#and my other family members came over and we had a calm nice day :)

[darksisterswielder]

Eid Mubarak to all my fellow lovely muslims! I hope you have/had a lovely day and that this ramadan you were able to deepen your connection to God, recognize and learn new things about yourself, and that your new insights and thoughts brought about by your fast may help you better and heal yourself in the future ❤️❤️❤️

[desperate-gay]

1v1

Alexia Putellas x fem!reader

“Hi, I’m Kelley O'Hara, and this is one v one. Today I am joined by former NWSL player who now plays for Barcelona and the USWNT, Y/n Y/l/n!” Kelley does jazzy hands towards you while you smile and wave at one of the many cameras pointed at the two of you.

Both you and Alexia decided to take a trip to the states so you could see all of your friends and family and so Alexia could take a break from all the press who followed her around. You both share an apartment in New York in case you’re ever in the US and, obviously, a house in Spain. Kelley asked if you’d be okay with doing one of the interviews she conducts with Just Women’s Sports, and of course, you said yes. You’ve missed her since the World Cup ended, so who were you to say no? Alexia decided to stay back and rest for a bit while you went.

You’re now seated in front of multiple cameras with a few crew members and beside Kelley. The room you’re in is nice and calm, and the window behind you allows the natural light to peek its way in.

“Now, getting straight into it, I introduced you as Y/n Y/l/n, but soon you won’t have that name,” Kelley smirks with a teasing eyebrow while you blush and fiddle with the ring on your finger. “Seeing as your lover, aka the goat of soccer, aka la reina, aka Alexia Putellas, proposed to you a couple of months ago.”

You laugh at the multiple names the brunette presents your fiancé with. “First of all, Alexia is going to be mad at you for calling it soccer and her la reina. Second, yes, my name will very soon be legally changed.” Kelley starts applauding with a bright smile on her face.

“I can’t believe two of my teammates are going to be married to basically the two best female soccer players ever! Mrs. and Mrs. Putellas, then Mrs. Kerr and Mrs. Mewis.” You nod excitedly, hoping for your wedding to approach sooner.

“I remember when you came up to me and Kristie, explaining to us how we couldn’t talk to our fiancé’s about our game plans.” The defender laughs and nods her head, remembering how offended both of you looked. “Me and Kristie are still mad at you for not trusting us.”

Kelley puts her hands in fake surrender before going on to explain. "Well, a couple of us were thinking about how you two are with the enemy, and one of us just had to make sure.”

“A couple of you?” You shout in disbelief, making her look at the camera with a worried face. “Nope, cut the cameras. Interview is off!” You joke as you make it look like you’re taking off your mic. The crew chuckles at your guy’s antics and shakes their heads.

—

After several minutes of talking about why you moved to Barca and how you’ve been over there, you are now down to the last discussion.

“As we all know, you’re with Alexia Putellas, as previously mentioned. A lot of fans want to know how the it couple met.” Kelley’s legs are crisscrossed on the chair while she faces you. “I mean, I already know the story, but gotta give the fans what they want.”

Thinking back, it was a cute little story. A couple of Spanish players were in the states for whatever reason, most likely for conferences, and you didn’t have anything to do that day.

“Well, we all know my bestest friend is the one and only Christen Press, and she’s also friends with the amazing Jenni Hermoso. So when word got around they were in town, everyone set plans to go to this nice club and essentially hang out. I specifically remember after Chris and Tobin dragged me with them when we got there and sat in the round booths, both Jenni and Chris forced me and Alexia in the middle to sit next to each other. We got to talking, and eventually, we went on a couple of dates until Jenni and Christen finally admitted they had been trying to set us up.”

Most of what you say is true, but you leave out some parts to keep it PG. After you both got extremely drunk, Alexia dragged you to her hotel room, where you both had an unrestful night. The next morning, she did explain how she’d love to take you on a date, to which you said yes, and now you’re happily engaged. After you two were together for around a year and a half, Barca had an offer for you, which you quickly accepted. Everyone adored how you moved to the club with your fiancé.

Kelley’s head rests on her hand as she stares at you in a complete trance. “Tell me more.”

You laugh at her words and say, “Umm, oh! Now Christen is my maid of honor for our wedding, and Jenni is Alexia’s. Mapi was not happy about being knocked down to just a bridesmaid or groomsman, whatever you want to call it.”

“I’m a little offended that I wasn't offered the position of maid of honor.” The brunette places a hand on her heart in fake hurt, making you roll your eyes.

“You’re literally one of my bridesmaids. I can just put you as a guest if you want."

“No! No, I’m cool with bridesmaids.”

—

Once the interview was done, you and Kelley hung out for a little bit to catch up. After a while, she offered you a ride back to your apartment, which you gladly accepted.

Alexia is sitting on the couch with Nala in her lap when she hears the fiddle of keys in the doorway. The pomeranian jumps up from her lap and over towards the place where you now stand. You crouch down and pet through her fur.

“Hey, baby.”

“Hola, mi amor.” Alexia makes her way over to you and pecks you on the lips.

“I was actually talking to this one.” You gesture to the dog that’s now panting in your arms. The taller girl glares at you and takes Nala from your arms before beginning to walk away. “No no no no no, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” You say as you press multiple kisses on her lips.

“That’s what I thought.” She mumbles against you and sets the ball of fluff on the ground. Her hands grab onto your hips, pulling you in, and start to wrap around your waist. She nuzzles her face in the crook of your neck while placing feather-like kisses on your skin. “I’ve missed you.”

You wrap your arms back around her, feeling all of your tension go away. “Awe, I’ve missed you too, baby. I know I’ve only been gone for a few hours, but it felt like years.” Your voice is muffled by your face being pressed against her chest.

“I’m glad you decided to sleep with the enemy.” You pull back from the embrace and notice her little smirk.

“You saw the interview, huh?”

The Spanish player nods before hooking her arm behind your legs and lifting you up. “Now, I have been patiently waiting for you to get home so I can get my daily cuddles.”

She struts off into your bedroom and throws you, not so gently, on the bed. Cutting off your complaining, she jumps on top of you, hugging your body and resting her head on your stomach. You shake her head with a smile on your face and begin to run your fingers through her faded pink hair. Her head slowly rises and falls due to your breathing, but it still lulls her right to sleep. Nala jumps beside you and also rests her head on your chest, causing you to smile softly and run your other hand through her fur. There is no other place you’d rather be than with your two favorite girls sleeping on top of you.

[igncrxntripley]

their secret weapon pt. 11

synopsis: y/n learns what happens when she goes behind the backs of two hall of famers. 

a/n: I”M BACK SLUTS!!!!!!!

mentions: overall SFW, some fluff, LOTS OF ANGST, minor descriptions of violence during matches. 

taglist: @thesithdiaries @cassiesgreta @roseheartsworld @theworldofotps @babybatlover @ripleyswhore @auburnwrites @obl1vionblackhart @emogoblin-666 @hereliespumpkin @blxxdshxteyes @neptune-lover @bunnysmyname @i-have-issues-lol @ares-athena @thatonepansexual2000 @witcherfromwallachia @infamousvampcx @christinabae​

“what the hell happened out there?”

it wasn’t long after the chaos ensued in the ring that rhea was blowing up the phones of all four partners. she wasn’t backstage for this particular show due to some travel delays and booking, but she watched everything that went down between the judgement day and edge. needless to say, she was not thrilled and was giving her boys an earful as soon as one of them answered her call. 

the three boys sat in their dressing room, waiting for y/n to finish in medical and trying to calm rhea down over the phone. finn was the first to speak up. “baby, we had no clue she was going to-”

“you had no clue?” she interrupted. “finn, you know how she is! you know she’s going to fight tooth and nail to prove that she’s loyal to us! she’s taken table shots, kicks, why would this be any different?”

damian sighed and ran a stressed hand through his hair, the other hand holding dominik’s thigh to calm his bouncing leg. “okay, let’s just all take a deep breathe.” he said, hoping it would calm everyone down even though he knew that was a long shot at this point. “rhea, amor, it’s my fault.” he said. “i was trying to get her out of there before things got out of hand but she saw finn and took matters into her own hands. i should’ve just been quicker.”

rhea took her own deep breathe and pinched the bridge of her nose. “i’m sorry for freaking out.” she may have been a rock in front of an audience, but when it came to her family, rhea couldn’t help but panic - especially when she wasn’t there. “she’s going to be okay though, right?”

“she was a little fuzzy coming through gorilla.” dom said softly. “her head hit the ringpost pretty hard and she got the wind knocked out of her, but we won’t know anything for sure until she finishes with medics.” he bit his own lip with worry and grabbed damian’s hand, needing one of the older two to help calm him down. “this is edge’s fault. he knew what he was doing when he came out to the ring and started patronizing her. I swear to god the next time i see him-”

“hey, love.” finn shook his head at the younger mysterio and rubbed his back. “don’t even go there just yet.” he wasn’t about to let them make any irrational decisions. sure, they were all pissed; they’d just watched two people that their secret weapon, their princess, adored for the majority of her life and career humiliate her in front of an audience. he wanted their next moves to be calculated...he wanted edge to pay for what he’d done before anything could get out of hand again. because no one messed with the judgement day...especially their newest member. 

--- ---

everyone in the judgement day was lucky enough to be home again, altogether before elimination chamber so y/n could recover from her run-in with edge. she had a nice bruise on her rib and luckily walked away with nothing more than a small concussion, but that didn’t mean her emotions were any less hurt by what happened. 

this was a man y/n watched every week on tv growing up. she idolized the charisma that dripped from him and the way he carried himself in and out of the ring. he was one of the main reasons she decided to even become a wrestler. so when she was only a young newbie in NXT just a few short years ago and she met beth phoenix for the first time, she almost couldn’t believe it when the hall of famers took her under their wing to help her train and perfect her craft. beth and adam brought y/n into their lives and treated her like family when she felt so alone in the industry, teaching her new moves and finishers to only enhance the natural talent she had in the ring. 

as time went on though and edge came back to work on his own career again, y/n felt that relationship start to slip through the cracks. he and beth no longer spent as much time backstage helping her with the little details like getting her warmed up or taping her wrists; it became all about making sure the hall of famer had what he needed to build upon his already lengthy resume. but y/n still wasn’t hurt as much as she was now; she’d practically forgiven it and written the whole thing off as her being dramatic. 

then came the judgement day. a group edge started to give underutilized talent a leg up. a way to give people in this industry the opportunities they deserved and to build upon the already great things they’d managed to do. edge was recruiting former champions in damian and rhea...but y/n couldn’t help but feel a slight sting in her chest when he seemingly looked right past her. the man who helped train her, who told her she had so much potential as a professional wrestler...he wanted nothing to do with her joining his own stable. 

edge threw y/n to the wolves, left her with nothing and no one. she had become satisfied with being looked at as a ‘low-card’ wrestler and grew comfortable with being given all of these empty promises and opportunities. but that changed when four people took her in and gave her what beth and adam never could. of course she still loved the two of them; they were her home away from home, the parents she’d never had. but they crushed her soul little by little, and her four partners were the ones who were going to be tasked with picking up the pieces. 

the sound of dominik coming into the living room broke y/n from her train of thought. she’d been curled up on the couch under a blanket, rhea’s head in her lap and the aussie having fallen asleep long ago during their reality tv binge-watching. y/n smiled up at him, her fingers playing with some of rhea’s hair, and she leaned into dom once he got comfortable next to her. 

“i see we’ve switched from jersey shore to the real housewives?” he teased softly, a tattooed arm wrapping around y/n’s shoulder and his fingers gently rubbing a knot under her skin. “how’re you feeling?”

y/n answered with a small shrug and cuddled closer to him. “okay, i guess.” she said. “thinking too much. what else is new?” she couldn’t help the soft chuckle that left her lips as her focus drifted from the tv to dominik’s gentle face. 

dom hummed. “that’s only going to make your concussion worse, you know.” he kissed her temple, a sense of pride running through his chest as his girl chuckled at another one of his jokes. “what are you thinking about?”

her features softened and she curled into her blanket just a little more, being careful as to not wake rhea. “just...everything that happened on monday. the last few months.” she shrugged gently. “i guess i’m frustrated, that’s all. i’m finally growing into my skin and feeling comfortable in a ring. feeling like i actually belong.” she bit her lip as she sunk deeper into her train of thought. “but he made me feel like i’m nothing more than dead weight. or that it was a mistake for you guys to even bring me into the group.” 

dominik took a deep breathe and gently turned her face to look at him. “don’t let edge get to you, chica.” he said quietly. “this is what he does. he plays mind games with people, he says things to get under their skin, and he does whatever he needs to do to piss people off and get a win over them.” he brushed some hair from y/n’s face. “but he doesn’t know what he’s gotten himself into by coming for us.”

y/n focused on the feeling of rhea’s soft hair slipping between her fingers. while she wanted to believe everything going on in her mind wasn’t true, something still was tugging at her heartstrings and trying to convince her that she wasn’t worthy of the recognition. “but what if-”

“there are no ‘what if’s’, love.” he shook his head. “you’re here for a reason wit us. you’re ours. we’ve fought to keep you apart of this group, this family, for as long as we have, and nothing is going to stop us now.” dom flashed a small grin. “you have four people who would lay it all on the line for you, just like you have for us. edge isn’t going to get in our way.”

she smiled at dominik, her eyes twinkling with love and adoration as she watched dom look at her the exact same way. “what did i do to deserve you guys?”

dominik smiled at her. “you’re you, and that’s all that matters.” he was always a charmer; dom knew just the right things to say to make butterflies go crazy in the stomachs of his lovers, and this was no different. he leaned in and pressed his lips to y/n’s in a soft kiss, but what neither of them saw was rhea slowly opening her eyes underneath them to see two of the people she loved kissing. 

a soft groan left the eradicator’s lips, her arms circling around y/n’s waist. “how rude of you both to leave me out.” she mumbled. 

y/n giggled and pulled away from dominik, leaning down and giving rhea her own kiss. “there. happy?” her question was met with a soft hum, and the three settled back into their positions on the couch to continue watching tv. 

--- ---

montreal, elimination chamber 2023

for the judgement day, this night was going to be incredibly busy. damian was participating in the elimination chamber match for the united states championship, and rhea and finn had their match against beth and edge. this was the last stop before wrestlemania, the last chance to set storylines and destinies in place before everyone got to the grandest stage of them all. the energy in the buiding, especially between the judgement day members, was almost difficult to even explain. 

even though y/n and dominik didn’t have matches for the night, they were probably just as excited as their partners who would be competing. as y/n was in the dressing room with her partners specifically sitting with finn to help him stretch and warm up, she could tell there was something beyond excitement or adrenaline running through his veins. something like...fury. anger. because he was going to finally get his hands on the man who the entire gorup had been after for months, now; he was the man who speared their secret weapon only a few short days ago. he was the man who stood in the ring and said awful things about the rising star he and his wife had a hand in training. all of them were furious with edge, but finn was the lucky one who got to give him a piece of his mind in the ring. 

y/n sat across from finn, wearing a cropped version of the group’s t-shirt and black jeans as she helped tape his wrists. she wasn’t medically cleared yet after taking the spear from edge, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t going to be backstage to support her family; hell, she wasn’t even above going out to ringside to cause some trouble if she needed to. 

even as she watched him, she could see the gears turning in his head. “if you think any harder your brain might short circuit.” y/n teased. she ripped another piece of tape from the roll and used it to make the wrap on finn’s wrist more even. “do you wanna talk about it?” she felt like she didn’t even need to ask what he was thinking about. the answer was going to be evident. it was just a matter of whether or not finn would actually want to talk it out. 

he shocked her though, and let out a soft sigh. “just thinking of all the ways i’m going to make him miserable once we’re in the ring.” finn mumbled. “he’s not going to get away with what he did, you know? i’m going to make him pay. he doesn’t get to do whatever he pleases like that.”

y/n sighed and finished wrapping finn’s wrist before scooting closer to him. “i know you’re upset,” her hands grabbed his. “but just...keep in mind he’s important to me, okay? they both are. i knew what i was doing when i stepped in front of you and took the spear. this stuff happens, finn.”

“that doesn’t make it okay.” he answered. “i know he’s important to you, but i can’t promise i’ll behave once i get in the ring with him.”

she bit her lip. knowing finn, he wasn’t going to let this go. nothing y/n could say in the moment was going to make this any easier or any better for him, so she decided the best thing to do was step away and let him focus. y/n got up on her knees and kissed her favorite irishman on the forehead. “i’m gonna check on rhea.” she said softly, giving him her signature gentle smile. “behave.” 

with her final warning, she was off onto the other side of the room to check on rhea while she stretched with damian. but even as finn watched her walk away and he finally had space to think about what was going to go down that night, the anger didn’t die down inside of him. it only grew. 

--- ---

time ticked by all so fast yet all so slow as y/n stood by a monitor in gorilla to watch finn and rhea’s match. looking at four people she loved more than anything else in the world absolutely tear each other apart was not easy. it actually made her head throb and she could feel the nausea building in her stomach as they hit and kicked one another. 

but even as she watched, she couldn’t help but feel like...like maybe part of this was her fault. 

if she would have ignored the judgement day’s calls and stuck with her loyalty to edge and beth, she wouldn’t be caught in the middle of this. she would have went about her life and things would have been...okay. she may not have been totally satisfied with her place in the company, but that pain was a lot different than her current emotional pain. 

was that option really any better than what she was currently watching? she would have just been caught in the crosshairs of the judgement day for denying their invitations and she would have been an enemy rather than a partner. 

yeah...neither of those sounded good. 

y/n watched the match closely and chewed her fingernails as she did so. she was unsure who to root for, unsure of who to support, but also wanting nothing more than for the whole thing to end so they could move on. she wanted to be ringside with them like dominik was, but not being medically cleared just yet prohibited her from doing so. it was probably for the best, honestly; she wouldn’t be able to hold back if something happened or someone pissed her off. 

her stomach dropped though, when finn found himself locked into an edgecator. she knew the pain of that move all too well from the amount of times she’d trained both sides of the submission, and while finn was strong, she also knew he was running out of gas and could potentially tap to end the whole thing. 

y/n saw black, though, when beth put rhea in the same hold. her family torturing family, two people she loved being in pain all because her idols had them locked in excruciating submission holds...she wasn’t sitting back any longer. she wasn’t allowing them to continue this. 

y/n was going to fight for her lovers. for the judgement day, just like she proved she could. 

without a second thought, she grabbed a nearby chair from gorilla while dominik had the referee distracted and ran down the ramp. the cheers and jabs from the audience almost sounded like white noise, because the only thing she could focus on was making sure rhea and finn had the leg up. 

the entire match had already been chaotic...why not add more?

y/n slid into the ring with no problem, and faced beth and edge with the chair held high. both of the hall of famers looked at her in absolute shock, but that shock quickly turned to rage as rhea and finn watched on with pride. “you think i won’t do it? huh?” she yelled, staring at her idols before hitting the chair off the mat. “i will! try me!”

the referee was trying to get y/n out of the ring, but edge and beth weren’t going to play this game with her. edge started getting closer to her, his face filled with rage. “you need to learn how to mind your business, kiddo.” he challenged. “get out of here before you get hurt again, do you hear me?”

little did edge know, y/n wasn’t going to allow him to to talk to her like a child anymore; she wasn’t a child. she was an adult, who could make her own decisions and who was going to do whatever she wanted. edge and beth couldn’t change that, and they weren’t going to control her every move like they once could. 

“y/n, i’m not going to tell you again.” edge said, his own hand reaching for the chair but y/n not even loosening her grip. the two tugged back and forth at the chair, both of them yelling at one another and not once breaking eye contact, until finn managed to sweep at edge’s ankles to bring him to the mat. 

once he was laying down on the ring, y/n didn’t even think twice. with brooks, she remembered the hesitation that coursed through her body before she sealed her fate as the newest member of the judgement day. but with edge, a man she saw as a father figure, it was totally different. 

before anyone could stop her, that metal chair hit edge in the back as hard as she could manage. he’d probably taken harder chair hits over the course of his career, but the pain was still evident on his face. 

y/n blacked out; sure she could see her partners smirking at her, but the noise around her was almost nonexistent. she had barely even registered the officials coming out to the ring and ushering her out of the way so the match could finish. 

but as she walked back up the ring, chair still in hand, a smirk rested on her face in pride. young y/n would have never done something like this. not to people she looked up to and loved...

but tonight it was made clear. the old y/n was long gone and dead, thanks to the judgement day. 

monday night raw, february 20th; two days after elimination chamber 

what happened only two nights ago was still fresh and clear in the minds of not only the judgement day, but also to edge and beth. y/n was proud of herself for showing what she was capable of and cementing her position in her new family, and going into this inpromptu meeting with hunter, she thought things were going to go really well. 

maybe triple h was going to offer her a new feud? a couple matches leading up to wrestlemania? hell, maybe she was finally in line for a title match down the road!

everyone backstage knew that going into a meeting with triple h, a hall of famer in his own right, was going to end one of two ways; really well, or really bad. and y/n wasn’t even thinking of the second option as a possibility just yet. 

her partners had went to catering while she sat across from hunter in his makeshift office for the day, making small talk with him before he broke it down her for. for the first time in a long time, confidence was shining through and she was actually proud of herself and her recent accomplishments. the old y/n would have never been able to do this - go into a meeting with her boss, feeling as good as she was in the moment. 

but that wasn’t going to be the case for long. 

“y/n, i wanna talk about what happened on saturday.” hunter said, his hands in front of him as he looked at her carefully. “i know you have your reasons, i know there’s a lot of history between you and the people in that match. but that wasn’t acceptable.” he said. “you aren’t even cleared yet, kid. you could’ve hurt yourself.”

“but i didn’t!” y/n said, her brows furrowed. so this meeting was a tongue lashing from triple h? that’s all this was about? “i couldn’t sit back there and listen to edge and beth taunt them, hunter. they’ve been taunting us for a long time, and i wasn’t going to not do anything.” 

hunter shook his head. “do you interfere in a match? potentially get your partners disqualified?” he said. “you know, edge and beth have been telling me they’ve been worried about you for awhile now.”

they have?

“and i didn’t want to think too much about it. i thought you were just growing into your skin on the main roster, that things would calm down, and you’d be just fine.” another man y/n saw as a mentor was looking at her, disappointment ridden on his face. “but they were right. and y/n, i think you need a break.”

a...a break?

“i already called shawn. i want you back in NXT for a couple of weeks until after wrestlemania. you need a break from the judgement day, and they need a break from you.”

y/n’s heart shattered. tears built in her eyes, but she refused to let them fall in front of her boss. but she could barely even say anything to them, as her breath and her nausea was caught in her throat. “y-you’re kidding, right?”

hunter shook his head. “you need some time to find yourself. and you can thank edge and beth for looking out for you and talking to me, because we all agreed this would be good for you.” he said, his own voice unwavering. “i’ve already talked to johnny and candice. you’re welcome to stay with them for the next few weeks. but y/n, i don’t want you talking to the other four while you’re away. when i say you need a break. i mean it.”

her hands trembled and anger ran through her veins. “hunter, this isn’t fair!” she said. “you’re letting edge tell you what to do with my career? h-he started this!”

“y/n, i can guarantee you’ll thank them for this when it’s all said and done.” he said, a sense of finality in his voice. “i’ll talk to your partners, but for now, this discussion is over. you can grab your things and head out for the night.”

so that was it. y/n was being punished for something edge and beth started. she was being punished for sticking up to her idols, for standing up for her family...she had to pay the price. 

without another word from herself or hunter, y/n stood up from her chair and walked back to the dressing room. the tears finally ran down her face, a sob finally left her throat, and her body shook with rage and anxiety. 

no matter how badly she wanted to as she packed her things, she couldn’t find it within herself to contact any of her four partners. while she wanted to call or text them, or run to catering to beg them to change hunter’s mind, she couldn’t. there was too much shame, too much disappointment in herself to face them. 

all y/n could manage was to leave her purple bandana, something that marked her as one of their own, on top of damian’s bag. it was almost as a way of apologizing for what was happening; a way of saying to them, “i’m sorry i caused this.” or “i’m sorry i wasn’t enough.” not only that, but she left it as a goodbye for the next couple of weeks. 

she left the dressing room, trying to clean up her face and didn’t once look back. the normally busy hallways before a broadcast looked incredibly bare, incredibly quiet...except for one voice that rang like a siren in y/n’s ears as she made her way to a rental car. 

let me in, little one. 

[deathmetalunicorn1]

Hello, and happy easter everyone! ^^

I don't know if you remember the autistic teen!reader request with the ROR family, and I certainly haven't made another request in a while, heh. Anyways, I would like to ask for a part two where reader is comforted after overstimulation.

The reason? Too much noise, a harsh heat wave so I was sweating excessively, strong perfume and uncomfortable clothes. I was about to throw up but thank God I finished what I was doing and came back home. Yes, I am projecting once again for my request. 🥲

Thing is, reader locks themselves in their room for about an hour, and comes out seeking for Poseidon and Hades to calm down with silent company at first. I personally think that those two, especially Poseidon, would be helpful in a situation like that (of course, in the ooc context) because they are quite levelheaded and quiet, which is what I need most of the time rather than words sometimes because processing auditory information can be a pain when you are on edge.

So that would be it, just reader sitting in silence with them for some time until they are comfortable to start speaking about what happened, definitely doing any kind of physical stimming, trying to understand the situation and then resume their activities together. Think I made it a bit too long and I apologize for it, haha. Have a nice day! 🩵

-It had been a bit upsetting to see you come in after school without saying hello to any of them, opting to go straight up to your bedroom instead, closing the door behind you.

-When you closed the door, that’s when your family knew that you needed a bit of space, as you never closed your door unless you were upset or if you needed some alone time.

-They knew that, due to you not saying anything, being non-verbal, that you were overstimulated, which was confirmed shortly after, when Eve called your teacher, and found out that there was an assembly at your school that had lots of music. Pairing that with the dancing and cheering, it was easy to determine that you had been overwhelmed.

-It was never the same, when you got overstimulated, with how you were going to react. One time you were better in about ten minutes, other times you had mentally shut down for half a day, another time you threw up, but they were going to be careful on monitoring you, just to make sure you would be okay.

-It was a little over an hour later when you came out, you were quiet, still not talking when you peeked into the living room. They knew not to stare at you, opting for small glances instead.

-Eve approached you with a warm smile, wanting to know if you wanted anything to eat, but you shook your head, not meeting her eyes as you looked around the room.

-You saw Poseidon and you immediately went over to him, lifting your arms up and he reached down, slowly, to not scare you, and pulled you up to sit beside him on the couch, letting you lean against him, but not touching you otherwise.

-Poseidon and Hades were your go to people when you got overstimulated, Hades because he had years of practice, being around for so long, but Poseidon was so patient with you, he would basically let you do or talk about anything, and that was comforting for you.

-Many were worried, not wanting you to get sick, but seeing you holding onto Poseidon’s free hand, as he was reading a book in his other, was a good sign, as normally when you were like this you didn’t want to touch anyone or let anyone touch you.

-Just sitting there, listening to the various conversations, looking at the different family members, a few who saw you looking giving you small smiles, you slowly calmed down even more, slowly feeling better.

-You gave Poseidon’s hand a small squeeze, making him look down at you, but you weren’t looking at him, you were looking at Eve, “Snack?”

-She immediately smiled, offering you her own hand, “What would you like today? Or should we explore our options?” You took her hand, sliding off the couch, looking back at Poseidon who gave you a ghost of a smile before heading to the kitchen where you found Hercules and Loki, eating their own snacks.

-Your family knew that you would be okay, it just takes time and patience, something they’re always willing to give to you.

[blues824]

Hellooo!!! Could I request a Ciel x Fem!Reader where Reader is extremely intelligent and witty. Like she is so smart brooo. She reads HUGE books and can quote almost anything from any book, can solve any math problem, and is literally just a fucking genius. She’s very quiet and very observant too. Please ignore if needed, no pressure at all!<3

love ya!🤍

Love you too! And just so y’all know, this is how I am irl, but it depends. If I’m with people who I am comfortable with, you can tack on sarcastic to the end of the description. We’re also gonna ignore his engagement to Lizzie for the sake of this request.

Ciel Phantomhive

You both probably met at one of the Queen’s royal balls. As the youngest member of a noble family, you had to. It was mostly so your father could find another noble family of the same rank who had an unwed and unbetrothed son for you to be afianced to.

When Ciel saw you, he had to admit that you looked absolutely breathtaking. Oh, how he wished that he could properly waltz just so he could lead you out on the dance floor. But, he opted to walk up to you to start a conversation. Sebastian had the smuggest smile.

“My lady”, he took your hand in his, bowed, and placed a soft kiss on the back of it. You were a bit flustered, but you managed to brush it off. I mean, it wasn’t everyday that the head of the Phantomhive household walks up to you out of all people.

“My lord”, you gave a polite and graceful curtsy. He led you over to the table that held food. He explained that since his parents died, he was never truly given the time to be taught to dance and to excuse him for it. You both got a few sweets on your plates before you stepped aside.

You both had a deep conversation about a case that the Queen had you both working on (but didn’t tell either of you). He was very pleasantly surprised at your competence and common sense, as well as being able to piece together the evidence that he brought to you.

Once the ball was over and everyone was leaving for their carriages, Ciel escorted you arm-in-arm to your carriage to assure your safety. However, before you got in, you leaned towards his ear and whispered something.

I know that Sebastian is a demon.

He went wide-eyed as you acted like nothing happened. You even gave him a peck on the cheek as his butler helped you into the carriage. He made a note to formally invite you over to the Manor the following day so that you both could continue your conversation.

Once he did, you came and you were both locked in his office for hours working on the case. When you visited the Undertaker, he mistook you both as Mr. and soon-to-be-Mrs. Ciel Phantomhive. It was rather embarrassing for the both of you, but it made him laugh 🤷‍♀️.

After a mutual agreement between the two of you, he wrote a letter to your parents saying that he would be glad to be betrothed to you. Of course, the recipients of said letter were beyond ecstatic that their daughter had found a nice and respectable (see: powerful and wealthy) man.

Sebastian often catches you reading many different books in many different languages to Ciel to get him to calm down after a stressful day. Your fiancé is always impressed by the sheer amount of knowledge you store in that wonderful mind of yours.

You would often stick around and help Sebastian with his lessons. You set up a game where for every question he gets right, he gets to choose between receiving a sweet or receiving a kiss from you. I think we all know what his choice is here.

You very rarely get into arguments with each other, but when you do, you’ll wait until you’re both calmed down and you will talk through the issue like responsible young adults. You have both learned from each other and grew more mature with each passing day.

Each and every day, where one goes, they are not without the other in their arm. You both look like a young married couple with how lovingly you both look at each other. The love you have reminds everyone of the love Ciel’s parents had when they were alive.

[hooked-on-elvis]

MY EYES... MY TEARY EYES! 🥹

ABOUT ELVIS AND GLADYS' BOND. ♥

"Watching the snow reminded me of Elvis' mother. She used to say that if snowed in Memphis when Elvis was gone, she always went outside and gathered up enough in a pan to make snowballs for Elvis to see when he came back. She put them in the freezer of the refrigerator to keep. Elvis loved to see it snow at Graceland." Excerpts from "Elvis: This One's For You" by Arlene Cogan.

No wonder why EP missed his mother dearly. There's many types of moms but the Gladys type of mommy is a true blessing - the ones which heart's that almost burst while trying to make you feel their love for you. It's almost a physical need to pour love in their children every way they can. Towards their children, they have all love languages at once: words of encouragement, sound advice, physical touch/cuddles, actions… It's suffocating, but in a wonderful way. Gladys Love Presley was the sweetest mom anyone could wish for. EP was fortunate in many ways - starting from his family - but what a misfortune was to lose Gladys so early in his life. Love is a dangerous splendid thing anyway. It's best to have it and lose it than never being touched by it. Gladys' love for her son was bigger than life anyway. ♥ -- Note: The excerpt from that book reminded me this footage below, where Gladys is playing with the snow with Vernon (C. January, 1958). There's also another book that mentions her saving some snow so that Elvis could see it later when he came back home (i don't remember what book, unfortunately, but I've read this before).

Above, pictures takes in 1957, during "Loving You" movie production. Gladys actually appears on the big screen for a few seconds in this Presley early movie. EP dances next to her while singing "Got A Lot O' Livin' To Do" by the end of the movie… It's so cute!

Photo 5-13: March 23-24th, 1958

Elvis was about to be inducted in the US Army. The photos showing the Presley's alone were taken March 23rd, a day before Elvis' army induction day. On the actual induction day, on March 24th (pictures 11-13), there's footage where EP's hopping a bus together with other fellow guys, heading to the army camp to the beginning of the basic trainning and his 2-year epic journey as Private Presley in the U.S. Army. Gladys was visibly shaken and heartbroken to see her beloved son go away and the reason why. Some family members and friends said Gladys was terrified thinking about the horrors of World War II that she seriously feared for Elvis' life and well-being as a soldier. She never got over it, even though Elvis and everybody else tried to convince her nothing was going to happen, after all they were living at the Cold War period, therefore there wasn't reasonable reasons in being anxiously alarmed. Nothing seemed to comfort Gladys. We know she sadly passed away on August, 1958, a few months after Elvis was inducted in the army. Years later, EP would say to one of his intimate acquaintances "my mommy really worried to death." It's so sad... in a poetic way. IDK what I'm talking about right now… It's like she couldn't live without her little boy, literally. Gladys was so close to her son! The reciprocity is true. She was the only person EP trusted blindfolded, with all his heart, body, mind and soul. Gladys only had the best intentions for her son. She didn't care about the money or fame. She actually asked him many time if it wouldn't be better/safer if he gave up his career and just became a business man, a owner of some local company in Memphis/TN, got married, had his own family, and lived a nice, calm, Southern life. EP used to get upset with that "nonsense" talk, because he loved his career greatly and everything was working out just fine for him... he was in love with his music and his fans. He was born to be the King of Rock and Roll and he worked very hard for it every single day. It wasn't right to chicken up. He wouldn't give it up his career, even for his beloved mommy. Yet, Gladys couldn't help herself but to worry something bad could happen if she was not by his side 24/7. A typical loving mom behavior. Even when she acted overprotective like that and drove Elvis insane sometimes, it was all out of the purest heavenly true love... and he knew it.

Although she was uneasy most of the time, thinking about Elvis' well being, the constant travelling on the road all the time, having tabloids badmouthing him, a portion of American society threatening to put him in jail, crazy passionate fans scratching the hell out of him, trying to touch him to the point they'd tear his clothes off his body, even so Gladys supported Elvis' career and was by his side whatever he decided to do. He knew how blessed he was having her for his mother, and Elvis did his best to protect his mommy's heart - even by hiding some of the bad happenings in his life from her. He wouldn't let anything break her heart... even himself.

Yet, so soon the day came when she was gone. Elvis never ceased missing his mommy.

Shantay Perrish, a dedicated fan shared the following story: "We arrived about 7:00 pm that following evening and were shocked to see Elvis leaving on his Harley with a blue flower arrangement strapped to the rear. I quickly went to the guard house shack and asked Harold Lloyd, "Is that who I think it was?" Harold said, "Yes that was Elvis, but don't follow him." We waited there and he returned to Graceland within the hour. Earlier that day we had gone to pay our respect to his mother at Forest Hill, never thinking of Elvis possibly showing up. The next morning we again went to Forest Hill Cemetery and there on Gladys grave was the arrangement of blue flowers we had seen the night before on the motorcycle. Elvis had been to visit his mother in a quiet personal moment."

Photos and excerpt from the book "Elvis Behind the Image."

This event possibly took place circa August 11th, 1977. A few days before Elvis Presley sadly passed away on August 16th. The photo 1 shows Elvis leaving Graceland that day and the photo 2 is Gladys' grave site with the blue flower arrangement he placed there for his mommy for one last time. Elvis assured to send flowers there often over the years since Gladys' passing, but this time he delivered it there himself. Isn't intriguing, to say the least?

Oh, mama liked the roses but most of all she cared About the way we learned to live And if we said our prayers Oh, mama liked the roses in such a special way We bring them every Mother's Day And put them on her grave Oh, mama liked the roses Mmmm Mama liked the roses

In loving memory of Gladys Love Presley ♥

[c-liffy]

i haven't felt the sun in so long

Danielle x SixthMember!Reader

Notes: Reader is a few months older than Haerin | Reader is implied to not have much empathy | Reader's parents are not very nice

(wc: 3057)

Even if it was inevitable, you just wished you weren’t as young when it happened. You were sitting at your coffee table when your dad got the call. Your mother was at work while you sat at home with your father, coloring at the table, watching a movie with him. You remember how loud it was when he dropped his phone and took your hand; his fingers shaking as he grasped your wrist with a force so tight you cried out.

He took you out to the car and started it before you could even get around to the passenger side. You sat down in the front seat and looked at him for approval. You knew something was wrong when his face was ghostly white and he didn’t even protest you sitting in shotgun. 

When you’re 12, he would usually repeat, then you may sit in the passenger seat. You understood why he held you to that age when he suddenly backed out so fast you had to brace yourself so you wouldn’t hit your head on the dashboard.

He sped down the road at speeds he would normally scoff at and drove with such reckless abandon that you were forced to grip your seatbelt and shut your eyes. You prayed it would soon be over. When he stopped, you opened your eyes and looked around in confusion. The hospital? Why would you be there?

You got out and struggled to keep pace and follow your father into the doors of the emergency room, “My son! Where is my son?” 

“Sir, calm down. Who are you looking for?” A nurse came around from behind a desk,

“My son,” Your father began rambling out details about your brother.

The nurse was silent for a long moment before speaking again, “Mr. L/N, why don’t we take a walk?” His knees gave out as he fell to the floor with a wail.

You’d never seen him cry before that. It was like you were a ghost, watching an exchange that you weren’t privy to. You were an outsider, from that moment on, looking into a family that began to crumble.

Or, more realistically, you were the one on the inside watching what remained of your parents fade away. Your parents divorced; your mother spent more and more time at work and when she was actually home she was either sleeping or arguing with your dad and he was arguably worse. He worked from home, but he didn’t dote on you as he usually would. He withdrew into his home office where he gambled away your brother’s future college fund.

Gone were family dinners, holidays, birthdays, movie nights with your dad, your mom taking you shopping when she came home early from work. When you were finally 12, your parents took you out to dinner and put on happy faces. 

Finally, after years of a cold silence covering everything in your home, which realistically felt more of just a place you slept and ate, something felt like it was defrosting. You were just too young to see that they were masks.

And then they told you they were sending you to a boarding school across the world.

At least, on the way to the airport, they let you sit in the front seat.

You didn’t like the boarding school. Sure, you learned, but you never made any actual friends. Soon you began seeing yourself in the same gray bleakness that you saw your parents in. Half of yourself screamed to fix it, the other half kind of just accepted it. And you really didn’t have the energy to do anything else about it.

That was until you were out shopping one day, taking a break from your studies, and came across a street dance crew. People were crowded around, cheering them on and smiling. You hadn’t grinned and laughed like that in years. Their energy was so contagious; you saw into another world where a brother took his baby sister to an arcade to play DDR for hours on end. 

You weren’t sure where to even start; all you knew was you wanted to do that.

Sheepishly you went up to one of the members, a girl, after and asked her where she learned to dance. She gave you a card to a dance studio.

That night you held your phone between your ear and your shoulder and turned the card over and over as you called your parents. It was one of your routine monthly calls where you’d ask ‘how’s work? Remember Grandma’s birthday is on Saturday. Did you pay my tuition? Report cards are out, I sent mine to you. How’s the house?’

To which they would reply with ‘have you eaten? Do you need me to send another care package? How’s your allowance? Is it enough?”

It felt something close enough to caring; about as warm as they were since before you were ten. Though this time you hesitated before answering a question, your mother’s this time, and instead asked her about dancing.

She was silent and you nearly thought you accidentally hung up. You pulled the phone away from your ear to reveal that she was still on the line,

“You know you took ballet when you were about three,” You raised your eyebrows, stunned,

“Really? How come I don’t remember that?”

“You hated it. We practically had to pry you out of that damn car seat every time we pulled up to the studio,” She laughed, something you hadn’t heard in a while, and sighed, “It took us two months to finally let up and let you quit,”

“Oh… well, I was talking more like street dancing. Like hip-hop?”

“I don’t see why not. Text your father and send us a tuition fee,” 

You really don’t get why you hated ballet so much.

Ok, maybe the competitiveness and all of the expensive shoes and dresses deterred you, but surprisingly you were good at dancing. It really wasn’t all that hard to you. Just letting the beat flow through you and moving along to it. 

You made friends too. You expected most people to brush you off once you began moving up groups until you were in the highest group you could get into. These people weren’t your parents, you reminded yourself, and this wasn’t home. 

It was when you were fifteen, and goofing off with your best friend, Haerin, in the studio on a break when your instructor butted in. You both were very loudly and obnoxiously singing the words to the song you were dancing to, Looking at Me by Sabrina Carpenter, and she walked over. You half expected her to begin lecturing you both on ‘noise control’ but instead she just nodded,

“Not bad. You two ever considered auditioning?”

“To where?” You asked with quirked brows,

“To a company, stupid,” Haerin’s explanation didn’t do much to help your confusion, “A pop company, like JYP or something,” She hit the side of your leg,

“Actually, I think Big Hit is hosting auditions next weekend, I may know someone to get you girls in,” You tilted your head in thought, “Let me know by tomorrow if you girls want in,”

“Ooh~ She has connections,” Haerin whispered to you once your teacher had walked away from you both. You laughed and lightly kicked her in the side.

You didn’t think much about it until that night. You laid on your bed, and like most nights, without sleeping that much, just letting thoughts go by in your head. The image of you standing on a stage singing and dancing in front of a crowd caused you to scowl at first.

Call it from your withdrawn childhood, but the thought of the attention of thousands of people on you made you nervous. It was something to overcome when maybe twenty people watched you dance in class. The fact that you would have millions of people commenting on your every move? Not something you really wanted.

But Haerin, oh Haerin, being the most annoying friend she could, nagged you every second you were together. It worked, as it did most times, and you went with her to audition. You huffed the entire way there and complained about every step, mostly about the copious amounts of paperwork, and when you were finally in the audition waiting room you thought about leaving several times,

And then the first girl stood to audition. And she tripped walking to the stage. You covered your mouth under your t-shirt and tried not to laugh audibly. Maybe this wouldn’t be that bad.

Hundreds of girls had to be there, and a lot of them looked like you. Though you kept this to yourself, you thought you danced better than most of them. 

When it was finally your turn you cued the music with a smile to the judges. It was a fake one, but they seemed to smile back with genuine looks of hope. You danced to Loco by Itzy and smiled at the cheers of several of the other girls. You could only catch glimpses of yourself in some of the mirrors, but you knew you were doing great.

One you were done you turned to the judges and bowed before thanking them,

“And thank you, Y/N,” One of them smiled,

“You said you danced with a studio?” You nodded and told them the name and teacher,

“Oh! So you’re in Group One?” 

“That’s right,”

“Very nice,” They all wrote a note of something on your paper, you hoped that you didn’t say something wrong, “Thank you Ms. L/N, we’ll let you know,” 

You bowed again on your way off and hopped off the stage before hastily getting back to Haerin,

“You did so well!” She squealed. You only rolled your eyes,

“Yeah, I know, I know,”

You refreshed the page again with wide eyes. You were in shock. You actually made it. You were officially a Big Hit Entertainment Trainee. A text then came in from your dad. You groaned and rubbed over your eyes. Right, you kind of forgot to tell them you were in for a bit of a career change.

“I’ve never had a younger sibling before!” Danielle squealed while putting her arms around you and Haerin. Haerin just groaned however you quickly squirmed out of her grip and complained. You weren’t sure what to think of Danielle and your other members. Sure, you were older than Haerin and Hyein, but Daneille, Hanni, and Minji were all older than you.

You didn’t like what you were being reminded of,

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” You grumbled in English,

“Sourpuss,” Danielle laughed. The others joined in. You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms as the others began rolling around on the floor from their laughter. You turned away, but cracked a tiny smile.

“New Jeans has taken the industry by storm!” One of the MCs, Nayeon, smiled at your group. You, being in the front, smiled back and let Minji speak about your EP that had just been released.

You were excited and, for once, really happy. Everyday you came to the studio buzzing with energy. Obviously most of your energy was put into dancing rather than singing, but it was all worth it for the praise you were showered with from choreographers. 

Your members began calling you “mirror” because of how fast you could pick up the choreography you were given. You mastered attention in a day and it took you just short of two weeks to practically master the entire EP. 

Perhaps it was your solitary childhood that really helped you. It was almost a superpower for you to lock into yourself and pick out everything that needed to be changed. After all, you were responsible for only you, something you’d been telling yourself since that fateful date five years ago. 

Then again, it was almost a superpower since that also caused countless late nights, which Minji always chastised you for returning to the dorms so late. Perfectionism, something you undoubtedly got from your parents, what a blessing and a curse,

“Y/N? You in there?” Hanni poked you shoulder,

“Oh? I’m sorry, I kind of spaced out,” You giggled,

“Ah, I do the same all the time, don’t worry about it,” Yoongi assured you,

“You know, now that I think about it,” Nayeon grabs you hand and pulls you near Yoongi, “You and Suga-Oppa look like siblings,” You members begin to chatter with agreements. You suddenly felt overcome with something you really couldn’t put your finger on. The unusual feeling transformed your expression to a flicker of a grimace before you forced a smile back onto your face,

“My little sister,” He cooed, poking your ribcage. You stepped back and frowned,

“Hey!” You put on a pout. Your members and the MCs laughed at you before continuing the interview.

You don’t remember the last time you’ve cried this hard. In fact, you can’t remember the last time you’ve cried at all. 

Ignorance; why would he say such a thing? You felt like you were going to vomit from crying so hard. You let yourself enjoy the rest of the night before nearly collapsing when you got home. It was late, everyone’s probably in bed. You put a hand to your chest and felt it heave up and down as you choke out another sob.

You don’t remember much about your brother. You could only enjoy so much with an older brother with a six year age gap. You were still whining about dolls and toys when he got into the accident. He was preparing for university and in secondary school. 

The small moments you treasured were few and far between; you suddenly felt so much guilt weighing on your chest. For someone you lived with you never really knew him. You let your head rest against the wall and wipe your tears with your sweatshirt sleeve.

In fact, after everything that happened you were more focused on your family, you never really knew yourself. You were your brother’s sister; your parents' daughter; a friend; a student. 

Most of your childhood it felt like you mourned yourself more than you did your brother. Your parents were so obsessed with not forgetting him that he was everywhere. In your childhood house, he was more alive than you ever were. 

They kept stock of his favorite foods, always played his favorite movies and television shows, made sure they visited his room at least once per day, and had photos of him in each room. Your house was just a museum of his things, like your parents were expecting him to walk through the door again.

Of course, he never did. You wished he did, but not for your sake. 

It was only once, you caught it. You were making lunch on a Saturday when you were eleven. It was a ham and mustard sandwich. He used to make it for you every weekend and you just continued on making it. It wasn’t ‘in memory’ of him or anything, it was just a routine that you preferred to keep more than anything else.

You looked up from your sandwich and your mother was in the kitchen. She was looking at your food, you just thought she was hungry, but then you met her eyes.

There was such a deep disappointment swimming in them. It was gone almost as soon as you saw it, but she looked at you like she was expecting something. Like you broke a window and she was expecting you to fess up. But you didn’t break anything.

She was looking at you like you were supposed to be him. Like she wanted you to be him,

“Y/N?” You look up. You nearly expect your mother to be there again, with that shameful look in her eyes.

But it’s Danielle. And it’s more of a concern rather than shame. She doesn’t say anything else. She only slides down next to you and wraps you in a hug,

“I know, I know,” She rubs your back as you sob into her neck, your cries shaking your body against hers,

“No, you don’t,”

“I do, I-”

“Danielle, my brother’s dead,” You raise your head to see her reaction. Her eyes are wide and her mouth is ajar and struggles to form words. If you weren’t so upset, you would probably laugh at her expression, “And no one knows,”

In some vain attempt to get her to leave you scoot away from her and wipe your eyes once again. But Danielle, because she’s Danielle, grabs your wrist. You meet her eyes and they have such an understanding in them that it scares you so much more than anything your parents could ever express.

You’re so used to the cold, to the solitude that you struggle against her embrace,

“I’m sorry. We compared you to Yoongi. We shouldn’t have,” You try to mutter something else out but she continues, “I had no idea about your brother, Y/N,”

Neither did I, you think coldly,

“How long have you been holding this in, sweetheart?” The name makes your heart beat faster than you’d like to admit,

“Years, unnie, years,” You repeat, feeling more tears prick your eyes. She hugs you again and you somewhat settle down. 

There was something off about Danielle to you. Whenever you were close to her there’d always be some alarm in your head that’d go off. You weren’t used to her mannerisms.

You’d gone from your parents, who you had barely been anything to, then to Haerin, who’d been a source of comfort in the sense that you could just sit by her and have a mutual understanding of what was going on. You’d never been outright comforted in so long.

But, maybe now it was ok to let yourself go. Bask in the warmth of another instead of relying on your own iciness,

“There you go,” Danielle whispers in your ear as you settle on her lap, “Take a deep breath for me, honey,” Just as she asked, you take in a breath and shakily let it out.

You had a long way to go and even more to learn about yourself. But maybe with at least someone on your side it wouldn’t be as bad this time around.

(AN: I really don't like how this turned out but I might possibly write a part 2 to this)

[twostepstyless]

Christmas Day

Fic Advent Calendar Day 25 - The Last One!

Advent Calendar Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Authors Note: The very last fic of my advent calendar, it's Christmas Day (sorry I robbed you of the implied smut at the beginning but my smut is 18+ only and I wanted everyone to be able to read this) and after opening presents, a winter walk and a great Christmas Dinner, Harry and Y/N sneak away to open the gifts they got for each other in private.

As always, likes, reblogs, feedback of any and all varieties is forever appreciated. I can't believe I've managed to write 25 fics in just over 25 days!! thank you thank you thank you - G <3 x

Word Count: 3.6k

SFW

———

“I would put money on our mums being already up,” Harry said as the cosied under the covers of their bed. 

“Mm probably, giggling away,” Y/N said against the home she made in the crook of his neck. As if on cue they heard the pop of a cork downstairs and the faint sound of the women laughing travelling through the floors of their home. 

“That’ll be the Buck’s Fizz opened,” Harry rolled his eyes playfully at their mothers’ antics. 

“Oh, leave them alone, it’s Christmas,” their fingers tangled together as they held onto each other, fidgeting with each other’s hands. 

“That it is, merry Christmas, my heart,” Harry’s nose nudged against her forehead, urging her to turn her head to meet the warmth of his gaze. His eyes reflected the colour of the Christmas tree that was sat in their living room. 

“Merry Christmas,” she whispered, smiling against one another’s lips as they began their morning with a kiss. Sweet pecks, innocent and quiet in the calm of their room. The dog had vacated their room at some point during the night, which as Y/N’s arm came up to hold his head close to hers as she deepened their kiss, Harry was thankful for. As Y/N shuffled in his hold, rotating so she was lying over him as Harry’s hands fell to her lower back, moulding her body to his as she clung to his frame, so close they could feel each other’s heartbeats reverberate in their own chests. 

“Wait, wait,” Harry turned his head with a gasp, breaking their kiss as Y/N pouted. Harry slipped from under her and approached their bedroom door and shutting it tight where they had left it cracked for Vince to get in and out. He turned on his heel and stalked towards a flustered Y/N who was in the centre of the bed, “y’think you can be nice and quiet for me, baby?” he smirked as he kneeled onto the end of the bed, as Y/N nodded quickly. “Words first, pretty.” 

“I’ll be so quiet, promise,” she whispered for affect.

“Good, c’mon, let’s make each other feel good, can be our little present to each other, yeah?” Harry hovered over her and stole her lips in a searing kiss as their hips gravitated to one another’s as the got lost in their sheets. 

*** 

Everyone made their way downstairs in their matching pyjamas or rather Harry and Y/N redressed in their matching pyjamas. Their mothers were a couple glasses deep in the Buck’s Fizz and had poured everyone else a glass as they all met up in the kitchen before, they kicked off their Christmas morning. 

“We just wanted to say,” Anne said raising her glass in the kitchen, gesturing to herself and Jackie, Y/N’s mum, “a massive thank you to Y/N and Harry for hosting us this year, it’s been wonderful so far and I’m sure next year, you’ll be fighting off family members wanting to spend it here with us,” Anne smiled warmly.

“To Y/N and Harry!” Jackie cheered as everyone clinked glasses and sipped on their drinks. Y/N had her back pressed to Harry’s chest as they both smiled bashfully before clinking their glasses. Harry pressed a kiss to Y/N’s temple and swayed them as everyone finished up their drinks. Y/N’s brother Nathan, then reappeared with baby Mabel clinging to him, they let her sleep as long as possible as she had a long day of present opening and toy playing in front of her. 

“Good morning, Mabel, are y’ready to see if Santa came?” Y/N cooed at her, her index finger rubbing at her sleep warmed cheek as she tucked her head away in her Dad’s grip. Everyone shuffled into the living room to see piles of gifts deposited around the room, the crinkly, foiled paper catching the warm white lights of the Christmas tree and refracting little pieces of light around the room. 

“Look, Mabes, Santa ate all his cookies,” Rosie, Mabel’s mum, showed her the empty plate that was set up next to the Christmas tree, “and looks like he brought you lots and lots of presents for being such a good girl,” Rosie’s eyes widened at the pile of gifts that Harry and Y/N had added to. To say they had spoiled their family, and especially the baby, was a bit of an understatement. 

“Fuckin’ hell!” Steven, Y/N’s father, exclaimed, looking round the room at the presents. 

“Steven, language!” Jackie warned, pointing to Mabel as if she had heard him. 

“The kid barely knows her own name never mind knowing what me swearing means,” Steven rolled his eyes at his wife’s chastising over his granddaughter being near, “y’know we’re getting on a plane, yeah? Y’mum overpacked as it was never mind having to ram all of this stuff in as well,” Steven said to Harry and Y/N, who took residence cuddled up in an armchair in the corner that was meant for one person but they squeezed into together. 

“Don’t even worry ‘bout it, we’re going to ship everything to you guys once you all go home,” Y/N brushed it off, “that’s your pile next to where Mum’s sat,” she pointed it out to him before he leant down to give his daughter a kiss on the cheek before shuffling back to no doubt get a quiet warning from his wife about his choice language when the baby was around. 

“We’ll do our presents for each other later, yeah? Just by ourselves?” Harry asked in Y/N’s ear as he held her in his lap. 

“Yeah, jus’ me and you,” Y/N confirmed as they watched everyone begin tearing into presents. Anne had gifted the couple new, matching robes, which they then had their photo taken together wearing them. Y/N got her traditional copy of the Guinness Book of World Records from her parents which she had been getting every year since she was six and somehow garnered an obsession with world records. Emma, Harry’s cousin and her boyfriend Reece had been gifted a weekend away from Harry and Y/N to relax before their new baby arrived in a few short months. Mabel had gotten a hoard of new toys and clothes but seemed more taken with the shiny pieces of wrapping paper she clutched in her tiny fists and waved in the air. Vince was in his element, the dog wandered round the living room, getting extra scratches and belly rubs from everyone. He had his own pile of presents from his parents stacked up next to his bed, that Harry, once he got down on the floor, helped him open. Vince liked to get the edge of the paper between his teeth as Harry pulled in order to tear it open. A new collar, a fresh tube of tennis balls, a new waterproof coat, because God only knows the dog has issues going for his last toilet break before bed if it’s raining outside, which meant Harry or Y/N usually had to stand with an umbrella over him as he did his business, and of course, he got enough treats to feed the entire golden retriever population in the U.K. Richard, Anne’s partner, had went off to make teas and coffees, now wearing his new jumper from Anne over his Christmas pyjamas as Harry began clearing up all the wrapping paper, acting like the stereotypical Mum on Christmas morning as he flapped his plastic bin bag open, which Mabel thought was very funny as she squealed and giggled at Harry. 

“Are y’laughing at me, Mabel?” he widened his eyes and opened his mouth, playfully as he rustled the bag again to make her laugh as she screamed loud enough to rupture an eardrum if you were too close as Harry laughed at the silly girl, booping her quickly on the nose as her eyes scrunched up at the sensation. 

“Harry, mate, I can get that,” Nathan tried to take the rubbish bag from him but Harry quickly brushed him off.

“Looks like y’daughter just left you a present of her own in her nappy, I’ll stick with this clean up and you can handle that one,” Harry laughed as he caught Mabel make that tell-tale face that she was ready for a change. 

*** 

Vince must have felt like the pied piper as he trotted round the park on a Christmas morning walk with thirteen people following behind him. Harry carried Mabel who was wrapped up in a snowsuit to protect her from the icy wind chill to let Rosie and Nathan enjoy a calmer stroll minus their baby for a little while as Y/N held onto Vince’s leash.

“Good practice this, innit?” Harry mused.

“Hm?” Y/N queried. 

“Jus’ for a Christmas down the line, we’ve already got one child,” he nodded towards Vince who was working off his zoomies from all the excitement in the house. “Just when we were talking about us maybe having another one, just with a little less fur and a little more human,” he looked at Mabel who was playing with the chain that hung around Harry’s neck.

“Y’picturing it?” Y/N asked. 

“Yeah,” Harry sighed, dreamily, “I mean Mabel already looks a little like you, family resemblance and all, but I keep imagining one that looks a lot like you and maybe a little like me,” he smiles bashfully. 

“I wouldn’t mind if they look a lot like you,” Y/N said, clicking the retractable part of Vince’s lead off as his paws lead him dangerously close to the muddy pond he went in yesterday, thinking he could potentially get away with having a little dip again. “Is the picture in y’head nice?” 

“It’s pretty perfect actually,” Harry confirmed. Little did the pair know but their parents were wandering a little bit behind them, discussing the exact same thing, as Y/N’s mum took some sneaky pictures of them from behind, if you didn’t know it was their niece they were carrying, it did look like a perfect family photo. 

***

“We’ve got this,” Y/N said confidently.

“Yeah, we do!” Harry tied the cord around his middle in a bow as they stood before each other in the kitchen in matching aprons that Gemma and her boyfriend had gifted them this morning as they began to tackle the Christmas dinner cooking. They had done a bit of preparation the day before and had a good few hours until they planned on sitting down to eat today, they were confident they could pull it off. Harry had worked wonders on the roast beef joint, which was slow cooking away all morning, he was chopping veg as Y/N finished off the soup course by adding the last of the seasoning and letting it bubble away on the stove. 

“Oh, my loves! I didn’t know you guys had started,” Anne appeared in the doorway, quickly pushing her sleeves up and going to wash her hands in the sink, “let me help you guys out.” 

“No, no, you’re our guest, honestly we’re fine,” Y/N tried to tell her. 

“Nonsense! Let me stuff the turkey at the very least,” Anne brushed her off, getting everything out that she needed as Harry appeared behind Y/N. 

“Told you she would have her hand up the turkey before we could even consider asking her to do it,” Harry said smugly as Y/N bumped him away from her with her hip so she could get started on her roast potatoes. “Hey, want t’give me a kiss first before y’fall out with me because I’ve cut the carrots too big?”

“Have you actually cut them too big?” Y/N narrowed her eyes at him. 

“No,” he said far too quickly, “plus you have t’kiss me, says it on the tin,” he pointed to his chest where ‘kiss the cook’ was embroidered onto the apron. 

“I’ll shove one of those carrots so far up yo-” Harry cut her off with his lips.

“Shh, I’m kidding, they’re chopped to perfection,” he muttered against her soft lips. 

*** 

Dinner was, thankfully, a resounding success. Going by the fact that Steven and Richard were currently asleep on the couch, paper crowns from the Christmas crackers still on top of their heads, with Mabel who was also out for the count, cuddled in between them. Emma was on one of the other couches rubbing her stomach to soothe the food baby that had developed as well as her actual growing pregnant belly after the large meal. Rosie, Gemma, Michal and Nathan were in the kitchen doing the washing up which Y/N and Harry had fought with them tooth and nail about doing until they dragged the couple into the living room and sat them down so they wouldn’t interfere. Reece, Emma’s partner, had volunteered to take Vince out on another walk, after he too had his own Christmas dinner out of his dog bowl, then probably ate another bowl or so out of people’s hands under the table. To say the dog was as happy as a pig in shit was a bit of an understatement. Anne and Jackie were fawning over 80s popstars on the old episode of Top of the Pops that played on the TV as they nursed their glasses of wine. 

“This has been alright, hasn’t it?” Y/N asked. 

“Everyone seems happy, think we smashed it, m’heart,” Harry said proudly, watching as Y/N’s fingers went to the button of her trousers, quickly undoing the fastening and breathing out a sigh of relief as her unfastened trousers gave room for her stomach to expand and to let her food baby hang free. Harry snorted, he had been smarter and chose trousers with an elastic waistband that could stretch with his meal rather than have to go out with his trousers round his ankles when they would no doubt fall the rest of the way down. “I think Mum could be right though, we’re in for a nightmare when the rest of the family want t’come round ours for Christmas. Harry laughed, nudging his nose along the side of her neck as she was cuddled close over his lap again. 

“If it ever goes over twenty people coming, we’re catering and I don’t even care,” Y/N decided there and then. 

“Sounds good to me, means I can keep y’in bed a bit longer then,” Harry teased, “speaking of bed, everyone seems distracted enough, come upstairs and we’ll do our stockings for each other?” Y/N nodded, standing to her feet and taking Harry by the hand as they slipped out the living room and snuck away into their bedroom. 

*** 

They had agreed only to fill stockings for each other this year, not requiring big flashy presents to convey how they felt for one another. Harry had just finished opening his, a new bottle of his go to fragrance sat next to him, as well as the candle he likes to burn on the road to make it feel like home, a couple of his essentials like gum, a new toothbrush for tour and she had got him a book subscription service as he had vocalised, he was determined to read more in the upcoming year. She’d also got him a joke present of a pair of boxers with matching socks that had a picture of Y/N’s face printed all over them, and knowing him, he’d be wearing them to bed that night, and finally, of course, the traditional terry’s chocolate orange to fill out the toe of the stocking. 

“Thank you, my love,” Harry said as they sat cross-legged on the bed in front of each other, leaning over to place a chaste kiss on her lips before he reached down to collect the stocking, he had filled for her, “Merry Christmas, m’heart,” he smiled handing over the stocking. Harry had filled out her stocking similarly, her favourite perfume, some of her favourite sweets tucked down the side, he’d also booked them a week away in a lodge in the north of Scotland in the new year, which Y/N argued was far too flashy for a stocking gift but Harry retaliated by saying that the booking confirmation email folded up perfectly to fit in the stocking so it still counts as she rolled her eyes at him. Her favourite gift though, Harry had somehow found the time to handmake for her, it was another special bauble for their tree, similar in that it was a ceramic circle with a big thick, red velvet ribbon tied in a bow to hang on one of the branches, but in the middle of the ornament was a painted print of their dog Vince’s paw, with ‘Vincent Styles’ written in Harry’s best handwriting underneath the print. 

Y/N pouted as she held the special ornament close to her chest, “that’s our furry little baby,” she whimpered.

“M’not sure about little, but he’s definitely our baby, was thinking if we ever have any more babies, furry or otherwise, I don’t know, we could do a similar bauble for them too,” he suggested shyly as Y/N quickly nodded before running her fingers under her eyes to sweep away the moisture that had collected there from the glittering tears that threatened to spill over. 

“And last but not least…” Harry began as Y/N reached back into the stocking. 

“The chocolate orange,” she giggled as her hand met something square, thinking Harry had just left the chocolaty treat in its box this year, but hmm, weird. It felt smaller than normal, felt a bit like fabric too, velvet maybe? Her eyes flickered to Harry’s who was chewing on his lip nervously as he nodded, urging her to pull her hand out the stocking that concealed whatever she was holding.

“I know you’re not one for big, public scenes, so that’s why I wanted us to do this up here, just us,” Harry said as her hand came out the stocking, revealing a small box clad in a heavy blue velvet, “can I borrow this?” he smiled as his fingers wrapped round Y/N’s shaking ones that held onto the box, not being able to speak, she released her grip on it as Harry stood from his seated position and promptly dropped to one knee on the bedroom floor in front of her with a deep breath and cracked the box open to reveal its contents. “I love you,” he began, “more than I could ever imagine being able to put into words or convey with actions, you are the most wonderful thing to have ever happened to me and I wasn’t kidding when I said I wanted to spend all my Christmases with you. I promise I’ll bend over backwards every year t’get your advent calendar on time, I’ll let you force me into wellies to go traipse round a muddy field to pick out a tree that barely fits in our home, we’ll put that bauble from six years ago in the middle, near the top every year,” Harry sniffed, pausing to wipe away some of Y/N’s tears that he silently prayed were happy ones. “I’ll take you to Christmas parties where we have to eat crisps in the toilets because the food was shit, I’ll shove my hand up a turkey’s arsehole whenever you need for friendsmas. I promise to look forward to your craft every year and use whatever you made me with pride because my wife made me that. I’ll chase you round the house with mistletoe because even when you act like it annoys you, I know you love it,” they both huff out a laugh through their tears. 

“We’ll throw house parties and get pissed at home and go ice skating, preferably without any more injuries, and wrap the presents together and fill our home with the love our families every year. I’ll do it all, as long as I’m doing it with you, I’d just prefer if next year I was doing it with my wife, or my fiancée at the very least if the wedding hasn’t happened yet. So, what d’you say, my heart? Will you, God please, do me the honours and marry me?” Harry finished. 

Through aggressive sniffs and sparkly tears that stained her face, Y/N croaked out, “did y’still get me a chocolate orange?” 

“Yeah, s’in the drawer,” Harry laughed, wiping away his own tears. 

“Then yeah…” 

“Yeah?” 

“I would love nothing more to marry you, gorgeous,” Y/N confirmed, nodding as fresh tears spilled over as she fell to her knees in front of Harry as they embraced on their bedroom floor, kissing through the tears they had shed. With shaking fingers, Harry plucked the ring from its cushion inside the ring box and slid it onto Y/N’s finger as they both looked down at the glittering token of their love for one another. 

“Was that a good gift?” Harry asked. 

“Yeah,” she giggled, “filled out the toe of the stocking nicely.” 

“I thought so,” Harry was proud of his idea of placing the ring near at the bottom. 

“I still want my chocolate orange though,” Y/N said seriously as Harry snorted in laughter, let’s just say the run up to Christmas had been pretty good this year, and they still had day 25 to eat out of their advent calendars when they went back downstairs. 

———

Advent Calendar Masterlist

Main Masterlist

[erimeows]

Memento Mori

May 9th, Day 1: Victory/Defeat @sandsibweek​

The moment Temari hears from Gaara that Asuma has been killed in a battle against two Akatsuki members, she rushes to Konohagakure on foot and makes her way to the Nara compound with some half-baked directions from local villagers. She’s exhausted, sweaty, and in desperate need of food and a shower by the time she gets there, but she knows now isn’t the time to relax, so she doesn’t. Instead, she knocks on Shikamaru’s door and tries to keep a straight face when he answers.

“Temari, what are you doing here?” Shikamaru questions like he normally would, but upon taking a closer look at him, Temari can tell he’s defeated.

Shikamaru has bags under his eyes unlike any Temari has seen before. His face is pale and ashy but simultaneously covered in tear streaks. While Shikamaru’s hair is tied up, it’s matted and Temari can just tell it hasn’t been brushed in days. To top it all off, instead of being in his standard uniform, Shikamaru is in nothing but pajama pants. 

“I came as soon as I heard,” Temari explains.

“Heard about w-?” Shikamaru starts, but then he stops. A morbid look of realization washes over his face. As he sighs, Temari notices that he reeks of cigarette smoke. “Oh, you mean Asuma. Why do you care?”

It’s an awkward question to answer. Temari cares because she cares about Shikamaru. The ravenette was much closer to his sensei than Temari ever was to hers, she could tell by hearing how Shikamaru talked about Asuma or by how the two would interact when she was in town for work. Asuma’s death must be crushing him, but Temari has never had to comfort Shikamaru like this. Though they’re friends, they’re mostly comrades, only together because of their jobs. Now, Temari is here of her own free will and unsure of how to express that she’s only here because of her love for the man in front of her.

“I… Well, I wanted to make sure you were alright.”

“Again, why do you care? It has nothing to do with you.”

“I know you’re hurting,” Temari sighs. She’s tempted to yell at him for talking to her so rudely when she came all the way from Suna to comfort him, but he’s grieving right now. Temari has grieved many more times than Shikamaru has, and she knows it turns people into the nastiest versions of themselves. Yelling won’t work, nor will sarcasm or violence or anything else that she would normally use to communicate with Shikamaru. So, she forces herself to calm down, crosses her arms, and finishes her sentence. They don’t meet each other’s eyes. “But don’t pretend we aren’t friends.”

“Look, you have more important things to worry about and I already have plenty of people mother-henning me since Asuma was killed. I don’t need another, so just go home,” Shikamaru hisses and moves to close the front door, but before he can, Temari unsheathes her fan to stick it between the wooden door and its frame. 

“I’m not leaving,” Temari insists despite the glare that Shikamaru shoots in her direction. “Even if I didn’t come here for you, Gaara sent me personally to pay respects to your sensei on behalf of Sunagakure. Asuma was a fine Jonin who did a lot of work that benefited both of our villages, so it’s only appropriate.”

“I guess it’s non-negotiable, then. Come on inside,” Shikamaru huffs and opens the door. Temari looks past him and into the house; it’s nice, large with dark wooden floors and rustic decor that her own parents would’ve enjoyed back when they were alive. Taking the open door as an invitation, Temari puts her fan away and walks into the Nara compound. Shikamaru shuts the door behind her. “Since the village is in disarray right now, you should probably stay here. We have an extra room. Hell, my mom’s making ramen right now, you interested? She always has extra for a friend.”

“Oh… Sure, I guess. Why not?” Temari nods, a little unsure.

She hasn’t had a dinner with a family, let alone her own, since before Gaara was born. Even back then, it was rare because of her father’s work. The memories are so blurry now that she’s not even sure they’re real. Part of her is jealous that Shikamaru gets to have this nice compound in the middle of nature with his normal, loving parents, but part of her is happy for him too. It’s good that he has the support during this trying time that she never got to.

Moments later, a man who she assumes to be Shikamaru’s dad (based on the identical hair, eyes, and face shape) walks from the kitchen to the living room, which is connected to the entryway that she and Shikamaru are currently standing in. He’s wearing a coat made of deerskin and gloves, and his face is covered in scars. 

“Shikamaru, who’s this?” The tall, lanky Nara asks. “I didn’t know we were having a guest today, I would’ve cleaned up a bit.”

Temari looks around. The house is already fucking spotless.

“Dad, this is Temari, and Temari, this is my dad; Shikaku Nara,” Shikamaru introduces them.

“Shikamaru, is this that sand village girl you’ve been talking about?” Temari hears a woman’s voice, followed by said woman popping out of the kitchen much like Shikaku did moments before. Shikamaru’s mom is on the smaller side with long black hair and eyes that are the same color but a different shape than Shikamaru’s. “I’m so glad you finally brought her home, and to think I was getting scared you’d never bring a girl to meet us!”

Temari blushes, to which Shikamaru sighs.

“And that’s my mom, Yoshino Nara.”

“Dinner will be ready soon, why don’t you two go hang out for a bit while we finish cooking in here?” Yoshino offers.

“Okay, just let us know when dinner’s ready,” Shikamaru says, and then, he’s turning and walking down one of the few hallways connected to the living room.

Temari follows. They pass what looks like Shikamaru’s room with a shogi board set out in the middle. The board’s pieces are scattered about like Shikamaru was playing a game with someone that got interrupted.

“Shikamaru, how about a game of shogi?” Temari offers, knowing that it’s one of Shikamaru’s most enjoyed hobbies aside from watching clouds and spending time with his teammates. “It could help clear your mind.”

“No, I… That set up, it’s from the last game Asuma and I played. He had lunch with my family and I, and after that, we started this game but got called to a mission in the middle of it. I hadn’t had the time to reset it, but now… I can’t bring myself to. It’s one of the only things that I have left of him,” Shikamaru confesses. Temari’s stomach drops. Sure, she had no way of knowing, but now she feels bad for even asking about it… Not that Shikamaru wasn’t already thinking about Asuma, anyway. The two walk into the room, and Temari can’t help but stare down at the dusty shogi board. She thinks about how, just weeks before, Asuma and Shikamaru were casually playing, unaware of the fate that awaited them. When Shikamaru eventually cleans up the board and moves the pieces to their starting positions, Asuma’s dust-set fingerprints will be gone forever. “Proof that he was alive.”

“Shikamaru… It’s collecting dust.”

“I know, it was from a while ago,” Shikamaru stares down at the board just as Temari was moments before. There’s longing in his eyes, yearning for the world they lived in where Asuma was still alive. Such a short time ago. “I don’t know why I even told you that.”

Temari doesn’t know what to say, so for a few seconds, she doesn’t say anything. The two of them stare at the shogi board together as the sounds of Shikaku and Yoshino happily chatting and cooking together echo in the house. 

“Hey,” Temari finally speaks after what feels like eternity. She places a hand on Shikamaru’s bare shoulder and flinches when she feels just how cold it is. But, when he looks at her, she offers a smile, because she doesn’t know how else to reassure him. “It’ll be okay.”

And in a heartbeat, Shikamaru places a hand on top of hers and lets out the shaky breath he was holding.

“I know.”

Dinner that night is awkward, to say the least. Shikaku is silent for the most part, clearly able to pick up on Shikamaru’s solemn mood. Yoshino, on the other hand, is either oblivious or just really bad at handling grieving people, because she spends the entire meal excitedly asking Temari questions and trying to make smalltalk with Shikamaru when the ravenette’s clearly in a different headspace than the rest of them.

The food is good, and Shikamaru’s parents are nice if not a little weird. Then again, most ninjas are weird. At least they’re better than Temari’s father was, and at least they’re alive. Temari retreats to her guest bedroom partway through the dinner with the excuse of being exhausted from her travels, which is only half-false. Exhaustion is nothing new to her and she could handle it if she really wanted to, but hearing Shikamaru’s parents casually talk about the funeral that’s supposed to happen for Asuma tomorrow had Temari uncomfortable beyond belief. 

After catching a shower and gathering her thoughts, Temari listens for noise. It seems like the Naras have finished cleaning up their dinner and gone to bed for the night, so she creeps out of her guest room and goes to knock on Shikamaru’s door. Only, the door is already open and her knock pushes it further back to reveal that no one is in the room.

Where the hell could Shikamaru be at this late at night? There’s no way Lady Tsunade gave him a mission with Asuma’s funeral being tomorrow, so he must’ve gone out on his own… But why?

Temari puts on her shoes and a raincoat before looking out into the front yard through the living room window. Shikamaru is nowhere to be seen, but his shoes are by the door. Next, she looks to the backyard, which is where she finds him; pajamas soaked through by the falling rain, hair down, sat on the grass with a doe laying by his side and her fawn curled up in his lap. 

Sighing, the blonde storms out through the back door and goes to Shikamaru, who doesn’t even react to her presence. He has a limp cigarette in his mouth that’s obviously been made unusable by the rain, but regardless of that, he keeps trying to light it back to life with the silver lighter in his hand. 

“Shikamaru, why are you out here?” Temari demands. “You idiot, you’re going to get sick!”

“Have you ever thought about dying?” 

Shikamaru doesn’t even look at her.

“...What?”

“I said, have you ever thought about dying, Temari?”

“Well, yes. Of course I have; you’d be a fool not to in our line of work,” Temari answers, taken aback by the question. She sits next to Shikamaru on the grass even though it’s wet and uncomfortable. Thunder booms in the background. “We could die any day. Why do you ask?”

“I don’t know. Even before Asuma died, there have been these times… I’ll be lying on the grass, staring at the clouds or with my team enjoying a meal. We’ll laugh and smile and tell stories together, and I’ll find myself stopping to think ‘if I die, will I lose this forever? Is there an afterlife? If so, is it good and do I still get to enjoy the things and the people that I love so much in this life? If not, what’s the point?’. There are even moments where our hands brush and I get that spark of electricity that jolts through my skin, and I wonder if after death it’s just this empty void where I’ll never get to feel that for you again.”

Hesitantly, Shikamaru reaches out. Temari holds his hand and intertwines their fingers. The ravenette’s skin is wet and clammy. But, just as he described, the electricity is there- just as it always has been. 

“No one can answer that. It’s like you’ve said to me, why would you waste brain power on things you can’t figure out? Morality isn’t a problem for you to solve, it’s a part of life,” Temari says. “I’m sorry you’ve been put in this position.”

“Why are you here?”

“What?”

“You said your brother sent you to pay respects to Asuma on behalf of your village, right? You didn’t have to see me to do any of that. You could’ve just stayed in a hotel, talked to the Hokage, gone to the funeral, and gone home, but instead… You rushed to my side. Why?”

Temari debates on how to answer. She wants to lie, to stay guarded like she’s used to doing, but she knows that to get Shikamaru to open up, she has to open up a little too. So, she tells the truth. 

“When my mother died, no one supported me. She was my best friend and she died, but I was stuck picking up the pieces for Kankuro and Gaara while my father worried about his duties as Kazekage,” Temari explains. She thinks to back then, to how she suddenly went from having a loving mother and a great relationship with Kankuro to feeling so alone and terrified. Even years after that, she spent most of her days worrying about whether or not Gaara would finally decide to snap and kill her up until he fought Naruto. “Then when my father died, we were all too busy putting the village back together and realigning with Konoha that I didn’t stop to think about it. Even though this is different, you deserve as many people to support you through this as you can possibly get, and… I get it. So, I rushed here. I didn’t even think about it.”

“I can’t get this cigarette to light,” Shikamaru complains, his voice cracking. Temari looks closer to see that he’s crying. There’s tears streaming down his cheeks and snot running from his nostrils. His eyes are puffy, and the sobs that come from between his chapped lips are loud and heart wrenching, but Temari can’t judge him. “No matter how many times I get the end to flicker back, the rain just keeps putting it out! I…”

“Shikamaru, that’s enough,” Temari firmly says and takes both the lighter and the cigarette from Shikamaru. The two deer get up and trot away to the forest at the back of the Nara compound as Temari pulls Shikamaru up off the ground. “Let’s get you inside.”

Temari walks Shikamaru inside, trying her best to ignore the trail of water they leave all over the nice hardwood floors. She hopes it dries well enough overnight for Shikamaru’s parents not to notice. After taking the ravenette to the bathroom, Temari goes to his room to grab him a change of clothes and a towel before joining him in the bathroom. 

“I didn’t think you’d be the type of woman to take care of someone like this,” Shikamaru says as he undresses and dries himself off.

“I’m not, but you’re not just ‘someone’ to me,” Temari sighs and leans against the bathroom wall.

“This is embarrassing.”

Admittedly, the last thing Temari wants to do right now is stare at Shikamaru’s body. She’s always been curious about what his lanky form would look like underneath her much fuller one, how his delicate muscles would shift in reaction to her touches, but she’s seen him partially nude on joint missions enough times to be desensitized to it in a context like this. Plus, now that she’s running her emerald eyes over him, she thinks he’s lost weight from the stress. His collarbones are much more prominent than before, his chest appears somewhat sunken in, and she can see his top two ribs when he turns a certain way.

“Honestly, I’ve seen worse, and… You’re not bad looking.”

“Even though I’ve been bawling my eyes out for half an hour?” Shikamaru laughs as he changes into the clothes that Temari brought him, a t-shirt and loose boxers. 

“Yeah, your face is only a little puffy. It’s not too bad, though you’d probably look a lot better if you slept. You’re getting bags under your eyes, and that is unsightly.”

“I know, I know, but I haven’t been able to sleep since…”

“Nightmares?”

“Nightmares.”

“Then you can sleep with me tonight,” Temari offers and grabs Shikamaru by the hand despite how his face turns strawberry red. 

“But-!”

“I don’t care what it looks like or if it’s embarrassing or whatever. If you’re too prideful to reach out for help, Shikamaru, I’ll shove my way in and help you anyway,” Temari insists as they enter Shikamaru’s bedroom. They close the door and stumble through the dark to Shikamaru’s bed. While Shikamaru lies on the mattress on his back, Temari ditches her shoes, coat, and pants. “You clearly need to get some rest, and if having someone by your side will help, I really don’t care what the implication of sleeping with you is, you hear me?”

“...Yeah, I hear you.”

With that, Temari crawls in bed next to Shikamaru, who quickly turns to lay on his side and wraps his arms around Temari. She’s taken aback by the sudden touch, but she doesn’t complain as he buries his face in her chest and sighs. His whole body seems to relax.

Hesitantly, Temari wraps her arms around Shikamaru in return and asks-

“Are you okay?”

“Not yet.”

“Do you need anything?”

“No, thanks.”

“I’ll be here,” Temari says, because it’s the only way she’s figured out how to communicate her love to the man in front of her.

But, somehow, it seems like he’s already three steps ahead of her, because he responds-

“I love you, too.”

-and falls asleep.

[mcufan72]

Cold winter days, a lonely woman on a bench, a stranger in the park...

An Encounter in Winter ❄️

Loki and female reader

Chapter 6

Chapter 5

18+/adult themes/talking/flirting/slow burn/fluff/angst/smut (eventually)

Warnings: filthy thoughts and slightly smutty daydreams, and a kiss but it doesn't always go the way you expect.

In the dining room, the others welcomed you warm-heartedly like yesterday and you were grateful to be allowed to be here. It felt like being a member of a family again, a feeling you really have missed, but you better shouldn't get used to it. You were still a guest. Nonetheless, you decided to enjoy this feeling if only just for this evening.

"Lady y/n, what a pleasure to have you here again. I like to see that you still date my brother. So is he officially courting you now?"

"I don't…know. I don't think so, we're just friends," you answered insecurely and Loki looked at you embarrassed.

"My brother often talks about you."

Thor grinned smugly, wiggled his eyebrows and looked provocatively at Loki. Everyone sitting at the dining table was grinning now. It was so obvious what was going on between you and Loki but two people in this room here were definitely still in denial and in 'refusing to believe'.

And you looked from Thor to Loki and gazed at him astonished but with a thankful smile on your lips.

"Really? Do you?" you asked Loki.

What did these constant innuendos mean?

Loki cleared his throat and if looks could kill, Thor would be dead on the spot.

"Beloved brother, can you please stop getting on Lady y/n's nerves! She's our guest and you don't have to interrogate her. Stop embarrassing her!" he growled, his voice dark and close to being menacing.

You had never heard him talking like this before. Imperious, firm and determined in his voice, prepared for an attack, tensing up his body. Like a king in a leading manner, a god. But with you he was always gentle and kind, his voice always velvety and soothing.

Now you had an idea of how he could be. And you were impressed and…aroused. And…was he protecting you? You felt honoured. Loki, a literal god, was protecting you, officially protecting you.

"We enjoy having you here again tonight. And please, call me Bruce!" He tried to ease up the situation again.

"Thanks, Bruce and I love to be here again. You all have been so nice to me yesterday. It has been of great help that I was allowed to stay the night here."

"There's no need to thank us, we always help friends in need," Steve said while munching his salad.

"Our home is your home, y/n! You're always welcomed here!" Tony added.

"You're really too kind to me!"

Friends? So they saw a friend in you? This came quickly and unexpectedly.

"Please y/n, remember me to ask you something before you leave tonight, okay?" Bruce said to you.

"Okay, I'll do it."

You looked at Loki quizzically but he only shrugged his shoulders and raised his eyebrows. He didn't know either what Bruce might want to ask you.

After the dinner, you all went over to the lounge area and sat down on the seats and sofas like yesterday and everyone talked about the upcoming New Year's Party.

You started to shiver because you got cold and you put on Loki's hoodie he had given to you earlier. It was too big for you but it was snuggly and warm and it felt like he would hug you…and it smelled like him…a hint of sandalwood, moss and black oud. It had a calming effect on you and put your soul at ease.

Loki sat across from you in his seat and swallowed hard. You looked so gorgeous and sexy in his hoodie. It was much too big for you but he loved to see you wearing it. He imagined you wearing nothing else than his hoodie in the morning so he could fuck you straight on the kitchen counter before he would make breakfast and fresh coffee for you. He wanted to devour you, make the sweetest love to you, and thrust into you deeply and slowly.

He squirmed in his seat and noticed his cock twitching in his leather trousers. He crossed his legs and put his large hands in his lap to hide the now visible bulge. What would he give to call you his. He would feed you with his love and he would treat you like the queen you are, he would lay down his heart, the world, the nine realms, every universe to your feet. He would die for you if necessary.

When Peter returned from the kitchen with some snacks he came over to you and passed you a mug with hot chocolate and whipped cream.

"You still like cocoa Miss, right?" He smiled friendly at you.

"Oh, yes, I still like cocoa. Thanks, Peter. You're all so lovely to me," you said, laughing thankfully at him.

They were all so nice to you and treated you like a family member and you were definitely not used to it anymore.

You looked at Loki again, he seemed daydreaming. You weren't sure because of the dimmed lights but…were his eyes darker than usual? Darkened with… lust?

You thought about how it would feel to get lost in his demanding embrace, your legs wrapped around his waist, grinding your hips against his, feeling him getting hard, his shamelessly beautiful and veiny hands sliding over your body and between your thighs, spreading them. Your skin began tingling and you felt how your arousal made you wet.

You wanted to be bathed in love and lust by him. You wanted to feel romance and passion again and you would give all of this to him, too. It seemed you were ready to open up your heart for a man again. To tell Loki about your ex was your final liberation from the unhappy relationship you had been in and this chapter of your life was definitely closed now.

"He gave you his favorite hoodie, huh?" Nat, who sat next to you, whispered to your ear.

"What?" You fell out of your filthy dreams.

"Yes! It's his favorite one. He really likes you, believe me, sweetie. As Tony said yesterday, Loki never brought his playmates of the night here…let alone give them his favorite sweater. They always stayed just in his apartment."

You two talked quietly to each other so that no one else could hear you.

"I'm not his 'playmate of the night'," you stated firmly.

"I know, sweetie and I also know that he's falling in love with you. It's so obvious, everyone here can see it. But I think it's up to you to conquer him. With you he's kinda…extremely reserved," and she winked with one eye at you.

"Never saw him like this. And he never keeps his eyes off of you…he protects what's his, I can tell you. You should've recognised it when Thor tried to…"

"I'm not…his!" you said firmly.

"Oh, sweetie you already are…you're wearing his hoodie… mark my words, sweetheart," she smirked and winked at you again.

You gazed at Loki and you saw him staring at you. Could it be? Did he really like you that much and could he imagine you as his lover? As much as you could imagine him to be your lover? He told you that he's not interested in a loving relationship and he also never asked you to share his bed with him. He never tried to kiss you. Was he just a gentleman and nice to you and just wanted to be your friend?

You hadn't the slightest idea where all this would lead. And yet you were still afraid of letting him enter your heart completely. You didn't want to make the same mistakes again. You were so afraid of deeply falling in love with him and being addicted to him; truth be told, it was the only thing you really wanted.

You wanted to be addicted to him, you would do everything for him, and you wanted to give him all the love he was craving for. He was caring and attentive. He treated you with respect and gave you all of his attention. He always wanted you to feel good and safe as if you were his only priority. So why were you still so afraid?

You hoped that you could give him the feeling of being safe with you, too. You wanted to be his safe haven. And, God yes, you wanted to fuck him, in the mornings, in the kitchen, you wanted to rip off his sweatpants of his hips so he could fuck you slowly and deeply, on the kitchen counter before breakfast. You were close to drooling and you quickly took a sip of your cocoa.

When the conversation came to the question of how many guests were supposed to come to the party, Loki sat up straight.

"I've invited another guest. My …I invited y/n to join us on New Year's Eve," he declared.

"Oh yes, fantastic," the others cheered and everyone was delighted to have you at the party.

For them, you were already a part of their family. For them, it was clear that you would be the woman at Loki's side sooner or later…

"Thank you again for the invitation, Loki and I'm so happy to join you all."

"What am I supposed to wear, Nat?" you whispered, tilting your head towards her. "Something very chic? Evening wardrobe?" you asked her quietly.

"Hmmh, yes Tony likes glamorous parties and clothes…and you wear something that makes Mr. God-in-love Laufeyson speechless," and she winked smirking at you.

"Nat !...you're impossible…he's not in love with me!" you answered a little outraged.

"Sure? But you are in love with him, sweetie! Don't waste time, go get 'em!"

"Nat! I'm not!" you scolded her and gasped.

It had become late and the time had come for you to go home. Before you said your goodbyes, Bruce had asked you to talk privately.

Loki escorted you to the main entrance of Stark Tower and waited in the foyer together with you for the cab he had ordered for you. Loki insisted that you return to your home by car. He needed to be sure that you were safe.

"May I ask what Bruce talked with you about?"

"Of course, but you won't believe it. "

"What was it about? "

"He offered me to work with him. For him, for the Avengers and S.H.I.E.L.D. Here, in his laboratory as his assistant and the possibility to continue my studies."

"And? Will you accept it? It's a great offer! "

"It's the best offer and greatest opportunity I could've ever dreamt of. I'll have to think about that tonight, this offer came unexpectedly."

"Yeah, I get that. It's life-changing."

"Yeah, as many things have happened to me in the last weeks."

"Take time for your decision, snowflake. But I'd like to have you here. And you really don't want to stay here tonight? It's late."

You smiled at him slightly amused. You knew Loki would ask you again. It wasn't that you didn't want to stay here, you loved to be together with him, you loved to be here. You just weren't willing to give in to the feelings you had for him, not yet. And Nat was right, you had a crush on him. And if you were honest with yourself you had made your choice already concerning Bruce's offer.

You took off his hoodie to give it back to him, put on your coat and wrapped your scarf around your neck. You closed the distance between you two, pressed the hoodie gently against his chest and tucked a loose strand of his long curls behind his ear.

"I can't, Loki. Thank you for your really snuggly sweater."

He nodded knowingly but he was so sad.

"Please, please keep my hoodie. You will get cold again later, my little snowflake." he whispered.

Tears welled up in your eyes, the endearment tugged at something deep inside of you. You shook your head in no.

"I need a reason to come back, Loki."

"I don't understand that, snowflake," he murmured and wrapped his hoodie around your neck over your scarf and knotted the sweatshirt's sleeves in the front.

"What do you mean by that?" he wanted to know.

"I need your hoodie as a reason to come back here so you can give it to me again and again and again…I would like to have something here that belongs to you and that is always waiting here for me," you whispered soundlessly, scooting closer to his face, your lips almost brushing his.

"I am always waiting here for you, my Lady and I insist you keep my hoodie so there's always a part of me surrounding you," he whispered back and placed his hands gently on your waist.

You clasped his upper arms tenderly and felt his biceps move under your grip. You two were so close to each other that you could feel each other's breath fanning over your faces. But you two didn't dare get any closer.

Outside the door your cab arrived and beeped.

"I must go now." You looked deeply into his eyes.

"I will accompany you to the cab."

"No, please don't, Loki. Please, take it easy on us. See you tomorrow, Sir. Same time, same place," you smiled lovingly at him.

"Same time, same place, my Lady.

Please send me a message when you've arrived home safely."

"I will, Loki, I promise."

Before you let go of him, you pressed a long tender kiss to his cheek, inhaled the scent of his skin, turned around quickly and left the building, one of your hands firmly clutching the sleeves of his hoodie you still kept wrapped around your scarf.

You didn't see the tears that welled up in his eyes. Never before it was so difficult for him to let you go. He wanted to drown in your tenderness. Without you he began to feel lost. After your cab had left, he returned to the compound. Your sweet kiss still lingered on his cheek.

❄️❄️❄️

The last few days until New Year's Eve flew by. Of course, you and Loki met each other daily and you also had your beloved coffee-cocoa dates at the café. And instead of going home after that, you spent the evenings together with Loki in Stark Tower. Mostly in the fireplace lounge, sitting in the armchairs, talking and sometimes holding hands. You two have been closer than ever before but both of you were afraid to lose control and take your relationship to the next level.

Today it was New Year's Eve and you were so unbelievably nervous. It was the first time after the horrible events in your life that you would be at a party and that you wouldn't be alone. And the best thing was you would spend this last night of the year together with Loki and you would also begin the New Year with him…and maybe, just maybe a new life together … with him. And again you realized how fast life could change. It could change within weeks, days.

You dressed up for the party, hoping that Loki would like the outfit you had chosen for tonight. You called a cab to bring you to Stark Tower. Loki told you to give him a call when you have arrived so he could come downstairs to the lobby to escort you to the party on the top floor in the exclusive big and luxurious winter garden lounge of the tower. After you had arrived and entered the foyer you sent him a message and in less than a minute he was there. Loki, the handsome, adorable, loveable, polite gentleman you had the privilege to meet every day and spent time with. Mostly you forgot that he was also a Prince and a God.

He strode towards you, self-confident, his gait perfect, with a royal attitude and with a stunning but adorable arrogance so that you needed all of your strength to not fall to your knees and praise him as your King and God. If he would command you to bend over so he could fuck you here and right away, you would obey immediately. This was still your weakness.

You understood even better now why he never had any problems finding a companion for his lonesome nights. But you knew him better. You knew he would never do it with you …unfortunately? You weren't sure but you've had the opportunity to look behind his fassade, and you had found out that he just wanted to be loved and appreciated and you wanted nothing more than to be the one for him if only he would let you.

He looked stunning tonight in his all-black outfit: a frock coat with a snake motif woven into the fabric, combined with perfect-fitting leather pants, an also black tight-fitting shirt, a waistcoat with the same pattern as the frock coat and a silken tie, classic black patent shoes and his hair was all curly and soft tonight and cascaded down in waves over his broad shoulders. He literally took your breath away. Tonight he definitely looked like a prince. Your Prince.

When he saw you standing there and waiting for him he took a few deep breaths to calm down a bit. He had to hold it together to not run to you, grab you, pull you into his arms and kiss the heck out of you until you were breathless.

You looked gorgeous tonight. Your dress was stunning: it was made of shiny fabric and its appearance changed between turquoise-blue and may-green, depending on the lighting. A fitted, deep-cut top with thin straps, crossed in the back, hugged your breasts perfectly and it emphasized your beautiful cleavage. The floor-length flared skirt with hundreds of rhinestones on it looked great on you and let you sparkle like a diamond. You looked like a princess tonight. His princess…his sparkling snowflake. Your smile enchanted him like always and he was so proud to have you by his side tonight. He wished he could have you by his side forever if only you would let him.

When he had reached you, he took your hand in his and pressed a soft kiss to the back of your hand.

"Good evening, my Lady. You look ravishing and it's an honor to be at your side tonight," he welcomed you with his deep husky voice which engulfed you like velvet.

You smiled brightly at him, slightly coy.

"Good evening, Sir. What a pleasure to meet you and spend this special night of the year with you. I'm sure you're the most handsome man tonight," you complimented him.

Loki looked down coyly and smiled, still holding your hand in his, his cheeks turned slightly red. His gaze fell on your coat, which was laying on a small travel bag next to your feet. He pointed his finger at it and he looked quizzically at you.

"Is your guest room still available? I owe you breakfast," you asked him teasingly and smiled at him.

"Of course, darling. You can stay here as long as you want," and a bright smile appeared on his face.

You would stay tonight. What a wonderful gift. The new year couldn't start better.

"5-4-3-2-1- Happy New Year!" you all cheered and raised your glasses.

While everyone fell into each other's arms and peppered kisses to each other's cheeks, Loki pulled you carefully with him to the window fronts of the luxury winter garden. He looked deep into your eyes and held you close to him by your waist. You wrapped your arms around his neck, your glass of champagne still in your hand, not knowing what would happen next.

"Godt nytt år, Loki," you said to him.

"Godt nytt år, snøfnugg," he answered you.

Slowly, very slowly he tilted his head to his right side, leaned in and gave you a long and tender kiss. Just soft lips on soft lips. He pulled you closer to his body, stopped kissing you and let his gaze run over your face to make sure it was okay for you. When you smiled at him positively, he gave you another loving and delicate kiss, just soft lips on soft lips.

He wanted to make everything right, he wanted it to be perfect. He didn't want to rush things or overstep your boundaries. He didn't want to risk losing you. And then he felt his cock getting hard…and you felt it too. You were kind of proud that you had this effect on him because he had the same effect on you, you felt a sweet throbbing between your legs and you two hadn't even kissed passionately. And it shows you that he liked you as a woman more than you dared to hope.

But Loki panicked. His body shouldn't react like this. Not now, not yet but you were too attractive, too seductive and your lips were moistened with the sweetest love potion he had ever tasted. His repressed feelings for you broke free. He wanted you but in a more decent way. You were so precious and sweet and so special to him. He didn't want it to happen like this, you deserved better.

"I'm sorry, my princess, please excuse me. I'm…I'm back in a minute," Loki said quietly.

He cupped your cheeks with his hands and pressed a tender kiss to your forehead. He looked at you with a guilt-ridden face.

"Loki…let me help to…it's okay, everything is fine," you said quietly and you smiled at him, biting onto your lower lip.

His kisses made your skin tingle and they also made your desire for him bigger. He was shy now. This wonderful, strong and confident man was shy. How could you not fall in love with him?

"Please, just give me a minute, snowflake, it's not your fault, darling, you're perfect, so perfect" he whispered embarrassedly while he rubbed a thumb tenderly over your lips and off he went.

You watched him leave with a soft smile on your face and took a sip of your champagne and went over to the others. You wanted to give him all the time and space he needed. You knew he would come back to you.

"Uuhhh, what was that?" Nat teased you.

"A kiss," you answered, grinning like an idiot.

"Aaannnddd? Was it good?" Nat teased you further.

"Yeah!" you answered shortly, still grinning.

"He liked it too, I would say…"

"Hmmh yeah, I hope so, but I'm not a good kisser…"

"Hisss pantsss became too tight, theee tent I saw in hisss leathers was impressssive, sooo you must be a gooood kisser," Clint, obviously drunk, joined Nat's teasing.

"Think he needsss a moment to cool down…it's going to be a looong looong night for you, girrlll. Beee prepaaaared, he has great ssstamina." Clint said and Nat winked at you.

"You two are impossible," you said playfully, your cheeks reddening and you wished Loki would come back to you soon.

"Don't worry, dear. It was just a question of time. You two are a perfect couple. And as I said, he likes you very much…his hoodie, you know. Cheers, sweetie and a very Happy New Year," and Nat and Clint clinked their glasses with yours. Loki's hoodie…

You missed Loki, you didn't feel offended by him. You wished he wouldn't have gone. You were proud that you affected him so much and you wanted him to be by your side. You would have hidden his erection with your skirt if he had asked you to do it because you would never want him to feel embarrassed in front of others. You wanted him to feel safe with you. But he didn't ask you to do so. He preferred to leave the winter garden for a short while to cool himself down. It was alright for you, you understood him. You knew he felt embarrassed and that he would never try to hurt your feelings."

You saw Thor by the window-front, talking to Bruce and Tony and you went over to them.

"Happy New Year, guys!"

"Happy New Year, y/n!" the three answered in unison.

"Have you already thought about our job offer?" Bruce asked you curiously.

"Oh yes…I would love to work here, for you, for the Avengers. It's a great offer for me and a big opportunity. I also would like to rent an apartment here. I like being here and I don't want to live alone anymore. And it would be a short way to the lab," you laughed.

"You could move in with Loki," Thor grinned.

"What? No! I don't think he would want this. "

"But I think it would be nice for you to live together with my brother…he just kissed you, right? And when you're here you two are always together anyway, I mean…" and Thor shrugged his shoulders.

"Yeah, but… we're just friends I guess and now he's gone missing. Do you have an idea where he could be, Thor?"

"I'll look for him, Lady y/n…sometimes he acts somewhat…unpredictable."

You couldn't suppress a laugh.

"Thanks for your help, Thor. And…your brother is perfect. Loki is the most wonderful man I've ever met. He's lovable and caring."

"He is, Lady y/n. I look for him and bring him back to you." and off he went.

"So it's sealed? You'll work for and with us?" Tony asked.

"Yesss!" You answered enthusiastically.

"Then welcome to the team and to our family, y/n. And take good care of reindeer games! " Tony stated, shook your hand and congratulated you on your decision.

"I'll do that, I promise. If he lets me."

"He'll let you believe me. He has already fallen for you."

You didn't know what to answer because for you it wasn't that clear yet. You were still insecure.

"Awesome, y/n! Then I'll show you the lab in every detail in the next couple of days," said Bruce happily and shook your hand too.

"Thank you, Bruce, I can't wait to start."

You were overly happy that you had your dream job now but you rather wanted Loki to come back to you.

❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️💙❄️💙❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️

Godt nytt år - Happy New Year

Snøfnugg - snowflake

Tags:

@lokisprettygirl @wheredafandomat @smolvenger @lokixryss @huntress-artemiss @fictive-sl0th

[harmonyckrs]

DAY 5 in Twisted Strangetown: The One in Control

THE PREVIOUS DAY

Today marks the second day of staying with the Curious brothers in order to ease Pascal's worries. Due to this, we've had limited contact with the General, but I will assume that Boss has been able to resume communication with him.

My observations of the Smiths is that they are just normal (bruh). Further observation is needed. There's nothing particularly off putting about them that isn't any more off-putting about everyone else (you spent a whole day observing them with and your conclusion was this? This is why Ajay likes me more LOL). I admit it was nice to see other people with alien descent, though I wasn't a huge fan of the General talking about how all aliens were evil before proceeding to call Chloe and I "the exception." He was quite apologetic when he realized it offended me, however. I suppose he still has a lot to unlearn in regards to his alien biases.

I also overheard Pascal and Lazlo discussing a conversation they over heard Chloe having with Vidcund's kidnapper and her fuming over the riddle that he gave her in order to meet up with him in person. We've come to the conclusion that it might be an art museum, but it'll take some time to figure out which one. Either way, Chloe's recklessness may cause some hardships later (seriously? It ain't that big of a deal). We'll have to claim that the kidnapper was simply just trying to reach out to whichever family member will listen. Hopefully they will buy it.

C: So how's the subject doing, Aktu?

A: His name is Vidcund, and he's doing fine. I explained everything to him, and I think he's starting to cooperate. How are you feeling?

C: Really tired. And my head still hurts, but I'm sure it'll be gone in some time. What happened to the hat you always wore with that suit?

A: Dropped it by accident.

C: You realize that they could track you with that, right?

A: They couldn't even figure out my riddle! I don't think they're smart enough to use my hat to trace me here.

C: Figuring out who a hat belongs to through collecting DNA from it and solving a riddle require two different skills. They probably have your name already.

A: Well, I...fuck.

C: Just lay low for a while, and don't do anything stupid. If he's calm enough, you can probably just let him go and give him one of the rings we have that'll keep him immune to mind control.

A: Are you sure? We only have so many of those.

C: Yeah. I'm sure he cares about his family, right? We can use him as our mole with the promise of helping the rest of his family.

A: Good point! I'll give that to him as soon as I can.

C: Good. I don't want to use up too much battery on this hologram machine, so I'm going to end our call here. Just remember what I said...

THE NEXT DAY

---

BONUS:

ENERGY: 25%

I don't remember feeling this awful since having to leave Strangetown 20 years ago.

I was just a teenager! What was I thinking, going up against one of the most powerful people in all of Strangetown? And what was [REDACTED] thinking, fighting a fourteen year old for power? For the sake of the Watcher, I'm just a colony drone! I'm not powerful like the Birth Queens or Pollination Technicians!

And that's why I need to keep training. If I won that fight, then everyone would've been safe from [REDACTED]. And maybe I wouldn't feel as though they're always watching, even when we're miles away.

ENERGY: 50%

A: The weather is pretty nice today. Do you want to go outside?

V: Aren't I a hostage?

A: You're a test subject, not a hostage. Plus, you're really far from Strangetown, and Cyd and I have connections in all of Bluewater village from getting rid of the other guy who used to live here.

V: Makes sense. Who was the other guy?

A: Oh, nobody important. Think his name was, like, Malcolm Lemongrab or something. I forgot.

V: Malcolm LANDGRAAB? The heir to the richest family in the world?

A: Oh, shoot! You know him? That explains why the police came by with all those annoying questions. Cyd had to pretend to be Malcolm over the phone and act like he got abducted by aliens in order to get them to go away!

V: ...You're the worst criminal ever.

A: Well, it's my first time. So is that a yes or a no on the outing?

V: Eh, sure. Why not?

ENERGY: 75%

As I'm forced to remain in bed to recharge, I think about [REDACTED] and what they did. A part of me wonders what they have to gain from altering everyone's personalities. Power? Some sense of superiority that they have the ability to control everyone there? Fear of being discriminated against?

No matter. Once Aktu and I are done with this experiment, we'll be able to find a way to release Strangetown from the control of [REDACTED]. Peace will be restored, and Porthos and I can finally rest knowing that we've completed our mission.

ENERGY CHARGED: 100%

I think I'm ready to meet that subject now! What was his name again...Vincent or something? Ah, I'll figure it out.

Either way, it's a step closer to freeing Strangetown from [REDACTED]'s control.

[anomaly-high-diaries]

Lavande’s Basic Diary

Cover: You’d be sick to read my diary!

August 29th:

OMTB, so, it’s my first day of school! Like, a normal school, not home-school. Though, I have to live at the school, in a dorm, so I’m kinda home-sick… but it’s still nice! I’ve never been out of home for this long, like, not once, ever. Dad really freaked out when the letter showed up, but luckily grandfather thought it would be nice for me to make friends! Out of the family, of course. And friends who aren’t Ray-Ray, I’m not sure if he counts as a family member. Oh, almost forgot, I was allowed to bring Ray-Ray! He scared my roommate a little, but it’s all better now!

OH GOODNESS, I forgot to mention my roommate! Her name’s Connie, she’s so cool, she’s a human! I’ve never met a human before (Or well, a living one), so this is fun! She was a little freaked out, (I think she might be scared of me?) but she’s calmed down now. She’s pretty nice, and also hasn’t really been allowed to leave her home. I’m not sure why… but that’s just something we can bond over!

August 30th:

Ok, so, turns out the people here aren’t as friendly as I thought. I ran into this girl, I think her name was Royal, and she said I didn’t belong here. I’m not sure why she thought that though, and she wouldn’t tell me! She seemed kinda spooked. She said I was wrong? And she wouldn’t elaborate on what that meant. And this other girl, Wobble, I think (what is wrong with that girl’s parents) was like “you’ll regret scaring my roomie” and I was like “I need to head to class actually”.

So I went (to math class) but oh dear, this third girl who was also with the first two, her name is Sorchpia, I’m sure about that one, was also in the class! And she burned my paper! She said it was an accident though, so she probably didn’t mean too. And the teacher got me another paper! It didn’t happen again, but Sorchpia kept giving me weird looks.

September 1st:

Ray-Ray’s missing oh my grandfather where is my rat help he’s gone my boy crap

September 1st (again):

So uh, Connie found this note, and erm, well, I’ll just write what it said.

Daddy always said revenge was best served with blood.

I’m really freaked out, what if these are the people who took Ray-Ray? I’m searching all over the school for him, I’m like really freaked out right now WHERE IS MY BOY!?

But hey, I found this nice girl, Aviya, who offered to help find Ray-Ray! She came out of her dorm with her roommate after hearing me freak out, and asked what was wrong. I explained the situation, and she was willing to help! Her roommate, Oozelle, also offered to help, though she was somewhat reluctant. But hey, she is helping, so that’s gotta be good! Ooh, and she can walk through walls, so she can search faster!

Anyways, if anyone’s looking into my diary… Do you know where Ray-Ray is? Also stop looking into my diary please and thank you. Unless you’re me.

September 2nd

One time, a year or two ago, Ray-Ray’s left leg fell off. He started sniffing the leg. And I’ll admit it: I started crying like I was a child. It’s just that, rats’ legs weren’t supposed to do that. What would dad say? Would grandfather have to take him away? Dad heard me crying, and came in, asking what was wrong. He saw Ray-Ray.

Ray-Ray isn’t a normal rat. Dad doesn’t really like normal rats. He says they spread diseases. But don’t all animals have that ability? Anyways, Ray-Ray’s ability to spread disease was removed. Because of this, he’s all stitched up. So dad merely had to sew Ray-Ray’s leg back on! That was a lot of worrying about something so simple! He started giving me sewing lessons, in case something else happened and he wasn’t here to help. I was never really all that good with sewing, though I’m getting better!

I’m trying to remember them now. It’s good to think about anything else right now.

Anything other than the disassembled Ray-Ray left outside my room. Not a single piece moving.

September 3rd

I’m trying everything I can! But nothing’s sticking, Ray-Ray keeps falling apart. Connie told me that he might just be dead. But he’s not! For the brief time I stitch him up and he stays that way, he stands up, looks at me. He’s alive in there! I need to save him!

Who could doom him to a fate worse than death!?

Anyways, I sent dad a letter. Maybe he can help? Poor Ray-Ray…

Oh, and I made some progress! He’s blinking! Connie doesn’t see it, but I just think they have the same blink patterns. It’s nice Ray-Ray still has a sense of humor.

Oh, Connie just caught him blinking! What did I tell her? Yep, Ray-Ray’s still alive, but I don’t know for how long.

September 5th.

Dad’s response came. Now, I could copy down everything they wrote but I’m freaking out too much. And it’s hard, because their handwriting is not very good. Basically, their letter said this:

“I’m coming over.”

I’m just sitting here like, how is he gonna do that, I’m not even entirely sure how they got me here, and so is Connie and Aviya and Oozelle and everyone I asked. Connie asked if she could hide when they got here, for some reason. I’m also worried because, like, how serious is this? How bad is this? I don’t wanna lose Ray-Ray now, I really don’t. There’s so much he hasn’t gotten to do yet!

On the plus side I managed to get his tail to stay attached to his body. The tail wags a little. Maybe I’m making a mountain out of a molehill.

September 6th.

Dad arrived. The two of us were sitting in the headmistress's room. I just woke up here, and they said the same. The headmistress asked why we called the meeting, and I, screaming a little, explained the Ray-Ray situation.

“...You mean this Ray-Ray?” The headmistress turned her seat all around, and when she came back into view, she was holding Ray-Ray, good as new! He leaped into my arms, and while I was confused, I was mostly happy to see him ok! Dad, however, was way more confused, and demanded to know how she did that. She got out of her chair, and grabbed his hand. However, my grandfather did not appear. Dad was freaking out, obviously, I was a little worried too, and what she said next worried me more.

“No one will ever die at my school. No one can die at my school.”

And then I woke up, back in my room. Ray-Ray was on my lap, also having just woken up! Connie seemed aware I wasn’t there the whole time (or Ray-Ray) and was a little freaked out. We had just appeared when she wasn’t looking! It took a while to explain that I can’t usually teleport. I just told her that Ray-Ray was cured. I don’t want to worry her about anything else.

Death is a part of life. It happens to everyone, no matter how, or what, we will all die someday. And while it makes sense to postpone it and all that, I won’t pretend I didn’t freak out about possibly losing Ray-Ray, making it so no one can die here is messing with the natural order of things! While I would prefer to walk out of this school alive when summer comes, if there’s an accident that kills me, it should, you know, kill me!

But hey, Ray-Ray’s fine. And besides, there could be some other explanation for all this, like, maybe the Headmistress is immune to my dad’s touch and was just speaking in hyperbole, yeah, that’s probably more reasonable, right?

…Right?

[sincelastsession]

Oh mom and dad and friends can all have difficult times but if I do the fuck me I guess.

Why is it though that people don't care? Where is the "no fucks given up my own ass" born?

Because today there were 3 unattended children at the pool all under 13. Then two unrelated white dudes. So I called the courtesy officer and then immediately went outside when one of the men started trying to talk to the girls.

They eventually went back to apartment 60 and the old men left immediately after.

I cared because I didn't want to see kids abused etc... by two shady ass dudes. BUT THEIR OWN MOTHER DOESN'T CARE.

My parents told me they'd move me by July or end of August.

Now I have to wait until September.

Despite the fucking noise I do have physical disabilities.

Then another fucking family came out that doesn't live here and left the kids so I had to call brpd

Now we have another huge family who has hopped the fence screaming and crying and the officer said he was coming out.

I'm so fucking sick of talking to police officers.

I've spoken to 3 of them. THREE.

I'm treated like I'm crazy.

I'm so tired of this shit.

I have BEGGED my parents to answer the phone in real actual tears. They don't care.

Don't nobody fuckin understand me nor do they try nor do they give a fuck.

I'll probably wake up to my shit knocked over or something.

My parents think I'm insane and have told me to shut the fuck up and quit calling them.

Honestly I don't know what to do anymore.

I can't even relax to take care of myself.

They have just put the blame back on me for some reason which I don't understand.

They don't seem to understand that I'm having both APTSD episode and autistic meltdown they don't know how to deal with that I've asked them to learn please I've asked them nicely so many times

I don't have anybody else to call

I don't have a life because I can't calm down to go out to go places to have a life

But he tells me to get a life and it's like I'm trying fuck

When you have to live in a place that's super loud when you have mental issues that are from legitimately bad bad traumas

It is hell

I don't like having to take any of the medicine that I have to take but I have to take it every day

And I'm so tired of being treated like shit

They're gonna end up planning a fucking funeral instead of helping me

And they'll probably fuck that up and I'll have to hold everybody.

And these are just intrusive thoughts right now and I don't mean any of that.

I'm angry though because they don't understand that 1 day I might lose touch with reality like I have before that's how I got my original diagnosis of complex PTSD I just lost my fucking mind. I thought that you know everybody was trying to hurt me and attack me and I wasn't even safe in the hospital

But I've never been safe

And The Times that I thought I was safe with somebody or in some place it backfired and everything went to shit.

Like I just want to be loved and this is hell.

At this point I don't know at this point in time if I care about how mean I am to other people right now.

Because they do nothing but hurt me when no one else is around

Everybody fucking hurts me

Everybody treats me like a fucking insane and I'm not

I wish I had the money to fucking leave and never come back.

And they talk to each other behind my back about me they're just waiting for an excuse to put me in a psychfacility I'm just waiting for it

It doesn't matter that I'm gonna be abused by staff members of hospitals and psychfacilities and all of that it doesn't matter that that happened

Because I'm crazy and who would believe me

Because that's what everybody says about me

I'm so tired and I hate everything and it hurts so much in my chest everything hurts

It literally feels like there's just a giant hole in my chest all the time. And I hear people complaining about depression and it makes me want to scream at them because I don't even know why

It's just like I don't think people know real pain

I'm sure some do

But nobody knows my story and nobody gives a fuck

Nobody seems to understand that I'm having problems that are unrelated to manipulative behavior which everybody thinks that I do

I'm not trying to control or manipulate or fuck with anybody's head. Those thoughts don't even cross my mind and when they do it's usually because somebody has recently brought it up saying that I am manipulating and I'm doing this and I'm having a pity party at all of that and I'm not doing that.

What I'm scared of is A multitude of things.

My parents don't even know me.

They don't want to listen to me talk they don't care they want be to shut up.

I'm trying to order that together and they don't understand

They do not understand that I can lose touch with reality and flip out completely and I'm trying not to do that

And I'm scared that that is going to happen and I keep trying to tell them when they think I'm threatening them

I'm like you guys better plan for a fucking funeral then because if you guys continue to put me in a stressful condition like this and treat me like crap and blame everything on me and switch it up on me and cherry pick things from online articles and throw it in my face and use therapy against me and all that other crap then no they're not going to have a daughter because it's going to end up making me die

I have a brand new heart problem on top of all this and stress is not helping that either.

I'm not prescribed enough anxiety medicine to actually call me down completely it just slightly sedates me and that's not even working because I'm overpowering it.

Not consciously but that's what's happening.

I haven't even fucking eaten today because I can't

Because if I eat I'm gonna fucking throw up

I really just don't feel loved or cared for and I don't care how many times my parents need to tell me otherwise because they're just liars

It's hard to believe anything that they say

Everybody has me misunderstood completely and I don't know how to explain myself to them

I don't have the perfect vanacular it works to use

Every therapist I have had things that they have me pinned and they know what's going on

But they don't

I don't think you do either

I'm not doing these things that I've been accused of doing

I do actually have all of these diagnoses and sometimes unfortunately you have to go by the diagnosis treatments because that's what helps

I don't think that I'm being irrational. I don't think that anything that can be construed as a cognitive distortion is irrational right now

I think that my feelings are extremely valid.

But I don't think anybody cares about my feelings.

And nobody understands that I am in mental agony

Nobody understands what it's like to be autistic until they actually get the diagnosis and they're like oh my God this is why I've been like this my whole life

And this world is the built for people like me

The only people that understand my ptsd are fucking military people

To everybody else I'm just full of shit and making things up and haven't cognitive distortions and I can't shut up and I can't hold a fucking thought to save my life like gun head if I had to hold on to a thought I would end up getting shot

I mean it's 9:32 PM and there's people still at the pool screaming and hollering after 2 police officer vis it's and it's over a normal amount of sound

My fucking chest hurts.

And you know I really don't think that people care

They say they do but how can I trust that I don't really trust anybody

How could I trust anybody with some of the first interactions I've had with people have been literal child abuse pedophilia

And that's not my only trauma I can't even list all of them.

Some of them are so fucking hard to talk about that it just makes me want to run away immediately

I hate that I'm screaming into a phone crying because no one else will listen.

Yeah I hate that I'm about to just journal everything because no one really cares

I hate that I'm 37 and I feel like a little kid right now

Give me all I really need is for somebody to give me a hug and tell me it's gonna be okay and be reassuring and loving and caring and I'd never got that unless I was fucking dying the fucking hospital

I don't understand this world that I live in.

I have never understood why I was bullied.

I don't understand a lot and yeah I talk okay I don't sound autistic I don't act autistic as much as other people but that doesn't mean that I'm not.

I feel like if I had the money and could pay somebody to watch my cats and could fill up my car and pack a bag and just drive that I would probably make it to the Canadian border and all through 20 different states before people even noticed I was gone

But I get too much anxiety leaving my apartment to go to the fucking grocery store which is something that I never imagined myself doing

Why am I being put through all of this

I am nothing but nice to people and then they are awful to me and then they wonder why I snap back

Yeah because I show them a mirror of their bullshit and they don't like it so they hang up or they yell at me or they treat me like shit I can't help that I do those things though

All I have known how to do my whole life is to watch other people and copy what they do because I don't know how to be a person very well it's just a copy of a fucking copy of a fucking copy I'm just mirroring I'm just creating a mask so I feel safe enough to be in a space with other people because I don't feel like I'm welcome

I have never felt like my entirety has been welcome in any space

I'm so tired and I'm just want to sleep it's going to be held and I just want to be loved

And I can't even trust another person to do that properly because they'll take advantage of me

And I don't want to go to a cycle facility and I don't want to have my medicine fucked with

And I miss my old saying kai interested actually fucking stud me figured me out it was the only person that had me figured out

He knew and he understood what I went through

And this new Doctor he understands what I'm going through with the PTSD and with the abuse

But he didn't really doesn't even fucking care unless I give him money for an appointment and I can't afford a psychotherapy appointment on top of regular appointments from my medicine

And I see you and I talk to you and I don't think we're looking at the right things I don't think that we're focusing on the correct things

I feel like everybody is so focused about how I speak in the fact that I interrupt because I can't hold on to a fucking thought to save my life and I don't know how to fix that and if I did holy shit I would

I am very aware of how I act and how that looks to people no matter if I'm or not

You know I told my dad that he damaged my neck like I have damaged soft tissue from him ripping my head down to the ground almost while my sister was attacking me

He didn't give a fuck he told me he didn't give a fuck

He's still doesn't care that I've had to speak with police officers today and that I'm in distress he doesn't give a shit he thinks I'm spoiled he wants me to show you all the text messages that I sent that we're completely logical except for the last one where I exploded

I mean what am I supposed to do I don't have money to go leave my apartment and go places

I don't feel comfortable by myself in the library because I've how many weirdos just approach me

I don't know why weirdo's keep approaching me no matter where I am I feel like a fucking magnet for them

I've read plenty of articles that saying that people who have been abused especially in early childhood are going to be targets as they get older and that's true that I am proof of that and I didn't even know it I'm like oh why is this happening oh it's because I'm somehow magically giving off target energy

I'm not fucking aware of what it is that I'm doing wrong and then when people tell me I don't quite understand that either because it's so far-fetched from what I'm actually saying or doing that it doesn't make any sense to me

I'm tired of being in this apartment I'm tired of not being able to get out and go places because the only person that can give me a ride is Travis and he goes to bed early and I'm not mad at him about that I'm just aggravated that I can't see very well at night anymore because I'm getting older and so I can't go to all these events that all my friends want me to go to

And none of these people are really my friends anyway. I don't really think that anybody knows what friendship is anymore. Because the same people that invite me to go out are the same people that hang around with other people who hate my fucking guts and talk shit about me and spread bullshit around the friend community and then I have to hear about it from someone else Eventually

Like there's a giant rumor going around that me and Travis are dating which I have had to tell people multiple times that that is not what is happening

Also I'm an untrustworthy bitch according to Bonnie and everybody who's friends with her ass

Then the people who are neutral I don't quite understand it's like okay so you're gonna go on a before marriage trip to fucking Mexico with my ex best friend who is a heinous bitch and made fun of a sober person and the person that overdosed that I care about

Why is it that the meanest motherfuckers get away with so much.

I mean do I need to start being mean all the time

What's the difference between being assertive and mean because I try to be assertive all the time but everybody calls me a bitch and I'm like oh great wonderful so I failed that again

Why do all these people get away with shit and it's OK

Why is it me that's always the problem?

[malinosh]

Firsts

A warm sigh of beauty,

A little sigh of relief.

New traditions,

Old memories.

A radiant tear of joy,

A silent tear of sadness.

The first holidays after birth and death.

Maverick had his first Thanksgiving of his life. We had our first Thanksgiving without my Dad here with us. Granted, we have already experienced Halloween, but Dad wasn’t a huge Halloween fan, and Thanksgiving is basically the start of the holiday season.

We had a nice time overall. We visited with the Trapp side of the family, and my mom joined us. They had invited her at the same time I asked to include her, and I’m so glad she came. We got to see Mav and his cousin playing and enjoying the delicious Thanksgiving foods, as well as spend time with loved ones. I’m beyond grateful for kind, caring family who understand.

I felt a little guilty, though. While I had all the feels and emotions, I felt like I had to suppress them for the sake of Maverick. My therapist is in my head saying, “No, you need to get through what you need to get through and then make sure to go let out your emotions however that may look ie crying, music, writing etc.” I was there for Mav, introduced him to at least 4 new foods, chatted with family, and he was a perfect distraction. But I feel guilty because I was also sad and Mav’s first holidays shouldn’t be overshadowed either.

On the other hand, guilt seeped in because I wasn’t more sad to be celebrating without my Dad with us in person. Guilt was present on both accounts.

It doesn’t seem fair to Maverick, but I am doing the best I can. Isn’t that all we can do? The mind is a beautiful (and sometimes scary) thing; the brain is powerful. Birth and death are spiritual events, and 6 months apart - on top of emotions you already have from birth - is overwhelming. I have learned so much about how my brain works and processes information, though.

Everything is in a new light. Those simple, time passing chats with others suddenly mean so much. The laughs that come with a funny quote from an innocent family member are stored in my memory. The guys watching football brings back flashbacks but you enjoy the sight, not even knowing the score or outcome of the game. And that food tastes delicious; there was love in the making of the food, and when sharing your meal with your baby there is love in the serving of the food.

In many ways it was a beautiful day as Maverick’s first Thanksgiving and time with family, and that is what a holiday should entail. In another way, I’m glad we got through the first holiday without Dad and that it is over. I know he wouldn’t want us to be sad because of him, though, but to celebrate with Maverick.

I thought it was difficult enough having my Dad receive the diagnosis of ALS while I was pregnant. I had to stay calm and as happy as possible because this little miracle felt everything that I felt and I didn’t want to start his life off negatively in the womb. But this is a different kind of difficult, that I wish for nobody.

And now onto Christmas soon.

I’ve found that it is helping to remember the reason for each holiday as well, instead of focusing on self or grief. Celebrating the holidays is tricky because each family does have traditions, but it is helpful to remember why we are celebrating, while we create new memories.

During our mini Christmas photo session with my friend, I read a portion of ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas to Mav. Yes, I also bought the book to read to him soon, too. That was our story every Christmas Eve that Daddy read to my brother and me. One year, when we were adults, we couldn’t find the book. We almost have it memorized! But not quite, so we did a last minute online search for a free version of the words. When we found it, we printed it off and had Dad read it to us. Individual papers were all over, who knows where now, but the memory remains.

Isn’t it ironic how the highs and lows of life can intersect? I’ve heard that passed down from many wise females in my family, and I believe it is for a reason. When the lows of life happen, we have those highs to help us get through them.

Maverick - you are an absolute miracle. I am soaking up all of the seconds with you and loving each part of your childhood. I am not wishing away anything and I am blessed to be your mom. I know countless women want the opportunity to be a mother, and you chose me. I am enjoying your many facial expressions, babbles and stories, milestones, mannerisms, and first holidays. Days are beautiful. We love you.

Dad - we miss you beyond words. I’m grateful you are not suffering anymore and I’m grateful for the comfort that we will see you again, but it does not make the time here without you any better. I talk to you often. At work, we talk about you often and your patients sure do care about you. Days are different. We love you.

[oliviasbookshelf]

Hero for the Bride Ch 2: Meet Steffan

’afternoon’ was such a vague direction. Hazel's stomach twisted with anxiety all morning. Was just past noon too eager? She didn’t want to be tardy either. Eventually it all came down to how badly she very much wanted to spend more time with Steffan. There was no risk in appearing overeager since she was eager and what’s the shame in that?

Jac was almost as eager to pry. “He’s very handsome,” he grinned over the breakfast table.

Her father looked between the two quizzically, “does he still go by Lili then?”

“Lili got married last Haradsday,” Hazel sighed, accepting his pitying pat on the back, “I threw myself a pity party at the university when I found out, made a friend who later walked me home.”

“He’s tall, broad shouldered, and well dressed,” Jac stated between bites of biscuit. “And respectful. Didn’t even try to kiss her goodnight.”

Griffin laughed to himself. “Well that’s good, isn’t it? You were never one to wallow for long. A nice respectful gentleman, the cure for your broken heart, easy as anything. Is he local?”

She could feel my face burning under her father’s eager smile. “He’s from Byliad. Right now he’s staying with a family uptown.”

“Oh that’s nice, not shabby at all, much better than a household’s maid.” He was quickly lost to his calculations. As a businessman, Hazel's father was always adding up the profits. With Jac inheriting the business, his main endeavor was making sure she’d be cared for after he retired. Not that Jac would leave her in the poorhouse, but she was a bit too proud to accept charity from a boy seven years her junior. “Byliad is mostly courtiers, nobility, and all of the service, knights and beggars that come with that sort of class dominating a city.”

“Well, he’s not a beggar,” Jac quipped, “and a member of the service wouldn’t have free time to dally with this one all day. Remember last year when she only got a half hour a day every other day with that maid?”

My father nodded sagely, clearing his plate, “a real knight in shining armor riding in to save you from your heartbreak. Sounds exactly like the kind of love story your mother would have wanted for you.”

“Don’t jinx it,” she knocked softly on the wooden table, trying to scatter any eavesdropping spirits before they could ruin it. “it’s not a love story yet. I just had my heartbroken; I’m probably just seeking comfort.”

She was in love.

Years of heartbreaks faded to nothing but childlike crushes when Hazel returned to the chapel. Steffan hadn’t noticed her yet. His strong voice reverberated through the space as he pointed workers to their projects. The building was a swarm of activity inside and out, but he stood out as a pillar of calm in the middle of it all. The eye of the storm. The enduring lighthouse in rocky tides.

“You really called in some favors, huh,” she marveled, stepping carefully around fallen debris and clasping a hand on his shoulder.

“Just a few. Luckily—” he turned and froze while he took her in. She had borrowed a pair of Jac’s breeches for the day, expecting to be performing heavy physical labor. The lacings had to be loosened to accommodate her hips, so she left the shirt untucked to hide the gaps in the fabric. It wasn’t a terribly immodest outfit, though it was hard to miss that the thickness of her legs weren’t just a trick of petticoats. Steffan cleared his throat. “Luckily Braelic is a festival of artisans and blacksmiths, so there are plenty of folks looking to prove their skill in stained glass and fixtures.”

The door had already been replaced. Its new ornate hinges swung easily as Steffan led them inside. Workers were taking measurements of the windows and evaluating the walls and ceiling, leaving plenty of room for them to walk down the narrow aisle.

“We can tidy up the floors when they’re done constructing, but I thought we could get started on the murals. We need to get plaster into the cracks first and foremost, since it will take days to dry.”

Hazel took the swaths of cotton and container of plaster that was offered to her. Steffan demonstrated with a long crack that had broken the hero Brenn’s pole arm in two. His thick yet graceful fingers pressed the plaster into the crack, smoothing it with the cotton. He worked with such care and attention that she could swear he was being sensual on purpose. Two could play at that game.

Hazel readjusted the pins in her braids so that a soft coil would fall along the length of her neck and rolled up the sleeves of her shirt to expose her arms. She might not have had the delicate unmarried skin of a lady, but she knew her muscles had a charm of their own.

They worked the rest of the afternoon in silence, each starting from opposite sides of the mural. Steffan continued to treat the painting with reverence, carefully going over it inch by inch. Hazel strove to meet his diligence, feeling an absurd need to make him proud. Art had never been a big draw for her —the fresco was mostly fruiting trees and poorly rendered rabbits— but it was obviously important to Steffan and she was willing to give it a try.

Together they patched up the last of the cracks along Angharad’s arms. The workers had gone home for the day as the light had faded.

“It will take the rest of the week to dry,” Steffan explained, “so we won’t be able to do much until next week.”

She nodded, trying to hide her shock at how lengthy a process it was. She could be patient though. She was nothing if not patient. “I’m assuming there are similar altars around the city? If you’re not too busy, maybe you can show me what a finished piece is supposed to look like.”

That coaxed a grin from him. “I haven’t seen much of Bridgaea’s churches myself, if I’m honest. I rarely leave Byliad.“

“Then we can explore them together, if you’d like.”

“I would love nothing more. For now we ought to get you back before it gets too dark.”

With a grateful sigh, she took his offered arm. It was only the second night, but being walked back to the hotel felt like a comfortable routine already. The comfort was quickly broken when her father met them in the square, feigning some trouble with his mule.

“Hazel! Thank goodness, can you give me a hand with this harness?”

“Papa, I—”

“Here, sir, let me,” Steffan, chivalrous as ever, stepped in and made quick work of the leather straps.

“Thank you, young man!” My father grinned at Hazel. “The cold must be getting to my fingers, I just couldn’t get the buckles loose.”

“It’s no problem at all, sir,” Steffan stepped back, handing over the harness with a polite nod. “Steffan Kennedy, sir. I can take your mule to the stables if you need to go inside and warm up.”

“So this is the Steffan that our sweetest Hazel has said so much about! It’s a joy to meet you, lad. Do say you’ll join us for dinner.”

“It would be an honor, sir.”

“Please, call me Griffin—”

“Does your house not expect you back for dinner?” Panic twisted in Hazel's chest. If what Jac and her father had said was true, then it would be wildly embarrassing to subject someone of Steffan’s standing to a pub dinner.

“They would be overjoyed if I failed to return tonight,” Steffan joked as he started the mule towards the stables. “I’ll meet you inside.”

As soon as he was out of sight, Hazel gave her father a gentle elbowing. “You’re the worst. Who removes tack in the middle of the street? That wasn’t casual at all.”

“Come on,” he grinned, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, “we need to get you cleaned up and changed. If he can’t put up with your embarrassing family, then he’s not the one my dear.”

Steffan looked out of place in the dim pub, seated between Jac and Hazel, but he didn't seem to notice. The man was just excited to see something new.

“So, Steffan,” Griffin murmured between bites of beef stew. “What line of work are you in.”

“Papa—”

“My family’s in politics,” Steffan replied quickly. “I’ll be working with the church starting on Brenna.”

The three visibly stiffened. Griffin never liked the church, distrusting the institution immensely. They rarely stepped foot inside the holy city of Astrea, even for Haradsday. They spent the holiday vending outside the city limits. The sales were low, but the man's venom for the church was greater than his salesmanship.

“Gonna be a eunuch then, huh.”

“Oh, no, nothing like that,” Steffan grimaced. “I’m merely to be an ambassador to ensure that the royal family and church leadership are kept in check.”

Griffin relaxed a bit at that, dipping his spoon back into his bowl. “I hear that. Keep ’em honest for us. The church has a lot of secrets and I imagine the royal family does too.”

Hazel contemplated hiding under the table.

“Secrets, sir?”

He just had to break out the conspiracy theories on their first meeting.

“Like the high priestess herself, they say she had a baby. The high priestess is always Flux, ain’t she? The whole reason they elect a Flux woman to the position is because they have the power to give life. But that power comes at the cost of having children. If she had a baby, then she’s not Flux is she.”

“That’s why it was a miracle, sir.”

“Then where is she? This child? It’s been more than a decade since anyone’s seen her. The priestess faked the pregnancy to frame herself as the second coming of Astella.”

Steffan nodded thoughtfully, obviously disagreeing but not wanting to escalate it into an argument. “I suppose that will be something I’ll have to investigate once I take the position. They say the girl, Angharad, was brought up in a convent, but you’re right— someone should have seen her in the past twenty years.”

“She named her daughter after the goddess?” Hazel started to put the pieces together.

“Thinks herself Astella, I’m telling you,” Griffin gestured with his spoon.

“It’s such a large name to saddle the poor girl with,” Jac broke the tension with laugh. “No wonder she doesn’t wanna show her face. I wonder if the nuns gave her a nickname.”

“I’ll find that out too. I’ll let you know.”

Relief flooded Hazel's limbs as Steffan and Jac grinned at each other. Her father had gone on an anti-church rant and Steffan hadn’t run away. He planned on keeping in touch, by the sounds of it.

“With a career bridging church and country, will you still live in Byliad or will you be moving to Astrea?” She asked.

“Byliad,” Steffan confirmed, “with even fewer travel opportunities than I have now, I’m afraid. I was born and I’ll die in the family home.”

Hazel's mind couldn’t wrap around the idea or why he seemed to dread it. Who couldn’t be happy with a solid place to rest their head? How could anyone abhor the stability of having a home? Especially as a man who loves paintings on walls— that kind of luxury doesn’t exist if the wall isn’t yours.

The rest of dinner went lighter. Griffin got to talk about his traveling armory. Steffan apparently had little knowledge of fine blades, but dutifully looked impressed every time the older man bragged about a piece he had retailed. Steffan thrilled them with stories of his two younger siblings. His brother had taken up a baking apprenticeship in Appalicia, which seemed to amuse Steffan to no end. His sister was set to marry a politician from Grousau in a fortnight as part of some new initiative to prevent war with the neighboring nation.

“There has to be a better answer than sending our daughters to that brutish nation,” Griffin winced. “My family used to trade up north a few generations ago, but this new empire of theirs is cruel. No Rees has been further north than Ubrait for at least a hundred years.”

“Ffion will be fine,” Steffan said, though his expression had closed off. “She’s clever and resilient.”

“I hope you’re right,” Griffin closed out the meal with a sympathetic glance.

[finelinevogue]

Just wanted to say 2 things:

1)Love the fic where he proposed over a cup of tea…so sweet💗

2) we all know how H has asthma sometimes so…could u write something w/the reader helping him with an attack idk or during an interview/concert/family gathering do as u pls

A nice day

XOXO

firstly, thank you so much that’s so sweet of you <33 and secondly, um yes i would love to give this a go at writing for you! hope you enjoy;

Harry couldn’t breathe.

He was in a panic, completely terrified of the uncontrollable situation. He was having an asthma attack concocted with a panic attack and it was brutal.

“Shit,” Jeff whispered as he watched Harry breathe heavily and loudly on the floor. His friend was currently on his hands and knees trying to gasp for air, whilst dressed in his notorious Fine Line outfit.

It was the big night. The one night only at The Forum for the release of his new album Fine Line, hence the costume. He had been nervous all day, with shaking hands and a tendency to forget simple things. You had been with him all day; having a slow brunch together out in the Hollywood Hills and then just chilling around for the afternoon. You didn’t want to anything to strain his voice, so talking hadn’t been an option. That left you either to sleeping and cuddling, whilst watching a movie, or sex. Now you were all for sex, but Harry complained that he liked talking to you during it and so that got shut down pretty quickly. You didn’t forget what he whispered to your ear though just before you cuddled into watching Bambi;

“Keep your moans for later, you’ll be fucking needing them for what I have planned.”

But that was over two hours ago now. Harry had been whisked away to start getting ready, what with hair and makeup first. You’d left him to it, telling him you would just lounge around and wait for him. It was when he was getting into costume had you announced you were just going to go down the street to get some coffee from Dunkin’ - seeing as there were few of them back in England, where you most commonly lived with Harry. The problem was you hadn’t come back yet, and it was an hour later.

“Harry mate, you need to calm down.” Kid Harpoon told him carefully, kneeling down next to his good friend. Nothing was working though and Harry was too breathless to ask anyone for his inhaler.

It had started by thinking about how nervous he actually was for tonight. It was such a huge show and one of a kind too. He was playing his new album and it wasn’t even 24 hours old yet. There was so much pressure weighing him down that he couldn’t breathe - he was suffocating in the anxiety of his own mind and he couldn’t escape at all. Then because he was in so much of a panic his asthma hit him and added another reason to his breathlessness. It was finally made worst when he realised you weren’t by his side to help him. You weren’t there to quickly eliminate the asthma and focus on helping him overcome the panic attack, instead he had his mates surrounding him - crowding him - and they didn’t know the first thing to do.

“Sarah, where’s Y/N?” Mitch shouted, making Harry squint the thought away. He didn’t want to think about how something back might’ve happened or might be happening to you. Where were you? Sarah’s response did no better to help him.

“I don’t know.”

“Harry bud. Talk to us.” Jeff spoke, crouched down in front of him. Harry shook his head, tears running from his eyes as he began crying. The sobs were really harsh and embarrassing. The tears were heavy and mixed with snot running from his nose to pool on the floor below him. He was not doing well at all, coughing when the asthma choked him up. He couldn’t do this. He felt like he was in a small box and it was only getting smaller. He felt as if he were going to die. Genuinely.

“Does he look like he can talk, dickward.” Adam’s voice came from the other side of Harry, messing his head up even more. There was so many voices and he couldn’t focus on just one, but he didn’t want to. He wanted yours. He needed yours. You.

Whenever this has happened before he was always luckily in the comfort of his home, or the tour bus and always with you. So this was unfamiliar and terrifying. He was beginning to think you’d left him or you’d gotten seriously hurt, but he couldn’t do anything to help. He was stuck - paralysed to this position as his lungs collapsed in on themselves and his brain sped the same speed as a train. You were his comfort person and it was only ever you that he wanted in situations like these. Just you.

“Move out of my way. Move!” Harry thought he heard you and your voice, but he hated that his mind could be playing tricks on him in desperation for what, or whom, he truly wanted.

He felt someone crash on the floor in front of him and the almighty smell of lavender and soap hit him all at once. This time, he was glad to have someone sit so close to him, because it was you.

“Harry look at me, hey, hey. You’re okay. Look at me bubs.” You spoke calmly, trying not to sound panicked yourself, even if you were heavily worried. You watched as he looked up at you, eyes ridiculously red and puffy whilst his nose was dripping like a leaking tap. You wanted to rub his tears away and dab away the snot, but your main priority was on his breathing first. “Okay good, okay.”

Your hand went into your bag and picked out his inhaler. You shook it a few times, before putting it into Harry’s mouth. “On three, one, two, three…” Harry tried is best to breathe in and you pushed down on the canister. “Good, bubs, really good. Okay again, one, two, three…” You repeated and then a third time until you could tell that the wheezing of his asthma attack had disappeared.

“T-than…” Harry tried to mumble out, but couldnt because he was still in panic and his throat was so dry.

“Sshh you’re okay.” You turned to one of the crew members and asked for them to fetch you a bottle of water. You asked people to clear out of the room and leave you with Harry for a bit, knowing he wouldn’t settle in front of all these people. You sat on the floor, crossed legged, and brought Harry to lay his head in your lap with his body trailing behind. You offered him one of your hands to squeeze if he wanted to, which he appreciated, cupping both of his around yours. Your other hand laid to stroke through his gelled hair - that would no doubt have to be redone now.

Instead of going straight into talking to him, you sang his favourite lullaby to him in aid of calming him down. It always worked, or at least helped a little. You sang quietly, noticing the beat of his heart soften with every line you sung. You were by no means a professional singer like him, but he liked the way it was so imperfect and mellow. It calmed him to hear something so simple and so you. Whilst you sang the crew never came back with your requested water and you thanked them, before you were the only ones left in the room.

After you finished singing you noticed how calm Harry was, almost still - the complete opposite to how he’d been all of 10 minutes ago. It was amazing what the power of you could do to him.

“What colour are we feeling?” You and Harry had created your own little system by which you would let each other know how you’re feeling by a colour of the rainbow. You’d designated a meaning to all of them that only you two could understand and used them on the days when you weren’t feeling great, to help understand each other’s feelings better.

“The whole bloody rainbow.” Harry mumbled out and you passed the water around so he could take a few sips, to which he thanked you graciously for.

“Oi, you can’t have that as your answer.” It was a rule that you could only use one colour to some your most intense emotion in that moment, otherwise there was kind of no point to the system.

“But it’s true. I feel grey with confusion, blue with sadness, purple with frustration, yellow with fear and even light yellow with cowardice. Yet I feel pink with happiness and light red with love.”

“What about red red?” You teased, not being able to help yourself.

“What? Lust? Always, for you that is.” You leant down to kiss his head as he cracked a joke, showing you that your Harry was still there beneath all this worry.

“Tell me what the colours represent in real life.”

“Purple because I am frustrated that I had to have a panic attack right before the biggest show of my career. Yellow because I am frightened that nobody will like the album and it will be a complete fail of a night. Grey because I can’t choose one colour and focus on it. I.. I—”

You could tell he getting himself worked up again, so cut him short. “Bubs stop, you’re okay. Listen to me.” You tucked his hair behind his ear as if to open it up for him to hear better. “Don’t ever be frustrated with yourself for something like this. You are allowed to have moments of weakness; you wouldn’t be human if you didn’t. Did this compromise your show? No. Did this show off how strong and brave you are? Yes. That’s what is important, therefore we can swap purple for dark yellow because you were brave. Which means yellow can also turn to dark yellow because you are so brave for doing something so huge and so wonderful. People already love the album H. Can’t get enough of it. Everyone will sing along to every word, I can promise you that. Or at least I will. You are amazing, so never undersell yourself. That’s important to me and for you. Bubs, you are so amazing for what you’re doing here tonight and I couldn’t be prouder of you. Yes, a panic attack isn’t nice and it isn’t convenient, but it just helps show how much you care about tonight and it going a success. That must count for something.”

He didn’t say anything for a bit and that was okay. He was most likely getting his thoughts together and mentally preparing himself for the greatest night of his life. You bent your body over so you could hug him, since his back was to your front, and just give him a squeeze to reiterate how proud you are of him.

“Y/N.” Harry spoke quietly, as your body encased his. You embraced his warmth and inhaled the beautiful scent that he was wearing. He both smelt and looked phenomenal.

“Yes bubs.”

“You know I love you right?” Of course you did, but it still made your heart flutter as crazy as the first time he said it to when he tells you now.

“I do.”

“And you know you’re it for me right?”

“Well.. I—” You didn’t want to get too ahead of yourself.

“Because you are.” Harry turned himself around, making you sit up so he could move. He was lying with his head facing upwards now, face looking less red and puffy, and staring right into the souls of your eyes. He looked magical. Beautiful. He thought the same of you. “And,” he moved his fingers to take off his S ring from Gucci, that probably cost more than your annual salary, and place it onto your ring finger of your right hand, “I give you this as a promise to share my last name with you someday.”

Seeing the initial of his last name sat on the finger opposite to the one he claimed he would one day put two more rings on, brought you to tears. “Harry…” You didn’t know what to say, you were speechless. You had never expected for him to do something as monumental as this and had never experienced it before to know how to react.

Of course you’d always dreamt of marrying him and being his for eternity, but never thought of it possibly becoming your reality. Now, Harry was completely devoting himself to you and only you and it suddenly all felt like the dream was settling in place.

“I swear to you Y/N, i’ll love you until the next lifetime and i’ll find you again. I love you so much, I can’t even tell you how much because it is so infinite. You’re so kind and patient with me and you see me for me, not for the Harry Styles, just Harry. I’ll never let a day pass without you on my mind and I think it’s because you were always meant to be mine. My heart is yours.” He smiled once he noticed you were crying, moving one of his hands up to wipe the tears away.

“How do I top that?” You whispered to him, but mostly to yourself. Both of you laughed.

“Just tell me you love me.”

“I do. I do love you Harry.” You nodded and then he sealed your confirmation with a kiss to his lips. You rested your hand upon his cheek, placing the coolness of the S ring upon his cheekbone, as he placed his hand under your chin to guide you into the kiss. He tasted divine and you smiled knowing that you got to have him like this, taste him like this, for the rest of your beating hearts’ days.