#and like- i fucking HATE the usa but she was really scared about leaving the states to come to europe- so i was willingly to travel there to

[vanyafresita]

actually, you know what ? im glad my ex gf ghosted me, i dodged a bullet it seems

[starstruckodysseys]

hello it is time for me to bother you with my paranormal/ghost hunting/detective kids!!

incorrect quotes edition

bianca: in scooby doo, secret tunnels are always behind shelves and shit

taylor: could we not base our decisions around what does and doesn’t happen in episodes of scooby doo?

-

bianca: *beatboxing*

lillian: uh- my name’s lillian and im here to say, we’re the best ghost hunters in the usa-

*ghost makes a spooky noise*

lillian: wh-

bianca: *still beatboxing*

lillian: hang on, we have to get a response! uh- stop beatboxing!

-

taylor: wait a minute! we don’t go toward the weird, scary sound!

lillian: yeah, we do. we always do

taylor: *sighs* i really hate that about us

-

elijah: date a boy who forgives you for your past

sam: date a boy who disregards your cracker barrel arson charge

bianca: date a boy who was your accomplice in the cracker barrel arson

-

dani: i’m leaving for a few days, taylor’s in charge. i’ve left notes for each of you with instructions

lillian: mine just says “lillian, don’t”

dani: and i want you to apply that to every possible situation

-

sam: every conversation i have with you guys gets more and more absurd

elijah: you say “you guys” like you aren’t part of the group. well i’ve got news for you, pal. you’re already on the christmas card

- character descriptions under the cut this is a long ass post

anyway they were not initially for my murder mystery/etc thing i have going on in my google docs lmao

bianca’s the main character. she thinks ghosts and supernatural stuff are all complete bullshit, but she is a bored teenager with enough determination and spite that when kids start going missing, she decides she has to be the one to get to the bottom of it. also she’s bi + ace :)

lillian’s her best friend slash partner in crime slash platonic soulmate. she’s the believer to bianca’s skeptic, but she would actually kill a man to see a ghost. uh, no pun intended. she’s witty and sarcastic, but really does love her friends, even if she doesn’t show it. on top of being the number one ghost stan, she’s also the head of the newspaper club, and she’s always on the lookout for a scoop, so this is the perfect opportunity for her. she’s trans and a lesbian!!

taylor’s the other part of this detective trio but not the third friend of one thank you very much. he’s a believer, too, but more in the way that he thinks a ghost could kill him, so he’s terrified of them. he has issues with emotion, and he argues with lillian a lot, but he really is a sweetheart. when his crush makes a dare to go down to the supposedly-haunted boiler room and never returns, he pushes aside his paranormal fears and cracks down on the case. he’s trans + bi!

elijah’s a soccer star and one of the only decent popular kids… and also taylor’s crush. he’s a closet theatre nerd, too, but despite the rumors the theatre is haunted he’s a skeptic. not that that stops him from pretending to be a believer - which ends up being the thing that throws the entire school into chaos, anyway, since he’s impulsive and bold enough to risk a bet to go into the haunted boiler room, but never ends up returning. fucking loser (i love him). he’s gay!

dani’s the president of the environmental club and dear god just needs a break. she’s caring, the single braincell of the group, and nearly always tired from the ongoing shenanigans, but also always ready to lend a hand. she’s not exactly a believer, though not exactly a skeptic, either, believing that there’s no real proof either way, and she doesn’t exactly have time to think about ghosts, anyway. she’s an aroace icon!!

sam’s the school’s resident cryptid. it’s not that he isn’t there, he just lurks in the back, showing up places he probably shouldn’t be, and somehow always seems to know things. things he… shouldn’t know, really. no one knows how he does. he has a dry sense of humor - and speaking in general, really - that scares people off until you get to know him better. he’s bi!

hailey’s… not in any of these quotes and honestly not overall super important to the story (as of now), but she’s the girl’s swim team captain and student council vice president and definitely has her apples in way too many baskets. she’s a literal ray of sunshine, the absolute sweetest person you’ll ever meet, and the holder of the biggest case of comphet this world has ever seen. she’s a lesbian, if that isn’t clear enough.

[unnerving-presence]

Who has the best personal lore in dbd in your opinion?

no, i’m not gonna say whoever you think i’m gonna say just because i simp for them

LONG POST BELOW BTW. I LIKE RANTING ABOUT LORE LMAO

honestly it would have to be philip!

there’s just so much detail and and it makes you feel so bad for him yet you start to understand him more.

if you read philips lore, you’ll know that he was stuck in a nigerian civil war that him and his family had to try and constantly avoid.

pretty sure this is talking about the actual nigerian civil war that occurred in 1967 and ending in 1970. so we know he’s from around that time period, and was probably taken in his mid to late 20s it looks, so probably around 1990/2000

in his lore you get to see just how much he was traumatized from the war. for over 2 years, he had to hide from killing crews. he constantly lived in fear of him and his family being killed. he was assigned with the task of being sort of a watchman. ringing his father’s bell if he ever saw any danger.

he was also like.. really good at quick math for some reason. smart man

anyways, his parents do end up going missing, and philip does assume they are dead. here he falls asleep and that leads to his people’s slaughter. he’s even met with the guilt when one of them are still alive, asking why he didn’t warn them. it’s a living nightmare for him. he even screams for his grandmother until he physically can’t.

philip even had to join with another group, where he met fununya. here it all sort of goes downhill for him. he realizes just how fucked up everything is. for the time being he isn’t scared, but he’s angry. angry that these people are getting away with and profiting from killing other people. fununya even tries to encourage him to think positively but he’s just not having it. he wants them to suffer for what they did to his family.

a direct quote from his tome even says: “Funanya puts a hand on his shoulder. "Pray to the Angel of Mercy that we survive so that we may bear witness!" Philip stares past her at the growing night. "I'd rather pray to the Angel of Death and watch them suffer. Forgive, and be forgiven. I can't! I hate them! How can they take money to do such things?" "There will be justice, Philip. They will not get away with their crimes!" Philip doesn't say anything. He doesn't say anything because like his father he believes that those with money, those who can afford killing crews and the quantities of kerosene required to burn humans by the thousands, can get away with any crime they choose to commit - even mass murder. She can pray for mercy all she likes. He'd rather pray for vengeance."

here you can sorta see that he slightly snaps a bit. he’s tired of running, and he’s tired of the injustice.

sorta emphasizes his point by him falling asleep again while on the watch for killing crews. everybody except for fununya is dead. well.. she’s dying. philip has to take in once again that he’s fucked up. he does have to kill her himself, which sort of makes him feel worse.

after this, philip decides that he’s tired of there being no consequences for the murder of his people, and deadass goes and burns up one of the killing groups. he burns himself in the process.

if you read his basic lore, you’ll know that when he does leave nigeria into the usa, he gets a job at auto haven where he crushes cars and unknowingly also kills/crushes people in the process. his boss reveals that every car he’s crushed has had a person/corpse in it, and philip snaps. i just think it’s neat reading his new lore and then going back and reading his old one. sure, any person would be mad or horrified knowing what they’ve done, but knowing what philip has been through, knowing his trauma just makes it more interesting. philip is truly at his breaking point here, and he kills once again in a much more brutal way. here i think azarov making philip crush bodies was the entity. motivating him to finally kill again but with all the rage he has built up.

then, after he kills azarov, he gets taken by the entity.

i don’t know i just think it’s all really cool and interesting when you read it all and know what he’s gone through. probably my favorite piece of lore so far and it really makes you feel bad for philip

[wherethehellisderrymaine]

NOVEMBER WRAP UP

BOOKS: shingeki - vol. 31 al 34 - end daisy jones and the six  tokyo revengers - vol 9 al 29 -- queda el ultimo volumen el año que viene nos sale bien pedir perdon antonieta

MUSIC: i wonder - russell dickerson  box in the heart - the maine those days - nickleback  la culpa - marc segui  hood - trueno y tiago  emotional - ashe i’m a mess - avril lavigne and yngbld session vol 50 - duki santeria - sublime blind - role model  el kuelge caramelos - alan trezz remember summer days - night tempo  again - yui 

EVENTS:

1: anxious, bad mood, tired  ate “too much” and felt guilty 

2: HATE i hate myself bc i am bloated and i look fat i hate not being able to use t-shirts when it is hot bc man comment on my body and i feel weak, scared and disgusting

3: still feel like shit i hate being so emotionally unstable when i feel ugly that i have toxic thoughts and i get all jealous for no reason. i hate thinking that i am not good for my boyfriend i hate thinking getting angry when he mentions his girl friends from work. i hate that place and i hate most of the staff and i hate not being able to stop this feelings. it’s not his nor their fault, but i don’t like them and i don’t like when he tells me about them or goes out with them. i am the fucking worst I JUST HATE MY MESSED UP BRAIN 

lucho had an anxiety episode and i felt useless bc i never know what to do or what to say. he doesn’t need positive comments and he never really tells me what’s going on, so i don’t do anything and i end up feeling even worse for not being supportive.

04: still feel crappy and kinda depressed i feel like i wanna cry but i don’t get to do it. i keep all bottled up i don’t want to talk to anyone, i’m in a very dark and depressive mood and so is everone around me so i don’t let it out. i hate being a burden.

05: anxiety, but less class in the morning coffee before film - met up with lucho -- watched THE MENU went back to la baticueva , hjad lunch and sex (still feel ugly and fat but i’m trying to convince myself that i can be desired even though i’m not skinny) went to el auditorium to watch argentina, 1985, with lucho and my parents. it was lovely, my parents really liked the movie and got to leave the house for a bit. went back home with lucho, drank a wine, had some snacks and burgers from la hamburguesería, i fucking love that place - watched tokio revangers 

07: pain and bloated - still no period tired, fell asleep and we ended up not going to the cinema had sex - i dominated him, i fucking love doing that. i took my time to do what i wanted, slowly to tease him. i could die touching him

08: saw mica in lucho’s neighborhood - she lives nearby with her boyfriend. i was nice bumping into her  did the groceries with lucho and went back home mom and dad are sad and worried for Foni’s situation at usa.  i feel bloated and ugly - i just want to feel pretty and sexy again

09: lucho made me an amazing dinner

10: lovely birthday felt loved, a little tired but i had fun 

11: neck, back and head pain  bloated, fat, anxious, sad  couldn’t buy sabinas’ tickets :(

12: date night at bruder’s with my lovie

13: put up the shelves in lucho’s bedroom last night at the film festival went to see “bones and all”

15: bought lots of plants with lucho lucho decorated the shelves and the baticueva i had a class with vicky and then went to lucho’s - he’d been out with his friends but he also fetched me when i was wailking to his house and gave me lots of hugs. i adore this man with my entire soul

16: lucho bought fairy lights for his house and i’m in LOVE

22 - 27: it’s been a great long weekend but when i went back home, Lili was ill. She has cancer and she’s going to die pretty soon. I don’t feel like writing too much about it. I just want to cry and I don’t want her to suffer. I see her uncomfortable, all bloated up, not wanting to eat. There is not much we can do but wait and lov eher until the end. She isn’t “just a dog”, she is my baby and I don’t want her to leave us. 

28: cena en lo de lucho con Ro y Martin. lo pasamos re lindo. Me caen super bien los dos y les deseo lo mejor en baires 29:me desperte re descompuesta. estoy triste, quiero estar con lucho todo el diay no tener que tomar orales.  eating less and felt pretty but i have to be careful

30: partido de argentina, lo vimos en el cem. ganaron 

[palidan-sheep]

Compaions and how they are when ya go to Nuka World.

Some context- Ya just cleared out all the raiders of Nuka World and restored power since it wouldn’t be nearly as much fun if there were still raiders crawling all over the place and no power.

Cait- the acts tough but is scared of the rides one.

“That fuck ya talking bout me bein scared? I ain’t scared! I’m far from scared, those rides fear me!” Danse “we didn’t say anything?”

She forces herself to ride all the rides she can to prove she’s not scared but always feels the urge to throw up afterwards.

She’s a yeller and she’ll be holding the safety bars for dear life.

She prefers her feet to be on the solid earth rather then up in the air but hates that there isn’t much to do on the ground.

Her favorite park is Nuka Town USA but only cause it has the Nukacade.

Curie- The responsible mother figure.

“Hydration! sun screen! Don’t do that! Deacon get down from there! No cutting in line! Cait stop hitting MacCready!”

She’ll ride one ride but then that’s enough for her, she feels quiet dizzy afterwards.

She doesn’t scream or yell, she just kinda sits there and laughs here and there. She’ll put her hands up at the most random of times too.

She much rather enjoys walking and conversing around the parks and taking in the view. There’s a lot she can learn from looking around.

The Safari Adventure park is her favorite park. So much to learn plus she loves the Ghoulrilla’s! So  fascinating!

Codsworth- The responsible father figure.

“Everyone here is adults! So act like it! Mayor Hancock, sir I asked that you leave your chems back home! We are so lucky that the security here is so loose…”

He physically cannot ride any of the rides, his figure doesn’t allow for it. Though it’s not like he ever really wanted to ride any of them.

He enjoys strolling around the parks with Curie, they both will exchange stories and observations. It very cute.

His favorite park is the Galactic Zone. He may has a bias for the robots.

Danse- The ‘tries to no act amused/annoyed but is overjoyed and everyone knows it’ One.

“I can list off at least at least 10 different things I could be doing with my time right now and none of them involve being in this park.” Piper- “Shut up and get on the ride.”

He’ll state that he has no intent on riding the rides but after some ‘bullying’ and coaxing by the others he’ll ride them. It doesn’t take too much.

He’s pretty lax on the rides, he’ll laugh and yell here and there but he’ll keep his hands and arm inside the car at all times.

He’s split on what he likes more, the rides or walking around.

He enjoys the Galactic Zone for its technology, he really enjoys the Robco battles zone for some reason.

(Pre BB Danse isn’t allowed to mention the BoS and Technology in the same sentence)

Deacon- The ‘anything is possible, for the right price” One.

“Hey how much to climb the tracks?” Cait- “10 caps.” Deacon- “Alright, bet.” Codsworth- “DEACON DON’T YOU DARE! THE RIDE IS IN MOTION!”

He’s a casual rider and but one hell of a park goer, so he’ll do the rides a couple times and then he’ll be all about collecting the medallions and the secret cappy clues and all the park souvenirs.

oh boys he’s a screamer but then forced and ironically type of screamer. He’s also very eccentric with his body on rides.

Prefers walking around and collecting things.

Ironically, Kiddie Kingdom.

Hancock- The Stoned Teenager.

“Relax Cod’s, I haven’t don’t any of it yet.” Codsworth- *unintelligible rambling* Hancock- “sounds like you did some jet.”

He’s a casual amusement park goer, rides the rides, enjoys the attractions. Definitely has his wore then Nuka-Girl space costume while high. Piper has the picks.

He yells and laughs on the rides.

Prefers the rides more then the parks so like a 55/45z

Favorite parker is Nuka Town USA.

MacCready- The Child.

“Would y’all hurry up? We’re wasting valuable time here? I want to hit Galatic first then Dry Rock, We can just forgot about Kiddie Kingdom by the way, place is for losers.” Deacon- “Hey!”

The song ‘Welcome to the Internet’ by Bo Burnham juts suits him. Specially the part where it goes “Could I interest you in everything?All of the time? A little bit of everything, All of the time, Apathy's a tragedy And boredom is a crime. Anything and everything. All of the time”

He screams, like a little girl.

Rides, 100% rides.

Favorite park is Dry Rock Gulch, mad mulligan’s mine reminds him a lot of his old home.

Nick- The master of arcade machines.

“Rides haven’t ever been my thing, now pinball? Whack-a-commie? Skeball? That’s more of my style, their fun to tinker with too.”

He’ll give each ride a shot and then off to the NukaCade he goes.

He laughs on the rides, keeps all his limbs inside the car too.

Rather have his feet on the ground and next to a ticket-spewing machine. He has all the prizes but gives them all to Deacon.

He really adores Dry Rock Gulch and the whole western theme. Him and MacCready often take part in doing Sheriff Eagles draw challenge. Mac is winning by 1 point more then Nick.

Piper- The takes pictures every single moment Aunt.

“There use to be machines that would snap a photo of you right when tracks would drop, that’s some serious blackmail right there!”

She ride a few rides here and there but would much rather prefer going around the park and snapping photos of the wolrd and her friends.

She’s a yeller and hand must go up in the air.

She pretty split too but it’s more like. 40/60 ratio of what she likes more. 40 for the rides, 60 for the ground.

She likes the charm of Kiddie Kingdom, she wants to bring Nat along one day thinking that Nat would also like the place.

Preston- The one who wants to ride all the rides, again.

“Hey I’m going to go again? Anyone wanna tag along?” MacCready- “Preston this is the 5th time already! How????”

Any chance he gets, he’ll be on a ride.

He’s very enthusiastic about the rides, let’s say that.

100% would rather be on the rides, they kidna remind him of a vertabrid.

Likes the Galactic Zone. Pretty colors and lights!

X6- The killjoy.

“This is pointless and a waste of time, I suggest we leave.” Piper- “Me listening to you is a waste of time, already leaving”

He won’t ride any of the rides except for the World of Refreshment ride.

No one can convince him or force him on any of the rides, man’s stubborn as hell.

Prefers to walk around the parks.

His favorite ‘park’ is the Nuka- Cola Bottling Plant, a lot to learn there.

(He’s not allowed to mention the institute and technology in the same sentence)

[holdmyhopeinyourhands]

I apologize for the mistakes, I translate through a translator because I can’t adequately think in English right now. I am writing to you because I have been following you for a very long time and I share many of your thoughts, and I really do not know what else I can do. I'm from Russia and I'm really scared of what's going on. we don't decide anything. If we go out to peaceful rallies, we are arrested and this is not just some kind of fine. We are put in jail for our opinion. And our government spat on the fact that according to the constitution we can do it. We're just fucking puppets in the hands of our government, they do what they want without worrying about our lives. In foreign media (although even in the Russian media it is promoted) they write that the majority of Russian people want this war, but in reality this is not so. The world should be against the Russian government, not against the civilian population. Yes, there are people who want this war, but this is such a small number, mainly the old generation that wants to recreate the USSR. People understand the implications of this. Many of our silebrites who spoke out against the war have now cut off the oxygen. We have a TV program called "Evening Urgant" that's like in the USA "The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon" the presenter of this show spoke out against the war and this show just stopped being shown on TV, and there are still a lot of such cases. We have no opposition in the country. They created an illusion, but in reality they are the same people of Putin pretending that they are oppositionists. They seriously tried to kill their only oppositionist, who brought at least a little hope to the Russian people for a truthful government. When we had rallies in support of Novalny in our country, many people were imprisoned, some were raped, and others were beaten to a pulp. And now when people write that the Russian people do nothing against the war, we are just super intimidated. For example, my mother is against the war and she wanted to go to the rally, but he understands that if something happens to her, then her children will be left without parents, and she understands that if she does not go out and do nothing, but in the other hand Ukrainian families will be in danger. It's just a whirlpool of horror. We are really afraid. Hell, we can't even choose our government. Most of the votes are simply rigged. On the other hand, our mentality also plays a role. Now I go to the Internet and see that they hate me as a Russian for my government, which decided that it was necessary to untie all this. Peaceful Russian people are now hated, we are rotten at the universities of the Czech Republic (the situation of my brother), we are not allowed into cafes in Germany, we are not given visas to leave our country once and for all, just because we are Russians. Ukraine needs huge support right now, and we are very worried about this terrible war. But please understand that this war was unleashed by our government, not by the civilian population, which does not solve anything in the Russian Federation. We are simply powerless. If we say at least something in support of Ukraine, we will be imprisoned for 20 years. Our government made such a statement yesterday. But the worst thing is that all the sanctions that are imposed against Russia are doing better to our government. Now all products will be made in Russia, many people will not be able to exchange currency, and this is just a dream for our government, because all the money will be in the state, also we can only buy shares of Russian companies, which again is great for our businessmen. But just awful for ordinary people. Please don't forget about ordinary people who don't want this won, who just want a peaceful life for all people. Please don't believe everything the media says. Seeing how ordinary people are insulted for being simply intimidated is terrible. Of course, it's not as bad as what's happening in Ukraine, but we just can't do anything. The Russian government is not peaceful Russian people.

I haven't been on tumblr these past few days because of too much shit going on in my life but I thought it important for me to answer this so here I am.

I have honestly nothing else to add to this because I feel for you and I feel for all the russian citizens who are not for this war but have no power to stop it. We all burn for Ukraine. We all want this war crime Putin is carrying out to stop and we all want him to either be tried for his crimes or just die but we should also know even as we support and scream for Ukraine to prosper and to survive and to not lose their country, we should also pray for the people of Russia that don't want this. Those that go and protest despite knowing they're putting their lives in danger. Those that are imprisoned for voicing their opposition and those that want to stand up but are crippled with fear of being murdered by their own government.

It's easy to say "stand up against authoritative government" but it's a whole other ball game to actually believe the average citizens of Russia have the power to change much of anything even if they want to. I honestly don't remember the last time an authoritative government has been taken down by the citizens in the last 100 years and that's a bleak fucked up reality.

At this point the only thing that can stop putin's evil bitchass is the people around him suffering enough from the sanctions that they realize they're better off without him. Or a military coup.

I'm sorry hon. I'm sorry your president is an evil psychopath and the people of Ukraine and the russian people are suffering because of it. I pray he is taken down soon, Ukraine come out victorious and you the russian people see better days under better government.

War is an ugly, horried thing (especially when one side has a fucked up government with an even more fucked up president) and it's always the average innocent people that suffer for it. Hang in there.

I stand with Ukraine but I also stand with the innocent citizens of Russia.

[horrorslashergirl]

The Crack of the Past. A Hacker Fic

WARNING: 18+ ANGSTY AND SENSITIVE THEMES AHEAD. DISTURBING THOUGHTS OF A CERTAIN CHARACTER.

It was earlier in the morning and the Rivera residence was very quiet, the father of the family was like 90% of the time at work, because when you work for the New York Police, you don't really get too many free days and the mother of the house? Like always.... absent. That left Xander to have all the time and privacy to do his work.

Sitting at the table in the kitchen with the laptop in front of him, his headphones around his neck, grey eyes were focused on the screen; grey eyes narrowing, a glint of victory in them as he looked at the man in a hotel room with a girl who was probably half his age. The said man had an average company in New York City and had a habit of telling his wife that he had to do 'extra hours', these extra hours of work happening into luxurious hotel rooms.

Xander couldn't believe what an idiot this man was, leaving his laptop open and turned on; hacking into the webcam was a piece of cake, and recording everything that was happening even easier. Now all the 'Hacker' had to do was sit back and wait for them to finish then send this old geezer an anonymous email of how he knew his dirty secret and how his wife will find out about it if he won't send 20,000$ into the bitcoin wallet.

Taking a sip of his coffee, Xander closed his eyes for a moment, feeling the sleepless night get to him a little.

"What are you doing?" the voice of his sister broke his train of thoughts for a bit, but he still didn't open his eyes.

"Nothing interesting like always." Xander simply replied, taking another sip of his coffee, basking into the bittersweet taste that runs through his system.

Not hearing Chloe say anything, grey eyes looked up, only to widen slightly as he took into the tears-filled eyes of his sister, tears that slowly run down her rosy cheeks. This image made Xander swallow hard, feeling like he was swallowing acidic needles and he could only guess what was the cause of this situation with his little sister.

"Mom didn't come to my birthday party." Chloe's choked-out voice made Xander's jaw tense, running his fingers through his spikey black hair, he didn't know what to say.

Chloe was the sensitive and dreamy sibling, while Xander was the logical and realistic one. Yesterday night it was Chloe's birthday and he had expected for their 'whore' of a mother to not come because he was busy with that asshole who could give her more into the materialistic department than their father.

"Why, big brother? Why isn't she coming back?" the little girl asked him, her bottom lip trembling, her long black hair coming in front of her face, hiding her shiny blue eyes, eyes that didn't sparkle like they used to.

"People change, Chloe." That was what Xander could say, without sounding like a complete detached asshole, only for his sister he would be like this, more diplomatic.

"But why?" another why he couldn't find a proper answer for the soft-spoken girl.

Not knowing what to say, Xander opened his arms and gave her a soft look.

"Come here." he whispered, making his little sister jump into his arms and bury her face into his chest, squeezing him tightly, like she was afraid he would disappear too.

Holding his sister, his grey eyes looked at the screen of his laptop, Chloe's back turned to the screen, Xander read over the new email he received.

'The online drug store is a success. I know you have a good drug provider, but don't you want to grow up on the scale? I am willing to make you an offer you won't be able to refuse Blue Rain.' -NarcoManiacs

Closing his laptop, Xander held Chloe close to his chest, rocking her back and forth like she was a baby, and he remembered the first time he saw her when he found out he was gonna be a big brother. They were better days back then.

When their parents were happy together and nothing seemed that it would change and that scared Xander now more; people change so much. Families broke apart, friendships and relationships aren't eternal and can vanish in a blink of an eye. He wondered what was the point? What was the point of falling in love? Only to be thrown away later when the feelings burn to ashes?

"I'm scared, brother." Chloe sobbed, her small body shaking in his lap and Xander rested his chin on top of her head, shushing and rubbing her back softly, trying to be the rock of this family that wasn't a family any longer.

"We have to go to school." he simply spoke, making his sister pull away, rubbing any more tears from her eyes, she nodded, trying to stay strong, but it was obvious she was slowly breaking, like a porcelain doll to be crushed into the heavy boot of reality.

Running his fingers through her long, lustrous, and thick hair, trying to detangle it, he gazed into her eyes.

"Want me to put your hair into two pigtails?" Xander asked his sister, who gave him a small smile, nodding, getting off his lap, and bringing him a comb and a few hair bands.

Xander remembered how his mother used to do his sister's hair, and he had to swallow the lump forming in his throat, feeling like a vein was gonna explode into his head, his temper starting to boil, getting into overdrive, but he forced himself to stay calm and collected.

'The nerve of that fucking slut... Leaving just like that... Couldn't keep her legs closed even if her life depended on it.' Xander thought with pure hate, his fingers twitching as he brushed Chloe's hair, a deep dark need to choke the life out of his mother overcoming him.

These kinds of thoughts had plagued his mind for a while and with each day they got more intense; a child should feel love and warmness for their mother, but Xander only felt pure rage for the one that gave him life, but it wasn't enough to make him forgive her.

100 men could rape her and Xander would never feel a glimpse of remorse or sadness for that woman.

In his grey eyes that slowly started to belong to a madman, that woman could drop fucking dead.

"All done." Xander said, putting the comb down on the table. Chole turned around to smile wide at him, kissing his forehead and hugging him tight.

"Thank you, Xander... Thank you for being here with me." she said, her long ash pigtail bouncing with every move.

"Anytime, little snail." Xander said with a smirk, making Chloe stick her tongue out at him.

"Go upstairs and get ready for school... I am gonna take you there." he told his sister, making her nod eagerly and hurry upstairs, leaving Xander all alone in the kitchen.

Sighing, he took a sip of his almost finished coffee, when a notification sound pulled him out of his thoughts. Opening his laptop, the black-haired male read over another message.

'I am talking about making this online drug store one of the biggest in USA... and maybe internationally in Europe.' -NarcoManiacs

Cracking his neck and knuckles, Xander took a deep breath.

'I am listening.' -BlueRain

[hana-bean]

Close to you (7/7)

And I will walk on again To meet you

---

Rei trudged to her closed bedroom door, her eyes halfway open and hair disheveled due to the incessant knocking waking her up at the ungodly hour of nine AM.

She opened the door to a panicked and out-of-breath Serenity.

“I’m pregnant.”

“Really?” Rei yawned. “That’s great, Serenity—”

“It might be Seiya’s.”

That statement made for the best wake-up call, causing her violet eyes to widen. “What?”

Serenity barreled over Rei to get inside the room and pace in a distressed sweat. The latter closed the door then placed her hands on her hips to process the news.

“Are you sure about that, Serenity?”

“No… not really. But I mean, Mamo and I have tried for four years and nothing. But then I sleep with Seiya and then, boom, it happens!”

“How many times have you done it with Seiya?”

“Just once. It’s been busy lately for me and on top of that, they’re still looking for their princess.”

Rei tutted. “The burner didn’t come through, huh?”

“Not at the moment.”

“So you only did it with him once and you’ve been with Endymion a few times since he’s been back, yes?”

Serenity nodded.

She bobbed her head while shrugging. “Well, I’m no rocket surgeon, but I would bet the law of statistics says it’s most likely Endymion’s.”

“I do feel Chibi-Usa’s energy…” Biting her lip, Serenity rubbed her flat stomach.

“There you go!” Rei perked up. “Chibi-Usa is definitely yours and Endymion’s daughter, so you're in the clear!”

Looking away almost shamefully, Serenity hugged herself. “Well… maybe.”

“What do you mean, ‘maybe?’” She shook her head, anticipating an explanation.

“I saw a picture of Seiya’s mother a while ago. She had pink hair and red eyes, just like Chibi-Usa. She reminded me so much of her, but I was too dumb and horny to think to connect any dots.”

“That’s totally a coincidence!” Rei waved a dismissive hand. “It’s a huge universe out there. There are lots of people with that color combination.”

“But for his mother to have that exact combination that Chibi-Usa has? We all know she didn’t get it from me or Mamo!”

“Serenity,” Rei approached her best friend, resting her hands on her shoulders. “You have nothing to worry about. Chibi-Usa is yours and Endymion’s child, you both were destined to have her. The whole destiny energy around you would ensure that happens.”

“But how do we know Seiya wasn’t part of destiny?” The queen stared Rei deep and desperately in her eyes. “We didn’t get to see much when we went to the future back then, just that time when the Black Moon invaded. We only knew what Pluto and Chibi-Usa showed us. There was basically a whole eternity before and after we didn’t see.”

Rei opened her mouth to debate, but then her brain stopped her so it could dwell on that statement.

“Shit, you’re right. Maybe she is Seiya’s.”

“Fuck! Don’t tell me that!” Serenity groaned and resumed her pacing.

“It’s okay!” Wanting to eat her words, she grabbed handfuls of her dark hair by her scalp. “I mean if it is Chibi-Usa that comes out, nothing will be questioned. You’re positive it is her?”

Her highness nodded, her hand rubbing her stomach again. “I don’t know how I know, it just feels like her.”

“Good. Technically everything is going to plan. So stop stressing—the baby doesn’t need it, you don’t need it, and I don’t need it.”

“I just worry about Mamo finding out that she’s not his.”

“Well, it was destiny, wasn’t it? Whether or not she is Seiya’s, it was supposed to happen. Endymion can’t argue with that.”

“He would be so heartbroken…” Serenity sniffled as tears began to form.

“But we don’t know that yet. She could still be his.” Rei approached her once again, wrapping her arms around her shoulders in a supportive hug. “I hate that you’re so stressed out. This is supposed to be a happy moment. Chibi-Usa will finally be born like you’ve been wanting for so long.”

“I know,” she sobbed as she returned the embrace. “And I am happy, I just started thinking and—”

“No, no, none of that. No more thinking.” Rei patted her blonde head. “Everything is happening as it should. Chibi-Usa is in you as it was supposed to happen. So the only thing you should be thinking about is keeping yourself healthy and relaxed for the next nine months.”

“Right… you’re right.”

“Yes, I know I'm right.” Rei pulled away to look into Serenity’s face with a smile. “Trust in destiny. She will not lead you astray, and She hasn’t.”

---

---

Serenity turned around from her position at the nursery window after she heard a soft knock.

“Come in.”

Star Fighter slipped in, quietly closing the door as she kept her eyes on her queen.

“Is she awake?” She whispered.

“Yes,” Serenity turned around to reveal herself holding a bundled month-old infant. “She’s been squirming a bit.”

With an open-mouth smile, while removing her leather gloves, Fighter crept up to the pair and stroked the pink fuzz atop Chibi-Usa’s head with her fingertip.

“She’s so cute and small,” she squeaked with twinkling eyes. “But she has grown a lot since she was born.”

“Did you want to hold her?”

“Yes. Give me the nugget.” Fighter immediately grabbed for the bundle and rested her on her chest, giving her head and cheek multiple kisses all the while.

“How was the trip?”

“Long.” Fighter rolled her eyes. “Uranus and Neptune got in a tiff and then Uranus and Healer did, and then couldn’t be in the same room together… it was a mess.”

“Any sign of your princess?”

She shook her head while twisting her mouth in disillusionment.

Serenity sighed. “I’m sorry, Fighter. I thought for sure we found her with the burner Mamo found.”

“Me too. What probably happened is that the castle was looted and people sold or traded it.”

“But you said you felt her energy…”

“Well, stars leave a trail and what I felt could have been and most likely was residual energy. The burner was definitely hers and she’s definitely been in it, so it makes sense.”

The queen rubbed her hand down from her neck to her shoulder. “I was hoping she was just really shy.”

Fighter smiled. “She is quite reserved but she would have shown herself by now.” She then began pacing the room as she rubbed baby Chibi-Usa’s back.

“Oh wait, Fighter!” Her first-baby neuroses came out as she apologetically spoke her request. “Could you take off your boots before walking with her? Your heels are pretty tall and I don’t want anything to happen…”

“Yes, of course…!” The guardian looked around. “Did you want me to give her back to you while I do that or…?”

“Actually, sit down and I’ll take them off for you,” Serenity beamed.

“Thanks, Odango.” She located the nursing chair by the bassinet, being extra careful in her steps, and took her seat.

Serenity sat on her knees, slowly pulling down the zippers of Fighter’s boots and removing them, revealing her over-the-knee trouser socks.

“Ooh, these are sassy,” she traced the hems around her lower thighs with a giggle. Fighter blushed, trying hard to suppress her ticklishness.

The queen then turned her gentle grazing into gentle massages, resting her head on the guardian’s lap as her hand moved down her calf.

“The DNA results came in last week.”

“Really?” Fighter’s stomach couldn’t help but drop.

Serenity nodded and pointed. “Yes, they’re on the desk.”

She looked over in the direction of her finger, finally noticing a white envelope sitting open in the middle of the table. Her nervousness formed a lump inside her throat in which she tried to gulp down.

“What did it say?”

Her highness turned her head to rest her chin on Fighter’s thigh, a smile curled on her face.

“Congratulations. You’re a father.”

Fighter didn’t know how to react, or which emotion to show, for she was both excited and scared. Though she was overall touched by the fact she helped create this new bundle of life sleeping on her chest, and she placed a small kiss on Chibi-Usa’s head while a silent tear escaped down her cheek.

“That makes me so happy,” she sniffled.

Serenity kissed her knee. “It only means that you were meant to be here. Out of all the planets in the universe, you were meant to come here… and get in that bar fight… just for me to find you.”

Fighter laughed through the waterfalls of joy while squeezing Serenity’s hand.

For several moments, both women sat in silence, rubbing hands, legs, and feet and giving more gentle kisses to the sleeping Chibi-Usa. Eventually, Fighter stood up and placed her in the bassinet before walking over to the desk to grab the envelope. She removed the paper from inside and studied its contents for a couple of moments.

Serenity was confused initially to then see Fighter saunter toward a lit candle on the mantel and set the paper on fire before tossing it in the empty fireplace. The guardian never took her eyes away from the burning document, even as the queen joined her, hugging her waist from behind.

“I hope you know I plan for you to still be a part of Chibi-Usa’s life.”

"I know,” Fighter grabbed Serenity’s hand. “And I will. That baby will have lots of love.”

Serenity reached around Fighter to turn her around to face her, then gently grabbed her jaw to steady herself for their lips to meet.

“Thank you, Seiya. You’ve given me the most wonderful gift.”

Fighter chuckled, snaking her arms around the royal waist and bringing her closer for more kissing. “Did you want to make another one?”

“No.” She stated the complete sentence with a hundred percent seriousness. “But I thought we could maybe have our fun with you like this…” She palmed her breast as her thumb grazed the blue outline of her bra while she placed small pecks along her neck. “Way less risk.”

“Are you… okay with me like this?”

“Of course." She kissed her ear. "You’re still you, and it’s the real you.”

As Fighter’s heart melted, filling her whole body with warmth, she smiled before taking the queen’s lips captive with hers.

--

--

Fuck yeah, we’re done! Hope y’all enjoyed it!! I love you all!! Happy SeiUsa week 2021! Wooowowowowoo! Rock 'n' roll!!

[crashdevlin]

Jump The Shark

Author’s Note: This is part nineteen of The Best Laid Plans series

Summary: When John gets a call from the youngest son he never got to meet, Y/n goes with him to find out what happened to the one-night stand John had back in 1990.

Pairing: Alpha!John x Omega!Reader

Word count: 3597

Story Warnings: angst...A/B/O dynamics, canon divergence, angst, mentions of physical violence, mentions of mindfuckery, mentions of ferality, pining, did I mention angst?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You hadn't said anything. Not from the moment you and John found the truck. You climbed up into the cab and changed into jeans, a black and green plaid flannel and a pair of hiking boots. You dropped your suit skirt and blouse out the window going 80 down the interstate, and then you closed your eyes and listened to the Rolling Stones.

You had to open your eyes when your memories started attacking you.

Dean had been so sure that you were the one he wanted, the one he was looking for...but that was Dean Smith and Y/n Colt. That was a Stanford MBA and a former Miss Teen USA runner-up. The idea that he wanted to mark you was particularly hurtful and you were kinda glad you made him wait because you weren't sure if it would have reset like the first mark Sam gave you and the last thing you wanted was for Dean to be tethered to you when he could barely stand to be around you.

He only wanted you because he was someone else. He was someone else, but his soul was still stuck on you. You both felt that pull because you were connected but he didn't want you. Smith liked Colt, but Winchester would never love Y/l/n.

John just drove. It was obvious he had no destination in mind, he just pointed the truck West and drove. Part of you wished that he would go back to Mississippi but you knew that your semi-normal was gone...and it was better. You were a hunter and so were your alphas. No normal for you.

"It hit her hard, Sammy," you heard John whispering as he drove when you woke up a few hours into Missouri. "She hasn’t been that close with your brother in years and the fact that it was all fake is killing her."

A pang of sadness hit you as your brain called forth what John was talking about. The haze of sleep had taken the memory, but now it was clear why your heart felt like so many broken pieces shoved into a box in your chest.

"Yeah, we know that but he won't say it and she probably wouldn't be able to hear it now anyway." John sighed as Sam spoke through the phone. "Son, I don't know what we can do other than what we always do. If you need help, just call, but she definitely doesn't need to be around your brother for a while. All right. Keep me updated," John said before setting his phone on the dashboard. "I know you’re awake, 'mega. Can't fool me."

"Wasn't trying to fool you. Just letting you finish your conversation," you responded, sitting up and stretching as best as you could in the truck cab. "What'd Sam want?"

"Tell me that the whole deal in Cincinnati was the Angels fucking with us. Specifically fucking with Dean. They wanted to prove to him that he was always supposed to be a Hunter or something."

"And we just got pulled along for the ride? That was nice of them." You rolled your eyes and reached down for your purse, pulling out a travel mouthwash. "So, what, everything's dandy now?" you asked as you took a drink of the mint liquid, swished it around in your mouth and swallowed.

"You know, you're supposed to spit that out, right?"

"Only quitters spit," you said automatically. You ran your hand across your face as you dropped the bottle to the floorboard. Dirty jokes Dean told you as a teen were not what you needed to get out of your funk. “I’ve put worse things in my body.”

“Girl, we...we’ll get through this.”

“Not like we have a lot of options, right?” You licked your lips and shook your head. “I’m fine, John. I slept. I’m better. I’m fine.”

“When are you gonna learn that it’s useless to lie to me?” John asked.

“I’m sure it’ll sink in eventually,” you responded, chuckling. “I promise...I’m going to be fine.”

“I know you will,” John said, reaching over to pat your knee.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few weeks passed and you were getting better at putting it behind you. The might’ve-beens dragged up by the Angels in Cincinnati were slowly being pushed back into the recesses of your mind and you were feeling better. Sam emailed John to tell him about some jerk in Ohio writing books about the boys’ lives, someone Castiel revealed to be a Prophet of the Lord who was writing The Winchester Gospels. There were books about the boys’ lives, their actions, their innermost thoughts, just hanging out on bookshelves around the world. You wondered if you were in any of the stories, the gospels.

John’s secondary cell phone went off as you pulled the truck into the parking lot of a coffee shop and he frowned as he looked down at the screen before he answered, “Hello?” A beat of time as you parked the truck and turned to him. “He’s not available. Can I help you?” He had a severe look on his face and you shook your head at him, confused by his reaction to the call. “What’d you say your name was? Milligan...and, uh, what are you callin’ John for?”

He made a fist and hammered it into his forehead. “Right, well, uh, I hate to have to tell you this over the phone but John is dead. He died in 2001.” Your eyes went wide and John put a finger up to quiet you before you could even start to question. “If you need help, then I can meet with you, kid. I’m, uh, John Winchester’s son, Dean. Windom, Minnesota. Cousin Oliver Café. We’ll be there tomorrow at 8am. See ya then, kid.”

“What the fuck, John?!” you exclaimed when he ended the call.

“Fuck.” He scratches his fingernails across his forehead and sighs as he sets the phone on the dash. “I recognized the area code, knew it was Missouri, thought it might have something to do with...with this case I had around January 1990. Anybody I interacted with back then, they would’ve known me before I got hit with that hex. So, that’s why I answered the phone like that and I’m glad I did because...because the kid on the other end of the phone is…” He trailed off and you gave him a pointed look.

“The kid on the other end of the phone is what?”

“My youngest son, Adam.”

Your eyes went wide, confusion and anger filling your body. “Your what?”

“I told you...I told you that I had one dalliance before you after Mary died, remember? When I was on that ghoul hunt and I went into rut and I-I was almost feral and I had one night where I couldn’t fuckin’ control myself and-”

“You knocked her up with pups?” you whispered. For some reason, it hurt a lot more than it should, especially considering you were only seven years old at the time.

“Only one. Adam.” He shook his head at himself. “She never told me. I didn’t know anything about it until 2001...and by then…by the time Adam called the first time, I was a young man again. I couldn’t show up looking like a twenty-five year old and start a relationship with the boy. So I just never called him back, kinda put him on the back burner. I figured I’d go see him when we found the witch and fixed me but I never found the witch and-”

“So, why’s he calling again now?” you asked, trying to be understanding. It wasn’t John’s fault. He should have told you. He should have told his other sons, but he couldn’t do anything about it now.

“His mom, Kate, is missing.”

“And he called you because?” you asked.

“Because the cops aren’t worried and his mom told him to try to get a hold of me if anything weird ever happened. She knew about the hunting.”

“So, your plan is to...pretend to be your oldest son and go meet your youngest son for the first time and try to find his missing mother...who most probably is just normal-missing, not supernatural-missing?” you asked, cautious of your tone.

“I can drop you somewhere if you don’t wanna participate in this, girl,” he said, biting his bottom lip.

“No,” you responded vehemently. “You don’t get to leave me behind, Winchester. Not ever again, remember?”

“Okay, then I’m gonna need you to back me on this and you’re going to have to call me ‘Dean’.”

You nodded. “I can do that.” You weren’t sure you wanted to, but you’d do it for him.

“Thank you, darlin’.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

John was nervous. You could smell it in his scent. You leaned into his shoulder as you sat in the booth, trying to calm him with your own scent. You kept your head on his shoulder as he switched a glass of water out with a glass of holy water and set a trio of silverware on the opposite side of the table. “Just in case.”

“You really think-”

“I looked into him, ya know? Kid did real good without me in his life,” John said suddenly. “He’s real and he’s smart and he never had anything to do with this life. I’m scared it bled onto him anyway.”

You sighed and leaned up to press a kiss to his temple as the door opened and a tall, thin young man walked into the diner. He looked like a mix of Sam and Dean. “That’s him,” you whispered, recognizing him from the Facebook profile.

John, or rather ‘Dean’, stood and waved at the boy.

“Dean?” Adam asked, walking over. John nodded. The boy laughed. “Wow, you look just like the picture my mom had of-of John. You’re almost the spitting image of him.” He let out a scoff as he sat down, his eyes moving to you. “Who’s this?”

“My omega,” John said, a bit defensively.

“Y/n,” you said, offering your hand to him.

Adam took it with a smile. “Wow.”

You felt a cringe move through your body and you looked down. “What?”

“I just…” Adam cleared his throat. “There’s not a lot of omegas in Windom and none are as pretty as you.”

Another Winchester flirting with you was sending all sorts of bad signals through your body. You softly tugged your hand back and sat back down as Adam settled into the opposite side of the booth and picked up the water. You held your breath when he took a drink but the water went down easy so you relaxed a bit.

But not much.

He smelled wrong. John was lavender and orange and ylang ylang, Dean was lavender and honeysuckle and anise, Sam was vanilla and coffee and undercurrents of honeysuckle when he was in rut. Adam smelled like dirt.

Not grass and forest and mossy logs, dirt. Just dirt. He didn’t even have a secondary scent to him, no undercurrent or complementary smell. Just dirt.

There should have been some part of him that smelled like a Winchester, even if he wasn’t the same makeup of a Winchester as the ones you knew. He shouldn’t smell like that.

Adam didn’t seem to notice your musing or your deep breaths to try and find something else in his scent. He went off on a tangent as he ate his breakfast about how John and Kate met in the emergency room at the hospital room where she works and he went into rut after he got hurt and Adam tried to get a hold of John when he was a kid and John just never picked up the phone and he’s glad that ‘Dean’ answered the phone this time.

“At least I know why he didn’t answer when I was calling before. So, uh, what happened to John?”

“Heart attack,” John responded. “It was sudden.”

“Right, guess that makes sense. Heart disease is the number one killer of men his age in the US,” Adam said.

Your eyes focused on the silverware in the man’s fists. Not a shifter either then. But this was something. This was not a Winchester.

“Well, after we get done eating, why don’t you take us to the house and we’ll see if we can’t find something to tell us where your mom got to,” John offered.

“Thanks, Dean,” Adam said with a smile.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"He didn't react to silver or holy water," John argued as he followed Adam's car down the road.

"So? There's plenty of things that can alter people's perception of them that don't react to silver or holy water! Rakshasas, sirens, djinns, ghouls, do I need to go on?" you argued back. "He smells like dirt, John. That is not-"

"Maybe that's just-"

"What'd his mother smell like?" you interrupted.

"Passion fruit...and something else I can't remember."

"Not dirt. He shouldn't smell like that. He's not your son."

John sighed and scratched at his chin. "You might be right. He should smell more like one of us. He doesn't even smell like an alpha, honestly, but...if he's not Adam, then where the hell is Adam? And where's Kate? And why the fuck would whatever he is try to get me out here?"

"I don't know."

"Me either. For now, let's focus on finding Kate and we'll go from there." You held in a groan and focused out the windshield. "I know, 'mega. I'm just...I got this feeling...I lost my opportunity to be a part of this boy's life because of that witch."

"And that’s terrible, John...but you wouldn't have me if it wasn't for that witch so…"

“I’m not sayin’ I regret it, sweetheart, I just...wish I could have...met him once before I went after that bitch.”

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, biting your thumbnail. “Sometimes I wish things were different, too.”

“You wish I never came over when you were going into that first heat,” he guessed.

You swallowed, but you didn’t answer. The truth was, you had thought through a lot of different wishes and butterfly-effect ripples of how it would change everything. If John didn’t show up, you wouldn’t be a hunter. If Dean hadn’t pushed you to let Sam take you when those apple-pie assholes put you in heat, you would have just been Dean’s. If you never sold your soul for Dean, you might have been able to move on, find another alpha...a non-Winchester.

“I don't think I'd be myself if you hadn't shown up,” you answered eventually. “I'd have stayed stuck at Bobby's, never ended up with an alpha let alone two, and I would be dying from never getting a knot in a few years' time...it’s better you did.”

"I'm...glad I did, Y/n. I like the woman you are, the strong and beautiful omega you are.”

You smiled and your cheeks heated up at the praise. “Let’s just get this done, huh?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You weren’t exactly happy that you were the one who had to crawl through the vents but Adam said, and John fucking agreed, that you were smallest and therefor the best choice. When you found the blood and pieces of skull and blond hair, you were happy to be small enough to pull your phone out of your pocket and text the news to John so he could break the news before you crawled back out.

“Call the cops. We gotta get out of here, though,” John said as he offered you a hand to help you up out of the vent.

“Wait, but-” Adam started to argue.

“We don’t mix with cops,” you responded, before stomping away from them, roughly brushing dust off of your jeans and shirt. “Come on, J-Dean. Let’s get out of here.”

“You don’t mix with-” Adam started to argue, but you pushed past him and stomped out to John’s truck.

“There was no surprise in his scent. There was no anger or sadness. I’ve lost both parents, John, there should have been-”

“Maybe he’s numb or-”

“Maybe he’s made of dirt or something!” you snapped. “That is not-”

“He hasn’t done anything wrong yet, ‘mega.”

You shook your head. “Yeah. Yet. You know what, John? I’m gonna go ahead and look into things that could be pretending to be your illegitimate pup.”

You barely looked at him as you got out of the truck and headed inside to start researching. When Adam showed up to find out what was going on with his missing mother and you and ‘Dean’ leaving before the cops showed up and “what the hell?!” John decided to explain about hunting as simply as he could. He didn’t explain who he really was, though. And then John decided to take Adam to explore other options of finding Kate.

It was a couple hours later that you came across a mention in an online lore forum that said ghouls, while normally scavengers who feast on dead flesh, could actually eat living specimens and have been shown to greatly enjoy fresh human meat and blood...and just like feasting on the dead, the ghoul can take the visage of their victim and their memories.

“Didn’t John say that’s what he was after when he was here before?” you whispered to yourself as you picked up your cell phone and dialed John’s number. It rang through until it went to voicemail. You called again. It went to voicemail again.

Panic fell over you. Your alpha was in trouble. Your alpha was in trouble and you had no idea where he was.

“Fuck!” You were almost shaking as you stood up and looked around aimlessly. What could you do? Another string of expletives fell from your mouth before you forced yourself to focus. You took a deep breath and closed your eyes. Your soul was connected to him. You needed to find him.

It only took a flash. A flash of the dining room at Kate’s house, John tied to the table had you grabbing the keys to John’s truck and rushing for your alpha. You pushed that truck as fast as it would go to get it to the house on the outskirts of Windom. The truck tires screeched as you slid to a stop in the front yard. You grabbed your shotgun from the rack in the truck bed and ran into the house.

John was tied to the table, ‘Adam’ and ‘Kate’ standing over him as he bled from his wrists. “Y/n,” he groaned. “They’re ghouls!”

“I know!” you snapped, aiming at Adam’s head and shooting. Parts of his head exploded onto the wall behind him and Kate shrieked before running at you. You moved to pump the shotgun for a second shot, but Kate grabbed you and tossed you into the wall like you were nothing.

“Y/n!”

“I’m fine, John!” you shouted, rolling onto your hands and knees.

“John?” Kate spat out, her tone dripping with poison.

“Forgot to mention before you started draining me,” John groaned. “I’m the one who killed your daddy, sweetheart.”

“Witches are better than plastic surgery, bitch,” you said, sweeping the woman’s leg with your foot. She fell to the floor and you jumped up, grabbing the shotgun and shooting her in the head, too. You licked your lips and panted as you limped over to the table and pulled out a knife, getting him loose from his binds. “You okay?” you asked, grabbing a rag and ripping it in half, wrapping each half around his wounds.

“Yeah. You...you got here in time.” He sat up, his legs hanging off the table as you secured the wraps around his wrists. “How’d you know?”

“I figured out ghouls could eat fresh and then I couldn’t get you on the phone and...I…” You licked your lips. “I knew where to find you.”

“How?” he pressed.

“How’d you know what motel room I was cutting Sam’s mark off of me?” you asked in answer.

“You felt it?” he asked and you nodded. He reached out, barely wincing at the pull on his wrist, and pulled you in for a soft, sad kiss. “They were siblings, kids of the ghoul I took down last time I was in Windom. They called to get revenge for me killing their dad.” He looked away. “Killed Kate and Adam to get revenge first. I was hoping I wasn’t right about my life bleeding on his.”

“It’s not your fault, John,” you whispered.

He shook his head. “I know. Shoulda stuck around to see if the thing left behind little monsters for me to kill, but...I went into rut...and then I had to get back to the boys.”

“John...it’s really not on you.”

“He’s dead because of me.”

“He was alive because of you,” you insisted. “He had nineteen years before these things...he had nineteen years because of you. Please, don’t let this get to you.” You chuckled, ruefully. “I’m the one that’s supposed to be barely floating in an ocean of shit. You’re supposed to be my life raft.”

He smiled and nodded. “I am. I am your life raft, darlin’. Just...a little blood-deprived right now. I’ll perk up after a glass of O.J. and some protein. Come on. Let’s get outta here.”

You nodded and wrapped his arm around your shoulders, helping him off of the table and walking him out to the truck.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[thatgirlwritingficsatnight]

Odi et Amo I

Odi et amo. Quare id faciam fortasse requiris? nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior

Catullus, 85

After a few years of working in the USA for Disney and playing the role of The White Fox in Marvel Cinematic Universe you came back to your motherland - Korea only to be greeted with hatred and contempt. To make things harder for you the universe sends you the most irritating neighbour ™. Will you be able to find your happiness and  accomplish your dream of becoming loved actress in Korea without complying with standards of patriarchal society?

pairing: Park Jinyoung x reader

genre: actor au

warnings: angst, foul language (please don’t read it if you’re not old enough)

words: 5582

A/N: Hi this is my first fanfic ever, and so there are few things I have to say before you hopefully enjoy reading it. 1. English is not my first language so there may be some grammatical errors. I’m sorry, perhaps in the future there will be someone to proofread my works. 2. I’m terribly sorry for my interpunction :( for some reason they don’t teach it here  and so it may be terrible. I am reading about it more but it’s not easy for me as I haven’t practiced enough. I’m really sorry if it’s awkward. 3. This was supposed to be long oneshot, but I was told not all people enjoy long reads on tumblr like I do, so I decided to make a miniseries out of it. Let me know if you enjoyed it and if you want me to write some scenarios, or post more of my works (i have a lot of them in the depths of my drive lol). Love, thatgirlwritingficsatnight.

***

You sat in spacious sofa in your old apartment in Korea. A sigh leaving your lips as you looked through the headlines.

"The black sheep of Korean show biz comes back after four years in USA"

"Whose heart will she eat now? National heartbreaker came back to Korea"

"Go back to USA you wh*re! - internet went wild over L/N Y/N"

"L/N Y/N comes back in outrageous style"

Most of them were a summary or perhaps a reminder for k-netizens why they should hate you; it's because you dated who you wanted to and for how long you wanted to, it's because this one time in the talk show you told off male host when he kept asking about your private life and because the other time you told another one to stop giving you all the questions about clothes and make up while your male co-star got to answer some deep questions about character development and that's to name the few reasons that came instantly to your mind. Of course some articles had to focus on your airport fashion too. The conservative Korean society had a problem with your bra, or rather a lack of thereof under your designer t-shirt. You left out an irritated groan as you scrolled to the comments. They were vicious and vulgar, you don't know what else did you expect honestly. You tossed the phone and buried your face in your hands fighting the urge to tweet something about the nasty people and how they should keep their antediluvian opinions to themselves. You sighed again perhaps if you were in a different country you'd do that, but here with systematic misogyny, where women were supposed to always smile and nod their heads, here where they got paid 60% of men's pay... you'd most likely be crucified. Then again who if not you would come to your defense? You knew the answer — no one, that realization was enough to anger you even more. The blood was boiling inside you as you snatched your phone back and went into Twitter silently mouthing apologies to your manager who'd be blowing your phone in just a few minutes.

 "Yes, I don't wear bras. No, it's not a topic for your article nor your problem. I also know it may shock some people but my dating life is not a topic for your entertainment either."

"It baffles me how Korean society thinks its country is in the group of one of the most civilized ones but still treats women as if we were stuck in 50s."

  Your phone was already blowing with notifications, you could see some new articles already popping and soon after that it buzzed as your manager tried to reach you. You silenced your phone and left it on the coffee table while you moved to the kitchen. You got yourself a lamp of wine and watched always busy streets of Seoul from a window. It was already dark and it looked like rivers of light with cars and street lights constantly illuminating them. You were deep in your thoughts as you pondered if you made a good decision. You had a good life in California. You had your best friend there, a house with a pool and many good opportunities for roles you declined. In those four years you became an international star after your role as Marvel's White Fox — a gumiho superhero. You knew in a year or two Disney would ask you to come back to make more movies and most likely you would but you couldn't stay in the USA any longer. Somehow, even though it seemed illogical considering the warm welcome you've got, you still missed your home. You missed Korea the country that loved to hate you. You weren't exaggerating when you said they loved to hate you, for instance you always played villains in Korean films and dramas and the Korean audience loved it. They loved to hate your characters and so every time you tried to audition for a role that would be first or second lead you'd always be cast as the villain. The very first time you played a good character was when you portrayed the White Fox for Marvel, they chose you because you were half American (on your father's side) and because you used to play femme fatales and that was kinda the character. You accepted the role secretly hoping that it would change the way Korea has seen you. It didn't. They said you were too Westernised and that you weren't true Korean and had their own perfect casting with actresses that weren't as scandalous as you. Well, at least the rest of the world loved you. Nonetheless, you came back. You still weren't sure if it was a good idea or for how long, or even if you'd work here or just relax; you were just happy you could eat unhealthy convenience store food whenever you felt like and that kimchi was a standard and not something you'd only find in specific shops. Speaking of, you craved some ramyun with cheese and perhaps some yakult as well. You changed your clothes into a pair of black sweats and a black hoodie and chose to wear a black cap and face mask as well. You checked yourself in a huge mirror in the corridor. Your outfit screamed two things: first was "I am a crazy murderer from drama" and and second "look at me I'm a celebrity". You sighed. Honestly what else could you wear? You decided not to change and went out to the nearest convenience store.

You walked slowly taking your time to get to the store while listening to Def Soul hoping lazy beats would calm your nerves. You bopped your head to the rhythm as you entered the store and went straight into ramyun section. You picked your favourite spicy one and grabbed some cheese, yakult and cherry coke. The girl working there seemed really young and you caught her yawning. She apologized and you smiled warmly although she probably couldn't see it through the mask.

"Don't worry about it I'm tired today as well." you said, and she smiled. You paid with a card and regretted not withdrawing any money so that you could tip her. You remember when you were just a bit younger than her, working in similar way but back in the USA; she’d appreciate extra cash. You took the ramyun to prepare it and hummed as you waited for the noodles to get soft. Food always got you to feel better. You were spreading cheese on your noodles when middle-aged men entered the shop. Soon you'd believe it's not your night or perhaps that you got some bad karma, or that you were just cursed. The men came up to the cashier and asked for a pack of cigarettes. You were about to slurp the first noodles when he spoke.

"When will you finish your shift cutie maybe I can pick you up?" He chuckled and the girl tried to smile politely although anyone with eyes could see how uncomfortable she felt. She tried to decline his advances with a small scared voice clearly she was too young to feel comfortable enough to just curse him out.

"You sluts are always the same. You smile at me flirt with me and then act all fucking.."

"Aish!" you didn't let him finish. And he turned your way surprised someone else was in the store. "I lost all appetite," you dropped the chopsticks next to the bowl and moved your gaze at the male: disgust was rolling off from you in waves, and he flinched upon meeting your eyes, "then again who wouldn't if they had to eat in the presence of trash?" You watched as his face got all red and furious, it seemed almost twisted now. "How dare you speak like that to me, you bi..." once again he couldn't finish his sentence this time you silenced him with your swift actions. You closed the distance between the two of you and grabbed his hand firmly. Then you put it behind his back and twisted it painfully enough for him to groan.

"Call me a bitch, I dare you." you said quietly, but he didn't respond, he just jerked trying to escape your hold. He smelled like tobacco, digested alcohol and grease. You scrunched your nose and took him out of the store. You pushed him lightly, and yet he still lost balance and fell. He shot you a glare full of hate and fury while you tried to remain calm. Truth to be told you were scared, yes you jumped in to help the girl, and successfully silenced him, but that was most likely only because he wasn't sober. You were silently asking universe to help you out as you mustered your courage and played your part of "fearless Y/N”.

"Leave or I'll call the police and tell them you harassed both me and the girl." He stood up and spit under your legs before he left. You sighed, a tight knot unravelling itself finally in your belly, adrenaline that was brought up with the surge of fury disappearing now, leaving you bit wobbly. You made mental note to thank the director of The White Fox for making you take those material arts classes, they came in handy. You came back to the store, you didn’t pay attention to the girl that watched you in awe. You just wanted to enjoy your noodles. Finally, able to take the bite you let out disgusted groan they got too soft. Letting out resigned sigh you opened the yakult.

"Miss Y/N.." small voice started next to you. The girl was blushing and smiling. She was cute, had long brown hair and a mole just under her left eye. You smiled back and it seemed to encourage her. "Thank you. You are like the coolest unnie ever. I will always support you and fight anyone that calls you names and.." You chuckled at her eagerness and sudden flood of words. "Thanks kid. What's your name? "Kim Seoyun." "Nice to meet you Kim Seoyun. I'm L/N Y/N." you said with a smile, and she blushed even more. You looked through the window and bit the inside of your cheek. What if he comes back when you're gone, you couldn’t risk it. "Tell me Seoyun when do you end your shift?" She took out a phone from her pocket. "Oh, in ten minutes." "Great I'll wait for you and order you a taxi." "Ah, unnie you don't have to… you already helped me enough and.." "Nonsense", you cut her off "he may come back and I'll sleep better knowing you are safe at home."

She nodded and came back to work. Leaving you with your soggy and lukewarm noodles. You thought about throwing it out but you hated wasting food and so you made yourself eat at least a bit although now it was cold and awfully soft. Ten minutes passed rather quickly and soon you found yourself standing next to the taxi with Seoyun. You gestured her to get in, but she stood in front of you and suddenly bowed deeply while extending her hands in front of you. Much to your surprise she was giving you a popsicle.

"Y/N-unnie I know it's not much but I wanted to thank you..."

You grinned at her while taking the gift. You quickly unwrapped it and tried it, it was strawberry flavoured.

"Thank you. It's the best popsicle I've ever had." You said honestly. Seoyun blushed and entered the car but before the taxi took off she lowered the car window and screamed.

"Y/N-unnie from today I'm your biggest fan! Unnie fighting!" You laughed.

"Mmm. Thank you!" After that car took off and you happily walked back home. Earphones in, phone in your hand as you decided to order some food since the ramyun sadly haven't been quite satisfying. You slurped at the popsicle even though it was the time of year when nights got colder. The taste of strawberries melted on your tongue. It was the first time someone in Korea told you they were your fan, it was also the first time a Korean fan gave you a gift. Despite the chilly air, and cold ice against your lips you felt warmth spreading from your chest. Grinning to yourself, you scrolled through different restaurants still thinking of what should you eat and then you bumped into someone or rather someone bumped into you. Popsicle fell to the ground and so did your phone with earphones brutally torn out from your ears. The man who bumped into you was in a very similar attire as your own he even wore a mask and a cap. You frowned upon realizing the gift from your first Korean fan was melting next to you. You were however about to apologize before he spoke in irritated tone while collecting some boxes scattered around you two.

"Next time watch where you're going." The blood inside you boiled the third time this evening and you snapped back at him before he could add anything else.

"Maybe you should watch where you're going." your tone was so aggressive it was clear all of the frustrations from today's evening build up in you. You gathered your things quickly.

"Excuse me..." he said straightening as he glared at you. His tone was promising a fight or a lecture at least. You didn't feel like any of that so once again today you didn't let someone finish their sentence, a habit of yours as it seems.

"Apologies accepted, asshole." you said fiercely and left him standing there with his stupid boxes in a state of shock. You got into the elevator and decided not to pay anyone any more of your thoughts tonight. You smiled at wooden popsicle stick and quickly forgot about the man downstairs.

Jinyoung was still shocked but also amused by your witty comeback. He knew he reacted upon his emotions when he was rude to you. He was just angry that he had to move the second time in the last two months. Sasaengs somehow found out about his last apartment in which he lived for only two weeks and just started feeling at home. Few days ago they found him, and he was harassed once again. Tired and angry he acted without thinking when you bumped into him and his belongings scattered. He wanted to apologize right away but you growled back at him, and he got irritated, so he wanted to lecture you or at least tell you not to interrupt other people when they are speaking, but you did just that and in very smart matter at that as well. Now Jinyoung was riding an elevator trying to pinpoint your face, he was sure he had seen you somewhere already. He entered his flat and sighed as he realized he had to unpack once again. He decided it could wait till morning.

You were woken up by both pounding and drilling in the wall behind your head. With long groan you pulled a pillow over your head but it didn't help much. You checked the time on your phone. It was seven thirty in the morning and you couldn't fall asleep till three - courtesy of your jet lag. You tried to ignore it hoping that you were sleepy and tired enough to fall asleep, unfortunately to no avail.

"Who the hell does the renovation on Saturday morning?" you asked your own walls with furious tone. You left the bed deciding to speak with the person next door. You didn't even bother to change from your PJ or brush your teeth, or hair, or even to throw something over yourself. You left your apartment in your bunny pyjama set, a gift from your best friend. Soon you were pounding angrily at the door. It took quite some time before the drilling inside stopped and someone opened the door. The man who opened seized you up and down with his eyes and coughed in his fist diverting his gaze somewhere else.

"Can I help you?" he asked his voice was a bit distressed. "I sure hope you can. It's Saturday seven in the morning." you were fuming, and he finally looked at you although he kept his eyes stuck to your face. "Ah... thank you for informing me. Are you working as personal calendar and clock for all of your neighbours or am I on some special treatment?" he asked sarcastically and smirked which made you: first bewildered and second even more mad if that's possible. "Let me rephrase that for you: it's Saturday, early morning and you are drilling in a wall." "Well, technically it was Mr Ahn who was drilling, I was enjoying myself with a book." He clearly enjoyed teasing you, there was this gleam in his eyes. "Don't you think that's a bit too early for a renovation?" your voice was seething with venom although you tried to keep your cool. "Quite contrary. I checked with the building manager, and I am only supposed to keep quiet between ten p.m and seven a.m. as you can see I even waited thirty minutes." He smiled at you and in that second you hated him, his stupid brown hair, strangely symmetrical face, weirdly tight cardigan and the fact that you couldn't do much since he was in the right. You just turned on your heels ready to storm off back to your flat when he spoke again. "Ah, and might I add I just love your fashion sense." he raised one brow and his eyes once again travelled through your body. "Excuse me?"

"Apologies accepted." Your face went from frowned and angry to shocked in a second, and he laughed at your reaction before closing the doors and leaving you cursing yourself, your luck and your best friend who thought it would be cute to buy you pyjama set which contained of hoodie with ears and a bunny tail and some shorts.

You entered your apartment, deep red setted on your face from both anger and embarrassment. As soon as you closed the doors the drilling continued. You cursed under the breath and went to shower. You stood long under the stream letting the water wash away both dirt and emotions. Once you were clean and ready for the day you’ve decided to ditch your flat for now since it was too loud for you anyway. This time you went for less sporty look but still all black. It was a turtleneck, slacks, martens and a beret. Chic and comfortable. You did  your makeup and hair and went out for breakfast. The car was already waiting for you when you got downstairs. You pulled a black mask over your face and greeted the driver who didn't talk much and so you didn't have to worry about the small talk. You scrolled through your phone checking the messages you got from your manager — there was about twenty of them and somehow each was written with different emotion: rage, irritation, sadness, hopelessness and so on. You sighed knowing that you should probably apologize for the troubles you caused him. Then again what were you supposed to do, not react when half of this country is calling you names? You signed back in your Twitter only to be greeted by thousands of notifications. Most of which were trolls and haters commenting on your tweets with occasional death threats in your DMs. You tried your very best not to read each and every comment knowing that even though you were strong it still affected you. You were; however, positively surprised when you found some supporting voices. There was your best friend (obviously) who fiercely defended you and called out everyone on their bull, he even threatened legal action and you smiled brightly at his tweets, but there were also few Korean celebrities who took your side and defended you as well. Most importantly there were few normal people, fans perhaps, who applauded you and thanked for speaking out. You smiled when you saw user "Y/NUnnieFandomPresidentSeoyun" somewhere in your notifications. Somehow traffic was still bad even on weekend and it took you forty minutes to get to the café you had in mind. Once you got there however you didn't regret time spend on travel. It was café in quiet part of town, it wasn't very popular since it wasn't in Gangnam but because of that it was one of your favourites. No paparazzi, no dispatch, no other celebrities.

The place itself wasn't very big but it had huge windows and was located in front of the park so you could easily grab a coffee and go for a walk or just stay inside and watch people and kids spending their time at the park. The interior wasn't anything special either, it wasn't one of those Instagram worthy cafés. It had simple modern style. You came in and ordered coffee and some toasts and sat in front of the window. There were few people inside so you sat without your mask freely and wondered if your friend was already sleeping. It was around nine here so in Los Angeles it was probably midnight. You texted him asking if he's sleeping, and he just responded by facetiming you right away. His black hair was still wet from shower, and he wasn't wearing any shirt.

"Yah! Y/N-ah!" he scolded you immediately. "How dare you not text or call your best friend for over a day. Do you know how worried I was?" You rolled your eyes at him.

"It's not like you contacted me either. And put some clothes on Tuan."

"Never. I know you secretly love watching my chest."

"Gross. Anyway.. I haven't called because I was tired yesterday, you know jet lag and all of that, so don't get mad at me."

"How are you now?" His playfulness was replaced by concern and it was clear he wasn't really asking about the quality of your sleep which was in fact terrible thanks to your lovely neighbour.

"I'm fine." He gave you the look. "Really. Honestly I didn't expect anything better from what I got, so I'm fine Mark."

"I shouldn't have let you go. You know what? Those people don't deserve you. Come back to the USA and let's live together again I'll even cook. Or I can come to you I'll fight them and keep you company. I'm can easily stream from there.." You giggled at him and he grinned. "You know I'm serious though you can come back I already miss you anyway. God, I should have married you maybe you wouldn't leave me Y/N-ah..." he was whiny again and you laughed. It was an inside joke between you. Both yours and his parents would always tell you to just marry already but neither of you felt anything romantic towards the other one. You'd known each other since you were two and both of you had treated each other like siblings ever since.

"You should have and now it's too late. I'll find myself new victim and feast on their heart like a true gumiho I am." you said in theatrical manner while munching on your toast.

"Honestly who the fuck writes those articles?"

"I don't know but I'm pretty sure... Oh my god. You've got to be kidding me." you said and tried to lower your face down so that the person passing in front of the window you've been sitting by couldn't see you.

"What? What? Is that paparazzi? Your ex? Is that paparazzi rented by your ex?" You frowned at your friend.

"What? No? It's my asshole neighbour." "Never heard of him. Why are we hiding anyway? You can just tell him to back off. Last time I checked you were great at that." He showed you two thumbs up and smiled broadly. "I'm hiding because I'm embarrassed and I don't want to talk to him." "Why?" he laughed. "What did you do?" "I didn't do anything it was that stupid PJ you got me..." you whispered at him while trying to make yourself as small as possible. "Oh my god. One day in Korea and you already got yourself a one-night stand. This is not how I raised you. What would your mother say?" he teased you and giggled. "For the love of... it's not like that." you said angrily a bit too loud perhaps since the men in question who was just ordering by the counter turned around and looked you dead in the eyes. His neutral expression changing to surprised before it transformed to smirk. You cursed yourself and Mark and bowed your head slightly and awkwardly before you turned around to face your now laughing friend.

"You should see your face."

"Shut up. I hate you."

"You love me."

"What a surprise." Third voice spoke up by your side and you cringed a little before you put on your cold mask on.

"A surprise indeed." You said, your neighbour moved his eyes from your face to the screen of your phone carefully placed against the glass. Mark was still there, still half naked and smirking at you.

"Am I interrupting something?"

"Yes."

"No." you and Mark said at the same time and you send him death glare regretting that you couldn't kick him right now. "I was about to go to sleep anyway. Love you."

He disappeared without waiting for your response. You let out soft sigh and reach out for phone.

"Do you mind if I join you?" The man was already sitting next to you. He was smiling at you and perhaps any other person would say it was a warm type of smile but you felt like he was mocking you. Constantly. You straightened up in your seat and eyed him closely. He was wearing the same tight cardigan, it was accentuating his broad frame and muscles hidden underneath soft, brown cashmere and simple but well fitted blue jeans. You had to admit he was handsome and had somehow angelic face which only made you cringe once you compared it to his personality or at least to what he showed you already. "I don't think that's a good idea." You said after a pause, his expression didn't change for a second, and he sipped on coffee that blushing waitress brought a few seconds ago. "How so?" His voice was sweet and melodic, it irritated you even more. "I am a celebrity, there might be an article about me having coffee with you tomorrow." You kept your tone intentionally bored as you played with the spoon. He laughed and you changed your mind his speaking voice couldn't be called melodic when his laughter sounded so beautifully.

"That's funny. I'm celebrity as well I think I'll survive." It wasn't surprising at all, he was too good-looking to not be an idol, a model or an actor perhaps. You held back another sigh. You could already see the headlines "Y/N attacks again will this man keep up with her appetite" or perhaps "One day in Korea, and she already dates — check out Y/N and her new boy toy". "Yeah I doubt it." you said but quickly added. "Weren't you supposed to renovate your apartment anyway?" "I left it to Mr Ahn it got too loud for me to read in peace."

"I can imagine." Sarcasm was basically dripping from your tongue which only seemed to amuse him even more. His eyes were now twinkling and you thought that he must be a devil in disguise. "I must say it's very lucky that I met you here. What are the odds, right?" "Ah I wouldn't call it lucky, that's for sure." You were currently planning how to escape from this conversation. "So how about we get to know each other a bit better?" He proposed with a warm smile. "I don't think so. I don't even know you." "Oh. That's harsh you do know me. I'm your neighbour and this is our third meeting." He placed a hand over his heart and frowned in pain and you wondered how can one still look handsome while frowning before he continued. "Besides I can fix that. I'm Park Jinyoung nice to meet you. See now we know each other." You fought and urge to roll your eyes and you summoned the most polite looking smile you had in your arsenal. Your phone rang before you could say anything and you've never been more happy to see your manager's face appearing on your screen.

"I'm sorry I have to take it." you said politely, and he just nodded. "Oh I wasn't expecting you to pick up." "Ah manager-nim don't be like that I haven't been picking up only for one day." "Why are you so polite are you with someone?" "Yes." You glared at Jinyoung, he was watching you with a smile with coffee in his hand. "Ok, I can call later." "No!" you almost screamed and cleared your throat trying to remain composure. "No, it's fine." "O-ok. Do you have time today? We should meet and talk I just got something that may interest you. It's really nice drama. I know you said you don't want to play in any of those romantic stories but hear me out this one is..." you'd roll your eyes if not for your neighbour's curious eyes. "Of course when and where will we meet?" You decided to cut off his rumbling. "Really? Before departure, you said you won't play in any stupid drama again." "Ah, I see. I did say that. We should meet today, text me the address then." Hanging up on him, you hoped he got the brains to follow up with text. He thankfully did and your phone barked. Jinyoung laughed again and you gave him confused look. "Did your phone just bark at you?" You blushed against yourself. Was it so weird to have a dog's bark as your message sound? "Ah... yes. I like dogs." You cringed on yourself. Somehow today in front of this man you were constantly losing your cool. He either irritated you or made you flustered enough to forget any eloquent comebacks or eloquence at all. "Anyway it was nice meeting you Jinyoung-ssi but I have to meet up with my manager."

"Oh you're leaving without even properly introducing yourself?" He cocked a brow on you and smirked. You stood up and looked at him coldly. "I'm sorry I don't feel the need." You were about to leave before he spoke again. "Ah… running already... startled... like a true bunny. Come to think of it... it does have a nice ring into it, doesn't it? Bunny. It suits you and you even have a costume already." His voice was so extremely mocking that you felt the irritation buzzing in you like electricity. Not to mention he spoke so loudly the waitress that was blushing at him before now listened carefully. You groaned internally. What if she writes about it somewhere. Media won't let you live especially that he is your neighbour they'd say he is already in love with you. And "bunny" was such a couple pet name. You were in the midst of your internal crisis before he decided to speak again.

"Have nice day bun.." You reacted before you thought, your hand slapped against his mouth before he could say anything more. His eyes got bigger, he was clearly shocked that you were so close to him, that you touched him and that you didn't really care about your language. You on the other had were fuming. You've met your fair share of fuckboys, assholes and idiots but not one of them that had similar status to yours acted with such insolence in public where other people could see you. Well, almost none, perhaps your ex was the only one. You kept your voice quiet, loud enough only for him to hear.

"Shut up. And watch your tongue before I pull it out because the universe be my witness I will and I'll do it with pleasure. My name is not kitten, bunny or any other pet name your buffoon head comes up with. It's Y/N. My name is bloody Y/N." You hissed out and his hand reach out to yours. It was hot from coffee and soft even though his grasp was firm. He took your hand of his mouth and smiled.

"Nice to meet you."

You took a step back and send him the look that must have looked like you were trying to shoot daggers at him.

"I'm sure it is. Now if you excuse me. I don't want to be late."

You rushed to counter to pay only to find out it was already taken care of by Jinyoung. You furrowed your brows and wanted to give him his money back instantly but your phone buzzed and it was your cue to leave. The driver was here.

To Mark 🐰 💙 : One day Tuan... you'll pay for this betrayal

From Mark 🐰 💙 : ILY 2 good night. P.S. He seemed hot 👀

You rolled your eyes how hot was he didn't matter if his sole personality drove you crazy only after three brief meetings. You sighed. This was not how you wanted to spend this day: enraged twice and on your way to see your manager.

Keep reading

[aestheticallyunaesthetic17]

100 questions and answers

Who is your hero? Probably future me, i want to be able to grow up and be the better person that i hope they are, and the only way of knowing that is by making it happen.

If you could live anywhere, where would it be? New Zealand, Canada or USA. I lived in TX for 3 months and loved it there and I have family in NZ and Canada.

What is your biggest fear? Wasps, 100%. Not being stung but the way they look scares me.

What is your favorite family vacation? When we went to Krakow in Poland.

What would you change about yourself if you could? My skin color. I hate it so much.

What really makes you angry? People hating others or stopping others from being themselves.

What motivates you to work hard? To make future me happier than I am now.

What is your favorite thing about your career? I want to be in cabin crew, so probably the traveling.

What is your biggest complaint about your job? Being away from family.

What is your proudest accomplishment? Getting through the shit 2020 brought me without killing myself.

What is your child's proudest accomplishment? No kids rn.

What is your favorite book to read? Noughts and Crosses by Malorie Blackman

What makes you laugh the most? My boyfriend.

What was the last movie you went to? What did you think? Freaks. I was a bad movie, a little like the scary movies franchise. My friend was scared at parts which was super funny to watch

What did you want to be when you were small? An actor. Typical Leo ;)

What does your child want to be when he/she grows up? They can be anything they want to be.

If you could choose to do anything for a day, what would it be? Visit Edinburgh alone.

What is your favorite game or sport to watch and play? To watch, American Football. To play, archery.

Would you rather ride a bike, ride a horse, or drive a car? Drive a car, it's peaceful and warm. I would blast music.

What would you sing at Karaoke night? no idea.

What two radio stations do you listen to in the car the most? Heart and Capital

Which would you rather do: wash dishes, mow the lawn, clean the bathroom, or vacuum the house? Dishes or vacuum.

If you could hire someone to help you, would it be with cleaning, cooking, or yard work? Yard work!!!

If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be? Tandoori Prawn curry.

Who is your favorite author? Jacqueline Wilson or JK Rowling (only her books, not her)

Have you ever had a nickname? What is it? Just Em. But id like to be called Millie.

Do you like or dislike surprises? Why or why not? Depends on the surprise tbh, I like to plan a lot.

In the evening, would you rather play a game, visit a relative, watch a movie, or read? Watch a movie.

Would you rather vacation in Hawaii or Alaska, and why? Hawaii. I was meant to go this year but covid and leaving the US fucked it up.

Would you rather win the lottery or work at the perfect job? And why? Work the perfect job, id get bored sitting around all day.

Who would you want to be stranded with on a deserted island? my boyfriend.

If money was no object, what would you do all day? Travel and see the world.

If you could go back in time, what year would you travel to? 2012. To see my Nana again.

How would your friends describe you? Stupid.

What are your hobbies? Traveling, photography, music and shopping.

What is the best gift you have been given? Forgiveness from myself.

What is the worst gift you have received? Sixe XXL jacket when im an XS

Aside from necessities, what one thing could you not go a day without? My macbook.

List two pet peeves. - Breaking trust - Bad table manners

Where do you see yourself in five years? Hopefully working my dream job, maybe moved to a different country and traveling the world.

How many pairs of shoes do you own? too many, roughly 16

If you were a super-hero, what powers would you have? Invisibility or teleportation.

What would you do if you won the lottery? build my own house

What form of public transportation do you prefer? (air, boat, train, bus, car, etc.) Train, its so relaxing. Then planes.

What's your favorite zoo animal? Lions or tigers.

If you could go back in time to change one thing, what would it be? My time in America.

If you could share a meal with any 4 individuals, living or dead, who would they be? - My nana - my bf - Princess Diana - Obama

How many pillows do you sleep with? 4, two on each side.

What's the longest you've gone without sleep (and why)? 26 hours, traveling to Texarkana from Edinburgh.

What's the tallest building you've been to the top in? Idk tbh

Would you rather trade intelligence for looks or looks for intelligence? looks for intelligence because then you can earn enough for plastic surgery.

How often do you buy clothes? 1/2 a month

Have you ever had a secret admirer? Idk I guess so.

What's your favorite holiday? Summer vacation Christmas for an actual holiday

What's the most daring thing you've ever done? Moved half way across the world and lived with strangers.

What was the last thing you recorded on TV? Nothing

What was the last book you read? 1984

What's your favorite type of foreign food? Indian

Are you a clean or messy person? Both, but relatively clean

Who would you want to play you in a movie of your life? Millie Bobbie Brown probably

How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? 1 hour

What kitchen appliance do you use every day? Kettle

What's your favorite fast food chain? Chick fil A (i know, i cant buy it now tho)

What's your favorite family recipe? Nana's bacon and egg pie

Do you love or hate rollercoasters? LOVE

What's your favorite family tradition? Opening gifts on Christmas Eve

What is your favorite childhood memory? I dunno really, Ive forgotten a lot of my childhood.

What's your favorite movie? Ferris Bueller's Day Off or Beautiful Boy

How old were you when you learned Santa wasn't real? How did you find out? Probably 7/8 but I dont remember.

Is your glass half full or half empty? Half empty.

What's the craziest thing you’ve done in the name of love? Said i'd come back one day.

What three items would you take with you on a deserted island? A boat and food. Yes i am that person.

What was your favorite subject in school? Scottish school, geography. US school, government.

What's the most unusual thing you've ever eaten? Haggis

Do you collect anything? Foreign coins

Is there anything you wished would come back into fashion? Skinny jeans, my ass looks gooood in them

Are you an introvert or an extrovert? introvert that likes being sociable

Which of the five senses would you say is your strongest? hearing

Have you ever had a surprise party? (that was an actual surprise) nope

Are you related or distantly related to anyone famous? my dad is well know in the whisky business. Has his own prime tv show

What do you do to keep fit? Walk a lot and swim.

Does your family have a “motto” – spoken or unspoken? nope

If you were ruler of your own country what would be the first law you would introduce? everyone is equal.

Who was your favorite teacher in school and why? Scottish School, my geo teacher. US school, my english teacher.

What three things do you think of the most each day? My bf, my mum and America

If you had a warning label, what would yours say? Sad, angry and anxious

What song would you say best sums you up? 17 again

What celebrity would you like to meet at Starbucks for a cup of coffee? Timothee Chalamet or Tom Holland

Who was your first crush? a boy called Finlay who i rode the bus with

What's the most interesting thing you can see out of your office or kitchen window? sheep or cows very often

On a scale of 1-10 how funny would you say you are? 5

Where do you see yourself in 10 years? kids, married, settled down and happy. moved countries 100%

What was your first job? never had one

If you could join any past or current music group which would you want to join? 5sos

How many languages do you speak? 1 - english

What is your favorite family holiday tradition? opening gifts on Christmas Eve

Who is the most intelligent person you know? my mum

If you had to describe yourself as an animal, which one would it be? a cat probably or a tiger

What is one thing you will never do again? trust people fully

Who knows you the best? my bf.

[stupidjewkyle]

request from @im-just-star-dust

cartman x reader

my friend, eric- part 1

TW: abusive parents (mostly verbal abusive, no physical abuse) please don’t read before and after the ‘*’ mark if this is triggering to you. thank you :)

NOTE: this is set in 7th grade, they are all 12 and 13

y/n pov:

my whole life, i’ve been quiet. every school i went to, i was known as “the quiet kid.” growing up, i never had many friends. i mean, how could you even make friends without talking to them. and even if i made a friend, it wouldn’t last long cause of how much i move. my parents work in...a strange business. drug dealers. they’re always scared of getting caught, so we move once every 4-6 months. i hate my life. i hate my parents. i hate not being able to speak up about anything. i never get to have a say in anything that happens in my life. for example, today my parents decided to move again. since we have quite a bit of extra money to use, i asked to move to hawaii, or a nice place like that. they laughed and then handed me a paper with the moving information. 467 cliff drive, south park, CO, USA ‘you have to be fucking kidding me.’ i mumbled. “what’s wrong with south park?” my dad said. “it’s not a very known town, so we would be safe there. we could probably stay there for at least a year and a half.” “now you could finally make friends!” my mom said smiling. i rolled my eyes.

*

“you know what? if you’re gonna be a bitch about it, just go to your room and start packing. i don’t wanna hear anymore shit from you. got it?” my dad said, pulling me by my hair.

i wanted to say something so bad. but i was scared. i turned around and started walking upstairs.

*

1 week later

we were finally here. south park wasn’t as bad as i thought it was gonna be.

i haven’t left my house since we got here. all

the kids in my neighborhood are always outside, i cant risk them seeing me. i don’t want to meet them. i’m too scared to talk. they might think i’m weird. i just can’t risk anything. plus, school starts tomorrow. i don’t want anything to be anymore awkward than it is for me on the first day.

cartman pov:

i woke up early like normal. i got dressed, like normal. i talked to my stupid bitch mom, like normal. i walked to the bus stop, like normal.

“god why is everything so fucking boring all of a sudden?? has it always been like this??” i said while standing next to kyle and kenny.

kyle glanced at cartman. “yes, it’s always been like this fatass. i don’t see a problem with it though. it’s nice to have a routine-“

“SHUT THE FUCK UP KYLE. JESUS CHRIST YOURE MAKING IT WORSE.” cartman yelled at kyle.

“you know what? i’m leaving. there’s better and less stupid things to do than school.”

i started walking away from the bus stop. stupid fucking kyle always ruining my day.

i started walking to token’s house.

on the way there, i saw a girl walking down the street. she had y/h/c hair that went down to her elbows (sorry if your hair isn’t that length LMAO). it caught my attention. she was wearing baggy jeans, an oversized tye-dye t-shirt, and a pink un-zipped jacket on top. she looked so pretty and bothered while she walked.

“woah.” i said out loud.

“dude can u move? i need to get to school.” token said standing behind me.

“cant you see i’m busy token? just walk around me.”

“i would if you weren’t so fat!”

y/n pov:

shit! i think those two boys saw me. i need to get to class fast before they say anything to me!

after what felt like hours, i finally got to my class room. i walked up to the teacher and she assigned me to a desk. “go sit next to stan, he’ll tell you about the school.” i nodded my head.

“oh hi you must be the new girl.” stan said, holding his hand out for me to shake. i blushed and didn’t put my hand out. he looked confused. “okay then... meet me after 5th period and i’ll show you around.” he said sitting back down.

cartman pov:

time skip, lunch time

i sat down at my usual table with kenny, kyle, stan, butters, craig, jimmy, and scott malkinson.

“holy shit guys, did you see the new girl?” i said excitedly.

“oh yeah i did. i think her name is y/n? i’m not sure. she’s pretty hot tho.” kyle said taking a bite of his sandwich.

“fuck off kyle, she’s mine!” i yelled.

“woah calm down fatass. she’s not yours. she doesn’t even know who you are.” kyle replied.

“and i’m about to change that...” i said grinning.

y/n pov:

i sat down outside, alone. it’s only the first day, and i already made it weird. why couldn’t i just shake his hand? he’s probably telling everyone i’m an awkward, germaphobe who doesn’t talk.

i sighed and put my face in my arms.

“uh hi. your the new girl right?” a boy said looking down at me, his hands behind his back.

something about him made me feel..safe.

“um yeah... i’m y/n...” i said quietly.

“y/n... i like that name, it’s pretty. i’m eric, but most people call me cartman.” the boy said, sitting down next to me.

“well nice to meet you eric.” i didn’t know what else to say. i wanted to keep talking to him but i had nothing else to say.

“um... are you friends with stan?” i said, hoping we could continue talking.

cartman pov:

goddammit. she likes stan. great.

“oh yeah we’re friends. he uh has a girlfriend though in case you were wondering. i’m sorry.” i said.

WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME?! WHY AM I BEING TO NICE TO HER?! WHY AM I BLUSHING AND SMILING?? AND WHY DO I CARE SO MUCH THAT SHE LIKES STAN??

i didn’t realize what had happened to me until it was too late. i had a crush. this isn’t gonna end well. i swore i would never like anyone again after the whole heidi thing happened. i should just leave and call her a bitch and ignore my feelings. yeah! that’s a great idea!

i stood up.

“well, i have to get ready for class. it was really nice spending lunch with you. maybe we can hang out after school on friday?” i said.

“yea sure! i’d love to.” she said smiling.

GODDAMMIT WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST SAY?!

to be continued...

[scribbleb-red]

Neil is a lying liar who lies AU

A Morning AU - with a fab prompt from @djhedy

There’s a new boy in Andrew’s class and there’s something not quite right about him. He’s mouthy and sharp, the kinda kid that should end up in detention three times a week but never does.

They are seven years old, though the new kid looks five, with eyes like a wide open sky. 

He is very pretty - that’s why Andrew notices him first - he looks like a fairy prince. 

And it’s because Andrew is watching that he notices though: the kid is a big bad lying liar who lies. 

The day he joined, the kid said his name was ‘Stefan’ to Mrs Stewart and ‘Chris’ to Mr Brasenose. The next day he was just ‘Neil’ and was given a fond, exasperated warning to keep his make believe in the playground. 

 But the kid didn’t stop lying.

Some lies were big and others were small. 

On a Tuesday, Neil announced that he’d had a huge feast for breakfast - listing all the foods and making everyone’s mouth water with the descriptions. (But Andrew saw how he winced nd held his stomach like it was empty.)

On a Thursday, Neil said he grew up in England and proceeded to spend the next week speaking in a post English accent. (But he later admits at lunch it was just a couple months).

On a Friday, Neil whispers that his house is haunted and he’s scared to go home for the weekend. (There’s a little too much truth shining through those eyes as he talks about the ghost in his house. Andrew doesn’t doubt that he’s scared of something).

The following Monday, Neil explains his bruises by saying he spent the week learning to skateboard. 

“My cousin visited and let me use her skate board. It was pretty rad.” 

(Andrew eyes the split lip, it could be true. But then he sees the hand shape around Neil’s thin wrist and knows the truth: it’s a lie.)

Through it all, Andrew is very quiet and very alone. He knows how this goes - he’s seven years old with more cracks in his heart than a fifty year romantic - but he kinda enjoys Neil’s lies and how he gets away with them.

He particularly likes the outrageous ones: 

My father parachuted into Paris because he’s a spy. He died landing on the Eiffel Tower. I once wrestled a monster. I won but it stole all my mom’s apples. I’m telling the truth. My tongue goes green when I lie. I met Kevin Day.

Andrew won’t pretend he’s not intrigued. He thinks Neil is interesting and his lies are ones he can often hold in the dark, imagining over and over when he’s hurt and wishing to be anyone, anywhere but here.

Plus Neil is funny - he always snarks at the teachers and gets away with the most ridiculous things. Other kids always want to play with him because his games are brilliant - epic journeys, castles and wizards, magical tigers, patchwork villains made from the skin of children. 

Some of Neil’s tall tales are part fairytales, part nightmares.  And Andrew isn’t sure which part Neil actually belongs to. There are times where he’s the brightest, prettiest boy on the playground. And times where his eyes are haunted, mouth wicked cruel. And then there are times like today, where Neil is quiet and blank - a little too familiar to what Andrew sees in the mirror these days, looking like someone has scooped out his insides and left nothing but darkness behind in its wake. 

Andrew almost talks to him then. 

Almost.

But he doesn't. Not for another few weeks. Not until Neil's facing down Greg Doyle - the fight has the vibe of a hissing kitten against a rottweiler. 

 There's no way Neil can win. Greg is a third grader and big beside. 

But Neil doesn't look scared. He looks ferocious.

Not that appearances are going to help. Neil could have the sharpest claws of them all and he'd still weigh nothing against Greg. Neil dodges and ducks the first few blows. He snipes and snarks, that liar's mouth rattling off stories of how he took down a SWAT team once.

But dumb luck can’t do everything and finally Greg gets a thump in, straight across Neil’s jaw - hard enough to make him stagger. 

"So much for a SWAT team, fucking liar." 

There are gasps at the bad word from the growing first and second grade audience. 

"Tongue turns green," Neil says. He spits out blood.

Andrew's had enough when he sees the blood. 

Neil might be an idiot but Andrew knows that there's no way to win this one on alone He steps forward and puts himself between Neil and Greg. 

"Oooo who's this, your boyfriend?" 

Andrew would roll his eyes, but can't be bothered. He is the tallest kid in their year at nearly 4'5. He can look the nine year old Greg in the eye without trouble and he can see the bigger kid calculating his chances of taking Andrew on instead of the skinny little creature that was Neil "motor mouth" Josten.

"Back off," he says. He doesn't inflect. He watched a cartoon where a character spoke completely flat and it was really scary so he figures this might make Greg cower too. "Leave him alone."

Greg nearly steps into Andrew's space but someone has started a whisper: 

Andrew Doe is the kid who killed his parents. Andrew Doe is the kid that burned a house down. Andrew Doe is the kid who took on Bertie Becker from fifth grade and flushed his head down the loo.

It's the last one that gives away the source of these rumours - Neil has started a chain of Chinese whispers. And Greg hears them swirling from mouth to mouth, ear to ear, each more terrifying than the last. It makes Andrew want to grin, so he does. Greg actually whimpers.

The crowd laughs when Greg runs away - he can’t save face when he’s fleeing from a first grader. 

Andrew feels triumphant. 

 Especially when Neil steps up beside him, shy smile and summer sky eyes. “Thanks Andrew.” 

 Neil Josten knows his name, Andrew thinks. Wow wow wow.

Neil’s mouth is swollen but he’s still the prettiest boy in the playground so Andrew doesn’t say anything. 

“Want to play a game?” Neil says. 

 Andrew shrugs. 

 “Yes or no?” Neil says again. “I won’t force you but I’d like to play with you to if you’d like to play with me.”

Andrew thinks about it before saying yes. 

It’s the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

*

They start with games - make believe quests and imaginary journeys. They visit magical worlds in their heads and fall about laughing when one of them (mostly Andrew) doesn’t break character even for class.

They become inseparable - two boys with home lives full of ghosts but dreams that can take them anywhere. The lying liar is the better story teller but the stoic hero a better actor. And sometimes in games they hide their truths - violent families and horrifying pasts.

Neil shows Andrew his scars, “I sometimes say they’re from a shark or ninjas and stuff but...” 

“That’s from an iron.” 

“Yeah.”

In turn, Andrew tells Neil about his foster family. 

“We could poison him,” Neil says. “I heard we can make poison from apple cores. Applesenic or something.”

If only it were that simple.

It happens just before the end of the year - summer is nearly there and Andrew can only imagine how fun it'll be having a friend to adventure with for the first time. And then he finds out that his foster family is getting rid of him. He'll be packed off at the end of term.

"I think mom and I will move too," Neil admits. "We never hang around anywhere long." 

"Because of your dad?" 

"Yeah..." Neil plays with the hem of his t-shirt. "He's in prison but mom is still terrified. She moves us a lot." 

"Maybe you can move to the same place as me."

They pretend that the world isn't going to split them apart. 

They pretend that they're going to have the summer together. 

And the year after. 

That they'll start middle school together. 

And be best friends all the way to the end of high school.

And go to the same college.

"We could play exy together all the way through," Neil says. It's his new obsession. 

"I'm not going to play stickball. I prefer playing games with you." 

"We can play games on the court. You can be the fierce dragon and I'll be the knight that looks after you."

"You'd steal all my dragon gold." 

"Would not." 

Andrew raises one eyebrow. 

"Okay, yes I would. I'd be the knight trying to take your gold. But I'd be sneaky about it." Neil's laughter is high and bright. "Does that mean you'll play with me?" 

"Yeah okay," Andrew says.

But it doesn't work out that way. 

Neil vanishes like sun behind a mountain the day after term ends. 

Andrew's bags are packed. He's dumped in a new home near the beach. He hates the beach. He misses Neil the way his lungs miss oxygen when he's stuck in the swell of a wave.

He does play exy though. 

He does it because he figures one day he'll find Neil on a court too. 

He'll either face him down or by some miracle they'll be on the same team. 

He'll find Neil again. He will.  

He tells himself this every day. 

Even when it feels like a lie.

*

Something like an epilogue

Years pass before Andrew hears anything about the little boy who - for two semesters when he was seven - was his best friend. So many years that if it weren't for one polaroid from a cheeky arcade photo-booth, he might have let the idea of Neil go.

But he keeps the photo with him - through home after home, through Cass and Drake and juvie and Aaron and Nicky. He hides it in books, folds it into pockets. Makes sure to hold onto Neil and the memories of those few happy months.

He plays exy. Keeps track of other teams and their players. The sport does nothing for him - but sometimes he closes his eyes and imagines Neil with his flashing blue eyes mischievous smile and that long ago conversation. He remembers why he's doing this.

At 13, he asks Pig Higgins to do a search on Neil's name but the policeman refuses. 

At 14, he goes through the entire directory for California and when that's exhausted, he starts searching every state from West to East. 

He calls 362 Jostens across the USA. None are Neil.

When he turns 16, he uses a fake and has two small dragons outlined on the top of his left shoulder. 

When he's 17 he meets Riko and Kevin Day. He remembers Neil once saying he'd met Kevin and wonders if that was true or just one of Neil's many many lies. He turns the Ravens down.

He signs two weeks later with the Palmetto State Foxes - taking his brother and cousin with him. 

He watches as the lists of drafted players on other teams go up. There's no Chris or Stefan or Abram - not with the matching face Andrew wants. There's no sign of a Neil Josten.

Andrew smooths out the photo at night, slipping it between the pages of Whitman's Leaves of Grass every morning. 

Maybe it's time to put the memory of Neil to rest, but he can't. 

Neil is one of those beautiful ghosts that he can't help but hold onto. The one unspoilt thing in his memory.

Unspoilt, that is, until a Monday when Kevin Day announces he's recruiting a nobody from a nothing town in the middle of nowhere Arizona and the nobody's name is Neil.

"Neil what?" 

"Josten. Want to see his tape?" 

"Nope," Andrew says. But his heart is a thunderdrum, hope cutting through the medicated hyper mania easy as a knife through butter. "Actually yes, gimme the tapes little birdie." 

Kevin grimaces at his nickname but says nothing until they’re watching the tape. And then he can’t shut up about the player’s potential, his speed and natural flare on the Court. 

It's not Andrew’s Neil. 

But it is too. 

The striker on the court is a brunette with dark eyes but he runs like Neil. He's ferocious and plays like it's the last thing keeping him afloat. He has that little flick of his racquet before he goes to score, a telltale that would never get passed Andrew but no one else seemed to have noticed. 

Andrew says as much to Kevin. 

"Exactly," Kevin says. "That's why we have to have him."

So they go to Millport. 

And Andrew knows Neil well enough to anticipate that he'll run. 

Knows him well enough to trip him with a racquet and catch him as he falls. 

Neil hasn't grown much either - he's still small and sharp and far too pretty to be real.

"Stupid little liar, you should watch where you put your feet." Andrew wishes he were sober. Wishes he didn't have to greet Neil with this grin splitting his face. 

Wishes wishes wishes. 

But his one wish has already come true, Neil is here with him. Warm and lithe and alive.

"Drew?" Neil says, but the word is choked and breathless. Neil’s voice does something to Andrew’s insides and Andrew feels the muscles beneath his hands warring between flight and relief. 

"Neil," he replies. 

"Oh my god, Drew." 

And then Neil's arms are around Andrew's shoulders, and his face is turning into his neck and Andrew realises they're hugging and he shouldn't want to hug back but he does. He does because it's Neil. His friend. His pipe dream. The little boy with the pathological need to lie and an imagination that could create whole worlds from a handful of dust. 

He hugs Neil tight. 

Never wants to let go.

Kevin of course ruins the moment. 

But Neil isn't going to say no to the Foxes. Not now. 

And even though Andrew can recognise the lies slipping passed Neil's lips, he doesn't tell Wymack. Doesn't call out his idiot's new ouchies. Doesn't answer any questions when Kevin demands answers.

"Sign," he speaks only to Neil. He means, Stay with me. "We can play a game. Yes or no?" 

"Yes," Neil says and his smile is a little wild, a lot wonderful. "Let's play a game."

The End.

[guigz1-coldwar]

'A voice in my head': New chapter for "Always for the greater cause..." is out!

Chapter Summary: While a relationship was seen to be born between Wraith & Bell, the former is struggling with how things happened while for Bell, her curiosity causes her to know more...

To read it on AO3, click here!

Taglist: @snowgoldwaylon , @clxudtea , @efingart

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

2nd March 1981, 21H32 PM PDT

Freya 'Wraith' Helvig, Ex-NIS, Perseus

Coming back to the Perseus safehouse 'Hidden Angel', north of Los Angeles

What...what did I do wrong? What happened really? Was I a bit...too much tactile towards her? Maybe...yes, I was. I managed to get her on a perfect spot away from the others & the safehouse where I could declare my feelings towards her, and then, we kissed, it was amazing, to be honest, but I think I did go too far in my moves as if I was literally burning the own steps I put myself for a relationship like that and because of it, she got scared and walked away from the scene, leaving me alone in a bit of a shock.

It took me almost 5 minutes to gather back my thoughts to understand what happened before I could leave this wooden pier and this lake, taking the dirt path to get back to the safehouse, my wonders about what could have crossed inside her head at this moment to do this...did she see something that she isn't supposed to see? Was it her past? It has to be, she's looking very different for some days now and we might need to know what she's thinking...she's special...

When I came back to the safehouse, I thought that Bell would be here but instead, the only person that was here is Bellamy himself, just next to the safehouse main door, his back leaned against the wall & smoking a cigarette...

"Wraith," He called me out once I was at his sight. "You're okay?" He demanded, looking at my questioning face as I was arriving near him.

"Maybe," I muttered, stopping in my moves to get inside the safe house with the idea that a talk could be necessary with him.

"That...isn't an answer for me," He objected, taking the cigarette off his lips to get it between his fingers. "Something bad happened, right?" He supposed and I could either shake my head or nod it but instead, I shrug.

"Yes & no," I replied to him, unsure to tell him what happened before I resigns myself to do so. "We...I kissed Bell if you want to know," I revealed and the first thing I saw in him was to get his eyes wide open, looking surprised on his face by that. "But it didn't end well," I finally added.

"Wait, how can a kiss end badly?" He asked me, his voice adding to his surprise

"Let's just say that I did try to burn some steps..." I started, looking down at my feet in a bit of shame. "...And she was scared about this so she left, like what? 5 minutes ago," I resumed myself, sounding a bit bad for what I did.

"I thought that you were an expert on..." He wanted to say before I could give him a deadly glare, his words not going to help if he continues in this path. "Never mind," He mumbled, putting his cigarette back between his lips, keeping his fingers near it. "She came back here but she went directly in her room," He told me, giving me where's Bell at the moment.

"How did she was?" I questioned him.

"Wasn't looking great, I wasn't willing to know why, not wanting to have the same thing as Knight," He responded, blowing some smoke out of his mouth away from me. "Talking about Knight, he went into town, an acquaintance who wanted to see him personally," He added to his words, changing the subject.

"Who?" I demanded, deciding to get along that little change.

"I don't know, he didn't tell me," He said, shaking his head at me for this.

"Must be Aldrich asking for him," I presumed and Bellamy shrug at this, maybe thinking the same thing as me. "Anyway, I guess that's the end of the day for me," I thought to myself and was ready to leave Bellamy alone to get to my room before he stops me in my walk, putting a hand in front of me.

"Wait, got something for you," He told me, reaching his other hand inside his jacket and revealing a file that he was having on him. "Liliya sent this minutes ago," He explained, handing me over the file and I took it in my hands, seeing on it, the very own MI6 emblem.

"MI6?" I whispered, opening the file to check it closely.

"You said that you wanted a better look on Helen Park, guess that you got served," Bellamy reminded me as my eyes were crossing through the multiple lines inside the file, describing perfectly who is Helen Park for me. "You're seeing with who she is," He pointed out with his left hand inside the file, especially on a picture where I could see Park and...

"Bell," I muttered, seeing her standing right next to Park, Bell's right arm behind Park.

"I suppose that the two are...very closely," Bellamy supposed and for me, one of my fear came to life with that picture in my hand.

"Shit, Bell's remembering her, she must have something that makes her reminding of Park," I suggested, holding the file widely open, looking at Bellamy for an answer from him. "That wasn't supposed to happen with MK-Ultra,"

"I ain't the one with the answers here, Wraith," He commented, sounding right as he was. "You're the one with Stitch, Aldrich & Naga to fuck up her brain, you're the ones that can answer that question;" He insisted, still sounding right in his voice as I was understanding his meaning. "I'm just the guy that's giving her the needed dose & drugs, nothing else," He implied.

"You got to help me with something to make Park a real enemy to..."

"And adding to that, you want me to participate in that fucked up plan?" He cut me in harshly, his cigarette dropping out of his lips. "I'm already posing as her old best friend and even if I'm not liking it, I'm not going to get myself involved to mess with her brain," He asserted as I closes the file in my hands. "You fucked up her brain, that's your problem, not mine,"

"Bellamy, you got to help me for that case," I repeated as he removes himself from the wall, giving me this time, a deadly glare.

"Your shit, your problem," He said again, pointing his finger over the file between my hands. "Deal with that case yourself, you fell in love, so do it yourself," He directed before he starts to get away from me to enter the safe house.

"I'm not in love, Bellamy," I told him, making him stop in his moves to turn around and look at me.

"Oh?" He scoffed, going back to face me with a face that could say that none of my words was true. "If you weren't in love, why would ask me to make Bell hate her MI6 girlfriend?" He asked me and I thought I could answer but nothing comes out of my mouth to tell it. "You're in love,"

"No, I'm not," I insisted to him, trying to get my voice back to a normal tone and better than Bellamy. "I'm only doing this to make sure that she isn't thinking of her anymore,"

"Sure, isn't something that was saying that you want her only for you?" Bellamy presumed in a questioning tone, looking very assertive in this conversation we're doing. "See? You got obsessed by her, just by asking me, I know that you want to keep her only for you," He added again.

"No, I..." I tried to say before Bellamy shook his head, making me stop in my words.

"I'm maybe working against the West but I'll not help you on that case, you messed up with her brain, you're dealing with it," He repeated in a determined tone, making a little poke in the front of my left shoulder and now, I could have maybe hit him back but not here. "This conversation is done, Wraith," He announced before he turns around again to head inside the safehouse leaving me alone outside with that file.

I couldn't bring myself to understand what just happened with Bellamy but he wasn't sounding very good towards me and that was a first, even I couldn't get a bit angry against him as if the event with Bell caused me to change a bit. I went back inside the safehouse to see that Bellamy already left to get to his bedroom as the only light that was on was the one near my desk on the dashboard where I walked to.

When I reached it, my curiosity make me look back at the file that he gave me about Helen Park and each time my eyes were looking at her picture, the more I was starting to hate her, a feeling that I wasn't understanding but I was hating her. I put the file back on my desk before I move in front of the dashboard, looking up at the picture of the CIA's team until my eyes blocked at Park's picture sight...impossible to remove them as a sign of hate was coming up on my face to see it...

"I don't know why but I hate you...and I'll kill you,"

---------------------------------------------

3rd March 1981, 00H01 PM PDT

Yirina 'Bell' Grigoriev, Ex-KGB, Perseus

Bell's bedroom in the Perseus safehouse "Hidden Angel", Los Angeles, USA

I couldn't sleep at the moment and the only thing that I could do was to keep my eyes open, feeling a bit...disturbed & confused about a lot of things, I was loving Freya but there's sort of something that was blocking me, something that is trying to say something to me...something that I can't understand. Because of it, I forced myself to not close my eyes since I came back here, going straight inside my bedroom and get up on my bed, trying to think of something else than all of this but it wasn't working, I was still thinking about everything at the moment.

It was midnight passed, I stayed more than 2 and a half hours to stay focus on not shutting down my eyes, seeming also scared to sleep and face another weird dream in my head but as the minutes were passing, there were like a thing that got me into waking up from my bed, my curiosity getting high on that particular subject of this...Helen Park, seeing that face again in a few flashes...even having one when Freya's lips were on mine...why that person was appearing in my head...something's wrong and I needed to know why...that question must be answered now.

As I was already dressed up, I got up from the bed and decides to get out of my room, checking first that there was no one up at this moment in the little hallway before I got in it, making very silent steps to reach the door separating me from the main room. No one was up at the moment when I peeked my head to look inside the main room, all the little lights were shut off with only the moon's light enlightening the room, allowing me to get into it and walk towards the dashboard.

Once I arrived in front of it, the first thing that got my eyes' attention was that picture of that Park and the more I was looking at it, the more her face was coming like flashes in front of my eyes, making me look away from the dashboard with a bit of a struggle about that, still seeing her face before I suddenly got attracted by something that was on the desk near me, the one that Freya's using and that thing was labeled with an MI6 emblem on it...

"MI6?" I whispered, curious & confused to see a file like this and I was getting to put my hand over it before suddenly, I starts to hear something inside of my head...something that was...louder...a voice...multiples voices inside of my head...

"You're not yourself,"

"They're lying to you!"

"Don't trust Stitch!"

"You need to come back!"

"They're lying....lying...lying..."

"Who...what...who's lying?" I demanded like that, sounding very low as my hand was trying to grab the file to read it as I was trying to wonder who could be that voice that was sounding more different than the other voice that I have been hearing for some time. "Who's lying?" I repeated, taking the file in my hand...

"They're using you!"

"You're not what you're supposed to be!"

"You need to come back!"

"Don't trust them!"

"Stop," I whispered, the voice continuing inside my head and struggling with it as I managed to open up the file and take a look at it, discovering who is this Helen Park and why I was seeing her...until..."What the fuck?" I was shocked when I saw a picture of her....with none other than....me?....me?...with her?

"This is the truth!"

"They're lying, come back home!"

"You're used by them, it's all lies!"

"You need to resist, they're lying to you!"

"They're lying to you, they're lying to you...lying to you!"

"No, no, no, no...no!" The shock of seeing myself in that file with her and that voice in my head caused me to drop the file on the ground, my hands trembling about it and...I don't know what's happening to me but I wasn't feeling really great now.

I wasn't well...and I needed to come back into my bedroom, trying to figure out what the fuck did I just see, why was I with that Park on that picture, seeing myself with my right arm behind her? Why? Why do I still have her face coming in front of my eyes like that? Why do I...know her? All of these questions continues to flow inside my head as I got back inside my room, falling down in my bed and trying to understand what's going on...what's going on in my head, was it a dream I was making?

It has to be a dream, what's happening to me?

[tellywoodtrash]

immj2 02.11.20 lb

this fucking episode my dudes. i just went through it like...

business maharani is doing some more bitchification of bhaabi, ki dekho phir nikal gayi aapke peeche. even used the same lameass mandir excuse, the idiot, instead of coming up with something new.  

hubs like riddhima is a major pain in the ass, but she's MY PAIN IN THE ASS, where isss sheeee, why isn't she back yet???????? is she ok????????????

ishani getting a call about someone in the hospital and......

bitch, it's her friend who's in the hospital. why the fuck would anyone call ISHANI of all people if riddhima was in the hospital????

lo aa gayi.

gujarat registration gaadi waale bhaiyya was a careful driver. unlike literally everyone else on tellywood. good for him.

concern!maxxxxxxxxxxx about her haalat.

asks about her bleeding hand and she's like i'll tell you if you tell me about how YOUR hand got hurt. noice.

again, rrahul's not putting on the vansh voice in this scene and it's 300% more watchable. for the love of god stop directing him in a way that impedes his performance!!!!!!! LET THE MAN MOVE HIS FACE AND TALK IN HIS NORMAL VOICE!!!!!!!!!!!

cliche dialogue about “shareer ke ghaav jaldi bhar jaate hain par dil ke ghaav..........”

this asshole is like yeah who would know that better than me???? BITCH WHAT IS THIS, THE TRAUMA OLYMPICS???

she's thinking ki yeah, i'm not gonna fall for your fakeass parwaah anymore. good. i like. she needed this stupidass illusion of her's broken longggggggggg back.

ohohohohoho ib waala mangalsutra breaking and slipping off trope idhar bhi hai.

“tooti hui cheezein kabhi kabhi dobara nahi judti.”

dialogue maarke chali gayi, lol.

but notice she's the one who caught it anyway. which makes me think she's gonna choose him/this relationship YET AGAIN. *deeeeeeeepest sigh in the world that sucks up all the oxygen in the atmosphere*

“jaise mera dil.”

OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOH.

“lekin ab waqt aa gaya hai bohut se cheezon ko sahi karne ka.”

again, he looks menacing and all, but is probably just talking about making sure all the paperwork is up to date for upcoming end of year audits. he's a very rich accountant, remember???

ragini's medical reports have come.

lol being married to ishani is taking yearssssssss off angre's lifespan. roz naya tension, naya drama.

also, angre refers to vansh as "vansh bhai" when talking about him to ishani, but calls him "boss" when referring directly. interesting. veryyyyyyyyyyyyyyy interesting. you guys need to sort out that relationship, my dudes. it's the only stable, healthy one in this whole damn show.

ishani is like you're his right hand, what the hell are you doing about riddhima spying on him and getting all up in his business???????? dang, this might be the first conversation they're having about their only common interest: vansh's well being.

also i notice ki shivaay ke saare shirts angre ko diye gaye hain. huh, the shirts must have a kanji eyed wearer clause in their contract.

“mujhe shakti dijiye ke main apne emotions se upar uthke sahi ke saath khadi rahoon.”

damn, first time i've had a lil respect for riddhima. i mean, i know ultimately it's all gonna go to shit, but she's trying.

lmao a dhaarmik aarti version of the title track is playing. a version for every situation!

“main ragini ko bacha ke rahoongi. yeh mera aapse, ragini se, aur apne aap se vaada hai.”

YESSSSSSSSSSS BITCH, SISTERS OVER MURDEROUS MISTERS!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG WHY WON'T Y'ALL JUST DRESS HIM LIKE THIS, LIKE ARNAV, WITH THE SHIRT AND SWEATER COMBOOOOOOOOOOOOO. PLS GODDDDDDDDDDDD STOP DRESSING HIM WITH THAT STUPID SCARF WAALA BLAZERRRRRRRRRRRRR I BEG OF YOUUUUUUUUUU

he's talking to some shadow (def a woman) about how they're his humraaz about the whole ragini issue and nothing is hidden from them and how everything is going as they planned and the story will end soon.

it might be siya but omg i hope to goddddddddddddd it's ishani. i really really reallly want it to be ishani and see the hot demon siblings do some scheming and planning together. the sibs that conspire together, stay together!!!!!!!!!

menacing growling about riddhima and how he needs shadow chick's help in "handling" her, so that she doesn’t leave the house.

“chaahe VR mansion uske liye jail bann jaaye, i don't care.” cool, real healthy. also copied from this week's naagin 5. i'm telling you, these two shows be copying their homework off each other.

vansh leaning real hard on how he trusting shadow chick. hmmmm. reallyyyy hope it's ishani. though can’t say i wouldn’t be delighted if siya also turns out to be just as fucking twisted as him.

ofc ms. snoopy here has come to snoop. SIS TUM THAK NAHI JAATI KYA ISS SAB SE. MUJHE TOH DEKHTE HI THAKAAN HO GAYI HAI AND I NEEDS ME SOME GLUCON D.

“ragini riddhima se jeete-jee milna toh door, usse dekh bhi na sake.”

uh a little too late for that my man, lol. your girls already had a catchup session this afternoon. they're going for brunch and manis next weekend!

oh ho, she knows that angre's gone out. so this is def someone else in the house. DAMN, I'M REALLY INVESTED IN THIS SHADOW NOW.

yaaar, kya haalat bana rakhi hai shivaay ke room ki. best room hota tha iss set ka, aur isko bas ek random space banaa rakha hai.

ASLKFJSLDKJFLSDKJFLDKSF

this fucker crazyyyyy. like fulllll on flipping cray cray!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wow ok he's shaking from rage. more unhinged than i've ever seen him. which is really something. something scary as fuckkkkkkkk.

kudos to riddhima for just being like same old, same old, instead of being scared. i'm really liking i-give-no-fucks-riddhima.

DUDE. THIS FUCKER HAS COMPLETELY LOST IT.

also knife play copied from shivaay. this dude like a much much worse version of shivaay. never thought that would be possible, but never say never with ITV and the year 2020.

ok i don't like this angry version of him that's outta control, all shaking and growling and panting. not only is it really bad acting, it's hard to take seriously as menacing. ppl are always scarier when they're ice fucking cool with their anger.

blah blah blah some more growled warnings and riddhima and i are just here like............. “ok and????”

she's not even allowed to leave the room.

oooooh brave sis questioning him back and provokingggggggggg himmmmmmmmmm. got a death wish, this one, but i like her like this. i was sick of her just collapsing all over the place weeping. thaaaaaank god she found her longlost backbone.

“tum jaise haiwaan ki baat kabhi nahi maanungi.”

sarcastic slow clapping and slightly turned on by this show of dheentness.

“chalo aaj tumhari bahaaduri ko celebrate karte hain.”

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

“piyo, zeher nahi milaaya hai ismein.”

OK NOW THAT YOU SAID THAT I'M DEFINITELY THINKING THAT YOU HAVE.

omg ridhhimaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa you idiottttttt.

ok he's def put something in it. his face almost looking pitying as he takes the glass back.

“jaao. jahaan jaana hai jaao. nahi rokunga tumhe.”

ohhhhhhhhhh boy.

dslkfjsdlfkjdslkfjdslkjflkd her legs don't work no moreeeeeeeee.

THIS FUCKERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. JESUS CHRIST THIS CRAZY ASS FUCKING D;SLFKJ;SLDKFJ;LDSKJF;LDKJ

EVEN THE CHANNEL PUTTING BIG BOLD DISCLAIMER OVER THE SCENE LIKE THIS SHIT IS SERIOUSLY UNHINGED AND FICTIONAL THE CHANNEL ABSOLUTELY DOES NOT CONDONE THIS FUCKING MADNESSSSSSSSS

I CANNOT STOP SCREAMING THIS FUCKERRRRRRR IS OH MY FUCKING GOD WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK IS THIS THIS SHIT IS MAKING 4 LIONS MEN LOOK LIKE SOFT CUDDLY LIL SOFTBOIS I AM LITERALLY GOING OUTTA MY MIND WITH RAGE AND ANGUISH WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

i need a break. i seriously need a break to go cuddle my cat coz my god this deranged fucking showwwwwwwwwww.

ok cuddle break done. i’m not feeling any better but at least the tears of blood have stopped flowing from my eyes?

all i gots to say at this point is that CHEELANSHU SINGHANIA FROM NAAGIN 5 WOULD NEVER DO THIS. ONCE AGAIN SANKIIII CHEEL BOY >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> HUMAN MEN.

“haiwaan hoon main. rakshas hoon. aur rakshas kuch bhi kar sakta hai.”

electric chair for you, dude. ELECTRIC FUCKING CHAIR, GREEN MILE STYLE.

he literally gave her a paralytic.

“isse ek luxury relaxing spa treatment ki tarah enjoy karna.”

OMG I WISH I HAD SOMEONE MAKE ME SLIP INTO A PARALYTIC COMAAAAAAAAAA WHAT ELSE COULD A GIRL WANT FROM PRINCE CHARMING UWU TRUE WUVVVVVVVVV

omg inn paplu taplu ka chip waala naatak abhi bhi chal raha hai BIGGER THINGS HAVE HAPPENED IN THE HOUSE YOU IDIOTS KEEP THE FUCK UP LITERALLY NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR SADAA HUA MEMORY CARD ANYMOREEEEEEEEEE

anyway they decide to put it in the bank locker. omg why though, under the mattress was suchhhhhhh a safe and secure spot!!! badal kyun rahe ho tum log?!?!?!!?!?

“good morning.”

sis, lower half is paralysed. haath abhi bhi kaam kar rahein haina??? PICK UP WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU CAN GET YOUR HANDS ON AND HURL IT AT HIS FUCKING HEADDDDDDDDDDD

“don't worry, bas kuch der ki baat hai. uske baad tum apne pairon pe khadi ho sakti ho. main tumhari help kar deta hoon.”

TELLL HIM SIS. TELL HIM TO STAY THE FUCK AWAY AND NEVER EVER COME WITHIN A 3 DISTRICT RADIUS OF YOU. 

“phir se zidd. tumhara naam riddhima nahi, ziddhima hona chahiye tha.”

ok can't deny i lol'd at that.

OK NO BACK TO HATING HIM. PUNS WILL GET YOU NOWHERE WITH ME, YOU BLOODY PSYCHOPATH.

“abhi toh bas ek chota dose diya hai jiska asar sirf 10 ghante rehta hai.”

oh how sweet. such a considerate husband. Star Parivaar Pati of The Year you are. haan behen, aur rakho aise pati ke liye karwachauth.

“agar baat nahi maaani, toh agla dose double hoga.”

seriously though, where can i get one of these? all i want is to be put in a coma so that i don't have to be conscious anymore. esp with the USA election today............ give me a 5x dose, daddy.

YEAH RIGHT LIKE SHE'S EVER GONNA CONSUME ANYTHING YOU OFFER HER EVER AGAIN LOL

“tum chaahe kitni bhi koshish karlo vansh, main tumhe ragini ko nuksaan pohunchaane nahi dungi.”

determination toh behen ka top classssssssssssss hai. where do ppl get such mental will from? i face the slightest inconvenience and i need a 6 hour nap to cope.

LMAO VANSH YOU DUMBASS YOU LEFT HER WITH HER PHONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. YOU KNOW SHE'S A SPY AND HAS SOMEONE ON THE OUTSIDE. YOU WANTED HER NOT TO GET TO RAGINI BUT NOW SHE CAN JUST CALL WHOEVER SHE’S WORKING WITH TO GET RAGINI THE HELP. GOD, BEWAKOOFON KI TOLI HAI YEH SHOWWWWWWWW.

ab yaad aayi kabir ki. my god, he seems like such a mellow weirdo now compared to vansh, just into some casual costume-changing and quasi fratricide. almost a tolerable level of deranged compared to this other fucking madman.

sent a voice note to him.

SHE HEARD SOMEONE COMING AND FLUNG THE PHONE ACROSS THE ROOM INTO A PILE OF CLOTHES. OH HO WHYYYYYYYYYYYY, YOU COULD HAVE LITERALLY JUST HID IT BACK UNDER THE PILLOWS WHERE YOU FOUND IT!?!?!??!?!?!?

“hi riddhima! tumhe iss haal mein dekh kar, dil ko bohut sukoon mil raha hai.”

asldkfsjflkjdslfkjdl i honestly love her the most. she's so fucking petty and hilarious.

ishani is like thank god bhai has seen fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinally seen your real face.

“sirf vansh ne hi nahi, inn sab mein maine bhi vansh ka asli chehra dekh liya hai.”

“kya matlab hai tumhara?!?!!”

ok, i'm thinking ishani is shadow girl. from day 1, she’s wanted riddhima to see vansh in a certain way; as someone dangerous, the way he projects himself. (as opposed to dadi and siya who want her to see his soft side.) this statement from riddhima makes her wary that did she get close to the actual truth. INTERESTING. VERYYYYYYYYY INTERESTINGGGGG.

she's now grumbling about how vansh treats her much better than she actually deserves. I REALLY WANT MORE INSIGHT INTO THIS BROTHER SISTER RELATIONSHIP THEY HAVE IT'S SO INTRIGUINGGGGGGGG

le, kapde chale gaye laundry. phone ke saath.

———————————————————————

precap: kabir listened to the voice note and now him and mummy are in panic about ragini disclosing the truth about 3 years ago. RE DEVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. OFC THESE TWO WERE INVOLVED IN THAT KAAND TOO. LITERALLY EVERY ONE IN THIS SHOW IS A DERANGED MENACE TO SOCIETY.

kabir coming to meet riddhima.

but ofc.

ugh she turned back saying “K.........” and he's like there's literally no one in this house whose name starts with K.

*facepalms for allllll eternity till my godforsaken face itself falls off.*

i think i’ll go watch s2 of mirzapur now. i need something ~~~light and fluffffffffffy~~~ to take my mind off whatever the FUCK this was.

[rpbetter]

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y’all who see writing as an obstacle to getting down to action, be that smut, drama, or fight scenes...it’s literally a writing hobby

politics, any manner of phobe or ism, violent/non-inclusive feminists, purity/rpc/fandom/content police of any manner, and exactly any manner of racism, sexism, or religious intolerance - I give not a shit if it’s popular to hate the straights, for example, I neither believe in nor tolerate reactionary classifying of any group as blanket-statement evil

people who are going to tack onto my posts shit like, “it’s okay, OP, you can say x character.” Trust me, if I were talking about one character, I fucking would name drop them, don’t bring me into your fandom drama, I doubt I know or want to know who that anime guy is who looks like 12 other anime guys to me.

About Vespertine

You can call me that, Vespertine. I’d rather you didn’t go with Vesper, but as it is unfortunately so likely to happen, I won’t feed you to the dogs over it either. RPB Mun is also acceptable.

I’m alright with either she/her or he/him, they/them is also fine. Apparently, that was big enough clue-in for the poor reading comp crowd, so while I feel it is not of importance, I’m nonbinary, yes.

Late 30′s, chronically ill but still working adult with neurodivergence. I’m both busy and Busy, and always sick. This limits my brain power and ability to be here. I have an active RP blog that I won’t be sharing to keep responsible distance. That is always going to be my priority, it is my primary hobby.

Please, don’t tumblr message me totally random things if we don’t have that kind of relationship! I’m too ill and busy, and it really fucks my nerves to have a bunch of messages/have to suddenly interact socially with people. Don’t do it. Use my inbox, use the submit, comment on posts. I cannot do random messages of “hey” and so forth.

I only do written RP, don’t expect me to understand much of anything from tabletop. I’ve RPed for the last 23 years consistently, on every platform from AOL chats to forums to messengers and here. I also don’t do RP in discord, so I’m sorry, but I can’t advise you much on anything with a word count, except to stop it for serious RP. Other than that, I promise you that I’ve seen the trends, the drama, the fandoms. I can give a lot of advice and perspective on a wide range of topics, situations, and characters! When I don’t have a clue at all, I’ll try to do enough research to give you an answer.

Do I come off as a horrible, strict asshole? I do! I’m not going to say that I am just a shy bean who is more scared of you than you are me. I’m not. I’m honestly feral, but have common decency, compassion, and sense. All of which are lacking in the general RPC. So, if you can inbox/common/otherwise interact with anyone else on this site, you can totally handle me!

Honesty and openness are policies.

And in the spirit of that, I repeat; you can fucking do better, tumblr RPC!