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pinescent-and-gingerbread · 3 months

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࣪ ˖✧ The Jackpot

✦ Pairing: Arthur Morgan x Fem!Reader ✦ Summary: You join Arthur and the boys for a job on the Grand Korrigan riverboat where you act as Arthur’s lap girl. The man in question is more than excited about this decision. ✦ Warnings: Guns, mention of shooting, swearing, SMUT, oral (reader receiving), edging if you squint, unprotected p in v ✦ Words: 3,8k ✦ a/n: A big heartwarming thank you to @zae-heeyyy!! Who took the time to correct my dumb spelling and give me her thoughts on this before publishing it! Please go check her work, I swear it won't disappoint! Also: pictures are not mine! I usually try to use a pic for Arthur from my own playthrough but I'm fcking stuck on Guarma rn. Found them on Pinterest.

Dim lights are flickering all around you, making the golden ornaments of the luxurious place you're in shine like a thousand stars. You couldn't believe this gigantic reception room, gratified by a bar, a grand piano, and of course, three elegant poker tables, was actually floating on water right now, as you were on the Grand Korrigan boat, the jewel of its kind, den of the richest gentlemen in St. Denis, in search for some amusement and of course, even more money.

Trelawny and Herr Strauss had plotted a well-crafted deal that could earn a lot of money for the gang. Along with Javier disguised as one of the guards, Arthur would act as a new wealthy businessman who had just made a fortune in oil. Strauss would give him signals during his poker game, which guaranteed him to win considering Trelawny had made a friend out of the dealer.

You? You'd play his mistress, sitting on his lap during the game to make the scene look more convincing. On top of that, you had been able to hide a little gun in a hidden pocket in the underside of your dress, guaranteeing some extra protection, which wasn't a bad idea considering the Grand Korrigan was heavily armed and neither Arthur, Trelawny nor Strauss had one.

So here you were, thriving in your role, comfortably sitting on Arthur's lap, hands wrapped around his neck, both legs hanging on his left side. His arms were enveloping you, hands resting on the edge of the table as he was focusing on his cards.

Well, more like trying to focus, actually.

Maybe it was because you two had started a quite passionate relationship a few weeks ago, sneaking in each other's tent, simple kisses and whispers in the night quickly turning into something more, the both of you having cravings to fulfill.

Maybe it was because Trelawny, the damned man, had chosen a particularly suggestive dress for you to wear, comforting your play considering wives weren't allowed at the poker tables, only work girls and such, your cleavage on full display for his immoral eyes.

Maybe it was the way he could feel the round and warm flesh of your ass even through the fabric of your clothes, right where he wanted to, making his brain impossible to function properly, desperately trying to keep the hardness between his legs to stay in line.

Either way, Arthur had to make enormous efforts to focus on the job and was frankly relieved Strauss was telling him what to do; despite being a pretty good poker player, he would never have been able to win the easiest of games in this state.

Strauss told him to go all-in. He did. You smiled, you would have lied saying you weren't enjoying yourself right now. You had known far worse jobs than playing Arthur's lover. Much to your surprise, he had played a really convincing character through the night too, his usual mumbling far gone, replaced by a bright and confident speech and a cheeky grin that was making you want to kiss it even more. In fact, you wanted to take care of him just to see this cocky smirk flatter under your touch, replaced by a pleasured expression on his handsome face.

It was easy to say both of you were acting pretty good, but inside felt like two teenagers in love.

Arthur had won another hand, men were starting to leave the table, angry. It was only you both and the target now, an opulent man known as Desmond Blythe, loaded with money thanks to his hosiery business.

You pulled a cigarette out of Arthur's pocket along with a match, and you felt his breath hitch for an instant when you slipped your hand in it. Rubbing the match against the wood of the table, you lighted the cigarette casually, little flame illuminating a thin grin on your lips. You took a small drag on it to make sure the tobacco had plainly burnt, then you placed the cigarette in front of Arthur's lips, holding it for him between your index and middle finger, so that he could smoke on it while keeping both his hands on his cards.

It was downright one of the hottest things anybody had done to him and he was starting to lose it. Wrapping his lips around your offering and smoking a long drag, he allowed himself to avert his gaze from his opponent for a few seconds, planting his turquoise pupils into yours.

His eyes were half-lidded, long lashes accentuating the languorous gaze he was giving you. Your heart started racing. The power this man had on you was insane, but if only you knew what you were doing to him in return. You had a glimpse of it though, right there in the depths of his two blue diamonds, this so distinctive dark glow of him, direct window on the sinful pit of his urges.

You were sure your own eyes were mirroring it. And it got worse when, after exhaling some smoke, he quickly kissed the palm of your hand, indicating he had smoked enough, the warm sensation of his chapped lips on your skin giving you goosebumps. His eyes went back to Blythe, and you exhaled as if you had been holding your breath during the whole time you had locked eyes.

You retrieved your hand, taking a drag yourself on the cigarette after him, loving the idea of sharing it with him, of putting your lips right where he did a few seconds before, your biased brain telling you you could taste sweet remnants of him there.

Another all-in, another hand won by Arthur who couldn't stop himself from smiling this sly cocky smirk, eyes sparkling with mischief.

"Shit, shit!" Blythe shouted, hitting on the table with his fists furiously.

"I guess ma luck held... Is that you done?" Arthur asked him, his tone triumphant while bending over the table to gather his not-so-well-deserved chips. "Or, do you got somethin' else to play with?" He added more lowly, his baritone voice almost making you shiver just hearing it.

"Meaning?" Desmond questioned back, visibly frustrated. Looked like frustration was a popular feeling around this poker table tonight, about the game or other things...

Arthur had gotten up from his chair and you too, now standing by his side, partially glued to his body as he had snaked an arm around your waist while finishing to put in order his chips. He answered using the same taunting, arrogant tone as before.

"Well, I heard there was some big boys on this boat, maybe that's not you, no offense-"

"Sit your and your whore's hillbilly asses down." The rich men cut him off, voice dark and serious.

You felt Arthur's hand grip tighter on your waist. For a faint moment, you thought that his cover would collapse, considering how tense he had gotten hearing him calling you a whore. But the way he was still smiling was almost even more scary, it was a false, threatening one. The kind of smile that hides a cold anger, boiling silently inside.

"Why?" Arthur simply answered, tone brilliantly contained considering the way his muscles were flexing on their own under his fancy suit.

"I got a watch... An expensive one, swiss... a Reutlinger no less. It's in the safe, upstairs. It's worth more than you."

You forced yourself not to cross eyes with Arthur. Your target. He had just confirmed what you were all here for. Perfect, just a bit more of this whole play and Arthur would be able to access the strongbox.

"Okay, I trust ya." Arthur consented while sitting back on his chair, placing you with his two big hands back at your place, on his lap. You were definitely loving this job. You'd have to thank Trelawny for it, someday.

The rest of the game passed just like before, your outlaw ultimately winning once more thanks to your colleague's little trick. Desmond was furious, and you obtained your goal.

Arthur happily got up once again, gently helping you stand, one of his hands naturally resting on your shoulder. Before following the gentleman who was supposed to bring him to the safe, he bent over to you, head brushing against yours, his stubble and hairs tickling your cheeks. He whispered in your ear, voice deep and hoarse, this one voice that was always making your head turn.

"When we're finished here, I'm gonna take care of ya, darlin'."

You sighed, cracking up a sly smirk, your cheeks turning a bit red. These simple words were enough to make the heat between your thighs make itself known; crying out for attention. Being so close like this was allowing you to breathe in his scent, its combination on top of his breath on your ear was a dangerous mix for your sanity. You took the opportunity of having his skin so close to your lips to place a small kiss on his neck, right below his own ear.

Arthur smiled at you, his bright blue eyes sparkling as he took a last look at you before walking off. You sighed softly again, already missing his presence. The wait for some time alone was only making your own needs grow.

You were only hoping the job would end up smoothly.

Of course, it didn't.

Desmond, sore loser, had accused Arthur of cheating. That and the fact that the guard Javier had knocked off to steal his clothes had appeared out of nowhere yelling to shoot him had set things on fire on the Grand Korrigan, the boat now witness to a heated shooting the Van Der Linde Gang was known for.

You had instantly pulled out your hidden gun and helped Arthur clean up the place thanks to Javier who had thrown him a rifle. The night had ended with your incongruous team jumping straight in the water, swimming back to the shore, a quite odd and armed to the teeth fish shoal. At least, everyone was alive, and you even had obtained a pretty decent amount of money, not even mentioning the watch Strauss had authenticated as a real Reutlinger. Arthur had quickly taken back the precious object from his greedy hands, "well give it back then", which made you laugh to yourself.

True to himself, your cowboy had instructed everyone to separate and get out of the shore, as always after a job. You were all quite a sight, soaked to the bones. As you were greeting everyone a good night, Arthur silently walked to you and grabbed your hand. Even with the water you both had leaking from your clothes to your skin, you could feel how warm his hand was, contrasting yours which was completely freezing cold from having swam in the icy waters. You wondered if this man was even human.

"But you, Miss, are comin' with me." He playfully informed you, not leaving you any choice.

It was not as if you wanted to go anywhere else anyway.

"Really now? What d'ya have in mind, cowboy?" You asked him with an equally mischievous tone on your own, your eye glued to the way his hair looked completely soaked, subtle rivulets sliding all the way from it to his neck.

"Maybe we could pay ourselves a well-deserved night in town..." He proposed, voice turning more and more into a low growl as he was letting his desires take the lead on his reason.

"I would love that." You simply agreed, before getting closer to him, tilting your head up to bring your lips to his. He gladly let you, one hand still holding yours, the other gently landing on the side of your face.

The walk to the La Bastille Saloon was supposed to be a short one, but you both looked like you couldn't wait to be there before teasing each other. You would sometimes stop walking to just attack his neck, lips merciless as you sucked and kissed him there. Your taunting acts were often met with his equally heated answer, one of his palms ending on your ass, or your thighs, your wet clothes transparent and glued to your curves not helping him to keep his touch away from these places of your body. Arthur's breath sharpened as he called you his lil minx, and no, darlin’, we can't just do it on the streets.

Finally, after having shocked the barman by arriving at such late hours in completely soaked clothes, which honestly just made the both of you laugh mischievously, you reached your love nest for the night.

And what a nest! Silk sheets, canopy bed, sumptuous decor glistening with the dim lights of the chandeliers. Even the floor looked comfortable, carpeted with some fancy patterns, matching the couch and bed's color. Red, just like passion, just like lust. Red, like the color of your cheeks right now as Arthur had closed the door and was already on his knees, placing you on the edge of the mattress. Red, just like what Arthur was seeing right now, hungry hands pulling your dress up, positioning himself between your thighs.

You looked down at him, his darkened eyes looking at you. You noticed he had ripped off his fancy tie, needing to breathe properly, the heat between you both already making him suffocate. In those moments, his beautiful pupils were always shining with a more murky color, his usual sky blue turning into a more cobalt one. They were staring intensely into yours, expression questioning. A silent demand. You nodded positively, quietly answering. Dooming yourself.

The moment you did, he buried his head between your legs, left hand resting on your hip, holding you gently. His lips started kissing softly on the fabric of your undergarments. His other hand quickly came, helping him in his task by pulling it to the side, granting him access.

The moment his lips met your folds, you let out a moan, unable to resist the feeling he was giving you. He was loving it, his ears getting redder as he was more and more aroused himself. He was so big between your thighs, his shoulders were spreading them almost completely open.

He licked in a long, slow movement all the way to the top of your pussy, making you sigh in pleasure already, hips jerking against his head, begging for more.

"Easy, girl... I've got ya." He soothed you hoarsely, left hand holding you more firmly to prevent you from crushing him totally. Nevertheless, he took your eagerness into account; he couldn't deny you anything. Not when it came to sex. Not when you were so beautiful in this ostentatious dress. Not when he had grown more and more found of you, even if he was refusing to admit it to himself completely for now.

He brought his lips on the top of your core, tongue gently circling around this so special knot of nerves, his stubble scratching pleasantly against your skin, bringing you even more sensations.

It was already so good, Arthur's mouth showing you no pity, licking, sucking, kissing, as if you were becoming the only food he could ever feast on, the only oxygen he could breathe with. The sight of his broken nose buried beneath your skin, as if he was searching to go even deeper within you was almost too much for you to handle. Your hands that were gripping the sheets had now found the top of his head, spurring him to continue, please please please, Arthur, more, or you could have died right here on the fancy bed of the La Bastille Saloon.

Arthur's tongue answered your begging call, lapping your sensitive spot faster, harder. How the Hell was that man so good at pleasuring a woman? That, sinful, dirty man, just like the sounds you were letting out right now.

Your vision started to blur, the back of your head sinking onto the mattress, your back arching deliciously, and you were going to let him know just how close you were until he stopped all of a sudden.

"A-Arthur!" You protested, head snapping back at him, eyes pleading, tone both offended and needy as his name had sounded more like a whine when it had felt from your mouth.

He smiled cockily at you from where he was, his mouth looking wet with your arousal. He loved it, he loved being responsible for it.

"I'm here, girl... I jus' need ya too much right now. Lemme just..."

His voice was now a low rumble, coming from the depth of his chest. You watched as he quickly ripped off his clothes with little care for them. Trelawny would have shouted at how he was treating one of the most expensive suits he had ever brought.

But he didn't care about the suit. And neither do you, as your eyes were devouring every inch of his flesh that was appearing under them. The sight of a completely naked Arthur always had the same effect on you, no matter how many times you already had seen it.

His muscular body looked like it had been carved by Angels. No, more likely by an angry, dark God, who would have sculpted him from a hard and brutal material, his many scars and blurs a remnant of it. You could almost picture his tools molding your lover's broad chest and shoulders with sharp, furious hammer blows. His powerful arms and legs had received the same treatment, as if the deity wanted to pass on all of his brutal force into his creation. And his cock was definitely no exception to it.

And yet, this massive force of nature was blushing under your gaze. He couldn't have resisted the hurtful sensation of emptiness around his shaft, one of his hands now giving himself a few strokes to try and relieve some of it. His eyes closed in a frown for a few seconds, your pussy burned at this unholy scenery he was offering you.

You were in such a state of need it was almost depraved. You quickly got rid of your own clothes, tossing them somewhere on the floor of the room, needing to share this intimacy with him, to feel his skin against yours.

"Oh, please... Arthur, jus' take me..." You asked yourself before he could probe your adequation. You knew him well now, you already knew the next words he was going to speak would be another demand to make sure you truly wanted this.

He seemed to enjoy how you had forecasted it, his eyes opening again to look at you, his cock hardening even more, precum slowly leaking from its top, wasting all the efforts he had done to relieve it a bit.

"If that's what you want darlin'... I'm your man." He answered in a growl, climbing next to you on the bed.

You weren't sure why but his last words had made your heart swell in your chest. You were sure, deep down inside of you, that he meant it in another way. He really had become yours, and you, his. Lost in your thoughts, you let him handle you gently, placing you on your belly against the silk sheets, lying himself on top of you, legs between yours.

You slightly moved your rear up against his erection, earning a grunt of pleasure from him. Saying he had loved it was an understatement; he had been thinking about doing this with you since you had sat on him on the riverboat.

Using his right hand, he placed his cock against your entrance, and finally started pushing, your pussy already ready for him thanks to his ministrations, your mouth mewling at the sensation. Your perfect, hot walls were finally enveloping him, and he tried his best not to come just from that intense feeling alone.

He was so big and tall behind you, his head could reach yours and he buried it onto the crook of your neck, his hair still wet offering you a cold feel, contrasting with his whole hot chest pressed on your back, making you feel as if a literal inferno was burning it. He slowly started to pull back, only to shove himself in you again, starting a slow but intense back and forth.

"God, damn it... 'Feel so good girl..." He mumbled against your skin, his arms encircling you from both sides, caging you under his tall figure.

You sighed at his praise, wanting to answer something to compliment him back, but he snapped his hips just at the same time, making you shut your eyes close, and moan louder than before. Your voice was starting to crack under the amount of pleasure he was bringing to you, hard shaft brushing this deep spot within your core every time his hips moved, hitting just right where you needed him to.

He had noticed, and it was only making him lose his mind even more, unable to keep his pace slow, letting his body unleashed. He had waited this whole night to bury himself in you, listened to this moron calling you names without having the right to punch his goddamn idiotic face. He couldn't hold anything back anymore.

He started thrusting more frantically, pistoning his cock in and out of you so fast and hard he was now fucking you onto the bed. His right hand grabbed a fistful of your ass, the feeling of it colliding with his pelvis with every thrust making him insane, the other one next to your left shoulder, preventing him from crushing you completely.

You could feel it, the familiar feeling, the divine relief, building more and more thanks to him, the pace increasing your pleasure. Feeling how impossibly hard his sex had gotten in your cunt, you knew he was close too. This simple fact was the last push to your deliverance.

"A-Arthur! God, yes!" You screamed, unable to form any coherent thoughts, existing simply for this, for this moment with him, naked on the bed of this saloon. Just you and him.

"Oh, darlin’, shit!" Your orgasm had made your walls clench even more around his dick, exploding his limit. He quickly removed himself from you, and finished at the last second on your back and ass, his burning release painting your skin in flaming spurts. His very own sinful art piece.

The room felt silent again. The air stifling from your lovemaking, the only sounds being heard were your sharp, quickened breaths. Arthur took a few seconds to collect himself, feeling better and so satisfied, almost euphoric. Turning your head to the side, you took a glimpse of your lover's gorgeous state. Hair messy, cheeks and ears crimson, sweat dripping everywhere on his skin, chest rising and falling in big, profound exhales.

He then grabbed a piece of fabric from one of the wardrobes to gently wipe off his seed from you, and tossed it away, wanting nothing more but to rest against you now. A perfect contrast, from an agitated, stormy sea to a quiet, secret cove. As if you were the only one who could see him like this, vulnerable, loving even.

You watched him lay by your side on his back, your head still feeling dizzy, slowly coming back from a world of fantasies. You snuggled against him, resting your head on his chest, and he wrapped his arms around you, feeling spent but so, so happy. And you felt the same. Still naked, skin against skin, heart beating together, just the two of you.

Tonight had been quite something, and despite having won a few thousand dollars, it was definitely not money that was making Arthur feel like he had hit the jackpot.

#rdr2 #arthur morgan #arthur morgan x reader #arthur morgan x female reader #arthur morgan x you #pinefic #red dead redemption #arthur morgan smut #red dead redemption 2 #red dead fanfic #rdr2 fanfic #rdr2 smut #arthur morgan fanfiction #arthur morgan fic

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crimsonbubble · 25 days

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Guns and Tiaras

cw. nsfw, afab!reader, mafia husband!hongjoong, possessive!hongjoong, daddy kink, praise, car sex, creampie, voyeurism (kinda), implied death, blood, guns *not proofread, just pure horny

[bro i cant take this anymore my pussy is crying rn]

taglist (dm to be tagged); @sidusvenari @sugarnspice630 @ravenempress101 @autieofthevalley @linearities @wisejudgedragonhairdo @madiexuberant @mifuelarts @straytiny127 @yun-fangz @huen1ngk41 @juyeonshour @uniq-tastic @hongjng8 @miyaluvvsyou

The sounds of dull gunshots, police sirens, and flying debris are now drowned out by the wet squelching of your pretty cunt as your dear husband bounced you on his lap. "Always such a good girl for me, princess. Taking all of daddy's cock so well. Gonna take all of his cum too?"

He had no care for his driver hearing him say these things, spewing out more vulgarity before you could process the first half. He wraps his arms around you completely, slumping against the seats and pinning you to his chest. He drives his cock up, keeping your thigh flush with his. The adjusted position has his tip pressing hard against your sweet spot.

Your wet cunt is drooling around his cock, soaking into his slacks. The o ring of his body chain presses into your clit, making you jolt against the cold metal. You can’t find the time to be embarrassed by your breathy moans as Hongjoong abuses your sweet spot in tandem with his punishing pace.

The way his cock splits you open makes you dizzy, clutching at his shoulders as he attacks you with an onslaught of blinding pleasure. The car screeches as it comes to a halt at a red light. The sudden stop pulled you back, resting against the center console. The new position had you feeling impossibly full, your pussy fluttering around Hongjoong’s dick.

The driver looks over at you, an apology on the tip of his tongue before he feels cold metal pressed to the back of his neck. His eyes widen, freezing in his place. “Eyes on the road or I put a bullet in your head.” The driver gulps, focusing on the near empty streets as he continues the drive home.

You can’t deny the heat that surged through you at your husband’s act of possessiveness. Hongjoong hissed at your sudden clench, grumbling low in his chest as he kept you pressed back against the console. Hongjoong sat against the edge of the seat, pulling you up to him. He kissed you harshly, his hands groping and squeezing your tits. The kissing didn’t last long as Hongjoong moved you to his liking, a growl resonating deep in his chest as he remembered the driver sitting ahead of him.

But the view in front of him made all those thoughts float away. “Fuck, princess, you’re killing me here.” You’ve ridden him in reverse cowgirl before, but not like this. You teased his cock by slipping it through your wet folds, wincing when Hongjoong lands a harsh smack to your ass. “No games, sweetheart. C’mon now, fuck yourself on daddy’s cock.” You sink down onto him immediately, using the console as leverage as you fucked yourself stupid on his ridiculously thick cock.

Hongjoong leans back against the seat, eyes locked on the way your pussy tightens around him. He snakes a hand under you, rubbing at your swollen clit in rapid movements. Hongjoong moans softly, his cock throbbing as your pussy grips him like a vice. “Fuck yes, baby. Take my fucking cock.” Hongjoong can feel his brain floating in bliss as he coats your pulsing cunt in his cum. His fingers worked over your clit quickly, moaning in relief as you milk his cock dry.

The car came to a slow stop, and the familiar sight of the manor's front doors came into view. Yunho and Yeosang who just returned to the manor after a gruelling hunt were still outside, setting down equipment that needed to be cleaned. Hongjoong quickly pushed your clothes into place, patting your butt as you got out of the car. He climbed out after you, catching you with an arm around your back as you struggled to walk properly.

He whistled Yunho over, carefully pushing you towards him with a soft kiss to your temple. “Take them inside for me, I gotta deal with something.” Yunho was quick to scoop you up, carrying you into the manor with haste. Hongjoong turned back to the driver, his eyes glazed over with unreadable emotions. “No one sets eyes on what’s mine and lives.” He waved over the night guards, pointing to the man still in the driver’s seat, “Take care of him for me. And if you dare leave a single drop of blood in my car, I will castrate you both.”

The two guards looked between them, immediately making quick work of the man. Hongjoong walked into the manor with a smug smile as he heard two gunshots go off. He hurriedly made his way to his room, nearly coming in his pants as he saw the way you were laid out on his bed. “Think you can take care of me too, daddy?” Hongjoong shrugs off his jacket, a sleazy grin on his face as he slowly unbuttoned his shirt.

“Daddy always will, princess.”

#bubbly writes <3 #ateez smut #ateez x reader #ateez x y/n #ateez x you #ateez x female reader #ateez hard hours #ateez hard thoughts #hongjoong x reader #hongjoong x you #hongjoong x y/n #hongjoong smut #hongjoong hard thoughts #hongjoong hard hours

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teaboot · 1 year

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Yo I haven't done it in forever so I forgot that working at a sex shop gives you superpowers

1. The We-Vibe Tango is a low frequency and fully waterproof rechargeable bullet vibrator that we used to sell for about $150. A new model came out about a year ago so it's on sale now online for $47. Can confirm that shipping is discreet and they have a really good warranty, just keep the packaging.

*(I'm not sponsored to say that and nobody is paying me rn, it's just a legit good deal.)

2. There are essentially three bases used for lube: Water, Oil, and Silicone. Oil breaks down any materials other than glass or metal, and Silicone breaks down Silicone toys and sometimes condoms. Water is safe for everything but tends to dry out, so people don't like it- but if you add water or spit, drying water-based lube will slick right back up.

3. If your water-based lube has given you any itching, tightening, or burning sensations, you probably have a chemical sensitivity. Obviously everyone has different preferences, but my number one recommendation is Water Slide- it's a super reasonable price compared to other lubes, it feels natural, it's incredibly gentle on the skin, and it doesn't stain sheets.

**(Again, I'm not being paid for this. By anyone. At all. I'm just sick of hearing people come in and tell me they don't use lube cause it hurts, or that they're using fucking coconut oil in their vagina. Please, God, don't put coconut oil in your vagina.)

4. A lot of massage oils use almond oil to suspend other ingredients, and warming products sometimes use cinnamon. Always, always, always check people's allergies.

5. You can buy toys off cheap sites if you want, just be wary of quality and ALWAYS read the product description. I personally wouldn't buy anything that isn't Silicone, stainless steel, or glass, because unlike jelly, plastic, "fantaflesh", and Silicon, (which is NOT Silicone!!!) They are non-porous, sterile, and don't melt in contact with each other. This means that as long as you clean them properly and don't use the wrong lubes, they will not hold bacteria or break down, which makes them safe for both you to reuse and your partner/s to share. (And to switch between front door/back door, so long as you wash before going back to front.)

6. Cotton and polyester bondage rope are cheap and great to practice with. Silk sounds fancy and is very strong but be advised that a lot of silk rope is "Silk(TM)", not actual silk. Read the product description. (I personally am reluctant to spend more than about $2 per foot for mass-produced synthetic rope, but could be persuaded to pay more for ACTUAL silk, nylon, handmade ropes, or especially attractive colors/patterns/textures.) You want your rope to be at least as thick as your thumb and layered to avoid lacerations, and taut (not stretchy) to be sure you're in control of how much pressure you're putting on.

7. Choking someone by pressing on the windpipe is painful and inefficient. If you want to, stay very, very light, as it's a very delicate area. If you want a head rush, press down on the sides of the windpipe, just below the corners of their lower jaw. You will feel a pulse there. That's the carotid artery. It carries oxygen to the brain. Pressing there will allow them to breathe, but will still "choke" the air going to their head. It's faster and painless. Only hold this for 3-4 seconds if you lack experience. It takes just under 15 seconds to make someone pass out from a blood choke, and after that you risk causing *permanent brain damage*. If your partner passes out, release pressure immediately and keep their airways clear. If you're the one being choked, know that your only warning will be spotty vision and a dizzy sensation. Communicate with your partner/s and for the love of God, do your research first. I'm not a doctor. Please God, please do your research.

8. Don't reduce blood flow to any part of the body for more than 20 minutes. This includes cock rings. Take a break for an hour between uses.

9. Most 'dick pills' are just a stimulant, a mild vasodilator, and a placebo. Usually mostly caffeine. They are not worth $20 apiece. Take a minute to meditate, have a hot shower, drink some black tea, have a coffee, go for a run, whatever- you'll get the same effect. And no, there is not a single ethical and legal sex shop in the country that can sell you viagra. You would have better luck on Facebook. Do not buy viagra on Facebook.

10. There are no "male toys" and "female toys". Your only limitations are safety and creativity. If youre sticking something into something else, just make sure everything is clean, not too big, not sharp or abrasive, and can be taken back out.

11. If something "goes missing" in your vagina and you panic, you muscles will tense up and it'll it'll harder to get back. Relax and stand up. Wait a minute. Chill. Calm down. Jump a couple times. There's nowhere for it to go and worst case scenario, I promise the emergency walk-in has seen something weirder or worse in the past hour or so.

12. You cannot return toys that you buy and don't like and I swear to God if you come into my store with an opened product and try to give it back I will lose my shit

13. Actually while I'm at it, people who work at sex shops are more often than not not sex workers and even if they were, it would still not be appropriate to flash or grope them or ask them "what they use", I will run you over in the fucking parking lot

#Sex education #Information #Body health #Not for work #Yes I will take questions please ask questions just let me know if u wanna be anon in the response

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littlelillycatsworld · 7 months

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weight loss breakdown (for once not a mental one impressive ik)

as promised heres my weight loss breakdown. I have awful brain fog words aren't working properly (using any and all brain power on English rn) and it's a bit all over the place please be patient with me I have most definitely forgotten some stuff I'll update when I remember

this is not healthy this is what works for me I know the limits of my body you are your own person please look after yourself and don't compare yourself to me. I'm a professional ballerina and ex-taekwondow artist

please be polite don't leave unsolicited advice if I need or want it I'll ask and right now I DONT.

I'm not suggesting that anyone should attempt to fallow this since this is actually insane

DRINKS

I drink lemon honey water or tea for breakfast most days depending on how much calorie dread I have (does that make sense?)

I will only allow myself to drink water, tea or diet coke/zero or ultra monster throughout the day

MEALS

OMAD when possible budget is 900 I rarely ever make it close to my budget

I'll only intentionally eat dinner unless forced otherwise. I must burn off whatever I can from dinner since I don't have classes that late

some days it's completely unavoidable and I have to eat snacks due to outside pressure like friends and family or my manager (he's apparently hell bent on keeping my ass alive)

binges happen we (I) acknowledge them we (me) move

if I feel faint when In class nothing matters I WILL eat I cannot run the risk of hurting myself or my dance partner when it's him who will be the one who makes sure i dont hit the ground

META DAYS

meta days are important please take them!

I must allow myself 2 grace days a week and I try to be gentle with myself. (essentially I'm gentle parenting myself on these days)

I try not to fall into my normal over the top exercise routine since I still haven't figured out how to make these days my bitch

my cal budget is normally around 1400 for these days

EXERCISE

I must do 10k steps at least (normally much closer to 25k)

I start every day off with a mile run sometimes 2 (depending on how much I want to not exist and weather conditions)

i go to the gym at my dorm when weather conditions are bad or it's to cold for me I run on the treadmill it's not as mentally stimulating as outside but I don't like the rain ice or wind too much

i can be expected to be dancing for 8-9hrs on my longest day so for the most part I don't need to worry too much about forcing myself to burn calories but it gives me peace of mind I burn an estimated 4500cal these days (impossible to know for sure since 2 teachers don't allow activity trackers)

around 3000 on my normal days but again 2 teachers are a pain In my ass

I play just dance religiously at this point it takes me 2hrs to burn 500 I do this after dinner or twice a day on the weekends where possible.

I still practice taekwondo and go to a studio to do classes once a week but it's not as extreme as it used to be (no longer training 6 days a week and doing competitions)

WEIGHING

I weigh myself most days

I don't weigh myself during my meta days I don't need the added mental stress

I get weighed by my school once a week but only update my profile if there is a big difference either up or down (accountability and all that)

FASTS

I normally do 24hr since omad

I don't count my medication, gum, diet coke/zero tea or lemon honey water as breaking my fast. if this keeps me mentally stable then idk it doesn't count (politely eat a brick if you try to tell me otherwise)

I always try to get at least one longer fast a week normally after dinner on wednesday to Friday dinner sometimes I can make it to Saturday dinner it just depends on who's around to make me eat

if your wondering how I've survived this far all I can say is I'm a spiteful little bitch who's going to prove a whole list of people wrong

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justydrawz · 2 months

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LOOK AT MY BABY BOIIII ‼️‼️‼️ I'm so excited to work on pw guys I'm not even joking/vpos

[More yapping + alt versions under the cut]

WHEN I TELL U THIS GOOBER SITS IN MY BRAIN AT ALL TIMES ‼️‼️ gagagagagagaga j want to strangle him 😔‼️ anyways, I'm trying to figure out what would be the best most impactful way to present PW rn I want it too look cool and stuff yk? buTtt ive never made a webcomic before ‼️ or really any good comics in general, so I've been researching >:]

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I dunno if I want to try to like, make my own website for it, or just use webtoon.. - I don't really like the formatting for webtoon since I can't really print it ]: and I like printing my pages, but it does seem like it would be cool [and I bit easier to pull off] than the normal compact comic style, if that makes sense. Also I don't feel like making a website for a silly fnaf comic 😭

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My friends keep trying to rizz this poor single father of 2 kids up and I genuinely don't know what to say 😔 it makes me giggle every time tho‼️ ALSO I MADE HIS OVERBITE ON ACCIDENT BUT THEN I KEPT IT WHEN I FIRST MADE IT AND NOW I'M SO IN LOVE AGGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA THE ONE BIG TOOTH 😭😭😭 he is just a silly boy, also the flats is the closet thing u will get too a official ref for him ‼️

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Pw Moon, Pw Liam, And Pw Eclipse are the trios of all trios I love them all sm‼️ I really want to redesign Lunar again, but idk how to redesign him properly? Like he has a reason he exist yk and like I feel like he's too beefy now, but also his old old design was to twinkish. Sun and Moons designs are set in stone tho and I love them, along with Eclipse, Liam I'm not too sure about tho.- I like his overall design but I might simplify it like I did with Eclipse 🌱!

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That's all my yapping for now ‼️ have a good one!!!

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itoshi-s · 2 years

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I srsly wasnt gonna make u go down a 🐇 hole but im too impatient so this is the 2nd... I give u five words: oral fixation and cum play,, guess who has it?? (Everyone tbh) but think abt it him telling u to keep his first load in ur mouth while pounding u to get his 2nd telling u not to spill it or swallow until his release and even then he would take it in his mouth only to spit it back in urs (ps should i be an emoji anon bc i know which one to use)

OOOOOOHHHH NOOOOOO :( NONNIE U ARE BACK !!! i swear u are the sole reason behind my existence rn asdfkjs i blame YOU for the fever i was running last nite !!! cause this is just... kajfhk this is SO GOOD

also worry not ,, there's a proper fic coming based on rabbit hole 2 TONIGHT </3 2.5 is in the works still but u know damn well i had to do these ideas justice. these are perfect i luv ur brain so much bbie !! also answering ur prev ask there's a small list of fav/hard no's when it come's to kinks !

i… have a certain ravenette in mind 4 this……………. but i am curious which one of the bllk guys u thought of mostly cuz!! you are so right i can see each of them being into that </3 can't blame them cause it really is the hottest idea EVER i am in looooove with cumplay :( sigh

cw: nsfw, cum play. 17- dni!

imagine rin holding a hand over your mouth so that nothing spills :( it gets even harder that way cause now you're also struggling to breathe properly with the way his large palm almost covers up your nose, too :( but the look in his eyes is enough of a motivation, you've let him down on this before and each and every time, you were rendered unable to walk properly for the next few days. you're on the verge of crying by the time he's groaning under his breath, pulling out and grabbing you by the ankles to bring you face-level with his cock.

"open," it's breathy and quick, desperate as he jerks himself, grip tight to mimic the feeling of your cunt. he would've thought it's impossible to feel any better than this, but as you obediently open your mouth, showcasing the pool of cum mixing with your saliva, he comes so hard his knees buckle underneath his weight.

and god he cums lots :( milky and runny and there's so, so much, cause he treats his body so well. your mouth overflows, a soft mewl slipping past your mouth along with a streak of cum as you watch him lose it. teal eyes hooded, mouth agape as he pants and grunts under his breath, rides his high out for all it's worth.

you'd think he was done - but the way his thumb reaches down to wipe away the cum that seeped out the corner of your mouth grants you the contrary. there's a glint of unease in your eyes, simply because you're just so worn out since you've been at it for what seems like hours - and he laughs a bit at the sight.

"fuck. who's my good girl?" it's sweet, a praise that you'll never get bored of and rin's aware. you whimper softly, the obvious answer almost rolling off your tongue - but the very next second your eyes are widening just slightly as he does the unexpected and goes for a kiss. filthy, eager and messy with the way his tongue dips past your lips and laps at your own, tasting himself all along.

you grab at his biceps, nails digging into the sturdy muscle, and you can sense yourself soak the sheets with need all over again.

rin groans into your mouth, hips dragging against the mattress despite his cock already bright pink with overstimulation, and grabs the back of your head. pulling you up to more of a sitting position, he deepens the kiss even more and renders you breathless. it gets your head dizzy and heavy with pleasure all over again, jaw slack as you let him take, take, take.

until he's had his fill.

he breaks the proximity between you two, a string of saliva mixed with his seed connecting your lips until he sits back on his heels again. it breaks off, makes him wipe at his chin with the back of his hand - the other already grabbing at your jaw to keep your mouth agape.

this has played out countless times before already, but doesn't fail to make you lightheaded anyway. he spits on your awaiting tongue, adding in to the mess of drool and two hefty loads of cum that have grown bitter on your tongue from the wait.

"good. swallow."

you only ever realize the breath you've been holding when your throat finally bobs, as you swallow the filth and almost choke with the way your lungs feel so tight from asphyxia. your mouth feels strangely empty as you stick your tongue out again, to show no sign of his cum anywhere.

only then does rin's shoulders roll back slightly, taut muscles finally relaxing with a shaky exhale. he's spent and you can tell - from the way his thighs have a slight tremble to them as he lowers himself down to lay next to you, strong arms pulling you on top of his chest.

"god i fucking love you." he breathes. "you know that?" there's an almost amused lilt to his voice as you nose at his throat - settling for a soft hum as your only answer.

of course you know - he makes sure you do, by all the filth he puts you through <3

#nonnie i'd say u could be the rabbit emoji!! cmon it makes sm sense hehe !#with u always throwing me down soooo many wonderful rabbit holes !#i'd say it'd be quite cute actually hehe >_<#thank yewww 4 blessing me with ur thoughts again I AM KISSIN U ON THE MOUTH #also ofc i made it abt rin cause who else #BUT imagine this.. this w/ reo.. OHHH GOD in a poly ship with nagi #YUM ???#anyways. i am about to fucking implode #rin itoshi smut #rin smut #itoshi rin smut #✩ rin.thirsts #blue lock smut #bllk smut #rin itoshi x reader #itoshi rin x reader #bllk x reader #blue lock x reader

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candeathbereal · 8 months

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Just a small roast of some placements

If a person has Leo and Aries placements then that Virgo Venus means meh imo. Idk I’ve met so many with that and they don’t act like people with Virgo Venus that I’m used to. The impulsive and dumb manner of us fire signs are a moment. I can roast these motherfuckers cause I got all three fire signs in my chart. Quite literally a fire dominant with a Virgo moon. That Virgo moon is fucked but she is trying her hardest. I think if I didn’t have my Saturn in my tenth house I probably would have a shitter work ethic than I do now. I have no proof but ehh fuck it.

Also cancer placements don’t pack the punch I thought they would have. Scorpios aren’t mysterious they are just dumbasses who know how to keep their mouth shut. Yeah I said it! Plus Pisces I got nothing for you sorry. I got Pisces in my eighth house so you guys are confusing to me. I can’t roast without proper interaction. Like you guys are delusional but so are us Neptune dominants.

All the fixed signs have an odd stubbornness which is to be expected from them. And yet it surprises me how much it’s there. Mutable signs have the fun parts of going with the flow and all the lovely vibes of not properly dealing with their emotions especially mutable moons. I don’t blame us for wanting to try new shit but dealing with our emotions in a “healthy” manner is not one of the ways I’m going to be trying. I have to deal with my trauma first before I even try to grasp the idea of crying in front of people unless I intensely trust them. Don’t even get me started on the idea of comfort while going through a mental breakdown. I try to take care of my shit before I get to that point because it’s either that or having a mental break and being extremely exhausted but still having shit to do. Like bruh how can I get better if I have to depend on others emotionally? The Virgo moon is busting out of me rn. Like I know it sounds dumb asf but I feel like ranting and roasting at the same time. This is how dumb we sound but it’s just the brain functioning like it has to.

To sum it all up emotionally we can deal with it later cause other people need a good/easy time. Sag moons do it by staying positive and fun and I love them for it. They just gotta learn that crying your eyes out can be fun. Just make it a game you fools! Geminis have a similar vibe but idk how to describe them. I think they are more likely to have a decent upbringing compared to sag moons. Idk most sag moons I’ve met have some of the worst upbringings oddly similar to cap moons. The key difference is how they cope with those emotions. Cap moons can be workaholics whereas sag moons probably can but not really ya know?

-I am wondering how people can say moon square moon in synastry shows short term. I can grasp it to a certain degree but general this aspect can stay together. It just seems that the common theme is that they have something shared like a child or a pet. Maybe even a business but ehh. For instance my own parents have squared moons and stayed together for years before their divorce. They argued a lot sure but in the end, shit moved on. Traumatizing a little bit but overall could have been worse for sure imo. Oh and they were together for 20ish years but married for 18 of them I think.

That’s it for now

#astrology #astrology observations #astro #astro observations #astro posts #astrology synastry #moon square moon #moon square moon synastry #fixed signs #leo #virgo #scorpio #aquarius #taurus #aries #virgo venus

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gyuluttony · 1 year

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Camera Weight

oooh once again, if i'm not given something, i'm just going to keep pushing out the minwon mutual gain fics because something about them has my brain like hardwired rn sdfjhs i hope y'all don't get sick of me writing them in situations like this. i mainly write scenarios that get my rocks off so a lot of them are similar because i like this stuff SDFJS

As a warning, this is a feederism fic and features weight gain, mutual gaining, weight gain denial and dry humping. Don't like, don't read.

The setting for this one is that Wonwoo is an office worker who didn't end up going to the office post pandemic so works from home and Mingyu is a mukbanger. You can see where I'm going here.

Wonwoo closed the laptop that he had for work, making sure that the fake smile he wore stayed on for a couple of moments even after being aware that the camera was long hidden. When he heard the sound of the device powering down, he let out a sigh of relief.

Every work meeting was so tiring. He could only be so amused in seeing Seungkwan and Soonyoung butt heads and it seemed that Jihoon shared the same sentiment considering he looked just as tired when the meeting finished. When the team leads had such vast creative differences, it was a miracle any work could be done.

The miracle in question being named Jeon Wonwoo. Looking at his wristwatch, Wonwoo hurriedly pushed his laptop to the side as he started his home desktop, a set up that was used for much more important matters than organizing spreadsheets and data.

His phone buzzed and he saw Jihoon's contact name as well as a text: "Have fun on your date 😘" Wonwoo felt his face grow warm as he grimaced. Of course he would have slipped while drunk and accidentally confided one of his darkest secrets in a while to his best friend, but he didn't realize it was a free pass to jab at him whenever.

As his screen switched on, there was a small smile that came across his face as he opened Youtube, eager to see the face that he had grown a little parasocially attached to in the past couple of months. The wide smile of the other man pulled at the corners of his mouth as he watched him.

"Wow, it's like the turn out gets bigger for every live that I have!" He waved eagerly and Wonwoo shyly waved back at the screen, almost as if the other man could see him through it. Wonwoo reached for the bag that was at the side of his desk, pulling out his meal.

He had always been a peculiar case when it came to remembering to eat. In school, he had no problem with it because everyone around him ate around the same time but if there was no one to eat with, he just didn't feel the urge to. It was a rather atrocious habit to have but it didn't affect him all too much.

Until he got to work and working from home with his new position. Now, it wasn't out of the blue for him to work the whole day and spend his lunch playing games until Jihoon called him out for it because he was concerned at how much weight Wonwoo had lost in the past couple of months. He was well aware of his friend's habit when it came to eating so he recommended that tried just watching some mukbang streams on his lunch break so it was like he had company.

It was helpful actually! Slowly, he was remembering to eat and just eating properly in general. That was until he found Kimgyu. A mukbang channel that had grown in popularity around the time Wonwoo started paying attention. Originally, he just wanted to see what all the hype was about until he actually tuned in.

A fit, handsome young man who cooked meals for himself for videos and streamed his mukbangs afterwards. The meals he cooked looked good and honestly, Wonwoo admitted that the one making the meals looked even better so he became something of a dedicated fan.

"Today, I made a lot actually... I don't know if I can finish everything that's in here but we'll see." Wonwoo opened his own matching containers as he prepared to eat.

Did they mess up his order? It looked bigger than usual. As he popped a dumpling into his mouth, he shrugged it off since it tasted as good as it usually did. Kimgyu was rather popular for telling stories and anecdotes and realizing he shared a little too much on livestreams but the ditz factor was something that Wonwoo liked (and would rather die than admit).

Kimgyu slurped the noodles in his pan full of them and chewed while he read some responses, "Oh, you're going to get puffy if you're eating that much." A smile comes across his face, "Ah, you're talking about my face. I am getting a lot puffier in general though, don't you think?"

Wonwoo felt his face grow hot, watching Kimgyu show off his new belly in profile on the camera. It was starting to pooch out and he had barely eaten anything. That wasn't there when he first started watching him and... it was making him feel all sorts of things.

Squirming in his computer chair, Wonwoo felt the warmth spread into his system more as he listened, "I do work out still but honestly, I'm starting to explore dishes a lot more instead and I can only do so much cardio." There was a whining tone in Kimgyu's voice that sent shivers down Wonwoo's spine before he was interrupted. "Oh, but I think everyone's enjoying themselves lately it's fine!"

All the chat became a chorus asking why he came to that conclusion and Wonwoo was now hyperaware of the fat around his face, only making his pout more babylike. "I think everyone is just having better food these days! There's..." It was Kimgyu's turn to blush as the chat teased him and encouraged him to continue and he looked rather shy.

Wonwoo wiped his hands on his hoodie as he typed, 'There's what?'

The hand on Kimgyu's face hid a smile as he admitted, "You guys... need to make sure this stays between us. I'm not saying it in a mean way!" Wonwoo nodded, acting like it was a one-on-one conversation while he ate large bites of his rice bowl.

"There's a guy in my building and when I moved in a year ago, he was like... small. Which, there's nothing wrong with! But, he was around my height and I was worried like even the wind would blow him over. But, when I see him recently, he's gotten more sturdy so now, I think it's not like putting on weight is a bad thing."

The chat began to tease him and Kimgyu looked flustered as he explained hurriedly, "I- I mean he's always looked good but he looks even better n- I think I'm just going to stop talking about it." Stuffing his face with a large mouthful of noodles, Kimgyu stated, "So, don't worry about me getting puffy! I'm eating well."

The stream continued and Wonwoo was left wondering why he was feeling the most turned on he's felt in a while. Was... Kimgyu into guys that put on weight? It was one thing to know that he was into guys but it was another that it was a possible fetish as to why he had been getting bigger recently.

Wonwoo opened some videos after the stream, looking at the videos he found when he located Kimgyu's channel for the first time. His arm muscles were bulging because he admitted to doing cooking videos after his workouts. His pecs were large and firm, always making their presence known in his clothes and his ass was doing the same down lower.

But, in the recent videos, these same clothes showed just how much he had been enjoying those meals. Gone was the small waist that Wonwoo drooled over on a couple of occasions, replaced with something that was burgeoning with fat and pressing into his shirt by the end of his streams. At the end of today's, he could have sworn he saw golden skin spill out of the fabric and his hand slipped under his pants to stroke himself at the thought. He had been eating himself bigger everyday and let his massive internet fanbase know about it.

It was hard not to pay attention after. Seeing the way his gut was starting to rest on counters while he was mixing, making the appendage jiggle. Wonwoo couldn't really say that he was only watching because he needed the company to eat. He was watching because he was getting his rocks off on seeing Kimgyu get fatter with each passing week.

From the shots that lingered on his ass that only got wider and stretching the seams of his pants with each and every video or the belly that was no longer able to be contained in shirts, he was going to sleep to the sound of Kimgyu's voice, giving directions on how to cook kimchi fried rice that does good in a caloric deficit while his body showed itself to be in a heavy surplus.

He was still eating with him during the mukbang streams but Wonwoo found himself eating a lot longer considering Kimgyu's portion sizes were growing each time as well. But, it was hard not to get side tracked as he moaned about how full he was, even slipping his hand under his shirt to rub the bloated belly that Wonwoo had pictured plenty of times before seeing white in his vision.

It was a little upsetting he missed the final livestream celebration for his two million subscriber milestone. He was working overtime on a project and most people could sense the grumpy energy from Wonwoo as he typed away at his computer in the office.

"Yo." Jihoon's easygoing gesture was met with a rather cold side eye that would have swayed anyone away. Unfortunately for Wonwoo, Jihoon was well aware that Wonwoo just looked like that and it wasn't pointed... mostly.

"Remind me to never let Seungkwan and Soonyoung lead a project again." A chuckle comes from his friend, laughing at his misery. "Well, this was one of the company's biggest successes in a while so I have some bad news for you."

Wonwoo's groan must have been music to Jihoon's ears at the way his laughter sounded so triumphant before he said, "Let's go grab dinner. We're free tonight from their hell temporarily."

His original plan was to watch the stream VOD while getting dinner but he missed his friend so he shut down the computer after a couple of moments, making sure everything was in check. "Okay, your treat."

Wonwoo wasn't a heavyweight per say, but he definitely could handle his alcohol. He was prepared to get even with Jihoon constantly teasing him about his parasocial boyfriend and he had to hold his tongue at the way he was watching him put on weight over the past couple of months and the amount of things he's done to those videos.

So, using his wallet to get drunk and eat whatever he wanted was payback enough. Jihoon rolled his eyes as Wonwoo got out of his car with a little difficulty, stumbling from the alcohol he drank and the food that he ate. "Maybe mukbangs were a bad influence because I don't think any person should have that much food in one sitting."

Wonwoo smiled as he stuck his tongue out, "Sucks. You offered to pay." Jihoon smiled as he muttered some curses, "Get upstairs safely!" He drove off after watching Wonwoo enter the building but in the lobby, it was really starting to hit him how much he drank.

He felt himself swaying before something supported him. It was large and sturdy. "Are you okay? You're not walking straight and I saw you almost fall while going to the elevator."

Wonwoo hummed in response, "Mm, I'm fine. Just had a lot to drink so thanks for ca-" The words got caught in his throat when his eyes focused and he saw the face that was staring at him.

"Kimgyu-" The words left his mouth before he could realize and both of them looked rather flustered by the admission so plainly. Wonwoo moved away, albeit somewhat shaky and Kimgyu saw the movement before moving back, his hand placed at Wonwoo's waist, "Sorry, I'm not used to being called that in real life. Just call me Mingyu and... let me help you up."

His fans were right because the puppy dog eyes that were pleading were near lethal to him at this moment in time as Wonwoo conceded, "Thanks." Mingyu's smile was wide as he moved Wonwoo's arm around his broad shoulders and supported him the whole way.

It was a difficult trip considering Wonwoo was going insane feeling the immense presence of the man next to him and the realization that they lived in the same building. He felt Mingyu's belly pressing into his side and saw it sway in his peripheral with each step they took and they ended up in the elevator.

Mingyu awkwardly chuckled, "Y'know, it doesn't hit me that people know me until they say my username but thank you for your support..." He trailed off, almost expectant before Wonwoo nearly facepalmed, "Ah, my name's Wonwoo. Sorry, I was..."

"Starstruck?" Mingyu's smile was charming which was doing no favours considering Wonwoo was oogling the body that was lingering a little close to him.

Wonwoo sighed, a smile on his face, "Trying not to fall." Mingyu looked flustered that his attempt at flirting fell through before Wonwoo added, "And maybe a little." He could practically see a tail wagging from behind the other man before the elevator arrived at his floor.

He was feeling a little better already because the shock helped him sober up but as the door open, Mingyu was ready to head to his floor before Wonwoo asked. "Did... you want to come to my apartment? I'm sure there's something I can share with you."

He stepped out in case the invitation was declined and Mingyu smiled as he followed, "I know all I do on stream is eat but you don't have to offer me food." His stomach gurgled as he flushed, "But, I wouldn't say no."

Wonwoo chuckled warmly as they entered his apartment.

Despite the first time meeting, it was easy to talk to Mingyu. Wonwoo even surprised himself by saying why he started watching his videos in the first place and Wonwoo looked amused as he looked at the other man sitting next to him on the couch.

"Woah, are you crying? It's not that sad though?"

"Hyung, stop teasing me! It just makes me happy that I could help..." A sniffle broke the silence before Wonwoo laughed warmly, patting Mingyu on the shoulder.

"It's fine! I've gotten to eat regularly... just like you have been." A gentle pat on Mingyu's stomach that pressed into his lap. It was more sinful in person as he looked at the result of months of indulgence on the other man. His muscle was still there but there was a majority of fat that rested on his body.

Mingyu looked at him with a different expression as he leaned in closer and Wonwoo was ready to receive that body pressing against his. Although he froze when he felt a hand on his stomach and squeezed it, now aware of the excess fat that was on his own body.

Mingyu stopped, almost concerned at the reaction while Wonwoo rebooted, "Is it alright?"

Wonwoo moved his hand to Mingyu's, now aware of the spread of his gut as he stated quietly, "I... didn't realize I had gotten so big."

Mingyu seemed to be taken aback by the statement before the same look in his eyes popped up as he asked, "Where's your bathroom?" Wonwoo pointed to the closed door as he was flustered from standing so quickly as Mingyu took him.

Taking him to the mirror, Wonwoo stood in front while Mingyu stood behind him, feeling his gut pressing against the curve of his back as he took in the sight.

Everything was making more sense now. Why he was eating longer during Mingyu's streams. Why he took longer in the shower while cleaning himself. Why the bottom of his stomach felt cold when brushing his teeth. Why the floors creaked if he walked quickly to get his take out that he ordered. Why he got out of breath when taking the stairs for his one day a week at work.

He had gotten fat. Mingyu's hands cupped his belly and he gasped, "Remember when I said I was looking at the guy who got bigger? I was talking about you, hyung." Lifting his belly, the sound of the clothed protruding body part echoed in the bathroom as Wonwoo whimpered.

"It was one thing that you didn't even know you were getting bigger but this? You even burst a button and didn't even know." Mingyu's hand slipped into the gap of his button down that he didn't notice until now. Did Jihoon notice when this happened? Is that why he looked at him funnily after he ordered more food? Was the proof of his gluttony somewhere in the restaurant they went to?

Mingyu's hands played with Wonwoo's fat body as he whimpered from the touch. "Hyung, I did this by choice." He brought Wonwoo's hands to his own belly as he groaned, feeling Mingyu press him against the counter with their combined weight.

"But you? You did this without even realizing. Look how massive you are everywhere." Mingyu's hands roamed around Wonwoo's body, making him more aware of the fat that bulged all over him. His moobs that rested on his gut. They were properly rivaling Mingyu's and he moaned when the other man squeezed them.

"You won't ever fit into this again." Mingyu pulled the button down apart, ripping the buttons off as they were freed from the strain of Wonwoo's fat body as he braced himself on the counter, so horny it was hard to stand up. His plump ass ground into Mingyu's crotch, eliciting a sigh of pleasure from him before he felt Mingyu's hands on his waist, sinking into the fat as his belly pressed onto Wonwoo's back, gurgling from the snacks that he had filled up on.

Wonwoo looked in the mirror and saw how much they had both blown up in the past couple of months as the apex of his belly felt cool from the counter it was squishing against, spilling nearly all over the sink area as Mingyu grinded his crotch into Wonwoo's wide ass.

It was hard to last long when realizing just how much he had blown up and all the praise Mingyu was feeding him. He was already stuffed full of food and memories of how much he had done it before, rubbing his gut not even aware of how much his computer chair creaked after each meal because it was starting to strain to hold Wonwoo's obese body. He felt Mingyu convulse as the cloth now sounded wet and Wonwoo felt himself release at the realization that Mingyu was so turned on by how fat he was and how he felt their combined weight with his awareness and the way Mingyu jiggled as he rode out his high.

Catching their breaths, Mingyu clutched Wonwoo's stomach as it got a shuddering sigh from the other man.

"So, should I expect a guest for my next mukbang?"

#kpop feederism #chubby wonwoo #chubby mingyu #gyuluttonous behaviour #weight gain fiction

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plasmasimagination · 10 months

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Hi! I hope You’re doing well and I wanted to ask who you’d match me with from HSR, preferably the guys because ahhahdjsbdks my pfp, but ignore jingy rn I want your true and honest opinion. (I don’t mind a female suggestion either)

I’m going to really try and keep this short (I feel like I will fail this as I literally over-explain everything—) but don’t feel pressured at all to reply to this or anything! (I kinda feel i alr did this but im forgetful too help-)

A quick summary:

I’m afab, like 160cm(5’2? With chest which I hate because I want the dark academia dressing style (i dont have money)), she/they, libra, INFP, I’m sorry, I haven’t really had the hyperfixation on sun moon and rising and well astrology stuff tbh 😭

My personality (a mess im so sorry):

Well, I don’t think I could tell you. What I know of myself is that I try to be honest, I am loyal to my friends and probably obsessive when someone shows me interest and i dont know- (there’s some mental disorders going around, along a suspicion of autism) Personally I see myself as a shy annoying brat, while in reality I don’t ever initiate conversation and never know what to say unless it’s about a hyperfixation or something—AGAIN I OVEREXPLAIN EVERYTHING. My mouth doesn’t work as well as I’d like to, I cry too much (imo) I’m sensitive to well a lot, I get overstimulated quickly depending on the situation and um well I’m a picky eater I guess.

RAHHH I LOVE FOOD. And I’m chubby. I’m VERY self conscious and messy (which I’m sure you’ve noticed if you got this far)

Fun fact! If i were to live alone (still living with parents because house market is hell) I’d probably forget to eat a lot/overeat even more than I already do. Why? Because I don’t feel it. I don’t feel a limit to my ‘hunger’ and I don’t even really think I feel hungry at times.

Also, I hate to be perceived by people. It makes me feel like… too much alive. I don’t really feel a connection between my mind and my body, like someone sees my body and I’m just: THAT AINT ME YALL PLEASE IT AINT MEEEEE 😭😭😭😭 but id never say that bc again, my mouth doesn’t work.

I think I’m pretty useless at a lot too, but I don’t mean for this to be a traumadump thingy, which I also don’t realise when I should stop or not like RIGHT NOW I SHOULD PROBABLY STOP (the doubt is real, I’m so sorry—)

LAST THING!

I’m a Jing Yuan simp, obviously, name and all, but I also firmly believe we wouldn’t be good together? Like he’d be great for me. But what would I bring to him? Besides messy thoughts and nothing?… Which is literally nothing. I want to be someone he could properly rely on and not just a hopeless random girlypop who stops processing information after something becomes a bit too much mentally.

I have my serious moments, which will for most part go unnoticed online, but it’s not like I’m inherently useful or whatever. I feel like I’m really lacking in lots of aspects, and yes I’m aware I’m not ‘old’ yet, but my thoughts eat me alive and I won’t be surprised if I well blablah me me me I hate talking about me. Nothing bad even happened I’m just weird at this point, apologies! (Im a mess, my mind is still that 12 year old kid who just wanted a good hug from her mom and a good chat with her mom without all the school and later college problems aghh I wanna be 5 again.)

ANYWAYS if you made it this far, kudos to your determination anddd i hope you stay hydrated! And eat well. Health before anything.

I FAILED TO KEEP IT SHORT. Sorry I- AAAA that’s how my brain is.

Good god jingsnuggler you're Litteraly the best request I've had in my inbox- (IM SORRY MY OTHER CUTIEPIES DONT GET JEALOUS)

And I also was scrolling from like bottom to top to write some request and saw your pfp and was like "wait didn't I just recently get another one of them?" And I was right >:} You really did stay in my memory HSHSHS anyways anyways not tryna chit chat too long since we know why you're here, and I'll use both of your submits to give you the perfect match...

Drumrolls please....

🥁🥁🥁

JING YUAN!

WAIT ! LISTEN IM NOT BIASED.

I genuinely with all of my heart think that you guys would be perfect like no joke

He would balance you out, just fine.

He's a gentle soul, and would find you very amusing and enjoy being around you

Your talkative and bubbly nature would soothe his soul and calm him even.

Sensitive personality? Don't worry Jing yuan will pat your head and tell you it's fine

Forget to eat? Jing yuan will take note of it. And make sure you never forget. Ever

Okay enough of fluff you said you don't think you have anything to offer for him while I strongly disagree

I think Jing yuan needs someone who can keep him entertained, someone that can talk to him, he's a lonely man believe it or not, he doesn't really interact much with plp other than Yanqing, and between you and me Yanqing is boring af

So he'll greatly appreciate having a small birdie on his shoulder that will tell him all that they think , after hours of doing general work all he would need is to have someone talk to him about some casual stuff and random thoughts, yk?

I also think he would turn to you in case of a crisis, sometimes just come home to you and lay down to cuddle with you, it comforts him somewhat, youre like his stress reliever, hes usually very reserved and calm with other people, but with you..it's so different

To him you're like a fresh breath of air, like just a slap to the face to wake him up, you keep him from going freaking insane

I don't think Jing yuan is usually fit for people with a personality of like blade or Dan Heng (just an example of personality I am no shipper nor anti shipper don't shoot me)

Like ...yeah I guess they can be friends but like...Jing yuan wouldn't click with them? I don't know how to explain it but jing yuan needs someone lively and like all over the place, so he can take time to slowly organize you and your thoughts in his mind.

Phew that's all from me, sending lots of hugs and loves I hope to see you around on my blog since you're a small blessing on my acc (≧◡≦) ♡

#hsr x reader #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail #honkai x reader #jing yuan x you #jing yuan x y/n #honkai jing yuan #jing yuan x reader #jing yuan

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tiredflowercrown · 1 year

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Rant under the cut

Pls don't reblog

I'm am so sick and tired of being this exhausted and fatigued. Because one week I will feel perfectly fine and like I'm on the other side of the hill. Then the next I feel like I can barely move or eat or do any of the things to help stay alive. I am constantly fighting a battle with my mind and how I interact with food, which sucks because i don't even have a term to use for it cause it's not an ed, the term better used is disordered eating. But how do you explain that to people. My parents don't get it because they are the same way and see nothing wrong with it. This past week I've been forcing myself to eat just for my meds to work properly. All I'm eating is fucking applesauce and cheerios, and I'm having to force that down. It's the worse because I feel hungry and have the urge to eat, I just can't. Everything is bad and things that might be good are contaminated and icky and moldy. Even if I know that they probably aren't. Every time I try to describe this my parents keep saying well its your brain you control it. Like no shit it's my brain. However, my brain can and has, in fact, made me throw up because it didn't like the food I ate. Just about every calorie I have in a day comes from soda. THATS NOT GOOD. Especially when I forget to brush my teeth just about everyday. And I know snice drinking is easier that I should get protein shakes or something but the idea of new is so terrifying that I can't do it. I know that there's powders you can add to food to get more nutrients, but again I can't add them. If someone else were to add them then tell me later that would be fine and then maybe I could do it on my own. But my parents insist that I have to do stuff like this on my own because I shouldn't burden people with that responsibility. I know I'm probly malnourished of some sort, but getting the testing to find out is both scary and expensive. I'm already about to try and see if there's a medical reason outside of my mental illness for my forgetfulness. I can't afford to many medical bills rn and neither can my family. They're saving for trips for my grandma because it's probly the last trips she'll take. I've had to fight so hard to get the diagnosis that I have. And my mom is so sure it's one thing but it doesn't match my symptoms and it could still be a problem with that organ but I don't want to go through several rounds of testing. I also am not sure if I even want there to be something wrong with me because knowing that and too what length it affects me could restrict how I can work or go to school. Just ugh. Wish I hadn't been born in a screwed up body.

#tw ed rant #tw medical #tw mental health #tw america healthcare

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iamfuckingsorry · 1 month

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Fuck life stuff :)))

Hate deciding what to do with my life, fuck making life decisions. I have to decide if I wanna

1. apply for an internship in Spain I'm quite likely to get. The internship isn't really in a field I wanna work with in the future and it pays super badly even compared to what I'd get working a part-time minimum wage job at home (and my rent would be higher lol), but I'd get to use some nice instruments and it would be nice to finally learn Spanish properly. Plus the whole travelling/living in a new place thing sounds nice in theory, but I'm not sure I'd really like Spain... I can manage on my own no problem, but it still isn't necessarily a nice feeling. It's pretty manageable in countries where minding your own business is the norm, but it gets so tiring if people keep asking you what you'd done last weekend and then question your answers, invite you to things you have no interest of going to etc etc etc.

2. apply for some PhD positions. I think I'd quite like to do a PhD, I enjoy research and hands-on lab work and they're paid fairly okay over here so it's really the best-case scenario, but... a. I'd need to contact my old PI and use her as a reference and I don't really want to, b. I'm so fucking tired and I don't wanna sign up for 4-5 years of fairly intense work rn. So, uhhh... might not be happening.

3. just apply for some normal jobs. This would unfortunately most likely decrease my chances of getting a PhD position in the future, because I don't have enough hands-on lab experience to land an actually relevant job, plus would likely mean either a. a very mediocre job, b. a long commute, or c. having to move to a city I don't wanna move to because that's where the jobs are. It feels a little bit like giving up, but also it would just be /so nice/ in a way. My brain needs a break.

4. take half a year off, sleep, maybe do some part-time work at my old job, maybe finally go to Japan in like November. This is what I actually want to do (and can easily afford) but... it's just a pretty bad choice career-wise, isn't it? Like I'm not gonna end up unemployed because of this, I have contacts from previous jobs and internships that are very likely to land me /some/ kind of job, but, ugh, would sure set me back some.

I just really feel like taking some time off right now, but... ugh.

#gifted to burned out pipeline? :))#im one of those lucky people for who uni work was pretty easy too for the most part #but ugh. with i grew up with zero ambitions #now no matter what i do i feel like im not living up to my ~potential~#sigh #herr's personal tag

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nibwhipdragon · 1 year

Note

Alright, Joseph for the character ask I wanna read an essay

You all really know who to ask for these character ask games don't you. Thank you I have. Written a lot. I apologise in advance if my writing seems to be discombobulated at times or if it feels like I'm going in circles, my brain has been like mush lately I cannot essay properly rn

Tagging @pey-no-attention-to-me as you asked for this too :3

It's all under the cut because I wrote SO MUCH.

Sexuality headcanon: Bisexual fr ❗️❗️❗️ Though I did see something abt Joseph being aro on here ages ago and it's been rattling around in my head ever since...him being aro/aroace actually kinda gives a reason as to why he's Like That imo, I like to dabble in it. Also it's really funny

Gender headcanon: Genderfluid 💥💥💥 It just fits, yknow? Though I am also open to other gender headcanons, I like to dabble in trans man and trans woman Joseph sometimes (I actually did do a screenshot edit with transfem Joseph once, and oh my god I hate hair so much) <3

A ship I have with said character: Caejose is my main ship with him, as you can probably tell. I also love joseq, they're such a sweet little couple, it's so wholesome (we ignore the cheating, though Joseph does have his selfish and bad traits he would NOT cheat, I hate Araki making him cheat just to get another Joestar for the plot). Hmm actually I should write some joseq I haven't written much and when I do it's sidelined by caejose...

A BROTP I have with said character: JOSEPH AND SMOKEY FR!!!!! WE SHOULD'VE GOTTEN MORE OF THEM AND THEIR SHENANIGANS!!!!! THEY WERE SUCH A GOOD DUO SMOKEY WAS THE FIRST FRIEND JOSEPH MADE HAUGHHHHH ARAKI WHY DO YOU DO THIS ALL THE TIME (I need to actually work on my full rewrite of jjba tbh)

Also I think there's probably something that can be said about Joseph having no proper friends before Smokey. Idk man but the way he always gets so aggressive over the littlest things, but it feels almost defensive in a sort of way to me? Like with the way he immediately demanded to know what was up with the Squid Ink Spaghetti, and the way he was really tentative with starting to eat it once he was told what it was. Yeah that could be chalked down to him just being wary of it as he's not used to the food and he won't know if he'll like it, but with him having no friends and also being arrested 3 times before hitting 20, I have a feeling something else is at play. Joseph was likely bullied in school, if I'm completely honest. That guy 100% did not have a good childhood I can guarantee you that.

And with that likely being the case, his first friend being Smokey kinda has a lot more meaning if you get what I mean. Like they first met because Smokey stole his wallet and ended up being attacked by the police for it. Of course yeah Joseph's not a racist so of course he wouldn't stand for that (ONCE AGAIN, WE IGNORE PART 3 BECAUSE ARAKI LITERALLY CANNOT KEEP HIS OWN CHARACTERS CONSISTENT. GOD.), but the whole arresting thing you'd assume he'd be fine with. And oddly enough he's not, he doesn't want Smokey to get arrested in the first place. You'd think he'd tell them to chill tf out with the racist stuff and leave it at that, but the first thing he tells the cops is that he gave Smokey the wallet – meaning there was no crime committed at all. And the police also only start doing stuff to Joseph after he tried to get Smokey off it scot-free (I feel that this change is more emphasised in the manga, where they straight up ask Joseph why he cares about Smokey as he's white and Smokey is black, I feel like they sorta bring Joseph down to Smokey's level in their minds after Joseph still stays on Smokey's side), so he definitely doesn't do this for his sake as it'd be better for him if he just left it. And with this being Joseph, with his selfish streak, that's quite notable. Personally I think that Joseph could recognise that Smokey wasn't in a good spot if he was stealing in broad daylight like that, he must've been desperate to do that. And once he saw how the police were treating him that just made him wanna make sure Smokey didn't get arrested more. I feel that if he really was bullied in childhood he'd understand the othering going on here (sure he can't understand completely bc getting othered by bullying and getting othered by racism is different. But the similarities ARE there) by the police to Smokey and that's what does cause him to have that REALLY violent outburst towards them (it was deserved, yes, but it didn't need to go that far to get the job done, ykwim). Actually the violent outburst is actually quite notable, seeing that kids that have been abused a lot – because bullying IS abuse – do usually tend to become aggressive and have behavioural and emotional regulation problems later in life as a result of it, sorta like a defence mechanism (and also because being bullied is not a good place to grow up in they also probably didn't have a chance to learn how to regulate emotions, especially if they were being teased and mocked for their feelings and that) and oh my god I'm going off on a major tangent I'll stop now

They also seem to have a sort of brotherly bond with each other, and I love that. They're just really awesome and cool and god I wish Araki had more screen time of them. Part 2 suffers from a lot of pacing issues actually now that I think about it. I'm Normal as you can tell

A NOTP I have with said character: Literally anything incestuous. There's so much incestuous stuff I come across it all the time it's so bad. I hate how Araki goes about writing jjba as he goes along if not for that we wouldn't have had the whole Lisa Lisa bath scene while also being his mother, which I think a lot of the incest stuff comes from. It's just...ew. You can't even get any interesting takes on the narrative with it the majority of the time. Just. 🤢

Also Josekars. Like I can see AUs where Kars ends up turning good and becomes friends or whatnot, Kars is a very interesting character for plots like that, but I simply do not like the ship for em both, it's just not my cup of tea.

A random headcanon: Whenever he had a nightmare as a child, he'd go and sleep in the same bed as Erina, as it'd bring him comfort. However, he still did this even when he was older, until he finally moved out with Suzi. Erina never minded, she'd do anything to make him feel better. (WAAAAHHHHH JOSEPH AND ERINA'S RELATIONSHIP...)

General opinion of said character: do i even need to say.

Well. I think he's very interesting due to his personality and morals being very gray in a way the other Joestars aren't, the other Joestars mainly have their negative traits be in what they do (steal, be a delinquent, etc.) and not their actual personality traits like selfishness and that. He's terribly underused by Araki and also mischaracterised in later parts because it's Araki of course that's gonna happen. I think about him every day for hours at a time he's at the forefront of my mind constantly I'm Normal about him and he's one of the main things keeping my mind tethered to jjba as Sonic's kinda dragging me away from it, hence why Sonic and Joseph are fistfighting in my mind, they both want all my autism RAM so bad you have no idea. Nobody gets him like I do. OK maybe not nobody else, Seaweed and Kirsten get him. Other jjba mutuals don't Josephpost enough/I don't know irl so I can't make a proper judgement on it. He makes me sick I hope he dies. Taking him out for ice cream. Kissing him sloppy (platonically). Detaching his penis so he can never have sex again. Joseph Joestar

#jjba #joseph joestar #ask game answers #ARO JOSEPH TRUTHERS WHERE ARE YOU #there's so much more i wanted to speak about here. like the tequila joseph scene #yeah it was transmisogynistic (still is) but the original version in this day and age can be read in a way #that paints Joseph as a major egg. it's very interesting to me #ougaighhhh I'm normal towards joseph #yeah i wrote an essay about Joseph's relations to other characters that didn't include Caesar. wild i know #waugh

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transfemzedaph · 1 year

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Ravager beef hc? :D

🪱

okay prepare for a lot of writing sdjfbjd

so okay context for this hc overall is that there are hybrids of the newer mobs but most of them like they dont know theyre hybrids till the mobs like appear but theres some cases where the hybrids like do exsist before the mobs properly exsist in minecraft. idk i know how this works in my head but i dunno if that makes sense

so beef is born a lil baby ravager hybrid in like a pillager group, one day when hes still quite young he gets left behind somewhere whilst theyre travelling or sth - no one looks for him or anything because ravagers dont really care for their young so yeah

he gets found by a very kind villager lady who like adopts him and teaches him everything about the world and players and such, one of the things she told him was that the players dont know about the ravagers or even the pillagers yet so he should always hide his ravager-ness from them (cause like the worlds that exsist are very developed but the ones that the players end up in arent as advanced its like weird)

the village he grows up in is fairly small, nestled into a cliffside but sometimes a wandering trader visits, bringing gifts and stories of far off lands and beef is so curious about it and so when hes old enough he leaves to explore the world

he ends up in mindcrack full of players and new friends but its clear this world isnt the same, the villagers are weird and wrong, he keeps his horns filed down and his sleeves long enough that it covers the markings on his arms (cause like the ravagers have the bluey silver like cuffs things and in my brain like when the baby ravagers are born the magic pillager guys do like a thing that makes bluey kinda markings on the ravager where the cuff things go and like its a thing like this ravager is owned and isnt like a wild one and also makes it like magically easier for the cuffs to like stay there, so beef has the markings)

then he joins hermitcraft with lots of people, new friends and old, and he still hides it, he ends up telling the nho during season 5 during the whole jungle shit, like sth abt the them being trapped and beef has to tell them bc his horns are growing and he cant file them down - although beef is unsure if bdubs actually remembers

beef wasnt technically in season 6 but when he returns in season 7, everyone knows about ravagers now, and beef knows its a hybrid friendly server but he still doesnt tell anyone, he does use his part ravager status to his advantage a little in decked out (the ravagers always hesitate and are slightly reluctant to attack him bc they know hes part ravager)

season 8 he still doesnt tell anyone but the whole alien transformation thing happens which makes beef feel real weird and bad bc of his hybridity, so he decides he will tell everyone before season 9

every like new world beef goes to his horns revert back to their original state so beef is kinda glad he doesnt have to do anything with them this time when he starts the new season, he walks into the pre season meeting before they enter the world, sleeves rolled up and horns on display

he feels v awkward abt it and is kinda just like uh so im a ravager hybrid and everyone is like :o oh, x asks how long hes been hiding it and if thats why he wasnt there in s6 - bc remember that thing abt like hybrids like being activated when they appear in the like game that i mentioned at the beginning - and etho who is like standing net to beef scoffs at that and beef is like uh no ive been a hybrid the whole time which everyone is very surprised by bc like born hybrids arent exactly rare and even happen with the newer mobs but mostly the born hybrids from the newer mobs happen after theyre like in the game

when i say in the game i mean when they got added to the game like yknow but like this isnt a game for the people bc its just their life but phrasing things is hard

thats all i have rn and tbh i so badly wish i could draw so i could do like a thing w a body of him to show what he looks like bc of him being a hybrid but eh whatever

#original post tag #this is so long im so sorry #🪱#ravager beef tag #ask tag

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yaminerua · 1 year

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negative vent

the state of my life rn feels like a runaway train

man idk how people can just cook and clean up and not just completely feel like they’re turning to dust afterwards from exhaustion

idk how my family made breakfast lunch and dinner and navigated me not liking the main dinner as a kid and having to have something else bc just making one meal for three of us is enough to put me in the ground so the thought of having to do an additional meal alongside the first one makes my brain feel like it’s ripping itself apart with stress

I end up completely mentally and physically drained bc of all the different steps plus the anxiety of making sure I tidy up afterwards bc if I don’t do it immediately it won’t get done and it’ll build up

there’s got to be some neurodivergence making this extra hard but whether that’s just the good old fashioned depression or something else that makes it feel like torture trying to maintain just regular daily upkeep idk

my dad is trying desperately to make money in a self employed job that hasn’t fucking paid anything in years bc it relies on business deals he facilitates actually going ahead and reaching the payment stage which has literally never happened in the years he’s been trying to do it bc he lives in a fantasy land where he thinks he can make big money on big deals with people who do not give a fuck that we are struggling to hold onto our fucking house and who could fix our problems with one payment that wouldn’t even dent their mountains of money

so he is on the phone constantly and unable to find time to feed himself or my brother who sleeps until 6pm, won’t eat anything after midnight and is losing weight while already considered underweight despite me now spending nearly all day in the kitchen trying to get meals and snacks and shit for him to keep him from getting any more underweight

and I’m just buckling man

I have no time for myself to just sit and chill properly. Even when I try to get a drawing or something doodled out it’s done while I’m sitting in the kitchen waiting for my legs to stop throbbing so I can get back to cooking or washing up. I keep talking about wanting to get back to digital art and commissions once I have my hands on a laptop but the reality is even when I get that I might still just not have the actual time to do what I used to love doing

I haven’t been out of the house much since before the pandemic. I haven’t seen any friends since then either. My life has become a slog of wake up, spend the day in the kitchen in a constant frenzied anxiety cooking state, go to bed and be plagued by the Horrors making me just want to die and not have to wake up to more of the same and there’s no end to it

I’m still waiting for the dwp to give me the extra money I am eligible for and I’m dreading the winter after the struggle the last one was.

I’d have takeout more often if we could justifiably afford it. But my brother is particular about those too and only eats certain things so even if I had the money and energy I don’t have much I can work with. How do you fit a full day’s worth of meals into less than 5 hours when your options are further limited by what he’ll accept

I’m worried about him and his low energy. I’m worried about dad and his high stress. I’m worried about the house being taken if our money runs out. I feel guilty that I’m failing my brother and dad despite turning myself inside out to cook for them and tidy up after myself and make sure they get food even tho it’s clearly not enough.

and on top of that I’ve had a shitty wheezy chest for months presumably bc of the air quality in here bc of the dust and clutter that just has sat for ages bc who has the time to go through it and there’s fucking clothes moths hanging around spiders everywhere and I can move the clutter to clean around it enough

I’m absolutely clawing my way through each day and the only reason I don’t just give in to the exhaustion and spend the whole week in bed is the fact they both need me to do this

pre-covid my uncle used to spend more time here bc my granny was here so things were so much more balanced and maintained but after his mental health struggles in lockdown knocked him for six the state of the house stresses him out so much he can’t come near and it depresses him and as a result I haven’t seen him since last year at my granny’s birthday at the care home and before that it was sometime in 2020 the last I’d seen him

I’m on the brink of collapse and I’ve had a whole bunch of dizzy spells in the kitchen lately and yet I push on bc I can’t stop

I’ve become some kind of spindly pillar trying desperately to hold up a crumbling household and I’m splintering in the process under the pressure but what can I do? If I don’t do this it’ll only be much worse

fucking hell im so tired

#I just need to get it out bc I’m stressed and exhausted and tired of everything #weight mention and just. Generally a bad time #personal shite

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