#and just her finally processing that relationship

[leaawrites]

Coincidence (MV1)

Max Verstappen x fem!reader

Summary: a rare moment of peace is disturbed by none other than his ex-girlfriend.

Warnings: angst, indicating cheating (emotionally), this is all fiction, none of this is real and I don't mean to attack anyone by this.

Wordcount: 0.5k

Masterlist, Short n'Sweet Series

A text was all it took for everything to change again.

With her head on his chest, finally breathing for a second, one text had the ability to make her run again. Max was focused on the movie playing on the screen, that he didn’t even notice the vibration of his phone on the coach, his hand mindlessly playing with the hem of her shirt. He didn’t notice the second message. He didn’t even notice her budging him to gain his attention.

It wasn’t up until she had enough and moved a bit to take the phone herself that he looked away from the TV. Watching her take his phone and unlocking it. It was never a problem for them in the time they were dating, using the other’s phone for texting their parents or friends or googling whatever. It was always just about which one was nearer.

“Who is it?” Max asked, moving his fingers up and down her chest.

Looking at the contact name and message for a second longer to make sure she read everything correctly, she finally answered, “Kelly. She says P misses you.” At the mention of her name, Max took the phone from her hands. She wasn’t too sure if it was because of Kelly or P. She hoped the latter, but with the way he would still step away from her whenever they met Kelly at a party was making her doubt herself more and more.

What a coincidence that she missed him now when Y/n finally had him for herself in a long time. No racing, no meeting, just them. And her.

Lifting her head up, Max stood up, walking out of the room and dialing her number in the process of leaving his girlfriend.

Max talked for longer than usual on the phone, all while Y/n was left by herself, the TV only being a background noise to not make the thoughts get too loud.

“I’m gonna meet P and Kelly for brunch tomorrow,” Max announced, walking past her, kissing her head and continuing his path into his gaming room.

All of their freedom stolen once again.

She sat there, watching the screen but not the show. She was watching her life flying past and soon enough she was laying next to him in bed, wide awake. Hearing his voice vibrating on his bedside table, her name probably lighting up the screen. Whatever it was, Y/n was sure she wouldn’t be one knowing. Whatever effort she put into the relationship to make it work and keep it safe and hidden from the media, it would all be over once he came back the next day from brunch. He would only be half of the person she used to know and love.

The next morning Y/n without Max by her side. The bed was cold and empty. He must’ve been gone for quite some time already. He hadn’t even asked if she wanted to join them.

Turning on her phone, the first thing she saw shouldn’t be surprising.

Headline: Formula 1 Star Max Verstappen seen out and about with ex girlfriend Kelly Piquet and her daughter Penelope. Is there an old romance brewing once again?

She couldn’t blame them. Barely anyone knew that they were dating, Max wanting to keep it private for her own safety.

What a coincidence.

[glade-constellation]

On the topic of Eclipse, I also would love to talk about how he works best off of a reward based system.

After the stern conversation he had with Puppet, Eclipse did go ask Moonlight in a nicer manner about reviewing his killcode. It wasn’t until after Moonlight continued to push the situation that Eclipse almost turned and left.

Moonlight wasn’t in the wrong for trying to push for more polite manners from Eclipse. Asking for things like “please” is literally asking for baseline kindness and respect. The problem is, even doing that is a huge thing for Eclipse. And instead of getting a reward out of what he just did, Moonlight asked even more out of it.

Eclipse is very reward-driven. If he does something, he must get something out of it. If he does something and feels he has gained nothing, then there is no point in doing said thing in the first place. Saying “please” did earn him the right to look at Moonlight’s coding, but that reward felt smothered by the fact that, to Moonlight, please wasn’t enough.

It circles right back to Eclipse feeling like he is enough.

It’s kind of like when you do something you feel is a big achievement, something you were finally able to do after a long time of not being able to, and everyone just saying “cool” and moving on. Eclipse feels like he is putting in the effort and no one is seeing it. Even though what he is doing seem like normal everyday things other people just do, they’re huge strides for Eclipse.

Eclipse is getting better, but his progress is being slowed by the people around him. Funnily enough, even by the same people trying to help him. Part of helping someone through their trauma is learning their reward system. Figure out what they view as praise for their efforts, so you can reward them when they have made progress. It’s part of the process currently being overlooked by the others like Puppet. They want him to get better without showing him how proud they are of his effort.

“Puppet tells Eclipse she’s proud of him all the time!” Yes, but that’s not what Eclipse views as a reward. Words are very easily twisted, they have never been something Eclipse can rely on. He also can’t trust people who say they’re going to stick by his side. People have said that several times and betrayed him anyways. He won’t trust it at this point. He needs something solid.

(This is part of the reason why I think he got so easily attached to Earth. Earth is very big on rewarding people for seemingly small things. She makes the effort to actually understand how he feels about something instead of just calling him “difficult” or “stubborn”. He tells her about things he’s achieved and she is genuinely happy for him and interested in learning more. It’s where most other people fail. They invite Eclipse to do things, but it’s never what Eclipse wants. Moonlight was probably the only other one who tired to show interest in what Eclipse wanted to do before that whole relationship fell apart.)

[swiftiethatlovesf1]

Love strategy p.5

Hi guyss, here's the new part and part 4 if you've missed it. Btw let me know if any of you are rooting for Carlos x reader.

Thursdays at the paddock aren’t usually the busiest days, typically reserved for media and press duties. But today feels different—charged with a tension you can’t quite shake. It’s not the usual pre-race nerves that settle into your chest; today, it’s knowing that you and Lando are planning to expose your "relationship." The weight of what’s to come sits heavily on your shoulders.

Carlos has already wrapped up his interviews and filmed with Charles, leaving only one thing left on your agenda: filming the collaboration with McLaren. You can feel the anxiousness thrumming through your body, each step toward the McLaren motorhome sending a fresh wave of nervous energy. But when you finally arrive and catch Lando’s eye across the room, some of that tension eases. His presence is a quiet reminder—you’re in this together.

He flashes you a quick grin, and in that moment, it’s like a silent agreement passes between you. You’ve got this. Both of you.

As the filming begins, Lando, Carlos, Charles, and Oscar gather in front of the cameras for the challenge. The atmosphere lightens with the familiar chaos of drivers joking around, ready for the game ahead. Today, they’re playing Two Truths and a Lie, and the crew is already laughing as Charles delivers his statement, trying to fool the others.

The mood is infectious, and you find yourself relaxing a bit, the anxious weight in your chest slowly lifting. You watch as they take turns, each trying to outwit the other with absurd or strangely believable stories. Charles goes first, followed by Carlos, whose grin grows wider as the others try to guess which of his outlandish claims is the lie.

But then it’s Lando’s turn, and suddenly, your nerves come rushing back, the realization of what’s about to happen hitting you like a tidal wave.

Lando, with his usual playful smirk, steps up to deliver his three statements. He starts with something simple—“I hate pineapple on pizza,” followed by a more random, “I once beat Oscar at mini-golf by 10 strokes.”

Everyone chuckles, waiting for the third, and you brace yourself, knowing what’s coming.

“And… I’m dating her.” He nods in your direction.

The room falls silent. Charles and Carlos exchange bewildered glances, and Oscar just stares at Lando like he’s grown a second head.

Carlos is the first to speak, raising an eyebrow. "Wait… what?"

Charles lets out a nervous laugh. "No way. That’s got to be the lie, right?"

But Lando just shrugs casually, that playful smile never leaving his face. "Guess you’ll have to figure that out."

All eyes shift toward you, and you feel the heat of the moment rise, your heart racing in your chest. The shock is palpable in the room, the drivers still trying to figure out if he’s serious or if this is all part of the game. You can’t help but smile, trying to play it cool despite the pounding in your ears.

Carlos is the first to react after the initial shock, narrowing his eyes as he looks between you and Lando. "You dating him? That’s definitely the lie," he says, crossing his arms with a challenging smirk. It’s clear he’s waiting for the punchline, certain that Lando’s last statement couldn’t possibly be true.

You feel your pulse quicken, trying to keep your expression neutral. Lando, on the other hand, is perfectly calm, though there’s a glimmer of amusement in his eyes.

Oscar jumps in, a grin tugging at his lips. "Actually, I can already tell you that the lie is… we’ve never played mini-golf. Ever."

The room goes silent again, but this time, the atmosphere shifts. The realization slowly dawns on everyone—Lando’s last statement wasn’t the lie. The truth of your "relationship" is out, just like that.

Carlos’ arms drop to his sides, his face a mixture of confusion and disbelief. Charles looks between you and Lando, stunned but clearly trying to process it. Oscar just chuckles, shaking his head in disbelief as the video crew wraps up, signaling the end of the shoot.

"Wait—so… you two are actually dating?" Charles blurts out, breaking the silence with a laugh. "That’s mad!"

You manage a smile, trying to keep your cool under the weight of the attention. Lando throws a playful arm around your shoulders, grinning as he faces the group. "Yep. Surprise!"

The filming wraps up, and the drivers begin to disperse, but Carlos doesn’t leave right away. Instead, he walks straight toward you, his usual laid-back demeanor gone. His expression is harder, his eyes searching yours for answers.

"Can we talk for a minute?" Carlos asks, his tone more serious than usual. There’s a hint of frustration, maybe even a little aggression, in his voice.

You nod, not wanting to cause a scene, and follow him to a quieter spot away from the others. His gaze doesn’t leave yours as he speaks, the intensity catching you off guard. "How long has this been going on?" he asks, crossing his arms. "Why didn’t you say anything sooner?"

You swallow, feeling a lump in your throat. "Carlos, it’s not—"

But before you can finish, Lando steps in, positioning himself protectively beside you. His playful energy has faded, replaced by a calm, steady seriousness. "Hey, relax, mate," he says, his voice low but firm. "It’s not a big deal. We didn’t mean to hide anything from you. It just… happened."

Carlos narrows his eyes, clearly not buying the nonchalant explanation. "Really? So you’re just together now, out of nowhere?"

You step in, trying to defuse the tension. "Carlos, it’s not like that. We didn’t want to make things awkward for anyone, especially with work. That’s why we waited."

Carlos lets out a frustrated sigh, running a hand through his hair. "Fine," he mutters, though it’s clear he’s still not entirely convinced. "Just… don’t let this mess with things."

With that, he turns and walks away, leaving you standing there with Lando. You exhale a breath you didn’t realize you were holding, the weight of the moment finally hitting you.

Lando, sensing your tension, leans closer and mutters, "Well… that went better than expected."

You can’t help but laugh, even though you’re still processing everything. "Better?"

He grins, nudging you playfully. "Hey, he didn’t throw a punch, so I’d call it a win."

Tag list: @abq654 , @spaceflowergal, @mads94sworld, @anewpersonthatexists, @qlovalova, @itsskavya, anaferreira-4, @willowsnook, @larastark3107, @blueberry648579, @luckyangelballoon, @runs-with-sciss0rs, @gtwdahhh, @edsmunsonsgirl, @under-seasoned-pasta, @marshmummy, @weekendlusting

[foreverisntenough]

‘Act II’

Summary: Attraction is like a gravitational pull that is undefinable and unavoidable. Unbeknownst to you, Jude had been keeping an eye on you since he caught a glimpse on his best friend’s girlfriend’s Instagram but he’s been loving his single life. You always were independent and know how to swim on your own but maybe you have been just treading water. Could the tides change on a holiday in Greece when you finally meet? It might get a little rocky but maybe you could be his paradise.

Index

Warnings: This series is 18+ MDNI

Note: Thank you for reading! Please be sure to like, comment, or message me what you think of the series! ‘Act II’ is interconnected to the 'You’re Mine' and 'Ours' Series but can read it independently.

Chapter 9 - His Angel | ‘Act II’

word count - 12k

One evening, while at a friend’s party, things boiled over. Jude was already on edge, his emotions raw and barely contained. Toby had been trying to talk him down, saying it wasn’t worth getting upset over, but it only fueled Jude’s frustration. 

“She was probably just waiting till you filled her wardrobe up,” Toby said casually, taking a swig of his drink, not fully understanding the depth of Jude’s turmoil. Jude froze, the words striking a nerve he hadn’t even realized was so exposed. He narrowed his eyes, the anger building inside him. 

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” he asked, his voice low and dangerous.Toby shrugged, not sensing the shift in Jude’s mood. 

“I mean, come on, mate. You think she’s ignoring you because she’s heartbroken? Girls like that move on fast. She’s probably prepping for the next season—new baller, new clothes, new Instagram posts. You know how it is.” Toby chuckled a little like this was obvious. 

“Are you serious right now?” he growled, stepping toward Toby. “You think she was just some girl using me? Using me for fucking social media clout?” Jude snapped. His fist clenched, the frustration of everything—the uncertainty, the silence, the way you left—pushed him over the edge. Toby looked taken aback by Jude’s sudden aggression.

“Hey, relax, mate. I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just saying...the whole thing’s been, what, a holiday fling? You’re just trying to make yourself feel better because you’re finally realizing what this was. You’ll be fine, bro. Take a breath and move on. You said yourself you’re still the same lad… before and after Y/N.” The words hit Jude like a punch to the gut. The idea that this was just a fling, something temporary, something you’d move on from, sent him into a blind rage. He shoved Toby back, his voice rising as his emotions bubbled over. 

“You don’t know anything about her or what we have!” Jude shouted, his face twisted in anger. “It’s not some fling, yeah? I fucking love her!” The room went silent. Toby stared at Jude, wide-eyed and speechless. He had never seen Jude like this—so raw, so vulnerable. It was clear this wasn’t just some casual relationship for Jude. His feelings for you ran deeper than anyone had realized, maybe even deeper than Jude himself had admitted before.

“You...you love her? Wow.” He asked, his voice soft, the shock evident in his tone. Toby blinked, trying to process what Jude had just said Jude, still seething, ran a hand over his face, realizing what he had just admitted in the heat of the moment. His chest heaved, the intensity of his emotions crashing over him like a wave. 

“Yeah,” he muttered, quieter now, almost like he couldn’t believe it himself. “I love her.” For a moment, neither of them said anything. Toby, still stunned, finally nodded, understanding dawning on him. 

“I didn’t know, mate,” he said softly. “I didn’t realize it was like that.” Jude slumped down on the couch, his anger subsiding into a heavy, aching feeling in his chest. 

“Yeah, well...I fucked it up so now the girl I love left.” His voice cracked slightly, the weight of his own words settling in. He had messed up. He had pushed you away, and now you were gone. And for the first time, he was admitting—out loud—that he was in love with you, and he might have lost you for good. Jude got up and left the room, his heart racing and his mind spinning. He found an empty bedroom down the hall, pushed open the door, and sat heavily on the edge of the bed. His hands raked over his hair, pulling at the roots as if that would somehow release the pent-up frustration. Everything inside him was burning—anger, regret, sadness, but more than anything, pain. Moments later, the door creaked open. Toby hesitated for a moment before stepping in, the awkward tension filling the air. He cleared his throat. 

"Do you... do you really love her, mate?" He asked. Jude didn’t look up, his shoulders hunched as he stared at the floor. Toby, trying to lighten the mood, let out a small, nervous laugh. "I mean, I never thought we’d get past having school crushes. You know? Didn’t think you’d actually—"

"Shut up, Toby," Jude snapped, his voice thick with emotion. The lightheartedness grated against the rawness he felt. This wasn’t a joke. Not to him.

"Sorry, man. I didn’t mean—" Toby's smile faded. 

"It’s not funny." Jude’s voice cracked. His chest heaved as he tried to gather the words, his hands gripping the edge of the bed tightly. "You don’t get it. You don’t understand how much it hurts being apart from her. It’s like...it’s like breathing is harder when she’s not around. Everything is harder." His voice broke, the vulnerability he had tried to suppress for so long spilling out now that the dam had burst. Toby stood in stunned silence, his eyes widening as he watched his usually composed friend unravel. He had never seen Jude like this—so utterly broken. He wasn’t sure what to say. Jude continued, his voice softer but filled with despair. "When she’s around, everything feels lighter, man. She... she’s this perfect angel, and when she’s there, she makes everything easier. I didn’t realize how much I relied on her until she left." His fists clenched, and he let out a shaky breath. "I pushed her away. I hurt her, and now she’s gone, and I don’t know how to fix it." Toby took a cautious step closer, seeing the tears welling in Jude’s eyes. He had always known Jude to be strong, unshakable, but now? Now he was witnessing the depths of Jude’s emotions, the sheer gravity of what this relationship meant to him. Jude blinked rapidly, fighting to keep the tears from falling, but they slipped down his cheeks anyway. "You don’t know what it feels like. My heart... it’s in so much pain, and it’s my fault. I did this." His voice cracked again, the weight of his guilt crushing him. He wiped his face with the back of his hand, but the tears kept coming. Toby finally sat down next to him, completely out of his depth but trying to be there. He placed a hesitant hand on Jude’s shoulder. 

"I had no idea it was like this, man. I’m sorry, bro. I didn’t realize she meant so much to you." Toby spoke. Jude shook his head, his voice barely above a whisper. 

"I knew. I knew and I ignored it... until it was too late." He let out a deep, shuddering breath. "I’m in love with her, and I pushed her away. Now, I don’t know if she’ll ever come back." Toby sat there, unsure of what to say, but knowing that this was the most serious, the most real, he had ever seen Jude. The magnitude of what had just unfolded between them was undeniable. Jude wasn’t just heartbroken—he was devastated, and it was clear that losing you was his worst fear coming true. Jude sat on the edge of the bed, his emotions swirling like a storm. He took a deep breath, trying to compose himself, but the weight of it all was too much. His hands gripped the duvet beneath him, knuckles white with frustration and sadness. Toby wasn’t sure if he should stay or leave. Jude—the cool, calm guy who always had it together—was now unraveling in front of him, and Toby had no clue how to help.

"So… love her? You sure? Maybe you’re just.. I don’t know, mate. Just take a breath here, yeah?”  Toby spoke, this time softer, without the nervous laugh from earlier. He thought maybe Jude was stressed, maybe he had drinks Toby didn’t see, he wasn’t sure. This felt foreign.  Jude didn’t answer right away. He just stared at the floor, eyes glassy with unshed tears. 

"You don’t know her, Toby." Finally, he spoke, his voice barely above a whisper, but every word was loaded with meaning. 

“What do you mean? I’ve met her. She seems nice. But you know, maybe—" Toby frowned, confused by the response

"No." Jude cut him off, looking up at Toby for the first time, his eyes blazing with emotion. "You don’t know her." He wiped his face roughly, trying to rein in the tears that kept threatening to fall. "She’s...she’s not what you think. Not just some girl I picked up while on holiday, not some girl after my lifestyle. You have no idea." Toby stayed quiet, realizing Jude wasn’t just venting. He was confessing something very real. Jude shook his head, his voice thick with emotion. "She’s so much more. She’s strong, yeah, but... behind that strength, behind this thick wall she puts up, she’s soft, man. So soft. It’s like... like there’s this glass around her, and you’d never know how delicate she is unless you’re lucky enough to be let in. And I was." His voice cracked again, but he kept going. "I was the lucky one. She let me in, and I didn’t even realize how much of a privilege that was. I took it all for granted." Toby was silent, his earlier casual attitude completely gone. He could see now that this wasn’t just about a girl or a fling. This was something deep, something Jude had been hiding, maybe even from himself. Jude rubbed his temples, frustration clear in his every movement. "She’s... she’s perfect, Tobs. I mean, not in the way you’re thinking. Of course, she’s fit but she’s perfect in all the little ways that matter. The way she smiles when she thinks I’m not looking, the way she laughs at my dumb jokes, even when they’re not funny. And when she talks about something she loves, it’s like the whole world disappears. I’d be lucky to even have a chance to hear her talk about a painting for hours." Toby shifted, unsure of what to say, but Jude wasn’t done. His voice grew more intense as he continued. "You don’t know what it’s like to have someone like that. Someone who makes you feel like... like you’re not just another guy, like you’re special and not special in the way the whole world perceives you to be. Special in a way because of everything but that. And I messed it up. I pushed her away because I was scared. Scared of how much she means to me." Jude’s fists clenched, his breathing ragged as the emotion took hold again. "You don’t get it, Toby. When she’s not around, when she’s not there to lighten the load. She’s... she’s my angel, man. And I don’t know if I’ve lost her for good."Toby’s eyes narrowed at the weight of Jude’s words sinking in. Jude wasn’t just in love—he was consumed by it.

"Mate..." Toby started, trying to find the right words. "I really had no idea. You should’ve said something. I’m sorry I piled on. You’re Jude though, girl stuff always works out for you.” He gave him a sympathetic smile. Jude shook his head in disagreement. You were not another girl and he should’ve told you that because he knew it. Toby could feel his despair radiating off him. “I know I give you shit but you should’ve told me. I would’ve listened, I… I would’ve… I don’t know maybe treated her a bit differently knowing she wasn’t just passing through. I didn’t know you two were like that… honest.” Toby sighed a bit consumer by guilt that he hadn’t seen it.  

"Of course you didn’t," Jude muttered, shaking his head. "No one did. I kept it hidden because I didn’t want to seem weak. But now? Now, it’s all crashing down, and I don’t know what to do. I’ve hurt her, Toby. I’ve hurt the one person I’d do anything for." Jude’s eyes filled with tears again as he confessed, "I’ve never felt like this before. It’s not just about her being beautiful or smart or whatever. It’s about who she is when no one’s watching. How she holds everything together, how she let me in when she didn’t have to. And now… fuck." Toby couldn't wrap his head around this. A big part of it being that Jude had been playing two roles. One for everyone else and one for you. He sat next to Jude listening as his friend poured his heart out. Jude wiped at his eyes again, trying to stop the tears from falling. "I love her, Tobs," Jude said, his voice trembling with emotion. "I love her so much that it hurts. And now she’s gone. I really fucking love her." Toby squeezed Jude’s shoulder gently, realizing that this was more than just a rough patch. Jude had found something rare, something deep, and in his mind, he had lost it all.

The stillness of the gallery felt almost oppressive as you sat there, staring at a message from Aurelian. The silence that had once been comforting now seemed suffocating. The familiar hum of the city outside didn’t reach you here, not in this moment. The world outside carried on, but in this space, in this moment, everything felt frozen. You hadn’t even realized you were holding your breath. Your hand trembled as you clutched your phone, reading and rereading the message.

‘Hey, chérie. Haven’t seen you around lately. Thought you disappeared or finally wised up and left Jude xx’

The words played on a loop in your mind. What was meant to be a lighthearted joke carried the weight of something far heavier. The irony, the bitter truth woven into those casual words, twisted something inside you. It wasn’t the joke itself—it was the reality behind it. You had left Jude. You had wised up, hadn’t you? You’d finally done what was necessary to protect yourself, hadn’t you? But why did it feel like anything but wisdom? You leaned back in your chair, staring blankly at the paintings in front of you. The half-finished piece seemed to mock you, its vibrant colors dulling in the dim light of the gallery. Your mind wandered back to Madrid, to the moment you stormed out of Jude’s house, his voice ringing in your head, the anger, the hurt, the finality of it all. It felt like a lifetime ago, yet the pain was still fresh, still raw. Your phone buzzed again, pulling you from the spiral of thoughts. Another message from Aurelian.

'Jude never said anything, so I wasn’t sure if you two were still a thing. I just wanted to let you know I’m having a party for my birthday. You should come. Jude’s invited too, but I figured you’re your own person, right? No pressure, just thought I’d throw it out there.'

You read the words once, twice, then a third time. It felt strange—foreign, almost—that Aurelian would reach out. You barely knew him beyond the surface level. He was Jude’s teammate, someone who existed in Jude’s world, not yours. Yet here he was, extending an invitation like none of that mattered. Like you mattered outside of Jude. A strange mix of emotions churned inside you—nausea, confusion, a flicker of something resembling hope, but mostly a gnawing emptiness. You weren’t sure why, but something about Aurelian’s message made your chest feel heavy. Maybe it was the idea that people already saw you and Jude as over, as if the relationship had never really meant anything. As if it was nothing but a fleeting moment in time. But it wasn’t fleeting for you. You hadn’t moved on. You couldn’t. Every time you closed your eyes, you saw his face—those dark, cheeky, expressive eyes that told you more than his words ever could. You saw the way he looked at you, the way he touched you, the way he said your name like it was something sacred. And now, all you had left was this void—a gaping hole where he used to be. You glanced back down at the screen, your finger hovering over the reply button. What could you even say? Did you even want to respond? Aurelian’s message, innocent as it was, brought everything crashing down on you all over again. You thought you were coping, thought you were getting through the pain, but the reality was you had simply buried it deep enough to pretend you were okay. And now, it was all bubbling back to the surface. You stood up, pacing the small gallery space, the echo of your footsteps the only sound in the room. Aurelian’s words replayed in your mind. 'Finally wised up and left Jude.' Was that how it looked to everyone else? Like you had made the smart, rational choice? Like leaving him was the right thing to do? But it didn’t feel right. It felt like a mistake—a colossal, gut-wrenching mistake. And now, here you were, standing alone in New York, trying to figure out where everything had gone so horribly wrong. You sank back into the chair, a wave of exhaustion crashing over you. Your hand moved instinctively to your phone, pulling up Jude’s Instagram. He hadn’t posted much since you left. Just a few cryptic photos—training shots, some scenic views of Madrid. Nothing personal, nothing that gave you any insight into how he was feeling.  You clicked back to Aurelian’s message, staring at the text. Your finger hovered over the keyboard, unsure of what to say or if you should even say anything at all. But then, almost without thinking, you typed a response.

'Hey, thanks for the invite. I’ve been back in New York for a while now… just needed some space from the fun in Madrid. Have had a lot of work to do.'

You stared at the message, fingers trembling. It wasn’t the whole truth, but it was enough. You hit send, heart racing as you watched the message deliver. It was a small step, but it felt monumental. 

'I hadn’t heard about the party from Jude…'

You carefully added, hoping the implication was clear enough for Aurelian to realize that you weren’t in touch with Jude. That you weren’t even in Spain. You made sure to emphasize you were definitely your own person now. The reminder, more to yourself than to Aurelian, stung. You had almost let Jude take that from you—your independence, your sense of self, your confidence.You didn’t know about the party from Jude. In fact, you didn’t know what Jude had been doing at all. You had been intentionally distancing yourself from him, avoiding his social media and keeping your phone at arm’s length. But it was impossible not to indulge in the pain of checking his match results. You still couldn’t help it—typing and deleting messages to congratulate him on an assist or a goal, as if some part of you was still tethered to him, as if a simple 'good game' might somehow fix what was broken. When Aurelian had messaged you about his birthday party, you felt a sudden pang of confusion mixed with something else—an ache, maybe, or a resentment toward the situation you were in. The sting of realizing that Jude hadn’t told you anything about it cut deep, but you quickly reminded yourself that you weren’t in Madrid anymore. You weren’t part of that world, part of his world. Not anymore. When Aurelian responded again, the message caught you off guard. The tone was familiar, comfortable, but there was something about it that made you pause. Flirty? Maybe. Or maybe you just wanted it to be. 

'City's not as fun without you around. You’re your own person so just wanted to extend the invite to you but it was a stretch. I’ve always known you were in a league of your own.'

It was a compliment, for sure, and your heart fluttered a little. You weren’t sure how to feel about it—how you should feel about it. There was a part of you that felt guilty, as if entertaining the idea of anyone else, even casually, was some kind of betrayal to what you had with Jude. But there was also a part of you that felt validated, like you needed to hear that someone—anyone—still saw you as more than just the girl Jude had left behind.

'If you find yourself in Madrid for my birthday, it’d be the best present if you came through.'

You stared at the message, unsure whether to laugh or feel conflicted. He was obviously joking—at least, that’s what you told yourself. But the words lingered, hanging in the air, teasing the idea that maybe you weren’t just a footnote in Jude’s life. Maybe you could still be seen, desired, wanted, even in this limbo you were living in. What really stopped you in your tracks, though, were the last few lines. Aurelian switched to French, and the words hit you in a way that English never could. 

'J’espère que tu vas bien. Tu me manques, ton accent, tes blagues, nos conversations.' [I hope you are well. I miss you, your accent, your jokes, our conversations.]

Even though French was spoken around the world, it still felt like a secret code between the two of you.You reread the message, your heart twisting in your chest. French had always been a part of you—a piece of your identity that grounded you, that reminded you of home, of your family, of everything that existed before Madrid, before Jude. And now, here was Aurelian, using it to reach out to you in a way that felt intimate, like he understood more than you thought. You closed your eyes, letting the words wash over you, the familiarity of the language wrapping around you like a comforting blanket. There was something nostalgic and bittersweet about it, like you were being pulled back into a part of yourself that you had forgotten. Or maybe, a part of yourself that you had abandoned.

'Tu me manques.' [I miss you.]

You missed him, too. Not in the way you missed Jude, but you missed the life you had in Madrid—the conversations, the lightheartedness, the easy camaraderie with people like Aurelian, who didn’t make things so complicated. It felt simple, effortless. And right now, you were craving simplicity. You stared at your phone for what felt like hours, the cursor blinking in the empty text box. What could you even say? The idea of going back to Madrid seemed impossible, a fantasy. The thought of running into Jude again—of reopening those wounds—was too much to bear. And yet, the thought of staying away, of cutting yourself off completely, left you feeling hollow. Your fingers hovered over the keyboard, unsure of how to respond. You wanted to tell Aurelian that you missed the conversations too, that you missed speaking French, missed feeling like yourself. But the words wouldn’t come out. Instead, you typed something simple, something safe.

'Thank you for the invite. I’m not sure if I’ll make it back to Madrid anytime soon, but I appreciate it. Hope your birthday’s a good one. Joyeux anniversaire, beau garçon.' [Happy birthday, handsome boy.]

You sent the message before you could overthink it, and then you sat back, letting out a breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding. The weight of everything—Madrid, Jude, the mess you left behind—settled back into your chest. You didn’t know what was next, didn’t know how you were supposed to move forward. But for the first time in a long time, you realized that you didn’t have to have all the answers. Maybe it was okay to just exist for a little while, to find your footing again before diving back into the chaos.  As you sat there, your phone buzzed with another message from Aurelian. You didn’t open it right away. Instead, you allowed yourself to breathe, to sit in the stillness, to think about what you really wanted. Not what Jude wanted, or what Aurelian wanted, but what you wanted  Because in the end, you were your own person. And no one could take that from you.

When Whitney called to tell you she was going to see Jude this week, you felt a sharp pang in your chest. It wasn’t unexpected—after all, he was still part of her circle, somehow—but it didn’t make it any easier to hear. Your heart hurt, caught somewhere between jealousy and sadness, and for a moment, you couldn’t find the right words to respond.

“I just didn’t want you to be caught off guard,” she explained, her tone filled with concern. Whitney’s voice was careful, measured. You appreciated the gesture—her honesty, her care in telling you ahead of time—but that didn’t stop the dull ache from creeping up on you. You swallowed it down, trying to muster a neutral response.

“It’s fine,” you said, forcing the words out. “He’s your friend too, right?” There was a pause on the other end of the line, and then Whitney’s voice came through, more insistent this time. 

“No, he became my friend by proxy,” she clarified quickly, almost urgently. “You’ve always been my best friend. My loyalty is with you.”  That small distinction—her reassurance—eased the tightness in your chest, if only just a little. Whitney had always been your person, the one who knew your heart inside and out, and hearing her reinforce that was a reminder that you weren’t alone, even in the aftermath of everything. You sighed, letting out a breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding.

“Thank you,” you managed, but your voice wavered, the emotions rising up again. Before you could stop yourself, you stuttered, your words spilling out in a quiet, vulnerable rush. “Just… could you tell me if he’s okay? When you see him?” There was silence on the other end, but you knew Whitney. You knew she was processing the weight behind your words, the lingering feelings you had been trying so hard to suppress. You could practically feel her heart breaking for you, even across the ocean.

“I promise I will…” she said softly, her voice filled with the kind of empathy only a best friend could offer. You could hear the unspoken wish in her tone, the way she wished she could be there, in person, to wrap her arms around you and hold you through it all. “I hope he isn’t.” She sympathetically giggled. You smiled but bit your lip, blinking back the tears that threatened to spill over.

 “I wish you were here,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. The vulnerability of the moment caught you off guard, the way everything felt raw and exposed. Since Whitney moved it had been hard. You didn’t fault her any, in fact you encouraged her move to England but you missed her.

“I wish I could hug you right now,” Whitney said, her voice cracking just enough to reveal her own emotion. “But I’m here, okay? I’m always here, even if it’s over the phone.” You nodded, even though she couldn’t see you, and let the quiet between you settle like a balm on your aching heart. She offered to come be with you but you had work and she had Teddy. When you needed her you’d tell her.

When Whitney saw Jude, it was after an England international team friendly. Jude and Trent had gone out with some other friends for dinner, but eventually returned to Whitney’s house, where a group of footballers filled her living room. Despite the chaos, Jude slipped away from the group, finding Whitney alone in the kitchen. 

“Have you talked to her?” Jude hesitated for a second before he spoke.She was rinsing out a glass when he walked in, his presence behind her unmistakable.  Whitney turned off the sink, exhaling softly as she faced him. 

“Obviously, I have. You know I have,” she replied, her tone firmer than usual. There was no room for pleasantries. She had always been fiercely loyal to you, and this moment wasn’t any different.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered, the weight of the words heavy. Jude stood there, not knowing what to say. His hands fidgeted at his sides, his eyes a little lost. 

“You should be,” she told him, the anger she felt for you evident in her voice. “You really fucked her over, Jude.” Whitney didn’t hold back, meeting his apology with the kind of brutal honesty only a best friend could deliver. The kitchen fell quiet, and while the silence felt tense, it was also thick with a shared understanding. Whitney had every reason to be mad. She had seen you through the worst of it, the heartbreak, the silence, the ache that wouldn’t go away. Jude felt the weight of her words sinking deeper into him. Despite her frustration, Whitney’s naturally nurturing side softened her posture after a while. She had always been a mix of fire and warmth, too kind for her own good at times. So, after the silence had stretched on, she rounded the kitchen island and sat next to him. Jude’s hands clenched into fists on his lap as he looked down, clearly torn.

“How is she?” he asked meekly, as if he was afraid of the answer. Whitney looked at him for a moment, her expression softening. She could see how broken he was, but her loyalty to you came first.  Your heart came first. 

“I’m supposed to tell you she’s fine without you…” She bit her lip and shook her head gently, her voice dropping. Jude’s face contorted in a grimace at those words, the thought of you being okay, of you not caring about him anymore, striking something deep in him. His jaw tightened as if he was fighting back something raw. “Jude… she’s hurt,” she finally admitted, her voice tender despite the situation. “You didn’t just treat her poorly. You led her on and you left her with questions she didn’t deserve.” Whitney saw the pain flash across his face and sighed. Whitney sighed, her frustration palpable as she tried to find the right words. She wasn’t the type to sugarcoat things, but she also didn’t want to completely crush Jude. Still, this wasn’t a situation where being nice felt easy or right. “She’s upset, Jude. You hurt her. You hurt someone who has never even put herself in a position to get hurt before. It was a massive deal that she was opening up to you. She was willing to hurt and you promised her you wouldn’t and yet here we are.” Whitney said, her voice carrying a heaviness that had been building since this whole mess began. Her eyes locked on him, trying to gauge how much he really understood. “Do you even know how much she liked you?” The question hung in the air, and Whitney’s stomach twisted as she waited for his response. She wasn’t just asking for you. She needed to know if Jude had even an inkling of what he’d lost, of how deep your feelings had been, and if he was capable of feeling anything in return.

“Subconsciously, I felt like I knew… but it scared me,” he admitted, his voice quiet, almost ashamed. “Because I think—I know—that I might’ve had even stronger feelings for her. But I didn’t know what to do with that. It scared me, Whit. Telling her, admitting it, would’ve meant growing up… leaving behind this life I knew I was good at.” Jude ran his hands over his face, frustration and regret etched across his features.  He looked down at the floor, almost as if he couldn’t bear to face the truth of his own words. “I don’t know anything about real relationships, and I know she doesn’t deserve anything less,” he added, the words almost a whisper. Whitney sighed again, softer this time, and reached out, picking up his hand.

“Every relationship is different, Jude, so I can’t speak for yours but none of us know what we’re doing at first. We’re all going in blind.” Her fingers tightened around his, a gesture more sisterly than anything, as she looked him square in the eyes. She paused, trying to give him space to let her words sink in. “But eventually,” she continued, “things get crystal clear. You figure it out. But you’ve got to be brave enough to take that step, to risk it. You’ve hurt her so much by not even trying. You’ve been playing it safe because you think you’re good at the life you had before her, but… you’re not that guy anymore, are you?” Jude shook his head. He had told Toby he was but he knew he wasn't. He wasn’t the guy he was ahead of that Greece holiday. His expression twisted, the words cutting deeper than he wanted to admit. He did feel stupid. 

“I’m an idiot,” he muttered. He felt reckless for how he handled things with you, for not being able to face his feelings, for choosing a fleeting life of surface-level connections over something real, something lasting.

“Yeah, but we like you…” Whitney took a deep breath. “Jude… She really really likes you.” Whitney paused. She wasn’t going to say something for you but she knew you loved him.

"I bet she told you to kick me out." His voice was quieter. Jude shifted uncomfortably, his hands still fidgeting as he looked at Whitney.  Whitney glanced at him, a faint smile tugging at her lips despite the tension in the air. 

"I offered," she said with a playful edge, trying to cut through the heavy mood, knowing he needed something lighter for a moment. Jude’s lips curved into a genuine smile, the first one he had managed in what felt like forever. "But you know her. She’s not like that... especially with you."  Whitney quickly clarified, her smile fading into something more serious. 

"Yeah," he murmured. "I know." Jude nodded, the weight of those words sinking in. Whitney hesitated for a beat.

"Y/N… she asked me to make sure you were okay." She explained. Jude’s heart clenched, his chest tightening at the thought that, after everything, you still cared enough to ask about him. The sound of your name, even in passing, nearly undid him. His throat felt thick, and for a moment, he couldn’t speak.

"She… she asked about me?" Jude’s voice broke slightly, his face a mask of conflicted emotions—relief, guilt, regret. He wasn’t sure if that made it better or worse. He couldn’t say your name though it hurt too much and it pinged in his brain that this could’ve all been avoided if he had just grown up and said it. 

"Yeah. As much as you’ve hurt her, she still wants to know you’re alright." Whitney nodded slowly. Jude let out a long, shaky breath. He was crumbling from the inside, the realization of just how much he had messed up crashing down on him like a tidal wave. 

"What do I do, Whit?" he asked, his voice full of desperation. Whitney sighed deeply, walking around the counter and enveloping him in a hug. He felt like a lost kid in that moment, someone who had made a mess but wasn’t sure how to clean it up. She rubbed his back and let out a breath of her own before she stepped back and met his eyes.

"I want to help you, Jude. I really do," she said, her voice laced with compassion but also firm. "If I tell you what to do… well then I should be the one seeing her.” Whitney smiled. “But you’ve got to make a decision for yourself. Take action, real action, on your own." Jude swallowed hard, sensing there was more she wanted to say. And there was. "If you can’t put in the effort on your own merit…" Whitney hesitated, hating that she even had to say it, but she knew it was the truth you needed to hear. "Maybe it’s not right for her. Maybe you don’t deserve her." Jude’s face fell, his eyes shutting tightly against the sting of her words. They were brutal, but he knew deep down they were right. Every step he had taken up until now had been half-hearted, marked by insecurity and fear. But those steps had led him to lose you.

"I know," he whispered, the admission feeling like the hardest thing he’d ever said. He opened his eyes, filled with determination but clouded by regret. "I’m going to fix it. I have to fix it all." Whitney watched him, hoping against hope that this time he meant it—not in the shallow, fleeting way he’d tried to patch things up before, but genuinely. She could see the fight in him, but she had seen it before, and it had never been enough. Jude was always good at grand gestures, but this time, she needed him to be good at the small, meaningful actions too.

"You better mean it this time," Whitney said, though her voice was softer now, more gentle than before. She wanted to believe him. Jude stood up straighter, his fists unclenching as he let out a long breath. 

"I do. I swear, I’ll do it right." He pulled Whitney into a hug, one filled with unspoken gratitude. When they pulled apart, Jude asked, "But will you help? With the… you know, the finer details. The stuff that isn’t make-or-break, but would… I don’t know, make it all feel special. Like, a nice gloss over the top?" Whitney smiled softly, shaking her head at his typical Jude manner of wanting things to be perfect, even in chaos. 

"Of course, of course," she said, her voice warmer now, filled with the hope she had buried earlier. "You know I’m a sucker for a good love story." Jude chuckled lightly, though the gravity of the situation never really left. 

"Thanks, Whit. I’ll figure out the rest. I have to. For her." Whitney gave him one last encouraging squeeze on the shoulder, her voice soft. 

"Make sure it’s not just about fixing things, Jude. Make sure it’s about growing up. Loving her for real. You owe her that." Jude nodded, his eyes serious, carrying the weight of everything he had lost and everything he still had to prove. Whitney stood there, watching as he steeled himself, silently praying that this time, he’d really be the man you deserved.The air in the kitchen was still thick with uncertainty, Whitney hoped more than anything that this wasn’t just another fleeting attempt. You deserved more than that. As Jude stood there, lost in the weight of his thoughts, Trent strolled into the kitchen with his usual easygoing smile. Without missing a beat, he threw his arms around Jude in a goofy hug. 

"Wow baby, really been bulking up, huh?" Trent teased, pulling back and laughing at his own dad joke.

"You’re hilarious." Jude let out a small, tired chuckle, shaking Trent off him along with a disapproving kiss of his teeth.  Whitney, standing nearby, smiled, rolling her eyes at Trent’s antics. She could always count on him to bring lightness to the room, even when things felt heavy. Trent playfully shoved Jude in the shoulder before turning to wrap his arms around Whitney, kissing her cheek in that affectionate, natural way of his.

“You know, mate, it’ll be alright. If you work at it." As he pulled away, he turned back to Jude, his expression softening, but still carrying that calm confidence Trent always had. Jude glanced at him, taking in his words. There was something comforting in how Trent said it, like a quiet reminder that not everything was lost. But it was the way Trent looked at Whitney when he spoke that made Jude stop and really listen. Trent kissed Whitney on the cheek again, grinning as she rolled her eyes but smiled at him all the same. "Good ones," Trent added, his eyes still on Whitney, "take work." Jude's chest tightened, his eyes flickering between the two of them. There was an undeniable truth in Trent’s words, something simple but powerful. He could see it in the way Trent looked at Whitney, the ease of their relationship, built on years of effort, love, and mutual care. It wasn’t easy, but it was real. Jude swallowed hard, nodding slowly as the realization sank deeper. He had to work for it. He had to fight for it. You were worth that, more than worth it.

"Yeah," Jude murmured, his voice rough with emotion. "I know." Trent clapped him on the back, a supportive gesture that said more than words could. Jude gave him a faint smile, appreciating the quiet wisdom in the moment. It wasn’t going to be easy, but nothing worth having ever was. As Trent and Whitney shared a look, both of them hoping Jude would finally figure out what he needed to do, Jude stood there, taking in the moment. He felt a spark of something he hadn’t in a while—hope. And maybe, just maybe, that was enough to start fixing things.

Your apartment was quiet, too quiet. It felt suffocating in the silence that followed your final goodbye to Jude. The words had spilled from your lips before you could stop them, before you could even fully comprehend them. 'I’m done,' you had said, your voice cold, detached. But when you returned home, the weight of it all came crashing down. You hadn’t meant it— maybe not entirely, a part of you knew very well that you wouldn’t ever be ‘done’ with Jude. But your heart was bleeding beneath all the bandages you were trying to wrap it in, and you didn’t know how to stop the pain. Jude had hurt you, over and over, and now it felt like the only thing you could do was push him away before he could break you further. The worst part was that when you told him you were done, you broke your own heart even more. Sitting on your bed, you buried your face in your hands, trying to hold back the sobs that were already clawing their way up your throat. You never cried before you had met Jude. You were always the strong one, always the one to hold it together. But Jude had shattered that, broken down every wall you’d spent years building. Since you met him, it felt like you’d done nothing but cry. Your chest heaved as the tears came anyway, silent and unstoppable. You wanted the world to swallow you up, to take the pain away because it was too much to bear. You were drowning in the ache, in the loss, in the thought that maybe, just maybe, you had lost the one person who made you feel like you were truly seen.

On the other side of the Atlantic, Jude sat in his own room, staring blankly at the floor. His phone was in his hand, the screen dark now, but your voice—your words—echoed in his head. 'I’m done.' He hadn’t believed it, not at first. But the longer he sat there, the more it sank in. You were really gone. He felt like the world had shifted beneath him, like he was untethered, drifting in a void. Everything was harder without you. Breathing, moving, thinking—everything felt like a monumental effort. You had become a part of him, and now that part was ripped away, leaving him raw and exposed. Jude ran a hand over his hair, frustration and despair mixing in a sickening cocktail of emotions. He’d tried to make you understand how much you meant to him, but he’d failed. Words weren’t nearly enough. He had pushed you away without even realizing it, and now he was paying the price. You were his everything, and he had let you slip through his fingers.

In your apartment, you curled up on the bed, pulling the covers around you as if they could shield you from the emptiness that was swallowing you whole. Your heart ached, every beat a reminder of what you had lost—or rather, what you had forced yourself to lose. Jude was still there, in the back of your mind, in every corner of your soul, but you had pushed him away. You had to. It was the only way to protect yourself. It felt like you were dying inside. You had never loved anyone the way you loved Jude. It hit you like a tidal wave, the realization slamming into you with full force. This was love. This was what all the poets and songwriters and dreamers talked about. The kind of love that took everything from you and gave you everything in return. The kind of love that tore you apart and put you back together, all at once. And you were pushing it away.

Jude stayed sat, tears burning in his eyes as he stared at the floor. He had never wanted anything as much as he wanted you. But now, the distance between you felt insurmountable. The silence was deafening, the space between you growing with every minute that passed. It was as if you were moving in parallel, both of you hurting, both of you broken, but never able to meet in the middle. That was the cruelest thing about parallel lines—they never intersect. No matter how close they run, they remain apart.

You sobbed into your pillow, your chest tight with the weight of it all. You had found love—real, heart-wrenching, soul-deep love—and now, like a masochist, you were destroying it because you couldn’t bear his idiodic behavior. You were so mad that Jude had made it so hard. You had pushed him away, told him you were done, when the truth was you were anything but. You loved him more than you had ever thought possible, and it terrified you.  And now you were alone, both of you suffering, both of you desperate for the other, but too afraid, too hurt to bridge the gap. The world outside moved on, oblivious to the two souls shattered in their separate spaces, each aching, each lost. And for the first time, you weren’t sure if you would ever find your way back to each other.

Jude and Aurelian were running through a drill at training, side by side, both focused on the task at hand but equally caught in conversation. 

"So, when's she coming back to Madrid?" Aurelian casually asked. Jude, distracted by the passing drill, shot him a quick glance. 

"Who?" He knew exactly who Aurelian was talking about, but his chest tightened at the thought of you.

"You know, her. I mentioned the party, but it seemed like she hadn’t heard about it." Aurelian’s voice was light, but there was something behind it, like he wasn’t just asking casually. Jude’s brow furrowed as he made another pass.

“What party?” Jude’s voice was sharp, unable to mask the frustration brewing inside him. Aurelian shrugged, chasing after the ball. 

"My birthday, bro. I invited her. She said she was working a lot lately, though, seemed busy." His words were clipped between breaths as he jogged alongside Jude, unaware of the storm building. Jude’s steps faltered for a second. He missed a beat, his mind racing. 

"How do you know that?" His voice came out more demanding than he meant. Aurelian gave him a side glance. 

"I told you. I invited her to my birthday. She's her own person, no? Inviting you wouldn't mean I invited her." He tossed the comment lightly, but Jude could feel the weight of it sinking into him. With minimal thought, Jude rocketed the ball towards the goal, but it went flying high, way over the post, disappearing into the stands. Aurelian noticed the change in Jude’s demeanor immediately—his body stiffened, and his expression darkened. Aurelian felt the shift, sensing the tension wasn’t really aimed at him but at something much bigger. The ball wasn't the only thing that had skyrocketed—Jude’s emotions had clearly spun out of control. Jude’s jealousy was practically radiating off him. "You alright?" Aurelian asked, trying to gauge how deep this ran. He could feel the heat of Jude’s anger simmering under the surface. Jude clenched his fists, trying to ground himself, but his thoughts were spinning. You were talking to everyone—Whitney, Trent, Winnie—but not him. And now, Aurelian? The fact that you were having conversations with someone he trained with daily, sharing things about your life, things that Jude felt he should know, made his blood boil.

"Yeah, I’m fine," Jude muttered, but his face was hard, his jaw tight. He wasn’t fine. Far from it. Aurelian nodded but didn’t push. He could feel the jealousy rolling off Jude in waves, and while he didn’t want to be the source of it, he understood. After all, it was clear Jude still had feelings for you. Jude’s mind raced as they continued their drills, his body on autopilot while his thoughts spun out of control. You hadn’t mentioned the party to him. You hadn’t mentioned anything. It felt like everyone in his life knew more about you than he did, and it stung.  Aurelian’s words echoed in his head: ‘She's her own person after all.’ That statement rattled him more than anything else. Jude, feeling the heat of jealousy and confusion, was quick to blurt out, "So, are you trying to pursue something with her?" His voice cracked slightly as he tried to maintain a calm exterior, but it was evident that his emotions were getting the best of him. Aurelian stopped mid-drill, looking at Jude like he’d lost his mind. 

“What? No, bro. I mean, yeah, she’s sexy.” Jude winced. “She’s really attractive but… you were with her, weren’t you? Or at least, you were.” He shrugged, baffled at the insinuation. But Jude, unable to stop himself, continued to ramble. His words came out fast, almost panicked, as if saying them out loud would somehow justify his own feelings or even ease the burning jealousy coursing through him.

"I get it, you both speak French and all, but do you even know what she’s like? She’s way too good for—" He stopped, realizing what he was about to say. Aurelian raised an eyebrow, intrigued but letting Jude continue. Jude, realizing he’d opened Pandora’s box, kept talking, listing all the reasons why you were amazing, how intelligent you were, how thoughtful and creative. He rambled about your quirks, how you liked your coffee with just the right amount of cream, how you’d stay up late sketching, your laugh, your ridiculous but charming wit. His voice cracked as he started talking about how you deserved someone who would pay attention to all of that, someone who would cherish every part of you, never take you for granted. And then it hit him—he was describing all the ways he should have taken care of you. The way he should have been with you from the start. The way you deserved to be treated. He froze, mid-sentence, the weight of it all crashing down on him. The image of you floated in his mind, standing there with that duffel bag your dad had gifted you, and how you’d once described it with such admiration. You’d talked about how it was made with so much care, each detail meticulously thought out, each stitch precise. Jude realized, in that moment, that the way he should’ve treated you was the same way you described that duffel bag. With reverence. With attention to detail. With care. And he hadn’t. Before Jude could even process the revelation, Aurelian laughed, stepping up to the ball and striking it with precision. It sailed smoothly into the goal, perfectly nestled into the net. At the same time, Jude's shot, born from frustration and confusion, clanged hard off the crossbar, echoing through the empty training ground. The sound hung in the air, sharp and unforgiving. Call it irony.

"You know, Jude," he said, wiping the sweat from his forehead, "clearly, she is too good for you."  Aurelian turned back to Jude, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. Jude's eyes snapped to Aurelian’s, his chest tightening. Aurelian continued, his voice calm but pointed, "You had a wide-open goal, mate, and all you’ve done is hit the post." The metaphor hit Jude harder than the ball hitting the crossbar. He stood there, speechless, the truth of Aurelian’s words sinking in. You were too good for him. You were always too good for him, and in his insecurity, he’d let you slip through his fingers. Jude's hands clenched into fists by his sides once more, frustration burning in his chest. Aurelian was right. Jude had the perfect opportunity, the perfect person, and he fumbled it. Now, you were talking to other people—Aurelian, Whitney, Trent—and he was stuck watching from the sidelines, knowing he had no one to blame but himself. Aurelian watched Jude’s face, the conflict playing out in his features. With a more serious tone, he added, “Look, bro, it’s not about me. It never was. But if you don’t get your head on straight, someone’s going to step up and treat her right. Maybe not me, but someone will. You’ve got to figure out if you're gonna be that person—or keep missing the goal.” Jude swallowed hard, the weight of the realization crashing down on him like a tidal wave. He had to fix this. But for the first time, he wasn’t sure if it was even possible. You deserved more than he’d given, and if he didn’t act soon, you’d find someone who would.

You had ignored Jude for ages but he continually checked in with Whitney to at least make sure you had a pulse. He had thought about calling or texting a million times but he just couldn’t do it. It felt too menial.  In a haze of exhaustion and heartbreak Jude decided to send you a gift. Jude had never bought art before, but this time, he knew it had to be different. Jewelry or a purse wouldn’t cut it; they were too shallow, too ordinary. He needed something that spoke to you, something that communicated how he felt in a way words never could. That’s how he found himself diving into the unfamiliar world of art, navigating galleries, and dealers, determined to find something that would reflect the depth of his feelings for you. 

So when a large package arrived at your door, the deliveryman insisting on a signature, you were understandably confused. The box was massive, covered in bold warning labels about careful handling. Your heart raced with a mix of curiosity and confusion as you brought it inside. It was no ordinary package. As you carefully unboxed it, peeling away layer after layer, you finally revealed the painting. It was large, vibrant, alive with a serene energy that filled the room. Jules Olitski’s 'Beauty of Angels'. Your jaw dropped. For a moment, you wondered if it had been sent to the wrong address, maybe meant for your gallery. But even then, it was impossible to fathom—it was priceless.  You stood there, staring at the painting. It was contemporary, beautiful, and yet, somehow serene. The way the colors seemed to dance across the canvas, soft and yet striking—it felt like it was holding something deeper, something that called out to your soul.  And then, you noticed the card. A small, simple envelope tucked beside the frame. Your fingers trembled as you opened it reading the title of the work, Beauty of Angels. Your heart shattered. Jude. He had sent this. The title of the painting felt like a punch to the chest. You weren’t supposed to be his angel. Not after everything. Not after the hurt and betrayal that still clung to the edges of your relationship. And yet, here you were, standing before this breathtaking piece of art that he had chosen for you. You held the card in your hand, staring down at it, feeling a wave of emotions rush through you—pain, longing, confusion, and an ache that you hadn’t let yourself feel in weeks. It was a grand gesture, yes, but it was more than that. It was his way of trying to communicate, to reach you in a way that words had failed. But the irony of it all was almost too much to bear. You didn’t feel like anyone’s angel. If anything, you felt further from it than you ever had before. The cracks in your heart, the jagged edges of your hurt, made you feel anything but angelic. And yet, here was Jude, sending you something so personal, so profound. It was like he had seen something in you that you couldn’t see in yourself anymore. You stood there, your heart aching as you looked at the painting again. It was beautiful, yes. But it also felt like a reminder of everything you had lost. Of everything that had once been and everything that could never be again. The room felt heavy with the weight of it all, and you had to sit down, the card still clutched in your hand. The painting stared back at you, a testament to how Jude saw you—even now, even after everything. But was it enough? Could it ever be enough to heal the wounds, to fix what had been broken? You weren’t sure. But for the first time in a long while, you let yourself feel the sadness, the longing, and the love you still had for him. The painting was beautiful, but the emotions it stirred in you were even more powerful.  And despite everything, a part of you couldn’t help but wish you were still his angel. Even though you knew you weren’t.

You stared at the painting for what felt like an eternity pacing around it and your apartment for what felt like hours, the walls feeling like they were closing in on you. The city buzzed outside, cars honking, people shouting, but you were lost in the quiet chaos of your thoughts. Jude's name glowed on your phone screen, your thumb hovering over the call button. Every second that passed felt like another nail in the coffin of whatever this had been between you two.  Weeks had gone by since you left Madrid, and the memories still cut deep. That night. The arguments. The coldness in his eyes when he couldn't even say your name. You hadn't intended to call him today; you told yourself that the space was necessary, that you needed to move on. But the ache in your chest never went away, and you couldn’t hold back any longer. You wanted closure. No—you needed it. You needed to hear him admit that it had all been for nothing, that you hadn’t meant what you thought you did. Finally, your thumb pressed down, and the phone rang. Each ring was like a countdown to the moment you weren’t sure you could handle. The silence between you was about to be broken at last. When he finally answered, his voice came through soft, tentative. 

“Y/N,” Jude’s voice was soft, full of emotion that he had been hiding from you until now. “I’ve missed you… so much.” Just hearing his voice made your heart skip. For a brief moment, all the hurt and anger melted away, and it felt like home. Like all those nights lying beside him, talking about nothing, just listening to the sound of his breath as he slept next to you. But that feeling was fleeting, replaced quickly by the cold reality that had driven you both apart.

"Hi," you replied, trying to keep your voice steady, but you could hear the waver in it. You had told yourself this was going to be a calm conversation, a way to smooth things over, to leave on good terms. But the minute you heard him, all the old wounds felt fresh again. “I’m sorry I left the way I did.”  Your own voice catching slightly. A part of you raged that you just apologized to him. Another part of you wondered if he had slept with someone else to relieve the blue balls you had left him with. 

“I’m sorry I gave you a reason to leave,” Jude replied, his sincerity evident. “I should’ve told you what you mean to me, but I was scared. I still am, but I can’t stand not talking to you.” You felt your heart swell with a mix of emotions—relief, sadness, hope. 

“I was scared too, Jude. I didn’t want to get hurt but you’ve hurt me anyway though.” You sighed. This conversation almost felt like it was too quick for you though. Jude was too eager to fix it all. 

“There’s been a lot of hurt lately…” Jude began and that planted a seed. “ I don’t want to hurt you,” Jude said, his voice firm despite the vulnerability behind it. “I want to make things right. I want to be the man you need, Y/N.” There was a pause, both of you taking in the weight of what had been said. This wasn’t an easy fix, but it was a start—a chance to bridge the gap that had formed between you.

“I don’t know what happens next,” you finally said, your voice steady.

“I’m not letting go of this,” Jude replied, determination in his voice. “I’m not letting go of you.” And with that, the silence between you was broken, the first steps toward something new, something real, finally being taken. As the phone call continued, the initial relief you felt from hearing Jude’s voice began to dissipate. Jude’s voice, which had always been so steady, so confident, now carried a different tone—one you weren't prepared for. “Y/N,” Jude began, a hint of nervousness in his voice. “I’ve been thinking… a lot, actually. I don’t want to lose you. I want to give this a real shot. I like you, Y/N. More than I’ve ever liked anyone.” You felt your heart shrivel up in that moment. You wanted an 'I love you.' Those words hung in the air, and instead of bringing comfort, they sent a cold rush through your veins. Suddenly, everything felt too real, too fast. Your mind snapped back to all the things you’d been trying to ignore—the doubts, the fears, the reasons you’d tried to keep Jude at arm’s length.

“No,” you blurted out, your voice sharper than you intended. “I can’t do this, Jude. Look, I appreciate the painting, it’s amazing and so thoughtful but I just can’t.” It was like the walls Jude had broken down, the ones that you were currently working on building back up were encased in steel buried deep in the ground now.

“What do you mean?” Jude asked, confusion and hurt beginning to seep into his voice. “Why not?”

“It’s just… it’s all stupid, Jude,” you said, your voice cracking with a mix of frustration and fear. “This whole thing—it’s just been stupid sex.” Jude felt like the ground had been pulled out from under him. You didn’t believe that in totality but you needed to pull the plug. 

“Stupid sex? Y/N, you know it’s more than that.” Jude was so offended. He knew he was in the wrong but god did it hurt to hear you say that.  Why did you call then? When he saw your name appear on his phone he thought the chasm had begun to yield. 

“Is it?” You shot back, your emotions spiraling out of control. “Or am I just another one of your conquests? Another girl you’ll get bored of and move on from? Another girl you treat like shit. It took you no time at all really to find another one of me.” You snapped.

“That’s not true,” Jude insisted, desperation creeping into his tone. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, Y/N. You’re different.” He felt sick to his stomach. 

“Different?” You echoed, your voice rising. “How am I different, Jude? You think I don’t know what you’re really like? I know about all the women before me, the playboy lifestyle. You’re just saying this now because you’re used to getting what you want, and you can’t stand the idea of someone saying no to you.” Jude was reeling, struggling to keep up with the barrage of accusations. 

“Y/N, that’s not fair. I know I’ve made mistakes, but it’s different with you. I’m not trying to play games. I want to be with you—really be with you.” He mused in panic. His voice was shaking.  But you couldn’t hear him over the roar of her own insecurities. You felt tears burning in your eyes, but you refused to let them fall. You wouldn’t let yourself be vulnerable, not now, not anymore.

“No, Jude,” you said, your voice trembling with the effort of holding yourself together. “It’s too much. I don’t want this—I don’t want you.” You cried, your heart breaking for the millionth time.  It hurt saying something you didn't entirely believe. You did want Jude.

“Y/N, don’t do this,” Jude pleaded, his heart breaking alongside yours with every word you spoke. “Please, don’t push me away.” But it was too late. The walls you had built around your heart were snapping back into place, and you couldn’t let yourself break them down again.

“All I do is cry not. You shouldn’t make me cry!” you said, your voice breaking as tears began to stream down your face. “I never cry. This isn’t what I want, Jude. I’m sorry.” You apologized and you weren’t sure why. Jude was silent, the weight of your words settling like a stone on his chest. He wanted to fight for you, to convince you that you could make this work, but the pain in your voice was too much to bear.

“I don't want to make you cry. I’m sorry,” he finally whispered, his voice thick with emotion. "I’m really glad you called though," Jude said, his voice quieter now, as if he were afraid to say too much. He was trying to revert the conversation back on course. "I’ve been thinking about you. About… us though." The way he said "us" made your stomach churn. Us. Was there ever really an us? Or had it just been you, constantly trying to be enough, constantly trying to get him to see you? All you ever wanted was for him to acknowledge what you were to him, but he never could. And now, hearing him say those words, that he had been thinking about us, it made your anger flare.

"Jude," you began, taking a deep breath, "what are we even doing?" There was tension in your tone. There had been a momentary lull but you were about to kick off in a way Jude probably wasn’t prepared for. 

"What do you mean?" His voice tightened, like he already knew where this was headed but was hoping to stall the inevitable.

"I mean, what is this? What have we been doing all this time?" Your voice rose slightly, the frustration that had been building for weeks spilling over. "I’ve been here, waiting for you to tell me something, anything. And you’ve given me nothing. Nothing that I can hold on to... And today, I mean the painting is gorgeous. You already knew I’d like it but…." You sighed. You genuinely loved the painting but you were avoiding the word love at all costs at the moment. You felt embarrassed that you did love him at the minute but should the circumstances be different you would’ve swooned over someone buying you art like this. 

"I’ve told you, you mean something to me," he said, his voice pleading now, as if that was supposed to be enough. But that was the problem. That had always been the problem. You weren’t just something. You were so much more, and he never saw it. Or if he did, he was too afraid to admit it.

"That’s not enough," you snapped, your voice cracking. "Do you hear yourself? ‘You mean something to me’? That’s what you’ve been saying for months. Do you even know what that means? Because to me, it feels like nothing." You quipped. He was quiet on the other end, and you could feel your heart racing, your emotions boiling over. You had held back for so long, tried to be patient, tried to understand where he was coming from. But now, it was all crashing down, and you couldn’t stop yourself. "I’ve been waiting for you, Jude," you continued, your voice shaking. "I’ve been waiting for you to tell me how you really feel, to be brave for once and just say it. I’ve given up so much for you. I left New York. I stayed in Madrid. And for what? For you to keep stringing me along with vague promises that I mean something to you?"

"I never wanted to hurt you," Jude said, his voice strained, like he was trying to hold it together. "I just… I don’t know how to say it." The tears were gathering on his water line. This felt very much like the beginning of the end.  Jude really hoped that this wasn’t the way this conversation would go but a part of him also wasn’t all that surprised. He knew he had wronged you. 

"That’s the problem!" you shouted, unable to hold back the tears that were now threatening to spill over. "You never know how to say it. You never know how to tell me what I mean to you. I’ve been bending over backwards for you, trying to be patient, trying to be enough, but it’s never enough for you, is it? Never enough for you to tell me." Jude’s breath hitched on the other end, and for a moment, you thought he might say it. That he might finally say the words you’d been aching to hear for so long. 

 "I… I’m trying to show you that I care. I don’t want to lose you." But instead, he stammered. Your heart clenched painfully at his words, and the tears finally spilled over again. 

"But you already have." You bluntly told him. The silence that followed was suffocating. You could hear your own breathing, heavy and ragged, and you knew that he was on the other end, feeling just as broken as you. Jude had to mute his phone for a moment for the sob that he felt ready to escape him. He couldn’t breathe properly. But he still couldn’t say it. He couldn’t give you the one thing you needed.

"I…" he started again, but the words faltered. You felt like he was never going to say it. He never would. Why couldn't he say it? Jude was wondered the same thing. It would feel unfair to say now. You almost worried he would say it in a last ditch effort and you didn't want it that way.

"I don’t think I can do this anymore," you whispered, your voice barely audible as the tears continued to fall. "I can’t keep waiting for you to figure out how you feel about me. I can’t keep holding onto something that’s never going to be what I need." Jude was silent again, and you could feel the finality of it all sinking in. This was it. Whatever had been between you, whether it was a relationship or some undefined situationship, it was over. The love you both refused to name had shattered into pieces, and there was no going back now.

“Y/N, angel. Please. Can we… Please it hurts me to think that I'll only got to know you this long. I want more. I’ll give you a lifetime of me, please.” Jude muttered terribly upset and terribly aware this was it. 

“Jude, please know that for the past few weeks I have imagined you imagining me. It's been the only thing that would soothes me. Dreaming you’d want more but… I know now that it’s just been a dream. You have been my favorite almost… really” You whimpered, tears running.  "I’m sorry," you whispered, your voice trembling with the weight of the words. "I’m so sorry, Jude." And before he could say anything, before you could hear the regret in his voice or the words he couldn’t find, you hung up. You stood there in the middle of your apartment, phone in hand, tears streaming down your face, knowing that it was done. Whatever you had with Jude, whatever it had been, was gone. You loved him. You had loved him with everything you had, and now you had to let him go.  Jude sat in his room, the emptiness around him mirrored in the ache inside his chest.  He loved you and never told you. The ache in your own chest was unbearable, but you knew it was the only way. The relationship—or whatever it was—had ended, not with a grand declaration of love, but with silence. The silence that had always been between you, unspoken and unresolved.

And now, you had to learn how to live without it. Without him. 

🪩🫶❤️‍🔥🍹🌞🍒 Thank you for reading! Please like, comment, or message what you think of the chapter 🍒🌞🍹❤️‍🔥🫶🪩

Next part - Chapter 10 xx

[rose-morose]

I've been on a superhero kick since finishing The Boys season 4 finale and I finally got around to watching the Harley Quinn animated series, or at least the 4 seasons that are currently out as of writing

a bit heavy on the meta comedy for my taste, but over all I enjoyed it, and I have some thoughts, so I'm here to bring you the amateur analysis nobody asked for or wanted

(very long Harley Quinn spoilers below cut)

(seriously it's so fucking long don't hit the cut if you don't want a wall of text on your screen)

at its core, Harley Quinn is a show about relationships, and I don't just mean romantic relationships, I mean human, and occasionally non human, relations of all kinds: family, friends, coworkers, lovers, enemies, nemeses, etc. it's an exercise in the concept of the social and how each person interacts with and relates to other individuals and groups

I think it would be fun to take a closer look at some of these relationships and analyse them from the perspective of a confused aroace loser with exactly 6 friends so here we go

the show centers on two individuals who, by the beginning of the show, have quite literally never had anything even remotely resembling a healthy relationship in their entire lives, which is not hyperbole in the slightest, and again is not just referring to romantic relationships, but relationships of all kinds

the focus is on DC's titular Harley Quinn, and her only friend turned best friend turned girlfriend (minor spoiler but not really) Poison Ivy, and the evolution of their relationship, as well as the relationships of many prominent DC characters around them, and also Kite Man

this is going to be quite a long one with many parts, so you'll have to bear with me for awhile or just give up now you have been warned

part one

the (toxic) insane clown posse (duo)

the show opens with the infamously toxic romance between Harley Quinn and the clown prince of crime, the Joker himself

episode one opens with a showcase of the well documented abusive relationship between Quinn and Joker and just how abusive the Joker truly is as he leaves her for dead yet again

Poison Ivy, powerful supervillain and only friend of Harley Quinn, goes to great lengths to help Harley see that her relationship with Joker is not as perfect as she believes

it's clear there is already a lot of love between Ivy and Harley, and despite the fact that Ivy is a well known misanthrope with a burning hatred of humanity, she has made a singular exception for Harley due in part to her tenure at Arkham as a psychiatrist during one of Ivy's stays

Harley spends season one attempting to escape the telltale psychological hold of a manipulative and abusive relationship, which is easier said than done and not simple in the slightest, but by the end of the first season she has made a considerable amount of progress

part two

emancipation, the crew, and new friends

of course breaking off her romantic relationship with the Joker does not free Harley of his hold, the process is far more strenuous and takes considerably more time, but now she has an opportunity to start some new positive relationships in her life to help her through, and that takes the form of her new crew which consists of Dr. Psycho, Clay Face, King Shark, and Sy and she befriends Ivy's plant Frank and the Queen of Fables as well

as I've mentioned Harley has no experience with healthy relationships, and her initial transactional attitude and emotional neglect towards her new friends is quite telling, but she is in the process of learning how to truly connect with people, a challenge her background in psychiatry seems to lend a foundation to help with

each episode of the first season follows her uncovering a new facet of how a genuine friendship is formed and maintained, all the while battling her own selfishness to be the best friend she can be

the friendships seem to fall out of touch over the course of the show, but there remains a rapport between the crew even after their professional split

the later seasons spend a lot less time exploring friendships, a decision I'm not too thrilled with, but the exploration of relationships continues regardless

part 3

Ivy, Kite Man, and the most baffling romance I've ever seen

I genuinely hate this relationship so much that I made an entire other post about it here

it's really god damn long, probably not as long as part 4, but fuck I just want to throttle Kite Man to death with my bare fucking hands

it's less the relationship I hate and more just Kite Man himself, he's not even necessarily a bad character he just fucking sucks and gets away with it every time and it pisses me off

though I do still hate the relationship

part 4

Harley, Ivy, true love, and possibly the best written romance I've seen on television

Harley's season 2 meeting with Mr. Freeze tells us a lot about what she thinks of love

she sees Mr. Freeze's affection towards his cryogenically frozen wife Nora as creepy and exploitative, and when Mr. Freeze gives his life to save his wife, Harley comments that his actions are 'insane'

admittedly Freeze's expressions of affection do seem very creepy, but Harley's subsequent outburst on how love is bullshit indicates that Freeze's behaviour isn't her real issue

Harley seems to believe that true love was a lie that the Joker sold her to keep her under his control, and, having no other experience, assumes that everyone is just like her and the Joker, and are only trying to get what they want from a relationship without consideration for others

but Nora's reciprocation of Mr. Freeze's affection when Harley unfreezes her quickly begins to cast doubt on her previous notion and challenges her perception of love itself

and then she finds her own true love and everything changes

enter the beautiful mess that is Harlivy

"I love you, in a very odd, hard-to-articulate way." - Ivy to Harley in episode 1

it seems clear from a writing standpoint that these two were going to be together romantically from episode 1 and on, the build up to which is noticeable yet sufficiently subtle, and I do think Ivy fell first and by first I mean before the show even begins, and if these two aren't the fucking definition of the fell first/fell harder trope

and Harley falls HARD

early on, her true feelings for Ivy, unexpressed, seem to take up every waking moment of her mind, and she struggles to avoid ruining her relationship with Ivy, while also desperately wanting to take a risk that could ruin it for good, after all, Ivy is marrying and committing to a hetero monogamous relationship with fucking Kite Man for some fucking reason

"You're here, and you're queer. Get used to it!" - Harley to Ivy after Ivy cheated on Kite Man with her

did Ivy already know that she is queer? based on her Catwoman anecdote, yes, and it seems like Harley was also aware of her own queerness, it is odd to see a queer relationship in media where no one involved is overtly struggling with their own sexuality or gender, it's not necessarily a bad thing, nor is it something completely new, it's just unexpected

unfortunately, we do have to talk about the giant kite-shaped elephant in the room, except, just kidding, no we don't, fuck that guy go back to part 3 if you care, his whole relationship was nothing but an obstacle in my opinion, but I should bring up the infidelity

in a monogamous relationship, when one partner engages in sexual or romantic pursuits with a third party without the other partner's consent or knowledge, that is categorised as 'cheating' and is widely seen as a profound breach of trust and a betrayal of the highest order, I think this is because monogamous relationships are built on exclusivity and trusting that your partner will not break their vow of exclusivity that they have sworn to uphold under any circumstances (sometimes there are exceptions I guess whatever)

to my understanding infidelity is often indicative of a want that falls beyond the boundaries of monogamy and is often not communicated properly for lack of courage, lack of will, or simple adversity to change

Ivy's want seems to be Harley, and her challenge seems to be adversity to change and a lack of self confidence/courage

from what I understand, it's the same as someone you thought you could count on more than anyone else in the world breaking an important promise that they made to you with utmost sincerity, and that shit sucks for anyone regardless of sexuality or circumstance

I have already spent way too much time on probably unnecessarily explaining adultery, but I'm aroace so I am just trying to work through it and understand it myself and am not actually certain if my understanding is accurate so please correct me if I'm wrong this is all third hand information

moving right along, we can finally watch the romance begin, enter the eat bang kill tour

Harley and Ivy have, up till this point, still not had a single healthy romantic relationship, and it really shows, but quite crucially they are improving every episode and trying their best to work it out

Harley, having never really experienced real romantic love before, is desperate to feel as loved as possible, and once she has felt it for the first time, she never wants to let go

she prolongs the eat bang kill tour as long as she possibly can, showering Ivy with gifts and doing crazy stuff that only serial killers would find fun, just trying to keep that high of the 'honeymoon phase" alive for as long as she can

Harley does not want to exist without Ivy if it means potentially losing the amazing feelings that she is experiencing for the very first time in her life

on the other hand, Ivy is very reserved and submissive, she has trouble voicing her true feelings to Harley and suffers for it, a similar pattern of behaviour that she exhibited with Kite Man

Ivy just can't say no, she also does not want to lose that high, but has a different approach to maintaining it

"A big part of being in a relationship is not always telling the exact truth. And that way, you can get what you need without hurting anyone's feelings." - Poison Ivy

this line is incredibly telling of Ivy's past relationships, and it will become a challenge that she must overcome if she wants any hope of actually forming a healthy relationship

and hey, maybe a little lie here and there isn't so bad for a relationship, that's not for me to say and I honestly don't know, but Ivy seems to use the technique excessively to her own detriment

but I mean, what would a compelling dramatic romance be without serious communication issues?

and all these little minor contentions and miscommunications finally build up to the first major conflict in Harley and Ivy's relationship, Edin

it turns out Harley and Ivy might not be on the same page about the whole extermination of humanity, and their failure to communicate that ends in horror as, despite Ivy's wishes, Harley makes a sacrifice that forces Ivy to choose between Harley's life and her own dream

Ivy chooses Harley of course, but this moment rattles their relationship dynamic dramatically and Harley panics, deciding that she wasn't being very supportive of Ivy, and still being desperate not to lose her newfound happiness, she lapses back into her behaviour from when she was with Joker, Harley goes right back to doing exactly what she's told without question and with great enthusiasm in spite of her own personal opinion, because that's how she has handled conflict historically, that's what has worked and she will do anything to hold on to that feeling she has had being with Poison Ivy

Ivy mistakes Harley's new found enthusiasm as genuine, and it takes the Joker himself to point out that she is doing exactly what he did to Harley so long ago, so Ivy asks Harley what she really wants

and now comes my favourite part, the very problematic Valentine's Day special

in spite of the many problematic events of the episode, there will never be a sweeter moment than Ivy sharing her favourite Valentine's Day with Harley, it just melts my heart every time I watch it

as for the problematic part there's nothing new, it's some standard self aware hijinks that affirms that the writers are aware of the unhealthy behaviours exhibited by the two leads and exploring that dynamic is all part of the story, mostly centering on Harley's fixation on being the best partner possible mixed with lasting psychological damage, all from her time with the Joker, but the resolution is adorable

I can't really describe Ivy's favourite Valentine's Day, you just have to watch it, it honestly is the most wholesome and genuine moment in the show, and I can hardly think of any other moment in any other show that can top it either

entering season 4, Harley and Ivy's latest challenge is to set up professional boundaries and segregate their own personal lives from their work lives seeing as they are now each working on opposing sides of a conflict

it's a struggle to be sure, and each partner is terrified that without their shared proclivity for villainy, a rift may form in their relationship

the fear is certainly justified, but despite the challenges presented by their professional split they manage to find other ways to connect

that's pretty much all I have to say on them so far, I think their romance is by far the best part of the show, and I personally believe it to be incredibly well written in spite of what others may think, but it's time to move on

"I mean man. You know me better than anyone." - Ivy

"You're easy to celebrate." - Harley

"And you're fun to celebrate with." - Ivy

part 5

found family vs blood relatives

"You people are not my family, and you know what? You're not even worth it." - Harley to her parents after they tried to murder her

there's no doubt that Harley's family fucking sucks, and you'll be hard pressed to find a family that doesn't anywhere in this show

Ivy's parents were abusive, Harley's were manipulative, Kite Man's are assholes, Batman's are dead, as are Nightwing's, Dr. Psycho is intentionally a terrible father and unintentionally a terrible husband, Sy locked his sister in a basement, Barbara's father is an alcoholic deadbeat and her mother left, King Shark hates his asshole father and killed multiple of his brothers, Robin's father is an emotionally repressed billionaire playboy and his mother is a sociopathic assassin that wants nothing to do with him, the list goes on

every blood family has fallen apart and some of the members have scattered to various found families

the show initially centres on one found family in particular, Harley's crew, but later shifts much of the focus on the bat family as well

both of these families are as dysfunctional as the next, but there is a sense of love and belonging that they bring to each member that families are known to have

what really makes a family? it's hard to say, I think it's like a sort of community that always has your back, even when you're wrong, and maybe you don't like each other all the time, but there is still a sort of love between everyone

families spend time together, but if they live together they're always trying to get away from each other, they support each other, but they will rescind their support if they think you're doing dumb shit that they don't like, they love each other, but may not often express it, sometimes they get along, and sometimes they don't, there is a certain dichotomy to a familial relationship that doesn't really exist in most other relationships

where as you might need to like your friends in order to stay friends, families can maintain a bond in spite of quarrels and disagreements, not everyone will like it, but it's what you've got

in this sense, families are the only relationship that you can never really seem to escape, Dick came back to Gotham, Robin left with his mother, Ivy tore the city apart to rescue Frank, Harley always rescues her crew, and they always rescue her

but the familial aspect does not define a relationship, other relationships will exist between family members that are not inherently related, you can be friends with your family, mere acquaintances, even enemies, or something else entirely

Batgirl and Harley are both new to the bat family, but despite their short tenure, both are given a sense of family from people they know very little about

in my experience, found family often comes from where you least expect it, Batgirl was probably the only person not absolutely shocked to their core to see Harley Quinn herself joining the bat family, and Sy was just Harley and Ivy's landlord before he sacrificed his physical body for them, Frank is a fucking plant, who would expect that their best friend would be a sentient fucking plant?

at some point Nightwing seems to heavily backtrack out of nowhere and stops treating Harley as part of the family, this, to me, seems to be just a poor writing choice seeing as Nightwing was previously very enthusiastic to have Harley in the family

while his concerns may be justified, it's weird that they are only just now being expressed

part 6

Nora Freeze, Batman, Bane, Jim Gordon, Batgirl, Alfred, Poison Ivy, and loneliness

Catwoman is the only lonely character that can tolerate being alone, she even prefers it

whereas Nora, Batman, Bane, Jim, Barbara, Ivy, and Alfred on the other hand each contend with their own particular brand of loneliness and each cope with it in their own unhealthy ways

Nora is grieving, Batman is reluctant, Bane is desperate, Jim is self sabotaging, Barbara is insecure, Ivy is traumatised, and Alfred is purposeless

but for this part I want to focus on Nora

in light of her supposed incurable disease, subsequent coma, and the loss of her husband, Nora has never been more alone

she has no one to turn to, and no one to support her as she grieves for all that she has lost, and I don't mean to imply that Nora's husband was what gave her life value or meaning, in reality it's only a small part of the life she left behind

Nora expressed that her fundamental life changes have left her alienated from all of her previous relationships, her friends and family all expect her to be someone that she no longer is

Nora seems to turn to drugs and alcohol for relief, she seems lost and doesn't know what to do, she just kind of eventually stumbles into her new job working for Ivy, and doesn't take it very seriously

she is understandably put off of serious relationships, and seems to just engage in sex for fun, which is not actually a problem though some characters may disagree

the people of this world have never been lonelier than they are now, and Nora is hardly alone in her isolation

Batgirl's earnest demeanor and nerdy vibe make it difficult for her to make friends, and her deadbeat parents don't pay any attention to her, though things seem to be even worse on the occasion that they do

Jim is married to the job as they say, though this is largely comedic he shows no signs of improvement

Bane is just not very bright and no one takes him seriously, though he does find someone in the end

Ivy hates humanity, but she still seeks companionship from those few she deems worthy, the only trouble is how few she deems worthy, and it's difficult to say whether this is her fault, or theirs, but she does find people she can connect with, and is definitely happier for it

why she deems Kite Man worthy will forever be a mystery to me

part 7

the Joker takes a stab at healthy relationships

after season 1 the Joker is presumed dead, but Harley and Ivy soon discover that he survived, as a basic bitch white suburban amnesiac with no memory of his true identity

his confusion provides the catalyst through which the Joker begins a romantic relationship with the totally unsuspecting Bethany, and by extension he becomes the step father to her two children

the relationship continues for a short number of months until Harley, in a desperate bid to save the city, violently reminds Joker of his true identity

this time around Joker remembers his own life as well as the life he had lived as an amnesiac and is immediately disgusted with himself

he breaks off his relationship with Bethany because she challenges his perception of his own identity and that scares him

however, upon realising how much happier he was as an amnesiac living with Bethany and her children, he decides that maybe he can give the whole true love thing a shot, after all, lots of dads are serial killers

and thus the true romance of Bethany and the Joker finally begins, it's honestly kind of surprising that Bethany still wanted to date the Joker and not the other way around, but I suppose it's understandable if you've already spent so much time together, plus Bethany and her kids were excessively eager when Joker announced to them his return to crime so maybe they were kind of into it the whole time

part 8

Jim Gordon and his (seemingly) one sided friendship with the Batman

Batman is self admittedly "not good with feelings" and by extension, personal relationships

he is incredibly insistent that he "work[s] alone"

he is dismissive of Jim's constant insistence that they are friends and not just coworkers, but in spite of this attitude Harley is able to convince Batman that Jim Gordon is not just a coworker, but might just be his one and only friend

the idea that they are friends is further compounded by the comedically timed screen saver of Batman's computer that shows him and Gordon together celebrating

after Harley's intervention their friendship remains very one sided with Gordon constantly seeking Batman's validation and approval, but Batman at the very least has acknowledged the truth of their relationship

part 9

can people change

can Harley become someone reliable and dependable?

can Ivy count on and trust someone other than herself?

can the Joker become a suburban dad?

can Psycho stop calling women cunts?

can Kite Man do anything right ever?

can people change?

according to the show, the answer is yes

Nora Freeze spent years in a cryogenic coma, and upon her revival, lost the love of her life

her friends all expected her to be the way they remembered, but the experience had a deep impact that spurred a fundamental change within her

she didn't just lose her husband by waking from the coma, she lost her entire life as well, she feels like an entirely new person, and it leaves her lost and lonely, but it wasn't her husband's death that left her all alone

Harley and Ivy are both forced to undergo changes in order to make their relationship work, but they don't just change for the sake of each other, they change for their own sake as well

these changes are what allow them to form all kinds of new positive relationships, but failure to change promises severe social consequences

Jim Gordon's failure to change guarantees the continuation of his misery, he could have had a loving family and admits that he loved being a father, but he ultimately decides that change is scarier than loneliness

part 10

Ivy and Swamp Thing, the end of friendship

"You never let me express myself, Ivy! This is why we stopped being friends." - Swamp Thing in a fit of rage

many of us have had that one friend that would whinge for hours on end about their problems, but would suddenly have something better to do when it was our turn to complain, unfortunately some of us have even been that friend

it can be incredibly frustrating for the listener, and the whinger often doesn't even realise that they're doing it

Ivy was that friend to Swamp Thing, and until now she never even knew the true reason they stopped being friends in the first place

it's tough to know when to give people a chance, and when to cut a toxic friend out of your life for good, Swamp Thing had to make that call for his own sake, and it seems to have paid off

their hiatus apart allowed Ivy the time she needed to grow, so that she could be a good friend for a change

it's also an example of the idea that the end of a relationship doesn't always have to be for good, people and circumstances change, and sometimes reconnecting can lead to a better relationship than you ever had before

so it's finally done, I have been writing this post for fucking ages now even though no one will ever read it, but at this point it's mostly for me anyway so no harm done, this blog is basically my diary as it is

I didn't even talk about everything I wanted to but it has been months so I'm finally just going to post it

[farmergirldulce]

Farmer Confessions Part 1

Here's a scenario: How would our romanceables react to us, the farmer, confessing our love for them? (,,>ヮ<,,)

Part 1: The Bachelorettes

♡ 𝒜𝒹𝑒𝓁𝒾𝓃𝑒

It takes quite a bit to get Adeline alone for you to talk to her because this lady is always so busy

Like?? Girl your budget portfolio can wait LOL

You send her a letter about a "potential project" you wanted to discuss with her and was able to fit yourself in her schedule for that week (okay technically a lie but you had to)

When you get to her office, as soon as she puts out the tea cakes and opens up the manilla folders on her desk you just cut to the chase

"Adeline, I like you! In a more-than-a-friend kind of way!"

She drops her pen, stunned

Her cheeks turn as pink as her hair as she's trying to process what you just said. You? Like her? What did she do to deserve this?

She finally manages to shyly respond, tucking her hair behind her ear:

"Farmer I... I like you as well. Thank you so much for telling me."

She also insists she won't let work get in the way of her relationship with you and she'll always make time for you. You also always offer to help her with work so you two can spend more free time together.

(btw she was lowkey pouting there was never a "project" you wanted to discuss but she forgave you; don't worry lol)

⋆｡‧˚ʚ🍓ɞ˚‧｡⋆

♡ 𝓒𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓮

You decide to tell her on one of the days she invites you over for tea

You take a few days to gather her favorite flowers to create a beautiful bouquet you hope she'll love

You knock on the door and she opens it to see the bouquet of flowers completely covering your blush adorned face

"Oh my, what's all this? For me? How beautiful~!"

She's floored with the sweet gesture and your nerves dissipate a bit

After she brews the tea and sets it down in front of you, she asks what the occasion is for the bouquet

Ho boy the nerves are coming back

You don't know what you'd do if Celine didn't return your feelings

You manage to croak out your confession, peeking though one eye to see her reaction

Her face is flushed, her index fingers touching each other as she says:

"Hehe... you beat me to it. I invited you over to tell you my feelings for you!"

You both share a sweet embrace, enjoying each others company for the rest of the day

You both become the sweetest couple in Mistria. Everyone wants what you two have!

⋆｡‧˚ʚ🍓ɞ˚‧｡⋆

♡ 𝓡𝓮𝓲𝓷𝓪

You two are besties so all the more difficult to profess your love without making things awkward

You've been practicing in your head all week on how to tell her without scaring her off as well as praying she returns your feelings

A perfect opportunity lands on your lap when Reina asks for your help taste testing a soup recipe she's been working on

Dressed your cutest, you head to the inn

She looks as prettier as ever when she greets you

Get it together Farmer

As the private tasting session goes on, you give her feedback what you think would be better (a little more pepper, cut back on the acidity, etc) and out of nowhere, before the conversation of culinary consultation can continue she giggles lightly and says:

"Wouldn't it be crazy if we like, started dating? We have so much in common anyways!"

You freeze at what she just says and she gasps, covering her mouth and cheeks turning red

"W-WAIT I meant like hypothetically because we both are good cooks and-"

"Nah, that's not crazy at all. In fact, let's go out!"

You're both shocked at how easy that was and just stand there like dummies, accepting each others feelings

You can feel Josephine and Hemlock behind you two with a thumbs up of approval as you squeeze Reina's hand

You're lucky to have a bestie AND girlfriend in Reina

⋆｡‧˚ʚ🍓ɞ˚‧｡⋆

♡ 𝒱𝒶𝓁𝑒𝓃

Yep; you've done it now

You've fallen for the town's doctor

You've tried so hard to put your feelings on the backburner simply because you think she's way over your league and Juniper would never let you live it down once she finds out you were rejected by Valen (oh ho ho ho ho!)

But my god; that doctor is beautiful and you had to tell her you love her or else you'd go mad

As your lovesick thoughts take over on how you'd woo Valen, you forget you're in the mines rn and one of those rock bastards make you trip and smack your head on the mine floor

You shed a tear as you pass out, regretting not being able to tell the hot doc how you feel (rip bozo)

You slowly open your eyes to see Valen over you with a light behind her

"My angel... am I dead?"

But no; you're just at the clinic and Valen is there tending to your injuries

"My, you've had quite the injury. You need to be more careful, (Y/N)."

She tells you you had a concussion and you should stay away from the mines until you're better

After a few hours of monitoring you, she discharges you and lets you go home and write to her if anything

Write? BINGO

You definitely write her, but not to whine about your injuries, but tell her exactly how she makes you feel

After a few days of silence, as you start to worry, she one day pops up on your farm with the letter in her hands, a slight blush on her face

"A love letter, hm? How cute... why don't we chat about what's happening here?"

You don't hesitate to let her inside your house to talk things further

You two will most definitely take things slow, but nonetheless you two will take care of each other and blossom this relationship to something beautiful

⋆｡‧˚ʚ🍓ɞ˚‧｡⋆

♡ 𝒥𝓊𝓃𝒾𝓅𝑒𝓇

You almost didn't want to have these feelings for this Mean Girl ₜₘ

But goddammit you wanted the hot witch lady whether you liked it or not

When you receive yet another invite to be her guinea pig you take this as an opportunity to get your feelings out of the way

You reluctantly arrive at the bathhouse to see the lady of your dreams looking as attractive as she ever has

Did she already give you some kind of potion? Under some kind of spell?

After you give the good boi Doozy well-deserved pets, you give yourself up to Juniper as she performs all kinds of experiments

You turn into a variety of things until you're a frog, in which she has trouble changing you back

"I dunno, (Y/N). This is a great look for you! Ohohohoho~!"

Before you get pissed at her, you recall a certain fairy tale and smirk.

"Doesn't a kiss from a beautiful princess turn me back?"

She nearly chokes

"A-A PRINCESS?! How dare-"

You both turn to see Doozy bark and point his paw to a page in the spell book and sure enough, a kiss in fact DOES reverse it

Yep; Doozy the Wingman LOL

She groans and gives in, kissing your froggy head, and you turn back to normal

"There. Satisfied?"

"I dunno~ Maybe the spell didn't work~"

"You little-"

You silence her with a quick peck on the cheek and dart out of the bathhouse, leaving a baffled and blushing mess out of Juniper

Not a confession per-se, but you got her thinking about you and craving more.

Once you finally tell her though, I'm sure she might warm up to you by then

(well maybe lol)

Next: Part 2 with the bachelors!

[naburi]

WILL YOU AVAIL ME AGAIN?

DAHYUN X READER

TAGS: DILDO PLAY, LUBE, BODY OIL, TONGUE PLAY, MISSIONARY, DOUBLE PENETRATION, DOGGY, ANAL

3.4K WORDS

Midnight and still awake, browsing to find a video that will satisfy you for tonight. It seems like you're looking at identical girls, fake big boobs, slim limbs, small waists. They all look the same which you find boring, not until you found her video. Her smooth thick legs are spread to front her tight pink slit, pleasuring herself in front of the camera, only wearing a face mask to hide her identity. “She looks like my coworker”, you said. Milky white skin, thick legs, broad slim shoulders. You didn’t give too much thought to the similarities not until you saw your coworker later that day.

You’re a young corporate man who can’t find romance to have a meaningful connection. You thought finally finishing college will improve your sex life, but what you found is the opposite. Everyone is busy in the fast paced workplace. Nobody has the time to build relationships, you are all too tired to go out to satisfy your sexual life. That’s why you start to lean on watching adult content. It’s easy, quick, and convenient as you can all have different platforms to have access to numerous adult content creators.

“MS. KIM,” you caught yourself calling Ms. Kim's attention. The thought of the woman you watched last night flashes on your mind. Dahyun looks back, “Hi, Mr. y/n, can I help you?,” she asked politely while still baffled you shouted her name. “I… I… No, I don’t have anything to say,” you say nervously. You don’t even know why you called her name. Feeling embarrassed, you apologize to Dahyun and quickly go back to your cubicle. The woman was left standing processing what just happened.

“It’s her right?” You said to yourself, rushing back home, not even bothered to change clothes. You pull out your phone to go back to the website you found the video. You found her page and surfed through her contents. Her first upload was 6 months ago. She goes from posting just the bottom half of her body, cropped from shoulder up, to revealing her head which still keeps her identity with a white face mask. She consistently uploads every week, most of her videos are just herself playing with her slit with different dildos, she also posts a quick video teaser having an intercourse but you need to subscribe to her page to have access to her adult contents.

Dahyun has a great image in your company. She's the youngest but already has few promotions due to her work ethic and dedication. There are rumors that her quick ascension to the corporate ladder is not because of her hard work but due to what she can do for you after work hours. The rumors didn’t hit the ground enough because of how well she befriended everyone in the company. Her young angelic face helps but what caught everyone’s heart is her bubbly personality that shines bright in the dull and depressing workplace.

It’s been a week now, you took every instance to get an interaction with the company’s princess. From personally passing some documents, to having conversations with someone in her department. Dahyun is not in the same department as you thus making your investigation more complicated. You thought about stalking her social media accounts but all are in private. You started befriending her close coworkers but good things about her are the only thing they talk about. Finding proof that they are the same person seems like an impossible task thus you finally gave up. Nothing would change if you prove that they are the same person, it’s not like you will snitch on the company’s princess after all.

Heavy rain pours just as you’re about to clock out. You and your coworkers are standing outside of the entrance waiting for the rain to die down. A white SUV pulls up in front of you, the driver’s window rolled down, its Ms. Kim, “come inside, I'll drop you off at the subway station.” Some of your coworkers who also take a subway with you ride the SUV. Everyone is too shy to take the passenger seat including you. “You can’t all fit in the back, one should sit beside.” She said, nobody what’s to go in front but they manage to convince you. Sitting tightly on the passenger seat, your colleagues at the back keep asking questions to Ms. Kim, as they also what’s to get close to her, while you’re sitting quietly due to shyness.

Dahyun’s phone that’s on the dashboard lit up revealing a notification. You notice a familiar application icon and the text that says she has a new subscriber. This is the proof that you're looking for, Ms. Kim is an adult content creator. Your colleagues in the back didn’t notice the notification and Dahyun just casually turned down her phone, thinking you don’t know what the notification is all about. Everyone is thanking Ms. Kim for the ride, She noticed how happy you are but not giving more thoughts about it.

Arriving at home, you now have more reason to watch all her contents, you're watching the company’s princess pleasure herself. Everyone's beloved coworker is in an adult site spreading her legs for views and money. It's been a few nights now and her masturbation videos became repetitive. Your high needs satisfaction thus you now subscribe to her paid contents to watch her get fucked by different men, from local Koreans to foreigners, she let herself get fucked to make an content. Her most viewed content is where she pours body oil all over her body which highlights her white skin. Her glowing white oiled up skin, made the sex more erotic. Her buttocks made a heavenly sound as the guy is hitting her from behind, her small oiled boobs get massaged sensually before she takes the cock inside her again. Dahyun wails and moans under her face mask as she gets fuck harder. The few bucks you spend for her content is worth it.

You smile and interact with Ms. Kim during the day while touching yourself watching her contents at night, this has become your routine until she has not been in the office for a few consecutive days now. Nobody knows why she’s absent for a few days now and her manager doesn’t want to disclose her reason. Watching her videos doesn’t hit the mark anymore. You’re about to go sleep but a notification pops up on your screen. Dahyun just dropped a new subscription based content. You can subscribe to her live stream where you can select what kind of dildos she will use and what position she will do a live masturbation. How this works is you're gonna give her gifts during the stream for her to follow your instructions.

She announced that the live stream will start tomorrow at midnight. You’re one of the first subscribers that’s in her live, her legs spread open just like the first time you saw her content. Her one hand is caressing her slit while her other hand is fondling her breast, Different sizes of dildos and lubes lined up to her right side. One viewer starts giving gifts with his comments on the stream. She asked Dahyun to use a thick dildo. She lubes the dildo and slowly inserts it in her slit. The thickness of it gives her a hard time as her slit didn’t even get to warm up. Few attempts pass by and she finally gets to put it all inside her, she starts to moan as she’s pumping the thick dildo inside her.

“Use the tentacle dildo and sit on it,” one commented. Dahyun reads this as she gets notified for the gift. She poured lube to the dildo and started stroking it to spread the lube. She sticks it in front of the screen as she slowly impales herself in the tentacle shaped dildo. The unusual shape gives Dahyun a different sensation making her more horny, she grabs both of her boobs as she’s sitting up and down to the dildo. She started to play with her boobs without even an instruction. She’s massaging her under boobs upward then focusing her fingers on her nipples. One of the viewers commented that she should use oil as she’s caressing her boobs. Dahyun follows, quickly pouring oil on her chest, smothering it all over her boobs, her boobs massages get more erotic due to how smooth she caresses her two mounds.

“Use the black dildo, in your anal, sit on it” a viewer commented. The black dildo is noticeably inspired by a big black cock, it's shaped like one and in great detail. Dahyun uses two hands just to pour lube all over the dildo. She turned her back to the camera as she’s slowly sitting on it. Her big butt is now in full view, the sight of her ass taking the big black dildo is too erotic, Dahyun groans as her ass is getting stretched. The viewers are praising her on how erotic she is, they commented that her moans are heavenly. They keep giving gifts even without instructions as they are pleased with what she’s doing.

To your surprised, Ms. Kim is finally back in the office. Everyone greets her and wants to know the reason for her absences. You're happy to see your colleague but you’re too embarrassed to greet her as you know the real reasons why she’s having a hard time walking around the office. You heard that she’s saying to your coworkers that she has a sprained ankle is the reason she can’t walk straight. Nobody bats an eye as the company is just glad to finally see their bubbly princess.

You thought everything goes back to normal but it’s been a week now and Ms. Kim has nowhere to be found, her manager said that she filed for a long leave due to personal reasons. You took the subway with heavy feet as you’re saddened by the news, it seems like you developed an affectionate attitude towards your colleague and just wants to see her do well again. After taking a bath as an attempt to lift your mood. You saw a notification from Dahyun’s page. She’s offering a VIP subscription where you can meet her face to face. This subscription comes with a hefty price and you need to abide by 5 sets of conditions: you can’t remove her face mask during the session, you can’t asked for an oral sex, you can’t ask for her personal information, you can’t record anything during the session, you should wear protection during intercourse.

You didn’t waste any time and avail her VIP subscription even though it’s worth half of your monthly salary. After sending your payment. You received a message where she sends you a time and date where you can meet her. It’s on Saturday afternoon, in one of the hotels in the city. The sudden realization that Dahyun will know that you’re one of her subscribers sent you into a frenzy. You don’t want to cancel your meet up as this golden opportunity may not knock again.

It’s Friday night, you do a quick shopping for self care materials as you want to look good and smell good when you finally do it with Dahyun. You are embarrassed to buy packs of condoms as it’s been ages since you last bought one. It’s the day of the meet up. She sends you a message that she will wait for you in the room. You're now in front of the hotel, standing nervously while wearing… a face mask. You plan to also somehow conceal your identity to Ms. Kim because you don’t want to destroy your working relationship with her. This plan fails miserably as Dahyun can’t hide her shock expression the moment she opens the room door.

There’s an awkward air in the hotel room. It seems like the two of you might not do it out of embarrassment. The silence in the room was broken by a pop up message on her phone. You notice how her expression changed as she read the message. Whatever is in the message is enough for Dahyun to ignore that her coworker will share the same bed as her. She laid her conditions in a serious tone as she removed her clothing, sitting naked on the center of the bed waiting for you to make a move on her.

You strip down your clothes in nervousness while only leaving the face mask. You awkwardly sit in front of the naked woman. You look in her eyes to see her expressions, but she doesn’t have any, it looks like she’s ready for whatever you want to do with her. You first touch her boobs, your two hands awkwardly reach to her mounds, carefully playing it. Dahyun knows that both of you will get satisfied with you still being cautious. “Mr. Y/n, I know it’s you, you can remove your face mask and do me as you please,” she said finally addressing the elephant in the room.

Dahyun’s message wakes you out of your nervousness. You’re here fuck the company’s princess and that’s what you do, you remove your face move and instructed her to lay down. The woman that you have been watching every night is not laying down in front of you. You position yourself on top of her reaching her two boobs again but this time, caressing them like how they deserve. Dahyun's boobs perfectly fit her body, and shaped her body to great proportions. The woman groans on how aggressive you mauled her boobs but you can’t help yourself due to how soft they are. Her pink nipples that you saw her playing on her content are now in the tip of your own fingers.

Dahyun yelps as you play her nipples. This encourages you to use your tongue to pleasure one of them. Flicking her nipple in a circular motion she grabs your hair to press your head even closer to her boobs. You notice that Dahyun also brings her toys with her. You reached out for her bag on the side table, from watching her oiled body to being the one pouring it to her. You pour directly on her nipples which caught her off guard by the wet sensation. From her nipples to her boobs, you massaged her body, smearing the oil in the process. Her white milky skin glistening, her smooth skin gets slippery making it easy to caress the rest of her body.

You pour oil down to her legs as well, massaging her thick legs, your fingertips move dangerously close to her slit which elicits a gasp from Dahyun as she’s anticipating it. You notice how she got wet after you massage her legs. You lick her slit up to taste your colleague. Dahyun keeps moaning as your tongue explores her slit. From her slit up to her clit, you lick every part of it, making your goal to eat Dahyun well. Your tongue focuses on flicking her clit, the woman jolts her hips in pleasure. You hold down her waist to keep her in place while continuing your barrage on her clit. You notice wetness in your chin due to Dahyun getting more wet. You hardened your tongue now and inserts in and out of her slit. The woman pushes your head down even more, while her other hand is stimulating her clit. You suck and lick your colleagues till she shakes her hips due to orgasm.

Dahyun is laying down letting her orgasm flow till she feels your tongue is now exploring her ass. Her ass is as pink as her slit, you spit on it as lube before you slowly lick her ass. Her legs started to move uncontrollably as she’s not used to her ass getting licked. From soft circular motions to fast in and out of her ass, every touch of your tongue elicits a loud moan from Dahyun. You notice she used one of her dildos to rub her slit while you're eating her down there. This signals to you that she’s ready.

You stand up to wear a condom while Dahyun can’t wait as she’s already shoving a dildo in her slit while she’s waiting for you. You smirk as your naughty colleague can’t wait any longer. Spreading her legs up. You position your cock in front of her slit that still has a dildo inside it. You pull the dildo out of her and it reveals how her slit forms into a hole that accommodates the size of the dildo. Dahyun is looking at your cock seamlessly entering her slit. The feeling of a warm cock can’t beat any size or shape of a dildo she thought. You hold her small waist as you gradually quicken up the pace. Hands on her face masks to cover her mouth, she’s embarrassed how her coworker can make her moan this load. Her muffled moan only adds to your fuel to fuck the company’s princess like she’s your slut.

You hear Dahyun calling your name through her covered mouth, her walls tightening, the woman is near her orgasm. You now hold her wide hips to get a better grip of her as you rammed your cock deep inside her as face as you could. Dahyun let go of her mouth to let a loud moan echo all throughout the room. You let her orgasm again while your cock is still inside her. Pulling out, you want to keep her slit stimulated. You put the dildo back inside her as you asked Dahyun to masturbate using her dildo while you fuck her from behind. You position her in a doggy position, her ass still wet from your tongue assault earlier on. She felt your tip bump in the entrance of her ass. Dahyun’s face is in the bedsheet, one hand plowing the dildo in her slit, she felt your warm cock slowly entering her ass. The woman groans lowly as she’s taking it all deep in her. Dahyun tight ass is no Joke, even though this ass takes the biggest of dildos, it’s still tight like it’s begging to get worn down. Dahyun has a big white ass which is impaled with your cock. Every slap to her meaty ass leaves a red mark of your hand. You both groaned as you started to move your cock in and out of her. You remember the endless nights you watched this big ass of her get fucked by dildos or other men, but for this moment, it’s yours to destroy. You plow your cock slowly and deep in her ass making sure your tip reaches as deep as your can. Dahyun is now biting her face mask, muffling her cries of pleasure. You began to move your cock at a quicker pace which made Dahyun speak inaudibly. She can’t move her dildo anymore as she’s getting too stimulated on how you fuck her ass. You’re now maintaining a quick pace plowing her ass, Dahyun cries your name as all she knows now is how your cock pleasuring all parts of her tight ass. She tried to reach for your arm that is holding her hips to signal you that she can’t take it anymore. Dahyun is about to turn into a mess. Her body drops on the bed but you still keep fucking her ass. Dahyun doesn't know how long it has been but she noticed when you asked her if you can cum on her back. She can only muffled a “Yes,” before you remove your cock in her ass and spray paint her back with all your cum.

The woman fell asleep for a few minutes before sitting up like she’s in a hurry. She asked if she could leave now, still catching your breath. You agreed to leave together. “I need money, my brother is sick, he will undergo operations next week,” Dahyun said as she’s driving you to the subway station. Without asking a question, she answered what you’re terrified to ask. You listen to her story while she’s driving you to the subway station. Her parents are too old to work, her family is only dependent on her. She asked if you can keep this between the two of you. She said she will go back to work after her brother’s operation.

“Will you avail me again?” Dahyun jokingly asked.

[nokonomi]

What if Bill Cipher had a little sister? + Bonus Reverse! Gravity Falls Bally

What if Bill Cipher had a little sibling, yes I know he destroyed his home dimension but like what if he formed a version of him into his little sister and make them instantly related? I would imagine them having like some kind of chaos junkie older brother and younger sister calmer girl relationship with each other. Bally knows she can’t scold Bill because well, for one, he formed her, and two! She is the younger sibling here so yeah no. But technically she can still scold him even if it results in a sibling fight. They express their platonic love for each other like that way.

Bally is more mature and calmer for a 12-year old triangular entity that has one eye as well, except she doesn’t have a top hat nor is yellow, she’s purplish-blue and has a dark purple bow on top of her pointy head. Eyelashes are more downwards and soft. Carries a little book around with her universal spells and all that little sh!t. She’s a nerd and she likes to study things about the cosmos.

Did I mention whenever she sings she has a very loud voice it can erupt an entire earthquake in just 3 seconds? Yeah so rule number one, no singing (bill said) Honestly she is very powerful but not as powerful as Bill, she can control matter and space, but not time. So she can basically form whatever she wants (an imaginary boyfriend)

Her spells usually come out in a bluish hue, indicating her rather calmer and insignificant side. She’s more exposed to nature then anything in the entire Galaxy. She’s never killed anyone! Not yet… but she is a well-behaved kid, even if she is billions of years old.

Now since she was formed by Bill, she doesn’t know what happened to her parents, well, not really her parents. But she wishes she had parents. She knows what they look like since she shares an individual mind with Bill. And trust me the clean-up process for her to forget all these memories was not pretty.

Sometimes she’ll make a dimension of her own and maybe spend time in it and remorse about lonely times, sit in a corner and draw her and her brother with their presumed dead parents hugging them both. Sometimes she wishes they could maybe hug her too if she was ever apart of the family when her older brother was younger. She misses them. She misses when she was just a little speck of dust in the universe for some reason before getting formed into a real Euclydian.

Now she doesn’t really talk with Bill much, since he’s too busy with much other sh!t he has to deal with anyways. Sometimes she wishes he had the time to spend time with her, but no! THAT never happened. She knows he’s got “big plans” coming up soon. But she can’t just stop time and make him hangout with her. It’s beyond her control. He formed her because he wanted someone to call “family” since he misses his parents.

But she doesn’t think that he wants her as family. He just didn’t care and formed her to clean up his own messes, which she always ends up doing. Part of that is true, some of it is not. She knows the trauma he has.

Fast forward a billions years later to the near 80s. It had been a long time ever since she saw her brother. Distant and alone and hungry for brotherly bonds and relationship, but they never seemed to happen in the end. That is until her mind peaked at a glimpse of Bill’s plans on Earth. Stanford Pines. A genius. Yes. She could finally find someone to connect to. So she headed down to Earth in a human form of herself to maybe see what her brother was up to. She could’ve done this any time, any day, any century, but no. She didn’t want to disturb her brother. After stumbling across Gravity Falls, Oregon. She mentally located the site Stanford was located at and found it, carefully wandering about it. She noticed that Ford was asleep and she decided to enter the Mindscape and see what his brain was filled with. Man, a genius. He was like her. She saw Bill and Ford playing chess, and once Bill detected her, he rushed over to her and said, “Heya sis! It’s been MILLIONS OF YEARS ever since I last saw ‘ya! How ya been?” He acts as if he had seen her last month. She got frustrated and stormed off, Stanford looked at her in sympathy, poor girl was lost.

Now she got angry because he acted as if he had seen her just last week, and he pretended to actually care when in reality he didn’t. This made her very frustrated, screaming at the top of her lungs as she ripped out pages of books that floated inside of The Mindscape. Bill tries to calm her down, which soothes her. What a fool she was for believing he actually cared for her in the end. She smiled and hugged him gently. Bill introduced Bally to Stanford, “Bally, Stanford! Stanford, Bally!”

Bally looked at Stanford in a curious way and smiled. He might be connected to her in some way in the near future. But when she found that portal they were planning, it ruined her. She knew something. She knew connecting The Mindscape with Earth would result in destruction. She tried stopping Bill. It didn’t work. He manipulated her. She ended up crying and storming off, she never saw Bill and Stanford ever again, assuming they were at their worst points.

Authors note: Man this was a very long lore story to go to! Anyways here’s a drawing of her and Reverse!Gravity Falls AU her! I’m hoping you all enjoyed the lore reading. She might be a bit tad out and cringe but I like her for that. I might change her up later!

Some facts about Sally and Bally. -Bally likes reading books and using her books to make spells or summon random things. She glows blue whenever she does something incredibly powerful.

-Bally believes Bill didn’t actually care for her, which he didn’t care for her actually. He manipulated her and why should she trust him? -She got cheated out of her own childhood.

SALLY

-Sally is an ENTP, silly and more extroverted, honestly had no care in the world whatsoever and a chaos junkie like Bill. -Makes fun of Will (Reverse!gravity falls AU Bill Cipher) for being so easily depressed and cries easily. She thinks he’s weak, she actually cares for her older brother.

-Literally the type to say “ROFLMAO!” “LMAO” “LOL XD” “<3” Gen Z type.

-Honestly does not care about Earth or any other dimension. WORKS FOR NOBODY. NOBODY. NOBODY NOBODY NOBODY.

[sweetimpurity]

i think i speak for alotta Miguel lovers...but we need more blue collar Miguel. Bots AND fics.

🍊 no.2

Whatever you like. Mechanic. Engineer. Construction. Welder. Bricklayer. Tiler.

Could be in a relationship with us or maybe just the guy who comes around.... Oh even a maintenance man. Handy man. Bob the builder. Nah. But we all know we'd love to see him working a car..

Thank you anon for all these wonderful requests! I'm working my way through them and consuming the necessary media to do these justice haha! I love it! 🍊

These bots can all be found on my profile: sweetimpurity on c.ai!

Blue collar husband ೄྀ---ˊˎ-

He’s tired and dirty after work…

He's tired and dirty, sore and achy. Coming home after an insanely long day and walking up the steps to the front door is his last big hill to climb. All he could think about all day was your pretty face. He absolutely hated leaving the bed this morning. Wanted to stay there with you in his arms. But his job is demanding and tough. A different construction sight, more shingles, new bricks to be laid all the time. But he does it all for you. Even more than for himself.

He finally makes it to the door, opening it with his key and stepping in. Relishing in the quiet of the apartment, knowing you're in here somewhere.

"Baby, I'm home..." He calls softly, putting his bag down, peeling his jacket off and the hat he was wearing pretty much all day. "Jesus..." He sighs, seeing the dust covering the brim of the cap, watching it fall off onto the carpet and onto his hands. "I'm filthy..."

Handyman Miguel  :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ

He’s come to fix your pipes… 😉

The faucet is leaking again. Of course. Because as soon as you get someone to come fix your radiator, something else would break. With the cabinets under the sink wide open, towels scattered across the floor, the boards under the sink soaked and warped, cleaning supplies and things all scattered across the kitchen floor... you're just waiting for your savior to finally come. The plumber you called in a sort of emergency request to help stop your floor from completely flooding through.

So antsy you wait here. You live alone so there aren't any roommates sharing in your panic. Watching the pipes leak into a pan under the sink, checking it every half hour. Watering your plants on the fire escape with the water that collects. Then instantly putting the pan back under there to collect the water seeping out through the threads of the pipes. Feeling quite helpless.

Finally after this process continued all morning long, there's a knock at the apartment door. You're in the process of bringing the pan back to the sink when you hear it. "Just a second!" You call frantically, putting it down and rushing over to the door. Practically ripping it open. And delivering a long winded explanation of everything that's gone on all day, all in one breath, all in a panic.

The poor handy man stands there, listening to your panicked retelling of all that's gone on. His dark eyes slightly widened, looking down at you from his tall height with soft concern.

Extra! *ೃ༄

Firefighter husband 

Your lifesaver…

"Pa! Pa! Papa!" His little girl squeals, bouncing up and down as he pulls his jacket off and puts his bag down after a long day at the station. Some routine checks and a car accident on the interstate were what made up his day today and he's tired to say the least. But seeing his kids and you makes it all worth it.

"Hey mija..." He grins, picking her up as much as it strains his muscles. Giving her big kisses on her chubby little cheek as she instantly starts telling him all about her day. Soon after, he sees you and the other little ones emerge from the kitchen to greet him at the door. He's grateful for his family after a day like that. To see everyone's faces after the day he had is like heaven.

Kinda went overboard ha! I hope you like them! And if you have any critiques or the links don't work let me know! Love ya! More to come...

[tributes-vamps-and-ginnyweasley]

Is The Manuscript about John Mayer??? Maybe I'm just too sleep-deprived? "In the age of him she wished she was 30" like he was when they dated? "Then she dated boys who were her own age" and "she thought about how he said because she was so wise beyond her years, everything had been above board. She wasn't sure"???? "And the years passed"

Because that would change the entire album. Because the same song references the theme of dancing and having babies and that would make the other songs that referenced those things connected. Which changes everything

[possamble]

What are your headcanons about Marcille's mom if you have any? It's interesting that what drew Donato to her was cause she lived the history he studied, or that was said somewhere at least. She must've had an interesting life.

so this was going to be just a normal answer but then I realized I have a Lot of Things To Say. so here goes, a compilation of what we know for a fact from the canon, what I've extrapolated from the visual cues and details, and my theories based on all of that.

Things we know for a fact about Marcille's mother because they were explicitly stated in the manga and supplemental materials:

She was a court mage for a Tall-man kingdom at the southern part of the Northern Continent

Donato, a court historian, fell in love with her because she had lived through the history he was studying, and he courted her for 17 years (age 15 to 32) before getting married

She was a cheerful person who rarely showed extreme emotion and took things as they came

She always cooked a huge meal for Marcille on her birthdays

She remarried a gnome after Donato's death and a short distance away from Marcille's childhood home

Pipi, Marcille's pet bird, was actually older than Marcille and originally belonged to her mother (bird died at 62)

She was extremely heartbroken when Donato died and ultimately ended up instilling a deep fear of mortality in Marcille with her words

the only time she showed extreme emotion in front of her family was when Donato could no longer eat his favourite dish near the end of his life.

She scolded Marcille for being cruel to ants (implying she can have a stern side when needed)

Things that are explicitly shown but mostly through visual cues

She has a very distinctive style of dress always involving a ribbon choker (mirroring Marcille's habit of always wearing a matching choker with any of her outfits that don't cover her neck)

She was almost stereotypically good at housekeeping and traditionally "wifely" things (very frequently depicted wearing an apron or doing some domestic chore when not at work, seems to have been an avid cook).

She knits? (also, note the affectionate smile as she's looking at Donato and Marcille reading a book together in the full panel)

She was as excited for Marcille's milestones as Donato was.

She didn't tell Marcille much about elven food

(there are a couple things that this panel in particular implies:

She lived a good deal of her life (if not being born and raised) in a mainly elven country in the West, implied by her knowing enough of an elven region's cuisine to prefer Tall-man food over it

seems to have a pretty carefree and casual demeanour overall, if this is how she replied to Marcille asking her about it (sounds like she never gave her culinary preferences that much thought to begin with)

slightly related to number 2, it seems like she and Marcille had a fairly casual parent-child dynamic (especially in comparison to the Toudens' memory of their father)

(local elf tastes Italian food once and never goes back))

However, she seems a lot more... serious in most of the other times we see her? Almost like the very stereotypical archetype of a graceful elf.

Subsequent conclusions about her personality:

Usually pretty carefree and cheerful at home, has been a loving and attentive parent throughout Marcille's childhood (while not being so doting that she didn't discipline Marcille).

Slightly more conjectural theories on her personality:

Had a much more graceful and professional personality at work, which would explain the more serious portraits we see of her.

Given that both she and Donato had positions at the royal court, it seems a little odd that she'd go out of her way to do all the housework herself, so maybe she just enjoyed doing it?

Now taping all the evidence together and toeing the line between analysis and fanfiction:

It's clear that she loved Donato very much and was utterly devastated by losing him. But there's one thing that really stuck out to me in what little we see of her:

Doesn't she seem... angry? The way she's gritting her teeth, clutching the tablecloth, and how this is the first and only time we see her eyes opened that wide. In the following panel, you see her being quiet and dejected after her initial outburst. She's still crying very intensely, but her brows are furrowed, and she's not really responding to Donato's affection in her body language.

We're not told the details of how she felt about losing Donato other than that it upset her. But this, to me, implies that she was angry and resented that he was aging, that the end of his life was approaching. An "it's not fair" type of preemptive grief. And if this was the first and last time she cried like this in front of her family, she was either very good at coping in private... or very bad at letting herself feel unpleasant emotions until they become unavoidable and end up overwhelming her.

It's not too remarkable a detail on the surface. It's even reminiscent of what the audience has seen of Marcille. But... when it comes to the big picture, you'd think an elf who voluntarily chose to marry a tall-man and have a half-elf child would have been better prepared for this.

It kind of recontextualizes her cheerfulness to me.

"I'm sure everything's gonna be okay!" (or some variation thereof, depending on what translation you have).

And this is stated to contrast her extreme grief when finally confronting Donato's failing body and eventual death. But I'm wondering if... maybe this optimism was why she was so upset. What if she went into all of it thinking "everything's gonna be okay"? What if she was a little young by elven standards, and just followed her heart thinking that her own resilience would get her through anything?

Of course, only to get completely overwhelmed when she actually loses Donato. She turns into a completely different person. And that's heartbreaking on its own-- but what the audience sees is the effect it had on Marcille. Can you imagine being her, watching your invincible and upbeat mother suddenly lose all the light in her eyes in one go?

I've already made a huge post about how I think Marcille models her "work persona" off her mother, but another thing that stuck with me as I was looking for more details in the manga was this:

copy pasting from the other post i made about it lmao it's like... the second she resigns herself to lifelong pain and terror, there's another portrait of her mother facing her like this. with their heads bowed, in mirrored body language of resignation and despair and sorrow. Except it's posed like Marcille is still looking at her mother but her mother is looking away.

It took me a second to realize, but I think that it's a visual metaphor for the fact that Marcille's mother was the only long-lived role model she had-- and she failed to model healthy grief for her daughter. I don't say this as an accusation or to disparage her as a character, but just as a matter of fact. In her, Marcille was seeing herself older and losing a short-lived spouse or loved one of her own, and all she saw was hopelessness.

But her mother didn't mean to instill hopelessness and terror in her. She wasn't really thinking of how it would truly affect Marcille at all (at least, that's how I'm interpreting her looking down and away from Marcille in the metaphor), she was just sad. And she, in her own way, was trying to protect her daughter and help her prepare for future losses.

What she meant was "loss is inevitable, and you have to learn how to be in pain but live on anyway." What Marcille heard was "loss is inevitable, and you will be scared and hurt for the rest of your life."

Again. Marcille's mother doesn't feature explicitly in the story the way her father does -- but in so many ways, her shadow, her silhouette, her reflection is always hanging over Marcille.

All that to say... headcanon-wise (everything from here on is 100% without evidence lmao), I'd like to think that she matured and realized that she failed Marcille. I imagine her being regretful about it, wanting a chance to fix it but never finding a way to insert herself back into Marcille's life when Marcille is so so so busy becoming the most accomplished mage possible. I imagine her being herself again, now, so many years after her loss and after remarrying -- but with her cheerfulness tempered with a lot more wisdom and the pain of having gone through loss like that. I think the second Marcille actually tells her what happened in the dungeon, she'd want to go running to her daughter again -- if Marcille tells her the full truth instead of just being embarrassed she let things get that far. (oh, the tragedy of her wanting to be more like her mother and an accomplished adult who doesn't need to be babied... being embarrassed to actually tell her mother how much she fucked up...)

There's also the tension of her having remarried -- I know that there's at least a little bit of resentment that Marcille harbours about that, because she's childish like that at heart even if she makes an effort not to externalize it. I think that her mother would be aware of that, potentially adding to her sense of guilt and apprehension at trying to reappear/intrude on Marcille's life. I honestly don't think Marcille has met her stepfather -- or even considers him a stepfather rather than "mama's new husband" and kind of a total stranger. I think she and her mother actively don't talk about it in their correspondence, like an elephant in the room.

but, ultimately, I think her mother is on her side no matter what. Ancient magic? Dark necromancy? Sure, she'll feel guilty and like she was partially responsible for setting Marcille down such a painful path, but she wouldn't care. that's her daughter!! she would've moved back west and been petitioning for her at the court, buying a house right next to the Canaries barracks and visiting her every day that she wasn't on a mission. And if her husband had opinions on Marcille becoming a "dark arts user," he either gets over it or it's divorce with him. Yes, she might have had her optimism completely humbled by losing Donato like that -- but she's still headstrong and self-assured and she doesn't care what people think of her. It's her way or the highway and she's always going to be in Marcille's corner.

(She also needs a name lol. I went with Juno, just to be cute about "Marcille"s closest real life equivalent being Marcella, which is the female version of Marcellus, which in turn is a diminutive of Marcus, which was derived from Mars. Absolutely in love with Marcille potentially being named after Ares/Mars the fucking god of war btw)

[n4rval]

ough. toriel my beloved

[swordmaid]

something so hilarious to me is that shri'iia becomes an oath breaker bc she failed to follow the tenets of lolth's paladins when she's on her own in the surface. like she did such a bad job on being a Lolth Paladin that she even ended up fucking an elf

[what-breaks-my-heart]

[izzy-b-hands]

I was thinking abt the occasionally fun but mostly frustrating tradition(in the states at least idk for sure if anywhere else does this?)of valentine's day boxes made for school.

That led me here. steddyhands and the dilemma of the valentines day box assignment for louis and alma, special feature on izzy and his rising blood pressure (sorry izzy bby akdnfjgn), which I'll be real i talk more abt in my tags on this since this probably isn't gonna be written out any further, so yeah. More plot talky izzy stuff in my tags.

Noting this in my tags too, but a moment to specify that ed and stede aren't trying to have like. a shitty parenting moment in this, they're just human and excited abt the situation and sorta fuck up a bit.

---

"The point is that they make the box themselves," Izzy says, for what feels like the hundredth time. "The only grade they get is 'did they do it or not'. Their teachers bolded that part of the email, remember? Said to mind getting too competitive about it?"

"Now I think Frenchie would happily take on the commission," Stede continues, thumbs tapping at his phone keyboard. "He'll reply quickly; he always does for me."

"It's a cardboard box," Izzy says. "To hold paper and cardboard valentines and cheap candy. That's it!"

"Money will help, but the overall design needs to be good," Ed says to Stede, as if Izzy and the kids aren't still standing there. "Money can buy resources, but it can't buy pretty, no matter how nice those resources might be."

"Oh that's good! Applies to other things too, I like it!"

"We bought them new shoes last week," Izzy sighs. Why does he keep trying? He couldn't say. "They each have a box already. We just need to help them decorate the boxes. That's it. That is all the teacher means with this project. I even asked Mary and Doug how they read it, and they agreed with me!"

"Ooh Frenchie has mock ups!" Stede cheers softly. "I knew he'd come through."

"It's okay," Alma pats Izzy's hand. "You tried really hard to make them understand. They're just excited."

"Can we go to the art stuff store now?" Louis whines, tugging at Izzy's other hand. "They won't even notice if we leave!"

"We should leave a note at least," Izzy says.

"Dad does love well written notes and random acts of abandonment," Alma sighs. "You dictate and I'll write. I want to practice my cursive."

"Really?"

"Dad can't read my cursive well yet."

"That makes more sense," Izzy says. "Louis, what are you-"

He watches as Louis tugs Stede's wallet from the countertop, and bolts outside, prize held up over his head with both hands.

"He won't notice," Alma reassures him. "You shouldn't have to pay for our stuff for this anyway."

"You've done this before."

"We'd be stupid if we hadn't," Alma tears a page from her notebook. "Here, I wrote it myself. I'm gonna get Louis in the car."

She's out the door after Louis, hands clapping to get his attention just like Mary did with them both.

"Either of you want to help me address that?" Izzy asks Ed and Stede, who he realises have indeed not stopped talking to each other the entire time. "She's a bit young to be acting like that, yeah?"

They're in their own world. Normally, he wouldn't care, but he's Guardian Five out of many and it feels like Parent/Guardians 1-4 could and should have already noticed it ahead of him.

"Fine," Izzy drops Alma's note by Stede's hand, deciding not to read it. That she actually went through with writing it is kindness enough. "I'm going to let her rack up a ridiculous bill on one of your seven credit cards, and they'll make those stupid fucking valentine boxes so fucking ornate..."

His anger fizzes out mid-sentence. Stede isn't listening. Ed isn't listening. Alma keeps honking the horn in the car and how did she get the fucking keys?!

"You know what? Fast food and ice cream for dinner too," Izzy adds. "On your dime. We'll bring you something back."

He turns his attention to Alma and the frank abuse of the car's horn. "Alma! The neighbours already don't like us, let's not make it worse! Not unless you've got something worse than this planned for later-"

--

The door thunks shut.

"Oh," Stede looks over to it. "Didn't Izzy just say something?"

"No idea," Ed replies, looking through design ideas on his phone. "Why?"

"They were just here," Stede continues. "Him and the kids. Right?"

"Maybe they went out for an after school snack," Ed shrugs. "To get inspired for this big art box project thing."

"Is that what this is? What was this for again?"

"Dunno for sure, but look at this," Ed turns the phone to show Stede the screen. "For Louis?"

Stede lets his concerns drop again. Izzy will mention if they're missing any key details about the kids' projects and what needs to be done. "I think he'd love it! Save that."

The house is getting dark around them, and he wonders if Izzy and the kids will be home for dinner.

[niuxita21]

Juan Carlos doesn’t believe me that we’re a couple. I know, Pablo doesn’t believe me, either. That’s why I think you should move in with me, that way they would have no choice but to believe us. [beat] I’m sorry, I know I was insensitive. I know you were really excited about Ferrán and you’re having a really hard time letting him go. But we have two very important reasons. We can’t split them up. We’re a family, regardless of who likes it. I know it’s been really hard for both of us having to lie to the people we love the most. Remember when our only choice was to be apart for a year. Yes, you’re right. I owe you an apology, too. I am willing to stick to the plan for our family. Thank you. I promise not to try to control everything and to trust you.