#also if my sperm donor wants to know me he should pay my mom and i the 40k child support he owes

[composeregg]

Honestly as someone who is partially adopted,

The fact that the doctor didn't go to the biological mother, let her walk away, didn't need to find that information, is so...

My mom was a single mother for a few years, because my bio father didn't stick around. My dad is the one she married, the one who raised me, the one who celebrates adoption day with me.

Ruby has her family. I get wanting to know, wanting to understand, and it's clear she does want that, but she doesn't need that. Her mom makes the point of being glad she didn't find anyone because she's ruby's mom

And there's not enough stories out there where that's just accepted. My biological father tried to get in touch with me when I turned 19 and I told him to fuck off (well, i didn't respond so my mom did with my permission), because he's not my dad. I don't have an interest in seeing him, in getting to know him.

"Aren't you curious?" No, not really!

I get the idea of wanting Ruby to secretly be alien-ish since we dont know her genetics but... there's something special to me, for her to be an ordinary girl. A foundling, adopted. Her biological relations not mattering because her family is the one she HAS

That means a lot to me

[soulmate-game]

Harley’s Plea for Help: Chapter 2

Chapter 1

“How long do you think it’s gonna take before she decides to sneak out?” Nightwing asked over his comms, lazily leaning against the balcony railing in front of him with his head resting on one hand.

“Dude, I started sneaking out almost twenty minutes ago,” a girl’s voice made Nightwing squeak and turn around, to reveal a teenage girl leaning against the door that led to the balcony he was on. “I didn’t want to draw attention to myself by doing unnecessarily showy gymnastics down from my hotel room’s balcony, no matter how much fun that would be, so I just snuck out one of the hotel’s back exits. Then I looked up to admire the moon and saw you here, staking out what is clearly my suite, and decided to come pay you a visit.”

“How long have you been there? And how did you even get behind me? I hope you didn’t break and enter, that’s an actual lived-in apartment behind us right now,” Nightwing asked, turning around to analyze the daughter of Harley Quinn for the first time in person.

She looked just like in her pictures, of course. Jet black hair like her father’s, except it seemed to have a bluish shine in the light. And her eyes were definitely Harley’s— thank goodness for that —vibrant blue and clearly analyzing him with the same amount of intensity as his did her. He had to bite back a chuckle. In a turn of complete irony, she really did look like a Wayne kid. Fit all of Bruce’s usual criteria to be adopted. But she was tiny, even smaller than Harley’s lithe form. He, Bruce, and Tim were of the hypothesis that the exposure both her parents had to Ace Chemical’s vats of acid likely had an effect on her DNA that stunted her growth. Perhaps there were other effects that they wouldn’t be able to figure out until they got to know her better, too, though it was clear that her skin was a likely one. It wasn’t unnaturally pale like her parent’s after their acid dips but it was paler than normal for sure, just a shade or two shy of being paper white.

And he could see, now, what Harley meant when she referred to Marinette as a powerhouse. It wasn’t very noticeable in pictures, but up close Dick could see the carefully honed muscle of an acrobat curling over her otherwise slim build. Combined with the knowledge that Marinette had been taught at least some serious self defense from a young age, he could see how such a tiny package could be a remarkable threat when necessary.

Marinette grimaced as the other Batfam, who were all nearby staking out her room from different angles, dropped onto the large balcony with them.

“Uh, well. I didn’t break and enter, I rather not get off to a criminal-ly start on my first night in Gotham, you know? But I realized that even though I was able to figure out the exact room you were staking me out from, I realized as soon as I got into the first floor of the building that I had no idea how to actually get to you. So I just climbed the stairs all the way to the roof and scaled my way down to this balcony, and pretended I’ve been here for a while when really I was barely able to hear you ask when I was gonna sneak out. I’m still out of breath, actually,” she put a hand on her chest and sure enough her breathing was still slightly fast. But not enough to be worrying or even all that noticeable. Yet another piece of evidence to show that she was a very active individual and had resistance built up to physical activity.

“Yup,” Robin groused grumpily, crossing his arms. “With all that rambling, you couldn’t be anyone else’s child but Quinzel’s.”

Marinette’s face immediately flushed pink all the way to her ears. “I’m sorry! I’ve been trying so hard to quit that habit, too!” She grumbled a bit to herself, putting her face in her hands. They all chuckled at the display. Red Hood ambled over, draping his arm over her shoulders (he nearly had to bend in half to do it, the height difference was that bad).

“As adorable as your freak out is, why’d you even come up here anyway? There’s no way you’d scale down a ten-story building just to say hello.”

She let out a heavy sigh at that, slowly peeling her face out of her hands. “Yeah, I recognized you guys right away. And honestly, as much as Momma Harley would be super proud of me for managing to give an entire group of vigilantes the slip, she’d also ground me for life if she found out that I saw you guys and still snuck away even though she probably swallowed her pride and asked you guys to babysit me, right? Self preservation. Contrary to popular belief, I do actually have some.”

“Wait,” Red Robin held up a hand, brows clearly furrowed under his cowl. “You expected her to ask for our help?”

“Well,” she made a so-so motion with her hand. “I didn’t think of it beforehand, but it all clicked once I saw Nightwing. I know how much my mom is worried about me, especially since you-know-who broke out a few days ago. She is more than worried enough to ask you guys for help. Even if she does complain about you guys, a lot actually, she also has made it clear that she trusts you guys with the stuff that actually matters.

“‘You know who’?” Batman repeated, arms crossed. If Marinette squinted, she thought there might have been a grin on his lips. “Is that how you always refer to him?”

“What else am I gonna call him?” she asked, face going deadpan. “Sperm donor? Source of a large amount of my self doubt and depreciation? The prime reason I haven’t been able to see my mom in person more often over the years? Oh, I know! How about I just always refer to him as ‘that bastard I wanna punch,’? That sounds good!” she rolled her eyes sarcastically. “Only one person in this world has the right to be considered my father in any capacity, and it sure as hell isn’t him. Genetics notwithstanding.”

Red Hood straight up guffawed at that, landing several rough pats on her back that made the girl stumble a bit. “Yep, I like this one! But as fun as it would be to see you give that jackass a mean left hook, it’s better if he never finds out who you are or knows that you’re here,” the vigilante’s voice got dark and serious very quickly. “He doesn’t forget people he finds interesting easily, and if he ever finds out about the connection you have to him, he’ll be a constant threat in your life.”

“I know,” Marinette agreed with a nod. “And if this conversation was happening two years ago, I’d say that my mom’s concerns aren’t unfounded. That I am too easily emotionally compromised and despite my deep seated issues and hatred for that man, I couldn’t guarantee he would be unable to get to me.”

Batman straightened up, as did all of his sons around him. None of them had missed the ‘if’ there. Batman’s voice went from charmingly deep to it’s usual gruff grumble. “What changed in two years?”

They all watched as Marinette gulped, taking a deep breath as she stalled for time, looking out at the view on the balcony before seeming to steel herself and return her gaze to Batman’s. When she did, it was suddenly full of iron will.

“I didn’t lie when I told Mom that I came to visit her— but that isn’t the whole truth, either. If I just wanted to visit her in Gotham, I would have waited until I was eighteen like we agreed. But I can’t wait, Paris can’t keep going on like this. I entered that contest because it was the fastest way to see you. I didn’t know if I would win, but… I had to take the chance. There was no way I’d be able to get to Gotham behind my mom’s back otherwise.”

“What are you talking about?” Robin hissed, stepping up to his father’s side. “Paris has been silent. If anything were happening, we would have heard about it by now.”

“No, you wouldn’t,” Marinette corrected, never losing that ironclad look in her eyes. “Because a combination of magic and politics is keeping it quiet. No news about Paris’ situation is able to leave the city limits. Magic makes any non-native who leaves Paris think that everything they experienced was just a crazy dream. Natives won’t forget, but politics has all of us under very strict NDAs if we leave city boundaries, and all of our local news and social media is blocked from being accessed by anyone outside the city. But, I figured a little breaking of the rules wouldn’t exactly put a stain on my family’s reputation or anything, so,” she dug in her pocket and pulled out a thumb drive, holding it up for all of them to see. She swallowed again, but never stopped her eye contact with Batman. She held out the thumb drive.

“I came to Gotham to ask for your help. This sped things up, I didn’t expect to see you on my first night here, but two years in Hawkmoth’s Paris has really taught me how to roll with the punches. This,” she shook the thumb drive. “Holds videos of every fight since HawkMoth first showed up. It has all the information I’ve gathered over two years, tracks his movements and lists all his targets and— everything. But I’m not a detective, I’m a designer. I make clothes, I spar on the weekends, I am not good at getting evidence to prove that someone is a magic-abusing villain holding an entire city hostage.”

“We’re gonna need some details, Little Q,” Red Hood finally removes his arm from around her shoulders, instead crossing his arms and looking down at her sternly. “If your city has a villain holding it hostage, is anyone fighting him? And if you do have someone fighting him, why don’t you need our help, or why didn’t they call the Justice League? The JLE should be in Paris, right?”

Marinette snorted, face scrunching up in obvious distaste. “I’ll have to answer those a little out of order. First; the JLE was kicked out of Paris. They moved their headquarters to Italy about five years ago, I’m just surprised they apparently kept that secret from you,” she gestured to all of them, who indeed seemed very caught off guard by that tidbit. But Marinette just sighed and continued. “Though that’s a good thing, actually. We do have heroes, it started out as just a pair but it’s grown into a small team out of necessity. They didn’t call the Justice League because the last thing we need is any powered heroes coming in and making it worse— your league doesn’t have the best reputation for letting newer heroes take the lead even on their home turf, you know,” she pointed out, which made Batman shift a bit guiltily. He knew the JL was often a bit… heavy handed in their methods.

“What makes the situation so bad that you don’t want to bring experienced heroes into it?” Red Robin cut in, sounding as if the whole situation was a puzzle he was determined to sort out. Which, really, was exactly what Marinette had been counting on. She shot him a finger gun, grinning.

“That’s exactly the point! Hawkmoth uses a magical artifact, like I said— but this artifact can brainwash anybody who experiences even the slightest negative emotion. Sadness, anger, fear— anything negative. And it gives them powers, but puts them largely under his influence,” her expression twisted again, this time into a wry little grimace. “I guess you can say that my momma’s psychiatry background has secretly come in handy a lot over these past two years. And Hawkmoth is exactly why I try to tell Momma Harley to stop visiting me— I have worked my butt off to keep her from finding out about his attacks or getting Akumatized. Every time she shows up it gives me a heart attack!”

“Akumatized?”

Marinette waved a hand dismissively. “It’s the term used for when someone is turned into a super powered villain because of HawkMoth. The brainwashing— really it’s more similar to a straight up corruption. The person usually lacks their usual moral compass, and just seeks to soothe whatever set off their negative emotion in the first place. Usually, that means they seek a bloody revenge. And if someone who already has extensive training or extremely strong powers gets Akumatized, guess what?” She made jazz hands even though her face was deadpan. “Extra powers, or amplified ones, for the metas or superheroes who are Akumatized. And imagine what someone with, say, Batman’s level of experience could do if he had powers and no moral compass,” the silence that followed her words was deafening. She just nodded, knowing she had gotten her point across. “I’ve been working my butt off to stay positive, because if I’m Akumatized…” her shoulders fell, and she had to swallow a lump in her throat. “... I have no idea what I’d turn into, but if you take into consideration both my training and my family history… it’s really best if we never find out what kind of magic-powered supervillain I’d make.”

“So, let me get this straight,” Nightwing said after another long moment of silence for that to all sink in. He gestured at her with an open palm. “You’ve been dealing with a terrorist for two years who targets emotional vulnerability, you apparently have never been corrupted by this magic at least to present day, but your mother still worries about you being very emotionally fragile. And your heroes are not detectives, which is clearly what you need or you wouldn’t have asked us for our help.”

Marinette nodded. “I used to be very impressionable. At the start of all this, I was a huge people-pleaser. I got attached to new people in a matter of minutes. My mom always said I reminded her too much of herself— but two years of fighting off a guy trying to get into my head—“

“Wait,” Batman nearly barked, taking a step forward. “He’s been targeting you? You specifically?”

Marinette nodded grimly, mouth a straight line. “Not from the beginning, but this past year it’s been painfully obvious. He might be able to sense the strength of people’s emotions, and unfortunately I don’t exactly experience my emotions very… gently. All of my emotions tend to the much more intense side of the spectrum. If that’s true, then he might know that any negative emotion I feel will make an extremely strong Akuma. Either that, or he’s going by process of elimination. All of my friends, except for one, have been Akumatized already. So has my Papan and my grandmother. But it’s obvious when he’s targeting someone, I’ve felt him try to override my will on several occasions. But I can’t just repress all of my negative emotions forever, so consider us working against the clock right now. That thumb drive has all the details you need about our heroes, how exactly Hawkmoth’s powers work, and so on.”

“Do your heroes know you’re asking for our help?” Red Robin asked, gaze burning a figurative hole through Marinette’s face. “Better yet, if this drive has as much information as you say it does, how did you get it?”

Marinette handed the drive over to Batman, who finally took it and tucked it in his belt as she answered.

“Momma Harley might have a lot to say about your detective skills, but you are all still strangers to me. So consider this a test of your abilities— I expect that you will all go to extreme lengths to verify all of the information I gave you anyway. After all, I’m still the daughter of your most hated enemy. Right?” She met each of their gazes, one by one, with a challenging one of her own. “You’ll just have to figure out my connection to the heroes on your own. And how I got the information, too. It shouldn’t be too hard for the so-called world’s greatest detectives. And maybe this can double as a trust exercise. I fully expect you guys to scour through every inch of my past, and dig up everything you can on me. I encourage you to try to find everything you can, so that hopefully you can decide to trust me on your own once you have all the details laid out in front of you. By the way, for your own sanity? I’d start with reading about all of our heroes’ powers and abilities before you watch any footage of past attacks.”

Red hood rocked back on his heels, trading glances with the other vigilantes before they all shared a nod. Apparently having decided their course of action, Red Hood leaned down and hoisted Marinette up into a princess carry. All traces of her previous iron will melted away in favor of the high pitched squeal of surprise she gave, and once more she became an overly flustered teenager.

“Alright, little cutie. Let’s get you to your mom’s place before she and her crazy plant lady fiancé come hunting us down.”

“I can walk! I can freerun on my own! Mon dieu please let me down! Eeeeek!” She squealed again as Robin slapped a domino mask over her eyes and Red Hood wasted no time jumping over the balcony railing with her still in his arms. The fact that they were lowered down by a wire wrapped around Hood’s waist didn’t seem to take away any of the fright that came with a sudden drop over an eighth-story balcony.

Part 1

@emotionalsupportginger @alysrose-starchild @emistar0 @kibastray @justanotherfanficlovinbitch @alyssadeliv @blackroserelina @blackstarlight-co @readingalldaysleepingallnight @maanae @aespades @jaybird-and-co @fleursroses @probably-a-hologram @misterpianoman (didn’t work sorry)

[boldlyvoid]

Amoreena | chapter eleven

chapter eleven

main summary: Heaven is a real place and it's located exactly 14.6 miles away from the FBI, Quantico Headquarters. Off behind a small park, under a fantastical willow tree surrounded by wildflowers, in every colour young minds can imagine.

Don't forget, heaven also comes with angels.

Chapter Warnings: Y/N POV: details of what happened to Stephen, her grandmas cancer, and very detailed explanations of how babies are made (as biologically accurate and not very graphic as possible) this is an angsty trauma filled chapter that made me cry a lot just writing it so I'm sorry in advance

word count: 3K

from the beginning <3

June 13th, 2010

There’s a knock on her parent's door at 4 in the morning, Y/N’s sound asleep on the couch back at her grandma’s, awoken by said grandmother as she hears all the noise beyond the porch. There are 2 cop cars at the main house, worry starts to settle over them.

She puts on a pair of shoes, taking her grandmother's hand in hers as they begin the early morning trek up the road, anxiety seeping in deeper and deeper as they get closer to the lights illuminating their driveway.

Her father is talking to an officer on the steps, her mother is crying behind him. “We’re so sorry for your loss,” the officer says and Y/N’s blood runs cold, numbing her from the impending despair.

“What happened?” Her grandmother asks, rubbing a hand along Y/N’s back in preparation for the worst.

“Evan was in a car accident,” her father says softly, knowing that Y/N knows Stephen was with him tonight. She breaks away from her grandma and without thinking she’s right in the officer's face.

“Which one of them died?”

“Ma’am,” it was never a good way to start the worst conversation of her life with that word or in that tone. She felt like a '40s housewife learning her husband wasn’t coming home from the war, only he wasn’t even her husband yet.

He would have been on next Saturday.

“I’m sorry, Stephen was pronounced dead on the scene,” he says the worst sentence she’s ever heard, and now she’ll never forget it. “The passenger side took the worst of it, once again, I am so sorry for your loss.”

She’s surprisingly calm, managing to whisper, “thank you,” before she’s walking off into the field, pushing everyone's hands away as she travels as far as he feet will take her.

She ends up at the willow tree by the pond as soon as the sun is rising, it happened a lot earlier in June than the rest of the year. The birds singing, the wind blowing against the leaves making them carry a tune in harmony together. The world is still spinning, life is moving on, but how?

She sat there against the tree for a while, picking blades of grass and weaving them into a chain, soothing her brain as she makes a pattern. Giving her hands something to do so they stop going numb, it’s the only thing that really reminds her that she's real, that she’s controlling the twists and tucks, the shape and length and the fact that it was created at all.

Ending the life of the single blade of grass as she picks it, never to be whole again. Snatched from its happy place, where it grew loved and surrounded by other matching green strands as they blew in the wind.

Then she's pulling fist full after fist full of grass out of the dirt, her hands covered in mud as she shouts, throwing handfuls of grass and dirt towards the pond. The once blue water starting to turn cloudy; disrupted and upset with her anger as it swallows her weapons, but it doesn’t make her feel better. All she did was disrupt the earth, changing the way this once beautiful patch of land used to look. She couldn’t help but sob, realizing that she was like this field now and her beautiful green pasture was disrupted, overturned and ruined.

The life that flowed through her died along with the love of her life.

“Stephen was pronounced dead on the scene,” the words echo in her mind in a constant circle like she’s stuck in a tin can.

It starts to reverberate, getting louder and louder as the same 7 words all run around in her head. Bouncing off the walls, smacking her down again and again as she hears them over and over and over… she’s holding her hands on her ears, shaking back and forth, sobbing when she feels someone wrap their arms around her.

She doesn’t open her eyes, instead, she's rushing to push them off of her, struggling out of their grasp as she fights them. Finally, she loses, being held in her brother's embrace as they both cry, he barely has a scratch on him when she finally looks at him.

she’s never been physical in her life, but she punched him right in the face. Her twin brother, best friend in childhood and the person she’s known the longest in her life. He held her close in the womb, crying if they separated as soon as they were born, she loved him deeply and yet she hated him something fierce at that moment.

“It wasn’t my fault,” Evan cries, “we were stopped at a red light, Y/N!”

“I don’t care! He was supposed to be my husband!” She swats at him, smacking his arms again and again as he tries to hold them back, holding her so tightly as she basically screams bloody murder in the field.

All she can see is his face, her beautiful happy Stephen. The first time she ever saw him, standing under a street light in Boston, papers in his hand and wonder in his eyes. The way he looked up at her, the glow of the light making a halo glow over his head.

She should have known he was too good to be true. Always destined to return to the heavens, he was truly angelic with his big emerald eyes that were only the tiniest bit yellow on the edge of the pupil, the way her name sounded on his tongue like a blessing coming true.

They buried him 2 days after what was supposed to be their wedding. Disrupting another beautiful patch of earth to hide him away forever, she placed a single rose on his casket, she never said goodbye and she never planned to.

“See you later, superstar,” she patted the glossy black box once last time before sending him down into the earth.

—

September 2012

This fucking willow tree and 7-word sentences…

“What do you mean you have cancer?”

Her grandma let a tear slip from her eye, “I’ve got colon cancer, honey, the doctors said I have another 2 years, maybe 5 if I'm lucky.”

Every time someone sat beside her in this one spot, she learned the worst information in the world. Sure Evan didn’t mean to kill Stephen, doesn’t mean she’s talked to him at all in the last year. with Grandpa dying only a few summers back, her favourite house cat now buried in the yard, she can’t lose her grandma now too.

“Okay,” she starts to plan in her head, her eyes about ready to jump out of her skull as she tries to think of all the things they need to do before it’s too late, “let’s go to England, let’s blow my bank account, you can’t leave me without going to England with me? We were supposed to get tea and pretend to be the queen and princess?”

She couldn’t stop the tears, her whole body heaving as she sobbed into her grandma’s dress, “you can’t leave me too!”

“Your grandfather and I have a fund for you, you were the last baby we got to raise when your mom went back to work, I want you to use it for that baby we talked about,” her grandma’s voice is barely a whisper, softly getting the words over her vocal cords as the tears joined Y/N’s on her dress.

Without another word, she took her hand and walked home, getting in her car together and heading to the closest fertility clinic, she booked her first insemination for February, pre-paying for a round of IVF hormones and everything to start in January, she had 3 months to plan.

Finding the perfect donor was the only hard part. She had 3 different books to choose from with all the clinics in the DC area sharing 1 sperm bank. She finally made her decision 3 weeks before they were set to get her pregnant when they updated the books.

Sample 2319, male 30’s, healthy, high IQ, 6’1, brown eyes, brown hair (curly). “Sounds a lot like Stephen,” her grandma agreed, saying his name for the first time in over 2 years, she knew this was her guy.

—

June 14th, 2021

Peeing on a stick shouldn’t be as terrifying as it is.

She hasn’t been this nervous since the first time Dr. Collins inseminated her. Laying back on the table at a weird elevation to make sure she got pregnant, her whole body tense as she thought of the possibilities of her future child.

Sample 2319 sitting in a cup not too far from her face as she prepared for a man she barely knew to put the semen of another man she didn’t know, inside her. She only picked this guy cause he was smart and tall, no health issues to report and the number made her think of Monsters Inc.

In her mind, she made a baby with a man she named mike wazowski, not knowing his real name was actually Spencer Reid and he was only just down the road at Quantico the whole time. It was the weirdest day ever, and then it became the second-best day of her life

Nothing could top holding her baby in her arms for the first time. Her grandma and mother beside her as they all cried, the perfect purple baby screaming on her chest as they tried to wipe the white gunk off her tiny body. her sweet little coos, seeing her swollen eyes open for the first time, the silence that overcame her as they made their first introduction to each other. Her little person, the love of her life, her wonderful Amoreena.

Her cry was perfect, like music to her ears she wanted to hear her little voice as long as she could because it meant she was alive and real. She was healthy and beautiful and the most perfect bundle of joy she could have ever made.

Now she was hiding in the bathroom to pee on a stick while her 7-year-old had breakfast in the next room. Oh, how times changed, but one thing remained the same, she was finding out alone again. Only this time she meant for that to happen, it was exactly 4 days since her period was supposed to start and it wasn’t there, neither was Spencer.

He had something to do that morning, but he’d be meeting them later that afternoon, it was Amoreena’s last day of kindergarten after all. She wanted time to either enjoy the thought of having another baby or cry in peace because for once it didn’t work, giving her a week to recover before trying again.

Amoreena was a miracle, the easiest IVF baby they ever made at the clinic, apparently. If she was pregnant this easily again it was a sure sign that he was Amoreena’s father too, only he could get her knocked up while not even trying.

She didn’t remember pregnancy tests taking this long, she flipped it over and walked out of the room, unable to think of anything else while she waited for 3 minutes to pass. Amoreena noticed she was being weird, studying her mother's movements as she paced the hall outside of the bathroom door.

“What are you doing?” She asked, curious as ever as she twirled lightly in her new princess dress.

“Can you keep a secret?”

“Always mom, I’m the best secret keeper in all the kingdom, remember?” Amoreena smiled, holding onto her leg as she stared up at her.

“Your dad and I tried to make a baby,” she whispered, petting the litter hairs on her forehead as Amoreena looked up at her, her first little baby. “I’m waiting to find out if it worked, but we can’t tell anyone in case it didn’t, okay?”

Amoreena’s eyes were wider than she’s ever seen them, her mouth opened slowly as she understood the words in her mind. She didn’t look happy or surprised, nor upset or worried. She looked confused, “how?”

She laughed then, shaking her head as she lifted Amoreena into her arms, she would have to know soon anyway. “You know how every month mummy has a bad week where she bleeds and her tummy hurts?”

“Yeah?”

“When people with our parts grow up they make little tiny eggs but we don’t lay them like chickens do, they stay inside our tummies and wait to become babies and if they don’t we have a period and release all the stuff our bodies saved up that month to make a little person. You’ll have one soon too in a few years, probably when you're 12 like I was, and when people with a penis get old enough they’re able to help us make the babies like roosters help the chickens. Our bodies are really special and make some really cool things when we try to,” she explained it in the most simple farmhouse way she could.

“Like when the goats are all born in the spring and they just show up?” She tried to clarify, understanding it at the basic level.

“Kinda, you’ve seen the photos of you in my tummy and how aunty Shannon’s stomach grew when she had your cousins, I’ll get really big like that too if I’m pregnant, the baby will grow for 9 long months till they’re nice and healthy and then we’ll have another person in the family,” she couldn’t help but smile as she thought about it.

“How do we find out?”

She opened the bathroom door then and carried Amoreena inside, setting her down on the sink and pointing at the upside-down test stick. “We create a special hormone when we’re pregnant, it’s something that can be detected in our pee!” she explained it like it was magic, watching her get excited instead of grossed out.

“So I peed on that stick and if it has 2 lines I have a baby in my tummy, if not then your dad and I have to try again.”

Amoreena picked up the test and looked at it, keeping it out of her mothers sight as she did so, “there’s two lines,” she lit up waving the stick lightly as she squealed.

Y/N wrapped her up in her arms and twirled her around, “you’re gonna be the best big sister ever!”

“How do we tell dad?” Amoreena’s soft voice whispered in her ear as she snuggled into her shoulder.

“I have an idea,” she whispered back before carrying her back into the kitchen.

Her All About Me project was sitting on the counter, ready for Y/N to drive her into school today. She set Amoreena down on the floor to watch her as she took some tape and taped the stick to the bottom corner of the project. “Pass me the marker, please?”

Amoreena ran to the counter to get it, coming back and placing it in her mom's hand before leaning in to watch what she was writing.

“I’m going to be a big sister sometime next February!” Amoreena read the words as her mother wrote them, unbelievably excited.

“Your dad can read that at the ceremony tonight!”

“I thought you said we can’t tell anyone yet?” Amoreena questioned her, like always.

“Your teacher can know, the other kids won't know what it means, it’s just important Spencer sees it, but we will wait to tell nanny and poppy, okay? Sometimes the babies don’t always stay, it’s sad so we keep it a secret until they’ve got a tiny little heartbeat in there,” she didn’t want to scare her, but she knew it was always a possibility.

“Then we try again,” Amoreena smiled, “It’ll be easier now that you don’t need Dr. Collins to help you, how did you even make me without Spencer?” She didn't use his real name often anymore, only in times when she wasn't referring to him as her father.

She sat down then, pulling Amoreena into her lap so she could hold her while she thought of the right words. “So we have eggs, but people with penises have something called sperm. When adults, and I mean adults you have to be at least 25 to have a baby it’s the rules,” she teased her slightly, ticking her arms.

“Adults have sex, babies are made when someone with a vagina and someone with a penis get together. But when you don’t have a partner with a penis to help, sometimes they’ll donate their sperm to the doctor's offices to help people like me make their perfect little families all by themselves.”

“Interesting,” is all her little mind can say, she has learned so much in one day, Y/N was surprised she was still listening and surprisingly still for once. “Is it a boy or a girl?”

“We won't know for a while,” she smiled, holding Amoreena closer to her chest. “How do you feel about all this?”

Amoreena was quiet as she thought about it, “is Spencer the guy who gave the doctors the sperm for me?”

“We think so, but we don’t know, why?”

Amoreena looked at her softly, “it wouldn’t be fair, I know he said I don’t need a father but why do they get to have him for both?”

“I think Spencer is your father, you’re just as smart and wonderful as he is, there’s no doubt in my mind that you’re his baby too. but if you want to know if he isn't, when you turn 18 the doctors will tell you who it is, it's completely up to you to find out,” she whispered, the tears starting to fall down her cheeks as Amoreena tried to wipe them away.

"I like thinking he's my father, so he is." Her mind worked in the most wonderful way. Y/N couldn’t help but hold her close as she lightly cried, “I had a dream yesterday that I had 8 sisters,” her voice was so soft and innocent as her tiny hand cupped her mother's cheek.

She gasped lightly at the words, remembering Spencer’s panic in the middle of the night last night, how scared he was to leave her all alone with 9 babies and no one to help her. They knew something that she didn’t yet, cheaper by the dozen seemed less like a dream and more like a prophecy.

“I’m so happy to make your dream come true,” Y/N whispered, “I promise I’m happy, the baby just makes me emotional.”

Amoreena placed her hand on her tummy then, “I love you, baby.”

Y/N stuck her tummy out as far as she could, “I love you too, big sister,” she said in a funny voice to make Amoreena laugh, leaning back in the chair as she held her.

And just like that, getting pregnant with Amoreena was bumped into 3rd place for the best day of her life. Sharing the moment with her and no one else was perfect, insuring she knew that she was just as important moving forward as the little person she was growing this time.

tag list: @shemarmooresfedora @spencers-dria @spookyspence @reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @samuel-de-champagne-problems @jswessie187 let me know if you would like to be added as well!!

[thinking1bee]

When it Reigns Part 5

Requested by Anonymous

Pairings: Kara Danvers x Reader

Tags: Angst, Kryptonian!Reader, Parent!Reader, Parent!Kara, Estranged Parent, Graphic Depictions of Injuries, Blood, Humor, Bad Dreams, Memory Loss

Everything Taglist: @sammy90682 @nobody13 @owloftheshadows @captain-josslett @camslightstories @worldovart @finleyfray @acertainredhead @sammm9068 @reginassecretlover

It took some more investigative journalism, but you and Kara found out that it was Edge who was behind poisoning the kids. He orchestrated the plan to have chemicals dumped into the pool, and then to frame Lena further by dumping the same chemicals into National City’s water supply. Luckily with some saving from Supergirl, Edge was thrown behind bars and a cure was made for the families afflicted. You sighed for a day well done and you were in the process of saying good night to Angel.

“Will Luke be okay?” she asked you and you smiled.

“Yes. He should be getting better as we speak.”

You leaned down and kissed her forehead when Angel froze.

“Hey what’s wrong?”

She blinked. “You have a hole in your shirt.”

You looked down to see what she was talking about. Sure enough, there was a tear in the fabric of your blouse, and you held it in confusion, wondering how it got there.

“Oh, weird,” you said, shrugging it off. “Sweet dreams, okay?”

Angel nodded before she closed her eyes and you left quietly, smiling fondly as your daughter drifted off to sleep. As you walked down the hall, you felt at the tear in your shirt, and as you kept playing with it, something cold and metallic fell from the torn threads and landed on the floor with a sharp clang. You paused, bending over to pick up the object, and when you inspected it, you saw that it was a bullet.

You were…shot.

And you didn’t feel it.

Your hands went to your stomach, feeling around for anything unusual. You even lifted your shirt to see if there was anything wrong. There was nothing. Just the expanse of smooth and unharmed flesh. You swallowed hard as you looked up, seeing nothing but the emptiness of the hallway in front of you. You couldn’t ignore any of this anymore. You needed answers, so you went into your room and packed a small travel bag. You’d be gone for a day tops and hopefully, you would find what you needed. As you packed, you dialed for Kara, and she answered in the first ring.

“Y/n is everything okay?” she asked, and you smiled. Your darling wife, ever the worrier.

“I’m fine babe,” you replied with the smile playing at your lips. “I was wondering if you would be okay with watching Angel. I need to take a trip.”

You could practically hear Kara fix her glasses while shifting her weight from one foot to the other. “Is everything okay?” she asked again.

“I think so. I just need to pay a visit to my mother.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

The question was justified. The relationship between you and your adopted parental figure was less than stable. You’d soon go to hell voluntarily before stepping foot in her house again, but this was important. Something was going on with you and you needed answers. You had to start somewhere.

“I’ll be fine, I promise.”

Kara accepted your promise, trusting that you would be fine like you said. “Okay, just come back soon.”

You smiled. “I love you.”

“I love you more,” you replied, and you disconnected the call.

***

Kara nibbled her lips, staring at the screen when you disconnected the call. She couldn’t help but think that something wears wrong and that you wanted her to think that everything was okay. Whatever it was, she knew that she would have to wrap this up soon. Angel was already home, and judging by the clock on Kara’s phone, was also in bed.

“…Kara?”

Kara looked up to see everyone in the DEO staring at her and she hastily put her phone back in her pocket.

“Sorry.”

“Is everything okay?” Alex asked and Kara shrugged. That was all she could do.

She was so worried about you. Ever since Angel told her about your selective memory loss, she had been so preoccupied with you that it was evoking distracting. She knew she should have followed up with that. She trusted you, as she did, but something was telling her to dive deeper into it and she ignored it. What could be going on that you felt the need to reach out to a woman that you had spoken to in years? Was everything that bad? And what about when Angel got hurt. Angel told her that it was a city light pole that fell on top of her, but she had been less than forthcoming with the details as to how she got free from under it. Things weren’t making any sense.

“Kara?”

Kara blinked and focused on everyone again. Alex had asked her a question and she went on a mental spiral.

“I’m fine,” she said quickly, but everyone looked at each other with skepticism. If Kara was truly okay, she wasn’t very convincing about it.

“Are you sure?” Alex asked, mirroring Kara’s early question to you. She nodded.

“Yes. Let’s focus on what caused the earthquake.”

Alex gave her once last look, her eyes searching. Kara nodded, her eyes focused on hers, knowing that she would know what it meant. We’ll talk later. Alex nodded before turning her attention back to the giant screens in front of her.

“Go ahead, Winn.”

Winn typed on his tablet before he dragged his finger across the screen, his wrist flicking, before what was on his tablet appeared on screens for everyone to see. On them was a map, with a single dot highlighted on a specific location. From the dot came virtual shockwaves that pulsed from the single location and spread outwards.

“I was able to pinpoint the exact location of the earthquake,” he explained. “But theres nothing out there.”

Beside him, J’onn nodded and crossed his arms. “I flew from the center and covered the entire area of coverage. There’s nothing there except cracked earth and debris.”

“So, if there’s nothing there, where did the earthquake come from?” Kara asked.

“That’s the mystery,” Winn said as he turned his attention back to the pulsating dot on the screen. Kara watched as the shockwaves emanated from the point over and over, the feeling of foreboding sending a chill down her spine.

***

You pulled up to your mother’s house and put the car in park. She still lived all the way out in Metropolis and was still in the same house and everything. It was like nothing changed. Well almost nothing. She may have stayed the same, but you changed entirely. No matter what happened, you promised to keep your cool. There was a reason why you never so much as sent her a Christmas card. So, you took a deep breath and squared your shoulders, before getting out of the car and knocking on the door. It took a bit of knocking but she finally answered, and she looked at you like she had seen a ghost.

“Y/n?”

“Hello, Elizabeth,” you greeted. “May I come in?”

After some small talk and a glass of water that you still hadn’t drank from, it was finally time to address the elephant in the room. Though if it were up to you, the elephant wouldn’t need to be pointed out anyway. Just acknowledge it and move on.

“I haven’t seen you since…” Elizabeth swallowed thickly, a nervous chuckle escaping her. “Well, you know.

“I couldn’t imagine why you’d expect me to keep in touch after you kicked me out.”

“I did that to teach you a lesson!”

She still believed that? Even after all these years?

“That’s odd because that wasn’t what it felt like.”

She looked away from you, her eyebrows furrowed in hurt, and you had to resist the urge to scoff. Her little act wasn’t going to work on you. You decided that you had enough with strolling down memory lane.

“Do you know where I can find my birth parents?” you asked. At that, her head snapped up and she met your eyes.

“Why?”

“That doesn’t matter. Do you know or not?”

She didn’t answer, she only stared at you, and you could feel your irritation grow. You never asked her of anything, not since she kicked you out, and now that you were asking about your real parents, after all these years, now she wanted to give you a hard time???

“I’m sorry,” was all she said. You smirked and she looked at you.

“You have got to be kidding me. Then at least tell me which adoption agency you adopted me from.”

Elizabeth shook her head, and you actually snapped your fingers, pointing at her as your irritation morphed into rage.

“I’ve never asked you for anything once you threw me out, and this is how you want to play this?!”

“That was to teach you a lesson,” she repeated, like the explanation would make everything okay.

“That what?” you demanded. “That it was never okay for me to like who I liked?”

“You know that I didn’t approve of your homosexual escapades.”

“Oh yeah, and then I dated a guy to make you happy. Good thing for me that he knocked me up and left the moment he found out I was pregnant. I was 19! I needed someone there for me! I needed my mom!”

“Y-you were pregnant?” she whispered, horrified that she hadn’t known until now.

“Yes! And you would have known that if you had just listened to me!”

Elizabeth had thrown you to the side after finding out that you had sex with him. She wanted a good Christian daughter, one that followed every rule in the Bible. That wasn’t you, and no matter how much she tried to force you to learn, or how much she forced you to go to church, it would never be you. Even now. You were happily married and trying your damnedest with your daughter. The relationship with her sperm donor may have been a huge mistake, but Angel never will be that. She was so much more. She was the reason you never gave up, and the woman that was in front of you, was the reason why you never learned to be a good mom. You spent your whole life being what she wanted for her sake.

“Did you keep it?” Elizabeth whispered.

“Her name is Angel,” you said sternly, and you had the satisfaction of watching her flinch. “And I guess by technicality you do have a granddaughter.”

“How is she?”

You stared at her, really stared at her, incredulous that she thought that she had the right to ask about Angel.

“If you think that I would let you, with your religious, Bible thumping poison and rhetoric around her, then I must be on crack.”

Elizabeth sighed. “I’m sorry.”

It was way too late for sorry. That wouldn’t work on you either.

“Do you know anything about my birth parents or the adoption agency that you got me from?” you asked again.

“Why do you want to know so bad?”

You had to stop yourself from screaming in from frustration. Instead, you took a deep breath and looked down.

“Things have been happening to me, Elizabeth,” you started as you looked at her intensely. I keep blacking out to do only God knows what and then I have no recollection of going anywhere or saying anything. Earlier this week, a pole fell on my daughter, and I lifted it clear above my head and threw it away as though it weighed nothing. Yesterday I was at a press conference when someone open fired into the crowd. I was shot, Elizabeth, and I didn’t feel anything. I pulled the crushed bullet from my clothes but there were no marks, no cuts, no anything. The past few weeks have been weird, and I swallowed the anger I have with you to ask you for your help. Now if you know anything, now would be the time to tell me.”

Elizabeth looked at you and was quiet. It seemed like she wasn’t going to say anything until she nodded her head, deciding something internally, before she looked at you.

“Follow me. I want to show you something.”

Part 6

[snowe-zolynn-rogers]

Pairings: None

Word Count: 1,912 Words

Summary: The Todoroki family drama yet again.

Warnings: Cursing, Caps, Food Mention, Abuse Mention, Teen Pregnancy Mention, Arranged Marriage Mention, Forced Marriage Mention, Forced Pregnancy Mention, Blood Mention, Near Death Mention, Death Mention, Pregnancy Mention, Secret Pregnancy Mention, let me know if I should tag anything else.

Usernames: Area 51   Aoyama: bonjour je suis Dora, Ashido: aggressive chicken dance, Asui: wut, Iida: Human Porche, Uraraka: Fuck Gravity, Ojiro: ceouolo, Kaminari: pikachoo, Kirishima: ordained, Koda: the muffin man?, Sato: dammit kevin, Shoji: pIaNoMaN, Jirou: neko neko kneecaps, Sero: wine and cheerios, Tokoyami: brb drowning, Todoroki: daddy issues, Hagakure: oreosandpussy, Bakugo: mother i crave violence, Midoriya: mistakes were made Mineta: Mineta, Shinsou: its a mental breakdown, Yaoyorozu: single braincell

Usernames: Emo Sanctuary  Jirou: tell tale heart, Tokoyami: eldritch peep, Todoroki: i love you 3000, Bakugou: knife tag, Midoriya: bitchasaurus, Shinsou: unhappy meal, Kuroiro: meth and deadamine, Shigaraki: depresso extra shot, Dabi: *sad kazoo*

Usernames: I Hate This Family  Shigaraki: I'm A Duck Now, Dabi: Unidentified Flaming Object, Toga: Mothman's Descendant, Twice: Car's Extended Warrantee, Compress: Communist Propaganda, Magne: Sir This Is A Wendy's, Spinner: I Taste Like Chicken

Usernames: Endeavor Hate Chat  Fuyumi: coconut cake, Natsuo: lemon cake, Shoto: red velvet cake, Haruhi/Dabi/Touya: chocolate cake, Bakugou: carrot cake, Shinsou: strawberry cake

Into The Group Chat We Go: Chapter 5

12:35 PM

Area 51

daddy issues: He looks like my oldest brother, Touya. he disappeared after I was born. But he looks just like him from the picture albums, but, you know, taller...and happy?

mother i crave violence: Ask him.

daddy issues: He looks so happy with Shinsou. Maybe I should just leave it. He doesn't need to be burdened with the family he left behind.

mother i crave violence: I'll fight you. Get downstairs, we need to make lunch for ourselves anyway and I won't have you trying to cook in your room.

Aizawa: No fighting, you two. But no cooking in your room either, Todoroki, that's dangerous.

daddy issues: Fuck both of you. I just won't eat then.

Aizawa: I hate children.

daddy issues: And I hate you, so we're even.

Aizawa: You can't push away every father figure in your life, kid. It won't work on the stubborn ones like me.

daddy issues: If this is your way of saying you want to steal me from my father and keep me as your own son, I won't object.

Aizawa: Alright, that too. Now come eat. You don't even need to talk to him.

daddy issues: I hate this fucking family.

daddy issues: Fine.

12:45 PM

I Hate This Family

Unidentified Flaming Object: I think we miscalculated. Don't address it, this is my problem, @I'm A Duck Now.

Mothman's Descendant: What happened?

Unidentified Flaming Object: I forgot a family member of mine goes to UA and he might knows what I look like since I look like I used to before the accident and my family might still have some pictures of me around for him to recognize me.

Sir This Is A Wendy's: YOU'RE BLOWING OUR COVER!?

Unidentified Flaming Object: He doesn't know I became a villain. To him, I'm just a "sibling" he never met. Unfortunately, I'm actually his mother.

Communist Propaganda: Do you think he knows by now?

Car's Extended Warrantee: Oh shit, man. You gonna be okay over there?

Unidentified Flaming Object: He probably doesn't know. The old man never even told Fuyumi that I was Shoto's mother. He probably didn't even tell him he had a different legal name on his first birth certificate.

I'm A Duck Now: Maybe call him by the name you named him?

12:55 PM

Area 51

oreosandpussy: Haruhi asked if someone named Akimitsu wants any plum kitkats.

fuck gravity: Isn't that your favorite candy, Todoroki?

daddy issues is now offline

wut: I feel like that's a bad sign.

oreosandpussy: They both just stared at each other and left the room!

its a mental breakdown: sibling bond telepathy.

wine and cheerios: No because none of my siblings and I can do that. That's not fair.

ceouolo: you have siblings?

wine and cheerios: yeah, I have nine siblings, man.

ceouolo: Sero wins that bet. He has the most siblings. I thought Hagakure would win with five sisters.

oreosandpussy: We're getting away from the point here. Haruhi and Shoto just disappeared after Haruhi said the name of someone who isn't here.

fuck gravity: Todoroki is probably back-alley dealing him use of Endeavor's credit card for the kitkats knowing him.

2:25 PM

I Hate This Family

Unidentified Flaming Object: So I told my kid that I'm his mother. He took it better than I thought and he wants to call me Dad now and I think I'm going to cry tonight.

Mothman's Descendant: Good job, Touya!

2:25 PM

Area 51

daddy issues: I'd like to announce I have a shiny new father who doesn't come with abusive tendencies and is actually my biological parent.

its a mental breakdown: I'm so proud of you!

daddy issues: I just realized I got a two for one. I just got a real dad and an adopted brother all in one.

its a mental breakdown: still supportive but what? please explain.

daddy issues: Haruhi's legal name is Touya and he's my biological mother. Enji forced him into a very young arranged quirk marriage at 12 for more spawn to train because Rei became infertile after Natsuo due to the emergency hysterectomy they performed on her to save her life because she was hemorrhaging. I was the sole result of that marriage before Haruhi ran away but wasn't able to take me with him since Endeavor passed me off as his own child with Rei after paying the doctors that did her hysterectomy not to talk.

fuck gravity: Sho, Haruhi's a guy.

daddy issues: Yes, he's transgender. So he's my biological mother but he's my Dad.

oreosandpussy: Does this have something to do with the 'Akimitsu' thing?

daddy issues: Actually, my birth name was Akimitsu. He named me and Natsuo used to call me that when Enji wasn't home because he'd heard Haruhi call me that once before he ran away. Endewhore and Rei renamed me almost immediately on a second birth certificate they'd had made as if I was Rei's son.

mother i crave violence: Technically, you got two adopted brothers. Me and Shinsou.

daddy issues: And you two got another brother too.

aggressive chicken dance: dumbass trio.

mother i crave violence: I'm oldest, I automatically win.

its a mental breakdown: Ask Haruhi what kind of quirk your sperm donor had.

daddy issues: He says it was a mental block quirk. Oh my god, the dude had blue hair. Hitoshi, blue fucking hair with Haruhi's red hair.

its a mental breakdown: Are we sure he's not my real parent?

mother i crave violence: Toshi, your birthday is in July. He couldn't have had you five months after he had Shoto.

daddy issues: Well, actually, that's technically possible, in a longshot kind of way since he was about seven months when he had me.

its a mental breakdown: Regardless, I say we claim we're triplets and Haruhi had the two of us after he ran away.

daddy issues: He says that's a funny idea and he's absolutely going with it.

daddy issues: I'm also adding all three of you to our family's group chat once I can go Endeavor's home and grab my legal documents and the rest of my things tonight. So that'll be fun.

Aizawa: I and Present Mic will go with you.

pikachoo has changed Aizawa's name to Mom

pikachoo: Because you're basically our mom.

Mom: You may live because I'm busy.

8:00 PM

Endeavor Hate Chat

red velvet cake: I'm heading home tonight to grab things with my two friends, two teachers, and someone else. Is Enji there?

coconut cake: No, he's out patrolling and all.

red velvet cake: Good. Would you like to help me move all my stuff out, including my legal documents?

coconut cake: Wait, what!? Why!?

red velvet cake: I would like you to remain calm, alright? Enji isn't my father and you aren't my sister, nor Natsuo my brother. I'm not the child of Todoroki Enji and Himura Rei.

coconut cake: Shoto, I know you hate being part of the family but you can't disown us! I love you! I'll change, I promise! I'll finally cut Enji off, just please keep me in your life!

red velvet cake: That's not it, Fuyumi. I'm saying these things because Rei is not my mother, she's my grandmother. Enji is my grandfather, You and Natsuo are my aunt and uncle. I know about Touya now and I know what happened now.

lemon cake: Akimitsu?

red velvet cake: Yes, I know about the Akimitsu situation. Probably more than you do, actually.

lemon cake: What else is there?

red velvet cake: One minute. Let me just.

red velvet cake has added Haruhi, Hitoshi, and Katsuki to Endeavor Hate Chat

coconut cake: Who are they?

red velvet cake: Hitoshi and Katsuki are my brothers. Haruhi is my Dad. You two probably know him better by the name Touya.

lemon cake: You're fucking with me. Stop it, Shoto.

coconut cake: Shoto, this prank or whatever isn't funny!

red velvet has started a video chat

Dad, say hi to Fuyumi and Natsuo. -red velvet cake

Hey, there guys. Long time no see? -Haruhi

Oh my god, you're really here. I thought you were dead, Touya. Can I still call you that? -lemon cake

I go by either Touya or Haruhi, I don't mind which. -Haruhi

We're visiting the house with my teachers, Eraserhead and Present Mic, to move the rest of my things out of Enji's home and into my dorm room. -red velvet cake

That sounds like a plan. I'll be over in about ten minutes to help them, Fuyu. -lemon cake

Oh yeah, and what are you guy's favorite cake flavors? Which one do you like the most? -coconut cake

Chocolate. -Haruhi

Carrot. -Katsuki

Ew, Kats. Strawberry. -Hitoshi

Yours are both gross. But I'll bear it because you're my sons. -Haruhi

Oh my god. -red velvet cake

red velvet cake has ended the video chat

coconut cake has changed Haruhi's name to chocolate cake

coconut cake has changed Katsuki's name to carrot cake

coconut cake has changed Hitoshi's name to strawberry cake

10:50 PM

Area 51

daddy issues: I am now 100% moved out of Endeavor's house and I found my original birth certificate listing my birth parents.

daddy issues: I also found some hidden documents and medical records. Turns out me and Shinsou really are brothers and Haruhi had no fucking idea because he didn't even know he was still pregnant when he had him.

brb drowning: What the fuck?

neko neko kneecaps: How would he not know!?

daddy issues: He went to the hospital and the doctors took Hitoshi away from Haruhi because they found out he was a homeless kid so they sedated him, must have cut Toshi out, and left Toshi on an orphanage's doorstep.

daddy issues: But they tested Hito and still sent Enji his birth certificate, so I don't know why they lied to Dad.

its a mental breakdown: So I guess you could say I was a secret during the pregnancy even from my own mother?

fuck gravity: But he had you in January, Shoto? And then he had Shinsou in July five months later?

Human Porche: Hold on, Shinsou is 14 by that math.

its a mental breakdown: Actually, the nuns who raised me lied about my birthday to only me so I've been mistakenly putting my birthday down as July 1st on school forms for the last ten years. They did it just so I wouldn't find my mother. Which, again, doesn't make sense. Maybe someone wrote it wrong? But I was actually born on January 12th. Technically me and Sho are fraternal twins with different birthdays.

mother i crave violence: So I'm Haruhi's only not biological son.

is a mental breakdown: We love you, Katsuki.

daddy issues: We love you, Kats.

neko neko kneecaps: They're twins, your honor.

pikachoo: You two are cute being twins.

mother i crave violence: This is creepy. The twins are creepy.

mistakes were made: Next we'll find out Kirishima and Tetsutetsu are twins or something.

ordained: We are. Mom got me, Dad got him. Our Mom has Diamond Skin and Dad has Dermal Armor. We're twins, I'm about an hour older than him and our parents separated and remarried before our quirks even came in.

mistakes were made: Oh my god.

daddy issues: I'm adding that to my conspiracy board and nobody will stop me or they will get pinned to the conspiracy board.

Taglist: @lgbtforeverything @rin-tanaka @everythingisstardust @paint-in-flames @t4t-ummiurk

[tellywoodtrash]

balh2 31.08.21 lb

priya stops the auto to let ram in, but he's whisked away in the now-fixed car by his posse, and she's like yeahhhhhhh seems about right for rich ppl, and goes her way.

very subtle playing of song show title is based on. ram hums along happily while priya tells auto bhaiyya to pls turn it off. lol she really does hate any type of sentimentality, and i'm here for this peak grumpy girl representation.

blah blah time waste establishing ram's family. aaaaaaaaaand they have shubhaavi choksey playing his mom when she's the same age as him irl. wonderful. best. very nice. i'm not angry about this at all.

snobby rich ppl greeting exchange. air kisses missing.

priya comes home to discover maitreyi and her husband are visiting. she just ignores them and walks into her room.

meanwhile ram walks into heartache after heartache. ek toh sagaai went on without him, and shivi's toast is only for her other brother shubham and her mom and her besties. (one of whom looks very familiar, where do i know her from???????) anyway someone give ram a (non-vegan) cupcake to feel better from having a shitty fam.

vedu notices ram and points him out to shivi, who's suddenly all RAM BHAIIIIIIIIIIIII, MY BIGGEST SUPPORTERRRRRRRR. pssssh.

oh btw, that fucker who wanted to use that totally non happening video for blackmail seems to be vedu's husband/???

ponky from naagin 5 is a friend of ram's. but he's a literal fetus???? i'd have thought he was a younger brother ala rudra.

priya's brother has his fucking shoes on her bed and mereko jo gussa aa raha hai na by goddddddd. YOU JUST CAME IN FROM THE FUCKING RAIN YOU DIRTYASS............

anyway priya's like idgaf that maitreyi married my ex bf.

"humein khush rehne ke liye kisi ki zaroorat nahi hoti." she's saying words i agree with, but show immediately cops out by showing her tearing up and blubbering "i don't need anyone, i'm fiiiiiiiiiine" unconvincingly. guh. idk if i'm gonna be able to watch this show if it keeps diluting its messages like this.

ram toh udhar giving lecture on baarish. BRO ENOUGH. I AM SO DONE WITH THIS TOPIC OF CONVERSATION. itna toh baarish se lagaan ke champaaner waalon ko pyaar nahi tha jitna iss show mein log karte hain.

priya doing a very convincing mimickry of kinda pretentious maitreyi to entertain one new younger sibling. how many fucking siblings does priya have??????? (too fuckin many, is the answer.)

i do not appreciate the characterization of ram's chamcha friend's wife as a nagging ball and chain type.

new mangatar and bitchy shubham are snidely remarking about ram and his bechaara broken dil thanks to vedika.

ok if shivaay was obnoxiously self assured, ram is just......... almost annoyingly roll over and show your belly type of soft and diplomatic and people pleasing. only extremes for nakuul sir i guess.

adi's wife (brinda?) catches him looking out into baarish and shedding a few silent tears, and she's here to nag HIM now about getting a wife. yes brinda, because you make marriage look like SUCHHHHH AN APPEALING PROSPECT.

ram's like no i don't need anyone and then wistfully stares at vedu saying i'll never find someone who loves like she does her husband.

brinda's like it's all fake, dude. real couples fight and argue and cuss at each other and wow.... i think brinda and adi might need couples' counseling coz..... you're not SUPPOSED to be so complacent about your marriage being so dysfunctional.

oh breakup was 6-7 saal pehle. ok yeah sir you should have gotten over it by now. therapy for you too.

NO NOT THE EK TARFA PYAAR KI TAAQAT SPEECH NO FUCKIN NO OK

SHUBHAAVI AS NAKUUL'S MOM WILL NEVER NOT ENRAGE ME. I NEVER THOUGHT IT'D GET WORSE THAN MANASI SALVI, BUT LOVE THAT TELLYWOOD MANAGES TO FUCKING ENRAGE ME WITH THIS SHIT WITH EVERY NEW SHOW.

priya refuses to have ice cream because of her principles against capitalism. which............... ok??? there's no ethical consumption under capitalism, sis. just eat the overpriced ice cream.

just realised that the eldest sister is played by the actress who was jai's elder sister in just mohabbat.

anyway eldest sister (sara) and youngest sister (sandy) are team!priya over maitreyi.

priya is as anti-shaadi as me and asks sara if she's happy (priya clearly doesn't think much of sara's husband who leaves all the child-rearing to her, in addition to running the bakery) and sara's like "maate, mujhpe mat shuru ho jaate, pls" snort. yeah, no one likes their bad choices rubbed in their faces.

oh, their dad ran away after allll the betiyaan and married someone else. zindagi gulzar hai sitch hai.

more of priya asserting that she's happy single and show undermining her with the music cues and character reactions. fuck this messaging. why can't it be that she's genuinely happy single and ram is just a good complementary partner she finds and decides to change her mind about marriage coz that's what they want for themselves. i hate this black and white nonsense.

sisters are forcing priya to go on a date (with whom?????) and the scene just cuts off awkwardly.

ram has PINK shoes on today. man this is so a nakuul thing, this one (1) atrangi styling element of an otherwise formally dressed man.

ram also being set up on date by adi/brinda. should be with someone else, i guess. i don't think brinda and priya run in the same circles.

ram is right in that the least these ppl could do is ask consent before setting it all up.

priya is grumpily refusing to do any thaam jhaam dress up for date. good for her.

lol @ sara trying to sneak away priya's beloved raincoat.

anyway psych 101 shit ki priya has confidence issues and is so down on herself that she rejects everyone before they can reject her.

lmao priya is me at hearing the date is in some hoity toity place where they give small portions for exorbitant amounts of money.

sara di gets call ki some "unhone" didn't pay their share of bakery emi? the nikkamma husband? or some other business partner??

priya is out on warpath to go confront that person.

she's psyching herself up outside their door. i think it's her dad?

OMG CHACHI FROM IMMJ2 LMAO, IS SHE THE SECOND WIFE?

ok dad's a rudeass fuck. he's all she's not my daughter, but all ready to dole out thappads when she says it like it is. sperm donors like these should be kneed in the nads.

idgi tho? there's ONE beta there tho???? is akshay not his biological son?????

anyway, priya is right in thinking men suck. #yesAllMen

precap: her date niiiiiiicely validates the misandry by being a fucking jerk. looks like ram is cheering her up in a sweet moment? priya catches akshay getting cosy with.... shivi i guess??? idk all these girls look the same to me. #faceblindness

[virgil-is-a-cutie]

Bio!Mom Max Black Headcanons

Two Broke Girls x MLB crossover

Based on this

When Caroline's movie about her life story was starting production Caroline finally had the courage to tell Max how she felt

The two dated for 4 months before Max decided they should marry

Mostly because she's known Caroline for so long that she literally knows she wants her as her wife

They were going to elope but Caroline told her dad which ended with Max being told by Martin he wanted his princess to be properly married

Sophie helped with the wedding not caring about the price

Caroline and Max got married at the prison where Martin was in so that Martin can give away Caroline and watch her get married

Of course, the news and paparazzi got wind of it and so much to Max's annoyance, the wedding was live streamed

They decided to just add the other's last name instead of one taking the other's

Caroline wore this with her hair in small side braid

Max wore this with her hair in a bun with a few curls framing her face.

Earl walked Max down the "isle"

Martin fought the urge to cry seeing his only daughter get married

He was glad that it was Max really

After a year of being married Caroline quietly mumbled as they cuddled

"Do you think about having kids?"

After a bit of talking they decided to use a sperm donor although, her twin cousin Darcy was able to get Bruce Banner to use both Max and Caroline eggs and the sperm donor to make the baby

Caroline was the one to carry the baby

A month before the baby was born their business boomed because of Caroline's movie and they eventually had a good business

They have a baby girl who they name Marinette Cathy Channing-Black

She had Caroline's eyes and Max's hair

Of course, Sophie wants to be the godmother, but Max puts her foot down that it would most likely be her cousin

Much to Caroline's shock Tony Stark is their daughter's godfather

Pepper is her godmother

As Marinette grows up she likes to watch her mom bake

She learns Korean from her uncle Han

Earl babysits whenever her moms are busy

Earl is her grandpa who she and Max consider him her dad

The cupcake business rises and they're very successful

Caroline is glad they finally left the crappy apartment

Caroline eventually is told by her father that she has an uncle who lives in Paris

It's Gabriel Agreste

Caroline is an Agreste in her mother's side really

And that he's the half sibling of Audrey Bourgeois

Audrey made Andre take her last name

Basically making her a Bourgeois through her father

This is when Mari is 13 years old and they decide to expand the cupcake business to Paris, France

Marinette is both excited and annoyed to move mostly because she won't be around to annoy uncle Tony or any of the Avengers

Marinette was almost the spitting image of her mother Max from her pale complexion to her hair, but she had Caroline's eyes and physic

When they get to Paris Caroline sets a meeting with both Gabriel and Audrey

Of course the two are shocked at the news that they're related through marriage

The reason being because Caroline's mom is Gabriel's sister and Martin is Audrey's older half brother

Making both of them Marinette's great uncle/aunt

And basically making two certain blondes her cousins

As well a certain cousin of said one of the blondes

Marinette is a mix of both her moms

She's sweet but very sarcastic and just...kinda like Max

The small Channing-Black family live in a decent comfortable home, not too flashy

Audrey brings Chloé over and Chloé is shocked to hear she has relative, she's somewhat excited

And Chloé is just...shocked to find out she's related to Adrien, her Adrikins before smiling widely

Chloé actually isn't a bully, she acts like it in school to see how far the stupid teacher would let it go and after she's mean to the ones she was she informs the person on what she was doing so as they don't feel bad

Surprisingly it's a lot and she's getting annoyed that Ms. Bustier won't at least do shit

On the first day of school when the Akuma strikes, much to her surprise Chloé freezes and pees herself before shielding herself behind Mari

"This sounds oddly familiar," the ravenette says giggling before scowling, "hey!"

The akuma strikes before Chloé has a chance to introduce her cousins because Adrien couldn't make it

Mari doesn't get the ladybug miraculous bc she just moved

Doesn't stop Master Fu from giving her the Cat Miraculous

She names herself Chat de Ruelle, Alley Cat

She doesn't keep it a secret from her moms who instantly tells Tony who comes whenever he can to help her train

Her outfit as Chat is similar to Lady Noir but her curls are in a messy bun and her mask covers her whole face except her mouth

It also has body armor and spikes on her wrists, tail, and elbows

She got Caroline's clumsiness but mostly that she has things fall on her or anything really but shes's not overly clumsy

On the second day of school she meets Adrien and she and Chloé practically ambush him and tell him that they're related

This makes Adrien happy but is somewhat confused before Mari informs him on how so

Mari is basically done with Ms. Bustier on the first day, complains to her moms who basically storm into the classroom to give her a piece of their mind

Does not help that Chloé turned in the evidence to the school board

Ms. Bustier quits before being informed she is not allowed to teach at all anymore

Adrien does become friends with Nino but not with Alya since Mari sits behind Chloé and Sabrina

Mari only becomes friends with Nathaniel and Nino

As the 3 cousins hang out she basically takes them wherever and causes trouble to the delight of her mom Max and to Caroline's concern

Caroline, Max, and Amilie basically threaten Gabriel to treat Adrien better

Although, Caroline and Max instantly adopt him

Max, Mari's mom, told Adrien that he reminded her of those two Amish boys who stayed with them for a week at the apartment

Chestnut came too by the way

Adrien doesn't flirt with Chat while he is Mister Bug because they're bffs

Max's cupcake shop is outside the school because Caroline wanted Mari to go to Dupont

Alya and Lila Salt

Alya is never told by Mari what her last name is, she usually doesn't pay attention to anyone else's name once her name is called but Mari has told her cousins and friend when addressing her to go by Black

So to the rest of the class she's known as Marinette Black

So she of course doesn't get an interview with Mister Bug because Chat told him not to because she doesn't trust the girl, she screams of wanting to be famous no matter what

Alya doesn't care for cupcakes the audacity

When Lila comes around she speaks about being a family friend of the Channing family

Bad luck for her is that Max and Caroline came to drop of Marinette at school much to her embarrassment

And Max basically ripped the Rossi girl a new one not caring who watched

Alya is shocked to see THE Caroline Channing at school

"How do you know Caroline Channing and Max Black? The great cupcake bakers?!" she screeches to Mari

"I'd like it if you don't speak to our daughter that way Ms. Césaire, please? We don't tolerate harassment from tabloid reporters," Caroline says gently while Max eyes the glasses wearing girl

"D...daughter?" Alya stutters before glaring at Marinette who rolls her eyes

"You're looking at me as if I killed your dog, they're my moms. My whole name is Marinette Cathy Channing-Black."

Everyone in the class sort of new because they always went to the cupcake shop after school

Lila does try her shit but Mari shrugs her off

Lila tries to hang off of Adrien but both Caroline and Max shut that shit down and tell Gabriel to get a restraining order on the Rossi girl as well a threat of lawsuit

Might make more and make this Maribat really idk yet

Tag list: @luciferge @zebrabaker @fantasyfandommaiden @unmaskedagain @queenmj10 @limetchenart @ascending-donotdisturb

[naturaldisasterfanfiction]

34. Part 6

I shuddered at the thought, the thought of me having to play mother to a child that isn’t even mine. I hope she gathers herself for her child “not going to lie but even if I was angry with Chris, and I was hurt. I wouldn’t be bothered. I would take my child and be happy. I hope she acts right, I’m not for kids being hurt but if she goes bad and doesn’t take care of him and then Chris is gonna look to me, and then what” I said to Mel “you married a man with kids Robyn, it could happen but don’t wish these things into existence but I think that bitch is mentally unstable anyway, it’s scary. How she snapped at that boy, but I wouldn’t mind Roro being here, she’s such a happy child. That is what I like about her. I mean I think with him he may have been brainwashed with her ways; you know!?” Mel ain’t wrong “I’m not sure about him at all, Chris doesn’t have that bond anyways but if Chris ends up going court and then wins more rights over his son then I wanted, then I’m kind of not going to be happy” Mel snorted laughing “be nice to the bitch then” side eyeing Mel “nah, she ain’t getting my money, she can fuck herself. Chris is just not rubbing my feet right now, he’s here on his phone. He needs to be like me, not care for my phone” I huffed out “but I think you may need to have that thought in your mind and accept what may happen, you know?” Mel is right “let me check on what he’s doing, I don’t want people upsetting him. He likes to read into things, I need his page deleting again” walking around the counter slowly, he has not moved away from his phone at all. The thing is people love to harass Chris because they know he takes it to heart, and cares because Chris was looking at me with puppy dog eyes and then I spoke. That bitch is a bully, and I won’t have it, he just wants to a quiet life. Chris is not weak, never that but he just wants a quiet life that he pays the bitch money, like now. She’s using Aeko as a ploy to get to him. I know his son won’t go hungry; he will be ok. I am keeping the care packages; I don’t even care about that. I don’t know where that bitch is mentally, but if things get bad I’m gonna have to have that child here. I’m not a bad person but still, I rather not.

Resting my arm on Chris’ shoulder looking down at his phone, why is my husband like this. Why does he have to get himself caught up on Instagram, pressing a kiss to the back of his head “what are you doing? We are supposed to be going upstairs” this man is staring at his tagged pictures “huh” he looked up at me “what is it? Talk to me, why are you staring at your phone and not looking at me? It’s our time” he poked his lower lip out “they are saying mean things?” I think they are “Fenty isn’t mine, they are saying how ugly I was as a baby when your forehead was bigger than my phone screen, and apparently my mom liked a post but like what if she didn’t read the caption” I sighed out “delete Instagram, you was happier without it. I want you to delete it, once you can handle the shit people say then you can go back on it. I don’t want to treat you like a child but it’s not good for your mental being when you are trying to better yourself, people are gonna tag you in shit. It’s bullying, they always do it to you. What did your mom like, tell me?” I rather we speak on it then just leaving it alone “that Rihanna got what she wanted, a baby. She will throw him soon, DNA test needed” rolling my eyes “Delete your Instagram, you don’t need this negativity” Joyce is asking for a beating from me, she is digging into this hole that she can’t escape “Robyn, Tina is on the phone, Joyce is trying to contact you?” Frowning at Dennis, Joyce is trying to call be “Joyce who?” Walking of towards Dennis and see what the fuck is up “my mom?” Chris said behind me, that boy adores his mom and she’s a bitch “is on mute?” I asked Dennis following him into the living room “yeah, Tina called and was like is Robyn there because if so Joyce is on the phone, i said who? She said Chris’ mother, I mean she has Chris’ number right?” Looking behind me and I knew Chris would be behind me following me, I didn’t want him too, but he did, I don’t blame him because it is his mother.

Taking my phone from Dennis, taking in a deep breath before answering “Tina” I said “she’s muted but she called on withheld and she said she got in touch with your manager, I’m like Robyn is her own boss so chile, I don’t know. But your publicist called me, but can I put her through?” Tina said “but what does she want? Didn’t she say what the issue was? She has her son’ number, I don’t get that she rang you like this” turning to Chris all in my space “Chris, I am going to go into another room, private. This is a private talk between us, and I don’t want you to be upset about shit yeah, then I mean it. We are going! Let the world go to shit, I don’t care. One minute Tina” moving my phone away from my ear “but I would like to hear what she has to say, it’s not fair, why didn’t she ring me. Why am I being penalised, for what!?” he spat “because she is what she is, I promise I will tell you what she says, do you trust me?” I asked “I do but I want to hear” he is hard headed but so can I “if you trust me then you will let me go and I will be back to tell you, I would not let her ever disrespect you but I can’t concentrate on this call and see your sad face, you know” Chris has this sad face now because he’s been reading shit “fine, you better tell her that she is hurting me” nodding my head “I will, just wait here. I will be back” walking by Chris “yeah so Tina, did she mention anything to you? Like what the fuck this is about!?” I would like to know anything before I answer this call “nothing, just that can I speak to Robyn, I did say she is busy and she said with my son then it clicked on who she is, Chris’ mother so yeah” rolling my eyes “ok put her through” I will go into the second living area, hopefully Chris stays put.

Sitting down on the couch “you called” I said, she is being awfully quiet for a woman that called me “I have never been an evil person Robyn, I love. I love everything and everyone, and you have married my son I see” she said “he married me, he purposed to me. I didn’t kidnap your son, clearly you think I brainwashed your grown ass son. He made his decision” I don’t want to snap at her “he is brainwashed when it comes to you, you had sex with him unprotected knowing full well what you wanted” and she says she is nice “what I wanted? Oh yes, I wanted to be the third baby mother, I wanted to be caught up in Chris’ issues, I wanted to play step mother, yes I wanted to deal with Chris’ bipolar and his odd ways, yes I wanted that. I wanted to heal Chris from his past because he hasn’t healed himself because nobody fucking cared to do it, yes Joyce! I wanted that, any sane bitch would just do what that bitch in Germany has done, oh you are just vile. Why the fuck would I wait all these years of my life to be in this situation!? Huh? Riddle me this, why is it you’re still stuck on the fact I stole your son? I didn’t steal Joyce, I took a broken man that was stuck on drugs and because I love him, if it wasn’t love he would be on the fucking streets and he would be a sperm donor, fuck!” I snapped, I just couldn’t hold back on that “you one big deluded bird” I need to not be rude “you got that bitch crying it’s love, and you crying I stole a boy you didn’t care about! Yes he is an adult, you right Joyce, he is a grown adult that his own mother failed him, I mean I am mothering him, oh wow. I am angry at you! I should be telling you, you stole your son’ adulthood because you shipped him off in his childhood to New Jersey because you couldn’t handle him, you leave him alone Joyce. You called me for what!? Hurt that I married him, mhmm. You can also stop using his name to sell your old people clothing, nobody wants those tacky shits, you also are on the list to not use his name. Only me, his daughters, his son will use his name. You! Let me find out you do, you’re getting sued, I suggest you sign those papers too Joyce!” the phone disconnected, just like that she ran off, I will not put up with shit.

I have known Chris since we were teenagers, I know everything about him, and I fucking know everything. His mother couldn’t handle him, she shipped him off. How can she allow her son to have sex as a child, I would like to murder her to be honest and they expect him to be sane. Fuck that, but that is done now. Getting up from the couch, I am done and if I get another issue now I am going to scream. I want to have some peace with Chris, no drama. I opened the door and Chris was already stood there “you don’t listen do you” tilting my head a little “you know me, you was sticking by me, like you out here dishing out gag orders on people” I chuckled “Chris, you’re my husband. I will be doing what I can, I am always doing something. I am sticking by you, like you do me. It’s ok, no evil will come between us. She will be coming to you Chris; she will want you ok?” Chris nodded his head “did you delete your Instagram?” that is the first thing “yeah, I turned my phone off too. Mel said it was be best if I did. Too much drama happening now, like people are all up in the air about it. Us being married” smiling at Chris “that is fine, I need to give my phone Dennis then we are going upstairs. We can talk about anything you like too. I am all ears, but you need to rub my feet” walking into the kitchen “those are my snacks! Get off, this fat bitch needs it but here Dennis. And please look after my daughter. If she does play up then you may come to us, do not post pictures of her, not the face anyways, you know the deal. Have fun” Jah looks like he is up to no good “he wants to wake her” Mel said “don’t bother, she will hate you for it” I said walking off “gummy drop want foot rubs huh” Chris put his arm around me “I do, and you better deliver. I think maybe we should literally sit in our robes too” I was in my robe, but I put something on to come down, after the minor meltdown earlier which I am over now.

I giggled seeing Chris in my Savage x Fenty robe, I swear he is the cutest “so you got boxers on?” I have to ask because you never know, he lifted the Robe showing me his boxers “ohhhhhh Savage Fenty boxers now? Mhmm I wonder who designed those, your dick looks bigger in those” I winked at Chris “my wife did that, I like them and this robe. I feel like a brand new guy” raising my leg at Chris “come on now” Chris chuckled getting onto the bed, he grabbed my foot “be nice now” side eyeing him gripping my foot, he sat across from me “do you have panties on?” Chris stretched my leg out to check and I yelped out “aye, I see your coochie” trying to reach over to slap his hand but Chris has a grip on my foot now “I have panties on thank you” laying back on the bed “I was just testing you gummy drop, if you take your robe off, I will take mine off” frowning at him “mhmm why you want me to take my robe off Christopher? After calling me gummy drop, I am not removing anything” Chris moved his hand and came over to me, hovering over me “I miss this” looking up at him “this position?” Chris grinned, biting on my bottom lip “I do, a lot actually” reaching my hand up and placing it at the side of Chris’ cheek, he lowered his head as he rested it on my shoulder, wrapping my arm around his neck, he didn’t lay on me but he was careful with me and just rested his head on my shoulder “I love you” pressing a kiss to the side of his neck.

[girllovescomic]

Winter Begonia episode 33 recap

The episode start with Lin Danqiu talking about finding what he thought was his family, wanting to turn his life around, but his crippling gambling debt prevented him from doing so. Aiyu told him everything would be alright, she would sell their ancestor’s estate and pay off his debts.  At that moment, he decided/realized that he was a Zeng, that Aiyu and him were blood sibling, as he received such a huge favor from the family he never knew.  That gave him motivation to protect his ‘sister’, to carry on the ancestral line and repay their kindness.  That is all fine and dandy, but that is not your family.  You are not blood, Rui Rui is.  He slaps himself upon the realization that he got his sister to debase herself for his sake, telling Rui Rui he is sorry.  

Er Ye arrives at the station looking for his bae.  He spots Zeng Aiyu and asks her if she saw Shang Lao Ban. She tells him that he went for a chat with her gege. She then tells him that Rui Rui told her about Fengyi’s situation.  She seems interesting in hearing about her daughter, but CFT tells her that he is raising the child, not to worry.  She tells him she is not worried, just curious. He tells her that he knows about her prejudice towards opera performers but the troupe would not neglect the baby, will raise her well, and that she will not always live there.  Probably wants to raise the baby with his wife until irresponsible baby Fan Lian grows up.  I vote for keeping the baby with her biological uncle since she is Rui Rui only link to his blood sibling.  OK, Er Ye pulls a picture of his wifey holding his niece and WHY THE FUCK DOES A STRAIGHT DUDE HAVE A PICTURE OF HIS SO-CALLED BROTHER IN HIS POCKET? Give me an explanation show!? He gives it to Aiyu as a keepsake to remind the baby by, and perhaps give her a keepsake of her real brother.  I don’t know, this is still a salient point for me.  The fact that Rui Rui and Danqiu look nothing alike, the fact that she can’t even recognize who her real brother is, bothers me. She looks at her daughter, half sad, half happy, calling the baby My Fengyi.  Sigh. I wish she could raise the child, but single moms back then were a huge no no.  Gone would have been her marriage prospect, her future.  Er Ye asks if she has a picture of herself so that he could show Fengyi that her mother was a beautiful woman. She grabs her purse and pulls a picture.  

Meanwhile, her two brothers comes out, looking disheveled. She asks what happened, looking angrily at Rui Rui asking if he hurt her fake brother.  Lin Danqiu tells her that he was clumsy and fell down the stairs. It’s a little white lie that has a lot of weight; it allows Zeng Aiyu to not leave with rancor in her heart for her real brother. She believes the lie, while Er Ye realizes the sacrifice his bae did in allowing Lin Danqiu to take his place as the eldest Zeng.  Lin Danqiu bids his adieu and they leave for the train.  Lin Danqiu pauses and gives a deep bow, probably of gratitude that he gets to have a life he never thought possible, due to Rui Rui’s sacrifice. Rui Rui calls out to his sister and tells her to take care of herself.  She smiles at him, oblivious of the emotion behind such a simple sentence.  My heart is in pain.  I can’t.  I just want Rui Rui to be happy, to be with his family. WELP. 

In the car, Er Ye tells Rui Rui he really thought his bae would beat Lin Danqiu to death.  Rui Rui replies it is against the law to beat him to death, it’s not worth it.  LOL, wait, since when do you care about such thing?!  He adds that besides, it wouldn’t be punishment enough. Er Ye asks how did he punish him, but Rui Rui remains mum. Er Ye pulls Zeng Aiyu’s picture and gives him to Rui Rui. Awwww, so he actually got the picture for his bae! He tells Rui Rui if he doesn’t tell him how he punished Lin Danqiu he won’t give him the picture. Yooo, you know your Rui Rui can be a bit kooky, don’t play with him.  As expected, Rui Rui tries to grab the picture and covers his eyes while the man is driving.  LOL, I told you Er Ye.  Rui Rui takes the picture while Er Ye is like, you might not care about your life, but I do!  Awww Rui Rui is happy to have a picture of his meimei. LOL, they settle back into their married routine as Rui Rui tells him he is hungry and Er Ye obliges, asking him what does he want to eat. :Cough: I have some ideas... Oh wait, Rui Rui is talking about real food! He wants pan fried pork dumpling.  Hmmm that is also delicious. Er Ye says okay and after that we are going to have a movie date. 

Meanwhile, in the train, Lin Danqiu holds Rui Rui’s pendant. I have to say, this breaks my heart.  Sigh, I am not happy, but I get it, still I am not happy. This would effectively close the possibility of Zeng Aiyu realizing her mistake, since for her the pendant will act as proof that Lin Danqiu is her real brother.  I get why Rui Rui did it and it is a huge sacrifice to make.  Our Rui Rui is growing up.  We see in a flashback that Rui Rui gives him the pendant as he effectively accept that Lin Danqiu is the person his meimei recognizes as her brother and the punishment he has incurred upon Lin Danqiu is to take care and cherish her for his entire life, and for his sake (Rui Rui’s). If he finds out he tricked her or made her suffer, he will kill him.  See, how mature our Rui Rui has become? She sees the pendant and jubilates that her gege has found his lost pendant. He lies and tells her that he suddenly found it while doing his luggage.

Alright, we leave the sadness behind for some ChengShang gushing moment. So, they are discussing the movie they have just watched.  Wait, how late did they stay up?????? Our opera addict Rui Rui comments on the actress acting skills, finding it lowly because all she did is straightened her eyebrow and stare at her costars eyes.  LOL, oh Rui Rui, you would have a tough time watching half of the TV dramas’ actors and actress, some who are so wooden you wonder how they got their part or fame. He compares her to his acting skills, especially her posture and voice, along with the lyrics she sang. He finds it too simplistic. LOL. He adds that Du Qi would have had a fit if he heard that.  I doubt it, since Du Qi lived abroad, therefore as a better knowledge of cinema. Er Ye tells him he thought it was good because it relieves boredom and doesn’t require too much thinking. True, unlike a play, Broadway show or opera, which demands more attention, movies are simple entertainment that can be mindless fun. He says that unlike movies, watching operas can take 3 days for the entire opera to finish. GEEZUS. Yeah, I cannot, sorry Rui Rui. Not only that but you have to know the right time when to shout bravo, when to sing praises, so many freaking rules. If you don’t know the rules, you get ridiculed and called an amateur by an useless sperm donor.  It might be too demanding on the audience. Rui Rui asks what does Er Ye like to watch.  Er Ye tells him he used to watch movies, but now he prefers watching opera, specifically Shang Lao Ban’s operas more.  He tells him that whatever role you play, you bring it to life.  It is like he is inhabited by many souls. Whenever he puts on makeup and costume, the soul will borrow his body and come alive while he is on stage. Once he leaves the stage, the soul departs but the story stays alive in him. Rui Rui tells him his writing sounds just as good as Du Qi and is flattered by the compliment, asking for more. LOL, greedy queen. 

Er Ye is like, who asks for compliments like that, beside you got so many people praising you already, you don’t need me. Rui Rui tells hubby that his words means more to him than others. Er Ye is like fine, I’ll shower you in compliments. Guys, you better get your salt vapors because the next line might make you faint and ask how the fuck did this get past censors. Ok, so I am directly quoting here: “Shang Lao Ban is like a flower, or a fire that only cares about blooming for itself, flaming in a blaze.  For those who likes watching you, you will do your best to show it to them. For those that don’t like watching you, you won’t try to appeal to them by changing yourself and go against your own will. You are such a popular ju’er, but you can still live so freely. This is truly extraordinary. Very rare! It’s true innocence. Everyone says someone like Shang Lao Ban who is so talented can only be looked from afar.  Others do not dare to walk shoulder to shoulder with him. Except for me, Cheng Fengtai, who is willing to go into the fire and stay by your side.” I WANT MY CHENG FENGTAI.  WHO DO I NEED TO GOAD TO HAVE ONE?????? Rui Rui is so taken aback that he stops walking to look at his hubby.  

Er Ye asks what is it. Really Er Ye, after saying such words, you ask him why he is stopping in his track?! Awww shit, trouble is brewing as we heard voices from an alleyway. Rui Rui follows the voices and runs up to the alleyway, followed by Er Ye.  A woman is fighting off two lecherous dudes. Rui Rui is pissed, probably thinking of his sister if she were in this situation.  He kicks one of them and threatens the lecherous men. One of them tells the woman she should have told them she had a lover. Man GTFO with that shit.  The woman recognizes him as he asks if she is okay.  Er Ye is like, goddmammit, another fan trying to take away my bae’s precious time.  LOL, Rui Rui is like, awww shit, yeah, grabbing his hubby so he wouldn’t have to deal with the fangirl.  She blocks their path and tells Rui Rui she’s been looking for them. He is like, que? Who are you? She seems to struggle to say.

We see a man wearing a cast with a bottle of booze. Oh My GOD, it’s my bae Chen Renxiang!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOO. Rui Rui asks what happened to Chen Lao Ban to be in such a state.  It turns out the woman is the talkative prostitute from Nanjing who had taken Chen Lao Ban away before meeting Liu Hanyun.  She had sought her freedom from the brothel and come to him in Shanghai.  Upon her arrival, he was already in such disheveled state.  Rui Rui asks his bae and the ex-prostitute to leave the room so he can have a heart-to-heart with Chen Renxiang.  Rui Rui believes Chen Lao Ban put himself in such a state because he lost the competition.  He tells him if he had been the one to lose, he would have done everything to better himself so he could fight him out once more.  He had been impressed by how he had defended him against his uncle, seeing him as a hero so how did he become such a coward? Chen Lao Ban still remains quiet as Rui Rui lambast him, saying unlike the ex-prostitute he would have left him to die since he doesn’t seem to care about his own well-being. He sets out to leave when our sad ju’er finally speaks.  He tells Rui Rui that he is indeed a coward and that the girl doesn’t care that he lives or die.  Rui Rui yells at him that he is ungrateful dog for ignoring all the effort to girl has made to seek Rui Rui out and beg him to help Chen Renxiang out.  Xiang Xiang replies that he is not talking about the ex-prostitute named Yueling, but his Shanghai girlfriend he had mentioned when they were on their way to Shanghai after the Liyuan Association incident.  Apparently her parents did not approve of their relationship, thus the lovers decided to elope, however, they were caught by goons hired by her family.  They broke his leg and dump him barren fields while taking her back home.  He asks Rui Rui if he wasn’t a coward, what would he be? Rui Rui is like, yes, you are a coward since his girlfriend probably as no idea that he is injured and hiding out getting drunk off his ass. How would she know he is alright or care whether he is alive or dead if she doesn’t know where he is.  That makes him an ungrateful dog, which Xiang Xiang tries to deny, but Rui Rui interrupts him telling him he thought of an idea for him to help him reach out to his girlfriend. Get his leg treated, so he can perform opera with Rui Rui, like this everyone in China will be talking about it, thus his girlfriend will be able to find him. Isn’t it better than him being a drunken stupor? This seems to bring a bit of hope to Xiang Xiang until he remembers the conditions of their bet.  Rui Rui laughs at that, telling him he wasn’t serious about not letting him perform for a year.  He tells him he will find a doctor to help set his leg back and that he needs to clean up and stop drinking. Xiang Xiang thank him for being his savior, but Rui Rui doesn’t want to hear his gratitude, he just wants him to perform well on stage as a thank you. Btw, even disheveled Tan Jian Ci is one sexy bish.

It takes everyone to help calm Xiang Xiang down while the doctor tries to set his leg.  LOL, Rui Rui tells him that a girl is looking at him while he screams like one.  The doctor gives Yueling some after-care directives. Rui Rui asks the doctor if his leg will get better, but the doctor is slightly optimistic. Sugar daddy and husband of the over eager penguin asks to speak to the doctor away from the sensitive ju’ers. Xiang Xiang senses something is wrong as he repeats it is destine disaster, then laughs.  Rui Rui thinks he’s cray cray, but Xiang Xiang tells him he is laughing at his uncle Jiang Rongshou for having a useless son who he cannot impart his skills to, which kept him from teaching his fairy steps to anyone, until he finally taught it to Xiang Xiang, but now he is crippled, the Jiang Family fairy steps will be lost forever.  Xiang Xiang tells Rui Rui that he got his revenge against the elder Jiang, but Rui Rui does not seem to gleeful at the prospect, which even gets Xiang Xiang attention. Rui Rui is like, yeah, I am on bad term with the old fart, but I have nothing against the Fairy Steps. In fact, it would hurt him to see such a superb skill get lost. WHY ARE YOU SO PRECIOUS???? I cannot, he is to sweet, my baby boy!!! Xiang Xiang bemoans the fact that he learned the skill so late in his career, having little time to master the essence of the skill.  If he had learned it since he was a kid and hone the skills for years, he probably wouldn’t have lost against Rui Rui, who agrees.  AGAIN WHY ARE YOU SO PRECIOUS? Xiang Xiang reveals that when he returned to Shanghai, an Italian fan asked to film his fairy steps and show them in Italy (damn, they were that popular!!!), but they didn’t agree on the price and he worried about his uncle’s objections, so it didn’t work out.  He also regrets not taking any disciples to impart of his skills, and now he ponders who would remember his performances.  STOP IT, OMG, I CANNOT ANYMORE.  My Xiang Xiang is so depressed!! Rui Rui gets philosophical and replies the current situation is too precarious, especially for performers who may not have time to pass down their skills on time.  What would be left for future generations to appreciate.  Xiang Xiang replies that life and death go hand in hand, and that ups and downs are inevitable.  This sounds like a man who has given up.  I am balling. Rui Rui tries to comfort him, telling him to stop spitting such depressing things like life and death.  How can he be dead when he met him.  LOL, oh Rui Rui.  He advises him to just live his life and that his girlfriend still waits for him. Xiang Xiang is like, you are right, I must live well and wipes his tears away. 

Alone, he dreams about that fateful day when him and his girlfriend were running away from the goons employed by her family.  Out of breath and tired of running, Renxiang decides to send her to hide while he deals with the goons, but unfortunately, she is taken away.  As he asks the goons where she is, one of them taunts him, talking about his fairy steps and how it mesmerized the first miss (his girlfriend). Wait, what? DIdn’t he have this girlfriend prior to learning the Fairy Steps?  I am confused. The man tells him he must break his legs so this filthy actor would not seduce any more young ladies from other good families.  DAFUQ.  I am tired at how everyone is looking down at opera actors.  Even servants act uppity towards them.  They are good enough to sleep with and be toys for the rich, but they can’t have meaningful relationship with them? That is fucked up. He wakes, all sweaty while Yueling comes in to bring the medicine.  Then we switch to him doing some physical therapy with the crotches. The doctor tells him he is recovering well and Xiang Xiang presses him to find out when he could go back to the stage so he can reach out to his girlfriend.  Yueling is like, no way, you are still recovering! It is clear that she loves him, but he is too enamored with his little rich miss. The doctor agrees with her, but Rui Rui is like, who cares about your legs, your voice is not harmed, so we’ll perform a literary piece and he will take of him on stage. Er Ye just stands there, smiling at his smol husband, and I can’t fault him for that. Xiang Xiang seems encouraged by Rui Rui’s pep talk, but Yueling is not happy. 

That paper boy is busy af with Rui Rui selling newspapers like hotcakes. He announces the joint performance of Chen Lao Ban and Shang Lao Ban. Oh my Xiang Xiang looks good!! Oh wait, his twin Rui Rui, also wearing a white gown.  Xiang Xiang is anxious while Rui Rui tells him to get ready for their performance.  Apparently Xiang Xiang is waiting for someone, perhaps someone who had news of his girlfriend or his girlfriend herself. Rui Rui replies that he has been waiting for days and there has been no news.  Maybe he told her about his family and she may have gone to Beiping to find him. Right at that moment, someone asks for him.  He delivers a letter for him.  

We see him looking at picture.  Behind it are words written: “ We are not destined to be together in this lifetime.  Hope we’ll each live well separately.” OH NO, it’s the girlfriend!  I cannot figure out Xiang Xiang mood at this moment.  It is kind of indescribable.  Then, as he rubs the foundation in between his palms, a tear falls on the back of his.  Oh my poor baby looks defeated, yet, a strange smile is on his face. He talks to himself as he stares at the mirror asking why he looks like a ghost.  He tells himself that he looks ugly and depressed. I CAN’T CONTINUE, I AM CRYING TOO MUCH.  I have a bad feeling about this guys, I just...sigh. He continue saying that he no longer wants to see himself anymore.  Tears are forming in my eyes, everything is blurry.  

We see him on the stage and the audience is asking why this third sister is carrying a sword.  This is not part of this opera, so they wonder if they changed the opera at the last minute. My Xiang Xiang looks beautiful while the other actors are asking the same question as the audience.  His character, Sister Yu is not supposed to have a sword. Even the orchestra is baffled.  Seriously, who allowed him to carry the sword? Isn’t there anyone to take care of the props? Where is Rui Rui? Xiang Xiang starts singing without the music when Rui Rui finally appears.  I guess he was still in his room getting ready.  One of the actors asks him what is going on.  I don’t think Rui Rui has any idea. He looks at the audience for their reactions and can see the confusion on their faces, but they remain quiet, no booing. The lyrics seemed to encapsulate his life, especially the moment that effectively broke his heart, destroyed his soul.  Oh my God, no amount of makeup is able to cover the sadness on his face.  GAAAH, and now this show has decided to rip out my heart and step on it, as Jiang Rongshou is seen, lounging on his chair, eyes closed.  NOOO, SHOW DON’T DO THIS TO ME!!! We can hear Renxiang singing while we see Jiang Rongshou reaching out for his tea cup, but knocking it down.  Oh, I know what that means in dramaspeak and I don’t want to see it.  NO SHOW, please, don’t do this!!  We see my lovely Xiang Xiang swinging the sword and cut his throat, much to the surprise of the actors, including Rui Rui. OH MY GOD I CAN’T.  Jiang Rongshou is feeling some malaise as his son comes to see what is wrong.  As Dengbao cleans up (despite my dislike of him, he is really a filial son).  Jiang Senior shakes his head and says he doesn’t know.  He’s been dozing off today and then asks if the young actors are still training.  Dengbao confirms, but Jiang senior seems dissatisfied by them and their progress.  They can’t seem to get the basic movements right, yet want to learn the fairy steps. He reminisce about Xiang Xiang and how he was able to learn 70-80 percent of the opera at their age.  Dengbao replies how can they compare to the very talented Xiang Xiang.  Dengbao tells his father to be patient for Xiang Xiang to make the Fairy Steps famous once he returns to the stage, but grumpy papa Jiang reproach Xiang Xiang for not writing to him since he went back to Shanghai.  WAIL, he has no idea of the state Xiang Xiang was! Dengbao is like, you know how Shanghai is, Renxiang is probably having the time of his life.  Why you do this to me show? Grumpy Jiang is like, yeah, when he is with me, he pretends to be filial, once he leave, he forgets all about me. Sigh, this show knows how to humanize these characters, even the ones you learn to hate.  I hate this show. Stop making me have so much feels right now, even for the Jiangs! Papa Jiang cares for Xiang Xiang, wanting to see how he has improved once he return to perform.  He dozes off again, and OH NO SHOW, STOOOOOPPPP.  Don’t do this, don’t have Xiang Xiang voice from beyond the grave call on his uncle, asking to look at him. Startled, Jiang papa calls out for Xiang’er, asking if that is him.  Jiang papa is taken aback and thinks its his old age causing his to have auditory hallucinations.  WELP

Back at casa de Er Ye, we see our Rui Rui sitting pensively as he stares at the window.  Er Ye opens the door and quietly enters the room.  In the most romantic gestures this show encapsulate (they have so many, especially post-baby drama), Er Ye uses his fingers to imitate a camera, wanting to capture his hubby form forever.  THE GAY IS EXPLODING IN MY FACE.  If you still have doubt that Er Ye is utterly in love with his bratty penguin, I don’t know what to tell you.  He walks up to him and sits in front of his beautiful wifey.  So damn domestic!  Oh my God is Er Ye really saying this right now? The sun has cast a pattern on your outfit.  It’s just like dressing with a golden robe? This is too poetic! I want a man like this.  Now I am crying again. He bemoans not bringing a camera to immortalize that moment.  He probably would have carried the picture in his pocket like he did the one he gave to Rui Rui sister.  He adds that if he went to get the camera, the moment would be lost since the sun would set. Rui Rui eyes are closed as he responds that yes, the moment would be gone, nothing stays.  I guess he is referring to Xiang Xiang and the whole Shanghai trip. Er Ye agrees that the good times don’t last long, and tells him to take it easy. Rui Rui tells Er Ye that Chen Renxiang died on stage, it’s also considered a worthy death.  Is it though? He didn’t with a happy heart, sacrificing himself for his art.  He died depressed, realizing that everything he held dear was gone. What saddens Rui Rui is that life is unpredictable.  Awww, our boy is learning about the realities of life and shedding a bit of his naivety. He bemoans what it entails to the legacy of the Fairy Steps since there is no one to showcase it on stage, and how an accident could also make his Goddess Dance along with the Shang Family Stick skill could disappear forever.  You got to be thankful we live in the modern era where cameras captured all the dances forever for future generation to learn and nurture.  Imagine the thousands of dances lost to us because there were no longer practitioners who cared to learn them or died without imparting their skills. This is indeed disheartening. Er Ye gets philosophical and says that God’s intention is hard to fathom and so is a person’s heart.  He adds that Rui Rui’s time in Shanghai has widened his understanding of the world, introducing him to foreign things outside of his Beiping environment. Some were nice and fun, and sheer temptations.  Even if life was an utopia, without birth, old age, diseases or deaths, it would be hard to guarantee that he would not succumbed to those temptations, wanting to throw away those things passed down by his ancestors (although Er Ye says ‘our’). Rui Rui says that he won’t, to which Er Ye replies that he might not, but can he guarantee that his apprentice won’t? That subsequent apprentices won’t?  You cannot predict the future, nor can he predict what people or God have in store. The only thing that could remedy this is to encapsulate it on film, so it can be passed down for a long time.  I agree with Er Ye on that point that movie is long lasting, but in a time of war, films can also be destroyed, either by fire or by enemies wanting to push their propaganda. Anyhoo, Rui Rui is not ready to agree to it, stating that a camera can only shoot the form of a person, there aren’t any details.  It is the degree of the expressions, measurement of the footwork, the precision of the hand movements, that can be captured accurately on film and be used as training tools by future generation.  He adds it is like drawing a tiger with a cat as a model, the kids would learn the wrong things. Er Ye replies that Rui Rui makes film sound useless, it is no wonder he is unwilling to make records. LOL, he practically called Rui Rui a technophobe. Rui Rui replies it is because he place too much importance on the audience reaction, he doesn’t dare to be careless about all those details aforementioned.  He lives for the audience, wanting to be sure they enjoy themselves.  Wait, honey, you seem to have no problem provoking them by changing the lyrics.  What gives with this talk of hesitation!? He states that he would rather be tired and take on more apprentices to teach them. Er Ye questions this, asking him how long it would take for him to meet an eager disciple like Xiao Zhouzi. How much effort will it take to turn on into Zhou Lao Ban.  Yeah, he lucked out with him because the boy was an innate talent.  How many out there have such capacity? Rui Rui replies that he will take his time and misses him home, and troupe. Er Ye sighs and says that he also misses his home.  Btw, they’ve been in Shanghai for more than a month (probably three at the time they are talking).  Ugh, I wasn’t expecting to see Er Nainai so quick.  She is still doing accounting, closing out the books for Shuiyin Lou.  LOL, she ended up doing the accounting for them after all.  Oh oh, she is thinking of Fengyi. That’s not a good thing.  

Oh shit, she comes to Shuyin the next day. What is she planning? She is greeted by one of the actors, who tells her they’ve been diligently training and improving upon the things she taught them.  Shit starter Shi Jiu does not seem to approve of this ass kissing, and I don’t blame her, especially since he throws his troupe leader under the bus or rickshaw. YOOOO, this maid is opening her mouth again? Shut her up.  She once again insults the performers saying their pitch is higher than her bird. SHUT YOUR MOUTH. I have it up to here with her arrogant ass. Shi Jiu is about to tongue lash this bish, but is stop her Rong Lan.  Er Nainai states that their boss can easily remove himself from an undesirable situation.  LOL, cannot blame him for you suddenly appearing and ordering him around his own house, sweetie. Not only that but you insulted him, looked down upon him, in his own house! Anyhoo, she adds that he left her a big mess that she had to take care of.  She had to set order in this house, give them some rules (gurl, they were fine without you).  

Best girl Xiao Lai brings her some tea while they sit in that same room where she insulted my baby.  Sigh, I really don’t want to talk about the maid, she leaves such a bitter taste in my mouth.  She is soiling Shuyin House with her presence.  She insults my Xiao Lai by looking down on the tea she has prepared for Er Nainai, saying they brought their own with such indignation, as if the tea was made with piss.  I don’t think I have ever hated a character for simply existing.  Good job on the actress for being so irritating. Wait, no, I have always hated the maids on C drama.  They are insufferable, act haughty af depending on their mistress status, and are the biggest bullies. Er Nainai is like, someone is missing.  The troupe responds that everyone is here and that little shit replies that no, people, Er Nainai is talking about the baby.  HOW THE FUCK WERE THEY SUPPOSED TO KNOW. Dasheng replies the baby is in the room away from your ugly face. No Rong Lan, don’t do it, let that little shit do some work instead of running her mouth! Rong Lan brings Fengyi to Er Nainai. Sigh, don’t that little shit get anywhere close to Rui Rui’s niece!  Well, at least Fengyi is softening Er Nainai who states the baby can catch a chill if not covered properly and tells her servants to take out the items she brought.  Lol, even Shi Jiu notices the change in behavior, claiming that Er Nainai went from Empress Dowager Cixi to a living Buddha. Rong Lan is like, well at least with Er Nainai growing closer to the little Goddess of Wealth, Er Ye would not have any problems bringing her home. Shi Jiu does not approve and agree with my shit starter. DAFUQ, is that little shit bossing the actors around. GTFO.  Who allowed her to speak. Fuck this.  Ugh, I don’t want to hear her voice anymore.  She tells her boss that she doesn’t understand why she cares so much for the baby since she has unknown origins. Seriously, GTFO.  Er Nainai replies the child should not be punish for the adults’ sins.  Wait, is that little shit still believe Er Ye is the father? Bish, go away, get out of my screen. I wished Fengyi would cry so hard to make her deaf. I hope Xiao Lai would disinfect the area when they leave.  Gotta get that stank ass out.

Okay, I am done bishing about that maid.  I seriously don’t know why the show had to aggrieve me with her presence.  Did I do something in my past life to suffer so much? Talking about suffering, why did you kill my Xiang Xiang, show??  I had expected a death similar to the ending of Farewell my Concubine, but I did not expect it would be him. However, in hindsight, his words spoken back in Nanjing revealed his mindset about life.  He had admonished Rui Rui for being solely focused on the opera with no outside distractions.  For him, his girlfriend offered the distraction he sought outside of the opera.  Without her, and without his ability to perform at 100 percent due to his injury, he was left to nothing.  The true coward in this depressing episode is Chen Renxiang’s girlfriend, who bowed to her family pressure and married a man she didn’t love.  Unlike Yu Qing who willingly left her family behind for an uncertain love, Chen Renxiang girlfriend gave up a willing love for her family.  The constant reminder of how people looked down upon performers acted like a shadow permeating this entire episode.  Even with the bookending scenes involving the maid, we see the indignation, the dislike towards the performers.  Despite their fame, they are look as trash, good enough to admire and even bed, but not good enough to truly respect.  It’s a constant theme we are shown throughout the show.  Even Rui Rui, who cares so much about the audience, can’t escape this reality.  Perhaps why we have that moment when Er Ye tells him he would walk through fire to stand by his side, because only Er Ye seems him as his equal, who respects him and only wants the best for him.  Hence the talk about capturing his skills and likeness on film.  Sigh, will Rui Rui give in and let him film him so the future generation can gain an appreciation for the art the same way he has?

[satan-the-avatar-of-wrath]

Alright, I'm going to say sorry in advance for this being long and possibly triggering. This again is Meowistic (or I sometimes called him my toasted marshmallow but that's not important). You said you wouldn't mind me telling you the story behind why I'm still mad at him for dying so here goes. I was living in a different state when I got him. I had to convince the other human I was living with at the time that the kitten would help me. I've lived with cats 97% of my life, there was a weird small percent between my first cat dying and convincing my ....sperm donor...that a cat was needed to make the house a home. Anyways back to story, After I got him, he and the other cat in the house didn't get along so we all agreed (we were paying off a house and there were four of us living there) that they should take turns. Meowistic hardly ever left my side and wasn't all that fond of the dog, Mana (if mun wants a picture of Mana I would love to give it but none of them are "good" pictures). Anyways so one day I tried doing something that wasn't my brightest idea so to speak. I tried overdosing on my antidepressants. Meowistic was at the bathroom door trying to get in and meowing at it. He wanted his momma to be okay. After that I saw him as a tiny guardian angel who got jealous since once I moved back in with my mom he also didn't get along with her cat. One night I was getting ready for bed around 7 or so and he was making a weird meowing sound. I knew something was off but hoped it could wait because I was dead tired and wasn't sure on the vet's hours. Well I woke up roughly at 9 to go potty and on the floor at the foot of my bed his body laid. As I was waking up my brain immediately went something is wrong, so I went downstairs to do my thing and I talked to my mom's boyfriend at the time saying I think my kitten (he was maybe 3? Either he just turned 3 or wasn't too much further into his third year of life) was dead. He came up to my room to check and he had blood coming from his mouth...I was so upset at the time, still am slightly but eh. We took him to the vet once we could, though we didn't have the money to find out why he died and at such a young age, so we got him buried. Maybe a week or so after I started looking at the local shelter kittens that a local shoe shop was keeping to try and help them get adopted faster. I fell in love with a few of them but once Umbri choose me, and being told she doesn't do things like cuddle or feel comfortable with humans I was like alright it's settled she's mine. My mom however was like no you need time to cope. Granted maybe but I didn't think so and waited only a few days before being like hey can we go get the kitten? I love Umbri, but she's got a couple bad habits of not listening to me, biting me when she's purring and I'm petting her, and biting my charging cords. I love her to death though, she knows when I'm upset and whatnot and is the first cat I've owned that likes laying on or beside me when I'm in bed. I've probably taken up enough of your time and wish you well. Thank you for taking the time to read this and I hope I wasn't too annoying or anything.

__________

Mun: I'm so sorry about your lose, I'm glad you have a new companion 💙 Animals are beautiful and tbh I dont think we truly deserve them, they give more to us then i think we give to them.

Satan: (currently really sad about your lose) Umbri is beautiful, take care of each other.

[your-kpopmama]

Single Mom!AU Part 1

Three weeks.

Three weeks since your last full night of sleep. At this point you had yourself convinced you were going to lose your mind. How did other single mothers do this? How did they not snap and run away? How did they handle motherhood? The bundle in your arms screamed relentlessly as you rocked her softly, singing to her hoping she would calm down soon.

Her dark brown eyes were screwed shut as her little hands waved about frantically, grasping at the air in a craze. She has been going at it for two hours. Her diaper was clean, she was fed, you cradled her, tried laying her down, tried playing with her...you’ve tried everything you could think of but nothing would calm her screams. You were at your wits end.

Being a new mom was tough enough, but being a new mom on your own was a whole other story. Never in your wildest dreams did you think the day would come when you had a child to care for and no one to help out. Her sperm donor had high tailed it when he found out you were pregnant after you two had unprotected sex for the first time in your three year relationship. Apparently that meant nothing to him.

Your parents basically disowned you having a child out of wedlock, something their old traditional values were so against. You had to return to work soon and you didn’t know what you were going to do. You couldn’t afford a nanny and you definitely couldn’t afford to not work. What little savings you had, all went towards your baby.

Your little Ji-ha.

She was so tiny. So innocent. So precious. She didn’t deserve a mother like you. A mother who had no idea what she was doing. A mother on her own. A mother who was silently suffering every day.

Hot tears began to pour down your cheeks, dropping silently onto her soft yellow blanket, patterned with ducks in blue bows. Her hands slowed down a moment as her innocent brown eyes opened, tears suddenly dry, as she looked at you in wonder. Her tiny fists unclenched and reached out for your hand that was settled across her chest from where you attempted to rub it in hopes it would calm her screaming. Her tiny hand wrapped around one of your fingers and her screams went silent.

That made your heart clench tighter and caused more fresh tears to pour from your eyes once again. The sight of your beautiful daughter, three weeks old, comforting you as you cried. It wasn’t long until you were both settled from the crying and both you and Jiah’s eyes drifted closed for the second time that night, sleeping together in the grey plush rocking chair in the corner of the nursery.

•>•>•>•>•>•

A shrill ring brought you back to consciousness around 8am, your silent curses to whoever was ringing this early while Ji-ah was still asleep. You gently laid her in her crib before scurrying out of the nursery towards your room on the opposite side of Ji-ah’s room. Not even bothering to glance at the caller ID you answered.

“Hello?” Your groggy voice sounded loud in the silent room.

“y/n?” Came the reply.

“Yes? Who is this?” Your phone etiquette missing for this conversation.

“Ah, sorry, it’s Taehyung. Kim Taehyung.”

Taehyung...? You hadn’t spoke to him in almost two and a half years. Not since you and Jongdae got together. Your then boyfriend made it very clear that under no circumstances were you to contact Taehyung again because he felt threatened by your relationship with your friend. Taehyung had tried for weeks to contact you but you never responded in fear of your boyfriend finding out. Maybe that should have been your first clue to the relationship you were in was toxic.

“Hello? Are you still there?” His deep voice came through the earpiece shocking you out of your thoughts.

“Eh, yeah. Is uh, ahem, is everything alright?” Your voice was slightly shaking now and you tried your best to calm your nerves.

“Huh? Oh yeah! Everything is ok. I just wanted to call and ask for a small favor?” He continued as if nothing bad went down between the both of you, “my apartment building is getting renovated and I need somewhere to stay for a bit.”

Your eyebrows shot up, “Don’t you have any friends to stay with?” You asked.

“Yeah! That’s why I’m calling you! You’re my only friend around here.” You could hear the smile in his tone and your heart sunk into your stomach.

That was another thing you felt awful for. You drug Taehyung to Seoul from Daegu after high school. Neither of you wanted to leave the other and you wanted to live in the big city, so he complied with your wishes and left everyone and everything behind. For four years you two were everything to one another, only having a handful of friends between the both of you but not really hanging out with them. Jongdae had met you through Taehyung at a work office party. The three of you were pretty close together until the two of you started dating. Jongdae moved higher up at the office and in your life as Taehyung eventually faded from both. You weren’t sure where he’s been working the past year and a half but you heard from some people at the office that he was doing extremely well for himself.

“I-I’m sorry Taehyung. I have a lot on my plate right now and being here wouldn’t exactly be easy for you..” you started before he cut in.

“Are you still with Jongdae? Is this about him? I promise I’ll keep to myself. I work a lot anyhow.” He hurried his explanation.

“No we aren’t together, we haven't been for 9 months..that’s not the point. The point is that I just don’t think it will be a good fit for you here.”

“Y/N please. I have nowhere else to go. My work is here and I can’t go back home because of it. I know things got really weird for a while and I’m not mad about it or upset, I just really need somewhere to stay. Please.”  Your heart clenched at his words. How could you refuse him after all you’ve dragged him through?

"Taehyung..." you started again to be cut off - again.

"I can pay if me being there makes your bills higher. I will compensate you for it. You don't even have to feed me. I can buy my own food. It will be like I'm not even there. Are you still working at the floral shop? I can drop by this afternoon and maybe talking face to face would be better?" his voice was pleading and you didn't want to tell him no, but you also couldn't say yes. What were you to do?

You stayed silent a moment longer before sucking in a deep breath and steeling your nerves, "That's fine. Just, uh, I'm on a sort of vacation right now so you can just stop by the apartment. I moved by the way..I will text you my new address." the end of your sentence ending up as a mumble.

"Thank you! Thank you! You are such a life saver! I have some free time right now so I will head over!" excited was an understatement for how he sounded and a part of you felt good, but you weren't sure how he would react to how things have turned out.

After a quick goodbye, you sent him your current address and quickly went to go take a shower after a promise to be there in 45 minutes from Taehyung. The hot shower did nothing to help calm your nerves. You haven't seen his face in so long. Memories of a boxy smile, golden brown hair, and loving tight hugs flow through your mind.  Taehyung had been your rock through everything. Countless boyfriends, countless late night breakdowns. Don't even get you started on how many times he picked your sorry ass up from a bar after a night out drinking alone. At one point you were in love with the boy, head over heels. You buried your feelings in other men who came to realize the fact that it was Taehyung you wanted and not them.

Why you never told him of your feelings, you will never know. Maybe a deep soul search is something you needed. Before you reazlied it, the water was running cold in the shower, indicating you had been in there way too long. You quickly went through your routine of drying your hair and putting it up into a pony tail and pulling on a pair of black gym shorts and an old loose fitting shirt. You still weren't feeling your best after having Ji-ah. During your 24 hour labor, she decided to breech and an emergency c-section went into play. Your stomach tendons were extremely tender still but at least you were able to get up and move around with minimal to no pain. It had been the scariest moment of your life, but definitely well worth it.

You peeked your head into the nursery, your little pink bundle was still soundly sleeping, shutting the door softly when you heard a knock on the front door. You tiptoed as quietly from her room as possible, hoping Taehyung wouldn't knock again before you could get to it just in case it woke up the sleeping baby. With a shaking hand you reached out and unlocked the deadbolt before twisting the handle and pulling open the heavy metal door. You weren't prepared for what awaited you behind that door, the breath being knocked out from your lungs.

Taehyung had definitely gotten taller, and his complextion darker than you last remember it to be. His hair was now a golden blonde, pushed up from his head by a bandana. His body was more lean and muscular, made even more obvious by the tight jeans and nice dress shirt he wore. The smile on his face was still the same though, that same smile you had fallen in love with so many years ago.

"Y/N! Wow! Look at you! You look all grown up! I like your hair!" he said reaching out to touch the strands hanging from your hair tie, leaving you statue still as he examined the new light brown color you had dyed it before Ji-ah made her appearance. It was still something you were getting used to as your hair had always been black.

"T-thanks." you stumbled over your words, moving back slowly to allow him entrance into your apartment. His smile never wavered as he stepped through the threshold, examining the apartment with as much interest as he showed in your hair. You let him wander around the apartment for a few minutes while you leaned your back against the wall the lead down the hallway, watching him silently.

Several minutes passed and once he was satisfied with whatever it was he was looking for, he turned to you suddenly, causing you to jump slightly. He let out a low whistle and perched on the arm of the couch, his hands between his thighs as he looked at you.

"How have you been?" he asked gently.

Your head tilted to the side slightly as you pondered his question. "I've been...okay." you said carefully. He just nodded slightly and kept his eyes on your face. "How about you?" you offered.

"I've been great, actually." his tone genuine causing a small smile to appear on your own lips. You were happy or him, truly happy. You wanted nothing but the best for him and god knows he deserved it after everything.

The silence filled the room with a thick atmosphere until Taehyung gently clapped his hands together. "So, have you thought about my proposal?" he asked. You knew it was going to get brought up, it was the whole reason you invited him over. You already knew you were going to say yes, HE knew you were going to say yes, but you liked the formality of him still asking permission and not just assuming.

"There's some things we need to discuss before I say yes." you said slowly.

"Like rent? I can pay for my stay, like I said on the phone." he started.

"No, it's not that it - " your sentence was cut off by a piercing scream coming down the hallway causing Taehyung to jump up from the couch looking startled. You pushed off the wall and walked down the hallway to the nursery, pushing open the door gently you shuffled across the white carpet to the crib.

"Shhh, shhh little one." you cooed as you bent down over the crib, wincing slightly at the muscles in your stomach tightening. "There we are.." you whispered as you held her close to your chest. Her screams quieted and her eyes looked up at you as her little cheeks pulled up into a soft gummy smile. You wrapped her blanket around her and turned to head out the door to return to Taehyung, but he was already there, confusion written all over his face.

"Are you babysitting?" he asked.

"Uh, no. This is uh, this is Ji-ah. She's mine." you stammered. Realization dawned across his face as his mouth hung slightly open, eyes wide. You started to feel uncomfortable and your stomach was whining in protest from standing for so long. Without a word you slipped past Taehyung slowly and headed into the kitchen to drop a premade bottle into the bottle warmer. You could hear Taehyung's steps close behind you so you turned to him with a small smile. "Jongdae left after he found out I was pregnant." was all you offered in explanation.

Taehyung's eyes seemed to narrow just a fraction and his whole demeanor changed slightly, "He left you?" words tense.

You just nodded softly and grabbed the bottle from the warmer after it beeped, alerting you to it. You dribbled a couple of drops on your arm to ensure that it wasn't too hot before allowing Ji-ah to eat her breakfast. "It's okay, I mean I'm okay." you said smiling as you slid onto a kitchen chair.

Taehyung followed suit and pulled his chair right in front of you, his elbows on his knees as he watched your face, looking for any indication that you were lying. You just raised your eyesbrows and questioned him, "Is there something on my face?" you joked, earning a small smile from him.

"What's her name?" he asked peering at the baby in your arms.

"Ji-ah." Taehyung seemed satisfied with that and nodded his head.

"Was this the thing we had to discuss before you said yes?" he pressed on.

You nodded for what felt like the 50th time today already, "Yes. Taehyung, I don't mind if you stay, I really don't...but Ji-ah is a really fussy baby. I don't know what you do for work but I'm sure it requires a lot of rest in between. My life is kind of hectic right now and I don't want you to suffer anymore because of me."

He was quiet for a few minutes, just silently watching Ji-ah eat, his fingers locking together in thought. Neither one of you spoke, the only sounds filling the room was the little grunting noises your daughter made as she hungrily sucked her bottle dry, causing her to start fussing once again.

Sitting her up, you held her as you patted her back gently, coaxing out that burp you knew was causing the fussing. Once you achieved what you wanted, her fussing turned into screaming, causing you to wince slightly as you stood up and walked around with her, trying to soothe her. Long fingers slowly grabbed your shoulder and turned you gently around, Taehyung looking at you with a weird look as he held his hands out slowly.

"Mind if I try?" he asked.

"I don't mind..but I don't know if she will calm down. No one else has held her.  I don't know how she's going to deal with a stranger." you warned.

Not speaking, Taehyung wrapped his hands around her, gently cradling her head as he held her to his chest, whispering gently in her ear, soothing the screams that were coming from her tiny body until she was silent once again. Her little bald head was resting against his shoulder as he cooed to her and played with her hand. The sight caused your heart to clench.

"Are you alright? Why are you crying?" Taehyung asked softly.

"Huh?" you asked dumbly, wiping at the tears in your eyes. You had never imagined in a million years that this scene before you would play out. You had thought Taehyung had moved on and had someone to call his own, possibly a family already in the works. You never imagined Taehyung standing in your living room holding your baby girl, calming her relentless screaming and asking if you were okay because you couldn't control your emotions. You had never imagined how much you had missed him. "I'm okay." you croaked out, averting his gaze.

Taehyung stared at you for a moment longer before nodding and allowing you to give him a short answer before he sat down on the dark blue recliner that was in the living room, still holding gingerly onto Ji-ah. He seemed to be at ease and unbothered, so you allowed yourself to relax into the soft cushions of the matching blue couch.

"Are you hurt?" he asked after a few minutes. "You keep flinching everytime you have to bend." his eyes never missed anything.

"Complications during birth. I had to have a c-section. I guess I'm still a little more tender than I thought." you said with a small smile. "I'm okay though. The doctor said another week and most of the pain should subside, though I still can't lift anything heavier than Ji-ah so I don't cause too much distress to my muscles."

You leaned your head back against the couch, you could feel your eyes drifting slowly. This was the most peaceful moment you've had in the three weeks since Ji-ah was born and you didn't realize how exhausted your body was until this moment. Allowing your eyes to close for a minute, you soaked in the silence of the room, urging your body to relax and release the tension it's been holding for so long.

You don't know how long you slept, all you know is it was the best sleep you have had in over nine months. When you finally opened your eyes, the afternoon sun was high and shining brightly through your open balcony doors, the breeze blowing the sheer white ccurtains that you had hung just a week ago. The air was cool and refreshing as it grazed across your face, bringing a smile to your lips as your stretched as much as your body would allow you to. All too quickly though, you suddenly remembered you had a child and she wasn't within your sight.

With haste you jumped from the couch and ran to her nursery, the room was dark and she was nowhere in sight. A panic set into your chest as you set into a sprint through the hallway to your living room and ran quickly to the open balcony doors, revealing Taehyung sitting on a blanket, with Ji-ah resting gently against his stomach as he read from a book. The panic began to die down as your leaned slowly against the door frame, crossing your arms watching them.

"...Little pigs, little pigs! LET ME IN!" he said in a voice deeper than his normal one, "Not by the hairs on our chinny chin chins!" his voice raising a few octaves, causing a small giggle from Ji-ah. "Then I'll HUFF and I'll PUFF and I'll BLOW YOUR HOUSE INNNNNNNN!" he finished, pretending to blow down an imaginary house, his face turning a slight red shade, causing a laugh to burst from your mouth. Taehyung jumped slightly and whipped his head back to look at you before a big grin covered his face.

"Hey, sleepy head. You feel better?" he asked turning towards you and placing Ji-ah over his shoulder before standing up and walking to you.

You nodded, "Mm. I feel a lot better actually. I'm sorry I fell asleep and left you stuck with my baby." you scratched the back of your head, cheeks heating up with embarassment.

"It was my pleasure. We were just getting to know each other, huh?" he asked your smiling baby.

"So, about the living arrangements. I don't mind if you stay, Taehyung. I would actually enjoy the company." you confessed, looking him in his big brown eyes, a smile exploding across his features again.

"Thank you! Y/N you are honestly saving me right now. Thank you so much, I promise it'll be like I'm not even here. I'll clean up after myself and cook for myself, you don't have to do anything for me." he rushed.

"I can cook, it's not a problem. I cook for myself anyway, there's no sense in cooking two seperate dinners. We can just take turns washing dishes and of course, you can do your own laundry, other than that I have everything covered."

Taehyung nodded eagerly, opening his mouth to say something but was cut off due to his phone ringing in his pocket. He gently handed Ji-ah back to you before pulling the sleek black phone from his pocket and answering quickly. You headed back into your apartment, giving him privacy as you sat your tiny bundle into her bouncer seat while you picked up around the living room and went to prepare her a bottle.

"Hey, I have to head into my office. Is it alright if I bring my things by tonight after I get off? Renovations start in a couple days." Taehyung suddenly spoke from behind you, pulling the bandana from his head and ruffling his hair to make it look presentable.

"Ah, yeah that's okay! Let me give you a spare key just in case I'm not here. I have a couple errands to run later and I'm not sure what time I'll be back." you offered as you dug around your kitchen drawer for the spare key you kept. Finally grabbing it you handed it over to Taehyung, who gave his thanks and quickly left with a short wave goodbye before closing the door behind him.

•>•>•>•>•>••>•>•>•>•>•

"When do you go back to work?" Taehyung asked around a mouthful of rice. It was a Thursday night, and it's been about two weeks since Taehyung had moved in. Things were going really great actually. When he wasn't at work, he was typically placed on the couch with his laptop on the coffee table, glasses perched on his nose while his fingers moved gracefully across his keyboard. Though if he wasn't working, he had Ji-ah in his lap playing with her and letting you do what you needed to do with little to no interuptions. You honestly couldn't be more thankful towards him than you were at this point, even if you felt like you didn't deserve it.

"I'm supposed to go back on Monday..." you trailed off, pushing your carrots around your plate and avoiding his gaze. You still weren't sure how you were going to get back to work with Ji-ah. You didn't make enough for daycare and you had no one around to watch her. You had spent hours searching online for anyone who would watch her for relatively cheap prices, but no one wanted to watch a newborn for cheap - even if all she did through the day was sleep.

"Supposed? Are you thinking of not going back?" He questioned, taking a sip of his water. His attention was on Ji-ah, who was cooing at him from her bouncer seat on the table so she could keep you both in her sights at all times.

"I don't have anyone to watch Ji-ah." you confessed through a defeated sigh.

"Just take her to the daycare at the office. I work there so I get the daycare for free." Taehyung said as if it were the most simple explanation in the world. "Though, I would have to tell them it's my kid." he finished.

You choked on your water for a second, causing Taehyung to jump up from his chair to come over and pat you on the back. "Are you okay?" concern laced through his deep voice. You managed to nod while you cleared your throat, and taking a deep breath.

"Sorry." you said sheepishly. "I don't want to put you in a difficult position, Taehyung. I couldn't ask you to do that." you explained.

"You're letting me stay here for free and I want to do it. It wouldn't complicate anything anyway. Just let me do this for you. Please?" his brown eyes bore into yours, pleading. He stuck his bottom lip out in a cute little pout that made you laugh at him and agree.

As bad as you felt about taking advantage of Taehyung and his job, you were extremely thankful for his offer. Letting Taehyung stay here was a blessing in disguise. You guys got over all your bad past after you sat him down one night after one too many glasses of wine, and explained to him everything about why you cut off contact. He had admitted that Jongdae asked Taehyung to stay away from you, because he had a feeling there as something else hiding underneath your smiles and teasing jokes towards your best friend. Jongdae did what the other boys didn't dare do, send Taehyung along on his merry way.

To be frank you weren't all that surprised that Jongdae did that. Taehyung admitted that's why he quit calling after two weeks. Jongdae cornered him at work and threatened his job if he didn't stop. Taehyung didn't know what to do so he just complied, and eventually left the company all together and started at a new job the following week. A job where he is a project manager and a hell of a lot better off than Jongdae was now, a respected position in his building.

After dinner Taehyung helped you clean up and and the three of you spent the rest of the night on the living room floor playing and reading stories. It was something you had always imagined having a family would be like, something you had always wanted. Thinking back on it though, you could have never imagined this kind of thing with Jongdae. He was always more worried about himself and his appearance. He liked material things and liked being able to go where he wanted without anything holding him down. One thing he did a lot was travel - and not even for work - it was for pleasure, and you were always left home. It never bothered you, because you hated to travel, but the fact that he spent half of your relationship in other countries for his own pleasure, left a bad taste in your mouth.

You never thought about all the fucked up things he did while you were together, but now you were thankful he high tailed it when he found out you were pregnant. It gave you the confidence you needed in yourself to be able to do things on your own. It also brought Taehyung back into your life, something you never knew you needed until it happened. You silently thanked Jongdae for being a self centered dick.

Around 9, you and Taehyung cleaned up the living room together and you brought out extra pillows and blankets for him to use like you do every night. He held Ji-ah while you made up the couch for him. You walked to him and took Ji-ah gently, for he had rocked her to sleep already while you fixed his bed. "Thanks." you whispered, giving him a smile before turning and walking your baby back to her room to lay her down for the night. After one more walkthrough the apartment, making sure everything was unplugged, turned off, and locked up, you went to bed after telling Taehyung goodnight you finally went to bed.

Roughly around three in the morning, you were woken up by screaming in the baby monitor beside your bed. It wasn't odd considering Ji-ah hardly slept through the night, but what was odd, was the fact that you heard someone speaking softly to her. Your heart seized in your chest, straining to listen to who was talking, thinking there was a kidnapper in your childs room, until you recognized the voice - Taehyung.

"shhh, baby girl. You gotta let your mommy sleep." you heard him say. "She's so tired. She takes such good care of you, let's take good care of her, hm?"

You felt your eyes start to sting and soon you were crying. Hand over your mouth to stifle the sobs that were threatening to burst forth, you listened as he sang your baby to sleep. You waited until it was silent and you heard the click of the door closing before you stood up and walked to the hallway. You could see his back retreating down the hall and you rushed forward, grabbing the back of his shirt to stop him.

"Tae..." you choked out.

He stopped and turned towards you, shock on his face, "Y/n? Are you okay? Did I wake you up?" he asked, his voice concerned.

"No..I..." you didn't even know what to say. So you did the only thing you could think of - you hugged him. He seemed shocked at the sudden show of affection but suddenly his arms were around your body, holding you close and tight. You weren't sure how long you stayed hugging in the middle of the hallway, but you didn't care. It had been so long since you and Taehyung had any sort of physical contact, and you craved it. You missed his hugs and you missed the way he used to hang all over you.

"I hope I didn't overstep boundaries by putting Ji-ah back to sleep.." he murmured against your head.

"No." you replied. You weren't sure if you should mention about hearing what he said to her or not, but you just decided to leave it. "You should probably get back to sleep. You have to be up in a couple hours." you said instead.

"Okay. I'll see you in the morning." he said gently before kissing the top of your head, leaving you stock still in the hallway. He didn't look back or anything, just walked out of your line of sight. Your cheeks were flushed, you could feel the heat in them, a grin slowly spreading on your face.

That was something you could get used to.

[crazycrackersworld]

So tonight I am trying to get over a rough day rough couple of days actually I guess. And again my daughter telling me that she's proud of me was the highlight of my day and it made me get through it a little bit better.

Nickelback but as I said here in my room in the dark getting ready to go to sleep cuz I have a early start tomorrow I got to thinking. Thinking about well thinking about all the times that that she said that I went above and beyond or I did things that you know other boyfriends or husbands or whatever never did. Or when she even says that you know a friend of hers that's married you know tells her that even her husband doesn't do some of the things that I did, and and they just they point out that you know I did all these special things. And it always bothers me because I don't think anything I did was special, and here's why

I never knew my actual birth dad, or is my mom refers to him the sperm donor. When my mom told that classy gentleman that she was pregnant he had the mistake of asking if it was his which was not a good idea considering he was in a party at my mom's with her five brothers just not a smart thing. And the second thing he did was just walked away, he's never been a part of my life he's never been around I've never seen him I have no idea what he looks like he just split.

But my mom had five brothers and they all did a little bit in raising me and teaching me things and doing stuff that a dad would do I guess. But the person who did the most was my grandfather, richard, he was my dad pretty much until we moved to Mayville he was my dad.

The number of things that I learned from him I cannot even count the one thing that always stuck with me and I never even realized that I got it from him until my mom pointed it out was how to treat your woman your significant other. Because as a small child I saw my grandfather treat my grandmother just amazingly and I think that just left an imprint on me that I have carried with me through my life.

When my grandmother was sick my grandfather took care of her and he did a good job. My grandma like myself and my mom and some important people to me suffered from migraines crippling migraines. I can remember her laying in her bed in her room with the drapes pulled tight and a cold washcloth folded up over her eyes and she would lay there for hours because she could not move she couldn't hear sounds light would just paralyze her she literally couldn't do anything. And at this time my grandma watched me during the day while my mom was at work and so I knew when she had a migraine to you know stay in the living room and play with my toys and not bother her. But on days where my grandfather either didn't work or came home for lunch he would check on my grandma and he would give her a new cold washcloth and he would get her her aspirin or whatever she took and make sure she had a glass of water and then he would also make sure that I had lunch and I was taken care of because she was incapacitated. And he did that no matter what I mean if it was a migraine if she had a cold you know if she hurt herself he he took care of her and when she wasn't sick or you know laid up with a headache he you know might not have taken care of her per se but he always treated her with dignity and respect and if I would have never seen or heard my grandfather tell my grandma that he loved her I would have known, you would have known even if you didn't know these two people you would have known that he loved her, just by the way he treated her.

And I really think that's an important thing I think if you're going to tell a woman that you love her that's fine you should also show her that you love her, but I also think it's important that if you and her are at the mall or a bar swap me six flags Great America it doesn't matter where you are or what you're doing a total stranger can look at you and the woman you love and they will know that you love her. They will know that you love her without hearing you say it because they will see how you treat her and they will just know that a man who treats a woman in that such a way loves her and I learned that from my grandfather.

I mean I've taken some cues from you know a few movies that I grew up with and stuff Say Anything, is one that really stands out I learned a lot how to be a good boyfriend from watching that movie. Untamed Heart, is another one and I took some things from that as well. But other than those two and maybe a few other movies the main the main example that I had on how to treat a woman that you love was by watching my grandfather and how he treated my grandma.

I am telling you right now I am not making this up I am not elaborating in any way shape or form, if you a total stranger had seen my grandparents grocery shopping or just walking down the street you would have known without a shadow of a doubt that he loved her that she was his world that she meant everything to him. And I don't know if it makes me old-fashioned or a hopeless romantic or what but you know I think if you look at a man and a woman and you can't tell by his body language or the way he looks at her or the way he treats her if you can't tell he loves her by those things if he has to tell you he loves her or you have to hear him tell her and it's not real love not even close. And it goes the same way the other direction you know if you have to hear a woman tell her man she loves him or if she has to tell you that she loves him if you can't tell just by watching her when she's with him or even just watching her when she talks about him it's not love

And I learned that from my grandfather, I learned how to treat the woman I love, in fact I probably learned how how to love a woman in the first place from him. And I thank him so often for showing me that, because frankly there aren't a lot of males in the world to do that stuff anymore and it's a shame.

So when people want to know why I treated her that well or why I treated any girlfriend the way that I did my answer is is because I learned it from the best man that I ever knew or will ever know in my lifetime, I learned it from my grandfather. And I love and miss him everyday. And was everything that's going on in my life now and especially as it relates maybe to a certain somebody there isn't anything I wouldn't give or any price I wouldn't pay to have him back for an hour and to talk to him and to get his advice and maybe for him to just one more time tell me what to do, and show me how to be a good man I would give anything for that.

[mxn-yoongi]

Best Friend Duty (Yoongi x Reader)

This is for my anon that requested Random Lines Post #8 with Yoongi! I hope you like it. 

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Fluff (kinda), Comedy(ish)

Word Count: 5,355

Summary: Baby Fever, Best friends, and Beautiful Beginnings. 

“Mom, I know. I know. I’m telling you women do this all the time. Not all of us can have a magical love story like you and dad. I’m twenty-four with a stable career, plenty of savings, no debt and a nice house. What else am I waiting for?” You shift around on the couch to get into a more comfortable position while switching TV channels in hopes of finding something good to watch.

“Maybe an actual man to impregnate you the way it’s supposed to happen. Not some random sperm out of a cup. I don’t want my grandchild not knowing their father or even having one around.” You can almost feel your mom rolling her eyes through the phone at your seemingly outrageous idea. You’ve always loved children and they seemed to like you back but you haven’t been able to find Mr. Right and you were ready to settle down. That’s what led you to the conclusion that you would go to a doctor for artificial insemination. It’s not like you were the first woman in the world to want a child but was unable to find a decent man.

“It’s not completely random...they give me some information on the donor just not his identity. Yoongi can be a father figure if that’s what you’re worried about.” Min Yoongi, your best friend since birth. Your parents had been friends for years before the two of you were even in the picture. You were born a mere four days after him and since your first meeting at only one week old the two of you have been practically inseparable. You lived next door to each other your whole lives meaning you went to the same elementary, middle and high school. As children the two of you rarely slept apart. You two were either sleeping at your house or at Yoongi’s house but never without the other. That stopped when you entered high school for obvious reasons but even then you were always together.

“I know you’re ready to start a family but I don’t want you to have to do it like...this. It was hard enough for your father and I together. I just can’t imagine you doing it alone.” You knew you wouldn’t be doing it alone but your mom was a worry wart. After high school somehow you and Yoongi had ended up at the same college even if you hadn’t revealed to each other where you were accepted. Your parents had agreed to pay for an apartment for the two of you so long as you guys continued your studies. Yoongi studied to be an architect while you opted for interior design. After the two of you graduated and found stable jobs things were perfect really. You had settled into a comfortable routine.

“You know I won’t be doing it alone mom. Did you forget about Yoongi? I literally just talked about him. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind keeping an eye on my mini me. He lives here so he has no choice really.” In Yoongi’s first six months of being hired at the company he currently works at he was put in charge of planning and designing a new building for the university the two of you attended. With the money he made from that project and the money you had saved up from the few jobs you had been specifically hired for the two of you purchased a home together and that’s where the two of you are today.

“Oh! Oh! Oh! I have the best idea ever. You have to hear me out though. Okay, here I go. You plus Yoongi equals one baby. You see it would be perfect since we’ve known the Min’s since before you were even born, you’ve lived together your whole lives basically. Didn’t you once tell me he was your first kiss? It’s like a match made in heaven. You even live together isn’t that convenient! Why don’t you go ahead and ask him to help you out.” It was true, Yoongi gave you your first kiss on New Year’s Eve the year the two of you turned sixteen. He did bite your lip so hard it started bleeding but you guys agreed to forget that. Yoongi was actually your first everything, I guess it comes with hanging out with each other so much. On your eighteenth birthday you had taken each other’s virginity which was a big wreck from the start. It was bad considering not only did you buy condoms that were too small but you also put it on inside out and then Yoongi was so uncomfortable you guys didn’t really get anywhere until you bought a larger size and read the directions on the box.

“Mom what the hell!?! What am I supposed to say, ‘Will you knock me up  because I can’t find a decent man?’’ It’s not like that’ll catch him off guard or anything. He’ll send me to some kind of psych ward!” After not being able to find anything to watch on TV you resort to going on your laptop to do a little more research on the clinic you have decide to go through with the procedure in.

“Just ask him. Maybe you’ll be pleasantly surprised. Besides, I know Mrs. Min has been hassling Yoongi about giving her grandchildren. I was in her restaurant the other day and she was telling me about how she thought that ex girlfriend of his was going to be the one and how she was so ready for him to settle down.” You shake your head even though your mom can’t see you.

“Whatever you say mom. I should go make dinner before Yoongi gets home. I love you. Tell dad I love him too.”

“You’re living such a domestic life already. Marry him!” You hang up the phone just in time to hear your mom practically screaming through the phone.  

“Are you crazy? Should we get you checked out at the doctor? Did I even hear you right?” Yoongi had nearly choked on the water he was drinking but you pat his back to make sure he doesn’t die on you.

“Believe me this was not my idea but the more I think about it the better it sounds. All I really need from you is a cup of sperm! How hard could getting that even be? Don’t you wake up with a boner every day anyway? Might as well use it for a good cause.” Yoongi looks at you in disbelief as you shove a forkful of spaghetti into your mouth as if you weren’t even having this awkward conversation.

“Oh god you really did say what I thought you said. You want me to give you a cup of my sperm so you can have a baby. Y/N are you being serious right now? No. Absolutely not. Nope. Not doing that.” The sound of his utensils clattering on the empty plate in front of him diverts your attention from your meal to his face.

“Yoongi! As my best friend it’s your duty to keep me happy. I won’t be happy unless I have a baby so just knock me up already!” Reaching over to him with your napkin in hand you wipe a bit of sauce from the corner of his mouth. He mumbles a quiet ‘Thank you’ before crossing his arms over his chest.

“I’m pretty sure that’s not how the whole best friend thing goes Y/N. I can’t just hand over a cup of my sperm like that. “ You smirk and tilt your head to the side before speaking up again.

“We can make a deal! You give me a cup of sperm and I’ll buy you lamb skewers whenever you want for a whole year.” Bingo. The instant he changes his mind you can see it on his face and you know you’ve won.

“Deal. When do you need the cup? I can get it to you in twenty minutes if you get me lamb skewers right now.” You honestly can’t believe all it took for him to agree was food. I guess the way to a man’s heart really is through his stomach. Or in this case the way to get your best friend to give you a cup of his sperm.

“Okay, slow down. It’s not that easy. I have to make a doctor's appointment to get some tests done, there’s this whole cycle and the actual insemination can only happen when I’m ovulating to make sure there’s a better chance of me actually getting pregnant. I won’t actually need your sperm until the day of. “ Yoongi lets out a groan which causes you to raise an eyebrow.

“Sounds like a pain. How much is this gonna cost you anyway?”

“Depends on how many times they have to do the procedure in case I don’t get pregnant the first time around, or the second, or third, or fourth. I’ll estimate around $2000 or more if things go well the first time.”

“$2000? Are you seriously going to pay $2000 for some doctor to turkey baste my kid into you? I could do that myself in 5 minutes.”

“I’m not really surprised at the fact that you can only last 5 minutes. That’ll come in handy later when I’m actually ovulating. The faster you can get in and out the more opportunities we’ll have at going at it. Thanks for being a good sport about this. You’re gonna save me so much money. Goodnight!” You begin getting up to get ready for bed but the words leaving Yoongi’s mouth stop you.

“Wait wait wait, I  wasn’t being serious about the whole doing it myself thing.” You cross your arms and give him a ‘really’ face before rolling your eyes.

“You’re going to make me pay $2000 for something that we could get done in like 5 minutes? I thought you were my best friend. It’s not like this would be the first time. We just don’t have to worry about the condom this time. Easy peasy lemon squeezy.”

“You are going to be the death of me Y/N. I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

“You’re only doing it for the lamb skewers.”

“True. Goodnight.” You and Yoongi turn in for the night after everything is settled.

2 weeks later - Yoongi’s workplace

Yoongi is sitting at his desk surrounded by his colleagues as they discuss a new architectural plan he was put in charge of. His laptop flashes to life beside him as you video call him through skype.

“Sorry, I should probably answer. She wouldn’t Skype me unless it was an emergency.” Yoongi accepts the call and as soon as your face pops up he’s ready to greet you only to be interrupted.

“You didn’t answer your phone. I’m ovulating. Come home.” You end the call before he can even say hello or goodbye. Now he’s left with a blush spread across his cheeks as his co workers laugh behind him.

“I didn't know you were married Mr. Min.” One of his colleagues speaks up causing Yoongi to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from snapping.

“Yeah well now you know. Anyway...I have to go now.” Yoongi shuts his laptop and collects his things in a hurry. He’s already so embarassed he doesn't think he can even face his co workers.

By the time he gets home you're waiting by the door ready to pounce on him.

“You're here! LET'S DO THIS.” You immediately reach out and begin loosening his tie but Yoongi’s hands stop yours before you can get it off.

“Woah Woah Woah. I'm mad at you right now! My coworkers think I'm suddenly married and you embarrassed me in front of them! They probably think we’re going at it like bunnies.” You nod while he speaks and pretend to listen while your hands slowly pull his tie undone as he goes on.

“Are you even listening to me?” You nod your head slowly and proceed to pull his blazer off of his shoulders and toss it with the undone tie now discarded on the floor.  

“Oh yeah of course I am. Bunnies...are married. Time to make me a baby!” Yoongi scratches at the back of his neck awkwardly. The last time the two of you had done this you were nineteen and wasted. Now you were adults and you were having sex with a purpose. He wasn’t even sure he was ready for this but it was too late to back out now.

“You’re hopeless. Baby Fever is real and you have a severe case. Are we just going to have sex and then wait and see or...”

“I was thinking we could do it like three times today to maximize my chances. Then day 2 we can go again for an even higher chance.”

“Sounds like a pla-....wait three times? Day 2?” It’s too late for him to protest now though because you’re already dragging him into your bedroom for the fun to begin.

Three hours later Yoongi is rolling out of your bed utterly exhausted. Both of you are covered in a sheen of sweat but you refuse to get up or move around in general.

“I’m gonna go get some water. Do you want some?” You nod your head and Yoongi walks out of your room to the kitchen. When he returns the glass in his hand is only half full as he tries handing it to you.

“Are you not going to get up? Get dressed? Shower?”

“Are you crazy? If I get up now everything is going to leak out of me and then I won’t get pregnant. Plus a shower! Yoongi are you trying to sabotage me right now?” You toss a small pillow at him from your bed.

“Sorry Sorry. I’m going now. My job here is done.” Yoongi collects his clothes from the ground and takes his leave.

“I’ll get you lamb skewers tomorrow! I promise!”

3 week time skip brought to you by my laziness

You walk into your home with your arms full of groceries. Literally full. There was no way you were going to make two trips just for some groceries your mom didn’t raise a quitter that needs to take two trips. Yoongi is sitting on the couch with what you assume is his date for the night. He had texted you earlier seeing if you could come home a bit later so that he and his date could relax. He said she would be out by 9 PM and it was currently 9:30. When Yoongi looks over at you after you fail to shut the door quietly he immediately rushes over to help you completely forgetting about his date.

“Y/N! You shouldn’t be carrying all these groceries by yourself. This can’t be good for baby Min. You should have called me out.” He takes the groceries out of your hands and takes them to the kitchen. You’re left standing there awkwardly while his date looks you over in a judging manner. After three weeks and a missed period you had finally gone to the doctor to confirm what you hoped was true. You were in fact pregnant and when you had told Yoongi he had attributed your success to his ‘insanely fast and healthy swimmers’.  When Yoongi returns she finally speaks.

“Baby Min? Are you kidding me right now? I can’t believe you would ask me out when you already have a woman and baby at home.”  

“Oh no no no this is a big misunderstanding. Yoongi and I aren’t a thing. He’s really just the sperm donor for my baby except he or she was conceived the normal way to save some money and yeah it’s not that complicated. He’s my best friend and the dad but we’re not like a thing. You know?” The look on her face as you explain the situation is priceless. Nonetheless your explanation does nothing to calm her down and she collects her things before storming out of your home.

“Geez what was her problem? Sorry for ruining your date she seemed...nice. I came home after 9 like you asked me to.” Yoongi doesn’t bother following her out instead he shrugs and goes back to the couch to finish watching the movie he was watching. You follow behind him and sit on the loveseat across from the couch.

“I think she was trying to get me to ask her to spend the night but I’m not a big fan of all that cuddly stuff you know. My arm gets numb after having someone lay on it too long not to mention having hair in my face is not ideal.” You sprawl your body out on the loveseat but it  isn’t big enough for you so you end up rolling completely off of it onto the ground while you laugh.

“Y/N! You’re being so reckless right now. Did you forget that you’re pregnant now? Taking care of not only yourself but also my-...your kid.” You get up off the ground and roll your eyes.  “Yoongi, the kid is smaller than a poppy seed very protected by my uterus and several other layers of my body. I have more of a chance of hurting myself than I do hurting the baby. Calm down.” You sit down on the couch next to Yoongi and lay your head on his shoulder.

“I can’t wait to be a mom.” You say before drifting off to sleep against Yoongi’s side.

Pregnancy: Month 4

“At my last appointment the guy at the front desk was so beautiful I almost cried.”  Your mom laughs on the other end of the line as you walk down the street in the summer heat.

“I’m sure his beauty was what almost made you cry and not any particularly drastic hormonal changes that come along with pregnancy.” You were on month 4 of your pregnancy and your bump was becoming more prominent. Your jeans were becoming tighter so you had stuck with sundresses on days you were off. When you were working you opted for fancier dresses and blazers. Today though you wore your loosest jeans and a t-shirt so it would be easier to get your ultrasound done.

“He was REALLY good looking. Anyway, I have to let you go now. I’m outside my doctor’s office. Today I find out the gender of my mini me. I’ll keep you updated mom! Love you.” You hang up the phone before walking into the building through the automatic doors. You check in at the front desk and sit in the waiting room for what seems like hours before they finally call you in for the ultrasound.

“Alright Mrs. Min, what brings you in today?” He assists you with getting up on the examination table.

“I’m officially four months along as of one week ago and I’m ready to find out if I’m having a boy or a girl.” You lie back on the examination table and lift your shirt up eagerly. This was your fifth appointment since finding out you were pregnant so you were already familiar with the routine. Although you still could not get used to the cold gel being spread around your tummy as the doctor tried to get a clear picture of your baby. Yet again you grimace when the cold gel is squirted onto your stomach. You stare at the screen excitedly as the doctor finally manages to get a good picture of Baby Min curled up comfortably with their small hands balled into little fists.

“Your husband will be happy to know that you two will have one healthy baby boy.” You might have lied a little about your situation to the doctor and anyone in the waiting room. You only told people you were married because every time you came in alone they gave you pitiful looks and you were getting quite tired of them.

“A bouncing baby boy. I can’t wait to tell him!” The doctor hands you some wipes to clean the gel off your tummy before helping you sit up.

“I’ll go get you print outs of the ultrasound. Congratulations Mrs.Min.” You bite your bottom lip softly while smiling. You couldn’t wait to tell Yoongi about this. He was always so eager to see the ultrasound photos. It was like he was really embracing the fact that it was also technically his child growing inside of you. Not to mention the fact that after you had told your parents about this they were over the moon with joy. Especially Yoongi’s parents, they hadn’t stopped sending small gifts and little care packages since the day they found out.  After getting your printouts you begin the short walk home. You stop along the way at a small food vendor cart to get Yoongi his lamb skewers. Surprisingly, he hadn’t asked for them as often as you thought he would.

When you arrive home the house is quiet because Yoongi was probably working. He was in the final days of the construction of a building he had worked on so he had been staying out later to supervise the building process. You leave the lamb skewers on the table and head to your bedroom to change into something more comfortable. Most of your work could be done from the computer so you figured you could get some stuff done while you waited for Yoongi. You settle down on the couch and get to work.

A few hours later

“Y/N…” You slowly open your eyes when Yoongi gently shakes your body. “Hello, Sleeping Beauty. I figured the couch was uncomfortable so you might want to get to your bed.” Your eyes light up at the sound of his voice.

“I have some news for you!” You reach for your purse and pull out the pictures from the ultrasound quickly handing them to him. He looks at them carefully before the gummy smile you love appears on his face.

“It’s a boy. Not really a mini me but he’s mine and that’s what counts.” You mess with your hands in your lap and look up at him. “I was wondering if maybe you wanted to help me name him...I mean he is yours too. I was hoping you wouldn’t mind if I gave him your last name. I thought about it a lot and I want him to acknowledge you as his dad you know...only if that’s okay with you though.” You were a bit nervous. This wasn’t what Yoongi signed up for when he agreed to help you have a baby. What if he wanted nothing to do with him? What if you were putting too much pressure on him.

“That sounds good to me. I was actually hoping my kid would have my last name. I need someone to leave my riches to when I die anyway. “ He was so casual about it you released a breath you didn’t even know you were holding in. Suddenly your eyes begin to water.

“Y-yoongi...I just wanted to say thank you so much for doing this for me. I’m so lucky to have a best friend like you and I just- I just couldn’t have asked for a better man to be the father of my baby.” You wipe the small tears falling from your eyes and Yoongi can’t help but laugh at how abruptly your mood changed. He sits next to you and pulls you into a warm hug.

“You’re such a baby. I’d do anything for you Y/N you know that. I’m just looking forward to seeing the little man. If he’s anything like his father he’s going to be very handsome.” You let out a small smile and bury your face into his chest. You were slowly falling asleep again but you swore you felt Yoongi kiss the top of your head before you were out like a light.

Pregnancy: Month 7

You are at the point in your pregnancy where waddling around the house is an actual thing. You thought people were lying but it was true you really do waddle. Yoongi made sure to mention it every single time he saw you walking (or waddling) around the house. You have also been having stomach pains lately which your doctor said was normal due to your body preparing itself for labor. As your due date got closer and closer the more anxious yet excited you were. One of the spare rooms had officially been turned into a nursery. Yoongi had also wanted to baby proof your home but you assured him that could wait until the baby could walk around or at least crawl. Every time you try to do something remotely strenuous Yoongi steps in to do it himself.  Your life was just a big series of ‘no’ and’ don’t do that’.

“Yoongi I’m taking out the garbage.” “Don’t you dare Y/N”

“I’m going out for a walk.” “Not by yourself you’re not.”

“It looks like you forgot your phone upstairs, I’ll get it for you.” “I got it. You stay down here.”

“Y/N where are you?” “I’m cleaning the kitchen I just can’t get this thing to come out of the spray bottle.” “NO harmful chemicals around my kid Y/N!”

You were almost sick of how protective Yoongi was over you right now but it was also very sweet. Over the last few months he has been so supportive and understanding about what you were going through. He helped you get over every worry you had. He had even gone to a few appointments with you which you were grateful for. Yoongi also had a bad habit of putting his hands on your bump when you were least expecting it and he constantly has cold hands which makes it ten times worse.

You remember the first time he had out right asked you if he could touch the bump. You were laying on your bed watching TV when the baby began kicking you were so excited that you called Yoongi into the room and he stood there watching as you pointed out the spots the baby was kicking. He looked like he had something on his mind so you asked him what was wrong.

“I was just wondering if I could maybe...touch your bump. I kind of want to feel him kicking.”

“Yoongi...you don’t have to ask. Go ahead. He’s kicking right around here.” You grab his hand and place it on the side of your tummy. His large hand is surprisingly soft and he’s pressing down gently to get a better feel. Ever since that day he thinks he’s the only one that has free reign over the bump. He won’t even let some of his best friends feel it.You quickly regretted telling him he didn’t need to ask.

You never thought you would see Yoongi be so affectionate ever but it was like you were the sun and he revolved around you. Well he probably revolved around the baby more than you but it was the same thing. By affectionate you meant how he often liked talking to the baby about anything and everything.

The two of you were watching a movie in his bedroom and by the ending credits you were falling asleep. You weren’t exactly out yet but your eyes were closed and you did look like you were sleeping. Yoongi shuffled lower onto the bed so his head was near your stomach. You felt his cold hand rest on your stomach and it took everything in you not to push it off.

“Hey Baby Min. It’s your..dad speaking. I’ve been thinking about what to call you. I like SungMin but your mommy likes MinJae. I told her it would be a little weird to call you Min MinJae and she told me it would be weird to call you Min SungMin. I think I’ve come up with a good compromise but I wanted to see if you liked it first. What do you think about being called Min SungJae?” You feel a particularly strong kick which almost blows your sleeping cover but you manage to keep up the act. Yoongi smiles and rubs his thumb back and forth gently. “I knew you’d like it. My little Min SungJae I can’t wait to meet you. 2 more months...Daddy loves you. ”

Yoongi shuts the TV off and settles himself in for bed. Your heart nearly explodes from the cute display of affection you just witnessed. Yoongi was the last person you would expect to be so eager to become a father but now that it was happening right in front of your eyes you felt butterflies in your stomach and you were positive the baby had nothing to do with it.

Pregnancy: Month 9

“Yoongi if you tell me to breath one more time I’m going to break your hand.” Your grip on his hand tightens as another contraction flows through your body agonizingly slow.

“Sorry. I just saw it in movies and I figured it would help.” You bite down on your lip harshly to stop a yelp of pain from escaping passed your lips.

“I think it’s time we call a doctor in here. I’m ready to evict Baby Min.”

“Okay Okay I’ll go find someone. You just...stay here and don’t move.”

“Where would I even go Yoongi?” You respond to him as he rushes out of the room massaging his hand.

Five minutes later Yoongi returns with your doctor and you get down to it.

At approximately 2:43 AM you welcome baby Min SungJae into the world. Instead of screaming at the top of his lungs at birth he lets out a few wails that have you itching to hold and comfort him. He’s absolutely perfect. 10 fingers. 10 toes. The cutest little button nose just like his father. Both you and Yoongi shed a few tears while you stare down lovingly at your newborn.

“He’s absolutely perfect Yoongi. I’ll never be able to repay you for this. “

“You already did repay me Y/N. You and SungJae are all I need.”  Your eyes shift from SungJae to Yoongi and before you can say anything else he presses his lips against your own in a gentle yet passionate kiss. You’re caught off guard but you return the kiss nonetheless, who knew all you needed to find Mr. Right was to ask him to father your baby.

“I knew they were going to get together by the end of this. You owe me $50”  Yoongi’s mom walks in with a smug look on her face meanwhile your mom follows behind her searching for money in her purse. Both you and Yoongi laugh at their antics before going back to admiring your son.

1 week later

Setting the empty bottle down on the bedside table you hand SungJae over to Yoongi slowly so that he can burp him.

“I’m going to get a warmer onesie for him while you do that I’ll be right back.” Yoongi nods his head while resting SungJae on his chest and patting his back gently. By the time you return from the nursery SungJae is fast asleep on Yoongi’s chest.

“Do you want me to take him to his room?”

“Nah, we’re good right here.” You smile lovingly at your two boys.

“Are you just going to stand there and stare at us or are you going to join in on this cuddlefest?”

“I thought you weren’t the cuddling type.”

“I guess I can make an exception for the loves of my life.” You get into bed and curl yourself into Yoongi’s side while he wraps an arm around you. You rest your hand on SungJae’s back and release a content sigh.

“I love you, Yoongi.”

“I love you too, Y/N.” SungJae shifts around on Yoongi’s chest and you rub his back soothingly.

“We love you too baby Min.”

A/N: This is definitely going to have more parts. I’ll probably make it like a little series. I want to call it the ‘Mini Me’ Series. Thanks for giving me the motivation to write this anon! 

[queermediastudies]

The Tolerance Trap Is Not All Right

The Kids Are All Right is a 2010 movie starring Annette Bening, Julianne Moore, and Mark Ruffalo. Most Hollywood movies tend to shy away from the idea of including LGBT characters in the movies and if they do include them, they are more often than not, the supporting characters to the straight characters. This was not the case for The Kids Are All Right but it did play into a whole other group of stereotypical roles and finding a tolerance for the characters.  This movie overall, was cheesy and full of stereotypical clichés that the cinematic movies like to play when there are gay couples involved: One is the butch character and the other is the over feminized one. This movie also played into the fact that the family was in need of fixing with a man in the family which basically is the tolerance trap even though there was not much need of fixing except in the romance area.

Before the kids involve the biological father into the family, Nic and Jules try to play the supporting characters as seen above by handing out hugs whenever the kids are leaving the house. This GIF was taken out of the scene where Laser is under the microscope of his mothers because they believe that he is gay for Clay and did not want to come out to his mothers because he wanted to portray the more masculine character. 

Spoiler Alert: Laser is not gay. That I know of. 

While on the outside, Nic and Jules has the picture-perfect family however, their children are more often than not. Laser is into doing more drugs such as cocaine and more macho behaviors with his overly macho friend, Clay and Joni, the older sister stressed out due to moving away for college. Both children are from the same sperm donor, the character that Mark Ruffalo plays. Laser, the youngest at 15 and only boy in the family seeks out his sister’s, Joni, help to reach out the biological father. Being in finding the father figure mindset, the kids are pro-parental with Mark Ruffalo’s character, Paul.  Ruffalo’s character is considerably very free-spirited such as riding motorcycles, getting any woman to pay attention to him, and even getting involved with Laser and Clay’s antics such as skating off of rooftops.

Paul was trying to play off the silence on his end of the phone when Joni has gotten in touch with him to meet up with her brother and herself and was explaining to Paul about herself - like the fact that she has two moms and they both used Paul’s sperm to have both Laser and Joni. His response was:

“Throughout the 1950s and 1960s, Hollywood began to amend its Production Code and allow more ‘adult’ topics to reach the screen. In 1961, the Code Administration agreed to allow the onscreen treatment of homosexuality as long as it was done with ‘care, discretion, and restraint.’” (Bernshoff & Griffin, 2004, pg. 8) This movie in general played into stereotypical roles that the cinematic crowd eventually needs to rid of. We rely so heavily on it and it is portrayed to the full extent with Nic as more of the butch character. While she is a nurse but she states the rules and the chores that the children need to get doing such as writing thank you cards and banning the ‘fun’ things in life and Jules, the more feminine actress relies on Nic’s income while starting up her landscaping company. However, as the movie continues on – The lack of sex tension lies in the air between Jules and Nic. There was one, ONE scene where they tried to initiate sex and it did not turn out so hot. It was very unsexy but that was not the only time where the picture of sex happened. Due to the lack of it, Jules finds it with the children’s biological father. This then starts to break the picture-perfect family.

In the cinematic world, the LGBT community does not have a lot of groundbreaking movies with scenes or parts that involve same-sex sex scenes. The only thing that stays in place are the chaste kisses between the same-sex couples but having heteronormative scenes to be crazy and ‘sexy’ if that is what Jules and Paul’s relationship was.  The Kids Are All Right feeds into the trope of stereotypes and tolerance whether we want to understand it or not. They do not have the power as much as we want to feed into that trope. While there are the movies and it shows that we have finally ‘completed’ the idea of inclusion for everything and everyone, it falls far beneath the lines of completion. “By declaring the end just in sight, we prevent ourself from crossing the finish line and achieving real integration and inclusion. The framework of ‘tolerance’, a framework that has come to dominate public discussion about gay and lesbian rights, enables this fantasy of completion...we imagine we have reach the pinnacle before we’ve even really started climbing the mountain. Tolerance allows bigotry to stay in place...” (Walters, 2004, pg. 10). 

This movie overall lays into the tolerance trap that Walters (2015) introduces in the course readings. The tolerance trap is the idea that there is something that needs to be fixed and you are able to withstand the thing that needs to be tolerated. Although, LGBT characters in shows do not really needs to be tolerated. . “To say you ‘tolerate’ homosexuality is to imply that homosexuality is bad or immoral o even just benignly icky, like that exotic food you just can’t bring yourself to try.” (Walters, 2015, pg. 2). The reason that I believed this to play a concept in this movie is because of the fact when the kids went to finally meet Mark Ruffalo’s character, Ruffalo’s character was rather in awe and kind of shocked when the kids told him that they had two moms. Paul did try to rub off the surprised look. Later on, in the movie, he tries even harder to break apart Nic and Jules’s family by trying to push Nic away from the picture and even calls up Jules when the kids find out about Jules and Paul knocking boots.  He then proceeds to say in summary to run away with him and they can start a different life together. Jules then proceeds to hang up on him after she adamantly states that she is a lesbian. This to me played into the tolerance trap due to the fact that he thought there was something ‘wrong’ or needs to be fixed since he was not involved in the relationship with Jules and the children. He tolerated the relationship that Nic and Jules portrayed until he was found out by Nic that he was having sex with her wife.

These are just a few problems with the fact that it installs ideals as to how all gay/lesbian relationships are like. This is not potentially a problem, it is the problem in all LGBT movies. There are no happy endings and this is what brought me dislike the movie.

The ending is what made me even more angry in the end. There was no closure for the characters. This movie tried to play the happily-ever-after theme with the wind blowing everyone’s hair and holding hands. This all came to a conclusion when Laser says to his moms:

He wants his family to stay together and he voices it. Giving this as the ending to the movie as they drive down the road, holding hands and away from Joni. The feeling of being away from Paul lifted an unseeingly weight off of their shoulders - At least to me, that is how it was seen.

As a straight person, this movie critically does engage the viewers with comedic stances and overall happy endings. Movies that give me the happy ending are always the best however, this movie gave me a sense of incompletion with the characters - There were a lot of unanswered questions to this viewing of The Kids Are All Right. Happy endings are my favorite. I cannot deny that and while the movie’s ending gave me that sense of it, it was not the ending that it should have been. It was open-ended. To me, I did not even have the tolerance trap stuck in my head until I watched this movie. Paul, the sperm donor will always make me angry with the fact that he tried to insert himself into the family by being the macho man and a ‘parental’ figure as well as having sex with Jules animallistically. 

Again, this movie gave me the happy ending and I cannot complain about that but overall, it could have been more fulfilling. 

References

Benhoff, H., and Griffin, S. (2004). Queer cinema, the film reader. Routledge. Retrieved from course readings.

Gilbert, G. (Producer). Cholodenko, L. (Director). 2010. The Kids Are All Right. United States of America.

Walters. (2015). Introduction: That’s so gay. (Or is it?). Retrieved from course readings. 

[dontshootmespence]

Cutting Strings

A/N: An anon request for a Reader insert where she has been told by her father her whole life that she’s stupid and slow. Rossi is like a surrogate father, and she’s dating Reid, and let’s just say, the father makes the mistake of saying such things around the two agents. Fluffy cuteness with Rossi and Reid and then a little extra romantic fluff with Reid. @coveofmemories @sexualemobitch @jamiemelyn @unstoppableangel8

                                                               ----

Leaving home at the age of 18 had been unbelievably difficult for a number of reasons, but exactly what you needed regardless. Your mother was an amazing woman, but your father, not so much. 

It was difficult to live in the shade of one of the world’s top neurosurgeons and yet not be anywhere near as intelligent. You were average when it came to IQ, no matter how hard you studied, so constantly hearing what an idiot you were wore on your psyche to the point where you couldn’t live at home anymore, even if that meant putting yourself through college without your father’s money.

Waitress jobs, random babysitting and pet-sitting jobs, and the occasional freelance assignment put you through community college, and eventually you obtained a job as a manager of a department store that you enjoyed a fair amount and allowed you to pay the bills. 

Then you’d met Spencer in a deli down the street from the FBI and the rest had been history. The two of you had been dating for over a year and a half, and had instantly adopted his team as an extended family of sorts, especially Rossi, who was more of a father to you in the time you’d known him than your father had been your whole life.

And today was like any other day. Spencer had a lunch break and had called to see if you wanted to meet up for pizza before he decided to go back. Rossi decided to come with him, while the rest of the team went opposite ways for whatever food they wanted to eat. “Hi, honey,” Rossi said, enveloping you in a fatherly hug. Just prior to meeting you, he’d realized he had an adult daughter Joy, and ever since then the fatherly pride oozed from every pore of his body. 

Spencer grabbed your hand and pulled you in for a kiss on the head. “Hi, love. I’ve missed you.”

“You just saw her this morning?” Rossi joked, sticking his finger in his mouth.

Spencer just smiled. “Yea, well I still miss her.”

“I miss you too,” you said, purposely making a kissy face in Spencer’s direction that made Rossi gag again. As you headed into the pizza place, you heart stopped in your throat.

“What’s wrong?” Rossi asked. He followed your line of vision until it fell on a distinguished looking man with salt and pepper hair and an air about him that just screamed dickbag. 

Spencer squeezed your hand tightly. “Is that your father?”

As a pit formed in your stomach, you nodded. “Oh hello,” he said flatly. He had looked to the side and caught your eye. There was no love lost for him when you had left. It was hard on your mom, but not him. “How are you doing?” He didn’t actually care; it was a social obligation he felt he needed to adhere to. 

“I’m okay,” you said, your voice straining in your throat. “Have a good job. Pay my bills. Have a great boyfriend. By the way, this is him, Dr. Spencer Reid.”

“Dr.?” He asked, obviously impressed. “You know my daughter could’ve been a doctor if she’d applied herself more, but I guess she was fine being the dumb one in the family.” If only jail weren’t a reality, I would punch you in the dick right now.

Spencer’s hand immediately started sweating in yours; he wasn’t confrontational, but he sure as hell wasn’t going to let that slide. “Maybe she didn’t want to be a doctor. Maybe, for her, there are other things more important than a career. Family, friends. That sort of thing. Also, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with someone who doesn’t want a high-powered job. It’s not for everyone. It was barely for me and I was thrust into it at the age of 12.”

“Twelve,” he said again, equally as impressed. Again, he was talking as if you weren’t right there. “What do you do for a living? And how did you cross paths with my daughter?”

“Stop calling me that,” you snapped.

He looked toward you. “What? My daughter? You are.”

“You’ve never given a damn about me because I didn’t make you look good. You’ve never claimed me as your own before, you don’t get to do it now because I happen to have an extremely intelligent boyfriend, who by the way, has three Ph.D.s and an IQ of 187, which I believe is 20 points higher than yours if I remember correctly.”

“I work as a profiler for the FBI, Dr. L/N, and yes to the three degrees and IQ. I also have an eidetic memory and can read 20,000 words per minute, and frankly, I think you should be ashamed of yourself for the way you made her feel when she was growing up. That fact that someone as detestable as you was allowed to procreate boggles my mind, and for a man with a 187 IQ, that takes a lot.  She’s smart, beautiful, kind, funny, which is more than I can say for you. You may have intelligence on your side but that’s about all I can see.”

Your father, or sperm donor rather, was about to say something back, when Spencer said something you never imagined. “I am a Doctor, and although I’m not a proctologist, I know an asshole when I see one.”

Rarely speechless, his mouth dropped open, and then he continued to call you a disappointment. Spencer was livid, constantly turning to the side and kissing the top of your head, while he and Rossi went at it. “Personally, I believe you should leave your daughter alone. Forever,” Rossi said. “She’s more of a daughter to me anyway.”

“Who the hell are you anyway?” he asked.

You nearly burst. “His name is Supervisory Special Agent David Rossi, one of the founding members of the BAU and one of the best criminal profilers in the world. And he’s right, he’s been more of a father to me in the last year and a half than you have been my entire life. DNA and money don’t make a father. Love does, and you fucking sucked at that.”

“With the amount of shit that comes out of your mouth, your ass must be really jealous,” Rossi said. He was so proud of himself and you couldn’t help but laugh.

You placed your hands on Rossi’s and Spencer’s shoulders. “Now as much as I love that my man and my adoptive father have been sticking up for me, it’s me who gets the last word. I have no siblings. You and mom are separated. I love mom, but I don’t love you and you don’t love me, let’s be honest. You never have. Don’t talk to me. Don’t send me cards. Don't do me any favors, because they always came with a stipulation anyway. I managed on my own without your money which may not be considered “intelligence” but it’s something. Let mom claim me. I’ll claim myself actually. Pretend you don’t have any kids. I’d prefer it that way.”

And with that, the three of you walked away and onto the food line as your sperm donor walked out the door. The second he had, you burst into tears you were so frustrated. Spencer enveloped you in his arms, while Rossi placed your order. “You know what he says isn’t true, right?” he said, rubbing your back. 

“I know I’m not the smartest person in the world, but I’m not dumb, and even if I was that doesn’t give him the right to be so horrible to me,” you sobbed, your breaths catching in your throat. “It’s hard not to take all that shit to heart when you grew up hearing it every day for 18 years.”

Rossi spoke softly, not wanting anyone else to hear in case they didn’t realize that he was joking, but he knew you’d know. “I mean, I may be a law enforcement officer, but I could probably find a creative way to kill him.”

You snorted through the tears, taking a tissue from Spencer and wiping your eyes. “He isn’t worth you going to jail.” After a few moments, your slices came out of the oven and you sat down at a table that had just been vacated. “I just...it’s hard not to believe something when you’re told it day in and day out. It’s like Stockholm Syndrome, right?”

Spencer hadn’t really thought of it that way, but yes. “Long-term exposure to any ideology would instill it in your brain, so yes,” he said. “Your IQ may not be as high as his, but that doesn’t matter to anyone that matters to you. You’re a good person. You are intelligent. You’re funny and kind, and you somehow didn’t turn into a giant dickhead even though you came from one.”

Rossi echoed Spencer’s statements, saying he was disgusted that a father would even think those things about his own child, no less voice them. “And, I promise, killing him is still on the table...I know guys.”

Rossi came from Long Island, you were sure he knew a lot of guys. “I bet you do,” you replied. “But he’s not worth it. You both are though.” You were sitting between them and rubbed both of their arms. “Thank you again. It means a lot that you stuck up for me.”

“And one day, you won’t have to bear his name anymore,” Spencer said with a smile. You raised on eyebrow. “Really? You gonna marry me?”

“I think I might just,” he said. “You are the whole package.”

As if on cue, Rossi stuck his finger in his mouth again. “Get a room.”

[morethanamillennial]

Why I Agreed to Lower Child Support

Child support, the bane of some non-custodial parents’ existence, is ordered for children to equalize the standard of living if there is a great financial divide between households. For the father of my child, it was a tool for harassment, a bullying card if you will, until I agreed to impute my own income. He threatened to take me to court because I wanted to use the calculation worksheet using actual income figures. I am in a fortunate situation where I can still provide the necessities and more for my child at this point. So even though his income is four times greater than mine, I agreed to a reduced amount – to avoid court and the stress that brings and to take away the power play he has wielded for the past 11 years.  Child support is for the child’s expenses and considered the right of the child. He preferred to pay a lawyer thousands of dollars to find unscrupulous ways to reduce it. It always baffles me when fathers would rather pay to support their lawyer’s children than their own. I liken it stealing from his own flesh and blood. His lawyer told me he wanted to deduct from her child support the gas money it cost him to drive the 15 miles to start his parenting time. He took it off the table when I told him it was ridiculous and I agreed to impute my income. I have no clue from what depths a person’s mind must sink to come up with that kind of deduction. I am not a psychologist and make no claims to be able to evaluate someone’s mental health, but when I read an article about covert narcissists, I thought of him.  We started the parenting journey together in a unconventional way – I posted an ad on Craigslist looking for a sperm donor and was open to co-parenting. Before my daughter was born, we spent about a year getting to know each other to make sure we could get along, had similar values and ideas about how to raise a child and quite frankly figure out if the other was crazy. You never know on Craigslist. There are plenty of horror stories and no one wants a horror story to also be a lifelong commitment. When we first met, he told me he was 45 but I soon learned he was over 50. He apologized and although my intuition screamed RED FLAG, I forgave him. That was a “fool me once” I should have taken more seriously. When my daughter was around six months old, I decided to go back to work part-time. I then received this email from him: “You are being paid a substantial amount of money above the Support Guidelines to be her full time care giver. Until our permanent orders are approved or there is a change in our temporary orders, you must continue to provide her full time care during your parenting hours.” They may just be words but within them contain the essence of how he viewed me – as a vessel to house a fetus and then as a paid caregiver once she was born. If she had been born around the time The Handmaid’s Tale came out I’m sure he would have given me a red dress and white bonnet.  Yes, he supported my daughter with child support he had willingly agreed upon before I gave birth, but it was not enough to cover everything - rent, utilities, food, her expenses and my personal expenses. It was time to go back to work at least part-time to help make ends meet. But in his mind, the child support – money used to equalize the standard of living in households (he made over $100k per year) – was a salary he paid me as if I were his employee.  Our initial arrangement was for me to live in his house for a year so I could be a stay at home mom and then move out and go back to work. This lasted six weeks. Living with him was unbearable – without an income, he gave me money for necessities but he required an itemized list of expenses. When my mom came to visit for the birth and stayed with us, he chastised me for allowing her to sleep in the room with me. The list goes on and so I found an apartment not too far away and in a sense escaped.  Because I moved out of the city he lived in, parenting became “inconvenient” for him. Although he worked out of state all week, he wanted both her daycare and pediatrician to be within his city limits. In court, the judge asked him if he was willing to pick up our child from daycare on Fridays after he returned home from work to start his parenting time. He replied, “No”. The judge told him, “Then I guess you won’t see your child” and he was forced to concede her daycare and pediatrician would be close to where I live as the custodial parent. To punish me for his inconvenience, he threatened to reduce child support every few years. When he found out I paid a babysitter to go out once a week, he bullied. When I refused to pick her up on Sundays at 3 pm instead of the court ordered 6 pm (he only took her 1 night per week), he bullied. He didn’t only bully with money. When she was about two months old, he smugly told me he was going to have her baptized even though we previously agreed she would be raised Jewish and I was planning her Jewish baby naming ceremony. Being a single mother to a baby or toddler is chaotic on its own. He added to the chaos by agreeing to something and then changing his mind just before the twelfth hour. I often felt like I was drowning in an ocean with my baby in one hand and my other holding onto a raft for dear life while he was standing on the raft squishing my fingers so they would release. I didn’t know if he would let us both drown or try to save her as I sunk to the bottom.  When we had joint decision making on her daycare in our temporary order and I was going back to work, he would agree to a provider and then rescind. A couple of times when I knew he’d be in town instead of working out of state, I offered him to take her an extra night. Each time he would email me how he works hard all week and I lack understanding for his need to relax. Instead of viewing an extra night with his child as a gift, he saw it as a potential favor to me.  His game of retaliation usually began with chaos, followed by a threat involving money. My income, never again at the level I made in New Jersey where I’m originally from, was too low to compensate for the rising housing and food costs in my area. Unfortunately, until recently, I was dependent on some extra support.  I take responsibility for posting the ad on Craigslist and can only caution other women from agreeing to a co-parenting arrangement with a sperm donor. Parenting is hard enough with two adults in a relationship who love each other. We walked into a minefield, both of us naïve to the realities of who the other person is. I honestly have no idea the breadth of his need for control, but I know he used his money and our daughter to push it to the limit.  For some, an alternative arrangement like ours might work out fine. However, I advocate the traditional way – go to a sperm bank and use an anonymous donor. You don’t know the complexity of someone’s psychology if they only show what is on the surface. What triggers them, how they respond, any longstanding psychological or personality disorders they have – you’ll never see until a child enters the picture. If you plan on becoming a single mother by choice, do it with the one person you know the best – yourself.

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