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valsilverhand-archive · 10 months

Text

Below the cut is how I keep envisioning how Saul and Mona came to be. Please enjoy!

He remembers her being pure as fucking anything. Big grey eyes and long, sandy blonde hair, and a smile that seemed to be brighter than the sun. She was drinking a soda despite having permission to have a beer for such an accomplishment of living for so long out in the 'wilds'.

He knew who she was the minute he saw her despite the obvious changes to her person.

She was eighteen then he thinks.

She was supposed to be innocent still.

Little precious princess.

But that was three years ago, wasn't it?

And now…. here she was, in NC of all fucking places, in some of the skimpiest fucking clothes.

Saul already knew what she was doing. There was a doll chip on the side of her neck. It was pink.

He was here to find her for her father. Big leader for a sanction of Snake Nation. He was as respectable as they came. Little pushy, but never forced anything in regards to his daughter he so very much wanted back home. Mona had up and disappeared (around her eighteenth birthday no less) with nothing but a note telling her parents that she needed to see the world for what it was. Didn't wanna be in the Badlands anymore.

'I wanna find my roots on my own. Please understand that this isn't being done out of hatred or maliciousness on my end. Just wanna grow up outside of the desert. Want a better life!'

Better life his fucking ass.

If he didn't have such great restraint he would go up and scold her, but he didn't want her to run or that he thought less of her. Wouldn't feel right. Instead he just wanted to see if she was okay. Maybe offer a place with the Aldecado's who were mostly set up in the Badlands outside of the city. Convince her to go home to her family in due time if she so wanted.

( He'd already spoken to her father about this.

"She's stubborn as her mama. Make her do anything she don't want and she's doing the opposite... which was my first mistake. Heh." )

Running a hand down his chin, he tried to think of the best course of action.

Gotta try a gentle approach? Maybe.

He'd gotten distracted by Mitch off to the side eating a hot dog before he realized she was in front of him.

Fuck. That was quick. Hadn't even noticed her walk up.

"Listen," Mona begins - new heart shaped eyes squinting up at him before she looks over at Mitch with an amused expression, "I know who you both are. I remember you from a few years back. I'll tell you like I've told every other gonk my dad sends out here: I am not going back. I will fry your brain if you try."

Mitch makes his way over, finishing off his food, and speaks before he can even get a word out, "You always were quick as a whip. We're not trying to force anything. In fact we just wanted to see how you were doing. Might not be close to Snake Nation but what we are is close to your parents. See you've taken uh… a questionable path however."

"It's the best option while I get my GED," she simply shrugs while fixing short hair back. "Then I'll quit this and get myself into a better life."

Saul sighs. "You know damn well it'll be harder than that. If proper education was what you wanted then you should of said so before you left."

"I wanted to do it on my own," Mona snaps before she realizes her pimp is watching from afar. "Anyway you two either give me a party to talk further or leave."

Her expression stays pleasant despite the clear muddle of emotions trying to keep themself at bay.

"Fine," is all Saul says as he rubs at his chin. "Lead us to the closest room then."

"Well if this isn't taking a turn of events," Mitch snorts out with amusement.

Mona rolls her eyes with an amused little smile, "This way then."

Stubborn as a mule, that woman.

He leaves disatisfied.

They'd talked for better part of an hour and neither Saul nor Mitch could convince her to come back with them. Guess she knew what they were planning. It was… frustrating. And a little disappointing. And heartbreaking.

Why the hell did she want to live this life? It wasn't that great to begin with.

He shoots off a message to her father. Doesn't give him anything other than 'couldn't convince her to come home'. The reply is basically a sigh in return.

Good to know she's safe. Don't force her to do anything she doesn't want.

And he left it at that.

Mona had slipped his mind at this point.

He'd become leader to the Aldecado's just a year or so prior so he'd been busy becoming the best leader he could. Had to keep his family safe.

It's when he's at Sunset Motel, drinking a beer with Mitch and Scorpion, that he realizes that the 'hot number' his friend's were giggling about was her.

This was not the young woman he'd seen years ago doing one of the oldest professions anymore. This was a young edgerunner. A woman who finally got out of one hole into another.

( Couldn't do something boring, could you, Mona? he thinks as he eyes her over. )

She's at least twenty-six or something now, right? Eyes are mismatched purple and white, hair is short and a hot pink, and she has new scars on her stomach and back. There's a gun at her hip. Her outfit is leather and something cotton - all black.

Fuck.

He takes a swig of his beer. Mitch is talking to him about something, but he's too distracted. ( What's wrong with him? He doesn't ogle women. Especially not ones who keep making stupid choices. ) It's Scorpion who decides to head over. There's a shiteating grin his way and he gives an annoyed frown back in turn.

Scorpion manages to get her to come over.

"You had hair the last time we met," she jokes to the younger man as she comes to sit with them at the booth. Scorpion is about to open his mouth but Saul is quicker this time.

"Well," Saul begins before Scorpion can start being the usual flirt, "look who it is. You never do disappoint with your chosen professions."

"Ha! Noticed my new toys, did you?," she squints at him with a grin.

"Course I did. Real hard to miss the iron on your hip."

"Can't help that life happens, Saul," her tone is coy before she takes a swig of her own beer she'd had in hand.

They end up having a great time. Laughing, remincing, catching up. And then he finds himself outside with her in the back of the motel (she should be with Scorpion, right? But no, she's chosen to be with his old ass, but it's not like they didn't have a hell of a lot in common). Both of them sitting on the ground, drunk, and laughing. She's warm up against his side in the chill of the night. Felt familiar in a way he wasn't sure how to describe.

"You know… I thought about your offer. Like. A lot." She has her head rested on his shoulder at this point. "But I can't take it yet."

He looks down at her, "And why the hell not? You got a good head on your shoulders, Mona. Fit right in with the Aldecados. You'd be family."

"I mean yeah, true," she hums, "but it's like… I got put on this pedastal back when I was a kid. Dad made sure as hell to make it my 'destiny' that I would take his spot when he kicked the bucket or retired. I sure as fuck didn't want that."

"Yeah, I remember that. Think they called you Princess, right?"

"Mhmm and I hated it. Never wanted to be in the spotlight and I wanted the choice to do what I wanted… so I disappeared. You were the second or third person to find me too back when I was a doll."

Here she pauses for awhile, going quiet while it seemed like she was trying to figure out how to put her words together. The once jovial mood had simmered down and there was a serious tone.

He keeps quiet.

"My little sister was the first," she continues with a sigh. "Lola. She wanted to see why I left. I told her the same thing I said in the note. I don't hate my family. I just wanted to live my life the way I wanted to. She understood that because Dad put the same stress on her when I left."

She turns back to him, "And I have. I'm almost thirty now. I made myself into something that I wanted to make."

He stares at her for a long while.

She'd bloomed into something more than he or anyone else knew at this point. This was a person who went through so much in the ten or so years she'd been in NC.

"Proud of you for that one," and he cracks a genuine smile. "You've come a hell of a long way, Mona. Keep on going. Don't let anyone stop you."

She smiles again, eyes crinkled, before she rests her head back onto his shoulder. She holds his hand. He grasps her back.

( Why does she fit so comfortably? )

"Thanks, choom."

They talk a little while longer as they sober up.

Mona leaves at about two in the morning but not without leaving him with a kiss to the forehead.

He's just sits there awhile longer in shock before leaving himself.

He meets her on and off again.

Every few weeks he comes into NC for a 'supply' run. He stays in her tiny little apartment in Northside. They adventure NC together. Go on dates. Take on jobs here and there. Watch movies. Stay in bed talking about everything and nothing. Make love.

He's never been so goddamn… in love with someone like he is with her.

Sure, he's had other lovers and even girlfriends, but they never last.

Couldn't figure it out until now.

It's been her. It's always been her.

Today he wakes up without her in his arms. She's on her PC, typing away, in a trance like she was sometimes as she finished up contacting fixers or people who hired her for her jobs.

He yawns and stretches, scratching his chest, as he tries to shake the sleep out of his eyes.

"Hey sleepyhead," she grins over at him. "I ordered breakfast. Should be here in about thirty."

"Get my usual?," he asks with another yawn.

"Of course I did. Now just give me a few minutes… I need to finish these reports real quick from the week. Then uh… I have something I want to talk about with you."

Wha-

Ah fuck was she pregnant?

( Why the hell was that your first thought, Saul? )

They hadn't used protection the last few times he'd been able to make it out here. He wasn't sure he would make a great father either. Felt too old to be one too…

It doesn't take her long to come over to the bed. She sits there for a few seconds before she takes a deep breath and smiles.

"So… you remember when you asked me to join the Aldecado's all those years ago?"

Oh. Okay. False alarm. ( Maybe? )

"Yeah, I remember," he mutters with a relieved sigh, "What about it?"

"I just tied my loose ends. I wanna take you up on that offer."

It takes him a few seconds to process what she had said. He pulls himself up to sit.

"You ain't yanking my chain, are you?"

"Do I look like I yank anything other than your cock?," she huffs playfully at him.

He rolls his eyes before grabbing her, pulling her into a kiss that left them both breathless.

"I'll help you pack… but for now…"

She wasn't allowed to leave that bed for awhile, breakfast and the outside world forgotten for a few hours.

It's just after the bullshit with V that he finds himself frustrated by the solar panels. He's scared for his family. Saul doesn't want anything worse to happen to them. They've already lost to many people and so much of their sanity…

He's drinking a beer while the sun sets.

Familiar crunch of boots on sand and rock tells him who's coming before he even looks up. Her hair is starting to fade back to that sandy blonde, make up is smudged from the heat, and she looks like a goddamn goddess in the setting light of the day.

Sitting right besides him, she just keeps to herself.

She's always been so patient with him even from the start of their relationship.

He sets down the beer in a spot he hopes he doesn't knock it over before turning to her. His forehead settles on her shoulder.

"I know, honey," she says softly. "It's gonna pass. Our family is gonna grow again. We will kill all the Rafen scum we need to when it comes down to it."

"Just- hate all of this. We finally got settled but Pa-"

"- shit happens. We are not going to dwell. You will not be a hateful shithead. Got it? We all apologized and we got stronger bonds for it. That's final."

Grumbling in agitation, he lifts his head to rest his chin now, arms coming up to pull her into him for a hug. It's hot. They're sweaty. But he could give a rats ass for now.

He just had to remind himself that he was in a spot where he was happy despite the shitshow that's been the last few weeks of his life.

"That's my man," she cooes as she kisses his forehead. "Emotions are good but we will not let the bad ones fester."

Closing his eyes, he sighs through his nose, before he just allows himself to enjoy the moment. Enjoy her warmth as the day started to settled.

Yeah.

This is good.

He was… happy.

"Love you," he mutters as he presses his mouth to the crook of her nook.

Wouldn't trade this for anything.

#otp: desertrose #cyberpunk 2077 #cyberpunk #mona #oc #saul bright #one shot #its super long btw #didnt mean for that to happen but it just flowed out that way #jfkskcnd

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ephemeralfuture · 13 days

Text

The Grocery Store

The grocery store is… noisy even though it’s empty. The chattering of the managers two aisles over, the sound of Seth racing like an eight year old up and down the aisles. Seth practically blurs past him and when he’s back he’s dumping a six pack of Bang Energy into his basket, crushing the bread.

Seth, the fucking speedster, is just about to race off again, but Jacob is faster, yanking him from his hoodie.

“Put this back.” Jacob says sharply, pulling out the six pack.

“C’mon!” Seth’s voice has a whining edge to it, “I was planning on playing Fortnite with my friends tonight! It’s a Friday!”

Jacob sighs, usually he wouldn’t acquiesce, but the overhead light is buzzing and the sound is drilling into his skull like it was the United States and his brain was oil.

“Seth. Work with me here, it’s a no.”

“I even have money!”

Jacob blinks, furrows his brow, “What money?”

“It’s the, uh, 20 dollars you said you owed me when you forgot it was my birthday!”

He did not forget. He very much did not forget.

Seth must have taken Jacob’s dazed silence as a resolute no.

“Okay then well uh– Dad owes me money!”

Jacob sighs through his nose, when he inhales the air is cloying and sticky–too much. He pinches his brow. He hates that Seth can see his technique working.

“Will it get you to shut up?” Jacob grumbles.

Seth is giving him the biggest sparkling puppy-dog eyes, like he didn’t just crush Jacob’s bread.

There’s a beat of silence, “Fine. But go get a cart first.”

Seth hisses his cheer like Jacob didn’t hear him– and usually Jacob wouldn’t, but he seems to hear everything. He replaces the crushed bread with a better looking loaf, scans the rest of the aisle for jam and peanut butter.

Jacob feels someone practically glide next to him, glide close, cold like they stepped out of a cryo chamber. They smell familiar– they smell nice, they’re too close. Jacob backs up, every sense in him honing on the figure.

“Here, you wanted jam.” His voice cuts through the dissonant symphony of his senses, and Jacob is blinking blankly at him.

“Huh?”

“Jam.” It’s a young man. He looks shockingly familiar, “Peanut butter too, right?”

“Right…” Jacob says, “was I… was I speaking aloud?”

His eyes are golden, last time Jacob checked his eyes were jet black.

“Hm…” The young man says thoughtfully, “Not currently, no.”

Right, because this one could read minds. His voice hooks on a memory, far far off in his mind.

“Edward Cullen.” Jacob says aloud, and Edward nods his head like he’s doing a curtsy, his mouth making a little smirk.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Jacob says, recoiling, he’s tempted to slap the jar out of Edward’s hand.

“Grocery shopping, like you.”

“Bloodsuckers don’t eat.” Jacob says. Edward’s sudden presence ticked the switch of ire in him. Last time Jacob saw him, Edward was covered in blood, wiping his mouth, licking his lips.

Edward makes a face, rolls his eyes, “Common misconception. We don’t need to. Doesn’t make eating less pleasurable.”

Bull-shit!

“I assure you, Mr. Black– it is not.”

“Don’t fucking do that.” Jacob says. When Jacob gets a proper look at Edward, he’s taller, all marble cut with those familiar golden eyes and the copper quiff of hair. He looks the same as when Jacob saw him last, but different– worldly. Or at least better dressed.

He smells nice. He looks nice. Fuck. That can’t be normal.

“I can assure you.” Edward says, voice languid, almost teasing, “That it is. It’s called attraction.”

“Fuck off.” Jacob says. It would be a bad idea to start a fight here, especially since he can’t take on Vampires alone and Seth is with him–

“Relax.” Edward smells like vanilla perfume and musk, it rolls off him in waves. “You and your brother are safe.”

“How many?” Jacob demands through grit teeth.

“None– well, one.” Edward says, and he has the audacity to act sheepish, “Me.”

“Stop. Stop doing that.” Jacob says again, he shakes his head, swallowing, “You reek.”

“No good to lie to anybody.” Edward says, “Least of all to yourself.”

“Oh.” Jacob scoffs, “Like how you convince this whole town that you’re human?”

“Now Mr. Black. There’s that statement about stones… and glass houses…”

“Oh fuck. Off!” Jacob takes a step back, Edward takes a step forward. Fuck no, safe his ass!

“You’re too keyed up Mr. Black.” Edward says, “I already said you and your brother are safe.”

Jacob takes a deep breath, his head is spinning and the store is too fucking loud and Edward smells so good; a maw of feral hunger opens in his stomach.

Edward is taking two more steps forward, tilting his head to look at Jacob more intensely. He’s close, way too close and he’s cool enough for the temperature change to release the pressure gauge in his head. Jacob realizes that he’s breathing shallowly, biting the inside of his cheek to keep himself from leaping at Edward– to fight? Nope. The feeling is too incongruent.

“It’s inconvenient.” Edward’s so close and his voice is low and soft, “I assure you, it’s inconvenient for me too.”

What? He can smell that? Is it like catnip for girls? Catnip for gays?

“Hm.” Edward says shortly, he steps back turning his head, when Jacob looks in the same direction, he sees Seth, two Bang Energy six packs, a family sized bag of Doritos Cool Ranch, and– much to Jake’s unexplained relief–two ribeye steaks. Seth’s eyes go huge and round at the sight of them when he takes a deep breath.

Say nothing, Seth, he begs internally, please say nothing. Luckily, it’s as if Seth follows his directions because Seth nods when their eyes meet.

“Pleased to make your acquaintance.” Edward says and he nods at Seth, who looks like he’s trying not to rear back and growl like a dog. Edward places the jar he was holding into the shopping cart and soon he’s out of sight.

Seth stares at Jacob, turns to look back in the direction Edward went, looks back at his brother.

“Is he your boyfriend?”

“Huh?!” Jacob’s eyes go wide, then his face grows hot, “What–? No!”

Seth looks unconvinced, “Are you sure?”

“Seth!” Jacob hisses, “How would I not be sure if I had a boyfriend?!”

Seth gives him a level look, with a glint in his eye that makes Jacob apprehensive.

“You didn’t kill him on the spot.” Seth says, suspiciously, “And he’s a bloodsucker, like you said. You know him.”

“We’re in a grocery store!”

“Practically empty!” Seth counters, “no one would really see, are you going after him?”

Not a bad idea!

“No…” Jacob says.

“Then I’m telling.” Seth says. Jacob tries to give him a hard stare, but Seth makes a face like he’s already won.

“How much?” Jacob asks, and he’s reaching into his pocket.

“Fifty.” Seth says smugly.

“No.”

“Make that 100.”

“That’s not how this works!” Jacob protests.

“100 and a PS4.” Seth says.

“PS4.” Jacob says without thinking, and his head snaps up to take it back but Seth is already interrupting him before he can speak.

“And you buy me Bang Energy!” Seth says gleefully. Jacob gives him a withering glare.

“You take one bang energy and that’s fuc-dging it.” Jacob yanks the second six pack out of the cart and places it haphazardly in the aisle where it didn’t belong.

This is a section of a bigger slow burn Twilight Jakeward fanfic where me and my body double collaborator who's roommate write a Gay Twilight Fanfic as a joke. Double Sike! It turned semi-serious and now is an actual work in progress fanfic with nearly 30,000 words and three months of time sunk.

Read it here! https://archiveofourown.org/works/55266253/chapters/140190751

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that-one-weeb-buts-its-the-main · 2 years

Note

Hi! Sorry to bother you but I was wondering if I may request something for Father Figure Frank Castle? May I request Father Figure Frank Castle/The Punisher x Archer daughter reader (shes like Kate bishop) 100% platonic

Frank Castle

W/ Archer Daughter

Reader: female

Type:Headcanons + short scenarios

Notes: Peter, Kate, Pietro, Clint and Green arrow Cameo

Warnings: none

░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░

He actually thought it was funny at first

Seeing you with such a weapon,

But when he sees you use it

Frank's impressed none the less

And is also glad you can protect yourself

Goes to all your tournaments even if he's gotta hide a bit

Definitely helps you set up a scope on your bow

Only allows you to come along for "missions" if you stay far and out of sight

Haha bow Sniping time

Fought Kate Bishop and Hawkeye?

OH ABSOLUTELY

You wrecked both of them 101%

That was till you're all on the same team

You still rocked there shit though

"You're like...super cool and super good looking."

"Um." Y/n spoke, "thanks..."

Basically Matt Murdock and Foggy Nelson but you got bows, and your not lawyers.

Still pretty cool though

I know Pietro, Kate, and Peter time lines don't all line up correctly but we gonna make it happen anyways.

Kate's 101% your best friend, and the only one you only get to talk about "work" to thats not Frank.

When it's just you and Frank you often watched from the roofs, snipping out any near by enemies

You don't exactly have the money to buy arrows or bows, so everythings hand made

He always patches you up after bows you were building snapped in half and right in your face

You're intials are carved into the bows and so are his.

Father daughter bounding; making weapons! Yay!

Yet another mistake in the teamwork section you're knocked over after knocking and arrow and groaning as you lay on you're back

"Bet you didn't see that coming" he laughed, catching a glimpse of the teen your age, he was handsome, but soon he was gone

"Yay..." y/n Groaned, "You better run pretty boy..."

"Y/n?" Clint asked, "What the hell you doing?"

"Pretty fast boy, double take...don't tell dad."

"White hair."

"Yep... " Y/n spoke sitting up, "nope gonna stay down."

So now your introduced to everyone.

You bet Pietro got his ass beat by Frank before though.

"Wait wait! You're in my bio chem class!"

"Peter Parker!?"

"Yeah! Hey!" He laughed nervously jazz hands in the air.

Great: there's more kids now

Clint and Frank being dads against there wills

But you'll always be Frank's #1 priority, it's not playing favorites- well- it's just different

Like burning building? You inside? Runs in

Bullet coming towards you despite having armour? Jumps infront of you

Will use your own bow against you if he has too

What? Found you and Pietro making out on a roof top?

Definitely shoots an arrow way to close to comfort, lucky shots.

You actually teach him how to use it just in case.

God your so bossy when you teach, he actually teases you about it.

He'll never be as good as you.

Archer Teir list:

The best of the best: Hawkeye/Clint Barton

Im basically the best of the best but too young: Y/n Castle

Im just right behind: Kate

Rather just not: Peter, Pietro

Would stab you with your own arrow instead: Frank Castle

What? What's that? Someone trying to make a move on your dad

Arrow

Thats all

Probally fought Green Arrow at some point

Eating things off your arrows, roasted Marshmallows, an apple you skewed, idk a hot dog.

Super unsanitary but you still do it

You're bow because its hand wood crafted by you and ur pops, has alot of carvings in it due to being board

You bet Pietro's initials and yours are carved in it with a heart

For you're birthday Kate actually surpised you with a super super fucking expensive bow

Frank won't say it; but damn did he love that wooden bow you guys made together.

Lots of good memories.

"Oh...kate. it's great but-"

"Oh! No! No! You don't have to use it! It's back up! I know your's is like super special!"

You're heart 😭

Peter also like made you web arrows, which your super excited about

And Pietro felt kinda stupid, he made this little beaded flowers for you for your bow.

You put it on right away and kiss him, but Frank drags you away as you complain.

Frank purposely separates you and Pietro

But now he's stuck between you guys making lovey eyes at one another

And you force him to stay there: he picked this battle: he lost

It's almost like a little family dinner real late at night at some crappy dinner.

You'd never think some wooden sticks and a stick with a string on it would get you so far in life, make you so happy

"Wow can shoot an arrow at a target from 1000 feet but cant make the paper goal."

You're determined to flick that peice of hard bacon inebtween Peter's little finger goal

And when you finally do it the whole tables celebrating you

"Thank you! Thank you! Kiss for the winner-"

"No-"

"Damn it!"

Yeah this is the life: even if it knocks you down sometimes. You're glad Archery's given you thr chance to built more upon the father daughter realtionship you have with Frank

After long missions you'll lay your head either on his shoulder on in his lap he tell you: "you did good kid. You did good kid" always makes you sleep easy

Say a bad dream happened: like you almost lost him, so you're 17 year old ass will go check on him and end up just sleeping in his bed with him he's holding you proactively

Even if you're 80 years old your still his little girl.

And he knows. He knows you can protect yourself, bow and arrow and all.

It doesn't stop him from wanting to protect you.

#frank castle x female reader #dad! frank castle #frank castle fluff #frank x reader #frank castle #marvel frank castle #marvels frank castle #marvel x reader #marvel headcanons #frank castle x reader #daughter reader #frank x daughter reader

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lifblogs · 8 months

Text

Thanks for the tag @vanillachip10!

what book are you currently reading? The Silmarillion by J. R. R. Tolkien, Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins, A Soul of Ash and Blood by Jennifer L. Armentrout, Dracula by Bram Stoker, and Moby-Dick by Herman Melville.

what’s your favorite movie you saw in theaters this year? Puss in Boots: The Last Wish! Can't really go to theaters anymore.

what do you usually wear? Currently, basically living in pajamas. Shorts and a cat t-shirt. I do like to wear dresses though, especially since they're less painful to change into than pants.

how tall are you? So I was 5'3 when I was 20, right? Recently found out I'm 5'4 and I'm horrified. Take me back! Shrink me!

what’s your star sign? do you share a birthday with a celebrity or a historical event? Aries, and I share a birthday with Cobie Smulders who plays Maria Hill in the MCU, so that's pretty cool. Ooh, and apparently Adam Scott. Also found out about this while looking it up:

1974 U.S.A. - 148 Tornadoes

1974 : 148 tornadoes hit North America from Georgia to Canada within 16 hours and at times there were as many as 15 separate tornadoes on the ground at one time. The Super Outbreak affected a total of 11 US states and Ontario in Canada.

The irony. I'm terrified of tornadoes.

do you go by your name or a nickname? I have a close family nickname that I have tried going by outside of family, and my god it feels weird. Since I'm bed-bound, currently just hearing a lot of Li, and Li-Li. I have tried going by Lif just a little bit, but I'm too terrified to really try.

did you grow up to become what you wanted to be when you were a child? lmfao Gonna just laugh my way off stage and the lights go out.

are you in a relationship? if not, who is your crush if you have one? Nope, but would weirdly love to be in one right now. Probably because of the loneliness. No crush, but I basically got a crush on any tall person I see.

what’s something you’re good at vs. something you’re bad at? Fantastic at writing, I believe. Bad at art, which I could work on since I have the talent, but meh.

dogs or cats? Cats live in my soul. My son is a cat. I do love animals though, so dogs are great. They're just not my kitties.

if you draw/write, or create in any way, what’s your favorite picture/favorite line/favorite etc. from something you created this year? Possibly this line: "Sokka didn’t want to be a soldier anymore, didn’t want to defeat the Fire Nation. He just wanted to be in his dad’s arms, warm despite howling wind outside and temperatures that would freeze his nose off if he was out in the cold for more than two minutes. He wanted home, he wanted peace."

what’s something you’d like to create content for? I'd perish if I got to work on Good Omens.

what’s something you’re currently obsessed with? Oh, too much. Good Omens. Somehow still Supernatural. Tales of Arcadia. Teen Wolf is sneaking its way back in there. The Lord of the Rings. Always Star Wars.

what’s something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year? Healthcare.

what’s a hidden talent of yours? Dolphin impression.

are you religious? Buddhist, and not as devout as I should be.

what’s something you wish to have at this moment? Healing.

Sorry, not tagging anyone. Just really not feeling well.

#tag game #about me

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alexhornefan · 1 year

Text

My Secret Life: Alex Horne, 33, comedian

Saturday 17 March 2012 LINK

The household I grew up in... was very male. I've got two brothers and there was a male dog and two male cats and every family we knew had three boys. Great for us, slightly less great for my mum.

When I was a child I wanted to be... embarrassingly, the great novelist. Or a respected charity worker. I still think both might come true.

If I could change one thing about myself... I would be better at accents. I am genuinely good at copying people's handwriting, but that's less help on stage.

You wouldn't know it but I am very good at... I am almost incredible at table football. It's nothing to be proud of.

You may not know it but I'm no good at... reading books – even though I've written two and want to write the best in the world.

I wish I had never worn... At my dad's 50th [birthday] I wore a kilt. I'm a quarter Scottish but that's not enough to warrant wearing a kilt at any point in my life.

At night I dream of... my next show. They tend to go quite well in my dreams. And then I do the show and it doesn't go quite so well.

What I see when I look in the mirror... Not enough wrinkles. I'm worried that, at 33, it reflects a life that's been a bit boring.

My favourite item of clothing... Bowling shoes. They're from eBay but people think I've stolen them, something everyone wants to do – I quite like that they give me that air of recklessness.

My favourite building... This is vaguely soppy – it's All Souls Church by Broadcasting House. I met my wife on the steps of the church before our first date.

Movie heaven... Any Bond film.

My greatest regret... Supporting Liverpool football club. I wish I'd supported the club where I grew up so I would have a good reason to be fanatical.

My secret crush... Vorderman, I'm afraid. I'm a big Countdown fan. I was on it a few years ago, and she lived up to everything I had expected.

My real-life villain... Meddling execs, especially in TV.

The person who really makes me laugh... My two-year-old son, Tom. He will insist on eating a meal with a box on his head because he's a robot and then get upset because it's difficult to eat food with a box on your head.

The last time I cried... My son Barney's birth, Christmas day 2010. It was happy crying. But it kind of ruined Christmas!

My five-year plan... Everything goes out the window slightly with kids – we've written off the next 20 years.

My life in six words... Not wasting a very lucky life.

A LIFE IN BRIEF

Alex Horne was born in 1978. He studied at Cambridge University where he was a member of the Footlights. Horne made his Edinburgh Festival debut in 2000 with his show How To Avoid Huge Ships. He continues to tour as a stand-up, and also fronts 'The Horne Section', a live jazz comedy showcase. He has published two books, Wordwatching and Birdwatchingwatching. He lives in Chesham with his wife and sons. Horne's latest show, Seven Years in the Bathroom, is at the Soho Theatre tonight and tours in April

#Alex Horne

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wiypt-writes · 2 years

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Rock ‘n’ Roll People, In A Disco World

Chapter 16- Disco Inferno

Summary: Siblings squabble sometimes, right?? Well, the Diskant ones do, and it’s driving Paul mad!

Warnings: Language, adult themes, kids being little turds, smut (NSFW) 18+

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar the reader and any other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

W/C: 5.7k

Rock And Roll People Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Chapter 15 Part 2

“Stop it!” “No, yous!” “That’s mine!” “No is nots!” “Daaaaaaaaad!” The yell rang through the house and Paul groaned, glancing up at the clock on the wall in the kitchen. “Ten minutes…” he grumbled, referencing to himself the amount of time his two boys had managed to go without an argument. He placed the knife down, on the side and with a groan he left the lunch prep and stalked out of the kitchen, Woody hot on his tail. "What is going on now?" Paul grumbled as he poked his head in on his two sons. “Jack stole my Captain America figure!” CJ yelled, pointing at his younger brother. “No I’s not! Is mine!” "Jack, give it back. Connor, he's two, you have to give a bit, pal." “He broke my last one! “Alright, look, this is what we're gonna do, we're gonna have lunch, Jack's gonna nap and Connor, you can have quiet time and color." Disco’s nerves were shot already. It had been a very long day and it wasn't even noon. You'd gone out to shop for your upcoming parent only getaway to Mexico and Paul was home with your now two year old Jack and near five year old Connor. “No nap!” Jack tossed the offending action figure on the floor and folded his arms as he glared up at his dad. "Oh you're napping, if I have to tie you to your bed." Paul snorted. "Let's go finish lunch," he snatched the action figure up from the floor and carried it off with him. “Dad! That’s mine!” CJ followed him, protesting. "Not right now its not!" Things in the Diskant home had been relatively good since CJ had adjusted to being a big brother. And for six months or so, life had been reasonably quiet. You enjoyed your part time desk job at dispatch, pulling regular 8-4 shifts three days a week, and Paul had settled into his new role following his promotion. Connor was set to start kindergarten in the fall and Jack was off to nursery school for the first time. Since his arrival, he'd bounced between your parents and Paul's or in the care of your own arms and his father's on days off, just as CJ had...but, there was no escaping the fact that he was twice the trouble and terror that CJ had ever been. It started around his first birthday. An incident with Woody had startled you all when Jack decided to pull his tail rather defiantly after being told not to by Paul, and the elderly pup growled and moved away. Then you'd find toys in the toilet (usually CJ’s), your phone in the garden soil and various items from around the house submerged in different forms of liquid over time. Then, four weeks ago there had been the incident with the permanent marker when both of them had decided to draw whiskers on Paul, and colour in his nose. Both boys found themselves in trouble for that...and you had nearly burned Disco's face off with rubbing alcohol to get the ink out. Jack was your fire starter, your trouble maker. But you didn't love him any less and despite Paul's gripes and swears, he too loved that little boy like no other. They shared a bond, a special thing. It was different than Paul and Connor, and that you loved. That his relationship with both boys was unique and very loving. You guessed his bond with Jack had a lot to do with how he came into the world, a sweet moment despite the chaos as Paul delivered his son. A cheeky giggle drew Paul’s attention as Jack ran into the kitchen, Woody instantly stepped away and moved towards CJ. “See, even Woody thinks he’s annoying.” CJ grumbled as he curled his hands into his dogs fur. "C'mon, Ceej, stop." Paul sighed as he went back to getting their sandwiches cut and ready with apples and crackers CJ fell silent after a dramatic roll of his eyes and headed over to the table. He hopped up onto his chair. “Daddy? Up!” Jack tugged at Disco’s shorts. "Hang on, Jack." Paul sighed. “Otay.” A minute later, Paul placed two plates onto the table. “Thanks, Daddy.” “You’re welcome, bud.” He ruffled CJ’s hair before he lifted Jack up into a chair. "Dangles!" The youngest Disco ball squealed as he saw his sandwich decrusted and cut into four little triangles. “Yeah, well you won’t eat ‘em otherwise will ya?” “Nopes.” Paul chuckled and shook his head, grabbing his own plate and sat with his boys. He took a big bite of his turkey and swiss, watching his sons as they too ate. The table was fairly silent, other than Jack’s hums of approval as he tucked into his plain cheese, CJ’s own sandwich a smaller replica of his dads. “Daddy?” “Yeah, Ceej?” “Please can I have some more pickle?” Paul chuckled at the request, "just like Mommy," and slid away from the table. “I has some?” Jack piped up. "Sure," Paul shrugged, "try one." He brought the jar back and fished a few out for CJ before he handed a small slice to Jack. The tot took a nibble and then a bite and made a sour face. "Das yuck!" “You don’t like it? That’s okay.” Disco took it back off him and popped it in his own mouth, “well done for trying it though, buddy. Hi-five.” A chubby toddler hand slapped his and he grinned. The rest of lunch passed quietly, both boys eating and talking with their dad. When done, Paul pretended not to see the piece of crust that CJ passed to Woody. Connor went to his room for quiet time while Paul took Jack to his and prepared to get him ready for his nap." “No sweep!” Jack protested, “spwash!” "Nope. Nap then swimming, pal." Paul sighed as Jack became fidgety. “No!” "Jack." Paul used his dad tone of voice. “No wike you! No wike sweep!” "Keep it up, Pal and you won't swim while Woody and CJ do." Jack glared at Paul before he threw his head back in a loud yell, “no fair!” "Life's not fair, bud, but you're not going to get one on me today." Jack gave another yell of protest and Paul then decided it was time for the ace card, “If you carry on, imma ring Grumpy and tell him you’ve been a naughty boy.” Jack's little eyes that matched your own went wide and his fit stopped. "No Gwumpy." “That’s what I thought.” Paul snorted, “now come on, bud. Just a nap, then when you wake up we can swim, okay?” "No wike it." Jack groaned as he rolled to his side and snuggled his bear close. Paul sighed and shook his head. He checked his watch, knowing Jack would be out in ten minutes. He stepped quietly out of the room, closing the door and turned to see CJ in the doorway to his own room. “Daddy?” He whispered, knowing he had to be quiet when it was Jacks sleep time. "Yeah, Ceej?" Paul turned and crouched down to his eldest. “Now Jack Jack is sleeps, can you helps me with my Lego?” "Yep, we can build Legos." Paul stood and walked into Connor's room with Woody laying right on the floor next to them. “Woah buddy,” he looked at the half built castle, “you do this by yourself?” CJ nodded, “I dids some yesterday when Jack was being naughty and you and mama had to clean up.” Paul looked over the elaborate construct of the building his near five year old out together. He was impressed at how the walls were up and the towers were even. Connor loved building since his first Duplos and blocks around Jack's age. “This is really cool, Pal!” "Thanks, Daddy!" Connor smiled, "wanna help me add more?" “Sure thing, you show me what to put where.” “Okay, Daddy!" Before they knew it, an hour had last and the building was almost complete. "Daddy, can I have a snack?" “You hungry already?” "Just a small snack, please." Paul narrowed his eyes before he chuckled. “Apple and peanut butter?” "I had apples with lunch, can I have granola bar?" “You negotiate like your mother.” He snorted, “fine, one granola bar,” “Thanks!" “Okay, let’s go.” “Wait, Daddy, we need to move my model off the floor.” “Good thinking,” Disco nodded and picked it up, placing it up on the side next to his TV. “That okay?” "Yep, thank you!" CJ smiled brightly and headed downstairs. Paul settled him in the lounge with a granola bar and a juice box, grabbing a soda for himself and he checked his watch. He had another hour before Jack would most likely wake, or need to be woken, so he turned to CJ, grinning. “Wanna watch the next episode of The Great British Baking Show? I saved it so we could do it together.” "Dad! That's yous and Mommy's show." Connor joked. “Oh…so you don’t wanna watch? Because Grumpy said you and Nanna watched three episodes the other day.” "Shhhh Daddy, das a secret." “Well, I won’t tell if you don’t.” "Okay," he snorted. Woody hopped up onto the sofa with a sigh, his head flopping into CJ's lap as Paul selected the episode from the recordings on the sky box. Soon, the two of them were engrossed in the programme, and it was only when Woody’s head jerked up, ears pricked that Paul realised something was up. And then he heard a crash from upstairs. “Daddy?” CJ looked at him and Paul inwardly groaned. No one else was in the house. Apart from the two year old tear-away that was supposedly napping. Paul bounded for the stairs and Woody was fast behind while CJ ran after them both. The door to Jack’s room was open, but more to Paul’s annoyance- and CJ’s horror as he gave a yell- was the one to CJ’s room: Paul strode over, and stopped dead as he looked at Jack who was stood, the destroyed remnants of Connor’s Lego masterpiece on the floor round his feet. He looked up at Paul and grinned, “Hulk, smash!” Connor pushed into the room, Paul quick to fist his hand in the back of his T-shirt to stop him. And then his eldest burst into angry tears and Paul let out a groan. “Ceej…” “He broke it!” CJ bawled, his face red, “he breaks everything! He’s horrible!.” “Hey, look, buddy…” Paul sighed as he crouched down, “me and you can fix it later okay? We can stay up late and-“ “Whys. Does. He. Have. To…” CJ hiccupped, his words punctuated by sobs, “touch. My. Things? This is my room!” "Hey... Hey... Hey, C'mon pal. I need you to take a deep breath and listen to me, okay bud? I'm going to handle this and then tonight we are going to fix it." CJ sniffed as his tears continued and Paul reached up to wipe his tears away with his thumbs. “Take Woody and go wait in mine and mommy’s room for a minute, okay? You can put the Tv on.” CJsaid nothing but turned on his heels and headed out, the German Shepherd walking next to him. Paul turned to Jack, "you're in big trouble." “Why?” “Why do you think? You know you are not allowed in here unless CJ says you can come in!” Jack blinked and shrugged, “I wants to.” "No, Jack! Just... No. Now we need to pick this up so your brother can fix it later." “Nopes, no wants to.” "You... You don't want to? It's not a choice Jack. You're cleaning it up and you are not going swimming." “Yes, spwash!” Jack yelled and stamped his foot. “We spwash!” "Nope. Not happening." Paul grabbed a handful of Legos and dropped them in the bucket Jack looked at him, and Paul could see the cogs turning in his brain. Then, he knelt down. “Otay, I halp.” "Thank you but you're not going swimming. No way.” “I halps!” Jack repeated. "You still were naughty." “I sowee.” "I know you are but that doesn't make it okay. No swimming, which means your brother can't because I can't leave you alone. So well done-“ "We can't go in the pool?" a small voice cut across Paul’s and his head whipped round as Connor came back in, still visibly upset. Paul groaned, “buddy, Jack is absolutely not allowed, he needs to learn his behaviour has consequences. But I can’t leave him in the house on his own which means we can’t until-” “But why do I gotta gets punished when he is the one that’s naughty!?” CJ’s lip wobbled again. "Connor, you're not in trouble, buddy," Paul sighed. "We're just moving things around so your brother is watched too.When mommy gets home, me and you can-“ CJ sniffed before he turned and stormed away, “he ruins EVERYTHING. I HATE HIM! And I dont’s wanna live here wiv him any mores! Take him back!” Paul's jaw set as his teeth ground into his jaws, "Connor James, apologise for that right now.” “No.” “Then there is absolutely no pool for you either." “Fine!” came the yell back, “I don’t wanna go in the stupid pool!”

“Connor! Enough!”

"What in the world is all this commotion?" There was so much noise going on between the tears and fighting and screaming that your husband nor your children heard you come home.

CJ hurried down the stairs to you, tears in his eyes. “Mommy…” You swooped your big boy up in your arms, "what's wrong, baby?" “Jack brokes my Lego castle and now Daddy says I can’t go swim!” "No, I said you can't swim because you said you hated Jack and didn't want to live here anymore." Paul grumbled as he turned to you and CJ. “Because he is here!” CJ sniffed "Rough day, huh, Stud?" You sighed sadly. Paul snorted, “it was fine until Kevin McCallister woke up.” "Stop it." Paul groaned, “trust me, that’s the mildest thing I could call him right now.” You looked at your youngest in your husband's arms and your oldest in yours and sighed sadly. "Connor, what have we told you about talking about Jack like that?" Connor sniffed, “that it’s mean and I shouldn’t.” "That's right. I know what Jack did was bad and he knows better but Connor, you have to remember that he's still a lot younger than you. He's going to forget the rules sometimes." “He doesn’t forgets, mommy.” CJ sniffed, “he’s mean! He did that on purpose and now I gets mad and then daddy shouts at me!” "He's two Connor," you sighed. "Look, there's no pool for either of you. Jack is in trouble because of what he did and you're in trouble for the things you said. Tomorrow is a new day and that's the end of it." “Puts me down please.” CJ spoke softly, "Okay." You did as he asked of you and you hung your chin a bit. "It breaks my heart." You chewed on your cheek and kissed Paul's lips tenderly. "You," you looked to Jack, "are a naughty little monkey. Let's go clean up the Legos." “I’ll do it, I don’t wants him in my room.” CJ shook his head. "Fair enough." Paul nodded, watching as CJ slunk off up the stairs. He then turned to you. “What now?" “Give him space.” You sighed, “he’s perfectly entitled to feel angry, Paul.” "And this stinker?" He indicated to Jack, still in his arms who was tinkering with his St Christopher medallion. "He's two, we've done all we can." Paul raised his eyebrows and exhaled, “okay then.” "Now, you get a beer, keep him with me and take a load off. I'll start dinner." “Doesn’t feel right this, Sugar.” Paul sighed as he handed Jack over. “CJ will be breaking his heart up there. And he’s…” he looked at Jack and scoffed, “couldn’t give less of a sh..monkeys if he tried.” "Well, what do you expect to do? He's five and Jack's two. I'm out of options, Stud." Paul shrugged, “no, okay, point taken.” "I'm all for whatever you've got, babe, but honestly lost." “Well, suppose that’s it,” Paul looked at Jack, who was now busy examining your earrings, “we got one distraught five year old and one arrogant as hell two year old. Think I need a scotch not a beer.” "Pour me one too, Disco." You winked. Dinner was a subdued affair. CJ didn’t want to talk much, despite your best attempts. He refused dessert and then quietly asked if he could play in the garden with Woody for an hour before bed. You agreed and kept your eyes on him as you cleaned up the dishes while Paul bathed Jack. When it was Connor's turn for his bath, you helped him wash up and let him play for a bit before getting him out and settled into bed. Paul was still in with a cranky Jack as you led alongside your first boy. “Do you want to come with me to Grammy and Grandaddy Nick’s tomorrow?” you asked him softly. "Just me?" You sighed and gently ran your hand over his hair, “yeah, just you. Jack can stay home with daddy.” "Okay." CJ sighed. You were going to get his story book out when he called out for you, "Mama?" “Yeah, baby?” "I sorry I said I didn't say nice things to Jack." “Thank you for apologising. And it’s okay to feel angry and upset, what Jack did was wrong. But you just gotta think sometimes. Me and daddy don’t want you to hate Jack, he’s your brother. Even if he is a pain in the butt.” CJ giggled before he grew serious again, “I was mad because I couldn’t go in the pool because daddy said Jack no allowed and we had to stay in to watch him.” “Aaah,” you sighed and sat back down on his bed, “I see. And that made you upset and cross, huh?” CJ nodded, “I couldn’t do my swim because he breaks my Lego.” "Yeah I can understand that, Baby. But can I explain to you why?“ He nodded. "So, it wasn't that you couldn't go swimming, not until you said those mean things. You couldn't go until someone else got home because well, Jack is a baby still and he can't be left alone. Just like if it were the other way around. See, if Jack wasn't in trouble, but you were, then he'd have to wait too because while you're older, you can't be inside alone either. It's just to keep you both safe." CJ frowned and then he hung his head, “okay.” "Jack got in trouble because he wrecked your Lego space station, you got in trouble because you said mean and hurtful things about him that hurt Daddy and I." You spoke clearly and softly. "If you waited for Daddy to explain before getting so angry and saying what you said, you'd have been able to swim when I got home." “Okay.” "So, tomorrow is a new day and tomorrow we'll go to Grammy and Grandaddy's just us for lunch and a swim, okay?“ CJ nodded, “okay.” You read him his story and tucked him in tight, kissing his sandy blonde hair out of his face as his tired and deep blue eyes that were his daddy's stared back. "I love you, Ceej." “Love you, mommy.” "Night, sweet boy." You shut the light off and headed across the hall, doing the bedroom shuffle with Paul as he switched you for Jack's room and he to Connor's. Jack laid there on his back looking at the projection of stars on his ceiling. White noise played in the background as he snuggled his bear close. “Oh, Jack.” You sighed, “why can’t you be this quiet all the time, huh?” "Mommy....." “Yeah?” "Nuggle me." “Not sure you deserve it after your behaviour today.” You teased as you gently sat on the side of his bed. "Pease..." “Okay okay,” you chuckled as you leaned back. “I’ll always snuggle you, baby.” You felt his little body lean into yours and you sighed. "You my sweet, naughty boy need to be better with your brother." You kissed the top of his head. "You're only two and it's hard to understand but, you can't ruin his things." “Ceej mad?” "Very, baby. He worked really hard on that." “Vewy mad?” "Yeah, baby, very mad." “Oh…I says sowee.” "I know you did, Jack. And he forgives you. But it still wasn't nice." “I jus wans Legos.” "You wanted to play Legos? That’s what this is about?” “I wants my owns.” “Well, you should just ask, not try and take Connor’s. We can dig the Duplos out of the garage." “Otay.” You started humming and rubbing his back, soothing the rambunctious child to sleep. Soon his little snores hit your ears and you untangled yourself from him, letting yourself quietly out of his room. You could hear Paul’s soft voice as he was talking to CJ, and you headed over to listen at the door. It was a bad habit you had, but listening to him and his boys was something that would always melt you to a puddle. “So you’re going to see grandpa Nick and Grammy huh?” “Yup. Just me and mommy.” "That'll be fun, right, bud?" “Yeah, I can help grandpa wiv his fish tank so it looks as cool as mine.” “Grandpa Nick has a fish tank too now?” “Yups. He likes mine so he got one.” "Well that's pretty cool." Disco smirked. The bond his sonshad with his and your parents was pretty special. "Are you excited to spend a week with Grumpy and Nanny soon?" “Yeah, grumpy let’s me stay up later than Jack coz I’m older.” "Yeah, I bet you like that, huh? You know, one day you're gonna love Jack so much and he loves you, he just doesn't always act like it." CJ let out a sigh but he didn’t reply. "Bub....." “I don’t wants to talk about it anymore.” Paul stifled the small chuckled that wanted to come out at his son's mature response. "Fair enough." The silence filled the room as Paul glanced down at Connor who tucked into his side, his fingers tangled in the cotton of his shirt. He hugged his oldest tightly, listening for the steadying of his breath. "I love you, bub." “Love you, dad.” It didn't take long for him to fall asleep himself and Paul felt his own eyes grow heavy as the house grew quiet. With a little yawn, he stretched before he fell under and stood up, patting Woody on the head. “You staying here, pal?” The eight year old dog merely yawned and lay his head back down on the duvet, his snout resting on the peak made by CJ’s feet. Paul smiled and bent over, brushing the dogs fur with his nose, “good boy.” Eventually Paul knew he'd end up in between both boys' rooms, guarding them and the rest of the house for the night but he always started off his duty in Connor's. It was why his comfy bed lay on the landing, pride of place for their treasured best friend You were in your room, just emerging from the bathroom in a swimsuit when Paul came in. "You up for a little night swimming, Stud?" Paul chuckled and then nodded. "Absolutely. " "Good. I'll get the drinks, you get changed." You grabbed your phone and opened the monitor app that gave you full audio and visual of the boys in their rooms and headed downstairs into the kitchen. You poured yourself and Paul a couple of fingers of scotch onto two tumblers and waited. Less than five minutes later, Paul was joining you. He dropped towels onto one of the Sun loungers that surrounded the pool area before taking the tumbler from your hand. With an exhale of breath he downed his drink in one. "Paul!" You snorted. “It’s been a long ass day, Sugar.” "I'm sorry," you kissed his lips tenderly. "Why don't you turn the hot tub on and I'll get some of those kinks out, huh?" He sighed, “I just can’t get CJ’s face outta my mind, he was heartbroken.” “I know, it's a hard season, we're going to have to figure something out with Jack. They can't not play together, but Jack's also got to learn." “Ceej has more patience than Junior ever did with me,” Paul snorted as he flipped the spa setting on in the newly installed hot tub. “He gave me a black eye when I was three for breaking a toy truck.” "Connor's close, it's not the first time and it won't be the last that Jack's messed something up." “Yeah, maybe.” "I'm at a loss here, honey. I don't know what to do. I didn't have siblings." You sighed as you necked your scotch. “I don’t know either,” he shrugged, “maybe I can talk to dad.” "Might help us," you shrugged. You dipped into the hot tub and sighed. Paul followed you in and settled on the bench, groaning a little. “Anyway, did you get what you needed?“ "I did," you smirked. "Two new suits, a dress for dinner, a couple of other things." “Yeah?” "Mmmhmmm." You nodded. "I also got you a couple of new shirts and a pair of trunks." You slipped behind him and started on his shoulders. He cracked his head to the right, and you carefully kneaded at that faded scar tissue, and he gave another little groan. “What would I do without you, Sugar?” "Be a glorified bachelor with loads of women each week." “Sounds shit.“ "Oh C'mon," you pressed into his neck muscles, "you don't think you'd be living that bachelor life like Barnes?" “No way, babe.” Paul scoffed, “he can’t remember the names of half the girls he’s screwed. Not my style.” "It's one of the things I always loved about you." “What? That I’m not a slut?” "Well..yeah," you thumbed at his scar. “Good to know,” he chuckled "I'm worried about leaving the boys for our trip, Paul." “They’ll be fine with Dad.” Paul shook his head, “he’s the one person Jack daren't give shit to.” "I know." You felt a particular knot release on his left side and he sighed. "Parenting is hard.” “Yeah, but it’s also kinda fun.” "Best job yet," you added. "Things will settle down, sugar. "Paul hummed a little as you continue to massage his muscles. "Jack is just at that horrible age. CJ was a horror at his age too.” “He wasn’t quite as bad.” “True.” "Jack just came in like a hell beast, on a day of infamy and now he's just a little stinker. I hate to imagine when he's older. We're screwed." Paul laughed and shook his head. "God help his teachers that's all I can say." "So we believe in corporal punishment? We should get the out of the way now." “Maybe that’s what we do, send him to Boarding school…” You laughed loudly at the thought of your youngest in boarding school. "He'll burn it down." “Probably burn a normal one down too. Jesus, I can see it now. A call out… some little fucker has burnt down the school…I get there… it’s him.” You couldn't help but howl at the picture painted in your head by Paul's words. It was terrifying and yet comical all at once. You pressed giggling lips to his bare shoulder and sighed. "That's be the worst." “It’s gonna happen ain’t it?” "No, Shhhh don't put it out there," you laughed as you rest your cheek on his back. Your hands wound around his front and trailed up and down his sternum. “He absolutely should have been a Kevin. Or Dennis… the damned menace.” "My baby Jack, he's a..... Yeah, he's a menace." Paul chuckled as he turned and glanced over his shoulder at you. “He has your eyes too.” "But he looks like you.” “Yeah I don’t see it.” "Oh I do." You came around to settle in his lap. "He has your smile, your chin, your nose." You said, kissing each bit as you laid it out. “Poor little shit.” Paul laughed "Not the way I see it. Both our boys are handsome like you." “Well…I managed to snag a stunner like you so maybe there’s hope… that is if Jack isn’t in Shawshank…” "Oh you're really working for those points aren't you, Stud?" “Do I need to?” "Meh, never." He chuckled as his large hands rest on your back. “I love you.” "I love you too, Disco." “I can’t wait for Mexico,” he sighed, leaning forward, his nose brushing at your neck, “our first adult only holiday since CJ was born.” "I know. And a week at that. Margaritas, cabana services, all-inclusive....." He groaned, “Imma drink enough alcohol to fill our pool.” His teeth nipped a little at the spot behind your ear. "Not too much or you won't remember the trip." You shivered. “Sugar, Imma be fucking you stupid every chance I get.” His mouth moved to your collar bone, “Trust me, I’ll remember.” You shuddered and gasped, "I can't wait." “Fancy a preview?” "Yes," you said breathy. His lips slanted over yours as he kissed you slowly, deeply, in a way only he had ever been able to do. You felt a burn and flutter deep through your body. Those gentle hands that belonged to your love held you close, fingers splaying across the wet skin of your back. Lips like the soft petals of roses kissed feather light touches across your jaw to behind your ear as his nose bumped that joint you cooed at. Your own hands slid up to his shoulders, nails lightly scratching at his neck. He chuffed as you traced your way to his hairline. Your knees were quick to settle alongside his hips against the smooth stone bench of the hot tub. His fingers plucked at the ties that held the top of your one-piece around your neck. "You gonna hide this body in Mexico?" “I’m not hiding it…” you protested as you felt the front fall free. “One piece says differently, Sugar." Paul moved down your neck. “It’s got cut outs…” you swallowed as his lips trailed your sternum. Your fingers ran through the shorter strands of hair and then to the lengthier ones atop his head, fisting the locks. In some ways you missed his buzz cut, in others you didn’t. He gave a growl against your skin, his teeth grazing the swell of your breast. You hummed in delight as the edges of his teeth nipped at your skin. You rolled your hips in his lap and he squeezed your waist in his hands. “Want something, baby?” "Yeah.... You." “You got me, Sugar. You’ve had me since the day we met.” His lips met yours again as his right hand trailed from your hip to the outside of your thigh. He squeezed at your flesh and pulled you in a little closer. Your hands dropped beneath the water with a light splash as you found the velcro and tie to his trunks. The water gave a little resistance but you opened his shorts and pulled his erect cock free. His fingers grazed the inside of your thigh, brushing the bottom of your suit to the side. It was tight but there was some give and a knuckle kissed your swollen bud. You shuddered as his fingers gently began to play, the soft sighs and sweet groans flowing from your lips were music to his ears. His mouth kissed at your neck again, before he dropped down a little, chin in the water as his tongue flicked at your nipple. "Mmmm," you whimpered at the feel of the tip of his tongue flicking at you like a snake. You hand still around his shady gave him a little tug and twist. He grunted a little before he quickened his movements, tongue and fingers working in tandem. "Fuck, that's.... Right there.... Please... Please... Please..." He didn’t stop until you cried out his name, shuddering in his lap as your orgasm washed over you. You squeezed him as you tensed and his cock throbbed and pulsed in your hand, his teeth sinking into your skin a little and you sighed as the final wave ran out. “You’re so beautiful when you cum, Sugar…” his voice was low, eyes dark as he looked at you, guiding you to where he wanted you to be. You were boneless, more wet than the hot tub provided and you felt euphoric as you bit your lip, pliant to his touch. With a slow thrust upwards, he slid into you, a grunt and a sigh audible as he did so. "Ugh fuck," you moaned. "That's so good." “Yeah, yeah…so good, baby.” His nose bumped yours as he found a slow, steady pace. Forehead to forehead you rolled with his tilts and thrusts. His breath hot on your face as your eyes bore into his. “I fucking love you. So much, baby.” You moaned and whispered, "I love you, oh God, fuck, I love you more.” “Nah ah, mama…” he gave a harsher rut upwards. “Not possible.” "Fuck, Paul!" You nails bit into his shoulders. “Yeah, sugar… cum again for be baby.” "I'm gonna.... Just.... A little.... More...." His hands gripped your hips as he tilted back a little, his feet firmly planted on the floor of the tub as he thrust as deep as he could go. You snapped after a few good moments and again a cry of his name fell from your lips and Disco chased his own. “Oh, yeah, Sugar…fuck…” He emptied his seed deep inside you as you leaned against him, your forehead dropping to his shoulder as your lips languidly pressed against his scar. “Oh, Sugar…” he sighed, his voice thick "That was so good.... Jesus, that was good, Stud." “Yeah…” he pulled back to kiss you. “It was.” "Mexico gonna be like that?" “Hell yes.” You smirked in a sultry way at the prospects of you and Paul alone for a week on the Mexican Riviera. It sounded divine, a break from everything. "I can't wait." “Me neither.” His nose bumped yours, as he smiled softly. “You wanna get out and grab another drink, settle in front of the TV?” “Just a little longer,” he sighed, kissing you again And that was fine by you.

#rock n roll people in a disco world #paul diskant x reader #paul diskant x you #paul diskant fan fiction #paul diskant #street kings #street kings fan fic #Chris Evans character

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danielle-dna · 10 months

Text

To Shag or Not to Shag? - 8

The pasta was simple, yet delicious. We sat on the small balcony that had an amazing view. I could see the entire city. Of course, we spoke as well. Simon was a great listener. However, it did bother me a little that he wouldn't reveal much about himself. Sure, he told me that he likes football (Manchester United, naturally).

"You can't be serious, love. You've never seen a football match?" It was the truth. "....no? I mean I was never really introduced to it as a kid, so I was never interested." That was amusing to him. "Your dad didn't watch football then?"

Oh no! I have to talk about that piece of shit now?! Well...better sooner than later. "I don't have one." And I left it at that. Please don't be an asshole about it.

The man who calls himself my father left before I was even born. Never really had any interest in me. Not a single birthday card, phone call or visit. I find it odd, how single mothers get more stigmatised for being the parents who actually stayed and stepped up for the kid.

"I see. Sorry 'bout that." Thank fuck, please don't have follow up questions.

"Just you and your mum then?" Fuck. I flashed him a small smile and nodded. "Yeap. Just me and her." Please drop the goddamn subject now. I carefully avoided his gaze. "So tell me something, little nurse. You are 21 and you just finished A-levels? No uni and you already work in a hospital. Bit unusual." Shit.

"Well, I...took a gap year I guess. And I'm not a nurse. I'm nurses aide. You don't need to go to uni to be one." I could see him raise an eyebrow. "But if you only took a year, how-"

"Can we please drop the subject? I still don't know what you do for a living." Great job, dumbass. You just insulted the hottest man that ever laid eyes on you.

He picked up his glass of bourbon and smirked at me. "Guess."

"Say what now?" The nerve... "Guess, little nurse. You have three tries. If you get it, you get to feel even more amazing than the last time."

Oh hell yes, now this is my type of a quiz.

I nodded and stood up. "Where you going, love?" Turning around (making sure my butt was in a nice position, of course), I flashed him a smile and put my hands on my hips. "Look, you are offering one hell of a prize. I am looking for clues, because I hate to lose."

Think, woman, think.

Okay, we ruled out professional chef and anything else that makes less than £35 000 a year. What else is there? There is a gym. Maybe a personal trainer? Doesn't seem like the super social type though. He eats healthy and there is no processed shit in the kitchen. A doctor? Naaah? Too much. Well, he is fit. A surgeon maybe? He isn't a pilot, there is a dress code.

I walked back to him. "Say, Simon, how old are you exactly?" He leaned back in his chair. "28. Going to be 29 this year." Damn. He is way too young to be a surgeon making that kind of money. WHAT THE HELL?

That was when I noticed something underneath his shirt. Before I thought it was just a necklace, but now I can see there is more to it. Two small metal plates. Dog tags. Either he is wearing them as a fashion statement or....

"The army."

Simon stood up and walked towards me. I could feel the seriousness radiating from him. "What?"

I gulped and took a step back. And in that moment it hit me. I am in a man's flat. And said man is taller, stronger and scarier than me.

"What makes you say that, love?" I balled up my hands in fists and took another step back.

"Well, for starters you are very organised, tidy and hella fit. You make good money, but you aren't old enough to be a doctor, lawyer or a CEO. You don't come from money, so not a landlord or an office worker. You make at least £45k a year. The only place that I can think of is the army, but not the regular kind. You are either SAS or some kind of special forces. If you joined at 18, it would give you enough time to have a rank high enough to earn that kind of money."

He tilted his head and stared at me. "Damn it. You are...really clever, you know that?" I had no idea how to respond to that. "I mean, you got all that, just by observing me and the flat? I'm kind of scared, little nurse. You sure have potential."

Now that made me blush. "So, ghostie, you going to give me a wild night?"

#call of duty mw2 #cod mw2 #ghost mw2 #simon ghost riley #ghost smut

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annemiek19 · 2 years

Text

The Case Part 3- Jay Halstead

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 4

You're sitting in an office in the back of the building. Nobody comes here, and that is exactly why it's perfect. Voight made Jay put an entire timeline of your abduction on the wall. It's filled with pictures, new articles and case files. Voight got a special therapist to come in to help you with your memories.

"Detective Halstead and Sargent Voight will be right outside the door. Nobody is going to come in here besides you and me. You are safe. Nobody can hurt you. We have to record it so that we can use it as evidence. When nothing happens, we'll delete the footage. Are you okay with that?"

"Yes," you say to doctor Green.

"Alright, let's step in then."

You step into the room and look around you. There is so much information on the wall.

"Take a look around. See if it triggers anything."

You look around the room. You take all of it in, but nothing happens. No memory is coming back. "Nothing is happening," you say.

"That's okay. Let's sit down and talk about it."

You sit down on the couch that was put here just for this. It made the room a little less cold.

"What do you feel looking at everything on the wall?"

"Angry. Sad. That man did something to me, to these other girls, and we still haven't caught him."

"Why does it make you sad?"

"Because he took the life of 5 innocent girls."

"Only four are dead."

"But he took my life away as well. I don't know what happened to me. I lived my life thinking I was born on May 15th, when it's really May 2nd. My name isn't Y/N; it's Emma. Although I don't think that suits me, but still. I don't remember much from growing up. So yeah, he took my life too. He didn't kill me, but he took my life."

"What is the first thing you remember from when you were little?"

"It's a birthday party. We were baking cakes. I don't know how old I was."

Doctor Green looks at some papers in her hand. "According to your parents, that was your seventh birthday, just a few days before you got kidnapped. Please close your eyes for me. Just sit back and try to relax. I'm going to tell you a few things. Tell me if any images are popping up in your head."

You did what she said.

"The day before you got kidnapped, your parents took you to the zoo. You had the best day. You saw tigers, elephants, and monkeys, and you even got to hold a bird. You spend the whole day there admiring the animals. According to your mother, you said you wanted a monkey for a pet when you were older. She told you that that wasn't allowed. You were sad about that."

Vaguely you could see yourself looking at the monkeys and pointing at a little one. You said you wanted to have it as a pet when you were older. Your mom laughed and said that it wasn't allowed. You could have a dog or a cat, but no monkey. You said you wanted a dog because you could cuddle it and take it for walks, just like a monkey.

"I remember," you quietly said.

"The day after started as normal. Your mom got you ready for school. Didn't want to go; you wanted to go back to the zoo. You wanted to look at the monkeys again. Your mom said she would retake you on the weekend. It got you out of bed. You got dressed and walked downstairs. You had cereal for breakfast, like every morning. That morning, the coffee machine broke. Your dad was running late. You missed the bus, so it was a hurry to get you to class on time. Mom made you lunch, put it in your bag, and you went out the door with your dad. He needed his coffee in the morning since he didn't have it that morning. He dropped you off at the wrong building. You said it was okay and that you could walk to the right building. It was only five minutes away. Your ad sighed in relief, gave you a quick kiss and away he went. You waved at him long enough till he got out of sight. You then started to make your way to the right building. You didn't make it to class. Your teachers called your dad and said he dropped you off at the wrong building, but you could make it on your own. Cops were quickly at your school to look for you, but they didn't find you. They only found a small stuffed animal of a monkey that you put in your bag that morning. You wanted to show it to your friends and classmates. Why did you leave the monkey behind?"

"Because I knew my parents would come looking for me. They knew I would never let that go," you answer without thinking. Images started to come to mind. The moment the coffee machine broke, who is splattered all over your mom, and you had laughed. How did you put the monkey in your bag? You saw a man grabbing you, but he had no face. You dropped the monkey. Next thing, you were in a room without windows.

"What do you see, Y/N?"

"I'm in a room with no windows. It's nice. There are toys, cosy blankets and princess dresses. There is a doll house. I can't see a door either."

"What else?"

"It's all these things floating around. I'm seeing a man with no face. Pictures of a little girl who looks a little like me, but she has no hair. There is a tube in her nose. There is a kitchen that looks old. It smells like dirt. There is again a man, but I can't see his face. It's like he doesn't have one."

"Focus on the man. What is he wearing?"

"A yellow shirt, more like mustard coloured. It's dirty. He is wearing shorts. His socks aren't white anymore, and he pulled them up high. His shoes are untied. He has to tie them, or he will trip over them."

"Is he standing in front of you?"

You slowly nod.

"I want you to look at his face. What do you see?"

"Not much. It's blurred. I can see that he has hair on his face. He tells me not to look at his face, but I say he reminds me of my dad. His head looks just as funny."

"Funny how?"

The top of his head is bald, but there is hair on the sides and the back. I can now see a beard. There are still no eyes, mouth or nose."

"How old do you think the man is?"

"Probably 40, 45. Not much older than that."

"What about the pictures of the little girl?"

"She is pretty. She looks sad, though. Her hair is gone. The tube in her nose has a heart bandage on it."

"Did you see her in the house?"

You shake your head.

"The princess dress she is wearing it's also in the room with the other dresses. The man cries when he puts me in the room. He always called me Senna. That I would be his little girl forever." You feel something wet on your cheeks; you're crying. You open your eyes and look at doctor Green.

"Was there something that made you uncomfortable?"

"The whole situation. As far as I can remember, he never touched me. He never did anything to hurt me. He fed me, tucked me in at night and read stories to me. He even let me watch tv. I never went outside. The room had no windows. I think I know what is going on…."

#imagine #one shot #jay halstead one shot #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead #Jesse lee soffer #Jesse lee soffer one shot #Jesse lee soffer imagine #chicago pd one shot #one chicago #chicago pd

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caxycreations · 4 months

Text

The Year in Review

So, figured I'd list the pros and cons of the year, things I went through both good and bad, and cap off with some hopes for the next.

January

Was stuck living with my Ex, miserable, sharing a room with his dogs

Was getting closer to a couple people, feelings building

Got to see one of them and had my first ever time actually, genuinely being treated to pure, unfiltered, sincere kindness at the hands of someone who cared with all they had

Was mostly working on vrchat avatars since I couldn't stream

February

Got out of my Ex's house, moved in with my Dad.

Was able to stream again, so started doing that.

Tried, and failed, to get back into driving.

Tried, and failed, to get into exercise.

Tried, and failed, to eat healthier.

Tried, and failed, to drink less soda.

Was dating the two friends I'd been getting closer to in January, happiest I'd ever been relationship-wise.

March

Still living with Dad, realized he wasn't making any effort to improve his living situation and it was actively limiting my ability to improve mine.

Arranged a visit to see one of my partners in May.

Tried, and failed, to get a job, multiple times.

Started writing again.

Started drawing again.

April

Situation with Dad got worse, thought about moving in with Mom but didn't.

Arranged a visit to see my partners in July.

May

Took a trip to see one of my partners for my birthday. Best birthday in a long time, and still a golden moment in my memories.

Got back home, realized how useless my efforts to make living with Dad viable were. Arranged to move in with Mom.

June

Moved in with Mom, had some major adjustment pains but overall worth it at the time.

Started feeling more secure in the relationship with my partners, moving past some old traumas

July

Visited my partners, got to celebrate 4th of July with them

Got to try fem clothes for the first time, and even got some furry merch (ears, paw gloves, belt-clip tail) to dress up in, thanks to a trip to a furry con.

Finally felt fully and truly secure. Had an idea for a future, clear steps on how to achieve it, and two wonderful people that not only made it feel possible, but motivated me to reach for it.

August

Nothing much happened.

September

Partners explained that one of them no longer saw a romantic future with me, and the other felt I needed to work on myself more before we could pursue anything. Broke up. Shattered everything I'd worked to improve about myself.

Spent most of the month numb, despite making a few new friends.

Dove into my writing, trying to disappear from this world as much as possible.

October

Had a halloween movie marathon month. Watched 1 or 2 scary movies every single night of October with my ex-partners, still on good terms just lots of heartbreak in my soul.

Got even closer to some of my new friends, such as Allubillis, @that-one-enby-onyx, and @moremysteriesthantragedies who were both more significant to the stability of my mental health at the time than I had any right to ask for, and probably don't know just how much they helped me by just being there for me. Well...didn't know. Mysteries and Onyx will now.

Halloween sucked, was just me sitting in my room while mom took my brother trick-or-treating, didn't even get a chance to dress up.

Started talking to my friend, Fox, about living together so we could help each other.

November

Got closer to my friends, spent more time with them, improved my streaming schedules.

Started a proper schedule, conditioning myself to keep a good sense of time.

Started exercising consistently, what limited ways I could.

Continued talks with Fox to see about moving me in with her so we could both work on improving our situations, together.

December

Finalized plan to move in with Fox, planning to move in February so I could be with my family for christmas, and spend my mom's birthday with her before I left.

Plan was interrupted by mom suggesting a Tiny Home on the property here or at Dad's, with her husband offering me a job working alongside him.

Considered it for a week, then she spent the entire second week belittling me, verbally abusing me, and showing just how little she cares.

Made the plan to move in with Fox official, expediting the date to the earliest possible time, late January, forgoing the decision to wait until Mom's birthday at the end of January, but still staying for Christmas.

Visited my grandma for Christmas, got to see her for the first time in months. Beforehand, adjusted moving plan to account for a detour to visit her on the way out of here.

Got to see my ex-fiance for the first time in years, still on amicable terms. Got my first hug from anyone since the trips to visit my partners, and coasted on the feeling of it the whole rest of the night.

Hopes for the New Year

Hoping to readjust to driving, get a job, eat and drink healthier, exercise more, and be, in the words of my ex-partner...

Unashamedly me.

#new years #new years eve #new year

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obey-me-apocalypso-official · 2 years

Text

Obey me: Apocalypso as husbands

Conquest

Never takes off his wedding ring. Ever. He's so proud of it!!!

Shows it off any time he can

He owns a lot of fancy rings already this one is just gonna be equal if not better

He thinks diamonds are boring. Also they're only pricey because people control the rollout on them anyway?? He'd rather have emerald, ruby, sapphire... something more interesting on em.

Soo yknow ppl who are like "it's not about the money it's about-"

Yeah he's gonna just make it

Whatever you want? He provides...

But he also doesn't want to make this just a huge flex and event for everyone he kinda just only invites his 'family'?

Any paparazzi will have their asses handed to em

Yeah yeah idols shouldn't date buttttt their contract isn't like most idols's. They're admittedly kinda more of a band than they are idols.. and Ezekiel doesn't really care too much what they do so long as it doesn't hurt their public image too hard

Like they can drink get laid and gosh diddly darn marry your ass

He still does fanservice you better not be jealous (or if you are, continue, he finds it funny)

Yeah honestly if you're dating this man you should already not be expecting this to be 100% 'you are the only woman/man for me💓' cuz... well you are, but you're not the only one around him.

He keeps his fake flashy persona on at all times when interacting with people and it's not gonna change just because of a ring on his finger.

What IS gonna change is that only YOU get to see Conquest in ways no one has. Only YOU can find him wide awake at 2 am trying to get some recipe he's struggling with right. Only YOU can catch him dozed off, hair a mess, drooling all over his work-

Only you get to see Conquest as himself and not as the leader of Apocalypso and honestly if that's not special idk what is

Also yea he'l fanservice but he won't actively try anything with anyone.

Butttt yeah you better not be jelly easily

He'l casually flirt with his fans but then give you 200% more attention

And if you don't like it you're free to interrupt tbh he thinks it's hot.

Wants a daughter he wants a daughter so badly god help him.

Screw having an heir. She'l make a fine one even with a vagina 🙄

Like yeah back in his realm it was heavily influenced by medieval time and he should have a son according to that mentality but it's kinda a huge deal that he doesn't want to be like that.

He likes HUMAN culture and humans can do whatever the fuck they want so god damn it all he'l have a daughter if he wants to!! (And he does!!!!)

Married Conquest is so whipped you could do and say whatever you want to em and he'l take it.

At that point Conquest deals with failure less extremely and he'l be softer in his responses

Especially with his kids he doesn't want them to have the pressure he grew up with.

Heck he encourages them to mess up (oh no)

You know him, you know how he works. So you call on his bullshit when it happens... good for you. Don't let yourself be manipulated again.

You have 'touching his horse' privilege!!! (Usually anyone who does gets the limb which they touched it with decapitated....)

He probably gets his kids one too.

Yknow kids who go "i wanna pony for my birthday! :3" conquest says "bet."

War

He'l take off his ring a lot because he doesn't want to damage it at all

He's so afraid of breaking it or something with all the physical work he does....

You will never have to be jealous with him because he shuts down any advances with a terrifying face and a "i'm married."

He still does fanservice but it's very lowkey

Kids? He wants a boy. Two. Or none, and he wants to be a dog dad

He likes animals. Animals will be part of your household. That was in the marriage contract ok.

Teaches you how to defend yourself because he wants you capable if he's not there

Kinda defensive and embarrassed when it's brought up cuz he still can't believe HE's married to YOU????

His confidence is so boosted ever since. You'l never see War as confident ever as now

You get to take care of his horse

Teaching you how to ride it!!!

His place is yours. You can do whatever you want. As far as he's concerned, you have his whole heart and trust. He would die for you and he likes to believe you would die for him too..

He doesn't get into shady work as much. He's less underhanded..

He still hides a lot from you, to a fault. He tries, but he can't help it. Get used to it..

If you find out whatever it is he's not telling you he won't be mad. It's your right.

He's genuinely always excited to spend time with his family he feels like a huge weight is lifted off his shoulders

Conquest gets to babysit he does Conquest is the favorite uncle.

He and Conquest are still super close so they're both just gonna be pretty present in each other's lives always

Famine

Waaaa husband?? Famine?? BITCH WHAT SPELL DO YOU HAVE HIM UNDERRRR

He sometime forgets to wear his ring. It just doesn't click as something important. Why does it matter it's a metal circle w a rock on it •_• he wears those everyday at work. Why is this one important?

Bring it to him at work he'l be lowkey embarrassed when you chastise him for it

He would wear a suit to his wedding but it would have a trail because he's fabulous ok.

He likes dresses and skirts and trails but also he hates the idea of not having anything fully covered so he'l wear pants too.

Hold his hand up next to yours he'l be so embarrassed

You have control over this man he is your dog at this point. He will never argue with you too much.

Invites Beel to the wedding. When he shows up your husband's all flushed in sheer shame with a "gnhgn.. thanks... for coming......... i guess...."

It's not like he wanted Beel to come okay 🙄🙄

He genuinely feels kinda bad since you helped him realize what a dick he was and all???

Famine's kids liking Beel lmao oh dear.

Anytime Beel's name leaves their mouths Famine gets a rush of fresh hate for the poor demon...

Would timeskiped Famine grow his hair back out or cut it off?? Uhhh unclear. With long hair he'd tie in back in a nice ponytail. With short hair it frames his face so nicely~...

Fashionable asf. Aka judges everyone's choice of outfit

Satan shows up to his bachelor party and Famine is cringing like "okay. We're getting you new clothes. You are NOT showing up dressed like that."

The ring is silver and very simple. He doesn't want anything flashy or classy.

He learns to cook for you!! Like- he becomes decent at it????? And he eats in like- reasonable amounts?!

You might even catch him drooling at some tasty looking food. When you point it out he'l be totally embarrassed only for a moment before grinning genuinely with a "let's get some, i wanna try it."

His kids will not have a fear of insects, since uh. They'l have to grow up around em.

He'l pair up with his kid and place a tarantula in your drawer or something god cannot save you now

To be fair, sir/m'aam, you married the lord of locusts......

Slushies!! Pure, unfiltered sugar!! He's never had something like that?!! He loves it?!! It's so cute. Your fossil cosmic entity of a husband all excited over a slushie... he gets some for his kids too!!

You get to meet his horse... that thing basically raised him and it shows. It seems to treat you kind of the same way.

The horse is shockingly calm compared to it's owner. ...

His kid can bother it all they want

Famine's trying his best and it shows. He's not used to this 'family' thing but he's giving it his best shot for you...

He's happy and that's all he wants

You will never be sick so long as you are with him. Whatever you got, he can cure it.

Death

The relationship will not change that much honestly

It'l be after a while.. and you might catch your husband often seeming to reflect on it

His relationship with eternity is strained for a lack of better terms. He has a hard time with the 'til death do us part' part of marriage 😶

Sometimes he'l cry whilst looking at his ring.......

He can't help it. He's always thinking that one day you'l die... and he can't find it in himself to ignore it

He might become a bit obsessive over it. Maybe he'l want to make you immortal? But he also doesn't want to do that to you.. because immortality is a curse, in his opinion....

Plz comfort him he's so scared of being left alone again.....

You want kids? Wait he thought Thirteen was his daughter

He doesn't like kids. But. The second he sees their faces? Oh fuck. He's in deep...

Any time he looks at them you flash in his mind and he can't help but smile again...

Death cries a lot. Silently and usually behind your back. He's not good at expressing himself and he doesn't want to worry you.....

He also smiles unprompted a lot. You'l catch him gazing at you lovingly a lot before he turns away "hm?? Is there somethin' on my face??" "No." "What is it then??? Hm????" "Nothing... 💕"

He wants cats but cats don't want him 😔

Jealous but in the 'i'm so scared i'll loose you..' way :C

His horse is kind of as aloof as him so...

It's actually sort of skittish. And ghostly. It feels kinda spooky to interact with? But as soon as it sees you it's pretty calm and allows you to pet it

That's how you know you're the one 👁‍🗨👁‍🗨

Ezekiel

He still does not understand so much...

He takes a lot of breaks now to spend time with his beloved 💕💕

Is he still capable of having children after literally dying? Er. Unclear?

I think he'd like to adopt kids anyway

Still busy but tries to make time the best he can

Will never take off his wedding ring?? Ever? He stopped wearing gloves for you 😭

He zones out staring at it sometimes it's so cute plz

He doesn't mind whatever he's having. A boy, a girl. Whatever

Doesn't care what they grow into either. As long as his kids are happy he's happy. His mentality is relatively the same. As long as you're happy then everything's alright.

You have 'touching the death scar' privilege

It's still touchy and he might tear up when you touch because he feels really vulnerable but you may.

His kids get to as well. If his lil ones climb up on his lap and place their hands over his heart he will legit freeze up fcking trembling mind going 'wwowjsodnaknddkfnwkenfkfjkandkcnffkdl'

He's still not the best at showing his emotions or understanding them but he tries ok he tries really hard!!!

These kids will have like 19393 angel uncles oh boy.

The marriage is painfully simple, but classy.

Heck he's not against skipping it and just grabbing the papers

Whenever you refer to him as your husband he kinda just pauses. Slow blink, avoids your gaze "i'm still.. not used to that.." (it's been 4 years Zeke.)

Sometimes he straight up forgets and treats you like a coworker again.........

He still does fanservice but it's because he does it on accident.... like he just took off his sunglasses and brushed his hair out of his face- he didn't MEAN to look like a model????

He leaves you little notes all over in that font of a handwriting of his... ugh... you'l wake up to your favorite breakfast with such a professionally made note saying "i had to leave early. Have a good day, angel."

Any questions his kids ask he'l answer, for better or worse

He has an answer to everything, do not try him

Damn maybe he should have been a philosophy teacher....

His kids have four immortal godly beings as uncles and like a million angels. uhhhhh????

Solomon does not get to be anywhere near the kids-

#obey me oc #apocalypso #obey me apocalypso #apocalypso famine #apocalypso conquest #apocalypso death #apocalypso war #apocalypso ezekiel #obey me x reader #obey me headcanons

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