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robinrunsfiction · 4 years

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A Long Way Home - Part 2

Part 1

Pairing: Gerard Way x Female Reader Rating: General Requested By: Anon Word Count: ~7900 total, about ~4450 in part 2 (minus the song lyrics used) Author’s Note: The song featured is Audience of One by Rise Against, it can be found in the playlist, here. I hope you enjoy the conclusion to the story!

As the tour rolled on, (YN) started to wonder if maybe there was a chance that the crazy commenters online were right about the possibility of her and Gerard being something.

It seemed like he always made time to see them perform now, and talked to her when he got the chance. It was never overtly flirtatious, but she couldn't help but wonder and hope that he was trying to get closer to her.

Unfortunately the tour had reached the halfway point and that meant saying goodbye to Taking Back Sunday. (YN) felt so thankful that she could now count Adam, John, Shawn and Mark among her friends.

Now Crystal Lake Cemetery had joined the tour and the overall vibe shifted. There had been such a welcoming camaraderie at first, but the new band didn't seem to want much to do with anyone else, returning to their own bus after their set was done. Rebecca and Jake took their lead, leaving Liam and (YN) to hang out with My Chem whenever the opportunity presented itself.

Now it was finally one of the rare days where there was enough time between shows to get a night in a hotel. Everyone appreciated the chance to get a decent shower and sleep in a real bed.

Everyone except (YN). She found herself on a couch in the hotel lobby after going out for dinner and drinks with Liam. He had started chatting with a guy, and ended up bringing him back to the hotel. All she could do now was wait for him to let her know it was ok to come back to the room and scroll through social media.

Up in his room, Gerard was doing the same when he noticed the square icon at the top of his phone. He smiled to himself when he saw that it was a notification that (YN) had updated her story. He opened it up and saw it was a selfie of her pouting dramatically. With the caption "i havent been sexiled from a room since that semester i went to college 😫"

‘Where are you?’

The DM from Gerard surprised (YN), not only because he saw her post, but how quickly after posting it he responded.

‘Lobby. Liam brought a guy back, so I'm waiting for the all clear to go back up.’

‘Wanna hang out in my room?’

(YN) felt her heart rate shoot up. ‘Sure’ she replied as casually as she could with shaking fingers.

‘529′ he replied moments later and she jumped up, hurrying to the elevator. The ride up felt like it was moving painfully slow. She tried to keep her pace casual as she walked down the hall and smiled at Luke and Will, two of the members of Crystal Lake Cemetery who were talking in the doorway of the room across the hall, before knocking on Gerard's door.

“Hey,” he greeted her with a smile and she tried to keep from letting her knees go weak.

“Hey, thanks for inviting me up. I was getting kinda bored in the lobby,” she laughed as she walked in.

“Of course. Umm, wanna watch a movie?" Gerard asked as he made his way over to the couch.

"Sure, whatever's on," (YN) replied as she sat down next to him. She couldn’t help but wonder who designed the layout of the room with the couch not actually facing the tv as she found herself sitting sideways.

"Looks like The Martian is about to start, have you seen it?"

"Once when I was in a hotel room in Rochester, but I had taken so many cold meds that day, I'm pretty sure I thought I was a martian," she laughed. "I was so sick that tour. I hate when they schedule shows in the winter."

“I agree, those are always kinda miserable, seems like everything is always cold and wet. Oh, do you wanna stretch out?” He asked when he noticed how she was shifting uncomfortably.

“Sure,” she laughed a little nervously as she stretched her legs out over his lap. It wasn’t much later that her eyelids began to grow heavy and the next thing she knew, she was waking up as the end credits were playing, and her head was against Gerard's shoulder. Then she realized his arm was around her, his other hand on her shin, rubbing small circles, almost absentmindedly. "I guess I'm never gonna see this movie," she mumbled, feeling a little awkward.

"That's too bad, it was pretty good," Gerard laughed.

(YN) picked up her phone from where it had slid to the floor and saw that Liam still hadn't messaged her. "Damn dude," she muttered.

"Hmm?"

"Oh, Liam still hasn't given me the all clear. I guess him and this guy really hit it off.”

"How are things with the other two? They never seem to be around much."

"Weird. I dunno, something is going on and no one is talking about it. Well no, they're talking about it, but not to us. Liam overheard Rebecca telling Jake that I’m selfish and I care more about the band as a concept than as four people making music together," she sighed. "And I do see it now that it's been pointed out."

Gerard shook his head. "I get it, I was the same way the first time round. I wanted everything to be the way I envisioned it in my head, I had that goal that I was working toward and that was all I was focused on. Though, for what it's worth, I think you're pretty great."

"Stop," she replied, covering her face with her hands to hide the fact that she was blushing.

"I'm not kidding," he said tugging at her wrists. When she looked up, he was smiling softly at her.

She shook her head. "Anyway, can I crash on your couch tonight? I'm not sure the staff would appreciate a rock star sleeping in the lobby."

"You take the bed, I'll sleep on the couch," Gerard replied.

"Gee, no, I'm the one who is invading your space!" She said getting up.

"I invited you," he replied, getting up as well.

"Share?" The word tumbled out of her mouth before she could even realize what she said.

Gerard looked a little caught off guard. “Oh, umm, yea-”

“I’m sorry, you don’t have to. Again, I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“No, (YN), it’s fine,” he shook his head. “Please don’t worry, we can share.”

She nodded. “Ok, fine.”

The next morning she woke up and Gerard was still sleeping peacefully next to her. That was a sight she felt like she could really get used to and had to restrain herself from reaching out and brushing the hair from his face. He looked so peaceful and it warmed her heart. She rolled over and checked her almost dead phone, and found Liam had finally messaged her.

‘Ok, you can come back now’

‘Yooooooooooooo where are you i wanna talk to you come back’

‘For real text me back, i’m getting worried, if ur dead an its my fault im gonna be so mad at you’

She tried not to laugh out loud and wake Gerard. ‘I’m fine, found another room to crash in, we’ll talk soon 😁’

“Hey,” Gerard mumbled sleepily next to her.

“Hi. Thanks for letting me stay here last night,” she said as she rolled over and smiled at him.

“Anytime. I really like hanging out with you (YN).”

“Same. We should do it more often," she offered with a shrug.

"I'd love that," he replied softly.

"I should get going, Liam sent me about 100 texts," she said shaking her head. She got up and gathered the few things she had brought with her to Gerard's room. "Thanks again," she said. She didn't realize what she was doing when she held her arms out for a hug.

He smiled and got up and wrapped his arms around her. Her heart was pounding so hard she worried he would notice, but he was so warm and smelled good, she quickly forgot her worried.

Eventually she pulled back, and gave him a wave before heading out. When she opened the door, she noticed the door across the hall quickly close. She shook her head in confusion as she headed back to her room.

From that day on, things began to get strange. Garden of Woe's gear and wardrobe carts were moved into different rooms, their dinner orders were cancelled, and at a soundcheck Liam and Rebecca both found their instruments wildly out of tune, despite the guitar tech claiming he had tuned them before any of the bands came in.

“It feels like someone is fucking with us,” Liam said shaking his head as he and (YN) hung out with My Chem’s in their dressing room.

“The only thing that’s different is Crystal Lake Cemetery is here now,” Mikey said cautiously.

“Why would they be messing with us though? Are they hazing us?” (YN) asked. “I’ve never experienced anything like this, and we aren’t close enough to them for this to be okay.”

“I’m gonna have the tour manager talk to them, it’s not right that this is happening to you,” Gerard said from his spot next to (YN).

“Thanks,” (YN) smiled up at him appreciatively.

“Of course,” he replied looking back at her fondly. They were again oblivious to the looks being exchanged by their friends around them.

The talk must have worked, as nothing further was done to mess with the bands stuff, but what (YN) didn’t know was how the rumor mill was now working overtime.

“I can’t deal with this, I fucking can’t deal with this. Fuck this, fuck you, I can’t believe it,” (YN) snapped before rushing out of the dressing room. Tears stung at her eyes, blurring her vision so she couldn’t see who she ran into. "Fuck, sorry."

“Woah, (YN) what’s wrong?” She heard Gerard ask. She just shook her head in response and looked up at the ceiling, trying in vain to keep the tears in place. She felt Gerard taking her arm and leading her into another dressing room for privacy. But as soon as the door was shut behind them, she couldn’t hold it in anymore.

"It's over, it's all over," (YN) sobbed.

"What is? What's going on?" Gerard asked, concerned, rubbing her arms.

"Rebecca and Jake are leaving the band at the end of the tour."

"What?! Why?"

"They're gonna go have a kid and be a family and leave us behind," she wailed, the tears coming harder again. Gerard pulled her in tight and let her cry on his shoulder.

(YN) had no sense of how long she had been crying when she finally felt herself calming down and her tears slowing. "I'm so so sorry. You don't need to be bothered by my stupid problems. You're like the most important person here and I'm nobody. I’m nobody with no band anymore," (YN) said pulling back and wiping her eyes. She was thankful she hadn't put on her stage makeup yet, or his olive jacket would have been ruined.

Gerard shook his head, his eyes soft and full of sadness for her. "No, you’re important to me. And yea your band is gonna change, but you’re so talented, so is Liam, you're gonna do amazing things.”

“You think?” she asked looking up at him and he nodded. “Thank you for helping me calm down.”

“Anytime.”

She realized his hands had settled on her waist, and she looked back up at him as she clung to his jacket, to find he was still smiling down at her softly. This was the dream for her. Well, not the part where she found out half her band was leaving, but being held by Gerard Way while on tour together. The fan fic was practically writing itself in her mind until she felt her phone vibrating in her back pocket.

“Ugh, I gotta go deal with this,” she replied when she saw the text messages rolling in from Clark in all capital letters with many expletives and exclamation marks.

Garden of Woe's show that night was not their best, but no one spoke of it, mainly due to none of the band members speaking to each other at all. The bus ride to the next town was silent and when they arrived, Liam and (YN) found a private place to talk about the situation alone.

"I can learn drums, and play and sing like Don Henley. Or we could call Dallon and Ryan and see if they wanna form a supergroup? I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND Garden of Woe?" (YN) suggested.

"Genius," Liam laughed. "But (YN), we're gonna be fine. We'll figure this out as we go along. Well take a break and maybe they'll even change their minds."

"Jake maybe, but I doubt Rebecca will. She's been on edge for a long time, I just don't know if this life was ever for her. Maybe she's doing exactly what she needs to."

"What was it she called you?" Liam smirked.

"Scene whore," (YN) laughed darkly as she shook her head.

"Yea, that was something else.”

"I don't wanna talk about this anymore. I got my call with my therapist in five minutes."

"You doing ok?" Liam asked, concern crossing his face.

"This whole situation just reminded me a lot of what my mom did. Bailing on us to form a new family and all that."

Liam nodded thoughtfully, remembering how betrayed (YN) had felt when her mom left. "I get it," he replied as (YN) got up. "But hey."

"What?" (YN) stopped in her tracks.

"Remember what got you through back then?"

A smile fought its way across (YN)'s face. "Listening to hours and hours of My Chemical Romance?" Liam shrugged with a smug smile. "I'll give it a shot," (YN) laughed.

That night as she stood off stage (YN) felt like she was going to puke. The crowd was already so loud and the lights hadn’t even gone down yet.

“Ready?” Liam asked.

“Not at all,” she shook her head. “But fuck it, let’s go.”

The duo walked out on stage, where two stools and microphones were set up, a spotlight shining down. “What’s up California?!” (YN) shouted and the crowd cheered. “We are half of Garden of Woe, unfortunately Rebecca and Jake are both feeling under the weather tonight, so we’re gonna do a short acoustic set for you and then Crystal Lake Cemetery is gonna be out here to do an extra long set to get you hyped up for My Chemical Romance!”

The crowd cheered, albeit less enthusiastically than before. (YN) felt like shit lying to the audience like that, but Rebecca and Jake couldn’t be convinced to come off the bus, and it was either they do a modified set, or give up their time on stage altogether. The duo started with a couple of their best songs that sounded good while being played acoustically.

“Ok, we have one more song for you, it’s a cover of a song that means a lot to me by Rise Against. It’s called Audience of One. Thanks again guys you’ve been amazing,” (YN) said and Liam started playing. (YN) knew that it would take a miracle to make it through the song without breaking down.

I can still remember The words and what they meant As we etched them with our fingers In years of wet cement The days blurred into each other Though everything seemed clear We cruised along at half speed But then we shifted gears We ran like vampires from a thousand burning suns But even then we should have stayed But we ran away Now all my friends are gone Maybe we've outgrown all the things that we once loved Runaway But what are we running from? A show of hands from those in this audience of one Where have they gone? Identities assume us As nine and five add up Synchronizing watches To the seconds that we lost I looked up and saw you I know that you saw me We froze but for a moment In empathy I brought down the sky for you but all you did was shrug You gave my emptiness a name Then you ran away And now all my friends are gone Maybe we've outgrown all the things that we once loved Runaway But what are we running from? A show of hands from those in this audience of one Where have they gone? We're all okay, until the day we're not The surface shines, while the inside rots We raced the sunset and we almost won We slammed the brakes, but the wheels went on We ran away And now all my friends are gone Maybe we've outgrown all the things that we once loved Runaway But what are we running from? A show of hands from those in this audience of one Where have they gone?

The tears streamed down (YN)’s face as she finished singing. She didn’t know if the crowd could see it or not, and she didn’t know if she cared either way. She waved with Liam at the crowd and retreated off the stage. As soon as they were out of sight, he wrapped her in a tight hug and she cried against his shoulder.

After calming down and washing her face, (YN) and Liam went out to the merch booth to sign for fans but not many turned up. As they headed back through the corridors of the venue, they spotted Clark heading toward them.

"If it isn't my favorite PR nightmare," Clark said, annoyance clear in his voice.

(YN) and Liam looked at each other. “Oooh, Liam’s in trouble,” (YN) sing-songed with a smirk.

“Not him.”

"Wait what did I do?" (YN) asked, eyes going wide, as Liam snickered.

“In here,” Clark said, nodding toward the dressing room door, shutting it behind them. "When did you start hooking up with Gerard?"

"What?! We haven't done anything, where did you hear that?!"

"Apparently just about everyone else on the tour is talking about it. They’re saying you've spent nights with him, you’ve been spotted ducking into abandoned dressing rooms with him."

"Well yea, I mean I stayed over in his room when Liam was hooking up with that guy in Texas, but we just hung out! And the dressing room thing, I don't even know when that would be other than that time I ran into him and he was comforting me when I was upset about Rebecca and Jake. Who would make something out of nothing?"

“People love starting rumors, especially about big names,” Clark shrugged. "If this gets out of just this bubble, people are gonna think-"

"Yea, yea, I know what people are gonna think," (YN) waved him off.

"We have enough problems coming up at the end of this tour, can you at least make sure this isn’t one of them?" Clark sighed before leaving the room.

Liam let out a long sigh as well. "I'm sure he's making a big deal outta nothing, don't you think?"

(YN) didn't answer, she had her head in her hands, staring at the floor. "What if Gerard thinks I started those rumors? What if he never wants to hang out with me ever again because he thinks I read too much into when we've hung out and think there's more to our friendship than there is? Now even if we ever had a chance at something more, it's ruined."

The last few nights of the tour dragged by, but they were finally back in LA for the final four shows at the Forum. The bands were given the option of staying in a hotel near the venue, but (YN) just wanted to go home. She was tired of going out of her way to avoid everyone, especially Gerard, and she wanted some peace and quiet, even if it meant dealing with traffic.

(YN) unlocked the door to her apartment and walked in, dumping her luggage just inside the door. She breathed in the stale air that filled the apartment from being closed up for two months. She felt like she was going to be taking on the world when she left, and now she was home feeling utterly defeated.

She wandered over into the kitchen and opened the fridge. It was filled with nothing but condiments that were very possibly expired. She checked the pantry and found a stash of canned soup and spaghettios. She got a pot of spaghettios heated up before moving on to her laundry.

As she threw her clothes into the washer, she wondered what she’d wear to the show tonight. Did it matter? These were the last four shows that the band would be performing together and she had to pretend like everything was fine. Should she really live it up, or give up? (YN) trudged back to her kitchen and started eating her half warm lunch straight out of the pot. Was this what her life was about to become? Miserable and alone?

That night when she arrived at the venue she hid in the dressing room until sound check. She continued to avoid everyone except Liam until the show started. After, she went to sign for the fans and for the first time she didn’t hurry back to see My Chemical Romance play. Her heart broke as she heard the first notes. She wondered if Gerard noticed she wasn't there. She wondered if he was glad she wasn't bothering him anymore.

As she laid in her bed the morning of the last show, staring up at the ceiling, she couldn’t help the tears that rolled down her cheeks. She had barely slept the last few nights, her mind racing, and she felt like shit. She dragged herself out of bed and down to the kitchen, starting a pot of coffee and staring at her still bare pantry, the last can of spaghettios staring back at her. She sighed, the feeling of defeat over everything hitting her harder than it had yet.

Her doorbell ringing made her jump, pulling her from her thoughts. For a second she considered not answering. But when it rang again she decided to check who was interrupting her self-pity fest.

"Gerard? What the hell are you doing here?" She asked when she opened the door. "And how do you know where I live?"

"Liam told me.”

"Has he told you my blood type and social security number as well?" She sneered, but held the door open for him to come in.

"I was worried about you, (YN)," he said softly, his eyes filled with worry.

"Gee," she started running her hands through her hair frustratedly. "How could you possibly care about me? I am useless damaged goods! I'm barely functional! I've been eating spaghettios for the last four days because I can't bring myself to go to the store. My band is about to break up, and meanwhile people think I fucked my way onto the tour of a lifetime. Everything is," her voice started to crack as she sank down on the couch. “This was supposed to be the best thing ever, and it was at first, but now it’s ruined and you should hate me.”

“Why?” He asked as he sat down next to her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

“Don’t you think I started those rumors about us?” She looked up at him.

“No!” he replied. “God no, I know you better than that (YN). And I know those assholes from Crystal Lake Cemetery. Now I wish we never had to bring them along on this tour because it meant that I’ve had to spend time away from you these last few days.”

(YN) was dumbfounded. “Do, do you mean that?”

Gerard nodded. “Mikey told me like the second day of tour just to ask you out, but I didn’t think I’d have a chance in hell with you. And then I got to know you even better and I, I knew I was falling for you, but I still don’t believe you could feel the same way about me.”

“How could I not?” She asked, astonished.

“Because you’re this amazing up and coming star, you’re beautiful, and funny and could get any guy you could possibly want and I’m older than you, I got an ex that everyone knows and still brings up and a kid. Because I got this grey hair, and I look like this,” he said gesturing to his body as he looked down forlornly.

“Gerard, stop it,” (YN) snapped. “I will not tolerate you being so mean to someone I love.”

His head shot up, eyes wide. "(YN), do you mean that? Do you really want me?"

"More than you could ever know," she whispered, not breaking eye contact.

Gerard leaned in and kissed (YN) hard. She immediately responded by grabbing his jacket to pull him closer before reaching up to run her hand through his hair. His hands were on his waist as he leaned into her. She took the lead, pulling him back so he was laying over her on the couch. He deepened the kiss as she let him move his tongue against hers.

When they came up for air, Gerard brushed the hair out of her eyes and she laughed lightly. “I missed that sound,” he said quietly. “God, I love you (YN). Fuck what anyone says, I wanna be with you, if you’ll have me.”

“I thought that kiss made it pretty clear I do,” she laughed softly again and he blushed. “Because I love you too, everything about you.”

He leaned in and kissed her again. “Would you like to go get lunch before we gotta be at the venue?” He asked when he pulled back.

“I would love nothing more than to not eat another can of spaghettios and get lunch with you,” she laughed.

They grabbed lunch at one of Gerard’s favorite spots, finding a secluded corner where they could talk away from any fans who might just happen to stop in. (YN) had been spending so much time with Gerard before Clark told her about the rumors that she felt like they had so much to catch up on after just a few days apart.

“So how was this for a first date?” Gerard asked after they finished eating.

“Perfect,” (YN) nodded contentedly. Gerard was looking at her with a soft smile on his face. “What?” she laughed.

“I’m just really happy,” he said, taking her hand.

“For the first time in quite a while, I am too,” she agreed.

When Liam saw Gerard and (YN) walking into the venue together, he sighed in relief. “Hey guys,” he said tentatively. “Everything good?”

(YN) nodded. “Yea, we got it all sorted out,” she said glancing up at Gerard, who was smiling back at her.

“Good because tonight should be the best show of the tour, and I could not put up with any more of your moping (YN),” Liam laughed.

“Thank you for your support in my time of need,” (YN) rolled her eyes.

“Gerard, there you are, you’re on for soundcheck,” the very tired look tour manager called from down the hall.

“I’ll see you later,” he said leaning in and gave (YN) a quick kiss before heading down the hall.

“So when you said sorted out,” Liam started.

“We’re together,” she blushed.

“My god, your 16 year old self must be dying right now,” Liam laughed.

“Stop,” (YN) shook her head before heading back to their dressing room.

When Garden of Woe took the stage for the last time, everyone played well, and the crowd was going crazy, but (YN) was struggling to act as if nothing was wrong. Her heart felt heavy until she glanced to the side of the stage and saw Gerard leaning against a crate, giving her a nod and a smile, reminding her that everything would be okay.

“Are you ok?” Gerard asked, wrapping her in a hug after the band took their last bow.

“Yep. Things change, but I think everything has ended up exactly where it needs to be,” she nodded before leaning in to kiss him again.

#gerard way x reader #gerard way fan fic #gerard way fan fiction #gerard way imagine #my chemical romance fan fic #my chemical romance fan fiction #part 2

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aharris00britney · 5 years

Photo

ASKS 19

It’s 6am and Brandon woke me up when he got up to go to work so now... i answer asks bc i cant sleep.

@mileyzangel said: Can you please make a Harley Quinn hairstyle from both Suicide Squad and Birds of Prey?

I went and watched Birds of Prey the other night and it was really good. Brandon went to sleep I think tfgvhb. But I doubt I’ll try doing her hair from either of the films. @enriques4 is working on one for her Birds of Prey look if you are interested in that <3

Anonymous said: is tiny living worth it? im leaning towards the gameplay although i love cas. is the gameplay as bad as people say?

I honestly don’t think the new beds do anything. They’re... there. Lmao I think the CAS and buy items are very nice. If we get some cc murphy beds then that would make them a lot more usable tbh.

Anonymous said: how do you and ayoshi keep making some fantastic collabs?? y'all are literally the first people i go to when I make a fresh install and I can't wait to see what you do next

Anonymous said: AxA CC KINGS!!!

Anonymous said: you guys didnt have to snap like that on AxA

Anonymous said: I LOVE EVERY SINGLE PACK U AND AYOSHI DO PLEASE KEEP MAKING MORE

Anonymous said: another iconic ah00b x ayoshi collab YAS LESSGOOOO

We put a bunch of cc ideas (hair and clothes) in a discord server we have together and then work on the stuff together on call usually so each item is the way we both want me. Like for example i’ll be meshing the Ivy top while he works on texturing the ribbed version. We also only do collabs when they happen, we didn’t plan AxA 2019 or this new set, mainly just made cc starting in May and wrapped it up in July to release in August. Then this time we started making stuff late December and got most of it done by the time I got done with my break. Having a planned collab/deadline makes stuff less stressful and the stuff usually turns out better imo

Anonymous said: hi! ur sims are so prettyyyy what skin texture and eyes do u use?

Anonymous said: hi! wcif the eyes of the sim in the edit that Dogsill edited for you please? thank you!

Anonymous said: Hi! I really love the way your sims looks so, I was what skin and eyes you use?

I actually am changing my default eyes so I need to update my resource page soon ;n; but the skins they use are all listed for each sim on the resource page here

Anonymous said: you always name axa packs by the year but this one was named after a season those that mean.... 👀

We are wanting to do something in the fall, just not sure how our lives will be then ya know? There’s a chance that this will be the AxA 2020. Since we weren’t sure I didn’t want to label it that if 2 AxA’s release this year lmao

Anonymous said: what game is the pokemon thing you're playing!? pls help a guy out i'm in love with the art style

Pokemon Sword and Shield (I have shield) for Nintendo Switch. I’ll prob post more pics once I get some new shinies :P

@kristabunny said: lol is it bad that when I saw your Santana hair I read it as Satan Hair XD

tbhhhhh it was lowkey referencing that lmao. I made the hair in October for a speed meshing video and since it was around Halloween I was like “lemme give her an almost demonic name” also Santana from glee is a queen

Anonymous said: Tbh I absolutely adore your female cc but I LIVE for your male cc!!!

Thank you! lmao the only thing I can take full credit for is the AxA male hairs. I mesh the clothes for packs but ayoshi does the texturing for them.

Anonymous said: Could you have a go at the updo Dua Lipa has on the cover of her Future Nostalgia? The high bun with a flick in it and the strands of hair down the sides. Thanks if so :)

I’m not the biggest fan of the hairstyle tbh ;n; but we will see. (Physical is a serve, just saying)

Anonymous said: So ive never played pokemon before until my friend gave me a copy of pokemon moon. I love cats so of course my starter was a litten, but i had no clue about evolutions or anything like that. I was heartbroken when my cute litten turned into some big man cat :(

omg noooo ;n; yeah Litten is a cutie... incineroar is... well I got used to him tbh and kind of like him now? I absolutely hate scorbunny’s evolution (and most of the SWSH starters final evolution) so I think that made incineroar slightly better in my eyes. My shiny litten will be staying a kitten however :)

@multifandom-slytherin said: Hello! I love your cc! Would it be possible for you to make the bangs from your Bree Hair a separate accessory that you can put with other hairs (for example the BG low ponytail)? Thank you so much!

Anonymous said: have u considered making or allowing someone to make an acc version of your handmade bangs?

I have thought of doing accessory bangs tbh, I just like... don’t like using accessory bangs myself. So I’m not sure if I’ll end up doing it. I might try it for myself and see how many hairs they work with, and if it is a decent amount I’ll release.

Anonymous said: First off I want to say how amazing all of your hairs and collabs are! Second I was curious if you ever thought of going back to your old hairs and updating their thumbnails / display indexes so they matched your stuff now?

I really really wanted to have all my 2019 hairs updated by 2020. It was only January 2019-April 2019 that needed updated (thumbnails and display indexes). But I just lost motivation for doing it. I will focus on it next time I have a big break from school. Also planning on updating select stuff from 2018 and 2017.

Anonymous said: please put Sophia Barker in the gallery. PLEASEEEEE it's the most beautiful sim I EVER seen! >:3 PLEASEEE!!!!!!!!!!

She should be on there? I think? Make sure you have CC enabled and if you can’t find me through the gallery her tray files are here

Anonymous said: Hi! After the recent patch I started having a small issue with Bree hair(without bangs), when I zoom out it looks like a completely different hair, something similar to that one basegame hair that's layered with tips pointed outward but longer. Thought I'd let you know, maybe others have had a similar issue or maybe I need to change a setting or something. Love your work so much!

Really surprised this is the first time someone told me about this lmao. The hair should be updated now on SFS/Patreon <3

Anonymous said: I tried to look around for this on your "Asks" portion before bothering you (so sorry), but do you have a link perhaps for all the lips you use on your models? Are they in game or a cc you create? Thanks so much! Love all of your work! I'm super new to cc stuff and I found yours like 2 days ago and have been going nuts with downloads lol

like presets? None of my cc models use a lip preset. I do use this slider on some of them though. For lipsticks, that is listed for each model on my resource page <3

Anonymous said: i’ve been looking for a hair like lexi that i actually like forever and now i find it but it’s for paterson peeps and i’m like actually broke and i’m like :/

im sorry ;n; at least it wasn’t too long of a wait? :/ I hope you liked the hair

Anonymous said: I can't find your jisoo ponytails in your downloads?

they’re in my retired section... may they rest in peace. scroll to the bottom of my downloads and youll see ‘RETIRED.’ click that for the retired download page.

@eclypt-0-sims said: Hi, I recently started making MM hair and I know you're probably an expert at this but; every time I go into CAS to test a hair, all of my accessories clip with the hair. Like the hair texture would cover some glasses if my sim was wearing glasses. I don't know how to fix it, someone told me to delete an eye weight in blender but I don't really understand weight painting that much, any suggestions? love your content btw

this is a late as hell reply i’m sorry. I think that you have texture where the glasses texture would be. Hair texture should only be in hair section or hat section (if you don’t want it hat compatible). Here is a UV map layout that I use for making hair textures. It shouldnt have anything to do with weights

Anonymous said: Do you use reshade when you take previews for your cc? and also is the tropical punch ombre overlay a palette or did you make it?

I do use reshade when I take cc previews. It adds a bit of saturation to my sims and gives them some shadows under their chin/clothes. Nothing major. Also, myself and @imvikai came up with the tropical punch palette together.

@little-eris said: You probably have answered this before but who drew your tumblr icon? I’ve seen the same art style with other simmers 👉🏼👈🏼 it’s super cute!

thank you! here is their twitter

Anonymous said: The male sim in your Tiny Living review looks soo familiar; was there inspiration from anyone IRL? The person he reminds me of isn't even famous so I don't even know! He is very pretty though *-*

He was a gallery sim that I just revamped a bit so I’m honestly not super sure lmao. But he is very attractive yes I agree

that concludes this ask ceremony please collect your things and move to the exit to your left. fvghbjn if you sent something I didn’t answer and it was off anon I’ll get to you soon (person who asked what beards I used for AxA... I see you)

#asks #not me spending an hour doing this #im actually kinda tired now but do i sleep #or do i just stay up... i have class at 12 #it is 7am now

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fairycosmos · 4 years

Note

Hi... I don’t know if you saw my last post, it’s ok if you didn’t, i just want to vent. (I was the closeted person who said they might move in with their grandma if I can’t go back to San Francisco). I visited her today. I realized there’s no way I can move in there. Her (now dead) husband was very abusive and inappropriate towards me. I forgot that she would have photos of him on the walls. She kept taking about him too. It was very triggering for me. :( there’s no way I can do it.

hey yeah god i just scrolled and saw your message, im so sorry i didn’t get back to you sooner !! and that you’re being put in this situation in the first place like fuck dude 😞 i honestly cant imagine how painful this must be right now 😞 i dont blame you at all for not being able to handle living there, like you literally shouldn’t have to?? it’s a site of trauma AND you deserve much more than having to deal with a homophobe every day, seriously. it’s fucked up that your grandma would keep bringing him up. god. i can definitely relate to that. family bonds are just so unbelievably toxic and suffocating at times. you said in your other ask that you could stay with your mum but i understand why that’s not ideal either, however i really don’t think there’s any shame in prioritizing your mental health and safety above all else. even if neither option is exactly preferred. COVID really does have all of us fucked up, especially when it comes to planning our futures or moving around our countries, because there’s just no way to know how things are going to turn out. so i promise it’s alright not to have a plan and to process anger, sadness, disappointment etc at the situation, it’s completely natural. this is going to be a long and arduous period of adjustment in which obstacles are to be expected, both personally and generally. as long as you try your best not to internalize these negative feelings in a way that harms or blames you, then you’re doing better than you realize. instead, i think practicing small but positive coping mechanisms every day and building your routine around them could really help - finding a happy place, meditating, breathing exercises, venting to friends/a hotline/a professional, writing. these aren’t solutions or anything, just ways to alleviate the heaviness. you truly do not have to go through this alone, and it’s not going to be this way forever, alright? you’ll find your new normal again. regardless of what your mind tells you or of how stressed you get, you are worth the world and your past/your abusive family members do not change that fact. i promise. as a side note, i’m wondering if theres any friends you can stay with, or any rooms currently up for rent in your area? i totally understand if you don’t have the funds or the resources etc, but if it’s something you could look into i’d really recommend it, just to have your own space and peace of mind. but if not and if you’re going to be staying with your mum for a while, maybe you could save up for a mattress and start making adjustments/room for yourself so that you’re more comfortable there. idk what your dynamic is like with your mum, but you deserve to feel safe and to have a place to live while the pandemic plays out. it’s totally understandable that you’re completely overwhelmed and that you feel like you’re at your wits end right now. you’ve been through so much and had to deal with stuff no one should ever have to deal with, and i mean it in the least patronizing way when i say i’m v proud of you for being here to send this. your grandmother can fuck off❤️ whatever you need, for your own growth and mental stability, whatever that looks like - it’s possible to find. even if it doesn’t happen all at once. im sending you a lot of love, i really hope you can sort something out that works for you. if you need a friend please dont hesitate to hmu. i’ll be here. take it one day at a time love x

#anon

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taylornock · 4 years

Text

how cell phones made our lives better while simultaneously ruining them

hi fam!! it’s me, again. are you tired of hearing from me? me too. that’s why I’m here to rant about social media / phone / technology. bc i hate it… but in a loving way???

everyone remembers when they got their first iPhone. seriously. why is that such a monumental moment in our lives? i can hardly remember what i felt like freshman year of high school but can pinpoint the feeling of sheer glee unwrapping my iPhone 6 in eighth grade. i have this thing that is attached to me 24/7 - when I go anywhere (even downstairs) without my phone i feel weird. that is f***ing SAD! PATHETIC. i hate feeling that dependent on what is essentially a pocket robot.

for what it’s worth - phones have done INCREDIBLE things for the world as we know it. for example, this quarantine shit has been testing all of us; and our phones are helping us get through it in so many ways. our phones let us see the faces of those loved ones we are missing, our phones provide us with stupid tik tok content to keep everything light hearted, and our phones let us check in on each other. all amazing things! when we are at school, we have instant access to our lives at home . being able to call my mom whenever i want is something i definitely abuse. “mom, I’m on my way home from Thompson right now and i think i have a brain aneurysm but my bio final is at 11am tomorrow will i make it” … an actual conversation i had with my mom at the end of freshman year. needless to say i was medicated shortly after THAT meltdown. I am such a brat that i don’t know what i would do if i couldn’t text my dad and have him immediately get me the password again to our Uverse account…… god forbid i miss an episode of the bachelor. i have this phone, and that’s what i do with it? abuse its powers to ask my parents for medical advice or a password i forgot? have we lost sight of everything here?

throughout life and especially throughout quarantine… my phone is the definition of a possession that is a blessing and a curse. I’m so grateful to have the ability to bother my friends - whenever i want! the options are endless! i love keeping in touch with people i thought id never hear from again, and being able to talk to so many people in my life and make my heart swell. now, when a conversation with someone other than my two roommates (shoutout parents) is so rare ⎯ that phone is my weapon and i use it to help flatten the curve: flatten the curve of covid19 and flatten the curve of my mental illness 🙃 [humor is a coping mechanism okay let me live] but like, i KNOW i’m not the only one that looks at my screen time and immediately wants to die. how can i honestly be looking at my phone for that long? picking it up THAT many times?????? my phone is the best distraction and also the most toxic - it makes me feel better but has a tendency to bring up all my issues and blast them into the reflection of my blue light glasses...... its called fashion look it up.

to give some examples - let’s open up my most used app: snapchat. I go on snapchat with the best of intentions - to see a memory from a year ago that makes me smile. to respond to my friends and see what their mood today is based on the look on their face. to creep on snap stories and see what everyone’s cooking and doing with their lives. somehow, tho, after spending a few minutes on the app.. i end up with a pit in my stomach most of the time. the person i want to respond hasn’t responded in 4 hours. oh god lets overthink this- they don’t like me anymore and are no longer interested in speaking to me and only respond every once in a while out of pity or because they are uncomfortable. everyone hates you. oh and GOD FORBID someone leaves me on open??! I am not funny nor interesting nor worth a reply - suddenly, i have equated my value to receiving or not receiving a photo of someone’s blank stare. this is extreme, and this is dramatic. but trust me —— this is the hamster wheel always turning in my head. I’m not even going to touch on snap maps; that feature is pandoras box and someone better fucking shut it.

second most used app is instagram. i scroll for hours, i have time limits set for the app acting like i’m actually going to listen to them and get off. lmaooooooooo. i love looking at aesthetic stuff and dogs and food and recipes and my friends’ beautiful faces. but you know what i don’t like? constant nudges to compare myself to others. oh look at her having a party with all of her friends even though we aren’t supposed to be. am i a loser for trying to be safe? oh look at her washboard abs, i’m never going to look like that and will never live up to the standard of beauty society has set for me. look at all of these people in their happy relationships. why can’t i have that? it goes over and over and over. its not like i sit there and think of these things just like that, its a precedent in my mind when i stare at everybody else that i am going to size my own life up against theirs. for years i followed every single elite model / VS angel on instagram to motivate me to do better - to start being psycho about what i did to my body so i could be as gorgeous as them. what kind of fucked up mindset is that? i would literally watch their footage of them eating rice and vegetables once a day and try to copy it. i would watch their runway walks obsessively trying to recreate them in heels alone in my house - like that was all i could imagine doing with my life. did i ever stop for a second to look at that photoshoot of gigi hadid and wonder if she was happy? wonder if the constant pictures she saw of herself ever made her insecure? what was i doing? the day i unfollowed those girls was a monumental day in my journey to a better self image. i didn’t realize the people i thought were my “motivators” were actually my triggers. i have grown to a point in life now that i would much rather eat a stack of chocolate chip pancakes that make me dance in my chair like an infant than practice my runway walk and shame my body in the mirror. and i am so freakin happy!

i could go app by app for hours. but moving on to the next thing i hate about cell phones - how they have destroyed our biological methods of communication. you hear about those psychos who think the world is destroyed by technology and we are going to be overrun by robots. but hey, I’m with the psychos on this one. i have this amazing friend, Trevor Wright, who without fail at EVERY dinner announces “phones off friends on” and collects our phones into the center of the table. yes, we are 20 year old adults. yes, we hand our phones over to Trevor and let him yell at us for trying to see if ~that person~ snap chatted us back. i have so much respect for him because of this. there is nothing worse than staring at your phones when you could be having a good conversation about life, about love, about laughter + memories, about “do you think hellen keller is real?” anything, bro, anything. anything but snapchat messaging your hoe of the week or mindlessly playing tetris to twiddle your thumbs. we all need to start loving a little harder, and the first step to doing that is to communicate better. communicate smarter. I’m guilty of alllll of the above, don’t get me wrong. and I am ADD asf and constantly playing mindless games just to stimulate my brain. but i need to stop that! even writing this is taking some time away from the dumb shit on my phone - and encouraging me to communicate how i r e a l l y feel to my homies that will read this. communication - especially body language - is fascinating. I’ve studied it in psych, I’ve learned the neurological bases of behavior and why we do what we do. I’ve learned how much our life experience impacts who we are as a whole...and it! is! fascinating! i also think that’s why i love film so much. because it can capture the raw moments of your friends just being your friends, of you just being the person you are, and the world around you just existing as it exists. i love the raw moments; and not just because indy blue posted one youtube video of her slow mo laughing and now thats the only footage i find myself shooting. 😚

im not quite sure what this post is, lol. but - just a rant on technology. so listen to me:

take advantage of technology + social media! it CAN BE GREAT. for so many reasons. but, don’t let technology + social media TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU. stay true to you - know how to communicate with yourself and your loved ones without the use of a robot. remember that feeling when you setup up your first iPhone? imagine if you could feel that again, with your phone nowhere in sight. if you don’t know how to communicate with yourself yet, start by journaling. WRITE! TYPE! SPEAK! do what you want. getting your thoughts down even without an audience is so crucial to understanding yourself and others. if you don’t like to write, reflect. breathe. meditate. make art. do what makes you feel at peace, and do whatever makes you feel like the world makes a little bit more sense than it does.

IF YOU ARE READING DOWN TO HERE, I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU, SAY IT BACK! LIFE IS A FUCKING HIGHWAY. AND IM SO GLAD YOU’RE ON MY INTERSTATE. <3

xoxoxoxo

gossip girl

#phones #socialmedia #rant #blog #hi #tender #loveme #quarantine #covid19 #cellphones #iphone #followme!#taylor #tiktok #trending #writing

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jtrbluv · 6 years

Text

surprise!!! | kth

pairing: taehyung x reader I MEAN DREA (HA) @duvetae

genre: fluff, mild angst, crack cuz we’re crackheads

warnings: slightly suggestive language

word count: 1072

synopsis: i don’t know man it’s a surprise

A/N: HAPPY BIRTHDAY DREA!! THIS IS MY LATE BIRTHDAY PRESENT LOL. IM LIKE NOT SATISFIED WITH IT GRR. ANYWAYS HERE YA GOO :D MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE HOPE YOU HAD A GREAT DAY <3

❅ ❅ ❅

I guess you could say it’s rather difficult having an idol boyfriend. Especially when your birthday coincidentally had to be in December. The end of the year signals the time of special performances and award shows, which also means, it would be extremely difficult for you to see your boyfriend, Kim Taehyung.

These past few weeks, all you’d been doing is preparing for those dreaded finals. It had absolutely drained your system, almost making you forget the fact that your birthday was in fact, growing extremely close.

With the end of finals, winter break had begun. You could finally have some peace and quiet and make up for the lack of sleep you had experienced for the past 2 weeks. You finally woke up, checking your phone to see it is 12:30 PM, way the past the time you usually wake up. With a groan, you sluggishly roll out of bed to complete your usual morning routine. After that, you sit on the edge of the bed to open your phone, only to be delightfully greeted by an immense amount of birthday messages.

Crap, did I really forget about my birthday??

Throwing yourself back into the fluffy mountain that was your pillows, you smile to yourself at some of the messages. Suddenly, the screen of your phone lights up with a few familiar faces. Your two best friends, Jay and Jen were trying to FaceTime you.

They immediately began to nag at you for waking up so late.

“Oi! Sleepyhead! Do you realize what time it is??”

“Time to sleep y’all so LeT mE BE”

“You dumb hoe, do you realize what today is??”

“I know it’s my birthday. It’s not that big of a deal.”

“You’re very funny Y/N. Getcho ass up, we’ll pick you up in half an hour.”

“Alright, alright.”

You managed to roll out of your bed as you began to rummage through your closet to find something to wear. You picked out a deep burgundy knit sweater and your favorite pair of mom jeans as you slipped a knit headband over your head cause’ goddamn it was fucking cold as hell outside.

You trudged into your kitchen as you quickly made a bowl of cereal and slurped it as quickly as you could. You sat down at your desk as you scrolled through your twitter feed as you come across 7 handsome faces wishing you a happy birthday, apologizing for not being able to make it here for your birthday. A small smile spread across your face as you scrolled down even more to see a post for you from specifically Taehyung, it said,

“Hi ARMY and my lovely Y/N. I would like to wish my beautiful girl, Y/N, a happy birthday. I absolutely am sorry for not being able to be there right now for your birthday. I love you so much and you deserve the world. You’re the cutest little thing and I’m so happy I can call you mine. Everyone go wish Y/N a happy birthday for me!!! 1! 2! 3! GO!!”

A single tear came rolling down your cheek as you realized that this was your first birthday having Taehyung as your boyfriend. It would be a lie if you were to say that things hadn’t been difficult ever since you two had gotten together but you weren’t lying when you told others that it was so worth it. You knew he didn’t have a choice but to put priority to his job that forced him to have a schedule that would make things so hard for the two of you to be able to spend time with one another. And that was okay.

You grab your maroon kanken as you hear your friends pull up to your driveway. They start to honk as you shove all your belongings in your bag and run out the door.

“OKAY OKAY I’M HERE SHUT UP HOES!”

Your two best friends greeted you with bright smiles and laughter as you jumped into the car, ready for the next adventure you three were gonna go on.

You fell asleep almost as soon as you entered the car. They took you to your favorite boba spot where they, of course, got you your favorite drink, jasmine green milk tea with boba. After that, you all went to the mall and messed around in stores, looking at clothes you could never afford to buy, and trying on prom dresses because duH why not. Most of the day was spent reminiscing in all your memories spent together. Thinking about the crazy story of how all 3 of you met.

The day went by so quickly and unfortunately came to an end. Jen and Jay dropped you off back home, looking extremely giddy and excited for you although the day was ending. You thanked them for the amazing day and went back to the comforts of your bed.

You scrolled through your phone as you smile at all the posts army’s had tagged you in, wishing you a happy birthday and a successful relationship with Tae as time goes on. Your smile slowly fades as you start to think about him, you missed him, so much. With the world tour and all these end of the year award shows, it barely gave you time to communicate with one another and it really stung sometimes to dwell on the matter. You tried to get rid of the thoughts of your head and drift off to sleep until your phone starts to ring.

Who would be calling me at this time?

You rubbed your eyes as you sat up and grabbed your phone. The eyebrows immediately raise as you read the name,

Taehyung?!

You immediately answer.

Tae, what are you-

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY LOVE!! I miss you so much.”

“I miss you too. Congratulations on all your awards!! I’m so proud of you and the boys. Next time, don’t cry as much because, fuck, I was sobbing as much as you were babe.”

“Haha, sorry Y/N.”

“I’m joking Tae.”

“I know.”

“Don’t you have rehearsal?”

“Uhh, yes, but I have some spare time, and I wanted to surprise you hehe.”

“Thank you so much. I was about to fall asleep too.”

“Before you go, do you want me to sing for you?”

“Is that even a question?”

undefined

youtube

“Y/N?”

“Yes?”

“Open the door.”

MASTERLIST

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blackbutler-readerinsertsandjunk · 7 years

Text

Revenge (extended edition)

So I’m sorry it got way longer than expected. You don’t have to publish it if you think it’s bad :)

(Warning: 18+ language.)

Revenge

Honestly, Agni’s always felt like he’s not really good enough for you. It’s nothing you or anyone else did; it’s just that he thinks you’re pretty much the most amazing person in the world, too amazing, and he… doesn’t think that he’s good enough for someone who’s the most amazing person in the world.

You’re the proclaimed “ genius-billionaire-philanthropist-player”. You had your first Ph.D at 14. You cured three type of cancer, one of which was how you two met- because your cure saved him. You made your fortune in tech - “real life Tony Stark” was on your Time magazine “Person of the Year” cover headline. You negotiated a peace between the two Koreas. You cured AIDS! For goodness sake. Peoples may have their opinions about how you seem to be, but your fuck-all attitude is so impressive, the Kardashian pays to go to your parties that were hosted without you ever showing up.

But him? He’s nothing.

No wealth, no fancy degree, no family worth speaking of - other than Soma. He’s just a kindergarten teacher for a private school where the tuition per year is almost more than his own salary. You saved his life, the reason why he’s not six-feet under but towering over most people at six feet five inches.

“Palpable eye-candy.”

“He’s exotic, we’ll give him that.”

“A kindergarten teach? Fo’real? That’s what The She IRL Tony Stark is into. Damn. I’m better than that and I can’t even find a date.”

“Pfft. probs keep that blond mop-head as a philanthropy trophy.”

“I wonder if he’s actually a pedo? Or a tranny, no real man is that pathetic.”

“Ay’yo ma, kill urself so I get a chance aye?”

“What do you call a male gold digger? A man whore?”

“Man-whore, man-slut. Whatev.”

And so on.

He hides these tweets, comments, gossips - whatever they are from you. Good thing that despite being the Tech magnate, you don’t care much for social media, other than what the trending memes is.

Until one day when he couldn’t. Even from all the loves and hugs and smiles he’s receive each day at school from his wonderful students.

“They’re funny!”

You insisted with a mouth full of strawberry starburst. It’s hard to imagine that the woman who brings fear on a world-stage level is his wife. Wearing long ebony hair in a messy bun, buried oversized sweater (previously his) stained with BBQ sauce, lounging around on the sofas, munching on chips, and cackling at memes he can’t understand, it’s hard to believe you’re the same person that walked out the door with butlers and guards trailing behind you.

That said, it’s moment like this that reminds him of how much in love with you he is - and the shame bubbles from inside him, clawing at his throat, threatening to spill over. The same feeling he’s been having since the media caught wind of the fact that you two are married.

He sat down behind you, surprising you with a hug. He figured that if he buried his face in your back long enough, he’ll regain enough composure to stop himself from crying from the sheer cruelty of people he’d never meet.

(You’re not surprised when he hugs you of course, he’s always been the more affectionate one. Correction, he’s the epitome of affection, love, goodness, and anything that’s GOOD^tm.)

(While you are, in short, an emotionless, semi-borderline psychopathic asshole and mostly an impatient bitch. If it wasn’t for Agni, you would’ve just blew North Korea off the maps with their own nuclear arsenal instead of spending months of planning with the joint forces of the South Korean government, the USA, and U.N forces.)

(You never once stop complaining during this time. And it was the God of Patience, personified as Agni, the only person who could manage to calm you down every time you’d wake up in the middle of the night, rambling about how much faster it would be to “Just. Bomb. The. Shit. Out. Of. Those. Commie.”)

(You still can’t understand why to this day, Agni refuses to accept his critical role in your so-called “peace negotiation” of the Koreas”.)

“What’s wrong?” You asks nonchalantly as you scrolls through your thousandth meme for the day. It’s one your way of keep yourself sane - the main way being Agni, obv.

“It’s nothing. Just work, nothing you should worry about.” He answers, resting his face on your shoulder, “but also, you promised me you’d drink less.”

“I did. I’ve only got two beers and half a bottle of mini-Jack Danny today.” You bit into a chip. Something’s off. He doesn’t usually brings up your shitty alcoholic habit unless it’s seriously too much, or if he’s deflecting.

“Uh, sure you did. I can still smell it on your breath.” He replies in a disappointed voice, his Teacher’s voice. The one he knew that you hate. Or at the most, mildly dislike. It is an impossibility to hate him.

“Whatever. Shouldn’t you be, I don’t know? Grading some kiddie finger painting or something?” You snaps back in a bored voice, , expecting him to muzzle you with your bowl of chips in return.

Instead, Agni pulls away, you turn back and his eyes are just spilling with hot tears.

You froze, unsure of what to do. Your computer like mind immediately rewind itself and methodically sort itself to all events within the past 72 hours to see where you might’ve gone wrong to make him cry.

“Why did you marry me?” He asks softly, refusing to meet your eyes. He withdrawn himself away from you, tucking his normally large body into the corner of the sofa, his fingers tugging at the hand-casted gold ring, “I..I was never good enough to deserve you.”

“Whoa. Um. Where exactly is this coming from? Who the fuck told you something like this?” Your eyes narrow dangerously. Agni wouldn’t just break down like this. You’ve been married for two years to him, and the news has only broken six-months ago. You’ve made sure to silence the press so that Agni can transition smoothly - apparently you fucked up somewhere along the line.

“What? No. I mean it. I’m serious. Between you and me. I’m nothing. I’m not even as great as Pepper Potts, and she’s Iron Man girlfriend.” He rambles on, his face still streaks with tears, “I’m just a teacher for a bunch of little kids who’re lucky enough to be born into wealthy families. They’re the best kids. I just.. I don’t know. Im not a professor for a prestigious college like Sebastian. I’m not the heir to a title like the Phantomhives twin. I’m not brilliant in any way comparable to Sieglinde. I’m..im..nothing.”

You stares at him. Wordless after hearing the words that came out of his mouth. A strange rage that you haven’t felt in a long time bubbles up inside your gut.

You haven’t felt rage in a long time because you have him.

A familiar desire to kill something uncoils itself from years in hibernation. You haven’t desire to kill in so long because he was next to you.

All that was bad and evil and rotten within your are locked away because he is the sun of your life.

The light of your days. The guidance in your path. The reason you haven’t drank yourself to death or overdosed on some concoction of drugs.

And here he is.

The most beautiful and perfect existence in this damn planet. Saying all these bullshit about himself. The audacity to believe his own words.

Someone will pay for this. You seethes. “Who? Tell me who.” You calmly asks as you yank him towards you for a tight hug. You’re stronger than he is after all.

“No one. But it’s true, isn’t it. You know that it’s true.” He hiccups, resisting your hug. You can feel the heat from his baseless shame radiating.

“All right. Don’t tell me.” You clicks your tongue.

“Tanaka! Show me all of recent Tweeter, Facebook, Instagram, and others relates to Agni in anyway.” You yells into thin air, moments later, the house AI, Tanaka, responded with all of what Agni has been trying to hide from you.

“Why? What?! No! No please. Stop it! Tanaka stop!.” Agni’s head perks up, frantically waving for the AI to shut up to no avail.

You skim through the flashing holograms, your blood boils at the comments, and tweets, and re-tweets and all the shits you’ve always been too busy to care about.

If these had been directed at you, you couldn’t give less of a shit. But no, they target the only thing, the only person you hold dear above all else. This calls for war.

And you’re very good at war.

Agni sees that flash of cruelty in you, the one where you beat a man twice his size to death because that man dared to kidnapped him. The one where you casually placed a bullet in the head of a former dictator in front of her rogue son. There’s a darkness in you. So dark and cold and cruel that he can’t believe he’d forgotten it still exists.

He begs you to reconsider, and try his best to muffle the black fire he can see is growing. The way your eyes darken. The way your nostrils flares. It terrifies him.

And so he begs you to calm down. To not let your anger gets to you. Try as you might, your sole vulnerability remains to be his puppy-dog sparkling eyes.

So tou calm down. You tell him him that it’s ok, you won’t do anything. If it’s all right, you’ll just block all of these nasty comments from his social media’s. Better yet, you suggest that he go on a “detox”. No more social media for him, none whatsoever. For a whole month until this all dies down.

Agni agrees feverishly. He apologizes for making you worry - something which still slightly pissed you off when he apologize for anything. You carried him to bed, he blushes, you made gentle love to him.

And when your beautiful Sun is fast asleep with his silky white hair resting on your top-grade silk pillowcase and his beautiful body cozied under your thick Turkish fiber blanket. You kisses his him gently and leave the room.

And you wage war.

You tracked down every single IP address of every single nasty commenters and tweeters and posts and retweets to their live owner. You made a list.

You commandeer their bank account, their stocks, their saving, their livelihood. Everything that are of value to them.

And you burned it all.

Temporarily of course. Agni would be devastated if he ever finds out what you’ve done.

You decided to let these fuckers suffer for a whole week, maybe a little more the worst of offender.

When you’re satisfied with all your doing, you return to your bedroom, where the light of your existence remains fast asleep.

He has the cutest snore

You smile as you snuggle next to him.

#revenge tw #Black Butler #Kuroshitsuji #Agni #fic #reader insert #submission #follower writings #angst #hurt/comfort #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA SWEET BOY #GO BADASS READER

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seedofcreativity · 7 years

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thougts about zutara/kaatang and characters in general (stop this fucking shipwar please)

so im sitting there and scrolling through atla tag and there's like a shit ton of posts about how zutara/kaatang is bad, character regression, blah blah shit goes on and i just want to make some points considering things poeple've been writing about the development of these ships, about characters and stuff, no hatin', just a humble opinion from a humble blogger - srl kaatang had really big development that wasn't just "oh my poor baby brother" thing katara was always there for aang, we could see that she was concerned about him more than about the other charas from gaang, there were a lot of hugs, mutual understanding, sometimes chemistry, and during important moments in a plot she was intrested in him - bUT HOHOHOO that doesn't mean that zutara is completely out of mind because it's a pretty good piece of shmexy ship right there strong character of zuko and his big development goes along with katara's change and her maturing during a series also they are pretty much in a vey difficult time of their lives and they find comfort in each others presence - also, zuko has a really complex personality, he's a teenager with problems and it gives impression how incredible the relationship between him and katara would be, considering her intresting traits as well - i think that's the problem with kaatang mostly and why so many people disagree with writer's choice about hooking them up, because aang, even as a main chara haven't had a chance to completely change himself because i think he didn't need to he IS a child at the beginning of the series and he still IS a child after the ending of it, but with more experience yet it doesn't change the fact that he was the wiseset of all of gaang, he had his peaceful nature, his vegeterianism, his restraint from fight, his cheerful nature and many other things that made him a beautiful person on the other hand zuko had like a fucking character rollercoaster and we could see how profound his personality was and how he could change and show his true nature aang did not had this chance to reedem himself, because he didn't have to, that's why his pure and innocent feelings for katara are considered by the fanbase as immature or idk not strong enough - and maybe that's why katara is with aang and not with zuko because it wasn't about changing and maturing but endorsing these pure feelings aang had for her from the beginning and showing that his personality was worth something even without these major changes and because she was the only person who would encourage him to express his nature, his goodness and sincere need to help the others because she wasn't mocking him or trying to change him but she was just there always when he'd need her and he was also protecting her from any harm and even as a child he could impress her with his wiseness and with his right choices - yet zutara is a beautiful thing because we can see how their relation exposes a whole new level of personalities we can see that katara can struggle and have doubts and be not as nice as she seems we can see zuko that can sacrifice his good opinion among the other gaang members just to help her get revenge their relation is rocky but at the end of the day they seem to get along with each other - also zuko is older than aang and he can really prove himself, how dedicated he can be, how his will of not giving up is powerful and that is a really good start of a zutara love story, because we see a big development of two incredible characters - aang didn't had to prove anything because he was dedicated to katara since the beginning and that's also a good thing and she finally grew up to the idea she can be with him - it's like zutara would be a really great pair if they were really meant for each other but there wasn't enough development between them, their bonding and stuff were purely platonic but since their relationship is so ambivalent at times we can see it as a pretty realistic representation of a mature relationship that could've happen in a real life their feelings are like a mountain you need to climb on, sometimes you''ll slip, sometimes you'll climb faster, but still, in the end, you'll be so satisfied after you reach the end - with kaatang the problem is, that their relation is like a flow of a river, it's so soothing and at the same time kind of boring, because we do not see many obstacles on the way they had plenty time to develop their relation, there wasn't and major problems with that aside some of aang's overthinking and it had completely different base than the zutara zutara is more about finding love in understanding each other through problems and obstacles, about forgivness and giving second chances and kaatang is about finding love in living in each other's presence, in exsisting next to each other and working together to achieve something great, without sadness or despair (ok there were moments but mostly it was fluff ok) - and both of these ships show different values, one shows that perfection doesn't exist and the other one proves that yes, it exist but you need to work very hard and long to achieve it and probably it won't last for a long time -so pls stop hating each other (i was born as kaatang shipper but i fucking adore zutara and there could be so much said about them but im a bitch for this pureness of aang's) - we can find something incredible and astounding in both of these relations and we should express it by apprecieating it, not by calling people fags because they ship something you don't like we can apprecieate how aang could experience his first love and express it in a childlish but cute way how zuko could show that katara is only a human but has a big heart how katara could show that she really cares how aang could be himself in the presence of katara and how katara could be relaxed and happy in the presence of aang how katara have shown how zuko and aang were dedicated to their goals how zutara is a great ship with interesting possibilites, different levels of mutual understanding and rough connection (in a good sense) how kaatang is showing pureness, careness and deep, slowly built-up affection, but at the same time is mature, because it shows that every little thing can matter so yeah that's it idk i wanted to write some of my thoughs, it's messy and i can't speak english and it's late at night (and also about "love" jokes in atla, their fucking jokes, this show isn't about love jesus and this deep analysis of the prophecy of an old lady and freaking out when toph mocks other ppl by making fun of love is just ridiculous like, they're fucking jokes, it's a show for children) bye love u

#atla #avatar #the last airbender #zutara #kaatang #katara #zuko #aang #shipping #pls end war

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