#you shouldnt be trying to be [identity]]

[redysetdare]

I think i just need to express that the culture surrounding QPRs right now made me think that i couldn't have strong bonds with my friends. Society told me i cant have strong bonds with friends because that was only for romantic relationships. Then i went into aro spaces and this idea was reinforced using QPRs instead of romantic relationships. it was "You can still have strong bonds with people without romance! It can just be a QPR instead!" "QPRs are MORE than friendship so you can have STRONGER BONDS than you would with friends."

it made me think that the relationships i wanted with my friends HAD to be something other than friendship for it to be as strong as i wanted. If i wanted to be the first person in someones life i had to enter some sort of committed relationship. if I wanted someone to care about me as strongly as i did them then it would have to be a relationship that was "more" than friendship.

I thought I wanted a QPR because i was told the only way to get that care and security that I wanted was to enter into a relationship that was "more" than friendship. because friends didn't care that much. because friends didn't live together their entire lives. because friends were never the priority relationship wise. and it took me years to realize that i didn't want any partnership and i shouldn't have to be in one to want these things from a friend. these things CAN be something friends can do. but i found that out on my own. because the aro community kept saying "you want a QPR" when i just wanted a friend who finally saw me as a priority in their life.

[decolonize-the-everything]

"okay but don't call us Nazis!" has got to be the wildest fucking request

I'm dead over this frfr. "Yeah I'm a white supremacist, but I'm not like those ones. My brand of white supremacy doesn't focus on hurting Jewish ppl cuz we arent evil; please mind the difference 💁‍♀️"

Or what exactly? Your identity as a different kind of white supremacist is gonna be invalidated???

[the-pea-and-the-sun]

sry to engage w goofy ass discourse but im kinda tired of seeing the phrase "afab intersex people used as a gotcha" abt ppl who dont like phrases like tma and tme like. i dont think thats whats happening man ur talking like intersex ppl arent actively on the site and talking abt their own experiences we're not using ourselves as a gotcha. like a lot of intersex ppl r talking abt it themselves u dont gotta keep pretending we're a fringe hypothetical case. intersex ppl are just often not included in these types of conversations and applying a label to someone based on their agab is fucked up no matter what its just more obvious when you're an intersex person and you know that sex is not binary and your agab doesnt reveal some intrinsic truth abt ur biology or identity

[thescreamcorner]

probably a take that a LOT of people are going to be angry about but I'm gonna preface with: I'm speaking on a general trend I've seen in online spaces, and my thoughts on it are not a direct callout to anyone nor an inherent indicator of if someone's DID is "real" or "fake."

but like. the way that some people will use public spaces to "chat intra-system" is so wild and even at times uncomfortable as fuck, if nothing else it's pretty wildly unsafe because like you have NO IDEA who's reading what you're writing out. Having a private discord server or a journal or a notes app or something is a much safer way to facilitate that kind of thing.

that and lowkey..... sometimes ppl doing it in public or actively sharing screenshots of it on tumblr like it's some "the group chat going wild tonight" type content just feels. So much like roleplay. It skeeves me out a bit. I know in my heart that generally using a space to try and communicate with other parts of the system is a healthy coping mechanism that a lot of therapists recommend but so many times that I see that posted it feels like that meaning and healing has been lost and in some cases borders on roleplaying or content farming and it makes me so uncomfortable

[stellaralignment]

How close can you get to the edge of a cliff without being afraid of falling?

If you don't know the height of the cliff, it really depends on your personality. Some might be bold, others cautious. This can be shaped by your experiences, those who have fallen and been injured might treat an apparent drop with more respect.

But circumstances are also important to remember. You might prefer to run off the cliff, regardless of the consequences, if you're being chased or attacked. The cliff face actively giving way and falling might push you back, or spur you towards it in an attempt to save a falling friend.

And all this is regardless of the height of the cliff! If you approach and note the way down, your decision might change. If it turns out to not be a cliff at all but a gently sloping hill, you could continue onwards. Or decide the path isnt where you wanted to go after all and simply turn around.

But for some, the cliff is insurmountable. A sheer or spiked face of immeasurable height. A dreadfully difficult or simply time consuming and exhausting ordeal to attempt to traverse. No matter how desperately they wish to arrive at their destination.

All this to say, there's innumerable reasons why one might transition. There's infinite obstacles or justifications for someone to not. At the end of the day, everyone had their own unique path and is simply struggling to arrive at the place/identity where they feel most comfortable.

Some may not have the opportunity to get there.

But each and every single one of us is valid and is entitled to whatever identity is claimed. Whenever the individual claims it. Instantly. Without penalty or judgment if the same decides to claim another simoultaneously or in replacement of the first chosen identity.

The right to self determination is one all should be allowed to enjoy

stop gatekeeping identities and labels

[rouge-the-bat]

"you cant use this term for your identity, it started as a slur!" never forget pretty much all queer terms are written in blood. call yourself anything and everything, dont just hand over our terminology to queerphobes and let them own it. take it from them and plaster it on our own shields and weapons

[dunadaan]

what does the academiacore fandom or w/e do when like. you're done with school. when you finish college/university and you're no longer studying or at the dorms or campuses. like you can't do that forever (for most people) so what do u do when this identity you've cultivated is no longer viable

[snekdood]

Ill probably never know if i have native american in me and even if i did find out i probably wouldnt be welcome but even if its not true thats not going to stop me from respecting the land and the native people who have come before me and to try to make them proud in the best way i can. I want them to know that someone cares, idk.

[talkorsomething]

ok yeah . I still wanna look like him

[f4y3w00d5]

This case is making me so fucking angry. theyre using common transphobic language, and also theyre not even HIDING their BLATANT FUCKING TRANSPHOBIA-

Wanna see the poster that made me aware of this current bullshit going on?

The second paragraph. 'Roxy Tickle is a man that wants to be a woman.' Okay, well a simple google search says shes transgender. Going a bit more in depth? She has done Three years of hormone therapy and gender reaffirmation surgery. Like this isnt a transgender woman who has done nothing to change her identity, she's got surgery and 3 years of hormone therapy! And looking more into it? She has said;

"I am now legally a woman.

“I am already allowed to have a female gendered passport thanks to the letter from my GP confirming that they are treating me.

“I only have one step left - to update my birth certificate to say that I’m female.

“I needed two medical specialists saying they have seen my genitals and they both needed to sign a form in the presence of a JP.

"These are the most extreme levels of identity proof I’ve ever come across – to have to show your genitals to an MD is embarrassing to prove who you are. The documentation has all now been completed and I will mail it this weekend."

That was all 4 years ago. 7 years of this shit now. (as of today, april 11th, 2024)

And the poster still refers to her as a he?

And thats the picture they use. Now heres a better one.

That was deliberate. They used an unflattering photo of her, and a very flattering one of Sall, just to try and tip people to Salls side. Common marketing ploy.

More research shows that she now has her birth certificate identifying her as female.

And this isnt enough?

By her logic, shouldnt a trans man be allowed on giggle, no matter how far through transitioning they are, purely because they were born female? I get the feeling that she would say no. This is simply blatant transphobia. Personally, I cant do anything, being a minor. I'm not sure how far this case is along, seeing as it started 2 days ago.

But I simply cant let this slide. When I saw it this afternoon it made me so fucking angry.

This case could change a lot of things. Make a lot of changes that make everything far worse for non cis gendered people, potentially influencing things world wide

[c0mbatchameleon]

@jegulus-microfic April 21st, prompt: run, words: 1160, nsfw

aka regulus comes until he cries? that’s basically it yeah (+t4t jeg)

He shouldn’t cry.

It’s what Regulus has heard since—well, as early as he can remember. Crying is a vulnerability he can’t afford, a sign of weakness, and the Black family are anything but weak. Don’t be a baby, they’d say—to the literal fucking baby.

The last time Regulus cried was when he was 7 years old, he thinks—his mother certainly made sure he never did it again. And even long after he left that house behind, left his family and everything they stand for, found a new family, found a new home and new self unrestrained by hatred and abuse, transitioned, finally became comfortable with himself, his identity—after all of it, this is what he’s held onto. The belief that he shouldnt cry.

At least, it was what he held onto.

Now, as Regulus finds himself bent over the kitchen counter, nails dragging down the cool granite that he’s pressed flush against, he’s beginning to think crying isn’t so bad after all.

The tears started falling after his second consecutive orgasm, streaming freely down his face as he convulsed around James’ strap. James only slowed his thrusts to something deep and drawn out as he leaned forward and cooed, “That’s it baby, let it out,” hot breath cascading down Regulus’s ear and neck, hand stroking his hair gently. Languid kisses pressed down his neck and shoulder as he twitched and softly gasped in overstimulation.

He barely got a chance to catch his breath before—

“How ‘bout one more for me, yeah?” And just like that, James was drawing out and ramming back into him with a brutal pace. Regulus let out a choked gasp as his vision whited out, back arching, legs shaking. All he could respond was a tear-streaked string of oh fuck oh fuck oh fu—ah—please as James continued chanting soft praise and encouragement, railing him into a new fucking plane of existence.

That leaves him here, hurtling head first towards a third orgasm and choking on intermittent sobs and moans in rhythm with James’ thrusts. Each one is hitting that spot that sends a line of white-hot electricity up his navel, fraying his nerves until his entire body feels like an exposed wire. His hands grab for purchase on the countertop, unsuccessfully, as he tries to drag himself up, away, anywhere to put distance between himself and the onslaught of pleasure-pain that’s spreading like a fire across his whole body.

But James only digs his hand into Regulus’ curls and pulls, the other wrapped around the front of him so Regulus’ cock grinds into it with each movement of their hips. “Where are you trying to run off to, love?” he teases as his grip tightens and holds Regulus in place.

“Oh fuck— I can’t—“ Regulus’ own moan cuts him off, loud and lacking shame. “S’too much,” he whines.

“But you love it, don’t you?” Soft lips trace up behind his ear. “You don’t want me to stop, love, do you?” Regulus’ eyes roll back into his head. The hand presses down further on his cock and another sob escapes him. “C’mon, tell me how much you love it when I take you apart like this,” James coaxes, pulling him up further by his hair so that he has to balance on his forearms, his head falling back.

And, here, in this state of over-saturated, pure white static bliss where Regulus can barely distinguish reality, the world around him, anything other than James’ hands and James’ lips and James’ sweet-honey voice and James and James and James, the only thought he can form amidst the haze is the one James has supplied for him so graciously, so giving as always: that he loves it.

You love it, don’t you?

And Regulus does.

He loves having his walls taken down, brick by brick until he’s bare, surrendered to pleasure and to release. God, he fucking loves this release. The kind he never allowed himself before, the way it washes over his whole body and builds up like a dam, the way it flows in and out of him, completely open, running rivers down his face and sending shocks out from his core, chest heaving, bones melting, transcending his own body and yet more grounded in it than he’s ever been. He’s nothing but skin and shaking muscle and neuron and nerve ending and pure, unfiltered feeling, and, yes, he loves it. So, he does what he’s told and voices it, let’s it flow out of him like the rest of the dam, frantic and breathless.

“I love it, I—ah—oh—I love it, I love it I love it I—fuck—“

“That’s good, that’s right, fuck, you’re doing so well, baby. You look so pretty when you cry like this” James praises, breathless now, tone soaked in awe and pure adoration as he watches Regulus repeat the phrase like a mantra, an oath, a prayer, the words melting together to the point of near incoherence: I love it I love it Iloveitloveitloveitloveloveitloveit.

“That’s it, I know, baby,” he tugs on Regulus’ curls again, pulling him up against his chest. The new angle makes his cock drive deeper into Regulus, drawing a strangled moan out between his quick, gasping breaths. “Why don’t you show me how much?”

His fingers move in quick circles on Regulus’ cock, other arm wrapping around his shoulders to hold him up. “C’mon, let go for me one more time, Star.”

The simple order is all it takes. When Regulus comes, it’s with stars behind his eyes and tears flowing freely and a scream tearing through him, head hanging back on James’ shoulder, back bowed, clenching down on silicone as shudders rack through his body in waves. James works him through it with a slew of there you go and so good for me and so perfect and show me how good it feels, baby, that’s it.

He collapses back onto James, boneless, and breathes. Shakily. James squeezes him tight. All that concentrated flame has simmered and spread out into something soft and warm and buzzing all throughout his body. A small whimper escapes at the feeling of James pulling out, his core still throbbing around nothing.

James scoops him up easily, laying him down gently on the couch in the next room, and kneels down to cradle his face with his hands.

“Okay?” he asks softly, kissing Regulus’ forehead.

Regulus keeps his eyes closed and smiles in delirious dream-state bliss, just barely aware that he’s still sniffling. “Love it,” he mumbles, and James snorts as his thumbs swipe back and forth under his eyes. His head is still cloudy, his body floating somewhere with it. “Love you,” he adds dazedly.

“Always so sweet after you come,” James remarks. “Think if I get you to five next time you’d propose to me after?”

If Regulus had the energy, he’d roll his eyes. Instead, he reaches out and runs his hand through James’ hair, down the back of his neck, along the scars on his chest, down his arm where he grabs his hand and pulls it into his own chest, body curling around it like he’s hoarding it. James doesn’t seem to mind. “We’re already married, James,” Regulus mumbles. “I literally proposed.”

James chuckles softly, fondly. “I love you, too, Star.”

[slavonicrhapsody]

personally i always interpreted the golden order greatsword as radagon wanting to keep renalla with him. the fact that its a moonlight greatsword, and how that tidbit isnt confirmed until the end of the item description, almost gives it a kind of "hiding behind the back" kind of vibe, like its a memento radagon shouldnt be holding onto but found a way to take with him anyways. given that in the queens bedchamber melina dialogue, marika refers to him as a leal hound of the order with a tone of disdain, and how he "hadnt yet become her", i personally get the vibe that radagon felt that whatever he had to sacrifice (his family, his wife, his self) for the golden order was worth it, with a kind of resigned determination ala I Wish I Didnt Have To Do This (hence marikas disdain cuz she doesnt think he HAS to, its just convenient for her plans+the schemes of the greater will)

my general impression of radagon is someone who loved renalla deeply and genuinely, and tried to take some small part of their marriage with him in the golden order greatsword, and was willing to make small steps out of line to try and keep that love present (giving renalla the amber egg with a GREAT RUNE INSIDE, one that judging by design wouldve gone to his son miquella since its similar to malenias, using the moonlight greatsword to become the golden order greatsword instead of making a new one), and someone who repeatedly tries to Do Whats Right For The World by sacrificing his own desires, and that makes the fact that all of his decisions led to heartbreak and pain in his loved ones more poignant and impactful. like hey man. you uh. didnt HAVE to drop everything to go be elden lord. didnt HAVE to leave ur family. now you cant ever get that back and its ur own damn fault buddy now ur bicon of a son is getting rly into snakekeeping and blasphemy and graffiti-ing ur Associated Symbols onto everything he feels would piss u off and ur never getting invited to radahns graduation from sellia academy of star murder. you uh. you did that buddy! you shot urself in the foot!

this is so late sorry, but yeah I really like this interpretation. like I said in my prev post I feel like Radagon forging Rennala’s marriage gift into a Golden Order greatsword can be interpreted as a way of carrying a part of her with him, even as he leaves her behind and forges ahead on his way to serve the Golden Order. Radagon has never viewed his time with Rennala with any scorn or regret; in fact, the things Rennala taught him during his time with her were very formative to his identity and beliefs:

“As the husband of Rennala of Caria, the red-haired Radagon studied sorcery, and as the husband of Queen Marika, he studied incantations. Thus did the hero aspire to be complete.”

The forging of Radagon’s greatsword kind of goes with this theme of Radagon cherishing what he had with Rennala, but ultimately deciding to move on to a greater purpose, using what he gained as Rennala’s husband as an integral part of his path forward. Perhaps even, based on the idea that Radagon “aspired to be complete,” he felt like he wasn’t a whole person, that he was missing something? That, though he loved Rennala, he couldn’t give himself fully to her? That he would leave Rennala behind if it meant getting a chance to feel whole?

Anyway, I completely agree that Radagon making the conscious decision to leave Rennala, despite having this love and respect for her, makes for a much more tragic and impactful story than Radagon not having any agency. What he did was shocking, inconceivable, and gravely disrespectful, not just to Rennala, but to all of Caria. And I think it’s almost certain that Radagon’s decision led to resentment amongst his children, sowing the seeds of their future rebellions against his Order… as Miriel says, when telling us Radagon and Rennala’s story, “You would do well to remember... Severing a vow, strongest of bonds, has consequences ever more dire". It’s just good storytelling!!!

[livinahey]

aaaaaastrobs-essions (jk) .・゜゜・

---

i'm back :)

.・。.・゜✭・.・。.・゜✭・»»————>

if you struggling with low self esteem go to fire sun/earth mars/venus in angles (1h/4h/7h/10). They will cheer you up and remind you that you deserve fine things in life 💅✨🧚‍♀️ just dont fake your insecurities to them or theyll disgusted by you

speak of self esteem, someone that have their asteroid medusa (149) in your 2nd are the one that silently judge and mock you. the one that try to attack your self esteem. the one that underestimate you; and will start to think "whats cool about them?" if you get great achievement in life. EVEN think that you dont deserve that and it should be them because they think theyre way much better than you 😹😹 what a bitch. beware of them try to steal your great things as a result ‼️😒👹💥💥

asteroid nemesis (128) in house shows ab whats hurt you then you develop animosity/hatred to it, check the theme of the house

1h - hatred towards self identity, hatred towards how people see you, you can hate your looks :(

2h - hatred towards possessions. You may lacks of material possessions, feel less than others in that area and you hate it

3h - hatred towards sibling, neighbor

4h - hatred towards family

5h - hatred towards "spotlight", flings, drama, childlike spirit

6h - hatred towards coworker, health (you may feel youre less healthy than others)

7h - hatred towards partner (✋💀💀), partnership itself. you likely wanna do everything alone

8h - hatred towards mystery. you hate it when someone hides something from you, not clear ab something, keeping something from you, being secretive

9h - hatred towards um.... tw religions. sorry you probably hate particular beliefs. hatred towards travelling, inlaws are also possible

10h - hatred towards public image, fame. you can hate public figures, famous person 😹😹 (im laughing because yeah we all know public figure often are not what they show on the media aka theyre fake)

11h - hatred towards friend, hatred towards what you see on internet. can be indicator of someone that dont like to use social media, or you give hate speech/comments on social media

12h - hatred towards whats "out of reach"

cardinal moons are pure souls that surrounded by "darkness". they can easily influenced by negativity from their surrounding so they MUST, i say MUST to keep good ppl around them or....bye (aka they can turn themselves into the evil)

what's with sag venus and having interest in things that they shouldnt be interested to

taurus women have this fiery strong badass facade to them, while the men looks like cute puppy (and wise???) lmao (for sun moon mars)

mutable mercury in first decan (0°-9°) why are you like to lie for no reason. are prone to say what they dont really mean. go seek better hobbies!

some of leo sun men are gay but they hide it by having love relationship with women... that's very weird (and irritating) of you

undeveloped earth venus only falls for/want to dating popular goodlooking mf even if in personality wise theyre not that best and it can leads to unfulfilling relationship 💁‍♀️

talk ab earth venus, i see them always fall for fixed sign venus (no im not referring them fixed venus as bad one that i mentioned above)

developed earth venus? they dont need to be with someone to increase their status, they simply being the (true) great person they are 🤩 (they know how to and do get the good life by themselves!!)

what i like ab fire moon is theyre so passionate but sometimes it can be too passionate where it leads to them making unnecessary drama 😭😭

water suns are prone to being delusional 😹😹

air venus stop giving mixed signals

i cant help but think ab where sagittarius in your chart shows what's "wild", "crazy" about you. thats why pluto in sag generations being seen as scary bcs the power (pluto rules ab power) they have.... 😹😹

moon-neptune aspects 🤝 say something then regret it

libra big 6 placements 🤝 attract petty ppl (and then get attacked, being seen as bad one when they just want to defend/protect themselves :()

undeveloped fixed moon 🤝 being petty

pluto in earth house (2h/6h/10h) are the brat but loved lmao

aqua mars 🤝 makes ppl amazed

air sign jupiter give the vibes of unstoppable teenagers (in a good way). see blackpink lisa (aqua jupiter), nct jaemin (gemini jupiter), newjeans hanni (libra jupiter), or another air sign jupiter you know! 😉

saturn-sun aspect are prone to experience unexpected loss :(

there's nothing more i hate in synastry than squaring to venus aspect... bc i feel unwanted there 🧍‍♀️🪓

[pastadoughie]

can non intersex trans people please stop putting intersexism and bio essentialism shit on my dash like??? all the time???

whenever i try to talk about nuance in transphobia and point out blatant intersexism i am simultaneously made out to be a stupid naive little bitch woman who doesnt know what shes talking about and an evil misogynistic man when i am neither. its textbook erasure and dehumanization no matter how polite and understanding i try to be. and i am talking SPECIFICALLY about trans people. often because perisex trans people are WORSE at recognizing and correcting their intersexism because they view themselves as "above" bioessentialism for their transness,,, its honestly tiring

the way sexism presents is the fundamental idea that :

women by default have LESS agency

and men by default have MORE agency

i feel like i shouldnt have to tell you that this is dehumanization of BOTH, but ill do it anyway. someones agency in a given situation depends on a VARIETY of different factors, like class / race / disability / location / & the political views of the community they are in

moreover "man" and "woman" are not actually defined terms. for example, being a victim of misogyny has ZERO correlation to whether or not you are a woman, in BOTH ways that people categorize womanhood. either as a biological trait (or a collection of traits) or as an identity label

if you get catcalled on the street that is not because you ARE a woman but because you are PERCEIVED AS ONE by the catcaller. someones profiling of you as a woman being accurate DOESNT MEAN IT ISNT PROFILING. literally NOBODY has a chromosome detector 3000.

so many forms of gender based discrimination perpetrated in the queer community COMPLETELY skip over these nuances in discrimination and often get EXTREMELY ANGRY when you try to point them out! this is often because people have this inherent belief that they are somehow transcendent and that they DO magically have a chromosome detector 3000, that their profiling is magically always correct, and this belief is tied to their ego.

moreover people mischaracterize sexism as just "hating women" and NOT actually as "sorting people arbitrarily into boxes for their perceived genders", if you are a TERF you are EXACTLY THE SAME AMOUNT OF SEXIST as someone who believes women shouldnt be allowed to vote. they still hold the fundamental idea of men by default having more agency.

i think TERFism is a wonderful example of how people can be sexist against men and the harm that it causes, because that is the ideological core of radfem politics.

people perceived as "male" when placed in a community full of people seen as "female" are automatically seen as predatory for their perceived privilege (regardless of if those privileges actually apply in that setting at all! look at transfemmes! they get literally zero benefits from their perceived manhood, and yet are still seen as predatory because of it ). when i speak about "misandry" however loaded the word is- this is what i am referring to, the assumptions and discrimination that comes from being arbitrarily placed in a gender category seen as having universally more agency.

because agency isnt innate or biological this sorting into categories is ALWAYS sexism even if they benefit the person!!

this is why i think phrases like "TME" are inherently harmful, because weather or not someone is seen as a "man" or a "woman" is completely arbitrary and can differ wildly depending on not only the person doing the profiling, but also the context of the situation. trans-misogyny, being seen as a "man" trying to "invade" a "womans space" is not exclusive to transfemmes nor even universally applies TO transfemmes.

moreover its why i hate the word "trans-androphobia" because its not even descriptive of the perception of being a "girl" trying to be a "man"

i think in general the shorthand the trans community uses lacks so much fucking nuance and is baked in with intersexism and bio essentialism  pretty much as a rule.. i think it's infinitely more clear to use words corresponding to what exactly the profiling of whoever is being bigoted is far more helpful and clear, but in order for something like that to be clear it needs to actually be used with nuance and keeping in mind the fact that discrimination is based on PROFILING and not off of any kind of objective reality. In which words that just mean "the type of discrimination transmen go through" is ambiguous and unhelpful on every level.

if you wanna be less intersexist YOU NEED TO LET GO of the idea that certain people universally have more/less agency AS WELL AS THE IDEA that you are universally exempt from or included in any kind of gender based discrimination

[exitwound]

Maybe think about why you care so much about calling gerard way a woman to the extent that you equate it as the only correct way to engage with their work, as if art as well as support for the trans community can’t have value by itself, as if that isn’t the point, not their literal personal internal experience of gender that’s no one’s business, the same way trying to decide if anyone is trans is not your business if that person doesn’t want to tell you or talk about it with you, because it’s gender essentialist, and why it’s so baffling to you that a celebrity in general but especially gerard way might want to avoid labels or this specific type of intrusive categorization , as they have explicitly stated as well as created music that is about the same thing. And shouldnt we live in a world where someone can present gnc, and talk about experiences with gender and with femininity in honest ways, without people not just obsessing over whether that means they’re “really a woman” but outright deciding, and acting like they are. That’s a narrow fucking definition of womanhood. And shouldn't we value that authenticity from people who don’t want to choose a label as much as we do from people who identify in ways they do choose to label, (labels or the lack of btw have never been individual terms but tools for relating or not relating ourselves to the world in specific ways,) Isn’t that a better more open and beautiful mode of creating relationships to each other? Why does gerard need to be a woman to you? Why are you so obsessed with this? Why is transness and queerness and gender nonconformity itself, to you, some kind of item, an object or artifact for distribution upon others — and it is not in fact “creating cisnormativity” to accept the way a person wants to relate their identity to an audience. There are lots of trans women and transfeminine people who are doing everything gerard way is doing for transness and much more. If you want to call someone a woman go call a woman a woman. If you want to celebrate trans joy go celebrate trans joy. Please by all means do I will celebrate with you I am celebrating with you and I am doing it while listening to my chemical romance. So what’s the point in acting like this. I really don't get it. But it concerns me because this isn't the only time I've witnessed this kind of attitude and although its well-intentioned and "playful" its ultimately weird, ultimately harmful. So honestly, if this really feels "low-stakes" to you it might be because you've never dealt with the kinds of situations where the stakes exist, or considered the perspective of someone who has a different relationship to the stakes of your argument than you do.

Because not to be dramatic, but these stakes are the same stakes relevant to the literal record numbers of legislation currently being passed in the US using bioessentialism and gender essentialism to install systems of state-controlled gender-enforcing and forced gendering of trans and non-trans gnc children in schools and in healthcare. What you're doing is, if on a small scale, still contributing to the same conceptualization of gender as these laws, and as the people who passed them, even if you're well intentioned and hate the laws, even if your beliefs are reversed, the framework is the same, and that framework is going to empower the dominant culture, not yours. That's how power works. Which is why it's stupid. It's literally just stupid. And it hurts trans people who have had experiences in the real world where people are just as intrusive as you are being about trying to interpret their gender, and you’re no different for trying to clock people. If you don't know the stakes of your words, you should learn them before you use those words. Just because you're in a bubble of people who agree with you and think this is just about being either "right" or "wrong" about gerard way's gender and wanting to be "right" doesn't dismiss you from the meaning of the actual words you are saying and the ideologies informing your beliefs, whether or not you're aware of them, because the rest of us aren't trying to be right, we're not living in a this-or-that world in the first place. Personally I don't know them. I've appreciated & engaged with what they have said about their experiences with gender as well as their art while also respecting their statements about not liking labels, and treated their silence on their own identity as intentional, because I like knowing what words, and the absences of words, mean

[olderthannetfic]

Oh great, everyone is all in on the ~all the kids who think they have DID are wrroooong~ thing.

Im sorry but none of you saying that are helping the community or plural folks as a whole. Even if you are also a system or have a CDD.

For DID *alone* the barrier to diagnosis is very high- arguably as high as Autism and according to one study it takes an average of 10 years in therapy to be diagnosed because so many doctors are ill-informed or refuse to diagnose it/believe it exists despite all the evidence due to the shadow of the satanic panic. The goddamn REASON people are diagnosed in their 30s and 40s isnt because you *need* to wait that long its because they look for horses before zebras and refuse to do anything else most of the time and fuck us over!!! Many of us report symptoms -the same fucking symptoms- since teen&young adult age or earlier!!!

The diagnosis has many of the same drawbacks of any other major diagnosis like autism and schizospec stuff where you can lose custody of children or the ability to adopt, face unofficial discrimination from doctors or employers or people you try to get accommodations from with it, and could even have your drivers license taken away or have to jump through hoops to keep it- and more issues!

Pursuing a paper diagnosis is not for everyone and the plural community for decades has been built on this- even before the exclusion criteria were added to the DSM and ICD that kicked a huge chunk of us of us off even getting one despite being systems (which is a good thing to be clear! If its not impairing or distressing it shouldnt be pathologized!). We have folk therapy and dyi resources and we have a lot of them for a reason.

And thats not even getting into how therapy has historically severely abused our community and how the only accepted treatment path is pursuing the fusion into one person (which has a hilariously low success rate that for anything else wouldnt be accepted as a vaild treatment) and not everyone wants that or is helped by that.

Most of us are never going to be ABLE see useful therapy or a paper dx, so we use the community to find resources and community and it FUCKING WORKS. We built our community with our own blood, sweat, and tears because no one else could or would fucking help us. And it WORKS.

Attacking these people who self-dx ONLY ever causes splash damage on the very people this kind of behavior claims to protect.

And like. If someone reports an autonomous entity that talks in their mind and takes over their body sometimes its... rather obvious they belong in the 'having an autonomous entity that talks in your mind and takes over your body sometimes' community regardless of anything else. NB4 people say psychosis; Schneiderian First-Rank symptoms are actually more indicative of DID than schizophrenia in this manner according to studies- but schizospec people with persistent personlike voices are known to benefit from the same exercises you'd do if they were ''''real'''' alters and are included in the plural community anyway (which btw doesnt require a dx- calling yourself plural or a system is not self diagnosing its an identity label the community created OUTSIDE of diagnosis criteria FOR this very purpose of self-ID).

While yes, we would agree many people say DID For Sure when they might want to hesitate there- we do NOT doubt they are plural. We just wonder if they were told the ONLY way they could be plural/a system is through DID and that is why they are saying they have it. Which... yeah thats not so great. HOWEVER informed self-dx is fine provided they havent been fed that kind of misinformation.

The solution there though is to just spread the real information about the breadth of plural experiences and people will feel less pressured. Simple as that.

Never EVER telling them its really just something else, you dont know yourself- you cant know something that extreme when something that extreme is EASIER to tell tbh because its such a unique and intense experience.

--