#and now they’re chasing him all around the building and this guy is threatening to beat him up

[mrs-kelly]

Once again I dreamt of Charlie but not that we were together, that we were friends and I wanted him to see how much I love him, but he’s so oblivious ahdjfl

[artiststarme]

Van Vandalism

The not-so-long-awaited van vandalism fic based on this snippet! I hope you guys enjoy it and if you have any title ideas, please let me know in the comments!

~*~*~*~

Eddie was having a rough time. While the events of Spring Break were in his rearview, he was still facing the consequences of being branded a freak murderer by the police in a small town. The overzealous Christian townsfolk, now aware of his glaring differences and eccentricities, seemed to make it a goal to make his life as hard as possible. Eddie could hardly leave his trailer without being chased with metaphorical pitchforks. Whether it be by threatening to kick his ass at school or vandalizing his van in the grocery store parking lot, the people of Hawkins were relentless. Eddie didn’t really care about the threats to his own safety or even some minor beatings, he’d gotten used to it through his years of high school. 

However, when the townsfolk started to come after Wayne is when Eddie got concerned. Wayne had lived in Hawkins his entire life and now the people that he grew up with, the people he was friends with, were turning on him because of Eddie. They were spray painting nasty words on the trailer, slashing the tires on the van, and smashing the windows on Wayne’s truck. And Eddie and Wayne? They were losing their patience. They didn’t have the extra money to fix the windows or keep replacing tires. Wayne was pulling doubles at the plant to try to bring in some more money and Eddie was picking up shifts at the garage but they still weren’t bringing in enough to cover for the damages. 

One day after school, Eddie came out of the building to find all four of his tires slashed. He couldn’t even safely walk home either because old Herbert Green and his son had threatened to jump him the day before. So, he stood on the curb staring at his van for three minutes before tears started to drip down his face. 

He didn’t deserve any of this. He didn’t hurt anyone. All he’d ever done was try to create a safe space for outsiders, the people that couldn’t feel safe anywhere else, and now he was paying the price. He wasn’t a murderer! He was just a gay metalhead kid who liked nerdy shit and couldn’t focus in school. But in the minds of all the townspeople, everything about him was grounds for a lifetime in prison. 

He was still staring at his van when he felt a hand wrap around his upper arm. Eddie didn’t even think before spinning around with a fist in the air. 

“Woah,” Steve said as he ducked out of the way of the punch. “Jesus Christ, Munson! I can’t get another concussion, do you even know what Robin would do to me?” 

Eddie sighed in response and sagged against his van, Steve’s hand still wrapped around his bicep. “Sorry dude, you scared me. I wasn’t expecting Sir Steve to be back at his abandoned castle. Which quest hast summoned you to return to your former dwelling?”

Steve’s eyes squinted like they always did when he tried to translate Eddie’s language into modern English. God, it was one of Eddie’s favorite things about him. After a moment, the squint left his eyes and his mouth opened in understanding.

“You, man. The kids called and said the basketball team fucked up your tires. Thought you could use a ride,” Steve said and shrugged. He was still wearing the ugly Family Video vest over a gray polo that hugged his shoulders in all of the right places. “Eddie?”

He shook his head to snap out of it. No straight guy wanted their gay, albeit still in the closet, friend checking them out when they’re trying to do them a favor. Or so Eddie would imagine. 

“Um, yeah. Yes please. I do need a ride. This is the third time they’ve pulled this shit and I won’t be able to afford new tires for a good three weeks. Fuck, how am I going to get to work now?”

Steve hummed before lightly smacking Eddie’s shoulder and ignoring his affronted glare. “I know! You can use my car! I mean, you’ll have to drop me off at work before school and pick me up after but other than that, I don’t really go anywhere anyways. You can just take the Beemer to work, school, and wherever else you go.”

Eddie was absolutely dumbfounded. Sure, he and Steve had become good friends after Spring Break but he was going to inconvenience himself by letting him take his car? “Stevie, I can’t take your car. What if you need it? It’s too much-”

“Eddie. Look man, you can use it for however long you need to. If I need it back, I’ll call you for the keys, okay? Just give me rides to work and pick up the kids if they need to go somewhere. The little shits aren’t riding their bikes anymore.” Steve told him and pressed his keys into the palm of Eddie’s hand. “Now, leave the van for now and give me a ride back to the video store, I still have 6 hours left on my shift and if I’m not back by the end of my break, Keith is going to lose his shit.”

Eddie just smiled and shook his head. He still couldn’t believe that Steve “The Hair” Harrington was actually a good dude. He’d dragged his sorry ass out of hell, lied to the cops to be his alibi, and now was loaning him his car just to make Eddie’s life easier. How’d he get so lucky as to have Steve in his life? Now if only he could get him to switch from the Tears for Fears moaning from the speakers to Metallica. 

When they pulled up to Family Video, Eddie made a move to get out but Steve just grabbed his arm with a, “hey, wait. Where are you going? Your shift at the garage starts in 20 minutes.”

“Yeah so I have to go. If I start running now, I can make it before my lungs give out and kill me.” Eddie said, shaking him off.

“Dude. I was serious about you taking my car, I wasn’t just going to have you go out of your way to drive me to work in my own car. Take it and be back to pick me up at 11:30, okay? Have a good shift,” Steve murmured, patting Eddie’s hand and running into the store. 

And then Eddie was left in the car alone, utterly bewildered and still reeling at Steve’s generosity. But he did have to go to work so off he went. Driving in the Beemer was a lot different than driving in the van. Firstly, there were no weird banging sounds coming from underneath the hood or any screeching noises of the brakes. The ride was silent aside from the horrendous pop music squealing from the radio station Steve had left on low. Next, the ride went smoother. Eddie didn’t have any jocks tailgating him or blonde-haired mothers glaring at him from the curb. He did receive a couple of double takes when other drivers realized it wasn’t Steve Harrington driving his signature Beemer but Eddie enjoyed the looks of shocked befuddlement. Huh, maybe Steve was onto something.  

(What Eddie didn’t know is that everyone that took a double-take wasn’t wondering why Eddie Munson was driving his car but instead, when had Steve gotten back together with Nancy Wheeler?)

When Eddie finished his shift at the garage though and made his way to pick up Steve from work, goddamn Officer Callahan pulled him over. He hated this fucking guy. He especially hated how cocky he looked as he strolled up to the driver’s side window and leaned against it. 

Eddie could only glare at him completely unimpressed as he asked, “can I help you, Officer?”

“Why, as a matter of fact, I think you can! You see, all day we’ve been getting calls of a curly-haired imposter joy-riding around in Steve Harrington’s BMW. Can you explain that?” Officer Callahan was smirking as he explained himself, obviously finding joy in interrupting Eddie’s peaceful night. 

“I’m not joyriding, I went to work and now I’m picking him up from work. Steve lent me his car because someone slashed my tires for the third time this month. You’d know about that though, right? You know, considering I’ve tried to file a report each time. You ever going to do anything about that by the way?” Eddie rebutted. 

“You expect me to believe that Steve Harrington let you, Eddie Munson, borrow his car? How much grass have you smoked?” 

Eddie just sighed in frustration. “Look Callahan, I’ve tried to be nice but you’re pissing me off. Here I am, a law-abiding citizen, and you’re just accusing me of these heinous crimes? Grand theft auto, drug use, what’s next… murder? Oh wait! We’ve been there and I was found innocent of that too! Let me leave or next time I see the Chief, I’m going to tell him that his least favorite deputy was harassing me. Do you want Hopper mad at you? Is that what you need in your life?”

“What… um no. You don’t have to do that. Just, just get where you’re going and make sure Harrington gives us a call at the station about his car. Um, have a good uh night,” Officer Callahan said while awkwardly ambling back to his car. 

Then, Eddie was off again. This time with heavy metal blasting through the Beemer speakers and through the open windows into the wind. He was going to pick up Stevie and treat him to a night full of movies, weed, and junk food like he deserved.

@doubleb11 @nburkhardt @zerokrox-blog @newtstabber @i-less-than-three-you @carlyv @trippypancakes @straight4joekeery

(@anzelsilver you're the only person who reblogged the snippet so here's a tag to the whole fic!)

[heyheydidjaknow]

I’ve wondered this forever and I feel like you’d be a good person to ask? Why exactly do you think L tested the Task Force, particularly Aizawa, with that bait n switch “It’s catch Kira or stay on the police force” situation? I just don’t understand the motive aside from toying with folks for the hell of it. I know he’s an asshole and Ohba describes his perception of L as “slightly evil” but still… a part of me’s always wondered if it was a sort of…? “Purposely making himself look as bad as possible ‘cause he kind of doesn’t like himself” type thing?? Especially since he was already sort of depressed and generally crabby around this arc. But I doubt Ohba was going for that or would even put that much thought into something like that. Maybe? … Maybe he was trying to whittle down the team so as to minimize casualties since the case was now getting into Big Boy territory?

Ah fuck, I dunno, that moment’s always thrown me for a loop and felt weird and out of place. And I know there’s also debate about whether his “I always liked you Aizawa, thanks for everything” was genuine or just him getting the last word/being cheeky. Or both. Maybe I’m just overthinking it? Sorry for the wall of text! If you have any interest or thoughts on this I’d love to hear ‘em!

At around that time the stakes were being raised; he had put all his money on Light being Kira and now that it was proven that he wasn’t he was kind of going in blind. I’ve always seen the scene as a reaffirmation of their resolve; after all, right before that, there was a lot of talk amongst the group about how ridiculous they thought the whole “lock Light and Misa and the police chief in a room until one of them talks” thing was, so it would make sense if after all that they did not have much faith in him and would rather keep their job security and lives than follow someone who had forced their boss to threaten to murder his son and his girlfriend. There is, in that reading, an underlying sense of him not trusting his judgment to go “If you want out now’s the time” and kind of assuming people are going to leave after his stunt.

In regards to the Aizawa line, I do genuinely believe he liked him. I also understand why Aizawa would not think that L likes him; they’re fairly dissimilar on a surface level. But Aizawa prioritizing his dignity and his family over throwing himself in harm’s way for some guy who just sent the whole task force on a wild goose chase after an 18-year-old? Stepping away and not letting the sunk cost fallacy get to him? That takes a lot of guts, guts that we see earlier when he’s ready to rush into the Sakura TV building. He’s got a strong sense of justice and listens to his emotions and his gut, something L, who prioritizes facts and logic when making serious calls in regards to the Kira case and whose trepidation inevitably gets him killed, can respect and admire.

[cinewhore]

To the Ends of the Earth (3)

Pairing: Lara Croft & Marcus Pike (Tomb Raider AU)

Rating: Mature

warnings: mention of missing limbs (looking eye emoji), magical rituals, usual treasure hunter things. 

Summary: After obtaining a seemingly normal piece of art from a flea market, Marcus Pike enlists the help of an old friend in tracking down its origins. They both get more than they bargain for.

A/N: a familiar face pops up in this section! To be honest, I think this is my favorite chapter so far. I really hope y’all like this. credits to the gif maker. 

“Bite me and know that I bite back.”

Ava stares at Lara, blankly, then she blows a huge raspberry.

“Lara, please give me my child.”

Lara smirks as she hands Ava back off to her mother, the cooing child now sticking her tiny fist into her mouth.

Lara wrings her hands together, leaning back on the couch. She has been to Marcus’s house plenty of times, often enough people would think that she lived there but each time she visits it feels different. Like she didn’t belong there. With all the children there now, it was as if the house was getting too small. Not big enough to include her.

“I, uh, want to thank you for letting Marcus come with me. I realize it must be a hard thing to discuss.”

Ginny nods, wiping drool from her fingers absentmindedly. “We had a long talk.”

Lara wasn’t in a relationship but she knew what long talks meant. It meant that there was a compromise made and that there were unspoken things floating around in the air that Ginny nor Marcus would disclose to her. It meant that she had to be careful and play by the rules. Two things Lara wasn’t particularly good at.

“Just keep him safe, please. I want my husband to return to me in one piece, if you can help it.” Ginny tells Lara.

“I’ll take care of him, Gin.”

The twins come bumbling from the back of the house, one with Ginny’s bra on her head and the other with a pair of Marcus’s briefs on. Lara’s eyes widen as they chase each other around while Ginny just stares at them. Marcus isn’t far behind, dragging a suitcase behind him.

“Alright, you little monsters, surrender the bra and underwear to your mother or else.” Marcus warns them. The twins do as they’re told, Oliver pouting.

“But I wanted to be a superhero!” he whines, handing Ginny the wrinkled under garment.

“You can be a superhero by going upstairs to brush your teeth. You too, Tess.”

The twins are reluctant but with a stern look from momma, they trudge up the stairs in unison.

“When will your sister get here again?” Marcus asks Ginny, taking Ava from her. He leaves a few kisses along her face. Lara laughs.

“Tomorrow afternoon.”

“Good.”

Marcus looks to Lara. “You ready?”

Lara stands up, stretching her limbs. “Waiting on you as always,” she turns to Ginny. “One piece.”

“Thank you.” Ginny murmurs. Lara steps outside while Ginny and Marcus say their goodbyes, wanting to provide some privacy.

As Marcus steps into the car, Lara cranks the engine and the vehicle roars to life.

“Where to?” Marcus asks.

“How’s your German?”

“I’m too old for this shit.” Marcus complains, picking at his shirt. “When is Alex meeting us again?”

Lara slips her shades on and sighs. “He’ll be later on. I just need to meet with someone quickly.”

“At a fucking rave? Jesus, way to make me feel twenty three again.”

“The guy owns the place. He’s peculiar but I’m sure he’s got information about the epitaph.”

Marcus nods and follows Lara inside of the building. Security checks them both at the door, allowing them entry when they don’t discover any threatening items. They slide through the grinding bodies, the bass from the music pulsating through their chests. Lara leads Marcus to the VIP area where more security is posted.

The bouncer holds his hand up to stop them. “VIP access only.”

“Clearly,” Lara snarks. “I’m Croft.”

The man relays the name in his headset, waiting a brief moment for a response before letting Lara and Marcus through. The area opens up to a more calm part of the club where a guy is seated in a circular booth. Men and women are all around him, some indulging in heated passions. A red haired woman opens up her mouth and the man slips a colored tab under her tongue.

He looks up from the woman, face curling into a blinding smile once seeing Lara.

“Well, I’ll be. Lara Croft, in the flesh!”

“Ezra. Nice to see you haven’t changed.” She motions around the room.

“Oh, you know me. One must give in to the delicacies of the flesh from time to time. Excuse me puddin’,” Ezra scooches from around the table to greet Lara and Marcus properly.

“Lara, who is this?” Ezra gestures to Marcus who extends his hand out to shake Ezra’s but Lara stops him.

“Married.”

Ezra chuckles. “And what exactly is marriage, I find, is the most pressing question.”

“Happily married. With three children.” Marcus adds.

Ezra thinks on it and decides to leave it be. “Suit yourself, Marcus. Just know, for future reference, I am a gracious lover.”

Marcus smiles and much to Lara’s surprise, he blushes. “Noted.”

“Ok, my prospecting friend, allow me to escort you to my office.”

Ezra prances to a small room set off to the side, parting the beaded curtains. Marcus crosses his arms and leans against the doorway while Lara takes a seat on one of the stools. Ezra mutters to himself while he attempts to organize the clutter on his desk.

“So, if I should do myself the honor of calling you a friend, Lara, that means that you’ve come to me because there is treasure snuffing the surface somewhere. Am I correct in my assumption?”

Lara hums. “As always, Ez.”

He smiles. “Wonderful! Uh, what is it exactly?”

Lara nudges Marcus who takes the lead. “I found one of the panel pieces from this dutch epitaph and it seems that it’s a pretty hot item on the market.”

“Balashov is looking for it.”

This stops Ezra in his tracks, the smile fading from his face. “Ah, our dear old Russian comrade. Never a good thing when he’s involved.” Ezra’s left hand creeps over to his right shoulder, massaging it gently. The once stump was now fashioned with a prosthetic, one that Ezra was hesitant to get.

Marcus senses tension in the air. “Am I missing something?”

Lara speaks first. “We were all employed on a dig in the Amazon. He flipped, Ezra lost his arm. Business.” She shrugs. Ezra does not.

“Taking a man’s arm is no petty thing.” he counters.

“Can you tell us something about the epitaph?” Marcus asks.

“Well, the obvious being that there are three main pieces and I assume that you have one?”

“Perhaps. Can you tell us where to find the other two?” Lara answers.

Ezra clears off his desk by throwing everything on it on the ground, spreading out a large map. “So, according to my studies that epitaph is from a Danish artist, Nanko Bonten,” bonus points for Marcus. “Legend has it that this man dabbled within the dark arts, performing a ritual that allowed him to possess certain powers. He created a portal within this epitaph, which can transport matter from one dimension to another.”

“But my fathers studies, it mentioned something about the Umrah.”

“Yes!” Ezra exclaims. “He stole the ritual from the Umrah, who used it to transport the living to the underworld and vice versa. The art may be Dutch, yes, but everything else is not. When Europe was taken over by the Nazi’s, Nanko was worried that they would take it from him. So he took it apart, scattering the pieces all over the globe. Some mention that he might’ve had a map that disclosed the location of the parts but no one has discovered it.”

“Interesting. And somehow one of those pieces ended up at my local farmers market.”

“Oh, you are a marketer? I fancy the ones here myself. Nothing compares to the fresh nectar of produce that has been grown by the working man’s hands.”

“Does your market carry sausages?”

“The bratwurst is to die for, my friend.”

“Really? I’ve had some while traveling in Italy but you know it doesn’t taste the same.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised.”

“Boys. Focus.” Lara interjects. “Any leads?”

Ezra points to India. “You may find another piece in Mumbai. Rumor has it that Nanko had a lover there who he entrusted a piece to. I’m afraid that’s where my knowledge stops.”

“India, got it. Marcus.”

Lara nods to the door. She thanks Ezra silently.

“Well? Nothing for your guide?” Ezra holds his arm out.

“You still have your left arm.” Lara laughs, both her and Marcus disappear into the flashing lights.

[asterz-playz-official]

I REALLY want to just kind of post the whole draft thingy all at once but I also want to revise it but I also keep getting sidetracked so HERE’S THE DRAFT!!! Pretty much completely unedited! It’s just me rambling about stuff!

So he’s an orphan, because the entire point of him and his sister reaching the train had been to escape from their parents. Fortunately — and unfortunately — the platform is crowded, and busy, bustling with going here and there, trying to make it to the next train, pushing past people who’ve just arrived, shouting to each other, shouting at each other, pushing, shoving, jostling, and all in all, sweeping the poor boy up in the chaos, dragging him along with the human current. He hasn’t got a clue where he’s going. He’s too short to see over the tops of people’s heads.

But after several more moments of claustrophobic, confused movement, the current parts, abruptly dispersing around the boy and leaving him standing, on his own once again, in the middle of a crooked, winding street.

Suitcase clutched in one hand, he stares up at the signpost on the curb, trying to see where he is.

South Avenue, at the intersection of it, fourth, and third. The buildings seemed to loom over the street, giving a nasty, menacing air to the twisted roads, the cloudy, gray sky adding a sinister tone to the whole scene’s atmosphere.

“Hey. Kid.”

The boy turns around, and manages to spot the pair of policemen approaching him, their faces glaring at him from under their hats. His eyes widen, fear flickering in the green and brown irises. But before the cops can even get close enough to grab him, the kid turns, spinning on his heel with the speed of a child who’d been accustomed to making quick escapes, typically from the wraths of a pair of unhappy parents, and streaks down the street, suitcase held tightly against his chest.

“HEY!”

The sound of the quickened footsteps behind him does not deter him, doesn’t make him stop. The boy’s head of ginger hair bobs and weaves as he ducks and zips past pedestrians and shopkeepers, narrowly missing a fire hydrant and almost getting tangled up in the leash of a dog being walked by an old woman with a floral-patterned sun hat, who gives a surprised “oh!!” as he passes her by, the policemen following closely behind.

It isn’t long before his escape attempt is foiled, however.

BUT! Even though the cops are threatening to shove him into the orphanage, he manages to avoid being sent there, because while they’re trying to drag him away, this shopkeeper sees him and goes "that's my boy! Sonny, come here! Thank god you two found him, I've been worried sick!" And so the man took him in.

The man's a watchmaker and clockmaker.

Of course.

Jervis basically apprentices under him, the man teaches him and reads to him and everything.

Favorite book, Alice in wonderland, (starts off innocent and all that, y’know)

Man looks like Geppetto or whatever his name is

Man eventually dies of old age, jervis can't inherit the shop cause of legal reasons regarding the man's will, but fortunately he's now old enough to find a job for himself.

He keeps the Alice in wonderland book, as a memento, and... tucked inside..... or perhaps in the spine of the book.... there's a single small pocketwatch, on a chain.

Made for Tetch.

With a beautifully engraved little hat on the outside, and jervis's initials on the inside.

One last little gift from the old man.

Jervis obviously keeps the book, and the watch, and reads it every night before he goes to sleep, never going ANYWHERE without either the book or the watch, because of both sentimentality and fear of either of them being stolen.

He has to rent a motel room for a couple of nights. And then gets chased out by the manager, cause he can't afford it for more than a few nights.

Then he stumbles upon a casino/bar thingy.

Decides he might as well try his luck there, and see if they're hiring.

Some guy there (it's not joker don't worry it's just a random citizen) who's drunk and sees that he has a pocketwatch is like "Ey!!! You got one of those hypno-shizzle things??!" Which puts jervis on edge, cause this place isn't exactly the sort of place you'd go to AVOID criminals who want to steal your fantastic-condition antique book and/or pocketwatch-

"Lemme see!!!! Do the thing!!!!!"

And he has NO idea what the guy's talking about, at first, but then he realizes the guy wants him to "do the thing" that he's seen people do on tv-

With the swinging-a-thing-side-to-side thing.

Y’know………, hypnosis.

*wink wink hint hint winkity wink wink williffifillink-* /goofy

So, EXTREMELY embarrassed,

uncomfortable, and nervous about how many drunk people are suddenly watching him out of the corners of their eyes, he picks the pocketwatch up by the chain, opens it - for effect, and slowly "does the thing", feeling EXTREMELY silly but trying not to show it as he tries to gently swing the pocketwatch back and forth.

Trying to remember what the people on television used to do, he summons up the most dramatic, hypnosis- voice he can possibly manage, again trying not to feel TOO self-conscious....

…and goes through the basic instructions, passing off the man's startlingly prompt obedience of the instructions as just the man mocking him-

Until he says to do something absolutely

INSANE, that NO one would EVER do willingly, and watches in astonishment as the man starts to do exactly that-!

He stops the man, of course, after that moment of shock and realization, but the entire bar is now his audience.

They're absolutely INCREDULOUS, and so is he.

So, of course, he does the whole "uhhh ahahaha yeah I meant to do that" thing- and bows a little, as the room erupts into drunken applause

As time passes, he basically becomes a professional hypnotist, though he only

"performs" for that one bar.

..At first.

Then one day, a regular at the bar tells him she's found him a gig- at the local hotel and casino: The Colosseum.

(I Will FLIP out if that's The name of a canon place in the original Gotham universe 1)

Hsishsshh

Nervously, and with a bit of reluctance, he goes, and completely KILLS it. (Not literally, don't worry. Not yet- /hi)

And from there, he gets more gigs. Gradually going higher and higher up on the venue

"food chain".

It's a major confidence booster. And a bit of inspiration hits him when someone mentions the book he carries around, plus the hat engraved on his watch, saying that it's "like the mad hatter, innit?"

Cue costume wardrobe change.

But into a COOL version of the mad hatter outfit, y'know- not like he's been pulled straight out of the 1970s/60s animated movie-

Cause the crowds would HATE that

They'd be like "ew who's this weird guy"

At least, in his mind, they would. They probably would love it even MORE, but. Self-confidence is still not his strong suit- /Ih

The crowd goes absolutely WILD when he shows up onstage with the moniker "the mad hatter” and a colorful-yet- fitting costume.

Now, it might seem like this is a bit over-the-top-hat for a man who's a professional HYPNOTIST.

But, see... that thing he told the man to do?

I don't believe I properly explained just WHAT he said.

What he told the man to do… was something along the lines of "stand on your head, start reciting the first poem you think of, and start floating in thin air."

Sort of sarcastically. Cause, of course, he thought the man would just drop the act, laugh, and be like "ahhhh, that was a good one-" and then they could maybe have a normal conversation and the man would leave him alone after that.

The man, however, walked into the center of the room.

Managed to stand on his head ENTIRELY unaided, despite being clearly VERY drunk.

Began reciting the first poem that came to mind.

And began.

HOVERING.

Only rising very slowly at first, but after a few moments, he was about a foot off the floor, still reciting the poem.

At which point, of course, Tetch was like "oh, SHOOT" and snapped him out of it.

Eventually, he finally gets hired, and starts doing touring shows with this company called the miss fits

(Was the first thing that popped into my head)

The two of which are kind of shit to him

(Oh yeah the company's led by these two nasty bitches)

(Gina and Kat)

They keep trying to get him to do stuff he

REALLY doesn't want to do

Which results in him basically just hating himself and feeling generally really miserable

So eventually he snaps at them, right after their show in Gotham.

They'd just performed for mr Wayne at his office building.

(Of course-)

But after the performance and his big argument with the managers, who actually throw him out…

He's got nothing.

They legally own all of his profits.

he's broke, again. Pretty much homeless, feeling like a wreck. And the self-hatred is feeling VERY strong.

He hasn't even been able to change out of his show costume.

The only things he took with him were the book and pocketwatch.

And his suitcase.

So he's just on the street corner, crying, feeling like everyone's staring at him as the cars pass, like they're weirded out by the costume that everyone used to love.

Grossed out by the sobbing, by the fact that he's stranded on the corner. He must look like some disheveled madman.

The poor guy feels like he's all out of options.

And then somebody's voice comes from behind him, in the alleyway.

"Helloooo... Pray tell, are you the mad hatter…?"

(Ah crap forgot to tag @tiredconcepts )

[errorsharingiscaring]

Moon Knight System Relationship Analysis + Other Notes + A Lot Of Rambling (Episode 3)

Disaster system (affectionate)

Stupid flightless pidgeon (derogatory)

Disclaimer: I do not have DID and to my knowledge have never met a system. I will fix any mistakes that people point out.

TW: A bit of Swearing.

Time to hunt for the tomb!

I love every episode but every time I start thinking about the upcoming one I just get really giddy.

Hunting time! Marc and Steven relationship time! Layla time!

<_>

JAKE TIME.

And it is Jake throughout the whole chase. It’s established that when Marc and Steven switch it’s more of a blink-and-it's-done type of thing, while Jake, being a bit more forceful, has that whole “blacking out” and vision-stuttering show he puts on. Jake is here!

Why is he here tho.

I mentioned in the last post that it might be because Marc is actually listening to Steven and hesitating, which among trained killers is quite a dangerous situation. Then I thought a bit about it and I started thinking that it’s because Jake is impatient, and that’s a characterization that we get.

But... no? Jake is probably the most patient in the entire system. He could probably take over on Marc’s missions much more often than he does already – his front isn’t an experience Marc knows well enough to be concerned about how often it happens. No, Jake took over in the Alps because Marc was knocked out – there wasn’t really a choice between “we all die” or “I front for a bit”.

So following that, Jake takes over only because it’s absolutely necessary – they're in a life-threatening situation, fighting trained killers who, besides being showy, also definitely know how to beat up a single guy in a 3v1. It wasn’t the moment-right-before-death that episode 6 Harrow-sucking-out-their-soul is, but even a second of hesitation in that situation could mean certain death.

So Jake is like the dad that takes his kid to “talk” to his bully and then when the kid just gets verbally abused again steps in and beats the shit out of the bully.

Kinda. Either way, Jake actually seems to be a bit more skilled at this mercenary work than Marc is.

When the first mid-fight switch happens, we come back to Marc in a taxi being taken to the airport. First time watching you think it’s Steven, but how convenient is it that the people they’re looking for just so happen to walk out of the building right in front of them?

Exactly how this whole sequence plays out is only for the writers and director to know, we can only guess.  

So I wanna make a guess.

While Marc definitely looks like he has the upper hand in the fight, what if either another goon showed up or somehow he lost the advantage and they manage to get away? Jake switching in the moment before it happens would make sense with his “only when absolutely necessary” fronting policy (because if Marc gets knocked out the front goes to Steven – and god knows he’s no good in a fight (yet). Jake is protecting not only Marc, but also Steven, in the same way the Marc protects Steven – not letting him into this screwed up life.). So Jake takes the brunt of the hit/trickery/backstab/whatever, it doesn’t matter how, but the goons get away. Now what?

Well Khonshu could come in and actually help for once since he is a teleporting bird and COULD just fucking follow them!

But if not, why stress over where they could have gone? They are obviously not part of the dig site’s crew, so their orders aren’t to “take care of business in the city and then head out to join the main crew”, they will stay in Cairo until Harrow or one of his higher-up underlings order them elsewhere. The destination wasn’t important – Jake just needed a way to survey the streets for the goon popping up again somewhere. So a car – get a taxi. And drive around for as long as he can – airport might be the furthest thing away from their current location.

And since Jake isn’t one to take over a mission completely, only getting the system out of the immediate danger, he lets Marc back in as soon as he notices one of the goons. If we’re looking for Jack characteristics, that’s one. He doesn’t do the job for Marc or Steven, just helps out when they’re in a pickle. And in a way, not wanting to kill is a bit of a pickle – Harrow with Ammit is a terrifying force that’s capable of practically anything, heavily medicated and everything.

(And for a bit more proof that it wasn’t Steven switching in – there is a distinct look in people after they’ve seen Jake Lockley that you can recognize from a mile away, just like you can see the distinction between Marc and Steven. There is always a fear, a confused look at the fact that just a second ago this same body had a very different host. You can see it in these goons’ eyes, you can see it in Layla’s eyes after Jake comes out in episode 6, and it’s the same look Harrow dies with in the post-credits scene. Jake is scary, Jake is so unlike Marc or Steven that it takes a second for people to adjust. A confusion, a bafflement – and then heart-stopping fear.)

The second switch is Marc nearly passing out. He’s not quite about to lose consciousness, but he is in a compromising position and at a disadvantage against three people adamantly trying to kill him. So Jake fronts – but again, he is different from Marc in mercenary work. When people he’s chasing get away, he takes a taxi ride to find them. When people he’s chasing have him “knocked out”, he takes the free car ride to wherever they decide to take him. Wherever it is, there will be less people to witness murders and less places to run. And Jake isn’t murderous – how do we know he didn’t first question every goon just to make sure their loyalty surpassed their fear of death? Killing is still a last resort (Are the people in the Alps’s main square really dead?), and killing in this situation would be compromising the mission. They need to know the location of the dig site, not just murder people.

So after Jake fails to get the info two times, what does he do? He lets Marc switch in.

Because their ways of handling missions are so different, they’re both good for different parts of them. Jake can take the heavy blows and outsmart the goons, Marc probably has more experience in getting people to talk. So Jake lets him have a turn.

It still fails, but arguably not because of Marc (To quote myself, “[Khonshu, you] motherfucker, your only understanding of humans and their inner workings is 1. A guy you made suicidal and 2. A fledgling mess of a system, wtf do you, a stupid flightless fucking pidgeon, know about people?”). And we can only guess what the understanding between Jake and Khonshu is. The birb doesn’t mention his existence to Steven or Marc, but they seem to work well together (Episode 6 post credits). So perhaps Jake is the favorite child of Khonshu, the one willing to kill when necessary while Marc and Steven are the “lesser liked”. So the birb doesn’t interfere with Jake’s actions, but as soon as Marc pops back in, there’s almost a disappointed sigh as the “worse kid” takes the front. Marc has “disappointed” Khonshu twice now, failing to get the info his way. And even though the hyper-violence that Jake used didn’t work either, birb is so conceited he thinks his opinion on how to act is the correct one (AGAIN, SUICIDAL MANIAC AND SYSTEM IN DENIAL). But as always, it isn’t.

And is it just me or is that “I thought he’d talk” almost spitefully sarcastic? Like Marc is the “worse kid” so Khonshu is traumatizing him on purpose?

Either that or he is really sarcastically and non-chalantly admitting he was wrong, like it’s the first and only time that’ll ever happen. (AGAIN, YOU KNOW FUCK ALL ABOUT PEOPLE-)

So that’s our Jake segment for the episode (or show, more like. *sob*). He’s a scary dude, he is smart, and yet his only goal/wish is to keep the system safe. Honestly, with how little he cuts in, it’s almost like he wants Marc and Steven to learn to deal with their shit on their own, as long as it’s not a life-ending situation (yeah I don’t know how to explain their episode 4 death yet). But overall, he cares about his two disaster alters. It’s a shame they don’t want to even acknowledge his existence bUT THAT IS WHY WE NEED A SEASON 2 BEFORE A MAJOR MOVIE APPEARANCE MARVEEEEELLLLLL.

Stan Jake Lockley. He deserves some appreciation.

God trial time!

And I know the reason for Khonshu’s “banishment” was him overstepping the boundaries of the gods and “nearly revealing their existence”, but do you think Harrow’s refusal to be his Avatar had something to do with it? Like how Hathor (and I guess all of the gods) are actually concerned for Marc’s wellbeing, the way Hathor asks him if he feels he’s being exploited – they must know at least a little about the reason Harrow left Khonshu, right? Maybe it was the last nail in the coffin, and the judgement of the gods was the banishment plus him losing Harrow as an Avatar?

The trial would absolutely make sense with this. How they seem more trusting of Harrow than Khonshu, sounding more concerned with how the system must feel under his wing than the fact that Harrow might be doing something catastrophic to the world.

Huh. No wonder they imprison him in stone.

And good grief, how Marc probably for the first time admits that he is struggling. He’s always putting himself last, putting everyone else above him, the one time someone actually directly asks him if he’s okay he nearly has a breakdown on the spot. Layla doesn’t know this, he never opened up to her like this, he’s so not used to the feeling that overwhelms him as his sentence gets cut off, he doesn’t stay that vulnerable for long. Immediately he’s back to what he knows best – angry, shouting, taking the focus off of himself, forgetting about himself.

The more I watch this the more I realize how impactful Steven’s “It’s not your fault” in episode 5 is. Like who else has actually been kind to Marc? Who else has he trusted enough to open up to them even a little bit? Who else knows Marc is struggling?

No one. Absolutely no one!

I know Layla is his wife and that sentence in itself implies at least a little knowledge of each other’s inner worlds, but... Marc hid his DID, he hid a lot of himself, the only thing Layla knew for sure was that Khonshu made his life infinitely worse and the rest she had to figure out on her own. I’m not sure how that can lead to a marriage, I’m not sure how or why Layla still cares about him so deeply, but...

No one’s been kind to Marc. And that’s why his attempts at being kind to others are often taken as him being evil. How the hell can he know what being kind is? How can he properly explain to Steven that making him live in denial and confusion was the better option? How can he explain to Layla that him getting as far away from her as possible is protecting her?

He can’t. He doesn’t know the words, he doesn’t know the emotion. Marc is a tragedy.

“What happened?”

“Doesn’t matter-”

THAT VOICE CRACK.

Just how much Marc is holding back at any given moment, how much he hasn’t said out loud, even one simple question and he’s already biting back tears.

But of course he has to protect Layla. He has to say “Let’s just give our shit a rest for a moment”, even if that obviously stings for her. The only bad thing he’s actually done is just leave her in the dark for months and then for that he doesn’t even offer an explanation, just dismisses it as an issue that they have and doesn’t try to fix anything or say anything, keeping the secret of Khonshu as if it protects her more.

It can be taken as a lie. An omission of the truth is still a refusal to disclose the truth. And that’s the way Marc protects those he cares about – by lying, by keeping secrets, by not speaking. The same way he can’t express how much he loves them – he can’t find the words, his only hope is that his look and his actions explain why he does what he does, why he hurts the people he cares for, why he keeps his heart locked behind a steel padlock. That him speaking is worse for them, that the more you know about him the more in danger you are, that it’s better this way and “It’s too late” to fix what he’s messed up.

“We could have handled it together” - Layla takes his hands, she is looking right into his eyes, she is vocally and silently asking the question “Why? Can you please explain?” and Marc is doing everything he can to be able to push her away – he's not looking at her, he’s dismissing his issues, “It doesn’t matter why, it doesn’t matter that I can’t talk to you, nothing about me matters”.

Miscommunication. Inability to communicate, inability to express what he feels – that all results in lies and disappearances and refusals to explain. It’s Marc’s perpetual cycle, and it’s a never-ending one.

But hey on a little bit of a lighter note, Marc and Steven. Their relationship is what you would call... complicated. I’ve described it before – Marc cares for Steven but Steven has no clue, he only sees Marc Mercenary Spector, and that being a touchy topic for him, Marc retaliates in a snappy tone. Since they both don’t understand that Jake is responsible for the blackouts at the beginning of the episode, Marc can only assume that Steven has been getting in his way and Steven assumes that Marc is once again being overtly violent. This difference in ideologies is their latest bickering topic – they both think the other is not fit for the job. Marc’s “Not a chance [to giving Steven the front]” is him thinking that Steven will mess something up and then not let Marc fix it (which has happened before, so now Marc is a bit more firm with that, especially since now Layla is a variable he has to factor in). So they both bite at each other – “Sorry, if you [the bloodthirsty mercenary that’s been killing people left and right], expect my help, it’s not gonna be while I’m imprisoned!”, “Do you want a bloodbath? Huh? [The thing you’re reprimanding me for?] Fine. Have it your way.” (Which is also Marc’s way to get Steven to cooperate. Marc knows he dislikes the killing and the violence, Marc himself hates it, but there really is no other choice, so if Steven is offering a way out, it’s something that they both desperately want. It could have been a bonding moment for them, if not for the tense situation (And the fact that they’d rather snark at each other than admit the other’s skillset is useful.).)

It’s pure sibling love. If you ever wanna write real siblings – this is how.

(And Steven implying he understands what needs to be done to unlock the map they’re looking for but then refusing to actually divulge the code is a sneaky way to try to claim the front. Like oh you can’t do it without me! Better let me handle this! Again, classic siblings (And not something you expect out of shy little gift-shopist Steven Grant, do you?).)

And if I can just admire the villain for a moment, what a way to split Layla and Marc up. He knows that Marc was on the mercenary team that hit the dig site that her father was killed at – he doesn’t know if Marc was the one that killed her father, he doesn’t even know if she loved her father, if she’s broken up about his death. But he knew that Steven Grant and Marc Spector were alters before Layla – he clearly saw that in how she spoke to Steven as if he was Marc. Taking that information, he can make some assumptions – if Marc hasn’t explained the DID, there’s a high chance he didn’t trust her with the details of that operation, and if he assumes Layla did love her father and is broken up about his death – overall, not that far a leap or a risk to imply that Marc is lying to her, a thought he repeats several times until it eventually garners him Ammit’s ushabti.

(Basically, he figured out Marc’s/Steven’s weakness – Layla. Because she took the risk of walking into the lion’s den that was his little community, he can assume she cares about him deeply. And love like that doesn’t just come from nowhere – it's not a stretch to think it’s mutual.)

Harrow smort. He’s a shitty guy, he is absolutely wrong in believing Ammit will solve his issues, he needs some serious therapy, but...

He smort.

Ok me appreciating the villain hour is over.

Why doesn’t Marc just summon the suit and stop Harrow from destroying the sarcophagus? I actually couldn’t quite put it into words but first time watching it seemed obvious and I didn’t even question it.

Stuff about his secret identity, sure. That can be a part of it.

Marc wanting to avoid a bloodbath that donning the suit would inevitably bring? Eeh, there wasn’t really another way for him and Layla to get out of the situation. There’s a group of armed men all just waiting to kill them as soon as their boss gives them the go-ahead, and there’s plenty more in every direction they may decide to run to, I don’t think Marc was waiting for Harrow’s magic power display to change things much (Literally as soon as Harrow disappeared he suited up).

He can’t really fight that staff. If he does try to, Harrow will just summon another jackal and it will wreak havoc on (mostly) innocent people (and he and Layla would probably get shot on sight. You know, the thing that happens as soon as he actually dons the suit.). And he would still get away – and even if he didn’t, if Marc managed to wound him somehow, what would change? His disciples are at the tomb, they’re not gonna stop digging or exploring it just because Harrow is gone. They might even create a search party just to try and free him from Marc’s grasp – and he knows how devoted they are. Avoiding a bloodbath of actually innocent, just misguided people.

So he waits for Harrow to be gone. And then it’s all about getting him and Layla out.

(Moon Knight coooool :)

(And the more I watch the more I find proof of my “Marc relinquishes control to people he cares about as a way of expressing how much he loves them” theory! Steven helped with the map, and for that moment, they were working quite well together. There wasn’t snark or insults, they were actually being a team. So Marc lets up enough for Steven to switch in (however badly Steven midjudged the situation). Slowly but surely getting to that “seamless transition” level!)

(And also I like to think that Steven is the one that buys all of their clothes. You know, since weird new attire appearing in his apartment would probably be as bad as Gus suddenly existing with two fins, it would break the illusion. So both Marc and Jake trust Steven to dress them (And at least Marc approves of his fashion sense! “I really liked that jacket :(".)

“He’s got this idea that he can see the true nature of people” - and again I’m admiring Harrow a little. That comment about “She will see you as you see yourself – as unworthy of love” was SO SPOT ON that Marc straight up admitted he was right about it. And perhaps Harrow was talking a little from experience – maybe after he realized the sins he committed in Khonshu’s name that’s exactly how he felt – but he couldn’t know that Marc had the same experience. He could only guess, and with a little luck and a lot of smort, he was right. So I guess...

I’d say good for him, but... it’s a really shitty thing to do, taking advantage of someone’s trauma to discredit/use/hurt them. He’s already done it once to convince the gods he’s innocent, now he’s doing it again to make Layla, Marc’s one weakness and, as far as Harrow knows, only loved one, hate and distrust him.

Screw Harrow. He’s a great villain and he is super compelling to watch and try to figure out, but... Screw him.

Especially screw him for making Layla and Marc relive an argument they must have had often. Marc has secrets, Layla doesn’t know them – and yet she hopes that this newest one is the last. But it never is.

(And yet she still married him. And yet the good moments outweighed the horrible distrust that she felt every time she learned something new about him. They’ve been together for years now, surely, and that’s still an emotion she has to go through.

I’d say that’s true love, to still care for someone after all of that.

…

No wait actually it is.

Actually it is, because what Marc hides from her most of the time is how much he’s struggling. Other secrets are about his exploits, the worst of him that he wishes she didn’t know. But she broke through his walls, she learned about Khonshu, she learned how he made Marc’s life a hell, in Marc’s eyes she in an equal partner he can put his trust in and forfeit his life to because he loves her. Because however much he hides his issues and how he feels, Layla knows that he’s prone to do that. She knows he has issues and that he hides and that he has bad habits but she still stayed. Even after so many secrets, after so many horrible feelings of never knowing the man she married, she still stayed. With every sentence and every step she took next to him she proved that she loved him, that she wasn’t leaving and that he wasn’t alone. She was patient, she stuck with him even when Marc’s own self-deprecation and insecurities said that no one loves him and he isn’t worthy of anything good. She tried to prove that wrong, she did everything in her power to prove that wrong.

And then Khonshu decided she was a worthy Avatar.

Imagine that, imagine that Layla set Marc on a path to healing by just being there for him and assuring him and loving him and then Khonshu ruins everything by hitting Marc where it hurts – saying that his existence is a danger to others. That because of him, Layla is in danger of going through the worst shit imagineable as Khonshu’s Avatar, that it is his fault the only good thing that ever happened to him is going to be traumatized and ruined by a god that used him as it saw fit.

Fuck. Khonshu.

He used Marc’s insecurities and his trauma, his “pain” to keep him tethered to his eternal servitude, threatening him with Layla, his one weakness, the person he loves, just so Khonshu can have an effective, unwell, eternal servant that he can manipulate to do whatever he wishes as long as he pressed the right buttons.

Fuck Khonshu. Fuck Harrow.

Layla has the patience of an angel. Khonshu thinking he can get her in his service is the most ridiculous shit that stupid fucking bird ever believed. The audacity to throw away Marc in favor of the person he kept as an assurance that he can always have a reliable servant.

How fucking dare he.

Strip him of his power and bound his useless hollow shell to stone.)

And it hurts Marc to push Layla away, he doesn’t want to do it but he feels that he has to. That’s all Marc’s life is, just pushing people away from him. When he realizes that he needs Steven he smacks the car, knowing that now he’s not gonna be able to reason with Steven that he should just suck it up and help. Knowing that, he still has to listen to Layla pressuring him to give Steven the front while Khonshu, again, misunderstanding HUMANS, thinks that Steven should just help from a reflection. Quite understandably, he lashes out by breaking the rearview mirror off – his typical response to stress, something violent. It’s a mirror to the scene in episode 2 where Layla is begging Steven to become Marc – it’s a bunch of voices all screaming at you to disappear. And both Steven and Marc react with their stress responses because it’s already a struggle to be in control. Steven wasn’t letting Marc in because he is a killer, Marc now doesn’t want to let Steven in because he knows he’s going to muck something up. He is still pushing Steven from this life, he knows he’s not made for this and he knows he will be much worse off having to deal with whatever comes after they put the map together. And yet.

He walks away before switching. He doesn’t show it off to Layla, or Khonshu, he walks away to say just one sentence privately. “Alright, go ahead. You’re in.” Not trying to reason with Steven, or convince him to help otherwise, just an “I’m putting my faith in you. I hope you understand how much I trust you to do this.”

Not saying it in words, but in actions. A “Sorry” for underestimating him before, a “You got this” to give him confidence, and Steven in response doesn’t snark or sarcastically bite back. Just a cheerful “Thanks a lot!”

It’s a lot easier to learn someone’s language when you spend so much time in one head.

Layla and Steven are cute though. There’s more to say about them in the next episode, when they actually talk.

I’m kinda curious about Khonshu and the other gods now. Specifically, Ammit, what the hell happened there? Cause... The things Khonshu does just to prevent her from reaching her ultimate goal, it kinda rivals Ammit’s followers’ zeal. He would accept being bound in stone for gods know how long if only it meant that Marc Spector and Steven Grant have a chance at stopping her. And how Khonshu and Ammit talk later on, it kinda seems like they’re exes? That’s the backstory I want to hear – how did it happen, who did what to piss off the other, how did Ammit end up being bound and Khonshu is just allowed to continue his work, if they do have the same ideals and the same wishes for the world, how did it end up that they became opposites?

There’s definitely more to learn about both Khonshu and Ammit. Sadly, it probably won’t be official show canon.

“Your torment forged me.

I owe my victory to you.”

Fuckin raw line.

And it’s why we can’t write off Harrow as just “insane guy that wants to kill the world”. The abuse he suffered at Khonshu’s hand is very real and it is equally traumatizing to face it as adult as it is to experience it as a child. Harrow and the Moon Knight system are similar – they are not the same, and their reactions to the events thrust upon them are different.  

So while I can’t villainize Harrow completely, I also... Can’t really say he’s right? Just feels like... there’s a lot more steps one can take before deciding that the world needs a cleanse?

Like maybe... therapy? Just... just try therapy, yeah? Maybe you won’t commit to it, or it won’t help but... At least you’ll hear a different opinion.

And maybe killing millions of people won’t seem so reasonable?

Anyway, that’s the end of the episode!

So just for this post’s end, some disclaimers.

I am not a simp for Arthur Harrow.

I see you simps, I understand why, but I don’t think I can ever go there. Harrow will always be the antagonist who I admire and who’s motivations I can understand, but can’t romanticize.

Same thing goes for Khonshu simps. I can’t get past the fact that he manipulated and abused and hurt the system, but go off I guess.

And I do not ship Marc and Steven. I keep calling it their relationship cause I don’t want to say friendship, at least not yet. Brotherhood sounds wrong. And I don’t particularly see why people would ship them romantically? Like some people just have that tension and canon just wastes it, but Marc and Steven? Yeah... no. No, I don’t see it.

So have fun with your xreaders, I’m gonna be here sobbing over the tragedy of Marc’s story and episode 5’s culmination.

Which I get to talk about pretty soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[redorich]

What if Tommy and a few other Hermits went to the Dream SMP to take care of some business (aka Dreamon + small family reunion for Tommy) and they see Tommy hug these two PvP gods as a ghost floats around them saying, “oh Tommy! You’ve been gone so long! Where did you go?” And seeming quite happy as well. The hermits get to see just how fucked this place is. Tommy told them Techno is by far the richest person on the server yet he only has one stack of diamond blocks. Not a single shulker box to be seen. Phil tells them The End is Off Limits. They get to see the main hub of this world is less impressive than a single of their big builds. They see fighting in the streets. From the other side of walls they hear people threatening eachother. They get to see and experience the comparative hell that Tommy cane from -🐍

Scar’s the one that gets to go first. He and Grian jockey for the privilege, but in the end Scar is the mayor of Hermitcraft, which means he gets to visit the Dream SMP first. (Grian pouts for days.)

Scar wears his very nice mayor sash, and irons his trousers, and keeps his armor in his inventory so that everyone can see his nice apparel. He smiles, and opens his eyes to what is basically a pit. The ground is more creeper-hole than actual ground, and there are mishmash walls all around him. His smile falters.

<Dream> Oh shit hes at spawn

<Technoblade> dream forgot to change visitor spawn, worst admin ever

<Dream> Shut up

Tubbo hit the ground too hard

<Technoblade> TUBBO IS GONE CRABRAVE

<ItsFundy> canon death

<Tubbo> NO

“Hey there,” Tubbo says from behind Scar. The mayor yelps, whirling around and nearly falling on his face.

“Sorry to scare you,” Tubbo laughs, “but how about I show you around? After I get my stuff back, that is.”

“Y-yeah,” Scar says, visibly perturbed. Tubbo leads him through a hole in the wall just large enough for them to go through one at a time, then through a small patch of forest. (Do these people seriously not even have a way out of spawn, or a path from spawn to the important locations?)

Dream catches up to Tubbo and Scar right as the town comes into view. They meet up at a patch of ruined land, on which two identical Nether portals are sat.

“Welcome to the Dream SMP,” Dream says with a gesture toward the slightly-broken oak slab path stretching out from the portal. “Sorry I’m late, I had to take care of some business.”

“Business?” Scar asks despite himself.

Dream fidgets with the handle of his axe sheepishly. “Yeah. I sent some of the troublemakers on a wild goose chase several thousand blocks away from here. Hopefully, they shouldn’t bother you.”

“That’s great and all, but I kind of need to get my stuff back,” Tubbo cuts in before Scar has a chance to question Dream.

“Sure, it was near Tommy’s old house, right? Why not show Scar the Prime Path while you’re at it?”

Tubbo smiles, and takes Scar’s hand in his. “Great idea. Come on, Scar!”

Scar allows himself to be pulled along, dodging holes in the “Prime Path” as he does so.

“That way’s Eret’s Gay Castle-- you can’t grief it, it’s homophobic,” Tubbo explains, “and up ahead’s Church Prime.”

It’s not much of a church, Scar thinks, given the giant floating poster that’s been left to peel away. Bits of the poster have even been torn off and stolen, leaving only the item frame behind. Still, he knows better than to say rude things about someone else’s religion, even if the state of disrepair... No. He won’t say anything.

Various depictions of anti-Technoblade propaganda still up. They’re so, so ugly. Further along the path there’s a tower that actually isn’t hideous, so it was probably made by-- Eret, was it? The same guy who made the Gay Castle? A stray chicken clucks while Scar tears his eyes away from the Walmart which has magma for floors, and the Targay, and the cobblestone framework of what Tubbo claims is a Denny’s which was used once for roleplay and then promptly abandoned.

Tommy’s old house can best be described as “open air”, to put it politely. At least there’s a fence..? But as Tubbo picks up his items and the two set off for L’Manberg, politely ignoring the giant Gogy posters, they hear a scuffle up ahead.

“Let go of my fucking hair!” George shrieks.

“Not until you give me back my potato,” Sapnap responds. The two grown men are fighting like children in the middle of the Prime Path in broad daylight, pulling each other’s hair and slap-fighting but at least-- no, never mind, they’ve got their weapons out now.

George shrieks at the top of his lungs when one of Sapnap’s swings gets too close. “It’s rotted anyway, why the hell do you want it?!”

“Because it’s mine,” Sapnap insists. He finally bonks George on the head hard enough to kill him, then scoops the rotten potato out of George’s belongings. His hand toys with a flint and steel, but he eventually seems to decide not to burn George’s items for the offense of stealing his potato.

“Oh, hi there!” Sapnap says once he spots them. He waves.

Scar hesitantly waves back. He’s beginning to think that perhaps he should have worn his armor after all. He watches in morbid fascination as Sapnap takes a bite of his rotten potato. Sapnap’s face drains of all color; he immediately leaps off a cliff to go be sick in a valley away from prying eyes. George’s things are left on the ground.

“Y’know, I think I left the oven on,” Scar says slowly. Tubbo looks at him with sad, pitiful eyes, as if to say, do you see what I have to deal with?

“Would you like to go back to Hermitcraft and try again another day?”

Attempting to affect nonchalance and failing miserably at it, Scar waves his hand rapidly. “Actually, Grian really wanted to come see your server, so-- maybe I’ll send him. I’m real busy with, uh, mayor stuff.”

Tubbo nods, pretending to buy the excuse. “I’ll have Dream send you back.”

“Thank you,” Scar says fervently.

[heliads]

Rainstorm

Y/N and Newt have been best friends ever since she arrived in the Glade. However, she might find that her feelings over the blond boy have changed, especially after the events of a rainy day.

masterlist

There’s a great clamoring around you, the tearing and shrieking of metal. You feel like your head is being pounded by an anvil, and you clap your hands to your skull, desperate to stop the pain. You realize you’re moving, the floor beneath you swaying as it is dragged up by some unseen chain. There are boxes around you, crates of something that you can’t see in the dark. The worst part isn’t the echoing din, or the insufferable darkness lit by sporadic bursts of fluorescents. The worst part is that you have no idea how you got here.

After a couple of seconds, you force yourself to stand up straight and look around. There are boxes littering the ground, yes, but you’re in a larger box yourself. Is that what this lurching, moving metal room is? There are four walls and a ceiling that seems to press in on you with every waking second. Just as you come to this conclusion, the room stops moving with a sudden jolt that sends you to the ground. Panic crests over you and you throw yourself to the edge of the room, hiding behind the stacks of boxes just as the ceiling is lifted away.

Bright, overwhelming sunlight flows into the room like a wave. You squint, careful not to make a sound even as your eyes water from the sudden light. You can see the dim silhouettes of a group of people standing over the room, looking in on you. They must not see you, because you can hear dim snatches of conversation being tossed back and forth in the space above you. “Shouldn’t there be a greenie? Where’s the new kid?” You have no idea what a greenie is, but you do have a sickening feeling that they’re expecting someone, someone who will turn out to be you.

After another moment of indecision, a boy jumps down into the room, causing the floor to shake slightly from the impact. He peers between the crates. Your breath comes harsh in your chest as you realize he must be looking for you. Your hand closes around something in an open box, and as you pull it out slowly, you realize your fingers are clenched around the grip of a knife. It’s not much, but at least you have a weapon.

The boy calls out to you now. “Hey, we know you’re there. There’s always someone in the Box. You can come out now, we’re not going to hurt you.” He takes a couple of steps closer, and you realize there’s no getting out of this. Might as well use the advantage of surprise while it’s still in your court. You stand up suddenly, stepping away from the shelter of the boxes. You point your knife towards the boy’s throat. For a second, the two of you stand there- you with your blade, him with a look of surprise coating his eyes.

Now that you’re both standing in the sunlight, you can see more of him. This boy has light dirty blond hair and warm brown eyes. His hands rise by his sides the second he sees your knife. “Hey, there’s no need for that. We’re not trying to hurt you.” Then his brow furrows and he takes a step forward, surprise overwhelming his previous hesitation. “Wait. You’re a girl.” You raise an eyebrow. “Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be a girl?” The boy glances up at the silhouettes of the others still standing over the box. “Back off, guys. She’ll be fine.”

He looks back at you. “Let’s start this over. My name is Newt. You’re in the Glade now, with a few other shanks. I’m just surprised because they’ve never sent a girl up before, that’s it. Now, can you please put down the knife? What would you do with it, anyway?” You keep the blade up, feeling slightly defensive. “I could use it.” Newt lowers his hands, humor outweighing any sense of self-preservation. “For what?” You gesture with the blade. “To, I don’t know, stab someone. It’s a knife, what else would I do?”

Newt grins. “Maybe not stab me? We’re going to be here for a while, I’d appreciate it if you didn't kill me immediately.” You lower the blade at last, reaching over to put it back in a nearby box. “I’ll consider it.” Newt offers you a hand to help you out of the Box. “Can I help you up? You can trust me, you know.” You consider him for a second, taking in everything you know about the boy. He looks at you encouragingly, smiling with all the peaceful freedom of a dove, and you relent. After a second, you stand blinking in the sunlight, turning in a slow circle to stare at the massive walls surrounding you. “What is that?” Newt comes to stand beside you. “That’s the Maze. Keeps us all stuck in here. Once a month, the Box sends up some new sap. This time it’s you.”

You glance around you at the other boys pretending to do their work. “There’s not that many people here. How long has this been going on?” Newt shrugs. “I’m not entirely sure. Maybe six months or so? Alby’s been here longest, he’ll have a better answer. Alby’s in charge here, by the way. I’m second in command.” You nod. “And you really don’t have any other girls here? That’s awful.” Newt laughs. “Don’t worry about it. I have a feeling you’re going to fit in just fine around here.”

Newt, as it turns out, is right. You talk and laugh with the other Gladers like you’ve known them your entire life. Conversation flows freely that first day, and after a few hours, you already remember your name, taking joy in turning it over in your head like a smooth stone from the river. You make fast friends with Minho, the runner, after he hears the story of how you nearly stabbed Newt back in the Box. Alby talks Glade politics with you, Gally seems to tolerate you far more than the others. However, your closest friendship will always be with Newt.

Maybe it’s because he was the first friendly face you saw, the reason you ever agreed to enter into the Glade at all. Maybe it’s because Newt hands away his trust like a gift, free of charge. You couldn’t stray from him if you tried. You exchange quick chats and stupid jokes in between shifts, and you find that you look forward to every minute shared with the blond second-in-command.

One day, Newt and his track-hoes are forced to give up their gardening to retreat underneath haphazard awnings from an encroaching rainstorm. Even the builders have hurried away, trading in their bricks and wooden slats for the dry cover of the few buildings in the Glade. You lean against a tree conveniently growing underneath a cloth shelter, eyes alight as you watch the rain pour down over the Glade. A faint smile plays on your lips. Newt walks up beside you, an eyebrow raised as he takes in your peaceful expression.

“You know, I’ve never seen someone look this happy over a bloody thunderstorm. We’re all forced indoors and we can’t do anything, and you look like someone’s just won you a million pounds.” You turn to face him, grinning. “I just think it’s nice. You’re the track-hoe, I thought you’d be happier about it. If it doesn’t rain, all your plants die. Honestly, we should both be celebrating.” Newt shakes his head in horror. “You’re ridiculous. I mean, look at Gally. He seems like he’s going to kill somebody just because of a few clouds.”

You reach out a hand, feeling the burst of the fat raindrops against your palm. “You want me to be like Gally and hate everything in the world? Not a chance.” Newt watches you, an amused expression entertaining itself on his lips. “I’m not asking for that, I’m asking you to stop looking so excited about a rainstorm. You’re making the rest of us look like miserable downers.” You grin at him. “Maybe you are. Have you considered that?”

You crane your head out from the awning, gazing up as the drops rain down upon you. “I’m going out there. Come with me.” Newt scoffs. “And be soaking for the rest of the day? Not a chance.” You look at him, a mock pout tainting your eyes with incredible sorrow. “It’ll be fun. Not everyone has to be a miserable downer, you know.” You reach out to grab his hand and pull him into the rain, but Newt dodges your grasp. Instead, your hand darts down to his pocket, and you steal his prized pocketknife, holding it up teasingly before him. Newt lunges for it, but you run out into the rain-drenched clearing, forcing you to run after him.

Newt’s carried this one knife around with him for what feels like forever. He uses it for everything- gardening, threatening greenies, lending it to Chuck for the boy’s latest carving project. It won’t rust in the rain, but it will be important enough to him so that he’ll follow you out into the storm, away from his shelter. You sprint through the clearing, Newt chasing after you. You can hear him shouting. “You’re a terrible friend, Y/N, you know that?” You risk a glance backwards, feeling a laugh bursting on your tongue when you realize he’s only a few feet away from you. “That’s just mean!”

Eventually, he catches up to you, reaching out an arm to stop you in your tracks. You come to an abrupt stop, still doing your best to hold the knife away from him. Newt laughs to see your last-ditch efforts. “You’re insane, you know that? Absolutely insane.” You beam at him, feeling the rain pour down over you. “Maybe so.” Newt lunges for the knife and the sudden shift in balance makes you slip on the soaking wet grass. Newt leans over, catching you, and for a second you feel like you’re frozen in that moment, his arms around your waist and the rain pounding around you.

Then he’s straightening up, knife held triumphantly in his palm. “Told you I’d get it back.” You grin at him. “That wasn’t the point. We’re both out here now.” Newt looks up, as if finally realizing that you’ve goaded him into leaving the tent. He tosses a playful glare your way. “I thought we were friends.” You laugh. “We are. That’s why we’re having such a good time.” You tilt your head up towards the sky, taking in the crisp, clear freshness of the rain. Newt groans, but you can see the smile he’s unsuccessfully trying to hide. “Maybe it isn’t that bad. Not all of it.”

When you look back, you see his smile, the rain pressing his hair against his face. You can feel your own breath coming sharply in your chest after the running, the cool of the rain against the heat in your cheeks. You’ve never felt this way around him, and you can’t figure out what it means until that night, when you lie awake for hours, mind still turning around the storm from earlier. The truth comes to you after a while, letting itself in without so much as a knock. You love Newt, no matter how much you’d like to hide it. 

The only problem is that Newt would never feel the same way about you. He constantly refers to you as his friend, even his best friend, and that’s all you’ll ever be. The fault lies solely with you, for falling in love with such a sunbeam of a boy and expecting that he’d look back at a matchstick of a girl, someone who’d light up only to die out seconds later. The only thing you can do is try to get over your little crush, hoping you can snuff it out like a candle.

This proves to be more difficult than you’d thought. Your first attempt is to just forget the whole thing ever happened. This plan runs into the ground as soon as you look at him the next morning, and feel all of your heart’s pounding rush over you. Your only idea after that is to edge slightly away from him. Maybe the distance will keep your mind from turning to him, from falling in love so easily. You still sit with him at mealtimes with all your other friends, but you don’t run to him at every break. Honestly, this is for the best. He probably thought you were too clingy anyway, this is just making things even better.

Yet it still hurts when you feel his absence, like a phantom limb that should have always stayed by your side. Maybe you’re just kidding yourself, but you could swear that Newt looks for you when you’re not there, like there’s a one in a million chance that he just might feel the same way. After about a week of this, you’re sitting in a quiet, empty part of the Glade on a rest break when Newt approaches you. He doesn’t say anything at first, just sits down right next to you. From the second you saw him, you noticed the crease in his brow, the look of unhappiness that seemed to permeate his every movement. Whatever he’s about to say, it won’t be good.

Newt fixes you with a quiet stare. “Why are you avoiding me?” The question, so blunt and straight-forward, demands an answer. You’re not sure that you want to provide one, so you try to steer away from his interrogation. “What are you talking about? We sit at the same tables at meals. We talk all the time, actually. We’re talking right now.” It’s a nothing answer, and Newt knows it. “We’re talking now because I came up to you. We used to spend a lot more time together, and then you decided that I wasn’t good enough for you.”

Your eyes widen. “That’s not what I thought at all! I-” You break off, wishing you could hold your tongue for once in your life. You almost gave it all away. Newt sees this sudden silence and presses it. “You what? I was closer to you than I was to anyone else in the Glade, and now I barely see you a couple of times per day. There’s always a reason, Y/N, and I would like to know why.” You sigh, but keep your mouth shut. Maybe he’ll hate you right now, but it will be better than the disappointment and even disgust when he finds out that someone he sees as a sister has fallen in love with him.

Newt’s voice is quiet. “I guess this was a mistake. You what, regretted all of this? You’re trying to pretend that we were never friends?” Your eyes flash. “I never regretted a thing. I loved you, and it was a stupid mistake that I’m trying to fix. Is that what you wanted to hear?” There’s silence for one heartbeat, two. You look away, furious with yourself. Then there’s a hand on your cheek, guiding your face back to his. Newt’s lips are on yours now, and you stifle a gasp of surprise.

At last, he breaks away, a smile dancing across his face. “You could have said that a lot earlier, you know.” You stare at him. “You liked me? You actually-” Newt chuckles softly. “Have for a while. I was trying to tell you, but you made it so bloody difficult sometimes.” You feel like you can’t think straight. “I can’t believe I never figured that out.” Newt’s smile is intoxicating. “I’m glad you know now. Makes it a lot easier to do this.” When he kisses you again, it’s even more breathtaking than the first.

[findingjoynweirdstuff]

DSMP Anniversary Recap: THE DISC WAR

 Chaos breaks out across the server after Sapnap burns Ponk’s Lemon Tree…

The server’s first all-out civil war.

---

VOD LINKS:

Tubbo

Purpled

Ponk [unavailable]

Tommyinnit

Punz [unavailable]

Sapnap

---

Late the previous night, Sapnap came online and set Ponk’s Lemon Tree on fire.

The day starts when Tubbo logs onto the server.

---

- The previous stream, Tubbo lost all his belongings. Chat tells him to check Ponk’s tree and Tubbo runs over

- As he approaches the second Lemon Tree, he sees that it’s on fire. Tubbo quickly towers up to try and put it out. He thinks that it’s his fault and worries that he’ll get blamed for this, as he’s the only one on the server at the moment

- Tubbo tries his best, but by the time the fire is out, the tree is in ruins. He learns that Sapnap is responsible. Tubbo goes back to his house to get wood to patch the tree up. He rebuilds the broken section of the tree 

- While he’s out gathering logs, he notices a little chick following him

Tubbo: “Oh my god, I’m gonna name you Benson! You look like a Benson.”

- He throws a couple eggs at the chick to try and get it to walk after him and one of the eggs hatches into a second chick. Now there are two Bensons

- Tubbo does his best to continue fixing the tree. Ponk logs on. Tubbo tells him he is sorry about the tree. Ponk logs off. Some time later, while Tubbo is mining, Ponk logs back on

Ponk: someone is gonna pay for this

- Tubbo tells him he tried his best. Ponk tells him to save it for court. He says he’s gathering evidence, then logs back off again

- Afterwards, Tubbo goes back to the forest with some leads to retrieve the Bensons. He picks one of the Bensons to gift to Punz and brings the other one back to his house

- Tubbo works on building and Purpled logs on. Purpled wanders around the SMP, trying to find his way around the server. He goes up the path to Tommy’s house and wonders where to set up his own house

- Ponk logs on again, and this time Alyssa does as well

- Purpled runs into Alyssa by her house while riding a llama. He joins VC with Tubbo, who fills him in about Sapnap stealing Tommy’s Netherite and setting Ponk’s tree on fire

- Alyssa tells Tubbo he owes her a diamond. Tubbo goes to her house to talk. Meanwhile, Sapnap logs on with murder on his mind. Tommy left signs at Alyssa’s house framing Tubbo for taking a diamond. Tubbo proves it wasn’t him by getting his first diamond achievement

- Ponk is scared to find that Sapnap has OP gear and asks Alyssa to lend him her horse. Sapnap says he will kill her. As Sapnap chases Ponk, armored with Tommy’s Netherite and diamond armor, Ponk asks Tubbo to help him

- Sapnap asks Ponk to apologize, but Ponk doesn’t want to after Sapnap burned his tree. Ponk borrows Alyssa’s horse. Alyssa protests because Sapnap might kill it, but Ponk says Sapnap wouldn’t

- Sapnap comes over and tells them that this is his and Alyssa’s house. He tells Ponk to defend his tree and runs back down the path

- Sapnap kills Alyssa’s horse and then Ponk. Tubbo wonders if this is a common occurrence. Sapnap says he won’t burn down the house, but that Ponk challenged him

- Tommy joins VC as they reach the tree. Sapnap tells Tubbo to choose wisely

Sapnap: you have all brought fighting to a once peaceful land

Sapnap: I am the law.

- Tommy says he’ll get on later. Ponk and Tubbo both need his assistance. Tubbo wonders if he and Ponk can make their own court to take Sapnap to trial

Ponk: “Right, look. We have to do a reverse of the revolution in America, right? We need to -- the English must take over the server again, okay? And make it British.”

- Sapnap whispers to Tubbo that Tubbo must be on his side. Tubbo, Ponk and Alyssa find Sapnap’s house. Sapnap kicks them out 

- Alyssa asks where her horse went. Sapnap tells her Ponk led it to its death. Sapnap has Ponk’s pickaxe and tells him to say sorry to stop the fighting. Ponk says sorry

- Alyssa sets Sapnap’s house on fire

Tubbo: “Oh my god, is nothing sacred on this server?!”

- Sapnap tells her to say goodbye to her house and he kills Ponk. Tubbo frantically tries to put out Sapnap’s house

Sapnap: an eye for an eye

Sapnap: I am a fair man

- The only way Sapnap won’t destroy Alyssa’s house is if Tubbo builds him a new one. Tubbo tells them off for burning each other’s things. He doesn’t want his own house burnt down

Tubbo: “If I’m on everyone’s good side, then hopefully they won’t break my crap.”

- He rebuilds Sapnap’s house

- Sapnap says he only killed in self-defense after he was attacked. Alyssa drowns. Punz logs on, confused at what’s going on. He decides to pick “the side of justice”

- Sapnap pays Tubbo for fixing his house, thankful. Tubbo leaves and finds Alyssa at his house. Tubbo tells them the house is his

- Ponk and Sapnap come to Tubbo’s house and Sapnap murders Benson. Alyssa gives Tubbo a poppy for his loss. Sapnap and Tubbo declare every chicken Benson. Then Sapnap kills another as Punz comes over

- Sapnap logs off and Ponk eggs the top of Tubbo’s house

Ponk: “That’s for picking sides, Tubbo.”

Tubbo: “I didn’t pick sides!”

Ponk: “For not picking a side at all. Exactly.”

- Punz joins the call and Tubbo says they can be the side of justice together. A fight breaks out between Punz and Ponk. Tubbo and Alyssa join in and Sapnap logs back on

Sapnap: ARE YOU THREATENING MY PUNZ

- Sapnap kills Ponk again. Purpled now has a pet dog with a purple collar named “DogChamp”

- Tubbo plays the ukelele. Sapnap asks him to sing a song, and Tubbo sings “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” while Sapnap dances along

- Fundy logs on and Sapnap leaves. Things are calm again

- Tommy logs on to find that his house has been damaged and is enraged. Punz whispers to him that he saved it from fire. Tommy’s chestplate is gone and he demands to know who did it

- Sapnap logs on and whispers to Tommy that he is only borrowing the Netherite, and “do not fear my friend.” He joins the call and says that he will return Tommy’s things under one condition: Tommy must join his cause

- Tommy walks down the path looking for Sapnap and kills Alyssa along the way. Sapnap speaks with Tommy at the Courthouse

Sapnap: "The civil war is about to break out.”

- Tommy orders Sapnap to give him back the chestplate, as Wilbur helped him with it. Sapnap gives him the chestplate

Sapnap: “Look...We can be the most powerful on the realm, alright? I need you to be on my side, have my back no matter what.”

- Sapnap tells Tommy that his house was vandalized, so he vandalized the vandal’s house back

Tommy: “Who was it?”

Sapnap: “Your arch-nemesis.”

Tommy: “Ponk!”

Sapnap: “Your arch-nemesis, yes.”

- Sapnap explains what happened today, and how his house was burned down. When Tommy learns about Alyssa’s involvement, he decides it’s time for revenge and starts making his way back down the path

- As they walk to Tommy’s place, Sapnap tells Tommy about how he burned down the Lemon Tree

Tommy: “Sapnap, why would you do that?! That’s his prized possession. That’s like if you burnt my music discs!”

- Tommy asks Sapnap why he burnt down Tommy’s house and Sapnap says to just look past that. War is being waged, and he wants Tommy as his ally.

- Meanwhile, Punz tells Tubbo that there is danger approaching, and that Ponk and Tommy are about to duel. They call Ponk, but Ponk hasn’t heard about a duel

- Tommy sees Punz and Tubbo approach the front door and goes to speak with them. Tommy tells them he’s trying to work out who’s the good guy. Alyssa tells Tommy she heard Tommy stole one of her diamonds, and Tommy immediately goes back to Sapnap’s call

- Tubbo leaves them to go back to building his house, feeling like he’s been the good guy today, rebuilding everything. Everyone else is just burning down houses

- Tommy and Sapnap kick Punz out of the house. Sapnap hands Tommy a Swiftness potion, telling him to “run like the wind.” Tommy is confused

- Sapnap goes outside and sits on the bench

Sapnap: “I’m looking at the starlight, Tommy. Beside this bench...This once was a peaceful nation, Tommy.”

...

Sapnap: “Tommy, you’re free to do whatever you want. I will not attack you unless you join their side. If you join their side, then I’ll be forced to fight you in battle. But I think you know what you need to do. I think you know what team you need to choose, and I think you’ll choose wisely. But Tommy...I’m off into the night. Goodbye for now.”

- Sapnap leaps from the bench and runs off mysteriously into the wilderness

- Tommy is more confused now. He still has the Able Sisters Theme playing in the background. But he has a decision to make, and he weighs his options:

Either join Sapnap, whom he despises, join the woman, or join Punz. Yesterday, Tubbo set him on fire and he lost all his things, so he doesn’t want to join Tubbo. Fundy is a furry and Purpled plays Bedwars. Wilbur is busy streaming, but he did get whitelisted and could join the server if he wanted to

- Tommy calls Tubbo asking about his old username. Ponk and Alyssa come walking down the path to his house and Alyssa sets him on fire before they walk away. Infuriated, Tommy goes and tells Sapnap he’s chosen Sapnap’s side and that they need to show Alyssa who’s boss

Tommy: “I’ve chosen so wisely. Maybe not, but still. As long as no one touches my music discs, we’re in the clear.”

- Tommy walks outside and comes face to face with Ponk and Alyssa. They attack, and Tommy runs before getting killed by Alyssa. Sapnap goes to avenge him while Tommy demands his things back. Ponk says he chose the wrong side, and Sapnap kills Alyssa

- Ponk gives Tommy back the Netherite chestplate. Tommy meets back up with Sapnap and gets his items back. Ponk towers up and Tommy shoots at him with a crossbow and misses

Tommy: “I had one shot. Oh actually no, I have multiple shots. I am like Alexander Hamilton!”

- Dream logs on. Ponk and Alyssa both call for his help as Tommy keeps shooting. Ponk falls and dies

- Sapnap congratulates Tommy on his kill. Tommy is eager to kill more people while they’re at it, and Sapnap suggests they kill Dream. Tommy agrees

- Dream is on the path by Tommy’s house in iron armor. Tommy and Sapnap easily kill him

Sapnap: THIS IS OUR LAND

Sapnap: NOONE CAN TAKE US

Sapnap: WE OWN THIS REALM

Tubbo: can I have some?

Sapnap: YOU SHALL PAY US DIAMONDS

- Tommy is disappointed that he didn’t get the killing blow and goes to kill Dream again. Dream is waiting there on the path and he asks for his items back. Tommy starts chasing him down

- Tommy thanks Wilbur for raiding him with 5,000 viewers!

- They chase after Dream. Tommy kills Alyssa and says that if Wilbur ever joins, he and Sapnap can take him under their wing and teach him PvP. They also decide to take Tubbo in as well as the builder of their new kingdom

- Ponk, Punz and Dream come running down the path. Sapnap kills Dream and Ponk. Punz attacks Tubbo and Tubbo is angry. Tommy kills Punz. The one remaining is Alyssa

- Tommy adds Tubbo to the VC. He decides to join them. Tommy spots and chases Dream down again until Dream logs out outside Tubbo’s house

Tommy: “Sapnap, it looks as though we’ve won.”

Tubbo: “I don’t think anyone’s won. You’ve burnt down most of the stuff on the server!”

Tommy: “Other -- don’t phrase it like that. Sapnap -- you know what? Hey, Tubbo, maybe you should --” (he kicks Tubbo from the call)

- Tubbo is not on their side. Dream logs back in and Tommy kills him

Dream: you have made an enemy

- Tommy declares himself now the killer of Technoblade, Timedeo and Dream. They join the general VC and start talking with Punz, Ponk and Alyssa when another message appears in chat:

Dream: I have the music discs

Dream: and I’m going to burn them

Dream: unless my stuff is returned

- Tommy freaks out and runs back to his house. Alyssa and Ponk ask for their stuff back. The discs are gone from the chest, and Punz kills Tommy. Dream arrives at Tommy’s house, now in iron armor, and kills Tommy too. Then Sapnap kills Dream. And Ponk

- Tommy asks Dream where the discs are. He speaks with Sapnap and they go to find Punz to get Tommy’s things. Tommy is angry with Sapnap for bringing him into the conflict, but they’re too far in to turn on each other

- Sapnap tells Tommy they may have to leave the main area for a while, as they’re outnumbered by their enemies. They reach the Community House, but Dream soon arrives and kills Tommy, who respawns and immediately kills Alyssa

- Tommy makes it back to the Community House. Sapnap tells him it’s time for them to blow up all the houses and burn them, but Tommy disagrees

Dream: okay

Dream: no more killing

- Sapnap immediately kills Alyssa and then gets killed by Tubbo

- They head to courthouse, Sapnap and Tommy now facing down Dream, Alyssa, Tubbo and Ponk. Sapnap whispers plans to Tommy about how to kill them. Sapnap shouts at Tommy to run, but it doesn’t work and both die

- Tommy and Dream shout at each other angrily in a call. Dream is furious at Sapnap and Tommy for jumping him out of nowhere while he was walking down the path. Sapnap tells him they thought he was on their enemy’s side

Dream: “You guys are acting like I’m an idiot, I was watching the stream! You guys both shouted ‘LET’S KILL DREAM! LET’S KILL DREAM!’ and you guys ran at me!”

Tommy: “Tommyinnit is not an idiot, I’m the furthest thing from an idiot, I’m--”

Sapnap: “Dream, you don’t understand the TYRANNY that’s going down on these lands! And you are not helping the tyranny!”

- Tommy tells Dream they should trade, offering to work for him. Dream requests an apology instead. Tommy turns around and walks away back to the Community House

- Sapnap threatens to burn it to the ground, but Dream in turn threatens to ban him for a week. Tommy tells Sapnap to calm down

Tommy: “Sapnap, you’re clearly in the wrong!”

Sapnap: “Let me explain this whole story -- I’m not in the wrong. We’re not in the wrong, Tommy. We’re not in the wrong.”

- Dream kills Sapnap and tells them his view of the story, which is that the two chased and killed him when he had no armor. Tommy starts talking. Surrounded by everyone staring at him, he feels like this is similar to another SMP he was on...

Tommy: “Hello Te -- Dream.”

- Tommy explains that Sapnap was in a conflict with someone else before, and tells Dream that he doesn’t think Sapnap is entirely right. Dream says he’ll give back Tommy’s things, but burn the discs for the crime. While Dream is distracted by Tommy, Sapnap runs away behind them

God joined the game.

Tubbo: em

God: Give me the discs.

- Tommy tells Dream he can put Dream’s name in his YouTube title instead

Dream: “All I know is you have committed a crime, and now -- even though I was not gonna choose a side, I was forced to choose the side of these people.”

- Sapnap dies to a Piglin in the Nether and Punz gets annoyed at Dream for calling him ‘these people,’ so Dream goes on to say that Punz saved him. They start arguing over who attacked who and Punz kills Sapnap

- Sapnap calls them vermin and says he’ll see Dream in MCC...They are on the same team. Sapnap and Tommy start bickering with each other

- Tommy starts leading the group back to his house. Dream kills Tommy for calling him “Techno”

- They continue arguing at the bench for a while and start negotiating a deal. Sapnap apologizes to Dream and Dream accepts it, and he gives Sapnap back his things. Tommy gets his chestplate and sword back. Tommy asks for his discs back but Dream refuses

- Dream says Tommy is not trustworthy enough to give the discs yet, but Tommy says he is often known as “Tommy Trusty.” Dream says he will give the discs back when Tommy has earned his trust

- In Tommy’s house, Dream puts an item frame with an enchanted book to remember the day. They leave Tommy with Tubbo and Tommy fills Tubbo in on what happened

- Dream says in that that he’s going to burn the discs when Tommy doesn’t tell the truth, so Tommy starts running back

-Tommy gets chased by three baby zombies. He leads his new army down the path. He tries to get them to attack Tubbo and, while Dream is shooting at the zombies, he kills Tommy

- Dream faces Sapnap at Tubbo’s house. Dream drops a piece of ham labelled “Maxx” and then Mellohi and Sapnap picks Mellohi up, running off

- While Tommy is walking back, Sapnap suddenly shouts that he has a disc and drops it to Tommy, who runs while Sapnap holds Dream off. Tommy reaches his house and goes down into the mines

- Tommy reaches a ravine and hides the disc with his screen blacked out. He turns it back on looking at a pile of granite just as Dream reaches him

- Tubbo picks up the piece of ham labelled “Maxx” and is confused

- Tommy meets up with Sapnap in the ravine while Dream searches for the disc. Dream kills both of them. Tommy comes back down to see Dream digging through the granite

- They keep the fight up for a while until Tommy sees Dream holding a disc in his hand in front of a fire. He tells Tommy to apologize

Tommy: I am sorry if you felt upset by my masculinity

- Dream drops down the disc in front of him and Tommy picks it up and runs until Dream kills him and Sapnap

- The two continue to watch as Dream mines around with thunder booming in the background

- Eventually, they speak with Dream, who is determined to find it. Tommy offers to tell him if Dream gives him the jukebox and the other disc. He whispers to Tubbo that he needs help, to come to the house and bring shields and axes

- Tommy calls Tubbo and Sapnap. With shields and axes and all of them attacking together, they might be able to take Dream. With the three of them no armed, the battle breaks out in the ravine

Tommy: “Why is there so much lightning?”

Tubbo: “It’s pathetic fallacy.”

- All three of them die, but Tommy grabs a bed as he goes back down and they set their spawns at the bottom before retrieving the axes. As they fight, Tommy asks Purpled if he wants to help them

Purpled: (whispering to Tommy) i am switzerland

- They notice gravel at the top of a chamber and break it to make it fall into a blockade with Dream at the top of it. They start getting hits on him and though Tommy dies, Tubbo gets the final hit, killing Dream

- In celebration, Tommy places down the jukebox in the ravine and the three of them listen to Cat together

- Sapnap says they should get out of there before Dream returns 

Tubbo: “I feel like we’ve killed God. God is dead.”

Tommy: “God is dead!”

Tubbo: “And we killed him.”

- Tommy explains how he created the decoy with the granite for the real disc location

- They head back up but Sapnap says Dream is up there, but Tubbo kills him again. Once at the top, Tommy hides the discs again

- While going down to the ravine, Tommy gets shot from Sapnap from above, who says he’s been hired by Dream. Tommy asks him what he’s talking about until Dream comes to Tommy’s house and kills Sapnap and Tommy

- Sapnap says he was just joking. Tommy tells Tubbo to kill Sapnap and Tubbo does. Tommy and Tubbo start running to the roof of Tubbo’s house. Sapnap is angry

- Tommy Ender Pearls out of the attic, leaving Tubbo to be killed by Dream. Tommy runs into the Nether Portal only to discover it was portal-trapped by Tubbo. Sapnap kills Tommy in the trap

- They call Sapnap and he and Tommy argue some more

Sapnap: “I’ve been battling with you all day. You think I’d betray you?”

Tommy: “Uh, yes.”

- Tommy kills Sapnap 

Tubbo: “Dude...why you gotta kill people? Why can’t you just be normal? Why? Why are you like this?”

- Tommy jumps at Tubbo, who immediately kills him. Sapnap asks what their next move is. Tommy says that they got this discs which is what they needed, since the discs are the only things that were irreplacable

- Tubbo says the discs are very replaceable and he was going to make a disc farm...

Tommy: “...AND YOU TOLD ME THIS NOW?!”

- They could’ve avoided a whole lot if Tubbo had said this earlier. As Tommy walks back to the Community House, Ponk comes over and hands Tommy the Sjiba sword

- He, Tubbo and Sapnap meet up in the Nether. Tommy says he won and got an extra music disc

Tubbo: “But I already explained to you how easy they are to get.”

Tommy: “Yeah yeah yeah but have you heard of sentimental value, dickhead?”

Tubbo: “You’re talking about a Minecraft item here. Get out.”

- Sapnap hits Tommy off the hub into the lava and he loses the Sjiba sword, which was George’s. Tubbo says they can always make another

Tommy: “You are a remorseless psychopath, alright? This is not -- You need to understand sentimental value.”

Tubbo: “I do understand sentimental value! And I think it’s a little bit shit.”

Tommy: “Hence my point.”

Tubbo: “Oh.”

- Tommy sees today as a win. Tubbo calls Sapnap “Snapmap”

Sapnap: “Tubbo, I don’t wanna have to kill you.”

Tubbo: “Try me bitch.”

- While he walks back, Tommy runs into Dream, who gives him the Netherite sword and a Netherite chestplate. Dream says he’ll look for the discs and then burn them

Tubbo suggests they make an Ender Chest for the discs: 

A mission for the next day.

---

UPCOMING ANNIVERSARY DATES:

July 11: Disc War Finale

July 12: The war over Spins the bee, Wilbur joins the server

July 16: Schlatt joins the server and is banned

July 17: Skeppy joins the server

July 19: Eret joins the server

July 24: Tommy and Wilbur start a drug business

[screamin-abt-haikyuu]

The Beast Within

An Asahi x fem! reader fic || Technically SFW but there’s sliiiightly suggestive content || Fluff at the end 

Warnings: Violence, Anger, a veiled reference to sexual stuff?? idk what else to call it

Asahi was the kindest, sweetest, most gentle person you had ever known. Even though his ace persona took over whenever he played Volleyball, in real life he was the kind of person who wouldn’t even hurt a fly. You had been friends with him for about a year and you could have sworn up and down that you had never even seen him raise his voice at anyone.

So, it came as a complete shock to you when you heard a loud thump and a crack and you turned around to see Asahi standing over a fallen figure. His right hand was balled into a fist, and there was a look of pure, unadulterated anger on his face. 

The figure, that looked like he might have been a college boy, was rolling on the ground with his hands covering his mouth, groaning in pain. Suga and Daichi ran to aid their friend and you watched in utter disbelief as Asahi lifted the man roughly by his collar and raised his fist, looking ready to strike again. 

The whimpering boy, half-hanging in air, held up by his collar with Asahi towering over him and his bleeding nose, ready to strike again; the entire scene sent chills down your spine. Asahi looked like he had every intention of killing the boy in front of him and you finally realized what other people meant when they said Asahi was scary. You had never taken any heed to those words before because he had always been such a teddy bear but today, in this moment, you had goosebumps. And for the first time in your life, you were afraid of Asahi Azumane. 

The terror must have been written all over your face because Asahi looked up at that moment, saw your face and his expression seemed to soften a little. His eyes still sparkled with rage but he lowered his fist. He loosened his hold on the person’s collar but instead of simply letting go, he pushed him into the ground as he stood up. 

He stepped away from him and as he walked away, Suga opened his mouth to say something but he stopped him before he could get any words out. “Suga, not now, please. I need some space to clear my head and calm down for a bit.” Even though he said those words in a normal tone, there was a “no nonsense” air about it and Suga nodded meekly as Asahi walked away. You watched with your mouth half open as he walked past you, not meeting your eyes and his face as serious as it could get. 

Suga and Daichi came up to you and so did Kiyoko after a few minutes. 

Suga: W-What the hell?!?! W-What happened?

Daichi, staring with his eyes wide at Asahi’s retreating figure, was at a complete loss for words. “I have never seen him like this. Ever. Almost three years I have known him and I have never even seen him even talk to strangers without fumbling over his words, much less get violent-”

Who would have thought today would turn out to be like this? It was your last year in High School and you and your group of friends (Kiyoko, Asahi, Daichi and Suga) had all decided to take a weekend trip down to the beach together. Asahi had looked exceptionally hot today in his red Hawaiian shirt (which he had conveniently left open at the front) and his perfect abs had been quite a distraction for you as you tried to enjoy your time with your closest friends. 

You had looked no less, though. With your maroon one-piece swimsuit with slits on the sides, showing off your waist and perfectly hugging your curves, you had looked absolutely smoking. 

After a long day of frolicking in the water, splashing and chasing each other around and playing a lot of beach volleyball, you all had decided to relax and take a stroll through the beachside market. Kiyoko and Asahi had somehow gone ahead of the group while you strolled around lazily, idly chatting with Suga and Daichi. You had been browsing through a souvenir stall when the entire incident took place.

Which brings us back to the present. 

“- I’m sure he must have had a good reason but for Asahi to do something like this???” Daichi said as he paced around. 

It’s true. Even in your wildest dreams, you couldn’t have imagined Asahi like this. 

“He deserved it,” Kiyoko said quietly. 

All three heads turned to her instantly. 

“You know what happened, Shimizu?” Suga asked.

She nodded. 

“Tell us!” 

“I- I’m not sure if he would want me to say,” Kiyoko replied. But as she said it, she was looking at you with a slightly troubled expression on her face. 

“What’s that expression- why are you looking at me like that, Kiyoko?” you ask.

“It’s nothing-” Suga intervened, "It's obviously not nothing I mean this is Asahi we are talking about. It must have been something really serious for him to act like this. Please, Kiyoko. Tell us.”

Kiyoko sighed, “Well, I guess it’s not exactly a secret since that guy was really loud.”

“So, Asahi was shopping at that stall over there,” she said, turning around and pointing to the stall that was located right next to where the altercation took place, “and I was helping him choose something when these two college boys came by us.”

“They seemed really drunk and they were talking very loudly. The guy in the green shirt saw Y/N standing here with Suga and Daichi and he whistled. He thought he was far away from you so he could say whatever he wanted. 

He started commenting on your body and how sexy you looked.” 

Kiyoko stopped to read your expression. You could tell she was hesitant about continuing her story because she did not want to make you feel uncomfortable.

“It’s okay, Kiyoko. I want to know what he said.”

 Kiyoko continued, “Then he proceeded to describe to his friend in detail - uh - the - uh - things he.... wanted to do you. It was absolutely filthy and vile and even I am not comfortable repeating his words.” You can tell how bad it must have been by the way Kiyoko shivered as she completed her sentence. 

“I had no idea Azumane would react the way he did, though. He walked up to the guy and tapped him on the shoulder. I assumed he probably wanted to tell him off or ask him to go away or, at the most, threaten him with his intense expression like he usually does. But as soon as the guy turned to look at him, he just straight up punched him in the face.”

“Wow. Yeah, he totally deserved it,” Suga said, looking deep in thought, “Even so, I would have never expected Asahi to use physical force. I swear, I have never even seen the guy so much as swat a bug away. Although, it also kind of makes sense seeing that it was Y/N that guy was talking about.”

You frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

A look of panic flashed across Suga’s face before he said, “I m-mean, seeing that you’re one of his best friends! He would totally feel protective about you.” 

Your eyes narrowed in suspicion and you also didn’t miss Daichi and Kiyoko glancing at each other when Suga faltered. However, you didn’t press the matter further. You were more worried about Asahi at this point. 

“I should go find him and see if he is okay. You guys should look for a nice place where we can have a chill dinner. Preferably with no alcohol,” you say, rolling your eyes. The others nodded and you set off to find Asahi. 

It wasn’t difficult to find him. The sun hadn’t set yet so it was still bright out and his red shirt and large build were hard to miss. He was sitting in a rather secluded part of the beach, surrounded by large rocks on both sides. He didn’t seem angry at all anymore. He seemed to be deep in thought as he stared at the ocean in front of him. 

“You okay?” 

Your voice broke him out of his reverie and he turned to see you standing behind him. 

“Y-Yeah” he seemed almost apologetic as he answered you. 

“Do you mind if I sit here with you?”

You were not sure if he wanted you near him or to talk to you since he had asked Suga for some space so you were very hesitant while asking him this. 

He winced. “I knew it. I scared you. I am so so sorry.”

“W-what? I didn’t mean-” He stood up. “I saw it in your face. I saw how you looked at me when I... when I punched that guy. I saw how terrified you were of me.”

He wasn’t meeting your eyes, instead he was looking straight down at the ground and, large as he was, he seemed to shrink before you with every word that came out of his mouth.

“I-” you were at a loss of words. He was right, you HAD been scared of him in that moment. You couldn’t control how you reacted to the situation. But before you could start to speak, he continued.

“You were one person who never thought I was scary. You always treated me like a normal person. You were never scared to approach me.

But I am afraid that I ruined that tonight with my behaviour. I have seen that look thousands of times in people’s eyes whenever they look at me. But-” his voice was cracking now, “P-please believe me when I say that I did it for a reason. I cannot tell you the reason but I would do it again in a heartbeat. I know you are probably going to be scared of me from now on. But please believe me, I would never, ever in my life even think of hurting yo-”

He was cut off as you threw your arms around him and enveloped him in a tight hug. He was so surprised by your reaction that it took a moment for him to return the hug. When he did, he buried his face in your shoulder and you could feel his tears on your bare skin.

“I already know what happened.”

He broke away from you and looked at you in surprise, his eyes red. 

“Yes. Kiyoko told me most of it. She didn’t elaborate on what the guy said exactly though but I can guess it wasn’t pretty. And it’s true, I did feel scared at that moment. But it was just a reaction. The look in your eye was murderous and I have never seen you this way. So it surprised me. And scared me. But now that I know why you did what you did, I am not scared anymore.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Really. Thank you for always looking out for me.” 

“O-of course.” and after a brief pause, “How are the others doing?”

“They’re fine. I asked them to look for a restaurant for dinner tonight. Let’s go to them?”

“Yeah uh- before we do that, I - uh - wanted to give you something.”

“Oh?”

Asahi was blushing when he took something out of his pocket. You put your hand out and he placed something on your palm. Your eyes widened as you looked at what he gave you. It was a seashell pendant. 

“Oh my God, it’s beautiful!! And in my favourite colour too! I had been looking for one like this since ages!”

“Yeah, you had mentioned it in passing once when we were planning this trip. This is what I was buying when, you know, shit happened. I asked Kiyoko to help me pick it out for you because I didn’t want to get the wrong thing.”

“I can’t believe you remembered that! It’s perfect and I love it! Can you help me wear it?” you asked him, handing the pendant back to him.  “Y-yeah,” he blushed. You turned your back to him and held up your hair with one arm so that he could put the necklace on easily. You could feel his breath on the back of your neck as he placed the necklace delicately on you. He used his fingers to move away stray hairs and his touch was so gentle that it sent shivers down your spine (the good kind this time).

As he fumbled around with the delicate clasp with his large fingers, he spoke, “I - uh - I - I- actually wanted to tell you something.”

You could tell he was really nervous. You waited for him to continue. 

“I-I know it’s our last year and soon we will probably be in different cities and this is probably the last thing you want to hear from me right now but-”

The clasp snapped into place and the necklace was now secure around your neck. You turned around to face him. 

“But?” you reached your hand out to hold his. 

He was really taken aback by your action and his eyes widened. It seemed to give him some confidence.

“B-But I know I will regret it for the rest of my life if I don’t ask you when I have the chance. A chance that I thought I’d lost forever today. So, Y/N, I really, really like you. I have liked you for a long time now and you are the most wonderful person I have ever met. A-and I was wondering if you w-would like to go out with me?”

“I really, really like you too, Asahi.” You were smiling widely as you said “Yes” and stood on your toes to give him a light kiss on his forehead. 

Asahi was blushing furiously now. You laughed out loud at how flustered he was. It was good to have the goofy, old teddy bear back. 

As you linked your arm through his and walk back to your friends, you couldn’t help but be giddy with happiness. 

You were going out with the best, most gentle, most caring person you have ever known. But you now know that there is a beast within him. A beast that will do anything to protect you. 

FIN.

Thanks for reading!! Hope you liked it. 

Sorry if you think it is ooc for Asahi but I do think that, when it comes to it, he is the kind of person who would go to any lengths to protect the people he cares about. Case in point, when he used his looks to scare off two boys who were trying to hit on Kiyoko during the third years’ shrine visit (manga only scene).

I am kind of not really satisfied with this one but I also just spent more than half a day writing this so I didn’t want to ditch it halfway. 

Reblogs, likes and follows are very much appreciated.

Buy me a Kofi! <3

[bratkook]

sick entertainment. (m) kth

pairing. hitman!taehyung x hitman!reader genre. smut, pwp warnings. mentions of guns, slight depictions of violence/murder, they’re both hitmen please don’t read if whats mentioned is triggering, they make some dark jokes (they’re sick okay lmao) smut in forms of: oral sex, fingering, unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, choking, dirty talk but its all playful despite it all hehe word count. 6.3k note. this is a request based off #85 off this prompt list (now closed) thank you for sending this in! 🖤 also uh….this may become a series, in which case, consider this a saucy prologue that gives you a glimpse into tae/oc’s...interesting... relationship

The slamming of the door makes Taehyung cock his eyebrow, a sly smile spreading across his face as he mindlessly watches the television, his ears listening to the way your feet stomp on the concrete floors of the loft, no doubt a trail of fire following your path. A laugh is begging to make its way out of him, chest trembling from holding it in because he knows he’s in deep shit, he’d known it the second he had interfered. 

Blame it on his playful personality, or maybe his need of meddling in business that very clearly wasn’t his, either way the second he heard the name of the next target you were assigned he knew he had to make a game out of it. Is it sick, or twisted? Maybe, but the man was a well known scumbag, a slimey wannabe mobster that has far too many hits out for him it’s a shock he still has a pulse, well had considering you were back now. 

Like every single assignment, he knew this one wouldn’t be missed, wouldn’t even have a news report made on him. It was the main reason why you were able to get away with it all, despite the police showing up for investigations whenever any unlucky bystander stumbled upon their body, they never seemed to dive deeper into who did it. They didn’t have to, they weren’t stupid, knowing not to bite the hand that fed them. 

As long as they continued to get a small portion of cash funneled into their department and you all continued to wipe out the low lives that made their job so hard, then there really was no crime committed. 

Namjoon called it transactional, but Taehyung called it boring. He liked it messy, enjoyed the thrill of it all, the possibility of not getting away with it, and with the help of police it took that all away from him. 

You knew he was up to no good, the gleam in his eyes when you had mentioned who you were hitting next spelled it out for you. Knowing Taehyung like the back of your hand made you wary, accustomed to the way his brain worked like a minefield, he was someone you had to watch from a distance and analyze before deciding your next move. 

“Welcome home honey.” Taehyung sings out playfully when he senses you getting closer, that same smile plastered on his face as he turns to face you, only getting wider when he notices the shiny black gun in your palm, one that actually belonged to him. It wasn’t your usual choice, something you no doubt swiped from its hiding spot when you came in, but you couldn’t exactly conceal the sniper you had used an hour prior enough to make it undetected in your hands on your way to your apartment. 

He knew it was currently disassembled and tucked into your backpack as you chucked it aside and marched your way over to him, hand clenched around the grip of his Ruger with murder so evident in your eyes. Taehyung doesn’t think you’ve ever looked cuter, even as you raise it up towards his chest once you close the distance between you. 

“You’re on thin ice Taehyung,” you laugh as you round the couch, standing directly in front of his sitting form, still casually sunken against the cushions as if you weren’t aiming for his heart. “You really think Namjoon’s going to let you come back if I tell him you’re playing games with my targets?”

Your boyfriend sighs at that, a roll of his eyes being sent your way as he drops his head to rest along the back of the couch with a groan. He didn’t need you to remind him of his current standing with Namjoon, knowing fully well that he had crossed a line by smashing that random man’s face into the fancy bar counter for simply looking at you. It wasn’t fair really, had he taken the time to get to know the guy he would have realized just how high up that random man was in terms of connections, but Taehyung could blame his tunnel vision for cutting the introductions short. 

Like you said, his brain was a minefield, one wrong step was all it took before his fingers were tangling into the poor man’s hair and connecting his face with the wooden counter. He wasn’t even sure what set him off, the edges of his sight blurring together as he wrapped his fingers around his throat, pulling out the small gun he always had tucked away with him, pressing the muzzle against his temple and laughing maniacally as the man tried to pry his hands off of him. 

He liked to keep things exciting, but unfortunately for him that excitement ended up costing Namjoon far too much in order to keep Taehyung from being thrown into jail, which would have arguably been a lot better than being stuck on what could be considered probation, no longer able to work unless Namjoon deemed it acceptable. 

“Children shouldn’t play with guns.” Taehyung mocks, hoping to distract you while his eyes stayed glued to the end of the barrel, following it as you inched it closer with a wicked smile on your face. He knew he was on thin ice, nearly ruining your shot, potentially resulting in the target escaping because of his stupid game. That wasn’t too big of an issue, the chase made it fun some times, but considering this target had a bigger money sign tacked onto their back there would be no way you could let a fuck up slide. 

He smiles still, lips curling up and showing his teeth as he focuses on your face now, seeing the way you look at him. You had those crazy eyes he loved to see, full of adrenaline, body still buzzing from earlier, analyzing his every move as you tuck the end of the cold barrel under his chin and slowly cock the safety back with a soft click. 

“Who said I was playing?”

The small flash of excitement sparks in his eyes as you dig the muzzle into his skin, his mouth dropping open as he breathes out a laugh, his large palm coming to clutch around your own, urging the gun further into his skin. 

“Do it,” he taunts, guiding your fingers to slide over the trigger, floating off of it as you observe him. 

“I should’ve done it the second I saw you leaving that bastards apartment” you threaten, remembering the rage you had felt when you witnessed your boyfriend exit the complex and look directly up at the building across from him, knowing you would be perched on the ledge with your gun aimed at the window as you waited. The childlike wave he had sent you from the ground made you want to change your aim towards him, the urge to pull the trigger only increasing when he sent you a simple text telling you to enjoy the chase. 

That was the first push of the domino that sent everything collapsing and as you peeked through the window and saw your target frantically packing a bag as he looked around you couldn’t stop the flash of annoyance from flaring inside of you. It didn’t take much guessing to figure out that Taehyung had notified him that his head was on the line and now he was going to try to run. 

It was supposed to be a clean job, it was the main reason you preferred to use a sniper instead of the slightly more intimate methods used by the others, all you had to do was disassemble your Sako and get yourself off whatever ledge you were on and that was it, job completed. Anticipating a chase was not something you thought would happen today but the second he began to shove clothes into some random bag you knew you were losing your window of opportunity. 

“How far did he get?” Taehyung laughs, eyes full of mischief as you glare at him, that tiny smirk on your face giving you away, showing him just how amused you were at his antics despite the gun pressed against his skin

“The stairwell.” You knew the layout of his building well enough to know exactly what exit route he would take, beginning the chase Taehyung had been so eager to start. Having to get down from your spot and somehow beat him before he left his apartment was too far fetched, but catching him before he exited the complex completely was the only thing that kept you from admitting defeat. 

Your heart continues to rapidly beat in your chest as you recall it, how your lungs had burned as you took the stairs two at a time once you managed to get inside the complex, nearly ramming into your target as he rounded the stairwell in his haste to leave undetected. 

Had it not been for his already set paranoia he would have simply shoved you aside, not expecting a girl to be the one in charge of taking him out, but the second he spots the unhinged look in your face, the way your eyes glimmer when you realize you caught him, he knows it's too late to run. Thankfully for you, he accepted his fate pretty easily after that. 

“Did you leave a mess?” 

“I couldn’t use my Sako you asshole.”

Taehyung laughs freely now, his other hand coming to scoop around your waist and pull you closer, your thighs slotting between his. If you couldn’t use your precious Sako he knew you were pissed, hence the gun to his throat. There was nothing you hated more than having to come in close contact with whoever you were meant to kill, you weren’t a fan of the bargaining they tried to make with you, not particularly enjoying seeing their face as you pressed the suppressor of your Beretta between their eyes before you pulled the trigger. 

“Is that why you’re so trigger happy right now?” He’s taunting you, biting his lip as he smiles up at you, eyes widening slightly as you gingerly place your finger on the trigger. “C’mon, teach me a lesson. Shoot me.”

You don’t need to be told twice. 

The second the last word leaves his mouth, your finger presses down on the trigger, the brief moment of shock is painted across his face when he hears the click, eyes squinting when he expects the searing pain that was sure to follow but it never came. In a blink of an eye his hands are expertly releasing the magazine of his Ruger, letting it fall into his grip as he brings it close to really check to see that it was in fact empty, something you no doubt did the second you entered the loft. 

Your joyous laughter fills the air instantly, dropping the gun from its position as you lose yourself in the giggles that escape you. “You should have seen your face.”

Taehyung continues to stare at the empty magazine, looking up at you incredulously, the beginning of a smile once again gracing his face at the pure shock that you actually pulled the trigger. “You were gonna fucking shoot me.”

“Oh please, like I’d ever shoot you–“

“You have!” He remarks, snatching the gun from your grasp and sliding the magazine back into place, remembering the time you gave him a warning shot to the shoulder the last time he tried to meddle in your business. Sure you might have just grazed his skin but a trigger was still pulled. 

Taehyung chuckles when you plop onto the couch next to him, body still trembling with laughter as you wipe underneath your eyes for any stray tears. “Don’t tell me to shoot you if you don’t actually want me to”

“You’re a psycho,” he jests, tossing the gun safely aside as he faces you, seeing the oh so innocent smile on your lips. 

“Don’t act so surprised.” He’s not, knowing you were two peas in a pod, just the right amount of crazy to level each other out, if any more was added to either of you there would no doubt be actual shots fired. It worked though, a nice balance between you that allowed the relationship to go on as long as it has. 

“You’d never actually do it,” he sighs, slinging an arm over your shoulder and pulling you into his side, smug with the fact that you would never actually hurt him. “You’d miss me too much.”

“Would I?” A teasing laugh fills the air as your hand glides up his chest, fingers trailing towards his neck until they curl around his skin, feeling the rhythmic pulsing of his heart. When your fingers tighten around his neck he chuckles, the vibrations felt against your palm. 

The arm slung around your shoulder slides down to your back, scooping you over until you’re settling onto his thighs in his favorite position, a mischievous glint to his eyes flashing when you look at him.  “You definitely would baby, who else would be here to drive you crazy like I do?” His deep voice pulls you in, dripping from his tongue in a manner that makes you want to lean forward and savor every drop. 

“Should we find out?”

Taehyung just drops his head back once more, a cynical lift to his lips when you bring up your second hand to wrap around his thick neck, fingers digging further into his skin. “Please, don’t threaten me with a good time.”

“You’re sick,” you laugh out, squealing when his hands tighten their grip around your waist, his head leveling out as he stares at you with that same glint in his eyes. 

“I know I am, but you like it.” A gasp leaves your mouth as he slides you further up his lap, clothed core pressing into the slowly growing bulge in his pants. “Don’t act like I forgot the little stunt you pulled this morning.” 

Flashes of this morning play in your mind, the way you had teased him the minute he woke up and felt his cock pressed against you. You couldn’t help yourself when you rolled on top of him, kissing and biting his neck while you slowly rolled your hips above him. Taehyung honestly isn’t complaining about it, who wouldn’t love starting their morning off with their girlfriend so hell bent on making them cum.

The only downside of it all was the fact that you actually hadn’t made him cum, leaving him high and dry with an evil laugh as you rolled back off of him and went about your morning as if you hadn’t just committed an awful crime. That may be the reason Taehyung was so insistent on making your assignment tonight a fun little game for the two of you to play and now that that was done and over with he could finally have you on top of him just like this morning.

“You’re telling me you don’t like when I play games with you?” He huffs out a laugh at the teasing kick to your voice, a sinful smile on your lips as you allow him to unzip your sweater, tugging the loose material off your body to reveal the simple black shirt you wore underneath.

“That wasn’t a game, it was torture.” His words are muffled as he leans forward, lips pressing kisses into your skin, breath fanning out and sending tingles down your spine. It was funny how he could pick and choose what was classified as a game, the earlier antics he caused seeming more like torture than you grinding on him at the crack of dawn but you’d let him believe it.

The hold you have on his neck loosens, your arms spreading out to allow him to slip the sweater off of you entirely, large palms now coming to roam over the small sliver of exposed skin that peeked out under the hem of your shirt. “You know what would be so hot?” His cold fingers leave a trail of goosebumps as he inches the material up, little by little, revealing your belly button, the edge of your bra coming next as you hum in question. 

“If you ever wore some hot ass latex or leather on the job.” He groans unabashedly at the thought of you in a tight leather corset, boobs accentuated as it hugged your skin. Maybe you’d wear a cute little garter with your Beretta tucked into it, or one of those adorable daggers you had grown so fond of recently. 

It might be a wet dream of his but you just snort at the thought, not being able to imagine yourself getting a decent shot with something so restrictive on, god forbid Taehyung decided to play another game of cat and mouse you’re not so sure a leather corset would hold as you chased your target. 

“That's so impractical, I’ll do it for you here though.” That appeases him, a smug smile on his lips as he continues to pull up your shirt, taking his time as if he was unwrapping his favorite present. With your red bra fully revealed he sighs in appreciation, tossing the shirt aside without a care to fully admire you. 

His hands cup over your bra, thumbs gently tracing the swell of your breasts before giving a rough squeeze that makes you breathe out a laugh. “Will you really?” He questions, keeping a good hold on you as he flips you over, flat on your back with your head resting by the armrest of the couch. Your elbows hold you up as you smile at him, dazed as you watch him tug up his grey shirt and throw it off to the side. 

“Yeah, only if you buy that cute maid costume I found and wear it for me.” Taehyung doesn’t even think twice before agreeing, stomach tensing up as your fingers trace along his skin, circling around the random scars that litter his body from close encounters and senseless fights. They serve as physical reminders of your boyfriend’s careless behavior, that minefield mentality making the worst decisions possible in the name of getting a quick thrill. You follow them up until you reach the tiny scar you were responsible for on his shoulder, shallow and faded to a lighter tan now that it was healed.

“I told you, you’re trigger happy.” His hand grasps your own, bringing it back down to the couch as he chuckles. “I think you’re a danger to society Y/N.” 

“Hm, am I?” Your voice drawls out as you stretch out, enjoying the way he watches you like a predator would his prey, sharp eyes hyper focused on your every move and you swear he can hear how your heart races in your chest. When he simply hums in response, nimble fingers beginning to unbutton your jeans, you can only giggle and help him as best as you can, lifting your hips and pulling your legs until the tight material has joined the growing pile on the floor.

Taehyung slots between your thighs with ease now, hands digging into the sofa as he holds himself up and leans forward to kiss you once more. His breath is felt on your face as he groans at the taste of you, forever loving the feeling of your lips on his, an endless craving he would never get over. You taste like your favorite chapstick, sweet like candy, and when his tongue peeks out to get a better dose you breathe his name out in a sigh that sounds like music to his ears.

Resting his weight on his knees, his hands are set on their mission, palms sliding underneath you until they reach the back clasp of your bra, expertly unhooking it until it snaps against your skin. A playful laugh is passed between your mouths as he does so, his teeth gently nipping at your lips before he begins his descent. Sloppy kisses are pressed along your jaw as he pulls the straps of your garment down your arms and lets it fall onto the floor.

As he reaches the juncture of your neck he takes a nice inhale, chuckling when he catches the hint of your sweet shampoo mixed with the metallic tang of gunpowder. “You smell like work–“

“Get off, I’m gonna shower!” You try to swat him off of you but he’s quick to grasp your hands, pinning them above your head, giving you a wicked smile as he stares down at you, loving the way your nose twitches in anger at being held down by his arms and hips. 

So cute. 

“No, I finally have you right where I want you.”

“Is that so?” Taehyung chooses not to answer you as he starts to continue the trail of kisses down your neck, grabbing both wrists in one hand as his other trails down your chest. The ticklish feeling leaves you fidgeting around as he grabs a handful of your tits, squeezing the flesh before slowly circling around your nipple until it hardens at the sensation. The wet path of kisses passes your collarbones, soft smacks of his lips on your skin as he nears your neglected breast, kisses around the swell of them in a teasing way.

When he finally envelopes your other nipple into his mouth you gasp, arching your back to push more of you into his mouth, feeling the vibrating hum against your skin as his tongue flicks around your areola. Tingles shoot up your spine as he pinches your nipple in his fingers, pinching and rolling the bud between his grasp, the feeling of his sharp teeth press into your skin when he smiles at the way you react to his touch, soft moans flowing past your lips the longer he teases you.

With a slight pop, he releases your nipple, a satisfied laugh hitting the air when he sees the way it’s covered in a sheen of his saliva, rising and falling with each of your breaths. His palm still holds your hands hostage but as you fidget in his grasp he releases them, allowing you to tangle your fingers in his hair, yanking at the soft tufts of dark brown until you were content.

“So this is right where you want me?”

“Almost.”

“Almost?”

“Yeah,” he leans up and kisses you once more before trailing down your body, your hands still tangled in his hair as he descends in the same fashion as before, an endless trail of smooches down your ribs, across your torso and around your belly button. The final kisses are pressed into your hips as his fingers hook into the band of your underwear, pulling the waistband of your matching red thong up at the sides and letting it snap against your skin like an annoying child, snickering at the sound it makes. 

When you nudge your knee against his sides he stops fooling around, finally yanking them down your thighs, gingerly unhooking them from around your feets to be forgotten entirely now that he stares down at your exposed pussy. A smile graces his face at the sight, folds wet and glistening, already messy in a way he couldn’t resist as he glides his face against your inner thighs. “This is where I want you.”

Your fingers twirl around his hair as he messily kisses around your lower lips, eyes falling shut as you focus on each touch on your body, the brief nudge of his nose, the had press of his lips and finally, the cool sensation of his saliva as he licks a broad stripe up your slit, tongue collecting the drips of your arousal. 

“Fuck, Taehyung.” It comes out as a mewl, head dropping back in awe when he repeats the motion, tongue slipping through your folds, the tip of it meeting your clit in a small jolt that leaves you breathless. He could do this all day, feel each stinging pull on his scalp that accompanies each flick of his tongue, your cries of pleasure only increasing when he spreads your folds apart and dives in with new set determination.

The messy smacks and slurps blend in with your choked breath, mingling in between each gasped syllable that make up his name, pleas of more that he can’t deny. Soft lips wrap around your sensitive nub, sucking gently in a way he knows you love, spelled out by your thighs spreading further apart, hips rutting into his face in desperation.

These deliberate flicks against your bundle of nerves are set to tease, proven when he stops altogether with an evil smile, your arousal coating his chin but he doesn’t mind it, revelling in the harsh yank you deliver to his hair at his stopping.

“Baby has a temper, it sucks to be teased huh?” Taehyung’s words are spoken through a smirk, mouth dropped open as he laughs carelessly, head pulled back by your hold on his hair. The cute pout on your lips doesn’t look threatening in the least, not when he can see just how close you are to falling apart, the subtle twitch of your thighs being telling enough.

“I promise, I’ll never do that again. Just make me cum, please.” His eyes glimmer now, teeth biting down on his lower lip when you guide him back down to your swollen lips, wet with a mixture of your arousal and his spit.

“Deal.” Without wasting another second, his lips are back on you, long fingers joining in as he circles your entrance, slowly easing their way inside in a familiar stretch that makes you arch your back. He smiles against you as he feels the tight ring of muscles wrapped around him, the soft walls of your pussy felt along his fingertips as he curves his digits inside of you, not content until you’re gasping above him as he tickles along your gspot.

“K-keep doing that.” You beg him, mouth dropping open as another moan spills out when he does as you ask, fingers pumping into you, rubbing along your sweet patch as his tongue continues to ravish you, circling and sucking on your clit to give you the release you crave.

“Ah, fuck I’m close.”

Taehyung holds in his laugh as your feet slide along the top of the couch, searching for some leverage as you lose yourself in the feeling. The grip you have on his hair tightens as you near your release, body set alight with each thrust of his fingers, eyes screwed shut as you savor it all. He can feel the way your walls squeeze his fingers, leaving his cock hard in his jeans when he thinks of the way your walls will feel around him next.

With a final flick against your clit you’re shouting out his name, flashes of light sparking behind your closed lids as your body tenses up, limbs rendered useless as the wave of your climax washes over you. Taehyung always loved the way your bones turned into jello when the pleasure rocked through you, fingers losing their grip and thighs flopping onto the couch when he pulled away, face looking entirely satisfied by your reaction.

“That was exactly how I wanted you.” A messy kiss is placed onto your hip once more, leaving a wet spot in its wake that can be attributed to the remnants of your orgasm coating his lips.

“Yeah, you know how I want you?” you pant, giggling when his kisses turn ticklish, eyes looking up at you in question. “Fucking me so hard I forget I’m still mad at you.”

Oh, he could do that no problem. 

It’s almost comical how quickly he’s able to get out of his jeans and underwear, his hand wrapping around his cock as he kneels onto the couch again. A smile spreads along his lips when he takes note of the look on your face as you stare at him, eyes following his hand as he lazily pumps his length. 

There's pure mischief in your eyes, a tiny devil on your shoulder that cheers at the prospect of you getting what you want, thighs spreading further apart in invitation for him. Taehyung presses his lips together as his thumb rolls over the tip of his cock, smearing the beads of precum around the swollen head before giving himself a gentle squeeze as he inches forward. 

It feels like time stands still as you watch with bated breath when he guides his cock to your entrance, a gasp slipping through your lips when he slaps the head of his cock against your sensitive clit, enjoying the small shudder that courses through your body with a discreet laugh.

“Taehyung,” you whine, rutting your hips up impatiently for him to hurry up. He finds pleasure in this though, his constant need to play games with you out ruling anything else.

“What?” He probes, smiling at you as if he didn’t have his dick inches from entering you.

“Fuck me, c’mon.” Your words trail off as his tip presses against you, slowly breaching your entrance in a familiar stretch that leaves your mind spinning. Taehyung can’t even get himself to make a sly remark like he always does, tease you about how messy you were before he even properly fucked you, no his head is wiped out of any witty comment, only able to focus on how amazing you feel around him. 

“Shit,” he gasps out, sliding into you with ease from how wet you were, the slick coating your thighs and dripping down onto the couch beneath you. You find comfort in the feeling of his hands sliding up your thighs as he bottoms out, fingers gripping onto your hips so tightly it dimples your skin, holding you still before sliding back out of you in a wet squelch. Taehyung can’t get himself to look away at the visual, how his cock shines in the light, coated in the strings of your arousal.

A choked moan reaches his ears the second he starts to thrust into you, hands keeping you still to prevent you from sliding around from the quick pace he knows you love. Your own hands scramble to reach down, fingers wrapping around his arms to ground yourself as he snaps his hips into you, the laughter mixing with delighted moans letting him know he wasn’t being too rough. No you would never think that, wanting nothing more than to let Taehyung have his way with you, hips knocking into yours with each rock, the head of his cock kissing your cervix in a dull throb that left your nerves on edge.

“Just like that,” you mewl, his attention dragging away from your soaked cunt, looking up at you and seeing the dazed expression on your face. Seeing you like this definitely topped the adorable way you had held a gun to his chest, broken down and vulnerable all because of him. It was a privilege he didn’t take lightly, allowed to see you in a light he knew others hadn’t.

“Fuck you feel so good, so warm,” his words are spoken quietly, almost like a train of thought that hadn’t meant to escape but he means them, completely lost in the way your walls flutter around him, each pulse leaving him grunting in ecstasy. 

“You’re right,” you start with a laugh, “I would miss you”

That grabs his attention, hips never slowing as he tilts his head in curiosity. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, no one else could fuck me as good as you do.” He chuckles at that, looking down at you and seeing the evil glint in your eyes as you smile, voice as sweet as honey when you ask him, “Would you miss me?”

Taehyung hums thoughtfully at your question, eyes falling shut when you clench around him on purpose, a teasing laugh leaving your lips as his mind blanks momentarily. “I don’t know, should we find out?” He mocks your earlier phrase as he trails his own hand up your body to your neck, large palm easily wrapping around it. He’s no stranger to the flash of excitement on your face, having grown used to the way you’d beg him to choke you so often it was like second nature now.

Call it sick but it made your brain turn into mush, made you abandon all dignity whenever he wrapped his hands around you. Maybe it should instill a sense of fear into you, knowing those same hands had done so much harm to others, the countless times they’ve been wrapped around other targets with the intent to kill. The soft glimmer in his eyes settles any thoughts before you can even have them, the twisted version of love spelled out in the curl of his lips as he asks if this is okay comforts you because you know he’ll never actually hurt you. 

“Tighter,” you mumble out, smirking when he listens, fingers pressing into your skin deliciously. The minute his hands are properly wrapped around you its like your body is lit up, every nerve ending spazzing out, allowing you to feel the pleasure tenfold as his cock continues to fuck you. Each obscene squelch of his cock mixed with the added feeling of him grinding into your clit makes your brain go fuzzy, your legs wrapping around his waist in an effort to keep him closer.

Taehyung knew you loved to be choked, loved to feel the pounding of your blood rushing through your ears, the way the edges of your vision would fade out, his own face speckled in black as the feeling spread. His eyes never leave yours, amazement displayed in them at seeing you fall apart, your small hand laying on top of his in a sense of security. Your chest rises and falls with each breath, the moans and cries only getting softer as your orgasm approaches you, eyes threatening to close.

He knows the signs too well, waiting for the right moment and just before he knows you’ll cum he releases your throat, the sudden rush of unrestricted blood flow pushing you over the edge and intensifying the feeling. It’s evident in the way you gush around his cock, body tensing as your climax crashes through you, your arms desperately clinging onto him as he fucks you through it, soft hushes and whispers pressed into your skin as he kisses you gently. 

Your mind wipes out entirely, eyes screwed shut as you come down, body buzzing with sensitivity as you ooze around his cock, leaving an unholy mess beneath you. “Fuck, I’m cumming.” He groans out, the desperate cries and soft mewls of his name are what finally push him over, spilling into you in ribbons of white, rutting his hips a few more times before stilling altogether, panting above you with sweat coating his hairline.

“I’d miss you too.” He mumbles out with a shy smile, gently brushing away the stray hairs from your face as you try to catch your breath. His face looks soft now, almost squishy as his cheeks puff out, it was hard to believe that was the face of a killer.

“Hmm, certified psycho Kim Taehyung goes soft for his girlfriend, who should I notify?” 

He snorts at your retort, pulling out of you only to flop on top of you without a care in the world, nuzzling his face into your hair because he secretly loved the smell of your shampoo mixed with the gunpowder he had teased you about earlier. “Maybe the FBI, I’m pretty sure they’d love to know the name of any accomplice.”

“I’m not your accomplice.”

“Right my bad, they think I work alone.” He chuckles as he recounts the way the crooked cops had notified them of the FBI’s increased interest in Taehyung after he had smashed that man’s head in. Really who would have pegged the guy as an FBI agent. It didn’t raise too many concerns for him though, Taehyung hardly meddled in foreign affairs in the states anyways. 

Before you’re able to tease him about his fuck ups once more the incessant ring of your phone drones off from the floor. With a groan from Taehyung he’s reaching down and pulling the device free from your sweater’s pocket,seeing it was Namjoon calling, no doubt ready to ask how the assignment went but Taehyung swipes the screen to answer. 

“You know, you really know how to kill the mood.”

Your jaw drops as you laugh, attempting to swat at him to grab your phone free from it’s confines but he’s determined, holding it tightly against his ears with a devilish smile.

“Keep it up Taehyung, you’ll be on probation until I say so.” Namjoon’s voice is heard loud and clear through your phone’s speaker, the eye roll your boyfriend gives being comical enough, his mood being dampened at the reminder. With a pout of his lips he’s handing you the phone, getting off of you with a slight grimace when he feels just how sweaty you two had gotten.

Your conversation is quick, finished by the time he was done cleaning up, exiting your room with new clothes on and your favorite robe to hand you. The very evident smile on your lips shows whatever you two talked about must have been good, no doubt having gotten endless praise from Namjoon along with a new assignment. “I know that smile, what’s up.”

Slipping the robe on with a sigh you stand up and wrap your arms around his waist, peering up at him in delight. “I get to use my Sako next week.”

He can only shake his head at the tone in your voice, speaking about using your favorite gun on a target like it was a shiny new doll for you to play with. “You’re psycho you know that.”

“Yeah, but you love it.”

[fluffywings13]

Red Wings, Cotton Ball, And Purple Kitty

“It’s okay.”

Six year old Izuku whispers softly as he waves his hands placatingly, he’d only come to play at the park, daddy said he had to be home by four, he’d been swinging on the swing set when the other boy had come running passed, tripping over his own feet, they made eye contact for a brief moment, and he’s never seen as much terror in someone’s eyes in his short six years on this earth then in that brief moment when their eyes met. The snowball followed after the other boy, jumping off the swing when the purple haired kid scrambled to his feet and continued running, looking the other way to see if anyone was chasing him, he spotted two officers looking around the park, sensing danger, he chased after him, something wasn’t right, Izuku may only be six years old, but he liked to think he was a great judge of character, and something about this picture was wrong.

So he made chase.

Which brings them here, in a dark shadowed alley, fifteen minutes after the time he was supposed to be home, with a new friend (he didn’t know his name but Izuku was under the impression that everyone was a friend until proven otherwise) who looked like he could use one of daddy’s famous legendary papa bird hugs, like, a thousand of them, just a giant never ending famous legendary papa bird hug. The other boy looks terrible, dirty, a leather face guard (muzzle, Izuku, it’s a muzzle) curled around his face, blood seeping out from underneath, and pale under the smudge of all the dirty.

“It’s okay. My names Takami Izuku.” The white haired six year old waves his hands soothingly. “I’m here to help you.” The other boy whimpers softly. “Those people are looking for you, right?” The purple haired boy whimpers again, this time there’s a hint of fear within, and he nods slightly. “Are they bad people, are they trying to hurt you?” Izuku thinks it’s a stupid question as soon as he asks it but there’s no taking it back at this point. “My daddy can help you.” The other boy shakes his head and he nods. “Uhuh, my daddy’s a hero, you know, daddy can help you and he can protect you and he can make sure no one hurts you ever again.” The other boy shakes his head again. “Yea he can, daddy can make you all better again, he won’t let anything bad happen to you ever again.” Izuku holds his hand out. “But we have to go, they were coming this way when I ran over here, if we don’t leave now, they might find us.”

The purple haired boy seems against it, but at the same time, he seems to want to get away before he’s found by those other people, and hesitantly reaches out to take his hand, letting him pull him to his feet. “Come on, we should get back to my place before my daddy comes looking, or worse, sends out a search party.” He rolls his eyes. “Daddy’s an overprotective worry wart.”

He pulls the other boy down the length of the alley, peeking out around the edge, he spies the two officers who’d been chasing after his new friend searching over by the jungle gym, and he turns the other way. “This way, come on.” The purple haired boy whimpers softly when he’s tugged forward, running with him, not that he had much of a choice, what with his grip on his hand.

They weave between people, some passersby gripe at them when they cut them off, but they pay them no mind as they run down the sidewalk, as far away from the park and the two officers as they can get. They run through the doors that open for them in a fancy looking apartment building, right passed the security guard who calls out his greeting, and straight for the elevators.

Pushing the button, they wait on baited breath, not knowing if they had been spotted and followed or not, Izuku turns as the elevator door opens, the other boy cries out in terror when the doors to the apartment building open, the two officers chasing after him to the park running inside.

Izuku turns, eyes widening, and yanks his new friend into the elevator, pushing the floor button frantically, willing the doors to close faster. They slowly close just as the officers reach them, shutting in their faces, his new friend tugs on his hand desperately, and he nods, reaching under the collar of his shirt, he pulls out the leather chain he’s wearing, and the other boy watches in wonder as he snaps a red feather attached to the leather chain.

They ride in the elevator for a couple minutes, the other boy clutching his hand fearfully, their elevator opens just minutes before the other elevator opens, and Izuku dashes forward, yanking his new friend along with him, the purple haired boy’s screams are muffled behind his muzzle.

The six year old cotton ball crashes into the double doors of the penthouse suite. “Takami Izuku, give me one reason why I shouldn—What’s going on here?”

The purple haired boy only has a fraction of a moment to stare in awe at Hawks as he’s tugged around to hide behind the man’s legs, he clutches tightly at his new friend’s hand (he knows nothing about him but anyone who would try and help him get away was a friend to him) and curls the fingers of his other hand in the back of the hero’s sweat pants, ducking back slightly when the two officers appear in the doorway, panting and bending over on themselves.

“What’s going on?” He stiffens when a hand rests on his head lightly. “Why are you chasing a six year old.”

“He’s….He’s a runaway.” The taller officer glares at him. “More trouble then he’s worth, always running away from his families, he should be glad that anyone’s willing to take a villain like him.”

Hawks makes a noise he can’t necessarily place a name to. “Tell me, how can a six year old be a villain, that’s a hefty accusation to place on a child.”

“His quirk.” The rounder officer finally catches his breath. “Brainwashing. We have hard enough time finding families willing to take him with his villainous quirk, in my opinion—”

“I don’t believe I asked you for your opinion, officer, and I doubt, given your discriminatory mindset, it’s not one children should hear, so I’d appreciate it if you kept it to yourself.” Hawks’ tone grows firmer. “I’ll take care of things from here, you’re dismissed from his case.”

“Well, sir—”

“Let me reiterate, I will take over his case from here, you’re dismissed, get out of my home.” The two officers swallow at the threatening edge that comes over the hero’s tone and nod meekly, turning tail, pulling the doors closed behind them, the purple haired boy looks up when the hand on his head moves, fingers scratching his scalp lightly, purple eyes meeting gold for the first time. “Hey, lil bird, I know it’s a little late, but is it okay if I touch you?” He nods. “Is it okay if I pick you up?” He nods again, raising his arms when hands curl around his middle and lift him up off his feet, settling him on the hero’s hip as he turns. “Let’s clean you up and get you taken care of, chickadee, my names Keigo, you can call me Keigo.” The man turns to look down at his new white haired friend. “I’ll save a warming from your little behind this time, kiddo, since you were helping a friend.”

Izuku blushes but nods, unconsciously reaching back to rub his bottom at the mere mention, tooshie warmings are not fun.

The other boy looks around as he’s carried back into a large bedroom, through the room, to a large bathroom, and set down to rest on the bathroom counter. Keigo tugs on his ear lightly for his attention and purple eyes lift to meet gold for the second time. “I’m going to remove your muzzle, okay, can I do that for you?” He nods slightly, watching as the hero reaches behind his head for the straps, undoing the latches, he pulls the straps free, and pulls the leather muzzle away, and sighs softly. “Oh, you poor little nestling.”

Keigo pokes the edge of his lips, where the knot for the stitching was, someone had sewed the boy’s mouth closed, sewn his lips together, sloppily too, it makes the hero cringe internally at how agonizing it must have been for the poor hatchling while they were doing it. “Oh, you poor little nestling, I’m so sorry, I’m never gonna let this happen to you again.” He watches the man open a drawer next to him and pull out a small pair of scissors. “Is it okay of I snip the stitches, we can’t leave you like that, we need to get it cleaned up before infection sets in.” He eyes the scissors fearfully but nods. “Thanks, little guy, I’ll try to be as quick and painless as possible, okay?” He nods again, going cross eyed as he watches the hero slowly start snipping the stitches, one after another, until they’re all cut. “I’m going to pull the thread out now, this might be a bit uncomfortable, but it’ll only be a couple seconds, a minute at the most.”

The purple haired boy nods again, Izuku takes his hand comfortingly, and he squeezes fearfully as the hero slowly starts pulling the threading out, whining at the irritation, fresh blood drips down his face as the scabs are broken. “There we go, all out,” the hero reaches up to the cabinet beside him for more supplies. “I’m gonna clean this mess up, it might sting a little, but it’ll only be for a few minutes.” He nods, watching the man soak a few cotton balls in disinfectant, and whines when he dabs at the holes and torn skin. “I can’t really bandage you up, it being your lips and all, but we can make sure you’re on a liquid diet until they start healing.” Keigo tosses the cotton balls in the trashcan next to them. “What’s your name, little one?”

He resists the urge to touch his lips. “H—Hitoshi….Shinsou Hitoshi.” He smacks his lips slightly. “You can c—call me Hitoshi. N—Not Shinsou…Please.”

“Okay, Hitoshi, that’s okay, I’ll call you Hitoshi if that’s what you prefer.” The winged hero looks him over and Hitoshi curls up slightly at the attention. “You need a bath, little birdie, you’re filthy.” He yelps when he’s scooped back up, resting on the hero’s arm as he turns, leaning over to turn on the water for the bathtub, closing the drain to keep it from draining. “How about some bubbles, you look like you need a nice bubble bath.” Hitoshi smiles slightly, he’s never had a bubble bath before, but he’s seen his foster siblings get them, and they look like they’re fun, he smiles as the hero pours in a bit of bath bubble solution and bubbles begin to form on the water.

They turn and the white haired six year old perks up. “Izu, will you go get Hitoshi a pair of your underpants and pajamas, he’s gonna stay the night here with us.”

“Okay, daddy!” Izuku turns and darts away. “Be right back, Hito!”

“How about some toys?”

Hitoshi turns to look at the hero in awe. “Toys too?”

Keigo turns to grin at him. “Can’t have a bubble bath without toys.”

“Cool!” The purple haired six year old smiles. “I never got to do this before.”

“You’ve never—” The hero stares at him in horror and he can’t stop himself from giggling softly. “You’re gonna have a bubble bath everyday for a straight week, you hear me, the whole week.” Hitoshi giggles softly as the man shakes his head and tosses a basketful of toys into the bubbly water. “Never had—that’s so sad.” He smiles when he’s set down on his feet. “Okay, you get undressed and climb in, I’m gonna go see what’s taking Izu so long to get you a pair of underpants and pajamas, honestly, it’s not like I asked him to make them.” Keigo smiles when the six year old giggles again and rubs his head. “I’ll be right back.”

…

Izuku has to go to school the next day, Keigo says he’s not going, just in case anyone tries to come for them, which leaves Hitoshi home alone with the hero for the first time in his entire life, the first time being in a hero’s home for the first time in his life, there’s a lot of firsts here for him.

Any fear that the hero was going to turn out to actually be a giant tightwad and a stickler for the rules is dashed when they get to the hero’s office, the man tosses his coat onto his desk, and he shrieks when he’s scooped up from behind. “Let’s have some fun. All work and no play makes for a very bored Hawks.”

“W—What?” Hitoshi shrieks when the hero falls back on the couch in his office and lays him down on his lap. “K—Keigo?”

“This is the second thing me and Izu did when I first brought him home.”

The purple haired six year old stares up at him. “What was the first?”

Keigo smiles down at him. “Bubble bath, you and him aren’t much different, you know, both came from unsavory circumstances. That’s what made this so important.” The little boy can’t help but giggle when his shirt’s pushed up slightly. “Let’s see what kinda tummy you have.” Hitoshi giggles as his legs are guided back around the hero’s sides and he starts poking around his belly. “Nice, nice, just like I like my little fledgling tummies.” He shrieks and giggles harder. “Chubby and tickly.”

Hitoshi squeals with laughter, those wiggling fingers travel around, they don’t stay in one place, they wiggle in a big circle around his belly, then they wiggle over to the left side, and slowly wiggle their way over to the right, and he cackles brightly, kicking his feet behind the hero. “Aaahhaahahhahahahahahahaaa Keheheheheheheeeiiiii nohohohohohoo! Nohohohot thehehehehehee beeheheheheheheelly! Eeieiaieaaiaaahahhahahahahahahahaha aaahhahahahahahahahahaa Keeheheheheheheheei Keheheheheheheheei! Mehehehehehehheeercy! Plehehehehehehease!”

“Let me think about it.” He pulls his hands away, letting the boy giggle wildly, and wiggles his fingers threateningly above his belly. “Nope, I’m not feeling merciful today.” He claws his fingers in, and the boy squeals, kicking his feet again. “If you’ve never had a bubble bath before I’m betting you’ve never had any tickles before either, and chubby little nestling tummies need to be tickled, any papa bird with half a brain cell would tell you that.”

“Nohohohoho! Nohhoohohot thahahahhaat! Nohohoot thehehehe clahahahhaws! Nohohot thohohose! Eeieieiaiaiahaaahahahahhahahaa Keheheheheeiiii eieiieaaaiaahhahahahhhaahahaahha! Nohohohot thehehehe clahahahhaws! Ahahahahahahehheaheeeeeieiieieaiaiaahaahaahahahhahaha!”

“Oh, yes, the claws.” Keigo chuckles softly, the boy absolutely overcome with laughter, cackling loud and freely, vibrating his fingers and wiggling them in deep. “The claws want a piece of you.”

“Aahahahahahahhahahahaa aeaeeeieieiieieaiaiaaahahhahahahahahahahaa thohohohose ahahahahare thehehehe wohohohorst! Kehehehehheeiii! Thehehehheey tihihihickle! Thehehehhe clahahahahahhaaws tihihihihicckle!”

“They do, huh?” He decides to have some semblance of mercy on the nestling, pulling back his claws, or, in this specific instance, talons, and pokes around the six year old’s chubby tummy, smiling at his wild giggles and squirming. “This tummy has six years of missing tickles to make up for, and what’d you know, I’m free for the first half of my shift to give this tummy the tickles it missed out on.”

Hitoshi bats at the hero’s fingers, shrieking with every poke, kicking at the back of the couch. “Kehehehehei! Kehehehehehei! Nohohohoho pohohohoking! Nohohoho pohohohooking!”

“No poking?” He holds his hands above the purple haired boy’s tummy. “How about claws?”

“No! Nohohoho! Kehehehei!” The purple haired six year old reaches for the hero’s hands. “Nohohot theehehe clahahahaws!”

The hero smiles when he dips his hands and the boy squeals. “Not the what?”

“Claws! Clahahahaws!” Hitoshi tries to catch the hero’s hands and squeals every time his hands dip. “Clahahahaws!”

Keigo hums playfully. “Why not?”

The six year old curls his fingers around the hero’s wrists in an attempt to keep his hands away, well, more so those dreaded claws, but he digresses. “Tihihihickles! Tickles! Tihihihickles!”

“Claw tickles?” Unphased by the little hands latched onto his wrists, the hero lowers his hands, clawing his fingers in the boy’s belly. “Okay, I can do that.” The six year old squeals brightly kicking his feet and batting at the hero’s hands. “Someone’s got a ticklish chubby little tummy.”

Hitoshi squeals with laughter and shakes his head. “Nohohohot! Dohohoho nohohohot!”

“Do not?” The hero returns to poking around the six year old’s chubby tummy, wiggling his index fingers next to his belly button, and the young boy shrieks with laughter, bating at his fingers. “You don’t call this a ticklish tummy?”

Hitoshi shakes his head and shrieks, catching the hero’s fingers and clutching on tight, giggling in relief. “Nohoho!”

“Aw, that’s cute.” Keigo coos down at him. “You think I need my fingers to tickle this little tummy.” The six year old yelps between giggles when the man curls his fingers around his wrists and pulls his hands back, squealing when a dozen feathers, at least, come down to flutter over his tummy. “I have a number of uses for my feathers and one of them is torturing chubby little fledgling tummies.”

…

“Kei,” the hero looks down to the right, where the purple haired boy is holding his hand, and smiles down at him in acknowledgement. “What are we doing here?”

Here?

An animal shelter.

“We’re gonna get a kitten.”

Hitoshi’s eyes widen comically and he bounces, turning to face him completely. “Really! Really, Kei! Are we really!”

Keigo chuckles softly, swinging their arms lightly. “Really, you have to find the perfect kitten, okay, this is your mission.”

The purple haired six year old nods quickly. “Okay! I can do it!”

He looks over to the left when Izuku tugs on his other hand. “Daddy can I pick a kitten too?”

Keigo squeezes his white haired son’s hand (he’s got a purple haired son but the little guy doesn’t know it yet as the paperwork hasn’t been finalized just yet). “You sure can.”

“Yay!”

…

“Kei?”

Keigo looks up from his phone at the boy’s call and grins, patting the spot next to him on the couch, trying to keep from talking too loud lest they interrupt Izuku’s movie. Hitoshi darts forward, climbing up to sit with the hero on the couch. Snuggling down under his arm, into his side, and smiles when Cheeto jumps up to curl up on his lap.

The hero squeezes him close. “Yea, hatchling?”

“Kei,” Hitoshi pets Cheeto’s head gently. “What were those papers you got that made you smile so big?”

“Well, little nestling,” he rubs the purple haired boy’s belly. “Those were adoption papers.”

“But, who—” The six year old’s eyes widen when the hero grins at him. “Me?”

“Congrats, baby bird.” Hitoshi smiles when the man kisses the side of his head. “You’re now officially Takami Hitoshi.”

“So…That means…..That means…” Keigo waits for the boy to find his words. “You’re my daddy now?”

“Sure does, little guy.” The hero nods. “That means I’m your daddy and your my son. We’re a family, you, me, and Izu.”

“And Cheeto and Dorito!”

He chuckles and nods. “Right, and Cheeto and Dorito.”

[lilylilym]

Jeankasa also makes sense so far as we want to think about it

Anticipating the possible Jeankasa ending leaks, I wrote a quick Drabble that imagines how Jean and Mikasa feels about themselves and their relationships in regards to Eren’s disappearance during the time skip.

I really appreciate the subtlety of relationship hints in AOT, just like Levihan, I think Isayama really doesn’t dwell much into the affective lives of people in this world, but still establishes enough for readers to extrapolate. I will probably make another post about what I think is Jeankasa relationship as canonically intended to be interpreted, but for now I’ll just say this. A lot of people seem to be upset at the possibility of Jeankasa or think that it’s cheap because he wasn’t Mikasa’s first choice or that she has never been into him. I’m not arguing with that, and not trying to force people into thinking that there are some kinds of interpretation that dominate others. But again, as someone who has lived quite a while, have seen adult relationships and how people make decisions regarding marriage, building families, and whatnot, I think the fact that Jean was still able to imagine his life with Mikasa all the way into the Marley act, like this moment

as well as this

tells me that Jean has a legit friendship and mutually respectful relationship with Mikasa. This is a relationship in which they both recognize and respect the fact that he’s into her and she’s into Eren, and that they do not feel entitled to change the other’s investment. I don’t know about other folks, but I have been in a couple relationships like that, where we were not quite dating but still have a romantic friendship and each respects the other person for the affection that they have for another person. I think that’s the kind of relationship that Jeankasa have. Mikasa knows that Jean is into but not actively pursuing her nor trying to convince her to drop Eren for him, and Jean is dignified enough to not apologize for his feelings for Mikasa but also not creepily trying to make Mikasa his. This type of one-sided romance/courtship is not surprisingly very popular in Asia, Japan in particular, for how it honors the people who are involved. I think Mikasa’ love for Eren is also complicated by the debt she feels toward him, but all in all, I think what is similar between Jeankasa is the fact that they both understand that the best they could do is to be there for the other person and ask nothing in return. 

That’s what makes the interaction above interesting; Jean’s insistence on “no, tell me, tell me how he hurts her” signifies that he feels that it’s appropriate to do so right in front of Mikasa. If Mikasa feels burdened by Jean’s attention, his action would have been deeply creepy because you don’t get to stick your nose into your crush’s love affair/business. But that this is OK for him to discuss means that he has always been there as a good friend with no ulterior motive, and Mikasa probably has discussed with him her feelings of Eren. If a woman like Mikasa feels bothered or feels creeped out by Jean, trust and believe, she would draw a line really quick, and Jean wouldn’t even be able to mention Eren’s name around her. So that, for me, is a narrative cue of how Jeankasa definitely has mutually respectful exchanges about their boundaries and relationship regarding the crushes, like “how would you like me to act around you?” and “I know you have a crush on me but sorry I don't” and “it’s okay, I know you don’t but I still care about you but I won’t make you uncomfortable” that type of thing. 

Anywho, for whoever is interested in my little drabble about Jeankasa and their contemplations on love and future, keep reading.

Dreams of Faraways

by lilylilym. Paring: Jeankasa, Eremika. Rating G.

One day, while standing guard at the Forest of Giant Trees, Jean asks her, “What are you gonna do if we can’t find him again?” Mikasa glares back at him without saying a word. He wouldn’t divert his eyes, and she knows he isn’t one to budge. After all these years, Jean is no longer the boy who admires her in secret. Both of them know, quite literally, that Jean would die for her. But they both know that in the uncertain time that is coming, they need to be able to do that — to die for one another, regardless of who they are, so long as they are comrades.

“We will. He is not the kind who disappears without having a plan.” Mikasa softens her gaze and turns away.

“Did he tell you his plan?” Jean asks. “I would be very worried if he doesn’t tell you or Armin anything and just disappears like that.”

Mikasa looks down from the branch where she sits. Eren never quite tells her everything. The boy keeps so much secret within him. She sees it; she could feel it sometimes when his attention just fades away from this world and enters one of his own. It has always been like that, since they were kids. Eren doesn’t look at you, his eyes go pass your shoulders, through you, into the faraway that he tells you exists but you can’t quite imagine.

“Mikasa, why do you love Eren?” Jean burrows his eyebrows and decides to ask. In front of Jean, Mikasa doesn’t pull her usual act. She knows that he knows. As cold as her how she’d like to be perceived, it is freeing to have your feelings seen and acknowledged, even to a person it shouldn’t be.

“Jean, why do you love, no, like me?” Mikasa answers as she slowly looks at Jean. Jean looks up while letting out a soft sigh.

“Do you really want to hear that, of do you just want to get out of answering my question?”

“I will tell you once you tell me.” Mikasa quietly smiles. Jean switches his standing leg; his back leans against the big tree.

“I’m a simple man, Mikasa. Superficial, even.” He swipes his nose with the back of his hand, feeling a little flushed. “The first time I saw you, I was amazed by how pretty you look.” Mikasa lets out a soft giggle. Jean feels less tensed as he notices her smiling. “From where I come from, that’s enough. People find each other pretty, pleasant. My mother was seventeen when she met my dad. He courted her for two years before she said yes. And then they have me.”

“I am pretty, huh?” Mikasa repeats to herself. She had wondered this before, about how and why people come to love each other. How they find each other, and belong. She had lived her entire childhood in isolation, on the mountain where the likes of her parents live. They both were chased away from everyone else because of a surname. Even themselves didn’t quite know why; perhaps they did, but were trying to protect her from the truth. Did they find each other only because they’re all there is in that mountain? Sometimes, if she hasn’t exhausted herself during the day, when night falls, she wouldn’t be able to rest. She would lay awake all night, feeling the inside bursting with things she wouldn’t tell anyone. Even Eren. She misses her parents so much, yet they seem like a dream from another life. If they lived, how would her life change? Would she have learned more about them? What kind of memory would she inherit? Would she have married by the time she is eighteen like her mother? Would she hunt like her dad? Would they even let her enroll in the Scout?

“See,” Jean, upon watching her from his branch, scoffs, “You totally didn’t want to answer.”

“You didn’t say the whole truth either.” Mikasa looks up. “You are not simple, or superficial. Maybe you were back then, but you are a good comrade and a good guy. You saved my life.” 

“Is that how you see people, Mikasa?” Jean scratches his head. “Good or bad depending on whether or not they save someone’s life? Is that why you and Eren are such suicidal blockheads?”

Mikasa doesn’t answer. Jean continues, “See, this is why I don’t even know if I admire, pity, or like you. Because I, too, want to be able to protect you. But you are so strong, Mikasa, so powerful and efficient, and your loyalty to Eren is so fierce, sometimes I…”

He stops to glance at Mikasa, who is attentively looking at him with an ambiguous look.

“Sometimes I feel unworthy of your presence and that suicidal blockhead’s ambition to something so big that I can’t fathom. It fucks with my head.”

“Why?” Mikasa looks confused as she asks.

“Because,” Jean bursts out in disbelief, “some of us are just human, Mikasa. We just want to live a good life, carve out some space in this nightmare to spend time peacefully with our loved ones, eat good food, drink good drinks. We have seen more than anyone inside the wall could ever ask for, and yet here we are, keep fast forwarding into something we don’t know.” Realizing how harsh he sounds, Jean turns away, avoiding Mikasa’s unflinching gaze. 

“Do you ever wish that you remain ignorant of all things, Jean?” Mikasa softly speaks. “I do.” Jean looks at her, anticipating. She continues to look straight into his eyes, “There is a world, many worlds in which all of us have never met one another. You would be elsewhere, eating your mother’s homemade food, and I tend to my family’s garden up in the mountain. Armin probably is reading his book. Eren wouldn’t join the Scout because his mother is still alive, but he will try his damnedest to. I would never stick to him the way I do now, Jean, if that’s the case.” 

Jean has never heard Mikasa says this much. He understands to the bone what Mikasa is implying. In the world they live in, the fact that they are brought together, a bunch of kids fighting an ancient battle, it is not something that any of their childish plans could have changed. It was not up to them, since the very beginning, to decide a life for themselves, if the wall would still have been kicked out and humanity’s threatened by outside forces.

“I wouldn’t have been here without Eren. I would still be alive, maybe, but violated, abused, wishing I was dead.” Mikasa continues, her eyes blanking. “I don’t know how much else I owe him, and how far do I go to return the debt, but…” She shakes her head lightly; from Jean’s eyes, he saw her black hair glistening in the sun. “Sometimes I feel unworthy of him too.”

“Mikasa…” Jean gasps. From where he stands, Mikasa looks so vulnerable. Her head tilts down, her shoulders tremble, both hands pressed against the branch where she sits. Jean wonders if she’s shedding tears too, but he’s too afraid to ask. He can feel the sorrow in her voice, and desperately wishes that his urge to embrace Mikasa would be of any comfort to her. But here he is, incapable again, can’t do anything but witnessing the girl he likes going through a heartache. A part of him feels needed, but mostly just sorrowful. He is not big enough to change any of this — not her past, not their life, nor the constant fear of attack from an enemy elsewhere like the last time the Wall fell on them. They have come to know that they don’t know anything, and for that they could never rest again. 

“I would get you flowers though.” Jean dazedly speaks. “When the war is no longer and we get our hero salary package and buy a house, I’mma grow so much flowers in our garden. If you grows your hair out again, I will braid it every morning. I will make you eggs for breakfast, from our own farm. You smile so brightly at me, and I would be the luckiest guy in the world. This is what I think to myself all the time, Mikasa, when I feel like dying.” He laughs quietly, like feeling ashamed. “You saved me too, many times, just by existing. So tell me, what beyond dying for Eren do you think of when you think of him? Once all of this is over, what are you gonna do with him?”

Mikasa looks up in disbelief. Jean’s eyes pierce hers, without a hint of reluctance.

“C’mon, Mikasa. You said you love the lad. Surely you must think to yourself some happy scenarios. That’s what we all do.”

Mikasa looks past Jean, into the green forest behind him, where sunlight dances through the tingling leaves. She imagines a sky, blue as clear water. That day, her feet feels the finest of earth sticking inside her toes; sandy beach pulled by the foamy waves. The water falls and rises, over and over again. She had stood there and looked to see if they ever rest. The waves, the ocean, the sand, they seem to have been there before she was born and will still stand after all of them are gone. These organic movements that she never knew existed inside the wall. She never feels so small, so insignificant, and yet so important, for being able to witness things that be. That day, after Eren drags his arm and pointing toward the other side of the sea, Mikasa has pulled him down into and made him taste the salty water. She saw Jean doing it and thought it would be funny. Eren absolutely hated the taste, but for one second, his eyes opened up so brightly. Those green eyes that she adores so much. She loved it when he found things that excite him; it makes standing next to him less unbearable. He had turned around and sought revenge by trying to make her drink the water too. But she was much stronger, and easily disarmed him. Jean has laughed the loudest when Eren was humbly reminded of her strength. Connie and Sasha and their shocked faces made her feel so superior. In the corner of her eyes, Levi and Hanji both snickered at the turn of the event. In those moments, her gaze briefly left Eren and everything else was equally bright. As Armin pulls Eren up from the shallow water, Eren looks at Mikasa attentively, and said with a smile: “I’ll get you next time.”

“We travel the world together.” She says, half-dreaming. “Armin tells us of hot air balloon, so we get on there. Eren holds my hand, and I rest on his chest, and we fly over many, many walls, looking at the people behind us and their busy little lives. I see children running across hills, farmers tending to their crops. I see herds of cows and sheep in open grass. Rivers wrapping around town. Colorful shades of flower fields under our feet. Some people see us and wave. Eren put his arm around my shoulders as he waves back. He kisses the side of my forehead. It feels really nice.”

Jean looks at Mikasa, now fully meeting his gaze. Her eyes seep with tears, as she keeps going.

“We will make friends in strange towns. Eat ice-cream and other sweet pretty things. Drink with people in their homes. Visit water holes where it’s always steamy and hot. See high mountains with water falling down. We will go as far as we can, see as much as we want. We will have our lives to ourselves.”

Mikasa slowly gains consciousness. She blushes, amazed that she just says all of this out loud. Jean nods at her, and she nods back.

As time seems to stand still between them, each following their own deep thought, Connie yells out to them from one of the tents on the ground.

“Hey, you guys, change shift. Come down and eat some food.”

“On it.” Jean yells back. He waves at Connie. Mikasa raises her hand to acknowledge that she hears him. Jean jumps from his branch, landing near where Mikasa sits, and offers his hand. She takes it, and stands up. As they’re about to use the ODGM gear to get down, Jean suddenly says:

“Promise me, Mikasa.” 

“Hm?”

“That you’d let at least one of our wishes come true.”

Without waiting for Mikasa’s answer, Jean flies down. From behind, Mikasa looks a bit surprised. She exhales, watching Jean joining the group. All the friendly faces would look up, their hands waving at her to come join them. She turns around and looks at the faraway sky one more time, then fling down as her comrades who let out another collective “ohhhhh” at her incredible speed.

“See you again, Eren.” She thinks to herself as she walks toward her friends.

End.

[joonapeach]

skylines (nj)

college!au, where namjoon openly chases you and you love running from those advances. that is, until everyone in your architecture department finds out you’re the daughter of the man behind the biggest architecture firm in the country. 

alternatively... namjoon is a simp for you until he’s suddenly not 

author’s note: sometimes i just wanna write for the fun of it and not take life so seriously so this is what i churned out. 8.8k words of some minor pining and mini character development for our oc because tbh, being a student sucks and you get so caught up in your insecurity sometimes

also reposted on ao3

[this is fluff and light-hearted, with a bit of a rivalry trope, 8.8k words]

You love skylines.

From when you were six years old with short legs, you remember craning your neck up high to see each building that surrounded you. At that age, the world seemed big and you seemed small but you loved it. You loved seeing the world build and function around you. 

From then on outwards began your decades-long relationship with your first love - buildings. 

Well, you called it buildings and your father called it architecture. You were the daughter of his dreams, his proclaimed legacy. What luck I have, he would say, that I have a daughter who will grow up to work beside me.

Growing up, those comments were your food for the day. You would eat up his encouragements and cheers throughout high school, serving him back your high grades on a gold platter.

This is the way you’ve worked through your past nineteen years. It’s a little basic, maybe, but you’ve operated on your father’s ambition for you. 

But like all good things, even that seemed to come to an end. Since entering university and embarking on your path as an architecture major, the once comforting encouragement has slowly changed to a choking chain around you.

You’ve learnt a lot in two semesters at university. You’ve learnt how to finish assignments the night before, how to memorize historical names and dates minutes before an exam, you’ve learnt how fun it can be to be with your friends.

But most of all, you’ve learnt that… you’re not special. 

You’re surrounded by overachievers, all like you, all perhaps better than you in some way. You’re the daughter of the man behind HN Architects, but some of your classmates look like they’re on their way to the top of the chain.

You always thought you deserved your seat, your privilege, because you’d worked for it. These days, it doesn’t seem much like that. And you worry that your father is thinking the very same thing.

Let’s finish this assignment, you sigh, there’s not much left. Let’s do it, you give yourself a pep talk, fighting back a yawn at the practically empty library before dawn.

Books crash down on your table, right beside you. You shake, being pulled so abruptly out of your reverie. Although maybe you should be thankful, for the sleep that was threatening your productivity seems to have run away from the sound. 

“Excuse me,” you scoff loudly, making your presence known to the disturbance.

From above the tower of books on the desk, peeks out a familiar dimpled smile. His eyes glint with mischief and despite the early hours of the day, his face reads no exhaustion.

“You’re excused.” 

You groan. “There’s an entire empty library, you can only sit here?”

“Studying is more fun with company,” he retorts with a grin.

“It’s studying. It’s not meant to be fun,” you reply, hostile. “Didn’t I tell you to stop showing up in front of me with no purpose?’

He smiles again, confidently with his eyes unmoving from you. It’s almost unnerving, how much you see Namjoon smile in front of you. Architecture students are not meant to be this happy. They aren’t meant to carry a warm smile everywhere they go, looking at people with such attentive intensity.

“I haven’t shown up without a purpose though,” he says. “I came to ask for help with the assignment.” 

This time, you smile. But your smile is one of disbelief and amusement.

“Yes, that’s very believable, Namjoon,” you cock a brow. “You’re the one finishing assignments a week early and screwing up the curve for everyone but I’m sure I could help you with whatever you need.”

He grins, taking a seat next to you. “Hey, sometimes even I need help,” he replies but then pauses. “Ah, you’re right. I should’ve gone with coming to offer you help. That’s a lot more believable.”

“I don’t need your help,” you argue. “Stop showing up in front of me. And stop subtly flexing in front of me. It’s nauseating.”

He throws his head back and laughs. He looks so happy that it almost stirs a scary, fluttering feeling in your stomach. “You should be the last person to feel jealous of me, _____.”

You glare at him. “Yeah, because I’m the one who threatens your ranking?”

He shakes his head. “No, because I would help you with everything if you just asked.”

You still, for a moment. His words lull over in your head and they feel a bit weird. Your major is competitive and cut-throat, even if it doesn’t appear it. To you, Namjoon is your biggest rival, your biggest worry because you can never match up to him.

“Well, I’m not asking you for a thing. Is there really nothing you stress over?”

“No, there is. I just don’t cry over my textbook the nights before exams.”

“That was one time,” you mumble, infuriated. “And I had every right to be crying that night. It was the hardest exam that term and I have big shoes to fill. I can’t afford to be bothering people, like you,” you say with an intentional offense.

He takes none. “Big shoes? Who’s putting expectations on you?”

“Just some family. Stop being nosy,” you say swiftly. “And you didn’t even tell me. What do you stress over?”

He pauses, not giving a response for a moment. You wonder if it’s because there’s really nothing he stresses over. You wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case. While you and your friends have all cracked under the pressure of your degree, you especially with the added burden of your father… Namjoon has not once shown signs of struggle. He walks through life with that smile every day.

“Finding work,” he says after a while.

“Huh?”

He meets your eyes. “You asked me what I worry about. I worry about finding work when I graduate,” he says sincerely.

You bite back a rude laugh. “Please, Namjoon. Get real,” you roll your eyes. “You really think you can worry about that? You were the top of our class all last year.”

You don’t do a good job of hiding your envy, but it’s beyond you to care at this point. You’ve become this person now. The one who seeks everything out of their number on the paper.

“But I don’t have any connections. I come from a village, practically, as you like to call it,” he says with a chuckle. It stings you a little, he’s referring to the time you and your friends had put him down out of jealousy with those words. But he doesn’t say it like it bothers him. He says it like it’s true. 

“So?” you say, looking away from him and back on your sheet. “You don’t always need connections.”

“Not always, but a lot of the time,” he shrugs.

“Any company who takes a look at your record and speaks to you for five minutes would want you, Namjoon,” you exhale, knowing your words are 100% true. You think about your father, about HN Architects. Namjoon’s the kind of guy who your father wouldn’t think twice about hiring. He’s the epitome of someone who could fill any shoes you gave him.

You scoff bitterly. “Wait a second. Why am I comforting you right now? You’re a success story in the making,” you snap and he laughs, even though you didn’t intend it to be a joke. “You should be comforting me, you idiot. I don’t even know if I’ll have Mr. Labadee’s assignment done in time for submission!”

He puts his hands up. “Okay, okay, don’t worry. Why do you think I’m here?” he looks away, still smiling as he takes the pencil from your hand and moves closer to the sheet.

“What?” you say, watching the way his eyebrows furrow and his eyes scan the paper. He’s losing himself in the sheet now, and it feels like watching a prodigy at work. You picture this is what it would feel like to watch Bill Gates code on a computer before he formally started his career or watching The Beatles pen a song before they made it big. 

“Hm?”

“Did you come here for me?” you ask and for a split second, you see his eyes shift. “Did Chae tell you I was here?”

He doesn’t respond, instead focusing on the assignment. “Your calculation is wrong here. Look,” he says, pointing at a section. As he explains your mistake, you smile satisfied. 

He doesn’t need to admit it. You two have gone through this very situation so many times now, that you both know it’s true. Namjoon always comes for you.

/

You have kept your background, your family, extremely private since joining university.

In high school, you made the mistake of letting people know that you were the daughter of HN Architects. It resulted in years of people smooching up to you, gossiping behind your back, mean assumptions, and just a general nightmare.

That nightmare would only multiply if your friends here found out about it. They were all architect majors, all in the same cut-throat degree, and you came from privilege. 

It scared you, knowing what could happen if they ever found out. You begged your family to make sure that nothing would tie you to them here, keeping your name different on the registrar, not publishing photos of you in the paper. You couldn’t risk all the friends and relationships you made. Even if they said things won’t change, you know they would. They always do.

“I need to sleep for 10 years,” you mumble, falling on your bed. 

“Fuck this, I wish I was you right now,” Chae cries from her side of the room. “I’ve got one more submission.”

“I woke up at 4 to finish it so you should be fine,” you laugh, looking at her. “And did you send Namjoon to me?”

Chae fights a smile on her face. You sigh, knowing you’ve opened Pandora's box.

“He came to me asking about you last night. I told him you were sleeping, but you’d be at the library at 5 working on the assignment,” she smirks cheekily. “Why, did he come?” she asks, not hiding the overly inquisitive edge to her question.

You say nothing, deciding to turn on your laptop.

“He did!” she screams and your eyes widen, telling her to be quiet. “Sorry! I just can’t help it. That’s so sweet,” she squeals.

“Stop sending him after me. You’re encouraging him.”

“You’re encouraging him!” she counters. “You let him help you with your assignment, didn’t you?”

“Yes, but-”

“And you showed up at his dorm last week for notes, didn’t you?”

“Okay, but-”

“And you told him off for helping Eun like four days ago, remember?”

“Chae,” you stop her, sternly. “Have you lost your mind? Don’t you realize what all those things have in common?”

“They all are evidence of the fact that you reciprocate his year-long courtship?”

You roll your eyes. “No, idiot. All these things are work-related. I can’t afford to be falling behind, and I need his help.”

“Okay, but you were jealous of Eun-”

“I was annoyed that he was helping other people score higher! The last thing I need right now is the lazy kids of the class becoming my competition too,” you complain, grumbling.

Chae stares you down. “_____, not everything is about your degree,” she says light-heartedly, but you know your statement bothers her. 

Exhaling, you shut your eyes. You hate it when conversations come to this. Sometimes, you wish you could just tell people which family you came from. Maybe it would do them good, to make them realize that yes, for you, everything is about your degree. Everything in your life revolves around being successful in this path. 

You were cynical but at least you were real. You admitted things the way they were, when competition was competition, you said it, and when you needed something, you asked for it. That made it okay, you told yourself.

And when it comes to Namjoon… it’s especially okay. He’s both the only reason you’re hanging on okay in your degree, and the reason you feel insecure. You wonder how it can be that someone like him exists.

“Anyways, are you really gonna leave talking about Joon there?” Chae scoffs. “He’s liked you since we started. You really won’t do anything about it?”

“Namjoon is nothing but another classmate that stresses me out, Chae. I don’t see him that way. I just like his work ethic.”

Chae laughs. “You’re so skewed, honestly. Are you busy tomorrow?”

“Why, are you planning on ratting me out to him again?”

“No, silly,” she laughs, although you both know it’s likely she’d do it again. “Let’s go to the Autumn fair tomorrow. After I submit.”

“The fair? You mean those three stalls they set up and call it an event?”

She frowns. “Don’t be mean. Hobi and the others have really been working hard on it this year. It’ll be nicer than the last, I promise.”

“As long as there are at least 10 booths this year.”

“You’re too mean for your own good, _____,” she says, tsk-ing. “One day, you’ll see what it’s like to be on the other end.”

/

Your overactive imagination always paints a skyline for you, where there’s an empty space. You can always picture different styles of buildings, standing together, making a city. 

It’s at times like those you realize that even if you wanted to give up, even if you tried to pursue something else, your heart will always come back to this. There is nothing more that belonged to you than this.

Even if it’d become difficult now, it didn’t matter. It became a source of worry more than an outlet of passion, but it’s still your calling. You can’t give up on something you love this much.

“Your toffee apple is dripping,” you hear his voice before you see him.

You want to turn and snap at him but the sticky toffee syrup that falls onto your fingers stops you.

“Ugh,” you groan, trying to fix it. Namjoon’s hand comes out with a tissue, quickly wiping your fingers without a word. Even after he’s done, the sticky feeling remains. “I should just throw this away.”

He laughs. “Let’s get candy corn.”

“No, thanks, I have to go find Chae and Yuna.”

Even though you step away, you hear his footsteps almost immediately behind you. 

“What’s the rush?” he says, catching up beside you. When you two walk together like this, his tall figure towers over in a way that makes you feel small. “Shouldn’t you offer to buy me candy corn? Did you forget how I helped you at 5 in the morning two days ago for Professor Labadee’s class?”

“You chose to wake up at that time, not me,” you say, keeping your eyes trained ahead. You weren’t expecting much from this fair, but the students had done well. Bright fairy lights decorate the lamp posts around you and along the long path, dozens of stalls are set up. It all feels a little bit like a movie.

“As long as you got it done,” he says under his breath. You dare to take a glimpse of him and inhale sharply. He’s wearing his smile, he always is, but the fairy lights reflect on his face, illuminating him like an angel. Everything about him feels good.

You look away almost immediately. “Stop following me Namjoon,” you say, stopping at a trinkets stall and smiling at the girl behind the table.

“But I like seeing you outside of architecture things,” he grins confidently.

You opt to ignore him, asking the price of something that catches your eye.

He cranes his neck to see what it is. “Want me to get it for you?”

You quickly counter. “Absolutely not,” you say, handing over your money notes. 

“You’re really buying an ornament of buildings?” he cocks a brow. “Don’t you want something like this instead?” he picks up a small snow globe, shaking it so the snow moves. The globe is miniscule to begin with, but you notice how in his hands, it looks almost tiny.

“What can I say? I like buildings.”

He smiles. “More than people, maybe.”

You sigh, ignoring his statement. Once you get the paper bag with your purchase inside, you keep walking ahead. You count to three before you hear his footsteps mimic yours.

“I’ll buy you candy corn, then you leave me alone,” you turn to say to him. “It’s not good that you’re always showing up where I am.”

He nods like an obedient puppy. Then he frowns and asks, “why is it not good?”

When you don’t respond, focusing on walking to the candy booth, he adds, “is it not good for you? Getting attached to me now?”

You don’t have to see his face to know he’s doing his goofy smile again. “It’s not good for you to keep going through these many rejections in a lifetime.”

He laughs, your words not bothering him the slightest. Standing in front of the candy booth, Jungkook and Jae, two of your architect classmates greet you.

“Hey Joon! Aw, you two hanging out again?” Jae smiles widely as if he’s in some big secret. You roll your eyes, not saying a word but pointing to the candy corn.

“_____ is treating me to candy corn. Isn’t she sweet?”

“I’m not treating you out of kindness, I’m doing it so you feel compensated for your efforts with my assignment.” 

Jungkook and Jae share an amused look that you almost miss. Shuffling through your pocket, you start counting the money to give. As you hand over the money to Jae, Jungkook places a brown paper bag in Namjoon’s hands.

“You two enjoy yourselves,” Jungkook beams brightly.

You scoff. “Is there really such a thing as enjoyment when I have him on my tail?” 

Without bidding them a proper goodbye, you walk away from the stall, leaving the three standing. Like clockwork, Namjoon is beside you again.

“Here,” he says, and suddenly the bag of candy corn is in your hands.

You raise a brow. “What are you giving this to me for? You were the one who wanted it.”

“You were eating a sad, overpriced toffee apple. This should be for you too.”

“Namjoon.” You give him a look, but he pays no mind. 

Without saying anything more, you two walk together in silence. It didn’t intend to be this way, but it feels nice now. You feel good that you were dragged out of a cycle of the bedroom to the classroom to the library for once.

Of course, it’s weird that amidst all this, Namjoon is the one beside you. Usually, when you see him, your mind wanders to the place that curses him for being everything you wish you were. But tonight, you’re laying off those thoughts.

Staring at the crowd around the speakers, you two pause for a bit. You see Chae and Yuna, along with your other coursemates all together.

Still beside you, Namjoon speaks out of the blue. “Why don’t you call me Joon?”

“What do you mean? I didn’t realize I was required to,” you shrug at the random question. “I don’t know you like that.”

“Everyone in our class calls me Joon. Even your group member who I met that one time is calling me Joon,” he argues. “You know me better than all those people. If anything, you should be the only one.”

“What are you on about? I don’t know you at all,” you throw a blank look his way. “And don’t argue that we spend a lot of time together. You follow me around and show up where I am. That’s not spending time together.”

“We’re spending time together right now, aren’t we?” 

“It’s a first. Don’t get used to it.”

He laughs as if your cold remarks are something affectionate. “I don’t think I really could get used to seeing you outside the library, _____. You’re there more than me and I’m always studying too.”  

You scoff cynically. “Are you flexing your rank again on me?”

“_____, if I cared so much about my rank, I wouldn’t be helping you with work all the time,” he laughs, amused.

“I don’t know. Maybe helping me is all part of your plan to keep beating me,” you say. “Isn’t this just a power move? You always showing up to help me.”

He laughs again before his stare stills on you. His eyes are bright and sparkling… or is it just the effect of the stupid fairy lights? You can hardly tell.

Despite yourself, it all makes your stomach drop. You hate it when Namjoon shows up unannounced in your life, but more than that, you hate it when he gives you this kind of look. Like he can’t look anywhere else but at you.

“More than a power move, it’s just a gesture for you.”

The fluttering feeling worsens and you blink. You choose to say nothing, instead staring ahead at the view. “That is the ugliest building I’ve ever seen.”

For a second, he smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes. Eventually, he humors you. “It’s not all that bad.”

“In my professional opinion as a future architect, that is the exact type of building I would want to bulldoze.”

“Well, in my professional opinion as another future architect, I’d say your standards are far too high.”

“I’m allowed to keep my standards high. It’s me,” you smile with a glint in your eye.

He laughs, staring at you softly. “That I can agree with.”

You taunt him playfully. “You’re so predictable. Does it not get tiring hanging off my every word?”

He shakes his head loyally. “Absolutely not. I think everything you say is valuable and worth hanging off.”

“How lame,” you joke although you two share a smile. It’s true, he is a little predictable. But it’s Namjoon’s predictability that at times, catches you off guard. It’s fun, knowing that he’s two steps behind you wherever you are.

A warm feeling stirs in your body and you wonder if it’s the autumn air. Glancing up at Namjoon, the same air ruffles his hair endearingly and you tear yourself away from staring at it.

“I’m only gonna say it once so if there’s any word of mine you wanna hang off, it’s this,” you say before shoving the bag of candy corn back into his hands. “Power move or not, thanks for helping me. I really need it sometimes and I appreciate it.”

The grin on his face widens. “One more time, I didn’t hang off it enough!”

“I told you, only one time.”

“But the music was so loud, I couldn’t hear you well.”

“Too bad.”

“Come on, _____, take pity on me.”

“Shut up and eat your candy corn.”

/

You find yourself quickly back in your routine after the Autumn fair, working on new assignments and projects till your worst nightmare comes to life unexpectedly.

“Please be on time, _____!” Chae repeats to you for the fifth time that morning.

“Chae, I’ll be there. I’ll literally run from the design building to the auditorium, okay?”

She clicks her tongue at you. “Stop acting like you’re doing me a favor by showing up. You should be excited.”

“I am. But… I mean, do we really need this kind of random assembly for our architecture department?” you groan, slipping your laptop into its case. “Can’t they just give us the extra time to work on our homework?”

“But there’ll be companies there!” she retorts, wide-eyed and excited. “Just imagine. This is like those movies, where they come and scout students and then bam, life is sorted.”

You nod, forcing a smile. You remember your privilege, knowing your worry has never once been finding work but living up to the work that was set out for you. But you could never explain that here. How could you cry about the burden that kept you so troubled when it was a burden any one of your friends would happily want?

“Okay. I’ll see you there,” you settle for a wave, walking out to leave. You rush with your bag on your back to your classroom, immersed in your lesson till the hour finishes up.

For the moments after class finishes, your mind is blank. You’re going over your homework in your head, packing your things and your eyes widen. The meeting. You almost forgot.

True to your words, you actually do end up running from the design building to the auditorium. Sprinting from your class to the auditorium proves to be a harder workout than you anticipated and your heart can’t stop racing.

Stepping inside the auditorium, you jump into the first empty seat you see at the entrance.

“Where is she?” you mumble under your breath. Your eyes shift around the room, looking for a familiar head of short black hair. Catching sight of Chae, you wave to her but she doesn’t notice you at all. Instead, she’s busy talking to a group of students all from your year.

Everyone’s sat together, cozy and comfortable in a conversation together. You can even see Namjoon in the row above Chae, chatting energetically. Your heart strangely pangs.

Sometimes, seeing everyone like this, everyone from your major and year together, made you feel more like an outsider than anything. At first, you’d chalked it up to be because of your obsession with studying and academics… but students better than you, students like Namjoon and Mina, all seemed to be doing fine. 

In the end, you realized it isn’t anything to do with that. You feel like an outsider because you are one. You’ve tried your hardest to blend in, but the fact remains that you feel alone in the problems you have. You’ve kept your identity as the daughter of HN Architects a secret, you’ve kept your family pressures a secret… Now you’re alone in the burden of your struggles.

Sometimes, you’ve thought about opening up. But the thought terrifies you even more.

If you felt so alone while keeping the truth of your ambitions a secret… there’d be no telling what kind of way your friends would treat you after finding out.

“We’re lucky enough to have… here’s a representative from Canvas Corp… looking for fresh talent… Yongchan Architecture…” you’re hardly paying attention to the speakers on stage till you finally hear, “and most fortunately, the chairman of HN Architects!”

Your head shoots up so fast that it almost flies off. No fucking way.

Your father is smiling on the stage, wearing a crisp suit and greeting the architecture department heads. Without realizing it, your body cowers back into your seat as you see his eyes scan the auditorium. He must be looking for you - his daughter.

His daughter that not a single soul in this room knew was you.

Your heart goes into panic mode before you try to calm yourself down. Relax, you mutter repeatedly to yourself although it’s less effective than you thought it’d be.

Your eyes dance between your father on stage and your group of friends with Chae sitting seats away from you. Neither of them have noticed you.

Instead, your classmates are all watching your father with starstruck eyes. They’re staring at your father like he’s their idol.

Well, objectively, maybe he could be. After all, you admire your father for the very same reason every architecture student does - your father is a legend. His company has one of the best reputations in the country, which feeds your pride, and he’s nothing short of a hard-working, inspiring man.

Namjoon, in particular, is staring at your father like he can’t believe his eyes. It’s a look you’ve never seen from him before. Like he’s both nervous and thinks he’s in a dream. It’s almost endearing.

“To celebrate having the chairman of HN Architects with us today, we’ll have him say a few words!” Mr. Lim, the head of the architecture department, announces enthusiastically into the mic. He turns to your father, “do you mind?”

“Not at all!” your father grins, taking the mic before starting. “It’s my pleasure to be here today! In fact, seeing all of you reminds me of my own days as an architecture student…”

He trails off into a long speech, excitedly. You’ve been witness to every single one of your father’s inspirational speeches since the day you were born so you fight back a yawn. On the contrary, your classmates look like they’re hanging onto every single word.

As your father paces across the stage, he inches towards your side. You blink in panic, bending down but before you know it, it’s too late. His eyes sparkle with joy.

You almost worry he’s gonna wave at you mid-speech. But he doesn’t, simply shooting an overly friendly smile your way. You sneak a glance at your classmates and they’re all giving you a strange look - one that most definitely reads what the heck is he smiling at you for?

Meeting Chae’s eyes in particular, you give an awkward smile and shrug. Soon enough, your father turns to the side and you finally think you can breathe.

“That’s why I’d like to encourage you all to live up to your potential! The world is changing around you as you know it and as future architects, you can be a part of that,” your father enthusiastically continues. His eyes are on you again. “And this is what I tell my beautiful daughter everyday! She loves skylines, my dear _____, and she’s going to be a wonderful architect too!”

My life is officially over.

A little dramatic but that exact thought crosses your mind as you duck into your seat. You think you hear the collective gasp around the auditorium or maybe your ears are playing tricks on you.

No, it’s probably as bad you think it is. Your father’s called you out by name and exposed your identity that you worked so hard to conceal. Your life is quite literally over.

Oblivious to your misery, your father grins happily on stage. He returns the mic to Mr. Lim before stepping to the side. The rest of the assembly goes by without you realizing. You’re still numb to the fact of what just happened.

You risk a glance at your classmates, and in cliche movie fashion, they’re all staring at you with mouths gaping wide open. Every single one of them.

Your neck heats up and you quickly turn around. But curiosity gets the best of you a few minutes later, and you risk looking again.

They’re still staring at you in shock. Like they can’t believe their eyes.

Chae especially is looking at you with hurt flashing across her face. It squeezes at your heart and you feel overcome with guilt for lying to your friend for a year. You don’t dare to imagine what she’s thinking now.

Without realizing, your eyes travel over to Namjoon. Much to your surprise, he’s not looking at you. He’s the only one with his eyes looking ahead blankly, deep in thought.

You frown, evading everyone’s stares to focus on him. An unrecognizable emotion is written all over his face… is it realization? Regret? Embarrassment?

You can hardly tell. But for the first time, an uncomfortable feeling plunges in your stomach at the fact that Namjoon’s not looking at you.

/

“Dad!” you cry. “How could you do that?”

Your father smiles happily at the sight of you, the two of you standing outside the auditorium in a secluded, private spot. The torture, that was the assembly, has finally come to an end.

“What do you mean?” he answers in confusion. “Do you mean showing up here? Because I was invited by that Mr. Lim fellow, he-”

“Not that!” you whine, groaning into your palms. “I’m talking about saying I’m your daughter in front of the whole architecture department!”

His eyebrows shoot up. “Oh, that? What did I do wrong?”

Your jaw drops. “Dad, are you being serious?”

He nods, clear puzzlement on his face.

“Don’t you remember? I specifically asked for you and Mom to make sure that it never gets out!” you say. “Now, you’ve told everyone I go to college with that I’m the daughter of the man behind HN Architects!”

He blinks for a few seconds. “Is that so wrong?” he almost pouts like a child. “I didn’t know it was such a problem.”

“Of course, it is! Why do you think I asked you not to tell anyone?”

“...I thought you were being modest.”

“Modest?!” you exclaim, before sighing. There’s no use berating your father. It’s no one’s fault but your own for not preparing better for this situation.

“Did you really not want anyone to find out?”

You nod weakly.

“Why not?”

“I… I can’t explain it. They’ll freak out,” you look down. You can’t imagine how much worse your stress is gonna get from now on - it isn’t enough that your own title of the daughter of HN Architects is choking you to death… now you’ll have to deal with every single one of your classmates doing the same thing.

Things will never be the same again. For every grade you get, it’ll be discussed as the grade of the HN Architects’ daughter. For every drawing or idea you’ll submit, it’ll be scrutinized as the work of a girl from privilege. The pressure would multiply infinitely. 

“Oh dear, don’t be silly,” your father suddenly says, resting his hand on your head. “I’m sorry for that. I didn’t realize it was so serious to you. But even if they know, it’s not an issue. You’re an excellent student and it’s only right they pay you the respect as the future CEO of HN Architects.”

You shoot your father a smile but your stomach drops. “I guess so, thanks,” you mumble, unable to explain to him that it’s exactly what he said that terrifies you. 

For the rest of the day, you hide out off-campus in hopes to avoid facing reality.

/

“_____, I think you need to pay for the emotional shock you gave us,” Hobi laughs at the lunch table as soon as you arrive.

Hesitantly, you sit beside Chae who doesn’t share a word with you. Since yesterday, you haven’t even made eye contact with her, despite being her roommate. 

“I think I almost spat out my water when I heard my daughter,” Mina jokes and the table echoes in laughter. You smile awkwardly.

“Yeah… it’s not really a big deal,” you shrug.

“Not a big deal?! Hello! We’re talking to the next HN Architects CEO right now!” another student pipes up.

“_____, forgive me for all I did wrong last semester,” Yuri playfully adds.

“I think we need to be cleaning the floor for her to walk on!”

These statements all fly around the table, exchanged with laughs and smiles. Part of you cowers in the attention, uncomfortable by such blatant recognition of your upbringing.

Another part of you wonders… will things be okay?

You take a careful look around the table of your classmates. Not a single one seems to wear a glare, all sharing in jokes and smiles. For the strangest reason… you feel at ease.

Chae suddenly stands up, with her tray. “I’m done eating. I’ll see you guys later.”

Instantly, you mimic her and chase behind her retreating figure. “Wait Chae-”

“I have class right now-”

Like a child, you jump in front of her to block her path. “Okay, please just hear me out,” you say, pouting. “I’m sorry.”

She sighs. “What are you sorry for? It’s not a big deal.”

“You must feel… annoyed, right?”

Chae blinks at you. “I’ll admit, I was irritated at first. You come from such privilege and I’ve unloaded so much crap on you sometimes about being scared about post-college life while you never had that… but, I’m not really mad about that. You can’t help who you are, right?”

You nod. “You’re still mad at me though, aren’t you? For hiding it?”

She takes a second before replying, “I just… you’re so unreachable sometimes, _____. After I found out, I kind of realized why you’re so stressed all the time and what you meant whenever you alluded to things about your pressures and all… I’m just annoyed you never shared that part of you.”

“I’m sorry.”

For the first time since yesterday, Chae cracks a smile. “Don’t be sorry. I just want you to be more open with me. You don’t need to feel like you need to hide your background… I would’ve tried to understand either way.”

Her words soothe you more than you can explain. Since entering your major, you haven’t once relied on the people around you for support that wasn’t academic. Now, you’re realizing your fatal flaw.

“I’ll try to be better,” you say with a nod. “Thank you for not being mad at me.”

She laughs. “Anyway, you don’t need to worry about me,” she says with a glance elsewhere. “You should check up on him. He’s been spooked since yesterday.”

You turn on your heel to see Namjoon, walking around with the same strange expression on his face from the assembly. For a brief second, your eyes meet but the second flashes, and he quickly looks away.

“Did you see that?!” you scoff. “He just ignored me!”

Chae smiles. “Wow, there really is a first for everything.”

“What’s with him?” you say, watching his awkward walk in your opposite direction. He keeps glancing in your direction, but once he sees you staring at him, he swiftly looks away. It’s a completely new side to him. 

“I don’t know,” Chae shrugs. “He’s being weird. I thought he’d be running after you like always, but he’s resorted to this.”

You scoff again, unfamiliar with this Namjoon who runs away from you, rather than to you. You wonder what’s running through his mind, before pushing the thought away. He’s bound to come after you again after a few days.

/

The confidence with which you assumed Namjoon would be all over you again is faltering.

It’s been a full week since the assembly, and while life has seemingly gone back to normal for you (as normal as things can be)... Namjoon certainly has not.

In classes, he picks the furthest seat away on purpose. You even started to tease him by trying to sit in his front row with him, but instead, you found him in the back row - where he can’t even see. 

His lunches seem to be perfectly timed to not clash with yours. All of a sudden, he’s no longer in the library either. All the places you’d easily find Namjoon hovering over you, he’s disappeared from.

“Does he think this is effective?!” you rant to Chae in your dorm room. “That by suddenly ignoring me, I’ll become obsessed with him?!”

Chae smiles at you knowingly. “I don’t know… if that was his plan to begin with, I’d say it’s pretty effective-”

“Shut up, Chae! I’m just saying this is all so stupid!” you scoff. “Once or twice is fine but he’s actively avoiding me! He saw me in the library yesterday and acted like he forgot a book to leave! We were in the library for god’s sake! What book did he forget that he couldn’t find there?!”

Chae giggles like the situation is laugh-worthy. “Maybe he’s just busy.”

“He made time during final exams last year to bother me. How much busier could he be than he was then?”

“Or maybe he doesn’t want to distract you.”

“It’s not that for sure. Whenever I’d tell him that he’s distracting me before, he wouldn’t care,” you mumble under your breath annoyedly. Chae continues to grin at your behavior, as if your reaction were amusing.

You don’t say it to her but you know very well why you’re annoyed beyond relief. It’s because you know it’s to do with finding out about HN Architects.

You groan. You expected your classmates to be weird around you, maybe even your professors… but Namjoon was the last person you thought would suddenly make a 180 after learning about your family.

That’s why it’s aggravating. Because it’s the one thing you didn’t think he’d care about.

A part of you fears he’s realized just how pathetic you are. After all, Namjoon probably knows how much more promising he is compared to you and now… he had to sit with the fact that you were the daughter of HN Architects.

“Why don’t you just approach him yourself?”

You’re momentarily stunned by Chae’s suggestion. You shoot her a dirty glare.

“What?!”

“I’m not gonna chase after Namjoon! He should approach me himself!”

Chae looks at you like you’re crazy. “You’re the one who wants him to talk to you!”

“Exactly! He should come to me like he always does.”

A laugh escapes Chae’s lips. “Oh, _____… you don’t even realize it, do you?”

You cock a brow before shaking your head. “I don’t have time for your indirect dialogue. I’m just saying that if Namjoon doesn’t come to me and talk this out soon, I’m gonna have to do something very crazy.”

Chae’s eyes flicker with amusement. “Oh? And what’s that?”

You grimace, as if even saying it brings you humiliation. “I’m gonna go talk to him first.”

Chae bursts out laughing, despite your solemn expression. You brush her off, spending the rest of the night on your design homework but secretly planning on wringing Namjoon’s throat if he doesn’t go back to normal soon.

/

By now, you’re sure Namjoon can feel the daggers you’re shooting into his back.

He’s even risked turning back a few times, to see who’s glaring at him. But as soon as your eyes meet, his head spins around as if it were all in your head. He focuses on the professor teaching ahead of him, taking notes diligently.

Beside you, Chae says with a nudge, “so are you gonna do that very crazy thing you were planning?”

You ignore her for the sake of gritting your teeth. Usually, you have no trouble focusing in classes. It’s all because of this wretched situation that you’re so off-game.

As soon as the professor wraps up his powerpoint, you’re faster than anyone else in the class at packing up your things and zooming out the door. You don’t even bid Chae goodbye.

You tap your foot impatiently, staring directly at your target. 

Namjoon… try and ignore me now.

Hooking his bag over his shoulder, Namjoon comes to the door of the classroom before stopping his tracks. Aha, you smile pleased.

“Ah, I just forgot… to talk about my assignment with Mr. Choi,” he mutters out loud to no one in particular. The acting is so terrible that you don’t even have to think about it to know he’s intending it for you to hear.

You march up to him. “No, you don’t,” you scoff and when he looks up at the ceiling, you jump like an infant calling for attention. “Namjoon, if you value your life, you’re gonna drop this act right now,” you say in a menacing voice. 

Immediately, he gulps and looks down at you. His height towers over yours but you smile, knowing you’ve gained the upper hand here. He’s looking at you just as he did before - completely enamoured.

You say nothing but give a deadly gesture to follow you. He obeys without complaint.

When you two are finally in a spot you deem private enough, you raise your chin and look at him happily. Under your gaze, he looks down uncomfortably.

“So you want me to say it or will you explain what the hell is going on?”

He blinks. “I’m not sure what you’re talking about, _____.”

Your blood boils. Now, he wants to feign ignorance. “You’re joking,” you deadpan.

He looks at you innocently and shakes his head. You sigh, blinking in confusion.

This whole situation is a first. True to your words, you’ve never actually… had to do anything more than bat an eye to know Namjoon would come to you. You don’t know the words to even ask what’s wrong.

“_____,” he says in a low voice. You glance up at him, completely losing your train of thought. The sight of him has never registered you disorientated before. But now, you can’t help but trace your eyes over his dimples and sparkling eyes.

You scoff at yourself. You must’ve lost your mind temporarily. “You know what I’m talking about!”

He shakes his head so you continue, “you used to always come to the library at my timings and sit on my lunch table.”

“Oh,” he nods. “That’s because I wanted to sleep in more so I changed my schedule around a bit.”

You blink at his explanation. “You sat at the back of the class when I came to the front row-”

“I just wanted to see what it’s like to sit there. Turns out, it sucks,” he pauses when you don’t reply. “_____?”

You frown, part confused and part innocently. “I just mean… why aren’t you following me anymore?”

The words are out of your mouth before you can help it and your eyes widen in humiliation. That isn’t the way you wanted to ask the question.

Namjoon, instead, is amused. He smirks ever so slightly, before cocking his brow and asking, “Are you asking me why I don’t chase you around anymore?”

His newfound confidence almost makes you lose your footing. This is Namjoon - the nerdy guy who’d come to you. He can’t have this effect on you.

You scoff, faking an assured smile. “Are you denying that you chased me around?”

He blinks. “I mean-”

“Surely, you accept the fact that you did chase me around for a whole year,” you say with a smile playing on your lips. Of course, between the two of you, you both know very well of Namjoon’s infatuation with you. He’s danced around those feelings for both of your comedy’s sake… but this time, you won’t let that slide.

He looks at you, tongue poking in his cheek. “Fine. I do chase you around.”

You almost smile with victory but you stop yourself. Before you can speak, he continues.

“But I won’t anymore. I’m sorry. It was wrong of me,” he says sincerely, seemingly ready on his toes to walk away. Your fingers wrap around his wrist without realizing.

“Wait!” you frown displeased. He’s glancing down at where your touch meets his hand and you instantly let go. “This makes no sense.”

He blinks, confused. “What do you… isn’t this what you’ve wanted?”

“You can’t just change your mind like that!” you argue, a strange desperation cutting into your voice. “You can’t make people get used to you and do that!”

Much to your surprise, he wears a small smile. “I didn’t think it’d bother you so much.”

“I can’t stand you,” you groan. “You chase me around, then you find out one tiny fact about my family and now, you think you’re so much better than me to come after me!” you yell, your heart hammering against your chest. You sound like a child, you know as much but… suddenly around him, all logic’s been thrown out your brain.

“_____,” he says in a breath, a glint in his eye that reads surprise and amusement. His dimples are poking out and you wonder what it’d be like to affectionately poke into one. “Do you… did you like when I would come to you?”

There’s no self-preserving answer to this, one that can save both your dignity and pride. You know what you should say to his question, but nerves are prickling under your skin.

It isn’t the nerves you feel before submitting a drawing or entering an exam, but a whole new uncharted territory of nerves. Everything about this conversation is uncharted territory.

“_____, do you…” he starts a question, before nervously brushing the nape of his neck. He looks shy to even ask but after a moment, he looks at you like a child with candy and says, “do you like me?”

Your heart’s in your stomach. Immediately, you laugh, “no! No! Why would I?! Are you crazy?! Why would I ever like-”

“I don’t know,” he blinks innocently, but the stare he holds on you seems suddenly intimate. “That’s what I’m thinking. Why would you ever care about why I stopped chasing after you, if you don’t like me?”

His cocky grin annoys you. You shoot him a deathly look. “Don’t get too confident with me, Joon,” you say although you’re fumbling with words. “I still remember when you couldn’t even look me in the eye.”

He takes a step closer, holding your stare with no qualms. Your heart speeds up again, like you’ve been running.

“_____,” he says softly with a victorious smile. “You like me, don’t you?”

“I’m not answering your stupid question. First, you explain to me why the hell you think you can treat me the way you have the last week-”

“Because I thought you didn’t like me back,” he answers smoothly. “You’re the daughter of HN Architects and I’ve been wasting your time all year long. I’ve always felt intimidated by you… but now, I realized I really wasn’t worth your time.”

You blink with a frown. “Namjoon-”

“I feel really embarrassed, _____… If I ever wanted to work at HN Architects, I wouldn’t even be able to show my face knowing the way I’ve bothered you-”

“You’ve never bothered me.”

“Huh?”

Your cheeks flush and you suddenly become very aware of the words that escaped your lips. You cast a hesitant glance at Namjoon and you can’t help it. Suddenly, everything feels a lot clearer.

“You know, you’re the kind of architect my father dreams about,” you find yourself saying. “You’re the kind of student someone like me should be. It all comes natural to you. I love buildings but everything I do, it’s just part of who you are… that’s why I acted like you bothered me.”

He’s at a loss for words before muttering, “_____…”

“All I ever think about is trying to fit the ideal I know I have to be and it all comes easy for you. You feel embarrassed in front of me…” you laugh with a scoff. “How do you think I feel, needing your help?”

“I never wanted to compete with you,” he says. “I just wanted to be by your side. I really wasn’t helping you for anything apart from looking for an excuse to be near you.”

There it is… the fluttering feeling.

The truth is, you’ve known all this time too. You’ve known that there was never any ulterior motive, just your cynical mind trying to conjure excuses.

You almost hate yourself at this moment. Your insecurity over your work has warped your thoughts so much that you convinced yourself that… that you feel nothing but annoyance for Namjoon.

“_____,” he starts. His hand hesitantly reaches up, stopping multiple times on its way before finally brushing your hair away from your forehead.

“I think it goes without saying but in my eyes, you’re the smartest person in our major and every time I’m with you, I don’t even care if you reject me or look for an excuse to go away,” he says. “You don’t even realize the way I see you.”

Your eyes sting and you’re not sure if it’s because his words move you or you’ve just forgotten to blink for a long while. “You’re so corny.”

He laughs. “Well, someone needs to tell you you’re doing a good job because I can tell you’re not telling yourself,” he says before sheepishly adding, “and I thought we were exchanging what we like about each other.”

“Who said I like you?”

He grins, ruffling your hair despite the scowl you give him. You say nothing but then give a smile. You didn’t expect today to feel so good… but somehow, that insecurity that plagues your mind at all hours of the day disappears for a while. 

All you can think about is wanting this feeling to last with him. Without warning, you reach to grab Namjoon’s wrist to walk out into the open garden of the campus. In front of your sight, there’s a skyline of buildings decorating the city.

“Do you still stand by your statement that that building is the ugliest?”

You grin. “It’s literally hideous, Joon. I can’t believe you’re the top of our class but think those colors look nice together.”

He gives a warm laugh, unable to disguise his happiness at the way you call him endearingly. Your eyes go back and forth between the skyline and Namjoon beside you before deciding that while buildings are your first true love… there’s something even more beautiful about the boy next to you.

hehe so excited to write on this blog if u read till the end jus know u have all my love

[yan-twst]

Hi can i request yandere savanaclaw and pomefiore when their s/o finally succumbs to stockholm syndrome? Good luck with your writing!

warnings: general yandere content, vague mentions of physical abuse, toxic relationships, drug use

leona kingscholar

cats enjoy to play with their food, but leona won’t deny it’s just nice to finally have some peace and quiet with his darling

as much fun as it was when they were so jumpy and finicky, as much as he enjoyed watching the light in their eyes die out in panic, he’d be lying if he said it didn’t get tiring after a while

leona relishes in the meek affection, months and months of being terrorized and threatened by someone as powerful as leona has taught them to be nice and obedient, and leona fully enjoys the attention

he can nap safely, knowing they won’t dare move from their spot held into his chest. before, they might have thought they could run- take advantage of his sleeping- but they know better now, don’t they?

he’s their king. he’s their everything, really. leona isn’t a very mushy guy, but when he’s holding his little herbivore in his arms... he feels a sense of future. they’re his; he’ll decide their fate, he’ll be their one and only

leona doesn’t talk a lot about it, but he’s already decided his darling will be a stay-at-home spouse. he may not have a solid idea of what his future with them looks like, but he knows for sure it’ll be pleasant for him

 he’s shaped his darling into a perfect, subservient partner. he adores being pampered- love, he wants to be loved, he’s spent so long being unwanted and feared and hated he needs to be loved show him he’s wanted assure him he’s their  king- and he’ll make his darling hold him as he sleeps

leona thoroughly relishes in his darling as they cling to him, forgetting their past life before being kidnapped. sure, he sometimes misses their spunk, the way they{d act before; but he much prefers the way they stick to him now, reassure him they won’t ever run, to please keep them around

ruggie bucci

ruggie has spent the entirety of the “relationship” groveling and vying for attention and affection from his darling

oh, sure, he found their defiance beautiful before. he found their fear and their tears beautiful, too. but really, ruggie just wants them to be his

yes, entirely, purely his. ruggie needs something to call his own: not the clothes he got as hand-me-downs he’ll have to hand down, not the cash he gives to his grandma and to the kids in his street- his darling is entirely his, and the fact they understand this makes him ecstatic

they’re broken? stockholm’s? oh, who cares? everything is perfect now, so does it really matter the process it took to get here?

ruggie relishes in returning from work to his darling, embracing them, nuzzling into their chest, facing no resistance. 

it’s such a relief they aren’t trying to run away, really; buying locks and fixing the doors and windows isn’t cheap. they didn’t understand he was working hard for their future together, but it’s fine now, because they understand now, right? right?

seeing they’ve completely given up on running away or going home, ruggie relaxes- and by that i mean he takes on more jobs

it pains him to be away from his darling, especially when they beg for him to stay- perhaps he should’ve been more careful, breaking his previously normal and strong darling into a clingy and meek lover- but in his brain, it just makes sense. he needs to provide for his lover, right? 

because in ruggie’s brain, he’s got it all planned out. he’s getting out of the slums and building the perfect life with his darling, of course- he doesn’t want them to work a day of their life, he wants their life to be picture perfect, as he works to provide a nice life. isn’t that all they need, really?

jack howl

jack is... torn

he’s been justifying his actions as “protection”- this is just his instinct to protect his mate, his instinct to protect his partner, it’s normal, he’s normal- but he knows it’s... wrong.

it terrifies him when he notices his darling stop fighting back. it terrifies him when the fear in their eyes is replaced with love, to see how they’re suddenly so dependent on him

oh, don’t get him wrong, he loves it. he relishes in the affection, in how they seek him out; they patiently sit in his room, ask to accompany him in his early morning jogs just to spend some time with him, care for his plants when he’s gone; they act almost as if they were there of his own will

and perhaps that’s why the other, rational side of him is terrified. they shouldn’t be so comfortable with him, not after all he’s done. oh, don’t get him wrong, he’d never push them away, he’d never let them go; even if they’ve stopped trying to run, he won’t leave the doors unlocked, but the mere fact they don’t even think to try is...

... he’s broken them, for sure. it has to be. 

and yet he can’t bring himself to feel bad. wolves only love one person, their one and only mate. perhaps this is fate- they’re his one and only, maybe they’ve realized that. that there’s nobody else for them, that they’re meant to be with him

jack worries, still. this is fine, it is- he adores it, he relishes in it, but how far can it go...? he’ll have moments when he panics; is this love or a way his darling is coping with his actions? he’ll hold them, requesting they assure him; they love him, they really love him, right?

vil schoenheit

... by the time vil realizes his darling’s succumbed to stockholm syndrome, they’re in deep.

because vil makes a habit of slipping love potions to his darling to keep them docile and affectionate, he’ll write up their behaviour to the potions- perhaps their body has become used to them...? some sort of new reaction to the usual formula? 

it’s when vil realizes the potion should’ve worn off but his darling isn’t kicking and crying or trembling that it hits him- something has changed

of course, it’s not the same. a love potion turns his darling into a malleable, meek, almost delirious doll- but his darling off the potion is usually... well, they usually fight back, scream and cry; they’re ungrateful, trying to escape vil’s care

but they... aren’t doing that, despite vil knowing the potion should have worn off hours ago

they’re quiet, looking at vil as if waiting for instructions; they play with the edge of their shirt

vil is almost overwhelmed. this is- this is all he’s wanted. this is how it should have been from day one. 

he might not lay off the love potions; he doesn’t trust this “moment of clarity” as he calls it; he fears that one day his darling will return to their fear, to their shaking, trying to escape

but as time goes on, he learns that something has changed. at night, they cuddle up to him voluntarily, they let him dress them up, take care of them; and they only seem to worry about making him happy and meeting his expectations

it’s a turning point for vil. he’s been using love potions and other substances to keep his darling pliant- they have so much potential but just wouldn’t let him polish them- but now they are putty in his hands, trying so hard to meet his expectations, to earn his attention...

vil will tighten the leash. if they’re now reaching for affection and approval, he’ll play with the carrot and stick- slowly shaping them more and more into his ideal lover, rewarding their good actions with the affection and praise their isolated and broken spirit craves so much, and punishing all actions he deems “unsightly”

oh sure, his actions have already changed his darling beyond belief, but it’s not enough. vil will keep pushing, pushing and pushing- perhaps until something breaks

rook hunt

when an animal is hurt enough, it gives up; it stops running away, lies down to bleed to death or to be captured by its predator. that’s how he sees the situation; the “hunting” period is over, his darling’s given up

he can’t say it surprises him. all humans must have limits- being stalked, then kidnapped, being caught again and again, he understands how that must whittle down someone... oh, but it was all born from love, so it’s all ok, isn’t it?

indeed, this is just the next step in the relationship

his darling might not be running or jumping at shadows anymore, but rook is a lover of all love languages. he’ll gladly accept the physical affection that comes with his darling’s broken spirit

affectionate as always, rook doesn’t seem to care at all that his darling’s state is anything but natural. it’s almost something out of a romance book, the way they’ve come around, isn’t it?

because much of their time was spent fearing rook, running from him, being hurt as punishment, they’ve learnt to associate all these things with him. when they’re scared they call for him, they associate being chased with being loved, being hurt with affection. rook has perhaps used pavlovian conditioning to turn his darling into someone who couldn’t possibly survive outside of his care

a domestic animal cannot survive in the wild, rook knows this. and when he looks at his darling, who has become so used to their life locked inside, vying for their captor’s attention, sleeping so peacefully in his bed, he’s more sure than ever they belong nowhere outside of his sight

epel felmier

epel is a bit shocked, but he takes the situation with open arms

the one thing he wants the most is to be seen as strong, reliable, manly. he wants his darling to see him as everything he wants to be seen as, he wants to eliminate the image of him being “weak” or “fragile” from their mind

he often takes out his frustrations of being perceived in such ways onto them, too. he knows it’s not their fault per se, but god, it’s frustrating, and it’s not like he has many chances to let go off steam in a healthy way

on one hand, it’s a bit bittersweet. as much as he hates to say it, seeing his darling be scared of him gave him... some sort of power rush. oh, it made him feel so powerful, it really did, when he’d raise his voice and they’d flinch, when he’d grab them by the neck of the shirt when he was particularly pissed and they’d tense up. it’s wrong and fucked up- but it made him feel like he was the world’s most threatening man in his darling’s eyes

but well, having his darling settle into the “relationship” is also quite nice. he’s grown up seeing quiet, traditional marriages all through his childhood- he feels like he’s finally like those strong men who come back to their spouse each day, back to a loving partner who greets him with a smile and a kiss (and then he unlocks the chain around their ankle, and he praises them for not tugging at it, he can tell because there’s no friction burns, he’s so proud of them)

besides, just because his darling’s given up on escape, has somehow settled into a sort of fucked up routine, doesn’t mean epel is just magically fixing all the problems. he’s the problem- the way he loves, the way his heart tells him to take, take, take, to be reassured, to be in power- but they learn to try and rationalize it

it’s love, right? it- it has to be love, yes. epel is sweet. epel is nice. epel is sweet and nice and strong and he’s only doing what’s needed. epel isn’t horrible he isn’t a monster no how could they ever think that no he doesn’t hurt them he would never make them scared on purpose- it’s almost painful to watch his darling rationalize their captor’s behaviour, to relish the days epel carves apples for them and handfeeds them, to try and justify the days he ignores them and threatens them because he’s been pushed to the limit by vil

[heliads]

Into Thin Air

Newt doesn’t know what to think after Y/N disappears one night in the Scorch. She’s nowhere to be found, until a few weeks later she shows up with the girls from Group B. The only problem is that she can’t remember who Newt is, and all Newt can remember is how much he loves her.

masterlist

Newt sits alone, staring out at the desolate desert before him. He’s hidden from view, sheltered by a craggy outcropping, but the protection does little to settle the turmoil of thoughts lurking inside his head. The sound of footsteps approaches behind him, but Newt doesn’t have to turn his head to recognize his friend.

Minho stoops and sits down a few feet away. Newt glances at him. It’s strange- all of Newt’s memories of his life before the Maze have been stripped away, leaving behind only his time trapped within those walls. Minho is his best friend, but Newt can’t help but wonder if he had other friends, before all of this started. Before he was imprisoned in the Maze, before they escaped WICKED and stuck themselves in the desert. Did he have friends before that? Would it really matter if he did, anyway? If they’re not dead by now, they will be soon.

But he has Minho, and that’s enough. Minho’s been his friend for a long time. Newt hasn’t really known anyone for that long, or grown that close, except maybe Alby. Even the thought of the guy makes Newt’s throat burn. He’d known the guy forever, even been his second in command for all that time in the Maze. Newt can still picture Alby’s face in the back of his mind, that look of determination just before the Griever snatched him away. They’ve lost so many people. Alby, and Chuck, and Winston, and-

Newt can’t quite bring himself to finish the sentence.

Distantly, Newt realizes that Minho is still there, and staring out over the same horizon Newt had been studying a few minutes ago. At last, the other boy speaks. “We’re going to find her, you know? There’s no way we won’t.” Newt sighs. “We don’t know if she’s out there anymore. Or if she’s even somewhere we can find.” 

Minho shakes his head, resolute. “She has to be somewhere. They wouldn’t take her just to kill her when nobody is watching.” Newt opens his mouth to argue, but Minho holds up a hand and continues speaking. “WICKED had to have taken her. She would never have left any of us, and definitely not you. Besides, we went to sleep with her right next to us, and woke up to her gone. No footprints, no tracks, no nothing. If she had left on her own accord, we would have seen a trail leading away, but there was just blank sand. It’s like she never even existed. Does that sound like some girl who’s sick of us and wanted to leave, or like WICKED wanted to send a message?”

Newt’s heard Minho’s attempt to soothe his worries a couple of times now, but he still plays along. “What message would WICKED want to send instead of just taking all of us? If they have the ability to get her, what’s stopping them from completing the job and getting all of us back?” Minho jabs a finger in the air, ready to prove his point. “They want to scare us, make us think that WICKED’s way more powerful than we’ll ever be. If they pick us off one by one, they’re hoping that we’ll come back to them easily instead of them having to chase us down. Less damage to the subjects if they return of their own free will, right?”

Newt chuckles quietly. “If they were interested in keeping their subjects in the best condition they wouldn’t have put us through the bloody Maze in the first place. They would have stuck to inkblots and blood tests like any other reasonable doctor.” Minho grins. “Hey, who said they were reasonable? They just don’t want us killed off before they get the chance to do it themselves.”

In spite of himself, Newt feels a smile growing on his face. “Alright, alright. I’ll stop moping. Are we heading out soon?” Minho stands, clapping his friend on the back as he leaves the outcropping. “In a few minutes. Thomas thinks the Right Arm reinforcements should be in the mountains just a mile or so down. We’re almost there.”

The Right Arm. Thomas seems convinced that the people of the Right Arm can help them, and save the Gladers from inevitable deaths at the hands of WICKED. It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense- use a shadowy, mysterious organization to escape another mysterious organization? At least the Right Arm isn’t known for running death tests on teenagers. That’s already a bonus.

The path to the mountains is dangerous, but to be honest, what part of their journey hasn’t been dangerous? Newt thinks it’s going fine, that although the terrain isn’t the best they’re at least making progress, and then the bullets start to ring out. Instantly, everyone panics and starts to hurtle toward whatever cover they can scrounge up in the desert, cowering as gunfire rains down around them. From the corner of his eye, Newt sees a couple of figures emerge from the mountains, faces hidden and weapons drawn.

Newt shoves Thomas and Minho to get their attention, and they start to come out with their hands drawn. Three figures stand before them, weapons pointed at them. Newt scans their faces, but he doesn’t recognize the first one, or the next. It’s only when his gaze falls upon the last of the three, on the figure standing farthest away, that he feels his heart freeze in his chest.

It’s not her. It couldn’t possibly be her. But yet-

Before he even knows what he’s doing, Newt is stepping away from the protective cover of the car, away from his friends, and towards the third figure. He can see Thomas and Minho extending their arms to pull him back, but they’re moving slowly, as if coming from far away. All that matters now is the girl before him, the girl with those all-too-familiar eyes that are now glaring at him in fear.

Newt’s voice comes cracked and quiet in the space at the foot of the mountains. “Y/N?” The girl levels her gun at him. “Who are you, and how do you know my name?” Newt stumbles, thrown by less by her threatening tone of voice and more the words that she’s just said. “Y/N? Why don’t you-” Hie voice breaks off into silence. Minho and Thomas are next to him now, and all Newt can do is stare at the girl in front of him. “Why doesn’t she know who I am?”

The other two figures are by Y/N’s side in an instant, the two pairs of three staring at each other. The tension builds and builds until finally the first of the figures glances away, at the other boy walking up to them. “Aris?” Suddenly, the hostility vanishes, and the figures are pulling away their face coverings to reveal the smiling faces of two girls. Aris turns back to them, clearly happy to see the girls. “This is Harriet and Sonya. They’re from Group B.” He addresses the Group B girls now: “They’re with me. They’re friends. They helped me escape from WICKED.”

Harriet and Sonya nod, but Newt just watches as the third girl hesitantly removes her own coverings. Sure enough, it’s Y/N. Harriet notices Newt’s stare and turns to his former friend. “Y/N, do you know these guys?” Y/N shakes her head. “I have no idea who they are, or how they know who I am.” Newt’s heart seems to drop in his chest. “What are you talking about? Y/N, I’ve known you for about a year, ever since you came into the Maze.”

Y/N’s eyes hold no recognition, no laughter, no light. She seems to have no idea who Newt is. “All I know is that I showed up one day alongside the Group B girls. They’ve been my family ever since.” She walks away, presumably to tell the people with guns to stand down. Newt is left alone with the words dying on his tongue: We were your family first.

Newt watches from a distance as his friends talk and laugh around him. They’re happy to have the Group B girls, who went through the Maze just like the Gladers did, and they’re relieved to have the protection of the Right Arm. Newt should be out there too, finally allowing himself to relax or at least have a good time, but he can’t quite muster up the energy to fake the smiles. Y/N doesn’t recognize him. That’s the only thing he has room to think about right now.

As if just thinking about the girl was a summoning, Newt turns to see a familiar figure walking away from the fire and coming to stand next to him. This picture, the two of them standing so close together, away from everyone else, is so painfully familiar that it hurts to know that she isn’t thinking of the connection they once shared. All Newt can think about is that he’s stood by her a hundred times, but all she can think about is that the boy next to her is a stranger, someone she’s never even seen before.

Y/N is the first to speak. “Is it true? Did you really- did you really know who I was?” Newt nods hollowly. “We first met when you arrived in the Maze. We were friends for a while, and-” He cuts himself off. He can’t talk about that, not right now. “And then we escaped, and you disappeared.” Y/N looks at the ground, at the fire, at her friends. Anywhere but him. “I have this strange feeling like I know who you are. Or I should, at least. But I can’t remember a single thing about you.” Newt stands silently, not trusting himself to speak.

Y/N turns to him at last, eyes burning into his own. He’s missed that look, that focus brushing across her brow. “Can you tell me what I was like? You know, in your Maze?” Newt sighs. “I’m not sure we could fit it into one night. You were there almost as long as I was, bordering on two years.” Y/N’s gaze is unrelenting. “Can you try?” Newt could never say no to her. Not in the Maze, and not now, when it’s just the two of them and he’s missed her so much. He clears his throat, and begins to speak.

“We were friends at first. Probably since the moment you showed up. You had this way of getting people to listen to you, even when the shanks were seconds away from tearing each other apart. There were only a few of us in the Maze, or at least at the beginning. You, me, Alby, and Minho. We were like a little family. I thought our friendship would last forever, and then other boys started showing up.”

Y/N frowns. “Did we fight or something?” Newt laughs ruefully. “No, we just- Well, I was kind of a shucking idiot myself. This one boy showed up, and he used to make me so angry. You’d be doing your job, not focusing on anything else, and then he’d come up and start talking to you. I didn’t know why it was bothering me so much, that he would be there for just a few seconds and the two of you would be laughing like you’d known each other all your lives, and then I realized after a while that it wasn’t him that annoyed me, it was that I was just jealous. Stupid, but jealous all along.”

“I kept it to myself, didn’t want to bother you. I didn’t realize you loved me until later.” Y/N looks up at him, mouth slightly tilted down into a frown. “But then what happened with you?” Newt smiles to himself. “I’d loved you all along. Don’t think I had much choice in the matter. Anyways, it took me a while to get up the courage, but I told you how I felt one night at the bonfire. I was nervous about it, but you just looked at me with this smile and I knew everything was going to be alright.”

Y/N’s smiling now. It’s strange, thinking of that night with this new Y/N next to him. She’s got the same expression on her face as the night Newt told her he loved her, and it cuts away at Newt that she could smile at him like that without remembering that night at all. Newt realizes he’s been staring too long, because Y/N gently nudges his arm. “Go on.” Newt looks away, fighting the shyness that suddenly overwhelmed him.

“We were happy, for a long time. We had months of uneventful life. Well, as uneventful as the Maze can be. Then Thomas and Teresa showed up, and the Maze doors didn’t close, and the Grievers attacked us all.” Newt’s eyes flicker shut as he remembers that night, remembering the tongues of flame spiraling over the buildings and the horrified looks of his friends. He can still hear the screaming, smell the coppery tang of blood like the scene was still being played out around him.

“We managed to escape. Not quite sure how. I don’t think I was scared for myself, more that you were going to die and I was going to have to live without you. When we first showed up at Janson’s building, I thought we were finally out and in the clear. We were so excited to have escaped and have a new life, one where we could actually relax and be just teenagers.” Newt’s voice twists into something bitter as he remembers how hopeful they’d been, and how quickly that hope had fallen apart, just like everything else that seemed to come their way.

“Then Janson turned out to be with WICKED, so we escaped. Took a while and a lot of running, but we made it out.” Newt falls silent, and Y/N tilts her head expectantly. “And then what?” Newt swallows unevenly, still feeling the pain and overwhelming heartache of that one specific night. “And then we were alone in the desert, all of us from the Glade who’d made it out plus Aris. We went down to sleep, late at night. You were right next to me. When I opened my eyes, you were gone.”

Newt looks away, fighting back the hot prick of tears threatening to appear at the corners of his eyes. “That was the worst part. You were right there, so close. There was no way you could have left without waking me. I knew you wouldn’t leave, so it had to be WICKED, but it still hurt. I was so worried that you’d died, or that they had dragged you back to their facilities and were experimenting on you-”

Newt can’t finish. Y/N nods, understanding. “And then you showed up to the mountains, and I had no idea who you were.” “Exactly.” Y/N sighs, leaning up against the rocky crag behind her. “I don’t know what to say. It all sounds familiar, but it just doesn’t sound like me. Are you sure that you’ve got the right girl?”

Newt nods. He’d know Y/N in a heartbeat, across the darkest night, anywhere. This girl is the one he loves, right down to that slight crease in her brow that she gets whenever she can’t figure something out. “I don’t know how to explain it. You are you, Y/N, and you’re the same girl I’ve been in love with since the Maze. You’re the same girl who always had a smile, even when things got dark, who yelled at the Builders but made friends with all the Greenies, who helped everyone survive the Maze because that’s just who you were.” Newt draws a ragged breath. “You’re the same Y/N who made me fall in love with you, and I’m not going to let any trick from WICKED convince me to let you go.”

Newt’s staring off into the darkness of the desert, but he turns with a start when he hears a slight noise from Y/N. He stares at her. She’s almost bent double in pain, hands clutching her head. He rushes over to her, helping her to the ground. “Y/N! Are you alright? What happened?” She just shakes her head, gritting her teeth through the pain. “I don’t know. You started talking, and I felt like I recognized something, and then my head started feeling like it was about to crack in two.”

She squeezes her eyes shut in agony, and her shoulders tense up in a spasm of anguish but then suddenly fall still. She lies on the ground, silent. Newt feels like his heart is in his throat. “Y/N? Can you hear me?” Her eyes open slowly, eyelashes fluttering in a dark frame around her eyes. She looks at him for a moment, then two, as if drinking in the sight of him. She reaches out a shaking hand to him, lightly touching his cheek. “Newt?” Her voice is quiet, as if she’s doubting herself, and then she breaks into a grin.

“Newt. Yes. I remember you.” All of Newt’s worries leave him in a rush, and he wraps his arms around her, pulling her close. “Y/N?” She nods, laughing slightly. “I remember everything. The Maze, the Gladers, you, everything.” She pulls back, smiling, so she can look in his eyes. “I don’t remember the part about you being in love with me from the start. You should have told me that earlier.” Newt chuckles, helping her stand. “I was trying to help you get your memories back. I’m sure it was just a dramatized detail.”

She flashes him a beaming glare. “I’m sure it was.” Newt can’t take his eyes off of her. “I was so worried, you know that? I was so worried that you’d left.” Y/N shakes her head. “I could never leave you. Not in a million years.” Newt lets himself smile again, and reaches out to lock his hand around hers. Y/N remembers him. The girl he loves is finally back once more.