#and only if i redraw everything a million times.

[fure-dcmk]

FINALLY WATCHED THE MOVIE first impression rambling >>>

[MILLION DOLLAR PENTAGRAM SPOILER WARNING]

HEIJI WAS SOOOOO COOL. HANDSOME. TERRIFIC. the first 20 minute is just me losing my mind from all the heiji details

>> heiji and kid bantering about fairy lips in the intro. kid going your fault for not noticing hmmp! <- huh? are you a tsundere heroine

>> HEIJI ORIGINAL DUFFLE BAG!!! CAMEO-ING IN 2024!!!

>> 4 new outfit from heiji that fits him so well... handsome guy

>> a fairy lip redraw. i died

how the hell did heiji brought his bike with him all the way in HOKKAIDO. you can almost way osaka to tokyo is only half of the travel to hokkaido how many day trip would it take to reach that far. also a jp tweet i read once brought to question how a high schooler was able to use the high way. did he brought kazuha with her in this extreme trip? with the excuse that he's going for a kendo tournament... when his bigger agenda is to confess. everything about the bike being there doesn't make sense but i give it a pass for being cool 😁👍

and the heikazu scene.,.. i came there fully expecting to not care at all but they actually made me invested. ran was SOOOO CUTE her excitement directly influenced me to also want to see heiji succeed. heiji asking if the legendary 100 million night view is better than big ben and ran agreeing just to placate him for the sake of her otp 😭

THE STUN GRENADE! the fact that kazuha immediate reaction is to protect heiji ears.... her self sacrificial nature a call back to mermaid island in the most subtle way 🥹🥹🥹 heiji shocked eyes was so cute. and heiji confession speech isnt cringe and is actually cute! shocker! (sorry trauma from heart anniversary lines its so awful im dnfuebdjfjf) devastated such an ideal confession scene was wasted. but its from kazuha trying to save heiji SO FORGIVEN

need to make sure ppl know im a momiji enjoyer. all her faults are forgiven purely cuz she is funny. let a rich girl be delulu !

also loove how they keep cannonizing her keen hearing from m21 THIS IS THE APPEAL OF KAZUHA THEY GET IT

touichi gifting a lost national treasure to his little brother yuusaku for winning the macademy award, as well as keeping in touch with him and gifting various trinkets.... meanwhile keeping his own son completely in the dark that he's alive this entire time...

conclusion 1: worst parent award goes to kuroba touichi 🥳🥳🥳

conclusion 2: ah he's definitely a brocon huh

kills me that everyone is dejected that the katana with the star shaped guard is a lost treasure. meanwhile its quitely sitting in kudo yuusaku's store room cuz his big brother gifted it to him LIKE SDJDJFF!? turning your justice leaning lil bro into an accomplices. the gag potential here is so made for me

shoutout to sonoko who took up haibara's usual information provider role. every scene with her was animated so cutely IM SHOCKED m27 doing excellent job at showing off her cuteness. there is a fun parallel to think about, sonoko was the first person heiji went to to get information on kudo's whereabout, and now heiji is also going to her for information ♥️ heiji-sonoko friendship crumb thank you for the food

this movie really play a lot with the crumbs from kendo school tournament arc. heiji-ran friendship makes me want to cry, ran efficiently karate chopping hijiri to make sure theres no distractions for heikazu 🥺😭 ive been convinced on okita's cuteness the past 3 month cuz if the okita fanart boom in my corner of jp twitter but watching it for myself... he really have it bad for heiji LMAO wdym "it's boring if hattori ain't here~" how much did you say this for kaitou kid to catch that its a good trait for an okita disguise. im glad this movie give a good balance of real okita and fake okita, m10 still makes me so sad for having ZERO real hakuba 🥲 kid's dosu e~ is so moeblob

ah i still got so many word vomit on this movie it seems to be never ending 😭😭

my final review of the movie is this is my no 1 fav conan movie of all time, 2nd place is bride of halloween. i still havent rank anything below that properly. im truly entertained by this movie it got so many characters i care about with a lot of bombastic scenes. as much as i want to say my ultimate fav is m7 and m21, both of them are kinda... slow with all the deduction talk. im here for eye candy after all 😔 mixing kid's energy is doing wonders for the tone of a heiji movie. heiji's presence is also doing wonders for KID as well cuz gosh!!! KID has never emit this much childlike moe blob energy. heiji and conan being the straight man to kid's prank is the dynamic really help to emphasize his whimsical energy

and the final theme i caught; parallelism where hijiri is willing to do anything to protect his father's legacy only for us to find that its all for naught.... now why does this sound familiar 🤔🤔🤔

rewatching the movie tomorrow so ill probably do another ramble on it

[calicough]

maybe if – hazel callahan

— maybe if she did things differently.

angst. architecture student!hazel.

hazel's hands never left the paper laid on top of her drafting table while she took a sip of her coffee. the tip of her pencil gliding and making strokes across the surface, erasing and redrawing the lines that she wasn't satisfied with, keeping in mind her professor's criticisms on her concept design. her project was "too ambitious" according to her professor, but a "refreshing idea" nonetheless. hazel understood where her professor was coming from. designing a cafe that drew inspiration from japanese, baroque, and modern architecture was bound to look... messy. she settled with a modern japanese cafe, afraid to risk her grade with her modern baroque idea.

hazel callahan was not scared to take risks. that word was never a part of her vocabulary. i mean her high school life consisted of broken noses, sore ribs, dead football players, and tiny explosives that she loved creating. but that was until you left her tear-streaked face standing by the sidewalk. the streetlights illuminated your shaking figure, head down and arms wrapped around your body. you grew smaller and smaller until hazel can no longer see you.

feeling her neck starting to cramp, she placed her pencil down and cracked her fingers before stretching her neck and her entire body to release the tension that accumulated in her muscles. she picked up her notebook that was on her bed and flipped through its pages to look back at her drafts, gathering inspiration on how the cafe's interior should look like. after stopping on a certain page, she noticed a doodle drawn at the lower left-hand corner. it was a doodle of one of your favorite characters. they were the only thing that you could draw. hazel chuckled as she gently caressed the drawing, afraid that it will disappear.

she remembers a portion of that night, a month before graduation. "hazel..." your voice wavered as you sucked in a breath. "i think it's time that we end this."

"what?" was all that she could muster out after a long silence. hearing those words felt like her heart jumped off a tall building, shattering into million pieces as it hit the ground. the tears forming in her eyes was blurring her vision of you. what did you mean by that? this has to be some kind of a joke, right? "are you serious?" she looked straight into your eyes, searching that mischievous glint that would appear whenever you're pranking her. but it wasn't there. you were actually serious.

"i don't want to pull you down with me," you told her. hazel didn't understand it back then. she thought it would be a nice surprise to let you know that she'd be enrolling in the same university as you. she thought that you'd be delighted if you learned that she rejected the offer of one of the top architectural universities in the world just because she wanted to spend her time with you and be near you. but you weren't happy. and she understands that now. she would also be angry if you didn't grab the opportunities laid out in front of you, if you didn't follow your dreams. "i don't want you to risk everything that you ever hoped for and dreamed of just for me."

hazel closed her eyes as you walked away from her and prayed that it wasn't real. that in any second, you would wake her up from this nightmare. that when she opens her eyes, you are right in front of her with that golden smile that adorns your features. as she opened her eyes, she was greeted by the walls of her dorm room. of course you weren't there.

hazel did accept the offer two days after you broke up, hoping that it'll somehow magically fix your relationship. but the damage was done and she is now staring at your doodle in her notebook. smiling to herself, she placed her notebook down on the table and returned to drawing, hoping that you're doing well wherever you are. that you're happy.

if only she had done things differently back then. maybe if she didn't outright reject the offer from the university. maybe if she took her dreams a little more seriously. maybe one day, if by some chance fate decided to bring you back together, she'll show you how much she had changed. hopefully, she'd be able to hold you in her arms and never let you go again.

aahhh!! this was inspired by the kdrama our beloved summer and the song maybe if by bibi. i rlly like the idea of architect hazel hihi she'd look so cute carrying that big blueprint tube. anyways, i hope you guys enjoyed this one! and thank you for all the love on my first work, it rlly means a lot to me :] <3

[entomolog-t]

Bite Me - Chapter 2

Chapter 2 is here!! Slight deviations from the OG lil comic, but that just means I will have to redraw it. Aedes is having a pretty rough night.

Taglist: @smallsday @ratcatcher0325 @not-a-space-alien

- - - -

Previous Chapter: Chapter 1

Next Chapter: Chapter 3

Word count: 1686

CW: Mentions of blood, Adult language

June Murphy sits bolt upright, awaking to a sharp pain on her neck. A small but significant weight falls onto her lap as her mind blinks away the remnants of a dream. Confused, she looks down, squinting in the dark of her room. There was something on her lap- 

It moved.

The sudden movement catches June off guard- a startled yelp escaping her lips. Something was in her bed. Something alive. Was there a mouse in her bed?? A rat?? The… thing takes off, scrambling in a way that causes her unease to rise. It didn't move right- It's limbs too long for a rodent, it's body far too thin. What could it- before she could finish her thought, it stood. 

She didn’t scream - she couldn’t. Fear seemed to constrict her voice into some strained combination between a gasp and a yell. 

What the fuck was in her bed!?

This felt like it should be a dream... but everything, despite the absurdity, felt very, very real. Yet, as if under the influence of some bizarre feral instinct, she feels like a bystander as she watches her hand shoot out, catching the figure in a tight fist. As soon as her fingers clasp around it she feels it squirm and thrash within her grasp, weird not-rodent legs kicking wildly. She shudders. It… it was snarling… was it feral? She feels as it claws into the flesh of her palm and a sense of dread wells up along with the pain; What if this thing was rabid?  

In the dark of her room, June struggled to make out details, but whatever it was it did not like being caught. Steeling her nerves, she hesitantly brings it closer to her face. Her movement seems to only result in more frenzied struggles from the…the… What the Hell was that??

She blinks. 

The scene before her is beyond surreal. A man- a very tiny man- thrashed about wildly in her grasp. As her eyes adjust to the dark, they meet with its- his own; wide with horror. 

Her gaze falls to his lips- smeared red with blood. It gives a terrified little cry, sounding all too human in its fear.

All at once, June was wide awake.

It… it really was a man. A very tiny and very terrified man in her hand… A million questions seem to sound off at once in her mind. Was it really a man?? Maybe he was some sort of …creature?? Could he speak? Why was he in her house? Her last question fills her with a growing sense of horror at the snarling being in her hand…Why… Why was he in her bed?

The creature snarls, and before June has time to react- the creature bites, her hand releasing reflexively. She watches in horrified fascination as the thing jumps, diving off the side of her bed, its desperation all too clear in the way it scrambles to its feet.

The tiny frame of the… the what? The creature? The word felt wrong in her mind. That was no creature. That… that was a man. She watched as the tiny frame of the something darted around the corner of her desk. June felt like her brain was on autopilot. In a flash she was out of bed and dropping to her hands and knees, sliding herself in place between the door and the…. The… being. 

“No, no, no, no-” A flurry of desperate words came from the creature. June drew in a sharp breath at the sound… It could speak. For a second, the thought sent a shiver down her spine. What the Hell had she found? As her eyes strained to adjust in the dark, she began to make out more details in its form. It moved erratically; head on a swivel- until its gaze settled on her… She felt uneasy. It looked intelligent… It looked like a man.

He was long limbed and lean, with a mess of black hair cut short at the sides. Her eyes were drawn to his ears, long and pointed and certainly not human. Was he an… elf ? A fairy? Despite him being directly in front of her, her mind dismissed the thought. That was ridiculous… Though, this whole situation was ridiculous, wasn’t it? 

His chest heaved he backed himself into the corner of where her desk met the wall. It… he stared up at her, his large ears pinned back. She thought she might have glimpsed tears glittering in those tiny eyes… but more unnervingly, she could very easily see the blood on his lips. As he catches her eyes on his face, he frantically wipes the blood away- his movements unnaturally quick. 

"Please." His voice, far deeper than she would have expected, cracked as he spoke. The sound made June wince, "Don't…" He stared up at her, eyes wide as he choked out his words "-hurt me."

His words caught her off guard- why would she… she wouldn’t-  oh.  June sees the way the little man holds his side. Had she hurt him when she grabbed him? She hadn’t meant to but… she certainly hadn’t been gentle in her panic either. 

"Oh… no-I …I would never…." June struggled to find the words. She was still battling with the absurdity of the situation and his near palpable fear seemed to catch her off guard. For a moment, a fraction of the tension leaves the little man's frame. Almost as if acting on its own, June’s hand slowly reaches forward, wanting to comfort the pitiful sight. 

The movement, however subtle, did not go over well. The man fell back, his back pressed firmly in the corner of her desk and the wall. Had there been even the slightest gap between the two June had no doubt he would have shoved himself between the two to avoid her touch. His face twists to a look of complete terror- eyes desperate and pleading.

“No! No, please!”  She froze. Never in her life had she heard a voice so filled with fear, “Stay away from me!” June immediately withdrew her hand. His chest rose and fell with such speed it made her sick to her stomach. She felt her throat tighten… the thought of causing someone so much distress was overwhelming to the point of suffocating. She racked her brain for something-anything to say, but his shakey words interrupted her frenzied thoughts. 

"Are you trying to catch or-" his voice faltered, "-kill me?"

Oh.

She grimaced. June didn't like that question… mainly because she was all too aware of her answer. 

"If I'm being honest," she began, the words feeling like sandpaper on her tongue, "I do want to …um, catch you." She cringed. The word itself seemed to catch on her tongue..it felt dirty. You didn't catch a … a person. Was that what he was? But people… well people certainly weren't this small- And he was in her house! At the very least she deserved some answers... But even as those thoughts rose in her mind she knew all too well that they were just justification for a much greater force at play; curiosity. For a brief moment, the little man's breathing stops, his jaw agape, frozen from her admission. June watches as he looks quickly to her side, clearly looking to make a dash, then thinking better of it. As his eyes square back to her there seems to be a shift in his demeanor. She fumbles with her words, trying to elaborate in a way that doesn’t sound so blatantly awful, “I mean- It.. its not-”

“-And what if I don’t want to be caught?” There's venom in his words. His voice is angry… accusatory, but most potent of all, his voice is racked with fear. The raw emotion distills an unease June, as if the potency is just too much to take in. There was no lying to herself, no pretending she was unaware. Even in the dark corner of her room his fear was clear as day, and she knew without a doubt she was the source. Yet, his fear of her wasn't quite the source of her unease. No… it was that she knew she had all the power to stop it. She could just let him leave, whatever he was… but she wanted- no, she needed answers. She refused to outright think it, but the concept was still there in her mind, abstract and untouched; Until she got answers, his feelings came second to her own. 

“If you didn’t want to be caught by me, then just what were you doing in my house?” 

All at once he goes rigid. Petrified.

Shit. 

June swallows her frustration, immediately back peddling. 

“Look, you’re not- I don’t have to ca-” June sighs, rubbing her temples. There really was no good way to word this. "You don't have to be… caught…”  The word still sticks in her throat, “I.. I just need some answers.”

She swallowed. Both literally as well as the guilt that gnawed at the edges of her mind. He looked horrified. 

“I.. I really don't want to scare you... I just… don't want you to leave…Not before I get some answers.” June grits her teeth. Each of her responses left a foul taste in her mouth. She knows what her words truly mean;  you’re my hostage until I get what I want. She pushes that thought deep down, wanting to forget her disgust.

“I don't have to be caught as long as I don't leave??” His fear seemed to evaporate for a split second as fury bled into its place, “Being caught and not leaving are the same damn if the premise is I don't want to be here!!” Just as fast as the rage had filled him it left… deflating him. His expression turned desperate, "And what happens if I try to leave, huh?" June sees tears welling up in his eyes. "Would you just catch me then?"

“I-” June’s voice falters. She knows her answer instantly, worse yet, she knows the shame on her face makes it clear.

" … I'm sorry."

[askfallenroyalty]

my thoughts on finishing AFR (tumblr version)

Firstly, thank you all so, so so much for reading.

5 years ago, on February 19th, 2018, 2:24 PM I posted the first AFR comic. I drew it thinking it'd be a nice little project for a few months, and then I'd move on. Little did I know it'd become a huge passion project and something that's brought me many, many tears and laughter. It's been a journey making this thing, I can easily say I am hardly the person I am when I first made this. I've learned so much about myself, the world, and what I wanted to say in comics.

AFR didn't become a serious project until I realized Asriel and Chara's story hit home to me and I realized I had something more profound to say than just "heehee silly ut comic where siblings squabble." Now it's become a story about growing up, and the life after the "happy ever after." What does it mean for "everybody to live?" well, you live. You suffer. You cry and laugh and it's everything you want and you fear. You wake up another day.

It's no secret that Chara and Asriel are heavily based on myself. Every OC and every character I can put my grubby little hands on have been influenced by me. Yun's excitement for monsters, Mew Mew's loud declarations of frenzied thought, Hol's quiet, head-in-the-clouds nature... the list goes on. Knowing the characters now, I'm excited for the redraw as I can paint their stories from start-to-finish properly. It pains me more than anything I can't just say "here's a finished product, fully and forever." But one step to getting there was finally finishing the tumblr version. So even if I were to die, or lose my ability to draw, I can say: I told my story. I made it real. It's messy, incomplete, and not at all what I aspire it to be, but it's here. And that means, so, so much to me.

Never again will I be accepting story asks. Never again will we see what crazy thing Asriel and Chara are up to in their journey into adulthood. While the story will continue to develop, it has it's ending.

I've grown, a lot. I started this when I was 21 years old. I've had a on/off relationship, I've learned I'm neurodivergent, I've moved out of my abusive dad's home. I've had so many jobs in that time. I lived through the pandemic (not that it's over) and I've made and lost (out of touch) friends along the way. I am Sam. I drew AFR. I still have so much left to do to make it fully realized but I did it.

And in that time people have offered me grammar and spelling corrections. Advice, suggestions, fanart. You've sent like, I can only imagine to be at least a thousand asks in this amount of time. You guys have been a huge part in this comic being made. Even as the story moves more and more away from the "Ask" part of the title, you guys made it so much more fun, thought provoking, and exciting.

So while my minds a bit scattered and I'm kinda jumbled up, I just want to say with every bit of myself: THANK YOU!!!!!

I understand if many of you don't choose to stick around for the redraw, I'm more than thankful to anyone who's read this far (or heck, just one tumblr post is enough. I feel seen.) and if you so choose to stay, I look forward to sharing a million more little moments with you. ^_^

Thank you and I wish you the very best, have a good life. Peace and love on the planet earth <3

[randomthefox]

You know how SEGA will tell flynn he isn't allowed to depict or use certain concepts because he'll absolutely make something stupid and awkward if given the chance?

I really wish SEGA forbid flynn from depicting moral quandaries or ideological clashes of any kind. The rank sewage that came from idw's mercy and freedom spiel has caused so much contamination.

I really wish SEGA would cancel the comic all together.

SEGA is only gonna put their foot down on something if it disrupts brand integrity. Like imagine if it was a Star Wars comic. Disney isn't gonna give a shit if the comic has a long winded diatribe about the morality of blowing up the death star because it technically had noncombatants in it. But if it had a page where Luke Skywalker was even alluded to slaughtering a bunch of Yuuzhan Vong children because they're objectively evil, then Disney would be like "you can't fucking draw the hero of the franchise killing children =| "

As a massive multi million dollar corporation, SEGA really doesn't give a shit about the quality of the story telling. They just want to make sure there's a minimum 2% chance that someone who is aware of the comics existence will also buy a lunch box with Sonic the hedgehogs face on it. And they want to ensure there is as close to a 0% chance as possible that Jimmy's Mom will write in with complaints about the comic giving her son nightmares. Everything else is absolutely irrelevant in SEGA's eyes as long as the checks keep getting signed.

Whatever Sonic Team member reviews the pages as part of the final pass is A: probably someone different every time and it's just whoever gets to the email in the group inbox first, and B: doesn't have any REAL authority over the comic, they cannot demand a complete rewrite which would force the issue deadline to get extended, all they can really do is make feedback suggestions which CAN be ignored. As Flynn himself admitted, "SEGA" didn't want them to use the Shadow Androids to kill off the Diamond Cutters, but the comic used them anyway, so clearly Flynn CAN just say fuck you and write whatever he wants IF he wanted to. Flynn and Stanley have both given second hand recounts of what it's like to get "Feedback" from "sega" about the scripts they send in, where they're "encouraged" to do this or that. I'd give quite a lot to see the actual email exchanges and find out what "SEGA" is telling them VERBATIM and in context. Because I'm sure my imagination doesn't do it justice.

The fact is the comic staff have a lot more power over what goes into the comic than they want to admit. Because they like presenting themselves as the scrappy underdogs fighting for artistic integrity against the yoke of big bad "SEGA"s attempts to force them to conform to corporate policy. It's not like if, for example, Adam Bryce Thomas said "fuck you I'm not redrawing it" about the pages he posts with the Original Expressions that got red penned, "SEGA" would put their foot down and threaten to cancel the comic if they didn't make the corrections. The feedback suggestions for changes USUALLY get implemented because these writers and artists are just contractors and don't actually fucking care, it's not like any of them think they're writing the great american novel or anything.

The stupid morality bullshit ends up in the comic because Ian Flynn and Evan Stanley are immature amateur hack fraud writers who do not properly consider the implications of what they're writing, and because SEGA doesn't actually give a shit about the comic. That's really all it comes down to.

[sanityshorror]

the julius redraw of my beloved patrick led to julius becoming my other beloved. they're both so.....😍*chef's kiss* 💋could you please write a scenario about these two pretty boy psychos meeting each other for the first time? thank you❤️

Awe thank you so much, I'm glad you love Julius! I put so much work into him and I'm working on soooo many projects about him 👀 As for the scenario, I apologize but I really don't have time and I don't write fanfiction involving my own characters (I created Julius, to be clear; he's my character 😭) BUT I can tell you my silly HCs of if somehow their different universes collided and they met!

Given Patrick's personality and knowing Julius' like the back of my hand, unfortunately I do not see any sort of friendship ever forming between the two. Neither of the men are prone to form a genuine bond with anyone. Now, I can confirm that there are a few exceptions for Julius but it's very, very, very few. As for Patrick, it's up to one's interpretation of if he can/does form a true bond, I personally interpret him to be similar to Julius: no, with extremely rare exceptions.

While I do not see a genuine bond being able to form between the two, I absolutely do see them both as having a mutually beneficial fake-friendship. They're both east coast, coked up, sex addicted, rich white men who lead double/multiple lives and are deceptive as all hell. They both are also very obsessive over image, appearance and social status/perception. Now what I absolutely do believe would happen is Patrick forming an obsessive infatuation but intense jealousy towards Julius due to multiple reasons.

I'll explain:

Julius was born in a working class family during the Victorian era who immigrated to America and became a mainly self made multi-billionaire (being married to the Boss of the Boston Irish Mob brings in a lot of money on top of his own very successful business). Patrick on the other hand, despite being born into wealth still doesn't hold a candle to Julius' riches. Patrick may own a Manhattan penthouse but Julius could buy the entire building if he wanted to, and without batting an eye at the price tag given the multi-millions that roll in weekly for him.

That brings me to another reason: sheer status and power. Julius is so elite that brand names mean nothing to him and he sees brand names as something for the poor. Julius owns a very popular, top of the line, extremely expensive dress shop and boutique. Everything is hand made by him (he doesn't even use sewing machines), one of a kind and the man is talented. His shop is so revered you need an appointment just to get in and people will save up for years and fly across the country, even across the ocean to get a dress. (Of course, only the lucky actually leave the shop....) Basically, Julius' wealth and god like status (he can literally have anything he wants, whenever he wants and gets endless attention) is something Patrick would, though be very jealous of, lead Patrick to suck up to Julius. Our boy Patrick would set his homophobia aside in a second if it meant being seen going into Doherty's Dress Shop without needing an appointment.

Julius would look down on Patrick. He would find him annoying and pathetic. However Julius loves attention and loves people sucking up to him (and loves cocaine-murder buddies) so he probably wouldn't kill Patrick as long as Patrick played his cards right and didn't challenge him. I see Julius using Patrick as a verbal punching bag and forcing him to smuggle drugs and traffic humans and other shit, and probably also just make him do degrading things like "I'll let you enter my store wherever you want if you suck my boot until you jizz in your pants hahahaha nasty bitch" just for shits and giggles. And Patrick probably would because oh that sweet sweet sweet status.

Julius also would make fun of Patrick for being 'short and fat'. Patrick is said to be 6'0 and 190lbs whereas Julius, who is anorexic, stands at 6'5 (in the human leather boots he always wears, he's 6'2 without them) and horrific mere 135lbs (please seek help if you struggle with eating, you deserve it/gen). I think they would both feed into each other's body issues and obsession with perfection.

It would be interesting to see them meet, I must admit that lol.

[mamuzzy]

Okay, my temporary-brainfuckery is over, I'm kind of hyped now about the new year and can look back at 2023 with much more contentment. So I jumped on the train of doing Art Summary too :))) (template HERE)

Yeah, what the fuck did I do in the first half of the year... honestly, I don't remember. No, really, I can't remember...

My sketchbook can be dated back to 2021 with some old Touken Ranbu and merfolk sketches, but I don't remember actually opening it this year until june...

...and guys, I actually have only a few pages left to fill!!!! I kind of proud of myself. Joining into TCW fandom really did wonders with my creativity and productivity.

I'll get sappy with this probably, but the existence of this blog, a filled up sketchbook in my hand is the very proof that I exist. When bdick fucks me in the brain, I can't remember having these wonderful memories of creating but when my mind clears from the fog, I come up here, looking at my little fortress, looking at my silly doodles, I don't feel that I have to build up everything from the start, and I actually managed to create a safe-place for myself that welcomes me back when I return from those dark places. My art maybe not visually pleasing, my anatomy is shit, but they are mine and most importantly THEY EXIST.

❀ My artistic plans for the future in this blog... ❀ ❀ To continue creating: daily doodles. Not sure about uploading it daily but maybe making compilations from my sketchbook from time-to-time. I'm expecting to have a more relaxed job time-wise, also I'm on a medication now due to my migraines, maybe I won't spend half of my year sleeping just escape from the pain. ❀ Creating character bios for my OC's. ❀ Participating in events/doing challenges: The whole concept is scary for me because deadlines are stressing me out, and I'm a slow artist.

❀ One of the self-made challenge: Redraw my sketchbook from 2012-2014. I probably mentioned that I've found it some time ago and actually chickened out from uploading them because most of the sketches in them are quite... hmm... bpd related without me knowing I had bpd back then (also i don't want them to hide under cut because then what's the point of uploading???). But it would be interesting to redesign them and make a comparison post about it.

❀ be more authentic with my art: my original plan with this blog was to use art to heal myself, and while drawing funny stuff is great, I still believe I'm self-censoring myself both in art and both in personal posts just like I'm masking in real life and it's. fucking. exhausting. My mental fuckery is a part of my life, part of me.

❀ Writing short stories: TCW, TBB, RepComm, million ideas in my head.

❀ Getting started on my Deadshot story: A multichaptered longfic starting from Umbara arc (I wrote ARC again), following the canon events but will deviate at some points.

❀ Getting started on my urban fantasy Coruscant Guard Story.

I could go on but I don't want to set unrealistic and unachievable goals either. YEAR JUST STARTED AND IT'S ALMOST OVER!!!

Thank you for hanging out with me in 2023, thank you for giving me a chance with those prompt-games and requests. I love you guys.

[bloodbagcutesy2112]

I have anxiety, and this is what my brain feels like at times. My mother informed me I had it a long time ago. I told her I feel like everyone secretly hates me, and I also get silly fears like if I'm upstairs, the floor will collapse under me. She basically said, "That's anxiety, honey. I have it too.". I was confused as to how she had it since she had always been a beacon of coolness, calmness, and collectiveness in my life, but she simply said that she's better at hiding it since she's more mature. I don't feel ashamed about having anxiety, but I'm pretty sure I'll receive a lot of comments about "You can't have anxiety, you're so social!", but just because I have social anxiety doesn't mean I can't enjoy interacting with people. I am not a one-dimensional being. My anxiety about interactions isn't the general idea, it's what remains unsaid. Sorry for the bad phrasing, but let me explain; I love interacting with people, but my fear is they don't have fun interacting with me, but they do either way. If I'm talking about something I love, and I stop for a second and then continue talking, and the person sighs and turns back to me, it really turns me off from talking about it. I just go do my own thing. But, I digress. The art at the top is a redraw (a modern retelling, you could say) of a collage I made when I was four or so, and it was called All The Silliness In My Head. This is a darker version in a way, using the word silliness to mean the shenanigans going on inside my brain because of intrusive thoughts and whatnot. The original, by the way, was white paper with squiggly shapes cut out in different colors of parchment paper and pasted into the paper. In this one, I used an anti-AI disturbance filter and put it on low opacity over a blurred mix of weird colors. I then wrote a bunch of random words and sentence fragments, like "Never really alone" or "buildings", "people", and stuff like that. Then, I drew a little white stick figure. Meant to represent me, I'm sure you could guess. The art itself is meant to represent how I feel sometimes. There are constantly things running through my mind. Quotes, books, songs, movies, people, comics, words, ideas, buildings, animals, plants, memories, stories, colors, sparkles, blood, everything is constantly on turbo/overdrive. My brain is always running at a million miles an hour, and the only time I really have peace is when I sleep. I take melatonin for that reason, as well. I used to hate sleeping, but I think that was before my brain ramped up, since I used to take naps all the time. Then I hated sleep, but now I love it again. I can't go to sleep in the daytime, though. On a lighter note, one thing that helps with my anxiety is spirituality. I keep crystals under my pillow to help with nightmares, and one of my aunts took me to a crystal shop for me birthday and bought me a ton of new ones. Also, I take comfort in the idea that we are all only temporary, and our soul is what matters. So hate the vessels we are given? Our bodies are only temporary, and we should love them.

[scarfacemarston]

GO VOTE

Tw mentions for: Racism, sexism, transphobia, homophobia, abortion discussion, anti-Semitism mention, anti-islamic mention, voting rights, miscarriage mention

Guys, please please please go out and vote. I was born in dictatorship that my country still hasn’t recovered from. I and millions of others lost so much in my country and my country is FAR from the only one. With that said USA:

Democracy is on the block for so many countries, but we have early voting and the Election Day. GO OUT AND VOTE. If Republicans get the majority in the House or Senate, our rights could be taken away. People say it won’t happen, well, people said the same about Roe vs Wade, but it did. 

You have no excuse. Voter apathy because things are bad? So you’re just going to sit there and do nothing while things get worse? The biggest voting demographic are boomers. Why the hell are people, especially young people, allowing THEM to make the decisions that will affect everyone with people under 50 being affected the most. Voter apathy is handing the election to the far right. 

Lgbtq+ people are in serious danger. People are banning lgbtq+ affirmative care, especially for transgender people. People are wanting to harm lgbtq+ people for EXISTING. Not even libraries are safe. LGBTQ+ marriage is at risk. 

Teachers are finding it increasingly difficult to be allowed to teach history, literature or politics because of the far right narratives they’re being forced to teach. LGBTQ+ kids are not safe in the class room.

People are dying from not being able to access emergency abortions and DNCs (a procedure that helps remove excess tissue build up that can sometimes be from abortion but often times not. Considering there is even a small chance of the dnc being used for abortion, it’s why republicans are attacking it.)

Btw, an ectopic pregnancy is impossible to survive without medical intervention. People are nearly dying or dying in hospitals because it’s too late - the hospitals have to consult their lawyers first. 

People aren’t being prescribed medications that have even the tiniest side effect of a miscarriage. These are drugs people need to LIVE. Drugs that treat lupus, cancer and reproductive disorders to name a few.

And for many others, Medicare, Medicaid and social security benefits are being attacked. Yes, that is something old republicans are going to suffer but for those saying everyone deserves it - what about the democrats that are that age? Why should they have to suffer? What about the tons of POC whose votes were ignored because of gerrymandering? And voting rights are under attack RIGHT NOW.

People of Color’s voting rights are in serious danger because of government officials redrawing boundary lines so their vote is skewed, or how they have less voting places and have to travel farther, or deal with a lot of voter intimidation in addition to what’s already out there.

Immigrants are still being treated as second class citizens with cruel stunts by republicans like flying them to other states to be used as political pawns and it’s getting worse.

Anti-Semitism and anti-Islamic sentiments are growing and are becoming increasingly dangerous with attacks on religious institutions and violence.

Gun violence “thanks” to republicans blocking everything from the state level to federal level. I’ve lost track of all the school shootings.

Our world is burning due to climate change being ignored and corporations. Again, don’t let republican boomers and older make these decisions for us.

Get. Out And.Vote. I understand there are some individuals that truly can’t vote due to circumstances including lack of access or even safety reasons, but if you have the chance to vote and you choose not to? Well, that’s in your right but you may not have the right to choose to go ahead and vote in the future. Do not get complacent if you see democrats winning at the polls. People thought the same thing in 2016 and 2020 was a VERY close call.

Brazil won their elections and got rid of a horrible man. It shows it CAN BE DONE.  Save  yourselves from the dictatorship I and so many others have gone through.  I BEG you to please vote. So many people are scared right now. I already voted. I know this is going to piss people off, but I’ll say it anyway: If you are someone able to vote, have access and you’re still not convinced or care enough to vote, then I find it really hard to respect you.

[clockworkslick]

oh. its 10/16. so short summary before i talk about nothing for a bit too long: a year ago i came up with the idea to actually go through with taking one of my silly ideas and turning it into something that other people could read, so i started drafting the concept of providence, a webcomic i make and thats updating everyday. more talking under the whatever.

so ive always made little stories that i would run through in my head for like two or three months when i had mental downtime, and then move on to some other goofy idea. this is either a totally normal thing or im a freak, honestly i have no frame of reference for how other people act. anyways i was home from college last year and i had this idea for an rpg fantasy story, initially an idea for playing modded minecraft with some friends (god i wish that was a joke), but i started writing shit down in a google doc. i wrote out a handful generic slots for various fantasy classes: witch, dryad, ranger, knight, vampire(not a class but i dont give a fuck), blacksmith, etc. and then i named some of them. i finished naming and writing out plot nonsense in november and changed the name of the comic from "Drive-By" to "Liberty" to "Providence."

honestly i think that was the easy part because its totally non-commital. unfortunately after that i had to actually start making the pages. the original plan was to finish act one before may, which was an optimistic goal to say the least, but also maybe if i didnt have to do anything else it would have been totally possible. or if i was just faster in general. anyways i started drawing everything at the end of december and then didnt stop for 6 months. actually thats a lie, i started drawing pages and havent stopped since then, but what i meant is that i started uploading the comic in may. i had a backlog of about 75 pages and the art change just in that time was nuts. comparing act 2 art to act 1 is more nuts but im not about to redraw the 170 pages of a1 just so that its APPEALING and PALLETEABLE. i learned way more about web design from doing this comic than from my actual web design class. like insanely more. you have no idea how little that class helped me with anything aside from making friends through mutual hatred of being poorly taught.

sixo de mayo (may 6th) came and i started doing this thing for real, and its been so surreal having people actually talk to me about these guys that have been in my head for months. my sister recently asked if deacon was my self-insert, which is sort of true but only in the sense that we both have social issues and like to be dumb on sort-of-purpose, and then she told me that her favorite character was reagan. theres not really any deep meaning behind her telling me or that reagan is my favorite too, but its just so surreal to me that people can have a favorite, or any opinion, on these characters i obsess over.

alright i think im done for now, i just wanted to talk about the comic on its sort of birthday, and also the day that the gang got pulled into the story. i mentioned that vaguely in the story once already, but im cool with being more direct about it. ill probably go on another rant again about this sometime, maybe on sixo de mayo, but probably sooner because im obsessive and like to type. happy birthday comic, heres to a million more. or however many years it takes to make a 5 act story at a rate of like 200 pages in 10 months. hopefully that number will go up.

[sweetchildcloud]

I'm the creator of the oc,idea,story but not the art infact down here i putted the link to the pecrew that i used👇👇

https://picrew.me/en/image_maker/1739697

U can redraw him but pls tag me

Caesar is the embodiment of time,space,universe

°He says that the scar that he has was caused by trying to pet a stegosaurus(.....)

Age:(900+),human age:(around 24,27?)

Voice:Kaeya(Genshin impact)

Powers:

°Can see Past,Present,Future of everyone

°Stops time

°Healing

°Travel in other universes(cartoon,anime,real life)

°Portals

°Telling lies but also so gullible

°Excited by everything

°Beam of sunshine but also the edgy friend

Weapons:(even if prefers to avoid the use)

°Gun

°Scythe

°Hands(yes with one flick of the fingers he can create a black portal or make blow up a person or broke bones or two)

Personality:

°He's very loyal to his job wich is keeping everything balanced even if sometimes loves to trick bad people

°Kind

°Loyal

°Cute but menacing at the same time

°Hes ambivert so he loves giving party but at the same time he regrets it

°Hate suicide more than anything

°Avoids violence when needed but sometimes thinks and act like wolfwood especially if his loved ones are in danger

°Thinks that everyone need redemption almost..

°He's the tipe of friend who gives good advice,buddy in crime,dum dum

°Cooky(loves to tease)

°Child like sometimes

°Doesn't get dirty jokes(he's the tipe that uses the eggplant emoji for groceries or sm)

°Old habits(doesn't have much games only a phone and TV prefers reading mangas,yes he has a house on earth)

°He gets very annoyed if someone criticizes him when they behave like a child for his age and he replies with: "There is only one life so you have to live it to the fullest and how you want (he is immortal but you know..)

Likes:

°Vash(he's one of is favourite characters for his sad story and way live,he's is number one 1°fan

°Wolfwood (loves his temperament)

°Tea parties

°Animals(finds cute the most terrifying or horror looking ones,he think that they ate misunderstood)

°Pranks

°Food(spicy one especially)

°Animes(Trigun top 1)

°Pastel colors

°Going shopping,especially food

Hate:

°sweets,prefer salt or like cheesecake tipe of food or flavours)

°Cars(nauseous and because the first time he ascended on earth he was runned over)

°Mortals having such a short time(feels bad for them,he cries sometimesin space but the tears gravitate so he's like surrounded by millions of different sizes shining liquid marbles)

Fears:

°Robots(read one time about a Robot apocalypse comic,couldn't sleep for weeks)

[ode-to-medusa]

Finally after redoing his arm literally 18 times, I'm finally happy with it. Now to just.... Do the other one ☹️.

I would show his hands but... Idk how tumbler is with tibbies.

[kamos-fic-corner]

A cup of coffee (Eren x Reader)

Summary : A simple cup of coffee can change your life, in many ways. (aka : Connie loves to be a wingman and we stan him in this house) 

Trope : College AU, blind date (or is it)

Wordcount : 4962 words

A/N : I have no idea how I managed to create this monstruosity of a fic when I have I don’t even know how much wips in my google drive. Also, English isn’t my first language. Have a nice read !

Also, thanks @smfics / @princess-jaeger for encouraging me to post this, I hope it was worth the wait !

The library was almost silent, except for some whispers and sounds of the occasional student wandering between the bookshelves in search of a specific book. It was, by far, much more  enjoyable than the usual  lunch rush - in truth, it was the perfect moment for you to do your own homework, even if a lot of other students wouldn’t have called that “homework” with, perhaps, a hint of disdain. At least you were silent, mostly, except for the sound of your pencil - that people would usually mistake for someone taking notes.

“Don’t move, Historia”, you reminded, lowering your gaze from her cute, doll-like face, to your sheet of paper, trying to make her features justice. From her delicately parted blonde hair, to her beautiful big blue eyes, to her mouth and chin, currently upturned in a smile - everything was perfect. But that perfection was frustrating. It felt like no matter how much you tried, no matter how much you erased and redrew your lines, it would never be good enough.

You didn’t like that. At this moment you felt like you were a good-for-nothing artist wannabe, tanking your sometimes fragile ego.  You already felt self-conscious whenever you went anywhere with her, even if you tried to push the thought away ; you too were pretty and smart, and you could pride yourself in being a good friend.And you were somewhat decent at art. Maybe. On a good day when stars aligned. Eventually.

Ymir sighed, as she fidgeted beside you. She had proclaimed wanting to see you drawing her girlfriend in real time, but she sounded more exasperated than anything. Everything was annoying, for her, and honestly you wondered if she even felt you were her friend.

“Stop redoing her nose.” The brunette sighed. “The more you’re redrawing it, the less accurate it’s going to become.”

You looked at her. She was surprisingly helpful. Did she feel only concerned because you were drawing her darling, or did she feel worried about you and your ego ?

“Seriously, take a break. You look like you’re about to burst.”

So much for your previous thinking, then. Perhaps she was right, you concluded. You needed, probably, to take a step back. It was also a problem you had with homework, even non-art related - you usually got so engaged in it that you ended up hyperfocusing on small details because you wanted it to be perfect, missing the whole perspective, and you always needed someone to snap you out of it and correct your mistakes.

So you put your notebook down for a second, and to your surprise you already had a nice outline of your friend’s face. Ymir was right - you felt like you had gotten Historia’s nose pretty well this time. Could you do better than that ? You weren’t sure. Did you want to erase it and do something worse ? Absolutely not. Of that you were sure.

Historia visibly relaxed. Posing for a portrait like this could be exhausting, actually. 

“Sorry for bothering you with this.” You said, feeling vaguely guilty. She could do another million things, and yet you were hogging her. “It’s not even a mandatory homework, just practice and...”

“Don’t worry.” She said, sweetly. “It makes me happy to help you.”

You felt like crying, relieved. Maybe the lack of sleep did make you emotional.

“And it’s just natural to help you, you’re always helping me study for my quizzes, so if I can help you back..” It was a habit you had since high school, actually. She always said you were a nice tester, telling things as they were and not sugarcoating it when she was wrong because you were friends. “It is fun to see you draw..”

“Oh, er..”

“Because you’re super expressive when you draw.” Ymir completed, cutting off the (un)intelligent response you were trying to make. “You’re like, frowning, not frowning, sticking out your tongue, and stuff. I find that pretty weird, personally.”

“..Excuse me?” You could only say, feeling suddenly self-conscious. Did you truly look that weird when you were drawing ? You probably looked absolutely ridiculous ! “Well, er, anyway. Let’s go back to drawing.” You felt like your break had been long enough, and you hated drawing portraits in multiple settings, because the energy and vibe weren’t the same.  Historia put herself into position, again. She had that beautiful, mysterious smile - a Mona Lisa smile, in a way. Not that you had the gall to compare yourself to Da vinci, of course.  You were pretty confident, except concerning your art, feeling very much like a baby walking in the footsteps of artists better and bigger than you would ever be.

You followed Ymir’s advice, though, trying this time to get Historia’s mouth and smile right, and finally leaving her nose alone. Maybe you were a perfectionist, after all. But you felt like this perfectionism was your way of justifying your existence as an art student. And that was why people said you were intense about your art, never stopping until you were satisfied. But strangely, capturing Historia’s smile was easy. Perhaps you were getting better, or your brain was relieved to not have anything to do with her nose.

Her hair now, delicately framing her face. You had always liked drawing hair, somehow.

“Shit !” You exclaimed as your criterium lead broke. Of course, you thought angrily to yourself as you changed it swiftly. It just had to happen. This shit always let you down in the most important moments. At least this time it hadn’t pierced your paper sheet ; it had happened once during a class, and you had been mortified for days.

The universe was against you today, you decided. You didn’t want to know how much bad luck you had in store for the rest of the day, and you didn't even want to imagine it. Enough was enough. You needed a nice, simple day, and a  cup of tea on your couch, wrapped up in a plaid. Nothing less, nothing more. Was it too much ?

Eventually though, you managed to finish Historia’s portrait, and even if the blonde seemed elated and drowned you in compliments, you felt the usual tendrils of self-doubts gnawing at you. You could have done better here, there too - here, the line was too rough.

“Gotta go, I’ve got a class in twenty minutes and I’d like to have a drink.” You announced after a brief discussion about some fair outside of town that Historia wanted to see. You were feeling exhausted - and mostly, you hated having a free hour like that in the middle of the morning. It wasn’t worth going anywhere but the library or, eventually, the cafeteria..hoping that neither of the two buildings were too crowded. At least during this free hour, you always were able to meet with your two friends. You gathered up your belongings, carefully detaching the sheet of paper and putting it in your big portfolio, and went your way after saying goodbye.

However fate had its own plans for you, apparently.

You were walking at a peaceful pace, a cup of chocolate in one hand, your portfolio safely tucked under your arm.  The roads of the campus were beginning to get crowded by what seemed like tons of students going to their classes, some beginning to get rowdy. Nothing unusual, by the way.

What was unusual however, was the chain reaction that ensued. As you were beginning to get close to the Arts building, someone passed through you in a hurry, bumping into your shoulder and making you lose your balance and trip, and, of course as you struggled to get a semblance of dignity (and spat a “watch out where you’re walking, asshat !” that fell on deaf ears), your portfolio literally made a cup of coffee fly, crash on the ground and spill its content on the concrete.

You felt blood retreating from your face.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry !” You exclaimed to the owner of the late cup of coffee, absolutely mortified. You didn’t know how to react - or rather, a million ideas were running through your mind, and you were almost freezing in response.  Sorry wasn’t the beginning of how you wanted to handle this whole thing. “Someone bumped into me and...” You began to explain, desperate, somehow, to make him understand that you hadn’t wanted to be malicious. It was just a string of bad luck.

“I figured it out.” The guy said, after picking up his empty cup - you felt oddly relieved that he wouldn’t leave it on the ground, even if there wasn’t much he could do about the spilled coffee.  And when he straightened himself, you took advantage of the moment to take a good look at him. He was tall, at least six feet - and  he had one of the prettiest faces you had ever seen. A long yet a little rounded face, with a sharp jaw and a plump bottom lip. Green, expressive eyes, under thick eyebrows. And, finally, loose brown hair that fell around his broad shoulders.  I kinda want to draw him..you thought, and that was what you would have wanted to say, if you didn’t feel like your brain had stopped. “It’s okay.”

“No it’s not - did you get burned or..?” You asked.

“Nah, don’t worry. Everything’s fine. ”However, he frowned. “Are you hurt ?”

“N-no, I’m okay, more scared than hurt. Maybe I’ll get a bruise, but overall - I’m fine.”

Shooked by you, but fine, you thought.

“Good.” And with that, he turned around.

“Wait !” He stopped his motion, confusion written all over his (rather handsome,you had to admit) face. You began to search your pockets after putting your portfolio on the ground, at a good distance from the stream of what had been coffee. “Take this.” You said, handing him some pocket change. “Huh?” He said.

“For your lost coffee. It’s my fault it ended up on the ground, so paying you back for another is the least I can do.”

“It’s not your fault, you don’t have to -” He protested.

“Yes I do. I should be more careful when I’m carrying my stuff” You interrupted. “I would feel terrible for the rest of the day if I didn’t give you money, otherwise.”

He smiled, gently, and that completely changed his face, softening his features. You felt yourself blushing a little, something tugging in your heart. This guy was gorgeous, you thought. He looked like he could be a model in a fashion magazine. A piece of art.

“Alright then.” He conceded. “That’s very kind of you.”

No, that was called ethics, you wanted to correct but for some reason you felt like you were unable to speak, as if your tongue had been numbed or stuck to the top of your palate. You felt simultaneous dumb and somehow hopeful this guy would find you pretty. You were confused.

“My name’s Eren.” He introduced himself. Pretty name. 

Ah, when you thought about it,  it felt like you had seen him on campus before (it could be a small world after all), but never this close.  You would have remembered it otherwise !

“(Y/n), you managed to reply, feeling like an absolute dumbass. “I’m an Art major..”

“That explains the portfolio.” He noted with a nervous smile, and you nodded. 

“Sorry again about that..” You probably had ruined his day with that little stunt, now that you thought about it. At least he hadn’t spilled some coffee on his shoes. That would have been terrible.

Then, he looked at his watch and had a reaction of surprise.

“Oh shit I’m gonna be late - see you around !”

“See you around.” You repeated in a low voice, almost dreamy- not realising that you were gonna be late too, until someone else snapped you out of your trance by bumping you. And by then, you were pissed at yourself.

   That guy would have made a gorgeous model, and you had missed the opportunity to ask him if he’d roll with it. You could draw him from memory, you supposed, but it wasn’t the same.  Oh, to take a picture of him. That would have been nice, too. But you had been too shaken to be able to speak. That wasn’t very usual. It wasn’t your type to have an artistic (or that was what you tried to tell yourself) crush on anyone. Even Mr Smith, the history teacher - perhaps he was too much like a statue, larger than life and twice as impressive. But Eren..he was what, around your age ? He was someone accessible.

Though, when you talked about him to the two girls later, Ymir teased you by reminding you of your latest what-would-should-have-been-a-hook-up-but no (and adding that the guy seemed a lot more decent than Handspinner Hair Guy), whereas Historia was super supportive. And gleeful that you had sent her her portrait after finishing it with your black pen and scanning it. You , however, groaned. Your  two friends sure seemed invested in your love life, and you knew that you weren’t gonna to see the end of it so soon. Not until you managed to see the guy again. Perhaps next week on the same day ? Who knew. Except that you tried to be around the same building around the same hour, but to no avail. Same for the week after, and you finally admitted to yourself that Eren was a one-time apparition, a nice little break from what you were used to seeing on campus.

Worse, you had no idea what his major could be. You had told him yours, but he hadn’t told you his - even if he was nice, he looked overall a little reserved and aloof, almost on the defensive. It was his right, of course, but you felt a bit bummed, and your other friends picked up on that. Especially on that day when with Sasha, Connie and Jean (with whom, as you liked to say, you shared one brain cell) you were on a movie night at your studio.

“C’mon, (Y/n), what’s going on now ? “Jean asked. You could feel the worry in his voice.

“-Nothing,” you replied in a sharp voice. Maybe you shouldn’t have chosen to watch the dumbest romcom. It made you wistful, melancholic and full of regret that life wasn’t as easy.

“-Stop lying, what’s wrong ?” 

You sighed. You knew that even if you didn’t know the trio for a very long time, having met around spring of the previous year, they cared about you and would nag you until you caved in. So at least, you could save yourself the hassle of being interrogated.

“-Don’t laugh okay ? Something like two weeks ago, I met a super cute guy, alright. Except that I didn’t have time to get his number, it was just before my 11am class.”

“-Ok wow, what happened exactly ?”

“-Spill the tea, Y/n ! “Sasha encouraged. 

“-I kinda sent his coffee cup flying with my portfolio because some idiot didn’t look where he was going and bumped into me.” You groaned, head between your hands. “So I gave him some change to buy another cup later.”

“-What did he look like ?”

“- Rather tall, brown hair, green eyes,”you recalled. “Looked like he could have been a great model.  His name was Eren.”

You missed Connie, Jean and Sasha exchanging glances, and they motioned to exchange dms very quickly.

“ I kinda tried to see him again around the building, around the same hour on the same day of the week, but it didn’t work out. Guess it was nice meeting this guy, but I probably won’t see him again.” You sighed. “It’s a shame, it’s all.”

You didn’t even know why you got attached like that, to be honest. Eren was cute and he was nice, and he looked like he would make a wonderful model to draw, but...Guess you were a bit lonely, after all. That wasn’t healthy.

“Well, that’s too bad,”Connie said, shrugging. “The campus’s too big, I guess. But you know what ? You should try to see other people.  You spend too much time with your brushes..”

“-Yup, it’s worrying to see you like that.”Sasha doubled.

“-Yeah, I know. I guess it’s the little “what could have been”, but…”You shrugged. “Other fishes in the sea, I guess.” “-Actually, I’ve got this friend..He’s not good at meeting people as he’s a little shy, but since you’re more extraverted, I think you could be a good match.”

“-Ok wow Connie, is this a real friend or the “cousin of the friend of the grandfather of the friend of one of your acquaintances ?”’ Historia had tried that in high school, and the guy was super self-centred and probably a pervert, given how he looked at your boobs. Historia had been mortified, when you told her.

“-Noooo no don’t worry !”He gestured. “ He’s actually a high school friend of mine. He’s really caring and loyal, but awkward. I feel like you could really get along.

“-If this is who I think it is,”Jean said, “ I can vouch for him too.”

“-It’s not you at least, Jean ?” You snorted.

“-Ouch, that hurts.”

“-Man, I don’t cheat.”He protested.

“-I know, just kidding.”You laughed. Jean and you had always the most platonic relationship, but it was too fun to tease him gently like that. “Well, if this guy’s so great, I’m fine for one date. Not for dinner though, people always get ideas.”

It had happened once last year, actually. The guy you had seen seemed to understand that one dinner date meant he could pull the “oh no it’s late, can I sleep in your room”. Needless to say, you had told him hell no, and cut contact after. You had sworn off dating apps after that.

I hope this blind date is a good idea, you thought nervously for the nth time. Connie was by your side, almost dragging you. He sure was impatient for you to meet this  friend of his. At least he had told you it was a guy, but given the number of guys he had as mutuals on his social media (not that that you had checked in details, being busy this week with homework), that didn’t help you in the slightest. 

You just hoped that the guy would be as great as he was telling you, and that if you  weren’t interested, that wouldn’t sour the relationship between him and his friend. You didn’t think the mystery guy would be a total incel from what you were told but..you know. Some people thought that they were the centre of the universe.

“I’m kinda on the fence with this date thingy - last time I went on a blind date like that, it didn’t end well -” You tried to say. You had still your doubts, somehow. You weren’t used to that, clearly. “Connie, not so fucking fast, I’m wearing a dress for fucks’s sake.”

And Historia had helped you getting a little dolled up, while still respecting your  personality and style. You felt actually pretty.

“What happened?” He asked, vaguely nervous all of a sudden.

“Super self-centred.” You shot back. “ He was always “me me me, listen how great I am” and didn’t even try to get to know me. Though he kinda implied he wanted to screw me.”

“Ew.”He had the decency to reply, before smiling. “Don’t worry, my friend’s not like that. He doesn’t do the one-night-stand thingy.  True romantic at heart, I tell you.”

You cocked your eyebrow.

“But I was gonna introduce you to each other eventually, you’re both my friends !”

Well, you guessed it was a positive thing that he thought that the mystery guy and you could work as friends, even without the blind date deal. 

“Anyway, here we aaare !” He said after a while.

He had chosen a nice Italian restaurant that you had been to once, last year. But there already was a guy standing in front of the restaurant door, looking at his phone. Rather tall, it seemed.

“Here he is ! Hey man !” Connie exclaimed as you quickened your pace. “Over there !”

The guy turned in your direction, and you almost froze again.

“Eren?” You weren’t sure, he had tied up his hair in a half-bun. But well, that allowed you to have a better look at his face,and you  felt yourself blushing.

“G-glad to see you again, (Y/n.)” He managed to say, clearly a little distraught too.

“Connie, what’s the meaning of this ?” You managed to say. Connie was absolutely beaming -while Eren looked like he wanted to be anywhere but here, averting his eyes.

“C’mon don’t be shy Eren ! You told us all about the cute artist girl you met , and you told us about the tall cute guy with brown hair you had met. It was easy to know you spoke of each other ! So Sasha, Jean and I thought it’d be more fun to set you up together for a blind date, you know, for a bigger surprise and...here we are !”

You looked at him. You didn’t know if you had to laugh or to cry.  

“You, hum, thought I was cute ?” You asked Eren, wanting to change the subject. 

“And nice.” He replied, barely audible, still looking away. 

“So, so ! Eren, I trust you with Y/n, she’s a close friend of Sash’ and me, so take good care of her alright ?”

“Connie !” Eren protested. And, looking at me, he finally whispered. “You look very pretty, (Y/n)”

You were wearing your favourite dress, the one that made you feel confident and cute as hell, plus you had styled your hair a little, and had put on some light make-up. Looks like he appreciated the effort, you thought, giddy.

“Thank you...” He looked good too, you had to admit. 

“Alright guys, have a nice lunch ! Gonna quizz you for details later !” And with that, Connie was gone.

“I’m glad I saw you again.” You admitted, a little shy. “You’ve kinda been on my mind since the other day. I was angry at myself for not asking for your number. You seemed kinda interesting., and, er, when I saw you I thought you’d be a great model !”

“So was I.” He said, gently, pink tinting his cheeks once more. “I- I wanted to know you better. But I was a little intimidated. I was nervous, somehow.”

Well, that, uh, put things into perspective.

“Guess we’ll have to thank Connie for putting us in contact then, eh?” you said. Or strangling him, you still didn’t know. The worst thing was, you were pretty sure you had heard Connie mention his name, now that you thought about it. How did you not make the connection when you met him ?

You had been distracted.

“Yes..”

“World’s small,  isn’t it  ?”

He smiled at you. “Let’s go inside, alright ? Don’t want you to catch a cold.”

“Y-yes.” Your turn to be so nervous now, touched by his pure kindness as you followed him into the restaurant. But still - you managed to catch Eren’s gaze once you were seated and handed menus by your waitress, and smiled. He smiled in return.

This blind date was sure turning better than you thought, and - finally having made up your mind-, you’d be sure to remember to thank Connie for the lovely attention.

“So, hum..” He began. You could feel his nervosity from your chair - he was fidgeting. “Have you been doing art for a long time ?”

“I was one of these kiddos who spent all their free time drawing.” You almost laughed, so happy that he took  initiative and wanted to get to know you. “In class too, when I was bored.” 

Eren smiled.  

“And growing up, I just got interested  in other forms of art. Clay, painting, photography…That kinda was how I met Connie actually.” Encouraged by his quiet attention and nodding, you kept on talking. “Last year during spring, I wanted to take pictures of the big park downtown, and I kept on bumping into Connie, so we ended up talking a lot, and we became good friends. I already knew Sasha from one meeting at the cafeteria, and they introduced me to Jean once at uni. And you ?”

“Pretty sure he had mentioned it to us once.” He frowned. “But,er, we all met at the beginning of high school, since we were in the same class. You know how it is. I sat next to him, and he initiated a conversation, so... “ It was a simple but very cute meeting,  you decided. Connie was one of these people that could get along with mostly anyone, because he was so honest and open.

 Feeling like a complete idiot because of the stupidness of what you were going to say, you asked him about his field of study, since you didn’t get to ask him last time. Architecture, he responded, and you listened to him speaking of his passion, hanging on his words. He liked the idea of being able to create homes for people. That was interesting, and honestly a bit endearing - he really cared about people, apparently.  At one point, though, your eyes met after he finished speaking, and you realised you kinda wanted to kiss him, and leaned in. However,you were shaken off your trance by the sound of a close chair rattling on the ground.

“Anyway,” you said, feeling a little...disappointed. At what or whom, you didn’t know.  “Let’s take a look at these menus.”

  The lunch was more than satisfying, even if, to be honest, you barely paid attention to your meal. Eren was much, much more interesting than whatever you had on your plate. You liked his quiet resolve,  the passionate way he talked, the way his face and eyes  were lighting up when he spoke about something he liked.

   Bad news for you : you were smitten. And little did you know that Eren was growing fond of you too. Because from architecture, you ended up speaking about a famous museum in town that you had both visited, and that you both liked. Encouraged by him, you talked about a few paintings inside that you particularly liked, and their respective artists. He was such a good audience, you thought as you blabbered, feeling your cheeks get warm each time you looked at those eyes. But on his side, he was finding you increasingly cute. Especially that you could relate to never being satisfied with your drawings. That was the true icebreaker, and you had a good laugh together while speaking how you could get frustrated with the one detail that you felt was so vital.

 “Thank you for the date, Eren.” You said at the end of the meal, feeling on cloud nine. “I had a really good time with you.”

“So had I.” Eren said, softly. You smiled at each other, and you realised you kinda didn’t want the date to end. You wanted to spend more time with him.  “Hum, (Y/n), d-do you want to go somewhere else perhaps ?”

You felt your heart burst, and you said “Yes ! Of course !” with perhaps a little too much enthusiasm. But you didn’t care. You were spontaneous, you liked to go with the flow. So when Eren proposed to go to the park, you gladly accepted. But honestly you didn’t care where you were going, simply content to be with him, talking with him. As you strolled the park’s alleys, you learned about his passion for sports and video games, and you told him about your own hobbies. You joked about your classes, spoke about your friends - and at one point, in a spur of boldness, you took his hand that seemed so large compared to yours, and he gladly took yours. He radiated such warmth, you never wanted to let his hand go, feeling oddly safe with him. 

“I had a wonderful time with you, Eren.” You finally said when you were in front of your building, cheeks pink and eyes shining. It was, truly, the best first date you ever had. Eren was caring, respectful, super interesting, you liked to talk to him - what else could you ask for ? “I’d really like to see you again.”

“So do I.” He murmured. “Let’s exchange numbers.”

And you did, elated. You promised yourself to text him as soon as possible. You didn’t want to miss any opportunity with that guy, because you felt like you had the potential to create something great together.

 “Can you text me when you’re home ?” You asked. “ I’d really like to know that you’re safe.”

“I will.” And when you looked him right in the eyes, you felt again that urge to kiss him . You tilted your head, lips parted, hoping that he’d get the message.

“I hope I’m not coming too strong,” Eren said, eyes on you, his breath a little ragged, “But I’d really like to kiss you right now. If that’s okay with you.”

“Then go for it.” You replied. He smiled, his face lighting again, and he softly leaned into you, his soft hands cupping your cheeks. Forehead against forehead, you smiled.

Finally, finally ! His lips went meeting yours. Eren kissed you in a slow, shy way, almost like he was afraid you would pull out at any moment. Except that you had no intention to, and you showed him clearly, wrapping your arms around his neck and losing your fingers into his thick, yet soft hair. You wanted him closer. And thus he moved his arm around your waist, pulling you toward him, with an appreciative groan. It felt like time had stopped - that nothing else existed except the two of you, and the feeling of his mouth against yours.

When you finally parted, you were panting, but so happy, smiling at each other. You felt like the happiest person in the world. You wanted to shout, you wanted to sing, you wanted the whole universe to know that for once, you were happy. For once, you felt like someone was interested in you - for you. And when you looked at Eren, you went for another kiss, giggling, eyes closed and just relishing this moment together.

All thanks to a spilled cup of coffee.

[introdemodev]

demo update demo update

or, update about the demo.

about the game

total length of the demo is about an hour, maybe an hour and a half if you read and play through everything. 2 hours if you read as slow as possible. it was supposed to be 4 hours but then I thought....."hey. the player won't be able to transfer their save to the full game". that means diya and darcys mini game won't be in the demo anymore. awwwww. you'll still get to play clyde’s minigames though (he has two in the demo).

ive mentioned this before, but there are two endings for this game but there’s many many many ways to get there. aside from choices, theres three paths you can take: you can take the darcy path, diya path, or the ??? path. the third one is not in the demo but will be in the final game.

(ok breaking my no more sharing screenshot rule but after today there will be no more unless I've shared them before lol)

so....if there is a diya and darcy minigame, does that mean there’s a ??? minigame too? yes, and it’s very cute.

art

the art and animation is done!!! for real this time, it's done. woooo!!!! thats...if you don't count sprites. hehe. :^) there are three sprites i want to edit and be done with for good: wren, diya and darcy. I finalized wren’s design a while ago so their old design is still in the game. as for diya and darcy, i just want to make small lil changes. so nothing to redraw, except for wren’s head.

look at them. that’s not wren. where are their horns?????? why is their hair brown??? no.

there's also some other things I want to do too, like change the layout for clydes pop quiz minigame. but thats only if I have time because 1) it’s extra art to make. 2) it’s not that necessary. I really want this demo out before June, or, preferably, before the end of April, and then have the full game release in fall/winter. if God wills it.

not to spoil anything (im spoiling something) but clyde gives you another pop quiz later in the full game, so it’s something i want to add eventually.

writing

after working on this game for a very long time now, ill say that writing took the most amount of my time, and also learning how to write script. the latter has gotten a lot easier esp because renpy is easy to learn and there’s a ton of guides online for it too. 

im proofreading the script a thousand times + making sure i didnt leave any plot holes. like, i’ll think i corrected all grammar errors then i’ll find something like this ten mins ago.

oh and ig this shouldve went under the game section but im writing this as i go. anyways. i also gotta play the game a million times to make sure everything works and is functional. so far, so good, i havent run into any bugs. but, i also havent played through EVERY possible choice yet.

sound and other stuff

okay. so. my original plan was to have id’s soundtrack composed of music in the public domain or free to use. for the demo, i’m still debating on doing this, or, just having the game be silent aside from ambience and sound effects. for the full game, i do plan on commissioning an original soundtrack when i’m nearing completion.

and uhhhhhhhhhh what else what else....idk, i had more to say here but i dont remember lol. i just been playing around with more renpy tutorials, especially for imagemaps and functions and stuff like that.

aaaaand that’s about it! this is just stuff off the top of my head. if i remember anything else ill bring it up later. i wanted to talk more about the actual story and characters but then i risk spoiling everything. there’s only so much you can say about a visual game ya know.

and again, thanks for being patient!! im really excited to get this game out. :D

[leahazel]

🌍🏆💡 for the reader asks!

For this meme.

🌍 What is your dream AU?

I feel like people who follow me on Tumblr must know this already, but I would be delighted if for every Omegaverse fic there was another AU that just went absolutely ham on misinterpreting and sexualizing non-wolf animal behavior. It doesn't even have to be a queen bee AU. Just a million fics that are nothing but thinly veiled excuses to blather about weird animal reproduction facts.

🏆 What do you wish more authors in your fandom would write about?

Right now I'm only actively writing in two fandoms, 7KPP and Skyrim. Skyrim fandom has literally thousands of fics and has reached an "everything has been done" stage where people either write the same things over or get really weird with it. I like the weird stage because unpredictable things happen. I wish for every writer to feel comfortable getting as weird as their little hearts desire.

On a more mundane note, sometimes I feel like the way people write about the civil war is strongly influenced by the obnoxious debates about it in the fandom. I always like it when people write about the factions from a perspective that doesn't seek to defend or justify them. "Make your faces look bad", basically.

For 7KPP, it's a tiny fandom, so I'm ecstatic every time I see a fic that revolves around the NPCs and not the MC.

💡 Tell me a headcanon (and who you wish would write it)?

I had to think about this hard because I tend to get so involved in my (major) headcanons that I forget they're not properly canon. Like, when I integrate my perception of out-of-universe factors, I legit forget that it hasn't been confirmed anywhere that the Empire is about to fall apart. It's just that all the clues point to it, and it's thematically consistent, and it has such high potential for storytelling chaos, and setting ESO during the interregnum almost feels like foreshadowing, and...

Anyway, I'd love to see some of the fandom writers who gravitate towards "big picture" stories take on a radical redrawing of Tamriel's political map. Provinces getting broken down and new borders forming. New political powers rising to fill the power vacuum. Independence of the Reach. A new Empire, not centered on Cyrodiil. Argonian ascendancy. A new world order, reshuffled completely from previous expectations.

Print out a B&W map of Tamriel, break out your crayons, and go absolutely hog wild.