#and make it yourself instead

[cruelsister-moved2]

for real! (from kadji amin)

[Image description: Screenshot of text:

What I've realized is that I believe that the matter of gender is practical and relational. It's not about who you are inside, it's more about how you would feel most comfortable in the world. It's not 'Who are you?' but 'How do you want to live?'

Had that been the discourse when I was coming up, I would have breathed a sigh of relief. I don't have to figure out who I am on the inside, I just have to figure out how I want to live.

end of ID]

[inkskinned]

you were raised in comparison.

it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.

you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.

you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.

what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.

it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.

you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.

you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?

a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.

you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.

it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.

something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.

[pocketgalaxies]

C1E60 || C3E88

[fiskael]

Made my very own tiny dungeon meshi dragon plush, that’s based on the version that only appears in the very last chapter for five pages and then is never seen again. I think it turned out pretty well.

I used this pattern to make it with some minor tweaks to the body, tails and legs and then just made some tiny cones for the horns at the end. If anyone would be intersted I might post the alterations and where to apply them but go check out the original pattern! I stuffed it both with acylic stuffing but also some plastic pellets for a bit of extra weight. The eyes are done with french knots.

Going to be adding manga spoilers below the read more with pictures of what I tried to get it to look like.

[actual-changeling]

hot take but the reason why beez and gabriel figured their shit out so quickly is because they both have a solid sense of who they are as a person and the relationships adds to that instead of threatening their sense of identity.

if, for some reason, they had landed on "yeah no we won't work" they would have been sad/disappointed/heartbroken, but ultimately beez is happy with who they are and so is gabriel. nina and maggie decided to NOT get into a relationship for the same reason, they respect themselves and each other enough to put personal growth and their mental health first instead of attempting to solve trauma responses and hypervigilance by making someone the turning point of their world.

aziraphale and crowley, on the other hand, aren't just dogshit at communicating, they have also build their sense of identity around each other and thus the thought of not being together automatically comes with a loss of personhood, trapping them in "i need them to live and will be destroyed if they're not with me". which is incredibly self-destructive and deeply unhealthy, and not a foundation for a functional relationship.

the solution to that is not to glue them together and call it a day, it's to allow both of them the space and grace to grow as individuals and develop a healthy sense of self so the relationship is build on mutual respect AND self respect.

[clearancecreedwatersurvival]

People on this website really trying to downplay the specific role of destiel in the events of November 5th 2020 ‘it could have been any other ship that went canon at that time and had the same effect’ no.

Nothing else is destiel.

Nothing else is 12 years and hundreds of episodes of extremely obvious and deliberate queerbaiting that was Vehemently denied by the production team. Nothing else is the ship about characters whose larger overarching plot is literally fighting against their own pre-determined narrative to attain free will. Nothing else proved in the 11th hour Just before the show ended that the meta narrative and queer reading by fans who insisted there was something there and who were constantly called crazy by the production and by other fans and by the rest of the internet were RIGHT.

The CW did market research! About whether to make it canon! In a show they always pretended was aimed primarily at middle (conservative) America!!!

The queer subtext was so Fucking Strong by the end of the show, because the writers constantly wrote themselves into corners that could Only be explained away by destiel, that they HAD to admit defeat and canonize it.

And THEN even after they made it canon, they denied it some more and tried to downplay it! But it happened! The angel is fucking gay!!!!

Destiel is THE great American queerbait and had been a staple of the culture of this site for over a decade before November 5 2020. There is a REASON it is the most popular ship on AO3. ‘The same thing would have happened if johnlock became canon or spirk or whatever else’ no it simply would not have because crucially CRUCIALLY those ships Never Became Canon! The fact that Destiel of all the popular queerbait slash ships of the past few decades somehow at long last DID, and in a way that Still refused to just let the shippers have it and allow any implication of full reciprocation and that the final two episodes and the entire cast absolutely refused to acknowledge in any way, is why the canonization of destiel is one of the wildest things to happen to fandom culture as a whole in recent memory, and you cannot theoretically remove the destiel of it all and have it be the same kind of event.

The reason november 5 happened like it did, why people started making jokes at all, is because the fandom cultural juggernaut that is destiel becoming canon is the only thing that could have possibly managed to trend above the U.S. election. BECAUSE it’s destiel.

[redlenai]

Come with me, brothers, sisters and siblings. Let's go pirate Sims 2 and download 4t2 Custom Content. Support modders and CC creators and listen to Hot N' Cold

[starry-bi-sky]

I'm having incoherent thoughts about clone danny again from the clone/clone^2 au (when am I not?) but more specifically I'm thinking about his reaction to finding out he's a clone. The standalone clone au digs into that a little more than clone^2, which is more focused on Danny and Damian's relationship. But neither (so far) really get into Danny's issues about finding out he's a clone after 15 years of thinking he wasn't.

Because he resents his parents for not telling him for so long. He resents the way he found out; through a trivial school project rather than a sit-down talk. He resents the fact that, apparently, they had meant to tell him sooner. But forgot. He resents the fact that they never told him because finding out feels like something was stolen from him when it had the chance to not be.

Danny Fenton, just fifteen, cloned not even half a year ago, knows what that personal violation of autonomy feels like. He knows what it's like to be cloned and while he loves Ellie, he does, she's his sister, and in this au his twin. But he is still left with that feeling of unsafety after realizing he'd been cloned. Being cloned is violating. The onset realization that it's so easy to get DNA without the other party noticing, and that what was stopping someone from trying to clone him again?

Followed only after with the rest of the inexplainable mix of feelings of being cloned, the rest of that inner conflict and panic that's an ugly mocktail of emotions that range from horror to fear. Trying to imagine what it's like to be cloned from the cloned party, and I imagine that it leaves you with the feeling of needing to crawl out of your own skin with discomfort.

And then he gets put on the other side of it. Danny Fenton, only fifteen, was cloned not even half a year ago, finding out he is a clone. And reactions, I imagine, can vary from person to person. But to him, it feels like something got stolen from him, like someone took a hole puncher and stuck it right into his chest and stole a chunk of himself from him.

It changes nothing about him and yet it changes everything. It's a betrayal on it's own to just find out he was a clone and they didn't tell him for fifteen years -- it shouldn't mean anything, because he's still Danny, and yet it means everything. It's him, it's him, it's about him. It's his personhood. It's about the fact that a load-bearing rock in his identity just crumbled beneath his feet and now there's a rockslide.

Because then he finds out that they used the wrong DNA. Its like pouring salt in an open wound. He's not even related to his parents or his sister, when for years he thought he was. It's the fact that pieces of his identity that he's been so secure in for so long just got ripped away from him in an instant. Then they tell him -- only through his own horrified prompting -- that the person whose DNA they used -- Bruce Wayne -- didn't even know he existed. That they accidentally used the wrong DNA, then didn't tell the person whose DNA they used.

The betrayal of being lied to for years turns really quickly into horror at his own existence. Something very similar to the horror he felt at being cloned and the skin-crawling discomfort that made him feel like his own skin wasn't really his. And then its not. It's actually not. Nothing but his own name feels like it belongs to him anymore -- not his hair, not his eyes, not his heart or his lungs, nothing feels like his anymore and he didn't know what that felt like until it was gone.

It's a question of Nature Vs. Nurture -- where does the line of "nature" begin and where does the line of "nurture" end? What of him is actually his? What of him is Bruce Wayne's? It's not logical, it's not supposed to be. It's a load-bearing wall on the house of his identity being destroyed and now everything else is caving down in on him. What belongs to Danny, what belongs to Bruce Wayne?

[an-albino-pinetree]

I feel weird putting vent art on here, but this one is positive, and maybe it’ll help someone else who’s feeling the same, and wants the same reassurance. 💜

[dragongirltongue]

I'm also just gonna say, threatening a minority with law enforcement is a bigger fucking threat of violence than whatever hammer explosion cartoon bullshit in a tiny ass vent post could ever be.

As someone who's had cops breathing down my neck fucking waiting for an excuse to hurt me on multiple occassions, it's fucking violence.

[edwardsvirtue]

wow edward sure was being overly dramatic and impulsive when he decided to go to volterra in new moon haha. I mean, it's kind of irrational to decide to kill yourself just because someone you loved died, isn't it? seems like he really should have thought that one through before pulling a romeo. what a drama queen hahahaha

unless, of course, edward had already been passively suicidal for decades and hearing the news of bella's death was just a good enough excuse that he finally decided to go through with it, idk 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

[serialunaliver]

me stepping out of the feminism conversation once I relate a little too much to the self centered behavior being criticized in misogynists

[goldengirlgalaxy]

You know how there's a whole thing about how DC superheroes die and get brought back a lot? Well, for DPxDC, how about this?

Every time a Justice League member gets resurrected, their ghost remains in the Ghost Zone.

So you'll have a member of the Justice League bite the bullet for whatever reason, they'll form as a ghost in the Ghost Zone. They'll make themselves comfortable, maybe they'll even becoming defenders of peaceful ghosts who have no experience fighting or no desire to fight. Maybe they'll find dead family members and re-establish their bonds. Maybe they'll find other dead members of the Justice League and make and undead branch of the Justice League. Maybe they'll meet Danny and either help teach him how to be a hero (if he's still young) or become a hero group supported by him (if he becomes the king).

And then, for whatever reason, someone found the magical amulet that can revive a person, they somehow developed 1-Ups for a limited time, the revival machine finally got a tune up, the hero gets revived. But the ghost doesn't leave the Ghost Zone. Because of this, the revived hero doesn't have any memories of their time in the afterlife. The ghost probably doesn't even notice something changed and that their old body is up and running again.

This all ends up coming to a head when the GIW decide to push the manhunt for Danny Phantom and all other ghosts, lying to the Justice League in order to convince them to help. They eventually decide to hunt down Danny and corner him, ready to capture him...

… And suddenly he's saved by a bunch of ghosts that look identical to them.

[wispforever]

exalt

[maledistributionsystem]

Your personhood is not evidence of an irreparable and damning perversion of some sort.

You are not dangerous for having sexual desire, you are not dangerous for remolding your body, you are not dangerous for understanding who you are and how to be happier.

You're amazing, you're brave, you're being reborn but you're still the same, you the boss of your own body in ways our ancestors thought only gods could achieve.

And you deserve peace. Go relax, man.

[wild-at-mind]

I would honestly call the left's inability to accomodate people with morality-based OCD compulsions an accessibility issue at this point.