#and its going to only get worse with this fucking merger

[jjongswannabebae]

Marriage of convenience (18+) < rich!jay x rich!fem!reader, hurt/comfort fic, lots of making out, kissing, arguments, angst, smut 18+, a lot of tears. note: first time writing smut- not proofread!! MDNI, please reblog >

Not that you minded, being set up with on a date on a mundane Wednesday wasn't on your checklist. Considering skipping it, you drawled the process of making small talk with some random geek who had cash.

Ugh. Being the only daughter of a rich man had its own plight.

"Jude, Can't I skip today's appointment with Mr. P?" You complain to your manager, Jude shirt for Judith. She keeps her eyes in the road, save for a glance, only opening her mouth,

"Do you even know who you're meeting?"

You nod profusely, "another rich kid with attitude," you finish, staring bored out the car window, watching the way birds fly, free of restraint. How you wished to live to like that.

Money can go far but you couldn't get freedom with said money.

"Well, hate to break it to you, this guy, "Mr. Park" is different,"

"You always say that," you drawl a whine puffing up your cheeks with air. "I'll stake some money if makes you happy"

Money? You had plenty but jude wasn't someone who'd set losing bets. Curious, you beam to accept her bet, having a spike in your mood.

Jude dropped you off at the posh cafe your date had scheduled to meet. Wondering who exactly this man was, convincing enough to get the stingy jude to bet bills.

Surely, he would be anything but disappointing.

Oh and how right you were.

He stood leaning back on the counter, decked in a neatly ironed silk shirt stretched across his defined shoulders, shirt buttoned down with his chest slightly exposed, sleek formal pants running down his legs loosely hung off his waist.

Okay, you admit he had great fashion sense but what about his face?

Sunglasses decked his perfect slicked jet hair, gaunt face with a killer jawline, brown eyes sharp and lips small yet kissable, ears pierced, vieny arms folded to his chest.

Jude won the bet the moment you locked eyes with him.

He was absolutely beautiful and you'd experienced what you thought was love at first sight.

He drew a smile and walked closer animatedly. Shit. Your feet were frozen to the ground as your lips parted with surprise. He stuck his hand out, "nice to meet you, I'm park jay" he offered, politely. Yet your mind and actions faltered and were a heartbeat late on grabbing onto his hand.

The rest was history. Married a year and a half later, nobody could predict the marriage would be this loveless and stagnant. Not that the public knew.

Jay Park. Hier to the one and only park estate, leading hotel series bringing wads of cash. Along with your own established wealth from your dad's company, which you assumed you'd be taking over soon.

But those dreams were crushed when jay came home with the news that a merger would take place, a year after your marriage.

Now all that you had to do was stay at home and look after him and the kids. But wait.

What kids? A loveless marriage was one thing but a sexless one was unheard of.

Yet intercourse was the only intimacy you shared with him. Hes perfect in every aspect yet incapable of affection, you'd deemed a year into the relationship.

Any show of affection like cuddling or spending time you'd initiate would fall flat or would be denied, or worst yet he'd never be there for you to initiate it. Work, home, sleep, eat. That's all he did and that's why it was all the worse.

He acted like you were invisible except the days he came home drunk and fucked you senseless. You'd consent to that but it felt meaningless, like a repeated one night stand yet you lived with the guy and were married to him.

So when your parents haunted you with the pressure of having children, you'd burst into tears upon your arrival home. You hated the fact you were so shallow and unlovable to the one man you swore to.

You ignored the pressure from your parents to have a child yet the tension mounted.

You and jay were to eat lunch with his parents and then came the infamous line, "I would love to see my grandchildren anytime soon," said Mrs. Park nonchalantly and you swear you saw jays left brow twitch. It hurt.

There was nothing wrong with you, or him for any matter. Just that your marriage never even felt like one to begin with.

"So soon?" Jay questioned, setting down his fork to the plate. You could his temple crease ever so slightly. You'd observed the man sitting next to you for a long time when he'd be with you was when he would sleep. You'd spend countless hours staring at his beautiful face, yearning for his attention, and even more far fetched, his love.

"it'll be two years soon, son" replied Mr. Park giving a stern glare towards his son, eyes flickering over you momentarily before they returned to his plate yet again.

Worthless. That was the look in mr parks eyes. He'd probably thought how hard it'd be to seduce his son, or rather get him into bed.

You sat wordless in the car, watching out the window as you did the time Jude dropped you off him to meet him for the first time. Jay sat beside you, facing the window as well. Rain poured heavy, matching your gloomy vibe from the happenings at lunch with the parks. Right, you were a Park.

Love at first sight was real when you met jay for the first time. Yet he never reciprocated anything you felt.

Tears welled in your eyes, threatening to spill yet you held them back with all your might. Not here, not infront of jay. Never had you cried when he was present. It was unnerving to see his expressionless face watch you cry.

Yet your thoughts only grew worse and before you knew it, a tear fled from your eye and a sob broke from your mouth. It was hard, feeling unwanted and isolated all the time. Those emotions flew out like a river, gaining the attention of your husband.

"you okay?" He spoke softly, like you'd shatter if he spoke any louder, and at that you sobbed harder till you broke down weeping in the car as the driver flicked his eyes to the back seat repeatedly, wondering what commotion was taking place.

Jay asked the driver to drop you two off at their hotel, and the tyres swerved to the right, soon infront the entrance. Jay urged you to calm down and get down the vehicle. You complied and wiped your tears away, standing there as the cold wind hit your face. Yet again you felt like crying.

Jay grabbed you by the hand and tried to haul you inside as fast as possible, but you slapped his hand away, "I'll take myself there," His eyebrow twitched and raised, leaning closer to your ear to whisper, "there're eyes on us, the paparazzi is right here so just get inside," he seethed through his teeth.

At his words you panned your head around, merely for jay to put his arms to your knees and neck and pick you up and head for the roundabout back entrance. Absolutely stunned that he lifted you up with no struggle, you watched him maneuver with your mouth slightly parted.

On the elevator to the largest suite, accessible by family, you asked to let down. "No," he replied, keeping his eyes on the doors of the elevator. You didn't protest further and cozied up to his chest. He took three strides to the door and whipped it open and peered inside.

He let you down and trapped you to the door, his forehead pressing against yours. His breathing was erratic, his eyes showed emotion. *What's wrong," he let out in between exasperated breaths.

And the tears came again.

"Everything," you quip and wiping away you erratic tears with the back of your hand, leveraging your weight in the door to stand up straighter and look him dead set in his eyes.

"Do you even know anything about me? What I like to do, what I like to eat, what's my favourite color... Do you even love the person you're married too?"

He opens his mouth devoid of swords, eyes guilty shoulders heavy of burden. "You like to dance, you like spicy food, and your favourite color is," he starts small, working his mind through all the things he knew about you, "purple?"

"blue,"

"oh."

"what was the name of the dog I had when I was younger?"

Silence.

"Bruno," you answer, disappointment filling your being as you stare the guilt stricken man facing you. "At this rate you probably never felt anything for me, let alone love." He leaned his head to the door behind you, keeping his hand to your shoulder and whispering to your ear, "do you know why I've been distant with you?"

"if what you mean by distant is ignoring my every attempt and instant of me trying to express my emotions to you in the past two years, then, no. Probably except the fact you don't like me but needed someone to fill in the position of your wife." You huff, letting your true feelings show, the pack of interaction between you two hurt you a lot more than you thought.

"Perhaps your criteria was to find someone smart but quiet, pretty but not attention seeking and lastly a nice body would be a plus point, I suppose," you finish, one hand settling on his nape and the other his back. You keep your eyes trained on his, batting them ever so often so you wouldn't cry with word you uttered.

At first, jay showed no signs of response except guilt, then his face contorted to confusion and lastly to anger. The crease on his forehead from burying his eyebrows downward as he almost glared at you with a fire lit in his eyes.

"So you think I'm using you," he says, and you nod, solely for him to sneer and pull back from your hold, stepping closer and claiming you up the door as he swung his arm round your waist and one hand to your face, tilting it upto him, and dipping his head down to your eye level. Your lips were mere centimetres apart from collision. Eyeing your lips he grazed his thumb past your lips.

"You talk like you know the whole story, darling. It's not a good habit to make assumptions," he said drawing a line down your lips, his finger slipping past making a small smacking sound

"well then what's your reasoning to leaving me devoid of affection? Before you say you sent gifts, I know your assistant picked them, the clothes he sent were chosen with little to no fashion sense, whereas you have an exceptional dressing style so don't say you bought me those items, darling." You muse replicate his fiery response with sass.

He watches you with contemplating whether to tell or not. "We were only supposed to be married for a year." He starts slow, taking in your facials, watching as your eyes widened and practically urged him to continue. "The merger wasn't going to happen, you were supposed to take over," he said calmly, knowing how much of a touchy subject this was to you, having prepared your whole life to head the company and ultimately not being able too.

"But the results shown over the one year we were meant tobe together showed immensely worthy and the merger took place, therefore nullifying our one year marriage,"

Like rains drops now fell from the sky, the sunny days his behind the clouds like your tears behind your eyelids. Jay couldn't bare to see you look so vulnerable. He felt as though he was the cause for these misunderstandings, which he was not completely but partly.

"I, I never signed any contract,"

"It wasn't meant to be signed by us, it was unanimous decision,"

"So now they want us to act like a couple? Do they even know how hurt I felt to be ignored for a year, how it felt to feel unwanted and unlovable?" A stray tear strolled down your cheeks as anger creeped up your voice. It was unfathomable to you, to be lied to by your own parents, and possibly jay too.

"Had you known we'd last for only a year?"

"...yes" he paused, waiting for the information to sink into you, hoping it wouldn't shatter you more. Your head spun in circles as you struggled to get away from him, pushing as his chest as tears streamed down your face, brushing past him to sit on the couch to relieve your dizziness.

You sat there and cried while jay watched you unwind into a tears, unsure of what to do. 'I didn't want to fall for you, because I'd have to leave eventually but I couldn't stop myself from catching feelings when I was around you. I decided it would be best for me not to be there for you and I'm aware of my mistake here... But apologizing won't make the hurt and damage you faced go away. You're free to take your call, whether it may be divorce or not, and don't worry about our parents, I'll handle them."

You panned your head up at the word divorce, shifting to your feet and striding over to jay, where he stood previously, stuck in place. You faced and a loud smacked echoed across the room, his head turned 180 degrees, his cheek red with the strike of your palm.

"Atleast tell me you'll love me now, asshole,"

He put a palm to his cheek, running the area you struck him, watching your tear dried somber face, more threatening to brim out the ledge. "I'm sorry." He apologized, hanging his head low with shame and guilt.

"One thing you've never done to me," eyes conveying different sorts of emotions, "is kiss me."

He looked rather surprised at the observation, "I knew if I kissed you, there'd be no going back, both mentally and physically."

"Jay weve fucked before for hours yet you never kissed me once, didn't you think I'd find it strange? And when were you going to tell me about this whole one year marriage clause being nullified, meaning we'd spend the rest of our lives together part? Not that I didn't think we'd spend our whole lives together but I guess we thought different."

"I was planning to, but the time was never right, so..."

You turned your back to him and walked to the suites bedroom and to the bathroom, jay following behind slowly. Splashing water to your face and drying it off, seeing an awkward jay hanging around in the tension of the air. "Sit," you ordered, pointing to the ledge of the bed. Confused, he still complied, comfying himself on the edge of the bed.

"Good,"you commented, hiking up on the bed and onto jays lap to his surprise, situating yourself atop of him, staring back down to his glasses over pupils, red and swollen from the lack of sleep and fatigue. "Are you tired, darling" this time saying the nickname endearingly. "Not really,"

"then kiss me,"

Flustered by your demand, he began stuttering, "Are you sure? Like really?" You nodded along, "yes,"

"then I guess I could," he became nervous, but built up the the courage to put his hand to the back of head and slowly press down in it till your lips met his. The motion started out awkward, then jay relaxed after a few seconds or so and found a rhythm you could match.

The dynamic of the intensified as jay began settling into reality that he was kissing his wife. Swiveling his tongue around yours he began tasting every corner of your mouth, exploring every inch. You attempted to pull away due to lack of air but he held you back your hair aggressively tugging to his lapping tongue.

You moaned his mouth, hand squeezing his shoulder for stability, swiping over your bottom lip, and softly biting your lip, he let go of the insane grip he had on you. You heaved your chest up and down, messing your hair. You pushed down to the bed, sitting on top of him.

He tugged your arm towards him and you were face to face with jay. He brushed past hair intruding your picturesque visual. He lifted up your shirt enough to expose your stomach and rubbed past the expanse soothingly. He picked you and flipped you over and onto your back and made you scoot to the headrest.

The two of your made out for another few minutes or so only pulling back when in dire need of oxygen. Your lips were swollen but you were addicted. Even though the two if you had got intimate before, it was nothing compared to the emotions you felt through this. You sat up on the bed to catch your breath and ruffled through his hair endearingly.

With your approval he yanked your shirt off, then he stripped off his shirt, trapping you in between his legs. "You kiss me," he breathed out and situated his hands behind back to suport both his and your weight. You lunged at him and connected your lips to his, grinding down where your body met as he let out the soft noises from his mouth as he moved to kiss at his jaw, your hands running the expanse of his well built chest and back.

You obsessed over marking his jaw and neck for a good few minutes before travelling down to his nape, marking and sucked the area. You peppered kisses back up to his lips, taking his bottom lip between your teeth,feeling the vibrations of his groans down to your wet spot and grinded harder but free tired and settled on top of his clothes hardness.

He returned the favour by making you mean with every touch, electrifying you body. You but as his ear when his began to touch you through your remaining clothes, still keeping his lips fixated on yours. Approaching closer to your high you became hypersensitive of his every action he performed on you.

He set you on him and forced you down onto his hard-on till you cried of pleasure, riding off the whiteness by laying you down on the bed and dropping up on his elbows to kiss you. You felt immense pleasure and relief, showing your gratitude by jerking him off.

Tired, you laid on the bed in his arms, still thinking about the events that took place. "At this rate, we could just expect a kid," you say, laughing it off as a joke, "then we'll have to get to work.* He replied with a giggle and you buried yourself in his chest with a smile.

[thequeenofsarcaasm]

What do you think are Geto and Gojo’s greatest personality strengths and weaknesses? Why? What do you love about their dynamic?

I’ll try to make it short. (And probably fail so I apologize in advance)

1-What I adore about Gojo is how terribly human he is despite everything. That might also be his greatest weakness but only because he never truly embraced all that humanity. In a way, he denied himself the chance to be “weak” after Toji almost killed him and it only got worse after Geto (the one person who truly saw him for who he truly was) abandoned him. He “thrived” in individualism but where did that get him? Also, another weakness might be how tightly woven he is with that damn Jujutsu system . He says he wants change (and I wholeheartedly believe him) but he is the embodiment of that very system and its values.

RIP Princess. You shall be missed.

2-Now Geto! My man has many weaknesses. Whew. He lost his goddamn mind to fear and hatred, but despite that he is full of love (in a twisted way). He had that black and white vision of life that transpired in the way he interacted with others and yet he remains in a sort of grey area since he’s so complexe. The immense love he held for his family and friends was only matched by his hatred for regular folks. Remember in JJK0 when he started to tear up during his fight with Panda and Inumaki? 😭 Also, he disliked the idea of having to attack Yuuta, and yet so many other sorcerers (the people he supposedly wanted to protect) had to be sacrificed on that day. A reasonable sacrifice perhaps? Or a desire to sieve the popular further? I want to slap him (affectionate).

That man was the perfect embodiment of “my grandpa was racist as hell but he was kind to me and everyone in our circle so he will be missed.” and it makes him super compelling imo.

I’d also want to add that Geto had a sort of convoluted “selflessness” that wasn’t compatible with his job but remained a big part of his personality post defection. In reality, it was just a coping mechanism mingled with a saviour complexe. He needed an ideology to back his actions and lifestyle (contrary to Haibara or Gojo for ex) . The “protect weak people” bs made the job not only bearable but also ego stroking. Which means that once he stopped feeling good about being a hero FOR the weak (since he deemed them unworthy), he decided to become one for sorcerers and AGAINST the weak. That “us against the world” mentality was born from trauma and fear but also from arrogance and an unhealthy tendency to dichotomise(Gege cooked fr. Call Gordon Ramsey pls). I get it though. After killing the village there was no going back so I probably would’ve convinced myself it was a good idea to keep going until someone killed me or something (a task he “delegated” to his beloved). Had that massacre never happened, I’m convinced someone would have been able to slap some sense into him.

(I wish we knew more about his upbringing tho cause he was a master manipulator and a fucking hypocrite. I want to know where he acquired that skill lol.)

Btw, his greatest strength is that he was hot as f (I’m joking. Or am I?)

Final words on him: Beware of dogmatism y’all. Great men have been lost to it.

3-Now, I love the brat-brat tamer aspect of their duo sooooo much. Gojo was insufferable as a teenager (still is) but Geto was the only person he actually listened to, the person he chose to guide him. It’s funny that in Season 2 EP 1, Geto has to explain to him why Rico wants to spend some time with her friends before the merger but that two episodes later Gojo willfully extended the mission just because she pouted when it was time to go home. He clearly had a good influence on him. Moreover, I love how protective they are of each other. I’m positive Geto wanted to massacre the cult members but turned down Gojo’s suggestion because he knew Gojo would later regret killing them. Now, the thing that really makes my heart throb is how Geto always saw Gojo. While most people see him as a superhuman, a machine even (remember when Nanami said he should take on all the missions), Geto showed a level of care that was so strong that it changed him as a person. I will never not obsess over the glance Gojo threw at him when he asked him if he wasn’t too exhausted to continue the mission. That’s why he never got over that man. I mean, how could he?

It’s not exactly brief but I tried. It definitely could have been worse 😭 I deleted a few paragraphs.

Thank you for giving me the chance to ramble about my beloved wives. It’s a proof of love and I assure you that I love you too.

🫶🏾

[knightotoc]

The only Jedi who's ever gone to the Outer Rim and caused more good than harm is Kerra Holt. In chronological order:

- Tom Veitch foretold the trend (as he foretold everything) when he had City Boy On His First Mission Ulic Qel-Droma try to rescue the princess on Onderon (not technically Outer Rim in current canon but whatever), only to completely misinterpret the situation since the princess was getting kidnapped on purpose to marry her love. Ever since then every Core World Jedi going to the Outer Rim has also misinterpreted the situation and/or not assessed the needs of the people they are trying to help, leading to some dreadful cosmic tragedy. In Ulic's case, this small mistake was soon resolved, but in the back-and-forth of wars that resulted from this mission Ulic fell to the Sith and killed a ton of people, ending with a weak ass redemption of mansplaining forgiveness to a catgirl

- Nomi Sunrider stopped the Sith by... burning down a rainforest

- Revan (or as I like to call them, knock off Ulic Qel-Droma) did stop the Mandalorian takeover out there, but only after falling to the Dark Side themself. And what's worse, they took Malak with them. Half the time they clean up their mess, the other half they make it worse, and either way they go further into the galaxy -- bad idea!

- the Jedi Exile blowed up a planet out there. At least they felt sorry about it

- idk SWTOR 😅

- GOAT Kerra Holt goes to the Outer Rim for a specific purpose (free the people from the Sith governments) and works her butt off to accomplish this, even putting a stop to corrupt drug running from the unhelpful Republic. I have a theory that the only reason future Jedi don't learn from her is (not bc she got written just before the Disney merger but) bc she was never able to return home to Coruscant and teach the others :(

- reading The High Republic rn, and this seems to be the main theme of the series, or at least my main takeaway. In the main storyline, the Republic (+ Jedi) build Starlight Beacon for no specific purpose and do not set up any kind of infrastructure to allow the local people to actually reap its benefits. My man Tia Toon calls them out and nobody listens to him except me. Unconvincing post-9/11 villains the Nihil destroy the Beacon, which falls into a local planet and kills a ton of people. Of course the Jedi had good intentions, but so did Ulic, Revan, and the Exile

- in the side storyline, Cohmac Vitus tries to cleanse some evil artifacts and ends up unleashing the Drengir (aka, sanitized Yuuzhan Vong)! This is what inspired me to write this post bc I just read this, and wtf man! It's such a clear example of "don't mess with the dark side if you refuse to study it." This situation really was fine until the Jedi tried to help! He does feel sorry about it too, I wonder of he's gonna turn evil from guilt

- most famously Qui Gon went into the Outer Rim incidentally to his political mission, saved Anakin while he was there with an elaborate Ben Hur reference, but did not save his mom or consider the affects on the community not to mention the boy, which ultimately lead to Darth Vader

- anakin sand ppl

- you'd think Luke and Leia going to Tatooine and killing Jabba would make things better, but according to the Mando TV show everything is still pretty fucked over there

- I guess Rey caused more good than harm by going to Exegol and killing poor old palpatine; it is sad that Kylo had to die, but she forgot him so ig we should too lol

[ptbf2002]

My Hated Animated Shows From Each TV Network

Here's The List Of My Hated Animated Shows From Each TV Network, Such As Cartoon Network, Nickelodeon, And Disney Channel.

Cartoon Network: Teen Titans GO!

Oh My Fucking God! There's No Words To Describe This Shit! Want To Know Why Teen Titans GO IS placed on The List My Hated Show On Cartoon Network? It's Because That Show Ruined Teen Titans From 2003. But Good Thing I Watched The Live Action Titans On Netflix, I Find It To Be Better Than Teen Titans GO! And Even I Find DC Super Hero Girls Better Than This Shit! Speaking About This Shit, These Stupid Super Heroes Don't Seem To Be Super Heroes Seriously! DC Comics Is The Universe Of Super Heroes, And That Show Fucked It Up! And They Keep Wasting Cartoon Network's Time On Focusing On It's New Shows Produced By Either Cartoon Network Studios, Warner Bros. Animation, Hanna-Barbera Studios Europe, TeamTO, Or Even CAKE Entertainment, You Know Teen Titans GO Was Going All Over Again And It Needs To Stop, And It Needs To Get Cancelled! I was Waiting For this show to Be gone after the merger of AT&T And TimeWarner, Into One Company, WarnerMedia, Which That Merger Was Successfully, But It Failed To Get This Show Gone, Then I Have To Wait After The Merger Of WarnerMedia With Discovery Inc. Into One Company, Warner Bros. Discovery, And It Failed Again! Shame On You Zaslav! Shame On You For Keeping Teen Titans All Over Again And Wasting Cartoon Network's Time.

Nickelodeon: Baby Shark's Big Show

Are You Kidding Me?! Are You Fucking Kidding Me?! That Stupid Is So Annoying, And Now It Has A Show On Nickelodeon?! Merciful Neptune! That Stupid Shark Is Getting On My Nerves, And Thank God I Don't Listen To That Song, Otherwise It Will Stuck In My Head, And I Had To Listen To Other Songs, I Say That Baby Shark Should Get Banned, And It's Show Should Get Cancelled And Banned From Nickelodeon For Fucking Good! You Know watching this TV show millions of times Can Give the heartache, I'm Glad I Didn't Watched This Show, And I Never Will.

Disney Channel: Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Cat Noir

No, I Do Not Feel Ashamed Of Hating Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Cat Noir, I Recently Watched Some Of The Episodes Of The Show On Disney Channel, And What I Think About It?! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?!!! Miraculous was harmless with its showing of certain episodes with some morals and pretty graphics. But lately, not only has the show has poor writing and little to no character development, but it's a bad influence on the children who watch it. Miraculous encourages sexual harassment, sexism and abuse of power. The show is encouraging the main character's behavior of stalking, stealing, home invasion and constantly gets away with it with no Any Punishments whatsoever. In the fandom community, children in the age are encouraged to follow her example. Speaking About The Fandom! The Fan's Behavior Is Completely Unacceptable And Toxic! As They Ship It's Main Characters Marinette Dupain-Cheng and Adrien Agreste As A Couple, Keep On Begging The Creators Thomas Astruc, Jeremy ZAG, And Even The Writers As Well.

Gordon: Disgraceful!

James: Disgusting!

Henry: Despicable!

The show is enabling bad behaviors and the networks Which Includes TF1 From France, Nickelodeon, Which Thankfully Was Taken Off The Channel In 2016. Disney Channel, EBS 1TV From South Korea, are allowing the show to continue to set this as an example for our future generation. For the sake of human rights and privacy, i say that this show needs to be cancelled at its current point before it reflects something worse for children to actually take action of this behavior. For Me, This Is An Anti Hero Show That Airs On Disney Channel, It Just Goes On, And On, And On, And On, And On, And On, And On, And On, And On, And On, And On, And On, And On, And On, And On, BOOOORING!!!!! screw this show, i'd rather stick to the MARVEL And DC Comics Superheroes Rather Than This Garbage! And No, I Do Not Feel Ashamed Of Hating This Show, It's Just My Opinion.

Original Template: https://www.deviantart.com/lucasdacartoonboi06/art/My-hated-animated-shows-from-each-Network-template-932610901

Teen Titans GO! Belongs To Aaron Horvath, Michael Jelenic, Bardel Entertainment, Inc. Copernicus Studios Inc. DC Comics, Inc. DC Entertainment, Warner Bros. Animation Inc. Cartoon Network, The Cartoon Network, Inc. Warner Bros. Discovery Networks, Warner Bros. Domestic Television Distribution Warner Bros. Television Studios, Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc. WarnerMedia And Warner Bros. Discovery, Inc.

Baby Shark's Big Show! Belongs To Gary "Doodles" DiRaffaele, Tommy Sica, Kim Min-seok, Lee Ryan Seung-kyu, Bin Jeong, Titmouse, Inc. Pinkfong, The Pinkfong Company, Nickelodeon Animation Studios, Nickelodeon Productions, Nickelodeon, Nickelodeon Group, Paramount Global Content Distribution, Paramount International Networks, Paramount Domestic Media Networks, Paramount Media Networks, Inc. And Paramount Global

Miraculous: Tales Of Ladybug & Cat Noir Belongs To Thomas Astruc, Jeremy ZAG, DQ Entertainment, DQ Entertainment International Films Limited, Assemblage Entertainment Pvt. Ltd. Symbiosys Entertainment, Artage Studio Private Limited, In Efecto Atlantis, ZAG Heroez, ZAGtoon, Method Animation, ON Animation Studios, ON Kids & Family, Mediawan Animation, Mediawan, Toei Animation Europe S.A.S. Toei Animation Co., Ltd. SAMG Entertainment Co., Ltd. AB International Distribution, PGS Entertainment, SK Broadband, Inc. DeAgostini Editore S.P.A. DeAgostini S.P.A. Gravity Animation Inc. The Walt Disney Company France, TFOU, TF1, TF1 Group S.A. ABC ME, Australian Broadcasting Corporation, EBS 1TV, Korea Educational Broadcasting System (EBS), Nickelodeon, Nickelodeon Group, Paramount Global Content Distribution, Paramount International Networks, Paramount Domestic Media Networks, Paramount Media Networks, Inc. Paramount Global, Disney Channel, Disney Branded Television, Disney+, Disney Streaming Disney General Entertainment Content, Disney Entertainment, The Walt Disney Company, Family Channel (Canadian TV channel), WildBrain Ltd. Gloob, Canais Globo, Globosat, And Grupo Globo S.A.

[limitlessscion]

concept: the six eyes/satoru gojo's existence is a curse upon the world

the world always finds a way to correct for an anomaly. the birth of satoru gojo disrupted the balance of the world so hard that more and stronger spirits were born. when satoru gojo achieved enlightenment and had an explosive period of growth as a sorcerer, the world corrected for it once more with the most brutal summer they've had in ages. the concept is even written into satoru's technique itself; blue is creating a impossibility and the resulting suction effect is the world correcting for it

its my HC that satoru far surpassed even previous limitless+six eyes users, the power ceiling he sets is incredibly high, and he's dragging the world world up with him

stronger sorcerers isn't a solution. the world just becomes worse to compensate. and it's a feedback loop as the chaos of the world grows. stronger sorcerers or those with massive potential also emerge, some organically, some orchestrated by someone with stakes in the result of all of this.... we got kinji, yuta, yuji, megumi, maki just to name a few all coming into their power in a very short time frame— and being answered with stronger curses.

the culling games brings even more of these powerful anomalies into the world, generating even more cursed energy. we see the emergence of threats at an ever increasing level, with cursed spirits like naoya. it's all leading up to sukuna and whatever is going to come out of the merger as almost an inevitability because of this massive feedback loop that started with satoru's birth

satoru gojo needed to die and leave this world and take the cycle of the six eyes with him, and sukuna has gotta go after him. it's the only way to get the world to calm the fuck down after whatever the hell is going to happen in the finale.

satoru understands this all on some level.

[pippytmi]

ceo!au + enemies to lovers + is that the best you can do. Please thank you

“You have a real mean way about you.”

Click. Click. Click. The lighter refuses to do its job; Lena finally just places the unlit cigarette between her lips and inwardly bemoans her luck. What are the odds—a pissed off Kara Danvers, a lighter that won’t light, and to top it all off, the faint bass from inside sounds suspiciously like the electronic music she’d told the DJ not to play.

“I'll take that as a compliment,” Lena says dryly. “How did you get past security?”

Kara comes up beside her; Lena tracks her in the corner of her eye. “Your security isn’t very good,” she replies simply.

“Figures.” Lena turns, then, and leans as lightly as she can against the metal railing. “Your manners aren’t very good either. No hello?”

“We don’t say hello to each other.” Kara looks more disheveled than Lena has ever seen her. Tie undone, white shirt wrinkled where it tucks into her pants, bun of hair unkempt. For a moment she says nothing more; Lena watches as she rests her elbows against the railing, shoulders taut with tension. “I’m tired,” she declares suddenly. “Of fighting with you.”

Lena sighs, rolls her cigarette between her thumb and forefinger and wishes it were lit. “That's all we do,” she says. “We fight each other. You cause trouble for me, I cause trouble for you…” 

“You stole my merger with Edge.” Kara’s voice is quiet, but as bitter as expected. She asks no questions, makes no probing inquiry, just states the fact hollowly.

“I did you a favor,” Lena says flippantly. “He would have severely underpaid you.”

“So you decided to—what, exactly? Make sure he paid you more?” Now there is anger sharpening at the edges of Kara’s words, but not a dangerous kind of anger. It is a muted kind, one more self-directed.

A weariness makes itself known in Lena’s chest, heavy and confusing. “Yes,” she says. She has no qualms of stealing mergers from anyone, but somehow this time…this time, she feels a bit of pity. “He was making a fool out of you, Kara.  I stepped in, blackmailed him a little, and then he doubled his offer. That's how business works. You wouldn't know it because you're too naive, but—”

“Oh, I’m naive?” Kara laughs, but unkindly. Her expression is pinched; she makes a move to run her fingers through her hair, but it’s still somewhat upright, so she settles for clenching her hand into a fist. “Forgive me for trying to be a good person and not a cutthroat bitch.”

“There is no place for good people in our line of work.” Lena has long since mastered an impressive poker face, and she tries her best to remain impassive when she adds, “I suggest you get used to it. And while you're at it, you can make your way out of my house.” That seems to spark some kind of guilt—Kara slumps against the railing with a low, empty sigh.

“I’m sorry,” Kara apologizes lowly. “I didn’t mean that. I don’t think you’re a bitch at all.”

“I’ve heard worse.” Lena, in order to not see the look on Kara’s face, tries the lighter again. This time a flame emerges, flickering in the wind, thin and shaking. But it lights her cigarette all the same. “Do you smoke?” Only then does her gaze lift, and she sees Kara watching, now straightened to her full height.

“No.” Kara places her hands in her pockets, shifts sideways slightly. She is taller than Lena, and Lena inwardly berates herself for not wearing heels tonight. “Why?”

“Well I was going to offer you a cigarette, but I guess I won’t.” Lena takes a slow drag, feels her body warm with it. Smoking is a habit she can't seem to quit, and it's her one vice she's actually ashamed about. “Unless you want one anyway.”

Kara shakes her head. “No, I’d probably choke,” she declines. “It wouldn’t be very attractive.” The wind picks up; a few tendrils of hair that have escaped from her bun brush over her forehead, and she makes no move to tuck them away. “Knowing you, you would use that as blackmail for me next.”

Lena inhales smoke and sighs. “I already have enough blackmail material on you, Kara Danvers,” she says. This, too, is a fact.

“You do? Like what?”

“Like…I know you took over your cousin's company because of a kidnapping scandal involving your nephew.” Lena takes immense pleasure in the way Kara's eyes darken dangerously; she has always suspected there was some steel under that goody-goody exterior. “Clark Kent must have paid a pretty penny to the press to keep his little boy out of the papers.”

“That has nothing to do with me,” Kara says sharply.

Lena shrugs. “It's not bad blackmail material,” she points out. “Everyone loves a good sacrifice story. It would make you look heroic if it came to light.”

“It would put Clark and his family in danger.” Kara’s face twists into the harshest kind of disgust—the kind Lena expects. 

“Then you better hope I never have a reason to use it against you,” Lena says airily, stubbing her cigarette out; even smoking can’t bring her joy right now. Something about the way Kara stares at her—disappointedly—makes her skin crawl.

Kara takes a step towards Lena. They’ve gravitated close already, but this is deliberate. Her eyes, blue and sharp, are locked entirely on Lena’s. “Right,” she says. “Is that the best you can do? Threaten my family?”

Lena tilts her head up to meet her gaze head-on. “That’s just the surface of the knowledge I have on you,” she warns, and she leans in now, tugging at the undone knot of Kara’s tie. Kara comes when she is pulled, though she swallows hard enough that it’s audible.

“What else?” Kara asks. She breathes in tune with Lena now, their faces mere inches from each other.

“I also know…” Lena has more details about Kara Danvers. She does. But right now there’s one glaring fact right in front of her—one that is all too delicious to pass up. “I know that you want to kiss me right now.”

Kara stiffens; Lena feels it in the resistance of her tie. She jerks away a beat later, cheeks red and jaw clenched, to put some distance between them. “That’s,” she breathes out. “That is—” She can’t seem to be able to string her words together. “There you go again, with the mean streak. It’s not nice.”

“I thought we established I’m not nice,” Lena reminds her, an odd pang settles in the bottom of her stomach. “At least, not to anyone who poses a threat to Luthor Corp.”

“I’m not a threat to you or your company.”

“It’s not personal, Kara,” Lena says, and wishes she hadn’t put out her cigarette. “I have appearances to keep. You understand—it’s politics, all of it. Business politics.”

“So you hate me because I’m your competition?” Kara frowns. “Just like that?”

“I don’t hate you.” And as she confesses it, Lena realizes that it’s true. That maybe—maybe for once—she is also tired of fighting. “Even though I would like to, I don’t.”

“You want to hate me?” Something in Kara’s voice is raw, hopeful, and it hurts to hear. “Why?”

“I’m Lena Luthor. I’m supposed to be selfish and self-centered, remember? That’s the image everyone wants.” Fuck it; Lena reaches for her lighter again. But before she can, Kara’s hand covers hers.

“For the record,” Kara says, “I don’t hate you either.”

“I could’ve told you that,” Lena quips, casting an uncomfortable glance towards the balcony doors. Inside the party rages on, and no one is witnessing this show of weakness, but it doesn’t feel right. Lena feels exposed; there is no coming back from this,

Kara smiles and it’s faint, but a smile nonetheless. And for all her shortcomings—the messy state of her evening wear, the stubborn shade of blue of her eyes—Lena has to suck in a breath when Kara leans in. Her hand rests on Lena’s cheek, her skin frozen and her touch overwhelmingly gentle.

“You were right,” Kara says quietly. “I did want to kiss you tonight.” Her thumb traces a slow, steady path down Lena’s jaw, and Lena feels her heart hiccup. Then Kara surprises her—she leans in enough to brush a kiss to Lena’s cheek softly, cold breath exhaling against her skin. “You can add that to your blackmail list, too,” she says, stepping away, and when she places her hands in her pockets this time it’s with a sense of finality.

Lena almost lets her leave. But her heart thumps loudly in her ears and clouds her judgement entirely; she pulls Kara back, says “Wait—” and not much else, because then Kara is kissing her properly. Or maybe she is kissing Kara, winding her arms around Kara’s neck and squeezing her close because she fears the moment she will have to let go.

Kara is the first to break away. For a moment all she does is gaze down at Lena, bewildered, and says nothing. Then: “I’m not sure how I’m supposed to react.”

Lena bites her lip. “You could exploit this,” she says, “and use it as blackmail against me.”

“Right…or?”

“Or,” and Lena smooths out the collar of Kara’s shirt, which seems to be stained with some kind of liquor. “You could kiss me again.”

“Well, blackmail does sound fun.” And then Kara is smiling, soft and ridiculously wide, and Lena knows everything has changed.

[olivemeister]

OKAY NEO THOUGHTS NOW THAT I’VE BEATEN IT AND HAD TIME TO MARINATE. no spoilers for another day bc i haven’t finished it yet, but i did go “no, why shan’t i? i have the internet” and watched the secret endings on youtube so those and the secret reports will be discussed. yeah. so here’s some thoughts. i’m going to talk a lot about the more contentious things, i think. and again i haven’t finished another day so nothing to do with that, but of course major ending spoilers for the main scenario.

these are my opinions both as a writer and a media consumer, so there’s kinda two levels here. it is very freeform “as i think of it” structurally so my sincerest apologies if it’s all over the place. i am trying to keep specific topics confined rather than splattering the same plot point/whatever all through the post, but it’s not like i’m posting a peer-revied academic essay here. it’s also fucking enormous and i would say sorry but that would be a lie.

the majority of the game, i actually really enjoyed. the localization was excellent and i can’t praise it enough. i know people threw fits over the “horrible overstep” of... teenagers using slang. but did you know, in real life, teenagers use slang? even in japan, there’s slang? wild but true! the dialogue was great, and while i can’t say much re: the jp cast since i played in english, the newcomers for the english cast were spectacular. i actually think the newcomers were, in some cases, stronger than the returning cast. even in characters where i didn’t like the voice (nagi had to grow on me, i admit it), they were a fantastic match for the character’s personality.

the emotional beats re: character deaths, typically, landed the way i think the writers wanted; kanon’s death in week 3 had me devastated even though i could see it coming a mile away. i think that’s a testament to the best parts of the writing; as soon as i understood how the current game was being run, i knew it was fairly inevitable that every other team would eventually lose. odds would be that, barring something like someone changing teams or a team merger, the majority of the other teams would be completely wiped out. i knew far in advance that kanon would likely not make it to the end of the story, but it still fucked me up when it finally happened not just because i cared about kanon, but also because of how much the other characters cared about her. some character deaths affected me far less, of course. i think kanon was the epitome of “this hit exactly as hard as the writers wanted it to”, but i do feel they fell short with others. ayano’s lack of development really hurt my ability to be saddened by her death, especially when it was so clear that she set up her own possession as a trap for shoka. it undermined things for shoka in general, because while she was devastated to lose ayano, the game did a poor job at making their relationship tangible and meaningful. i felt worse (not necessarily sadder, just worse) about motoi’s death, and i didn’t like motoi. speaking of him...

the biggest issue i have with the game is a chronic square enix issue. kubo is the Man Pulling The Strings, whatever, this is fine. the problem is that he, minamimoto, motoi, and arguably susukichi are the only characters in the game with dark skin. they are all morally grey at best. i don’t think i need to elaborate on why this is an issue. we’re not going to pretend that racism and colorism don’t exist in japan. i’m just going to say that all of the dark-skinned characters are either totally evil, excessively violent, and/or morally dubious. this is my biggest qualm, but i don’t feel it needs more elaboration. yes, i know motoi turns it around in the end. yes, i know susukichi ultimately changes sides as well, and he’s ultimately portrayed as sympathetic. minamimoto is........ his own beast. but the fact remains that we don’t get a single major character who’s darker and unambiguously heroic.

second big issue is that while i understand the decision to keep shiki off camera until the very end for emotional impact, i feel like this was to the detriment of the story and to the detriment of said impact. she was mentioned, sure, and she was briefly seen from the shoulders down in a cutscene long before her introduction, but i feel that this was ultimately for the worse. her absence in the plot made her a borderline non-entity that can easily leave the audience going “why should i care about this?” on what’s supposed to be a huge emotional cathartic moment. yes, people should know this is a sequel and neku and shiki’s friendship was a crucial part of the original game, and much of the endgame of neo makes no sense if you’re unfamiliar with the original, but their interactions in the ending felt incredibly shallow. and i think this is because of how little shiki appears and how isolated she is from her other friends. eri is unseen and unmentioned. she doesn’t interact with rhyme. she hardly interacts with beat, using him as a translator at best. her other relationships are just... stagnant at best, ignored at worst, and despite having had just as vital of a role in the first game as beat did, she does nothing of import onscreen. her only narrative actions are “fix mr mew (mentioned but not seen)” and “be sad about neku”. so, functionally...

for some reason (we know why) the story decided that the only thing that was important to shiki was seeing neku. but by holding off on this reveal of her, we lost the impact that their meeting could have had. because the game refused to show her it didn’t show how much his absence was affecting her, which leaves their reunion feeling incredibly hollow. shiki was gone for upwards of 90% of the game. if not for the first game, this reunion would mean nothing; the narrative does a terrible job of reminding the audience that neku and shiki have a strong relationship and i don’t know if it’s that they expected the first game to have done the heavy lifting, or they thought that what neo gave us was good rather than “good enough”. imo this was an enormous failure and i wish we had gotten more for her both as part of the plot and as a character.

this was an issue present with rhyme as well imo, though to a lesser degree. i think they should have given up the ghost much sooner on confirming that the shadowed figure was rhyme; it was obvious by the time they showed us her silhouette, so i don’t know why the narrative held off on showing her. they didn’t have to introduce her to rindo (or give her the name splash screen) yet, but people who played the first game and are paying attention know it’s rhyme, so why bother hiding her? most of what rhyme accomplishes in this game is off-camera as well, but she has double the screen time that shiki gets.

the shiki thing is another symptom of a common squeenix problem these days, which is poorly-handled implied romantic interests. and i think that was also present with how the end of the game treated shoka. rindo and shoka as an implied romance in general did not bother me; more than a lot of squeenix protags, and perhaps primarily because of the excellent job the english cast did, i actually was unbothered by the suggestion of budding romantic feelings because it felt genuine. they actually felt like a pair of teenagers who were starting to be interested in each other, trying to play it cool and prioritize. this, and shoka’s characterization in general, is really helped by the reveal of swallow’s identity; it retroactively heightens her closeness to rindo specifically and offers enormous insight into her decision to help the team covertly. however, i think this budding implied romance was severely undermined by having other characters comment on it, especially because it felt so out of place timing-wise whenever someone commented. it was never warranted; there are times where they seem to be... not flirting, but not doing a good job of pretending there isn’t an interest. this is not when comments come. the comments come when they are having a totally normal interaction that does not suggest any non-platonic feelings whatsoever.

up until the final day, i had fairly ambivalent feelings about the idea of them as the designated hetero pairing. i felt it was a vast improvement from recent shoehorned romances in squeenix properties. the ending made things much more contentious to me, specifically how shoka is vanished by joshua. the audience should at least have the suspicion that he’s reviving her, but the circumstances surrounding it are the problem more than joshua being a deus ex machina. it’s not the first time joshua was a troll re: reviving someone, but the context of why shoka’s revival is necessary is, well... unnecessary.

they barely foreshadow the shinjuku rules re: reapers, and i will freely admit it’s not remotely ooc for shoka to hide something like that until she can’t any more. but they seem to be just a contrived excuse for shoka to be taken away... and from the framing of it, not from the player, but from rindo. which, i don’t know that i need elaborate on why i wasn’t fond of that. and i won’t lie - i know everybody beefed it in those cutscenes, including beat and neku. but when the dissonance noise grabbed shoka it gave me the exact same vibe as the demon tide grabbing kairi in kh3, and i don’t think i need to elaborate more on why that would put a bad taste in my mouth and make me fearful for shoka’s future treatment in the game. i was worried that the narrative was going to yank her away from rindo like a prize being snatched from him, and it did! while i do also think it’s ic for joshua to fuck around the way he did when reviving her, it also seems contrived and brings up a major question.

if shoka is still playing by shinjuku rules, why does shibuya’s composer have the ability to overturn her erasure? yes, i know, shinjuku is gone, but its composer is still active. surely joshua having the authority to do what he did indicates that on a cosmic bureaucracy level, shoka is a shibuya reaper. the secret reports offer a potential that joshua exploited a loophole by waiting until the second after the shinjuku rules resulted in shoka’s soul being dissolved in order to snatch it up, so perhaps the explanation is that her erasure meant she was technically no longer a shinjuku reaper and no longer beholden to its rules. but that doesn’t answer a different question that honestly bothers me more than the admittedly sorta insignificant question of whether or not joshua overstepped in reviving shoka.

shinjuku’s game has ended because shinjuku has ended; why are its rules still in play for former shinjuku reapers? i am aware that shiba is the conductor “legally” and he has made changes to shibuya’s game, but they’re careful to specify that the “ex-reapers are erased at the end of the game” rules are from shinjuku and do not apply to shibuya reapers. is she considered by the higher plane to be joshua’s underling and not hazuki’s? the secret reports confirm that the transfer of personnel from the destroyed shinjuku to shibuya was authorized by the acting conductor (uzuki) and this is standard procedure, everything was done properly. so “legally” the formerly-shinjuku reapers are shibuya reapers, right? hanekoma notes in particular that it’s a culture clash leading to the shinjuku reapers being designated as such and that they’re only nominally shinjuku reapers. why are a defunct game’s rules still active?

the biggest issue is that shoka’s threat of erasure was unnecessary from a narrative perspective, especially given how quickly it’s introduced and resolved. what was the point of putting this in the story if five minutes later the issue is just dealt with, no effort, minimal tension, by a (narratively speaking, don’t come after me joshua fans) minor character who doesn’t even appear until after the plot is resolved? i honestly wonder if it was just the writers deciding joshua needed to do something so that his appearance in the ending wasn’t just shallow fanservice for people who wanted to see the original gang. joshua’s lack of action is also presumably going to be contentious with fans; i’ve read the secret reports, and i don’t feel that they sufficiently justify why he doesn’t make any moves to protect his city despite being positioned both in his own dialogue and the secret reports as someone opposing shibuya’s purification. i will talk about this a little later re: kubo’s motivations though.

i also think it’s kind of stupid that joshua sets up “find her and you win” and then... rindo doesn’t do anything in that regard. he just bumps into her in the scramble. i know i already said i hate the idea of her being a prize to be won in a game but if they’re going to set it up, why make it pointless in that regard? it feels so unnecessary. joshua portrays shoka’s revival/return as something to be earned, and unlike the ending of twewy there’s no recognition that he was actually just fucking with them.

this is similar to my mixed feelings about kubo’s defeat. on one hand, i wanted to smash his face in personally, i have hated him the entire game. on the other hand, having him jesus beamed and rewritten out of existence without any warning or chance to resist was fucking hilarious and i actually laughed out loud. my speculation as to why he didn’t get a boss fight is that developers worried about people having trouble suspending disbelief over the party being able to defeat an angel. ultimately i think the only way this could have been done was to have it be a boss battle where your victory doesn’t matter, like the week 1 fight with susukichi, and have hazuki curbstomp kubo in the post-battle cutscenes. ultimately, i feel like this was a lesser of two evils; i don’t think the “you lose in the cutscene” approach would have necessarily been significantly better than what we got, i recognize that “the battle didn’t matter and you lose in the cutscene after” is a contentious game trope. and i would understand people struggling to accept the cast defeating a being from a higher plane without intervention from said higher plane. the only benefit would be the catharsis of getting to slap kubo around, which admittedly i kind of miss. having him as a secret boss was an option i guess but i think it would bring more questions than it was worth.

kubo’s motivation is also just bizarre; i understand that it’s given as him getting overzealous after carrying out his orders to purify shinjuku, but why? i feel like this could have easily been fixed/rationalized by “shinjuku’s surviving reapers fled to shibuya, leading kubo to consider shibuya to be an extension of shinjuku”, but that’s solely speculation. i do not know why kubo decided to also start an inversion in shibuya. they didn’t give me enough information. his conflict with joshua is inexplicable and almost entirely offscreen via the secret reports. i do not feel like i have a grasp on why the plot of the game even happened. hazuki’s involvement is iffy; i can’t say whether he initially approved of kubo’s overstep and changed his mind, or if he just took his time collecting his errant underling. the secret reports suggest the former, and hanekoma noting that the contentious nature of the previous game’s events gives a speculative explanation for why no action was taken if hazuki was actually making moves against shibuya rather than kubo being out of line. hazuki could damn well have been lying, there’s a precedent for composers being full of shit and telling bold-faced lies to protagonists, though in the previous game these lies were all eventually uncovered. this leaves me to believe that ultimately, hazuki’s statements regarding kubo acting outside of his given authority were mostly honest. but what i don’t understand is why joshua took such a hands-off approach.

yes, he says he figured the main cast had it under control and would have stepped in had things gotten worse, but this appearance and statement comes long after rindo fails and shibuya is destroyed in multiple timelines. why did he not step in in the first timeline? i can speculate, but the game and secret reports do not do a great job in explaining why the proxy vs. proxy game even happened in the first place. kubo is hazuki’s underling, which makes joshua higher in the pecking order than kubo. if hazuki was capable of exorcising kubo instantaneously, why didn’t joshua just flick him off the board like a flea before he even got started trying to cause an inversion in shibuya? in the epilogue of a new day joshua is seen in conversation with hanekoma, who’s taking shinjuku’s inversion seriously, which seems at odds with how easily his fellow composer ends the problem.

retroactively, i guess i could rationalize this as him realizing that either shinjuku’s composer must be responsible for said inversion or that potentially shinjuku’s composer has been compromised in some way. and i can rationalize him failing to immediately jesus beam kubo as well - it’s possible that, as kubo was initially acting under the orders of another composer (assuming hazuki is still technically “legally” one/at the bureaucratic level of one), joshua’s hands were somewhat tied re: what actions he could take without potential consequences. it could be that joshua would get in big trouble if he took disciplinary action against another composer’s underling, but 1. the legal transfer of personnel should mean kubo is joshua’s underling, not hazuki’s, see the shoka problem 2. hazuki’s status as a composer is questionable given that his territory is now purified and its game is defunct 3. given that kubo was acting outside of his original composer’s turf and outside of his initial orders (purify shinjuku) at this point i feel like that isn’t likely. it could be that he was trying to avoid a conflict with hazuki himself. it may be that he considered it hazuki’s responsibility to retrieve kubo, but that’s at odds with him choosing a proxy to combat kubo’s and his claims that he totally would have done something, really, he swears. they don’t give us much info at all as to why joshua entered a game with kubo in the first place. i have reason to believe that something’s fishy in the secret reports, and i would like to see the japanese text, which i’ll mention again in a few paragraphs.

i know the absence of shibuya’s composer is partially, and perhaps primarily, “there wouldn’t be a plot if joshua fixed it”. but it really feels like they just kinda tucked joshua in the corner and hoped fans wouldn’t be like “hey where is shibuya’s composer and why is no one mentioning them?” that part is probably for the same reason we don’t see shiki until the very ending, teasing the audience by holding off on revealing him until the last second, but it’s jarring to me that shiki is mentioned but neither neku, beat, nor any of the reapers (!) think “we should contact the composer”. even if just to say “we can’t contact the composer, he is unreachable”! i guess it’s to avoid people remembering how significant joshua is and thinking too hard about it, because joshua is simply too powerful of a character to be running around freely. the plot falls apart when you have a character who’s so strong and, in his own words, kind of omnipotent, who could trivialize the conflict in an instant if he took action.

i feel like they surely could have given a more explicit reason for him to not be involved in the story, even if it’s a reason like “he’s in trouble with the higher plane”. which could have easily been set up! hanekoma is clear in his reports that shibuya’s impurification is highly contentious in the higher plane; people are big mad about it, potentially people higher in the chain of command than a composer. this could have been easily utilized as an explanation for why joshua is hands-off; he’s on a shit list and needs to step carefully as a result. but it’s just not addressed. hanekoma is unreachable according to his reports, and he notes that people are trying to contact him for help. are we just to assume that people have looked for joshua to ask for help in the past but it was so long ago that it isn’t even worth mentioning now to the newcomers? according to other reports, the higher ups are pissed with joshua about his game with kitaniji and are turning a blind eye to what’s happening with kubo in shibuya as a result. but this doesn’t explain why the members of the shibuya UG never discuss the composer. hanekoma’s reports have him confused as to joshua’s lack of action as well; he knows the context of what’s going on in shibuya but doesn’t understand why joshua is staying silent.

that said! the fact that hazuki’s motive for the destruction of shinjuku is never stated does not bother me too much. he’s placed in a position very parallel to joshua in the first game, and he even says he felt like he was following in josh’s footsteps. when you add his seemingly-genuine inability to understand why people care about shibuya, i feel there’s enough evidence to... not dismiss, but nudge this aside as “He Too is a misanthropic bastard”; shinjuku’s destruction is a parallel to the intended destruction of shibuya in the first game. hazuki just carried on where joshua had a change of heart. the secret reports complicate this; it might be that someone fucked up in transcribing, but the reports i read online state that shibuya’s composer, i.e. joshua, was responsible for the destruction of shinjuku due to a game with kubo. this does not make sense given everything else, including hazuki’s own statements and later reports, so i’m setting that aside for the moment as either an uncaught mistake either in translation or transcription online (most likely) or hanekoma not knowing the actual truth until receiving the post-purification shinjuku reports. hanekoma also suggests that hazuki’s goal was also the purification of shibuya, but as he’s not shibuya’s composer this is certainly not his jurisdiction so i’m curious as to what exactly happened there.

EDIT: i’ve been informed by a helpful anon that this is not a mistranslation, the japanese secret reports do state that it was a game involving joshua that resulted in shinjuku’s inversion. with that in mind, i have figured out how to rationalize this and it solves a lot of problems: if it was a proxy game between joshua and kubo, then joshua must have been the opposition to shinjuku’s inversion. though you could argue that joshua is responsible for the end result, he didn’t destroy shinjuku; his proxy lost, probably because kubo’s had the support of shinjuku’s composer. kubo’s overconfidence in running rampant in shibuya is now explicable and he may have been trying to rub it in that joshua lost.

if hazuki was still backing kubo post-shinjuku, this could explain why hazuki felt he could make decisions about shibuya’s fate and wander around it; joshua had already overstepped onto his turf to meddle in purification, so he was returning the favor. at this point in time, i figure that joshua’s proxy was either tsugumi’s brother (shinjuku’s conductor) or coco (she’s noted to have inexplicable powers for a rank-and-file reaper, but joshua’s opposition to her killing of neku throws this into question), and if we truly had a scrapped “shinjuku’s final game” plot then joshua’s proxy could also have been neku. kubo’s proxy was presumably shiba. this actually answers a few questions that i couldn’t rationalize when i assumed joshua was uninvolved (why would shinjuku’s composer be running a game against kubo when they wanted the same thing?), so i’m gonna chalk it up as an absolute win.

i think hishima as a character was... sort of nothing. he was just there. yeah, it was kinda funny how he dressed shiba down, but i don’t know that the plot needed him. his role in the endgame could have easily been given to tsugumi without much fuss, and i feel tsugumi deserved a much bigger part in the narrative given how much she was hyped up by solo and final remix. she was so prominent and anticipated that the fans called her hype-chan for years before we had a name for her. this could also be folded into the problem with hiding shiki until the very end; it feels like we missed a whole sequence with both of these characters simply because the narrative refused to show us shiki. instead, we’re told that shiki showed up and fixed mr. mew, and somehow this freed tsugumi. i think the fact that they don’t even give a flashback of this crucial event after shiki’s proper introduction is just a questionable decision. the story tells us that tsugumi’s release from the plushie is of the utmost importance and shiba can’t be swayed without her, setting it up as a vital event, but it happens offscreen with no real interaction with the main cast. it also only happens after multiple failed loops, even though rindo’s interference is what prevents the meeting between coco and shiki to repair the plushie. i don’t understand this from a logistical standpoint; if coco isn’t pulled to escort rhyme, she must have met with shiki and released tsugumi in timely manner, but tsugumi does not appear until after you replay to get coco back to her original schedule. you could wave it off as “she didn’t get there fast enough”, but i can’t accept that as a reason given the circumstances; it’s not like she would have to look hard to find shiba. this one’s flawed writing; i know in a meta sense why she didn’t appear, it was to build tension etc etc, but in-universe it’s a plot hole.

coco being so absent from the plot is also somewhat conspicuous. i wonder what reception of her was like in japan and if that influenced her lack of presence in the story. i honestly don’t even know if she was received well by the english audience, all i know is that i did not like her at all in final remix. not from an “i don’t like the villain because they’re doing bad things” perspective, from an “i don’t find this character compelling and i think they’re annoying” perspective. also curious as to whether or not her speech patterns changed in the japanese dialogue since final remix; i found her far less jarring and obnoxious in neo and i think it’s enormously because she stopped talking verbally in internet shorthand. overall, coco’s retool was imo a change for the better, but she’s barely there for me to appreciate how much of an improvement she was. it feels like there’s an entire narrative we were set up for by a new day, yet it’s almost completely missing. the ending of a new day laid out this framework for neku and minamimoto to be forced allies in an unseen future game. i had mixed feelings about this conceptually, but the narrative setup was fairly transparent. not only does this not happen, coco’s motivation in a new day and what ultimately happened were so lacking to me.

i feel like something got lost and we were originally going to actually see and perhaps play the shinjuku game that ended in disaster instead of just getting a summation and brief flashbacks of the survivors fleeing. this kinda ties in with my complaints about how hyped tsugumi was by solo and final remix, and then she turned out to have a very small (albeit crucial, via her trailer ability) and mostly unseen role in neo’s story. retroactively we learn that rindo’s visions are from tsugumi, but this is something she does entirely off-screen. all of coco’s scheming was for nothing, because joshua was a deus ex machina and whisked neku away the second he died. this feels to me like cut content or rewrites; there’s a whole game’s worth of story that just happened off-camera and we got to hear a little bit about it. it wasn’t enough, imo. i think doing it as a midquel is still possible, but it’s a hard sell to create a video game with a downer ending and we know shinjuku’s fate is already set in stone... even though a new day ended on the tragic cliffhanger of neku’s death, it’s a little different since it’s coming as an optional postgame sequel hook after victory rather than the entire narrative you fought through ending in failure. i suppose it could be done with a Distant Epilogue now that we know shiba and most of his surviving reapers will return to rebuild shinjuku. ultimately i really think that if not for the concern about neku overshadowing the new cast, shinjuku’s purification could and should have been the prologue to neo. it would be a tough balancing act, but i do think it could have been done right and it would have done a lot for narrative tension with his absence if we had a prologue following him that ends in a cliffhanger re: shinjuku’s purification. neku’s role in the story was done decently i think re: how big said role was, but a lot of circumstances surrounding his absence, legendary status, and reappearance leave much to be desired.

frankly, i just don’t like how much they glossed over neku’s three year absence. we’re given a vague explanation of what he was doing, but it isn’t actually an explanation. definitely again feels like a plot rewrite situation; there’s this huge blank space of neku doing nothing because there used to be a story that we were going to play through and it got scrapped for whatever reason. overall i feel neku’s characterization was very odd and perhaps a little inconsistent in this game; he didn’t have much of a personality at all, which i struggle to reconcile with the original game. we don’t see how he reconciled with coco, it’s just dismissed entirely as “no we’re good now”. how are we good? why did you forgive her for playing murder games instead of just explaining shit? i know he forgave joshua for his gatekeep gaslight girlboss behavior in the first game, but we had context as to why he made that decision. also what the fuck was keeping him from coming back to shibuya, i don’t feel like that was sufficiently explained either? for someone who was so hyped up by the narrative, i was a little let down by how insignificant neku ended up being to the plot as a whole. and again, his personality seemed very watered down and neutral despite the seriousness of the situation. why was he so mellow? the circumstances of his return i did really like, because... well, we’ll talk about character relationships i guess.

i already summed up my feelings on rindo and shoka and i think i’ll leave them on the note of “unnecessary elements dampened my potential for overt enthusiasm, but overall i feel neutral-positive about the suggestion of romantic interest” which is a lot more than i can say about a lot of (semi-)official pairings. on a broader and more platonic scale? generally i have positive feelings about the new cast and their interactions; i feel like their development is more understated than neku’s in the first game, his character arc is very in your face and the neo cast is not nearly as overt, but you can see the difference in how the team interacts across the three weeks. rindo and fret’s established friendship, not to be dismissive of it, does exactly what it needs to. i mean this in a completely positive way. it’s an established friendship, they feel like friends, and they serve initially as anchors to one another in the beginning of the game as a “you’re the only person i know in this chaos” setup. this contrasts neku in the first game in an excellent way because of how it highlights their biggest character flaws, which i’ll talk about later; it’s important to rindo’s fatal flaw that he has someone to fall back and rely on in the beginning of the game in the same way that it’s crucial for neku’s development that he’s surrounded by strangers who he must learn to trust and rely on in order to survive. rindo and fret can lean on each other in the beginning of the game, and as people who have known each other for some time, are able to recognize and appreciate each others’ positive changes.

i do love the development of nagi’s friendship with fret, particularly how it’s sometimes but not always remarked on when she shelves her initial aloof attitude with him. i prefer when a narrative is more subtle on that kind of thing; pointing it out every once in a while is okay, but i don’t want it shoved down my throat via dialogue that characters are developing an emotional bond. we can see that nagi is slowly becoming more receptive to fret and less likely to dismiss or disparage him. it seems like their initial relationship is that of two people who have opposite struggles; nagi is notably closed off in the beginning, but fret immediately approaches her with an unearned and offputting level of familiarity. their slow and understated (more noticeable with nagi than fret) development towards accepting each other as friends is mutually beneficial to them even outside of the context of their personal relationship; nagi opens up a little with everyone, not just fret. placing two people with very different perspectives on how to interact with new people in close proximity helped both of them grow. i’m sure other people have different perspectives, but i do not feel like they were being teased as a pairing which i enormously appreciate, i am tired of “pair the spares” shit. (minor note: i also appreciate how while fret’s crush on kanon was very overt and strong, she was also fairly clear that she considered him a kid and his feelings were never going to be reciprocated because of that age gap. i know, the bar is low, but thank god.)

i love how, despite nagi now having been confirmed as older than beat, as soon as beat joins the narrative he takes this hard stance of “i’m the one who’s already been in this hellscape so it’s my responsibility to help the newbies”. he really embodies the big brother role so well in this game; he knows a little more about what’s going on, this isn’t his first rodeo even if it’s not exactly the same, so he considers himself to have an obligation to protect the others. he serves as sort of a physical and emotional rock for the team from the second he joins, becoming an excellent support for them both as a combatant and an older brother figure. he has experience in being both of these things, and i think beat’s writing is some of the best in the game.

despite his position as a former player who’s back in the UG, he meshes with the newbies perfectly. he doesn’t overshadow the rest of the team despite having more lived (ha) experience in the reaper’s game, he doesn’t feel like he’s on a different level from them or anything like that. he fits in while serving an important unique role that he can only fill because of his prior time in the UG. it’s completely understandable and reasonable why rindo remains the team leader despite beat’s presence. he’s had a three year gap since his last game and doesn’t even understand how he returned to the UG. he’s not a fish out of water, he knows the UG and the game. but he’s really truly gotta shake the dust off, and he’s trying to figure out what happened to him in the first place because he knows he shouldn’t be in the UG at all. he didn’t have a huge bump in intelligence since the first game, but it’s hard to dismiss him as a complete idiot. he has both large and small perceptive moments where another narrative might have chosen to keep him as the dumb muscle. in fact, his firm convictions serve an important role for the others - beat knows he didn’t die and can’t be convinced otherwise, and his confidence that he’s a living player is part of how rindo and gang realize they also aren’t dead. he’s clearly not simply a comic relief character. another story might have positioned him as more of a mentor figure, but he plays to his strengths and serves to ground the team instead. beat is honestly a highlight of this ensemble cast to me. i’m unsure as to how much of that is simply because he was one of my favorites from the first game, but i really truly love beat in this game.

shoka and neku’s late introductions to the team mean they have far less “we are now firmly allies and friends” interactions with the rest of the ensemble for unavoidable reasons. i will say that the excellent casting and localization for the english version, particularly shoka, has done a lot to mitigate that issue; yes, the plot doesn’t develop her relationships with the team as a whole as thoroughly as some of the others, but the combat interactions with her are so genuine that i found myself shocked when writing this because, well, those combat lines did so much legwork making her role in the party seem earned and cohesive. i had such a strong sense of her place in the team that just isn’t reflected in the cutscenes, and i find that very interesting but i’m unsure as to whether it’s good or bad; i think it’s incredible that the combat dialogue did such a good job fostering this air of “we are a unit” for these characters and it really is a testament to the skill of these actors, but i do wish it was more prevalent in the cutscenes itself. beat’s established relationship with neku and their relaxed nature with one another does a lot to ease neku’s entry into the group; he has an “in” with a firmly established member and a well-written dynamic with him that helps him out here.

as a nekubeat appreciator i feel very fed and i hope there’s an uptick in interest for the pairing following neo. i love how beat, who throughout the game is constantly forgetting who people from 3 years ago are (doesn’t recognize his former superior bc she’s wearing a suit now and can’t even remember her name), immediately recognizes coco despite her changing her entire aesthetic specifically because he’s so angry with her for killing neku. he’s ready to throw down the second he sees her, which gives this feeling of “he’s been waiting for this moment for 3 years”. because the narrative never addresses beat’s change in style, particularly that he wears his hair like neku now, i choose to believe it’s because the last time he saw neku was immediately after coco shot and killed him. it could be that this shit’s been haunting him ever since neku died. my city now, if you don’t talk about it in the game i make shit up. both their cutscene interactions and combat quotes do an excellent job of maintaining the sense that these two have been close friends for a long time and distance hasn’t changed that. they fall right back into old ways with one another immediately.

even outside of the context of me being a nekubeat shipper, their relationship and continued partnership (UG game context partnership) feels very genuine. neku and joshua call each other partner, but it rings hollow. i’m sure it’s partially the lack of screentime that makes it so they don’t feel like partners any more than neku and shiki do, but the game doesn’t even try to push closeness the way it does for shiki - more on that in a minute. beat is the only one of neku’s partners that seems to have retained the same strength in their bond with him despite the three years; shiki and joshua are super absent in the plot, which really undermines their relationships with neku. i’ve already talked about my problems with shiki’s lack of focus and how i feel it harms her relationship with neku, but as for neku’s relationship with joshua, i think neo has taken an interesting approach that i feel will have a mixed reception.

it actually feels like neku and joshua ended this game on worse terms than the first one even though joshua was a far more benevolent figure this time around. neku is very clear about wanting to return to the RG despite this meaning he will have no access to the UG (outside of potentially text-based communication since rhyme paved the way for RG residents to bust into the RNS and... however it was that shoka’s fanGO account worked, since she and rindo were fanGO friends long before his entry to the UG) and doesn’t show any hesitation or reluctance in stating this desire. he seems quite content with not having joshua be a part of his life, as opposed to the first game’s ending where he extends an open offer to joshua to join his friend group. i understand how this would (and will) let a lot of people down, but i actually think it’s for the best. i have no real opinion on neku’s capacity for forgiving joshua after the first game, good or bad, but i think putting distance between them in this game is the correct move.

i take this viewpoint especially given that after the first game, joshua did in fact choose this distance - neku invited him in, and he did not take the offer. it was his decision to not join neku’s group in the first game’s ending and he continued to remain separate from it in the three year gap; he may have masqueraded as a fellow player and peer in age, but joshua is not and has never been an actual peer to neku, shiki, and beat. his life experiences are so different from theirs that i would struggle to suspend disbelief that they have enough in common to maintain a close friendship. he intervened when neku was killed by coco and placed him in a safe area and gave moral support in the ending, and i think this is the most we should expect of a reforming (not reformed but in-progress) misanthrope like joshua. he’s an enigmatic figure sure and largely benevolent if inactive in this game, but he isn’t a good person and he clearly considers himself to be on a different level from neku and his peers. hanekoma notes that joshua’s somewhat reluctant to continue to remain separate from neku’s group, but i think the narrative places him both objectively and in his own mind as someone who is just... from a different world. joshua chose distance, he chose to cut contact, and this is the consequence of that decision. i think that’s a good lesson to teach; it may not be a given, but it’s natural that sometimes a friendship you ignore will fade. it doesn’t necessarily mean the time you spent didn’t matter, but you shouldn’t be shocked if a plant you don’t water wilts away.

i feel like that wasn’t the intended takeaway, that it was just questionable writing that i’m reading too deep into, but that’s how i feel about the situation.

i’m also incredibly grateful that hazuki was introduced as an age-appropriate option for joshua and i hope they’ll draw attention as a bastard boyfriends ship, both because i think it’s very funny and because i have opinions about shipping joshua with the teens. i know it’s contentious and i’m not going too deep into it, so what i’m going to say is this. the secret reports state in plain objective text that joshua downtuning his vibes aged him down and his true appearance is older. neither the narrative nor supplementary info state anything about how old josh was when he died or how long he’s been a reaper/the composer (reapers ageing is ??? as well, we don’t know if it’s not a thing or if it’s optional or what). however, it is firmly canon that he is older than 15. if that canon upsets you then that’s your problem to either work through or ignore indefinitely. suffice to say, joshua and hazuki do not have the schrodinger’s pedophile issue and i wholly support and strongly encourage that over the alternative for this reason and again because i find it funny and think they deserve each other. i hate to say hazuki is a healthy choice for joshua because i think both of them are just walking messes, but they are actual peers on the same tier of the higher plane pecking order and more importantly the disaster they could be as a couple has infinite potential.

on the girls side of things, i am still mad about eri’s absence not just because it’s a relationship shiki had that just got ignored. i know the story wants us to believe that neku and shiki have something but shiki and eri had more. i’m sorry writers you made a more compelling f/f ship by accident in the first game and i am not invested in the one you weakly suggested between neku and shiki here. if you made shiki have more of a role in neo maybe i’d feel differently, or maybe you would have screwed it up worse. we’ll never know. i think it’s a shame that they couldn’t make me care about neku and shiki as a pairing, but it is what it is.

i was briefly worried that the game would try to suggest something between kaie and rhyme because sometimes people lose their minds when a boy and girl stand next to each other, but i was quickly set at ease with that one. they felt like two people who are starting to straddle that line of acquaintance/friend in a believable way despite how little interaction between them we see, and i appreciate that. i was also briefly worried that fret would develop a crush on rhyme based on his initial reaction at being introduced to her, but again quickly dismissed. can you tell i’m a little gun shy about strangled “him boy her girl” romances in fiction these days? yeah. i’ve been let down too much recently by bad writing.

i think all of the party members could have benefited from more development with one another outside of combat lines - i would like to see more interaction between nagi and shoka, or neku and fret, etc - but that would come at the expense of the narrative’s pacing. i think it could have been done by tweaking certain details, but ultimately i can accept this as a sacrifice made in the interest of keeping the narrative from getting bloated.

i wanna talk briefly about the new main cast a little.

rindo’s ups and downs re: development are much more subtle than neku’s were, but with the secret reports in mind i feel his arc is actually pretty excellent. i think we could have done with a little less of fret pointing out rindo’s increased confidence and how he becomes more assertive, i think the audience is smart enough to notice that on their own. but i’m a huge fan of how the narrative quietly places rindo in this position of a leader who fears that responsibility, but nonetheless has to grow and accept it. hanekoma’s reports may spell it out in plain text postgame, but the narrative already told us in our own way that rindo’s development stalled when someone else entered the cast who could take over for him and this is demonstrative of a(n understandable) lack of maturity and failure to grow. neku’s fatal flaw was his rejection of others, and so he was forced by the narrative into a position where he had to learn to trust them; rindo’s is that he relies too much on them and the narrative forces him to stand on his own.

while i think this is a little muddled (he was right in some instances to not make hard solo decisions; thinking specifically of ayano, it was absolutely the right call to ease shoka into this inevitable loss rather than forcing her into the situation unilaterally) and i wish we saw more consequences of his initial waffling behavior, rindo’s indecisiveness is an actual flaw that i think a lot of people can relate to and i think it contrasts him wonderfully with neku without being heavy-handed. rindo working through it from “relying on others to make choices for him -> still valuing the input of others but not wholly dependent on them -> capable of making difficult calls without anyone else to support him” was subdued and while it had realistic hitches in the form of other characters who he could consider authority figures, it was steady and imo very good. he’s a teenager coming into his own, stepping out of this world where others in his life - motoi as an0ther, shoka as swallow, presumably his parents, teachers, etc - have made the big, scary decisions for him or guided him through them, and into a place where there aren’t these people to guide him. he’s surrounded by people who either don’t know anything more than he does, or don’t care about his best interests; he’s clashing and changing and it forces him to grasp and accept his own autonomy rather than falling back and relying on someone else to fix things when it’s too frightening or difficult.

we can talk cultural differences re: the level of autonomy and responsibility that’s right for teenagers but i’m not really interested in drawing hard lines there. this is a coming of age story; as he approaches maturity, rindo is learning how to be an adult. i think that’s a classic and important narrative concept and it’s done well here.

fret, interestingly, is imo a case where the subtlety didn’t work out. to me, there wasn’t a huge distinction between flippant “telling you what i think you want to hear” fret and “genuine” fret. his initial interactions with kanon don’t seem different from their last conversation; maybe he comes off as less initally honest in the jp version, or maybe this one was a writing fumble. maybe it’s just me, and other people don’t feel the same way! he seems to be a far more static character in a strange way; the narrative tells us that he’s developing via other characters’ dialogue, but it doesn’t seem to support that. to me it’s a failure of “show, don’t tell” - i don’t take a hard stance on “show, don’t tell” as some kind of holy rule of writing, there are plenty of situations in a narrative where telling is perfectly acceptable and i think rigid adherence to showing and not telling can result in a bloated narrative, but in this case i feel like that’s where the narrative failed. it failed to support fret’s development outside of other people telling him he’s changed. i like fret, but i feel like in this ensemble cast fret and nagi kinda serve more as nominal protagonists and are more strong supporting characters than true leads.

as for nagi, i love how, despite it being low-hanging fruit, not only are there no real digs at nagi for being a vocal fangirl of a visual novel dating sim, it actually ties perfectly into her character as someone who understands people. dating sims are about people and relationships. how people interact, the importance of conveying your feelings, the consequences of bad communication; that’s what nagi is obsessed with. and rather than this being a detriment and making her avoid others, it ends up priming her to have healthy friendships because her gaming taught her to value knowing other people. it takes her time to actually open up, but rather than the video games closing her off to others they actually set her up to be an excellent friend. elestra in general could have been a subject of enormous mockery, but instead it’s viewed in a very neutral way and is given the implication of universal appeal by fret picking it up in the epilogue. nagi’s not in the spotlight for most of the game, but the payoff of her monologue to fret about being human was immense and was one of the best bits of dialogue in the entire game to me. it’s not going to be as iconic as hanekoma’s “open up your world” and “enjoy the moment”, but i truly think it’s one of the only parts of neo’s dialogue that approaches its level.

shoka is a character that i think is better on the replay, and i say this as someone who was very fond of shoka the first time around. i thought she had a lot of personality in her mannerisms alone, and i firmly appreciate how she wasn’t a one-note tsundere character. she had some of those minor elements, but subdued and with a reasonable context - she’s hot and cold with rindo and his team because she’s supposed to be working this rigged game to erase them, but she’s already rindo’s friend in a different context and is struggling to reconcile these two parts of her life. knowing her motivation as swallow gives so much retroactive depth to her actions; she was circumventing the game itself not just because she was exhausted by it or unease with shiba like some of the other turncoat reapers, but because rindo was her friend from before the story even began.

i will say that i didn’t actually fully call swallow being shoka simply because at first i had the impression that it would be rhyme (before rhyme’s role in the story became clearer), and admittedly by the time the climax hit the mystery of who swallow was had kind of dropped out of my mind completely, but i think it does a lot to develop shoka. whether this development being retroactive is strictly good or bad as an issue is subjective; neo is a game that has a built-in chapter select, so replaying the game and rewatching the cutscenes with the full narrative context is incredibly easy. however, for a lot of players, if you’re replaying the game it’s with a specific goal of getting something you missed earlier in-game, so you’re rushing through those cutscenes trying to get to that completionist bit. i think a line could have been walked re: giving more of a hint that shoka was swallow before the very end without fully giving it away, but i definitely think the rewatch value is more subjective and based on how you specifically play the game. if you’re here looking to watch all the cutscenes again now that you know everything, shoka being swallow is a huge treat regarding changing the context of her behavior - if you’re fast-forwarding trying to find a pig, it’s totally wasted.

i would have liked to see more of shoka’s backstory and interaction with the other shinjuku reapers for sure, and i wonder if this is another thing along the lines of “we were supposed to see more of shinjuku’s final game than we did”; if we’d gotten more of shinjuku, we certainly would have seen more of its reapers. i talked briefly about how i feel like ayano’s death didn’t hit the way i think it was intended to, but if the game had let us see more of her as a shinjuku reaper i feel like the entire plot would have benefited. it would have benefited shiba as well honestly; they tried to have him as a repentant “now i shall fix what i destroyed” character at the very end, but i don’t feel like they did a good enough job portraying that he had changed and he was brainwashed so it fell flat. if we’d seen more of shiba as the compassionate leader who deserved the loyalty of his reapers that they say he was, the contrast would have done a lot to help define the tragedy of his backstory. overall i think this is another “we lost a chunk of the plot in rewrites or something” issue, which i admit is not based in anything like interviews. it’s just my speculation because it feels like something that was supposed to be here got left behind - i can’t say if i’m right, or why it happened if so. it just feels to me like the shinjuku reapers besides shoka went fairly undeveloped not because of writing/lack of screentime alone but because we lost big pieces of shinjuku content entirely. it’s insane that we only learn in the secret reports how tsugumi became trapped in the mr. mew plush to begin with; to me, this screams “we had to cut something”, and the more i think about it the more convinced i am that we were originally meant to see more of shinjuku’s inversion. hell, the secret reports just flippantly inform us that tsugumi’s brother was shinjuku’s conductor and he’s why she survived - but he goes unnamed and unseen, mentioned only in a piece of postgame content that many players may never unlock.

shinjuku’s final game is just left as this incredible story that was never told, with a cast who we barely see. again, it doesn’t bother me that they never explained to us why hazuki purified shinjuku. but i do wish we could have connected with its reapers to see how they reacted to its impending fate; who was on kubo’s side, who was trying to protect shinjuku? who knew what was happening, and who was just swept up in the chaos? how did the purification affect them emotionally after their escape to shibuya? just from the secret reports we see that tsugumi’s brother is this tragic hero of another story, the conductor opposing the executor and fighting to save his city before ultimately sacrificing himself to keep his sister alive. this is enough content that it could have easily been a standalone, but it wasn’t. i think that’s a damn shame. i’m sure there are people who are already chomping at the bit to write about shinjuku’s tragic final game and it’ll make a stunning fanfic in the right hands, but this is a big gap for fanfiction authors to be filling in.

this was mostly a narrative thoughts dump, but i wanna say just a couple of things about the combat: overall i liked it! i was significantly overleveled for the vast majority of the game partially because i was having fun with the combat, i feel gameplay was very intrinsically motivating. because of how the food system worked, being overleveled didn’t mean too much since it only affects HP, but i also was eating constantly so i was in fact just OP for much of the game. so i suppose, take my gameplay commentary with a grain of salt because i was busted quickly. if i hadn’t been such a powerhouse from early on, i expect my gameplay experience would have been much different.

my biggest complaint: there were some significant issues in enemy design related to battles being timed and the timer having consequences. some enemies were a reasonable/intuitive pain, say, elephants being bullet sponges and chameleons having an invisibility mechanic. these things made them challenging, but in a sensible way. like, of course a big honkin’ elephant has a ton of HP. i think that chameleons in particular could have been tweaked; you have to be very close to them when they’re invisible in order to lock on, and i think this could distance could have been extended a bit to minimize frustration. likewise, it felt like party members that get grabbed by a t.rex were trapped for ages; i feel this could have been tweaked as well. i know a lot of people had issues with wolves for this same reason, but their comparative frailty and my pin choices meant that i quickly overcame wolves and they became a minor nuisance at best until endgame introduced a beefier wolf. even then, i found t.rex noise to be much more of an issue because of their sturdier nature and higher damage output. these are minor gripes; i didn’t like seeing these enemies, but i didn’t hate seeing them. no, here’s what i hate: rhinos and pufferfish.

to me, these are the most annoying enemies in the entire game outside of maybe a handful of bosses. i feel they were poorly thought out in general. the tendency for rhinos to put themselves against the arena walls and the delay on pufferfish exploding after their HP hits zero do not mesh well with that battle timer. i find myself very frustrated by these enemies because it feels like i’m being punished not for a lack of skill or bad decisions choosing weak pins, but simply bad luck. very few pins can circumvent the rhino’s front guard and the hitbox for their guard feels enormous, so i can’t imagine i’m the only player having difficulty herding them out of corners to actually damage them or get beat drops. there’s a postgame dive with a big noise rhino, and it was my worst experience with the entire game because it just kept backing into a corner. i quit that dive multiple times because of how much time i wasted with the rhino; i changed my pins like crazy trying to take advantage of elemental weaknesses or use pins that could circumvent the guard. but it wasn’t about what pins i was using, it was just bad luck with hitboxes. when i finally got the gold rank on that dive it wasn’t that i did anything significantly different, the rhino just didn’t park its ass in the corner that time.

as far as i know, and i hope i’m missing something that someone can enlighten me on, there is no way to prevent pufferfish from inflating and exploding outside of a killer remix. i have not discovered any way to make them explode faster. the amount of time it takes for them to blow up seems to vary not by species but by individual, i’m not sure if it’s being triggered by proximity to a party member or what but i know sometimes one of those little shits will inflate and chase me across the entire arena before finally exploding. in a chain battle, that wasted time adds up. the pufferfish issue could have been severely mitigated, if not entirely fixed, if the gap between HP hitting zero and explosion was just the time it took for them to inflate. that would have basically eliminated my needless frustration with them. but instead i just... don’t know how to make them pop faster.

in normal combat, your post-battle score is primarily just bragging rights/making yourself feel good to have gotten a good grade. but when it comes to dives, where the timer directly decides how many of the finite friendship points you get, the appearance of a rhino or pufferfish specifically is something i approached with dread and disappointment. i already mentioned the postgame dive giant rhino specifically being a nightmare, but this was a reoccurring element for me through the entire game with just normal rhinos. i know rhinos are a returning enemy and kept their front-guard schtick, but the shift to a 3D environment has made them a much more (imo needlessly) difficult opponent.

regarding the pin system itself, i was enormously disappointed to learn how the multi-pin input worked. it turns out that you can only have multiple pins using a single input no matter how many multi-pin wields you unlock; gone were my dreams of having 2 Y-input pins and two ZL input pins (i played on switch). the inability to multi-pin wield uber pins regardless of how many uber slots you have filled is also a huge bummer. i feel like in the postgame i should be able to be an absolute god of destruction, but this didn’t pan out.

this seems to be a switch issue, but autosave was the MVP of the game because i had a few cutscenes crash or freeze (the one with kubo’s reveal seems to be a common source of a crash on the switch version as it fails to load the 3D cutscene); this was annoying and needs fixing, but it was slightly mitigated by autosave kicking in immediately after boss battles. i was crushed thinking i was gonna have to go through the shiba fight again after kubo crashed my game, so the relief i felt upon loading up again and going right into the cutscene was immense. don’t get me wrong: cutscene freezes and particularly crashes are a big problem that a game like this shouldn’t have launched with, but at the very least i didn’t lose my progress on that crash. related, i appreciate the ability to speed through cutscenes you’ve already seen, but i do wish we had the option to skip them entirely because that would have saved me from the freezes that i had to manually close the game and lose progress for.

a more minor complaint that i admittedly am unsure as to how to fix (maybe utilizing the d-pad instead of having it be camera/target select alongside the right stick?) is that i do not seem to have much control over which character my camera centers on in combat. typically selecting the pin that’s equipped to them will focus the camera to them, but every once in a while i’ll be locked to someone whose pin is rebooting while my other party members are actively attacking on the complete opposite end of the arena. i have no idea why this happens. if i’m missing something please let me know. the static nature of the overworld camera took some adjusting to, at first i was offput but i got used to it quickly. if camera was fixed position in combat it would have been a nightmare, but it being fixed in the overworld isn’t the same beast.

this has gotten obscenely long, so props and condolences to everyone who has made it this far. i wanna end on a high note because i want to reiterate something: i have so many criticisms here and that’s actually praise. i enjoyed so much of this game that i’m critical of where it fell short specifically because it’s such a strong contrast to how much i felt it did right. the main story was pretty strong in general, though some character interactions were lacking. the plot itself i didn’t talk a lot about because i thought it was good. there wasn’t much to say, they did a good job! the dissonance noise being created from deleted timelines was great, i loved that. i don’t feel like predictability makes a narrative bad, so it’s not like i was upset when it turned out replay was (gasp) part of a dastardly scheme. for me, foreshadowing is an excellent thing even if sometimes i wish it was handled a little differently.

i vastly prefer this game’s vague sequel hook with minamimoto over how final remix ended a new day; that sequel hook i hated and it had me so worried about neo. thankfully a lot of my fears didn’t come true, and i am very happy overall with the game we got. if another game is greenlit, i would hope it progresses with a mostly new cast; as long as we stay in shibuya some supporting characters can and should be staples imo, like kariya and uzuki, and i hope to see more of what’s being set up with minamimoto even if not necessarily with him as a protagonist. but overall i think twewy’s worldbuilding lends itself much more to a rotating cast if it develops into a full franchise; that’s just the nature of the UG, and i would like to see further installments taking advantage of that and allowing characters to have a complete arc and then retire from the narrative naturally.

i’ve got some pigs to erase and some bosses to slap the pins out of, which i’m sure will take me some time. another day certainly has a secret boss and/or time trial boss rush, so i’ll take a look at that sucker soon as well. i’m looking forward to continuing my playthrough, and i expect to sink quite a few more hours into this game. i really truly enjoyed neo despite my qualms, and i’m leaving the main storyline behind for postgame stuff with almost entirely positive feelings and a hopeful stance on the potential future of the series. i know this was a long-ass post, which is why it’s beneath a readmore, but to anyone who cared enough about my thoughts to keep reading the whole thing... thanks for the time you spent, hope you got something positive out of it!

[exosmutfactory]

Apart (Part 2 to Fallen)

Part 1

word count: 3158 (how tf!?!?)

Baekhyun feels uneasy the second he’s back inside the house; the air seems to be ten times colder without the warmth of your smile and the soft laughter of your daughter filling the air.

His fingers mindlessly trace over the patches of fabric you lovingly stitched into his coat after all the times he carelessly snagged holes in it from yanking it off of the hanger. He knows it’s selfish. Not properly sending you on your way to mask his own hurt at seeing you and your daughter venturing off on your adventures without him. Your world-stopping smile, pregnancy glow, and the two sets of heart softening doe eyes looking up at him too much for his tired form to bear. Too much for him to deal with his guilt without falling apart in front of you.

He hates it — hates how hard it is to be around you lately. Always feeling as if he is stepping on eggshells in fear of stressing you out. Your soft smiles and sweeter words whispered to the precious symbol of your love growing inside of you brings tears to his eyes that he has to hide every time you gaze up at him from across the living room when he steps through the door. You mean the world to him and he’d do anything for you. No matter how many long hours he spends cooped up alone at the office, or sleepless nights from attending to your daughter when she cries for him in the middle of the night. He wouldn’t change a single part of your lives — except for last night.

His heart aches at the thought; fists clenched and bile rising in his throat. Remembering the deceitful men urging him to take more drinks, and the woman he practically had to shove off his lap.

♡♡

Baekhyun’s heart beat is pounding furiously in his ears, the only thing stopping him from going into a blind rage is the thought of you waiting up for him at home. With your pretty doe eyes and worry-melting smiles. Just your presence alone can calm him down.

He steps over the threshold without a word, hanging up his cream colored coat as he’s struck with the reminder that he is two hours late again. The underlying implications of that puts him in an even sour mood. He’s so stressed out lately that just the thought of anything more than a cup of coffee makes him feel sick to his stomach, and even more ill at the fact that you’re probably thinking he doesn’t enjoy your meals anymore. Meals that you usually store away for later, yet tonight you are—

“How was work?” Your voice is soft, always understanding in wake of his more often than not pleasant moods. His heart flutters as he quietly moves over to the coffee maker, mindful to carefully brush off his shoes before stepping onto the newly mopped floor. You turn away from him and he frowns, guilt budding in his chest as you distract yourself with the dishes. He knows how hard it is for you to have to take care of things around the house while having a bun in the oven.

“The merger bailed.” He mumbles, taking a few minutes to remember what you asked him.

“No.” You gasp, spinning to him, eyes wide and lips parted in shock. “Why? You’ve been working on this collab for months-”

“They wanted us to travel with them.” Anger once again fills his veins while recalling how disrespectfully those bastards spoke of you; a bitter smile forming on his lips. “Apparently a 7 months preganant wife doesn’t make the cut.” Fuckers. The lot of them.

“Y-You can go, I mean.” Your stuttering breaks him from his revengeful thoughts. Looking so small in his eyes with your hand over your adorable stomach and a plate of food balanced in your other hand. “I-I could let the baby spend the week at-”

What? “Where will they go?” Baekhyun panics. Why would you want your daughter to be away? Did he do something wrong? Are you—

The crashing of the plate to the floor startles him; hours of your hard work scattered like his barely contained emotions. “Where will they go?” He repeats softer, roughly carding his fingers through his ruffled hair. Did he startle you? He didn’t mean to. He’s just so—

Baekhyun raises a brow, swearing that he heard you say something in that cute way you like to utter things under your breath. His eyes widening at your state, hands outstretched to help you back up only to stop, a memory occurring to him. You screamed at him every time he attempted to help you pick up fallen food during the earlier months of your pregnancy. Proclaiming that you were ‘capable of doing it’ yourself while sternly pointing him towards the cupboard that you keep the cleaning supplies.

“I-I got work in the morning,” Baekhyun mumbles. The last thing he wants is to fight you. He doesn’t want to risk what regretful words he’d spew if he stays any longer; quickly going over to open the supply cupboard for you and setting the first-aid kit on the countertop just in case you accidentally prick yourself. He tentatively retrieves his coat from the rack, meekly uttering,  “I’ll be at Chanyeol’s. Don’t wait up, okay?” While pulling the door closed behind him.

♡

Yeah, he’s still upset. Very upset. He’s been working on that stupid merger for 4 months. Hours upon hours spent worried over how he’s going to pay off student loans, provide for your growing family, and help your little stars through college. The weight of all the responsibilities weighing so heavily on his shoulders that he has resorted to shutting down and shoving his own feelings aside. He’s got a beautiful daughter, a beloved wife and another little one on the way. All of them are depending on him and he cannot under any circumstances afford to disappoint them. For what is the sun without it’s pretty planets circling around, leaning on it for stability and warmth? Nothing. But a big ball of pent up energy marching on its own journey to collapsing upon itself.

Suddenly, the sky is covered with dark clouds; the bottom dropping out from under the fluffy accumulations of rain. It’s pouring out; the heavy droplets pelting down on the roof remind him of all the times he went out his way to go pick you up in the middle of storms such as this one. Because it’s not safe for you to be driving out in the rain —​​​​​​​ driving out in the rain.

Baekhyun’s eyes widen, ripping a new hole in his coat as he rushes to put it back on, throwing the front door open with half the mind to lock it behind him because you always chastise him over leaving the house vulnerable — but right now you’re fucking vulnerable!

“Fuck fuck fuck,” He mutters, yanking the door to his black Audi open just as the squealing of car tires in the distance reaches his ears.

Baekhyun freezes, grip tight on the doorframe and hair matted to his forehead. Because just up the road is a car accident with what he swears is your car and it doesn’t look pretty.

“Oh my god.” A neighbor gasps, her leashed puppy cradled in her frozen grasp. 

Baekhyun doesn’t stop to think; he fucking runs.

An ambulance is already weaving through the crowd as idiomatic bystanders block their way to the flipped over white Honda surrounded by broken glass on the sidewalk. The shrill screams of a frightened child — his child! — has him pushing his way through the crowd. Scrambling to the driver’s side of the car.

He wrenches the dented back car door open, tentatively brushing glass away from her tear streaked cheeks. Thanking every higher being that she only has small scratches on her little face. He scoops her out of the ruined carseat and cradles her to his chest, trying to soothe her as paramedics rush over to pull you from the car. Fuck. You —

Baekhyun’s head snaps up, wordlessly hurrying over to them on quick feet while they pull your unconscious form from under layers of broken metal and glass. A glance alone shows that you weren’t so lucky to leave the accident with only a few scratches on your face. No, there’s large pieces of glass distorting your delicate skin and a waterfall of red washing away in the rain.

Baekhyun barely hears a word that the person next to him is saying, only catching the phrases “child” and “hospital” before snapping out of his trace. “W-Wait!” He walks as fast as he can with your shaking daughter in his arms, “I’m the husband, I—” He chokes, eyes stinging with the realization of what is unfolding in front of him. Your limp body being lifted into the back of the ambulance. “I’m her husband.”

The paramedics usher him inside, offering a seat and asking to check up on the trembling toddler in his arms.

“How far along is she?” One of them asks, pulling a stethoscope from around her neck.

“7 m-months.” His voice comes out hoarse, a lump forming in his throat as he watches her slide it over your stomach. The lack of reaction from the little life inside of you makes more tears pool in the corners of his eyes. “I-Is the baby okay?”

She only gives him a solemn look, uttering some type of medical code to one of the other paramedics jotting down notes on a clipboard. “We’re almost at the hospital. Can I take a look at her?”

Baekhyun blinks through his blurry vision, reluctantly handing the small girl in his arms over to her. He shivers, just now feeling the coldness of his soaked clothes; swiping his drenched hair out of his eyes while graciously taking the thick blanket offered to him.

You couldn’t arrive at the hospital fast enough for him. He doesn’t know how much longer his heart can take seeing you like this — like a shattered irreplaceable vase missing the pieces to put it back together. Lifeless. Never to be the same again.

He barely registers the commotion as the paramedics roll you out of the ambulance and through the lobby, only stopping when a nurse holds him back from following you down the hall. “I’m sorry, Sir. You can’t go back there.”

“I—”

She swiftly shakes her head, standing her ground as he feels as if his whole world — his whole life is being flipped upside down. Less than an hour ago, your glowing figure was smiling up at him. Less than an hour ago, he thought that nothing else could get worse than the stress he faces every day. Yet here he is now, helplessly watching you and your daughter get taken further into the hospital — farther away from him. The man who vowed to be with you; in sickness and in health. In times of hardships and your greatest accomplishments. The same man who swore that no matter what came your way, you would face everything together—

Together…

Baekhyun plops himself down in an uncomfortable plastic chair; his head hanging low. How could he have forgotten such a thing? All the promises of sticking by your side through everything and anything. Of trust, leaning on each other — communication! When’s the last time he told you about his tiring days at work just to end up smiling by the end of the night while held in your loving arms? Or heard you complain about your feet hurting only for you to giggle soon afterward when he accidentally tickles you with his diligent massage? Or dared to reach across the body-shaped pillow that has taken up space in your bed to pull you to his chest. Did he really let himself get carried away by his own self doubts and fears? 

Baekhyun’s breath hitches, his heart stopping in its tracks. Did he seriously hide himself away thinking the pain of being unable to reach him wouldn’t hurt you? Wouldn’t make you… You want to leave him?

He doesn’t know how long he sits there. Surrounded by the endless amounts of people being rolled in the never-ending stream of patients in the hosiptal. It seems as if everyone has gotten into bad accidents today, but no amount of blood and body disfigurement can erase the horrific image of your helpless child — of your lifeless form being carried out of that battered car.

“Mr. Byun?”

Baekhyun’s head shoots up to the light blue and white dressed man in front of him. “T-That’s me,” He croaks, throat hurting from holding back tears while hurrying to stand up.

“I’m Dr. Kim,” The man holds out his hand, introducing himself — uselessly, Baekhyun thinks.

“H-How are they?” He manages between shaky breaths, five seconds away from crumbling into a heap on the porcelain white floor.

“Your daughter and son are okay.” The doctor states calmly, flipping through papers on his clipboard.

Baekhyun breathes a small sigh of relief, heart calming down a little. “And my wife?” His tone hopeful; eyes pleading. The uncertain expression on the doctor’s face enough to knock the wind out of him, “Follow me.”

He trails after the man; right on his heels, gulping down the panic steadily rising in his chest as they turn the corner at the end of the long hallway. The doctor opens the door, wordlessly stepping aside to let him enter the crowded room. At least three nurses are stationed in the room. One fussing over a small bundle in their arms and another with his daughter outstretching her arms towards the bed on the right side of the room. The sight of you nearly sends him falling to his knees.

“Your son is 5 pounds,” The brunette softly says over the loud cries of your daughter. “He has to spend a few days in the NICU until we—”

“Give her here.” He demands, arms held out to take his daughter away from the blonde nurse struggling to hold her squirming form. She’s quick to hand the child over, watching enviously as the little girl settles in her father’s arms, loud wails simmering down into quiet whimpers.

Baekhyun slowly makes his way over to the bed, carefully lowering her down between the spaces free from all the tubes attached to your pale form. She wraps her arms around your bandaged arm, doe eyes still brimming with tears. He hates the panicked confusion swirling in her shiny orbs. Hates how lifeless you look against the standardized hospital sheets and the gauze wrapped around your head.

“She lost a lot of blood.” The doctor tentatively notes, dismissing the nurses from the room. The brunette sets the baby down in the bassinet next to the bed before departing as well. “And hit her head pretty hard on the dashboard… The baby had to be taken by C-section,” He adds, noticing Baekhyun’s eyes drifting over to the little one squirming in the bassinet. “We want to keep an eye on his vitals for a few days.”

“And my daughter?” Baekhyun mumbles, he can’t bear to raise his voice. Can’t bear the slow beeps of your heart rate echoing around the quiet room.

“Nothing but a few scratches.” He sees the doctor raise his hand from his peripheral as if to place it on his shoulder before reconsidering it, lowering it back down with a clear of his throat. “I’ll give you some time alone.”

Baekhyun barely acknowledges his words, shaky hands reaching out to cradle your ice cold one in his own. Unmerciful tears swarming his eyes. He doesn’t hold them back this time.

“I’m sorry.” He barely registers the pain of his knees hitting the tiled floor, head bowed as he folds in on himself, weeping so hard his shoulders quake from the built up emotions rolling through him by waves. Much more choppy than the ones that lapped at your bare feet dipped into the ocean all those years ago. At the edge of the world. Where nothing else mattered but your bright smile and your heart racing against his own. 

“I-I’m sorr—” He chokes, hot tears flowing down his cold cheeks. Why did he pull away from you? Why did he have to go and hurt the sole person he would lay his own life down for? What if you never wake up? How will he explain to his daughter that her mother won’t be around anymore? That your son won’t know you at all anymore? You who were strong enough to stick by his side, filled to the brim with endless bounds of unconditional love despite how he treated you instead of the actions promised within your shared vows until you couldn’t — he made it so hard that you couldn’t anymore.

“I don’t deserve you.” He sniffles, voice cracking through his trembling lips. Hands clutching tightly onto your own. “I don’t deserve you at all, but please.” He can barely talk around the waterfall of tears pelting down his face, the sting of them worse than any downpour imaginable. “Please don’t leave me alone like this, baby. D-don’t.” He reaches up to cradle your cheek in his palm; the sound of his heart breaking nearly audible in wake of the healthy glow now gone from your face. “Open your eyes,” He breathes, fingers caressing your cheek. “Open your pretty eyes, baby. Tell me your love again,” He pleads, tears wetting the sheets and the fabric of your hospital gown. “Come back to me again.”

He drops his head again when you give no signs of hearing him; his hand slipping down helplessly back to your own grasping aimlessly at his — your hand!

Baekhyun nearly gets whiplash, eyes shooting up to meet your tired ones. The relief of seeing you looking back at him has him jumping to his feet, almost tangling himself up in the tubes attached to your body if not for your quiet warning reminding him. He settles for continuing to hold onto your hand, squeezing it softly as it slowly warms up the longer it is held within his, “You came back.” He whispers, astonishment clear in his hoarse voice. 

“You came after me.” You utter right back, lifting your arm to let your daughter snuggle closer into your unbandaged side.

“Of course I did,” Baekhyun’s eyes flutter all over your person, heart leaping in so much joy he wonders if you can feel it racing between your intertwined hands. “I’d die for you.” He declares, words resonating through both your chests like the meaningful ones exchanged five long years ago.

“And I’d live for you.” You proclaim right back; smile bright and eyes lighting up at the small cries of your symbol of undying love.

[severetimetravelnerd]

Hatred and Love (ft. G Dragon) Mafia AU

Part 13

You finally get to tell Jiyong what you couldn’t earlier.

(I don’t own any of the images used. All credit goes to the original owners.)

Taglist:

@unabashedturkeytreeslime​

@happiestgirlontheeastcoast​

@kwonnansi​

@aarfyie​

@suhappysuho​

If there is anyone else who would like to be tagged, you can comment or leave me a message :))

I only write on this blog on tumblr, so if you see my work on any other platform, please let me know immediately.

Now, things are coming to a close. It has appearances from Daesung, Taeyang, TOP, Mino, Hanbin and EXO (mostly Kai). This continues with the EXO storyline, but again, I have nothing against EXO :)) I love them, but I had to use someone for the plot. This chapter has a lot of Suho. Sorry, for making him kinda evil!!! I love him in real life :))) It also has a good amount of Xiumin:))

Also, I think I’m almost done with this series. There is only one chapter left after this, I think :)). Hope you enjoyed it and please do leave feedback :))) I love hearing from you!! Sorry for being a little late to upload it this time

Warnings: Violence, Death(not main character), Injury, Blood, Eventual smut, Abduction, Guns and Knives, language. Injuries to a few people here. 

————————————————————————–

God, you had missed everything about him. He was so familiar, so warm, so comforting. You could barely stop yourself from melting further into the kiss. You guys still had to get things under control. You pulled away from the kiss, equally as teary-eyed as Jiyong, looking up to beam at him, cheeks hurting from how hard you were smiling. Jiyong stared down at you, shocked. When he first felt your soft lips press against his lips, he couldn’t believe what was happening. He didn’t understand. He couldn’t think, so for once in his life, he told himself to let it be and just do what his heart told him to do, which was kiss you back. He had just wrapped his hands around you and pulled you closer when you pulled away, leaving him in shock. He stared at your smile for a second before grabbing your hands and pulling you even closer. He sounded breathless, urgent, when he said, 

“No. You don’t get to do that to me. You don’t get to kiss me like it’s the most normal thing in the world and not something that I’ve been longing for, and pull away like that.”

 He held your face, his thumb lightly brushing against your lip. He leaned in for another kiss, but you lightly pushed him away. You gave him a half overjoyed and half pained smile and said,

 “Jiyong, I promise we can talk and sort everything out in a bit, but right now, we have to focus.”

  He didn’t respond, just sighing and getting up. For a minute there, when he got up facing away from you and didn’t respond to what you said, you felt devastated. He was mad at you. Maybe the two of you didn’t want the same things. A wave of tears threatened to follow. But then he dusted his hands and extended one to you, pulling you up. He had the brightest smile on his face when he said, 

“You promised, right?"

 You had to stop yourself from staring at him, and you turned away jerkily, your eyes landing on Jongin. You felt your throat constrict a little. You looked around again. Your apartment was a mess, but you could deal with that later. Jongin, and unfortunately, the bleeding Joonmyeon on the floor were bigger worries. Voice tight, you said,

 “Jiyong, we need to get these two to a hospital.” 

Jiyong nodded. 

“You’re right, love, but we can’t take them to a hospital without people asking questions.”

 Your cheeks flushed and your heart started beating faster when you heard him call you “love”, but you managed to get your point across.

 “Call Hanbin then. He has a friend who owns a hospital. We can take them there.” 

Jiyong got out his phone to tell Hanbin to do that. You went out to your balcony and blankly stared at the city around you. You had no idea what to expect when you first got there, but whatever happened, with all its ups and downs, you didn’t regret a minute of it. You were so engrossed in just thinking back to your time with Jiyong that you didn’t even hear him follow you out. He stood next to you and leaned on the railings.

 “Hanbin will be here in 5 minutes and then, we can follow him to the hospital.” 

You nodded, turning to look at Jongin. The blood around his head dried up and it didn’t look like he lost too much blood, but seeing him in that state was just awful. You couldn’t even do anything to help him because you were scared you would make things worse. You shuddered a little and wrapped your arms around yourself a little tighter. You turned to look at Jiyong. He was also staring at Jongin, looking dismayed that he had ended up like that. He had come to care for Jongin, no matter how annoying he could be. He had become part of the family. But then again, so had most of EXO.

You stared at him, getting lost in your thoughts. The way his hair fell in his eyes, soft and floppy, sticking up cutely every now and then. The way his sinewy arms tensed glaring at Joonmyeon. The way you could see a little bit of his tattoo under both his sleeve and his collar. The way his adam’s apple bobbed when he gulped. The way his face was shining from the sweat. The intense look in his eyes. He was definitely planning something. You looked down at his hands, wanting to see that familiar smiley tattoo and those long, graceful fingers when you realised they were bleeding. His hands were bleeding. You didn’t know why. And that realisation made you tear up. You weren’t with him for all this while. He was hurt. It could have been worse. And you wouldn’t have known. He would have been in pain and you wouldn’t have known. Your hands were shaky when they reached out to hold his, gently lifting them up to your lips. So was your voice.

 “Ji, what happened to your hands?”

 His eyes softened, his anger at Joonmyeon disappearing when he saw you. He pulled you closer, wrapping his arms around your waist. He gently lifted your hands and brought his lips down to kiss them.

 “They got cut earlier today, when I was running here. I tripped on the concrete.”

 It really wasn’t the worst thing in the world, and you had seen him with way more injuries, but somehow, when he said that, your lower lips started trembling. You bit down on it to keep yourself from crying. You had to hold it together. Jiyong needed to sort this mess out. You couldn’t bother him with this in the middle of it all. You would have continued down that road if Jiyong didn’t pull you in even closer, so that your face was resting against his chest. He gently kissed the top of your head, patting your back comfortingly. 

“It’s okay Y/N. It’s over. You’re okay. It’s all going to be okay.” 

And he held your shaking figure in his arms like that, letting you soak through his shirt with all the tears, gently patting your back until you calmed down enough to snuggle in even closer into his arms.

 An hour later, you were at the hospital, in Jongin’s room. Hanbin was pacing up and down nervously, worried beyond measure for his new-ish hyung. Jiyong was sitting next to you. You just watched Jongin, grateful that his arm was okay and his head injury was just a light cut. Joonmyeon was in far worse shape. A bullet in his foot, a light concussion and some bruising from the punches Jiyong threw at him. Minseok was with him. He wanted to be the first person to talk to Joonmyeon, because he wanted to make him see sense. All the other EXO members except for Sehun and Yixing were outside in the waiting room. They were worried about their hyung, because they knew it was a minor miracle that Jiyong didn’t kill him. They were definitely mad at him for hurting Jongin and you, because some of them had grown close to you, but he was still their leader and their hyung. They owed him a shot at forgiveness. They needed him to agree to the merger. It was all better that way.

You stared at Jongin and slipped your hand into his, squeezing it lightly and whispering, 

“Come on Jongin. Open your eyes. Prove to me that you’re okay and then I’ll be able to rest.”

 before looking down.

 Jiyong’s grip on your other hand tightened a little, his thumb reassuringly stroking the back of your hand. Hanbin was freaking out.

 “Fuck. Something seems wrong hyung. I don’t think he’s comfortable. Should I call the nurse? You know what? I think I’m just going to go ahead and ask the doctor to check on him again. I’ll also call the head nurse. I feel like he didn’t take a proper look at hyung because-” 

All of you froze when you heard Jongin’s rather croaky voice saying, 

“Hanbin, relax. I’m fine.”

 He opened his eyes, cracking a slight smile at the rest of you before struggling to sit up. You were about to go help him, but Jiyong was quicker. He was standing by his side, helping him up with one hand and adjusting the pillows beneath him with the other. Jongin stared at him in surprise. Jiyong hyung never really does that kind of thing for other people. Jiyong caught his look, blushed a little before deciding to address it.

 “What? I was worried about you.”

 Jongin’s smile grew even wider. Hanbin leaned on the wall behind Jongin, carefully watching him for any signs of distress. He knew Jongin hyung was stupid enough to pretend like it didn’t hurt. Jiyong came and sat back down next to you while Jongin got comfy. Jongin finally looked around and cracked a proper grin.

 “Don’t worry, I swear I’m fine! I was more worried about Y/N. I knew Joonmyeon hyung was out to get her, not me, and I wasn’t sure whether she’d be able to handle an unsteady, angry Joonmyeon hyung. How did you manage to hold him off Y/N?” 

He trailed off towards the end of the sentence, not wanting to upset you. You gave him a rather shaky smile, not wanting to get into everything that happened and said, 

“I just managed.” 

Jongin got the hint and didn’t probe any further, but Jiyong just stared at you in concern. Your hands had the slightest of quivers, and your smile didn’t quite reach your eyes. He clenched his fists, knuckles white. You were scared because of Joonmyeon, that fucker. His gaze turned deadly. He wasn’t going to let him get away with that. Jongin quickly changed the topic, noticing your slight signs of fear and Jiyong hyung’s obvious anger, but even through all of that, with you laughing at Jongin’s ridiculous jokes and Hanbin’s snarky comments, Jiyong couldn’t join in. He couldn’t take his eyes off you.

 Joonmyeon slowly opened his eyes, feeling unusually drowsy and looked around. It was a bright, well-lit room with an oddly distinctive smell. He sniffed. It was the smell of disinfectant. It was that damn smell. The smell of a hospital. Joonmyeon scrunched up his face in confusion. How’d he get to a hospital? EXO never took people to hospitals. And then, it all came back. You’d think he’d feel anger or rage at how Y/N shot him in the foot, and how she gave him a concussion, but more than anything else, he was filled by an overwhelming amount of guilt. Jongin. He had to be okay. Joonmyeon had been extra careful to make sure he didn’t injure him too badly. He looked around, trying to find more information about Jongin only to find Minseok hyung sitting there, staring at him. No matter how angry he was that the rest of them left to merge with Jiyong, Joonmyeon could never be angry with Minseok hyung. He could barely even look at his hyung because of how bad he felt for hurting Jongin. He knew Minseok wasn’t going to let that go. But all Minseok did was look him over once and hand him a glass of water, waiting for him to drink the whole thing before he finally spoke.

 “How are you feeling Joonmyeon?”

 Joonmeyon looked at him, a little unsure and then replied in a subdued, muted voice. 

“I feel okay. My head hurts and I can’t feel my foot because of the medication, but otherwise I’m okay.”

 Minseok nodded. 

“Okay. Get some rest Joonmyeon. Take it easy for a while.” 

Joonmyeon stared at him, unable to believe himself.

 “You’re not going to say anything about what I did? You? Who was always so vocal about hating my decisions?”

 Miseok’s eyes harden for a second and then he sighs.

 “I will. I’m just overwhelmed because you’re still alive. You know it’s a miracle Jiyong didn’t kill you, right?” 

Joonmyeon’s jaw tightened. That damn woman had stopped Jiyong from killing him, and now, he was feeling angry and guilty about it. Minseok continued. 

“We had a deal with Jiyong. He was supposed to not harm you, Yixing or Sehun. And he wouldn’t have harmed you until you decided to try to kill Y/N. And after that, honestly? We wouldn’t have been able to blame him for that.” 

Minseok’s jaw tightened a little.

 “She was nice to all of us, and you know what she means to Jongin.”

 Minseok’s eyes turned positively murderous. 

“And then there is what you did to Jongin.”

 Joonmyeon winced. The room turned silent again. Joonmyeon finally took a deep breath and said, 

“Hyung. Call for a meeting. With everyone. Now. As soon as Jongin and I can both participate. The most important part is Y/N has to be there.”

 Minseok’s eyebrows shot up, alarmed. 

“Why does she have to be there?” 

Joonmyeon looked at him, eyes determined.

 “She is going to be the deciding factor for whether we completely merge with Jiyong.”

 You sat down on the cold metal chair outside Jongin’s room, sighing. The nurse had kicked you out saying Jongin needed to rest. You subconsciously wrapped your arms around yourself a little tighter, face tense because you were worried. Jiyong had disappeared a while ago to make some calls, leaving you there, and if you were being completely honest, the moment he left the room, you became a little sadder. God, you had missed him. You wanted to talk to him. Explain things. Tell him that you loved him. That you couldn’t stand not being around him. That something was so very wrong when he wasn’t around. You hoped desperately that he still felt the same way, chewing on your lips nervously. You were so nervous that you didn’t even notice the same man you were thinking of slide into the seat beside you and watch you with loving, satisfied eyes. You only realised he was there when he offered you a cup of hot lemon tea, nonchalantly sipping on his own. He looked up from his cup with an adorable smile. 

“Your favourite.” 

You smiled and took the cup, sipping on it and letting the warmth of it spread through your tired body. Jiyong spoke up again, trying but failing to keep his tone light.

 “You said we could talk and figure things out?”

 You stared at his face. He was smiling, but you could see the small signs of nervousness. The way he couldn’t keep his legs still. The way he nervously tugged at his earrings. You missed them. You nodded as a reply to Jiyong’s question.

 “Yeah, I did say that.” 

Jiyong gave you a look that was an odd mixture of exasperation and adoration. 

“So, can we talk now Y/N?” 

You looked up at him and smiled again.

 “Yeah sure. Do you want to go first or should I?” 

You paused for Jiyong’s reply for less than a second before scratching that plan. Suddenly, all your nervous tics were visible to him. 

“Fuck it. Ji, when I left, I left because I didn’t want to be treated that way. I still don’t. but I never left because I didn’t love you. I thought I would be happier away from a place where I was being used as a tool. I wasn’t. I missed you. I missed you enough to drive me mad. I was upset. I was hurt. It was partly because I hated myself for doing what I did, because I couldn’t get your hurt face out of my mind. I felt like I had left because I wanted to prove a point even though I knew deep down that you never meant a word of what you said then. I also hated you a little, although it isn’t fair. I hated that you didn’t stop me. That you let me go so easily. I hated that you thought it was better for you to make a decision for me where you thought I would be living a better life when all I couldn’t see a life without you in it. I want you back. I want us back.” 

You looked up at him throughout your entire explanation, eyes glossy with earnest tears. Jiyong stared right back at you with an increasingly loving gaze, and after you finished, looking at him shyly, suddenly nervous, he lifted your hand and kissed the inside of your wrist, gently moulding your palm to hold his face. Taking a look at the one face that got him through anything, he gathered enough courage to tell you how he felt. Taking a deep breath, he began. 

“Y/N. I absolutely do not deserve you in my life. All I’ve done is brought you pain. I should never have spoken to you that way. I should have kept my promise. I should have made sure that you never saw the mafia side of me. It was all my fault that you went alone that night, and came back unconscious, in Hanbin’s arms. I put you in danger. And I couldn’t live with myself for it. I wanted to let you go, hoping that maybe if you got the better life you deserve, it would lessen my pain of having to let you go. Y/N, you know I’m a selfish guy, but for the first time in my life, I thought I should do the right thing and let you go. So, I did. And it was my worst regret. I should have begged. I should have apologised. But I never should have made that decision for you. Y/N, my love, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for putting you through this. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to keep you safe. I’m sorry I didn’t keep my promise to you. I’m sorry I’m not the kind of man you deserve. I’m sorry I’m not giving you the life you deserve. But I’m going to be selfish and ask you to stay with me, because I know things will be different this time. I can change. I have changed. It’s not your duty or your job to make me a better person, and neither have you ever asked me to change, but I know I’ve changed simply because I want to be someone you’re proud of. I-” 

You cut him off, with a few tears streaming down your face. 

“Jiyong, I have never not been proud of you. And please don’t say I deserve better, or a better life. I want you. I want to be a part of your life. And I want you to be a part of mine. I could never want anyone else like this, no matter how seemingly perfect they are. Kwon Jiyong, I love you.” 

You smiled a stunning, warm smile through your tears. 

“And I regret not telling you that sooner.” 

Jiyong had turned slightly glossy eyed, and as he looked down at your earnest face, cheeks flushed, eyes teary and trusting, with not an ounce of fear in them, he knew he made the right decision. He pulled you close, pressing you flush against his chest and swore under his breath.

 “God, Y/N L/N. I love you too.”

 And leaned down to kiss those beautiful, soft lips that he had missed.

The moment you felt his lips against you with that ever so familiar scent of his aftershave, cologne and something that was just essentially him, you pressed back into the kiss, deepening it. It was slow, it was sensual. It was perfect. You could feel the apologies and the love through it. You pressed yourself even closer into him and gently nuzzled up to him, slowly kissing him, relishing every second of it. His arms wrapped around your waist as he slowly pulled away, smiling at you. You leaned up and pressed a light kiss against his jaw. 

“I love you Jiyong. I love you, I love you, I love you!”

 And you laughed a laugh of pure glee, happy that you finally told him. Smiling back at you and carefully brushing the hair out of your face, Jiyong kissed the tip of your nose and said,

 “Good, cause I love you too.”

 You settled into his arms, cuddling up to him, just sinking into the familiarity of it all while he wrapped his arms around you and held you, relishing the feeling of having you back in his arms. Jiyong heard a muffled voice speak against his chest.

 “Ji, did you quit smoking?”

 He smiled, resisting the urge to pull you onto his lap and kiss you again. 

“I did. How did you know?” 

He heard your slightly sheepish voice reply saying,

 “You smell different.” 

Jiyong grinned. He missed these small beautiful moments with you. The two of you sat like that for a while before you got a call from Hanbin. You sat up, worried that something had happened.

 “What’s wrong Hanbin?”

 Hanbin’s voice decidedly tight, replied. 

“Y/N, you and hyung need to get here. We’re having a meeting with EXO, and Joonmyeon says you have to be there.”

[96harmony96]

Chapter 11

“But she’s let you in.”

And she’d already shown hints of how possessive she could be about that connection. I accepted that because it was a flaw I shared, but still…

“You’re analyzing this to death, Camila,” Cary said. “You’re thinking the way she feels about you has to be a fluke or a mistake. Someone like her couldn’t really be into you for your big heart and sharp mind, right?”

“My self-esteem isn’t that bad,” I protested.

He took a sip of his champagne. “Isn’t it? So tell me something you think she likes about you that doesn’t have to do with sex or codependency.”

I thought about it and came up empty, which made me scowl.

“Right,” he went on with a nod. “And if Jauregui is anywhere near as messed up as we are, she’s thinking the same thing in reverse, wondering what a hot babe like you sees in a girl like her. You’ve got money, so what has she got going for her besides being a stud who keeps screwing up?”

Sitting back in my chair, I absorbed everything he’d said. “Cary, I love you madly.”

He grinned. “Back atcha, sweets. My advice, for what it’s worth? Couples therapy. It’s always been my plan to get into it when I find the one I want to settle down with. And try to have fun with her. You’ve got to have as many good times as bad or it all becomes too painful and too much work.”

I reached over and squeezed his hand. “Thank you.”

“For what?” He shrugged off my gratitude with an elegant wave of his hand. “It’s easy to pick apart someone else’s life. You know I couldn’t get through my rough spots without you.”

“Which you don’t have any of now,” I pointed out, shifting the focus to him. “You’re about to be splashed across a Times Square billboard. You won’t be my secret any longer. Should we upgrade dinner from pizza to something more worthy of the occasion? How about we haul out that case of Cristal Stanton gave us?”

“Now you’re talking.”

“Movies? Anything in particular you want to watch?”

“Whatever you want. I wouldn’t want to screw with your big-dumb-blow-’em-up movie genius.”

I grinned, feeling better as I’d known I would after an hour with Cary. “You’ll let me know if I’m too dense to figure out when you and Trey want to be alone.”

“Ha! Don’t worry about that. Your tempestuous love life is making me feel dull and boring. I could use a hot, sweaty bang with my own stud.”

“You just had a maintenance closet romp a couple days ago!”

He sighed. “I’d nearly forgotten. How sad is that?”

“It isn’t when your eyes are laughing.”

I’d just gotten back to my desk when I checked my smartphone and found a text from Lauren letting me know she had fifteen minutes to spare at quarter to three. I nursed a secret rush of anticipation for the next hour and a half, having decided to take Cary’s advice and have a little fun. Lauren’s and I would have to wade through the ugliness of my past soon enough, but for now, I could give us both something to smile about.

I texted her just before I left, letting her know I was on my way. Considering the time constraints, we couldn’t waste a minute. Lauren must have felt the same way, because I found Scott waiting for me at reception when I reached the Cross Industries waiting area. He walked me back after the receptionist buzzed me in.

“How’s your day been?” I asked him.

He smiled. “Great so far. Yours?”

I smiled back. “I’ve had worse.”

Lauren was on the phone when I entered her office. Her tone was clipped and impatient as she told the person on the other end of the line that they should be able to manage the job without her having to oversee it personally.

she held up one finger to me to tell me she’d be another minute. I responded by blowing a big bubble with the gum I was chewing and popping it loudly.

Her brows shot up, and she hit the buttons to close the doors and frost the glass wall.

Grinning, I sauntered over to her desk and hopped onto it, curling my fingers around the lip and swinging my legs. she popped the next bubble I blew with a quick jab of her finger. I pouted prettily.

“Deal with it,” she said with quiet authority to whoever was on the phone. “It’ll be next week before I can get out there and waiting will set us back further. Stop talking. I have something time-sensitive on my desk and you’re keeping me away from it. I guarantee that’s not improving my disposition. Fix what needs fixing and report back to me tomorrow.”

she returned the phone to its cradle with suppressed violence. “Camila—”

I held up one hand to cut her off and wrapped my gum in a Post-it I took from a dispenser on her desk. “Before you reprimand me, Miss. Jauregui, I want to say that when we reached an impasse in our merger discussions at the hotel yesterday I shouldn’t have walked out. It didn’t help to resolve the situation. And I know I didn’t react very well to the PR issue with the photo. But still…Even though I’ve been a naughty secretary, I think I should be given another chance to excel.”

Her gaze narrowed as she studied me, assessing and reevaluating the situation on the fly. “Did I ask for your opinion on the appropriate action to take, Miss Cabello?”

I shook my head and looked up at her from beneath my lashes. I could see the lingering frustration from her phone call falling away from her, replaced by her growing interest and arousal.

Hopping down from the desk, I sidled closer and smoothed her immaculate tie with both hands. “Can’t we work something out? I do possess a wide variety of useful skills.”

she caught me by the hips. “Which is one of the many reasons you’re the only woman I’ve ever considered for the position.”

Warmth flowed through me at her words. Boldly cupping her cock in my hand, I fondled her through her slacks. “Maybe I should reapply myself to my duties? I could demonstrate some of the ways I’m uniquely qualified to assist you.”

Lauren hardened with delectable swiftness. “Such initiative, Miss Cabello. But my next meeting is less than ten minutes away. Also, I’m not accustomed to exploring job enrichment opportunities in my office.”

I freed the button of her fly and lowered her zipper. With my lips to her jaw, I whispered, “If you think there’s anywhere I won’t make you come, you’ll have to revisit and revise.”

“Camila,” she breathed, her eyes hot and tender. she cupped my throat, her thumbs brushing over my jaw. “You’re unraveling me. Do you know that? Are you doing it on purpose?”

I reached inside her boxer briefs and wrapped my hands around her, offering up my lips for a kiss. she obliged me, taking my mouth with a fierceness that left me breathless.

“I want you,” she growled.

I sank to my knees on the carpeted floor, pulling her pants down enough to give me the access I needed.

she exhaled harshly. “Camila, what are you—”

My lips flowed over the wide crown. she reached back for the edge of her desk, her hands curling around the lip with white-knuckled force. I held her with both hands and mouthed the plush head, sucking gently. The softness of her skin and her uniquely appealing scent made me moan. I felt the vibration ripple through her entire body and heard a rough sound rumble in her chest.

Lauren touched my cheek. “Lick it.”

Aroused by the command, I fluttered my tongue across the underside and shivered with delight when she rewarded me with a hot burst of pre-cum. Fisting the root of her with one hand, I hollowed my cheeks and drew rhythmically, hoping for more.

I wished I had the time to make it last. Drive her crazy…

she made a sound filled with the sweetest agony. “God, Camila…your mouth. Keep sucking. Like that…hard and deep.”

I was so turned on by her pleasure I squirmed. Her hands pushed into my bound hair, pulling and tugging at the roots. I loved how she started out with tenderness, then grew rougher as the lust she felt for me overwhelmed her control.

The soft bite of pain made me hungrier, greedier. My head bobbed as I pleasured her, jacking her with one hand while I sucked and stroked the crest with my mouth. Heavy veins coursed the length of her cock, and I slid the flat of my tongue along them, tilting my head to find and caress each one.

she swelled, growing thicker and longer. My knees were uncomfortable, but I didn’t care; my gaze was riveted to Lauren as her head fell back and she fought for breath.

“Camila, you suck me so good.” she held my head still and took over. Thrusting her hips. Fucking my mouth. Stripped to a level of base need where only the race to orgasm mattered.

The thought made me crazed, the image in my mind of how we must look: Lauren in all her urbane sophistication, standing at the desk where she ruled an empire, stroking her big cock in and out of my greedy mouth.

I gripped her straining thighs in both hands, frantically working my lips and tongue, desperate for her climax. Her balls were heavy and big, an audacious display of her powerful virility. I cupped them, rolling them gently, feeling them tighten and draw up.

“Ah, Camila.” Her voice was a guttural rasp. Her grip tightened in my hair. “You’re making me come.”

The first spurt of semen was so thick, I struggled to swallow. Mindless in her pleasure, Lauren was thrusting against the back of my throat, her cock throbbing with every wrenching pulse into my mouth. My eyes watered and my lungs burned, but still I pumped my fists, milking her. Her entire body shuddered as I took everything she had. The sounds she made and the muttered, breathless praise were the most gratifying I’d ever heard.

I licked her clean, marveling at how she didn’t fully soften even after an explosive orgasm. she was still capable of fucking me senseless and more than willing to, I knew. But there was no time and I was happy about that. I wanted to do this for her. For us. For me, really, because I needed to know I could indulge in a selfless sexual act without feeling taken advantage of.

“I have to go,” I murmured, standing and pressing my lips to her. “I hope the rest of your day is awesome, and your business dinner tonight, too.”

I started to move away, but she caught my wrist, her gaze on the clock readout on her desk phone. I noticed my picture then, sitting in a place of prominence where she’d see it all day.

“Camila…Damn it. Wait.”

I frowned at her tone, which sounded anxious. Frustrated.

she quickly restored her appearance, tucking herself back into her boxer briefs and straightening the tail of her shirt so she could fasten her pants. There was something sweet in watching her pull himself back together, restoring the façade she wore for the world while I knew at least a little of the man beneath it.

Tugging me close, Lauren pressed her lips to my brow. Her hands moved through my hair to unclip my tortoise barrette. “I didn’t get you off.”

“No need.” I loved the feel of her hands on my scalp. “That rocked just the way it was.”

she was overly focused on fixing my hair, her cheeks flushed from her orgasm. “I know you need an even exchange,” she argued gruffly. “I can’t let you leave feeling like I used you.”

A bittersweet tenderness pierced me. she’d listened. she cared.

I cupped her face in my hands. “You did use me, with my permission, and it was seriously hot. I wanted to give you this, Lauren. Remember? I warned you. I wanted you to have this memory of me.”

Her eyes widened with alarm. “Why the fuck do I need memories when I have you? Camila, if this is about the photo—”

“Shut up and enjoy the high.” We didn’t have the time to get into the photo issue now and I didn’t want to. It was going to ruin everything. “If we’d had an hour, I still wouldn’t let you get me off. I’m not keeping score with you, ace. And honestly, you’re the first person I can say that to. Now, I have to go. You have to go.”

I started away again, but she caught me back.

Scott’s voice came through the speaker. “Excuse me, Miss. Jauregui. But your three o’clock is here.”

“It’s okay, Lauren,” I assured her. “You’re coming over tonight, right?”

“Nothing could keep me away.”

I shoved up onto my tiptoes and kissed her cheek. “We’ll talk then.”

____

After work, I took the stairs down to the ground floor to feel less guilty about skipping the gym and seriously regretted it by the time I reached the lobby. Lack of sleep from the night before had left me wiped out. I was contemplating taking the subway rather than walking when I saw Lauren’s Bentley at the curb. When the driver got out and greeted me by name, I halted abruptly, surprised.

“Miss. Jauregui asked that I take you home,” he said, looking smart in his black suit and chauffeur hat. He was an older gentleman with graying red hair, pale blue eyes, and the softest of cultured accents.

As much as my legs ached, I was grateful for the offer. “Thank you…? I’m sorry—what was your name?”

“Angus, Miss Cabello.”

How had I not remembered that? The name was so cool, it made me smile. “Thank you, Angus.”

He tipped his hat. “My pleasure.”

I slid through the back door he opened for me and as I settled into the seat, I caught a glimpse of the handgun he wore in a shoulder holster beneath his jacket. It appeared that Angus, like Clancy, was both bodyguard and driver.

We pulled away from the curb and I asked, “How long have you been working for Miss Jauregui, Angus?”

“Eight years now.”

“Quite a while.”

“I’ve known her longer than that,” he volunteered, catching my gaze in the rearview mirror. “I drove her to school when she was a young girl. she hired me away from Mr. Vidal when the time came.”

Once again, I tried to picture Lauren as a child. No doubt she’d been beautiful and charismatic even then.

Had she enjoyed “normal” sexual relationships when she was a teenager? I couldn’t imagine that women weren’t throwing themselves at her even then. And as innately sexual as she was, I imagined she’d been a horny teen.

Digging in my purse, I pulled out my keys and leaned forward to set them on the front passenger seat. “Can you see that Lauren gets those? she’s supposed to come over after whatever it is she’s doing tonight and depending on how late that is, I might not hear her knock.”

“Of course.”

Paul opened the door for me when we arrived at my apartment and he greeted Angus by name, reminding me that Lauren owned the building. I waved to both men, told the front desk Lauren would be coming over later, and then took myself upstairs. Cary’s raised brows when he opened the door to me made me laugh.

“Lauren’s coming over later,” I explained, “but I’m feeling so hammered right now I may not stay up long. So I gave her my keys to let herself in. Did you order already?”

“I did. And I tossed a few bottles of Cristal in the wine fridge.”

“You’re the best.” I shoved my bag at him.

I showered and called my mom from the phone in my room, wincing at her strident, “I have been trying to reach you for days!”

“Mom, if it’s about Lauren Jauregui—”

“Well, of course, it’s partly about her! For goodness’ sake, Camila. You’re being called the significant woman in her life. How could I not want to talk about that?”

“Mom—”

“But there’s also the appointment you asked me to make with Dr. Petersen.” The note of smug amusement in her voice made me smile. “We’re scheduled to meet with him Thursday at six o’clock in the evening. I hope that works for you. He doesn’t do many evening appointments.”

I plopped backward onto my bed with a sigh. I’d been so distracted by work and Lauren that the appointment had slipped my mind. “Thursday at six will be fine. Thank you.”

“Now, then. Tell me about jauregui…”

When I emerged from my bedroom dressed in jersey pants and a San Diego State University sweatshirt, I found Trey seated with Cary in the living room. Both men stood when I came in and Trey gifted me with an open, friendly smile.

“I’m sorry I look so ragged,” I said sheepishly, running my fingers through my damp ponytail. “Taking the stairs at work almost killed me today.”

“Elevator take the day off?” he asked.

“Nope. My brain did. What the hell was I thinking?” Spending the night with Lauren was enough of a workout.

The doorbell rang and Cary went to get it while I headed into the kitchen for the Cristal. I joined him at the breakfast bar as he signed the credit card receipt and the look in his eyes when he glanced at Trey had me hiding a smile.

There were a lot of those looks going back and forth between the two men as the evening progressed. And I had to agree with Cary that Trey was a hottie. Dressed in distressed jeans, matching vest, and a long-sleeved shirt, the aspiring veterinarian looked casual but well put together. He was very different personality-wise from the type of guy Cary usually dated. Trey seemed more grounded; not quite somber, but definitely not flighty. I thought he’d be a good influence on Cary, if they stayed together long enough.

The three of us made it through two bottles of Cristal and two pizzas between us, plus all of Demolition Man before I called it a night. I urged Trey to stay for Drivento round out the Stallone mini-marathon; then I went to my room and changed into a sexy black baby doll I’d been given as part of a bridesmaid gift bag—sans the matching panties.

Leaving a candle burning for Lauren, I crashed.

____

I woke to darkness and the scent of Lauren’s skin, the lights and sounds of the city shut out by soundproofed windows and blackout drapes.

Lauren slid over me, a moving shadow, her bare skin cool to the touch. Her mouth slanted over mine, kissing me slow and deeply, tasting of mint and her own unique flavor. My hands slid down her sleekly muscular back, my legs parting so she could settle comfortably between them. The weight of her against me made my heart sigh and my blood warm with desire.

“Well, hello to you, too,” I said breathlessly when she let me up for air.

“You’ll come with me next time,” she murmured in that sexy and decadent voice, nibbling at my throat.

“Will I?” I teased.

she reached down and cupped my butt in her hand, squeezing and lifting me into a deft roll of her hips. “Yes. I missed you, Camila.”

I ran my fingers through her hair, wishing I could see her. “You haven’t known me long enough to miss me.”

“Shows how much you know,” Lauren scoffed, sliding downward and nuzzling between my breasts.

I gasped as her mouth covered my nipple and sucked through the satin, deep pulls that echoed in the clenching of my core. she moved to my other breast, her hand pushing up the hem of my baby doll. I arched into her, lost to the magic of her mouth as it moved over my body, her tongue dipping into my navel, then sliding lower.

“And you missed me, too,” she purred with masculine satisfaction, the tip of her middle finger rimming my cleft. “You’re swollen and wet for me.”

she pulled my legs over her shoulders and licked between my folds, soft and provocative laps of hot velvet against my sensitive flesh. My hands fisted in the sheet, my chest heaving as she circled my clit with the tip of her tongue, then nudged the hypersensitive knot of nerves. I keened, my hips moving restlessly into the devious torment, my muscles tightening with the clawing need to come.

The light, teasing flutters were driving me insane, giving me just enough to make me writhe but not enough to get me off. “Lauren, please.”

“Not yet.”

she tortured me, coaxing my body to the brink of orgasm, and then letting me slide back down. Over and over. Until sweat misted my skin and my heart felt like it would burst. Her tongue was tireless and diabolical, cleverly focusing on my clit until a single stroke would set me off, then moving lower to thrust into me. The soft, shallow plunges were maddening, the flickering against the nerve-laden tissues making me desperate enough to beg shamelessly.

“Please, Lauren…let me come…I need to come, please.”

“Shh, angel…I’ll take care of you.”

she finished me with a tenderness that made the orgasm roll through me like a crashing wave, building and swelling and spreading through me in a warm rush of pleasure.

she threaded her fingers with mine when she came over me again, restraining my arms. The head of her cock aligned with the slick entrance of my body and she pushed inexorably into me. I moaned, shifting to accommodate the heavy surge of her penis.

Lauren’s breath gusted hard and humid against my throat, her big frame trembling as she slid carefully inside me. “You’re so soft and warm. Mine, Camila. You’re mine.”

I wrapped my legs around her hips, welcoming her deeper, feeling her buttocks flex and release against my calves as she demonstrated to my body that it would indeed take her thick length all the way to the root.

With our hands linked, she took my mouth and began to move, gliding in and out with languid skill, the tempo precise and relentless yet smooth and easy. I felt every rock-hard inch of her, felt the unmistakable reiteration that every inch of me was her to possess. she drove the message home repeatedly until I was gasping against her mouth, thrashing restlessly beneath her, my hands bloodless from the strength of my grip on her.

she spoke heated praise and encouragement, telling me how beautiful I was…how perfect I felt to her…how she’d never stop…couldn’t stop. I came with a sharp cry of relief, vibrating with the ecstasy of it, and she was right there with me. Her pace quickened for several slamming thrusts; then she climaxed with a hiss of my name, spilling into me.

I sank lax into the mattress, sweaty and boneless and replete.

“I’m not done,” she whispered darkly, adjusting her knees to increase the force of her thrusts. The pace remained expertly measured, each plunge staking a claim—your body exists to serve me.

Biting my lip, I fought back the sounds of helpless pleasure that might’ve broken the tranquility of the night…and betrayed the frightening depths of emotion I was beginning to feel for Lauren Jauregui.

[ficsandcatsandficsandcats]

Prompt Request

So, here’s the thing, dear reader. This thing kind of took on a life of its own. 

Fandom: The Witcher Pairing: Jaskier x Reader Word Count: 4,558 Rating: M Prompt:  “Hello! I’m glad to find another writer who writes for Jaskier. Can you please write a fic with Jaskier x female reader (perhaps one that is sweet and kind, but insecure about herself) that is both got fluff and angst with the prompts “Don’t be scared, I’m right here.” + “You’ve shown me what love can feel like.” + “I love you. You are what matters to me.” + “Can I kiss you?” + “Are you scared?” + "I can’t believe you’re carrying my child.” + “Shh, don’t worry, I’ll take very good care of you.” a/n: Reader and Jaskier are in an arranged marriage and end up falling in love. There are little breaks between parts to denote time passing. How much time? Who knows. But time! I hope that this is ok and that you like it and that you aren’t 96 by the time you finish reading it. For better or worse, here it is. 

It was the happiest day of your life. That’s what they told you, anyway. That’s what you’d always hoped it would be. Everything about the moment was like something from a dream. You, standing in a simple white gown with a crown of buttercups on your head. The man standing in front of you was handsome, with sparkling blue eyes and rich, chestnut hair. He smiled at you and squeezed your hands, clasped before you, with tenderness. This was everything you wanted your wedding to be, if only you knew the groom.

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate the union of Y/F/N and Julian Alfred Pankratz. May their union provide happiness and bounty for both of their houses,” the priest declared, intoning the words with solemnity suiting the business merger this wedding essentially was. The man named Julian smiled at you but you could see a tinge of nervousness in his eyes as well. It helped you feel less alone.

“The groom has requested to provide vows of his own writing. He may speak them now,” the priest said. You’re surprised to hear this, wondering what this stranger could have to say to you. He squeezed your hands tighter and though a crowd was gathered around you (including many weeping ladies sitting on the groom’s side of the chapel), he only had eyes for you.

“It is no secret that this wedding is… complicated. I have only known you for a short time. Indeed, I only laid eyes on you as you walked down the aisle. I cannot speak to your interests, your tastes, or even your favorite color. I do not pretend to possess the knowledge to make you happy but I can promise you this; I will treat you with respect and kindness and I will do my utmost to make the best of this for the both of us, if you will allow me to.”

If you had to be forced into a political marriage, you’re happy at least that you have ended up with someone kind.

“Y/N, repeat after me…” the priest begins but you stop him.

“Actually, I would also like to recite my own vows,” you say, surprising yourself. You look back at your almost-husband and take a deep breath.

“I have heard you are quite the wordsmith so I won’t spend too much time trying to impress you here but I wanted to say that I offer in turn respect and kindness and also a really good loaf of bread.”

He laughs and you feel a smile break across your face as well and you both stay focused on each other as the rest of the formalities are read. When the moment comes that the priest announces you man and wife, your new husband leans forward and you can feel your heart in your throat.

“Can I kiss you?” he asks, a whisper’s breadth from your lips.

“I mean, that’s what we do now isn’t it?” you ask, feeling awkward under the watchful eye of the crowd around you.

“Not necessarily. Not unless you say so,” he says firmly. You know that he means it and that you don’t need a kiss to complete the arrangement, at this point you have both held up your sides of the bargain and your families are wealthier with new trades.

“Yes,” you say decisively. He smiles and pulls you in closer and his mouth is soft and tender on yours. It’s a sweet kiss, but not chaste, his teeth gently nipping at your bottom lip as you pull apart, giving you a wink as he does.

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“My name is Jaskier, by the way. Well, it is Julian Alfred Pankratz but everyone calls me Jaskier. Everyone but my family but fuck ‘em.”

The words slip out with a slight slur, the result of the wine you’ve both been drinking. You’d gone to the after-wedding feast for appearance’s sake but he’d snuck you both out with a plate of cheese and meats and a bottle of wine to escape the pomp and circumstance. You were grateful for the opportunity to get to know your husband. Crowds always made you nervous anyway. Jaskier had pulled off the stifling doublet and undone the buttons on his undershirt in a way that you thought should shock you until you remembered that you were married now. At some point you had placed the flower crown on Jaskier’s head and he left it on, looking like some sort of fae being that was put on this earth to save or damn you and you weren’t sure if you cared which it was.

“I’m not feeling very charitable towards my family either,” you say in response to his outburst, the closest you’ve come to openly expressing how you felt about being forced into a marriage to a stranger.

“Oh come on you can do better than that,” Jaskier goads.

“No I mean, I understand where they’re coming from. I’m their only daughter and one does have to consider the future…”

“Come on darling let’s not start this false marriage with more lies. I recognize that I’m a hell of a catch to get but surely somewhere deep inside of you there is some anger over this. You could have married anyone you pleased but you get saddled with a stranger. I could have been 85 years old or had a humpback or, or, or been Valdo Marx for god’s sakes!” Jaskier exclaims. His fervent anger makes you laugh but also makes you bold.

“It was….”

“Yes?” Jaskier says encouragingly, gesturing with the empty goblet in his hand.

“Well I must admit…”

“Go on,” he urges.

“It was damned disgusting,” you finally blurt out, half-shocked at your own temerity.

“Yes! More! Keep going!” Jaskier insists, rising unsteadily to his feet to cheer you on with more gusto.

“For all of my life leading up this I have done everything they’ve asked. I’ve been an excellent pupil, I’ve attended every stupid event even though I couldn’t have cared less, I have sacrificed and tried to be a good daughter and carried this stupid legacy and I don’t know what I expected but… but they could have at least talked to me! They could have asked me how I felt, they could have pretended to give a shit. They could have tried to care, I deserved that at least, didn’t I?” your anger turns to bitter sadness and Jaskier stops pumping his fists when he sees your shoulders start to shake with stifled sobs.

“Oh no, oh bollocks, no please don’t, hey,” he crouches next to you and pulls you into a hug you’re too upset to resist. His arms are strong and he offers quiet, comforting words in your ear as you cry into his chest, your face pressing up against the soft linen of his shirt and the patch of dark hair beneath.

“Shhh, don’t worry. I’ll take good care of you. I know we didn’t choose this but you’re not in this alone, I promise,” he murmurs the words into the top of your head as one hand rubs soothing circles into your back. He holds you long after the tears dry and you fall asleep curled around each other.

 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Your life falls into a sort of rhythm. He introduces you to Geralt who immediately rejects adding you to their adventures until Jaskier makes him try your bread. You hadn’t been lying about the promise, having honed your craft through years of baking to cope with the feelings you were forced to repress. He begrudgingly acquiesced to you joining them on very specific journeys for very specific lengths of time but despite himself you grow on him. You and Jaskier also grow to know each other better. Before long he knows that your favorite color is (Y/F/C) and you learn more of his life as a bard. At first you were nervous about going to the inns with him as he performed, especially when he would flirt and sing directly to you, but he always seemed to sense when you were too uncomfortable and would turn his attention back on the rest of the crowd. In time that began to bother you as well but you didn’t examine those feelings, trying hard to enjoy the relative peace you had.

At first you didn’t mind when Jaskier would go on his long journeys and you even grew to enjoy your solitude in the little house your parents had given the two of you as a wedding present. It was easily the most modest of your properties, but you didn’t care, you reveled in the ability to make a space your own. As time went on, the longer Jaskier was away you grew to wish there were more signs of him around. He didn’t possess much, bringing with him only clothes and the lute he took with him on his journeys. When he came back he would tell you all about his journeys and perform his new songs for you and you would provide him with a sampling of what you’ve done with your baking and pottery and the other things you did to fill your time. He was usually back after a few weeks but one night Geralt came with word that he would be leaving for much longer, at least a month, and while the words weren’t directly spoken you could tell that there was no guarantee they would both be coming back.

“Are you scared?” you asked Jaskier after Geralt had left ostensibly to tend to Roach but truly to give them space to talk.

“A little,” he confessed, “But I must go, you understand.”

You bite your lip and he saw you warring with some emotion he couldn’t place.

“Y/N?” he asked, “Come on, talk to me.”

“It’s just… what if you don’t come back?” you ask.

“Don’t let Geralt scare you, he always makes things sound worse than they truly are. I will be back. I made you a promise and I intend to keep it,” he says.

“But what if you can’t?” you insist.

“Well… then everything I own is passed to you and you could be your own woman again. I mean, we don’t really prevent each other from living our lives but you could find someone to fall in love with and have children and whatever else people do,” he doesn’t look at you as he says this and you’re quick to wipe away the tears that come up as he speaks. He glances back up at you and brushes the last trace of wetness from your cheeks.

“Don’t be scared,” he insists, “I’m right here.”

He pulls you in for a hug and holds you, much as he did your wedding night, and you squeeze back as hard as you can as though you can keep him chained to you through the embrace. You look up to say something else and your lips brush by accident, the first they’ve touched since the kiss on the altar. He wordlessly pulls you in again and deepens the kiss, running a hand through your hair as he tentatively brushes tongue against your lips. You part them in response and shift in his arms til you’re straddling him, arms wrapping back around his neck. His hands trace the contours of your body through the clothes and settle on your hips. You arch against him and feel him beneath you, hard and wanting. The pressure of your body pressing against him pulls a moan from his lips and the sound seems to break through the moment, pulling him back to earth. He reluctantly pulls back from the kiss and for a moment you sit there, panting and uncertain.

“You have a long journey tomorrow,” you whisper when the silence grows too long, “I should let you rest.” “Y/N…” he begins but you slide off of him and hurry to the kitchen, eager to find a way to rid yourself of the energy and emotions that have gotten away with you. Jaskier thinks about following, wants nothing more than to finish what you’d both started, but he leaves tomorrow, and you were right. He may not come back. And he could never forgive himself if he got you with child and then died to leave you to care for it alone.

 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

75 loaves of bread, 19 dozen cookies, and 14 pies later, Jaskier comes back home.

You’re sitting by the hearth reading when you think you hear it, that familiar strumming of a lute in the distance. Then you hear an unmistakable voice and you jolt to your feet, running to the door. You can see him walking, still a block away and you keep running. When he sees you he stops singing and places the lute on his back. By the time he’s got his strapped on you’ve tackled him in a hug that nearly knocks him off of his feet and he lifts you slightly off the ground, spinning you in a little circle as he does.

“You’re home,” you say.

“I’m home,” he echoes, one hand brushing the side of your face and cupping your chin, “And I have so much to tell you.”

You hold hands as you walk back to the house and he begins to tell you about the journeys he and Geralt have been on. You’re only half paying attention as he speaks, no story of dragons or mythical artifacts capable of competing with the sight of him finally in front of you again, the sound of his voice and the feeling of his hand in yours. Over bread he tells you about his dilemma over writing a series of songs or one very epic song to capture the tale. By the time night has fallen you’re both seated in front of the fire, your head on his shoulder. You notice his fingers twitching and you can tell there’s something left unsaid.

“Jaskier?”

“Hmm?”

“What is it?”

“What is what?” he asks, the innocence in his voice forced. You sit up and level a look at him.

“Don’t do that. Don’t pretend nothing’s wrong. We’ve never lied to each other, don’t start now,” you say. He sighs and you feel your heart pounding in your chest as you think about what he may be about to say. He’s in love with someone? He’s cursed and dying? He isn’t really here and this is just a dream and soon you will wake up alone in your bed, the right side cold and empty?

“It’s foolish really, it’s nothing to be worried about,” he says.

“Then tell me what it is,” you urge, trying to soften the demand with a smile.

“Being out there with Geralt for so long… well, it made me realize some things,” he says. Your heart stops and you fight the urge to tell him to stop, to let you live in the fantasy you hadn’t realized you’d fallen into where somehow he did fall in love with you and this marriage that started as a contract can become more.

“I thought a lot about my time here in this house. With you. I thought about the little flecks of paint on your fingers and the smudges of flour in your cheeks. I thought about that little snorting sound you make in your sleep…”

Your face burns bright red as he lists your faults. Countesses never snorted; you were almost certain.

“I thought about the way it feels when you listen to my stories, truly listen to them. Not because you’re paying me for them or because I’m forcing them on you. The way you just… listen to me. I have written so many songs about it but I think, maybe, I’ve never felt it like this before,” he takes a deep breath and turns to face you, the soft, blue eyes staring into yours intently as he speaks again, “You’ve shown me what love can feel like.”

It takes a moment for the words to sink in and when they have you’re still not sure how to feel. Making someone feel loved doesn’t mean they love you back. You had learned that the hard way from your parents to your sparse attempts at romance in the past. He looks at you anxiously, waiting to see what you will say but the words fail you like a curse striking you mute.

“Ah,” he says after a while, turning back to face the fire.

“No, Jaskier,” you begin but he stands and takes a deep breath, shaking his head and forcing on a smile. It’s a performance you’ve seen many times before and the first time he’s ever turned it on you.

“Please, Y/N, it’s probably for the best,” he says.

“No but you don’t understand,” you continue.

“Heartbreak is good for the songs, really. And we never made any promises to each other. Not any real ones at least. Not ones that matter.”

The words break your heart and anger you at the same time. You’ve spent a lifetime letting people tell you how you feel or what is best but not Jaskier. Never him.

“Julian Alfred Pankratz shut up and listen,” you snap, standing to meet him eye to eye. He’s visibly taken aback, eyes going wide in shock, but he stays quiet.

“Before you go too deeply into a pity party, I would like the opportunity to actually speak for myself. How dare you say those promises didn’t matter? When from the very start we have spoken honestly and fairly to each other? Sure, the marriage wasn’t sincere, but the vows were. Respect and kindness and, and, and bread! And more than that, more than anything we could have promised each other that day, love. I love you. You are what matters to me. I’m sorry if that ruins your career plans but you’ll just have to adapt!”

The pair of you stand in stunned silence as your words resonate and then you are pulled into his arms as his lips hungrily seek yours. You begin tearing at each other’s clothes, a trail of fabric leading to the bedroom. Once inside his gestures slow a little and when you impatiently rip at the buttons on your dress he halts your hands with his and his nimble fingers slip through them with ease, his eyes hungrily staring into yours as he works. He’s shirtless now and you let your gaze fall to take in the lean, corded muscles in his shoulders and arms, the toned definition of his body. You run your hands along the veins in his neck, down to the definition of his shoulder blades, across the collar bones, down into the hair on his chest which is soft and coarse all at once to the touch. The dress falls away and you feel the cold air of the room hit your exposed skin, shocking you to the fact of your nakedness and making you lose whatever courage you had summoned in your anger and passion. He sees your eyes fall away and the blush rise in your cheeks and he gently lifts your chin back up to meet his eyes.

“What is it, love?” he asks, the word moments before unspoken now falling casually and naturally from his lips.

“I’ve never… I don’t share your… experience,” you admit.

“Well I hardly find that shocking. I am very, very experienced,” he says with a roguish wink. You laugh nervously and he runs a hand along your arm, barely grazing your breasts which are taut and eager for his touch.

“How about this time I take the lead. If I do something that you don’t like, you tell me and it stops immediately,” he says.

“What if you’re enjoying it?” you ask.

“I will never enjoy something if you’re not enjoying it too. Please tell me. And next time, if, and gods I pray and hope there will be a next time if I don’t utterly cock this up, you can take charge. Does that sound good?” he asks. You nod but he shakes his head, leaning down to give you a long, lingering kiss.

“I need to hear you say the words,” he murmurs against your chin.

“That sounds good,” you answer. He smiles at you and pulls you in for another kiss, his hands bolder in his exploration, brushing against your breasts before lowering his mouth to kiss and caress them with his tongue. You’re quiet at first, not intentionally but because the sensations are new and you struggle to breath through them. You see him looking up at you, watching your face as you react, taking his cues from your body. A hand reaches lower and you part your legs for him. He finds you wet and makes a satisfied, throaty sound as he brushes a finger lightly against the folds. You gasp and he looks back up for confirmation.

“Yes, do that again,” you say. He presses in further, two fingers roaming the length of you and circling the top. You grip his hair and he continues the same rhythm.

“Do you like this?” he asks, not because he isn’t sure but because he loves to hear you try to speak when he has you like this, wet and needy and at his mercy.

“Y-yes,” you reply. “Fuck.”

“Such dirty language, Y/N, am I a bad influence?” he teases as he slides one finger gently inside of you. You can’t respond, struggling between your need to breathe and the effect his hands have on you.

“You feel ready for me, Y/N. Do you want more?” he asks.

“I want everything,” you say breathlessly. He stands, pulling his hands away despite your whine of protest and he gently leans you back over the bed. He pulls off the last of his clothing until he is just as naked and you can see the proof of his arousal.

“Is it… odd to think a penis is beautiful?” you wonder aloud. He laughs and shakes his head.

“Oh god I love you,” he says, eyes shining brightly as he stares at you in wonder.

“Prove it,” you say, a playful challenge. His eyes darken and he climbs on top of you and you can feel the delicious weight of him, the lean, strong body and the weight of his desire pressed up against your thigh.

“You may have heard that this hurts but I’m going to tell you a secret; it shouldn’t. If it starts to hurt, tell me. I want every part of this to be as exquisite for you as it possibly can be,” he whispers, warm breath tickling your ear. You nod in agreement and then, when he doesn’t move, you agree out loud. He shifts his weight around and you can feel the tip of him brushing against your entrance gently. He slides it through in increments, halting when he feels resistance until he feels you relax beneath him once more. His kisses are softer than before but deeper as well. Before long he is fully sheathed inside of you. He rests his forehead against yours, holding perfectly still to let you adjust to the feeling until you tentatively shift your hips beneath him eliciting a soft moan. He follows your lead, gently rocking himself in and out of you, his movements slow and thorough and forcing soft gasps of pleasure from your lips. You urge him to go faster and he matches your motions, angling with his cock the way he did with his fingers, following the sounds you make and the look on your face until he finds exactly where you need him. You come apart underneath him and the feeling of your release spurs his own, buried deep inside of you where he stays until you both have caught your breath.

“All in all,” he says once he’s curled up by your side, “Marriage isn’t that bad.”

The sound of your laughter lulls him to sleep.

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Jaskier stays around for a while after this but before too much time has passed Geralt returns with word of a nearby job. He is wary about bringing you, insistently so in a way that almost hurts your feelings, but he finally relents. He asks you to ride Roach, an action that drives Jaskier nearly apoplectic and the trip to the neighboring town is spent with protests about injustice and the bonds of friendship that are meant to rise beyond that of romance. The job is quick and Jaskier is able to perform one in the series of songs about his prior adventures at the inn while you and Geralt eat.

“Does he know?” Geralt asks, yellow eyes seeking yours.

“Does he know what?” you ask.

“Hmm,” is all he says in answer before looking back down at his meal.

“What?” you insist.

“It might not be my place to say,” he says.

“Well you’ve already said this much you might as well keep going,” you say. You’ve grown much more assertive since marrying Jaskier and Geralt can’t help me pleased by it, even if it is inconvenient for him at this moment.

“You’re with child,” he says bluntly, popping a piece of bread in his mouth as he does. You stare at him blankly.

“What?” you ask.

“What?” Jaskier asks, suddenly reappearing behind his friend and reaching for your ale to take a drink between songs.

“I…” you look to Geralt for help but he gives you a look that tells you you’re on your own. Coward.

“I’ll tell you after your set,” you say.

“Is something wrong?” Jaskier asks, worry creasing his brow. “Y/N, tell me.”

“Ok. Well. And this might be wrong because frankly I don’t know how he would know, though it would make sense…” you trail off as you try to remember if your courses were due yet. Jaskier watches you anxiously and you know you have to put him out of his misery.

“He says that I’m… pregnant,” you say. You watch Jaskier’s face carefully and you can see the moment what you’ve said resonates. His eyes light up and he gives a little incredulous laugh.

“You are? With me?”

You scoff.

“No, Jaskier, with a bloody goat. Yes with you,” you say. He leans over the table to kiss you, knocking over the ale and squashing Geralt’s meal with his knee but the witcher doesn’t say anything and simply stands and walks away to leave you your moment. Jaskier cradles your face in his hands and happy tears run down his face.

"I can’t believe you’re carrying my child,” he says, his voice awed and filled with love.

“Well you’ve got a few months to come around to it,” you joke.

“I will be the best father and I will love this child with every ounce of my being. I will write them a litany of songs that would make the angels weep with the love I hold for them and their mother,” you smile at the dramatics that come of Jaskier’s emotions and press your foreheads together.

“I’m glad this will be good for business,” you tease.

“This is the best thing. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me,” he says. And for once, without reservation or fear, you believe him.

[pagingevilspawn]

Loving You Is A Losing Game- chapter two

hey guys, here’s chapter two of LYIALG! won’t make this too long, i just hope that everyone had a great thanksgiving (or just a great thursday to lots of you!) and i hope you guys like this chapter. it’s probably a bit boring, but... hey, i write, i decide lol. if anyone is confused, this story takes place after 5x24, but before the merger. 

~*~

"i'm still fixing all the cracks"

~*~

"yeah. fuck."

____

the two sit in silence for god know how long. now matter how many times they go over it in their minds, it's still unbelievable to them, they cheated on their spouses. who the hell does that? who simply decides that who they married wasn't worth it and screws the first person they find attractive once they're alone? horrible people, that's who, and that's what they felt like right now. horrible freaking people.

at this point they weren't even sure why they were still in the room together. maybe it was the fact that they could dwell in their acts of adultery together, maybe they just found the presence of the other just enough to fill the void of loneliness that had never seemed to leave them, no matter what they did or who they were with. all they knew was that simply sitting there, on the cold tile floor multiple feet apart, made what they did a little more bearable for themselves, seeing the other look just as miserable about it as they did.

"we're horrible people." brooke mutters, mustering up the courage to sit and stand up groggily from her fetal position on the floor. she turns on the faucet and ducks her head under it, collecting the water in her mouth before swishing it around and then spitting it into the sink, leaving her mouth to feel much better than it did before, thanks to the fact that remnants of beer and tequila no longer seemed to coat the roof of her tongue and mouth.

"yeah, we are." alex agrees. it was the first time the girl had truly listened to him speak, and he had a deep voice, a bit of a gruffness behind it, but that might just be because of the hangover. she takes a good look at the guy, since she didn't have the opportunity to earlier.

he only had on a pair of boxers before he entered the bathroom and was currently the same now, but other than that he was completely bare. he was well built with a six pack and nice arm muscles. his eyes were a dark brown with a hint of green, and he had a sharp jawline. his hair was cut short, and he had a barely-there stubble on his face. a shiny gold wedding band sat on his left ring finger, which he fiddled with unconsciously.

brooke opens and closes her mouth a few times, nothing seeming to come out for a good minute. "did- did we think that we were our partners? maybe?" she suggests lamely, not missing the way the guy she now knew as alex scanned over her briefly.

"definitely not." he mutters, huffing out a breath as he leans back against the wall, one knee to his chest as the other lays straight out in front of him. "my wife is tall, blonde, and has dark brown eyes. you're like... the complete opposite of her."

"sounds like a model." brooke mumbles, a small smile on her face, attempting to crack a joke to ease the situation. oh who the fuck was she kidding? there was no way to ease this situation.

"she was. in med school, i mean. did a bunch of bethany whisper stuff." alex shrugs, missing the way the girl's jaw practically drops.

"damn." she mutters. she looks at alex a bit more, squinting her eyes at him, which doesn't go unnoticed by the man.

he turns and looks sharply at her, "what?" he gruffs out, trying his best to intimidate the younger woman, but to his surprise she doesn't even flinch. it was like she was used to sudden behavior changes.

brooke lips her lips, trying her best to form her thoughts as complete sentences. "you don't even really, i mean- you don't look like my husband... you just- look like my type." she settles on.

alex smirks the slightest bit, "your type?" he teases lightly, making fun of the way she sounded a bit like a middle school girl gossiping about the new boy in the english class.

she glares at him, "shut up."

she wasn't lying though, the man was her type. and by her type she meant dark hair and dark eyes. but she supposed that also meant over half of the male population, so she wouldn't consider him all that special.

alex chuckles softly, not trying to make his headache any worse than it was. he peers through the bathroom doorway, glancing at the clock on the hotel's nightstand, doing a double take after he turns around for a second time, hoping he was just seeing things wrong.

"shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit." he curses out, abruptly standing up from his place on the floor, pulling brooke up with him. she lets out a groan in protest at the quick moment, but ultimately makes her way back into the room.

alex starts shoving on his jeans, looking at brooke as he does so. "you're here for the pre-med conference right?" he asks, making her nod.

"well, so am i, and my mentor needs me to help her with her speech and all that crap at nine thirty, and right now it's nine eighteen. and she goes on at nine forty-five" he says, making her nod. she still didn't quite get why that involved her though.

noticing her confusion he speaks up, "my mentor is arizona robbins." he says simply, making the girl go wide eyed.

"holy shit." she whispers. no way in hell would she wouldn't go to a lecture by the arizona robbins, who was practically a pediatric surgeon god.  

alex nods, "yeah, and i'm guessing you don't want to miss that." he states, making the girl bob her head up and down.

"y-yeah, thank you." she stutters out, going to her suitcase and quickly grabbing an outfit while she internally thanks the universe that they ended up back in her room at the end of the night and not his.

she hears the door to the hotel room open and him start to leave, before the footsteps stop, causing her to turn around. "i just want to say..." he trails off, ignoring his internal arguments from earlier, "i'm sorry. i'm really sorry, and if this is making you feel even half as guilty as i am... then i'm even more sorry." he says sympathetically, not missing the way her eyes fill with tears.

"don't be." she whispers, watching as the man nods and shuts the door behind him.

it was then she started to let the tears fall.

god, guilty.

that's all she was able to feel.

she felt guilty that she cheated on her husband. she felt guilty that she helped the man cheat on his wife. she felt guilty that she found the man she cheated with attractive. she felt guilty that alex apologized for what happened as if it was his fault. because it was her fault right? that's what paul would say.

he would say that it was her fault, which... it made sense that it was right? right. because that's what paul would say. she learned not to question him over the past year, the look in his eyes that he got when she would say something 'wrong' was a bit scary to her, but she shrugged it off every time, since the little flame always disappeared as quickly as it appeared.

but the guilt. oh, it was horrible. it was coursing through her veins like a rapid river, having no sense of direction as it splashed inside of brooke, coating her skin and organs in its treacherous layer of pain.

who knew feeling guilty could be so painful? she didn't. she had no idea what to do. was she supposed to tell paul? to tell her husband that she broke their sacred vows after only being married for three months? she loved him, oh, she loved him so much. he was so charming and sweet and looked at her like she was a beautiful rose, blooming fresh out of the ground. how was she supposed to let the man she loved know that she cheated? gone would be the way he looked at her like the reddest rose in the garden, and instead he would look at her like she had just told him that his father had died. no, she couldn't do that.

maybe it was selfish, actually, she knew it was selfish. because telling him would only be a way to make herself feel less guilty, but at the same time, not telling him was also selfish. it would be selfish in the way that she didn't want to see him hurt. how could she bear to see him hurt? after everything, she couldn't hurt him. he gave her food, a house, nice clothes, gifts, love. he gave her everything, she couldn't hurt him.

so she decided then, paul wouldn't know. it would be a secret, a secret that she knew for a fact would eat her up alive, but she knew it would be better than telling him. he'd been getting angrier lately, and she knew it was probably just a phase, but it was a phase she wasn't really liking much so far. she assumed that that's what happened after you get married. you are finally able to show all of the good, the bad, and the ugly. but it's okay, she can deal with a bit of ugly. that's what marriage is for anyways, sticking by your partner through everything.

she shakes it off. no matter how badly she felt, paul couldn't know. it was a one time thing. it would never happen again. she would never see this man again. it was a one time thing.

____

alex karev walked out of the room with his head down low, focusing on leather shoes he spent a crap ton of money on. he felt guilty. his wife had cancer and was currently in remission, and all he can do is go off and screw someone.

but he felt guilty for cheating on his wife, and for finding the woman that he cheated with hot. that was the worst feeling of all. that after everything she was just as attractive to him as she would've been if he wasn't married. how messed up was that?

he wasn't this guy anymore. he had hardly looked any other woman's way since he had been with izzie. how could he? she was perfect. she was beautiful and kind and funny. and he loved her. so how could he just throw all that away like it was nothing?

but he knew he couldn't tell her. she didn't deserve the pain that it would bring her. she had been through enough in her life. she had just beat cancer for god's sake, with a five percent chance of survival! she was so fucking strong. he admired izzie. she fought like hell and she pulled through. she didn't deserve to take another hit. especially not one front the husband who promised to love her and stay loyal to her through everything.

for better or worse. in sickness and in health. thats what the vows were right? so why the hell couldn't he do one god damn thing in his life right? why couldn't he keep the most important promise to the woman he loved? was he really that screwed up? was he really that terrible? why did he always have to screw himself out of everything good? and this time, he literally screwed himself out of it.

alex shrugs off his thoughts as he makes his way to his room on the seventh floor, quickly taking a shower and brushing his teeth, styling his hair to the best of his ability with the small amount of gel he had left, he made a mental note to pick some up when he got back to seattle. he made sure to use extra deodorant and the tiniest hint of a cologne he had for special occasions, the last thing he needed was robbins smelling any leftover alcohol on him. he would never get on her good side then.

he changes into a pair of black slacks and a button up white shirt. he tries to put on a dark blue tie but ultimately gives up after a multitude of half assed attempts, shoving it into his pocket gruffly. usually meredith did them for him.

he grumbles something incoherently under his breath as he grabs his phone from his nightstand, where he plugged it into charge a few minutes before. he shoves the device into his pocket as he makes his way out the door, immediately bumping into the last person he wanted to see at the moment.

"karev!" arizona chirps, her voice not only happy and cheerful, but loud too, making alex internally wince. he didn't need more loud noises right now, he had just popped a couple of aspirins and was still waiting for them to kick in.

but still, he forces a crooked half smile, "hey robbins." alex knew he needed to be on her good side. he had been getting really interested in peds lately, but arizona didn't think he would be good in it, meaning she was still skeptical. but he loved it. it was so... intense. and hardcore. heartbreaking, at times, of course. nothing was worse than losing a child patient, but that only made the successes that much more valuable.

with peds, he felt something. he liked to get to know his patients and make up random handshakes with them. but he didn't like kids though. don't think he did. he definitely didn't. he just admired those kids in the peds ward. they were all fighters in a fun sized package, and don't even get him started on the babies in the NICU.

those were the hardest fighters in the hospital, no question there. these tiny little lives battled so hard, they fought their absolute hardest from the second they were born, and for that, he had to admire them. how could he not?

the point was that he needed robbins to like him. actually, he really needed robbins to like him, because she was the best, and he wanted to learn from the best. he would do everything he possibly could to make sure he became the surgeon he wanted to be, the surgeon he left iowa to be. he practically had to beg robbins to let him join her, but that was okay, he didn't mind. he was determined. normally a fellow would be chosen to do lectures like these, but the blonde decided that she wanted to have a resident come with her this time, since they had been in med-school no too long ago. she wanted someone who could still relate to the pupils on a personal level.

arizona takes a glance over at him, her eyes narrowing at him a bit, "you look like crap." she deadpans.

alex purses his lips and runs a hand through his hair, temporarily forgetting that he had gel in it, which causes his finger to get stuck in a strand, making him wince as he pulls it through. "didn't sleep too well."

which was a lie. which made him feel guilty. he didn't necessarily feel guilty about lie, he felt guilty that his lie wasn't true. which he supposed, was the point of a lie... but still. the truth was, he couldn't remember the last time he had slept that well.

he shakes off his thoughts, thanking the universe the arizona looked to believe him and gives him a nod of understanding before she rattles on about her speech.

it was a one time thing. it would never happen again. he would never see this woman again. it was a one time thing.

____

[sobasluuurp]

Holy shit. I knew Shigaraki leveled the city, but I didn’t think he’d made an entire crater. Look at the size of that thing! My only consolation is that his quirk seemed to hurt him when he used it on that scale. Maybe that’ll stop him from going all out like this too often.

Just as I thought: the League covered its tracks in order to protect their vigilante-eque public image and advance the MLA’s agenda. The image of a civilian army using their quirks to fight for their lives is certain to sway some of the public’s perception of quirk regulation.

My first reaction to this was to say that Dabi didn’t exactly do anything either, but then I remembered that he fought so hard with Geten his skin started smoking. It’s just that we didn’t get to see much of the fight.

How long do you think it’s gonna be until we find out that Touya also happened to hate fish? Horikoshi wouldn’t draw it if it didn’t serve some purpose.

Not gonna lie, this freaked me out for a second. And then it hit me with the feels. Twice is so sweet. The fact that he put together an altar for clone!Toga and is sincerely mourning her makes me like him even more.

(And I’m going to choose not to think about the fact that he probably had this reaction because of watching himself die so many times.)

“Quit telling people I’m dead!” -- Toga Himiko, 2019

It must’ve been because there was so much else going on in her fight against Curious, but I didn’t notice her getting such a bad eye injury? It would be funny if it’s not actually that bad but she wants the eye patch for the aesthetic. Either way, it suits her.

Oh no, poor Twice 😢

I hope he’s able to work through this. If it gets much worse it might interfere with his ability to fight. Especially if he looses control of his body, like when he kicked the altar. I’m glad his problems weren’t magically fixed (it helps prove that Endeavor’s “redemption” won’t be easy), but I am curious about why it made him worse? Maybe we’ll find out at some point.

The LOV/MLA merger was always interesting from a plot perspective, but now I’m excited to see all these new character dynamics too!

Re-Destro’s wheelchair is seriously slick. I wonder if Tensei and Ragdoll could get one?

Shigaraki in a fur coat just feels so right, even if it does make him itchy. I wonder if it’s really the coat, or if something about this merger is messing with his emotions.

Also, it looks like our predictions were correct. He does have mechanical fingers now! Though it looks more clunky than I expected. Maybe he’ll get an upgrade at some point.

If we are to take this symbolically, then Shigaraki still isn’t completely liberated from his past. Which is good because it means he still has room to grow. I wonder if one day he’ll trash this hand too, and if so if that means redemption or complete corruption

Why does Giran look so uncomfortable here? It’s totally understandable if he’s dealing with the trauma of having to interact with his captors, but I feel like since Horikoshi took the time to draw it for us it must mean something more plot wise. Is this going to continue to be a problem for him? Are there any other factors here?

Honestly god bless Re-Destro for being so pure. I discussed his intentions a while back but now it’s become clear that he really is just an idealist.

Also, props for the shiny forehead. Aoyama would approve.

Bro chill!! I can’t tell if he’s so intense because he’s trying to push through a speech he doesn’t want to make or if he really is that passionate about quirk liberation. Either way he made me laugh.

It took me a minute to realize that the person next to Skeptic was Geten (she kind of looks like Curious). It’s interesting that they revealed her face so casually -- I’m assuming this means that we don’t need to worry about secret identities as much anymore, since she’s so casual about letting herself be seen.

Also this panel confirms for me that Re-Destro isn’t happy to be in this situation, even if he does respect Shigaraki. Look how down he is! Also, in a previous panel we could see him fiddling with his hands as if he were nervous.

Confirmation that Hawks is good at heart! I never really doubted it, but it’s still nice to see. I’m inclined to believe that Best Jeanist’s death was staged.

I love it when Horikoshi draws Shigaraki’s hair without the outlines. I wonder if it’s because his hair is slowly turning white? if so, why isn’t it drawn like this in every panel?

And here we learn that Shigaraki has to accomplish one more thing before receiving the Doctor’s gift. Since the scene immediately cuts to Dabi approaching Hawks, I’m assuming that task involves some Very Not Nice Things. Which is made even worse for the fact that Hawks is the only hero who knows what’s going on, and, as he says in this final panel, the whole country is basically fucked. Things have never looked good for Hawks, but now I’m seriously hoping he at least gets the chance to pass his message along before he meets his fate (assuming he does die, which I’d rather he not).

What a fascinating chapter! It carries a sense of foreboding and tension that has me on the edge of my seat waiting for the other shoe to drop. This arc has set a new pace and sense of urgency for the overarching plot, and I have a feeling we’re going to be seeing more and more dire consequences from this point forward. Although it’s sad we don’t get to see the kids again just yet, I welcome the opportunity to flush out the story from different angles, which is definitely what we’re getting here.

Also, for anyone wondering why I didn’t mention the name change: I’m waiting for the VIZ translation for that. The translation I’m reading refers to the MLA as the Superpower Liberation Army, so I have a feeling their translation of the new name might be wrong to.

What do you think of this format? It’s the first time I’ve tried doing a single long post instead of a bunch of smaller ones. Let me know if you have an opinion!

[dahniwitchoflight]

Candy 15-17

Alright I know this is supposed to be sad but this feel so ridiculous it’s funny

“He ventures a glance at Dave, who is at the front of the line carrying a smaller casket containing Dirk’s decapitated head. “

why is there a seperate casket for the head, that’s not what funeral homes do xD

“It would be absurd were it not so tragic, and possibly also predictable.” 

“He looks at Dirk’s casket, sitting diagonally in a hole in the floor and popped about 13% of the way open.”

That’s a strangley specific number

Am I to take the imagery of something being diagonal as imagery for a “4″ and then complete it with the 13 to make 413?

Cuz is so, that’s heavy handed and ridiculous probably just as Dirk intended

“ROXY: and give it over to someone whos way more eloquent than me

Dave gets to his feet”

right because Dave is always so eloquent when it comes to delicate emotional matters lol

I don’t know why I’m finding this all so hilarious instead of tragic, maybe because it’s so melodramatic and in a way that feels scripted specifically by Dirk himself

ah, 3 quarters 

3 1/4′s

413 backwards now

“or even worse that he was somehow cosmically fated to become that person no matter what he wanted or did to prevent it “

I’m noticing more and more every time the phrase Cosmically fated is used in some form of Homestuck media its always bringing to mind ideas of Doc Scratch, like he’s the one who said it actually or it’s said in reference to him

so, +1 point to DS = DS again

“Gamzee:  I may not be all up and learned about his life, but I’ve got deep spirital connections to his death.”

yeah you sure do, and we’re not even talking about his decapitation right now aren’t we Gamzee?

This is actually a really solid point that the day “Dirk” died was the day his ultimate self got poisoned through the unholy merger that is Lord English/Caliborn/Gamzee/AR/Equius

So he’s probably been a bastard ever since Lord English started existing, which I mean “I am already here” blahblah means Dirk was very likely like this from the start potentially, but he was probbaly only really a bastard ever since Arquis got sucked into Caliborn/Gamzee

“GAMZEE: ThIs WaS nO cOiNcIdEnCe. It WaS a HiGhEr PoWeR gUiDiNg My PaTh.

GAMZEE: tHeSe PoWeRs MaDe SuRe ThAt I wOuLd Be ThErE, tO rEcEiVe A gReAt WaRrIoR’s FiNaL mEsSaGe, AnD rElAy It To YoU oN tHiS dArK aNd DrEaRy DaY oF dEaTh.

GAMZEE: HoNk!

The clown thrusts his hand somewhere beneath the waistband of his pants and starts obscenely rooting around. He retrieves a piece of paper, crumpled and soaked from the rain outside, and attempts to smooth it out over the lectern. The wet paper breaks apart immediately beneath his oafish clown paws.

GAMZEE: AwWw, ShIzZ. i GuEsS i’Ve GoT tO uP aNd WiNg It!”

yeah that note was probably the last shredded remnants of good dirk since there’s literally no reason to leave a sentimental note like that for his friends, makes sense Gamzee was guided by “a higher power” to grab it and make sure it gets relayed more like ruined to his friends

“KARKAT: THAT WAS HALF A HUNDRED WORDS TO EXPRESS A THREE LETTER SENTIMENT.

KARKAT: I’D SAY HE’S DOING FINE.”

What? How does “I’d say he’s doing fine” translate into “a three letter statement”?

Are they just hamfisting in the threes now or what?

“DAVE: i dunno dude thats

DAVE: a little fucked up actually

JOHN: you think so?

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: dirk was a complicated guy

DAVE: dude obviously had reasons for doing what he did

DAVE: if you go back and just rewrite his decision

DAVE: thats like denying him his personal autonomy

JOHN: huh. i... didn’t think about it that way.“

Yeah if only they’d realize that what Dirk needs is a huge heaping helping of someone pushing back against his dumb decisions for once

Gotta give it to John though, he’s struggling against this drugged up haze so hard, he knows getting married to Roxy isn’t right and tries to think about that

but then he gets caught up in the drugged up candy haze and starts giggling, yeah you guys are gonna be happy alright, happy in a nice little drugged up stupor

lampshaded by John still reaching out to terezi despite being at his human wedding

Aww, trolls don’t have a concept of weddings? well, that makes sense but still

oh man it just keeps happening, this is supposed to be the story where John and Roxy get their love story, but all were actually getting is the faded echoes of what should have been which is apparently John and Terezi

oh god, Jane, jane why did Gamzee have to be your third partner, what the fuck even

I don’t wanna think about Gamzee about in relationships nope this is where I start getting uncomfortable

confirmed jade attempting Blackrom with Karkat, that’s interesting, and she’s bad at it too meaning she must not really have an interest in it

oh wow, she’s really just doing it because she thinks its what Karkat would want isnt she? Girl really is just desperate for love

“Three months later, John is still thinking about his last conversation with Terezi.”

See, this is how you know the JohnRoxy relationship is doomed/not meant to be

John Egbert, lover of Con Air and Nic Cage, has a loving wife and (probably) daughter and NOT ONCE has this narrative shown them OR made the joke, we just absolutely passed over the whole wedding and birth event in one fell swoop of unrequited feelings jam with another woman

Why is Roxy praying? That’s such a weird thing to drop as a small detail, who would she even be praying too?

“What’s bugging him about it is that Roxy didn’t seem to have any suggestions of her own.”

Yeah relationships built on social chameleon-ing aren’t happy for the chameleon either

Yeah John, little bit late to be having this sudden realization that you didn’t actually solve the problem (LE) by running away from it, even if everyone else has accepted that version of events

“ JOHN: you gave me a list of instructions and told me that i had to use my retcon powers to go back to a very specific point in time to defeat lord english when he was still just a kid. “

*THEORY INCOMING KILL BILL SIRENS ACTIVATE*

Wait, is that what Rose said at the beginning? No it isn’t, I remember the bit about John has to go back inside canon and defeat Lord English, I don’t think the method was ever fully explained though, nor the idea that he had to defeat him as a kid, it was never said he had to go back in time, just go back to canon

and that’s not what happened in the Meat timeline either! Nobody went back in time to defeat Caliborn when he was a kid, they just had the big showdown with LE exactly the way Rose is describing that went horribly wrong

this is practically screaming NEITHER Meat or Candy is the true version of events 

Actually yeah, defeating Caliborn really IS the way this should be settled, because it’s also the way that Dirk get saved as well, can’t get his ultimate self tainted if the taint is destroyed before it ever comes into contact with him

also im rereading the prologue now, it’s is NEVER explicitly said that John has to go and defeat lord english’s child form!

She said “you have to go back to canon to defeat LE” NOT go back in time to defeat caliborn

and “you can’t recklessly attack his hulking adult form without the house juju”

not “you can’t attack him as an adult at all” but “you can do that WITHOUT the juju” and describes it being used in the same way that Vriska ended up doing in Meat

yeah, she never mentions any plan to defeat him as a child in the prologue, which probably means Rose only saw a vision of his defeat as an adult as well

It’s gonna be JOHN who gets the idea to go back and kill him as a kid, because that’s how he understood Rose’s instructions!

But this is great, everything is vaguely worded enough that it COULD be applied to a fight against a young caliborn too! but just hasn’t yet!

What if you take the empty cursor and fill it with a young caliborn? instead of unleashing a full one against an adult LE? which proves to be pretty useless in the long run despite Rose’s apparent clouded vision?

Rose even says herself its only purpose is as an empty vessel meant to be filled by something, talk about totally understanding yet missing the point, this is probably what she meant by being unable to see any path beyond the meat or candy routes, she couldnt see the possibility of using the juju on caliborn before everything goes down just like how it was used on John and friends to trap them in there in Meat!

It’s Caliborn’s destined time out spot! Removing him from Canon and from being able to influence it without needing to kill someone who technically hasnt done bad things yet but absolutely will in the future solving the baby adolf problem with Caliborn

Oh man, what if they even trick Caliborn on using it against himself? talk about an earthbound reference, defeat Gigyas (LE) by tricking Pokey (Caliborn)  to trap himself in the "Absolutely Safe Capsule” (House JuJu)

Oh man back on the Candy train though John’s having an absolute breakdown, being infused with that canon retcon power seems to be the only thing preserving his ability to care about stuff beyond this happy drugged up paradise

Earth C has become Homestuck’s Ba Sing Se

“ He braces himself, as if splashing an imaginary glass of cold water in his own face, and reminds himself once again that he has a wonderful life. A perfect life. He’s HAPPY, god damn it.”

You really aren’t John, this is very clear, dousing yourself with some more Void to try and drown that out ain’t helping

[bangchanshehe]

The Trespasser pt. 3 (M)

You were on top of the world with the new title of leader of your family’s clan. You were the strongest clan in all of the orient and you were proud. But your family feels that there are threats still lurking around making you a target. When they introduce you to a potential man for a business and marriage merger will it help your clan or make matters worse?

Word count: 5k

Wonho x Reader, Shownu x Reader, Jooheon x Reader

The next day you were up early, going into your office to do research on Hoseok and his family. You didn’t care if your mom or dad recommended them, the whole thing was fishy and you didn’t want to rely on anyone’s instinct instead of your own. You turned on your computer and opened up a document to take notes, and dug around for any rumors or private posts that can be tracked down. But after an hour and a half of finding nothing you decided to give up and make a cup of coffee.

You went into the kitchen and turned on the Keurig listening to the sounds of the water heating up as you pulled out a mug, creamer and sugar. Today you didn’t have a strict schedule to adhere to so you decided to train a little and catch up on some things to do around the house. You made a mental note of all things that you wanted to accomplish today as you added to your coffee, making it taste just the way you like it.

First things first, I need to stop by the warehouse to take inventory. Secondly, I need to check on the progress of the new mules and shops. While they sounded like easy tasks it could easily end up being a task that took all day long. But since you now have a potential new addition to the clan you wanted to make sure that things were extra tight. You didn’t want to leave room for any mistakes or blind spots.

You were stirring the contents in your mug when you were joined by Shownu. He strolled in with his messy bed hair and nothing but sweat pants on. you turned towards him and without saying anything he walked towards you and stopped so the two of you would be face to face. He bent over and gave you a small peck on your lips before reaching over your shoulder and setting up the Keurig to make himself a cup as well.

“what are your plans for today?” he asked through a yawn

You took a sip of your coffee and let your eyes scan down shownu’s ripped chest. you observed his sweat pants and didn’t see any boxer lines. You reached out for the hem of his sweats and pulled them towards you to peek inside his sweats.

No boxers, hm?

You looked up at him to give him a sideways grin and then let the hem go so it snapped back against his skin. Shownu looked down at his sweatpants and then back up to you with a cocky grin. You smiled to yourself and took a sip of your coffee as if nothing had happened before you answered him.

“I want to train a little and go check on the warehouse and the new recruits.”

Shownu scoffed at you for not addressing your curiosity as to what was in his pants and closed the distance between your bodies.

“Like what you see, hm?” he whispered to you so only you could hear

You only hummed and gave him a small grin “what are you doing today?” you asked back

He looked up as he thought “hmm… not much, I don’t think that Jooheon has anything planned for us today.” You nodded your head “should I spend the day with you?” he asked with a raised eyebrow and a smile on his face ready for you to say ‘yes’ to him.

You smiled and nodded your head “but only if you put some real clothes on…. I don’t want you to distract me while I’m at work” you said half sarcastically

“yes ma’am!” he replied with a cocky and proud grin

He pulled away with a cocky grin and took a large sip from his mug, maintaining eye contact with you the whole time. You took one final sip of your coffee and then put your mug down in the sink. If you were going to have someone tagging along with you then you wanted to go ahead and get started on your day. Training could come later… plus training with the boys could be good for you too. Especially since you were going to be around someone who was obviously very skilled at his trade and came from a background that you knew so little about.

“I’m going to go get ready. Meet you be back down in 30?” you asked him for confirmation

“see you in 30” shownu accepted

You rushed up stairs and immediately got ready for the day. You knew that it was going to be a long one and that you were going to want to make things as easy as possible. You threw on some jeans and a blouse to make yourself look a little more open and friendly since you would be seeing new members of your team, but also wanted to make a good impression. You slipped on some heels and brushed through your hair. You walked into your bathroom and applied some red lip stain and mascara, making your appearance at least somewhat presentable. You were the leader after all.

You were finishing up when shownu walked in in jeans and a hoodie. You eyed him through the mirror and looked up and down his amazing form. He was so tall and handsome in anything that he wore and you knew the affects that it had on not only women but men as well. You had always questioned him and tried to see if he could potentially become a baiter, but he always shook it off.  

He said that it was too “personal” and he didn’t have the ability to attach himself to people and then let them go at a whim. But you felt that deep down it was an excuse because he didn’t want to see anyone other than yourself. Because you knew that shownu really had feelings for you despite him never pushing to take things farther than what they were. Just casual fucking. In fact, the mention of  marriage was the only thing that he had mentioned that was other than your previous arrangement with him and Jooheon. But if you were being completely honest with yourself you could marry Shownu without any contest to your parents if they would let you marry him instead.

“you ready?” you turned and asked him

He nodded his head and gave you a small smile. You checked the mirror one last time before leaving your bedroom and shutting of the lights. You grabbed your purse on the way out and sent a text to the group chat so that everyone knew where you and shownu would be today.

   The car ride was a slow one and you were thankful for the time to mentally prepare yourself and get into boss mode. If you were going to face the new members then you wanted to make sure that the knew that they were meeting the most important person to them in this career, and that they should take you seriously.

Shownu pulled up to the warehouse and you eyed the building first checking to see how secure it looked. There was no one standing blatantly outside, making it obvious that there were people and things that weren’t mean to be seen by anyone. But you knew that there were cameras and eyes everywhere and your presence would be immediately known. Shownu parked the car behind the warehouse, so it wouldn’t be seen and you immediately jumped out not waiting for anyone to come outside or for shownu to join your side.

You walked towards the back door and when you were merely five feet away it automatically slid open for you and shownu to walk inside. “boss!” one of the men said and bowed slightly. You nodded your head to him in acknowledgement and quickly moved past.

Shownu put his hand on the small of your back and used his other free hand to gesture to a hidden room where you could find the new trainees. Having been there many times himself he easily guided you through the hallways and hidden doors to take you to were you needed access. He stopped in front of a door and then slid it open for you revealing a room that was lit up compared to the rest of the place. There were mats on the floor, weapons on the walls and training gear everywhere. Compared to the run down look of the place outside the inside was completely modernized for comfort and the best training.

When the boys inside turned to see who had came in one immediately bowed and two looked at you in confusion.

“boys this is your boss, Miss. Y/n” the trainer said to the two

Their eyes went wide and they immediately bowed down respectfully and greeted you.

“I didn’t think that we would ever meet you since we are just at the bottom!” one of them said with a bewildered look in his eyes. He bowed again slightly and offered a hand to shake “my name is changkyun, but everyone calls me I.M.” he said with a smile.

You raised and eyebrow as you shook his hand looking at him up and down. He was young, pretty and had a good personality. He wasn’t afraid to make himself be known and show his charms, which intrigued you. You wanted to see how well he fought and see what other charms he had. He could potentially work alongside Hyungwon and become a baiter.

“its nice to meet you I.M” you said with a smile and turned to the other

He boy held his breath and awkwardly bowed to you with a  nervous smile on his face “hello, my name is kihyun”. He raised his head and looked at you in the eyes for a split second before nervously looking away and failing to make eye contact any more.

“Likewise.” You said with a small smile “don’t let me bother you, I’m just here to observe and fetch a few things” you mentioned and the boys nodded their heads

You looked over your shoulder and tilted your head towards the door letting shownu know that you were going to leave and attend to other business. He began to follow you as you turned but you put up a hand telling him to stay with the new boys.

You walked out of the room and went to the opposite side of the warehouse where you knew the operations rooms were. You sat down at a desk where the monitors were displayed, showning the training rooms and watched in silence how the boys trained together and alone. After a minute of watching and nothing happening that piqued your attention you pulled out your phone and sent a text to shownu.

You: I’m watching from ops room. Get I.M to talk about himself and push kihyun harder than the trainer is.

You watched the monitor and smiled when you noticed shownu pulled out his phone and smiled seeing your name. he checked the message and quickly responded back to you

Shownu: yes ma’am.

Shownu: try not to watch me too much

You chuckled when you read the messages and shook your head at the monitor. Smart ass.

You put your phone away and watched the boys as they interacted with each other. Shownu partnered up with kihyun and chit chat with changkyun about where he was from and how he came here at the same time trying to pry information from him and work at the same time.

“so how did you two end up here?” he asked them both as to not seem rude only asking the one

“well, I was poor and living on the streets. Stealing food and working part time jobs was barely enough to survive and someone from one of the jobs recommended that I come interview here” kihyun said with a small shrug of his shoulders

“oh, where were you working before?” shonwu pried

“just around town for small businesses repairing electronics and doing IT work. Really anywhere that would hire me” he said

Shownu nodded his head and turned to I.M “and you?” he asked

“I’ve got a friend who already works here actually” he said with a cocky grin “he said that I should come work for you guys. His name is bang chan”

His confession piqued your interest and you immediately pulled out your phone to open your email and check on this said friend. You scrolled through your files for employees and immediately pulled up a file with the boys name.

He looked clean, no history of problems for the clan, and had several accomplishments to his name for the group so far. A hacker, hm? You thought to yourself. You closed down his information and opened up I.M’s looking over any notes already made from the trainer. He worked hard, was pretty damn strong and seemed like he would be a good weapons or baiter. You smiled seeing the trainers notes and nodded your head. Great minds think alike after all.

You backed out of his file and returned to your inbox and frowned seeing an email from Hoseok. You quickly tapped on it and read through the message, staring at it like it was a thorn in your side that you couldn’t wait to get rid of.

 That sounds perfectly fine to me. I look forward to seeing you again tomorrow night.

Shin Hoseok

 You didn’t bother responding to him and locked your phone, tired of looking at the small screen. You looked up to the monitor once more and sighed seeing the boys still talking and doing their own thing. You grew anxious and decided to distract yourself with something else while you waited for the boys to finish up. So you used the next hour to come up with the perfect plan for tomorrow.

  When you arrived back at the house you didn’t bother looking for the boys, but went straight to your room to change into work out clothes. As you were changing you looked at the clock and sighed to yourself. It was already 1pm and you still hand plenty that needed to be done. You ran to your office and made a quick call to some of the other warehouses that you wanted to check in on and then called Minhyuk into your office.

“ready for a progress report?” he asked with a smile on his face, which meant that he found something good for you

“what did you get?” you asked with a slight grin

“well…. Not too much, but what I did find is pretty good!” he said “being that he’s a son of the Shin’s you could already imagine that his info was locked up tight. But what I found is actually from some pissed off ex-jobs of his, who’ve put a lot of info up on the internet.”

You looked at him with wide eyes and nodded your head, eager for him to continue.

“apparently, lover boy is pretty skilled and can handle up to three or… maybe even more girls at one time. And ive got the profiles of three that he dated simultaneously.” He handed you the women’s portfolio’s “he was intimate with all of them, shared real information with all of them, but he had very different personalities with all of them. which means-“

“which means he’s a though son of a bitch with multiple faces” you cut Minhyuk off

He nodded at you with a sigh. He pointed down towards the papers he handed you “melanie was the son of an arms dealer. He treated her pretty rough mostly earned her trust through her 2 year daddy and little girl kink. Jessica is a Russian mafia boss’s niece, he had a 5 month vanilla relationship with her until their clans went to war and her father died. Minah… minah was a 6 month project. She worked as a stripper but had a lot of pimps who ran some sex trafficking circles. He took her in, gave her food and shelter, slapped his dick around…. You get it” Minhyuk explained

“and what did he want from these relationships?” you asked intrigued. None of the girls had anything in common other than petty connections

“it seems from the looks of it just info on drugs, prostitution and clan secrets”

You raised your eyebrows. Someone was telling him that information after only 5 or 6 months of dating? Sheesh people were fucking stupid.

“I meet with him tomorrow night” you said looking up at Minhyuk “I wonder which one of him I will meet…”

Minhyuk nodded his head and gave you an empathetic look “just be careful and make sure that you don’t say too much” he pleaded “and take one of the boys with you… it would make me more comfortable”

You gave him a look of ‘bitch really?’ and shook your head. Minhyuk pouted at your negative approach to his worry about you and turned to leave your office. When he was finally gone you stared down at the images of the girls in front of you. All of them were beautiful and all of them were vastly different from you. Were you supposed to be a big fish for him?

You let out a long sigh and stood up from the chair, making your way out of your office and down the hall to the home gym. You heard some music playing from a far and wondered which of the boys were inside training. When you made it to the door you cracked the door open and peeked inside.

Shownu was by himself, covered in sweat and red in the face. You could tell that he pushed himself today since it was only him by himself. You quietly tip-toed in the room and shut the door behind you. He was sitting the corner of the room and doing arm curls, with his poor back facing you. You snuck up behind him and stuck your hands in his shirt, through the tank tops arm cut outs, groping his firm pecks. You bent over and lightly licked at his neck, humming at the taste of his salty sweat on your tongue.

Shownu jumped and nearly dropped the weight that he was using, but quickly regained his composure and chuckled at your childishness. You giggled in return and sat next to him on the bench and gave him a wicked smile

“almost done?” you asked him

He put down his weight and wiped your saliva off of his neck, grimacing up at you. “yeah, I’m all done”

“good you can help me” you said with a wicked smile.

You stood up and you grabbed a bar from the weight rack. You stood feet shoulder width apart and held the bar by the grips. “come spot me” you said nonchalantly, but planning more torture for him.

He eagerly came and stood behind you. You took a small step back and then bent down with the bar, making sure that your ass would rub up against his groin. He held his breath and chuckled at your attempt to trick him again.

“you’d better train right otherwise you’ll hurt yourself” he said in a sarcastic tone

You stood upright and looked over your shoulder innocently “of course… daddy” you said in a small voice, making Shownu stare at you with dominance at the sound of his pet name rolling off of your lips.

You took a step forward and did a few more sets of deadlifts, smiling to yourself when you felt his hands slowly snake up your legs and hold you by your waist. You could feel him begin to press himself into your back, and you felt his erection poking your firmly in your ass. You chuckled and bent down once more to place the bar on the floor. You stepped away quickly as soon as it was out of your hands and moved towards the benches to work on your bench press. Shownu grunted and fixed himself in his pants so he wouldn’t be sporting an obviously painful erection and followed behind you.

You laid back against the seat and put your hands on the bar that was elevated just above you. Shownu looked down at you cheekily as he walked over you and straddled your body as he stood above you to spot you from dropping the bar. You put a poker face on and let your hands drop as you looked up at him with wide innocent eyes.

“how many reps should I do?” do you asked him

He smiled down at you and responded darkly “you should do it until you can’t anymore”

You bit the side of your lip and nodded your head as if you agreed with his recommendation. He stared down at you while you picked up the bar and did about 15 reps on your own. He had enough time in between your last little tease that he thought that you were being serious now so you put the weight back up on the rack above you and stretched your arms out, playing innocent as if your arms were becoming tight. Side to side and up over your head you pulled and stretched your limbs and while he watched you with a certain amount of unease.

“do your arms hurt after only 15?” he asked with concern

You looked up at him and nodded your head. He bent over and began to squeeze on your arms to give them more blood flow and you grinned to yourself as you had now better access to his still partially raised cock.

“I should make you train with me more often? Since when did you become so weak?” he asked concentrated

While his arms were both focused on your left arm, massaging and squeezing them your right arm groped his member through his sweats. He abruptly stopped with his ministrations and let out a gasp of air.  He shuttered above you and gave you a firm look.

“princess, you’d better stop teasing me if you don’t want me to fuck you on this bench” he demanded

To his heavy and demanding words you gave him a wide scared look in your eyes as you sat up in front of him. But as soon as you were sitting in front of the tent in his sweats you smirked and reached for the hem of his sweats and boxers, yanking them down quickly.

Shownu hissed and gave you a look of pure lust at the feeling of his nakedness. You licked your lips and quickly grabbed his cock, pumping it a few times to get him nice and firm. You held him by his base and then quickly wrapped his head with your lips. You sucked on him with firm pressure and used your tongue as much as you could, meanwhile simultaneously pumping the base of his cock.

Shownu’s face screwed up tight and he let out strings of curse words and lewd remarks that made you blush. “fuck yes, baby girl” he grunted out as he tried to pump his cock in and out of your mouth quicker “just like that…. Just like that”

You pulled your mouth away from his head and pumped his cock quickly with your free hand. You pulled his cock up and bent down to lick and suck on his balls. The moment your mouth closed around them he groaned a pitiful and helpless noise making you chuckle.

You let go of them and looked up at him with a triumphant look and Shownu looked down at you with a look of pain. You could tell that he was really close to coming, but you didn’t want to give it to him just yet. So you slowly alleviated the pressure that you had around him and began to pump him slower and slower.

When he realized what you were doing he quickly pulled you up by your shoulders making you stand up and backed out of the way. When he was out of the way of the bench he firmly pushed your shoulders down, making you quickly reach your hands out for the bench to stop you from falling into it at your chest. he held you down with a firm grip and then straddled the back end of the bench, giving himself exposure to your ass. He cupped your ass firmly and sighed as he quickly removed them to pull down the waist of your pants.

You gasped from the air contact and shrieked as you felt him quickly fill you up in one thrust.

“oh my god… you’re so wet” he groaned as your walls clenched around him

He slowly pulled out and you mewled at the feeling of his veiny long cock rubbing against your walls. And just as slowly as he pulled out he pushed back in. you grunted in frustration with how slowly he was moving and tried to push your hips against his. But, shownu’s firm grasp had your body in his complete control.

“not so much fun being teased now is it princess?” he asked you with a devilish grin

“fucking shownu! Please move” you begged him through gritted teeth, high on the contact but aching for an orgasm

“what did you call me?” he asked in his authoritative voice and completely haulting all movements

Your eyes went wide at the lost contact and you whined “daddy!” you chocked on sobs “daddy please fuck me!”

“and how do you want me to fuck you baby girl?” he asked teasing you even more

“like your whore, daddy!” you yelled, giving into temptation, desperate for more.

Shownu smiled down at you now that the roles had reversed and snapped his cock into your tight snatch at a speed that sent you face first down into the bench. You clung onto it for dear life and screamed out as he repeatedly filled you to the hilt, stretching you out around his cock.

You could feel how desperate and spiteful he was while he fucked you. Each thrust had your face in the side of the bench and your breast beat wildly against your body. The only thing that had you focused and in consciousness was the sound of skin slapping against skin and the whines and grunts that shownu let out.

And although from the outside looking in, it seemed unnormal and almost abusive and manipulative for someone to treat you as roughly as this was. But in reality nothing made you more wet than Shownu pushing you around and being incredibly rough. And you didn’t care that you had to be vulnerable and weak to illicit this behavior from him.

Shownu put his leg up on the bench while he was thrusting in you, moving his positions. Forcing you to loose some of your balance but the new position forced  his cock to repeatedly hit your g-spot.

Your mouth widened and you squeezed your eyes shut, but no noise came from you. Your orgasm was paralyzing you and leaving you a shaky mess. As soon as it completely overwhelmed you your legs began to give out and shownu had to quickly catch you so you wouldn’t fall over.

“Shit” he said through a laugh as he watched your orgasm rock through your body, making your limbs and stomach convulse.

He picked you up and laid you down on the floor, face up, and he quickly joined you so he could get himself off without having to worry about your safety. He quickly put his cock back inside of you and snapped his hips into yours at a pace that had you quickly seeing stars again. You were still sensitive from your first orgasm  and each time that shownu pushed himself inside of you completely it had you unwinding more and more.

You gripped onto his arms for dear life and looked up at him with wide eyes. Shownu looked down at where your two bodies met and snapped his head up to look at you. Seeing your fucked out state he gripped your hips even harder and squeezed his eyes shut. He bit onto his lip and pumped himself in you one last time before he quickly pulled out of you and freed his cum on your stomach.

He growled and groaned as he tugged on his cock, making sure that every last drop was out before he let himself go and crashed on the ground next to you. You both lay there for a moment while you caught your breath. You were about to pull up your clothes and readjust yourself when Minhyuk walked into the gym. He had a determined look on his face, but as soon as his eyes found you and shownu’s disheveled bodies they went wide and he immediately ran out of the room.

You pulled your clothes up and looked down at your shirt which was now spoiled with shonwu’s seed and you sighed as you pulled it over your head. You’d just run to your room in your sports bra. Shownu also got up after seeing Minhyuk and quickly tucked himself back into his sweats.

When you notices that you both were presentable again. You quickly left the gym only to find Minhyuk crouched next to the gym door with his head in between his knees.

“sorry you had to see that” you quickly mumbled and then ran away in embarrassment

“YOU’D BETTER GET BACK HERE AND CLEAN THAT GYM! I’LL NEVER STEP ANOTHER FOOT INTO IT UNTIL IT IS!” he yelled from his spot

Shownu stepped out of the gym as Minhyuk was yelling and froze in place by the door. Minhyuk noticed his presence and locked eyes with him

“I know that you two can’t apparently seem to keep your hands from off of each other, but please don’t fuck in public places like this!” he begged

Shownu bowed with a smirk that he failed to keep to himself and then chased after you with a proud smile.

[purecamp]

39 because we need some angst lol (any pairing you like!)

oooh shit sadistic motherfuckers out here tonight... but bc it’s me, i decided to throw this into higa! verse!!! tysm!!

“Courtney? We need to talk.”

Justin’s fiancée appeared immediately, as though she had been waiting for him to speak. Her head poked around the kitchen door, curls perfectly pinned against her head, and then she started walking up to the counter. Her fluffy purple dressing gown was wrapped tightly around her body, protecting her against the autumnal chill, and mismatching socks adorned her feet.

Justin felt bad immediately. His stomach twisted with guilt, heartache and regret. Courtney was kind, and sweet, and she didn’t deserve this. She didn’t deserve to look so concerned whilst Justin studied her and absent-mindedly thought that over in Greece, he wouldn’t need such a fluffy dressing gown. 

He wasn’t in Greece. He was in New York, in his apartment that he shared with the fiancée he had been somewhat pressured into proposing too, thinking about the girl he had left behind. He was far too young for this - for any of this - and it had all come to ruin. He was just young enough to make mistakes that were just hurtful enough to ruin lives who didn’t deserve to be ruined.

“I think we do.” Came her grave reply, her lips pursed and her eyebrows furrowed. Even in her worry, she seemed graceful and good-natured. She wasn’t fiery or passionate. She didn’t set him alight.

She never had.

“This is a breakup talk, isn’t it.” She continued. Her tone was flat - not necessarily unhappy, just devoid of all emotion. Justin was baffled at how quickly she had gotten to the point. “We’re gonna end the engagement and go our separate ways, aren’t we.”

Justin could only nod. The lump in his throat had grown too large, and Courtney’s comforting hand seemed to burn his skin. He flinched away from her touch - something he’d never done before.

“It- It hasn’t been right for a while... It wasn’t even right before we got engaged.” Courtney mused. “I know it was because of pressure from your parents and mine. The business merger would’ve been fantastic.”

Justin sniffed. “You don’t need my dad’s company name to boost yours. You’re gonna change the face of modern business, Court. I know you will.”

He paused, taking in a ragged breath. “Nineteen is too young. Too young to... give myself away to something I’ve never wanted. I don’t want to get married so young and box myself in with work like this. I had to get out.”

Courtney nodded. “Twenty is too young, really. I don’t know what they expected from us.”

“More than this.” Justin gestured to himself, although he wasn’t sure what he meant. Nothing made sense anymore, not since he’d left that god-foresaken island and its captivating inhabitants behind.

“Why the change of heart?” Courtney asked, wringing her hands. “I- I’m on your side. I think this has been over for a while, and we both need to move on, especially before this wedding is supposed to happen. But... what made things too much?”

The tears came forward before he could stop them, fighting to be first to roll down his cheeks. Again, Courtney tried to wipe them away, to help him, and Justin jerked away from her, sure that any touch other than Sharon’s would scar him for the rest of his life.

“You and I have been friends since we were kids.” He found himself saying, letting the tears just drip. “It made sense to start dating because that’s what people do. Childhood friends to couple. It’s just... how things are done.” Justin swallowed, mustering all the courage he could find. “And I love you Courtney, I really, honestly do.”

His throat seemed to catch. The words didn’t want to come out; he didn’t want to have to admit what he’d done. But Courtney deserved a man who was going to be faithful to her, and give her the life she deserved, and treat her like royalty and not like shit. She deserved someone who would set her alight.

“I love you. I just love her more.”

Courtney’s expression didn’t change. If anything, it softened. There was no hatred, no resentment, no anger - no fiery outbursts of emotion and passion and shock. It was alarming how much Justin had begun comparing her to Sharon, how she remained composed and dignified as Sharon had sobbed and yelled and beat the mattress with her fists. Sharon was explosive, a fireball of passion who felt every emotion too intensely, too much. Courtney had always been calm and reserved, and she knew how to control herself. Sharon was volatile and he was a spark in the night.

“How long?”

“Not long.” Justin answered. “On my trip away. I didn’t have years of background with her. I felt like I did, though. Like we’d met in a past life.”

“And been lovers.” She finished softly. “Lovers in another dimension.”

Justin nodded. “I’ve never felt like this before. It burns.”

Courtney’s hands were wrapped around a mug of now-cold tea, which she sipped at regardless. Her blue eyes were narrowed, as though deep in thought.

“Are you going back to her?”

“I can’t.” Justin shook his head. “Not after the way I hurt her. She’ll never want to see me again.”

Courtney shrugged. “And you’re gonna let that stop you? Why bother confessing this to me if not to go back and tell her that you’re a goddamn idiot and you’re back for good this time?”

It was bizarre - as if Courtney was on Sharon’s side, by all accounts in her view his mistress. Justin tried to ignore the way his heart thrashed and fought at the idea of going back and telling Sharon how much of a fool he’d been to ever let her go, and that he’d never love another as long as he lived.

“It wasn’t fair.”

“It wasn’t fair on who?”

Her expression said it all; her knowing frown and gentle eyes made Justin want to burst into fresh tears. She was right and he hated her for it, and he hated himself for it. In spite of all the ways he had fucked Courtney over, he felt in the pit of his stomach that none of it had been fair on Sharon.

He was a cheater and a liar and he didn’t even have the decency to believe that it was worse for his former fiancée, and not the girl he’d cheated with.

Courtney turned around to leave the kitchen, as grave as she had entered. Just as she reached the doorway, she stopped and sighed, before turning.

“Find her, Justin. For the love of God, make it worth your while.”