#and on the hill they live there's no supermarket so i need to go on down to get anything i need

[toothpastecanyon]

Unto Dust, Chapter 2

Lucy Ann was nothing if not a survivor. After weeks of being on the run from the Angel, she was looking forward to getting back to her life of wandering the world, and relaxing in the sun.

But this time, it may not be so easy for things to go back to normal.

See most updated version on Archive of Our Own.

______________________________________________________________

Lucy Ann remembered that day on the banks of the Thamesis. The fear that rose in her chest as light bled into the horizon, as the fading stars above slowly abandoned her to her fate. She remembered the terror, the struggle, the tears welling up in her eyes as she realised this was it, this was the end, there was nothing she could do…

Nothing she could do.

She remembered thinking those words; she remembered how, as she lay back, her eyes fixed on the orange glow beyond the river… they didn’t seem as scary, now. She had done all she could, lived a good, long life. A life that she’d miss - stars, she remembered how the only panging regret in that moment was that she’d reached the end of it.

But if this was truly it, then so be it. She’d hidden from the light for a thousand years, and as she lay there, she realised she’d forgotten just how beautiful the sun was when it rose. The glow of the clouds, the village in silhouette, the first few rays peeking through the trees on a distant hill… she took a deep breath, in, and out, and she smiled.

She wasn’t scared at all. And when the light finally reached her, and gently warmed her cold skin, she laughed until tears ran down her cheeks, because she was alive, she was alive, she was alive!

She was alive. Lucy Ann had drawn the corner of the blinds, and was peeking out at the grey glow of early morning when there was a knock on her door. She glanced over sharply, and stood there still until there was another knock and a voice.

“Hellooo, it’s June! Are we awake?”

Oh - the fairy who owned the condo. Lucy Ann cast a glance at the summoning circle still drawn on the floor before reluctantly slinking over to the door. She opened it to a winged woman in jogging gear with a paper bag in her hands; she gave a sparkling smile that Lucy Ann struggled to match.

“There we are! Gooood morning, darling!” She gave Lucy Ann a kiss on each cheek before gliding past her. “Sorry to pop in so early - I hope I didn’t wake you up! Just wanted to drop off some supplies before work!”

“Um, thanks?” Lucy Ann saw her notice the summoning circle as she set the bag down on the coffee table. “I, uh, was gonna clean that up.”

“Oh, don’t worry about a little Alcor circle! If you’re going to summon anything else, though, could I ask you put down a little protection ward on the floor?” She gave an airy laugh. “Demons just love scratching up the hardwood. Anyway, I popped down to the supermarket and picked you up a few more bloodpacks! You don’t mind B positive, do you?”

“No, that’s, that’s fine. I’m not picky.” Lucy Ann watched her open the fridge. “Thanks, again… uh, I can put that away-”

“Nonsense, guests sit down!” June waved her off, and then did a double take. “Oh no! Are you cold, dear?”

“Cold?”

“You’ve got my ski gloves on!”

Lucy Ann blinked, and looked down at the thick black glove on her hand. “Oh,” she said, and quickly hid it behind her back. “Right, uh… a little? But it’s fine.”

“Oh, you poor thing! Let me show you where the thermostat is!” Her wings fluttered as she made her way to what was very obviously a thermostat right by the couch. Lucy Ann made a face, but decided to play along. “Here it is! Now you just tap the screen, and you can set it to whatever you like, okay?”

“Okay.” Lucy Ann turned it up a few degrees, then gave a crooked smile. “That’s, uh, much better. Thanks.”

“I hope it’s more comfortable! I won’t have my guests needing to wear gloves in my house - that just won’t do!”

She made her way back to the fridge, leaving Lucy Ann to discreetly slip off the glove. June shut the fridge, and beamed at her.

“That should be you stocked up for the week! And if you need anything else, anything at all, you let me know, okay? You’ve got my number?”

“Yeah. Uh, thanks, June.”

“It’s no trouble at all, love!” She was folding up the paper bag she made her way towards the door. “Now I have to get back to my run, but I’ll see you… oh, I almost forgot!”

“What?”

“Darcy from the Dinner Crew wanted me to invite you to our monthly meeting this evening!” June took out a hairband and started tying her hair back as she spoke. “Everyone would love it if you could come - we’ve all been so thrilled to have an original member back in Portland! You’d be a guest of honour!”

Lucy Ann grimaced. Meeting a whole new Dinner Crew - she didn’t know if she was up to that right now. “Uh, that’s real kind of you to offer, but I’m not sure-”

“Oh, and it’ll be after sunset, of course!” June laughed to herself. “Don’t you worry, we wouldn’t invite you somewhere you couldn’t go!”

At that, Lucy Ann froze. It was what a lot of well-meaning strangers assumed about her, and it wasn’t unreasonable; there weren’t many vampires who lived long enough to walk in the sun. Normally she took a bit of smug satisfaction in correcting them - or if they were outside, simply staring blankly back until they realised - but today, she didn’t quite find the words in time.

“Anyway,” June continued, opening the door. “I really must run now, darling, but I’ll swing by at seven and give you a ride! Ooh, this is so exciting!”

And with that, she was gone, and it seemed like Lucy Ann was booked for the afternoon. Great. Wonderful. Letting the polite smile drop, she went over to slump on the couch, and dragged a hand down her face.

Ugh… Oh, well.

Maybe it’d be a good thing to get out of this house for a while. And meeting the newest cast of the Dinner Crew could be nice - June was certainly a sweet lady, even if she was a lot.

A glance at the blinds, a grimace at the glow behind them. And of course, it’d be fucking dark outside. Because that was something she had to worry about now, wasn’t it?

Lucy Ann stared down at her hands, and remembered the dirt on them as she clawed her way up the banks of the Thamesis. She remembered the long, stumbling path she took back to her safehouse, the times she had to stop and hide in bushes at the sounds of footsteps because stars, she didn’t know what they’d do to her if they found she hadn’t burned. She remembered the grime on her skin, the deep ache from bruises she was too weak to heal… and the wonderful warmth of the sun.

She remembered making it home, collapsing into bed, and sleeping for a whole season. By the time she awoke, she’d wondered whether the whole thing had been a crazy dream; had she really walked in the sun?

She remembered seeing the drawn wooden shutters over her window, the soft glow of the sun peeking out from the edges of the panels. She remembered stepping towards them, remembered unlatching them, remembered throwing them open wide open and feeling-

Lucy Ann turned away from the blinds. She sat still for a moment, one hand pinching the other, before grabbing the remote and turning on the TV. Something stupid was playing; she changed the channel to something else, saw it was worse, so she changed it back and settled in and forced herself to relax.

Stars, it was so stuffy in here. You know what, it was a good thing she was going somewhere; anything to get out of this fucking house.

______________________________________________________________

It looked, Lucy Ann thought, like a mix between a warehouse and a restaurant. The building was truly massive, with concrete floors and ventilation tubes weaving their ways across the tall ceiling. Dinner tables were neatly arranged across the room, and a buffet stretched down one side. A huge, messy line had formed; the whole room echoed with the sound of voices and laughter. It was so loud that June nudged her and said something; she couldn’t hear it at all, but she just smiled and nodded and that seemed to satisfy her.

June started digging into her meal: a steaming meat pie of venison, potatoes, and green vegetables. It looked so good Lucy Ann wondered whether she wanted to chance the line… maybe when it died down a little bit. For now, she was happy sipping her wine glass of blood.

“Enjoying yourself?”

Unlike June, Lucy Ann had no trouble hearing the deep, booming voice of Darceus Alamastern. The leader of the Dinner Crew was a lion of a kitsune, easily twice as tall as the other two foxes on either side of her, with nine great tails fanned out behind like a peacock’s train. Her smile was friendly, and her eyes were bright and curious, but it was hard to look at her and not find one’s eye drawn to the size of those teeth in her mouth.

One fang was broken off, Lucy Ann noticed. Ouch, she thought, and then shook herself, cleared her throat.

“Uh, yeah.” She said, and stared out across the crowd. “Lot of people tonight; are they all in the Dinner Crew?”

“Oh, no.” Darceus gave a hearty laugh. “We’re a little lean on formal members lately, but these meetings are open to the public. Anyone can come in and get a hot meal.” Her eyes twinkled as she watched Lucy Ann. “Were there so many members in your time?”

“With Hank?” She chuckled. “Oh, I’m not sure. We were a lot less organised back then. Took years before we started keeping any kind of track… but we got big pretty fast.” She sipped her drink, smiling to herself. “Yeah, pretty fast. It was really something.”

Darceus listened with interest. “To see the beginning of the Dinner Crew… it must have been quite remarkable.” She looked around the room, seeming to analyze something, before turning back to Lucy Ann. “It looks like everyone is getting settled in. I’m going to make a speech shortly, welcoming everyone to the meeting. Would you like to say a few words?”

“Sure.” She chuckled. “I hope you got a megaphone, though. This room is huge.”

With a grin, Darceus tapped the edge of the table; glowing purple runes flickered to life, and dimmed again as she took her hand away. “Don’t worry,” she said, “you’ll be heard.”

“All the tables have it,” June added, leaning in close. “After dinner, we have a kind of town hall where anyone can ask Darcy anything. I’ll tell you, you won’t believe some of the oddball questions we get!”

“Oh, I’m sure I can believe it,” she muttered. She would have said more, but Darceus was rising to her feet. Tapping her wine glass, all heads began to turn as she cleared her throat and started to speak.

“My friends!” Darceus began, and the chatter in the room immediately died way down. “Welcome one, welcome all, to our monthly Dinner Crew dinner! I trust you’ve all got something to eat - our thanks again to the Greater Portland Forest Community for catering tonight.”

She nodded to a white-haired elf seated at a table not far from their own, and continued.

“Whether you’re here for the meeting, or just for the delicious food, we really appreciate you all coming out tonight. The Dinner Crew’s got a long and proud history of holding these meetings - it’s been about one hundred and seventy years, now, unbroken since we reformed after the Chancellor administration.”

Darceus glanced down at Lucy Ann, and smiled. “But our history of giving back to the community stretches back far longer than that. Friends, we’re honoured tonight to host a truly legendary figure, a founding member of the Dinner Crew and lifelong advocate for the preternatural. Give it up for our own Lucy Ann!”

Lucy Ann stood up on her chair, and felt it in her chest as the entire room broke into thunderous applause. it was surreal, sometimes, to see just how much she meant to the Dinner Crew. She didn’t even think she had that big a role in founding them, and she certainly hadn’t been keeping up with them the past few centuries, but to this sea of strangers cheering her on, she might as well have been Hank himself. It was a humbling feeling, to wonder why they thought she was so important.

The applause took a while to die down, but eventually it faded, and she cleared her throat. “Uh, thank you, thank you!” She started, and grappled for something to say. “It’s… it’s an honour for me too, to be here with you all! You’ve all been, ah, more than kind.”

She felt like she wanted to stop there, but a whole room of eyes still looked on expectantly. Lucy Ann wasn’t one for stage fright, but she found herself fiddling with her wine glass as she went on.

“And, uh…” she started, and chuckled. “It really has been a while, hasn’t it! I don’t think I’ve been back to Portland since Dave was in charge - anyone remember Dave?” No hands went up at first - after a moment there was a lone whoop from the back. “Yeah, hey, someone remembers him! Of course, heh, he was before the Chancellor administration, so, ah, a long time ago, now. A long time.”

Silence, again. Lucy Ann scratched the back of her neck; stars, she’d been trying to kill time this morning, and she didn’t think to prepare something to say? Finally, she gave a bit of a shrug.

“Anyway, ah, that’s it for me. I’ll be in town for a little while, so if anyone wants to hit me up, go for it.” She chuckled. “I, uh, I probably don’t know where the party spots are anymore, so if anyone’s up to show me around the new Portland, that’d be great.”

After that, she sat down, and Darceus nodded at her.

“Lucy Ann, everyone!” She said, and raised her glass. Everyone else did as well, and there was a chorus of clinks across the room. June offered her drink, and beamed when Lucy Ann clinked with her.

Lucy Ann found herself smiling, too. Eh, her speech was a bit crappy, but everyone seemed to enjoy it well enough - with the way everyone started tucking into their meals, they probably liked how short it was. She watched as Darceus took a seat and rather awkwardly picked up a fork with her huge, paw-like hand.

Maybe this wasn’t the old Dinner Crew. Maybe these weren’t faces she knew… but they were faces she could know, if she stuck around. She’d been going it alone for a good while even before the Angel chased her across the continent; maybe it’d be nice, to let herself be a part of something again.

“Oh dear,” June said bashfully, looking over her empty plate. “I think I should have waited to start with everyone else. How rude of me!”

Lucy Ann snorted. “Hey, you said you were starving in the car. You said you were doing, like, marathon running?”

“Oh, yes, I’m training for my 10K.” She stared wistfully at the buffet table. “Do you think they’ll mind if I have a bit more?”

“Go for it!” Lucy Ann said; when she still hesitated, she added: “You know, if you’re up anyway, could you grab a little bread roll for me? If you don’t mind.”

June was on her feet in an instant. “Of course I’ll get that for you, darling! I’ll be just a moment!”

“Thanks!” Lucy Ann said, and called after her: “Perfect host!” She chuckled at the way June’s face lit up, and sat back in her seat.

Sipping her drink, she just watched the crowds for a moment, let herself zone out to the hum of conversation happening all around her. Darceus seemed to have slipped away at some point to walk among the tables; she wasn’t expecting someone to talk to her until June got back.

Which was why she jumped a bit when someone tapped her on the shoulder. They were right behind her; it took a second for her to turn her chair.

“Oh, man, you really do look like a six year old.”

That was the first thing Lucy Ann heard from a strange young woman standing in front of her. She was elven - the pointed ears gave away that much - but she was dressed almost in pajamas, with sweatpants and a loose t-shirt with a graphic of some tv show she didn’t recognize on it. She had her hands in her pockets, and a crooked sort of smile that immediately put Lucy Ann on edge.

“Yeah?” Lucy Ann said, and frowned at the gaggle of five, much more nervous humans that seemed to be gathered around the elf. “Can I help you guys?”

“You definitely can!” Said the elf. “See, my name’s Bea, and I’m a college student over at Portland State. Doin’ my masters in, heh, Elf Studies. Top of my class.”

“Okay?”

“I heard you might be attending this dinner, and when my friends heard that-“ Bea put an arm around one guy and dragged him in closer. “They were just begging me to introduce them. Especially this dork, he’s writing his whole thesis about you. Tell her, Matt.”

Matt’s hand was visibly trembling as he held it out. “Um, h-hello Ms. Ann. I-it’s, uh, i-it’s such an honour to meet you, I’m Matt- but, sorry, you already knew that, I-I didn’t mean to- sorry!”

Bea whistled. “Damn, kid, you’re really blowing this.”

“He’s not blowing this.” Lucy Ann cut in, and took his hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Matt. What’s your thesis about?”

“Um…” His eyes bugged out a bit. “The impact o-of the downfall of, of the Chancellor Administration on Elven Societies in the Western United States, um… I-I’ve been reading a lot a-about the impact you had, i-it’s really impressive, you’ve been such an inspiration to me since I was a kid-“

“You’re losing her,” Bea snipped, and smirked as he seemed to deflate. Lucy Ann watched incredulously as she strode over to June’s chair and sat herself down in it.

“Okay - Bea, is it? What the hell is your problem?”

“I knowww, I’m sorry for bringing a bunch of humans over here to gawk at you.” She waved them away. “Come on guys, clear off! You’re bothering her.”

“They’re not-”

“Hey, is this blood?” Without warning, Bea picked up her glass and took a swig; almost immediately she made a face. “Eugh, yep, that’s blood,” she said, but to Lucy Ann’s disgust, still decided to swallow. “Oh, shit, that was nasty. Gotta ask - do you end up liking the taste of pennies, or is it more of a ‘gotta have it or I’ll die’ kinda thing?”

Lucy Ann was caught between shock and fury; she could only manage to snatch her glass back as she tried to form words. “You… what are you-“

“I’m back!” Came June’s singsong voice; Lucy Ann watched her pause as she noticed the figure in her chair. “Oh, Bea. You’re in my seat, hun.”

“Yeah, just a sec,” Bea said, putting her feet up on the table. “So you said you needed someone to show you around, huh? Show you where to have a good time?”

“And you’re volunteering?” Lucy Ann gave a harsh laugh. “You’ve got to be joking, right?”

“Why would I be joking? Hey, if it’s about those humans-“

“It’s not about those fucking humans, it’s about you!” She watched Bea flinch at that, and raised her eyebrows. “Are you- holy shit, are you actually trying to impress me right now? Is this what you do when you want someone to like you?”

Bea sat up straighter. “No. Hah! No, I just-“

“Because I’ve got some advice. Go say sorry to your fucking friends, because I don’t know how you managed to make them.” She leaned in closer, and watched Bea shrink back. “And they’re not ‘just humans’, you know. Just because they don’t live as long as you or me doesn’t make you better than them.”

“What? I don’t, I don’t think I’m better than them-”

“Oh, please, of course you do. You and every other baby immortal who decides to try ‘living amongst the humans.’” She scoffed at the thought. “Yeah, you’re, what, a hundred? Two hundred? If you wanna pretend you’re soo much older and wiser than your friends, maybe you should act like it.”

Bea’s face had gone a deep, angry red; her whole body had cringed into the chair, and her face was frozen in a tense smile that bared all her teeth. She didn’t seem to know what to say; Lucy Ann tilted her head.

“Well?”

“I…” Bea gave a hollow chuckle. “I meant…”

She trailed off there, and Lucy Ann rolled her eyes. “Just get out of the seat,” she said, and waved her away. “My friend was sitting there.”

Bea quickly got to her feet, backed away, and scurried off back to her table without another word. June sat down, her wings fluttering a bit as she gave an anxious chuckle.

“Whoo, that was… remind me not to tick you off! Here’s your bread roll.”

“Thanks.” Lucy Ann cast one last glance behind her, before pushing her chair back in. “So, ah, who’s Bea? Not a member of the Dinner Crew, is she?”

“Over my dead body!” One of the other kitsune spoke up across the table. June laughed nervously.

“Bea? Oh, not technically - she’s a young elf from the GPFC. She likes to get involved, though! She lives on campus, helps out with outreach there.”

“Outreach?” Lucy Ann snorted. “No wonder membership’s low.”

“Oh, no, she’s actually quite good!” June said, and then seemed to think about her words. “When she wants to be, she’s quite good. She’s, uh, definitely a character sometimes! I do like her - haha, I tell myself, the more she tries to rile you up, the more she likes you!”

“I see.” Lucy Ann arched an eyebrow. “She must love me.”

June only gave a tight smile at that, and took a bite of her meal. “Oh - oh, wow, this is so good! How’s your bread roll, darling?”

Lucy Ann wasn’t quite ready to let it drop yet, but it seemed the conversation was over. With a sigh, she took a bite of the bread roll.

“It’s good.” She muttered, and it was - almost annoyingly so. It was hard to stay angry with good food. “Yeah, it’s good.”

“Wonderful!” June perked right up. “You just let me know if you want anything else, okay? I talked to one of the caterers and he said they’ve got plenty of food to go around! I might even be a bit naughty and go for thirds, hah!”

Lucy Ann swished her drink around, and made a face as she set it on the table. If nothing else, she was definitely getting a new glass.

______________________________________________________________

It took a little time for Lucy Ann to get settled in again after her encounter with Bea, but she didn’t show up again, and many friendlier faces introduced themselves over the night. The two other kitsune at the table were Jasper and Anadixis; they were Darceus’ nieces, taken in after their mother was murdered by a cult shortly before the reformation of the Dinner Crew. Darceus himself returned with the leader of the GPFC, a venerable old elf called Gweiyir who introduced themself, but said very little otherwise and left shortly after. Vincent was another vampire who came up to give her a coupon for his nightclub; he seemed a nice enough guy, but listening to his rambling sales pitch, she really found herself regretting that open invitation she’d given in her speech. Yeah, sure, tell a room full of strangers to all try and be her buddy at the same time. Great idea.

Before she got too tired of him, though, the town hall portion of the dinner began, and she had an excuse to shoo him away. The questions were mostly pretty dry, but she listened in, trying to piece together all the new factions making up this Dinner Crew. There was one pro-nat who spoke up, but the whole room seemed well-practiced in shouting him down before Darceus even got the chance to cut off his mic.

“What a silly, silly man,” June had snickered, shaking her head. “You notice he waited until after dinner before getting himself thrown out? Ridiculous.”

And slowly, the night wound down, the crowd thinned out, and the loudest sounds became the squeak of shoes as Dinner Crew members started going table by table, gathering up the many empty plates. As Lucy Ann finished off her drink, she felt a tap on her shoulder.

“Ready to head home?” June said, and at the sight of her gentle smile, Lucy Ann felt her own slowly slide off her face.

Oh, right. Back to that house. She hadn’t thought about her hand all night long, but on the car ride home, she found herself rubbing it again, found her mind wandering back to that slightest tingling across her skin, so light it could be nothing at all… but would she dare to test it? What if she was wrong, what if it burned again, what if… what if he’d done exactly what he set out to do?

What if he’d hurt her in a way she could never heal from? What if he’d forever changed how she’d feel to walk in the sun, made it so she’d always wonder if its warmth was too warm, made it so she’d have to think about it, to worry about it, every time she left her house?

What if he had won?

Lucy Ann didn’t hear June’s voice at first. She flinched when a hand touched her, and stared as June gave a little laugh.

“Did you nod off? I don’t mind if you did, it’s been a long night.”

“Heh, yeah.” Lucy Ann summoned up a ghost of a smile. “A good one, though. I’m glad I went.”

“I’m glad, too. You let me know if you want to meet up sometime!” She snapped her fingers. “Oh, you know what we could do? Evening runs!”

“Hah, uh, you know, I’ll have to think about that.” She reached for the door. “Goodnight, June. Thanks for the ride.”

“It’s no problem at all, darling. Goodnight!”

Lucy Ann stepped out of the car, and watched it drive off. Then she turned to look up at the condo building, dark and silhouetted in the moonlight. She stared at it for a moment longer, then looked to the side, at the trees lining the gentle upward slope of the sidewalk. She gave a grim sort of smile.

Maybe not a night run, she thought. But she wasn’t ready to go inside just yet.

Lucy Ann started off down the path, her hands in her pockets, and her head tilted up, taking in the stars.

[nathanxcha]

hello taiwan // #1

Whenever I tell people that my Mandarin practice thus far has not yielded the most fruits they often joke "ah, so such things as nǐhǎo and xièxiė is probably it" which makes me feel a bit silly. 

Our new home town’s name is constructed of both water and fire symbols, which I find quite poetic. The humble abode which we have settled in being the epitome of a dream apartment, views over the nearby mountains, sun gently creeping over the roofs below in the morning and all such features. There’s raised wooden floors, sliding doors and - upon arrival - lots of dust. I dedicated about 2 days to cleaning (househusband duties), and quite enjoyed the exercise. We have separate rooms for sleeping, working, dining and leisure, as well as a little outdoor space for doing the washing (which, I have to say, is quite an upgrade from our hometown one bed/room apartment and communal washing space lifestyle). 

Keeping track of the first few days is hard. It’s been a blur of miscommunications and reeling from the effects on our days on this. I’d spent a long time in preparation of coming here and having a lot of things not work out in a short span of time on top of the jetlag really managed to take it out of me.

Alas, we had a really kind friend help us receive our keys, dragging our heavy suitcases up the hill and get some necessities on the first day. After recovering from the deepest nap of my life, we took the bus and went shopping for cleaning goods, instant noodles, laundry detergent and bed sheets. You can’t drink the tap water here so we stocked up on water filters for the next months. The supermarket was bright and huge and our European habits made us scout for eco cleaning products.

On the flight over I watched a coming-of-age movie called ‘Turtles all the Way Down’ about a young girl living with grief, OCD and anxiety. It deeply touched me. I’d been thinking a lot about it the first few days when nothing seemed to work out and I grappled intensely with the need to get things under control. But needing to be perfect and manage is not the healthiest trait to cultivate. The dust had to go though.

I often think of people’s kindness and my own inadequacy.

[sugaroto]

I'm kinda thinking of moving out but if I do I'll need to do the whole moving by myself (and I guess my mom will hire a μεταφορική for it but yeh) and I'm thinking how I'll have to do everything alone and the fact that I have food. How do I move the food? Like. Is that weird

Btw I want to move cause where I'm living now is, well not the town, I do live next to the university (which means I have to walk and they built that stupid thing up in a hill) so I'm sweating every time I reach the shit

And also it's the whole thing that if I want to go out I need to check for a bus or take a taxi etc

But in the town there's a bus for uni every 10 minutes and I can't stay out walking or something as much as I like without hunting busses

Also.

It needs to be in a good place.

Like. I don't like my home right now, it's nice. The supermarket is close by which is good and there's also a bus station outside

The town is full of hills some kids I knew had to walk a lot to reach their homes

There's like one main bus stop for uni

And like supermarkets? If I'm living up a hill I do hope there's a market nearby 😭

So like idk.

But mom found a house next to lidl

Lidl is far, but. It is a supermarket. There's also bus stations nearby and it's not really on a hill so I can walk

Oh btw my mom talked to the dude and apparently another one of the students who stays there is also from my island(which must be the niece of the husband of my cousin's godmother) the godmother told us about her when I got into uni here so yeah

And my mom also found another house which is like 30€ less than that one I'm not sure where it is but it'll be empty on june

Which like a lot of houses will be empty then

Do I wait for more houses? Go to lidl? What?

[saltygilmores]

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls-Season 2, Episode 1 ("Sadie Sadie")

Full steam ahead! We have now arrived at Season 2, the Jess Season. It's gonna be an absolute fucking nightmare that I am not looking forward to. Enjoy! Please visit the Denise Rewatches Gilmore Girls tag for all of my past reviews!

Thanks to MaxMedina, SH is absolutely infested with daisies. People are stepping on daisies. They're shaking daisies out of their pants. There's daisies in the food. I am praying Dean Forrester is allergic to daisies and becomes absolutely debilitated with hay fever. Michel is most likely still complaining about how daisies are weeds and is even more insufferable to work with than usual.

I'm pretty sure some kind of daisy-cult has sprouted up in the aftermath of MaxMedina's pre-proposal manipulation tactic.

Peep this guy with a TJ Maxx bag, lol. Someone escaped The Hollow/Daisy Cult and visited the outside world! Good for you, guy.

You gotta respect the hustle of this dude in the background, living in a town where yellow daisies are so free and plentiful they're growing freely out of people's buttcracks, to set up a cart to try and SELL them. Some Stars Hollowans are not so bright. You can see it looks like someone is actually buying them. "A Stars Hollowan and their money are soon parted". -Famous Quote.

God I fucking love shows from the early 2000's. Lane referring to her "parents" sending her to Korea, instead of just her mother.

Just want to take a moment to check out all these vintage magazine covers. Lorelai pays Bootsy for her magazine (he doesn't look up from his paper to see how much she gave him, but still) but she can't pay Luke for her food.

That's a lot of bridal magazines for a town where Lorelai is probably the only person who is currently semi-engaged. Rory buys a bridal mag for Lorelai for $6. That seems like a pretty outrageous price for a magazine in 2001. Bootsy must be in cahoots with the guy selling daisies. We learn that Lorelai has not yet accepted Max's proposal.

The DaisyCult members are gathering.

Not to sound like a broken record but but doesn't anyone in Stars Hollow have a job? How does their economy not collapse? Does the town survive on tourism, outsiders buying snowglobes and keychains? Because clearly the people who actually live here are bored and desperate for stimulation. Rory Gilmore needs to get a job. Okay, where was I... Lorelai: Everything about me turns Luke off. My coffee, my eating habits. I called him Ranger Bob last week! Kinky.

These people crushed up against the door blocking the exit are a real fire hazard.

LORELAI HE'S USING A CAN OF SUPERMARKET COFFEE RIGHT OUT IN THE OPEN. HE HAS NO FUCKING SHAME! YOU'RE LOOKING AT IT! THIS IS LUKE'S SUPER SPECIAL SECRET BLEND THAT YOU GO INTO WITHDRAWLS OVER! Your whole life is a lie! Do you have nothing to say?!

A can of Hills Brothers coffee is currently $8.48 at Walmart. Eventually he upgrades to Folgers. Luke: "Fresh" (lol) coffee will be ready in a minute unless you want to roll up a dollar bill and go nuts. Cocaine joke! Whee! Luke:This whole town should be medicated and put in a rec room with ping pong tables and hand puppets. Lorelai tells Luke that Max proposed and he responds with his maximum level of Luke Enthusiasm: "Eh, I figured."

Tomatos Sign: spotted. Luke absolutely fries Lorelai's brain by getting her to admit she's about to accept this bozo MaxMedina's proposal without them having discussed very important pre-marriage things...like where they're going to live. Honestly, Lorelai. Luke seems like the sensible one now, but in A Year In The Life, it seems as if Luke & Lorelai are discussing having children together for the first time after they've known each other for over 20 years. But we don't count A Year In The Life. It never happened. Never heard of it. Lorelai retruns to her seat and asks Rory what happened. Kirk has passed out. Everyone outside is just staring at Kirk laying on the the ground and no one is helping him or calling for help.

This shot puzzles me, because (unless someone wants to fill me in on something I missed?) I don't understand the context of this ring and why we're seeing an extended closeup of it and her fidgeting with it until she took it off. Nothing was mentioned about Max buying her a ring yet (besides a Ring Pop), but with the level of discomfort she's exhibiting by looking at her hand and then pulling it off her finger, I will assume it came from him? Is it just her own personal ring but she's imagining there's an engagement ring on her hand instead? Maybe that's it. Okay. Look. I fucking loved butterflies growing up. For a good 10 year span, I needed everything I owned to have butterflies on them. I dreamed one of one day having a butterfly themed wedding and yes even a butterfly ring. But that ring looks like it came out of a gumball machine at Walmart (next to the aisle with the Hills Brothers coffee). Probably the same gumball machine where Dean found Rory's "medallion". Surely he can afford something a little better on his fat Private School English Teacher paycheck.

You can afford all those books, now go to a real jewelry store. After Luke fries her brain, Lorelai ends up calling MaxMedina in a panic in the middle of a Friday Night Dinner to ask him these reasonable and important pre-marriage questions. His response only serves to manipulate/ confuse her further by saying "You'd only be asking me these things if you were going to say yes to my proposal." And by her giddy reaction mere moments later, we know she apparenly accepted...a proposal over the phone. And by the brief period of time between the conversation taking place and her freaking out, we are to assume the questions she called him to ask were either never answered or discussed for about 1 minute. Good luck you two. Later, Max calls the GillyGirls household and Rory picks up while Lorelai is standing next to her. Max confides in Rory that he's ring shopping and he asks for her advice on Lorelai's tastes in jewelry. He's shopping for a real ring. Oh thank god.

Look Rory, you know Max has a history of taking suggestions way too literally, as the Yellow Daisy Lung epidemic sweeps through Stars Hollow. You need to make it clear that you're kidding. This is 2001, so instead of texting pictures of the rings, he has to literally describe them. "The first one has a gold band and sort of a square diamond." How quaint. Email with pictures did exist in 2001, Max, but I suppose he realizes that The Hollow is severely behind the times technology wise and that an email would take at least another 5 years to reach them.

SHUDDER. He's back and with an even stupider haircut. Are we recovered from that last horrible kiss? Because whatever time off Jared Padalecki had between filming the last episode of the 1st season and the 1st episode of the second, he did not spend practicing kissing on his pillow/ blowup doll. Get that eye bleach out again, if you have any left. Of course Dean asks "where's your Mom?" The real love of his life.

You got this JarPad...you can do it...just kiss her without making a face like you're licking a block of salt...

Swingandamiss. Dean Garbageface: I missed that. Rory: Yeah me too. I doubt it.

I honestly don't know how so many people who watch this show are oblivious to the DALA (Dean and Lorelai affair) Dean: Long pause to process his girlfriend's mother coming onto him. "Uh. You need me to change your water bottle don't you?" She needs you to "change her water bottle" just like Luke was "fixing her porch rail." Rory steps outside to find Dean cranking on Lorelai's water bottle. He's probably dreaming of that special time in every teenage boy's life when their girlfriend's mother gives them a handjob. Lord knows Rory never gave him one while they were dating (also the reason Jess was constantly cranky).

Rory asks Dean to come to Friday Night dinner, and Dean hesitates. What's the ultimatium going to be this time? Say whaaaat? He agrees to go (after Rory assures him her grandmother is no longer mad at him for falling asleep with her at the dance)? No complaints? No ultimatium? No pouting? I'm stunned. Lorelai calls Dean back into the house to help her reach a can on a high shelf presumably so she can look at his butt while he's doing it.

Look at this doof in his doofy necklace. Dean: I'm just gonna sit here and stare at my hands. Good boy. Glad you know your place. If anyone needs me, I'm going to be over here delighting in how much Richard dislikes Dean. Flat out ignores the doofus when he tries to shake his hand LOL

I thought you were just going to sit there and silently stare at your hands. Sit back down. Lorelai: I can't believe you found a recipe for Beef-A-Roni. Emily: Let's just say it's not beef. Ah, humans. The Gilmores are serving human meat. Probably one of their former maids. Got it.

Me glaring at Dean every time he moves or talks or blinks or breathes or exists. Lorelai: Uh, I bet there's a fabulous dessert waiting in the kitchen. Emily: Yes, Twinkies. I know how much Rory loves Twinkies. Twinkies filled with...human meat? Richard: So, Dean, where are you going to college? Dean: It's called Sleep with Your Daughter University. If ya'll hate me right now I understand. I do. Emlly: Please, Richard, don't grill the boy. If only someone would literally put him on a grill. Sigh....I am pulling one of my infrequent Dean Cards here. Dean was....not bad in this episode. Sure, his mere existence makes my blood curdle, but he didn't DO anything. He didn't complain or give Rory an ultimatium to attend the dinner, he went willingly, was visibly uncomfortable but tried his best and got rewarded with Rory's grandfather death-staring and grilling him the entire night for no reason whatsoever, and when it was over he didn't even transfer his frustration onto poor Rory like he usually does and make her feel like it was her fault.

She's making it sound like he's Prince Charming making an appearance at the ball (ooof, I almost forgot about the fucking Debutante Ball that's on the horizon) when in reality he is a 17 year old dork in a puka-shell necklace who gets C's in math and whose only marketable skills are bagging groceries and making necklaces out of old quarters. The DALA affair chugs along. Lorelai assures Rory that the only reason she thinks Richard was hostile to Dean is because RIchard thinks Dean will get her pregnant and she'll drop out of school like Lorelai. And somehow he managed to be half right on both accounts. Rory:"I'm not going to get pregnant." Lorelai (When It's Dean): I know that. (how exactly does she know that though?) Lorelai: (When it's Jess): He's not allowed to drive up to the house while I'm not here because he'll get you pregnant if he so much as steps into the living room (this was the actual basis of the episode "Swan Song") Sookie calls Emily to tell her she's planning Lorelai's weddng and of course Emily had no idea. Emily demands Richard apologize to Rory because Lorelai just excluded them from her wedding, and in the future Emily doesn't want Rory to hate them and exclude them from her wedding (a wedding which of course she never has, at least not while Richard was still alive). In a very rare display, mysterious salty drops (tears) almost begin to form at the corner of Emily's eyes. Lorelai and Max are sitting on the porch talking and he pulls a ring out of frigging nowhere. It's not in a box or anything. it's not even in his pocket. He just opens his hand, and it's there. It's too big for Lorelai's finger because the gumball machine just spit out the little plastic egg and he had to take whatever he got for his quarter (just kidding, he actually just wasted a buttload of money on a real ring when Lorelai is going to get cold feet in a few weeks and call off the entire engagement) but anyway he wants to take it off to get it resized. "Just let me get it sized and you'll never have to take it off again." Maxmillian, you sweet naive summer child.

Let's end this mild trainwreck of an episode on a funny note.

[goingoutto]

I fell in love today

Peter hated Beacon Hills.

Born and raised and still amazed at how stupid the people are there, and yet, he still can’t figure out why he keeps coming back to this shithole. He spent his teenage years being as rebellious as he could, driving Talia up the walls and not giving a shit about anything.

Life always seemed so meaningless to him, with no surprises, no excitement, no joy. He was always bored out of his skull. At fourteen, he got a name on his finger, but nothing changed. He didn’t search for this person, didn’t feel thrilled, and didn’t make any effort.

Sure, he could feel his soulmate, all the rage burning inside, the bursts of anger and passion, and a strange calmness that used to make Peter royally pissed off. 

Christopher . 

The patron Saint of Travellers. So this is what Peter did, he travelled a lot. North, South, East, West, Countries and Continents. Anything to escape that fucking city. He learned a lot, went to different universities, and fell in love with the chiropractic area of everything.

There was something about this that made him feel powerful. He could help people with his hands, and he knew exactly what to do to hurt them if necessary. Not that he needed that to hurt anyone, he was a werewolf for fuck’s sake. He also met a lot of Christophers during the years, but none of them made him feel  it .

Peter never let himself be stagnant by someone or something, he just lived his life the way he wanted, he never waited for someone or got stuck with this idea, this dream. Talia asked him to be her right-hand numerous times, and he would just laugh because it was such a stupid thing to do.

It was so idiotic that despite everything he did, she still couldn’t accept who he was. He wasn’t a good person; he was greedy, selfish, and violent. He was poisonous, and the vast majority of the time he would surrender to brutality and indulge in a good bloody fight. 

Peter had fled from a lot of places, leaving dead bodies and lots of angry motherfuckers behind. Right now he needed to lay low for a while, after accidentally killing a Russian drug lord in New York, so back to Beacon Hills he went. 

Cursing the bickering brothers for the millionth time that morning, he got out of the car, closing the door with more force than it needed. He should have paid more attention to the school calendar before coming back, and right now he was stuck with Derek and Core fighting over the stupidest little things one could think of. 

The weather was hot as hell, and all he could think about was going back to the house to get in the pool. They were having a barbecue party that night to celebrate his arrival, and Talia sent all three of them to the market to get some things. 

Peter sighed and rolled his eyes when he heard the brothers starting another argument about the grocery list and who had forgotten the fucking paper back at the house and who was going to call Talia when something strange caught his attention. 

There was almost no wind, and yet his sense of smell was overcome by a strong, flowery, sweet scent. It was so overwhelming that he could feel it in the back of his throat. Peter huffed and turned his attention to the forest near the parking lot, scanning the trees and trying to see what it was. 

The scent grew heavier, and more musky, and it was almost as if he was chewing on rose petals. He turned to Derek and Cora and neither of them seemed to notice it, of course. He scanned the parking lot again and felt his heckles get up when the supermarket doors opened and a boy got out. 

He saw the boy jog to an old blue Jeep and suddenly the scent got sour, acrid, almost acidic. He knew this scent. It smelled like silence, like cold, mortality. Oblivion. 

Peter watched the boy’s movements grow rigid as he dropped the brown bag on the floor and fumbled with the car’s keys. And then he could smell blood, and before he was conscious of what he was doing, he started running towards the kid.  

“Uncle Peter?” He heard Cora ask, but it sounded muffled. All he could focus on now was how fast the boy’s heart was beating. He crossed the parking lot, getting to the Jeep just in time to catch the teen before he went to the floor.

Peter felt a horrible sense of impending doom, and everything went silent. He still could hear birds, the cars on the highway, and Derek and Cora at his side, and yet, there is some kind of inertia coming from the boy’s body that makes him disturbed. 

“What’s going on?” Derek asked, making a shadow on top of him and the boy.

“Is he having a heart attack? I can’t hear anything.” Cora kneeled beside him, grabbing the boy’s hat. “Oh, I go to school with him. Fuck, what’s that smell?”

Peter watched the boy’s features becoming paler, mouth purple, eyes white, a fine bloody line coming out of his right nostril. It was as if he had died a long time ago. He stared at him for a few moments, trying to decide what to do. 

He should probably call an ambulance, however, that would also bring the cops to the scene. But, was the boy dead? It had been so fast, and that smell, God, the smell. Smelled like death and yet it smelled so sweet. 

Thud.

The heartbeat was so faint, he almost missed it. He checked the boy’s pulse on the neck and felt nothing, body was so cold it almost burned his fingertips. And then the realization of what was happening made Peter gasp. It couldn’t be. In his almost forty years of life, he had never met one of them. 

They were so scarce and uncommon that Peter could only remember his grandma telling stories about the mystical creatures that wandered around in limbo, helping the ones who had just recently died.

Peter knew deep down what he had just encountered. 

A  Seer.  

Whole fuck. 

Thud.

Peter wasted no time and started to do CPR. He couldn’t remember any rules on how to help, and he was pretty sure his grandma never said anything about teenage boys having the vision. All he could remember was that they were usually women with great power, and that the power would come from a lineage.

Derek and Cora were arguing again, and Peter growled, nervous. The air around them felt sinister and malign, and yet, the boy looked so innocent and harmless. He pinched the boy’s nose and blew air into his mouth, feeling the lungs expand beneath his hand. 

The hostile aura makes all the hairs on his body stand up, and he goes back to doing compressions. 

“Come on, don’t give up on me now,” Peter says. His arms are pushing so hard against the teen’s chest that his body is rocking. 

And then he hears the almost non-existent heart rate skyrocket to the roof. The teen coughs, and coughs, and coughs. Derek and Cora are getting agitated nearby, and Peter can only stare at his face, hypnotized. 

White eyes turning brown, blue lips turning rosy, expression lines getting deeper, the body still cold as ice. It was as if the boy’s body got old before turning back to his actual age. Peter never saw someone getting back from the dead, but if he had to describe it to anyone, it would probably be like what he is watching right now.

Peter sees him blink a few times and then close his eyes, discomfort explicit on his face. Peter has a vague sense that the boy is trying to fight against the supernatural claws that seemed to still be stuck in him. His features look so aged, so ancient, as if his soul had gotten old while stranded in purgatory. 

The teen runs his hand through his face a few times, tries to force his eyes open, trying desperately to snap out of it, and it all looks agonizing as hell. 

Peter gets up and runs back to the Camaro, getting the trunk open and taking a rag from his bag and some old water bottle he had bought in New York. Cora and Derek were talking with the boy, trying to calm him down. He was agitated, and it was obvious that he was panicking. 

“I have a wet rag here. Maybe it will help you with the eyes, huh, what do you think?” Peter wets the rag and kneels back down.

The boy nods, and Peter waits a few seconds for him to breathe deeply. It must be nerve-racking to not have control over the body, especially after something like this. His skin is still cold, but not at that alarming level as before, and the water is warm from being in the trunk all day. 

The boy sighs and Peter laughs; adrenaline being replaced by relief, and then he feels something he's never felt before. There is a strange feeling inside his stomach, a pull from inside his core. 

“That good, huh?”

All traces of an older person are slowly disappearing before his eyes, and the pull gets stronger. The boy touches Peter’s cheek, and for a moment, his wolf has a ridiculous urge to nose the boy’s palm. And just like that, he knows this is it. That's him.  

Peter hoped the boy’s name was Christopher. 

[thessalian]

Thess vs An Unfortunate Tuesday

There are no words for how fed up I am with today.

Started poorly in that “I woke up too early and couldn’t get back to sleep” way, but I thought, hey, I can check the bus routes and go pick up some mallet meds before I start work, since I am currently out. Except that according to the route finder on my phone, all the nearest bus stops are shut. I found out why when I went out to the corner shop - I’d forgotten they were resurfacing one of the main roads in the area. So every bus in my area that doesn’t require climbing a massive hill is diverted away for basically the whole week, and trying to cross said road is an absolute nightmare because, again, resurfacing the entire road.

(Though I have to say, while I can get away with forgetting about the signs that have been all over the place for a month talking about it because I don’t even drive or live on that road at all, I don’t understand the people who actually park their cars there. One of the things that was going on when I went to find a place to cross the road was somebody’s car getting towed. Oopsie.)

So, yeah, it’s going to be a hellish walk however I do it because such hill, and also raining. I swear, since I’m not crossing the entirety of London, I’m about half-tempted to get a taxi. Okay, more than half-tempted to get a taxi. We’ll see after my grocery order arrives, since I have to be here to pick it up. Might end up having to take a taxi anyway to get to any pharmacy that’s open. Not a problem if I go to a supermarket pharmacy counter; I kind of wanted to go to the big Tesco anyway because they have a better range of gluten-free stuff and there are some things I missed on the big shop.

Anyway, then there was the work itself, which was its usual blend of manageable and really fucking annoying. First thing I got was "Hey, send all these reports to this person, please; the hospital numbers probably won’t be right so use the NHS numbers”. Some of them weren’t registered under NHS numbers either so I had to go by names and wanted to kick the individuals responsible for not providing dates of birth. At least none of the names I was looking for were particularly common. Anyway, point is that there were a lot of names on that list and only about two-thirds of them actually had reports on the system anywhere, so I sent what I had with an apology and effectively, “There’s this one we have no record of at all from January and the rest of them only underwent surgery on Friday so their reports might not have gone through the system yet”. The email I got back was, “Oh, yeah, I guess if you only got the samples yesterday afternoon we can’t expect an authorised report; and that other guy in January was a no-show so you won’t have his reports because there aren’t any”.

THEN WHY WAS HE ON THE LIST?!?

Anyway, after that, my laptop demanded rebooting twice in quick succession, but in between times I found that Temp was playing her usual game of leaving all the long bullshit to me. She was really blatant about it today, too. I mean, fuck’s sake. So I got a significant portion of the long and aggravating bullshit. I don’t know who got the rest but I had a look and it was not her. I swear, I’m going to have to ask Scruffman to really take a look at what she’s doing because none of this is fair, to any of us that do any typing.

Somewhere in the middle of all that, my Stuff What I Ordered arrived. So I have a new egg slicer (tougher than the last one, thank the gods), a proper salt shaker, two new window boxes, and a bunch of seeds. Hey, @fauxfire76 - I’m planting petunias! I mean, also cornflower and hollyhock and zinnia and forget-me-not and a bunch of other bee-friendly flowers, but you know. Also need to start the basil, coriander, tomatoes and probably the dill (I know I’ve still got the rescue dill but I cannot have too much dill; it is impossible). And obviously the soil to make the planting happen. I am alternately amused and bewildered at the fact that I quasi-regularly buy dirt.

So, yeah, today’s been unfortunate on a number of levels and it’s not even really over yet. Hence the wanting to go to the big Tesco for some gluten-free treat or other.

[chill-that-ur-inmyhead]

Do you own a pocketknife, or any other kind of multi-tool?

Nope

What did your mother study at university?

Mother didn’t attend uni.

When was the last time your living situation changed in any way?

Just a couple of months ago I moved back to live with Pater in south east England since my uni course finished.

What was the last thing you took a video of?

The last thing I personally video recorded was the struggle I faced trying to get Eras Tour tickets!

Has anyone ever tried to convert you to their religion?

Sure just the usual preachers on the street.

Are there any ways in which your childhood was highly atypical?

My madre went to work and pater stayed at home. It was atypical growing up but now I understand it’s not uncommon anymore.

What’s something that used to really stress you out, but doesn’t anymore?

Nothing springs to mind. Maybe if friendships or relationships don't work out: I am more of the opinion that it happened for a reason and you can't control what other people do only your reaction.

Do you prefer to be around introverted or extroverted people?

Both extremes have their disadvantages but I’m leaning towards extroverts more so.

Have you ever stayed in a hostel?

Not yet.

Have you ever been somewhere where you didn’t fluently speak the local language?

Yes.

What’s an interesting fact about the last person you hugged?

They’re a quadruplet.

Have you ever dated someone from a very different socioeconomic background?

Yes.

Do you own a disco ball?

No.

Were you born before or after the collapse of the Soviet Union?

After.

What is your least favourite kind of weather?

Windy. It’s so annoying and uncomfortable to walk through and no sleep will be had on a windy night.

What was the last housework you did?

Hoovered my room.

What was the amount of the last cheque you wrote?

I have not written a cheque ever.

Do you have any home exercise equipment?

Not yet. Really want a walking pad.

What mountain range is closest to your house?

We don’t really have mountains here, they’re more hills.

Have you ever had famous neighbours?

I used to live in London and Will Poulter apparently lived in the neighbouring town but it is a stretch of the term 'neighbour'

Describe the ‘look’ you did the last time you wore makeup?

Face tilted to the light and mirror so I can see what needs taking care of.

If you got pregnant the 1st time you had sex, how old would the kid be now?

7 years old.

Have you ever polished and waxed your car?

Nope

As a kid, did you have any friends with parents who yelled a lot?

Hmm not really. Omg maybe it was my parents that yelled more than anyone else's ahhh.

If so, did you avoid going to their house because of it?

No.

Are you competitive?

Yes I can be

Is something bothering you right now?

Yes! I started a new job at a supermarket and I don't have my uniform yet so I am just wearing my formal work clothes and it is so uncomfortable and I look so out of place.

What was your last received text message about?

My friend confirming she has downloaded the files in the google drive I shared with her.

Have you ever lived in a small community where everyone knew each other?

No but I can imagine the pros and cons and drama.

What are some of your least favorite foods?

Lamb.

Do you give your pets gifts and treats for their birthday/adoption day?

If I had a pet (and the money) I so would.

Has anyone ever set you up on a blind date? If so, how did it go?

Nope.

Are you a procrastinator?

Yes

What was the last thing you said out loud?

"Go give dad taxation" - said to my brother and taxation is chocolate haha.

What is on your mind?

Do you have all day ?

I've started working at a supermarket and as mentioned above, I am waiting for my uniform, learning the ropes in a new environment and working in a new team where they all know each other is just a lot.

I actually want to work in law and the supermarket job is an in-between until I find something (it is brutal out on the job market). After every shift I immediately apply to more jobs, not because the supermarket is a horrible place, quite the opposite, the people are lovely and the role is fine. It's just not where I want to be.

I have been volunteering at a local charity and have been recommended to apply for a paid position helping people with their debts on behalf of a bank. So I am hoping to hear back about that next week and if I get it, I will be working there part-time.

So I will have gone from no jobs to two! I am planning for the future already and might leave the supermarket job within my probation time since I need time to apply for law roles.

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary221

4/23/2024

tuesday

coming here early,

to write this dream down:

i've already lost how it started, a cramped city, somewhere between chicago and tokyo, that's what it's making me remember. i was part of some kind of organization, street level, maybe ran out of a church or something related to that. my coworker jesus was in the dream, and my boss bernard was in the dream. jesus and i were going to bernard, he had us come into this building he was working out of, it had security camera monitors in it, he was managing something still i guess, on the monitors when he turned away, it went to a screen that just showed fnaf characters, i thought it was funny in the dream. he smiled at me, said something about a dream i would have, that it was important. he predicted there would be a dog, statues, some kind of interior place.

i went to sleep on the ground there, it was like a vision they needed i guess.

the dream started with me walking in this suburb type area, outside of where all the homes are, it reminded me of this view we had in colorado, standing on a large hill, looking out over everything, it was this elevated view and on my right all these massive blooming flowers, not massive as in larger than me, just unnaturally large, petals vivid to a frightening degree, everything felt ripe, the light felt ripe, there was a sense that this dream was around halloween but also summer, some sort of odd convergence.

i keep walking, the flowers are all blue, red, white, yellow, roses and poppies common maybe, those are the shapes, those and tulip shapes as well. the roses are almost like pinwheels stuck out of the earth, i am walking along this curved path, coiling into some kind of atrium, before i get there, views of distant towns on other mountains, the tops of supermarkets, a sense of red and green, the red and green of roses, a kind of violent bloom i guess. ripe, it was ripe, how odd.

the atrium, there were many more flowers, they became almost ethereal here, blue and white mostly, violets, there were violets and there were vines growing on these two huge statues religious and odd, they had their arms outstretched but they were not saints any of us know, they had to be saints as there was a sense in this dream of a nearness to christianity, i as an outsider helping maybe? i don't know.

i stared at them a while but they weren't doing much. there were huge gothic windows behind them, frosted glass made the light come in as shafts, a twinkling midday, the light had not changed at all as the dream began.

i turned to my left, and there were two vine covered exits to this place, further into some facility, one was lit, shorter, i could see another room, but to its right was this black path, the vines were really all the walls and roof, a trellis overgrown. it was totally dark and light hardly penetrated beyond that threshold i was inching nearer, and from the dimness i could see a rottweiler sprinting at me. it tackled me, it made no sound but it was trying to kill me. it emerged, oddly, into focus, not just taking shape from darkness but deformed by a camera lens as well.

as it was trying to kill me, i bit into its muzzle, i bit through the bone, severed its upper jaw from its head, spat it out, and watched it run away, mouthless.

i woke up, and explained what i saw that he told me i'd see. that there were other details, other paths, other things, the suburb, and so on. he said i made a choice in the dream, it seemed to him that i made the right one.

we all went to a market, the three of us, jesus became agitated, i don't know why, the market had a huge aquatic animal section, to buy for meat and stuff but they were all kept alive, a massive live animal market for fish i guess, there was a large drainage area, it reminds me of that sewer area in dark souls 1, that area where you can slide down as a shortcut. jesus went into there, as deep as it was, and pushed a shopping cart over into it. i don't really know why, or what that accomplished. the light in the place felt like the fluorescent re imagining of the light in the atrium, and i was climbing on something trying to get jesus, he went over to this area where all these snails were being kept, and he tried to kill a bunch, bernard got him from behind, i was wet and staring at all the snails, they were these odd blue things, realizing now they resembled fleshy and translucent version of those flowers.

somehow, things happened such that jesus killed bernard, ran off, he sent me some final message, bernard, it said "you need to build comuny"which i think meant community, which recalls the reading i did before bed, i don't know why it was written so poorly.

outside the market, there were people mourning his death, a man who worked a stall who knew him was throwing out all the waste of that day, a bunch of mozzarella sticks in a spiral formation floating into the trash can, another lingering image.

very weird dream.

anyway it is 10pm now, i did 2 out of 3 remaining tracks, took more time than i thought but it's okay cuz last one should be easy and then i can try to focus on lyrics tomorrow. i have to sleep now though, because i have to wake up so early to get ready and stuff.

but the songs i worked on just now really do sound a lot better i think, which is nice. those impulse responses i found are really saving my life i think, they're just so much better than what i normally find.

not much else i want to put here. i didn't really eat today and i still haven't eating and probably just will tomorrow. i mean i did eat but nothing very filling, so i just feel,, whatever, about stuff.

so in order to not feel that i'll go to sleep so,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[threenorth]

At the end of my work day I'm completly exhausted, to much brain focus not enough calories, and shit food is expensive....

Now I know we said future focused but, there's so much glimmer of you, it's really difficult to know exactly but none the less...

Ryan, Pink,

You make me feel like there is something worth living for a reason I slave at my desk everyday trying to get forward in a world that wasn't made for me and the reason why I still breathe but y'know mainly coming home to you would be something worth the suffering at my job (just over broke), my brain remembered but I think I said it but I gave you an anchor I told you, because you calmed my sea, not to weight me down.

Logan,pale pink.

I'm glad you feel better, I don't know what you went through but I'm always here, unless I'm battling myself... And we're just take turns... And if we're both up shit Creek at least we have each other, and...probably the same psychologist. Jokes a side, I hope you know that no matter what you say, nothing is going to make you sound,less or look less beautiful that you think you might be.

L, pale pink.

I think for me, was the day I was pushed down the hill at primary (elementary), that thing is vicious and I think it's awful to have it in a school ground even for kids under our 6th 'year 6' (10-11 yrs) to your '5th grade' our kindergarten is pre primary, and Secondary School is also called college as I went to Northcote college, but there are people and places like Westlake boys High-school. And then with tertiary our college is university...but either that or the good old toilet bowl, I believe it I recall you said.. You need to name your trumas, haven't had that talk yet but I think you said yours was and I'll take it, abe.

Aspen, green.

Yeah I too miss that but y'know if you want depending on your schedule on my Saturday the whole day we can hang I got 100gb of data monthly now, you can come to the supermarket... Or the gym... Or whatever.

Just as long as you keep me, posted or informed with if A) your tired. B) your mental health getting a little worse. C) what you need to do around the house as chores as we can multi task... Hopefully. IE you dust the kitchen or some shit, and I run on the treadmill.... Speaking of. Treadmill the respotiry instuite called today to say the specialist I was planning to see has quit, and my appointment was rescheduled for. December 11th, so I'm looking on our medical platform database to see what other people might be able to investigate and or to what equipment they have or possibly experience or if they can use my insurance provider...adhd meds wore out so... Hahaha.

Rowan, green.

Distance makes the heart glow? I don't know to me, distance makes it difficult but I don't know if you or I can afford it yet, maybe soon... Ish... We're talk about this in due course...but distance sucks, but at least now there's long distance ergh 'toys' they seem intersting...

Good old aunty Google (nz expression) says 'absence makes the heart grow fonder'(source)

It's a little depressing but we can try watch movies or TV shows via discord or something, we're find something to do until... Hopefully not too long... But there's a few balls. I'm trying to understand currently... Long tale. Called having mental health issues and trying to do work and a degree... Yeahhh f--king kill me. 😂

Keith, red.

My heart always wonders its way back to you.

Keith, purple.

Anytime.... Unless... Oh romance, I got a meeting in the office and I don't pick up but I might see it try hussle my way out, I'm often listening to music on my phone via headphones anyway but best time to get me is 12-1 and if I'm working at home but not wensday afternoon but if I'm at home I can have you on mute throughout some meetings...

Oh and maybe if I got my cynical psychologist... Next Tuesday 5th the whole day is awful hahahaha...Dentist, hygieninst, and othorodonist... 9-12. Then 3-4pm is my shrink.

Yknow what how about your Friday depending when you wake up and if you have the whole day off I'll get up early on my Saturday... But we need to take some turns about who's one either getting up early or staying up late...

Cooper, tan.

You don't need a sign when you know my thoughts or where to find my latest thinking about you.

Regarding a text message? I don't know if I'll ever find your number in my many files I have especially one I tried hiding from myself after the last time I used it, my us cell phone VoIP redirect I posted a couple days ago... Sooo maybe just use Skype? Instagram? Facebook?

😂 You know how to find me, contact me.

Cooper, purple.

You didn't really leave me, per say.

But I would of hoped you would of tried to reach out - non anonymous, I left my Skype open for a few months and I also never blocked you, just - slightly peacefully 'forcefully' removed you out from my life,but you still had message access, I think I didn't change my Kik till maybe 2015? As my phone reset? I can't recall but I remember we had two or. Maybe one Skype call, one when I got angry at you about the prayer flags, and the other I think when something bad happened and you asked me come online...I'm so sorry that's a bit of a blur for me the years since 2014.... Some of it rock soild, others quite vague..

[forabeatofadrum]

The Slovenian Glossary - Part 1

Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

1. Team

He knows that Tivoli Park is just outside the centre, so the greenery is a nice surprise.

Honestly, I love the fact that we’re starting this glossary with a spot we’ll never even see in this fic. That’s mainly because I only set foot in Tivoli Park once. That’s because I would always go to Park Zvezda at Kongresni trg (which is probably why that did become a huge part of the fic) or at the more green areas of the Ljubljana river.

But yeah, Tivoli Park is the biggest park of Ljubljana and there is a lot of stuff to see, but I just didn’t. There’s a Castle and a mansion and lavish gardens. I suppose I didn’t really feel the need. Maybe if I had more time… That’s something you’ll read a lot in this glossary: I wish I had seen more of Ljubljana and Slovenia, but I lived here in the first half of 2020.

His joy gets doubled when he sees a pizza place. It might not be the smartest idea, but Blaine walks towards it.

This pizza place is a reoccurring spot. It’s called Ljubljanski dvor. It’s where Kurt and Blaine first met. They met at the take-out part of the restaurant.

If you turn the corner, you reach the full restaurant:

2. Cork

Kongresni trg is the place to be.

Kurt loves sitting in the grass - on a blanket, mind you, he’s not going to ruin his clothes - and breathing in the scent from the pizza place in the corner. He’s not attached to the square because of its historical value, but because he likes being here. It’s a nice green spot in the heart of the capital. It’s surrounded by gorgeous buildings and you have a stunning view of the Ljubljana Castle on top of the Castle Hill.

God, I loved Kongresni trg as much as Kurt. It was just a nice place, although a lot of mosquitos swarm around. The plaza is split in two parts. There’s the park area, Park Zvezda, and the actual square. Ljubljana Festival is held in summer.

Here’s a photo of a pizza from the pizza place. You can see the grass, because I would regularly take my slices to Park Zvezda.

This little snippet also shows that Kurt and Blaine will be very inconsistent with the names of all these spots. Some will be in English, some will be in Slovene. That’s because I did the same thing when I was there. It was a mix between English (Ljubljana Castle, Dragon Bridge), Slovene (Kongresni trg, Slovenska Cesta) and Dutch (Prešerenplein, Drie bruggetjes). Or I never learnt the name and I remembered it by a vague description (”the pizza place”, “that great Chinese restaurant”, “the market place” “that one street”). I decided to not use the vague descriptions, but I kept the inconsistency. It feels more authentic.

The Maxi Mercator is literally across the street and Blaine laughs when he realises.

The Maxi is a department store. I actually forgot it was across Kongresni trg, so it was a fun coincidence. This building also houses a huge supermarket on its ground floor/basement floor (look, the building has two entrances on different levels, see the second photo, taken from the other side).

“Yes you were, although you probably were looking for the Mercator ten minutes that way,” Kurt says and he points in the right direction. That Mercator is easy to recognise. This Maxi one is basically underground.

I originally wanted Kurt and Blaine to go to this Mercator, since I also remember it being on the big Slovenska Cesta, so yeah, Blaine would’ve passed it during his taxi ride.

“I follow classes at the Academy of Theatre, Radio, Film and Television of the University of Ljubljana.”

I passed this building several times, but I never really paid attention to it, so when I googled where Kurt had to go, I had an “oh, it’s THAT” moment. Obviously, I’ve never been inside. I’ve only seen the inside of the Faculty of Arts and the Faculty of Social Sciences (which had tentacle porn on the wall) (yes, really) and I roamed around campus for a total of 2 weeks before the university closed because of the pandemic.

3. Detailed

This chapter has a lot of stuff, since Kurt gives Blaine a tour of the city!

“And this big road from the inside of the taxi,” Blaine nods towards the road. All the busses and taxis pass it. The Mercator that he saw yesterday evening is also on this road.

“Slovenska Cesta,” Kurt tells him

Honestly, it’s just a big main street, just outside of the heart of the city centre. You get off the bus here and then walk to the centre. Slovenska Cesta also has a lot of shops and two department stores, including the aforementioned Maxi. Bigger brands like Zara are on this street.

They turn right on Čopova ulica, the street that leads to Prešeren Square, or Prešernov trg in Slovene.

Čopova ulica is the aforementioned “that one street”. It is filled with some more bigger and well-known brands, but the street itself is very short. You get to Prešeren Square quickly.

Prešeren Square is a central square. It’s surrounded by gorgeous buildings, as you can see here. The street to the left of the big church is the Čopova ulica.

Seeing the places in real life is still different. The square is surrounded by beautiful buildings with detailed decorations. There is a statue of Prešeren, where people can sit underneath, and also a city model of Ljubljana’s city centre. You can cross the Ljubljanica, the river, to go to the other part of the city centre through the Triple Bridges, the Tromostovje. They walk over the middle bridge.

I got approached by American Christian missionaries here. France Prešeren was a Slovene poet and he is the leading name of the Slovene literary canon. He inspired later Slovene literature and yes, he’s a pretty big deal.

If I remember correctly, there’s also braille here. It’s made from bronze. It’s 2.2 by 2.2 metres, which is pretty huge.

I admit I don’t really know the story behind the Three Bridges. They’re very beautiful, but I don’t know why they’re important apart from architectural value.

Okay, I looked it up. Doesn’t seem like there’s a huge story here. That’s fine. Sometimes it’s just nice to appreciate architecture.

“Get an Urbana card for public transport,” he starts, “I get student discount and I travel for max €20 a month, but usually a bus trip is €1,30 for 90 minutes. This includes transfers.”

It’s the public transport card of Ljubljana. You can get a yellow one when you’re a guest, or a personal one if you’re not. I had a personal one, connected to my name, so that I could have the student discount. I miss the fares of Ljubljana a lot, because here in the Netherlands it is fucking expensive to use public transport. I could travel for 90 minutes for €1,30! In the Netherlands I once had to ride for one stop, 5 minutes, and it cost me €2,50.

“And apply for a Temporary Resident Permit as soon as possible,” Kurt continues, “Print the forms at home, fill them in, and hand them in. You can’t do this digitally, so be prepared to wait eight hours for a small ten minute conversation.”

“What the fuck.”

This photo is from a Slovenian news site written in English, since I am definitely not posting my own. It’s expired, but it has my stuff on it so yeah. These cards are more flimsy than actual ID cards. It’s just laminated paper and yes, it took me 8 fucking hours to request this thing. I was completely fucking losing it.

I did run into some Dutch people here, which was fun. I was waiting with my Dutch roommate and I said to here “Hoe lang denk je dat de mensen naast ons er al zitten?” (“How long do you think the people next to us have been sitting here?”) only for the woman next to me to say “We’ve been here since quarter to eight.” So, that was fun. Turns out this woman has lived in Slovenia for years and she needs to re-activate her residence every year or something. And this is also the place where I complimented someone on their shoelaces. It was a genuine compliment, but the person fell silent before tentatively thanking me and I realised they are probably on Tumblr.

It was a terrible day with a long wait, but it did lead to some fun stories.

“I also highly recommend downloading the Travana app for the bus schedule and the Bicikel app for BicikeLJ, the bike share system, although I also must add that biking here seems to be hazardous.”

God, I loved this app. It worked really well and you could track where the bus was going. I only didn’t have proper data roaming in the country, but alas.

These bike spots were everywhere. They were placed in great spots too, making it very accessible. Unfortunately, they were incredibly uncomfortable. And I just had to have Kurt bitch about the cycling infrastructure of this city. I know that as a Dutch person, I am spoiled, but come on. Bike lanes at the same height as the pavements? Bike lanes straight up disappearing? Holes and everything? And those damn electric steps zooming past you at high speed? I was afraid I’d fall on the street in front of a bus! And then when you get to the bus station Bavarski Dvor, which is the start of the city centre, the bike lane just disappears altogether! My, my, my.

“The študentska prehrana. Boni. Whatever you want to call it,” Kurt says with a shrug, “It’s a student meal system. Students can get cheap food at most restaurants for a small price, twice a day with a four hour interval between them. I think it’s a max price of €4,30 for a main course, side course, something healthy and water.”

I miss the Boni. Basically what happens is that you have to open your Boni app, hold it over that electric device (the ones I saw all had pink cases) and then that’s it. Okay, you do have to show your ID and your student card, which makes sense. My roommate K did once ask how it works, because with the pandemic we didn’t want to underpay restaurants, but this nice delivery person reassured us that the full price will immediately be transferred to the restaurant.

If you want to see some examples of Boni meals, then you can see them here.

Kurt jokes that the city centre is basically two large streets, divided by the river. Blaine would argue that there are at least four streets!

This is also my joke. Of course Ljubljana is bigger than two long streets, but a lot is located on those streets. Basically, the way I see it: you have Slovenska Cesta, the big road on one side of the river, the big road on the other side of the river, and the fourth street parallel to it. I have tried looking up the street names for this post, but it seems like different points have different street names (once again reminding me that this city is indeed larger than 2 or 4 streets). I instead highlighted them on Google maps and I named them, since I will be referring to street 1 to 4 some more in this post.

Kurt shows him some of the more well-known places, like the Town Hall and the market place and of course the Dragon bridge. Ljubljana loves dragons.

The white building on the left is the Town Hall. It’s the building with all the flags. I have never been inside, but the exterior is already really nice to look at. And boy, I passed this Town Hall a lot, since it is located on street 4, which is pretty central. Also, the dm (a drugstore) was right in front of it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

The market place isn’t always this crowded, though. Most of the time, it was an empty square. I actually don’t know when the actual markets happened, which is another reminder of the pandemic, since they didn’t really do markets because of the virus. In the summer, when things started opening up, the market place did host Open Kitchen (more on that later). Honestly, what I remember is that there’s a shitty souvenir shop in the corner and that it has vending machines with milk.

The second photo is… can I call it the exterior? Basically, the market place is a square that is surrounded by nice buildings on three side. The side of the river is photographed above. The photo is taken from street one from street 2, so not from the market place itself. This wall is actually a row of little buildings that are also part of the market.

Maybe I am just not the biggest fan of bridges, but I also don’t really get the hype around the famous Dragon Bridge. It’s just a bridge with four dragon statues on it. Fun fact, when my parents came to pick me up in summer, we walked across it and I told them this is a very famous bridge and suddenly my mum started making a lot of photos of it. That’s how it goes. She wouldn’t have even seen the statues otherwise.

Okay, it is a really beautiful bridge. And it actually does have a story. Ljubljana loves its dragons. There are dragons everywhere in this city. It’s because the story of Jason, a hero from Greek mythology. He supposedly founded Ljubljana and he defeated a dragon at one point.

Kurt recommends Slovenska Hiša, so that’s where they’re heading.

Street 2 and 3 are filled with cafés at the river and it’s a lovely sight. Slovenska Hiša is one of them. I always walked past it and when my parents came over in the summer, I took them there, because it’s related to the restaurant Figovec. I originally wanted Blaine to take Quinn on a date to Figovec, but that didn’t make the final cut.

4. Bat

“Oh. Well. We’re going to try out the Boni. There’s this Asian fusion restaurant that our other roommate swears on.”

DA BU DA is a huge restaurant and it’s definitely become a student hub because of its Boni menu. Funnily enough, the thing that always comes to mind when I think of DA BU DA is that they have great sturdy take-away boxes. I re-used them a lot during my entire stay in Slovenia!

Oh, and C. thought it was a Thai restaurant. She asked if I wanted to join her for Boni at the “best Thai in the city” and the moment I walked in I saw all the Chinese or Japanese (I don’t remember) writing on the wall and went: “Yeah, so, this isn’t Thai.” It’s definitely fusion, since their menu has curries, pad thai, miso soup, ramen, satay and a lot more.

5. Oval

“There’s a rugby field called the Stanežiče Oval, but we can see further in March or April. Kurt, do you want to come along too?”

I have never been here, since like Kurt, I don’t give a shit about sports, but this is what Google showed me. The only reason it’s in the fic is because I needed something for the oval prompt and Jen helped me out. It worked out fine in the end, since I could write the follow-up scene with Sunil confronting Blaine in chapter 17.

[txabier-lost-word-balloon]

My Particular Kind of “Lost.”

I. Thou Shalt Not Fear I won’t blame anything or anyone. After all it was a two-step process. It didn’t come all of a sudden as some absurd stories would have us believe, but now age and experience—and pain, yes—have allowed me to understand the chain of events leading to... this. I was a rather gentle and caring child. A tad hyperactive, perhaps; overly curious, for sure, and as many chidlren my age, I was fascinated with dinosaurs. I loved all those saturday matinee movies on TV, and a few times at the hood’s huge if rather dingy movie theater, where Italian technicolor or US black and white creature features allowed me to indulge in my passion for ancestral creatures menat to fascinate as much as terrorize audiences that, I must admit, were far more naive in those days But it was these big lizard movies that lead to other B&W flick form the 30s, 40s & 50s, which I devoured because they were for kiddie consumption. Aliens, ghost. ghouls & mad scientists filled most of my Saturday TV hours, until I was old enough to stay late and found there was another sort of creature feature playing Thursday, Friday & Saturday nights, and that was... an eye-opener to my younger self. Again, age would give me the precise understanding of the way I felt, and the precise word to describe it: I found it liberating.

Yet, I still had to understand why. Sure, by sixth grade I had been runing a long time with my neighborhood kid posse and was liked—as in they found me ‘not rude’—by the girls both back at school and the nearby neighborhoods, but the upper and lower class ones, as well as my well-to-do middleclass one. l was friends with each and everyone of either sisters or cousins to the would-be truants I called my friends, then. At times, I managed to be some girl’s crush, even if it lasted only for a weekend. Yet, even then it was clear I was the one kid who had become a bit weird in what they liked. Be it movies, TV series or that new craze that was Dungeons & Dragons, coming right across the border to the North, and to my older yet still young uncles who travelled far more than I did., and got those books I later grew to inherit. The not so srprising theing about this “craze,” it seemed, it only really appealed to me in the long run for my peers tried it, considered it cool yet still a passing fad, only fit to fool around during those 1983 summer nights. Still, they seemed far more accepting and enthusiatic about my other interest: horror “stuff” be it movies, comics, novels or what scant memorabilia I could get my hands on, All of it, from any era and country. After all, horror was universal and mostly classless. Ever since I was old enough to earn a few coins for honest toil, I used my money to buy my Revell/Monogram plastic monster bootleg figures (I couldn’t afford resins kits, which were quite rare and very pricey imports), so I had to male do. You know, I’m talking about those cheap knockoff a Mexican boy could get from certain supermarkets or at the “children party fodder” stores, or the itinerant weekly market that visited on Saturdays and set in the frontier between our collective neighborhoods, well three of them, at the foot of the hill where we lived. I remember going there with Mom and Grandma, helping them carry the bags full of produce, and managing to buy some figure or another, as long as it was patently meant to be a monster of some sort. When I grew up a bit more, the 1/8th knock of figures became fully licensed 1/72 miniatures (historical all of them,) and by the time I was fourteen years old, I was also trading cheap knockoff action figures and minitures, to get even more tapes form the local video rental stores. I soon grew to be a known “videohunter,” always on the look for those movies not as popular withe the weekend crowds or had never been rented because no one found their lurid package images appealing. You need to understand shelf space was at premium and the employees needed it to showcase movies everybody wanted and were renting like pancakes. Blockbuster and its seemingly endless selection was still a few year away in the future, and the number of copies was very limited at the usually Ma&Pa video rental stores. Anyway, the point is it was around that time when I began to become “the horror archivisit” among friends, peers and store staff, and while our parents told my brothers and me to never use or accept nicknames and always insist people called us by our names, I secretly loved the sobriquet. Little did any of us know it would be the first step into me becoming what I am today. But back then, I really had no idea that what I liked to share with other kids was considered “cool” to my face, but “freaky and creepy” behind my back, and that the reputation spread, like would at times ignite like gunpowder fire. Several moms looked at me with a strange mix of mild disdain and bewildered fascination, whne they took the time to meet me wheneever I was invited to their homes or introduced at school or in some supermarket or video store isle. It was as if they expected me to be this feral geek who had their children talking about tombs and crypts, or the difference between zombies and revenants, reading authors other than Poe, Quiroga or King; of Japanese folk horror tales called “kaidan,” about how bad The Neverending Story movie was compared to Michael Ende’s novel. I might have come across as “very strange” when someone else described me to their parents, but back then I was uncertain why as I was very much the same as their kids, only with a different set of posters on my section of our room’s wall. These rarified interests I had, and some of the exaggerated tales made up by my friends at school and church, made the adults think I was a weird showoff trying to scare or gross out their rather more “simple, down-to-Earth” offspring, when all I really did was sharing what I knew and read with my so-called friends, who always came to me asking all these weird questions in the first place. While not ostracized, I was marked at a very young age for who I was. In my eyes, then and now, I was the social boy many adults insisted to classify as the misfit only because, by age 12, he had read both Moby Dick and Dracula, and was going through Poe’s The Narrative of Arthur Gordon Pym of Nantucket after devouring all of his short stories.Ssomething none of their children was doing at the time, and I’m sure many of them never did nor will ever get to do. Come to think of it, I’m glad most of those exaggerating telltales never got to see my modest collection of Eerie and Creepy magazines, and the rather more sizeable—for a 13 year-old, anyway—horror comic collection I was able to amass by scraping at my uncle’s piles of old magazines, the reading box at the dentist’s office, my maternal granddad’s lower bookshelves and those I had bought at the newpaper stand a 15-minute walk from our house, sitting near the top of the hill our suburb was located in. Why, sometimes I even went into the underveloped sides of the hill, surrounded by rockstrees and brush, only to read my stuff during the afternoon before the light grew too dim to properly see the vignettes on the page; and I made this no secret. Others could find me there and at times, a few chose to join me in my reading. Yes, sure. Now I can understand those mothers’ wary looks, trying to find what was “wrong” with me. I was an avid reader as a kid, eager to share with others, but I read things many of the adults found unfit for younger minds even when my own parents and grandparents emcouraged me to keep on reading (after carefully filtering those works that were indeed nit suited for me at the time.) In retrospect, I cann see how confused they got when after meeting me I turned out to be polite and affable child, yet one totally uncomprehensible to them when compared with their children once theu started asking wierd questions. Even weirder than those their children asked. Anyway, so the story went, well into my adolescence and, at the time, I enjoyed an increased freedom of movement, which not only meant me going to see horror movies at the dingy local theater, but also my making farther trips to larger bookstores or malls with convenience stores with a books section, which opened up yet a wider world of genre literature. One made up of many worlds that appealed to my increasingly specific—and, yes rarified—preferences. My path was beginning to take a very definite shape. But I didn’t know that, yet. Mind, my childhood wasn’t bad or rough, but right at the sudden and painful end of it, the rest of my life turned out to be quite the journey. Pain and all, I wouldn’t change it for anything in this world. Mainly because of the one movie I was going to watch pretty soon; the one I now know would shape more than a few of the things that were to come, evne if I couldn’t realize it then.

Why, i guess no one could, but with age I discovered some prices one can start paying them way too early in our lives and, oftentimes, one does it with an eager, yearning heart. Usually when the shadows grow and nightfall comes, and there’s something creeping inside our blood inextricably mixed into our thoughts, fed by our incipient desires... and in a very specific case with me, the constant presence of a certain mother, who always was fixedly staring at a young boy who thought it was because of his “reading too much horror stuff.”

[lornahansonforbes]

-2-

Tootsie was all riled up as she was futzing around the kitchen and was putting the potatoes in the sink. She had to wash them before putting them in the pot so she could make mashed potatoes. Each one had a blemish.

“What in the Sam Hill is going on?!,” she muttered to herself. “Damn you, Larabee. Y’all playing feet ball with these here taters? Got more bruises than the Judo championship Or was it that time Earlene put him out with nothing but a fine tooth comb? However he deserved every one of them.” Tootsie scrubbed the taters good enough for her liking and she slowly put them in the pot of boiling water. Just then the Harvest Gold wall phone jangled.

“Hello,” she says into the receiver.

“Hey, Tootsie. I’m stopping by Larabee’s place to get some cream for the pecan pies. Y’all need to me fetch something while I’m there,” asked Tull.

“Well, you ask Larabee if he’s been playing feet ball with his taters. Every one of them has a bruise on ‘em and dirty as a pig sty. Every last one of ‘em,” Tootsie said emphatically.

“I’ll be sure to do that,” replied Tull. “Had you heard from the sisters?”

“Goodness no,” she said. “It’s a blessing and you know as well as I do Teen and Muggy are going to have me on the blower for hours meanwhile I’m not getting a thing done.”

“Yes ma’am and if supper isn’t on the table, Babe is gonna get two fingers of the brown liquor and light up a Chesterfield as she’s telling you about how fast she can get in and out of Piggly Wiggly,” then Tull sighed. “Let me step on it and I’ll see you in a few.”

“Make sure Larabee gives you the fresh cream and not the ones from last night. You know how fast it turns,” Tootsie stated. “And the cream won’t happen once it hits the pie and Minnie say something about us serving that mess from the supermarket.”

They both laughed and rang off. Just like clockwork the seven sisters save for Tootsie was gathering up their pocketbooks and making sure a lamp was left on before they locked the front door. All of them are widows and they all still lived no more than a mile from each other since Howard, Teen’s husband passed some twenty years ago, and they made sure they weren’t that close to each other either but they could possibly be there for each other if something happened but y’all had to wait if their stories were on. Don’t you dare ask them. “My story is on and y’all about hit a hornets nest if I can’t call you back!”

Ever since Howard passed, each sister would have host a Sunday Dinner and it’s clearly marked on the calendar. These old biddies didn’t like it but they did it and just like one chanteuse commented that they were sisters.

[christinesficrecs]

I am drowning in lost fic requests. Please help if you can!! 💜

Hi, I’m desperate to find a fic. I think it was sterek but the only thing I’m sure is that true alpha doesn’t exist. Deaton have Scott some sort of tea that gave him red eyes. And maybe Stiles is a spark. It would be so nice to help. :)

jazzathebunny says it's this steter fic. or it's this sterek fic. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Intention by AliDee12, ReadablePlot | 125.6K | Explicit

The idea of making things better clings to Stiles: He needs to undo even a fraction of what he did, stop it from happening again, make something around him better in a way he can’t for himself.

And things do get better, for all of five minutes.

Hi, I've been looking for a fic, it's magic stiles one and I think it starts with Derek being chased by hunters and and he thinks he's gonna die and then texts stiles that he lives them. I think stiles saves him and he hurt his ankle and they're in a motel?

I love you too, or whatever by yodasyoyo | 2.7K

“You. Love me too.”“Yeah well,” Stiles grumbles. “It’s either love or I’ve had really bad indigestion for the past five years. I don’t know. Take your pick.” He waves a hand airily, cheeks flushing pink.The corner of Derek’s mouth tugs up in a smile. “Well you do eat like a pig. It could be indigestion.”Stiles goes to kick him, and then sucks in a pained breath between his teeth. “Shit motherfucker, fuck, shit.”

I’m looking for a specific fic but I only remember one scene: Stile’s is kidnapped and stuffed into the back seat of a car. They eventually let him go because he’s being SO annoying and he lets it slip that he’s Derek’s mate? Does this sound familiar?

Pry Him From My Cold Dead Fingers by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella) | 10.5K

“So they’re coming for our Emissary because they lost theirs?” Derek asked, somewhat angrily.

“It would appear. The McCall-Hale Pack’s reputation precedes itself.”

“Don’t worry,” Scott said, “we won’t let them touch you.”

Deaton turned to him, offering a private smile before inclining his head slightly. “Very comforting, Scott, thank you. But,” he looked between them, “I’m not the Emissary they’re coming after.”

Derek frowned and shared a look with Scott, who looked as confused as he did.

“What do you mean?” Scott asked. “What other Emissary is there?”

Hi! Was wondering if you or anyone else could remember a Sterek kid fic? Their kid was a boy and his name began with an N (either Nate or Nick) I think. There was a scene where Stiles says “baby” and both Derek and their kid turn to look at him! Thanks!

isaidshakerattleandroll thinks it could be this one?

How Derek Met His Smallest Fan by purpleduvet (maga_nw) | 37.2K | Mature

Derek comes back to Beacon Hills after years of being gone and meets Stiles and his kid at the supermarket.

Hoping you may be able to help find a fic! I think there was a spell placed on Stiles and Derek that collected or was storing energy when they would get together? And it ended up effecting the pack and making everyone randy at some points. I vaguely remember Deaton may have been away and the spell kept making the pack forget to ask or be weirded out by it. Does this sound familiar at all?

Thank you drgrlfriend and isaidshakerattleandroll for the great suggestions!! These are both amazing fics. ❤️

Lap Magnet by Prairie_Grass | 30.7K | Explicit

Wherein an ill-advised floral arrangement leads to a whole new definition of obliviousness, accidental mate-bonds, and far more sex and tropes than one fic really needs.

By a Law Divine by mirrorkill | 23.1K | Mature

Okay, so, kissing Stiles. That's a weird thing that Derek's doing now. He has no idea where it's even coming from, especially considering bickering and fighting is their usual state of existence. And then he does find out where it's coming from: A curse that's making everyone in town kiss someone they have mutual feelings for. …yeah, Derek's not even sure why he's surprised by that.

Hi!! I’ve been looking forever for this story and I’m having no luck so I’m hoping you can help. I don’t remember a lot except one scene near the end of it after Stiles and Derek have gotten together, they’re at the loft and Stiles hasn’t been in contact with his dad (Or something like that). So the sheriff stops by the loft to check on Stiles then gets mad (?) about sterek and Stiles tells his dad that he won’t be able to keep them from being together. After the Sheriff leaves Derek was genuinely surprised that stiles chose him over his dad cause no one has ever chosen him over someone else and Stiles gets mad about Derek’s lake of faith in them. Thank you in advance for any help 😁

The healing touch by devilscut | 96.6K | Explicit

Stiles loses his temper with the rest of the pack when they all make excuses not to volunteer to help their Alpha. Deaton has instructed that for the next 24 hours Derek can't use his hands after he seriously injures them in a magical entrapment. Seeing the emotional hurt that Derek's selfish pack has inflicted on him when they argue and try to get out of it, Stiles volunteers to stay and then proceeds to give the rest of them a verbal ass-kicking. He then takes care of his friend, the Alpha, Derek Hale, while trying to work out what his feelings are towards the werewolf.

So I just came here and was caught by surprise bc I did not think anyone was looking for lost ice anymore sooooo I’m gonna push it out there….. I’m looking for a fic and it is VERY VAGUE like I don’t even know if it’s gonna ring any bells but !!! I remember a fic where stiles says something like “I’m not trying to be a replacement for Paige” or maybe it was like “I’m not gonna be a replacement@ something ???? This could be anything I know but I would appreciate the help!!!!!!

Hi, I'm hoping you can help me find a fic. I'm looking for a fairly long fic where stiles agrees to start having sex with Derek to if he'll let Scott to join the pack. There is a scene where Danny calls Derek out because stiles is too sore to sit. There's also something special about the way stiles can use mountain ash in the fic.

Stiles Wears the Pants in This Pack by TheDreadedSneeb | 95.8K | Mature

Stiles is an awkward badass, Scott is a good friend and person all around, Peter is creepy but helpful, and Derek is not a natural at leading but he really cares about his pack.

can u help me find the fic where stiles finds derek at a bar, but it turns out to be an incubus and stiles keeps coming back to it bc hes willing to take what he can get and he doesnt rlly care that its killing him slowly but eventually real derek comes back to beacon hills?

Satisfactory Compromises by TroubleIWant | 17.7K | Mature

Stiles is basically doing fine. He's surviving, anyways. So what if it's a struggle to get out of bed most days? Back in high school, everything about the supernatural had seemed edgy and romantic and exhilarating, but after seeing everything he has, wanting to go back to ignorance is only natural. Only then Derek comes back to Beacon Hills and says he's in love with him, and everything changes.

For the worse.

Hi, I’ve been looking for a fic where Stiles is being controlled by a mage or something? I think there was a moment where the mage rubs his hand across Stiles’s head and leeches magic from him. The pack didn’t know Stiles, and I believe Stiles was causing damage across the country? It’s NOT the one where he has a kid. Sound familiar?

[dangerousstrawberryshark]

Love in a Hopeless World

A/N: Hello, my 🍓Little Strawberries🍓! I’m back with another fic for you! This was one of the options given to me.

Pairing: Chris Redfield x Male reader

Requested: @evansphnx12

Rating: Mature

Warnings: NSFW, smut, bottom male reader, sir kink, degradation, creampie, size kink, Choking kink, breeding kink, masturbation, and all characters are above the age of 18+

Word Count: 2355

Summary: Its turns out there weren't that many supplies in the old abandoned campus. So, you and Chris have to go deeper into the city to find more but during the little scavenge, Chris began to dirty thoughts...

I hope you enjoy it! Sorry if it’s bad! And sorry for any errors that are found!

If you like what I write, how about check out my masterlist?

Keys:

M/n: Male name.

«••••••••••••••»

[1]

[2] YOU ARE HERE

DISCLAIMER!: I never played or watched any gameplay of the resident evil series. And this doesn’t follow any of the resident evil timelines, it’s on its own.

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MINORS DNI. FEMALE READERS… I’LL ALLOW YOU TO READ MY FICS BUT DO NOT FETISHIZE ANY OF MY STORIES

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Previously...

Then y'all had another round of hot steamy sex. And the others at the base had a hard time sleeping that night.

«••••••••••••••»

Your eyes twitch at the unpleasant light hitting it directly. 'It's morning already?' you moved around only to feel wet sheets. 'What happened last night?'

Then you felt a body move and a muscular arm grab you, pulling you closer. You could feel the warmth, and muscular chest pushed against your back.

'Oh! That's right!' now you remembered why you were all sticky and sleeping against Chris. 'I had sex with my superior! But he felt the same.'

Then you felt Chris move around and waking up. "Hey, baby boy," Chris said with a raspy and deep voice. "Morning." you pressed your lips against his.

"If you continue, we may have to repeat what we did last night, baby," Chris growled as pulled back, gripping your waist. You smirked before getting up.

"Come one, we have to get ready. We have important business," you said. "Ugh, can't we just sleep in and have some... Fun?" Chris complained.

"I know you haven't had sex in 5 years but we need to go get those people. We'll have fun at the end of the day," you said stressing your muscles and popping your back.

The bed creaked meaning he finally got off his ass to get ready. "We need to go get those survivors. And scavenge for more supplies," you said putting your armor on and fixing it up.

After you both got your gear and weapons, you both walked into the main area with all the others.

Everybody looked at you both and immediately looked at way. There was awkwardness in the room. 'They must have heard me last night!' Hell! maybe the whole city heard it is quiet

"Uh,- sir... We have a situation." one of the soldiers said. "shot." Chris said. "Well... it turns out there weren't that many supplies found on the campus. We need more supplies if weren't gonna go get those survivors." the soldier said

You heard listening but your mind began to wonder. You still couldn't let go of the past, you remembered one of your siblings was accepted into MIT. This was 3 months after the Raccoon City Incident.

You would see on the news- Raccoon City survivors being discriminated against by the American people. "Hey, what do I keep saying?" Chris said next to you. His conversation was done.

"Stop thinking about the past, it's long gone," you replied, mimicking his voice. Chris laughed, "Okay, baby. But we need to go get those people."

You nodded but kind of chuckled at the fact that he didn't want to do anything today but now wants to do business.

"Come on, M/n! We have to get going. EVERYONE, protect the base at all cost." Chris commanded. "YES SIR!" they all said at the same time.

You, Chris, and a few others left the confines of the base. Even though it was morning, the sky still had a grey color to it. You open the door to the back seat and closed it.

"We should be there in 20 minutes or less." the driver said starting the engine up. "Alright, let's go." the armored car pulled out before driving down the messy road.

It wasn't long before you reached the waterfront. You could see the skyline perfectly, most buildings were on the verge of collapsing. Others were burnt to where the wall showed the skeleton.

Up ahead, you saw a bridge leading into Cambridge was destroyed. 'Longfellow Bridge.' You have been to Boston before and got to explore everything before the world went hell.

The ride continued for a while. There was nothing or anyone in sight. You could see the freeway ahead but like all other ways leading into Cambridge was destroyed.

"We're closing in on Bunker Hill. They said they are taking refuge by the monument." one of them said.

And wouldn't you know it? In the distance, you could see the tall granite obelisk peaking out. It kind of looked like the one down in D.C. but this one is still standing.

What you meant by "This one is still standing" is because the capital was hit by a nuclear warhead, along with other cities across the US.

The President and other government officials were evacuated and the countries important documents were evacuated as well. So, the legacy of the US would still live.

That means the President is still alive and is in some remote area devoid of zombie life.

"I see some people! They appear to be walking around." one of the soldiers said. And the people seem to notice us because they were waving at us.

"Stop the car," Chris said, the car stopped. He and others got out. Two of the survivors looked familiar? Like you have seen them before. They both were tall and had beards.

They walked up to y'all. "Please, are you here to rescue us?" one of them pleaded. "Yes, we're here to take you to our temporary base," Chris said.

They all smiled and some hugged each other. Chris ordered the soldiers to help some things and you approached the two survivors. "Why do you two look familiar?"

One of them laughed and smiled. "Well...- are you fan of Captain America and Thor?"

Your jaw dropped and your eyes widen. "No. Way. You're Chris Evans and Hemsworth!" you were lost at speech. "I thought y'all was dead! I- how-"

"Well, we survived! I'm not too sure about the others though..." Chris H said with that thick Australian accent. You both were just talking, unknown to Chris R was glaring holes into your head.

After y'all returned to MIT Dorms, you still talked with Chris E and H. You didn't even acknowledge Chris R's glares.

He was getting more and more jealous. 'I hate those two!' Chris yelled in his mind. They were taking your attention from him.

"We have to go M/n! We need to find supplies." Chris yelled at you. 'What's wrong with him?' you thought to yourself. "Bye guys!" You waved at the two Chris.

"He was fun to talk to." Chris H said and Chris E agreed.

«••••••••••••••»

TIMESKIP (To Supermarket)

«••••••••••••••»

You and Chris arrived at the market. There were some abandoned cars in the parking lot. "Come on." You both walked to the doors and opened them.

The place was absolutely trashed. Lights flickering, aisles tipped over, some cans on the floor - also money, which was useless-, and the roof caved in on the left side.

"Look for non-perishables. Canned food would be good and find any water- if there is any that is." you nodded your head before going down one of the aisles.

There were some canned foods but no water. The smell of a rotting corpse filled the air, you could hear flies buzzing. "Ugh." you covered your nose and looked at the rotting corpse. "Poor bastard..."

Meanwhile, Chris was looking for the same stuff, but he was still bitter about you talking to those guys. And completely ignoring him. He could already imagine your punishment.

He could imagine you begging for more, feeling the tightness of your ass wrapped around his cock. 'Shit.' Chris was getting hard. His cock was feeling restricted by the tight pants.

"Hurry up, M/n!" Chris yelled from the other side of the store. "Okay!" you finished gathering anything you could find. 'Why are we leaving early? We have few more places to loot/raid.'

You left the aisles and made your way to the front doors. "Come on, we have to go." you both we made went to the vehicle and drove back to base.

You had found some supplies. 15 canned foods, and some water as well. It wasn't much, but it's something.

«••••••••••••••»

TIMESKIP (Arrival at the base.)

«••••••••••••••»

You and Chris arrived at MIT. You were gonna go talk with Chris E and H, but Chris R wasn't having it.

"Hey-" Chris grabbed your hand and began to rush to the room. Everyone knew what was gonna happen. 'Ah, shit- there gonna go at it again.'

At the room, Chris pinned you against the wall and latched his lips onto yours. The kiss rough, his much larger body pushed against yours shows the difference in size.

His tongue pushed against your teeth telling you to open them. You slowly pushed your mouth, Chris immediately pushed his tongue and invaded your mouth.

"Mmm-" you moaned into the kiss as Chris began to grip your ass. "Up." He growled into your ear. You wrapped your legs around his waist and continued to make out.

He lifted you and carried you to the bed. He slammed you onto your back before pulling away and attacking your neck. "A-ah!" Chris found your sweet spot.

"You belong to me, M/n! I claimed you that night we had sex last night!" Chris growled. "Strip." he quickly removed his clothes, leaving him in his boxers.

You could see the outline thick meaty cock. "You got hard from just kissing me?" you laughed. "You don't talk me like that! You're the slut here." Chris growled as he gripped and slapped your thighs.

You whimpered under the touch. "Look at you, whimpering under me. And your pathetic cock got hard from me hitting you. But let's see what this ass has to say." Chris said as he put your legs on his shoulders

You then felt his thick slicked fingers at your entrance. One finger slips in, your muscles immediately clenched at the invader. "M-mm." you gripped the sheets as his finger pushed deeper.

Then a second finger went in. You clench even more as it did a scissor motion. "Aagh!" you felt his fingers touch the bundle of pleasure. "You're ready."

Chris pulled his fingers out to see your hole doing a grabbing motion. 'Fuck... that's hot.' Chris threw his head back while jerking his cock. "Can't wait to pound this slutty boipussy."

You felt his fat tip push past your tight ring. "Mmm... C-Chris!-"

Smack

"YOU DON'T CALL ME THAT! You didn't learn from last time? You. Call. Me. Sir. You got that?" Chris growled/yelled. "Y-yes, Sir... It's just that... You're so big..." You whimpered.

Then with one Thrust, Chris pushed his entire cock inside. "See? You're taking all 12 inches of me! Fuck, so tight..." Chris groaned. His cock was touching your prostate.

His thick meaty cock filled your insides perfectly. Like you were made for each other. "Y-you're... splitting m-me... in two!" you moaned as you felt it throb and twitch.

"P-please... fuck me... make me your slut." you begged. Chris smirked before snapping his hips.

He began pounding into you. His big cum-filled balls smacked against your ass as he thrusts harder. "S-sir! Y-you feel... s-so good!" You moaned as you threw your head back and gripped the sheets tighter.

"You think those guys can fuck you like I do?! Only I can give you this pleasure, only me!" Chris growled as he thrust harder, hitting your prostate repeatedly.

You used the last of your strength to get up and wrapped your arms around Chris's neck. You clawed his back as he thrust more, you were sure those were gonna leave marks.

"Maybe those guys can give me more pleasure," you smirked at your fake statement. You heard a deep growl as Chris dropped you on the bed and flipped you onto your stomach.

"You fucking slut! Only I can give you this much pleasure! Those guys don't deserve you. Bet their cocks aren't as big as mines." Chris growled as he gripped your hips.

Sounds of skin-slapping and balls slapping against your ass filled the room and the others in the building had to hear it. The walls weren't soundproof.

Your cock was twitching, ready to release a load. "You're about to cum without me touching you! Well, I'm -FUCK- about to cum too." Chris groaned as you tighten around him.

"P-please... give me... y-your load!" You moaned as you arched your back to give Chris more access. "Want me to fill this slutty ass with my cum? Gonna... cum... soon!"

After 5 more thrusts, Chris reached his breaking point, and so did you.

"FUCK! I'M CUMMING! CUM WITH ME!" Chris groaned, he wrapped his hand around cock stroking it before you released it all over his hand. That was enough for him.

"FUCK!" you felt his cock twitch before pumping his hot load inside, filling you up to the brim.

*Breathing intensifies*

Chris collapses onto the bed right next to you with his cock still inside. You felt him pull out with his cum leaking out. "I'll never leave you for those two. My heart only beats for you," you said sincerely turning over to face him.

"I'll never leave you too. We'll be together until our time runs out." Chris said pulling you into a kiss filled with passion and love.

'There is still Love in a Hopeless World.'

THE END.

«••••••••••••••»

A/N: Finally this is done! I hoped you enjoy this, by 🍓Little Strawberries🍓!

[isbergillustration]

This is a Ghost Story: Part II

After that first séance, things get easier. The ghost eases up on the spookiness, and now instead of threats in the steamed up mirror, it says things like YOU ARE GOING TO BE LATE, and the concern is touching. It is still a bit ominous, but that has got to be part of the job, being a ghost. Part of the style. They still haven’t told me their name, or when they died, or if they want anything other than late night TV, and also maybe some nice scented candles.

I see those words, that ominous warning in the mirror, and check my mobile to see that the ghost is in fact correct. Shit.

“Hey,” I yell through the door while hurriedly towelling my hair off, “we need to have a talk about privacy! About you maybe not being in the bathroom while I shower!”

Hopefully, if my neighbours hear, they will assume I’ve just gotten a lover of some sort. Hah. If only. But I don’t think anyone cares. The building is dense, but the plumbing is actually an antique, and sound travels through the pipes in unsettling ways.

This building is actually pretty nice. The facade is nice and ornate, and the sides and back are mostly brick covered in some sort of crumbling layer and poorly overpainted graffiti. It used to be two massive flats on each floor, for rich people, on either side of a long corridor, but at some point someone decided it would be more economical to split them into three units each. Mine is the smallest size, and if the old blueprints I found at the library were right, my bedroom used to be a tiny maid’s room. But there are nice things about it. The flat has very high ceilings, with one of those fancy relief things where there might once have been a ceiling lamp. The windows are massive, too. Which makes the place nice and light, but it also means it gets cold as fuck in the winter.

The building faces a big park, filled with tall trees as the ground rises into a hill. If you’re on the right side, you look out at a playground, where people do drugs at night. I’m on the other side, though, so my view is of the car park behind an all night supermarket. Which could be worse, I could be looking right into the window of a neighbouring window, but I can’t help but envy the old lady across the hall from me who gets the park view.

I work in a café, because that’s what you get, doing a degree in fine art. It’s across the city, a long commute, but I’ve been there for a year now, and I like it. My co-workers are nice, everyone respects my pronouns and the owner lets us ban people if they’re being homophobic. It does mean having to get up at five in the morning four days a week, though, which is not something I enjoy. Especially not when there are mysterious howls from the basement. There’s only one flat down there, and whoever lives there is into some weird shit. Or maybe they just watch horror movies with some seriously impressive speakers.

Today, though, I’ve switched with a co-worker, the one with a thirty centimetre tall mohawk, so I’m on afternoon till evening. The sun is low by the time I start, and the first few hours are slow. A few hours in, though, after it has gotten dark, a familiar face walks in. One of my neighbours. He’s got bright red hair, ridiculously pale skin and wears exclusively clashing neon colours, so he’s quite recognisable. I don’t know exactly which flat he lives in, but it’s below mine somewhere, I think. I see him around occasionally, and it’s enough that I see him recognise me too as I take his order. Some ridiculously suryp laden and intensely caffeinated monstrosity. Maybe he works nights. Would explain the pallor. He goes to talk to a woman I think I might have seen around our building too, but she looks more normal so it’s more difficult to say. They’re not there together, though, because he sits at a different table.

I get busy with orders for a while, and by the time I look over, there is a woman at the table with him. She looks quite intense, and has a notebook and pen, so maybe it’s some sort of job interview? The woman who might live in my building keeps very obviously watching them, while badly pretending not to do so. I can see her type nonsense into her laptop while looking at the conversation out of the corner of her eye. Well. That’s none of my business.

When I get home, the words TV DOESNT WORK arewritten on my living room wall in dripping bloody letters. Great. I really need to get some of those letter magnets for the fridge or something. The blood is a pain to get out of the wallpaper, which is vintage, so I’m not allowed to switch it out or anything. I roll my eyes, and turn the thing off and on again, and the screen lights up. Suddenly, the atmosphere in the room fells lighter, less oppressive. Huh. Neat.

“Boring day?” I ask.

The kitchen cupboard doors slam in some approximation of Morse code. I take that to mean yes. I start a list on my phone. Fridge letter magnets. Spirit Box (too expensive). Sheet with holes in (for joke) (offensive?).