#and may or may not leave any for taek

[marisramblings]

Yes, The Kims are the Bad Guys: A Review of Parasite

(This is click-bait, please read my review)

Quick thoughts:

The cinematography is absolutely gorgeous. There many stylistic choices that add to the overall atmosphere. The flooding scene with Ki-woo watching the water rush over his shoes. The water filling up their home as we watch the couple trapped in the bunker desperately trying to survive. The silence as Ki-taek realizes that he stabbed Dong-ik.

The movie is beautiful to watch and there are little touches here and there that make the experience even more enjoyable.

South Korea’s Culture:

I’m not South Korean, so there is a lot of cultural context I don’t have. There may be some critiques that come from this ignorance, so I would love to have an explanation. I think I caught most of it, but I know I’m missing information.

Why the Kims are actually bad people

I’m not starting with what they did to the Parks, but instead with Moon-gwang, her husband, and the driver. These people were also working class and had their lives completely upended due to the Kims. What I like about this, is that the Kims do feel some guilt but try to ignore it. It’s realistic and gives depth to our “parasites.” Purposefully aggravating someone’s allergies can be life-threatening. Planting the idea that someone’s driver may have assaulted someone is horrific. They manner in which these people were let go, may well affect their chances at finding other employment. Would you give a recommendation to a housekeeper you think is negligently spreading a serious disease or a driver that may fuck in your vehicles?

Ki-woo starting a romantic relationship with a high school sophomore is absolutely sickening. Min implying that he did the same? Also sickening. No one reacting properly to this? Makes me wonder if this is a common issue in South Korea. Not to mention, he attempted to murder the couple they trapped downstairs. Good on the husband for hitting Ki-woo. I also disliked Ki-jung manipulating a child’s trauma. She’s a cold one, for the most part.

Returning to Moon-gwang and her husband, I have to give the Kims some grace here. Their meeting and confrontation was an incredibly tense scene. Imagine finding out the previous housekeeper kept her husband in a secret bunk. Chung-sook could’ve accepted her deal, but chose to threaten her. A bucket of crabs situation, if you will. I love the parallels from this portion. They discover people doing what they’re doing and quickly work to secure their positions. The Kims attacked these people, attempted to cause anaphylaxis, and kicked Moon-gwang downstairs. Ki-taek finds blood on this unconscious woman and leaves her alone. Also, ties her up and locks them inside.

Why the Kims’ actions are understandable i.e. why they are great characters

The Kims depict the reality of poverty in SK. I assume it’s hard to get jobs unless you go to college. There’s a line about 500 graduates fighting over a security job. I think that paints a clear picture of how competitive the job market is. Ki-woo couldn’t pass what I assume were difficult entrance exams. Ki-jung has amazing talent with editing but probably can’t get a job for the same reasons. This family is barely scraping by. I have no qualms about lying about qualifications to get a job. Use that connection and make some coin.

The flooding scene and its aftermath are fucking amazing. Seeing them run in the rain just to find their only home covered in sewer water. Their few meager possessions are wrecked and they spend the night in the shelter. I think it’s a nice contrast to the warm and cushy night they were originally having. They’re living a fantasy and reality will fuck you over at any point in time.

I understand why Ki-taek lost it and stabbed Mr. Park. I don’t think the Kims are irredeemable monsters and Ki-taek crying over the man he killed shows that. They’re people living with shit circumstances trying to survive. They’re “bad people” in this movie, but they aren’t the bad guys.

No, the Parks aren’t bad guys, they aren’t good, but they aren’t bad.

I honestly want to delve into the minds of the people who think there are “good guys” and“bad guys” in this film. Where do they get this conclusion? The movie did not strike me as anti rich nor did it strike me as painting the Parks as these sweet, innocent protagonists.

The Parks seem like the average upper-class family. What surprised me was how often Mr. Park was home. I thought he would be more absent but he is involved with his family, minus his daughter.

Ahh, Da-hye. I assume SK also has this thing where sons are favored over daughters. She’s clearly looking for attention through her “trysts” with her tutors. I hesitate to fault the parents for not noticing her being groomed by two men because that shifts blame away from this fucking pieces of shit. She’s neglected and overlooked but because her base needs are met, the pain she’s going through is ignored.

I avoided parasite twitter to not see spoilers, but I saw the “hysteria” around Ram-don. Is sirloin expensive in SK? Could it be that the kind of steak doesn’t translate well in English? I get what it’s supposed to symbolize, but I can’t draw up too much rage at adding $10 steak to ramen.

The Park family crime is ignorance. They are shielded from the dark realities of the world by their money. When Ki-taek drives Mrs. Park around to prepare for the party, the stark reality of how different their experiences are is heartbreaking. The Parks don’t know what happened, the rain was just a nice bookend to the night. They don’t think about what a torrential rain can do to those that literally live below them. It’s like a snow day. Part of me is happy because I love the sight of snow and it often meant no school, but I think about the homeless people who are stuck outside in freezing temperatures. I can’t fault the Parks, but I understand Ki-taek’s frustration.

Class struggle(s)

Our three families represent the complexities of social classes and their struggles. Choong-sook said it best, the rich can afford to be nice because they have money. The Kims aren’t nice, but that’s the point. Their lives suck. When you’re siphoning wifi, folding pizza boxes, and watching drunkards piss outside your window, you’re not going to be super generous. We see that when they fight with Moon-gwang and her husband.

Moon-gwang and Guen-se are in similar circumstances, arguably worse since he has to hide from loan sharks. (I have questions around SK’s banking system. Loan sharks act like mafia and the Parks are paying their staff in cash and not via bank account). The Kims think they’re on the lowest rung and here are people even lower. Choong-sook tries to have them arrested to keep this newfound life of theirs. It’s selfish, they’re only focused on benefitting themselves. Still, the next day most of the Kims try to aid them. Too late, admittedly.

It says a lot that the Mr. and Mrs. Park expect Ki-taek to let “Jessica” and their other staff die to focus on saving their son. On one hand, I understand that the Parks were focused on saving their kid, like any decent parents, and that they didn’t know their staff was related. On the other hand, maybe have a little more concern for the people being attacked? I can’t fault Ki-taek for wanting to save his child too. Like I stated previously, the Parks, and by proxy the rich, struggle from ignorance. I’m not saying there aren’t rich people who actively revel in ruining others lives for their benefit, but some are just living. Am I really going to fault Mr. Park for living a comfortable life? No.

I like the imagery of the lower class characters having their issues downstairs. The Kims live below street level. Moon-gwang and Guen-se live in a bunker. They are situated even lower than the Kims. The Parks live uphill and upstairs, safely tucked away from the brutal realities of the world.

So what’s the point?

I’m not an economist, capitalist, communist, socialist, anarchist, etc because these theories hurt my brain. Money is fucking fake and people die due to greed.

This movie is sad. I felt for all the families in this movie. There are no good guys or bad guys, just people. People trying to live their lives. For me, this is the point. The Parks aren’t going to solve poverty. Ki-woo probably won’t get the money to free his dad. Moon-gwang and her husband are dead.

This movie critiques everyone. If the Kims had worked with Moon-gwang, they’d (might) still be living a cushy life. Mr. Park and Ki-jung wouldn’t be dead. Hell, they might’ve even gone home in time to close their window and hold down the toilet. The Parks' ignorance led to them getting conned and acquiring squatters. These are individuals in a fucked up system that propagates their mentalities.

Yes, I know this film is anti capitalist. I just hate economics.

Rating:

7.5/10

I wish the pacing was a little quicker since a good chunk of the movie is just the Kims getting their jobs. Besides that, I liked parasite. Great movie.

[wille-zarr]

The Mandalorian: “We Have a Deal”

In Fields of White ~ Chapter One ~ “We Have a Deal”

masterlist / next chapter

pairing: din djarin (the mandalorian) x f!reader

warnings: rated T for violence; reference to mild injuries; death; mild swearing; mentions of hunger

word count: 4.1k

summary: fleeing from the life you wish more than anything to forget, you are left to navigate the galaxy alone as a wide-eyed wanderer. in the process of evading the dangers linked to your previous life, your destiny is forever altered when you cross paths with an intimidating mandalorian and his unusually gifted child.

a/n: first, i must thank my amazing beta readers @sana-katarn @disneyjedi19 @barrissoffee77 for their fantastic feedback and for cheering me on throughout this whole process. secondly, i must thank @kaminobiwan @royalhandmaidens @fancycheesebread @arda-ancalima @babyomen  @highlycommendable​ for their kind comments and enthusiasm towards this story. i can’t thank you all enough. i can’t even put into words just how much it means to me. i love you all very much, and i am so excited to begin the adventure that is in fields of white. 

also found on: Ao3

In Fields of White

Chapter One: “We Have a Deal”

Reflecting upon the events of your life, you decide you must be either the luckiest or most cursed person in the galaxy.

Current events have you leaning towards the latter.

With a frustrated grunt, you squint your eyes against the dust billowing down the street. Reaching up to your hat, you lower a pair of goggles to rest securely around your eyes. You mutter curses when you feel sand rattling around in the lenses, trapped inside by the whipping wind. 

You slightly lift the scarf pressed against your mouth and spit, ridding your mouth of the dust turning to mud. At this point, six weeks into your miserable residence on the tiny planet of Taek, you must have consumed enough dust and dirt to birth a new desert planet.

Grumbling complaints to yourself, you tighten the scarf around your face as you stalk down the street, avoiding eye contact with anyone or anything for too long. You learned that lesson the first week on Taek after a tussle with a Twi’lek. 

In your defense, you were only trying to be friendly, but, apparently, Taek didn’t have much in the way of locals, only smugglers and pirates looking for a quick refuel and refresh. Prolonged eye contact and a friendly “hello” with those kinds sometimes didn’t end too terribly well. The fading bite mark on your arm proved as much.

Hoping to rid yourself of the dust that seemed to penetrate everything this dirtball had to offer, you slip in between two buildings, allowing yourself a reprieve from the sandstorm whipping down the street. You loosen your scarf, shaking your head as sand pours from it like a waterfall.

“Damn it,” you grumble. “I shouldn’t be hungry after all the sand I’ve swallowed.” You spit more dirt out of your mouth as if to prove your point. 

Satisfied that you’ve ridded yourself of as much dirt as possibly achievable on a planet full of dirt, you turn your attention back towards assessing Taek’s current batch of inhabitants. 

Taek’s only starport held a different crowd of creatures every couple of days. Outside of the few storekeepers, cantina-owners, and brothels, you are convinced Taek holds no permanent residents. 

You cross your arms and lean against the corner of the building. “One mean-looking squid-man,” you mumble under your breath as you take tally. “A Twi’lek, looks like a smuggler…. Rodian...”

A bright flash of light from down the street pulls your eyes in that direction. Letting your arms fall to the side, you squint, making out an armored figure striding down the street, reflecting bright sunlight even through the dust caking the air.

A Mandalorian.

With a sharp inhale of breath, you jerk backwards into the alley. “No, no, no!” you hiss to yourself. 

You’d seen and avoided other bounty hunters on Taek, but this was a Mandalorian bounty hunter. 

You’d heard stories about Mandalorian hunters. 

If he was looking for you…

Your stomach tightens with more than just hunger.

Stars.

You are dead.

Forcing your breath to even itself out, you scold yourself for the unreasonable panic. 

“It’s going to be okay; I’m safe,” you mentally repeat your well-worn mantra. You pause, scowling.

A new mantra might be in order at this point in your life.

You peer back around the corner of the building, torn between wanting to observe the actions of the Mandalorian or bolting as far away as possible. With a deep breath, you choose the former, and also possibly the dumbest, option. Releasing an anxious sigh, you lower the goggles onto your face and tighten the scarf back across your mouth.

You move forward, mingling with the faces of others who, like you, wish to escape a named existence. You push against the crowds of people, eyes sweeping back and forth for any sign of the sun-reflecting armor. 

Panic slowly begins to creep back in when, after several minutes of searching, you can find no sign of the Mandalorian. 

A sinking feeling grows in your stomach that, in this game of tooka-cat and nuna, you might just be the nuna after all.

After an eternity swimming through a faceless crowd, your eyes latch onto gleaming metal again. You grin underneath your scarf, and your grin only widens when you see the cantina he chooses to go inside. 

The Tiny Whomp Rat Cantina is one of the few establishments where you have managed to make connections with a few of the bartenders. When you are having an unusually lucky day, one of the friendlier bartenders would provide some extra work for credits or a bit of extra food.

You position yourself across the street, hoping you looked as ordinary as whatever’s considered ordinary on Taek. You shake your head with a groan. Inhaling dust all day and the lack of food is beginning to mess with your head. You suppose that might explain why you are currently stalking a Mandalorian instead of getting the hell out of sight. 

You let your legs give way as you slowly sink down to the ground, leaning against the wall of a building for support. You feel and look pathetic- the perfect disguise.

Frustration presses in your chest after an hour passes with no sign of the Mandalorian leaving the cantina. At this point, you’ve called the Mandalorian every curse word under the sun, and even invented a few new ones for him. To top it off, dusk is falling, and it is beginning to grow chilly, only flaming your irritability further.

Stupid tin-head. 

Son of a Hutt. 

Shavit brain. 

Kriffin metal man.

Damn it! You are too impulsive and impatient for this. You grumble new complaints under your breath as you rip your scarf down and roughly rub your face. If the hunter is searching for you, he isn’t doing a very good job so far.

Oh, what the hell.

You’re going inside.

You stand, pausing a moment to let the blood rush back into your legs. You hesitate only a split second before stalking across the street and creeping through the cantina doors.

You can hear your grandfather’s voice now.

“Child, did you think at all before you chose to act?”

“Yes, actually, I did this time. But probably for not long enough."

Your grandfather is still spitting truths at you even in death.

Shuffling forward, you crinkle your nose at the wall of smell that smacks you in the face as you move inside. You hate this place. It smells like a rotting Hutt eating a decomposing Kowakian monkey-lizard whilst basking in the swamp gasses of Nal Hutta. 

Not that you probably smell any better at this point, but still. 

The only thing you are grateful for is the fact that the lack of light inside the dingy cantina provided excellent concealment.

Daring not to glance around too much and draw attention to yourself, you stalk straight towards the bar, very grateful to see it’s your friend, a grey-haired elderly man named Irea, working this evening. He looks up and actually smiles at you. It took three weeks to get that smile out of him, and so you return it eagerly. His is the only smile you’ve seen in weeks.

“Hey, kid.” He picks up a glass and begins drying it with a stained rag. “I’m afraid I don’t have any work for you today.” He sighs. “The boss is cracking down, and I-”

“It’s okay,” you interrupt with a raised hand. You slip into a bar stool and lean forward, eyes darting around. You don’t see the Mandalorian anywhere. 

You lower your eyes, clenching your hands tightly together on the bar in front of you. “I haven’t come here about that.”

Irea tucks his rag into his back pocket and places a hand on the bar beside you, leaning forward with his body, blocking your conversation from the prying eyes of customers. 

“What’s wrong, kid?”

You bite your lip. “Nothing… I mean, I-” You pause and take a shaky breath. Your eyes lift up to meet his own. “I need to ask you about one of your customers.” Your voice drops so low that even you struggled to hear what you had to say. You dart your eyes around again, still not spying the Mandalorian anywhere. You can’t help but fear at any given moment he will jump at you from behind.

“Oh?” the old bartender prods.

You tense, scared to even breath the words. “The Mandalorian. He came in here, right?”

Irea nods slowly. “He’s in one of the back booths,” he whispers, tilting his head towards the rear of the cantina.

You can’t see the back booths from your current vantage point, but your teeth clench knowing you are in such close proximity to the Mandalorian. Too close. You instinctively pull your hat down to sit lower on your face.

“What is he doing here?” you hiss. “Do you know?”

Irea’s eyes shoot around the room. Once he is satisfied there is no one close enough to eavesdrop, he continues, “He’s talking with some strangers I’ve not seen before.” A mischievous expression inches across his face. “But I may have overheard a bit of their conversation, accidentally, mind you.” He points a finger at you with a wink.

You flash him a bright grin. “Of course, of course. Accidentally.”

The old bartender motions for you to move closer towards the wall, so you slip off the barstool and move along with him. He leans in closer to your face. “The Mandalorian is trying to discover the location of Marek’s basecamp.”

You suck air through your teeth with a sharp hiss. “No way.” You shake your head. “Good luck finding that out from anyone.”

He chuckles. “I’m certainly not going to tell him.”

You laugh along with him. “Me neither. Stars!”

Another lesson you learned about this region within the first week of your stay: it’s probably a good idea to avoid associating with Marek and his smuggling ring cronies. 

Of course, you learned this after you had already “visited” said basecamp. What can you say? You have a knack for learning lessons the hard way.

But, thank the Maker, the Mandalorian is not searching for you. You feel the tension drain from your shoulders as this realization sinks in.

“Stars, if I had any money, I’d buy a drink right about now,” you chuckle dryly, tucking your chin underneath the ragged scarf draped around your neck. Irea’s eyes soften, and he pats you knowingly on the shoulder.

You smile up at him and crinkle your nose. “Well, thanks anyway,” you sigh, shifting to stand up.

A heavy thud of metal launches you back into your seat.

Oh hell! 

Hell! 

Kriffin’ hell!

All the air shoots from your lungs as you stupidly gawk up at the Mandalorian. He leans against the bar, mere feet away from you.

“For my tab,” the Mandalorian rasps through his helmet’s vocoder, sliding credits towards the old bartender. The Mandalorian pulls away, not sparing one glance at you before sweeping out of the cantina.

 You clasp your hands over your eyes, letting out a sharp breath.

“Stars,” you mumble. All of that stress and worry, and the Mandalorian hadn’t even looked at you. If you weren’t so relieved, you might would feel insulted.

Irea chuckles. “It’s getting late, kid.”

You nod your head, understanding the meaning behind his careful words. After dark, the streets of Taek were not a place not fit for those wishing to avoid trouble. 

And seeing as how you possess no weapon, you care very much to avoid the night. You move to stand up again when Irea discretely slides a small package under your hand.

“It’s all I can spare without the owner noticing,” he hisses. “You didn’t get it from me.” He spins on his heel, turning his attention back to drying dishes. 

Tears burn in the corner of your eyes, and you squeeze the bag of scraps to your thigh.

You are too kind for this place.

-------

You make your way down the street, grateful that the air has finally cleared itself of the rolling dust clouds. It’s uplifting to walk and breath in clear air, something you never thought you’d take for granted. A wave of stench hits your nostrils from the direction of a junkpile, and you almost gag.

Well, it’s mostly clear air, anyway.

As you continue on your way back to your home camp, you stop by a few of the mechanic shops to ask if they have any work available. You are met with the usual: no work. Taek is pretty small, and the local staff of mechanics keep things taken care of, leaving little work to freelancers like yourself. 

Which is probably for the best.

You make a terrible mechanic.

Ignoring your mounting frustration towards life, you make sure to stop and search a few garbage dumpsters located behind some cantinas for anything you can hoard. 

Again, no luck. 

The food Irea slipped you will have to do for now.

You are so tired of this.

You numbly weave your way through the dark labyrinth of alleys, stars already beginning to twinkle in the sky, instinctively following the path you have traversed every morning and evening for the past six weeks. 

As you near the spot where you’ve been sleeping at night, you blood rushes ice cold at a distressed, high-pitched scream echoing from one of the nearby alleys.

You cringe, cover your ears, and keep walking. 

You know you have to keep moving; ignore everything you might hear. No one investigated screams at night on Taek. Not unless they were heavily armed and ready to throw down, which you most certainly aren’t. But after another shrill cry rises in the air, your twisting heart won’t allow your feet to keep moving away.

You let out a groan and follow the length of an alleyway before the voices are just around the corner. You cautiously move forward, crouching behind a crate. You peer above it, grimacing when you spy two Zabrak women pressed against the wall of a building. You recognize them from one of the merchant stores in town. They are rapidly speaking in their native language, cowering in terror. You do not recognize the two males, one Rodian and the other a species you had no name for. 

But he was tall, really tall.

This... probably won't end well.

The Rodian’s hand shoots out and grabs one of the Zabrak’s arms, sending her into screaming hysterics.

“Wait!” you shriek, jumping up from behind the crate more as an involuntary reaction to the Zabrak’s screams than a conscious decision. “Stop!”

The Rodian actually drops the Zabrak’s arm, in complete shock at your sudden appearance. He and his partner take a few steps towards you, speaking a language you have no name for. 

But their body language didn’t exactly scream “friendly”. 

You shake your head, eyes narrowing. 

Stars, this was not planned. 

You have one option.

“Run!” you shriek at the Zabraks, not sticking around to see if they take advantage of your distraction. You scramble over a crate and fly down corridors as fast as your feet can take you. You know these alleys well, just about the only advantage to being marooned for six weeks on Taek. You take a few confusing twists and turns before diving behind a barrier wall, panting heavily. You clutch your side, pain stabbing it from your sudden burst of adrenaline.

“Stars, the things I get mixed up in,” you groan inwardly.

Just when you start to think you might be free, you hear the men’s yells echoing from one alleyway over.

Damn! They both followed you.

You let out a short growl and clench your teeth, pushing away from the wall and zooming towards the location of your home camp. If you can get there unseen, you could hunker down for a few days and stay hidden until the pirates, smugglers, whatever, leave the planet.

You turn the corner, hope building in your chest, and run full-speed into the courtyard- straight into the Rodian.

You shriek and stumble backwards, right into the tall alien’s legs. His hands tighten hard around your upper arms. You yelp at the pain and uselessly try to pull away. The Rodian moves forward laughing and saying things to you in his native language.

“Let me go, you filthy…. disgusting… bug!” You kick as hard as you can, trying to make contact with the tall alien’s legs, but he only laughs and lifts you up in the air by your arms. The oxygen whooshes out of your lungs as your feet dangle a good three or four feet in the air.

“Ahg!” you cry. “Listen! I- I… urg, no hard feelings! I’m…. a mechanic! I…. offer services… free!”

Both men burst into laughter, but you remain dangling in the air.

“Put her down.”

You jerk your head sideways. Standing against a wall, almost nonchalantly, is your Mandalorian. Your mouth gapes open in utter disbelief.

“I said,” he takes one step forward, “down… Now.”

You catch the shine of a weapon pointed directly at the tall alien.

Holy kriff.

The tall alien harshly hurls you to the ground. You hit dirt hard with a cry and cover your head instinctively. You have no time to process anything before-

BLAST. BLAST.

The stench of burned flesh immediately permeates your nose. You crack open your eyes to find yourself face-to-face with the smoking remains of your Rodian friend.

“Bloody seven hells!” you yelp, stumbling up to your feet. You gawk down at the two bodies, mouth still gaped open. Your senses flood back to you all at once. Your eyes shoot up in the direction of where the Mandalorian had just been standing. All you can see is the gleam from the back of his helmet as he retreats from the courtyard.

“Wait!” you cry, freezing him mid-stride. He does not turn around, but you see him tilt his helmet slightly to the side at your voice.

You pause, your heart pumping so hard from adrenaline that you can hear it pounding in your ears.

Maybe it was that same adrenaline or your heightened emotions, but the words that spill out of your mouth surprise even you.

"I know what you're looking for."

He hadn’t been expecting that.

The Mandalorian slowly, silently turns in your direction. His dark visor bores straight into you, not at all unlike a falcon considering if you are worth making prey. 

You mentally hiss at yourself, lamenting your impulsion. 

Oh, what the hell.

Too late now.

The Mandalorian continues staring at you in laden silence. You take this as an indication to continue. You hide your shaking hands in the pockets of your pants and take a few steps forward, as close as you dared to someone so threatening and who just killed two men now laying at your feet.

“You’re looking for Marek’s base.” You pause, testing the words. The Mandalorian makes no noise nor shows any indication that you are correct. 

Silently berating yourself and your horrible decision-making skills, you open your mouth to continue. “Nobody here will help you. Nobody who knows where it’s located.” You pause again and flex your fingers nervously. “They’re… too intimidated.”

This time you let the silence sit, heavy and dense between the two of you.

After what feels like an eternity, the Mandalorian tilts his visor to the side. “And?”

With a deep breath, you throw your shoulders back, taking on the presence of someone much older, experienced, and confident. “I can take you there.” Pause. “You have to go on foot. A ship or speeder would trip the sensors.” Pause. “And you can’t get there without my help.”

Thick silence hangs in the air. You fear he might burn you right where you stand with just his damn gaze. Abruptly, the Mandalorian shifts to place a hand on his holster. You shallow hard at the motion, though you suspect it’s an involuntary mannerism of his.

“Fine… how much?” his voice rasps.

You shake your head. “No credits.”

His hand drops from the holster at that. 

“What then?”

You take a second to consider your words. This could turn out to be another scheme that fails horribly, but at this point, it is all the hope you have left. You had to throw your trust to something. 

“I- I need transportation off this rock.” You can’t help the edge of desperation your voice takes on. “As close to Keolith as you believe is a… fair exchange.”

The Mandalorian remains silent a few seconds longer than you are comfortable with.

“Why transportation?” his gruff, modulated voice slices through the silence. “Credits just as easily pays for transportation.”

You shake your head. “There’s no public transportation here. Even if I had the credits, I'd have to trust a stranger found in a dingy cantina.” You let a small smile inch onto your face. “And considering my limited experiences here,” you motion towards the smoking bodies, “I really don’t want to do that.”

You hear the Mandalorian grunt, your heart leaping that you might actually be getting somewhere with him. You take a few steps closer towards the Mandalorian. “Plus, I can work! I’m a… mechanic.” You bite your tongue at this. You... probably should not claim that as a benefit to having you on-board.

Your shoulders sink, losing a bit of their straightness. “I’m… I just have to get out of this place,” you finally say, your voice sounding very small and very unlike you. You stare the Mandalorian down, refusing to shift your eyes away despite the discomfort bubbling in your chest.

The Mandalorian is the one to break the gaze, and he looks down at the ground with a heavy sigh. “Fine.” He lifts his head back up. “We have a deal.”

Your eyes flutter in shock. “Whu-?” Quickly masking your surprise, you nod sharply. You straighten back up, taking on the persona of confidence again. “Excellent… We have a deal then.” You can’t help but flash a toothy grin at the Mandalorian.

You close the rest of the distance between the two of you and reach out a hand. “In my culture, we shake on deals,” you explain when the Mandalorian stares down at your open hand.

You hear him release a puff of air through his vocoder, but he carefully places his hand in yours- a solid, firm grip, and you flash an impish smirk up at him.

The dark, emotionless visor stares back down.

You are first to pull your hand away and cross your arms. “It would be best to head out in the morning. It’s about a whole day’s walk. We can meet here at dawn?”

The Mandalorian nods in agreement. “Fine.” His helmet then turns to look at something somewhere behind you. 

You follow his line of sight, eyes moving around the courtyard, pausing when you see the bodies of the men still laying on the ground. You chuckle cynically at the sight. Even after the sounds of blaster fire, no one dared come see about it until morning.

“Where do you live?” his raspy voice interrupts your dark humor. “I can… escort you there.”

At that, you let out a dry chuckle. Your smile saddens when he tilts his head at your response.

“Sure.” You keep your arms crossed as you meander through the courtyard and past the bodies lying dead on the ground. You turn and look up at the Mandalorian who is trailing slowly behind you.

“I’m kind of… already home.” You drop to your knees and pry away a loosened board underneath decking beside a set of stairs. You squirm through the tight opening, twisting around to peer back up at the Mandalorian towering over you. 

“See you tomorrow, Mandalorian.” You pause. “Oh, and… thanks for, you know, killing them.” You nod in the direction of the corpses.

With a loud thud, you pull the board back closed, entombing yourself under the decking you call home. You start to crawl further underneath when you hesitate, observing the Mandalorian through the cracks between the boards. He is staring directly at the panel you had just replaced. You almost think he starts to move forward.

But he turns on his heel and strides away, leaving only you and two dead bodies for company in the courtyard.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

masterlist / next chapter

a/n: Thank you so much for reading the first chapter of In Fields of White! Please feel free to review/comment on here or Ao3 letting me know what you think! :D 

Message me if you would like to be added to the tag list for In Fields of White. Let’s just say I have some surprises up my sleeve with this story! Also, it should be noted that this will most certainly be a slowburn story BECAUSE WE STAN SLOWBURN STORIES. 

[yehet-me-up]

May I Have This Dance?

Pairing: Leo/Taekwoon x reader

Genre: Regency, romance, fluff

Word Count: 2,649

Summary: Once, you and Taekwoon were best friends. Now, the gulf of adulthood and responsibility and class divide you. When he returns and invites you to a ball far above your station, how can you say no to the only man who’s ever captured your heart? 

The ballroom is even more stunning at night. The candlelight warms the faces of the guests who are already red in the cheeks from the beverages they’ve imbibed. Out through the high glass windows, framed by lush purple curtains edged in gold, you watch the moonlight shine over the fountain and the sprawling grounds. 

The song the quintet plays is one of your favorites, a familiar refrain that’s distracted you from the ache in your feet as you washed dishes, prepared platters of appetizers, and discreetly peeked through the doors at dozens of balls in the past. 

But this ball is special. Tonight you’re not a servant in the kitchen, you’re a guest. 

Mary stayed up all night helping you sew the dress. The fabric at the market cost half of your meager savings, but this chance will come around once in a lifetime for someone like you, and you’re determined to make the most of it. 

You held it against your body in the early hours of the morning, the sun just cresting over the hill so you could see your reflection in the old mirror. Soft pink fabric, richer than you’ve ever owned, trimmed in delicate white lace. A matching decorative set of pins for your updo.

Twirling around you let yourself imagine that he might fancy you. Taekwoon, heir to the Jung family estate and future owner of Lyonne Manor, has been the subject of your daydreams since your mother came here as the family cook when you were just five years old, the same as him. For years you orbited each other; pouring over the colorful illustrations of books in his father’s library, laughing and playing games in the expansive gardens, and developing a language of jokes and stories that belonged only to your friendship. 

But then, you both came of age. As the daughter of a poor cook you had little prospects of your own. Luckily, one of the cook’s helpers finally retired and a spot became available. Unluckily, it was time for Taekwoon to assume his position in the household and he was sent away to Town to continue his education and to learn the family business. 

For years it felt as if your heart had been stolen from your chest; as though you hardly consider it living without him near you. Brief encounters at holidays and birthdays made you withdraw. The dirt under your fingernails and jam stains on your apron were charming at sixteen, but as time went on and you both grew up they started to feel like an ocean between you and the man you hopelessly loved. 

When he came home yesterday morning, he caught you off guard. His white shirt and trousers, held up by his favorite black suspenders, were more casual and at ease than you’d seen him in ages. His eyes held a reckoning, as though he’d finally taken the world and bent it to his will. 

‘Good morning, sir,’ you say, brushing the flour off your apron and bowing your head.

‘Oh, is it sir, now?’ His voice is warm and bright and full of laughter. ‘Shall I call you ma’am?’

On instinct you look up at him, ready to snap off a sharp teasing reply. But the words die on your lips. Neither of you are children anymore. He is not yours to play with, knowing his heart will one day belong to another. 

And you are not his to toy with, either. You want to believe it’s from ignorance, that he twists the knife of anguish deeper into your heart. You have hours to go before your day is over and already your back aches, you don’t need to add heartsickness to your list of pains. 

It doesn’t matter that his brows raise and his mouth pulls to the side in jest, you refuse to take his bait. ‘Can I make you something to eat, Lord Jung?’ 

With a scoff he strides forward to the table in the center of the kitchen where you work. ‘What has gotten into you, my friend? Have I done something to offend you?’ He lays his palms on the counter and leans forward, trying to coax you from your foul mood. 

You can’t help but put ice in your words. ‘I cannot fathom what you could want me for, sir, aside from the task to which I am charged.’ 

Still determined to make you smile he stands and affects a faux-haughty demeanor. ‘Ah. I see, I see. So I suppose now that I am home for good and there is a ball tomorrow in my honor, you will refuse to dance with me.’

Your jaw drops and you watch as he picks up an apple from the table and rolls it casually between his palms, his eyes not leaving yours. You should be angry about the last-minute notification of the ball. You’ll be up until midnight preparing the food and uncovering the furniture and assembling the candles in the ballroom. 

But the thing that strikes you most is the way he asks about dancing. As though you would be allowed there, among people like him. As though you were his equal. Your heart beats so strongly in your chest you rest you palm over it to contain it within the cage of your ribs. 

‘What do you mean... dance with you?’

He sets the apple down and drops the act. ‘Don’t pretend with me. Did we not dance around that very ballroom countless times in our youth? I believe I still have the bruises on my toes to prove it.’

You gasp in indignation and throw a towel at him, which he easily catches. ‘How dare you. I was a perfect dancer! You were the clumsy one,’ you laugh, pointing at him. 

‘There it is,’ he counters with a smile, pointing back at you. 

‘What?’ 

‘Your smile,’ he says, making you lift a hand to your mouth, cheeks heating. ‘I’ve missed it. More than you know.’

In the silence between you the truth dawns clearly and your smile falls. ‘Taek, there’s no way. I’m not allowed. Look at me.’ You gesture to the length of fabric tying back your messy hair, the dress you outgrew two years ago but haven’t had any money to replace.

‘I am looking at you,’ he says warmly. 

Something in his eyes is new, an awareness that makes you distinctly aware of how long it’s been since you were both fourteen. Since he kissed you behind the tall topiary in the back garden. How his lips had been warm and unsure but oh so sweet. And how much more certain and confident and rough you imagine his lips to be now. 

You straighten, refusing to be diminished by his teasing, by your position as a servant of this great house. ‘And? What do you see, lord Jung?’

He holds your gaze for long seconds, untold emotions swimming in his irises that do nothing but confuse you and make your palms sweat. Then he goes and ruins the moment by tossing the towel back at you. 

Laughing, he runs from the room. ‘My date for the dance tomorrow!’ he calls over his shoulder. 

You stand there, torn between laughing and crying, for far too long before you finally drag yourself back to your work.

It’s almost worth the curious and confused stares from the rest of the household when he sees you. Speaking with his father he looks like a prince from one of the stories you shared growing up. Vest and jacket of the finest material. Hair brushed artfully off his forehead. Posture straight and proud, arm behind his back. If only the two of you as children could see him now you’d laugh at how stuffy he looks. 

But then his eyes land on you and the expression falls, revealing not Lord Jung but Taek, your always and forever friend, and something hard and bitter around your heart melts. You smile uncertainly at him, feeling lost and like an imposter among the rich and eligible ladies of the village. They eye him as he walks towards you, batting their lashes and attempting to get his attention. 

He pays them no mind, smiling broadly, something like triumph in his eyes. Even in your best shoes he still stands taller than you. Reaching for your hands he seems to shield you from the rest of the world. Oh how lovely it would be to escape it all, for it to be just the two of you once more. 

‘You came,’ he says, breathless and bending towards you like a flower to the sun. 

You wrinkle your nose in surprise, stepping back. ‘Of course I came. Did you mean for me not to? Was this a joke?’

He holds your hands firm, not allowing you to move away from him. ‘It’s no joke. I was worried you wouldn’t want to be seen with me.’

‘With you?’

Leaning down, he smirks. ‘I’ve become a great bore. I’m a gentleman now,’ he says, rolling his eyes. ‘I wouldn’t think you’d want anything to do with someone as stodgy as me anymore.’

Tugging on his hands you whisper in his ear. ‘It’s truly a tragedy, but I think I can bear it.’

When you pull back he watches you in a way that makes you feel like the only person in the room. The only person in the world. The quintet starts up a new song. Romantic, full of passion and strings, and your heart swells. You wonder distantly if you fell while bringing the dairy back from the market and hit your head. If you’re not lying on your bed with the doctor taking your pulse at this very moment.

But then he bends at his waist and asks, ‘may I have this dance?’

It feels as though he’s asking far more than your company for a dance or an evening. Not caring about anything but him you slide your palm against his. ‘Yes, you can.’

You feel all the eyes in the room on the two of you but you pay them no mind. Far more captivating is the way his hand feels on your waist as you join the couples on the floor; familiar and comforting but also new and thrilling. The dance is fast and exciting and even if you could speak, you wouldn’t have the words. 

For so long you ached for him, feeling the loss as tangible and real as a wound to the heart. Seeing him would kindle your hope, only to dash it to a million pieces and make you retreat in on yourself in your pain. 

But now he’s here and real and looking at you like you’re everything he’s ever wanted. It feels like a dream but the dimple at the corner of his mouth and the lock of hair that’s fallen over his forehead and the way his eyes widen with delight when he lifts you are all more real than you could have ever dreamed. 

If you get to have him for this one night, you’re not letting him go. Blessedly, incredibly, he seems to agree. Custom would dictate he do his duty as the heir to this family and dance with the eligible women in the room. But even after more than a few ruffled feathers he refuses to leave your side. 

Dance after dance his gaze burns into you, his eyes darting to the neckline of your dress, your shoulders, your wrists, drinking you in and swallowing you alive with his attention. 

When your skin is damp with the heat and you feel like you’re flying, he asks if you’d like to take a walk in the garden. You heartily agree, slipping out the side door with him while everyone else is distracted by the quadrille. His arm doesn’t need to be around your waist, but in the breeze he keeps you tucked against his side. Being a romantic fool, you allow him. 

Long ago there was no silence between you. An endless stream of jokes and facts and speculations. Now you walk beside him in companionable peace, admiring the stars up above and the way the garden has remained beautiful and perfect and unchanged all the long years of your life. He pulls you beside a large topiary with a smirk.

‘Do you recognize this spot?’

You look up at the shape and laugh, heart catching in your throat. ‘Yes. This is where you kissed me.’

He opens his mouth to speak but swallows the words instead, looking up at the moon. After a pause he speaks so softly you have to lean in to hear him. ‘I think I’ve loved you since I truly understood the word.’ 

You stutter. ‘But - it’s - I’m -’ 

He grins and brings both his hands to cup your face, the delightful roughness of his palms grounding you in the truth of his words. ‘But nothing. Damn the rest of the world. As long as you love me, I’m yours. There’s never been anyone else.’ 

He drops to his knees and holds your hands in his, eyes swimming with emotion in the moonlight. ‘Marry me.’

‘What?’ You’re now positive that you’re hallucinating this entire evening. ‘Are you mad?’

Taekwoon kisses one of your palms and then the other. ‘Of course I’m mad. Madly in love with the only woman who could best me at lawnbowls. Who makes me laugh so hard I can’t find the air to breathe. Whose lips haunt my dreams, teasing me with thoughts of one day tasting them again.’

You drop to your knees alongside him, unable to stop the tears that form in your eyes. Holding his face in your hands you memorize the feeling of him, here, now, as a man. He waits patiently while you trail your fingers across his brows, while you run your fingers through his hair, while you stroke along his now angular jaw. 

‘For so long I dreamed about being yours. You’re all I’ve ever wanted, but I never thought -’ You choke on a sob and he pulls you into a hug. ‘I never thought you’d want me too. I didn’t think it was possible.’ 

He rubs your back, your hands cradled against your chest and his. Turning your palms flat you feel for his heartbeat, finding it as strong and fast and insistent as your own. ‘What about your family?’

Gently, he eases you back. ‘I spoke with my father. He had his qualms, but I told him I’d surrender my inheritance if he didn’t allow the match.’ He smiles. ‘My mother told me she knew is was lost to you the first time I kissed you all those years ago.’

The tears fall freely down your face now, the last you the obstacles between you falling away like sand between your fingers. ‘Do you mean it? You and me, forever?’ 

He nods, sniffling around his own rush of emotion. ‘I’ve never wanted anything more in all my life than I want to be yours, for all the days I’m on this earth.’

Unrestrained joy makes you hold his face and press your lips to his. He recovers fast, pulling at your waist and your neck and securing his body to yours, his mouth greedily tasting your lips. 

Fire ignites in your chest and you wonder if this is how stars feel when they’re born. You wonder how they contain all the brightness inside them without collapsing on the spot. Long ago, you hid under a table in a library with a boy named Taekwoon and read that all stars die out eventually. But first, they shine and light up the night. 

As his hand tangles in your hair and his tongue strokes yours you know that tonight, and as long as you’re by his side, you shine brightly enough to make even the stars jealous.

~~~~~~~

tagging @merlionmen​ ILYYYY 💚💚💚💚💚

[fxluna]

Korean Female Releases - January 2020

This list was created with the intention of exposing in a easy and neat way female releases from January 2020, including all genres and projects. I hope that here you can find talented artists and amazing songs and give them the love, attention and recognition they deserve.  

If you see any errors or releases missing, please let me know!

1st

YEOJEONG (여정) - Jackson, The Talkative Cat (수다쟁이 잭슨)

Lee Young Ji (이영지) - WALGA (왈가)

Fil (필), Kim Dae yeon (김대연) - 선물 

LUNCH (런치) - 나의 이름을 (Love Forever)

AIRY (애리) - 신세계 (New Universe)

2nd

knockinon (노킹온) feat. RIPLEY - Door (문)

msftz (미스피츠) - 2080

Brown Eyed Girls (브라운 아이드 걸스) - Snowman

이기리 - Make Me Sing

NARA - Dirty Street

일상밴드 (Band daily) - 사랑은 머그잔에 (A Mug in Love)

LUCY (루씨) feat. 오세진 - 너를, 봄 

3rd

Vanishing Point (소실점) - Fake (척)

Lubless (러블레스) - Bluebird (파랑새)

Lee Yong Shin (이용신) - Smile

Dopein (도핀) Feat. Horim - 나 원하는 대로 (How I want it)

Elli K (엘리케이) - Love

Park se ho (박세호) - Beside her (그대곁에서)

OHLYNN (올린) - 우리의 헤어짐이 (Lisianthus) 

Jisugongzu (유지수) - 호수

Newzz (뉴즈) - BLIND LOVE 

Linhee (린희) - 얼룩진 밤 (stained night)

Sumerlee (이연호) - 지나갈 것들 

Nooma Feat. Hippie Kunda - Pathos

4th

Joodan (주단) - 너만 자꾸 생각나

Youngji (영지) - 사랑이 날 떠나가 

FIXED FOCUS Feat. chohee (초희) - 그대는 모르죠 (You Don't Know) 

5th

siha (시하) - Inside the Room (방안)

LoveSong - Windletter (바람편지)

Prin (프린) - 안녕, 내 사랑 Hello, My Love 

Yerim Sohn (손예림) - PALE BLUE

Yerim Sohn (손예림) - PROBLEM

6th

YOUNHA (윤하) - Dark Cloud (먹구름)

Jeong Hyo Bean (정효빈) - sometimes (가끔은)

Peanut Butter (피넛버터) - 마음방 Dear daddy   

WooAhan (우아한) - 나만 너 (Only Me Only You)

프루츠 버니 (Feat. 윤혜린) - 감귤나무

kimneul (김늘) - 너에게 전하는 밤

Sýn Hjang (신향) - Shoulder Line (어깨선)

7th

KissN (키스엔) - Hope you

Naseul (나슬) - 나에게

Seol Dal Dal (서달달) - It just happened 어쩌다 보니

Hongsi (홍시) - TinT

LUNNE (루네) - 눈꽃

Kim sin ah (김신아) - 이별 그 후 (After Parting)  

SEOY - Lazy Sunday    

8th

DreamNote (드림노트) - WISH (바라다)

me and you (미앤유) With Jung Soan (정소안) - 사랑이 뭐였더라  What Is Love?

Elaine Kim (일레인) - Deep Breath

Joo Yeahin (주예인) - 네가 없는 하루

Lionclad (라이언클레드) - My Love 

Pyun Sun Hee (편선희) - 퇴근길 (Routine) 

Yunsae (윤새) - Stay with Me

신디 (Sindy) (Vocal. 비터스윗) - 다시 우린

안성옥 - 시작

강다나 - 안아줄게 

란 (Ran) - 너를 많이 좋아했어  

9th

pH-1 Feat. Yerin Baek (백예린) - Nerdy Love (Prod. Mokyo)

Jung So An (정소안) - 궁금해 I'm Curious 

그녀 (Vocal. 지하이) - 돌아간다면..  

Woo YeRin (우예린) - 전하지 못한 편지

멜로우카페 (Vocal 이예린) - 지나고 나면

Nathania Feat. Nason - Lost Treasure (Prod. By Coral J)

J.MEE (제이미) - 알아  

Hong Soo Jung (홍수정) feat. Ko eun hye (고은혜) - Love (사랑을)   

GRACY (그레씨) - 그냥지금만생각하고싶어  

 Amber Liu - Stay Calm   

10th

SUZANNE (수젠) - Can't Hang

ANS - Say My Name

HAERAN HONG (홍혜란) - 산촌

오아이 - No Thanks 

K. Flower (케이플라워) feat. Gawon (가원) - I Love You (널 사랑한 기억)   

Hailey Jeong (헤일리정) - promise you  

Subok - Can You Save Me?

Ruby Star (루비스타) - 결국은, 사랑 

11th

LYn (린) - Three Wishes 세 가지 소원

Love Statue (사랑의 단상) - 겨울꽃 (Winter Flower)  

PARANG JAMONG (파랑자몽) - 부탁이야 (Please) 

12DAL (열두달) - 사랑아 아픈 사랑아 (Sick Love)

Roomy (루미) - Because it's you 그대라서 

12th

2NB (투앤비) - How Can I Love You (왜 연락 안 되는 거니)

Banni (반니) - 나쁜놈 Bad Guy

Yerin Baek (백예린) - 다시 난, 여기 (Here I Am Again)

SUDI (With LAYN, iMos) - Cinema

SUDI (With Hauzee, Holmsted) - LP bar

 송민경 - 가르쳐줘요 

MISA (미사) - 밤드라이브 Night Drive

이예준 - 미친 소리

Stella Jang (스텔라 장) - Right Time and Right Place  

Daji (다지) - Before Sunrise (흩어지는 새벽)

   13th

MAYDONI (메이다니) - Black Snow

Hansol (한솔) - 그리워서 I Miss You

KLANG (클랑) - Horizon 

seoninjang (선인장) - 영원한 바다 (Eternal Sea)

MOONBOW - Your Last Day 

14th

meenoi (미노이) - 3M

MIGEUM (미금) - This Night

Gummy (거미) - Your Day (너의 하루는 좀 어때)  

 Sophiya (소피야 ) - Ripple

Im DAI (임다이) - RIPLEY  

OVCOCO (오브코코) feat. TAEK - 밤 (Night)

nov (노브) - 겨울꽃 (冬花)   

Jueun Lim (임주은) - 디저트송

MosPick Feat. WOOSEOK (우석) of PENTAGON (펜타곤) - FINE DAY

SOLAJ - 8AM (PROD. HYUNKI)

Seongju (한성주) feat. Boyoon (보윤) - 너를 보며    

15th

Baek Sunnyeo (백선녀) - 널 지켜주지 못해 미안해 Protect you 

볼빨간사춘기, 바닐라 어쿠스틱, 스웨덴세탁소, 스무살, 레터플로우, 김지수, WH3N(웬), 보라미유, 최유리 - Awkward(어색한 사이)

TAEYEON (태연) - 내게 들려주고 싶은 말 (Dear Me)

Sorae (소래) - 비 Rain (Vocal 기다온)

Sorae (소래) - 그대에게 To you

KIMHEEJIN (김희진) - 차마 I Can't Forget You

Anne (빨간머리앤) - 작가처럼  

크레파스 - 못난이

ALE (에일) With D2ear - 고마워 (I love you)

CARLA (칼라) - Dan Da La

Cafemocha (카페모카) feat. 모닝커피 - 좋은 날이 올 거에요  

양팡 Feat. 태리 - On air

Hyunsun Park (박현선) - Shall We Dance?

Yeram (예람) - HOLD TIGHT 

16th

Beige (베이지) - 이별 첫날   

Lilynote (릴리노트) - 행복  

Solar (솔라), Kassy (케이시) - A song from the past (이 노랜 꽤 오래된 거야)

PARK KI YOUNG (박기영) - Tough girl�� 

Jan Di Kum (금잔디) - BANANA CHACHA Trot (바나나차차 트로트)

sogak sogak (소각소각) Feat. jae hee of MIND U - 내가 다 미안해 It’s all my fault

REDCHAIR (빨간 의자) - 한강 둔치 (Riverside of The Han River)

수연 - 별이 지는 순간  

Moonsound (문사운드) Feat. flowER - winter film  

17th

KO A JUNG (고아정) - 미안해    

Iony (아이오니) (Vocal. Jungmi (정미)) - 예쁘게만 보여 Day by day

gahee (가희) - 서울도시, 달빛야경

릴리모닝스타 - 오늘부터 리셋  

달지X로옐 - 레벨업 (메이플스토리)

가나그네 프로젝트 (feat. 임성희 Of 한살차이) - 마취

Ha.E.D (하이디) - Liar (라이어)  

meeuz - 더 깊      

18th

U SUNG EUN (유성은) - 도망가요 (Runaway)

KIARA (키아라) - 보스 (BOSS)

J-Cera (제이세라) - 사랑이 저만치 가네

verycoybunny - Love Is Giving

Wanee Jung (정희경) - 틈 CREVASSE (Sitar & Tabla)

19th

Meaningful Stone (김뜻돌) - 어른이 된다면 (If I Grow Up)

HONG JIN YOUNG (홍진영) - 그대 오는 날  Love is Coming  

20th

MiGyo (미교) - 미칠 듯 사랑을 하고 Love like crazy

Ever-New (에버 뉴) Feat. Violinist 박진희 - 운명  

Hyunhee Seen (신현희) - 독백 [Monologue]  

찬열 (CHANYEOL), 펀치 (Punch) - Go away go away

Lydia (리디아) x Ryhee (리희) - 내 사랑이 떠난다 (My love is leaving)

AIR - 돌아와

프린 (Prin) - 함께라면 (Together) 

21st

Paul Kim (폴킴), CHUNG HA (청하) - Loveship

오소연 - 잊고싶어요  

Im Som (임솜) with 성영주 - 그래, 참 바보 같다 Yeah, that's stupid  

Heize (헤이즈) - That's All (다 그렇지 뭐)  

Gawon (가원) - 우리 헤어진 게 맞니  

BBAhn (비비안) - 하나뿐인 그대여

4& (포엔) - Starry Night

Syn (씬) - Selp Cure Tape. 자가치유.  

zytpk - 겨울 다음 겨울 (Winter After Winter)     

윤보라 - 이렇게 끝내서 미안해  

Bandgirin (밴드기린) - Beautiful days

ONZ feat. 미누 - Do You

City Nature (Vocal by 오선미) - 흰눈 Snow   

22nd

Baek A (백아) - Time Slip (시간을 되돌리면)

이소현 - 우리를 우리로 만들었던 날  

MAY&SEOK (메이앤석) - 어렸던 왕자  A Little Prince

SUDI With. Hauzee, 개미친구, 김비노 - 그날 우리는

 23rd

HAILEY (헤일리) - Farewell Vlog (이별Vlog) (loves. 베이식)

Poetic Narrator (시적화자) - Sometimes I Desperately Want To Be Sick (가끔은 미치도록 아프고 싶어요)

JHWA (제이화) - I Met You (너를 만나)

Moongarden (달빛정원) - 집으로 가는 길에  On My Way Back Home

 GRACY (그레씨) - 아무도 모르게

Maiello (메이엘로) - 비밀 (Secret)

youbeyou (유비유) - 널 바라볼 때

An Ji Yeon (안지연) - 비야  

SOYOUNG UM (엄소영) - 그리울거야 Missing you 

Appetizer (에피타이저) feat. MYO SOO (묘수) - 잠도안오는 이런 밤이면 Sleep At Night  

이예린 - 사람은 이상하고 사랑은 모르겠어

hyeon seo park (박현서) - 밤 중 (midnight) 

Mandy (맨디) - anyway

Mandy (맨디) - 파이달 BlueMoonLight (prod. oe)

Machiato (마끼아또) - 그대만 내 사랑입니다 (You are my love)       

24th

Sung Dam (성담) - 보고싶어요 Still

Oh Jieun (오지은) - 지나가요 pass by 

Seiren 8 - FLEX

반설희 - 숨바꼭질

25th

OYEON (오연) - Want to say (하고 싶은 말) 

Michelle (이미쉘) - 이별은 너 혼자 하니

TERA (태라) - 이제 와서야  

Recordbell (레코드벨) - 모든 땅 위의 빛은 저 하늘 누군가의 별 (Constellation)

26th

LEEVIAN (리비안) - 내 머리속엔 너만 상영하는 작은 영화관 하나 있나 봐

Sosohan Project (소소한 프로젝트) - 도시, 별  

Ran (란) - 결국 이별     

27th

Kana Bathe (카나베잇) - When I Feel Love

YOYOMI (요요미) - 알고 싶어 니 마음을 (I Wanna Know Your Feeling)

28th

MINSEO (민서) - Love Yourself (너에게 말해줘)

 DJ 캐시 - Cash Gun

MAMAMOO (마마무) - I miss You (자꾸 더 보고싶은 사람)

Cheon Soa (천소아) - 너를 처음 보았던 그날  

the Night of Seokyo (서교동의 밤) feat. BiNi (비니) - Diving

예나비 - 한 편의 시(詩)

Vivivavy (비비베이비) - Ready For Love

Rorin (로린) - 가지않는 시계  Miss You   

29th

SIYEON (시연) (Dreamcatcher(드림캐쳐)) - Paradise

Ha Jin (하진) - Dawn (새벽)  

LEE HAE RI (이해리) - 우는 법을 잊어버렸나요 (Just Cry) 

Singil Station Romance (신길역 로망스) feat. Jeon chul min (전철민) - Our temperature 우리의 온도 

Myown (마이온) - 결코 평범하지 않았다고  

yerieL (예리엘) - LINE

I:magine (이매진) - 걱정을 해서 걱정이 없으면 걱정이 없겠네

METP (멧피) - 세레나데 

Moestone (feat. Momoko) - 어떡해

Hye Lim (혜림) - take it slow      

LEE YEON JU (이연주) - 하루종일 (All Day Long)  

30th

Yezi (예지) - My Gravity

전기장판 - 신호

Lee Jihye (이지혜) - 긴가민가 (Puzzle me)   

31st

HYOLYN (효린) feat. Crucial Star - 말 없이 안아줘 (Hug Me Silently)

Espresso (에스프레소) Feat. 가원 - 집에 가기 싫어 I don't want to go home

JANG HYEJIN (장혜진) - 이별에게 졌나 봐 (Lost to farewell)

Savina & Drones (사비나앤드론즈) - DOWN

SingSongLa (싱송라) - Real Dreams

[ryanmeft]

Movie Review: Parasite

It’s a crying shame that the ad campaign for Bong Joon-ho’s Parasite put such emphasis on the idea of the movie’s mesmerizing tonal shifts. Like your first Kurosawa or your first time in a new city, this is an experience that is best if you have absolutely no idea what you’re in for. It’s a class satire, and a family drama, and a mystery, and frankly I’ve already said too much. It is one of those films that cannot be adequately reviewed, because the best things written about it will come years after the fact. If you haven’t seen it, stop reading now.

Films from Asia often focus on the plights of a working class that lives in conditions all but the worst-off U.S. citizens can’t compare to, and that’s true here. We zero in on a family of four living in a basement that passes as an apartment. The area they live in is a place where such spaces are piled on top of one another like broken blocks. Drunks piss right outside their window, which they leave open to get free pest control from the city cleaners. They work menial jobs, such as folding pizza boxes, to make ends meet. Kim Ki-taek (Song Kang-ho), the father, actively encourages his family in taking full advantage of any opportunities they can seize, because there is no other reasonable way to live. His wife Chung-sook (Jang Hye-jin) is skilled in cooking and cleaning with very few resources or space. His daughter Ke-jeong (Park So-dam) is a gifted artist, a talent with little application in a ghetto. His son Ki-woo (Choi Woo-shik) is smart enough to be in university, but that is of course a pipe dream.

That changes when Ki-woo’s friend Min-hyuk (Park Seo-joon) leaves for university and suggests Ki-woo pose as a university student to pick up the English tutoring he’s been doing with the daughter of some rich clients. They live in a house designed by a famous architect, who built himself an Eden in the same city where so many live in abject poverty: the yard is larger than the Kim’s entire house and each room is big enough for an apartment. The Park family that currently owns it lives as if their help is invisible. The daughter Da-Hye (Jung Ji-so) falls for her new tutor, while younger child Da-song (Jung Hyun-joon) runs around playing at his idea of American Indians (the Indians are both the good and the bad guys; there are no cowboys). Dong-ik (Lee Sun-kyun) runs an IT company, but it could be any type of company, as he’s never shown to do much besides be chauffeured around in expensive suits. When asked about his relationship to his wife (Cho Yeo-Jeong), he says “We’ll call it love”, but in other scenes, especially a rather sexually explicit one, they do seem to care for each other. That’s important, because there’s no denying both families in this film are human.

That’s important, because neither is ideal. Ki-woo initially takes the tutoring job in apparent good faith, and I thought I was watching a simple domestic drama, sort of like Downton Abbey in Korea, where the lives of both served and servant are examined. Then Ki-woo gets an idea: manipulate the family’s existing servants into being fired, then have his family take their place while hiding the fact they are all family. They’re also hiding the fact they aren’t technically qualified for the work. They set up fake headhunting services to convince the Parks they are hiring highly vetted professionals. Ki-jeong, who has some skill with art but mostly with forging, becomes the highly respected art teacher to young Da-song, reading about “art therapy” online and then faking her readings of hidden meaning in the child’s scribbles. Chung-sook, who spends her days keeping her own house, becomes a maid of long experience. Ki-taek, who can drive, becomes an expert driver who has served many wealthy clients. The family starts merely wanted jobs that aren’t folding pizza boxes for spare cash, but their ambitions grow, and soon Ki-woo has ambitions of marrying Da-hye so he can inherit the mansion and all the money, he begins to refer to it as their house.

I couldn’t feel really sorry for the Parks here. The movie has morphed at this point from a drama about domesticity to one about economic desperation, and the Parks are capable of being rooked by the Kims in the first place because of the value they place on status. The Kims, of course, are excellent at giving the family exactly what they want, and no one would be likely to question that they are what they claim to be. The illusion of high class is as valuable here as the real thing. At the same time, the Kims grow greedy themselves. They are not, it must be noted, striking any bold blows for equality among the masses, but for advancement among themselves. After all, they got other poor people fired and turned out on the streets to claim their positions. This is not a simple story of outcast lower class heroes sticking it to arrogant rich overlords; neither family is shy about using and abusing others to get what they want. The standout performance here is by So-dam, whose character proves to be the most adept at manipulation.

The thing about stepping on others is they are very likely to step on you back. The movie seems at this point to be about a really clever con job, until one of the former servants (Lee Jung-eun) returns begging a favor. At this points the film morphs yet again. The Parks have gone on vacation, and the servant catches the Kims in the act of using the house (and the booze and food) as if it were their own, reveling in the possible excesses of being wealthy. Since the former housekeeper also has a secret, the movie becomes both a comedy of errors (naturally, the Parks have their vacation spoiled and return early) and a vicious satire on…well, on many things. Power. The limits of ambition. Class struggles. The idea of being trapped by wealth rather than freed by it. The layers of subtext here are so many that it may take years to dissect them all.

Joon-ho and co-writer Han Jin-won approach all these things with a breathlessly rolling dark comedy, so that in seconds we go from laughing to horrified. That it all stays tonally true---that the movie never feels like it is cheating or taking shortcuts---shows remarkable control over material that could easily become chaos in less skilled hands. Credit for this needs to go also to cinematographer Hong Kyung-pyo and composer Jyong Jae-il. The former chose the site for the mansion, which was built for the film, with angles of the sun and other factors in mind, so that once the camera rolls each shot is perfectly placed. This becomes especially important during the finale, in which the locations of doors and stairways between which characters are moving become a visual poetry of their own. The latter reigns in the score when needed, and hits creeping notes when they are needed, balancing each scene. Characters move from floor to floor in ways that visually represent the divide between classes. It is notable that none of the upper class folks ever descend into the basement, which is the one area of the house that is not perfectly organized. The door to it leads to a darkened stairwell, whereas other areas are lighted, a cue as to how the high-powered CEO and his family see their servants.

I haven’t even begun to say everything I could about this film, and I suspect I won’t be able to do so for some time. The curse of reviews is that you must write them before your thoughts on a film are fully formed. I won’t pretend I fully understand the film, as I’m both not Korean and not smart enough, but I can safely say it’s a rare case where “You’ve never seen anything like this before” surely applies. It’s possible you never will again.

Verdict: Must-See

Note: I don’t use stars, but here are my possible verdicts.

Must-See

Highly Recommended

Recommended

Average

Not Recommended

Avoid like the Plague

 You can follow Ryan's reviews on Facebook here:

https://www.facebook.com/ryanmeftmovies/

 Or his tweets here:

https://twitter.com/RyanmEft

 All images are property of the people what own the movie.

[graciouslypure]

Twenty twenty

It is 8th of January 2020.

Honestly, I cant feel the transition of the decade at all (if it was not for the count down on tv2).

Late December 2019 and early January 2020 saw us in such profound situations, an awakening to a humble start of the year, start of the decade.

Fire in Australia, bombing here and there, flood, pandemic, etcetera etcetera.

Through December, my sister suffered from a severe headache, that wont allow her to even stand up properly, affecting her whole head, down to the neck and right shoulder. She depended on painkiller to go through everyday. To make it worst, as a final year dental student, she could hardly attend to her patients. This went on for weeks and the GP suggested her to see a neurologist as they could not detect her problem. She kept on delaying coming back as she feels that she had a lot to complete and on the other hand, she had'nt prepared for any diagnosis.

As she could barely handle the continous and horrendous pain, she flew home and set an appointment with a neurologist at a private hospital (after several arrangements). At this time, I was lucky because my little brother was around, along with my sister's best friend to accompany us. She undergone CT scan and MRI, and was suspected glioma, with diffused hyperintense lesion on the right cerebullar cortex. As laymen, we were so worried with this condition, as the specialist suggested another MRI if the pain persist after some medication, thatvis after two months. However, ibu consulted our cousin and a family friend, and they asked to seek for second opinion.

Allah is great!

Ibu's friend suggested another specialist in a government hospital who subspecialised in neurointerventional radiology. He suggested that my sister come home again by end of that week as her condition may deteriorate fast and January would be too late. So again, she came back in the same month, underwent another set of MRA and MRI and it was confirmed right pica territory infarction. There were necrosis tissues in the blood vessels, inhibiting it to supply blood and oxygen to certain area of the brain. In simple term, its stroke! Stroke? Stroke, people! It's a mild stroke but if goes untreated, could cause paralysis. Condition is not reversible but can be prevented in other places. Once the brain cells are dead, they can not be regenerated. Naudzubillah min zalik.

I have to state that my sister is an active, healthy 26 year old. She goes gym at least twice a week and eats healthily. I mean: she cuts sugar, and drinks plain water most of the time too! What could possibly go wrong? So the specialist referred her to another neurosurgeon for the treatment management. Alhamdulillah, it wasnt a rare case, a lot of older people gets them, but in youngsters, statistically only one case per year.

Now, just as my sister flew back to her place, my son was down with a high fever. This was the last day of 2019. Just four days before, we went for a follow up with a paedatrician on his speech delay at another hospital (the last appointment it seemed, as fahim has overcome his problem, alhamdulillah). We went to our usual outing to the mall on the weekend before too. On the first day of 2020, we went to see a GP as Fahim's temperature didnt subside even after pcm supp. So the GP prescribed diclofenac sodium (NSAID) (yes, wait for it!) besides antibiotic and flu syrup. We happily returned home cause after one whole day, that's the only medication that made Fahim's temperature back to normal. So we continued giving him the supps up to day 4, having used 4 whole supps...

On Day 3, my husband then catch a cold too. His, was different. He could feel the heat and pain, concentrated on the head and eyes area. He shivers a lot and his cold sweats dampens our couch. So the next day, again we went to GP, and he tested my husband for Influenza.. And he was Influenza A positive. We were so sure that he got the virus from Fahim, so the doctor referred us to the hospital. At this time, my good old friend told me not to use the NSAID. And just minutes after, the news spread of acute encephalopathy associated with influenza in small kids and NSAID was everywhere! On whatssap, facebook, news, you name it! We freaked out and worried sick! Even at the hospital, (we chose another government hospital) the emergency department couldnt admit my husband and fahim, but politely gave us quarantine leave for five days and some medication for the whole quarantine time. She said at least 50 positive cases of influenza were referred there daily! Definitely an outbreak. But after 2 weeks if the symptoms still around or the condition worsens, we were to come back to the hospital. Even the supposed medicine for Influenza were reserved only for critical patients. We had to make sure Fahim and Fahmy drinks lotss of water and take PCM timely.

So, quarantine. Seems simple.

When you are in your second trimester, with a toddler and a husband with Influenza A to take care of, its farrrr from simple, ladies and gentlemen.

(At this point I am still contemplating to write on the challenges or not, seems ungrateful and as if I am the only one facing this, but as a wife and a mother, you learn every now and then, forever. So. Here are some for the memories.)

1. Your kid who lovesss medicine refuse to take medicine the time you wanted him to and I literally had to force him with a taek-wan-do white belt that I have. And pcm is 4 hourly.

2. His temperature would stay at 39 degree celcius. Come down around 37.8-9 for an hour, after an hour or 2 of pcm, than you feed him another round of pcm. Back to 1st point.

3. As temperature hardly comes down, you had to "jerlum" a loghat we learned from the emergency medical officer. And this boy refused to place a wet cloth on his head! Whats more, under his armpits or other parts of the body!

4. He refused milk. At one time I thought ok maybe "nak putus susu". I was glad too, but what I did, made him syrup drink in a 300ml bottle, and he survived on only that daily (and some liquid when we feed him medicine). When he woke up zillion times at night, he'll drink from that syrup too. No milk for few days. This worries us too, but 300ml better than nothing.

5. What is clingy again?

6. Your husband's temperature wont come down and he's not his usual self for few days was distressing.

I mean, its a different level of sabr altogether! Honestly, I didnt think I'll survive. Body ache, mentally and physically exhausted. I am definitely not one with the most patience on earth, I admit. Everyday praying for strength and an end to this episode.

.

.

.

Allahuakbar Allahuakbar Allahuakbar!

After a torturous yet meaningful week, Fahim and Fahmy recovered. Alhamdulillah. Thumma alhamdulillah.

This was a great kick start of our decade.

And Fahim started asking for his milk as usual.

.

.

.

So people, in 2020,

1. Listen to your body. Dont stress yourself too much. If you detect something unusual, no harm checking.

2. Stroke can happen to anyone, anytime. Lead a balanced life. At least it lessens the risk.

3. Drink plenty of water. Everytime. Better yet.

4. Get vaccinated. Cant stress enough on this. Flu vaccine's available. I had it during last umrah I think. Prevention is better than cure.

5. Sabar sabar and sabar.

6. Cant believe we are in Year 2020! Have a great decade! In sha Allah

[v-le]

Kdrama: 그냥 사랑하는 사이 Review

Foreword: The entire composition of this “rant” took me about 5 months to complete. This drama changed a part of me. That is all I have to say.

---

It hasn’t been a full 24 hours since I finished the last episode of this drama, and I may have not completely collected my thoughts yet, but I just want to make one point clear: it was a beautiful masterpiece that was simply too poignant, real, haunting, and raw for the world of kdramas.

This probably sounds like a terrible diss at the rest of the kdrama world, but to call this drama a kdrama, in my opinion, undermines its value. This show went beyond the boundaries of “normal kdramas” and brought us stories that are unpopular or just rarely addressed in the realm of kdramas in general.

To start off, I have a simple disclaimer, and it is that this drama is not for everyone. For some, it is too heavy, for others it is too slow. 그 사이 requires an open mind that is willing to absorb not only all the light, but all the dark, too. Because the brightest things tend to come out of the darkness.

Especially, towards the latter half of 그 사이, I began to cry really easily for every interaction that Kang-doo and Moon-soo had, for every event that made them a little more miserable or a little happier, for anything small or big in their lives. For the first time ever while watching something, I genuinely felt the pain of their worlds reflect onto mine, not because I necessarily related with them, but because their stories felt so real and tangible, that they were beginning to coincide with the stories of my own. Even up until the very end, although I thought it would be excruciatingly difficult for me to bid farewell to these characters and everything else they came with, I ended up feeling genuinely satisfied. Because, something about it, I didn’t feel like their stories actually ended there. It really does feel like Kang-doo and Moon-soo, and everyone else including Seo Joo-won, Jung Yoo-jin, Jung Yoo-taek, Ma-ri, Moon-soo’s mother, and Sang-man, too, are still living their lives somewhere far away from me right now in this moment. And to me, that was magical. Because whenever I finish a drama, especially a good one, I always felt extremely empty after its end. The withdrawal symptoms from amazing dramas are one of the hardest withdrawals to cope with. But after 그 사이, I of course felt regretful that it was over so fast, but I didn’t necessarily long to keep watching more and more, which probably sounds very odd, and maybe even bad.

But, no. Simply put, the way 그 사이 chose to wrap up these intricate storylines made everything feel overwhelmingly realistic. It wasn’t the ending of a story, but more like the closing of the curtains, the turning off of the cameras, and the end of the audience’s privileged priviness to their lives thus far. But the characters themselves, it didn’t feel like their stories ended anywhere close to there. I firmly feel like they are continuing. Just continuing.

How this drama managed to pull off such a clean finale, is something I will save to think about later. I know I am hopping around all over the place right now, but I felt that my post-finale thoughts had to be recorded promptly, before they drifted from me. Now, I want to back it up all the way to the end, to even before 그 사이 began to air. Oh, how grateful and glad I am to have noticed its uniqueness even prior to its actual premier. Of course, I didn’t exactly expect it to nearly change a part of me, but I had the slightest, really, just oh-so slightest inclination that this drama might contain all the elements that my heart has been searching for for so long.

After years of watching kdramas, one’s standards begin to naturally rise, and by today, I am definitely very picky with what I consider a “good” drama. Granted, everyone’s preferences are subjective, and my very own may be more specific than others’, but if anything, that probably enabled 그 사이 to rise in ranks faster than I ever expected.

Just from its posters, 그 사이 exuded a sort of ethereal calamity that most dramas don’t really go for these days. Everyone associated 그 사이 with the word “melo”. I am not sure if I completely agree with that description, because like the word “kdrama”, labeling 그 사이 as “melo” seems to undermine its value in a negative way. Melos have a stigma for being slow paced, dragged out, over-dramatic, and tear-filled for more than half the series. The most “melo” part of 그 사이 is the fact that its pace is definitely calmer; it didn’t rush into events and plot twists. But that is, in no way, a bad part of it. I will get back to its elements later. But trust me, slow added a gorgeous feat to 그 사이.

Going back to what I mentioned about the posters, specifically the one above, it felt like a movie. I had mentioned this to my friend, but upon watching the teasers and scrolling through a few images, the biggest thing that piqued my interest was that “it seriously looks like a movie!!!!”. Now, what I mean by “a movie” might sound pretty lame. However, personally, I am not a frequent moviegoer. In fact, I am barely a moviegoer at all. This is because I always felt overwhelmed by the end of movies, regardless of the genre. Movies were always so concise, impactful, and had the ability to leave a really strong, lasting impression within a really short amount of time. That sort of stuff always threw me off; it was just always too much for my brain to handle. Dramas and shows on the other hand, are way more subtle. I get to wean myself into the emotions and storylines, and there is an added level of depth simply due to the fact that they are longer than just an hour and a half or so.

And so, with 그 사이 giving me movie vibes, meant that I felt like it had plenty of room to hit me like a truck and leave me with a few scars, while at the same time, playing itself out as a 16-episode series. The prominent usage of cool colors, mellowed-down instrumental tones, wistful voiceovers, and a cityscape that wasn’t your classic, bright uptown Seoul, but instead a somber yet colorful Busan, all left a very strong, but refreshing first impression on me. It really looked like a movie. Its feats and details looked grand from the get go. It meant that I had a gut feeling that this show was really, seriously, going to move me. And it truly did. 

initialization & continuation--

The very first episode, like most first episodes, introduced us to the one thing that this entire series basically revolves around: the mall collapse accident. I don’t want to exactly recap what the first few episodes were about, but more of what stood out to me that made 그 사이 feel much more special than anything else out there so far.

Moon-soo is a hard worker, balancing a lowkey, blue-collared “job” for her family, as well as working as a designer. Aside from the maybe flawed balance of “work” she has going on, 그 사이 decides to show us the mundane parts, too. Clips of her scrubbing the walls, sweeping the floors, building paper models, simply going about the daily rounds in her life. The initial portrayal of Moon-soo accomplished something that many dramas cannot really pull off, and that is that Moon-soo is just like you and me. Maybe not in the same exact occupational way, but she wakes up in the morning, maybe restlessly, maybe a little bit miserably, she does the things she needs to do, she tends to her responsibilities, and she simply carries on her with life. Of course, not everyone can relate to her on an emotional level, but in a way, we can relate to carrying on with our days no matter how hard it gets. We can see that Moon-soo isn’t that happiest soul in the world, but she isn’t oversensitive and extra mopey, either. She reflects a part of us that we can empathize with, to varying degrees.

The most prominent thing that I initially noticed about Kang-doo was his sharp tongue and the fact that he was always getting beat up and walking around with scars and blood stains. At first glance, many would probably assume that he was your classic, reckless bad boy that doesn’t give two shits about the world. And to an extent, that is true. However, we are also fully aware of the kind of ordeals he has gone through, and we could, or at least I could, sort of feel this underlying pain that he carries around within himself. The eternal scars that Kang-doo carries within himself still haunt me to this day. I can’t even begin to fathom, how hard it must be, to carry so much trauma within one’s own mind. I can’t even imagine how hard it must be to have your father die in an accident, to have been buried beneath rubble for 7 days, to have been stuck with a dead body, to have watched him die, to have your mother die promptly afterwards, to legitimately have schizophrenia due to the all these ordeals combined. In short, Kang-doo is fucked up in ways unimaginable to a normal person, but he hides it all away behind his cold eyes in a heavy layer of bruteness and disregard. From the very beginning, I could feel that Kang-doo’s character has so much complexity, to a point where I couldn’t even comprehend how deep the series would choose to dig out from him. I was excited, but at the same time, apprehensive to watch his story unfold. I knew I had to prepare myself for some massive waterworks. This, in itself, was something a drama had never presented to me with before. 그 사이, I could tell, would not be your cliche kind of romance story.

Even the opening, since the very first episode when I saw it, it pulled at something deeper than anything else. It is comprised of still frames of tragic accidents or sites of rubble and such. It is haunting for an opening and it definitely left a huge impression on me. It established a heavy aura that rarely any dramas dare to take on. 

Another random but poignant point that stuck with me was the scene in which Halmoni was smoking, and she passes the cigarette to Kang-doo, who also takes a puff. We only see the back of their figures as they sit on swings, but when they turn their faces to the side, we can clearly see that it is the actors themselves smoking, and not some sort of lookalikes. This left a lasting impression because it almost felt shocking, to watch Jun-ho of 2PM smoke so blatantly like that. Korean media always heavily censors these kinds of things, even if it’s ingrained into their culture like smoking sort of is. Watching him smoke felt kind of scary, in a good way. It felt real, that yes, even someone who is a top idol that sings and dances and has to maintain some sort of pretty image 24/7, can and will smoke. So fun fact: kpop idols are humans, too!

The other characters as well, Wan-jin and Sang-man and Moon-soo’s mom, and Seo Joo-won, Jung Yoo-jin, Ma-ri and Jung Yoo-taek, and Halmeoni played their own special, but very symbolic role as 그 사이 progressed.

Since our introduction to Sang-man, we can get the gist that he is “not normal”. Once again, at first glance, Sang-man looks like a guy who is mentally slower than everyone else. But with time, we get to learn how much more mature he actually is than the rest of our crew, in his own special kind of way. Some of his simplest lines hit the deepest, and although he wasn't exactly my all-time favorite character, I can safely say that he was a hidden gem amongst this web of characters. He is extremely precious, and he shows the audience a beautiful side to being mentally “different”. 

Then, we have Wan-jin who contributes to 그 사이 as a figure of immense support for Moon-soo. They share a friendship through their hardships and that in itself resonated really well with me. Throughout this series, we get to see small snippets of how the disabled are disadvantaged and disrespected, too. There is one scene that stands out to me, which is when Wan-jin tells her assistant (idr his name) that she doesn’t want his pity, but she simply wants to be treated like human, like everyone else. Because she is no less a person than anyone else is.

Even Ma-ri, head of the karaoke place that essentially “sells” girls for their presence: at first glance, she is your classic, rich, and manipulative female figure. But underneath that layer of presumable impurity, she is actually the victim of sexual abuse who has worked her way to her place and owes her life to the bravery of Kang-doo himself.

Furthermore, Moon-soo’s mother is more than a lamenting mother who has lost a child, but she is in particular, an alcoholic. Her relationship with her husband has gone sour and she barely manages to hang onto her sanity with the help of soju and Moon-soo by her side. Her mother portrays the agony of a child’s death in such a surreal way, that it only felt right for her to not be okay, in every way possible. She was a complete mess, but rightfully so. Her battle with alcohol didn’t end as just an unsolved addiction, but we were even able to see her enter rehab and conquer herself from within at the end of the drama.

Halmeoni played such an immensely pivotal role in this story. Her words of wisdom sat with viewers even weeks after she said them on screen. One of my personal favorites is “Just because someone is yelling louder doesn’t mean that they are hurting more”. Halmeoni played a sort of role that was like a guardian angel, who was present to give all that she could, until her own time was up. Her sharp tongue and snarky attitude made her likable in the most unique of ways. Because in the end, she was always sort of right. One of the hardest hitting things that Halmeoni talked about was when she was scolding Kang-doo’s sister, saying that it isn’t cigarettes nor cancer nor car accidents nor drugs that kill people. It is poverty. Because a lot of the times, poverty pushes people into these situations. And especially so, it is those in poverty that don’t have the resources to help themselves, in which they are left helpless to die. Halmeoni preached to viewers that poverty is the number one killer of humans. Her departure from the lives of our characters, and particularly Kang-doo’s, left a void that was meant for filling. I will never get over this, but I absolutely love how the show decided to handle her death. We didn’t see any funeral procession or all-black attire or wreaths or a nicely framed portrait. We just saw the aftermath, the broken pieces of Kang-doo and others, and we get to see how they pick themselves back up from all of it. It was a work of art, and it hit much, much, much more deeper than showing us the explicit parts.

All these supporting characters surrounding Moon-soo and Kang-doo indirectly dealt with things like mental health, people with disabilities, sexual assault, poverty, and even alcohol abuse. Aside from the obvious central theme of post-traumatic stress and remembering the forgotten, 그 사이 decided to touch upon these seemingly subtle, but very sensitive topics as well. All these characters were messed up or struggling in some sort of very real way. And it was so, so well done.

The next thing that I absolutely loved about 그 사이 was the progression of Kang-doo and Moon-soo’s relationship. It was simply drawn out so gorgeously. Of course, their fate began in a cliche sort of way, through the accident in which they both lost a loved one. However, this fact was only apparent to Kang-doo for a significant part of their progression. Moon-soo’s inability to remember the bits and pieces of the accident are compensated for through Kang-doo’s haunting ability to recall every miniscule detail, to an extent where he is mentally unstable. Time and time again, Kang-doo asks Moon-soo, what is the point of both of them suffering when only one needs to? This question was raised more than once during 그 사이 and I came to appreciate a sort of two-sided beauty to it. The fact is that, Kang-doo didn’t want another loved one to suffer, but Moon-soo didn’t want Kang-doo to suffer alone. Is it better to suffer alone and hold all the pain in? Or should you share the burden because it may be too much for one to handle alone? This is a dilemma that I resonate with in terms of my very own friends and loved ones. It is a question that we have all asked ourselves at one point. And it is a question that was at the forefront of Kang-doo and Moon-soo’s relationship.

Another thing with these two is that they came to love each other flawlessly. Although this came up before during Joo-won and Kang-doo’s conversation, when Moon-soo asks why Kang-doo loves her, he says “그냥” (just because). And that my friend, was the end of me. The End.

Of course, this definitely was not the only scene in which I cried, but it sure did release a flood of some sort. When posed with this question, the leads of many dramas don’t always list out amazing features of their significant other or anything, and they even say the similar things along the lines of “Do I even need a reason?”. But a one word answer, spoken so genuinely, so lovingly from someone who has gone through so goddamn much, has so much more meaning than a paragraph or an essay or even a book about how much he loves Moon-soo. It hits deeper than mundanely loving someone because they are pretty or accomplished or an amazing person. It touches upon a sort of love that only them two can feel and possess. Only them two, and no one else, will ever understand. And the feeling that this one-word description gave me, was one of a sort of invasion. I felt like I was intruding on something so precious and dear, the fact that Kang-doo spoke “그냥” in itself already felt like much, much more than I already should be allowed to know. I felt like anything further said would just tarnish the beauty of it all. That is simply how real and stunning their affection for each other felt.

Another point that many others could probably agree with is how their physical interactions exuded overwhelming chemistry out of the simplest actions. All they did was hold hands for a really, long freaking time, but it felt a million times deeper than just hand holding. Even when the two finally kissed, there was nothing extravagant about it. The two just genuinely wanted to be with each other. And that was enough. In fact, it was more than enough. I probably sound like a broken record by now, but these two felt so natural and organic together that I almost felt like I didn’t deserve to watch them be so cute and coupley and just in love. The surrealism was overwhelming and it is something that could only come about from stellar writing, and of course, the performances of Lee Jun-ho and Won Jin-ah.

Jun-ho absolutely blew me away. Watching him progress through this drama made me fall for him, hard. Honestly, I sort of want to not even talk about the fact that he is also an idol, too, because the stigma of idol-actors has no place in this drama. Jun-ho literally made himself into this person. Usually, when actors play a significant role, and even when they pull it off really well, I still tend to associate the actor himself with that one character, not in a bad way, but as a form of infatuation (e.g. Ryu Jun-yeol as Kim Jung-hwan in ‘88). Not to say that seeing that actor only reminds me of that one character, but more like, I always tend to see flecks of the character that I can never fully shake off no matter how hard I try.

But for Jun-ho as Kang-doo, this is not the case. I can separate the two, very clearly, too. Of course, as a person, they have completely different personalities and such, but its the fact that I can see Kang-doo existing in this world as well as Jun-ho the actor, idol, and human, too. Because that’s just how well he played it. And don’t even get me started on how multi-talented Jun-ho is as a person in real life, too. The fact that he can dance and sing super fucking well (with countless solo songs and albums to call his own) further blows my mind and raises him up to the top ranks of my favorite actors. There is nothing this guy can’t do. And I just want to mention, he isn’t particularly handsome or anything. To me, it is endless charms and abilities that make Jun-ho such a likable guy. I am absolutely proud to have watched him grow thus far.

As for Won Jin-ah, it was already hyped from the beginning that she was chosen out of “120 auditions” which is indeed a big feat, but I think just further adds to her credibility as an outstanding actress. She has such natural features of expression, and of course, that pure, innocent kind of vibe that is commonly taken for granted among actresses. I am going to be honest here, I am not as good at dissecting female performances compared to male performances, mostly because I am a female myself, but Won Jin-ah fit Moon-soo so well that I truly can’t see her as anyone else. I know that that kind of saying is a bit overused for many characters played by certain actors, but I truly do mean it in the same way I talked about Jun-ho as Kang-doo. She made herself into Moon-soo, in which I can firmly believe there is a Ha Moon-soo somewhere out there working at her mother’s bathhouse and making models, while there is also the actress Won Jin-ah doing her job.

It is just stunning, how intricate and detailed these characters were, and how well they came to life on screen. I can’t get over it, I just really can’t. If I daresay, it was almost as if I was watching a documentary. These two were that real together. It was heartbreakingly beautiful.

Which takes me into the angst realm of 그 사이. Many, many commenters of this drama mentioned how heavy it was, and how it was difficult to watch during hard times and such. But for me, although I admit I am a total sucker for dark and depressing shows anyway, its heaviness weighed me down in all the right ways. It tugged at the right corners of my heart, to a point where for the first time ever, I literally bawled my eyes out because of something beautiful.

It is pretty hard to explain, how I felt as I watched their lives unfold. The most prominent feeling, of course, was sadness and pain for when the characters themselves were in pain. Sometimes, I could feel the pain physically in my chest, and I wished until the end of the world that everything could be okay. But at the same time, when things just seemed to happen at the right moments in time, when their fingers seemed to intertwine at all the perfect angles, I weeped like there was no tomorrow because have you ever seen a couple so beautiful before? I haven’t, I really haven’t.

Anything that heals must have been hurt before, too. And that is Kang-doo and Moon-soo. They provide each other with a sort of healing that only they can feel and understand. While one radiates pain and suffering, the other absorbs it all and folds it with love into the layers that is their relationship. I agree to an extent that their occasional back-and-forth-ness got a little bit out of hand, but I also see it is as a sort of apprehensiveness. That these two loved each other so much, that they wanted to avoid hurting the other in any way possible.

So as much as their agony from the unfortunate events in their lives caused, and as much as they cried themselves, I cried along with them, the entire way through. And when there were those small, gorgeous moments of the light shining through the cracks for just a little while, I still cried. Mundane moments reflected something so much deeper than any viewer can feel on their own accord. Crying a shit ton during a show probably sounds like a negative thing, but for me, it simply shows me how much 그 사이 moved me. It moved my soul to peer into places deeper than the deepest places of my imagination. Even when I was simply walking to class in the middle of the day, I got choked up just thinking about Kang-doo and Moon-soo and how everything might unfold before them, for better or for worse.

Everything that happened between Kang-doo and Moon-soo felt so raw with emotion. Each line spoken to each other was purposeful and wistful. There really never was a dull moment between the two. The way in which some of the scenes were shot, the camera would shake in the slightest. It made it all look so brutally realistic, as if we were really there, privy to their thoughts and secrets and feelings.

그 사이 literally took over my life for the weeks that it was airing, and although this obsessive enthusiasm wasn’t exactly new to me (Healer & Reply ‘88 both accomplished this), it pushed me to ask why this show had the ability to do so. I honestly don’t think words alone will ever fully be enough to explain all of the pure beauty in 그 사이, but words are all I have at my expense.

silhouettes & hands & ice cream & carrots--

These are the small things that made this drama all the more ethereal. The cinematography and the way the sunlight hit the camera at certain angles, it literally printed itself onto my brain. These frames were magnificent and nearly struck a tear in my eye each time. The usage of silhouettes as well, was so, extremely well done here. I have no words.

One of the biggest things that also stood out significantly to me, although maybe not that big of a deal, but definitely worth a mention, was how well her hand fit into his. I have never felt such a swell of emotions through people simply holding hands. I swear to god, it is as if their hands were made for each other. Her hands are perfectly smaller than his, which means his covered them effortlessly. “You were born to be loved by me, right?” asks Kang-doo. Some of his lines were honestly so cringey, but Jun-ho pulled them off so well, they seriously sounded really natural to me. 100% cute and 0% corny.

And of course, the iconic ice creams. The fact that by the end of the drama, Moon-soo herself actually likes ice cream, too, can it get any cuter. To add to the cuteness, in real life, Jun-ho is ice cream obsessed, always posing with it, talking about it, even writing a song about it, and of course, eating it. I feel like the symbol of ice cream was sort of like Jun-ho’s piece to take from Kang-doo. It is like a part of him that he gave to his character, to fully make it his, but not exactly him.

The carrot is iconic because of the one line we can never forget. The line that Moon-soo meant, but didn’t really mean at the same time. The line that sputtered out of her mouth in a funny, exasperating way, but also in a meaningful, deeper, heartfelt way. Me too, Moon-soo, me too. I like a man that eats carrots, too.

thank yous & i love yous & geu sa-i--

This motif was quite a prominent one, but after thinking about it more, I started to realize the sort of message the writer and director were possibly trying to get at. The “i love you”s were touching and cute and everything, but the line(s) that got to me the most were not those three stereotypically monumental words, but it was the “thank you”s that cut deeper than most. How many dramas have you watched where the couple consistently thanked each other? And what kind of meaning did those thank yous hold? In 그 사이, Moon-soo and Kang-doo exchanged genuine, heartfelt thank yous.

The thing with these thank yous though, is that they have a multitude of meanings. “Thank you for picking me up today.” “Thank you for calling me.” “Thank you for being there for me.” “Thank you for loving me.” “Thank you for being you.” “Thank you for staying by my side.” “Thank you for being alive.” I could go on and on, but you get the point. These thank yous meant the universe to them, they relayed a sort of gratitude and passion and sentiment that only these two could feel and share. It all just felt so organic.

Next, I want to discuss the “trope” that 그 사이 utilized in which Kang-doo was fighting for his life towards the end of it all. This part was excruciatingly painful to watch, mostly because I honestly couldn’t tell how they were going to end it all. Nor could I really understand what sort of meaning each kind of ending could have. If they ended it happily ever after, why? And if not, what else were they trying to say? I just couldn’t tell.

Kang-doo was suffering from a failing liver, and I think it only made sense. From day one, he is depicted as reckless, especially towards his own body. A comment somewhere on Dramabeans stated it nicely: “Grandma kept telling him to stop taking [the painkillers] and to let his pain out instead, and with no granny to give him placebos, he ended up taking real, strong painkillers.” I feel like 그 사이 toyed with Kang-doo’s life as a sort of reality check, that shit goes on, no matter how good or bad everything seems to be turning out, shit still goes on. But by saving him, of course, maybe they are telling us that miracles really do exist. Most importantly, they don’t forget to remind us that these miracles may come at the expense of others’ own misfortunes.

And if anything, the dragging out of Kang-doo’s potential death left room for the supporting to characters to come out and shower Kang-doo with love. I can’t remember the quote exactly, but it was when the doctor asked Jae-young what kind of person her brother was, that so many random people were coming forward to readily donate a part of their liver as if it was no big deal. But Ma-ri countered wonderfully, that it is a serious decision to make, which is all the reason why it matters so much more. It was super duper heartwarming to see everyone try their best, in any way, to help Kang-doo and just have him live. I feel like giving us the most plausible hope of Sang-man specifically, was symbolic in which he, of all people, literally the most profound, but possibly most childish person out of our entire bunch, would be the one to save Kang-doo. But it also felt brutally realistic when they suddenly took him away as a donor because life just doesn’t get to work out perfectly like that all the time. But also with last-minute miracles, life kinda does tend to work out at the perfect times. Life is luck? Maybe.

But the ending scene, that goddamn, fucking gorgeous ending scene. I don’t even care if people whine all they want about how ending with a kiss scene is cliche and overrated, just leave me be to pick this one apart. In fact, the part that got me the most choked up wasn’t even the kiss itself (I mean, it partly was), but it was the dialogue, the eyes, the expressions, and the voiceover that got me wailing like a drowning beluga whale in the middle of the Atlantic ocean. Like smack dab in the middle. Wailing incessantly. That was me.

Because here is the thing. First off, we pan into a frame that overlooks the Busan cityscape as the sun is setting, the bright houses are subtly flashing their hues, the horizon is glowing all sorts of reds and blues and pinks and oranges and purples, and our couple’s silhouette is situated perfectly at the center of it all. Literally, just that still frame of that scene itself, took my breath away. Stunning cinematography at its finest. Moon-soo tells Kang-doo that she loves him, which we haven’t gotten a chance to hear after all the times he’s already told her the same. But here she says it and her eyes are literally glowing, and his eyes are peaceful yet joyous at the same time, the most comfortable, and just the most at-home I have ever seen them throughout the entire series. And then there is a really long pause with no dialogue, no sounds, no loud blowing, just a blank, subtle, empty noise, as he cradles her face which somehow just manages to fit perfectly into his hand, and then Kang-doo’s voice breaks through the ever-so-slightly prolonged silence, and he narrates “Moon-soo loves me”.

I will repeat that just in case you couldn’t read it above: “Moon-soo loves me”.

The impact that this one simple line had was massive, colossal, unimaginably poignant, and it hit me. Deep. This one line, I feel, gave validation to this entire show, to all our hours devoted to watching it, to the characters’ actions, and most importantly, to Kang-doo’s life. Throughout the entirety of 그 사이, he is literally battling for his life, not only physically at the end, but emotionally and mentally as well. He very much lacked that spark of purpose, the thing that made him live. Not to denounce his worth and say that now his life only boils down to Moon-soo’s love for him. It’s more like, she gives him another beginning. Kang-doo states this eloquently when talking with Seo Joo-won on the roof about why he loves her. “Just because”. He continues, “I was a man that could only live by the day. But after meeting her, I was curious about tomorrow”.

And so “Moon-soo loves me” is so pivotal in which Kang-doo has mostly, hopefully relieved himself of all the shit and guilt and trauma and struggles that he has been fighting from within, and all he needs in his life to keep going is Moon-soo’s love. This line is followed up with a “The fact that we are alive… it is a relief.” How fucking beautiful is that.

And now, this is where I can come full circle to the title of this drama, “그냥 사랑하는 사이”. The English of this has been commonly translated as “Just Between Lovers”, but as you can tell since the beginning of this composition, I do not prefer to use that title, for several reasons. The main one is that, well, sometimes there are things in other languages that you really just cannot translate. “그냥 사랑하는 사이” is one of them. The meaning that it has in Korean, the feelings and implications that it carries with it, simply cannot be translated into the English language. If I wanted to try, it would be something along the lines of “just your average, simple relationship between two people that love each other”. Which still sounds pretty stupid in English, but with those extra strands of meaning, and even more added depth, is what the Korean title holds. Also, for simplicity’s sake, Korean phrases tend to be condensed into acronym-like words. In this case though, “그냥 사랑하는 사이 (geu-nyang sa-rang-ha-neun sa-i)” as an acronym-ish kind of word is simply “그 사이 (geu sa-i)” in which the “냥 (nyang)” and “사랑하는” (meaning “loving”) are removed to now signify something along the lines of literally: “that relationship” or “a relationship”. “그” is used as sort of an article, I guess, meaning “that” or “a”, or basically anything not really specific like his or hers or yours. **I have never learned Korean formally, and everything I’m saying is legitimately self-taught, so please don’t quote me on any of this, but I am just trying to get my point across as best as I can LOL** This all boils down to how, to me, “그 사이” is so simple yet touching and moving and so full of meaning, that it has this sort of immense, hidden beauty to it. Not only is it, in this case, a shortened version of “그냥 사랑하는 사이”, but “그 사이” as a phrase in any context is seemingly mundane, but carries so much more than meets the eye.

Just like, you know, a relationship. But not actually. The love part sounds simple enough, and it is. They love. But how they came to love, what it means to them, contains a meaning so deep and intricate that, maybe, just to make things easier and to even preserve its profound beauty that we will never understand, we will leave it as... just a relationship.

And I find that incredibly moving. I am struggling right now, to type down my feelings, but I hope that it is working to an extent. For the first time ever, a drama’s title actually seemed to fit, in less of a relevancy sort of way, but in much more of a meaningful, heartfelt way. The title of this drama is so short, so plain, almost boring-sounding, but it encompassed so much more than that. It encompassed an entire, full relationship of two people that come to love, or even more than love, but live, through pain and deaths and guilt and hardships and tears and growth and interdependence, and just each other.

There is an infinite amount of complexity hidden within the seemingly thin and obvious layers of  그 사이, and I think this is what is at the center of its ethereal beauty as a show for viewers to absorb. The words behind the characters’ actions and the events that occur carry immaculate weight, that it makes you question things, maybe even about your own life. This is a sort of art that I have never, ever seen a show demonstrate, and it completely took my breath away. It left a million pieces of my heart shattered on the floor. I literally feel like my life has changed, even if just a little bit.

Which now brings me to the things that this show wanted to tell the audience. When commenting about 그 사이, many people tended to say something along the lines of “It had great messages, it was so deep, etc.” and yes, I agree with that, too. But nowhere did anyone actually say what those messages were. I feel like there is an infinite number of lessons 그 사이 wanted to teach us, but I’ll try to point out the more noticeable ones first.

think about this--

Remember the forgotten.

Awareness is one of the strongest forces, because knowledge is power. I feel that, amidst people’s ordinary lives, we sometimes forget to remember those who simply never had a chance to live. We all live so voraciously and fervently, but it is important to be aware of that fervor that couldn’t be. Some people questioned the intent of leaving out the final product of the memorial that our two leads were working so hard on throughout the entire show. One commentator wrote simply: "In a way, it gave cadence to the idea that the memorial wasn't for the public or even us as the viewers. It belongs to the victims and the survivors of the tragedy." Very well articulated. Nothing more is needed.

Poverty kills.

I touched upon this one a little bit in the above text, but here, I’m just going to lay down Halmeoni’s entire spiel because no could have said it better than her.

Mental trauma is in its own way, more painful than any physical sort of pain.

Jun-ho demonstrates this so hauntingly and beautifully through his acting as the broken Kang-doo. In an interview that Jun-ho had after wrapping up filming, he says, "I didn't know what these people thought. It's something you won't know if you haven't been through it. You have to experience pain to know what it feels like. So I didn't even dare to try to understand them. I just used my own method of shutting myself away”. So much personal heart and character lies within those words, making his performance even more credible and noteworthy. Here is a line from the wise ol’ Halmeoni that hits pretty deep.

Never take life for granted.

I feel like this sort of message has such redundancy and insensibility in common-day life, but it is a reality that 그 사이 brings to life gorgeously. These characters are struggling in the depths of their own despair on a daily basis. But in the end, we get to see them prevail in some sort of way, with the help of each other’s sheer existence. In the same interview, Jun-ho says, “You don't take things for granted. Every little thing from the sun and wind, is important.” It is so poignant, to see the actor himself connect so deeply with the plot and depth of the story itself. The ending scene of 그 사이 paints this message in the air and the wind, from Kang-doo’s very own voiceover. He says, “Because we survived… it’s a relief”. And that’s it. That concludes the entirety of 그 사이. What huge punch to the guts that line was. It was so bold, heart-rendering, and just true. It was true, that the simple fact that we are living our own lives, sad or happy, good or bad, pain or not, we are alive, and that is all that matters in the end.

words & frames--

In addition, I want to include a few more lines (that are conveniently included within the beautiful OST MVs produced by El Music Studio) that struck huge cracks into my soul as they were spoken aloud on screen. Honestly, these lines sound much better in Korean because there is a sort of depth that an English translation isn’t able to capture, but that is okay. English will just have to do.

“Misery is just... being miserable.”

“Looking down from such a high place like this, people don’t really look like people anymore, do they?”

“Just because they are crying more loudly doesn’t mean that they are hurting more.”

“Him distancing himself that much shows how much he actually cherishes you.”

“And so, more than anyone else... we must be happier.”

An extra note about the OSTs: none of them stood out enough for me to add to my music library, not even Jun-ho’s very own (as much I love his gorgeous voice). However, I can confidently say that they added a haunting effect to many of the scenes and portrayals throughout the show. All the voices and quiet, heart-tugging melodies that meadered its way between the dialogue and echoes, created some intense emotions that probably would’ve been empty otherwise.

noticeable hair-growth & flaws & final wrap up--

One of the things that I really came to notice by the end of this show was that the characters’ hair had grown significantly. I mean, this is a given. Hair grows over time. Duh. But aside from the fact that it’s an obvious naturality. I found to love how it added to the realism in 그 사이. The fact that by the last episode, Jung Yoo-jin’s hair was almost reaching her shoulders, Seo Joo-won’s was creeping towards his neck, Moon-soo grew out her bangs and swept it to the side, and Kang-doo’s covered his eyes a little more than usual, was just a touching sight to take in. Look how human they are! Their hair grew properly, following the time sequence of the series itself. How beautiful is that. It’s such a subtle, minor detail, but to me, it really stood out as an aesthetic touch to its already-brimming-with-reality depiction that 그 사이 establishes.

I could be biased here, but I want to say that 그 사이’s biggest fault was that it used supporting characters like Seo Joo-won and Jung Yoo-jin. Not to say that their roles were completely useless or detrimental to the plot, but more like, their roles were underdone amidst the medley of such a strong leading pair mixed with the other complex, unique supporting figures. Although Jung Yoo-jin thankfully did not play your classic, snooty second female lead vying for the main man, Seo Joo-won very much fell under this category, in his own male-ish sort of way. I honestly did not really appreciate some of his actions and words. I felt like his character was lacking the depth and charm that the rest of the cast hones in on so well. The writers really could have given more to work with, but with such bland lines and cliche intentions, I just couldn’t find myself warming up to him. Aside from parts of Joo-won’s incompleteness as a character, I guess another flaw could be the classic kdrama tropes 그 사이 utilized. As minimal as they were, some were there regardless. The wrist grab, the mid-fall waist catch, the eavesdropping behind a wall, and all of that cliche mush you could find in 1897957 other kdramas, were definitely present in 그 사이. But whatever. It was fucking beautiful anyway.

Finally, I want to address the last part of this clean finale that 그 사이 managed with ease. In particular, it was the montage of the familiar locations that we have gotten to see since the beginning. Externally, it looked plain and a little bit sad and empty. But I feel like these stills offered us so much, because these locations were more than places that our characters frequented, but they are perpetual within their spaces of time. These places, those sort of “places that you can always go back to no matter what happens”. Places of rest, of heart, of everything else that has and could happen. At this point I’m basically just rambling, but my point is that. It was breathtaking.

Also, let us just take some time to appreciate these real Busan visuals. 

To anyone that has read this far by now… Wow. Just so you know, you have read through an entire 5-month journey with my thoughts LOL. It is almost May now and my life has been too much of a mess for me to be able to post this within one sitting.

Many days have passed since I last finished this drama and wiped my tears off my face and blew my nose into a soggy tissue and gazed awestruck into the beautiful skyline on my laptop screen. But my feelings remain the same, and this series has held such a special place in my heart. When talking about Korean dramas with friends or acquaintances I try to sound nonchalant about 그 사이. Because, you know, it was just that one show that lowkey changed my life. 그 사이 made me feel things and taught me things and provoked thoughts that no other show ever has in my life. I really could care less about what the general public had to say about 그 사이. I just know, I loved it with all my heart and soul. Thank you for everything, 그 사이.

[pauls4thoughts]

‘Parasite’ review – a gasp-inducing masterpiece

The ideal way to experience South Korean auteur Bong Joon-ho’s awards-garlanded, international box-office smash ‘Parasite’ is with as little prior knowledge as possible. It really is the kind of remarkable experience that makes modern movie going such a joy.

It defies any easy pigeonhole, wriggles free from slotting into a single genre, can be considered both a mainstream crowd pleaser and an arthouse masterpiece.

We first meet the Kim family, headed by father Ki-taek (Song Kang-ho) and mother Chung-sook (Chang Hyae-jin), in their lowly semi-basement home, hunting for stray wi-fi coverage and leaving their windows open to benefit from bug-killing street fumigation.

When son Ki-woo (Choi Woo-shik) is faced with an unexpected opportunity to home-tutor a rich schoolgirl, he gets his gifted artist sister, Ki-jung (Park So-dam), to forge a college certificate, bluffing his way into the job and into the home of the Park family.

He shows up at their fabulously lavish home, wealthy entrepreneur Mr Park (Lee Sun-kyun), his delicate, unworldly wife, Yeon-kyo (Cho Yeo-jeong), their teen daughter, Da-hye (Jung Ziso) and her wacky kid brother, Da-song (Jung Hyeon-jun).

It looks as if the wealthy Parks could be a meal ticket for the whole crooked family, all pretending to be complete strangers to each other. But little-kid Da-song has noticed something that the grownups haven’t: why do these people smell the same?

The Kim family may live in sewage-flooded squalor, but they are clearly every bit as smart as, and a lot more united than, the Parks, who turn their noses up at the smell of “people who ride the subway”. Similarly, while the smug Mr Park is habitually depicted ascending the stairs of his ultra-modern home, and the Kims are pictured scampering down city steps to their own underworld apartment, it’s clear who holds the dramatic high ground.

When it comes to deception, too, those on the upper rungs of the societal ladder are as practised as those upon whom they look down. In a world of vertical non-integration, 'Parasite’ finds gasp-inducing depths lurking beneath even the most apparently placid surfaces.

For me, 'Parasite’ is best described as a melancholy ghost story, albeit one disguised beneath umpteen layers of superbly designed and impeccably photographed generic mutations.

Thrillingly played by a flawless ensemble cast who hit every note and harmonic resonance of Bong and co-writer Han Jin-won’s multitonal script, it’s a tragicomic masterclass that will get under your skin and eat away at your cinematic soul.

A miracle of a film. It feels like Bong Joon-ho’s already extraordinary career has been building to this: a riotous social satire that’s as gloriously entertaining as it is deeply sardonic.

The poorer family see themselves in a distorting mirror that cruelly reveals to them how wretched they are by contrast and reveals the riches that could - and should - be theirs.

You’ve never seen a movie quite like 'Parasite.’ This time it’s true. It is almost a supernatural story; an invasion of the lifestyle snatchers. 'Parasite’ gets its tendrils into you. Not to be missed.

[woonietune]

Whose fault was it that Woon killed himself?

Although I believe they’re not, the reasons seem to be a series of misunderstandings and the fucked-up destiny that Dong-soo didn’t believe in---the gisaeng who was only trying to protect Woon (someone she didn’t understand and whose love for his friends she probably resented), the assassins of Heuksa Chorong who were trying to kill the man (Cho-rip) who they believed was trying to kill their beloved boss, and then Dong-soo not showing up in time. Dong soo, who wanted to protect everyone and who believed in the letter of justice--remember he chided Woonie for trying to kill Hong when everyone knew Hong was the cause of everything--yes, killing Hong would have made Woon get in serious trouble but it was a short-cut to saving hundreds of lives? Dong-soo was all about protecting people, but he also believed in Woon, believed everything he said, and he was fresh from Cho-rip telling him just that. He believed Woon’s lie about hurting Cho-rip.  Dong-soo, in his innocence and faith in Woon, only contradicted Woon on the point of destiny not being real and always was supportive of Woon--he never contradicted Woon when Woon listed his own sins. Even when Woon perpetuated Chun’s pattern of lying--such as taking the blame for killing the boys camp commander and Crown Prince Sado, when Dong-soo had seen Chun kill the former with his own eyes and even said on the spot at Crown Prince Sado’s murder to Chun “so you’re the one responsible for this.” Dong-soo knew who was truly behind all the evil at Heuksa Chorong. He knew... and yet could not kill Chun when given the chance to fight him. Dong-soo was young; I don’t blame him--he was the best swordsman in all Joseon, but had he truly mastered the Living Sword? There was so much he didn’t know-and he didn’t know because Woon hadn’t told him. If Woon had only told him half his story, would Dong-soo have killed Chun the night of that fight? Even Gwang-taek had regrets about not killing sometimes

I’m not sure of the extent of Dong-soo’s unwillingness to kill, but we all saw what Dong-soo did in order to save the Prince Heir (try to cut off Woon’s own head in that spectacular stunt when Woon leans back on his horse in that fake attempt to kill the Prince Heir) and all he did to protect Ji-sun; Dong-soo was learning the power of his own sword, Had the matter involved Woon, had the matter involved knowing the extent to which Chun had played in manipulating Woon, would Dong-soo have dealt a fatal blow?  I’m still not sure. It may not have been in Dong-soo’s character; even in the series final battle, Dong-soo could not muster the courage to stab Woon, who presented a good argument for Dong-soo’s doing so--and called himself a state criminal. And in any event, Dong-soo’s killing Chun would not have worked in the tragic narrative the script was trying to tell....

Yes, it was after that fight that Woon rushed Dong-soo and gave him his best shot---tried to kill him in a scene that surprised everyone. IF DONG-SOO COULD NOT DO HIS JOB then after that riveting scene where Dong-soo effectively blocks Woon’s blade, Woon would kill Chun. He said he would become an assassin. It was the only time in the entire series he was fully committed to becoming one. Because who did he have to kill? His own abuser, the person who had abused Ji-sun, killed Woon’s own father, and DESPITE his apparent admitting his own sins to Woon, was still guilty. And what had Chun told Woon long ago? In order to become an assassin, one must kill one’s most beloved person. So Dong-soo rushed Woon with “my best move”--and yes, he probably knew Dong-soo would block it, but he needed to do it. And he held onto Dong-soo  longer than he needed to, in what to audiences was a clear embrace, and whispered words into his ear that in what for all intents and purposes was a lover-like gesture (argue that and much of PanAsia will argue back). Woon’s most precious person was Dong-soo.

When Woon was on his knees after delivering a fatal blow to Chun, who did Woon say he would give up being an assassin for? For whom would Woon change his life? Not Ji-sun (he had told Hong “that woman’s life is my life,” and Hong had promptly called out that lie). Not Chun himself, although Chun had told Woon twice not to follow his path of woe and killing--ha, Chun’s programming Woon was too deep, as I’ll explain later. Woon was on his knees, swearing he would change his life, and he did. He did keep his promise that he would throw away the life of an assassin.  “I will forsake it all, Dong-soo-yah.” Woon changed his life for Dong-soo.

Not that Woon had ever done a very good job of being an assassin. He’d merely identified as one, accepted the position as one, and allowed others to believe he was one. He did carry out assassin assignments, but he’d tried to heal the first people he’d been assigned to kill and had tried to protect so many others along the way. He didn’t like the job and said as much that he wanted to return to live with Dong-soo. But he’d faithfully remained a servant of Heuksa Chorong when he could’ve easily escaped under Gwang-taek or Dong-soo’s protection. He believed that he couldn’t leave--he bought that lie, hook, line and sinker from Chun, and he would not let anyone else protect him.

It was Woon who fought to protect himself (he never allowed Dong-soo, for all those proclamations of protection, to save him), and it was Woon, whose political machinations, in a match for Dong-soo’s physical strength, helped stopped the internal political coup against the Prince Heir that fateful historical day. Woon redeemed himself. As it should have been. That’s what makes a hero. Woon was never a simpering maiden like Ji-sun (who I disliked---Jin-joo fought for herself and saved Dong-soo and others countless times--it bothers me that both women in the script wielded weapons but both were discouraged against fighting and the former was even denied emotional independence from Dong-soo). I can’t blame Dong-soo for not saving Woon. That job was supposed to be Woon’s if Woon was ever to be a truly redeemed and healthy person.

And even after Dong-soo’s speech on the wharf, where Dong-soo had said there is no destiny, after he had convinced Ji-sun that one makes one’s own destiny, and had told Woon “I don’t bow to destiny like you,” Dong-soo did not protect Woon from Chun, who still haunted Woon. So Woon went out  to kill Chun---no reason to do that, really. The man was effectively no longer the leader of the guild, had really resigned his post to Woon, was a broken man after Ga-ok’s death, and had no one to fight after Gwang taek’s death.

And Woon stabbed Chun and dealt him a fatal blow. The narrative has Chun limp away and actually be killed by state enemy arrows while saving Jin-joo in an echo of a redemption, but the truth is, he was never a father, and the damage he had already inflicted on Ga-ok and the death-path he set up for Woon were sins he couldn’t change with his feelings for a girl he thought for a moment could have been his own daughter, who WAS the daughter of the woman he had loved and lost, albeit a daughter by his rival (a man he regretted killing--maybe because then there was no more “fun” as Chun called it? Who knows? The man lied so much all his life, I find it difficult to believe much of his regrets at the end, only his suffering and loneliness). Chun may have been a different person had he made different choices in his life. If with all his talent and swordsmanship had chosen to leave the guild with Ga-ok and have a family, or dissolve it like Woon later did--but no, like Ga-ok said, he loved dominating people too much. He drank too much. He wanted to fight Gwang-taek too much. He mind-fucked a little boy, and set off a time bomb in him, lying to him for years, that would go off a decade later.

Chun was, what we would call in these days, a classic narcissistic abuser. What would be called in those days, a man taking advantage of his privilege and his power. Although, come to think of it--that’s a man common as the grasses in the field these days too. And given what the statistics are for child-rape in my own country and in this century, back then, when there were no laws to protect them, when it was open-season on those not powerful and male, I have no doubt that the writer intended Chun, who was way too touchy-feely with Woon, raped Woon as a child. I know many people in the WBDS fandom won’t go that far. Oh, maybe the scene suggested that Chun “felt” Woon’s killer rage when Woon walked by him on the path that day as a 12 yr old. Maybe Chun knew that Woon was the son of someone who had made a blood-vow with Gwang-taek, the Yeo Cho-sang who had once been a worthy fighter even if he was a village drunk now--but why the interest in the child that moment? Woon was simply walking down the road. Chun asked Woon his name so he DIDN’T know for sure that Woon was Cho-sang’s son. Even so, is swordsmanship hereditary? Chun looked Woon up and down. He had no evidence Woon could fight and would make a good assassin. He touched a boy’s hair, showed uncharacteristic paternal affection he would not show later--although he remained touchy-feely. With a pretty 12-year old he had hunted down like a rabbit.

And he would lie, lie, lie to the boy and play mind games with him like a classic narcissist who loved power and dominance.

How Woon recalls the memories he blocked out is typical of victims of abuse and one of the devices used very well in a script that is far from perfect (although memorable because of many reasons--the characters, the fighting scenes, the poetic parallels, the stunning outdoor shots, the ton of money poured into production, the standard K-drama emotion-range of love and tragedy being extra intense). Woon recalls bits over a period of 10 years, doesn’t know the truth until Chun tells him that it was Chun himself who murdered his father, and may not remember the whole truth- until the day he impales himself on Dong-soo’s blade, and re-enacts what his own father did that day. Yeo Cho-sang  impaled himself on Woon’s own blade.

What truly happened with Woon was that even after Chun’s death, even after Woon was able to redeem himself in the coup and save lives, even after believing Dong-soo and Sword Saint that a man makes his own destiny, and believing that he was free of his burdens, he was not free of Chun.

Like many victims of abuse, he perpetuated Chun’s narrative of LIES that he was a murder---a course set by Yeo Cho-sang, blamed himself for the murder of Crown Prince Sado when it was Chun who had killed the Crown Prince, even told the Prince Heir that as the truth is shown playing in Woon’s mind.

Yeo Woon, still held in the grip of Chun, even though Chun is dead. Still a prisoner of a narcissist pirate. Still a victim.

And one of the things these perpetrators do is foster guilt, terrible guilt in their victims that EVERYTHING is their fault while instilling some sense of debt and confusion and loyalty. Woon’s father may not have let Woon take up the blade, may have told him the nonsense that about the killer destiny. But Woon’s words to his father that night Woon could not kill him were “I AM NOT A KILLER.” Chun heard those words and yet let Woon believe Woon had killed his own father. What a great guy that Chun. I can’t believe audiences fell for that charismatic typical sociopath. It’s such Ted Bundy classic bullshit.

Chun gave Woon the blade that Woon’s father wouldn’t and allowed him to use it. Woon said NO to his father, but he couldn’t say no to Chun. Stockholm Syndrome in a way because Chun had rescued Woon from a father who beat him, who had killed Woon’s mother, who had given him the sword to defend himself, a boy referred to as “girly” throughout the whole series, that Yeo Cho-sang had refused his own son.

Yeo Cho-sang, a ineffective abuser because Woon was a damn tough kid, did not get through to Woon and manipulate him the way Chun did. And then Chun did not teach Woon a thing, no swordsmanship, no wisdom so forget anything approaching genuine parently mentoring--Chun merely lied, gaslighted, gave him assassin assignments and exploited his gifts in every way. In the end, Chun was Woon’s killer.

Other people were bystanders. Chun killed Woon in the field that day. A person without Woon’s history who had heard Cho-rip’s words “It’s all your fault” would have known them to be false. Woon heard what he had believed all his life. His suicidal self (he had attempted suicide before in the series, asking Ji-sun to kill him, holding his own blade before his throat before Chun, trying to kill Hong in what he knew would end up in his own conviction and death) believed Cho-rip that he did not deserve to live.

And a healthy person would have believed that he deserved Dong-soo’s love and care. Time and time again, Woon didn’t speak his truth to anyone, not even to the person who most needed and wanted to hear it--Dong-soo. Woon didn’t tell Gwang-taek and Sa-mo at the wharf what happened to him, how he became an assassin--they asked. They both tried to parent him. They both tried to care for him. Dong-soo tried with all his heart to save Woon. Woon refused them all--not believing he was worthy.

Why?  Chun had said there was there was blood on Woon’s hands. Woon believed Chun, not his own father, that he was shit. That he had a killer destiny. That whoever he had saved did not make up for that. That he had to die. Cho-rip listed the people who died because of Woon. Cho-rip said that even the Prince Heir and Dong-soo would not be safe if Woon lived. Woon believed that. In order for Dong-soo, his most beloved person to live, Woon would have to kill himself. Dong-soo’s being alive was more important than Woon’s being alive.

The following video killed me. It echoed a lot of what I speak of in this meta--and the song in its repeated use of the word “come” creeps me out because of the power Chun had over Woon and the sexual implication.  The MV seems to indict Chun, Gwang-taek, and Dong-soo in Woon’s death. I don’t blame “let me take care of you” Gwang-taek  who sent Woon back to Heuksa Chorong  (and don’t get me started on Gwang-taek’s other flaw of believing women shouldn’t wield the sword--in those days women could not enter military or police and had only a choice as bandits, outlaws or assassins if they did and his love Ga-ok had died by the sword--but I address that in my fix-it fic because I have Woon say, as he suggested to Dong-soo, that there was no protecting everyone--that one shouldn’t go around saying one could when one couldn’t, that sometimes men would not be around to protect women). I don’t blame Dong-soo, who in his desperation, told Woon something literally impossible to carry out but impossibly romantic--that if there was something Woon could not bear, Dong-soo would bear it for him. I don’t even blame Cho-rip, who in his stupidity, in his hyper-academic reasonable-ness and allegiance to the law, was trying to protect the Prince Heir--and who probably felt bitter still for having been stabbed by Woon and who didn’t have all the facts about how Woon saved people--and who, yeah, had been treated as a third wheel by Dong-soo and Woon, all his life, would say those things to Woon after having been STABBED by Woon’s own employees.

I blame Chun.

I see one victim and one cruel perpetrator.

Chun killed a beautiful, good person. Yeo Woon who all his life tried with all his goodness and intelligence to do right, who stood up to his father and the Prince Heir to save even his own life while he tried to save others (this is also typical of abuse survivors--their compassion and caregiving excesses, their willingness to sacrifice themselves for others, even as they fight for their own lives like crazy--PTSD is a desperate coping mechanism for survival); Woon was exploited and defeated by Chun’s crazy programming at every turn. In the end, Chun won.  In the end, Woon was Chun’s mirror--he believed he was the irredeemable murderer Chun actually was, and his own goodness believed that such a person didn’t deserve to live.

And it was a grotesque tragedy--Woon dying for Dong-soo. Dong-soo unable to protect with his own sword and Woon dying on it in his arms.Just as Woon changed his life for Dong-soo, he decided to die for him. One huge flaw of the series is how Dong-soo is drinking, almost in a parody of Woon’s own father and Chun, in attempts to forget Woon and hallucinates Woon in the end, and yet this is so unsatisfying. As is the very end when Dong-soo promises to teach martial arts to a child (is it the same child Woon reached out to and tried to teach how to hold a sword?) Woon died for no reason. No reason.  Even as a cautionary tale, even as a supreme tragedy--and yes, Shakespeare wrote tragedy so yeah it’s a genre and fine fine but that makes the funny bits at the end of the series ring false and strange (Cho-rip's little courtship of Mi-so! Cho-rip of all people!), and the story doesn’t end with any solid ending or tribute to Yeo Woon--at most, an oblique one.

Gwang-taek and Ga-ok got prolonged, hugely weepy, classic K-drama funerals, but stunned audiences didn't have time to mourn Yeo Woon before Sa-mo was a-flirting or Cho-rip was kissing Mi-so right out there in public, and nope, no funeral, nothing. The whiplash, wow. i would have at least like to have had the vaguest recognition that some of Woon's brave deeds were recognized (maybe the gisaeng told?) or know where Woon was buried. Woon was, after all, one of the two main leads, and arguably (although most reviewers won’t even argue the contention) Woon’s character stole the show; I don’t know how many times I’ve read the series should’ve been called Assassin Yeo Woon instead of Warrior Baek Dong-soo.

We know that Baek Dong-soo went on with his life, lived well past what men of his time did, and became famous for writing a martial arts book. Yeo Woon, as may be the point of the script, is a figure lost in history. But should he be lost after audiences have grown to love him or mourn him so much? Ah, the reason for this blog and why I’ve written so much fix-it fic.

And yes, I am a survivor of abuse. Yeo Woon didn’t have to die. As the script was written, he may have--I predicted it from the episode his father went down.  Was there any escaping that trauma? But as in all transformative art and reimaginings, I can save him. Fandom can reclaim him. He’s not dead. He’s not. I will save him again and again.

eta: omg so many typos--caution to maybe edit before posting. I did put this up on A03 though. I’ll put up a somewhat funny story re Cho-rip later. I just needed to purge myself of these fandom thoughts.

[ahgasgay-baby]

Leo Smut - Good Enough (Angst/Smut)

Here’s the Taekwoon smut that I promised. Slight trigger warnings for negative body image and unhealthy dieting, but please enjoy!

It had started with a simple diet. Eating healthier, portioning food. No change. So you began to try working out, attending a gym regularly, with what seemed like nothing. You began to wonder what was the point, and your body image deteriorated. Countless days spent in the mirror poking and prodding at what you thought wasn't good enough, what you had assured yourself wasn't. It had gotten in the way of friends, countless nights out with rejections of food, and limited to no interaction with anyone.

"Tch" Taekwoon snapped you out of your daze, slight discomfort glazing his voice as he stared uncomfortably at you through hooded eyes. You sighed lightly among friends, a normal night with people who could care less about anything that didn't include partying and socialization.  Jaehwan smiled at the table, seemingly ignoring the rude reactions from Taekwoon and gently placing his hand on your shoulder. "Y/N? The boys and I are going to go get something to eat at the bar wanna come with?" You could assume from the incoherent slurring that the band had already had way too much to drink, Sang-hyuk's high pitched screaming almost verifying this fact in a witty manner. You chuckled lightly, carrying a light hearted facade as you smiled faintly. "I'm sorry I'm not really hungry right now Jaehwanie!" you fibbed. "TCK." It was there again. Taekwoon rolling his eyes, tapping his fingers impatiently on the linoleum of the surface of the bar table. Unnoticeably by Jaehwan, but quite noticeable by you. "Maybe next time then Jagi!" Jaehwan laughed, and disappeared once again into the crowd of the club. Nervously, you brushed your hair back , glancing quickly at Taekwoon. His eyes were burrowed into yours, slight irritation apparent as he stared intently into your eyes. You nervously let out a laugh, allowing the facade to form once more. "What's wrong Tae Tae?" You beamed, the falsities of your happiness almost suffocating as you played the part. "Tck" he glared at you, annoyance wrapped in the aura that surrounded him. Tapping his fingers once more he glared at you, his voice low and exasperated as he confronted you bluntly. "Why haven't you eaten Y/N". You began to chuckle, forming the same happy facade that had caused any suspicion to disperse in the first place. "Taek I ate earil-!" "Shut up". His voice was curt, angry. "You haven't eaten in days and if you think I didn't fucking notice then you’re stupid." You paused, shocked that he of all people had even noticed. You began to feel tears well in your eyes, keeping the facade as you smirked softly at Taekwoon. "Please excuse me won't you, I have to use the restroom." You could feel your pulse racing as you lifted yourself from the table, avoiding Taekwoons hand as he quickly tried grabbing yours. "Y/N wa-" You began crying, racing to the bathroom as fast as you could. The same thoughts began racing in your head, scattered and fragmented and you began wondering whether you could ever be good enough, a sour taste forming in your mouth as you entered the white washed walls of the bar's bathroom.

Faced with a bathroom that was completely empty was somber, but fitting. You could feel the tears escape as you approached the mirror and washed your face, hoping to erase of all the sorrow that you seemingly felt everyday. You could feel your breath hitch and your hands shake, the mirror displaying all of things you wanted to erase. However when you had glanced up to face your worst enemy, your reflection, you were faced with something else; a familiar face. "Taekwoon what are you doing this is the girls bath-" Without hesitation you were lightly tossed to the nearest bathroom wall, a strong grip on both of your wrists as Taekwoon faced you. As you faced him, you could sense a different mood from usual Taekwoon, a sense of sadness as he glanced down at you. "Why haven't you been eating" He quietly whispered . Studying his eyes closer as he spoke intently, you could see a glazed look, slight red adorning the bottom of the almond curvature of his eyelids. It was at this moment that you registered that he had been crying. You bit your lip slightly, returning his gaze, the first real feelings you had shared in months. "No matter how hard I try I'll never be good enough, I mean look at me" you began weeping softly, choking down the feelings that had been withheld through all this time, lip quivering. Taekwoon came closer to your face, shock painted on his usually unreadable face. Slowly, he withdrew one hand from your wrist, cautiously caressing your face with a gentle and warm demeanor, almost surprising from someone who boasted such a tough persona. "Listen to me" he began, his voice shaking as he leaned closer. "You are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on, regardless of how you feel." He paused, stern expressions on his face as he gently met your lips, pulling away quickly from embarrassment. " You may see yourself as not good enough, but you are the best thing that has happened to me" You stood shell shocked at his confession, hands trembling as you slowly moved the other hand that had been secured by his. Cautiously you wrapped born arms around his neck, pulling him into a deeper kiss.

Surprised, Taekwoon grunted, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you deeper into the embrace. His tongue grazed the outskirts of your teeth as he asked for entrance, deeply moaning into your mouth as soon as it was given. Exasperated between kisses that left his tongue craving more, you could hear soft sighs of compliments. "You're beautiful" he softly would whisper, before pulling you back into the kiss. His tongue vacuously toured every inch of your mouth, hot breaths escaping in between breaths and creating lustful tensions. You could feel Taekwoons hands cautiously explore, little touches here and there as he resisted the licentious intentions you could sense within him. You moved your body closer to him as you continued you the kiss, earning a grunt of approval as you covertly grinded your hips into his hard member. When you had let up from the kiss, you could see desire coated in Taekwoons irises, a deep dark shadow cast over them as he began kissing down your jawline. You could feel his member twitch beneath his jeans in desire and you pulled him closer, reciprocating his actions of lust with soft pleasing moans as he kissed down your neck. You felt Taekwoon ease up slightly and become more adventurous with his hand movements as he glided his hands up your dress, and lingered over your folds. You were already soaking wet and he could tell, a smirk silhouetting his lips as moved your underwear to the side, placing his hand at your entrance. You pulled him closer and he slipped his fingers inside of you, lacing you with pleasure as added various pressures and movements inside of you. You could hear his usually high voice deepen with yearning as he began thrusting his fingers at a quickened pace inside of you. "Look at how perfect you are" he sighed, churning a feeling of release in your stomach as he continued the pace. "Would someone not good enough have such a perfect tight pussy?" You felt yourself taken aback by this, allowing a moan to escape as you began lowering yourself with each thrust, furthering the insertion and begging for release. You felt Taekwoons fingers leave and complained softly, looking at Taekwoon with pleading eyes. "Bend over" he whispered, positioning you over the sink in the bathroom. "I want you to watch me fuck you" he breathed, lifting your head to the reflection above you. You watched as Taekwoon walked over to the bathroom door, securing it with a garbage can before coming back and discarding his pants. You gulped in pleasure at the outline of his member in his boxers, strained through the thinly clothed garment and hardened beyond belief. You watched in the mirror as he slowly took them off revealing his hard cock in the reflection before you. He was big and he knew it, his cocky smirk painted on as he grabbed your panties and gently pulled them down. Once done, he grabbed your hair and jerked you up to the mirror, forcing you to look at your own face as he pinned you down on the sink. "You look absolutely beautiful" he muttered, sloppily kissing you as he positioned himself at your entrance. You could feel yourself dripping as he teasingly prodded his member at your entrance, allowing moans of ecstasy to escape as he held your head to the mirror. "Look at those fucking sounds you make, Look at how beautiful you look when you do". You could feel his cocky aura deepen as he became more aroused, the tip of him twitching inside of you driving you crazy. "And if you ever feel this way again I better be the only one who fucks you and lets you see them." In that instant he pushed himself inside of you, his hard member fitting almost perfectly inside of you as you watched him fuck you in the reflection of the mirror. He was sweaty and focused, pulling your hair and riding you as you felt your thighs hit the hard porcelain of the sink. You could feel that same knot of pleasure tighten in your stomach as you watched his thrusts quicken and become rougher. He began hiting the spot that drove you made and you felt yourself moaning his name "Taekwoon- right there- please" He grabbed your body and moved you closer to him, deepening his penetration as he closed any possible gap that was left between your bodies. You felt yourself coming over the edge as he breathed heavily on your neck, his thrusts become erratic and senseless. Once again he threw your head up to face the mirror, growling into your ear as he did. "I'm close" he intensely stated "I want you to watch me cum, I want you to cum with me" You gasped in pleasure as he said this and you could feel your wave release, tightening your walls around him and gasping his name and he came shortly after, releasing strands of cum onto your back as he did. He helped you off of the sink and for a moment leaned against the wall, holding you. He glanced at your cardigan with furrowed eyebrows, traces of your events apparent from the whitened streaks on its back. "I'm sorry about that" he mumbled softly, taking the cardigan and gently taking it off of you, folding it in a pile as he went to grab the rest of his clothes. He came back shortly after pants on and cardigan folded, gently in his arms as he handed you his jacket instead. "This way everyone will know this beautiful woman is mine anyway."

[amandayuebing]

My Life is Very Shoujo Manga,  Chapter 14: Disheartened

Friday night, after training, on the 26th of September 2014, I talked to Mallory a little about my decision to potentially leave kendo. I could tell she was really disappointed to hear the news.

She told me that even if I felt a little disheartened, it was okay, and that Uncle Taek said to us the other night wasn’t meant as criticism, and that everyone did kendo for different reasons…

I knew both of these things. However, although I couldn’t tell her, I just felt that my “reason” for doing kendo was dishonest. What even was my reason? Was it just to be around Tony? Because that was only creating complications for me right now. 

And with so much on my mind lately (the stalker, some other complications in my personal life (which I won’t be sharing on my blog), the stress of law school generally) I didn’t need further complications in my life.

(Oh, as for the Narong situation, after the second time, he stopped. I also had a talk to him afterwards to let him know that kind of contact was off-limits.)

While I was on the Central Coast over the weekend, Tony came first in the Kyu division for Uni Games!

I arrived back from the Coast at the very end. Narong was waiting for me outside the sport hall for a hug, which he asked for this time.

I should mention as an important side-note, it seemed like lately, every lesson I turned up to, June would have something to tell me off about, about how what I was wearing was inappropriate for kendo. “The sleeves are so loose that it’s dangerous!”, “You shouldn’t be showing any cleavage!”, “Those shorts are making the guys uncomfortable.”

I had even told Tony how overwhelmed it made me.

“Tony... I don’t think I’m right for kendo. I don’t even know how to do very basic things, like dress appropriately for kendo... I’ve worn everything I think is appropriate active-wear in my entire wardrobe and apparently, none of it is appropriate for kendo-purposes...”

“What? What’s wrong with what you’re wearing. Just ignore what June’s saying. I’ll tell you if anything you’re wearing isn’t safe for kendo. I’ll talk to her--”

“No, no. Don’t. It’s fine.”

I didn’t feel like making any enemies, and I just wanted to do the right thing… But lately, it felt like no matter what I wore, it just was somehow inappropriate to June. So when I walked down to greet everyone and I got warm hugs from Ivan, June and Marianne, I was really surprised!

As I walked through the crowd towards Tony to congratulate him, I heard people from other universities talking about him.

“Oh my god, did you see that Tony Liu guy? He is freaking amazing.”

“Wait, he’s that young?!”

“And he’s the president of UTS Kendo.”

“I heard he’s only been doing kendo for a couple years, and he’s THAT beast.”

When I finally reached “this amazing Tony Liu guy”, his first remark was, “damn, you got so tanned over the weekend.” 

Not the reaction I was expecting when I was here to congratulate him. But I got a hug from him too, and that was good enough.

There was a party at Fukuda-sensei’s house, not only to celebrate the achievements at Uni Games, but because his good friend Kamei-sensei was visiting. I was enjoying myself at the party, but the smell of alcohol made me dizzy…

Then Fukuda-sensei made a speech in what I now know to be affectionately called “Fukuda-English”, about how everyone was in high spirits at this party, when everyone should be reflecting on their performance at uni games and be in the mindset that coming second was not a good enough reason to celebrate. That everyone’s goal should be to win. That time training in the club wasn’t a club for socialising, and people came to trainings to train to win. And he was disappointed at this year’s performance. (Except for Tony, who did well this year.)

Not being able to understand his English completely, and more importantly his intention, I felt like his pep-talk was out of place at a party. I have a very readable face, so Tony came up to me and asked, “What’s wrong?”

“He scares me…”

“Who, Fukuda-sensei?”

Tony explained to me that it wasn’t quite like the way I interpreted, apparently. That he was encouraging everyone not to become complacent with their results and to always strive for their best. It was a good message, and an attitude I also take to the things I strive for in life, but I couldn’t help but feel out of place in the kendo club. Everyone was so serious about kendo, and then here I was.

Then I felt so uncomfortable with Marianne there because she was being overly warm to me that night for some reason. I talked to her a little. Trying to come up with a non-controversial topic, I admitted to her I felt impolite for not having interacted with Fukuda-sensei, despite the fact he was our head sensei, the host and the party was at his house.

She told me not to worry about it. Then she told me about how much Tony adored Fukuda-sensei and would always try his hardest to impress him. As she told me more stories about the kind of relationship Tony and Fukuda-sensei (who I at the time wasn’t a very big fan of), I felt myself distancing from Tony…

How will I ever understand him? Obviously, Marianne was better suited; she understood more about kendo, and about Tony’s motivation. But a niggling feeling at the back of my head told me although she may know a lot about him because of how long they had known each other, it was still at a pretty surface level.

Uncle Taek must have told Hugh-sensei I wanted to quit, because towards the end of the party, during Tony’s speech, he pulled me aside and told me, “Stay in kendo. Stay. Stay. I notice you… mmm… a bit of a shy girl. 

“Shy is… cute when you are young. But when older, not good. It’s good to try something different. Kendo make you more confident. Stay.”

I was really touched, by both Hugh-sensei, and Uncle Taek.

The train ride home, Marianne seemed really drunk and unhappy, talking to Chad.

Tony and Mal walked me back to my apartment after the party. Tony asked what I thought of the party, and I admitted feeling pretty disheartened by Fukuda-sensei’s speech. Mal and I got into a mini-debate with him about how we don’t think it should be all about winning, and he said we were missing the point/don’t understand Fukuda-English. Even so… It was clear I didn’t fit in with the competitive spirit of the club. I was still trying to figure out how to do the basics.

I started kendo to try something new and become better at things I couldn’t do before, but soon discovered I didn’t enjoy hitting people. At all. And I don’t enjoy seeing the violence, even though kendo isn’t that violent, because the people are in armour and no one really gets hurt.

I couldn’t lie to myself, though, that “why am I even here?” crossed my mind a lot of the time. I went to training hoping that the meaning of all the things we did during training would just click one day, but it still felt like I was just randomly lifting my sword up and down, as I didn’t have the same “warrior’s spirit” as everyone else.

But I loved watching Tony do kendo, and the passion he had for it. It was becoming apparent that these days when my own motivation for doing kendo was dwindling, his passion, and trying to understand something that was important to him was my motivation for staying. Marianne and his friends understood his passion more than I did. And possibly more than I ever would… As much as I tried to understand kendo, if it’s not for me, I shouldn’t force it or pretend.

But I thought about it harder, and I wasn’t ready to leave before I graded. I hadn’t even given kendo the full 10 weeks and I was ready to give up and decide it wasn’t for me? The words of Hugh-sensei about me needing to be more confident also rang in the back of my head.

I was a law student after all, and my shyness hadn’t served me very well during my law school experience. Maybe he was right. Maybe I need to do something different to try and build my confidence. 

I mean, he had a good point...

[mountphoenixrp]

We have a new citizen in Mount Phoenix:

                                       Phobetor, the God of Nightmares,                                           whose origins stem from Ancient Greece.                                                     He is now the owner of Minx.

FC NAME/GROUP: Jung Taek-woon (Leo), VIXX 
 GOD NAME: Phobetor 
PANTHEON: Greek
 OCCUPATION: Owner of Minx, Burlesque Club and Lounge. He lives in the Posh District, not too far from the club. (Not part of the City Council.)
 HEIGHT: 183 cm (6 feet)
 WEIGHT: 63 kg (139 lbs) 
DEFINING FEATURES: Phobetor has a very sharp, defining face that is easily recognizable from far away. His gaze is one thing that is very haunting to some; unnerving and somber. Though he may have not many different defining features, there is a small, black dot on the inner part of each wrist; symbolizing something related to his powers.

PERSONALITY: At first glace, Phobetor is definitely not one god to mess around with. He’s very quiet and closed-off, only talking to those who he seems fit to speak with him on matters. Not shying away from being bold or a bit cynical from time to time either, he has a balance of fear, sombreness and tranquility that seems to send people strange vibes. Phobetor can also become very agitated and bitter if he’s in a bad mindset; worsen this when he has side effects from his nightmares.

His gaze is what’s sets people off the most; dark, angry and sometimes lost. Nevertheless, it’s normal for him to seem like he’s giving you a death glare every second of the day. When it comes to business and keeping everything under control, he can be very successful and protective of his name. Touch one of his staff and you’ll most likely be haunted by the god until you’re rolling in your grave to escape him. Rumours say that if you call him by his real name, he won’t stop haunting your dreams until you beg for his mercy in the Dream Realm. 

HISTORY: If there is one thing to fear, it is fear itself. But fear takes many shapes within the world of mortals. One of those who was known to be feared by even the strongest of Greek champions was Phobetor; God of Nighmares, the brother to Morpheus and Phantasos. He was silent, quick to act and a force of true pain and suffering. He would frighten those who fell stupidly for dreaming without nightmares he only could conjure to the point of insanity. It also made mortals affected by his torments slip into heavy anxieties throughout their lives. He enjoyed the suffering; greedy for the power he so craved for in the darkest of nights.

As many millennia went on, slowly there were less people who feared the god, thinking nightmares as only ‘dark imaginations’ created by small children when they were asleep. This sent the god into a void of powerlessness and dread, watching as he was becoming a hollow god from his former glory days above the Greeks. He soon realized he had to do something before we would become a faint memory in the minds of the people who remember the stories of the powerful, dark god.

He remained hidden among the ruins of what were the former empires of the Greeks as he watched many others leaving to a place of promise, including his brother. He dared not to leave his home for the sake of losing all that he had left; causing him to slowly be driven insane to the point where everyday was a nightmare to him as he churned out chaos and fear to the local villages. Slowly, the darkness died down and he was left alone pondering what he would do next.

When he found out his brother Morpheus moved to a place specifically for the Gods and their children, he decided to take his chances and start from the bottom and bring back glory and fear to his name. Not only will he be able to become powerful over these mortals, but even the gods as well. After arriving, he decided to open up and run Minx, Burlesque Lounge and Club in the higher-end district of Mount Phoenix. Slowly, traction built up and he had brought himself to a position where he felt alive again, but he also craved that sensation of fear. Whenever there were issues he could bring anxiety to others with a single, sharp gaze and if he really felt like pushing the limit; he would turn their sweet dreams into a living hell. He continues to strike fright into unexpected people who call him nothing but a lost soul among the gods and goddesses of the past. Clearly, he’s just getting started.

POWERS: Phobetor can choose to enter other people’s dreams when they are asleep but he cannot control that dream (A side effect that comes with his powers). His presence within turns the dream into a nightmare; he can take forms in different animals (Crows and Ravens are his most common) or monsters that are beyond any work of the Gods. He can only shapeshift into creatures in his nightmares and nowhere else.

If he stays in a person’s nightmare for extended periods of time, he can become slightly shrouded in a thin, black mist or his eyes will go completely black and look as if black smoke it coming from them. The side effects will last a certain amount of time outside depending on the severity of the nightmare and the length of time he was inside. He may also have migraines from having too much energy while having too little causes him to become dizzy or severely exhausted.

Phobetor can also induce anxiety in others. Usually it is either caused by a dark gaze from his eyes or if he gets close enough to touch their head; pressing his fingers down on their temples.

STRENGTHS: •The longer he stays within a nightmare and manifests within it; the stronger he becomes. •Being able to go into anyone’s dreams to haunt them with very dark and sometimes chaotic nightmares. •Giving people anxiety with a simple gaze or touch works in times where he has to stand his ground or prove to others he is not one to mess with. •He is very active/energetic at night. 


WEAKNESSES: •He cannot control the dreams he turns into nightmares; only being able to manifest within the dreams he enters. •He can have very bad side effects when becoming over-powered (See; Powers) •Phobetor is more slow and weaker in the day due to the lack of people sleeping (meaning no dreams to enter.) •Too much power makes him have severe migraines that stay for the duration of the time; too little makes him dizzy (to the point of exhaustion).


[jillmckenzie1]

Eat The Rich

“Someday, even the experts will figure out, that crime is not caused by rap music…or even my music, but by a power structure of self-absorbed property owners so brain dead and stupid they won’t even see that if you’re too goddamn greedy to pay taxes for schools and services, they’re not going to be any good anymore! And that uneducated time bombs are a very poor investment as a future workforce. And if you go on teaching people that life is cheap, and leave them to rot in ghettos and jails, they may one day feel justified in coming back to rob and kill you. Duh!”

Jello Biafra said that a number of years ago. He was right then, and he’s right now. As the lead singer of the legendary band Dead Kennedys, Biafra has spent decades seriously thinking about how we relate to politics and each other. Seriously…yet not so seriously. Hell, the name of the band itself is meant to be a dark joke about the end of the American dream, and the band became immortal due to its powerful use of biting satire

Biafra and his bandmates knew that satire has very real power, and it doesn’t simply have to come from a place of bitterness or cruelty.* From Aristophanes to Voltaire, Jonathan Swift to Joe Queenan, the best satirists butcher society’s sacred cows. For example, consider the American myth. It’s based on a concept so simple, people actually believe it to be true—class doesn’t exist here: we’re taught that with enough hard work and ingenuity, anyone can break free from poverty. The idea is, of course, laughable.**

Wherever people exist, class exists. Wherever class exists, some people will thrive off the labor of others. But which people, and which labor? That’s the question asked by Bong Joon-ho, one of the world’s greatest filmmakers, in his new movie Parasite.

We’re introduced to the Kim family, who are not even close to living their best lives. Their patriarch is Kim Ki-taek (Song Kang-ho), a man who tried and failed at a number of entrepreneurial endeavors. These days, they live in a basement apartment, and they’re treated to the view of drunks urinating against the wall right next to their “picture window.”

The family ekes out a living folding pizza for a pizza joint, and they quietly steal Wi-Fi from the coffee place next door. Their lives suck, and it seems unlikely to change, until it does. Ki-taek’s son Kim Ki-woo (Choi Woo-shik) has an opportunity dropped in his lap. One of his buddies is planning to study abroad and he has a gig as an English tutor. Would Ki-woo be interested in taking over as a tutor?

Hell, yes, he would be! It turns out his student is Park Da-hye (Jung Ji-so), a teenaged girl living in an extremely nice house. Her father Park Dong-ik (Lee Sun-kyun) runs a successful IT business, and her mother Choi Yeon-gyo (Cho Yeo-jeong) is a homemaker who hires other people to handle all the homemaking duties. Her little brother is Park Da-song (Jung Hyun-joon), a precocious boy who may or may not legitimately have a need for art therapy.

Ki-woo sees an opening, a way to get his family out of poverty. The scam begins with him innocently suggesting that the Park family might benefit from the services of an art therapist. His sister Kim Ki-jeong (Park So-dam) is more than happy to pose as said therapist. Next, the Kims get the previous housekeeper fired. Ki-jeong “just happens” to know a perfect replacement, played by their matriarch Kim Chung-sook (Jang Hye-jin). After additional manipulations unfold, Ki-taek becomes the new driver for the Park clan and two families live under one roof.

From there? My God, things happen.

Based on what I’ve just told you, you might think that Parasite is a con-artist comedy in which there are plenty of near misses and a plethora of scams running at the same time. You’d be right, but there’s far more to it than that. This is the kind of film that is virtually impossible to predict, and once a certain door is opened during the film, I knew anything could happen.

That’s not entirely surprising if you’re familiar with the work of Bong Joon-ho.*** He’s a South Korean director known for spinning wildly original stories out of fairly pedestrian concepts. With Parasite, Bong has made an absurdly entertaining film that hopscotches between genres effortlessly. It’s a comedy of manners, a thriller, a horror movie, and a jet-black satire about the failure of the haves and the have-nots to cohabitate. His film is made with supreme confidence, and everything from the assured editing to the visual contrasts between the cavernous Park home and the claustrophobic Kim home is a marvel.

Bong also wrote the screenplay with co-writer Han Jin-won, and it’s the kind of script that causes intense envy in other writers. They have something to say about the desperation of the poor, about the wealthy surviving on the backs of the underclasses, about the wealth gap that only gets wider. Lesser filmmakers would get preachy, yet Bong and Han keep the narrative moving along with energy and a weird kind of joy.

Performing in a satire is tricky business. Performing in a satire made by Bong Joon-ho is even harder. Lean into the comedy too hard and the whole thing feels like a lark. Lean into the message too hard and you transform a film into a polemic. Bong’s cast walks a tightrope with no small amount of skill. Yes, the Kim family is a pack of grifters. They’re also a family squeezed into desperate circumstances. Yes, the Parks are hilariously naive in their bubble of privilege. They’re also the kind of rich people who “mean well,” in the best and worst sense of the term.

Good satire makes you laugh. Great satire makes you think. There’s not a doubt in my mind that Parasite is one of the best films of 2019, if not the best film of the year. It’s the kind of movie that’s made with a staggering degree of skill, is highly entertaining, and is guaranteed to start a memorable conversation.

    *That’s why Republicans are so bad at it.

**I had a neighbor who genuinely believed that Donald Trump was born into poverty and worked his way up from nothing. Bless his heart.

***If you’re not, no worries! Snowpiercer and Okja are both streaming on Netflix now, and they’re an excellent entry point into Bong’s filmography.

from Blog https://ondenver.com/eat-the-rich/

[kerahlekung]

Najib’s Silly Plan Falls Apart ...

Najib’s Silly Plan Falls Apart ....

Najib Was The Big Bad Wolf So Dangerous Even His Own Director Fled For His Life...

First, Najib Razak tried to scam the world that his partner-in-crime Jho Low had scammed him. When that didn’t quite work out, the former prime minister tried to scam the world that Nik Faisal Ariff Kamil (former CEO of SRC International) had scammed him. When that also failed, he blamed the bank for conspiring with Jho Low and Nik Faisal against him. Najib’s hotshot lawyer, Muhammad Shafee Abdullah, has basically accused everything and everyone – Jho Low (full name: Low Taek Jho), Joanna Yu, Nik Faisal Arif Kamil, Jerome Lee Tak Loong, Terrance Geh Choh Heng, Jasmine Loo, Shahrol Azral Ibrahim, Mohamed Azhar Osman Khairuddin, Ismee Ismail, Suboh Mohd Yassin, and See Yoh Peng – as the bad guys. Attorney Shafee claims – “My client (Najib Razak) does not deal with his account himself. He was misled and is a victim.” The silly plan was to paint the crooked Najib as the good guy who was misled, tricked, scammed, cheated, swindled, conned, lied, deceived, swindled, exploited, duped, hoodwinked, fooled and whatnot by a group of scammers led by Jho Low. Because fugitive Jho Low cannot be produced in court to be grilled and questioned, Najib’s defence team thought it was a super-duper brilliant idea to feign ignorance, and even stupidity. They had even read out in court excerpts which were cherry-picked from the “Billion Dollar Whale” book, as if those in the court were gullible kids who believe in magic and unicorns. The defence lawyers of Najib have also argued that Najib – former premier and finance minister – was a victim of “manipulation” and that “rogue bankers” were involved in handling his bank accounts. Yet, AmBank revealed that they had never received any complaints – not even once – from Najib about how his accounts were being managed by the bank.

  Uma Devi, AmBank Jalan Raja Chulan

Uma Devi, AmBank Jalan Raja Chulan branch manager, had testified that ex-PM Najib took no action and made no complaint from 2011 to 2015 despite irregularities in the signatures of signatories he appointed via authorisation letters to the bank. Ms Uma also confirmed that all cheques in Najib’s accounts can only be signed by him, not even Nik Faisal. Despite insisting that Najib was not a crook, but a victim, in addition to a statement from Dr Shamsul Anwar Sulaiman (former Ihsan Perdana managing director) who claimed his boss (Najib) appeared “shocked and upset” upon learning that someone had transferred money into his private accounts, the defence lawyers could not explain why did Najib happily use the “dirty money” anyway. Amusingly, for some extraordinary and weird reasons, Dr Shamsul admitted that the so-called “shocked and upset” Najib did not instruct him to lodge a report either with the police or the MACC (Malaysian Anti-Corruption Commission) pertaining to the dubious fund transfers – suggesting that the former prime minister knew about the money laundering activities from the beginning. It has been established in court the money trail from SRC International to subsidiary companies Gandingan Mentari Sdn Bhd and Ihsan Perdana Sdn Bhd. A total of RM42 million from Ihsan Perdana made its way into two personal accounts of Najib between December 2014 and February 2015 – in three tranches of RM27 million, RM5 million, and RM10 million. In short, former Prime Minister cum Finance Minister Najib Razak received RM42 million from Ihsan Perdana, which in turn received the money from Gandingan Perdana, which in turned received the fund from SRC International, which in turned got the cash from KWAP Retirement Fund. This means one way or another, the despicable Najib had stolen money from KWAP.

Nik Faisal and  Jho Low - 1MDB and SRC Scandal

Hotshot lawyer Shafee also could not cook up a more convincing story why Najib Razak closed three bank accounts about a month after he transferred millions of Ringgit to other beneficiaries. It was also unexplainable why Najib, despite him being “upset and shock” over the sudden appearance of RM42 million in his accounts, had abruptly fired (former) Attorney General Abdul Gani Patail in July 2015. More damaging testimonies were revealed last week when former SRC International director Ismee Ismail exposed how Najib modified the constitution of SRC International Sdn. Bhd. at an extraordinary general meeting (EGM) to make him the “adviser emeritus” of the company – indirectly gave Mr. Najib control of the company, which was a wholly-owned subsidiary of 1Malaysia Development Berhad (1MDB). Witness Mr. Ismee also told the court that members of SRC International’s board of directors who refused to abide by minutes containing advice from Najib Razak would be sacked or asked to resign. So, it has been established that Najib, not being satisfied with holding the office of the prime minster and finance minister, had also appointed himself as the chairman of 1MDB and adviser emeritus of SRC International. Yesterday, on the 29th day trial of Najib, who is facing 7 charges of misappropriation of SRC funds totalling RM42 million, Afidah Azwa Abdul Aziz (Finance Ministry’s Strategic Investment Division deputy secretary) told the court why she had to rush the preparation of Cabinet documents to guarantee SRC International’s RM4 billion loan from retirement fund KWAP – “SRC belongs to Najib”. Afidah, the 40th prosecution witness, said when she asked her former supervisor Maliami Hamad why the Cabinet memorandum needed to be completed immediately, the response was – “It was ‘orders from above’ and this (SRC) is ‘the PM’s company’.” This means Najib, in contrary to his claim of not knowing anything, had actually maintained an iron grip on SRC International Sdn Bhd.

Ismee Ismail and Suboh Md Yassin 

The strongest proof that Najib was not only a crook caught with his hand in the cookie jar, but was also a dangerous man, came from none other than Suboh Md Yassin, a former director of SRC International. Suboh had surrendered to the Malaysian Anti-Corruption Commission (MACC), and has been placed under a witness protection programme. The key witness exposed yesterday how he fled to Bangkok, Thailand, in 2015 out of fear over the scandal. Mr Suboh told the court he contacted the MACC to explain about SRC, which was under investigation by the commission. However, before he could do so, he received a phone call from an anonymous who claimed to be from the MACC, and ordered him to leave the country immediately. Mr. Suboh exposed – “I was fearful of what was happening and because Najib Razak was in power as the prime minister at that time, I did not know what would happen to me or my family. So I made the decision to run away to Bangkok with my wife for a month.” Suboh also revealed that while in Bangkok, a Thai man handed flight tickets for him and his wife to Abu Dhabi, where they stayed for about a week. He eventually returned to Malaysia, but was immediately told by Nik Faisal (former CEO of SRC International) to leave the country again after Najib lost his power in the May 2018 general election. However, Suboh said, he had decided not to run anymore. It’s quite easy to establish whether the witness really fled to Bangkok and then to Abu Dhabi before returned home. If Najib is indeed as innocent as a lamb and had been a victim, as what his lawyer Shafee would like the world to believe, why did Nik Faisal order Suboh to run away? Why did Najib empower himself as the “adviser emeritus” of SRC? Why did he not report to authorities despite being upset and shocked over strangers sending RM42 million into his accounts? Why did he even have to fire A.G. Gani Patail? Based on the testimonies so far from dozens of witnesses, it can be concluded that Najib was absolutely not a victim to a scam. Instead, he was the main decision maker of SRC International who knew every single transaction involving millions of Ringgit. And Mr. Subor knew the PM Najib was a dangerous man based the gruesome murder of Mongolian Altantuya. - FT

Does Dr Mahathir trust Anwar?

Malaysia will consider selling MAS if offer is good...

Goldman's Offer to Settle 1MDB `Little' Compared to the `Killing' It Made

Goldman Sex tried to offer RM 1 billion trying to close their "sex" scandal. 

But to Tun M their offer is not sexy enough... 😂😂😂😂😂😂 - f/bk

Antara helang dan pipit...

1. Atas sebab - sebab tertentu saya mengambil keputusan menangguhkan panghantaran/ posting artikel ini yang sepatutnya dilakukan 10 hari yang lepas.

2. Sebenarnya selepas acap kali menegur dengan harapan beliau faham dan insaf namun ia tak ubah seperti 'Menyiram Air Di Daun Keladi'.

3. Mungkin dia tidak membaca teguran2 itu, atau mungkin juga di baca, tapi oleh kerana tidak mampu memahami nya , maka tidak berguna lah teguran2 tersebut.

4. Sebenarnya kelakuan buruk beliau bukan sahaja merosakan imej sendiri tapi yang lebih penting, jika gagal dibendung ianya boleh menambah kebencian rakyat terhadap Institusi Raja itu sendiri.

5. 'Sebab Nila Setitik, Rosak Susu Sebelanga'. ‘Sebab Seekor Kerbau Membawa Lumpur, Semuanya Terpalit Kotor’.

6. Di zaman moden ini dan selepas 61 tahun Merdeka , pemikiran rakyat sudah jauh berubah.

7. Sultan dan Keluarga TIDAK boleh lagi menggangap Negara dan Negeri ini adalah hak mutlak mereka, justeru mereka boleh buat apa sahaja mengikut nafsu sendiri.

8. Tanpa rakyat maka tidak akan wujud Sultan.

9. Mengatakan seseorang Sultan itu 'berdaulat' sebenarnya adalah perkara yang sengaja diada-adakan oleh juak atau pengampu - pengampu Istana dengan harapan rakyat takut kepada Sultan, justeru mereka akan terus akur dengan apa saja yang diperintahkan .

10. Hentikan perbuatan syirik seperti pemujaan dan pemeliharaan jin.

11. Apa salahnya merendahkan diri terutama sekali kepada rakyat bawahan, bukan bersikap sombong dan bongkak seperti yang dilakukan oldh anak Sultan sekarang.

12. 'Ular Tidak Akan Hilang Bisanya Walupun Menyusur Di Akar'.

13. Komen beliau melalui Twitter terhadap seorang Menteri Pusat berhubung pakaian seluar berwarna hitam, bersamping, berbaju Melayu Teluk Belanga dan bersongkok telah mengundang beribu kritikan.

14. Apalah nak dimegahkan sangat oleh Sultan dan anak-anaknya dengan pakaian seumpama itu.

15. Apa yang dikatakan pakaian 'rasmi' keluarga diRaja Johor sehingga rakyat lain tidak boleh mengenakannya sebenarnya telah digunapakai oleh petugas dan pelayan di Istana Kedah lama sebelum Johor lagi.

16. Di kalangan masyarakat Tionghua, seluar berwarna hitam dipakai semasa menghadiri upacara kematian saja.

17. Rakyat Johor khasnya, pasti merasa hairan mengapa Sultan dan keluarga terlalu berbangga dan mendewa-dewakan pakaian ala barat, tidak seperti Sultan-Sultan yang lain yang berbangga dengan pakaian lengkap tradisi Melayu.

18. Lihat saja pada pakaian ala barat mereka semasa upacara pertabalan dan menghadiri upacara perlantikan Yang Di Pertuan Agong baru - baru ini.

19. Tidak susah dan tidak ada masalah pun jika Sultan Johor dan keluarga menukar tradisi pakaian Di Raja yang asing itu kepada tradisi Melayu. Bak kata pepatah Melayu, hendak seribu daya, tak hendak seribu dalih!

20. Apakah menjadi kesalahan jika rakyat mengenakan pakaian serupa itu; undang - undang mana yang digunakan untuk tidak boleh berpakaian begitu?

21. Kebodohan, kebiadapan dan keangkuhan budak ini lebih menyerlah lagi apabila memandang rendah, memperkecil dan membezakan diri mereka dengan rakyat biasa.

22. Tidak pernah mana-mana Sultan atau anak-anak mereka sanggup menghina rakyatnya.

23. Menggunakan istilah atau anologi 'Antara Helang dan Pipit' dengan sendirinya mewujudkan sistem kasta dalam masyarakat.

24. Jangan ulangi kezaliman Sultan Mahmood mangkat dijulang dan jangan ulangi kezaliman datuk beliau,Sultan Mahmood Iskandar sehingga Perlembagaan Negara terpaksa dipinda.

25. Sultan Johor sekarang adalah keturunan seorang rakyat biasa yang menggulingkan Sultan setelah diberi kepercayaan sebagai Temenggong atau kini bersamaan Menteri Keselamatan Dalam Negeri.

26. Temenggong Daeng Abdul Rahman setelah menggulingkan Sultan Husain dan setelah meninggal, kini giliran anak keduanya pula bernama Daeng Ibrahim ( Daeng Kecil ) merampas kuasa dari abang kandungnya se diri, Temenggong Abdullah.

27. Setelah Daeng Ibrahim meninggal dunia, anaknya pula bernama Abu Bakar diangkat sebagai Temenggong yang baru.

28. Bermula dari Abu Bakarlah ( yang juga di beri gelaran oleh British , Sir Albert Backer ) menukar gelaran dari Temenggong kepada Maharaja Johor dan akhirnya kepada Sultan Johor.

29. Selepas Abu Bakar meninggal anaknya Ibrahim ( nama yang sama dengan datuknya ) diangkat sebagai Sultan sehinggalah ke hari ini.

30. Dari gambaran yang diberi ia jelas menunjukkan Sultan Johor hari ini dan penggantinya Ismail, BUKAN dari keturunan Raja sebenar tetapi mereka adalah hasil 2 kali rampasan kuasa :

i. Rampasan Kuasa pertama - Apabila Temenggong Daeng Abdul Rahman dengan bantuan British menggulingkan Sultan Husain yang melantik beliau sebagai Temenggong.

ii. Rampasan Kuasa kedua - Apabila Temenggong Abdullah digulingkan oleh adik kandungnya sendiri bernama Ibrahim.

31. Terserahlah kepada rakyat Johor khasnya Menteri Besar dan Wakil-Wakil Rakyatnya sama ada mahu meneruskan TRADISI menyembah dan mencium tangan mereka yang kedudukannya menjadi tanda tanya.

32. Undang-undang apa yang boleh digunakan oleh pihak Istana jika sekiranya rakyat membuat keputusan memberhentikan TRADISI tersebut.

33. Bukankah Sultan ini dan anaknya ‘bermati-matian’ meminta rakyat MENOLAK Pakatan Harapan bagi menentukan UMNO/BN terus berkuasa di Johor Pilihanraya Umum yang lepas?

34. Belajarlah menghormati diri sendiri jika mahu umum menghormati kita.

35. Sebaik-baik amalan ialah seperti 'Rasmi Padi, Lagi Berisi Lagi Merendah Diri’, Bukan Seperti Lalang, ‘Terus Menegak Walaupun Kosong' ; yang akhirnya TERPAKSA ditebas juga.

36. Bak kata Mufti Perlis "Sikap Sombong dan Bongkak Pasti Akan Membawa

Kepada Kekufuran . Ia Adalah Pakaian Iblis dan Firaun”.

37. Semoga Sultan dan anaknya itu membaca dan memahami pandangan ini.

38. Saya bersedia menghadapi mereka di muka pengadilan - Mahkamah. - Tamrin Tun Ghafar

Story kat SINI dan SINI

The federal minister was at the Masjid Negara in KL and not in the state of Johore. From the picture he was not wearing the Baju Melayu Telok Belanga Johor. So why can't he wear black trousers? Is there a federal or state law prohibiting this? The Johore place dress code only applies to the royal residences, state assembly, religious and public events in Johore that are attended by the Sultan and members of the Johore royal family. It has no application nationwide. Aren't eagles becoming extinct in most parts of the world? - Gerard Lourdesamy

cheers.

Sumber asal: Najib’s Silly Plan Falls Apart ... Baca selebihnya di Najib’s Silly Plan Falls Apart ...

[whittlebaggett8]

Malaysia seeks forfeiture of assets seized from ex-PM Najib, Defence Online

Former Malaysia’s Prime Minister Najib Razak leaves Kuala Lumpur Substantial Courtroom in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia April 3, 2019.

Reuters

Malaysian prosecutors are trying to find the forfeiture of tens of millions of pounds in income and belongings seized from disgraced former primary minister Najib Razak, his relatives, and other folks, the point out news agency Bernama reported on Wednesday.

Prosecutors named Najib, his spouse Rosmah Mansor, his stepson Riza Aziz, and the couple’s two other small children among 18 respondents in a see of motion filed at the Kuala Lumpur Large Court on Tuesday, Bernama documented.

Najib mentioned the forfeiture action was getting employed by authorities to hold off or avoid returning the belongings, which he reported were being mostly hard cash belonging to his political occasion and presents from a variety of good friends and family.

“It is also staying utilised to make it possible for them to continue on telling lies and propaganda versus me,” he claimed in a Fb article Wednesday.

Rosmah’s law firm did not answer to a request for remark on the submitting. Lawful reps for Riza and other spouse and children customers named in the motion had been not promptly out there for remark.

Because shedding a common election in May possibly final year, Najib has been billed with 42 criminal offences, typically connected to a multibillion-dollar scandal at 1Malaysia Enhancement Berhad (1MDB), a condition fund he launched in 2009.

Authorities have seized money and luxury goods value about $275 million from qualities linked to Najib, who denies any wrongdoing.

The hottest motion involved dollars and belongings – together with house, automobiles, luxury handbags, watches and footwear – seized from the respondents among Could 2018 and March 2019, Bernama noted.

Prosecutors say they have been relevant to alleged money laundering or the outcome of illegal activities involving the respondents, Bernama said. A date for the forfeiture hearing has not yet been mounted, it extra.

Authorities in six nations are investigating alleged revenue laundering and graft at 1MDB. U.S. prosecutors estimate that about $4.5 billion was misappropriated from 1MDB by high-level officers at the fund and their associates.

In accordance to Bernama, other respondents named in the forfeiture accommodate incorporate Goh Gaik Ewe, the mom of Lower Taek Jho, a Malaysian financier who has been charged in the United States and Malaysia for his alleged central role in the 1MDB scenario.

Goh and Low’s whereabouts are not known, although Reduced has continually denied wrongdoing. A spokesman for Small did not immediately reply to a request for remark on the newest motion.

The fit also named Malaysian Roger Ng, a previous Goldman Sachs banker, who has been charged over his position in assisting the bank increase bonds totaling $6.5 billion for 1MDB, some of which had been allegedly misappropriated.

Very last week, Ng was extradited to the United States where by he pleaded not responsible to conspiring to launder income and bribe overseas govt officers.

Goldman Sachs has persistently denied wrongdoing and stated specific users of the previous Malaysian government and 1MDB lied to it about how the bond proceeds would be made use of.

Examine also:

The post Malaysia seeks forfeiture of assets seized from ex-PM Najib, Defence Online appeared first on Defence Online.

from WordPress https://defenceonline.com/2019/05/09/malaysia-seeks-forfeiture-of-assets-seized-from-ex-pm-najib-defence-online/

[pauls4thoughts]

The ideal way to experience South Korean auteur Bong Joon-ho’s awards-garlanded, international box-office smash 'Parasite' is with as little prior knowledge as possible. It really is the kind of remarkable experience that makes modern movie going such a joy.

It defies any easy pigeonhole, wriggles free from slotting into a single genre, can be considered both a mainstream crowd pleaser and an arthouse masterpiece.

We first meet the Kim family, headed by father Ki-taek (Song Kang-ho) and mother Chung-sook (Chang Hyae-jin), in their lowly semi-basement home, hunting for stray wi-fi coverage and leaving their windows open to benefit from bug-killing street fumigation.

When son Ki-woo (Choi Woo-shik) is faced with an unexpected opportunity to home-tutor a rich schoolgirl, he gets his gifted artist sister, Ki-jung (Park So-dam), to forge a college certificate, bluffing his way into the job and into the home of the Park family.

He shows up at their fabulously lavish home, wealthy entrepreneur Mr Park (Lee Sun-kyun), his delicate, unworldly wife, Yeon-kyo (Cho Yeo-jeong), their teen daughter, Da-hye (Jung Ziso) and her wacky kid brother, Da-song (Jung Hyeon-jun).

It looks as if the wealthy Parks could be a meal ticket for the whole crooked family, all pretending to be complete strangers to each other. But little-kid Da-song has noticed something that the grownups haven’t: why do these people smell the same?

The Kim family may live in sewage-flooded squalor, but they are clearly every bit as smart as, and a lot more united than, the Parks, who turn their noses up at the smell of “people who ride the subway”. Similarly, while the smug Mr Park is habitually depicted ascending the stairs of his ultra-modern home, and the Kims are pictured scampering down city steps to their own underworld apartment, it’s clear who holds the dramatic high ground.

When it comes to deception, too, those on the upper rungs of the societal ladder are as practised as those upon whom they look down. In a world of vertical non-integration, 'Parasite' finds gasp-inducing depths lurking beneath even the most apparently placid surfaces.

For me, 'Parasite' is best described as a melancholy ghost story, albeit one disguised beneath umpteen layers of superbly designed and impeccably photographed generic mutations.

Thrillingly played by a flawless ensemble cast who hit every note and harmonic resonance of Bong and co-writer Han Jin-won’s multitonal script, it’s a tragicomic masterclass that will get under your skin and eat away at your cinematic soul.

A miracle of a film. It feels like Bong Joon-ho’s already extraordinary career has been building to this: a riotous social satire that’s as gloriously entertaining as it is deeply sardonic.

The poorer family see themselves in a distorting mirror that cruelly reveals to them how wretched they are by contrast and reveals the riches that could - and should - be theirs.

You’ve never seen a movie quite like 'Parasite.' This time it's true. It is almost a supernatural story; an invasion of the lifestyle snatchers. 'Parasite' gets its tendrils into you. Not to be missed.