#and ofc theres community in identity!

[arolesbianism]

Y'know what the most fucked up abt the whole B111-1 detail is to me? Its a god damn coin flip if it implies some seriously heavy details abt her character and just general morals or if it means absolutely nothing. If it's meant to imply that she was the person who volunteered for the memory transferal trial then it'd not only further showcase that she's fully aware of the duplicant situation, but it'd also imply that she's Been aware of Nikola's fun lil project even if only on a surface level. It could also just be that they stole her dna too and she doesn't know shit. As much as I want to argue that it'd make more sense for it to be the latter due to the fact that she's the Only character to have that fun dash number situation in Any of the logs and it's only in the one we can presume to be quite late in the timeline, I can't deny that it could just as easily be an error or meant to imply smth else. In particular, there's a lot of oni logs that had mistakes and inconsistent details that had to be fixed later, so while I dont actually believe it was a mistake, I can't fully deny the possibility. Nails waking up and deciding to write a log that would redefine so much of what we know if they talked abt it in even 2% more detail

[nightmaredxydreams]

theres no way i have this.

look, heres all the proof you need. im whining about not having DID lmao

who truly has DID and does that? no. body. thats all the proof you need

people who truly dissociate suffer from it. i dont. i love the numbness from my body that experiences so much discomfort (not even chronic pain not even pain like all other DID systems have just fucking discomfort, mostly caused by autism hypersensitivity) i love the feeling of being detached from my own flesh prison ugly undesirable embarassing body. i am fucking faking im prob psycho or sum shit lmaooo

i dont even dissociate that badly. other real DID and even OSDD systems be out here so dissociated they dont even fuckin know their name and feel like nothings real all the time. i never forget my name or personal information, i just forget what i just thought or zone out daydreaming or sum shit and say "whoops! i dissociated sorry" or if im lucky, have few seconds long derealization in little few day long episodes. i dont even fucking dissociate for real. definitely not enough to have DID

i never had severe trauma. i was too disabled and shielded. fuck, the disabilities i was born with prob mimic DID. brain damage to the hippocampus, a majorly affected part of the brain in DID put two and together lmao. who knows how psycho the brain damage made me. im autistic and intellectually disabled, all people with intellectual disability are perverts they get arrested for sex crimes more than other people lmfao ofc i was hypersexual at 3 there was no sexual abuse i am too ugly to be sexually abused or even desired ofc im faking being sexually abused to make me feel better about myself lmfaooo i just cant live with the fact i was born a worthless undesirable unfuckable ugly pervert

if i had DID i wouldnt fucking remember when i was 3 who tf u kiddin

im sensitive to yelling and the least little "threatening" tone or touch or even fucking hand signal. if i was really sexually abused id be triggered by sexual shit, not the least little thing like a trauma free scared little baby

if i had DID id switch out more, especially when triggered or in situations where it would help. idk if i even switch out, i prob js fall asleep, wake up and do shit in the early stages of waking up i dont remember. instead my alters are just back there and do nothing when im being retraumatized and i have to call out mentally loudly to get any alters to respond anymore. then just trying to communicate with them gives me a headache from hell. proof enough my alters are delusions and im some psycho. most of my "alters" are just vague faces with voices and not much of identity. most of them fade away. just like delusions.

i feel like im worthless unless i was sexually abused. my whole worth depends on it for some fucked up reason. i will get defensive toward the two people i live with who say it didnt happen, they arent honest all the time but when they say theres no chance it happened bc i was too shielded even tho i have memories of being alone w him (no abuse memories bc fuck no) i believe it and feel iffy when i even wonder if i was sexually abused. when i think about any other form of abuse i suffered or trauma i have, i feel like that means i wasnt sexually abused. i have no memories of it, i never did until someone pointed out that my hypersexuality at 3 was a sign of sexual abuse so i went diving for the memories myself. then what i got were a few random half ass flashbacks to the sexual abuse. if i was really sexually abused i wouldve had flashbacks to it waaay before i made myself remember. everyone else with ptsd, did osdd etc does

other people with DID feel broken and suffer because of their trauma. they remember it somehow and suffer from the effects of it. i just suffer from wanting to have the trauma to be valid, not knowing if the trauma happened and having things trauma victims have but no memories of the trauma. the only flashbacks i have are to things i deserve, things that other people would agree i deserve and arent anywhere near as traumatizing as it can get for a real sexual abuse survivor. things that dont cause DID and rarely cause ptsd. i have cringe ass trauma. i dont have valid trauma.

i dont really have DID and i wasnt sexually abused. i just held onto the idea as an excuse for me being a worthless, born broken, jealous, delusional psycho pervert who will never amount to anything, never matter enough to get a job, marry or have a family, never mattered enough to be smart or do normal kid things because of my disabilities, never got to be cool and wont be, am trying to be cool and matter when i never will, am so ugly my body doesnt deserve love and sure as fuck wasnt sexually desired as a little kid how fucking sick of me to even want that to matter, and dont matter because of my disabilities. im sorry for faking it all. no wonder my denial was so strong, it was never real anyway. now im gonna do some major fucking harm to my ugly waste of space and resources body and kill myself. im fucking sick and tired of living in hell from my own brain torturing me saying im worthless and not valid and more i cant say here. good fucking bye.

[aresonist]

i loove the hotguy mask design,, do u have any lore like about the bad things that happened to him in his past?

this au is generally just my little scar angst pile and is just really messy cause its made via me listening to emo tiktok audios and walking in a circle and was made like 2 days ago and i havent like explored it good good and its probably not good story wise but like i said so far its my scar angst pile and i dont imagine myself actually working on this other than random thoughts durning the day BUT! miserable things that have maybe happened to scar in that au!:

-his bestest friend (cub) went missing at some point! reappeared as a villain and is basically an empty vessel for vexes and vey much not in control of himself and also tries to get him to accept vexes! leaves him very miserable everytime they see eachother

-i imagine like heroes generally dont know eachothers identities unless they tell eachother its like a trust thing, by a thing government might know. But the way scar found out mumbos identity was bc mumbo got really fucking hurt durning a mission they were on together and has this couple days coma and scar just refused to leave his side, he ofc felt bad about it but cmon its his friend!!! when mumbo woke up he offered to show him his face too but mumbo refused

-when mumbo left the whole hero gig scar was DEVASTATED, he gave him a big big hug and cried a little and they also made a deal that scar wont go out of his way to look for him for safety reasons or whatever (and also the fact that mumbo didnt want him to find out that hes gonna be joining their villain kind of friend)

-he works at a cafe to give him something normal to do when hes off duty, since he doesnt really have many non hero work friends and even if he did that friendship would be a hard time bc of the whole hero thing so working there when he has the time is his little escape and also a place where he meets grian! a very loyal customer who very quickly becomes one of his best friends even if they dont hang out much besides grians coming to the cafe. so imagine his suprise when his good pal grian brings in his other good pal mumbo and he has to act normal and not like he missed the man, its a very minor thing but HE MISSED THE MAN!!!

-when he finds out mumbo quit to become a villain he is quite distraught but hes deffo more distraught when he gets some crystal/bomb/whatever magic thing blown up in his face while trying to take it away from his kind of friend villain, and he technically dies? but vexes do keep following him in an attempt to join them and not very surprisingly saving his life is a pretty good offer when hes not really concious, now in this moment i am not sure whenever they villains just leave him after checking to make sure hes still alive and clicking an emergency button on his communicator or he, now under hre control of the vex attacks them or hes dead when they check all of those seem fun in one way or another

anyway theres a bit more?? but as you can see its all tangled in my head and most content was generated from me hearing music and going what if scar bad things happen

[mordcore]

huh how weird. so theres

👫 m+w couple

👬 mlm couple

👭 wlw couple

🧑‍🤝‍🧑 nblnb couple

but only nbs can be in a relationship with nbs apparently

i know online labels such as nblw and nblm exist as well but ive NEVER seen wlnb or mlnb

the obvious limitations of treating all nonbinary people like one gender aside, its almost like binary people pretend they are never attracted to us or if they are its like "its fine ill just label it under a binary gender dont worry". "women and nonbinary people" and such. this isnt about bisexual lesbians this is about "im attracted to [binary gender]. and if i happen to like someone whos nonbinary im just gonna ignore their identity and keep saying im attracted to [binary gender]."

im not bisexual nor super involved in the community nor trying to stir up drama but i notice that despite members of the bisexual community saying "its attraction to two or more genders" the flag color meanings are "attraction to men, attraction to women, attraction to both" and in mainstream 99% of the time bisexual is explained as "attraction to men and women". i think bisexuals r valid and can do whatever they want i just want to point out examples of how the existence of folks like me is erased from the. everywhere. nonbinary people are only ever an afterthought.

and i have the advantage that i do not care abt dating and such so i can just ignore relationship gender label stuff completely without having to erase my identity but not everyone can do this. also the problem is in many more places ofc its just that in queer spaces that use labels for stuff its very obvious. basically unless youre pansexual or bisexual or aromantic or asexual your orientation label will erase nonbinary folks from existence (theres probably people who experience attraction who are never attracted to nonbinary people at all but yall are the minority, enbies are everywhere even if you dont know that) or be too obscure to be widely used

thinking about this i rly have to hand it to people who dont use orientation labels thats certainly a way to deal with the limitations of labels

[bucephaly]

Weird seeing posts that are like 'man you have [experience]? You might actually be [LGBT identity]!'

Like. Phrased in the same way we might say 'you might have adhd!' As if LGBT identities are like. Yea you were born agender!! Yay we figured it out!!

As if these aren't all just Words people might feel like describes their experiences

The identity doesn't come before the experience. The identity is just a way to sorta communicate experience to other people that's all it is

I just feel like people get so caught up in identities without letting themselves experience themselves without immediately trying to fit themselves into a box

[dakbees]

an artist doesnt have to be openly gay in order make gay stories like for one that puts the artist in question in a dangerous situation and two u cant gatekeep the content an artist is inspired to make

[elftwink]

individual nb people may or may not call themselves trans and they may or may not be trans women or trans men in addition to being nb, but nb falls under the trans umbrella. they’re part of the trans community and they have a say on community-wide issues and discussions. can yall stop using the way individual nb people choose to identify as a way to lock them out of discussions they have every right to be in lmao

[starglitterz]

hi theree! can i please have chocolate pudding with biscuits and fruit for scaramouche?:> thank youuu:]

hiii, ofc u can <3!

request; scaramouche fluff, together in the rain, soulmate au

soulmate au: whatever you write onto your skin appears on your soulmate's skin as well, but there are conditions. you're not permitted to write your name or exact location or any details that may give away your identity, as those words won't form on your soulmate's skin, so it's up to the both of you to figure out some way to find each other.

cw; swearing, scaramouche calls reader a loser but he means it affectionately

please reblog ! it helps a lot :)

( @genshin-has-ruined-me )

not sure why but tumblr isn't letting me tag u >:(

scaramouche.

'what the fuck' spells itself out with great loopy letters on your arm in black ink, and you smile to yourself at the sudden crudeness. uncapping your pen, you scribble a question on your other arm, 'what happened?' a minute passes before a reply forms on the inside of your wrist, '━━ gave me a ton of work'. you wish it wasn't censored, but you know the rules of having a soulmate, so you ignore it and write on the back of your hand, 'that sucks'. 'yeah' comes the short answer on your palm, for both of you are running out of exposed skin to write on. 'hang on, i've got to finish this,' the sentence fades onto your cheek, which you're able to see in your reflection in the mirror hanging opposite you on the back of the door to your office. you had it hung there for this exact purpose of communicating with your soulmate - you had always been a hopeless romantic. 'back in a bit' the person scrawls onto your other cheek, causing you to chuckle at how peculiar you look with ink all over you and you head to the bathroom to rinse it off before getting back to work - after all, being a fatui harbinger is no piece of cake.

-

scaramouche leans back in his seat, dragging his hands down his face in irritation. only a second later does he realise he's smudged the fresh ink there, and he groans again before getting up to go clean it. as he's walking down the corridor to the washroom, his mind absently travels to thoughts of his soulmate. they had been chatting with each other via little messages on one another's skin for quite a long time now, almost six months, but they still were no closer to discovering who each other were. the balladeer often finds himself wondering if they ever will meet, though he quickly chases the negativity out of his mind. in fact, he's not sure if he really wants them to meet him, because what if they don't like him? or what if they think his job is too disgusting and that he's an awful person who has a habit of killing those who go against him? well, the latter is true, but he certainly wouldn't want his soulmate to think that about him.

scaramouche looks up as he reaches the door to the grand washroom of the fatui headquarters that's limited for harbinger usage only; it's complete with a huge bathtub, multiple showers and cubicles, basically it's fit for a king. you stroll out, shaking excess water from your hands and smirk at him, "hey, scara." scaramouche feels his breath hitch in his throat. he had been planning not to acknowledge you, because whenever he was near you, his knees get weaker and he finds it difficult to formulate coherent sentences, so it was just easier not to speak to you. but now that you had spoken first, he had to reply! "y/n," he nods once, hoping that's sufficient. archons, when did the sixth harbinger become such a coward?!

"you are as abnormally tall as ever," you state with a playful grin on your lips, and scaramouche can't help but think that he might like to kiss you- wait, no! he can't be thinking like this about you, he already has a soulmate! scaramouche may be a two-faced lying murderer, but he is loyal. "shut up," he folds his arms across his chest, looking away from your mirth-filled eyes. you always love riling up the other harbinger, you can't help it, he looks so cute when he's mad. "what's that on your face?" you squint, noticing the inky tracks on his cheeks. "nothing!" scaramouche panics, bringing his hands to cover his face, which happens to be turning even redder the more he converses with you. "okay..." you move back, "if you say so, mr balladeer." "look, you don't get to mess with me just because you only came back from your mondstadt mission yesterday, alright? i'm in charge here," scaramouche glares up at you. he's not actually upset, but he does doubt his heart will be able to handle it if you keep teasing him, so he better nip it in the bud. you stand up ramrod straight and salute him, "yes, sir!"

scaramouche, the sixth harbinger of the fatui, is left speechless from your quick-witted replies, and so he huffs before storming into the bathroom, pretending as if there isn't a cherry blush darkening his cheeks.

-

'hi loser' the words form on your palm, and you roll your eyes before writing on your other palm, 'thanks for the lovely greeting'. 'you are very welcome,' the sentence appears on your inner wrist, and you can't help but giggle at the blatant sarcasm. 'anyways...' the words begin travelling up your arm as your soulmate scribbles on his 'it's raining right now for me'. you glance out your window, only to find it actually is pouring with rain, the sky painted with grey clouds. 'same!' you message back, squeezing the single word in between your partner's huge writing. it was one of the first things that caught your eye when you started "speaking" with him, his giant cursive writing that spread across your skin like a map of stunning calligraphy. sure, it was more than a little tedious to clean it off, but you didn't mind - you found it pretty.

'let's go outside, i'm bored' your soulmate writes, and you reply with a beam 'sure :)'. you're aware the chance of you actually being able to see your soulmate is incredibly low, and it's more likely to be a happenstance that it's raining where both of you live. however, you always were a dreamer, so you skip out of your office and outside. you don't bother bringing an umbrella or a raincoat, only carrying a pen to communicate with your lover. not to mention, it's super hot and stuffy in your room, so you're excited to bask in the refreshing coolness of the rain.

it's safe to say you're shocked out of your wits when you see scaramouche standing out there too, raindrops beginning to soak his clothes.

your brain scrambles to find a logical reason for it, and you decide he must have been suffering from the heatwave too. "scara, what are you doing here?" you ask, still eager to satisfy your curiosity. he blushes, seemingly for no reason, but it's actually because he doesn't want to divulge the real explanation, "i felt like it." "oh, okay," you chuckle at his peculiar behaviour, "i'm here because my soulmate invited me to come out." scaramouche's indigo eyes widen for a millisecond, but he tries to brush it off. there are millions of people in teyvat, and there is a high possibility that your soulmate had just coincidentally chose to ask you to come relax in the rain. he wasn't your soulmate... right?

'so, how does the rain feel?' scaramouche scrawls onto his palm, cursing how awkward he sounds and also maintaining one eye on you. when words start fading onto your hand, scaramouche doesn't know whether to laugh or cry, but he does know that he can't keep denying this. "y/n..." "scara!" the two of you speak at the same time, and being such a 'lovely' (said no one ever) gentleman, scaramouche frowns, "you first." "so, i guess we're soulmates, huh?" you ask, unsure how else to deliver the bombshell of information. scaramouche wants to melt into the floor, but he nods, "i suppose so." his nonchalant reply has you pout at him in false anger, "that's all you're going to say? jeez, way to wreck my dreams of a dramatic confession."

scaramouche gulps down his nervousness, forcing himself to summon all his courage. this just explained how he's always liked you beneath his thorny personality, he just believed you and his soulmate were two different people, and when combined with his inability to display affection, he did tend to come off as more than a little rude. "well..." scaramouche moves closer to you, rain and his hat obscuring his expression, but he cups your face with a calloused hand, doing his best to be as gentle as possible, "maybe i can try again?" and it's with a surprised yet pleased giggle that you lean forward and press a kiss against his lips, "sure! after all, we've got the rest of eternity to spend together, scara."

"it might not be that bad if i get to spend it with you."

"did i hear that correctly? the great scaramouche was being lovey-dovey?!"

"shut up, i'm never being nice again."

quill speaks !

no bc why does the drabble turn into a fic EVERY SINGLE TIME i write for scaramouche i stg /lh

stop bc i wanna tease scara too 🥺 he'd prolly murder me but it would be worth it ♥

i hope you enjoyed this !! rlly sorry i couldn't tag you :(

also this is a queued hiatus post !

anyways i hope you enjoy your stay at quill’s dessert cafe, and do check out the menu if you'd like ! 🍭

© starglitterz 2021. do not repost or modify in any way.

[desi-lgbt-fest]

really love the blog it’s cool to see so many desi queer people, i just gotta say that from what I’ve seen on tumblr the desi queer scene (like many other things) tends to be heavily dominated by north indian hindi speaking folks. idk it just makes me really uncomfortable when all we can ever discuss is. “what if we shipped the two guys from this really misogynistic bollywood movie” “mahabharat but make it ✨gay” (as if making it #representation like some bloody anime erases a couple millennia of caste and gender based oppression) (also the fact that we’re not all hindu cough cough)

enjoying media is cool and all. great. you do you. idk this sounds whiny but it’s just really disappointing that we’re more focused on infighting and squabbling over which identity is which and which ship is valid and less on civil rights (and no i don’t mean gay marriage* for the love of fuck) (also whatever advocacy i do see is so overwhelmingly assimilationist oh my god)

*theres more nuance to this ofc but marriage still remains an overwhelmingly patriarchal and casteist institution particularly!!! in desi folks!!! and maybe we should question that a bit (ofc gay marriage should be legal but christ people are acting like that’s the be all end all of the rights we can have)

Oh god yes sometimes queer representations do get dominated by the north Indian hindu and hindi speaking people. But it's just a statistic game at this point. We do promote all kind of discussions that come our way and we see a lot of bangla and Tamil and marathi queer representation here within our community too as there are fair number of those people here. I have my own opinions on toxic movie shipping or Mahabharata shipping but i don't largely disagree with you.

Regarding queer rights... Yess, there are a lot more rights we as queer people need to fight for. The equality doesn't end, does not even begin at marriage equality. But in a society that places so much value on the patriarchal and casteist institution of marriage, having marriage equality is a far bigger win than it would ordinarily be. We do need to have amendments in existing anti discrimination acts to include queer people to prevent discrimination in employment or housing or adoption processes.

We should definitely have all these conversations. I definitely agree it's hard to have these conversations when all the other noise is way too much.

If you do come across unique or different queer media or any queer issue that needs attention, please come and share with us. Thank you for sharing what you feel with us. I hope you feel a little lighter now.

[teeth-farie]

Hell yeah! In that case I'd actually totally love valdemar content from you. <3

Its so hard to find people who don't erase it completely in favour of drawing them in smut instead of just well- respecting their identity and simply changing it in a few spots. (Bc trust me theres many aroace people who dont mind the s e x)

Bc even if they are an antagonist and it is harmful to many, why do people just take it away najdjejss-

and even then- gore stuff!! Holy hell you writing gore stuff for them? Heaven. Ofc only if you want to but im jus saying.. 👉👈 /gen

I whole ass appreciate the hell out of you and what youve done for the top/dom community (in both arcana,, and om apparently <3)

Yeah I do love the idea that valdemar has an aroace identity of some kind, I just don’t think they’d be completely adverse to romance/sex (they’d just do it in their own unique way)

Gore stuff!! Gore stuff!! Valdy was made for it tbh

Ty!! Ty!!! Top&dom reader content is scarce as it is but in otome it can be even harder

[mawklee]

this label discourse has been going on for so long so heres my small take. fag started as a neutral word with unrelated meaning and then it became a slur and since then it has been wholly reclaimed by some (!) communities and there are people who are more comfortable using that word to describe themselves than any other word. ofc theres no issue with that but it's still a slur that not everyone has reclaimed and it's obviously still a slur that can be used to hurt others.

it doesnt matter what anyone does for their own personal identity and community but it doesnt change the fact that queer is still a slur for many other people. too many people, both lgbt and cishet, have called me that word unprompted as if its negative connotation is just completely extinct in the year 2022. it's not. I'm not arguing that you need to stop using the word altogether but I AM saying we should stop normalizing using it to refer to the entire lgbt community. like god I'm so sick of seeing corporations throwing it around can we please just pull the plug on this already

[rein-ette]

Engport Thoughts:

Warnings: this ain’t fancy sh/t ok it’s just the stuff I yell in my own head at 4 AM and its hella long too

I don’t really vibe with the view that engport’s power dynamic is skewed in Arthur’s favour, and that Port somehow loves Arthur more than Arthur loves him. Yes, Port has his moments of doubt, and yes, politically speaking for the past two centuries England’s been more powerful and relevant on the world stage. But nowadays they’re not that different, and while Port did harbour some serious resentment in the 1800-1900s because he felt that Arthur wasn’t treating him like an equal, in the century they spent apart I think he realized how much of that feeling came from his own self-hatred and fears rather than Arthur’s actions.

Like yes, there was the period after Napoleon where England controlled Port’s affairs for a while, and ofc there was the ultimatum — but is the ultimatums importance not sometimes overstated? Even for its time it was a pretty minor disagreement with little political fallout. To me, the ultimatum is only important as the last straw that broke the camel's back—since the decline of the Portuguese empire began, slowly at first and more noticeably after 1800, Ports own worries and anger and fear grew, often exacerbated by comparisons with England. Arthur noticed, but could do nothing about it; he couldn’t well have sacrificed British interests to assuage Ports nebulous feeling of inadequacy, and even if he had Port would only have seen it as pity. In fact Arthur didn’t know how to deal with it at all, so he said nothing. It’s that feeling when a friend or loved one says to you “I don’t deserve you” (as a way of saying “I’m not good enough”, not “you’re really great”) -- how is one supposed to respond? As a nation and a man Portugal needed to redefine the source of his own value, and that wasn’t something Arthur could do for him.

Of course Arthur may not have made this process any easier; in the best of times Arthur is about as good at communicating complex and tangled emotions as a sea cucumber, and when you add in the growing ambition of the British people and the daily European squabbles and power shifts, it all becomes a mess. I honestly think Arthur probably made the best choice available to him by not addressing it in the 19th century — if he had tried, his abrasiveness and Ports extreme sensitivity on this issue would surely have blown up their relationship sooner than 1890. To illustrate the point that this wasn’t a “Arthur treats Gabi as an inferior” issue, consider if England had briefly directed French policy like they did Portuguese after the Napoleonic Wars. Francis would of course start squawking up a storm, but I don’t think Francis would feel like him and Arthur were no longer equals. France in fact went through a similar experience as Portugal but hyperspeed from 1940-1950 where they had to confront going from Great Power to “stfu ur only on this council cuz the US is in a good mood.” But Arthur and Francis had a stable relationship during this time, because Francis’s identity and self worth (as a man, not a nation) is less rigid and based upon “providing for others” and “being Europe’s sole supply of shiny and yummy things” than Port's was.

So yeah, my point is that Arthur treated Gabi in the 1800s like he had always treated him — and even being extra careful not to aggravate his insecurities. It was Gabriel that felt more and more inadequate, irrelevant, powerless, so that when an issue comes along like the Pink Map; boom, you got urself a self-esteem issue bath bomb. Note that I’m talking about Artie and Gabi's personal interactions, NOT England’s diplomatic treatment of Portugal. Of course as states England recognized Portugal's diminishing relevance -- if they didn't, that would mean the English foreign office was bad at their job. And Gabriel was certainly intelligent and experienced enough to appreciate this distinction between interpersonal and international relationships, which is also why Gabi didn’t seek an argument with Arthur before 1890, either. He knew it wasn’t Arthur’s fault that he felt the way he did, but the humiliation of the ultimatum hit too close to home and he exploded anyways.

One last thought about their power dynamic: on an emotional level, I feel like Gabi has more cards to play than Arthur. Gabi holds so much sway over Arthur’s emotional well-being that I often think about how bad it could get if Gabriel chose to abuse that power. Arthur himself has so many insecurities and traumas that it would be so easy for Gabi, who knows him so well, to exploit them, especially when Arthur’s pretty much been hardwired after 9 centuries to trust Gabi. I think Arthur’s logic goes something like, if I can’t trust Gabriel than theres truly no one in this world I can rely on, which makes it, uh, really easy for Gabi to gaslight him. Like, if he just said “no one will ever love you but me,” Artie would believe that shit. He’d be on guard if it came from anyone else, but if Gabi says it mf would f/in internalize it. “If you leave me you’ll be alone,” “no one can forgive you for what you’ve done, but I will,” “if you died no one will give a shit but me.” These are all things Arthur half believes already, so it’d be a piece of cake for someone as astute as Gabriel to push him over the edge (@needcake has a great fic here about dark!engport which explores this abuse of trust). I think Port is actually very aware of this and goes out of his way to avoid saying things like that, precisely because he knows how fragile Arthur’s mental health is and how much he needs to trust Gabi. Sometimes this can be a burden on Port, too, which results in him softening his stance or giving in when he should draw a clearer line because he’s scared he’ll aggravate Arthur's insecurities.

TLDR; PORT'S PROBLEMS ARE NOT ALL MADE IN ENGLAND, PORTUGAL HAS ITS OWN DOMESTIC INDUSTRY FOR MANUFACTURING ISSUES™, and they’re actually very soft on each other and careful with each other’s feelings. They’re trying so hard, but history doesn’t give out medals for effort.

[the-sappho-of-lesbos]

Just to say a few things about the aks someone send about being "deletable/relatable" and about lesbian culture: lesbian culture was created by lesbians that believe eberything avout ou socirty to be men made and meb centric (heteropatriarchy). Then, the lesbians, who lived among women only created their own spaces to survive, live and enjoy themselves. Their commom interestes was nothing more than to relate to each other, all of them had their own individuliaty, but they live in an collectiveness and they knew it. (and ofc almosy every lesbian were a part of feminists groups, either the women's liberation movement, black womeb liberation movement etc etc)

I myself agree with you and the person that send the ask in the way i dont see myself in whatever the lesbian community is at right now, the trends etc. Tiktok is so so bar i think, and theres this huge gap when you are not from the US, since everything from there we as exposed too. But yeah, theres a lesbian vanguard for us available, I like your tumblr so much bc its exactly it, somehow you make the lesbian voices from the past alive here, i adore you for it. And the fact you search for this type of material is already not isolating bc so many lesbian like me come here for this especificlly. Lesbian culture still exists, its harder now bc of social media I believe and the state that the world is right now and ofc we somewhat lost the collective feeling of a community :( which makes everything even more isolating for us....

But anyways, just toughts you can even not answer it if you dont want to!

Thank you so much for contributing this to the conversation!! I really appreciate it! I don’t know if I have a lot to add though because you pretty much covered everything!

And you are so right. Circumstances have fully changed how what the lesbian community is. It’s funny though you saying that reminded me of that one comic strip by Alison Bechdel (I think it was from Dykes To Watch Out For) where one of the characters was talking about how when she showed up the lgbt scene wasn’t what it once was and how she missed out - yet many people nowadays would say the same thing about that time period. I think it’s so easy to wish for things to be what they once were, especially if you yourself (not necessarily you, just people in general aha ) haven’t lived through it. Humans seem to have a track record of romanticising the past. Especially when they feel out of place in the present.

Also that is such a beautiful and kind thing to say about my tumblr 🥺 I could cry. I really appreciate you taking the time to say that. I’m so happy and grateful I’ve been able to cultivate a small place in this corner of the internet for people to feel seen and happy in their identities and personhood. It means a lot to me and I promise to try my best to keep it up!!

Thank you again so much for popping in and saying such lovely things. I hope you have a great and beautiful day 💖💕🌻

[yaizl]

hi- what’s an f/o? like, what’s it stand for?

oh hello!! boy do i got an infodump for you

so basically-- an f/o in long is a "fictional other". generally this refers to the fictional character in a relationship between said character and the real person that gained feelings for them, and its very prominent in the selfshipping community. think of it like the sans fangirl epidemic from 2015-2017 but minus the toxicity and gatekeeping

f/os arent only for selfshipping though-- they can also refer to subgenres such as "platonic f/os" (characters that are basically your imaginary friends) and "familial f/os" (characters that you regard as family-figures, like parents, siblings, grandparents, etc.) theres probably other subgenres out there that i havent exactly heard of though.

of course, this isnt to be confused with waifuism, aka people that consider themselves to be in relationships with anime characters (predominantly cishet men that think theyre married to anime girls) because unlike selfshipping, waifuism generally has a more delusional undertone to it along with a lot more toxicity in that community (discouraging polyamory, the community being prominent with loli/shotacon and overall fetishization, and discouraging casual or "comfort/therapudic" involvement with your fictional partner since you have to be completely devoted to them)

the selfshipping community is a more lenient and encouraging community that lets you selfship with whoever you want, no matter how casual or devoted you are, and no matter your orientation and identity. :) that is ofc unless youre a proshipper/anti-anti and you selfship with an underaged character when youre an adult or if you try to make the selfship seem incestuous, thats when some problems start to come up

tl;dr, f/os are "fictional others" that you consider yourself to be in a relationship with (but not always literally), whether it be romantic, sexual, platonic, or familial.

[transgenderer]

as a gnc cis dude under 30 I can definitely say that there are a lot more "weird culty" trans women out there than you might notice if they aren't trying to evangelize transness to you specifically. it's sort of like not realizing your friends are racist because you're white and they don't act racist around you.

anything remotely related to the idea of "trans eggs" and trans women who have self-appointed themselves as experts in spotting "eggs" definitely fits the category of "weird culty shit" in my opinion - they've got a whole reddit community even where they assume anyone who doesn't like having body hair and cares about their appearance is just "an egg who hasn't hatched yet." It's honestly kinda sad and makes you wonder if they're really trans - they're so caught up in justifying their transness with external characteristics and acting hostile to any gnc man who insists that they aren't trans that you wonder who they're really trying to convince. Like, if you have to insist you always knew you were trans but also you have do constantly point to all these characteristics that "make you trans" to eliminate self-doubt... are you really trans to begin with?

(Not saying any of that applies to you, transgenderer, ofc - because you don't act like that)

okay so like. firstable i think trans women are genuinely weirdly strongly inclined to be weird culty types, like, it doesnt happen THAT often but there arent that many trans women, so its a lot, off the top of my head i can think of monetizeyourcat and ziz, and like, i dont even follow trans drama closely. so yeah, thats fair

but then with the whole egg thing....its complicated. so like, ime online dating as a trans woman, you end up talking to a lot of dudes (or yknow. maybe not dudes forever. but currently dude-identifying) who pretty clearly like, have some really confusing gender feelings going on, like, its A Lot. eggs (or people on the edge of being eggs, or whatever) i think often seek out trans women, because theyre confused, and theres some sense that talking with a trans woman will resolve.

i think egg-spotting is sort of an unhealthy way to think of other people but like, idk, i get it. i think actively trying to convince people theyre eggs is bonkers tho. i also think theres definitely a thing where newly-realized trans people need exterior social support in their identity, because like, its such a huge internal shift, and theres going to be competing access needs between people who need a gentle introduction to the possibility they might be trans and people who need comfort about like, the validity or whatever of their new identity.

[wyslyyzr]

since django and marya were romani, it occurred to me that if pietro and wanda have any attachment to their jewish heritage, its something they’d have to discover later in their lives--and something they definitely couldnt ‘escape’ if they have any relationship with erik, as his identity as a jewish man is exceptionally important to him; he observes most holidays and traditions, keeps mostly kosher, etc. he loves who he is and he would want to pass that part of himself onto his children as well--not out of selfishness or greed, but because judaism is in large about community and the love we share together. 

theres an interesting point: that his grandchildren, billy and tommy and luna, might actually be more observant of jewish holidays and customs than their parents are, if only because they’d have had erik in their lives since infancy, whereas wanda and pietro were denied that by unfortunate circumstance. 

(i would wager wanda is more willing to create a relationship with her father--especially given that she seems to lament that they werent a family from the get go, whereas pietro just seemed angry--so maybe less so with wanda, but there’d still be a dissonance.) 

the kids know when shavuot is coming and start putting flowers around the house and it only dawns on pietro and wanda when they ask if they can have some ice cream for shavuot what they were doing to begin with. or grandpa comes by and gives them chanukkah gelt (during the appropriate time ofc) and always gently--almost playfully--teases his children about not being particularly festive. 

no matter how they feel about him, he always does make this aspect of himself, and them, warm and comfortable and good. they always are a family at holidays and observances.