#and its just because I want to know. I want answers. but I should know better... he wont give me any

[asapeveryday]

SHOCK FACTOR ★彡 PART 4

Pairing: Paige Bueckers x Rival!Reader

Warnings: swearing

A/n: I hate this ngl 😣 didn’t turn out that great. I swear I’ll do better

“ITS TEN PM, why the fuck are you at my hotel right now?”

Elaine gives an unbothered look at your harsh tone, which shocks you because she’s usually more reactive.

“Seriously?” You scoff. She’d been standing stupidly outside of your door for god knows how long, spamming your phone with messages you didn’t see due to Paige taking it. “You don’t even have a key to my room…what did you think you’d accomplish?”

“It’s a Saturday night, I thought I’d take you out.” She rolls her eyes. “Plus I know your teammates are partying right now. Sorry I didn’t want you to be alone.”

“Well maybe I would’ve liked to be alone, since I didn’t answer the 40 texts and calls you gave me.” You say, opening the room up and stepping inside, letting her follow behind. If you were going to argue it wouldn’t be in the hallway for everyone to hear.

“Well you weren’t alone, were you?” Elaine quips with a rude tone that is foreign for you to hear from her.

“So what if I wasn’t?” You narrow your eyes. “I didn’t come to Connecticut just to see you.”

She’s immediately stung by this, and you feel bad for a split second until she retaliates. “Well you came to Storrs for me, right? Unless you were just trying to fuck Paige Bueckers and leave. You and your little fake arguments, you sure you’re not covering up for something?”

“You’re kidding.” You laugh at her, but it’s uncomfortable. “You think I’m faking my arguments to cover up some elaborate hookup? Shit, you’re crazy.”

“I’m not fucking crazy,” Elaine voice raises above yours, clearly hurt by the comment. “I don’t know why you’re all over the chick, and going out to dinner with her? It’s weird.”

“I don’t know why you care so much. That’s what’s weird.”

“I just think you should keep your distance from Paige.” She says, quieter. “The media has been all over you two, I don’t know if you’ve noticed but it’s overwhelming.”

“Obviously not if I don’t know this already.” You raise your eyebrow. “Guess it’s been overwhelming for you though.”

Elaine is quiet for a moment, arms crossed in an attempt to comfort herself. “I’m sorry.” She says. “I guess I’ve just been jealous. You came to see me after like a year, and I kinda felt like you were more focused on Paige then me.”

At the thought of this you immediately feel awful. You hadn’t seen Elaine for a long time, and when you have been with her you were admittedly distracted.

“I’m sorry Lainey.” You sigh out. “I haven’t been here long…It’s just been a lot. We have the rest of the week.” You hold out your arms and she gladly hugs you tight.

“I’m not gonna lie,” you mumble against her “I thought you were mad about Paige for a whole other reason.”

“What?”

“Never mind.” You shake your head, brushing off the thoughts of her jealousy being a little different from how she explained. “Let’s go out. I need a drink.”

-

You tried to go out and have fun, but your mind kept wandering to earlier. Paige’s hands on your face, her mouth hovering above yours, her eyes staring through you. The memory of her knuckles white and wrapped around the steering wheel as she drove you back home, a pent up expression on her face.

You weren’t sure if she was so annoyed because your moment with her was interrupted, or because Elaine was the one who interrupted it. Despite Paige dismissing your friend, and Elaine seemingly missing your company, you knew there was something going on between them. You just weren’t sure what, and the shots you’d done didn’t help collect your thoughts.

Elaine had been with you for a bit, but eventually went off on her own to get detrimentally more drunk then you planned on getting. You were sitting at a table alone and sipping when you got a notification.

paigebueckers is going live!

You switch to a burner account before joining the live and being greeted with Paige’s straight face reading comments while KK hung out in the background. You felt pathetic watching her live anonymously, but you needed to see her.

“Someone said ‘Ain’t it too late for ya’ll?’” Paige scoffs, turning to KK

“Girl, it’s a Saturday. Who you think we are?” KK quips back, enticing a chuckle from Paige that makes your stomach flutter.

They take turns answering questions; Paige gracefully dodging the less appropriate ones and KK occasionally reading something that makes everyone go crazy. They were so funny together you almost forgot how sad it was that you were in a bar watching their live.

KK looks at the chat for a longer moment before her eyebrows raise, mouth forming an amused smirk while glancing at Paige, who is turned away from the phone and looking at something off screen.

“Aye Paige, someone said ‘u still beefin’ with (name)?’”

Paige flashes a dangerous look to KK who unsurprisingly cowers a bit, but she turns towards the camera and rubs her face sheepishly while responding. “S’ not really beef. We jus don’t get along.”

“Oh?” KK responds, this obviously being news to her.

Blue eyes finally meet the camera, and you almost feel like she’s staring right at you when she says “and I’m tired of people comparing me to her. We are not on the same level.” Paige lets out an entitled huff. “It’s embarrassing. People think just cus we talked like twice we’re equal.”

KK nudges her quickly. “She don’t mean that ya’ll.” She says nervously.

“Nah, I do. I mean she’s not bad. She just don’t got nothing on me.” Paige shrugs. “She’s boring. No shock factor.”

“Aight ya’ll I think that’s it for tonight.” KK says curtly, eyeing Paige. The live ends in an instant, and you’re left feeling hurt, embarrassed, confused and angry. This didn’t feel like an attack on your skill as a basketball player. It was more personal, and Paige knows it.

Your mind is racing from the countless drinks, loud atmosphere and eventful live you’d just watched. You shoot Juju a text and ask her to go live with you, and she surprisingly responds in an instant. The viewers are scarily high right from the get go.

“Who came here from Paige’s live?”

“Ain’t no way she’s at a bar rn”

“Aye (name) how’s Connecticut?”

“lowk think her and Paige are hooking up”

“juju can you say hi pls”

“Hey guys.” You mutter, attempting to steady your voice. Juju raises an eyebrow at your state. “You sure you shud be on live right now?” She asks. “Who’re you even with?”

“Never mind that.” You shake your head, reading through the comments. “Hiii guys. Connecticut’s alright, Storrs is a shithole though.” You laugh.

“Missing California?” Juju asks.

Sighing, you reply “Very much so.”

“Sooo, let’s talk bout your new friend!” Juju smirks, most probably unaware of Paige’s newest comment about you.

“And who would that be?”

“Paige Bueckers, duh. Must be nice to see her in person outside of the court.” Juju says innocently, not paying attention to the increase of questions in the chat concerning Paige’s live.

“Nice isn’t quite the word I would use.” You grumble, and Juju immediately seems to regret bringing it up. She tries to save the situation by asking something else, but you interrupt her. “I think the word disappointing…or maybe shitty fits better.”

“Hah, you’re funny.” Juju attempts to seem amused, but is clearly trying to figure out how she can work in some damage control. She furiously types something out and you get a message from her a moment later

JUJU-KINS 😘

Girl get tf off of live RIGHT NOW and get yo self home and in bed. Ur so drunk.

Seen.

Ignoring the text, you continue to read questions out loud. Your body is practically on fire and you’re aware that you’re not thinking straight, but there are no intentions of stopping now. Paige certainly couldn’t have enough of talking big online, so why should you?

“‘Weren’t you just with Paige at a coffee shop yesterday?’” You read out loud. “Not intentionally.” You huff, eyebrows narrowing. “The girl can’t accept I’m tryna have a peaceful vacation. For whatever reason I keep seeing her everywhere, it’s not even funny, just fucking weird.”

“(Name) I think we should put the phone down.” Juju says quietly.

“Mm, it’s not even my problem she thinks ‘m boring anyways.” You grumble, words starting to slur. “Mayyybe I’m boring cus I don’t wanna fuckin’ talk to her n her shitty Italian restaurant.”

The chat begins to blow up at this, and it finally hits you how much damage you’ve just done. “M’kay bye.” You rush out, quickly ending the live and texting Juju back.

YOU

howw fucked am i scale of 1-10

JUJU-KINS 😘

We not even in numbers anymore atp.

Get yo ass up and go home pls. This is an issue for tmr now

Your head is starting to pound as you get up from your spot and push through people in search of Elaine, thankfully she finds you first, half stumbling-half intentionally bumping into you. She’s obviously wasted.

“Ready to go homeee?” She hiccups, accepting your hand as help to balance herself. “I’m gonna call an Uber.” You reply. “Can we wait outside?”

The two of you practically tumble out of the bar, the cold air slightly sobers you up, and clarifies your thoughts a bit. You feel yourself start to get irritated.

“Do you have to get so fuckin’ drunk every time we go out?” You huff out.

“Don’t start.” Elaine snaps. “You’re literallyyyy slurring your words.”

“At least I can walk,” you scoff. Your head is absolutely aching now, and you’re dying to be home. “You look so stupid tripping around.”

“Well you look stupid feining over Paige, goin live n shit talking her.” She retaliates.

“I’m not feining for shit.”

“You’re obsessed.” Elaine slurs. “N’ I’ll tell you what. She’s going to play your ass and you’re never gonna get over it, cus that’s what she does.”

“You know way more about her then you let on.” You narrow your eyes, unsurprised when she avoids your gaze. “How’d you even know I was out with her today anyways?”

She’s quiet, you can’t tell if she’s thinking or if she’s genuinely ignoring you.

“Elaine.” You say sharply. “How the fuck did you know I was out with Paige?”

“I have her location.” She mumbles.

“What?”

“She still shares her location me.”

“She still…” you pause, attempting to understand what she’s saying. “She shares her location with you?”

“I mean, I don’t think she knows she hasn’t turned it off.” Elaine says sheepishly. “I just happened to check n’ I saw you guys together.”

“This is so fuckin’ weird.” You scoff. “What happened to you guys barely knowing each other?”

“Yeah, well that’s what I told you.” She rolls her eyes.

“And what didn’t you tell me?”

“I’m surprised she didn’t tell you.” Elaine shrugs, eyes heavy.

“We used to fuck.”

The immediate regret on her face as the words leave her mouth makes you sick to your stomach, and a swirl of unintelligible emotions begin to manifest inside of you.

“And you didn’t tell me this because?”

“Didn’t think it was worth mentioning.”

“Why’d you try to get me to flirt with her that first day at the bar?”

She shakes laughs and her head. “Didn’t think you’d actually end up talking to her, didn’t think she’d be so interested in you either. You’re not really her type.”

Exasperated and unsure how to even articulate what you’re feeling, you simply bring your hands to your face. “Do you understand how fucking weird this is?”

“Don’t get so frustrated.” She scoffs. “You’ve talked to her for like three days, n’ you thought she was a dick before this week. Don’t tell me you’re into her now.”

“It’s not even about her at this point.” You sneer. “I don’t know who the fuck you are, and I don’t know why everyone here is fucking obsessed with lying.”

When she doesn’t respond you take the opportunity to get more in, facing her now and looking down in disappointment. “I didn’t even know you liked girls, and now you’re telling me you’ve been hooking up with someone I know? God, it makes sense now why you were so quick to start insulting her the minute she showed any interest in me.”

Elaine can’t even bring herself to look at you, and the fact that she’s so drunk she might not even be digesting what you’re saying is infuriating you.

“Then you guilt trip me about not paying enough attention to you? Was that really what was bothering you, or was it the fact that she was out with me?”

Taking a deep breath, you turn your back to her and check your phone to see when your uber was coming. You also see a text message.

PAIGE

Yo

Normally you’d have ignored any message from her after today, but your mind was still racing from adrenaline and you couldn’t help but respond.

YOU

what do u want

PAIGE

Are you still at that bar?

I feel like we shud talk

YOU

you gonna tell me why you lied to my face?

i’m with Elaine rn

PAIGE

Oh uh…

I can pick both u guys up and drop her off ? If u want.

YOU

i’m not riding in the car you prolly fucked her in

bye

PAIGE

Typing…

[meanbossart]

in the least confrontational way possible…what’s up with you shipping durge and orin? is it just another aspect of u liking fucked up dark dynamics in media? personally its not for me at all, but i’m curious why you like them together and how her dynamic is with ur durge

[CONTENT WARNING for mentions of inter generational incest and grooming below, nothing explicit.] Hm. You know, it's a little unfortunate that we have reduced every depiction of characters having a relationship that is at all romantic or sexual in nature (not even, really, I've only ever drawn them hugging LOL) as "shipping". I don't "like" them together in the way I like DU drow and Astarion together, for example, and they never really were together. I made up a story that I find interesting, because I find Orin interesting and wanted to explore her themes more, and liked the idea that hers and Durge's relationship wasn't always "bad".

I really enjoy writing for DU drow, I put a lot of effort into making his story feel fleshed out and suited for the in-game universe. It's a little disheartening that some people may harp on this without considering that there is a wider context beyond it just tickling me, somehow. These are two characters who've never even had sex, in which one of them (Orin) isn't even interested in romance or "mating", and the other one has no concept of healthy relationships, familial or otherwise and just desperately grasps at the one thing he feels a kinship to: to the eventual disintegration of the one relationship he had that approached anything to mutual understanding and relatability.

Theirs isn't a love story, it's a story about isolation and grooming that led to total dependency. If you've been told your whole life that everyone and everything is fated to die at your hand, that your kind is meant to be contained within a genetical crockpot, that debauchery is normalcy and everyone else is the enemy, it is no huge stretch that you would dump all expectations of companionship onto your one, supposed equal - friend, sister, mate, should-be-lover. And then, if you're a bad person on top of that, you won't take no for an answer.

Add to that that your grandfather (Sarevok) is apparently in total agreement and a practicant of the idea of inbreeding for weird purity purposes and you have yourself an environment where an obsession like such can be born - one that Orin wants nothing to do with, because unlike DU drow, she doesn't become distracted by matters of the heart - and hence we have conflict, and we have reason for resentment to brew over time. At some point in the past, they had a "good" (within the bhaalist concept) relationship, and there was nothing sexual or romantic about it. DU drow crushed that. And then he got a worm in his brain for it.

Is that shipping? 🤷 idk

If you go onto my blog's archive and look up the "orin the red" tag you can find more asks where I discuss them and their relationship.

[lilithhb]

🫀Experiences;

One night, in a room.

Years ago I went to a school trip with some friends.

I had these friend who I loved a lot during that time, I am a very loving person so I remember hugging him a lot and he would do the same. It was nice because he was taller than me so I could listen to her heart every time I wanted to by hugging him.

As I’ve had a heart condition for a time now he always took care of me making sure that I felt okay. Something that beyond cardiophilia I always found it cute.

“Did you take your pills?” “Make sure not to eat much junk food” “How is your heart?” “Everything okay with your dumb pump” are small examples of the things he used to say to me. I had that trust in which I would lie next to him and sometimes he would put his hand on my chest while doing stuff, feeling my heart. Something that I told him made me feel safe.

I remember the movement of his hand going up and down following my heartbeat as Ive always had a visible heartbeat.

I remember him getting worried when my heart decided to skip some beats while his hand rested on my chest. “Its fine” I would say, “It does that sometimes” and the he would say that it should not happen again as if I could control my heartbeat hehe….

During that trip he was extra careful with me. We had long walks and he would always walk next to me as I would get tired easily because of my condition. My heart always beating erratically with skips and pauses with the sun making me a sweat mess. He would take my wrist to feel my pulse just to know about my condition. One time he even putted his palm against my chest to feel it directly while he told me I should follow his breathe to calm my heart.

One afternoon after one of those long walks both of us sneaked into his room (girls and boys could not share room during this trip for obvious reasons) to rest and talk. We had small conversations but I was too tired to keep the dialogue going, so after a small silence he got closer and laid his hand on my chest once again. My heart beating strong following a fast pace.

“Does it hurt?” He asked, I started blushing for some reason, it never actually mattered to me that he put his hand on my chest but somehow I felt more vulnerable this time. “No, I mean yeah kinda” I reply. “You should rest then…”

I don’t really remember who things went, but we lay down on his bed, where after some time trying to sleep he would sit and watch me straight to my eyes asking me if he could listen to my heart. My heart started to race more in answer to the question, which I stuttered to reply with a yes.

He would lay his head on my chest while his hand rested on my wrist. I remember that I was having an arrhythmia during that time, so he would comment about every skip and rhythm change my heart would make, he told about how beautiful it was for him to listen the one thing that keeps working so hard, and kinda poorly, to keep me alive.

I remember his breathing, his head moving up and down my every shake my chest had in response to hard little pump. His attempts to follow my heartbeat with smalls “pump pum” coming from his mouth.

I loved every second of it. I never felt soy listened in my life. And we stayed like that for hours until the night came. I did fall sleep at the end, when I woke up I was hugging his head against my chest, with my heart beating slowly with the same pace of his breathing.

This was my attempt of writing some of my cardiophile experiences, sorry for the bad English I am not a native speaker;;; I have many more to tell so perhaps this is only the first of many posts with my experiences, who knows?

[strawberries-and-summer-days]

ITS NOT MIDNIGHT ANYMORE . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

pairing: Show!Luke Castellan x apollo!fem!reader!

warnings: swearing + derogatory names i think thats about it

a/n: alrighty!! we're here for the final round of this whole part series thingamajig. i kinda put this off cause i know luke's gotta make a whole oscar worthy speech and i was worried my writing wouldn't cut it lol. but anyhoo i hope you enjoy!!

part one: midnight troubles | part two: meet me at midnight

what.

the.

fuck?

wait... no yeah, what the fuck?

"what?" your voice is quiet and you turn around slowly, your eyes narrowed.

"...because, i- i love you,"

"you're telling me that you don't want to be friends... because you love me?" you eye luke. "you think you can just say you love me and i'll throw myself at your feet and all with be right again?" you take a menacing step forward. "you think you can tell me a lie and get out of this?"

luke's eyes shine with an unrestrained emotion you can't quiet place. "you think i'm lying?"

another step forward. "yes."

luke takes a hesitant step forward. "im not," his voice is soft.

"you are."

"i'm not."

"bullshit."

the look in luke's eyes cause you to hesitate for a moment. is he actually being serious right now?

"then what the fuck luke?" your arms fly out and you drop them. "what in the ever-loving-actual-fuck is wrong with you?" you shake your head and try to repress the anger bubbling beneath your skin. "you think you can just throw this shit in my face? i've been in love with you for years. years. do you see me acting like the worlds biggest asshole? no! do you see me freezing up when someone calls my best friend a slut or a whore? no! do you see my trying to get out of this whole fucked up situation by telling my best friend that i don't want to be their friend and that i'm in love with them? NO!" you heave you breath coming out harshly.

"w-what?"

"i-i'm just done luke," you say quickly barely even noting you'd just told him you love him in your anger.

"y/n-"

"i'm done!" you snap stepping back from him. "i'm giving you until tomorrow afternoon to sort your shit out, and work out whatever the fuck you want to say or do. but after that, we're done. this-" you motion between the two of you- "is done. luke and y/n? over. we're fucking done. you've got," you look down at your watch. "like eighteen hours, and considering how long it takes you to answer, you better get cracking." you roll your eyes and walk away from the twinkling glow of the fairy lights. not even caring when you step in a puddle from percy's shenanigans earlier today. not even caring that it's dark.

your world has been dark for a week.

~~~

everyone in camp could tell you and luke had some sort of falling out. it was obvious when you didn't sing this morning, it was obvious when you didn't come and watch him train, it was obvious when you had brushed past him and he had looked torn, it was most definitely obvious when luke had somehow managed to be bested during sword sparring.

and that was what had set campers off.

sides had started to be chosen and feuds had started to form.

chaos was brewing already and it had only been a day. rumours about what happened - curtesy of the grape bitch, you wanna say phyllis..? - had formed and spread like wildfire.

it was almost scary how much unknown power you both had over campers.

so now you're sitting on the beach watching as the waves lap against the shore contemplating if you should just hunt luke down and smack him instead of talking - it seems really reasonable you guys.

"hey..." a deep voice comes from behind you.

"hello."

luke's warm presence appears behind you and it takes everything in you to not lean into it.

"so..." you start, hoping luke gets the idea.

"so yeah..." luke sighs. "y/n, please, listen to me- no hear me out okay? just let me get this all out and then you can yell at me." he takes a deep breath and lets it all out in one go.

"i love you. i've loved you since the day you showed up at camp all grumpy and refusing to socialise with anyone except me. i love the way your singing can create immense peace, i love the way you scrunch your nose whenever you get embarrassed. i love the way your face lights up when campers come and talk to you. you're a star in the night sky, shining brighter everyday. you're my best friend and im hopelessly- desperately in love with you. i have been since forever. and i'm the world biggest asshole for letting the shit that went down last week happen. please, please, forgive me. i'll do anything."

your heart burns with every word he says. luke's eyes shine with barely unrestrained emotion and his face is the epitome of adoration.

you're both so wrapped up in his words that you don't notice the small gathering of campers at the edge of the sand watching the two of you. each of them, though they've chosen sides luke or y/n, they all hope for the same thing.

luke lifts his hand and gently tucks a stray curl behind your ear. "please say something."

"um..." you breathe, struggling to find the right words to say. "wow."

luke looks at you so earnestly it hurts your heart.

"luke... i love you. i. love. you. do you get that? i've been practically obsessed with you since i showed up at camp. and you fucking hurt me last week, some big speech isn't going to change that."

"y/n," luke starts.

"luke listen to me please." you breathe out shakily. "i don't want to lose you, but i can't- i just can't-" you're cut off when luke's soft lips press onto yours.

the kiss is soft, searching, hopeful. you lean into it slightly and the campers watching nearby silently start to celebrate.

but then you come to your senses.

pulling away, you look at luke with tears in your eyes. "no luke, no. you can't kiss me and make it all go away. you cant just kiss your way out of this. i love you and its tearing me apart."

"y/n," his voice is filled with anguish.

"its physically hurting me luke. it hurts." tears are freely streaming down your face now. "it hurts so fucking much that the one person i trusted to stand up for me, the one person i trusted with my whole being can't even defend me in a petty situation like that. how am i supposed to move on from this knowing my best friend in everything can't even stand up for me?"

tears shine in luke's eyes.

"so no luke. no. i don't care what you have to say anymore. this-" you motion between the two of you. "is done. im done. i love you but i love myself more."

you stand up then, tears falling down your face like waterfalls. "see ya round lukey."

two broken words a wrenched from luke's throat then. "no. please."

"i'm sorry..."

a/n pt2: ummm soo im very sorry for that yeah.... sorry about that ending of the series (if its wanted enough i'll make another part maybe possibly)

TAGLIST: @iammightsadyall, @y0urm0m12, @just35yrsandtrying, @kaceyh24, @dancing-inasnowglobe, @purplerose291, @shoyofroyoyoyo, @purple-imaginess, @spqrkles, @itz-lilywelch, @d1lf-loverrr, @cassiopeia-core

[chrollohearttags]

Mic Check: Miami Heat | The Trailer

hello all and welcome to the reality show au (within an au) for reverb! This is a little bonus mini series that I’ve had in the works alongside the upcoming chapters of the story. These are some of the excerpts from dialogue of the show. I’m really excited for this one, even though it’s been ages since I’ve worked on it! I hope y’all enjoy! as always, reblogs and comments are HEAVILY APPRECIATED! it’s very hard to keep motivation for long winded series and fics when we don’t feel like anyone is paying attention.

side note: blue = narration

pink = dialogue from the ‘show’

══✿══╡°˖✧✿✧˖°╞══✿══ ══✿══╡°˖✧✿✧˖°

When you think of Miami…you think palm trees, South Beach..the glitz..fame..

“This house is literally perfect. It’s my dream home..” “it better be for $5 mil..”

“AMG is hosting the very first music festival of its kind. No other record label has done anything like this. Last year, the talent agency reportedly earned $7.2 billion—“

“You grew up sailing on a yacht. That’s some next level shit, dude!” “Yeah, it was definitely crazy.”

“You know you’ve made it when you can ride back through your old hood in a McLaren.” “And that bitch paid for too.”

“People asking for pictures and autographs when I go out is ‘sum I don’t think I can ever get used to. It’s all still new to me.”

“You’re the it girl now, get used to it.”

..and the glamor. The home to some of the biggest names in the music industry and they’re showing everyone what they’re all about..

“This is our year..believe that.”

“We’re doing our first international tour, dawg. This shit crazy.”

“This next album has to be my best..I owe that to everybody who’s supported me for the past ten years.”

“I’m gonna prove to them why I deserve to be here. This is just as much my passion as everybody else’s.”

“We’re more than just stripping or dancing, this is our art and we wanna show the world what Pole Assassins is all about.”

“You ever thought about making a solo album while Atelier Kiss is on hiatus?” “I don’t even know what that would sound like.”

“Dead Boys for Life. We doing this shit till we in the dirt.”

══✿══╡°˖✧✿✧˖°╞══✿══ ══✿══╡°˖✧✿✧˖°

..Welcome to the Magic City, like you’ve never seen it before! Watch your favorite stars as they navigate careers..

“AHHHH! IT’S SO PRETTY!..” “That's all you, baby. You earned it.”

“EJ the Don is the motherfucking blueprint. Everybody in this game has tried to imitate your style.” “There’s only one though.”

“Thank y’all so much for getting me to one million! I’m so happy right now—“

“This could be a huge opportunity for you..I think you should go for it. You could become the next big name in the modeling world if you play your cards right.”

“They want me to model for Playboy—“

“I’ve never done anything like this before..”

“I get one song to show them why I belong here. I can’t fuck this up.”

“You’re really nervous, aren’t you?” “Yeah..” “..don’t be, you earned this for a reason.”

“Can I throw up now? Because I feel like I want to..”

..love

“I just really love spending time with you. I always have so much fun when you’re around.”

“When are you gonna let me make you mine?” “When you stop playing games and ask me to.”

“That man really got you smiling like this! It’s so cute.” “Maybe I’m feeling him a lil’ bit.”

“I get to spend the rest of my life with you and that’s all that matters.”

“You wouldn’t know what to do with me..” “I can think of a couple things actually..”

“I swear, he’s everything I could ever want. I’ve never felt like this, I don’t know what to do.”

“Can I kiss you right now?” “You didn’t even have to ask.”

“After 20 years of marriage, how do you keep the spark in your relationship?” “I don’t think I can answer that on the radio.”

“I think you’re falling in love.” “What if I said I already am?..”

“All eyes are on us now. Everybody knows we’re dating.” “So let’s give them something to see, baby.”

..and..their biggest challenges! They’ll be tested beyond their limits and some..may even break.

“You abandoned me! I didn’t even know who you was..now you want to be a fucking mom?!”

“You were never a fucking dad to me. I barely even saw you and you wanna tell me what I’ve done wrong with my life?!”

“It’s been seven years since she passed away. I can’t even bring myself to go because it’ll all come back to me.”

“They tryna give me life behind this shit, dawg.” “That’s the thing about making it out. Everybody else gets left behind. The only way you can ever visit them is behind glass or at their grave.”

“I never forgave him for what happened and I don’t think I ever will. It’s some things you don’t talk about as a man.”

“Nah, I’m done playing these fucking games with you! Leave me alone.”

“My dad is sick and he wants me to take over his company. I don’t know if I can handle that responsibility.”

“It’s okay to be angry or cry, that’s what healing is all about. You’re not perfect.”

“Are you sure you wanna quit making music?” “I don’t know what I want anymore.”

“I’m just tired of feeling like I'm not being taken seriously. I’m just forever going to be the guy in second place.”

“Could we see another Mika ASH album in the future?…” “I don’t know if Mikasa Ackerman can survive that. It might kill me..”

“I’ve been fighting this addiction alone and I just can’t do it anymore.”

“I can’t afford no shit like this to happen right now. I don’t wanna go through with it..”

confronting their biggest fears..and each other.

“I always felt like you had a problem with me.”

“You just fake as hell and I can’t fake like I’m with all that.”

“You’ve always been a pussy. I don’t expect much.”

“I ain’t switch up on nobody. I grew up and that’s some shit you don’t know nothing about.”

“All you’ve ever gave a fuck about is music, nothing or no one else..” “Music is the only thing that’s never let me down. More than I can ever say for your sorry ass.”

“You let that bitch disrespect me in your face and said nothing to check her. I could never be with a man like you.”

“You gon’ tell her you’ve been fucking her man or do I have to?”

“Everybody keeps saying you’re bad for me.” “Maybe you should listen to them.”

“Bitch, I’m from that other side. I don’t do no back and forth!

“Either we all in this or Pole Assassins is done. I’m not bringing any deadweight with me to the top.”

“It just feels like I’m working so hard for nothing. Like this shit never gets easier.”

“You’ve always had a nasty spirit on you and I see why you have no friends.”

“Do you really even want to marry me? Or do you feel like you have to because you couldn’t have who you really wanted?”

“I can’t do this..oh my godddd!”

“I wonder why I’m still here sometimes. I just feel like I don’t want to see another year.”

“He’s lost his fucking mind, truly..”

“It’s them..or me. Make your choice.”

“Everybody in this room can kiss my ass. Fuck every last one of y’all and I mean that from my soul.”

Welcome to Miami!

“This is going to be crazy.”

New episodes every week!

[antoinettevanessa-blog]

Fortified Wager ♤♤♤ 𝘊𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘳 1

♦︎♦︎ Aventurine x Reader ♦︎♦︎ 𝕀𝕝𝕝𝕦𝕤𝕥𝕣𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕕

🄱🄰🄲🄺 🅃🄾 【Ｐｒｏｌｏｇｕｅ】

╔══ ≪ ♤♤♤ ≫ ══╗

Yours was a meeting not meant to be.

“—Should we check out that famous nightclub, Primavera?”

It all began when your friends invited you for a night out.

“C’mon, we should let loose! Our finals just wrapped up today!”

Your friend smiled at you, pleading with her gaze.

Inside, your introverted self and your wallet were screaming, ‘nooo!’

“Sure.” You answered.

Truthfully, you only really tagged along after they promised to treat you. Who could say no to free food, especially from such an exclusive place?

Not you, definitely.

Besides, you’d never gone to a nightclub before.

The moment you set foot inside, you were overwhelmed by the dazzling neon lights and blaring loud music.

Your friends immediately stepped into the dance floor, having the time of their lives, and you followed suit. Only for a bit.

You decided you had enough of brushing and stumbling against total strangers, on top of performing a series of stiff movements that outclassed even a robot, and went to see what the bar had to offer.

...Or more like, what your part-timer, broke ass college student wallet allowed you to have.

Because it was a regular weekday, the bar wasn’t overly crowded, you sat on one of the bar stools. The nice bartender asked for your order. It wasn’t every day that you get to sit in such a fancy place, so you ordered something daring.

Before long, your colorful, alcoholic beverage made its way to you in a tall glass, with a cute tiny umbrella on the side.

As bold as you were, you were still sane, so instead of downing it in one go, you took a little sip through the straw.

It tasted sweet at first, yet left a bitter aftertaste—not that you minded.

You took more small sips, drowning out the booming music with your thoughts, which was becoming increasingly difficult with the next table hosting its own party.

Out of curiosity—and slight annoyance—you sneaked a glance, wanting to see what the fuss was about.

The next table was surrounded by a bunch of dapper men dressed in well-tailored suits. Since their attire all had something in common, you concluded that it was a uniform of some kind. They were probably employees from the same company.

Cards and chips were scattered on the table.

You could tell what they were doing at a glance.

Inwardly, you grimaced in disapproval.

Then again, you were in a nightclub. What did you expect? A group of men holding candles as they recited a prayer for a sacred mass?

Among them, two men were sitting across from each other. The moment you laid eyes on one of them—the blond guy on the right—you momentarily forgot how to breathe.

Locks of his tousled, blond hair, which flowed to his nape, shimmered under the flashing neon lights. Sometimes blue. Sometimes pink. Sometimes gold.

His purplish, cyan eyes were serene, devoid of any worries. A smile tugged at his supple lips as he casually glanced at his cards.

If not for those around him, you’d have believed that he had emerged the victor.

However, seeing how fervently those across him were booing him, and in turn, cheered for the other guy... Right, the other guy, that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

As for those on his side, at first, it may seem as if they were smiling, but it didn’t take long for you to realize that they were sneering.

It was as if they only stood there to laugh at the blond man’s cards and berate him for it.

How did you know that?

By that point, as the game between the two gentlemen grew more heated, more and more people started to gather around them, forming a crowd.

A sneak peek wouldn’t hurt.

As such, you, with your now neglected drink, scooted over to the table.

That was how some of their gleeful conversations reached your ears.

“...His luck has run out.”

“Seems like it.”

“He can only pray that Mr. Duane will show him some mercy, which I doubt will happen, since he’s been eyeing that position for a while.”

...Which wasn’t the kind of tea you’d expect from such a settlement, but okay.

‘Avgin’? Is that his name?

But why does it sound familiar...

You glanced at the other guy—the supposed ‘Mr. Duane’—right as he stood up with both hands on the table, leaning over the blond man as if looking down on him.

“—Good luck on not ending up in a ditch somewhere tomorrow! You should’ve agreed to let me take over when I was still being nice!”

His breath reeked of alcohol. Gross. Make senses, looking at all the champagne glasses strewn around his side of the table. As for his looks, it was ehh, compared to the guy who sat across from him, he was just—

“—What’s the hurry? The night has just begun.”

The instant that carefree yet melodious voice entered your ear, you forgot everything else as tension left your body. Only then did you realize that you were gripping your glass tightly.

A second later, it dawned on you how absurd it was.

What on earth were you doing?

These gentlemen were wearing custom-tailored uniforms studded with authentic jewels, sipping glass after glass of premium wine, so they probably had a high-profile job.

What they had squandered, they could easily recover tomorrow.

As for you, you only had the remaining hours of today before returning to the college grind tomorrow. It would be best for you to leave that silly little show behind.

“If you know what’s best for you, you’ll forfeit this game!”

In contrast to Mr. Duane, who was getting riled up for some reason, the blond stranger was relaxed.

“But why? Didn't you say you'd show me the ropes? Is this all you've got? Just when things were starting to get fun...”

See? Even the blond gentleman himself is unfazed. He acts like a child whose toy was taken away!

Therefore, this has to be a game.

A game with no real stake...

“—You damned Avgin! Let's see if you can still smile when I charge you with scamming the IPC and have you shot on the spot!”

You were about to turn on your heels when Mr. Duane spat out those words.

It was at that moment when you learned that 'Avgin' wasn’t just any name, but more of a derogatory slur, and that these people were chastising him for reasons beyond just being dealt a bad hand.

...Then again, rich people were just messed up like that.

It had nothing to do with you.

Those behind the blond man began to pile on him.

“Hey, if you beg, you might still be able to work for us...”

So what if losing would cost him more than just a few bucks?

“We all know it’s a harsh world for an Avgin out there. Don’t be so stubborn.”

So what if no one was really on his side?

“Your arrogance will be the end of you...”

So what if everyone was secretly hoping for his defeat all along?

Gambling’s stupid anyway!

You were getting worked up for no reason!

He was a grown man! He was perfectly capable of standing up for himself! Instead of shrugging those hurtful comments off with a smile... A smile so sad.

You tried to collect yourself. You didn’t understand where all of these emotions were coming from. Besides your own sense of self-righteousness and newfound attachment towards that dangerously handsome stranger, of course.

The situation was steadily worsening for the blond gambler, evident from the mounting pile of chips on the other guy’s side of the table.

Mr. Duane laughed out loud while his buddies snickered behind him. Those who stood behind the blond gambler were grinning. As for the blond man himself, he was staring listlessly at his cards for some reason, with an empty smile plastered across his face.

His wrist was hanging powerlessly, seemingly ready to drop what little was left of his cards and throw the game.

Did all of those offensive remarks finally get to him?

Seeing that, something inside you fell, and a bleak gasp escaped your lips.

...No way.

Only then did you realize it.

Deep down, were you hoping for him to win all along?

You clenched your fists.

As the sudden realization hit you, Mr. Duane and his cronies started pestering him again.

“There’s no harm in giving up, you know.”

“Sometimes you just have to accept defeat.”

At that moment, quietly, sincerely, you prayed in your heart—

“—SHOW THEM!! SHOW THEM WHAT YOU GOT!! DON’T LOSE!!”

Please win.

...Or at least, that was how it was supposed to be, until your mouth decided to outrun your heart.

Alcohol. It was the alcohol’s fault.

You were frozen in place, reeling from the embarrassment.

It went without saying that you successfully garnered the attention of those around you, and above all, of the pair of cyan layering on violet eyes.

They were widened in shock as the owner turned around in your direction.

It's unclear whether he caught sight of you, as by that point, you had already run away as fast as you could.

Not going back to that nightclub for a second time was pretty much a certainty by that point, and not because of financial constraints.

🂡 🂠 🂣 🂠

...Apparently, the blond gambler did win in the end.

Once again, how did you know this?

...It went without saying that you couldn’t just gallop out of a nightclub with their cocktail glass still in hand. The bartender wouldn’t let you.

Also, during your panic moment, you unlocked a certain skill and somehow managed not to spill the drink, so the glass was still half-full. You couldn’t just leave your drink unfinished. The fact that you spent a huge chunk of your salary as a part-timer to buy it wouldn’t let you.

However, just as you went right back inside, a familiar guy hurried past you.

It was none other than Mr. Duane. He was fuming as he made big strides towards the exit. Considering that he was alone, it seemed that his coworkers were left behind.

It wasn’t difficult for you to get the full story, because by the time you returned to the bar section, the blond gambler had become the talk of everyone there, if not the entire nightclub. Of course, the game was long over.

Nevertheless, the winner wasn’t quite what everyone expected.

Yes, it wasn’t Mr. Duane, but Aventurine.

Aventurine.

You let that name roll over your tongue a few times.

Still, that wasn’t the end of it.

There was a foul play.

Mr. Duane was cheating. and the game itself was rigged in his favor. The guy even paid the dealer. In short, everything was an elaborate setup to get this Aventurine guy to surrender his position.

The fact that he still loses, though...

Well, now that everything was settled, Mr. Duane did sound like the whole circus, but that wasn’t what everyone was focusing on.

Apparently, as difficult as it was to believe, the setup was just THAT elaborate and Aventurine really, really wasn’t supposed to win.

He only did because he beat the guy at his own game.

No matter how perfect the plan was, Mr. Duane himself wasn’t impervious to making mistakes.

As Mr. Duane got one step closer to victory, he became more and more cocky, which resulted in a blunder and ultimately, his downfall.

Thus, Aventurine made a name for himself.

Hearing that, the cocktail you were sipping suddenly became all the sweeter.

Best night ever.

...Although, if you had one complaint...

“Congratulations, Mr. Aventurine! We know you’d win!”

“We always believe in you, Mr. Aventurine!”

Standing just a few seats away from you was the champion himself, along with his ‘entourage.’

What a bunch of suck-ups.

Yes, said ‘entourage’ was none other than those guys who were wishing for his defeat earlier.

Now that Aventurine had secured his position, the same couldn’t be said about them. After all, they did diss him, hence the ass-kissing.

You unconsciously sipped your drink faster.

Shameless. Utterly shameless, a bunch of them.

In fact, some who were standing quite nearby were still badmouthing Aventurine, being self-conscious enough to lower their voices.

You didn’t miss them, though.

“...He’s so full of himself.” One of them said.

“Yeah, smug bastard. He makes me sick.” Another replied.

...Well, as they say, loser talk.

All’s well that ends well.

Those were your most recent recollections of that bittersweet night.

╚══════╝

🄾🄽🅆🄰🅁🄳 🅃🄾 【Ｃｈａｐｔｅｒ　２】

𝕋𝕒𝕓𝕝𝕖 𝕠𝕗 ℂ𝕠𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕥

[acourtofthought]

Hi! I sent you an ask a couple of days ago and I'm not sure if you saw it because it was just before mother's day (btw, belated happy mother's day!!), but I'm interested in your opinion so I'm sending it again.

Although, if you simply didn't want to answer that particularly ask I'll understand and I apologize in advance for any inconvenience.

I've seen some Elriels using the line 'that love would trump even a mating bond' as some kind of foreshadowing or even a confirmation of their ship, but it's kind of starting to irritate me because I really can see it making a reference to Elucien.

Maybe I'm so desperate for an announcement that I'm grasping at any possible crumbs, but here's my logic:

Feyre and Nesta ran away from their mating bond the moment they found out or were confronted about it because it was the last shred of their humanity to hold. Imagine this situation amplified with Elain, who loved being human and the mundane things correlated with her humanity.

I can see her in denial regarding the bond until the last minute, but what she will not be able to control is the love she will eventually feel and nurture for Lucien once she gets the chance to really know him. It'll be her love for him, their love, that will finally allow her to overcome her prejudice against the bond and to finally be open to the magical, sacred, and eternal tie she has with Lucien.

So love would indeed trump a mating bond.

I'm sorry for my delay in responding and thank you for the Mothers Day wishes ❤️

It is a silly argument, isn't it? It's their big catch phrase to try to make E/riel more romantic than they are but with Sarah's writing, love always trumps the mating bond especially because as you said the mating bond is the thing that often puts a wedge between the FMC and MMC (at least in the ACOTAR series). To your point, Feyre was nearly ready to open her heart to Rhys then ran away from him when she found out about the bond. Nesta was willing to love Cassian but got into a big fight with him when he tried to call her mate. Elain is avoiding Lucien for the sole fact that they have a bond.

So these sisters are not picking these guys because they have a mating bond when it's the thing they are running from. The mating bond is the equivalent of a meet cute, fate saying "Hey!! This is someone I think you should meet!" but it's not the reason any of them fall in love. They fall in love for who the person is, their bravery, their kindness, their selflessness, etc.

How can E/riel's love trump a mating bond when it can't even trump a regular kind of love? I've never read Az or Elain giving a single reason for why they have feelings for the other. Elain has never spoken of Azriel's kindness towards her or his bravery. Az has never mentioned Elain's intelligence, humor or her bravery. I couldn't give you a single canon reason for what they like about the other whereas in the Cassian bonus he noted Nesta's steel and cunning mind. Where Rhys tells us he fell in love with Feyre, not because she was his mate, but because she wasn't afraid of him and she was defiant towards Amarantha. The Az bonus would have been a perfect time for us to witness exactly what it is they're drawn too but instead we have Az letting Rhys think he just wants her because he's jealous he didn't get a bond, that he was preparing to use her in place of a pleasure hall, we have him noting GWYN'S charming irreverence. And in the actual book we have Elain giving credit to Feyre for her rescue, Az claiming Elain shouldn't search for the trove with Amren reprimanding him and Az giving credit to Nesta for killing the king in HOFAS. So I am truly left confused because I don't see either of them saying anything complimentary about the other. Az likes how she looks and that she got him a gift but beyond that.....?????

And really, love on its own can't trump love with a mating bond because without a bond it's just love.

Not that there is anything wrong with "just love" but it's kind of like saying we're both eating brownies when in fact mine is a brownie sundae.

Brownie's are delicious, no one is turning their nose up at a brownie. But if my brownie has ice cream and hot fudge and whipped cream, there is something that sets my brownie apart from yours and no matter how good your brownie is, you still can't call your brownie a brownie sundae.

Love is love and all of it is beautiful.

But love WITH a mating bond is always going to be something a little extra and trying to spin it any other way is simply someone pretending they are eating ice cream with their brownie when they are actually not.

At present Elain and Lucien only have a mating bond, not love with a mating bond. But if their characters fall in love in one of the next books, they would have the brownie sundae, not just a brownie and the same cannot be said for e/riel.

[urbanflorals]

eugh i need irl friends so my parents dont think im totally hopeless

homeschool sucks sometimes

like i have ZERO

wait scratch that

ONE irl friend and she's in grade seven

and yeah idrc about the age difference but it'd be nice to have some friends who are my age and dont just gossip to me about the crazy shit that happens in ur pre-teen toxic as hell friend group

like NO i do not care that amelia was a bitch or the fact that samantha was talking shit about you

and also why you being so insensitive about people's family members dying?? ur friends using her uncle dying as a way to get more popular?? and ur lowkey not unhappy that HE DIED?? wtf is wrong with you all?? LIKE GENUINELY WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE???

YOU THINK I WANT TO HEAR ABOUT SHIT THAT PROBABLY SHOULD BE KEPT QUIET???

so yes i need new friends and when i say friends i mean actual friends who like me for me and don't judge me and let me be me and still accept me.

not someone who expects me to answer every single time they call and when i dont pick up spam call me complaining i never answer because unfortunately when you start doing shit like that it makes me NOT want to answer. but when i do yeah sure its nice to talk to someone outside of my family for a change.

but all i am is a person you can relay all your gossip to cause i can keep quiet. who would i tell?? you dont really give a shit about my life cause whenever we talk about me its somehow always constantly changed back to you.

and i let it happen because ✨ p e o p l e p l e a s e r ✨

my parents still pull me aside every now and then asking if i'm okay knowing that we aren't socialised very much and it hurts to not say yeah ive got friends online cause that would send them into panic mode

so yes

i. need. new. friends.

[xoxovalrea]

Ifhy. Fugishiro m. + !fem reader

🎀Based on this audio🎀

༊*·˚ Warnings-  hatefuck-ish, rude words, alcohol use, mentions of weed, dom megumi, sub reader, smut

༊*·˚ A/n: pretend megumi is gojos bsf cus this isn’t like yuji😇☺️

༊*·˚ Sypno: You’re at a party you came for one sole reason, your crush. Just to find out he has a gf. Butt things work out in the end.

⋆·˚ ༘ * MINORS DNI🕊️ ⋆·˚ ༘ *

You liked gojo for a while. A while as in one whole college semester and two weeks during the summer. To back track you gave up on him after a party a specific party at that was of course hosted by the man himself Gojo and his dick of a best friend megumi. You three were friends you and megumi were even in the same classes but there was always this tension between you guys.

Anyways, your bestie nobara heard about a party gojo is hosting. Of course being the best friend ever she encourages you to go because “he might see how hot you are and tap that i would too honestly” you hit her and you both laughed in response. 

Fast forwarding to the night of the party, you took a nap because shit you were fucking tired from all the beach trips you did previously throughout the week. You woke up two hours prior which was NOT enough time to get ready but who the hell shows up for a party the time it starts? You hopped in the shower cleaning off all the crusties and musties you had. You of course shaved EVERYTHING just in case Nobara was right. But you had a feeling the night would not go as planned. 

There wasn’t really a theme but you knew it was a typical house party. So you threw on a black halter top and a beige mini skirt you didn’t really care about with some black shoes. You sprayed some type of sweet smelling perfume on and called nobara.

“Bitch pick up“ you looked at the ringing facetime call. She finally answered looking like she was driving. “Heyyy you look cutee girlie” she smiled at you. “Thank you pooka what the fuck should i do to my hair pony with a side part or down with a side part” she nodded and held up a 1. You quickly did your hair and headed out of your apartment complex and saw nobara’s white honda civic in front of the place. 

“Hi my fav girl” you said as you entered her car. She was putting on some sort of lipgloss. She basically had on the same thing as you but with tan pants total copy cat.  “Soo have you even been talking to satoru.” She questioned as she started heading to the party. “Yea a bit he is just so damn hard to talk to like just a few weeks ago he texted so much and now im unadded on everything” She looked at you with disappointment in her eyes knowing you’re gonna spend this whole party sulking over him. Funny thing is you definitely didn’t well for the record you didn’t cry at all but you got upset and other things but for the record you didn’t cry

See what you didn’t know is megumi liked you and hated the fact that you were wrapped all around Satoru’s finger. He hated the fact that you would stare off at him and just blank out everytime you, him, and satoru hung out. He purposely let gojo fall inlove with another girl and he would casually just let gojo ghost you. He went as far as to even setting gojo up on a date just so he couldn’t have you. He wanted you to forget about him in more than one way.

Anyways, nobara just nodded and said “maybe you should try his bestfriend he’s pretty cute” you looked at her like she was crazy “oh he HATES my fucking guts nobara. he wants me dead like the stares he gives me are the worst” you whine she shrugs her shoulders and adds  “well maybe megs wants to rearrange them you know its always the quiet ones” she giggles as you punch her shoulder and blush. You guys arrive to the party at around 9:30 ish As soon as you step into the house the thick sent of weed engulfs your lungs. Yea you smoked every 5 months but that smell could be the worst but the best at the same time.

You see nobara walk off leaving you all alone. “Well just say fuck me huh” you mutter to yourself trying to find the kitchen. You see megumi pouring himself a drink a simple one at that rum and coke. “excuse me” you say pushing past him to get a cup and some pink Whitney and a sprite . He looked you up and down rolling his eyes and scoffing “all dressed up huh“ he says taking a sip of his drink. You finish pouring your drink, “yea i guess“ you laugh “well you look like a slut” he chuckles trying to insult you “you must like sluts“ you reply as you walk off to find nobara. Feeling his eyes piercing through your skull. Yea megumi was cute but his attitude was fucking terrible. 

As you walk around you see gojo kissing a girl. You felt every bone in your body twitch with not with hate just sadness. Being honest you only liked his attention he was cute but his attention was amazing. The playful texts the calls everything it was amazing. You felt a tear run down your face and you walked upstairs towards the bathroom bumping into megumi who scowled at you.

You gained your composure after a solid 5 minutes of standing in the mirror with a burning throat feeling you couldn’t even cry. You sat on the stairs scowling and pouting at gojo and his new girlfriend. She was beautiful really really beautiful. You were snapped out of your thoughts when someone pushed you. It was megumi standing infront of you. 

“Enjoying the view?” Megumi questions as he laughs. “Go to hell” you say looking up at him pouting. “Already there” you roll your eyes as he sits down next to you. “the outfit didnt work huh?” He pouts at you as you shift over. “You know you could probably fuck anyone here but your too focused on gojos dick” you roll your eyes again trying not to curse megumi out “you wanna bet?” You say out of confidence. “Oh you’d lose in an instant”

You remember what nobara said and sigh. You grab megumi’s hoodie and straddle his lap seeing his face tint pink. “Are you fucking crazy” you roll your eyes as if he isnt getting rock hard under you right now. “Your not even pushing me off dont deny it now” you laugh looking into his low glossy eyes. “Well fuck kiss me.” He says you hesitate a little looking at gojo who obviously isnt paying any mind to yall. You kiss him gently holding his face. You feel him get harder by the second as you grind on his lap trying to get some friction.

Megumi snakes his hands around your waist. He sighs a bit as he deepens the kiss and carries you into gojos room.  He quickly opens and shuts the door pushing you against the wall kissing you harder. He hooked his hands under your bra cupping your breasts.

“You’re such a slut you know that right?” You gasp in response as he pinches your nipples. You think about how wrong this is especially fucking Gojos best friend in his room. You snap out of your thoughts from the feeling of being picked up megumi still dominating your mouth as he sits you on the bed. “Come on baby open that pretty mouth let me fuck it” he unzips his pants pulling them down along with his underwear. Revealing his pale colored dick suprizingly he was pretty big. He shoved his length in your mouth making you gag violently. He groaned loudly as he slowly thrusted in your mouth picking up pace by the second.

“So fucking wet and warm” he growled as he fucked your throat at this point he should be in your lungs because you can barely breathe with his length. “Look at me pretty girl” he said as he held your face you looked at him with cock drunk eyes and spit running down your chin. He rolled his eyes and took his cock out of your mouth. “lay down and spread your legs” he ripped your skirt off examined the wet spot on your panties and whispered a low fuck. Yes you hated megumi but fuck it felt so good to see a man look at your body like a starved animal. He kissed up and down your thighs leaving small marks, finally he slid your panties off revealing your arousal and pocketed them. He kissed the soft fleash of your pussy then licked a long stripe from your hole to your clit. You shivered at the sensation after a long minute of licking he finally sucked your clit making your hand jolt to his hair.

You arched and moaned as megumi ate you out. Really his tounge was skilled the muscle knew every spot inside and out of your body. “More” you uttered out in pleasure and he added two fingers in. You gripped his hair tightly from the sudden stretch he growled as you tightened around him. His fingers hit every spot you couldn’t its like you hated him for making you feel this good but at the same time you loved every second of it. You didn’t realize how this whole time he was watching expressions until he spoke “no come on baby look at me look at me and cum all over my face” you opened your eyes as your orgasm suddenly began building up you were seconds from coming eyes tearing up body shaking you came all over his fingers he lapped up your sweet liquids and came up to kiss your neck.

“Surprisingly you taste really fucking good” you scoffed at him he chuckled and slapped your ass harshly “Say thank you” you rolled your eyes “for what? Gojo’s probably better” you knew what you were doing you’re making him jealous it really fucked him up seriously. He looked at you like you were fucking stupid “Take it back” you laughed repeating what you said “really okay” he kissed you roughly biting your lip making it bleed breaking the kiss then flipping you into doggy style pushing your head into gojos pillows slapping your ass harshly multiple times then slapping his dick on your pussy. He slid it in quickly thrusting in giving you no time to adjust. Your eyes were rolling back head foggy not even 10 minutes in thats how good his dick was. You tried not to moan loud but megumi didn’t like it he grabbed your neck and yanked your head back to look at him. “Come on moan like the slut you are” you had no choice really you moaned his name loud enough for the whole house to hear luckily the music was up extremely loud. “Megumi fuck too big I can’t-“ he shoved your head back into the pillows he hated the word ‘can’t’ it just wasn’t in his vocabulary.

“Fuck megumi please im sorry” you dont know how many orgasms or how many positions megumi put you in but you know he wasnt even close to cumming and you guys ended up on the floor. “No no you want gojo right dont even think about moaning my name slut.” He smacked your ass harshly as he twitched inside of you as you came again. “Sorry ‘m so so sorry” you say slurred he laughs as he watches your make up run down your hot cheeks biting your shoulders again “awhh you want my cum baby? Or you want gojo to fill you up?” You shake your head no violently he doesn’t take this as an answer and slaps your ass four times making you scream. “Please you i want only you please cum in me please” you moan as he rubs your clit violently groaning and picking up his speed as be finally climaxes inside of you. “Fuckk baby you feel so fucking good” he shutters as he pulls out putting his cum back in with his fingers. Fingering you slowly to your last climax. You arch your back and cry his name as you squirt all over his fingers with a slight shake as you slowly fall asleep.

He picks you up off the floor and places you on the bed seeing you fall asleep. He laughs and puts on his clothes and dresses you carrying your sleeping body over his shoulders down the stairs letting gojo and nobara you guys are leaving. You woke up in the morning groggy and sore from last nights events, you felt a hand pull you in closer as you tried to get away. “Stop fucking moving” you rolled your eyes but obliged when the not so mysterious man behind you kissed your neck. “Megumi stop” you rolled over and kissed his lips softly as he looked at you with sleepy eyes arms still wrapped around your waist. He buried himself in your breasts and fell back asleep you did the did same resting your chin in his hair.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚

      THE END💗

 This may be the last jjk fanfic I write as of rn😭 i gotta move on. Bye lovessss💗💗💗

[mumms-the-word]

Illithid Souls - Part 2

The Case Studies: Tav/Durge and Orpheus

In Part 1, I went over some of the basics of what a soul normally is, where souls go after death, and whether mind flayers have souls. I ultimately ended up saying that most humanoids have apostolic souls (souls that deities recognize as being capable of divine worship), while mind flayers have some other kind of soul, one that isn't recognizable by deities or devils. This is why Jergal and Mystra and so on think that illithid don’t have souls. When a humanoid with an apostolic soul turns into a mind flayer, their soul is either ejected and moves on to the Fugue Plane, or their soul is transformed into a non-apostolic soul (depending on what you want to believe).

But the problem is, that's normal lore, and BG3 has made things a little strange by imbuing all the tadpoles that infect our characters with Netherese magic. And that, friends, makes the BG3 mind flayers different.

This post is going to look at some interesting context from the game for the Emperor, Tav/Durge and Orpheus. (It got pretty long so I'm moving Karlach and Gale to a third post.) We're going to figure out whether the rules about mind flayers and souls change now that there's Netherese magic involved. The ultimate answer is yes, but how? And is it consistent?

(Spoiler: it isn't, but you can use this lore to come up with your own theories and ideas)

Let's take another deep dive! Buckle up, and don't worry, I have a short summary at the bottom.

The Case of the Emperor

I'm actually not going to linger too long on the Emperor because for many reasons he breaks the lore. If he's Balduran and a mind flayer, he shouldn't have lived as long as he says he's lived. Not only that, his memory is allegedly flawless when the lore states he shouldn't remember any of his previous life (there are other inconsistencies too, but that's a different post). However, I do want to touch on a couple of things.

The Emperor both is and isn't our baseline for how a mind flayer normally exists. He should be a normal lore-accurate mind flayer (though a rogue one), because he wasn't infected with a Netherese-touched tadpole. But he's a Special Mind Flayer instead, for reasons we don't entirely understand (again, he generally breaks the lore). Perhaps this is because of his brush with Gortash and the other Chosen of the Dead Three, or perhaps he just somehow has a strong enough personality that when he broke free of an elder brain's compulsion a lot of his memories came back to him. Who knows?

But regardless, a few conversations with him reinforce the idea that mind flayers typically aren't completely soulless. At the very least, they still contain memories (he has his memories of his time as Balduran), intelligence (he's a schemer, that's for sure), and personality/emotions:

Emperor: You think that mind flayers are soulless husks who feel nothing. Belynne thought the same at first. You are wrong. Feeling is vital to the pursuit of anyone's goals. Even a mind flayer's. Like you, mind flayers know fear. Like you, we crave recognition. But unlike you, unlike the others of my kind, I am no slave to either. My end is and has always been freedom.

We can quibble about whether or not he's manipulating the player here, but his words are generally true. As discussed in part 1, mind flayers are not soulless husks. When they're enthralled, they might be more devoid of independent thinking, but they have emotions/feelings and can create memories. They just might have a smaller range of emotion than humanoids do (thus his reference to "not being a slave" to fear or desire) and their memories might not be entirely their own (more on that with Karlach in part 3).

Regardless, the Emperor is our leading authority for what it's like to be a mind flayer, so we're sort of forced to trust him when we ask him to explain what full ceremorphosis is about to do to us, especially because its his Supreme Tadpole that is about to change us.

Player: What would happen to me? Emperor: You would be altered in mind, body, and soul beyond all recognition.

So this is interesting. Altered in mind and body, that's a given. Altered in soul, though...what does that mean?

Remember in Part 1 where I offered two theories about what happens to the original soul of someone undergoing ceremorphosis? Theory 1: they just die and the soul moves on to the Fugue Plane, and the mind flayer gets a new illithid soul from...somewhere. Theory 2: The soul transforms and remains tethered to the mind flayer body, different than it was before (potentially unrecognizable as the original soul, but some elements of the original may remain).

The Emperor's words suggest more of theory 2 here. But is that, in fact, what happens when we become illithid? Well...let's find out.

The Case of Tav and Durge (or most Origin runs)

When you do turn into a mind flayer, the narrative typically focuses on how powerful you feel. Your mind and body feel as though they are one and you are also desperately hungry. There isn't much in the Narrator's dialogue or your dialogue with your friends to suggest that your soul has been completely obliterated, though.

In fact, there's an interesting moment that happens if you turn into a mind flayer without the Emperor there and go up to Orpheus still in his cage. The way I accomplished this was to ask to change into a mind flayer so the Emperor would give me the Supreme Tadpole, then I said I would change later, then stopped the Emperor from consuming Orpheus so he would leave. Then I used the Supreme Tadpole to turn into a mind flayer and went to examine Orpheus.

Narrator: *His eyes are unseeing, his voice silenced. But even with his mind caged, you can feel his power. You can almost taste the fluid beneath his scalp, cushioning that sweet, dense brain, and the power within it. You are hungry.* Lae'zel: I see that look, I know that look. Don't you dare. Player: [Wisdom Check] Cling to your former nature. Quash your hunger. This is not who you are. Narrator: *Your mind and body whine with disappointment. But your soul lets out a gentle thrum of relief.*

I find this fascinating for a couple of reasons. One, the check I chose (there are two, the second is a strength check) meant reaching out to a "former" nature and reminding myself (or my Tav's self) that this is not who she is. When I succeeded, my Tav's mind and body protested, but her soul was filled with relief.

So she has a soul! And it seems to be her own soul, but perhaps transformed. So this sort of supports theory 2, that perhaps when humanoids turn into mind flayers, their soul is altered. This could also just be a quirk specific to those infected with a Netherese tadpole, or even further, someone who transformed using the Emperor's Supreme Tadpole.

Because here's the thing. When Tav/Durge, Orpheus, Companion!Karlach, or any Origin character transforms into a mind flayer using the Supreme Tadpole, they become a special mind flayer. This is mostly due to the Netherese magic, which adds some weird and undefined changes to the whole mind flayer thing. I'm going to use "I guess it's the Netherese magic/Supreme Tadpole" as a scapegoat this entire post because I don't know what else to point to to explain how these guys are just Different Than Your Average Mind Flayer, so be prepared for that. But at the very least, we know something's different.

In fact the Narrator literally says you're probably different than the average mind flayer after you defeat the Netherbrain!

Narrator: *You are a mind flayer, the very thing you sought to eradicate. Whatever self you still possess is quickly ebbing away. Your friends and enemies alike are ripe for manipulation, and if not manipulation, then consumption. Soon you will be able to trust yourself at all. You will be a monstrosity beyond redemption. Or not. Perhaps you are unique among illithid-kind. Perhaps you will retain enough of who you are to resist your nature. A rogue mind flayer. Like the Emperor. The risk is certainly yours to take - will you?*

Unlike normal mind flayers who lose most of their memories (and allegedly most of their personality/former selves) almost immediately after transforming, it takes Tav/Durge/most Origins longer to lose that sense of self, if indeed they lose it at all. The Narrator suggests we might be losing parts of ourselves, but there's a chance we're unique and might retain our sense of selves.

We do see glimpses of us retaining our personalities in the epilogue of course, but what is more interesting is if you decide to imprison yourself post-ceremorphosis. Withers will visit you in prison for a final conversation. (This conversation shifts a little if you're a Durge, but here is the Tav conversation.)

Withers: Thou remainest in thy chains. A hero, sacrificed. I told thee once that an illithid hath no soul, and yet...something glimmerest about thee. Something is not lost. Dost thou feel it? The spark of the divine within thee? Or does thy hunger consume thee? Player: [Option 1] I'm still myself. I don't know if I belong here. Player: [Option 2] I feel the hunger. But I feel myself, too. I'm not sure which to trust. Player: [Option 3] Have you come to torment me with hypotheticals, old friend? Player: [Option 4] Does it matter? This is my life now.

If you go with option 4, you hear Withers ponderingly say, "Thy life...yes..." before moving on to say that fate isn't done with you yet, which is his response to all the other options as well.

But the more important thing is that even Jergal recognizes a "spark of the divine" within you. Your soul should either be cast off and already wandering the Fugue Plane (if going with theory 1) or so completely transformed that it's no longer an apostolic soul that Jergal would be able to recognize as a god. Yet Jergal recognizes the soul within your mind flayer body as being...well, partly apostolic.

Interesting!

We get a similar dialogue if you sacrifice yourself as a mind flayer, too, though this is fascinating because now it's Withers literally finding your soul (still shaped like a mind flayer, which is interesting) somewhere that is...very gray. There's a suggestion that this might be in the Fugue Plane, or in some limbo state where souls sometimes end up, but regardless, Withers, the soul-finder himself, was able to track down your lingering soul.

Withers: Thou flickerest in the dark - but with mine keen eye, I hath scryed thee. I told thee once that an illithid hath no soul, and yet thou seemest to have something of the spirit about thee. I cannot account for it. How delightful. Tell me, how doth it feel to roam about as thou art now, transformed? Player: [Option 1] Where am I? [mumm's note: he basically doesn't answer this question lol] Player: [Option 2] I still feel like myself. My memories, my feelings - all intact. Withers: No matter how many aeons I have roamed this world and beyond, I am ever-surprised by mysteries new and old.

Even Withers is surprised that the soul you have is something he not only recognizes as a soul, but as your soul. I love how amused and intrigued he sounds when he says "I cannot account for it. How delightful." He even smiles when he says it. He thinks you're super neat! And also a new phenomenon.

(As an aside, I wonder if you being mind-flayer-shaped but still recognizable as you is a hint that your soul did indeed transform to be illithid, but didn't fully transform into a non-apostolic soul like normal illithids would. Like, I wonder if your soul is now half-apostolic and just permanently mind-flayer-shaped. RIP. But this would explain why bringing you back via True Resurrection is kind of a nonviable option since you'd just come back as a mind flayer, and this is the ending where you took your own life to avoid being a mind flayer for forever, so I doubt you'd even want to come back if you couldn't come back to your original body. Things to ponder!)

Anyway, you having something that has glimpses, sparks, or hints of the divine/the spirit about you does tell us that as a mind flayer, your soul wasn't destroyed. It may have been transformed, but you're not as soulless as you thought you were going to be, and you're actually still pretty close to being who you were before the transformation.

Close, but not perfectly or exactly like you were before. You did transform, after all. But these changes become more obvious in other examples, such as with Karlach.

You having a partly-apostolic soul that retains all its memories and most of its original personality is obviously VERY unique and different to what most mind flayers experience. For example, if you turn yourself illithid and then free Orpheus (again, see the same steps above, but go a step farther and actually free him this time), then Orpheus will be utterly shocked that you're capable of independent thought.

Orpheus: What is this... A mind flayer in possession of its mental faculties? This is the stuff of fables. It is as if I am reliving the legend of Oryndoll. You are the illithid Urengol, rebelling against your own hivemind. And I am the noble githyanki Valraag who must now reconsider his position. An illithid capable of rebelling against the Netherbrain's instruction... Not only capable but willing... If your intentions are as righteous as they seem, this is an advantage I cannot overlook. An advantage that must be grasped, for our enemy is formidable indeed. Very well. I propose an alliance.

A couple of notes here: Oryndoll is/was a real mind flayer colony far, far below the surface in the southern regions of Faerûn (beneath the Shining Plains). Not only is it ancient, but the wealth of knowledge stored inside via illithid technology rivals and probably even surpasses that of Candlekeep's library. There's at least one book in the game that talks about a foolish drow adventurer searching for Oryndoll, only to end up a mind flayer, while another hints at Oryndoll's role in the history of the Duergar race. But these are the only mentions of Oryndoll in the game.

Oryndoll has a history in D&D lore, but there's no mention of Urengol and Valraag (that I could find). If this is a fable Orpheus knows, it's apparently so ancient that only he remembers it. But that itself is interesting, because it makes Urengol his closest reference to you having become a rogue, independently-thinking, and emotionally driven mind flayer. He can't think of any other examples, that's how unique you are.

The most important thing here is that Orpheus literally considers your independently thinking self as so baffling, so impossible, it should only exist in fables. That, I think, says a lot.

The next question is, does he think he would become just as unique?

The Case of Orpheus

We all know Orpheus can be convinced to turn into a mind flayer and sacrifice his soul for his people. I'm sure he genuinely does think he is sacrificing his soul, as there is no real precedent that he or anyone else seems to know of for a person who turns into a mind flayer and keeps their soul (or at least keeps their same memories, personality, and intelligence). But if he's surprised that he's kept all his memories after turning illithid, he doesn't really show it.

You can ask him about it, of course, after he's turned into a mind flayer and after you've defeated the Netherbrain. His response is kind of interesting.

Player: You're a mind flayer, but you're still you, aren't you? Orpheus: Yes. But for how long? My mind screams. It will never stop until it has slipped away from me entirely.

No one else seems to define their illithid experience this way. I'm curious if his mind screaming is referring to the hunger he feels, the same hunger he is actively trying to resist, but he doesn't elaborate on this. Regardless, he's certain that while he has retained his personality (and probably his soul) for now, it's not going to last.

This is why he asks for an honorable death after the defeat of the Netherbrain.

Player: You don't deserve to die. Orpheus: I will not be ghaik! I did what I did to save my people. [...] The rest is up to them. Someone else must rise within the ranks to lead the revolution against Vlaakith. Give me my freedom from this form, release my soul to the Astral Seas while I still have one to call my own.

Orpheus believes that he only has a temporary grasp on his soul or consciousness, which may or may not have transformed into a different kind of soul. Then again, if he thinks his soul is going to the Astral Seas, maybe it doesn't matter whether his soul was transformed from apostolic to non-apostolic. I'm not even sure if githyanki have apostolic souls at all, since they wouldn't really be interested in the deities that govern matters on the Material Plane. I mean, for a long time Lae'zel wants her soul to be eaten by Vlaakith (a literal lich queen who eats souls) via "ascension" so...

I also have no idea if his soul, once released to the Astral Seas, would be mind-flayer-shaped. I guess that's the great mystery. I would assume yes, but I also don’t know how souls manifest in the Astral Seas and finding sources on this has been difficult (it all boils down to “ask your DM”).

Orpheus can be convinced to stay alive and just hang out in a far-off "corner of these realms" to watch his people fight against Vlaakith from afar, and there's kind of a hint that him agreeing to do this means he isn't actually afraid he'll lose his entire soul. But at this point, we're getting too far into "maybes" and "what ifs" to suggest anything concrete.

Quick picture break of Orpheus contemplating the Supreme Tadpole to break up the text (I just thought it was a good shot)

Now I do have to acknowledge two things about Orpheus: one, he could be a special mind flayer precisely because of his unique abilities to shield his mind from elder brain compulsion, which means his unique abilities could also be the reason why he retains so much of his personality and therefore his soul. Since most of the time you end up eating his brain and absorbing his abilities, this could also explain why you retain so much of your own soul if you become a mind flayer instead.

In this scenario, you’re a special mind flayer because (1) you have a Netherese tadpole, (2) you transformed using the Supreme Tadpole, and (3) then you ate Orpheus’s brain. All three elements could be at play.

But not everyone eats Orpheus’s brain, so that theory has holes. I genuinely think you just end up being a special mind flayer because of the Netherese magic that messes with your tadpole. The Supreme Tadpole plus Orpheus’s abilities would only be the icing on the cake, so to speak.

The second thing I want to acknowledge is that there’s a glaring plothole for Orpheus even turning into a mind flayer at all, if you play the game a certain way. If you send the Emperor away to free Orpheus before the Emperor gives you the Supreme Tadpole (for example if you send Lae’zel over to smash the chains holding Orpheus captive without talking to the Emperor, which is what I did one time, and the Emperor was literally like “don’t talk to me again bye” and left), then how does he turn into a mind flayer? He doesn’t have a tadpole and you don’t have the Supreme Tadpole to give to him.

He gets around this with you or Karlach by saying he’ll lower his mental shields so that your tadpole hears the Netherbrain’s orders to transform and then replace the shields again.

Orpheus: My defences keep the voice of the Absolute out, but just as I can raise them, so I can lower them. I will allow the voice of the Absolute in. Once it reaches you, it will order you to transform. It will only take a moment. And once you are a mind flayer, I will fold you under my protection once more. You will be the saviour of empires, not least my own. Narrator: *With the withdrawal of Orpheus' power, your mind is rushed with the full force of the Netherbrain. You feel a compulsion unlike anything you've ever known - excruciating and exhilarating in equal measure. You wish nothing in the world but to evolve. Then - complete silence, as you are once again closed off from the Netherbrain's mind.*

So that makes sense, and it means you being a special mind flayer could boil down to your personality being hella strong + you being infected with a special Netherese tadpole. In this scenario, the Supreme Tadpole can’t be used to explain your unique soul-keeping abilities, and neither can you attribute your soul-keeping abilities to consuming Orpheus's brain (since he's still alive). So maybe the Supreme Tadpole and/or Orpheus's brain doesn’t have any effect on why you keep your mostly-unaltered soul.

In the end I guess it’s just the weird Netherese tadpole that does the trick? Honestly, I wonder if it all boils down to the fact that the Netherese tadpole doesn't eat your brain, it just lies dormant and incubating in your head, so you're not losing brain matter. (But this ignores or forgets that when you eat other tadpoles you literally watch them burrow into your brain matter so I'm sure the magic has something to do with it too.)

But anyway this still doesn’t explain why Orpheus, who shouldn’t have a tadpole, somehow turns into a mind flayer by, I don’t know, manifesting it??? Or why he is also a unique mind flayer once he does this without the Supreme Tadpole. I mean in his case I’m sure it is because he has special mind shield abilities but still. How did he turn into a mind flayer without a tadpole? Make it make sense, Larian.

He literally just touches his head with a psionic magic effect, which is the same gesture he uses to lower his mental shield to allow the Netherbrain to force you to transform. It's also interesting that if you have him transform using the Supreme Tadpole, then he doesn't say anything as he accepts the tadpole from you and absorbs it. But if you have him change without the tadpole, then he says, "The Netherbrain will be only too pleased to claim me."

Which...kind of implies that he's somehow able to communicate with the Netherbrain or hear its voice, so...maybe he secretly does have a tadpole? I mean, a popular theory is the Emperor probably did tadpole Orpheus off-screen since he seems to have a level of compulsion over Orpheus, but this is never explained or mentioned in the game so do whatever you want with that theory.

But I digress.

Let's do a quick summary, shall we?

TLDR: You're probably a super special mind flayer who gets to keep their soul mostly intact (or mostly unaltered) because your tadpole was imbued with Netherese magic and generally doesn't eat your brain. You might also be super special because you transformed using the Supreme Tadpole (optional) and/or consumed Orpheus's brain (also optional). Orpheus might be a super special mind flayer simply because he's Orpheus, and that is why he can still retain most of his soul/personality, even though he keeps thinking he's going to lose it. His status as special mind flayer seems unchanged whether he transformed using the Supreme Tadpole or not, so it really must be an Orpheus Thing.

Phew. That was a lot. And honestly, Karlach and Gale only complicate things, so they're going in a separate post. Keep an eye out for Part 3!

~*~*~

You made it to the end!!! Amazing, you deserve an achievement or something, but all I have are more gold stars.

✨⭐️🌟⭐️✨⭐️🌟⭐️✨

Tags for those who wanted the update! @galesdevoteewife @stuffforthestash

[morverenmaybewrites]

Hi! I'm so glad your back, Pizza Girl is my favorite fanfic of all time!!!

I have a question, about Jason's life as a adopted son of Bruce Wayne, particularly his relationship with Batfamily (especially Dick and Barbara).

During Jasons POV, he often reflects on this time as being warm and homely, easly more comfortable than his previous conditions of living (duh, but still, positive aspects). Buuut, while thinking about his relationship with members of the family, as much as he appreciates the company and patience, he often remembers feeling scared of being thrown away if he makes a mistake, and rarely mentions bonding time with his siblings.

But on the other hand, from Dick's POV, (that I think is more reliable, because Jason's POV is influenced by his abandonment related trauma), it's painfully, heartbreakingly obvious that he loves Jason like a little brother, and that both before and now he still cares and wishes to have a better relationship with him. Similarly Barbara, who's uncondicionably there for him.

So i was thinking, do you have any headcannons for how was their time together before the kidnapping? Its mentioned that it was hard for Jason to open up, but was there time when they managed to do this? What did they like about each other, did they have favorite activities to do together in their civilian lives?

(I feel like I'm asking for fluff but in reality it's tragedy knowing what inevitably happened)

Ayt, I had been putting off answering these for a while because I had a hard time articulating my thoughts on the matter. I still have a hard time articulating my thoughts, so I'm going to try and break it down.

Jason's Relationship with Bruce

I think for the most part, Jason's relationship with Bruce was informed by the fact that while Bruce deeply loved Jason, he didn't love him in the way Jason needed.

By the time the two of them met, Jason was already deeply scarred by his experiences. He was born into one of Gotham"s poorest districts, to two parents who were neglectful at best and abusive at worst.

So when he was plucked off the grimy streets of Park Row and placed into the Wayne Manor, and got told that now, he is another man's son. I imagine the change would have rattled anyone, let alone a street rat who was used to just barely surviving.

Suddenly, there was food whenever he wanted.

Suddenly, he had a bed, the sheets warm and clean and the mattress so soft that he's scared it will swallow him.

Suddenly, he had a family.

And oh, how deeply hard it was to believe that it was all for him.

I imagine he spent most of those early days waiting for the rug to be pulled out underneath him. For him to wake up one day to find himself back in Crime Alley, an orphan once more.

So a lot of his time in Wayne Manor was actually colored by paranoia that, eventually, they will get bored of him, like a rich socialite getting bored of a yapping dog when it goes out fashion.

He spent most of his time trying to prove himself to Bruce, being the best at what he can be, because you don't throw useful things away.

(It does not help that during this time, Bruce was still reeling from his fight with Dick, and ended up comparing Jason to Dick a lot, something that deeply damaged Jason.).

I think that while Bruce deeply Jason, he just wasn't able to provide the sort of loving environment one should provide to a damaged child. He gave him a home, he gave him food, and shelter, and I imagine that if Jason was the type to ask for things (he wasn't), Bruce would have given it to him without a second thought.

But he also gave him the Robin suit, and a responsibility that was, in truth, far too heavy to place on the shoulders of a child. I think Jason probably treated being Robin as a way to "earn" his position into Wayne Manor.

Batman, after all, needed a sidekick.

And Jason was desperate to give them a reason to let him stay.

But I think, that Jason's time with the Joker also colored how he perceives Bruce (how can it not). It made him forget that they had good days, too. And a lot of them.

Because Bruce did care about Jason. He was patient whenever Jason would explode into fits of anger, he let him have the run of the library, they'd talk about their favorite books, ways to better their arsenal. If they had time, I think the relationship would have turned into something beautiful.

If they had time, I think they would have been the two people in the family who understood each other best.

(But sadly, they did not have time. And these days, the memory of him makes Jason run cold.).

Jason's Relationship with Dick

They actually didn't have much of a relationship! It's something that Dick regrets and wishes to fix.

I headcanon that Jason was adopted shortly after Dick's fight with Bruce and his subsequent departure with Bludhaven. During this time, I think that Dick was busy trying to establish his own life, find his own identity. He didn't have much time to come back to Wayne Manor and get to know his new brother.

Whenever he did come by though, Dick did make an effort with Jason, and I think that mattered.

It mattered too, that he and their father were as different as night and day. While Bruce was subdued and muted, Dick was animated, chattering constantly. Asking questions.

On rare occasions, he'd take Jason out to someplace fun, joking that Bruce's idea of fun would be going through the criminal files.

He was a good big brother, when he was there. But most of the time, he was not. And that made it easier for the Joker to make Jason believe that he didn't care.

Jason's relationship with Barbara

I think that, aside from Alfred, Barbara is the closest to Jason.

While Dick was busy trying to establish himself as Nightwing and Bruce was being...Bruce, it was Barbara who took it upon herself to be Jason's mentor.

She'd often look out for him during patrols, give him pointers during training, and she'd also make it a point to make sure that Jason would be able to relax.

If the Batfam ever organized a movie night or an outing to the city park, it was because of her.

A part of Jason definitely remembers this, which is why at the start of the story, Barbara is the only one he bothers keeping in contact with.

[composeregg]

Honestly as someone who is partially adopted,

The fact that the doctor didn't go to the biological mother, let her walk away, didn't need to find that information, is so...

My mom was a single mother for a few years, because my bio father didn't stick around. My dad is the one she married, the one who raised me, the one who celebrates adoption day with me.

Ruby has her family. I get wanting to know, wanting to understand, and it's clear she does want that, but she doesn't need that. Her mom makes the point of being glad she didn't find anyone because she's ruby's mom

And there's not enough stories out there where that's just accepted. My biological father tried to get in touch with me when I turned 19 and I told him to fuck off (well, i didn't respond so my mom did with my permission), because he's not my dad. I don't have an interest in seeing him, in getting to know him.

"Aren't you curious?" No, not really!

I get the idea of wanting Ruby to secretly be alien-ish since we dont know her genetics but... there's something special to me, for her to be an ordinary girl. A foundling, adopted. Her biological relations not mattering because her family is the one she HAS

That means a lot to me

[crescentfool]

does anyone else want to stick these two in the same room together or is that just me... i simply think they are adjacent in vibes... (+a bonus thing???)

get u a fictional guy that makes you feel like this... seeing these guys just evoke a Similar Kind of Brain Chemical and Response. Help Me.

also have bonus yosuke doodle featuring the same brushes used here...! from january 23rd, lol.

[cluescorner]

Arlecchino's whole deal is unbelievable

Arlecchino: Huh I wonder what's causing my weird powers? I can't really worry about that right now tho, I've gotta become King and then kill my "Mother".

*Kills Clervie and "Mother"*

Arlecchino: Huh I wonder why I was able to defeat a Fatui Harbinger when I'm like 17 or so? I can't really worry about that right now tho, I've gotta be in jail and become a Harbinger.

*Is in jail for a while and becomes a Harbinger*

Arlecchino: Huh I wonder why I am-

Pierro: Hey what's up hello, anyways you're descended from the Crimson Moon Dynasty of Khaenri'ah. I'm sure that this is a lot for you to take in so-

Arlecchino: Ok.

Pierro: ...You're just cool with that?

Arlecchino: IDK maybe? I can't really worry about that at the moment, I'm a father now. This orphanage full of children I love (who also are child soldiers and are not allowed to leave or else I'll execute them except maybe now I'm just gonna wipe their memories IDK I'm morally complex) isn't gonna run itself.

*Runs the orphanage/spy recruitment initiative*

Me, the fucking player: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ARE KHAENRI'AN? WHY WASN'T THIS BROUGHT UP IN YOUR FUCKING QUEST?? OR ANYTHING ELSE????

Arlecchino, talking to me through my phone: I honestly don't know why you care, I'm too busy to give a shit. Anyways, I'm gonna go fight fate itself I guess. I'm sure that I don't share any thematic parallels with any other Khaenri'an characters (particularly as it relates to acting and family angst) and that I haven't made the idea of 'curses' on Khaenri'ans and what they entail even more complicated than they already were. See ya.

[manglam-marfach]

dyke!Chilaios has me understanding breeding kink all of a sudden

[thegreatyin]

who is the scoundrel? I see you posting about them(it? Idk) all the time but I haven’t figured out who they are

my fallen london OC! i made them by accident a few months ago and as you can tell ive very quickly developed scoundrel brainrot. it's a terminal illness for which there is no cure and the symptoms are instead of brain there is scoundrel.

in terms of actual character rundowns, their full moniker is The Bandaged Scoundrel, though i tend to call them "the scoundrel" for short. their real name is D█████, but they'd sooner die permanently than respond to or even acknowledge its existence.

they are! a bastard! a rat! a son of a b___! a motherf______! they are vain beyond your wildest imagination and they think they're the most infallible perfect being in all of existence and they have the exact attitude of a saturday morning power-hungry cartoon supervillain on cocaine.

and also, perhaps most importantly, they're Really Fucking Stupid. because of course they are.

they are resplendently awful. they are inevitably going to cause their own demise in an act of pure karmic retribution. they are a speck of dust in history that desperately keeps trying to insist they're actually a tornado. i love them dearly.

in loose conclusion while also acknowledging ive explained literally nothing; my goofy silly victorian london browser game player character that deserves to get timetraveled against their will to the 21st century specifically so they can get hit by a truck