#and like to be clear. i can be a super awkward person! probably have the ‘tism! it’s not naturally easy but it absolutely can be learned

[gohandinhand]

(Same anon who asked about eloping) kudos to you!! I can't even make friends properly because of the way that i am -- are. That being said, stay rad ✌️

as fun as the eloping jokes are, i want to be serious for a mo to say that the friendships i've made online have been a consistent source of joy, strength, and love for me - whether or not they develop into something romantic/queerplatonic/whatever or stay "just" friends.

i don't have many friends i see in person often at this stage in life (moving to a new state while working a remote job does that to you) but i'm still auntie to the kids of a friend i made online as an 18yo. there are longtime tumblr mutuals i've hung out with in person many times over the years, or just met in person for the first time recently. moots who i have little to no chance of ever meeting in person but we talk on the phone a few times a week; friends i play dnd with, have movie nights with, who hang out to write and make art together. making these connections has become easier, ime, as discord has risen in popularity and fandom usage - many of my closest friends today i met and/or deepened a connection with in a fandom discord server - but there are all sorts of ways to spend time together and build community enabled by this modern miracle we're using to talk right now!

be careful with labeling yourself as something fixed and closing doors prematurely that could bring so much joy into your life if you're able to muster up courage just long enough to step through them. remember that being a person means we are constantly changing & becoming. i'm not at all the same person i was five years ago. i'm not even that close to the same person i was one year ago! the more i open myself to love & connection - yes, even with the risk of rejection and pain - the bigger and more joyful my life becomes.

there is no correct or "proper" way to make or be a friend. personally i take the approach of deciding i like someone and just start sending them messages until either a) one day we're friends or b) they don't show interest in conversation/things naturally peter out - this is fine, none of us will be everyone's cup of tea and being universally palatable would require grinding the most vibrant parts of yourself down. this is not the goal to strive for. usually i get outcome a, because it's something i've practiced a lot and i've gotten better at gauging things, but not always - and that's okay! making and maintaining relationships that serve both parties can be a delicate dance sometimes, but i think nothing in life is more worth trying.

[fairyofshampgyu]

Super shy !

genre: smut, baker au, college au, crack

Pairing: shy loser virgin bakery worker ! soobin x college customer ! reader

Warnings: sub soobin, dom reader, clubbing, loss of virginity, riding, hand job, titty groping (can’t be a Soobin smut without him being obsessed with boobies be fr), premature ejaculation,

word count: 2.9k

As soon as you stepped into the newly established campus bakery, walking up to the counter and observing all the pastries, contemplating for a rather long time before you end up deciding on what you’d usually order anyway, Soobin couldn’t help feeling like his world got totally turned upside down. The sight of you rendering him completely speechless and unable to even think.

Time seemingly going by so slow like in the kdramas as your shiny hair majestically blows in the non existent wind inside, smile brightening up the entire bakery. He could practically see the roses blooming around your face like in the mangas. Was this love at first sight?!

Realistically, no.

But were you incredibly attractive to him and a breath of fresh air to the moody, stressed out college students that purchase a single coffee and stay for hours completing assignments with their backs concerningly hunched over? Hell yes.

And unfortunately for Soobin, he does not do well with pretty people. At all. Not realising you had even ordered, too in awe and preoccupied with taking in all your features until he’s snapped back to reality with the clearing of your throat and he can already feel his cheeks burning up horribly fast. Oh god. He really, really hopes it’s not evident right now.

“S-sorry…What did you say?” He begins apologising profusely to you, too embarrassed to even look you in the eyes, staring off more to the side. This was definitely not his best customer service.

With a chuckle, you brush it off and state your order again, “I said could I have the strawberry swirl cheesecake please?” If Soobin could look at himself in third person, he would so be face palming right now. Or better yet, maybe he could just go up and like, punch himself straight up or something for acting like such a loser.

“Ah right... That’s ₩7500. Cash or card?”

You pay with cash and Soobin, very nervously, fumbles around to garner the right amount of change to hand you, though doing it in the most awkward way possible and his palm makes direct contact with yours as he hands the money, making him blush even more and let out a small obvious gasp at the feeling of your soft hand. Oh my god. Why did he do that?! He really hopes you didn’t find that weird.

You only let out another chuckle, thanking him before you’re leaving the bakery in an elegant manner and Soobin is left to sigh and watch your back disappear. Damn it. He’ll probably never see you again. You were so pretty and so cute, too cute even-

“You’re such a virgin.”

His thoughts about you are abruptly dissipated by his coworker and unfortunately best friend, Choi Beomgyu who gives him the stupidest, most annoying grin he would definitely like to slap off his face right now.

“Just shut up.” Soobin grimaces and rolls his eyes at beomgyu, bringing a batch of freshly baked cookies out of the oven behind him and placing them into the display glass one by one.

"You’re pinker than the strawberry macarons we sell. That's saying something." Beomgyu raises an eyebrow at him with sass.

So does that mean you could see how flustered he was getting then? Oh no! Soobin clears his throat and narrows his eyes at beomgyu anyway. “Am not.”

“Are too! Anyway, all I’m saying is that interaction was painful to watch. You’re really giving pathetic, loser, virgin right now. I cant lie.” Beomgyu attempts to stifle in one of his obnoxious laughs.

Soobin is quick to snap back, "You've only ever slept with one person!"

"S-so!! At least im not a virgin!" Beomgyu’s cheeks also become the equivalent to the strawberry macarons as he scrambles to try and defend himself, brows furrowed and cheeks puffed.

“Well, the concept of a virgin is purely societal anyway. It doesn’t actually matter. It doesn’t mean anything really.” Soobin bitterly replies, continuing to work whilst his counterpart does completely nothing like most of the time. It's usually soobin that does work, remind him not to agree to beomyu's silly ideas of getting a job together ever again.

Beomgyu scoffs and snickers at this, "Whatever. You’re just saying all that to make yourself feel better because you’re a loser. LMAO"

"I’ll punch you right now."

"Then we'll both be fired~”

A poor customer still awaits at the counter to be served, standing in bewilderment and tiredness. Waiting for the two bakers to finish bickering and sighing as they don’t seem like they’re going to stop anytime soon.

Soobin doesn’t expect to see you again, in complete honesty, he’s almost forgotten you even exist after you never come again. But he’s in luck and more than pleasantly surprised when he hears the bell to the door go ding!, indicating a customer had walked in. He looks up from the cake he was decorating and in comes you looking cuter than the first time he saw you. He tries not to mess up the cake and he stands up straight almost instantly when he sees you, waiting for you to order and trying to remain calm.

You laugh and point at his cute nose when you come up to the counter. “You have like, icing all on your nose.”

“O-oh. I do?” He points at himself and you nod in reply. He feels himself going redder by the minute. He must look so stupid right now! And he urgently brings his sleeve up and tries to wipe the icing off his nose to not make himself look an even more of a complete fool in front of you .

“Ah wait no. Let me do it!” You lean over the counter as you see him struggling and wipe it off the top of his cute bunny like nose instead for him.

And that was the end of soobin. The end.

-

You become a regular at the bakery and soobin becomes a regular of embarrassing the absolute shit out of himself each time he sees you. He really doesn’t think he can top the previous comedic disaster that occurs when you enter, yet he always proves himself wrong, the awkwardness reaching new heights each time. From dropping trays of pastries, spilling drinks, nearly slipping in front of you, giving you a ₩50000 note when it was only ₩5000 change, the list goes on and on. He’s actually surprised he hasn’t lost his job yet.

And there’s also always a disappointed beomgyu shaking his head afterwards ready to make fun of him when Soobin promises to make a move but freezes every time you’re in sight, too much of a pussy.

“I’m calling an intervention.” Beomgyu declares and sighs after the nth time of soobin making absolutely no moves on you whatsoever, “Soobin, my man, my bro, you desperately need to get banged. It’s painful seeing the way you act. Your little crush is not gonna like you with the way you act. That’s it. We’re going clubbing tonight after this shift. No buts.”

“But-”

“I said no buts!”

“You know I hate clubbing.”

“You’ve never even been with me despite my constant pleads.” Beomgyu shakes his head and makes a dramatic pained face at his way.

“So? I know I’ll hate it.”

“You’re such a hater bro.”

“Yes I am. And I take pride in it. I’m a hater of everything.”

Beomgyu just sighs. He was utterly hopeless.

Unfortunately, there was no way Soobin could get out of this because beomgyu was having absolutely none of his protests and excuses and that’s how he ends up finding himself at the club anyway after his shift, sitting off to the side as he watches beomgyu disappear somewhere into the crowd. Soobin sighs as he downs his jack and coke. This was going to be a long fucking night.

-

In the dimly lit club, soobin’s discomfort was palpable, like a fish out of water and you noticed instantly upon arrival. It’s that cute tall baker boy who always serves you! You excitedly make your way and sit next to him, he looked a little lonely. “Hey! You work at that bakery on campus. I go there!”

Soobin’s eyes nearly fall out of his sockets at the sight of you sitting next to him and he nearly chokes on his drink as he splutters on his straw and nods. Act calm, act calm, act calm, act calm. Act cool and mysterious.

It’s you! You’re speaking to him?!

“So…these things not really your scene, huh?”

“Gee. How did you ever notice?” Soobin attempts to smile and joke with dry humour but it executes a little more awkward and nervous than how he would have liked.

You also try to carry on the conversation since this is the first time you’ve got to ever actually talk to the cute boy before. “I’m very intuitive. I can just sense things like that.”

He laughs at that too, feeling a bit more comfortable around you now. “No but yeah, I’d much rather be at home right now sleeping. Can’t say I’m much of an advocate for getting stupidly drunk with sweaty people you don’t even know with terrible rave music and flashing lights that should have an epilepsy warning”

“I get it.” You chuckle at how passionate he gets talking about how much he hates clubbing, frown on his cute face. “So why are you here then?”

“Friend wanted me to. Said I needed to finally get laid or whatever.” Soobin rolls his eyes and sips on his drink again, motioning his head to the direction of beomgyu on the dance floor, clearly drunk off his ass now.

“Oh, you’re a Virgin?”

Soobin’s ears go red when he realises what he said to you. “O-oh um y-yeah I guess…”

“Are you waiting for like marriage or the right person or something?” You question, genuinely surprised. He was tall and very attractive and it was rare for college boys to not hook up every single night these days.

“God no. Just never happened. I don’t really care for things like that. It’s probably overhyped anyway and doesn’t even feel that good. Like porn is highly unrealistic anyway.”

“You think so?” You chuckle at him and he nods, continuing to cutely sip on his drink with his straw. “Well maybe you should to try it out first and see for yourself.” Your words start to become a little flirty as you grow more confident talking with him and also because of the alcohol making you slightly tipsy now. “Sorry, but do you want to get out of here?”

“Yes please.” Soobin’s eyes widen even more at your suggestion and he’s more than happy to get out of here with you especially.

“Umm your friend is a bit….out of it right now.” You watch beomgyu drunk from afar, whipping his long hair back and forth claiming to everyone around he’ll be able to do it fast enough to lift off his feet and fly like a helicopter.

“He’ll be…he’ll be fine I’m sure”

Soobin has no idea what good stuff he must have done in his past life to get to this moment right now, in your room, making out with you, in your bed. Did he mention making out? With you?! The customer he’s been crushing on for months?! Holy, he might hyperventilate right now. It all feels like a dream. Is this real right now?

You cup his cheek and move into his lap, continuing to move your lips against his and soobin’s ears and face are all flushed, breathing loud of enough for you to hear and he looks all nervous and a little shaky.

You stop kissing him but he chases after your lips still and you stroke his cheek, “Are you okay Soobin?”

He’s only able to nod, lips parted and eyes all glazed over. He’s so out of it just from making out with you it’s crazy. But so cute too.

“C-can you…can we…just want…”

“What do you want, baby?” You chuckle and stroke his cheek as he manages to utter some words. The petname only makes his head go even more haywire.

“W-want you…”

“What do you want me to do?” You giggle and coo at him.

He shyly shows you the boner he’s had this entire time. You can’t believe he got a boner just from some kissing. “Can you-will you touch me…please? Need it…” He pleads at you nervously, so red in the face.

“Are you sure?”

He nods his head exceptionally fast and you begin to unbuckle his jeans as he watches you take his flushed and hard dick out, breathing only becoming heavier. Damn, you didn’t think he’d be that big.

You take him into your hands and his mouth his already agape, gasping when you slowly start to stroke him.

You pump his big cock at a steady pace so as not to overwhelm him too much, though twisting and thumbing at the tip occasionally that has him drooling at the corner of his mouth and beads of precum dribbling out heavily from his cock. It’s endearing how far gone he is just at you stroking his dick slow, shy whimpers and other noises eliciting from his mouth.

You unbutton you shirt with your other hand as you continue to pump him and his eyes go crazed at the sight of your tits, you guiding his own big inexperienced hands to grope at them and he does, slumping his head into your neck and shoulder moaning into it and still groping and squeezing at your tits.

With a sudden yelp you feel Soobin’s cum spurt up and leak into your hands, his eyes rolling back as he whimpers continuously from his premature orgasm.

He doesn’t lift his head from your shoulder yet, too embarrassed to face you but he eventually does, eyes still half lidded, trying to catch his breath and he’s hard again. “W-will you fuck me? Please please please. Wanna feel it, wanna feel you, please?” He practically begs, still panting out.

“Are you really sure, Soobin? With me?”

“Yes please! Only want you.”

You study his face for any hesitancy but it’s clear he’s so set on wanting you to fuck him. So you wrap your hands around both his wrists and bring him to lay down on your pillows instead, you still straddling his lap.

When you’ve undressed your lower half, you bring his dick and slide it over your entrance a few times, he moans out loud, hands coming up shyly to cover his face and then you sink down incredibly slowly on his massive length . Soobin’s jaw drops and breath hitches at the feeling of his dick finally in your warm pussy, a strangled moan ripping out of him. He could seriously cum just from being in you right now, but he tries so hard not to or you’ll be disappointed and he doesn’t want to see you disappointed or embarrass himself even more.

“You good, baby?”

“M’ f-fine. Just-Just need a minute.” Soobin shakes out.

You take his hands away from his face and lean down to softly kiss him instead, trying to calm him down and he effuses into your mouth, kissing back passionately with his eyes closed.

“I’m ready now…” He pulls away after a while and looks you in the eyes.

So you start to slowly move, riding him, going up and down on his virgin dick. Soobin’s mouth hangs open in endless moans and gasps and whimpers, face buried into your pillow to the side and his hair all messy now. Whole body flushed and shaking underneath you.

“Better than you thought, baby?” You grunt out, bouncing on top of his cock.

“So much better. O-oh my god, f-fuck…ah!” So maybe sex wasn’t overhyped after all. Because goddamn, you feel so fucking good. Maybe it was just you. But Soobin truly feels like he’s gliding on fluffy clouds right now. All the times he’s touched himself not even coming close to how he feels right now stuffed in your pussy as you fuck him, watching mesmerised as your tits bounce with each movement. He could die here right now in full contentment. Oh how he was so wrong.

It’s not long at all before Soobin can’t hold it anymore. His hips bucking up and breath hitching as a loud strangled mewl tumbles out of his mouth and you feel hot cum fill you up suddenly that makes you still your movements on him. He lets out a long slurred groan and then goes limp beneath you, eyes closing shut and open as he fades from conscious to not every now and then. Is he really that fucked out?

After a while, he finally somewhat recovers and comes back to you from his high, still panting out and chest rising up and down. He looks up at you with a small shy smile on his lips, arm thrown over his forehead.

“You know I literally only go to the bakery because of how cute and silly you are and how you always make a mess of yourself whenever I walk in” You chuckle and admit, drawing shapes into his chest.

“W-wait you knew I liked you?” Soobin asks, shocked and feeling embarrassed again.

You laugh, “Come on, you made it rather obvious.”

Please actually reblog !!!!!! and leave comments !!!! guys 😭 if you like the fic. It’s really appreciated and so nice tysm !<3🙏💕🌷🌷! It’s incredibly discouraging and irriating when fics have such little reblogs ☹️. At least send an anon in the inbox if you don’t want to rb, don’t just like. Feedback is always appreciated it make writers want to actually write :)

A/n: having serious writers block rn but forced myself to write this in practically one sitting (it was so painful) and has not been proof read at all so if it makes no sense I apologise 😭

[eggroll-sama]

Accidental Kiss with Spiderman

You are working for the Spider Society and you have a platonic relationship with your crush (for now). When both of you were distracted, you collide and accidentally lock lips. How would they react???

Characters: Miles Morales, Hobie Brown, Pavitr Prabhakar, Miguel O’Hara || SFW

Miles

Even if he likes you or not, he’s going to put some distance between the two of you. He won’t try to take advantage of you like that. If he doesn’t reciprocate, he’d sweep it under the rug. If he likes you, he’d feel disappointed that his first time kissing you was an accident. Not that he didn’t like kissing you, he did! But in his head his first time kissing you was super smooth, charming, and relaxed. No, instead he’s super bashful, scratching the back of his head and apologizing to you.

Since he can be self-conscious, he’d probably think you didn’t like it and is afraid you think he was creepy. If you chicken out on confessing to him, he’d look back on the kiss every single night and cringe to himself. That’s why for both of your sanity, telling him that you liked the kiss straight afterwards is the best course of action.

“Gosh, I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean to you know, do that. I wasn’t looking, I mean I have spider senses, we both do, why doesn’t it work when you need it haha- ……You liked it? Really? Wait, so you like me like that? Then do you want to… try again? I promise I won’t push you away this time.”

Hobie

If you accidentally kiss anybody, then Hobie Brown is the guy. His lips are very soft and warm and he doesn’t push you away in an offensive manner. Overall a very pleasant accidental kiss. There’s a 99% chance that he knew you liked him, so that’s why he will treat the kiss casually but in a detached manner. Even if he doesn’t like you back, he’d be nice about it and talk to you later like nothing happened. He still wants to continue being your friend.

The only disadvantage to this is that it’s possible you’d be pining even more after the kiss. In that case, you’d have to bring it up to him and tell him how you feel. And he might accept your confession! He believes so long as you feel there’s a possibility that you’d fall for the person, it’s alright to not have feelings for them when you start dating.

In the case that he does like you, he will tease you a lot, making comments like you probably did it on purpose for him to kiss you. Even after you shut him up with a kiss he’d be laughing to himself. He’s enjoying himself a little too much seeing you irritated at him asshole. Biting him will probably shut him up.

Pavitr

The first thing that comes to his mind is, ‘This is exactly how it plays out in that one tv show!’ Yeah, he initially gets distracted, fanboying to himself, but then he pulls himself together.

He’d try to act super smooth with you. Oh yeah, he’s Spiderman, an accidental kiss is nothing to him, pshhhh. Probably the only one out of the four that would miss his chance of confessing his feelings because he’s trying too hard to seem unbothered. Later on, he regrets not telling you how he felt.

Ahhh how could I let go of my chance like that! I should’ve just confessed instead of trying to play it cool! Stupid Pavitr!

The next time he sees you, he pulls you to a private place and tells you how he feels. He’s elated when he finds out you like him back and hugs you tightly. Then he’s on flirting mode.

“Considering our first kiss didn’t go as planned, want to try it a second time :)))?”

Miguel

His reaction depends: if he doesn’t have feelings for you, his arms shoot out instinctively and gently puts distance between the two of you. The kiss lasts less than a second. As the leader of the Spider Society he feels that it is unprofessional to kiss a coworker. He’d apologize and make it crystal clear that he didn’t mean anything by it. Yes it would be awkward the next times you see each other, but it’ll eventually be normal.

If he does like you back but it was during a mission or in a public area, he would also push you away, but moreso out of embarrassment of people seeing him. But when he is all by himself, his mind wanders. He replays the scene on his projector, proceeds to feel like a pervert and closes the tab, ten minutes later he opens it again and groans in frustration, leaning on his desk, one of his hands on his burning face. Lyla teases him, “You’re such a pervert.” He’s going to avoid you as long as he can, giving excuses of being busy. It’s up to you to break the awkwardness.

If he does like you back and you guys kiss in a private setting, then it’s a completely different story. When he sees that you’re not pulling away, he’d wrap his hands around your waist and pull you close, indulging in a sensual kiss. He’d push you against the nearest hard surface and won’t pull away until he’s out of breath. For a guy that hasn’t been in a relationship for years, he’s still a very good kisser and your satisfied expression confirms it.

[videovamptramp]

you aren’t mine to lose

// you’ve had a crush on ellie since you were kids. you two have always been best friends; until she gets a girlfriend who ironically hates you. //

warnings: pinning, angst, stoner/dealer!ellie, modern day au, i can never write anything happy, this isn’t proof read so my grammatical errors may need a warning???

(you love me, but you’ll never love me as much as you love her)

ellie has been your best friend since you were both 13. throughout high school, the two of you only grew closer. your mother often joked that you were both conjoined at the hip. everywhere ellie was, you were, and vice versa. your crush on ellie started a little after the first year of high school. the brunette has always been really nice to you; even if she was awkward, and didn’t understand very many social cues… ellie was your favorite person in the whole wide world.

your crush on ellie only got worse as the two of you got older. you even found yourself following her after graduation to the university of jackson. now it was your first year of college, and the two of you were still the best of friends. that is, until ellie got a girlfriend. in all honesty, you were a depressed wreck when ellie first started talking to tiffany. she was a blonde with blue eyes, and had a body that could stop a trucker from a mile away. she was perfect in every single way, and it was obvious why ellie liked her. it was also pretty obvious that tiffany hated you. ellie was, of course oblivious to the tension between you and the psych major, but you were pretty sure tiffany only hated you because she knew how you felt about ellie.

but that didn’t discourage you from keeping your friendship with the brunette you’ve come to love so much. you never expected ellie to return your feelings. in fact, that’s the main reason you’ve been so supportive of her relationship with tiffany from the beginning. sure, it made you sad and sometimes you didn’t want to talk to ellie, because all she’d talk about was tiffany… but you still tried really hard to text her and hang out with her. maybe it wasn’t as much as you two used to, but still, you were trying and that’s all that matters, right?

“so are you gonna be at jesse’s party tonight?” your roommate dina inquires curiously, as she folds some of her clothes. she pulls you out of your ellie-induced thoughts, causing you to pry your eyes away from the textbook you hadn’t been paying any attention to. “um, no. i have to study for my english seminar. mr. lydon always calls on me.” you half lie, and dina rolls her eyes playfully. “that’s because you practically know everything already. he’s impressed and probably gonna offer you a position as a student teacher next year.” she admits, and your eyes light up at the thought. you were majoring in english, because it’s always been your dream to be an english teacher or professor.

“you really think he’ll ask me? yara’s super smart and she’s been talking about wanting to be a student teacher since the year started.” you point out, while dina waves dismissively after putting some of her shirts away. “he’s definitely gonna ask you, y/n. you two are always talking about star wars and your weird love for the semi colon.” she taunts, making you blush in a bit of embarrassment. “it’s just… it’s a pause without a coma or period— never mind, you wouldn’t understand. science geek.” you tease your roommate back, causing her to gasp in mock offense as she reaches for a pair of folded socks, tossing them right at your face.

you giggle, and as your laughter dies down, dina flashes you a look. “you should really come tonight though. ellie’s gonna be there.” she continues to pick on you, but you can hear the slight seriousness in her tone. you groan, “which means tiffany is also gonna be there.” you counterpoint. you say the blonde’s name as if it’s venomous, and dina shakes her head, the annoyance on her face clear as water. “ugh, i hate her. i swear, if she tries to psycho analyze me because i had a bad day one more time, i’m going to punch her and ruin that nose job her daddy paid for.” dina states in a tone too serious to be a joke, and you flash her a look of surprise before you both burst into a fit of laughter.

“still, you should go with me tonight. word on the street is ellie and her have been arguing a lot lately.” dina confesses, and this seems to spike your interest. you quirk a brow in your roommates direction, ellie hasn’t told you anything about her and tiffany fighting. then again, you’ve barely been texting ellie about anything other than plans for group hangouts or memes. “what are they fighting about?” you ask, unable to hide the fact that you’re suddenly intrigued. dina shrugs, “i don’t know, but it seems pretty bad. i heard tiffany yelling the other day. like at the top of her lungs yelling. i think the dorm rep had to get involved.” she explains, and your eyes widen a bit.

why didn’t ellie tell me anything?

“look, we can go with our matching flare jeans!” dina holds up the pair of black jeans she had just washed; they were your favorite pair because they had hearts on them. you shake your head, offering her a small smile. “fine. i’ll go; but if i get anything less than a eighty on tomorrow’s assignment, i’m blaming you.” you warn her playfully, and the grin on dina’s face makes your smile widen. you close the book you had long forgotten about, and get up; deciding to pick out your outfit for tonight. you settle on the flare jeans and a black furry sweater that’s too small to even keep you warm. your hair is still a bit damp from your shower earlier, but you let down both of your braids anyways; allowing the semi-curly hair to fall down. after putting on some mascara and lipgloss, you aimlessly scroll through tiktok while you wait for dina to finish getting ready.

by the time the raven haired girl is finished, jesse is texting the group chat, letting you both know the kegs are full and ready. apparently ellie was supplying the weed, and one of jesse’s friends was bringing bottles of liquor along with some packs of beer. “you should text ellie and tell her you’re gonna come.” dina suggests, as you both make your way out of your dorm hall, stepping out into the horrid cold. “so… you and jesse…” you trail off, a tiny smirk etched onto your lips. you can see dina blushing under one of the lampposts, causing you to chuckle. “jeez, d, you really like this guy huh?” you question and her blush deepens; her cheeks turning crimson red.

“he’s sweet… i know we just met earlier this year, but i feel like i really know him. you know? like i know his heart.” dina explains, and you smile brightly. “wow, i never thought i’d hear you talking about someone in such a sappy way.” you poke fun at her, but your friend can hear the softness in your voice and see the fondness in your eyes. dina grins, “yeah, well, who knows, he might get lucky tonight.” she half jokes and you gasp, throwing your head back while releasing a howling laugh.

when you get to the frat house, there’s already hoard of people there. the music is loud, but not too loud, so for that you’re sort of grateful. jesse finds you both a minute after you two walk in; he has a large smile on his face and his varsity jacket hanging off his back. “hello ladies.” he says, his smile more directed to dina. “hey jesse, is ellie here yet?” you ask curiously, trying to sound nonchalant, but he can see right through you. he nods, “yup! she’s in the back rolling a few j’s. you can head back there and say hi if you want. she’s alone.” he clarifies, and you smile gratefully. “thanks! i’ll see you guys in a minute. save me a dance, party girl.” you tell dina, and she nods. “you better come find me to dance!” she warns, and you giggle as you begin to make your way to the back of the frat house.

the only bedroom downstairs is usually used for seven minutes in heaven, or for movie nights. when you push your way into the bedroom the room is full of smoke, and you spot ellie sitting on the bed. she’s wearing a buttoned up flannel shirt, and those old faded jeans that you love on her. she’s staring out of the closed window, seemingly deep in thought; her short brown hair barely reaches the nape of her neck, and you can’t help but stare for a minute as you lean against the doorframe. she takes another drag of the joint, inhaling the smoke and keeping it in her throat before releasing it. “hey there.” you pull her out of her thoughts, causing her to snap her head in your direction.

ellie’s eyes change as soon as they land on you. her face expression goes soft. “hey. what are you doing here?” she questions, her voice light but clearly confused. “dina convinced me to come.” you explain shortly as you walk in, inching closer to ellie. you don’t seem to notice the way those pale green eyes seem to roam up and down your body as you stand in front of her. she holds the joint out, offering you some. ellie knows you love to smoke, you’re not a drinker, but you’ve always been a smoker. growing up, you were the only one who was always down to get high with ellie. it was, shamefully her favorite thing. getting high alone or with anyone else wasn’t the same for her.

you gladly take it, placing the joint between your lips before fixing your sweater, and taking the lit joint out of your mouth. you hold the smoke while you hand it back to ellie, offering her a cute little smile that makes something in her chest clench. you cough a little after exhaling the smoke, and it makes her chuckle. “good?” she asks, and you nod, “what strain as that?” you wonder out loud, “cherry chem.” she answers vaguely, placing the joint between her own lips as she reaches into her backpack, retrieving a little wooden box. you watch inquisitively as she opens the box and reveals a bunch of freshly rolled joints.

“here.” she says as she pulls out five and hands them to you. you shake your head, “no, it’s okay—“ she cuts you off, “you don’t wanna get too drunk tonight, do you, princess?” she asks, the old nickname causing you to blush under her droopy, hooded eyes. you reluctantly accept them, knowing ellie is right. you always get too drunk when you don’t smoke in order to level yourself out. “thanks els.” you thank her with that god damn smile on your face, and ellie feels as if the sun is shining on her face. you make her feel so warm.

“sit down.” she says, handing you the nearly finished joint, as she pats the empty space right beside her. you scrunch your nose in disgust, “no way, i saw joan sanders come in here with tommy last month. i know what happens on this bed.” you says in a prissy tone that causes ellie to laugh. “such a priss.” she mutters as she pulls you by your hips and causes you to fall onto the bed right next to her. you gasp, pushing her arm roughly. “ellie!” you squeal in disgust, but you get a whiff of her cologne that causes your head to go fuzzy. your face is hot, and ellie is smirking at you in a way that causes the butterflies in your belly to repopulate.

“it’s almost finished.” you scowl, and ellie shrugs as she snatches the joint out of your hands, tossing it into the ashtray. “i’ll light another one. unless you got somewhere to be.” she raises a brow, and you shake your head, flashing her a puzzled look. “aren’t you supposed to be hanging out with tiffany tonight? you guys are always at every party together.” you point out, and you notice the way ellie tenses at the sound of her girlfriends name. her demeanor shifts as she reaches for another joint, and lights it.

“she’s with her friends tonight. you know ashley and miley?” she asks with clear disdain on her face. you nod, “i know of them. they’re on the cheer team right?” you respond with a question, and she merely nods. “yeah. she’s with them i think.” ellie mutters, and you go quiet for a minute. “dina told me you guys have been fighting lately...” you start, and ellie rolls her eyes. “… why didn’t you tell me anything?” you ask her, and she shrugs. “didn’t wanna bother you with my dumb ass relationship problems.” she mumbles, as she hands you the joint.

you throw her a look of surprise, “your problem are not dumb, ellie.” you say sternly, and she scoffs. “they are. she’s… she’s being stupid.” she murmurs, and you furrow your brows. you’ve never heard ellie speak negatively about tiffany before. if anything, whenever she’d bring the blonde up she’d have this dorky grin on her face. now she looks exhausted. “what happened?” you ask carefully, and ellie freezes. you’ve known each other for years and ellie tells you everything; yet she doesn’t want to tell you about the this. the more you think about it, the more you realize ellie’s never told you anything about her and tiffany fighting. not even once.

she seems to have put a wall up for the first time without you even noticing. have you really been pulling away that much, that you didn’t even notice something’s been going on with her? in your defense, you were only pulling away from her to protect your heart. you knew ellie could never want you the way you want her, and whenever you saw her with tiffany, it hurt.

she shakes her head refusing to tell you. “it’s nothing.”

your brows knit together, she’s never shut you out about anything. ellie’s even told you all of the embarrassing things about herself; she was an open book with no filter when it came to you… but right now it seemed like she didn’t want to tell you what the arguments between her and tiffany are about. the silence in the room is thick, and you can hear the muffled music coming from behind the door. you open your mouth to speak, but jesse rushes into the room, “hey ellie, dani wants to know if she can buy a few joints off you.” the dark haired boy states causing ellie to get up. “yeah, sure. come on, wanna get a drink?” ellie asks you. you nod, standing up and following the brunette and jesse out of the room.

there’s even more people here than there was when you first arrived, and as you check your phone, you realize you were with ellie for nearly thirty minutes. ellie reaches for your hand so she doesn’t lose you in the crowd, and you gladly take it. your stomach flips as soon as your skin meets hers, and she leads you over to the kitchen. jesse walks up to dani with you and ellie not far behind, and your eyes wander around the crowded area as ellie begins to make a deal with the basket ball player. ellie squeezes your hand when she’s done, and the smile she flashes you makes your knees weak.

“whatcha’ want to drink?” she asks you with that cute raspy voice that drives you crazy. “just a cranberry vodka, if you guys have any cranberry juice.” ellie’s sure you don’t mean to look up at her with those sexy lidded eyes, but you do and she finds her mouth going dry. “coming right up.” she winks at you, and nearly grimaces at how awkward she is. you giggle while she makes your drinks, the buzz from ellie’s weed barely now hitting you. you’re partially reminded of why you’ve been trying not to smoke; because whenever you’re high, ellie is all you can think about. it makes you sad knowing she’s probably thinking about making up with her girlfriend right now.

ellie hands you your drink first, before making her own. you take a sip, grimacing at the strong taste of alcohol, “ellie!” the girly voice nearly causes you to wince as tiffany bounces up to the brunette; wrapping her arms around the back of ellie’s neck. you don’t see the way ellie forces a smile because your eyes are now glued to the red drink in your cup. “hey babe.” ellie greets her girlfriend, and the term of endearment causes a pang of pain to linger in your chest. you take a swig of your drink, and ellie looks over at you apologetically. you flash her a small, reassuring smile yet she can see it isn’t your usual smile.

ellie wants to say something to you, but before she can, dani makes her way back to you both. “uh, hey y/n.” the basketball player greets you, and you gratefully find an excuse to pry your gaze off of ellie and tiffany. “hey dani. how did you do on mr. lyndon’s quiz yesterday?” you ask her, and ellie tries not frown as she notices the way the taller girls eyes wander over your body. “i did terrible! i can’t believe midterms are next week. i’m not ready.” the tall girl admits and amusement glints in your eyes as you look up at her. “i like your necklace, by the way.” she adds, complimenting the silver necklace dangling off your collar bone. you smile brightly, your fingers going to play with the necklace your mother gave you before you left to college. you and your sisters all have the same one.

“thanks. my mom got it for me when i turned eighteen. i like your jacket.” you pull on the ends of her varsity jacket, batting your eyes up at her, and tiffany frowns as you don’t notice that ellie’s hard gaze is fixated on you. tiffany definitely notices, and it causes her to scowl. “wanna go smoke?” dani asks, pulling a joint out of her pocket. you grin, but ellie intervenes. “i already smoked her out.” the brunette clarifies, locking eyes with the jock and flashing her a warning look that makes you frown. dani looks at you, ignoring ellie and smirking right at you. “wanna go for round two, princess?” she asks, and something in ellie’s stomach twists uncomfortably at the sound of dani calling you “princess”.

“sure. i’m always down to smoke.” you say, and you flash ellie a look that she doesn’t recognize before you wrap yourself around the jocks arm. ellie keeps her eyes on you as you disappear out of the kitchen with dani, “looks like dani is getting lucky tonight.” tiffany declares, pulling ellie out of her thoughts. if ellie weren’t so preoccupied with thinking about you and dani, she would’ve found that comment strange. but ellie is high and she isn’t thinking about anything other than you giving those eyes to dani walsh.

ellie’s face twists at the mere thought of you hooking up with the raven haired girl tonight. ellie can’t come up with a single reason why she feels so upset about it; you’re single after all, and dani is undoubtedly every girls type. she shakes her head, “no. y/n’s not that kind of girl.” ellie says more to herself than to her girlfriend. tiffany scoffs, “did you not see what i saw? your friend is totally into her.” tiffany says as she takes ellie’s cup and takes a swig. she makes a face, “ugh. cranberry? seriously, ellie? you know i hate cranberry.” she mutters in disgusts, and ellie flashes her a sheepish smile.

“sorry, it was y/n’s drink choice.” the brunette replies, and tiffany rolls her eyes. “what?” ellie asks, detecting the clear annoyance that came from her saying your name. “nothing.” tiffany mutters and ellie rolls her eyes, a wave of frustration washing over her. “seriously, what’s wrong? you look pissed.” ellie points out, and the shorter girl flashes her a sardonic expression. “oh, now you noticed? you’ve been so preoccupied with y/n tonight, you haven’t even talked to me!” she snaps, and ellie’s eyes widen. “what!? you’re the one who ditched me as soon as we got here to hang out with your friends! what do you want me to do? follow you around like a puppy all night?” ellie begins to raise her voice, losing her cool.

“no i don’t want that! i want you to care about me more than you care about y/n!” she shouts, and ellie shakes her head in bewilderment. “what the fuck is your problem with her?! y/n’s my best friend, and i love her! i love you too, but fuck, tiffany!” ellie is clearly losing all the cool inside of her body, if she was angry before she’s even angrier now. “but what?” the blonde challenges, crossing her arms and flashing ellie a stern look. ellie goes quiet, “say it.” tiffany adds demandingly, and ellie scoffs, “say what?” she mumbles, playing dumb. “what you’ve always known but never had the balls to admit. you love me, but you’ll never love me as much as you love her.” tiffany snaps, and ellie can only stare at her with inscrutable features etched onto her face.

the silence is telling, and it seems to give tiffany the only answer she needs. “i’m done coming second in this relationship, ellie. you have to tell me right now… do you love me more or her?” tiffany’s voice is harsh and up for no debates. ellie lets out a breathless chuckle, more so because she’s surprised at the absurd question. “are you serious?” she questions, her voice laced with pure disbelief. tiffany is staring at her as if ellie is the crazy one, and it just now hits ellie that you’ve been alone with dani for over fifteen minutes.

“i don’t have time for your shit tonight, dani. y/n’s cross faded and i’m not gonna let her go home with some sleaze from the basketball team, all because you’re jealous.” she hisses, as she turns around to walk away, but tiffany stops her by reaching out and grabbing her arm. ellie spins and around to face her girlfriend; her patience wearing thin. “i’m jealous!? ellie, look at you! you’re going crazy because y/n might hook up with someone else!” she exasperatedly snaps, and the words seem to knock some sense into ellie. she glances down at her shoes, a bit ashamed; “look me in the eye and tell me right now that you’re not in love with her.” the shorter girl demands. ellie’s eyes lock with tiffany’s piercing blue eyes, and all she can think about is you.

you and your smile. you and your laugh. the way you say her name, and how you remember everything she says. the tiny scar on your back nobody else knows about. the way your eyes light up when you’re excited…

ellie wants to say no. she wants to be a good girlfriend and assure tiffany that she’s in love with her and only her… but as she thinks about your soft eyes being directed at some jock looking to get “lucky”, ellie knows she can’t say it. tiffany lets out a scoff, shaking her head before loosening her grip on ellie’s wrist. “you can’t even say it! you can’t even look at me and lie about it!” tiffany pushes her finger into ellie’s chest, and ellie feels an overwhelming sense of guilt as she begins to calm down. her thoughts seem to rationalize but she knows she’s already fucked up. “tiff…” she trails off, and the cheerleader shakes her head, tears pooling in her baby blue eyes.

“just go get her before she leaves with dani.” tiffany sounds defeated, and a part of ellie is telling her to stay and fix things with tiffany, but there’s a loud voice in her head telling her to go and make sure you haven’t left with that other girl. ellie doesn’t say anything else as she walks out of the kitchen, leaving dani alone. she’s certain whatever was left of the relationship is now over, but she can’t seem to care. you’re the only thing on her mind as her gaze flitters all over the room in search for you. her eyes zero in on dina who is dancing with someone ellie barely knows; the brunette doesn’t think twice before interrupting.

“have you seen y/n? she’s with dani and she’s pretty faded. i wanna make sure she’s okay.” ellie rushes the words out, sounding like a nervous wreck. dina stops dancing for a moment, raising a brow, “uh, i just talked to y/n like four minutes ago, she seemed fine. she said her and dani were gonna smoke and maybe walk back to her dorm.” dina winks insinuatingly, and ellie’s heart falls into the pit of her stomach.

“shit… did they leave through the front or back?” ellie sounds apprehensive, and it causes a wave of confusion to wash over the raven haired girl. “the front i think… wait why does it matter?” dina questions, and ellie shakes her head. “because all dani wants to do is get in y/n’s pants.” ellie hisses, and dina raises her brows in slight shock at the sudden outburst. she watches ellie rush off, and before she can think about chasing after her best friend, jesse swoops in and pushes past the guy dina had been dancing with. “mind if i cut in?” jesse asks hopefully, and dina nods happily, quickly forgetting about you and ellie.

ellie goes out the front door of the frat house, and her eyes flicker around in search for you. when her eyes land on you, her stomach knots up as she sees you’re now wearing dani’s jacket and saying something that ellie can’t make out. her eyes widen and her mind races, as you two begin walking in the direction of the dorm rooms. ellie’s heart nearly stops beating, and it’s like her body has a mind of its own as she begins to rush over in your direction. “y/n wait!” she calls out and you stop in your tracks, spinning around at the sound of your best friends voice.

“ellie?” you sound confused; whenever her and tiffany get together during a party like this, you almost never see her till the next day. “is everything okay?” you ask as she stalks up to you. she has this unrecognizable look etched onto her face, “i just… i needed to talk to you—“ ellie cuts herself off when she sees the smile that was on your face drop. “is it tiffany? did you guys fight again?” you ask, clearly concerned. dani looks at you, then ellie, “i can give you two a minute of you want.” she tells you, and you offer her a grateful smile. “i’ll be right there.” you promise, and ellie hates how soft your gaze is when it’s directed at the jock.

dani offers you an annoyingly charming smile before walking a few feet away from you and ellie. “what’s wrong? what happened with tiffany?” you you ask her, and ellie shakes her head. “since when is dani your type?” she completely ignores your question, going straight for what’s been bugging her all night. you look taken back by the disdain in her voice, causing you to let out a breathless chuckle. “how is she not my type? she’s cute, and nice…” you trail off, and ellie blows a raspberry with her mouth. “so that’s all it takes for you to hookup with someone?” she practically interrogates you, causing you to frown.

“excuse me?” you respond, the offense in your tone clear as day. “what’s your problem? just because we’re hitting it off and i’m going to let her walk me back to my dorm, doesn’t mean i’m going to let her screw me, ellie!” you hiss, trying to keep your voice down in order for dani not to hear. the brunette scoffs, “yeah, sure, did you see the way you were looking at her? plus you’re wearing her fucking jacket, and she’s been smoking you out… she thinks she’s getting lucky tonight.” ellie sounds angrier than you’ve ever heard, and you can’t for the life of you figure out why. “it doesn’t matter what she thinks, ellie. she’s not getting lucky tonight unless i say so!” you snap.

“besides, why do you even care so much about what i do with dani!? shouldn’t you be up tiffany’s ass like you always are?!” you know you sound much harsher than you ever do, which is why ellie suddenly has this kicked dog-like expression on her face. “i-i don’t care! i just don’t think it’s cool how she started preying on you and trying to get you all high. she’s a sleaze!” ellie argues, and you roll your eyes. “yeah, well, that’s up for me to decide. i’ll see you tomorrow, ellie. when we’re both sober.” your voice is lower than before, and you flash her one last look before turning around and making your way over to dani.

ellie pathetically watches as you and dani begin to leave together, and her heart plummets right into her stomach. tiffany’s words from earlier are ringing in her head; “you love me, but you’ll never love me as much as you love her.” ellie stupidly realizes tiffany was right. she loves you more than she’s ever loved anyone… yet as she watches dani entwine her hand with yours before you both disappear in the direction of the dormitory, she realizes you aren’t hers to love. and you certainly aren’t hers to lose.

a/n(PLEASE READ): here’s a one-shot i wrote earlier this month, i just finished the next part of “i’m right over here, why can’t you see me”. it should be posted by christmas, and yes i will be tagging everyone who commented on it 🖤 - vamp

[genshin-obsessed]

Confessions | Honkai Star Rail

So i've been super into hsr recently and I thought I'd get back to doing longer hcs because those are always fun! This time I left out Welt and Sampo and I'm not sure how I feel about it lol ✧ Includes: Dan Heng, Gepard, Jing Yuan, Luocha, Blade ✧ Extra: Something a little weird has happened to my Blade lol, he's just a confused man who really likes the reader. It may be ooc- i have no clue

Dan Heng

For Dan Heng, he doesn’t know how long he’s liked you. He just realized it one day when you said something- a compliment towards him- and he just couldn’t stop thinking about it.

Dan Heng’s not the most outward person, so wanting to confess wasn’t something easy for him. He actually needed to prepare, give himself a pep talk and all. His method is invite you to his room and then just tell you- no beating around the bush.

You’re shocked to say the least- I mean it’s DAN HENG. He liked you?! HE CONFESSED?! You sat there for a good minute just staring at him. He looked calm but kinda started panicking on the inside.

“I-I like you too!” You say before he can speak. You were so loud, he jumped a little. Safe to say, he’s extremely happy you accepted because then it would’ve been awkward afterwards.

“Oh good… good.”

Gepard Landau

Everyone knows Gepard likes you before himself. He can say it’s just been a few months but others know it’s been like a year. It’s just the way he acts and stuff.

Gepard has a VERY hard time confessing. He’ll keep trying to do it, but then backs out at the last minute. He’ll keep saying he wants to talk to you about something important then just doesn’t tell you. Finally, one day… it slips out. You two are alone and he barely realizes it until he sees your face.

You’re happy but also shocked. The guy you’ve liked for like ever finally likes you back! Do you go through the statue phase of freezing up and staring? Yes. Did he start panicking because of it? Yes. Your reaction right after was to throw yourself at him and give him a tight hug.

He doesn’t say anything right then and just hugs you back. You not running away, horrified, probably meant you felt the same. That made him happy- so happy he didn’t even know what to do.

“Thank you… for not running away- oh and liking me back.”

Jing Yuan

His feelings had been around for a few months now, he knew pretty much instantly when he was attracted to you. It didn’t take him long to figure out he was in love with you either. It was obvious, his heart pounded when you were around, he couldn’t stop thinking about you, and he was always worried you’d find someone else.

Jing Yuan confesses fancy style. He’ll invite you out to like dinner or something or maybe just to take a late night walk with him. As you’re walking, he’ll coyly bring up the topic of dating and whatnot. You two chat for a bit, then he just admits it. He makes sure to add the “it’s alright if you don’t feel the same way, I won’t be upset.”

Of course, you do feel the same way! Your eyes widen and you gasp as the reality sets in. The General of the Cloud Knights liked YOU! It took a moment to just process his words, and Jing Yuan stood there patiently, giving you time to think. If you were going to say no, that’s fine, he just needed a clear answer. You found it hard to speak but forced the words out, “I-I feel the same.”

Jing Yuan’s over the moon with this newfound knowledge. He’s so happy, he could shout it out from over the rooftops. Honestly! All he can do is give you a tight hug, not wanting to do anything else if you weren’t ready for it- say a kiss.

“I’m glad. We should go on a date then- a proper one.”

Luocha

Luocha is very good at keeping his feelings to himself. At first, he thought it was just a little crush and it would pass. But it didn’t. It just… kept developing. He tried to manage it, feeling that maybe a relationship right now wasn’t the best option for him. But when his heart would start pounding every time you smiled at him, or his mind went back to you and what you might’ve been doing when you two were apart told me he… maybe didn’t wanna wait.

Luocha’s confession wasn’t exactly grand. I mean, what was there to be super grand about? Especially if you were going to reject him. So he just took you out on a little walk and slyly brought up the topic of relationships. Once you mentioned you didn’t mind being in one, he just said, “will you be in one with me?”

You kinda froze. Deer in headlights situation. You needed a moment to process what he’d just said. He… wanted to date you? WELL GOOD! YOU WANTED TO DATE HIM! You happily nodded, a big giant smile spreading on your face.

There was this emotion he felt when you said you liked him too. Pure, unadulterated happiness. He felt so good about himself, about life, about everything. That emotion spoke volumes and all he could do was hug you. Tightly. 

"I'm glad... because I was really, really nervous you'd say no."

Blade

Ok… hear me out. Blade knows he likes you… when he doesn’t hate you. When you ask him for a favor and he says yes. When you hug him and he doesn’t strangle you- honestly, it wasn’t hard for him to know. Kafka teases him and he just ignores her.

Blade… doesn’t know how to confess. He’s not crazy about relationships or… people. So his entire confession was just confusing. You followed absolutely nothing except: “I like you.” You thought he was just admitting he didn’t hate you. That was good news! But you didn’t realize how good it was. “That’s great! I like you too!” You replied to which he crossed his arms, nodded, and said… “we’re dating now.”

Mhm. Yeah. That’s how smooth he is :’) you- you poor soul- didn’t know what he meant at first. So you were beyond shocked when he said what he did. Blade- BLADE- liked you- Y O U- romantically? You liked him too but you never ever expected this. Not in a million years.

You could only manage a dazed nod for a few seconds before a giant smile spread on your face and you practically threw yourself at him. Blade’s usual reaction would be to shove the person away but this was his special person. So… he hugged back.

“That was… rude, I think? Will you go on a date with me?”

[therantingsage]

Because I promised this, and I really wanted to do it anyway, here's a really really long-winded rambling dissertation on:

Why N and Uzi secretly dating since before episode 5 is genuinely super plausible and also stupidly hilarious /pos

Under the cut cuz it got obscenely long oops-

Idk where to start, so I'll just cover my bases: why people think they've been in a relationship already in the first place.

We all saw this scene:

And legit it can only be implying one of two things. Either A: this is his confession of feelings for her. Or B: this is him admitting that they've been dating for a while at this point. With the hearts it's pretty clear that this statement is meant to be romantically interpreted, and Nori's aghast reaction confirms that that's how it's being interpreted.

Obviously no matter the interpretation, N only writes that because he can't think of anything else to snap Uzi out of it and thereby stop this confrontation from ending poorly. And it works obviously so good on him for the quick thinking.

Two things that make me lean towards the 'we're dating' interpretation over 'confession' interpretation, though: firstly, he's not writing this to tell Uzi something, he specifically calls out to Nori before writing it. "Hey btw I'm dating your daughter" makes more sense than "Hey btw I like your daughter romantically" because if it was the latter, Nori has far less reason to be mad at Uzi about it rather than N. It's not like Uzi can control how N feels. But if they're dating, that means Uzi is partially to blame for that and Nori can get upset at HER.

Secondly, the awkward wording. Like it's really vague and without the hearts you'd have no reason to assume anything but platonic meaning. But these are words we, and him, have heard before:

...from Uzi, in response to a question about who she is and, by proxy, the nature of their relationship. She says it defensively, follows it up by telling N to shut up. N repeating her wording which, again, is a description of the nature of their relationship....but this time implying something romantic with it, it suggests the idea that it had romantic implications the first time.

I don't think it's far-fetched to say Uzi at least has feelings for N at this point in the story. I don't think anyone's arguing that that's not true. But the idea that 'hang out' means the exact same thing both times is what I'm arguing here. They're dating, but this version of N is a stranger to her. A cute stranger, as she says, but a stranger nonetheless who she isn't comfortable admitting to that she's dating him in the future to his face.

Backing up a bit, Uzi's reaction to Nori's reaction:

This is a clear and obvious parallel to the previous episode, when 'Tessa' says "Don't date my robot, please."

In both instances, someone gets on her case about the idea of them dating, and in both cases she doesn't deny it but instead defends both his and her own agency in the matter. No one is allowed to tell them what to do and Uzi refuses to let anyone try.

When Nori says it, though, she does seem to try and deny it for a moment. "I'm not-" She cuts herself off so we can't say for certain what she was going to say (if anything. it's entirely possible she started that sentence with no plan how to finish it, I do that a lot personally). But that's also because, like, she's Uzi. If this was meant to be a secret relationship, it would probably be her who made that decision. And like with butler N, she has no reason to disclose that kind of information to a stranger. She'd probably try and deny it whether its true or not.

As for when it would've started, after camp is the only big timeskip where we don't have much clue went on during. Cabin Fever is a big episode for them, and the three episodes that come after it are all back-to-back-to-back. The only time it makes sense to have started is sometime between eps 4 and 5.

And guys. Guys.

This, more than anything to me, paired with the idea that they've been dating for a while by the time the most recent couple episodes happen.....doesn't this seem so, so romantic? You could easily call this a love confession! So easily! It sounds like one much more than 'we just kinda are hanging out a lot idk' at least.

Like, rephrase that even a little: "Being with you makes scary things fun. Being with you makes me feel brave. It makes me feel safe. So I want to keep being with you."

And Uzi agrees with that sentiment. He promises to stick with her. And she laughs and smiles with him as he makes the scary thing she's been dealing with into something fun, something they can laugh about. The together line gets repeated in the most recent episode, directly calling back to this scene as well.

Like, just...AGH. In Cabin Fever he says it once as they're falling and a second time once they're grounded. The second time its a question, and one she eagerly answers with physical affection, which is super rare for her. In Mass Destruction its a statement, because he already knows her answer. Its a repeated promise. A vow.

Backing up again. Let's assess some interactions under this context. Assuming they're dating in secret. Because it paints so many things in a different light and basically nothing contradicts it which is fricken wild. This:

Isn't a sheepish Uzi trying to hold her crush's hand in a moment of fear. This is an Uzi who wants to keep their relationship a secret but is so in need of comfort right now she's willing to risk exposing them to get it.

This:

Her being so relieved because she almost watched him die but he's alive he's ok and she doesn't care who sees it because she needs to hug her boyfriend rIGHT NOW GUYS I DON'T CARE I'M HUGGING MY BOYFRIEND-

This whole scene. Uzi interacts with him so gently here. She's not gentle with anybody else at all. She sees him stressed and uses his own "you good?" on him and it's just so dang tender when you think about it. Because no one else can hear them talking to each other. It's just these two sending face texts and everyone else's focus is on the Sentinal so they can afford to be as couple-y in this conversation as they want.

And after:

Blushing because they like each other so so dang much.......sweating bullets because the other two can see them do this. Suddenly without either of them really thinking about it they're being romantic around other people and wow! That's nerve-wracking! Peak young love early-in-the-relationship behavior they ain't slick.

His tone of voice in this scene is gentler I think than we've ever heard from him before (Michael Kovach you are so damn good at your job). His loss-filled fury is cooled in an instant when he realizes how close he came to hurting his girlfriend. It's heartbreakingly gentle before 'Tessa' cuts him off.

And when she cuts Uzi off:

He looks like genuinely pissed at her. "Did you really just interrupt my gf while she was talking?? She's scared and you're disrespecting her tf is wrong with u??"

And like- the fact he was genuinely willing to off Tessa for her. Like he realizes there's a possibility she tried to get his gf killed for no reason and upon her not even trying to deny it he just kills her instantly. Because it's no longer a question of the universe or Uzi. It's a question of Tessa or Uzi, and its a choice his heart has already made before this point.

But here's like. The thing about all this that gets me. This is meant to be a secret relationship, right? Like nobody but them is supposed to know about this. And the fact that we the audience didn't have any reason to assume them to be an established relationship without heavy headcanoning means they did a decent job at that, right?

Guys. Guys.

N is terrible at keeping secrets. Like. Horrendously bad at keeping things on the down-low. Every single time in the series he's supposed to not spill info he like. Fails. It's wild. And because the relationship happens after "Inclusive reflexes!" that means that Uzi damn well knows this and still trusts him to try.

But based on V's reaction to the handholding in Dead End:

I'm honestly willing to bet she knew. She doesn't sound surprised, just annoyed that she has to see it. Which means N probably like, heard her badmouthing Uzi or something and got like way too defensive about it and she clocked him instantly. Because he's bad at keeping secrets. And she doesn't bother mentioning it during any of these episodes out loud because she doesn't care what these idiots do in their free time.

Can you imagine how many hundred close calls they must've had? How many times Uzi must've had to aggressively shush him or cover his mouth because he was going to say something slightly too sappy in public? The only reason we don't get to see the time period between eps 4 and 5 is because it would've been painfully obvious that these two dating is the worst kept secret in the entire bunker. I'm going insane.

Uzi fell in love with a proud himbo and they both know it. It's genuinely a miracle they didn't clue the audience in sooner.

[reidsdaisies]

hey bb can i req a cute first date with spencer at a coffee shop or bakery or whatever but he’s jus super fucking nervous and shows up 30 mins early and bouncing his leg and stutter and almost piss himself (not really but you get the gist)

𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐁𝐨𝐮𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐭𝐬

༉‧´ˎ˗ pairing; nervous!spencer x kind of sunshine fem!reader

༉‧´ˎ˗ warnings; first date jitters, mentions of food, i think that’s it.

༉‧´ˎ˗ wc; 0.7k

༉‧´ˎ˗ a/n; congrats on being my first req! (as if i didn’t quite literally beg u) i wrote this and then realized you probably meant you wanted to see him actually be nervous during the date but i worked too hard to let this go to waste. hope u can forgive me for that bae 😥

cm masterlist ; main masterlist ; request guidelines ; inbox

If you were to ask Spencer Reid to provide you with a detailed summarization of the whole Star Trek series, his eyes would light up and he’d get lost in his long rambles about scientific fact this and scientific fact that.

But if you were to ask him proper first date etiquette, he'd freeze up and look around awkwardly for a way to escape the conversation.

Or, in short, he knows nothing about first dates. He’s never been on a date. With anyone. Ever.

That's why he's currently pacing down a short length of the sidewalk, hands stuffed in his pockets as he waits for the sign giving him the go ahead to cross the street.

He would never be in this predicament if you, the peppy girl with a permanent smile seemingly plastered to her face, hadn't been bold enough to strike up a random conversation and ask his awkward, nerdy self out on a date to a new bakery that you informed him just opened up.

"If you're free Sunday, I'd love for you to come try their beignets with me! I've heard they're to die for."

The way you had initially proposed the offer made it seem so casual, until once he agreed, you followed it up with another, more clearly labeled exclamation.

“Sounds like we’ve got a date!"

Truth be told, he’d never particularly liked beignets all that much, but when the offer was served to him so graciously, he couldn't deny. No one can blame him. Who would have denied that beautiful, bright, contagious smile? Definitely not Spencer.

Once his hand is pulling open the bakery's door, he knows there's no going back. Not that he's a quitter, but he is unbelievably—or maybe pretty believably, we are still talking about Spencer here—nervous.

With a quick glance at his watch, he realizes just how much he overestimated the amount of time it'd take him to walk here. He's not just on time, he's a whole 26 minutes early.

Not near early enough to beat his record, but still very early compared to the advice Garcia had given him about showing up “fashionably late”, as she put it.

This only adds to his stress. Being alone, in a part of the city he's never been before, waiting for a girl who might not even be on her way yet. Yeah, he's cracking.

Spencer’s fingers tighten around the bouquet in his hands, flowers all picked out for the same reason—they reminded him exactly of the perfume you had on during your first meeting.

In attempt to calm himself down and get some fresh air, he slowly backs out of the bakery, the bell chiming, gaining a confused look from one of the workers.

Before he even has a sliver of a second to be embarrassed, his phone buzzes, a text asking if he’s on his way yet appearing on screen.

Taking a quick look around, his eyes landing on you standing in front of the bakery with your back to the window, dressed in a casual floral dress with a long coat over top, your hair blowing around you in the breeze as you look down at your phone.

He’d never thought he’d be so grateful for another person being just as overly punctual as him, you saving him from a half hour of sitting alone in silence.

“I-,” Spencer clears his throat. “I’m here!” He walks over to you hesitantly.

The first thing you notice when you look up from your phone is his fists clenched right around the base of a colorful bouquet, stems crushed from his deadly grip.

“Hey, Spencer!” You greet the man, wrapping him up in a tight hug. When you pull away, he’s looking down at you, eyes sparkling but jaw still slightly trembling.

“These flowers, they’re for you.” His voice is slightly timid, his eyes set on the pavement as he holds the bouquet out expectantly.

Your expression softens when he struggles to get his words out, but you treat him no different, accepting the flowers gratefully.

“A whole bouquet? You’re the sweetest, Spence!” Another bright smile takes over your face, throwing your arms over his shoulders, bringing him in for yet another hug.

He’s stiff for a moment before he realizes you’re not going anywhere, and you’re giving no clear signs as to you not wanting him there, so with a slight confidence boost, he lets his arm slowly slither down to your waist, holding you flush against him.

“Let’s uhm, let’s get those beignets.”

This time when you pull away, instead of letting the anxiety get to him, he’s smiling along with you, ready to follow your lead into the bakery.

[muwapsturniolo]

✯Somebody Else✯

Black!reader

Inspired by this reel i saw.

Summary: Chris lays in bed with another while thinking of his ex-lover

warnings: hella angst, brief mentions of sex, swearing, Chris being upset. weed.

✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯

Chris groans as he spills his seed into the condom, pulling out of the girl beneath him and collapsing next to her. Both of them breathing harshly from the intense sexual encounter.

After a few minutes, the girl sits up and tries to leave the bed, but Chris stops her, "Stay for a bit, we can roll up and chill."

She stares in confusion, not use to guys asking her to stay after sex. They are usually the first to throw her clothes in her lap and tell her to hurry up and leave.

It's a nice change of pace.

She nods and grabs her shirt, slipping it on along with her underwear. She settles back into the bed, sitting crisscross on the black sheets. Chris sits up, reaching into his nightstand to grab the items needed to roll a blunt.

As he starts grinding the weed, the girl speaks.

"Who's Dessi?"

Chris stops what he's doing, his heart clenching at the name.

"What?"

"Who's Des-No I heard you. Why are you bringing her up? How do you know her?" His tone holds a bit of malice, clearly frustrated with the name.

"You literally called me her name."

He pushes the paraphernalia to the side and rubs his hands over his face in exhaustion. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that. that was probably awkward to hear." He apologizes.

He didn't even know he did it and it has him thinking, has he done this to other women who have laid in his bed? The thought alone makes him want to throw up.

"Wanna talk about her?" The girl offers. Chris slowly turns to her, "Huh?" She rolls her eyes and grabs the grinder from his lap.

"Talk about it. it's clear you still have love for her. Maybe if you talk about her you won't call another girl by her name." She jokes softly.

He goes back and forth with idea. He could talk about her and risk crying like a little bitch in front of his one-night stand, or he could keep his emotions bottled up like he always does.

"Roll up first, I'll play some music."

The girl nods and proceeds to roll two blunts, figuring they will be here for a while. As she lights the first blunt, the sound of Lil Uzi's The Way Live Goes fills the blue-illuminated room. Chris settles back down, a pair of grey sweatpants adorning his hips.

They sit in silence until Chris finally speaks.

"She was someone I loved...I loved her and she screwed me up big time." The girl hands him the blunt, figuring he needs the drug to continue. He takes a hit, ghosting it before blowing it right back out.

"We met a couple months ago and I fell hard. She was beautiful, a little shorter than me, with beautiful brown skin. She always wore wigs but I loved when she wore her natural hair, even though she said it was too much to keep up with."

The girl mumbles something along the lines of, "She ain't lying."

Chris continues, staring straight ahead, "I met her at a party and we left to get food. She laughed at all my jokes, was super sarcastic and just had an amazing vibe. After that night I felt like I met...My person."

He hands her back the blunt, now fiddling with his phone. "I started taking her out on dates, which was new for me because I'm not good in relationships, but I wanted to be for her. I did everything I thought she would like. I got her the flowers she loved, I would buy the little trinkets that reminded me of her, for fuck sake I even wrote love letters."

"Love letters? That's really cute." She mumbles, a small smile on her face as she relights the blunt. "I thought so but she didn't. This went on for two months... She would tell me all the time that she loved what we had but she didn't want to put a label on it yet." He chuckles as her voice fills his ears.

"let's not label things yet, you're having fun, right? That's all that matters."

He shakes his head, plucking the blunt from the girl's fingers. "My brothers and a few friends would ask me what we were and I couldn't give them an answer. When I explained to my older brother Justin, he gave me this look of sadness, like he knew what she was doing all along. He told me, but I didn't listen. I loved her." The girl nods, choosing to listen instead of speaking.

"Two months ago I started getting fed up with it. I wanted to make her mine. I'm bad at talking about my feelings verbally so I wrote her another love letter. I poured my heart out, telling her how I felt from the first moment I laid eyes on her, to the point where I realized I was in love with her."

She watches as his eyes get glossy. Of course he's high at this point, but this is a different type of glossy, a glossy only made by the salty tears your body produces.

"And you know what she did?" He laughs softly, the vocal expression filled with sadness.

"She called me and told me to stop. She told me she wasn't in love with me, that she wasn't in the right mental state to be in a relationship." He wipes the tears streaming down his face, cursing internally for getting so worked up.

"I was hurt, but who was I to be mad because she wasn't in the right mental state? So I told her I got it, and that she can hit me up whenever she felt better, or comfortable being around me again."

The humming of the 1975 begins to fill the room, the girl identifying the song as "somebody else."

She watches as his breathing gets harsher, a clear indication that he's going to break down any moment now.

"She hit me up a week later...I didn't even get a 'Hey how are you' text. instead, I got a fucking video of her getting her back blown out by some douche bag and her moaning how she loves him."

I don't want your body But I hate to think about you with somebody else

He breaks down, his sobs bouncing off the wall as he puts his head in his hands. The girl quickly ashes out the blunt and wraps her arms around him, holding him close. His whole body shakes in dejection, the tears streaming endlessly.

"A-an hour later she t-texted me and t-told me to f-forget about h-her because sh-es in a relationship."

Our love has gone cold You're intertwining your soul with somebody else

The girl rubs his back in a caring manner. She's only known Chris for about three hours now, and she already hated seeing him like this. She can tell this Dessi girl has truly fucked with his mental, screwing up any interpretation he has of love.

"Shh, it's ok. Everything is ok."

"I-I just don't understand! I did everything right and sh-she just threw me to the side like g-garbage! H-how can you tell me y-you aren't ready for a r-relationship then g-get in one?!"

Her heart aches for the boy. She may not know him that well, but if she ever met Dessi on the street she would dogwalk her for him.

She continues to comfort Chris, rubbing his back and mumbling praises in attempt to calm him down.

After 30 minutes, he stops sobbing and switches to sniffling. "Sorry for that... Must have been a huge turn-off to see a guy crying like that." He sits up and wipes his eyes, reaching for the other blunt. She stops him, slowly pushing his hand down,

"Wasn't a turn-off, if anything I found it attractive...I like guys who can be vulnerable."

And c'mon baby (I know) This ain't the last time that I'll see your face

The two stare at each other, the once blue LEDS now a soft pink, illuminating their faces and bodies in the warm lighting.

Maybe it's the weed, but the longer he stares at her, the more she begins to look like Dessi.

I'm reminded that I should be gettin' over it

He shakes his head. She doesn't look like Dessi, she looks like her own person.

I don't want your body, I don't want your body

Her own beautiful person.

He crashes his lips against hers, pushing her back against the soft pillows.

"I'm done talking about her, I want to focus on you Y/N"

✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯

I LOVE THIS SM!!! SM ANGST! DO YALL LIKE HOW Y/N WASNT SAID UNTIL THE END?! IDK WHY BUT THAT WAS MY FAVORITE PART!!! ALSO IT'S FUCK THAT BITCH DESSI!!!

TAGLIST🍑

@bernardsgf @bernardsleftbootycheek @blahbel668 @mattfrfr @gdsvhtwa @sturniolo-aali @lily-loves-struniolos @kynda-avery @causeidontlikeagoldrush

@st7rnioioss @carolinalikesthings @mattslolita @suyqa @xxloveralways14 @pepsiimaxx @judespoision

@ivonchetooo1239 @imaslut4kehlani @that-general-simp @m4stermindd @itzdarling @gigisworldsstuff @adoreindie @braindead4l @pettydollie @chrissgirlsstuff @alexis007 @ratatioulle @yamamasjumpercables @luv4kozume @sturnioloslurps @kqyslyho3 @mattslolita

[ghcstao3]

what about werewolf!ghost x vampire!soap 👀

hope you don’t mind me using the occasion to revive the rileys for an awkward family dinner

-

Being brought home to meet Ghost’s family is probably one of the more interesting moments of Soap’s (unbearably long) life.

And not only because he’s never properly dated someone as long as he has Ghost before—it’s also because said family isn’t human, and is more than aware of the fact that he drinks blood to keep himself alive.

So. Interesting is where he stands.

Soap is lured in with a false sense of security from two things—the first being Ghost’s insistence that his mother, brother, and sister-in-law are all nicer than him. The second being the warm smile Mrs. Riley offers him at the front door, entirely friendly and sincere, not like the brandishing of sharp canines that Ghost has flashed Soap with once or twice.

She’s pleasant to talk with, already siding with him when it comes to her son’s tendencies, and she even goes so far as to pour him a glass of pig’s blood she’d purchased just for the occasion. And being that it’s so nice, Soap doesn’t have the heart to tell her that he can only tolerate the stuff at best, especially now that he only ever takes from a specific source these days.

It’s through this lovely conversation with Ghost’s mum and the general sense of domesticity that has Soap believing that he shouldn’t encounter any problems when Beth and Tommy arrive.

But how wrong he was.

Beth at least tries to be polite, though Soap doesn’t miss the distasteful scrunch of her nose once she obviously catches scent of what Ghost so lovingly calls the wrongness of vampirism. Tommy, on the other hand, doesn’t so much as bother trying to hide his disdain.

(Thank God Soap finds out later that it’s mostly just the whole protective older brother act, but still. It hurts Soap’s feelings, just a bit.)

Dinner is absolutely stifling when all but Soap are eating what Ghost’s mum has made, all chatter dying off much too quickly in what little bouts Ghost, of all people, tries to initiate. Soap traces his finger around the rim of his barely-touched glass all while he tries to ignore Tommy’s pointed looks like Soap had done something to personally offend him.

Maybe he had.

“You’re sure about this, Simon?” Tommy eventually, finally asks after nothing but pressing silence. Though the question is asked to Soap’s left, he still feels golden eyes near identical to Ghost’s bearing down on him.

Ghost drops his fork onto his plate, his frustration palpable, emanating in waves. “Do you have to be such a prick, Tom?”

“Boys,” Mrs. Riley scolds from her end of the table. “We have a guest.”

“Yeah, and that guest’s a vampire, Mum,” Tommy spits, throwing out his hand in gesture to Soap. “He eats people.”

“Tom,” Beth hisses.

“Common misconception,” Soap mumbles. He feels all attention shift to him, as if they all remembered he was present—right, super-hearing. He clears his throat, raising his voice, “Only the… bad ones do that.”

“Besides,” Ghost is adding, and Soap is a little fearful of where he plans to take this, “he only feeds off me.”

A tense silence blankets the table. Soap wants to sink into the floor.

“…What?”

“It was my idea,” Ghost attempts to amend, but it’s already much too late. This is already a disaster, beyond disaster, and maybe Soap should’ve stuck to his guns about not meeting a family of werewolves as a vampire.

“Doesn’t matter, Simon!” Tommy exclaims his disbelief.

Ghost rolls his eyes. Soap had not at all imagined this to be where the night would lead. It’s what he desperately wished wouldn’t happen. Because he loves Ghost, and Ghost loves his family—so Soap had felt he needed to be in their good graces.

There goes that idea.

“I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t trust him, Tommy,” Ghost says slowly, challenging. “Is how I feel about him not good enough?”

This finally seems to stun Tommy into some form of submission. Soap doesn't miss Beth reaching out to flick Tommy's ear.

"S'pose it is," Tommy grumbles.

"Good." Ghost sits back in his chair, and resumes eating with a smug self-satisfaction poised in his broad shoulders.

There's a kick under the table delivered to Tommy, though Soap can't tell by who. He only knows its recipient by the muttered sorry, John, that follows.

Soap supposes he can be content with that for now. He gives Tommy a close-lipped smile, fearing that any show of fangs might provoke him.

All things considered, things could be worse. Even his military training wouldn't give him a considerable upper-hand against a natural-born werewolf.

He'll have to talk to Ghost about it later. Maybe when the werewolf is shifted, and Soap can dig cold fingers through thick fur. Then again another time, when Ghost can respond with more than huffs and whines and low growls.

They'll figure it out—they've already done it once before with just each other.

But they definitely have to smooth things over sooner rather than later, or else it's going to be real awkward when Soap finally gets the courage to pull out the ring that's been weighing his pocket down for little over a month, now.

It's fine. Everything will be fine. Soap can manage interesting.

[oomisluvr]

DO YOU THINK OF ME? (IN THE WAY I THINK OF YOU)

SYNOPSIS: falling in love after falling out of it. he’s still your kiyoomi after all this time. 

WARNINGS: ex-boyfriend!sakusa, lame!sakusa, awkward!sakusa, light swearing, references to sex but nothing super graphic, a little sad ngl but the ending is happy (or is it??), 4k words, MINORS, YOU KNOW THE DRILL

You’re not sure what started the break-up. The beginning of the end. You only know that it’s been eight months since you’ve last seen your ex, and the sight of him now feels like looking at a ghost.

Kiyoomi was obsessed with perfection. Still is, probably. Constantly drove himself to the brink just to achieve it, then wore his suffering as if it were a prize. It was all part of his look, the illusion of being put-together. 

In a lot of ways, he treated your relationship like that. Part of an illusion; a specific look. Like you were an accessory to his image. Yet another thing for people to covet about his life.

You, however, are not perfect. No one is. Hell, no relationship is perfect. You know that. Everybody knows that. 

Kiyoomi hated it. Some days it felt like he hated you. 

Life felt so good when all you did was dress up for galas and fall into bed with one another. When all you had to do was look pretty and smile for the media.

It made it easy to avoid your problems, until it wasn’t. Until so much resentment built up that you wanted to hit him with a car. Kiyoomi preferred to avoid your problems, while you faced the situation head on. He loved you, sure, but it felt like he always had one foot out the door. Ready to run when things inevitably went up in flames. 

It exhausted you – trying to reach a person who didn’t want to be touched. You wanted more, and Kiyoomi was scared of what you might see if you got too close. Did you ever really know him? Maybe it was easier to cut things off. Maybe you could have worked it out. 

The last few months of your relationship had been a blur. Fuzzy memories that feel so distant you can’t tell if you made them up or not. You can recall his general fear towards life, despite how hard he tried to overcome it. You remember how… tired he was. All the time. About everything. Including you. 

How do you help someone who doesn't want to be helped? You can't. You can only love them, but Kiyoomi didn't let you do that either.

Months later, you still don’t know what happened. Who pushed who away? 

You blink, remembering where you are.

He’s with his friend now, the rowdy one with the bleached hair. He gives you a once-over and visibly recoils, clapping your ex on the back with a mumble you can’t hear. You haven’t moved. Neither of you have. What is there to say? 

He’s still got that same piercing stare, studying you like one of his opponents from the court. Your heart thrums, remembering the nights he used to look at you like you were the only woman in the world. The memory burns, but you can’t seem to look away. 

He looks good, but he always looks good so that’s not really saying much. It’s the smaller details in his appearance that give him away. The dark circles under his eyes are more noticeable, now a deeper shade of purple in contrast to his sickly-pale skin. His face is a little slimmer too, clothes that are usually well-fitted are now draping loosely over his frame. It’s a small enough difference that any other person in his life probably wouldn’t notice. 

But you aren’t any other person, are you? 

He’s hurting. Bad. The irony makes your gut wrench, fills your bones with lead then tells you to take a dive off a pier. You ignore the voice in your head that whispers that you caused this; you did this to him. You broke him. 

“Hey,” he clears his throat, clearly rattled by your presence, “It’s… been a while. You look well. Nice to see you.”

“Yeah, uh, you too.” you chuckle, mindlessly scratching an itch on your elbow just to give your hands something to do, “How have you been?”

“The usual, y’know,” He’s strikingly good at evading even the most direct questions. “You look like you’ve been doing well.”

“You…” You suppress a grin, poking fun to make light of the situation, “Already said that.”

“Right, sorry.” Your sentiments fly right over his head. Kiyoomi looks… distressed to say the least. This is painful to watch. From your peripheral, you see his friend gag.

“I was actually wondering if we could catch up.” He forces the words out, the words clumsy when they leave his mouth, “Maybe do dinner or something. Catch a movie whenever. Bowling? Only if you want to, though. Whatever’s best for you.” The words are clipped and short, trying much too hard to be casual. 

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” You mumble, because it’s true. It’s 100% not a good idea to spend time alone with your ex-boyfriend. That damn itch on your elbow is back again, “New job has been hounding me all hours of the day.”

“Uh, yeah, sorry,” He looks crushed, the light in his eyes from initially seeing you now gone entirely. “I didn’t mean to make you… uncomfortable or anything. I just–yeah, sorry. Congrats on the new job, though. I told you that you could do it.”

You nod in agreement at his praise. You remember the night he told you those exact words, after comforting you over a bad day at your previous job. You remember how he took it upon himself to make your resume, sending it out to every employer in the city. It was invasive and honestly a little weird, but that’s just how he shows his love. 

Overprotective. Overbearing. It used to be so sweet before it felt suffocating. Like flowers that were nice in the vase on the windowsill. Until their pollen started closing your throat. Like a swim in the ocean on a Summer afternoon. Fun, until you're miles out from shore with no way home, saltwater clouding your vision and burning your lungs. 

You feel the waves wash over you. You clear your throat, like you can feel some pollen, too. 

“Actually,” you can’t stop the words from coming, you’ve lost sight of the shore already, “I think I have some time Thursday night. Maybe we could do something together then.”

“Yeah, sure.” He amends, eyes brightening slightly, “That works. I’ll, uh, text you?” 

“I got a new number recently,” You don’t know why you lie to him, “You can just DM me on Instagram. If we decide to do something.”

(You didn’t get a new number, but iMessage feels too personal. Social media feels like the perfect amount of distance.)

“For sure. I’ll text you. So we can do something.”

“Sounds good,” you offer a tight-lipped smile, “See you around, Sakusa.”

You can see something die in him when he hears his surname on your tongue. You used to call him Kiyoomi. Ki. Omi. Kiyo. Baby, but only sometimes. You used to call him sweetheart, when you really wanted something. Fuck, you used to call him yours. He blinks wildly, like you just struck him across the face. He stumbles a bit when he comes back to reality, rushing to get the door for you and holding it open, “See you around.”

He watches you the whole way, still standing at the door as you drive off, his figure disappearing in the rearview mirror. 

He texts you immediately. 

@s.kiyoomi [7:47PM]: It was great to see you again. Are we still down for Thursday??

You suppose that’s why it’s so easy to fall into bed with him, the familiarity of it all. Your body remembers his touches, had missed it. You writhe and moan and claw at his back before you’re both reaching your peaks, honey-slow and all-encompassing. It echoes to the furthest corners of your body and you feel it everywhere. He kisses your forehead after you both come down, even mumbles a breathless thank you against the skin there. It’s good, the familiarity. Good, good, good.

He leaves after that, when you don’t ask him to stay. He takes the hint. Good.

He comes back a few days later, though. Somehow he forgot his gloves. You guys fuck then, too. It’s good.

The next time he comes back to your apartment, it’s you who calls him. Not good.

You hadn’t meant to lurk. To make a burner account to follow all the Jackals for signs of Kiyoomi. You hadn’t meant to tap on Atsumu’s Instagram story. Hadn’t meant to keep tapping through it.

It’s a group picture with Atsumu and three other people including Kiyoomi. The one with the orange hair has a makeshift crown scribbled over his head, with a tag to his account and a sweet happy birthday message. The one with the gray hair is there, too, captured mid-sentence with a Heinekin in his hand. You had met him a few times. You remember he was sweet. Loud, but sweet. You smile at the photo, studying all the faces. Kiyoomi looks especially good, a small smirk on his face as he stares at the camera. Everyone is dressed handsomely. Good for them.

The next story is taken with the flash on, a short video of a packed club, sweaty bodies pressed on each other as they bump and grind to the music. There’s a figure that looks an awful lot like Sakusa, occupying a dark corner and talking to a smaller, thinner figure. Good for him. If that even is him. Good, good, good.

It’s the next story that has something ugly swelling in the pit of your stomach. It's a bigger group picture, with maybe 15 people. Everybody looks a little gone, probably wasted from so many complimentary shots and discounted birthday beers, so nobody is paying much attention to the camera, their minds elsewhere. Including Sakusa. Well, that, and the fact that he’s got an arm around that same girl from the previous story, captured mid-laugh as they whisper about whatever the hell they’re whispering about. 

It shouldn't bother you. It does. It has you sifting through your contacts to find his number. 

“Hello, Kiyoomi?” It’s loud when he picks up the phone, wherever he is at this point in the night. 

“Hey,” He sounds concerned and a little surprised, the commotion in the background slowly drowning out until you hear a door slam and it’s silent. The audio quality changes to staticky echoes. He must be in a bathroom, “Sorry, it was a little loud back there. Are you okay?” 

“Yeah,” You don’t know where this surge of embarrassment came from. Or why you’re reacting this way. “I was just calling if you wanted to watch the new season of You with me tonight. If you’re busy, don’t worry about it, I just thought—“

“Yes,” It sounds like a prayer, like something worthy of celebration, “Of course I do. I’m just a few blocks away. I could be there in fifteen minutes. Eight, if I run.” 

“Oh,” Part of you knew he would react like this, that he’d come running to your every beck and call. Part of you knows it's why you even called in the first place. You don’t know what that says about your character. You don’t care to know. “You don't have to rush over, we could always–”

There’s a banging on his side of the line, with a muffled demand to hurry the hell up, “Sorry,” he apologizes, though you aren’t sure to who, “I’ll head right over.” 

The call ends. 

You bite your cheek in anticipation, watching Atsumu’s instagram story again and again. 

He comes running, breathless as he pounds on your door. 

Eight minutes pass. Have you been watching his story all this time?

“Hey,” You greet him warmly, opening the door to fully let him in, “You look nice.” 

“Thank you,” he tries not to let the compliment get to his head, but he’s already dizzy from seeing you, “It was Hinata's birthday yesterday, so we all went out to celebrate with him for the weekend.” 

“I saw,” you comment, “Atsumu is very active on social media.”

“I took some pictures, come look.” 

It’s alarming how casual the two of you are, laughing on your sofa like old friends.You never gave it much thought, but there’s bits of him strewn around your apartment. His old highschool sweatshirt he never picked up. Throw blankets he brought over one night and never got back. There's a faded popcorn stain on the couch from when the two of you would binge movies together, the blemish etched into the fabric like a memory.

The grin he’s wearing tonight mimics the one from months ago, when you were choosing between centerpieces for a wedding reception. Your ribs ache.

“I thought the nightlife wasn’t really your thing?” You tease, a little bit of truth behind your words. You used to fight about this, too. Why couldn’t he be one of those “normal” boyfriends that go out with their partners? Couldn’t he do this one thing for you? Your fights were so petty – throwing tantrums just to get the other person’s attention. In hindsight, the issue hardly feels like an issue at all. 

“It wasn’t. Still isn’t, if I’m being honest.” His eyes find yours like he wants you to hear this. He’s different, somehow. He’s trying. “But I'm, uh, learning to try new things. Getting outside of my comfort zone and all that. It’s been fun, for the most part.” 

As he swipes through his camera roll, you see that girl again. She’s terribly pretty, soft cheeks and even softer lips. Big, doe eyes and high cheekbones; something in you withers, then rots and dies. 

“This is a good photo,” You can’t help the smile on your face at the sight of Kiyoomi and the blonde, throwing up the signature Jackals paw and grinning drunkenly at the camera. You tell the truth despite the words burning on your tongue, “She seems really sweet.” 

“She is,” He confirms, oblivious as ever, “Talks a lot, but she means well.”

“You two look good together.” Somehow it hurts more to say aloud. Makes it real, somehow. “You guys seem really close.”

“Yaichi? I mean, yeah, she’s a friend from college. She’s new to the team and I’m the only one she really knows. She tends to follow me around since we’ve known each other the longest.”

You hum, as he continues swiping. The thick atmosphere feels all too familiar to Kiyoomi, and suddenly he’s rushing forward with an explanation.

“She’s just,” nervousness bubbles out of him, “Our team manager, or something. She’s been shadowing that guy you think has weird hair.”

“Kuroo?” you laugh, remembering. You’re glad the conversation has shifted. “I never said he had weird hair!”

“You definitely did. On several occasions, actually.” He prods, “It’s alright – everyone thinks he has weird hair.”

Kuroo always looked out for you. Got you free tickets, never made you pay for merch, let Kiyoomi sneak you into the beautiful foreign countries they played in – that sort of thing. 

You feel your grin fade. That connection was severed after the breakup, “How is he, by the way?”

There’s a lot to catch up on – characters in Kiyoomi’s life that you are no longer a part of. It’s a bittersweet feeling, but you’re glad everyone is doing well even if you aren’t around to see it. The conversation spans late into the night, branching off on wild tangents about nothing in particular. You’re almost sad when you feel yourself getting sleepy. You don’t want it to end.

You truly have missed him. His company. His friendship. He’s still you’re Kiyoomi after all this time.

“Sorry for keeping you up,” He apologizes after seeing a yawn slip past your lips, checking his watch with a chuckle. It’s black. Sleek. Probably a Rolex. Very Sakusa, “I should head home and let you get to bed.” 

“Okay,” You rub your eyes, too tired to protest, “Let me walk to the door.”

Kiyoomi is silent as he helps you clean up the space, folding your throw blankets and fluffing the decor pillows. He lets you get his coat for him.

“Goodnight, Y/N.” His keys are loud as they dangle in his hand. He lingers in your doorway.

“Goodnight, Kiyo.” You sigh. 

Neither of you move. Time seems to slow. It still ticks by too fast. You open your mouth to speak, but he beats you to it. 

“I, uh, really missed this.” He swallows, “I really missed you.” 

“Yeah,” You’re tired of fighting. Physically, mentally. You want him, still. He’s still your Kiyoomi, after everything, despite everything, “Me too.” 

He chuckles, “You called me and I just. Ran over.” 

“Yeah,” You find the energy to smirk at that, “Why did you do that?”

“Because you asked me to.” he breathes, and you read between the lines. I’d do anything you asked me to.

You’re suddenly flustered at his proximity, looming in your doorway like a ghost. You almost can’t believe he’s here. Ditched his teammates – his friends – to come spend time with you. Ran several blocks at midnight because you wanted to see him. You, his ex-girlfriend. You, who broke his heart. He must be some kind of a masochist. 

(He must be in love. The thought scares you, so you stop thinking it).

“Can I–?” His voice raptures you from your thoughts, his sharp gaze flicking between your lips and your eyes. You can feel it radiating off him – the longing. He wants this just as bad as you do.

“Yeah.” You breathe, reaching up to kiss him. 

The kiss is gentle. Unsure. It’s more like two lips pushed together than an actual kiss, but the sentiment is still there. He kisses you like it’s the first time, like it might be the last. You don’t want it to end. It does. 

There’s so many raw emotions, so much hurt shared between the two of you. Looking in his eyes, you don’t allow yourself to think, to feel, before you’re pulling him in by his collar and slamming your lips against his for the second time. He reacts instantly, deepening the kiss with a and a supportive hand to the back of your head. He walks you backwards and lies you back on the couch like you’re made of glass, and fucks you like he means it. Like it really might be the last time, because neither of you know what the hell you’re doing. He goes slower. Deeper. Savors it just a little longer. Makes your toes curl and your voice twist up in pretty cries of his name. You shower together after. He sleeps beside you. 

(It’s been months since he slept in your bed. You ignore how it’s the best sleep you’ve gotten in a long while.)

You wake up the next morning to empty sheets. 

It doesn’t surprise you. It does hurt though, but you aren't sure why. You distance yourself from the feeling entirely. You start a load of laundry instead. 

Twenty minutes pass and there’s a commotion at your front door, the sound of crumpled paper bags and the soft jingle of keys alerting you of another presence. 

“Oh, you’re awake.” He shyly smiles, bags in hand, “I wanted to have something ready for you before you woke up. I took your keys, if that’s alright. Hungry?”

You hum sleepily, a faint smile on your lips, “I could eat.” 

“Perfect,” he mumbles under his breath, rushing to your small dining table to lay out his goods, “I wasn’t sure what to get, so I kind of got everything.” 

It’s french bread from the bakery down the street, and a few pastries because Kiyoomi has a sweet tooth. There’s still steam rising from them – they must’ve just been made. There’s fresh cheese from the deli, too, and whatever fruits he could find. You grab one of the tangerines and start peeling.

Kiyoomi’s occupied himself with making the two of you coffee. You watch as he navigates himself through your kitchen in a domestic rhythm. He’s probably spent more time in it than you have. 

He hums quietly to himself as he puts just the right combination of creamer and sugar in your mug, swirling the contents softly as he makes his way over to your small dining table. 

You take the mug from his hands and take a sip. It’s perfect because of course it is. 

“Good?” He asks, but the tilt of his head tells you he knows the answer. You roll your eyes. He offers a satisfied grin in return. “Muscle memory.”

The two of you dig in, eating quietly in each other’s presence. 

“I thought you left.” You surprise yourself at your forwardness. 

He stops chewing, politely wiping his mouth with a napkin before answering, “Why would I ever do that?” You blink.

“You used to be so rigid. Afraid, maybe? I don’t know.” You shrug, not really knowing what your own words mean, “But it’s nice to see you like this. You seem lighter. Happier. More comfortable with yourself.”

“Yeah. I, uh,” he averts his gaze, suddenly entertained with the buttery flakes of his croissant, “I realized some things after our break-up. You were right. About everything, really. I didn’t allow myself to be vulnerable with you. All you wanted was to love me, and I refused to let you in. You didn’t deserve that.“

“You didn’t deserve that either–” his honesty blindsides you, “–To feel like you couldn’t be vulnerable. I know I didn’t create the safest environment for communication. I caused a lot of petty fights just to get a reaction out of you. I should have been more honest with how I was feeling.”

“Is that…” He swallows, looking pained, “Is that why you pushed me away?”

“I…pushed you away?” You frown, heart breaking from hearing his side of things, “I wasn’t trying to push you anywhere. I missed you, is all. I just wanted us to get back to where we were.”

He smiles solemnly, eyes empty, “I’m sorry, Y/N. Truely, I am.”

You nod your head softly, “I’m sorry, too.”

Silence fills the air, but there’s nothing awkward about it. It’s light. Forgiving. With all cards on the table, there’s nothing to hide. The two of you continue eating. Breakfast nearly finished, you take another clementine, peeling away the tough rind and chewing softly. “Do you, uh,” he scratches the back of his neck, “Do you think we can try again? Try us again?”

You hum, peeling off another segment.

You offer him a slice, hand outstretched.

get this out of my sight

[xcaptain-winterx]

Plz plz plz make part 2 of the Steve rogers x Recuit reader🙏🥺

Be a man

Steve Rogers x reader

summary: Steve is a burned chicken nugget

warnings: awkwardness, Bucky being a wingman, angst, fluff, flu, shy Steve, no cum

a/n: English is not my first language, meaning you will probably find a lot of misspelling etc. I think I did a lot of mistakes in this fic

Part 1 Part 3

Main Masterlist Steve Rogers Masterlist

“How is he doing?” Sam asks as Bucky steps out of Steve’s bathroom.

“You mean because of how he embarrassed himself in front of his girl or because of the fact that he swallowed his own cum?”. Bucky leans against the wall next to Sam.

If Steve wasn’t feeling that bad and if he hadn’t witnessed, the whole thing in front of him, Sam would have laughed at the mere fact that Bucky used swallowed and cum in the same sentence. He would’ve never thought that Steve would do this kind of thing. He thought Bucky would do that to be honest, and on purpose.

“Both”.

“Not good, not in the slightest. Probably won’t ever come out of his room again. Can’t blame him though” Bucky says, giving Sam a sad smile, “I would have changed my name and moved states if that happened to me, and faked my own death for my new identity”.

Sam gives him the side eye, “sounds like you already planned this whole ‘if’ situation. Sometimes you really fucking scare me, Gandalf”.

Now it’s Buckys turn to give Sam the side eye, “Don’t call me that”.

“Why?”

“I’m not like him in the slightest?”

“Yeah, old, wrinkly, gray hair, bad posture, looking lost all the time, long hair, packed, greasy-“

“I’m not greasy, bird brain, and what do you mean with packed?”

Sam thinks for a second; he’s been waiting for this opportunity for a long time. “It means good, very good”. He can’t wait to tell Tony what he did.

Bucky turns to Sam, “so you think I’m a good guy?”.

“Definitely, a very packed guy” Sam says nodding, hiding his smug smile. He doesn’t miss the small happy expression that crosses Bucky’s face. Just as Bucky is about to say something, they hear Steve emptying his stomach again. Bucky curses and rushes into the bathroom to Steve.

He rubs Steve’s back while he is throwing up, exactly like he did back in the old days. Back when everything near Steve could make him sick.

Once he emptied his stomach, Bucky fills him a glass of water and sits down next to him on the bathroom floor. Steve’s eyes are red and teary and face pale as a ghost. He gives him a faint nod as Bucky gives him the glass.

“Slow sips” Bucky says, helping him holding the glass du to him shaking. Once Steve is done, he gives Bucky a small thanks and rests his head against the wall.

It’s silent now, no voice that echoes through the bathroom. You can only hear the faint sound of Sam’s foot tapping the floor outside the bathroom. Bucky is the first to break the silence.

“What are you feeling?”

Steve scoffs, and Bucky swears he can see his eyes water for a second. “I feel like an idiot” Steve says.

“What do you mean?” Bucky asks, helping Steve as he tries to get up. Steve looks deep into Bucky’s eyes when he finally stands. Bucky can see the clear pain in his eyes. Not only pain, but complete exhaustion.

“I was an idiot for thinking I actually had a chance with her” he whispers before pushing Bucky’s hand off him and walks out of the bathroom.

Sam was in with a confused expression, questioning what they talked about because Steve just walked away. Normally Steve is the last person to walk away from a conversation with his Bucky. He won’t say best friend because he’s obviously Steve’s best friend. 100%.

“What happened?” Sam finally asks.

“Get your running shoes” Bucky says, not giving Sam a single glance as he walks out. He leaves an even more confused Sam behind.

“Running shoes?”

Two days passes in which Steve didn’t leave his room ones. In that time Bucky had to bring Steve some food because he wouldn’t even leave his room for that. Bucky didn’t care about Steve’s reasoning that he’s a super soldier and can go days without eating. It may be true, but there is no way in hell that Bucky would let Steve ‘starve’ himself. Bucky’s mom would be proud of him for still taking care of poor Steve.

Steve appreciated Bucky for taking care of him, even though he told him to stop. He just wanted to be alone under his bedsheets, wishing he was dead.

Somehow, Steve managed to get sick. Steve, the super soldier Rogers, got sick.

It took Bucky every strength to get Steve to agree to put on some pants and go see the medic. Now he’s helping Steve walk to the med. Knowing Steve isn’t a big fan of people seeing him in such a state, especially someone specific, they take the stairs instead of the elevator.

“Sit down, pal” Bucky says, walking to the examination bed and helping him up and making sure that Steve is comfortable. Just as Steve is up on it, Bucky’s phone starts to rink.

“Hello?” Bucky asks, picking up the phone quite fast. Steve stares at Bucky, trying to listen to who it is. He’s been in his room for days, not doing anything. Seeing Bucky talking to someone on the phone is the most exciting thing he has seen in days.

“Alright” Bucky hangs up. “I need to go”

“What?”

“Sam is in trouble”

“And he called you?” Steve asks

“No, security did”

“…..what?”

“I need to go, Steve. I will come back later”

“Wait wait wait, no!” Steve begs, grabbing Bucky’s hand as he stands up “don’t leave me alone. I can’t do this without you”. Steve gives Bucky his best puppy eyes.

“It’s just the doctor, Steve”

“But what if-“ Steve gets cut off by Bucky.

“I really need to go, Steve. The faster I go the faster I will be back” he says walking out, giving no room for Steve to say something.

Steve is now alone in the med, waiting for the doctor. Hopefully Bruce.

He tries to calm his breathing, telling himself that everything is ok, that she isn’t here, then Banner will soon be here. You’re not a medic or something close to-

“Hello, Mr Rogers”

God, please no

“I heard you aren’t doing that good. What’s wrong”

No, no no no

“Mr Rogers?” you ask, putting on some gloves.

Steve snaps back to reality as you touch his shoulder. Even through the glove, he can feel the warmth of your fingers. There’s nothing more he would rather have than hold your hand in his. He imagines how he holds your hand while dancing to some soft music, any kind of music. Steve would even dance with you to heavy metal if that’s your favorite music. “Hello”.

“Hi” you say smiling at him. “How are you feeling?”.

“I uhm…I’m tired, my eyes are burning sometimes and I feel like a burned chicken nugget” Steve says. He remembers how one’s Sam told him that ‘burned chicken nugget’ means feeling warm.

Steve looks up at you and gives you a small smile. He is trying his best not to cry because of nervousness.

“A burned chicken nugget?” you ask, chuckling.

Steve blushes “y-yeah”. Hearing your sweat laugh makes him turn bright red. He just hopes you don’t notice. You likely will, though.

“Well, isn’t that a unique description” you say while writing down his symptoms. After writing it down, you take a thermometer and turn back to Steve, “please open your mouth, Mr Rogers”.

Steve does as he’s told, and you put the thermometer in his mouth. Steve uses the moment where you are not looking to take you in fully. The lab coat really suits you, so does your small bumblebee patch on the front pocket of the coat. Not only does your outfit make his heart beat faster but also your eyes. You are wearing something Steve believes to be called mascara. At least, that is what Natasha told him a few months ago, as he had to wait for her to finish her makeup before a mission.

Soon a beep tone comes from the thermometer, and you take it out of his mouth. You looked at the thermometer shocked “oh, you are hot”

“So are you” Steve says without thinking.

“What?” you surely misheard him.

“What?” Steve wants to throw himself out the window. The silence between you two screams that this is awkward. Thankfully, you just drop it and instead take your glove off and place your hand on Steve’s forehead. He’s burning up.

“I think we should perhaps draw some blood, Captain” you walk to grab everything you need while Steve already rolls his sleeve up. Only problem is that he’s wearing a sweatshirt, despite feeling like he’s on fire, and he can’t roll it far enough up. You see that and say “perhaps you should remove your sweatshirt”.

Steve is dying on the inside. The hesitation is clear on his face and you notice that.

“I mean you don’t have to, but I won’t be able to draw some blood”

You know that it’s important to draw some blood, especially from him, because a normal person would be close to dying with his temperature. He most likely isn’t because of the serum, so you aren’t panicking that much, but he is still suffering.

Steve can hear the concern as you speak and knows it’s important to draw some blood. He needs to just be a man for ones and jump over the shadow of little twink Steve. With that he takes his sweatshirt off, revealing his sweat covered bare upper body.

You stare at his chest for a bit, checking out his almost shining muscle, while making a ‘damn boy’ expression.

Steve can’t tell if you’re judging his body or if you think he looks good. He hopes you think he looks good. He stops breathing as you take your eyes off of him and prepare to draw some blood.

“Are you nervous?” you ask, immediately wanting to slap yourself as you realize you asked freaking Captain America if he’s scared of needles. “Sorry, obviously you aren’t”.

Steve chuckles. “They are nothing new to me. Had to get them a lot when I was smaller”.

“You got sick a lot?”

“All the time. I was the sick kid back then. This is the first I’ve been sick in seventy years”

“Well then, we better make sure you get better soon” you say preparing the needle. Even though Steve is not scared you still try to distract him from the needle “I heard you sketched a lot. A true artist”.

Steve smiles at that….until he realizes that you know a thing that he almost no one knows. It’s true that he likes to sketch and draw, but he does that when he’s alone. There is no way you could know that.

While Steve questions how you could possibly know that, you start to slowly push the needle into his skin. He comes back to reality when he feels your hand touch his bare arm. Surprisingly, he’s not getting hard.

He still puts a hand over his area, just to make sure.

“Yeah, I uhm did- still do”

“What do you sketch?”

“Buildings, the nature, animals, just beautiful stuff in general” he says, not telling you that you are currently his number one thing to sketch. Steve doesn’t need to see you to sketch you. You are constantly in his head, every detail of your face is tattooed in his brain.

“I always love to paint sunsets” you say.

“You paint?” he asks, kind of surprised, but also excited.

“Yeah, I used to go to art classes when I was a teenager” you say smiling, carefully pulling out the needle.

“I did too”

“Seems like we have something in common” you say, looking up at him and giving him smile.

“I guess we do” Steve says, looking down at his lap, blushing even more. As his eyes move back up, something yellow caught his eyes.

A bright yellow bumblebee bandage.

You notice him looking at his arm. “Oh, I uhm-I don’t know where the other bandages are and I always carry those with me. I know they aren’t exactly what people above the age of ten prefer, but I like to say they bring luck” you say, not looking him in the eyes. It’s at that moment that Steve realizes that he never liked someone as much as you. “I’m sorry if you don’t like it, but Dr Banner didn’t tell me where they are before he left”

“Left?” Steve asks.

“With agent Romanoff. I believe she told me they were going to Norway”.

He definitely missed a lot during his depressive episode.

“You are done” you say, giving him his sweatshirt. “The results will come in tomorrow. I will inform you once they are here, Captain. Till then I can give you something that can perhaps help you, at lest for tonight”.

Steve nods, putting his sweatshirt back on “t-thanks”

“It’s my job, Captain Rogers” you say, looking at him with a smile that he can only describe as the smile of an angel, filling his body with a warmth that he never felt before.

“I-I know, but still” Steve says, looking you deep into the eyes. He takes a deep breath. This may be his chance. “Perhaps I could repay you. W-would you like to go-“

The door slams open and Tony fucking Stark walks in.

Oh, how much he wants to throw Tony out of the window just now.

Tony stares at the both of you, raising a brow, continuing his search for something. “Am I interrupting something?” he asks.

“No, Mr Stark”

“Yes, Tony”

You look at Steve, while he stares at the floor. He feels so embarrassed as he realizes what he said. It doesn’t make it better that Tony stopped walking and is now staring at him too.

“Damn Rogers, didn’t know you-“

Steve slams the doors open and storms out. This is even more embarrassing than as he swallowed his own cum in front of you. Everything was going great. He was talking to you without stuttering like a complete idiot. He managed to not get hard while you touched him. You both were talking about something you have in common.

He wishes Banner would have checked him up, then he wouldn’t have embarrassed himself like that. Why did he have to be sick the one time Banner isn’t there? Why didn’t Bucky tell him that Banner wasn’t-.

Steve stops walking as he realizes.

“You are fucking dead, Barnes”

tag: @purple-ash27 @catluv3rrr @james-bb-1917 @bitchy-bi-trash

[shingekinomyfeelings]

preservation (Reiner x gn reader; drama/fluff)

sfw. canon universe, 104th cadet era. ~1,600 words. no content warnings.

Your over-eager recklessness lands you in the infirmary, and your boyfriend is, well, a little pissy about it...

notes: oh, I know it's not sexy, but I really really love this one, and Reiner acting like an immature grump is always super funny to me. Y/n likes to push his buttons a little, but you definitely love each other. Reiner deserves a bit of a hard time now and then anyway. originally published January 2023.

The first thing you’re aware of is that you’re in a bed – not on the hard forest floor you remember rushing towards you at a terrifying speed – and that fucking hell, your body aches. Blinking a few times, your fuzzy vision clears and you find yourself staring up at a ceiling – not the barracks?

It takes a moment, but you soon recognize that you’re in the infirmary.

‘Why the infirmary...?’

Okay, maybe you got a little too competitive with the training dummies, and maybe you were going way too fast, and maybe trying out some of those fancy maneuvers you’d seen some members of the Survey Corps practicing on the training grounds the week before wasn’t the best idea you’d had recently, but who could really fault you for that?

“Do you actually get some kind've weird kick out of making me worry about you?” A gruff voice to your right makes you glance over in surprise, the room seeming to wobble and tilt just a bit as you turn your head too quickly.

Reiner is seated in the chair next to your bed, slouching to the side with one elbow braced on the arm of the chair so he can prop his face against his hand. He doesn’t even look at you as he poses this question, and the sight of this huge man sulking in a chair that was probably intended for a much smaller person is almost comical enough to make you laugh – except for the intense pain that sears through your ribs when you give a single huff of amusement.

When this immediately makes you wince and take a sharp gasp, you could swear you saw him twitch a muscle, but he keeps his gaze fixed on the opposite wall.

‘So fucking stubborn.’

It’s a little endearing, but at the same time it makes you want to needle him back a bit.

“I mean, of course I do. Practically the reason I get up each morning. Today for instance, I woke up and thought, ‘man, I don’t wanna get up, but I just gotta so I can fuck up a maneuver at full speed and bust my ribs because I’d love to see the look on Reiner’s face when that happens.’ I ate breakfast in a hurry and everything.”

It doesn’t sound as antagonistically flippant as you meant it to sound, sadly, because it actually hurts to talk right now, and because you actually are a little annoyed that he won’t look at you. You can’t even really see his expression, but from the way his brow looks extra furrowed and his nose seems to be crinkled a bit, you imagine he looks like he wants to smother you with your pillow.

With some effort, you push yourself to sitting more or less upright, though still leaning against the headboard, and take a look around. The infirmary is mostly empty but for a few other occupied beds, and afternoon light is spilling through the open windows on a gentle breeze. No one else seems to have any visitors right now.

Reiner is still wearing his body harness, the ODM gear on the floor to either side of his chair; you realize he must have abandoned the drill entirely to follow you here, giving you a pang of regret for being sarcastic with him. Even if he is being a little petulant right now, he’s so sweet…

A moment passes in awkward silence.

“Hey… can you bring me some water, please?” you ask softly, a hint of apology in your voice.

“Get it yourself,” he grumbles, and you can tell he’s trying his best to sound indifferent as he casts you a look from the corner of his eye. “Your ribs aren’t broken, just bruised. That cut on your leg looks pretty nasty, but seeing that you’re already fully capable of being a pain in the ass, I’m guessing the bump on your head didn’t do any lasting damage, either.”

Okay, he’s being really petulant right now.

You give him a look that says, ‘Are you kidding me?’ before swinging your legs off the side of the bed and getting to your feet.

A full body wave of pain draws a trembling exhalation from your lungs, threatening for a heartbeat to throw you off balance… and then Reiner brushes past you to briskly cross the room, returning a moment later looking like a fluffy blonde storm cloud, carrying a glass of water that he pushes into your outstretched hands with an irritated snort.

“Why do you have to be so fucking stubborn?”

An incredulous look flashes across your face before you laugh, dropping yourself back onto the bed a little too hard and splashing yourself with some of the water in the process. A long whimper of pain escapes around your laughter, and you lay back against the pillows as you recompose yourself. Now Reiner’s just looking at you with an expression somewhere between frustrated concern and a confused pout.

“I’m sorry, Reiner, but coming from you of all people...” You look back up at him with a grin despite the pain, and the cold water all over your shirt. “Were you hoping I’d just keep asking you for water or something?”

His pout deepens; of course he’s not going to admit that…

"Come on, sit down,” you implore, setting the water aside and motioning him towards the chair. “Please?”

He sits back down in the chair as it creaks, but facing you this time. You’re able to snake your hand out to grab the harness running across his chest and tug him closer, and though he gives a halfhearted grumble, he allows you to pull him forward so that he’s slumped against the bed, his cheek resting on your stomach. This way, you can relax against your pillows while running your fingers through his hair and lightly grazing them across his cheekbone.

“You mad at me?”

“Hrmm.” You can feel him relaxing against you a little, and he can’t resist resting his eyes for a moment. “Dunno if I’d say angry, but it’s getting pretty damn aggravating how often you’ve been doing shit like this these last few months. You know you don’t have to test your limits in every dumbass way that gets into your head, right?”

“Aren’t we supposed to be pushing ourselves to become stronger?” You brush your hand across his forehead, him looking up at you now with those piercing golden eyes. “Besides, I don’t see you holding back. I mean, I’m not saying I think I’m as strong as you are, but--”

“Hey.” He cuts you off with a firmer tone than before, though he doesn’t lift his head, and his cheek is still smooshed against your belly. “I don’t want you going around with the idea that I think you’re weak or something, cuz I’ve never thought that. I just worry about you, and you’re a little over eager with the risks.”

“I don’t want you to worry about me.” You gaze out the window briefly before you continue, “But, if I get stronger, maybe you won’t... have to, y’know?”

Reiner gives a little huff of annoyance at this.

“Listen, even if you were stronger than the rest of the 104th put together, I’d...” His features tinge a little red as he struggles momentarily to maintain his grumpy expression with you. “I’d still wanna keep you safe ‘n stuff...”

Seeing the downright soppy look that you can’t keep from crossing your face in that instant, he clears his throat and glances aside with a forced air of impassivity before adding, “And I’d still worry about you, especially when you run around acting like you barely worry about yourself.”

You’re searching for the right words when the nurse suddenly enters the room, but – bless her – she merely pretends not to notice the pair of you as she tends to the other patients. You both fall silent for several long minutes as she minds the others, and when she finally leaves again, it’s Reiner who picks up the conversation before you can.

“You know, in another few months, we’re not gonna be cadets anymore. I know you’re still planning to join the Survey Corps. What the hell’s gonna happen to you when you’re out there if you don’t reign it in a little?”

Sighing, you decide that as long as he’s being all emotionally honest here, you may as well do the same. “Look, I get it. I wanna keep you safe, too… I wanna become strong enough to do that. That's all.”

Reiner isn’t sure how to reply, nor what emotion he should ascribe to the swelling feeling that grips his heart, and the strange but pleasant way his stomach seems to do a flip. He opts to just bury his face against your stomach and take your hand in his own, squeezing it tightly.

“I’m really gonna need you to work on your sense of self preservation for me, okay?”

“I will, I promise – as long as you’re gonna let me look out for you, too.”

“Deal. You are gonna have to rest until your ribs heal up, though. I’ll tie you down if I have to.”

“Aw, you just want an excuse to tie me up on a bed, don’t you?”

“Huh. Not gonna lie, you got me thinking about it now...”

You can only imagine how badly the other patients wish the two of you would shut up now.

[veespee]

Alex Koval HCs

bc i love him with all my heart

-He will often, especially when he tries to sleep, massage or pet himself. Like petting his hair, or massaging the back of his shoulders, and he will close his eyes, imagining it's his mother's hands instead of his. He also has a habit of acting like his parents were still alive to cope. (i'm pretty sure that's canon, since when Jeff asked him if he wanted to go somewhere with him, Alex said: “let me go ask mom real quick”, which,,, got me sobbing)

-He was an EARLY Alex G fan. Race was released in January 1st 2010, so that's the first album Alex got to know. Probably from friends or something, but that would be his inspiration to create his own music. I just feel like he'd love indie and midwest emo. (also HC that his favorite Alex G song is Kicker and/or Animals)

-He doesn't like throwing away objects he has from his childhood. Plushies, pillows, notebooks, anything that has memories attached to it, he'll never throw away. I feel like he'd have lots of plushies of dogs especially, and one that looked like sparky. That's the plushie he’s most attached to, and he keeps it next to his pillow. He's too attached, and even feels sympathy for the objects. (also i feel like he'd be the type of person to bump into a table or something and apologize)

-He's a nail biter. Jeff tells him to stop, although Jeff is also guilty of biting his nails sometimes. I think that Alex's hands would be super warm, even in the cold, as he's too awkward and doesn't know where to put his hands, so they're always in his pockets. He'd also probably bite the flesh around his nails, maybe making it bleed sometimes.

-I have this specific scenario in mind for him, like a memory he has stuck in his mind from his childhood (i just wanted to have my writer moment tbh so here you go): When he was young, maybe around 7-8, he was out in his backyard. It had snowed, and he was just walking around and stomping on the powdery snow that covered the grass. That's when he stumbles upon a small brown bird, a laying in the snow, unmoving. He picks it up, holding it gently in his palms. The bird was unfortunately dead, but young Alex didn't understand. He pet it's head, but it was still frozen. Alex frowned, and decided to take it back to the house to show his mother. He steps inside, his mother was cooking some soup in the kitchen, and it smelled great. Alex walks into the kitchen, the frozen little bird in his palms. He tugs at his mother's shirt to get her attention, and asks her why the bird isn't flying. His mother looks down at him and smiles, kneeling down a bit to get to his level. “Oh sweetie,” she starts, “The birdie is asleep. But it's going to be asleep for a long time.” she softly says, not wanting to upset the boy. She pets his hair gently, seeing that he looks quite sad. “Don't worry Al, we can leave the birdie in the backyard. His family members will find him, and they'll have a happy reunion.” she says, and she can see Alex smile. She smiles back and gently caresses Alex's cheek with her thumb. “See? Now go put the birdie back where you found it.” she ends as she turns back to pot of soup she was making. Alex nods happily and puts the bird back in the corner of the backyard.

When Alex comes back the next day, he goes back to his backyard. He remembers the little bird and smiles, going to check if it's family had found it. Sadly, when he walked towards the corner of the fence of his backyard, he saw a red liquid mixed with the powdery snow. He panicked and searched for the bird, which was unfortunately found by a fox, and looked mauled. Alex pets the bird's head, but it was clear it wasn't responding. He sobbed quietly, not wanting to be too loud and worry his parents and Jeff. So he wiped his tears, and went back inside. He looked devastated that an innocent, small animal could have such an end.

(this mightt be a metaphor for Alex's death… but it's up to the interpretation of the reader :)

thank you for reading! 🖤

[leejeongz]

how enhypen act when they have a crush on you

pairing: crush!enha x gn!reader

genre: fluff

warnings: teasing, slang

heeseung ･:，｡★ﾟ

♡ it took him a while to realise he had a crush on you tbh he just thought you intimidated him for other reasons

♡ like he knew you were attractive and that you’d most probably get on well, but he didn’t realise the actual gravity of his feelings

♡ shy heeseung !!!!

♡ the only person who can make him blush (he’d never EVER admit it though)

♡ launches his phone and kicks his feet whenever you reply to him

♡ if someone catches him he’s straight back to “:| nothing”

♡ heeseung has definitely accidentally liked one of your posts from 2014 lmfao

♡ in real life, you would never imagine that he has a crush on you. he tries his hardest to avoid you and panics when your schedules overlap because he just AH doesn’t know how to act around you

♡ he talks to all your friends but you :(( he does want to but he thinks he’ll embarrass himself in front of you

other members below the cut

jay ･:，｡★ﾟ

♡ FULL ❗️ of compliments

♡ sometimes they don’t land as he wishes, they’re a bit awkward and sound kinda weird when he says them out loud (but you’re still getting giddy over them because you have a crush on him too lol)

♡ no matter how long you’ve been friends, he still can’t look you in the eye

♡ but he does know how beautiful they are and isn’t afraid to tell you !!!

♡ we all know jay has no bad days, especially when it comes to his looks, but he tries extra hard on days when he knows that he’ll see you, spending hours on his hair and outfit, that’s how his friends know that he really likes you.

♡ okay so out of everyone, against all odds, i think he would be the most successful when it comes to flirting

♡ as i said he’s full of compliments but he’s also very good at making it known what his intentions are

♡ so you’d never be left feeling like you don’t know where you stand, it’s pretty clear that he has a crush on you

jake ･:，｡★ﾟ

♡ jake is the type of guy to look out for those he’s interested in, even if you don’t even know each other

♡ he keeps his eye on you, probably from afar, and uses it to work his way into your life

♡ idk if jake can acc drive but he would still find a way to make your journey to school/work easier

♡ jake is 100% that one guy who waits to message you on your birthday just to start a conversation and it works lol of course it does

♡ i don’t doubt that you’re hilarious ofc, but jake thinks you’re the funniest person on the planet,,, no one has ever made him laugh as much as you do.

♡ he tries to show off in front of you tbh

♡ and sometimes it’s like kinda cringe for other people to watch but he’s charmed you so you don’t seem to find it cringe at all :)

sunghoon ･:，｡★ﾟ

♡ despite his cold exterior, you always find him being nice to you

♡ the wanna be tsundere that just doesn’t have it in him to ever ignore you

♡ he texts you back really quickly and tries to help you with stuff even if he has no idea

♡ whenever you catch him looking at you, he turns away real quickly and smiles to himself… very cute

♡ there’s definitely going to be a rumour about you two dating before he's even confessed to you since he acts so differently around you than anyone else

♡ his feelings are like burning a hole in his heart that’s how strong they are, but he still doesn’t do anything about it because he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable 😭 bless him

sunoo ･:，｡★ﾟ

♡ you very quickly find yourself within his friendship circle, and, although you’re not very close with sunoo, he’s always super affectionate with you and smiling at you

♡ a gift giver. even if it’s just a small thing like a pen because you forgot to bring one that day. he picks out the prettiest pen in his pencil case and gives it to you with the most genuine sweet smile

♡ whether you’re at school or working, he tries his hardest to clear his schedule on important days for you (sports events, interviews, presentations, etc).

♡ so basically, he’s your number one supporter and he WILL be your best friend whether you like it or not before he even considers confessing his feelings

jungwon ･:，｡★ﾟ

♡ without realising it’s kind of… weird he copies stuff you do and buys similar items

♡ like say you have a blue cloud charm on your backpack, he’ll get a pink cloud charm to match lol

♡ denies that he has a crush on you but 🤨

♡ he’s adamant he will spend time around you even if it means sacrificing his own plans. he grabs lunch at your favourite cafe in hopes of seeing you instead of sticking with his friends

♡ saying that tho, i think jungwon would be least likely to change himself around you

♡ he always acts like himself around you, if you don’t like him for that then that’s on you 🤷🏻‍♀️

♡ but who doesn’t have a crush on jungwon lol ANW

♡ one time he asked you if you wanted a hug when he noticed you looking stressed and now physical affection is normal between you two, like the next step would be kissing lmfao

niki ･:，｡★ﾟ

♡ the first to tell his friends, the second he’s sees you he hits the group chat and tells them he’s gonna talk to you and make you his

♡ he thinks he’s so confident and smooth but he’s stuttering on EVERY WORD

♡ he’s most definitely a teaser, you’ll come away from every conversation thinking he dislikes you but that’s so far from the truth

♡ behind your back, he’s your number 1 defender, to the point where no one even dares say anything bad about you because they are too scared of niki lmfao

♡ he loves sitting next to you and poking you or nudging you (especially when you’re concentrating)

♡ AND THEN asking if you wanna get up and dance ??? even though you're in public or smth lmfao

[apathetic-pixel-42]

hello, I noticed that you write for shaman king and I wanted to request if you could make like oneshots or head cannons about the boys realizing that they fell for the reader. You can use any gender you want. Thank you!

Hiii!! Thank you so much for your request!! I hope you love it! <33333

Shaman King Boys Realizing That They're In Love 💌

Includes: Yoh, Horohoro, Ren, Lyserg, Chocolove, and Hao

Yoh:

I think when Yoh first figured out that he had feelings for you, he'd definitely have a mini mental crisis.

I mean, he planned on marrying Anna after all! Imagine what would happen if he tried to call it off.

He'd probably take some time to clear his mind, asking his friends and family for any advice on what to do.

He'd eventually talk it out with Anna, which surprisingly goes quite well. No hard feelings and even some words of encouragement!

During this time, I think he'd definitely be a bit distant. I don't think he'd actively try to avoid you, but he'd probably be less talkative or touchy.

However, once he has everything sorted out, he'd slowly start actively pursuing you.

There'd be little changes in his behavior: he'd be hugging you or holding your hand more often, naturally standing closer to you, staring at you more often, and the likes!

It probably wouldn't be super noticeable at first, since you guys would probably be close friends before all of this.

If you don't get the hint, then he'd start upping up the ante. He'd start spending more alone time with you, gifting you little trinkets, training with you, etc.

Eventually, he'd have the courage to confess to you. Of course, if you confess to him first, he'd be ecstatic.

Overall, super sweet and chill about the whole thing. He'd have his awkward moments, but he's super relaxed and comfortable around you.

Horohoro:

Another one who'd have a mental crisis, but for different reasons.

Given what happened last time Horohoro liked someone, he's terrified that you'll end up with the same fate.

He almost immediately becomes distant, too lost in his fears and intrusive thoughts to actually consider what he's doing.

It isn't until someone like Ren or Yoh knocks some sense into him that he understands what he's actually doing.

He takes a lot of time to himself, reflecting on what he should do and if he should even try to pursue you at all.

Not only that, but he also has to consider a lot of other circumstances! With the competition still going on, Hao's presence, and his own personality, who knows what'll happen?

He's so scared about scaring you away. He doesn't want to hurt you, but he also doesn't want someone to target you.

If you confronted him first, he'd be extremely nervous. He'd be serious though, explaining his fears and apologizing for pushing you away.

If you didn't confront him, he'd probably approach you when he knew he couldn't avoid it any longer. He tells you about the issue, wholeheartedly expecting you to reject him.

If you reject him, he'd understand. If you reciprocated his feelings, he'd be so grateful and happy. It'd take him a while to get fully comfortable with the new situation, but you'd get to see the old, playful Horohoro soon enough.

He'd be stuck by your side, always at your beck and call whenever you needed him. He's super protective and clingy, always going to you whenever something upsets him. Overall, it'd be a bit of work in the beginning, but he'd be super sweet and loyal!

Ren:

I can see this going one of two ways. He'd either be super confident and accepting of his feelings, or he'd be panicked and freaking out. Maybe both.

Ren's the kind of guy who confronts his problems head on, but he seems to struggle when it comes to an internal problem.

He probably seeks out Yoh's advice first. I mean come on, Yoh's the one with a fiancé after all.

Ren also talks to his family, asking them about how he should go about this. He also wants some other points of view on the matter. After all, he wants to be prepared for every possibility.

He takes some time to prepare. He plans out an outline of what he wants to say, but he also prepares himself for rejection.

Once he feels ready, he approaches you nonchalantly. He keeps his confession short and sweet, laying out the basic foundation of what he wanted and what he'd like if you agreed.

If you reject him, he understands and quickly moves on. It would depend on you whether or not your relationship with him changes, but he wouldn't be too bothered by it.

If you accepted his feelings, he'd be pleased. He'd sit down and quickly establish stuff like boundaries. He's let you know about the stuff that comes with beings his partner, and you'd do the same.

He's not super physically affectionate, but he makes up for it through acts of service.

He's also a bit protective given the enemies him and his family have, so he's usually stuck by your side.

Overall, he's super loyal despite not being super vulnerable. It'd take some time for both of you to find a normal routine, but he'd eventually get the hang of it.

Lyserg:

Lyserg is definitely one of the more complicated ones on this list.

Given how good Lyserg appears to be when it comes to hiding his feelings, I honestly don't know how he'd react when he first realizes his feeling for you.

Whether or not he's with the X-Laws, I think he'd be conflicted on what to do.

I see Lyserg as the one who doesn't do anything about his feelings. He tries pushing them down, hoping that they'll eventually just go away.

I doubt that he'll approach you about it, so you'd probably be the one to confront him about his behavior.

I also think it'd be a lot worse if he had just joined the X-Laws. He'd be missing you terribly, but he'd also be actively ignoring you and pushing you away.

With everything and everyone in the way, you'd probably get fed up or give up. He's not surprised, but he slowly becomes more frantic and persistent in wanting to see you.

If you agree to meet, he'd confess everything. He'd probably cry and beg for at least your forgiveness, promising to never do this again.

If you reject him, he cries himself to sleep that night. If you accept his feelings, he runs to you sobbing. He hugs you tightly, nuzzling into your shoulder and accidently getting your shirt wet.

He'd actively start working on himself in order to help the relationship, even sticking up to Marco a few times. He's not the most affectionate, but I see him as a guy who's great with words. He'd write you little love letters, expressing his love for you and how grateful he was for you.

Overall, he's super sweet and affectionate behind closed doors. He's more modest around the group, but he makes sure too make up for it.

Chocolove:

The most accepting and reassured with his feelings out of the entire group.

When he first realized he fell for you, he didn't mind acknowledging it. Sure, he felt a little embarrassed, but he couldn't help but feel giddy.

He wouldn't change the way he acted around you, but it'd be obvious that he was taking a liking to you. He'd be more playful, more touchy, and he'd do more jokes and stunts to get your praise and attention.

If you reciprocated with teasing remarks, you can expect him to be flustered as hell. He'd quickly regain his composure though, teasing and playfully flirting back.

This wouldn't change when he became blind, but I think he'd start spending more alone time with you.

With everything that'd happened, he'd be a lot more vulnerable with you. The loss of his friends hit him hard, and he doesn't want to take his time with you for granted.

He'd initiate small acts of physical affection, testing the waters to see what you like and don't like. Once you were comfortable with each other, then he'll start being more openly affectionate around the others.

Wrapping his arm around your shoulders, hugging you, holding your hand, it doesn't matter. If you like it, then he likes it.

Eventually, he'd build up the courage to properly confess. Maybe with a cheesy pun, but it's certainly adorable.

If you reject him, he'll understand and back off despite being disappointed. If you accept him, he'll be so happy that he'll pick you up and twirl you around.

Overall, the most playful and relaxed. He'll have his flustered and embarrassed moments, but he knows you love it.

Hao:

The most confident about his feelings. The second he realizes what he's feeling, he immediately begins pursing you.

If you were on his team, he'd pursue you in private. He'd start hanging out with you more, but he doesn't beat around the bush about his feelings.

If you weren't on his side, then he'd have fun messing with you. He'd show up at random times, teasing you relentlessly just to get your attention.

Sometimes after your fights, he'd secretly approach you and compliment your skill. He doesn't do this with amateurs, so he considers you special.

Given his mind reading abilities, he'll automatically know whether you like him or not. Even if you don't feel the same, he'll still continue his fun until he's bored.

If you happen to be bold, he'll happily have flirting sessions with you. His remarks are teasing and playful, but they can sometimes become a little possessive.

He doesn't necessarily feel the need to confess, but he will nonetheless. In private, under the stars, he'll take your hand and ask you to rule beside him.

Breaking the news to the others doesn't matter to him, but he'll be alright with keeping the relationship a secret if you really wanted to.

You'll have to make up for his lack of physical affection from the last 1000 years, so be prepared for a lot of late night snuggles. He'd only be affectionate in private, since he doesn't need anyone else knowing about his weakness: you.

When he becomes the Shaman King, he gives you the option of whether or not you want to stay with him in the Great Spirit. Though, he'd much prefer if you stayed with him.

Overall, he's infatuated with you. After years of being alone, he's grateful to have you by his side.

[misc-obeyme]

In-Game?

Okay next in the daily chat series is this one featuring Leviathan!

"But CC," you may be saying, "didn't you already post a daily chat story with Levi?"

Yes, I did a while ago. But then I deleted it. So if you saw that and were confused, I'm sorry! The problem is Levi lol. No, but seriously, I didn't like how that story turned out, so I decided to delete it and try again with a different chat. I find I sometimes have trouble writing Levi's character and honestly I think it's because his anxiety really hits close to home?? I mean, in the game, it's really not that bad. He just gets nervous sometimes when MC gets romantic and out in crowds of normies lol. But I've been dealing with anxiety (social anxiety specifically) for my entire life, so I tend to overthink it when I write a character with a similar affliction. I think I write the character's anxiety more like my own, which makes it feel too OOC to me. BUT I think I did okay this time, so here it is, attempt number two!

GN!MC x Leviathan

Warnings: none!

LEVIATHAN: Where did I go wrong? For Memory Kiss 2. Ugh, I got the bad ending.

MC: Want to replay it together?

LEVIATHAN: Sure! I just need Suzu-chan's happy ending… … and Shiro-chan's true ending. When you come, bring some drinks. Thanks!

It had all been going just fine. You had brought a few cans of devil crush super spicy mango juice to Levi's room. He had already started up the game Memory Kiss 2, prepared to play through it with you.

You just hadn't anticipated how awkward playing a dating sim together had the potential to be. Now you were sitting next to Levi on the floor of his room, blushing to your roots as the character on the screen swooned at one of your suggested dialogue options. You were both surprised that this option had worked.

Moments ago, Levi had expressed his doubt about it. "That line's just too flirty!" he said. "Suzu-chan will probably be offended that you're being so bold!"

"No way," you disagreed. "It's a great line."

"Why do you think that?" Levi asked.

"It would work on me," you said.

Levi had spluttered at you, unable to respond properly to this revelation. Despite his anxiety at what you just said, he managed to choose the dialogue option in question.

You both watch in stunned silence as Suzu-chan reacted with a multitude of little hearts.

You were embarrassed now because you actually thought Levi was right. It was an overly flirty option. But sometimes it was nice to hear something bold, something that left no room for uncertainty, something that indicated the person you were talking to wasn't just slightly interested, but actually wanted you.

The fact that this video game character seemed to agree with that assessment was pretty embarrassing.

"Y-you were right," Levi managed to say.

You cleared your throat and tried to brush it off. "Of course I was right," you said.

Levi put down his controller. He wouldn't look at you. "B-but you're nothing like Suzu-chan," he said. "And you said…"

"I know what I said," you interrupted, mostly because you didn't think you could stand it if he repeated what you had said. "Suzu-chan is a video game character, Levi. She has a programmed personality. Real people are more complicated. And I… well, I…"

Levi turned to you suddenly, grabbing both of your hands and squeezing them. He still couldn't quite look you in the eye. "Do you want me to start staying stuff like that? This sort of… Asmo-like stuff?!"

You laughed. "I don't know if I could take you seriously if you tried doing that."

Levi drooped a little. "Yeah, it would be more funny than anything, huh?"

"I just want you to be yourself, Levi," you said, watching him smile and blush at this comment.

You let go of his hands and picked up the controller. You had a feeling about what was coming next in the game, so you pressed through some of the remaining dialogue until a new set of options came up.

You selected one of the options, letting the game highlight it without actually choosing it yet. You put the controller back in Levi's hands.

"I want this from you far more than any flirty line," you said softly into his ear, leaning in close to him.

Levi froze at first, his eyes on the screen. You had highlighted the option that said only kiss me.

But then he seemed to gather up his confidence. He hit the button on the controller, choosing to kiss the character, who reacted with a sweet little kiss sound. But Levi wasn't looking at the screen anymore. The controller was abandoned on the floor as his arms circled around your waist, pulling you close.

You could tell that he was still nervous - a slight shake in his touch, the light blush on his cheeks, the way he kept his eyes closed - but he still leaned in to press his lips to yours.

Levi always started off timid, but with a little encouragement, he lost himself enough to let go of that anxiety. So you kissed him back, putting your arms around him and clutching onto his shirt as you pulled him closer to you.

Sure enough, this was all Levi needed. His response was to become needy, arms tightening around you, his movements more desperate, even a gentle nip at your bottom lip.

You pulled away just enough to whisper in his ear. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to distract you like this. What about the game?"

Levi made a low noise in his throat, half groan, half growl. "MC, for once I don't care about the game. Right now, real life is way better."

You laughed because this actually meant a lot coming from Levi. You kissed him again and he was ready for you, both of you losing yourselves in each other while Suzu-chan displayed on the screen, forgotten.

others in this series:

Mammon | Barbatos | Solomon | Lucifer | Simeon

Asmodeus | Diavolo | Beelzebub | Belphegor | Satan

masterlist | Thank you for reading!