#and now the photo is hanging in the hotel lobby

[junkissed]

wedding night

member — husband!cheol x wife!f reader genre — smut, fluff, newlyweds au word count — 2.3k synopsis — seungcheol just wants to treat his wife right on their first night together as husband and wife. content warnings — cheol calls reader his wife, reader is described wearing a big poofy wedding dress (also a garter), half of this is filth and the other half is cheesy flowery prose oops smut warnings — descriptions of female anatomy, unprotected sex, creampie, oral (reader receiving), praise, fingering, edging, some begging, briefly some spitting & marking, lots and lots of making out, sex while mostly clothed, implied shower sex at the end, cheol has a fat marriage kink and so do i notes — this is inspired by the delusional staff at pledis who decided the concept for fml carat version should be wedding photos! i am crazy. like very much i am so unwell rn. anyway not saying this is for @duhnova but this is definitely for @duhnova

your breath hitches as seungcheol hikes your wedding dress up your leg, layers of soft fabric bunching up between his fingers. his breath is hot on your now-exposed thighs.

flat on your back on the king-size hotel bed, you’re still in the dress you walked down the aisle in. the same one cheol had insisted you wore at the reception; the same one you wore on his private plane on the way to your honeymoon spot where he could barely keep his hands off of you, but resisted because he wanted your first time as husband and wife to be extra special; the same one you had trudged through the hotel lobby in, wrestling the gown into the elevator up to the private suite he had bought.

you grasp the material, struggling a little to hold it all up and out of cheol’s face. “baby, it’ll be easier, i can take this off—”

“no,” he interrupts, tugging on your legs to bring you closer to his mouth, and you yelp, sliding further down the bed. “want you to leave it on. let me fuck my wife in this gorgeous dress i married you in.”

you whine, cunt clenching around nothing at the way he calls you your new title. his wife.

he pushes your skirt up higher, finally revealing what he was searching for: a lacy red and black garter wrapped daintily around one of your thighs. he groans and leans closer to your leg, his teeth grazing over your skin and making you shiver.

he looks up at you, and you can barely see his face through all the layers of silk and tulle, but you can clearly see the familiar lustful look in his eyes. he runs his teeth along the garter, pulling it between his teeth and then letting go to snap it against your thigh.

you hiss at the sting, but the momentary pain quickly fades when your husband grabs your dress from your hands and pulls it over his head, hiding himself between your legs and wrapping his lips around your clit.

you arch your back, hips lifting off the bed when his tongue begins to prod into you, swirling wet circles around your entrance as you writhe in his grip. you can’t see anything that’s going on, except for his legs hanging off the edge of the bed behind you, his top half completely covered.

without the fabric in his way, it’s easy for him to hold your thighs apart beneath the dress, pushing them down hard into the bed so that no matter how hard you try to close your legs around him, it’s impossible to move an inch.

your breath catches in your throat as his tongue moves through your folds, and you can feel his saliva and your wetness dripping down onto the inside of the dress. it’s going to be a pain to wash, but laundry is the last thing on your mind when cheol suddenly pushes his index finger into you, curling up and against your walls at just the right angle that it makes you clench down around him as hard as you can. he curses, the sound muffled underneath the layers of the dress, but continues fucking his finger in and out of you, barely enough room for him to move but somehow he finds a way.

you barely even notice when he slips a second finger inside, followed by a third, your juices pooling in the palm of his hand as he thrusts into you.

as if you weren’t already wet enough, he detaches his lips from you and leans his head back, spitting directly on your pussy.

you cry out his name, lifting your hips to chase his mouth as he uses his tongue to smear the mixture over your folds. he presses his face deeper into your pussy, his nose rubbing directly against your clit, and you feel yourself drawn closer and closer to the edge with each movement, all of it accumulating until you feel like you’re about to snap.

but at that exact moment, cheol’s fingers slide out of you and his mouth leaves you with a pop, and everything you’d been building up to crumbles away in a split second.

“seungcheol, please—”

he pokes his head out from beneath your dress at the mention of his name, bunching the fabric up at your hips. cold air hits your aching cunt, exposed to the temperature of the room now that your lower half is no longer covered, and you whimper at the sudden change.

cheol’s fingers play with the garter’s elastic band, a constant reminder of his presence though you don’t feel any stimulation. “what is it, baby? tell me what you need.”

your cunt throbs, and you whine in frustration, reaching out for him with shaky hands. “need you, cheollie, please. want you so bad. please fuck me.”

he groans and shifts over the bed, leaning over you to capture your lips in his. you taste yourself in his mouth as your lips part, allowing him to slip his tongue into your mouth.

most of his weight is supported by his arms, holding himself over you but still low enough that you’re pressed chest to chest. his suit jacket was shed long ago, and now you tug at his shirt, silently begging him to take it off so you can see him.

and of course he obliges, readjusting his position until he’s straddling you, so he can keep kissing you as his fingers quickly work to undo the buttons of his shirt. as soon as he shrugs it all the way off, he puts his forearms on either side of your head, falling forward to get closer to you, lips smashing with yours like he’s fighting for breath and you’re the only one that can give it to him.

you can feel him rocking his hips against yours subconsciously and you moan, his erection pressed against your stomach through his pants. you manage to pull away from him for a second to breathe, leaning your head to rest against the pillow as you struggle to get oxygen into your brain.

but this only opens up area on your neck for him to mark, and he dives back in fervently, biting and sucking at your skin. you’re sure he can feel your pulse racing beneath his lips.

he bites at your earlobe particularly roughly and you gasp, hands flying up to grasp at his toned back muscles, clawing and trying to pull him even closer than he already is. your eyes flutter shut when he reaches up to cup your chin in his hands, tilting your face back towards him so he can kiss you again.

it seems like you’re there for hours, both almost completely clothed, tangled up on top of the bed with your lips crashing together like it’s the last time you’ll ever see each other, though this is only just the beginning. it may as well have been hours, with the way your cunt aches with need but you can’t bring yourself to stop kissing him.

the feeling isn’t anything you haven’t experienced many times before. you and seungcheol had been together for years before he proposed, years spent filled with passion and love and good memories. but this time feels completely different. maybe it’s all in your head, the post-wedding jitters finally catching up with you and making your head spin. but just the thought of doing the same things you’d done in the past, but now instead as a married couple, makes you feel like a brand new person. a person that belongs with seungcheol, forever.

finally he breaks away, breathing hard with his cheeks flushed and his hair a tangled mess. he moves off of his position on top of you, and you start to sit up and follow him, but he just pressed another breathy kiss to your cheek.

“‘m not going anywhere, baby,” he says softly, running a hand through your hair. “gonna get you some water and then ‘m gonna fuck you like you deserve.”

you whine in protest, but he doesn’t listen, moving off the bed and grabbing a cup and some ice, along with a water bottle from the refrigerator. he sits at the edge of the bed with you while you take small sips. he’s right; your mouth is dry, and the cool water feels so refreshing.

too soon the glass is empty and abandoned on the nightstand, and cheol moves to take his pants off, now a wrinkled mess but he doesn’t care.

he shifts behind you to unzip the back of your dress, gently sliding the fabric off your shoulders. you start to stand up to step out of the dress completely, but he stops you.

“said i would fuck you in this dress, didn’t i?” he whispers. his breath is warm by your ear and it sends a shiver down your spine. “just wanna see a little more of you.”

you moan, letting him slip the top of the dress down to your stomach, exposing your breasts as he slowly climbs on top of you again. “god, you’re so gorgeous,” he sighs, more to himself than to you as his hands slide up your body, gently kneading and squeezing your skin.

he sits back on his knees, bunching your dress up around your waist again to give him access to your cunt, begging to be filled. he pressed two fingers into you, slowly scissoring them back and forth to work you open, but he stops when you whine again.

“what’s wrong, baby?” he asks, his fingers still inside you as he leans down to kiss your breasts.

“i want you, cheol,” you plead with him, your hand on his wrist to stop him from moving. “tired of waiting, please.”

he presses one last kiss to your cheek, then pulls his fingers out of you, finally lining himself up at your entrance.

it’s the same stretch you’ve felt dozens of times, but everything is so different with him now. his arms are planted on either side of you, muscles bulging as he pushes into you slowly, gently. beads of sweat collect at his hairline and begin to roll down his temples until he’s finally sheathed all the way inside you, both of you panting for breath.

after a minute or two you squeeze seungcheol’s bicep, begging him to move. and he does, slowly rocking his hips back and forth at first, before gradually increasing his pace. you can feel every long, deep stroke of his hips as they crash into you, your breasts bouncing as he pushes you deeper into the mattress.

you grab onto his shoulders and hold on tightly, clinging to him for support. his grunts under his breath only spur you on, dragging him closer to you until he’s laying on top of you.

you spread your legs further apart, trying to wrap around his waist but the dress is in the way, and you call his name frustratedly. “seungcheol, please—”

as much as he doesn’t want to pull out, cheol doesn’t like hearing you upset, either, so with a wince he slows to a stop, moving away from between your legs so you can shove the dress away once and for all before he pushes back into you and resumes his pace.

you moan in relief, finally able to feel him like you’ve wanted to all night. cheol curses when you clench around him, and he grabs hold of your thighs and pushes them against your chest. at this angle you can feel him even deeper than before, and you whimper, eyes falling shut as you feel yourself start to come up to the edge of your orgasm.

“are you gonna cum, baby?” he groans, hips slamming against yours. “can feel you getting close, squeezing me so–ah, good. fuck, i love you so much.”

you grab onto his shoulders, your fingers scrambling over his muscles as you try to find something to ground yourself, nails digging into his skin.

his pace never falters, and without warning you let go when he says your name again, “my beautiful wife, look so fuckin’ beautiful, shit.”

you barely register when his hips begin to stutter as he chases his own orgasm, finally succumbing to it with a breathy whine as he releases inside you, spurt after spurt of his cum filling you up before he collapses on top of you.

your ears are still ringing when you finally come down, wrapped up in a blissful state of peace with seungcheol’s softening cock still inside you.

you inhale deeply, holding it in for a moment before exhaling, feeling your body start to relax and that’s when you know you have to get up now or not at all. you gently poke cheol’s side and he rolls off of you, but not before giving you another giggly kiss. he picks you up in his arms and spins you around once, then carries you off to the bathroom to clean up.

although later you find yourself pressed against the cool tile of the shower wall, caught up in another frenzy of kisses, however this time much softer and gentler. between the day’s festivities and the night’s activities, you’re both exhausted, but you couldn’t be happier being tangled in each other’s arms, not bearing to part for more than a few minutes at a time.

with room service ordered and a movie playing on the tv while you wait, you couldn’t think of a better place to be than by seungcheol’s side, not just tonight, but for every night afterwards.

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[lnfours]

summer love | l.n

summary: part 2 to this request but make it ✨summer break ✨

warnings: fluff, language, all the feels, lando being 100% whipped. fem!driver x lando :,)

masterlist | part 1 | ask box

₊‧°𐐪♡𐑂°‧₊

it was officially summer break, a whole month off of racing to recharge the batteries, spend time with family and friends and just do normal people things.

but all you could think about was him. it was sickening. you weren’t sure how or why, but you found yourself thinking about lando a lot more than you should. and you knew you shouldn’t, he was your teammate, but something about that day in the drivers room made your heart rate spike.

you were laying in bed, scrolling through instagram when you had come across his story. you held down the picture, examining it as you looked it over.

it was a picture of the sunset, the location tagged london, england. you furrowed an eyebrow, he spent his summer break at home? before you knew it, you were sliding up, adding a comment underneath the picture.

you’re home for summer break?

you bit down on your lower lip after you had sent it. surely he wouldn’t reply, he was probably off having a good time, enjoying his life and not thinking about you-

yea, feels good to be home. where’d you go to spend holiday?

you clicked at the top of your screen, opening the dms. you had saw the previous dms being memes you had sent one another a while back, the two of you going back and forth about who was funnier.

it was you.

actually, i’m here too 😅

you saw his icon appear at the bottom of your message before it changed to say he was typing. you tried so hard to ignore the way your stomach was doing cartwheels.

out of ALL the places you could’ve chose from, you picked london? stalker much? 🙄

you let out a soft laugh, typing back a whitty response.

you wish i was here to see you, norris 🥱 no, i’ve just never been. always been on my bucket list to come outside of racing

typing…

i do, actually. i miss you

you read it over and over again before another message appeared from him.

also, where are you staying? we can meet up, get coffee or something? i can show you around 😁

okay, now you were internally screaming. you clicked on the photo option, snapping a picture of you in your bed, adding the location of the hotel you were staying in before sending it. he opened it almost immediately, sending another picture back. he was shirtless, sunglasses resting on his nose and you noticed he had grown out his facial hair. the sun was still setting and it looked like he was on a beach.

you’re literally 15 minutes away from me. hang out with me, i’m bored ☹️

you smiled before sending another picture, this time of the tv in the hotel which was currently playing an episode of a show you had seen a million times before.

can’t, busy :/

another picture from him, this time he was in his car. he had a shirt on now, the white fabric making him look tanner, his hair messy. how could someone look so good?

too bad, i know where you are 🥰

you took a picture of yourself giving him the finger, a playful smile on your face.

ok fine, but you’re getting me food

he replied with another picture, this time of his hand on the steering wheel. the mclaren logo on the center was the star of the show, the four little lines on the bottom making an appearance.

deal, see you soon

you double tapped his photo, throwing the covers off of your legs before making your way to your suitcase. you grabbed a pair of shorts and an over size hoodie, tugging it on before fixing your hair. you opted on no makeup, slipping your sunglasses on before grabbing your bag. once you made sure you had everything, you made your way to the lobby.

in the elevator, your phone pinged.

your chariot awaits, m’lady

you rolled your eyes and smiled, typing back a response.

coming to lobby now, mr. uber driver

he double tapped your message and when you walked through the doors of the hotel, you immediately spotted him. he was waiting for you, leaning against the passenger side door. you smiled, approaching him as he smiled back at you.

“hey,” you said, the two of you reaching for a hug. he wrapped his arms around your waist, desperately trying not to hug you too tight as you slung your arms around his neck.

“hey,” he smiled back, “ready for the best tour of london you’ll ever get with your favorite guy?”

you looked around, a playful smile on your lips, “lewis is here?”

he rolled his eyes, shoving your arm softly as he chuckled, “oh, fuck off.”

you laughed back at him, letting him open the door for you. you smiled and thanked him, letting it close as he made his way to the drivers side. you took note of each little personalized detail of the car, smiling softly at how much of his personality was put into it.

“so,” he said, starting the car, “anywhere in particular you wanted to see?”

you shook your head, “no, but if you want, you could show me your favorite places.”

he nodded, pulling out of the parking lot, “i’ve got the perfect place for you.”

you couldn’t help but smile again as you looked over at him. he handed you his phone, spotify open, “play whatever you want.”

you raised an eyebrow, “whatever i want?”

he nodded, “yeah, curious to see what kind of music you listen to.”

you smirked, typing in ‘summer love’ by justin timberlake. the song boomed through the speakers and he laughed, turning it up slightly as he made his way to one of his favorite spots.

after more songs, which may or may not have included some one direction songs (which he surprisingly knew all the words to), and some small talk later, he pulled into a parking spot at the overlook. you both got out, standing in front of the car as you looked out at the view.

“wow,” you breathed, “this is stunning.”

you looked up at the sky as you finally got to see it’s beauty without any light pollution. he smiled, leaning against the car as he shoved his hands in his pockets.

“yeah,” he looked over at you, “it is.”

you looked over at him, “you’re looking at me like that again.”

he raised an eyebrow, but the smile still sat on his face as he shook his head, “no idea what you’re talking about, doll.”

your stomach did a flip and you walked in front of him, your legs between his, “how many girls have you brought here?”

he snorted, “none, only you,” he looked up at the stars now, his neck on display for you. his fluffy curls were pushed back with his sunglasses, his nose and cheeks slightly red and covered in sun freckles from being outside all day. he looked so pretty like this to you, who was still standing in front of him and god you wish you didn’t look awkward staring at him like this, “kind of a place where i come if i need to get away, just think for a little bit.”

you finally adverted your eyes back to the sky, “yeah, this would be the place to do it.”

he nodded, “so, to answer your question, none. guess that makes you special.”

you gasped, “i’m special to the lando norris?”

“don’t start,” he rolled his eyes playfully, “you’re like, P3 at best.”

“well you know what they say about being third,” you said, “they have the treasure chest.”

he chuckled again, the soft breeze of the night whisking a hair in your face. he carefully reached out and brushed it back, “actually, you get 15 points. cmon, you’re supposed to know this, y/n,”

you couldn’t wipe the smile off your face even if you tried, “you would know, huh?”

your phone buzzed in your pocket, pulling it out and reading the notification.

⚠️ time to bereal ⚠️

you clicked on it, looking up at him but he was already looking at you, “wanna be in my bereal?”

“sure,” he said and you smiled before clicking on the notification.

however when you held your arm up, you started laughing and not being able to take yourself seriously. lando laughed with you.

“hurry! take the picture or it’ll be late!” he laughed and you pulled yourself together before laughing again. you weren’t sure what it was. if it was how close he was to you or how happy you were right now, but he took the phone from you.

“jesus christ,” he laughed as he raised his arm up, pulling you in by your hip. you wrapped both arms around his neck, smiling at the camera. he turned the phone around to get the other picture, this time he turned his head towards you and you faced him with a smile. he smiled back, your hand resting on his cheek. the flash went off and he brought his arm down, but you still kept his face in your hand.

you took the phone from him, “thank you,”

“yeah,” he smiled, “anytime,”

you locked your phone, slipping it back into your pocket before looking at him again. he still had the same look on his face, almost like he was-

“i like you, y/n,” he said, “a lot.”

you smiled, heart jumping up to your throat, stomach doing flips, and you swore you were going to pass out when he placed his hand on your cheek, thumb stroking the skin, his fingers starting to move into the hair behind your ear.

“i like you too,” you said, and that was all he needed to hear before he was pulling your neck towards him, lips connecting with yours. your body felt like it was on fire as his hands moved from your face to your hips, shifting as he leaned back against the hood of the car, taking you with him as you laid on top of him.

the kiss got hot, his tongue poking out to lick at your bottom lip. at first you didn’t let him in, which made you giggle against him. but, the giggling turned into gasping the minute he tugged on your hair gently, allowing him to sneak his tongue in.

he finally broke the kiss, the both of you panting. you hadn’t realized that your hands were in his hair, it now being a mess of frizzy, beachy curls. his lips were red and puffy, pupils blown. you were so in love.

your phone buzzed in your pocket, taking it out and almost laughing at the notification. he smiled at you, but raised an eyebrow in confusion, “what? what’s funny?”

you turned your phone around to show him oscar’s comment on your bereal:

oscarpiastri81: WHAT THE FUCK??!?!

he laughed, pulling you as close as he could while you typed out a response to your teammate, “you hungry?”

you nodded, slipping your phone back into your pocket, “starving, actually.”

he nodded, taking your hand in his as you stood up, “i know a really good spot not far from your hotel, think you’ll like it.”

you smiled as he opened the door for you, you thanked him with a quick kiss on his lips, “sounds perfect.”

[babyhatesreality]

Two Sides of the Coin Part 2

Pairing: Daddy!Stucky x Little!F!Reader

GIF by angrythingstarlight

GIF by forchrisevans

Warnings: DDLG (SSC), f! reader, reader is named but name scarcely used, language, pet names, gentle discipline, both Bucky and Steve being secret menaces to each other, fluffity fluff fluff fluff.

YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN MEDIA CONSUMPTION. THIS STORY IS SFW- THE REST OF MY BLOG IS NOT NECESSARILY SO. MINORS DNI. I DO NOT CONSENT FOR MY WORK TO BE STOLEN, COPIED, OR TRANSLATED ONTO ANY OTHER SITE BUT MY OWN. Likes, comments and reblogs are deeply appreciated.

A/N- Part One here! Read under the cut for Part Two :D

The time had come. It was Bucky's team being called upon to go on their good will mission. He had packed his bag, carefully saved the drawing you made for him in his wallet (and brought scotch tape to hang it up in his hotel room), and had all his mission paperwork. But now was the most tricky part- ensuring your silence about your previous shenanigans.

"Okay Trouble," he said to you, bouncing you up and down on his knee to make sure he had your full attention. "Remember- you can't tell Papa what we REALLY got up to when he was gone, no matter what."

"No matter what!" you echoed happily. Bucky nodded, pleased, but he was straining his ears for sounds from the front door. He had sent Steve upstairs to his official office to retrieve a new piece of tactical gear for him, begging to spend some alone time with you before he left for three days. So what if he happened to take advantage of the situation and remind you to behave and not tell on him?

"You promise you won't tell him?"

"I promise!"

"Not even if he asks?"

"Nope."

"Even if he tries to trick you into telling him?"

"He won't do dat!"

"He might- Papa is sneaky."

"I won't tell!"

"Good girl."

"Will you bring me back a present if I don't tell?"

"Don't I always?"

"YAAAAY!!!!"

Bucky carried you in his arms to the launch pad, only handing you over to Steve when Fury barked at him to get his ass on the Quinjet. After a last long deep kiss with his husband and one more bear hug for both of you, Bucky and his team departed. You craned your neck upwards, watching the Quinjet disappear into the cloudy blue sky, Steve watching right along with you. The rest of the Avengers and the littles had gone back inside, but the two of you were quite content, enjoying the sunshine.

Finally, when the plane disappeared altogether, Steve looked at you with a grin. You grinned right back at him. "Let's do it!" you both said together.

See, what Bucky didn't realize was that Steve was fully aware that you two had gotten up to shenanigans- but you were still on your schedule, happy and thriving, and the apartment hadn't been burned down, so he was willing to let it all go. Provided that he got to have his own shenanigans with you too. Steve had quietly explained all this to you yesterday, which made it super easy for you truthfully tell Bucky today that you would keep quiet about your shared mischief. You were totally getting your cake and eating it too.

Steve tossed you onto his back like a koala while you giggled excitedly. You rode piggy back all the way down to the lobby, out the front doors, and down into the streets of New York. The two of you went EVERYWHERE. Steve was enamored with your excitement and wonder and joy- he couldn't get enough.

He took roughly 5000 photos of you running around the top of the Empire State building, just going from side to side, excitedly pointing out and squealing with joy upon identifying landmarks, including Avengers Tower. The two of you took silly selfies overlooking the New York skyline, which was even more fun for you because he was being just as silly as you were. You made a quick swing through the Build A Bear workshop next to the skyscraper- which delighted you to no end- and you got to pick up a new outfit for your furry friends back home.

You then went to Time Square, and you were gobsmacked by the giant screens with all the pretty pictures. Steve kept a tight grip on your legs so you wouldn't be tempted to slide off his back to try to run around, but you weren't even thinking that. It was so much more exciting to be as tall as you were, riding piggyback on your Papa, and getting to see everything from that perspective. He let you choose whatever shops caught your attention to go explore, and even though he would have bought you the world if you'd asked for it, you were just so happy to be looking at spending time with him that you didn't ask for a single thing.

You two went over to Grand Central Station, and he was thrilled to hear your gasp of wonder when you encountered the huge ceiling with all the constellations. You wanted to point out the couple you remembered from when you and Bucky were on the roof, but that would be telling and you weren't spoiling this arrangement for the world. This was way too much fun, letting your daddies be menaces to each other.

You two explored the market, the shops, and you stopped to listen to a lovely violinist who was playing the most beautiful music. It echoed around the stone walls and seemed to make everyone calmer and happier. Steve gave you a bill to drop in the nice lady's violin case, which you did with solemn joy. The farmer's market feel of the stalls was overwhelming- the smells were so unique and beautiful, you almost couldn't speak (a first for you). Papa quietly picked up a few items, and just gave you teasing answers when you asked what they were.

By then you were pretty worn out, so you went back home, and after a quick peanut butter and jelly lunch, you immediately fell asleep on Steve's chest as he cuddled you on the couch. He stayed just like that for your entire nap, just soaking in the moment of peace with one of the people that he loved most in the world.

Later on that evening, he revealed to you that the items he picked up at the Grand Central Station marketplace were for a dinner that the two of you could make together. He laughed as you screamed with joy and ran about 200 laps around the kitchen island in your excitement. You LOVED cooking with Papa. He, of course, handled all the things with knives and fire, but there was still plenty for you to do, including throwing the angel hair pasta noodles against the wall once they were done cooking. When the two of you sat down to your meal, you were so excited at having helped make dinner, that you gave your Papa the longest hug you possibly could, which he returned with relish.

Your next two days were like that as well- Papa taking you piggy back all around the city, playing and exploring and enjoying each other's company. You spent hours in Central Park, you played on the big lions at the library, and you ate the most delicious waffles in Bryant Park. You both didn't discuss it, but you didn't go to the Museum of Natural History or Coney Island. It didn't feel right going without Bucky, so neither one of you really wanted to. The two of you found plenty of shenanigans to get up to on your own.

When Bucky's team returned from yet another successful goodwill mission, you screamed joyfully and jumped into his arms, where he refused to let you go for the rest of the night. Bucky kissed Steve so hard, right on the launchpad in front of everyone, that Steve turned bright red, making you giggle to no end. You gave Bucky the rundown of your time with Steve, which was considerably easier this time around since you hadn't consumed nearly as much junk food. His whispered inquiries into your ear about you not telling on him were met with an approving squeeze and a new stuffie from the country he'd been in.

Once you finally wore out and dropped off to sleep, they lovingly tucked you into your bed with Jellybean. Bucky lingered in your doorway for a moment, watching you sleep happily, before smiling softly, switching on your night light, and pulling the door almost all the way shut. He went back to his and Steve's room, where he found Steve unpacking his duffle for him.

"You don't have to do that, Stevie," Bucky said, but his tone confirmed his appreciation of the gesture.

Steve shrugged and smiled. "I know." Bucky laughed, stepping behind his husband and wrapping his right arm around Steve's stomach.

"Is this trying to make up for whatever the two of you got up to these last three days?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Don't try to play coy with me, Rogers. I know that you two got up to mischief."

Steve simply turned in Bucky's arms, and after a solemn moment, gave him the biggest, cheesiest shrug and grin he possibly could. Bucky laughed out loud, then tumbled the two of them back onto their bed, and they gave each other the most loving homecoming ever.

A/N- Gotta love all those shenanigans :D Thank you for reading!

[lovechrissturniolo]

"Can't sleep"

Chris Sturniolo fanfiction oneshot

contains: Chris is exhausted but can't fall asleep, you come to hang, watch a movie, talk and cuddle, close friendship fluffy fluff

"What's wrong?" I asked Nick and Matt as I entered the hotel lobby after they've texted me to come.

I accompanied the triplets on tour as Memo's camera assistant and was supposed to be off today.

"Can you do us a favor and look after Chris later?" Nick replied. They seemed to be in a hurry.

"Sure, - what happened?" Of course I'd look after Chris, as he's become one of my closest friends during the last months.

"Nick and I have to go, but you could tell Chris doesn't want to be alone..." Matt replied.

"He's been awake for the last 48 hours, didn't sleep on the plane... Now he's over the top, kinda grumpy, hyper and - I don't know!"

"Got you!" I smirked lovingly and winked. "I'll go up to him! Don't worry."

➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖

I knocked on the door. "Chris?"

"Door's open!" he answered from the inside.

"It's me!" I replied as I opened the door a crack, without entering the room right away.

"Come in!"

Chris was lying on the bed in a really weird way and I smirked.

His upper body was hanging upside down from the bottom end of the bed and he was holding the phone in front of his face.

"Are you good?"

"Yeah..." Chris murmured sleepy and rubbed his eyes before he looked at me and smiled slightly.

"You'd like company or no?" I smiled back, lovingly looking at his tousled hair and stubbly beard.

"To be honest, yes!" he replied and got up. "But I can't really do anything, I'm fucking exhausted, man!" Chris sat cross-legged on the bed and rubbed his eyes again.

"But you can't sleep?" I asked, taking a seat next to him. As we had spent most of the last few months together in the cramped tour bus, it wasn't unusual for us to be so close.

"Yeah, I don't know!" he grumbled and rolled his eyes. "I have so much on my mind that I just can't calm down!" He got up and went to the fridge. "Do you want a drink?"

"Yes, water would be great!"

Chris took out a bottle of water and a can of Pepsi and came back to the bed.

"I couldn't sleep with that much Pepsi!" I smiled and winked.

"That's not it!" he replied, but then he hesitated. "Or maybe it is?" and changed the Pepsi for another water.

"Should we just watch a movie and chill?" I asked as he got back in bed.

"That sounds really good!"

➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖

We had put the laptop on the table, lay next to each other in bed and watched Madagascar, as Chris wanted me to choose and wanted it to be something easy.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked, recognizing from the look on his face that his mind was still racing.

"I just remembered that tomorrow is Wednesday and we don't have a vlog yet!" He turned on his side in my direction. "And, since I didn't go with Nick and Matt, I don't have new pics for the photo dump on Friday..."

"Chris, it's only Tuesday now, right?" And we all know about the vlog too!" I interrupted him gently and brushed a strand of hair out of his face. "You don't have to think about that right now! Everything's gonna be fine!"

He nodded and blinked sleepily.

"Can I lie down here?" Chris pointed at my waist.

"Sure! Come here." I replied and opened my arm so that he could lay his head on me.

"I have a feeling I'm forgetting something," he murmured, putting his arm over my hips.

"You're not alone, Chris! We all have the appointments and errands in our heads and written down. Matt and Nick are doing all the preparations for the show right now, you don't have to worry about anything!"

"I should do something too!" Chris yawned and I could picture his eyes getting heavy.

"No, no." I whispered calmingly and started stroking his head. "The only thing you do now - is rest!"

"That feels nice." he mumbled. "Are you staying?"

"I'm definitely staying. If there's anything important, I'll let you know." My voice became quieter and quieter as I noticed his body relaxing.

"Nothing is due in the next few hours and no one's coming back any time soon. You have time to calm down."

His body became heavier and his breathing slow and even.

While I continued to watch the movie, he moved a few more times, half-asleep and snuggled up closer.

At some point he became completely calm and fell asleep.

⬅️ more

I'd die to have that!!

🥹

[sydsaint]

Danny-boy you are so special to me. <3

Summary: Daniel finds himself enamored with Skye's flirty partner in crime.

You and Skye haul your bags out of the back of your Uber and cross the parking lot to the hotel. A few fans are loitering around in the lobby when you come through the door, but you and Skye are used to it by now.

"YN! Skye! We're huge fans! We love you!" A couple of younger girls come up to the two of you. "Can we get a photo?" They ask.

"Sure." You nod. "We've got time for a quick photo, right Skye?" You glance at her for confirmation.

Skye nods, always happy to indulge her fans, as long as they aren't being stalky or rude. You and Skye both rock your signature mean looks and snap a couple of pictures with the girls. Satisfied the girls run off laughing and giggling with one another about the encounter. You and Skye both smile at one another and pick your bags back up.

"That was so cute." You laugh with Skye. "Gosh, I love fans like that." You smile to yourself.

Skye agrees and picks up her bags as well. The two of you are just about to start walking over to the check-in desk when someone else blocks your path.

"You ladies giving out photos?" Daniel Garcia saunters up to the two of you.

"Daniel." Skye blinks at Garcia with an unamused expression on her face.

"Hey, Daniel." You greet Daniel as well, but without the cold shoulder that Skye is giving him.

Skye walks off to get checked into your room and you hang behind to chat with Garcia for a minute.

"Damn, I'd of killed for a photo." Daniel teases you with a grin.

"Awe, poor baby." You giggle. "Guess you'll just have to catch me at my next meet and greet, Danny. And pay like everyone else." You add with a wink.

Daniel chuckles, clearly enjoying the game. "I'd happily dish out some cash if it meant I got a chance with you, baby." He winks at you.

You roll your eyes playfully and head off to join Skye. Daniel watches you saunter off and shakes his head as you go. His eyes follow you up until you disappear into the elevator.

Later into the night you and Skye are hanging out backstage while you wait for your tag match against Willow Nightengale and Kris Statlander. Skye is busy texting with her boyfriend Lee so you're stuck idling around while she stares at her phone.

You lean against a box of camera equipment and wait for Skye to finish her conversation. You watch people walk by with a bored look on your face. That is until you spot Daniel coming your way with Matt Menard at his side.

"Hey, Danny." You bat your thick eyelashes at Garcia as he passes by you with Matt.

Daniel locks eyes with you and you grin to yourself as he stutters out something to Matt as they pass you. Garcia's pace slows a bit and he turns back to look at you before Matt drags him away.

"You looking to take a bite out of Daniel Garcia, YN?" Skye looks up from her phone.

You laugh and turn back to Skye. "Maybe." You grin to yourself. "Garcia is cute, don't you think? And I swear that deep voice catches me off guard whenever I hear him talk." You bite your lip.

"Okay!" Skye laughs and puts her phone away.

You and Skye head down to the tunnel since it's time for your tag match. The two of you have a rough tag match with Willow and Kris that ends in a huge brawl breaking out between the two teams.

Security all file out to the ring and break yours and Willow's team up. One of the security guards yanks you off of Kris and hauls you away. The same thing happens to Skye and the two of you are escorted backstage.

"Okay. Okay! I get it!" You shrug off the security guard holding you once you and Skye are backstage.

The security guard lets you go and steps back from you. Skye is also released and the two of you are given some space to cool off for a minute. Adrenaline pumps through your veins and you wipe some blood dripping out of your mouth from a cut on the inside of your lip.

A deep laugh sounds from the other side of the room and your eyes dart towards the noise. You find Daniel leaning against the wall with an amused smile plastered on his face.

"Damn, YN." Daniel pushes off the wall and walks over to you and Skye. "That was one hell of a fight." He pulls a bottle of water from behind his back and offers it to you.

"Thanks, Danny." You take the bottle from him and uncap it to get a drink.

The cool water soothes the sting in the inside of your mouth from the cut. You turn and offer the bottle to Skye who takes it.

Lee pops up from the locker room to check in on Skye and you find yourself left out once again. At least until you remember that Daniel is still hanging out.

"You doing anything after the show, Garcia?" You turn toward Daniel.

"Nothing I can't cancel real easily, why?" Daniel replies, quickly catching onto what you're hinting at.

You shrug with an amused smile. "I suppose that I could be persuaded to maybe get some dinner with you, Daniel." You tease him. "If you're willing to pay."

"I think I could swing that." Daniel chuckles.

Garcia leans forward and brushes a finger down your arm and a shiver runs up your spine. The two of you smile at one another playfully until you feel Skye tap your shoulder.

"You ready to go get changed?" Skye asks you and you see Lee walk off for the time being.

"Yeah." You nod to Skye before turning back to Daniel. "You want to meet me back at the hotel in a couple of hours, Danny?" You ask Garcia.

Daniel nods. "Yeah, sure." He agrees to meet up with you later. "Wear something pretty for me, yeah?" He winks at you playfully.

"Sure!" You laugh before walking off with Skye.

You head back to the locker room with Skye and get changed back out of your ring gear. You and Skye head back to the hotel and you grab a quick shower before getting all dolled up for your date with Daniel.

You are in the middle of finishing your makeup when Skye skips into the room. "Wow, YN." Skye admires your work. "The makeup looks great!" She compliments you. "Know what you're going to wear?"

"Haven't figured that out yet." You frown. "I didn't really bring anything cute with me." You complain.

"Let me see what I've got," Skye replies before disappearing back into the other room.

You finish your makeup and walk out to the main room. Skye digs through her bag for a minute and eventually pulls out a cute black dress from the bottom of her bag.

"Here, this should fit." Skye hands you the dress and you slip it on.

You slip on the dress and find that it fits damn near perfectly. You admire your reflection in the mirror before putting together your clutch purse. A knock sounds at the door a couple of minutes later and Skye answers it while you're getting your heels on.

"YN, your date is here for you." Skye leans on the doorway.

You get your heels on and meet Garcia at the door. His eyes widen when he sees you and you have to stifle a laugh.

"Well?" You prompt Garcia. "How do I look? Nice enough for you, Danny?" You ask him.

Daniel shakes his head in disbelief before he steps out of the way for you. "You look...wow." He answers you breathlessly.

You giggle and turn back to Skye still leaning on the door. "I'll back back late, Skye. Don't wait up." You inform her.

"Got it." Skye giggles playfully and shuts the door on you.

[ateez-himari]

Behind The Photo

( 230718)

A small giggle could be heard in the parking lot followed by a series of embarrassed scoldings delivered by a deep voice as the vocalist peered up from the camera screen. The rapper's tall frame leaned on one of the seats, posing whilst two of his ringed fingers twitched towards him as a sign for his girlfriend to take the final photo and finally end the awkwardness.

"Will you hurry up already Hima..." He sighed, nonchalantly running his hand across his face in mock annoyance to try and hide his flushed skin. "My arm's getting sore."

"Did I forget to tell you...I took the picture already." The girl's tongue playfully stuck out from between her lips. "Whoopsie~"

"You little-" A grin formed on Mingi's lips despite his attempt at making his words sound threatening, words that were quickly cut off by Himari tossing him the keys to the van before rushing inside of the hotel to escape his revenge.

Delicate fingers hurriedly pressed the elevator button before the idol bowed to the passing hotel staff, who smiled at her visible happiness as she rushed inside the opening doors. While travelling through floors, the glass serving as walls allowed her to observe her boyfriend taking large steps through the lobby, giving him a teasing wave when he tilted his head up.

After finally reaching their shared room and shutting the door as quickly as possible she flopped out onto the bed, letting out a long relieved sigh when the comfort of the mattress welcomed her instead of the hardness of a car seat. Merely moments later a sharp knock came at the door followed by the all too familiar unlocking sound of the hotel door's handle, allowing a large silhouette to lean against the frame.

"So you just had me posing for nothing hmm ? Just cuz you enjoy my embarrassment ?" The rapper's deep voice rasped as he discarded his jacket to the side, pushing the door closed with his foot. "C'mere !"

With that lighthearted order he lunged towards the girl, wrapping strong arms around her body before sneaking his fingers onto her ribs, the light tickling forcing uncontrolled laughter out of her mouth. Her hands came to place themselves above his own in an attempt to pull them away but to no avail, her boyfriend's lips brushing against her temple whilst mumbling something barely audible over her squeals.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry !" She giggled, making his fingers come to a halt. "Besides it's your fault for looking so handsome."

"I know, I wouldn't be able to resist me either." He chuckled in response, leaning back against the headboard to place her between his legs, her back pressed against his chest. "Now show me those pictures you spent 15 minutes taking."

Relaxing into the man's embrace she reached over to carefully pick up the camera from the nightstand, raising it high enough for both of them to get a clear view of the screen. Soft hums occasionally rumbled in the man's chest while he peppered the side of his girlfriend's face in soft kisses, knowing her features well enough to not feel the need to take his eyes away from the pictures being scrolled through.

"What do you think ?" Her voice broke through the silence, the question quickly followed by a long yawn as her eyes glimmering with joy threatened to close a few times.

"I think that you should get some sleep." Mingi replied softly, his large hands gently taking the camera from her grasp to set it back on the table beside the bed. "There's a team dinner in a few hours and we can't have you falling asleep on your plate."

With no opposition to his words she turned around to face him, her knees settled on either side of his legs while he brushed a few strands of hair out of her face and placed a lingering kiss on her lips. He then reached behind his head to remove the several chains hanging on top of his shirt and a small noise of what he assumed to be content echoed in her throat before she finally buried her face in the crook of his neck, arms lazily wrapping around his abdomen as his own secured themselves around her frame.

No one could bother them in this moment, not the media, not the fans, not the management's rules. It was just them, just his hand gently tracing her spine and occasionally stroking her hair while the other held a gentle grip on her hip, just her soft breathing brushing against the skin of his neck, just their own little world where nothing mattered but them.

[ditch-lily]

so I wanna do a little trip/photo dump of my latest jeffy adventure. I may delete this who knows but for now, adventures below!

I tbh wasn't at my best during this trip, I had a bit of a not fun ocd episode while traveling and I do feel like I spent most of the trip trying to get back to my baseline okayness - so to my lovely friends and travel partners thanks for being awesome and treating me with kindness!! I really, really appreciated it 💖💖

okay now time for obnoxious trip slideshow haha

chiang rai was beautiful. we went to an insanely gorgeous garden cafe on the first day

on the second, we went to the white and blue temples

btw I love doing street photography so 2 of my favs from chiang rai:

and now...jeffy day

tbh by the time Jeff was onstage I'd been standing around since 2pm (he got on stage...at 10pm 😭) the things We Do for Barricade. I was soooo sweaty and frazzled by then

it was a very cool set up tho! it was a little music festival, lots of food/etc, and they lit up hot air balloons over our heads

we saw a few performers and slot machine!! who were right before jeff. finally got to see them live and ohmygod did they pop off!! at one point they were in front of us just tearing up the stage for ages, they threw guitar picks at us haha (I did not catch one lol)

and then jeff.....look we all know how that went down

but here's a screenshot of when he Looked at me the first time and i fucking realized if I can see them.....they can see me. no??? jfc i think i like super reacted, flailed backwards a bit I think. i prefer to not beobserved okay?? but anyway and that's why he came for my throat later i believe. demon

then look after jeff it was just jumpscare after jumpscare, bumping into his band member at midnight in our hotel lobby (all the musicians and sound crew were having a big drinking party on the steps of the hotel. jeff wasn't there tho) and then the next morning bumping into rasika checking out etc etc

okay some of my fits on the trip! day 1, then jeffy day and the next travel day, which ended up being the Day we followed Jeff and his team around at the airport, unintentionally

each of these in front of the cupboard nowhere near as good as jeffs lol

some of the treasures i got at the show! these are mainly bread's amazing creations. @patpran thank you so much i adore my jeffy cat stickers ;.;

also (made by another fan) the jeffy pop socket i'm screaming,,,,,should i put it on my phone..

okay now bkk!! i got a few street shots cause i love doing that

then witnessed jeff on the bts and found some cat pants

and went plus size shopping at platinum mall. i knew about the names before hand but oh my god im laughing

and then!!! bang sue junction, which is mile and apo's fav hang out spot for vintage shopping. sadly we didn't bump into them. but it was such an awesome place to explore

we also wrote a lil letter each and wrapped up some presents to send to jeff. i would like to say it takes 2+ ppl to puzzle out a thailand post box and how to put it together (and there was only 2 of us at that point lol ;.;)

okay i was gonna add more but that's heaps, i think. despite my brain being frazzled 24/7 on this trip it was a good one. thank you so much to @patpran who showed me all the cool places and was a very lovely travel partner!!! you were awesome!!!

i'm honestly so grateful i got to go, and have these experiences ahhhhh, i'm gonna treasure it (sorry post trip emo-ness) anyway i gotta get back to work now but, if you've read this far, you're a star haha <3

[chrisbahng-old]

— magnifique

❤︎ — poly!hyunjin + felix + reader, afab reader.

❤︎ — fluff with the slightest bit of mentioned smut at the end, minors dni.

❤︎ — 922 words. part one of two.

Hyunjin needed to get back to his hotel room, and fast. 

It was one thing to be in Paris with Felix, but it was another to bring you with him. 

Felix and him were invited to some formal launch party. For what, the pair didn’t seem too enthralled to know. All they knew was this would be the perfect time to take their lover on a trip they’ll never forget. 

And that was true. You would never forget this time you spent in the city of lights. Your boyfriends spoiled you with fancy gifts, exquisite meals in high end restaurants and memories that you’ll carry forever. What could be more romantic than sipping glasses of wine from the hotel terrace overlooking the city, with a perfect view of the Eiffel Tower? In your mind, nothing, especially when your boyfriends each had a hand on your waistline, telling you that you’re everything they have ever wanted. 

But that is all minor details to Hyunjin right now. You had texted Hyunjin a rather lewd image of yourself in gorgeous red lace with Felix by your side, asking when he would return to the room. 

He was out taking photos for his portfolio but all he wanted now was to take pictures of you, him and Felix. 

After rounding the corner and making his way into the hotel and through the lobby to the elevator rather briskly, he sighed. His pants were growing tight just thinking of what you and Felix could possibly do since he received the text. As the elevator made its way to one of the top floors, he dug in his bag for his room key, wanting to waste no time in getting into the room. 

He made his way down the hall, careful to not make as much noise as possible since it was getting late and he didn’t want to wake anyone solely because he’s horny. 

He made it to the door and clicked the card against the lock, before opening the door and walking in to see you and Felix on the terrace, sharing a bottle of wine. You were dressed in a silk gown and Felix was still in his suit from earlier. Hyunjin sighed at the sight and kicked his shoes off, taking his suit jacket off and hanging it up alongside his camera bag. He walked through the room, seeing an empty wine glass setting out for him. He carefully picked up the glass and made his way to the balcony. The doors were opened and Hyunjin took his place on the left side of you.

“About time,” you giggle. “Been waiting for you, Jinnie.” 

“Mhm,” Felix hums before bringing his glass up to his lips and taking a sip. 

Hyunjin reaches for the bottle of wine, which he finds to be halfway empty. He pours himself a glass before setting the bottle back on the little metal table. “Sorry, I lost track of time.” he apologizes. 

You wave a hand at him, dismissing his apology. “It’s alright, we understand.”

Hyunjin hums in approval before taking a sip of the red wine and looking out over the city. This was a life he could get used to. No cameras flashing in his face all the time, no strict company telling him what he can and cannot do, no worrying about being under the scrutiny of the public. He could get used to the simplicity of this moment; just him and his secret lovers in one of the most beautiful cities in the world having the time of your life. 

Felix reaches over and places his free hand on your waist. Hyunjin does the same and takes Felix’s hand in his. You feel warm at their touch and lean your head back, exposing your neck. Hyunjin takes notice of the lovebite forming right in the middle of your neck and knows you and Felix got up to something while he was gone. He wasn’t mad or upset, no, he never could be with you two. If anything, he’s glad that you two are spending alone time together, it helps grow your bond stronger and stronger. 

Hyunjin looked down at his watch, seeing it was getting later and later. Not that Felix and him had anything to do tomorrow, but he was beginning to grow tired. “What do you say we turn in for the night?” he mentions softly, taking the final sip from his glass. 

You and Felix hum in unison and finish your glasses of wine. Hyunjin let go of Felix’s hand and gathered the bottle and glasses before walking back into the room and setting them on the counter in the kitchenette. 

You took a seat on the end of the bed, your silk cover falling off your shoulders, revealing your red lace to Hyunjin. Felix sat behind you, setting his hands on your hips. 

Hyunjin swallowed hard. He had nearly forgotten all about the picture you had sent earlier. He slowly walked towards you and Felix and stood in

front of you. “You’re gorgeous,” he whispered, taking your hands in his before helping you stand. You look at him with a softness in your eyes and he leans down to connect his lips with yours. Felix stands up and takes his place behind you, hands snaking around your body to find your lace covered breasts. 

“I can’t believe you’re ours.” Felix says, voice raspy. 

“All yours,” you sigh in contentment. 

And from that moment on, Hyunjin knew that he could do this forever. 

© — chrisbahng on tumblr. any reposting/translating or copying is strictly prohibited.

[maffickingcowplants]

Day 3 of 7, Summer 2006

The mysterious disappearance of Bella Goth has sparked renewed interest in Mortimer's book "Close Encounters of the Gothique Kind," the harrowing account of his, Bella's, and Cassandra's alien abductions. The story of these strange and terrifying events, once considered an oddity, now feels all too real to the readers of Willow Creek and beyond.

Mortimer's publicist contacts him shortly after the news article on Bella’s disappearance is published. "Close Encounters" has surged in popularity, leading to a second print run, and the publicist insists this is an opportunity they can’t ignore. Mortimer is hesitant. The idea of promoting his book while his wife is still missing feels wrong, even opportunistic. But his publicist urges him on, suggesting that the interest in this book might lead to even more interest in his upcoming project, which will document his personal investigation into Bella's disappearance.

After much consideration, Mortimer agrees to host a Meet & Greet and book signing, albeit reluctantly. The event is set up in the lobby of a swanky hotel in Willow Creek, where a table is adorned with copies of his book and several missing posters of Bella Goth hang on the walls. The sight of Bella’s face, staring back from the posters, makes his heart ache, but Mortimer steels himself for the event, knowing that every bit of attention helps keep her case in the public eye.

The turnout is impressive, with fans lining up to get their books signed and share a few words with Mortimer. Other celebrities make appearances, offering their support and taking photos with him. As the cameras flash, Mortimer poses in front of Bella's missing poster, a reminder to everyone in attendance that this isn't just a book signing — it's a call to action.

Despite the heavy emotions tied to the event, it’s a success. Copies of "Close Encounters of the Gothique Kind" fly off the table, and Mortimer can see that his wife's story, and by extension his own, has resonated deeply with people. As the evening draws to a close, Mortimer takes a moment to reflect. The interest generated today is not just in his book, but in Bella herself — her life, her story, and her inexplicable disappearance.

Though his heart is heavy, Mortimer knows that keeping Bella's name in the public consciousness is more important now than ever. This book signing was a small victory, but it is still a step forward in the search for his beloved wife.

Posts about Mortimer: « PREVIOUS / BEGINNING / NEXT »

[aishnico]

#𝙅𝙊𝙃𝙉 𝙁𝙍𝙐𝙎𝘾𝙄𝘼𝙉𝙏𝙀: 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘧𝘢𝘥𝘦 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺 (𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙩 𝟮)

» summary: you were engaged and you felt like you were betraying a part in yourself. and one day, you bumped on someone who you thought you would never see again

» word count: 1.9k

» warnings: angst TO FLUFF

» inspired by sarah jio's always novel.

» part 1

— january, 1998

''listen, i already talked with them today and nothing changed. they ask for too much. i mean, we are talking about a hotel's lobby. and the view of it is not beautiful! ugh... you know what? let's just do it in our backyard, yeah? what's wrong with that? it's more beautiful than that stupid lobby. okay okay, let's talk when i go home. you aren't at home? okay then, i'll just wait for your arrival. bye.''

you hang up the phone when you finish talking about your ideas about wedding places to your fiancée. you two weren't the richest people, but your fiancée wanted something really fancy like when rich people get married. you, on the other hand, wanted a small and simple wedding.

you graduated from college a year after you left john. you sold your house when you found yourself a roommate, brenda. she was going to be your bridesmaid in your wedding now. and you were lucky to find a job after your graduation. you met there with a handsome yet squeamish man. you were chill and hilarious, and he was your exact opposite. you've still found him funny in your ways. and what do they say, "opposites attract." maybe because of that you are engaged now.

dating him was like a dream. he would help you with chores, pay for dinner, buy whatever you wanted, willingly go out to new places with you and more...

but sometimes you feel guilty when you're living your comfortable life. because you would wonder about john. he was a drug addict after all. the only things you knew about him currently were that he left the band five years ago in the middle of their world tour and released a solo album two years later. where and how was he? what was he doing right now? was he still alive..?

brenda was willing to help you with the wedding organization. helping you to choose your wedding dress and wedding cake, searching places where you'd like to have the wedding. she called you and said that she found new places you'd like. you agreed on meeting at your usual coffee shop. after almost twenty minutes, you both were there. hugging each other like you haven't seen each other yesterday. you both ordered your coffees and sat in a suitable place. she took off photos from her bag and put them all on the table.

''so, i found three new places that you both may like. they are at hotel's but they have excellent views, trust me.'' she showed you the first place which looked like a wineyard. second was just in a high place, and the view wasn't the best. and the final one was the best one for you. you already forgot the past two places. it had a huge oak tree in it, maybe it was over 200 hundred years old.

she started to give you information about each place. but you couldn't help but stare at the magical tree, it looked like from your dreams. but you couldn't marry him there. you didn't want to admit yourself that he wasn't worthy to marry there

''hello?? [name] are you even listening?''

''yeah yeah, i was thinking about the first one.''

''oh really? i thought you were gonna choose the last one.'' you just smiled at her and concentrated on what was she saying.

after sitting there for forty minutes, you said goodbye to each other before going on your ways. when you were close to the bus station, you bumped into a man and he fell. you gasped and immediately kneeled next to him. ''sir, sir are you okay? i apologize, sir? sir!'' the man groaned with his raspy voice and opened his eyes, looking at your face. you were concerned about him, knowing nothing about what to do.

when you looked at his face closer, you realized he looked familiar to you. but where was he from? he was so skinny, his hair was long and greasy, his lips were dry and ooh, those big pretty brown eyes... you would recognize them everywhere and anytime.

"john..?"

he looked at you for a couple of seconds. he then got up and started to walk opposite to you. you too got up and ran after him. "john, john it's me, [name]! don't you remember me?" you tried to grab his arm but he flinched.

"i'm sorry, i didn't mean to scare you. can we just talk, please?" you pleaded. he was looking at you strangely. you smiled to yourself. "i wasn't really expecting you to remember me."

"how can i forget you? you're one of the things that didn't fade away from my mind."

you took him to your house to ask and talk with him about million things. but he wasn't looking good. so you decided to heat him soup. his hands were kind of shaking and when he tasted the soup, he finished it within seconds. was he hungry, or just hadn't tasted homemade food for a long time? you were watching him in misery. your eyes suddenly moved to his arms.

"what... what happened to your arms?" your voice was shaking. he looked at his arms. "oh i, got them after my house got burned." you said "sorry" in a quiet tone.

when the atmosphere got comfortable, you asked him your questions in order. choosing careful words to not hurt him.

about forty minutes have passed. "it... it was really nice to see you again [name]." he smiled at you. you smiled at him too "same, goes for me." he

then noticed the pictures of you and your fianceé. "you're married?" he asked.

"i'm engaged. we’re planning to marry in august."

"oh, congratulations then." he smiled at you. but you could feel sadness behind it. "thanks" was the only answer you could say.

"well then, I should get going." he stood and started to walk to the door. you walked behind him and stopped him.

"john," you gently held his arm. making him look at you. "you said yourself that you don't wanna live like this anymore. you're hurting yourself both mentally and physically," you then gently caressed his scars. "i, i don't want you to join the '27 club'. you're too young to waste your life. i'm sure that your old bandmates think about that too. we all don't wanna see dying." you gulped. "let me help you."

his eyes were filled now. he shut them and sobbed. then nodded. he hugged you tightly. your eyes too, got filled. you then hugged him back.

you found a program on a hospital named las encinas and registered him on it. you would visit him there often. and you would bring your record player and a couple of vinyls you both loved. you would sing, dance laugh together. your fiancée, on the other hand, wasn't really happy about you visiting and spending time with him. you would convince him that you were only doing these to make him better.

you also noticed he was healthily gaining weight. that made you happy, to see him getting better and better.

after months, he was finally back from hospital. the guys were joyful to see him healthily again. they asked him to join the band again. he was happy to reunite with them. and they started to record their new album, californication.

you were blissful for him. he deserved to be happy again. you felt like a heavy lift just left your body. no more hunting ghosts, you thought.

oh you were so wrong...

you still loved him. you thought hearts and thoughts faded away but they didn't. it pained you. it pained you because you were engaged to someone else. sure you loved your fiancée, but you loved john more. and maybe the thing you loved about him was his love for you, his caring. after you ended things with john, he was by your side when you needed comfort, a love...

you took a deep breath and shared your thoughts with your fianceé. you didn't understand if he was furious, heartbroken or understanding. he yelled to you while comparing himself with john. telling you that he was better than him. he then sat and started crying silently. then giving you an apologetic smile.

"i always loved you. i always loved your presence. i loved being your 'the true one' but guess i was wrong. i wish you nothing more than happiness. take care of yourself, [name]. and don't forget that i'm always by your side. even if not physically."

you hugged him before apologizing to him and thanking him at the same time. you were glad that you separated your ways in a good way.

one day, john asked you if you two could hang out in his house. you agreed on and went to his house. he then greeted you with a heartwarming smile, inviting you in. bell bottom blues by derek and the dominos was playing on the record player.

he cooked for you lasagna and brought a fine wine. you two sat across from each other and started to talk about each other's life, random things and music. after finishing the dinner, you helped him wash dishes. you two then sat on the couch and started to watch SNL.

then you realized that the record player was still playing. you turned your gaze on it. now it was playing layla. you smiled to yourself and went next to the record player. dancing like you wanted. john chuckled at you and after shutting the TV down, he went next to you. you two were dancing like idiots but who cared? you were having fun.

after the last song, you two sat on the couch again, laughing at each other and resting in comfortable silence. after a couple of minutes, he started to talk. "so july is nearly over." you sighed. "i didn't tell you, did i..?" he shook his head. you turned your gaze at somewhere else.

"we... no, i, broke off the engagement." he looked at you surprised. "why? did he do something?"

"no, i did."

"what did you do then?"

you shut your eyes, and took a deep breath. "i, i love someone else, john. and that someone else is you. i never stopped loving you. even after all the bad things that happened in the past, i just can't help it."

his mouth was wide open, and his cheeks got slightly pink. you didn't want to meet with his gaze, but he gently touched your cheek and turned your head to his.

"i never stopped loving you either. never. i feel myself lucky to have found you in high school, i've loved everything about you from the beginning. and felt myself shitty when i started to ignore you, not trying to understand you, lying to you and even though i didn't, it seemed like i cheated on you. i am deeply sorry for everything.

and i am deeply grateful for your caring. thank you for helping me. i never want things to become like that again. i don't want to lose you, not again. i want you to be on my side like i want to be in yours. can we try again?"

you genuinely smiled at him and nodded. wrapping your arms around his neck while crying. he hugged you back immediately. rubbing your back, telling you that if you keep crying, he will cry too. you laughed and let go of your arms.

he was caressing your cheeks genuinely and connected your foreheads. then connected your lips with his, starting a sensual kiss. a kiss full of sadness, longing and pure love in it.

[gaslysgirl]

drunk sex with mick cause those photos lando posted are making me have TOO many thoughts

He’d have that lazy, drunk smile on his face all the time 🤤

You stumbled out of the uber as soon as it pulled up in front of your hotel. Mick’s hand was wrapped around yours, pulling you through the lobby and into the elevator. Both of your eyes were bloodshot and a little red from alcohol and the foggy club. You had been grinding on him on the music the whole night, his hands had been on your ass, your hips, pulling you into him. The more alcohol you had, the more horny you became. Mick had gotten so hard from all the grinding, he nearly begged you to leave the party so you could fuck. Your hands wandered under his black Balanciaga shirt as soon as he pulled you close. “I want you so bad,” Mick growls in your ear, placing a couple of kisses on your neck while you wait for the elevator to reach your floor. Rushed steps are made to the door of the room, his hands on your hips pulling you closer to him while you fiddle with the key card to unlock the door.

Clothes start flying around, your purse thrown in a corner somewhere, heels kicked off, his shirt hanging off the bedside table. Mick’s mouth is everywhere on your body as soon as you’re naked, his lips claiming every piece of your skin, tongue licking at every crevice. “Mick…” you whine, you need him, inside you, right now. His fingers disappear between your legs, feeling your soft, wet pussy. “Shit, babe, you’re dripping,” he says, shooting you a grin. “Think you can ride me?” He hums, pulling you on top of him as he lays back, his eyes nearly falling closed.

Your hand wraps around his cock as you straddle him, spitting on it and watching as it becomes shiny and even more hard for you. You don’t hesitate to sink down on it, feeling your cunt being stretched out by his dick. You lean back on his thighs, grinding down on him, bouncing on his cock. Mick’s head is spinning, and the combination of alcohol and sex is the best pleasure he could ever feel. He does no attempt to silence his sounds, loud grunts and moans escaping his mouth when he watches his cock disappear in your pussy over and over again. He sits up in a haze, an arm wrapping around you as he brings one of your tits to his mouth.

There’s no way either of you is lasting long, and he watches as your hand snakes down to your clit, rubbing the swollen nub as you start to spasm around him. Mick’s eyes fall closed, feeling you cum around him, your pussy squeezing him so tight and luring him into that orgasm. A shiver runs up his spine as he pushes his hips up, filling you with his cum.

[lovesosweeet]

better left unsaid // cth

chapter sixteen

in which orion has leukemia, and calum doesn’t know.

calum hood x fem!oc

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august 13, 2018 melbourne, australia calum

Waking up in Australia doesn't feel like it did a few years ago. It'll always be a special place, and I love being close to friends and family, but truly, it's not home anymore. LA is home.

Actually, now that I think about it, I don't know if that's true. I love LA. It's a rich mix of cultures, an incredible place for us to do our work, great friends are there, the weather can't be beat, and I really don't have any complaints about the city. I just know that there are many other cities that I could live with Orion and Duke that would feel like home, too.

That's where home is: with Orion.

I have to check my phone to see where we are today. I know we're in Australia for another few days, but exactly where we are on the continent and what day it is are two things I don't know without looking. When I tap the screen, it lights up with a few notifications and a photo of Orion and Duke hiding behind them as my background.

It’s only 7 am, which means I have a few hours before we’re escorted around for press interviews and then sound check and the show. Most of my notifications are normal stuff, just random emails about bills, each of the boys letting me know they made it back to the hotel safe last night, etc. I have a few texts from Orion, which is what I click first.

From: my love + stars good morning whenever you see this i miss you so much talk to you soon probs ily❤️

To: my love + stars hi good whatever time it is are you up? got time for a chat? xxx i miss you

Her texting bubble doesn't appear for a few moments, so I sigh and click through the rest of my notifications. There's nothing as exciting as hearing from her. I text my mum, who's still with us since we're still in Aus. All of our mums have joined us for the Australia leg, which we all have a love-hate relationship with.

I ask if she wants to grab breakfast with me, and she does, so I quickly get up and put on a shirt, some sweatpants, and a pair of slides in order to meet her in the hallway of the hotel we're at. She grins when sees me and reels me in for a hug as if we haven't spent the past several days together.

"Good morning," I tell her.

"Good morning," she says. "I already looked and found us a place to go, not too far. Are you ready?"

"Yeah, sure."

Mum and I walk through the fluorescent-lit hallway to the elevator, nodding at the security officer standing guard by it. We ride down to the lobby and head out the back door, running into Matt who's standing outside on a phone call that happens to end right as we're walking out.

"Back by 10:30, Hood!"

"Ay, ay, captain," I confirm, saluting him. Matt rolls his eyes and flips me off. I turn to Mum. "Which way is it?"

"Just this way," she says while she checks her phone for verification. She starts walking to the right, turning onto the street. A few fans are waiting, and I just wave and smile at them all. A stray security guy holds them back while Mum and I pass.

We walk about a block before she pulls me into a small cafe. It's busy, which is a good sign. Lots of business must mean it's good, right?

Mum and I stand in silence, both of us scanning the menu that's hanging on the wall. I pick out a basic breakfast sandwich and will just get an unsweetened latte like normal. If Orion were here, she'd scold me for getting something I can get in LA and she would push me to try something unique.

I look back to the menu, trying to see what I think Orion would get if she were here. I find it quickly. A pistachio rose latte and a kimchi bagel. She'd say they don't go together, but she couldn't choose to get only one of the two. They both sound so good, she'd say.

"Have you decided?" I ask Mum.

She nods. "Yeah, I think I'll just get the bacon egg and cheese and a black coffee."

I smile. Our orders are practically the same. "Sounds good. Wanna grab us a table and I'll order?"

"Perfect plan, thank you."

It used to be hard for her to let me pay for things, but thankfully, over time, she has accepted it and lets me pay now without a fight. She makes up for it by spoiling me with Aussie things when she visits the US, making all of my favorite foods while I'm home, helping clean the apartment, and taking Duke on walks.

I order our food and drinks, taking Mum's coffee from the cashier and plopping a few dollars into the tip jar. While I wait for our food, I take Mum her coffee. She's found a table outside under a blossoming tree, and she smiles at the sight of her hot drink.

"Oh, thank you," she says, happily taking the cup from me.

"'Course, Mum. Happy to buy you breakfast anytime."

She smiles, taking a sip of her coffee.

"Can I take a quick photo of you?"

Her smile grows. She's not as bad about it as Orion, but Mum is always asking for photos. "Yes, but we need one of us, too."

I agree, snapping a photo of her smiling under the tree with her coffee, and then pose for a quick selfie with her. "I'm gonna go back inside and wait for the food."

Once back in earshot of the baristas, so I can hear when they call my name, I open my photos again. Carefully, on the photo of my mum at the table, I draw a light blue stick figure on the chair that will be mine in a few moments. I draw some shoulder-length hair and add a pink heart next to it.

To: my love + stars Image attached pretending you're here with us. will have to bring you someday they have a pistachio rose latte

From: my love + stars WAIT HI SORRY I DIDN'T SEE YOUR LAST TEXT i have time for a chat but you're busy now so dw!! THAT SOUNDS SO YUMMY AND JOY IS SO CUTE

I silently curse our situation. I won't be able to call her until after the show tonight, since once Mum and I get back to the hotel we're headed out for interviews. Then we're going straight to soundcheck from interviews, and once sound check is over, we're typically off our phones and watching the opener, getting ready for the show, and just doing our general goofing off together while we get hyped up. Especially since our families are here, we are present in the moment backstage.

“Calum!” A barista calls my name, making me put my phone back in my pocket. I’ll reply to O later. I grab my latte and the two sandwiches and tell her thank you.

I bring the food out to the patio, giving Mum her sandwich and taking a seat on the empty chair. Mum unwraps her food and takes a picture of it.

I laugh. "Since when do you take pictures of your food, Mum?"

Mum smiles and shows me the picture of her sandwich. "I've been texting updates to Orion. You don't think she minds that there's meat on the sandwich, do you?"

I try not to let my chuckle turn into a full laugh. "Mum, I promise, she doesn't care." Orion is a staunch vegetarian — she has no intention of ever eating meat again in her entire life and she's vehemently against the meat industry, but she also would never expect or ask anyone else in her life to feel the same.

A wave of relief washes over her face and she nods. She types out some kind of text to go with the picture and then locks her phone.

"What else are you sending her?"

Her face lights up again and then she unlocks her phone again to show me her chain of texts with Orion. It's a mix of food she's eating, blurry photos of me onstage, sneaky pictures of me and the boys goofing off backstage, and sunsets. Orion's side of the conversation consists of pictures of Duke and Emelia, coffees, and views of sunsets from our balcony.

I had no idea they were talking this much, and I'm almost a little envious of the pieces of their lives they're sharing with each other but not with me. At the same time, I adore that two of the most important people in my entire life are becoming closer, despite living on different continents and having several years of age between them.

"I'm glad you guys are friends," I say, sliding her phone back across the table.

"How can I not love her?" Mum asks.

It's rhetorical and it's true. I am quite biased, but I can't imagine someone not liking Orion once they spend more than a few minutes with her.

"She loves you," I say. I also feel like Orion loves everyone. It's one of her many incredible traits: she sees the good in anyone and anything.

Mum scoffs. "She loves you."

My cheeks get hot with that and I can't help but smile. "Yeah, I mean, the feeling's mutual."

—

The day flies by. It's a whirlwind of interviews and drives to other interviews and then we're back at the venue, our families all waiting for us backstage.

"Soundcheck in 20, boys!" Matt yells out before he disappears down a hallway. His job never ends.

"Hey, I'm gonna go call O really quick. Haven't gotten to talk to her at all today," I tell Ashton, turning toward the dressing room.

"Yeah, of course, tell her I say hi?"

I nod, patting his shoulder.

"Wait, we all say hi!" Luke yells.

"Actually, I say hey!" Michael follows up, and I just roll my eyes at their antics.

While I walk, I'm tapping around on my phone to call her. I press the phone to my ear and walk into the dressing room, flopping onto the couch as it starts to ring.

It rings three times before she picks up.

"Hi."

Her tone is curt, short, and neutral. She's mad. I brace myself for impact.

"Hi, how was your day?"

"Fine."

She's not giving me anything here, and I wince. My absence from her today must have her feeling upset. I wish she'd just say that, but I also know that she's told me several times that she has been having a hard time adjusting to life without me there with her, and I've basically ignored her all day. I can understand why she might be unhappy with me.

"I'm sorry I've not been texting much today, it's just so busy with our families here and the press all day."

Orion's side of the call is quiet for a few seconds while she calculates the right thing to say. That's how she is when she's upset: calculated. It's either incredibly calculated or she can't hold any of her emotions back. There's no in between. The precision comes when she's been stewing on something for a while.

"Joy didn't seem to have a problem with keeping up with me today. Or yesterday. Or any of the other days that y'all have been in Aus. I think Ashton has texted me more than you have, and we aren't dating."

I don't doubt that Mum has been texting her more than I have, but Ashton? If he's in contact more than we are, then I definitely feel like I've been slacking. It's been a long time since I've been in a committed relationship while on the road. I realize that while Orion and I were together the last time we did a big tour, she didn't realize we were actually dating.

I feel my heart drop a few inches. I don't know what I expected. We live together and have spent so much time together that I don't have a lot of experience with us being apart anymore. I feel like I've been making an effort to stay connected to Orion, but maybe I haven't been making enough of an effort.

Orion sighs and I realize I've been thinking for too long.

"Fuck, I'm sorry, that came off more harsh than I meant it—"

"No, you're fine," I say, cutting her off. "I'm sorry."

I am. She's the most important person in my life, and she deserves to feel like she is.

"Do you want to send me your class and work schedule? I can get Matt to give me mine for the week every week, and each week we can plan a time for each day that we can talk?" It's the most logical way—find a gap and cement it with time for her.

"Cal," she says sadly. Was that not what I should've said?

"I'm sorry, O, is scheduling a time not good for you? I want you to feel like—"

"No, sorry, I just... we don't have to talk on the phone." Her voice is still quiet and veiled in a thin layer of sadness.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, it's nice to hear your voice. I just wish you'd take a few seconds to reply to my texts, even if it's just a heart or something, or if you're headed into an interview just give me that heads up." Her words are still slow, like she's tiptoeing across them like rocks in a stream. "I appreciate calls, just more consistency throughout the day, I guess, would be nice?"

Today especially, I've been pretty much offline. Aside from the handful of texts I'd sent her this morning, it's been almost 7 hours since I last texted her. Yesterday wasn't that different, and neither was the day before. I know that she's right. I really haven't been talking to her that much.

"Yeah, of course, I'll be better—"

"Sorry, and I don't want to be a girlfriend who wants to hear back from you instantly every time and I don't mean that you can't just, like, live in the moment and have fun with everyone. I don't want you to feel like you have to be on your phone constantly to keep me happy, either."

Here it is, the side of Orion where she doesn't have a filter to keep some thoughts inside.

"O, I don't think you're being unreasonable," I say, hoping that'll calm her mind a little. "I will try to be better."

Orion sighs again. "Thank you."

"How was your day today?" I ask. I think our crisis is averted. "It's Sunday there, right?"

"Oh, it was fine. Macy came over and we watched a few movies. Oh, and we split a bottle of wine and watched the sunset on the balcony. That was nice."

I wish I could've watched the sunset on the balcony with her. I remember when we first moved in, Orion would set a timer for 10 minutes before the sunset every night so we could go watch it. After the first night, she insisted we get more mirrors so that the colors can reflect all over the house. We have dozens of pictures of us sitting in golden hour together on that balcony.

It's not happening anytime soon, but one day, when I propose, I'm either doing it on that balcony or on a balcony in Madrid (at sunset of course.)

"Sounds like you and Macy are hanging out a lot?"

Orion laughs. "Yeah, I really like her. She's fun. How's today? I know Joy's been having a great day. The mums all went to get pedicures."

I'd wondered how they were filling their time while we were off with press. Orion isn't even here and she knows more about what the others are doing than I do.

"Oh, y'know," I say. "Same as always. Interviews where I don't really talk, bullying Luke. Walked around a park with Mum this morning."

"Cal, I always tell you. Bullying your best friends isn't okay."

"Babe, he knows we're joking."

"Cal," she warns, and I can picture her stern expression. If she were here, she'd be wagging a finger at me.

"Don't say it," I plead.

"As your former best friend Harry Styles says, treat people with kindness." Not this again.

Ever since she found out that we opened for One Direction, she brings them up constantly. 'Did you see what Louis posted?' she'd ask. 'Can you ask Liam if he still has that beanie?' or 'How did you not know Harry worked at a bakery? You were best friends for two years!'

This bit is arguably my favorite recurring one that she does. It makes me laugh every time. She says it to the rest of the band sometimes, too. Instead of quoting the Bible as instruction to be kind, she quotes our 'former best friend' Harry.

Our conversation is interrupted when Matt bangs on the door to the dressing room.

"Five minute warning, Cal!"

Damn it. Already?

"Babe, I'm sorry, but it's almost time for soundcheck. Did you have anything else you wanted to talk about?"

"No, no, I'm good. I'm sorry for being snippy earlier. I'm glad we got to talk for a bit, even if it wasn't too long," she says.

"It's okay. You're allowed to get snippy," I assure her. "It's always great to hear your voice. Oh, and before I go, Ash and Luke say hi and Michael says hey."

She giggles. "Tell them I say howdy."

I laugh, shaking my head. Always has to be a little different. "Will do. Gonna let you go. I love you very much, and will text you when soundcheck is over?"

"Sounds good. I love you very much, too. Bye."

"Bye."

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[gretavangroupie]

Bloom (Chapter 6)

Chapter 5

Official Bloom Playlist

Warnings: Angst, Smut. 18+ ONLY. Minors DNI

A/N: This was a tough one, I have grown to love them so much. I hope you love them too. Thanks for reading!

“You are like golden hour, it all glows different when you're here...” -Butterflies Rising

Waking up next to Josh is pretty high on your list of favorite things. Legs tangled together, feeding off of each others warmth under the sheets, bodies pressed closely, listening to his breathing. However, when you woke up this morning he wasn’t there. You could hear him though, in the bathroom, taking a shower. You had both slept in pretty late after your long night on Bourbon Street and the events following. Rubbing the sleepy feeling from your eyes you grab your phone and see that it is nearly noon. Checking through your notifications you see Josh walk back into the room wrapped in a towel. 

“Good morning sleepy head!” he smiles and says garbled, his toothbrush hanging from his mouth.

He crouches down digging through his bags looking for clothes.

“Good morning! You are awfully chipper considering how much we all drank last night.” You say smugly.

He shrugs his shoulders and laughs. Finding what he is looking for he stands up and drops his towel to begin dressing and brushing his teeth before heading back to the bathroom.

“Hey sugar, can you do me a favor?” He yells from the bathroom.

“Sure” you reply.

“Can you find my phone and see if Danny texted what time the van is leaving for sound check?” He asks.

Getting up out of bed you stretch a little and walk over to Josh’s clothes laid across the chair, checking the pocket of his pants, and you come up empty. You grab his jacket and check that pocket. Bingo. You unlock the screen and see the text from Danny and open it. 

Daniel Wagner Cell (2-2022): meet in lobby 1:00

Looking up from the text to yell towards Josh, “He said 1:00 babe”.

“Okay, can you send that to Jake and Sam too” he asks.

You quickly send the message off to them and plug his phone into the charger. And go to find him in the bathroom. 

“Hey beautiful” he says grabbing you and pulling you into a kiss. “You’re coming with me right?” He asks.

“Do you want me to?” You ask.

“Of course, everyone goes to sound check” he replies.

“I better get ready, I think we have maybe 45 minutes…” you say.

He smacks your ass as you leave the bathroom to get dressed. 

.

.

.

As you make your way down to the lobby to meet everyone you are feeling a bit hungover. Josh is holding your hand as the doors open and you see everyone congregating near the door. You all make your way to the van that is going to drive you to the arena, fans waiting outside the hotel hoping to snap a photo with the guys. Climbing into the back with the other girls you all laugh and watch them get photos and sign various items before they too climb in. You arrive at the arena about 15 minutes later and head the the green room to meet up with the venue team. The guys choose their sound check songs and play through them without a hitch. You and the girls watch from the empty pit and dance along to your own private show.

.

.

.

The crowd was absolutely electric as the guys took the stage later that night, going absolutely nuts for a song they had not played in a while. Every now and then they will throw a song into the set list that hasn’t been played in a few shows to rile up the fans and they seemed to love it. You and the girls watch from the sound booth in the pit. During the show Josh searches the crowd and sees you standing in the sound booth, he smiling in your direction he says to the crowd, “So many beautiful faces in this crowd tonight, how many times do I have to fall in love?” Your heart swells at the statement and you dance along with the girls to Light My Love, your heart bursting with pride for Josh. 

After the show you all make your way to the green room to hangout and let the guys wind down. Josh hasn’t been able to keep his hands off of you since he left the stage. An hour later, the band is packed up and ready to go back to the hotel for the night. Loading into the van yet again, you feel sad knowing that you leave to fly home in the morning as the guys will head to their next destination. As you and Josh make it back to the room, both exhausted you gather your things and begin packing your bags somberly. Josh connects his phone to a bluetooth speaker and plays some soft music to fill the quiet and empty air in the room. Neither one of you wanting to talk about tomorrow. 

As you hum along to the familiar tune, you hear a notification tone play through the speaker. Josh has his hands full oh shoes and asks “Can you go read that to me incase its one of the guys?”

You walk over to the dresser and tap the screen so that it lights up and Josh looks over to you, blindly shoving the shoes into the suitcase. You read. 

Callie: I miss you, how many days until you’re home?

Stunned, you stare at it for a minute before turning to him to read it aloud,  “Well Josh, its not the guys, it is from ‘Callie’ saying she misses, you and how many days until you’re home?” Your heart breaking as you read it again.

The next thing you know he is jumping up, grabbing the phone out of your hand and throwing it on the bed. Stepping away from him you stare silently as you walk back and hastily start throwing items into your suitcase. 

“No angel, please. Let me explain…” he begs coming to your side.

“What could you possibly say Josh?!” You reply. “That you are sorry that you’re still talking to other people, even though you have a girlfriend?” You say harshly. “That it was an accident?” Your words cutting through him. You zip your suitcase and throw your bag over your shoulder standing up and pushing past him towards the door.

Chasing right after you he moves quickly and stands in front of the door. “Please let me just explain…” he starts.

“Josh I… I can’t do this, please let me go.” You say reaching for the door handle. Your brain clouded with pain and fury.

“Angel, it’s not what it looks like.” He says pleading.

“It doesn’t look good right now Josh! Is this a game to you?!” You reply

“This is not a game! Don’t you get it? I meant what I said last night! I…I didn’t know that…” He struggles to find the words as you open the door and push your bags out. He steps to the side allowing you past, grabbing your arm begging you silently to stay. “Please don’t leave I am begging” he says.

“I have to Josh.” You say, stepping into the hallway. “I don’t know what to think, just let me go and figure this out.” You shut the door behind you hearing Josh’s hand hitting it in frustration as it closes.

Are you over reacting? Maybe? Maybe not? You just knew you needed to remove yourself from the situation before you got emotional and said things you didn’t mean. Hurt taking over every sector of you brain tears fall from your eyes as you make your way to the elevator. 

When you get down to the lobby you roll your bags to a couch and sit and try to process what was happening. Trying to dry your tears before anyone notices, you rest your head on your hands replaying the situation over and over in your mind. Imagining all the possible scenarios of what could be happening. You must have dozed off when you feel a tap on your shoulder. Shooting up you look at the person. It’s Danny.

“What are you doing out here, are you leaving?” He asks.

“Um, yeah, I am supposed to leave tomorrow morning but Josh and I had an argument and I can’t stay with him tonight.” You reply looking at your feet bashfully. This is HIS friend after all.

“Were you just going to sleep out here?” He asks, motioning for his friends to head upstairs without him.

“No, I was going to get an Uber and sleep at the airport I guess.” You say.

“Absolutely not, crash in my room, and I will take the couch in my buddies room. I will not let you sleep at the airport.” He demands.

“Really? Are you sure? You don't have to do this.” You ask.

“I am positive. Let’s go. I’ll grab my stuff.” He says wheeling your suitcase to the elevator. You cancel your Uber. “Thank you Danny, I owe you.” you say, him nodding his head in reply.

You make it to his room, and he grabs a few items from his suitcase before leaving you to the empty room. You lock the door, take a quick shower and crawl into bed, absolutely exhausted from this terribly long day. You check your flight information for tomorrow and see that you have to be at the airport around 11:00 am to make your flight back to Nashville at 2:30, groaning at the lack of sleep you’ll be getting. Your phone buzzes in your hands. Josh is calling you. You let the call go to voicemail. A few seconds later you get a text.

Josh: Where are you? Just tell me that you’re safe. 

You contemplate not responding, but ultimately you do.

You: I am fine. Don’t forget to text Callie back…

He responds immediately.

Josh: Please come back. The happiest I have been in my life is when I have been with you. I need you, please don't leave me.

A sob leaves your chest the tears springing from your eyes once again. Ignoring his message you place your phone on the charger and set an alarm, wiping the tears from your eyes, closing them and ending this terrible night. Your mind wanders, why was your immediate reaction to run? Maybe you should have stayed to hear him out. You were afraid of what he might say. Afraid of all of this being over. It was easier to run than to face the fact that maybe he doesn’t actually feel the same way as you. You were hurt and protecting yourself. Your mind continues until you fall asleep.

When you wake to your alarm you quickly get up and get dressed knowing that Danny will be back to collect his things to load onto the tour bus. As if manifesting it to happen you hear a knock on the door. You rush to open it and Danny walks in and starts packing up his few things.

“You all ready to go?” He asks.

“I am, I am ready to get home. It was a rough night.” You state.

“Im sorry darlin, at least you didn’t have to sleep on the airport floor?” He laughs.

You laugh and nod, thanking him again for letting you crash in his room for the night. You leave him to go grab your charger and stick it in your purse. Your phone has 2 unread texts from and a missed call from Josh.

Missed Call : Josh 7:16 AM

Josh: Baby please call me. I’m so sorry.

Josh: I am so sorry. I messed up and I can explain it. Please don't make me leave here without you.

You feel your eyes welling with tears and your heart constricting in pain. You decide you text him back.

You: Where are you?

Josh: In the hotel room, are you here? Where are you?

You grab your bags and make your way up to his room. You knock on the door and he immediately answers staring at you with red swollen eyes. You can tell he probably did not sleep much last night, not that you did either. 

“Josh…” you say looking at him.

“Im so sorry, I promise I can explain everything but fuck, I have to be downstairs in 15 minutes.” he says.

“I know, and I have to get to the airport but I wanted to see you before you left. I’m sorry I ran out last night, I was hurt and scared.” You say.

“All that matters is that you came back, we can figure out the rest.” He says pulling you into his body wrapping his arms around you in a desperate embrace.

Pulling away from him you decide to get to it,  “Did you fuck her Josh?”

“I did angel” he says defeated.

With tears spilling over onto your cheeks you turn away from him. You don’t want him to see you like this.

“Why?” You ask through a choked sob. “When?”

“It was a few days after we matched, before I met you in person. The guys dragged me out to a bar after we left the studio and we had already been drinking all day. I was wasted out of my mind by that point and I don’t even remember half of it. I must have told her we were leaving for tour, I don’t even remember putting her number in my phone. I know she must have done it angel, I had no desire.” He says trying to explain.

“Well you obviously had some desire if you fucked her Josh. You fucked her and then had the nerve to keep texting me as if nothing happened?” You ask

Running his hands over his face, he replies, “Technically yes that is what happened, but I hadn’t met you yet. I would never have been with her if I knew then what I know now. If I wasn’t drunk I wouldn’t have gone home with her in the first place. This sounds like an excuse but I am trying to be honest with you. You mean everything to me now. You have to believe me. I have no idea why she is texting my phone, I have not once texted her. Please, say you believe me!” he begs

“I want to believe you Josh, I do.” you say choked up.

His phone rings in his pocket, “Hello?” He says quick and angrily. “Yes, Im coming.” and he hangs up.

Throwing his hands up he says, “I have to go right now.” “FUCK!!” he yells. “Baby please believe me. I am so sorry and I will do anything to prove it to you.” He says with his hands on your cheeks. 

“Come on, let’s head down before they come up here looking for me.” he says. You take the elevator down to the lobby, Josh’s manager waiting for him as the doors open. You follow him to the buses and a few people take his bags and start loading them in. 

He pulls you away from the bus, and turns to you again, “Tell me you’re still mine, that you still want this” he says gesturing between the two of you. 

“I still want this Josh but I need to think.” You respond.

“Can I please kiss you before we go?” He asks, eyes longing.

“Yes” you reply knowing that it’s what you want too.

His lips crash into yours. You are desperate for his touch, craving his need to posses your mouth, your body. His tongue finds yours, warm and swirling, his hands on your face, fingers in your hair. He pulls away from the kiss and whispers. “How can you not feel that I love you?”

Looking into his eyes, you say “I do Josh.” with a final small kiss, he pulls away from you and walks towards the bus, climbing on and waving bye. Your heart aching as you watch him go. Now you are really unsure when you will see him again and you know he must be feeling the same way. Your Uber arrives a few minutes later and you head to the airport to catch your flight.

.

.

.

.

You thought about Josh the entire flight home. How it felt to be with him the past few days, the way he made you feel, how he told in a round about way that he loved you…but you also felt the bad parts, the hurt you felt and the uneasy feeling of not knowing. The uncertainty of your relationship and where it stands. You know that it is up to you but you are scared of being hurt. You know that your feelings for Josh are deeper than you thought, you consider that maybe you love him too. Amelia picks you up at the airport and takes you home. You decided to not tell her what has happened just yet, chalking it up to being tired from traveling.

When you get home, you immediately shower and crawl into bed. The overwhelming urge to text Josh consumes you and you give in.

You: I made it back to Nashville. 

He replies a minute later.

Josh: I want to say I am glad you’re home, but I’m not. I already miss you terribly.  I was wondering if I would ever hear from you again. I didn’t want to text you, I am trying to give you some space.

You: I don’t want it, I want you.

Josh: I’m so sorry angel, how can I make this up to you? I will do anything.

You: Promise me that you’re not seeing anyone else? That this won’t keep happening.

Josh: I promise with everything I have. It will never happen again. I actually blocked her number and all of her socials. I deleted that stupid app from my phone... I can’t lose you, that was too close.

You: Thank you

Josh: You are welcome my beautiful girl. Does this mean I get to see you when I come back?

You: Only if you want to…

Josh: I don’t want you to leave my house for a week straight.

You: Did you guys make it to… I don’t even think I had a chance to ask where you were going?

Josh: Yes, we made it, we are in Little Rock now. A whole lot of nothing around here. I wish you were here, this hotel bed is nothing without you.

You: Call me after the show tomorrow?

Josh: I promise. 

You: Missing sleeping next to you, sad we spent last night arguing and away from each other.

Josh: Never again angel. Goodnight.

You: Goodnight Josh.

.

.

.

The guys have played shows in Little Rock, Oklahoma City, and are heading to San Antonio tonight according to Josh. They have about 4 or 5 shows left before they come home for a break for the holidays. Josh has called you every night after the shows and things are starting to feel normal between the two of you again. When he called you last night though, things seemed off. He told you he was feeling sick and that his ear has been getting worse and worse every night after the shows. He is feeling the vertigo again and just wants to make it through these last few shows and get home. You tell him how sad it makes you knowing he is in pain and wishing you could be there for him. 

Around 2 in the morning you wake up to your phone buzzing on your nightstand.

Jake: Hey, can you meet us at the airport in the morning? It will be early.

Rubbing your eyes you read it again. What?

You: What? Yes I can? What’s wrong Jake?

Jake: Josh is done, the vertigo is bad. His ear is fucked. We are pushing the shows and coming home.

You: I knew this was going to happen. I knew he was lying telling us he felt fine.

Jake: He barely made it off the stage tonight. The whole second half was shit.

You: Text me the flight info when you get it.

Jake: You got it, thanks.

.

.

.

Waiting for them at arrive at the airport you are anxious. Your palms sweating and legs bouncing. When they walk through the gate to baggage claim, you see Josh and he sees you. You stand up, and he turns his head to Jake and pats him on the shoulder mouthing a grateful thank you to his twin.

He walks up to you and almost collapses in your embrace. “My angel.” He says with a tired voice. You kiss his head and you walk over to collect his bag from the carousel.

Jake grabs it for him and then grabs his. Walking to your car he throws the bags in the back seat and tells Josh something you can’t distinguish before they do their twin hand shake thing and he walks off to find his girl. You both climb into your car and you set off to Josh’s house.

“What was that?” You ask.

“He threatened to kill me if I hurt you again. Normal twin stuff. He likes you.” He jokes.

He grabs yours hand and brings it to his mouth kissing each of your knuckles.

“How are you feeling?” You ask.

“I feel horrible, the room is spinning constantly, I can’t hear anything out of my ear and I have some sort of upper respiratory infection on top of it. We had to move the shows again. This really is a nightmare.” He says sighing.

“Well, I am going to take care of you, I am going to camp out at your house and wait on you hand and foot” you say smiling at him. “If you want me to of course.”

“I can’t think of a single thing in the world I want more than that.” He says. 

As you pull up at his house you gather his bags and your few things as he unlocks the door and pushes it open. “Yep, exactly as I left it!” He jokes.

“How about you go and get comfortable and I will be in there in a minute? you ask ushering him to the bedroom.

“Promise...?” He asks suggestively.

Rolling your eyes, “yes Josh…”

A few minutes later you head to his bedroom, and he is just getting out of the shower. His hair wet and curls falling on his forehead, body damp and steamy. He is wrapped in a fluffy white towel and it reminds you of the first time you saw him this way and a small smile creeps across your face.

“Whatcha thinking about beautiful?” He asks.

“The first time I saw you like that. Seems like a long time ago.” You say pointing at his towel.

“Convincing you to come to that show was the best decision I have ever made.” He says drying off.

“No, convincing me to stay in that hotel room with you, was.” You laugh.

“You think we can re-enact that night angel?” He says walking towards you.

“Josh, you aren’t feeling well, I am not trying to make it worse.” You reply.

“Please? It is all I have thought about since New Orleans. I hate that I couldn’t be with you that night, it killed me.” He says desperately. Deep down you felt the same way.

“Slow and gentle?” You ask trying to meet him in the middle.

“Exactly what I had in mind” he said reaching for you, his hand making its way to the back of your neck pulling you in and bringing his lips to yours. Your hands cup his face and run through his damp curls and you sneak your tongue past his lips mingling with his. Desperation growing between the two of you, he walks you backwards to his bed and pushes you down falling on top of you, catching himself with his hand next to your head. Reaching down with his other hand he unbuttons your jeans and pulls them down, looking to you for assistance. You grab them and push them all the way off leaving you in your thong and the sweater you chose that morning. His hands find the edge of the sweater and lift it over your head exposing your bare breasts. Running his knuckles over the goose-bumped flesh of you tits, he says “you are the most beautiful woman, I will ever see.” Leaning over taking one of your nipples into his mouth, his hands hold your arms down next to your head. His tongue circling you nipple, he bites it gently and you yelp in pain. His mouth moves to the plump underside of your tit and he sucks it leaving a dark purple-red mark. “Mine” he says husikly. 

“Yours” you reply back. He begins to kiss his way down your stomach with small bites and licks. He gets to the top of your panties, biting the hem and dragging them downward with his teeth.  Once passing the fuller part of your hips he uses both hands to grab the sides and pulls them off all the way before throwing them up towards the head of the bed. His tongue is immediately on you, his tongue licking a warm and wet stripe up your center circling your clit. 

“Josh” you groan.

“Oh baby you have no idea how good you taste.” He says continuing his lapping at your center. Wrapping his arms around your thighs he pushes his head farther into you, feeling his nose on your clit. The air coming out of his nostrils adding even more to the already blissful sensation. “ I need you Josh, please.” You beg.

Coming up from your center you see the evidence of his work all over his face, glistening in the lamp light.

He crawls towards you kissing you violently on the mouth, and you taste your arousal for yourself. 

Josh sits up and pulls the duvet cover over the two of you so that you’re completely underneath and warm. Your legs part to let him slip between and he lines him self up with your entrance. 

You feel the tip of his dick nudge your center and he looks into your eyes. You reach up and drag your nails lightly down his chest, his skin filling with goosebumps. He very slowly slides the head up and down your slit gathering the wetness on the head, before pushing into all the way to the hilt. A soft groan escapes his lips and his eyes roll back at the pressure of you around him.  You put your arms around his torso and pull him in closer to you holding him deep inside of you. He starts to slowly work up a fluid motion of slow gentle pumps into you. Each one calculated and meticulous as he hits that spot deep inside of you. Pressure growing in your stomach, you are enjoying the slow and gentle moment with Josh. He picks up the pace ever so slightly leaning over, kissing your neck and jaw over and over and he lifts his head to whisper into your ear  “I love you”. He pounds into you slightly harder. “Im never letting you go again.” He hits that spot again and you tense up around him as you let go and let your orgasm take you away. “You are so beautiful” he cries as you cum around him. Clawing at his back you hold him inside you while you come down from your high. His pace picks up and he says “I’m going to cum inside of you angel. My beautiful girl” and with one more thrust you feel him grow tense inside of you, cum filling you completely as he groans in ecstasy. Looking at his beautiful face you say “I love you too Josh.”

a smile on his face as his lips crash into to yours for the most passionate kiss you’ve ever shared together.

You both lay there completely in love and enjoying the moment before you hear Josh’s phone ringing from his jacket on the floor.

“Oh here we go…” he says sarcastically before getting up to retrieve it.

“Hello?” He says answering it still trying to catch his breath fully.

“Hey mom…” he says. “Yeah I will be there…” he listens for a minute “Oh he did, did he? Classic. Well, I’m not sure but I will ask.” He says. “Uh huh, uh huh, alright mama, I have to go but I will call you soon and let you know… okay, okay, love you too, bye bye.” he says hitting the little red button. 

Staring at you grinning, not saying what he wants to say, he starts smirking and walks to the bathroom.  He comes back out a minute later, cleaned up and with a wet washcloth for you. Handing it to you you ask  “what Josh, why are you looking at me like that?”

“Well apparently my big mouth brother, told my mother that I have a girlfriend and she wants me to bring you home for Thanksgiving.” He says nervously. 

“Oh.” you say shocked, “Where is home?” 

He replies ominiously shaking his head almost laughing, “Frankenmuth”.

[etes-secrecy-post]

Hi, before I explain my post, I want to say something important.

• What you see my blog has become a major overhaul. And despite the changes, I decided that my 2nd account will be now my artwork blog with a secret twist.

⚠️NEW RULE! (W/ BIGGER TEXT!)⚠️

⚠️ SO PLEASE DO NOT SHARE MY 2nd ACCOUNT TO EVERYONE! THIS SECRECY BLOG OF MINE IS FOR CLOSES FRIENDS ONLY!⚠️

• AND FOR MY CLOSES FRIENDS, DON’T REBLOG IT. INSTEAD, JUST COPY MY LINK AND PASTE IT ON YOUR TUMBLR POST! JUST BE SURE THE IMAGE WILL BE REMOVED AND THE ONLY LEFT WAS THE TEXT.

���️ SHARING LINKS, LIKE POSTS, REBLOG POSTS, STEALING MY SNAPSHOT PHOTOS/RECORDED VIDEOS/ARTWORKS (a.k.a. ART THIEVES) OR PLAGIARIZING FROM UNKNOWN TUMBLR STRANGERS WILL IMMEDIATELY BE BLOCKED, RIGHT AWAY!⚠️

😡 WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT EVER LIKED & REBLOG MY SECRET POST! THIS IS FOR MY SECRET FRIENDS ONLY, NOT YOU! 😡

Okay? Capiche? Make sense? Good, now back to the post…↓

Staycation at the SMDC Jazz Residences (w/ my paper dolls) [Recorded: May 18th to 19th, 2024] - Part 5 (Final)

Hello, May! 🌏☀️ Last Sat and Sun, we're at the SMDC Jazz Residence with my family for celebrating my little brother's birthday, and not to mention ME as a belated birthday! 😊🎁🎂🥳🎊 And I can't take snapshots without my two beloved paper dolls (that we all know)! 📸📲😊

IMPORTANT NOTE: No #OnThisDay throwback post for this date.

If you haven't seen my "Part 1" through "Part 4", then I'll provide some links down below: ↓ • Part 1 [May 18th, 2024] • Part 2 [May 18th, 2024] • Part 3 [May 18th, 2024] • Part 4 [May 18th, 2024]

As well as, my latest "Take a Taste" episode → [CLICK ME!].

So, without further ado, here's my last part ("Part 5") of our experience! 😊

110th to 117th Image(s) 📷📲: ↑

• The next day, after hours of hanging out, eating food, and not to mention celebrating our birthdays (between ME and my little brother), our spending time at the condo was out at noon (12:00 PM 🕛). As we prepare our bags and things, tidy things up, shut the lights, and close the door before we say "goodbye", we'll visit it, again. 🚪👋😊 Here are my last 9 snapshots, featuring a lobby's nice table and a comfy sofa with my paper dolls before we depart from the hotel. 🚶🚶‍♀️🧳🎒💼🏨 And that lead us to...

Overall:

• It was fun for a one-night staycation! While the condo was nice, clean, and nothing fancy around inside the condo in a good way, the only thing we liked about it was the pool itself. "Simplicity" makes us relax at the pool. As for their one-night price, it is cheap at a total of ₱15,000 💵 (roughly $258, as of 2024; ₱2,500 💵 [$43] per adult 👤), with the inclusion of a swimming pool package 💧🏊 that is something around ₱500 - ₱600 💵 (roughly $5 to $6, as of 2024). I'd say, this is A-Okay for us, and we would make another planned staycation, someday.😊👌

Well, that's the end of my topic! More adventures with my paper dolls, coming soon.😊

[ratherembarrassing]

2023: weeks 7, 8, 9, 10 and 11 [13 feb to 19 mar]

this is madness. it's been a crazy busy month. i'm currently in my fourth hotel. let's go.

VACATION!

new york: greenwich village was home for the first week of my vacation. a part of manhattan that i liked to visit a lot when i lived in brooklyn but never a place i've managed to spend as much time as i would like... and still have not. the marlton hotel on 8th was delightful although i encountered far too many australians for my liking. the lobby bar was, as warned of in every single review i read, absolutely packed with people just chilling/drinking/working at all hours of the day, but it was honestly a hoot.

new york coffee: i am notoriously hateful of american coffee, because it's revolting, but the game has been changed in the last few years. every morning i went somewhere different as i set out for the day, and every day i was rewarded handsomely with a decent-to-perfect latte. thank you for embracing the milk based espresso game, new york. i cannot extend my compliments to california.

art: i managed to hit up two art museums i've been to previously (the met, the guggenheim) and two that i had not (the whitney, the frick) while in new york, and the completely out of character pre-modern kick i've been on heavily influenced where i had the most fun.

the guggenheim is home to my very favourite painting, franz marc's yellow cow, but half the permanent collection was down for an exhibition, so he was gone. however, i had seen marc's fighting cows at the met a few days earlier, in which my good friend the yellow cow is hanging out in the background, so i was content.

the met was full of all the classical architecture things i have spent the last few months being weird about, and so is every street in new york, so i was having a great time and my phone is full of photos of completely random buildings all over manhattan. but there was something really satisfying about walking through parts of the building i viscerally remember not having any interest in previously and being like, i know you guys now.

the frick was a similar experience, kind of, in that i have a clear memory of passing on going because i knew it was full of old paintings. not exactly my thing, for the most part, more of an incidental acquaintanceship from often being housed in the same building as art i prefer. i don't remember what specifically prompted me to go this time, but an inadvertent consequence of deep diving architectural history is that i acquired a whole art history education that i never really had, and like, what a difference that makes.

the whitney had a hopper exhibition showing that had pretty much everything he ever painted except for nighthawks, which was weird.

shows!: "are you going to see any shows while you're there?" "is there any other reason to even go to new york?"

this was documented as it happened, but i experienced classical music live for the first time while unintentionally very, very drunk. i've settled on this having been an incredible experience, well done me.

i saw funny girl. it's actually incomprehensible how good lea was in this given that, okay, so. wait, context. so what actually happened was, i had tickets for funny girl on the friday night and the ny phil on saturday night, and lea was out sick friday AND the saturday matinee. i got an email about her being out at 3pm but didn't see it until 6pm, and somehow i still managed to switch both tickets to seats in almost the exact same location and recovered like $100 of the original price in the process. so after being off sick for two shows lea was, honestly, fucking incredible. it's so irritating, but it is what it is.

jessica chastain is currently doing a doll's house (i think it technically opened on march 9 but it's been in previews for weeks). this was wild, as far as these things go. extremely minimal, bordering on avant-garde maybe or just throwing a lot of singular things that other productions have done into a pot together. spoilers for the key staging moments: it started with nora on stage for a solid 10 minutes before curtain (there was no curtain), while the house lights were still up and people were still wandering into their seats and talking, and ended with her walking out through a door at the back of the stage directly onto the street behind the theatre in a moment so baffling i am still chuckling every time i think about it. it wasn't perfect but it's going to stay with me.

an assortment of other things i bought/experienced in new york

an australian goes to an nhl game: i thought i could come to like any sport, but this was really just not my thing. also, the shouting from the crowd during the national anthem made me genuinely uneasy.

the post-metrocard subway. people had commented to me and have asked since if new york "felt different", and this might be the only place where it did feel different. the subway felt empty, and nobody uses the emergency exit anymore, and no more metrocard just feels wrong.

an american biscuit from popeyes. it was delicious. at the time i said i was coming around on the biscuit thing, but then i had one with gravy in california and it was just wrong.

a whole bunch of writing implements and notebooks from good for the study, which happened to be across the street from my hotel. it's maybe one of the hardest things to buy in australia now, as everything else has become easier and this one specific category of goods has not. i spent so much money it was ridiculous. ask me about my pens.

the apple charger adapter kit, because i accidentally packed my european adapter and had planned to use my apple brick exclusively as my means of charging all my shit. so now i have one for everywhere on earth, and that feels like a challenge.

which also lead to me walking past zitomer, because somehow i spent half my time in new york on the upper east side, and tar had reminded me of that new york magazine article about the women who shop at zitomer, and anyway now i own $22 lipbalm in a zitomer lipstick tube.

also, because travel seems to somehow always destroy my hands, i now own hand cream that smells like orange tic tacs. that was from whole foods, though.

los angeles: i drove! in california! pulling out of that avis parking lot was honestly one of the more terrifying things i've ever done. socal was experiencing some weather, and i had to drive to long beach, and i'd spent 20 minutes trying to figure out the carplay controls in a mazda (fucking insane) and it was going to get dark soon, so i had to go. in the end it was great, and the last day i spent driving all over the place and i am fully committed to doing the entire PCH as a trip sometime soon.

the pie bar: it was february 24, which is twin peaks day, so i dragged everyone to this place we found on google, and i ate cherry pie for the first time and it was fantastic, and like the ten or so of the rest of us all had different kinds of pies and everyone enjoyed the hell out of them, so this place was fucking awesome. also they gave us a candle to stick in leah's pie so we could sing happy birthday.

broadway cocktail lounge's karaoke night: long beach really was batting well above its average this night. maybe it was the weather keeping everyone local, but there was a woman who sounded like stevie nicks who did gold dust woman and i'm honestly still thinking about her all these weeks later.

santa monica: a lovely place to be! i stayed at the fairmont, which was very funny because i had previously had brunch in the restaurant there without realising it was the same place. anyway, five star hotels are hilarious and i love them. they brought my ubereats order to my door at nearly midnight, which makes them infinitely better than the intercons that i've stayed at that make you come down and get it yourself. i will but up with that at a four star hotel, but not at a five! i'm kidding, but not really lmao.

disneyland!: go on a rainy monday in february! waltz right into every right! do the star wars rides twice! i fucking love disneyland and will go in the heat when it's packed and queue for an hour for most things, but this was super special just getting to do anything. the new star wars ride is so fucking awesome! take your kids to disneyland!

then i ate a final lax panda express and headed home.

FIVE SHOWS IN TWELVE DAYS!

angel olsen @ melbourne recital centre: i will admit i was jetlagged as fuck and might have nodded off for a second in my front row seat. nonetheless, what a babe.

bikini kill @ forum: happy international womens day! this was all ages gig with a lot of tiny little kiddos there with their cool mums and it was a great time to be in a room with a lot of people there for the vibe.

florence and the machine @ rod laver: that woman is a god damn witch, and i will not be told otherwise. fucking mesmerizing. it's just a fucking treat to see the person who makes some of your favourite music be incredible in front of you.

lorde @ sydney myer music bowl: MUNA opened for her and they slapped.

carly rae jepsen @ forum: the most fun i've had at a concert in ages. i was sweaty and exhausted and full of joy by the end, and unlike everyone else there i didn't get covid. midway through the show i got a text that my 6.30am flight the next morning had been cancelled and that was also very fun!

haloumi baos at blondie bar: this is the always busy spot outside the melbourne recital centre / southbank theatre. they came with pineapple jam. it was so good i went back a week later for pre-lorde dinner and sat on a tiny tiny bench to eat them.

sydney: i am in it. i'm here for work, but yesterday i had brunch at pina in potts point, and this morning i had brunch at porch and parlor and wandered around bondi before i had to spend a few hours working. i'm here for another week and a half, so tell me fun things to do.

THREE COMEDIES IN TWO WEEKS!

am i being unreasonable (season 1, bbc): i watched this on the flight to lax, i had no idea what it was and no way to find out, and let me tell you: that was wild. one of the most intriguing and fucked up and funny things i've watched in a while.

extraordinary (season 1, hulu/disney+): this show is so charming i want to scream. luke rollason, oh my god. he's just a little guy!

the flatshare (season 1, paramount+): i dunno. did anyone else watch this?

okay i'm done, goodbye.

[witchybiitchy]

c’est ça l’amour | l.n

fic masterlist

chapter 9

Sydney’s phone screen reflected the pleasant Austrian sun as she sat on her hotel’s balcony. After a few too many plane trips spent in total boredom, and after informing Daisy of this a few too many times, she’d finally downloaded Instagram and TikTok onto her own phone (with notifications muted of course) and was now enjoying the warmth of the sunshine as she scrolled mindlessly. It was the Tuesday morning of her second week in Austria, the double header allowing the air to take on a taste of orange flare from the Super-Max chanting spectators. It was also the morning after her 21st birthday, and the sun seeping through her pores almost made her able to ignore the mildly nauseous feeling in her stomach, like it was cleansing her body from the outside in.

She closed Instagram and opened her camera roll, attempting to regain some memories of the night before. It wasn’t that she was blackout drunk, but usually big nights out, like the one after her first podium, took on a sort of blurry cross fade in her head, with each recollection fading into another. After Pierre placing P6 and Sydney P7 (not to mention Lando snagging P5), her birthday pub crawl through the relatively small Austrian city of Knittelfeld was definitely celebratory for other reasons.

Scrolling back to 6:28pm, Sydney, re-lived her night from the posed smiling shot of her and Pierre in the hotel lobby, hair coiffed and shoes shined, through to her 4am plate of chips in a family owned tavern, an orange Max Verstappen flag tied around her neck like a cape, each arm around the said family owners, a genuine smile on her face and eyes glinting with the flash. However, Daisy had been responsible for her phone for the entire night, tasked to ‘enjoy herself but take enough photos that it doesn’t matter if I black out’. Looking at most of the photos, Daisy had definitely done her job well.

Sydney had been slightly concerned about her dress choice, but looking at it now she had never been more pleased with herself. Despite her own worries of not matching her ‘image’ of the well-mannered, smiley, and focused girl, sometimes on the quiet side, Daisy had managed to convince her that hardly anyone would see the dress outside of her actual friends, and that she looked good enough it wouldn’t matter. The dress was a warm yellow with swirls of pinky purple, made out of a mesh material just opaque enough to hide what needed to be hidden (with the help of Daisy’s boob tape instructions through the bathroom door). The stretchy fabric tied in three places down the front, with the fabric ends hanging down to the bottom of the mini dress, the hem stopping in just the right place. The sleeves went past the wrist with a flare, and in every photo she looked like a fairy. Her hair was silky and her expression was carefree, the pieces of fabric moving with her in a way that made her look so young.

The yellow of her dress made her stand out amongst the predominant number of men in button ups in every photo, and the motion blur of every picture brought the night to life again. But despite all this, there was one photo she knew she would think about an embarrassing number of times every day. It was at pub number 4, around 2am, and she was dancing on an ornately carved traditional Austrian table. Well, she had been in the moments leading up to the photo. She was barefoot at this point, shoes long lost on the streets of Knittelfeld. Clearly, drunk Sydney needed a breather and had sat down on the edge of the table, legs dangling over the edge as everyone returned to their own dancing. Everyone except for Lando. He stood in front of her, beer in one hand and the other resting on her knee, head leant back in laughter. She had leant forward, also laughing, her forehead leaning on his shoulder and turned in to fully display her shining grin to the camera. Her hands had come to rest on his chest, and one was clearly clutching the fabric of his white button up shirt. Nobody else could ever see this picture, because, as much as she really did want it to be true, they looked like they were in love. She so badly wanted to be able to set it to her lockscreen, be able to post it on Instagram, because not only did she look hot, she looked happy. Instead she settled on clicking the heart down the bottom of the screen and closing her phone. She tilted her head back and felt the sun prick the backs of her eyes. The warmth was nearly as nice as what she felt when she was around Lando.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling twenty-one.” Sydney heard Pierre sing loudly from outside her hotel room door. She would cringe at his volume except for the fact it was nearly 1 o’clock on a Tuesday and most people had left the hotel (or were still asleep). She opened the door for him in her sports bra and pyjama shorts and greedily snatched the McDonald’s bag, turning her back and making a beeline for the deck again before any words were exchanged.

“Mm, good morning to you too, my little cauliflower. I take tips by cash or card.” Pierre said as he sipped his own coffee. He didn’t even flinch as Sydney lifted her feet up to place them in his lap, both of them settled on the deck.

“Your tip is my love.” Sydney replied, mouth full of mcmuffin.

“Oh yeah, I’m really feeling it.” He rolled his eyes before they came back to rest on her knowingly.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” Sydney said accusingly.

“Did you have fun last night?” Pierre asked, a suggestive undertone in his voice.

“Yes, why are you saying it like that? Did I lose my job over it or something?” Sydney’s eyes went wide but Pierre just laughed.

“No, I was just looking through my photos this morning to remind myself of the night and…well you definitely had fun.” Sydney smiled internally at their similarity but grimaced externally at his implications.

“Show me, you sound dodgy.” Pierre’s phone was already halfway out of his phone at her request. While most of his camera roll was focused on Charles, Sydney spotted a flash of yellow in nearly every photo, and it made her feel a little bit better that he had been nearby all night, even if she didn’t realise.

Pierre settled on a video a fair way through his collection, which she soon realised was her table dancing escapade. As he turned up the volume, Sydney could only vaguely recognise the song playing in the background, but her drunk alter ego in the video was singing along to every lyric with a very strong French accent.

“I know I’ve got a big ego, I really don’t know why it’s such a big deal though.” Pierre sang along in a high pitched voice as screen-Sydney moved her hips to the rhythm. Clearly he’d watched this one a few times in the past 10 hours.

“I literally don’t know this song, how am I doing this?” Sydney asked in disbelief.

“I think the question is why, not how.” Pierre cackled as Sydney hit him across the chest.

Thankfully she noticed the video jumped around when the beat dropped, meaning that everyone else was also dancing, not just standing and watching in disbelief and second hand embarrassment. As the song came to a close, there was rapturous applause from the ‘audience,’ and just before the video ended she saw herself sit down and basically sink into Lando, his hands travelling from her knees, as seen in her treasured photo, to around her waist. His head came forward to whisper something in her ear, and her drunk self was mid-laugh when the video ended.

“Do you want that video?” Pierre asked.

“Sure.”  Sydney laughed, trying to sound nonchalant but desperately wanting to replay the 2 seconds of her in Lando’s arms to try and replace the missing memory in her mind. Before she could quiz Pierre more on his adventures from the night, her phone began to buzz. The drop of excitement mixed with terror in her stomach when she saw it was Lando calling was embarrassingly strong.

“I’ll be back in a sec.” She said to Pierre, grabbing her hash brown and sliding the door to the room closed behind her as she sat down on her bed.

“Good morning Lando.” Sydney said as she pressed the green button, trying to sound cool.

“Morning.” His voice was raspy and there was a rustling of sheets in the background. God help me, Sydney thought. “How are you?” He asked.

“I am good, us French can hold our booze.” Sydney said softly, bringing her knees up to her chest as if she was in bed with him. Which was an inappropriate thing to think, but who can stop an overactive imagination.

“I wish I could say the same.” Lando tried to laugh on the other end, but it sounded pained.

“Pierre’s here right now, but I know he has things to do later and is just being a lazy dick, so I could bring you some panadol when he leaves.” Sydney tried not to sound overly keen, but she desperately wanted to be with him again after seeing the proof of their night time interactions.

“That’s alright, I’m a big boy who can get his own drugs.” He audibly turned over in bed, and Sydney laughed despite the drop in her stomach.

“Is that all you called for then? To allow me to acknowledge my superior genetics?” Sydney chuckled. She noticed herself playing with the hem of her shorts, and it was so incredibly schoolgirl of her she almost physically cringed at herself.

“Well, of course. But no, I was wondering if you could send me any photos you took of me last night? I mean, wait.” He said hurriedly as Sydney began to giggle. “I know that sounds bad, I just have genuinely one photo and it’s of you and a plate of chips from 4am and Charlotte wants to post something not driving related and she says I’m making it difficult for her because I have no life.” The speed of his speech nearly doubled, and Sydney would’ve felt bad for making him panicked if it wasn’t so cute.

“I would be happy to Mr Norris. Anything else?” She smiled to herself absentmindedly, already thinking of the picture. Not that any PR agent looking for permanent employment would ever post it, but still.

“Mmm, I think that’ll be it for now. I need to sleep for about another 3 days.” He mumbled, probably into his pillow. It made Sydney blush, as much as she wished it didn’t.

“Sweet dreams then.” She said. She was nearly whispering from how gentle she felt the urge to be.

“Mm, only if you’re in them.” He mumbled again.

“Bye Lando.” Sydney said, trying to convey her appreciation of his words without explicitly saying it.

“Bye Syd.” The sudden loss of connection left her feeling slightly empty, as well as the realisation that he was probably just flirting at the end for a bit of fun, and didn’t actually want to see her today, and that it was almost definitely because of this girl he had a thing for that Sydney kept forgetting about. Even though she was basically invented by her own overthinking, but whatever. Even Pierre heard him talking about a girl. A knocking on the glass brought her out of her spiral, her previously giddy mood darkened to almost sadness.

“I’ve finished eating already, you’re a terrible hostess.” Pierre whinged as he went on his phone, not looking up as Sydney sat back down.

“Sorry, Lando wanted some photos from last night.” Sydney said tentatively, looking up at Pierre’s face to see his reaction at the mention of the English boy. Oddly enough, his face was frozen and his hand was stilled over his phone, and not a snarky syllable left his mouth. “Pierre, you okay?” Sydney asked as she polished off her mcmuffin. Pierre’s fingers began swiping and tapping again but no words were spoken. “Pierre, you’re being annoying, what is it?”

After a few more taps, Pierre looked up with a concerned expression on his face. He turned his phone to face Sydney and for a few moments she didn’t process what she was looking at. It was her tagged instagram posts, but every photo was the exact same one. Clicking on one, she realised with a sick feeling in her stomach what she was seeing. Her phone began to buzz and she knew it was Daisy but she couldn’t bring herself to pick up the call yet.

“Please tell me I’m hallucinating and that’s not what I think it is.” Sydney said. Pierre just looked at her with a pitying gaze.The photo was a little bit grainier than hers, and a little bit more over exposed, but everything was clearly identifiable as a pub full of Formula 1 drivers, engineers and a few team bosses. It was the same pub from 2am, the carved table exactly how it looked in both her photo and Pierre’s video. Except instead of her dancing on a table, instead of her hands scrunched in Lando’s shirt or his hands on her waist, it was something infinitely times worse. He had put down his beer bottle and now both hands were on her hips, venturing to bum territory. Her hands had risen up to his neck, fingers interrupted by his brown curls as they clearly scrunched around the hair. And instead of shit eating, purely joyful grins on their faces, they were connected at the mouth.

“Fuck me, I’m gonna vom.” Sydney said, already feeling the blood drain from her face.

“Sydney-” Pierre began to attempt his ‘it’s-not-that-bad’ talk but Sydney was already running to the toilet. She dropped to her knees and barely felt the cold tile jolt her bones as she began emptying her stomach of this morning’s breakfast and last night’s chips. Pierre’s hands smoothed up the sides of her face and collected it in a sloppy bun after extracting a hair tie from her wrist, now using one hand to rub circles on her back and the other to flush the toilet periodically. Once her heaves produced nothing except air, Pierre ripped a few pieces of tissue paper and wiped her mouth.

“How do you feel, love?” Pierre asked, accepting her gentle sniffles as answer enough while she leaned back into his chest. Sydney’s phone was still buzzing on the bathroom counter above, and she reached up to grab it. She had 7 missed calls from Daisy alongside 16 text messages, another 4 calls from Lando and 8 messages, as well as 2 emails, one from Alpha Tauri’s admin system and another from McLaren’s, both to schedule the same meeting at 2:30pm that day. There were another 10 missed calls above all that, from people like Charles and Daniel and a few unknown numbers. Her phone read 13:42, giving her under an hour to reconcile the end of her career and accept that she’d managed to fuck up her entire life’s work over something she couldn’t even remember.

And fuck, she wished she remembered it. She opened her phone to call back Daisy, instead being met with the photo in question. It was an objectively awful photo, if not for the yellow dress (fuck that fucking yellow dress) and Esteban being unfortunately very visible in the foreground, it could’ve been anyone pashing on that table. And yet, she could just see the hint of a smile at the corners of Lando’s mouth, could nearly feel his warm hands on her hips, barely separated from her skin by that godforsaken dress. If she’d remembered the kiss, then maybe it would’ve been worth it.

“If it makes you feel any better, I didn’t even see you. I don’t think anyone did.” Pierre said quietly, handing her a glass of water she hadn’t even noticed him fill up.

“Thanks P.” She replied even more softly, trying to hold back full on tears. “I don’t even remember it.” Her voice cracked and she couldn’t hold them back anymore.

“Shh, shh, it’s okay, it’ll be fine.” Pierre whispered into her ear, arms wrapped tightly around her shoulders as they stayed sitting on the bathroom floor.

“Syd, are you in there?” Sydney heard Daisy’s voice accompanied by frantic knocking on her hotel room door, along with a few other voices murmuring in what were noticeably stressed tones. She knew it looked really, really bad to be crying in her hotel room with another male driver people thought she was in a relationship with after what had happened, but she also needed Daisy to comfort her, even if it was sugar-coated.

Upon opening the door, Sydney was met with Daisy’s concerned face front and centre, then Charlotte, Lando’s PR agent, directly behind her. Leaning against the opposite wall was Lando, his eyes meeting Sydney’s straight away and not moving away. It wasn’t anger or resentment though, it felt comforting. It felt the same way his hand had felt when he had gently guided her around the cinema in London. She felt, whether or not it was justified, like he was going to take care of her.

“Oh, darling.” Daisy said as she saw Sydney’s puffing, tear-tracked face, and hugged her firmly while leading her back within the hotel room. The three of them sat around the small table in the room and Sydney understood that this was some sort of pre-meeting to whatever was about to go down. Pierre smiled awkwardly at the two PR agents before giving Sydney a final squeeze and seeing himself out. Sydney only realised upon feeling his hands on her bare back that she was still in a bra and shorts, and internally gave herself a smack upside the head. Could she look like any bigger of a whore?

“Now, I think we should start this by clarifying that neither of you leaked this photo, nor do either of you know who did?” Charlotte said, her and Daisy both retrieving their laptops. As professionals, they had both become focused and clinical, contrasting Lando and Sydney’s sombre faces. Lando just shook his head tiredly, and Sydney fondly remembered that he was probably in bed 10 minutes ago. 10 minutes ago when she still had a career. He looked up from the table and met her eyes again, and she just wished that they could talk about this alone, as much as she appreciated Charlotte and Daisy. Sydney also shook her head, and both women began typing.

“Okay, well, as both of you would’ve figured out that this is time for us to figure out our approach before the big boss meeting, because as we love our jobs Charlotte and I both know that we’ll only get talked over by the big men in the room once we enter it and unfortunately for you Sydney, they’ll probably want you to apologise and let Lando escape without a scratch. You know, sexism and that.” Daisy said, ending her sentence with a loud keyboard clack.

“Why? That’s such bullshit, why do we have to apologise for anything, let alone put the blame on Syd?” Lando said, huffing and leaning further down in his chair.

“Because this is what this looks like, from the average Formula 1 fan’s perspective. Sydney, a young, female rookie, has gotten a bit too drunk on her 21st and pashed the first attractive driver she could get her hands on, which happened to be you, Lando, and they’ll assume that it went a whole lot further than that, which I’m fairly confident in assuming it didn’t.” Daisy gave each of them a knowing look. “And now, if nothing is said, Sydney will be framed as a party girl who doesn’t take her opportunity in Formula 1 seriously, and who is willing to endanger the careers of other drivers as she does so. Despite the fact that she’s driving well this season, she probably won’t have her contract extended to next year, and that will suit everyone’s big bosses totally fine because as much as they don’t want to admit it, a female driver performing well in F1 puts their job, and the jobs of every man who is overly represented in this sport, at risk. So, this is our strategy meeting to prevent that from happening. Are you both okay with that?”

Lando and Sydney nodded, the latter sniffling to keep tears from reforming in her eyes. Lando’s sock-covered foot found hers under the table and stretched out to rest their calves next to each other. It was surprisingly very comforting.

“We’ve gotta ask you both a few very personal questions now, but it’ll save you sorting out your relationship details in front of your bosses.” Charlotte said, and both Sydney and Lando’s heads whipped up at the word relationship, and Charlotte smiled subtly to herself.

“First, have you two ever performed romantic or sexual acts together prior to last night?” Even though Charlotte was clearly reading from some kind of template she had made, the question made Sydney blush. Although her mind cast back to their hug after her podium or their lowkey cuddle in the movie theatre, Sydney knew she had to shake her head, no matter how romantic she wanted those acts to be.

“Are you two currently in a romantic or sexual relationship?” More shaking heads.

“After last night, do you two intend on pursuing a future romantic or sexual relationship?” Sydney met Lando’s eyes across the table, and she noticed that he didn’t move his leg from beside hers. He began to fiddle with his bracelet, and she sniffled again, but neither shook their heads. His silence, as much as she wished it didn’t, made Sydney’s heart soar. Maybe he wasn’t just flirting for his own amusement. Maybe he really did feel the way about her that she felt about him.

“Okay, well, whether or not either of you have certain…feelings that you don’t want to express at this point,” Daisy began, “If you’re in this kind of grey area it’s usually easier to just pick a side, black or white. It’s easier to communicate that and avoid repetitive questions if your stance is unchanging. And whether it’s how you really feel or not, Charlotte and I think that, in this situation, asserting that last night was just two drunk 21 year olds having a good time and that nothing more will come from it is easier than your alternatives.” Lando’s blue eyes flicked between different parts of Sydney’s face, and she did the same, looking for answers from his silence. She wished they just had one minute together. Both nodded their heads.

“Okay, well other than marriage we probably have the easiest situation to deal with then.” Charlotte said. Sydney thought she might’ve been making a weird, PR agent joke, but she seemed dead serious as she typed up notes on her laptop.

“Sydney, I’m not gonna lie to you, you’re gonna cop a lot of flack for this. You’re probably gonna be called a slut, people are probably gonna comment on your dress and your drinking, you’re probably gonna be blamed for distracting Lando or for throwing away your career, but as long as you stand your ground and assert that you did nothing wrong, and as long as you keep driving the way you are, this whole thing’s gonna be fine. I promise.” Daisy’s kind eyes made stern contact with Sydney’s, and it took all of her willpower to not break down again.

“It’s 2:05, so you guys can have 5 minutes to talk before you both have to get dressed and leave for the meeting. Don’t be late.” Charlotte said, staring at Lando. Sydney just noticed that he was wearing a Valentino Rossi t-shirt and loose boxer shorts, not that much better than her. As the door shut behind Charlotte and Daisy, Lando’s hands closed over Sydney’s. As his thumbs rubbed over the backs of her hands, she couldn’t hold her tears in anymore and tilted her head down in embarrassment. She felt Lando’s hands leave hers and she was worried that she’d imagined his comforting gaze and his knee against hers underneath the table, and that in reality he was furious with her for creating this nightmare for him just as he was on the up.

“Syd, look at me.” Lando’s voice sounded from next to her, him having moved around the table to be closer to her. Her glassy eyes gazed up at his as their hands connected in between them.

“I’m sorry.” She said, voice trembling as if it was about to shatter.

“Don’t be sorry, it’s not your fault. It’s not anybody’s fault, the whole thing is just so dramatic for no reason.” Lando said, and Sydney knew his sharp tone wasn’t directed at her even though it made her throat clench out of dread.

“Even so, it was my birthday, I probably started it, knowing how I am when I’m drunk.” Sydney laughed half-heartedly.

“So you don’t remember it either? Thank God.” Lando breathed out, and both of them let out a genuine laugh.

“Although, I maybe wish I did.” Sydney said, looking down at their intertwined hands.

“Sort of.” Lando said.

“Huh?” Sydney replied.

“Instead of maybe, you say sort of.” Lando said, mouth forming into a grin.

“This is not the time, Lando.” Sydney scolded, but she couldn’t hold back her grin.

“I maybe wish I remembered it too.” Lando murmured after a few moments of silence.

“We looked like we were having fun.” Sydney said, smiling to herself.

“Yeah.” Lando trailed off. Their foreheads were now resting together, and it reminded Sydney of her original photo. Opening her phone, she was still met with the sight of Instagram, and even when she opened her camera roll to the photo she had favourited, a pit opened in her stomach. But the sight of them laughing, leaning into each other, it made her happy that they existed like that somewhere. Her phone was between them so Lando could see it too. He titled his chin up to kiss her forehead, bringing her in to rest her head on his shoulder as it was in the photo. They stayed like that for what felt like only a few seconds before there was more knocking on the door, and a yell for them to finish up.

Lando stood up reluctantly, not letting go of Sydney’s hand. She leant her head against his stomach and let out another loud sniffle. His hands came to rest on the back of her neck, and she felt his stomach vibrate with his words without actually hearing what he said.

“Hmm?” She asked, standing up and leaning against the table to get closer to his face.

“I said, I’m sad that our drunk selves ruined this. I think sober Sydney and Lando would’ve been much smarter about it.” Lando said, smiling sadly. Sydney internally cursed herself. There was no other girl, he wanted them to be together just as much as she did. And now, because of their stupid, drunk selves, that could never happen.

“I think so too.” Sydney said, feeling butterflies swarm in her stomach as Lando’s hands came to rest on her hips, nearly on her bum, and hers rose to tangle in his hair. As his soft lips connected with her own, she nearly let out a tear at what could now never happen. Despite this, she couldn’t help but smile into the kiss, her smile widening as she felt him smile back. Another knock on the door interrupted them, and Lando fully extracted himself this time, barely looking back as he left the room. It was better that way, Sydney thought to herself. She wouldn’t have let him leave if he started to say goodbye.