Y/n hummed as she undid his belt, pulling it from its loops and then unbuttoning his jeans. Meanwhile, Minho used one hand to push her shirt up. The two worked as best they could undressing each other. Once they finally got the rest of their clothes off and onto the floor, Y/n wrapped her hand around his cock. Minho moaned as she slowly stroked him, one hand of his having taken hold of her breasts. Groping the flesh as his lips worked their way down to the other.
     Minho wasn’t trying to hide his moans like Y/n was. He’d heard all his friends before and he was sure they had heard him before so none of it mattered to him. But knowing his girlfriend, he tried not to be too loud and embarrass her. Not that any of the guys would tease them if they knew what was good for them.
    His hand that was on her boob moved down and his thumb ran over her sensitive clit. His head came up from her chest just in time to see her tilt her head back in pleasure. Minho leaned into her neck and kissed the skin, making sure to leave his mark on her. Y/n moaned as he sucked on her skin while he circled her clit. Their stroke paces fell in sync, one would pick up their speed and then the other would follow suit. 
     Y/n managed to pull his lips from her neck up to her mouth. Kissing him to drown out her moans as her hips rocked against his hand. Minho matched her strokes with his hips. Thrusting into her hand as his orgasm approached. Her grip tightened as her second high approached her, taking over her body seconds later. Minho thrusted into her hand as he worked her through her high. His cum shot onto her lower stomach as she came down from her second high.
     “Sorry,” Mino apologized as he came down from his orgasm
     “‘S okay,” Y/n told him. “It was hot.”
     Minho hummed as he sat up, looking down at her. “You look good with my cum on you.”
     “Should take a picture,” Y/n said
     “Want me to?” Minho questioned
     “Camera’s in my bag.”
     Minho moved and grabbed her bag from the foot of his bed, quickly finding her camera and getting back in his position. Her legs rested over his thighs as he pointed the camera lens down at her stomach. Catching her wet cunt as well and his dick laying between her legs. Y/n watched the flash go off before he pulled the camera away from his face. Minho leaned down and pecked her lips.
     “Want to keep going, kitten?” Minho asked 
     “Yes,” Y/n answered. “Can I… ride you?” She asked as he leaned over to his bedside table and grabbed a condom. 
     “My kitty wants to ride me?” He teased as he closed the drawer.
     “Please…”
     Minho didn’t say anything before flipping their position. He placed her on his lower stomach and handed her the condom. Y/n took the foil from his hand and sat up on her knees. She scooted back a bit as she opened the wrapper and took out the rubber. Y/n jerked her boyfriend’s dick again until he was erect again, then slid on the rubber. 
     Minho held her hips as she positioned herself above him. She kept his cock steady till the tip was inside her. Moaning as she placed her hands on his waist while she sank onto him. The dancer helped her ease down onto him. He gave her a second once he was fully inside her, keeping a hold on her hips. Y/n sat up straight and held her boyfriend’s wrists and looked down at him. She noticed the light layer of sweat that was covering his body. She found her camera on the bed and held it up to her face. 
      She snapped a photo of her boyfriend. Minho smiled before taking the camera from her hands. Y/n clenched around her boyfriend as he pointed the camera at her. Minho snapped a photo as she started rolling her hips back and forth. Her hands pressed to his chest to stabilize herself. 
      Minho took a couple of photos of her and then put the camera to the side again. The dancer planted his feet on the bed and held her hips, slowly starting to bounce her on him. Y/n used her position to lift herself so her boyfriend wasn’t doing all the work. 
     Minho’s hands moved back and gripped her ass as she rode him. Tilting his head back in pleasure as her walls pulsed around him. Y/n took the chance to lay on his chest and suck her own marks onto his skin. Minho happily let her do so as he lifted his hips and started thrusting into her. 
      Y/n moaned against his skin as he thrusted into her. Accidently biting down a little harder on his neck when his tip found the spongy spot inside her and hit it dead on. 
     “Fuck,” Minho moaned, wrapping his arms around her and holding her down on his chest
     “Sorry,” Y/n mumbled as she kissed the spot
     “Don’t. Felt good,” Minho told her as his pace picked up
      Y/n moaned as he aimed for the spot again. Hiding away in her boyfriend's neck as her walls clenched around him. She tried rolling her hips to keep up with his pace but she was far slower than him, though she still tried. 
      The knot was tightening far too quickly in her stomach this time. Each thrust felt like the next would make her cum again. She did her best to hold out but she couldn’t. Her walls spasmed around Minho’s cock. The dance held onto her as her body shook on top of him. Fucking her through the high before his took over. Burying himself into her and letting his cum fill up the rubber. 
     “Fuck,” both groaned as they caught their breaths 
      Y/n sat up and looked at her boyfriend's neck. Not realizing how many marks she had left on him — she could only imagine what hers looked like. She ran her thumb over the front of his neck before grabbing her camera again and taking a photo.
      Minho chuckled at her before helping her off his cock and laying her on the bed. Y/n smiled as she watched him toss the condom then put on his boxers and leave the room. She looked over three photos they had taken before he came back with a washcloth and cleaned her up. 
     “Everyone’s in their rooms, wanna go take a shower?” Minho asked
     “Yes please,” Y/n agreed.
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☾ ━━━━━━ M.LIST    TIP JAR
☾ ━━━ please support writers by reblogging and/or leaving feedback  
© 2024 MINNIESMUTT. DO NOT COPY, REPUBLISH OR TRANSLATE MY WORK ANYWHERE
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autball · 4 months
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Part 1 of a 5 part series about the ways harmful practices are being made to sound more appealing through the co-opting of language and how to spot the differences between helpful and harmful approaches.
The language of the Neurodiversity Paradigm is soooo hot right now. Everyone from ABA centers to social media creators are adopting it to sound like they’re safer and more knowledgeable than they are.
But you can’t just pop some neuro-word in place of “autism” and stop picking on a couple of Autistic traits and call yourself “Neuro-affirming.” That’s the low-hanging fruit of #neurodiversitylite.
REAL Neuro-affirming practice comes from a complete shift in mindset, unlearning all the harmful things you once thought were true, and learning about all the things you never even knew you didn’t know. It’s also an ongoing process, not just something you can learn from reading an article or taking a single training.
ABA practitioners are probably the worst offenders right now, mainly because they know they need to rebrand as more and more people learn about what ABA really does to people, but also because their practices in particular are THE furthest away from being Neuro-affirming compared to any other discipline.
They are not the only ones, though, so be wary of #neurodiversitylite in ANY resource aimed at autistic people that appears to be saying all the right things, including: OT, speech, play/talk therapy, early intervention, education, your favorite parenting expert or social media personality who just discovered the world of Neurodiversity, etc.
Look beyond someone’s use of the “right” words or symbols. Do they talk about teaching people to fit into the normative world, or how to more safely and authentically navigate a world not made for them? Do they talk about making the person easier to deal with, or making life easier for the person? Do they concentrate on external behaviors, or are they more concerned with internal experiences? Does most of what they know come from people who studied autistic people from the outside looking in, or from actual autistic people who can speak from lived experience? And are they even using the words right??
The good news is that there are SO MANY resources out there BY autistic and otherwise Neurodivergent people for anyone who wants to learn how to make their practice *actually* more Neuro-affirming. SO MANY!! Three such resources are featured in the second panel from Autism Level UP, Neurowild, and Kieran Rose-The Autistic Advocate. (Big thanks to them for letting me include their work in the cartoon!)
EXPLANATION OF WHAT’S WRONG IN THE “FAKE” PANEL:
- The phrase “individuals with neurodiversity” misuses the word “neurodiversity” and utilizes person first language. The Neuro-affirming phrase would be “neurodivergent people,” or “autistic people” if they specifically meant autistic people.
- Getting rid of puzzle piece stuff is merely a surface level first step, not an end point.
- Not forcing eye contact and allowing hand-flapping are also only surface level first steps. The fact that they still target other stims means they do not understand the importance or functions of stimming, making them incapable of being Neuro-affirming.
- Social skills training aimed at ND people usually centers NT social skills as the “right way” and frames ND social skills as the “wrong way,” making them shame inducing and not at all affirming.
- “Tolerating distress” most often means “suppressing distress.” Neuro-affirming practice would concentrate on identifying and avoiding triggers, helping the person stay regulated, and teaching the person how to accommodate and advocate for their needs so that they are not distressed in the first place.
- “Sensory desensitization” is not a thing that can be done to someone without harm. It is usually done with exposure therapy, which should not be done TO someone who cannot consent. It is also inappropriate for sensory issues, which tells us they don’t understand sensory processing differences at all.
- The posters: Whole Body Listening is based on neuronormative expectations; “They say I’m neurodiverse” is incorrect usage of the word “neurodiverse” (it should be “neurodivergent”), and “but I say I’m perfect” insinuates that being “neurodiverse” is a bad thing, while the use of the rainbow infinity symbol with such a non-affirming message adds to the dissonance; the ABC’s of Behavior is an indicator that ABA/behaviorism will be used, which is the opposite of Neuro-affirming practice.
EXPLANATION OF WHAT’S RIGHT IN THE “REAL” PANEL:
- The person accurately explains what Neuro-affirming practice looks like, without needing to use (or misuse) any Neurodiversity “buzzwords.”
- Bumper, A Whole Body Learner, is a resource created by Autism Level UP that encourages people to discover what it looks like for them to be ready to learn, acknowledging that there is no one right way to appear attentive.
- The poster by Neurowild indicates that they value difference and neurodiversity and that they know there is no one right way of being.
- They use the Advoc8 Framework, a resource created by Kieran Rose, The Autistic Advocate. Using this framework means they want to help the people they work with achieve Agency, Autonomy, (Self) Acceptance, and Authenticity.
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flowerparrish · 4 months
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🎲 Some combination of Echo/Fives/Fox for the kiss roulette >:D
23. A Kiss Induced by Alcohol/Other Substances:
Fox's head is spinning, but because he's less than one drink down--whichever one Cody handed over when Fox first turned up at 79s that he's been savoring, because it's not like Fox has credits to buy himself a second one, much less buy a round for the handful of brothers around him--because of that, he's pretty sure it's less whatever's in the drink and more some winning combination of the migraine that never seems to go away and the stim-crash that's been looming for too many cycles hitting like him a rogue speeder.
Ugh.
He feels something warm on his cheek and realizes he's slumped sideways onto whichever brother is beside him; if Fox was given a name, he barely processed it, and it's long gone from his memory now.
Someone says something, but Fox just closes his eyes and gives up, pressing closer to the brother who hasn't yet shoved him away. It's too loud, but they're warm and solid enough to nearly ground him.
An arm drops around his shoulders, and another hand drops into his hair---someone else's, he thinks, but he's not really sure. Fingers card through his curls, tugging just enough to make sparks shoot pleasantly down his spine, and Fox lets himself melt.
Eventually, he's poked-prodded-jostled to his feet, and two familiar bodies guide him out of 79s. In the relative quiet of the street outside, Fox feels some of his tension ease. "Fuck," he says. "I could kiss you."
There's a laugh from his left and a soft huff that might be amusement to his right. "Well we were just gonna dump you in one of our bunks to sleep, sir, but I'm sure we could be persuaded."
Fox knows it's a joke, but his head is spinning with some combination of exhaustion-pain-relief and these brothers may not be ones he knows, but they're familiar and safe in all the ways that matter, so he allows himself a lapse in judgment long enough to turn and press a kiss to the mouth of the one on the left, then the one on the right, smirking at the surprise on both clones' faces. "Lead the way."
--
I'm not sold on this and I wrote it while paying half attention to my Monster of the Week game, but!! Them!! My ot3. Set pre angsty canon events. The one Fox accidentally half falls asleep on first is Echo; later, Fives is the one on the left, Echo is the one on the right.
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pep-the-artemis · 5 months
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Is CYN Autistic and is She Good Representation?
Murder Drones ⟨00⟩ is an indie show about robots; created by Glitch Productions ⟨01⟩; directed by Liam Vickers ⟨02⟩: all episodes are free to watch on YouTube and I do recommend watching. The show follows a robot girl named Uzi and her best friend N; CYN (the subject of this post) is N’s adoptive younger sister. Many people in the Murder Drones fandom (including myself) have identified her as being autistic but is this the case and is she a good representation? 
In this post I will try to go over all the evidence we have which suggests she is/isn’t autistic and discuss what it means to be a good representation. I have split this post into three parts,
Is CYN Autistic (Minor Spoiler warning)
Is CYN Autistic (Major Spoiler warning)
What is Good Representation and does CYN qualify?
If you enjoy reading this, consider reblogging and checking out my other post where I go into the science behind "if N is colour blind?⟨3⟩”. I must forewarn, I am not a medical doctor nor am I qualified in any adjacent fields relating to disabilities, I am just an autistic person who enjoys film theory.
All references used are linked too and also supplied at the bottom.
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[image transcript; a picture of the character CYN from Murder Drones Episode 5 sitting behind a bar counter holding a ceramic teacup]
The first point I want to make is to address the possible concerns over CYN being a Worker Drone (the name given to one type of robot in Murder Drones) as, in media, autistic people are often negatively represented through machines. This is not the case here, in the show most characters are robots and behave neurotypically; the behaviours and mannerisms of CYN will expressly be discussed in comparison to the rest of the cast. This will also be discussed more in greater detail later in the post.
Part 1 - Evidence : Minor Spoiler Warning
Posture
The manner in which CYN stands gives us multiple strong indications that she is neurotypical. Contrary to common belief, autism both affects a person mentally and physically with a strong overlap between the two⟨04⟩. 
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[image transcript; a picture of the character CYN from Murder Drones Episode 5 standing looking upwards towards the camera smiling with a crooked posture]
Going from top to bottom, the notable traits are;
CYN is very short, being estimated to be ~100cm or ~3'4''. For comparison, most Worker Drones are around 132cm or 4'4''. This is likely due to her being a child but there have been studies which have found that Autistic people are generally taller than their neurotypical counterparts⟨05⟩.
CYN holds her head at a tilt which is an common autism stim⟨06⟩. We also see that she often uses her hand to adjust her head or to hold it in support, leading to the conclusion that she has hypotonia (weak “muscles”) which is characterised by symptoms like difficulty holding the head up, difficulties with sitting up⟨07⟩, and poor posture; all identified in CYN. The source just provided focuses mainly on infants but I did manage to find a case study of a ten year old written by Mark Hutten⟨08⟩. I also found an interesting study saying head tilting can assist in helping an autistic person with facial recognition⟨09⟩.
CYNs elbows are constantly bent over a 90 degree angle pulling her arms towards her chest. This is known as “T-Rex Arms” in the autistic community and is usually believed to be a form of stimming⟨10⟩. 
When not being used, CYNs hands are constantly limp. This is a commonly seen extension to the “T-Rex Arms”. I was unable to find a scholarly article but I did find a discussion point by the online influencer Autistic Emmalyn⟨11⟩.
CYN leans towards her left leg and her right leg is distinctly more bent, this is common in autistic people caused by what's known as “Leg length discrepancy”⟨12⟩. Note, I've found contradictory evidence for what causes “Leg length discrepancy”; does the posture decrease leg length, does the leg length induce posture, or is differing leg length an illusion. It is also unusual for both legs to be bent so it's hard to say with certainty this is the cause.
CYN points her feet inwards which is known as in-toeing which is a common symptom of autism although only generally present in young children⟨13⟩. In-toeing can be caused by “femoral anteversion”: I found no study directly correlating “Femoral Anteversion” and autism but I did find a study which correlated hypermobility with autism⟨14⟩ and a study which correlated “Femoral Anteversion'' with hypermobility⟨15⟩. Hypermobility has also been shown to be correlated with hypotonia⟨16⟩.
CYN is seen pulling her thighs inwards which is a sign of autism and many autistic people (specifically autistic children) do it to help them find balance⟨13⟩.
Note that there is one scene in which she doesn’t stand in the manner described above, in this scene she is not the focus and she’s very much obscured. I believe at this point this is likely an animation error. I will be discussing this in greater detail later on but cannot currently due to the problem of spoilers.
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[image transcript; a picture of the character CYN from Murder Drones Episode 5. The shot is of her standing neurotypically from behind while holding a ceramic teacup]
Walking
The problem with discussing the manner in which CYN walks is that we get limited shots of her walking, particularly unsupported. The best evidence we do have comes from the gala preparations in episode 5 but in that scene the lower parts of her legs are obscured and she is taking aid from N. There are other scenes where we somewhat see her walk but they each come with their own problems.
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[image transcript; a picture of CYN (left) walking holding onto her older brother N (right)]
By comparing the number of times CYN and N’s head bob while walking together we get an indication of their respective stride lengths, by watching the scene at 0.25 speed CYN takes ~16 steps and N takes ~9 steps. Since they’re walking in tandem, we can conclude that CYNs stride length is 9/16=~0.5625 times that of N’s. Since stride length and height are directly proportional17, we can take into account their height difference by multiplying by the ratio of their heights (132cm/100cm=1.32) which gives us 1.32*0.5625=0.7425 so even when height is taken into account, CYNs stride length is significantly smaller than N’s and a smaller stride length is a symptom of autism⟨17⟩. This is also backed up in other scenes where we see CYN move and her stride appears very short.
While walking with N, her gait (distance between feet) is neurotypical, in other scenes where we see her walk, without aid, this is not the case so this is a direct example of where we cannot be certain of the information we’re getting from the gala preparation scene. A wider gait length is a sign of autism⟨18⟩.
When looking at the movement of her kneecaps compared to N and the other servants, she has a distinct increased hip flexion which is a symptom of autism which is an action taken to mitigate the effects of autism on mobility⟨18⟩.
Although she has an increased hip flexion, her knee’s do not appear to bend significantly which is another sign of autism along with limited ankle movement⟨18⟩. We only see one shot in the show where we see CYN feet while she’s moving and in that she takes only one small step backwards but it does seem that her ankles don’t bend, I am reluctant to push this as evidence due to how limited the data is.
In the cathedral scene, we see that she seemingly pauses between steps as she walks (this behaviour is not present when walking with N). This is referred to as an increase in the stance phrase which is a sign of autism⟨18⟩.
Oral
CYN (voiced by Allanah Fitzgerald⟨19⟩) has a very distinct manner in which she talks, for those unaware her voice sounds very reminiscent of Siri/Alexa which strongly contrasts most other characters in the show who have fully articulated voices. Without going into details (to avoid spoilers), there is an argument that can be made that her voice is the default for Worker Drones.
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[image transcript; a picture of the character CYN from Murder Drones Episode 5 kneeling on a bar counter holding up her head with the back of her hand]
Here is a transcript of a conversation between CYN and N.
N       - *walking in*
CYN - “You seem, upset—big brother—N. Perhaps you'd like to attend the gala with me?—light sip”
N        -  “Ahh, not sure we’re invited, little buddy. Why not just hang with me?”
CYN - “climbing, criss cross applesauce—am I—not wanted, N?”
N        - “aww dude, you know its her parents… ahh, don’t give me those eyes”
CYN - “giggle, I am so naughty.”
certain parts of N’s lines being altered to avoid spoilers (CYNs lines have been left virtually unchanged).
The most obvious part of her language is her rigid voice, it is very monotone. This is not hard to correlate to Autism as ‘robotic’ is a common descriptor used to describe one of the ways people who are autistic talk⟨20⟩. I do want to mention that although her voice is robotic, she isn’t emotionless, through her actions it is clear she can feel a wide range of complex emotions including humour and annoyance; it's just she struggles showing it⟨23⟩.
CYN also uses phrases when performing certain actions such as “criss cross applesauce” when she is sitting down; this is a sign of Echolalia⟨20⟩ which is very common for autistic people⟨20⟩. Her phrase “you’d like to attend the gala with me” also gives the implications of delayed Echolalia⟨21⟩. Note, certain things she vocalises like “giggle” and “annoyed expression” aren’t Echolalia.
CYN does not show any sins of having narrow interests which is usually a common  symptom of Autism⟨20⟩. This may be a result of her limited screen presence as we don’t get significant indications of any of her interests.
Since we don’t see CYN through multiple stages of her life, it is difficult to determine if her language skills have developed unevenly⟨20⟩. She does mix childish and formal language together as she talks which can be interpreted as implying uneven language skills. I think the explanation of Echolalia fits better.
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[image transcript; a close up picture of the character CYN from Murder Drones Episode 5 kneeling on a bar counter holding out her hands making an excited expression with her tongue out] (author note, do not question why she has a tongue)
Her face, although much less emotive, isn’t devoid of emotion; she can somewhat show emotions like fear and can be very expressive but only in a rigid and forced manner although her face is usually unexpressive. She also sometimes she visually shows the wrong emotions like with the picture above she is excited but here eyes are showing the scared emotion. All these is very stereotypical of autistic people and defies the common stereotype⟨22⟩.
Now we have come to the end of part 1, which is sad ): . Please consider reblogging, this took a lot of time and research to put together and I'm sure there's still mistakes and inaccuracies. So what conclusions can we draw from this information… not much since a lot of important information has been left out since they cannot be discussed without major spoilers for the show. Thank you for reading.
References
⟨0⟩Liam Vickers | Murder Drones Episodes
⟨1⟩Luke and Kevin Lerdwichagul | Glitch Productions
⟨2⟩Liam Vickers | Liam Vickers Productions
⟨3⟩pep-the-artemis | Is N ColourBlind?
⟨4⟩I lost the intended link | so here’s a cat
⟨5⟩Interactive Autism Network | Relationship Between Autism and Height
⟨6⟩Carmen B. Pingree | Signs of Autism
⟨7⟩Medical News Today | Hypotonia
⟨8⟩Mark Hutton | Hypotonia Case Study
⟨9⟩NeuroScience News | Head Tilt Social Engagement
⟨10⟩Cross River Therapy | T-Rex Arms in Autism
⟨11⟩Autistic Emmalyn | Autistic Arms
⟨12⟩YAI | Posture and Gait of Autistic Individuals
⟨13⟩NHS | In-Toeing
⟨14⟩National Library of Medicine | The Relationship Between Generalised Joint Hypermobility and Autism Spectrum Disorder in Adults: A Large, Cross-Sectional, Case Control Comparison
⟨15⟩National Library of Medicine | Is there a correlation between the femoral anteversion angle and the elasticity of the hip muscles in cases of intoeing gait due to increased femoral anteversion angle?
⟨16⟩The Royal Childrens Hospital Melbourne | Low muscle tone
⟨17⟩Scientific America | Stepping Science: Estimating Someone's Height from Their Walk
⟨18⟩National Library of Medicine | Gait deviations in children with autism spectrum disorders: a review
⟨19⟩Allanah Fitzgerald | FitzyVA
⟨20⟩National Institute of Hearing | Autism Spectrum Disorder: Communication Problems in Children 
⟨21⟩The Autism Therapy Group | Echolalia in Autism: What It Is and How To Treat It
⟨22⟩app2vox | Understanding autism and emotions
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moonmaenad · 9 months
Text
low spoon friendly Hypnos devotional acts
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✨ NAP ✨
dedicate your gaming device to him (change its name) and spend some time chilling while playing low stress video games like Stardew Valley and Animal Crossing
in the opposite vein, play Hades and gift him ambrosia when you step out of the river Styx
watch a movie or tv show in bed that you’ve seen before and don’t have to concentrate on or you know will help induce sleep
read his mythos
set up an altar next to your bedside with items for him (lavender, diffuser with sleep helping smells, plushie you take to bed regularly, etc)
take melatonin gummies (but only if you have trouble sleeping, says the insomniac)
search for images of poppy or lavender fields, sheep (as in counting sheep), purple backgrounds, the night sky, etc and use them as your phone background
take your meds
enjoy a cup of tea in his name
find a sleep app and work on your sleep schedule
learn about the sleep cycle and circadian rhythm
learn about cicadas, sheep, rabbits or any other personal iconography you associate with him
stim with his prayer beads
get some decent sleep for gods sake
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