#and ok hear me out in summer i am gonna wash my hair more often bc of the heat plus all the beach trips and road trips and travel etc

[kaidabakugou]

random question, have any of you guys painted your hair bright pink? and if so how does it fade? like does it fade into a lighter pink or does it turn more peachy?

[thisaccisdead]

montreal - roman hurt/comfort

pairing: this was written to all be platonic prinxiety, but can definitely be interpreted romantically !

warnings: unconventional self harm, non-graphic descriptions of wounds/injury

summary: a post-POF roman hurt/comfort fic in january 2021? yes <3

word count: 3.2k

notes: large portions of this were salvaged from one (1) night last summer at 4am when i was having a . time. the rest has been mainly recently written before i go to bed, with some extra bits added during my history classes B)) also shout out to [REDACTED]. u may not read this but if u do, i hope u know who u are & ilu

Virgil had been trying to calm himself down for the better part of an hour, as soon as they got back from the wedding fiasco; and he was doing a relatively okay job. Considering the circumstances, at least. Or so he thought, when he registered a spike in Thomas’s anxiety. This only served to make Virgil more anxious, because he had thought he had been doing well—until, he realized it wasn’t anxiety, not exactly, not fully—and it wasn’t coming from him.

Once he'd figured that out, it wasn't hard to trace the feeling to the imagination. He paused at the door. If this was where the strongest negative emotions were coming from, he already knew which side this was about. And could he really be surprised? Roman had wanted that callback for so long. Even at the court case, even when Roman gave Thomas his sentence, Virgil knew it killed him. And Virgil didn't do anything. Because he was so fucking scared of Thomas being bad, or of Janus winning, or something, and now whatever was going on was his fault, and--

And now was not the time for these thoughts. He breathed in. He opened the door.

Immediately, he was coughing out soot, heat burned his cheeks, his eyes blurred with protective tears forming against the smoke. It was hard to see, let alone process, what was happening. Then, he caught sight of the Dragon Witch. And he caught sight of—

“Roman!” Virgil choked on the yell, coughing again.

Obviously Roman couldn’t hear him from the distance, especially considering the brutal roar of the creature. Adrenaline kicked in, and as Virgil began to sprint towards the prince, he took in the entirety of the scene with alarm. Roman was...fighting, sure, except that Virgil had seen him fight before, and this... wasn’t right. Roman bested manticore-chimeras like it was a breeze, he HAD bested the Dragon Witch herself in every form she took, “just for training.” He always moved like he was in a ballet, not a battle, like it was more for show than challenge, and now...

Virgil watched Roman fall to a hard swish of the creature’s tail, and stay there. He almost expected the Dragon Witch to take mercy, or at least, to accept an early victory. But he watched her rear back, raise a taloned hand, the magma-red in her throat glowing brighter and brighter—just as Virgil got close enough to let fight win over flight.

Virgil crashed into Roman; they rolled just far enough that the swipe of claws only ripped the edge of Virgil’s jacket.

Immediate danger out of the way, Virgil clenched his eyes tight, trying to do it how Logan taught him. He found something that didn’t make sense--the grass. The grass was dry, therefore it should have been burning, but it wasn’t. He took that foothold to dispel all the fantastical elements of the scene, Dragon Witch and all her carnage blinking from existence. The new calm of the scene was jarring.

That just left a great big field, Virgil, and one absolute dumbass.

"What the fuck, Princey?!"

Virgil’s voice was distorted with stress, and Roman stared up at him wide-eyed, unsure—even terrified in a way that hurt. Virgil quickly pushed himself up so he wasn't pinning the other. Roman tried to copy this movement, only to groan, start coughing, and fall back again.

“Shit, I—“ Virgil looked at his hands and found red on them, looked at Roman and saw the color painting his chest. “I thought I dispelled all the imaginary stuff, why—?“

“Left brain sides can only dispel so much of what right brain sides feel,” Roman said, voice rough and thin and upsettingly casual, “Since they feel so real to me, you can’t get rid of them.”

“They feel…? Christ, ok, you need a medical kit, uhm—“ Virgil closed his eyes again; he was notoriously shitty at summoning things, and he had to concentrate for this—

“That’s ok; I’ve got it,” Roman said, letting out a quiet hiss as he propped himself up on one arm, and summoned the medical kit with the other, “You can go now.”

Virgil gaped at him in disbelief. When Roman attempted to stand up, and Virgil could no longer deny he wasn’t joking, he exclaimed, “Like Hell am I going, idiot!”

Roman just stared at him, and Virgil cursed under his breath. “Ok ok, let’s just... we should do this in the bathroom, uhm—“

Virgil awkwardly clambered over to Roman again, taking his hand, so he could blink them over together. He knew it would probably be more comfortable for Roman to sink in and out, but considering Virgil wasn’t practiced at that, he wasn’t going to risk screwing it up.

They apparated into the bathtub, and Virgil scrambled up, taking the med kit from Roman's hands.

Ok, ok, now Virgil just had to remember that one time Logan lectured them all on “Side Safety.” He took a shaky breath and washed his hands quickly, before turning back to Roman. He allowed himself to fully assess the prince this time and… Jesus. He was slumped against the back of the tub, having given up his attempts at composure while he thought Virgil wasn’t looking. His litany of scrapes, cuts, bruising, his shallow breathing, and--most of all--the wet, red patch slowly growing on his shirt, sparked renewed panic in Virgil.

“Ok, fuck, ok--let’s do this,” Virgil said, mostly to himself, as he knelt down by Roman to undo his already tattered shirt and take a wet towel to his chest. He had to suck in a breath at the sight of the jagged wound, a nauseous feeling catching up to him.

“You’ve already done a lot, you know,” Roman insisted. “You can--”

“If you tell me to go, Princey, I swear I’ll make these wounds worse myself,” he said, not meaning it in the slightest, which he would assume Roman knew--but the way Roman flinched and shut his mouth told a different story. “Shit, I didn’t mean that. Of course I didn’t mean that!”

Roman glanced away, and Virgil reached to cup his cheek, an instinct he didn’t know he had. Luckily, he caught himself in time to retract his hand. They both avoided eye contact for a second; Virgil cleared his throat; and he reached for the bottle of hydrogen peroxide before pausing. He vaguely recalled Logan mentioning how strong alcohols would only cause more harm, and they should just stick to mild soap instead. He gave the cut a longer look-over—it was certainly not a pretty sight, but probably not as bad as it looked. It was large, but not too deep. Plus, as sides, it would heal itself without needing anything like stitches or professional medical work. The past scars littering Roman’s body were proof of that. Actually--had he always had this many scars? Virgil squinted. How often did he do this?

Virgil finished cleansing and bandaging the wound to the best of his ability, with little talk beyond the occasional, soft “sorry” at Roman’s winces. When he had finished, he gave Roman his hoodie (an action the Prince was too tired to take much notice of), since summoning a new shirt seemed like a waste of whatever energy he had left.

“Ok, Princey, all done. Uhm, are you—how, how are you?” Virgil mentally kicked himself.

A small, bitter smile tugged at Roman’s lips for just a moment. He opened his mouth and then closed it, and finally shrugged. “Thank you for your help.”

It hurt, Virgil realized. Roman’s quiet voice, where near-shouting was his usual speech. His unkempt hair sticking to his forehead, where it was usually styled to be very lightly and intentionally ruffled. The bags beneath his eyes where there was usually concealer. All of it hurt.

Virgil sucked in a breath. “Look, I’m sorry if I’m being annoying, but I hope you know there’s absolutely no way I’m leaving yet.”

“Virgil,” Roman almost said it as a whine, which was closer to his usual style, so Virgil considered it progress.

“Roman,” Virgil deadpanned back.

Roman huffed. “Maybe I need space to really explore my feelings, and you’re actually being a terrible friend right now,” he argued.

“Uh-huh, well being a terrible friend is always my favorite, so,” Virgil leaned down, fumbling slightly as he picked Roman up bridal style, “We’re gonna get you to bed, and you can explore your feelings by sleeping.”

“Great, now you’re damsel-in-distressing me,” Roman said sarcastically, but he leaned his head into Virgil’s chest as he did so, which kind of ruined his point.

“Yeah, yeah. Act more like Megara next time, and maybe it’ll be different.”

•••

Roman groaned upon waking up. His whole body ached, but mainly it was focused around a sharper pain in his chest. He let his eyes flutter open, only to find Virgil staring at him from his desk.

“Ah,” Roman uttered, a jumble of memories from the past few hours returning. They felt foggy and mildly icky, but mainly the pain in them was the numb kind of pain, the tired kind. Really, it was indistinguishable from the dull ache of his bruises and cuts.

“Yeah,” Virgil said, as though he understood, even though he couldn’t possibly. “Uh, wanna talk about it?”

It was clear Virgil felt awkward asking the question. It was unclear whether that was due to his tendency to be embarrassed by everything he said, or—far more likely—that he wanted to stop babying a stupid prince, and just go about his business.

Roman sat up, suppressing a wince as best he could. “Do you want to hear about it?”

“Of course I do.” Virgil said it without an ounce of hesitation. Roman’s breath caught.

“Oh.” Roman shifted slightly over, and Virgil took a seat by him on the bed. “Okay. Uhm. I don’t know, I just—I messed up.” What else was new?

“...What did you mess up?” Virgil asked, with an inkling of suspicion, like he knew what this was about. But it wasn’t that; it wasn’t the callback—that was over and done and dead. Roman had created so many fantasies, so many crazy scenarios where they could somehow still make it in that stupid movie, and it had always filled him with hope or crushing pain or something, but as of this afternoon? He didn’t even care. It didn’t matter.

So, Roman ignored the question, and instead commented, “Janus got accepted.”

“What the fuck.”

Roman observed Virgil’s stricken expression like an unsettling kind of mirror of himself when—

My name is Janus.

“Yeah,” Roman sighed, “I didn’t take it so well either.”

Virgil looked at him for a long moment, seeming to go through several series of emotions, before he was able to ask, “...What happened?”

Roman inhaled sharply. “I was wrong about being wrong about the wedding. Patton was also wrong; Janus was right, and then Patton was right because he wasn’t a total asshole to Janus, and I’m evil; Thomas hates me; whatever, you get it.”

He thought he would break down, saying it, but he felt oddly… fine. He sat, staring at the same spot as he was before, absentmindedly annoyed at the way his bandages itched. The normalcy of the situation almost made it worse. This sucked. This wasn’t even bad.This was the worst he had ever felt.

“Oook,” Virgil said, clearly not knowing where to start, “I—you—what do you mean: Thomas hates you?”

“Thought that one was self-explanatory.”

“He can’t hate you,” Virgil said with a laughable amount of conviction. “You’re still his… y’know.. goals. Desires. Hopes. Whatever. Just because this one didn’t go… perfectly, doesn’t mean you won’t keep—“ he struggled to find the phrasing for a moment— “...fighting, uh, valiantly for Thomas’s dreams!” he attempted at the encouragement with a weak smile.

Roman just shook his head. “No. I don’t know what he wants.”

Virgil’s smile dropped into confusion. “But… you are his wants.”

“That’s kind of the problem.”

Virgil seemed at a loss, and Roman felt like an asshole. Here he was trying to help him, and Roman couldn’t even be bothered to put on a smile to dismiss him from the duty.

“Please go,” Roman attempted weakly when he couldn’t find a more convincing argument in himself. He was meant to be an actor, but he knew he couldn’t hide the fact that he wanted him to stay, of course he did, so badly. He hoped Virgil would just quit with the chivalry and go despite that.

Virgil sighed deeply and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Shit, I'm going about this all wrong.”

Roman knew it probably wasn’t really him Virgil was mad at, but it was hard not to shrink away anyway.

“Look, Roman—“ Virgil turned to him, looked at him seriously, took his hands in his— “To be honest? I don’t care what happened. I don’t care who was right or wrong—I mean, we all know I’ve been in the wrong more than my fair share. It doesn’t change how I feel about you.”

Roman didn’t miss the ambiguity of the end statement. “But… look, you don’t get it. When you mess up, you’re still you. You’re still...,” Roman gestured vaguely, which upset his bandages, and when he looked down at himself, he took note of the black/purple hoodie he was wearing. He melted slightly. This was exactly the point he was trying to make, “You’re still... y’know. Important.”

“Wh—? Of course you’re important, Ro. You’re creativity—“

“Thomas has two of those.”

Virgil looked at him like he was stupid. “Right, as if you’re anything like Remus.”

Roman’s lip quivered at that, and he had to look away, which was so stupid. And suddenly he felt all of the embarrassment at once—of this situation, of everything that had happened before, of the way he was about to cry, in front of Virgil, after he said that, which must look so—

“Roman?”

A hand was on his cheek, softly turning his face towards Virgil’s, though Roman still refused to meet his eyes.

Virgil cursed to himself under his breath. “Shit, this is exactly what I was trying not to say.” He sighed, and Roman hesitantly looked up at him. “Look. Even if you weren’t creativity, if you weren’t hopes or dreams or any of it—if you were a completely pointless side, which you aren’t, but if you were—I wouldn’t care. What I care about is that you’re... Roman. That you bother me until I sing Disney with you, that when you put your heart into something, you do it to a stupid amount, that you make Thomas take trashy buzzfeed soulmate quizzes when he’s stressed, and that you fucking try so hard for everything, even when I’m being a little bitch about it,” he paused. With the hand on Roman’s cheek, he traced the line of a scar down his jaw. It was one of the ones Roman usually made sure to put an illusion over, he noted offhandedly. “I care, because you’re my best friend.”

“Don’t say that,” Roman choked out. He couldn’t handle it if it was a lie, and part of him couldn’t manage hearing it as anything but exactly that. “Just—just—“

“Oh, Princey..”

Virgil held him as he broke. Roman didn’t know how long they sat like that as he let everything wash over him for a final time, let it all truly sink in at long last. He took heaving, messy sobs, no doubt ruining Virgil’s shirt in the process—he was quiet, though. He shook silently, save a couple choked breaths, in the other’s arms--that was a habit he had taught himself long ago.

When Roman had tired himself out, when all that was left was the pain in chest, (which was also suddenly duller—he was healing fast, even for a side—) he pulled back from the embrace. Virgil didn’t move by much, kept them so their fingers were laced together, as they sat staring at each other.

“Uhm. Thanks,” Roman gave a shaky smile, “You really—uh... I... I said some stupid stuff, huh?”

Virgil hesitated before he spoke, as if he knew he shouldn’t ask this right now, but needed to anyway. “...Roman, why’d you go to the Imagination?”

Roman felt ice stab at his chest upon the question. He didn’t want to do this. They had already talked about so much that he shouldn’t have gotten into; this was meant to be the part where they either parted or watched a stupid movie. And this, out of everything, was the conversation he most needed to avoid.

“Uh—I mean, to let off steam?” Roman gave a laugh as best he could. “Obviously, it didn’t go to plan—“

“Didn’t it?”

Roman’s face fell immediately. He struggled to come up with an answer, and even if he had had one, he didn’t think the sound would come out. This was enough of an answer in itself

“Shit,” Virgil breathed. Roman couldn’t help but be mildly annoyed by his surprise—clearly he had already known, he didn’t have to make it a big deal now.

“I… Princey—Roman…” Virgil looked him up and down, and Roman wanted to curl up and hide. “...how many times?”

“Not many,” Roman mumbled. Virgil must have known he was pushing the subject too far, because he just frowned and said,

“OK. I mean...it’s not OK, obviously, but you already know that, I just—“ he sighed. “Just… can you talk to me? Instead? Please? When you feel like… that.”

“Yeah, that sounds good,” Roman responded hastily, wanting an out from this topic.

Virgil gave him a look. “I’m serious. I mean—look, you don’t even have to talk about it if you don’t want. Just, come to me first, yeah?”

Roman’s face burned; he was embarrassed; he wanted to shrug this whole thing off, or roll his eyes, or maybe scream in annoyance. But the rational part of him knew Virgil was right. “OK,” he agreed softly, “...Thanks. For everything.”

Virgil looked surprised, and then flustered, and then waved off the earnest reply. “I mean, it wasn’t--I didn’t--it’s not like I did anything really--”

“You did.”

Virgil’s face softened. “Yeah, well... you’d’ve done the same for me. You... have done the same for me.”

Roman smiled gently at him. “By the way, Virge--” He hesitated. He was about to sound like a real dumbass if Virgil had only been saying this stuff for comfort’s sake. But making a fool of himself was becoming a theme for him anyway, so he continued, “You’re my best friend too.”

I love you.

In the same beats Roman thought it, Virgil squeezed his hand lightly 3 times. A breath passed between them. An understanding. That Roman couldn’t say it out loud, and Virgil wouldn’t.

Instead, Virgil fell back across the bed, bringing Roman with him in the motion. Roman let out a startled gasp and elbowed him lightly. “Hey! I’m injured, that could have been a fatal impact for me!” he whined.

Virgil snorted. “Yeah, yeah, OK. So, do you wanna watch a stupid movie, or what?”

[goldenncherrybombb]

Dance with me?

Just a little dad blurb because who doesn’t love dad Harry? Hope you enjoy :) if you want me to add on to this lmk and request something! I am hoping to get requests done soon! Reblogs and feedback is welcomed!

Masterlist

Word count: 4.5k

Warnings: pure fluff

Dinner was just finished and cleaned up. The wonderful roast Anne made was delicious as usual. Now y/n and Harry are sitting on Anne’s back porch swing, Harry’s feet pushing the swing lightly. The warm summer breeze blowing through their hair, the sun setting and casting a golden glow. Her legs were in Harry’s lap, him giving her a much needed foot massage. Harry knows how swollen and sore his wives feet have been due to the extra weight y/n now has.

They reminisce the day they found out that they were expecting. She had been sick a lot, tired all the time, and the major giveaway, she missed her period. Harry had just finished in the studio after a long day. He had come home to a nervous wife sitting on the couch, a blanket covering her lap as she sat criss crossed on the plush couch. She broke out of her gaze when she heard Harry enter the house.

***

“Love, ‘m home!” She hears him set his keys in the bowl kept by the front door, then she hears his shoes tap on the ground as his footsteps grow closer. She wasn’t sure why she was nervous. They had talked about kids many times, kids being something both of them want in their lives. She often looked out the kitchen window that overlooked their back yard, day dreaming about two little kids running around the garden and giggling as Harry chased them around. He even told her about some day dreams of his own. Told her how he couldn’t wait till they had a baby and how he hoped their children were just like her.

So she wasn’t sure why she was nervous. But she overthinks a lot. So she started thinking about the what if’s. What if he doesn’t want kids anymore? What if he only wants to focus on music? What if he leaves? What if-

“Lovie, what are you thinking about?” He questioned softly as he sat down in front of her on the coffee table, noticing how deep in thought she was, and also noticing how nervous she was which made him nervous as well.

She jumped lightly and looked at him, a small smile forming on her lips before she looked down again. He grabbed her hands, hoping to bring her comfort. She slowly looked up at him before looking at the tv that played her favorite childhood movie.

“I always loved this movie when I was a kid, was m’favorite,” he turned around and looked at the movie, smiling when he saw what is was and remembering all the pictures your mum showed him with you dressed up as the main character. “I wonder what our babies favorite movie will be.” She whispered, reaching under and a pillow and pulling out the test. Harry didn’t notice her movements because he was still looking into her eyes, trying to process what she just said. His eyes were bright, and wide. Excitement filling them. Her eyes glossed over when she saw how happy he was.

“Your- your?” She nodded, handing him the test. A smile is on both of their faces, a tear dropping down her cheek and he is quick to wipe it off. Suddenly he quickly hovers over her while quickly laying her down. He begins pressing kisses all over he face before she can even blink and the sensation makes her giggle. “We’re gonna be parents, lovie.” He whispers after finally pressing a kiss on her lips. She laughs lightly through her tears. She was ecstatic to see him so happy. All her nerves washed away when she saw the look in his eyes eyes. He kisses her on the lips once more, this time lingering longer before he moves down to rest over her stomach, pulling her shirt up to expose her skin, even though he knows she isn’t showing yet.

“What are you doing?” She giggles, feeling his lips leave kisses all over her skin.

“‘M bout to have a conversation with our child.” He says, trying to be serious but failing when she feels him smile against her skin. “‘Lo little one, daddy is so very excited right now because your mum just told me the best news. ‘M very excited to meet you, we have awhile to wait, yeah? So ‘m gonna probably annoy your mumma and you with how much I will be talking to yeh for the next nine months.” Y/n giggles and runs her fingers through his hair, shaking her head at him.

***

“Tha’ was a great day.” She agrees and pulls her feet off his lap, moving to give him a kiss. He hums from the feeling and Anne’s playlist starts to play loudly from the kitchen as she bakes cookies, kicking y/n and Harry out, saying they need all the relaxing they can get before her grand baby gets here.

Harry pulls back from the kiss and stands, holding his hand out to her. She had an eyebrow raised as she smiles at him, knowing his intentions.

“Dance with me?” He questions, a cheeky smile on his face.

“Would love to Mr.Styles, but your gonna have to give me your other hand if you want me to stand, baby Styles is getting big.” He chuckles and helps her out of the seat, remembering the times she would whine when she couldn’t get off the couch and would have her lip in a pout when she asked him for help.

Harry guides her down the stairs, making sure she doesn’t somehow slip. Once they land on the grass y/n sighs. Her toes curl into the earth, and she smiles lightly, the feeling of grass between her toes making her feel like a little kid again.

Once they stop in the grass Harry’s arms goes around her waist, his hands resting on her hips. Her arms goes around his neck and she lays her head on his chest, her round bump pressed against Harry’s chest. Harry starts humming as he sways them from side to side, the sweet voice of Etta James flowing through the open windows. Y/n chuckles when she feels a kick against her, their daughter excited to hear her dad.

“I’m gonna miss feeling her kicks when she’s here.” Harry whispers, the moment feeling to blissful to speak anymore than a whisper. His right hand moves to rest on her bump, rubbing circles on her round stomach and feeling the light kicks. His head rests on her forehead when she moves hers to look down at her stomach.

“They do hurt sometimes, but I think I will too.” She admits at the same volume of Harry. “I remember the first time she kicked. We were at your last show and I was off to the side of the stage. I was just watching you sing and all the sudden I felt her kick. I thought I was going into labor!” Harry chuckles lightly, remembering the day well and how concerned he was to see her with her hand on her stomach, a concentrated and confused look on her stomach.

“Wha’s wrong love?” He questions, walking up to her quickly. She looks up at him and starts to smile at him.

“I think she just kicked!” She says cheerfully, wiping his worries away.

“No way!” He says, his mouth open a little bit in excitement and shock. She quickly puts his hand on her stomach, Harry’s mouth dropping more when he feels her kick. Harry’s band joins them and he tells them the news. A few of them feeling the kicks, Sarah telling y/n how excited she is.

“Can’t believe she’s gonna be ‘ere soon. I already don’t wan her to grow up and she’s not even ‘ere yet.” Harry pouts making y/n shake her head and smile at him.

“Your gonna go crazy when she has her first crush.” Harry gets a look of distaste on his face, shaking his head.

“Don’t wanna even think abou’ tha’.” He says lowly, shaking his head. Y/n laughs at him and kisses his cheek. They continue to sway for a little bit, reminiscing memories from over the years. The crickets aren’t to loud, and the late summer day breeze cools their skin. They are laughing when y/n gasps all of the sudden. Her hands move from around his neck to the underside of her stomach. Her face scrunches in pain and Harry’s face drops, looking concerned.

“H, my water just broke.” She says, not sounding too concerned.

“Shit, ok, ‘s alright love. The bags are all in the car. Are you sure you haven’t peed yourself?” He questions, wanting to make sure it is actually go time before her gets even more nervous.

“Yes I’m sure I haven’t peed myself.” She grumbles, shaking her head lightly.

“Let’s go inside and grab your shoes so we can go and meet our daughter, love.” she nods and he moves to help her walk the short distance before he speaks up again.

“I need to change out of my dress first. ‘M not sitting in your car in a wet dress.” He nods and they open the back door. Anne looks over and smiles at them before her face drops when she realizes what’s happening.

“Oh my gosh, ‘s really happenin’!” Harry gives her a nervous smile, as well as y/n before she squeezes Harry’s hand and whimpers quietly.

“We gotta go. I’ll call you soon!” Harry promises, ushering y/n into the guest bedroom downstairs. He refused to let her walk up the stairs to get to his childhood bedroom, telling her if he didn’t want her doing it at home nothing is changing here. She rolled her eyes at his protectiveness but is silently thanking him now since she doesn’t have to go upstairs to change.

Once they get into their room he quickly goes over to their luggage, asking her what she wants.

“One of your shirts, underwear, and leggings please.” He nods and digs the items out of their bags. Once he has it all he helps her get out of her dress and underwear. He slides his old dreamboat shirt over her. Then he leans down and helps her step into her underwear then her maternity leggings. She has a few contractions during the process, hissing and holding Harry tighter as he talks her through it. She thanks him with a kiss before pulling back.

“Let’s go do this Mrs. Styles.” She smiles and nods, following Harry as he helps her out of the room and to the car. Harry speeds as carefully as he can to get them their faster. He has his hand in hers, running his thumb over her skin comfortingly.

“It didn’t hurt that much at first, but ‘s definitely starting too.” She admits, throwing her head back with closed eyes when she gets a strong contracting.

“‘M sorry sweetheart, I wish I could take the pain from you.” He hates seeing her in pain, but he especially hates when their is nothing he can do to help her.

He pulls into the hospitals car park, driving up to the emergency lane. He parks his car and shuts it off, not caring it’s in the way at the moment. Someone can move it. His main concern is his wife who is having another painful contraction, now two minutes apart.

“‘S alright, pet. Breathe with me.” He inhales deeply and she follows. He breathes out and her eyes flutter closed as she repeats his actions, feeling the tiniest bit better after her contraction.

Helps her out of the car and into the hospital, telling the nurse. She gets them a wheelchair and wheels y/n to a small room. She checks her vitals, asks a few questions, and hooks her up to a few machines after y/n changes into a gown, before leaving the two, soon to be three. She tells them the doctor will be in shortly, and true to her word their doctor walks in with a smile on her face.

“Hello Mr. and Mrs.Styles.” She greets before washing her hands. Her and Harry reply back before she starts speaking again. “I’m going to check your dilation and we’ll see if you guys are gonna be parents today. You may feel some discomfort.” Y/n nods at her and Harry distracts her as Dr.Anderson checks y/n. Once Dr.Anderson is done she looks up at them with a smile.

“We’re going to move you up to your room soon Mrs.Styles, you are six centimeters dilated.” Their smiles widen impossibly more when it’s confirmed that this is for real this time and not like when she hair Braxton hicks a few weeks ago.

Suddenly a few nurses come in and explain to her what they are doing as they prepare to move her. She gets an IV in before harry helps her stand, she holds onto him and has the IV drip stand in her right hand as she walks. The nurse stops in front of the door and opens it for them.

Their is a couch on the wall straight ahead, a floor to ceiling window making up most of the wall that overlooks the city. The clear bassinet is next to the bigger one for when she arrives. A bathroom is on the left as soon as you walk in. When you walk in further you see the bed.

Harry helps her into the bed They put a band around her stomach that tracks the baby’s vitals and her contractions. Once the last nurse has left after coming back with ice chips for y/n, and fuzzy socks on her feet, Harry crawls into the uncomfortable hospital bed next to her. She puts her head on his shoulder, his cheek laying on top of her head, and his arm goes around to rest on her bump.

“I text mum and asked her to call your parents for us, she said they would be here soon. Gemma should be up here soon, she moved my car fo’ me and got our bags.” Y/n nods and yawns, already tired from the day and the pain she feels every two or three minutes. “Why don’t you try and get some sleep now, I’ll move to the chair.” She shakes her head at him, not letting him stand up.

“Don’t go, I don’t want you to move.” He kisses her forehead before he readjusts in the bed, and makes sure she is comfy. His fingers comb through her hair. She puts her hands on her bump, her eyes fluttering closed. She has one more painful contraction before she falls asleep, she’s thankful for the medication she got for her contractions or else she doesn’t think she would’ve fallen asleep.

Harry smiles when he hears her snore lightly into his neck, he moved the bed back per her requests so she could have her arm around his stomach and her face in his neck, her favorite sleeping position. His fingers rub into her back to try and help soothe some of her back pain she always pouted at Harry about. While she sleeps he quickly texts his bandmates and updates them. Not long after he puts his phone up and refocuses on whatever movie was playing on the TV, he hears a knock before Gemma comes into view, smiling at him.

“Hi, Gem.” He says quietly a she looks at y/n, noticing she is sleeping. She sits in the chair next to the bed before answering him.

“Hey, H. How is she?” She questions, looking at y/n again and smiling at how she has fallen asleep.

“Tired, but good. Hoping she’s here soon so she’s not in pain much longer.” Harry doesn’t take his eyes off of y/n as he speaks, watching her face for any signs of discomfort.

“Can’t wait for her to be here so I can finally be an aunt.” Harry smiles and looks at her.

“Can’t wait for her to be here so I can finally be a dad.” They talk for awhile longer, Anne and y/n’s parents joining them, Harry’s dad waiting till she arrives to come since he lives further away. Y/n wakes up an hour later and joins the conversation. They all leave not long after she wakes up, y/n’s pain rising and the night passing by quickly. Gemma reminds Harry to call her once she’s almost here a million times so he will remember and she hugs y/n and wishes her good luck with a kiss on her cheek before leaving, everyone else doing the same. Y/n’s mom gives her extra hugs and cheek kisses, hugging her ‘little girl’ with teary eyes.

After they leave y/n stands from the bed, wanting to walk around the room and go on the yoga ball for a little bit to hopefully speed it up some. A few hours pass of her rotating between bouncing on the ball and walking around the room. Now her cheek is resting against Harry’s chest, listening to his calming heart beat as he sways them back and forth, rubbing her back to alleviate some pain. Her hair is pulled up into a ponytail to help cool her off and get her hair out of her face. Their swaying reminds her of earlier in the night when they were at Anne’s doing the same thing. Y/n feels a pressure in her lower region and it makes her groan into Harry’s chest.

“I need to start pushing Harry, like ASAP.” She tells him making him freeze for a second before he is nodding and helping her sit back down on the bed. She pushes the call button and a nurse comes in. Y/n informs her of what she is feeling and the nurse pages the doctor. Her dr comes in and asks her a few questions while washing her hands and putting gloves on before she checks her dilation once more.

“Your ten centimeters now, y/n. It’s time to start pushing.” She tells her, smiling at her comfortingly seeing how nervous she got. More nurses come in and start to get the bed ready, the babies bed ready, and the other things needed. While they do so the couple pays no mind to what’s going on around them. Harry has her hand in his, kissing her knuckles as his eyes get glossy.

“Your gonna do so good, love. ‘M right here, you can squeeze m’hand as much as yeh want.” She chuckles and smiles at him before leaving a quick kiss to his lips before Dr.Anderson instructs her to move her legs to the stirrups. She does as said and notices all the nurses in place for her to start pushing.

“Whenever you’re ready, y/n.” Her doctor tells her. Y/n takes a deep breathe before telling her she is ready. “On the count of three I want you to start pushing, alright?” She nods and listens as she counts down before she starts to push. Harry is instructed to hold her leg and he does so, y/n crushes his hand as she pushes, but Harry says nothing and encourages her. She falls back when she’s done, her chest rising and falling faster. She continues to push and her face gets more sweaty as her lower region feels like it’s on fire. She starts to fuss at Harry for touching her, and getting her pregnant.

“You’re a prick, you know that?” She tells him, only so they can hear. “‘M not letting you knock me up again. This shit hurts.” Harry chuckles at her and kisses her sweaty forehead.

“Well see about that sweetheart, your to irresistible, and I love seeing you pregnant.” She huffs and rolls her eyes, going back to pushing.

“One more y/n, I can see the head.” With Dr.Andersons words y/n feels the overwhelming urge to cry knowing with just one more push her baby will finally be here after almost nine month.

“Hear that, love? You’re gonna be a mum soon.” He smiles at her with teary eyes as the arrival of their daughter comes closer. Her eyes are glossy as well as she looks at him, his hand rubs her hair off her sweaty forehead. “One more, tha’s it, babe, then little lovie is here. You got this. Put all your anger that you have towards me for getting yeh knocked up and making you feel this pain and push, baby. Break m’fuckin’ hand.” He whispers in her ear, encouraging her. She nods at him and that seems to give her the motivation she needs as she pushes one more time.

It feels like it happens in slow motion when their precious little girls cries pierce the air for the first time after Harry cuts her umbilical cord while staring at her in awe. Her little lungs giving all the got as she cry’s before laying on y/n’s, now bare chest due to her gown being rolled down, as the nurses clean her. Y/n cries as she looks at her little girl, greeting her as she stares at her mum with wide eyes and resting her index finger on her little chin before she looks at Harry.

“You’re a dad now, H.” She tells him with a broken voice as her emotions flow over her like a tsunami. He smashes his lips against hers quickly, the tears on his cheeks mixing with hers, before he looks back at his daughter, moving his hand to grab her tiny fist. She grasps on to his finger and at the moment he was sure he was done for. His heart had never felt so full, he couldn’t be more in love with his little family. His little love looks at him with wide eyes as she blinks slowly, her eyes a blue green color.

“Scarlett Renee Styles.” Harry whispers with a smile on his face. “She’s got quite a bit of hair, ay?” Y/n nods and hums in agreement.

“She better, I had too much heartburn for her not to.” She laughs lightly, neither of their gazes leaving their little bundle of joy.

The nurse takes her from y/n to clean her up while y/n does. Harry kisses y/n’s forehead once more and whispers ‘I love you’ before following the nurse that his his world in her hands.

She lays her down in the bassinet and wipes her off some more. She then puts a diaper on her before she listens to her heartbeat, takes her weight, and measure her. She cries as the nurse does this and Harry frowns, wanting to pick her up and protect her from the nurse. He makes sure to take some photos.

Once she is swaddled and warm, a baby pink hat on her head, the nurse picks her up and hands her to Harry. Harry nervously takes her and when she is rested in his arms he feels like he could melt.

“‘S alright little lovie, Daddys right here.” He whispers to her, walking her over to y/n whom is talking to Dr.Anderson now that she is done cleaning her up. She talks to her about feeding and Harry frowns when he hears he has to give Scarlett to y/n to feed, he wants to hold her forever.

But he giver his little girl over and y/n coos at her when she’s in her arms, moving her gown off her shoulder again. Dr.Anderson guides her through it and soon Scarlett is having her first feed. The dr leaves soon after, making sure they are set for a bit. Harry sits next to y/n, watching Scarlett as she feeds and having not listened to anything Dr.Anderson has said, too entranced by his daughter as she watches her mom with wide eyes, recognizing her voice as she talks.

“We make pretty cute babies.” Harry says as y/n leans back to get comfortable. She hums in agreement and keeps her eyes on her little one, her index fingers caressing her small and soft cheek. “You sure you don’t want more love?”

“Maybe a few.” She whispers and Harry chuckles.

“Though’ you didn’t want anymo’?” Harry questions knowingly and teasingly. Y/n rolls her eyes playfully and flicks him making him yelp. “‘S not very nice to tease yeh husband, and now baby daddy, babe.” He pouts.

“Didn’t know I had two babies.” Harry huffs and she chuckles while patting his cheek. Once Scarlett is done feeding Harry leaves the room to get everyone from the waiting room. They stand up quickly and he smiles at them.

“‘S a girl.” They all cheer, congratulating him, and hugging him quickly before hurrying to go see the little one. Once they enter the room the girls gasp when they see y/n and baby Scar on her chest, unswaddled now but the blanket still covers her. She has pantone pink legless sleeper on, with matching socks and hat, white mittens on her hands. She lays on y/n’s chest, right over her heart, asleep. Harry moves back to his spot next to y/n, watching her swaddle Scarlett and answers their questions. Anne holds Scarlett first, looking down at her with glossy eyes.

Y/n leans back on Harry’s chest, his arm going around her, now empty, stomach. They all compliment her as each get their turn to hold her. The new parents watch with tired smiles on their faces as they admire her. Y/n turns and looks at him, noticing him pouting as he looks at them. He grumbles when Scarlett gets passed to Gemma, Gemma gladly taking her with a smile on her face.

“Was wrong, h?” Y/n questions, already knowing the look on his face.

“Want m’baby back.” He grumbles, his gaze never leaving Scarlett. She chuckles and pats his cheek lightly as he looks at her.

“We have our how life with her, bubs. ‘S ok.” He lets out a large breath and looks back at his daughter quickly before looking at y/n.

“‘S not enough time still.” She smiles up at him fondly and kisses her cheek before turning to look at her mom who starts telling Harry how much she looks like him.

“Can’t believe my baby has a baby.” Anne whispers to Harry as she hugs him goodbye. Y/n’s parents and Gemma left a few minutes ago and now Anne is saying her goodbyes. After she hugs Harry she moves over to y/n.

“So proud of you sweetheart, thank your for everything you have done for my son.” They talk for a few more minutes and kisses their heads once more before leaving.

Y/n falls asleep shortly after Harry turns the lights off and plays one of their favorite movies. Scarlett hasn’t left the comfort of his arms since he got her back from everyone.

Harry sits on the couch with Scarlett in his arms. He admires her in the golden glow the rising sun is casting throw the sheer curtains.

“Yer daddy’s little princess, ya know that? I’d do anything for you. Yer the pretties girl ‘ve ever seen, your mum tying with you. ‘M so proud of your mum. She’s so strong, I know daddy couldn’t do that.” She seems to find his words funny as her lips twitch into a small smile. “‘M gonna protect you, love you, and teach you everything you need to know. I already love you s’much, and I know yer mum does too. May even love you more than me, but that’s ok, I don’t blame her.” He smiles down at her, his eyes dropping more and more so he puts her in her bassinet. Wheeling her close to the bed before he climbs in next to y/n. Her head lays on his chest and her arm goes around his stomach.

“I love you so much, thank you for give me a family, lovie.” He whispers, kissing her temple. She smiles sleepily against his chest.

“Love you too, H.” She whispers as her eyes close again. Harry smiles and lets sleep over take him after one last peek at his sleeping little girl.

[tjlikesprettythings]

Joshua Tree Playlist-A Macriley Fic

So I’ve done it again, not sure what’s wrong with me or where this came from but enjoy my obsession. Thanks for the motivation and support from my other posts. I’m still waiting for my invite from Ao3 but wanted to share this monster with you guys. 

This fic was inspired by music that I thought fit the general tone of this story, so I decided to make a spotify playlist linked Joshua Tree Playlist hence the name. Now of course you guys don’t have to listen to it, I know we all have different preferences, but I would recommend listening to the last song by Dylan Schneider “Wannabe” so you get the full context of what I was trying to write. I also mention the songs that I recommend listening to. Well anyways Enjoy and do let me know what you think!

This is very long, just a heads up! Please let me know if I should continue writing. 

Joshua Tree Playlist

Chapter 1: Day 1

Mac sat on the deck after his run, another sleepless night. The nightmares felt more and more real each day. Looking out on the early morning LA skyline he felt like a stranger in his own life. There was so much anger in him that he didn’t know what to do with himself. The loss, the tragedy that was his life felt like a weight he couldn’t bear. He’d give anything to go back to that pressure chamber in Georgia again instead of this, at least things made sense then. He was spiralling, he was aware. Scrubbing his hands across his face he let another breath pass. He didn’t hear her coming but saw her shapely bronze legs standing in front of him dressed in khaki shorts and a black singlet one hand holding a backpack and the other on her hip. It was definitely early for her to be up, especially on an off day. 

He raised an eyebrow at her, “what’s up Riles?” 

“Get up, we’re going on a trip.” She simply said swinging the backpack at his feet. 

“What?” he was confused by the situation unfolding in front of him, maybe he was dreaming? 

She turned to walk back into the house, “You heard me Macgyver, get your ass in the car in 5!”

He stood up and swiped the backpack off the floor and chased after her. She was already in the truck sunglasses pulled down with her arm out of the window, fingers drumming against the door. “Riley.”

She nodded her head in the direction of the car, “come on, we haven’t got all day! Get in!”

He could have stood his ground but honestly, he was too tired to argue with her. So he threw his backpack in the back and got into the passenger seat. She started the car and connect her phone to the Bluetooth, a playlist called Joshua Tree Playlist that was curated by Riley Davis came on the on-screen deck. He discovered that Riley didn’t just listen to Beyonce, old school rap, and rock. Her music like her was multifaceted and ranged from what you’d expect to complete surprises. He even walked in on her listening to Harry Styles to which she had just shrugged and simply said “I’m confident in myself to like what I like, besides watermelon sugar is a tune.” But currently, she quickly scrolled and threw on Mumm-ra’s “Summer” the indie rock song had a classic indie bass and guitar combo as the intro, she shimmed her shoulders to the music. He couldn’t help but actually crack a smile at her antics. 

Her head turned to him then as she bopped to the music and gave him that brilliant smile lipping the words to the song “I’m only happy in the summer...I’m only happy with you, lover...” She was like a prism, all clear but as soon the light hit her she was vibrant colors and sounds. “Now that’s more like the Mac I know. Nice to have you back for a second.” 

Her words hit him fully, leave it to Riley to bring him back down to earth. To notice that he was struggling. He didn’t know what to say, so he opted for the next best thing. “Are you going to tell me where this semi-voluntary kidnapping is going?”

“Hey, no kidnapping vibes here. We’re taking a couple of days and chilling out. Matty already approved it. We have four days to ourselves. So we’re going on a road trip! Next stop Joshua Tree.” She simply stated as she drove down the hill and towards I-10E.

He widened his eyes and gave his head a shake, letting loose a chuckle he threw up his hand and let them slap his highs. “Ok! I’ll bite.” the brilliance of her smile made him feel like he made the right choice, the breeze already warm blew in through the open windows, the loose strands from her bun floating around her face. 

“Yea! Bozer is going to meet up with us there, he has an errand to run before. Unfortunately, Desi can’t make it, she’s on a mission.” she said sparing him a glance.

He shifted in his seat if he were honest, he was now just looking forward to spending time with her and Boz. “Yea, probably for the best.”

She didn’t say anything waiting for him to continue if he wanted to. The great thing about Riley was she pushed when there was something worth pushing for but otherwise gave him space to talk to her on his own time. Without saying it, he could feel her body asking him if he and Desi were ok.

“I’m not sure I’m what she needs right now.” He simply stated and the unstated that he probably didn’t need their complicated and messy relationship right now either. They were too volatile and while that gave spark to great sex, it left everything else scorched and untouchable. It wasn’t fair for Desi to be stuck with him while he was stuck in his head.

He watched Riley shift in her seat, lately, he noticed there was a strange distance between them but then here she was stealing him away as the old Riley would. Maybe four days would give him the answers to why he felt like she was slipping away slowly, the thought put such a tight feeling in his throat, he couldn’t lose one more person. Especially not Riley, not his amazing, smart, loyal, beautiful friend singing along to a cover of Billy Joel’s “Vienna”. Suddenly it was easy to smile again, it didn’t take all of his efforts. “Hey, did you pack my bag for me? Or am I gonna have to survive in these running clothes for four days?”

He didn’t think to change when she gave him 5 minutes to meet her at his truck.

“I got you, Mac, everything you need is in there boy! Why would I give you an empty backpack?” she tapped on with the music and threw him another smile. If the next few days were going to be filled with smiling Riley he was already glad she kidnapped him voluntarily.

“Did you go through my underwear and sock drawers?!” He asked narrowing his eyes and laughing as a soft blush spread across her cheeks, Riley Davis can be bashful what do you know. 

“I mean we’re all adults here, no need for this juvenile behaviour. Yes, I packed your undies and socks.” He could see her rolling her eyes behind her sunglasses, but he was amused by the blush that graced her face. Mac always thought Riley was attractive, men and women constantly commented on her beauty. Her looks helped them with countless ops. He wasn’t blind, just looked past the obvious. She was his friend, Jack’s daughter, and a relationship he couldn’t sacrifice. But these moments when they’re alone and he could look at her and steal glances he saw just how gorgeous she was as a being. 

They had become closer the past couple of years for sure, he felt completely at ease with her. Could talk to her about anything, seek her counsel about things that were on his mind. She usually could read him already ready to jump into whatever stupid situations he got himself into. Even now he couldn’t believe that she followed him into Codex. She had told him she trusted him, and he felt like he could breathe just from those words. Knowing she stood with him gave him the strength to follow through. 

They stopped for coffee and bagels, laughing about the guy in front of them that took ages to order. They made fun of a couple of housewives of Beverly hills type and how Bozer would’ve recognized who they are. It was just easy his mind kept saying to him. When he pointed to a smidge of cream cheese in the corner of her mouth, she attempted to licked it away with her tongue, he couldn’t help but gulp down some of his iced coffee and watch her miss it. Reaching over he brushed the side of her lips and without thinking licked his thumb clean. She froze for a second and looked at him with an intensity that he couldn’t read. “You were struggling” he shrugged. 

“Thanks,” was all she said with an almost shy smile, unaware of course of how that small act sent fire all over her. She was thankful that she was on her last bite and he was already finished with his bagel, now casually leaning back in his chair letting the sun warm his face, his golden hair casting a halo around him. She needed to run away, “ready to start the journey again?”

Smiling he stood, they took their unfinished coffee and bottles of water with them. For the next 15 minutes, they joked about the new episodes of Rick and Morty, as more of her playlist played in the background, glancing at the screen he saw the current song was “Good Life” by Randell Kent. The lyrics washing over him as they finally pulled into the expressway. This could be a good life, at least it felt that way right now. 

They passed the next 15 minutes in silence, but it was the kind they had often where it was just comfortable. They didn’t feel the need to fill the void. They just listened to music and watched the road and let their minds wander.

She hummed along with the new song that came on, he never noticed that she had a pretty nice singing voice. “...don’t overthink it...just surround me...hmm” LÉON's "Surround Me" played in the car. He leaned against his window and watched her quietly.  “Why don’t you take a nap, I know you didn’t sleep much last night. We’ve got another 2-hour drive ahead of us.” She finally says to him softly turning the music down a bit and rolling up the windows opting for the ac.

Of course, she noticed, it wasn’t a big secret that he had been spiralling out of control. He wasn’t sleeping or eating well, his mind obsessing over Codex. But now there was nothing but a jumbled mess of things and just pure grief and exhaustion left behind in the aftermath. Strangely enough, he actually felt ok enough to take her up on the offer, she made him feel safe. Knowing she was going to be here when he opened his eyes brought a feeling of comfort and peace he was struggling to have, it was like the darkness couldn’t get to him. “Yeah ok.”

He drifted and for the first time in a long time found sleep came quickly and a dreamless sleep took him over. No nightmares, just soft hum engulfed him. It was when he felt warm fingers on his cheek brushing back some hair did he open his eyes and came face to face with Riley’s hazel eyes and full lips. He blinked a few times to adjust to the light. “Hey,” she said softly. 

“Hey, are we here already?” He asked sitting up, it didn’t escape his mind that he didn’t mind that Riley was the first thing he saw when he opened his eyes, it never did but he filed it away with any other thoughts that ever came into his mind about her that seemed more than friendly behaviour. 

She stepped away from him and cleared her throat and nodded, “yea, we’re here. I’m glad you got some sleep” she smiled again. She was entranced with watching him sleep, she almost didn’t want to wake him, he was beautiful, soft and so vulnerable in this moment. She knew how much he was struggling, which made her predicament even more complicated. How could she tell him she would be moving out? Instead, her brilliant idea was to steal him away for a few days. She was playing with fire, but she also knew that as strong as he was, any more change might send him over the edge. She decided she’ll tell him about her move after this trip, but her priority will always be to protect him, her heart can deal with it. 

His own faced turned up, “yeah I guess I needed it, and who knew what I needed was you humming off-key to songs in the background to fall asleep.” She swallowed and told her heart to stop its stupid summersaults. 

“I’ll make you some tracks and make sure they’re extra off-key! I’ll be your white noise” she said quickly teasing back. 

“My very own ghost.” his eyes crinkling in the corners. This was the most she’s seen him smile in a while. 

Rolling her eyes and doing a mock laugh “careful or I will haunt your ass for real” to which she got full dimples, this was going to be four long days.

“Ok so I got us a house actually” she cheekily said pointing at the well-maintained terra cotta colored house they were parked in front of on top of a hill surrounded by sky and desert landscapes with cacti and boulders, the house faced the road below that brought them into town. The front porch had a couple of lounge chairs, a table for four, a couple of lanterns neatly hung around the arches and a small pathway that led to a circular covering what he deduced was the hot tub. There were shrubs and succulents neatly planted around the house giving some green to the otherwise very warm hue of the area. 

Mac looked around and already his head felt lighter under the sky that just seemed bluer here, probably because the air pollution was nonexistent here. He sheepishly said, “I kinda thought we’d be camping,” rubbing the back of his neck, “but the house looks nice.”

“Listen, we can camp I bought everything, but we can also stay in this awesome house with a hot tub, pool, and functioning toilets and showers.” she shrugged tucking her hands into the back pockets of her shorts. “What can I say, I’m a city gal and honestly we do ‘camp’ a lot for work.”

He shook his head lightly, “yeah I guess you got a point there,” thinking of all of the times they did camp out without any real equipments. “You thought of everything huh?” He asked softly taking her in fully. “Thanks, Riles.” watching her smile and nod made his heart feel warm, a feeling he’s been missing for a while.

As if on cue Bozer pulled up behind them. Riley’s smiled widen. Mac turned towards the car and he thought he was seeing a ghost. Then he heard the familiar sound of a Texan drawl. He turned to Riley wide-eyed and then back at where Bozer stepped out of the car with a shit-eating grin and next to him was none other than Jack Dalton. 

“How’s it going hoss!” He waved with a laugh as he approached Mac and took his hand and pulled him into a hug.

“Jack! Man, it’s so good to see you.” Mac said hugging the older man hard, he felt his eyes water just a bit.

Jack pat his back and pulled away smiling, “it’s good to see you too, kid.”

“Yeah, the OG gang is back together” Bozer claimed jumping with excitement.  

Jack turned to Riley and embraced her, “Hey baby girl!” Pulling her off the ground as she shrieked with laughter. Riley held onto Jack for a moment longer before releasing him and smiling, she didn’t hide the tears that were softly rolling down her face now. 

“I’m so glad to have you back.” She said softly. Jack brushed away tears from her cheek and nodded. 

“Me too.” he turned to look at his crew and smiled at the kids that somehow came to mean the world to him. “So we ready for this crazy weekend or what?!” his arm still around Riley. 

“Hell yeah!” exclaimed Bozer already heading to the trunk of his car to grab his and Jack’s bags. 

Mac just stood dumbfounded for a second taking in the 3 most important people in his life and finally feeling something, he’s been so scared that something in him was shifting but seeing them here smiling at him brought back the warmth he felt has been slowly seeping away. “Thank you, guys.”

“Come on man, we’re family,” Bozer said squeezing his shoulder. 

“You always got us,” Jack added a giant grin. “Alright now, let’s get settled and decide what we’re doing. I’m craving a cold one for sure!” He said picking up his bag.

Riley on cue walked over to the door and pressed in the security code into the door handle and opened up the door. “Welcome to the digs boys, we’ve got the living room” pointing to the right, “the master bedroom just past there as well as the second bedroom. Just ahead is the dining room and kitchen, around the hall to the left we have the other two bedrooms and bathroom. Laundry room and back porch with the grill AND pool. You saw the fire pit and hot tub in the front of the house.” she said sweeping both her arms around the house that was meant to be their home for the next four days. 

“Damn Riley! You did good!” Bozer said as he scanned the house, decorated with a mix of modern and country house feel. Walking over to the kitchen he hummed in approval, “I can work with this! I’m gonna grab the groceries!” he bounced back out the door. 

Jack gave a whistle of approval, “man, after the places I’ve been sleeping in, I’m gonna sleep like a baby!” as he went around ducking into rooms and giving his approval.

Mac didn’t care much about the house but did agree it was a nice one with all the comforts of home. 

Riley suddenly stood in front of him and gave him a warning “Macgyver don’t use any part of this house, I would like to get my deposit back.” He laughed holding up both hands in agreement. 

Jack turned the attention back to the group, “ok kids whose taking what room?”

“Riley should have the master,” Mac said right away. Jack did jokingly protest that he’s the one who’s been sleeping on rubbles and jungle floors. Bozer bounced into one of the bedrooms to the right, jack decided to take the bedroom next to Bozer. Which left him and Riley to the right side of the house. “Masters all yours.”

She smiled, “umm you sure you don’t want it?” to which he shook his head, all of the bedrooms where sizeable with queen beds and dressers, it honestly didn’t matter and being the only girl they didn’t mind giving her the room with space and vanity table so she can paint her face as jack put it to which she rolled her eyes. “So there is the bathroom down the hall next to the other bedrooms but one here on our side the bathroom is actually in the master, so feel free to use it if you need it. The shower in there looks amazing!” She said nervously.

He smiled “yea ok.” He helped her unpack the car and bring her bag into her bedroom. He looked around “maybe I should take this room,” which earned him a light shove at his shoulder and he chuckled. 

“Too late it’s mine now. Ok! So I say we get changed grab some lunch and chill for a bit while we plan the next few days.” She laid out the plans looking up at him both hands on her hips and she stretched forward towards him. That familiar hammering came back in her chest, the next thing she knows he’s embracing her. “Mac…”

He just needed to be close to her just for a second, releasing her from the embrace he softly said, “I just...I know I said thank you, but really, thank you.”

She held onto his biceps and squeezed them, ignoring the way that made her feel she just smiled at him “hey what are friends for if not to kinda kidnap you for a mini-vacation.” He laughed and she decided that was her favorite sound. Letting her hands fall to her side, “go get settled, I’m sure Boz will make us something to eat, I’m starving.”

He smiled once more and left her standing in the middle of her room feeling so many things. The next four days were going to be the hardest four days of her life she reminded herself again. She survived two years in prison, she’ll be fine, she hoped. Taking a deep breath she walked into the kitchen where she could already hear Jack and Bozer. 

Bozer was laying out sandwich meats and cheese he had picked up while swatting Jack’s hands away from stealing slices of the cold cuts. She felt a bit emotional seeing them goofing around, something about Jack being home made her feel like everything was going to be ok, that Mac would be ok and she would have the strength to get over what was currently happening to her in regards to Mac.

“Some things never change.” She heard Mac say softly now changed into a pair of trousers t-shirt and button-down. “Thanks for the clothes you picked out, I don’t think I could have picked better.”

Again she felt her face warm, what the hell was wrong with her. She couldn’t recall a time that she felt this affected. Usually, with guys she had found attractive, it was always coyness and subtle flirting but never did something so simple trigger this kind of response. She chalked it up to the heat even though the state of the art thermostat read a cool 70°. “Yea, of course, you’re welcome. And I’m glad that some things don’t change.”

Mac looked down at her, he agreed but maybe some things changing wouldn’t be too bad. Pulling up the chair at the kitchen island, they took the beers Jack handed them one by one raising his bottle “it’s good to be home, cheer!” They all clinked the bottles together and shouted cheers. Jack took a long swig off his beer, “Damn that’s good.” 

Mac couldn’t help but feel like he was transported back to a couple of years ago when things were simple and good. They saved lives and had fun. Everything seemed so much heavier and complicated these days. But right now at this moment, he felt the most present he’s felt in a year. 

“What are we having Boz, I’m starving!” Riley whined softly. 

“Girl I got you covered. I’m making a medley of sandwiches, you got a Cuban, prosciutto and mozzarella with balsamic vinegar and basil, and a BLT coming at you with my homemade mayo,” he said already working on prepping the bread with condiments. 

“Damn Bozer, have I missed your cooking!” said Jack with an excited glint in his eyes. 

“So I was thinking we take it easy for today don’t know about you guys but I could take a dip in that pool, we’ll start early morning for the hikes, if we want to camp tomorrow night we can, day 3 and 4 are open for whatever you guys want to do. We need to be back in LA by noon on monday.” Riley laid out the plans.

“Pool party, I’m in,” Jack said nodded seriously. 

“Me too! I can’t remember the last time I just had a day to do whatever I wanted.” Bozer said thoughtfully while working on their lunch.

“Yea, it’s been a lot going on hasn’t it.” He said picking at the beer bottle label. The room fell into silence for a moment, each reviewing the events of the past year if not longer. They lost so much as a collective but Mac and the most. 

Jack took another sip finishing off his beer and shook his head, “Nah, we’re here to have fun, let’s focus on that.” grabbing one of the pickles that Boze laid out, Bozer gave him a side-eye but said nothing. “This weekend we’re gonna unwind and be thankful for this beautifully weird place. Nothing is blowing up, no one is shooting at us, the worst thing will be the hangovers and food comas,”

Riley and Bozer both collectively knocked on the wood of the kitchen island, “don’t jinx it!”

To which Mac proceeded to explain that ‘jinx’ wasn’t a scientifically proven, and went into a ramble about logic. It wasn’t until he noticed all three of his friends smiling affectionately at him that he stopped dropped him head mouth curving into a smile. He knocked on the wood too just in case.

                                                         II

Twenty minutes later Bozer served them his masterpieces as he called them, and they all agreed that they were works of art. Jack had caught them up as much as he could on his mission with the deltas and catching Kovac, leaving the classified information out. It seems so natural that they wouldn’t give details, that they understood that somethings they could never talk about again. 

Finishing off his third sandwich Jack stood to plug his phone to charge “can you believe this phone lasted me almost 2 years?!” 

To which Mac rolled his eyes but his mouth still twitched upwards. “I can’t help that a phone has key components for most builds.”

“Yeah you left and it became either me or Riley. I feel like it was mostly me though.” Bozer said pouting. 

“Appreciate you picking up the slack, I already upgraded my insurance just in case.” Jack pointed at Mac. To which Boze and Riley hollered. 

Mac held up his hand and shook his head, “hey man I promise if I don’t need it, I won’t ask for it.” 

“Alright, Alright let’s get to the pool!” Jack said already pulling his shirt over his head. “Riley throw on some tunes, preferably something country or rock or close to my generation that we can all enjoy.”

It was Riley’s turn to roll her eyes, “don’t worry old man, I got us all covered. A bit of Brooks and Dunn, a bit of Ozzy,  a bit of Technotronic, a little Beyonce, and of course Drake for Bozer.”

Mac’s face squinted into lines. “Wait is Techtronic for me? Or is Beyonce for me?”

She laughed, “guess you’ll just have to find out, though I do recall you know the lyrics to at least one of Techtronic’s’ song.” her own eyes squinting to tease him. “Alright, I’m gonna go change, be right back.”

“Yeah ok fair enough, but only cause it was on the radio…saved your booty,” she heard him mumble as she passed him patting his shoulder. 

The guys were already set up by the pool when she walked out. Bozer managed to find a pool floaty from where they didn’t know and mildly suspected he might have packed the one that he was currently laying on and enjoying the sun. Mac and Jack sat next to each other with their feet in the water.

“I’m sorry about your old man.” Jack finally said softly. 

Mac’s lips pulled into a line before he sighed and looked down at the beer bottle in his hand “yea, as it turns out its hard to be mad at a guy that always chose the utilitarian method. He sacrificed himself, I wish I could just be sad or just angry but how I feel is just…” he didn’t know himself.

“Hey man, I get it. I know what it’s like to lose a father. No matter who and how he was as a person, he was still your dad.” Jack said placing a hand on Mac’s shoulder and giving a light squeeze. “But you know I‘m here if you gotta sort through all the jumbled mess in your head. I’ll be your sounding board.”

“Thanks, I appreciate that” He did appreciate it, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted to, let alone where to start to untangle the mess that his life became. He was brought out of his brooding when Bozer whistled loudly.

“Damnnnnn Riley!” to which Jack knocked him off his floaty, when he resurfaced drawing water away from his face he whined, “I was just paying her the compliment she deserves!”

Mac knew that Riley had an amazing body, her tight jeans and crop tops proved this countless time if not by the countless gowns and tight dresses she had to wear for ops, but they’d never seen her in a bikini in the four years of working together. He swallowed hard and pretended not to stare, but it was hard when she was all bronze and glowing, toned abs and round hips, her smile radiant even if her eyes held a teasing annoyance at the attention. It suddenly felt hotter than 89°. 

Jack knew better than to tell her to cover up, and he knew that he could trust these guys but still, he pouted about her lack of clothing. “Jack, what do you want me to wear to the pool, a potato sack?”

“No, but...never mind!” he just mumbled. 

She shook her head, but she was trying to distract herself from the fact that Mac had looked at her hard, their eyes locked for a second and she could’ve sworn she saw something there, the way his adam’s apple bobbed make her skin tingle. She decided that she’d read it as a compliment. 

The rest of the afternoon passed with a game of pool volleyball, naps here and there or reading, Riley’s playlist playing in the background. Memories being solidified to sounds, smells, and feelings. She chided them to apply sunscreen and even offered to help with their backs. 

“Riley not sure if you’re aware but I’m black,” Bozer said to her proudly.

“So? Black people burn too and are you trying to get cancer?” She asked with a raised eyebrow.

Deflated he shook his head no and sat down. One by the one they gave up the protests as she threw savage shade at them. She applied a boatload of sunscreen just cause they gave her a hard time and decided to snap some pictures as well for blackmail of course.

Mac was last and sat in front of her as she steeled herself and slowly applied the sunscreen to the back of his neck, the hair at his nape tickling her fingers. She worked quickly and ran her fingers between his shoulder blades down his back. She felt him tense and worked faster. As much as she enjoyed being able to touch him like this, it was also inappropriate. He didn’t know about her feelings, and she felt sleazy as if she were taking advantage of a friend. Closing the bottle cap shut, she lightly tapped his shoulders, “done, now you don’t have to be an embarrassing lobster.” She weakly cracked.

He wasn’t new to attraction, or the body’s response to the said attraction. He didn’t expect to be so affected by her fingers running down his back, her nails making a slow trail that left him imagining those nails digging into his back for a completely different reason. He cleared his throat, “thanks, wouldn’t want that.”  he managed as he looked over his shoulder. Fuck him, she was adorable as she chewed her bottom lip and nodded. Ok, maybe four days of this Riley was going to be a challenge.

                                                        II

Around later afternoon everyone decides to shower and get ready for the evening, agreeing to head into town and grabbing dinner there. They decided with the drinks they’ve had best to grab an Uber into town. The awkwardness of the poolside sunscreen still fresh as they piled into the car. It was a short ride but felt long as Riley sat squeezed between Mac and Bozer. Bozer just grinned, of course, him knowing her feeling about Mac was going to be her downfall. When they were dropped off, She felt like she had been holding her breath for hours.

“You ok?” Mac asked her to which she nodded.

“Yep, just need a drink!” His brows raised and he seconded that feeling because he definitely could use one.  

Walking around the old Pioneer town setup, Mac explained different tools and contraptions that were displayed around the old buildings from the 1800s, Jack dazzled them with stories about Texas that either made no sense or was inaccurate according to Mac, Bozer, and goggle. They decided to have dinner at Pappy and Harriet’s Pioneertown Palace, where the smell of barbecue wafted through the warm evening air, They could hear the bustle of music and glasses clinking. Bozer was already rushing in to get them a table saying something about getting his hands on some ribs. Jack hollered that he has to see if this place is as good as Texas barbecue.  

Mac looked down at Riley as her eyes sparkled with excitement the earlier awkwardness finally forgotten. Even though they’ve been everywhere in the world, this place had her vibrating. “I never knew you were a fan of the country life.”

She laughed, “I don’t know, I didn’t think that I was either, but there is something about this place that just, I dunno gets me kinda hyped.”

“Hey, guys they have a table for us!” Bozer shouted over the live music and chatter. Apparently they came on open mic night and the local dentist was doing this rendition of Hank Williams’ “all my rowdy friends” and killing it. The energy was just infectious.

They sat down as Bozer rubbed his hands together, “I already know this is gonna be the bomb. I mean can you smell that hickory?!”

“Hell yea I can!” Jack chimed in.

Mac smiled at his best friends, Bozer and Jack were always bouncing off each other in any room the three of them were in, but since Riley came into the picture they’re better behaved. They listen to song after song and the cheers of the crowd as they ate. Jack approved and hummed in appreciation. 

“I’ve missed this, the good ole USA, bbq, and country blues.” 

“Every song is about beer, a truck, a woman, but man is it catchy” Bozer stood busting out his moves as he called it. 

“Jack, it makes sense you should feel right at home at this place.” She said with eyes twinkling. 

Mac took a swig of his beer and chuckled, “This whole place is Jack if he were a bar, maybe throw in some Black Sabbath and ACDC in and you have Jack.”

Jack grinned and nodded, “ok, ok, you’re not wrong. I’m totally digging this place.” His eyes finding the eyes of a pretty blonde at the bar.

“Classic...” She agreed, crinkling her nose up in that adorable way when she found something slightly distasteful, thought Mac. For a moment they took the time to acknowledge the man who became a father to them both with affection. If they ever have to thank someone for their sincerity they could claim Jack as one of the big influencers. They’re musing was broken by Bozer shouting,

“Guys come on lets dance, how often do we get to do this anymore?” Bozer ushered them onto the dance floor. He already found himself a couple of dance partners. Ph.D. in partying Bozer was out tonight. 

It was true, they didn’t do these things anymore. Things haven’t been the same for a while. It’s only been about a year and yet he felt like his whole world shifted. An avalanche of shit hit him. 

“You don’t have to tell me twice,” Jack jumped up and was already making a beeline for the woman at the bar. They could hear a vague “how you doing?”

Mac and Riley just rolled their eyes and joined Bozer on the dance floor as the new performer of the night decided to sing Shania Twain “Man, I Feel like a woman.” As soon as they joined Bozer, of course, within minutes Riley was stolen away for a dance. Mac was happy to watch her, the joy finally reaching her eyes today. Maybe they all needed this, a moment to stop and appreciate their lives. 

He liked seeing her like this, Riley was always fun to be around. But right now she was everything he thought to himself, everything about her made his heart feel full. Finishing his beer off, he decided that he wanted to be the one to dance with his friend. The more he played with the word, somehow it didn’t seem enough anymore to call her that.

“Can I steal her for this dance?” he asked not really waiting for an answer already pulling her close to him. “You good?” looking to make sure he wasn’t misreading the situation.

She looked up at him and nodded, “yeah, I’m good.” looking down at their joined hands, it was this hand-holding that started the thud in her chest in Germany, and here it was hammering away. She was so screwed. There was a part of her mind that asked her, why not? He’s not attached anymore, so why not? But she knew better, he didn’t need this right now. He didn’t need her feelings to complicate his life. Lost in her thoughts or the blues of his eyes she wasn’t sure which, she didn’t realize the music was changing as the next performer took stage and cheers were heard. 

The music changed to a slower one, something about it just seemed fitting and he’d watched her dance all night with other people but now it was his turn. He stepped up closer to her, her eyes on him as he took her hand and swayed with her. She laughed softly as they danced to a soft country song about a man who wanted to be a girl’s everything. How ironic.

“If you wanna be with a guy who's gonna bring you flowers A guy who's gonna talk on your phone for hours A guy who's gonna wanna hold the door for you When you wanna walkthrough A guy who's gonna pick you up A guy who's gonna take you out and make you Wanna get a little dressed up and get a little down”

She once told him that she wouldn’t mind a small town, the quiet, after all things they saw daily. He wondered if secretly she wanted to be one of those ‘girl next door’ country girl. He felt her warmth through the shirt she wore, his finger brushing the soft exposed skin of her midriff. It was like an electrical current ran through him, which was of course plausible and probably didn’t mean anything.

“I wanna be the guy with the roses Number on speed dial, ladies first, don't you know that's my style Hop into my truck I got plans We’ll head on down to Jimmy's and we'll do a little dance There's a lot of things in a small town a guy can be But if its by your side for the rest of my life Baby, you can call me, a wannabe (a wannabe) Be be a wannabe (a wannabe) (a wannabe) Be Be”

She knew how dangerous this was getting, but she couldn’t help herself just for this one song. Couldn’t help giggling when he spun her around and pulled her close. Couldn’t help but let her stupid heart thud at his deep laughter. Where she could touch him for a little while without question, without worry. She can feel the hair at the nape of his neck as she wrapped her arms around him because they were just dancing. This stolen moment getting filed away as one of the best nights she’s had to date. 

“If you wanna be with a guy whose gonna give you The whole world from the back of a dirt road farm Scribbled in ink with a big heart a tattoo on my arm I'm talkin' kissin' like crazy, can't shut it down Can't you see how I wanna be the guy that you’re out with Arm that's your names on”

With every sway, he felt like he was taking a step towards where he should be. The person he should be and wanted to be. The doubt that has been clouding over him slowly clearing a little. He felt like he could finally see the light shining through. If someone like Riley could stand next to him as the world ended then life couldn’t possibly be that bad, right? So for now at this moment, he pulls her closer, lets her scent make him dizzy. Lets his hand splay across the small of her back to let each finger feel her.

“Be the lips baby that you wanna put your lips on All-day, all night, moonshine, sunrise, your favorite song There's a lot of things in a small town a guy can be But if it’s by your side for the rest of my life, baby you can call me A wannabe (a wannabe) (a wannabe) Be be a wannabe (a wannabe) Be Be”

There is a cheer from the crowd and she laughs “This song is fucking catchy,” She says as he dips her, the audible gasp vibrating through her to him. He decided then that he loved dancing with Riley. He loved her laughs, the way her whole face lit up. 

“I wanna be the guy you make a life with, picket white fence with Maybe a little later hell even make a baby with Just you and me livin' that life long dream There's a lot of things in a small town a guy can be But if it’s by your side for the rest of my life”

He placed his forehead against hers and held her close. She glances up at him and his eyes hold hers. She’s mystified by their intensity, her body on fire from his breath fanning across her face. They were so close, he could kiss. He wanted to kiss her. As they got lost in each other, they failed to see the silly smile on Bozer’s face as he watched them or Jack who also softly chuckled from where he got distracted from wooing his lady friend Carla. If he was being honest, he can’t believe it took this long for them to get to this point. Well, he supposed he’ll have to have a chat with Mac about what he can expect if he hurts his little girl. Turning back to Carla he spared them one last glance then he was all Dalton, Jack Dalton. 

“Baby you can call me, a wannabe (a wannabe) (a wannabe) Be be You can call me your wannabe (a wannabe) Be Be A wannabe (a wannabe) (a wannabe) Be Be”

The crowd clapped cheered and whistled around them, he held her eyes still in a trance. Something definitely shifted between them. She cleared her throat and let him go smiling. “Thanks for the dance. That was so much fun.” Turning to make her way through the crowd to their table where a fresh bottle of beer was waiting for them courtesy of Bozer she assumed. She didn’t wait to see if he was following.

The heat from the dance coming off her now as if she had a full HIIT workout. She took a sip of the beer and before she could swallow it, he was standing next to her. 

“Riley…”

She gulped down the beer and looked at him, she was so fucked. 

[daily-jaspvid]

Your Ex-Lover Is Dead - Jaspvid fluff and whump

Part three is finished! So i’m posting it here.

Content Warnings: mentions of previous s-lf h-rm, mentions of previous su-cide attempts, mentions of child endangerment/neglect (canon-typical), mentions of mental institutions, mentions of food.

Has a happy, hopeful ending!!

I awake slowly the next morning and nuzzle deeper into the pillow. It takes me a moment to recognize there is someone holding me in place, and another moment to recall where I was. I roll over to my companion to idly watch him sleep. He was peaceful, completely relaxed. I notice all the marks I left on him and for a moment felt apologetic.

After only a few minutes of totally not weird watching, I slide my way out of his hold. At some point after I had fallen asleep he must have thrown our clothing in the wash because I noticed my clothes folded neatly on the dresser. It was a sweet gesture, that was for sure. Instead, I locate a towel in the hallway closet and take a shower.

Not even five minutes into the endeavor I hear the door creek open and David shuffles in. “Mind if I join you?” He asks in a groggy voice.

“Yeah, sure,” I agree, moving aside as he slides in. He wraps his arms around my waist so that he can bury his face in my shoulder from behind. For a few long moments, we just let the water wash over us. We had no words. I don't even think either of us had many thoughts at the time. With a gentle kiss, he pulled away.

“Did you sleep alright? Honestly, I wasn’t really expecting you to hang around this morning.” He admitted sheepishly. I turn around to kiss his cheek.

“Why wouldn't I? I told you I still wanted to catch up, and it's not like we did much talking last night. I got cheated out of a good conversation!” I retorted with a smirk. He laughed at that, gentle and bright.

“We can make breakfast and talk more, then. I’d really like for you to stay longer,” he turned to pick up the shampoo and placed a dollop in his hand before lathering up my hair. My eyes fluttered closed as I enjoyed the pampering. “You can stay as long as you’d like, really. I don’t mind at all.”

“Well, I don’t leave back home until Monday. I can stay until then.” I suggest, mind starting to drift back to the previous night when he gives me a little scratch behind the ear.

“Sounds like a plan to me!” He chirps, and we enjoy the rest of the wash with more conversation and a bit of fooling around.

Around 9 am we settled in the kitchen. He had a table with a few chairs and a small basket with various snacks and fruit in it. I grab an apple as he starts poking through the kitchen.

“Do you like waffles? I have a waffle maker I haven't had a chance to try out yet.” He suggested, pulling it out from the back of one of his cabinets.

“Hell yeah, I’ll take some waffles!” I agree as I join him. “What do you need help with? I haven’t made waffles since I was a kid!”

“What was your childhood like?” he asks as he begins to retrieve the ingredients. From my hesitation, I can see concern start to creep onto his face again.

“Oh, well, it was… fine. My parents are nice, and my older brother is pretty cool. Hes going to have a kid soon, so we’re looking forward to that.” I deflect as smoothly as I can. He seems to take the hint and steers the conversation away.

“That's always fun! I don’t have any siblings. I guess that's why I latched on to you when we were kids! You sort of felt like a brother to me,” He paused for a moment, red striking across his face. “Wait- ok, well, that sounds weird now considering- Oh, gosh…”

I blink at him and raise my brows. “Really now? You gonna rephrase that?” I chastize, nudging his arm with my elbow.

“You know what I mean, Jasper!” he scolds, handing me a bowl. “Here, mix this.”

I do as I’m told, still chuckling. He fusses about looking for other ingredients, finally settling with tossing in a handful of frozen blueberries into the mix.

“Can I ask you a personal question?” He asks in a delicate voice, not looking at me.

“Sure,” I allow, having a few feelings of what might come up. I set the mixed batter on the counter and we wait for the waffle maker to warm.

“How did… you get all those scars on your upper arms? And your body. Really just, all over. I mean, I have an idea but-” He exhaled. “And you mentioned the one on your neck.”

“Yeah, I’ve had my struggles growing up. As I said, they're mostly self-inflicted. The one on my neck I did when I was 14. Did a shit job and my brother found me right after I did it. It wasn't very serious since I chickened out mid-cut, but it didn’t stop me from trying other things when I got older. I’ve been in and out of mental hospitals due to attempts, and just my general psyche.” I spill. My expression grows dark and a little cold as I recall, fixating on one of the kitchen tiles as I ramble on. David listens, quiet, waiting for me to finish.

“I’m sorry. I wish I had been there to offer more support, or at least my friendship. I’m sorry I brought it up, we don’t have to talk about it if you don't want to.” He says finally, squeezing my hand. My concentration breaks and I look at him, letting the darkness fall away from me some.

“No, it’s fine. I’m used to talking about it by now. It’s been a long process, but it's gotten easier as I’ve gotten older,” I nudge him aside to begin pouring the batter. “I’ve learned a lot of tools to keep myself grounded.”

“Did it start after… All that happened?” He asked, watching me work.

“Yeah. Having two near-death experiences in one summer does a thing to two to a child’s mind. By all accounts, I should be dead, or at least a lot worse off. Even though I survived I… I never felt like I did. I feel like a big part of me did literally die then and like… I’m a ghost. Like I’m not real and that I shouldn’t be here. Like I need to free my spirit from this world and pass on to the next, wherever that is,” I scoff at myself. Way to sound like a fucking basketcase in front of my childhood crush. “Sorry if this like, changes things. I don’t know, I don’t really talk about this to normal people.”

“Oh, no! It’s fine, really!” He insists, squeezing my hand harder. “I’m glad you’re sharing this with me. It's important. Also, I mean, we did share those experiences together. I didn’t think much of it until I was a lot older how lucky I was that summer, and it always had me worried about you! Wondering how you were. You never came back. Mr. Campbell just swept it under the rug like he does with everything.”

My expression twists in anger and disgust at the mention of Campbell and I take the opportunity to handle the waffle-making again. “Campbell as an ass, and if I never meet him again that’d be great.” I grumble.

Davey scans again as if looking for the right words. “During the summer I actually work there. If you’d like, you can come with me next summer. Maybe being back there will… Help put your soul to rest. It's also an excuse to spend more time together!”

“Only if Campbell isn’t there, I will.” From his expression dodging away, I had my answer.

“He comes by every now and again. Not often, but there's no way of knowing when he will show up.” He explained, fussing with the cuff of his sleeve.

“Well, I’ll… I’ll think about it, ok?” I finally reason. He smiles in a slightly strained way, still visibly worried.

“Please do. Now come on, let's eat while it's still hot!” He finishes plating our breakfast and whisks it away to the table. I take a seat, watching him buzz around setting the table, and grabbing our drinks. Even so soon after waking up, he was full of energy. Even after the heavy conversation, it didn’t ruin his mood. He notices me watching and offers a big, bright grin. I feel like I’m staring at the sun.

We enjoy breakfast. The conversation stays light, mainly about school or our friends. We exchange funny or weird stories from our childhoods. Before long the weekend slinks by and I make my departure home. we keep in touch, but he makes another suggestion; we should become pen-pals. Thinking the idea is cute and nostalgic, I agree and brush off my stationary set once I arrive at my family home.

[louu-7]

everything i don’t know

on wattpad

CHAPTER 7:

“No, she’s acting weird lately, I don’t think the rumors worked…”

“It has to work, we can’t let her do her things, and sometimes she’ll have to work with us. The problem is her behavior of spoiled rotten little girl. We can’t let her starts to stick her nose into our business, not now, we’re so close and she doesn’t give a shit about what we’re doing. She’ll know when the time will comes.”

“Don’t worry, she’s not gonna mess everything up. She’s not confident enough to face up to you.”

Are they talking about me? I stay where I am and continue to listen to them with attention, stuck against the living room wall. Are they fucking talking behind my back about me, and just put me down like it was normal. And after my Mom’s gonna coming to my room and proposes to go shopping together… bullshit.

“I’m not sure about this anymore, look what she did at the Cameron’s, we can’t continue to go to this kind of events with her.” My Dad seems to contain his anger inside.

Is he that mad at me? What did I do like, I apologized for the Cameron’s… I decide to walk in as if nothing had happened, just to see their reaction. Are they gonna argue or be kind…

“Sweetie, how’s it going?”

“Good.” I try to act normal, but it’s rather delicate when I see how they lie to me. That’s disgusting. “What were you doing?” Asks my Mom to break the silence, as I get some cookies and an apple. “Some work. Not gonna disturb you for too long, I’m just getting these.” I show us what I’m taking and give them a faint smile that burns my lips before coming back to my room.

So on top of being hypocrites with the other Kooks, they’re also hypocrites with their own family. Great, I’ve such a good entourage... I climb up the stairs and lock my door before jumping on my bed and open my laptop to keep my mind off things.

OK. If I understand well, something’s going on in this house, and they think I’m gonna mess everything up, even if I don’t know what they mean. What the hell… and since when they’re hiding things from me? And… what the hell could I do?

Maybe I just should forget it, why do I even care… I don’t have to care anymore about their problems, or anything else. As long as I managed to get out of this house secretly, I also have to play the good girl, not to be suspected to leave and enjoy. Apparently enjoy is a crime here.

Let’s call Sarah, and if never she’s with John B, I could call Kie, and, if she’s with Pope… well, I won’t call anyone.

“Heyy! What’s up babe?” Her screaming voice resonates in my ear.

“Not much.” I laugh as wincing a little. “What happen, you just destroyed my ear.”

“It’s John B’s birthday and I have a gift like, the best ever!”

“Oh, I didn’t know! What’s the gift, I wanna know!” I shout out at my turn, certainly destroying her ear.

“He kinda hates to dress up, so I bought a whole chic outfit, just to joke, and then the true gift will be revealed, it’s a new surf board and it’s awesome! I had the idea that we all could dress up and celebrate at John B’s before going on the marsh, so I give him his outfit, we celebrate and everything, and then you all arrive and I give him the surfboard, and we put music and-”

“Eh, aren’t you a little nervous? “

I laugh and don’t hear any answer form her. The silence is the only response that I got for a while so I frown as I sit up in my bed, is she OK…? “Sarah?”

“Yes, sorry I…” Her sniffing make me feel more and more worried as I completely stand up, concerned about what’s happening. “Eh, what’s wrong?” I ask with a sympathetic voice, this kind of behavior doesn’t feel like her, that’s really troubling to know her in such a state. When she starts to sob quietly I got a pang of emotion, that just makes me shake as tears come into my brown eyes.

“I don’t even know why am I crying.” Her strangled voice stop her from talking as her words become little sob. “Sarah is it serious?”

“Non, no I’m just feeling so-so nervous about today because I-I never loved someone as I love John B and I...”

“Baby, you don’t have to be nervous, you’re the best girlfriend John B could be with and he loves you I swear. Sarah I’m not tellin’ you this because you’re my best friend but, you’re my best friend and you’re gorgeous so don’t be nervous.” I wipe the lonely tear that runs on my cheek and sigh a little. “Thank you, I’m ridiculous I just don’t know how to act, I can’t describe how… I don’t know, I just love him. So much.”

“I know, you guys are so cute and he’s gonna love your gift.” We continue to talk for at least an hour and we eventually stop the call to prepare for the famous birthday of mister Routledge. I’m not sure my whole business family left the house but they’re not gonna lock me in this house today, even less now.

It’s been two weeks that I manage to get out when they left to enjoy my summer, and then I come back before they do and they don’t know anything. Moreover, I’m not sure he’s ready to come in the Cut to search me so, there’s no problem.

Lately I noticed that my parents were at home sooner than usual, so they maybe have doubts, I hear them talking a lot about me, without they know it, and they have million calls, more than before, so I don’t know whats going on but… the ambiance here is weird feel like I’m kind of excluded from all this business. It doesn’t disturb me that much but it’s like they don’t want me to know, and the little talk between my parents earlier confirm my doubts…

I have to admit I prefer to stay away from their things but something changed and I feel so… curious about all this. Curious, but scared. My Dad’s sometimes yelling at the phone like it was a matter of life and death.

Anyway, I but on a tiny bit of makeup and chose to wear a short ruffle blue dress, with thin straps and a V-neck, something pretty and comfy at the same time. Then I put my Converse that I washed a while ago and am perfume myself as someone ring the doorbell. “I’m comin’ babe!”

I go downstairs quickly with my bag full of a chiller outfit, some deodorant and food, check my face in the mirror next to the door and finally open it. My eyes wide and I step back as I discover a broad-shouldered man in front of me, all black dressed except his whit shirt under his suit. “Hum, hello?”

“Thara Abrams?”

“Yes?”

“Follow me.”

“What? No, I don’t even know you.”

“A friend of your parents, they want you to be with them.” Does he think that I’m dumb? Who the hell is this man, I never saw it in my whole life and he says that he’s a friend of my parents, really?

“And how could I be sure about what you’re saying?”

“Because they charged me to pick you up maybe?”

“Drop dead.” I shut the door in his face without him stopping me from doing it and I breath. I didn’t notice but my heartbeats are too quick to be normal, and my hands are shaking. Why am I so nervous, he’s nobody.

What if he’s right? Since when my parents send someone to pick me up like… they never did it, I don’t understand why would they do it now. I grab my phone and call my Dad to get some answers to the questions that cross my mind.

“Yes, what’s wrong?”

“Did you send someone to take me to the vineyard with you?” He sigh and doesn’t respond to my question. S it probably means that’s true. “Just follow him darling, he’s a friend.”

“‘Darling’? Really?”

“Don’t make me come and do what I say Thara.” I hang up the phone and run my fingers in my hair as a sigh escape from my lips. Like I said, there’s something wrong, that’s obvious. My phone rings and I see Sarah’s face on the screen.

“Girl who’s the man in front of your door?”

“He’s still here? Oh, fuck…”

“Who’s it?”

“I don’t know, he wants to take me to the vineyard of my father, just…” I stop to talk as an idea is emerging in my mind, and a crooked smile is drawing on my lips. “Thara?”

“Yeah, I have a plan, wait me at the police station, I’ll be there quickly.”

“Be careful girl, we don’t know this man.”

“He doesn’t look like a criminal, and moreover he doesn’t even really look like a smart-ass.” We laugh a little before hanging the phone and I breath again. I don’t even know why would it be dangerous. That’s totally OK, he’s just not ready for what I got in mind.

I re-open the door and fake a smile that he seems to see as a smile of excuse. Not a smart boy… “I’m sorry I just lost my composure. You’re well-dressed, nice suit.” I continue to smile and walk until the car to get in, next to the driving seat. He take place in front of the steering wheel. He starts the car in silence and he drives toward the vineyard. “Can we please stop to the Starbucks? I rarely get out of the house, it would be a pleasure to drink something better than water of fruit juice. But just if you’re OK.”

“Yeah, of course, but be quick please.”

“Thank you, I really appreciate. Do you know where is it?” He confusedly says no, so I change a little my plan and tell him the direction to the police station. I don’t think he’ll understand until we park before I get out of the car to run away.

Once arrived I take my bag and look at him, a grateful air on my face. “Thank you for this ride monsieur.” I open the car door and put a first foot on the ground. “It was a pleasure but I’m pretty busy, say hi to my dear daddy.”

“What, no!”

When his voice resonate in the street my feet are already running on the concrete toward the black Volvo of Sarah, parked some meters further away. She gets in the car and I do the same, out of breath and a victorious smile on my face. It feels amazing.

“Starts the car, c’mon!” We laugh and leave the police station parking to drive through some little streets that the smart-ass is not gonna know to follow us. “Thank you, you saved me.” I manage to say, short-winded. “You’re welcome. We should do this more often, it was cool!”

“Yeah, but not to much if I don’t wanna die before the end of the summer.”

“Oh” she looks at me as she slows down. your father, “I forgot about it, we never should’ve do that he’s gonna kill you… I’m sorry if you want I can-”

“No, he’s not gonna say anything, it’s OK. I’ll find something. Let’s have a good time.”

She agrees by nodding quietly her head and I raise my eyebrows. “Sarah that’s OK, my father’s not killer anyway.” I laugh and she sighs in a smile before telling me to shut up.

We arrived at John B’s and Sarah explain to me that we all arrive well-dressed, she gives him his outfit, we party and then we give him the surfboard. When she finishes talking she starts to feel some pressure.

“He’s gonna love it. Let’s go, I’m sure he can’t wait anymore to see you, and I’m also sure that the only thing he wants is you, so don’t be antsy.”

“Yeah, OK, it’s gonna be perfect.”

“Of course it is!”

We get out of the car together as the three others John B’s friends arrive, all really prepared and clean and beautiful. That’s so cool, he’s gonna love it. I don’t know John B for a long time but he’s a really cool guy, big-hearted and completely in love with my girl. And he accepted me, not like a certain blond who can’t stand me, not yet. I think it’s fro never.

We all say hello to each other, almost all, and walk to the door of the chateau. Kinda good name thought.

Sarah’s knocking at the door as we all wait, a smile on our faces. He opens the door, bleary-eyed and confused of our presence. Is eyebrows are frowning and his shoulders raising as a yawn escape from his mouth. “Happy birthday!” We all shout out, and Pope and JJ are jumping on him to piss him of gently.

They push him on the bed to crush him while laughing, and the girls and I are just… present? Yeah, we’re not really useful for the moment.

“Guys c’mon, get off!”

“Happy birthday old man!” JJ yell before tousle the brown hair of his best friend. Once they finish to tease John B, they all stand up and we look at them. They’re kids. They’ll be kids until the end of their life. “Thank girls, that’s really, hum, nice.”

He steps toward Sarah and the smile on her face widen. They kiss so softly that it adds something romantic in this non-romantic ambiance, before a pillow hits John B’s head and stop them. Kiara and I just burst out laughing as the face of the old man raise his face. I laugh so much that my abs hurt, then Sarah gives him his outfit.

He put it on and come back, her eyebrows raised. “Dude I never saw you prepared and you decide to do it for my birthday, what a gift bro.” He pats JJ’s shoulder and put his other arm behind Pope’s back.

We go take the cake in the car with Sarah and come back as we all starts to sing the happy birthday song. John B’s eyes are sparkling and when my phone suddenly ring in my bag a bad feeling capture me and I wince as they all look at me, singing.

“Fuck I’m so sorry… I ruin everything…”

The desire to leave this room and just go away is completely present in me, and I don’t even know why. Something like this can happen to everyone one but, I already struggle a lot to prove that it’s not because I’m a ‘kook’ that I can’t be a good person, even if they don’t always seem convinced and it makes me so nervous, so ruining everything makes me feel like shit.

I grab my phone and get out of the house not to disturb even more the celebration and see my father’s face on my screen. “Fuck… I sigh and pick up. Hi, Dad… what’s u-”

“Thara what’s going on in your head!” He yells so loud that I can move my phone a little away. “Where are you and… Are you thinking about your acts or are you just disobeying to everything I told you to do, because this little game is over, you come back home now.”

“No, Dad not now please it’s important and-”

“I don’t care!” His deep voice make me shiver and I grit my teeth, upset but scared as fuck. “Let me just today I swear I won’t disobey again please let me today and I-”

“Because you think that I believe you? Are you that much naive?”

My heart’s kind of… breaking like, in a million pieces when his words resonate in an echo in my head. Some tears run automatically on my cheeks as I try to stop them. “How do…” my strangled voice prevent me from saying anything more and the silence is the only noise that we can hear.

“Thara you come back home now and we’ll talk about it tonight. And don’t think you’ll ever get out of this house again. How can you be that ridiculous, do you think I didn’t notice your new behavior of perfect little girl?”

Tears can’t stop to run my cheeks and my face is soon sinking into tears as my heart’s almost dying when his insults come one after on, moving me so much that my body shakes a little. “Oh, you’re crying? Don’t think that I care, you can’t just play the rebel and then crap out like a coward. See you tonight at home, Alyssa’s at home to see if you come back.”

He hangs up the phone before I answer anything, but anyway I don’t think I have the strength to… What is wrong with him…

I stay here for a while and look around to see if I can sit somewhere and not totally ruin the party. It’s supposed to be the best day of the year for one of them so I’m not destroying everything Sarah prepared for him. I walk toward a tree and sit in front of the water, in a silence broke by my sniffle.

My tears are flooding my face and I can’t stop to wipe my eyes if I want to see something. His words are in repeat in my mind, I just can’t stand these things that just got out of his mouth so naturally, to talk about me.

I feel like these are the words he never could told me before, so he took advantage of the situation to hurl me insults and prove me that I’m nothing.

I feel like I’ve never been nothing.

[thotteus-beaumont]

(Oh oh it’s magic) When I’m with you

Summary: {Just a cute little High-School AU!}

:Pete and Henry had been casually hooking for around 3 years now. Neither of them had the courage to mention it in a way that wasn’t just a request for more...

:The Beav was what filled the holes in each of their hearts, he was the rock and roll playing on their radios. Beaver was probably the first great love of each of their lives...at least, it felt that way to Jonesy who’d loved him since the kiddie school days...

(I’m still new to writing for these characters! Hope this is ok?) 

{Lifted a chunk of dialogue from this ficlet  that I did for Pete/Henry cause I loved it & wanted to use it for a bigger fic. SO the words are the same but it’s in different context now.}

Ships: Pete/Henry & Jonesy/Beaver 

Word Count:  4,681

{Tuesday Afternoon}

Pete and Henry had been casually hooking for around 3 years now. Neither of them had the courage to mention it in a way that wasn’t just a request for more.

It was getting close to what would be their 3rd Summer, it was hot and they were parked outside some building that sold lawn sprinkler systems. Pete’s mouth was kind of full when he heard Henry’s moan transition to more of an excited gasp. He popped off to glance up, the radio was now much louder in his ears

“Summer, it turns me upside down Summer, summer, summer It’s like a merry go round…”

“Really?” He scrunched up his nose and swiped the back of his palm over his mouth to which  Henry responded by pouting.

“Hey, you’re not done down there, Pete.” He chuckled and grabbed at the boys hand, they could joke about it but that was about it.

“Pretty sure that I am if you’re more focused on the radio than me.” Pete shrugged and crawled back onto the bench seat next to him. The night air outside was deadly silent and they both knew how the other man hated that. So Pete decided to get talkative as he casually threw his arm over Henry’s shoulders while the man made himself decent again. But Henry had other plans-

“When I’m with you (Oh oh it’s magic) Just a little magic You know it’s true I gotta hold on you…”

“This detour was very much appreciated but...we should probably get going, huh?” Pete scrunched up his nose when Henry wiggled away and went for the steering wheel again. The two of them were in desperate need of some alone time and fooling around in the car was getting uncomfortable these days....so off they went because 

on half-days of school, it seemed that a silent agreement went into motion that each grade would go somewhere different & specific to celebrate.

Freshman were designated the crummy little McDonald’s where they could comfortably cause a scene yet miraculously not be kicked out.

Sophomores got the Sub-Sandwich joint that was quite the walk away from the school and got your order right most of the time.

Juniors were at the warm pizza shop with the most delicious slices a person could ever ask for.

Seniors were basically living in the BBQ restaurant. It was the staple of their crummy little town and deservedly so.

And Pete and Henry were now laying side by side on Pete’s rickety twin-sized bed, happily skipping the tradition. Pete was propped up by his forearm which was gradually falling deeply into sleep and his spare was hanging in the air while his fingers curled and uncurled around Henry’s arm. The sun was coming in through the window and leaving the tiniest sun-spot against the wall behind them and from where Henry was sitting, it dusted Pete’s face with a golden blush. He scooted over slightly to give his friend some more room but only succeeded in causing another loud shriek of protest from the bed springs.

Henry let his head fall back with a sigh. “God, your bed is so fucking loud.” His hair shook out of his eyes with the sudden movement. “It’s gonna give your parents the wrong idea, you know?” He laughed and pushed Pete’s palm back against the pillows. “And they already don’t like me.”

Pete rolled his eyes and smacked his hand. “My parents love you, man. They like all three of you losers.”

His friends eyebrow shot up with doubt but Pete only continued.

“They talk about you guys all the time. Why do you think I invited you for lunch today-?”

“Easy, you love my company and we needed more room to fool around.” His voice was teasing as he dragged his fingers down from Pete’s now open palm to his elbow. When Henry’s attention was pointed downward, Pete took the time to sigh with subtle disappointment he was too embarrassed to voice after that response. 

“They think you’re good people.” Pete dipped his chin down to emphasize that he really meant it and Henry blinked his eyes away like he always did when things got serious. So Pete took the initiative and grabbed for his left arm when he made the move to bring his fingers back up. “Hey, I’m serious. They are psyched that I have such stand-up friends...y’know, except the Beav.” He let go of Henry’s arm with a laugh. 

Henry hummed quietly and curled his fingers around Pete’s wrist. “Even though I spilled your dad’s soup all over your kitchen table last time I ate here?”

Pete laughed loudly at the memory. “They thought that was funny.”

“Funny?” Henry frowned. “I ruined that tablecloth.”

“Yeah but my parents appreciate funny shit, man.” Pete giggled. “I did not tell them it was because you were trying to play sexy footsie with me and accidentally kicked the table leg.” Pete rolled his lips together to try and conceal his laughter when Henry’s cheeks flushed with a real pink blush.

“Hey! That’s not what I was doing, Pete! I was just...-ok, so I was antsy for action, sue me!” Henry playfully started attempting to roll his body over Pete’s. “That was so fucking embarrassing though!” He kicked his left leg over him and crawled on top, the twin bed’s springs squeaking over and over.

Pete couldn’t stop laughing long enough to remind Henry of the noise but he didn’t much mind with all the wrestling. That was until he started hearing the sound of his mothers footsteps coming up the stairs. There wasn’t enough time to do more than just shove Henry off of him…sending him to the carpet with a soft thud just as his bedroom door creaked open.

“Hey boys, lunch is downstairs when you’re ready.” She smiled, stringing a dish towel through her fingers while she spoke. “And remember not to kill each other, huh?” She shook her head as her eyes fell upon a dizzy looking Henry on the floor.

When she went back along downstairs, Henry smirked. “Kill each other, huh?”

Pete smacked his hands over his face as soon as his mother left and groaned with embarrassment.

“You’re lucky you have carpet, Pete. I smacked my head pretty hard.” Henry teased, crawling over and kneeling in front of where Pete sat on the bed. Slowly he grabbed at his friends wrists and pulled his palms from his eyes.

“That was your own fault.”

“Eh, well.” Henry shrugged. “That may be true but you owe me cause you’re the one who threw me off the bed instead of warning me like a decent person would.” He playfully shook Pete’s wrists and his friend scrunched up his nose.

“I panicked. I didn’t have enough time.” He shrugged and rolled his eyes. “But I’ll get you lunch on my card tomorrow if it makes you happy.” He grinned and wiggled out of his grip so he could start getting up.

Henry only shoved his way between Pete’s legs and grinned. “You’re so good to me, sweetheart.”

A nickname. That was new. There’d never once been an exchange of that kind between the, considering it was strictly a casual thing. Despite how often Pete may have quietly ached for more. 

“You’re an idiot, you know that?” Pete closed his legs around him as tight as he could, figuring it was ok because his mother had mostly shut the door. Henry rested his forearms atop Pete’s thighs and shrugged. 

“Yes. Now, can we please go eat?” Henry asked with a smile. 

Pete nodded but then grabbed at Henry’s hands again, pulling at his long sleeves. “Wait, say that again, would ya?”

Henry paused before he put together what Pete was gettin’ at and his face fell into a unsure kind of expression. It looked neither happy nor too annoyed. Maybe just...confused? He sighed a bit and started to get up with a laugh, figuring Pete was only teasing. “Let’s go, you idiot.” He smacked Pete’s arm gently but it only set bolts of confirming sadness through his friend who was in fact...not teasing at all. 

                           ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Beaver’s legs were completely soaked, the boot-cut jeans were about to stick to his thighs and give him that familiar thick itch he associated with summer camp. But that knowledge didn’t stop him from walking further into the little lake created by the heavy rain of the last few days. 

The water was cupped by the mushy concave grass field outside of the BBQ restaurant. Jonesy watched helplessly from the edge of what was basically a huge puddle while the Beav’s motorcycle jacket rested on his shoulders. 

“-So be true to your school now Just like you would to your girl or guy Be true to your school now.”

Beaver sang out loudly (and obnoxiously) as he continued on his way to the baseball cap floating in the middle of it all. 

The cap had been plucked off the Beav’s head by some piece of shit washed up jock waiter who’d graduated the year before. Good Ol’ Beaver couldn’t resist going at him with that back mouth of his when the dude was bragging about all the great shit he could do now that he was outta high school to a table of girls. 

Yeah, Beaver kicked it off by singing from the next table over (As he so often does)...“Another Saturday night and I ain't got nobody...!”

“Careful Beaver! Don’t wanna drown!” Jonesy laughed from dry land. 

“It ain’t that deep!” Beaver called back, now leaning on one foot to reach the old cap with a sewn on Scooby-Doo patch, it had been a gift from their good buddy Duddits. Beaver’d die before he let that thing get lost. 

“Maybe not for someone of a regular height, buddy!” Jonesy laughed, loudly. “The kiddie pool at Splash-town is too deep for you!” 

Beaver rolled his eyes fondly and held out his middle finger the whole journey outta the water until he came back to his friend, hat in hand. “Piss a penny, Jonesy.” He flicked some water off his hand and happily scampered off with his jacket & bag towards the front of the restaurant, moist hat back on his head. 

The afternoon sun was blazing golden beams down onto Derry with welcomed warmth and intensity. The Beav was practically melting in his motorcycle jacket but kept it on, nonetheless. You had to admire his strength because...

“That jacket must smell terrible.” Jonesy chuckled as he caught up to him next to the red fence with the giant painting of a pig. “How long have you been sweating in that thing now?” 

Beaver shrugged his shoulders. “Plus, it was Randy’s before so...think of all the Clarendon germs this baby’s covered in.” He pulled it tighter and just looked so damn happy in the piece of clothing that Jonesy had to smile. 

The two began to stroll away from the high-school hangout with their hands shoved into their pockets and book-bags still covering their backs like turtle shells. That wonderful feeling of relief from school was still washing over them as it did every weekday. It was a feeling like nothing else, in Jonesy’s experience. 

For his whole life, it meant that he’d get to spend the rest of the day with his buddies. Beaver, Pete, Henry & Douglas. 

There were no better people in the world than those you so desperately wanted to spend time with, that it’d drive you to hide in their homes when your mother came to pick you up. Jonesy couldn’t count the number of times Roberta Cavell had to deal with the three of them hiding in various places just to keep hanging with Duddits. 

“When we get to my house, I wanna go look for a spider in that...-dirty corner in my garage, y’know the one by our old refrigerator?” Beaver elbowed his friend on the arm and Jonesy broke free from his thoughts.

“Spider Corner™? Yeah, I remember.” He nodded as thoughts of chasing each other with the creepy crawlies in the palms of their hands ran through his brain. “What for?”

The Beav smirked. “Randy broke his bedroom door the other day and he can’t shut it or it’ll lock him inside, right?” His grin was classic Beaver and held it’s weight in Jonesy’s heart. “Well, he’ll be sitting in there so I figure...” He gestured with his hand which was still in his pocket. “I’ll grab a bug, throw it in & shut him inside. He’s freaky about spiders.” 

Jonesy giggled. “You should be nicer to your big brother, Beav.” He feigned a stern voice. 

“Jesus-Christ-bananas” He shook his head and smiled. “This is us being nice, Jonesy my boy. Clarendons show affection this way.” He flashed more teeth and hopped further down the sidewalk, over some chalk drawings. 

“Make sure you get one of those fuzzy little fuckers then. Really show him just how much you love him.” Jonesy laughed and broke out into a gentle run when Beaver went off in a laugh riot and sped to the speed of a child running to the swings at the playground.

                             ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pete laid across the white sheets of his bed and enjoyed the sun shower that was breaking through the glass window and warming him up like a microwave meal. 

He’d just gotten out of a cold shower and the water dribbled down from a loose hair which streaked down his cheek like a tear. The bubble of liquid cradled his chin for a few seconds before rolling down his neck and pooling in his collarbone. Pete sighed with pure comfort and delicately turned his head from his lounge position and found his company. 

Henry, always the Moon’s melancholy child in Pete’s opinion, was curled up on the hardwood floor with a textbook open in his lap. It must’ve been Spanish or something of the sort because his brows were furrowed with frustration, an easily recognizable face for Pete who had trouble in a lot of subjects these days. “Two roads diverged in a snowy wood, is that how it goes? Something like that anyway” Henry mumbled to himself as he flipped pages. “I have no idea how to say that in Spanish.” He shoved the back off his lap. 

“I’m gonna fail this test and end up being the laughing-stock of 3rd period Spanish, Pete. How will I live with myself-?” Henry stood with exaggerated dramatics. He threw out his arms with annoyance before giving it up and yawning. “You want a hot-dog?”

Pete hid his grin in the crook of his elbow. “Yeah, sure.”

With that, Henry made his way downstairs to Pete’s kitchen to actually take the time to make them both hot-dog meals. He returned with a neutral grin and two plates full with the thick meal and bags of chips. 

“Oh, you meant an actual hot-dog?” Pete smirked. 

“Yeah, what did you think I-” Henry paused when his eyes found his friends smirk. “Oh.” He rolled his eyes and hopped onto the bed across from him. “Eat your food and we’ll see.” 

Pete took a large bite and enjoyed the way Henry shoved him. They talked mindlessly as they ate. Mostly dumb little things like why Pete didn’t have his planet printed sheets anymore and what they thought Beav & Jonesy were up to. 

Pete was in the middle of a story which required expressive gestures when Henry swallowed the last bit of his food and shot forward for the heated kind of neck-kiss which always began their dirty endeavors. Pete was knocked back a little but happily hummed. “I still have hot-dog in my mouth, asshole.” He mumbled. 

“Swallow it, maybe I’ll feel it go down.” Henry laughed as he continued to suck Pete’s neck. 

Pete broke into a laugh that might cause him to choke on that good ol’ thick dog. “You can be such a weird fucker, Henry.” He managed to croak out the words as he swallowed and tried not to moan. Henry kept kissing until the urge to laugh was too strong to hold back and Pete sighed like he’d just finished off the greatest meal in the world. 

Henry giggled and fell onto his friends chest and Pete blinked so slowly that it looked like he might just drift off into his pure joy. The boy he adored was laughing into his chest with genuine spark and appreciation of the moment. Henry deserved some carefree laughter because he could be such an asshole to himself...put way too much pressure on his shoulders. 

Pete dared to reach out and brush the tips of his fingers up and down Henry’s spine. “Can I talk to you about something-?”

Pete didn’t finish the sentence because Henry noticed something shining between the wall and the bed, he rolled off Pete and grabbed for it. It took all of Pete’s strength not to huff because he knew just what was coming. 

“Why is there two beer bottles shoved down there?” Henry waved the bottle around. “That damn Deli needs to stop letting this shit get to minors, Pete.” Henry now shook it under his friends nose. 

Pete glanced up for a second or two with a face tinged with annoyance. “People drink, Henry-”

“Yeah but you could at least wait until you’re twenty-one to have the drinking problem of a forty-year old, Pete.” Henry didn’t truly intend to be so cold or upfront but the his currently anxiety was enough to burn a small fire in his chest. 

Pete chuckled like it was no big deal and smiled. “I’ll probably be dead before I hit twenty-one anyway-”

Henry rolled the bottle onto the rug but desperately he wanted to chuck it out like he’d once done with big rocks by the lake with his best friends. “Don’t say things like that, asshole.”

Pete paused for a minute or two and rolled his lips together. “Sorry. I’m sorry.” He held up his hands in mock-surrender. “I know I’ve been a piece of work lately…”

Henry thought about making a joke to lighten the mood but decided against. Rather, he finally loosened a bit and turned as best he could to face this boy who was far better than this. Surprising both of them, he reached over to brush some of his wet hair back. 

“And I don’t admit to that…like ever. So, take it while you can.” Pete stole a joke and laughed lightly. But both of them knew he was not too happy and both of them were worried.

“It’s not comforting when you talk like you despise yourself, y’know?” Henry blinked. That comment hadn’t been one of Pete’s worst in the last week nor was it even close to how Henry talked to himself these days. But it sure wasn’t warm. 

It was hard to ignore the man’s self-deprecating attitude which appeared whenever the topic of drinking came up. And none of his friends would ever want to ignore it. In all honesty, it was deeply unsettling but not uncommon to hear the other man talk like that. As long as he’d known him, Pete put on a front that he was some confident man. It was so smooth and effortless that it was entirely convincing. Hearing him crack jokes and smirk at his own extroverted personality gave the illusion that it wasn’t stemming from insecurity. 

Henry quickly saw through the facade because it wasn’t all that different from what he did.

“Like you’re any better.” Pete countered him and Henry leaned back as if slightly blown away by the little gasp he let out. “You’ve casually hated yourself for months now.” Pete’s voice was soft but fully believing of his statement, as if not realizing how hard-hitting that accusation was. But it came from genuine concern and familiarity. Henry’s stomach twisted. 

The air between them turned a little spoiled and thick. Neither man knew how to move on from the subject. “I'd like to talk with you. And I mean, I'd like to really talk with you.” Pete sat up and leaned against his wall. Henry nodded and crossed his legs. 

“How close are we?” Pete asked and Henry smiled despite the odd mood change between them.

“The closest friends can be.” He gently thumped his friends leg but Pete just swallowed. 

“What do I mean to you?” He blurted his insecurity right then and there in question form. It would have been nice to see the multiple choice bubbles Henry had in his mind, picking one to fill-in.

"What do you mean to me?” Henry repeated. "Pete, you're my best friend. The five of us are...something else, man.” He looked concerned and a little confused as he answered.  

“I know, man. And I - I know -...I know I'm your friend. And that’s a great thing. It’s just-” Pete looked away again and rolled his lips together. “But...three years of...?” He gestured between the two of them. “Do you...? I mean because I-...”

Henry blinked and felt any words he could possibly say get stuck in his throat. 

“I think I kinda...y’know?” Pete looked absolutely miserable yet semi-hopeful. 

Henry almost choked on his own spit at the sentiment he hadn’t ever expected to bloom. He supposed feelings developed in situations like theirs but...he had never thought about it that way, himself. But looking at Pete’s sincere eyes...well for once it made him think about it. 

“I-...I love you. I mean, all of you guys but you...Henry -” Pete frowned and picked at his shoe. “I dunno...I don’t expect anything from you. It’s fine, Henry. Really. I can go right back to being Norman Normal.” he spoke because the silence was driving him crazy. 

Pete glanced down at the empty beer bottle and suddenly wished it was full and going at rocket-speed down his throat. He shrugged and pretended he was on the fucking moon. "It doesn't have to change anything," he said, not sure if he was pleading or promising.

"You – you love me," Henry pointed out, with a neutral face "How can that not change anything?"

Pete let out a bitterly amused chuckle. “It hasn’t changed anything in three years, Henry.” He rolled his eyes and leaned off the bed to pick up the bottle and twirl it in his hands just to have something do. 

“All that time-?” Henry’s face turned into concern which only seemed to trigger annoyance in Pete. It actually looked like he’d kicked Henry in the gut or something. The comment made him flinch...actually flinch. “I feel like such an asshole.” 

Leave it to Henry to take the responsibility. Pete softened. “I wouldn’t love ya if you were an asshole, pal.” He bumped the tip of the brown bottle against Henry’s thigh and tried to give him a grin worthy of taking Beaver’s best smile title. 

Henry only looked sadder. Shouldering a man’s love for you was a responsibility and would be difficult if you just weren’t sure how you felt. 

                             ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“BEAVER! Get down! That thing is so fucking old.” Jonesy shouted into his cupped hands and tried to stare up at his friend who was currently standing atop the roof of his garage. He was burning through all of his after-school energy with spark. Jonesy couldn’t think of a better way to spend his day. 

The Beav was what filled the holes in each of their hearts, he was the rock and roll playing on their radios. Beaver was probably the first great love of each of their lives...at least, it felt that way to Jonesy who’d loved him since the kiddie school days.

The day was beginning to dwindle into the latest afternoon, the sky looking like burnt toast. Beaver was looking down at his friend with pure energy and sincere admiration. He felt like a kid again, after a long day of rolling around in the grass. 

Randy hadn’t been happy about today’s activities and vowed to get Beaver back for the damn spider but he couldn’t be bothered. “Kiss my bender, Jonesy. Get your scaredy-cat ass up here or piss fire!” He laughed madly and Jonesy felt amusement flow through his body though he wasn’t quite sure what that one meant. 

He took to climbing the side of the garage and tumbled atop the flat roof next to Beaver, who was now laying on his back with heavy breaths.

Unbeknownst to his friend, Beaver turned his mind to dreams of driving down a large scenic street. The radio playing loudly and Jonesy sitting in the passenger seat, probably rattling on about some horror movie he saw. Beaver would have to turn the radio down to listen but he wouldn’t mind in the slightest. 

He rolled his tooth-pick to the other side of his mouth and when Jonesy smiled-....Beaver opened his lips slightly as he admired but the wooden stick instantly shot down Beav’s throat.

He sat up and started cough his guts out, hoping to fuckin’ God, Jesus or John Lennon...whoever was listening...that he’d eventually see the stick in the pool of spittle. 

He cradled his neck in his hands and tried to shoot the damn painful thing out. It finally tore free when Jonesy thumped his back and the pointy little asshole flew over the roof and somewhere onto the grass below. “Bitch-in-a-buzzsaw, I almost just fuckin’ died!” He keeled over with laughter and desperately held onto the little wall in front of them. 

Jonesy burst into giggles too and tried not to do that little wheezy-whistle laugh that sometimes escaped his lips when he laughed too hard. But Beaver hoped to John Lennon that he’d slip it out. “Oh, but to die in your arms is such a heavenly thought, Gariella.” Beaver leaned back into his friend with dramatics very familiar to him. 

Jonesy shoved him off and laughed even harder. “You should be so lucky, Beav. The last thing you’d get to see on this earth is this.” He gestured to his face and feigned a flashy smile. 

“I’d love that.” Beaver winked and felt his heartbeat pick-up speed. Jonesy stood and held out a hand to help his friend without second thought.

When Beaver was pulled up, he found that Jonesy did not let go of his hand and instead started to swing their grip with blissful comfort. He blushed. He’d been feeling a mixture of things recently and a whole lotta something for Jonesy. But he just didn’t see it coming to fruition. But this was...something? Wasn’t it? Maybe his friend was just worried he would go tipping off the side of the roof which could be a possibility, knowing himself. 

“Is this a thing we do now, hold hands?” Beaver asked with a smug, teasing tone because he brought attention to things when he was nervous.

Jonesy looked back at him and rolled his eyes. “Nothing gets past you, Beav.” He chuckled and put-on a face that seemingly only he could pull-off. Half-bothered, half-amused.

Beaver didn’t verbally respond and instead opted to smack the back of his friends head gently with his right hand. 

“You always cheer me up, man.” Jonesy sighed with happy relief when they climbed down and sat back in the grass.

“You needed some cheering up? From what?” He narrowed his eyes but Jonesy only shrugged. 

“Just life sometimes. We’re Seniors - minus Pete - and the world is waiting for us to make something of it. Very stressful but you always got something to make the day better. I love ya for that.” Jonesy happily leaned his head on his friends shoulder but Beav found a deep sort of depression in his gut. It was not the kind of love confession he wanted...and the job was a difficult one...

Shouldering the happiness for his friend was quite the responsibility and sometimes it just got hard for Beaver when his own feelings got confusing. 

[purplesurveys]

686

1. What previews did you see at the last movie you saw in theaters? I don’t even remember dude. I do remember the last movie I saw in the cinema was Knives Out, but we were too late to see the previews and arrived exactly when the movie started. The movie I saw before that wasssssss Portrait of a Lady on Fire, but that was so long ago I definitely don’t remember the previews that showed beforehand – or if there were any, at all. 2. Have you ever washed your hair with mayonnaise? Ok I love mayonnaise, but that shit goes in my mouth and not anywhere else in my body lmao. 3. How many things are you a fan of on Facebook? I stupidly liked so many pages when I was 14 and new to Facebook...it must be in the hundreds. I think I still like most of them, but I’m just too lazy to unlike each of them. 4. Do you have more friends on Myspace or Facebook? Facebook is a sure winner here because I don’t even have a Myspace.

5. What generation iPod do you have? I don’t know...it’s an iPod from 2008, though. The really thin one that comes with games, and the screen is already colored. 

6. What celebrities share your birthday? James McAvoy and Queen Elizabeth II are the biggest names I think. I Googled to confirm anyway and it turns out I share a birthday with Iggy Pop too. Pretty diverse group lmao. 7. What's your first and last name spelled backwards? Nybor, and that’s all you’re getting now. 8. What song is playing at the moment? No song, just two electric fans whirring loudly here in the first floor, and my sister watching a playthrough of some game she’s into on YouTube. 9. Do you clench your teeth when you're angry? Ugh no. I hate the feeling/texture/sound of grinding my teeth. I find it a little disturbing and I wince when I hear someone doing it in their sleep :/ 10. Have you ever been to a movie that sold out? Yeah, Killing of A Sacred Deer was surprisingly sold out when we watched it. Then again we were in the part of the city where people are more likely to watch films like that, so maybe it’s not that surprising after all. Other movies I remember being sold out was the entire Twilight Saga HAHAHA. I went to 4/5 midnight screenings and the cinema was packed every time.

11. Have you ever been to a midnight movie? ^ Just mentioned it. 12. It's 2010; are you gonna say oh-ten, twenty ten, or two thousand ten? I always say twenty-ten. 13. How many of your classes change next quarter? Next semester? I graduate next semester...hopefully. This virus is really ruining my life plans for 2020, especially as a graduating student who was expecting to graduate by June and get a job by like, September. 14. Do you believe in the paranormal? Only ghosts. 15. How old are the shoes you're wearing? I’m barefoot at the moment. I haven’t been outside in a WHILE, so I haven’t had to wear shoes in a while as well. 16. What's your state's weather usually like this time of year? The Philippines is a relatively tiny country so our weather from the northernmost to southernmost tips are uniform. That being said, March to June is our summer season so the *country’s weather is very humid and excruciatingly hot for now. Temperature usually plays around 34-37C, but the heat index can reach 42C. 17. Do you get those leg cramps in the middle of the night? I used to get them quite often as a kid - it would wake me up at 4 AM and I’d usually be crying by the end; I couldn’t scream because I never wanted to wake everyone up, so I’d just cry until it was over. 18. What movie last made you too scared to go to sleep? Midsommar didn’t make me too scared to sleep, but for a short time it made me terrified of flowers and the color white. 19. Do you have a Twitter account? Sure. 20. Did Obama deserve the Nobel Peace Prize he was awarded? Oh he won it? That’s pretty cool. I dunno enough about his presidency other than he seems to be ~hipper than all the other US presidents and is generally more well-loved, but I don’t want to make a stand so hastily. 21. Is your cell phone a qwerty (full keyboard) or no? Yeah, touchscreen qwerty. 22. What was the last website you logged onto (besides the one you're on)? WWE Network!!! Just today they announced that they were gonna give free access to the Network, which means thousands of hours’ worth of pay-per-views, shows, and documentaries. I made a WWE account just for it and I’ve already downed two documentaries this morning. 23. What's your home page? It’s a Google Chrome extension called Momentum. I’m too lazy to describe the features so I’ll just show you what it looks like when I open Chrome/a new tab.

24. Put a line from the song you're listening to right now: I’m not listening to a song rn but I do have everything i wanted by Billie Eilish stuck in my head for a few minutes now. A lyric goes: I had a dream / I got everything I wanted / Not what you’d think / And if I’m being honest, it might’ve been a nightmare / To anyone who might care.

25. Music artists you listen to: Are they a little or a lot older than you? They’re typically close to my age, like maybe 4-10 years older than me. The oldest artist I listen to is probably Beyoncé? 26. What always has to be in the refrigerator? For us, eggs. 27. What was your favorite movie of 2009? The Proposal. 28. What do you want for Christmas? That’s sort of a long way from now, dude. By that time I’d have grown a bit and will probably ask for a vacuum cleaner lmaaaaao. 29. If you could go to three places in the world right now: UPTC, Feliz, and a Starbucks. I just want to be out of my actual village – I don’t even want to go anywhere far after this. 30. How many days until your birthday? I was too lazy to do math but Google says it’s 28 days away. 31. Who are you crushing on right now? (Famous or not, it's your call.) Gabie, Kristen Stewart, and Lee Joo Youngggggg. 32. Do you squish bugs or put them in a glass and let them outside? I squish them especially if they’re being annoying, soz. 33. Do you have split ends? I recently got my hair done, so no.

34. Isn't it ridiculous that movie theaters sell hot dogs and nachos? It is pretty stupid considering they’re messy food and you’ll have to eat them in a really dark room. Where I’m from they allow any kind of food in the theatres, so we aren’t restricted to hotdogs and nachos. My go-to food is Potato Corner french fries, since they’re easy to pick up and would never have a strong smell, or make a noise or a mess. 35. What school subject do you absolutely fail at? I don’t think I ever got past an 85 in chemistry in high school. 36. When you're on a laptop, do you hook up a mouse or use the touchpad? I have a touchpad. I’ve never owned a mouse. 37. When's the next day(s) off you'll get at school? Literally right now until April 14th. It’s a lockdown, dude. 38. If you're learning a language, what year are you in? I’m not. My curriculum doesn’t require me to take language electives. I did take Spanish and Korean in Duolingo in the past out of boredom/curiosity, though. I lasted a few levels into Spanish because of its similarities with Filipino, but they have like a million verb tenses and that’s when it got too much for me. Korean was pretty difficult right from the start. 39. Do you think you're done growing or will you grow a couple more inches? Nah, this is it I think. 40. What's your mom's mom's name? Agnes. 41. Do you replace "and" with an ampersand (&)? No, it looks so informal to me. 42. What do you usually get at school for lunch? I don’t have a usual lunch; it depends on what we have at home, because I typically just bring food from home to school. 43. Have you ever encountered a creepy neighbor? I don’t think so. If I did, my brain probably blocked the memory already. 44. How many texts can your phone's inbox hold before it's too full? As far as I know it doesn’t have a limit and just depends on my phone’s overall capacity.   45. Do you like the foam soap or the liquidy soap? I use a liquidy one, so I’ll go with that. 46. Do you like the automatic sinks or the ones with hot and cold handles? Lmao, first of all our country’s not even rich enough for this question. We just have a basic sink. We get whatever temperature is available and we need to turn a knob to have the water running. 47. What day did/does your birthday fall on this year? It’ll fall on a Tuesday, which suckssss because it’s a weekday and I have weekly Tuesday meetings for this semester. It’s also the first week out of the coronavirus lockdown, and I doubt people will even be paying attention to birthdays by then. 48. Do you tend to lean towards bright colors or more subtle colors? Subtle ones. 49. Do you use British spelling even though you're not British? No. 50. Name the farthest/weirdest/most unique place you've ever been: Farthest: Bali, Indonesia Weirdest: There was this park in Palawan that just didn’t fit with the city’s atmosphere at all lmao. Let me look it up... Baker’s Hill. It had tons of vibrantly-colored figurines, decorations peppered with cheesy pick-up lines, and Valentine’s decor (hearts, streamers, etc) spread all over the place. I couldn’t understand what it was supposed to be and it was a surreal experience overall lol. Most unique: Sagada. It didn’t feel like I was in the Philippines for the 3 days I was there.

[sadb0ysims]

THE SIMSELF TAG featuring yours truly and her wonderful assistant, antoinette

1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? mia and thats all ur getting out of me

2. WHAT IS YOUR NICKNAME? oh god we have some embarrassing ones but jordan and jords are nicknames of mine and u might be able to guess the other obvious ones dgjhfdj

3. BIRTHDAY? february 25th babey

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK SERIES? OH uhh princess diaries by meg cabot probably

5. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ALIENS OR GHOSTS? not to sure about those funky alien dudes but ehh yeah i believe in ghosts

6. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE AUTHOR? i’d say michael morpurgo but that’s probably because his books were shoved down my throat at an early age DKJDFGJ if you can have a favourite poet i can answer this: atticus and lang leav

7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RADIO STATION? radio one probably!!

8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF ANYTHING? the purple one. like, starburst? purple. wine gum? purple

9. WHAT WORD WOULD YOU USE OFTEN TO DESCRIBE SOMETHING GREAT OR WONDERFUL? being the millenial i am probably Uh...li...litty

10. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE SONG? OH Hm i’d say ocean eyes by billie eilish

11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WORD? Hm!

12. WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO?  copycat by billie eilish!!

13. WHAT TV SHOW WOULD YOU RECOMMEND FOR EVERYBODY TO WATCH? LIE TO ME IS THE UNDER APPRECIATED SERIES OF THE CENTURY

14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE TO WATCH WHEN YOU’RE FEELING DOWN? oh uhh i don’t watch films a lot and especially not if i’m feeling?? sad

15. DO YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES? never heard of them

16. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? OH jesus lets say. being forgotten or making no difference in the world

17. WHAT IS YOUR BEST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? oh Jesus not a lot of these GJFDH over the past mm month or so i’d say i’ve grown a lot as a person in the fact that i have more respect for myself than i used to, and if i have an opinion on something i evaluate it and decide Do People Really Need To Know? (DPRNTK)

18. WHAT IS YOUR WORST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? EASY my weird. defense mechanism thing. i’ve gotten a bit better in my opinion but the reason i’m usually in so much trouble is because as soon as i’m attacked, i act with anger? its some weird defensive wall that i put up and regret later because i’m not really thinking like a rational person. i just see that i’m being attacked and my first thought is to fight back

19. DO YOU LIKE CATS OR DOGS BETTER? OH cats because i haven’t had one in ages. one of our cats was run over and the other was taken by our neighbours and now he doesn’t even remember us or respond to his name so thats really fun

20. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? SUMMER because my skin turns olive in the summer and right now. a bitch is pale! also school is so much nicer in the summer... the whole yeargroup feels like much more of a community because we all sit together outside n it’s just overall very fun and makes me nostalgic of year 7

21. ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP? bitch u really thought-

22. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU MISS FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD? still in it but. because of a lot of things i was forced to grow up very fast. something i miss is having everyone in the house (my siblings are both a lot older than me so they’re never around) and not having to worry about fitting into certain stereotypes or WASHING MY HAIR!!!!!

23. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND? oh god ok so i have a “best friend” but we don’t. agree on a lot of things and she takes everything i say 100% seriously so even though we’re not close i’d consider this group of boys from my school my best friends. and online ofc i have Many Many good friends which i would name but i dont wanna leave anyone out bc i talk to A Lot of people DGHDFJ

24. WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR? blue blue blue

25. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? blonde babey

26. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU LOVE? my brother

27. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU TRUST? would say myself but sometimes i’m not even sure i can trust HER

28. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? i think about people loads because im a lonely romantic so. i’d say Love Interest and i think about myself a whole lot too like who does this bitch think she is

29. ARE YOU CURRENTLY EXCITED ABOUT/FOR SOMETHING? all the time i’m looking forward to things bc. not a whole lot happens in my life so if Love Interest looks at me a certain way i’ll look forward to going to school for the next couple weeks FDJGHFDJ

30. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST OBSESSION? i think of the future way too much. she’s a dreamer

31. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW AS A CHILD? oh god uhhh i used to cry at in the night garden all the time when it ended bc i hated that iggle piggle sailed away on his boat DJHFD it was probably still my favourite though

32. WHO OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER CAN YOU TELL ANYTHING TO, IF ANYONE? i had a best friend who moved away after year seven and i feel like i could but. who knows we haven’t seen each other for years

33. ARE YOU SUPERSTITIOUS? sigh i think so like does it count if my tarot deck says not to do something because. i trust those tarot bitches with all my soul if i have one

34. DO YOU HAVE ANY UNUSUAL PHOBIAS? don’t like the dark, i have a fear of holes, can’t sleep without the door open, can’t sleep when i can see in a mirror (fun fact theres a mirror in my room but it’s on a shelf which i can barely see at night like. i can see a glimpse. but knowing it’s there freaks me out so its flipped and has something covering it)

35. DO YOU PREFER TO BE IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA OR BEHIND IT? oh ummmm in front i guess because 1. i look horrible in photos other people have taken of me 2. technically being in front of it. you can still take selfies and 3. the people i know take pictures from really weird angles

36. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HOBBY? we love a bit of vidya games but i love reading poetry because i’m a whore and also i like singing but that doesn’t mean im good at it!

37. WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? UHHH god i really dont read uhh probably lullabies by lang leav

38. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? romeo and juliet (the blessed one featuring young leo dicaprio)

39. WHAT MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? i can play the guitar, the recorder, a bit of the piano

40. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL? GIRAFFES it’s really sad that they’re now endangered. if ur talkin domestic pets i love guinea pigs, cats and (i’ve never had them but rats

41. WHAT ARE YOUR TOP 5 FAVORITE TUMBLR BLOGS THAT YOU FOLLOW? don’t. this’ll turn into a follow forever and i won’t get any clout bc it’s in such a long post !

42. WHAT SUPERPOWER DO YOU WISH YOU HAD? OH hm. i thought as hard as my tiny brain could about this and i think teleportation would be interesting but if we can choose ANY superpower. is magic one? that’d b pretty wack

43. WHEN AND WHERE DO YOU FEEL MOST AT PEACE? when i’m walking to school at half 7 in the morning and no one’s there and i can hear the trees lining the field rustling in the wind in the distance. it was rainng this morning and even though my whole ass was exposed from the wind and i was soaking it was really peaceful. also there’s a red kite that’s resident to our school field and i love to stand there in the morning and watch it sometimes

44. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE? feeling included DGJHDJ doesn’t happen a whole lot

45. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? i play a lot of sports because i’m in school obviously but i’m really good at rugby bc a bitch is Tactical and Nimble. i love hockey and badminton and stuff though

46. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DRINK? i LOVE smoothies and milkshakes and everything ugh. i’d be bold enough to say i love drinks more than i love food. like apple juice orange juice MIXED juice smoothies BROWN BAG MILKSHAKES! BITCH! THE STRAWBERRY ONE IS SO GOOD UGH

47. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A HAND-WRITTEN LETTER OR NOTE TO SOMEBODY? oh jesus um. 4 years ago

48. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? fuck yeah brother

49. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? UGH A LOT OF THINGS like. people biting their nails. people tapping their foot on my chair. people not listening when you’re explaining something THEY needed help with. tapping a pen on a desk or clicking it on and off

50. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A CONCERT? nop

51. ARE YOU VEGAN/VEGETARIAN? my mother is a vegetarian so i eat a lot of vegetarian meals. sometimes i get really put off meat but like. a bitch is 13 and doesn’t pay for her own meals so she doesn’t really get a say in what she eats

52. WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP? always wanted to entertain people and be nationally recognised. take that as u will

53. WHAT FICTIONAL WORLD WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE IN? TOO MANY let’s go... the arcana so i can marry the 1 (one) love of my life dr julian ilyushka devorak... chill in the hanged man’s realm...

54. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WORRY ABOUT? i don’t worry about a lot not gonna lie to u

55. ARE YOU SCARED OF THE DARK? cheers i’ll drink to that broe

56. DO YOU LIKE TO SING? if the screeching sound i make to a slight tune counts as singing then. yes

57. HAVE YOU EVER SKIPPED SCHOOL? not illegally but i’ve had days off sick where i wasn’t sick bc i couldn’t be asked

58. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE ON THE PLANET? alone

59. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE? somewhere safe

60. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? yeah i have a dog and a cat but as i said m cat got taken by my neighbours and doesn’t even remember us so sjfhdjg

61. ARE YOU MORE OF AN EARLY BIRD OR A NIGHT OWL? night owl but if i’m rested well enough i love being up early

62. DO YOU LIKE SUNRISES OR SUNSETS BETTER? sunsets

63. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE? no a bitch is 13

64. DO YOU PREFER EARBUDS OR HEADPHONES? probably headphones bc i can’t lose them and the sound quality is better but i’m not a MONSTER so earphones. also headphones automatically make old people scoff at u and hate u more

65. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? nah

66. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC? whatever’s poetic enough to be On Brand

67. WHO IS YOUR HERO? don’t really have one

68. DO YOU READ COMIC BOOKS? no

69. WHAT MAKES YOU THE MOST ANGRY? the holier than thou attitude Often showcased on simblr by some. familiar faces

70. DO YOU PREFER TO READ ON AN ELECTRONIC DEVICE OR WITH A REAL BOOK? it doesn’t really make a difference

71. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? computer science (mainly for the people because right now we’re just making fucking. powerpoints) or english bc of the people again

72. DO YOU HAVE ANY SIBLINGS? yee a brother and a sister

73. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? christmas presents and some perfume & a purse for me

74. HOW TALL ARE YOU? 5′4

75. CAN YOU COOK? not well

76. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU LOVE? attention DFJHGSDJ uhh being kind to people who deserve it and hard work paying off

77. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU HATE? patronization, people who believe their opinion is the only opinion and people who cause minor inconveniences for you for no reason

78. DO YOU HAVE MORE FEMALE FRIENDS OR MORE MALE FRIENDS? more female probably but i prefer guys

79. WHAT IS YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION? i say bisexual but no one’s ever been close enough to let me find out

80. WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE? party in the UK

81. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TEXTED? kyla rosymiel

82. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? UHHH i really can’t remember i know me and kyla were talking about something and i started crying JGFHDGJ

83. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE YOUTUBER? oh god umm probably smii7y but i also really like all his friends like. kryoz etc

84. DO YOU LIKE TO TAKE SELFIES? when i look good FJDHSJD

85. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE APP? would say tumblr but she’s gone ! right now i’m really feeling zepeto bc It May Be Tracking Me but it lets me take pics with all my online friends and i have some sort of weird following on there SDFHSDJ

86. WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENT(S) LIKE? i don’t think i’ll ever be able to fully confide in them, i really like my dad but there’s elements of him that don’t really float my boat. same with my mum but i’m less close with her

87. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOREIGN ACCENT? probably australian or. is it swiss? might be swiss.

88. WHAT IS A PLACE THAT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO, BUT YOU WANT TO VISIT? france and ofc america

89. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 4

90. CAN YOU JUGGLE? with like 2 things skdghsd

91. ARE YOU RELIGIOUS? not really but i believe in a higher power of some sort and a life after death. i believe there’s something out there that is listening but i prefer to think it’s the stars

92. DO YOU FIND OUTER SPACE OF THE DEEP OCEAN TO BE MORE INTERESTING? i find the ocean really ineresting but man will always romanticise space

93. DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE A DAREDEVIL? im a 13 year old white girl how ruthless can i be

94. ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING? sesame seeds

95. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? nop but everyone else in my family can

96. CAN YOU WIGGLE YOUR EARS? nope

97. HOW OFTEN DO YOU ADMIT THAT YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT SOMETHING? whenever i realise

98. DO YOU PREFER THE FOREST OR THE BEACH? forest

99. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIECE OF ADVICE THAT ANYONE HAS EVER GIVEN YOU? it’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission

100. ARE YOU A GOOD LIAR? i lie all the time but i am. SO terrible ASJDFHJ i would love to lie less but it’s so easy to slip into one

101. WHAT IS YOUR HOGWARTS HOUSE? gryffindor

102. DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF? hell yea brother

103. ARE YOU AN INTROVERT OR AN EXTROVERT? kyla put ambivert so i looked that up and. yeah

104. DO YOU KEEP A JOURNAL/DIARY? did when i was younger but i guess tumblr is somewhat of a personal diary

105. DO YOU BELIEVE IN SECOND CHANCES? depends

106. IF YOU FOUND A WALLET FULL OF MONEY ON THE GROUND, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? turn it in most likely

107. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF CHANGE? “yes, but you should never forget about their past” thanks kyla

108. ARE YOU TICKLISH? only monsters aren’t

109. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A PLANE? nope

110. DO YOU HAVE ANY PIERCINGS? i have my ears pierced. WILD i know

111. WHAT FICTIONAL CHARACTER DO YOU WISH WAS REAL? UGH FUCK DR JULIAN ILYUSHKA DEVORAK!! it’d be illegal for him to marry anyone but me though

112. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS? yep! i have a tattoo on my back. i plan on getting a lot more tattoos in the future, but i don’t want anymore in the near future

113. WHAT IS THE BEST DECISION THAT YOU’VE MADE IN YOUR LIFE SO FAR? being outspoken and not. watching things pass by

114. DO YOU BELIEVE IN KARMA? of course

115. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES OR CONTACTS? nopee

116. DO YOU WANT CHILDREN? oof i really don’t know because of what’s happened to me i don’t know if i could knowing i could never protect them from everything. idk pregnancy seems very nice but once the kid gets annoying thats It for me

117. WHO IS THE SMARTEST PERSON YOU KNOW? “i think everyone is smart in their own way” thanks kyla

118. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MEMORY? i started laughing once in drama and i pissed myself a lil and i was like ehh thats fine i do that all the time and then i didnt stop pissing and someone was like ‘whats that wet on the floor? they were like mia have u pissed urslef i was like nOSDJF so i had to ask the teacher to leave. u coiuld see the piss down my leg

119. HAVE YOU EVER PULLED AN ALL-NIGHTER? have u SEEN these bags. she’s seen hell 

120. WHAT COLOR ARE MOST OF YOUR CLOTHES? like varying tones of beige and then grey/black

121. DO YOU LIKE ADVENTURES? of course

122. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON TV? oh uhhh i feel like maybe when i was younger but i’ve. repressed that memory if i have it

123. HOW OLD ARE YOU? 13 years young

124. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE? oh jesus something poetic and by atticus probably let’s see

after spending more time searching for a quote than i did on literally this whole tag, i decided on this. and then i realised. it will always be ‘YOU ARE A SAD BOY’

[call-me-rei]

Chapter 4

***I’m SO SORRY that I abandoned this story for so long! Anyway, regular updates on this and PL will be happening since we’re all stuck at home and I’m not working much until August (yay summer). Please read, like, comment, and enjoy!***

-----

It had been two days with no response from Kellin. My anxious self was wondering if he had seen the message. What if something happened to him? What if he blocked me because he didn’t know about the pen pal thing?

Worse, what if he had seen the message, scrolled through my profile, and decided that I was some lame kid who wasn’t worth his time? That thought broke my spirit.

“Will you quit?” Mike asked in an annoyed tone.

“What?”

“You’re all mopey and for no reason. Seriously, it’s bringing me way down.”

“Sorry for having feelings,” I snapped. Mike just rolled his eyes as we continued walking to school.

Maybe my brother was right, maybe I should cheer up. Chances were that Kellin didn’t use Facebook as much as other people so maybe that’s why he didn’t reply. But then again, you get a notification on your phone when someone messages you. Unless he turned off his notifications. But why would he turn them off? Unless…

“Vic!” I jumped at the sound of my brother’s loud voice.

“What?” I asked, irritated.

“Snap out of it, bro. We’re here.” I looked up to see that Mike was right, we were at school already. I sighed and adjusted the weight of my backpack before I walked up the steps.

“You sure you’re okay?” I nodded. “You don’t seem like it.”

I shrugged. “I’m just overthinking. Nothing to worry about,” I assured him.

“If you say so.” I looked to see the worry on his face. I frowned. I didn’t mean to worry my brother with how silent I was being. I gave him a small smile before we parted ways, going to our lockers. After getting the books I’d need for my first couple classes I shut the metal door and slid to the floor. I took my phone out and scrolled aimlessly through Twitter.

All I wanted was to get my mind off of the fact that I wasn’t going to make a new friend. It sucked because we probably would’ve been great friends. I had looked through his profile and I saw that we liked some of the same bands. He had a couple pictures of himself on his page as well.

I wound up on his Facebook profile. I clicked on his profile picture and observed it. Kellin had black hair and didn’t smile much in pictures. I wondered why that was. He did have pretty blue eyes though. I wondered what they looked like in person.

I exited his picture and went down his page some more. There wasn’t much to see since we weren’t friends online, but I got a good idea of who he was.

I was about to put my phone back in my pocket when a notification dropped down the screen.

It was from Messenger.

It was from Kellin.

I was giddy with excitement, but I tried to hide it as best I could since I was in the hallway and other students were already looking at me, wondering why I was sitting on the cold ground.

I opened the app and read the new message:

Hey Vic. Sorry it took a while to answer

That’s it, I thought, no other explanation? I shook it off and typed a response.

It’s ok. Been busy?

He answered almost instantly.

Yeah you could say that

Busy with school rn

I chuckled. Yeah me too. Where do you go to school?

Michigan. You?

San Diego, I answered.

Oh cool. Cali! he responded. I’ve always wanted to go. Is it true that it’s always sunny?

I chuckled. Not always but most of the time. More often than not.

Cool

I scowled at his response. I didn’t want this conversation to die before it even started.

So are you in high school or college or…? I asked.

The three dots lingered on my screen for a while before his response came and took the air out of my lungs.

Elementary. I’m in 3rd grade

What?! WHAT??????!

Lol I’m sorry, I’m fucking with you! I’m in high school.

Sorry, but I couldn’t resist, he sent.

I rubbed my eyes in exhaustion. This kid already had jokes, meaning he was way more outgoing than I could ever hope to be.

I locked my phone before sliding it into my pocket. The school day was about to start, and I didn’t need to have my phone taken by a teacher. I stood and dusted the seat of my pants. I picked up my books and walked to my first class, all while having Kellin’s stupid reply playing in my head.

***

Lunch rolled around eventually, which meant some much-needed guy talk. I wasn’t the most open person, even with my friends, but sometimes I would let some details of my life out to them. I didn’t know what it was but being open and honest didn’t come naturally to me. I could do it with Curtis since we’d known each other all our lives. He knew when I was hiding something, and he’d ease me into telling him what I was keeping secret.

I put my books in my locker then checked my phone. Since it was Friday the gang was going to go off-campus for lunch. We did that about twice a month. We would do it more often, but we always end up fighting about where to go. In my opinion, the argument is never worth it.

I looked at the group chat we had. Tony had suggested street tacos, and since no one else had replied it looked like we were gong to get those for lunch. I smiled because there wasn’t any fighting, meaning the other guys agreed with him, or they hadn’t seen the message. Either way, I wasn’t going to let them argue about this one. I wanted tacos.

I walked to the front entrance of the school to wait for my friends. Soon after I got there, Jaime and Tony walked into my line of sight. I waved them over with a smile.

“So, tacos?” Tony asked when they got to me.

I nodded. “Sounds perfect.”

“I’m down, but only if the other two get their asses down here in the next thirty seconds.” I rolled my eyes at Jaime. It was obvious that he was hungry since he wasn’t normally an angry person.

I texted Curtis telling him to hurry.

We’re coming. Mike has some things to finish…

I rolled my eyes and relayed the message to Jaime and Tony. Jaime huffed. “Tell them where we’re going. Curtis has a car so he can drive Mike to meet us.”

I sent the message and left the building with Jaime and Tony. There was no stopping Hime when he was hungry, so I walked behind him without a word.

After showing out IDs to the security guard in the parking lot, we were on our way to one of our favorite food trucks. My stomach rumbled the closer we got to our destination.

We arrived in about five minutes and had our food in another three. Mike and Curtis joined us after the three of us had settled at a table in the middle of the park.

“Okay, you’ve gotta tell me,” Tony started, “what were you ‘finishing up,’ Mike?”

Mike gulped down his burrito and washed it down with his soda before he answered. “I was working my way into Alysha’s life.”

We all groaned.

“What?” he asked, seemingly offended.

“No offense bro, but you’ve been trying to get with this chick for almost two months. You’ve never talked to her and I doubt she even knows you’re alive. Give it up.”

“Look Hime, you may not agree with me, but that’s cool. You’re still my brother and I won’t take that to heart. Just know that I’ll remember this.”

I breathed a sigh of relief. I knew Jaime said that to get through to my brother, but when Mike was determined there was nothing you could do to stop him. It was better to go along with him than to go against him. I wasn’t sure if what one of his best friends said would hurt him in any way, but I was glad to hear that it didn’t. I don’t think our group would’ve wanted to pick sides in this thing.

“What did you do?” I asked my brother. He smiled his winning smile before he spoke.

“Well I talked to Danielle again. Apparently she thinks Alysha is pretty cool and wants to get to know her better, but Alysha likes to keep to herself. That got me thinking about how I never really saw her talk to anyone in class or in the halls.”

We nodded along, curious to hear where this was going. Believe it or not, but we became invested in Mike’s quest for his girl.

“Well,” he continued, “I figured if she doesn’t wanna talk to anyone, I won’t talk to her.”

We stared at Mike with quizzical looks on our faces.

“Huh?” Curtis asked after some time of silence and pondering from the rest of us.

Mike’s grin grew. “I’m gonna leave her notes in her locker. That way she won’t have to talk to me if she doesn’t want to, and at least she’ll know who I am. At the very least she’ll know someone wants to her to know her.”

“That’s not a bad idea,” Tony affirmed.

I nodded. “I think she’ll like that. And I can help you write some stuff if you want.”

“Thanks you guys. I just hope this works.”

***

After lunch we went about the rest of our day as usual. I had another soccer practice at the end of the day due to the game happening the next day. Once I had packed my gear up from the locker room I met up with Mike and we walked home.

“You don’t think my idea is stupid, do you?”

I looked at my brother. He had a sad, lost puppy dog expression on his face.

“Of course not,” I answered. “You’re showing her that you care about her by trying to make her feel comfortable. I’m sure she’ll appreciate it, and she’ll finally know you exist.”

“Ha ha, so funny,” he said in monotone.

I laughed. Messing with Mike was so easy.

The walk home led to me taking a well-earned shower before heating up leftovers for dinner and lying in bed waiting for sleep. Of course I scrolled through my phone as I waited.

I swiped through the pages of apps on my screen when I noticed I had a notification on the Messenger app.

Shit! Kellin messaged me and I ignored him. He probably thinks I hate him because of his joke. Fuck!

I took a deep breath to calm my nerves before I opened the app and the message.

Hey, I didn’t mean to freak you out earlier. I thought it would be funny. I hope I didn’t scare you off

I smiled at his message. I was worried about what he thought of me and he was worried about the impression he made. It was a bit comforting to know that he was as socially anxious as I was.

It’s cool. I guess it was kinda funny. Sorry, I just had a busy day and I just saw this

No worries dude. It’s all good, he replied. How was your day btw?

Busy. You messaged me at the start of school so I had to put my phone up. Then I had soccer practice

You play soccer? That’s so cool!

I chuckled. You really think so?

Yeah! I’m athletically challenged so I live vicariously through others lol

I couldn’t help but laugh at that. Lol well it’s cool that you think that’s cool

Was that the right thing to say? No, that was stupid. I facepalmed and bit my lip in anticipation for the response to my lame comment. Why’d you say that, Vic? You couldn’t think of something better to say?

I decided to redeem myself. So what kinds of things are you into?

We messaged back and forth for hours. We talked about our interests, hobbies, families, and all of the other usual things people talk about when they first meet. It was almost one in the morning when I finally told him I needed to sleep. Since he was in Michigan that would’ve made it almost 4 AM; I didn’t want to keep him up all night. We said our goodnights and for the first time in a long time, I went to sleep with a smile on my face.

[allienjoyz]

Sanji x Nami FF - Letting Go Ch.1

Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece just my FF

Summary: This is a FF “Version” of the WCI-Theme set in an AU. The story differs a lot from the original

Warning: English is not my first language ;)

Next Chap: https://allienjoyz.tumblr.com/post/160626673943/sanji-x-nami-ff-letting-go-ch-2

Chapter I

Life has never been easy for the young lady and it sure as hell wouldn’t get easier anytime soon. At least she thought so. But who could blame her? The city she lived in and called home has been going rack and ruin for years now. Poverty, crimes and corrupt politicians have destroyed what was once a happy and vivid town. Still the young lady –and her friends who she thought of as family- stayed and they wouldn’t leave. For reasons one stranger than the other they stayed.

 “Hey Nami…” the young woman rose her head and turned it towards her long-nosed friend who just called for her and teared her from the thoughtless. “Could you please turn up the volume a bit, I want to know to hear what happened at the town hall – it seems to be a big thing.” Ussop pointed at the TV. Nami nodded and did as requested. She hadn’t spent attention to the TV program, as she had been peeling the oranges she had just gathered from the plantation behind the house and drifted away with her thoughts just like so often. But now that she actually looked at the TV program she knew why Usopp wanted her to turn up the volume. An alarming red banner saying “Breaking News: Murder at the town hall” was spread wide across the screen. “… there has been no investigations yet, but based on first suppositions of the police officer the mayor of the capital has been murdered. His body was found in his office. Three gunshot wound in the stomach, one into the head. The police claimed not to have a suspect by now. The committee has not been seen and aside from the body there are no hints found yet – the police request all citizens to forward any information that could be helpful to the investigations. The vice mayor has declared that for personal reasons he won’t be assuming office. It is rumored that a so far fameless consultant of the dead mayor is going to inherit the office: Vinsmoke Jajji…..”

“Ha…” Nami turned around and looked to her friend Robin who had just thrusted out the disdainful laughter and she knew what her friend thought. She herself had never seen Jajji Vinsmoke, but she knew about the Vinsmoke family and that Jajji Vinsmoke was the head of it. They were infamous for their brutality and the family was one important force that turned the city to what it was now. “I can’t believe that…” her black haired friend Luffy stood up from his chair, breathing angrily. “I know what you think Luffy, but I guess it can’t be helped” Ussop stared at his friend knowing that Luffy, would want to run out of the house any time soon just to do something incredibly dumb, like always. Nami sighed “Ussops’s right Luffy, it can’t be helped. I mean how worse can it get?” She turned her head back to the TV, where she could see a tall blond guy standing in front of the cameras with a banner below him saying “Vinsmoke Jajji”.  The man was not smiling or anything his cold eyes staring into the cameras in way that send down a cold shiver down her spine. “I am so angry that I am hungry …. Hey Sanji how about a second meal?” Luffy asked Sanji while sitting down again at the kitchen table. Nami rolled her eyes and turned again around to face Luffy, ready to bawl him not to eat their whole food again, but she got distracted when she Sanji. Her blonde friend, who normally would tell Luffy to shut up or kick his ass right out of the kitchen was just sitting there. He had his gaze fixed to the kitchen table and his body was strained. Namis knit her brows – something was going on in her friend, this wasn’t like him at all. She never saw him like this, normally he was, even if the world was trembling, calm and keeping a cool mind. “Hey Sanji? A second meal?” Luffy asked again tapping his friends shoulder. Sanji startled and was turning his head a bit disorientated, till he saw Luffy swinging on his chair curiously waiting for an answer. “I’m sorry Luffy what did you say?” Sanji asked quietly and politely. Namis further knit her brows. “A second meal?” Luffy repeated. “Sure… I’ll make you something.” With that Sanji stood up and went to the kitchen. Luffy now was happily giggling and Ussop demanded also a second meal just like Chopper and Franky.  The report on TV had come to an end and Nami turned down the volume again continuing to peel her oranges, drifting again away with her thought but unlike most of the times she didn’t start thinking about her mother Bellemere but about the weird behavior of Sanji.

 After the second meal, everyone was minding their or business or preparing to go to bed. Sanji was doing the dishes as noticed somebody approaching. He didn’t have to look in the direction of that somebody to know who was coming, since it wasn’t just somebody to him (even though nobody living in this house was just somebody to him). But this somebody was someone special, probably the most precious and important someone in his entire life – past, present and future. He knew this scent just too well – he would identify this sweet tangerine scent, which was right now coming at him like a breeze of a perfect summer day, anytime and everywhere. But even though he knew who was coming he rose his head, as he would never voluntary miss a chance to catch sight of this, his, beautiful goodness that he loved more than anything or anyone in the whole word. Nami now stood just the length of an arm away from him smiling softly with her mouth – but not with her eyes.  Sanji put the dishes he had been washing till this moment back in the sink to give this orange-haired beauty all of his attention. “Nami-san, is there something I can do for you? Get you a dessert or a tea perhaps?” normally he would, swear his eternal love to her and compliment her beauty but he could tell from her eyes something was up – and besides he currently wasn’t in his best mood. “No Sanji-kun thank you.” She lowered the volume of her voice a bit “Actually I came for you. Is everything alright? You seem to be stressed by something.” Just for a small second Sanji dropped his smile. Just like her beauty her intelligence and senses were just perfect, of course she noticed his behavior. He didn’t want to lie to her but he didn’t want to tell her either – actually he didn’t want to tell anybody, he didn’t even want to think about it, all he wanted was to forget. So he decided to play it off. “Ahhhhhh Nami-swann are you worried about me? Is it because you actually do love me?” he swirled around her hoping behaving like he normally did would convince her that everything was ok. She rolled her eyes and picked him down by his hear so he was eye to eye with her. Her glance was serious and strict, but non the less having his face so close to hers blew the blonds mind. He couldn’t stop himself form staring at her. Just like the day he met her.

It was back in the time where he still went to Highschool. He was working his shift in the Baratie, the restaurant of this stepfather, flirting around with pretty girls just like he always did and still does. He was asking a girl for her number when he heard some loud noises from a table round the corner. He wanted to tell those noisy jerks to shut up and that this was not some kind of pub to get drunk in, be loud and annoy people with some infantile behavior and then return to that beautiful Lady. But when he had reached the corner and gained sight of the table where the noises were coming from – he stopped, just as his heart. A beautiful young Lady with short orange hair was sitting at the table with three firend laughing uncontrollably about the fight two of them were having.  Her small and filigree hands slapping on the table and her well-shaped breast was moving up and down, as she was panting heavily trying to get some air between her laughter. She was an extraordinary beauty in his eyes. But that was not what stopped his heart from beating, it was something different. Till then he had fallen only for the beauty of women – but in that moment he had fallen for this young woman, not her beauty but her. The way she was honestly laughing, absolutly not caring about the annoyed stares from other people that laid on her – blew his mind and let him forget about the other. In that moment he had fallen in love with Nami. She approached to their table and one thing coming to another he befriended himself with Nami as well as with Ussop, Zoro and Luffy, who were with her at that day. Spend time with her, moved in with her and her friends and got to know her better and better. Over all this time she just got more and more beautiful in his eyes and his love for her just kept growing.

 “Sanji-kun” for the second time today Sanji got drifted away with his thoughts. He noticed that he still was staring at Nami and he swear he noticed a faint blush on Namis cheeks. She let go of his ear. “Aw... I’m sorry Nami-san. Everything is alright. I am sorry for bothering you.” He smiled at her as good as he could. Nami sighed “Ok then. I will help you with the dishes… It’s already quite late and you have to get up early tomorrow right?” “Yes, but Nami-san please I don’t want to bother you any further. I ca…” he got interrupted by Nami “Sanji-kun I am gonna help you – so quit it.” She pushed herself behind Sanji to the sink and started with washing the dishes. Normally Sanji would be more than happy to spent time with his beloved, but right now he didn’t because he knew that she knew, that his smile was fake.

[mother-of-emperors-blog]

Life Saving Tips for the Mother of a Big Family

Originally blogged by Notorious 

 1. Paper plates are life savers. There are loads of articles that tell you the biggest predictor of happy, healthy children is eating dinner together.  And I believe.  This would be a dream if dinner came at 10:00AM.  I would have the table set with china and candles.  As it is, everyone is tired, hungry, stressed and busy at 6:00.  So, if I can just do the dinner, not the hullabaloo, I congratulate myself as I put out the paper plates.  Always remember your goal.  Be clear about your goal and however you achieve it, be happy. 2.  Self congratulation is key to mental health. Women go from constant external congratulation to sitting at home doing loads of things for which no one ever compliments.  We are really good at doing this to each other:  Your hair is cute!  Fabulous outfit! But no one compliments you on not screaming at that kid who deserves it.  Or picking up that coat for the fourth time today.  So this is when you must self congratulate.  My, my my I did a great job making the bed.  Yay for me for not screaming at husband for dropping socks there.  Perfect this art.  Additionally, you must be able to identify and ask when you need it from the kids and husband. I have no problem saying, Don't I look nice?  Or I need you to say something nice to me.  It's not that they aren't thinking it, they just don't think to say it.  You're doing them a favor.  Cue them to say the happy things.  Everyone will be happier. 3.  Sex Do it often.  It cleanses the palate.  Do it when you don't feel like it.  You never regret having sex.  It doesn't always have to be magical.  Think of it like food.  Sometimes it's quick thrown together, sometimes it's slow and deliberate.  There are always 100 things to do in a big family, make sure sex is on the top of the list. 4.  Dates This sometimes goes with #3, but not always.  Every Friday Husband calls me up and asks me on a date.  It's the time we have to decompress and be us again.  Not Mom.  Not Dad.  Just Husband and Wife.  Kids have to take turns babysitting.  Teenager, I don't care if you're popular, tonight is your turn to support your parents.  Find time to just be you guys. 5  Don't do it for them. I am fast at almost everything and so it's really tempting for me to hurry and do that.  It's faster than getting the kid to do it.  But nothing makes a kid resent you more than indulging them.  They feel better about themselves when they accomplish and are self-sufficient.  I think some parents go too far the other direction, but for me, reminding myself of this is healthy.  Sadly, the other prong of this fork is kids only work if you're working.  You can't just say, go and do that (at least until they're about 10).  You have to work beside them. 6.  I don't minister to laundry. If something is ruined, goodbye.  If it's delicate and shrinks, it doesn't belong in a big family.  If it bleeds, it goes.  I buy only the same kind of black socks for boys because they can wear them to church and school and they don't show dirt.  Girl's it's only white.  It's not worth even 5 minutes of my time to match socks and I refuse to cater to fancy socks.  Garbage.  Period. No guilt. 7.  Bundles. In our culture of amassing things, the things sometimes dictate our lives.  My first question is how often do I want to do laundry?  My answer is once a week.  That means each child needs 8 sets of clothing (8 pairs of socks, pants, shirts).  One for every day and one extra (you need 10 in the summer).  The beauty of this is it forces kids to do laundry (they don't have an endless supply) and it's an easy amount to keep track of (purchase, wash, fold, put away).  All the dirty clothing can fit in one basket and can be washed in ONE LOAD.  I make sure the clothing specifically matches each other (bundle) or that everything matches everything.   8.  Cute, clean kids are easier to love than ugly, dirty ones. I learned this from Celia.  When my toddler wouldn't stop messing and messing and crying and crying she said, "Go buy him a new outfit.  You'll love him again."  And guess what?  It worked.  Before you break up with your child, try new haircut, bath and clean clothes. Your love will be renewed. 9. Play = Messes. Don't be offended when those kids play quietly and the result of said play is a giant mess.  It's always a mess.  I tell them they can only have two messes.  It makes them feel like they're getting away with something.  Before play (mess) #3 begins you must clean play (mess) #1 or play (mess) #2. 10.  TV is the cleanest toy. But realize that their brains don't work after TV.  I take the amount of time they spent watching TV and cut it in half.  That's how long I'm going to have to listen to, "I'm bored."  They are bored.  Their brains have shut off and they can't think of anything.  Don't worry, wait the allotted time and brains will reboot. 11.Don't let go first. Hugs really do work.  Hugs help sad, mad, hurt.  I decided long ago that you can hug me as long as you need to. My affection doesn't have a timer.  Some kids it's long and some it's short.  But I don't let go first. 12  Dads speak a different language. I spent years puzzling over what Dad was saying to those kids.  Certainly I could teach him how to say/do that differently (right).  Just pay attention to how I do it and then you'll know.  But then something quite unexpected happened, the kids responded to him.  Happy, productive responses.  You mean that whole time he was making sense to them?  Okay so I don't speak Dad.  Just because I don't speak it, doesn't mean it isn't valid or doing its job

13. And speaking of Dads, wait for it. Many moms make the giant mistake of marginalizing dads.  In part because of #12 and in part because most dads are out of their depth with babies and toddlers.  Moms start to exclude and marginalize at this point.  Do Not Do This.  By the time those kids are 13, they can't really hear you anymore. You become sort of static.  But guess who they can hear?  That's right, The Dad.  Don't marginalize.  Keep that secret weapon at the ready and confident.  You're gonna need him. 14.  Nevertheless is a magic word. It means you don't have to fight.  But I did the dishes last time! Nevertheless . . . But that's not fair!  Nevertheless . . . 15.  Know your interests. In the world of moms there are a myriad of talents.  Some are runners, some are cookers, some are bloggers (who appear to be good at everything).  You do yourself no good compiling a list of every mom's talent and thinking that's where the bar is.  That really great runner, sucks at cooking.  That blogger hasn't had sex in 10 days.  Free yourself from comparing.  Realize there are seasons for things.  When you have loads of busy kids and babies, that garden can happily grow weeds.  Sometimes I say out loud, "I don't care about running; it's not my talent."  Then I feel free. 16.  I am not a buffet. This goes with #15.  As a mom, I'm really good at somethings and really terrible at others.  I'm not a buffet of mothering wonderment.  My mom was a wiz in the kitchen and horrifying every time she left her closet.  Geez the absence of fashion.  I realized I could get that from other women.  Women generously nurture.  Your kids will find the person who can share the thing you suck at.  Be content being authentic. 17.  And about those mom systems. You will encounter dozens of mom systems (chore charts, reward systems, schedules) that seem like The Answer. Please remember every system requires a system manager.  The system only works because the manager is managing.  No system works on its own. 18. Jobs, jobs, jobs.   Clean makes everything feel better.  If I feel out of control or can't get ahead I clean and sit and it's better.  Temples are clean; that's why they work.  I decide how frequently I am going to listen to those jobs nag me.  Hi, I'm your dirty toilet, remember how much you like it when I'm clean? Come here.  Spend time with me.  I only listen to most jobs once a week.  Then the rest of the week I can say to it, Not your turn.  Wait til Monday. And the cool thing about jobs is they will wait.  They will wait for stories, and for sleeping and for playing. 19.  Stories, sleeping and playing are paramount to enjoying your roll as mother. It's the fun and don't forget the fun.  I am task oriented so I have to remind myself to have fun.  Playing hooky from jobs is one of my favorite activities.  Kid wants to see Avengers after school on Wednesday?  Ok.  That kid brings me a book in the middle of washing dishes?  Yes.  Because spending time with the kid means you love them. Recognize that. 20.  Food and touch. Kids need both to feel loved.  If a kid is riotous and rebellious, feed them and pet them.  They will settle down. They are puppies.  Especially those teenagers who don't get touched any more cause they're too big and look like adults.  They're not.  Think of them as really large toddlers.  They need touch, sleep and food.  Almost all problems can be solved by those things.  (PS, This is true for husbands too.  Sorry).  The beautiful thing about this realization is it means I don't have to take that fit/tantrum/explosion personally.  I replace that raging big person with the little person they used to be and think, What would I do for the toddler version of this person? I would calm, sit, read, feed, hug. 21,  Agency is supreme. You can make kids do stuff.  Can.  You can force them to obey.  But if you do, you've lost the war.  And really, you're in it for the war.  If they have to fail to see the right, that's fair trade.  No gloating.  Just love and reinforcement.  Failure is part of the deal.  Failing classes, sports, friendships.  You don't learn from the good stuff.  Don't deprive them of the lesson.  The lesson shapes the agency. 22.  Follow through. Every time you say something and don't follow through, you have to exactly follow through 4 times to regain credibility.  They simply don't believe you if you don't follow through.  So be careful what pops out in the heat of the moment.  Every punishment for that kid is a punishment for you. You have to be there to enforce.  Say what you mean.  You may have to ask for a time out.  There will be a punishment/consequence for this but I need a minute. Ask for help from Heavenly Father.  Wait a beat, get the inspiration. 23. Don't forget the preteens. Preteens are such easy children; it's tempting to forget them.  They are independent and aren't plagued by hormones.  It's tempting to let them alone.  My grandmother Donna said If you bank the time with the preteens you can withdraw it when the kid is a teenager.  She was right.  I have shows we watch, trips we take, food we like.  It's all banked to weather the teenage storm.  It works. 24.  You will fail. It's going to happen.  You will overreact, underreact, not react.  Words will escape you when you didn't mean them to.  Be quick to apologize.  It means it's okay to make a mistake and sorry works.  That may be the healthiest thing you can teach a kid.  Kids are amazing forgivers; they always do this better than adults. 25.  Lastly, this stage passes. When the kids were all little and constantly testing gravity (does it break, does it sink, can I get her to fall), I was convinced they were there forever.  But they grow.  You will not like every stage.  Some moms love babies, some teenagers and frankly some moms don't like either and are so relieved when their children are adults.  It's all fine.  And the reason it's fine is the stage passes.  You're raising adults, not children.  That's the process and the goal. One of my favorite quotes is from Leo Tolstoy, "Happy families are all alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."  Happiness is a choice.  If the mom is happy, the family can withstand a lot.  If not, the family wilts.  Every day is just 24 hours.  The beautiful thing about Heavenly Father is if you really mess up this set, you get a fresh set tomorrow.  It's just that simple.