#and not have to keep it out of service for like 6-8 weeks while my fucking tears and shit heal like god so fucking ANNOYING ugh sjdhfjjfjf

[seraphicalsuccubus]

oh god the next time I get fucked he’s literally going to tear my pussy in half with how much I can feel myself stretching around my small glass dildo when I’m just trying to get the fucking thing inside me right now so I can feel stretched and filled while I grind on my wand 😅🥵

[waterloggedsoliloquy]

mutual 1: sorry the update for my webcomic this week is a bit late! i really had to rush it so it prolly looks really sloppy lol [some of the most sophisticated comic art ive ever seen]

mutual 2: call me uterine lining the way astarions cervix got me bleeding profusely

mutual 3: do you think nanowrimo will give me a posthumous pity publishing deal if i mention it in my suicide note

mutual 4: okay fine i finally started revolutionary girl utena

mutual 5: does columbo know the service he did for butch lesbians. for all of us

mutual 6: wish you were here [blurry picture set of conifer woods in early autumn evening, taken as if frantically running down a winding trail]

mutual 4: im pretty hardy i dont need the trigger list but thanks for looking out for me guys

mutual 7: good morning lovelies another day the wizard tried to best me and another day i successfully locked him in the spare bathroom lol hope u like drinking shampoo fucker

mutual 8: here is a zip of every yuri manga scan i have and here is a backup in case i get dcma'd. the himejoshi lifestyle will never die

mutual 9: i wish i could go back in time to the shinzo abe assassination and ask to hold the doohickey

mutual 10: here's my essay on how wanting to be loved is the same as wanting to be eaten. three paragraphs in you'll find out that this is 100% tied to an obscure beauty and the beast manga i've been reading lately and how much i want to fuck the beast

mutual 4: oh thats why there was the trigger list.

mutual 11: YOU CAN'T LOCK ME IN THIS BATHROOM FOREVER

mutual 12: why do i have to defend my thesis to people i dont even respect. im not dickriding you just give me the degree

mutual 13: its just me and this scab ive picked into my scalp against the world

mutual 14: my little dragon got glazed and is ready to go into the kiln! everyone wish him good luck!

mutual 3: nvm i am a beautiful genius. perhaps the most beautiful genius of all

mutual 15: i think we should give david lynch rpgmaker and whatever happens happens

mutual 16: kpeyboaatrds brpokem gpuys

mutual 17: also heres my work in progress glossary of mixtec words! i still have a long way to go but i love being able to preserve my roots even in this small way

mutual 4: i just finished the black rose arc. question: what

mutual 18: i need emet-selch to be my wife

mutual 19: i need glados to be my husband

mutual 20: visited the ocean today!!! <3 beach pics!!! there is a darkness growing within me

mutual 21: the forms for my legal name change came in. pls vote in this poll of what my middle name should be: Dill Pickle (Dickle for short), Optimus Prime, Tumblr User Gorgonicteratologist, Smeve

mutual 22: just finished my 100th book of the year! this weeks read was the uses of enchantment by the psychologist bruno bettelheim,

mutual 23: reeses penis butter cups lol

mutual 4: i need to hunt akio for sport

mutual 24: oouugghhrgh. hot. dog.

mutual 25: your favorite character or fictional other would want you to brush your teeth and wash your face so you're well rested and wake up feeling refreshed! make them proud!

mutual 26: being a delivery driver isnt the worst job ive ever had but i do keep wondering what itd be like to drive off into the wild blue yonder one day and not come back

mutual 27: weird dog? [phone picture of critically endangered stork]

mutual 28: i think the two phone line polls in front of my house are having a lovers tryst. no way to prove it tho

mutual 4: WHAT

mutual 29: while you bitches are balduring your gates or finalling those fantasies im doing what a REAL gamer does. playing a b tier rpg that came out in 2004 for the 18th time

mutual 30: ^ real. hamtaro ham ham heartbreak is a masterpiece of interactive art. im not even going to call it a video game at this point

mutual 4: THAT'S HOW IT ENDS?! ANTHY?

mutual 31: can you help me pick which drawing looks better: 34% overlay or 36% soft light?

mutual 32: new video essay out. its called disability in video game narratives: final fantasy 14's most reliable fault. i churned the script out over an all-nighter and my mic crapped out halfway through but by god i did it

mutual 33: my new zine bundle is out! if you buy it you also get a discount on all my game jam games! i really cant wait for you to play them!

mutual 4: yall should watch revolutionary girl utena

[matchingbatbites]

Love Grows - Part 2

More teen dad Steve! This shaping up to be around 8-9 parts, so keep an eye out for more!

Ao3 | Part 1 | Part 3

March '85

Steve gets more comfortable bringing Rosemary to school. Twice a week he brings the 6 month old along as he goes to class, and when Eddie asks him about it one day, Steve just shrugs. "I used to pay for a sitter on those days, because the usual one can't watch her, but I'd rather have her with me since everyone knows anyway." And yeah, that makes sense.

Eddie starts taking her during Steve's free period, so the guy has a chance to do some schoolwork without worrying about keeping an eye on his kid. He enjoys it, the time he gets with Rosie one-on-one, but he really enjoys lunch on those days, because Steve will bring her out to Eddie's van - which Eddie scrubbed clean before offering the first time - and they'll eat lunch and talk while Rosie stretches out in the soft blankets laid out in the back.

He gets some weird looks, including the occasional piercing stare from Nancy Wheeler that he pointedly ignores, as well as his own share of whispers whenever he goes around with Rosie. He’s grateful that the years of acting out, of perfectly honing his loud, unruly persona has left him immune to the chatter. All that matters is Rosie, and Steve, and making sure they’re both taken care of.

The first time Steve asks him to watch Rosie outside school hours, he is visibly stressed. Apparently there's a big basketball game this Friday night and Steve's usual sitter is unavailable, and is there any way he could watch Rosie for a couple of hours? Please?

There's a little voice in the back of Eddie’s mind that screams about it being a Hellfire night, and a baby would be too distracting, would just get in the way. The tantrum is quickly silenced when Steve shoots him those pleading, hazel puppy eyes, and fuck, Eddie’s resolve falls like a house of cards. On Friday he finds himself taking Rosie's carrier and diaper bag as Steve rambles on a little, clearly nervous. 

"I fed her like an hour ago, so she should be okay until after the game. She should stay asleep the entire time, but if she wakes up, just hold her- And you know what you're doing, I don't know why I'm going on about this." 

Eddie can't help the smile that spreads over his face as he reaches out to pat Steve's shoulder. "It's fine, man. You're worried about the game and you're projecting. It'll be okay." 

Steve nods and takes a breath. "Do you want me to meet you back here after the game? Or I can come to wherever you are to get her, if that's easier." 

Eddie hoists the diaper bag higher on his shoulder. "I’m actually going to be hanging around for a little while. There's a room back behind the drama department, you can meet me there to pick her up." 

“Yeah, I can do that,” he says, hands twisting nervously in the strap of his own bag, and Eddie leans over, nudges Steve with his elbow. “You’re gonna do great, Stevie. You’ll have to tell me all about it when you pick up Rosie.”

Steve seems to appreciate the encouragement, gives Eddie a soft “Sure thing,” as they walk into the school together, and the younger waves before they split up and head their separate ways. 

Eddie's friends are baffled when they see Rosie, her carrier placed in a spare seat so he can see her easier, and yeah, Eddie gets it. They know that he watches her sometimes, have seen him around with her, but he’s never brought her into their circle before.

Gareth is the first to actually comment on it with a curious "Hey, Eddie? Why do you have Harrington's baby?"

"Because, Gareth, I'm an excellent babysitter, and my services were needed." 

He sends Gareth a blinding smile and the younger rolls his eyes, opens his mouth to say something but is cut off when Andy smacks his hand on the table.

"Listen, Eddie. I know you've got your whole, whatever the fuck, going on with Harrington, but Hellfire is sacred, man! You can’t just bring in a fucking baby because King Steve asked you to!" 

The room goes quiet at the outburst, and Eddie takes a breath, places his hands on the table and leans forward as he levels a look at the guy. "Steve is raising this baby by himself, and when he needed a hand he came to me because he trusts me, and I agreed because he’s my friend. If you have a problem with me helping out a friend, Andy, then you can fucking leave."

There’s a beat as Eddie stares him down, dares him to say something else before Andy looks away, and Eddie nods firmly as he relaxes a bit, satisfied that there won’t be any more objections about Rosie being there. He starts the session soon after, and the interaction slips to the back of his mind as they all focus on the game

Despite Steve's assurances, Rosie wakes up after about an hour, but before Eddie can reach over to shush her, Gareth is on his feet. He pulls her from the carrier and cradles her in his arms, and when Eddie shoots him a look he just shrugs. 

"I haven't been able to do this since Maggie was a baby, let me have this, man." 

Right, Eddie forgot about the fucking eleven year gap between Gareth and his little sister. The guy probably has more baby experience than Eddie and Steve combined, and that's the only reason Eddie allows it to happen, not because Gareth looks so quietly happy to be holding a baby again. He almost says something when Matt takes her a little while later, but Gareth shows him how to hold her, how to make sure she's comfortable, and Eddie settles down, keeping an eye out while still running the game.

Over the next hour, Rosie gets passed around the table. When someone's arms get tired, she goes on to the next person, although Chris pointedly passes over Andy and hands her directly to Jeff. Eddie smirks at the slight disappointment on Andy's face, and the smug delight on Jeff’s as he cradles the sleeping baby close, shushes her gently when she lets out a weak cry.

The whole scene makes Eddie proud, proud that his boys aren’t afraid to show this level of care for a child they don’t even know, that belongs to someone they have a history of disliking. 

They're completely engrossed in the game when there's a knock on the door, and Eddie looks up to see Steve entering the room. He looks around and frowns, and Eddie feels a rush of - panic? resolve? - when he glances over to see Jeff still holding Rosie.

Steve makes his way over to Eddie, and the older braces himself for a rude comment, prepares to defend his flock, to the point that he’s surprised when instead, Steve says "You could have told me you already had plans for tonight, Eddie. I would have found someone else." 

The weight in Eddie's stomach lifts a little, and he scoffs as he steps over to take Rosie from his friend. “It’s fine, Steve. She’s been silent as a mouse, a perfect angel, honestly.” Steve hums skeptically, watches as Eddie straps Rosie back into her carrier before handing it and the bag over. 

Eddie motions to the door, follows Steve out and closes it behind them as he says "Listen, Steve, I'm sorry. I should have asked before I let anyone else hold her, but Gareth started it and he knows a lot about babies because of his sister, and then Matt took her from him before I could and-" 

He cuts himself off when he sees the amused smile on Steve's face, and he gives a confused "What?" 

Steve shakes his head. "I don't mind if your friends hold her, Eddie. She's pretty used to being held, and they seemed to be careful with her."

"You don't mind if everyone holds her?" Eddie asks, trying to be subtle, and Steve, beautiful, smart Steve, just smiles wider. 

"You know, when I got my face beat in by Billy Hargrove last year, it's because he was being a racist asshole towards one of my kids. I wasn't gonna stand for it, so I put myself between him and Lucas. He broke a plate over my head for it." He settles the diaper bag higher on his shoulder and takes a step back. "Your friends seem nice, Eddie. Maybe you can introduce me next time?"

Steve seems to be making a habit of surprising him, and Eddie can't stop the smile that spreads across his face as he nods. "Sure thing, Stevie. Get home safe, yeah?" 

"Will do. Night, Eddie," he says before walking off, and Eddie is alone in the hall when he responds with a soft "Night, sweetheart."

Tag list:

@luciana-rowan @bidisastersworld @little-gae-shit @thehumblefigtree @lifeisnotsobadonceyoustopcarin @estrellami-1 @shrimply-a-menace @anaibis @livelaughlexa @vampireinthesun @zerokrox-blog @mackdaddyofheimlichcountyy @idea-less-author @thegingerrapunzel @fantasyfr3ak @stevesbipanic @electrick-marionnett @tuesdaycats @seths-rogens @flustratedcas @qomrades @artiststarme @death-the-elf @stardustonpages @trensu @otaku-bell-livemotto @thev01dd @demolvr

If you asked to be tagged and you're not in this list, it means I tried to tag you and your name didn't come up! Feel free to ask again, and I'll try again on the next part.

[speedycherryblossomwitch]

My Broppy Head Cannons!!!

1. Espresso by Sabrina Carpenter is a Broppy Song from Poppy's perspective on how in love Branch is for her and she is flattered by him.

2. Poppy really wants to get married to Branch and start a family with him but she feels every since they started dating everyone has been pressuring her. She decided that she doesn't want to give in to what they want her to do. (It's giving But Daddy I Love Him Vibes)

3. Viva is secretly jealous of her and Branch's relationship due to the fact that he knows everything about Poppy and is very happy with him. But she keeps quiet and supports them.

4. Poppy's a top and Branch is a bottom but they like to switch.

5. Ttbgo/TrollsTopia Poppy and Branch were totally a situationship.

6. Their first time happened because Poppy wore his oversized sweater and one thing lead to another for them. She wanted to wait until marriage he wanted her any day.

7. Whenever Poppy's jealous she stays by his side the entire time. Whenever Branch is jealous he takes her somewhere private just to mark her body up with hickeys.

8. Poppy purposely wears short dresses only for Branch to see and take off.

9. Remember that one time the that they had a war for a pillow? The moment another pillow choses them both they immediately go home and devour each other in the bedroom and not come out for hours.

10. They totally get engaged on Christmas.

11. Brozone tried to give Branch flirting advice once. Branch tried to flirt with her she told him that he sounded desperate.

12. Poppy is most likely to call someone out, politely insult someone, and get what she wants but Viva is more of a doormat with little confidence.

13. Poppy and Branch love baking together.

14. Poppy's love language is physical touch but she hates being touched due to how good being touched by Branch feels. Her other love language is quality time. Branch's love language is Acts of service.

15. Viva accidentally walked In on them several times without them noticing. She could never look at her sister the same way. They've done it on her bed and she assumed that she sweats in her sleep.

16. There was a small rumor that Poppy was carrying Branch's egg and Floyd believed it happily telling his brothers as they waited for Poppy and Branch to tell them the news. Poppy played along with it for a while until she publicly announced that she wasn't making Floyd feel embarrassed. Branch was confused while Poppy thought it was funny.

17. Poppy and Branch are that couple who arrive late because they're busy making out. They also do that in public.

18. They get engaged on Christmas but he doesn't have a ring. They just take one look at each other and decide that now was the time because it felt right.

19. King Peppy was annoyed at first whenever Poppy brought Branch everywhere with them but he loves how happy he makes her.

20. Poppy and Branch slow down every morning or night whenever they get the chance.

21. They move in together but not in Poppy's pod or Branch's bunker. They wanted their own place to call home and start a family.

22. Viva once tried to give Poppy the talk but she wasn't a virgin. Viva was disappointed that she didn't wait until marriage.

And that's all I have!! Broppy Week starts in two days so be prepared!!!!

[yujo-nishimura]

Whispers of the Desert Kingdom - Part 7

Warning: Sir Crocodile x fem reader, English is not my native language, not proof-read, age gap - forced marriage, angst and manipulation

This is a very short chapter and nothing really happens here, consider it as a filler to keep the story going. ;)

Taglist: @mcgeemouse , @fan-g0rl , @vexladin

words: 788

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9

As you woke up from your sleep, you found yourself alone in the room. The couch under the window appeared untouched, as if the events of the previous night had been nothing more than a fleeting dream. The pillows were neatly arranged, restoring a sense of normalcy. It dawned on you that you had fallen asleep still clad in your wedding dress, make up stains left on your pillow. 

A knock at the door interrupted your thoughts, and the voices of two female servants asked if they could assist you with a shower or breakfast. Still groggy from sleep, you yelled in response, "I don't need anyone today. Dismiss all services!" Slowly, you freed yourself from the sheets and discarded your dress onto the bed, shedding it like an unwanted shell.

Naked, you made your way into the bathroom. The embrace of the hot water in the marble bathtub brought a fleeting sense of relief, soothing your weary soul. As the warmth enveloped you, a glimmer of hope flickered within.

You came to realize that Crocodile had his own agenda for the kingdom, and being a part of the royal family could not change his plans. In the face of this realization, you saw only two choices before you: to confront him with force or to try and win his love, rendering him unable to harm you and those you held dear. A giggle escaped your lips as you entertained the second option, blushing at the thought. Deep down, you longed for Crocodile to fall for you, even though you acknowledged the naivety and childishness of such a wish. Maybe you were naive, but you had been brought into this situation by your father and now it was on you to change things for the better. 

After what felt like an eternity in the bathroom, you got out of the bath, dressed and got ready to face the day. Without a second thought, you tossed the wedding dress into your closet, dismissing it from your mind. Your gaze fell upon the dark stains of dried blood on the sheets, serving as a reminder of the previous night's encounter and the need to tend to your wound.

Opting for a long-sleeved dress today you called for the servants, requesting fresh sheets and breakfast to be brought to your room. The two girls arrived promptly, their diligent expressions revealing their eagerness to fulfill your requests. They swiftly removed the soiled bedding, replacing it with clean linen, while presenting you with a tray of coffee and bread to start your day.

Having finished breakfast, you made the decision to leave your room, determined to seek out either your father or Crocodile. Uncertain of whom to face with your newfound resolve first, you navigated the palace's silent halls. Many of the servants had been granted a well-deserved day off after the busy weeks of preparation.

As you wandered through the corridors, unable to locate either your father or Crocodile, you found yourself stepping into the tranquil courtyard. There, you spotted Pell engaged in conversation with Chaka. These two warriors, who had been a constant presence since your childhood, always provided a sense of reassurance. 

You felt a flicker of uncertainty as to whether Pell was the right person to share your inner turmoil with. However, deep down, you knew that Pell understood you better than anyone else in the palace, and he would inevitably sense if you were distressed by your newfound role as Crocodile's wife.

Opting to maintain the facade that everyone expected from you, you greeted the warriors of the palace with a warm smile. Suppressing the lingering unease within, you inquired about the whereabouts of your husband, realizing how challenging it still was for you to utter that word.

"Crocodile left the palace this morning to tend to his affairs at the casino. Do you already miss him, Princess?" Chaka's smile carried a gentle warmth as he spoke.

"What a fortunate man Crocodile is. Not only is he wealthy, but he also possesses your love!" Pell chimed in, his sincerity shining through. 

Feeling a surge of determination, you quickly replied, "Then I shall go and meet him!" 

"But, Princess, members of the royal family are not permitted in the casino among commoners," Chaka cautioned.

"I believe it's time to reconsider that rule, considering the casino's owner is now a member of the royal family," you chuckled, leaving the two warriors in the courtyard. Making your way back to the palace, your steps guided you toward the town. It was crucial to expedite your plan of making Crocodile fall in love with you. The sooner you could execute your strategy, the better equipped you would be to safeguard the kingdom.

[welcometololaland]

I know you're off line right now, so ignore this for as long as you want (or forever) - but you sent me such a lovely nice ask week ask, so I want to come into your inbox and ask one too.

I know you live in Australia, but you've traveled a lot in Europe - so my question is, what do you do on the flights? How do you keep yourself entertained and not twisted into a pretzel shape by the end of it?

hi lim! thank you for this 💜 what an interesting question! honestly, i'd love to know other people's theories on long-distance plane travel, because i feel like i'm no master.

that being said, melbourne to anywhere in europe requires a solid 12.5 hour flight and then usually another 6-8 hour one one on top of that, so i do have SOME travel tips. i think these are my best ones, but i'd be SO KEEN to hear others :)

if you're flying through any major airport (abu dhabi, dubai, singapore, doha, etc.) remember that they will make you do security again just before you go to your gate. this means it is imperative you do not fill up your water bottle in the airport unless you have time to drink it! i've been forced to down so many litres of water just to get my bottle on the plane (for some reason they never have taps near the gates?!).

sleep is your friend. personally, i don't bother with timezones, i just try and get as much of it as i can. i know this is controversial, as some people like to time their sleeping with their destination, but honestly i think sleeping on planes is patchy as it is so you may as well sleep when you're tired. there's an art to this too - i order an alcoholic drink with the first meal service (usually just after take-off), and use it to make me a little drowsy. during the post-meal coffee service, i forego any tea, coffee or sodas and have a cup of plain hot water. that usually lets me go to sleep as soon as the cabin lights go off. bring a sweater so you're warm enough, wear comfy clothes and warm socks and don't be afraid to ask for extra blankets if you need them - sometimes planes can be SUPER cold. also, use the free mask/earplugs they give you if you can (the earplugs do some weird sensory shit to me so i can't handle those, but the mask is usually great).

if you have any dietaries whatsoever, don't forget to order specific meals. this means you never miss out, even if you are asleep when the trolley comes around. you can always request it later. one time i forgot to put in meal requests on a 12.5 hour flight it was torture. i had to survive on apples.

always bring a charged laptop (preferably with a lot of fic or netflix shows pre-downloaded) and headphones. you can never guarantee what movies they're gonna have and honestly i find my own entertainment more worthwhile. books are a little dicey because if you're flying at night and they turn the cabin lights off, you don't wanna be that asshole turning the overhead light on while the person next to you is trying to sleep.

if you know your bladder sucks, PLEASE choose the aisle seat (that is me - aisle always).

if you're travelling with one other person and you're on an A380 or similar, there's usually an option to pick a seat right down the back of the plane with rows of 2 rather than 3. this changed my life when i discovered it. as long as you have the patience to wait 2223847 years to de-plane, it can be so handy because you never have a random between you and you can a) get better sleep and b) go to the bathroom whenever you want.

ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS carry baby wipes. You'll need them for your hands, when you spill something on yourself or (on the 12.5 hour flight) your underarms lol. Also, please for the love of god wear shoes in the bathroom.

during stopovers, try to find the most random bathroom available (good idea to go for a walk if you have the time), set up shop, and do a cleanse. brush your teeth, brush your hair, wash your face, apply some lip balm (plane environments are super drying, especially for that long). i always carry a small toiletries bag (making sure you're not carrying liquids over 100ml) in my carry on. it makes you feel SO much better. you can also do this when you get to your destination, just before you leave the airport (before/after baggage collection).

bring a phone cable. sounds stupid but the amount of times i have forgotten one...

travel as light as possible with carry on. my personal favourite is to have a backpack with my charger, laptop, a sweater/jumper and small toiletries bag, and then i also carry a fanny pack-type bag that can be shoved into the top of my backpack. the separate small bag is super handy walking around airports though because you can have your wallet, phone, boarding pass and passport on you at all times and really easily accessible. this hack will also save you SO MUCH TIME at security check. if you travel light, you'll find it so easy separating out your laptop and liquids at any check in.

[dandelionsresilience]

I’m not sure how reliably I’ll be able to keep up with it, but I’ve been wanting to start posting weekly or monthly Good News compilations, with a focus on ecology but also some health and human rights type stuff. I’ll try to keep the sources recent (like from within the last week or month, whichever it happens to be), but sometimes original dates are hard to find. Also, all credit for images and written material can be found at the source linked; I don’t claim credit for anything but curating.

Anyway, here’s some good news from the first week of March!

1. Mexican Wolf Population Grows for Eighth Consecutive Year

““In total, 99 pups carefully selected for their genetic value have been placed in 40 wild dens since 2016, and some of these fosters have produced litters of their own. While recovery is in the future, examining the last decade of data certainly provides optimism that recovery will be achieved.””

2. “Remarkable achievement:” Victoria solar farm reaches full power ahead of schedule

“The 130MW Glenrowan solar farm in Victoria has knocked out another milestone, reaching full power and completing final grid connection testing just months after achieving first generation in late November.”

3. UTEP scientists capture first known photographs of tropical bird long thought lost

“The yellow-crested helmetshrike is a rare bird species endemic to Africa that had been listed as “lost” by the American Bird Conservancy when it hadn’t been seen in nearly two decades. Until now.”

4. France Protects Abortion as a 'Guaranteed Freedom' in Constitution

“[A]t a special congress in Versailles, France’s parliament voted by an overwhelming majority to add the freedom to have an abortion to the country’s constitution. Though abortion has been legal in France since 1975, the historic move aims to establish a safeguard in the face of global attacks on abortion access and sexual and reproductive health rights.”

5. [Fish & Wildlife] Service Approves Conservation Agreement for Six Aquatic Species in the Trinity River Basin

“Besides conserving the six species in the CCAA, activities implemented in this agreement will also improve the water quality and natural flows of rivers for the benefit of rural and urban communities dependent on these water sources.”

6. Reforestation offset the effects of global warming in the southeastern United States

“In America’s southeast, except for most of Florida and Virginia, “temperatures have flatlined, or even cooled,” due to reforestation, even as most of the world has grown warmer, reports The Guardian.”

7. Places across the U.S. are testing no-strings cash as part of the social safety net

“Cash aid without conditions was considered a radical idea before the pandemic. But early results from a program in Stockton, Calif., showed promise. Then interest exploded after it became clear how much COVID stimulus checks and emergency rental payments had helped people. The U.S. Census Bureau found that an expanded child tax credit cut child poverty in half.”

8. The Road to Recovery for the Florida Golden Aster: Why We Should Care

“After a five-year review conducted in 2009 recommended reclassifying the species to threatened, the Florida golden aster was proposed for removal from the Federal List of Endangered and Threatened Plants due to recovery in June 2021, indicating the threats to the species had been reduced or eliminated.”

9. A smart molecule beats the mutation behind most pancreatic cancer

“Researchers have designed a candidate drug that could help make pancreatic cancer, which is almost always fatal, a treatable, perhaps even curable, condition.”

10. Nurses’ union at Austin’s Ascension Seton Medical Center ratifies historic first contract

“The contract, which NNOC said in a news release was “overwhelmingly” voted through by the union, includes provisions the union believes will improve patient care and retention of nurses.”

This and future editions will also be going up on my new Ko-fi, where you can support my art and get doodled phone wallpapers! EDIT: Actually, I can't find any indication that curating links like this is allowed on Ko-fi, so to play it safe I'll stick to just posting here on Tumblr. BUT, you can still support me over on Ko-fi if you want to see my Good News compilations continue!

[gillianthecat]

I have Not been doing what I should have been doing this week, which is Not Great. BUT. I have been feeling the urge to watch BL again, so I been flittering around streaming services and binging some and dropping others. Here's the list of the 18, in the order I watched them, with brief thoughts on each. My rating (out of 10) are in [blue]. Feel free to ask me to say more about any of them!

Pit Babe (2 eps) [7]

Fun, enjoyed the tropiness of it, intrigued by Jeff/Alan, whatever secrets Charlie and Jeff are keeping, and that drifting competition which was hella sexy. I like my omegaverse fics "non traditional" so i appreciated that the first BL out there was alpha/alpha. I wasn't engaged enough to keep going, but would like eventually to pick it up again. One of the few shows I'm not filtering the tag for, so I'm enjoying other people's reactions and gifs.

My Personal Weatherman (finished) [8]

I wanted to love it more than I did, many aspects were wonderful, but the leads never felt like real characters to me, just seme/uke tropes fulfilling their roles. Actors very pretty though. I have a bunch of notes I may finish and post eventually.

Laws of Attraction (finished) [9]

10% of it was terrible, 10% was completely nonsensical (instagram live-ing your date while on the lam? really??), 10% was mediocre, 50% was good, and 20% was sublime. Film was phenomenal as the complicated lawyer with his thousands of smiles, and I now have a crush on him. I started watching a het lakorn for him afterwards (Lucky Star, free on Viki, very soap opera, he and his costar are great). I loved grandma and the batshit ex. I've already forgotten parts of the plot. Wish it could have been higher heat, the restrictions kinda fucked with Charn and Tinn's chemistry in the second half, after they got together, but Film made it work with his coy blushing maiden routine. And their chemistry pre-dating was fire. Second leads were cute and I do love me a pining bodyguard, but sadly the actors were kinda eh.

I Became the Main Role of a BL (1 ep) [9]

I am very excited about this, doing so many things well, balancing slapstick and humanity, all the little details are great. I like how the "real world" is still tropey and absurd but also noticibku more grounded than the "drama" world. I'm invested in the managers' stories. I have hopes for its sexiness, given how Aoyagi was touching Akufuji's arm in their rehearsal. Love love love Akufuji stanning.

Double Mints (finished) [5]

um. I didn't hate it. I didn't like it exactly, but there were some poignant moments. My first actually dark BL (I know Pornographer is classified as dark, but it didn't feel that way to me). Possibly there's some profundity in it, but it didn't grab me enough that I want to spend the time thinking about it. Also many plot things that didn't make sense to me. Perhaps just translation issues? Unlike the next on my list, this wasn't porn, it was a violent yakuza story. Not actually very explicit given that it's supposed to be high heat, with the significant exception of a rape scene.

The Shortest Distance is Round (Noir) (finished) [5]

I mean this is literally softcore porn with a weird dark plot around it. I think most of the actors are actual porn actors; I know the lead is. I could have thoughts on the story, but I feel like I'd need to know more about Japanese cinema to say anything meaningful. Just saying, the sexual harassment at the beginning is the tamest bit. Also a hilarious misdirect with the dead fish sleep kiss (at least for me who was going in blind). Some of the sex was hilarious (goat boy!) some of it was creepy and rapey, and some was genuinely hot.

Mr. Unlucky Has No Choice But to Kiss (3.5 eps) [7.5]

Fun and fluffy, like the premise, the seme character has charm, but soon lost interest in that level of slapstick and tropiness. May eventually finish.

Love Stage Japan 2018 (half an ep or so) [6]

Liked it more than the Thai version, which I saw a few episodes of. The set up makes more sense. Soon lost interest in that slapstick style. Wouldn't avoid it, but no current urge to return.

Utsukushii Kare 2 (My Beautiful Man 2) (finished) [9]

I love them so much! As the middle section, it didn't work as well on its own as season one (a hothouse masterpiece) or the movie (their blossoming), but it was an important bridge in their journey.

Utsukushii Kare Eternal (My Beautiful Man Eternal) (finished) [10]

So amazing. I wasn't sure that they could make a good ending of this story but they knocked it out of the park. Managed the tricky balancing act of having Hira and Koyoi grow up and learn to have a healthy relationship while still remaining their kinky weird selves. Echoed season one in so many beautiful and meaningful ways. I may eventually write more about it.

Long Time No See (movie) (finished) [7]

I didn't recognize the title so o started it without knowing anything about genre or plot. I wanted to like this much more than I did. Theoretically I am into all the elements. But somehow it didn't work for me. It felt hollow, or rather like the outline of a movie rather than the movie itself. Nothing really felt real to me. Perhaps just my mood, perhaps because I didn't recognize the name and so went in to it completely lost and confused. And the sex scenes all felt a little off, a little fake to me. Like the actors were kinda uncomfortable with it. It was very low budget for its concept, and I think needed to either be full kdrama length (maybe 8 full episodes) of get somehow even artier about it to be an atmospheric film. Which it should have been, and all indicators pointed to it, but somehow wasn't. I think I needed to know the characters better to care about. Which may or may not have required learning more about them; there are characters I've felt deeply that I knew very little about, but somehow not with these two. Also I couldn't get the sister's deal. It felt like she was hinting she knew the assassin secrets? But also not. Anyways, the leads were very pretty. And the shot of them stumbling out of the final fight was moving. I may write more later.

Dom (a Strongberry short) (dnf) [4]

Only 13 minutes long and I couldn't finish it, even with 1.5x speed in parts. Experimental little short about anthropomorphized condom boxes, and there's some sort of human plot about a virgin and his cheating boyfriend that I lost track of. It's not bad, just not what I was in the mood for.

Bake Me Please (like 10 minutes of ep 1) [5.5]

When I was talking about not being into cooking themed shows this is the kind of show I mean. It already had a bunch of tropes that are not for me, particularly random normal people treated like celebrities, and people on tumblr seem frustrated with it so it didn't feel worth pursuing.

Ossan's Love (2018 Japan) (2 of 7 eps) [8]

Seems very well constructed to be exactly what they wanted it to be. My enjoyment of that sort of slapstick and yelling style show depend on my mood, and I lost interest, but want to return eventually because it's a foundational show.

Love Mate (less than 1 ep) [7]

Some appealing elements, but got annoyed at the employee's negging and pushiness. I guess I'm too particular about realism, but in what company would it be acceptable to turn a meeting about their product into a psychoanalytical critique of why your boss can't love. Also I es confused by the bosses dating strategy. He just regularly meets up with men 1 time for awkward meals that he seems to hate and then doesn't even have sex with them? Or were we supposed to infer the sex was just censored out? Not the biggest deals but both together indicated that this show was going to play loose with logic in a way that would irritate me. And the seme was being a pushy ass.

Naked Dining (Zenra Meshi) (finished) [8.5]

Loved it overall, though had flaws. Loveblogged it so many thoughts in the tags.

My Ride (4 out of 10 eps) [7]

See today's liveblogging for my thoughts. I like many aspects, but lost interest after four eps. Didn't catch me up enough to want to binge it. I think I'm in an actor centric mode, and unfortunately none of the actors are that good in it.

Every Moment That I Think of You (finished) [8.5]

Randomly found on Gaga, 2 very short episodes from China 2021. Very appealing leads, censored, high school romance/intense friendship, partially through the pandemic. Fit a year's worth of story into 28 minutes. Surprisingly solid, though made me want to see the full length uncensored version of their love story, same actors. Ending confused me. Subtitles of voiceover implied that was their last night together but didn't say what happened, but nothing and was shown. Perhaps just a bad translation? Very low budget (sound mixing was amateur) but did a lot with what they had. Chaotic adolescent boy camera work and editing style, always moving, which fit story very well. Recommend if ok with censored stories.

[nellyofthevalley]

truths, ch.8

astarion x fem!tav rating: explicit

content: piv sex, fingering, biting/blood drinking, emotionally repressed losers who can't communicate, angst, hurt/comfort, extended sickfic?

summary: this fic started as an excuse to write a bunch of dialogue bouncing around in my head. astarion is a sad little idiot who never learned how to love. tav is kind of emotionally repressed and a bad communicator too, and he has to learn how to deal with this. with her, and her … affliction.

He can’t even remember the last time someone asked him what he wanted. In centuries of service, even the warmest victims were there for nothing more than midnight fun, unknowingly biting off far more than they could chew. It’s better that way, though. It’s always easier when he can’t remember their names or faces after, and he only ever remembered the ones that were sweet.

chapters: ch.1 | ch.2 | ch.3 | ch.4 | ch.5 | ch.6 | ch.7 | ch.8

read it on ao3 or below the cut I totally posted this on ao3 forever ago and forgot to post it here

His mind swims while his fingers mend her clothes, re-stitching torn seams and mending rips he’d been staring at for weeks wanting to fix but refusing to be caught doing it. Astarion ponders over everything he said and did yesterday and how he could’ve done it all better; he thinks if he had another chance, he could’ve said something better than ‘I don’t know’, but it’s a foolish thought—even as he actively tries to convince himself, no other words bubble up and he knows damn well that’s the best he has.

He’s floundering thinking of what he’d say to her, but his mind just keeps fucking swimming and he’s so, so sure that if he’d had one more moment with her, he’d somehow manage to finish sentences cut short or have difficult conversations with her he hadn’t yet learned how to have with himself.

As he watches her body rise and fall with her breaths, it’s all he can think about.

Maybe he should’ve said the truth, he thinks: that he had it beaten into him to never care for another, that he’s bitter with her for saving everyone except him when the Gods never answered any of his prayers, and that he doesn’t know how to dig out of this grave of resentment he’s buried himself in despite how hopelessly charmed by her he is.

Every conversation they ever had starts to feel like it wasn’t enough, going all the way back to the night in the Underdark when he’d given her his coat. Though the truth of it is that he had plenty of time every time, and he chose to squander it.

It hurts to see her like this, with her body battered and bruised and too exhausted to wake…

It’s his own fault, he’s decided. He accepted an offer from Raphael and now she pays the price for it. Oddly, that’s all he ever thought he wanted: for someone to suffer in his stead, but he didn’t mean it like this! Not her. 

Even worse, he pushed her into this—he questioned her when she tried to talk their way out of the fight (if only he’d ever learned how to have trust or faith in anyone) and he felt so off-balance during the fight he picked, allowing his mind to be clouded by a daft eagerness to get the shit over with and reap his reward.

Merregons got the better of her, crowding her and beating her bloody. He shouted when he noticed, calling for Karlach, Lae’zel, Gale, anyone—but they were all surrounded and by the time anyone made it to her, she was already down and out. None of them came out the other side entirely unscathed, but she was the only one who couldn’t carry themselves back to camp.

They remained settled at the Last Light Inn, trapped with nowhere else to go, and he fucking hates it here. Despite their efforts to clean up, every direction held some reminder of what used to be: blood stains they couldn’t get out, strewn about possessions, and an eerie emptiness that forced you to picture how it’d been when it was bustling and happy. Astarion doesn’t grieve for their lives, but he can’t push out the image of how distraught she was that night it all happened; how she wept and begged him to give her purpose will be burned into his brain for eternity.

Already, two full days have passed with her in this bed and Shadowheart and Halsin taking turns caring for her and breathing life back into her body little by little, while Astarion sits in his chair and simply waits.

Raphael came and went, fulfilling his end of the deal promptly. He paid Astarion a visit the same evening the orthon appeared in his humble abode and told him everything he’d asked for: details of Cazador’s deal with Mephistopheles and the tale of how poems carved into their backs bound them to a vile ritual that would sacrifice their souls for a higher power never seen by his kind before.

Ascension. 

Astarion received his reward, but he couldn’t find any satisfaction in it. Not like this—not standing outside the inn alone, and even though only a thin wall sat between him and the room Tav lay unconscious in, he felt halfway across the world from her. Raphael left him there and it all felt like a cruel mockery: the price to be paid for his deal wasn’t even paid by him. He dragged Tav along for this and forced her hand and he never thought twice about it.

Until she couldn’t walk anymore. 

He remembers it so clearly, hauntingly vivid—how he tore apart his foe and ran to her bloodied body, how he held her and shook her and she didn't wake, how he was nothing more than a useless bystander, watching hopelessly while Karlach carried her and Halsin tended to her…

He needs to be by her side, he needs to be in that chair when she wakes, and he hasn’t moved since Raphael left him here. 

He’s deep in trance when she wakes, startled into consciousness by her tugging weakly at the fabric of his shirt; he jumps in his chair and looks over to her, pausing for a moment as he fully comes back to the present and processes it.

“Gods, you’re awake,” he says, relief washing over him as he sits up and starts to stand. “Let me get—”

“No!” she protests in a low mumble, slowly sitting up and leaning against the headboard. “Tell me what happened first.”

Astarion stops in his seat and starts to speak, “You—you were surrounded…”

“Not that,” she scoffs. “The deal!”

“Oh, don’t talk to me in that voice of yours,” he retorts. “You should be mad at me, you should chastise me! I took the devil’s deal all on my own, without even giving you a choice in the matter.”

“You’re wrong,” she says. “Just tell me what Raphael said.”

Astarion hesitates, taken by surprise; even after being bloodied and bruised and bedridden, she insists on hearing about his deal, first thing…

But he tells her everything, powerless to resist her demands.

“What do you think?” he asks. 

“I think it’s time for you to get Shadowheart,” she says with a cheeky smile.

He’s obviously miffed by her dodge but he does it regardless, returning Tav’s grin with an annoyed sigh as he gets up from his seat and fetches Shadowheart.

When he walks out, Tav eyes her clothes by his chair, neatly folded and washed clean.

The door creaks as Shadowheart enters, carrying a tray of food; stew and bread, the standard fare lately. The shadowlands have so little to offer for fresh food, but Tav feels her mouth watering the moment she lays eyes on it, stomach growling, and lights up as Shadowheart takes Astarion’s chair.

“How are you faring?”

“Sore, but well enough for poking the fire,” Tav answers.

“You know,” Shadowheart starts once Tav’s stuffed her mouth, “outside of talking with Raphael, he hasn’t left this room for a moment.”

Tav swallows hard. 

Shadowheart picks up the mended shirt by the chair and turns it in her hands, looking it over. “Skilled with his hands,” she notes with a hearty laugh. 

“Gods, stop it,” Tav chokes out, quickly swallowing the last of her food and laughing, too, and it aches her body but hells, a real laugh is what she needs right now. “I don’t know what’s happening with us.”

“You’re softening his cold heart, and dare I say he needs it.”

“No,” she replies. “His heart’s already soft… in some places, anyway. He just doesn’t know it. Or maybe he doesn’t want to believe it.”

When Shadowheart opens the door and leaves, it’s made very clear to both of them that Astarion was standing right outside, arms crossed and waiting to trade places. He picks her shirt back up when he sits, feeling a bit antsy and in dire need of something to occupy his hands, but he’s already mended every hole; now, he’s started carefully stitching her name in curved script into it, much like he did for his own shirts on long days and nights spent in the Szarr palace.

“So—”

“I think walking in the sun is very important to you.”

“And the power!” Astarion’s face livens instantly as he talks, giddy at the prospect of seizing the Ascension for himself. “I’d never have to fear anyone… and I could walk in the sun without fear of turning into a mind flayer.”

She can relate to that more than he knows. She chased power once too, and it cost her a sibling. The worst part of it all is that she’d do it all over again given the choice. Her patron bestowed her with great, elder powers after living as a street urchin, spit on and ignored by society for so long—and even with an illithid tadpole shoved into her brain, even after being surrounded and taken down in battle, even after questioning it that night in the cemetery, she remembers what it was like before and she wouldn’t give it up for nearly anything. 

Besides, if she hadn’t chased the deal, it would’ve been something else. He would’ve left either way, whether it be the stealing or the pact or the souls she slaughtered in the name of revenge. He’d always been too gentle-hearted, and every time Astarion spits on her for being ‘too generous’, she thinks of how much she always hated her brother for the very same.

But even Raphael called the ritual diabolical, and he’d have to kill his brothers and sisters to do it… the brothers and sisters who endured the same punishments and torture as he had. Astarion pretends to care only for himself, but when he told her he pitied them with him gone, it was beyond evident how much he cares—he just wishes he doesn’t.

Astarion seems to be well-trained in confidently presenting himself as how he wishes he feels. 

Tav would support him in completing the ritual himself in a heartbeat if she wasn’t so certain he does care and that he would regret it later. It would change him, she thinks, and not for the better. 

But now’s not the time to dwell on that. They don’t even know what the ritual entails. Not yet. 

She shifts over to the very edge of the bed and rests her palm on his forearm, prompting him to drop the needle and thread and set her shirt back aside. As he does, she spots the start of her name on it, in lovely gold thread on navy fabric.

“Will you kiss me?” she asks, hopeful to drag him away from dwelling on the ritual now. “It’ll make me feel better.”

“Oh, will it now?” Astarion gives her a half-smile and holds her face in one palm with a gentle—thoughtful—touch. “Then who am I to deny you?”

Tav lightly grasps at his upper arm as he closes his eyes and captures her mouth in his; this time, his kiss is sweet and tender and deliberate, not wary, not heated, not anything but what feels like a true labor of…

…love?

“The other night when you asked me what’s between us,” Astarion starts as they part, eyes fixated on her mouth as he speaks, “What would you like it to be?” 

“What do you want it to be, Astarion?”

“I-I don’t know,” he says, taken aback. “It’s never mattered what I want. No one ’s ever asked.”

He can’t even remember the last time someone asked him what he wanted. In centuries of service, even the warmest victims were there for nothing more than midnight fun, unknowingly biting off far more than they could chew.

It’s better that way, though. It’s always easier when he can’t remember their names or faces after, and he only ever remembered the ones that were sweet.

“I’m asking you now,” she replies.

“It’s complicated.”

“Well, it appears I have plenty of time to sit and listen. So please, go on.”

Astarion brushes off her hand as he folds his arms, turning his gaze away from her and towards the ceiling, and they sit in silence for a moment as he considers what to say. Part of him hopes she’ll say something else and move on, but the rest of him knows that it’s finally time to have this conversation that he’s been neglecting.

Especially after spending the days and nights in this same fucking chair thinking about how he should’ve said it all months ago.

“I wasn’t just a slave to Cazador,” he says with a notable lack of confidence. He shuffles nervously and takes a long pause, inhaling deeply before continuing. “For two centuries, my purpose”—he practically hisses as he begins to recount it—“was to bring back pretty things for the master. Seduce them, lure them to the palace and leave them for Cazador to dine on… It never mattered what I wanted. if I didn’t obey, he’d have me beaten, impaled, or worse.”

His eyes pace around the room, gnawing for anywhere else he can look and digging for what to say. He doesn’t feel like himself, he almost feels sick. It’s too much, but he has to say it all now or he’ll never say it and it’ll loom over his head and the next time she takes so much as a single scrape in battle he’ll be distracted by it all over again.

“It was instinctual for me… to fall back into old habits and charm you, gain your trust, manipulate your feelings and ensure your loyalty. I needed you on my side to fight him, and I did that the only way I—”

“I am on your side. No matter what.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I’ll be as ridiculous as I like.”

“Gods, you’re stubborn. Look,” he continues, “I must’ve gotten on my back ten thousand times or more, and none of them meant anything at all; most didn’t even grant me a temporary bliss. But you…

“It was different with you. I’ll never forget the time I spent with you. I want—fuck, what I want is for this to be something real.”

Manipulating someone, getting them in bed, using them for his own benefit—all things he can do, things he is very well-versed in doing, at that. Losing himself in her was a complication. He is not so well-versed in complications. 

“I do, too,” she says quietly.

“Truth is, you make me feel alive again,” he admits, anxiously wiping his brow. “But I don’t know what real looks like, and I can’t give you what you deserve,” Astarion says, turning to face her; and whatever she may have expected to see, it wasn’t this—this awful, gloomy look he wears, like he’s in pain just thinking about this and admitting to it all. “Even though I know things between us are different, it still brings up all these feelings of hatred and self-loathing…”

“We don’t have to sleep together, for as long as you need. For forever, if thats what you’d prefer,” she says. “You’re important to me—however you are, whatever you’re dealing with.”

A small relief, but Astarion hopes for it to somehow come and fix it all like magic, and it never happens. Relief doesn’t make it any easier to get through this this. Relief doesn’t organize his thoughts or teach him how make someone happy. Without sex, what does he have left to offer? He never did figure that one out.

“I never learned how to care for anyone but myself. Cazador always made sure I knew that,” Astarion rebuts, as if he’s searching for any reason to send her away—get her to set her sights elsewhere, maybe back on Gale…

He can’t help but do it; much as he’d like this to be something real with her, he’s certain it’ll end in nothing but disappointment and he knows that’ll hurt worse than not having her at all.

“Oh, fuck Cazador! It’s not true, you know,” Tav protests. “If it were, you wouldn’t be in this room right now. Gods know I don’t know what the fuck real looks like, either, but it doesn’t matter. We—we can figure it out together, can’t we?”

Astarion’s brows lower and he looks at her in disbelief for a moment; ‘figure it out together’ is… beyond what he could’ve anticipated coming from her mouth.

Oh, she is stubborn, but perhaps that’s what he needs in a partner. Maybe he’s not even ready for this, he doesn’t know, but he does know that he’s in it too deep to back out. Not having her at all is a path impossible to take now, no matter how hard he could keep trying to shove her out.

“We—we can try?” he questions with an indecisive tone, though it’s really more of a surprised agreement. “If that’s truly what you want.”

The freedom to choose your own path is a foreign concept—fuck, is that really what he’s doing? Choosing his own path? He always thought it would feel different from this, that it would be more controlled and comprehensible; like he’d have a plan, some sort of routine to reference for his life, as with how he’d memorized and carried out the plans for his conquests, just… a little different.

“It’s what I want. More than anything,” she says, sniffling. “Fuck, sorry.”

“What’s…” Astarion’s voice trails off as he considers what to say next. Navigating this is beyond any of his expertise, and he almost feels like he did in the early days of Cazador sending him out to find victims when he was still learning how to just—just be fucking normal. It was decades before the master let him out, and after so many years stuck inside and subjected to punishment after punishment, he’d nearly forgotten how to speak. “What’s troubling you?”

“I’m fine. Gods, I’m more than fine,” she says, giggling as she wipes the tears from her cheek. “Will you lay with me? I understand if—”

“Move over,” he orders with a shooing hand gesture. 

His heart would beat out of his chest if it could; there’s something about lying together in a bed in an inn, however decrepit and dreadful to reside in, that’s far more intimate than the nights she slept in his tent. Trepidation pumps through his body like blood.

And then, after he lifts the covers and settles in beside her, it simply dries up. 

Tav starts to reach out for his hand, but stops short of it. “Can I touch you?”

“You don’t have to ask,” he answers, though truthfully, he loves that she does. It’s sweet. It’s unusual. 

“I want to,” she says, prying apart his fingers with hers and interlocking them.

He could live in this moment forever. When she looks at him, there’s a special, heavenly look in her eyes that he never wants to lose. A pity for the lives lived without ever experiencing it. No one would ever look at someone like Cazador the way she’s looking at him now.

It’s hypnotizing and makes him want to give her the fucking world—and ascend, for more than himself, because this is so, so much bigger than him.

[jadedvaevic]

I'm about to be 30. I don't recover from sickness as fast as I used to.

It gets. REALLY fucking old, REALLY fucking quick, when your boss is texting you. Every. Day. Of the week. While you're sick.

Day -2 --- My off day. I realize I have a fever. I'm burning and dizzy. I start to medicate and rest appropriately.

Day -1 --- Office is closed that day every week. Sickness hasn't gone away. Still doing what I can from home.

"Feel better, we need you." - Day 1, after I told him I've got a fever and can't be in. I'm dizzy throughout the day and don't even trust walking, let alone driving. I replied "I'll do my best to get better quickly."

"Btw if you'd like to sleep in and come in later that would be good also" - Day 2, the fever is still here, sore throat, no appetite. I replied "Noted. We'll see how it goes."

Day 3. I'm feeling slightly better. I text him. "I will be in today around noon. Gonna get some more rest." He replies "Glad to hear". I get into work, I last. About two hours. Before the dizziness returns, and now nausea. I leave. He texts "feel better thanks for the effort".

Day 4. Still not ok. I don't even bother texting him. By now he should get the situation. He texts me. "???". So I reply "I'm still too dizzy to be up and about. I'll be in as soon as I can hack it, I promise." "Ok."

Day 5. I text him to tell him my throat is still in fact sore and not good for 8 hours of talking. I'll be in after the weekend. He gives a thumbs up.

Here's my problem. I know he means well. I know he sounds nice. He is.

My problem is that I don't like being hovered over. This job is a very mixed job between physical and customer service. One day of that job while sick will burn you out and keep you sick longer.

I've asked that they hire someone to cover for their other employees' off times. They refuse. They say they're overstaffed.

They have 3 people to handle the majority of operations. Including me. One is an autistic, young kid who gets overwhelmed very easily, only works 6 hour shifts and doesn't work middle of the week. One is a guy here only for this year, on a work visa, pulling 12-17 hour shifts depending on the day. The other is me, a woman trying to keep a work-life balance with two jobs, a lot of complications and a lot of insanity in my household.

They. Refuse. To hire one more person. Even though they HAD another person before, who was fired because he was stealing from the company.

What the fuck. This weirdly invasive and uncompromising bullshit. Is pressuring me beyond my limit. And I'm really trying not to quit. I really am.

But after that 4th guy called me drunk at 9 pm and I reported it to my boss only for nothing to come of it? And this shit.

... And a few other horror stories swept just as easily under the rug.

..... I'm really fucking struggling.

[404fearnotfound]

Talking about 2Ds eyes

I’ve seen a lot of people with different theories on why 2Ds eyes change from black to white in different phases and stuff and there was one that really stuck out to me, so I’m gonna add my two cents. I wanna preface this by saying while it makes somewhat sense that 2D could be possessed, I dislike that that theory and I’ll elaborate later on why.

Gonna split this into sections as well so it’s easier to read, it’ll probably end up rantish anyways.

TW: Mentions of abuse, addiction, eye injury and most cannon typical Gorillaz stuff

(This is not a 2Doc post, I heavily dislike that ship and none of my Gorillaz posts will be about shipping)

Why are 2Ds eyes black anyways?

If you are into the Gorillaz lore at all you’ll probably know the backstory to this. 2Ds black eyes are from 8-ball fractures (also known as a level 4 hyphema), which can be caused by a number of things but most namely blunt force trauma to your eye or head. Before the band was officially formed, Murdoc planned to rob an instrument store by driving through the window, stealing as many keyboards as he could and driving away. In the process of driving through the window he hit 2D, fracturing his first eye and sending him into a catatonic state. His punishment was many community service hours and to take care of 2D, which he abused by “bullying him within an inch of his catatonic life”. While trying to impress some ladies he did donuts in a lot, and while going 90 2D flew out of the window and hit his other eye on the curb, fracturing it too. Somehow this also caused him to come out of his catatonic state, and when he stood up Murdoc knew he had to be the frontman, a tall, black eyed, blue haired man. He also gave 2D (formerly Stuart pot) the name 2D for the two dents in his head.

Now we’re getting to the theories part. I’ve done some looking into hyphemas myself since I didn’t want to take all my sources from YouTube comments and tumblr posts. Most times hyphemas clear up in a week or so, around 5 to 6 days or so. Theoretically speaking 2Ds eyes should have gone back to normal relatively quickly, but we see his eyes stay consistently black for all of phase 1 and phase 2. This could easily be explained by cartoon and storytelling logic, that they just have conveniently stayed black for the sake of the character. (Cartoon logic will probably be my biggest downfall in this argument anyways, since I’m gonna use it to explain one or two things I don’t have solid proof for.) I’ll come back to this later however.

Murdoc most likely consistantly hit 2D to keep up the appearance.

We all know Murdoc is a piece of shit! We’ve seen/heard Murdoc hit 2D multiple times before (MTV cribs, iTunes interview, dressing room, etc), so I don’t think it’s out of the question at all. I’ve seen a few people say that hyphemas can come back easily if your hit in the head (once you’ve already have one), and while that might be true I haven’t been able to find anything on it (please send me a source if anyone has one). Due to this I’m gonna come from a slightly different approach. Hyphemas are commonly caused by sports, whether it be being hit in the eye region with a ball (or a fist) or falling hard on your face. Interestingly people can also be more prone to hyphemas if they are taking any medication or drug that acts as a blood thinner. Hyphemas can also be caused by taking blood thinners. It’s also known that through at least phase 1 and 2, 2D is addicted to painkillers (which do have blood thinning properties most of the time). Putting all these pieces together 2Ds consistent 8-ball fractures could be caused by a combination of abuse and addiction.

Phase 3

Phase 3 is the first time we see some artwork of 2D with white eyes, though his eyes are mainly black.

Quick break for 2Ds plastic beach lore, feel free to skip if you know plastic beach lore.

Plastic Beach is a big lump of plastic and garbage that formed an island in the ocean at Point Nemo (the farthest point from any landmass). Upon finding it Murdoc spray painted it pink and put the Gorillaz hq there after Kong studios was destroyed. He needed his singer though, and through collaborating with the boogieman, gassed 2D and sent him in a suitcase to plastic beach. He was kept in a room under the island, guarded by a whale (one of his biggest fears) and basically forced to sing and compose for the album. During this time he was also made to go cold turkey from his painkiller addiction.

Okay cool that’s covered. Moving on.

Phase 3 literally kills me and I’ve been spinning it around in my brain for like a week now, it’s horribly sad if your a 2D fan.. which also backs up my theories here so I’m just a mess atm. It would make some sense for 2Ds eyes to be white occasionally in phase 3, as he was locked in a room and left alone for a good bit. At other times though he was definitely still being abused. (See the iTunes interveiw). His eyes are also black during the dressing room video, when they were on tour and Murdoc needed to need up the “image” of the band and 2D.

There’s not much to talk about with phase 4, so it’s time to move onto what everyone’s been waiting forrrrrrrrrrr

Phase 5- namely the humility video !

Fucking love the humility video omfg. It’s such a banger song and 2D skating around and being happy gives me so much joy.

Murdoc is in jail and we get to celebrate!!! Wahoo! 2D is clean, and gets a break from Murdoc and here is when we get to consistently see his design with white eyes. I’ve seen a lot of theories that he was possessed (ie Russell being possessed and having white eyes), but considering his entire eye was black (which is not how hyphemas work, they only effect the iris) it would make sense his normal eye color is his entire eye. (I’ve also heard that Hewit hates drawing eyes so like slight cartoon logic here). I also think 2D being possessed would have come out of nowhere, it seems odd that the tripe would be repeated when that’s already Russels thing. His eyes are also white consistently through phase 6 and 7, and I don’t think he would be possessed for that long.

I’ve also seen that 2D can change his eye color when he feels strong emotions, and I’d take that over the possession one. It makes sense from an emotion side, but I think it also erases the bit of his hyphemas and the original cause of his black eyes. (Just wanted to cover this).

In the humility video he’s happy and he’s skating around having a great time, he’s skating well so it’s implied his vision is better (as hyphemas can cause impaired vision) and that his eyes are healed. At the end he’s tripped by Russel, falls on his face multiple times and when he stands up his eyes blink back to black. Boom. Mic drop. (/j)

Once Murdoc gets back from jail and such it seems he had a bit of a change of heart, you can see from how he interacts with the group and he also has some other goals (cough phase 7 cults). We see the dynamic change a bit between the two of them (exclusion being the Aries incident) especially in the lost chord where 2D saved Murdoc.

I could go more into phase 5 and even phase 6, but that might be another post.

I think this theory adds more to the lore and stays more consistent than the possession theory- especially with 2Ds 8-ball fractures being slightly more realistic. I think it also fits a bit more with Murdocs character. The only plot hole here and in general would be 2D should theoretically be blind by now but cartoon logic 🤷. It’s a sad theory but it fits with what we know is cannon regardless, and some of the best stories are even a bit sad.

If you took the time to read this, thanks, really! I’d love to hear other theories if people have them, maybe I’ll come around to the possession theory eventually. Sorry if this was kinda rantish or doesn’t full make sense as well, I wrote this on a road trip. Byeeee!!

[lgcmanager]

LGC STYLE ( SPRING 2024 )

SCHEDULE TYPE: VARIABLE

LGC STYLE is back and here are our participants to kick off the show's comeback:

AHN JAEHWA

HAN HYUNHEE

KIM JINSEO

KIM JINYOUNG

LEE JIHO

LIM SANGHYUN

MIN SOYOUN

MOON HAYOUNG

MOON JIAH

SEO YURA

SON NABI

this season, the contestants will be grouped up and style a person’s outfit sets for a week ! first however, each contestants have to SHOW OFF some of their favorite items in their wardrobe and showcase their personal style ! after this they will get to meet their partner(s) and receive of profile of their assigned individual.

AHN JAEHWA, MIN SOYOUN and SEO YURA: female, early 30s, office worker, her life is mostly centered around her work, she likes to exercise and is currently single. her date will be her first meeting with someone met on a dating application. since she works a lot, her wardrobe mostly consists of comfortable but classic clothes with few colors outside of white, beige, gray and light blue.

HAN HYUNHEE and MOON HAYOUNG: female, mid 20s, stay at home mom of a toddler. for the past three years, her life has mostly been centered around her child. she mostly wears comfortable and casual clothes for convinience and has a good array of jeans. she loves wearing simple t-shirts with pastel colors primarly. since her child is growing up, she wants to find more time to care for herself and her appearance

KIM JINSEO and LIM SANGHYUN: male, mid 20s, newly integrated the work force in marketing. he has an active lifestyle and been dating steadily for 2 years now. he often meets with friends to play sports. he likes to buy the latest trending outfits though he wouldn't be considered a fashion icon.

KIM JINYOUNG and LEE JIHO: male, early 20s, about to begin university after finishing his military service. since bulking up in the army, he currently has only basic clothes that fits him. he doesn't really follow trends, but would like to have a more trendy look. he has a blind date set up by his parents.

MOON JIAH and SON NABI: female, late 10s, last year of high school. she's a shy girl who likes to draw and paint and plans on going in arts design. though her wardrobe is quite simple, she has a lot of unique and colorful items and accessories in it. however, she's the type to put on whatever without caring about the end result and would like to have a more cohesive yet unique style. she's being dragged by two friends to a group blind date.

each group will have to come up with a FORMAL outfit for an official event, a SOCIAL outfit for a event with friends, a CASUAL outfit for a regular day, a DATE outfit. most items will have to come out of the person's own wardrobe, but contestants will get to buy ONE new clothing item for each outfit. an outfit includes the clothes, shoes and accessories.

 at the end of the week, the person will choose if they LIKED or PASSED on the oufit chosen. teams with more LIKES than PASS will received a SPECIAL REWARD and CASH PRIZE.

** ooc note; the number of like/pass will be based on requirement completion + randomized generator **

REQUIREMENTS

STYLING: write one thread with your partner(s) while the cameras are rolling. the thread can be anything related to picking the outfits; from brainstorming, to studying the outfits they already have, to shopping, to even arguing about their own ideas ! for every four (4) replies (two posts per muns*, 8 lines minimum) you’ll receive +2 VARIETY, +2 MODELING, +2 NOTORIETY for up to +6 VARIETY, +6 VARIETY, 6 NOTORIETY !

MY STYLE : write a 300+ word solo of your muse showing off their favorite item and personal style for +5 SKILLS TO DISTRIBUTE ANYWHERE, +2 NOTORIETY !

* for the group of 3, keep the count of every 4 replies too, which will equal to one reply for 2 people and 2 replies for one person per set. if the maximum is reached, each muse should have 4 replies on the thread.

make sure to use the hashtag lgc:lgcstyle on your threads and solos !  to validate your skill points and collect your notoriety points, please submit the following form ONCE on the points blog before JULY 6, 2024 11:59 EDT.

TITLE: MUSE NAME ∙  LGC STYLE 002 - STYLING +2/4/6 variety, +2/4/6 modeling, +2/4/6 notoriety [ LINK ] - MY STYLE: 5 skills points distribution, +2 notoriety [ LINK ]

[klaineccfanficlibrary]

Hello! I think the Bingo card is a fun idea! Here is my submission (and I’d like it to stay anonymous).

Bingo

1. Debut: Is There a 12 Step Just for You? By Thenameisbritney

2. Page Turner: Hummel’s Home for Non-Conforming Adolescents by Beautifulunseen

3. Need Tissues: Everything is Nothing with a Twist by BeautifulUnseen

4. Unusual Occupation: Somewhere Close to Nowhere by orphanaccount

5. Wildcard: Puppy Eyes by Lilyvandersteen

6. Summer Story: Timeless by Cinnamont

7. Written for a Challenge: Unexpected by klaineanummel

8. Made you laugh out loud: Failed Achievement by klaineanummel

9. Genre Don’t Normally Read: Crush Into Me by gleekto

We're still accepting the Klaine bingo cards? Got anymore?

FInd them here. Details on our tumblr page:.

Debut: Is There a Twelve Step Just For You? by

“He was still the same short, nerdy Blaine Anderson he’d always been. An easy target for school bullies everywhere. Kurt was the popular co-captain of the Cheerio’s, looking down on his kingdom like a fair but firm ruler. No one was on his level, certainly not a peasant like Blaine.”

Or Blaine tries to tell Kurt that he has a crush on him but accidentally ends up asking for a makeover instead. Oh, dear.

2: Page Turner: Hummel’s Home for Non-Conforming Adolescents by Beautifulunseen

Blaine Anderson had learned from the time he was marked as Non-Conforming that his life would never go according to plan. Still, the last thing he expected was Hummel’s Home and its head boy Kurt, who had, against all odds, escaped the same fate. Dystopian AU.

3. Need Tissues: Everything is Nothing with a Twist by BeautifulUnseen

The cuff on Kurt's wrist covers up a tiny number he was born with — just like everyone else he knows — a number that tells at what age he will die. Because of his number, Kurt keeps his heart locked away. But then Blaine enters his life. Does he hold the key to that lock?

4. Unusual Occupation: Somewhere Close to Nowhere by orphanaccount

Clairvoyance, or being “psychic” has been a blessing and a curse rolled into one for Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson. With Blaine accompanying Kurt on a case that sounds like all things paranormal, (despite his objections) will they be able to put aside their differences and discover who is behind the haunting of Ashland Ranch?

5. Wildcard: Puppy Eyes by Lilyvandersteen

Blaine teaches graphic and digital design at Parsons, and is under a curse that turns him into a dog for a week, every once in a while. He lives with Trent, who's been looking after him in his dog phases for years. Now, though, Trent has met someone and is very happy and going on dates all the time, and the next time Blaine turns into a dog, Trent doesn't look after him but just shrugs and contacts a dog walker service.

And you can guess who is sent to look after Blaine...

6. Summer Story: Timeless by Cinnamont

Despondent from constant bullying at school, Kurt goes on a summer vacation to Scotland and is whisked through time to find a love that is timeless.

7. Written for a Challenge: Unexpected by klaineanummel

Blaine Anderson was just about the last thing Professor Kurt Hummel expected out of a TA.

8 Made you laugh out loud: Failed Achievement by klaineanummel

Sam knew Blaine wasn't capable of having a bromance.

9. Genre Don’t Normally Read: Crush Into Me by gleekto

Third year NYADA student, Kurt, returns to Lima for an internship coaching the Glee club. The leather jacket and eyebrow ring-clad senior, Blaine, thinks he’s cute

Thank you Anon for this one. ~Jen

[carrickbender]

Sunday 7

1. Today was great- I did my best to show up for H(whose body is trying to kill her) and Henry, who is just being his sweet self, but when I can't show up for myself it makes show up for them a herculean task. I thought maybe if I talked to a therapist I might pick up a few strategies for dealing with negative self talk, but nope. So back to square one...

2. I'm listening to "the gifts of imperfection", and while I appreciate Brene Brown so much, and I can understand what she is saying about vulnerability, but a big part of me still says, "what if those voices are right?". That part of me knows that nothing is ever going to be enough, and that to believe otherwise is stupid and unrealistic. If you found a way to live with these feelings, please let me know, because I'm striking out.

3. I've been procrastinating about taking a civil service exam, as was requested, and I have to take it tonight as soon as buggy is in his bed. I have to be in Oly at 8 am for a physical for a p.t. job, then a signing at 4 pm in East County, then run back so H and her friend K can go to a knitters group.

4. Wednesday I have another endoscopy, and I hope we can figure something out. I'm tired of being miserable after eating even the smallest amount of foods. I've eliminated foods, I've added others, I've changed already smaller quantities... nothing helps. Fun, right?

5. My mom is taking me up, as it's required to have someone take you there and back, but I'm regretting my choice. It's honestly nothing new: I'm tired of only hearing from her whenever she needs something, and when she feels guilty about it, she works herself doing something way too fucking hard like she did today and when we do try to include her in our lives(like we did today), she tries to make me feel guilty for not helping. She says things like, "well I didn't want to bother you"- well that never stopped her before but here we are!!!!! And she wonders why we don't ask her for help...

6. And Friday is the dentist, with a temporary dental appliance that I need just so I don't look awful for interviews. I'm already going into most interviews at a disadvantage from the start, so I need to try to at least reach the bottom bar. Which needs to happen soon, because yeah, I'm not made of money.

7. Anyhow, this has just been a rant and screaming into the void. I'm sorry to be a broken record, but I feel like I'm scrambling against everything just to keep my head above water. If you have any extra energy and good vibes, send them please- i really need them this week. Thank you all for letting a bit of light in, and thank you for being amazing. You are loved and appreciated more than you know.

[prosopopeya]

2023 meme!

it's time

1. What did you do in 2023 that you’d never done before?

went to ireland.

got married again to the same person in ireland. (we finally had our originally planned ireland elopement.)

went to physical therapy

went to the gym and lifted weights (unrelated to the physical therapy)

took my husband to the er

saw death cab for cutie and postal service in concert!!

2. Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions and will you make more for next year? i don't like to make those so probably not. and also no.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? no

4. Did anyone close to you die? jon's aunt passed away, which was very sad and sudden. jimmy buffett also died. not close to me but a significant loss.

5. What countries did you visit? ireland! not a country but we visited my aunt and uncle in maryland and had a great time!

6. What would you like to have in 2024 that you lacked in 2023? i would like to get a new job that pays more with better benefits. but we'll see.

7. What date from 2023 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? same date as last year's meme, which is june 9. now it is the date where we got married in ireland. :)

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? working on healing my shoulder pain was pretty significant. also getting 69 bookmarks on a porn-centric fic of mine that's close to my heart. luckily i managed to catch it before it tipped over to 70.

9. What was your biggest failure? quitting going to the gym. i did genuinely enjoy it, but then i got that pinched nerve in my shoulder and the pain was pretty bad. i need to start it up again.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? yes, the pinched nerve in my shoulder. in ireland, i pinched my sciatic nerve and also nearly passed out from heat at the top of blarney castle. had a bad sinus infection when we came back and couldn't hear out of my ears very well for like a week.

11. What was the best thing you bought? the dress i wore to the ireland wedding.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? various tour guides and people in ireland who made our time there so awesome.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? i mean like most americans.

14. Where did most of your money go? wedding, travel, door dash, hotels. same as last year.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? ireland, obviously. starfield, and then womp womp. heartstopper. death cab and postal service concert! seeing the eras tour by myself in the theater.

16. What song(s) will always remind you of 2023? olivia rodrigo's guts album. noah kahan. the eras tour concert.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: i. Happier or sadder? the same i think. ii. Older or wiser? both i think iii. Thinner or fatter? i reject this iv. Richer or poorer? richer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? talk to people, exercise.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? ordering door dash. but it's just so easy...

20. How will you be spending Christmas? we went to my mom's house this year. my brother broke up with his girlfriend (a good decision on his part) and she proceeded to start a barrage of threatening texts from different numbers that is continuing to this day.

21. How will you be spending New Year’s Eve? we watched candlenights and then took turns playing music in a joint spotify jam while he played powerwash simulator and i started working on some of my legos.

22. Did you fall in love in 2023? with the game coral island.

23. How many one-night stands? at this moment i have several games that i started and abandoned because something new came out: tears of the kingdom, red dead redemption 2, baldur's gate 3, starfield, octopath traveller 2. and i'm currently installing spiderman 2 to play that. i do want to go back and finish all these games but god. it's so much work.

24. What was your favorite TV program? heartstopper, probably. i feel like i don't really know what tv i watched this year. i did watch a bunch of sister wives to keep up with tiktok conversations, but i would not rank that a favorite.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? i wouldn't say i'm loving where i work right now. my now ex sister in law isn't high on my list of faves but hate is a strong word.

26. What was the best book you read? i did reread the horse girl au again so there's that. i read most of 91 whiskey. i investigated some a/b/o stuff just to give it a shot. i don't know how many actual books i read.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? noah kahan.

28. What did you want and get? a new ipad, which was nice. powers johns lane, a new fave whiskey. married in ireland. 69 bookmarks. squishmallow. adhd diagnosis and medicine, which is going pretty good.

29. What did you want and not get? an interesting slime rancher 2 update. haunted chocolatier (jk concerned ape take your time).

30. What was your favorite film of this year? i saw everything everywhere all at once which was pretty great. i also saw the eras concert, the barbie movie, dungeons & dragons, the newest puss in boots movie. but there was a bit where i just watched a bunch of gay movies and i might have to give it to this english version of brokeback mountain that i enjoyed: god's own country.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? i mostly sat around and bought myself presents and it was great. i turned 35.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? feeling like writing more often. <- last year's answer is still true.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2023? comfy. comfort. comfortable things.

34. What kept you sane? quitting teaching <- still true. my husband. supernatural, bizarrely.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? i had a real olivia rodrigo moment this year.

36. What political issue stirred you the most? i mean i'd rather not think about any of it bc it all is depressing.

37. Who did you miss? my teacher friends. <- still true

38. Who was the best new person you met? we had a contractor at work who really talked me up and made me feel like i could find another job and get paid better. she was nice.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2023: work to live, etc.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

Oh, yesterdays are over my shoulder, So I can't look back for too long. There's just too much to see waiting in front of me, and I know that I just can't go wrong with these changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes; nothing remains quite the same. With all of our running and all of our cunning, If we couldn't laugh, we would all go insane

- jimmy buffett, "changes in latitude, changes in attitude"

[highwaytothedangerzone502]

India Lima Yankee - Chapter 26

Pairing: Rooster x Female OC

Word Count: 2841

Warnings: Mention of death, angst

Summary: Juliette Kazansky discovers Maverick is back in town for a special training detachment, but she's more than a little blindsided when Rooster arrives too. Having not spoken to him for almost ten years after their less than amicable break-up, Juliette can only imagine how the next few weeks are going to play out when she remains head over heels in love with him while he wants nothing to do with Juliette other than to forget her.

Or so she thinks.

Notes: Chapters in italics are flashbacks.

Chapter Songs: Wherever You Will Go As Long As You Love Me

Chapters: Chp 1 Chp 2 Chp 3 Chp 4 Chp 5 Chp 6 Chp 7 Chp 8 Chp 9 Chp 10 Chp 11 Chp 12 Chp 13 Chp 14 Chp 15 Chp 16 Chp 17 Chp 18 Chp 19 Chp 20 Chp 21 Chp 22 Chp 23 Chp 24 Chp 25 Chp 26

Rooster

He'd only been in the bathroom for a few minutes, carefully removing his service uniform and switching into sweats, a tee, and his ever-present Hawaiian shirt. He never would've guessed that in the short span of time he'd separated himself from Juliette, she would discover the piece of her he'd never let go of.

Rooster exited the bathroom, his Navy blues draped neatly over his arm, when he saw Juliette on the floor, leaning against his bed and staring at an all too familiar locket. He felt the color drain out of his face. He'd planned on telling her, on giving it to her when the moment was right, but that notion flew out the window faster than Mach 10 at the sight before him.

Abort! Abort! Abort! Rooster's head yelled at him to turn around and return to his bathroom like he hadn't seen anything, had forgotten something, but he'd already been standing there too long for him not to have recognized what she held.

Hesitantly, Rooster approached Juliette, setting his uniform on the bed and sinking to the ground beside her. He tried to think of what to say, where to begin on why he still had this sentimental necklace of hers, but any and all words caught in his throat. It was one thing for her to know he still loved her after all this time, but for Juliette to find the necklace in his possession, the one that had been there since day one of their relationship, was another. It signified both the beginning and the end of their love, a love that had never died, only been buried.

Rooster watched her slowly slip her nail between the edges of the locket and flick it open. The two pictures inside, a little worn from age but clearly visible, still remained. Her thumb trailed over the photo of her dad and Maverick, then over the one of her and Bradley, before she clicked it shut and turned it over. Juliette stared at the engraving on the back for what felt like an hour before finally looking up at him, perplexity clear on her face. "You still have this?"

He dropped his gaze from hers, keeping his eyes trained on the locket. "Yeah. I planned on giving it to you yesterday, but everything happened, and I figured I'd wait for a different time."

"Why do you still have it, though? It's been almost ten years."

"I didn't know I had it for about three of those."

Juliette tilted her head. "I sent it a week after you left. How could you not have known?"

"Just because you sent it doesn't mean I opened it," Rooster said, continuing to keep his eyes anywhere but on her. "When I got the box of my belongings, I was still pretty upset over what happened between us, and I couldn't bring myself to open it before my deployment, so I didn't. When I came back, I don't know... I still didn't want to open it. I didn't want to open the box that contained a part of my life I'd thrown away over the one and only nasty argument we ever had."

"And the next two years it stayed closed?"

"Same reason. It only got opened when an ex-girlfriend found it stashed away in my closet while we were doing some spring cleaning. Needless to say, she wasn't too happy I'd held onto it for so long, nor did she like seeing the necklace and got mad at me for never getting her something so sentimental. We didn't last long after that." Rooster reached over and stroked Lightning on the head, who had come to lay beside him. The dog provided a welcome distraction from the mortification the aviator felt trying to explain what he was. "I wanted to send it back to you, but I figured you wouldn't want anything to do with me or it since you'd sent it back along with every other gift I'd given you and the pictures of us. I couldn't bring myself to get rid of it either. To be honest, I couldn't bring myself to get rid of any of it. It's all in storage. You know I have trouble letting go of things, the good and the bad. And you... you were the best."

God, Bradley just needed her to stop staring at him, to have the weight of her gaze lifted off him because the guilt burdening him at the moment was bad enough. Naturally, Juliette didn't. She'd never been one to back down when she had questions, and right now, she probably had a million of them. 

"You told me you weren't coming back," she pointed out, causing the heart-wrenching memory to resurface in Bradley's mind. He vividly remembered sending that text to her with shaking hands. He hadn't meant it, but his rage had gotten the better of him, along with his fear. "But yet, you've made it clear that you wanted to, that you thought about it. You've held onto this-" Juliette held up the locket- "onto us, all this time. You're not telling me something, Bradley. I know you're not. What held you back? It wasn't your hurt ego and pride."

"I got scared," he confessed, finally forcing himself to lock eyes with her. "About a week before our fight, an acquaintance of mine died in a training accident. His plane had a mechanical malfunction, and he went down. I didn't see it, but I saw his wife after she'd been told the news and the look on her face... I can't describe the despair. I never told you about that death because I knew you were upset about me leaving, as much as you supported me being in the Navy. I didn't want to add to your worry, so I kept quiet about it. Fast-forward to after our fight, when I calmed down, all I could see was the look on your face when I left, and it killed me because it was so dangerously close to what that wife wore, and that was just because of me walking out. If I died while being with you... the idea of putting you through that made me panic. I'd rather you hate me than ever put you through that kind of misery. I realize now that wasn't my call to make. You wouldn't have stayed with me if you didn't want to deal with that possibility, but seeing that woman after her husband died and seeing what my dad's death did to Mom, I just... I panicked, Jules."

"Did you really think I could ever hate you?" Juliette inquired softly. 

"After what happened? Yeah. And then you showed at my Top Gun graduation, and I could barely tear my eyes from you, but you... you wouldn't even look at me."

Juliette shook her head. "It's not because I hated you. It's because I felt guilty. I still blamed myself for what happened between us, and I knew you could've had that Top Gun trophy a lot sooner had Maverick and I not held you back."

"You didn't hold me back, Jules, and I am so sorry for ever making you think that you did," Rooster said, brushing a piece of hair out of her face. "I'm sorry for leaving you and for staying away, and I'm sorry for making you feel the way I did all this time. God knows I loved you back then and that I still love you."

"Rooster-"

"The locket is yours to keep if you want it. It will always be yours and no one else's. If you don't want it, you can get rid of it. Or I can if you don't want the trouble."

"Bradley-"

"If you don't want me to stay the night after all this, I get it," he continued, standing up to place some distance between himself and Juliette before she most likely broke what was left of his heart. Why would she want the necklace? Why would she still love him in the way he wanted her to? Sure, they'd fallen into their old habits of confiding in each other, of supporting one another when things got tough, of showing those little acts of genuine affection, and yes, they'd kissed more than once and shared flirty remarks, but who was to say Juliette wanted a relationship after the way he ended things with her last time? Just because she still loved him didn't mean she wanted to be with him again. "I can reach out to Maverick, have him give you a ride home."

Juliette stood up. "Bradley, would you please-"

A knock on his door interrupted both of them. He swiftly moved to open it, anything to have a change in conversation, willing to talk to anyone, even Hangman. Still, thankfully, it wasn't his rival at the door but Phoenix and Bob.

"Hey," Phoenix said, leaning against the doorframe. "The others and I are watching a movie in the break room. Thought you'd like to join."

Bradley's brain short-circuited for an answer. Part of him wanted to say he couldn't because he was driving Juliette home, but would she even still want him to after their conversation? Would she want to be around him at all?

"Hey, Juliette," Phoenix said, her gaze shifting to behind Rooster. "I know you're probably exhausted from today, but you're welcome to join too."

"I'm surprised you two aren't exhausted as well," Jules replied, coming to stand beside Bradley. He glanced down at her, attempting to act as naturally as he could to avoid Phoenix and Bob figuring out the two of them had been having an awkward conversation. "I meant to ask you earlier, and I'm so sorry for just now asking this, but are you two doing okay? No injuries from yesterday?"

"Yeah, we're fine. And don't apologize for not asking," Phoenix assured, smiling appreciatively. "You've had a hell of a past twenty-four hours."

"Are y'all coming?" Hangman shouted from down the hallway.

Phoenix rolled her eyes. "Hold your horses, Bagman! We'll be there in a sec!" She turned to Jules and Rooster. "You two joining?"

"I'll, uh, I'll leave that up to Juliette," Bradley said, rubbing the back of his neck while glancing down at his ex. He wanted to give her an escape if she wanted one. 

Jules smiled up at him, resting her hand on his bicep. "Yeah, we'll join. Just give us a few minutes, would you?"

"Cool. We'll see you there." Phoenix and Bob departed, and Rooster shut the door, trying to ignore the electric surges traveling up and down his arm from Juliette's touch. God, he wished they could've left with his friends so he wouldn't have to hear the inevitable denial of his wishes, even if he did deserve them. 

"If you want to change out of your clothes," Rooster began, slipping out of her grasp and hoping the sudden change of topic would make her ignore what they'd previously been discussing, "I can go find some spares for you, or you can wear some of my clothes. They might be a little big on you, but-"

"Bradley, stop. I know what you're doing," Juliette interrupted, closing the distance he'd placed between them. "Don't deflect."

"I'm not- I don't-" Rooster ran a hand through his hair, taking a deep breath. "Today was about your dad, and you should be grieving him, not dealing with my bullshit."

"Yeah, well, it's not just your bullshit. It's mine, too, because we both had a part in our falling out. I'd rather figure us out than have to think about earlier because I have all the time in the world to grieve my dad because we both know the grief never leaves, no matter how much time passes. You get used to it, but that's it. With you, I don't know how much time I have left because you're probably going on a death mission, and I don't want to be questioning what was between us if I lose you. So talk to me, Bradley. Tell me what you want."

"I want to be with you again, Juliette," Rooster said quietly, swallowing the hope she might want the same thing he did. He couldn't allow himself to have his dreams broken like that, not again. Besides, the frustration in her voice more than gave him his answer, but he still needed to hear her say it to be sure. "But I understand if you don't want the same thing."

Her sapphire eyes pierced his as if searching for some unspoken words he was holding back from her like the last few times they'd verged into this territory, but Bradley had bared the rest of his soul to her tonight, and if she chose not to try again, he would respect her wishes. He would rather have Jules in his life as a friend than not at all. 

Rooster watched as she reached down and grabbed hold of his hand. Lifting it, Juliette placed the locket in his open palm, and Rooster's shoulders sagged. He'd been right, and God, crashing into the ground in a ball of fire would've been less agonizing than this.

Juliette turned around, but rather than walking away, she lifted her wavy blonde hair up, revealing her neck to him. It took a moment for Rooster's brain to register what she was silently asking him to do, but the second it did, he swiftly draped the locket around her neck before the opportunity disappeared. 

"Everything that's happened is water under the bridge, okay?" Juliette said, facing him, the locket resting snugly on her chest where it always belonged. "Neither of us will hold what we did against each other. It'll be a clean slate for both of us and-"

Rooster couldn't contain himself anymore. He cupped her face and crashed his lips onto hers. All the other kisses they'd shared, he'd held back in fear of revealing too much about his feelings, even the one from yesterday, but Bradley couldn't help it now. He poured all the love and longing and lost time into this kiss. Juliette returned it with a voraciousness of her own, snaking her arms around his neck and pressing her body into his, closing any remaining distance between them that she could. He wrapped one arm around her waist and used his free hand to weave his fingers in her hair and keep her head firmly where it was. Rooster wanted nothing more than to lose himself in Juliette like he used to because she had this ability, whether she knew it or not, to make all his worries disappear just by pressing her lips to his. Bradley wanted to lay her on the bed and reacquaint himself with her body and the softness of its curves, to leave his mark on her on places only she could see.

He just might've had Hangman not banged loudly on the door and shouted, "You two coming or not?"

"I'm gonna kill him," Rooster murmured against Juliette's lips. 

"Hang on!" Juliette yelled, bracing her forehead against Bradley's. Then, lowering her voice, she added, "We did say we'd go."

"I hate that we agreed to it, but if we don't, we'll never hear the end of it."

"Can I take you up on wearing some of your clothes? I'd really like to get out of this dress."

"You know I always loved seeing you in my clothes." Rooster kissed her once more, then tore himself away from her and opened his dresser. He pulled out some attire he thought would be the best fit. Juliette took them from him and slipped into the bathroom to change. Within thirty seconds, she returned. Rooster smiled at the sight of her in the oversized tee, and the too-large sweatpants rolled up so she wouldn't trip on them, the drawstrings pulled as tight as they could go to keep them up.

They headed towards his door, but before his hand touched the handle, she stopped him and said, "Hey, I know you probably won't like this, but let's keep us a secret until the mission's over. If you go on it, I don't want the others thinking I convinced Maverick to send you out of favoritism. I mean, Phoenix, Bob, and Hangman can know because I'm pretty sure they all suspect it anyway, but not the others. People tend to act weird when coworkers date."

"We can just tell them we're old acquaintances for now," Rooster teased, slipping his arm around her waist. 

Juliette laughed. "You're never going to let me live that one down, are you?"

"No. Also, before we go-" Rooster bent down and kissed just below her left ear, a place he knew was one of her weak points. It elicited a small noise of pleasure from her. Grinning, he whispered, "India-" he kissed the spot below her right ear- "Lima-" he kissed her lips- "Yankee."

***

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