#and its like never acknowledged how shitty that is its just like 'oh how sad hes a sad grungly man whos sad over his kid' like i dont care

[therainscene]

It’s funny that Bylers are so often accused of being delusional, because I was at my most delusional when I was anti-Byler.

I spent most of S4 refusing to acknowledge that Will had romantic feelings for Mike, despite knowing damn well what all that love triangle imagery and sad gay pining was implying. I convinced myself it was just bros before hoes drama; that perhaps Will wanted to come out to his best friend but felt nervous after six months of radio silence following “it’s not my fault you don’t like girls!”

The van scene forced me to accept that he really was in love, and it pissed me off because what was even the point of making him fall for a straight boy?

Mike’s bizarre “no homo” behaviour was clearly a symptom of growing up in a conservative 80s household, and witnessing Will’s sacrificial act of love in the van was the shitty lesson he needed to get over his homophobia.

I saw a typical straight male protagonist in an 80s coming-of-age film getting to coast his way to self-actualization on the back of queer suffering; a cruel and homophobic trope I thought we’d moved past by the year 2022.

But then the NINA reunion scene rolled around--

--and I immediately picked up on the heavy parallels between Mike and Will in how they greeted El. The realization hit me like a tonne of bricks: Mike feels the same way about her as Will does.

I thought, “wait, does this mean I was wrong about...? Oh my god. No way.

No fucking way.

Will was in love with El this whole time?? What the fuck, he’s been gay since S1 and she’s his sister this is BULLSHIT I will personally strangle the Duffers--”

Heteronormativity is a hell of a drug, kids.

Let this be a lesson to those of you who think media illiteracy is to blame for Byler denial -- how well someone understands the mechanics of storytelling is irrelevant if they insist on treating Mike’s supposed heterosexuality as an axiom instead of an evidence-based conclusion. The issue lies with bias, not literacy.

I was stubbornly anti-Byler because I knew I’d immediately fall in love with this ship if I allowed myself to have hope it could be canon, and the general state of queer rep in mainstream media meant I was all but guaranteed to get hurt if I was so stupid as to have hope. But in my desperation to cling to the “safe” heteronormative outcome, I only ended up hurting myself with my own silly assumptions.

We’ve seen both canonically gay characters in the show make exactly this mistake, needlessly hurting themselves with their silly but self-defensive assumptions about their love interests.

Stranger Things absolutely nails its depiction of the subtler ways internalized homophobia can manifest -- Will may feel like a mistake and be prone to beating himself up, but he isn’t some pitiful self-loathing queer who wishes he was straight, either. He’s just so crushed by heteronormativity that he accepts it as an inescapable fact of life and lets it guide his beliefs and actions.

Don’t get me wrong: Will, like Robin, is very sensible for being cautious in such a horrifically bigoted environment -- trying to openly defy that level of homophobia by yourself, especially when you’re young, is a bad idea.

But unlike Robin, he clearly struggles to accept that he has the right to chase his same-sex love interest. He's no longer simply exercising caution, but conforming to homophobic standards -- much in the same way I thought I was sensibly refusing to be queerbaited, when really I was just agreeing with the heteronormative status quo.

I realize now that this is the real reason Will was written into a homophobic 80s trope: not to teach Mike an outdated lesson in acceptance, but to maneuver Will into position for the lesson he’s going to learn in S5 about resisting conformity.

Will needs to learn that castrating himself to make straight people comfortable is a bad idea too. Not only is that a miserable way to live his life, but what sort of world is he leaving for the next generation of queer kids if he never questions these homophobic standards?

It’s just the cycle of abuse scaled up to the societal level.

This is what gives me confidence in Byler endgame. Queerness isn’t just an incidental element of Will’s personal arc, but suffuses the show to its very core -- it’s in its themes, its allegory, its characters.

So Will getting the boy isn’t just nice fan-service for Byler shippers, but a necessary ending if the show’s most important lesson is to land:

That it’s rewarding to make the difficult choice of standing up to bigotry in the face of forced conformity. Of choosing love.

Could it be the case that I was right the first time, and Stranger Things is going to turn out to be yet another heteronormative mainstream show that doesn’t commit to its own themes? Sure, maybe. But that wouldn’t invalidate the valuable lessons this show has already -- and apparently accidentally lol -- taught me.

Anyone who calls us deluded for hoping a mainstream show is going to have a gay pairing as its main couple just doesn’t realize -- or doesn’t care -- that they’re contributing to the very problem they’re describing.

[tomkaulitzssgirl]

could u pls do enemies to lovers w tom that leads to sex? btw i adore ur writing its sooo good !!

I Was Scared | Tom Kaulitz

a normal saturday night. you were getting ready to go to your friend crystal’s house. you decided to wear a white t-shirt and a jeans skirt.

there would also been other people of your group of friends, even though not everyone. you guys were around ten people, which was a lot sometimes.

you couldn’t really always agree to do something because of all the different opinions, but somehow you made it work.

tonight besides you and crystal, your other friends, bill, gustav, georg and unfortunately for you, bill’s twin brother tom would come.

unfortunately because you and tom didn’t really have a good relationship and it was all his fault. at first when you guys met, he didn’t really acknowledge you, he talked to everyone but you.

after sometime, he started picking on you, making fun of little things and always being mean to you.

you didn’t know why, you always had been gentle and nice, even when he was a dick, because you couldn’t really be rude to people.

but you had your moments where you lost it and talked back to him. he knew you didn’t like him at all.

just the thought of being in the same room as him made you roll your eyes.

he was so different from bill, he was the sweetest person ever and you guys actually had a really good bond. tom made fun of you when he heard you guys talk about things you had in common and luckily bill knew how to clap back.

bill had noticed how tom was acting towards you, he even tried to talk about it to him but tom ignored him.

sometimes you wished you could’ve been friends since you were always together, but the boy seemed to hate you.

around nine pm, you took your car keys and drove over your friends’s house. she welcomed you with an hug before making you come in.

the others were already there, all sitting down on the couch.

“we were waiting for you to start the movie.” georg sang out with a big smile. you chuckled giving him a kiss on the cheek.

“sorry for being late, the traffic is horrible.” you noticed that the only seat available was the one next to tom and you slapped yourself mentally.

you awkwardly sat down, noticing he was taking a lot of space since his leges were spread open and he was slouched down. you were between him and the couch’s end.

he didn’t even look at you, nor did he say hi. he was simply listening to the others making conversations.

you preferred it that way, it was better if he stayed quiet.

“so, what are we gonna watch?” crystal asked as she turned on the tv, going on netflix.

“oh oh, there is a new movie out! it’s called to all boys i’ve loved before, we should totally watc-“ you were about to finish your sentence but a scoff coming from tom cut you off.

“what?” you turned to him, your smile disappearing.

“what kind of shit movie is that?” he rhetorically asked, looking at you. you realised how close you were in that moment.

“you never watched it, how can you know if it’s bad?” you squinted your eyes at him, shaking your head.

“it’s recommended by you so i guess it’s pretty shitty.” tom shrugged as if he had just stated a fact.

“tom. stop.” bill called him out, glaring at him from the other couch.

“mind your business.” tom said before sighing and getting up, “i’m gonna take a beer.”

he walked to the kitchen nonchalantly and you followed him with your eyes. you felt anger but also sadness inside. why did he have to be so cruel to you?

the others decided to put it on anyway, maybe even to make you a little bit happier after what tom had said. they could see it had made you upset.

you fidgeted with your bracelet as you watched the tv, without really paying attention to the movie.

tom came back some minutes later with a bowl of popcorn and a beer. he put the bowl at the center of the coffee table infront of us before grabbing a bunch and stuffing his mouth.

you tried to ignore the smacking sound but it was too much. he kept chewing those popcorns almost with his mouth open.

“could you stop chewing so loud?” you said almost in a whisper since you didn’t want to disturb the others.

“could you stop being a pain in the ass?” he spat back without even turning to look at you, putting more popcorns in his mouth.

you exhaled heavily, making him chuckle. he enjoyed this, he enjoyed making you feel down.

deciding to ignore him, you went back to watch the movie that you so wanted to see, before a loud obnoxious burp interrupted the silence in the room.

everyone turned around to look at tom.

“ew, you’re disgusting.” you commented making a nauseous face.

“yeah, you’re a pig tom.” georg agreed shaking his head.

“oh fuck off.” he rolled his eyes continuing to drink his beer, “can we fucking change this movie? it’s boring.”

“it’s boring because you aren’t paying attention to it.” you didn’t know why you kept engaging with him, he was too focused on being right than accepting what you said.

“no, it’s boring because it’s a stupid ass movie that only losers like you like.” this time it was enough.

“why are you always so mean to me?” you finally spat out, your whole body turned to his side, “i’ve never done anything to you except being a good person even when you treated me like shit! you didn’t give me a chance since day one, tom. i’m sick of your bullshit. next time don’t call me to hang out it’s he’s here too.” you concluded talking to everyone before getting up and running to the bathroom upstairs.

you shocked everyone since you had never had an outburst like that. you never got angry.

“tom, you’re a fucking jerk.” bill shook his head, letting out an heavy sight.

“yeah, why do you always treat her that way?” crystal asked stopping the movie.

tom stayed quiet, observing the aim of his hoodie that had become interesting in that moment.

“yeah, it’s not like she has ever done something to you so why do you act-“

“it’s because i like her, okay?!” tom finally blurted out almost yelling.

a general “what?” echoed in the living room. they were shocked, tom wasn’t someone that admitted his feelings for someone or that actually liked someone seriously. he only wanted physics stuff.

“yeah i said it. i like her almost since the day i met her but i don’t want to like her.” he explained almost embarrassed.

“so you treat her like shit for keeping her away from you?” georg asked wrinkling his eyebrows, “what kind of fucking cliché is it?”

“i know. it’s stupid but if i keep her distant, this feelings will go away. everything will go back to normal.” tom said, lighting up a cigarette.

“tom, you should go talk to her. tell her the truth. you’d rather lose her than be in a relationship? don’t be ridiculous.” bill always tried to make his brother think, especially in this type of situations. he was the romantic and lover one, never had just one night stands like his brother.

tom’s irritation flared but he got up from the couch, knowing bill was right. he wouldn’t admit that to him though.

he walked upstairs, where the bathroom was, as he kept smoking his cigarette. knocking on the door, only silence could be heard.

“y/n?”

“go away.” you immediately answered as soon as you heard his voice.

“let me come in.” he leaned with his shoulder against the wall and looked at the floor.

“are you dumb? go away.” tom could hear your broken voice and that made his body fill with guilt.

“i need to talk to you, it’s important.”

you didn’t answer, but after a couple of seconds the door opened. tom entered slowly and you closed the door behind you.

you stared at tom with your arms folded against your chest, an eyebrow raised. “so? and also, you know i hate smoke.”

tom noticed your puffy and red eyes.

“were you crying?” he asked throwing the cigarette away down the wc.

“no, my eyes happen to be swollen.” you answered sarcastically before sitting down on the floor.

tom played with his lip piercing, unsure of what to do next, deciding to sit down next to you.

“what do you want tom? if you’re here to bother me some more just go-“

“i’m not. i’m here to say sorry.” his words ran from his mouth and he almost felt ashamed, he had never say sorry, not directly at least.

“i’m sorry, because i was selfish. i didn’t think of how everything would make you feel, i just thought about protecting myself.” he looked at you with truthful eyes.

“from what?” you tilted your head to the side as you grew confused.

tom let out a shaky breath. now or never.

“from loving you.”

a moment of silence filled the bathroom, as you looked at him, finding that unbelievable. how could he love you and treat you like that at the same time?

“w-what…how? what?” you didn’t even know what to say. your mind was full of questions that wouldn’t come out.

“you heard me. i love you, i was treating you like shit so it would go away but it fucking didn’t and it just made you hate me. sorry.” there it was. his full explanation. he had said it and couldn’t go back in time.

“is this another prank of yours? because if it is it, isn’t funny tom.”

he didn’t say anything, he just placed his hand on your cheek and crashed his lips against yours. your eyes widened.

tom asked for entrance with his tongue and slowly you let him in, wrapping your arms around his neck.

when you broke away, you kept sharing small pecks as your eyes met, a small smile on both of your lips.

you both didn’t know what to say next, it was like the kiss you shared had said it all.

“you’re such a dick.” you commented with a small laugh, shaking your head as you looked down. your bodies were now closer than ever, his hands on your hips.

he smirked knowing what that meant, it was done, you were finally his. his lips went to your neck, leaving small wet pecks on your skin.

you were covered in goosebumps, giving him more access to kiss you. “t-tom…”

he shushed you, getting you to lay down on the floor as he got on top of you, “i wanna make you feel good. can i? do you want to?”

you waited before nodding, deciding that you wanted to live that moment fully.

“t-tom but i-i never…” you were shy to say that you had never had sex before. he was about to be your first.

he seemed to understand what you wanted to say without you even saying it, and he nodded gently touching your skin under your shirt. “it’s okay, i’ll be gentle.”

he removed your shirt, leaving you in your black bra. he stared at your covered beasts, leaning down to kiss your chest.

his hands traveled to the strips of your bra, gently sliding them down. you knew where he was getting at so you leaned up a bit, making it easy for him to remove it completely.

your back touched the cold floor and your arms tried to cover yourself, but he blocked you, placing your arms above your head. “you’re beautiful, don’t be embarrassed.”

his sweet words encouraged you to feel more confident, finding the strength to kiss him hungrily.

tom hummed into the kiss, one hand keeping him up for balance as the other fidgeted with his belt. you decided to help him remove it, before he took off his pants and shirt completely.

you stared at his body almost drooling. he was so hot, almost like he was created by greek gods, with his defined muscles and abs.

tom smirked noticing you staring at him while gulping down, before sliding down your skirt and throwing it somewhere.

you wrapped your legs around his waist as he lowered his boxers, revealing his hard member. you couldn’t believe your eyes.

“will that fit in?” you couldn’t comprehend how something that big could go in you.

tom laughed, “yes, cause you’ll take it like a good girl, right?”

you bit down your lip, nodding at his words, his hand coking closer to your core. he began rubbing your clit, making you gasp. you never felt something like this before.

“does that feel good?” tom asked in your ear, his hot breath on your neck.

“y-yes, o-oh my god.” you stuttered as you moaned, his hands working magic on you. suddenly, he inserted a finger in your entrance.

“slow!” you almost screamed as you felt like it feared you apart.

“sorry baby. fuck, you’re so wet.” he kissed your neck, going slower. as you get used to the feeling, he began going in and out of you, making your eyes roll to the back of your head.

“t-tom, i want you. please…” you begged arching your back. he stroked himself, nodding frantically.

“you asked so nicely baby, you’re such a good girl for me huh?” he slowly came closer to your entrance with his tip.

“y-yes, just for you…” your mouth formed like a ‘o’ shape as he teased you, going up and down with his member.

“ready?” he asked looking deeply into your eyes.

you nodded needing him more than ever. you never craved someone’s body this way.

tom went gently in you, groaning as he felt you around him. “shit, you’re tight. it feels so good.”

you squeezed your eyes shut at the pain, feeling it ten times worse than you did with his finger.

he was still, his hands at the sides of your head, looking down at your expressions that turned him on even more. “tell me when i can move.”

your arms found their way around his neck, “y-you can now.”

tom nodded, starting to go slowly in and out of your feminine part. your whimpers, shy moans drove him crazy, he just wanted to fuck you into oblivion but he knew he had to wait for that.

his gaze burned on your skin, examining your unholy expressions.

“g-go faster, please!” you moaned loudly, your hands gripped his dreads.

his pace quickened, finding easily your sweet spot, making you a mess beneath him. you were heaving repeatedly, mumbling disconnected words, his name a mantra.

“you feel so fucking good baby, you like it huh? you’re so lucky. oh shit.” he kept sending you over the edge with his dirty talk, throwing his head back.

“kiss me.” you breathed out, his hands gripping your thighs. he didn’t waste no time, kissing you sloppily.

you kept moaning against his lips, his thrusting becoming harder. the sounds of your skin clapping, your whimpers and his groans were the only thing that could be heard.

“shit i’m about to cum. are you close, baby girl?” tom said placing his forehead against yours.

you felt an unusual heat on your lower stomach and you furrowed your eyebrows. “y-yeah but…”

“no, let go baby. you need to let it go.” he shook his head knowing what we’re you about to say. maybe it was because was your first time but you kept holding back.

tom noticed it so he took the matter into his hands, pressing one of them on your lower body.

your eyes widened as your orgasm took over, sending shivers down your spine. tom followed right after you, finishing with a grunt.

he fell on top of you, breathless. your legs trembled as you were still riding your climax.

he looked up at you before raising his head and kissing your lips. “you did so good.”

a smile formed on your face, blushing hard at his words. you couldn’t believe you had sex with tom, someone you thought hated you.

“y/n, wanna be my girl?”

it took a lot of courage for him to ask you that.

“of course i do.” you cupped his cheeks, pecking him on his lips.

neither of you could stop smiling, totally drunk in love.

[scoops404]

i feel horrible. I feel betrayed and I’m depressed but strangely not surprised?

Its not even, not even about who is worse or whatever, i just- I heard connor eats pants talk, he said how george and the dream team, (even if they don’t acknowledge it,) have a large young girl audience. That’s the part of the audience that helped them grow.(And id say the audience who was the most emotionally, young girls or queer people who a lot of the time grew up presenting female or queer people in general, who are also at higher risk of getting used or assaulted ) and how its disgusting and disappointing to see them drop these weird points about consent and i (as a part of that demographic myself) - that really hit me in some way. That really hit me and something about it rings in my chest with hurt an realisation. It makes me incredibly sad, and yet it makes me realise stuff.

That point to me seems incredibly important.

That fact makes their statements seem ignorant..

Im slowly coming to terms with how I personally want to move forward with acknowledging their content, the content that was genuinely helping my depression and was part of my routine. So I didn’t formulate this to be some sort of statement, but more of a “oh” moment that i wanted to share

These men don’t feel like they care about the large audience they hurt.. young girls, and how their respective statements about consent could affect idk their world view? :/

Something i got reminded of when reading tumblr after watching that connor tiktok clip of his stream.

I see where you're coming from and what you're feeling is valid and it's entirely up to you if you want to stay or not

I just think that we've seen a lot of examples of them being good to women, in a professional sense as well as personally (as recent as Sapnap's birthday stream we saw George direct the camera away from Sylvee's skirt while she was climbing the wall). This is not a defense of George's behavior regarding the Caiti situation in any way, shape, or form, but we also can't erase the good behavior that we have witnessed, you know?

Like, I've left fandoms for petty reasons and big reasons (i used to love shane dawson, I used to love david dobrik, i went on a weird hate watch spree for a couple depressing months in like 2018 for the paul brothers--i'm not proud) and when a cc's behavior becomes clear, I drop their ass. Even through the drituation, I've never seen behavior from the dreamteam that I thought was hateful against anyone and I believe they've always shown that they want to do what's right when they do mess up.

Do I think they have room to grow? Yeah, absolutely. But I don't think they secretly hate women or are exploiting us. ((no matter what Hannah is saying now, they have had many close female friends for quite a while--Puffy, Sylvee, Gia--and I feel like those people wouldn't have stuck around if they were shitty to women constantly when off camera))

I don't think this incident with Caiti is just another in a long line of dubious consent situations (not that I can know). If I thought they were doing this behind the scenes all the time, I'd nope out. I'm hoping that they can take this as a learning moment and find greater nuance in consent. We are always learning and Dream, the most, has always shown he's willing to take criticism and realize why something was wrong and not do it again. We've seen this from George too when he apologized for old screen shots with slurs. They aren't perfect, none of us are, but I have hope that they'll move forward with a clearer idea.

To be quite honest, I have seen the conversations around consent morph in my lifetime. It's a wonderful thing to see women speaking up and being believed and consequences coming down on men when, historically, that has almost never been the case. We need to keep having these conversations and reinforcing the line, no matter how uncomfortable it can be.

As far as dream team not caring about their audience, I can't really disagree with that right now lol. I certainly don't really feel cared for, but I'm here more for my friends now at this point.

Keep thinking through what this means for you and how you want to move forward for yourself. there's nothing wrong with putting them down for a while. I see a trend of former fans burning the ground as they leave, but like, you can just leave or take a little hiatus from dreamteam, and that's absolutely fine! You can always change your mind and come back, or you can find something else and get super invested in that. No one is going to track what you're doing and judge you, I promise.

As far as content to help you through depression, I can't recommend Brittany Broski and Trixie and Katya enough. I've been listening to Trixie and Katya's Podcast, the Bald and the Beautiful, for my long commutes and they keep me laughing. I'd start with their "Unhhh" youtube series though because it's..... Hilarious

Sorry this got so long. Classic Scoops

[joesalw]

I think the reason why in pretty much all of her controversies Taylor has preferred to remain silent is that she hates being put on the spot, hates not being in control of the entire situation. She's been pretty open always about being a control freak and being very iron gripped with her public persona at least, and I also think any outside pressure no matter the situation makes her act like a spiteful child. Its probably why shes doubled down on not saying anything to acknowledge Anas death in Brazil, too many people are asking her to and she's throwing a fit.

Think "oh you want me to talk about x thing? you all keep talking about it and constantly riding me to say something? well guess what, now I'm not saying anything, I'll just pretend it doesn't exist." she did that back in 2020 when she left Tumblr, because black fans were begging her to say literally anything about the blm protests or just in general voice support for the black communities in America but she didn't like the pressure and just silently ghosted and still lets those fans get treated like shit to this day because other white fans usually say shit like oh they drove her off tumblr they harassed her.

She's so embarrassingly petulant for a 34 year old woman. Teens can get away with shitty attitudes because they're still growing up, she's been grown for a while so it's just sad as hell honestly that she can't work past that but tbh what incentive does she have to do so? Even when she acts like an asshole there's still millions of people lining up to throw hundreds and thousands of their dollars at her, her tours are still packed, her music still sells. There's zero practical reason for her to change her behavior, plus I'm sure she surrounds herself with yes men so she never feels challenged in any of her decisions. So I don't think she'll ever change, I don't think she'd ever pursue it unless it was to win back public favor in the event she did something that would actually impact her brand.

I'm sure it was jarring as hell for Joe to realize who he was really standing next to, because that just doesn't mesh at all with what he's shown of his personality and how he is. Like must've been such a betrayal to be with someone for years but slowly recognize that they're actually fuckin nuts and do not care about publicly smearing others, making shady moves to ruin other people's careers (that Kate person from big machine who lost our on being featured on the hunger games soundtrack because Taylor just couldn't stand not being the only female artist for example + the Olivia Rodrigo thing) and acting like regina george in mean girls with her model squad. Not to mention she just doesn't care about being close friends with racists, working with rapists, being friends with someone who admitted to molesting their sister (Lena Dunham), the list goes on.

Taylor is the perfect example of how ridiculous it is that we really expect anything from celebrities especially in the US, they're morally bankrupt and do not give a fuck about the common person. If you've got leagues of braindead consumers on your side you could get away with murder, it's why I don't participate in any celebrity worship or stan culture, you can't use people like that as moral guideposts because they don't even have morals to begin with. If she did, Taylor would've been in contact with Anas family immediately at the very least, would've offered her condolences to her family, literally anything to show she felt real human emotion and grief at her passing. But she hasn't, so it's just another example of her absolutely mind blowing selfishness and narcissism.

You spilled so hard anon👏 Spot on👏

[neoyi]

I'm almost done with season one of Ranking of Kings and it keeps blowing me away with its characters and the oodles of nuances and layers they're carrying.

It's ridiculously clever how the fairy tale aesthetic (which is gorgeous - like looking at an animated picture book) uses well-worn archetypes, narratives, and character appearances to throw you for a loop. I'm thoroughly impressed particularly by the seemingly "evil" characters who quickly reveal they're anything but.

Like Prince Daida, the younger, brutish half-brother to the main character, Bojji, had all the introduction to mark his path as another Joffery-like Kid Sociopath. But nah, man, he's actually horrified of any untoward acts and is capable of sympathy and loneliness.

Or Bojji's best friend, Kage, a shadowy thief who's led a shitty life that's left him cynical, except right after episode 2, when he sees Bojji's suffering, he decided to be his best friend right then and there, and has stuck by his side since. This shadow blob, who could have been a roguishly selfish asshole, is instead Bojji's biggest supporter!

I love that Bebin, the sneaky snake guy, who seemingly has a rivalry with the Good, Blond Knightly Knight Domas, does not have some grand plan to quietly betray his King and take over. Hell, I'm not sure what his goal really is (as befitting his nature), but he's far from some treacherous backstabber, just a really damn good information gatherer/spy.

He and his snake buddies are also friends! I love that the big, fucking two-headed snake, Mitsumata, is actually super kind and loyal, largely because Bebin actually treats his reptilian friends with love for their well-being. Can I say how much I appreciate all the snakes being good creatures instead of reducing them to yet another Evil Reptile thing? They're all nice and helpful.

It's actually the Handsome, Fair-Haired Domas, who actually betrays Bojji (under orders, but still) via attempted assassination instead of the usual suspect. Which he acknowledges and works to fix. Like holy shit, it's NOT the Snake Charmer, it's Mr. Good Knight. Because Domas has a complex about loyalty to his kingdom versus what he feels is right. And it eats at him. Oh my GOD, these characters are a lot and it's great.

I also love Despa, who's foppish and physically weak, hardly what you'd expect to be Bojji's trainer to be a better fighter. But he's incredibly quick-witted and can strategize like a motherfucker. He literally learned fighting by observation and passes that knowledge to others. Like he looks like a french coward, but nah man, he's a good, smart egg.

But for my money, the best is Bojji's stepmother, Queen Hiling, who starts off as the supposed "evil stepmother", but really at worst, can be blunt. There is never a single doubt she doesn't love both her sons and will go to hell and back from them (symbiotically, it is appropriate she has healing powers.) Even her demanding and unmovable personality is shown in a good light, because she gets shit down and refuses to rest when her kingdom is in danger (and people around her are often in shock and awe in response.)

I love her. She's great. I hope she kicks Bosse in the nuts because what the FUCK is that dude doing? What is his plan? What are you doing, my dude?

I just love that these characters and their specific archetype were deconstructed with a myriad of contrasting personality traits from what we initially expected of them, and never in a Dark and Edgy Way. Not every character is "Good", what they are are richly defined with a lot of admirable traits.

Man, I'm gonna be sad once I catch up because lord knows when season two's gonna arrive.

[dmclemblems]

Another thing worth mentioning about Claude's relationship with his parents: despite his feelings of admiration for his mother and despite remembering the bedtime stories his father told him, he still never writes to them. He can contact Nader no problemo (can even have him IN FODLAN, and for extended periods of time!), but his supports with Hilda also show off that he's so disconnected from his parents he's actually not even sure they're still alive.

Claude: Well, that's a fine thing to do, regardless of your reasons. As for me, it's been far too long since I've written to my parents...

Hilda: Oh? I thought your father had died.

Claude: Not quite. He's still alive and kicking...as far as I know. 

So on top of the Horse Incident... the "deal with the assassins yourself tiny child" thing... the fact that Claude ran away without telling his dad (if we go by Hopes) and without his mom seeming to give a shit that he's leaving all by himself... the act that going by Hopes Daddy-o is doing Literally Nothing about his children trying to violently invade his lover's homeland, and nothing about his children trying to murder each other for his throne... yeah these two are incredibly shitty parents, Gilbert could never dream of being this bad lmao.

But like, I also kinda like how... real? I guess? Claude's reaction to this is. He loves his parents, and he'll have open admiration for at least his mother, but then he starts talking about the other stuff and it's like "oh, that sounds like an abuse victim." Hearing him talk about how he "deserved" to either be dragged around by a horse or helplessly tied to its saddle as it runs around (depending on which version) shocked me when I first heard it, because "I was being bad I deserved to get hit by my parents" is such a huge red flag hearing someone say.

Plus how fondly he looks back on that memory - like you said, he was probably so elated to have his parents pay attention to him that the means in what they did so literally meant nothing to him (and could also tie into why he remembered those bedtime stories so well; another rare moment of his parent's attention being given to him) And him making the active effort to not talk to his parents once he ran away makes it so much worse, and hearing him still hold such fondness for them anyway in his A support with Byleth is almost more sad than it is endearing.

I'm honestly also surprised that the fandom just never acknowledges this? They act like Claude's parents are so cool for the most part, when his are legit some of the worst 3H has to offer and he's such a clear case of an abused child it's not even funny.

For real lol. People bash Gilbert for leaving his family while completely ignoring all the context about why. Meanwhile they celebrate badass Almyran king and queen despite that they’re horrible to Claude and probably all of their children as far as the king goes.

I also appreciate how Claude’s situation is complicated regarding his parents. Even abused children can still love their parents and it’s a very difficult situation. It’s a cycle of being abused then the parents will do something nice for the child, and that child believes they love them now and will be nice to them going forward. When that doesn’t happen, they remember the good things and try to tell themselves that their parents aren’t all bad and that there’s good in there. They love them for the nice things they do and tend to want more of it, so they stick around hoping to see that more.

Once Claude got old enough I’d imagine he probably realized it wasn’t normal and decided enough was enough. Even if he just wanted attention from his parents, I’m sure he could only take so much of what he went through between the assassinations and nobody really caring about him. Hilda was right to be shocked and horrified at what Claude went through, because that’s just... not normal. Also, if a child comes to believe they deserved the treatment, it’s because the parents made them think they deserved it and the child starts to accept it even if the punishment is reprehensible.

Even though Claude tends to brush this stuff off like it’s all in the past, it’s clearly affected him and his ability to trust people and form emotional connections. Like I said above, he remembers the good things fondly because it was the only positive attention he could get. He doesn’t fondly remember being punished and just speaks casually of it, but he shows no happiness for it. I’m sure Tiana does love him, but it also sounds like she either is afraid to go against her husband’s ways or just changed for the worse. Maybe the king does also love Claude, but it doesn’t excuse how terribly he treated him. Fact is, you’re only a child once and once you’re scarred from your childhood, you can’t just fix that.

Him not talking to his parents after leaving is a good step forward for him tbh. Cutting off contact regardless of how “sad” they might be is what you have to do in that situation. It’s like when toxic parents want their children to live with them to use them for selfish reasons, and they gaslight their kids so they can get what they want and be controlling. In that situation all you can really do is cut them out of your life. Of course, there’s always the whole giving them another chance in the future kind of thing, but if they continue acting like that then you cut them out permanently.

In Claude’s case I think he did the right thing to leave his father hanging like that, because boo hoo the king is so sad he can’t rule properly, but how do we not know that wasn’t intentional acting so that hopefully the information would reach Claude that he was acting like that? Maybe he could make Claude feel bad and come home... and the cycle would just continue. When parents act sad like that and “miss” their child despite having previously abused them in any form, it’s usually meant to manipulate the child’s emotions and make them come back. If your kids are trying to kill each other for whatever reason, how does that not make you more depressed than your most abused and bullied child running away from home and getting away from all that?

Personally I never found his stories about his life to be endearing. I found all of it to be depressing and upsetting. He may be older in the time of the game and know how to better manage that stuff, but it’s always worth noting that he was just a little boy when all this happened to him. Kids can get scared so easily and yet he acts like none of it actually really affected him, despite that any child being put through all that would traumatize them. All of that shows in his personality through his relationships and his inability to notice he’s pressing too hard on someone’s emotions until after it’s already done. He’s literally still in the learning process of how to understand other people’s emotions at the age of 18.

Having any fond memories of his abusers is exactly what a lot of abuse victims go through. I’m honestly shocked most of the fandom doesn’t look at his experiences as being legitimately terrible. His parents aren’t cool or badass. They’re terrible parents and not people who even deserve to call him their child. They certainly didn’t treat him like parents should treat their children. No child should be growing up in those circumstances.

The funny thing about the whole “bad parent” thing with Fodlan’s parents is that with Faerghus, they’re not only pretty decent parents, but then you get Matthias, who, well, more or less neglected his children (rather than abused them). Difference being, in Hopes he actually admits to knowing he was a bad father to Sylvain (and presumably Miklan who is still alive and well in that timeline as it’s GW he says this to Sylvain in). Then you have Lambert, who Rodrigue believes Dimitri losing would be horrible for Dimitri. Lambert decides that if he does die, he can safely leave Dimitri to Rodrigue. He had an idea, some sort of plan, if he were to die where his child would be safely in the care of someone who loved him. Rodrigue loved Glenn so much that he never stopped looking for answers about Duscur, coming across all kinds of valuable information about things that didn’t concern Glenn simply because he was distraught and had to know why his son had to die that day (and no, it wasn’t because he was a true knight. That was Rodrigue’s distressed way of coping. When he was in a better state of mind, he investigated the situation to get real answers. That’s the proof he wasn’t satisfied with the idea of leaving it at “Glenn was just doing his job”). Regarding Felix, Felix was the one who didn’t want to talk to Rodrigue, so Rodrigue backed off and let his son have space, but always looked out for him and tried to get closer to him. There was only so much he could do, but he did what little he could because he cared about Felix, even if Felix would walk away mad. Rodrigue just wanted his son in good hands.

That’s a pretty massive contrast to leaving your child vulnerable to assassins who are also partially your other children by not protecting him. Faerghus’ fathers would 110% absolutely have someone’s head for trying to harm their child, much less kill their child. No child deserves to have to fight their own battles, and no child deserves to have to rely on themselves to survive. Even with animals, you see the mother raise her young until they’re old enough to leave their home. Birds, cats, rabbits, you name it. They take care of their babies and keep them safe at home until they’re old enough to wander and get their own food and live outside of a confined area for their safety. It’s pretty much instinctual.

If Claude were real, all the stuff he went through would be such a big deal. I wish more people saw that because it’s good writing as far as Claude is concerned, but it also means his parents weren’t as amazing as other people say they are. Notice how it’s always other characters talking about how great they are, but Claude never has very good things to say about them that extend beyond basically “look they gave me attention once or twice every half a year”.

[marblemoovt]

Cotton Candy - Mondo Owada/Reader

Masterlist

Rating: Teen

Word Count: 1.4k

Warnings: None, just good ol’ fluff

Summary:

You and Mondo attempt to make cotton candy.

-------- "You're tellin' me ya just throw hard candy at this thing, and it turns into cotton candy?" Mondo eyes the box you brought back after doing the weekly grocery shopping, doubtful of its capabilities.

"Yeah! I saw it in the discount section and thought that we could have some fun making our own cotton candy; I know how much you love cotton candy." You try to justify your spending habits, but the expression on your boyfriend's face says you're doing a poor job.

"Sure, like that sad kid on the front's so convincing," he points at the photoshopped image on the front of the box, "I mean, look at him, the poor kid looks lifeless and cotton candyless."

Note:

I am currently posting a few of my old works from Wattpad onto ao3, and now tumblr! Keep in mind that most of these are probably a couple of years old. And while they might make me cringe, as old writing tends to do, I don't think I'll ever rewrite any of them due to sheer laziness. I hope you enjoy reading these tho!

─── ⋆ ｡ﾟ☆: *. ☽ .* :☆ﾟ｡⋆ ───

"You're tellin' me ya just throw hard candy at this thing, and it turns into cotton candy?" Mondo eyes the box you brought back after doing the weekly grocery shopping, doubtful of its capabilities.

"Yeah! I saw it in the discount section and thought that we could have some fun making our own cotton candy; I know how much you love cotton candy." You try to justify your spending habits, but the expression on your boyfriend's face says you're doing a poor job.

"Sure, like that sad kid on the front's so convincing," he points at the photoshopped image on the front of the box, "I mean, look at him, the poor kid looks lifeless and cotton candyless."

You huff, "Oh, you know they just do a poor job marketing these things." You open the box and take out the machine, glancing at the instructions. "Just give it a try; how bad can it be?" you say, dismissing any of his skepticism. "So the instructions say—" A loud crinkle and a couple of thumps interrupt your train of thought.

"Fuck." You turn to see Mondo picking up a bunch of his favourite hard candy off the floor and a torn open bag. He meets your eyes, and the smirk never leaves your face. "Shaddup! I was told to give it a try, so here I am, givin' this hunk-of-junk a chance to prove itself." His sentence starts angry, but it quickly dwindles into mumbling as he continues cleaning up the mess.

You crouch down to help him, but he defensively shoos you away. Putting your hands up, you tell him, "If you want to be all Tsundere, then go ahead." As you stand up, you turn your attention back to the machine and proceed to finish setting it up. When you flip the switch, a quiet hum fills the air, and a little light indicates that the device is heating up. "Do you want to start with your favourite candy?" you ask, glancing at your corn-headed boyfriend.

"Ain't it obvious ya gotta start with your least favourite?" he says and crosses his arms, "that way the cotton candy's not much of a disappointment if it turns out shitty."

You nod your head in agreement. "Fair point," you acknowledge, searching the bag of candy you compiled after raiding your cupboards. Mondo would never admit it, but he has a huge sweet tooth, cotton candy being his absolute favourite. Hence there is always a stash of candy somewhere in the house. After rummaging your hand blindly in the bag, you pull out a packet of warheads, the extreme sour kind. Mondo's complexion pales when you show him what you're starting with.

"Can't we start with something a little, I don't know, sweeter?" he says nervously, "cotton candy ain't meant to be sour, y'know?" The reason he wavered in front of the warheads is that despite having an affinity for sweets, he has a strong dislike for sour candy. Sometimes you question his position as the leader of the most notorious bike gang in the country.

Popping a couple of warheads into the little tray, you ignore his concerns and say, "Can my Mondo not handle a little sourness?" you tease him, poking his cheek in an attempt to evoke a reaction from his stoic expression. He turns his head away, but you can feel his skin grow warmer during the next poke.

"Course I can. Nothin' like sour candy will stop me from enjoyin' my cotton candy," he attempts to look calm and collected; however, you notice that little droplets of sweat are forming on his forehead. You pop a warhead into your mouth, swirling the candy around with your tongue. The sourness punches you in the face at first, but it soon dissipates and is replaced with a mellow sweetness.

"Well, I know one way to make them sweeter," you tell him. He perks up in interest, and you take advantage of his oblivious state by grabbing the collar of his jacket and pull him towards you. Bringing your lips to his, you initiate the kiss first and cheekily prod your tongue into his mouth. He groans in frustration but relents the control to you, tasting the candy on your lips. You push the candy from your mouth into his, pulling away and grinning at him. He sits there in a daze, processing what just happened.

He snaps out of it and blushes furiously. "It's not so bad, I suppose." Coughing to alleviate some of the awkward tension, he fervently looks for something to steer the conversation. "Look!" he shouts suddenly, "it's working!"

Sure enough, when you look at the machine, little spindles of floss start forming around the walls. "See, I knew this was a good idea," you say, tossing any buyer's remorse out the window. Grabbing one of the paper cones that came with the kit, you swirl it around, making sure you turn as you go to build up the fluffiness. Luckily you added quite a bit of candy, so you ended up with a decent amount to share between two people. The result is pastel-coloured cotton candy, and you tear off a piece to pop into your mouth. The fluffy candy instantly melts in your mouth, a sourness that leaves a sweet aftertaste.

"From the look on your face, I'm assuming it turned out well?" he glares at the cotton candy, "it's not that sour, right?" You roll your eyes and hold out the cone. Reluctantly, he rips off a small piece and eats it. His face puckers up almost immediately, and he sticks his tongue out in disgust. "I don't know how you can eat that crap," he admits, quickly pulling you towards him and kissing you sweetly. "Hmm, much better," he hums, licking his lips and smirking at your flustered expression.

"Are you sure you don't need a little more sugar?" You boldly press against his body, smiling innocently at him. He rests his hands on your waist, squeezing your hips playfully.

"As a matter of fact," he leans closer and pushes you against the table, "I do." He reaches behind you to grab more sweets, pulling out another bag of his favourite hard candies. The pout on your lips cause him to smirk, his violet eyes glittering mischievously. "You're lookin' a little bitter there, darlin'," he remarks, obviously trying to piss you off.

"I wonder whose fault that is?" you chide, narrowing your eyes at him. Unphased by your glare, Mondo proceeds to unwrap the candies and drops them into the tray.

"I know. I tell ya, anyone dumb enough to anger you is just askin' for death." He continues feigning ignorance, twirling the paper cone as you burn holes into his back with your gaze. Just to spite him, you take a big chomp out of his cotton candy, munching furiously. "Hey! I was gonna eat that!" Next, you try to swipe the cotton candy out of his hand, but a sudden sugar crash causes you to stumble instead, sending the two of you onto the ground. You attempt to get up, but he grips tightly onto your waist and rolls around to flip the two of your around.

"M-Mondo!" you hiss, "the kids are watching!" He glances at the two little Maltese dogs and the cat that you both parent. The three fluffy creatures staring inquisitively at the both of you.

"As long as we keep our clothes on, I don't care if they see or not." He cups your face with one hand, his thumb resting on your chin, and he asks, "so how are you going to compensate for the loss of my cotton candy?" You look and, out of the corner of your eye, you see the abandoned ball of fluff sitting sadly on the ground. "I didn't even get a chance to eat it," he adds sadly, truly grieving over spun sugar.

You lick your lips nervously and open your mouth, "Well. Ummm..." It's hard to predict his actions when he gets provoked. His eyes watch your lips, and he smirks faintly.

"Guess that'll have to do," he refers to the bit of cotton candy stuck around your mouth. Leaning his face down, he licks the corner of your lips, causing you to shudder in delight. He pulls back and grins, noticing the sudden needy look in your eyes. "I suppose the cotton candy can wait." He gets up and carries you in his arms, heading in the direction of the bedroom. Making sure that none of the 'kids' followed, he shuts the door.

Suffice to say that the cotton candy maker was actually one of the best discount deals you've ever gotten since Mondo used it practically every other day. Which led to many walk-ins of Mondo making cotton candy at 3 am.

"I swear it's not an addiction."

─── ⋆ ｡ﾟ☆: *. ☽ .* :☆ﾟ｡⋆ ───

End Note:

The ending is left open but we all know what happens ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Did anyone else ever have or used one of those cotton candy machines? Some of them use hard candy and some of them accept just pure sugar. I can't remember the last time I ate any. I always giggle tho when I remember what it's called in French (to save you a google search it's barbes à papa, which literally translates to something like papa's beard)

Reblogs are appreciated!

[mist-girl999]

Also here's all the shitty poetry I wrote this summer

warning I am not a good poet also TW: implied s/a and also just general soulcrushing sadness and angst

Forest Green and Knobby Knees:

You said your walls were forest green

Sertraline tastes sickly sweet going down

Maybe that’s why life lost its color

It never had any to begin with

I’m told im missing the vibrancy

That I’m living among shades of brown

It makes me want to cry sometimes

Even though it’s all i’ve ever known

Eyeliner stamps distract me from it all 

when I remember to use them

I rarely do

I only get to be a woman when it’s convenient

When it’s harmless to everyone else

In my room in the quiet hours

I can wear my ill fitting skirts

Stretch the two tops I own over the body i hate

So I can pretend I’m the hottest girl alive

Sometimes the lie works

Sometimes it didn’t

Mostly it doesn’t

I’m not very good at lying anymore

Yearbook signatures make me feel more real

Promises of friendship

Of love

You’ll never know how much you mean to me

It’s not love

More obsession

Not with you but with the idea of you

A concept of who I want to be 

A caricature to stretch over me

I want to ask you how you do it 

How you be everything I want to be

Dream to be

Knobby knees

Oh god the knobby knees

The hair

The bangs

The eyes

The smile

Deficiency isn’t enough

Dried up succulents 

stalks shattered are the only mark you left on my life

I hope they never die

Even if I do

Vanilla pods were all I sought:

You never understood my greatest wish of all

To smell like vanilla pods in the midnight air

To lay back arched in the sunlight as it leeched into my skin

To be laid bare to the world and seen without the disgust I felt

To find friends amongst the grapevines

To talk to bees

Point at ravens in the trees

You never understood the beauty I craved

But you bought me skirts

And said that was good enough

And now I’m afraid to be me

Even if I bled even if I died:

I met you before I existed

Before I knew something was wrong

And you turned me into something you felt like you could love

I started to believe I could love that too

Still I remained foreign even to myself

The problem was I loved you too much

Yet also not enough

But the problem was that I wasn’t enough for you

Even if I bled

Even if I died

Sacrificed all but the breath in my lungs

It still wasn’t enough

I wasn’t enough

I acknowledge that

I apologize for that

But you left

And now I don’t exist anymore

Maybe I never really did

You made feel feel desired for the first time ever

And then took it all away

And so I scrambled I fell grasping at the open air

And now I’ve hit the bottom of the canyon

Not quite dead

not quite breathing

maybe drowning

My spine shattered against the battered boulders

It’s quiet down here though

It was never quiet with you

Fuck you

I wish you never wanted to fuck me

I wish I didn’t have to keep breaking myself for you

Until I was a handful of shattered glass under your foot

The times I saved you from suicide every night

Matter not now

I tried to forget about them

About you

But I can’t

So fuck you

I can’t save you

And I shouldn’t have had to

I wish you didn’t fuck me

I hate that you wanted to touch me

I’m scared now

That no one will want to touch me

Because you’re the only one who did

And your touch sunk deep

I can still feel it sometimes

Even when I don’t want to

Rarely when I do

I hope you disappear into the back of my mind

Somewhere I don’t venture often

That’s where you belong

Far away from me

I’m happier here

And worse

But better every day I don’t think of you

I wish you didn’t look at me that way

I wish you didn’t speak to me that way

I wish you didn’t hurt me that way

I wish you didn’t paint me that way

I hope you forget about me

I hope I forget about you

But I know I won’t

I still wear the necklace

The star

The branches around my neck

It feels wrong to take it off

And feels wrong to leave it on

So I just try to forget it’s there

Forget how the rope flows arcross the valleys of my sunken collarbones

Forget how you looked at it

At them

At me

Try to forget the pattern

The late nights

The mistakes

The regrets

The firsts

The lasts

You made me into a lady didn’t you

And now I hate her and love her at the same time

Womanhood makes me sick

Because of you

And the way you looked at me

You call me sexy

You call me pretty

You call me kind

I call you worthy of love

You ask if you’re using me

I lie

It feels good to be desired

It doesn’t feel good anymore though

Now it makes me sick

I don’t want to be seen

But I can’t live without the perception of others

All because of you

And your yellow teeth

I miss then

I think more than anything else

Those teeth

With their spots

Brilliant white

My eyes were always drawn to them

But they’re gone now

And so are you

And I think I’m glad

I was your dog

And now

You left me

Bleeding and rabid

Without a bullet in my brain

Fuck you

I wish you would stop looking at me

But I keep seeing you

I keep feeling you

And it makes me sick

Sicker than it should

I can’t tell if I’m angry or honest

You don’t deserve this

You might deserve worse

I’m sorry I wasn’t enough

I’m sorry I was crazy

In my defense I think you might’ve driven me insane

But you’ll never know that

Because I’ll never tell you

I’ll never look at you

Because if I do

 I’ll be right back where I started

A shadow in a dress

Fetishized

Ostracized

And left to sit in the rain

And pretend I’m crying

Because you took that too

I miss when you loved me but I’m happy you don’t anymore

I don’t think I’m strong enough for that anymore

Easier this way:

You were perfect

I was better at lying to myself than you were at lying to me

Your eyes left cuts where I can’t reach them

Can’t bandage them

Can’t heal them

So I pretend they don’t exist

Just like you

It doesn’t work very well

But it was worth a try

I’m not a poet

You made sure I knew that

You made sure I knew that I was supposed to fuck you until you didn’t want to die anymore

But somewhere along the way you got rid of whatever was left of myself

I didn’t need to know these things about myself

I did it think I ever would

But you made sure I won’t forget

So please stay away

I’m too fragile your your voice

Even more for your silence

You took all my love away and I’m glad you did

It’s easier this way

A most familiar feeling:

How long did you love the sex more than me

How long was your favorite part of me the one I hated the most

How have you been

I don’t want to know anymore but

I know I’ll know again someday

You’ll find me

No matter where I hide

Quick to criticize quicker to change me

Quicker yet to leave

I’m glad you’re gone

I can pick up the pieces that are left

Delete what I wrote for you

Forget you ever happened to me

Walk away until I know you’ll never chase me

Hate what you used to love about me

Start to hate everything about you

I’m surprised I didn’t sooner

How was I ever happy when you looked at me

I’ll change my voice

Change my eyes

Sand off my face

And run until my feet fall off

Become so unrecognizable that even I feel foreign to myself

Which admittedly is the most familiar of feelings

If I replace every organ

Claw at my skin

Until I know you’ve never touched it

Will I be ok

Hate me more:

You’d probably hate who I’m becoming now

Which brings me comfort

Every moment that passes

You will hate me more

But I’m just glad

That you don’t love me anymore

Because that felt so much worse

Cleanliness my god:

I wish I could stop writing about you

I wish I could stop thinking of you

You taught me to love things I should hate

And now I feel wrong

I don’t write love poems anymore

I did once

You ignored them

You hated them

You didn’t say it out loud but I could see it in your eyes

You didn’t read them

You suffered through the ones I read to you

I know they weren’t good

But I loved you

That should’ve been good enough

You loved what was under my ill fitting skirts the parts of myself I tried the hardest to hide

Cleanliness is godliness and you had no god

Cleanliness became my god

And you became my satan

I liked it at first

Then you liked it too much

It became all I was good for

All you wanted

It felt good to be desired I guess

But it felt worse to be looked at in that way

Eyes blazing with something that scared me

An emotion that felt foreign to me

That always had

And so I waited

And hid

For it to be over

For you to love me

But instead I held you

Comforted you for hours

So that you could do it again

And again

When I just wanted to be loved

Girlhood sinkhole:

You made me a woman

While I was still trying to just be a girl

And now I don’t know who I am anymore

A familiar feeling

A sinkhole

A place I want to leave

Strawberry nose:

I’m tired of strawberry nose

Doomscroll

Lost submersible

Tired of staring at your eyes praying to see anything but disgust reflected back at me

Tired of being the only person in the world

Who hates me this much

More than I probably deserve

More than I’ve probably earned

Tired of being hard to love

Easy to shove

Bent and broken and caved in

Shattered to pieces and glued back together  again

I should probably go to sleep but I can’t

Tired of being incapable inconsiderate inconsequential

Just really fucking tired

Goodnight I hope

Strawberry nose

Ripped clothes

Bare toes unpainted

But I wish they were

A deep red a pitch black

Something a little more human

I wish I could love in a way that’s acceptable

To you

To me

That feels like it isn’t killing me too

Mending:

Sick of living 

Sick of healing 

Sick of apologizing

Of changing

Of admitting

You’re so pretty i could cry

The kind of beauty that seems unattainable

Foreign even

Otherworldly

How do you do it

I’ll ask myself that question for a very long time

There’s a pile of clothes on my floor that need mending

They have holes and tears that need patches and stitches

I’ll get to them eventually

You ripped my fishnets

I can’t mend those

You ruined me you know

Ruined my clothes

Ruined my body

Ruined my mind

But i’m still here

And i intend to stay that way

Summer after high school:

Screaming 

Crying

Songs about 9/11

Late nights

Regrets

Changes

Summer after high school

Almost lost all my friends

Changing myself everyday

It’s exhausting

Is this what happiness feels like?

Reckless driving

Check engine light

Second job

Nightmares

Death

And after all of it

Rebirth

The drowning man

The big yard sale

Goals ambitions

And bugs

Box hair dye

Wishing I could cry

Early mornings

Take my meds

Hope it gets better again

It’s better without you i think

Learning how to exist alone

Is the hardest thing i’ve done 

Until tomorrow

Then that will change too

No one will hate you more than you already do

Sufjan Stevens

Girls

So many girls

To kiss to be

To love to hold

To run from

To hide

Wondering what a sunburn feels like 

New bedsheets that don’t quite fit right

Dread, love, and fear

New posters, old eyeliner

Scared of flying 

Scared of dying 

Cards on my wall

Wishing me well

Broken CD player

Broken spirit

Is this it?

What stains the heart:

Work shirts

Grease stains

Grease stains the heart too you know

So does blood

And loss

I bought white eyeliner from a vending machine

Used it once

Now it’s in my drawer

Shirtless pictures on a digital camera

Are all  I have left

Therapy appointments and soft blankets keep me going

So do you

More as an act of revenge at this point

Slow revenge

Metamorphosis

Like kafka

I doubt you’ve ever read kafka

Walk in the park play on the swings

I wish I could write horny poetry

Boygenius lyrics:

I feel platonic love in a way that scares me 

I’m nothing without my friends

It scares others too

I think we’re all just a bit scared

Boygenius lyrics

Kissing on stage

Devotion and love

I know i’m broken

But please let me love you

You make me a bit less frightened

You all do

Homoerotic swimsuit shopping 

Loving too much

And sometimes not enough

I know i’m not easy to love

But please let me love you

Hearts in texts and hugs with eyes

I promise i like being touched

I just don’t want to burden you

Road trips and letters sitting on our phones

Panic attacks and loving arms

Even when they’re by your side

Hand tattoos and weed 

I think that’s what my future holds

I hope yours holds all that and oh so much more

You deserve the world 

I’m sorry if I love you too much

It’s just that you stayed

Will you still be here when I'm 27?

Even the little things:

Poetry so bad 

it might as well be a word association game 

Unused mascara

Tight underwear

Nothing fits right and I don’t think it ever will

Water droplets across my skin

The second hour in the shower

Remind me who i’m supposed to be

Dead black rotting skin

As i become more sunken in

I’ve lost everything that brings me joy

Even the little things

It might be different tomorrow 

But tonight

In this moment an hour before the stars

With the wrong clothes

At the wrong time

It’s all gone

I’m sunken in

And i think this is it

No more weird little loves

No more loving till it hurts

Just empty

Poured out over the concrete 

Tricking into the sewer drain

For the long journey home

I’ve scared them all away 

and I don’t think they’re coming back

And for once 

I don’t blame them

I’ve accepted it now

I’d let you touch me:

Broken computer screen

Broken cash machine

Dried up plants i’ve ignored for far too long

I’m sorry you didn’t deserve this

Spider in a jar

Friends from afar

Unloveable self in the mirror

Ruined myself again for you

Trying really hard to make you see

That i’d let you touch me

If you wanted to

But i doubt you do

And I don’t blame you

I don’t want to either

But i’m stuck in this skin

Try as I might

Glimpses of the stars

On the walk from my car

Before I disappear

New septum piercing didn’t stop you from leaving

And I don’t blame you anymore

I’m glad you left

But i would’ve let you touch me

If you wanted to

What’s left of my heart:

You can fuck me till i fall apart 

Rip out what’s left of my heart

Pull my lungs out my ears

And my brain out my nose

You can have anything of me you want my darling

My books

My eyes

My touch

My love

Apologies for the ages

I’ll make you a playlist even if I don’t love you

Not because I don’t want to 

But because I think i lost the strength to love you a long time ago

It’s nothing personal

I’d give everything to be able to love you

To know you

To blush when you look at me

I’ll try my best i’ll buy you flowers

Kiss your face

Stay up late

But I can only pretend for so long 

that this isn’t just because I can’t be left alone

I’d treat you right 

We’d never fight

But I know i’m not enough

And i think that’s ok

Made to love you:

She says she likes her nose

and god I wish I liked mine too

In the exact same way she does

A girl who likes her nose

Panic attacks in my bed sheets

Wishing for a loving embrace

You can use me if you want

Just don’t make me go away

Clenched jaws I never notice until they start to hurt

Can’t seem to let them go

Thought I was getting better

Now I know I was wrong

Weighted blanket isn’t enough

Need your embrace

Anyone’s embrace

Need you to touch me

Need you to want to touch me

Need anyone to want to touch me

Motorcycle rumblings signal my end

And as much of me wants to run

Also wants to embrace it

Made to love you

Made to love anyone

Please look at me with kind eyes

And I will worship the ground you walk upon for as long as you let me

And just a little bit more after that

Stay on the plateau with me:

Everyone else is loved and fucked and touched and desired

Everyone else feels love in their hearts and tears in their eyes

There is an unspoken loneliness in losing your will to cry

To cry to love to hold to cherish

Screams of female rage or heartbroken sobs that shake the earth you walk on are but

A pipe dream

Why oh why would you ever wish to leave this plateau

Sweetness is sickness

And sickness is heartbreak

Heartbreak is loss

And loss is death

So why not skip it all

Watch the sunset from the plateau

Overheat 

All alone

Love yourself like no one can

Stare into the river and wonder what color the rocks at the bottom are

Drive past the bar where you might ruin your life

In a year or two

Do drugs alone in your room and pretend you’re more

More than you ever will be

More than you’ve ever been

Wonder when your friends will stop loving you

If it hasn’t happened already

Write poetry for sad girls who are so much more like you than yourself

Hide in a masquerade

Remember who you were 3 years ago

Then forget everything and everyone you ever where

Almond soap blues

Be too quiet

Make too much noise

Be restless

Be tired

But never forget who you are

Tiptoes and sad girls

Mothers who stare at me

But oh to be loved

To be desired will always be immortality

Oh to be perceived

The girl I want to be:

To see her knees peeking out from under that dress when she crouches

Inspecting bugs under a rock

Sticks and leaves in her hair

Bags full of old melon rinds 

Faded stick and poke tattoos from someone she once knew

This is the girl I want to be

Bewitched eyes

Impressive doc martens collection

Big beetle purse

Frilly socks, can’t read a clock

Because she’s never had to

Old tattered hat, white flower dress

Band aids and perfume

This is the girl I want to be

Cries in secret

Loves in public

Galaxy eyes with the universe inside

Thrifted button downs 

Gray sports bra 

Kills all her plants but loves them so

Pleasure to have in class

Life of the party

Reads alone in the garden 

This is the girl I want to be

But i’m not and I don’t know if i’ll ever be

So i’ll keep dreaming

Keep weeping

Keep praying

Keep waiting

For the girl i’m meant to be

[todoscript]

𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐢𝐭

anonymous requested: 5 angst bakugou + 2 fluff hawks please (Keep up the great work, you always have my support!)

prompt for milestone event: “Forget it, you’re a fucking asshole.” genre: angst. pairing: bakugou katsuki x fem!reader word count: 1.2k+ warnings: cursing. bakugou is the asshole.

author’s note: much appreciation anon! i’ll write the hawks request on a separate post and add the link here when i’m done!

At this very moment, you are positively 99.9% sure you’re going to kill Bakugou Katsuki.

You’re angrily tapping your heels up and down the streets, right across from the local Chinese restaurant you had just so abruptly left after waiting at the table for a good two hours for your supposed date to arrive.

While you sat there—a cup of ice water served to you by the handsome waiter you were almost tempted to ask to fill in for the empty space—you rang calls for the blonde about ten times. All of which immediately directed you to voicemail, where you had to listen to Bakugou’s voice bluntly command to you to “leave a fucking message after the tone.” Eventually, your patience thinned and you stomped out of the establishment, not caring about the strange looks pointed at you by its patrons.

Your next destination? The Heights Alliance dormitories, where you’re sure your “date” is lounging around right now with no idea he even stood you up.

“Where is he?” you vehemently ask the very first person you lay eyes on when you set foot in the dorms. Which, to their misfortune, is Kaminari Denki.

“Where is.. who?” Kaminari knits his brows together when answering your question with another, his face a mixture of confusion and concern at your furious attitude. The delay only brings more anger on your face.

“Bakugou fucking Katsuki, that’s who!” You want to scream out your frustration, but knowing you’re in the common room right now reduces your words to a hiss.

“Oh hey, Y/n! You’re back already?” Mina jumps into the conversation after hearing your voice from the kitchen. She’s quickly by your side, gleeful and ready to hear all the juicy details about your day.

“How’d the date go?”

“Didn’t even show up,” you grumble, sadness washing on your features in that instance before it’s replaced by your temper again.

“Aw man, don’t tell me Bakugou was the one that stood you up!” Kaminari groans, his remorse for you conveyed in his voice. “Y’know, if I were the one going on that date with you, I would have never stood you up— Ow!” Kaminari cringes at the elbow jabbing into his side, courtesy of Mina, who rolls her eyes.

“Not the time, Kaminari,” she murmurs, and Kaminari looks up, immediately witnessing the pressure surrounding you that grows by the second. He’s quick to get back to the point.

“Uh, right… Bakugou’s up in his room helping Kirishi—”

You don’t stick around to listen to the rest of his sentence, already attaining the information you need to go and give Bakugou Katsuki a piece of your fucking mind.

That’s all you can think about as your frustration gathers inside you like an impending tornado during your ride up the elevator to the fourth floor. When you make a landing, you trudge to the front of Bakugou’s door, and without hesitation, pound your knuckles against it. About three furious knocks later, you hear a rustle and feet descending to the floor, with each step seeming more annoyed than the last, though nowhere near your level at the moment.

“What do you want? I thought I told everyone I was teaching—” Bakugou starts hostilely, eyes closed from the very moment he opens the door, but immediately goes quiet when he sees it’s not just any other extra from his class. It’s you.

“Y/n?” he says, surprised, and a disdainful smile shows on your lips.

“Surprised to see me? Well, you shouldn’t be.” You cross your arms, leaning forward as your voice rises. “We were supposed to meet today for our date, Katsuki.”

Bakugou quirks a brow, almost like he doesn’t believe your claims, and practically snarls back, “Hah? What fucking date?”

“The one at the Chinese restaurant you recommended because they had all that spicy food you like so damn much!”

“The hell? If I had made plans for a date, then I wouldn’t be tutoring Shitty Hair right now.”

“You can’t be serious, right? Organizing a study session with Kirishima when we already had arrangements today?”

“Shouldn’t be a problem since we never made any of those arrangements to begin with!”

Your patience, long since thrown out the window already, finally takes a nosedive into the ground as you feel fumes puff from your ears, watching the blonde’s expression go unchanged. How has it is not clicked in his thick skull yet?

“Fine. You know what? Forget it, you’re a fucking asshole,” you quip at him, finally deciding to put a lid over your boiling pot of anger and tell yourself it isn’t worth your time bickering back and forth with a brick wall. Inconsiderate asshole.

“Enjoy your study date with Kirishima then. I’ll ask Kaminari or even the cute guy from the restaurant to take me next time, ’kay? Good-bye.”

With that, you stomp back to the elevator without so much as casting Bakugou a second glance, while he stares at you perplexed from his door frame, wondering what the hell just happened.

“What the? Y/n, I—” He attempts to reach out for you, but you make a point not to acknowledge him. So he scoffs and shuts his door, returning to his red-haired friend who gives him a bewildered look when the blonde retakes his seat next to him.

“Wasn’t that Y/n?”

“Yeah, who else would it be?” Bakugou replies crudely, looking over Kirishima’s shoulder and mutters that his solution is wrong.

“Well shouldn’t you go talk to her? She seemed pretty mad,” Kirishima advises as he rubs his eraser over his incorrect work.

“Why should I? She comes to my room, starts banging on the door while we’re studying, and accuses me of forgetting some date we didn’t even plan today!” His voice escalates into that short-tempered tone of his, resting his elbow on the desk.

“It’s not my job to worry about every little thing with her, especially about something that never even existed. And besides, you need me if you want to pass that big fucking exam next week.”

Kirishima rubs his head. “Well… yeah, but I think you should still apologize for the misunderstanding and clear things up at least.”

As Bakugou opens his mouth to reply, he hears his phone ding and looks down to see the screen lighting up. He lifts the device, continuing, “Well, if anyone should be apologizing, it should be—”

Bakugou’s words are left unspoken when his eyes scan across the screen. They gradually widen at sight; every word he reads drops a revelation on him that makes his heart heavy. Then in the next second, he’s suddenly spewing curses from his mouth, feet on the move, and dashing out of his room with the door hanging open.

“Shit, shit—”

Kirishima, left behind with his unfinished homework, is even more confused than when he started, shouting out questions to Bakugou about where he’s going until he gets an answer glancing down. He spots Bakugou’s phone plopped down on his desk, remaining lit up from the very moment he discovered what laid on the screen for him. Kirishima cranes his head, and out of curiosity, reads the pinged notification himself.

REMINDER: date with Y/n @ Bazoku Chinese Restaurant this afternoon. DON’T FORGET IT.

[falcor-thee-luck-dragon]

Forgive, But First Fun - Nandor x f(vampire) reader

Summary: After getting left behind to fight off a pack of werewolves on your own, now mad at Nandor, you and Nadja have decided a little night out couldn’t hurt.

Warning: slight angst, fluff, fun times, and a tiny smut mention

Masterlist

Trudging angrily through the manors wooden doors, face stern and almost scary enough to put the fear of God into anyone. Your boots stomp into the large opening and onto the wooden floor boards as Gullimero, Nandor, and the documentary crew follow you in.

Your cloak is ripped and dirty as it lays in a pathetic black heap of cloth in Gullimero’s arms, your hair not looking any better, not to mention your face and arms that have various cuts paired with grass smudge marks adoring your skin. All in all you look like a hot mess.

“What the fuck happened to you lot? You’ve been gone all night.” Questions Laszlo as he walks into view from out of one of the hallways, his eyes scanning over a perfectly clean and handsome Nandor, then over to the dirty crew and disheveled Guillermo who’s got some leaves stuck to his hair.

“I don’t know.” You snap sarcastically, “How about you ask Mr. Dodgy-shit-stick over there.” Referring to Nandor who’s looking anywhere but you, keeping as silent as ever.

Gullimero looks between you and Nandor, then back at a confused Laszlo. “Oh, um they’re not speaking to each other right now.”

“And why the fuck not?”

Guillermo sighs before leaning towards Laszlo, “Nandor wanted to graffiti where the werewolves live and Y/N said he’d get caught and then Nandor said no I won’t and then he did.”

Laszlo raises a curious brow, “That’s it?”

“Oh, um....” Guillermo awkwardly scratches the back of his neck, suddenly pulling off a green leaf, “then they chased us to the park and when the pack closed in on us Nandor turned into a bat and left us behind so Y/N had to fight one of them off so we could escape and now we’re here.”

“Well that sounds rather exciting.”

“Not at the time.” Whispers Guillermo to no one in particular as he glances over at the camera.

“Huh,” Mutters Laszlo thoughtfully, scratching his beard as he thinks of how to help this situation, “well if you two dingbats aren’t talking to one another I believe Nadja needs you Y/N. Something about....well actually I’m not entirely sure.”

Perking up ever so slightly at this positive news, you cross your arms over your chest defiantly, “Well since someone does, I’ll be going then.” You grumble with a low growl at your Nandor who’s refusing to make eye contact while he stares frustrated at the floor.

Nodding in acknowledgment, Laszlo watches you stomp angrily up the steps before turning his head over to Nandor who’s now watching you leave with big sad eyes.

“Alright why’d you do it?” Interrogates Laszlo with a raised brow.

“Do whaaat?” Replies Nandor defensively, his once high and mighty aurora reappearing in an instant.

Rolling his eyes, Laszlo sets a hand on his hip sassily, “Well I sure as hell don’t want an angry Y/N wandering around this old place for the next however the fuck it takes you both to make up....in however fashion that may be. So I ask again, why’d you puss out and flee like a mangy opossum?”

Pursing his lips together in apprehensive embarrassment, Nandor mutters to himself before finally crossing his arms over his broad chest and sighing, “Because......I....I don’t know I panicked!” Exclaims the large vampire, causing Laszlo to start laughing. “Why are you laughing?”

Wiping a fake tear from his eye, Laszlo lets out a few more chuckles before finally composing himself, “My good man that is the second saddest thing I’ve ever heard. The first being when one of my many victims offered me one of their rare and exclusive Poki-muns card which I still have no idea what the fuck they were on about. Anyways, doesn’t matter, all I’ll tell is that you better make it up to her.”

“But she’s scary when she’s angryyy.” Whines Nandor with a frown.

“That’s all women my young pup, but since your lovely lady is a vampire she’s more dangerous.” He says while giving Nandor a kind pat on the back, “So uh, stay safe out there.” Adds Laszlo before turning and walking down the hallway leaving Nandor with his thoughts, Gullimero, and the documentary’s camera crew.

“What are you all looking at!” Snaps Nandor to the rest of the room.

——

“Oh my goodnessess that’s awful, my poor dark angel.” Soothes Nadja as you take a moment from your long and needed rant about the adventures in the park and Nandor’s cowardly stupidity. “That big hairy rhino doesn’t deserve you Y/N.” She reasons honestly, doing her best to make you feel better, knowing all to well the level of competent decision making skills of the other two vampires in the house.

“I know.” You mutter in agreement, your body tense and agitated as you pace back and forth in front of her as she sits in a chair, “Fucking beautiful idiot prick horse-fart of a husband. Urgghhh!” You proclaim loudly while throwing your hands into the air angrily, causing the furniture in the room to screech backwards across the old flooring at your outburst of vampiric energy. Nadja’s long obsidian hair blowing backwards as you do so while she keeps seated, unflinching.

Face softening, she gives you a sympathetic smile, “Oh my lovely fierce lioness, I know exactly what will make that sad little frown turn into a happy one.” Beams Nadja with an excited clap of her hands.

Hugging your sides, you let out a frustrated huff before giving your old friend a shrug, “What do you have in mind?”

——

“So we’re at the carnival!” Claps Nadja in delight as she smiles at the camera, “This will hopefully relieve Y/N’s pent up angers and keep her mind off of Nandor.....for now.” She adds a bit uncertainly.

“HA HA take that fuckers!” You shout joyfully from behind her, the camera panning over to you at the ball toss where you’ve been knocking down plastic bottles with a rubber ball. The stall owner cowering in the corner as he shields himself with a stuffed zebra.

The camera focuses back on Nadja, “I think it’s going really well so far.” She confirms with a convincing grin. “Relieving all that..uh....rage.” 

After winning a stuffed snake taller then you and deciding to wear it as a strange fashionable scarf, you and Nadja are wandering the carnivals streets while people watching to pass the time.

“So that’s why I never walk on the roof after 3am when I’ve had homeless man’s blood.” Rambles Nadja as your thoughts about Nandor come trickling down into your brain and nose. Huh, strange, must be cause you’re still wearing a thin red scarf of his.

No, stop thinking about him.

“Good lesson learned then,” You add with the flash of a smile before nudging her shoulder gently, “hey you wanna watch me win you something cool?”

Perking up in an instant, Nadja smiles a devilish fangy grin as she stops to eye up the multiple game stalls, “Why I would be delighted my dear Y/N, how about....um, oooh I want that giant tropical fishy with the long whiskers over there.” Points Nadja as your eyes travel over to the game stall with the large prizes.

It’s a game that requires the individual to shoot an arrow directly on three different sized bullseye’s stationed at various heights. Smiling like an idiot, you nudge your vampiric acquaintance in agreement, the both of you quickly swaggering over to the carnival game and it’s plush flashy prizes just screaming to be won.

“Hello good sir, my skilled roommate Y/N here is going to win me that fish.” Beams Nadja proudly as the teenager jumps off his chair to greet the two of you.

He smells like weed but surprisingly looks decent all things considered, “Uh yeah alright, two bucks for three arrows, hit every target directly on the middle red mark and if you make it on the bonus poster on the far back wall then you’ll have a chance to win that fish, good luck.” Mumbles the kid unenthusiastically as you slide him the cash.

Picking up the shitty yet still functional carnival bow, you give Nadja a wink before fitting an arrow in the nock and pulling back, lining up the shot and releasing directly into the first target to the left. Smirking to yourself you quickly draw again, hitting your second mark just as intended. Pays to be a skilled archer huh.

“Damn that’s pretty good aim.” Nods the teen as he watches in awe as you fit another arrow, releasing and punching a hole in the middle of the third target.

Nadja claps in excitement from behind you, “Yes! Win me that colorful fat bitch my feisty lioness!”

Standing like a warrior ready for battle with your bow in hand and wind blowing in your face, the kid almost drops the arrow he hands you for the winning shot as he practically swoons.

“Get those scissors ready, that fish is mine.” You growl in determination while picturing Nandor’s head as the final target, drawing back, you let the arrow fly straight into the bonus target. Winning Nadja her giant fish plushy.

“Yessss!” Shouts Nadja in delight as you drop the bow onto the table like a bad bitch before eyeing up the kid with a raised brow, “We’ll be taking the fish now.”

Wide eyed he almost falls off his chair, “Wait um, that’s the last one...I didn’t think, uh, my boss doesn’t want me to give away those ones.” He stutters out.

“What!” Snaps Nadja, “Then why are they just hanging there? You lied to us you little shit!”

“I’m sorry.” He pleads apologetically, “That’s what my boss told me. And no one ever wins the big prizes anyway so I didn’t think...”

“Well your boss he can eat a big horse turd cause I’m taking that fish.” You growl before jumping up and unhooking the fish from its perch above your heads, handing it to a practically glowing with joy Nadja who immediately hugs the thing.

Sticking your tongue out at the teen, you and Nadja turn to leave before a boney hand is suddenly on your shoulder, twisting around in an agitated instant, your face is mere inches from the wide eyed boy as he attempts to look even a tad bit threatening.

“No.” Is the only thing that slips from your tongue before your hand shoves him back, his whole body going air bound into the back of the carnival tent while the kid lets out a panicked scream.

“Ooooh Y/N that was very sexy of you.” Smirks Nadja while wiggling her dark brows, “Too bad a certain cowardly lion wasn’t here to see it.”

Petting the stuffed toy snake around your neck absentmindedly, you smile back a fangy grin, “Yes. Too bad.”

Continuing on your late night stroll through the carnival you both pass by random strangers, families, elders, children, and lovers all minding their sweet business completely unawares to the dark supernatural world walking right past them.

Although you’re quite enjoying this time spent with your best friend in the whole wide world, a low dull feeling of emptiness can’t help but creep into your undead being the more you catch sight of new and old couples walking together.

Sensing your growing sadness, Nadja nudges your shoulder playfully to gain your distracted attention, “Hello in there my black rose, what is on your mind?”

Holding the snake close to your body, a small smile creeps its way onto your face knowing she’s looking out for you, though it’s gone soon enough, “Oh you know....uh....blood.” You mutter unenthusiastically, trying to keep your thoughts away from Nandor and how much you miss him right now.

“Blood is it? But we just fed before attending the carnival.” Inquires Nadja in confusion as she keeps a normal pace at your side while the two of you follow the sidewalk past various shops and restaurants. “What is actually plaguing your mind my dear one?” She wonders with a frown, not keen on seeing you upset and in a grey mood.

Biting your lip anxiously, though not hard enough to draw blood, you walk past a couple more people before your eyes catch the sight of a small black bat disappearing behind a corner building just up ahead.

Squinting your eyes, your nose suddenly catches the scent of someone very familiar, “Nandor?”

Turning her head to face you, Nadja’s brows furrow in puzzlement, “What? No my sweet hurricane, forget that mangy old bear he’s not important right now.” Urges Nadja as she looks forward, suddenly surprised to catch a glimpse of someone who looks a lot like Guillermo racing behind the same corner you saw the bat fly behind. “Okay um what the fuck? Did you see that too?”

Glancing at Nadja you nod before quickening your steps as she does the same, her skirts flowing as she tries to catch up with you, though you’re much faster and with lack of annoying dress material, “Wait! You’re too fast.” Yelps Nadja.

Ignoring her protests you book it down the sidewalk like a maniac, almost running into a jogger before skidding round the corner of the brick building and coming face to face with a wide eyed Guillermo who gasps in surprise. Nudging him to the side, your eyes immediately fall upon the nervous fangy grin of your Nandor.

He gives you a shy little wave before shuffling awkwardly in place, awaiting your rampage of verbal and possibly physical assault that he’s certain is in the near future.

Taking a deep breath, you cross your arms over your chest defensively, “Were you following me?”

“Um, well.....I might have been....but only to make sure you were okay.” Mutters Nandor honestly, eyes shifting from you to the ground nervously as he awaits your wrath.

Pursing your lips together in thought, you shake your head before taking off the stuffed toy snake and holding it firmly in your hands. With a low growl do you grasp the snake in your right hand and hold it back like you might swing at any moment.

“You’re a fucking nincompoop you know that right?” Slips from your mouth without an once of anger lacing your words, instead do you hand the snake to Gullimero as Nandor watches in puzzled fear.

Taking a swift step forward, you point a finger into his strong chest while looking sternly up at him, “Racing off and leaving me too fight that angry bitch all by myself, and now following me when I needed a break from you! Nandor....... you’re something else.” You add with a shake of your head.

“Yes I know, and I’m sorry my love.” Smiles Nandor with saddened eyes, “I promise to keep you save from now on and fight off any werewolf who tries to hurt you....even if I am scared.”

Taking a step back, you can’t help the smirk that forms onto your face at his sweet words of forgiveness and sincerity. You know how much he fears werewolves and that he fled the scene thinking you were planning on following too, not realizing that you might actually give a shit about Gullimero’s and the crew’s lives.

“Oh my dear puff dragon,” You declare softly with a small smile, reaching both hands out to grasp his own, “I forgive you.”

Nandor’s face breaks out into the biggest and happiest grin you’ve seen since his last birthday when he walked into your shared crypt only to find you naked and holding a bushel of red roses while seated seductively on his coffin.

“Oh that’s fantastic because I was really missing you.” Reveals Nandor with a gentle squeeze of your hands. “Laszlo and Guillermo can’t make me laugh nearly as much as you can, they’re honestly rather boring.” He says before leaning in closer to whisper, “and not very attractive to look at either.” Causing you to crack another grin and your undead heart to fill with butterflies. 

Chuckling you reach up with one hand to pull his collar closer to you and a second later do your lips clash sweetly against one another in a heated moment of passion. He smiles into the kiss before moving to pull you in closer with both of his hands, one slipping low to cheekily pinch your round bottom.

Feeling him against you once again has to be the best sensation in the whole entirety of the world even if you’ve only been separated for a couple of hours. You absolutely love the way his fingers dig into your back and bum with an animalistic eagerness that’s slowly starting to drive you insane. Oh, the things he does to you.

Especially how his tongue slips into your mouth with ease while you tug at his hair long dark locks. “Y/N!” Suddenly shouts Nadja.

“Nandor!”

Begrudgingly pulling away, you turn around to face the confused lady vampire while Nandor hugs you from behind, happily smirking at her, knowing she can’t do anything to hurt him now. “Yes Nadja.” You answer.

With the fish plushy hung over her shoulder, her brows furrow in confusion, “What the fuck are you doing? I thought you were mad at him?”

“Yeah well, I was starting to really miss him and also I’m kind of horny now so.” You reply with a shrug as Nandor hugs you tighter, resting his bearded chin against your head while Nadja huffs in defeat.

“Alright. See you at home then.” Adds Nadja before turning towards Guillermo and shoving the giant carnival fish into his arms, “Hold this Gizmo I’m going home.” Then just like that she’s gone in a black wispy poof, flying away in bat form towards the vampire resistance on Staten Island.

“Okay then.” Mutters Gullimero as he looks up at the dark sky.

Feeling a wet kiss on the side of your face and neck you smile before turning around to face your dear husband, “Shall we take flight to seek out our bed chambers?” You speak slyly in a soft yet seductive voice.

“Yes.” Grins Nandor with a flash of lust and excitement before turning his attention over to Guillermo, “Hey Guillermo I’m leaving to make passionate love to my wife so don’t bother us or I will have a rat shit in your pillowcase. Okay?”

You giggle to yourself as Gullimero’s cheeks redden while he side eyes the camera, “Understood master. Have fun.” Squeaks out the loyal familiar as he stands there awkwardly with his hands full of two carnival prizes.

Nandor sneakily squeezes your bottom once more as he gives Gullimero a knowing smirk, “Oh, we will.” Then a second later you two are flying high above the city in bat form, ready to make love to your sweet Nandor for probably the twentieth time that week.

Down below the camera pans over to Gullimero as he blinks, “Well uh, I have these things now..” He says, holding up the fish, “and I am so not looking forward to cleaning up their mess.......again.”

[rudolphsboyfriend]

Hey yall i just wanma rant about people who make fun of other people with accents and how frkn harmful that is.

I have a kinda westernised accent. People ask me all the time if I'm American or if i lived in the US bcuz of my accent. Now since i have this "American" accent, speaking languages like Hindi and Tamil isn't that easy fr me, pronounciation wise. I never grew up speaking those languages and its been a conscious effort of mine to learn them. My accent is not as obvious as the typical "american speaking hindi" stereotype accent but it's there.

One time, i sang this hindi song fr one of my friends bcuz he really liked it and i was honestly rlly proud of it bcuz it was the first hindi song i actually like learnt and sang. I sent him the recording, and the first thing he says back is commenting on how my accent ruined the song. No comment on whether he liked it. No acknowledgement of me finally learning hindi songs after HE told me i should. Nothing. Just "oh god your accent is so strong you need to fix that" and it frkn hurt. Since that day, I haven't spoken to him in any language other than english, and i stopped singing hindi songs entirely because "oh god my accent is coming through isn't it". And thats a freakin shame, because hindi is a beautiful language and i wanna learn it, hindi songs are great and i wanna sing em. Same with Tamil. But nooooooo i have an accent and that "ruins" it. I should either learn to speak like everyone else who has been for their entire lives, or I shouldn't speak it at all. And that's a pretty shitty message to send out and it's REALLY demotivating.

And like, this is in India, where speaking English is normal and even necessary. Now imagine you speak some other language, and you're living in a country where English is the only official language, where your culture and your language are looked down upon. My problem is just a little ridicule from friends and classmates. It's valid but relatively small. Now imagine you're actively discriminated against, mocked maliciously, bullied because of your accent. That is honestly disgusting and sad.

This got pretty long but, point is. Making fun of accents can be really harmful, especially if the language in question is not their first language. So stop being an ass and stop doing that.

[creatingnikki]

What 2020 has taught me

1. Those things that seem like content for sci fi or pure fiction are actually things that can happen. To the entire world. Like a pandemic. And to you. Like a seizure.

2. Everyone is sad. Everyone is struggling. In different ways and in different measures. Makes no one special. But you still get to feel sad for yourself and be compassionate towards others. But it's also okay to draw boundaries because you're everyone too. Remember, not special? You're sad and trying to deal with it too.

3. Every job you have will not add value to your life. It will not teach you new things or give you people you'll want to stay in touch with. Sometimes some jobs will only be a season of your life. Even if the season lasts for over a year. It's okay.

4. You know how you thought picking a college and picking a major and picking your first job and picking a specific industry were all the career decisions you had to make? Yeah, no. It's never a one time thing. You could have a job as a marketing strategist for two years and then want nothing to do with it. And then you'll have to make another decision and work towards it. So I'd like to call it moves. It's like chess. You always have to make a move. And it always has to be strategic, yes. But the truth is in your 20s it probably won't. Even if you try. And as long as you're trying, you'll be fine.

5. You may have different sorts of friends like the one you only talk to about kdrama with or the one you met when you went book shopping alone and the friendship is all about books really. That's normal. But irrespective of why and how you became friends with them, if you consider them a friend then there has to be this basic sense of care, respect and empathy for each other. I don't care what people want to say. If you're faced with the worst trauma of your life, the least your friends can do is check up on you regularly. On text. And if they don't even do that then guess what? They aren't friends. They are acquaintances. Social media and quick promises make everyone seem like your friend. But they are not. They are just nice people who will be nice to you for specific periods and then wander away like you are a speck of dust floating in their journey.

6. You speak a lot and write and you express yourself and you’re emotionally mature but oh my god. You still hold in so much. You’ve known that at a subconscious level and over the last year people - experts - have told you that. You have also realized that you make your pain and sadness about pettier things because dealing with them, admitting about them, sharing that with your friends, is easier. You do that so that you don’t have to deal with the real stuff. Because it’s so damn painful. And you don’t know how to do it. Yet. Acknowledging is the first step anyway right? I know you’re confused about how exactly to let go of all this pain and sadness and feel lighter, and you know that talking to people really isn’t the solution, but I also know you’re smart enough to figure it out. 

7. Talking about being smart...you know you’re different than others. Better. Special. Smarter. None of these are the right words. And you never voiced this out until this year because you knew it would make you come across as narcissistic. Some would say it’s because you’re an INFJ. But my mother once said that this may be the first time we are consciously living life but our souls are old and so our instinct and the things we know but can’t explain are because this isn’t the first time for our souls. The connections we feel with certain people, the reason we are so different from our siblings who grew up in the exact same environment with the exact same opportunities, our sense of right and wrong...it’s all because our souls learn and grow with each time and that’s why we are who we are. I think that’s probably how I can explain what I have always felt. That I am living in a different universe than everybody but I have to pretend to be in this one and dumb my emotions and thoughts down. Maybe that’s because my soul has lived through thousands of years while most around me are living their 100th life. Or maybe I’m just narcissistic, who knows?

8. You shift between talking in first person and second person but that’s because that’s how you think in your head and talk to yourself and live your life. You ask yourself things and you accuse yourself of things and you apologize to yourself and you comfort yourself. I think that seeps into your writing and the changing of the voices. 

9. You always genuinely thought that you’d not be afraid of dying. And then what happened this October proved you shockingly wrong. I know it’s not so much being afraid of dying but the unbearable pain of knowing what that would mean to your family. So you have to be more prudent and less reckless with your life and the choices you make. 

10. Regret is not something that plagued you but this year the realisation and pain of giving away your favourite books from your own personal collection to people you care about as a show of affection and them turning out to be ass holes or losers has hit you so hard. So, yes. No more of that shit. I really fucking want my copy of The Perks Of Being A Wallflower back. UGH. With the childhood picture of me inside it! 

11. Sleeping at 5 am in the morning stops being fun or romanticised when you realise just how much harm it does to your body and mind. Literally every single disease and disorder can be traced back to a shitty fucking sleep schedule. It’s not just the hours you sleep but also the quality of sleep and the time you sleep at. So yes sleeping for 8 hours is healthy but not if that 8 hours is from 5 am to 12 pm. ‘Not a morning person’ is just another construct of capitalism and you don’t realise how many industries profit from having you believe that and staying up late or all night. Entertainment. Food. Alcohol. Pharma. Biologically and naturally you are a bloody morning person. And you don’t need 3 cups of coffee to begin your day or your phone notifications to get you to open your eyes and brain to wake up. 

12. Sometimes you really have to stop taking people so seriously. I know the idea of treating people as casual friends or entertainment makes you want to fight that concept but you know what? Some people like Pineapple are ever only going to be good for that. No matter how much they ‘grow and change’. So keep them in the background for whenever you want some entertainment or drama. But please don’t clear up your busy schedule to meet them or send them gifts on their birthday. 

13. If you don’t have the fruit juice or green juice within half an hour of making it then you are losing out on its most optimum health benefits. Or when you remove the white stringy stuff from oranges. That’s where all the actual nutrients are.

14. I am privileged and so are most of the people I interact with. The global pandemic has been hell for a lot of people around the world. Health wise. Financially. Losing people they care about. But I was blessed enough to be safe at home and have a job that I could smoothly do from home and not have a pay cut or 4-hour long Zoom meetings. So honestly when my friends tell me 2020 has been bad I have to stop and ask them why? Yes, the crippling uncertainty and anxiety is not something that can be undermined. But most people I know had very great positive life-changing milestones this year like moving away to another country for college or taking their first solo trip or getting married. So I have to ask them. Because I am not going to agree that everybody’s 2020 and pandemic narrative is the same. 

15. Money gets spent really quickly. When I left my job earlier this year because of personal issues, I thought I had enough savings to last me a year. Full disclosure - I mean to last my personal expenses because I live with my parents. But it didn’t even last me 3 months. And so to use money wisely and buy things that provide utility than instant gratification is something to follow. Also buying one pair of really expensive but quality shoes is better than buying 5 pairs of affordable but low quality shoes that will have a very short life and force you to buy more. I know that higher price doesn’t always mean better quality but sometimes it does. And as an adult now I want to do the whole quality > quantity thing even with things and not just people. 

16. Everyone in their 20s went through a crisis of what they should do with their lives and their careers and it’s not unique to the 21st century and the challenges of today. Whether it was Vincent Van Gogh in the 19th century or Sylvia Plath in the 20th, every single person, as brilliant as them went through the torture of making these decisions and living with their consequences. You may think I picked wrong examples for they both killed themselves but you know what? They were the people who really want to live more than anyone. They knew what life meant. And maybe if mental health help was more accessible back then their lives would be longer and more peaceful. 

17. Telling people everything is overrated. You don’t have to talk about every single thing that’s on your mind or that’s going on in your life. The good and the bad and the mediocre. You have to be mindful about how much of yourself you’re giving away. 

18. Re-watch Suits when people at work feel intimidating because the confidence + negotiation tactics that they show can actually work irl cos at the end of the day no matter in what position you’re dealing with people who have emotions and fears and insecurities and desires. You understand how to leverage that nobody can get the better of you. 

19. You belong to yourself. No matter how much you love someone or how much they have done for you or how much you owe them - you belong to yourself. You can’t live your life for someone else. Everyone belongs to themselves first. No relationship, no promise, no circumstance should make you feel like you have to give up your life and make it all about them. If and when the time comes to die for them, go ahead. Take a bullet. Donate that kidney. Write them in your will. But live your life for yourself. And let them live theirs. 

20. Twenty three was a challenging year. When it started you claimed the age 23 sounds boring and insignificant. Guess it proved you wrong. It hurt so much now. But that only means you’ll look back on it later and see how it added so much wisdom and resilience to your being. It doesn’t mean that it makes all the bad things that happened to you okay. Or that you should be grateful to them. Fuck no. It means that you should be kinder to yourself because at the end of the day, your mind and body find it in themselves to deal with whatever is thrown their way. They have your back. It’s time you learn to sit straight. 

[adsdragonlover]

You Matter To Me

Coda to 15x19

Wc: 2k, Tags: fluff, pie, happy ending, first kiss

Also on ao3

It’s been three weeks since they won, but Dean still isn’t happy.

He’s been driving around the country, searching for something he knows he won’t find. The thing he wants that he knows he can’t have. He lost his chance.

Eventually, he ends up at a diner.

Lulu’s Pies, it says in softly glowing neon cursive above the building.

The bell above the door chimes as Dean pushes it open and steps inside. It’s pleasantly warm compared to the cold night outside, but Dean still feels cold. At least on the inside.

He heads to the bar and sits down on one of the stools.

With a cursory and habitual glance around the diner, he realizes he’s the only one here. At least the only customer.

That makes sense, he supposes. It’s barely 3 AM and the diner is plopped in the middle of bumfuck nowhere. The only other signs of life in the area are the long winding road outside and the shitty old gas station a few miles back.

To be honest, Dean doesn’t quite know why he came here. Maybe he needed a break from the drive.

He wanted to get some pie - the place was literally named for its pies - but that was mainly out of habit rather than actual desire. It’s been hard to want any of the things he used to enjoy, not since…

He cuts off that train of thought with a scowl to himself.

The waitress, a sweet looking woman with long, wavy, dark blonde hair and deep blue eyes approaches Dean from the other side of the bar. “What can I get for you, sugar?” she asks with a warm voice, rich with a soft southern accent. It reminds him, inexplicably, of his mother.

“I-“ Dean stops. “I don’t know,” he admits quietly.

The waitress, Jenna, according to her name tag, smiles sympathetically. “That’s alright,” she says sweetly. “It can be hard to know what you want, especially when you lose someone dear to you.”

Dean frowns. “How did you-” He begins.

Jenna smiles sadly at Dean. “There are some things a mother just knows, and heartbreak is one of them.” Her eyes are understanding, and painfully blue - too close to Castiel’s eyes for comfort. Dean looks away. “You look like you could use a slice of pie,” she says, handing him a paper dessert menu, specifically made for this week. “They’re all made from scratch, and made from the heart. Take all the time you need, honey. I’ll be back with a cup of coffee for you, it’s on the house.”

Jenna’s words soothe something raw and stinging inside Dean, and he offers her a small smile as she heads back into the kitchen.

He looks over the menu with a tired sigh. Not too long ago, Dean would’ve killed to eat here. All the pies sound awesome, and something about the waitress makes it very clear she puts effort into her pies.

Still, his heart isn’t really in it.

When Jenna comes back with a mug of coffee and a smile, Dean nods thankfully, but shakes his head when she asks if he’s ready to order. “I just- I need more time,” he says.

He isn’t just talking about the food. Not anymore.

Jenna nods. “Just give me a call when you’re ready, hun,” and then she’s gone.

Dean isn’t really sure how long he sits there, staring blankly at the dessert menu, coffee warming up one of his hands, his soul feeling achingly empty.

He's snapped out of his stupor by the sound of the bell above the door chiming to indicate someone else entering.

Dean’s eyes are glued to the menu still, reading the blurb under Heartbreak Pie. It's a black bottomed cherry pie, and the picture stops him.

He hears footsteps walk over, but he ignores them. They come closer until the stranger sits down on the stool to the right of Dean.

Dean feels irritation flash through him briefly, the diner is completely empty, and Dean’s positive he’s radiating “leave me alone” vibes, but for some reason the stranger decides to sit next to him anyway.

The irritation is gone as fast as it appeared however, Dean just doesn’t have the energy. Not anymore.

A couple days after they’d won, after Jack had left and Sam had reunited with a newly brought back Eileen, Dean had broken down in the bunker.

He’d lost it a little, had cried and cried and cried for days. Begging and pleading and praying. But Cas hadn’t come back.

Not long after, the sadness had turned to anger. Anger at Cas, for making the deal in the first place. For loving Dean so much it killed him. For telling him and then leaving before Dean could say it back. Anger at Jack, for dying and causing the deal, for becoming God and not bringing Cas back, for leaving Dean just like Cas had, just like Sam.

But mostly, Dean had been angry with himself. For not saying it back when Cas told him, for just standing there, for being the reason Cas died, for being too stubborn and too scared to say anything sooner, back when he’d had the chance. He was angry at himself for not being everything that Cas apparently thought he was.

Those few days were fueled entirely by anger in Dean’s opinion. He knew, deep down, that the anger was caused by love, but he didn’t want to think about that. Because if Cas was right, if he was right about Dean then there really wasn’t any good reason why Dean had never said anything.

Those few days were fueled entirely by anger. He knew, deep down, that the anger was caused by love, but he didn’t want to think about that. Because if Cas was right, if he was right about Dean then there really wasn’t any good reason why Dean had never said anything.

Nowadays though, Dean just felt numb. He drives around in Baby with the hopes of bringing something back into his life, but nothing helps.

He almost missed it, he was so lost in thought, and he barely caught the tail end of Jenna asking the stranger what she could “-get for you, dear?”

“I’ll have a slice of cherry pie,” came the low and gravelly voice, and Dean’s heart stopped, “and a slice of apple pie for my friend here,” Castiel finished.

Dean could barely hear Jenna’s acknowledgement and departure over the sudden ringing in his ears and the unavoidable bloom of hope in his chest.

He wants to look over, he does. He wants to see for himself if it really is Cas. Or if he's finally going crazy. But he can't move. He's frozen in his spot.

And then Cas’ hand comes to rest on Dean’s shoulder, right where his handprint had been, both as a scar that was no longer there, and as a bloody stain on a jacket Dean kept in the trunk of the impala for safekeeping. That movement, that touch, it was undeniably Castiel, and it forced Dean into action.

He turns his head, and looks his best friend in the eyes for the first time in what feels like forever.

And it's Castiel. Undoubtedly. He has the same messy hair, the same stubble, the same beautiful blue eyes, same dirty trench coat, the same stubbornly crooked blue tie.

“Cas?” Dean croaks, voice wobbling, painfully close to cracking.

Castiel smiles softly and the sight of it brings endless relief to Dean. And when Cas responds with, “Yes. Hello, Dean.” The relief doubles until it floods over Dean so completely his hands begin to shake.

“Cas,” he starts, voice trembling almost as much as his hands. “I- you- how-?”

“Oh look, our pie,” Cas says, cutting Dean off as their slices of pie are placed down in front of them.

“Cas, listen-” Dean begins quietly.

“Dean,” Cas interrupts. “We’ll have plenty of time to talk, I promise. Just eat your pie.”

And maybe, some other time, Dean would’ve been worried, would’ve been suspicious over Cas’ clear redirection. But he isn't. Because Castiel’s eyes are earnest and honest.

And Dean suddenly understands. Cas doesn't want to talk about it yet. He doesn't know how Dean is going to respond. He wants to have this first, just a quiet, peaceful moment.

So Dean nods, and begins to eat his pie.

It is really good pie, especially a regular apple pie, and it's probably the best apple pie he’d had in years. Mentally, Dean decides to give Jenna a large tip.

He’s halfway through eating his pie when he can’t do it anymore. Not with the way he could feel Cas watching him contentedly, fondly.

“Cas, listen, I-”

“It’s alright, Dean,” Cas says, cutting him off again, but Dean can’t be mad at it. He just needs to keep going.

“No,” he says sternly, looking stubbornly down at his half-eaten slice of pie. “No, it’s not Cas. It’s not alright, and I need to say this.”

He looks back up at Cas and waits for his response. When Cas nods in understanding, Dean takes a deep breath. He closes his eyes to steady himself briefly before opening them back up and looking Cas in the eyes. “Cas, I love you,” Dean says quietly. “You gotta know I love you too.”

Cas’ eyes widen slightly before his expression softens to something so fond it would probably make Dean uncomfortable had it been coming from anyone else. “I know,” he says with a smile that’s almost a grin.

“You kno-?” Then Dean gets it. “Oh you little shit,” he laughs. “You did not know, you don’t get to Han Solo me, you asshat,” Dean says with a wide grin.

Cas chuckles and the sound warms Dean up from the inside out. “My apologies, Dean. It seemed fitting and I figured you’d appreciate it.” Cas ducks his head slightly, avoiding eye contact, though he’s still smiling.

“Hey,” Dean says, and he reaches out and grabs Cas’ hand. “There’s no need to apologize, man.” Dean’s grinning too, and, distantly, he figures he should probably make an effort to stop calling Cas “man��� and “buddy”, considering the fact that he’s in love with the stupid angel.

Cas’ smile widens and he looks back up, meeting Dean’s gaze as he turns his hand over and laces their fingers together almost hesitantly.

The flood of warmth the action brings Dean, as well as the hesitation in Cas’ eyes, brings Dean to squeeze their hands automatically, reassuringly.

All the hesitance in Cas’ expression melts away, and he practically beams at Dean. “You should finish your pie, Dean,” he suggests softly.

“So should you,” Dean points out.

Cas chuckles again and shakes his head. “It only tastes like molecules to me. I’ll get a to-go box for it and you can finish it for me later,” he says, and the ‘later’ in that sentence fills Dean with joy.

They aren’t over. There’s going to be a “later” for the two of them.

He grins at Cas and squeezes his hand before turning back to his delicious pie.

It’s after he finishes it that he gets an idea, and he grins. “Hey Cas, you wanna taste it? It’s pretty good.”

Castiel frowns and does his confused little head tilt that Dean has always secretly found unbearably cute. He realizes, suddenly, that he doesn’t have to keep that a secret anymore, and the thought makes him smile.

“Dean, I don’t understand,” Cas says slowly, “there isn’t any pie le-” and then the look on Dean’s face must sink in, because he cuts off with a slowly growing and a little shy smile. “...yes,” he says finally. “I would like a taste.”

“Good,” Dean says, and then he reaches over with both hands, wrapping one around Cas’ arm and cupping the back of his neck with the other as he pulls his angel into a kiss.

Castiel melts into it, and Dean feels a little like he’s glowing from the inside out, he’s so happy.

When they pull away, Dean is still grinning. “Well?” he says. “Did you like the taste?”

Cas is wearing a matching grin. “Hmmm,” he says with mock thoughtfulness. “I’m not sure, I think we should do it again, so I can have another taste.”

God, Dean is in love.

They meet again in the middle for another kiss.

Dean’s face almost hurts from smiling so much after such a long time of not smiling at all. And he knows, as they hold each other close in the pie diner, that they have the rest of their lives to spend together.

And Dean is happy.

Tag list! Ask to be added or removed!

@dreamnovak @tearsofgrace @bluebell-24 @rambleoncas

[miraculouscontent]

Didn’t Need Burrow (May 30th-July 5th)

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: Narrative basically ret-cons bad behavior of someone who isn't Marinette.

Oh yay! Alya V2!

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need Burrow to know that Mouse!Mylene will be called Multimouse.

I read somewhere that her name will be Polymouse but the source was broken.

Please be a mistake back when we saw the hero names and Mylene didn’t get her own name.

I’d also like to add a bonus that either Mylene gets named that without her consent (like someone calls her that), or Mylene names herself that without any knowledge of Multimouse!Marinette at all.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't need burrow: Assuming Luka×Zoe actually happens, there will be no build up whatsoever. In one episode, they just happen to get trapped together somewhere, talk for like ten seconds and start dating immediately afterwards. Basically the same as Alya×Nino bc none of the ships in this show (other than Lukanette and Adrigami) had any sort of meaningful developement before happening

A relationship beyond the love square getting development??? That’s cute.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't need burrow: Nino is gonna realize that Alya has the fox miraculous full time now and because of that he's gonna get pissy and so somehow Alya will be outta commission and Nino will be there so Marinette will give him a miraculous, Alya will probably say something encouraging about Nino, and then HE'LL get a full time miraculous to.

The only reason I don’t feel like this won’t happen is that it doesn’t direct anywhere near as much blame onto Marinette.

Anonymous asked:

Don't need burrow to know Chat will get angry at Ladybug and maybe Rena because Rena is now a permanent hero and he'll spend the day being a dick, but he'll be forced to work with Rena and realize things are good, but he'll only apologize to Rena.

Ladybug is just used to being chopped liver I assume.

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: Adrigami is restored, while Lukanette isn't.

Marinette will be too busy being forced by the narrative to continue caring about Adrien.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't need burrow, Su Han will only reappear at the end of the season and then disappear again.

“Hi, Su-Ha--oh, there he goes.”

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: Adrien decide to confess his secret identity as Chat Noir to Nathalie. She decide to don't tell him that his father is Hawkmoth (but also decide to don't tell Gabriel that his son is Chat Noir)

God, the Agreste drama intensifies. Kill me.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Marinette actually REJECTS Adrien after the identity reveal after it hits her all at once that HE did all the awful, questionable things Chat Noir did. This allows the Love Square Drama to continue, with Marinette being slammed for DARING to be upset/have STANDARDS - everyone claims that she's set the bar too impossibly high and is responsible for her own romantic misery, while Adrien continues being coddled by other temporary love interests while waiting for her to wise up.

Uggggggh.

I’m just waiting for Ladybug to loudly reject Chat Noir and then she falls for him soon after and bonus if Chat rubs it in her face that she’s moved on or the narrative ignores Chat’s past actions as Ladybug is all like, “WOW HE’S SO RESPECTFUL NOW.”

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Ladybug's continued rejections of Chat Noir are directly compared to Gabriel's shitty parenting -- both of them are denying Adrien things he wants, and these crimes against Sadrien are depicted as equally awful.  (If not weighted towards Ladybug being worse because sHe'S bReAkInG hIs WiDdLe HeArT~~~)

This one wins for making me the most upset.

Anonymous asked:

Didn’t need burrow: Juleka will become the tiger hero in another Julerose-centric episode, but this time Rose is akumatized (into princess fragrance again, but this time with a sentimonster so it’s DiFfErEnT). It will chronologically take place after guilt trip, but Rose’s disability will not be acknowledged, even in passing.

I swear, if I have to see a repeat akuma ONE MORE TIME!!!

Anonymous asked:

Didn’t need burrow: The major conflict of the season will be Marinette repeating “mistakes” (this can be similar to not keeping chat 100% in the loop till he throws a fit or having a human to depend on emotionally about miraculous stuff) Bonus: The show doesn’t show the good that came out of her actions and only the bad (Not having a breakdown and etc)

Yup. Definitely Marinette’s fault that she needed to rely on someone so she didn’t have a breakdown. She should’ve buried her emotions and broke down every day instead.

Anonymous asked:

Didn’t Need Burrow: After the show runners give into another fan theory of new permanent heroes, they will quickly show why this was a mistake. Bonus if it’s the very next episode (because if Marinette did it then it has to be bad)

This already felt super likely and then you added “because if Marinette did it then it has to be bad” and now I’m just sad because it’s doubly right.

Anonymous asked:

Didn’t Need Burrow: Marinette, who dreams of being a fashion designer, designs something that’s just ugly. Bonus if it’s never addressed/characters just say it’s great so the show doesn’t look bad at designing clothes

Does Ladybug count? Still can’t believe Chat Noir gets the “complex” outfit with actual thought and Ladybug gets the onesie.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: It's revealed that Emilie intended to use the Miraculi they'd found to 'give Adrien the world'.  This is treated as a sympathetic motive because, as Word of God constantly insists, Adrien is perfect and deserves everything he desires, regardless of how anyone else feels about it.  Thus it doesn't matter what horrific things his parents did or intended; their goals are treated as righteous, with Ladybug being Wrong to oppose them.

They just want what’s best for their son!!

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: There will be a plot in which LADYBUG is accused of not caring about civilians, with Adrien/Chat Noir getting to lecture her as if HE has the moral high ground.  Or any ground to stand on.  His abysmal track record is completely ignored, retconned, or otherwise treated as inapplicable; we likely get a singular moment where he suddenly Gives A Shit about protecting one of his friends/classmates, which is treated as proof that he Always Cares About Such Matters.

Bonus if it’s Ladybug choosing not to defend/save someone who spited her/deserves it, which is “clearly worse” than Chat Noir threatening to let Paris drown in “Syren.” Ladybug is not allowed to be human and also not allowed to show people that there are consequences for their actions, proving that they/Chat can take advantage and mock her as much as they want with no repurcussions.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Sabrina and Chloe have another Friendship Breakup; when Sabrina seems poised to actually get away from her abusive 'BFF' for good, Adrien intervenes/whines at Marinette to help him fix it, because it's nOt FaAaAaIr for Chloe to be aLl AlOoOoOoNe...

Is it too late to make Adrien disappear and have it look like an accident.

Anonymous asked:

DNB: In a Shocking Twist, Cats are revealed to be cursed - the majority suffer some catastrophic fate as the Ring eventually causes their Destruction.  Only True Love can break it, making Ladybug's refusal to give in to Chat Noir's advances a literal matter of life-and-death and 'justifying' all of his behavior.  Bonus if it's retconned that *Adrien always knew this*, despite nothing in his behavior ever indicating he believed himself to be on borrowed time.  Because Angstrese.

Also bonus if this is also used as just another way to make him seem sympathetic. Double bonus if this information is brought up after Ladybug snaps at Chat Noir, and she’s told this information to make her feel guilty.

.

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: If Adrien reveal someone his secret identity, it will be ... obviously Wayhem.

Nino: hello darkness--

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Goat!Marc, Rooster!Nathaniel and even Ox!Ivan will be buffed out because not even the boys in this show are allowed to keep their own body shapes when they become superheroes.

I’m positive Ivan especially will be beefed up. The civilian models are really awkward at times and clearly not prepared to be put in onesies (it’s hard to explain and maybe someone more experienced with propotions/anatomy will be able to say it better, but their limbs don’t have a lot of “shape” to them I guess?).

Anonymous asked:

Didn’t need burrow: Alya’s miraculous looks exactly the same in it’s “camouflage” mode solely so Lila can easily switch her necklace with Alya’s. (seriously why does it not change that bothers the hell out of me)

If that happens, I’d put money on Alya not getting called out on it. Good to know you put so much priority on “secrecy,” Alya.

Anonymous asked:

Didn’t need burrow: A kwami swap will happen again somehow. Marinette will uncharacteristically scold Adrien way more harshly than normal AGAIN to make him feel bad about himself and this will further the (Adrien melodrama depression arc) of him feeling useless/ replaced. Bonus points if Alya picks up his slack.

Honestly, I was here for the scolding in “Reflekdoll” just because there weren’t consequences for her for once.

Anonymous asked:

Didn’t Need Burrow: There will be Sad Noir galore. Its all Ladybug’s fault, naturally.

Naturally.

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: Episode where Sabrina gets Dog Miraculous will be Chloe-centric (or Bourgeois sisters centric)

&

Anonymous asked:

Didn’t Need Burrow: the episode where Sabrina gets the Dog Miraculous (which seems inevitable now, ugh) will heavily feature or even focus on Chloé, despite the fact that Chloé has already had a couple of episodes focusing largely on her this season. Sabrina’s introduction as a hero will have about as much focus as Kim’s or will be jammed into the last five minutes of the episode. Bonus points if they manage to deny her a proper transformation sequence like they did Kagami.

Roger: *exists and desperately needs development on his policy that caused Sabrina to become Chloe’s slave in the first place*

show: okay but--

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Under pressure, Marinette admits to Alya and/or Tikki that she doesn't mind the attention (aka constant harassment) Chat Noir gives her; parroting common claims by sexual harassers, she says it makes her feel *special* and *noticed*.  She may also insist that she still wishes he would focus on the AKUMA/their responsibilities more, but the obvious point of this scene is to 'justify' his behavior with evidence that 'she enjoys it'.

MARINETTE

PLEASE

YOU DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: There will be a joke about Chat Noir *copping a feel* on Ladybug after an akuma sends them into an awkward position.  Ladybug's shock and discomfort is played for laughs; bonus if he quips about her suit not leaving much to the imagination.  Adrien is in a fantastic mood afterwards, considering that to be the 'best battle yet'.  (Alternatively, another heroine is victimized and Ladybug is visibly jealous/her annoyance at Chat is treated like jealousy.)

I’m not adding this to the spreadsheet just because a scene like that is too dicey for a kid’s show (though, believe me, if it were to happen, I’m putting that on it’s own damn card), but I will say that this would 100% happen if this were an anime/aimed towards an older audience.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Adrien tricks Alya into thinking that Chat Noir already knows Ladybug's secret identity, thusly learning that she's Marinette.  This is passed off as all MARI's fault, naturally.  If Alya apologizes at all, it's in a backhanded, "But why didn't he know this already?" sort of fashion.

It’s Marinette’s fault for telling Alya her identity in the first place.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Post-Reveal, Marinette struggles to reconcile how her crush is also her abusive slacker 'partner'.  Adrien, by contrast, accepts her as Ladybug immediately... though his words make clear that he doesn't give a shit who SHE is, just that she's Ladybug.  Naturally, this is treated as Mari needing to learn how to accept Adrien for who he is, all while insisting that his many flaws and failings aren't issues at all.

i hate it, thanks

Anonymous asked:

DNB: The RLBS is EXPLICITLY punishment for Marinette: after a mutual reveal, Adrien declares that they can't get together as civilians until she accepts him as Chat Noir.  Mari is forced to awkwardly pursue Chat as Ladybug while he strings her along/humiliates her; meanwhile, Adrien trolls her with shallow gestures to fluster her/rile up their shipper classmates, who ride her ass for not 'sealing the deal' and making their relationship official.  Alya, aware of everything, is the WORST about it.

I presume that “RLBS” is “Reverse Love BS” which... yes.

Also, that whole “she needs to accept him as Chat Noir” infuriates me because that’s been a fandom thing forever.

.

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: The only reason Sabrina got Dog Miraculous is because of a scene where Chloe literally "Kick the Dog".

&

Anonymous asked:

Didn’t Need Burrow to know that despite Sabrina almost certainly getting a miraculous and becoming a hero, the fact that she deserves better than being abused by Chloé and is a worthwhile individual in her own right will not be addressed. Because StATuS QuO!

I just had a horrible thought that they’ll do the episode like--

Chloe treats Sabrina terribly like usual, Sabrina ditches Chloe and Chloe is miserable + takes it out on everyone else for it, then Chloe gets akumatized over it and Sabrina gets the dog (for “loyalty”), which leads to Sabrina going back to Chloe so that Chloe will direct the abuse more solely towards Sabrina because “she takes it out on others otherwise”/she’s “used to it”/”it’s her responsibility and this is the right thing to do.” This will also be presented as the “right choice” and Chloe and Sabrina’s relationship will basically not change for the sake of leaving Chloe the way she is.

Anonymous asked:

Didn’t Need Burrow: Cat Noir is gonna throw a Syren-Sized fit if/when he finds out that Ladybug dares to have a support network through Alya (not a very GOOD support network, but one nonetheless).

Still waiting for the “lesson” where Ladybug is told she’s not allowed to have emotions/be vulnerable.

Oh wait, that’s the show.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't need Burrow: Adrien/Chat Noir will angst and fish for sympathy points instead of apologizing for the 40th time in the series.

Every time.

Anonymous asked:

Didn’t Need Burrow: Luka is gonna say that Adrien and Marinette are made for each other. This is the last appearance that he will make in the show (with exception to background/shipping fuel between him and somebody else w̶h̶o̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶p̶r̶o̶b̶a̶b̶l̶y̶ ̶e̶i̶t̶h̶e̶r̶ ̶Z̶o̶è̶ ̶o̶r̶ ̶K̶a̶g̶a̶m̶i̶).

Considering the ““““parellel”“““ episodes of “Truth” and “Lies,” I’m just ready for the same thing that happened with Kagami in “Mr. Pigeon 72.”

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Trixx plays pranks on Alya's family and is a little troll; he particularly loves teasing the twins, since any claims they might make about seeing a 'magical flying fox' will be passed  off as childish imaginings.  Alya blames Marinette for this more than she does Trixx.

Marineeeette, raise your “children” better!!

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Alya will wind up spilling Ladybug's secret identity to Nino because 'she needs to talk to SOMEONE about this!' (and Mari CLEARLY doesn't count for anything) and trusts her boyfriend.

I would also imagine Alya going on about Marinette’s secret to Nino without explicitly telling him.

Also, this will be an episode in this season because Alya couldn’t even keep it in for ONE SEASON (”Animan” all over again).

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Ladybug will be seriously injured during an akuma battle, with circumstances preventing them from winning the fight/repairing the damage with Miraculous Cure right away.  Adrien/Chat Noir attempts to exploit the situation to learn 'his lady's' secret identity.  The narrative REFUSES to call him out on this; it's entirely on Marinette to protect herself by hiding the truth despite her injuries.

Bonus because “Ladybug” seemed to imply that their almost invincible in their suits, though I imagine if they get hurt, it’ll be Chat Noir and used for angst (like in “Miraculer”).

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Marinette will combine Miraculi more often to cut down on having to track down others all the time and put them in danger.  (And also because the merch guys want more stuff to base toys off of.)  She gets condemned for being a 'glory hound' and 'taught' that she needs to rely upon others more often, no matter what sort of risks that might entail (she'll get blamed for that anyway) or how they might let her down (again, always her fault).

Marinette: *tries not to burden others and instead does what the narrative has convinced her of; bearing the world’s weight alone until she breaks*

show: gOd, mArIneTtE--

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Chat Noir's tendency to screw around, flirt, and not read or work with his allies at all gets Rena Rouge, Vesperia or one of the other heroes hurt.  Naturally, this is played for Sadrien above all else -- if Ladybug or anyone else DARES to show any anger towards him for it, it's depicted as completely unjustified and unfair.  Bonus if the injured party insists that it's okay.

They neeeed Chat Noir to lighten the mood! He’s worth the risk!

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: RLBS is kicked off by Marinette being utterly HUMILIATED by Adrien publicly rejecting her once he can't ignore her crush anymore, spurring her to give up on him 'for good'.  Adrien decides that he misses her chasing after him and starts pursuing her, with Alya and others encouraging her to accept his advances/telling her that she's crazy to reject him even after what he did.  Marinette's utter misery over the whole ordeal is treated as HILARIOUS.

It’s not like he mEaNt to embarrass you, Marinette!!!

Marinette didn’t meant to do a lot of things too but you don’t see the show giving her any slack.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Adrien/Chat Noir starts treating Alya/Rena Rouge with exactly as much 'respect' as he gives Ladybug -- which is to say, nothing but lip service paired with stunts like refusing to help unless she spills Ladybug's secrets.  Alya naturally blames Marinette for this.

I’m torn on whether he’d “””respect her””” as much as Ladybug or give her even more respect, probably on the premise that “Ladybug chose her,” and that somehow proves that Chat Noir is a good guy in all this (while, again, disrespecting/not trusting Ladybug/making his own decisions at every corner).

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Adrien/Chat Noir attempts to charm Alya/Rena Rouge into sharing Ladybug's secrets with him, possibly making Nino jealous in the process.

*sees “Rocketear” trailer*

oh no...

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: We get another 'Bad Future' episode centered on Sadrien; this time around, it features him losing the Ring, painting this popular plotline as a horrible idea because Adrien is Perfect and Never Does Anything Wrong, and should never be punished for his actions.  No matter how it happens, Marinette is blamed for it; bonus if somebody angrily tells her that SHE should have lost HER Miraculous instead.

Wouldn’t be surprised, but that would also mean making a new model of a cat hero.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: It's revealed that part of the reason Alix/Bunnix refuses to share any 'Spoilers' about how the future is 'meant to go' is because Marinette Suffers Incredibly in the process, and Alix knows that she'd try to find some other way... and assumes that she'd fail in the process.  This is treated as entirely valid and Marinette, if she learns that this is part why Bunnix won't tell her shit, has to accept that she's just doomed to be Fate's personal punching bag.  Sucks to be her!

It’s “meant to be.”

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Marinette/Ladybug is told outright that she's a horrible person for not respecting Chat Noir's feelings for her.  Bonus points if it's Alya, citing Mari's crush on Adrien as proof that she should know how it feels to constantly fail at getting your crush's attention.  (Alternately, Adrien venting to her about how *unfair* it is that Ladybug's so cruel to her partner, unaware of the dramatic irony.)  Triple-7 Jackpot of Shit if this contributes to the RLBS becoming a thing.

UGGGGGH.

And of course Chat Noir wouldn’t get the same treament and it’ll be like, “WELL ADRIEN DOESN’T kNoW sO--”

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Instead of Lila, Chloe is revealed to be the next holder of the Butterfly Miraculous. This shows Chloe as "irredeemable" while successfully writing Lila out of the show.

Meanwhile, the writers’ script is frantically scribbled on with red marker.

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: Reveal that post about Lila being future Hawkmoth was Red Herring (or in this case orange herring)

Dumb herring.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't need a burrow;

By the end of the series, Gabriel will have a redemption arc to feel sympathy for him :o

guys he’s so sad don’t you see--

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Adrien's inability to choose between the 'love of his life' and the abusive shitbag excuse of a sire who'd just smacked him like a ping-pong ball foreshadows that he will ultimate choose Gabriel after learning that he's Hawk/Shadowmoth.  This will be entirely blamed on Marinette not being able to keep him by her side because 'she didn't love/cherish/appreciate him enough'!

After “Guiltrip” and the whole, “I don’t say this enough--” line, I’d buy it and now I’m sad.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: The RLBS is kicked off by Chat Noir switching sides and joining Hawk/Shadowmoth.  Ladybug is forced to appeal to Chat's 'love' for her, with Alya, Tikki, and various other 'friends'/allies blaming her for his defection.  Meanwhile, Sadrien starts pursuing Marinette as an outlet for his mangst, 'unintentionally' making her more miserably conflicted in the process.

She rejected him and therefore he’s in his right to switch sides. She never even gave him a chance!!!

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Adrien is a Sentimonster/was created by other Miraculous magic by the Agrestes, who desired a 'perfect/model son'.  This is used to further the narrative that his entitlement is actually a Good Thing: Adrien was not MEANT to have any wants/needs/desires of his own, but mysteriously developed them anyway.  Thus Marinette NEEDS to cater to his every whim because it's sO mIrAcUlOuS that he HAS them in the first place.  Hooray...?

His very EXISTENCE is MIRACULOUS, Marinette!!!

Also, Astruc will act like this was amazingly foreshadowed in “Ladybug” where Ladybug comments on Sentibug’s perfection.and with Astruc always called Adrien perfect (either on his own or through other characters).

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Another Shocking Familial Connection is revealed: Felix is not Adrien's cousin, but Gabriel and Emilie's original son, whom they shunted off on her sister and replaced with the 'perfect' Adrien.  50-50 split on whether this is used to excuse all of Felix's shitty behavior or if he's demonized further -- 'See, THIS is why they replaced him!  ANYONE would choose the Perfect Adrien over someone like THAT!'

Why not both????

It’s like the Chloe-Zoe situation but male.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: After learning that Rena Rouge has become Ladybug's confidant, Chat Noir outright REFUSES to help at a critical moment, sneering about how 'you ladies CLEARLY don't need me'.  As with everything else, the blame for his latest stunt is laid neatly at Marinette's feet, because Adrien is never EVER responsible for his own actions.

They’ll probably blame Marinette because Ladybug “didn’t tell him right away.”

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Circumstances force Adrien to be Mr. Bug again (since they already have the models).  Much is milked from how HAAAAAAAARRRRD his temporary responsibilities are on him, and he reiterates afterwards how happy he is that he doesn't have to deal with that all the time.  No actual sympathy for Ladybug's situation is displayed, though stans treat it as such; what we're actually SHOWN is that Adrien only cares about the burden when HE'S the one stuck carrying it.

As per usual, no one cares about Marinette’s problems until it directly affects THEM, and then they’ll go back to not caring.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: With all of the other abusive behavior Adrien has shown towards Ladybug, it's only a matter of time before we get a 'Why did you make me hit you?' moment.  No akuma influence; just him physically lashing out at her because he's an entitled little shit upset over not getting his way, followed by the inevitable bleating about how bad HE feels and how he'll 'never do it again'.  Naturally, this is presented as though Marinette 'deserved it' and must accept his apology.

Show, don’t do this to me, I swear--

I’d be surprised if this did happen, but more because it’s like wow the lack of self-awareness is even worse than I thought.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: We get a Very Special Episode about sexual harassment... which not only refuses to acknowledge Adrien's behavior as such, but asserts that he would NEVER touch 'his lady' in any kind of inappropriate fashion.  Bonus: he harasses her in that very same episode to 'prove' that his behavior isn't inappropriate.

So “Felix” but worse...

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: The reason why ML Writers made Zoe an actress is to justify why she managed to recognize that Lila is "Liar that lies" instantly after meeting her.

Waiting for the moment where Zoe talks to Marinette to address Marinette “acting like she’s not in love with Adrien.”

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Lila steals the Fox Pendant from Alya/does something that affects her *personally*.  Alya then reads Marinette the riot act, demanding to know "Why didn't you WARN ME about her?!"  (None of the times that she DID count because Alya dismissed them as her 'just being jealous', which is, of course, entirely Mari's fault.)  Bonus if we allude back to her claiming that 'good reporters do their research' and how she expected MARI to provide her her with proof of her claims.

Marinette: *thousand yard stare*

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: When Lila is exposed, Marinette gets blamed for all the harm she caused with her various deceptions, since she tried to warn others and couldn't convince anyone of the truth.  Adrien 'taking the high road' is largely glossed over; if anyone finds out that HE knew too and never did anything to warn anyone, he's quickly forgiven for 'not knowing any better'.

See, Marinette, if you just hadn’t tRiEd--

And Adrien was just trying to “be nice to everyone equally” so he’s forgiven.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Adrien/Chat Noir outright admits that he dislikes Rena/the other heroes being around since they make him feel unnecessary.  This is treated as a perfectly reasonable and valid complaint rather than a slacker piss-moaning about being shown up by others making actual EFFORT.

*flashbacks to “You’re not trying to replace me with a turtle, are you?” after Carapace shows up LITERALLY ONCE*

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: We get a retread of the NYC Special's Angstrian when he accidentally ('accidentally?') Cataclysms Rena/somebody else.  Bonus if the victim once again argues that THEIR experiences/trauma are FAR less important than his.  (Especially if it's Alya, Nino, Max... somebody who ALSO happens to be a character of color temporarily killed off to make the spoiled white rich brat feel sorry for himself.)

It’s an accident and also probably “Ladybug’s fault.”

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Adrien/Chat Noir skips an akuma attack/shows up late to find it was resolved without him, and mopes about how 'his lady doesn't need him anymore', requiring somebody else to massage his ego.  Bonus points if somebody (likely Ladybug) is demonized for getting annoyed at him for being late/a no-show, because HOW DARE they take defending Paris seriously?!

Well excuse us, Chat, next time we’ll just awkwardly stall for twenty minutes.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Chat Noir will 'accidentally' Cataclysm one of the protective Charms so that its holder can be akumatized again.  Bonus if he does this to Alya/one of the other heroes.

Probably Chloe.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: The protective charms are ultimately rendered effectively pointless when Adrien switches sides and starts using his powers to destroy them.  Naturally, Marinette is held completely responsible for his actions, because God FORBID he ever be called to account for himself.  Not when his 'partner' is around to absorb all the blame.

You didn’t make him feel loVeD, Marinette.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Adrien pulls a Chloe with his own attempt at engineered heroics, putting the lives of others on the line to 'prove his value'.  Ladybug is completely blamed for the stunt; bonus if someone accuses her of 'not learning anything' from what happened with Chloe.

Hate it. Hate it a lot.

We already got him trying to cause/hoping for akuma, so this isn’t too far off.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Adrien gives Zoe better advice for dealing with her bullies.  His policy for handling Chloe and Lila remains the same as ever.  (In other words, only Marinette has to 'be the better person' and keep suffering at the hands of her abusers, since it maintains his preferred status quo.  But it's no skin off his nose if Zoe's situation changes/improves.)

I also imagine that Adrien would give this advice without Marinette onscreen, so Adrien won’t be called out on it.

Anonymous asked:

Didn’t Need Burrow: Alya will reveal Marinette’s identity to someone (possibly Nino) and the show will then punish Marinette for trusting Alya in the first place. Bonus point if the show then says she should have trusted Adrien/Chat Noir because he would never have betrayed her trust.

I’m just remembering the fandom’s complaints and wow I hate it.

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: Ladybug Miraculous basically change into Poor man's version of Green Lantern's Ring

*stares at the phone in “Optigami” that somehow picks up on the kwamis’ voices* hm

Anonymous asked:

Didn’t Need Burrow: Marinette will look through the future and see one where she and Luka get together, except it’s portrayed as bad and abusive, more so if he knows her secret identity, and the only way for her to escape it is by getting with Chat Noir(and not...you know, anybody else. Or being single. Or MAKING THE RELATIONSHIP WORK!!!). Chat Noir sees it too, and gloat about in her face, since it proved that they were “meant for each other, m’lady!” Bonus points if someone calls Thomas Ass Truck out on this shit, and he either replies that it was the best thing to do, claims it doesn’t matter how Lukanette is treated/the love square ends up together because they’re “made for each other” anyway, or even tries to pass it off as “girl power”, because how could we let the female lead get with the respe—oops, I mean abusive guy over the one who treats her te—oops, I mean respectfully and like a “gentleman” would?! And then he’ll follow up by blocking them for daring to question the Ridiculous Relationship Rhombus and respect the “non-endgame” ship. Even wor—oops! I mean, better, if love square shippers use this opportunity to gloat about how “I always knew Adrien and Marinette(notice how they always place his name first?!) were perfect for each other, Luka wasn’t good enough for Marinette, take that, Lukanette shippers!” declaring it “anti-salt”.

bfgkdjfgdfg god

Also, the only problem with this idea is that it would mean making an adult model for Luka.

Bonus if another “disadvantage” to Marinette dating Luka is that Luka isn’t high class.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Marinette will be told outright to 'Get over yourself' and stop bringing up valid complaints about Chat Noir's shitty behavior, as the series becomes increasingly overt with its subtext about how one of Marinette's Biggest Mistakes is having STANDARDS.

Ignoring that Luka exists, of course, and if it’s mentioned that Luka exists then cue, “OH BUT SHE DOESN’T AAAACTUALLY LOVE LUKA.”

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need Burrow: SentiWiFi (Lady WiFi Sentimonster)

SentiEveryone at this point...

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: Nino is again robbed of screentime by Sentimonster based on him.

*sees “Sentibubbler” title and trailer*

Did--did you predict the future??

...I mean, we’ve been doing that the whole time, but damn.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Alya will continue shoving Marinette towards Adrien, then mockingly ask 'Didn't you want to give romance a break?' or something along those lines.  Showing that not only is she fully aware of Marinette's wishes and doesn't give a damn, but implicitly blaming Marinette for her inability to stick to them, despite how SHE is the one forcing the issue.

“We all know that you WANT HIM, Marinette! Stop denying yourself!!!”

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: When Marinette gets a spot of hope regarding her relationship woes, Alya leaps in to take all the credit for the apparent success.  Once the light turns out to be an incoming Drama Train that blindsides Marinette and leaves her humiliated and heartbroken, Alya insists that it's entirely MARI's fault that things went off the rails.

Waiting for a line from Alya about how she’s doing everything right and Marinette must be really hopeless if Alya’s schemes aren’t working...

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Alya and Nino will get into a bit of Relationship Drama in order to further reinforce the series' double standards.  (Such as 'It's OK for boys to lie, but girls shouldn't have any secrets.'  Or 'Boys can hold grudges, but girls must forgive every trespass.'  Or 'Girls shouldn't told boys to impossible standards like expecting to be treated with basic human decency.')  Bonus points if Marinette gets blamed for it.

Yup.

Yup.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: The subtext about Marinette not deserving a GOOD love interest is further emphasized by Kagami and Luka getting together.  Kagami comments on how she can trust Luka not to lie to her; this is the closest she gets to explaining to Marinette WHY she broke things off with Adrien in the first place.  After all, it doesn't matter if Adrien lies to Marinette; they're 'meant for each other'.

I’m still not over Kagami saying that the guy who lied to her is “made for” her only friend????

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Zoe learns a valuable lesson about the importance of Being Herself with Luka's help, teasing the idea of the two of them getting together.

“Bonus” for Marinette saying that Zoe and Luka are made for each other.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Chat Noir deliberately strings Vesperia along in a ploy to make Ladybug jealous.  Zoe is naturally heartbroken when she learns the truth.  Her pain is blamed entirely on Marinette, since Adrien can NEVER be held accountable for his own actions.

Ladybug, you should’ve seen this coming!!

Anonymous asked:

Didn't need burrow (kinda?), Astruc apparently is aware that his perfect Adrien is flawed as Chat Noir (he said so on twitter), and I fear that if anyone ever asks him why the two sides of Adrien so different, he'll reveal that the cat miraculous changes the holder's personality or some shit, which will cause "Anti Adrien Salt" to explode, screaming "the salter's claims aren't valid anymore, it's not Adrien's fault, it's the miraculous!!!1!!111!!!!¡¡!¡¡¡!!!"

I feel like he denied that back when he still had a Tumblr but gosh I’m just waiting for it to be confirmed because FANON THEORIES.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Adrien gets a taste of what Marinette goes through constantly when he/Chat Noir suffers a bit of minor humiliation over his crush.  His pain and angst over this is played DEAD SERIOUS, treated as though he's suffering through the WORST THING EVER even though whatever happened pales in comparison to what Marinette has endured.  Anyone who dares so much as chuckle at what happened is villainized, since only a MONSTER would find his suffering funny.

I’m seething.

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: Return of Sentibug (for fanservice)

Bonus if they kill her off again. Something something “only one Ladybug” something.

neyla9 asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: So if Zoe gets sent to a new boarding school after being in Paris for a few months (there is a chance the writers will just completely ignore that this was established in Sole Crusher, in which case this probably won't happen), I predict that Zoe was brought in specifically to redeem Chloe, rubbing it in Marinette's face that she failed at redeeming Chloe, and force Marinette to give Chloe the bee miraculous back

Most likely. Apparently needed to bring someone else in to make Marinette feel worse.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Adrien abandons/ditches his responsibilities as a hero because he's too busy sulking over his ego being bruised by some slight (real or imagined).  Marinette is naturally blamed for this.

Oh, of course!

Marinette probably had to be late for patrol so he was intentionally late for something, and then was like well you did it to me, so--

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Chloe will get another tiresome 'Will she or won't she be redeemed?' arc, only to backstab/betray everyone again.  Astruc will preen and croon on social media about how gullible anyone that thinks she could ever be redeemable is.  Bonus points if Chloe's damning act that proves she's unsalvageable is something ADRIEN has done.

Meanwhile, Nino is back here absolutely collecting DUST!!!

I guess you gotta be a horrible person/make Marinette suffer to get screen time.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Chloe will discover Vesperia's secret identity and steal the Bee Miraculous, then spitefully out Zoe so that SHE can't be a heroine anymore.

Marinette is running out of teens at this point but finding new ones would mean more models.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Zoe is used to teach Marinette that she's too harsh on others for lying, and should accept that they can be dishonest sometimes.  (Especially Adrien.)  As a natural follow-up, Marinette is blamed/punished for falling for a friend's lies -- because CLEARLY it's not Alya/Adrien/anyone else's fault if she believes their bullshit!

No one’s perfect, Marinette! People are human!!

...Except you, of course.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Despite the incident with SentiNino, Shadow Moth will *successfully* obtain a miraculous by using the same trick.  Bonus points if it's Marinette/Ladybug who falls for it... though really, she'll be blamed regardless.

Double bonus if she doesn’t fall for it but it still goes through.

Anonymous asked:

DNB: The 'Shocking Twist' of Adrien/Chat Noir betraying Team Miraculous and joining his father will be presented as though it's entirely Marinette/Ladybug's fault, with Adrien acting as though he Had No Choice and angsting about being 'forced' to betray his lady and friends.  The series never acknowledges how self-serving his motives actually are, and any call-outs he gets are treated as Wrong and Awful and Blaming Poor Innocent Victim Adrien.

“hE’s jUsT tRyinG tO sAvE hIs mOm”

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: 'Borrowing' from many a Salt Fic, Marinette will thank her for 'proving who my *real* friends are'.  This entails giving Adrien, Alya and possibly others credit for always standing by her, believing in her, and various other things that they never actually did.

I’m presuming “her” means “everyone”/”the girl squad” and yup.

Better tell than show I guess.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Alya will be retconned into having 'never believed anything Lila said'.  Or at least, she will CLAIM that she never believed her.

I WILL BE SO UPSET

Also prepared for them to handwave it, like, “oh whatever, now I’m helping you since I know so it’s all good!”

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need Burrow: Similarities between Luka and Zoe were only red herring. Zoe will become Kagami's new love interest (and Kagami and Zoe's dynamic will be suspiciously similar do Fanon!Marigami)

But that would imply they care enough about LGBT rep.

Though they could always pull a Voltron and slip it in at the very end.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Marinette will suffer the toll/backlash from using multiple Miraculi ONLY for the sake of making that her Latest Mistake. Her past successes are only acknowledged as a way of painting her as arrogant for assuming she could continue doing so safely.

She’ll probably be yelled at and told not to “keep doing everything herself” even though that’s what the narrative keeps telling her to do.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Adrien discovers his father's secret identity and hides it... and this is painted as an act of incredible self-sacrifice rather than selfishness.  Rather than treating it as a betrayal of Ladybug/Team Miraculous, the series focuses on his angst and 'inner struggle', pretending there's something heroic about him refusing to expose Hawkmoth and potentially put an end to his terrorizing Paris.

:|

Deep breaths, Clarity.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't need burrow: Alya will get to keep her boyfriend despite her being involved with the miraculous box n stuff, unlike Marinette. Why, you ask? Easy, the bond between Luka and Mari just isn't sTrOnG eNoUgH for them to last through difficult times, like Alya and Nino do so easily.

Ignoring that Marinette and Luka only just got together and also that Marinette has it WAY different than Alya.

But no I guess. Adrien and Marinette are “made for each other” so gotta discredit Lukanette whenever. Marinette isn’t allowed to be happy, we know.

Anonymous asked:

Didn’t Need Burrow: The one time Marinette gets a break from akumas and her responsibilities all hell breaks loose and the lesson for that episode will be that Marinette and Marinette alone must carry the burden of being Ladybug and Guardian.

Marinette: *gets five minutes of sleep*

Paris: *catches on fire*

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow (Can I do two at once?): "Crocoduel" will not acknowledge the Lukanette breakup at all, and the titular Akuma will just be Guitar Villain and Captain Hardrock again.

(You’re allowed two, absolutely!)

I’d like to add as well that, even if they do acknowledge the Lukanette breakup, Marinette will talk to Luka about it but then be like, “I’m not focusing on love right now and I’m too busy so I’m sorry for everything that happened,” even as everyone keeps pushing for the love square.

[evesbeve]

i haven't sent u a useless idea ask in a while but it's how i show affection so prepare urself.

au where ben can touch things in the corporeal world... but ONLY things klaus has touched. he can walk around most of the hargreeves mantion and pick up random plates and chairs and shit but the only books he can really touch are textbooks in greek or something. they go to a rehab and ben can bounce around on klaus' bed but he cannot take any food or anything and its not like he's abt to steal from his recovering brother??

(drugs in this paragraph) he's probably tried to stop klaus from taking drugs before but the rules only extend to things klaus HAS touched, as in, not klaus himself or things klaus is currently touching. ben's probably tried to yank a syringe or something out of klaus' hand before and kept trying but it never worked so eventually he gives up and just starts disappearing for a bit while klaus is getting high.

this is opening a door to more questions im having,,, abt my own au. well fuck

ben trying to force klaus to hold a book because PLEASE klaus i just want to read it just ONE GODDMAN VOLUME i sWEAR and klaus is an asshole so obvs he doesn't touch the books for a while but he eventually caves, and if ben was rlly upset abt it he'll wrap it with a shitty old ribbon or smth and give it to him as a present w/o acknowledging it at all

birthday gifts!! klaus giving ben a birthday gift every year like clockwork!! sometimes theyre gag gifts and other times theyre really shitty but its clear klaus is trying to at least do SOMETHING... bc he a) feels guilty or b) feels obligated to at least do this for ben bc they never got it as kids and nobody is there to do it for klaus himself or c) all of the above :')

i made myself sad. u better not take 3 months to publish this ask eve smhsmhsmh/j i kid i jest take all the time u want ily nfjrbdjdn 💞💞

i have bad news and good news and good news again.

bad news: i did take 3 months to publish this ask, mwah!

good news (part 1): it wasn't on purpose i promise

good news (part 2): THIS IS AN AMAZING AU AND IT NOW LIVES IN MY HEAD RENT-FREE

FOR STARTERS, the first thing klaus does when they get a motel for the night is throw himself around the room and touch as many things as he can so that ben has something to do.

(klaus finds out that ben really likes reading shampoo labels when he's desperate for entertainment, because come on, of course he would.)

AND OH, imagine them at the funeral; they're walking around the house, exploring for the first time in years. they end up in the attic, and ben finds a comic book he lost when he was little. it just. suddenly disappeared from his room, one day.

so he reaches out and... he touches it. and actually works! and he's so happy to be reunited with it, but then he realises that oh. he can touch it.

so he turns to look at klaus, who can only shrug nervously in return because they now both know that the reason ben's favorite comic issue ended up in an abandoned self in the attic is because a certain ghost summoner put it there.

ben gives him shit for it for the entire day.

[calehenituseappreciation]

i hc wilbur made tommy president because he planned to go and press the button while tommy spoke and kill him along with himself

wilbur wanted end all his unfinished symphonies and as the person who raised tommy- he raised him like he raised l'manberg. he doesnt care for fundy- not since he denounced him- so he wanted to end him :)

i need a fic where tommy is the one who goes to stop wilbur and wilbur fucking stabs him before pressing the button saying "it was never meant to be" tommy loses both first and last lives to that phrase

tommys last words are it was always meant to be fucking wilbur survives the explosion and has no one to kill him and now he has to live with the consqunces tommy becomes toast- short for ghost tommy i refuse to write so many letters each time- and immeditly looks for his older brothers and he finds wilbur first :) wilbur is exiled for his crimes and also out of fear- they tried to rehabilate him! they really did but then he freaked out over seeing toast... in a bad way.... and he and toast burned georges house on toast suggest (maybe we should burn something! that always helps me calm down!) this is after wilbur is trusted enough to be not... in a prison... after phil convinced them he needs help and toast tries his best ok- (WHO LEFT WILBUR WITH TOAST!) (I THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME! I WAS ONLY LEAVING FOR FIVE MINUTES! AND RANBOO WAS THERE TOO!) and toast tries to go with but everyone is like "yeah no" and toast is like "whhhhyyy i just wanna stay with wilby!" and everytime anyone tries to tell tommy about the wrongs that have happened to him he screams and clutches his head in pain and everytime he comes back he doesnt remember the convo toast,,, is the most BABY toast calls everyone cutesy nicknames unironcially he calls eret rere toast, chriping happily: TECHIE!!!! tubbo: TOMMY STAY AWAY FROM HIM! toast, in a very lost and confused voice: why? techno, freaking out: tommy? toast: hi!!!!!!! im toast!!!!!! :D techno: lowkey ab to cry toast: NOOOOOOOO DUN CRI! toast: there there techie... i know what will help! tubbo, sighing: arson? toast: ARSON! phil comes just in time to find tommys dead body and l'manberg gone hes not around for the withers neither hes there just to see the crater and wilbur in chains with blood on his hands trying to off himself phil will forever blame himself for not making it in time :> dream: taking wilbur away in boat toast, floating behind the boat: o^o dream do you have any games on your phone .///^///. looks at exileinnit hmmm spins roulette wheel who should i hurt... i picked d all of the above they dont let toast go with him but because he is baby and you can't tell him what to do tubbo: sighs finally now that the exiles done toast can you- tubbo: looks up tubbo: GOADDAMN IT

toast is promptly kidnapped back to l'manberg the next day toast keeps going back tho and no one understands why- he literally killed him! why does he keep wanting to go back! (toasts unfinished buisness keeping him tied was helping wilbur and l'manberg- he loved wilbur even at his worst)

toast vibes around everyone but he stays with wilbur- where ever wilbur goes is where he builds his home

its shitty but its an 'ome Toast, teary eyed: Dad? Why does everyone hate Wilby? Why can't I be with him... Phil, with no idea what to do: niki bakes cakes with niki whenever hes in l'manberg he keeps accidently setting her bakery on fire but hes sMOL AND GIGGLES A LOT AND HE HAS FLOUR ON HE GODDAMN SELF toast is a part of mexican l'manberg i dont make the rules mexican dream: AYYYYYYYYY HOMIE toast, giggling: 'OMIE!!!!!

Toast is wholesome while everyone is literally willing to murder Wilbur while also trying to stop him from khs toast is just a very happy lovely child and cries whenever anyone is mean to 'his big brother wilby!' and so they all constantly glare daggers over toasts shoulder wherenever he cant see em meanwhile Phil is just dying inside because Tommy is a ghost by Wilbur's hands and Wilbur keeps trying to commit suicide and oh god what is he supposed to do- he simply avoids this struggle by avoiding them toast, waddling up to philza: papa do you have any games on your phone? all im saying is that tommy called phil papa before changing to dad or fathercraft phil,in the tired parent voice: tommy please sit down- just for five minutes- at least for 5 minutes toast: sits down and then proceeds to struggle to continue to sit but he must because dad told him to toast is just ADHD incarnate wilbur, trying to end himself: im gonna escape my consequences toast: HI!!!!! :D wilbur: FUCK ITS MY CONSEQUENCES toast,,,, is so baby Wilbur is just not allowed to have anything remotely sharp i like how theres so much angst and im just hyper focusing on ba yby dream uses toast the same way he uses ghostbur! :D toast doesnt realize of course even after wilbur tells him dream is bad but he keeps forgetting!!! Everyone: da baby Dream: how can I profit from this oh dream is manipulating wilbur btw wilbur: suffering toast: i made you a card toast trusts eret wholeheartedly and this hurts eret because she knows if toast remembered he probably wouldnt- they wanted redemption but not like this- not because of death Toast: you look cool Toast: you are friend now Eret: sobs I don't deserve this Toast: what did I do wrong Toast: how can I help friend!!!!! Eret: sobbing more toast looks at everyone says "ah! friend shaped!" if ur wondering wheres the angst toast is the angst- toast is just tommy without any bad memories and hes so different they thought he was happy before they thought he was fine tommy was hurt too but since he internalized it no one cared toast sees wilbur being sad and goes! i know what will help! n-not arson tho people dont like arson when you do it.... BUT ITS OKAY! I BROUGHT A FRIEND! shows friend, the sheep and wilbur just fucking sobs Toast is wholesome chaotic in a perfect mix- toast is tommy but without the 'asshole on purpose as a self defense mechanism" someone mentioned something about Tommy masking insecurities once Toast doesn't remember. and he's fine with that he doesn't have any insecurities toast hurts because in retrospect toast, meeting bad: WOAAAAAAH! YOU LOOK SO FUCKING COOL! bad: LANGUAGE! toast, cringing back, looking at the ground: ..sorry :( bad: ...you can swear toast: :D bad: once toast hasnt sworn since "hes saving it for special occasions" sometimes he accidently swears and immedtly gasps and looks at bad and bad just sighs and is like "its okay it was an accident" bad never would have thought itd take letting tommy swear for him to stop huh... its almost like... hes a child.... and the negetive reienforcement.... was doing more harm then good.... toast: exists in an amount of happiness no one has ever seen him in before everyone: pain how much pain was tommy in before? they thought tommy was happy- was... was he not happy? he's so unabashedly joyful and energetic looking back they can see how forced every laugh felt, every smile- He's not afraid to just talk to people, make new friends he became so much more cautious after Eret, had it really effected him that badly? He's open. He never lies about how he's feeling, never brushes anything away how much was Tommy hiding, how much pain, how much fear- It's chilling. bone chilling. There's no way to fix what's been lost. No way to apologize to who Tommy used to be, to try and make it better. None of them every bothered to see him as anything more than a nuisance, an annoying child or cannon fodder and they'll regret it for the rest of their lives everyone: having a mental crisis toast: GUYYYYSS!! I MADE ANOTHER FRIEND!!!

"Wilby?" Wilbur heard Tommys voice say in an innocent tone.

Was he hearing things? Tommy's dead. He killed him himself.

"Wilby why are you in prison?" The image of his little brother asked, "Did you commit arson without me?" it asked in a pout.

"TOMMY!" Tubbo yelled running into the cell where Wilbur was kept, going through the bars with ease, "Tommy get away from him!"

"But 'ubbo!!!! Wilby is 'ere!!!!" Tommy (?) said with a smile Wilbur hadn't seen since Tommy was a child.

"Tommy, I understand you don't remember anything right now but you need to come back over here!" Tubbo demanded and Tommy flinched

Wilbur was struck with the sudden realization that this isn't just his mind- no no it can't be- but Tubbo acknowledged him he has to- Wilbur reached his locked hands towards Tommy only for him to pass through him. What? No no it was just his imagination that makes sense.

"Oh sorry Wil! I'm kinda dead! I don't remember how i died... but i think im a ghostie!" Tommy said plainly, floating off the floor. Wilbur looked at him in confusion. Whats happening?

the first time toast sees the crater toast srceams in intense amount of pain- its so loud you can hear it all over the smp- and just dissapears for a few days before reappearing with no memories of what happened toast saying things tommy thought but never said- he calls eret "big brother" and eret fucking d i e s toast cals all the l'manbergians older siblings He's far too honest for anyone to handle tommy was always honest too but he learned from experince that honesty only lead to hurt Tommy was like an enderchest, you could never see beyond the exterior, everything inside was exclusive to him and him alone Toast is like when someone dies and all their fuckin items explode onto the ground. you just see everything and most of it was  pain and everyone feels bad because they thought he was the only one uneffected that nothing had ever put a damper on his happiness and energetic smile- at what point had that smile became fake? also for angst reasons the last memory toast has is before the elections toast has uwu boy vibes but more chaotic toast goes to dream smp from logstedshire purely for sam nook toast starts making his hotel since he sees nobody has a home (including dream LMAO) (and he wants to make a safe place since everyone keeps saying something about war) and wants to make one and asks sam for help since apparently hes good at building and sam lets him pay after he finishs the hotel and sam nook is there since day one because i dont think i could handle a world without sam nook toast: biting everyone tubbo: wHY DO YOU DO THAT?????? toast: once techie bit all the cupcakes and then said it was his cuz he bit it so im biting everyone to show their mine!!!!! tubbo: i- tubbo: i am both flattered and disgusted everyone, remembering how tommy used to bite everyone upon meeting and then everyone would get mad at him and yell at him until he stopped biting people on meeting: sadly whips and nae naes hes a BABY toast deserves the fucking world also i havent talked ab it but there is wilbur and fundy angst here fundy confronts wilbur also not that fundy is angry about not not not getting murdered by his father but also why does he consider tommy his unfinished sympohny and not him? he raised fundy too- maybe he just only ever loved tommy (based off his insecurity of how close wilbur and tommy are based off wilbur raising tommy and wilbur only being there for fundy by the time he was older and also using hybrid age go nyoom for this dream manipulates toast during wilburs exile along with wilbur and toast realizes both of them were being used by him and fucking screams lourder than he ever has before and dissapears for a week and then shows up at technos house (he got lost and he didnt know why he was at logsted shire- he doesnt remember the place) on the day of the excution and tries to help technoblade but keeps forgetting that everyone is trying to kill techno the butcher army is hesitant when "hey why are you all attacking big brother Techy-" "HE SPAWNED WITHERS IN L'MANBERG!" "he did?" toast asked tilting his head in confusion "YES! HE DID! AFTER YOU DIED! NOW WHERE IS HE TOAST! WE NEED TO CAPTURE HIM!" whenever tubbo talks ab how theyre planning on excuting techno or how there was no trial toast has flashbacks to tubbos excution but hes never able to hold on to the memories just leaving him feeling bad toast sees anything traumatic and just makes the blue screen noise toast has to reboot every time anything truamatic happens and when he does he doesnt remember what happens after

toast hurts on a "THE FUCKING IMPLICATIONS OF THIS" level just.. everyone trying to make up for not noticing tommys hurt and trying to be good to toast when its already too late... far too late glatt is also here because whenever ytoast dissapears after something trauamtic he bounces back to the land of the dead for the bit and sometimes he drags glatt out to the land of the living with him only works bc toast has unfinished buisness so he can freely go between and just stays in the land of the lving until he can finish his unfiinshed buisness ghostbur and toast wouldve been good friends if they ever met anyone yells at toast and he immeditly starts sobbing

basically when everything is calm and peaceful and everyone is happy together after dream is in prison and toast is like "oh... this is what ive always wanted"

"toast?" tubbo asked, confused toast smiled softly, "i think its time for me to go" "what?" wilbur asked his pitch unusually high due to the fear lacing his voice "i think... i think this was my unfinished buisness... this is the last thing i wanted when i was alive, the reason i stayed... i think its finally my time to go now" toast said smiling tearfully "no! you vcan't go! we just got you back!"

basically when everything is finally ok, when things finally calm down toast fades back to the void/afterlife thing