#and lots of driving tomorrow

[nicxxx5]

okay so i lied...

i've been out all day and i'm gonna be out all day tomorrow

i will respond to messages soon and y'all are gonna need to catch me up on what i've missed 😭

[fawfulydoo]

i survived job orientation 👍

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

rough day...

[solitary-bones]

so dndads live show St Paul! idk how much of this is a spoiler for anyone else going to shows so I'ma cut here!

we had!

- so many gay people in the audience that as I was walking in to the venue I said to my friend damn this is like a pride parade and a bunch of gay people in front of me were like TRUEE

- a live performance of both! dead and gone and rocks rock! it was so incredible. Beth and Will both POPPED OFFF!!!!!! they were so cool oh my god. and Freddie fucking shredded it on the electric guitar it was so sick.

- silly St Paul themed dad facts plus Ron just uhh thinking all manual labor is called a hand job.

- the people royally fucking up the dice roll (not my fault I was in the balcony I cannot be held responsible)

- the people absolutely manifesting the complete improv prompt as the live show topic. and all of the cast going into mourning over it (will fell to his knees on the stage so dramatically it was so funny)

- the cast deciding to do a DND game with their characters! Starring: Will Campos as Henry oak as Mr Chris (later Dr Chris), by the book health inspector! Matt Arnold as Darryl Wilson as Darryl, ex football quarterback now accomplished priest searching to remember all 10 commandments! Beth may as Ron stampler as Nor Relpmats, doctor (the best health inspector of them all)! and Freddie Wong as Glenn Close as Glenn The Closer, weed enjoyer moonlighting as a health inspector relying on his gut! Anthony Burch as Patrick as Patrick the shit (among other characters)!

- the audience not being able to stop being horny when giving suggestions for what their location, bad guy, and theme were gonna be (bdsm dungeon, just a guy from the audience named Patrick, and a 10 commandments dildo)

- an abundance of flashbacks and one single flashforward

- butt spanking competition to get past the second door (it is a bdsm castle ig)

-mr Chris tests to see if the floor has been cleaned recently and thinks it hasn't. Glenn the closers gut says it's fine but Mr Chris says if he tastes some of what's on the ground he'll be able to tell better. Glenn the Closer bites his fingers and Mr Chris is into it.

- Mr Chris finding a dead cockroach on the ground and revives it using CPR and mouth to mouth (Anthony is the cockroach and also when will tried to fake the mouth to mouth yelled DO IT PUSSY so yeah they actually kissed like twice at least) and revived it to ask about the cleanliness of the floor and found it not very.

- none other than paeden bennets on the second level, who Darryl proceeded to obliterate with a holy football. I'm not lying (not before asking how Patrick the DM knew about their friend Paeden who was long dead and us getting a lively npc on npc scene by Anthony of Patrick meeting Paeden and getting punched in the balls and saying "I'll never forget you")

- Test by the health inspectors to see if the blood of paeden would get cleaned up. all of the soots from spirited away came in with little mops to clean it and cleaned all the party. Glenn rolled to see if he's into it and got a 9 but the crowd gave inspiration and he got a 6, which is 69 so he was and wanted to stay there forever with the soots. Henry as Mr Chris used his persuasion to get Glenn the closer to leave the soots by saying that whatever they're doing he could do it better. because apparently they're ex lovers now. (Anthony yelled something about Will wanting to kiss another boy)

- Flashback reveals that they were highschool sweethearts but were going to health inspection schools on opposite sides of the US and were talking about how their relationship would progress from there when Mr Chris' secret lover barges in and informs them that they're pregnant and he's the father! Glenn the Closer gets upset and asks what happened and Mr Chris proceeds to another, extremely graphic, flashback where Ron the doctor commentates the uhhh conceiving of said child. and Glenn is understandably upset at the graphicness of this explanation about being cheated on. They end with bitter words, stating they're now nemesis in health inspection.

- Nor asks Mr Chris how long it's been since he saw his son Patrick. (not since birth lmao)

- they go up to the final level, find Patrick using the commandment dildo, on the 8th one I think, and upon seeing his absent father run in and ask "are ya winning, son!?"gets extremely turned off. he understandably asks what he's doing there after being absent his whole life. Mr Chris explains that he's finally ready to be back in his life, with his husband Glenn the closer, and his newfound belief in Christianity from Darryl the priest who's really good at football.

- Flashforward to Mr Chris and Glenn the Closer living together and apparently "they're bougie enough to have their own priest" so Darryl lives with them too. Nor comes to visit and we see the commandment dildo hanging above the mantle.

and that's that on that.

[solradguy]

Is there a canonical reason why Sol was dripped out in the middle of the Holy War during his greasy trash man era?

Do you think Kliff gave him an allowance and one day and he went into town then came back Riot branded head to toe? Do you think Riot sponsored the Holy War?

I like to imagine Kliff put him in charge of the month’s funds for food and Sol spent it all on his designed Riot Holy Order Uniform. Then Kliff said “Haha Sol you have spent all of our money we will now starve” and then it was a really awkward month that made Sol decide to leave the Order

Post-Begin to post-Crusades Sol basically doesn't have any lore so you can just say whatever and it has just as high odds of maybe being true some day tbh lol

Sol was a bounty hunter before joining the Holy Order though. Probably he rolled up with fat stacks of cash, they showed him the uniform and he was like "fuck OFF I only wear red," and then had his boys over at Riot make him a custom tailored Holy Order uniform with its stupid fingerless-not-fingerless gloves with steel fingernails with RIOT stamped on them

but then Sol didn't have any money left over and ate all the Holy Order's food and Kliff said they will now starve anyway

[lil-cattz]

happy 4-20 babies 😘

[shift-shaping]

hello assorted sluts, marauders, and various other entities of ill-repute

i want to let you all know that i will be doing field work for the next two weeks-ish starting tomorrow. while i will have internet access, i'm not bringing my laptop. as such, i'm probably not going to post any new fics during that time. i have them, and will be writing more of them, but i hate editing on my phone very much, so they will not be ready for your eyes.

i'll still be around, though less than usual because i need to go sit in a quarry and poke at a wall with a dental pick all day so i can find more body parts from these things and their many horrible (affectionate) neighbors

(art by scott reid)

[iamthepulta]

I've been listening to Glasgow Ghost Stories and it's so sweet and also clever and good <3

I was hooked by the actually-unnerving horror/ghost writing in the first few episodes, and how short the episodes were. And then I found myself getting genuinely attached to the ghosts and the story itself. Highly recommend~

[puppyeared]

[kirby-the-gorb]

[clits-and-clips]

Since writing the affirmations and starting manifestation again, I've actually been in a much better headspace. It's crazy how things align, and you end up where you need to be, especially through pain

[dullahandyke]

all fun and games being a college student until youre lookin at recipes like 'i dont have a knife that isnt a butter knife. i only have one pot and no pan. making me buy two different types of oil seems like a scam. can i freeze homemade wedges if i make them'

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

i am asleep much in the way that Wally is asleep. that is to say, I Am Not Sleeping

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

i am going to take a shower and i am going to get into bed and i am going to read my book and i will stop fucking thinking for five minutes and fall the fuck asleep

[starbuck]

this morning i was just living life as usual and now i have applied for one of my dream (seasonal) jobs and have mountain goats tickets so like. :))

[hella1975]

my mum picking me up this morning: you're not as hungover as i thought you'd be

me, just yacked in an alleyway: yeah haha