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#and kudos to him for acting the hell out of Nick
kruemel8 · 11 months
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human-sweater-vest · 10 months
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okay so we’ve seen glenn and ron so far in season two and they’ve been kind of what I expected.
glenn is pretty much the same as he was season one. it makes sense, he’s set in his whole thing, he’s vibing in hell with morgan and is sporting the same chill stoner vibes as before. the notable thing with him was that there wasn’t really animosity between him and nick (which also makes sense given their whole deal in season one). he’s always been far removed and it makes sense that in season two he’s still rockin with it.
ron then was a really touching surprise because he continued to grow as a person (insert beth may snickering here). he connected easily with scary and hit me like a fucking freight train with the line about him being sorry that she didn’t realize that losing terry jr. was her loss too. he’s this strange intermediary between the men in their family because willy took advantage of her needing someone to validate her pain, terry jr. was seen as a cause of it and therefore couldn’t help ease it truly (until things were too late), and then ron is here being his odd little self and extends sympathy to her because he also lost terry jr. and can understand. kudos to beth for ep. 41 because she rode the line between comedy and genuinely heartfelt and deep emotional moments like a champ.
and now here’s where we turn to speculation:
I’ve seen a lot of folks saying they’re worried about henry (and I feel like he’s probably going to warrant that because duh, it all comes back to the oak family when it comes to the doodler). however! my first point here is that we shouldn’t ignore darryl.
I feel like we see the most thought going into the oaks (and again, rightfully so, will and anthony are serving us trauma and drama on a platter) and I think one of the sacrifices with that comes at the extent of the wilson boys. the darryl/grant arc was the first time I really, truly got what dndads was all about. specifically, matt’s incredible line where darryl is replying to the other dads saying that he should showcase vulnerability to grant with darryl snapping and saying that he can’t be fully honest because he’s putting on a brave face because he doesn’t know if they’ll make it out and if he and carol will even stay together if they do. that line then contrasted later when he says that if grant asks him a question he’ll do his best to answer truthfully which allows for the big emotional connection they were lacking.
the wilson father/son relationship hinges on the idea of not being able to love the pain away and we see that extend into the next generation in a deeply tragic way. grant can’t make his mental illness magically disappear by loving his son despite how badly he clearly wants to. he can’t “we’ll talk about it later” his way into a healthy relationship where he’s able to offer his son both stability and truth. he’s fucked up and traumatized and never fully dealt with things and he’s dealing with the ramifications.
so how do we think darryl feels about that? how do we think darryl would feel knowing that he couldn’t love away grant’s mental illness (which isn’t something you can do, but he feels immensely guilty about in season one) and seeing the disastrous effect it had on the relationship between his son and grandson to the point where linc no longer refers to him as a dad? I personally really do think that he’ll act as a balm between the two and finally provide that space for them to become father and son again.
there’s truly so much I could say on the wilson family because I’m fascinated by the transition between the most stereotypically masculine family dynamic to a queered one (in both senses of the world) and how the thru line for the generations is this idea of not being able to 1. disclose the truth out of a sense of protection (see: frank hiding his marital and monetary issues, darryl hiding his martial issues and fear of not surviving faerun, and grant hiding who he is and what he does) and 2. love away the pain/illness.
and now we turn to the oak boys. I’m operating on the assumption that henry will be the last dad that they seek out because 1. glenn and terry jr. are in the same spot which means we get a two for one combo deal in hell 2. lark and sparrow clearly have a bad or at the very least strained relationship with their dad and will be less likely to jump on seeking him out and 3. the oak family started the whole doodler thing in this show so it makes sense that they’ll end it.
and for the sake of transparency: here’s where my bias comes through. henry was my favorite season one dad. normal is my favorite season two kid. will campos if you’re reading this, I want you to know that if I could simultaneously give you an academy award and sue you for emotional damages, I would.
the oaks have the most literal device explaining their generational trauma. hildy was ripped from her world after her companions were brutally killed in front of her, barry is a piece of shit, henry has the weight of both his father and having to be a father despite not having a role model, lark and sparrow are fucked up beyond belief in a manner of ways that starts at fucking their twin’s spouse and ends with starting the literal apocalypse. and then there’s normal. bearing the brunt of it all when he wasn’t even given the support to. he’s been carrying the weight of expectation since birth. his sister is hero, he’s normal and yet he’s anything but. that’s a whole other essay (catch me writing that when it’s not 2am).
back to the twins and henry though. from their view it’s bad right? lark hates his dad and destroyed the world. sparrow was an accomplice. I can’t imagine that things were easy after the doodler was released in the oak-garcia household. ESPECIALLY — and this has had me uncomfortable since we learned it offhand in episode 29 of the season — because henry and mercedes had another kid. first things first (and this might just be a me and my cultural background thing), but a minimum decade age gap between your first and second kids is A Lot. especially given the context here that henry struggles with being a father for the aforementioned reasons and his children literally Ended The World. I dunno about you but I think that I’d avoid having more kids at pretty much all costs at that point. but he and mercedes don’t. and hey maybe birdie/birdy was an accident. but my suspicion here (and I very much might be reading too deep into something mentioned in a literal “see you again” parody) is that birdie was a second chance kid. which would fucking blow if you were the aforementioned dad-stabbing—eldritch-creature-releasing child because it would look like your dad had gone “okay well that didn’t work out I can’t find a way to make these kids work so let’s try another one” which would justify the distance and dislike of henry from both of the boys.
I’m a very big fan of henry. he’s fucked up in the exact way I like my fictional men and also reminds me of guys from the city I grew up in which is both appalling and endearing. however, this is absolutely a move I could see him justifying to himself which morally makes me wanna walk into the sea and from a character/story standpoint makes me wanna jump up and down in glee. I really, truly am hoping that things pan out like that and we see a henry who loves his beautiful boys very deeply, but also gave up on them in exchange for a do-over.
I’m especially excited to see how he interacts with normal because my first instinct based on season one without my fucked up and evil birdie theory is that he’ll love normal and make him feel special and seen while my second post-birdiegate instinct is that he’s just not going to care anymore and therefore do fuck-all for normal. he has the energy of a man who eventually just stops trying because he can’t ever make everything better. will campos, if you deliver on that, I’ll figure out how to sneak the oak family into an academic paper.
finally (for now), I’m predicting that the familial reunions will reflect the how the anchors broke. glenn, ron, and darryl will be love while henry will be hate. I think there’s a lot of possibility there that I can break down when it’s not almost 3am. thanks for reading! lmk what you think, I really want to discuss this with folks and get your takes!!
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allwaswell16 · 2 years
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A One Direction fan fiction rec list of Harry rare pair fics as requested in this ask. You can find all my other fic recs here. If you enjoy the fics, please leave kudos and comments for the writers. Happy reading!
🧡 Slide by thisonegoes
(E, 87k, Zayn/Harry, kid fic, family issues, friends to lovers, post divorce, sexuality crisis, slow burn)
An AU about being a father, having faith, and growing up.
🧡 If This Is Love by sunsetmog / @magicalrocketships
(E, 85k, Harry/Nick Grimshaw, friends to lovers, coming out, sexual tension, Christmas, angst, baking)
Nick Grimshaw has done some stupid, ridiculous, mad things in his life, but falling for Harry Styles might be the stupidest thing yet.
🧡 Keep the Car Running by writeivywrite
(E, 73k, Zayn/Harry, football, sex work, adultery, implied/referenced suicide)
AU where Harry’s a male escort and Zayn’s a professional footballer written for the prompt 'anything involving switching'
🧡 we are spirits of a different sort by StormDancer
(E, 53k, Zayn/Harry, uni au, soulmates, enemies to lovers, soul marks, coffee shop, photographer Harry)
O hell! to choose love by another's eyes... Or, if there were a sympathy in choice, War, death, or sickness did lay siege to it, Making it momentany as a sound, Swift as a shadow, short as any dream
🧡 Perfect Sky by @polkadotlou / twoshipsdrifting
(M, 40k, Harry/Louis/Nick Grimshaw, poly, dom/sub, dom Nick, sub Louis, sub Harry, d/s society, pining, daddy kink, past abuse, angst with a happy ending)
Louis always knew that a Dom was going to come into his and Harry’s lives – he only wishes Nick picked him too.
🧡 Orion's Belt by LadyLondonderry / @londonfoginacup
(M, 24k, Harry/Nick Grimshaw/Louis, soulmates au, a/b/o, alpha Louis, beta Nick, omega Louis, soul marks, hurt/comfort, radio, uni, protectiveness, fluff, angst, implied smut)
Louis and Nick have been in a happy committed relationship for two years, their matching soulmarks on display for the world to see.
🧡 written in my memory by carissima
(M, 21k, Harry/Liam, amnesia, ot5 friendship, angst)
the one where Liam has amnesia and he struggles to connect with the boys
🧡 Lost Our Focus by @wabadabadaba
(M, 20k, Harry/Niall, established relationship, marriage, angst, relationship issues, past abortion, implied mpreg, teacher Harry, hockey player Niall, miscommunication, hopeful ending, smut)
the one where the marriage between Harry and Niall is falling apart and Harry thinks his hope for change will be the end of them.
🧡 Gilded Boys (series) by docklands / @hershelsue
(E, 13k, Harry/Orville Peck, canon, strangers to lovers, alcohol, light d/s, smut)
Harry is about to host the biggest Halloween party on the planet.
🧡 a little tenderness by @disgruntledkittenface
(NR, 10k, Niall/Harry, a/b/o, alpha Harry, omega Niall, touch deprivation, asexual Harry, hurt/comfort, cuddling, nesting, scenting, no smut)
Touch deprivation makes a lot of sense now that Harry thinks about it. Niall seems generally unwell; he appears to be weak, his skin is pallid and his lips look chapped, and his breathing is ragged.
🧡 That Don't Define Who You Are by @lululawrence
(NR, 7k, Harry/Louis/Nick Grimshaw, a/b/o, alpha Louis, beta Nick, omega Harry, insecure Harry, broken bond, hurt/comfort, healing, minor injuries, hospital, no smut)
the one where Harry is a licking omega with a broken bond who helps heal a fairly hapless beta with a folding bicycle. When Harry also meets the beta's alpha, things start to get... interesting.
🧡 This Time by YesIsAWorld / @louandhazaf
(E, 4k, Liam/Harry, friends to lovers, rebound, past Gryles, bad decisions, open ending)
When Harry shows up at Liam door, upset that his relationship has ended, Liam finally gets his chance to act on the crush he's harbored for ages.
🧡 It's Poutine Bitch! by @haztobegood
(T, 4k, Harry/Mitch Rowland, meet cute, alcohol, poutine, awkwardness, getting together)
“This?” Harry pointed his fork at the plate. “It’s poutine.”
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Companions Overhear Sole Singing
Cait:
Tries to act nonchalant and unimpressed, as if she doesn’t even notice
Really wants them to sing more, though
She finds it soothing
If she and Sole are quite close she may ask Sole to sing while she tries to sleep; nightmares are a bitch and knowing Sole’s near helps reassure her she’s safe
Sometimes she just eavesdrops on them singing and smiles to herself so she doesn’t interrupt them
Curie:
Very open and upbeat about their singing and doesn’t think they might get embarrassed if she gets enthusiastic about it; why should they? It’s wonderful
Compliments them right away and openly listens
Every time they start singing within earshot she stops and turns her attention to them, smiling
“Oh, Mx. You have such a lovely voice!”
Danse:
Doesn’t comment on it and continues what he’s doing, but he’s definitely listening
Enjoys it when they sing while Danse is cleaning his weapon and may specifically move within earshot so he can listen to them sing to themself while he cleans
If they’re closer Danse may request they sing while he cleans, but he flushes red right after, unsure if he’s overstepped a boundary
If they get flustered he reassures them that they don’t have to and also gets flustered
Can be accidentally smooth about it
“It’s rare to find people who can sing so well nowadays, but I guess that’s more of a reason you’re one of a kind, Soldier.”
Deacon:
Very dramatic about it, but is also appreciative once you get past the sarcasm and exaggerations that come to him without a thought
“Damn Sole! Your voice comes directly from the heavens! It’s healed my soul, I shall repent for my ways!” Yes he’s leaning back dramatically in his chair with a hand over his forehead while saying this
Enjoys teasing them about it if they get flustered, but doesn’t push it too far
Does have some moments where he just closes his eyes peacefully and listens to them sing instead of teasing them; often when he’s tired emotionally or physically (or both)
Them singing provides him a moment where he can shut everything else out and relax
Very rarely genuinely compliments them on it; he loves their voice but he has an image to keep up
(he also doesn’t do great with emotions)
Has a good voice himself but will join in out of tune to make them laugh
When they do he feels accomplished
Gage:
“You’ve got one hell of a voice, Boss.”
Gage gives kudos where it’s due, but it won’t be a super in depth compliment
It’s a passing comment that’s rare and he acts like it’s not a big deal
Doesn’t have it in him to request they sing, no need for them to get an ego about it, but he does enjoy it when they do
Moreso enjoys when they hum to themself as they do a menial task
Just feels very calm and almost domestic
Haylen:
Also openly gives credit where it’s due
Will wait for them to finish to speak up, though
She’s not afraid to openly listen to them
To her it’s not an ego thing, it’s a talent they have, and she’s gonna enjoy it
Hancock:
Gets a grin on his face
“Hey, Sunshine. Why didn’t you tell me you could sing like that? You could put Diamond City radio outta business.”
Requests they sing often
Sometimes after a shit day he lounges on the couch and asks them to sit with him and sing
Openly just watches them and listens
Sometimes falls asleep
If Sole gets flustered he just piles on more compliments
They’ve gotta work on their confidence
MacCready:
Turns red
Why? No one knows
Reminds him of home but he doesn’t know why
Probably his #1 most comforting thing
Doesn’t have the courage to ask them to sing for him but he makes sure to stop and appreciate it when they do
Eventually gets out a shy compliment after a while of them singing
“You’ve got a great voice, Sole.”
That’s it, otherwise he might overthink things
Nick:
Ellie also sings to herself when doing paperwork or filing things, so it’s very familiar to him
Honestly reminds him of peace at the office, so if they’re away from Diamond City, it can make him a little homesick
Doesn’t stop him from appreciating it, though
Will compliment them a couple times, but doesn’t lay it on too thick, especially if they get flustered
Doesn’t want them to stop because they’re embarrassed
Piper:
Will join in sometimes
Otherwise she just enjoys it
Finds it comforting but doesn’t think too much about it
Her mother used to sing to her when she was young so she definitely appreciates it
Sometimes she may ask Sole to sing if Nat has a nightmare or something
If Sole’s already singing she’ll request songs but doesn’t do it out of the blue
Preston:
Part of the flustered club
He’s never really been around someone who sings absentmindedly so he feels like he’s intruding on a private moment
Apologizes if they turn around and see him listening, especially if they get startled, flustered, or stop
Will give them a quiet compliment to let them know he appreciates their voice
His favorite moments are when they sing quietly to themself while they’re on patrol or watch with Preston
They have to be careful not to accidentally sing him to sleep while he’s on duty, though
X6-88:
Listen: He may be a courser, but he can appreciate art
Won’t give outward compliments, won’t make a comment, but will secretly appreciate it
Doesn’t stop what he’s doing to keep up appearances but will mentally be listening in
Unconsciously may turn his head towards Sole a little to hear better
It takes him and Sole being extremely, extremely close for him to make a comment, though
“You have a beautiful voice, Sole.”
If they’re together and have been for a while, he’ll hug them from behind, his arms wrapped loosely around their waist, and tuck his face into their shoulder and listen for as long as they’ll let him
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falloutglow · 3 years
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Writer Tag
Tagged by @glitchvault74 & @valkyriejack thanks yo!
Tagging: @roachvalentine, @its-sixxers, @memailikesnukacola, @bigwinged, @deacons-wig, @saintdeanthomas AND ANYONE ELSE WHO WANTS TO DO THIS!!! If you see this I TAG THEE
1.  How many works do you have on AO3?
Just recently 74 total!
For just Fallout its 26
2.  What’s your total AO3 word count?
Total: 163,825
For Fallout: about 55k
...I wrote so goddamn much for Pnat years ago its unreal XD
3. What are you top 5 fics by kudos?
I’m ignoring the overall fics and just going by Fallout only HAHA
1- Wrong (Its Hancock/Nick Valentine so I’m not surprised)
2- Waking Up (for whumptober 2020; Deacon/Nick Valentine)
3- Sensors and Sensations (Mysterious Stranger/Nick Valentine....are yall seeing a pattern here?)
4- Take Me Out With the Crowds (Nick Valentine & Echo (oc) ;w; hell yea 1st fic where they interact haha!!)
5- On Top of Sanctuary Hills and Far Away (my chapter fic that introduces my psyker gal Echo!)
4. Do you respond to comments?  Why or why not?
Sometimes, so long as I can remember! If I’m on mobile...usually harder to respond haha but if I’m on my computer its much easier. I’ll do it mostly cause I wanna let the commenter know I appreciate the kind words and having them take the time out of their day to tell me how they feel about my fics! Plus, its a way to build a bit of a community on ao3
5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?
In my personal opinion....either Lee’s Library (Walking Dead Telltale video game) oooor one of the many bad endings in Counterbalance (Paranatural) because ya gurl wrote a Choose Your Own Adventure fic and boy howdy. it depends on which end you get XD
6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?
Hmmmm, honestly not sure? Hella subjective honestly.
7. Do you write crossovers?  If so, what’s the craziest one you’ve written?
*SIIIIIGH* I used to. I’m not as obsessed with crossovers like I was as a kid. Technically, the craziest one I wrote when I was like 12 (damn preteen me had such a drive) was some wild and hella ambitious Camp au of sorts with a bunch of cartoon shows mixed with some ocs. There were...soooooo many characters to keep track of, easily like 30. Possibly more, maybe less.
I never published it cause it was for me to be super self indulgent and back then I also had to share a computer/laptop with my sisters and mom. I did not have access to flashdrive/usb yet, but damn did I fill like a notebook and half up with that goddamn wild au.
I wonder if its in one of the totes in the basement....hmmmm....
8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?
Yes. It was a long time ago and I don’t remember it nor do I care to remember that shit. Anyone who leaves hate on fics? Keep it to your damn self. Don’t hate read. That’s such a childish thing to do and you don’t like it? Why waste time on something you hate? It makes 0 sense! Go find something self indulgent and learn how to be nice.
9.  Do you write smut?  If so, what kind?
I...have... No I will not elaborate...
10.  Have you ever had a fic stolen?
No idea.
11. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Bold of you to think I’m that popular lol
12.  Have you ever co-written a fic before?
...Yes? I think so???? But it was a long while ago. I’m mostly a solo act lol
13.  What’s your all-time favourite ship?
PTH I’m a multishipper I cannot!!! Okay fine Nick Valentine x HAPPINESS LET HIM BE HAPPY I say while putting him through shit HAHA
(u_u I like to also ship him with my psyker oc Echo... why write fic if yaint being self indulgent?)
14.  What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?
That’s like all my WIPs tbh. The fact that I finish a wip is a goddamn miracle.
Though I’d LOVE to do my fallout haunted house fic with the END squad I’ve called “Follow You Down”. However, dunno if or when I’ll ever actually make it more than some massive chapter fic idea involving haunted mannequins, literature references, ghosts, and eldritch horrors.
15. What are your writing strengths?
My brain is a goddamn corkboard. I can slap down ideas like crazy and somehow create an elaborate way to make it work.
16.  What are you writing weaknesses?
... *leans against a closet door that won’t close* Haha funny thing. You know how I just said I have a fuck ton of ideas? >_>;
I’m also a slow writer, but mostly cause I think my words through.
17.  What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
Nah. I don’t think I’m qualified. Now if its a bilingual joke? I’m aaaaall over that shit haha My personal fav: “Why do French people prefer to have small breakfasts? Because one egg is un oeuf!” 
18.  What was the first fandom you wrote for?
Danny Phantom. It is also the first fandom I looked up fics for LOL
19.  What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?
OOF that’s a hard one... It’d have to be between On Top of Sanctuary Hills and Far Away (fo4) aaaand my most recently posted fic The Crooked Tooth (fo4)
The former cause istg it felt like I unlocked something while writing that fic. Pre-Sanctuary Hills fic I STRUGGLED at getting a higher word count. 1-2k was my maximum. 3k was an achievement! Both of these fics I’ve hit over 5k for!!! I’m still flabbergasted by this development! And... the latter is sooooo self indulgent hahahaha got that cute cute comfort, mutual pining (while both being idiots about it), while also slapping in that good good spooky shit >:3c
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foxtophat · 3 years
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MERRY CHRISTMAS IN JANUARY EVERYONE yeah i know ~nothing is fixed~ but whatever, fuck you, have some fanfic
so anyway i’ve been planning this for a while, i’m kinda shocked tho b/c i finished writing it in like less than 3 days??? (aside from editing)  usually it takes me longer to at least figure out how to wrap things up, but at least this one was easy money. i’m sure none of the other ones will be so kind to me
this one takes place a month or so after the last one; it’s set in spring 2028 (omfg finally on a new year!!!!) and it has a little something to do with carmina finally getting some chickens!!!!  one thing about new dawn that i think was really lacking is the explanation of how life... restarted before the highwaymen.  i definitely remember a few houses having chicken coops, too, so i know i’m not crazy putting these feathered friends in.  to me, chickens are the most sensible post-apocalyptic pet outside of a dog; easy to care for, provide food while alive AND after death, and they can reproduce easily enough if you’ve got a rooster on hand.  i can imagine a family making quite a life for themselves as a poultry farm in the apocalypse!
ugh idk what else to say so i’ll just say it: thank you so much for all of your comments and kudos on this series. i am so stoked to know that my self-indulgent trash is delicious to more than just my possum ass!  i’ve had a lot of fun worldbuilding in ubisoft’s playground, and i hope to continue doing more fun stuff that other people will enjoy too!!!
with all that said, i hope you enjoy the fic :) i’ll put it below the cut for you if you don’t wanna leave tumblr, but ao3 looks so much better. anyway, thank you and have a great jan 20th!!!!
Winter melts away the same way it does every year, leaving in its path wet dirt and green buds of spring growth. John, nursing what's likely the last cup of coffee they can wring from this batch of grounds, stares out over the back yard and idly marvels at how quickly the snow had disappeared. Montana had been his first experience with white winters; even though he's gotten used to the changing seasons in theory, though, he can't help but be distracted by it year after year.
Across the yard, situated just in sight by the hangar, John can plainly see Carmina's new chickens looking for breakfast. They're the newest addition to the homestead, but so far John has only had to watch from afar as the Ryes worked to adjust them to their new home. He's not sure who's raising chickens out here, but at least they were willing to barter. Fresh eggs are going to mean a lot more than the dwindling supplies out of Jacob's cache.
The misty-gray of early morning has almost evaporated in the rising sunlight, and still the chickens haven't been fed. John watches them from where he stands, their frustration leading to subdued crows as they scratch at the dirt. He doesn't know who's noisier — them, or Nick and Kim arguing at the table behind him. Thank Christ the wet end of winter is over; John doesn't think he can tolerate much more of their married nagging. On some level, he's glad they don't make a habit of yelling at him instead of each other, but Jesus, he can't wait for them to both get some space from one another.
"This is why we said we weren't gonna do pets, remember?" Nick says. "Because if she got a pet, we would end up taking care of it. Remember?"
"Yes, Nick, I remember."
"Yeah, and here we are!"
Kim sighs. John doesn't have to look to see the exasperated eye-roll that comes with it. "It wasn't me who kept her up late last night! Which one of us was egging her on when she should have been asleep?"
This is exactly why John has never owned a pet. They're more trouble than they're worth, and the only thing they seem to be good for is teaching shitty life lessons to kids who don't care enough to learn. The only good thing about the chickens is that they provide something in return other than obnoxious crowing.
Carmina thumps around upstairs. John isn't looking forward to having to listen to Kim lecture her on responsibility, but he's not thrilled to listen to much more of this bickering, either. If his choices are to stay inside and fester or go out into the first nice day of the year — well, that's not much of a choice, is it?
"Fine," John sighs before either of the Ryes can set their sights on him, "I'll do it."
"Nobody's asking you to do it," Kim replies. "It's Carmina's responsibility."
John shakes his head. "Of course it is. Where's the feed?"
Nick points out a white plastic container sitting on the pass-through to the kitchen. "Not gonna wait for us to boss you around?" he asks.
John picks up the container and rattles it to make sure it's full. "I'm streamlining the process," he replies. "Unless you enjoy giving me orders."
Sure enough, implying Nick might like being a bossy piece of shit is enough to get him to shut up. He sighs with a deep frown at John, who ignores him as he heads out to the coop. It's a petty satisfaction to take the rug out from under Nick's feet, but John's not above it. Not by a long shot.
Some of it might be compensating for the disintegrating peace that had come with winter. Before the blizzard set in, they'd had enough on their collective plates as they prepared for the worst of the season. Afterward, the snow had prevented them from doing much more than what was necessary to survive, and the resulting downtime had settled like a comfortable blanket. Even now, with a few weeks of grating interpersonal interactions, John feels more focused, more rested than he can ever remember feeling. Living underground for eight years, he'd naively thought that he'd gotten enough rest to last him a lifetime — but he'd been strung out on Bliss and trying not to suffocate, and he hadn't known what he was doing. He's starting to suspect that the Bliss might've had a worse effect on him than the myriad other drugs he'd ingested. Hell, he's not sure he's clean even now — but he's managing, and that's what matters.
It's only once he's halfway across the yard that John realizes Kim forgot to argue about him going off on his own. Sure, he's only going as far as the hangar, but it's become something of a pleasantry she uses whenever John pretends to have the freedom to go where he pleases. Her irritation at Carmina and Nick probably made her forget. She's gotten so used to trusting John that she's finally found other things to take up her attention.
Weirdly enough, the casual disregard for his potential backslide irritates him. It really shouldn't. He should be thrilled that he can finally disappear from view for an hour without somebody calling out a search party. He's more than earned it, he thinks, but their trust highlights their naivety. Luckily for them, John means it when he says he's changed — but it's a line they're going to hear time and again from people far less genuine than he's been. They're so willing to help everyone and anyone that they don't even realize how much of a target they're making themselves. John's had to hold his tongue whenever Nick gives free supplies to shifty-eyed tweakers who are "just passing through," and while he trusts Kim not to let anyone obviously suspicious into the house, he doesn't trust her to recognize a cunning liar.
The last thing John needs is for the Ryes to put their trust in the wrong reformed psychopath. At least he's capable of picking up their slack. After all, John has his time at law school and years of psychological abuse under his belt — plenty of real-world experience dealing with unrepentant garbage. He'll notice it when somebody cases the hangar or acts too erratically, and hopefully the Ryes will listen to him if he gets the nerve to voice his concerns.
Not for the first time since summer, John is struck with a newfound respect for Jacob and the role he'd inhabited in the Project. It used to be his job to look out for insurrectionists, and he'd taken on that burden even when John and Joseph would openly dismiss his concerns. John can't imagine how many fires Jacob must've put out while the rest of the family was distracted by the Bliss. Looking back on it now, it's honestly a surprise they maintained their operation as long as they did, considering only one of the four of them was ever sober.
The chickens are hopping at his arrival, scuttling around the dirt and crowing as John reaches the pen. They don't notice him so much as the bin he rattles on approach, full of vegetable cuttings and strange white worms that come out whenever it rains. John doesn't mind one lick — he's never been much of an animal person, and he certainly doesn't care if Carmina's so-called pets notice his existence. Of course, knowing Carmina, she's going to use this as an excuse to shift breakfast duty to John full-time, and John won't have much of a say in the matter.
Well, that's not strictly true, but if Carmina asked, he knows he would do it, if only to give his day more structure. Truthfully, he's grown to depend on routine, when before it was impossible to keep to a schedule that didn't involve other people's expectations of him. There's probably a metaphor to be made about trains on and off the tracks, but John has never been particularly interested in locomotives.
John shakes the dead bugs and scraps out into the pen, watching the hens as they race to be the first to eat. They're perfectly happy now that they've been fed, cooing and clucking as they peck the dirt. They certainly seem content with safety and food — not entirely unlike the survivors living day-to-day in the town and beyond. Sure, John might not always be satisfied by bare sustenance, and one day he'll chafe under the grind of surviving week to week, but for now, he might as well be a dumb chicken crowing in the morning sun.
He throws some more feed into the pen, watching the three hens waddle after their meal. One of them lingers by the fence, freezing for a moment as her head swivels back and forth. She pecks at the dirt away from the feed before hustling after her two companions. John watches as she stops again; when he tosses a few worms in her direction, she pecks briefly at them before lifting her head to survey her surroundings.
The primal sensation of something being wrong nearly overtakes John's reasoning, before he manages to remind himself that a chicken's predators aren't exactly his to worry about. Still, he rattles the container to bring the hens scuttling towards him; all three are easily distracted by food now, but John can't shake the feeling that he'd missed something they hadn't. A fox, maybe? A snake? Anything could be lurking in the woods on the other side of the wash. Not a whole lot that could hurt him , of course, but he's not about to be blamed for Carmina's chickens being eaten by a wild dog.
The fence-line is... nebulous past the hangar, sure, but John's positive Kim doesn't consider the rest of the old airport off-limits. Then again, she might be in the mood to lecture him once she gets through with Carmina. It's a risk he's not sure he's willing to take.
Two chickens continue to eat as one keeps watch, their heads bobbing up and down as they switch off. Their unease mirrors his own, and John can imagine Faith giggling at him for being swayed by some dumb birds.
"Very well, ladies," he sighs, shaking the remainder of their breakfast onto the ground. "Don't let them say I don't care."
The chickens don't give three shits about John's motivations, of course; they watch him go, pecking at the food with increasing carelessness as the distance grows. John rolls his eyes at their sudden fearlessness, half-convinced to let whatever animal is lurking eat them out of spite.
There's a wide swath of dirt behind the hangar, separating it from the mostly-overgrown remnants of Rye Aviation that couldn't be saved. John can see the edge of the chicken pen from here, but the hangar is blocking him from the house. Even though he knows the Ryes trust him not to run off, he still feels distinctly uneasy going somewhere where they can't see him. At this point, Nick would probably only tease him for it, but John's not about to linger out here and risk turning Kim's irritation on himself.
To the right of the derelict hangars is a sparse wedge of trees that have grown in uninterrupted. John knows there's a path cut between the trunks, one he'd made himself while hauling the tire-planters for Kim last year, and there's a long stretch of unused runway beyond it. It isn't a great place for anything bigger than a fox to lurk in. That doesn't explain the feeling of being watched that comes over him as he stops halfway across the empty dirt lot; he looks around, but there's no place for anything to hide out here. The overgrowth on the old hangars can't be more than two feet high, and the bushes in the copse are brambly and sparse. The only place anything could hide would be in the trees, which is why John approaches them with more caution than they're worth.
The thinned underbrush is easy to explore, but John goes carefully as he picks through the trees and bushes. He doesn't know exactly what he's looking for — some sign of predators, whatever those might be — but he doesn't find much. There are some hoof-prints clear in the dirt, curving sharply away from the Rye homestead and back out to the airstrip, which tells John that the goddamn deer are back, probably looking to eat their hard-grown crops. Other than that, there's no sign of anything that might be stalking the hen-house. The ground is still somewhat soft from the rain a few nights ago, but it barely takes the imprint of John's boots as he explores the small grove.
That's why it's such a shock to see the tread of a narrow boot in the dirt by the trunk of one of the trees, well off the beaten path. It's an old print, he thinks — but he doesn't remember the last time any one of them had been out this way. Certainly not since the last time it rained.
An electric shock conducts itself down his spine. Somebody had been out here, hiding here in the trees, and it's only been two, three days since the last rain. John turns, and from his vantage point, he can clearly see the coop and the back of the hangar, but not the house. For that, he'd have to move out of the trees, into direct view of the porch.
It has to be Grace's boot. She's the only one he could imagine creeping around the property with good intentions. But even that explanation doesn't settle the anxious flip of his stomach; he tries not to let it show as he marches from the trees, intent on dragging Nick over and proving to him once and for all that they need to be more goddamn careful about who they let around the property. Somebody is going to want the copper fixtures they've salvaged, even if there's nobody to sell the metal to these days.
John gets halfway back to the coop when he catches something in his peripheral vision. Terrible, primal terror grips him as he fixes his gaze on the trick of the light that had scared him, ready to catch Grace peering at him over the abandoned hangars, or maybe a pack of wild dogs. What he sees instead turns his blood to ice, caught like a deer in headlights as the low-hanging shrubbery and thick vines shift and part for a rising mass of dark brown fur. The shape that rises from the underbrush is a tall, dark smudge against the blue sky, and John nearly swallows his tongue when he sees its face — or the horrifying absence of one, replaced with white, flaking skin and two huge, empty eye-sockets that are fixed on John's position.
It doesn't move. Neither does John, frozen to the spot as the chickens begin to crow and fuss. He can't fathom what he's looking at — a bear, a person, a fucking mutant? — but whatever it is, he suspects it's infected with Bliss. Who knows how many angels ended up underground after the Collapse? What might've happened to them in the years since? All John knows about them is that they're dangerous to everybody but Faith, and Faith died a decade ago. If this is an angel — God, there'll be no stopping it. And if it isn't — then what the hell is it ?
There's no way for John to get from here to the house without the thing chasing him. The hangar is blocking his brutal oncoming murder from the two people who might actually be able to do something about it. He doesn't have to look to know the distance from here to the house is insurmountable.
The creature lifts its arm, and the situation that couldn't get any worse takes an even more horrifying turn as it reveals its weapon of choice: a crudely fashioned bow, the same kind of handmade weaponry that Joseph's followers have been seen with.
All at once, Nick's voice is ringing in John's ears, warning him of what's going to happen if this gargoyle takes him away. The things John hadn't considered before — the Ryes' reputation, Carmina's safety, the hard-won trust John's gained from the survivors — it's all in jeopardy. The situation barrels into him all at once — the realization that whatever Joseph did to create this thing , he won't hesitate to turn on John.
He tries to shout a warning, but his breath is caught in his throat. Faith's voice, faint on the breeze, laughs and whispers sing-song into his ear:
They've found you!
The monster barrels down the slope of the hill as if prodded into action by a hot poker. Its gait is wide, bringing it towards John at speeds impossible to outrun. This time, John's shout comes out clear as a bell, panic screaming through him as he turns and bolts for the house. He nearly clips himself on the pen as he hangs a sharp right turn, the porch coming into full sight —
Something snags the back of John's shirt, and his momentum briefly chokes him. A thick arm bears down across his neck before he can rip free, the creature grunting in exertion as it yanks him backward. John feels his boots scrape on the dirt as he's dragged towards the trees, away from the safety that's plain in sight.
Animal instinct kicks in. John gnashes his teeth but there's nothing to bite, so he kicks out his feet instead, first in front of him and then harshly backward until he can hook his shin behind his assailant's and trip them both to the ground. The creature goes down with a surprised grunt; John does his best to roll away, only to be yanked back by his hair. He's distantly aware that he's spitting like a cat in a sack, clawing and biting, the two of them rolling in the dirt as John screams profanities and heresy at the monster trying to pin him down, anything to convince the universe to take mercy on him for once in his fucking life!
The creature manages to grab him by the shoulder, throwing him into the dirt before backhanding him violently across the face. It's enough to daze him; for one horrible second, he's unable to do anything as the monster begins to drag him across the dirt by the legs.
There's a commotion coming from the house. For a split second, the creature looks up, and John realizes his opening at the same time the monster realizes its mistake. It looks down just in time for John to kick it square in its barky, hollow-eyed face, sending a split down the wooden facade.
" John !"
The monster reels backward as if burned, grabbing at the mask as it falls away. John catches sight of a single dark, wild eye behind the broken wood before he kicks out again, sending both boots into his assailant's chest. As soon as the creature staggers back, John bolts, scrambling towards Kim as she races toward him with the rifle drawn. Nick is hot behind her; he grabs John's shoulder and drags him partway back to the house. John doesn't need the escort, and so Nick quickly leaves him to scramble up the porch as he goes after his wife.
John gets all the way to the stairs inside before he realizes there's no safe place to hide. He'd found out this winter just how flimsy the prisoner story had been; if somebody wants to take him, all they have to do is climb onto the roof and jimmy the lock on the nearest window. Whether it's through the broken window in his room or a gap in the roof leading to the attic, the Project will find him. He can't possibly outrun them forever. He'd be stupid to even try. God, he'd been a fool for thinking Joseph wouldn't send someone looking for him, that he wouldn't want to snatch John back from the clutches of apostasy. There's no way Joseph will leave a loose end like him untied.
John sinks to the bottom steps in his mounting despair, only to realize for a second time that he's being watched. The realization is less of a shock as Carmina peers at him around the kitchen archway; she jumps at the distant rapport of gunfire, staring owl-eyed at John as though she expects him to do something.
"Stay down," John hisses, setting an example as he keeps low on his way into the kitchen.
"What happened?" Carmina asks, frantic, "Is mom gonna be okay?"
"Yes," John replies, although he can't possibly know that for sure. He waits a beat, listening for more gunshots, then carefully lifts his head to check out the window when none come. He lets out the breath he'd been holding when he sees Nick standing with his hands on his hips, staring at Kim further down the yard. Whatever the danger had been, it's not pressing enough to warrant immediate action.
"Seriously," Carmina whines, as if that could hide her fear. "What was it? Was it a bear? Grace says there are bears in the woods but I've never seen —"
John sinks to the ground, his mind reeling even as the panic passes, leaving him numb. "It wasn't a bear."
Carmina chews on her lower lip, looking up towards the window as though she might try looking for herself. "Are the chickens okay?" she asks.
"They're fine," he sighs. He pushes his hair from his face, only to realize that his hands have started to tremble with run-off adrenaline.
"Are... you okay?" she asks, frowning as though she can't decide whether or not his wellbeing is her problem to deal with.
Goodwill must be genetic, John laments. "I'm fine," he tells her. She gives his shaking hands a hard look; he sighs and reiterates, "I'll be fine. Don't worry about me."
"I'm not," Carmina huffs. Apparently, Nick's attempts to teach Carmina how to bluff haven't worked out.
John is saved from needing to reassure her as Nick abruptly appears in the kitchen arch, out of breath and red-faced. His shock gives way to relief at the sight of the two of them huddled by the counter. He's out of breath and visibly bewildered.
"Shit, John, you okay?"
"I'm fine," he says, although he doubts Nick will believe it any more than Carmina had. His foot jogs uselessly against the floor. "Kim — did she...?"
Nick shakes his head. "She tried," he says, "But it was too fast. What the fuck was it ?"
"Somebody from the Project."
"No shit. But — look, it wasn't an angel , was it?"
John shakes his head. "I don't know."
Kim storms into view, making her way to the pass-through from the living room side. She sets the rifle down on the counter, catching John's eye with a glare. John hurries to explain himself, as if he could possibly apologize for bringing the cult back to her doorstep.
"I was checking for foxes," he tells her, "I didn't think it — if I'd known what it was, I wouldn't have gone on my own."
Despite the fury in her eyes and the hard edge to her voice, Kim seems to mean it when she replies, "As long as nobody's hurt."
But the damage is done, and John can't help but babble on uselessly. "I wasn't looking in the right place. But I shouted as soon as I saw it. I just — couldn't outrun it. I wasn't fast enough. And I wasn't — it was stronger than I expected, stronger than..." Even he can hear the panic edging into his voice, cutting himself off with one last worried question. "Do you think it's gone?"
"It better be, if it knows what's good for it," Kim replies. "Are you sure you're okay?"
At any other time, John would be irritated to have to reassure every single Rye individually that he isn't in the throes of a panic attack. Right now, he's only grateful to realize that Kim doesn't blame him for the thing's appearance.
"I am," he says. "Thank you."
Nick groans, covering his eyes with one hand as he leans against the counter. "So much for it being safe to go out alone. Damn it, we got too comfortable."
" I got too comfortable," John says. "It wouldn't have cared about either of you."
"What about the chickens?" Carmina asks, "Are they safe there?"
Kim crosses her arms. "What I want to know is what the hell the Project is doing out here."
Her question is the only one John has any insight into, although he doesn't know how realistic his theory is. "They might be hunting deer," he says. "The only thing I saw, other than — than that , were deer tracks."
"All the way out here?" Kim asks skeptically.
"The hunting can't be any good in that swamp they're hiding in," Nick points out, frowning as he considers the idea. "And there are more survivors around the river these days. I'd bet that'd make for slim pickings."
"I doubt we'd even know they come out this far if I hadn't been the one out there. At least we've confirmed they're actively searching for resources beyond their compound — and they're relying on traditional methods to do so. Most likely because the armory was destroyed."
"Thank God for the Deputy," Nick sighs. "Okay. We're just gonna have to... I dunno, be willing to shoot, I guess." He doesn't sound so sure about it, and he quickly softens the intention. "At least a couple more warning shots. Once they remember guns outstrip arrows every way but sustainability, they'll probably keep back."
"We can push the fence-line out, too," Kim says. "It won't necessarily stop them, but at least it'll give them a line to cross. They're not cavemen — they remember property laws and how those get enforced around here."
"We'll have to start checking the traps more often. They might be living like bloodthirsty Mennonites right now, but that doesn't mean they aren't willing to steal to survive."
"They'll justify it one way or another," John sighs.
"So I guess we don't have to move the chickens after all," Nick says, "So long as we establish a perimeter. Sound good, Carmina?"
Carmina must have slipped out at some point during the conversation because she's nowhere to be found in the kitchen. Nick glances over John's head and out the window, swearing loudly.
"What the hell is she doing out there?"
John gets to his feet as Nick and Kim take off. He watches them through the window as they chase after Carmina, who's stopped to look around partway towards the coop. Either she's dumber than she seems, or she's inherited both of her parents' reckless streaks. Either way, she's going to leave herself open the same way John had. She's too confident that nobody wants to hurt her. The only way John knows how to teach that lesson, though, is not one that Kim or Nick would approve of — and so he sidelines his worries in favor of sticking with whoever is more armed than he is.
By the time John comes outside, Kim is knee-deep in the middle of a heated lecture about safety and responsibility. Carmina scowls at her feet, her face turning red as she's scolded. John ignores them, passing them by in favor of catching up with Nick, who's come to a stop a few yards past the coop. He's staring out into the unoccupied land — land that used to be his property, once. Now Nick is as much a stranger here as John is.
"Check it out," Nick says, holding out a thin, white-barked piece of wood. John takes it and recognizes it immediately as part of the mask he'd broken in two. The hole for the eye is a roughly cut gouge in the soft wood, and the bark flakes as he wipes his thumb across it.
"I hadn't even considered a mask," John admits. "I thought it was a monster."
"You and me both," Nick replies. He heaves a sigh. "Still waiting for the mutants to crawl out of the sewers, I guess. But I think we can handle a couple of jackasses with arrows."
John squints across the clearing, as if maybe his assailant has hung around waiting for them to reappear. "Next time, it might be Joseph," he points out grimly. "That hunter recognized me immediately. They'll tell him I'm here, and he'll want to find me."
"Come on. Like Joseph's gonna risk crossing enemy territory on foot. I'd be more worried about those goddamn hunting parties you used to send out."
John unconsciously reaches up to rub his throat. "Yeah," he says. "You're right. One of them clearly wasn't enough, but if Joseph decides I'm worthwhile, they'll come as a pack. If he's still manufacturing Bliss somehow, it would be easy to subdue me. And then..."
He's surprised out of his would-be reverie as Nick slaps his shoulder with a heavy hand. "We're not gonna let that happen," he says. "As long as you put up the same fight you did today, Kim and I are gonna come running."
Despite the reality of hidden archers and surprise ambushes, John allows himself to be reassured by the sentiment. At the very least, he pretends for Nick's sake. "I suppose you two were quick to the rescue," he drawls. "But if they get me to the tree-line, I'd rather you just put me down before I get dragged all the way back to the compound."
Nick chuckles. "We'll try to avoid that for now."
Looking over his shoulder, John catches Kim crouched down in front of Carmina, hands on her shoulders. Whatever she's saying, it's too quiet for John to hear, but Carmina's sniffles are a loud precursor to a lot of tears.
"I guess she believed you when you said the Project wouldn't care about us," Nick sighs. "At this rate, we're gonna have to put a bell on her."
"I could tell her about the child soldiers from the summer camp, if that would prove the gravity of the situation."
Just the mention of it makes Nick look a little queasy, and John immediately regrets bringing it up. "I don't want to scare her that badly," Nick says. "She's a good kid, she means well. She just needs to stop going off half-cocked, is all." He rubs his hand across his forehead and complains, "I thought we taught her to be smarter than this."
"She's still your kid," John says. Nick gives him a sour look, but it's the truth no matter how bitter Nick might feel about it. "You can't expect her to be utterly obedient, given her genetics."
"I guess ." He sighs, shaking his head. "At any rate, it's time we stop sugar-coating the cult for her benefit. She's obviously not taking it seriously."
John looks again and sees Kim embracing Carmina tightly. He can't help but worry about what might happen if the hunters come back. When he'd been with the Project, he'd understood Joseph's motivations — at least superficially — but now he's completely in the dark. They used to fill their ranks with abducted children and their desperate parents. He has no idea if Joseph is in a position to expand his flock, but if he is... John does not doubt that they'll start with the young and impressionable. Carmina, being young but not as impressionable as they'd like, probably wouldn't make it back to the compound before she got herself killed. He can't imagine anyone having enough patience to break her.
"You... uh, think we should be worried?" Nick asks after a brief stretch of silence.
"Not yet," John replies grimly. After all, the Ryes have a bargaining chip like no other, in case their daughter is ever taken. John can see to it that she's left alone, but it will only work once — and after that, who knows which brother will be sending hunters after her.
"Good thing we got ourselves a couple of extra guns," Nick says. "You and her are gonna have to start carrying pretty much everywhere."
"I'm sure people will love that."
"Fuck people, man, did you see the size of that fucking guy?"
John can't help a wry smile. "They weren't so big. If I were a couple of years younger, I would have taken them."
"Yeah, sure. "
The lecture must be over with for now, as Carmina's attention has turned back to her chickens. Kim watches her from a distance; John can't read her expression from here, but her posture is tense and defensive. John can't blame her — he doesn't have a parental bone in his body, but the stress of raising a child in these conditions isn't lost on him. Trying to instill a sense of fear into somebody who lived their formative years without a threat in sight can't be easy. Doubly so, considering Carmina can no doubt outgun the rudimentary weaponry the Project is utilizing. Hell, maybe they really are only a threat to him. Maybe it doesn't matter if Carmina sneaks out of the house.
"She won't leave unnoticed again," John decides, because it's the only promise he can genuinely keep.
"Oh yeah? You're gonna eat those words when she's a teenager."
"I'd hope she would be smart enough to bring back up by then."
"Me too." Nick exhales loudly enough to get Kim's attention, stretching one arm over his chest, then the other. "Well, I guess we better get started if we want to have anything to show for it by nightfall."
Even so, it takes Nick another moment before he brings himself to move. John lingers behind, unable to help himself as he eyes the trees distrustfully. There's nothing saying that hunter isn't still out there, watching them from a safe distance. If Jacob had a hand in training them, it's unlikely that John will ever see them coming again. He's likely lost the one chance at a level playing field, and he hadn't even realized it was something he could lose.
Fuck it. It doesn't matter. John has adapted time and again to every disaster in his life, and there's something to be said for the person who he's become. If this is the next catastrophe that he'll have to weather, then so be it. If he isn't capable of dealing with Joseph by now, then it's likely he never will be — and if that turns out to be the case, he can only hope that Kim is as quick on the trigger as she seemed to be today.
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tbhwhocaresanymore · 4 years
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Nancy Drew 1x16
Oh my God you guys it has been so long since I have been able to watch a show that is so well written that has clearly been planned out from the beginning where the viewers have been able to theorize and have it pay off and Jesus Christ it is GLORIOUS. If I ever write for a show I would want to work with these writers on a show like this.
Before anything else let me start off gloating that I started calling Nancy as Lucy and Ryan’s daughter back around episode 9 or 10 and I am so fucking vindicated right now, I have been riding an otherwise unattainable high nonstop for the past three days. @kat--writes is this how you feel when you accurately predict things??? Because it feels AMAZING.
For the rest of the episode first can I just say how horribly tragic Lucy Sable is? Kudos to the writers because it was a stunning plot twist that I never saw coming but for some reason it’s almost worse than a murder to me? If for no other reason than how it has affected and will continue to affect everyone around her. Ryan who is now going to be even more guilt ridden about not getting to the ice cream parlor on time, Karen and Josh trying to avenge a murder that never even happened, Tiffany Hudson who died for nothing, Nancy who will be forever wondering if her mother slipped and fell or if she really did kill herself right after Nancy was born because if anything will give you an abandonment complex it’s that.
And hearing Carson say what happened that night with Lucy (PHENOMENAL acting by the way, maybe best scene of the season so far) makes rewatching the earlier episodes, especially 7/8 where Nancy was accusing Carson of murdering Lucy so much more tragic. This girl who he and his wife clearly cared for and felt sympathy for, begging him with her last words to take care of her daughter, knowing he looked away for less than two seconds and probably spending weeks if not months if not years questioning if he’d just looked up a half a second sooner if maybe Lucy would still be alive. Seeing Lucy’s daughter, his daughter, accuse him of murdering Lucy had to be a gut punch and it gives his character so much more depth. I just hope this doesn't put too much of a strain on his relationship with Nancy because they have finally gotten to such a good place and as far as Carson is concerned Nancy is his daughter, and he wasn’t trying to lie to her about Lucy. All he was trying to do was respect Lucy’s dying wish and protect her from the Hudsons. I mean he was willing to go to prison for murder before admitting what happened on the bluffs that night, that should count for something.
Moving away from the Shakespearean levels of tragedy for a moment.
God I fucking KNEW Owen was shady I have known it since the beginning. Granted I do not have absolute confirmation yet BUT: him being in his car outside the Claw when he said he would be out of town, holding a piece of Lucy Sable’s skull? (As far as the skull goes though, loved that bit of Bess/George/Nick teamwork to casually hide it from the cops.) Creepy bastard, thy name is Owen. I have no idea how it will play out yet but I hope to God that it will. But also that is going to be a bit of a blow to Bess, finding out her cousin is whatever he is, and also Nancy who literally just had sex with him.
Speaking of.
Much as it pains me to admit, the writers are clearly taking several steps away from Nancy x Nick for the moment, probably to give Nick x George a fighting chance. Side question. Why is Nick sleeping on a couch when he has over four and a half million dollars? Like he could afford to build a house with that much money. But I digress. I think it will be good for George to have a love interest who is A her own age and B not married, especially someone who she already had a good friendship with. Maybe since Owen is a Confirmed Shady Motherfucker the writers will either keep Nancy single for awhile or pair her up with Ace because their chemistry is off the charts. And as long as we’re on the romance topic, Bess. BESS. My sweet queer daughter. Where are Lisbeth and Amaya? Last time we saw Lisbeth they admitted they were kind of falling in love and slept with each other, last (and first) time we saw Amaya I fell in love and she and Bess had more chemistry than a high school sophomore. GIVE ME MY ON SCREEN BESS ROMANCE DRAMA WRITERS. And am I the only one who finds it a little bit weird that Bess is apparently so good at other people’s relationships when she has never really had one before?
I’m going to take a quick minute to be sad about Nancy x Nick so if you don’t like that you can skip this paragraph. NED NICKERSON. How the FUCK can you be so totally fine with Nancy sleeping with Owen when you two are clearly soulmates and you never liked him anyway? After the inevitable Owen betrayal possibly one of two things will happen with Nancy. She will regress and start to push people (read: love interests) even further away than before, OR she will finally really start to open up to Nick and they will find their way back to each other. Admittedly the second one is unlikely since Nick and George literally just got together but you never know. Just as long as Nick doesn’t cheat on George with Nancy because those two are finally friends and are really good friends to boot, and also George deserves way better especially post Ryan Hudson affair debacle. Maybe she and Nancy can bond over having shady not good for them older boyfriends.
On the topic of Ryan being Nancy’s biological dad every time George complains about Nancy asking favors I want her response to be “you had sex with my dad” every time.
Now we will talk about the promo for the as of now untitled next episode and also what the rest of the season and possibly season 2 have planned.
In episode 17 Ryan will clearly be Going Through Some Stuff, and will also find out that Lucy was pregnant. Whether he realizes she had the baby or thinks it died with her remains to be determined, but that shot of Nancy with a busted lip and her hair cut off in a car being driven by Ryan makes me think maybe he snaps and kidnaps her? It’s a bit of a stretch but it would certainly be interesting. I think we’re also going to see more of the Aglaeca coming after Nancy for not paying the toll, because for a minute we can see Nancy sort of choking and putting her hand to her throat like she’s about to throw up again. Maybe it’s going to keep coming after Nancy until they finally let the Aglaeca have Owen, or maybe its going to try to kill Nancy as punishment for saving Owen. I don’t know but I can’t wait to find out.
For the rest of the season/next season there are a couple threads not related to Ryan finding out Nancy is his daughter. There’s the new detective but I’m not talking about him. Joshua Dude, Lucy’s brother. He is still out and about wherever he is, and does not know his sister killed herself. This will probably not exonerate Ryan in his mind as Ryan’s family is part of what drove Lucy to suicide. Maybe he will come back and decide to sort of take revenge on A the Hudsons or B the town of Horseshoe Bay as revenge for what they did to Lucy. (Sort of like the Black Hood from Riverdale but you know, well done.) There is also Everett Hudson. Last time I checked he had just been arrested for sinking the Bonny Scot and racketeering and insurance fraud and stuff, what the hell is he doing at a yacht club? I can only assume he got out on bail so maybe we will see Nancy (possibly together with Ryan) work to put him behind bars for good. Maybe Carson Drew will finally leverage some of that dirty laundry he has on the Hudsons, or better yet that Grecian urn thing Ryan has will finally be put to good use. And then in the future although there is zero proof of this I still want A for George to become clairvoyant/psychic like her mother and B for George and Bess to be cousins. I don’t think I’m asking for too much here.
Finally, because of how much of a staple character he is in the books I refuse to accept that Chief McGinnis is gone for good. My very being rebels against it. But before you scream at me about how different the show is from the books (those two or three of you who have read the books anyway) even if he were an original character I would want him to stay. He is a fantastic character, he was just starting to get depth, I adore his relationship with Ace and on top of everything else he’s good Native American representation.
I ALSO WANT VICTORIA TO COME BACK. I HAVE NOT SEEN HER SINCE 2019. WTF WRITERS. YOU CAN’T JUST MAKE ME FALL IN LOVE WITH A DYSFUNCTIONAL PSYCHIC ALCOHOLIC MOTHER LIKE THAT AND THEN ONLY PUT HER IN TWO EPISODES.
Dead Lucy should also continue to stick around, maybe she can teach Nancy how to hang from ceilings or they can bond over how much Everett Hudson Sucks. It’s just that Lucy spent all this time trying to show Nancy that she is her biological mother, and for her to move on after sticking around for 20 years right after Nancy learns the truth? It would be too - and I fully recognize I have used this word too many times but I am going to use it again - tragic.
The wait for April 8 is going to be an agony unlike any other but at least after it comes back there will only be six episodes left, and so it is very unlikely the show will go on another hiatus before the season is up. Let me know what you guys think will happen in season 2/the rest of season 1.
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quwarichi · 4 years
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My reactions+summaries for SPN S5-15 PT.3:
Supernatural Episodes (that were memorable to me):
Currently: S15E20
[Disclaimer: these were written as I was watching each episode for the first time. It’s literally my brain vomit. Let it be known that I watched the series from season 1 but only around season 5 it occured to me that I might want to remember some episodes, so this was created. I am a pretty big destiel shipper, but it only shows here when I absolutely can’t contain myself. You can enjoy my reactions without shipping them. HAVE AT IT]
Seasons 14-15:
S14:     
S14E01: Hey look Dean has a funny hat now. Haha. And that's the only thing different. Oh wait where did the plaid go? Guess he burned his clothes in an accident and changed into something nearby. Alright. OH WAIT WHERE DID DEAN GO. Sam is tired. Jack is learning how to fight from Bobby. Good on him. Castiel is suffering. A demon knows more about Destiel than Cas does *wink wink* Bless that demon. Give him a raise for the wonderful words he said. Praise. Scratch that he just started a demon gang fight against Cas fuck them up good Cas don't leave survivors. Stop beating Castiel up you know he's taking it easy on you otherwise all of you would be fried chickens. "Sister Jo" is back in business. [Side note: Jensen and Daneel shooting this scene together had me dying the writers did that on purpose]. Michael visits Anael. Jack is sad. Cas is hurt. Lucifer is alive. Oh wait it's Nick. Why is Nick. How is Nick. Nick is pretty understanding and nice. Nick. Hm. The demons got Cas how dare they you fuckers, you motherfuckers I WiLL rAiN hElL FiRE UPoN yOu. Sam is sad and missing Dean. Mary is too. Sam should have hidden the knife in his hair. Cas is embarrassed. Jack gets caught. The demon wants to replace Crowley. How dare he. Awesome action scene. Keep expecting Dean to show up and beat someone up. Cas and Sam miss Dean. Cas and Jack talk about losing their powers. Sam misses Dean. Michael helps monsters now?
S14E02: Hey look Michael's a dick who knew. Srsly fuck him. Cas can't help and is sad. He is also a babysitter to Satan's former vessel and Satan's child. Is Jack Nick's sort-of son or is that taking it too far? Questions for later. Lucifer is now the Supreme Agent of Evil. Cas is sassy. Jack is adorable and needs hugs. Cas is trying to be nice to Nick. Nick is suffering. Castiel feels different. He feels like he matured and grown a lot. Like he's more at peace with himself. He says that when he Fell he still had Sam and Dean which is so adorable. Cas gives Jack a beautiful talk. Michael is wearing a tux, which looks great on Dean but horrible on him. Dean yells at him to get out. Nick is sad and still has Lucifer instincts. Nick is sadder now. He wants his family back. Cas is amazing in this episode. Kudos, truly. He just admits he understands Nick's situation because he occupies Jimmy's vessel. Woah. Nick just said Castiel is a body-snatcher and he's no different than Lucifer. How dare he. How DARE YOU. CASTIEL HAS BEEN NOTHING BUT KIND TO YOU. HE TRIED TO BE CALM. HE TRIED EXPLAINING AND SYMPATHIZES WITH YOU AND YOU GO AND CALL HIM THAT. WHY. JUST... WHY??? CAS STILL FEELS AWFUL FOR WHAT HAPPENED TO JIMMY AND HIS FAMILY. HE NEVER WANTED THAT. FUCK YOU NICK. GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER. Jack went to visit his grandparents can he get any more adorable I mean OH MY CHUCK LOOK AT HIM. He tells them Kelly had a baby boy and they're so HAPPY HIJFKDHDUHEJDUDH. Jack dear I know you just met your family and you're emotional but saying Dean doesn't matter is like a death sentence in the fandom so tread lightly. Nick is channeling his inner Lucifer. Dean is BACK BABY.
S14E03: Dean doesn't NOT like Sam's beard. Jack, Cas, and Dean reunite. Jack likes Disney confirmed. A girl asked Jack if Cas is his dad and he says Cas is one of his dads OMG OMG OMG. Jack is heartbroken he couldn't help the girl and Cas feels awful for him. Honestly Cas has been through so much lately and he didn't even get the chance to hug Dean when he came back. Jack saved Lora. Cas apologies to Jack. Bless Cas. He's a freaking Angel. Cas is so freaking adorable and he's such a dad for Jack and they're like hey dad hey son and omg omg omg gaaaaaaaaah they're adorable. He's making Jack SOUP. FREAKING SOUP. Something's wrong with Jack why are you coughing blood no no no no no bad blood.
S14E04: Dean likes horror movies now. Sam's beard is gone. Dean's inner fanboy is coming out. It's one of these episodes. Sam is so excited. Dean is fangirling. DEAN IS IN GLASSES PART 3 OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. Fortnight has unfortunately bled into the Supernatural universe and we have to live with that fact now. Dean is, fortunately, a Zelda fan so we're good on that front. Sam is a nerd. Dean is concerned. Sam meets his female counterpart. Sam has trauma from Halloween. Dean wants to have Halloween with Sam so badly awwwww.
S14E05: Dean and Sam run into Bobby and Mary. Sam is nervous about talking to his mom about her dating life. Bobby and Mary are sort of a thing now and Dean is okay with that. He just wants his mom to be happy.
S14E06: Sam and Charlie are very awkward. Hooray. Jack is suffering because his coffee doesn't taste right. Sam looks so happy playing with a fidgetspiner. Jack and Dean are being Hunting Buddies ™. Jack just learned what courting before dating before sex is and Dean is not happy or comfortable about that conversation. Other Dimension Charlie had a love of her life but she died. Jack asks Dean about courting over pie and it's adorable. Dean says that when they get back to the bunker he'll give Jack the talk. Hooray! Jack and Dean play the "bad cop, hero saves the damsel" plan and it works fantastic. Jack calls Dean old and Dean looks so offended it actually hurt him OMG. Some girl has a crush on Jack now. Jack is very confused. Hunter!Jack is very awkward and adorable. Is Jack on a date? I think he's on a date. Is he even allowed to go on dates yet? Dean didn't give him the talk. Hm. What would Cas think? And Sam, Sam would be very confused about it too. Hm. Definitely sensing some romance in the air. Approving of that. Oh BOI SOMETHING IS ABOUT TO GO DOWN. Oh wait of course not Jack was raised by Cas who are we fooling of course he wanted to use the bathroom. Dean calls Jack and he's like "Hey so I'm pretty sure she's in love with me so tell me everything you know about sex. Go!" Dean is not having ANY OF THAT BS RN. Vans? Vans! Vans. Dear lord Jack should get an acting award *ba-dum-tss*. Dean be giving out relationship advice like he's some sort of expert when in reality his emotions are so constipated he needs to swallow Dulcolax to communicate with others. Jack has a crazy fan now. He follows in Sam's footsteps and got himself a Becky. Congrats? Jack is coughing again. And now he's bleeding from his nose. No. Nope. Not happening. Denial, ACTIVATE!
 S14E07: So... Nick is slowly losing it. Or very quickly losing it. Depends on how you look at it. Cas is watching over Jack and tries healing him. Jack is really bad shape. They take him to a hospital. Cas does NOT have time for bureaucracy. Three worried fathers watch as their kid suffers and it HURTTS. Jack's body is shutting down and they're suffering. Cas just gave Jack his trenchcoat so now we have a trenchcoatless Cas and a trenchcoated Jack. Rowena is BACK BABY. Jack meets Rowena. Cas is so ready to give his grace for Jack. Dean is taking Jack on a fun day. He's teaching Jack how to drive awwwww. Dean and Jack are awesome. Cas feels helpless. Cas calls Jack Sam, Dean, and his' son OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG I'M HAVING A FUCKING SEIZURE. Jack and Dean are eating burgers on the impala and have fun. Meanwhile Nick is on hunt for his family's killer, being as adorable and questionable as ever. DEAN AND JACK ARE F***CKING FISHING. Jack wanted to go fishing because Dean said he went fishing with John and it was a happy memory for him and Jack considers Dean a father figure GAAAAAH IT HURTSSS. WHY IS JACK SO AT PEACE WITH DYING LIKE WHAT THE FRICK NOOOOO. AND WHY IS CAS DRIVING A TINY BLUE CAR WHO GAVE HIM PERMISSION TO BE ADORABLE. Do you ever wonder how many times a week Castiel thinks about the story Gabriel wrote on the walls of his bunker room about his time in Monte Carlo with the porn stars? He read the entire story, just summarised it for Sam. So he KNOWS everything. Things to wonder about. Nick is channeling his Lucifer or Lucifer is channeling his Nick they are one it's scary. Jack is being healed? Is he healed? He's HEALED. Jack is BACK BABY!!! Cas and Dean look so relieved. Wait why is he staggering. Why is he coughing. Cas is so pissed at the Shaman. CAS IS A PISSED OFF FATHER. CAS IS AMAZING. FREAKING DAD CAS FOR THE RESCUE. It feels like this is a setup for Lucifer to come back. Not sure how to feel about that. Um. Ummmm... Empty do your freaking job and keep him asleep. JACK IS DYING FREAKING KILL ME WHYYYY.
S14E08: Jack doesn't want them to be sad. Dean is not okay. None of them are okay. Cas is also worried about Dean. Jack is being optimistic about things and it hurts. WHAT. WHAT. HE CAN'T DIE. NO. NOOO. DEAN DIDN'T GET TO SAY GOODBYE YOU MOTHERFUCKERS NOOOO. CAS IS IN SO MUCH PAIN BUT HE'S STILL WORRYING ABOUT SAM AND DEAN OH MY GOD WHYYYYY. CAS WANTED JACK TO DIE A LONG TIME AFTER HIM. THEY'RE GETTING DRUNK TOGETHER TO DULL THE PAIN WOW THIS IS HURTING HAHAHA I'M NOT CRYING FUCK YOU MY EYES ARE LEAKING. THEY'RE EATING NOUGAT BARS THAT JACK LIKED. CAS DOESN'T EVEN EAT FOOD IT TASTE LIKE MOLECULES TO HIM. Jack is in Heaven but Empty is slowly taking over Heaven. Jack meets Kelly in Heaven. Kelly is so happy to see him until she realized he died. Anubis is an odd fellow. Cas is so happy seeing Cas again. And Kelly too. Empty has invaded Jack and Kelly's Heaven. Shit is about to go DOWN. Dean and Sam consider Jack their child. EMPTY IS HURTING CAS AND KELLY WHILE JACK IS WATCHING. CAS SAVE JACK. WAIT NO NOT LIKE THAT. DON'T YOU DARE. I WILL FUCKING END YOU EMPTY YOU SON OF A THING. CASTIEL HOW COULD YOU. Cas doesn't want Sam and Dean to worry. He says he's in peace with his decision. IN PEACE MY ASSBUTT! LISTEN HERE YOU EMOTIONALLY INCAPABLE ANGEL, YOU HAVE DONE MORE THAN ENOUGH FOR THE WHOLE EARTH. YOU SACRIFICED FROM YOURSELF THINGS OTHERS WOULDN'T EVEN BEGIN TO IMAGINE. YOU GAVE UP HEAVEN FOR SAM AND DEAN. YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY AND THEN YOU MAKE A DEAL THAT THE SECOND YOU'RE HAPPY YOU'LL DIE??? ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE??? In other news Jack and Kelly hugged and it was beautiful. Jack promises not to tell Sam and Dean about what Cas did. Jack is BACK BABY. Dean hugged Jack. Get the fuck away from Cas you Naomi Bitch. Jack is happy to eat burgers again. Is Jack wearing Dean's robe?
S14E09: Is this a Christmas episode? Why, I think it is. Hey look Michael is a woman now. Wait Garth NoooOOooo you can't do it. Oh wow he has a little girl now. Jack is guiltily eating cereal in the middle of the night and Cas catches him. Sam is apparently acting like a mom. Wow. Cas is being a sassy angel. Castiel likes the toys that come in the cereal box. OMG why are Jack and Cas so cute. Cas is happy Dean is feeling better but he feels guilty about lying to him about the deal. Jack is happy he can pick a lock now. HELP THEY KIDNAPPED JACK. FUCK YOU MICHAEL. Awww they're going on a family hunting trip! Team Free Will 2.0 VS Kansas City. Awww. *The hellish version of a Christmas song plays in the background*. JACK IS FUCKING SMILING. Okay so Michael I'm gonna need you to get out of Dean you sick son of a Chuck. 'Freaking ruined the Christmas episode.
S14E10: Awww they brought Pamela back! Also Dean owns a bar and he likes to flirt. He looks so happy owning a bar. Michael is sassy, and it's almost likeable. Probably because it's Dean's face. Michael is trying to get underneath Cas' skin and Cas looks so done with it. One of Dean's happy memories is the stripper case with Sam. FUCK MICHAEL. FUCK HIM SO HARD. HOW DARE HE. HE JUST SAID DEAN ONLY TOLERATES CAS BECAUSE HE FEELS LIKE HE OWES HIM FOR HELL AND CAS HASN'T DONE ANYTHING FOR DEAN EVER SINCE. *Cue epic fight scene* Hey look Dean is a cage now. Cas is so worried about Jack's soul.
S14E11: Dean is acting suspiciously. Sam's aware he and Dean only hug if it's of the world I'm dyinggg. Sam likes gossiping apparently. Dean came to visit Mary awww. Dean is now a welding master. Well now Nick is being arrested by Donna and now Donna might be about to die and NOPE. Dean is being really sweet and it's freaking everyone out. Mary thinks Dean's adorable when he's sleeping. Nick is being creepy and kidnapping Mary. Nick without Lucifer is unlikeable at best. Mary keeps a severed head in a jar. Dean tells Sam he loves him.  He shows Sam a box he plans on being buried alive in the ocean with Michael inside of it and yeah so that's not happening.
S14E12: Dean has a nightmare about being stuck in his coffin forever. Sam calls Cas. Dean says he knows he wasn't the greatest brother for Sam and Sam has this 'WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL' look on his face because that is some grade A+ bullshit right there. Cas gets a call from Dean and he's so excited because he thinks Dean is giving up his plan but Dean tells him he's not so Cas is sad. Cas is so pissed at Dean. Dean and Cas have an argument/goodbye. Dean and Sam argue. It hurts. It hurts so much. He punched Dean and then he hugged him. He tells Sam and Cas he believes in them. In all of them. Oh well I guess that if Dean gets trapped in a box at least Cas will never be taken by the Empty since he'll never be happy HAHAHAHA KILL ME NOW.
S14E13: This episode is about the city the bunker's in OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. Someone stole Baby. There's a kid who thinks they're serial killers, which they are, but not exactly. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. JOHN??? OF ALL THE PEOPLE, JOHN? WAS THAT EVEN AN OPTION??? WHAT THE FUCK???!!! MARY AND JOHN FINALLY SEE EACH OTHER AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. And  Sam and Dean witness it. Sam is very awkward with John. Oh wow. So, they pulled John out of 2003 and it has changed history and now Sam likes raw food and standing desks and runs a law firm and Dean is a murderer and thief with a price on his head. Hm. Zach and Cas are reunited as bad angels no no no no THIS IS BAD. OH WELL AT LEAST CAS DOESN'T UNDERSTAND POP CULTURE REFERENCES ANYMORE. BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOO. Cas is a killer now NoooOOooo. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Cas doesn't recognize Dean and Sam as his friends. Cas is beating up Dean and Sam. Noooo. This is weird. No. Nope. Not happening. Cue the awkwardness of a family dinner. When you remember that everyone at that table died at least once it's very very weird. A family who defied Death, God, the Darkness, Demons, Angels, Monsters, and a few nasty humans here and there. Wow. Dean actually has some self-love speech and it is amazing. The character development is just *chef's kiss*. Why is this so beautiful Sam stop crying you know it makes Dean cry and when Dean cries I cry stopp it.
S14E14: Family hunting trip time! Oh look Rowena is also there! Rowena has some sort of attraction to Cas and it's chilling. Cas and Dean are on some sort of a coffee date. Jack is coughing blood again. Someone stop it. Cas is worried about Dean. Dean is only honest with Cas awwwwwww. Cas asks Jack if he's fine. Cas worries about everyone but when will someone worry about Cas? Jack, Cas, and Dean look like two parents and a child. Jack asks what an AV club is and Cas explains and then Dean calls Cas a dork. They're adorable. Cas is a VERY serious FBI agent. Rowena and Sam need to act like a married couple and it's AMAZING. MORE. GIVE THE FANDOM MORE. Jack has suffered at the vet's office. The Gorgon is hitting on Cas. Wait till Dean hears about that. Cas has been paralyzed. Cas is worried about Dean. That's strike 2. Another moment of Cas being worried and someone is about to die. Cas explains to Jack about the fragility of humans and death and moving on which makes you believe he thought about a time when Dean and Sam die and he's left all alone and now I want to walk off a cliff. Michael is out. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. JACK CALLED HIMSELF A WINCHESTER OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. Jack got his wings back!
S14E15: Jack is playing with his snake. Cas is worried about Jack. Dean is eating. Cas and Sam go on a case together [Poor Misha. Jared must've tortured him]. Cas with his pop culture references. The only thing good about episode 13 aside from some closure for the boys is that Cas lost his knowledge of pop culture. Cas sometimes looks at the Saturday Evening Post when Sam and Dean are asleep. They're very soothing. Sam and Cas walked into a town that seems stuck in the late ‘70s. Even Cas thinks it's weird. Sam looks happy drinking a milkshake. Cas pretends to drink cuz he doesn't eat. Cas has no social skills. Jack is trying to feed the snake. Dean likes bacon. Some woman checked Cas out. Cas reads a series of love letters between the victim and a milkshake serving a young woman. Cas is so done with people hitting on him. How Cas describes Sam "I'm looking for my partner. Tall man. Hair? He has beautiful hair." FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. SAM BECAME A PART OF THE WEIRD TOWN FUCK FUCK FUCK. HE'S WEARING GLASSES THIS IS FUCKING WEIRD. CAS IS SO SCARED AND CONFUSED. SOMEONE SAVE HIM AND SAM. Dean is terrified of the snake. Cas is angry. Cas is worried and understanding about how Sam feels. CAS JUST FUCKING TOLD A MAN HE'S NOT GOD BECAUSE GOD HAS A BEARD.
S14E16: JACK IS ADORABLE STAB ME IN THE GUT AND TWIST IT WHY IS HE SO ADORABLE. Jack is so awkward around other people. OMG WHY ARE YOU SO CUTE WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT YOU FREAKING LOVEABLE DORK. JACK IS LIKE "WELL I'M TWO-TWENTY! I'M TWENTY-TWO!!!" Jack is so freaking happy hanging out with kids his "age". Oh no he's sad.
S14E17: There was supposed to be a family game night. Cas is meeting up with Anael [The fact that this is Daneel and Misha on the same set is amazing]. Nick is back and off his rocket. Anael and Cas discuss God. Jack is going dark side. Woops. Jack sweetheart you're worrying me. Jack what did you do. Jack?
S14E18: Jack what did you do to Mary. What did you do. This is very scary. Oh wait he KILLED HER. WOW. OKAY. HOW THE HELL DO YOU FIX THAT SHIT. DEAN WILL NEVER FORGIVE HIM. SAM TOO. DEAN MIGHT TRY TO KILL HIM BUT THEN SAM WILL STOP HIM AND TELL JACK TO NEVER COME BACK AND CAS WOULD BE SO TORN BECAUSE HE PROMISED TO PROTECT JACK BUT HE KILLED MARY AND WOW THE WRITERS REALLY DUG DEEP WITH THIS ONE. Cas is remembering one of his first hunts with Mary. Did Dean just... Did he tell Cas that if Jack did something to Mary he's dead to him? I think he did. Huh. Welp, time to dig a hole in the ground, huddle into a fetus position and cry. Cas is not even mad. We are fine. Nothing is wrong. Oh wow what is this? A guilt trip down memory lane? Why are you hurting us by showing us all the nice missing moments between Mary and the rest? Is this fun for you you sadistic fucks? Jack needs a snickers. Mary is dead. Wow. Sam just stopped Cas from walking over to Dean. Wow.
S14E19: Dean gives a beautiful speech. Bobby is back. Cas is still protective of Cas. There's a lot of awkward silences between Dean and Cas. Made-up Lucifer is a dick. What do you mean Cas doesn't love Jack um hello? He gave away his chance at happiness for Jack. Fuck you Made-up Lucifer. Oh no. Dean is crying alone. Naomi Bitch Replacement is messing with Jack's head. Fuck her. A pillar of salt? Really?. Okay so Soulless Jack is horrible. I love him so much but he was already like a toddler playing with a bazooka. Now he's like a SADISTIC toddler playing with a bazooka with no soul. It really feels like Cas is the only one left with a sense of rationality. Cas is pissed at Sam and Dean for locking Jack up.
S14E20: So, Jack's pissed. Dean calls Jack a monster and I think why it bothered Castiel so much is because that would mean Castiel is a monster too. Chuck is BACK BABY AND OHHH BOI IS THIS A RIDE. Cas is so done. Dean smashes a guitar. Chuck and Dean yell at each other. Chuck is such a dork. Castiel is so pissed. Jack and Castiel reunite. Sam has a talk with Chuck. Chuck breaks the fourth wall. Dean is here to kill Jack. Cas doesn't want that. Dean and Jack are about to die. Jack is okay with that. Welp CHUCK IS HORRIBLE AND NOPE. DID CHUCK JUST KILL JACK. NO NO. CHUCK'S GONE DARK SIDE. No why is Jack dead. This isn't fair. 
S15:
S15E01: Cas does NOT like that a demon inside Jack's body. Chuck literally jump-started the apocalypse. Cas is not okay.
S15E02: You can't tell me that Cas telling Dean it wasn't all a lie isn't him telling Dean that what they have is real. WELCOME BACK KEVIN TRAN, ADVANCED PLACEMENT. Kevin is BACK BABY. God and Amara are being siblings. Rowena and Ketch together are very weird and Crowley will NOT approve.
S15E03: Rowena is awesome. Cas and the demon inside Jack are very... Iffy with each other. Belphegor is awesome. Cas literally just FUCKING PUSHED BELPHEGOR INTO HELL AND JUMPED AFTER HIM WITH A COMPLETE STRAIGHT FACE WOW HE IS SO DONE. Cas tells Belphegor that Jack is like a son to him. Cas is forced to sing a song to praise Lucifer. Shit is going down. Cas and Belphegor did NOT work out. Wait does that mean Cas will get stuck in hell. Oh fuck. Oh crap. This is bad. Why does Cas has to suffer so much? Whyyy. He never wanted anything special. Just to be with Jack, Sam, and Dean. He wanted to do good. Whyyyy. ROWENA NO. NOPE. NOPE. DON'T DO IT. SAM DOESN'T WANT TO. DON'T MAKE HIM. STOP IT. ROWENA NOOOO. ALSO CAS AND DEAN STOP FIGHTING IT'S BAD. UM, DEAN? IT'D BE GREATLY APPRECIATED IF YOU AND CAS WOULD STOP FIGHTING. IT'S SCARING THE CHILDREN AND MAKING THEM CRY. STOP IT. STOP IT. STOP IT! OH HEY I'M CRYING, WHAT A SURPRISE!
S15E04: Sam has a weird dream. Awesome fight scene though. Dean likes vegan bacon now. Or not. Wow Chuck might actually be afraid of Becky. Meeting Exes is awkward. CHUCK IS A DICK. BEING A WRITER DOESN'T MEAN YOU GET TO ABUSE OTHERS. FUCK YOU.
S15E05: Dean can't handle spicy jerky. Sam has bad dreams again. Um, Lilith's back? What? Is that a thing now? Wow.
S15E06: Cas is fishing now. He's also really sweet and cares about a guy who sells him fish bait. He also goes by Clearance like Meg used to call him, which is extra sweet. Cas is investigating stuff. Cas and Dean talk and Cas acts like a sassy toddler. Cas's powers are fading. Sam might have a small crush on the deaf hunter. Aww that's so nice. He saw she was naked so he turned away. Awww. What a gentleman. Dean raised you well. Dean doesn't know what's God and what's him.
S15E07: Sam and Eileen are definitely having fun, with margaritas and bacon. Dean refuses bacon, which leads us to believe he had truly given up on this world. Dean gets flirted with. Dean gets reunited with an old "friend". Sam and Eileen are AWKWARD AND DEAN IS TO BLAME BECAUSE HE'S THE ONE WHO TEASED SAM. OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE WATCHING TWO NERDS FALL IN LOVE WHAT THE HELL. IS THAT HOW SAM FEELS WHEN HE'S WATCHING DEAN AND CAS??? THAT'S TORTURE. WOW THEY ALMOST KISSED AND THEN CAS WALKED IN OMG IT IS LIKE SAM WITH DEAN AND CAS. Cas is so pissed with shamans. OMG OMG OMG DEAN IS ABOUT TO SING OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG WOW HE SINGS SO BEAUTIFULLY SOMEONE GET THAT MAN A CONTRACT HE'S SO HAPPY WHAT OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. Cas became grade A at threatening people. Kudos. Dean loves Texas now. Cas and Dean are awkward. Ever remember season 1 where they found out demons existed and felt like they were in over their heads? Well now they want to fight God.
S15E08: Sam is being an overprotective boyfriend. He's so cute. Oh my god... Are they getting Adam out of the cage??? Is this happening??? I know the last season is supposed to sort of give closure to unfinished plotlines but if this really happening it's amazing. Rowena is BACK BABY. Rowena is FUCKING awesome. A real queen, if you will. Crowley would be proud. She's also gives Cas and Dean a quick couple's counseling session. Adam is out of hell. It happened. Dean so ships Eileen and Sam. Dean and Cas are AWKWARD. Michael is back. Michael and Cas talk. Cas channels his inner Lucifer. Cas and Dean FINALLY talk. CHUCK YOU FUCKING DICK GET AWAY FROM EILEEN SAM WAS FINALLY STARTING TO BE HAPPY. OMG OMG DEAN AND CAS ARE GOING TO PURGATORY??? Dean and Adam talk.
S15E09: Wow Chuck is so manipulative. Wow. Chuck is really unlikeable anymore. Woah, did Cas just call Dean stupid? Cas has SNAPPED. So happy Sam has Eileen now. Any girl that can be tied to a chair, deaf, and still kick ass and sass God in front of him deserves a Sam Winchester. Wow Sassy Cas really ain't taking Dean's BS today. Chuck is a sadistic fuck. Chuck has lost it. God Complex much? Dean and Cas are in purgatory. Getting the band back together and it feels good. Benny died. That's sad. Dean and Cas discuss the guilt. OMG WHAT HAPPENS TO CAS IN THE FUTURE??? HE GOT THE MARK AND WENT CRAZY??? AND DEAN HAD TO BURY HIM IN THE BOX??? DON'T YOU DARE TELL ME THIS SHIT IS NOT CANON FANFICS CAN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP. HE LOOKS SO HEARTBROKEN. Meanwhile in Purgatory: Dean is looking for Cas who has disappeared and they need to go back soon and things are BAD with a capital everything. DEAN IS PRAYING TO CASTIEL OMG OMG OMG HE BARELY DID IT EVER SINCE PURGATORY ROUND 1. He admits he should've stopped Cas from leaving. He calls Cas his best friend AWWWWWWW. HE'S CRYING OH MY GOD. HE FORGAVE CAS!!! THIS IS SO CANON HDJCJRIHEISHS. OMG CAS IS OKAY AND THEY HUGGED DEAN LOOKS SO HAPPY FUCK THIS I'M CRYINGGGG. SAM AND DEAN BECAME MONSTERS??? FUCK THAT SHIT. CAS TAKES THE MARK OH NO I DON'T WANT HIM TO GO INSANE. Cas and Dean arrive at the casino. Save Sam!!! SAM, SAM WHAT ARE YOU DOING MAN? NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. AWWWW SAM AND EILEEN KISSED AWWW. NOW WE NEED A CAS AND DEAN KISS AND WE'RE GOLDEN GUYS. LET'S MAKE IT HAPPEN. I BELIEVE. Jack and Billy are BACK BABY.
S15E10: It seems like Sam and Dean lose luck. Baby shut down. Garth named his twins Sam... and Castiel. Dean is definitely not insulted. Garth is a dentist now. Dean is afraid of dentists. Dean has a dream where he and Garth are tap dancing in black and white. OH MY GOD GARTH WHAT DID YOU DO TO DEAN'S MOUTH. GARTH TOLD DEAN HE NEEDS TO GET A COLONOSCOPY AND I FREAKING DROPPED MY PHONE. CHUCK DOWNGRADED SAM AND DEAN TO NOT MAIN CHARACTERS AND NOW THEY HAVE TO DEAL WITH NORMAL PEOPLE PROBLEMS HAHAHAHHAHA THIS IS AWESOME. DEAN IS HOLDING BABY CASTIEL AND HE'S LIKE "THIS CAS KEEPS LOOKING AT ME WEIRD" AND SAM ANSWERS "SO KINDA LIKE THE REAL CAS" AND THEY KNOW. Also Sam and Dean are holding babies and it's adorable.
S15E11: Cas comes back to find out Sam and Dean are going to Alaska. Cas gets a call about Jack related info. Ahem... Jack is BACK BABY! Cas is worried about Jack. Jack is tied up. Cas to the rescue! CAS AND JACK REUNITE. This is like the most interesting pool game ever. Dean and Sam's luck is BACK BABY. JACK AND SAM AND DEAN REUNITE.
S15E12: Cas is so happy Jack is back. Dean and Cas are best buddies. Cas and Jack play 4-in-a-row. Cas and Jody meet for the first time. Jack wants to help. Cas still cares a lot about Claire. Billy is PISSED.
S15E13: The recap starts with the pizza man montage, which is really the only way it could. Ruby and Anael are BACK BABY AND WELL IT IS AWESOME. [Just pointing out that the fact they brought both of Jensen and Jared's wives for this is amazing] also Cas has no chill with his sass. Cas wants to almost die and go to Empty to talk to Ruby. He gets into the Empty and runs into Empty-Meg and she called him Clearance awwww. Ruby is BACK BABY. Cas almost dies by the Empty. He comes back though. Otherworld Sam and Dean are terrifying. They seem... Okay, and it's horrible. Also they're spoiled. HELLHOUNDS BABY! Jack arrives at Eden. Jack is crying + he got his soul back!!!
S15E14: Supernatural is BACK BABY. JACK IS STILL DEPRESSED NOOOO. DEAN HAS SCOOBY-DOO UNDERTHINGS PASS IT ON. Dean and Sam meet Mrs. Butters. She's nice and she made Christmas and Thanksgiving and the Fourth of July and Halloween collide in the calendar. Jack is out of his room now. Oh hey Dean's actually trying to not be angry at Jack. They have a monster radar! Lunch bag, she pack them lunch bags I-. Jack is still being sad noo. She keeps giving him smoothies. It's weird. OMG SAM IS GOING ON A DATE WITH EILEEN THEY REALLY SAID SAILEEN RIGHTS. Oh wait. Oh fuck what the fuck why is she ripping his head off oh no Jack run. Oh fuck why is she an evil mastermind all of a sudden they were happy. DEAN GETS TRAPPED TOO. DEAN BEING A REAL BROTHER BEING LIKE "YEAH I CAN WAIT UNTIL MY BROTHER IS DONE GETTING LAID FOR HIM TO COME BACK AND RESCUE ME AND OUR CO-ANGEL-CHILD". Dean is really trying with Jack my heart wow. Ugh not again with Sam and the nails the waves of nausea are hitting me-. Oh no Mrs. Butters story is really sad I don't like the old MoL. Oh goodbye Mrs. B we'll miss you. Awww Jack honey of course you can kill Chuck here I'll do it for you you just eat your nougat bars. OH MY FUCKING GOD DEAN MADE JACK A BIRTHDAY CAKE I REPEAT HE MADE JACK A BIRTHDAY CAKE JACK IS FOUR NOW CELEBRATE WITH US ALL *HYPERVENTILATING HARD*. 10/10 episode would recommend with a side of angst.
S15E15: Cas is BACK BABY! Aww Jack wants to wear matching ties. Awwwww. Sam and Dean are going after Amara. Good luck with that. Oh a church case for Cas? A little on the nose there. Oh wow this is getting dark. Aww Jack doesn't want to say something so Cas talks about himself instead. God I love them. Cas is amazing. I love him so much. Jack too. Meanwhile, Sam and Dean are eating with Amara lunch. Crossroads demons are out of fashion, as per told by Rowena, the Queen of us all. Jack needs Cas' permission to create a social media account. Even the internet knows to give Cas cats. God bless the internet. Oh my god Dean and Amara talked and wow it was deep. Amara's intentions with Mary were... Wow. Poor Dean though. Wow Cas and Jack can't catch a break. Oh god Jack was stabbed he's okay but we're not okay what the hell. Once again, we are reminded that against regular humans Cas is a freaking supernatural creature with super strength and the wrath of heaven. Hey wait why does the crossroad demon look like he’s kidnapping this girl? Oh well guess we'll never find out. JACK IS GOING TO DIE? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK BILLIE??? WHO AUTHORIZED THIS SHIT? HE NEEDS A PARENT OR A GUARDIAN'S PERMISSION!!! Cas not wanting to see Jack die again is hurting me. What do you mean it's not his choice Jack go to your room you're grounded until they kill Chuck. Cas um where are you going?? What do you mean in case you won't come back? Are you going where I think you're going? You better stay the FUCK away from the Empty or I swear to all that is sacred (the impala, Sam and Dean's flannel, Led Zeppelin) that I will cry. What do Sam and Dean need to know??? What is this shit????? I WILL SUE!!!!!
S15E16: Hey is he going to get killed? Called it! Hey Dean darling how about you let Sam know about Jack? Any minute now honey? No don't you fucking- Dean! Hey it's tiny Sam and Dean look at them awww. Hey Caitlin seems nice. Woah weird monster in the candy machine alert! Dean why are you so depressing this episode??? Sam being in the dark hurts me. Um Dean? What have you got there buddy? Is that a knife? Put the knife down, Dean put the knife down this isn't funny- oh thank god Sam Dean almost fillet-ed himself. Tiny Dean being scared but also macho aww. It's a Baba Yaga? A Baba FREAKIN Yaga? Wow. Omg Dean's face when he heard the woman having sex is priceless. He really grew up. Good on him. Caitlin you majestic being you managed to have Dean admit his fear wow Dean honey am I proud of you. Aww Sam is trying to call Cas. Um... Dean? OMG OMG ARE YOU TELLING HIM? YASSS SAMMY GO OFF. DEAN FUCK OFF JACK IS NOT DYING ON MY WATCH. OMG THE SILENCE. WOW.
S15E17: This starts with Amara. What a queen. I really like her now.  She can cut me with her cheekbones. Look at her. Wow. She's so pretty. Cas is there! Sam is giving Dean the silent treatment. Yeah Dean is talking depressing. AHHH AMARA IS HERE. Jack meets Amara awww. Yes I want them to spend time together YESSS. Amara and Dean are like that couple that didn't work out because they figured they'd be better as friends and it's so nice to see them. Sam is amazing wowwww. Dean WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST- WHAT DO YOU MEANT JACK ISN'T FAMILY YOU- UMM WAIT IS JACK- NOOOOOOOO!!!!! OWW MY FEELINGS. Jack looks so sad nooo. Cas is there Cas make it better. Aww Amara with a flower. Chuck is back... Yay. Lol Chuck didn't write the Dean/Amara debacle and he thinks it's weird that's amazing. Amara is amazing. Amara trying to make Chuck not act like a spoiled brat wow this is hard. I hate him with passion. AMARA YASS QUEEN GO OFFFFF. HOLD HIM. Jack you shouldn't UNDERSTAND HIM you should be PISSED. HE DID THE HELLO AJAJAGDVSHA. OH.MY.GOD I LOVE ADAM AND SERAFINA SOMEONE HUG THEM. Jack has a skittles aura wow. The final ritual, the ROCKS. Adam looks so relieved that Jack got it. OH I DID NOT NEED TO SEE HER DIGGING INTO HIS RIBS. Dean whatcha doing there buddy? Aww he thanked him!!! I still don't forgive what he said though. IT'S TIME??? IT'S TIME BABY. SAM BEING FRUSTRATED AND CAS HELPING AWWW. They found the key, HOORAH! Cas awww thank you for helping Sam. Sam no don't go alone. Empty is Meg now waaaaaht. BILLIE WANTS WHAT NOW??? Sam lying Through His Teeth to the Empty the man is a LEGEND. No Cas it's not time we need to stop this. Dean, Dean you're scaring me. Cas being angry at Jack eating the ribs the angel is legendary. Chuck you sick sick bastard what did you do you FUCKER??? AMARA STOP IT. DEAN WHAT THE HELL YOU DO NOT PULL A GUN AT YOUR BROTHER WHO THE FUCK- WHAT THE FUCK- CAS DO SOMETHINGGGG NO STOP HURTING EACH OTHER. STOP IT. CHUCK YOU SHUT THE HELL UP. DEAN STOP IT STOP THE VIOLENCE. YESS SAM TELL HIM. FUCK YOU CHUCK. AMARA NOOO. DEAN OH MY GOD NO. SAM IT'S BREAKING MY HEART. NOOOO AMARA NOOO. CHUCK NEEDS TO DIE BUT NOT LIKE THIS. OMG SAM NOOO. DEAN YESSS PUT THE GUN DOWN. FUCK YOU CHUCK. OH YOU CAN GO SUCK A DICK DON'T YOU EVER, EVER CALL CAS THAT. OMG CAS IS LITERALLY THE EMBODIMENT OF FREE WILL DID NOT EXPECT THAT. FUCK YOU CHUCK. OMG JACK NOOOO.
S15E18: DEAR LORD SOMEONE SAVE JACK HE CAN'T DIE NO NO NOPE NOT HAPPENING. Jack this is very sweet but they will NOT leave you. Billie not now. Yeah Dean tell her. Yass dads go OFF. WHERE IS JACK WHAT DID YOU DO BILLIE??? THE EMPTY??? NO DON'T DON'T DO THIS. JACK? JACK NO? JACK???? FUCK YOU BILLIE BRING HIM BACK. Oh you can go fuck yourself for all I care this is SO NOT THE TIME FOR THE BOOK. Yes Sam go OFF. Cas you really shouldn't be talking about the Empty. Isn't this episode when the deal goes down? Fuck you Billie you lost my respect. OMG JACK YOU'RE OKAY THANK GOD. Um... Empty? You okay there? Damn Sam being sassy. AND THEN HE GOES TO SIT IN THE CORNER HAHAHAHA. Yes Dean tell her. Did she just shush him? Empty ma gurl you good? Um, Billie? What's interesting? Jack's back BABY! He is not yours. Yes Dean go OFFF. CAS BEING A DAD. Aww Dean and Sam having a talk yes I'm so proud of my expressive babies. They be talking. Um, what new plan? What changed? Oh who this? Charlie is BACK BABY! YASSS MY QUEEN. Aww is that her gf? It's her gf. Oh okay where's her fucking gf??? Jack are you okay? Cas is worrying aww. Nothing's over Jack you're just three you have tons ahead of you. Dear lord Cas are you listening to yourself this is what you need to tell yourself OH MY GOD I'M BANGING MY HEAD AGAINST THE WALL UGHHHH. Billie you're being a dick stop it.  Crap everyone's disappearing. WAIT EILEEN? NO NO NO NO YOU WILL NOT DO THIS TO ME. EILLEN IS GOING TO BE FINE. WHERE ARE THE THREE DOTS? WHY AREN'T THEY THERE??? DRIVE FASTER DEAN!!! Why is the car empty? Where is she? Sam? Aww the screensaver. FUCK. SHE'S GONE. SAM? YOU OKAY? OH GOD BILLIE FUCK YOU LOOK WHAT YOU DID. NOOO. So Dean is going to kill Death again? Neat. Um Cas? I'm all for spending time with Dean but I'm worried. Aww Dean and Sam hugged. Oh hey Donna! (Is it me or is her accent off?) Jack is silent. Jack is driving. I'm so proud of him aww. Damn the badass music is awesome. Dean with the scythe is awesome. Look at that power couple. Aww Sam and Donna hugged that's cute. Let's go. Oh hey Charlie how are you? Bobby is BACK BABY. Bobby is awesome. Um Jack? How come that plant just died??? Sneaking into Death Library because those two are idiots. Oh hey splitting up is a great idea. Hi Billie, how are you? KILL 'EM DEAN. CAS ATTACK! BILLIE YOU LEAVE HIM ALONE RIGHT NOW. FUCK YOU BILLIE. DO IT DEAN KILL THEM. WAIT WHAT? Billie didn't kill them? Who did? CHUCK? THAT MOTHER FUCKER I WILL MURDER HIM. OH GOD PEOPLE ARE DISAPPEARING. WHERE ARE THEY? WAIT, NO, NOT CHARLIE NOOO. BOBBY? NO NOT BOBBY!!! DONNA? DONNA WHAT'S HAPPENING??? DONNA? NOOO!!! Oh Billie's dead now great. You can't kill Dean though. Run you two RUN. Run like hell run. Dean? Fuck. Billie leave him ALONE. FUCK FUCK RUN AWAY. BILLIE SHUT UP THIS IS A CRISIS. CAS PROTECT DEAN. PROTECT HIM LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT. YES YOU GOT HIM. FUCK YOU BILLIE FUCK YOU SO HARD. INTO THE DUNGEON. CAS REACHING INTO DEAN'S BACK POCKET AND CUTTING HIMSELF WHY??? OKAY SIGIL. SIGILS ARE NICE. OKAY GOOD DEAN IS OKAY. Dean you're being depressed this isn't helping. Billie enough of the banging. Dean you're not angry enough with this you're good. Yeah fuck Chuck but that's not the point. Dean noo. Cas do somethingggg. Dean it's okay. It's not your fault. Um Cas? What's that? Wait, the deal? Now, you're doing this now? UM, WHAT? WHAT'S HAPPENING? YEAH WHY NOW? YOU'RE LOOKING AT YOUR TRUE HAPPINESS DUMMY. IS, IS HE- WHAT'S HE DOING??? KNOW WHAT? AWWW LOOK AT HIS REVELATIONS. YEAH WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? CAS? UM. UM???!!! YES CAS TELL HIM TELL HIM HOW YOU SEE HIM THIS IS AMAZING THIS IS EVERYTHING I'VE EVER WANTED. MY HEART IS BEATING SO FAST. I CAN'T BREATHE I CAN'T BREATHE I CAN'T BREATHE. WHY ARE YOU CRYING NOOOO. CHANGED??? WHAT'S HAPPENING? WHAT'S HAPPENING SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT'S HAPPENING??? IT'S NOT A GOODBYE SHUT UP. D- DID HE JUST. DID HE JUST SAY- DID HE JUST SAY I- HE TOLD DEAN I LOVE YOU???!!! IS THIS A DREAM??? IS THIS REAL LIFE? WHAT'S HAPPENING? WHY ARE YOU CRYING??! I'M SCARED WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW???? "don't do this"??? DON'T DO THIS??? WHAT DO YOU MEEEAANN??? WAIT EMPTY BACK OFF NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO THE HAND ON THE SHOULDER THE HANDPRINT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. FUCK THIS NO I'M NOT OKAY THIS ISN'T HAPPENING NOOO. CAAAAAAAAS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! DEAN? DEAN DO SOMETHING?? DEAN WHAT'S HAPPENING??? WAIT WHERE IS EVERYONE? IS IT THE WHOLE WORLD? DEAN? DEAN? SAM IS CALLING YOU? DEAN? ARE YOU CRYING? YOU CAN'T CRY OTHERWISE I'LL CRY NO NO NO NO NO THIS IS FUCKING BAD.
S15E19: alright, the world is empty. Oh no Dean is coming to meet up with Sam and Jack no no this is bad the jacket. "Where's Cas?" I- DEAN OH MY GOD NOOO. OH NO JODY AND THE GIRLS NOO EVERYBODY'S GONE. Jack calling out for his dad my heart hurts no. Dean this is not the time for a beer. UH SAM NO YOU'RE NOT GIVING UP NUH-UH NOPE NOT TODAY. UM SAM, DEAN? YOU'RE NOT SACRIFICING YOURSELVES WHAT THE HELL NO. GOD I HATE CHUCK SOMEONE DESTROY HIM. SHOOT HIM IN THE GODDAMN CHEST, PLEASE. Side note: how cute is Jack in his jammies? Okay back to angst. Dean stop falling asleep on bottles. Jack? What's up honey? Aww cuteness overload from the jammies. Aww Dean found a dog look how happy he is OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG LOOK AT HIS FACE AWWW AHHHH HE'S SO EXCITED. OH MY FUCKING GOD KILL CHUCK KILL HIM I WANT HIM TO BURN ALIVE OH MY GOD PUNCH HIM. Oh hey Michael long time no see? What's up? Tis a shame about Adam, truly. Oh the book? Hey I love how Jack is just off to the side, eating a nougat bar. Hey are they gonna talk now? Oh wow. Um, Cas? How are you calling? I HAVE A REALLY BAD FEELING ABOUT THIS. OH MY GOD WATCH DEAN RUN. FUCK IT'S LUCIFER. WHAT DOES HE WANT. LEAVE. LEAVE. THE EMPTY LET YOU OUT AND NOT CAS? BITCH. LUCIFER YOU ARE NOT PART OF THE TEAM. Oh who that lady? Betty. Oh hi Betty. I like Betty. She makes me laugh. Lucifer building a house of cards. Jack you okay buddy? Oh hey Michael. Nobody trust Lucifer. Ohhhh how does God end? Um Lucifer? What are you doing? Why does this entire episode feel off? Wait, Chuck pulled him out? Gross. Kill him. LUCIFER LEAVE JACK ALONE. He will NEVER BE WITH YOU LUCIFER. YEAH STAB HIM GOOD MICHAEL. Jack you seem... Off? Michael you seem off. No question mark. Michael why you lying. Oh yay Sam cracked it. Hey you know the lake reminds me of where Jack was born. Oh yeah, doing spell stuff. Very badass. Um. What happened? Oh fuck. Oh fuck. CHUCK. KILL HIM. BREAK HIM. SAM, DEAN, NOOOO. MICHAEL YOU SON OF A BITCH. OH HE DED. RIP. CHUCK YOU STUPID BASTARD. What now Chuck? Gonna go kick puppies? Oh wait, you already DID. DAMN SAM I'M PROUD OF YOU. OH CHUCK DON'T YOU DARE. NO. NO. OW. NO. NO THIS IS HORRIBLE. THIS IS AWFUL. STOP IT. STOP HURTING THEM. NO. NO. HEY DOES ANYBODY FEEL A WEIRD DÉJÀ VU? LIKE, DIDN'T BECKY MENTION IT? "No classic rock, no Cas"? OH MY GOD THIS IS CHUCK'S ENDING. THE ENDING HE WROTE. FUCK. THE META. IT'S DEEP. NO STOP IT. STOP HURTING HIM. OH MY GOD OWWWW. OH PLEASE CHUCK THEY'LL NEVER STAY DOWN. SHUT THE FUCK UP CHUCK. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU SO HARD. IT IS NOT ENOUGH. FUCK YOU. YEAH SAM HELP DEAN UP. YEAH YOU WON. LOOK AT JACK ALL CUTE IN HIS WHITE SHIRT. Jack you look nice. Is that a new haircut? HAHA Chuck you can't do anything. YESSS!!!!! FUCK YEAH JACK YESS YOU DO THAT YESS I'M SO PROUD. I'M SO FUCKING PROUD OF YOU. OF ALL OF YOU. FUCK YES. Wait the book is blank? Wah- oh my god it's monologue time, bitch. I love this plan. It's awesome. Oh so that's what happened to Jack. They tricked you Chuck. Punched you right in your stupid face. METAPHORICALLY. They're not going to kill you. They're better than that. You fucker. Dean's no killer you fucker. Neither is Sam. Oh. Oh yes. OH YESS. THEY'RE WALKING AWAY. THIS IS BETTER THAN I'VE EVER HOPED. I'M SO SO PROUD OF THEM. DEAN SAYS THAT'S NOT WHO HE IS HE LISTENED TO CAS OH MY GOD. I'M SO PROUD OF THEM ALL. MY HEART CAN'T HANDLE IT. OH MY GOD. OH YESS LEAVE HIM TO ROT IN THE DIRT. YESSS. YESSS. YESSSSS!!!!! I'M SO SO SO FUCKING PROUD OF THEM ALL HOLY SHIT THEY DID THE GROWTH THING OH MY GOD HOLY SHIT. YEAH CHUCK THEY LEFT YOU, DEAL WITH IT. YES. I'M SO HAPPY. Aww is Jack going to bring everyone back? *Gasp* is he going to bring Cas back? Are we getting a reunion? OH MY GOD THE MUSIC IS SO NICE. JACK LOOKS SO AMAZING. THE PEOPLE ARE BACK!!! LOOK AT JACK SMILING ALL IN PEACE I'M SO PROUD OF HIM. I'M SO, SO PROUD OF HIM. HE GETS IT. HE GETS THE BEAUTY IN HUMANITY AND IN EARTH. IS JACK THE NEW GOD NOW? DEAN AND SAM ARE SO PROUD OF HIM. OH MY GOD IS JACK NOT COMING BACK? WHAT? WHY? Jack I just want you to know I love you so much. You're so smart and understanding and caring. You're better than God. You're Jack. Dean I know it's hard but Jack knows what he's doing. Jack understands faith. He understands family. He understands love. He understands. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM NOOO DON'T LEAVE ME I MEAN I'M SO PROUD OF YOU BUT NOOO MY BABY YOU'RE A BABY AND YOU'LL ALWAYS BE ONE YES. Sam and Dean, alone at the bunker. I'm so proud of them. They've come such a long way ever since the start. They get to be free now. But they're alone. Not for long. Next episode, everyone is coming back.  OH NO THE TABLE. THE FUCKING TABLE. NO NO NO THEY WROTE JACK AND CASTIEL I CAN'T HANDLE IT SOMEONE HOLD ME. LOOK AT THEM DRIVING MY BABIES A MONTAGE OH MY GOD THIS IS AMAZING THE TEARS NO THEY LOOK SO HAPPY THIS ISN'T GOOD FOR MY MENTAL HEALTH. OH THE FAMILY DINNER. THE COWBOY HATS. THIS ID NOT OKAY. THE DINNER WITH TEAM FREE WILL 2.0 THIS HAS BEEN AMAZING I LOVE EVERYTHING. 
 S15E20 will be posted a few days after the episode!
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thetvmoviefan · 5 years
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I just LOVE THIS Nabrina Fanart!!!!! Also Gavin liked it at some point lol. Late post cause I forgot to post it yesterday. Credit to the Artist elena_tesnickaya on Instagram.
ALSO Fics where Nick is a Jock and Sabrina is a Cheerleader.
Note: AU=Alternate Universe/Both are still witches / AH= All Human basically they are both Mortals
1. “Be True To Your School”
Author: Rayo aka @its-nabrina-bitch
Summary: “Nicholas Scratch is the Golden Boy of Baxter High; star athlete, top of his class academically, and devastatingly handsome. Sabrina Spellman sees Sophomore year as an opportunity to expand her horizons; joining the cheerleading squad, running for student council, and making new friends along the way while working to maintain her relationships with her old friends. What Sabrina Spellman doesn’t know: sophomore year is about to turn her world upside-down.” AU - Rated General - Chapters 4/? - Last Update 9/12/2019
2. “act 5, scene 2 (thou and i are too wise to woo peaceably)”
Author: ghostemo aka @wickedscratch​
Summary: When Sabrina Spellman rose to a challenge issued by Prudence Night, she never imagined she’d actually make the varsity cheer squad - or that doing so would upend life as she knew it. Now she has to navigate her new role within the social hierarchy of hell -er Baxter High as well as trying to get her boyfriend to actually communicate. It certainly doesn’t help that she’s been paired up with the annoyingly handsome Nicholas Scratch, captain of Greendale’s beloved football team, for a project in her theater class. It’s exactly as, if not more so, cliche as it sounds. AU/AH - Rated Teen - Chapters 3/? - Last Update 7/25/2019
Fics where Nick is a Jock
1) “Ground Beneath Her Feet”
Author: mindlesshappy
Summary: Sabrina is born out of a miracle - one that she wishes would repeat for her, but when she is destined for someone else, how much can she resist before her heart decides to give in. Alternatively, Nick is Sabrina’s soulmate, but she really just wants Harvey to be it. Also, in the backseat are all the other possible ships, getting their own soulmate glories. AU - Rated Teen - Chapters 9/? - Last Update 9/21/2019
2. “The Jock”
Author: mikaila_ealum
Summary: An Alternate Universe where Nicholas Scratch is Baxter High’s quarterback along with one of the most popular boys at school. With few knowing the truth, Scratch is living a double life as a warlock at the Academy of Unseen Arts. Sabrina takes a hiatus from the Academy to get more in touch with her mortal side. When Sabrina gets back she becomes partners with Nicholas for a project in theatre class. AU - Not Rated - Chapters 8/? - Last Update 8/7/2019
3. “My only love sprung from my only hate”
Author: filmharlot
Summary: High School AU where Nick is based on the version of him that Sabrina creates in her dream during the Batibat episode. Harvey and Sabrina have broken up and don’t want to work together on the Romeo and Juliet assignment in Drama class, so she ends up being partners with Nick. AU - Not Rated - Chapters 7/? - Last Update 5/04/2019
Also HERE’s my latest masterlist of other Nabrina Fics I’ve read so far and HIGHLY recommend. Please leave kudos/love/comments to all these amazing Nabrina writers while we wait for Part 3 & 4. They work hard to give us content while we wait lol.
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grimtwin · 5 years
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Favorite ZoNa moments?
All of them of course!
Their first time meeting! Zoro saves Nami from Buggy’s crew as they made to attack her for refusing to kill Luffy. Fending off something like five or six attackers easily, Zoro casually asks her if she’s okay. 
Then on Usopp’s island, where Nami and Zoro are trapped behind an oil slick. Nami steps on Zoro so she can safely cross, while Zoro gets stuck. A short while later, when a couple of Zoro’s are taken from him, Nami tries to retrieve them. Even after taking a brutal hit from Jango, she’s able to kick Zoro’s swords to him, which kind of annoys him, but she has this cheeky, “is that how you thank someone?” line, and Zoro gives her his thanks, before whooping ass. That and his terrified reactions every time she’s attacked during this fight with the Black Cat Pirates.
Then we jump to Arlong Park for a few more scenes. This is one of the biggest shipping moments for the two, for a lot of fans. After getting nearly bisected by Mihawk, Zoro’s pretty banged up, and gets taken prisoner by Arlong’s crew. After some cheeky back and forth between Zoro and Nami, Arlong says some pretty fucked up things about Nami being a cold hearted witch who would even forget Bell-mere’s murder for money, which clearly upsets Nami. That doesn’t go unnoticed by Zoro, who then throws himself into the water. He’s bound at the legs, with his hands tied behind his back, and one of the most gruesome wounds we’ve ever seen in OP...so no way is he getting out of that. Until Nami dives into the water and drags him back up that is. Kudos to Nami’s strength here btw, she’s gotta be strong as hell to do that. Anyway, Zoro calls Nami’s bluff here, telling her he knew that she couldn’t have let him die and to stop acting cool which infuriates her enough to stomp on his back. She then asks why he has so many bandages on, and in the English dub, he flirts a bit by saying he didn’t have another shirt and didn’t want Nami to be distracted by his chest/abs, to which she immediately punches him as hard as she can in his Mihawk wound.
After a dramatic flashback and Nami stabbing her arm to slice away the Arlong tattoo, Luffy and the crew go to kick Arlong’s ass. It’s here were we get the next short, but sweet moment that I like. Zoro’s wound has been hit a few times, he’s got a stupid high fever, is damn near dead on his feet at this point, but he’s fighting Arlong in order to give Sanji and Nojiko time to save Luffy’s life. He gives Nami a thumbs up, saying he’s good, but in his weakened state, Arlong gets the better of Zoro, and is holding him by the throat. Its then that Arlong tears away Zoro’s bandages, and that’s when he, Nami, and the rest of Cocoyashi’s villagers see just how fucked up Zoro is right now. Zoro’s got this death glare that startles Arlong to his core, Nami’s lets out a horrified gasp, and Arlong knows he has to kill Zoro here and now because it’ll be too dangerous to let him live. Well...that is until Luffy finally shows up, freed from his stone prison at the bottom of the ocean, grabs Zoro by the shirt color, and throws him several hundred yards to the back of his head lol. 
I suppose the next instance would be at Whiskey Peak. The crew has just made it to the Grande Line, and survive a hellish wave of storms...all thanks to Nami, and no thanks to Zoro, who was napping. When he wakes up, Zoro is interrogating Ms. Wednesday and Mr. 9, who jumped on their ship, and just when he’s about to uncover some secret, Nami shows up and beats Zoro’s head in. She’s pissed he was sleeping during all the chaos, and even though Zoro tries to get tough with her, she just beats him some more. We all know who wears the pants...or short skirt in that relationship. Later, the crew are happily welcomed into Whiskey Peak’s village, where a massive party is thrown for them by the villagers. The crew is having a grand ol’ time, drinking eating, partying their asses off and we see both Nami and Zoro engaging in a drinking contest. Zoro “goes down” around the 13th tankard of booze, while Nami “goes down” around the 15th. It’s then that we learn that the village is one of 100 Bounty Hunters, who aim to kill/capture pirates making their way into the Grand Line. Just as they unveil their big secret, Zoro appears on top of a house, in one of the most bad ass moments of his up to this point in the series. He was faking being drunk, saying no way would he trust a village welcoming pirates into their midst. He then announces he knows they are Baroque Works, and proceeds to beat the shit out of the entire village in a dope ass fight.
And after that tussle, Mr. 5 and Ms. Valentine’s Day show up! It seems they have an intruder in their organization, and it’s Miss Wednesday, aka Princess Nefertari Vivi of Alabasta! They’re on the hunt when Mr. 8 pleads with Zoro to go save her, as he is actually Igaram, Vivi’s royal guard. It’s then that Nami appears, agreeing to help Vivi..but at the cost of one billion beri! Zoro questions what she’s doing there when Nami says the same thing he did earlier, that she couldn’t trust a town welcoming pirates, and that she could handle way more booze! These two are can handle their drink alright. Nami and Igaram negotiate, and after coming to terms, Nami commands Zoro to go save Vivi! He immediately refuses until Nami counters that her contracts are HIS contracts as well, and that Zoro still owes her payment for the money she lent him at Loguetown. She guilt trips the ever loving hell out of him, and Zoro has no choice but to run off and save Vivi. 
Now we’re at Little Garden, the isle of giants and dinosaurs. The Straw Hats food reserves are low at this point, so Zoro and Sanji decide to have a contest of who can bring back the bigger dinosaur and most meat, very much like Dory and Brogy did 100 years prior. After some running around, Zoro kills his prey and is trying to make it back to the ship when he gets lost; big surprise right? During his search for the ship, he suddenly sees Nami leaning against a tree and happily calls out to her with a big ol’ smile on his face...but cut to black. It was all a trap set up by Mr. 3! A wax dummy of Nami, who has now captured Zoro, Nami, and Vivi! More stuff happens with the other characters, before we’re shown that Nami, Zoro, and Vivi are attached to this big candle with a spinning top that, as it melts, will spray a wax coating over the trapped victims, turning them into statues. Zoro being cool as shit, decides that if they’re just going to die as statues, he’ll cut his feet off and go kill Mr. 3 before this can happen. Just as he goes to do this, an action which horrifies both ladies at his side, Luffy, Usopp, and Carue show up, and Zoro stops about half way through his legs. The pooling blood freaks Nami out, who berates him. A short while later, things are looking bad for Luffy, Usopp, and Carue, so Zoro decides if he’s going to become a statue, he’s going to strike a cool pose. Again Nami gets angry with him, and Zoro jokes with her that she should have taken a better pose too. All three, plus Brogy are completely encased and wax...until Usopp, Luffy, and Carue set them on fire! The wax melts, Zoro, Nami, and Vivi burst out of the towering flames, and take out Ms. Valentine’s Day and Mr. 5 in one shot! 
Next, we fast forward to the Alabasta Kingdom. For years, Shichibukai and leader of Baroque Works, Sir Crocodile, has engulfed the country in a civil war, all for the goal of gaining access to a poneglyph, a stone with the location of an ancient weapon known has Pluton, carved into it. And under his employee are the assassins partners Mr.1, Daz Bones, and Miss Doublefinger, Zala. During all the chaos of the final battle, these two would become Zoro and Nami’s opponents, tricked into following the Straw Hats away from Princess Vivi. Zoro tells Nami to stay quiet and hide, but it’s the assassins golden rule to take out those that are weakest first, so they immediately go to attack Nami. Just before Mr. 1 is about to cut her down, Zoro comes to her defense just in the nick of time once more! (In the anime he gives her a cocky grin) The two separate to take care of their own battles, both bloody and brutal, and after Zoro and Nami prevail, Zoro collapses in the street in need of a nap from blood loss. Nami finds him soon after and smacks him awake, but since she’s had her foot and leg stabbed through by Miss Doublefinger’s needles, she can’t walk to well, and gets a piggy back ride from Zoro as they search for Vivi and their friends. 
Onward to Jaya! This one is short and sweet. After Luffy and Zoro take a massive beating from Bellamy and his crew, a fight that held no meaning for the Straw Hats so they just didn’t counter, Nami is thoroughly pissed at for being mocked and made a fool of. Later on, when Luffy goes to confront Bellamy for stealing Norland’s gold, Nami asks Zoro why he didn’t go with Luffy to fight. A small, but cute, argument breaks out between the two. They fight like an old married couple! Just get hitched already dammit!
Further still, it’s up to Skypiea! Here we have a lot of good moments between the two. After Pagaya and the people of Skypiea rat the Straw Hats out to Eneru, the Going Merry is attacked and dragged off by some massive sky shell fish. And on the ship, are Robin, Chopper, Zoro, and Nami, where they’re carried to an area  where they are meant to be used as sacrifices for Eneru and his warriors. While trying to leave the sacrificial alter, the crew is attacked by Sky Sharks, which try to eat Zoro right away. He gets soaked during the scuffle to kill the sharks, and strips his shirt off, to which Nami goes into his room and then tosses him a new, dry one. Nami warns Zoro that God and the guardian priests are in the forest and are too strong to compete with, but Zoro tells her he’s never prayed to any god because he doesn’t believe him him. Chopper thinks this is cool as hell, and Nami cries, saying she doesn’t know Zoro lol. So Nami, Robin, and Zoro leave the alter to go check some things out, and during their trip, some delightful arguing and banter takes place, and Zoro saves Nami from several sky sharks and a sky alligator trying to devour her. He had been taking the lead on their journey but slowed down to walk behind Nami so he could protect her more easily.
Later on, during a hellish battle set up by Eneru, involving his forces, the Straw Hat Pirates, and the Shandian Warriors, Zoro are fighting alongside with the gargantuan sky snake Norla. In the ensuing chaos, Norla swallows Nami and Aisha appear in the midst of the battle, and are attacked by some goat men under Eneru’s command. Zoro, Wiper, and Gan Fall protect them...but soon after, Gan Fall, Nami, and Aisha are immediately swallowed by Norla. In a fit of anger, shock, and urgency to save Nami, Zoro tries to swiftly deal with his opponents at the time, Ohm and Holy, who activate a cage of iron cloud barbed wire to trap the combatants inside, while also fending off Wiper’s attacks. After defeating Ohm and Holy, the ground beneath his feet is blown away by Eneru and everyone falls to an area below. In all that, Norla spits up Gan Fall, Nami, but then Eneru attacks the snake, and fries it with a massive electrical attack. Zoro, seeing this, is terrified for Nami, until she pokes her head out from behind a rock, revealing that she’s fine. Zoro almost looks annoyed that he was caught looking so scared.
I could continue on, but this is crazy long as is...so this is a good stopping point!
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spn 14.17 - 14.19
SPOILERS ahead.
quick impressions:
1. well that was deeply upsetting.
2. i tried to put this into words after just seeing a gifset of samndean brooding over mary’s funeral pyre the other day but after watching the performance of their grief? the lingering shots of photos and mementos? it all just leaves a sick feeling at the pit of my stomach.
2.5. LIKE. how do i even express the swelling sense of disquiet at watching their mourning of her, when for over thirty years she was held up as a symbol and a justification for all of the shitty things they did? ‘mom would’ve wanted this’ was ultimate validation--sam even hallucinated her telling him that it was ok to feel the things he did all the way back in 4.21; dean kept bringing her up as a motivation to do whatever it took to close the gates of hell in s8. when she actually came to life in s12, there was instant friction between what her sons expected her to be and what she actually was, which was a retired hunter and a young mother to two small children. she was immediately expected to provide succour and emotional support to her grown-ass sons, despite the fact that she was both younger and vastly less experienced than them. that she went on to try and find herself instead of flailing to conform to dean’s the winchesters’ impossibly high standards of her as a mother figure was fascinating, but her character path meandered from there and ended up being an emotional touchstone for the brothers, valued for just being there and being their mother, or galvanising them into action by dying/disappearing. 
3. jack does feel, and feel deeply, though? he immediately regretted killing mary by accident and went to great lengths to do the thing he’d learned from the winchesters that he ought to do: try and resurrect her. he was legit tortured by what he’d done (until the last half of 14.19 anyway), and had his own personal hallucifer voice his greatest fears and darkest doubts to him. his righteous rage in frying nick to a crisp has no doubt been reflected in samndean’s eyes multiple times. that this somehow translates into an ‘absence of morality’ is just such a specious argument.
jack centered his moral universe around sam and dean winchester, who themselves are a bundle of contradictions and extremely ethically suspect decisions. he’s only been alive for two years, and in those two years he has been repeatedly told that his instincts are dangerous, that he is one half pure evil, and that he must trust the likes of samndean and castiel to validate his actions. of course he’s easily manipulated--his sense of self is pliable enough to be non-existent. one learns and unlearns and relearns right and wrong and all of the spaces in between from the people around them. that the depletion of a human soul means you are fundamentally incapable of applying what you’ve learned to be ‘good’ or that ‘decency’ is something that you can inherit like a biological trait is just... weird.
(ok, but to counter my own point a little bit, given that god and angels and heaven and hell exist in this universe, then is it possible that ‘good’ and ‘bad’ exist outside of the ever-evolving concepts formed by human society? that there is an objective way to be ‘good’ and ‘evil’, devoid of context that’s informed by circumstance or beliefs or human frailty. hm.)
3.5. it is curious that jack seems calm, even cheery, when performing biblical acts on the instructions of dumah when he was so tortured only half an episode earlier, but perhaps he was calmed by the promise of validation by samndean. if this is what they would want, then it is Right to do. (on a doylist level, i feel like it was a way to get the very difficult pill of samndean manipulating this kid into an eternal prison down just a little bit easier.)
3.8. and finally it is those humans with ~souls who use their power over jack’s feelings and worldview to manipulate him into dying for eternity in a little box while desperately trying to justify it to themselves and everybody else. 
4. sam following dean’s lead and helping to lock up jack hurt so goddamn much to watch. but it’s perfectly understandable--he’s fully internalised why dean did the same thing to him all the way back in 4.21. it’s why he stopped the third trial in s8 after dean’s monologue. it’s why he fell to his knees, ready to be decapitated by dean if that was dean wanted in the s10 finale. it’s why he apologised for taking a break from hunting in s11. it’s bad enough when it’s hurting sam, but it’s extra agonising to watch when it’s hurting jack as well. i mean--kudos, Show, but OUCH.
4.5. sam is genuinely distressed by what he’s done, tho, but the crucial thing is he doesn’t stand up to dean as much as he needs to, and in that sense, he has utterly failed jack. not just in this ep, but from the beginning of s13 when he was firmly in jack’s corner, sure, but spent more energy defending dean’s unjustified rage towards him than anything else. 
i hope this comes to a head between them in the season finale and plays out over the final season. sam and dean haven’t truly been at ideological odds since s9--for the last few years, samndean have done things as a unit, or rather, dean exercised his power as Supreme Moral Arbiter of the Universe and sam followed without much, or any protest. if he does stand up against dean, a lot of other issues can be dealt with alongside--resurrections, the idea of permanence, and the truly elusive and enigmatic idea of informed consent.
5. i’m genuinely excited for the finale--the cliffhanger at the end of 19 was stomach-droppingly terrifying. gosh, this show is so gloriously fucking distressing.
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minaminokyoko · 5 years
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Spider-Man: Far from Home--A Spoilertastic Review
Oh, my baby boy is back and it feels good.
Like many of you, I was looking forward to FFH due to the trauma left behind by our final film with all the Avengers present, and I needed to see my sweet Spider Son to try to dry my tears. I'm happy to say Far from Home is just the popcorn flick we need this summer: light, enjoyable, fun. I do admit to a bias right off the bat, before I begin the review: I am one of the hugest fans of the Iron Dad and Spider Son dynamic, and so I knew by default that I wasn't going to like this movie as much as the first one. Sorry. I am a skank for adopted family tropes, and I think Iron Dad and Spider Son was one of the strongest relationships developed in the MCU period. Losing Tony is just...agonizing. I've sectioned it off in my brain as Did Not Happen just to get by, honestly, and so keep that in mind as we proceed.
Spoilers ahead.
Overall Grade: B
Pros:
-Lemme get this out of the way: MY SONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN MY SPIDER SON OH MY GOSH PETER PARKER IS SUCH A GOOD BOI AND A SWEET SMOL BEAN AND I HAVE NO MATERNAL INSTINCTS EXCEPT WHEN IT COMES TO MCU PETER PARKER AND I LOVE THIS CHILD MORE THAN ANYTHING AND I JUST WANT TO PROTECT HIM AND HUG HIM AND BRUSH HIS HAIR AND COOK HIM DINNER I LOVE MY LITTLE BOY Y'ALL.
-Ahem. Tom Holland still shines in this role. I really, solidly care about Peter Parker. He's a great kid and he's very realistic in the way that he's written and acted. He's just a shy, awkward little nerd with a heart of gold who unfortunately has been forced into the worst situations that he's not ready for. I wanted to punch "Nick" in the face for how much goddamn pressure he put on a kid who is literally still in the goddamn mourning process just like everyone else. Peter has so much to deal with and he's only had these powers for a short amount of time, so it's natural that he's so frustrated and anxious and he wants time to go after things that are important to him. I found that very understandable and sympathetic, even if the "I just want to be normal" trope has been done to death in superhero media. MCU Peter has so much heart and I'm proud of this baby for what he's able to accomplish.
-The allusions to Tony and the void left behind hit home quite hard. Especially that fucking gravestone part of the Mysterio sequence. That was just...cruel. Tony taught Peter so much, and he genuinely loved that kid. He grew to love him and trust him and worry about him, and it's so awful that Tony won't get to see him grow up to be his own man. I'm grateful for the time they had together, and I really love Tony leaving Peter the glasses and the A.I., knowing that while he might still make a mistake, he would do the right thing in the end. (Side note: EDITH is as funny as it is fucked up, "Even Dead, I'm the Hero." God fucking damn you, Tony, that is so in-character and it hurts my soul.) "Nick" shoving all that pressure onto Peter made me want to kick his ass, especially since he talks down to him and tries to blame him for not being ready when he only just got into the game relatively speaking. But I also loved the sequence of him in the plane doing exactly what Tony used to do in his lab. It's such a great parallel, showing that Peter is his own person but he's also a chip off the old block, and that is very sweet to see. (I also squealed at the Led Zeppelin comment, oh my son, such a cutie.)
-I was extremely hesitant about them choosing Gyllenhaal for the role of Mysterio (not because of his skill as an actor, just because he looks like a giant puppy, sorry) but now I see why. He's an unstable narcissist and it fits him. What a jerkoff. I was furious with how callous he was and how he shifted blame everywhere like it's just SO necessary to kill all these people for fame, fortune, and money. Ugh, what a shitbird. So kudos to him. I didn't think he could pull it off, but he sure as hell did.
-The effects were fantastic. I really do think the illusion sequence will go down in MCU history as one of the most visually creative, disorienting, heartbreaking things we've seen so far in the saga. It was harrowing, especially the Iron Man suit crawling out of the grave. What a kick in the fucking nuts for Peter, and for us.
-Peter and MJ, while it did get a little overwhelming, were cute as shit. And I'm glad that the modern films are removing the stigma of the "I can't let my family and friends know I'm the hero" thing. It was definitely heavily done in the 80's, 90's, and early to mid 2000's and I'm fine to see it being phased out at least in terms of the MCU. It's a little more realistic that most of your family or friends would be able to handle your secret, and not only that, help you out on occasion. I'm glad she knows and their kisses were freaking adorable. Sweet babies.
-That. First. End. Credits. Scene. What a fucking killer. First off, God bless whoever at Marvel Studios listened to the thousands of fans begging them to cast J. K. Simmons as J. Jonah Jameson again, continuity be damned. The man IS the embodiment of the character, and I absolutely fucking ADORE that they gave us the nod and the wink we all wanted even back when Spidey was Andrew Garfield. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Next, oh my God, my sweet baby boy, my smol bean, got called out and branded as a murderer. Fuck, this is gonna be a serious problem, and considering the fact that we don't have the next MCU film lined up yet (at the time this was posted, and mind you, San Diego Comic Con is in two weeks, so maybe they'll clarify) the consequences could definitely be crazy. Poor Peter. He's gonna have a lot of work to do in order to undo this mess and prove that he's not Spidey, but this could also mean they're adapting some part of the Civil War story, maybe. We'll see, but that was a big ass bomb to drop.
-The Skrulls second credit scene was a genuine surprise, and it made sense. I thought Nick felt a little off the whole movie, and that really does explain why--it's someone else doing an impression of him and trying their best. Nick would've been smart enough to know probably right off the bat that Beck wasn't who he said he was. His story was way too noble and convenient. Nick would've probably have run facial recognition and then it would ping for a former Stark Industries employee, and that would've been a wrap. I like that it being a Skrull justifies what would be a plothole. Neat idea.
-I appreciated the Spidey's eye view of the action. Those were some cool shots and they were centered well, so you didn't feel nauseous or anything. It kept you in the action and was very engrossing and cool.
Cons:
-The bystander syndrome that everyone got this time around is a little irksome. It's the same reason that while I really, really love Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2, I default don't like it as much as the first one since everyone got put into the bystander spot except for basically Peter in the very end. While it was nice to have them defend themselves, I'd have liked it more of MJ and Ned and the others figured their own way out of escaping the drones. Why? Because it would show Peter that it's not always on just his shoulders. His friends are competent and they can help, and I think that would've been a better way to go rather than him doing it himself.
-Some of the humor was flat. JB Smooth and the other teacher are the worst offenders, I'd say. They were given too much screentime and they're not that funny.
-The May and Happy subplot goes almost nowhere and isn't fully explored, and I kind of would've been fine if it hadn't been in the movie at all. It doesn't add much.
-The ending was kind of unclear? Did Beck actually get shot and die from his wounds? If so, then what was the official story about the drones and his body and whatnot? It's all pretty damn vague. If Beck is dead, that's disappointing. I kinda wish Marvel would stop killing the villains at the end of almost all the films. Longest running recurring villains are Loki and Thanos, I think. Vulture lived, and I'd like him to return in the future if possible. You can use actors more than once, Marvel, they're not tissue paper.
-Nitpick: It did almost feel like we missed a movie where Peter likes MJ. She was more a cameo in the first one than a full lead, so it almost felt like there's a short film somewhere of them getting closer and him getting over Liz and liking MJ instead.
-Nitpick: Same with the whole "other guy also likes MJ" subplot. Eh, I could leave it out and not miss it.
-Nitpick: I still can't with how they expect anyone to buy that Night Monkey story. I mean, it's black suited Spidey no matter which way you look at it. And yes, people should immediately notice he's at the very least one of the students at Peter's high school, and then it can't be too hard after that. I mean, Peter doesn't even change his voice while he's in the suit.
-Nitpick: I was kind of hoping for more clues or reactions to half of everyone, you know, being fucking murdered by Thanos for five years and returning to their lives. But I guess that was just pushed aside because it could become a whole rabbit hole issue. Still, though, I was hoping someone would tell us if the Snapped just don't remember being dead or if there is some kind of afterlife they experienced. (Side note: wow, holy shit, the teacher's mini story about it was dark and awful but I did laugh out of shock. I mean, damn. Low blow, wifey. Low fucking blow.)
-They mention spidey sense but I'd have liked it if they explicitly explain why he has it sometimes but other times he doesn't? It seems to fluctuate, but why and how? Is it more like anxiety or an extra sense? Is it based on his emotional health? I want clarification.
All in all, I had a good time and I'd put this in the middlegrade MCU films. I still really enjoy Holland in the role and I want nothing but good things for him and this franchise.
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tinkdw · 6 years
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14x01: watching notes / mini meta
This episode is just like one long tick list of previous meta and I love it even if the actual ep itself was slightly bland with a few niggles, the thematics are so exciting for what it means for the show overall and the characters we love. Here’s my watching notes / mini meta short versions of the themes, (previous longer meta’s on each theme are linked with x or underlined sentences). Here we go!
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I called the Angel wings, yay!
Opening song: shot down in flames by AC/DC. A song about unrequieted romantic feelings. Lmao. OK, good start...
- Dean screaming at Sam “all I see is everything we’ve lost” - cuts to just Cas dying. OK. Thanks for clarifying that meta from last year up for us Dabb ;)
- That freeze frame tho. Even shortened it’s still terrible. Stawp.
- Cut to Sam in the car, this is like the one with Rowena where it went from the opening song to her in the car and I love it, please do more. Oh, bonus if we can get one where Dean does it and he looks at the camera like he’s on the office and switches it from something rocky to, like, Miley Cyrus :p
- The point of the Jamil scene, whilst in itself it is divisive and has offended some viewers (and I do not condone that but I write meta so here is the meta), was clear re: Michael. Showing that Michael essentially is that asshole who doesn’t care how much you redeemed yourself and now are trying to do good but says you want selfish things and remembers that one time you did something wrong 8 years ago and won’t let you get past it. He also enjoys putting words in others’ mouths and judging them from above because he somehow thinks he is some all knowing, all judging clever clogs (and better than Gabriel, pfft he doesn’t even know our Gabriel but just assumes he’s better, ok then...). He’s a self absorbed, self assured, arrogant, genocidal, doesn’t give a shit about humanity wanker with a chip on his shoulder having inherited some power from his daddy he doesn’t know what to do with and has only shown so far that he can balls it up royally but somehow thinks this time, this time it'll work cos he’s oh so intelligent and right. Oh look, Michael is Trump.
- “A better world”. Well I’ve talked about that a lot previously, how this links to the other extreme end of the MoL, essentially we have the MoL at one end telling us the world can only be better if you remove anything supernatural and Michael at the other saying it can only be better if you remove anything natural. Longer meta on these and how they also link to John and the season 1 onwards black/white to grey area progression here: x and x  Dabb is really hammering home the grey area / balance themes in the middle for endgame and I love him for it.
- DEAD MANS BLOOD BULLETS what a great idea! I’ve not seen anyone comment on this yet but honestly, this is up there with salt hoolahoops and exorcisms saved on your phone ;)
- Sam “chief” Winchester. I’m living. I mean let the dude take a nap but the concept and symbolism of him as the leader, taking charge of the hunters and the bunker, Mary as his lieutenant, everyone looking up to him with respect because of what he has done and who he is rather than out of fear or duty... I can’t express just how much I love this and am grateful it’s as blatant as it is.
- Castiel gets kidnapped and used as “bait” (yes there’s like 5 layers of symbolism here and I hate/love it) and the whole thing with Sam telling them there’ll be no king of Hell goes down in Detroit. Yeah sure tell me Dabb doesn’t care about mirrors and previous canon references, parallels and subversions ;)
- I just can’t even with Sassy!Cas *rolls eyes* *uses “GOD” as a blatant blasphemy* is just so human, being so done when Kip makes his stupid OTT grand entrance whilst Cas is calmly sat in front of the fire pit and then tells him he’ll burn him to ash. YES MY SON.
- “Joined at the... (Dick)”. Yes Kip I get you, everyone does, literally everyone thinks they’re boning, cos duh, but you see they could actually have an ounce of happiness within the chaos if they weren’t so bloody miscommunicative and self hating that they haven’t even admitted their feelings let alone touched each other yet below the shoulder. But yes, please, do join the hoards of characters on the show who assume they are a couple. 
*Tink stares into the camera*
- The less said about Michael’s puny ass winged ‘twuform’ the better. Yes it looks like a pigeon with disproportionally tiny wings, yes it looks like Dean bent his halo (lolz) but aside from the humour there’s nothing good about this.
- Michael: Dean said yes for love. Ah yes. The power of love. I love to be reminded that this whole show’s premise since the pilot is love. Thanks Satan.
- Michael thinks Anael is everything Cas is. “The rebel, the Angel who doesn’t like playing by Heaven’s rules” I mean jeez, like a hammer to the face much! Well, Danneel said she did want to play Castiel so ;) x and x 
- Tbh I also got massive self reflection vibes here off the next part on performing!Dean and I just love how all this comes out of Dean’s own mouth, it’s just so symbolic. Every time Michael says something it seems to be a reflection on John or Dean or daddy issues of some sort.
Re: Performing!Dean: “You pretend to care about these things... pretty things, but that’s all it is, pretending. These trinkets, they don’t make you happy they just pass the time, they’re not what you really want”. *Tink stares at all of the meta on Performing!Dean repression by overcompensating, especially with sex to pass the time and try to alleviate his mood with women, especially since season 7, every time Cas is gone and he’s pining*.
- What do you really want? This basically works for both Dean and Cas (and Sam too to be fair but he’s not been mirrored previously so I’m going with the symbolism here being most relevant to Cas mirror Anael and Dean whose literally saying it through a veil): “love, to belong, to have a place a home a family... it’s very very human”.
- *Cough* blatant easy link and exposition of endgame Human!Cas and Nonperforming!Dean. *sends Dabb a giant fruit and donut basket*
- Cleary the theme of season 14 is “what do you want” just as season 13′s was “who are you”. Excellently linked themes.
- Sam is just going around all episode fixing other peoples issues and taking no time for himself, he needs a friend and a nap.
- Jack is actually not doing badly considering and I’m so happy they made him sad and angsty without being an annoying whiney teenager (I do have an issue with how Claire was made into this and am annoyed with the m/f difference but sigh, clearly they were trying to do something better with WS. Sigh again).
- I actually kinda loved the Sam / Nick scene. Since it was clear Mark P was coming back (literally why Satan) I made peace with it and expected Nick and I hope they continue with it as well as I think it started. Mark’s little gestures of itching and wincing really helped with the overall feel here so through gritted teeth I say kudos. Jared steals the show though at his own minute facial expressions and the deep meaning of this scene for him, I’m sure he enjoyed acting this immensely as he’s always cared a lot for the Sam/Lucifer storyline and it’s closure. Obviously it’s got implications for Michael!Dean so let’s see what happens. Sam was amazing obviously, man, I just... really hope Bucklemming don’t fuck this up as Nick’s likely their play thing. Fingers crossed, it’s off to a good start.
- If they really do follow through on this really cack-handed obvious “we can kill Michael by stabbing Dean and save Dean” story then I’ll be really fucking disappointed. This is lazy and too obvious, it also negates all the possibility for the Dean/John mirror from 2x01 with John angry at them for not killing him to kill Azazel and thus leading into Dean’s blatantly exposed self worth arc throughout the season while he struggles to feel worthy of being alive at the potential expense of the world, with his family telling him he does deserve to be saved (>...>). I mean... I just can’t really get my head around this not happening? Or it being so frankly badly written if it is? It feels more like a red herring to me, like, a giant red herring. If it doesn’t happen like this and they just stab Michael with the shittyretconblade then I’ll be shocked. Though I’ll be less shocked if it’s in the Bucklemming episode and I’ll attribute this to their shitty writing and Dabb really having zero fucking says in his own show anymore and the whole thing going downhill moving forwards. So either way it’s bad. So fingers, toes and everything crossed this isn’t what happens.
- The fact that Cas knew Sam would come save him gives me so many happy feels whereas I feel only a few seasons ago he would have said he’s not worth saving / why would Sam bother. He trusts Sam and he believes Sam loves him. Happy Tink.
- “He just told you he’s a demon?” “Yep”. I love Sassy! Sam.
- Bait. It’s kind of what you’re for isn’t it? I just... That was so hilariously triple, quadruple, whatever, entendre... bait for the audience, bait for the Winchesters, bait associated with fish as Castiel usually is, just, it made me laugh out loud and @bluestar86 looked at me like I’d gone nuts but I loved the cleverness of it. Though also fuck you Cas is more than bait ;) I mean Dabb knows that he loves Cas he’s being tongue in cheek but yeah, this made me chuckle big time.
- Michael has been to see Kip and it again hopefully will be a continuation of the theme of Michael being so black and white he turns grey people black or white. I’d love to see an opposite where his asking this question of what do you want actually makes someone choose to do the right thing.
- Mary “I have to think about the good Sam, because if I don’t I’ll just drown in the bad, for Dean’s sake I can’t do that, we can’t do that”. Wow. Mary ploughing on, seemingly cold to others until she’s probed, revealing her internal emotional struggle, forever threatening to overflow and the actual drive for her actions that in full circle are what makes her come across as uncaring. If this isn’t Mary’s whole arc since her resurrection in one sentence. If it ain’t also a massive TFW mirror. IN ONE SENTENCE. GOD I LOVE ANDREW DABB OK?!
- Bobby re-emphasising the family theme to Jack in the impala, reminiscent of Jack telling the Winchester’s they are his family in the impala last season.
- Equating Sam to Beyoncé for his glorious physique, hair and overall legend / icon status is just A. Brilliantly hilarious and reminding us how great Sam is but also B. So cool to give zero shits that Beyoncé is a woman and is just as capable of being a role model for a guy. Kudos Dabb. C. I just imagine Cas looking on like but I’m Beyoncé! ;)
- The fight scene is just too embarrassing, that knife flip between Mary and Sam is so 80’s bionic man and more wires like, my dudes, my guys, stawwwwwwp. I’m also annoyed tbh that Maggie is for some reason a young, relatively helpless and hapless girl rather than being an AU survivor and hunter. Like, why even bring her from the off no questions asked while questioning Jack, if she’s so helpless she’s hiding and gormless to the point Mary had to actually ask her if she knows how to stab someone. This is weird and I hope they’re going to show her developing cos urgh. wtf.
- Cas is “still breathing” after fighting like a human and being all bloodied up like a human without healing himself. straight into the #human!cas tag. 
- Callbacks to Crowley and as @bluestar86 said Kip just reminds us of another demon dude from 14x08 and this is totally true, “Barthamus call me Bart" and “Kipling call me Kip”. What’s next, “Judas call me J”?. 
- Sam’s “enough!” 
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is the best moment of this episode hands down and I am excite for this symbolism for his character growth. I don’t personally think this is at all him declaring he’s King or Regent, he’s just asserting his very puny human authority, albeit as the one time could have been ruler but he isn’t and doesn’t want to be, and regardless the demons fear him for who he is as Sam Winchester not as a potential king. 
BOOM> Sam Fucking Winchester amiright?!
He’s feared by demons because of who he chooses to be as a person and he’s respected by humans for who he chooses to be.
It’s a total mirror opposite.
It’s a bookend. 
I LOVE it.
DAMN DABB.
- Cas supporting Sam, the only one who really asks how he is, is such brother / best friend goals. Sam being honest about his feelings and the opposite mirror of Cas deflecting from his own when Sam asks how he is in return is painful. Please Cas, tell us what you want.
- “Sunshine”. OK but literally the whole point of that scene was Bobby calling Mary sunshine while flirting with beer bottles. Nothing else happened. It’s like Dabb is literally wielding a Destiel subtext hammer and bashing it into canon in new and interesting ways every moment he can at this point when they’re not even in the episode or scene. I’m reminded of David/Violet. I wanted Mary/Bobby Destiel parallels and we got it in episode 1. Excellent.
- Cas and Jack have their deeply meaningful mirroring scene about feeling human whilst both sporting mirroring injuries from mirrored wounds and both being punched in the face. (Dabb loves mirrors so much I may send him a fruit and donut basket with a great big mirror inside too for shits and giggles). 
Cas and Jack’s scene is yet more exposition that neither are valid due to their powers but valid and loved for who they are. 
Just as Sam is feared by demons and respected by humans for who he is not due to any demon blood or destiny. 
Just as Dean is loved and will be saved by his family because of who he is not how useful he is as a tool.
I’m reminded of my tag #season who we are 13 because that was so set up in that season from Dabb’s own premiere, showing just how much he does hark back and have a clear and consistent thematic overview of his story. 
You may by this point see why I’m quite so done with the Dabb bashing on SM this week? How it’s totally inconsistent with the actual canon of the show? That he clearly knows exactly what he’s doing thematically even if he’s not so hot on small details and Bucklemming/Singer take turns dumping a turd into his and the others writers’ pot of gold every now and again? Yeah, thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.
- LET SAM SLEEP 2k19!!!
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sunshinemossboy · 6 years
Note
which is your fav ahs season
WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME I CAN'T DECIDE????!!
I'm just gonna be extra as hell and list my pros and cons... get ready for a long ass answer sorrynotsorry you're dealing with a writer here:
Murder House
just gonna say it - overrated
I do appreciate it because it sparked the rest of AHS
created some iconic characters
in hindsight, at least Tate is better than Kai
still a really good concept
a bit boring at times though
Jessica Lange is fucking superb
lowkey started trend of Lily Rabe's characters either dying or already being dead and me no likey that so much
Francis Conroy talking about men is always great but I liked the more subtle hints to her speeches this time
Asylum
LANA BANA BO BANA BANANA FANA FO FANA FE FI MO MANA, LANA
Sarah Paulson and Lily Rabe were ICONIC in this season holy fckin christ
so was Jessica Lange
and Zachary Quinto
basically the characters had really good like writing and rounding out and such
but wtf was with the alien subplot??
some damn good writing
while I do not approve of Sister Mary Satan raping the monsignor I can never get "There was a priest, the dirty beast, his name was Alexander. His mighty dick was inches thick, he called it Salamander" out of my head
Jude and Kit at the end was so sweet
Coven
honestly at times bit off more than they could chew with the subplots, not all of those were really resolved
Jessica Lange somehow even more iconic
same with Kathy Bates and Angela Bassett, what QUEENS
Foxxay
seriously both Misty and Cordelia are adorable on their own, and together I just can't handle it
STEVIE NICKS
the music in this season provokes an emotional response from me
"Can we please not move things? Some of us are blind!"
*stuffs bagels into bag* "Who's takin me home?"
Myrtle Snow calmly playing that instrument while Cordelia had a breakdown
those all black looks were good shit
Freak Show
this shit was SAD AS HELL
like literally how they killed all the characters was fucking gut wrenching
also Pepper? at Briarcliff?? seeing that magazine with Elsa on it??? I cry every time
once again proved the crazy talent of Sarah Paulson
at least Lily Rabe was kinda there
despite being a little shit Dandy was a great character
last time they had some really long episodes, or at least varied between 45 min and longer, which I liked bc I think it let them do quite a bit
I want Sarah Paulson's cover of Criminal to play at my funeral or my wedding or goddamn something ugh
"We might not be on a farm but something sure smells like bullshit to me" (paraphrased)
I can't believe they made me feel so damn bad for a scary clown dude, he didn't deserve that
Hotel
the fucking style? and music? SUPERB
"I FUCKING LIVE HERE"
when Iris was gonna off herself and made that video
I have a love/hate relationship with John Lowe 'cause he kinda stupid
Evan Peters looking like Spongebob as a fancy waiter
Lady Gaga and Matt Bomer drenched in blood
everything about Liz Taylor was like beautiful
somehow the vampire thing worked
could (should) have used literally any song other than hotline bling
Devil's Night was great but then they made an inconsistency with the zodiac killer in Cult
aT lEaSt LiLy RaBe WaS kInDa ThErE
loved it when Billie came back
Roanoke
enjoyed the documentary style and kudos to Ryan for doing something different
with that being said it was pretty predictable and cliche
so damn happy to see Lily Rabe back
favorite fan promo thing I saw: "Lily Rabe is back and she has a gluten allergy and questionable judgement" (paraphrased but hilarious and accurate)
wish they had time to round out the actor characters (Audrey, Monet, etc)
RIP an accent 2016-2016
still though, it brought some good people back into the cast
good call with Adina Porter, she's amazing
"I'm not American, I'm not used to all this carnage!"
honestly a lot of Audrey's lines were great
and her reaction to Shelby's death holy fuck that honestly startled me
Cricket Marlowe looking like Danny Devito in that one episode of Always Sunny
Cult
I liked how they worked phobias into it
a good deal of the sexual stuff just made me really uncomfortable, like especially when it was directed at Ally (or Ivy I guess), idk I think as a lesbian myself it felt like they were pushing all this phallic shit on her and challenging her sexuality which just really rubbed me the wrong way (my take on it, anyway)
Ally's character development though goddamn
Ally in general, she was so fckin cute ugh
I feel like they made Ivy too dislikable? like she could've had SOME redeeming qualities but nah
Kai was fucking awful
people shit on Winter as a character but I still think Billie Lourd acted wonderfully
why do all of Emma Roberts' characters have to be such bitches? lol
still don't know how I feel about it ending with Ally supposedly like becoming leader of the SCUM group or whatever
loved that they used extreme stereotypes of both conservatives and liberals
Apocalypse
they killed Venable too soon
she and Mead were so extra together I loved it
MISTY IS BAAAAACK
again, Foxxay (they better kiss and be happy by the end of this season I stg)
Cordelia's vision was terrifying, like she got her throat torn out jfc
if Cordelia (or, hell, even Billie) die too I'm going to be 2-3 times more heartbroken than I already am about Venable
especially excited to see Mallory's character develop
I both love and hate Michael Langdon
Leslie Grossman still getting all the wack, iconic one-liners
BD Wong being in it was lowkey hilarious to me bc I've only ever seen him in SVU before
"Because I'm the FUCKING Supreme"
can't wait to get more Billie Dean Howard
Jessica Lange! it's been so long, how ya been?
where the hell did Brock go after he broke in to kill Coco? did he just fuck off back into the wastelands?
Ryan, USE LILY RABE'S TALENT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD even if she doesn't stay for long this season (plz let Misty be okay and while I don't quite think it'll happen I'm still hoping to see Nora) bring her back sometime with another major character I miss her so much
I'm excited to see more!
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missytearex · 4 years
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Hi! So I’ve decided to do monthly recs instead of weekly recs from now on, which mean this list is kinda long, so I put all the under 10k fics under the cut, but be sure to check them out too! And remember to leave kudos and comments when you do ❤
Tired Tired Sea by @mediawhorefics — [fic post]
larry | 113k | mature
As a B&B owner on the most remote of all the British Isles, Louis Tomlinson is used to spending the coldest half of the year in complete isolation, with his dog and the sea as sole companions. Until, one day, a mysterious stranger on a quest to rebuild himself rents a room for the winter.
Not That Gone by @a-brighter-yellow --- [fic post]
larry | 61k | explicit
A few weeks after Louis and Harry, *ahem*, reconnect at their high school reunion, Harry temporarily moves back home. Louis isn't sure he has the emotional fortitude for a prolonged fling with the man of the dreams.
Play Pretend, Find a Friend? by @angelichl — [fic post]
larry | 40k | explicit
When Louis sees his ex-boyfriend kissing a random girl at a party, he acts out of blind jealousy. He kisses the first guy he can find. It turns into a thing.
INSPIRED BY CLOUDS.
I Just Want You to Stay by @sadaveniren --- [fic post]
larry | 34k | explicit
Louis and Harry have been roommates for four years, comfortable in their routine and their relationship. But all of that is about to change.
The Spaces Between Us by @justalittlelouislove — [fic post]
ziam | 33k | explicit
Liam is a ghost bound to nothing, feeling nothing. Until he finds Zayn and learns what it means to feel everything.
Give A Little Sing To The Singles by @londonfoginacup --- [fic post]
larry | 31k | teen and up
Harry Styles is an adult now, with a real adult job (and benefits! Whatever those are!). He spends his days at the copier. Copying things.
That being said, no one told Harry that being an adult came with a confusingly chaotic boss, a copier machine that would be hell-bent on ruining his life, and a coworker so good looking that Harry might just have to quit. After all, Christmas is coming and if their office doesn’t win the decorating contest, Louis has threatened to break several laws and kneecaps in retaliation.
Happy Christmas, here’s to many more.
The Goat Guy of Bethlehem by @lululawrence --- [fic post]
larry | 25k | not rated
every year, Harry and his family attend a church festival called Bethlehem. Harry's freshman year of high school Bethlehem expands, bringing in new vendors, including one that just might change everything for Harry. But first, he has to see if Anne and Robin are willing to part with him for the price of a few goats.
reach the stars by @disgruntledkittenface — [fic post]
horshaw | 19k | mature
Spring 2021. Four years after breaking up with Louis and moving to New York with his best friend Aimee, Nick runs into Niall and they start dating. When their relationship gets serious, Nick struggles to tell Niall how much he means to him.
Everything I Do by Anonymous — [fic post]
larry | 16k | explicit
the one where Harry finds a book of Elizabethan courtship rituals which sets in motion a series of events that can lead to only one conclusion.
High Heels, Red Dress by Anonymous --- [fic post]
larry | 15k | explicit
Louis answers the call when Pearl Harbor is attacked and there is no way around it. The United States is at war. Hiding his queer identity isn't so hard until he attracts the attention of a particular soldier. It's all lies and secrets until the war is finally over. Maybe then Louis can finally have his happy ending. It's up to fate to decide.
when half spent was the night by @juliusschmidt --- [fic post]
larry | 14k | mature
Hi Harry,
I’ve skimmed your website and am interested in hiring you to be my doula. I’m 7 ½ months pregnant and not keen to do this whole labor and birth thing alone. After looking around, I thought you might be a good fit because you mention enjoying unusual people with unusual birth requests. I can meet up any day this week.
Lou
You are the feeling of drugs, pulling the chain of my love by @peujeune — [fic post]
tomlinshaw | 10k | explicit
Louis gets bored with all the questions by the next week and tells everyone, in no uncertain terms, to fuck off, in a Facebook post he subsequently deletes the next day. Instead, he chooses to ignore all his friends.
And text Nick.
you’ve set my soul to dreaming by @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed — [fic post]
larry | 9k | teen and up
Thirty year old Harry Styles goes to bed single on Christmas Eve, only to wake up on Christmas morning with a husband in his bed and a son down the hall.
The Truth I Can’t Explain (Smoke and Mirrors) by @fallinglikethis — [fic post]
larry | 9k | mature
Louis Tomlinson scans the horizon. It’s dark, but his werewolf eyes are equipped for that. He sees clearly in the inky black of the forest around them. He and every other wolf can see the moment the first blood mage crosses the boundary into their compound. The mages must think they’ve disabled the wards on the edges of the boundary but the wolves did that themselves when they found out the mages were coming. Louis’ pack has opened the door and put down the welcome mat. It’s up to the mages whether that mat becomes stained in blood.
on the same page by Anonymous — [fic post]
larry | 8k | mature
The one where Louis doesn’t know what the hell is going on.
You’re a Nightmare, I’m a Disaster by @lululawrence --- [fic post]
tomlinshaw | 7k | not rated
the one where Nick is a writer, Louis works in a bookshop, and things don’t exactly start off on the right foot, but they might just end on it.
The Gingerbread Show Off by @homosociallyyours --- [fic post]
larry | 6k | general audiences
The Gingerbread Show Off is the biggest event of the year at Harry's still sort of new to him job, and when he's given a spot to compete in it he's beyond excited. When he realizes that he's going to be paired up with Louis, the man who's been sneakily stealing his ideas since almost their first day of working together, he's understandably frustrated.
He still wants to win, though, and he's not going to let his office enemy bring him down.
The Circle of Life is Not a Circle, it’s a Stick by @lounonymouse --- [fic post]
tomlinshaw | 5k | teen and up
This is a story about Louis, his husband Nick, their daughter Ella, and her pet stick insect Mr Sticky McStick-Face.
B-Sides & C-Cuts by @bitter-leaf — [fic post]
shiall | 5k | teen and up
Niall’s stuck in Toronto the day before Christmas Eve. Shawn plans to make the most of it.
A Not So Silent Night by @lightwoodsmagic --- [fic post]
ziam | 5k | teen and up
Liam's had a crush on Zayn for months, every time they talk on the phone just making him grow fonder. He's just never met him in real life. When he finally gets to meet him, it turns out that he can't take his eyes off him dancing on the table at the bank's Christmas party. Especially when he starts taking off his sweater.
Summer Love by Anonymous — [fic post]
larry | 5k | teen and up
Summers at his lake house are Harry’s favorite time of the year. They’re treasured moments in time spent with Louis, his favorite person. The boy with the bluest eyes, the brightest smile and loudest laugh. Harry’s best friend for all of his summers. He’s gonna marry him someday. All that Louis needs to do is ask him - again.
my heart got caught on your sleeve by @foliealou  — [fic post]
tomlinshaw | 5k | general audiences
Louis Tomlinson decides to come out: a story in three acts.
it's getting bluer (and you can't keep faking) by @dinoflangellate --- [fic post]
nessie | 4k | explicit
For a second, Niall can’t move, pinned in place by Bressie’s casual words. Get you sorted could mean so many things, things he wants, and his brain almost explodes.
I Knew From The First Time by Anonymous --- [fic post]
larry | 4k | teen and up
Harry spent weeks picking out a gorgeous ring, and months planning every little detail of the perfect anniversary trip to propose to Louis. Except it doesn't go as planned and the ring disappears.
Harry Styles Plays with Kittens While Answering Questions by @sadaveniren — [fic post]
larry | 4k | teen and up
Louis runs a Youtube channel and Harry is his celebrity guest
to love you in word and deed by Anonymous — [fic post]
larry | 4k | general audiences
Louis loves everything about living with Harry. Except for Harry’s effusive proposals. Because the problem is, it’s getting harder and harder for Louis to keep reacting like they’re jokes.
Roll the Dice by @allwaswell16 — [fic post]
larry | 3k | explicit
Louis has been in love with Harry since they were eighteen. It isn’t until Harry’s thirtieth birthday in Las Vegas that Louis must finally decide to either tell Harry how he feels or let him marry someone else.
molecular by @dinoflangellate — [fic post]
zouis | 3k | teen and up
The team pushes into the lab, jostling each other through the sliding glass doors. Eenie, meenie, miney, mo. There they are, the four of them, present and accounted for. Louis shoves his way in last, looking sweaty and triumphant, and the hand around Zayn’s heart finally unclenches.
Unto You by @londonfoginacup — [fic post]
larry | 3k | teen and up
Louis is a lamplighter celebrating the saturnalia season in his own way.
Harry is heavily pregnant and new in the city.
The holiday of Christmas is yet to be created.
Brring Brring (that’s the land line) by Anonymous — [fic post]
larry | 3k | general audiences
Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles have been dating for six months and two weeks.
It’s one in the morning, and the phone rings.
Snowdrops and Mice Pops by @ohharold --- [fic post]
larry | 3k | teen and up
The boys are stuck at Hogwarts over Christmas incapable of taking the Hogwarts Express back to London. A botched together friends Christmas would have to do.
step into christmas by leighbot
zarry | 2k | general audiences
the one where Zayn's written a Christmas book for children and Harry brings his son to a local reading.
Oh Valley Girl by @londonfoginacup — [fic post]
larry | 2k | general audiences
Out past the rolling hills and the churning sea sits a little fishing village, nestled in a valley where its residents are protected from the elements, as well as from the outside world as a whole.
Harry lives in this little fishing village, and she loves nothing more than feeling the earth beneath her and seeing the sky above her and sometimes dreaming of adventure.
Then one day a ship arrives.
Tricks and Treats by @homosociallyyours --- [fic post]
larry | 1k | general audiences
wherein Louis receives a package not intended for him, Harry has a brilliant idea, and the two of them meet properly at a Halloween party.
Gratuitous puns, bone® jokes, and creepy neighbors abound!
This Is Halloween by @hadtobelou --- [fic post]
larry | 1k | explicit
Louis' Halloween doesn't go as planned.
Scarily Incompatible by soidiallednine 
larry | 666 | general audiences
Harry seems perfect for Louis. Lottie certainly thinks so. But one really scary choice by Harry will doom them before they start.
something weird (but it do look good) by @uhohmorshedios — [fic post]
larry | 666 | teen and up
Harry’s upset that Louis didn’t appreciate his attempt to put a very-Harry twist on a Halloween meme and Louis tries his best to make it up to him.
take my hand (i won’t let go) by @tempolarriefix — [fic post]
larry | 666 | general audiences
in which zayn and liam are in love, niall doesn’t want to third wheel, louis hates scary things, and harry works in a haunted house.
aka the ficlet haunted house meet-cute that you never knew you needed.
The Devil Went Down to Georgia by @kingsofeverything — [fic post]
larry | 666 | general audiences
Louis just wants to fall in love for eternity.
the future reflected by @louandhazaf — [fic post]
larry | 666 | not rated
Louis didn’t take the stupid game seriously. Maybe he should’ve.
The Literal Gates of Hell by @evilovesyou — [fic post]
larry | 666 | general audiences
Louis has a passion for the supernatural and tends to drag his friends into his ghost and demon hunting adventures. His guardian angel isn’t too pleased when they set out to find one of the actual gates of hell.
You Win by @ziamhaze --- [fic post]
ziam | 666 | general audiences
Based off this AU: A werewolf finds a human who is strolling in the woods late at night, and just before the werewolf goes to attack the human, the human then starts to beat box and the werewolf is too intrigued to attack them.
I Still Follow by @smoke-flowers — [fic post]
zarry | 606 | general audiences
The sky is cloaked in black velvet, but he swears he sees stars.
167 notes · View notes
foxtophat · 4 years
Link
another long one, coming in at 9k words because i am goddamn trash
HEY GUYS SORRY ABOUT THAT UGH today just didn’t go the way i wanted it to. you ever feel like that?  well anyway here is the 11th chapter!!! fun fact: hurk and sharky show up! second fun fact: i am 90% sure that it is not moonshine they’re peddling.  3rd fun fact: i don’t know if they know what an apple looks like any more
i don’t have much to say about this chapter, although i will say it involves casual drinking if you’re not into that.  i think i’m gonna go have a newcastle myself once i’m done writing this up... which i guess means now!
as usual my dudes, i want to thank you all for being so tolerant of my bullshit and so open to my dumbassery! it’s so nice to feel MOTIVATED to post for once, which might not come through when i get delayed like i have the last 2 chapters, but it’s true! i have so much trouble working on things without feedback, so you guys really have been awesome.
if you wanna contact me, my askbox is always open! as always, i appreciate any and all comments, kudos, likes, reblogs, casual links, private discord messages, idk whatever i don’t even use discord
below the cut is the full chapter for those of you who don’t wanna go off-site! thank you again for reading guys, and i will talk incessantly about this fic soon!!!
The next three days are marked by a surprising peace. Nick had suspected that once the cat got out about John, they would be fielding a flurry of calls, or maybe even some in-person confrontations, but so far they've been left completely alone. Maybe telling people on their way out of the county has something to do with that. Maybe they'll need to wait for Hurk and Sharky to come back and spread the news if Jerome's decided not to do it himself. Nick's not sure if that's even what he wants , but it feels like the inevitable next step. Eventually, if the community is going to come together, the cat's gonna have to get out of the bag.
John is just as nervous than before, although it only shows whenever they hear distant engines or a far-off gunshot. The night after the caravan, he and Jerome spend a full thirty minutes on the radio, but it only makes him more pensive and reserved. Nick wouldn't mind so much if Carmina weren't also acting bummed out — sure, she's just upset that she lost a friend before she could make one, but it still sucks to see his daughter acting as morose as John.
At least Kim's optimism hasn't been phased. She's been determined to look at the situation from every positive angle available, and none of Nick's uncertainty has put a hamper on it. She rallies them all for a second day-trip down to the river, hell-bent on cheering each and every one of them. It's a day of sunlight and clear water, and the fish are jumping like mad. It must be spawning season, or something, because the suckers are easy pickings.
The nice weather and the easy fishing both do wonders for Carmina's mood, which is becoming more and more fickle every day. Nick dozes in and out with a rod in hand, and although John spends most of the time staring at the water, he touches base with reality once in a while. Mostly just when Kim includes him in conversation, but it's still enough.
It's... nice. Nick doesn't know the last time he felt so relaxed. He doesn't think that memory exists anymore, lost to time like so many other positive thoughts, but he's enjoying the reminder to relax his shoulders and turn off his anxious brain for a few minutes. With the sunshine just as warm as ever and the water a bright, nearly unnatural blue, Nick figures all they need is an umbrella and some beach towels to drive the point home. Hell, at this point, they might as well claim this as their private waterfront.
Grace shows up after breakfast the next day, ready to take Carmina for some target practice at her range. She isn't strictly speaking to Nick yet, but she keeps it cordial, even friendly with Kim. Maybe Jerome talked with her, or maybe she came to accept the situation on her own, who knows. Either way, Grace ignores the sight of John out on the back porch and treats Carmina to a genuine smile when she comes downstairs, rifle in hand. Finally, three-quarters of the year later, the situation with Grace has finally returned to normal, taking one more weight off of Nick's shoulders.
She promises to have Carmina back before sundown. She also promises to leave her radio on, just in case. Nick knows what she means by just in case , but he can't say no to the added security.
Nick retreats out back, letting Kim have some time with Grace without the awkward tension of his presence. John pointedly refuses to look at him, sorting through a box of components as though he hasn't already picked it apart.
It isn't until after Grace and Carmina leave that Nick remembers he has an out — well, now it's just a regular chore. He's got to deal with the so-called freezer in the hangar, which is full of fish and sucking up all the fuel for the generator. Either he has to make it viable to use long term, or they're going to be shit out of luck for food preservation beyond salting and pickling.
From the look on his face, John wishes Nick would ask for his help, but Kim has already called on him to help harvest the last of the spring planter, so he's shit out of luck there. Nick doesn't have any damn sympathy for John — gardening is boring, and Nick will do anything to avoid it, especially something as easy as throwing John under a bus.
So, the good news is that the freezer still turns on. Nick hadn't expected much after finding it under part of the collapsed roof, but it hasn't shorted out once since they hooked it up to the generator about a week ago.
The bad news is that it's not a good use of power at all. The rubber seal is nearly worn off, so it keeps losing coolness, and there's definitely a coil burnt out or something in there because it barely manages to keep its temperature lower than the air around it. Sure, maybe it'll come in handy around winter , but that's not going to help them with summer around the corner.
As it is, Nick's only sure that the fish from yesterday are still good. There's a covered pot of stew underneath that they put in after the caravan left, which is probably fine, too... but Nick wouldn't put money on the rabbit they put in at the start. After all, it hadn't been all that fresh to begin with, and it's been wrapped in cloth for a little too long.
Well, maybe once they get some chickens and find a post-apocalyptic appliance repair center, it'll be worth being the energy sink that it is. For now, Nick has to figure out what to do with these goddamn fish and the leftover stew from the other night. It's their own damn fault, thinking they'd still have company after revealing John, but that doesn't change the amount of food they have on hand.
At least when Grace comes back, they'll have something to repay her with, although Nick isn't sure she's willing to eat any of their food yet. She'd been okay about seeing John in the backyard, relatively speaking, but there's no way she actually believes any of the progress being made. And as much as Nick would like to tell her that her distrust is unwarranted, he can't exactly tell her how to feel. It's just gonna have to take time, and she's going to need a different kind of proof than Nick.
They aren't expecting any visitors, so the sound of engines on approach shakes Nick out of his thoughts and puts him on immediate high alert. He can't make out the number of vehicles, but it sounds like a goddamn posse, which can't be good. When he goes out into the yard to check on Kim, he finds her missing; John is the only one standing there, waiting nervously by the planters and looking for any sign to bolt.
"Stay here," Nick tells him as he approaches, heading straight for the front.
"Yes, I know ," John snaps, but Nick isn't going to stop to argue with him. He slows his anxious jog as he comes around the side of the house, catching sight of Hurk's motorcycle through the trees coming down the drive. Kim is standing in the front yard, arms loosely folded over her chest; she looks cautiously excited for the company, although neither of them are sure if this is strictly a social call. Nick sure hopes it is — he's not sure they could hold their own against a group with an RPG and a whole lot of crazy.
Hurk kills his engine once he sees they've got an audience, leaving his bike with the others in the drive. The big, blissed-out guy and the smaller, wild-card one stay on their bikes, while Sharky talks to somebody sitting on his ATV briefly before following his cousin's tracks.
Kim greets them with a warm smile as they come up. "Hey, you guys. We weren't expecting you to stop by again."
"We radioed ahead," Sharky grouses. "But nobody answered."
"Sorry, I wasn't near the receiver. We've been out back all day."
Hurk pulls off his sunglasses with a dramatic flair. "Yeah, I figured it was something like that," he says, with a tone that implies Sharky had a different theory, one Nick imagines involves John staging some sort of coup. "Well, whatever, we're here now!" Looking around coolly for a second, Hurk realizes he still needs to explain himself and bashfully elaborates, " Somebody oughtta know we got back alright, so we can get hired out again and whatnot..."
"Everything cool?" Sharky asks. He makes no effort to hide how he's looking for a fire that he can blame on John. Well, at least he's trying to find a good reason to beat John up this time.
"I should be asking you that," Kim counters, wearing a smile that's enough to disarm Sharky's gruff posturing. "How far did you get?"
"We hit Great Falls before we figured any further was a one-way trip. They're probably past Missoula if they kept up the clip."
"And how'd everything look?" Nick asks. "I mean, relatively speaking."
Sharky shrugs. "A whole lot of the same," he replies. Hurk rolls his eyes in his cousin's direction, fixing him with an annoyed stare that eventually wears Sharky out. Shoulders slumping in defeat, he opens up semi-reluctantly. "It wasn't the, uh... wild wasteland I was expecting. Lots of empty land and road stops. Some friendly, some... uh, not so much. But that group can handle it."
Nick is happy to agree, and not just to placate Sharky. "Yeah," he says. "Hope County breeds tough people."
"Did you guys pick up somebody along the way?" Kim asks, having just done a headcount of the remaining posse. Nick remembers the two on their bikes; the new guy, he remembers from the third car, quiet and quick to leave but otherwise unmemorable.
"Oh, that's Mud," Sharky says, pointing at the three who probably can't hear much over the rumbling engines. "He was with the caravan, but he changed his mind." Sharky's chest puffs up as he confidently tells them, "He's ridin' with us now."
"That's great!" Kim exclaims. She's genuinely excited by the news and the chance to socialize, and the effect of her positivity is hard to fight. Sharky can't help but smile back, even if he's trying to act tough, rubbing his hands together as he casts another approving glance back at his gang.
"Are you going to do anything to celebrate?" she asks.
"Not much to celebrate, he's kind of a nerd."
"Come on," Kim laughs. "You left home and came back with more people than you started with. I think most people these days would count that as a win." She rubs her hands together, looking briefly at Nick and suggesting, "We could have a fish fry?"
"Hey, that's an idea," Nick replies. "We caught some bass yesterday and they're just gonna get composted if we don't do something with them."
"I dunno about that," Sharky says, cutting off Hurk just before he can excitedly agree.
Kim presses her hands together. "Come on, stay," she pleads with a smile. "At least let us feed you. When's the last time you had something more than jerky and booze?"
"Well..." Sharky trails off uncertainly.
"Kim's right," Nick cajoles. "We got plenty to spare."
"Grace is going to be back with Carmina in a few hours," Kim adds. "I'm sure she'd be glad to see you guys."
Sharky rubs his beard, looking back at their waiting posse. "Grace, huh?" he repeats. He trades a few unsubtle glances with Hurk before finally turning back to Kim and Nick. "Yeah, that should be okay. Except — ah, shit. We promised Wallace and Tiny we'd start doing things democratically now that we won't keep tying over everything. Hold on, gotta go confer with the boys."
They only spend a minute talking it over before the two motorcycles kill their engines, which is all the confirmation Nick needs to know they're hosting company. "I'll go tell John," he tells Kim under his breath. "Somebody should give him a heads up before Sharky punches him again."
Kim sends him off with a pat on his shoulder as he heads for the backyard. John is still waiting by the planters, although he's staring longingly for the safety of the hangar. Nick can't blame him — he's still sporting a dark and noticeable bruise from the last time Sharky socked him. Hopefully, seeing his lingering handiwork will satisfy Sharky, otherwise, John might wind up with a matching set.
"Sharky and Hurk are back," Nick says. John doesn't exactly relax, but knowing he doesn't have to prepare for another ugly reintroduction keeps him from bolting. "They're, uh, gonna stick around until Grace gets back."
"Then I probably shouldn't be around," John replies.
"What, you wanna go hide all night?" Nick rolls his eyes. "No, don't be a baby. Worst that'll happen is you'll get knocked down again." John doesn't look convinced, so Nick tries another route. "Come on, we went through all that just so you wouldn't have to hide out every time we have company. And people are gonna have to get used to you eventually — at least Sharky and Hurk already know you're alive." Finally, when none of that seems to work, he sighs and promises, "I'll make sure nobody decks you for no good reason, c'mon."
John finally relents, sighing and gesturing vaguely. "Fine," he says, "Whatever you say."
And, even though Kim isn't around to force him to it, John sits back down at the planter and resumes pulling carrots. It's probably entirely out of spite, but at least it keeps him busy while the posse of would-be raiders filters into the backyard. Nick stands awkwardly at first as Wallace and Tiny stare aggressively at John's back, but when Kim rounds out the group and nobody takes a shot at either of them, he forces himself to ease up on the suspicion. From here on out, Nick is going to try his damnedest to act like everything is absolutely normal. Well, as normal as it can be.
Kim has Sharky talking from the outset, which makes it easy for him to avoid acknowledging John at all. It helps that she's genuinely interested in what he's been up to since they last saw each other — other than open-channel conversations on the radio, the Ryes haven't seen them since the world ended. With only one car and not a lot of fuel, they haven't had a chance to go exploring the east side of the county since climbing topside.
As it turns out, Sharky and Hurk have shacked right back up at the old trailer park. They'd met up with Wallace and Tiny sometime after coming topside, and right now the four of them are in the middle of making the park more hospitable. Sharky keeps mentioning a reception area, and Hurk says something about expanding the lot, so Nick suspects they're looking to cash in on the heretofore abandoned hospitality industry.
For now, though, it's just home to four wildcards and one multi-use distillery made from old airplane parts. "It's pretty much fucked," Sharky says, although truthfully, Nick thinks it sounds kind of badass. "But with enough elbow grease, we'll probably be able to make it livable." He looks around, craning his neck to eyeball the mostly-intact hangar and their secure house, and offers a genuine compliment. "You guys got lucky. No hate, just glad you had somewhere to hole up in. It would suck to really have to rough it with a kid around."
"Tell me about it," Kim agrees emphatically. "Although, it took a lot of work to make it this nice, and there's still a lot more to do."
Sharky and Hurk settling in around the fire-pit is all the invitation their crew needs to make themselves more at home. It's no surprise that they pretend like John isn't there — nor is it a surprise that John returns the favor. It's a little tense and a lot awkward for Nick, but for now it's at least a peaceful holding pattern.
"It sorta sucked, seeing everything as trashed as it is here," Tiny says somewhat morosely. "I mean, at least we ain't alone, but..."
"Hope Valley got the best of it in general," Wallace says. "Right in the sweet-spot. Ideal Collapse."
"He means most everything else got blasted," Tiny clarifies, a sort of post-Bliss interpreter. "You can tell when you leave the county. Eases up after a couple of miles, but there's, like, a big old ring around us."
"No doubt, no doubt," Wallace agrees. "Protecting the good stuff."
"It's pretty fuckin' weird," Hurk says. "But I don't know nothin' about nu-clear thermodynamics and whatnot. Could be normal as the albino deer and shit."
"Uh, you think that the caravan's gonna be okay out there, if everything's just as wrecked?" Nick asks.
"Oh, sure," Hurk drawls. "There were all sortsa people makin' due out there, one way or another. They'll be fine ."
Sharky sighs, opens his mouth, then thinks better of whatever he was going to say and changes course. "They made it pretty clear they would be happier without help," he says. "Hope that works out for them. Me? I'm ride-or-die Hope County. At least 'til Hurk here goes international again. Then, uh, I guess I'm gonna be ride-or-die Miami."
"Hell yeah!" Hurk shouts. "Gonna get the business back in business, y'know what I mean? First stop: check in on mama and Xander. Second stop: top of the world, baby!"
The posse rallies around Hurk's promise with excited whoops. Nick doesn't know what Hurk's job was before the apocalypse, but considering the contraband he used to get his hands on, it's probably something that will only flourish here in the apocalypse.
"'Course, she's probably dead," Hurk adds somewhat morosely at the end, sort of ruining the whole vibe.
Sharky slaps his shoulder a few times out of sympathy. "Don't know 'til we go lookin'," he says, which manages to prop Hurk's mood back up for the time-being. "Anyway, we got a whole slew of islands and mountains and shit to explore once we get established. Spending the rest of my life riding around Montana sounds like a waste of a good apocalypse, if you ask me."
The new guy, Mud, looks more confused than Nick about these future plans. "So, what'd they offer you for joining up?" Nick asks him. "Ten-percent of Boshaw-Drubman LLC?"
Startled, Mud shakes his head frantically. "No way. Uh-uh." Bashfully, he says, "I just, uh... got cold feet. But I don't got much out here, not since the, uh..." He glances past Nick, definitely eyeballing John, then swallows and edges around the truth. "Well, um, Sharky let me ride back, on account of the — well, uh, I didn't wanna get left behind either direction. And since I don't got anything, I offered to join up." He frowns, "Except I don't have a bike, or gas for a bike, or a gun, or bullets for a gun..."
"I told you," Sharky scolds like a mother hen, "We'll figure that shit out later."
"It's smart to stay together," Kim says when Mud fails to pick back up again. "It's what we should all be doing. Does that mean you're staying with them at the trailer park?"
Mud nods, while Tiny goodnaturedly jokes, "Not that there's much left to stay at..."
Sharky is quick to defend their home, even if he doesn't sound super convinced by his own argument. "Hey, we just haven't had time to, y'know, clean and all! We've been busy, man, you know that! Gathering ammo, building the still, brewing ..."
"Would be nice to have a roof over our heads, that's all," Tiny laughs.
"Where do you want me to go, the roof store ?"
The argument is mostly playful, but Nick knows it's only a matter of time before that playful resentment becomes real. Hurk already looks bored by the ribbing, which tells Nick a lot about how long this joke has been running. Even John is paying attention, although Nick only catches an uncomfortable backward glance.
It's a contentious problem for the gang, for sure. But Nick doesn't have to reach far to come up with an easy solution, one that he figures will benefit everybody involved. After all, even considering their own needs, they've got more than enough spare scrap to spare, and Hurk and Sharky's goodwill comes with guns and alcohol, so...
"You know," he says, "John and I found a lot of scrap cleaning this place up. Maybe you can use what we can't."
Sharky opens his mouth to say something, probably pretty rude, but he catches himself before he gets that far. "Wouldn't want to put you out like that," he mutters.
"Hey, we're all in it together, right?" Gesturing towards John, who looks like he'd rather fade back into the dirt around him, Nick offers a sort-of compromise. "We've been trying to figure out what to do with the surplus. This seems like a better use than anything we came up with."
"Well, I guess it couldn't hurt," Sharky admits reluctantly.
Kim recognizes the need for some decisive action, and so she claps her hands together and takes the reins from her grateful husband. "Nick, you and John should take Hurk to look at what we've got. Then, all three of you can bring some wood back so we can get the fire started."
Sharky opens his mouth to object, but Hurk speaks up before he can. "Sounds good!" he exclaims, throwing himself to his feet with ease. Nick can't help but envy him — the guy's got twenty years on him, but Nick doesn't hear his knees popping randomly when he stands up.
"Y'all don't go startin' trouble," he warns his gang, waving Nick on. "Let's do it!"
John turns and heads immediately for the hangar door, disappearing inside without a backwards glance. Hurk lingers once they reach the door, casting a wide look around the empty wash of dirt leading out to the old landing strip before following John inside. He doesn't seem concerned in the slightest that John might be waiting to ambush him.
"Sorry about Sharky, by the way," Hurk says once the three of them are standing in the shade of the tarp overhead. "He's been real stressed is all, tryin' to act all fuckin' responsible and shit. John here making it after the deputy beefed it just hit hard, I guess."
Well, if that's the way Hurk's been referring to it, then no wonder Sharky's sensitive about it. "It's, uh. It's fine. We figured there'd be some... y'know. Reasonable resentment."
John does that thing where he pretends he can't hear he's being talked about, going straight to the log pile stacked against the back wall. Hurk doesn't seem to notice the silent treatment, turning to the organized junk spread out over the cracked concrete. From broken two-by-fours, bent fence-poles, chainlink scraps, and stacks of not-quite-moldy plywood, there's gotta be something here that can help fix up the trailer park. Nick makes sure to highlight the best scrap for Hurk's consideration, although he avoids mentioning their surplus of nails and stripped screws for now. No use showing his whole hand, right?
"Damn," Hurk says at last, looking around in mild astonishment. "Can we hire y'all to do this to our scrap?"
Nick laughs. "Yeah, like I wanna do all this again ."
"What about you?" Hurk asks John's back, ignoring the way he tenses at being directly addressed. "How do we rent you out?"
"You don't," John says, his tone briefly icing over as he turns, regarding them coolly over his armful of logs. He's more petulant than angry when he explains, "I don't owe you my life, so I don't owe you my labor."
"Fine, I'll just save you from a burning building or some shit," Hurk replies, as if he couldn't care less that it's John Seed he's bantering with. "I guess we gotta talk trading, now," he sighs reluctantly. "Man, I fuckin' hate this barter-system bullshit. You know, actually, I got a box full of bottle caps if you wanna..."
Nick waves away the extremely bad offer to invest in an unbacked currency. "Hey, don't worry about it," he says. Hurk frowns heavily at that, so Nick suggests a compromise. "Look, if you and Sharky wind up with your own microbrew, you owe me a case — and yes, I will take payment in installments. That sound fair?"
"If ?" Hurk replies. He lets out a big laugh. "Buddy, I got news for you."
Hurk, John and Nick each take an armful of wood back to the fire pit, where Kim seems to have everything under control. Sharky is less openly hostile when John reappears, anyway, which is a good sign. Mud and Tiny have apparently been given fire-starting duty, jumping to the task as soon as they drop off the wood. Sharky, a true pyromaniac, manages them from his seat by shouting directions at them as they stack the wood in the pit.
Before they can sit back down, Kim turns Nick and John back around for the fish. It's a one-person job, but John doesn't complain about being sent away.
"You okay?" Nick asks John when they reach the freezer.
"Yes," John replies automatically. Nick stares at him for a solid five seconds before he cracks with a frustrated sigh. "I'm just a little overwhelmed. That's reasonable, isn't it?"
"Sure," Nick agrees. He picks up the old bin they've been using to cart fish back from the river. "You can stick around here for a bit if you want. Take a breather."
John scoffs at the idea of taking a break, as per usual. "I thought the point was not to hide," he replies tersely. He reaches out to yank the cracked plastic container from Nick, a frustrated and instinctive reaction that he curbs at the last moment, fingers curling briefly into a fist as he forces himself not to just take things from Nick.
Taking pity on the dumb bastard, Nick pushes the bin into John's arms, flipping open the freezer door and staring down at the slimy, not-yet-smelly fish. "Well, if you need a break, just say you're gonna get more firewood." Nick shrugs. "Someone's gotta check on you eventually, but Kim knows the drill."
John doesn't respond as Nick loads up the bin, but Nick hopes he takes the out to heart. There's not a social obligation out there that Nick hasn't gotten out of by dedicating himself to some dumbass chore nobody else wants to do.
They return to find a roaring fire that is... hopefully under control. The mismatched seating has been pulled back to accommodate the fire's larger-than-average size, accompanied by a couple of chairs from inside to make up the difference. Sharky and Mud have disappeared, although they return just after Nick, each carrying a variety of bottles and jars of different sizes.
"Shit, I didn't think you brought the entire brewery with you!" Nick exclaims, not in the least bit upset by the development.
"Not until you clean all those up," Kim says before Nick can get ahead of himself. "You don't want to be handling a knife right after a shot of... whatever that is."
Nick groans, but she's right. As much as Nick would like to get drunk off his ass on torpedo juice, he has to get his priorities straight. Still — there's a lot more fish than Nick's willing to handle by himself, so he enlists a willing Wallace and Tiny to help out. He picks them mostly because they're openly carrying hunting knives, and because John is just plain bad at deboning fish. John stares at him resentfully, but since he hates handling food as much as he hates gardening, Nick's sure he'll get over it before dinner.
Nick doesn't have much control over the food once it's been cleaned, as Sharky and Hurk have some kind of bet going about who's the better cook and they don't need anybody else throwing their hat in. As far as Nick's concerned, their cooking tastes delicious but indistinguishable. Of course, Nick's waiting for his own dinner, so other than a few bites to try and judge the difference, he doesn't get to eat much of it.
Tiny and Wallace split and down an entire mason jar of mysterious dark liquor while they wait to eat. Nick wants to join them, but Kim's waiting until Carmina is home to start drinking and really, Nick should be doing the same. From the way John's watching distrustfully from the side, he's not likely to get into any moonshine himself.
Nick manages to hold out until after he's finished eating, but then Hurk offers him some moonshine directly and he can't say no. It would be in bad taste, right?
Oof. Turns out the moonshine is in bad taste, but that's what he should expect from something that's easily 120 proof. Nick takes one swig and immediately regrets it as it turns his chapped lips to fire and carries the heat all the way down the back of his throat. There's no taste or anything, just an intense, full-mouth burn and this lizard-brain instinct that everything is going to go horribly wrong if he drinks more of whatever that is.
"Jesus Christ !" he gasps. It's only Hurk's quick reflexes that keep the jar from crashing to the dirt, but Nick doubles down before Hurk can pry it out of his hands. Even as he struggles to form a sentence more complex than, " Poison ," he's got to go back for a second sip. As if somehow a second one would make things better — but of course it doesn't. At least, not to begin with; first, it's gotta turn his shredded lips inside out and throw his tear-ducts into overdrive better than an overripe onion.
"Well don't drink more of it," Kim huffs, way too late.
"Now be honest," Hurk asks, "Can you taste any apple?"
Nick pushes the jar back into Hurk's attentive hands, choking disbelievingly on the word, "Apple ," although now that he thinks about it... No, nope, no after-taste whatsoever. It does , however, warm him from the inside out, leaving him feeling a decent buzz for two conservative swigs.
"Whatever it is," Nick sighs at last, after a big swig of water, "It's great."
"You know," Kim says, "The sooner we put the stew on the fire, the sooner you can eat. Maybe then you could handle more than a couple of baby sips."
Nick clicks his tongue, taking some childish offense at his wife teasing him about his tolerance. At the same time, she's right — and Nick is getting hungry. There's still enough uncooked fish left for when Grace and Carmina get home, but if he wants them to have as much as everyone else, he'll have to settle for the three-day-old stew. At least Kim and John are stuck in the same boat as him.
Before he can get started on that, though, Grace surprises him by returning early with Carmina. Admittedly, it's still pretty late in the afternoon, but he hadn't expected her back so soon. She isn't surprised to find company, which is also a surprise, although she eyes the whole group somewhat distrustfully as she and Carmina round the side of the house. When she sees Hurk and Sharky drinking from their unsanitized brewing bottles, she finally relaxes, letting go of Carmina's shoulder so that she can join the not-necessarily child-safe group.
"Grace!" Sharky exclaims, leaping from his seat and almost grabbing her for a hug before remembering personal boundaries are a thing. "Holy shit, the world literally ended last I saw you!"
Grace returns Sharky's enthusiasm with her more subdued version of it, smiling fondly and following through the rest of the hug for him, the same way she'd grabbed onto Nick and Kim when they'd first come back topside. "Sharky, it's good to see you," she says, her voice deep with emotion.
"I radioed her while you were getting firewood," Kim mentions to Nick as Hurk takes his chance to get a hug from the usually reclusive sniper. "I thought she would appreciate a head's up. And, you know, it cheered Sharky up."
"Hey, good thinking."
Carmina approaches gleefully, carrying the rifle over her shoulder triumphantly. For a nine-year-old, she's pretty natural with the thing, which is a mixed blessing as far as Nick's concerned.
"Aunt Grace made moving targets!" she exclaims, excitement overriding her confusion momentarily until she looks at the group. "I didn't know we were having people over today..."
"It was a happy surprise," Kim tells her. "These are the guys who were helping that caravan heading west, remember?"
"Yeah," Carmina says. She looks immediately to John, who is way too busy staring tensely at Grace and Sharky's reunion to notice her.
"Don't worry," Nick says. "Everything's fine."
"Uh-huh," Carmina says, unconvinced. Thankfully, she doesn't seem too worried about another fight breaking out. That probably has something to do with her attention being focused in an entirely different direction. "Do we have pulleys? I wanna make a shooting range here! It's really easy!"
Nick's gut reaction is to say no, but Kim interrupts him. "Maybe while your dad is getting the stew, he can check," she offers, looking from Carmina to Nick significantly. "Then we can have some dinner and talk about it."
Although it looked like John hadn't been paying any attention before, he stands as soon as Kim mentions going to the hangar. "I remember seeing one," he says.
"You can help me look, then," Nick offers. "Maybe get some more firewood?"
"Yeah," John says absently. Nick barely steps into his line of sight, but that's all he needs, turning and making his way to the hanger down the same invisible path he was glued to before. Nick sighs, rolls his eyes at Kim entirely for show, and follows. Maybe once they get some food in him, John will stop being such a cagey bastard about the whole thing, and they'll be able to actually put things to rest with Grace and Sharky at last.
When the world ended, Nick had figured that meant the end of life as he knew it. In some ways, he'd been right — things will never be as easy, as safe, as peaceful as they used to be — but when his expectations had been wrong, they'd been completely off-base. He'd expected a nuclear wasteland, only to find a lush and thriving field. He'd expected roving gangs of murderers, and instead, he's only encountered desperate, decent people who would rather not waste the bullets. Hell, he'd expected to spend every day struggling to survive, and here he is, sitting in the backyard with a full belly and a shot of liquor to wind down. Sure, the gathering is a primitive knock-off of a barbeque, but Nick knows now that all they need is time and practice. Maybe someday, they'll even have a grill — burgers, corn on the cob, the whole works.
But hey. That's for the future, and right now, Nick isn't going to complain about some bad liquor, mediocre food and Hurk's stripped-down Slayer's cassette blaring from his beat-up stereo.
Carmina finally gets a chance to show off her skills to people other than her family, and so Hurk's boys take turns calling out targets for her to cap in an attempt to take her down a peg. Nick isn't sober enough to trust his daughter with a gun, but Kim hasn't gone back for another taste of "apple" moonshine yet, and Grace is sober as a rock, so they're more than capable of handling things. Mostly, they nix any particularly dangerous targets, keeping Carmina's shots focused out in the yard. Well, for the most part — neither of them can resist watching Carmina shoot the wind-vane still clinging to the roof, even if it means going right over everyone's heads.
It's all in good fun, of course. And, to their credit, not one of the guys even jokingly suggests taking aim at John as he sits apart from the group. It's a good thing, too — John looks uncomfortable at how good a shot Carmina is. Maybe Nick would be uncomfortable with it too, if he hadn't drunk a bottle-neck's worth of moonshine beforehand.
Nick doesn't have to drink a lot to feel downright tipsy, which is great. Back in the day, he used to like getting buzzed every so often, but he'd given up ever feeling safe enough to get inebriated as another lost memory from yesteryear. This... this is nice. And once the guns get put away, it'll be even nicer.
"I think you might be a better shot than Tipsy over here," Wallace tells Carmina, gesturing towards Tiny, who is indeed too tipsy to be a decent shot at all.
"Only one way to find out!" Tiny shouts, failing to move after his declaration.
"Maybe another time," Kim replies uncertainly. "When alcohol isn't involved?"
"Hey, Carmina," Hurk coos, pulling his battered gun into his lap, "This is a Kalashnikov, you ever shoot off one of these?"
"Ooh, no!"
Grace is much less diplomatic than Kim, cutting him off before he can feed Carmina's excitement any more. "Hurk!"
"What? Oh, uh... she's probably too young for an automatic, huh? What is she, nine? I got a Magnum in my saddlebag..."
It's not long after that they run out of targets, forcing an end to Carmina's demonstration of skill. Kim thankfully takes the gun so that nobody gets hurt, and Carmina spends the next twenty minutes peppering the crew with questions about their guns, their tattoos, their trip out with the caravan, and whether or not they have a moving target range like Grace does. Nick relaxes when he realizes that none of the guys are keen on giving a little girl another weapon, more interested in spinning drunken tall-tales that, truthfully, might be a little too PG for Carmina. At least Grace is listening in to fact-check any of their more problematic bullshit.
John isn't any less tense now that Carmina is disarmed, but Nick's not surprised. Sitting on the opposite side of the fire from everybody else, he might as well be hiding in plain sight. That goes against the entire point, but it's also his modus operandi these days. Normally, Nick would just ignore it, maybe even avoid John on purpose to show him how bad it feels, but tonight calls for a more direct approach.
"Need to get some firewood?" Nick asks him, coming to stand in his line of sight.
John squints up at him around the firelight. "No," he mutters, lying through his teeth before changing the subject. "Carmina has good aim."
"That's all Kim's genes. I'm more of a spray-and-pray kinda guy."
John doesn't quite hide his sarcasm, replying, "You don't say."
Nobody's offered John any liquor yet, he's pretty sure, so Nick holds the bottle out in an easily declined gesture. "Wanna try?" he asks, just in case he's being more subtle than he thinks. "Supposed to take like apples."
John gives the bottle an unimpressed once-over. "I don't think so," he decides, not sounding entirely sure about it. He adds defensively, "My tolerance is shot."
"If you say so," Nick replies, pulling the bottle back. "It's not like I'm gonna peer pressure you. This isn't high school. But, uh, try to relax. If anyone was gonna take a shot at you, they would've done it by now."
"Easy for you to say," John sighs.
It is easy for Nick to say, but he hopes John actually listens to him for once. He's not expecting miracles or anything, but if John's going to stick around, he's going to have to learn how to relax. Well — at least that's one learning curve that everybody is struggling with. Baby steps, right?
Nick leaves John alone for now; maybe he'll warm up into the idea of mending some metaphorical fences before everyone leaves, which would be ideal. For now, Nick goes back to the rest of the group, taking a few more sips as he listens to Carmina start to spin her own tall tales. Now that she's recognized the pattern in all of the stories the adults have been telling — larger-than-life enemies, intimidating names, lots of Foley work — she's attempting to match their vivid stories with a highly interpretive retelling about the turkey she saved her mom from a few months ago. The way she tells it, Nick would've expected the turkey she'd brought back to be at least the size of a car, but if Kim is playing into her part as a damsel in distress, Nick isn't going to ruin things by being the cynic realist.
They trade a few more stories. As they do, Kim takes a few extremely sour drinks of whatever the dark stuff is. She's been on hosting duty all day already, and Nick hasn't done much to help, getting tipsy right away with the rest of the guys like he had. But, with things starting to get late for a family of three, Nick decides it's his time to step up to the task of parenting.
Carmina hasn't had enough life experience to have many stories to share with the encouraging group of drunken manchildren, so once the attention turns to Tiny's story of his first swim after the world ended, Nick uses the out as a chance to usher her away.
"I think we oughta get you ready for bed," he tells Carmina, who boos under her breath but doesn't put up a fight, mostly because the story involves lots of nudity that she isn't at all interested in hearing about. Nick can't blame her — he doesn't wanna hear about Tiny almost getting his nuts bit off by a demon fish, either.
"Okay, but I want a good bed-time story," she demands, reasonably enough. Nick doesn't have anything as funny as Hurk's story, or anything as action-packed as Sharky's retelling of the first roadblock they encountered out on the road, but he has to at least try.
The good thing about Carmina not knowing anything about life before is that Nick can stretch some truths without repercussion. So when he tucks Carmina in, he decides to tell her the story of when she was born — this time, though, he doesn't leave out the roadblocks, or the deputy's shitty driving, or the narrowly-missed explosions. Couched in a long line of tall tales and exaggerated stories, Carmina doesn't believe most of the true stuff and only playfully believes in the bullshit.
Between Nick's bedtime-story voice and him gently stroking her hair, it's a wonder Carmina stays awake for as long as she does. Eventually, though, well before he finishes the story, she closes her eyes and finally stops resisting the chance for a good night's sleep. Nick stays put, lying next to her for a few minutes as he listens to the faint sound of conversation outside. He tries to make out the voices, to decipher who might be talking to who, but he only hears a dull hum.
He'll get up in a few minutes, go down and have a real drink with his wife for the first time in nine years, but the alcohol he's already had entices him to lie still just a little longer.
He doesn't know how long he dozes for, but when Nick is next aware of his surroundings, the light has changed in the room from the rising moon and the conversation outside has shifted in tone and pitch, the way any party might as it enters the late-night phase. Sitting up, Nick immediately knows he needs two things — more water, and one or two more swigs of that awful moonshine, just to keep the hangover from starting before he actually goes to bed.
The back porch is still wide open. The fire has died down, although it's still enough light to see by as Nick reappears. Kim sees him immediately, lifting a half-empty jar of dark liquid in his direction and waving him down with her free hand.
"This one is much better," she tells him as he approaches, holding out the jar. Well, Nick isn't about to reject his wife's kind offer, although he immediately regrets it when he takes a swig.
" Ugh ," he chokes around the harsh burn, feeling it drain all the way back into his throat. "That tastes like paint thinner!"
"Trade secret!" Hurk exclaims, adding immediately after, "Not that there's any paint or thinner in there, or anythin'. Nope. It's 100% organic malt liquor!"
Nick has no idea how Hurk would manage to find barley, but sure, he'll buy it. Another sip doesn't do any better, and to his surprise, he realizes that he actually prefers the moonshine.
As he hands the jar back, Nick does a quick head-count, coming up two short. "Uh, where's John?" he asks.
"Oh," Kim says. She points towards the hangar. "We needed firewood," she says. "Except, eventually, we really needed firewood. I sent Sharky to get some." It seems like only when she says it does she realize what a bad idea it is. "Well, we were in the middle of something, and I was distracted," she explains reluctantly.
"I wasn't," Grace utters next to her.
Kim rolls her eyes. "You should go check on them. I mean, it's fine. But maybe you should, anyway."
Nick looks over at the hangar. There aren't any lights to speak of out here, but Nick can see the glow of the lantern through the open doorway, shadows moving around behind the worn-out wall. "Yeah," he agrees, turning and heading across the wash. He only thinks of grabbing a drink for the journey after he starts walking, but he's already halfway there and he doesn't have time to turn around and come back.
Sharky appears in the doorway, forcing Nick to pull up short to avoid running into him. He looks — fine? There's too much beard and too little light to see his expression clearly, but Sharky doesn't seem phased in the least to find Nick in his way. He passes by Nick with a few logs under one arm, patting Nick heavily on his shoulder with his free hand.
"It's cool, bro," he says, "We're all good."
"Uh... okay," Nick replies, deeply unsure as Sharky casually heads back for the fire. Briefly worrying that he might find John knocked out on the ground, Nick tries not to stress out as he heads inside.
John is sitting on a discarded chopping block by the woodpile, the lantern settled by his feet. Nick doesn't see any blood or a new black eye; just John, rolling a nearly-empty glass bottle between his palms as he drifts in thought.
Nick almost feels bad interrupting, but John catches sight of him before he can retreat undetected. He looks surprised — genuinely, openly surprised to see Nick standing there, sincerely confused when he says, "I thought you went to bed."
"And miss out on all the action?" Nick chuckles. He gestures at the bottle. "So much for your tolerance being shot, huh?" he teases.
"Oh, hmm?" John looks down at the bottle like he'd forgotten about it. "Only enough to get them off my back." He sighs, following it up with a swig that he barely winces through. "After all, saying no ain't my thing ." Nick isn't sure if that drawl is for sarcastic quotation purposes, or if John's had enough moonshine to play at being white trash. "Then again, I only quit drinking because of Joseph. No point resisting now."
"I guess," Nick agrees reluctantly. "Is that, uh, what you and Sharky were talking about?"
John rolls his eyes. "No," he says. He holds out the bottle, waiting until Nick takes it to elaborate. "Kim suggested they sleep out here tonight. He was making sure there's room."
"Oh." Nick takes a drink; maybe it's just the malt liquor talking, but now Nick can sort of taste the apple around the burn. He takes one more swig, just to make sure, then hands the bottle back. "Well, as long as he wasn't hassling you."
"No more than I deserve," John says. Nick must make some kind of face, because he sighs and placating adds, "It's fine, Nick. I'm more than capable of handling a few sarcastic comments from some hillbilly outlaw." He looks down, tipping the bottle a bit to swirl the moonshine inside.
"He... means well," he says eventually. "Everyone means well."
"You don't have to sound so bummed out about it."
John chuckles. It's the first time Nick's heard his laugh and not mistaken it for a cough or wheeze. "I don't mean to be," he says. He takes a drink and looks up at Nick with a... weird look on his face. Open. Genuine? Nick's not sure. But despite the topic, John's expression radiates a deep, contemplative peace. "It's more generosity than I can bear from people I genuinely thought of as the enemy."
He is definitely drunk. "Oh, boy," Nick sighs, reaching out for the bottle before John drops it or finishes it off himself. "To be fair, uh, it's easier to be nice to you since we won, and all."
"Oh, I do not doubt it." John relinquishes the drink, seemingly aware enough to admit, "I've had more than enough."
"I think everybody's had enough," Nick says, proving his own point by immediately regretting his next swig. "God damn . Okay, well — we should probably get some wood. I gotta feeling those guys are gonna be up for a while, and we wanna keep them happy."
John nods, but he doesn't rise from his spot. "Wait," he says when Nick goes to pass him, so Nick obligingly stops, raising an eyebrow at John's half-lifted hand.
"You have to understand," he says. "I'm not — I don't know how I'm supposed to express my gratitude towards you. With Joseph, with — well, everyone , I've always known how to express my loyalty. I knew what they expected from me, what would make them happy, what... wouldn't. But with you, with Kim... I don't know anything. I feel like a child. I don't know how that makes me feel, other than like an idiot."
He heaves a frustrated, heavy sigh, ducking his head towards his nervously entwined hands. "Just — thank you," he finishes miserably.
"Wow," Nick utters in response. He doesn't know what else to say, really, except the obvious, but he genuinely means it when he replies, "Well, you're welcome. Man, and here I always figured you were playing me for a sap."
John laughs, shaking his head. "Manipulation has never been my strong suit," he admits. "I'm too heavy-handed for that crap. Intimidation and brute force, on the other hand..." He lets out a relieved sigh. "Thank God I was too sick to revel in my self-destruction."
"Yeah, I'm glad I didn't have to shoot you," Nick chuckles. "Sorta would've gone against everything I'm trying to build, you know?"
"I do now," John says. "I only wish I'd realized it before the end of the world."
"Hey, the world hasn't really ended," Nick points out. "There's still a whole left to do." He gestures towards the woodpile. "We can start by making sure Kim doesn't leave me for the raiders giving her free alcohol."
John stands, shaking his head as if he could clear the smile from his face. "I'm sure you have nothing to worry about."
"Yeah, not until they figure out how to brew a decent beer. Kim was going without for the baby. She probably would've murdered me if it meant she could've had a case of Newcastle in the bunker for a few months there."
Then again, she had also been freaking out about the nuclear apocalypse occurring above-ground, so Nick really should cut her more slack.
"You definitely have nothing to worry about," John reiterates. "But fine. No more back-talk."
"Yeah, fat chance of that. C'mon, give me a hand."
Nick leaves the bottle on the chopping block and utilizes John's uncanny strength, loading him up with an armful of wood before taking a few logs for himself, to give the appearance of helping. John doesn't complain, which isn't unusual by itself, but tonight it feels like genuine complacency, not just something he's doing to survive. And when they return to the fire, dropping off the wood for Mud and Tiny to utilize, John doesn't retreat to the safety of the other side of the fire. He instead lingers by Nick, going so far as to play along whenever Kim asks him questions, just to make him feel included. He, unlike Nick, is smart enough to refuse any more of the malt liquor Kim's taken a liking to, but he holds the jar for show from time to time, just to keep Hurk happy. In a weird way, Nick feels like he can actually see John taking those wobbly steps Kim is always hoping to see, and even weirder than that, the anxiety that maybe he's making a mistake fails to manifest, leaving Nick with a warm, fuzzy feeling that could very well be pride.
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