#and like. when i finish building i don't feel accomplished. there's always this moment of 'okay now what'

[wasyago]

two builds from creative as well

interior practice + a funky house that is also a functional survival base ( admittedly tho made out of very late-game materials )

[richaunt]

the Keys to your dream life PT 1

Always wondered how to achieve everything? Don't worry, I'm here to tell you how.

✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶

1. You've got the power

I know you heard that a gazillion times and you're gonna hear it again but you need to realise that you're the operant power of your reality. And that goes in both good and bad ways (eg: At one of my past job, I would always thought that I do a shitty job and turns out I would always make mistake either small ones or really big ones that nearly made me lose the job.) That's an exemple of a shiXXy assumption and belief, don't reproduce my dumb ass mistake please. But if you constantly assume negative things, negative things will constantly happen, on top of that it's not only the world around you that change according to your belief but it also take a toll on YOU and who you are (taking back my above exemple I would assume I was bad at the job and stupid, so I would always be stressed and mad at myself which reduced my focus, made me want to finish the work faster and also badly and I was actually looking dumb because I would make dumb mistake because of my lack of focus) all of that altered my own view of myself, which in turn made me underperform at work, I'm not stupid and I was totally able to do the work but my perfectionism and assumption of not being enough got the best of me. If I had been reasonable at that time, instead of drowning in despair, I'd have actually turn around my view and things would changed. So enough with my life stories, you need to truly understand that you create your life everything you believe in turns true, the simplest example I have of it is do you believe in ghost? If yes you probably have experienced some paranormal things if no then you have not, so in your reality they may exist or not, up to you to decide. So do you believe that you can get your dream life? If yes then you're experiencing it NOW if no then obviously you won't. Be unshakeable in that belief. Don't let other people, past circumstances (past can be reviewed too so f the past Babe). So as the first "rule" (there's no rules in manifestation Babe you deserve you're dream no matter what" ) is to believe in yourself, in your power, you are fully capable and deserving of having your dreams , genuinely why would other people be worth it and not you? You are lucky and worthy too. Never believe you don't have full control and responsibility of everything because you have it. Now if you feel you don't have control, feel lost or even undeserving, let's go to the other point.

2. Know yourself, love yourself

I think one of the biggest mistake I made is let people decide for me, assume for me. All my belief were build by people around me, I only relied on people view of me or the world, and If those were negatives then mine would be too. For a great half of my life I let people decide for me, I went into some studies because my friend wanted too, she decided we should make a YouTube account and post videos and you know what I agreed and I even paid the camera + lights and other accessories for it and for what? Have her attack me because I didn't have enough money to go on a random trip with her even though I tried to explain that I was in a very bad place at the moment, I got sh×xted on the back of my neck just like that even thought I tried everything to be around that friend and accomplish our plans just to get insulted and ditched, fool I was . Anyways back on track, if you let people control you, you're going to end up in alone and sad, being a people pleaser is one of the greatest illness and most of us are sick. Also when you are a people pleaser, you just lose yourself in others, and if you are controlled by your parents then you probably don't even know who you are. And that is the one of the worst thing someone could experience ( my a$$ obviously has experienced it 😋) not knowing yourself feels like you're constantly detached from life, you don't know what you should do next and you always try to ask other for advice, always putting the answers of your future to people and other thing (Avid Tarot reading people I SEE and FEEL you) because yes searching constantly from answer by other ways than directly asking people is still searching for direction because YOU are not connected to YOU, now I'm not saying you're completely detached from yourself, the problem is you gave too much importance to others instead of you, you put people above you, you forget that the only one who has the answer you so desperately seeking for is YOU and only you (there is nothing outside of you so why would their "advice" matter).

Now I want you to sit your a$$ down for 6 seconds, grab a cute notebook or paper and a pen, write: Who are you?What is your personality like at YOUR CORE (how you want to be which truly is who you are at your core, life and others have just made you diminish your life but since you are in fact shining who are you? ) What do you like? What have you liked as a kid? What bring you joy? And peace? If you're not sure what you like (I know that feeling of not even knowing your passion) what would you like to try? Why? What do you want to manifest( explain in details the what and why)? If the world was stripped down of all these expectations and restrictions what would you wish for the most? That's the first easy part remember to answer without thinking about what others have told you, answer with your heart, your intuition, with YOU.

Now take another paper or page and it needs to be separated from the other questions and then answer them:Why do you think you're not enough? What have happened to make you feel like that? Why do you need validations from others? What have happened? Don't you think you're the only one who can give you all the validations you need? (ONLY VALID ANSWERS TO THAT ONE IS YES)Why do you feel the need to hide behind a mask? Diminish your authentic self? We're you once shamed for being you? If yes then it's probably because they themselves cannot be their authentic selves so therefore they bleed their jealousy and pain onto you. Do that with all the things that seems to pull you backward instead of forward. Now last questions: Why do you think you can't manifest? Now take a deep breath, write at the end of those questions, fully believe in it, say it out loud even if it helps " I let go of this, it's part of my old story so it does not belong in my present, all that has held me back is now gone, I am now forever lucky and blessed" then flush that paper down the toilet or burn it because all that bs isn't you, has never be you and will never be, you're free, you're powerful never let anyone or anything tell you otherwise. You're past pains are valids, you're traumas are valid but they don't define who you are and they shouldn't control you. You are you, you are not what the outside has told you, you are not the circumstances that happened to you, it has happened and it has hurt and changed you. You have learned from it, you have grown from it, you are stronger than it, now let that burden go and be you.Now that you know who you are, what you want (if you're not sure still it's fine go slow, time does not exist) Learn to love yourself, truly your qualities and FLAWS, all the uglies and beauty about you, ALL of you deserve love from You, I'm pretty sure I've heard someone say " Love even you're darkest/meanest part because they tell you were you pain and lack of love are" don't be mad at yourself for being angry, your body tells you that something someone told or do has hurted you so obviously your body and brain signals you to defend yourself, its to protect you, also what has triggered you? That's also a great way to know yourself again, see were you pain and anger lies and you will discover thing about you. You should love that about you, how you body shows you thing about you, keep you healthy, support you, isn't it amazing? Isn't you're body amazing?( ONLY VALID ANSWER iS YES) Love your body, it's gorgeous on top of keeping you alive. Love your soul, your emotions, your intuitions, its all part of you, so therefore it's all amazing, I don't care that you don't like the way you look it's bs if beauty standard didn't exist you would see yourself as gorgeous because that's what you are, love yourself because you are beautiful already. Love yourself because I know you're kind and compassionate and the only thing you want now it's to finally get the life you deserve, and you deserve it. Work on that self love, if you want too of course it has helped me, maybe it could help you too.

See you next part, lil one 🩷

[writingquestionsanswered]

I have this problem that finally showed up after many years, I'm a few chapters away from completing my book. After almost 5 years writing this through happy times and sad times, I'm finally done! Yet, I can't move on. Instead of being happy to finally complete my passion project, I feel myself grieving the eventuality. I spent years building my world, story, characters etc... and now I don't want it to end, I don't want to complete it. Suffering from success if you will.

Do you have any tips on this fear of completion? My book is set up as a stand-alone, so making a sequel wouldn't work.

Have you ever had this "completion grief" and if so, how did you move on from it?

Thank you

Dealing with Creative Grief When Story is Done

It's normal to feel grief upon completion of a story, especially one that you've been working on a long time and/or has been emotionally demanding. Here are some things you can do to help work through this feeling:

1 - Be Proud of Your "Baby Bird" - Your baby bird has flown your now empty nest, but take a moment to recognize the beauty of this moment... this project you've worked so hard on is now complete and ready to fly away. You've done everything you can for it, so now it's time to let it spread its wings and live a life of its own. As much as it's sad, it's exciting, too. And it's a huge accomplishment!

2 - Find Closure with Celebration - Many creatives find celebration a helpful way to find closure when a project is finished. This can be something small, like ordering pizza or enjoying a glass of champagne, or it could be something bigger, like having a nice dinner out with friends, or even throwing a little party. Having any sort of event to mark the occasion can help it to feel more final, but in a way that is happy and comforting.

3 - Start a New Project - With one project finished and out in the world, you may find it helpful to start planning a new project, or at least start thinking about one. Throwing that leftover creative energy into something new helps with that sense of emptiness, distracts you from creative grief due to the finished project, and heals your heart with enthusiasm for a new world, new characters, and new plot.

4 - Schedule a Future Visit - Sometimes it helps to plan to revisit the completed project in some way at a future date. That could be reading it at some point, if you're able to read through finished projects and enjoy them. It could be creating a collection of mood boards for the story and characters and sharing them with your readers. It might be doing a reading of the first chapter on an Instagram live, or--hear me out on this--writing a companion story. Now, I don't mean writing a sequel or even a story that you'd share necessarily, but more something for yourself, kind of like fan-fiction of your own work, just as a way to get into your story and revisit the characters and world. And truth be told, if you plan to do this--say on the six-month anniversary of when your story was finished--it will give you a sense of the story living on that will help you get through your grief now, but by the time you get to that point, you probably won't need to do it anymore.

5 - Wait for It To Pass - Of course the hard thing about any kind of grief is there's not a whole lot you can do to make it go away. For the most part, you just have to acknowledge that it's there and give yourself the grace needed to get through it. Most of the time, it passes more quickly than you might expect, and you'll be onto something new in now time.

I hope that helps!

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I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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[loftec]

Last week's Weekly Tag Wednesday!

Because I was festival prepping last week and had zero time for anything else but now I'm back and ready for some tags! Thank you @wehangout @mmmichyyy @michellemisfit for the tag (and also @deedala & @jrooc for the picrew tags!) <3

Name and A03 handle: lofty / loftec

Current Location: Sofa, living room.

Favorite picrew (don't have one? you can skip this or do this one)? I can't remember if I have a favourite one, so I'll just do this one!

The "SF" probably stands for something, but I immediately thought of Svensk Filmindustri and thought that was fun.

What's one thing you want in a picrew?

MORE GLASSES OPTIONS omg please. Colour and shape. I also really love it when I can build the hair in sections so I can colour my roots differently than the rest of the hair. Also, worse hair options. Come on, normalise 'I've got no hair texture or interest or time to do anything about it'. I feel like an imposter whenever I pick one of these perfectly swooshy dos.

Favourite thing you’ve created (or seen created) for the fandom?

None the wiser

Why is it your favourite? It's mad to think about but it was the first thing I decided to make for this fandom, and I'm still working on it (very very slowly) I don't know if I've ever spent this much time and effort on anything else. It's very special to me.

Did it come easily or was it hard to create? Both, right now it's very hard, but it usually comes back around.

Last ao3 fic you commented on? A Dead Boy Detectives fic, I'm pretty sure.

Biggest WIP heartache you’ve ever experienced? I'm embarrassed to admit that I don't usually read WIPs, not really because they're unfinished but because I don't often read long fic lol. My ideal fic for reading is a concise 5k oneshot, I am a terrible hypocrite.

Favorite trope or head cannon you like included in a fanfic? I do love a good outside perspective on Ian and Mickey's relationship not fully getting their dynamic and misunderstanding their special flavour of love. Also really like different canon-divergent stories where they get separated in different moments and then reunited in the future in various ways.

Least favourite? For most ships / fandoms I read fic of, I usually develop a set of icks that cause me to click out more or less immediately, often it's to do with a certain nickname or expression or act that I can't physically stand, or, you know, which signal a fundamental mismatch between mine and the author's focus/interests/views. Unfortunately, any mention of anything happening after season 5 has become a bit of an ick for me, which is deeply unfair to writers who embrace the later half of the show.

Secret or surprising kink or trope? No, I'm extremely basic tbh. My favourite time to read fic for a new fandom is always at the very start when everybody is writing the same super basic story over and over again.

Describe how you feel after you’ve created something new? The best feeling is when I know I've written the last sentence of a story or a chapter, it's always so clear that this, this is it, that's where it ends. I feel really accomplished and complete in that moment and it's great. Then there's still hours and hours of editing after that and it's usually 4 in the morning and I'm feeling slightly unhinged when I actually post.

Top hype man you have that always helps you get across the finish line: I tend to keep to myself when I'm working on something, but I can always rely on @mittimellan @wideblueskies & @the-rat-wins if I ever need to ramble about anything.

It's been a bad day, you turn to the fandom and you _____? Lurk and enjoy the good vibes and crafts. I probably also find something in my bookmarks that I've already read a thousand times and read it again.

[cryptidsurveys]

Wednesday, July 31st, 2024.

What’s the most worthwhile thing you’ve done in the last year? It's difficult to pinpoint just one thing. It was more like an accumulation of worthwhile things that eventually built up to where I am today (and will hopefully continue to build up to greater accomplishments in the future). Also, this didn't all take place within the last year, but I feel like going back to the "beginning" is important for setting the foundation. It kind of started back in March of 2023. I started making art again, and I actually managed to keep up with it. Not only did it activate my creative mind, but it gave me this sense that I really could stick with something if I just put my mind to it.

Then, around the end of May 2023, I took a chance and went back to volunteering at the animal shelter again. I used to have a really hard time managing my emotions/reactions in social situations, so I was terrified that something was going to set me off and I was going to ruin it. There were things that I found upsetting or hurtful, that struck at my core fears; however, I was determined to push past them and refused to let them get the best of me. At first, I was there 3-4 days a week from about 8am-10am, but around Oct/Nov, I started showing up even earlier, staying until morning cleaning was finished (so 11am give/take), and going 4-5 days a week.

Also, it was in Oct that I started learning how to drive again. I progressed pretty quickly and began driving to the shelter. Prior to that, my dad used to take me. He'd do their laundry or write while I worked back in cattery. Anyway, some days I would go alone; other days I would drive with or get a ride with him. Then, around the end of May of this year, he had some procedures done which took him out of shelter work for a while. I continued to drive alone. By then, I was at the point where I was there from around 7am-11am/5 days a week.

I maintained that for a while quite comfortably, but just recently, I started trying out full days. Basically, I'd get there between 7am-8am and stay until closing, which tends to be sometime between 5pm-6pm. Currently, I'm doing 3 full days and 2 half days a week. I'm still adjusting, as it was a huge jump and it is pretty exhausting, especially the last push before closing, but I feel like it's something I can sustain. I'm hoping to get to the point where I can manage 4 full days and 1 half day, which would put me at approximately 40-45 hrs.

In between all that, I continued to work hard in therapy, cultivate my daily routines, carve out restful moments just for me, etc. Oh, and I almost forgot - I got back in touch with my mom in June/July 2023. I think it's mainly due to the work I've done on myself that our relationship is working out in a positive way. I don't think things would have lasted if I was still in my pre…hmm. I'm not even sure what to call it. My pre-SOMETHING mindset. Idk, but there was just this huge shift in my thinking somewhere along the way that made it possible. And even after typing all of this out, I still don't think I've even scratched the surface of the changes that have been taking place within me. It's like…for the first time in a long, long time…I have hope that I'm not broken, that I really can have a relatively normal, functional, adult life.

What foods make you want to gag? Anything overly fishy. Or seaweed. I've tried it a few times now, thinking that I'll finally like it, but nope - I never do.

Do you consider yourself to be organized? Maybe in a chaotic way. I try to be neat and organized, but I am such a forgetful scatterbrain.

Have you ever made out with someone? Yeah.

What time do you get sleepy? I'm almost always sleepy, especially these days.

What music do you listen to? I like classical, classic rock, grunge, metal, some country and indie/folk…the occasional pop song… My tastes are all over the place. If I like it, then I like it; it doesn't really matter what genre it is.

How old were you when you started to walk? I have no idea. I guess the usual/expected age.

Which member of your family do you get along with the best? My dad.

What cheers you up when you’re sad? Chatting with my dad, cuddling with my cats, making art, listening to my favorite YouTubers, trips to the Mountain Park, being at the animal shelter…and honestly, sometimes it just takes time. It's not any one thing specifically; it's just getting on with life and trusting that whatever is bothering me in the moment probably won't be bothering me in a few days, a few weeks, or whatever. I'll be bothered by something brand new by then. ;D

What do you sleep in? Sweats, a t-shirt, and a hoodie if it's cool enough.

Have you ever tanned topless? No.

Wear jewelry? I have lip piercings and I will sometimes wear several rings.

What’s something you’ve been told you’re good at? Cat whispering~*~~**~

How much can you eat? I can eat a whole lot, especially when I go out to eat, but it's not really in my best interest. I prefer to eat several small meals spaced throughout the day. It keeps my energy levels up, keeps my migraines at bay, etc.

What’s the furthest away you’ve ever traveled? East and west coasts of the USA.

Are you a cat or dog person? Definitely more of a cat person.

Have you ever done drugs? Eh.

What does your room look like? Spacious, somewhat minimal and whimsical, white/peach walls, teal carpets, lots of natural morning light… Really gives me vibes of safety, coziness, comfort…

Recommend a really amazing book. As far as relatively recent reads go, House of Suns. It's not "timelessly amazing" like some books, but I did greatly enjoy it.

Recommend a really amazing song. Idk.

Recommend a really amazing movie. Idk.

Who’s your favorite actor/actress? I don't have one.

Have you ever run away from home? Not seriously.

Do you exercise ever? Not specifically/intentionally, but I get a lot of exercise working at the shelter.

Do you like your hair, the way it is and the color? I'm fine with it. Sometimes I think I might like to get it actually styled, but…I'm lazy.

Do you have any friends named Baloo? Or is he just in the Junglebook? No.

Are you a Disney movie fan? I wouldn't classify myself as a fan, but I do like a handful of Disney movies.

Do you eat seafood? Not often.

When was the last time you cried? Oops, I had to redo this answer because I realized I was mistaken. The last time I cried was actually last Friday. I kind of already went over it in a previous survey, but it was just this defeated sense of doing my best and pushing myself so hard - really getting out of my comfort zone on a regular basis - but still feeling like a constant outsider. I don't want to get into the exact situation because it was probably just me overthinking things, but yeah.

Do you have good working habits? I mean, they're still developing, but I guess they're alright.

So where the hell do you want to go in life? At this point, all I'm asking for is a stable, quiet, and generally content existence. Nothing fancy, nothing flashy. Just the ability to provide for myself and survive.

What are your boundaries? That's…actually a really good question. Even though I'm very guarded and emotionally distant, I feel like I have pretty poor boundaries. I don't stick up for myself or speak my mind very well. I just let everything pass through me, feign ignorance or obliviousness, smile and nod, etc. I am a person without a form.

What are some of the funniest things you can think of? Idk.

What are two quirky little things about you? I don't knoOoW. I'm just weird in general. Everything about me is quirky.

Are you claustrophobic? Not seriously.

Do you like getting wasted? Ooh, that's complicated. The thinking part of my brain knows better, but the drinking part feels an almost irresistible drive to continue until I'm incapacitated. I did manage to have a few sample beers at the fundraising event last Friday without issue (and was comfortably verging on tipsy), but afterward, I was like…oh man. This is why I don't really drink anymore…because I could feel that siren song to drink to oblivion.

List three things that you look for in a friend. Compassionate, good sense of humor, similar interests.

Do you prefer Angels and Airwaves or Rihanna? Neither.

What religion are you, if any? N/a.

If your house was on fire (and your family escaped), what would you save? Do my cats count as family? If not, I would save them; if yes, then I guess I would save…idk, maybe some clothes, my phone, and a few precious items.

Do you have any sash belts? No.

What do you have on right now? Include everything, nail polish, makeup, etc. Dark gray sweats, black t-shirt, and a dark blue hoodie.

Does caffeine make you hyper? No. It can help wake me up a bit, but it doesn't make me hyper.

[bengiyo]

The Warp Effect Ep 12 (Finale) Stray Thoughts

The week of finales continues! I was forever changed by My School President. Will this show change me as well?

Last time, things finally came to a head at Jedi and Rose's wedding, which used prom as its theme. Jedi and Rose continued to make me believe in long term romance. See-ew committed the cardinal sin of proposing at someone's wedding. Mollie and Nim managed to reconcile a bit. Joe and Army danced in public, and are building their romance. Alex learned that the sex ed teacher was his bio dad and refused to forgive him for abandoning his mom. Alex tried to reconcile with Jean, but Jean refused. Kat is hanging out with Tony now. Alex learned that the camera came from his bio dad.

As always, so much happens on this show.

I do enjoy the sci-fi conceits of someone experiencing this huge period of time, and then returning to an earlier moment. Everyone else being so confused amuses me.

I also like Alex immediately going to reassure his little brother.

Clize and Sing are so funny together. I hope we see them paired again.

Alex getting ahead of the Mollie issue by kissing her himself is unexpected, but makes sense to keep it from becoming a rift between Nim and Mollie.

Oh, Alex, please don't out Army and Joe.

Yep, they're still closeted jocks, so yeah that's definitely the same outcome.

Jojo definitely likes Kill Bill, Vol. 2.

I love Jedi and Rose so much. Mark and Best look so comfortable together.

Have we not learned our lessons about drinking too much??

Jojo, why have you joined the ranks of people forcing me to witness vomit??

Ah, nice. Shielding the gays is the right move.

I swear if Jean gets expelled still because of these photos....

Fah is also so funny. She actually works really well with New. Cutting off the music when she passes out was fantastic comedic timing.

Alex is still a people pleaser, but I like him being confident about helping people.

I actually like the chemistry between New and Fah a lot.

I'm never getting over the BTS clip where Clize slaps Sing so hard that he walked away stunned.

This elevator make out competition is peak Jojo. Best, Clize, Mark, and Sing are so amazing.

It's a bit contrived, but I really like how far a little earnest validation is carrying all of these couples.

Even Sarran gets a nod.

Oh, I do love creating the intro at the end.

Absolutely comedic poses for Jean and Alex's consensual first time. Still, that was much nicer than what happened originally.

This friend group is honestly impressive if they all not only stayed in their pairs, they also remained friends for a decade.

Kinda hope Alex gets the memories of the better ten years and doesn't have to piece those together too.

Final Verdict: 10, Highly Recommended. This show was an absolute delight from start to finish. I cannot overstate how impressive it is that this show remained legible despite the sheer volume of threads it was managing. This show managed to be funny and sexy, while still continuing the mission to make people more comfortable with their bodies and aware of their own sexual health. It also managed to accomplish those educational goals without feeling like an after school special. It's also the queerest show we've gotten to enjoy in quite some time. I'd say in some ways it cared more about queer issues than some of the BLs we've watched. Please watch and enjoy this.

[boltlightning]

Stupid question maybe but how do you find time and energy and excitement to read books?

Don't get me wrong, I like reading as a form of media. And I have a couple of fanfics I'm keeping up with, and even ones I reread. I think it's important for my vocabulary and on seeing the world. Surprisingly, a fanfic I read helped me a lot in understanding and processing complex trauma.

But at the same time, books intimidate me. I bought a book I know I want to read but actually reading it just scares me. Maybe this is the TikTok attention span (although I always just read with music and in bed). Or the fact I know the book is an emotional piece, either way I can't get myself to start.

Or perhaps it's the fact my brain feels overfull with so much that there's no place for new media unless it's in an universe I'm already familiar with, or forced down my throat by proxy/society.

Are you just inherently excited to read about stuff, or do you also have like a moment where you fight yourself to get started to read?

Also please feel free to ramble about more books you think people should read!

this is an EXCELLENT question, and one i don't know that i'm the best person to answer! i'm pretty flighty about reading and have only gotten back into it within the last two years or so, and largely during lockdown. i have a miserable, internet-y attention span as well, and with so much competing for our attention these days, it can be REALLY hard sitting down somewhere quiet with a book and tuning everything out. i definitely relate.

firstly, i think that fic is a great way to get back into reading! they build up your attention span, depending on the fic, and let you understand what kind of stories you like to read for free, even if it's involving characters you already know. reading work by your peers is always, always valuable.

specifically for the book you own that you know you want to read: make a date with the book! like, literally, set a date and time you know you're free, put an alarm in your phone. put the book somewhere you can see it every day. mentally prepare yourself for it as the hour approaches. do this until you find yourself wanting to pick it up on your own, or until you finish the book. making it a chore seems counterintuitive but sometimes it's the only way to get started.

more tips for getting back into reading in general are below the cut. in general i've sorta...bullied myself into remembering i enjoy this activity. that's also come with the realization that being kind to myself and knowing my preferences are key to building the habit up.

my more learned mutuals, if you have anything to add or books to recommend, please do!!

it's ok to only read what you want to read. it's ok to not finish books. you don't NEED to read big-brain nonfiction or archaic classics if you're not interested in them. and if you don't like something, put it down. you don't have to stay in the world if you don't like it!

use the one-third rule: this works for all other media too. if you start to read something and don't immediately jive with it, read until you're 1/3rd of the way through. if nothing's happened to grab you, that usually means that the book isn't for you and you can move on. you gave it a fair shake! you can let go! this often helps me realize i'm in the headspace for a different kind of story, and that's ok!

make it an accomplishment. i have an awful and ugly spreadsheet where i write down what books i've read this year, when i finished them, and what i thought. my favorite part of finishing a book is writing a short stupid review in this spreadsheet. it's only for me, and yet it feels good to check names off a list.

read books with peers. a huge part of why i read jane austen's novels was because i wanted to understand what everyone on tumblr was talking about, and it's been very fun!! as much as i begrudge it, i think this is the appeal of booktok, honestly — it's fun to meme on stories with your friends. you don't necessarily need to join a book club, but it can be really encouraging to read a book your friend recommended and read it so you can talk to/joke with them about it.

find out how you like to read, and when/where you'll actually do it. for instance, i haaaate audio books and refuse to read on my phone. i'll save good/exciting books to read on the exercise bike to reward myself for biking, or make a fancy coffee to accompany a book i'm struggling to start. treat yourself. trick your brain into associating the physical act of reading with the happy brain chemicals.

reread stuff you liked when you were into reading. i own most of my favorite books just for this purpose. there is no shame in rereading! there is no age limit on any book!! if i feel like my writing is suffering i will usually revisit a childhood favorite just to kickstart my brain.

books i would recommend for getting back into reading (these are all fiction and mostly fantasy/sci-fi. sorry. just what i'm into)

the princess bride by william goldman

a wizard of earthsea by ursula k. le guin

howl's moving castle by diana wynne jones

inkheart by cornelia funke

forestborn by elayne audrey becker

fireborne by rosaria munda

treasure island by robert louis stevenson (language is old, but it's a classic for a reason)

spinning silver by naomi novik. i liked uprooted by her too but it's not as universally loved. damn i should reread these

everyone go read temeraire right now please. thanks

a psalm for the wild-built by becky chambers

nettle & bone by t. kingfisher

the blue castle by l.m. montgomery

this is how you lose the time war by amal el-mohtar and max gladstone

books i would recommend if you want something more toothsome

pride and prejudice by jane austen (again, language is old, but what a banger. persuasion is my favorite by her but a lot heavier)

another oldie: north and south by elizabeth gaskell (although it is often described as pride and prejudice but in the industrial era)

piranesi by susanna clarke

the lies of locke lamora by scott lynch (i would've put this in the previous category if i could. this is great fun, but SO dense)

feast of sorrow by crystal king

the left hand of darkness by ursula k. le guin

notes from the burning age by claire north

genuinely: shakespeare. if you liked a play when you were in school you should reread it as an adult, on your own terms, with a glossary pulled up. they take at most 2 hours to read. i prommy.

i hope...any of this is helpful. again, mutuals, please feel free to add recs or tips <3

[gascon-en-exil]

Could you do 2 and 3 for the ask meme? What about 37?

2. Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?

Not exactly a trope, but I'd like to branch out from the semi-canon-compliant work I've been mostly sticking to in my first fic. I feel like the later chapters, which are mostly set after the story canon has all wrapped up, are where I got to be among the most creative in terms of ideas and with what I actually wanted to see from these characters.

That's a big reason that I think that I might actually be able to follow up on this and turn it into a series, now that I've laid the groundwork for where and how this continuity does and does not adhere to canon. That's been fun on a meta level, as a (hopefully subtle?) way of working through issues I have with Octopath Traveler II's story aside from just writing meta about it like I would with Fire Emblem or most other properties, but eventually those issues run out and one is left looking at these characters and wondering where they should go next.

3. Is there a trope you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole?

Omegaverse springs to mind. I can understand the appeal of it intellectually, in part thanks to @theeeveetamer who writes Omegaverse and talks about it regularly, but I've determined that it's not really for me. If you know anything about some of my other interests you'd think it might be...but nope. It might be a bit distasteful to pull my - as someone once derisively described it, specifically referencing me - "man in fandom" card, but I think a big part of my indifference to Omegaverse is that I do have an unfair advantage over many readers and writers in M/M erotic fic spaces. I'm actually gay and have quite a lot of sexual experience to draw on because of my offline work, which happens to align closely with the standard profile of (cis) gay smut in transformative fandom. As such I always look at Omegaverse and find myself thinking about comparatively more mundane kinks that accomplish the same goals, kinks that can fit more readily into a variety of fictional contexts and don't require a hyper-specific AU to function.

That said, I do find many of the common arguments against Omegaverse - that it replicates heteronormative dynamics, that it's adjacent to bestiality - to be quite dumb and not worth entertaining. Even when kinks aren't to my taste, I don't see much point in judging them.

37. Talk about your current wips.

I appreciate that you separated this one, anon, because it's one of those that's pretty awkward for me to answer at the moment. The fic I'm working on is only a WIP publicly at this point; I finished it around the time I posted the first chapter, and have only been making edits intermittently since then because I've been told that staggering chapters is better for engagement. Still, it's what I've got - so let's go with that.

Putting this story together and publishing it have certainly been interesting experiences, and I've gotten some positive feedback from the approximately ten other people who ship Osvald/Partitio. Part of me is annoyed that I chose to start writing for a rare pair in such a small fandom as OT2, and that I didn't start out with something like Dimidue or Ferdibert instead...but FE's settings just don't speak to me in the same way. (Also, back when Houses was the hot new thing I was writing meta and fending off fan wank, and later getting a feel for YouTube, so I was quite busy elsewhere.)

I discovered pretty quickly that I have two preferred modes when writing fic. The first is the same sort of meandering, almost fairytale-esque disassociated narrator voice like what you'd find in my ship meta that actually verge on short fics themselves, ex. my attempt at building the crack ship Diarmuid/Tristan. The second is dialogue, to the point that for several scenes, particularly later in the fic, I sometimes felt as though I were writing a play. I'm not great with action scenes, which is one reason I skipped over most of the ones that had to be worked around in canon. I did come up with a rather cheeky way to nod toward that in the epilogue...though whether anyone else finds it funny remains to be seen.

But yes - it's been educational, and I am now firmly in rare pair hell. There's an entertaining spitefulness to it: that while YouTube's algorithm has pushed me into being a dedicated FETuber with only the occasional vanity project on the side, over on Archive Of Our Own I'm becoming known for my work in a completely different fandom.

[sidesteppostinghours]

Hewooo, good morninggg!

ask game time ✨

For Caine: Philia 4 + Storge 3 in the context of tbe farm or tia elena

For Cyrus: Eros 1 + Storge 4 (sibling au ✨) + Philautia 4

im probably a few hours late when i finish answering this, but morning idle :D! hope you had a good one

Philia 4. Is your OC able to build close friendships with people very different from themselves? Perhaps in terms of culture, age or personality?

i was thinking about this yesterday on my way home from uni actually. the answer is yes, but with one baseline requirement: anybody they become close with needs to be able to ground them in one way or another. mortum and argent are possible, he appreciates their bluntness and strict boundaries. he likes to listen to mortum and occasionally bounce off ideas with her. he already holds respect for argent, and given time, she couldve grown to be a trusted confidante. however, they want to keep mortum as a purely business relationship at the moment, and argent already scared them off before anything could happen. heralds not getting any further than coach or "he seems nice", they like him but they get a headache whenever theyre in a room with him for too long. other than that, anybody goes. hes not picky.

Storge 3. How far does parental approval (imagined or expressed) impact upon their current sense of self-worth? What might they sacrifice or attempt to achieve in order to ensure the approval of their parents?

the answer varies wildly for either, so ill answer for both. in the case of tia elena, parental approval is a bit shocking to him, like with most relationship dynamics. they like it, they just cant fathom the fact that theyre getting percieved, much less in a positive light. hed do a lot to get more, its fascinating to him and it makes him feel like hes doing a good job. but its something they can easily give up if the situation calls for it (aka theyre my only step tia elenas 'im-not-mad-im-just-disappointed' look wouldnt work on).

the farm is...a very different story. they were made to be a tool, and if its a tool they want, a tool they shall get. before their escape he was very single-minded when accomplishing missions. get the job done in any way possible. consequences arent for him to worry about, he only needs to worry about if they mess up. which they wont. they make sure of it. after their escape he leans less into that mindset, but its difficult to let go of, and still bleeds into his relationships most of the time. they dont like to think about the fact they wouldve sacrificed anything for the farm back then, and that theyre not sure they wouldnt sacrifice anything now if the right people asked it from them.

Eros 1. Is your OC romantic in the traditional sense? Do they enjoy giving or receiving gifts of flowers or confectionary? Or are there other courtship traditions from their culture of origin that are important to them?

nobody but him is allowed to be romantic. thats it thats the answer were moving on

in all seriousness, he does do traditionally romantic things alot, though most of them are for the reaction, not courtesy. roses and flowers are a common way for him to try and fluster his dates, and the two people hes dated are both sappy suckers so its worked most of the time. the exception is gift giving, because most of his gifts are handmade, so he tries not to make a big deal about it. unfortunately, his partners always do.

receiving romantic gestures should be something hes used to at this point, but hes not, so it always catches him off gaurd. its embarrassing, but the most embarrassing part is that he gets strangely touched by it. he probably still has a teddy gifted to him thats never seeing the light of day. oh, and chocolates are always welcome. thats just good food.

Storge 4. Does your OC have any siblings? If so then did their parents have a favourite growing up? Has their relationship with their sibling changed in adulthood? If they don't have any siblings then do they perhaps feel they have missed out on an important relationship? Do they have any especially close friends who go some way towards filling that role?

sibling au time✨

does the farm have the normal version of a favourite?? no. do they have a favourite 'im gonna fuck them up for fun' sibling? yes and thats fawn. north is a bastard and he frequently makes cyrus dream of murder. as for how their relationships all changed, cyrus used to be closer to his siblings. a Lot closer. of course, the farm changed that. he became cruel and harsh, which fawn couldnt connect with. even with river who wants to be evil, cyrus became obsessive about control after heartbreak, which i dont think river appreciates. his mental imprint changed extremely, and he started shielding around them. needless to say their relationship was estranged for a good while, but cyrus can never stay away from the people he cares about.

Storge 5. Which of your OC's qualities makes them the most proud? Do they think more people should be like them in this regard? Or do they quite like being rare in possessing it?

hes proudest of his ability to stay logical and composed, unaffected by emotions. that last part isnt true btw, but he gets to believe it to feel better about himself. hes able to think things through and do what needs to be done without external influence. he thinks itd be easier for everybody if they were more like him, but secretly, hes relieved that theyre not. itd get less people hurt, but the poison is addicting, yk? if people were as logical as he wanted them to be, ortega and herald (and maybe mortum, the verdict is pending) wouldve dropped him by now, yet persistent assholes that they are, they stay with him anyway. he likes the trade-off.

questions are from here!

[pagepainter]

Athletics

[edited]

In, in, out, out. Hot air rushed into my lungs, and hot air came out. My lungs were burning. My mouth was dry. I could feel the pulse of my heartbeat thumping at the hollow of my throat. I pushed on, not willing to allow my physical fatigue win over my mental resilience.

Mind over matter.

"We're almost there." He gasped. His feet landed on the ground in distasteful rhythmic thuds. My lips thinned into a straight line, as I consciously placed more focus on my breathing and pacing coordination. Stop talking if you want to pace with me.

"Yeah. One foot in front of the other." I replied between breaths and hoped that that was the end of the conversation. Don't stop now. 7km mark. Push push push. Don't stop until you're at the finish line.

"Yep. Don't stop! You'll only become stronger and better in running." He cheered on.

"Mm."

7.15km. We paused at the traffic light with the others who ran ahead of us, and my friend whom I was keeping up with, turned back to grin at me. Her eyes were bright and shiny. I grinned back. "The pain is so satisfying."

"Told ya." She laughed. "Would you be interested to do a half marathon with me next year?"

"Yes, I would love to."

As we began running again when the lights turned green, he sped on, leaving me behind to pace myself until the finishing line. Good, I thought, as I hear multiple footsteps growing louder behind me, and a group of guys overtook me. I felt the urge to speed up, but I kept my pace constant. Consistency is everything. I kept my eyes on my friend, and made sure I kept the distance between us constant. Then I saw it. The finishing line. Everything in me wanted to stop and jog to the finishing line, but I shoved that thought away and used every last ounce of energy I left to run to the finish line. Satisfaction took over; I did it.

I never knew how amazing running felt like. It's painful, but so worth the pain. It's cathartic. I want to see how much I can push myself, even beyond my limits, and when I do, I'm discovering that I have gone beyond my limit, and motivates me to want to push even further. Seeing the lights at night, hearing the sound of the sea, feeling the humidity weigh on me as I run, feeling the sweat trickle down my spine, the soreness in my legs and knees, my breathing — it's definitely a sensory overload, but they're all I decide to place my focus on when I run. Occasional thoughts run through my head, but they're swept away by the wind which gracefully caress my sweaty body, the soft whoosh hazing the thoughts until they become a soft, distant echo in my mind. They will always come back, but I want to enjoy the moment. There's satisfaction in pushing through the pain, knowing that I didn't stop throughout the run unless necessary. Small wins. Progress. It would be such a personal accomplishment to build my stamina to run a half marathon, and eventually a full marathon one day.

[faircatch]

Some Thoughts About AI

The discussions I've seen from pro-AI people always fall back on gatekeeping and that writers and artists and musicians are trying to keep people from doing things because they haven't spent "years spent learning and studying" or haven't gone though the struggle of laboring over work.

I had a recent talk with a cousin and their argument was that, "Well, as the client, I get what I want right away and that's the most important thing to me."

But I don't think they really understand it. Mostly because I think those who argue for AI have only hit the struggle part and been frustrated... There is so much more to the 'struggle'.

Most writers and artists have experienced writer's block and artist's block. It's normal. We've been frustrated when the writing doesn't flow or you can't get the words right. We've been frustrated when the perspective is wrong, or the hand looks like broken sausages. We want to give up when we can't end the musical piece the right way. Writing is hard. Art is hard. Music is hard.

But then there is that moment of elation - the sheer joy - when you type in the turn of phrase that expresses exactly what you are trying to say... or you get the perfect mix of light and shadow to create the mood in the image you are creating. Those three musical notes? They evoked a world of emotion. And you learned. You gained knowledge. And that knowledge always stayed with you.

That trick to getting the perspective right? You use it all the time. The tone of character? You always know how to get that because you created that character template that works for you.

That's all part of the 'struggle'. It's the gaining of knowledge. It's building your artistic skillset. Artists have an arsenal of information they have gained and learned over time. Sometimes through school, sometimes through their own experimentation and observation.

You learn to walk. That wasn't easy. Just because you don't remember the process where you were frustrated and fell but also walked across the room and celebrated and felt the joy of the accomplishment, doesn't erase that it became part of your knowledge. There is something beautiful in the process of creating - not just the finished product. Many times, for the creator, the finished product means less than the process of creating it. There is a growth in the person, a change that happens in them...

AI removes that whole process. People can tell me they are an AI artist but... what knowledge do you have? What have you learned? What do you know about art? Has the process changed you or shifted your way of thinking about the world and how you look at it?

We like to say it's just pretty pictures, but if you actually studied art, you'd understand why that isn't the case. (Some art is.. yes, pretty pictures, but that isn't what it all is). Decisions are made when you are creating art and they can change the entire feel or meaning. Graphic Design requires critical thinking and decisions - from the placement of images to the font - because they will evoke meaning and intention and flow. Writing requires critical thinking because you are expressing ideas and sometimes relating facts - time and effort are required to decide how to present those facts (and making sure they are true). And it is evoking imagery, imagination and emotion in the reader. Illustrations are meant to tell a story, evoke and stir something in the viewer with that narrative.

But if you just use AI, do you understand ANY of those decisions? Do you know why something works or doesn't? Is there real intention?

AI artists, this isn't about gatekeeping art or writing from you. This is about artists telling you that the knowledge (from all that struggle and frustration) and skillset inform art and creation. There is intention when they create that is lost in AI. AI art isn't informed with knowledge or the critical thinking that makes lasting and orginal art.

The art, music and writing that artists, musicians and writers have created has value... It has made the world think, given it beauty, opened minds, sparked ideas, and made the world a lot more interesting. AI taking all of that and spitting it out with no thought, removes the value of art, music and writing. Let me say that again: AI removes the value of art, music and writing.

The world we live in is training us to want fast and easy. Our attention spans are short, we get fast food delivered to our door, we press buttons to get things the next day. And none of it means anything. We digest it and it doesn't fulfill us. It's empty sugar. And yes, there is a place for that (hey, it's fun to just be able to put words in and get an image - even I can see that). I think AI can help do the work no one likes, but honestly, at this point, people are just using it to do ALL the work.

Creating is such an innate thing in mankind. It serves no one but ourselves really - even if it does something wonderful for the world. I mean, you can make a chair without it having carvings on it, or bake bread without plaiting it. Playing with clay, coloring paper, strumming strings... it is a weird magic inside people.

AI isn't magic. It removes it. And the world definitely needs more magic. (sorry, this got VERY rambling...)

[7bamboosrugby-blog]

Want to improve your game? Get uncomfortable!

“Life always begins with one step outside of your comfort zone.” ― Shannon L. Alder

When was the last time you left your comfort zone?

Close your eyes for a moment and try to remember a moment in your sports career when you felt nervous or even terrified about a “big move”.

Joining a new club, starting a new coaching role or trying a different training method for the first time. Now envision the moment you took this step, and it worked out well for you.

What was it like? I am confident it was a feeling of pride and accomplishment. You never regretted taking the risk, am I right?

Edit Image

Stepping outside your comfort zone offers an amazing experience for athletes and coaches. Growth begins and you become a better, more complete player or coach.

Learning to leave the comfort zone is not just essential for an athlete’s development, but for anyone.

In this article, we going to explore what happens inside and outside the comfort zone, why you should take risks and that it is all about balance.

Growth starts outside your comfort zone

It’s remarkable how children learn to leave their comfort zone constantly and unintentionally without effort and fear. When kids learn to cycle or swim for example they don't worry about failure or what others think, they just do it - until they fail.

That is the “make-or-break” point - are they carrying on or giving up? This is when parents and coaches need to step up and explain what is going on here.

As we become older and gain more experience this becomes a familiar process. Try something new - fail - try again. Or in the words of Winston Churchill, success means moving from one failure to another with enthusiasm.

But despite our awareness about the importance of going new paths most rather opt to stay in their comfort zone.

Look at a “modern lifestyle” of an average office worker:

I used to work in a multi-story big inner city office building and some colleagues arrived in the morning by car, parked the car in the company car park, took the lift to the fifth-floor offices, started working sitting in front of a desk, had lunch sitting down in the kitchen, did some more work and finished their day at 5 p.m. Then went back into the lift, into the car drove home watched some TV, had dinner, and went to bed.

A predictable future with zero risks and no fear. Some might strive for such a lifestyle, but we must understand that comfort can ruin our lives. If you want to achieve your goals and make lasting progress in life, you need to choose growth instead of comfort.

Staying in your comfort zone means preventing active learning, unveiling your full potential, and discovering your true strengths.

Our brain is programmed to automate learning processes once they are fully understood. Take for example driving.

When we first drive a car, it feels overwhelming and complicated. With the additional pressure of navigating through traffic with many unknowns driving is a true challenge for a beginner.

But after a while accelerating, breaking, changing gears, and being aware of our surroundings all become an automatic process.

While this is a very useful function of our brain, it also means that we hit a point of stagnation. And unless we keep challenging ourselves with new tasks we won’t learn more significantly.

When you lose your drive to learn and to achieve, you lose the ability to create meaning in your life.

Now that we know why staying in our comfort zone isn’t good for us at all, let’s explore how to break out of it.

Just do it!

The easiest and quickest way to get out of your comfort zone is by taking a swift and direct decision! Sounds easy - but it’s true.

Sometimes this step is also referred to as the 3-second rule. Which means don’t think about it for more than 3-seconds and just do it.

However, it’s important that this is seen as a tool to create “momentum” rather than going all the way. Moving out of the comfort zone has a lot to do with little steps.

Small steps, every day

The problem with trying out new things and taking risks is that we often focus too much on the big picture and worry about failing.

However, if instead, you take small steps, it’s much more likely that you remain focused. If you train for a marathon, you wouldn’t run every day 26 miles in the lead-up.

Instead, the secret is all about constant improvement and pushing to the next goal.

Striking the right balance

Getting out of the comfort zone is one thing, establishing permanent positive change is another. Often, we fail with consistent long-term goals because we fail to strike the right balance between comfort and discomfort.

In sports, going too fast and hard often results in injuries, defeat, or other forms of disappointment. Therefore finding out how far you can push yourself and others and knowing exactly when to stop and when to carry on is essential.

Try something new

One of the best tactics, to improve your game and expand your comfort zone is to constantly try something new. The key to preventing giving up is to accept that you’ll fail at some point.

Learn a new skill, apply a new gym routine, or implement new daily habits. Whatever it is, make sure you do it with a level of enthusiasm and the expectation that you’ll have good days and bad days, but if you stick to it, it will be rewarded.

A final thought

The idea to live a comfortable life, where everything you need is at hand and nothing needs to be hard “earned” might sound tempting.

However, no matter where you are in life and how much you’ve achieved, in order to avoid stagnation, we need to become comfortable with being uncomfortable.

Especially in sports pushing ourselves, as coaches and athletes, is key to meeting our goals. Only if you learn to take brave and intuitive decisions, time after time, find the right balance between comfort and discomfort and aren’t afraid of trying new things you will become the best version of yourself, over and over again.

This article was first published on 7bamboos.com

#growthmindset #development #coaching #comfortzone

[leoneliterary]

Ok but that hickey scene... You've destroyed me. ANYWAY, how would ros react if mc told them (probably later, since most of them ran tf away) that it'a not a hickey, just from a bite caused by some bug or smth? 👀

Several of y'all sent in asks and wanted a follow up to the first hickey ask, which can be found here, so now we have part two of the hickey ask!

Merikh:

He can hear you telling Desma about the next target as he stands in the hallway. He isn't avoiding you and he certainly isn't eavesdropping. It isn't eavesdropping if he already knows what you're talking about and instructed you to talk about it. This is supervising from a distance. He hasn't seen you since the other day and his mind wanders back to the mark on your neck. He wonders if it's faded by now, or if whoever put it there had the gall to replace it with a fresh one. He roughly grips his hair and stifles a sigh. No matter how firmly he tells himself he doesn't care, he can feel a nauseating mix of disappointment and curiosity eating away at him. Who was it? Was it Desma? The two of you do seem close. Unconsciously he walks closer to the entry way, listening to the conversation between you both. Ready to intervene if the chat veers towards sweet nothings instead of the task at hand. "Ah, it's still sore!" he hears you huff and Desma laugh in response and his feet are moving before he knows it. "This is exactly what we don't have time for! Consider it finished!" he blows through the room like a storm and both you and Desma look at him like he's lost his mind. He spots the still dark mark on your neck and it only adds to his tirade. "And let this be the last time I see this foolishness!" You blink at him before saying slowly, "No more...bug bites?" "Yes! No more—" he shouts before registering what you're saying causing him to trail off and clear his throat. "Ahem, yes. No more bug bites. I will have bed netting brought for both of you. Nothing can be accomplished if you both are not healthy." he quickly turns around, hiding the growing smirk on his face. Bug bites.

Desma:

When she asked you if it was serious, she didn't know what she expected to hear. Of course she hoped to hear that it wasn't serious, that it was just a result of wine and boredom, but you didn't say that. Instead you let out a grunt of irritation. "It's getting serious! This is probably the third night in a row that this has happened!" You point at the mark, your voice laden with exasperation before rubbing it gingerly. "Ah, it's still sore!" she sees you wince and let's out a laugh that sound hollow, even to her ears. "Maybe you should find someone else." She doesn't bother to stop herself. She always feels like she's waiting for the right moment to tell you, or the right time to admit the truth, but it's been so long. And now you're with someone. Someone that exasperates and disappoints you. She knows that she wouldn't, if you would only just pick her. So she says it again. "Find someone else." she looks in your eyes and expects to see a spark of realization, but instead you look at her blankly. "Desma I don't want any bugs to bite me. I'm not trying to find a different one to do it!" She stares at you for a moment before wrapping you in a tight hug. She practically cackles into your ear. "So you're just going to laugh at my suffering?" you say, and she just laughs even harder onto your shoulder. Wiping a tear from her eye she recovers and grins at you. "Don't worry, I have a bed net in my room."

Laverna:

She's pounding the herbs a bit harder than was necessary but she couldn't reach whoever was leaving kisses all over you, so the herbs would have to stand in. You enter, rubbing your neck and she stiffens. "Laverna, do you have anymore of that ointment?" She stops pounding the herbs and slowly turns toward you, swallowing the bitterness that has been building ever since she gave you ointment for the kiss mark the other day, a rigid but poised smile on her face. "I can make some more. Why? More bruises." she squints her eyes slightly, still smiling, even though she feels like throwing something. "Thank you," you say sheepishly, still rubbing at your neck, before adding, "Just when the other one started to fade, I got another one." So not only do you have someone in your bed that isn't her, they also clearly don't care about your reputation. If you liked to be kissed that hard, with that much vigor, she could oblige you, but she would do it in places reserved for only your eyes. And hers of course. "Laverna? Laverna!" you calling out to her jolts her away from her daydream and drops her back into the dismal reality where she is giving you medicine for love bites. "Sorry, must be the heat." she says dryly. "What were you saying?" "I was just saying that I think the bug must be hiding somewhere in my room. I mean, several nights it's bitten me, so it must be hiding out." She feels her eyes widen along with her smile and she can't hide her glee. "You were bitten by a bug. A bug bit you. That, " she points at the mark on your neck that looks less like a kiss mark the more she looks at it. "That is a bug bite." "Yes it is." you furrow your brow at her, "Are you sure you're alright? Should I get you some water?" You look slightly concerned to her and she wishes she could explain to you just how alright she was. "No need!" She lets out a high and clear laugh, grinning at you. "Let's get you some ointment!"

Sutek:

He sits on the ledge, waiting for the nobleman's arrival and trying to enjoy the breeze, but all he can think of is the skin of your neck and someone else's lips. He shudders slightly, the chill of the night the thoughts creeping in about who you would be spending a night like this with. Certainly not him. He let's out a sigh and shifts his weight on the ledge, trying to get comfortable. "Been here awhile?" He startles at the sound of your voice and almost falls of looking in your direction. "Over here." you call out to him, sounding tired. He turns and sees you a couple of ledges over to his right. "Why are you here?" "Sightseeing." you say blandly. He feels like hurling himself off the building to escape his own stupidity. He already knows the answer. Why else would either of you would be sitting on ledges in Upper Cusmo. "You shouldn't be here." he tells you in a low voice and he knows you're only at ease because of the distance between you. You act like you don't hear him, instead looking down at the houses below the two of you. As you look down he sees the mark on your neck again and grits his teeth. He's so fixated on it that when you bring your hand up to it, he almost loses his balance on the ledge again. You suck in a quick breath through your teeth before quickly turning to him. He stiffens, bewildered as your eyes rove over him. "How are you not covered in these?" you ask still rubbing the mark and suddenly the nobleman's arrival is the furthest thing from his mind. Because here you are, asking him why he isn't covered in kiss marks. His mind slows to a grinding halt. Do you want to cover him in kiss marks? "I guess the bugs would be too afraid to bite you." Bug bites? Before he can process what you said a distant bang goes rings out and you quickly jump down from the ledge to follow it. And he jumps down to follow you, fueled by his assignment, but also the satisfaction that he is the one you're spending your night with.

Sarai:

She sees your eyes dart to where she's sitting and she can't help but scoff. She knows you're probably wondering why she didn't permit you to meet with her, the other day. Good. If she has to wonder who you're letting into your bed, then you can wonder why she doesn't want to see you. Aretas signals that you and Merikh may approach the throne and she sizes him up from her place behind the beaded partition. Could Merikh be the one responsible for those marks? You both do always appear to be together, and it wouldn't make him the first young lord to become involved with his subordinates. Knowing that no one can clearly make her out from where she's sitting she allows herself the luxury of a scowl. She couldn't spare an ounce of thought to who you shared your bed with, she really couldn't. But you really presented yourself before her in that state! She moves the beads slightly, just to see if the mark had faded, only to see that if anything, it looks like it stands out even more! "That must hurt." She calls out, startling you, Merikh, and Aretas. She lets herself be concealed by the partition again and repeats herself. "Your neck. That's a very angry looking mark. It must hurt." She can hear how patronizing she sounds, but she can't help but bait you. "Thank you for your concern, Queen Mother, but don't worry! My new bed net should keep the rest of the bugs at bay." She almost throws her fan at you. Bug bites? All of this over bug bites? "See a healer while you're here. We'd hate for there to be an infection." You thank her, but the rest of the conversation fades from her attention, and she let's out a chuckle under her breath. Just a bug bite.

Nari:

You're in the palace today, and so is she, but as long as she stays out of the main halls, she should be able to avoid running into you. "There you are Nari!" She stands still, part of her thinking that if she could just stand still enough, she would blend into the walls and you'd look elsewhere. "Nari, it's me!" Alright, so you definitely see her. Turning toward you slowly, she gives you a grimace that she hopes can pass for a smile. "Good morning—or evening? What time is it?" she let's out a nervous laugh and when you return it with a genuine one she can't stop her treacherous heart from quickening. "Unfortunately, it is morning." your laugh is lighthearted, but she can see a trace of light fatigue weighing down your features. You rub your neck and she sees the angry looking mark. "Hurts..."

"What?" you say, and she realizes that she's spoken without thinking.

"I—I mean, that spot looks like it hurts!"

"Oh this. The bugs ruined my sleep and still bit me, but I'll pick up some salve and a bed net after I'm down here.

You yawn and she can't help but smile.

Looking at your bug bite affectionately, thankful that there was no mystery lover, she says softly, "I'm glad."

"So you're on the bug's side?" you laugh and she flushes.

"No, no! I'm on your side, always yours!"

Aretas:

"My King?" "Yes?" he says breathlessly. You look at him, as if waiting for him to say more. When he doesn't you lean forward and say again.

"My King." "Yes." you rub your eyes with a sigh and he braces for your response. His heart beats in his chest and he's sure that this will change your relationship from now on, but he couldn't keep quiet with you wearing someone else's affection on your neck.

"My King, are you referring to my bug bite?"

He blinks, and slowly points at your neck.

"A bug bite?" the words come out stilted, like he's never said them together before.

"Yes my King, a bug bite. What do you mean by people waiting for me?"

"The bugs! The bugs must be waiting! To bite you! You must taste good, so—so the bugs in the palace probably want a taste too!" he laughs frantically as he tries to stitch his almost confession into a terrible bug bite joke.

You laugh awkwardly with him and he can feel himself sweating through his robes.

He regains a modicum of his composure and looks at you seriously.

"What I mean to say is that you are cared about. I will send you a well made bed net." he eyes shine with words unsaid and he hesitantly takes your hand. "I would hate to see you ill, regardless of the cause."

Heka:

He can feel you as soon as you enter the room, you mere presence shattering any of his concentration. Instead of chants and mantras, images of the inflamed mark on your neck rush to the forefront of his mind, and the unfortunately familiar ache of envy settles in his chest.

"What brings you here?" he says and cringes at how cold he sounds.

"Heka, does the temple sell incense?"

"It's a temple. They don't sell anything. They accept honorable contributions." he snorts and shakes his head, his eyes still closed to continue the farce of meditating.

"How much of an honorable donation does someone have to make to get some of the incense that repels bugs. My neck can't make it through another night with them."

At that his eyes open.

"Your neck?" he says, trying to hide his eagerness.

"Look what they did to me!" you gesture at your neck and he smiles.

Climbing down from the platform he was trying to meditate on, he takes your hand with a relieved smile.

"Come on. I'll give you some of mine."

[vannybarber]

The Prenup

Summary: After four years of being together and finally being engaged, Chris wants you to sign a prenup.

Chris Evans x Reader

Warnings: angst, swearing, chris getting his ass handed to him, a lot of pain.

Part Two Part Three Part Four Final Chapter

Scrounging through the little desk in the corner of Chris and you's bedroom, you hear him let out a boisterous laugh.

He was watching some movie and there was a certain part that he found so hilarious. After 4 years of watching it with him constantly, you still don't get what's so funny. But it makes him happy so that's what matters.

You were searching for the wine opener so Scott could get his middle-aged-4-kids-divorcee vibe on. You cleaned the other day and stuck it in there after a nightly dose of freakydeaky from Chris, which consisted of wine, whipped cream, and a many different forms of chocolate.

After what seemed like forever, you find the corkscrew and grin at your accomplishment. You take one more look in the drawer out of habit and you spot a big orange envelope with Chris' name on it. Being the nosy curious person you are, you take the envelope out and get a good look at it. You see the words Prenuptial Agreement in bold and your heart drops.

Chris had proposed to you 9 months ago and you were happy beyond words. After being together for 4 years, he finally put away his commitment troubles and made you his fianceé. And now you find out he's going to get you to sign a prenup. A fucking prenup.

You look around the room at loss for words. You were angry, hurt and confused. After 4 years of being together, he doesn't have faith in his own judgment that you guys would be together forever? You both have been through literally everything. There isn't one thing you don't know about each other. Your relationship was rare and it was special.

After moments of contemplation, you decide you would confront him on it. There's no way you could carry on the night and sleep after this. Not until you get your answers. Closing the drawer, you take a sharp breath and exhale before walking out the room. You get back to the dining table where Lisa and his siblings surrounded.

"Here you go Scott" you say slamming the corkscrew on the table in front of him. He looks up at you, puzzled. You glance at him then at Chris and he's looking at you just the same. Evidently your tone matched your movements because everyone went silent. You draw back and put both hands behind your back and huff.

"Babe, are you alright?" It was Christopher talking to you now. Your attention goes to him and your lips are in a thin line. Refraining from blowing up at him, you force smile on your face and change your tone of voice.

"What do you mean, honey? I'm fine." You should leave the acting to Chris honestly. That's definitely not your field of expertise. Shifting on your right foot, you stare at him. He shuffles and tilts his head with a knowing look.

"Spill it Y/N. What's up?"

"The flames when I burn this damn house down." So much for not blowing up. You snatch the envelope in front of you and chuck it on the table. Everyone watches the exchange and the envelope fly to the table. All their faces change from confusion to shock and even more confusion.

Chris didn't even need to look down to know it was the prenup. His eyes went from you to the wall. Guilt written all over it, you almost wish you gave a shit. You wonder how long he was going to keep this hidden from you. No need to wonder now.

"You want to explain to me why you have a prenup?" You place your hand on your hip and roll your neck at him.

"I got that for us."

You swear to everything you wanted to lunge at him right then and there. 'I got that for us'. Why do people always use that excuse for everything? They weren't thinking about you, just themselves and expected you to go along with it.

"You got it for us? I know you didn't do this on your own. Who put you up to it?" You look around the room. Scott has his hands up shaking his head. Carly and Shanna both let out a quiet "not me". You look at Lisa who had this look of hurt.

"Chris, you tell me everything. How did I not know about this? Why didn't you tell me?" Well now you know she didn't suggest it. You feel slightly guilty for letting it cross your mind, but you had your reasons.

"Ma, I had my reasons. I kept it hidden because I didn't know how I felt about it myself" he says rubbing his face and fixing his hair under his cap. Still didn't answer your question.

"Christopher, who put you up to this? Tell me now!" You're getting fired up by the minute. You have an idea who it could be too.

"Megan. She thought that it would be smart to consider. Just to protect me."

"Megan." Your voice is laced with absolute venom. "You know Chris, she does a good job keeping you out of trouble and bullshit so you're not all over the tabloids, but sometimes, her ass is too much!"

Chris is never in the news for anything negative. He's always minding his business and moving quietly. Megan is a great publicist, but she can be pretty overbearing about his personal life. She gave you side eye for like the entire first year of you guys' relationship.

"Baby, she was just looking out for me. You know how it is, women getting with you for your money. Guys loose half of everything they have when getting divorces."

You can't even believe it.

"I am not 'women'. I'm your fianceé. We've been together 4 years, Chris! After all this time your material things come before me?" Tears are puddled at your eyes now and your voice is cracking. This catches his attention.

"I told you from the start Chris, that I never cared about your money! Never have and never will. I am used to not having much. I'm not money hungry or concerned for having top tier everything. I've learned to settle."

"Y/N, I didn't mea-" you slam your hand on the table, making everyone jump. Chris shuts his mouth.

"I'm. Not. Finished. I am not marrying your bank account. I'm not marrying your cars. I'm not marrying your house. I don't give a damn about any of that shit. And you literally are still concerned about all of that?" Your face is wet and your nose is runny. You wipe your nose and cross your arms.

"It's not even like that!" Now he's getting upset. For literally nothing. This is his fault. "It's just in case it doesn't work out, we don't need to deal with all the extra mess."

That completely shattered you. In case it doesn't work out. He actually has thoughts that your marriage couldn't work. What would even cause that? You guys don't even argue. You don't even remember the last time you did. You've learned to understand what each other needs and mastered that. What is he on about?

"You know what the sad part is? Us not working out crossed my mind in, like, the first year of our relationship. And I decided that if we did get married, and God forbid we divorced, I wouldn't take anything from you."

He looked at you like he just found out he wasn't the father of your baby.

"Yeah, Chris. That's your money. You made it, not me, so why would I ask for any of it from you? You gave me an amazing relationship and thats enough for me."

"Oh my goodness." Everyone directs their attention to Scott. "So you wouldn't want anything from the divorce?"

"Of course not! I came in this relationship for him. Plus a make my own money. I don't need anyone else's."

You had your own business. Many employees at different buildings in Boston. You didn't have much growing up and you were proud of yourself for not having to worry about financial issues. Chris liked that you had your own thing going and didn't have to adapt to his life and depend on him financially. And he still got a prenup.

Feeling like you were gonna cry again, you rub your temples and take deep breaths to prevent it. But you failed and started crying more. Chris got up and moved to stand in front of you.

"Baby, I'm sorry I upset you. I thought you would be okay with this. Like you said, you don't care about my money so what's wrong with the prenup?" His hands were on your sides, but not for long as you shook them off of you.

"What's wrong with it? What this is telling me is three things. You have doubt that our marriage won't work out, you think I might change my mind and ask for alimony, and that your money comes before me."

"I..." he struggles to form words. You take this chance to get out of there.

"I really don't want to be here right now." Chris looks up and grabs your arm.

"Babe, you don't need to go. Where the hell are you gonna go?" You turn and grab the envelope from the table. You open it and pull the papers out, shoving it in his face.

"I'll go to a hotel or something, but I'm not staying here if this is the shit you're trying to pull with me." You turn the paper to you and look in disgust. You scan over it and your eyes fall on the dotted line where you need to sign. Beside it is where he needed to sign his.

Well not anymore.

You read over his signature on the line. Chris Evans.

He signed the prenup already. Now he was just waiting for your signature. He really was leaving you zero choice.

"You signed it already??" Everyone at the table head snapped up. Shanna gasped and covered her mouth. Lisa mumbles an "oh no" under her breath.

"So you were just going to bring it to me and expect me to sign it with no fight, huh?"

Chris says nothing, but his face is red. You don't wait for a response and walk to your shoes and your bag. Already having everything in there, you slip your shoes on and walk back to Chris.

"Just a heads up, you brought this on yourself."

You whip around and walk to the fireplace. You chuck the papers and envelope in the blaze and turn back to him.

"You can forget about that damn prenup, cause I'm not signing it. As a matter a fact, you don't even have to worry about that because there won't be a chance of us divorcing." You force a smile and clasp your hands together. Lisa and Scott rise from the table panicking.

"Babe, no-"

"Forget the wedding, this engagement and all of it. You can take this fucking ring too." You pry the ring off your fingers and throw it at him. It hits his chest and falls at his feet.

"I'm not marrying you."

You turn on your heel, grab your purse and jacket, walking out the door, leaving the Evans' speechless.

Was this too dramatic? I have my own opinions on a prenup, but maybe it's not as big as it seems? Idk🥴.

masterlist

[demonsandmischief]

My Warrior Wolf - Ch. 1

Marvel - Bucky Barnes Werewolf AU

Warrior! Bucky x Human! Female Reader

-> Alpha: First in Command. In charge of the whole pack. The leader.

->Beta: The Alpha's Second in Command. Keeps the pack organized.

->Lead Warrior: takes orders from Alpha/Beta. Fiercely protective and a strong fighter.

-> Mate: Soul-Mate. A wolf's other half. Predestined.

1.3K Words

-Chapter 1-

The beginning.

---

"This house is a little more isolated, and it's definitely a fixer upper, but it's below your budget," the real estate agent gave a sniff as she looked around. She stuck out like a sore thumb in a pencil skirt and a perfectly pressed shirt. "Are you ready to move onto something else, maybe a little closer downtown?"

You walked through, taking in the wood floors that groaned in protest with each step. The house was bare. There was no furniture, just a large layer of dust.

There was something quaint about it that you loved. It had a cottage feel, and there were so many windows that highlighted the towering trees.

You walked through the kitchen. Your mind was filled with endless possibilities. It was like a dream. You stopped in your tracks, catching a glimpse of something running through the thick vegetation. Probably a deer.

"Are there any neighbors around here?" you asked curiously. It did make you a little nervous to be out here by yourself.

The lady paused like she was baffled you would even consider the place.

"There might be a few scattered, but nothing that close. Do you want to see some more places?"

You smiled, "I don't think I need to."

---

"There's someone moving in. East territory - that old run down shack of a house." Bucky announced to his Alpha and Beta.

He wiped the sweat from his brow, opening the refrigerator up for a drink.

Steve Rogers frowned, placing the stack of papers down. "Did you see who?"

"I didn't get a chance to. I just saw that pesky agent pulling the for sale sign down."

"Maybe when they move in, we can scope out the place by being neighborly," Sam Wilson grinned, not even looking up from the laptop he was staring at. "By pesky agent, do you mean that one lady that simply asked for you number, Buck?" He closed the lid, standing up and walking to Steve's side.

Bucky's frowned deepened when he reached for the orange juice and pulled out an empty carton. "Who the hell puts it back empty?" He straightened, finally answering Sam's question. "She wasn't my mate, so I wasn't interested."

The three of them were best friends. They weren't always close, but after what happened to Bucky, they naturally migrated to each other for company.

Steve was an excellent leader and Alpha, and Sam was an excellent Beta. Bucky never felt like he actually belonged, but they treated him like a brother, and secretly, he longed for the comfort.

Bucky wasn't born into a role like Sam and Steve. He had to work to build his rank, but he was happy to put his energy into something other than his past that always seemed to drained him.

Steve's alarm rang out. "It's seven o'clock. It's time for training." He stuffed his phone in his back pocket. "You're leading today, Buck."

"I'm no leader, Steve," Bucky said. "We've tried this before. It never works."

"Are you defying an order, Warrior?" Steve was such a hard-ass.

Bucky was tempted to roll his eyes, especially when Sam snickered a little.

"No, Alpha," he grumbled.

Walking from the offices down to the open field was always a journey for him. He couldn't help but let his mind wonder when he saw mated pairs, or little pups running around. Bucky was a broken man though, and he was certain his mate wasn't out there. Even if there was the slightest possibility that you were, a life with him was no life worth living.

He loved to train, but he hated leading it. He knew Steve used this to get him out of his shell. He was a bit of a recluse - keeping to himself most of the time, but being the lead warrior did mean being intune with the others, so he did his best.

"Your position is sloppy," he said to one of the sparring females. They were working in pairs, warming up before they got into the actual training.

"What do you see that I can't?" Steve asked, his voice low and discrete from where he was watching.

"They are getting too comfortable in routine, Alpha," Bucky frowned, crossing his arms.

"You should join them, then."

"You know I can't. I will have the advantage." Bucky wiggled the metal fingers of his prosthetic arm.

"But not as wolf," Steve patted his shoulder, ordering the warriors to break apart.

No, as wolf, Bucky stood on three paws instead of four. His human side was lucky to have the benefit of technology, but his wolf side, not so much. That's why he always wanted to prove that he could do it.

---

You felt accomplished. A week after getting your belongings into your new place, there was not a speck of dust anywhere.

You were enjoying the many tasks that had to be done. It felt good to put your mind to something, and the woods that surrounded you were very calming. You felt safe and grounded. But, being outside had always felt that way for you.

It was just you. You had some friends at work, but they were only work friends. The house was quite small, but maybe you could have them come over. That might be a good step to initiate.

You pushed away the thought. You'd have to get some actual furniture first, and some working appliances. The stove and refrigerator were being delivered tomorrow, so you had been focusing your energy on cleaning and painting while the space was free.

You paused, hearing a car in the gravel outside your house. Were you expecting someone?

You frowned. Maybe the appliance people were early?

Except, the two strange men on your porch said otherwise. You felt panic blossom when they knocked on the door.

You hesitantly pulled it open. The man on the right gave a bright smile while the man on the left glowered.

"Hi, I'm Sam Wilson, and this is my friend Bucky. We live a few miles away, but still technically neighbors," Sam chuckled, holding out his hand.

You lightly grasped it, "I'm Y/N. I'd invite you in, but I don't-" you swallowed thickly, feeling absolutely scrutinized by the man named Bucky. He was incredibly handsome, with short messy hair and haunted blue eyes. "I don't have furniture." You finished with an uneasy smile.

"That's alright, we just thought we'd introduce ourselves." There was something about Sam that was you liked. He seemed very personable and kind, but first impressions could be deceiving. "If you don't have furniture, do you need anything? We could run it back to you."

Bucky's gaze was like a magnet. Even when Sam was talking, you were immediately drawn to him. His eyes never left you, and although it normally would have been unnerving, this felt different.

"That's really nice of you, but I'm okay," you relaxed slightly at their generosity.

"What about dinner?" Bucky spoke for the first time, and you were stunned by his voice. It was deep and husky, and it took you a moment to realize that he was looking right past you and into the empty kitchen. "It doesn't look like you have an oven."

"I was just going to go back into town to get something," you smiled with a slight chuckle. "All of that stuff is coming tomorrow."

"If you're sure," Sam said. He seemed really sweet. "If you need anything we're just right up the road."

---

"Thank you. It was really great to meet you both." And with one last lingering gaze with Bucky, they walked away.

Here's Chapter 2.

A/N: I've been working on this series for so freaking long. I'm so excited it's finally coming out.

Please note! I will not be tagging the people I normally tag for Bucky/Marvel after this chapter.

If you want tagged, please comment on the WARRIOR WOLF TAGLIST.

-> my Masterlist

And as always if you like this, let me know by liking, commenting and reblogging. 💕

Tags: @drayshadow @leyannrae @alexabarnes17 @bklynxbaby @jerseynatural-enthusiast @nyx2021

[rayshippouuchiha]

hi, question for a friend. How do you build self worth? How do you find a reason to Stay that isnt reliant on another person? or needing to be useful to be worth keeping around? It's absolutely me, im the friend and im Struggling hard

First off darling I just wanna say that I'm sorry you're struggling. I know apologies don't really do much for these kinds of things but sometimes saying "I'm sorry for your pain" is how we say "I see you".

Second I absolutely always encourage people to reach out to support systems. Friends, family, or professional help if it's available/possible/safe. Leaning on people when you're having a hard time doesn't automatically make you a burden and it doesn't say anything about your worth as a person. We all struggle sometimes and sometimes what you need is a little bit of help to stay afloat while you rebuild your foundations.

If asking yourself "how would they feel if I wasn't here?" or thoughts like "I can't go because xyz needs me" is what it takes to make you stay then there's nothing wrong with holding onto that lifeline until you're back on solid ground.

Because you staying is what matters most.

When it comes to building personal self-worth that doesn't rely on others or being useful and staying even if things get harder I've always tried to seek out my joy and my moments of calm and to be kinder to myself.

For example, what experiences would I miss if I wasn't here anymore?

The taste of a good green tea, my favorite snack, that feeling I get when I read a good fic/book, the way my favorite song makes me feel, that smile I can't help when I see small animals, the way my favorite movie can erase the world for a little bit every time I watch it, my friends, the cats, staying long enough to find out how my favorite show ends, etc etc.

Creative hobbies can help too because that's an outlet I control, something that I, at the core, do for me because I enjoy it. I enjoy the way it feels to write a fic or a poem or to finally finish making a piece of jewelry I've been working on. Sure I can share or gift or post those things where other people can experience them too but they're mine at the core and that can't be taken from me.

So find your joy, find the things that make your heart feel even the littlest bit lighter, make your mind feel just a little bit clearer. And if/when those things no longer give you that calm/joy then you look for new ones. Over and over if necessary.

Even if they feel or seem silly or other people don't understand. Even if it's something small like ladybugs or the smell the air gets before it rains.

Being kinder to yourself can be hard. So very very hard. But it's necessary. Find the small things to congratulate yourself on and focus on that instead of what you didn't do.

You sit on the couch today and didn't clean up? Well you can try to do a little something tomorrow but hey you got up didn't you? That's a goddamn accomplishment. Didn't brush your hair but you did manage to brush your teeth? That's still fantastic.

Just, there's no reason to be cruel to yourself. You deserve kindness and small things can have tremendous impacts after all.

You're something that has never happened before and will never happen again. Completely unique and precious no matter how hard things get or how much that doesn't feel true on hard days.

You deserve to experience as much life as possible, to find as much joy and calm as you can, and then hold onto it.