#and like it sucks because other than housing i love the culture of this city

[human-leather-hat-appreciator]

God me ranting about the housing market more.

My boyfriend and I met with another group of 3 students last night, hoping we could join up and snatch one of the single family homes on the market as a group since prospects on finding apartments is so dismal and just the thing that got me was the mutual understanding that despite us grouping together in order to try applying for a larger place, was that if anyone found a single for themselves first, that they were bailing.

It's just every man for himself in this city.

[crimeronan]

hi!!! do you have any writing or anything abt those characters nova, sol, devin, and ruby? im scrolling thru ur tags trying to figure out what their deal is lol

(also that luz + hunter qpr fic you wrote permanently changed my brain chemistry. thank you for putting it into the world. undoubtedly one of my fav owl house fics ive ever read)

oh thank you so much re: the owl house fic!! i love luz and hunter so Much and want to write like 100,000 more words about them

i don't have a whole lot of new snippets to post of the original fiction project but you can look thru my tag for it to see some notes and scenes drafted over the past ~3 years. granted, the project has evolved a lot since i started writing it, so plenty of stuff is no longer canon-accurate!

that said, it's been a while since i talked about these characters and the story they're in, so!

like most of my owl fics (and fics for other fandoms), it's a story that's largely about grief and chronic illness; it's also a story about power and what people do with it

without getting too heavily into plot spoilers, the main cast are:

sol (she/her): full name "winter solstice," certified loner bitch with very clear Issues. she has a stranglehold on the sex work industry in her fictional city in this fictional world & very little interest in ceding that power. she's originally from a place that has been blighted by famine & has a bunch of trauma from all kinds of sources, nowadays she only trusts two people in the entire world fully -- devin and ruby. also, she hates nova's guts and wants nova dead in the most grisly way possible.

ruby (she/her): full name "ruby sunrise," hails from the same place and cultural background as sol, shares her native language and her traditions. ruby cares more than sol about preserving both sides of her heritage & culture (she's biracial), and she's very invested in kindness and decency. what she wants more than anything is to leave a positive mark on the world, but she's lonely and lacks a lot of the support she needs. she loves both sol and devin fiercely.

devin (he/they/she): in pain pretty much constantly because of a chronic illness that's Supposed to be a "blessing"; they're a powerful magician who functions as the reincarnation of a god. this position comes with a lot of responsibilities and varying miseries. devin has made a lot of questionable choices in her quest for autonomy and for making the world better; nowadays she spends a lot of time helping sol do grisly crimes and trying to protect underprivileged people. all while knowing that their magic is a terminal autoimmune disease.

nova (she/her): like devin, she functions as the reincarnation/personification of a god. because of this, she and devin are fated soulmates, which she is determined to honor even though devin hates her and does not want to be her soulmate and has made no secret of that. she comes from a privileged background with an idyllic childhood, tons of adult support, and very little strife. she believes that the best thing that she can do is serve her purpose of preserving the status quo, and she's Extremely Vexed when people make this harder for her. also believes she can outrun the autoimmune part of her magic with yoga and jogging.

all four of them function in my usual sweet spot of "people who all kind of suck and are making kind of terrible terrible decisions, but who are also doing the best they can with what they have." and. i love them

[achromic-red-dreams-doze-angrily]

hi im so sorry to dump this in your inbox i got super carried away w the utah hate but i am a former utah citizen and you are SO right utah is easily the worst state in the entire country bar none. the primary exports of utah have been a) missionaries like u said and b) the new weird trend of all these tech companies opening up in slc like the entire city isn't a festering poisonous cesspool. literally poisonous, the area surrounding slc is primarily factories quarries etc. just the UGLIEST industrialized shit you've ever seen, miles and miles and miles of it, and the way the topography of the land works the mountains and the lake make a bowl out of the city so all of that pollution just sits, festering, until a good storm rolls in, and it SUCKS. straight up think utah was ranked in the top 5 most polluted states in the country if not #1 on that list and for good reason. not to mention the cult church controls literally everything - they own the ROADS for christ sake - and is so deeply entrenched in the entire culture that being non-mormon (or god forbid exmo or smth) means you literally start getting actively discriminated against, like within the legal definition of the word. denied jobs housing etc, and ofc they're literally no legal protections for actual minorities of any kind outside of what's federally mandated (and even then those won't be enforced.) even if you're christian in some capacity!! it's significantly worse if people find out you're Not christian ofc but just being Not Mormon is enough to have everyone do their damnedest to try and make u suffer. don't get me wrong there's some really great communities and subcultures out there, i've always chalked it up to minorities having to stick together more than ever just to survive in the oppressive climate, like the lgbt+, latino, asian, polynesian, etc etc communities are Amazing out there, but they're so constrained, the second you step out of your community it's literally hell. like u mentioned utah having no good mexican food?? 100% correct unless u can hunt down really good small ma n pop shop restaurants and it's because straight up there's almost no fucking mexicans or latinos period. hand to god knew TWO mexican american ppl (not including their families) the entire decade i lived there, and i am not white i wasn't some insulated rich white kid only associating w other rich white kids or smth the population out there is just So Overwhelmingly White, period. it sucks so much. utah's biggest redeeming quality is like the geography and environment and they keep destroying it w industrialization. texas meanwhile has great food, great culture, impeccable geography and environment, i have a lot of relatives living in texas who i love dearly and who are sincerely great people who love the state; like obvs it had its rougher patches and places that are awful to be if you're a certain type of person, and ik the current state government sucks mega ass, but by GOD it's no utah. ohh my god. if any of these mfers actually lived in utah for any real amount of time they would understand how much it SUCKS. anyways that's all im so sorry you don't even have to publish this if it's too much i just got carried away reading your tags/responses on that poll and got so fired up abt how much i hate utah. thank god i don't live there anymore good fucking riddance

YES!!!! EXACTLY!!! FUCK UTAH!!!!!!

[ritualofthehabit]

I grew up in the (relatively rural) north bay which is isolating as fuck…. But I was into punk rly young and very political and started going to 924 Gilman st in Berkeley as a freshman in high school…. I tagged along with a group of friends a couple years my senior. As soon as I had a car (at 16, I worked a ton and made good money) I regularly drove my 4Runner about 45mins to an hour to get to the Mission where my best friend lived and we would slam 40s in alleyways and drunkenly befriend graffiti artists and weird ppl we encountered…. It felt like tech n gentrification was this crazy rumor n then suddenly it took over. I used to be one of many punky crusty kids on Valencia st, which was mostly at the time Mexican owned stores n food and honestly a little dangerous…. They turned mission and Valencia into googles playground literally encouraged ICE and landlords committed arson to get rent controlled apartments out of their ownership (none of the mysterious fires were ever investigated)

I moved to Baltimore and while I lived there most of my Sf friends lived in squalor like the most awful punk houses paying double or triple my Baltimore rent. The mission was unrecognizable it felt like a mall for yuppie hipsters…. No more cutty bangs and 40s we’re in 20 dollar cocktail territory this is an overpriced vintage store etc.

I think mission st has slowly inched back to what it was Altho some things changed forever like y’all made Dolores Park a yuppie spot n that’s not going away :/ plus the poverty returned (never went away) but the social services haven’t… the art organizations haven’t…. Etc…. So now it feels achingly desperate. The pandemic sped all that up, the techies fled and homelessness soared. 24th and mission and 16th and mission Bart stops are contentious and dangerous and the subject of yuppie ire. mission st feels familiar again but sadder.

Valencia st is headed in this direction… it went from one of the most dangerous spots to one of the most expensive in a blink of an eye. But the pandemic ruined the bougie vibe thank god and all those businesses bailed recently after clinging on for a couple years. Then they built (6 months ago?) the most useless ridiculous bike lane down the center of Valencia, making it impossible to drive or park there, and now there’s only a couple businesses that I think are going to survive. It’s a mess! Nobody finds it enjoyable anymore and it’s so clear how gentrification can’t sustain itself at all…. But the horrible horrible mayor hasn’t been voted out yet and the “good” politicians are so corrupt.

I live in Oakland now…. Oakland was significantly farther away from my home growing up so I can’t really speak to it pre…. All this. I know it’s ongoing and ever changing. Having spent my early adulthood in Baltimore then Minneapolis makes living in Oakland much more familiar, it’s a smaller and more working class city plus tbh if you want to meaningfully interact with black culture (something I regard as important to my life) sf ain’t it lol (very sad). I love living in Oakland. I wish it were cheaper I wish everything was. I’m glad my day to day life is mostly here, it feels so familiar and homey but my limited interaction here as a youth makes me feel like I’m exploring somewhere new (I am). There’s a lot more respect here for the history and culture of the Bay Area. Lake Merrit on a Sunday morning is one of the best places in the US.

Even so, a lot of my friends stayed in the mission. I don’t envy their living situations generally. I spend a lot of time in the mission still, most of my friends don’t have cars. Other than my hometown, which has always been an uncomfortable place for me, the mission is where I spent most of my time growing up and have the strongest memories of. It’s sad to see everything like this. We’re lowkey at the point of celebrating the poverty and violence and desperation because hey, the yuppies hate it. But it sucks to see how burnt out and soullesss everything is nowadays.

[leshitshow]

Thursday Depression Notes:

One of my sources for depression is I hate my neighborhood. It's pretty damned removed from the rest of my town so I feel super cut off and isolated from the world most of the time. The neighbors are very suburban and antisocial so that doesn't help. I rent and my house is small, which, I'm fine with - but it floods in the rainy season and then because it floods it smells like mold. And my storage space is not really useful too. My landlord is trying to fix the issue, though. Thankfully. But the house is too fucking expensive, rent wise. My boyfriend apparently doesn't comprehend expensive rent. Like, I guess - dude. Must be nice to never look at a price and do a double take. Sure as fuck isn't how I operate.

Anyway, the reason I am in this home is because the riots from 2020 scared my partner. He didn't want to live in a downtown setting anymore. Half of me gets that but the other half of me resents him for it for multiple reasons.

Reason #1 - I told his stupid ass early in our younger years that violence is what happens in the downtown parts of a city when shit goes down. I have no fucking clue where his brain was then. Out in the pastures of privileged white dude-dom, apparently. When things are rough in a city the downtown area is most certainly going to be the roughest of them all. I mentioned this at the time because he was so bent on downtown life and I just wanted him to understand it's not all fancy condos and easy access to everything. That it's also a dynamic collection of poverty, frustrated people, and overcrowding as well. I also told him that because I had a moment I was sick of downtown life - but that was maybe a year out of my entire lifetime. Still, that was the year he could've moved us to a suburb and I'd be like... "this is fine." That time was short and gone so I resent his fear of living in a very urban area because the time I wanted to try something new, he didn't. And he fully ignored the realities of downtown life when I explained it to him.

Reason #2 - Suburbs FUCKING SUCK. I can see why the USA is in the state it is socially. The culture of the suburbs truly is built on "fuck you, I got mine." Suburbs = boomervilles. I'm pretty sure I could be bleeding and dying on the sidewalk in front of my home and my neighbors would step over me to walk their dogs. I know people seem to think that's how urban cores are but that's just not true. In urban cores people are stacked on top of each other. We have to learn to get along with each other and because of that we learn that it's beneficial to validate your neighbor's existence. You can't walk down the sidewalk of my old downtown neighborhood without someone at least looking you in the eyes and smiling at you. Getting someone to do that in my current suburban neighborhood... I have no idea how that could ever take place. No one smiles at you let alone bothers to look at you.

Reason #3 - It's isolated far from everyone and he's never fucking there. I am more alone in the suburbs than I have ever been in my whole life.

Reason #4 - In retrospect it seems he always has to get his way and I've been living in that lie for a while, now. It was fine beforehand because it benefitted me. Now it doesn't and I'm being a lot more critical of the viewpoint, overall, because he honestly does seem to get the final word ... and in a longer look at this fact it really has barely been of any use to me. Outside of just being with someone I love.

Reason #5 - I built my life around living in an urban core. I decided to go back to school for a second career since he killed my first career. (Whole other depression note.) So I have no fucking money for a car. I depended on public transit and my bicycle and being close to work and relatively close to school to live my life. Moving to the burbs really fucked all of that up for me.

So the real point of my writing these depression notes out today is because my very good friend is offering me a place to stay in a better part of town for WAY CHEAPER rent and I reallllly want to go. I haven't mentioned this shit to anyone - yet. But if I take the offer then I would be leaving a shitty suburb in a trashy little house that is on a pretty piece of property and in some mini hills. I'd live in one of my favorite city neighborhoods in a six bedroom home that doesn't flood with two amazing kitchens but the property isn't as pretty or hilly. Ask me if I care about hills. I hate coyote, anyway.

The issue is I have been in my relationship for two decades. It's still working out, for the most part. He does listen to me. Probably now more than ever because after stealing my way of life, putting us in a neighborhood I hate, and pretty much just fucking abandoning me for a job I gave my life up so he could have - I finally told him I am leaving him for basically being unsupportive and he agreed he fucked up. So I guess I am giving him another chance... but I'm like not sure if it's really worth it. I want it to be worth it but I'm just ugh...

[prettylonelys]

is perth a good city to live in? i'm curious bc i'd like to visit australia but there's always so much hype about sydney and melbourne, but never places like hobart or perth?

okay we’ll i’m biased because i live here but in my opinion perth is the best major city in australia (tyler the creator once said we were awesome so 💅)

i’ve been to melbourne and sydney and i’m not just saying this because it’s like edgy or whatever but i genuinely think they’re overhyped

melbourne has great restaurants and shopping and events and stuff but it’s so expensive and it’s only really nice in the inner city you go out to like st kilda and it’s kinda yikes and also people that move to melbourne make it their entire personality and they’re completely insufferable so there’s that lol

sydney is fine it’s pretty beautiful and there’s a lot to do and see, a lot of opportunities, but idk bondi is so fucking busy and it’s not even top 5 beaches i’ve been to and like melbourne it’s so fuckin expensive (both places are in a housing crisis as well)

but both have good public transport and are walkable cities and cafe culture is popping off there

tasmania is fucking BEAUTIFUL but it’s mostly a good destination for like physical activities, walking, hiking up mountains, seeing nature. but they also make a lot of good wine and food and stuff

perth is a lot smaller a lot quieter, it’s like a city but not really? and there’s less to do but idk i love it here it just feels so chill and easy. if i stayed in australia the rest of my life id never move to another state. you’d absolutely need to rent a car if you came here though it’s not a walkable place other than the cbd you can take trains but the bus system fucking SUCKS

but we have the best beaches by far and because we have so much coast there’s a LOT of them, we have some hidden gem restaurants as well and like idk i love it, i love driving around, walking in the city, going to the coast, drinking at bars

i suppose you can do that anywhere but perth is just a little guy okay! everyone always forgets about us but i love it here

[pollen]

what would you say are the worst things about living is Oregon? (i've thought of living there several times)

hmm honestly in no particular order

1. probably the cost of living, but it's expensive to live anywhere lately. rent is really high and it's hard to find available housing. the cost of real estate is unreal too, likely because of our property taxes. sure, not having sales tax is nice, but the money has to come from somewhere

2. my boyfriend's complained about not being able to pump his own gas. and gas is more expensive here. but gas station attendants have to get paid somehow and personally i'm fine paying $5/gal for gas if it means a job is available for someone who needs it

3. politics. i'd do some research into the state's history because it does provide really invaluable insight into how and why oregon's white supremacist beliefs goes unnoticed. if you're in one of the three major cities (portland, salem, eugene) it's not quite so apparent because the most populous cities counties' are the ones that sway the vote blue. and no one here is really ever worried that any right-wing anything will actually influence legislature, but it does influence the state culture

4. if you're into going to concerts or events and prefer the energy of a bigger city that has a lot to do, you might be hard pressed to find that here depending on what you're interested in. smaller to mid-sized artists do tour here, mostly around portland, but bigger acts who would sell out an arena never would. mostly, what we have to do here is athletic and outdoorsy stuff. lots of runners, kayakers, hikers, and instagram 2013 tumblr nature blog "what's life without an adventure" types have lots to do here. i say that as someone who is these things. except ive never been on a kayak

5. fire season is awffffful it's so terrifying. i live on a farm in wine country, so we don't have the infrastructure of city utilities, and we've had our power shut off because the fire danger was too high to run electricity. it's immensely stressful. gets hard to breathe, you can't really leave the house, the sky's red, there's no knowing when it'll end, your friends and family have to evacuate and flee because the fire is too close to their house. etc etc. but if you're no stranger to fires and you already kind of know what to expect it won't be so jarring

other than that it's nice. i'm probably forgetting a bunch of stuff though. i almost forgot about the fires. it's hard to look objectively at it and point out things i don't like because it doesn't really occur to me as things that i could dislike becuase it's just part of life here. like yeah i hate fires and the politics suck and everything costs way too much but what can you do.

i really do love oregon and i have a lot of pride for it because it really has some incredible positives. if you've never been, i highly suggest coming to stay for a bit and to see how you feel, if you feel like it makes sense for you to be here, so on and so forth. because a lot can change after you go somewhere. i never thought to live in pennsylvania but as soon as i spent just a day there i was like. oh. yeah i need to live here. asap. something about it just feels right. anyway. i hope this was helpful!!

[music-of-dragons]

Here's part three!

Loose Key for organization:

● Summary ○ My thoughts

AGOT Dany III

● This chapter begins with Dany looking out over the Dothraki Sea with Jorah by her side, he is explaining the types of grass that grow. ~"Down in the Shadow Lands beyond Asshai, they say there are oceans of ghost grass, taller than a man on horseback with stalks as pale as milkglass. It murders all other grass and glows in the dark with the spirits of the damned. The Dothraki claim that someday ghost grass will cover the entire world, and then all life will end." That thought gave Dany the shivers.~

○ The description of the ghost grass and the Dothraki prophecy are very similar to that of the Others and the Long Night. Directly after this imagery Dany shivers, which is associated with being cold or frightened. I believe that the Stallion prophecy is the Dothraki version of Azor Ahai. 

● Dany is enjoying the beauty of the day when the rest of the Khalasar begin to approach, Viserys with them. Dany, slowly learning to embrace her own agency and power, tells Jorah to command the Khalasar to stop so that she could ride ahead and not hear Viserys's complaints.

 

● Dany reflects on her first days with the Khalasar and how tough they had been. Khal Drogo ignored her during sex and she would cry from the pain, she was racked with saddle sores and blistered hands. Dany decided that she would rather kill herself than continue on, until she had a dragon dream. Viserys is not in the dream this time, only her and the dragon. "It's scales were black as night, wet and slick with blood. Her blood, Dany sensed.~

○ Just as Dany's thighs were slick with blood in her first dragon dream, the dragon is now covered in her blood. This is more birth imagery! Babies are born covered in their mother's blood, so Dany will birth the dragons, and her blood/sacrifice will be needed for the ritual. Viserys disappearing from the first dream then not appearing in this dream is a sign that Viserys will have to be gone/die in order for Dany to become who she is meant to be and hatch the dragons. When the dragon breathes flame at her, she feels no pain. Her body is cleansed by the fire and it helps her feel stronger and more fierce, this bled into her reality.

● Dany noticeably changed after her dream, her handmaid even asked if she had gotten sick. ~"I was, she answered, standing over the dragon's eggs that Illyrio had given her when she wed. She touched one, the largest of the three, running her hand lightly over the shell. Black and scarlet, she thought, like the dragon in my dream."~ The egg felt warm to Dany, though she dismissed it. 

● Dany feels that her horse knows her moods and that they share a single mind, Irri may be teaching her Dothraki riding but the silver is her true teacher. 

○ This connection that Dany feels with her silver, I believe, has some magic involved. It may also be foreshadowing her warg-like connection with Drogon. Dany thinks to herself that she had never loved anything so much.

● Dany, still reflecting, thinks about how she began to appreciate the beauty of the world around her; her soreness after riding was welcomed, her nights with Drogo were more pleasurable, and every day she is eager to mount her silver and ride ahead.

○This is a direct result of her dragon dreams and coping mechanisms. She is slowly growing from a meek little girl to a strong young woman, she is handling the Dothraki lifestyle better than her "dragon" brother.

●Dany makes it to the bottom of the ridge and hears Viserys shrieking at Ser Jorah, so she plunges deeper into the grass. Dany feels a sudden urge to feel the soil between her toes because she feels happy and at peace in the grass. She dismounts and is removing her boots when Viserys is on her, rearing his horse, screaming. Viserys tells her to look at herself, dressed in Dothraki clothing and Viserys dressed in soiled city silks and ringmail. 

○ This difference between the two of them is important. Dany's ability to adapt to the culture around her is what allows her to survive, while Viserys separates himself from those he deems beneath him and it will eventually lead to his downfall. This is humility vs superiority at its finest. Dany is making the most of a situation her own brother placed her in, doing everything he commanded of her, yet he is enraged by her power as a Khaleesi. 

● Viserys makes a grab for Dany's chest and twists at her breasts but she pushes him away, this is the first time she has stuck up for herself, and she knows that Viserys will hurt her badly for it. Before Viserys can continue, Jhogo's whip coils around his neck and saves Dany from further harm. Despite all that he's done to her Dany refuses to have him harmed. She thinks to herself that he looks pitiful on the ground, sobbing and sucking in breath. ~He had always been a pitiful thing. Why had she never seen that before? There was a hollow place inside her where her fear had been.~

○ Dany is no longer taking Viserys's abuses lying down. She is finally coming to realize that Viserys was never truly a man to fear, his power over her was an illusion that he created by conditioning Dany with abuse and "waking the dragon". However, despite all this, Dany still loves her brother which will be demonstrated by her actions and thoughts later. 

○ Dany commands Jorah to take his horse, she has learned more of Dothraki ways and knew that taking his horse would shame him in the Khalasar. He would walk with the women and slaves instead of mounted. She literally gets him off his high horse! 

●Viserys commands Jorah to kill the Dothraki dogs and hurt Dany. He looks at her with her bare feet and oiled hair, then at Viserys in his soiled silks and ringmail, and decides ~"He shall walk, Khaleesi."~

● Dany and Jorah have an important conversation about Viserys and the Smallfolk. When she becomes afraid because of what she did to Viserys, he tells her Rhaegar was the last dragon and that Viserys was less than the shadow of a snake. The smallfolk don't care who sits the Iron Throne, they just want to be left in peace. Dany is shaken by his words, but she hears the truth in them. He even gets her to admit that Viserys would not be a good king. When asked about home, Dany envisions Westeros and Dragonstone, all with red doors. 

○That is what Dany desires most; a home with safety and comfort like the house Ser Willem raised her in. She believes that she will find that home in Westeros.

● She admits to Jorah that she knows Viserys would never take them home, even with an army. Later, Dany has a mini vision after seeing a dusty finger of light touch her eggs, a thousand droplets of scarlet flame, she blinks and they are gone.

○ This, again, is her subconscious leading her to the magic needed to hatch the eggs. Dany feels the eggs and they are warm, but she convinces herself they were warmed by the sun. She knows that the stone eggs shouldn't be alive with heat and is trying to rationalize it by continuously making excuses because she's not ready to hatch them, not just yet.

○ Irri hops in the bath with Dany, she has no problem bathing with her and is very close with her handmaids. She never treats them harshly even though they are slaves of the Khalasar.

○ In the next chapter, Dany is called "Moon of my Life'' by Drogo while she calls him "My Sun and Stars". The story that Doreah tells Dany while bathing consists of the moon wandering too close to the sun and cracking, pouring out dragons, then they drink the fire of the sun. I think this story is a hint that Dany, the moon, will hatch dragons herself, and they will be given life by Drogo, the sun. 

● Dany spends time with Doreah learning to pleasure Khal Drogo. She takes him beneath the stars for all to see ~For the Dothraki believed that all things of importance in a man's life must be done beneath the open sky.~ It is Dany's 14th nameday when Jhiqui tells her she is with child. ~"I know."~ Dany tells her.

○ Dany has finally completely adapted to the life of the Dothraki and is more comfortable, brave, and happy than she ever has been. She has agency and power so long as Drogo allows it, and her relationship with him has improved. She isn't suffering in the shadow of her brother any longer. 

Dany IV up next!

Art by Ted Nasmith

[d-criss-news]

20 Questions With Darren Criss: How Acting Has Helped Him Make New Music

While Darren Criss has graced our TV screens with a range of characters, from high schooler Blaine Anderson on Glee to serial killer Andrew Cunanan on The Assassination of Gianni Versace, he was last spotted just being himself, on our For You Page on TikTok. “I’m walking to rehearsal with a guitar on my back with a Trader Joe’s bag ... I did not bring an umbrella because I forgot that it was raining. I’m rocking that NYC musician life,” the Glee alum explained in the hilarious clip posted three days ago.

While Criss’ acting work has earned him acclaim and stardom, he leaned into making music during the pandemic. On Aug. 20, he dropped a new EP, Masquerade, featuring five new tracks that Criss says were inspired by the different characters Criss has embraced throughout his career. After Criss wrote songs for his musical comedy web series Royalties and Apple TV+’s animated sitcom Central Park before the pandemic struck the United States, he then used those experiences as a precursor to his new EP. As Criss continues to promote his new music, he answered 20 of Billboard's questions – giving us a peek into how his new EP came together, and how growing up in San Fransisco shaped him as an actor, singer and all-around artist.

1. What inspired your latest project, Masquerade?

Although I would have preferred that it come at a far less grim cost, I finally had the time. Before the pandemic, I had written 10 new songs for my show Royalties -- along with an original song for Disney and another for Apple’s Central Park. These were all assignments in which I was writing for a certain scenario and character. Go figure. It was the most music I had ever written in a calendar year. This really emboldened me to rethink how I made my own music— to start putting a focus on “character creation” in my songs, rather than personal reflection. The latter was not proving to be as productive. The alchemy of having this time and having set a new intention with my own songwriting and producing made me put on a few of my favorite masques and throw myself a Masquerade.

2. How do you think your background as an actor complements your music?

They are one and the same to me. I treat acting roles like musical pieces— dialogue is like scoring a melody; there’s pace, dynamics, cadence, tone. Physical characterization is like producing -- zeroing in on the bass line, deciding on the kick pattern. Vocal characterization is like choosing the right sonic experience, choosing the most effective snare sound, and mixing the high end or low end. It goes without saying that it works in the complete opposite direction. Making each song is taking on a different role literally and employing the use of different masques to maximize the effectiveness of the particular story being told.

3. On Instagram  you wrote that “Masquerade is a small collection of the variety of musical masques that have always inspired me.” Which track do you identify with most in your real life?

Everybody absorbs songs differently. Some key into the lyrics, some into the melody, some the production, some into vocal performance. When I listen to songs, I consider all of their value on totally different scales. So it’s hard to say if there’s any track I “identify” with more than any others, since I -- by nature -- identify with all of them. I think I just identify with certain aspects more than others. If it helps for a more interesting answer, I will say I enjoy the slightly more classical, playful -- dare I say -- more Broadway-leaning wordplay of “Walk of Shame,” but that’s just talking about lyricism. I enjoy the attitude of “F*kn Around,” the batsh--t musicality of “I Can’t Dance,” the relentless grooves of “Let’s” and “For A Night Like This.” All have different ingredients I really enjoy having an excuse to dive into.

4. What’s the first piece of music that you bought for yourself, and what was the medium?

Beatles audio cassettes: “Help” and “Hard Day’s Night.” I just listened on repeat on a tape-playing Walkman until my brother and I got a stereo for our room with a CD player in it, which was  when I just bought the same two albums again, but this time as compact discs.

5. What was the first concert you saw?It’s hard to say, because my parents took us to a lot of classical concerts when we were small. But I guess this question usually refers to what was the first concert you went to on your own volition, and that my friend, was definitely Warped Tour ’01. My brother and I went on our own— two teenagers going to their first music festival, in the golden age of that particular genre and culture. It was f--king incredible.

6. What did your parents do for a living when you were a kid?

My dad was in private banking and advised really, really wealthy people on how to handle their money. My mom was, by choice, a stay-at-home mom, but in reality, she was my dad’s consigliere. They discussed absolutely everything together. They were a real team, and I saw that every single day in the house. They both had a background in finance (That’s how they met in the first place.) and were incredibly skilled at all the hardcore adulting things that I absolutely suck at. They were total finance wizards together. So of course, instead of becoming an accountant, I picked up playing the guitar and ran as far I could with it. Luckily, they were all about it.

7. What was your favorite homecooked meal growing up?

My dad was an incredible chef. For special occasions, I’d request his crab cakes. They were unreal. I’ve never had a crab cake anywhere in the world that was good as my dad’s.

8. Who made you realize you could be an artist full-time?

I don’t know if I’ve actually realized that yet.

9. What’s at the top of your professional bucket list?

The specifics change every day, but the core idea at the top is to continue being consistently inconsistent with my choices, and to keep getting audiences to constantly reconsider their consideration of me. But I mean, sure, what performer doesn’t want to play Coachella? What songwriter doesn’t want to have Adele sing one of their songs? What actor doesn’t want to be in a Wes Anderson film?

10.  How did your hometown/city shape who you are?

San Francisco. I mean, come on. I was really lucky. The older I get, the more grateful I am for just being born and raised there. It’s an incredibly diverse, culturally rich, colorful, inclusive, vibrant city. By the time I was born, it had served as a beacon for millions of creative, out-of-the-box thinkers to gather and thrive. I grew up around that. The combination of that with having parents, who were unbelievably supportive of the arts themselves, laid an incredibly fortunate foundation to consider the life of an artist as a legitimately viable option. It’s a foundation that I am supremely aware is not the case for millions of young artists around the world. I was absurdly lucky.

11.  What’s the last song you listened to?

I mean probably one of mine, but not by choice. I know, lame. But I’m promoting a new EP, what’d you expect? But if you wanna know what I’ve been listening to, as far as new s--t is concerned: a lot of Lizzy McAlpine, Remi Wolf, and Charlie Burg.

12.  If you could see any artist in concert, dead or alive, who would it be?

The Beatles is an obvious "yeah, duh." Sammy Davis, Mel Tormé, or of course, Nat King Cole. I would’ve loved to see Howard Ashman give a lecture on his creative process and his body of work.

13. What’s the wildest thing you’ve seen happen in the crowd of one of your sets?

I feel like just having a crowd at all, at any one of my sets, is pretty wild enough.

14. What’s your karaoke go-to?

The real answer to this I’ll write into a book one day, because I have a lot to say about karaoke etiquette. I have two options here: I can either name a song that I like to sing for me, for fun, or I can name a song that really gets the group going. The answer depends on what kind of karaoke night we’re dealing with here. So I will say, after I’ve selected a ton of songs that services a decent enough party vibe for everyone else, then I would do one for me, and that would be the Beatles’ “Oh! Darling.”

15. What’s one thing your most devoted fans don’t know about you?

What I have up my sleeve.

16. What TV show did you binge-watch over the past year?

Dave is a stroke of genius. There are episodes that I believe are bona fide masterpieces. Also, My Brilliant Friend is a masterclass in cinematic television.

17. What movie, or song, always makes you cry?

It’s A Wonderful Life.

18. What’s one piece of advice you would give to your younger self?

Get used to sharing everything about yourself and your life now, or more astutely, to the idea that you don’t necessarily get to control how your life is shared. I know it’s not really your thing, but you’re gonna have to get used to it, so start building up those calluses now. And don’t worry, all the stuff you love now will be cool again in your mid-thirties, so keep some of those clothes because you’ll be a full-blown fashion icon if you just keep wearing exactly what you’re wearing. Oh nd also, put money into Apple and Facebook.

19.  What new hobby did you take on in the last year?

I’ve always been a linguaphile. My idea of leisure time is getting to study or review other languages. This past year, I took the time to finally dive into learning how to read, write, and speak Japanese. Other than making music, it was one of the biggest components of my 2020-2021.

20. What do you hope to accomplish or experience by the end of 2021?

I hope I get to play live shows again.

[alyssadeliv]

The Forgotten One

First      Previous

Chapter 12

They were going to the zoo. Richard had decided that after two months of her living in the Manor it was time to have some family bonding time. It didn’t matter that most of her time in the last months was used to get to know her new extended family or get reacquainted with her old one. 

He was adamant that she needed the full Gothamite experience, so here they were on a Friday afternoon on a crowded metro, listening as the oldest one tried and explained how Metro’s worked to her. He was so happy, gesticulating and smiling, that she didn’t have the heart to tell him that she indeed knew how the metro worked, having lived in Paris for almost two full years.

After Damian, Richard was her favorite sibling, mostly because she had always seen him as a role model, as part of her training had been inspired by him and his trapeze maneuvers, but she did enjoy the warmth that she tended to feel when he was around. He was patient and had no problem explaining pop culture references to her. Not that she didn't enjoy spending time with her other siblings, it was just that Richard went out of his way to make her feel accepted.

Tim was a very busy person, and their interactions were reserved to 3 a.m. coffee hunts. He wasn’t bad, just closed off, and a little wary of her after his first experience with Damian. Not that she could blame him. But she was a bit closer to his girlfriend, Stephanie Brown, who would come to have dinner at the Manor every week. 

And there was Jason. She refused to address him as her brother, that would just be plain weird. After the initial shock of finding each other again had worn out, it had taken a few weeks for them to finally address the elephant in the room. She could tell that he had struggled with the news that she was Bruce’s biological daughter.

“Dick, maybe speed the lecture a bit so we can still get to the zoo before it closes.” Jason was leaning casually against a wall, finding this whole situation funny. He was wearing jeans and his red leather jacket, nothing special, but if she was honest he looked rather handsome. 

“It’s fine Jaybird, I was just wrapping it up!” He says with a smile, just in time for them to catch the next wagon. Because they spent at least 25 minutes listening to Richard’s lesson, the metro had emptied a bit so they were able to find seats. It was just the three of them, the others would meet them there, after being picked up by Alfred, Damian after school, and Timothy after a meeting. 

“So… I know Bruce said not to ask, but I’ve been dying to know…” Richard starts unsure, afraid to cross a line. They were lucky to score seats in the same section, she was seated with Jason by her side, with Richard in front of him facing them both. “But how exactly did you two meet, I mean it was obviously at… Tibet-'' He caught himself before he could out them as members of the League, you never knew who could be listening in their conversation, so better safe than sorry. “- but why do you know Jason, but Damian didn’t?” 

With a glance to the side, she was more than happy to allow Jason to explain that part. In the two months she lived at the Manor she saw how much they wanted to ask about their relationship, but kept their distance. Aside from Damian, they didn’t feel the need to inform the family about their past. 

“Well, Pixie Pop here was the one to train me for the duration of my time in the Temple. Kicked my ass more times than I can count.” He says with a smirk, while casually butting an arm on the back of her seat. “She taught me most of what I know”

“Most of it?” She was indignant, but the smile on her face betrayed her true emotions.

“To be fair B didn’t totally suck as a parent.” She knew that he and Father didn’t have the best relationship after he came back from his time at the League, but according to Damian, it used to be way worse, not that she would know. Richard seems content with their explanation and didn't demand more information, even if he desperately wanted to. He respects their boundaries, and that only makes her like him more.

When they got to the zoo, Damian and Timothy were already there, but surprisingly Stephanie had tagged along, so now she wasn’t the only female in the group anymore, not that she cared, but she liked her brother’s girlfriend so the surprise was appreciated. 

She had never been to the zoo before, just to see the attractions. The times she went to fight an Akuma did not count. It was a bit sad seeing all these animals stuck in a cage, and she could tell her brother felt the same. Damian always had a soft spot for animals, and would not tolerate if they were being mistreated. Not surprisingly, the Waynes made annual donations to the zoo to ensure that all the animals were well taken care of. When she first heard about that she was glad that Father cared about Damian’s interests enough to pay to support every zoo and animal shelter in the city. It helped ease her guilt for abandoning him for two years knowing that now she was not the only one who cared for him.

They spend the rest of the afternoon enjoying the animals. And Dick was glad he chose to go to the zoo as a family bonding experience. When Damian first came into the family he had taken him there, after discovering that his younger brother absolutely adored animals and he was happy to see that Marianne liked it as well.  

Efficient as always, Alfred was already there waiting for them the minute they crossed the exit of the building. As she came to know, the men seemed to have a six sense when it came to all of them. Just by his aura, she could tell he wasn’t someone you wanted to cross, but she could see how much he loved each one of his grandchildren (because she could never kid herself to think of him any less than a Grandfather).

“I assume that today's activities were enjoyable.” The butler asks as he opens the back door of the limo for them. Richard enters first thanking the men.

“It was acceptable” Damian voices, as he too enters the vehicle.  

It was a bit of a ride, seeing that the Manor was almost outside of Gotham, but she didn’t mind. Seated between Richard and Damian she spent most of the journey chatting with everyone. But by the time they arrived at the house everyone was a bit tired, so dinner was a relatively small affair. But not uneventful, because as revenge for Bruce bailing on family day, the boys started sharing with her all the shenanigans of her father’s public persona, Brucie Wayne. It was amusing to see this new side to her father, always so reserved and serious. 

“If you are all finished sharing Master Bruce's embarrassing moments, I believe it is time for patrol.”  Alfred as always came to defuse the situation before it could implode. 

Because she spent most of the last two years fighting almost every single day, she decided that she needed some rest from her hero lifestyle. Even after her father asked if she would like to accompany them on patrols, she decided to turn it down for now. So while her family directed themselves to the cave, she made her way into her suite. 

It was a beautiful room. Although the color scheme wasn’t something she would have picked herself, it fit with the furniture rather nicely, and her artist side appreciated that. The room itself was simple, but the red colors and the dark wood made the room seem cozier than it was. With a double bed with a canopy, two bedside tables, a vanity with a mirror, and a wardrobe, it had everything she needed. Her Father had encouraged her to decorate her room the way she wanted, and she had been tempted to do so, but ultimately decided to wait until she settled into her role as a family member before she went and added more change to the mix. What she had been very close to doing was adding a desk so she could draw and design, but after she discovered that there was a big one in the library just a few doors from her room, she dismissed the idea.  

Quickly she showered and changed into something more comfortable than her street attire, before exiting the room and making her way into the library. It wasn’t as big as the one downstairs, but it had a big balcony that overlooked the gardens, so she liked to just sit in a shadow and sketch away. Damian had been kind enough to spare one of his unused sketchbooks and some pencils, knowing that she liked to draw just as much as he did. She leaned forward into the railing resting her arms and head, but still looking upwards.

The sun had already set, and she was glad that they were far enough away from the city that she could see some stars in the sky. Having lived in Paris, she had really missed all the stars she could see at night from her home on the League. One of her studies had been about the Astros, so she spent a lot of time as a kid contemplating the skies. 

“It’s going to rain soon” A voice comes from behind her. Without having to turn around she knew who it was. A smile appears on her face.

“Aren’t you supposed to be getting ready for patrol?” She asks, straightening her body, but still not turning around. She could feel the person getting closer to her until she felt a presence at her side. 

“That’s the whole point. It's gonna rain.” He carries a hint of humor in his tone “And besides I prefer to keep you company, Pretty Girl. Besides, I believe Red Hood deserves one night off. The guy has been working hard.” He jokes.

With a smile she finally faces him. He had showered and changed, and without his red jacket, he looked so relaxed. It reminded her of their time in the League. Like that he looked so much like the angry boy she helped train. So young and while broken, so full of life and fight in him. He smirks at her but turns his face upwards to look at the night. 

“You always did love the stars.” He commented, not looking at her. “It’s sad that here you can't see them as much.” 

“It’s not that bad. In Paris, you couldn't see any. It was sad, but to be fair the whole city more than compensated for that. It’s beautiful there.” She recalled all the times she went on a midnight stroll around the city, just enjoying the architecture. “I could spend eternity drawing all the details in the buildings.” 

“Do you miss it?” He asks, looking at her. His tone is neutral, but by his body language, she can tell he’s anxious for her answer. She had always been good at reading him, and she was glad that their time apart had not changed that. 

“In a way…” 

She sighs.

“I liked the city, but I spent most of my time there fighting and training. Not much different from before. It was like everything changed but was still the same. To be completely honest… I miss our time at the League the most.” She confesses but hurriedly continues. “Don’t get me wrong, it was hard! But still… at the same time…”

“I get it.” He interrupts her. He has a small side smile, and the dimples on his face make her want to freeze this moment and draw him so she could eternalize him. Instead, she gets closer to him, seeking comfort in his presence at her side. He embraces her. Securing her in his arms, her body pressed against his, her head buried in his chest.

It was funny to think that the most capable woman to take care of herself he knew, chose to be vulnerable around him. It made him feel loved.

“I miss it too.” He whispered in her ear. She raises her head, just enough that she can see his face without removing herself from his arms. Staying like this reminds her of all the nights he used to sneak into her chambers. And they would talk and hold each other for hours. It felt like it was just yesterday the first time he got the better of her.

“Focus!” She yelled while landing a kick at his unprotected left side. “You are unbalanced- in three moves I could have you on the ground again” She punched him to his right, but he was able to block her and tried to deliver a punch of his own. His knuckles were bloodied, and he knew that in the morning his ribs would hurt. But at this moment he was high on adrenaline. She dodged. 

They were training for what felt like hours. But both were too stubborn to ask for the fight to end. 

But just as promised, in three more moves he was on the ground. He tried to get back on his feet to continue with the fight but was stopped by a foot on his torso.

“That’s enough.” She helps him to get on his feet. “You were great! You could have overpowered me so many times! I left you so many openings!” She laughs. This was routine for them. After a fight, Marianne was usually so pumped with adrenaline that she spoke at a mile per hour. “We really need to work on your tactics this week. Oh! You also need to improve your stance, you’ve been favoring your right side too much. I know your ribs hurt but you still need to protect your body as a whole.” She comments only stopping to take a large sip of water. “Well, I am spent.”

“You’re spent? I’m the one that has been eating dirt for the whole hour!” He complains indignantly. She tossed a water bottle in his direction, which he grabs and happily finishes in a single gulp.

“Just another reason you need to study more!” She grins. And turns to exit the room, and while walking to the door turns to him again. 

“See you in a bit” She winks. 

When they meet again they are in her room. She’s seated on the bed sketching some view, while Jason sits on the floor sharpening his knife. They chat casually for some time, but ultimately end speaking about their training session earlier. 

“That move would have totally worked!” He exclaims, knife long forgotten he now kneels facing her bed. 

“There’s where you are wrong, you need strength on your fist on both sides to push my torso, otherwise I would easily be able to doge only one. You need two punches at different sides in succession for you to distract your opponent!” She explains in a hurry. Her thoughts jumped around her head. 

“No way! If it’s strong enough, only one is needed!” He argues.

Worked up she threw her notebook to the side, forgotten. In a second she was up, signaling for him to do the same.

“There is no way. Stand there, pretend to be in stance.” She directs, and without a second thought, he complies. “Okay, so I come for your right side first, you are stronger there.” 

Her movements are slowed, as she demonstrates the move. “That’s going to distract you, and keep you focused on your stronger side, leaving your weaker one unprotected.” She shows him where he left an opening for her. “So all I need to do now is strike again, focusing more strength now. Either a punch or a kick would do the trick.” As she goes to demonstrate her point, he grabs the incoming slow punch and pulls her into his body. 

Unprepared she loses her balance, falling into his chest. In a second he secures her with his other arm, keeping her in his embrace. She feels her face burning with embarrassment. He caught her by surprise, and she felt ashamed.

“Hey that wasn't fai-” But he silences her, bringing his face closer to hers and giving her a heated kiss. It lasts for some time, but when they finally separate themselves he has a grin on his face.

“Just to be clear, I knew the move wouldn’t have worked. You just look cute when you're angry.” 

And before she can protest he shuts her up with another kiss.

So this is by far the biggest chapter! Hope ya’ll like it! We finally get the story behind Jason and Marianne. Let me know what you think!

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[volturicangetit]

D.V/A.V/J.V/F.V- soft moments

anon: ANY OF THE VOLTURI GUARDS WITH 9, 10, 12, AND 13 FROM YOUR PROMPTS.

9 ” Vampires? God no, those fuckers can go back to the ’ Vampire Diaries ’, I’ll have a wolf. “

10 ” Fuck me. “ ” I might. “

12 ” There is blood on my new couch, my phone just broke and I’m already in big debt so, no, I won’t calm down. “.

13 ” Cool cape, mosquito boy. “

A/N: I decided to just use one prompt for every guard so yeah, because I just couldn’t choose between them. <#

DEMITRI:

A steady knock on your window pulls your attention away from your book. You look up at your left towards your window. A dark figure with two bright red eyes is staring at you. A normal person would be terrified, but not you. You have gotten to know the person as Demitri. You met him two months back when you had gotten lost in the city that you now call your home, Volterra. He had shown you around and brought you back to your house and you have stayed friends ever since. He comes by almost every night to check up on you and hang out at your place for a bit. You quickly throw the book down onto the couch you are sitting on and jump up, running to the window. You open it and Demitri silently makes his way inside. You quickly close the window behind him to prevent any more cold air from coming into your warm home. Demitri wraps his arms around you and pulls you into a tight hug. His cold skin is concealed by a thick layer of clothes. His normally formal outfit of a robe and blouse is now replaced by a pair of sweatpants and a sweater. You didn't know any better than 'casual Demitri' but if any of his coven members saw him like this, it would be a culture shock. "Demi," you croak out. "Can't breath.". You give him some pats on his back so signal him to let you go. He quickly releases you from his grip and walks over to the couch before letting himself fall onto the soft furniture. His fingers run over the cotton fabric that covers it.

"So, what have you been up to?" he asks. A smile appears onto your face at the sound of his voice. God, you loved his accent. You walk over to him and grab the book that is lying beside him. He looks at the cover. "A vampire novella?" he asks. You shake your head, smacking his head with the book softly before plopping onto the couch next to him and continuing your book.

"Vampires? God no, those fuckers can go back to the ’ Vampire Diaries ’, I’ll have a wolf," you say before pointing at the white wolf printed into the cover of the book. Demitri fake pouts as he holds a hand over his heart. "Oh, how it breaks my old heart to hear that.". You know about Demitri's vampirism. You don't know the in's and out's of it but it also isn't very hard to guess judging by his red eyes and unusual clothing when you first met.

You shrug, putting the book down again. "Yeah, I don't know. At least wolves won't try to kill me," you say. You put your two pointer fingers up to your lips, making 'fangs' with them. "I want to suck yer' blood!" you say in a bad Dracula-like accent. Demitri lets out a laugh as he gives your arm a playful slap. "On a totally different note, want to watch a movie? Maybe 'Dracula'?" you ask. Demitri throws a pillow that is lying beside him at your head.

"Or 'The vampires assistant'?" you giggle as you shield yourself from the pillow. Demitri lets out a groan as lets his head fall back and rest against the couch. "Will you ever stop with those annoying vampire jokes?". You shake your head with a shit-eating grin on your lips. Demitri jumps up and holds a hand softly over your throat as he leans in closer. "I might just have to turn you then,". You swat his hand away from you and give him a small push against his chest before grabbing the remote of your television and turning it on, opening Netflix. "Yeah right, now shut up and watch 'Dracula' with me”

ALEC:

You and the other higher guards are walking over to the throne room. A trial is to be held in a couple of minutes and you're presence is requested to protect the masters from a possible lash out. You got yourself a place in the Volturi a couple of hundred years ago when Alec and Jane found you on a mission. You felt a strong pull toward Alec the moment you saw him. Marcus confirmed your suspicion when he stated that you two were indeed mates. You and Alec have been inseparable ever since. Which is why it doesn't even faze you when he suddenly runs up beside you, wrapping an arm around your waist as he walks with you to the throne room. "I was wondering where you were," you say as you lean into his touch.

"I am sorry, il mio amore, some new guard had gotten into some trouble," he says. You shrug, before looking in front of you again. "It's alright,". The trip to the throne room isn't very long. From behind the door, you can already hear grunts and screaming. The vampire on trial had arrived earlier and is clearly not agreeing with the masters. Alec turns you towards him to give you a kiss. Your lips connect and you melt into his touch. The moment is short-lived though since you hear the sound of the marble floor breaking. A fight. "Fuck me," you mumble under your breath as you get yourself ready to fight off the vampire. "I might," Alec growls into your ear.

You push him off you with a smile. "Maybe if you walk me with the wanker," you say as you point towards the dark oak doors. Alec nods as he walks out in front of you and throws the doors open. He looks over his shoulder and sends a wink your way before using his speed to run towards the angry vampire. Cheeky fucker.

JANE:

You are annoyed. No, angry. Your day had already been shitty. You missed your bus so you had to walk to work through the pouring rain. Your feet have been killing you since you woke up and your boss yelled at you for coming late. Now, when you finally got home, you find your best friend Jane on your now blood-stained couch with your neighbour lying dead beside her. You got so scared from the sight that you let your phone fall on the ground, causing the screen to break. "What the fuck, Jane? What the actual, royal fuck!" you scream at her as you run over to her to check if she's okay. She slaps away your hand tiredly. "I didn't get to drink in some time, I'm sorry," she says as wipes the remainders of blood from the corners of her mouth with the back of her hand. You shake your head as you sprint to your kitchen to get a damp cloth in an effort to safe your ruined couch.

"I got that you have to drink blood and shit, but why the fuck do you need to use my neighbour for that? He's kind, well was, thanks to you," your tone is pointed as you crouch down in front of the couch and to scrub the still fresh blood away. "He was only human," Jane shrugs as she gets up from her position on the floor. She uses her speed to run over to the kitchen and grab herself a cloth as well and starts to help you with the couch.

"Only human? What the fuck is wrong with being human?" you yell. She places a hand on your shoulder which you quickly shrug off. "Jesus, calm down,". You shake your head and throw your cloth at her head. "There is blood on my new couch, my phone just broke and I’m already in big debt so, no, I won’t calm down,". You stand up and starts to walk in circles around your living room. Everything was becoming a bit too much. Jane quickly sees the seriousness of the issues and walks over to you, pulling you into a hug to make you stand still. You break down in her arms, letting the tears that have been building up all day finally fall from your eyes. Jane rubs soft circles on your back with one hand as the others softly pet your head.

"It is going to be alright," she says in a soft voice. " I'll take care of your financials and replace your couch. Vampire money, remember?" she says. You laugh through your tears as you hear her use your term for the insane amount of money the Volturi and its members have build up over time. You nod, wrapping your arms around her small form. "It is going to be alright, I am here for you.”

FELIX:

You are the newest and youngest member of the Volturi, having only been turned three years ago and joining them only a year into your 'second life'. The Volturi normal didn't have such young members but they changed that when Aro saw you using your gift in one of Alice's visions. The age gap between you and the rest is like an elephant in the room. Not only did you dress very different from them, but your vocabulary is also vastly different. You have been getting along with Felix because of this. You are like a breath of fresh air in his dead lungs. "Hey, beefcake!" Felix hears you call out. You have given him that nickname since the moment you met him, and he would be lying is he said it didn't bring a smile to his face. He turns around, looking down at you. "What cracka-lacking, old man?" you say. He tilts his head to the side in confusion.

"Cracka-lacking?" he asks with a smile on his face. You nod. "Yeah, like, what's up?". He nods, shrugs his shoulder before pointing over his shoulder, notifying you on what direction to go. He continues his walk and you follow him. " Not a lot, I have to bring a message to the secretary,".

You wipe some fake sweat of your forehead. "Pf, glad I showed up. You would have given her a heart attack, homie.". He frowns his forehead as he looks at you. "I can't help how fragile human hearts are," he says in a deep tone. You shake your head and give his arm a soft slap.

"Hearts are not fragile, you're just really fucking scary," you say. "Like a big bear. A big blood-sucking bear,". Felix rolls his eyes at your words as you near the secretary. Panic fills her eyes as she spots Felix but that leaves the moment she sees you. You send her a thumbs-up as you run over to her desk, sitting down into it. "Hi, what's popping?" you ask as you two do your handshake. You created a handshake with her as you spent most of your day with her. Not only was it good to be around her to gain more self-control, but since you are still very new to the vampire world you relate to her the most. "Sto bene, grazie," she says. She doesn't know much English, which is why you are teaching her some and she is teaching you Italian. Felix hands a small note he has been holding to her. She quickly reads through it before sending him a smile. She grabs a package from under her desk and hands it to him. "New clothes," she says in a thick accent.

Felix rips the brown bag of the piece of clothing. A robe. He wraps it around his shoulders to see if it fits. "Cool cape, mosquito boy," you say, earning a laugh from the secretary. "I am as much of a mosquito as you are," he says. You nod your head at him as you jump off the desk, spotting Alec at the end of the hall and walking towards him. "Sounds like something a mosquito would say," you say with a laugh before calling out to Alec.

TWILIGHT TAGLIST:

@scuzmunkie​ @thanossexual​ @prettyinblack231​ @cullens-stuff​ @rexburn12​ @kpopgirlbtssvt​

[hxlyhead-harpies]

The Last Dream of My Soul part 1. (R.L.)

hello everyone! This is the first part of the Remus Lupin series that i’m starting and i am soooo excited. i am still new at this so any feedback is appreciated!! i hope you enjoy!!

Pairing: Young!Remus Lupin x Reader

Summary: The very bookish (Y/n) has spent most of her life alone, aside from her best friends Lily and her beloved books. But when the infamous Marauders get thrust into her life, how could she resist the beautiful and unattainable Remus.

Warnings: Cursing

Word Count: 3.1k

The yellowing and rough pages of old books had always felt like home to you. The smell of the aging parchment and the worn and weathered covers had always offered you more comfort than any real person ever had. On a bad day, you’d be able to curl up in your bed, lulled to sleep by your favorite characters, and adventures more exciting than your own life. As the years pushed forward this was how your life was. You didn’t have many friends but that was okay because you had your books. Who needed a best friend when you could spend your afternoons in Narnia with the Pevensie siblings or tumble through rabbit holes with Alice? For the early years of your childhood, you were content with the reality that you wished you could be in any world than your own. Your boring, magicless, and unmysterious world.

But that all changed the year you turned eleven. You remember the day as if it were yesterday. You were laying on your bed, your legs tangled in the quilt your mother had made. A Nancy Drew book sat in front of you, the plot of which now escapes you but at this point, you had already solved the mystery yourself. It was a perfect summer afternoon. The sun was out and you could hear the other neighborhood kids shouting from outside your window. They never invited you out to play but you were okay with that; you had far more exciting things to read. You were turning a page, nearly halfway through the book, when you heard tapping from your window. Your head shot up- your reading induced trance was now broken- only to be met with the sight of a snowy owl. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. You had never seen that type of bird around here. And you had certainly never seen one clutching a letter between its talons. You carefully marked your page in your book and quickly hopped out of bed. You made your way to the window and attempted to open it, a task that proved difficult for your small eleven-year-old body. After a few moments of a struggle, you finally pried it open. The owl dropped the letter inside your room and flew off. You bent down to pick up the parchment from the floor to see that the letter was addressed to you, and was from someplace called Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

From that moment on your world had been flipped upsidedown, at least in the sense that everything now had to change. But to you, if anything, the world had finally been made right. Magic was real- and you had the pleasure of possessing it. It was like some part of you had always known that magic existed beyond the pages of your favorite books. It was as if everything finally made sense.

You dragged your family down the streets of Diagon Alley, absorbing every bit of magic culture that you could. You reveled in the lights and the feeling of warmth that coursed through your veins when you finally picked up the right wand at Ollivanders. You squealed with delight when your parents purchased you an owl and you nearly died of excitement when you realized that pictures plastered on posters in the alleys moved. And when you ran through the seemingly solid barrier at Kingscross station you thought you would pass out from the thrill. And when you got on the train you curled up by yourself in a compartment, hurriedly reading through your History of Magic textbook, attempting to soak up every bit of knowledge that you could.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

During your first year at Hogwarts, you came to the slow realization that you might actually need friends. Now that you knew that magic was real you wanted to experience as much of it as you could, and it felt rather lonely to experience it all on your own. The characters in your books had always had sidekicks and best friends on their grand adventures, and being accepted into Hogwarts marked the beginning of yours. Now you just needed someone to share it with. Luckily, the pretty girl with brilliant green eyes and glowing red hair that shared your dorm had the same idea.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

By your fourth year, you and Lily Evans were attached at the hip. You spent nearly all your time together, inside and outside of class, and told each other absolutely everything. She knew everything about you, every detail and every secret, and you knew the same about her. Sure you had other friends, Marlene and Alice were nice and you hung around them quite often, but it was nothing like your relationship with Lily. She was the Elizabeth Bennet to your Charlotte Collins. Nobody understood you as she did, and you didn’t think you’d ever find anyone else who did.

But despite your closeness, you always felt a tinge of jealousy towards her. She was everything you weren’t: she was strong and outgoing, she felt no fear when talking to strangers, and it seemed that everyone instantly took a liking to her. Everyone loved her. She had flocks of friends, granted she wasn’t as close to any of them as she was to you, but it occasionally made you feel unimportant. It also seemed as if half of the year was in love with her. James Potter was evidence of that, constantly making a fool of himself to impress her. Lily always scoffed at him, not finding any of his antics even slightly attractive. And out loud you agreed with her that he was just a silly boy, but deep down you wished someone would give you at least a fraction of the attention that he gave her. But that was how it always went. Lily was the type of girl that boys would fall in love with. You, on the other hand, her quiet and shy sidekick, went largely unnoticed. But everything was fine. Because in moments when you felt lonely or inadequate you could turn to your books just as you did when you were young. Fingers tracing over the words of Mr. Darcy’s declaration of love or Romeo and Juliet’s final moments. And at the time, it was enough.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was your seventh year when things really started to change. After years of begging, Lily finally said yes to James. You were happy for her of course, she seemed to really like him. And he obviously really liked her. The way that James looked at her could only be described in the words of your favorite novels. But with her new relationship came uncharted territory: Lily now sat with him at most meals, though every few breakfasts she’d make a point to sit with you, and the spot you usually occupied next to her in the common room was now occupied by James. And the worst part was that you were now alone on Hogsmeade weekends, a time that was usually reserved for you and Lily to walk arm and arm around the small village. But despite all of this you couldn’t be mad at her. You saw how happy she was- and her happiness made you happy as well. But you couldn’t help but feel a tad jealous that she got to feel an emotion that you yearned to feel with your entire being. Love.

“(Y/n) come on!” Lily exclaimed, throwing up her hands in exasperation. You groaned, looking up at her from the book in front of you. You were currently rereading A Tale of Two Cities, a favorite of yours that was littered with dogeared pages and underlined phrases. You made eye contact with your best friends, noticing the frustration in her eyes.

“Can you please just come eat breakfast with us?” she asked, rubbing her temple with her fingertips.

“Lils you know I want to eat breakfast with you but I don’t want to interrupt your time with James,” you replied, starting to look back down at your book.

“You’re not interrupting anything! All of his friends sit with us too!” she said desperately. When you didn’t respond to her exclamation she reached down and snatched the book from your hands.

“Lily!” you cried, sitting up and attempting to steal back your book.

“No (Y/n) I’m not giving this back until you come eat with me! I feel like I never see you anymore,” she said.

“Yeah, that’s because you’re always with James,” you responded while making another sad attempt to reclaim your novel. Lily’s face fell.

“Do you think I’m spending too much time with him? I swear I don’t mean to ignore you, I’ll stop eating meals with him and we can go to Hogsm-” she rambled, practically shoving the old book back into your hands.

“No Lily!” you shouted, cutting her off. “You’re not spending to much time with him! It seems like a perfectly acceptable time to spend around your boyfriend. I just miss you that’s all,” you said quietly. Lily’s face softened.

“Then come eat breakfast with me. I want you to get to know James better. You two are my favorite people I want you to get along,” she once again urged.

“Lily I’m not sure… I don’t really know anyone else there and you don’t have to worry I already like James plenty,” you replied.

“Just come, please! I promise that you’ll like his friends!” she practically begged. You sighed in defeat, finally giving in.

“Fine Lily,” you grumbled, standing up to gather your things.

“Yay!” Lily exclaimed, clapping her hands together.

“But, I can only promise today. If his friends suck I won’t come back,” you exclaimed sternly. Lily nodded solemnly.

“Understood.”

The two of you made your way down to the Great Hall for breakfast as Lily attempted to give you a rundown on the group of boys that you were about to meet.

“Ok so obviously you know James, he plays quidditch and is studying to become an Auror. His best friend is Sirius who, I know, has a reputation but I swear he’s no that ba-”

“Lily I know who they all are! We’ve been in the same house for the last seven years,” you said, interrupting her with a laugh. Lily rolled her eyes at you.

“Yes I know you know them but you don’t know them,” Lily replied.

“Fine fine,” you said, throwing your hands up in surrender. “Continue.”

“Thank you,” Lily smiled. “As I was saying, Sirius is not as bad as everyone makes him out to seem. Yes, he hooks up with quite a few girls but he’s actually very funny and is secretly a sweetheart. Then there’s Peter, who I’ll admit is a little odd, but he’s harmless. And finally, there’s Remus. He honestly reminds me of you: he’s quiet and he reads a lot like you do. But he’s kind of a smartass sometimes so watch out for that,” she said, finished with her rundown. By this point, the two of you had reached the great hall. Breakfast was already in full swing and the room was swarming with students. Lily grabbed your arm and led you to a spot about midway down the table. She plopped down next to James, kissing him quickly on the cheek, causing Sirius to make a fake gagging face, before pulling you down to sit next to her.

“Boys,” she said, attempting to catch the attention of all four boys.

“This is (Y/n), my best mate in the entire world, so you all better be nice to her,” Lily stated matter-o-factly. You looked up to give a meek smile to all the boys. James greeted you warmly, Sirius gave you a small nod, Peter waved excitedly, and Remus didn’t even look up at you. You frowned for a moment before Sirius smacked Remus’s arm from his spot next to him.

“Hey Moony, pay attention we have a guest,” he said jokingly before shooting you a smile. Remus’s head shot up quickly, looking from Sirius to you, locking his eyes with yours. Once he seemingly realized what was happening he shot you a quick smile. You smiled back, attempting to hide the blush that the momentary eye contact had caused. You had always found Remus attractive, but you had never been so near him before. Something about the proximity made you jittery and made your palms sweat.

“Sorry about that,” he said, lifting a book from underneath the table. He flashed the cover of the book towards you. The title, Crime and Punishment, was sprawled across the worn cover. You felt your nose crinkle, reminded of how much you disliked the book. Remus’s eyebrows furrowed.

“What? Not a fan of Dostoevsky?” he asked. You shook your head.

“I guess the plot was interesting enough but oh my Godric was it dense,” you replied with a groan. You heard Remus chuckle from his spot across from you.

“Yeah, I suppose I can see where you’re coming from. I am enjoying it so far though,” he replied. You hummed in understanding before reaching for a piece of toast.

“Oh come on Lily,” Sirius said with a grin. “I can’t believe you would bring another nerd along. We already have Remus, we don’t need another one,” he continued. You felt your face heat up, ducking your head as you bit into the piece of toast. Lily narrowed her eyes at Sirius.

“Sirius I told you to be nice,” she said before throwing a piece of her roll at him. He laughed before throwing his hands up in surrender.

“Sorry (Y/n),” he apologized. You sent him a quick nod to let him know that it was okay, before pulling out your own book. As you stared down at the pages in front of you, you missed Remus perking up in interest.

“What are you reading?” he asked, setting his book down. You looked up quickly, showing him the cover.

“A Tale of Two Cities. It’s one of my favorites,” you answered shyly. You felt Lily shift beside you before speaking.

“She’s read that book probably a million times,” she said. You rolled your eyes.

“I wouldn’t say a million times, but yes I’ve read it quite a few times,” you replied before shifting your eyes back to Remus. He let out a soft laugh.

“I’ve never read it before. I’ll have to pick a copy up when we go to Hogsmeade. One of the shops sells muggle books,” he said with a small smile.

“You can borrow mine!” you said too quickly, causing yourself to blush. He looked at you, surprised.

“Oh, uh sure. I’ll borrow it when I’m done with this,” he replied, once again holding up Crime and Punishment. You heard Lily snicker from beside you.

“Good luck trying to read one of her books,” Lily said. “There’s so much writing in the margins it’s nearly impossible to get through.” You turned to her and smacked her lightly on the shoulder.

“Hey! It’s not that bad,” you said with a slight pout.

“I don’t mind,” Remus said, causing your eyes to turn back to him. “I’ll be interested in reading your thoughts as well as the book,” he said earnestly. You felt yourself smile involuntarily. You were about to reply when James stood up suddenly.

“Damnit we’re going to be late to potions,” he exclaimed. And with that, you all gathered your things and left.

Potions was generally a subject that you were good at. You often found yourself shooting your hand up during class to answer questions and Professor Slughorn had taken a liking to you. However, you found yourself unable to pay attention to the lesson. From your seat on the far side of the room, you had caught yourself staring at Remus. He was joking around with Peter, his potions partner, and had a wide smile spread across his face. He had scars running down his face, though they didn’t make him less attractive. In fact, they only seemed to add to the allure. His hair was messy and fell into his eyes. You felt yourself sigh when he ran his finger through his hair to get it out of his face.

“(Y/n)? Are you all right?” Lily asked, startling you. You nearly jumped from your seat, hand pressed to your chest.

“Merlin Lils! You scared me,” you replied. She squinted her eyes at you.

“(Y/n)? What’s going on with you?” she asked, scanning your face.

“Nothing!” you swore, stealing another quick glance at Remus. That was when the realization hit her. A teasing smile quickly spread it’s way across Lily’s face.

“Oh my goodness you fancy Remus don’t you?” she inquired, making your eyes widen and face flush. You pushed her shoulder lightly.

“Lily hush! And no I don’t!” you exclaimed as you glanced around the room to make sure that no one had heard her.

“Oh, you totally do! All that book talk this morning must’ve really got to you huh,” she said, waggling her eyebrows at you. You put your head in your hands and groaned.

“Shut up Lily!”

“Only when you admit it,” she responded.

“Fine! But you can’t tell anybody! Not even James,” you warned. Lily grinned from beside you.

“Oh, this is perfect! The two of you are perfect for each other!” she exclaimed.

“Lily! Just be quiet. It’s not like it’s ever going to happen,” you said. Lily looked at you, confusion was written all over her face.

“What do you mean it’s never going to happen?” she asked. You sighed, glancing at Remus once again. He was stirring the potion in front of him, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows.

“Lily why would he ever like me?”

“Why wouldn’t he?” she replied, clearly exasperated. You turned to her, giving her an incredulous look.

“We have seven years of evidence that boys don’t like me,” you respond. Lily rolled her eyes beside you.

“Well, this is different trust me,” Lily responded. You stare at her.

“How could this possibly be any different?”

“Because you could actually talk to Remus, get to know him He’ll obviously fancy you once he learns more about you.” Then it was your turn to roll your eyes.

“Lily, it’s never going to happen so just drop it,” you responded. You picked up the recipe for the potion that you were assigned to make that day.

“Now, can you please hand me the adder’s fork,” you said, listing off the first ingredient. Lily sighed.

“Fine. But we’ll be talking about this later.”

[jackedspicer]

C.B.H.!

new chowder oc dropped. Youre gonna hate this guy so much

first of all, corned beef hash is a character that my siblings @collectiveazaelas​ & @castingcomets​ and i have collaborated on making. from the bottom of our hearts, we hope you hate him as much as we do

at first glance, corned beef hash serves as a narrative foil to ms rhubarb. his initial conception centered loosely around antagonizing her, but his personality quickly grew beyond that. he is a beast unto himself and others. his only goal is to be self serving and (intentionally) get in the way of others in his life, primarily the other OCs kumquat and pimento, but also canon characters as well. he does this not out of spite or dislike for others, but rather it’s just because he can, and it is often times the fastest route to his goal. he is the freudian id, if the id had a sense of self control and awareness (though he does occasionally blip out on the latter). 

cbh's age isnt exactly clear. he exists in the comically broad adult world that most of marzipan city seems to: anywhere from 25-2500; whos to say? he graduated valedictorian from law school. around this time, he terrorized his dormmate (and future "friend"), pimento (a ram-like man with a few loose screws), to the point of dropping out and going into the culinary field, as "a kitchen during rush hour is still less stressful than sharing a living space with cbh." cbh is at times a petty thief, and at times a criminal mastermind - it depends on his current "schemes" and what is funny at the time. he knows the law to the letter and sometimes uses it to his advantage. though others sometimes think he is a temperamental idiot, most actions are done through thought-out choice and by utilizing his own strengths.

He has a stand in the farmer’s market at which he sells an assortment of mysterious wares and occasionally baked goods that are Evil & Wrong. The quality of his stock ranges anywhere between genuine artifacts to actual garbage from the dumpster, which he will then try to “spruce up” and sell as something more. He’s a hustler no doubt, and he earns his supply through meticulous dumpster-diving, talking down prices at thrift stores, and general vaguely-illegal tomfoolery. At times, he’ll get his hands on elusive items, and how he accomplishes this is seldom explained (he once was arrested and jailed for 12 days because he “accidentally” was selling illegal dognip). He frequently enlists in Kumquat’s help in his various endeavors and typically has her do the dirty work. For example, one of their foraging techniques involves his hooking her onto a fishing line and casting her out to sea; it’s usually just junk, but sometimes she’s clutching a few shiny souvenirs when reeled back in.

He does move the physical location of his stand around a lot, both to “drain fresh pockets” and to avoid growing too known and hated in one area. That being said, he’s been at this for a while, so every vendor at the farmer’s market knows him and is all too familiar with his cycling. The clientele are just unfamiliar enough to fall for his beguilement, though, save for a few skeevy regulars who seek him out for his stuff.

yes he was valedictorian. yes he was a frat boy all throughout college. yes he does beer kegs by pouring the beer directly into his head. yes hes a criminal mastermind. No its not a big deal

being a “bottlehead” (as he calls himself), he doesnt know what sex is (why would he need to?) but he doesnt know that he doesnt know. he loves the culture of it and he’ll hit on anyone. he doesn’t get vocab, but he’s raunchy without hesitation (see quotes section)

he has his eyes on the front of his skull because hes a pursuit predator

his tragic flaw is that he has no flaws. likewise, his lack of complexity is what makes him complex. He has no insecurities. This guy is a black hole. He is everything, but most importantly, he is Nothing.

It’s typical for him to throw around callous, vulgar, and at times offensive references. Case in point: his favorite nicknames for kumquat are Cumsquat and Cumsquirt. Likewise, his nicknames for pimento are Pissmentos, Bimento, Bitchmento, etc.

whenever he does something to boast about, he pounds his chest, turns around, flashes the back of his jacket, and chants C.B.H.! the way a frat boy chants his college's name

he's largely inspired by the way chris fleming characterizes the massachusettsian frat boy. in our minds, he also shares a voice with him.

he feels no shame and he does not hide himself. He may be a bullheaded, grandiose individual, but that doesnt mean he'll withhold his words of affirmation. he'll say something and really mean it - he gives and withholds performances for no one, as he only serves himself.

He devotes no time to introspection. it’s debatable that he might not even know how, but it would be time squandered as there’s not much to introspect On.

it’s a mistake to misinterpret kumquat as his little buddy whom he feels affection for; in his mind, they’re on the same team is all. hes gotta protect his own. It’s as if they’re in the same frathouse. that being said, hes not a good team player. he gets along with kumquat and at times pimento because they’re both socially passive, and the same goes for any relationship he’s ever had. Working with someone of his caliber would guarantee the butting of heads and stalemates on stalemates. A disaster

he’s heavily inspired by 3OH!3

his other inspirations include grunkle stan, brucie kibbutz, and caesar from big top burger, in equal parts

his species is potion

his mother is a lava lamp, his father is a science flask, and he has several siblings, with one of which being a bong named Oregano.

Cannot stand being called Corn

QUOTES

“C.B.H.!”

“You wanna go? You wanna start some BEEF with the HASH?!”

“By the power vested in me by the state of marzipan city i now pronounce you FUCKED PWNED”

“I’LL SUCK YOUR MOM’S DICK, BRO, DO NOT FUCK WITH ME!”

You want to know if his potion liquid is adhesive so you ask him if he has a meniscus and he thinks that youre asking him smth dirty so he says “hey hey i’m on my day job right now. Come by after 8 and ask me then, see what happens”

“If it’s not broke, we don’t sell it!” (motto)

“You wanna throw rocks at this glass house?”

 “Oh i’m sorry. I’m sorry. I didn’t know it was politically incorrect to have my TITS OUT”

“Broskis can you keep it down, im trying to get my wicked sleep gnar gnar on”

“I’M GONNA COME UNCORKED. IM GONNA COME UNCORKED. IM SERIOUSLY GONNA COME UNCORKED”

“Bro, i can’t deal with you trying to kiss me & shit. I’m not gay. Like, yeah, i’ll fuck a dude, marry a dude, but i seriously can’t be seen smooching someone with horns that big, you dig?”

“MY MOM DOESN’T LIKE YOU, STOP PRETENDING SHE DOES!”

“Yeah, no, yeah, yeah, i’m looking at the fucker right now.”

“Whose bottle do i gotta brush to [XYZ] around here?”

his uncieknuckies-type shitpost blog: @corndbeefhash​

and finally, his difficult person ranking:

[bisexual-books]

Dustin’ off the ole blog (or why I don’t feel bad for Becky Albertali)

Hey guys.  Wow.  Its been like two years since anybody posted here and three since I wrote anything of substance?  In my defense I adopted a teen so life got super duper busy around that time, but now that I’ve (mostly) sorted out the day to day parenting stuff, I’m back.  At least for today.  Because whooo boy do I have A LOT thoughts and feelings about the situation with Becky Albertali.  

So let’s jump right in : I don’t feel bad for Becky Albertali .  Not at all.  I think she is wrong and am not moved by her medium post.  I think Gabby Dunn is on the right track to criticize her and I would like do so as well because I think she is wrong.  

What Albertali (and her twitter fans) seem to willfully ignore in her medium piece is that readers don’t side-eye straight authors without good reason.  We do it because over and over and over again, straight authors do a shit job of writing about queer issues, creating realistic queer characters, and discussing queer issues.  How does an author earn the ability to avoid that side-eye? How do they avoid questions, comments, and concerns about their ability to do those things in their writing?  By being an open and proud member of the queer community ie coming out.  Coming out is important and difficult work in a fundamentally heterosexist society, and hence is rewarded as such by our community.   If you don’t do that work, why exactly should I or any other queer person give you that cachet?  

Fundamentally I see Becky Albertali wanting the socio-emotional bennies of queer author status, without doing the work of coming out.  And I’m just not finding much sympathy for that. She is not owed the benefit of the doubt by readers, particularly queer readers.  She has to earn it.  Yes, it probably was difficult for her to be questioned about her orientation while questioning, but those questions are reasonable and legitimate.  

Queer readers don’t just sit around like a dragon hording legitimacy and saying ‘mwhahaha’ to poor little straight authors.  We do this as a self-protection mechanism with good reason. We’ve experienced characters that are just a grab bag of stereotypes.  We’ve been gutted when straight authors we trusted as allies say horribly offensive things.  We’ve read arguments about queer people that bear no resemblance to our real lives and we’ve literally cried ourselves to sleep over disappointing, nasty, rude, offensive, and heartbreaking books (at least I have).  

If Becky Albertali and her defenders want to make life easier on queer authors, then instead of blaming queer readers for asking those questions, they need to interrogate why those questions need to be asked and how to reduce that need.

Instead I see Albertali in her medium piece blaming queer readers for needing to protect themselves, for needing to side-eye, for needing the explicit power of #ownvoices and support of out authors.  I don’t see her piece putting rightful, blame on straight people and straight culture that created these situations in the first place.  Blaming queer readers for daring to question her is a pernicious type of victim blaming, and I have no time or patience for that.  We erect these walls to protect our own hearts and souls, not because we’re big meanies.  If you don’t want to be on the wrong side of the wall, then help dismantle the need for it.  Don’t blame us for its existence. 

I’ve seen some people on twitter say this is somehow gatekeeping or cutting people off from exploring/discovering their queerness in art.  And I think that argument is off base.  No one was preventing Alberteli from making her art.  She could have written in a notebook or on Smashwords for all the days of her life.  People can make a dozen deviantart accounts or twitter accounts or AO3 accounts or tumblr accounts or discord servers and post their queer art creations all over the internet while they work out their queer feelings.  It is easy and free and no one is stopping anyone else from doing so. 

However I think when you cross the line from creating your queer art to profiting off your queer art, something fundamentally changes.  The stakes go up.  Queer readers need to know so they can decide who to trust with their hard earned cash.  We live in capitalism, man.  If you think that sucks, help dismantle that too. 

Albertali looked back in her piece, so I also want to cast back to early 2015, when Albertali first published Simon vs the Homo Sapiens Agenda.  Bi YA author Corrine Duyvis woudn’t coin the term/hastag #ownvoices until September of that year.  And it was A LOT easier to get a YA book with LGBTQ characters published if you were straight.  How do I know that?  Because it was like pulling teeth to find queer authors writing queer characters outside of small queer presses.  I was hardcore book blogging at that time.  The mainstream publishing industry side-eyed YA/kidlit queer authors, especially those who were less polished due to poverty/educational attainment/systemic racism/disability, to favor straight white authors with post-graduate degrees along with a handful of token queer authors that were already a part of the publishing industry.  This was slowly changing but it hadn’t changed that much.  It was still easier to get a queer YA published as a straight person.

And Albertali knowingly entered into and profited off that system.   

She literally has cash in the bank off the publication of the book Simon vs the Homo Sapiens Agenda, the subsequent film that became Love Simon, the subsequent book reprints and merchandise under the name Love Simon and the subsequent Love Victor show on Hulu.  They sold Love Simon shirts at Hot Topic for $20 for crying out loud.  She was able to obtain that money, prominence, and influence because she presented herself as a straight woman.

There is no comparable story in queer authorland because queer authors are simply not given the opportunity to turn their queer novels into multimedia cash cow franchises.  The closest thing I can think of is Armistand Maupin’s ‘Tales of the City‘ and that took 20 years to be made into a tv miniseries with subsequent books.  That was 27 years ago and to my knowledge, no one sold shirts.  So for most of my/ Albertali’s lifetime, there has been no viable path to create a queer media empire as a queer author.  None. 

Until Albertali did it while pretending to be a straight girl.  

She says that she legitimately did not know she was queer when Simon vs the Homo Sapiens Agenda was published or when Leah on the Offbeat was written.  It does suck that she had to figure that out while living such a public life and I feel bad that it was hard.  But honestly it sucks for everyone to figure that out.  It sucks to figure that out as an isolated teen or a professional adult.  Its just an emotionally grueling process.  Wanna make it better for future people?  Again work to disable heterosexism and heterocentrism in wider society.  Blaming queer people for that heterosexism and heterocentrism, and chiding them for not giving you unearned benefits of the doubt doesn’t do anything to disable those systems.  No one forced you to sign a movie deal or do a ton of interviews, you did that all on your own.  Ignorance of the consequences of your own actions doesn’t exempt you from having to deal with them.  

Only very very recently has the publishing landscape shifted so #ownvoices is a selling point instead of a liability.  Only very very recently (and I would argue very minimally) has the publishing industry valued #ownvoices authors enough to nurture and polish their skills with open submissions and contests for people who don’t have grad degree levels of writing skills.  And Albertali is upset at being excluded from this?  When she literally has the educational privileges of a doctorate and significantly more money than the average queer author has made in my lifetime?  

The closet sucks but no one forced Albertali to stay in it and queer people didn’t create it.  She chose to publish and license her work to reap the benefits, and as such also reaps the consequences.  Apparently one such consequence was that it was personally difficult for her to understand her sexuality and her mental health was poor.  Well.... until we can disassemble heteropatriarchy that is the world we live in.  Get your queer house in order before you go pro and open yourself up to real reactions from queer readers.  But if like Albertali, you don’t do that while choosing more and more publicity and raking in wheelbarrows full of cash, well, don’t expect much sympathy from me.  

- Sarah 

[tsuzuruchipalace]

the other day i came up with, what i think is, a funny and great idea for an a3! american community college au fic, but i don’t think i have the mental strength to see it through. the last long fic i cared about was started in 2015 and i haven’t touched it since january 2018.

idk i may just write little ideas and scenes and keep them in a compilation, but i’d really like to flesh out the au more. but honestly, this is basically me vicariously living the toxic lifestyle i’ll never have through this au.

The working title is “vlog2/26” and I plan to make it a tsuzuru-centric tsuzuita fic

for reference, this story takes place during the school year of 2018-2019 in a fake little town I called Byles Ridge, Pennsylvania. I based it heavily off the city I live in. It’s a shitty northeastern suburb near Philly with a community college five minutes away from my house. In this au, most of Mankai  are Asian-Americans attending or working at Byles Ridge Community College. In my characterization, they all act like typical American gen z kids or millennials, if not slightly exaggerated. My main inspiration was the fic, now book, 006. I also drew inspiration from Community and my real life

here are some of my favorite lines from my outlining:

(fair warning: there is definitely not pg humor in this. if this is going on ao3, it’ll most likely be rated m)

Excerpt from the synopsis: Tsuzuru is like any other emotionally repressed American teenage boy in the 21st century; his hobbies include being single, jerking off, and pretending not to cry when he watches Toy Story 3.

Tsuzuru: “God is Dorothy from Finding Nemo and I’m that little goldfish she shook to death.”

Tsuzuru: “I’m atheist, but everyday I thank god that I wasn’t born British, ‘cause I don’t know how I would’ve handled having to pretend that Mr. Brightside is a good song.”

Tsuzuru: Being friends with Masumi sucks because it means that he’ll refuse to give anyone the aux. I’ll admit, Masumi can have good music taste. He introduced me to a lot of new artists on his “going to Taco Bell” playlist, but when he’s in a pissy mood, he’ll exclusively play XXXTentacion and now I know all the lyrics to Sad! and that’s not the person I want to be.

Masumi: “Sakuya, what the fuck is The Prince of Denmark. I talked up Miss Tachibana about Romeo and Juliet and said I was a big Shakespeare fan, then she started reciting old English.”

Sakuya: “Tsuzuru, are you okay? You look like you’re having another Michael in the Bathroom moment.”

Excerpt from Chikage’s profile: Does Zumba and weed on the weekends.

the entirety of tenma’s profile i’m so proud of this one

Tenma: is a popular football player who is still living off the high of being the Gerber Baby of Lucky Charms in 2003. He’s a first-year theatre major like Sakuya. Thinks he’s Troy from High School Musical. He uses Axe body spray and TikTok thirst traps to hide his increasingly apparent homosexuality and his middle school obsession with One Direction... There are two wolves inside you. One wolf is homophobic. One wolf finds Zayn Malik hot. You are Tenma Sumeragi.

Tenma: “It’s not gay to watch High School Musical bro. HSM is a cultural phenomenon and belongs in the Library of Congress. If you don’t like it, you’re a traitor to America.”

Yuki: “I have more balls than either of you and I’m wearing a Hello Kitty bath towel right now.”

Misumi: “Of course I do weed. I’m autistic, not a loser.”

Excerpt from Kazu’s profile: Has 100k followers on Tiktok for shaking his ass and being a local nuisance. Cried when Vine shut down.

Kazu: “How many times do I need to dance to Doja Cat before I get my clout?”

Excerpt from Taichi’s profile: Considered opening a cat femboy OnlyFans back when he didn’t have enough money to pay for his growing Bakugan collection. Kissed a boy once for a dare and didn’t like it, but still vibes to Katy Perry’s I Kissed a Girl cuz that shit slaps.

Banri: *after listening to Troye Sivan for the first time* “I hope this doesn’t awaken anything in me.”

Taichi: “Everyone rise for the national anthem: Sk8ter Boi by Avril Lavigne.”

Azami: “I’m gonna go listen to Pierce the Veil and cry until Gerard Way comes back.”

Tsumugi: “At this rate, I’m going to have to find a man on Christian Mingle.”

Excerpt from Tasuku’s profile: Has repressed the idea that he’s in love with Tsumugi ever since they kissed in Christian summer camp when they were 12. Doesn’t remember that, due to the repression. But Tsumugi does.

Excerpt from Homare’s profile: He either dresses like it’s 1940 or like he’s the hero from the children’s show Lazytown. Will start crying if someone brings up the Library of Alexandria

Azuma: “Do I sleep with strangers? Yes. Do I take money from strangers? Yes. Am I a prostitute? No, because those are two separate occasions.”

Guy: “Can you inform me what a Juul is?”

“That’s a fucking Baja Blast in his hand.” “What the shit.” “Itaru Chigasaki orders fucking Baja Blast from Taco Bell. Unbelievable.” “Who doesn’t. Baja Blast fucks.” “I’m snapping this.” “You’ll put that camera down right now before I snap your neck.” “The public deserves to know.” “A man has a right to privacy, especially when it comes to his eating habits.”

And if you’re interested in this au, here’s my playlist for it, subject to change (feel free to suggest songs). Some songs are what I imagine the main characters would listen to and some just fit the vibe of the au:

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLIjsgyx8Ea22wwH4eO-QlywAiIVWZNcCx

[shyrose57]

Brothers anon and I actually was skipping through the official City of Mizu episode and realized I missed Skeppy as a idol. So if you follow Skeppy you get to learn about different kinds of gems and what they can be used for, get trained on proper safety when mining, what to look for and avoid when mining, and they also get to go on supply runs that specifically require mining, though not many people follow Skeppy because mining is dangerous. Also I missed Charles personality a good bit so ima change it to where he's still quite, reserved and anxious, but is adventurous, curious, dedicated to his interests, and when given the chance or talking about his interests he gets very excited and talks a lot. Like a excited puppy. 

1: People can get kicked out of a idol following for many reasons, like disrespecting the idol and their peers, claiming some of the history their learning is fake, attacking anyone in the city (like stabbing, they just get chastised for fist fights), and breaking multiple rules of the city. And some people don't choose a idol, though its highly unlikely as those who don't know what idol to pick tend to pick Tommy or Tubbo. Those who choose not to choose a idol, tend to only work in farming, as its a easy job to learn. Its for these people that the idol-less council member was added, the council member also represent other cities and kingdoms that do still acknowledge and trade with Mizu. Most houses are actually built out of the side, like how we saw the idol rooms in the official episode, and their kind of scattered about, theres some halls filled with homes, but some halls have no homes. The halls with the homes tend to be the biggest/widest halls of the city, as to allow for room for the families living there, and also because theres sometimes stores in this area. Some halls also have multiple levels to allow for more room, these specific halls are referred to as Residential Complex, and only house homes in their multiple levels. While halls that hold only a few homes arent called anything special. Because outside affairs are very complex, most kingdoms and cities ignore Mizu, treating them with disgust and some times, people who have done supply runs that go into cities have reported having higher prices on what they want to buy, and disrespect from all citizens and police. But some kingdoms and cities respect them and trade with them without any tricks. The councils main agurement in this situation is that, the nice city is very far away, a weeks travel, but the mean city is close, only a 2 day walk away. They agure about what to do and what city to travel too for all supply runs. And another agurement that the council often has is what to do with visitors, they had visitors in the past that had destroyed and stole items in Mizu while causing disruptions, but some also brought their own culture and items and happily exchanged said culture and items. So their conflicted on if visitors should be welcomed or turned away. 

3: He went through what Ranbob did, being held to high standards that he just couldn't meet. But unlike Ranbob, he spoke up about his problems and managed to get held to lesser standards and allowed time to recover. When he moved out he originally lived on his own in a forest, and because he was vulnerable to monsters he didn't know how to handle, he had to make many fast paced despite when cornered by monsters or when trying to save crops or his house. And since he was also the oldest child of a 6 child family, he had to constantly look after his siblings, giving him his father-like attitude and knowing how to help people in basically almost any situation. His siblings are (current ages) Nick-17, calm, information nerd, introverted and Benjamins favorite brother. Rock-10, a tiny gremlin that loved to mess with people, he often broke bones or broke items when playing due to his rough play style and broke rules, Benjamin was the only one who could calm him. Ion-16, a teen that is very adventurous and always wandering off, she always talked about traveling the world, the hardest one for Benjamin to keep track of. Stellar-13, in love with space, but other than that is a normal child, but she also has a fascination with monsters like enderman, often wondering where they come from, Benjamin doesnt have any strong opinions on her.  And finally, Juka-15, they are very invested in redstone, often experimenting on it and trying to make different things with it, often the stuff they make blows up, Benjamin admires Juka's persistence and love for redstone but also wishes they'd stop blowing up the damn kitchen. 

8: Totems do exist, their just so rare its not believed Techno managed to have and use one. So that part of the story got lost and left out over time. Pandoras vault has fallen, mostly because of a break out by Dream that destroyed most of it, and because it had fallen into disrepair. And they do have such advanced technology to make such a prison now, but they doubted the SMP had such technology and availability to do it in their time. And there is also a great lack of evidence (expect for the actual building, but even then people agure it was used for something else) supporting the existence of Pandoras Vault. 

Ran and Ranbob used to feel confused and hurt, not understanding why the world hated their home and why the world was so mean to them. Over time they learned why they where shunned, but still didn't completely understand. Eventually they grew used to it, and learned to avoid saying where they lived, unless they wanted to partake in a fight. They very very rarely say that they came from Mizu, as they had learned long ago from both classes and personal experience. But a few times it was revealed they lived in Mizu, they had to just endure it and move along, even though Ran really wanted to punch a fucker. They became friends when Charles went to him during the trip to the flower field, asking to join in on a game he was playing. Its a miracle the two didn't get a heart attack tbh.

10: He was not! Ranbob was too weak for Dream to access all of his powers. And Dreams constant hold of control and withholding food and all the essentials from him, made him even weaker. No one is aware of it, not even Ranbob. A mix of pissed, a weird sort of pride, and determination. The pride and determination is there because knowing Dream thinks that way of them, confirms that they're enough of a threat that Dream actually acknowledges them. And helps them believe that they could truly beat Dream if they tried. Though it also means Dream will try his damned best to kill them. 

13: Yeah he comes out on top, he still has some advantages over the others even without tatics, like his speed and he knows how to sneak around and use the area to his advantage pretty well. 

14: He seemed more finicky, more nervous and anxious. Constantly trying to seperate himself from the group when he tends to stay very close by. And more on edge/quick to snap at others.

 Ayy! Starting off with Skeppy and Charles, what a wonderful way to begin. How did Skeppy’s few followers mine? Were there mines under the sea floor? Did they travel out of Mizu to go find mines in the earth? 

1: Hm, interesting. The idol-less leader seems to have quite a bit on their shoulders, if they deal with all outside affairs. Were they specifically selected to learn their position? Since you said most of them farm, but all those politics and stuff seem kind of different from it. Does Ranbob remember any of the nice cities? Did either boy ever meet a former visitor that recognized them from back then?

3: Benjamin’s family sounds really cool. Does the gang ever get to meet them? If so, how do they get along with them?

8: Huh. Well, how about Woodland Mansions? What happened to those, to make totems so rare? So Pandora still stands today? Cool. Does the gang ever come across it? Where would it be located-or well, what areas would be around it? Is it used for anything else nowadays?

And that sucks. If this happens while the brothers are at odds with each other, do they still help each other out with it, since they’re being mocked about their home, or do they just ignore it, and such. How do their respective groups feel both about them being from Mizu, and how they’re treated for it, both before and after the two hauntings started to merge? Did it effect how they thought of them in anyway?

And that sounds cute. What game was it, and who won? 

10: Hmm. Was Dream aware he was causing Ranbob to become weaker, or was he that out of touch with human needs? Also, I think I remember way back then, you mentioned this part of Dream was the evil bits that survived his death.

What do you think would happen if they somehow managed to end up seeing the good parts, maybe with a similar artifact that Ranbob found in your supposed fluff?

13: Nice.

14: Oh, no. That’s not good.