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imagineaworlds · 4 years

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I Love You (Part Thirty-Nine) -- Aaron Hotchner

Written By: @desperately-bisexual

Request: None.

Warnings: Light smut!! I don’t think anything gets out of hand in this chapter. Talk of BDSM, Dom/sub relationship, etc. I think that’s it? SAVE YOUR SIMPING FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER! The black box is coming. Good lord...

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Greenaway!Reader

Word Count: 11527

Timeline: One month after part thirty-eight.

A/N: Posting this wayyyy early because @ thomassgolfball on TikTok posted a Greg Montgomery edit for me, so I’m in a great mood!

The weekend of our wedding was chaotic, to say the least. On Friday, the boys (including Morgan, Reid, Rossi, and Anderson) stole Aaron away for a bachelor party who knew where. It happened as we were walking to our car after work. We stepped out of the building together, hand in hand, having just finished saying goodbye to the security team in the lobby. We barely stepped off the sidewalk when Rossi approached from behind us, a car pulled up in front of us, the door back door opening, and Rossi rushed to get Hotch into the car. I sighed and yelled at Morgan, who was sitting in the driver’s seat, to not let Aaron get into too much trouble. And then they sped off.

I shook off the smile on my face and continued to our car a few rows back in the parking lot. From a distance, I saw Emily leaning against the hood of the car. Well, the boys had stolen Hotch off for a boy’s weekend, and it seemed that the girls were stealing me off for a bachelorette party. I held my hands up in surrender. Next thing I knew, Emily was wearing a smirk as she handcuffed my left wrist to her right wrist. She didn’t release me until we arrived at a spa retreat out in the middle of nowhere in Virginia. It was Garcia’s idea.

“Tada!” Garcia cheered, her arms stretched into the air, her fingers jazz-dancing. “Do you like it?”

I rubbed my wrist as the handcuff fell off. “I love it.”

“Good, because we’re here until Sunday afternoon,” Emily whispered in my ear.

Because Hotch and I were in such a rush to get married on our anniversary, which was on a Monday, we had to make sure that the BAU got a long weekend, that Jack’s school was aware he wouldn’t be in class, and that everyone else we were inviting (friends and family) knew that they would have to miss some work. The good news was that all of Hotch’s friends were prosecutors and Bureaucrats, so it was fairly easy to get them out of work. When we told the Director that we were getting married, he insisted that we invite him and give him the list of Bureaucrats we were inviting so that he could ensure that they got that Monday off. As for who I was inviting, the list was pretty limited since my friends were all in the FBI, and the one person from my past that I would’ve considered inviting was off the grid. She did that a lot. So, we kept it small. It was going to be lavish, but small. And that was okay. I didn’t need a big, ostentatious wedding. I just needed my future husband, the team, and my parents. But Hotch needed everyone to know that he was marrying me.

When we found out that the team was planning on kidnapping us for separate weekend-long celebrations, Hotch and I started talking in the roundtable room as the team was filing in about how we wanted the night before the wedding all to ourselves. We tried playing it cool by stopping when someone would enter the room; but we knew that they were listening. So, when Emily told me that we were leaving the spa retreat on Sunday afternoon, I was relieved. Hotch and I were going to have Sunday night all to ourselves. Wonderful.

Sunday didn’t matter when we were out at that retreat, though. We spent Friday night in a jacuzzi together, sipping on wine and gossiping. Unfortunately, I had to stop drinking because it was upsetting my stomach, but Garcia seemed to drink for me. JJ and I laughed at her when she downed the glass I couldn’t finish. When we were all pruning, we went inside the cabin the girls all contributed to renting at the retreat for the weekend. We slid into pajamas, grabbed a bunch of blankets, and we laid on the floor in the living room, a fresh log fire beside us. JJ was responsible for bringing the shitty snacks. Since this was supposed to be a “healthy spa”, they didn’t necessarily supply snacks like Cheetos, chips, chocolate, etc. JJ already had most of that laying around at home because of Henry, so she told Emily and Garcia that she would bring the food, and that she did. Since Garcia was drinking for me, and Emily was trying to catch up to her, I stuck to the chocolate.

Time passed by so fast. I didn’t even get tired. We all crashed in the early hours of the morning, but all I could do was smile up at the ceiling while listening to Garcia snore. I was happy. My wedding was approaching, and I was with a handful of the people I loved most on planet Earth. I didn’t need anything else… Except a massage. Thankfully, my wish was granted, because, when I was woken up by Emily, we headed for breakfast at the meal hall, then went to the spa cabin where Garcia had scheduled our massages. Garcia was hungover, of course. Getting her to the meal hall was hard enough, but dragging her out of the spa once our hour long massages were done was a near impossible task.

By the time lunch came around, Garcia was passed out in the bed she had claimed as hers when we first arrived. JJ, Emily, and I gave up on her. We decided to get lunch without her, then, when we were done, we were going to watch a movie in the cabin.

The biggest bed in the cabin was a California King that Emily and I were supposed to share. However, the three of us managed to sit—or, in my case, lay—comfortably on the bed while watching Pride and Prejudice, which was JJ’s idea.

“If Hotch doesn’t say something as romantic as that on Monday,” Emily said after Mr. Darcy had proclaimed his love for Elizabeth for the first time, “then I’m pulling you off the altar, and I’m going to marry you myself.”

“I’ll be sure to keep that in mind,” I answered, playing along with her tease.

I fell asleep before the movie ended. When I woke up, I saw that Emily and JJ had fallen asleep, too, but they were wrapped in each other’s arms. I eyed them suspiciously for a moment before rolling out of bed to head to the bathroom. I really shouldn’t’ve eaten that much chocolate last night. My stomach was killing me, and I blamed it all on the snacks JJ brought.

“Y/N,” Emily’s voice followed a knock on the door, “are you okay?”

“Yeah. Just under the weather.”

“Nerves?”

“Or chocolate.”

She laughed. “Okay. Well, Garcia’s up, and she’s hungry, so we’re going to head to the meal hall, if you want to join us.”

“I’m good. Thanks.”

“We’ll check on you when we come back.”

They technically never got that chance because I fell back asleep soon after they left. It was supposed to be a relaxing weekend, and I was certainly taking them up on the opportunity. Considering Hotch and I were going to have the night before the wedding to ourselves, then our entire honeymoon, and then the rest of our lives… I knew I was going to be restless for a while. Besides, sleep was good. With our busy schedules, we hardly got a weekend to just relax. I liked that I got to spend all of this time with the girls, then sleep as much as I wanted, and I could rinse and repeat that cycle until Sunday afternoon.

And I did. By the time Sunday afternoon came around, I packed up my bag (the one Emily had packed for me without my knowing on Friday when she left for her lunch break), and we headed home. Garcia was not allowed to drive. She and I slept most of the drive home, my house being the first stop.

“Don’t let him leave any hickeys,” Emily warned as I got out of the car.

I chuckled. “No hickeys, must have a speech superior to Mr. Darcy’s, and…”

“And no breaking your heart. Ever.”

“And no breaking my heart. Got it. I’ll let him know.”

“Have fun,” JJ teased with a sing-song voice. “We’ll pick you up tomorrow!”

“Bye, my loves.”

“Bye…” Garcia groaned.

The three of us laughed at her before I waved to them while they slowly traveled down the neighborhood’s street. When they turned out of sight, I headed up to the house, unlocked the door, turned off the alarm, then headed to the kitchen to get a glass of water. My stomach had stopped hurting, but now I had a raging headache. I swore then and there that if I was sick on our wedding day, I was going to call every single person invited in order to tell them that the wedding was off before leaving to elope with Hotch.

“You’re back,” Hotch noted happily as he stepped into the kitchen.

“Headache,” I pointed to my temple.

“Sorry,” he whispered. “I’ll get you a Motrin.”

“Wait—”

“What?”

I grabbed his hand and pulled him towards me. “I love you.” I jumped up on my toes and kissed him gingerly. “How was your weekend?”

“I don’t think Morgan understands that strip clubs aren’t my thing.”

“It was more for them than you.”

“I know.”

“You got a lap dance, though, right?” I questioned with a grin.

“No!” he defended.

“Why not?” I pouted at him and played with the hem of his V-neck. “It would have been fun for you.” I ran my hands over his chest. “Wasn’t that the point of your weekend?”

Hotch wrapped his arms around my waist. “The only person I want to ever look at or touch is you.” He kissed me. “So, how ‘bout a lap dance—”

“Headache,” I reminded him.

“You’re a tease.”

“I know. Sir.”

He laughed and kissed my forehead gently to help heal my headache, then he left to get me a Motrin, like he promised. I made my way to the living room. Since Jessica must have been in on the weekend plans, Jack was spending the weekend at her house. We didn’t have to worry about looking after a kid for at least another two weeks because we were leaving for our honeymoon on Tuesday, and because Monday would be our wedding night… Well, Jessica had offered to just look after him until we got back from our vacation. No kid, just us. As much as I loved Jack, I also loved the idea of just getting to spend a lot of one-on-one time with Aaron. If we had met at a different point in our lives, a point where he didn’t have a kid, and might not have ever been married to Haley, then it was possible that Hotch and I would have done everything the classic, boring way. Date for a few years, get engaged, stay engaged for at least a year, then get married, go on vacation, then have a kid. That would have left us with years of alone time. But since we had Jack to look after—not that I minded that one bit— everything was backwards; and with the chaos and tragedy in our lives, we were in a rush to be the classic, boring, nuclear family.

Mom, dad, and kid. That was everyone’s dream, right? The big house, the perfect family, and maybe even a pet to make everyone happy. But we already had the big house and the perfect family. All that was left to do now was make it all official with the wedding certificate and the rings on our fingers. I’d be content at that point.

“Motrin, a heating pad, a blanket, and your favorite pillow,” Hotch said, entering the room with full hands.

I craned my neck to watch him walk around the back of the couch. “You’re amazing.” I took the Motrin from him as he sat down. “Thank you, baby.”

“Of course.”

Hotch shook out the blanket before laying it over my body, then plugged in the heating pad so that I could rest it on the back of my neck. By the time he had me situated, I was already relaxed. When he sat down beside me, he put my favorite pillow on his lap, a silent signal that he wanted me to lay down on him so that he could play with my hair until I could fall asleep.

“I know that this wasn’t exactly what you had in mind when we were talking about spending the night together,” I said apologetically. “I’m sorry.” He shushed me. “I haven’t been feeling well all weekend. It’s my own damn fault for eating that chocolate.”

“You’re here. That’s all that matters to me.”

I closed my eyes in response to the comforting feel of his fingers combing through my hair. When we had been talking about spending this night together, I imagined that I’d be tied to the bed with Hotch between my legs, torturing me endlessly. This was nice, though, like he said. It wasn’t imperative for us to have sex in order to be intimate. Yeah, it didn’t suck, but we were going to have plenty of time to tie each other up and fuck each other until we couldn’t breathe. Hell, we had our whole lives to do that. For now, I enjoyed just lying down on his lap, curled under a blanket, falling asleep as he massaged my scalp to ease my headache.

----

Monday morning, I woke up in our bed upstairs, Hotch cuddled up against my back. I smiled and kissed his knuckles. Hotch shuffled behind me as he was coaxed awake by my touch. Telling by the time, JJ, Emily, and Garcia were going to pick me up soon, but I didn’t want to leave our bed just yet. I was excited to get to the venue, but I was also fine where I was. Maybe we could just get married in bed.

“Good morning, my love,” he whispered groggily in my ear.

I hummed. “Good morning.”

“Is your headache gone?”

“Yeah. Did you carry me up here?”

“We fell asleep on the couch, and I woke up around seven, so I decided to bring you up here instead of leaving you down there.”

“Thank you.” I rolled over and kissed him, our eyes still shut. “I’m sorry, again, for last night.”

“Don’t be.”

“We could…” my hands drifted down his chest, “do something now…”

He moaned and tensed under my touch. “I thought we have to leave soon to get ready.”

“We’ll make enough time…”

“Not enough time for the black box, though.”

“We’ll just take it with us on the honeymoon.”

He grabbed my chin roughly. “Mmm… so, you want to be ruined for two weeks straight?”

“Yes, Sir.”

Hotch rolled on top of me, kissing me so roughly I couldn’t move or breathe. “Screaming my name and cumming for me over and over again?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“You’re always so needy for me.”

“Only for you, Sir—” I groaned with annoyance when my phone started ringing on my bedside table. “Just ignore it.” I grabbed his face to make him kiss me again. When the call went to voicemail, Hotch rolled his hips against mine, letting me feel how hard he was getting. “Sir…” And then the doorbell rang. “No,” I groaned again.

Hotch leaned back. “I think it’s time to go.”

“Can’t they wait?” I asked, running my index finger over the outline of his erection through his pajama pants. He moaned and fell forward. “Please?” The doorbell rang again, but this time, it didn’t stop. It kept ringing over and over again until it got annoying. “I’m going to fucking kill them.”

“You have to go.”

“I don’t want to yet.”

“I’ll see you in a few hours when you come down the aisle. Aren’t you excited for that?”

I nodded. “But what about you?” I asked, referencing his erection.

“I’ll handle it. You’ll have two weeks to make it up to me.”

I pouted, then kissed him again. “She’s not going to stop ringing the doorbell,” I said, rolling out of bed. Hotch sighed, falling onto his back, his hand snaking under the waistband of his pants to palm himself. I rubbed my thighs together at the sight. “I’m going to kill Emily Prentiss,” I said to myself.

When I opened the front door, Emily was snatching her hand away from the doorbell on the doorframe. She smiled innocently. I told her that I needed to change into something comfortable, then I would meet them in the car.

I was not responsible for my dress, my shoes, my jewelry, or anything of the sort. My mom was responsible for making sure all of that arrived at the venue on time. My job was to show up. That was it. I made it very clear to everyone that those who were showing up to the venue early had a responsibility. If something were to go wrong, it had to make it up a chain of command before getting to me. If something couldn’t be handled by JJ or Penelope, then it made its way to Emily, my maid of honor (since I didn’t have anyone else coming that I was as close to. She was one of my partners in the field, so it only made sense to ask her to do it.) If Emily couldn’t handle it, my mom probably could. If, by some off chance, my mother couldn’t take care of it, then it could become my problem. Other than that, I just wanted to sit in the bridal suite. I wanted to get ready in peace, have fun with my friends for a few hours before the ceremony, and talk with my mom. That was it. If anything or anyone were going to bother me, I was going to be pissed. I didn’t want to be a bridezilla, but it was reasonable for me to request an entire day off, alright.

Hotch was cleaning himself up in the shower while I got dressed in one of his college hoodies and a pair of leggings. Before I could even hear him start washing his hair, I was out the door and in the car with JJ, Garcia, and Emily again. Garcia seemed much better than the last time I saw her. She wasn’t completely out of it, which was a plus, considering I wanted her to be there for the day. Besides, if she showed up still hungover, I think I would be in more trouble than her when Morgan would have found out.

When we arrived at the venue, JJ parked to the side so that the vendors could move about freely within the parking lot; then, when they were done setting up inside, there would just be more space for the guests to park. We had found this amazing, quaint place that was surprisingly cheap. The building itself almost looked like a warehouse—but it was all sandstone brick and glass. It was one floor, but the walls were ridiculously tall, and the glass ceiling inside in some of the rooms made it feel only that much bigger. The set up of the building inside was like a square donut. There was the main lobby when we first walked in, but just behind that was a hallway on either side of the front desk, and just between those two hallways was a glass door that led to the huge open-air courtyard where a vendor was setting up all of the foldable white chairs for the guests during the ceremony.

Garcia pulled me down the left hallway before I could stare at the courtyard for too long. The left side of the building, for our purposes, was reserved as the bride’s suite. Meanwhile, the right side was for the boys. My mom was adamant about Hotch not seeing me at all after leaving our house up until the ceremony. All of the superstitions about a groom seeing the bride in her dress before the actual wedding had tricked my mother into thinking that if Aaron happened to waltz into the wrong room, I’d topple over and die right then and there. So, he was supposed to stay away. The boys had the entire right side of the donut, and the girls had the left side. It was fair enough.

When we stepped into one of the large rooms that had been designated as the suite itself, I saw my mom standing in front of a tall clothing rack where my dress was hanging. She was fussing with it. If there was even one wrinkle, my mother snuffed it out. She was going to do whatever it took to make sure that dress looked good, even if it killed her sanity. But, she stopped for a moment when she heard the door open, and she turned to see that it was us, and she smiled.

“Finally,” she cheered, flinging her arms around me.

I hugged her back. “Hi, Mom.”

“You look pale.”

“I wasn’t feeling well yesterday.”

“What is it?” She released me from our embrace. Her motherly worry was plastered to her face, and she’s trying to figure out what was wrong with me before I could even respond.

I shook my head. “Chocolate and nerves. It’s nothing, Mom.”

“Well, we’ll just cover it all up with makeup, anyhow.” She pointed to the makeup artist and hair stylist that were getting their things set up to the side. “Don’t even worry about it.” She peered over my shoulder to look at the girls. “Champagne and snacks are on the table over there,” she pointed to the left, “hair and makeup will call each of you over one at a time,” she pointed back at the two women who were still getting set up, “and then your dresses are hanging over there,” she pointed to the right where a clothing rack on wheels was holding up the dresses they bought—since Hotch and I weren’t exactly doing the whole bridesmaids and groomsmen thing.

If it were up to my mother, we would have had a much bigger and extravagant celebration with a wedding party and everything, but I argued against it. The compromise was that my mom could pay for ridiculous things like champagne and snacks, while I got to decide that the ceremony would be small, short, and easy. So, my mom offered to pay for the girls’ dresses and the guys’ tuxes, as long as I got to stay adamant about not having matching dresses and having them walk down the aisle before me. My mom was fine with that.

“The bride goes last,” Mom continued. “So, just sit down and relax for a bit, baby.” She gestured to the two large couches over by the champagne and snacks, silently telling us to sit down and stay out of the way until we were called up to do something important.

I threw my hands up in surrender. There was really no point in fighting my mother about all of this, especially on an important day like my wedding. She was a… controlling woman. Elle got that from her. My mother liked knowing that everything was perfect and that she could handle it all herself, and if I got in the way by arguing, I was going to lose that fight. Not that I even wanted to try. Like I said, I wanted to lay back and relax. I was going to keep my feet up until I had to get into my dress and walk down the aisle towards Hotch, and then, I’d crash again.

“Want any?” JJ asked, holding up the bottle of champagne for me to see the offer. I shook my head. She cocked a brow at me, eyes searching all of me for answers. “You’re sure you’re okay?”

“You’re not having second thoughts, are you?” Garcia asked worriedly.

I shook my head. “Of course not.” I sat down abruptly. “I’m just nervous.”

“What’s there to be nervous about?”

“I don’t know,” I admitted with a laugh.

The four of us reclined, but the three of them kept chatting while I sat by, watching as they drank champagne. There wasn’t a reason to be nervous. I knew that. Of course I knew that. I loved Aaron, he loved me, and we wanted to get married more than anything. This had been our dream for a few years, but it never worked out for one reason or another. But, finally, the timing worked out. Finally, there was nothing standing in our way… and yet, I was still panicking. I didn’t doubt that this was the right thing to do and that we would be happy together. I just couldn’t put my finger on what it was that really had me all wound up.

And then my mom whistled lightly from the doorway. Growing up, that was her call to me and Elle whenever we were out in public and she needed us to be by her side and behaving within an instant. I’d recognize that whistle anywhere. It was like saying: “Mom needs you now, and if you don’t come over here, she’s going to be mad.” So, I pushed myself to my feet and headed to the door,

“What is it?” I asked. “Is it Aaron?”

My mom chuckled at my panic. “No. He’s okay. Your dad’s giving him a hard time, but he’s okay, I promise. I need to show you something, though.” She grabbed my hand and snuck me out of the room before anyone could notice because the girls’ attention was on Garcia, who was sliding into her dress now. I followed my mom with a hesitant stride. “Come on, it’s a good surprise, Y/N.”

“I don’t understand—Shouldn’t I be getting into my dress?”

“In a minute. You’ll want to see this first.” She opened the back door of the venue, leading us into the alleyway. I cocked a concerned brow at my mother. “There.” She pointed, and I followed her gaze.

There was a figure standing in the shadows, hiding their face under the hood they were wearing, and their figure was hidden under all of the layers. It didn’t make any sense. Who the hell was that? Why would my mother risk bringing me out here? I tried asking my mom, but she only pushed me forward as an encouragement. I rolled my eyes and walked a few more steps towards the stranger.

And then I stumbled to a halt. Her face was familiar, like I had only seen her just yesterday, but everything else about her was different. Her hair, her style, her posture, even the way she did her makeup. She was half a stranger, half a reminder of home and family. A shuddered breath left my lips.

“Elle…”

When I saw her smile back at me and open her arms for a hug, I ran to her and crashed against her chest. Her arms wrapped around me tightly. I hugged her waist, squeezing her until she tapped on my shoulder for me to release.

“What are you doing here? I didn’t know how to invite you—”

“Mom sent me the invite,” Elle answered. I smiled against her shoulder and squeezed harder. She laughed at how she couldn’t breathe now. “I had to see you.”

“Wait ‘til I tell Aaron and Derek; they’ll be so excited!”

Elle suddenly pushed me out of our hug so that I could see her stern face. “You can’t tell anyone I was here, Y/N.”

“What?”

“Especially Hotch.”

“What are you talking about?”

She shook her head. “I don’t want you to worry about it.” She grabbed my hands before making me spin around in a small circle for her. “Look at you!”

I wasn’t fooled, however, by her attempt to distract me from what was really going on. All this time, I didn’t know why she left, where she went, what she was doing, and I certainly didn’t think anyone had contact with her, let alone my parents. When I thought about inviting her, I tried calling her old phone number, which had been disconnected. When I tried her email, it didn’t go through. And when I asked my parents if they knew anything, they said that they would handle it. Of course, I didn’t understand what that meant at the time. But now that my sister was standing in front of me for the first time in two and a half years, I thought I would want to be happy and distracted with her, but now I just wanted answers. So, I asked. All of these burning questions that had been churning in my head over the past few years finally spewed out of me. There was nothing I could do to stop or control it. There was just so much, yet so little time.

Elle looked at the ground and kicked a pebble around. “It was just in everyone’s best interest if I left,” she finally said. That wasn’t a real answer. We both knew that it wasn’t enough for me, yet… I didn’t fight. It was the weirdest thing. For once, when it came to Elle, I didn’t pry. “I’m really happy for you, Y/N.” She looked up at me and smiled. It wasn’t faux or forced. It was a genuine smile that she always wore.

I couldn’t believe I almost forgot how much her smile made my day, and how her laugh was like music to my ears, and how much I just fucking missed her. She had been gone so long, she had turned into a distant memory in the back of my mind. Now that she was there, however, everything was returning to me like she hadn’t been gone even a day.

“You’re not going to come in; are you?” I questioned, my smile fading. Hers disappeared, too. “Morgan and Reid miss you a lot. I know they would really love to just see you one more time—”

“Y/N, I can’t. I made promises to people, and I made promises to myself. This part of my life is behind me.”

“So, then, what are you doing with your life?”

“Traveling. A lot.”

I smiled. “Really?”

“Yeah,” she said, smiling back. “I always wanted to get out and see the world, you know that.”

Actually, no, I didn’t know that. Elle had a very specific idea as to what her life would look like, and I knew what those plans were because it was practically the same dream I had for myself, too. Because of her dad, she wanted to become a cop, so she did. Because of my dad, I wanted to join the FBI, so I did. There was never any mention of getting out to see the world. How could we afford to go traveling all the time when our careers always came first to everything else? She had been doing so well for herself in Seattle, and then she joined the BAU. Things were really working out for her. Yet, the one time she decided to travel outside of the country for vacation, her entire life fell apart. One would think that experience would have stayed her secret urge to travel. However, it didn’t. I couldn’t blame her, though, for wanting to get out and travel the world, if that was really what she wanted, and if she was happy doing it—and it seemed like she was really happy. That was all I ever wanted for her. So, I didn’t argue.

“What have you been doing while traveling?” I asked. The FBI paid well, but not well enough to travel and spend money for the rest of her life without working.

“Oh, you know…” she trailed off. I shook my head because I didn’t know. She was being awfully vague and awkward. Maybe it was just the fact that we hadn’t talked in so long, so there was a disconnect; but we had gone decades without talking while she was working sex crimes in Seattle and I was stuck in Quantico. This was no different than that. So, what gave? “Partying and boys, mostly.”

I squinted at her. “You’re not working at all?”

“I don’t need to. I keep a pretty low profile while I’m out there.”

“Someone’s coming,” Mom hissed from the back door of the venue just down the alley.

When I turned to give her an acknowledging nod, I suddenly felt Elle crash into me for another hug. She wasn’t a big hugger. In fact, Elle struggled most times with any kind of affection. I was pretty sure that it stemmed from the fact that she lost her father, her favorite person, when she was really young, and she didn’t know how to cope with that loss. Our mom wasn’t a very affectionate person either, which was possibly where Elle got it from, but it also made sense that Mom didn’t know how to console and love Elle the same way her dad, which was just another disconnect to the idea of affection for her. But there were moments like these where Elle would find courage within herself to show her love for me. A hug was so small. Jack and Hotch hugged me all the time. Morgan and Emily hugged me all the time. I was a big hugger. Not Elle, though. That was why this had caught me so off guard, and actually made me break into tears.

“I don’t want you to go,” I whispered into her hair.

“I know.”

“Elle,” Mom hissed another warning.

So, Elle released me from her embrace. “I’ll see you around.”

I knew that was a lie. There was no way she was ever going to come back again. I could see it in her eyes and in her behavior. Sometimes, especially in moments like these, I really hated being a profiler. “I’ll see you around.”

Elle smiled lightly at me as she pulled the hood of her jacket over her head, then turned on her heels and calmly made her way out of the alley while keeping her head down.

“What are you two doing out here?” Dad asked, walking into past Mom to see me standing alone in the alleyway. “Aren’t you supposed to be getting into your dress?”

Mom hit his bicep, then started pulling him back inside. “Stop messing with perfection.”

Even though they were divorced, the two of them were still close, and they were comfortable with playing around like that. They almost reminded me of how I was around Morgan. We were serious, but we loved each other, and we knew how to be silly in order to show affection and lighten the cloudy days of our lives. My mom and dad did all of those things, too. It was a wonder they got divorced in the first place. I mean, now that I was older, and there was hindsight and all, I knew that they got divorced because their jobs got in the way; the same reason Hotch and Haley got a divorce. They still loved each other, and they still loved me and Elle, but it was just hard for them to be apart so often. Mom was always off traveling the world for the CIA, meanwhile Dad was stuck at the Academy, teaching a bunch of kids whose dream was to be in the FBI, just like mine had always been. They just got busy. Work got in the way, but they never fell out of love.

Honestly, though, that was the reason I had so much hope for mine and Hotch’s relationship. We worked together. Our time at work and home were spent together. There were only a handful of times when we really missed each other; but we always knew that we would come back together and keep working cases together, or go home to fuck each other until our minds stopped working. We worked because of that. Our job didn’t get in the way of our relationship, which meant that it was just one less thing we had to worry about.

Mom poked her head back out of the venue to ask if I was alright. When I nodded and forced a smile onto my face, she invited me back inside, and led me to the bridal suite so that I could get my hair and make up done before sliding into my dress. “Guests are starting to show up,” she explained frantically while pushing me into the hair and makeup seat. The two women who had just finished getting JJ ready immediately started attacking my hair and face before I could even register what the hell was happening.

“Can you let me know if Sean shows up?” I asked.

My mom stared at me with wide eyes through the mirror. “You invited him? Why didn’t you—” She sucked in a deep breath, then let it out slowly. “Does Aaron know?”

“No.” I didn’t tell anyone on purpose.

When I invited Sean, I had done it secretly after Hotch insisted that he didn’t want his brother to be a part of the ceremony as best man or groom—or whatever the hell we were doing. After Haley’s funeral, when we realized that Sean hadn’t shown up, Hotch promised that he was done with his brother for good. But I just couldn’t let them fall out like this. To be fair, a lot of people didn’t come to Haley’s funeral for one reason or another. I knew that Sean was somewhat of a fuck up, but he didn’t deserve to be punished for showing up to Hotch’s ex-wife’s funeral… Right?

By the time I was done getting “prettied up”, as my mother would put it, and I shimmied into my dress, there was still no news of Sean, or, frankly, Elle. Some part of me held out hope that she would have turned around to come back and see me walk down the aisle. Maybe I was foolish. But I always thought that my sister would be there for my wedding day. Even though she and I didn’t exactly get along sometimes, and there was a fair period of time where we didn’t talk, I imagined that she would be there. I imagined that she would be celebrating this day with me. Perhaps that was why I had invited Sean, too, because Hotch secretly felt the same way about having his brother there. Maybe the two of us were just destined for each other and that was it… We didn’t deserve our families. I mean, Aaron’s family didn’t deserve him; but I knew that he always wished that he had grown up in a better family. It was a miracle that he turned out the way he did. He was so close to becoming Sean; but he didn’t. That was admirable.

“Everyone decent?” Dad asked after knocking on the door suddenly, snapping me out of my train of thought. Mom told him that he could come in. As he stepped inside, his mouth fell agape, a small smile crawling onto his face. “Y/N…”

“You’re not allowed to cry yet, Ken,” Mom scorned.

“Yes, ma’am.” He saluted her. As she rolled her eyes and giggled at his silliness, she started ushering the girls out of the bridal suite so that they could go find seats at the ceremony and let everyone know that we were about to start. The door closed behind them. “You ready for this?”

I nodded. “Yeah.”

“It’s not too late to back out now,” he joked.

“Do you want me to?”

He shook his head. “Not in a million years.”

“You like him, right, Dad?”

He stared at me for a moment, his smile fading so that he could pout at my doubt. “I think he’s perfect for you, Y/N. I’ve never seen you so happy. As long as he makes you happy, and as long as he treats you well, I’ll love him like he’s my own.” I smiled at the ground. “And, no, I don’t think it’s weird that he’s older than you.”

“I know you don’t,” I played along.

He stepped forward and tilted my head up with the side of his curled index finger. “Let’s get the boring part over with, shall we?” I nodded. “Alright.” He turned and opened the door, holding out his arm for me so that I could loop my arm with his.

When we stepped into the hallway, the woman who had done my hair handed me my flower bouquet to carry down the aisle, to which I quietly thanked her for. We traveled down the hall a few steps before I stopped. Dad took a step forward like he was already going to lead me down the aisle, but I felt frozen in place. Deep down, I knew that I was ready to marry Aaron Hotchner. I knew that I wanted nothing more than to finally call myself Y/N Hotchner, and to be his entirely. Yet, I couldn’t seem to move my feet. The corner was right there, with the aisle just past it, and Hotch waiting at the end of it. He was waiting for me, and I was absolutely panicking.

I didn’t want us to fail. That was the first time I had admitted it to myself like that. I knew that we were destined for great things and that we loved each other so much, but I was terrified of failing him like Haley failed him. He had been through so much, and I really, really didn’t want to let him down like everyone else had. I knew that he made me happy, and that I made him happy… but what would happen if I ever lost him? I couldn’t bear to think—

“It’s going to be alright,” Dad promised, squeezing my hand.

My breath sputtered as a tear slipped down my cheek. “Were you this scared when you married Mom?”

He smiled and nodded. “I thought that I was going to throw up all over my tux.”

“What helped?”

“Seeing your mom come down the aisle,” he answered quickly, like he had anticipated the question. “I remember that I couldn’t stop shaking and my head wouldn’t stop spinning, but then I saw her, and everything suddenly made sense.” He reached up and wiped the tear from my cheek. “Once you see him, you’ll feel better. I promise.”

“I don’t want to fall over,” I admitted. I was so nervous about taking that first step and tripping over myself. I felt like I could collapse at any second between the panic coursing through my veins and the tightness in my lungs.

“I won’t let you.”

I let my eyes flutter closed before taking in a deep breath, holding it, then slowly releasing it. I did it again, this time a little faster, and my head stopped spinning long enough for me to nod a signal that I was ready. He squeezed my hand again, then took another step, pulling me along carefully. I finally took the first step forward. I felt a sigh of relief leave my chest as I realized that I hadn’t fallen over yet. We took another step, this time with a longer, braver stride, and I felt more confidence wash over me. I was one step closer to seeing him, and that was enough to encourage me to keep going. So, we continued on, one step after the other, slowly gaining speed until we hit the cliché wedding walk pace. We reached the corner, and I closed my eyes again as my breath picked up once more. Hotch was waiting just around the corner. I would see him for the first time on our wedding day, and for the last time as my fiancé. This was real. It was really happening. We were about to do this.

“Just find him and breathe,” my dad whispered.

I nodded again, and he led me around the corner. I opened my eyes as I heard the audience rise to their feet and turn to face me. I looked around the space, spotting the team at the back of the crowd, spread out amongst the bride and groom’s sides. Morgan was standing on my side, just beside the aisle, and he smiled at me. I felt my racing heart slow down a bit when I managed to smile back, but it wasn’t until I looked past the crowd and down the aisle to find Hotch standing with Jack at his side that I finally found tranquility. Every bit of panic left me in one, relieving wave. Every ounce of worry or conflict disappeared without a trace. Just like my dad said, when Hotch’s eyes met mine, I suddenly forgot how scared I was, and I was overwhelmed by happiness and excitement. I felt like I could start running down the aisle now if it meant that I would just be in his arms again.

My eyes pouted, but I smiled at him as brightly as I could. He was smiling back, even though his jaw was practically on the floor in response to seeing me in my dress. And all I could think about was getting to kiss his lips for the first time as his wife. I wished we could skip the whole ceremony altogether and just get to that part. I wished that I could teleport down the aisle and jump into arms, both of us refusing to let go of one another.

We took another step and I watched as Jack looked up at his dad, both of them sharing a smile of excitement between each other. With every row of the crowd we passed, I felt my speed pick up, almost like I was dragging my dad along with me now instead of the other way around. I was in a rush to finally get there, hear that we were married, kiss him, and hold him in my arms forever as husband and wife. There wasn’t a moment to waste.

As we passed the last row, I felt myself nearly trip over my dress as I got a little too excited with my steps. Dad caught me, just like he promised, and I chuckled to myself slightly, looking up at Hotch to see that he was acting like nothing happened. Dad leaned in when we were standing just in front of Hotch, Jack, and the officiant. He kissed my cheek and squeezed my hand one last time before untangling our fingers and unlinking our arms. I felt my nerves return as I realized that there was no one there to hold me upright anymore, no one to catch me if I were to trip again.

I felt my anxiety return, my heart racing in my chest, my blood pumping in my arms, my lungs struggling to take normal breaths, my head beginning to spin. I closed my eyes, trying to find my balance and my ground— and then I felt him. His large hand was over mine on my bouquet, his thick fingers trying to pry my left hand away from the flowers. I let him do as he wished, my eyes fluttering open as he took my hand in his and pulled me towards him carefully.

Hotch’s eyes met mine as he led me to stand closer to him, my right shoulder facing the crowd. We stared at each other with that same light that I noticed every morning when we woke up and he would remember how happy he was to have me there with him. I got lost in his chocolate brown eyes as he lifted his other hand up to my face and brushed some of my hair back behind my ear.

“How obvious was I?” I asked quietly.

Hotch bit back a laugh. “I don’t think anyone noticed.”

“Trick question. If you noticed, everyone noticed,” I snickered. Without warning, he leaned in slowly and pressed a gentle, loving kiss against me. It felt like a ghost had barely kissed me. Just as I felt that he was there, he was gone. “You’re supposed to save that for the end,” I whispered as he pulled away slightly, his breath still hot on my nose.

He kissed me again with the same considerate touch. “I couldn’t help myself.”

“Friends and family,” the officiant began loudly, practically tearing me and Hotch apart due to shock. We giggled at each other quietly. “We’ve gathered here today to celebrate the joyous union of Y/N Greenaway and Aaron Hotchner. As I understand it, the bride and the groom have both prepared something to say before we start with the official vows.”

Hotch nodded, squeezing my hand that he was holding. He released me for a short moment so that he could fish out his speech from the inside pocket of his suit jacket. I giggled at him. He was shaking just as hard as I was, and it was made plain to me when the flimsy paper trembled in his touch. He smiled at my giggle. “The past two years have been… taxing, to say the least. Together, we’ve really been rung through the works, and there were times when I thought we wouldn’t make it to this day for one reason or another. But for the past three years, you have stuck by my side, no matter what, and you’ve given me a reason every day to keep pushing and keep living. I wouldn’t be here today without you. It’s true. Every day, I look at you and Jack, and I remember that I love you both more than anything in the world. I know that I will always fight for you because I love you, and no matter what the world throws at us, that will never change. Your messes are my messes, Y/N. I wouldn’t trade that for anything in the world. I swear that from this day on, I will be by your side, supporting every decision you make, cheering you on while you make a difference in the world, and loving you as vigorously as I can until my dying day. I promise to never hold anything back from you—emotionally, physically, spiritually… and, of course, when it comes to secrets. My whole world belongs to you, Y/N, and I want it to remain that way until my last breath, or until the world stops spinning. I love you.”

I smirked and bit my lip. “I love you, too.”

“Stop biting,” he whispered dominantly.

“I can’t help it.”

“Your turn,” the officiant said to me.

“Right—” I said with a laugh. I surprised Hotch by letting go of his hand so that I could dig into the right-side pocket of my dress to retrieve my speech. “Pockets,” I teased him. He bit his lip. “Don’t bite.”

“I can’t help it,” he whispered through his teeth.

I rolled my eyes at him before glancing down at my paper. I had written it a thousand times before landing on this version that I was… satisfied with. Unfortunately, there weren’t enough words to tell Hotch how much I loved him. At least, there weren’t the right words. I used what the English vocabulary had available, seeking out some of Reid’s help, if I were being honest, but it still wasn’t exactly what I meant. There would never be a speech long enough to list all of the ways I loved Aaron Hotchner. Even if the words to express my love for him existed, my lungs probably would have given out before I could have finished telling him. The good news was, he knew. Hotch knew the truth. This whole show was for the people we loved, like Jack, my parents, and the team. This was for them to see how infinite my love was for him. Hotch didn’t need to hear it. Every kiss I pressed to his lips was my way of telling him in the only way that made sense. Telling him: “I love you” were the only words that came anywhere close to what I meant. Scratching his back as he thrusted into me was a way of telling him that he was mine, and that I loved him, and I would never stop loving him. He knew all of that. So, even though words failed me during that speech, I knew that the one person there who knew the truth about my love for Aaron Hotchner was the only one who mattered.

“I made a promise to you once that I would love you unconditionally and I would always fight for you. It took you a long time to believe me when I said that your messes are my messes, but they are, and they always will be. No matter what, I will never stop loving you for that very reason. I do love you, Aaron. I love you and I love Jack more than anything in the whole, wide world. You welcomed me into your life, into your home, and into your family. You let me love your son like he’s my own, and I know that I will spend the rest of my life thanking you for that opportunity. And I want to spend my life thanking you. I want to spend every second by your side, running around the country while we do what we love, coming home to our son to hold him in our arms, and repeating that process. I love my life with you. I love you. No one can ever take that away from us. Ever.”

He gave me a look that asked if he could kiss me. I had to shake my head because we still had to get through the rest of the ceremony, and I wanted the very next kiss to be the first one that would start off the rest of our lives together. I wanted it to be the kiss. I didn’t want to ever forget the next kiss. So, I glanced away from him, just to deter his urge.

The officiant looked to Hotch, “Please repeat after me. ‘I, Aaron Hotchner.’”

Hotch reached up to my face and brushed some of my hair back behind my ear. “I, Aaron Hotchner.” He continued to repeat every line, each one gaining in speed as his excitement took over. “Take you, Y/N Greenaway… To have and to hold… For better or for worse… In sickness and in health… To love, to cherish, to appreciate for as long as we both shall live.”

I had memorized the words before the officiant even turned to me. I knew that I had to be patient, and to repeat the same words at the same pace that Hotch had just done, but I wanted nothing more than to just race through it, say “I do” then kiss my husband for the first time. But patience was key. So, when the officiant started, I followed.

“I, Y/N Greenaway, take you, Aaron Hotchner, to have and to hold, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health. To love, to cherish, to appreciate for as long as we both shall live.”

It felt like a million pounds had been lifted off my chest by the time we got through it all. The long part was done, and now came the best part. The words “husband and wife” barely left the officiant’s lips before Hotch and I were jumping each other. He grabbed my hips roughly, pulling me against him as eagerly as possible, and he tilted his head down. I swung my arms around his neck, letting him lift me off the ground somewhat, and I pressed my lips to his for the first time as his wife. I smiled against him. Hotch giggled as the officiant finally said the cliché: “You may kiss the bride” a few seconds too late.

“Don’t let go yet,” Hotch begged before kissing me again.

I pulled away for air. “I’ll never let go.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.” I leaned into him. “I love you—” We kissed.

----

At the reception, I felt my head spinning. It was like an out of body experience. I was standing there beside Hotch, his arm wrapped around my waist, his hand on my hip; and we were talking to everyone who had come to the wedding and wanted to give us their personal congratulations. But I just couldn’t hear them. I was staring at Hotch, admiring how perfect he was. He was finally mine. I couldn’t believe that only a few hours ago, we were standing on the altar, sliding our wedding bands onto each other’s ring fingers. And now we were standing there… And I was just trying not to tip over. Even if I did waver, Hotch would have caught me. I trusted him with my life, and I understood that he could catch me if I ever fell—just like he had caught me when I tripped somewhat on my way down the aisle. He had me. I was all his, and he was all mine. We would always be there to protect each other.

“Oh, look, it’s my favorite taken agent,” someone cheered before tickling my sides. I laughed and gently sent my elbow back into his stomach. He playfully groaned after releasing me so that he could guard his stomach. “Man down! Man down!”

I turned and hit his arm. “Derek Morgan, you are acting like a child.”

“Only for you, sweetness.” He reached out to wing his arms around my shoulders, pulling me in for a tight hug that we both strained our strength for. “I’m so happy for you.”

Before I could respond, I felt someone tap my shoulder for their attention, and then they were quickly prying me off of Morgan. I giggled again as she pulled me into a hug that was even tighter than the last one I had just been trapped in. Emily laughed. “I told you they’d all see the truth,” she said giddily in my ear.

“Is he a Mr. Darcy contender or what?” I whispered back. We both laughed as we parted. I stared at her for a moment, admiring her smile. “I love you, Em. I don’t say it enough. But I do.”

She smiled and punched my arm lightly. “What’s got you being all sappy?”

“Mr. Darcy.”

“Ah. Yeah, I can see how that could happen.” She searched my face. “You look better than yesterday.”

“I feel better. It was just nerves.”

“Are we all congratulating the bride?” I heard a familiar voice ask behind me.

I smiled and turned. “Cody!”

I hugged him—but this wasn’t like with Morgan or Emily. No. Cody was the Director of the FBI, and therefore he was still my boss. Yes, Hotch and I were good friends with him, but there still had to be some level or respect and professionalism with him around while still outside of work. So, our hug was brief and polite. It didn’t mean much. But the looks on Morgan and Emily’s faces were priceless, honestly.

“They’re playing a slow dance for us,” Hotch told me. He grabbed my hand and started pulling me to the dance floor before I could finish talking with the Director and Emily, or even really get a chance to wave goodbye to them.

I giggled at how fast everything was happening. One second I was on the altar with him, then I was talking to Morgan and Emily, then the Director butted in, and now I was dancing with Aaron—my husband. The world was wild sometimes.

“You shouldn’t interrupt me next time.” I brushed his hair back out of his face then scratched my fingers down his five o’clock shadow.

He smirked and leaned in to whisper in my ear. “But you’re all mine now, and I don’t want you to forget it.”

“I’m all yours,” I whispered back, cupping my palm over his cheek. “Always.”

He pulled me close for a kiss until our chests were touching and he was almost towering over me, his hands on the small of my back the only thing keeping me from falling to the ground. I let my arms curl around the back of his neck. We giggled against each other’s lips as we ran out of breath, but he was adamant on still kissing me and proving his dominance to me as if no one were watching. Well, as if all of our friends and family at our wedding weren’t watching. That only made me laugh harder.

He nibbled on my jaw. “I love you, Y/N.”

I tangled my fingers in his hair, pulling at the strands lightly until he removed his lips from my skin in order to let me get a proper look at him. His eyes were dialed, a sign of love and lust. He was so predictable. But he had enough self-restraint to recognize that he couldn’t jump me then and there while everyone was watching as we swayed, laughed, and kissed. My mom was smiling and crying, thinking that we were the cutest, most innocent thing she had ever seen. If only she knew. My dad, on the other hand—as well as Rossi and Morgan—had a look that said: If you hurt Y/N, we’ll kill you ourselves. He would never hurt me, though. I knew that better than anyone else. Aaron Hotchner cherished me more than I could ever cherish him; and that sometimes frustrated me, but it ultimately made me feel infinitely and unconditionally loved.

Hotch rotated us as we continued to sway. I could now see the other side of the room where Emily, Reid, Garcia, JJ were all standing, pointing and gawking at us. I rolled my eyes at them. They were so embarrassing sometimes. But I loved them. Endlessly. There was nothing they could ever do or say that would make me love them any less. It just wasn’t possible. They were my family, and I was theirs, and that meant the whole world to me, considering the way my family fell apart. My parents split up for dumb reasons, and my sister was off the grid, becoming a free-spirit or some shit like that. Now, however, I had Jack and Hotch, my real family. It was a nice consolation that I had the BAU in my corner, there to protect me and save me if need be, there to love me or scold me if I fucked up on a case. Even JJ, the one who doubted mine and Hotch’s relationship since the beginning, was a part of that family, and I still valued her opinion and her love. Like I said, I would always love them. If we fought, so be it. But, in the end, we were always going to be siblings, in a way.

“Do you ever wonder what the team would look like if Elle and Gideon were still there?” I asked Hotch quietly.

He cocked a brow at me. We had gone from practically sticking our tongues down each other’s throats to talking about random, old memories. I understood why it caught him off guard. I understood that it probably wasn’t the best time to ask; but it had been weighing on my mind as we swayed to the slow music.

“Sometimes,” Hotch agreed. “But I’m extremely grateful that we found Emily, and that Rossi came back.”

I nodded and rested my cheek against his chest. “I miss them.”

“I know.”

“Even though Gideon was a total asshole.”

Hotch chuckled. “Yeah. Even then.”

As the song came to a slow, steady end, Hotch and I parted from our embrace to kiss again, this time with a little less lust and a little more passion. And then Bohemian Rhapsody started playing. I laughed and pressed my forehead against his.

“I should probably let you get back to chatting with everyone,” he whispered.

I shook my head. “Just dance with me for a little longer.”

Hotch grinned, grabbing my hand, then stepped back from me before pulling me in and spinning me around until my back hit his chest. I was wrapped in a hug now. I rested my head against him, letting us sway and bounce to the music at a faster pace than we had been going with the last song; and since the slow dance was over, everyone else had wandered back onto the floor, too. So, Rossi wandered over. Jazz hands out, feet shuffling, his iconic Italian smirk on his face, he came to congratulate us.

“Bella!” he cheered, reaching to grab my face between his palms. “You two certainly know how to put on a show.” He kissed each of my cheeks roughly. “You, on the other hand,” he said, turning to Aaron, “need a few dancing lessons. I’m available on Thursday evenings." He patted Hotch’s shoulders.

“I know how to dance,” Hotch argued playfully.

“Clearly not.”

We all giggled. That was when I spotted a familiar face from across the room, which caught me off guard. He was sitting at the bar we had, ordering yet another drink from the bartender who hadn’t cut him off yet. I shook my head. Of course, he was late. And of course, he had to be getting drunk the first chance he got. I didn’t want to hold any biases against him, but he was making it really hard to keep defending him when he continued to pull shit like this and refuse to recognize that it was a problem. I just wished that he would let us help him.

I looked at Hotch and excused myself for a moment. He nodded an acknowledgement before turning back to his conversation and I left to walk across the room. “Taking advantage of the open bar?” I asked as I approached Sean.

He turned with a full glass in his hand. When he saw that it was me, he rolled his eyes slightly. “That’s what it’s here for, isn’t it?”

“Aaron’ll cut you off eventually.”

“I’ll be gone before then.”

“Will you even try to talk to him?”

“He doesn’t want me here. Why would I?” Sean sighed while setting his glass down. “Sorry. I know that it’s your day, and I have no right to stir up family drama.” He smiled. “I’m happy for you guys.” He started to walk away, but I caught his bicep.

I searched his eyes. “He really does love you, Sean. He’s just been hurt too many times.”

“Yeah, well… Him and everyone else in the world.” He pulled his arm away from me before striding off.

I sighed in defeat while shifting my weight on the balls of my feet. I just wanted them to make up. Ever since Haley’s death last year, Hotch had gone out of his way to make sure that none of us were affiliated with Sean. When he didn’t show up to the funeral, that was Hotch’s breaking point. He needed his brother there, yet Sean was too busy doing who knew what. Like, what could have been more important than that funeral? I didn’t understand. However, I still wanted Sean around because I knew that Hotch and Jack both needed him in their lives. Hotch, on the other hand, wasn’t having it. This was why. I should have known better. I should have known that Sean would still disappoint, no matter what. At least he showed up at all.

“Thank you,” someone whispered in my ear as they snaked their arms around my waist. I rested my head back against their shoulder. “You tried… That’s all you can do.”

I shook my head. “I thought he would just try to talk to you.”

Hotch ran his hands over the fabric of my dress, my stomach tensing up because it tickled a bit. “It’s okay.” He kissed my neck. “Hey.” He was trying to catch my attention, so I hummed a tone that asked him what was on his mind. “You wanna get out of here?”

“It’s our own wedding.”

“They won’t miss us anymore. All the important stuff is over.”

“It’ll be embarrassingly obvious.”

He hummed and smiled against my ear. “How about this…” He grabbed my hips roughly. “We’re leaving. Now.”

I gulped at the dominating, stern tone that practically vibrated throughout my entire body, sending a chill up my spine in response. Well, that was a preview as to what the next two weeks were going to be like for me. It made me smile. “Yes, Sir.”

Hotch nibbled at my earlobe light before whispering, “I love you.”

I turned my head so that I was looking at him while still resting against his shoulder. I kissed him. “I love you, too.”

--------

criminal minds family: @peggy1999 @gorgeousdarkangel @alex--awesome--22 @oceaneblu @brithedemonspawn @absolutemarveltrash @bshelley322 @rousethemouse @sunshinepower17 @weexinling @pettttyyyc

#Criminal Minds #criminal minds fanfic #Criminal Minds Fanfiction #criminal minds smut #criminal minds imagine #aaron hotchner #Aaron Hotch Hotchner #aaron hotchner fanfic #aaron hotchner fanfiction #aaron hotchner imagine

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shifty-looking-sheep · 4 years

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Mass Effect Trilogy, Mass Effect - All Media Types Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Kaidan Alenko/Female Shepard Characters: Female Shepard, Kaidan Alenko, Garrus Vakarian, Tali'Zorah nar Rayya, Liara T'Soni, Jeff "Joker" Moreau, Urdnot Wrex, Admiral Hackett, Dr Chakwas, Engineer Adams Additional Tags: Post-War, Destroy Ending (Mass Effect), Happy Ending, Wedding Fluff, Wedding Speeches, Embarrassment, friends teasing, Reminiscing, Reminiscing about Normandy SR1, Post-Mass Effect 3, Friends notice everything, Teasing

Summary:

Shepard wasn't scared to commit; it was the actual wedding she was scared of, and now she realised why.

The crew of the SR1 show that they were paying attention more than Shepard and Kaidan had previously thought.

It took a full year for her to give in. Not that she didn’t want to commit; she’d been committed way before she admitted it to herself, and years before she admitted it to him; sometime between her throwing him out of the way of the beacon on Eden Prime, and seeing the blush creep up his neck as she came to speak to him after Noveria. A really long time. It was the actual wedding she was scared of, and now she realised why.

“So, the crew of the SR1 realised Shepard was interested in Lieutenants pretty early on.”

Snorts of laughter wafted over from a table of Normandy crew. Kaidan’s mum giggled from the other end of the top table. But most worrying of all, she could see that Admiral Hackett had raised an eyebrow.

Dr Chakwas continued, apparently unconcerned by the horrified look etched onto Shepard’s face.

“I believe I was there right at the beginning. The ground team had just returned from Eden Prime; the Commander had been injured and was out cold. The then-Lieutenant hadn’t left her side, of course. When she came to, they had a who-can-apologise-the-most competition, until the Commander told the Lieutenant that he had nothing to apologise for, and his face did something like this…”

The doctor waited for everyone’s attention before pulling a ridiculous, eyebrow-raised flirty face. Kaidan groaned and hid his face behind his hand. Shepard couldn’t help but smirk at the memory.

“And then, the next day, the Commander came back to the med bay to ask what I knew about the Lieutenant, in a ridiculous fake-nonchalant tone,” Dr Chakwas affected a Shepard-like low voice while twisting her hair between her fingers. “Um, so, er, what can you tell me about the Lieutenant, you know, professionally, or, you know, whatever.”

Garrus snorted some of his drink out of his nose, while Shepard sunk a little lower in her seat. Kaidan turned an amused eye to her and cocked his head. “Subtle, Jane, “ he breathed, looking slyly satisfied with himself.

“So, I quickly caught her up on what being an L2 was like, and the medical support I needed to offer for his migraines etc. and she pulled a face like she’d just seen a puppy with three legs.” The doctor exaggeratedly exhaled and batted her eyelashes. “And that’s how I was the first one on the SR1 to find out that there was something going on between them.”

Dr Chakwas sat back down at her table as the laughter started dying down. Shepard gave her what she hoped was an angry glare, but the doctor just winked in return.

“Thanks Karin, but I don’t think you can count raised eyebrows as the start of a relationship. I was the one who saw that.”

Adams had just stood up and flashed an uncharacteristically mischievous grin to the waiting crowd. A low groan escaped the bride’s lips. "Shit", she thought, "him as well?"

“Let me tell you a little about the Normandy SR1’s oxygen recycling mechanism-“

James loudly booed and aimed a dinner roll at Adams’ head, which he smartly sidestepped. Instead, it narrowly missed Jack, who shot daggers at James as he sat back in his chair, shaking his head.

“It’s on a closed system, separate to life support and the first three back-up systems. Essentially, it can’t fail, requires no maintenance, and is so far down an engineer’s list of priorities that they didn’t even feel the need to install the panel on the engineering deck. They just shoved it in a corner of the crew deck where it could be safely forgotten about. This corner happened to be outside the CO’s quarters… Which brings me to exhibit A, Major Alenko’s SR1 work logs.”

Shepard heard Kaidan sharply inhale. She turned to take in his sheepish expression as he guiltily rubbed the back of his neck. Adams had pulled up a document on his omnitool and had started to read from it.

“Monday 6th – 1100-1200 hours – maintenance: oxygen recycling. Tuesday 7th – 1400-1600 hours – maintenance: oxygen recycling. Wednesday 8th – 0900-1000 hours and 1700-1830 hours. You guessed it. Thur-“

One of Kaidan’s sisters was leaning forward to try to catch Kaidan’s eye, grinning and shaking her head. The light giggling from the guests was rising in volume.

“Sunday 12th – 0800-1100 hours – suspected power drainage issue in oxygen recycling system. Sunday 12th – 1200-1300 hours – power drainage issue confirmed as false alarm.”

Joker, swinging back on his chair, rolled his eyes. “Wow, this is embarrassing for you, eh Major? Shepard, did you realise you just married your stalker?”

Kaidan pinched the bridge of his nose and clamped his eyes shut in what looked to be a futile attempt to will himself to the other side of the galaxy, rather than the onset of a migraine. Shepard patted his arm in what she hoped was a supportive manner, but couldn’t contain a burst of laughter as Adams continued.

“Wednesday 23rd – 0700 hours… Major, seriously? Did you actually get any work done on this mission?”

Kaidan groaned and attempted to lower himself so far down his chair as to be invisible to the room.

“Oh no you don’t,” admonished Shepard, grabbing an elbow and dragging him back upright. “‘Celebrate our love’ you said. ‘We need everyone there with us’ you insisted. This one’s on you, Mr Weddings-are-fun.”

“It’s not too late to elope,” he whispered back. “You call the skycar and I’ll meet you outside in five after swinging by the gift table.”

“And that’s how I knew about their relationship before anyone else,” concluded Adams, with a half bow.

The majority of the applause came from a table near the back of the room with a bunch of Kaidan’s friends and squadmates from Biotics Division. Gaining some respect back when he returned to work after the honeymoon was looking like it might be tricky.

“Gonna have to disagree with you there Adams,” Wrex said as he stood up, awkwardly adjusting the collar on his actually rather dapper formal attire.

Shepard involuntarily groaned just as the room went quiet, causing eighty pairs of mischievously laughing eyes to sweep right over to her. "Is everyone from the SR1 going to take a turn at this", she thought, angrily, then froze mid-thought. "Oh goddess, they were, weren’t they!"

“I was definitely the first to notice these two were at it. Or at least that they wanted to be at it. It was… uncomfortable,” he rumbled.

“Oi, Commander!” shouted Jack, mouth full of chocolate mousse. “Didn’t know you had it in you! My girl was getting some on the job!”

Shepard turned an unflattering shade of brick red, which clashed nastily with her flaming hair, falling in waves about her face (Tali had insisted that she ‘do her hair’, but Shepard couldn’t wait to throw it into a ponytail later).

“I took to sparring with Kaidan back in those days. Only other Biotic on the ship, pretty worthy partner, for a human. Not much room on the old Normandy though, had Garrus and Ashley down in the shuttle bay with us as an audience, but they were usually busy with their own stuff.”

“Oh no!” breathed Shepard, a shame-filled, indulgent memory floating up to the surface of her mind and burning her cheeks. Kaidan turned and raised an eyebrow.

“…but I noticed that Shepard seemed to be down there weirdly often when the sparring was going on. Taking notes maybe? Spotting, in case the battlemaster squashed a crewmate.” Wrex seemed excited at this thought, and slammed a fist into his palm. Bakara tutted next to him and put a hand on his arm to bring him back to the moment. “Anyway, I realised she wasn’t watching the fighting, hurhurhurr, she was watching the squishy crewmate, hurhurhurr.

“I guessed she was worried about me hurting the pretty Lieutenant , so I spoke to Ashley, and she said ‘Don’t sweat it, Krogan, it’s not you she’s imagining naked’.”

Traynor sprayed half a glass of champagne across the table before she could clasp her hand over her mouth. Everyone was howling at this point, spurred on by Wrex’s deep guffawing. Shepard’s eyes betrayed her and slipped over to look at Hackett. ‘Everyone was howling’ was an exaggeration; the Admiral looked pained. Shit. Shitshitshit…

“So sure, humans, you might have seen some warm-up, but I knew when it got serious enough for Shepard to start ogling.”

Kaidan’s hand darted out and caught Shepard as she made her break for under the table. “Ah ah ah,” he mocked. “If I’m not escaping, you’re not escaping. For better, for worse, dearest wifey.”

Shepard growled and sat back grudgingly. She’d feel better if she was in her armour; in armour she could face anything. This dress was just discomfort on top of discomfort.

“I know what you’re thinking,” Kaidan whispered in her ear. “But no, drugging all of our wedding guests and running off to live on Omega is out of the question. Well, until we hear what’s next…”

"Next?! There couldn’t be more, could there?" Shepard silently pleaded.

“These eyes don’t miss much – I was a vigilante sniper, after all. Clearly, I caught the real start of this first,” purred Garrus, waving his hand in the direction of the newly-weds.

Kaidan and Shepard flicked back to face each other. “OK, you put the drugs in the champagne bottles, I’ll call the shuttle,” said Kaidan out of the corner of his mouth. Hell, she loved this man.

“Snipers lurk on the edges of the battlefield, they see everything, and keep an eye on their squadmates. Which was lucky for Shepard and Kaidan, since they weren’t always focused on the bad guys.”

“WHAT?!” Shepard slammed both palms onto the table, pulling back her shoulders and giving Garrus her best battlefield stare. Sadly, he knew he had the upper hand, and besides, intimidation is much harder when you’re wobbling on your heels after three glasses of champagne and a sneaky ryncol.

“Woah, Shepard, touched a nerve? That’s more than you touched on Daratar where I had to shoot three smugglers who almost got the drop on you while you were ‘entranced’ watching Kaidan warping.”

“That is so untrue!” she complained, a little too high-pitched for her liking. Kaidan grinned and mouthed “really, Jane?” which didn’t escape Garrus’ notice.

“Oh, buckle-up Alenko, I’ve pulled your ass out of the fire more times than Shepard’s. The mines on Nepmos? You had two Rachni soldiers on you while you were busy gawping at Shepard’s melee prowess.”

“Slander!”

Kaidan joined Shepard’s indignant pose behind the top table.

Garrus chuckled almost malevolently. “OK, OK, I didn’t mean to suggest that earth’s best and brightest can’t handle themselves in a fight, simply that without Palaven’s finest around they might be sporting a few more scars in their wedding photos.”

At the phrase ‘Palaven’s finest’, Tali groaned and lifted her head up as if rolling her eyes, a gesture which set Liara off into a fit of uncharacteristically girly giggling.

“Clearest time though, after clearing out some Cerberus mercenaries on a drifting freighter. All focussed during the firefight, sure, but afterwards…”

Shepard cast her mind back… she couldn’t remember what Garrus might have been referring to.

“The perps had hidden gas cannisters around the ship, and the love-birds thought they’d make finding them all into a race. They’re running around giggling like school kids, shouting across the room every time they find one, completely forgetting that I’m there. Then suddenly, I hear this crash, like twisted metal, along with a yelp, and I figure they’ve gotten themselves in trouble, so I walk around a pile of crates in the direction of the sound, and guess what I see…”

Several suggestions were shouted out, but Garrus managed to ignore them, and the subsequent laughter. “They’d both ‘fallen over’,” he continued, using air quotes. “I guess they’d run smack into each other, but they were making no attempt to get up – just staring at each other through their visors, faces bright red, with Alenko’s hands on the Commander’s hips as she’s fallen on top of him. I had to VERY LOUDLY clear my throat to snap them out of it. I’m not sure what they were thinking of doing with all that armour on, but hey, good for them. Anyway, I think that proves that I knew something was going on before any-“

“That’s enough Vakarian,” laughed Tali, as she bumped him out of the way with her hip. “I have clear evidence of something going on in the SR1 days, not just longing looks.

“I was on my pilgrimage. Never been away from the flotilla before, never been around humans, and I really didn’t know anything about human bodies.”

Kaidan mouthed “Bodies?” and developed a worried look while Tali continued.

“Since I was so nervous, and new to everything, a couple of crew members took me under their wing, mainly Adams, who was so kind to me, talking to me about the ship and the drive core, and Kaidan, who acted a bit like a big brother, coming to check on me and making sure I was doing OK.”

Shepard flashed Kaidan an affectionate smile.

“Well, I thought he was checking on me.”

Shepard’s smile froze.

“Anyway, these ‘check-ins’ seemed to link up to when Shepard was down in the cargo bay talking to the crew in-between missions. When she made it into engineering, Kaidan would go discuss something with the ensign, or Adams, then come back to chat to me about omnitools or laugh at my favourite vids. But he was never that focussed on the conversation if Shepard was leaving.”

“Ohhhhh,” Kaidan made a pained noise and hid his head behind his hands. “No no no no no…”

“So I thought, maybe it was a human custom to watch your superior officer’s hips as they leave a room, and so I asked him.”

Kaidan made a noise like a dying animal, but it was drowned out by the tidal wave of laughter, much of it coming from Vega and Cortez, one of whom shouted “L2, you dork!”

“Well, he turned completely red,” Tali practically shouted, trying to continue the story despite the general furore. “I’d never seen a human do that, but naturally, being Quarian, I thought he must be running a fever, so I backed up quickly (worried I was going to catch something), and said, a little too loudly, ‘Woah, you look hot Lieutenant’, which-“

Tali’s next words were lost in the cry-laughing erupting around the room. Adams was clutching his chest almost as if he was in pain.

“OK, OK, haha, calm down guys. Anyway, I told Kaidan that he looked hot, and Shepard was still in the room, and she whipped around so quick, smirked, looked Kaidan up and down, and left. Ten seconds later, my omnitool pings: ‘Yes, he does, but back off Tali, this one’s mine!’.”

Garrus whistled, and Vega yelled “Caught red-handed Lola!”

“So, I think I win, since I actually have written evidence from the SR1 days. Eat that, Bosh’tets!”

“I have better than that”. Joker, rather than stand up, leaned back in his chair and made an exaggerated gesture of resting his hands behind his head. “I was the one running the betting pool on when they’d get together, and I know exactly when that happened because I’m the one who won.”

Shepard and Kaidan turned to one another and simultaneously repeated “betting pool?”.

“Admiral Hackett, sir, I’m guessing anything said at a wedding stays at a wedding, Vegas-style?”

“You have my word, Mister Moreau,” the Admiral chimed in, in mock-seriousness.

“So, we opened the books a few days before we arrived on Therum. The signs were all there – Lover-boy here making cow eyes at the Commander in the mess; those looooong chats after each mission. Seriously, it felt like the Normandy had turned into the Love Boat.”

“Joker, stop exaggerating.” Liara, stepping up to her maid of honour duties, had an eye on the Admiral and his reactions. Thank the Goddess for Liara, Shepard thought. That’s one wedding tradition she was glad she’d followed (Tali had forced her, refusing to attend if Shepard didn’t name bridesmaids).

“Oh, now T’Soni speaks up,” said Joker. “I’m sure you have something juicy to add to this discussion.”

“A friend doesn’t break a confidence, Joker. What kind of information broker would it make me if I revealed everyone’s secrets?” Liara answered, with a wink to the top table.

Joker waved her answer away and continued. “Anyway, Susi and Johnson both bet on them not getting it on until shore leave, the innocents. I thought Pressly might write me up when he came over and mentioned the pool, I mean, I thought I was toast, but then he just said ‘I’ll put my credits on it being a solar month’. Miles out.”

Kaidan took Shepard’s hand under the table and gently squeezed at the mention of some of their fallen colleagues. It still hurt. It would never not hurt, but it also felt good to hear Joker recount stories about them so animatedly.

“You were in, weren’t you Adams?” Joker hollered over his shoulder.

“Yeah, and you took me for 20 credits!”

“After every mission, crew would rock up to change their bet. Hell, at one point I had 30 credits on them getting it on in the back of the mako on Noveria and blaming it on ‘sharing body heat’, but that 30 credits went to hell. Anyway,” Joker continued. “Eventually, I got the evidence I needed to win my original bet. Cam footage of the mess hall with a clear view of the Commander’s quarters. 1500 hours - Alenko walks in. 2100 hours – Commander walks out, alone, grinning. Fifteen minutes later, out slopes Alenko, looking more than a little dishevelled and extremely pleased with himself.”

Wolf whistles echoed around the room, and someone, presumably Donnelly, shouted “Get in there my son!”

“And all this happened to occur exactly when I’d bet it would: ‘The night before we catch up with Saren’.”

Joker took an awkward bow, since he was still in his seat. “Thank you, thank you, I’m available for Tarot readings, predicting numbers for the Illium lottery, and picking auspicious names for your future children.”

Tali made her eye-rolling head movement again. “Joker, you are so self-satisfied, if you were made of chocolate, you’d eat yourself.”

Shepard hadn’t heard what Tali said though. She was too busy exploring a niggling feeling she had, just out of reach in her memory, connected to Joker.

“So that’s why you interrupted us!” she exploded. Springing out of her chair and throwing the accusation before she’d had time to consider the consequences. Now everyone was looking at her expectantly, and the explanation needed to be good before everyone started imagining that Joker had walked in on her and Kaidan in a compromising position.

“Just after the ship was grounded, I was at the lockers and Kaidan came over, and we nearly kissed, except you jumped on the comm just before we did.”

Several members of the original SR1 crew snapped their heads over to Joker’s direction, and there was an audible intake of breath from O’Reilly.

“That would have meant I won!” He shouted. “You owe me, flyboy!”

“Not a chance,” Joker retorted, though with an undercurrent of panic. “All’s fair in love and gambling.”

“Let’s move on, shall we, ladies and gentlemen.”

Hackett had risen from his seat, brushing his sleeves absentmindedly before settling into parade rest. “I think I may have something of note to add.”

The laughter, shouting, and general hubbub of the party was extinguished in a nanosecond. Joker’s eyes were practically popping out of his head. James let out a low whistle, but was quickly silenced by Cortez jabbing him in the ribs.

Hackett cleared his throat and shifted his weight from foot to foot. "Is he nervous?" thought Shepard. "Oh hell, how bad is this going to be if an admiral of the Alliance navy is nervous to say it?"

“Three days after the battle of the Citadel, I received an interesting message from Major Alenko, which I’m very glad I chose to ignore.”

The colour completely drained from Kaidan’s face.

“I forget the details…” the Admiral trailed off, but with an ever-so-slightly mischievous smile. “Something about falling in love… any fraternization implications being entirely his fault… Commander Shepard being an exemplary officer who had just saved the whole galaxy, and shouldn’t be punished for a minor infraction… being prepared to take any and all consequences... some kind of offer of resignation… Naturally, I decided to deny all knowledge of receiving such a missive.”

Kaidan had turned to Shepard and was giving his extremely-serious-apology face, clearly expecting her rage at the idea that he’d confessed to complicating the chain of command without discussing it with her. However, Shepard’s facial expression wasn’t angry at all. Instead, she looked contrite – she knew what was coming next.

“I’d just decided to delete the message from the Major when, to my absolute shock, a second message comes through.”

Confusion bloomed on Kaidan’s face, until he looked over at Shepard and froze, then it morphed into a Cheshire cat grin as realisation dawned.

“This second message was remarkably similar to the first one, but with a few key differences. There was something about Lieutenant Alenko being the future of the Alliance… amazing example to other Biotics, blah blah blah… all untoward behaviour being entirely the fault of his superior officer… and another offer of resignation…” Hackett concluded, with an amused expression aimed at Shepard. He’d started off seeming nervous to be joining in with the general pile-on, but now he was clearly enjoying himself.

Shepard and Kaidan were still just looking at each other. Kaidan’s grin had softened into a loving smile, mirrored on Shepard’s face as well.

“Funnily enough, I took the view that I should probably ‘forget’ this second message as well… I’d become very forgetful in the face of a possible reaper invasion,” mused the Admiral, looking around at his audience and drinking in the laughter and small ripple of applause. “Anyway, I believe the point I am making is that, while I acknowledge that I can’t compete in your competition to see who noticed the relationship first, I believe you can thank me for not allowing the heroes of the Reaper War to resign four years ago over it.”

That elicited a huge cheer from the room, with a number of people raising their glasses in a toast.

Shepard slowly leaned sideways to rest her head on Kaidan’s shoulder, and as he quickly dipped to kiss the top of her head, she whispered “You idiot.”

“Right back at you,” he whispered back.

#first fanfic #mass effect #happy ending #shenko trash

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austinpanda · 3 years

Text

Dad Letter 082221

22 August, 2021

Dear Dad--

Happy what for you will be Sunday! Perhaps I should just say happy weekend. It’s Saturday morning here in the trailer and it seems like we’re going to catch some of Hurricane Henri sometime about Monday or Tuesday. I am excited by this! I’ve mentioned how our single-wide leaked like a sieve from the windows along its west wall. Well, in response to our maintenance request, they sent a dude around to come fix it. I believe caulk, or otherwise some big tube of silicone sealant in a dispensing gun (pew! pew!) was employed. We still have our original leak; water always comes in through the top of our back door. The dude put the magic caulk on that thing too, but it’s like original sin...it’s just always gonna be there. It’s the leak where the previous tenants installed plastic hooks on the door, to hang towels on, to catch the leaks.

I spent some time on the internet yesterday and got myself some medical benefits! I now have medical, dental, and vision coverages. I don’t know when they start, but I’m going to search for a dentist some more today. I tried the area’s largest family dentistry, a place with (I’m guessing) maybe 20 dentists working in it, and their website says they have no available appointments. This seems unlikely, but not impossible. I think there’s a problem with the scheduling website, or else they’re having a surge of business before school starts, or something else temporary. Either way, I’ll find a dentist. The dental pain which I’ve come to live with and treat with Ibuprofen every day may soon be a thing of the past.

I don’t suppose I can avoid mentioning that I’m still having problems with depression. I have a few online friends who’ve been super helpful while I seem to be in this downswing, and I’m hoping to get rid of it, and return to my usual sarcastic-yet-ebullient self soon. (You don’t need to suggest exercising, I can actually hear you thinking it from here. Got to admit, I kind of wish I owned a weight bench.) I believe at least some of the depression stems from having no circle of friends. I have, at best, a very tiny triangle of friends. The three components of the friend triad would be: husband, cats and coworkers, and Mr. and Mr. plant scientist guy. I was going to go with Zach to plant scientist guy’s home today to eat, but instead I’m going to stay home and eat worms and feel sorry for myself. (Zach suggested I might like some “me” time, and I’m not keen to inflict myself upon anyone just now anyway.) Also I have lots of work shirts to iron.

I’m actually looking forward to work tomorrow, just a little bit, even though it’s my Monday. My boss has suggested in advance that I do 6 of the 7 audits tomorrow, and I don’t think I’ve ever done 6 in a day before. I especially haven’t attempted to do 6 on a Sunday, since we always audit the previous day’s stuff, which means I’d be auditing a Saturday, typically a busy time. I’m confident that I can do it, however. I can do each of those 6 audits in about an hour, and that gives me a whole two extra hours for “shit happens.” I like knowing how to do all that stuff. There’s a good chance I’ll get through all 6 audits without having any questions, or any problems I can’t solve myself.

And it’s going to be September soon! That always gets me excited, since that’s when I start my two month scary movie marathon, beginning with Night of the Demon, from 1957. I’ve reached a point where, as soon as I hear that movie begin, I relax a bit, because I know summer is over. Also, a lot of my favorite movies are in that genre, including a bunch of British ones, and a bunch with extremely unconvincing monsters. But that’s when I watched The Thing From Another World (1951), and The Fog, and the original Amityville Horror, and The Changeling, with George C. Scott. Good stuff! And, of course, the two months culminate on Halloween, when I watch a couple I saved for last, and we eat all the candy we bought, because children generally know better than to come to a trailer park during the time of plague resurgence in search of things to put in their mouths, that they KNOW FOR CERTAIN was just handled by a stranger.

Actually, I think the way they do Halloween now is: everyone buys candy and drives to church, and everyone else brings their kids, and the kids just visit each car for candy, one after the other. It doesn’t sound like it provides as much walking as the traditional way of trick-or-treating, and it seems to reduce the possibility of criminal mischief to near zero. (I’m just thinking you can’t TP someone’s house when you’re gathering candy in the church parking lot.) But it preserves some of the elements of the old fashioned style. Halloween is a great holiday, mostly because I like watching the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown special. I’m one of the few people that loves every second of that TV special, even the WW1 parts where Snoopy gets shot down behind enemy lines by the Red Baron. That show has some great jazz music in it.

I received something kind of cool in the mail today, a 16 x 100 inch roll of dichroic film. What the shit is that, you ask? Well, you see it in holiday decorations a lot. It’s a colored film that changes color depending on the angle from which you’re viewing it. It’ll also do stuff like: light passing through it is blue, but light bouncing off it is bright orange. It’s just a film you can use to tint plastic and windows that make pretty colors. I have tinted two windows in our metal living tube with it! I’ll include the pictures. It sticks on with soapy water, and is supposed to peel right off when it comes time to move out and take all my disco shit with me. I’m considering putting a couple of small patches of it on my car, just because it’s so pretty. I’ll include a pic of the dichroic film. By now, as you’ve probably concluded, they use that dichroic glass in certain disco lights.

I have a few things happening, but it’s a slow period. I have already put some of the dichroic film on the bathroom window and the window in the back door, which we never open. As predicted, it is pretty as fuck! I want to cover my car windows with it, but I checked, and I’m pretty sure that would be illegal in Maine. Auto window tint has to allow at least 30% of light to pass through (no worries, and with disco colors!) and it has to be non-reflective (shit! Mine is super reflective!) Just taking a picture of some balled-up leftover bits of the dichroic film is pretty. Anything you can scrunch up into a ball and take a beautiful picture of it MUST be special.

I was afraid, for a period, that I had done something to kill my ability to read books for fun! I know I’ve been anhedonic lately, but I’m pretty sure that I haven’t smoked enough drugs to make myself illiterate. Then, as an experiment, I picked up a Jack Reacher book, and read all 450 pages in about a day. I am pleased to report that I have neither smoked myself illiterate, nor forgotten how to enjoy a good page-turner. This pleases me!

More next week! All my love to you both!

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anotherwellkeptsecret · 5 years

Text

Alrighty. Time to type up my surgery and recovery experience.

When I got my pacemaker two years ago, I spent a year (almost exactly) drawing a comic called Change of Pace, which helped me kinda process what happened to me. You can read the comic here if you’re interested. It’s largely all true, aside from the love story part. Tsk.

I don’t think I’m going to be drawing out this experience. It was completely different. I’ve been expecting a surgery of this nature since I was nineteen, when I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease. So, in a way, this stint in the hospital was harder, more personal. The pacemaker was an emergency. The colon resection was some time coming. Not as much trauma, really. Not as much confusion about what was happening and why. But I still feel like telling the story, purging it from my mind.

I was scheduled for surgery on Monday, the 18th of November. I took off work that Friday so I could have my pre-op bloodwork done and I also took off Sunday so I could start the colon prep. If you don’t know what a colon prep is, God bless you. You basically drink a crap ton (lol) of laxative and spend all night pooping until you poop clear. The easiest version is the Miralax version. If you have to have a colonoscopy, ask for the Miralax. I promise, you don’t want the Go-Lightly.

The day before prep, my friend took me climbing in Memphis to keep my mind off of things. We also went to IKEA. It was helpfully distracting. I had Swedish meatballs.

I was meant to “technically” start the prep at midnight Saturday by not eating anything until surgery on Monday. Beginning to drink the Miralax sometime around noon on Sunday. I didn’t get that far.

I got righteously sick Saturday night. My back was killing me and I was very nauseous and dizzy. I knew what was going on even before I started throwing up. I had a bowel obstruction. The second one in my life. I’d had one once before in March and jeeze. It hurt like a son of a bitch. I’m not sure if every bowel obstruction feels the same way, but mine certainly did. If you find yourself having these symptoms, please go to the ER. Bowel obstructions are no joke. You can go septic, which is incredibly dangerous.

Nausea, feeling like you’re going to pass out, vomiting bile, severely upset stomach, cold sweats, and my back was aching something awful. I assume it was because my stomach was cramping so badly, my back muscles were spasming.

I live with my mother. Have done since I’ve been getting sick so regularly. I woke her up and she took me to the hospital.

The first time I had a bowel obstruction, I thought something was wrong with my heart. (The cold sweats, the nausea.) They rushed me to the back immediately. This time, I knew it was an obstruction, not my heart, and I said as much. They don’t tend to be in as much of a hurry when you don’t mention your heart. Didn’t realize that. I’m also not entirely sure they were convinced I did have a bowel obstruction. I’m sure plenty of people walk into an ER saying random stuff for random reasons, but yeah. I was very slowly processed. I remember them taking my blood pressure and because it wasn’t high at all, I imagine they thought I was full of shit. Figuratively, not literally. Because I was, literally. Whatever.

My blood pressure normally runs very low. I can also take a lot of pain, because I’m on a first name basis with pain. They didn’t take my pain seriously because my blood pressure wasn’t high, I guess. Not my fault I’m a badass.

I sat in the waiting room until I started vomiting bile again. I also pooped all over myself in the processes. Which I didn’t think you could do if you were obstructed, but you live and you learn!

That’s when they got in a hurry. I was making a huge mess.

They got me a paper gown and I cleaned myself up as best as I could before the CAT scan, which proved I was, in fact, obstructed.

So there I was, in the ER, very very early on the Sunday morning before my surgery Monday. I was admitted and my doctor contacted. Since the surgery was so close at hand, they agreed it was best to wait until the scheduled time to do the surgery. I’d stopped vomiting so there was no need for an NG tube this time. Those things suck.

Got admitted. Got a room. Tried to sleep. My surgeon came in and we talked. Got everything situated. At one point my mother told me there was a girl down the hall who’d just had a colon resection if I wanted to talk to her. She was sitting int he hallway with her sisters, eating her dinner. Poor thing had been in the hospital for almost a month.

I spoke with her a bit. I’m not entirely sure what happened. Whether it was nerves or if I was hurting, but I almost passed out in the hallway. I hadn’t experienced anything of that nature since I had my pacemaker put in. The whole point of the pacemaker was to prevent me from passing out altogether. But I didn’t pass out so...I suppose that means it’s working?

I also pooped on myself that night while I slept. First time that’d ever happened. It was then I knew that I’d literally gone as long as I could before I needed surgery. I couldn’t wait any more. I’d been so stressed out over in the idea that I maybe didn’t need the surgery. That I was being pitiful and my case wasn’t that bad. I could tough it out if I really wanted. I realized what a dumbass I was for thinking those thoughts, but hindsight is 20/20.

Monday dawned and surgery rolled around. Took forever. I was basically watching the clock tick the minutes by until transport fetched me. I was wheeled down to pre-op where they gave me a hair net. I don’t remember getting a hair net for the pacemaker surgery.

I signed some paperwork and a lady told me she was going to get me ready. She said she was going to give me a nerve block in my stomach. I was like, “Cool, right on.” Until I saw the needle.

Holy fuck. That needle.

“You’re going to give me that when I’m asleep, right?”

“I’m going to give you some ‘I don’t care’ juice.”

“Oh, thank God. I probably won’t remember this then.”

“Probably not.”

In went the ‘I don’t care’ juice. I got really dizzy.

They swabbed my belly with iodine.

They prepped the needle.

I was still very much awake.

I said, “Guys...” Because at this point there were several people standing over me. Like five. “...I’m still cognizant.”

Yeah, I used the word cognizant. That’s how fucking cognizant I was.

Not sure if they heard me. Or if they replied. I was really dizzy.

In went the needle.

And ow. OW.

In went the needle again. One stick on each side of my belly.

The ‘I don’t care’ juice must have been working in some way because while I remember the pain, I don’t remember the panic. I certainly would have panicked if I didn’t have that juice pumping through me. So that was a thing.

I fell asleep soon thereafter. Couldn’t have been like...a minute earlier? Really?

I remember waking up in recovery with the pacemaker. I remember the pressure, the nurse asking me questions. I remember being wheeled back to my room. I don’t remember jack shit about recovery after the colon resection. I don’t remember being wheeled back to my room. I apparently asked for my mom, but I don’t remember doing that either.

I do remember, however, turning over on my side. Because ouch. But I did it anyway and kept doing it because I’m a determined asshole. Monday night was very hazy. I was high as fuck, probably.

Tuesday: Not a good day. I was in a lot of pain. They gave me hydros, but the hydros weren’t touching it. Felt like I was taking Tylenol. And I have a very very VERY low tolerance for pain meds. They wouldn’t give me any morphine because my blood pressure was too low. (Again, badass?? Maybe?? IDK man my blood pressure just runs really low.) Which makes sense, because that’s dangerous, but I was in agony. I begged for morphine. I pleaded with the nurse to give me morphine. She would not.

My mother got angry. I’m not one to complain. And my threshold for pain is admittedly pretty stout. I was hurting and no one was doing anything to help. My mother got ANGRY.

I think they must’ve finally given me some morphine, but I don’t remember. Morphine also didn’t help. Didn’t even make a dent in the pain I was feeling. They kept giving me hydros every couple of hours to no avail. I remember I asked for a heating pad for my back. Barely. The nurse did give me one, but said I could only have it for an hour? Very fuzzy.

The tech forgot to...do something with my catheter because my urine got everywhere. The nurse that found me like that called the floor manager. I hated to, but I did report that my pain wasn’t kept in check. I was hurting so badly I actually reported one of the nurses. The one that wouldn’t give me morphine. I felt horrible about it, but I was also nearly in tears I hurt so bad.

Hell, the pain was so intense at one point my mother called my family. Like, they thought something was wrong. Very very wrong. The doctor called for some kind of scan while I was in bed. They put a board behind my back. I was writhing, I remember. My family gathered in the hospital to see me in case I had to go back to surgery. In case I wasn’t going to do well.

It was scary.

The next set of nurses figured out the problem when the scan revealed nothing out of the ordinary. My back was spasming. Horribly. When I sat up and they felt of me, they were shocked to find my back riddled with knots. It felt like knuckles underneath my skin. The new nurses got me some hella icy hot with pain killer and rubbed me down.

It helped tremendously. My back stopped freaking out, which gave my abdominal muscles time to rest.

At last, I wasn’t hurting. At last, I slept.

Wednesday and Thursday were spent trying to keep my back under control. At one point I vomited all over my bed due to acid reflux. I paged the nurse to ask for some acid reflux medicine and puked all over the place while I was on the call with her lol.

I never once had any issue with my incision. My entire trouble, the whole time, was from my back. And nausea. And lemme tell ya. Vomiting with a six inch incision on your abdomen? OW.

Getting up and walking? Easy enough. Getting up and going to the bathroom? No problem. Spongebath? Piece of cake. But God my back.

I managed to poop for the doctors. Fantastic.

And finally, finally, I got to have food.

I went from about 5:00PM Saturday to 12:00PM Friday without having anything to eat or drink. I had an IV, and I could eat ice chips if I desperately needed to wet my mouth, but yeah. I hardly had any ice chips. Weird to imagine you can go that long without food and be alright.

I proved I could eat GI soft food on Saturday and they let me go home.

Got my staples removed the following Tuesday. Had some steri strips applied. Just waiting for them to fall off on their own.

And here I am. Just lounging, waiting to get my strength back. It’s much easier to draw after this surgery than the pacemaker one. Thank God. I’m slow moving and my stomach hurts a bit when my contents shift, but other than that I’m doing swimmingly. I can’t lift anything over ten pounds until the new year. Not sure when I’ll be able to drive, either. I’ll find out soon.

This surgery was probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Mentally and physically. Mentally because I’ve been struggling with Crohn’s since I was a teenager. I’m 32 now. Half my life I’ve been at war with my own body, drowning in the pain it leashes on itself. It’s been a long road. I hope this spells the end of it. Or at least, the rest of the journey is all downhill.

I’ve lost a lot of weight. I’m trying not to think about it too much. I’ll gain it back. Just takes time.

#personal #medical #tw pain #tw medical #recovery #crohn's disease #colon resection

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a-day-in-the-life-of-a-brotha · 3 years

Text

5-1-21 Bills and retro thoughts.

4:00 a.m.- I hit the snooze button up until 4:45...then I straight up turned it off and went back to sleep.

5:18 a.m.- “Shit, I’m late”...well at this point I might as well take my time. On this morning I don’t have to stop to get cigarettes, nor do I HAVE to stop to get two egg and cheese biscuits...but I will. My Dani love sent me a message to get up at 4:10, but it’s her day off and I expect her to be sleep...to no avail.

5:30 a.m.-out of the shower taking my sweet ass time. Dani calls “Hey babe” she says “Yo” is what I say. She can sense a sense of urgency with me so she asked “Are you still in the house?” “Yep I reply.” Short quick answers and a YO is not how I normally engage her. She was going to give me space to get ready, but I denied that.

5:45 a.m.- At McDonald’s, on the phone with Dani, and a car in front me in line (it’s never usually a car there because I’m usually in line before 5:30 a.m.. “Two biscuits, with round eggs and cheese...a larger sleight iced sweet tea, and a Big Breakfast.” Now that Big Breakfast is for Mr.D, my 87 year old shop supervisor. He’s a good man, and he literally built the place that drains the lifeblood out of us, makes millions via government contracts, and probably doesn’t pay Mr.D the wealth that he is due. I called Mr.D, with my Dani still in my ear, to let him know that I was going to be late. I pushed like shit to work...I have the strong ethic, moral, work code and I don’t like to be late. Although it’s a straight plantation I’m rushing to, and it’s a slave mind that drives me not to be late that I’m coherent to...I still don’t like to be late.

6:05 a.m. I’m 5 mins late. “Aww right now” says Mr. D (His signature greeting in the Morning, Afternoon, Night, when ya walk by him, when ya need something, when ya don’t need nothing etc). I hand him his food, complain about the night crew not doing anything, then I scurry off to smoke a jack and eat. That get me to thinking about a narcissistic experience I had last Thursday...

Frustration #1 -Level 1000. This is just one example of how my co-parenting has been with my children’s mother for almost 15 years. Bbbbrrriinnngg (phone ringing) “Hello” I said “Hello what’s up” she said. “Look, when are you being the children back, they have a dentist appointment tomorrow at 5” she spews. “Uhh tomorrow, I can bring them back tomorrow” says I. “Well, that will be pushing it”, she’s referring to how long it will take me to get to her home and the dentist office because I work Friday-Tuesday and I get off at 2:30p.m.. Now, it takes about 45-1 hr to get to her place...I could act make it up there and get them to the dentist on time, shit, before 5...bringing them back on Friday is viable for me. “Well bring them back Monday, I can schedule the appointment for 3p.m.” “I’m not going to make by 3pm”...Now if SHE truly thinks that making it up to her by 5pm is “pushing it” why in the fuck would think i could make it by 3?? Ahhh...here it comes, the narcissism...I see it plain as day now. Just to fuck with me she’s starting something. I also know now that this behavior is rooted in a perverted insecurity to control EVERYTHING!! “Why can’t you make it on Monday? You know I don’t have a car!! Uggh...I’ll just do it myself like I always do, bring them back Sunday!” “Umm ok”. Her not having a car is not my responsibility, why blame me for that? She doesn’t always do things on her own, hell I’ve been there since before day one helping raise our children!! I’m not a deadbeat, she’s not a single mother with no help, she’s a mother whose single!! I have ALWAYS went all out for my children, financially, emotionally, physically, spiritually...you know...the things o deserve no accolade for...just regular Dad duties. This used to get me upset. Now I know where this behavior comes from. She’s a narcissist with me in particular. Men come and go, and I assume she wonders why. She needs healing, so do/did I. The latter part of this conversation was unnecessary...

10:44 a.m.- I’m at work...it’s the moment of now...tbc...

2:30 p.m.-I leave the plantation, full of energy and angst to get to this bbq spot that my online Call of Duty playing, homies own. I’ve known them for about 14 years now. We’ve hung out several times, we know each other’s families, they respect me...even though...well...even though. I’m just not from their hood is all.

2:50 p.m.- I’m on the phone with my Dani, per normal...I miss her being physically next to me, but for now our myriad of conversations will do. She’s different, I felt it when I virtually met her...she’ll be here for the rest of my life and I to hers...I know it. Nonetheless I’m about to purchase a plate of food I don’t eat, I’m a vegetarian. “Babe, why are you about to buy something you don’t eat?” “Because I want do some a review on them” I say. “ I know, but you should go somewhere, where you can eat” she says. It does make perfect sense to me...but I’m stubborn and my big headedness is dead set on patronizing this black owned business, plus, I’m an official food reviewer. I go in and order, o already scoped out the menu and I knew what I wanted...to pretty much give away. A crab cake, seafood Mac, lamb chops, and collards is what I order...$55 bucks. “Damn” I say in my head...shit I might have said it aloud. Dani is ever so quite in the background, still attached to my ear (I got a dated Bluetooth in my ear, but it serves its purpose...those Bluetooth’s that only niggas that wear pink or lime colored gators have...Them Uncle Father ass niggas). As I’m ordering...I see the youngin that was a baby at one point in life, whose the child of a brother I use to game with. “Young Kage!!” I exclaimed. “Is that Stryker?” “Yep, it’s me, what’s good...is anybody else back there?” Now when I said anybody else, I meant the brothers that I gamed with for 14 years...but he said “Nah, ain’t nobody here, and B just left.” It still was good to see the establishment and how these cats made some from nothing. I get my expensive ass meal that I’m not going to eat and head home...I made a stop a Chipotle for me and then excitedly proceeded to my sisters spot, who lives in the same complex as I. Dani, my love, went to dinner herself with Ari her daughter...she already was hip to send me a review on whatever they got...she pays me attention...one aspect of why I love her so. Tam, Somaia, and Jahi...LOVE the meal. I look at them eating it and I truly wanted to indulge. But nah...let me stay disciplined with my vegetarian regiment.

8:00 p.m.-I’m home...chillin...waiting for Dani to call. I fall asleep with her on the phone. This day was less frustrating via my interaction with less people. I still am always aware of my surroundings, who I am, and how I’m looked at. The worlds course outlook on is, never fades or goes away.

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doc-pickles · 4 years

Text

it’s nothing funny just to talk (p.2)

What happens when you text that random number graffitied on a bathroom stall in your favorite bar? Jo Wilson is about to find out. - In which Bar Princess and Doctor Evil Spawn meet via text.

Saturday 12:09 PM

you know what might be worse than pyramid schemes?

bridal showers

this is horrendous

Same woman you were drinking in solidarity to?

obviously, I have like four friends

I thought teachers were like outgoing and bubbly?

oh hell no, socializing is not my cup of tea

one of the other bridesmaids just asked who i was texting so I told her jack the ripper

Oh you couldn’t even give me a good one

i’m gonna pretend you didn’t say that

My day off and the weekend finally coincide, which means I’m not leaving my couch all day.

I wish I were you this shower is gonna kill me

teachers on the weekend are a fun sight to see

You’re not partaking this time?

no i’m DD

it’s for the best, I did throw up on my shoes last weekend

How crazy is a bridal shower that you need a DD?

there’s a mimosa bar and they’re already playing never have I ever

the mother of the groom is starting something with the mother of the bride

I gotta deal with this

Saturday 3:11 PM

I deserve bottle of wine for all of the shit I dealt with today

I never wanna be a maid of honor ever again

Maybe we should rename you Maid of Dishonor?

wooooooow

I throw up on my shoes ONE TIME

How’d the battle of the mothers go?

oh it was horrendous

groom is from a rich family and bride grew up on a farm… you know how it goes

Doesn’t sound fun. Glad you made it out.

barely

how’s your day off going

Amazing. I get to watch baseball and sit on the couch with a bag of chips and a beer. I’m living the dream.

I envy you

they’re making us go out again

Do you get to drink during this escapade?

yes thank god

manhattan or moscow mule?

A whiskey drinker? You might be the perfect woman.

don’t try to butter me up, i’ve never even met you in person

We can change that.

Saturday 6:14 PM

Do you think birds have dreams?

I thought I was supposed to get drunk

You were talking too long. And I’m not drunk.

I can’t think of another reason why you’d ask me about bird dreams

You’re a teacher. I was curios.

i’m not a bird specialist

personally I do not think that birds can dream

I’m telling them you said that.

the birds?

Yes. They deserve to know the truth.

have you just been sitting on the couch drinking beer all day?

did you even eat

Yeah I had pizza for lunch

what about dinner?

It’s not dinner time yet.

dude it’s 6

Oh shit really?

Hahaha that explains it

psh and you said I was bad when I was drunk

you’re freaking Snow White

Is this ebcause I asked about the birds

yes it is

I gotta go, Maggie says i’m not netting the quota for fun

Maggie sounds like a buzzkill

she’s the assistant principal, i’m scared she’ll fire me if I don’t listen

jk… kinda

Saturday 12:32 AM

Incoming Voice Call

“Jo! Put the phone down! You should not be calling anyone right now!”

“Hello?”

“Doctor Evil Spawn! I’m so glad you picked up.”

“Are you drunk now?”

“Noooo….. maybe. I just wanted to say hi.”

“Hi princess.”

“Your voice is nice. It’s a good voice, it’s sexy and I like it.”

“You’re kinda crazy, you know that?”

“Josephine Wilson! Give me the phone!”

“Woah who full named you? They sound angry.”

“That’s Maggie, she’s trying to get me to go home. I can’t go home Maggie, I’m talking to a hot doctor! And he has a sexy voice!”

“You’ve never even seen me, you don’t know if I’m hot.”

“I’m judging off your sexy voice and what few characteristics I know about you. I’d be shocked if you weren’t hot.”

“You have too much faith in me.”

“I have to go, Maggie is dragging me out of the bar. Byeeee hot doctor!”

“Goodnight princess, don’t throw up on your shoes this time.”

Sunday 9:58 AM

How’re your shoes looking?

Sunday 11:22 AM

You’re still dead? I mean you did call me half past midnight… but I thought you’d be up by now.

Sunday 1:46 PM

Are you embarrassed because of what you said on the phone? Frankly I found it endearing.

Sunday 3:18 PM

As a doctor, I’m advising you to drink more fluids and get food in your system. Maybe a banana. It’ll make you feel less shitty, trust me.

Sunday 6:17 PM

Hope you’re not dead in a ditch somewhere.

Monday 7:23 AM

oh my god I am so sorry

I dropped my phone in Maggie’s car and I just got it back

wait you were worried about me weren’t you

Well you fell off the face of the earth… so yeah.

awwww well it’s nice to know that someone would notice if I was kidnapped and murdered

Didn’t you say I was the one that would kidnap and murder you?

yes but i’m having a change of heart

Is it because of my sexy voice?

I was kinda hoping I didn’t say that out loud

whoops

I told you I found it endearing.

flattery will get you everywhere

gotta go, class is lining up and they’re already screaming

I’ll pray for you.

Monday 8:08 PM

dude the thai place on 7th across from old navy?

amazing

i’m in heaven

Oh so we’ve reached the stage of giving each other food recommendations?

obviously

this is a serious relationship

Chinese place across from Joe’s Bar has the best egg rolls. Perfect drunchies.

i’ve never been to joe’s

I live right around the corner from there

So we’re neighbors then? I’m off of Fullerton.

I guess we are

that’s exciting, i bet i’ve seen you at the grocery store

Bold of you to assume I make it to the grocery store.

honestly same

I usually guilt steph or izzie into it

You’re the chaotic good of the group aren’t you?

obviously

I keep things balanced

what’re you doing?

On a break, almost done for the night. I have to round on post ops and then I’m done.

nice!!! did you get anything fun today?

Not really just surgeries I could do in my sleep.

typical monday’s

I have to go, we have a field trip tomorrow and i’m not emotionally prepared

Oof. Have fun, don’t die.

who the hell ends texts like that?

A doctor. Obviously. Night princess.

goodnight Snow White

Tuesday 12:18 PM

whoever decided to bring 42 fourth graders to the science discovery museum should be fired

Isn’t that you?

maybe

maybe not

It was totally you. How about a deal?

deal with an internet stranger?

fine but if I die i’m gonna be pissed

How about I drop off a bottle of wine on your porch on my way to work? I work the night shift again.

hmmmm I don’t think i’m supposed to give my address to strangers

but i’m pretty sure if you were going to kill me you would’ve done it by now

See you’re getting the hang of it.

okay i’ll give you my address

but if there’s a bomb we’re going to have words

If there’s a bomb you’ll be dead.

Tuesday 4:54 PM

red wine AND egg rolls?

if I didn’t know better i’d think you’re trying to woo me

I think I need to meet you before we can say that.

thank you!!!

my roomies are teasing me about taking wine from a stranger

You’re welcome. And I’m not a stranger. I know your name and where you live.

aaaaand way to make things creepy

BTW your blonde roommate was checking out my ass.

hahahahaha that’s izzie for you

she has a boyfriend don’t worry

I wasn’t too concerned about her, just thought you might want to beat her up or something.

intentionally trying to start a cat fight? classy

she says you’re “super dreamy” so that’s a plus

Glad to know I passed the checkpoint. Does this mean I get to meet you now?

maybe maybe not

we have learned one good thing though

And what’s that?

even if you are a serial killer, you have a good taste in wine and your attractive

i’ll die happy

Tuesday 7:32 AM

If I never work another overnight again it’ll be too soon.

yeah you’ve been working a lot of those

wtf is up with that

I lost a bet with Arizona.

oof that doesn’t sound fun

at least I have nice stable working hours

summers off

i’m living the dream

Why do you do that?

do what?

Send forty texts. There’s a button to put in a period and start a new sentence. In the same text.

you really do text like a 60 year old

I’m sophisticated, obviously.

I know we’ve never met but I need a favor

Oof. After I dropped off wine for you?

the favor includes free food and alcohol

I’m listening…

that wedding i’m in is next weekend

and I don’t have a date :-)

I wish I could, I’m going out of town.

booooo

it’s okay, after i’m done being a brides bitch my weekend will open up

i’ll also be done with school for year

So I can take you out on a proper date? Instead of texting you all day?

you do realize that you’re texting a girl who found your number at 11 pm while shit faced in a bar right

That’s always how I pictured meeting the woman of my dreams.

oh shut up

I suppose i’ll go on a date with you, man I know nothing about

I’m Alex, I’m 27 and I don’t think pineapple belongs on pizza

deal breaker sorry

pineapple + pizza = deliciousness

Well at least you know more about me.

that I do

jo, 25, who’s favorite color is purple and eats cinnamon toast for breakfast everyday, has to go educate the tiny humans

talk to you later old man

Oh come on you’re two years younger!

Tuesday 1:26 PM

have you ever had to hot glue rhinestones to candle votives

because I am

and I hate it

WTF is a votive?

those tiny little glass things you put a candle into

Oh. Why are you bedazzling them?

wedding prep

today is a half day so bridezilla has us crafting for her

Are all of you brides bitches teachers?

yes

it’s hell

you try to talk about your class and all you hear about is peonies and roses and baby’s breath

I’m glad I’m a dude then.

ha! you better be

oh my god, she’s gone psycho

if I don’t text she took my phone

Don’t die, I’m looking forward to our date.

Tuesday 7:17 PM

RIP Jo, Avid Cinnamon Toast Eater

Killed by Her Insane Bride Friend

I made it out!!!!

barely

Nice, I’ve heard a rabid bridezilla is hard to escape.

it was the worst

but she let me go when I told her I had to finish putting in grades for the year

(I finished last night)

I for one am proud of you. That’s badass.

lol i’ll keep that in mind

thursday is our last day before freedom

I think I might get shit faced as soon as I leave work

I support it wholeheartedly.

good because you’ll probably get more bar princess texts

Or if I’m lucky a phone call where you call me sexy again.

hey hey I didn’t call you sexy

I called your voice sexy

there’s a difference

Oh sorry, I don’t know how I overlooked that.

mhm sure

tomorrow is crazy hair day

Does this mean I get to see a picture of you? Because I’m definitely interested in seeing what you do with this spirit day thing.

i’ll save it for when we meet

I’m determined not to see you until our date

Suit yourself. Gotta go remove stitches.

oooohh how exhilarating!!

Wednesday 9:42 AM

How goes the crazy hair?

oh just dandy

half my hair is pink

You seem like the type to be able to pull of pink hair. Plus it’s pretty rad.

you’re too kind

I bribed the kids with cookies and a movie

i’m totally winning today

I just took out an appendix, I think I win.

just saying I don’t think that our jobs are comparable

but taking out an appendix sounds cool

Not as cool as cookies though.

I have a bunch left over

should I drop them on your doorstep?

Only if you want to. I wouldn’t say no to a good cookie. I’m here till 5.

i’ll stop by after work!!

we have another half day

Sweet. I’m glad you’re the one that found my number.

Wednesday 12:56 PM

Dude. George says you look like an adorable preschooler.

I FORGOT I HAD MY HAIR LIKE THIS

he was very understanding

Rave reviews on your “kindness and beautiful eyes”

oh my god

I have to die now

He might’ve mentioned your ass too. I’m painting a beautiful mental picture.

oh lord

brb gotta wash out this stupid hair dye

maybe bang my head against the shower wall

Oooh tell me more. I love a dirty shower fantasy.

oh booo

you’re not even trying anymore

Wednesday 5:55 PM

remember the titans is on tv

and it’s really good

in case you didn’t know

That movie is 20 years old, of course I know it’s good.

well clearly I didn’t

i didn’t have cable growing up

Oh neither did I, I just stole it from the neighbors.

that’s pretty bad ass for a kid

Had to keep my siblings entertained. You know how it is.

nope i’m an only child

That sounds like a dream. I have two younger siblings and they’re both a pain in the ass.

if you knew the half of it you’d be begging to trade places with me

I’m looking forward to hearing all of it.

Thursday 11:53 AM

FREEDOM!!!!!!

I AM FREE!!!!

HALLELUJAH!!!!!

I’m assuming school is out?

Y E S

$20 says I can sneak out of here without bridezilla roping me into a stupid arts and crafts project

I hope so, I’m enjoying talking to you today.

aren’t you at work??

Nope. Today is my day off.

and you’re not watching baseball and drinking beer?

It’s not even noon yet.

time is an illusion

it’s shots o clock somewhere or whatever they say

I’m now learning that the only cultural education you have is the Backstreet Boys. I think our second date will have to be a movie marathon.

already planning our second date?

ambitious

I like it

My conversation is fairly limited if I can’t drop a pop culture reference or two during the day.

I can see your points and i’m willing to sit myself down and watch the classics

okay gotta sneak past bridezilla… wish me luck

Good luck

Thursday 4:35 PM

Pork shoulder, corn, and potatoes all on the grill.

i’m jealous

I can’t cook to save my life

thank god we’re going out tonight

To celebrate finally breaking free for the summer?

exactly!! steph and izzie decided we needed to go to a club after dinner

i’ve never been to one before

Overpriced drinks and random guys grinding up on you all night. Not the best experience.

oh so random guys grind on you when you go out?

Shut up.

hahahaha

I’ve never even been to a club before. Not my scene. I just live with women so I know these things.

well i’ll update you on the happenings

let you know if I have to pay $20 for a drink

who’s grinding on my ass

you know normal everyday things

Woah woah woah.

what??

are you jealous??

I’m just saying if you’re gonna be shaking your ass, you might as well get random guys to buy you overpriced drinks.

you’re making some very good points

Of course I am. By the way, George wants me to tell you that you have a very shakeable ass so you should be taking in free drinks.

great I have to go die again

brb gonna drOWN MYSELF IN THE SHOWER

Thursday 10:38 PM

good news

i’ve secured three free drinks and a round of shots for all six of us

this ass is making money baby

I’ve created a monster. Who else is there?

steph, izzie, april, maggie, and levi

You brought the whole staff out didn’t you?

yes and I’m quite skilled at getting them drunk

You’re three drinks in and still texting correctly?

I think I danced it all off

need more fireball

And that’s another thing. Who willingly shoots Fireball?

me bitch

Ohh I love it when you call me names.

mmm i’m sure you do

okay i’m gonna go get more drinks

wish me luck

Good luck, I’m sure your ass will take in more than enough.

Thursday 11:57 PM

Incoming Voice Call

“Helloo?”

“Hi, it’s me.”

“I can afford caller ID, I knew it was you.”

“Were you sleeping?”

“No, I was about to head upstairs but I’m not tired.”

“Oh good. I just got home.”

“You sound tired. Did you have fun?”

“It was nice, Steph went home with some guy she met and Izzie went to her boyfriends so I’m home alone.”

“So you decided to call me?”

“I missed your voice, I told you that you have a nice voice.”

“You said that I have a sexy voice.”

“Oh shut up. I wanted to call before I went to sleep.”

“You’ve grown fond of me haven't you?”

“If you’re gonna say it like a weirdo then yes… I have grown fond of you, Snow White.”

“I guess I can say the same about you Bar Princess. Are you yawning over there?”

“Just a little bit, but I like talking to you.”

“It’s midnight, I wouldn’t blame you for falling asleep.”

“I don’t wanna fall asleep, I wanna keep talking to you.”

“How about I tell you the story of the time I was bridesman and I had to go to a bachelorette party?”

“Okay I’m listening…”

Friday 10:15 AM

I feel like a teenager

who the hell falls asleep on the phone

i’m in a bad rom com aren't I

Your snoring is really cute.

oh christ

well at least I didn’t take body shots off a male stripper

I was really hoping you’d be asleep before I got to that part.

oh nooo I remember that very clearly

i’ll be filing that away for blackmail

Rude. I guess I’ll save your snoring in that file too.

touché, I like the way you play the game

I’m an experienced player. Gotta go scrub in on a fundoplication.

have fun!!!

Friday 2:41 PM

I got bored and googled a fundoplication

that’s some crazy stuff, you’re kind of a badass

Easy peasy, all in a day's work.

nooo that’s amazing stuff!!

i’m in my classroom scraping gum and glitter off of the desks

Well you’re the reason people become doctors so I'd say you’re pretty important too.

awww you’re still trying to impress me

it’s a good look on you

I’m trying to be a gentleman. Maybe I’ll bring up your puke shoes just to be an asshole.

you know what even the mention of that can’t bring down my good mood

do you think I could get in trouble for drinking wine in my classroom?

Well there’s no kids around so… no. But I like the rebellious attitude you have towards the situation.

if i’m gonna sit in a classroom with no AC and scrape boogers off desks all day then I deserve some damn wine

You’re right and you should say it.

I DESERVE MY WINE I EARNED IT

oh shit maggie is outside i’m so fired

Hey you got her free shots last night, she should be thankful.

you know what you’re right

oh shit it’s bridezilla

Run.

whew

forgot we have our final dress fitting tomorrow

i’m not dead yet

Oh good. I kinda don’t want the first time I see you to be your funeral.

hahaha very funny

gotta go, we have to do this stupid year end meeting

I hate it here

Have fun, and remember don’t stab yourself with a pen!

Saturday 8:13 AM

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL MORNING

I wanna die

bridezilla is making us jog

and she took away my donuts

Saturday 9:53 AM

Jesus Christ. You need new friends.

honestly she’s not that bad when she’s not stressing over this wedding

she’s crying because she has a pimple

Oof that’s a tough run. Unfortunately, I have to spend the day out on a boat.

boohoo I don’t not feel bad for you

unless like… you have some childhood trauma from a boat

Nope. I get to relax and drink beer all day long.

yeah well then screw you

I have to try my stupid dress on and go to a stupid lunch and I CAN’T EVEN HAVE DONUTS

Aren’t you at home?

yes, steph invited everyone here since we have the space

why?

Check your porch.

YOU BROUGHT ME DONUTS?!

you’re my favorite

thank you thank you thank you

You’re welcome, I’m happy to be of service.

ohhhh I might just kiss you when we finally meet

I wouldn’t say no to that.

okay I gotta go hide in the closet and eat my donuts

thank you for thinking of me!!

It’s all I ever do.

Saturday 2:16 PM

How goes the dress trying on?

it was good!! mine fits and we have a beautiful bride on our hands

Good. I’m glad your day is getting better. I think I’m getting a sunburn.

you better not

that shit is dangerous

go find sunscreen

Now you’re concerned about me huh?

always

did you put the sunscreen on

Yes because I knew you’d spontaneously implode if I didn’t.

good

I didn’t want to you to burst into flames sitting in the sun

As a doctor, I can tell you that most likely would not be what happened.

now we have to sit through a boring ass lunch

it’s what the mother of the groom insists on

Is she paying for it though? …. yes

Well then stop complaining.

okay okay fine

hey quick question

which fork do i stab myself with

Go order a steak and drink an expensive glass of wine.

Saturday 10:39 PM

Incoming Voice Call

“Well well well, how the tables have turned.” “Bar Priiiiiincessss.” “Oh my god. This is so going in the blackmail file.”

“No don’t do that. If Jo finds out I was singing to another girl she’ll be mad.” “And why don’t you want Jo to be mad at you?” “Because I want to kiss her. And hug her. And see her face.”

“Well do I have a surprise for you.” “Oh I love surprises!”

“Jo and Bar Princess are the same person. I’m Jo.” “Holy crap! NO way!”

“Yes way, isn’t that crazy?”

“Can you tell Jo that she’s the nicest person I’ve ever met.” “I will relay the message. Jo is going to bed now though. Goodnight Alex.” “Good night Bar Princess, I miss you!”

#jolex #jolex fanfic #jolex fan fiction #jo karev #jo wilson #jo wilson karev #alex karev #alternate universe #jolex fic #jo x alex #greys anatomy #greys fanfic #INFJTT

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fireproofkings · 4 years

Text

The making of a sweater series

Part 1 || Part 2

Two things before we start: First, this is a long one and it has a few photos so buckle up if you’re reading. And second, I apologize in advance for the state of my nails in any of the pics, I know they are incredibly awful, but I promise I’ll do them tomorrow.

If you know me, you know I am the worst at keeping up with things, and if not, the fact that I have 7k drafts can give you a pretty good idea.

Last Saturday (July 11th) I went out and bought everything just as I expected, but while I was out shopping, Louis decided to attack us.

That’s one of those things you will always remember what you were doing the moment the news hit. I was buying all the supplies to make Harry’s sweater when Louis announced he was finally free.

My phone was blowing up, and when I went to check why, all of my group chats were screaming, and the lovely Ed (@literlarryreal) was sending me long voice notes telling me all the thoughts she has and let me tell you, it was a ride.

Yes, I cried in public and no, I am not ashamed to say it was not the first time I have done so with something Louis related.

Anyways, getting back on track, I spent way more than I was expecting to, but it’s alright lol. I am confident it’s all going to be worth it.

Under the cut you can find a summary on everything that happened this week with the process, and more pictures of Jack, my dog.

Here’s everything I bought that day. The quantities are exactly what is in the pattern in JW Anderson’s website (plus an extra colour I bought but then found a better match for, which I might use if I run out of any colour). I did end up finding everything, but I had to go to a few different stores to do it. There’s kind of a shortage due to the current situation and the fact that these aren’t essential goods.

I wanted to start that same Saturday, but I decided to finish that scarf I was making before, just so I wouldn’t have to go through all the trouble of changing needles and storing it away where it would probably get messed up, so I finished it and here’s a photo of it:

I ended up doing an infinity scarf, and have some yarn leftover, maybe I’ll do a hat or something like that in the future. Yes, those are my PJ’s don’t judge me.

Then I procrastinated starting the actual sweater for all of Sunday and Monday (12th and 13th). That’s something I tend to do, if you haven’t noticed.

One thing I hadn’t thought of as particularly hard, ended up being something out of my nightmares (I also tend to over exaggerate, if you’re reading this, you’re really getting to know me lol).

That green square is incredibly awful.

The pattern itself isn’t that difficult, but if you have to undo some lines it completely falls apart and you have to start over. This happened to me like three times the first time I attempted it.

Usually it takes me half an hour to 45 minutes to do one square, this one took literally two hours and a half. But it was so much easier and quicker the second time around. Putting in a lifeline and doing tallies in a notepad every time I finished a line helped a lot.

Jack did end up making it better. Even if him laying directly on top of it made it difficult to work.

On the other hand, the black and red jacquard squares were something that had me slightly worried. The technique is kinda confusing and is very easy to mess up if you are not paying attention.

The first few lines I did wrong, but then I learned how to do it properly and while the handling of the multiple strands of yarn is difficult, you get the hang of it pretty quickly.

But then, horror struck.

I realised that for some reason I was doing the squares 12cm long and not 14cm like they are supposed to be. So that panel was going to end up being 6cm shorter than the others in total, which doesn’t seem like much but was definitely going to show.

Here you can see the mess. I had to undo basically two whole squares, since the first one was 14cm (I really don’t know what was going on in my brain) and the second one, which was a jacquard pattern one, could be continued, but those two squares cost me about a whole day of work.

I was so frustrated I decided to stop for the day and take a long hot shower.

I came back to it the next day and Jack made it all better (can you sense a pattern -no pun intended- here?).

So, to wrap it up:

They are lined up in the way they go in the completed sweater. The little notes on top help me keep track of which one is each of them. The numbers in blue show the order in which they were done.

The first one was pretty easy except for the green square I talked about before, I started that one on Tuesday (14th) and finished on Wednesday (15th). That same day I started the second one which I finished early on Thursday (16th), it was really uneventful which I appreciated a lot, apart from my pointer finger hurting from pushing the needle, so I decided to invent some kind of protection with tape and silicone, which failed extremely, because it rides up and falls off.

Here you can see my failed attempt at some kind of protection for my pointer finger. I basically need a thimble, but I can’t find one online.

Maybe the uneventfulness of panel number two was to make up for the absolute nightmare that was the third panel that I had started that same day, the one I talked about being 6cm too short. It threw me off the loop for the rest of the day, which meant I only finished it late on Friday (17th) and by then I was too tired to do anything else.

Yesterday, on Saturday (18th) I started the fourth one, but I didn’t have the energy to work that much, and today, Sunday (19th), I haven’t done much more than a couple of rows.

By this point I have 3 completed back centre panels and another one 3/4 of the way done. I just have that 1/4 and the two side panels (that include shoulder shaping) left to finish the back, and then I have the front, sleeves, cuffs, collar, ribs, and button band to finish the knitting. Then it’s all ready to sew together.

Just as I did with last post, I want to close this off with some pointers for what is coming, just to keep myself on track and look back to later:

This week I want to finish the back and leave it all ready for sewing when I’m done with the rest of the knitting.

I have to write for a fic exchange I wish I had started earlier but I’m still confident on the time I have left, so that will be my priority, and not knitting.

I start classes again on August 3rd and I hope to be finished by then (with both the sweater and the fic lol), I am kinda confident I will be able to do it since I’m kind of 1/3 of the way through, so if I keep the same pace, or an even better one, I’ll be able to make it.

Something I’m not looking forward to is doing the shoulder shaping, I have no idea how to.

I have been worried the yarn I bought isn’t going to be enough (it might be just my anxiety talking), but I think it’s going to be okay since I am nearly 1/3 of the way through on the squares with one of the colours, but I haven’t gone through that amount of yarn yet.

I have made the executive decision to not do the tassels with the left over yarn and to sew the panels and ribbing together right sides together (so the seams will be on the inside) to give it a more polished look, but this might change in the future.

I’m starting to see it take shape, even if only the back, and I’m really excited!!!

If you want to see the other posts in these series go to the top where the other parts are linked or go to the tag here.

#the making of a sweater #mine #jack #harry's patchwork sweater #louis is free #sorry for all the dates #it's just so i can keep track of the time it's taking #thank you if you read this lol

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mustangshelby04 · 5 years

Text

Boston Boy - Chapter 14

Kate wandered around the clean, white living room and admired the view from the backyard while Lisa followed her. Chris came in behind them, setting their luggage down. They were in Los Angeles for the Civil War press and premiere. There were a lot of firsts happening on this trip for her. First private jet ride, first time on the West Coast, first time going to a movie premiere, first time going public with her celebrity boyfriend…. She was working on not being overwhelmed.

“Welcome to my home away from home.” Chris said, walking up being Kate and wrapping his arms around her. His hands went to her belly and he rubbed them in small circles.

“The view is pretty.” Kate said, leaning on him and laying her head back on his shoulder. She was exhausted from jet lag and had developed a headache.

“You should go lay down, honey.” Lisa said, checking Kate’s forehead.

“Do I have time?”

“We’ve got plenty of time.” Chris said. “Ma’s right. You should go lay down.”

“You need to take care of yourself, Kat.” Lisa said. “Chris, go lay down with her. It’ll make her feel more comfortable in an unfamiliar bed. I can entertain myself.”

He kissed Kate’s temple after she nodded her agreement. “Come on, baby. Let’s go lay down.”

“I’ve got such a headache.” Kate said, rubbing her temples.

“I’ll get your Tylenol.” Lisa said.

“I have to pee again.” She grumbled as Chris led her to his master bedroom.

He pointed at the door to the master bathroom. “It’s right in there. I’ll go grab our bags.”

“Ok.” When she came back out, Chris was sitting on the bed holding a glass of water and two Tylenol pills. A pair of fluffy shorts and a large T-shirt sat next to him. He had changed from his jeans and sweater to a pair of gray sweatpants and no shirt. Their suitcases were sitting in and around the chair in the corner of the room. “Feel better?”

“Only my bladder does. My head still hurts and my feet are swollen and I want to take a nap.”

“Here, take these.” He handed her the pills and water. Once she took them, he helped her to get into the shorts and shirt before easing her onto the bed. He sat down and took her feet in his lap.

She sighed with pleasure as he began to rub her feet. “Tell me about what’s on the agenda this week.”

“Tomorrow is the MTV Movie Awards. Sunday I’ve got press to do all day. Monday I film Ellen with Lizzie and later is Jimmy Kimmel Live. Then Tuesday is the premiere.”

“Then on to China?”

“Are you sure you’re up for it? You could always fly back with Ma.” “I’ll be fine. I’m excited for London. It’s only a couple of days, but I’ve always wanted to go.”

“I’m just worried about all that traveling and how it’ll affect you.”

“I’ll be tired, but it’s nothing I’m not used to right now. I can’t sleep on my stomach, so I can’t get comfortable, so I don’t get much sleep. Maybe I’ll be able to sleep on one of the planes.”

“You didn’t get any sleep on the plane here.”

“I’ll figure it out.” Kate sighed and rubbed her stomach. “Being pregnant is hard.”

Chris chuckled. “I can only imagine.”

She reached out for him. “Come lay down. Be my big spoon.”

“Happily.” Chris crawled up her body, kissing his way up her leg and then her arm. He dropped behind her and spooned against her, wrapping his arm around her and rubbing small circles on her belly. A strong kick to his hand made him jerk back. “Holy shit!” He laughed and put his hand back.

“Oh good, you can feel that now, too.” Kate heard him sniff behind her and she turned her head to see Chris wiping at tears running down his cheeks. “Awe, Chris….”

“Sorry. I just…. That’s my kid. That’s our kid. We made that.”

“We sure did.” She turned over onto her back and covered his hand with hers as he rested it on her belly.

He laughed again as the baby kicked his hand. “Kat, I am so fucking happy. I can’t remember ever being happier.”

Kate reached up and wiped away his tears with her free hand. “Is it just now hitting you that you’re going to be a daddy?”

“A little bit.” He ducked his head to kiss her shoulder and then rested his head there, staring at their hands on her stomach. “I’ve known it was coming. I’ve watched you grow with our little Jelly Bean in there, but feeling our baby kick…. It means it’s real.”

“Oh, what? I was just getting fatter till now?” Her tone implied that she was joking, but Chris still looked panicked.

“I didn’t say that!”

She giggled. “Baby, calm down. I was kidding.” “I know, but I don’t want you to ever think that you’re fat or ugly. You are so gorgeous and you just get more beautiful with every day that passes and I just love you so fucking much.”

“You don’t have to try so hard to get laid.” Kate poked Chris’ nose with a grin. “I’m all yours, baby.”

Chris laughed and kissed her. “We’re supposed to be sleeping.”

“This leads to sleep eventually….” A jaw-splitting yawn cut her off.

“You sleep. If you feel up to it later, then we’ll work something out.”

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

When Kate woke up a couple of hours later, she felt the familiar roiling of her stomach. She quickly got out of bed and rushed into the bathroom. Lisa happened to be walking by Chris’ bedroom door when she heard the retching. She rushed into the bathroom and knelt down by Kate, holding her hair with one hand and rubbing her back with the other. Chris was in the kitchen on the phone with Megan.

“I thought the second trimester was supposed to be a cakewalk.” Kate said with a shaky voice.

“That’s a myth.” Lisa said, sitting with Kate. “There is nothing about being pregnant that is a cakewalk.”

“Maybe I need to start reading those books I bought.”

“You haven’t started?”

“I’ve been tracking my pregnancy on an app on my phone. It gives me all the details of what I can expect that week and the size of the baby.”

“That’s really neat.”

“This week, Jelly Bean is the size of a head of cauliflower.” Lisa laughed. “Chris has the app, too.”

“There’s a party in my bathroom.” Chris said, drawing the women’s attention to him standing in the doorway. “Everything ok?”

“Morning sickness that can’t tell time.” Kate said. “Now that it’s over, I feel better.”

“It was probably all the excitement of travelling.” Lisa said, getting to her feet with her son’s help.

“Thanks for being here with her, ma.” Chris said, taking his mother’s vacated seat on the bathroom floor.

“It’s my pleasure. I’ll go see what I can cook up for dinner later.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it. I thought we could take Kate out for a little site-seeing and dinner somewhere if she feels up to it.” He looked over at Kate. “Since you’ve never been here, I thought it could be fun.”

“Only if you feel up to it, sweetie. You don’t want to tire yourself out any more than you already have.”

“I actually feel pretty rested right now.” Kate said. “I wouldn’t mind some site-seeing with you guys. Will it be ok for you, Chris? I know LA is kind of paparazzi central.”

“Yeah. I’ll just pop on some sunglasses and a hat. It should be a good enough disguise.”

“Kate, you’ll need to put some on, too.” Lisa said. “The internet has your picture everywhere and people are going to notice you. Especially in Los Angeles. The last thing you two need is to get mobbed.”

“I’ve got a few hats you can choose from, babe.”

“Ok. Get your ass up and help me up.” Chris chuckled and hopped to his feet. He held his hands out and helped Kate to stand up. When he leaned in to kiss her, she ducked her head away. “You really don’t want to do that.”

He laughed and kissed her forehead. “I’ll go unpack your toothbrush.”

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

Chris sat on the edge of the bed and watched Kate sleep. She had been fast asleep when he’d woken up that morning and he hadn’t wanted to disturb her. They had gotten home kind of late the night before. He had planned on taking her to Grauman’s Theatre, a few places on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, Rodeo Drive, and maybe the Griffith Observatory. Instead, she had convinced him to take her to Disneyland. They had spent all afternoon and well into the night there, closing the place down. She couldn’t do any of the thrill rides, but she had had plenty of fun with everything else she could do. They had enjoyed a late romantic dinner at Carthay Circle Restaurant. They had been lucky to get a table, but there had been a last-minute cancellation. Lisa had spent the afternoon with them, but had left early in the evening to give the couple time together.

“Hey sleepy head.” Chris leaned over and kissed her cheek. “It’s almost noon.”

“Mmmm.” Kate tried to roll onto her stomach, but her bump stopped her and she groaned.

He chuckled. “I’m really happy that you got some sleep, but now we’ve gotta start getting ready to go. Jenn is here to pamper you.”

She lifted her head and curled around to lay it on Chris’ lap. “I’m cozy.”

Chris smoothed out her unruly hair. “I know. If you don’t want to go to the show with me, you don’t have to. Ma isn’t going. I’m sure you guys can hang out here or go out and sightsee around LA.”

“I want to go, but I want to be asleep, too.”

“I promise we won’t be there long. I just have to introduce a clip from the movie and then mingle a little bit.”

Kate nodded and moved to sit up. She ended up facing Chris and gave him a smile before leaning forward and nuzzling her head on his shoulder. He laughed and wrapped his arms around her. “Am I really going to the MTV Movie Awards tonight?”

“Seems like.”

“I used to watch them all the time when I was younger.”

“They were a lot more exciting back then, right?”

“They really were. I think the last decent one I remember seeing was the one that Sarah Michelle Gellar and Jack Black hosted. Or maybe it was when Justin Timberlake hosted with that guy from American Pie.”

“You know Justin lives down the road from me?”

“Really? I might go for a walk tomorrow. Which way should I head?”

Chris laughed and kissed the top of her head. “Good thing he’s married. You would win him over and I might lose you to him.”

“Oh, you definitely would. I’m a hardcore NSYNC fan.”

“Don’t tell Shanna that. She’s hardcore Backstreet Boys.”

Kate giggled. “Ok, I guess I’ll get up now. I’m going to brush my teeth before I go out there, though.”

“Ok. I’ll wait here.” Chris laid down and stretched out in her vacated spot.

“Well, that’s not fair. Why do you get to lay down?”

“Because I’m not getting my hair and makeup done.”

“You should probably rethink that. The camera is definitely going to pick up how hideous your face actually is, then.”

Chris laughed loudly, covering his chest with his hand as the rest of his limbs levitated off the mattress. He turned on his side and propped his head up on his hand. “Maybe I should let you go out and introduce the clip? You’re already gorgeous. That hair and makeup is only going to make it stand out more.”

“Pretty sure I would disappoint all your fans.”

“Just the female ones. The male fans might try to steal you away.”

“Well, I’m also pretty sure Jelly Bean is a big deterrent to other guys.” She turned and walked into the bathroom while Chris just grinned at her.

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

The place was loud and full of beautifully dressed celebrities. Jenn had dressed Kate in a fashionable blue dress that was off the shoulders and hugged her body from her shoulders to her knees. It made her bump stand out. She was wearing a pair of black, peep-toe pumps that had four-inch heels. Jenn had teased her hair and then put it into a low side ponytail. Her makeup was done very naturally and dewy as a request from Chris to just show off Kate’s natural beauty.

Kate gripped Chris’ hand as they walked through the backstage area behind Megan, his publicist. The place was actually outdoors this year. Everywhere they went, people stared inquisitively at her. Chris waved at and talked to some of the celebrities, always introducing Kate. Some of them were friendly to her, others just nodded and ignored her. She was starting to feel like an outsider and it was making her cling to Chris as her insecurities started to creep through her.

“Captain Little Ass!” An unmistakable, loud voice called from a few feet away. They turned to see Anthony Mackie making his way over. “Bring it in here, bro!” The two men hugged tightly. “Congratulations, man! Welcome to the daddy club!”

“Thank you.” Chris laughed. “Mackie, this is my girlfriend, Kate. Kate, this is Anthony Mackie.”

“I’m a hugger.” Mackie warned, bringing Kate into a tight hug. “Congratulations to you, too!”

“Thank you. It’s lovely to meet you.” Kate smiled as Chris wrapped his arm around her waist.

“This dude talks non-stop about you. Seriously, the Avengers group chat has been non-stop Kate talk.”

“Oh, god. That’s embarrassing.”

“Don’t be embarrassed. We’re all really excited for you guys. And he has nothing but great things to say about you.”

Kate looked up at Chris lovingly. “That’s so sweet.”

“So, when are you due?”

“July 22nd.” Chris and Kate said in unison.

Mackie laughed. “Not too much longer. You’re almost in your third trimester, then.”

“Yes.”

“Are you excited?”

“Is that the same thing as nervous? If so, then yes.”

“You’ve got nothing to worry about. If you need any advice, my wife, Sheletta, would be more than happy to help you out. She pretty much adopted Chris the moment she met him, so you’re family now, too.”

“Oh, thank you!”

“What am I saying? You’re getting hit with advice left and right, I bet.”

“A little bit, but I’m just trying to listen to my body and my doctor.”

“That’s the best thing. Every pregnancy is different. You do you, girl.”

“Chris, Josh Horowitz wants to do an interview with you and Mackie.” Megan said.

“Oh, uh….” Chris looked at Kate, not wanting to leave her.

“I’ll guard her.” A deep, Australian voice said from their left.

“Hemmy!” Chris and Mackie yelled. The three men embraced and Chris turned back to Kate. “Kat, this is Chris Hemsworth. Hemmy, this is my girlfriend, Kate.”

“It’s nice to meet you.” Kate said, shaking Hemsworth’s hand. “I’m not gonna call you Hemmy.”

Hemsworth laughed. “It’s ok. I’ve tried to get them to stop, but they’re assholes. Look at you! You’re bloody gorgeous. Has Evans figured out that you’re out of his league, yet?”

“Oh gosh!” Kate blushed profusely. “I am way out of my element right now.”

“For the record, I figured it out a long time ago.” Chris said. “But she keeps choosing me, so I’m not complaining.” He kissed her quickly. “You’re in good hands with Hemmy. I’ll be quick.” She watched him walk off with Megan and Mackie.

“How are you feeling?” Hemsworth asked.

“I’m ok. I actually got to sleep last night.” Kate said, turning to look up at the tall Australian.

“Evans gushes about you and the baby non-stop.”

She laughed. “So I’ve heard.”

“We’re all really excited about it. He’s going to be such a great dad. We’re all really excited to get to know you, too.”

“That’s so sweet. You and your wife just had twins, right?”

“We did! They’re almost two years old now.”

“Congratulations. That must be terrifying.”

Hemsworth laughed. “It was a bit of a shock at first, but we absolutely love it.”

“I’m sure it’s fun being outnumbered.”

“You’ll find out eventually, I’m sure.”

“Oh, we, uh…. We haven’t talked about that.”

“Oh god, I’m sorry. Please, ignore me. I talk too much.”

“No. It’s ok. Really! I mean, I’ve known that Chris wants kids plural. I am a fan of his and I’ve seen his interviews. I think you guys did one for Age of Ultron talking about him wanting kids after babysitting yours.”

“Good memory.”

“It’s just that…. Well, this one was kind of a shock, so I haven’t even thought about anything past this one.”

“I’m sorry. Evans said that it wasn’t planned. I just stuck my foot in my mouth. I hope you’re not offended.”

“I’m not. Really, I’m not.”

“Just the way he talks about you and the future….” Hemsworth shrugged sheepishly. “Topic change?”

“Sure!”

“Are you excited about going to the premiere later this week?”

“I’m nervous.”

“Don’t be. You’ll have a blast. I won’t lie and say the first time isn’t intimidating, but once you get over the initial insanity of it all, it’s actually quite fun.”

“Will you be there?”

“No. Thor didn’t get invited to the war. Besides, I’ve got press to do for this movie.”

“Hey, how do you handle people wanting to know every detail about you?”

“Deflection. You give them just enough to think they’re actually getting something juicy, but in reality it’s just something they already know just rephrased.”

“I have no idea how to do that.”

Hemsworth laughed. “Honestly, I have no idea either. My wife gets annoyed with me sometimes because I think I always manage to give too much away.”

“I’m really glad I’m not a celebrity. I don’t know how you guys can do interview after interview with the same questions.”

“Oh, that’s easy. The more bored I get as the interviews go along, the more insane my answers get. I kind of feel sorry for the reporters at the end of the day because they’re just getting complete bullshit out of me.”

Kate laughed. “Chris told me he gets kind of crazy at the end of junkets, too.”

“Marvel stopped letting us interview together because we were just the worst.”

“It’s true.” Megan said, joining the conversation. “I got so many calls about the shit that came out of them, I could’ve wrung their necks for it.”

“I’d say I’m sorry, but it was too much fun.”

“Thanks, Hemsworth.” Megan laughed. “Chris is just finishing up and he’s got to go do his intro. If you want to watch, there’s a green room we can go to.” “I was heading there, too.” Hemsworth said. “I’ve got to meet up with Charlize and Jessica.”

“Can I go to the bathroom first?” Kate asked.

“Again? You just went when we got here.” Megan said.

“She’s pregnant, Megan.” Hemsworth chastised. “She can’t help it.”

“Right. Sorry. Come on. There’s a bathroom in the green room.”

“Thanks.” Kate said. Hemsworth fell into step next to Kate and leaned over to whisper in her ear, “Told you I would protect you.”

“Thor to the rescue.”

“Always, fair maiden.”

Megan led them into the building that housed a large, plush area that was also filled with celebrities. She pointed out the restrooms and promised to be waiting right outside the doors. Hemsworth told Kate he wouldn’t leave the room until he’d gotten to see her again before heading off to join his castmates.

“Have you seen her yet?” A voice asked as two women walked into the bathroom. Kate had just gotten settled on the toilet.

“Yes.” The other woman said. “Clearly she got pregnant on purpose to keep him around.”

“You think?”

“I mean, why else would he choose to stay with someone so fat and pathetic? She looks like she’s going to burst out of that dress at any moment like a can of biscuits. It’s gross.”

“I don’t know. She’s kind of cute.”

“Please! She’s a complete stalker. There’s no way they met by chance.”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you actually believe she was just there on vacation by herself? Who even does that? That’s just sad. She totally went to Boston to stalk her celebrity crush and managed to fool him into sleeping with her. Now she’s got him trapped playing house.” Kate felt like she’d been hit with a ton of bricks. They were talking about her. She peeked through the slit in the stall door to see if she could tell who the women were.

“You sure you’re not just mad that you didn’t think of it first?”

“I would never allow myself to get pregnant to keep a man. I’m not desperate like that. That’s just over-the-top, trailer-park trash skanky.”

“Well, he’s with her now. What can you do about it?”

“I was actually hoping to run into him tonight. See if I can’t get him to scratch an itch one more time, if you know what I mean.”

“You two were definitely hot together.”

“You have no idea. I bet he’s so bored with the porker that he needs some excitement in his life. You know, I almost regret breaking it off with him.”

“Why did you?”

“I got bored. Besides, he was starting to talk about marriage and I just wasn’t feeling that. I will say that the thing I regret most about the breakup is giving up the sex. He is great in bed.” The woman laughed harshly. “How the hell he can find where to stick it in all that fat is beyond me. Seriously, how did that cow get him to sleep with her? And who does she think she is coming here with him?”

“You’re just mad he never brought you anywhere.” Megan’s voice said suddenly.

“Megan!”

“Finally dumping your fame hungry ass was the greatest thing Chris ever did, Minka.”

“Fuck you too, twerp.” Minka and her friend stormed out of the bathroom.

Kate felt her face getting hotter as tears fell down her cheeks. The woman talking shit about her was Chris’ ex-girlfriend, Minka Kelly.

“Kat?” Megan called softly.

Kate didn’t answer as she felt her throat constrict with overwhelming emotions. The things Minka had said were vile and hurtful. Kate tried her hardest to not let others’ opinions of her bother her too much, but to hear someone discuss her private life and be so vicious towards someone they didn’t even know was awful. And there was a little voice in the back of her head that wondered if it was all true. Had she trapped Chris because she wouldn’t have an abortion?

“Kat, I know you’re in here.” Megan said. Kate sighed and got up off the toilet. She adjusted her dress and walked out. “Oh, Kat, I’m so sorry. Minka is such a bitch.” “Clearly.” Kate spat.

Megan handed her a tissue. “Please don’t listen to her. Chris adores you.”

“I don’t stack up to her, Megan. I don’t stack up to any of the people in his life here. We’ve been living in this little bubble and I forgot for a while, but being here…. Seeing these people…. Seeing her…. What the hell am I doing here?”

“You’ve got it all wrong, Kat. They don’t stack up to you. Trust me. I’ve been with Chris a long damn time and I’ve seen them all. Minka may be pretty on the outside, but she’s an ugly person on the inside. She’s just jealous.” Megan hugged Kate tightly. “Seriously, she was the absolute worst thing on the planet for Chris. She’s a fame whore. She jumps to an ‘it’ guy and rides his coattails until the next ‘it’ guy comes along. Chris actually thought they had something, but she was just leading him on. He finally realized it the second time they dated and he dumped her.”

“What about all the others?”

“There’s really not that many, Kat. And trust me, none of them have what you have.”

“And what is that?”

“Chris’ heart. Seriously, that man is head over heels for you in a way he’s never been before.”

“You didn’t hear what she said, Megan.”

“Not all of it, but I heard enough. I’m so sorry, Kate. This is all my fault. I got distracted and completely missed her coming in here. I should’ve headed her off.” Kate glanced at herself in the mirror and groaned. “Don’t worry about it. Chris should be done and we can leave now. He doesn’t have to stay if you don’t want to.”

“I don’t want to. I just want to go home.”

“Ok. We can definitely do that.”

Megan helped Kate clean her face up as best she could. It was clear that Kate had been crying, but at least her mascara wasn’t running down her cheeks anymore. When she finally felt presentable, she followed Megan out of the bathroom. Glancing around, she spotted Chris talking to Minka across the room. Her hand was on his bicep and she was laughing at something he said. Kate’s stomach dropped and fresh tears welled in her eyes.

“Fuck me.” Megan snapped emphatically. Lucky for her, Hemsworth was nearby. “Hey, Chris, can you take Kate to where they’re keeping the cars? She’s not feeling great. I need to go get Chris.”

“Of course!” Hemsworth walked over and wrapped an arm around Kate’s shoulders. “Come on, sweetheart. Let’s get you out of here.”

“Thank you.” Kate said, her voice wobbling as she tried to fight back the tears.

“Pregnancy sickness is no joke. I’m sorry it’s ruined your night.” He rubbed her arm affectionately. “Evans will get you home and you’ll feel better in no time.”

“Thanks.”

Hemsworth got them to the loading area and let the valet there know that Kate was with Chris Evans. The valet rushed off to get the driver out there quickly. Kate was having a hard time keeping the tears at bay and now her morning sickness was actually trying to rear its ugly head. Thankfully the car got there quickly and Hemsworth helped her in, telling her he hoped she felt better soon.

Inside the green room, Megan marched over to Chris and Minka. “Seriously?” She snapped at the tall brunette. “You seriously have the nerve to walk over here and talk to him after all that?”

“Whoa, Megan! What’s going on?” Chris asked.

“Kate was in the bathroom while your ex-bitch here talked shit about her.”

“What?”

“I didn’t know she was in there.” Minka said, her tone implying that she didn’t care Kate had heard everything.

“Who the fuck cares if you didn’t know?” Megan snapped. “You don’t know her and you have no claim on Chris, so you shouldn’t even be opening your mouth. The things you said about her were fucked up.”

“Seriously?” Chris growled.

“It’s not my fault if she can’t handle people talking about her.” Minka defended. “I was just repeating what I’ve heard. Maybe she shouldn’t have set her sights on someone so out of her league if she can’t take people talking about her.”

“Watch your fucking mouth.”

“After all I meant to you, you’re going to speak to me like that over her?”

“You mean absolutely nothing to me. Kate means everything to me! Try spreading that shit around instead of the bullshit you’re spewing.”

“Chris….”

“We’re done here. Stay away from me and my family. Megan, let’s go.” Chris turned and marched off with Megan rushing to keep up. They passed Hemsworth on the way and he let them know Kate was already in the car. Chris picked up his pace and practically ran to the car. Kate was sitting in the back trying not to hyperventilate. “Oh, babe, I am so fucking sorry.” Chris wrapped Kate in his arms and she began to sob. “Please don’t let her get to you. Please, baby. She’s a piece of shit.” Kate couldn’t say anything. She was too overcome with hurt and anger and it wasn’t helping her keep her morning sickness at bay. Megan ordered the driver to pull over and Kate barely made it out of the car before she was sick on the side of the interstate.

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

Chris laid beside Kate and watched her sleep in the darkness. He didn’t know exactly what Minka had said. Kate hadn’t been coherent as they drove home and she had decided to just go to bed when they got to their house. Lisa had tried to get her to talk while she’d helped her clean up and get into her shirt and shorts, but Kate just hadn’t felt like talking.

He reached over and placed his hand on her stomach, hoping to feel the baby move. “Did I trap you, Chris?” Her voice startled him. He thought she’d been deep asleep.

Then the meaning of her words hit him. “What?”

She pushed his hand away from her. “I did, didn’t I? Because I wouldn’t have an abortion, you felt obligated to stay with me.”

“I think you forgot about the two months before we found out….”

“I’m sorry, Chris. I’m sorry for invading your life. It’s not what I meant to happen.”

“Stop it.”

“But it’s true! You were living your life and then I just showed up and….”

“Made everything brighter. You made my world better, Kat.”

“How did I do that? I said from the beginning that I’m nothing special.”

“And I said from the beginning that you are extraordinary. You haven’t done anything to prove me wrong.”

“The things she said…. Are people really saying that about me?”

“Who gives a shit? Nothing anyone says is going to change how I feel about you.”

“I’m just a nobody fangirl who met the celebrity she adored and fooled him into loving her.”

“Is that how you really feel? Or is that a conditioned response?”

“Conditioned response?”

Chris sat up and turned the bedside lamp on. “Kat, your father spent years making sure that you felt like you were never going to be good enough. You spent years in therapy trying to recondition yourself to think otherwise, but you’re going back to that old way of thinking right now. Do you remember what you said to me in Boston when I was worried about people being mean to you? You were so confident in yourself then. You said that you had heard it all about yourself and it wasn’t going to bother you. Where did that Kat go?” “She was wrong. It does bother me.”

“Why?” “Because my father was right. I’m not good enough, Chris! I’m not good enough to be your partner. I’m not good enough to….”

“Stop it!”

“Look at how I reacted tonight! That’s not how someone in a relationship with Chris fucking Evans should react to anyone talking shit about her.”

“How should she react?”

“She should have walked out of that stall and told Minka to go fuck herself.”

“And why didn’t she?”

“Because I’m not her! I just sat there and listened to it and I didn’t stand up for myself because I feel like maybe she was right. Maybe I did trap you because I wouldn’t have an abortion.”

“Take your pass.”

“What?”

“Take your pass.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m giving you a hormone pass. Take it.”

“You think this is just hormones?”

“I know this is just hormones. Baby, you had a rough night and you’re allowed to feel shitty, but I need you to take the hormone pass and come back to me, ok?”

“Chris….”

“Take the hormone pass, damn it!”

She blinked at him for a moment. “Ok! I take the hormone pass!”

“Thank you.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“I love you, too.” Chris stopped for a moment and stared at her. He seemed to come to some conclusion and smiled to himself. “Kathleen Amelia Allen, I love you. It is insane how much I love you.”

“Sometimes I really believe that insane part.”

He reached over and pulled out a little wooden box from the nightstand on his side of the bed. He opened it to reveal a beautiful and unique engagement ring sitting in dark blue velvet. The white gold ring was an art deco style with a European cut diamond set in a square-shaped halo of French cut sapphire accents. A pear-shaped natural sapphire sat on either side of the square. “Kat, I bought this in Savannah after I left Richmond. I bought this only three weeks after we met. I was wandering through town waiting for you to get off work so I could call you and I saw this in the window of an old antique shop. It just screamed your name. I walked in and bought it because I knew one day, I wanted to give it to you. I bought it well before I knew you were pregnant. I’ve carried it with me everywhere I go since that day just waiting for the perfect moment.”

“You think me having a mental breakdown because your ex said some nasty things about me and made me realize how big and different your world actually is, is a perfect moment?”

“Uh…. Actually….” His resolve wavered for a moment, but he pushed it aside and continued on. “Yes.” He wove the fingers of his free hand with one of hers. “Kat, I have never in my life felt about anyone the way I feel about you. Now is the perfect moment for you to understand that. You didn’t trap me. I’m exactly where I was meant to be and I’m asking you to be there with me, too. I’m asking you to marry me.” Kate opened and closed her mouth a few times, not finding the right words to come out. “I’m going to set this right here,” Chris kissed her hand and leaned over her to set the open ring box on her nightstand. “You don’t have to answer me tonight. Or tomorrow. Or the next day, or the day after that…. But the question is there to be answered when you’re ready to answer it, ok?” She nodded. “Let’s go to sleep now?” Kate nodded again, laying on her side and letting Chris spoon against her back.

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breadcaaat · 5 years

Text

part four

Jeongguk x hybrid!reader

Words: 3.5k

Genre: action, fluff, eventual smut if i’m brave enough??

Warnings: nudity (again,) blood!!, violence, foul language

“You what, kid? You have three jobs already. Take this and you won’t have any time for sleeping, eating… anything not-working. Seriously, what’s up?”

Jeongguk fidgeted, “I, I need the money.”

Yoongi spat his cigarette butt onto the pavement and crushed it with one hard bootheel, wondering out loud what the hell he’s spending all his money on with a growl. Hookers? Cocaine? Clothes? Food? Probably food. Jeongguk doesn’t have a bad bone in his body.

He wiped at his lips and thought about it. It’d be nice to have him around, and it’d be good to keep an eye on him. He could also force the kid (not that he wasn’t more than four years older, cough) to take a nap every once in a while, pay him some bonuses so he gets out of that nasty convenience store.

Thing was, he was already at full staff except for a few shifts, and those weren’t ones he wanted the kid working. Gloss may be a barbershop by day - and a good one, dammit - but at night it served as a tattoo parlor, which was, frankly, illegal since he wasn’t a “licensed medical practitioner.” Those were the times he had shifts open.

He sighed and glanced over at Jeongguk. Yoongi had met him about a year ago when the kid had walked in one day with a too-shaggy bowl cut asking to borrow a pair of scissors. He’d lent them, curious as to what Jeongguk would do, until the kid walked outside and tried to cut his bangs so he could see properly for work. No mirror. Kitchen scissors. Yoongi had just about had an aneurysm. He’d snatched away the scissors, dragged Jeongguk inside, and made him sit through a proper haircut. The kid had complained the whole time, too, trying to sneak away when he wasn’t looking and moaning about not being able to afford these things, to which Yoongi had sat him back down with a glare and continued each time.

“I’m not charging you jack shit. Sit down. Next time your hair gets like this come back here but for God’s sake don’t take a pair of kitchen scissors to it again.”

Since then, Jeongguk had dropped by every so often - delivering breakfast, finishing the odd task here and there, light drinking on his days off. He was endearing. Sweet. Hard-working. Undeserving of all the shit this city had put him through but hey, those were the motions.

“When are you free?”

Jeongguk visibly deflated in relief. “Saturday, Tuesday, and Friday night, and then all day Sunday.”

“Is Sunday your day off normally?”

Jeongguk puckered his lips, not wanting to say yes but physically incapable of telling a lie. Yoongi huffed.

“Jesus, okay. Keep Sunday. Come in on the other three an hour after the shift before it ends, I don’t really care. Does blood make you squeamish?”

“How often is there blood to see in a barbershop?”

“You know what the night shifts are, Jeongguk.”

“Oh. Oh! The tattoo thing?” Yoongi nodded, and he continued. “No, doesn’t bother me.” Yoongi squinted at him until he broke. “Not that much,” he corrected.

“Good. Start whenever, and I’ll officially employ you.”

“... No interview?”

“Do you want to be interviewed?”

“Not particularly.”

“Then congrats,” he patted Jeongguk on the back as he passed him to head back inside Gloss, “ - you’ve got the job.” The bells jingled behind him as he exited that conversation, shaking his head. God, he really was worried about him. It’s not like Yoongi was particularly good at remembering to take care of himself - there’ve been plenty of times he’s accidentally not slept for a couple days or forgotten a few meals. It’s just different with Jungkook, because, well, it’s Jungkook. Yoongi can piss on the temple that’s his body all he wants because it’s his, but Jungkook needs to take care of himself. He’s got an ambiguous future full of possibilities ahead of him, and he’s still growing.

“I’m forcing him to take a nap when he comes in,” he mumbles to himself, sliding behind the front desk to check when his next appointment is.

“I want a new name.”

Jeongguk and Stripes were both lounging that night on opposite sides of the bed, Jeongguk exhausted after two long shifts at the breakfast place and the moving company and Stripes restless from staying inside all day since she didn’t have clothes of her own. Jeongguk was going to try and get some hand-me-downs from Miyun, he just needed a proper excuse to not sound like a weirdo. Until then, she was stuck here in her boredom.

He shuffled, turning on his side to look at her. “Why?”

“I don’t like mine. I want a new one.”

“Well,” he scratched at the side of his nose. “What do you want your name to be?”

She paused, tracing the leather in her hands. When she’d discovered the collar that Jeongguk had salvaged on his kitchen table, she’d been admittedly surprised. Since then she’d been holding and thinking about it, reflecting on her past experiences with it.

Her thumb brushed across the tag, a small brass plate bolted into the front of the collar. On it, it had her name, breed, label as a cagedog, and seller.

“Stripes”

CAGEDOG

Tiger - 牧羊犬

Stripes. She hadn’t realized how much she hated being called that until she was looking at the letters, tracing their place on the shackle that’d kept her a slave for the past three years. Her brushing paused. Stripes was a shackle too.

He grunted questioningly, and she sighed, chucking the collar away somewhere near the balcony. “I’m not sure. Just… not Stripes. Only bad people have called me that.”

He nodded, grabbing his phone from the bed stand.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“Looking up one of those baby-naming sites. Let’s start by nationality and go from there, yeah?”

She smiled faintly, scooting over a bit. They weren’t exactly comfortable enough with each other to touch in any sense.

“Alright,” he mumbled. “Any, uh, letter you want?”

She shook her head.

“Let’s just browse, I guess.” So, they did, moving through the alphabet and reading the odd one off here and there. It was probably the most comfortable they’d been with each other since meeting (he hadn’t completely forgotten the restaurant but figured that her saving his life was proper moral retribution) though by no means was it chummy. Just… not anxious.

It’s a start, they thought. Seemed the last week was full of new beginnings.

His scrolling thumb paused, and he tapped at a name thoughtfully. “... What about Y/N?”

Y/N.

Her tail thumped against the duvet and she smiled a bit. Y/N. That name felt like home. “You like that?” he asked. She nodded, then yawned and turned over onto her stomach. He plugged the phone back in and set it aside.

“Alright. Goodnight Y/N.”

She didn't answer verbally, but gingerly let her tail brush his belly like a thankful pat on the shoulder. She's a lot sweeter than she looks, he thought, and fell asleep.

Despite all the exhaustion taking care of another human being cost him, Jeongguk was happy to see changes in Y/N’s attitude and appearance. They were still a little skittish around each other - hell, the way they’d met was so fucking strange in retrospect - but there were moments where things were almost domestic. Little things. Like the way he woke up more often than not with a tail brushing his waist or a finger twisted in the strings of his hoodies. The manner in which whenever he made or brought home food she gravitated towards it with the end of her nose twitching and gleaming eyes. Like how after baths, she’d sidle up to him and stare until he got the message and blow-dried her hair for her, which was both strange and weirdly cute. Her voice had also polished up, and she could speak normally without the no-speak husk to it. These were good days, of course; on others she’d stay on the other side of the room, or escape to the roof, or hide in the bath for a while, speaking very little. More and more good days happened the longer she stayed.

It was as if once she deemed him not-a-threat, all the hostility faded away. He was able to see it now - the bloody, ruthless, tiger-girl act - for what it had been: a survival tactic. She filled him in here and there on how her world had been, and it sounded like it had been honestly horrible.

“Past three years ago, I don’t remember anything.”

“Wait - none of your childhood? All gone?”

“All gone. My life just kind of started up then, and I was living… living a lucid dream. In and out, here and there. This lab, that owner. They groomed me and turned me into something pretty, then sold me to nasty people as a pet.”

“A pet?”

“Mhm. They kept trying to train me - yeah, I see you know what I mean - but I was so angry, it was all I knew. I hurt one of them really bad and got sold off again, a year in, to a cagedogger society. There I was passed around by wealthy cagedoggers until the trade in the ramen shop, when I escaped. I’m the first I’ve ever known to do it. Those men were the poorest and sloppiest of the bunch.”

Hearing all this helped him understand her and her world better, bit by bit, and also offered some surprising closure to the trauma he’d been subjected to in the ramen shop. Has he completely forgotten it? No. Does he not get queasy at the sight of blood anymore? Also no. But it’s so much easier to cope with seeing people die when they’re villains.

Beyond all this, he also found that she had different needs and attitudes decidedly inhuman. Example: the scratching. Two weeks in, Jeongguk had woken up one night to hear her claws picking at the carpet as she stretched, and had woken up to see it all stringy and ruined. He’d scolded her lightly - not really knowing if they were close enough for him to really scold her without her taking off - until she’d explained that she needed to. Stretching, grooming, scent-marking. All very inhuman traits that put him in a bit of a daze. Minutes after, they were meandering over to a pet shop to buy scratch posts. Scratch posts.

There was other stuff, too; the nesting, where she’d pile up used clothes and blankets onto their bed until she deemed it perfect. The midnight walks were a thing too. She’d clamber out the balcony and into the alley to disappear for an hour or two, rejoining him later after a new change of clothes.

Then, at three weeks: play-hunting. It’d scared the shit out of him the first time she’d popped up behind him, tackled him to the ground, and nipped at his ear with a little growl, but he was at a point now where he’d developed a sharp ear for his 6 o’clock. Now when he felt the hairs on the back of his neck prickle he’d whip around and catch her as she pounced. All she needed was a good wrestle here and there to not go stir-crazy, which he was fine with. The general sense of cultural modesty and personal space-bubble he’d grown up with was quickly broken down the more they lived together; bed, couch, kitchen, bathroom. Nudity didn’t bother him so much anymore, which was a surprising development, especially since she was a woman.

There were downsides to living together, though. He’s fucking exhausted. All the time. A few days ago he’d quit his night job at the convenience store and replaced all those shifts at Gloss, helping Yoongi with the shop. He had the suspicion that his hyung was paying him more than the other staff at his level, but he was too tired to complain for the sake of his pride and work ethic. He’d take what he could get. Plus, it was easy work. Keep the place clean, set up some gear, hand him some tools as he worked. There was the whole illegal aspect of it, but honestly - tattoo shops weren’t a major concern for the police force and so Gloss was left alone.

Right now, that’s where he was: sitting on a stool next to Yoongi as he prepared to tattoo matching symbols on a giggly couple, the two girls high on the thrill of doing something outside their parents’ say. Yoongi didn’t seem either irritated or amused; he was impassive, quiet, and growly. Whatever he was feeling, it was completely up to those around him to interpret. It made Jungkook sleepy.

“Antiseptic.” Yoongi set his hand out, and Jeongguk handed a cotton pad of it over. Having watched Yoongi’s process a couple times in the last week and a half, he no longer got nauseous over it. It was actually really interesting. Yoongi would speak up every so often to explain what he was doing, the instinct to pass on what he knew to his younger friend impossible to overcome at times.

Yoongi tossed the pad away into the trash can, quietly double-checking with the girl on the table that the design stencil was what she wanted. Jeongguk prepared to pass him the trimmers as the girl replied with a near breathless Yeah, it’s perfect. Cue a shy little kiss between her and her girlfriend, which made Jeongguk smile a little.

Yoongi trimmed away the body hair where the tattoo would go quickly and efficiently, having practiced this so many times. (Jeongguk had learned that the first tattoo Yoongi ever did was when he was fourteen. Fourteen.)

“Review,” Yoongi drawled in a voice only for Jeongguk to hear, and he ducked down to whisper an answer back.

“Antiseptic to disinfect so she doesn’t get an infection and shave to clear space. And so it heals right.”

“Good.”

Jeongguk preened, sitting back straight.

Next, the stencil. The girls both seemed to hold their breath as Yoongi applied it, and giggled as it was revealed. That made Yoongi smile, faintly; he liked seeing that there were little pieces of the world still naive and innocent as they should be. He hoped these girls lasted despite the knowledge that they’d probably have the typical couple’s dopamine drop in a few months and book it in opposite directions.

The rest of the process was a bit harder to learn and Jeongguk hadn’t quite gotten it nailed down yet, but basically Yoongi would rub in an ointment to help with the process and then begin tattooing, starting with the stencil outline and moving on to color when that was finished. Then there were little finesses to the technique that couldn’t be outlined in a manual, only watched.

So Jeongguk watched.

Here and there he’d pass Yoongi a tool or take a sip of coffee. Twenty minutes passed of this, with the girls cuddling, Yoongi buzzing away, and Jeongguk watching the whole thing.

This is so much better than the convenience store. A headache twinged to life behind his eyebrows and he rubbed at it. Not as good as a full night’s sleep though.

The walk home that night felt exactly like the one when he fell in the river - so exhausted he felt like he was dragging his feet through molasses and eyes dripping shut in the same manner. In fact, all the nights in the past two weeks had felt this way. With his new work schedule he was - arguably - less bored but confoundedly more tired. It was easy to blame Y/N for not working, in his head, but he knew it was wrong to. How could he? There’s no way she could find a job anywhere without being turned away as a freak body modder or cosplayer or whatever the fuck else.

Why is it nobody’s heard about people like her? The cagedoggers? The labs? It was puzzling, disturbing thought. It made Jeongguk realize just how little the public knew about what happened in organized crime, and it made him feel like they’d all been fooled into thinking they knew anything at all. We know so little. He felt smaller now. The darkness in the streets chilled him just a bit more than usual.

He made sure to walk with a hand on the bridge railing.

The jingle of his keys was the only noise in the apartment building’s hall at this time of night, some time past three. He was woozy, drowsy, and some other adjective for fucking exhausted to the point of mania…

… And wide-eyed fucking awake the moment he stepped inside.

The scene: a wide-open balcony window, a bloodied porch. Red footsteps leading to the bathroom. A crumpled backpack, and next to it, a similarly crumpled pile of clothes. Steam rolling from the bathroom. The sound of scrubbing.

“Y/N?” he asked timidly, scolding himself when his voice shook.

The scrubbing stopped. A sniff.

Jeongguk crept in timidly, his hands shaking. The front door seemed so loud as it clicked shut. He called her name again, hating the way his voice shook. The smell of blood was making his stomach turn.

He peered into the bathroom and met her eyes, already looking up at him.

She was sitting in the bathtub, stripped to the skin and blushing all over from the heat of the water. A flimsy washcloth was gripped in her hand, frayed in places from still-extended claws. Her ears flicked back and her eyes widened, smelling his growing dread. It rolled off him in waves. She could smell his adrenaline.

“I…” The need to explain herself was overbearing, but what could she say?

“Who was it?” he asked quietly. Who died this time?

She dipped the cloth back into the rosy hot water, dragging it over her shoulders. She wouldn’t look at him.

“Y/N.” He growled. He could feel something rising in him - anger maybe? A sense of betrayal? He’d thought and trusted that the vicious tiger girl act was over, but…

“A man and his wife, then another guy,” she murmured, and his stomach dropped. She moved on to explain quickly before he kicked her out.

“I’ve been looking in the past few weeks for all the places I remember being owned in, and found one of the auction centers. I was just going to watch, I promise - I…” She looked up at him then, swallowed. “I just wanted to know. Know more. Figure out why people would own other people and the plan was to go in, check it out, and then leave without ever being seen and I would’ve but then this boy stepped up onto the block - I’m talking a boy, Jeongguk. He couldn’t have been older than eight. This foreign couple bid for him and I was so scared for him and angry. He was… the youngest I’ve ever seen.”

She was silent for a moment, and his posture softened. He didn’t know that kids were ever a part of this, not that that made the situation any more or less horrendous than it was, but… kids.

Her eyebrows knitted suddenly and she plunged the washcloth back into the water, dragging another wave of suds across her neck and shoulders.

“I haven’t told you before but we’re not born like this. I’m sure we start out human. I don’t know the tools they use or the people that do it but they turn us into these things - these hybrids - and then they wipe our memory. Blank slate. I woke up one day with no memory of whatever life I’d lived before and…” she pauses, eyes drooping and ears flattening. “I had claws. Ears. A tail - and my eyes felt wrong to look at in a mirror even though I don’t remember what they used to look like. I didn’t even speak Korean. I can’t begin to describe what that’s like Jeongguk. So for a kid…” She swallowed hard, eyes blurring. Jeongguk found himself softening, chest aching.

“I was just so full of… I don’t know. It felt like regret, but for the kid. Regret that he’s gonna be like me and the rest of the pets. So I killed his buyers. Ripped their rib cages open and hung a guard with the wife’s intestines, from the rafters.”

There was silence for a few minutes. Rolling steam. Rusty blood. The fridge hummed in the room behind him.

“And the kid?” Jeongguk found himself asking before he could filter.

Y/N dunked her head under the water and scrubbed at the blood matting her hair down, ears be damned, then emerged with a slosh of water that seemed so incredibly loud.

“Don’t know. They took him into a back room and I ran away.”

A/N: i’m trying to keep an update schedule, once a week but :/ keep the comments comin!! i live off validation !! !

Taglist:@feed-my-geek-soul @starryannaaa @not-novoa @astronomyturtle @anoushe01 @seokchella @dinorahrodriguez

Taglist glitches: @infiressnct

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doggernaut · 5 years

Note

For end of year fanfic asks: 23. fics you wanted to write but didn’t.

Hmm. So, a few months ago, when I was in the midst of writing my OMGCP Big Bang fic, I got this idea for a fic about Bitty and Jack meeting after both had gone through messy divorces. One of the subplots was of Bitty learning to co-parent with his ex and his ex’s new partner, and the new partner being much better at pretending everything is perfect on social media than Bitty is.

I didn’t really have time to write it, and then my sister unexpectedly asked her husband for a divorce, and even though the circumstances were very different in my fic than what her family was going through, it felt too close to really write about. I’d still like to return to it at some point.

I also started a kind of long and formless thing about Bitty and Jack on vacation after Jack’s retirement. It didn’t really go anywhere so I put it aside. There are actually two versions of it: One is more of a ficlet, the other was heading more toward a long, multi-chaptered thing about getting older and dealing with aging parents and career changes and what love looks like in middle age. Here’s an excerpt from the latter version:

It starts, like so many mundane things, with a phone call.

Who even calls people these days, when it’s so much easier to text? Suzanne Bittle, that’s who. Every Sunday after church so she can feed Bitty the latest gossip. He hasn’t talked to some of those people in years but he knows that Karen Novak’s youngest who nearly flunked out of high school is headed to medical school in the fall, and that Big Ross and Jessica Howard just bought a vacation home in the Floria Keys. He knows the new pastor is “still getting used to the way we do things around here” and that his wife, who grew up in Boston and went to school in Chicago, doesn’t quite fit in with the rest of the women. All this, doled out in small doses every Sunday afternoon.

It’s Tuesday morning.

“Your daddy fell off the roof,” Mama says without preamble.

“Oh lord! Mama, what —“

“He was cleaning the gutters and slipped,” Mama continues, cutting off any questions Bitty might have at the pass. “I told him to hire someone but he said he’s done it all these years, he’s not going to pay somebody to do something he’s been doing since he was fifteen.”

“Is he—” Bitty tries again. Mama sounds calm, so that’s probably a good sign.

“He’s got a broken leg and a few cracked ribs. A pretty good concussion, too. He’ll be in the hospital for a few days, and off of work for the rest of the semester, I suspect.”

“I’ll fly out today,” Bitty says before she can ask. He mentally recalibrates the next few hours, days, weeks. This evening he’s supposed to fly out to New York, the first stop on a small tour to promote the relaunch of his blog (which, in turn, is to promote his upcoming book, still in the editing stages). Nothing major, just local morning and afternoon show appearances up and down the East Coast. Nothing that can’t be rescheduled.

“Can you?” Mama breathes a sigh of relief. “You know I hate to ask.”

“Yes, of course. Let me make some calls and I’ll get back to you.”

Bitty calls his agent, who agrees that the regional appearance can wait and says she’ll take care of rescheduling. He calls his assistant, who quickly books a plane ticket and blocks out his calendar for the next few weeks.

Jack is in the middle of an early-season series of games on the West Coast. Bitty waits until he lands in Atlanta to call him with the news. There’s no point in interrupting him in the middle of a pre-game workout when there’s nothing he can do about it right now, anyway.

#end of year fanfic asks #wrathofthestag #my fic

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the--blackdahlia · 5 years

Text

Too Young to Fall in Love Chapter 5 (Dirt!Nikki x Reader)

Title: Too Young to Fall in Love Chapter 5

Summary: Nikki Sixx was a hard partying musician on the strip. He never expected to fall in love with anyone, until a girl knocked on his dressing room door looking for a ride home and took his breath away. Just like everything else Nikki did; the drugs, the money, the music; Nikki went hard with love. (Y/n) Bass never expected the bassist of Motley Crue to be the one to shake her calm and calculated life up. She had a plan. Graduate school, become an epic producer, and watch from behind the scenes as her brother’s band rose to fame. Nikki and (Y/n) were perfect for each other, too bad her brother, Tommy, didn’t think so.

Series warnings: Smut (18+ Please), drug use, language, referenced miscarriage, drug overdose, mentioned attempted suicide, out of character moments for everyone in the band, the timeline might be a little screwy but it’s fanfiction! I know nothing of music production and my medical knowledge is really screwy, so it won’t be accurate.

Nikki had missed (Y/n) on Tuesday, but Wednesday she only had to work with no classes, so she worked in the morning and went home. She wasn’t sure if she should call him or not. She didn’t want to seem desperate. She was about to go shower when her phone rang.

“(Y/n)?” NIkki asked with a smile when he answered with a gasping ‘hello?’ “Did I catch you at a bad time?”

“No. I was just gonna grab a shower but heard the phone and rang back.” (Y/n) laughed. “How was your gig?”

“It was good! The crowd was awesome and we got to play our new songs so I think it’s going well.” Nikki smiled. “How was your day?”

“I argued with someone at work because I was right and he was wrong, but he didn’t want to admit it because I’m a woman.” (Y/n) shrugged. “He should be lucky I’m not one of my siblings because I probably would’ve punched him in his nose.” She sat down on her bed. “It was pretty boring besides that, but I was listening to some really good music on my Walkman.”

“Yeah? Anyone I know?” Nikki sat on his bed before he leaned back.

“Just this band called Motley Crue. Not sure if you’ve ever heard of them but their bassist is pretty hot. I really dig his green eyes.” (Y/n) laughed.

“Should I be jealous,” Nikki teased with a laugh. “I miss seeing you and I can’t wait until Thursday.” NIkki admitted.

“I miss you too.” (Y/n) admitted. “If I hadn’t had a test Tuesday morning, I would’ve been there Monday night. I can’t wait until Thursday either.”

“Makes it worth the wait then,” Nikki smiled. “So I should be at your place tomorrow at 6, I was thinking maybe Risky Business or The Outsiders?

“Have you seen either of them?” (Y/n) asked.

“I haven’t but we could always catch, E.T.? ” NIkki wasn’t sure what she liked. But he was willing to try any movie just to be with her.

“E.T. The Extraterrestrial would be nice. I just didn’t want to make you see a movie you’ve already seen.” (Y/n) laughed.

“Hey man, It looks like a cool movie,” Nikki shrugged.

“I’ll see anything with you. Even scary movies.” (Y/n) blushed. “I mean...uh horror movies are cool…”

NIkki let out a laugh, “Don’t sweat sweet girl. I’ll protect you.”

“I feel much better already.” (Y/n) smiled. “Do you have anything to do? I don’t want to keep you from it.”

“I’m good. Besides I rather hear your voice over Vince and Tommy squaking.” Nikki sighed.

“They sound like joys.” (Y/n) laughed, knowing just how much of a joy Tommy was.

Before Nikki could keep talking , Tommy burst through his bedroom door. “Come on bitch we’re going to a…” Tommy stopped mid-sentence and sighed. “Hi girlfriend! Is it ok if I steal your boyfriend from you!” Tommy yelled as he tried to chace Nikki to get the phone.

“Back off man!” Nikki said. Tommy went to grab the phone and they accidentally hung up on (Y/n). She looked at the phone as she heard the dial tone and laughed. She put the phone down and went to go get a shower.

“Hello? Hello?” Tommy said. “There’s no one there.”

“You asshole! You hung up on her!” Nikki began punching him in the arm repeatedly.

“Ow! Stop!” Tommy said. “What are you so mad about?”

“I haven’t talked to her for two days you jackass!” Nikki kept punching him. “We could have been having phone sex but no you had…” he punches Tommy again. “To fucking barge into my room.”

“Dude, just go have real sex with someone.” Tommy said, backing away and rubbing his arm. “Not my fault she only wants to date you through the phone!”

“You know we have a date on Thursday you idiot,” Nikki grumbled as he walked out of the room and into the kitchen to grab something to eat only to find the refrigerator empty. “You have got to be shitting me!”

“So, where is that date at again?” Vince asked, leaning on the counter.

“NO!” Nikki yelled. “Okay, number one, I need food. Number two, I am not telling you guys jack shit about my date until after it’s over!”

“You’re telling us you don’t want us to chaperone?” Mick asked from his seat in the living room.

“I don’t want you fuckers anywhere near my date tomorrow,” Nikki growled. He grabbed his jacket and his keys and climbed out of the apartment window to get to his car. The cops kept getting called at their parties and they nailed the door shut.

He made his way to the grocery store he liked to go to. Heading inside, he got a cart and made his way around. That’s when he heard a familiar voice.

“Yeah, so Athena’s joining us and I might have hinted about cooking when she called this morning.” (Y/n) told Vanessa as they walked around. “I should’ve promised pizza or something instead.”

“That would have been easier,” Vanessa laughed as she helped (Y/n) with her groceries.

“I guess I could get a frozen pizza and tell her I made it from scratch.” (Y/n) laughed. She sighed a little. “I can’t wait until tomorrow. I miss Nikki.”

Nikki turned the corner leaving his cart for just a second. He crept up and gave a mischievous grin before tickling (Y/n)’s sides making her jump. (Y/n) went to turn to her attacker and paused to give a joyful squeal.

“Hey sweet girl,” Nikki said as he hugged her tight and picked her up in his arms, “small world.”

"Nikki! What are you doing here?" (Y/n) asked with a laugh. She didn't want to leave his arms.

“Tommy ate everything in the fridge so I’m feeling a bit hungry. I have to scavenge for food.” Nikki put her down and smiled. “You having a girls night?”

"Yeah. My sister is coming over to hang out with me and Nessa." (Y/n) looked around. "Where's the rest of the guys?"

“I left them back at the apartment,” Nikki pulled her in for a chaste kiss. “I’m just trying to figure out what food I need to grab so that Tommy doesn’t steal it.”

“Healthy food.” (Y/n) said. “I mean, he looks like the type that wouldn’t touch a carrot unless it was coated in chocolate.” Vanessa shook her head to keep from laughing. “Or we could go get something to eat. My treat.” (Y/n) was nervous and Vanessa could tell by the look in Nikki’s eyes that he thought she was the cutest thing ever.

“Aren’t you cooking for your sister though?” Nikki held her close, he didn’t want to let go. “I don’t want to distract you from feeding your sister.”

“Trust me, her brother and sister would eat literal garbage if it was served to them on a plate.” Vanessa laughed. “Go on you two. You haven’t seen each other since what? Sunday?” (Y/n) blushed.

“Nessa…” (Y/n) was worried Nikki would think she was coming on too strong.

“Have I mentioned that I like this friend,” NIkki looked at (Y/n), then turned to Vanessa holding out his hand. “Nikki Sixx.”

“Vanessa…. But you can call me Nessa. So, any chance I can get hooked up with Vince?” she gave him a smile.

“I’m not sure you want to get hooked up with Vince.” Nikki chuckled.

“You hook me up with little Vinnie and I can keep him distracted,” Vanessa gave him a sly smile and a wink. “You could use the help. Now go eat and I’ll meet you back at the dorm (Y/n).” She left, leaving Nikki and (Y/n) at the grocery.

“I’m just gonna order my sister pizza,” (Y/n) laughed. “I’m not even sure what to make her.”

“That does sound like a plan,” Nikki smiled. “Where would you like to eat?”

“We could go back to the diner. Their food is really good.” (Y/n) smiled at him.

“It is very good. Should we put this back since you’ll be ordering pizza?” NIkki caressed her cheek before pulling her in for another kiss. Something about the way her lips felt against his was intoxicating.

“Yeah. I don’t have much.” She just had some bread and garlic powder in her cart. “Get in and I’ll push you.” She laughed.

NIkki gave her a mischievous grin before climbing inside the basket. “Let’s go!” She smiled and pushed the cart, running towards the bread aisle. That’s when the manager grabbed her arm, stopping her from running.

“What do you think you’re doing?” He asked. (Y/n) glanced over at Nikki, who was almost stuck in the basket.

“Relax man we’re just having some fun,” NIkki said as he got out of the basket almost falling on his face. “We’re putting the stuff back. Decided to eat out instead.”

“You can leave the cart and get out,” the manager said. “Or I can call the cops.”

“Relax, we’re leaving, we’re leaving.” Nikki held his hands up before taking (Y/n)’s hand and leading her outside. As they climbed into his car they looked at each other and burst out laughing. “That was fun.”

“I’ve never gotten in trouble before,” (Y/n) shook her head and turned to face him. “I think you’re a bad influence Mr. Sixx,” she muttered as she brought her face close to his.

“What can I say,” Nikki shrugged with a devilish grin. “I make good girls go bad.” He reached for her cheek caressing it slowly before they leaned in and kissing her gently.

“What do you say we go get you some food?” (Y/n) asked when they broke apart. Nikki took her hand as he drove them to the diner. “So, did you hang up on me?” She asked shyly, glancing over at him.

“That was Tommy’s fault,” Nikki sighed. “I’m sorry about that (Y/n), He’s an idiot who just can’t stop being a goofball.” With a smile, he parked the car at the diner and turned to her. “All I want to do is kiss you.” with that he leaned in and kissed her deeply.

“Unfortunately, that won’t make you not hungry.” She laughed. “Come on rockstar. It’s my treat. Anything you want.”

NIkki laughed as he got out and ran around to help her out of the car.

Forever Tags: @anathewierdo @dekahg @marvel-af-imagines @feelmyroarrrr @nanie5 @imboredsueme @gemini0410 @aiaranradnay @babypink224221 @mogarukes @xxwarhawk @sandlee44 @shatteredabby @caswinchester2000 @supernaturalwincestsblog @lauravic @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk @teller258316

Motley Crue Tags: @primal-screamer @waywardprincess666 @twistnet @saint-of-los-angeles @vader-kai @motleyfuckingcruee @sharon6713 @kawennote09 @2dead2function

Too Young to Fall in Love Tags: @kingbouji3 @leximus98

#too young to fall in love #motley crue #nikki sixx #nikki sixx x reader #nikki x reader #dirt!nikki sixx #dirt!nikki sixx x reader #dirt!nikki x reader #the dirt #reader #reader insert #fanfiction

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blueboxesandtrafficcones · 5 years

Text

The Nuptial Necessity - Chapter 7

A 12xRose Human AU

Despite an unglamorous job description, Rose loves the work she does with The Thistle Foundation, a charity founded by her best friend’s great-uncle. It doesn’t hurt that her boss, her friend’s father, is easy on the eyes. With a great job, wonderful friends and a loving family, life couldn’t be better – except for having someone to share it with.

All of that is threatened, though, when the great-uncle dies – and sets a strange condition for his nephew to inherit, jeopardizing the Foundation and Rose’s future, sparking a chain of events that might just get her everything she dreamed of and more.

Chapters will be posted on Saturdays and Tuesdays. Many thanks to my beta, @stupidsatsuma

Rated: Explicit, for eventual smut

@doctorroseprompts

AO3 | Masterlist

—

Sunday

Turning her car off, Rose leaned back against the headrest and closed her eyes, breathing deeply in preparation. Things in the office had only grown more awkward and tense as they danced around each other, the uncomfortableness spilling over into her relationship with Clara, which only made her feel worse.

It’s a yes or no question, she reminded herself once again. Just make a decision and stick to it – put all of us out of our misery, so the weirdness can stop and we can start making our plans.

The sound of another engine made her eyes open, and she climbed out as Malcolm pulled in next to her. Locking her car she waited while he, Clara, and Danny emerged, mustering a wan smile for them all. “Hey.”

“Hi.” Malcolm nodded, grabbing a bottle from the backseat as Clara gave her a hug.

“Hey,” her bestie whispered in her ear, “how are you?”

Rose shrugged, holding her a little tighter. “In knots,” she said honestly. “I still don’t know what to do.”

“There you are,” her father called, and they all turned to find him at the front door. “C’mon in.”

They followed him through the house and out onto the patio, where everything was set up. Tony was playing in the shallow end of the pool under their mother’s watchful eye from a nearby lounge chair, while the grill was ready to go off to the side. Two long tables groaned under the food already out, with a few designated spaces for what Rose and the Tuckers had brought. Rose’s contribution was a bottle of white wine and a baked mac’n’cheese recipe Tony loved, while Malcolm had brought the whisky, Clara some cut up fruit, and Danny the brownies.

“Looks great, Mum,” Rose greeted Jackie, hugging her.

“Thanks, sweetheart. Oi, Tony, out of the water!” Releasing her eldest she turned to Clara, greeting her in much the same way. “So nice to have all of you here, come, put your things down.”

“Thanks for having us, Mr. and Mrs. Tyler,” Danny said politely, making Pete chuckle and wave his hand.

“Very pleased to have you join us. Really. And it’s Pete and Jackie – I insist.”

As everyone greeted each other and began chatting, Rose smiled and watched.

This is my family.

Standing next to the grill on a warm, sunny day, holding a beer, was pretty much exactly Malcolm’s ideal way to spend an afternoon. His daughter sat nearby, the occasional tinkle of her laughter music to his ears as she talked to Danny and Jackie, but in truth, nearly all of his attention was on Rose.

She’d changed into a swimsuit, a one-piece that was fairly modest for what it was, and was in the shallow end splashing with her brother. It didn’t take his imagination much effort to picture her in the pool at the townhouse – in fact, it was too easy to see her with a toddler of their own, teaching their son (or daughter, he wasn’t picky) how to swim.

In fact, he didn’t just want it; he craved it, ached for it, sometimes dreamed of it so vividly he would wake reaching for her, expecting her next to him, confused and heartbroken when she wasn’t there until reality seeped back in.

Sometimes he didn’t want to wake up.

“Oi.”

A nudge startled Malcolm from his daydream, and he turned Pete, blinking in surprise. “What?”

“D’you mind not ogling my daughter right in front of me while we’re trying to have a conversation? When you’re not glaring at Danny for doing just the same, that is.”

His jaw dropped, trying to come with an answer. “I wasn’t- that’s not- I-”

After a moment Pete laughed, waving a hand. “Relax, I’m just messing with you,” his friend said easily. “How are plans for the Gala going?”

Malcolm just blinked, trying to reboot his brain and cursing his overactive imagination. It had been one thing, when his dreams were just that, but the intrusion into his waking life was bound to get him in trouble sooner or later.

And, strictly speaking, he hadn’t been ogling Rose. Yes, okay, he might have been staring in her general direction, but he wasn’t picturing her naked – it’s early yet; how long is she going to stay in the pool? – though somehow he didn’t think Pete would appreciate what he was thinking any more than what he assumed.

Did he ask a question?

“The Gala’s going fine,” he finally answered, taking a long pull off his bottle and turning his back firmly on his assistant to focus on her father. Her FATHER. If Danny were looking at Clara the way I am Rose, I’d thump him – and he’s neither too old for her or a friend of mine, both of which I am. Pull your shit together, Tucker. “Rose is, of course, an incredible help. No surprise she’s what makes the event what it is.”

“I would expect nothing less.” Pete was still smirking, though, a look Malcolm didn’t appreciate. “My daughter’s one of a kind.”

“That she is.” Casting about for a change of subject, he asked, “Tony’s starting school this year, isn’t he?”

The other man didn’t seem fooled in the least, but went along with it. “Reception. Hard to believe. Honestly, I’m not looking forward to his school years. Well, the other parents, really. When Rosie was little we got looked down on for being so young, and I’m sure now we’ll be judged for being too old. I don’t particularly care myself, but Jacks has been going on about it all summer and nothing’s even happened yet.”

“I know that feeling,” Malcolm agreed, smiling at the memory of Clara’s first day of school. “It was the same for us – always judged and excluded for our ages. Not that Missy or I particularly cared, but they tended to treat Clara as a pariah as well, and you can imagine how well I took that. How do you judge a child for their parents’ decisions? Unbelievable. Thankfully things were better once we moved to London, but still. Judgemental pricks.”

They toasted, draining their bottles as one, and Malcolm didn’t hesitate to take the empties and exchange them for new, easily removing the lids.

“To tell the truth, I’m just glad to have the second chance,” Pete murmured, eyes flickering over to his wife to ensure she couldn’t hear. “We’d long accepted she would be it when he came along, but I’m so glad he did. I think I did well with Rose, but this time around I can really appreciate it, you know? I was so focused when she was young on Vitex, on getting us out of the Estate that I missed things.”

Malcolm hummed but didn’t respond; they’d covered all of this before, and he knew his friend sometimes just felt the need to ‘speak it to the universe’, to quote Jackie.

“D’you think you’ll ever have another?”

Startled, Malcolm choked on his beer, going into a coughing fit that lasted long enough for Rose and Clara to shout in unison, “Stop it!”

“Your concern is overwhelming,” he wheezed, making his daughter roll her eyes and earning himself a rude gesture from Rose. “I’m fine, thanks.”

When he straightened up Pete was waiting patiently with a napkin, arching an eyebrow when he took it. “Not sure that qualifies as an answer.”

Wiping his mouth, Malcolm bought himself a few seconds to think before sighing. “In theory, yes, I’d like another. But practically… it just doesn’t seem to be in the cards. And I don’t think Clara would take it with the grace that Rose did.” He smiled wryly, remembering her reaction to the announcement – it had been at a Sunday dinner so similar to this one, and she had been so overwhelmed with joy that she was still bouncing off the walls the next day in the office, right up until they’d been mid-conversation and her face had contorted in horror.

“What’s wrong?”

Rose stared at him, gagging slightly. “I just realized that if this baby was unplanned, my parents are having more sex than I am, and I’m the one in my mid-twenties.”

The memory made him chuckle, as had how she would periodically break out in full-body shivers every so often during the months of her mother’s pregnancy. “She loved him from the first moment.”

“She did take it well,” Pete agreed, “and she’s such a help. There’s nothing like a reliable, free childminder you can trust without hesitation. She’ll be a spectacular Mum, when the time comes.”

Malcolm wholeheartedly agreed, but decided a neutral mhmm was the safer response, lest he let slip the secrets buried deep in his heart. Things are weird enough right now, no need to make it worse. Still, he couldn’t help but turn enough that he could watch Rose out of the corner of his eye.

A spectacular Mum indeed.

“So-”

Rose’s eyes fluttered closed as she fought back a groan at her mother’s would-be casual tone, not fooled for a moment. Despite her best efforts she’d gotten caught alone with her in the kitchen, and it had been two agonizing minutes of idle chit chat as Jackie built up to her favorite topic of conversation, as if Rose didn’t know where it was headed.

The same place it always is, lately.

“Are you seeing anyone?”

There it is.

“Yes, only he’s an alien, see, and off travelling the universe and saving alien planets, which is why I never bring ‘im around.” She rolled her eyes, turning around to face her mother, unsurprised at the death glare she was receiving. “You know I’m not. It’s just been too busy lately.”

“But, Rose, you’ve been saying that for years. It was one thing when you were young, but you’re thirty now. You’re running out of time.”

“Oh my God.” Wanting to physically run from the conversation she settled for the mature thing of picking up a platter of food and heading for the door. “I am not having this conversation with you. Is it really so hard to accept that I’m happy with my life?”

Not one to let anyone else have the last word Jackie followed hot on her heels with the other tray. “How could you be! No husband, no children… and while it might seem like it at the moment, a vibrator and your brother are not satisfying substitutes!”

Rose stopped dead, staring in dismay at the four horrified faces looking back at her. Though she was still a few steps from the table and her mother behind her, they’d all clearly heard her, the whole fucking country probably had, and her eyes darted between them all gauging their reactions. Her father was disgusted, poor Danny uncomfortable and now staring at his hands, Clara’s eyes were very wide and her jaw open, and Malcolm… Malcolm looked ready to bust a gut laughing, leaning forward on the table, and despite both hands clasped over his mouth, was unable to hide the smile in his twinkling eyes, and when their eyes met, he winked.

Her eyes darted to the pool and for one wild moment she seriously considered throwing herself into it before slowly spinning around. “Shut. Up.”

Malcolm stuffed a forkful of lettuce in his mouth, glancing idly around the silent table as almost everyone else ate. While Jackie sat very stiffly across from him glaring at her daughter and not moving, Rose was on his left and bouncing her leg like her life depended on it as she looked everywhere but at Jackie.

For the third time in as many minutes her knee bumped the table, jostling it, and on instinct Malcolm settled his hand on it to calm her. It worked almost too well as she froze, and their eyes met for only a moment before his gaze skittered away. He thought about moving it, but rather than being tense at his touch she let out a deep breath and almost seemed to relax, and just because he’d always wanted to and couldn’t help himself, he slowly rubbed his thumb against the side of her knee. It was as soft as he’d always imagined, smooth, and she didn’t seem to mind given she hadn’t swatted his hand away. Did she just sigh?

“You know, there’s a nice young man working for your father,” Jackie started abruptly, Rose’s aggravation returning as quickly it had dissipated, based on how her leg tensed beneath his hand.

For fuck’s sake, doesn’t she ever stop?

The answer was no, apparently, as she continued to chatter, oblivious to their audience or her daughter’s humiliation. “He’s looking for a girl to marry. Maybe I should invite him to lunch next week. Or! Mickey says he’s got a friend you’d get on well with, you should ask him about that. I know you think you’ve got all the time in the world, but really, it would take a least a year to plan the wedding, and thirty-two sounds young but you might be surprised how long it takes you to get pregnant, and your body won’t bounce back as quickly as you’d like- we can’t all be like those celebrities, back to looking like sticks six weeks after giving birth. You know, this might be an idea- start planning your wedding now, you should book two years out anyway- then just find your groom along the way! You can’t afford to lose any time, and really, by now all the decent men are probably married, if not in committed relationships. The longer you wait the more likely you are to have an ex-wife to deal with, maybe even step-children, and God help you then. And if there are, then the ex will probably be a total nightmare, ‘cause if she wasn’t they’d still be married, wouldn’t they? And I don’t mean an annoyance like you complain about Missy, I mean a real pain in the ass. Though you may get lucky and find a nice widower- come to think of it, maybe you should go to Tony’s school events once he starts, you might meet some single fathers-”

Doesn’t this woman ever breathe? Malcolm rolled his eyes, glancing over at Rose to see metaphorical steam coming out of her ears; the one time he’d screwed up badly enough to earn that stink eye himself it had been enough to scare him straight. At least for a little while.

Even as he watched her he saw the final straw break her back, uncertain of what it was having tuned Jackie out, but nothing could have prepared him for how Rose interrupted her mother.

“Malcolm and I are getting married.”

#bbatcfic #ficandchips #Doctor Who #doctorroseprompts #Human!12xRose #Human!Twelfth Doctor #Rose Tyler #Human AU #AU #The Nuptial Necessity

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