#and now jensen’s liked it! yesterday i wanted to post something about hoping he would but i forgot

[canonicallysoulmates]

J2 Gold Panel Nashcon 2022

Temperatures in Nashville are dropping so Jared was excited that he had gotten to wear a scarf the day prior because of the chill and Jensen jokes that Jared waits all year long to be able to put on a scarf, that he lives in the wrong place to have a scar fetish to which Jared replies that he wouldn’t call it a fetish and Jensen just goes "you can call it whatever you want, it's a fetish" 😂

Jumping into the questions, do they think the brothers actually read every Carver Edlund book to find out what their brother was thinking or did they make a pact not to read them? Jared says Sam read them cause Sam read and read when he was alive. Jensen said Sam probably told Dean to read them but Dean told him "I don’t read books, books read me.” and "why would I read, I’m living it?"

He doesn’t know that Dean would have read one but he thinks he has one of the prop books and Jared says he thinks he has one too but that he doesn’t know which one. Jensen says he and Jared were full kleptomaniacs on the set of spn, and he can admit that now bc he hasn’t been served legal papers and it’s been years. So Jared asks him what his favorite thing that he took is, and Jensen answers that he would say baby but that’s not really a theft, they got permission otherwise it would have been awkward when they would have kept driving off in her. Jared mentions that outside of what they took they got little gift packages from the props department. So there are some fun things.

Jensen says that WB did send a list of things they wanted to retain and there were a lot of leftover things that didn’t seem relevant or special but were special to them like items that may not mean anything to the studio but it did to them. But he will say one of the things that found its way into his pocket was years before when he knew they were going to destroy Bobby’s house, on his desk there was a little antique brass calendar that you roll to turn the date and for some reason, he would keep playing with it on set and he thought it was the coolest little vintage thing and it went “missing” he doesn’t know where it went. Jared jokes that this explains why Jensen’s always calling him being like dude can you believe it’s 1996? 😆

Jared starts to say he stole- then changes his wording and says two things went "missing" from Bobby’s desk one was his flask and the other was an owl figurine paperweight thing but Jim was like 'oh I was hoping to get that owl, I don’t know what happened to it' so Jared went to his trailer and gave it to him. Post-show he was given some of the legos, samulet, an army man, hotel room keys, and he got sent like three of the burner phones. Jensen says when they were like 'okay last day on Bobby Singer's house tearing it down tomorrow' he and Jared went full cat burglar on stage, that he would have taken the couch if he could have fit it in his shirt. x

A fan is having their second child and they want the boys to vote on the two names they’ve narrowed down to, the two names are Calvin or William. The boys joke around about names, and I don't know how to explain it but basically, Jensen does a weird shortening of Jared's name saying that when he says it to others he ends up spitting all over people, and Jared goes 'yeah you just spit on me I think, I'm now moisturized 😂' Jensen brings up the good point that something parents have to think about is what’s the shortening of that name going to be, and after some more back and forth the vote is for Calvin from both of them. x

Through this panel and the main one, Jared is making pun jokes left and right, and one of them is that he says there was a kidnapping at his children's school but he woke up. And Jensen comments that he wanted to punch Jared when he told him that yesterday because their kids go to the same school and Jared approached him very seriously and was like "did you hear there was a kidnapping?" and Jensen was worried he was like "what grade?" "5th grade but it’s okay he woke up." and Jensen was ready to smack him 😂

Assuming they were telling the truth, whether or not they decided to believe, what would be their reaction to getting the monsters are real talk? Jared answers that he would say "no shit man, I ain’t concerned I know a guy who knows a guy who knows these two brothers they’ll keep us safe." Jensen says he guesses it’s a good thing he’s been practicing for the last 15yrs, even though it was pretend now it can have real-world applications, he’s essentially been training, he’s been at boot camp for 15yrs so he'd be like "put me in the field coach let’s get it on." x

What was it like working with James Marsters and Charisma Carpenter? It was awesome. Jared says that they had met them a few times, in their line of work you kind of run into everybody at some point in time so they kind of knew them both casually but then they’ve (JM and CC) done so much tv that they knew their lines and knew how to do stunts and they were sweet and kind. And he thinks Charisma introduced him to Twitter or facebook or something, she asked if he was on there and he said no and she told him how to do it and to follow her so he did, and James was also awesome.

Jensen says James was great and that something he remembers vividly about that episode is that they had a stunt where Dean gets pulled by some french doors and usually there's a stunt team with ratchet pulls and machines to yank you but for some reason the set was positioned in a way that would make it difficult to rig up the system but one of their special effects guys was a former football player and was jacked and he said he could just pull Jensen. So his stunt double went first, Jensen says thank god cause he got to see what was going to be done to him, and then it was his turn and he put on the belt, and then the guy had a harness that tied them together and he got into the hut position like you do when you're playing (american) football and when they yelled action he ran and Jensen went flying as if he got hit by a pickup truck. And James was shocked. x

If they could play a character in a video game or play a video game character in a live-action adaptation what would they choose? Jared says Mario in the voice and does some jumping. And Jensen is just like wtf? 😂

Jensen reveals that he was pushing hard for this role but he doesn’t think he was even in the mix or even had a shot at it but it was for Pedro Pascal’s role in the Last Of Us adaptation. That was high up on his radar but he is headed to LA to shoot for a whole day for a new game that’s coming out that’d be in January but he can’t say what it is just yet. I love Jared’s little expression here when Jensen mentions this project he looks so excited, and he jokes that if you can find Jensen he’s going to be in a skin-tight green suit that he'll tweet the location. x

I had never heard of this but it's an interesting concept. A fan is marrying themself and they want a song recommendation from each of the boys for their reception. Jensen says Reba’s 'I’m a survivor'. An iconic song. Jared says unstoppable by Sia. x

If they could have dinner with any three people living or dead who would they be? Jensen asks if they can just go with one or the other because if you say living or dead you open it up to everybody, so the fan says dead. That doesn’t narrow it down for Jensen and he comments that living would have been much easier because so many more people have died.

Jared replies that he would love to have dinner with his dad’s dad, so his great grandpa, who passed before he was born, probably a Greek philosopher, and their friend Matt to have a final conversation with him. Jensen says he could throw a long list because there’s a lot, language might be an issue but he has some questions for Jesus, he would also ask him to walk on water and tell him his water doesn’t taste like wine be like "spice this up padre", and then he would probably go with his two grandfathers because he wasn’t old enough to really understand their lives the way he is now and he’d ask a lot more questions; he’d want to see his grandmas too but he feels he knew his grandmother's more because they shared with him more. That it's a generational thing men didn’t talk very much in their generation so he feels like if he had opened that door they would have been receptive to it but that’s not a door that you opened back then, so he would have liked to have sat with them and asked them about their life, especially the war. x

To wrap up the panel, during the course of 15yrs what was their favorite/most challenging/grossest monster? Jensen says he knows Jared’s grossest, it's when he had to cut the hellhound stomach and all the guts fell on him. Jared says that and the fly monster that drools because he hates spit, that he rather someone come up to him and punch him in the face than spit on him on purpose. That there was one where they had to spray him with juice or something and he felt it was like getting spit but they were like 'it’s just a water gun' so he was like that’s fine, so anything that feels like mouth fluid even though he has no problem doing things like drinking a coke after his kids. He also says he hasn’t showered this month. Jared, you are going down a path I cannot follow because this I cannot defend, take a shower! This is probably why you keep getting sick. Then Jensen brings up how Jared would stick his gum on the table in Jensen's trailer and then pop it back in his mouth. I had not heard this story in so long, this is like from the vault of classic j2.

Then his fav were probably shapeshifters. He likes the mental chess whether Jensen was the shapeshifter, or he was or somebody else was those were kind of his favorite scenes to shoot cause they were kind of like the psychological warfare instead of just kicking and punching and cutting off heads. 

Jensen would say his favorite was probably vampires because they didn’t have the power to press them against a wall like demons did, like if Crowley is pining them against a wall that's a position they gotta stay in for a minute and a half till they yell cut and do over and over again so you start hyperventilating and it’s exhausting, and your muscles cramp up. Vampires were just good old fashion hand to hand combat and he enjoyed that a lot better than some sort of supernatural element that has them being thrown around by whatever. 

Grosses he’s gonna go back all the way to Wendigo. Seeing that for the first time really set the town for the kind of show that they were doing for the next year. Not 15 years because they had no idea that’s how long they were gonna go, the boys also mention that the actor who played Roy was not a classically trained stuntman, but he was all for doing his stunt so they put the fire gel on him and set him on fire and then about two seconds later he was asking for it to be put out, he did not like it, and Jared and Jensen were left freaked out and wondering about what they had just gotten themselves into. x

J2 Gold Panel Nashcon

[hologramcowboy]

Hello!

I was on Twitter yesterday and I saw Jensen "fans" making fun of Tumblr posts about Jensen drinking onstage. In my ask yesterday or the day before, I noted that wanting drunk Jensen on stage wasn’t actually a good thing. They said they've seen him more drunk on stage at JIB, and, yes, I have too. This is actually not a good thing. 🙄. As he didn’t seem happy then either. They got incredibly defensive calling it "virtue signaling" and commenting on how ALL "rockstars" drink on stage. The having a drink onstage part isn’t even the issue, at least for me.

I don’t believe those of us commenting have an issue with Jensen having a drink on stage, rather that he looks wrecked and dead inside while doing it (which drinking amplifies, not helps). They even compared comments on Jensen being drunk and looking unhappy to the kind of negative comments Jared gets, which is so not the same. Jared gets unfounded hate and people looking for ways to vilify him. This seems like so much ignoring the context of what people are saying to focus on the superficial, and avoiding the issues actually being brought up. Very fitting for superficial fans, who care first about his attractiveness and just want him to be fun.

I actually don’t have an issue with people drinking, or going out and having a good time, and do it myself when I can. But what I find concerning is when people talk about it all the time and appear to be using alcohol as a crutch to get through situations/life. And I find it a red flag to see people looking tired, sad or dead in the eyes when drinking, as it could signal a deeper issue.

Anyway, despite people thinking it’s virtue signaling, I am still genuinely concerned for Jensen and I won’t apologize for not just parroting what a handsome and talented and happy King he is.

I could be wrong about him not being happy, but I don’t think I am. And if I’m right, I hope he finds something that truly brings him joy soon, rather than something temporary he can distract himself with.

Seems like you got flack from Jensen's more obsessed fans. I know they are very invasive bunch so sorry you had to be exposed to that.♥️

Jensen is going through something right now, the signs are all there, the problem is heartless people like his obsessed stans only look at his hotness and fail to see him and what he is going through. They are the ones who virtue signal when they pretend to care about him. If they truly cares they wouldn't be objectifying his concert appearance but would rather be worried, like the rest of us.

I actually received messages trying to gaslight me from people supposedly at the concert, who said he was happy. Yet every clip, every picture, he looks desperate, lost, unhappy and abysmally drunk.

I realize now just how toxic and careless these people are, they care more about his hotness than about him and would be capable of standing there watching him fade away but be entirely happy about it because they want so badly to believe he is into them so they can feed their fantasies. They care more about their fantasies than about a real life human who is visibly struggling. Worst of all, they attack anyone who dares speak the truth and have no regard for the perspective of others. I'm really starting to connect how these people have a personality disorder, they are more connected to the fake image they built of Jensen and fetishing that than they will ever be to who he actually is.

It's no wonder the man is spiraling, I mean is there anyone around him that actually loves and understands him? Because he seems extremely lost and most of all, alone.

Escapism will only take him so far and his health will deteriorate from all the drinking and yet people are hypersexualizing him and completely ignoring his state. He doesn't need obsessed fans stalking him at every turn, he needs real human connection from the right people. People who can help him grow and who truly are invested in seeing him succeed on every level.

I too hope he finds joy as it is clearly lacking from his life and that is endlessly sad. 💔

[lulu-zodiac]

Do you recall the vid of Jensen giving a Valentine card to Misha? And there's a part towards the end where Richard was jokingly saying along the lines of "I hope your Valentine's suck" and Jensen replied "that's a terrible thing to say in front of my Valentine's"? Can you do an analysis of that ❤️

omg nonnie you must have a sixth sense bc i was literally watching that video yesterday and thinking how absolutely wild it is. there is so much to analyse in it. SO much. it's a super interesting moment that i think is really underrated tbh.

but before we get into the analysis, can we just take a moment to appreciate how stupidly adorable it is that jensen used up all the glitter on misha's card and wrote "happy valentines, love yourself first" on it with a bunch of sparkly hearts??? someone help the poor man he is just an absolute goner.

okay, so one of the things i find really interesting about this moment is that jensen's whole demeanour changes the moment he suspects misha is filming.

he goes from openly giving misha a cute, soppy card to this hesitant, guarded "are you filming?" as spots the camera and realises it's not a private moment. you can literally see the wall go up on his face. and i just think that's really interesting, because let's face it, why would you have that reaction about giving a friend a valentine's card?? why would the prospect of people knowing you care about your friend provoke that kind of fearful, nervous response???

i also think it's very interesting that misha made it clear from the beginning of the video he'd have to hide the fact he was filming, like he knew jensen would have been hesitant about it. again, why would this have been the case unless it was a moment that was in some way potentially private?? misha has filmed them both tons of times and done spontaneous live streams etc, and yet here it's different.

and then the interchange you mention. oh BOY. i literally spat my tea out the first time i heard what was said because wow. the sound quality is a little shaky so it's not 100% clear exactly what's said, but the general consensus (which i agree with) seems to be that richard says "i hope your valentine's sucks" to which jensen replies "that's an awful thing to say in front of my valentine on valentine's day". which??? he's literally just called misha his valentine.

three interesting things about this:

1) HE LITERALLY CALLED MISHA HIS VALENTINE

2) it has very protective don't-you-dare-hurt-my-misha vibes

3) as soon as jensen says it, misha IMMEDIATELY turns the camera back around, looks knowingly at the lens and says "that's what really happens behind the scenes". which, okay. might just be a throwaway mark, but also?? also could very much be him implying that cockles is real. that yes, behind the scenes he really is jensen's valentine. i mean. it's a classic misha tactic - hiding the truth in plain sight.

he also turns the camera around after jensen says it with a kind of hastiness that suggests jensen has just said something revealing, or which he knows jensen wouldn't want to be recorded. the fact he basically cuts jensen off by turning the camera around so quickly and starting to speak over him just further confirms that for me. and the slightly guilty, bashful, amused quality to misha's expression??? even more fuel for the fire, oh my god. he's definitely flustered.

so yes. LOTS of very interesting things here. i could honestly ramble on about them for way too long but i'll stop now because i feel like that's quite enough cockles derangement for one post.

a final note - i love how at the end rob and richard are commenting on how good jensen's card is, suggesting that jensen spent a lot of time and effort making it in the first place. which. just. excuse me while i go and cry helplessly over how in love this poor man is. HE CUT OUT LOTS OF LITTLE HEARTS AND ARRANGED THEM PRETTILY AND - yeah. okay. i'm officially spiralling even deeper into the dumpster now. send help.

[spn-season-16-chronicles]

SPNews

15th February 2021

No official news. Yesterday's #DeanCasWedding twitter tag so visible that it got its own article. Just after the peak of that trend Chad Lindberg anongside Samantha Ferris started posting their own updates about Harvelle Roadhouse. In both versions the the Roadhouse was very busy and chaotic, for sure.

People moving on to tweeting about Destiel's honeymoon and planning hijacking valentines day forever. Appreciating eachother and the chaos we are capable of. Heller's fun was criticised by... Not nice people. It was totally safe fun after all, without (at least visible) harassing cast and creators.

Sadly said harassment resulted in suspension of Heller Daily News on twitter by their creator indefinitely. It is even more sad for us, as our news colegue from other agency really did care about what he was doing, while we are doing that for literally no reason whatsoever, without any care, just for selfish daily fun. Writers will personally track down and smack in the head those responsible for harassing Tim from Heller Daily News like that.

Daneel posted a adorable video with JJ and a photo on instagram , containing Jensen with wild facial hair. Part of the fandom calls him mountain king, part (again, like with the last picture) calls him ugly thinks it's funny (it is not). Again if you've got nothing nice to say, don't say anything.

From related news: The Boys will start filming tomorrow (meaning Tuesday) with Jensen apparently joining later. The season will most likely premiere in 2022

What will happen tomorrow?

And now weather

From the writers: We wanted to remind you that no matter who you are writing at famous or not, ther is always real person on the other side of the screen. And you have now way knowing how your harassment will influence them(We are hoping that none of you has done that, or is actively doing that, if you ever harassed, threatened (death threats are the lowest), doxxed or bullied someone you may as well leave, because we are very strongly against that here), how much they have on their plates already, how deep will your words cut. So if you don't like something just because, don't harass creators, scroll down, block tags. And if you think that the content might be harmful don't hasitate to report it. And for those who found themselves on the other hand of the stick - remember, you matter, you are loved and amazing. I know that you sometimes feel like you want to stay despite that, but remember to value your mental wellbeing over the fandom. Dean would want that for you (although ofc he would do exactly the opposite). Stay safe, strong and nontoxic peeps

[herstarburststories]

illicit love

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x reader

Summary: Jensen loves you, but sometimes love isn’t the right thing.

A/N: Hey, guys! All we needed was a newish fic to say that I was really back, here it is! This one goes for @negans-lucille-tblr 6k challenge. So glad you got to another millestone, honey. It's like I was posting my part for your 5k celebration just yesterday! xD Prompt in bold.

Warnings: age gap, cheating

Jensen Ackles kept squinting through the bricks of his memory in an attempt to recall where it all began. Maybe it was when he drove off the road he had known for years with the dumbfounded desire to take the trails yet traveled, threading his fingers through your hair on the night of September 7th. He could’ve chosen the easy out and say it all started to crumble with the first kiss, but no. The actor, father, and now horrible husband highly doubted that. No, as he unwound the convoluted wires in his mind, it wasn’t the first clandestine meeting that he saw as the beginning, not the first kiss or the primal stolen glances. It wasn’t even the lies or the way he pushed his body against yours in an act of illicit faith.

Like any grand mistake, it was way before that. Just like how the church not-so-gently advised, it all starts with craving something you never thought you would want.

It happened when he landed the job in a new series after leaving a fifteen-year-long rollercoaster, pushing away any real witness to the fact the old show that swallowed part of his soul was over. There was a certain shock of excitement misplaced by the fact he was going to be working with Eric again, and that the show was an abrupt change considering what he had been doing previously. Now, he believed it was his body’s particular way of telling him that — as the savage animals can sense rain or a calamity — this, baby, this is gonna change your life.

JENSEN ACKLES CAST AS SOLDIER BOY!

‘’Since when have you read comics?’’ Jensen arched his messy eyebrows at Dee’s curiosity about the Homelander and Soldier Boy panel making it to the screen. Shaking the comic book in his right hand slightly, he continued: ‘’Especially that kind.’’

‘’Never,’’ Danneel stated plainly, “but I have Google. It was pretty much the first thing that appeared.’’

‘’Well, Eric said that scene won't be on the screen. Besides, the portrayal won't be that Soldier Boy, but the original one who died in the war. ‘Course, he wouldn’t have died there in our show, but it ain’t the panel one.’’ He shrugged, bringing her closer to his side as she snuggled against him. ‘’There’ll be a bunch of Herogasm, which is basically drugs and sex. Just not with Homelander.’’

Danneel nodded at his explanation, humor clinging to her words as she added: ‘’Guess the only man I have to share you with is still Jared.’’

‘’Hey, you knew what you were getting yourself into.’’ Jensen scoffed playfully before kissing her cheek. ‘’Can't wait to start the show.’’

Jensen leaned forward to rest the comic that he had been religiously studying to form a psychological character profile on the dashboard of the Impala. The actor was spending plenty of hours inside his most palpable Supernatural souvenir -- Baby. His safe place. He sure as hell needed one of those, as molding a whole character that has a bunch of source material wasn’t as easy as he pictured. With Dean, he was putting himself and the script in one until it made his imaginary best friend. It was love at the first sight. Soldier Boy, however, was a long story short. Jensen figured he should do both, honor the character created and add his own special ingredients to it. It was a brand new kind of passion that he hadn’t done for a series in the longest time. Still, his glance trailed back to the woman by his side in the backseat.

‘’Let's hope it won't last another decade,” she mocked.

Jensen shook his head with a chuckle, relaxing against the leather seat. Even the mere smell of the Impala was enough to settle his nerves. ‘’Eric has plans for five seasons.’’

Danneel’s features contorted as if having war flashbacks. Sort of. She never imagined Supernatural would make it that far, and now with three kids, signing on for another excessively time-consuming idea for a new show didn’t seem too appealing either. Yet, she would support Jensen in any decision he’d take regarding his job. “Remind me the last time I heard that line before?” 

‘’Come on.’’ He let out a wry huff, poking her side in a playful manner. She couldn't help but laugh, returning the gesture with tickles to start a very light-hearted battle. He seemed happy with the new job, something Danneel truly thought he would have more difficulty with. She’d pushed her weathered worries away with his easy-going laughter for now.

SOLDIER BOY’S LOVE INTEREST?

Eric Kripke threw the gossip magazine on the table, his eyes not straying from his long-time friend’s. He could’ve simply added the digital article to an irate email and be done with it, but he was a simple man with extravagant taste. That had been usual through his whole career, especially regarding the Supernatural aesthetic. Yet, in those mundane situations, Jensen almost found it too much. That wasn’t the case, though. If anything, the plain, yet still overpowering words that his green eyes scanned made his body sweat. He could even hear his organs working from the absolute silence of the blame that covered the room. Kripke’s room had never seemed more like an interrogation chamber than now.

The magazine in question held Jensen and your picture on the cover, his arms wrapped around your torso as he pulled you close. The most sequin smile hung from your lips like happiness was something that could be touched on that sunny day in the private park near the studio. Giant and garish letters made the headline along with the subline: Jensen Ackles wearing his Soldier Boy costume caught sharing a passionate kiss with the new arrival of The Boy’s Team: Y/N Y/L/N, also known on-screen as Cangaceira!

His voice came out as an accusation: ‘’What’s this, Jensen?’’

‘’We were…’’ The director just waved his hand to interrupt.

‘’Don’t try saying you were practicing a scene because I wrote the Soldier Boy and Cangaceira kiss, and it wasn’t here.’’ Acid tainted his words with no space for fake niceties on his set. Jensen remained in the chair, not even daring to make the most subtle move. Eric knew where he was hitting, and Ackles deserved a punch in the jaw. “The sex scene wasn’t here either, but you two added a lot of erotic subtext. Trust me, I know.’’

His shoulders fell in exhaustion. ‘’Eric…’’

‘’You’re lucky we were going to make those two a couple anyway. I can just put the kiss here and save your ass. What if that wasn’t the case, huh?’’ the director continued, more interested in spilling out his anger than listening to dumb excuses. ‘’What about Danneel, Jensen? You have a wife and kids, for God’s sake!’’

The breaking point. Jensen rose to his feet with sudden frustration, a growl leaving his lips as he pushed the chair to the side with uncharacteristic brutality. How could Eric bring up his family like this? And how could Jensen’s heart not bring them up when he kissed you before?  It was all a fucking mess, and he had no choice but to choke down whatever came out of it, even if it was poison and spite.

‘’Fuck, Eric! Do you think I don’t know that? Do you think it doesn’t pull me apart every time I go home and know I’m lying to the people who love me?’’ The vein on his neck popped as he spoke, emotion gushing thicker through his arteries than blood. Woe remerged under his skin as he swallowed dryly, resting his hands on the table and looking down. That wasn’t him. He had done a lot of things that weren't him lately. ‘’I have enough guilt here, pal.’’

Eric just glared down at the man’s outburst, furrowing before asking, ‘’What’s going on, Jay? You don’t just get up and cheat on your wife. That ain’t you.’’

He shook his head. ‘’I don’t know. Y/N’s just…’’

‘’At least 20 years younger than you,” he stated. ‘’Just starting her career and might be getting the homewrecker title if someone finds out.’’

‘’I won’t let that happen.’’

‘’How? You are gonna be more careful or will you cut it out and go back to your wife and three kids?’’ When Ackles didn’t respond, Eric sighed. ‘’Just stop this, Jensen. Let her go.’’

Jensen scoffed humorlessly. ‘’I can’t.’’

Kripke felt like talking to a teenager. He shook his head as he got up. ‘’Do you have any idea what you’re doing here? This could destroy your family, destroy Y/N’s chance to make a name when you already have your own. That’s selfish in all proportions, Jensen!’’

‘’I know, I know.’’

‘’She deserves more than this and —’’

‘’I know.’’

‘’You are gonna mess up everyone’s lives —’’

‘’I know!’’ He slammed the table and winced, turning around with his hands on his head. If only he could stop his thoughts for a second and reorganize his feelings. ‘’Do you think it doesn’t rip my heart out that I can’t love her?’’

‘’Who?’’ The burning question was ready to set everything ablaze. ‘’You can’t love Y/N, or you can’t love your wife anymore, Jensen?’’

He couldn’t love you in public. He couldn’t love Danneel anywhere. Love just escaped through his reaches when you spoke his name like a prayer, and it was time to accept that.

‘’Both.’’

NO CHICK FLICK MOMENTS: SOLDIER BOY AND CANGACEIRA TALK ABOUT WHAT TO EXPECT FROM THEIR RELATIONSHIP

‘’It's amazing to portray with Jensen. I’ve watched Supernatural since I was like twelve, which probably isn't advisable.’’ You chortled, answering the reporter’s question. Your body could barely contain your excitement under your skin, although, why would you want that? You did it. You got the job you had dreamed and worked hard for. To a bonus, you were working with Jensen Ackles! If there was someone that had earned the right to scream to the sky until your face was the color of the red carpet your heels currently stood on, it was you. ‘‘I was even a Samgirl!’’

Jensen faked a gasp next to you, a light spectrum surrounding the interview. ‘’Really? Me too!’’

You pushed his shoulder playfully while he chuckled. ‘’Anyway, I'm very excited to be here and portray a strong latina superhero. The representation’s very important, and to be able not only to cherish it, but to be a part of it doing what I love and inspiring people like me is… mythical.’’

‘’Wow, woman!’’ Ackles pursed his lips, clapping a little before shifting his gaze from you to the reporter. ‘’She likes the big words. I swear, dude. She’ll just come and in like, a casual conversation, say something like gelid or whilst, and then she's gonna say dumbass. Both sound smart as heck.’’

You winked. ''It's the accent. Makes everything sound nice.”’

Jensen nodded but was quick to sprinkle in an incendiary remark to his compliments. ‘’Yeah, I have never seen someone confuse coach and couch before. Go sit on the coach got a lot of wrong ideas.’’

‘’Hey, you sat on the coach!’’

‘’Because I’m a good boy.’’

You rolled your eyes despite the grin on your lips. ‘’Sure, mister hours-to-get-ready.’’

‘’Hey, plenty of face masks are needed to keep this — ’’ He pointed at his face. ‘’at fourteen.’’

‘’All I hear is that you’re old.’’ Your eyebrows knitted together. Jensen licked his lips at the sight. On any other day, he’d pick you up, say I’m gonna show you who’s old, and enjoy where your teasing had gotten you two, but he couldn’t do it now. You’d get what was coming to you after the event, perhaps even under the table if your dress allowed it, or in the bathroom, if you kept going.

The mischievous smirk on your cherry-stained lips proved that you knew what was going through his mind. God, you were his sweet death. Nonetheless, Jensen sighed dramatically and looked at the camera. ‘’This is what I have to deal with every day.’’

The reporter went on, happily surprised about how comfortable you and Jensen seemed together. Usually, new coworkers were timider around each other during interviews, especially when they were a romantic pair. The journalist decided to try getting a little sneak peek of the couple aspects of Soldier Boy and Cangaceira.

‘’It's definitely interesting.’’

‘’But not in the best way.’’ The only thing more messed up than Jensen’s relationship with you was the correlation between your characters. At least you and he had the purity of love, even if it was twisted enough to turn heads and churn stomachs

‘’Certainly not in the best way.’’ You agreed, bringing him back into reality as always. ‘’It's really nice to explore a couple that doesn't consist of two white people getting to it like most main characters of the shows in our current climate. It’s not the kind of relationship you should be rooting for — not because it's interracial or anything, that's pretty much the biggest, if not only, positive aspect about those two — but because they aren’t healthy at all, just as all main relationships in our show. It's not a romance series, and we certainly don't treat our couples like it.’’

‘’Told you she is the beauty and the brains.’’ His cheeks dimpled with joy and pride as he looked at you. Jensen knew how excitedly nervous you were about that interview. He couldn’t wait to tell you how great you were like you were born to sell dreams and magazines. ‘’But yeah, it’s a messed up relationship like any other in The Boys. After all, it's not a respectful, wholesome show. It's about gritty superheroes that ain’t got heroism. Soldier Boy isn't a good guy, and it translates in his relationship too.’’

You nodded in agreement, brushing his arm to keep you sane. ‘’It’ll be an interesting dynamic to see on-screen to our show standards, but it's not an actual picture of how a relationship should be.’’

THE BOYS 100TH EPISODE PARTY!

The glimmer of his green comet eyes caught your undivided attention in the throngs of people. The crowd had gathered for his family, his arm around his wife's waist as you both shared a tender, stolen look. You savored her wine and yearned for the man in her arms.

It was just a small celebration due to COVID’s lasting effects on public events. People from the set and their significants together were in the Ackles house for a couple of drinks, small talk, and a cake with The Boy’s comics printed on it.

‘’Aunt Y/N!’’ JJ tugged your dress, her mix of Danneel and Jensen’s features almost haunting your soul. Almost. You would never despise a kid for that — you didn’t even have the right to. If anything, JJ was the one that would graduate to hating you someday. You didn't have enough youthful stupidity not to know the risks of being in love with a married man. ‘’Auntie!’’

You leaned in the most that you could with the red skirt, glancing at the child. ‘’Yes, honey?’’

‘’That’s my new Barbie! I bought a beach one! She looks like you!’’ the blonde kid said with a childish joy that ached in your heart. You could end up destroying her family’s stability if Jensen went any further, yet there she was; buying dolls that looked like you and so happily babbling about it.

You were a monster. Love opened you up and planted greedy seeds, and now you were a monster growing like a beautiful tree that could never be strong enough to hold a kid as they climbed up. The fact that you could sense Jensen’s eyes on your ass didn’t help one bit.

‘’She does! That’s so cute, JJ.’’

‘’You can be her. I have one who looks like mommy, I’ll be her, ‘kay?’’

Your nausea was replaced by a pageant smile and a nod, and so you spent the night sharing longing stares with the dad and playing dolls with the daughter. It was a role that was never yours.

ILLICIT AFFAIR? JENSEN ACKLES SEEN ON THE BEACH WITH Y/N Y/L/N

‘’I can’t believe you did this to me, to our family,‘’ Danneel screamed exasperatedly as she threw her clothes in a bag and heart on the wall. Jensen just stood there, accepting the deserved fury. ‘’Ten years of my life, Jensen, and you just threw it away for a mistress! I gave up on my job to be a stay at home mom because you didn’t want a babysitter. I supported you in every moment. I loved you!’’

‘’I’m sorry…’’

‘’You don’t get to be sorry,” she howled, glaring at him with the hatred of an overthrown nation. She felt like he got to the podium and forgot to say her name. ‘’You let that woman get in my house, drink my wine, talk to my children…’’

Reflexively, he said, ‘’Our.’’

‘’Shut the fuck up! There’s no ours anymore, no us!’’ Her words had garnered a learned violence, much louder than the sound of the zipper closing her duffel bag. She threw the CC exclusive on the floor, holding onto the handle for dear life. He didn’t deserve to see her breaking, only her anger. ‘’You destroyed our family, you destroyed me!’’

He pleaded, unable to discern if it was for her or the guilt: ‘’Dee.’’

‘’I hope you’re happy. I hope you go to her, get her to sleep on our bed, and be happy for a month.’’ She gulped, pursing her lips. Her glossy eyes coupled with the pink hue of her lipstick brought back a treacherous memory of their wedding day. ‘’And then, I hope she cheats, like you did to me.’’

The next headline didn’t call it love.

Comment & reblog. Feedback is magic! Check my masterlist ♡

TAGS IN REBLOG!

WANNA BE TAGGED? SEND ME AN ASK/DM

[writingtoforgetreality]

Take It Easy - Little Movie Star Chapter Four (Jensen Ackles x Daughter!Reader)

[Actors-Masterlist], [Little Movie Star-Masterlist]

Previous Chapter / Next Chapter

Summary: The aftermath of the hate comments. Jensen explained that the future would not be easy if you had a public life. Bonding time with Danneel was appreciated & a revelation left Jensen with a plan for you.

Words: 2,022

Warnings: language, mentions of cyber bullying, bonding time, fluff, tiny bit of angst, fake social media posts (picture credits go to their rightful owners)

If you like my work & wanna support me: a coffee would be highly appreciated ❤

~2016~

Sunrise came sooner than anticipated. Wanting to procrastinate the talk with Jensen & Danneel, you slowly dragged yourself out of bed & went to the bathroom. Risking a look in the mirror was a big mistake. Your eyes were puffy from all the crying you did yesterday. Technically, you could go for sunglasses. Nope, you could not do that. You know who wears sunglasses inside? Blind people…& douchebags. Chuckling slightly at your own joke. Hopping in the shower real quick, you hoped the warm water could calm you down enough.

After putting on a comfortable outfit for the day, you took a deep breath & started walking to JJ’s room. It had become quite the routine for you. If you were up early enough, you stopped by her room & took her with you downstairs. Knocking softly & opening the door slowly, you saw her already awake, waiting for you to pick her up.

“Good morning, princess. Slept well?” she nodded eagerly & stretched out her arms.

“Let’s get to breakfast then.” smiling sweetly at her. Just for a second, you forgot all about last night & just lived in the moment. Oh, if it were that easy all the time…

Silent voices made you stop in your tracks. Eavesdropping was not something you usually did but you could not help yourself. Besides, you could tell that this conversation resembled around you.

“Maybe she hasn’t seen the comments yet.”

“Oh come on, Dee. Of course she has. I mean, our comment sections are filled with that bullshit.” Jensen was deeply hurt by what some of his fans were saying about you, after one single post.

“What should we do?” Danneel sighed.

“We talk to her.” that was when you coughed to bring the attention to yourself. They turned around & looked surprised by your sudden appearance. You set JJ down & crossed your arms over your chest.

“Sorry for listening in on you guys.” your eyes flickered down because deep down, you knew what you did was not okay.

“Hey, no, it’s fine. We wanted to talk to you anyway.” Jensen walked over to you, followed by Danneel.

“Please don’t listen to any of them, angel.” the nickname made your eyes shot up & when you looked at Danneel, you could feel the tears threatening to escape. Jensen could tell right away & wrapped his strong arms around your frame. You did not care about being vulnerable in front of them. Even though you were sure you would regret your actions in a few hours from now.

Breakfast was filled with conversation between the three of you. JJ & the twins were not understanding anything anyway & you were glad that they were too young to care about stupid comments made by anonymous people on the internet.

“I’m sorry, (Y/N).” Jensen’s voice was filled with disappointment. Though, you were not sure if it was directed at his fans or at his decision of making an Instagram post in the first place.

“None of this is your fault.” reassuring him quietly.

“You don’t deserve this. And we don’t want you to think that we’re not happy with you being here because that is bullshit. We love having you here.” Danneel’s hand found yours on the table & she gave you a little squeeze that put a small smile on your face. You were about to tell them something you had never admitted to anyone before. It was a big step for you & you were making yourself even more vulnerable in front of them. But they seemed genuinely concerned about you & you did not know why but you believed what they were saying. You just hoped your trust in them was not misplaced.

“It’s just…It’s not the first time I’ve heard something like that. A lot of the families I had been to previously had shared their opinions with me. I’m used to it, I don’t even know why it’s affecting me this much.” Jensen & Danneel shared a look with each other. Yes, they were happy that you were sharing a little bit of your past with them but what you shared broke their hearts. The worst thing was that they knew it was not the only thing that had happened to you. There had to be so much more that you still had not told them & they were scared what would come in the future.

“Can you promise me something?” Jensen waited until you met his eyes. “If you have thoughts like that, you come to us immediately. Because whatever your mind tries to tell you, it ain’t true. A lot of these comments are not only hurtful but also threatening. And I’ll put a stop to this right now.” he pulled out his phone & opened twitter. He showed Danneel & you the tweets before he hit send. Afterwards, they told you that comments similar to what you had read will continue to come at your way, simply because they were celebrities. After all, you were part of their family now & therefore your life would also be kind of public. As much as you would allow it anyway.

To some, these tweets might not be a lot but to you, they meant the world. After Jensen tweeted these, you grabbed your own phone, opened Instagram & reposted the picture you took yesterday.

You meant every single word because you did feel like a part of this family & why you still could not understand why they wanted you in the first place, you were more than happy that you were here still. A few weeks ago, you would have never thought to stay with them for so long. Yeah, they really meant it when they said they wanted you to be a part of them.

“I know exactly what we need!” Danneel stood up & you gave her a confused look. What was she planning?

“Girls-Day.” giving you a wink, she helped you out of your seat & gave you a light push, telling you to get dressed so you guys could go shopping. Danneel was aware that you were still slightly uncomfortable whenever you were alone with her but she wanted to change that & what better way than a shopping trip together?

The trip to the local mall was very much needed. Danneel warned you about possible paparazzi & the thought made you nervous. What if you did not look good? What if it gave the media something negative to report on? Danneel silenced your thoughts by dragging you into the first shop. Your shopping spree was successful & you came back with tons of shopping bags. Feeling bad because you did not pay for anything, Danneel assured you that it was no problem. Besides, you did not have a lot of clothing to begin with & she told you that you needed it. Also, she gave you permission to raid her closet any time you wanted. And who were you to decline such an offer?

“Successful much?” Jensen joked when the two of you entered the house, struggling with all the bags you were carrying. He gave you a hand & set some of the bags on the couch. Your mood had changed drastically if you were to compare yourself to a few hours prior.

“Jensen, can you help (Y/N) putting her stuff in her room?” Danneel grabbed some of her bags, definitely not nearly as many as were filled with your clothing.

After putting all of the bags on your bed, Jensen offered to help you putting them away in your closet & you thanked him. While the two of you got to work, he commented on some of the clothes that he was storing away & said that you & Danneel chose a lot of great looking things.

“So, how was today?” Jensen started a conversation & you were not in the mood to lie to him so you told him the truth, the entire truth for once.

“A rollercoaster of emotions. But it ended great.” shooting an honest smile his way, one, that he copied.

“I know it’d be easier if we weren’t popular & all that.” he sighed.

“Not all of it is bad, though. I mean, you get so much love on a daily basis.”

“True, but it can be frustrating, especially when family gets involved. Still happens with Danneel sometimes.”

“Really?”

“Oh yeah, you know, when people get jealous & all that.”

“I’m sorry.” a tight lipped smile was on your face.

“Nothing to be sorry for. This life has its perks, but it also has a lot of disadvantages. When you’ve been in this business for so long, you start blocking out the negative comments...Hey, that was the last piece, we did it.” raising his hand for you to give him a high-five.

Falling backwards on your bed, Jensen mimicked your actions, you let out a long, satisfied sigh. Today had been exhausting, both mentally & physically.

“Now that we know that you enjoy shopping…what else do you do for fun?”

“Um, I guess a lot of creative stuff. I like writing. Taking pictures. Drawing. Oh, this will sound ironic, but I actually like acting a lot.” that peaked his interest. He propped up his arm & laid his head on it.

“Really?”

“Yeah, I mean...Whenever I imagine playing a role, it helps me control my emotions.”

“Do you have any experience?” he curiously asked. Maybe you had acted somewhere before?

“God, no. Just because I like it doesn’t mean I’m good at it.” laughing shortly, then you continued. “It’s not like there were a lot of opportunities coming my way growing up.” shrugging, you enjoyed the comfortable silence that followed. Shortly after, Jensen walked out of your room, telling you to get some sleep.

A plan was starting to form in his head. He had connections & if acting really was something that you enjoyed, why not trying? The producers had the last word & then he could see if it really was something that was just a hobby to you. He had a feeling that you would surprise him, though. Dialing the next person that came to his mind, he wanted to hear his opinion.

“Hey, man. How are you?”

“Hi, Jared. I’m great, thanks.”

“How’s (Y/N) doing?”

“Danneel & her went shopping today. But look, she just told me something.”

The conversation went on for a while & Jared was on board with Jensen’s plan. Still, it was meant to stay secret for the time being. They planned a dinner in a few days from now. Just him, Danneel & you, joined by Jared & Gen. It would also be your first time meeting them. This decision was made shorty after you arrived at the Ackles’ house. Simply because you were freaking overwhelmed with the entire situation & had to get used to them at first. Now, it felt like a good time to introduce you to the Padalecki’s. At the dinner, they would tell you about their little plan. Before that could happen, though, Jensen had to make a few more phone calls to set everything up. Hopefully, you would not kill him after finding out. No, he could tell that you were being serious about this. You might not admit it but he noticed that your passion for acting was way bigger than you let on.

~to be continued~

Next Chapter 

Published (04/10/2021) by Cathy

Tags: @vicmc624​, @imaginationisgrowth, @stoneyggirl​, @alyispunk​, @thevelvetseries​, @multifandomlover121, @samsgirl93​, @supernatural3002​, @diabetes-03, @prettyybubblesintheair, @originalsoulcollector​, @vir-tual, @bellero​, @sergantbuckybarnes (let me know if you wanna be tagged <3)

[amwritingmeta]

15x20: Oh fuck it’s actually really good. Dammit Dabb.

So I slept. And waking up the first thought in my head was... but there is this open ending with them all in Heaven and Cas not a stated angel even, just a helper to Jack...

And then I felt the need to watch the episode again. Because of how I’ve said, perhaps not for always, but often enough, that this show of ours was never about Destiel, was never about Dean and Cas’ love story, and beginning to hope that the ending would be focused on them... it wasn’t fair. Not really. And I remembered reading somewhere that a big chunk of the internet accepted Cas’ death as final, and seeing posts to that effect and thinking LUDICROUS and NO WAY and knowing all along that it could all be denial on my part.

And oh boy was it. 

I know there were plenty of us who kept that hope alive, and I’m thankful for you, but I made myself believe that he’d be back because I couldn’t imagine he’d die like that, or that the love story would end unreciprocated like that. And I guess, in a way, it still did, BUT... in another way, it really didn’t. 

It’s not enough. Subtext is not the representation I’ve always hoped for, but it wasn’t just erased either. And we got as much as we could get, because obviously Dean being textually bi and us getting an I Love You out of him was just never going to get green lit by the studio.

I’ve always believed the writers would’ve gone there if allowed. I think Cas’ love declaration underlines that they would’ve. But they weren’t given the opportunity, and I’ll lament it until the end of time, but it is what is.

What we did get, though, is quite beautiful. No, listen, IT IS.

There’s the emotional substitute Miracle Dog, getting so much LOVE from Dean, which I know most of us all went the big awwww at, no matter what we thought of the rest of the ep. 

There’s the healthy way Dean is dealing with the loss of Cas, and of Jack, knowing that pain will never go away, and accepting it. Accepting it because he’s feeling worthy of moving on without them. He’s no longer attaching his self-image to the perceived failure of protecting others. He’s letting them go, believing that they may meet somewhere further down the road.

But looking at the finale for what it is, rather than for what I wanted it to be (cardinal sin omfg my emotions really ran away with me and I wish I could’ve been more level headed and come on here with this positivity and calm) (but) (no dice) (anyway) it’s just beautiful how Cas is in the background, not waiting, not really, because he’s busy preparing Heaven and fixing his home in ways that will actually mean peace AND freedom when the brothers are done.

Something Cas would not have been able to do if he’d not fallen in love with Dean. If he’d not gone through his journey. I mean. Those implications are highly satisfying. 

Last night all I could think, ALL I could think, was that it’s not ENOUGH.

But it has to be. Because it’s not dismissive. It’s not erasing anything. It’s the same subtextual thread we’ve always been pulling on, and it’s there for us to continue to pull on, and that’s a goddamn gift.

I wish that 15x18 hadn’t been quite so in our face “kill your gays” buuuuuuuut that’s if you’re surface watching, yeah? Cas isn’t dead, for starters, and everyone was, obviously, brought back when Jack took Chuck’s power, so even if it wasn’t visually established that Stevie and Charlie are back and thriving, it’s narrative fact that they must be. What it is, more than anything else, is what I read it as to begin with: a love letter to the love story, where we get the subtext of couples loosing each other so strongly stated that there’s no way we’re not meant to understand that Dean losing Cas is within that exact same context.

We didn’t get textual Destiel, but we did get the love story textually confirmed through Cas’ declaration, and we did get it subtextually confirmed, not hinted, subtextually confirmed through all those other couples losing each other, that the love story EXISTS there, on that level, for us. 

Oh guys I feel so sad that I was so SAD yesterday. Why didn’t I just take a breath?? Guys, guys, guys, there’s such BEAUTY.

And Jensen.

Jensen in how he played that death scene. Jensen who kept it so even, so gentle, so... brotherly. These brothers have been through hell. Dean ending this way... it’s a travesty, but it also means he meant to go to the place where he doesn’t have to hope to see Cas again--because he will see Cas again.

And why didn’t Cas come right back to Dean once he was out of the Empty, why did he go off with Jack to fix Heaven?

I would say that it’s another underlining of Cas’ independence, and this his entire focus isn’t Dean, but, of course, I would assume the thought of Dean is ever present, and the rearranging of Heaven is as much about making sure Dean gets that freedom, as well as that peace, once he’s done as it is about Cas simply not being able to stand for souls being trapped in their memories anymore. Cas knows how to fix Heaven. I mean... that’s a fucking gorgeous and highly satisfying ending to his individual arc. And he’s with Jack!

Like. I mean. That implication that Cas is fixing Heaven with Dean at the back of his mind is quite head-exploding to me. And yeah, sure, that’s how I’m interpreting it, but all the ingredients for that delicious pie is left right there for us in this ending.

What about the legacy issue? What about found family? What about Dean finding happiness in death? What about Dean opening himself up to love?

Yeah, it’s not without issues, depending on how we interpret these things. Do I believe Dabb set out to write an offensive, horrifying, deeply problematic ending to this show and pretty much hand it over to the side of this fandom that has always been the... well, shall we say, less stabile? 

No. I kept saying yesterday that I just didn’t understand what happened, I didn’t understand why our writers room would choose THIS ending, I couldn’t fit the pieces together. That was on me, not on them. Get me?

Interpretation is deeply subjective. It’s personal. And it’s tainted. Always tainted, guys, and there’s no way around that. It’s not perfect and it’s not absolute and all the writers can hope for is that their core message will get across strongly enough to avoid misunderstanding.

I misunderstood the intention yesterday because my interpretation was tainted by what I wanted and felt I needed from this narrative.

For years I’ve refused to put expectation on the story because I know what that does to one’s perspective. It’s futile to engage with hopes and wishes on a deeper level because the show will never deliver exactly what you want. It’s delivered stuff in the ballpark enough times for me to dance alongside it, but to place so much expectation on this finale was just... oh man. Bad. 

I take full responsibility. :)

What about the legacy issue?

The legacy is that you live the best life you can and you end up in happiness, with the people you care about. You LIVE. Nothing about Dean’s death is prescribing dying to get what you want. We have it established that Dean is not suicidal in any way, that he’s mentally stabile and that he’s carrying on without Cas, even though he thinks about him. Not living would make the sacrifice pointless.

What about found family?

Found family was meant to be a part of this ending, but due to COVID (I’m assuming along with everyone) we didn’t get a collection of oldies and goodies at the Roadhouse. We got a father figure to signal the father/son thread that this finale was pulling on, a thread always tied so tightly around Dean and Sam and underlined for us in this episode. The codependency finally broken because they were ready to let each other go. Not forever, because that would’ve been tragic, but for now.

What about Dean finding happiness in death?

The implications of Dean having to die to be happy are quite dark, I know that, but he was never going to hang it up. Not entirely, right? He would never be able to rest on Earth. And he’s always afraid. So instead of spending a lifetime alone, growing into a crusty Bobby (who lost the love of his life too early too), Dean got to go to the place where his happiness actually is. He got to go where Cas is.

I mean, that’s my interpretation here, but rather than set both brothers up with a love life and families and all that, we got a Dean who’s lost the love of his life and is dealing with that loss as best as he can, but who is also ready to go when it’s his time. He wasn’t expecting it to be right then, that day, and he says as much, but he’s ready. As long as Sam is ready to let him go. And Sam isn’t, but he does, and Sam deals with that loss, and finds his way into life and living and loving and happiness in a way that Dean simply wouldn’t have been able to. Because he lost the love of his life.

And Dean waited for Sam to show because of course he would. Sam was the only thing missing: Cas, and Jack, and everyone else Dean has ever loved and cared about, were already in Heaven. For the show to go on, Sam had to return too.

Hope.

That hopeful ending that I, and so many, many of us, have always wanted. Sure, everyone’s DEAD, which, you know, bummer, but they are at peace, they are together, and they are done sacrificing, bleeding and dying. Isn’t that remarkable? Isn’t that the greatest reward? Love and happiness and togetherness. Forever!

And for this fandom, we got what we hoped we’d get, right? An ending open enough for us to keep returning to this narrative over and over and over.

Let me formally apologise for the despair of yesterday. For all of you still feeling it, I send you so much love. Know I understand, I honestly do, but I hope, perhaps, some of these words will offer a sliver of comfort.

So, this is first impression based on second watch of 15x20 positivity. Let me know if anything hits right or hits wrong and let’s talk. <3

[thetiredstuff]

Hello! I saw your post about 15.18 and you said something about /knowing/ Cas comes back in ep20? I could really use the hope right now, so can I ask why you're so sure? (I was devastated yesterday because a lot of the things MIsha said kinda sounded like yes, this was it, that was actually Cas's last scene, even in the private one-on-ones.)

Hi!! I don’t have definitive proof but overall the consensus in the meta circles (I am not a meta writer to be clear) and just the Tumblr corner I am in is pretty clear that Misha will be in Cas. It’s the small things (yet this is turning out to be fucking long so buckle up):

Finale: Misha apparently said he was in the finale (however I don’t remember this)  

Contract: Misha said during a meet & greet all the way in the beginning of season 15 that he signed on for 15 episodes. Right now as of episode 18, he has only been in 14, so there should be one more.   

Another reason: the bury your gays trope. Bury your gays is such an overused and insulting trope and it is extremely, extremely fucking lazy. It’s awful. It is a well-known trope within fandoms, so it has to be extremely well-known within the small-knit writers' units in Hollywood. Don’t get me wrong, there are enough who still go for it. But I doubt Bobo would ever write an episode with that trope because at the end of the day it overshadows a character’s entire arc. If you go with the bury your gays trope, you sully the entire story that character has gone through and you eventually overshadow their coming out. Since Dabb took over, the queer subtext within Supernatural definitely was kicked up a notch due to the writers he surrounded himself with. A while back, a fan gifted Dabb a book about Destiel and he apparently kept that book because when a writers’ assistant came in as a new hire, she posted a picture of that book with the caption along the lines of “required reading”. Point is: They’ve taken Destiel extremely seriously. They've fought for years to get the queer subtext through and to get it as outspoken as it was in this season. Because this season’s plotline A is allllll about Dean and Cas’ relationship. You don’t go through that entire fight, only to end up with bury your gays overshadowing all your efforts. Another important thing to remember is that Misha had his online panel yesterday. He asked a fan what the response to the episode was and, in particular, was concerned about the bury your gays trope. He is an outspoken ally of the LGBTQ+ community, I doubt he’d be happy to contribute to such lazy and awful writing that hurts the LGBTQ+ community. It also sounded like both Jensen and Misha had more of a say in Cas’ love confession than you’d expect. Misha even said that he was concerned that if Jensen was against it, they wouldn’t go through with it. That’s a lot of leeway for two actors who should normally just act out what’s being written. I doubt Misha would go for it, if this was Cas’ entire end. For instance, The Magicians season 4 (I think) went all bury your gays and the backlash was huge. I don’t watch it but from what I gathered even the actor who played the buried gay character spoke out against the plotline.  

Just ending: Honestly, the way we know how Bobo and Dabb have run Supernatural the past few years. They are very much about recognizing the hero and going against all odds. They’ve poked fun at Game of Thrones’ finale (I don’t know if you’ve seen it but it was a fucking sad and depressive shit show and mostly awful for the majority of its characters). Bobo has even said on Twitter that GOT is totally different than SPN. They believe in a fit-for-a-hero and deserving ending. It won’t necessarily be the happy ending we want but it’ll be a fit and deserving ending. I’m sure of that. In order for it to be deserving and fit, Cas needs to be alive.  

Dean: Even if we didn’t have all that, just look at Dean as a character. In season 13, when Cas was killed, Dean was shown grieving as a widower and even killed himself, he was perfectly fine dying. He gave up because Cas was dead.  You could say that he lost a lot of people then which is true but Sam saw the major shift in Dean when Cas came back: “It’s good to see you smile.” And Dean said it himself “Well, I said I needed a big win. We got Cas back. That’s a pretty damn big win.”  We then had 15x09, which Bobo our Destiel king wrote and really hammered it home. In that episode, we saw Dean losing Cas again (momentarily) in Purgatory. The thought of losing Cas again made him fall down on his knees and pray to Cas not even knowing if he could hear it, while simultaneously tearing up. But more significantly, in that same episode, Chuck is torturing Sam and showing him the future. In one of those flash-forwards, we see Dean trying to plead with Sam to just give up, that hunting monsters is an uphill battle. He shouts at Sam over the fact that he had to bury Cas in the Ma’lak Box. That episode hammered home twice, in the present as well as in the future, that Dean gives up when he loses Cas. Dean loses his will to live when he loses Cas and that results in him killing himself due to giving up.  So that is three times within three seasons that they showed Dean losing Cas and the fallout it had on Dean. Now add episode 18 and that is four times in three seasons that they showed Dean losing Cas. Now that entire mini-essay I just wrote, was all to circle back to my fourth point: They are going for the opposite of the GOT finale. No doom and gloom here. In order to not have a doom and gloom ending, Cas needs to be with Dean. Because if Cas isn’t with Dean, Dean gives up and kills himself doing so. If Dean kills himself, Sam isn’t gonna be happy (obviously), and neither will Jack. So by Dean losing Cas, the entirety of the main leads will be unhappy. That is not the ending Bobo and Dabb are writing.   

Misha: What you’re referring to about Misha’s panel, i completely understand that but and that’s really important to remember, he can’t spoil the following two episodes. What’s one thing that Supernatural is known for (besides being gay). It’s that nobody ever dies. If he would say outright that Cas doesn’t come back, he spoils that we won’t be seeing him anymore. If Cas does come back, he can’t spoil that either. The only thing Misha did was being fucking doom and gloomy. I love him but he needs to wind back the depressive shit.  For over a year, he kept it a secret that Cas was gonna confess his love to Dean, which he knows would be a massive relief to a lot of fans. Instead of spoiling that, Misha gave the most depressive answers for that entire year and honestly brought a loooooot of fans down because it sounded like he was looking at an awful ending. So now he’s again going all doom and gloom but I’m not falling for it.   

Dabb and Bobo both recognize what Misha has done for this show: keeping it on the air for this long (obviously not alone). They wouldn't write him off for the last two episodes.   

Oh one more thing: if you look at Dean and Cas’s arc it’s repeating itself:

Season 12: Cas and Dean are a married couple who bicker, towards the end Cas chooses Jack and Dean is angry, then Cas dies

Season 13: Dean is a widower, Cas comes back, Dean acts like he is the personification of happiness when Cas comes back (he was so cute in “Tombstone”)

Season 14: Gonna be honest it kinda felt like maybe someone higher up said to dial back the outspoken Dean and Cas. End of season 14 (which was after it was known that s15 was gonna be the last), Dean and Cas are having a dispute again. 

Season 15: Further (marital) dispute, Cas dies (again lol), and now what .... They’re recycling what they did in season 12 and part of season 13 to tell Dean and Cas’ relationship in season 15. I can’t blame them, it makes for great storytelling. All of that is to say: Cas needs to come back and do season 15′s “Tombstone”, which will be the finale. However, this time the higher-ups aren’t gonna hold them back. (I hope)

This was long jesus hahaha

[jawritter]

Twelve Days Of Christmas

Chapter 8

Summary: Dean never realized that Y/N missed Christmas until he turned off an annoying Christmas song on the radio on the way home from a hunt, now he will make it his personal mission to give her the Christmas he misses so much, and if he plays his cards right, maybe he will give her what he has wanted to give her for so many years, himself.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Written For: @spnchristmasbingo​​​​​​​

Square Field: Sam

Word Count: 1413

Warnings: Fluff, mild language.

A/N: This is to help me catch up on my SPN Christmas Bingo card lol Chapter 9 will post tomorrow! I knew chapter will post every day until Christmas! I know I’m insane lol. This is a real time fic collection and all mistakes will be my own! Please do not copy my work! Hope you all enjoy these!!

**SERIES MASTERLIST**  **MASTERLIST**   **BECOME A PATREON**

You take a deep breath and wipe your hands on the apron that covers your flannel and jeans. Delicious smells of Turkey and all the fixing were filling the cabin now gave off a warm and rich atmosphere to accent the twinkling Christmas tree and decorations that Dean and yourself had spent most of the day yesterday putting up throughout the cabin. 

 You give the place one last look around, making sure everything was as it should be before Sam and Eileen arrive later today. 

The snow had stopped yesterday, and the snowplows came through late last night, clearing the roads and making them passable again for everyone. The sun had even come out today, and it was a good deal warmer than it had been since you had arrived, but it was still cold enough to require the fireplace to be going in the living room, adding to the oven to keep the little cabin warm. 

Dean had worked alongside you all morning, helping you cook and helping you get the cabin clean and presentable. He seemed excited to have Sam come over, though both of you were a little worried about what exactly he deemed so important that he’d have to drive all this way to talk to the two of you about. 

“Damn Baby it smells awesome in here,” Dean said, stepping into the small kitchen and wrapping his arms around your middle, giving you a peck on the cheek.

Dean had been a lot more cuddly since he’d kissed you yesterday morning. Neither of you discussed it. Neither of you felt the need to. One thing you did know was that a line had been breached between you, and there was no going back. He even slept with his arm slung loosely over your hip last night. Something he hadn’t done up until this point. 

“Thank you, but you had a hand in that too Winchester,” you tease, turning in his arms to face him, hoping he’d lean down and capture your lips in his again.

You couldn’t get enough of him. It was sickening how giddy he made you every time he slipped by and decided to brush his lips over yours, but you didn’t care, not even a little bit. He made you feel things you never thought as a hunter you’d ever get to feel, and you were going to enjoy this, however long it lasted. 

“That was mostly you, baby girl. I just washed dishes and cut up vegetables,” he said, pecking your lips again before letting go of you so that you could go and check on the little turkey you were cooking. 

Day 6 had to be the most exciting day yet. Dean had planned on taking you sledding today, but this brought back an air of nostalgia you never realized you were missing. Cooking Christmas dinner for family was something your mom did every year, and it was something you always dreamed of doing when you had your own family as a child. 

Dean and Sam were your family, as close to one as you would ever have anyway, and this is something you had always wanted to do for them. 

“Sammy should be here any minute,” Dean said, checking the door again and peaking through the blinds. 

“Give him some time babe, that was a lot of snow that fell over the last few days.”

You didn’t even have time to pull the turkey out of the oven when Dean announced excitedly, “they’re here,” before opening the door and walking out to meet them. 

You pull the apron over your head and make your way to the door, watching as Dean greets his little brother before reaching to hug Eileen. He was happier than you had ever seen him. He was smiling and laughing as they made their way up the driveway towards the little cabin, you can’t remember the last time Dean laughed like this. It made you smile just seeing him this happy, this content. 

“Hey Y/N,” Sam greeted you as he stepped inside, Eileen doing the same. “You guys have been busy.” 

Sam looks around slack-jawed at your handy work along with Dean’s as he walks through the cabin. Dean smiled proudly, wrapping his arm around you, giving a peck on the cheek as he followed his little brother over the couch.

“So, you guys are a thing now?” Eileen asks Dean, raising an eyebrow as she took a seat next to Sam. Dean smiled up at you as you sat down next to Dean, his hand automatically reaching for yours. 

“Well, we haven’t really put a title on it, but if she will have me…”

“You couldn’t get rid of me if you tried Winchester now,” you tease him, and you swore you saw him blush. Sam saw it too. 

“Oh God, Dean I thought you weren’t into chick flick moments. For the past few days you’ve been literally living in a Hallmark movie,” Sam teased, earning a scowl from Dean. 

“Leave him be Sam!” Eileen scolds. 

“So, what’s got you two love birds driving all the way out here just to tell us something, you know I’m not gonna be able to eat with the elephant in the room, so spill,” Dean says, directing the conversation away from the two of you. 

“Dean, you could eat any time, and it wouldn’t faze you,” Sam says sarcastically. “I don’t see any reason to make them wait any longer though, we’ve made them wait all night as it is?” 

Eileen grinned widely as Sam signed to her. 

“Oh boy, I’m not gonna be an uncle am I?” Dean asks, shifting nervously in his seat. The man had fought monsters most people wouldn’t dream of, but here he was, getting nervous about his baby brother having a baby.

“No! Nothing like that!” Sam exclaims. “Show them, Baby.”

Eileen proudly holds out her left hand with a small, vintage-looking diamond ring sitting snugly on her ring finger. “We’re getting married,” she tells the two of you excitedly.

Dean’s jaw hits the floor, and you squeal excitedly, jumping up and hugging Eileen as Dean gets to his feet and does the same to Sam. 

“Congratulations man! It’s about damn time!” 

“Well, like you said, she knows life. Chuck’s gone, I’m not getting any younger, we’re back to hunting monsters and not fighting the end of the world, I figured why wait?”

Dean smiled almost like a proud father as he looked at his baby brother. For the first time, he felt like he could let Sam go. All these years he had protected him. It was his job from a young age, but seeing how happy the two of them were, he knew it was time to step back and let Eileen take his place. 

Before anyone knew it dinner was devoured, the wine was drank, laughs and memories were made. Eileen had even brought you and Dean a Christmas present since the two of you were staying at the cabin through Christmas, and it was time to say goodbye. 

You hugged them both, allowing Dean to walk out to the car with them alone, going to finish the last little bit of clean up in the kitchen with your heart fuller than you could remember in a long time. 

“You look happy Dean,” Sam said after helping Eileen climb back into the car. “I mean, really happy.” 

Dean smiled a little and nodded. Looking back towards the cabin, seeing you in the kitchen window wiping down the counter. “She makes me happy.”

“It looks good on you,” Sam said, opening the driver’s side door. “SHE looks good on you.”

“Bye Sammy,” Dean said as his brother gave him a nod and shut the door before backing down the driveway and off into the dark, going to a hotel for the night he assumed before driving home to the bunker tomorrow when it was a little safer out. 

Dean’s eyes traveled back to you, and you smiled at him through the fog stained window. Sam found his person, and Dean was more and more convinced every day he’d found his. Now it was just a matter of taking that step. 

Tonight as you climbed into bed together, Dean tucking you safely into his arms after kissing you goodnight, he felt whole, for the first time since he’d been pulled out of Hell he felt whole. Sure, he’d lost some damn good people he’d never get back along the way, but you were putting him slowly back together again, little bit by little bit.

Forever Tags: 

@deandreamernp​

@forgetthisbull​

@miraclesoflove​

@deanwanddamons​​​ 

@rvgrsbrns​​ 

@chevyharvelle​​ 

@onethirstyunicorn​​ 

@i-love-superhero​​ 

@lyss-dw79​ 

@magssteenkamp​ 

@lemondropirwin​ 

@squirrelnotsam​ 

@hobby27​ 

@spnbaby-67​  

@mrsjenniferwinchester​ 

@defenderrosetyler​ 

@screechingartisancashbailiff​ 

@thecreatiivecorner​  

@vicmc624​ 

@busy-bee-angel-misska​ 

@justanotherwinchester​

@brilovesdeanwinchester​

@idksupernatural​

@lyarr24​ 

@amandamdiehl​ 

@miraclesoflove​ 

 @emoryhemsworth​ 

@dean-winchesters-gardian-angel​ 

@softsebastian 

@tatted-trina6​

@anaelsbrunette​ 

@hayleeharling​   

@flamencodiva​ 

@coldmuffinbanditshoe​ 

@dirty-pan-goblin​ 

@itmejado​ 

@supernatural3002​ 

@teresa-67​ 

@thoughts-and-funnies​ 

@hearteyes-j2​

@miss-nerd95​ 

@writers-whirlwind​

@peaches007​

@bobbie3939​

Jensen and Dean’s Babes

@akshi8278​

@love-jackles-37-blog​

@supernatural-bellawinchester​

@bobbie3939​

Dean’s Babes

@forgetthisbull​

Series Tag List: @440mxs-wife​

[theyarebothgunshot]

sighhhh </3 🐞

welcome to people talk about gish in my inbox: part 3

I can't be the only one having Thoughts about Jensen's arms right now, I know so does Misha - tea anon

oh trust me you are not the only one AND YOU WERE RIGHT lmao he did mention the arms. we love to see it

I get your concerns Rose but I truly think they just miss each other that much. I trust they'll be fine. But I understand you - tea anon, handing a cup of tea

i agree actually i have had some time to think about it and i take it back lmao

Heyyyyyy bestie, I'm so sorry and I'm fully telling on myself here but Jensen and Misha talking about the gray in their beards fully killed me I'm weak, send help

ME TOO I KEEP SAYING IT BUT THEY WERE SO SOFT

Listen I need somebody to ask them about Ojai - tea anon

seriously we need to discuss this lmao

My... My Twitter timeline did a thing where it put a tweet about Jensen's arms and my friend's unrelated tweet about how something's so gay next to each other.

Also Cockles thank you for being such sweethearts.

Sending all the love to Rose and Gunshots nation - tea anon

don't you just love it when the universe lines up like that

WHY ARE THEY LATE AGAIN THEY CAN'T HAVE DISTANCE SEX - tea anon

lmao if only

turns out i can make it cause the thing i had going ended early, i can't wait to see two old men flirt for 30 minutes <3 🐞

this did not age well rip im so sorry <3

that damn sniper got the better of us again, like i’m actually sad :( will we ever know peace? the answer is always no lmao - 🦋 anon

i feel you babe, i felt sad too :( but at least we got to see them flirt!!

Ok so there's a theory that Jensen... misunderstood the timezones.

Ok anyway since I'm here I want to say that Gunshots absolutely doesn't have to post this but I want to give you my take on the opening ceremony situation. J2 stans are going to give us hell for this since it seemed Jensen and Misha didn't realize some things about each other but I think it was something different - I think it was the thing that Rose herself once pointed out about how they like to pretend not to know some things about each other to seem more... distant. The same goes for having not seen each other for a year which could be true but I liked our theory that they actually did. And from what I've heard about that opening (I couldn't see it myself unfortunately) it could be it.

Also a city thing could go for Misha moving a lot, we don't know how often he does that.

But also (bear with me) could be them having their downs during pandemic but I really think they're going to get through it or get it all back.

Also that comment about going grey seems really really inch resting. We've had that. We've had them bein flirty today. We've had Cockles posting at suspicious times. We've had them using the exact wording. We've had them right now wanting to see each other and looking really happy. We've had an interesting reaction about that city thing. We've had Jensen coming to GISH and being an assignment AGAIN, and I don't think Mish would pull this off if they lost touch. We've had them support each other on social media. We've had "Mish. Dee.". We've had an anniversary and I have doubts if they would do that if they felt fallout coming. It all will come together. Trust me. I think we're okay.

I think they'll be okay.

Rose sorry for bringing this back to you - tea anon, sleepy.

thank you for this!! <333 i agree and i really needed to read this

totally basking in the (frankly absurd) level of amused fondness in jensen’s, “ohhh hey, there he is!” — 💖 anon

oh my god yes its so fucking cute!!!

also!! as i was (re)watching the cockles zoom i noticed that the way misha frames his questions is so telling, in a: “here’s this info that i already know, now let me turn it into a question so others can know about it too” kinda way. at first it makes it seem like they haven’t spoken much until you notice that misha starts most of his questions with a statement (like “so you are” rather than “so are you” etc) — 💖 anon

you know what THATS SUCH A GOOD POINT THANK YOU

The more I think about the Cockles panel from yesterday, the more I love it. We got 25min of their small talk and being cute to each other. I have been blessed, my crops have been watered etc.

I would rather have this than a very rushed Q&A and have them struggle to answer things that God knows if they can already answer. Btw if they've rethought that in the last minute, I don't blame them AT ALL. And if it was just Jackles confused by timezones then it's honestly SO freaking funny. Pray harder 4 Jensen, y'all.

Anyway it was a blast and the first of many to come in future cons. Hope you and the other anons liked GISH as much as I did, I'm in it for life now. -🌻

honestly you are right, im gonna rewatch it after answering this and i am sure im gonna love it even more the second time. im so glad you enjoyed gish!! <333

[not-a-perfect-metaphor]

First off, love your blog!! What are your favorite J2 family moments? Like for me it’s Jensen telling how Tom misses him so much and wants to facetime (this is such a telling story OMG) or when Tom says Hi Dad and Jensen says Hi Thomas back. Also Jared and JJ!! There was this really frickin cute video of him biking her around. I have this headcanon that she was named after him. I actually think her nickname Jaybird is Jared’s too, because I’ve read so many fics where Jensen calls him that.

*leaps up and down excitedly*

You don’t even understand how thrilled I am that you just gave me an excuse to ramble on about this, because as many of you likely know by now, this is one of my all-time favorite J2 topics!

Hooray!! 😀🥰

Obviously there are so, SO, SOOO many beautiful J2 family moments, far too many for me to even halfway cover all of my favorites, but please feel free to add your own favorites (anyone who wants to), and I’ll try to cram as many of mine in here as I can!

(I can’t include images/GIFs for each one sadly, but everything I’ll be referencing has already been posted somewhere on my page in full, so let me know if you need me to tag you in anything!)

••••••••••

Okay, *cracks knuckles*.

I’m beginning this with a few of the many trillions of times the Js have actually just flat-out referred to themselves and their children as one family, because that seems like a lovely place to start!

1- Jared: “He knows, because we went there as a family.”

2- Jensen: “We got to spend some time with our family yesterday, and we let the kids run around- (...)”

3- Jared: “We didn’t get to see our family last week, but that being said, our kids get to see their parents doing something that they love.”

And along the same vein:

4- Jensen: “We have our on-set life and our home-life, and those blend together kind of seamlessly. As far as keeping the reminder of who we are, we have pretty good reminders...each other.”

^ Their one combined life though, you guys. ‘Our on-set life and our home-life.’ Not lives. Nope. Their one life. Always my favorite thing.

Of course I also need to include some of the Daddies-to-all-six-kids-isms, because what would this post even be without those???

(and I’ll pop in with at least a few more of the GIFs later)

5- Jared (to Jensen): “We’ll have to give the talk to our kids-”

(back to audience again) “-I’m hoping Jensen will do it.”

Jensen: “It’s gonna be blunt!”

Then the most hilarious part-

Jared: “We speak like adults around our children. We don’t say ‘tee-tees’ or ‘hoo-haws’ or whatever. We call them what they’re called.”

Jensen (smirkety-smirking): “What are they called, Jared?”

Mmhm. Do tell, Jared! 😉

And after that was the whole thing where they were like wait...how are we even going to give the talk to our kids when WE don’t even know where babies come from??

Turkey baster *ahem*

Jared’s working theory at the time according to Jensen was storks.

-which reminds me of:

Jared: “The boys have started asking where babies come from. I try to distract them. I’m like ‘look a raccoon!’”

Jensen: “No you don’t! You send them to me!”

6- Jensen talking about what he was excited to teach his kids and saying that he was looking forward to teaching his daughter sports in general and Tom specifically golf...as soon as he managed to teach Jared!

(It was just the two kiddos at the time, dccon-15)

7- THIS! (one of my favorites as well so I figured I’d better throw it in!)

Jared (to Jensen): “Hi, Dad!”

JJ: “Goodbye, goodbye!”

JJ: “Bye, Dad!”

Jensen: “Bye, JJ!”

8- Jared (talking about a bad dream Jensen had that really stuck with him about the end of SPN and how he, Jared, noticed how upset Jensen was while they were on set): “He kinda seemed just shook up. I was like ‘is it something with the kids??’”

9- Jensen: “The hits just keep coming with six kids.”

10- I personally love this particular adorable story:

11- Jared talking about having one and a half kids back when it was just Thomas and almost Justice (the half).

12- Both Js raising their hands as men who have daughters even though at the time Jared only had two boys according to the general public.

And I’m just gonna throw in another handful of random favorites to finish this so I don’t end up posting a novel here!

13- When Tom said “Hi, Dad!” and both Js simultaneously responded with “Hi, Tom!”

^ Again I agree with you! Another favorite we share! ❤️

14- Jared: “Tom said a word in music class that started with an ‘f’ and ended with an ‘uck.’”

Jensen: “Wonder where he heard that?” *pauses* “-me.”

Yep! Sounds about right! 😏

15- This little slice of perfection:

16- Jared talking about carrying JJ through the Natural History Museum with Jensen.

17- Jared (to Jensen): “Don’t worry about getting too old. We’re raising the next generation of hunters.”

18- Jensen: “Happy Father’s Day to all the great men out there, including my boy Jared.”

19- When Jared was in England without Jensen, and he texted Jensen saying that he needed to send a video because Tom missed him so much.

Jensen: “So I sat down and made a little video for Tom and sent it to him.”

20- UMMMM. UM. This will never not be the most precious thing for some reason.

Now, since I have to end this somewhere (tragically), I might as well pick here, but thank you thank you for the wonderful ask, and I’m sure as soon as I post this I’ll immediately think of twenty or thirty more things that I should have included, but...

-until next time! 💕

Oh and P.S: I promise you I am getting to the rest of the asks! 😊 I had to bump this one to the top just because I needed to bask in some J2-Daddies stuff this morning to cheer myself up.

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Won’t You Stay (Part 13)

Summary: The reader heads to her parents house to find out exactly how the movie is back on...

Masterlist

Square: Free Space

Pairing: Jensen x Director!reader

Word Count: 4,500ish

Warnings: mature (language, angst, post domestic abuse, self-doubts, smut (protected sex))

A/N: Please enjoy! Also written for @spnkinkbingo​​​

_____

“Hey,” said Jensen twenty minutes later, pulling open the front door of the house before you were all the way up the steps. 

“Hey. What are you doing here?” you asked, slipping inside and setting your shoes and coat down by the door.

“I came over to get to the bottom of what happened,” he said. “I can’t believe your dad would ever purposefully hurt you so I went to look for myself.”

“Obviously something happened,” you said. “The movie is back on, with me still directing and acting.”

“I know. I was there when your dad made the call to the studio heads,” he said. “Come on. Your parents are in his office.”

“I’m not exactly in the mood to talk to him,” you said.

“Y/N. For me,” he said, holding out a hand. You slipped yours into it and went down a hall to the right, your dad sitting on one end of the couch in there, your mom sipping on a drink as she stared out the window. “Alright. I got her here. It’s up to you at this point,” said Jensen.

You sat down on the opposite couch, crossing your arms. 

“Play nice,” he said. “I’ll be with your brother and sister if you need me.”

Jensen left and you glared at your dad, your mom sighing.

“You had a hell of a day,” said your mom. You looked over to the fireplace, pursing your lips. “Your father told me about Logan and while Jensen didn’t say anything while he bitched out your father, it was enough to fill in the gaps.”

“I can’t believe you told her,” you mumbled.

“I’m your father. I don’t keep secrets from your mother, not ones like that,” he said.

“I kept your fucking secrets,” you shot back.

“Enough,” said your mom. “Dad was right to tell me. It makes so much more sense why you’ve been the way you have the past few years.”

“He had no right to share that.”

“I’m your mother. I have every right,” she said.

“I’m not your child,” you said, your dad staring at you. “I was baggage you had to deal with.”

“Tough shit, kid,” she said, storming over and getting in your face. “You are exactly like your father and I know all of his tells so don’t try that crap with me. You’re my daughter so deal with it.”

You blinked and swallowed, looking to your dad.

“You and your father are going to attend a therapy session together,” she said.

“No way. I-” you said, the look on her face stopping you.

“It is a decision that we along with Jensen made,” she said.

“He’s my boyfriend for all of five seconds and he gets to make those kind of decisions for me now?”

“Your boyfriend for all of five seconds loves you. You have no idea that he is exactly what you need right now, maybe what you need the rest of your life. You know how I know that? You were that person for your father. You are going, you both are, and you are going to talk about what you both went through, together. Understand me?” she said.

“Dad could have talked to me before ruining the movie,” you said.

“He regrets that,” she said. “He did something stupid and he was not expecting that reaction from your bosses. So after your fight, he came home, very upset, and by the time he’d calmed down, your boyfriend was here and starting another one. Your father did not mean to hurt you. He made a mistake and he went and fixed it. Parents are not perfect, Y/N. All he wanted was to make sure you were okay. He saw you spinning out yesterday with all of the new work. He handled it wrong but he just wanted to get you some help directing, not shut the whole thing down. He made a mistake. It’s all it was.”

“Why isn’t he talking?” you said, your dad staring down at the floor.

“I don’t know. He’s barely said a word since he got off the phone with the bosses. Neither one of you is leaving this room until you talk through this,” she said. She went past towards the door and you stared off out the back window. You felt a hand touch the top of your head and a few fingers fix some hairs. “I love you, sweetie.”

“I know, mom,” you said, barely above a whisper. “I’m sorry. I love you too.”

“It’s okay. Work this out. Please,” she said. The door shut after a moment and your dad turned his head, staring at the gas fireplace.

“Dad. Say something. You’re freaking me out,” you said.

“Don’t worry, kiddo,” he said quietly.

“Too late for that,” you said. 

“I had no idea they would pull that. None. I thought they would send down help, not give an ultimatum. All I wanted to do was get you some help. I never would have done it if I thought they’d do what they did,” he said. “You were right to yell at me. I deserved it.”

“You didn’t deserve all of it,” you said.

“Yes, I did.”

“Dad, what I said about my birth mom-”

“Maybe you’re right. Maybe it was just me she treated like that. She was a kind girl to everyone else. Maybe it was just me she hated. Maybe you would have been better off with her,” he said.

“You honestly think I would have been better off with a woman that abused her boyfriend? With a woman that’s family didn’t want a thing to do with me?” you asked.

“Maybe you would have been better off with anyone besides me. You wound up just like me. Just like me. The worst things that happened to me happened to you too and maybe if you had normal parents, got adopted, that would have never had happened,” he said. “Maybe you would have stayed safe and had a mom your whole life and you wouldn’t have had to deal with me and all the crap that ever-”

“Dad. Shut up,” you said as you stood and took a seat next to him. “You were the only person that ever wanted me. It’s my life. You can’t protect me from every bad thing in it. I should have said something about Logan but I didn’t. I was scared and embarrassed. You can’t keep me in a bubble away from the world though. It can suck out there but it’s not all bad.”

“You know I’ve never had someone simultaneously ask if I was okay while ripping me a new one,” he said with a dry laugh. “Jensen’s a good boyfriend.”

“He’s a good friend,” you said.

“Good. You figured that part out, them being your best friend,” he said.

“Dad, can we just forget today happened?” you asked. “I’m sorry I said that stuff to you. I don’t want to think about it anymore.”

“I’m sorry too,” he said. “I should have talked to you first.”

“It’s okay,” you said. You rested your head on his shoulder and he pulled you into a hug, the two of you staying like that for quite a while. The door finally opened and you both looked up, Jensen and your mom walking in.

“Told you,” she said with a smirk to Jensen. “Y/N, why don’t you stay the night. It’s pretty late.”

“You guys okay?” asked Jensen.

“Yeah. We’re good now,” said your dad.

“I knew you two just needed to sit in a room together and talk,” said your mom. “Come on, up to bed the both of you. I don’t want anymore drama in this house.”

“We’ll do our best,” said your dad.

You paused by the bottom of the stairs, giving Jensen a hug as he headed for the front door. 

“Thanks,” you said.

“I didn’t do anything,” he said, kissing your cheek. “You look better.”

“I am,” you said. He stared at you and you saw him smile.

“You gotta do it still,” he said, your head cocking. “Something you like about yourself? Practice.”

“Oh,” you said, leaning your head on his chest. “I like how quick I picked up that stunt today.”

“Alright. We’ll count it,” he chuckled. “I’ll swing by work around lunchtime, check on you. I assume you’re going to have a busy few days.”

“Yeah,” you said. “But I’d rather have that than the alternative.”

“I’ll bring something by for you and your staff,” he said.

“You’re too sweet,” you said.

“Jensen,” said your dad, leaning over the balcony after he got up there. “It’s late. You can stay the night too if you’d like. I’d prefer she had some company tonight.”

“You don’t have to. I’ll be okay,” you said. “I took up most of your day already.”

“Are you ever going to get it through that thick skull of yours that I like being with you?” said Jensen, resting his hands on your hip. You blushed and heard your dad head down the hall. 

“I hope someday I do. Let’s go to bed, Jay,” you said. You walked upstairs, pulling him down the hall away from the master and towards the kids section of the house. Your old room was on the end, Jensen whistling when you pushed the door open. 

“Hot damn. I think my bedroom was the size of your closet,” he said as he looked around.

“I used to sleep in a one bedroom apartment with my dad for years. This was not always the norm,” you said. “It’s also not that obnoxious. You will not be complaining about having my own bathroom when my brother and sister get up for school in the morning.”

“No, I don’t think I will,” he said. You didn’t have too many clothes left at your parents place but there were some pajamas for you and you managed to find a pair of clean sweatpants from Anthony in the laundry room. After Jensen changed you slipped into bed, Jensen plopping down beside you. “Tomorrow will be better, I promise.”

“I hope so, Jens. Goodnight.”

“Morning,” you yawned, Jensen on your tail as you wandered into the kitchen around six thirty. You caught Anthony staring at Jensen and raised an eyebrow. “Anthony. Stop staring at my boyfriend’s ass.”

“Those are my pants,” he said.

“You can share,” you said, Jensen chuckling as he took a seat at the kitchen counter beside them.

“It’s okay. Your sister stares at it too,” he said.

“I am your girlfriend. I can stare at your ass,” you said, your dad walking in with a cup of coffee in his hands.

“It’s too early for this conversation,” he said, rubbing his eyes.

“So is there gonna be another meltdown today or what?” asked Anthony as he sipped on his cereal.

“Behave,” said your mom as she finished plating some eggs for your dad. “It’s grown up stuff, Anthony.”

“It’s always grown up stuff,” mumbled Ella. Your gaze flickered over to your dad and he took a sip of his coffee.

“Dani,” he said, giving her a nod. “They aren’t little kids anymore. I think they’re old enough to know.”

“Y/N knowing is one thing-”

“I don’t want to keep secrets from our kids anymore,” he said. Jensen stood and was about to excuse himself but your dad shook his head. “You can stay if you’d like, Jensen. You don’t have to but you don’t have to go either.”

“Whatever you’re comfortable with,” said Jensen. Your dad looked at you and you looked over to Jensen.

“Jensen can keep a secret,” you said. “He’s a good guy. It’s your choice though.”

“I know. It’s the reason I’m willing to let him hear this,” said your dad. 

“Is this about yesterday? Or your guys other fight earlier in the week?” asked Ella. 

“It’s actually about what happened when I was eighteen.”

“Hey,” you said, stopping over Jensen’s apartment after work that night. He gave you a smile as he waved you in. “That smells delicious.”

“Thank you. I hope it tastes as good. How was work?” he asked.

“Surprisingly good. The guys and me got a good game plan put together of how to function while I film scenes and overall. I’ll still be busy but it can work,” you said. “How was your day off?”

“I caught up on a few chores before I went over to hang out with your dad for a few hours,” he said.

“How was he? I know Anthony and Ella were kinda shell shocked this morning, including you.”

“He was okay. I asked why he felt comfortable telling me something so personal to be honest. I get that we’re dating but it’s only been three weeks.”

“What’d he end up saying?” you asked as you skirted into his kitchen to wash up.

“He just said he had a feeling I was going to end up sticking around and I might as well know now,” he said. “He really never has had that perfect life the world thinks he did.”

“No,” you said. “Thanks for checking up on him.”

“He’s my friend. It’s no problem,” he said, chuckling as he stared at you. “You didn’t happen to spill some pasta from lunch did you?”

You looked down, speckles of orange red all over your white shirt. You threw your head back and he laughed.

“You’ve had a hard day. Why don’t you take a shower and slip into some of my clothes while I finish cooking? I’ll spray some stain remover on your shirt and throw it in the wash,” he said.

“That sounds kind of fantastic,” you said. 

“Towels are in the bathroom closet,” he said.

“I’ll be right back,” you said. You popped into his bathroom and tossed your dirty shirt out into his bedroom, finding you had some on your jeans too. You placed them next to the shirt, hearing Jensen come in a minute later to gather them up. The bedroom door shut and you got under the shower, smiling to yourself.

It had not been an easy week in the slightest but it was getting closer to the end and Jensen had rolled with all of the punches. You used some of his shampoo to wash your hair, humming to yourself. You didn’t want to know what kind of hot mess your life would be right now without him in it. 

You were still grinning as you got out of the shower and dried off, Jensen knocking on the door to let you know it was done whenever you were ready. You stepped out to the bedroom, a pair of sweatpants and a t shirt waiting for you along with your underwear and bra. You slipped on the underwear and glanced back at his closet, a smirk crossing your lips.

You didn’t know if he wanted to go there yet. Or if he was ready. 

You could tease without pushing for anything though.

You walked into his closet and found a blue flannel on a hanger before you pulled it off and put it on, buttoning it up for the most part. You took a deep breath and left the bedroom, Jensen whistling to himself as he stirred a pot.

“How was the shower?” he asked, back to you still.

“Good. I can’t wait to try dinner,” you said. He looked over his shoulder with a smile quickly and went back to his pot. He froze and turned back to you slowly, looking you up and down. “You did say to put on your clothes.”

“This is true,” he said. You tucked your damp hair behind your ear, biting your bottom lip as he kept staring. 

“I can change,” you said, spinning around and trying to get to a pair of pants as quickly as possible.

“Don’t,” he said. You looked back and he looked you up and down once more. “You look good. Very, very good.”

“We should eat,” you said. He nodded and went back to the food, dishing some up as you sat at his counter, Jensen joining you after a moment. You were quiet as you ate together, Jensen staring at you more than once. “It tastes wonderful, Jensen.”

“Thanks,” he said. You smirked when he nearly knocked his glass over and he quickly put it back. He seemed to devour the rest of his food and pick up while you finished with your own. “You’re uh, going to stay the night?”

“Would you like me to?” you asked, handing over your plate.

“Yeah. I like having someone stay over,” he said. You smiled and helped him finish cleaning up, heading into his family room when you were done.

“Do you want to watch a movie?” you asked, running a hand through your hair, Jensen staring down at where the hem of his shirt lifted up your leg. “Or...we could do something else.”

“Are you okay with something else?” he asked. “You said the other morning…I don’t want to push you into anything.”

“I’m okay with something else with you,” you said. “Are you okay with it?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I am,” he said. You stepped over in front of him and took his hand, pulling him back to his bedroom. He shut the door and you put a hand on one of the buttons of your shirt. “Wait.”

He crossed the room and cupped your cheeks, kissing you slowly, the taste of dinner still on his soft pink lips.

“You are beautiful,” he said quietly, kissing you, leaving his lips on yours.

“I’m all yours,” you murmured before you kissed him again. He put his hands on your face, your neck, holding you close. Your hands worked on the buttons of your shirt before you pushed it off your shoulders and opened your eyes. Jensen did the same and looked down as you stepped back towards the bed, pulling him with you.

“Wow,” he breathed out. 

“Want to take off the rest?” you smirked. 

“Oh fuck yes,” he said. He ripped his shirt off his head and you reached out to put a hand on his belt, undoing it slowly, finding the zipper of his jeans and pulling it down. He pushed his pants off and his boxer briefs in one go.

“Well fuck me,” you said, his cock already hard and slightly bigger than you were expecting. “Someone ate their wheaties.”

“Someone’s hot as hell,” he said resting his hand on your hips. You pushed off your underwear with him, Jensen smiling as he lay the two of you down on the bed and leaned over top of you. 

“You gonna do something or you just going to look pretty?” you teased.

He winked and started to kiss down your body, a pleasant shiver running down your spine.

“Relax. Gonna make you feel good,” he murmured, kissing near your hip. You arched your hips up and he rested his palms on them, hot breath fanning over your clit. 

He lapped his tongue over the bud, so light you barely felt it. You tugged on his hair, urging him to give you more. He opened his eyes and you nodded, Jensen diving in. 

You sunk back into the sheets, floating in the good feelings he was giving you. There was a presence on your hips, enough to keep you in place if you squirmed, but otherwise he was extremely gentle, giving you a nice build up.

“Jensen,” you breathed out. “You know what you are doing down there.”

“Good,” he said as he pulled back, licking his lips. “You taste delicious.”

“Hey,” you said when he went to go back for more. You tugged his hair, Jensen crawling up the bed. 

“Hi,” he teased, pecking a kiss to your lips.

“On your back,” you said, sliding your hand down to his cheek. He cocked his head adorably and you giggled. “Let me return the favor.”

“I am plenty hard,” he laughed. “We got all the time in the world for that. This is about reminding you that this can be good tonight.”

You smiled softly as you looked up at him, Jensen nuzzling into your hand for a moment. 

“It’s good,” you said quietly.

“Good,” he whispered, dipping his head low and kissing you. He rolled to the side of the bed and dug around in his nightstand drawer, swallowing when he suddenly sat up. “Y/N. I don’t have any condoms. I can run out really quick-“

“My purse in my bag. There’s some in the side zip pocket,” you said. “They’re new.”

“You are amazing,” he said, jogging out of the room and back in, tearing open a condom. You sat up and held out your hand, Jensen setting it in your palm. You sat up on your knees on the bed, carefully rolling the condom on his cock, Jensen’s breath hitching. 

“Almost didn’t fit. I’ll have to buy bigger,” you said. He grabbed the back of your thighs and hoisted you up as he crawled onto the bed, lifting you up and gently lowering you down on his cock.

You dropped your head to his shoulder and your mouth fell open, Jensen holding you close as you adjusted to him.

“Slow?” he asked quietly. You nodded and he trailed a finger down the curve of your spine, whole body shuddering around him. He shifted his hips back, barely pulling out before delivering a deep thrust, his tip hitting your g-spot. He did it again and you turned your face into his neck, Jensen pausing.

“M’okay. Don’t stop,” you mumbled against his skin. He touched a hand to your cheek and you raised your head, Jensen’s lips finding your own. You parted them, a teasing kiss turning deeper as he started to move again. Your arms wrapped around his shoulders, rolls of your hips falling in line with his, smacking your skin together.

He breathed hard and ran a hand up to the back of your hair, almost like he was more interested in the kiss than the screwing. You smiled and felt him return it, thumb brushing over the back of your neck. Your foreheads rested against one another as you caught your breath, bodies catching on and moving in a perfect rhythm together.

You giggled and got a big kiss for it, Jensen let out a cute little sound when he pulled back.

“I love that noise,” he whispered against your lips. 

“Feels so good,” you said.

“I know,” he said, your hips rolling back as his thrust forward. “Fuck, do that again.”

You rolled your hips and he bit his bottom lip. One of your hands reached up to his hair and pulled him closer, devouring him in a dirty kiss. He sank into it, your pants mixing together as you rocked back and forth. It was slow and lazy and you felt a low simmer in your core, the kind that would rip through you and ruin you when it finally hit.

He kissed your neck, your back arching, his lips kissing under your jaw and making you keen.

You tightened around him and he did it again, your hips moving a little faster, Jensen matching you for it, returning to your mouth to map out the warm wet cavern there.

His body was tensing up and you knew he was holding back his orgasm. You grabbed one of his hands and slid it down your chest. He slipped a finger through your folds as your bodies broke apart for a moment, finding your clit and starting to rub. 

Your mouth fell open and you squeezed every muscle in your body, hips working in time with his as he kept working the bud with his fingers. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you said, crest of an orgasm hitting you and stealing your breath away, Jensen slamming his hips into you harder. You made some kind of deep and low moan as pleasure ran through you, Jensen’s body going rigid as he came. You moved your hips as long as you could, head dropping onto his shoulder as you tried to get some air back in your lungs.

He thrust slowly a few more times, riding out the last waves of his high before he stilled and wrapped his arms around your back.

“Fuck,” he breathed out, resting his forehead on your shoulder, his whole body starting to relax. You shakily lifted your head, Jensen doing the same. His green eyes were a little darker and a whole lot hazier. You could barely think, didn’t want to feel anything but the after effects of an orgasm like that. He crashed his lips to yours, somehow finding enough energy to steal your breath away one last time. 

Your head felt dizzy when he pulled away and he lay you down, slipping out of you. You felt him get out of the bed for a moment, returning after a second with no condom and tucking into your side.

You lay there with your eyes shut, Jensen rolling you to use his body as a pillow and you were more than okay with that. Your arm rested over his waist and you pressed your chest to his, head resting on his shoulder, his arm lazily wrapped around your back.

“Wow,” he finally said, his chest rising and falling more slowly.

“You are fucking amazing,” you said. 

“Takes one to know one,” he laughed. “That was okay?”

“More than,” you said, forcing your eyes open, Jensen looking down at you. “Thank you for making that fun for me again.”

“I could say the same to you,” he said, kissing your temple before his eyes fluttered shut. You kissed his chest before you shut your eyes and fell asleep listening to his slow heartbeat.

______

A/N: Read Part 14 here!

[erule]

Stuck in the snow (with you)

Title: Stuck in the snow (with you)

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 1300ish

Warnings: mention of alcohol, marriage, low self-esteem, comforting Dean, Dean’s reassuring you that you’re enough, spoilers from 15x20 because the fic takes place after the finale (but things went well).

Summary: Dean proposed to the reader, but he didn’t expect a “No” as an answer. And now they’re stuck in the bunker together because of the snow.

A/N: Hello hello! This fic was purely inspired by Jensen’s last video that he posted on IG in which he was shoveling the snow.

If you wanna be tagged in my Dean Winchester fics, just let me know in my ask box! You can also find me on AO3 and Wattpad. Feedback is always appreciated by a writer! Enjoy!

Tags: @akshi8278  

Story under the cut!

It’s midnight.

You pour some whiskey in your glass for the fourth or fifth time – you’ve lost count. And yeah, it’s ridiculous, you think. It’s so pointless, being here, drinking alone, in the kitchen of the bunker, just because your dumb boyfriend had the audacity to propose to you earlier. Every person in the world would be happy about a move like that, but you’re not. Why? You don’t even know that! So you just blew away your chance to be happy because you were unsure. No one wonders why you’ve been here drinking alone. You could have been here celebrating with Dean, raising your glasses filled with champagne, but no, you had to ruin everything.

My mind is killing me, you think.

You get up from your seat, only to discover that your head aches and you’re not able to walk properly, so you sit down again. This is so embarassing, even more than that one time Dean caught you half-naked in his room because you were looking for one of his flannels to put on just to smell his scent while he was gone. When he still hadn’t left. Before you two got together. Again, embarassing.

Your conversation with Dean after 2 AM are always the best ones. That’s the time you always find something dumb to do or something stupid to say. At 3 AM, discussions with him just get deeper and meaningful. You remember that the first time you told him you were in love with him, it was half past 3 and you were insanely drunk, but the color of his eyes is still stuck in your memory like a diamond. A green one. Shiny. Beautiful.

You let out a sigh.

The worst part of all of this? Sam and Cas are not here. They had to go on a hunt while Dean was supposed to celebrate this amazing moment with you, because, of course, they thought you would have just said Yes. So now, you’re stuck with Dean, who’s obviously hurt and a lot of snow outside that forces you to stay inside. Being locked up with Lucifer himself would be better than this.

You let yourself rest a bit on the table, your head between your arms like in a tight hug with Dean, while your shoulders freeze. Maybe it’s what you deserve after you let down the only man you’re ever trusted with all of your being.

You wake up confused. There’s definitely a noise that you can’t understand outside the door of the bunker. You get up with a headache, but you’re enough lucid to notice a flannel on your shoulders to protect you from the coldness. You look at your phone: 6 AM. What’s Dean doing up so early? You wear a sweater and then you go outside to see what he’s up to.

«Dean?» you call. He doesn’t answer. «Babe?»

«Right here!» he says.

You find him shoveling the snow, with a black beanie, a sweater, grey sweatpants, some boots he wears just for this particular weather.

«Dean, it’s so cold out here! Come inside and put something else on, please» you say to him, worried.

«You’re not following your own suggestion, sweetheart» he replies, still shoveling the snow. It’s like he can’t stop. Maybe he’s doing it because it helps him not to think.

You just notice that he called you Sweetheart. That’s good, right?

«You’re right» you say, «but please, do it anyway. Maybe it’s just that I care for you more than I care about myself.»

Dean stops. It’s like he got paralyzed. Maybe you shouldn’t have told him that, since it’s something he had done for as long as he can remember, because he has got a good heart and because he had always thought that his life didn’t have a value as the others. You didn’t mean that, of course. You just wanted him to be alright after you broke his heart. You think that maybe this is you being selfish, instead of selfless, because of your sense of guilt.

He looks at you under his lashes and your heart begins to race into your chest.

«You see, that’s the problem» he says, taking a step further to be closer to you. You can feel the heat of his body next to yours and suddenly, you’re not cold anymore. «You and I, we’re the same. God forgive me if for once I did something for myself, but I guess he already punished me enough, didn’t he?» he continues, sarcasm running through his veins. «You’re scared, Y/N. I can tell. Why? Because of the way you look at me. You still look at me the same way you did yesterday and to be honest, I don’t think it’s the way you look at someone you don’t love.»

You swallow so hard, you can swear he just heard the sound of the saliva going down your throat.

«Dean, please, I…»

«Do you remember the first thing you said to me after I came back from that hunt that almost killed me? After Cas and Jack saved me? After you thought I was dead for good?» he asks. There’s something in his voice that you can’t properly catch, like a tone of irony, sadness or maybe desperation. «Because I do very well. Hell, I remember it like it was yesterday!» he exclaims, running his fingers through his hair. He looks exhausted. He has got two dark circles under his eyes and they’re circled in red, like he cried all night. Your heart tightens. «You told me that you would have done everything to get me back. Everything» he says, pointing a finger at you. «And you’ve been long enough with us to know that in this family, when you say something like that, you mean it. That day was exactly three months ago. Did anything change after that? Because now I need to know it, Y/N. No more secrets, no more games, no more tricks. It’s just you and me. If you don’t longer want to be with me, you just have to say it.»

You bit you inner cheek so hard, it bleeds. A sob slips from your lips, while you’re still looking at him. Emerald eyes. Glossy. Beautiful.

«Are you sure that you really want me?» you ask and something flickers into Dean’s eyes. Like a spark of hope. «Because I want the best for you and sometimes I feel like I’m not enough.»

Dean sigs in relief and you don’t understand why. He approaches you and cups your cheeks into his hands, smiling softly.

«Sweetheart, you’re more than enough for me. Not because you’ve got a talented brain or because of your hunting skills, but for the things you do to take care of me. Because you know what you have to say when you want me to relax or to change a bad habit. Because of the way you keep me safe during a hunt. Yeah, I know you look at me when we’re in danger, I do the same for you. But most of all, I love the fact that you know you’re all of these things, but you’re still worried that I don’t know that, but trust me, I know» he says, wiping a tear that just escaped from your eye. «Because I see you, Y/N and you’re extraordinary. So please, be sure that you’re amazing and that I’m well aware for that. And now say that you’ll marry me, because you’re not scared anymore» he says, with a smile.

«You’ll be stuck with me for eternity, Winchester. Are you ready to do that?»

«Damn right, I am!»

You chuckle.

«Alright, then I’ll marry you. Yes! A thousand times, yes!»

That’s when he lifts you up and hug you so tight, you can feel your ribs screaming. It’s the best feeling ever, though.

«Now we have to shovel all the snow in order to go back inside, though» says Dean, causing you to burst out laughing.

The rest of eternity looks really good, now.

[deanwanddamons]

The Best Weekend of your Life - Chapter 6

Summary: You are obsessed with Supernatural and go to a convention with your best friend. You are 100% a Dean girl while your friend is a Sam girl. Both Jensen and Jared are single in this. You both catch the guys attention and things go from there. At the end of Chapter 5, Y/N has spent the night with Jensen, and you have decided to see if you can have some sort of relationship.

Pairing: Jensen x reader, Jared x readers best friend

Word Count: 2463

Warning: Romance, fluff, implied smut

A/N: Y/N texting is in italics. Jensen texting is in bold.Thank you once again to everyone who has helped with this fic. My beta’s @winchest09 and @deans-baby-momma and my girls @mummybear @negans-lucille-tblr and @sweater-daddiesdumbdork @ladywinchester1967​ Love you ❤️

Song Inspiration: https://youtu.be/MyqaDUoEhRM

Kesha - Dirty Picture

The Best Weekend of your Life Masterlist

Saying hi to Jared, who is sitting next to F/N, you slip into the booth next to Jensen. The waitress comes to take your orders and both you and F/N ask for a full English breakfast with coffee.

“I have never had a full English before,” Jared informed you as he looked down at the menu.

“Oh you must! They are the best!” you exclaim before, looking at Jensen who nods. Shrugging he orders one for each of them too.

“So...” you ask Jared, biting back a smirk,“did you have a good night?”

“Yeah, you could say that,” he answered, turning to F/N, smiling as he slips his arm around her.

“I’m gonna stay here with Y/N for a few days,” Jensen suddenly announced. “I’ve cleared it with Sophie, and she’s extended my stay in the hotel until Thursday and rebooked my flights.”

“Wow, really? That sounds awesome.” Jared smiled. “I would love to be able to do the same, but I have an interview in New York, which is scheduled for Tuesday.” He glances at F/N, who has her head bowed looking dejected. “But we have agreed that you’re going to come and visit though,” he added, lifting her chin with his finger and kissing her sweetly.

“Hey, maybe you and Y/N can come out together?” Jensen began, taking your hand. “You can come to Vancouver, and come to the Supernatural set?” He looks at you with hope in his eyes, so you lean in and kiss him.

“I would love that,” you beam back at him.

“That would be perfect!” F/N exclaimed, a smile returning to her face.

The waitress returns to the table with your meals. Quickly realising you’re ravenous, you dig into the food, which looks incredible. You're not surprised though, after all the exercise you had last night.

“God, this is amazing!” chuckles Jared, shovelling the food into his mouth. “I’m starving.”

It doesn’t take long for all your plates to be cleared of food.

‘“So, what’s the plan for today?” you ask as the waitress clears your table.

“I’ll need to go back to my room at the hotel to get ready for the con later,” Jensen says, “it’ll be a busy one today,” he adds with a frown.

“That’s fine, it’s no problem. I’ll go back to my room and freshen up. Meet back up with you after the con?” you inquire.

“Sounds good,” Jensen agrees. “You’ll be there though won’t you?” he confirms as he pays the bill.

“Of course we will, wouldn’t miss it for the world,”

Leaving the cafe, you turn to him as he reaches the car. He pulls you to him, and gives you a long kiss.

“I’ll give you a call later sweetheart,” he says as he gets in the car and Jared drives away.

Making your way up to your room, you and F/N pass a group of girls who are clearly here for the convention, judging by their SPN t-shirts.

If they knew that only last night, you’d had the most intense, amazingly incredible night of sex with Jensen. You can still feel the mark he’d left on your neck, the taste of his kisses still on your lips. The smell of him still lingers on your skin, and you can still feel the slight sting between your legs, from where he had been inside you.

You smile secretly to yourself at the memory.

Going up in the lift you hear your phone pinging in your pocket. It’s an Instagram alert. Checking the notification you see Jensen has just posted an update. It’s a selfie of him with Jared in the car, and the caption:

‘Best one yet. Didn’t expect that 😉 #manchesterspncon’

You wonder what that message could mean. Is it a cryptic message to you? Or is that just wishful thinking?

“Check this out,” you say, passing your phone to F/N.

“Ohhh that’s interesting!” she exclaims, “you reckon that’s aimed at us?”

“Who knows? I guess it could mean anything!”

Suddenly you have an idea. Jensen always feels a little anxious about being on stage at conventions, so you decide to help him relax.

“I’ve just had an idea. You go on up,” you say to F/N. “I’ll meet you in our room in a bit. There’s somewhere I need to go.”

“No way! I’m coming with you,” she laughs.

Pushing the lift button to go back down to the lobby, you check your pockets to make sure you have your credit card. Finding it there, you exit the hotel. As it’s your hometown you know your way around, so you head for Victoria Secret with a cheeky smile on your face.

“I’m loving this idea,” F/N chuckles as you enter the shop.

“I’m only looking for some nice underwear at the moment. Don’t get too excited,” you laugh.

Wandering around you take in all the beautiful lingerie they have on offer. There are so many to choose from, you find it hard to decide on which set you are going to get to surprise Jensen with. Eventually, after constantly changing your mind and asking F/N’s opinion, you agree on which one you're going to buy. Hoping you are doing the right thing, and wondering if you’ll actually have the confidence to go through with your idea, you pay for your choice and make your way back to the hotel.

Returning to your room, you drop your bags on the bed and pull out what you have purchased. It’s a black and red lacy bra with matching panties. Standing facing the mirror, you hold the set against your body. You really hope that Jensen will like it.

"I’m going to take a shower,” F/N says making her way into the bathroom. “I’m aching so much from last night. Besides, you need a little while to yourself I assume?” she says with a wink as she closes the door.

Getting undressed, you slip on the bra, and panties. The material feels divine against your skin and the cut of the material really suits your figure. You're quietly confident that he is going to enjoy your surprise.

Taking your phone from your pocket, you lie back on the bed. Holding the phone above you, you smile, and take a few pictures. Checking the photos, you are shocked how good you actually look. Feeling rather pleased with yourself you get dressed.

Busying yourself with tidying the room, you wait for F/N to finish her shower. You can’t wait for later, not only as you’ll get to see Jensen again, but you want to see his reaction to what you have in mind.

Checking your watch you see it’s almost time to go back down to the convention room.

“F/N, are you ready to go back down?” you shout out, hoping she is almost finished.

“Yep, 2 minutes and I’ll be out,” she shouts back from the bathroom.

As you're waiting for her, you get together your coat and bag. Coming back into the room, F/N picks up her things and you both make your way downstairs.

The convention room is packed, but you manage to find a seat. Settling yourself down, you feel yourself getting excited to see Jensen again. You have really missed him since you have been apart, even though it’s only been for a few hours. Thinking back to how you felt yesterday, you can’t believe what has happened over the last 24 hours.

The Q&A starts, the same as yesterday, but this time the cast who are answering are Alexander Calvert, Mark Pelligrino, Felicia Day and Osric Chau. One of your favourite characters is Charlie so you are very happy Felicia is on the stage.

Finally, Jared and Jensen are introduced and take the stage. You can see Jensen is scanning the audience, and wonder if he is looking for you. At last, his green eyes land on yours. With a wide grin, he winks at you and takes his seat.

Taking your phone from your pocket, before you change your mind and lose your nerve, you fire off the first of your pictures in a text to Jensen with the caption ‘they say to relax, you should picture people in their underwear’

Raising your head from your phone, you look at Jensen, who is taking his phone from his pocket. He looks at it and pauses.

Eagerly watching his face to gage his reaction, you notice his lips turn into a smirk. He looks directly at you, lifts one eyebrow, runs his tongue along his top lip and leans his head to the side.

Seems like he liked the picture.

He starts to type on his phone when Jared nudges him leaning over his shoulder. Jensen turns his phone away from him as Jared whispers something to him. They both smirk as Jensen stands up and turns to leave the stage.

“Sorry folks” Jared announces “Jensen has to take this phone call. He’ll be back shortly, but I can continue answering questions”

As Jensen leaves the stage, you notice he is typing.

A few seconds later you receive a message from him. It’s a selfie of him, eyebrow raised, pouting, taken from the side of the stage, with the caption ‘how am I supposed to stay a professional baby when I know you're wearing this for me. You look fucking amazing. Looks like we are going to have some fun later’

Smiling you look up and see him walk back onto the stage. He looks a little flustered as he takes his seat, so you decide to respond.

Sending another picture, with no caption this time, you sit back. He looks directly at you again, and checks his phone. The picture you sent is a lot more risky than the last one. In this, you have removed your bra.

This time you notice he takes in a deep, shuddering breath, and begins to squirm in his seat. But he doesn’t leave the stage. Instead you get a response.

‘I am so turned on right now. I love the fact that all these people don’t have a clue what you are sending me. And knowing I’m going to fuck you so hard later while you wear that. Actually, I don’t think it’s going to stay on long’

You feel your cheeks redden and heat pools between your legs. Knowing you are turning him on, turns you on so much. You need to get your hands on him and show him how much you need him inside you again.

Realising you are probably distracting him a bit too much, you don’t respond to the last message. Instead you listen to the stories the boys are telling the audience and the reaction they are getting from them.

They are so natural with their fans, answering any questions thrown their way, usually with an anecdote or a funny story.

Another text comes through to your phone. It’s Jensen.

‘We are almost finished here, I want to take you on a date. Let’s go for a meal? Just the two of us’

‘Sounds perfect’

‘Meet me around the back in 10 minutes’

“Jensen wants to take me for a meal shortly. Just the two of us. Do you mind?” you ask F/N.

“Of course not! I’ll be fine. I’ll drop Jared a message see if he wants to hang out.”

“Awesome thank you! I’ll see you later. Don’t wait up,” you tell her, laughing as you gather your things together.

Leaving the convention room you exit the hotel and walk around to the back alley where Jensen disappeared down yesterday. You assumed that’s where he meant when he said around the back.

Leaning against the wall, you see Jensen walking towards you.

“Hey baby. You’re a little minx ain’t ya,” he says as he wraps his arms around you and kisses you hard.

“Did you enjoy them?” you ask, chuckling against his lips.

“Fuck yes,” he whispers in your ear, pushing you back against the wall.

“I thought we were going on a date?” you manage to say through his kisses. “Although, I’m happy to continue doing this if that’s what you want?”

A noise from the top of the alley startles you both, so you stop to see what it was. You notice a figure walking quickly away.

“Let’s get some food,” Jensen says as he moves away from you and takes your hand, leading you out of the alley.

“I know a great little Italian restaurant nearby if you fancy it?” you ask him.

“Sounds perfect,” he answers

As you walk to the restaurant, hand in hand, you chat about the convention.

Suddenly you have the feeling you're being followed. Turning to look behind you, you see a figure quickly duck behind a low wall.

“Jensen, I don't want to worry you, but I think someone is following us,” you whisper. He glances over his shoulder.

“I don’t see anyone,” he says quietly.

“There was someone, but they hid behind a wall. Don’t worry, it’s probably just me being paranoid,” you respond.

Once you reach the restaurant, you go inside and request a table. Thankfully, they have one free so you both take a seat.

The door opens and a young girl walks in, and sits at the bar. She looks straight at you and holds your gaze.

Frowning, you force your gaze away from hers. There is something about her mannerisms that makes you feel uncomfortable. Jensen has his back to her, but he notices the frown on your face.

“Everything ok babe?” he asks

“Yeah, I’m fine. Don’t worry.”

As he passes you the menu, you notice the girl is leaving her seat and walking towards you. As she reaches your table, Jensen turns to look at her.

“Oh my god!” she exclaims, “it is you! You’re Dean Winchester!”

Chapter 7

Tagging - @sherlock44  @for-a-brothers-love  @ilovetoread44 @supraveng @jawritter @sandlee44 @prettydeaneyes @moonlessnight126 @adoptdontshoppets @maddiepants @in-deans-arms @mummybear @magssteenkamp@zpandaqueen @thevelvetseries @sonofabringmesomepie @afangirlsbubble @fandom-princess-forevermore @cleighwrites @jensensjaredsandmishaslover @deans-baby-momma @linki-locks11 @dancingalone21 @chocolateheart @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce @shademered @woodworthti666 @sycochick @typicalweirdbookworm @kalesrebellion @elizzysnow13 @deangirl7695 @flamencodiva @noobwuvsj2 @hhiggs @starryeyeseunbyul @starryeyeseunbyul@lettersofwrittencollective @wingedcatninja @missafairy @winchest09 @princessmisery666 @cherylricki96 @wxxnks @akshi8278 @sweater-daddiesdumbdork @surprisinglysarah @hillface89 @ladywinchester1967  @spnbaby-67 @mylovelydame21 @thatdreamingdrey @plushpyrate​ @youaremyfiveever @kyjey @compresshischest09 @chloejanedecker1 @foxyjwls007 @mimzy1994 @missscorp @youaremyfiveever @mrswhozeewhatsis 

[keagan-ashleigh]

Ooooh damn, I just watched the finale (couldn't watch it live, had to wait a little bit, that's why I wasn't on Tumblr yesterday and today, I know better than login in when they're is an absolute certainty to get spoiled). I am such a mess right know, I am crying my heart out for real, sobbing and sobbing.

Sure it wasn't exactly the ending I was hoping for. But it's okay. I was telling it the other day my hope about getting a destiel happy ending was actually real low because I am disillusioned and Jensen's acting in episode 18 screamed that it was a definite goodbye to Castiel, his tears and lack of fire reaction he always had when Sam or Cas died and was fighting to get them back, it was just so solemn, it was telling "this time there is no defying death", so that's really what was getting my hope low. And at some point I saw Misha's post saying something around the lines of "you did that guys", I knew he wasn't in the episode, so I made my peace with not having my ideal ending before hitting play.

I expected Dean to die (just not like that, to be honest) because Jensen told that he wasn't feeling ok with his ending and knowing the context about lgbt representation (I didn't think they were going to give us a canon destiel, I was hoping for it but I know most shows don't do that and that Supernatural wasn't going to be different on that end) I sort of knew it wasn't to be Dean and Castiel flying away, the only logical and probable explanation was that Dean died. But I did wanted Castiel to just be there, if not on earth then in heaven. I didn't even mind if they weren't going to be romantically together, I just wanted them to be together. They didn't. They didn't go the extra mile, but I know how it is, despite great show being more inclusive I know there is so little shows willing to go that extra mile, so no, I wasn't expecting it, I was hoping that maybe, you know.

I wanted so much more than such a fast ending for him and for Castiel, it was disappointing on that point, yet I feel like it's ok. I wasn't even expecting the show to make Castiel speak of his love for Dean, to make him gay, they delivered more than I was hoping for just a week ago. It's not perfect, it's not ideal, but it's ok. They still ended it the way that was right for Dean and Sam, the first being at peace with himself and the world, feeling loved and deserving of happiness, the ultimate happiness that is heaven, with the certainty of an eternity spent with the people he loved, minus Cas (but I will headcanon them reuniting cause if he helped reshape heaven that means that he is ok, that Jack brought him back from the empty), resting at last, him the soldier who could never stop fighting, it fits him well that in the end he stopped, because it was right; the latter having the life he dreamed of, with normalcy, a family, a dog, a steady and fufilling life, before finding back his brother in heaven.

I understand what Jensen meant. It doesn't feel right at first, no he can't go like that, so fast, so miserably, but then it feels appropriate and respectful of who the character had been for 15 seasons. He deserved heaven, he deserved rest, he deserved self love. Sam deserved a life. We never hoped for less for those characters, so yes we may feel robbed because we didn't imagined it like this. But it was nonetheless beautiful and right.

The finale felt not epic, no big fight, not a super dramatic way of dying in comparison to every over death they got us used to in this show, but they did got an epic finale in episode 19, this was way more intimate and I think it's exactly what it needed to be.

I just wished they went the extra mile with Cas, I wish they just brought him back. My only disappointment was that they didn't bring him back at all. But I can't complain because him finding happiness in loving and sacrificing for Dean was in character, even though it would have been better if he could have just been around more. Being with humans, with Sam and Dean, then being a father for Jack, taught him so much about love, he learned to be free, to stand for himself and for the ones he love, so, it's not actually the worst way to end his character arc. I know people are disappointed, I understand why, I am not 100% happy I this ending either,but it was a logical end for his character, if not the perfect ending for him. It still makes sense, no matter how wrong it does feel from our perspective.

So, in the end, I am not disappointed. I am not angry at them for not making destiel canon. They actually gave way more than what I was ever hoping for with that show and with television in general.

They changed the game. If I am not mistaking destiel is the first ship that was so iconic that if you ask people to tell you about fandom and shipping Supernatural and destiel pop into minds, I personally can't think of any ship prior to the show that has been so visible in and outside the realm of fandom, perhaps in Star Trek, but at the time fandoms were a discreet thing, it wasn't at the same level of visibility. They changed the fandom experience, fans and cast, outside and inside the show by acknowledging fandom and paying it their respect, they changed the fandom experience.

They left an imprint because the fandom has been so important that it gave the very loud and clear message "this is what we want, we want you to make efforts to give a better representation". I'm not saying it is just spn that has had this impact, this wouldn't be fair to all the other shows that were making efforts, I don't know all of them but this is the first time that a gay ship is so iconic that you know about it even if you don't even watch the show. I remember what tv shows looked like around 2005, I was 17 back then, there was that dynamic het hero and het love interest and even though shows were progressing, they weren't flirting that much with the idea of two male leads being in a romantic dynamic and they weren't giving two shits about their fandom and about acknowledging their importance and the importance of their work to enrich the whole experience. SPN went the extra mile for that period's standard, that is something we can't brush away.

That doesn't mean we can't criticise the queerbaiting, of course not, it doesn't mean we got to praise it no matter what, I don't say they were perfect, they weren't and they are to blame on some levels, that just means that no matter what, Supernatural changed the dynamic in television. Shipping existed before but never before was it so much vocal and present outside the secrecy of fandoms. We owe them to recognize the good they indeed did. They really did way more than 90% of the shows out there, especially from shows that started around mid 00's, in terms of representation and in terms of allowing fandom, and especially fanwork, to be respected. I'm not saying we owe only to Supernatural the fact that more and more shows give us better representation and respect, I am saying that they had a significative influence. We have to look at what was television and fandom before to really see what drastically changed thanks to that show and some others.

They didn't go all the way to making it canon but they did something spectacular in delivering a bit of what we were asking for. I wasn't expecting them to ever acknowledging destiel on screen at all. They did. And I was gobsmacked because I never thought they would. They have turned some of the queerbaiting into foreshadowing, and that my dudes is huge. Yes there is job to do to get rid of the kill your gays and making more than half of the ship canon, but they've set a standard. From such an iconic show to make that step is sending a message. I know other shows have canon gay ships, maybe Supernatural showrunners got inspired by them, but despite the fact I love those show dearly and passionately we have to recognize they aren't having the same cultural imprint that Supernatural is having.

This is in the end let's say, not satisfying because they could have been even more progressive and even more right to the characters, but it is progress, and it is right to the characters. And I am happy for it. I am not mad. This is not meaningless.

I can't express how thankful I am for this show that has been such a comfort in my life, a show that has introduced me to the world of fandoms, a show that has brought me so much joy and relief from life, a show that has been there to give me a sense of being part of a community, a show that has introduced me to the concept of shipping, a show that has actually taught me a lot about bisexuality and introduced to the lgbt community, a show that taught me about deserving love and to be true to myself, a show that has inspired me as a writer, as a person, a show that has held my hand for 15 long years. I can't be mad. I can't feel resentment because my ship isn't canon, because in the end they told me it was right to write my own story about the characters and that I was right to believe in it. I can't be mad at this ending even though I wished it was different, because it still is a respectful goodbye, and it feels like they told me "that's okay". I can go now. I can turn this page and start to write another one. They have changed me, they have helped me become the person I am today, I learned so much through those characters.

I owe them a thank you, a billions of thank yous, not a "you could have done better".

So, that is how I feel. I understand people are unhappy and it is important that we address what is wrong with it, but I think we should be grateful for everything they did delivered during those 15 years, and they delivered... so much.

[orionsangel86]

Jibcon10 Auto Stories!

I have so much to tell you all about Jibcon as it was such a wonderful experience and I can’t even begin to express just what an amazing week I had being surrounded by such a positive and happy fandom, along with a very happy and relaxed SPN cast. It was truly magical.

First I want to share my auto stories as I was fortunate enough to have some lovely experiences with all of J2M.

Misha

I had my Misha auto first of all, and I was getting him to sign my Castiel funko pop. I was really nervous as this was my first Misha interaction of the con and last year I didn’t really have a good interaction with him at autos because he was super exhausted and just not really present in the room it seemed. This year as I approached the table he was smiling, he looked refreshed and SO BEAUTIFUL OMG. He looked up and smiled at me and my brain kind of turned to mush right there. I can pretty much only remember saying “Hi Misha” and something along the lines of “I hope you are having a good morning” which could have easily come out as a mumbled scream, but he smiled and responded that he was doing really well and happy to be here (or something like that as I said I can barely remember it!). I then handed him my TFW2.0 button that I was giving out to everyone I met at the con. I told him “I wanted to give you this, as I am spreading a bit of positivity and love to everyone with this button” and he looked at it and grinned and then looked up and said thank you and WINKED AT ME and in all honestly I think I had already died from staring directly into Misha’s eyes at this point so had to have this all retold to me by Jen afterwards.

Jared

I got really lucky with Jared because he was also in a really good and quite chatty mood when I went over to him. He immediately started asking how I was and when I replied he asked me about my accent (AGAIN since he also picked up on my British accent last year!) and where I was from. When I said I was from London he asked if I was staying in Italy long and I told him that sadly no, I was flying back home on Monday. He goes “Ah bummer” and I sort of shrugged. He then looked down at my Sam funko pop and asked “where shall I sign him?” and I said “oh anywhere you want really!” and he was being really cute like “okay I’ll just sign his head here” and fumbling around with a silver pen. I then also told him that I wanted to give him a button like I did with Misha, and he goes “ooh yes!” and he took it and read it and said “What does TFW mean?” and I just looked at him like “seriously Jared? Team Free Will!” and he laughed and was like “OH YEAH DUH” and he then read it again and fist pumped and said “YEAH TEAM FREE WILL TWO POINT OH!” and we laughed and that was nice. THEN I said “Oh just quickly, I really wanted to thank you for everything you said in your panel yesterday (Jared’s Saturday afternoon panel) because so much of what you were saying about the show really resonated with the fandom and those of us who talk about it and write about it online. Your thoughts just seemed really on point and I thought it was such an interesting and enjoyable panel and I wanted to thank you for that. I loved it.” and he was nodding and smiling and he said “really? You really thought that?” and I was like “yes it was awesome” and he seemed really touched that we were all really interested in what he was saying and he held my gaze for a while and was so attentive and honestly I just love him and both times I have met him now he has been very gracious and attentive and engaged which I think says a lot about how much he cares about his fans.

Jensen

I was the MOST scared to approach Jensen because my auto with him last year (being the only time I actually had a 121 interaction with him at the con) wasn’t really good because he didn’t seem to be in a good mood and wasn’t really interested in interacting with me. I barely got a “hello” from him which made me sad. This year, I really wanted things to go better, and I had my commission from @winchester-reload for him to sign so I was hoping that he’d be in a better mood. 

Well luckily he WAS. He was late for autos, and the staff were really rushing us through. He had three handlers all swarming him and it’s no wonder the guy appears grumpy sometimes. But when I approached he looked up at me and smiled and oh he is so pretty... He says “hi” and grins and that’s the first difference from last year. So I say “Hi Jensen, how are you doing?” and he responds that he is doing great. Then he looks down at the art which has been moved over by Daniela and I tell him that I commissioned my friend to do the portrait when we heard he was going to be Bacchus and he was like “wow really? You commissioned this? It’s really good!” and he was looking at it for quite a while after he signed it, so I pulled out my spare print and said “yeah, she’s really talented and I have a spare print for you if you wanted it?” which he took and seemed really pleased and said “wow thank you so much” (or something like this remember guys my brain is MUSH after this weekend) but yes, he seemed very pleased to be getting his own print of it. Well, at this point the handler to my left is saying “thank you” quite firmly at me trying to get me to move along and literally repeating “thank you” every few seconds and is starting to piss me off, but Jensen side eyes this guy too like he is also aware that he is being rushed and finds it all rather impolite (bless him really he must put up with so much shit) but I stand my ground because I want to give him my button. So I say “one more thing really quickly, I really wanted to give you this. It’s only a little thing but I gave these to the other guys as well because I’m spreading some positivity around about the show and TFW2.0 and it means a lot to me that you know how much we love all these characters” (Or something like this - half the time I ramble I know I say something like this but probably far less articulate on the day) and he picks up the button and looks at it again for what seems like a really long time and then he looks up at me again and smiles this really nice kind of touched smile (I think, it seemed like he was touched) and he mouths “Thank you” and holds my gaze and I can’t really express exactly what it was that he was conveying in that moment but for me it was a really great moment that spoke to me quite a lot.

So all in all it was a great moment and I really hope he takes the print of Jackie’s portrait with him because no doubt Danneel would also LOVE to see it! Here’s the signed version:

Basically I was totally overwhelmed by everything BUT I really enjoyed it and I can’t express enough how lovely and charming J2M were all weekend. All of them seemed really happy, refreshed, and just generally in great moods. It was a huge difference from last year.

Alex

My interaction with Alex was also really lovely and he is such a sweet guy. He scribbled all over a page of my scrapbook and I also gave him a button which he happily accepted. If you’ve had an auto with Alex you’ll know that he has this personalised “A” that he likes to draw as well as to write “Jack” next to his autograph with a backwards “k” which is adorable.

Richard Speight Jr and Rob Benedict

I have to add Rich and Rob here because I had a really good time with both of them at autos. I went to Rich first and I held out my scrapbook and told him he had a whole page to scribble whatever he wanted on. He was immediately like “oooh!” and started drawing. I spoke to him about his direction style and how I always love it when he directs because he manages to make every frame look beautiful. That 12x12 has some of the most gorgeous shot compositions especially and I really hope he keeps directing in season 15. He was really touched by what I said and was like “Really? Thank you so much!” and I said “Yes, and I’m not just saying that because you also act on the show. Seriously, you have a wonderful style and I’m looking forward to what you do next.” He smiles at me and hands me my scrapbook and says “that what you had in mind?” and I said “omg yes thank you so much!” and he laughed. This was what he did:

So then I go over to Rob and I tell him the same thing, to scribble in my scrapbook. But I say “no pressure, but Rich drew me a picture.” and he says “oh nooo” and turns over the page to see what Rich drew. He laughs and faux panics like “so much pressure!” and starts scribbling. So I do my usual “talk about something that’ll interest them” because I hate standing there in silence waiting for them to sign, so I tell him that I’m really looking forward to what Chuck gets up to next in Season 15 now that he’s basically become a sadistic fanfiction writer. He laughs at that and says yes, he’s really looking forward to it because as an actor, it’s always really fun to play a different role, or look at a character from a different angle and playing the villain now is something he is really excited about because he gets to stretch his acting wings a bit. So I tell him I can’t wait to see how it all plays out and then he grins and hands me my scrapbook and I just go all gooey and say “ahh thank you so much. You win.” and he laughs and I think that pleased him. He wrote this:

So yeah basically I left every single auto I had with a brain made of mush just walking on cloud 9. I haven’t even mentioned Ricky Whittle yet... that was... something. But consider that a separate post as this got long. 

Basically I LOVE THIS CAST AND SHOW AND AM SO HAPPY I COULD CRY.