#and people love to ignore this like 'oh he loves how much of an abrasive dick jc is!' actually he doesn't?

[llycaons]

it's very sweet when wwx is like 'aw jin ling is just like his uncle' in postcanon fics but I have to laugh because in canon he's literally like 'ugh, jin ling is JUST like his uncle 🙄'

[cosmiiwrites]

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ enemies to lovers

.ೃ࿐ adam x fem!reader .ೃ࿐

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ summary: in which you and adam find out you don't hate each other as much as you think you do cw: NSFW, fem!reader, p in v, oral (f!recieving), creampie, adam (he's his own warning), hair pulling, semi-public sex, cussing a/n: FINALLY DONE !! first smut fic though, so apologies if some things dont make sense :(

you hated adam. you hated his cocky attitude and his fuckboy persona. and most of all, you hated how everyone stayed quiet about it. him being the first man didn't mean jack shit to you. if he was being an egotistical asshole? you won't hesitate to put him in his place. even if that meant starting an argument in front of the promenade, putting your hatred for one another on display.

adam, on the other hand, loved someone who could match his abrasive attitude. and it meant more that you went out of your way to shout insults at him every chance you got. to be honest? it turned him on. but he would rather die then admit that. during meetings, you two would bicker non-stop, shooting daggers at each other from across the table. so yes, everyone and their mothers knew about you and adam's ongoing feud. what did everyone also know? the unspoken sexual tension between you two. the tension so thick it was tangible. the tension everyone knew about except the two idiots who claimed they hated each other. even lute was getting sick of it. "what a bitch, am i right?" "yes, sir." "she's just salty because i'd never go for a cunt like her," "mhm, sir." "maybe i sho-" "you know what i just remembered? sera saying she had something to discuss with me. ill be leaving now, sir." adam shot her a confused look. it wasnt like lute to walk out on a conversation so abruptly. (spoiler alert, she just didnt want to hear adam talk about you for the millionth time today) "well, uh, shit, okay." upon leaving, adam bumped into a familiar face. "well, well, well, if it isn't-" you slid right past him, ignoring any advance he'd tried making towards you. "what the fuck?" adam's face grew warm from embarrassment. did you just ignore him? he planted himself in front of you, hoping to make a statement. his tall figure hovered over yours. "ignoring me, hm? is that any way to treat the first man?" he teased. you sighed and rubbed your forehead in annoyance before answering, "if by 'first man' you mean 'overly-confident egomaniac' then yes." that's what adam liked about you; you didnt kiss his ass 24/7 like all the other angels. you didnt crave his approval. "i seriously don't understand how people can tolerate being around you," you groaned.

"oh fuck off, the ladies love me," he grinned. "especially in be-" you threw your hand to cover his mouth. "ugh, spare me the details, you gross fuck." your statement only widened his shit-eating grin. "why, jealous?" he teased, dragging on the s. "fuck, no! i feel bad for all the women you've slept with, they've probably faked all their orgasms as to not hurt your fragile ego." you retorted. adam's smirk dropped. he couldn’t BELIEVE you thought he was incapable of pleasuring a woman. luckily for you, his anger quickly turned to interest as an idea popped up in adam's head. he leaned into your ear, voice low and husky, "you wanna bet on that?"

taken aback from his sudden offer , you backed up until your back hit the wall of the alley you two were in. “what,” you breathed, “are you on about?”

“if i can make you cum,” adam started, “you have to admit that one; im the dick-fuckin’-master, and two; i AM capable of pleasuring a woman. deal?” adam's said a ton of dumb shit, but this? you let out a boisterous laugh. “are you serious?” but after a few beats of unearthly silence, thats when you knew he was. “well, shit.” you did want a chance at proving him wrong and taking down his ego. to be fair, no one’s made you cum in a long, long time. and you were always up for a challenge.

you grabbed adam by the collar and dragged him down to your level.

“deal.”

———————————————————————

thats how you found yourself up against a wall, being eaten out by the first man, the first soul in heaven, and your well-known rival.

you didnt want to admit it, but god, this man was good with his tongue. not to mention his hands.

he gripped your thighs tightly, spreading them apart and smirking up at you. your flustered face drove him mad, only fueling his desire for you. its not his fault you looked so fuckin’ cute. maybe he should get you like this more often…

adam shamelessly licked up and down your entrance, earning small involuntary whimpers from you. he dragged his hand down your thigh to rub circles on your clit, making you twitch under his touch. “taste so fuckin’ good,” he growled. wanting more, you tugged at his hair, forcing his tongue to prod at your cunt. “impatient, are we? and to think you hated me.”

it was like he was waiting for this exact moment; for adam ate like a man starved. like he hadn’t eaten in days, and you were the only thing that could nourish him.

suddenly, he dragged his long tongue against your clit, “shit, adam!” he smirked against your cunt. “enjoying y’self, babe?” “f-fuck—haah—you!” was all you can manage, before he sunk his tongue deeper into you, fingers now circling your clit twice as fast. “dont worry, tits, you’ll be doing that in a bit.”

it wasnt long before you had cum all over his tongue and face, panting like a maniac. you had already lost the bet, but you didnt care. nor had any of you two mentioned it. lost in a drunken haze, all you wanted was his cock buried inside of you.

you quickly recovered from your high and grinded against his painfully hard erection. “s-shit, babe, didn’t take you for a desperate whore,” adams words were slurred, his need for you fogging his brain. “s-shut up,” you retorted “looks like you can still talk back,” he grinned. “i’ll fuck that bratty attitude out of you.” “youve yet to do so,” you teased. “you bluffing, dickmaster?” oh, now you’ve got him in a chokehold.

those would be your famous last words, before adam would recklessly pound into you.

adam quickly undid his boxers, revealing his hard cock, precum already spilling from his tip. you thought he was joking when he called himself the ‘dickmaster.’ you silently wondered how that would fit inside of you. “see how fuckin’ worked up you get me, tits?” adam babbled.

he bent you over, your wrists just above your head.

you were about to reply with a snarky comeback when he pushed his cock into you, no warning beforehand.

“i fuckin’ knew it,” he said. “tight as shit. bet no one’s fucked you as good as im about to, huh?” you wanted to respond, to deny his accusations, but the only sounds that left your mouth were desperate moans and whimpers. it was like music to his ears, fueling him to fuck you brainless.

his large size stung, but pain quickly turned to pleasure when he began to move.

he picked up his pace, pounding into you brutally. it was oh, so sinful. but adam would go to hell anyday if that meant he could have your tight little cunt all to himself.

adam took a fistful of your hair, forcing your back to arch. when you didnt protest, adam threw a line of praise at you. “there we go, good fuckin’ girl, just like that…” the position you were in was a bit uncomfortable, but you quickly stopped paying attention to that when adam thrusted into you sharply. “s-so good f’me,” he babbled.

you knew he was almost at his peak when his thrusts grew sloppy. “shit, almost there, fuck!” he groaned. “m-me too, adam, fuck,”

in one deep thrust, he buried himself inside of you, spilling his cum. you felt your stomach grow warm, full of adam’s seed.

adam was still inside of you, even after you both had came. there were no sounds other than your pants and his huffs. thank god this was an empty street.

finally, he pulled out of you. you whined at the loss of contact, earning you a cheeky grin.

“so,” he said, breaking the silence. “how was that for pleasuring a woman, hmmm?” adam smirked. “still hate me?”

“always, just a little less now.”

[alicerosejensen]

OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH

I JUST HAD A CUTE LITTLE SCENARIO IDEA. It is about vendetta! leon and young(20’s) reader series! What about reader sitting on the bathrooms counter/vanity while helping Leon shave? His hands are resting on readers tighs or around her waist as he watches her focused eyes. I THINK THAT WOULD BE ADORABLE PLS.

And i don’t think this counts as an ask, but if you’ll want to do something with this im not complainig hahah 👁👁

Warning: Fluff, mention of injuries, age difference (implied but not mentioned), Leon!Vendetta, Leon gets taken care of (this man needs a little love and devotion); talking about nothing.

I'm sorry, I'm too lazy. I write slowly and because of some eternally tired condition

Coming back to you after so many weeks of silence was wrong, or at least unfair. To tell the truth, Leon did not feel that he should have done it at all, the doctor recommended bed rest, but it was all the same. It was not the first time he had been thrown like a rag doll, although this time he felt like he was on the edge, dangerously balancing between life and death, when Aris's claws almost pierced his flesh. At least Leon thought he was going to die thinking about you- the only good thing in his life in recent years.

He wasn't even sure if you would let him in, but when he broke out of the dark tunnel, the whole flight he thought only about how nice it was to return to the person who, for some reason, cared about him. You weren't his wife, you weren't his work partner, you were just a girl. The girl he was afraid to fall in love with because he always thought that this love would hurt you. Although it seems that only one was injured, and it was Leon himself, who came up with stupid rules for himself to protect you.

And here he is, you look at him without any malice, although it would be worth it. Leon really doesn't think he has the right to show up like this without an invitation, but he does, looking into your eyes with a guilty look, hoping that you won't drive him away and let him lick his wounds while he lets you love him tenderly.

"Come in," you nod head, letting him into your tiny apartment, in which Leon felt better than at home.

Although it looked more like a lone wolf's lair. It was much more comfortable and even somehow warmer with you.

Taking a step, Leon feels not like a government dog, but an ordinary person who is taken by the hand and let into a small corner of paradise. Maybe it will last a day, two or a week, but he will be a little happy and loved.

"Should I heat up your dinner?" You ask casually, as if he wasn't ignoring you and running away to drown his problems in alcohol. "Leon?"

"No, I'm not hungry."

"Coffee?" Again you offer him, but he just shakes his head negatively as he sits down on the chair in front of you.

"No"

Maybe you think he came here to end all the little things that were between you, but no. He just needs you as a salvation, otherwise his head will drown in regret.

All Leon wants is for his fight not to be in vain, but every time someone else takes the place of the bad guy, and corporations continue to create viruses that turn people into bioweapons. He runs his hand over his face, feeling the annoying stubble under his palm that should have been shaved off, but having drowned in alcohol, he didn’t want to do anything.

“I just,” he looks at you with a hazy look but completely sober, “Can I stay here? With you?”

Who are you to refuse him? But be honest with yourself, you want him to stay here, especially since his beaten appearance really said that he was better off not being alone. Under the T-shirt, bruises and abrasions on the face and arms and what appears to be a dislocated shoulder are visible. In any case, wanted to believe that Leon didn’t break any bones.

"You know that my answer is yes"

Leon doesn't smile. Just eternally grateful that he won't have to sit in his dark, lonely apartment lying on his bed again after taking a strong painkiller.

He sleeps well with you, he doesn't have nightmares, and he's just comfortable here. You can turn on the TV, watch an old movie with you and lie quietly, knowing that he will not be called anywhere until he recovers. There was work left in New York for B.S.A.A and TerraSave, but not for him, besides, he didn't take a shower before coming to you, fortunately you had some of his things, including a spare toothbrush and a new disposable razor.

And that was the problem. The problem with his shoulder, which you kept looking at without stopping, as if he had grown a third arm.

“Working moments,” Leon muttered, feeling that he really wouldn’t refuse your dinner. “Can I ask you something else?"

“Yeah, sure.” You really never refused him.

Arias threw him against the wall, clearly sparing no effort, but thanks to the adrenaline, Leon didn’t feel much pain and was able to maneuver and attack this crazy bastard. The truth is that falling from a motorcycle does not benefit his body, which is why when everything calmed down, Leon realized that it was simply difficult for him to pick up the very razor that was now in your hands and do such a simple job as shaving.

“Just stay still, or better yet, sit down,” you said loudly, seeing that Leon didn’t like the touch on his neck when you tried to cover him with shaving foam.

It was already like instinct when they touched his neck. Leon immediately jerked to the side when he felt someone else's palm on his skin, as if the touch caused him pain. He never talked about how often he was grabbed by the throat, but from his reaction one could guess that this was a sensitive area that he did not like to trust to anyone but himself.

“I can’t shave you if you twitch like a little kid who doesn’t want to wash his face,” you joked, using your finger to spread the shaving foam you had on your hand onto the tip of his nose.

"Just...a reflex"

You thought about it, biting your lip, but Leon just exhaled, gathering his strength, knowing that you weren't going to kill him. He trusted you, so he calmly sat down on a small chair, putting his hands on your waist, trying to relax.

You saw how tense his muscles were, as if at any moment he was ready to make a jerk, his fingers squeezed the fabric of your tank top while you distributed foam over his face, trying not to overuse the product at the site of his abrasions that have not yet healed. When that was done, the razor in your hands gently touched the skin of his neck and gently shaved off excess hair from his face with smooth movements against the coarse hairs.

Carefully avoiding all the cuts, you managed not to hurt him. Step by step, you constantly rinsed the razor to remove all the hairs from it and walk it over the places where the stubble still remained. The most difficult thing for Leon was his neck - he felt too exposed and vulnerable, but when it was over and you moved to another zone, it seemed to you that he even exhaled.

In the end, getting carried away with the case, you didn't even notice how Leon was gradually able to relax and carefully watched your movements, finding you charming when you are so focused only on him. Maybe it's a little selfish, but for him you look so beautiful that he thinks about asking you to shave him again in a week when the stubble grows back, just to watch you take care of him again.

It took you a few minutes to catch his eye when you were completely done. The blue eyes stared at you with such attention that for a second you might have thought that something interesting was written on your face since he was looking at you like that. It's a little awkward and you look at him in response, stupidly blinking your eyes when you wipe his face with a towel, which makes a smile bloom on your lips and you look away.

"What's funny?"

To be honest, there really wasn't anything funny, it was just embarrassing for you.

"Did you leave me something like a mustache?" He joked and you burst out laughing

"Good idea! I'll do it next time."

Leon chuckled, because as a temporary joke, you could do that. That's just the accumulated fatigue that fell like a heavy boulder on him did not allow him to rejoice as much as you do.

"You're obviously going to amuse Chris," He sighed. You threw the razor into the sink and froze for a moment when you felt his head pressed against your stomach, relaxing in layers as you run your fingers through his hair "Thank you"

"No problem," you kissed the top of his head, helping him stand up, noticing how he hisses from the pain in his back when he straightens up.

"Fuck." Leon hisses in pain, catching his breath, realizing that maybe he should drink more painkillers and let a loved one take care of him. "I think I'm catching up with my age"

"Maybe. But I think you should rest and follow the doctor's recommendations at least until you stop needing painkillers."

"Until the next mission, you mean?"

You didn't say anything because you didn't know much about his work. After laying Leon on the bed, he finally exhaled with relief after looking at you with secret gratitude. Literally the only person who gives him warmth and comfort, and maybe he should come to you instead of washing down his bitterness in a bar. Thinking about it, Leon even thought that if he had stayed with you, he would not be suffering from his injuries now, however… What would have happened to Chris and Rebecca? But it's too late to regret what happened. He's alive and he's with you now. He lies in your bed listening to the usual chatter while the TV is on in the background and you settle down next to him bringing an extra blanket and pillow.

In the end, you just plopped down next to him, thoughtfully looking at the picture on the TV, pulling the blanket over yourself. Leon moved a little closer to you, hugging you around the waist, nuzzling your cheek, covering his eyes from fatigue. Of course you knew that he works for the government, but never what he does specifically. You saw the "DSO" marking on his gun, but you were afraid to ask him about it, although the fact that Leon has the right to carry and store weapons freely already hinted that he does not work in some average position and his injuries… one is worse than the other.

It is difficult to unravel the thoughts of this person, especially when he is completely immersed in himself. You know that he has some problems with alcohol and a couple of times you even quarreled about it, after which Leon always apologized by coming to you with flowers and other gifts. You turn off the light in the room, turning to him, meeting the tired gaze of blue eyes.

"Thank you. I rarely say this, but I'm grateful for everything you do for me."

"I know."

"Maybe you should find a better guy than me, but" he snuggled even closer and there was fear in his words, as if you could make him leave right now, "but I want to be with you. I can't lead a normal life, but being here with you feels like I'm becoming normal. Who he was before September 30, 1998"

"And what happened on September 30th?" you ask, putting your hand on his palm, smiling, and immediately see how noticeably even in the dark his face changes, becoming more gloomy.

"My first day working as a cop. I overslept and was late for my first day at work"

He could have said a lot and revealed his soul to you without fear if he hadn't been bound by the government. Raccoon City is classified information, and even no matter how much he values you, you shouldn't know anything about it. Fortunately, you do not pry into the truth, leaving his personal border untouched, and for this Leon is infinitely grateful. Maybe in a couple of weeks, when his injuries stop being so painful and his condition improves, he'll even laugh at what kind of mustache you made for him while shaving him again. He will really be happy and he will not need alcohol in this.

[reverieblondie]

For the Dark Prince Rolan thing, what if he initially doesn't really plan to sleep with his bride because he's got too much other stuff to do that he doesn't have any time to waste on his new wife (let's just call her Tav for simplicity's sake).

However, Tav is like, 'Okay fair, this was arranged' but once she realizes that Rolan basically expects her to just stay quiet and out of his way, that he expects to basically continue on doing things the way he's always been doing them where he's the one calling all the shots, Tav basically goes, 'Yeah, no. Arranged or not, we're still supposed to be equals here and I will not have my opinions and input brushed aside and ignored by this pretentious, pink prince of darkness.' Basically, Tav ends up calling Rolan on his nonsense, pointing out flaws and inefficiencies in how he does things, and not being cowed be Rolan's abrasive attitude (heck, maybe the fact that she can dish it back to him causes Rolan to have a 'Wait, that was hot. Why did I find that hot?!' awakening to his sub/bottom bedroom fantasies, much to his own embarrassment and frustration).

Eventually, Rolan starts to realize that Tav actually has good points and maybe he should actually listen to the things his wife tells him. Maybe Rolan ends up realizing that the two of them actually make a pretty effective team, that he and Tav can have very interesting conversations with each other which he greatly enjoys engaging in, and that he really likes her company and how she smiles and smirks at him now and- OH GODS!

Rolan tears off to find Cal and/or Lia, not knowing what it will solve, but knowing no one else to turn to, "Cal!/Lia! I'm an idiot and a fool!"

"I- Uh- Well, both are true and I'm glad you finally realized it, but... Where is this all coming from?"

"I've fallen in love with my wife."

(Sorry, this got longer than I intended and got away from me there. Uh... Do you at least think the dialogue is good? 😅)

People, we have the Dark Prince Rolan plot!

Also anon I hope you know I am using the 'pretentious, pink prince of darkness' as a line Tav says to Rolan and the 'I've fallen in love with my wife!' the dialogue is 10/10!

(if you don't mind of course)

I'm thinking I will have this story running with two others (monster wife and a place to stay w/ Zevlor) But I have it write a few request and one shots first but know these will be coming in the near future! and Anon thank you for all the ideas you have been sending me they have been amazing and helping shape my story a lot!

[kiirotoao]

“El’s not stupid” and Mike’s defensiveness: Byler underneath it all

So, phrase of the day that I can’t stop thinking about that’s driving me insane about Byler: “El’s not stupid.”

Or, I think more emphatically and accurately, “El’s not stupid!” With an exclamation point, because both times that it’s said in season 3, it’s said pretty strongly.

So first, we have Mike, of course. He says it in his fight with Will: “El’s not stupid! It’s not my fault you don’t like girls!” And then, just a few episodes later, we have Nancy saying it, too: “And El’s not stupid! She knows her abilities better than any of us.” What a dichotomy, if you ask me, and what an enlightening one, at that. Because when we look at how the phrase “El’s not stupid” precedes two very specific and contrasting contexts, things start to become pretty interesting. Let’s look at Nancy first, because oh boy, I cannot wait to use it as ammo against Mike (affectionately).

Nancy declares that “El’s not stupid” in addition to the following conversation:

So let’s observe. We have Max, Mike, Nancy, Lucas, and Will having a conversation clearly about El and the flayed. This is about El’s abilities and the situation at hand. They’re trying to find what’s causing the flayed to appear and how to stop them from spreading. Mike is pretty vehemently against El going into the void out of fear that she’ll get hurt “for no reason,” ignoring the problem that they’re all facing right now. Pretty much everyone is against Mike in this argument, fighting for El using her powers because it’s for the greater good, and for the fact that - as the ladies reinforce - she can handle going into the void multiple times. When Nancy says “El’s not stupid,” she says it in the context of trust.

Nancy agrees with Max that El can do things on her own. That El can advocate for herself. That El is strong. She’s not mindless. She’s not misguided. She’s not overexerting herself (Although, overexertion is kinda arguable as she did lose her powers shortly after this in the last episode of the season, but still. In this immediate instance, she does in fact find Billy and still retain her powers).

To Nancy, El’s not stupid, she’s capable.

A high praise of character, if you ask me. It’s a praise directed to her as a person. Because Nancy doesn’t just say that she’s capable to use her “abilities,” she says that El is capable to be “her own person with her own free will.” This is about letting El uphold herself without any other influence. She defends El.

Now, let’s turn to the rain scene in all its heart-wrenching glory and see what Mike has to say about El not being stupid:

Besides the glaring difference of this being a one-on-one skirmish without four extra people around, this conversation is not about El. Or, it didn’t start off that way at all. Will was upset that Mike and Lucas brushed him off in exchange for a desperately hopeful phone call from the girls, and he felt like his foundation, the “Party,” was being ripped out from underneath him. And as the leader of the Party, Will puts responsibility on Mike. Will feels like he’s being treated poorly, and he’s making it clear to Mike. Will is upset at Mike. This conversation is about Mike. And so I think that it’s natural for Mike to defend himself when Will is roasting him at his wit’s end, but notice how he snaps back.

“El’s not stupid!” Mike says. So I’m thinking, right! Okay! Because she’s so much more than that! Because she’s such an incredible girlfriend and he loves hanging out with her! Because she’s kind and caring and sweet and- “It’s not my fault you don’t like girls!” HUH???

After not saying anything about Will, Mike’s sudden attack on him feels so abrasive and sudden! In contrast to how Nancy immediately defends El for “[knowing] her abilities” and being “her own person” and having “free will,” this conversation between Mike and Will contains none of that praise! Mike turns the conversation towards Will. Rather than focus on El, Mike focuses on Will. So when Mike says, “El’s not stupid,” he says it in the context of immediate self-defense.

And there are a number of valid reasons why I think Mike snaps like this, sure, you can argue it all. He loves El. He misreads Will’s anger as a personal defamation against El and gets indignant. He knows that Will doesn’t have a girlfriend and doesn’t know what it’s like. Whatever the case, Mike snaps back because, to him, she’s not a pointless pursuit. She’s not worthless. She’s not meaningless.

To Mike, El’s not stupid, she’s important.

But what does importance have to do with El? Nothing. When something is important to someone, it’s a value. A value that oneself holds in direct relation. This isn’t directed to El as a person, it’s directed to Mike. Mike wants to protect her, and through that, Mike wants to be tied to her. Unlike El in season 3, Mike cannot think of himself as an individual. Unlike El in season 3, Mike doesn’t want to uphold himself without any other influence. In the rain scene, he defends himself.

Now, okay, let’s play this through for Mike. Mike gets defensive when Will brings up El in the rain fight. Flash flash forward to when Mike is arguing over El and the flayed. This is the first time we hear Mike officially say that he loves El. Here’s his chance to speak less towards himself and more towards El. What does Mike say about El?

In sum, Mike thinks that El’s powers should be used with care, she’s not a machine, she shouldn’t risk her life, and he loves her because he “can’t lose her again.”

None of this focuses on El’s character but only her importance as a person.

So, yeah. Nothing. As far as Mike is concerned about El, we still get nothing. Once again, all of this cycles back to Mike and his need of her. He cannot and does not express what he loves about El. All we know is that he loves her… with no clear reason why other than his own worry.

So when we look back at the rain scene and that snap, “it’s not my fault you don’t like girls!” It just… doesn’t seem far-fetched to me to say that Mike is upset at Will because of something much deeper, and this line emerged from a place of frustration. Perhaps frustration that he can’t say why he loves El. Or perhaps why he can’t love her because of the boy right in front of him.

Just look at the way Mike reacts after he says that line:

He’s speechless by himself. He looks ashamed. And unlike Nancy and Max's clear delineation of El's merit and rights, Mike doesn't say a thing about her in the rain scene other than, simply, she’s “not stupid.” And then that’s it. He can’t go on about El, not when he needs to defend himself again. Not when he just messed it up with Will. So let’s see what he says:

In sum, Mike doesn’t want to be a jerk to Will, he associates growing up with getting girlfriends, and playing D&D and keeping things the way they were is childish.

Notice how all of this focuses on Will’s importance and his character.

In Mike’s eyes, he doesn’t want to come off as harsh. Mission failure, but he at least tries to placate what he knows he just said. Mike treats Will as someone important to him, and he doesn’t want to hurt him. And it doesn’t just end there. He then expresses the situation at hand, remotely mentioning Lucas and Dustin also having girlfriends and Will’s dissimilarity in that. And finally, he knows that Will still wants to play D&D and rebuts that they can’t play forever. Even though they are in disagreement, Mike directly addresses Will’s wants and seems to know his heart. And following such a sudden, assertive, and knowing line as, “it’s not my fault you don’t like girls!” without a single prompting word from Will in reply, it seems to me that Mike is very likely projecting his shared wants onto being Will’s fault. It’s just the easy way out to hide inner feelings.

Because truly, Mike doesn’t meander with Will. He doesn’t avoid the heart of the situation. Mike may not actively be praising Will’s character, I will admit, but he addresses Will’s wants and pursues Will constantly, knowing when he’s screwed things up with Will. It’s like Mike doesn’t even have to express who Will is to him, Mike just acts, and so it’s clear that there’s so much that Mike loves about Will. So again, with such a reflex jab as “it’s not my fault you don’t like girls!” to Will saying that El is a “stupid girl” (which, side note: I think Mike is misreading Will's anger using El as one against El, and Will never really meant to call El "stupid" at all. When Will said that El's "stupid," here, I think that he said it more like an enhancer rather than an actual defamation of her as a person), it all seems.. a little suspicious on Mike’s side. Why can’t he praise her character? Why does Will cause such a roadblock to him? Why is Will so different and so easy to pursue compared to El?

So yeah, in all cases, El’s not stupid. But in the rain scene, was it really in Mike’s mind to defend her or defend himself and the conflicting truth?

[katbrando]

for my jjba self-shipping server's first collaborative mixtape, we decided to go with a double theme! side A consists of members' song choices for a first dance with their f/o, while side B flips the switch and includes tracks for spicier occasions. the resulting 18-song playlist is linked below, and you can find members' thoughts on their selections under the cut! thank you to those who participated, i always have a blast making these with y'all 🤎

🎧 spotify playlist link

💿 full tracklist (and gushing) ⬇️

1. "Just What I Needed" by The Cars ∾ Eileen & Jotaro (@dogsofardour)

"Jotaro would choose “Just What I Needed” by The Cars. It’s an accurate reflection of how he first felt in Eileen’s presence. It’s a little abrasive but the song is all tender underneath the bravado. It’s not a very typically romantic song, but oh! It fits, and what a lovely sensation of exhilaration."

2. "You're Still the One" by Shania Twain ∾ Anika & Jotaro (@anikasenkujo)

"Jotaro and Anika have a unique road to their wedding. First, he proposes to her in Morioh, in front of people he considers close with a family heirloom ring that Holy handed to him. Then, after tons of arguments and after almost not being married, they have Hindu pre-wedding festivities and a Christian wedding. So their first dance, is a reminder to themselves of the journey that they’ve undergone as a couple. From traveling to Cairo, to them being separated by circumstances and misunderstandings, to Anika losing her memories during this time, to broken previous relationships and to them being reunited. All of the moments they’ve had, led to the moment that they’re having right now. Their first dance is symbolic of how far they’ve come despite people saying that they’ll never be together. It’s symbolic of the fact that true love always hopes, perseveres and trusts."

3. "This Must be the Place" by Sure Sure ∾ Julie & Risotto (@reclusiverisottonero)

""I'm just an animal looking for a home"--Risotto didn't have much of a place to call a home or many people he could reliably think of as family. He didn't think he even needed such things as an assassin but didn't realize he'd unconsciously been seeking it out until he meets me, and suddenly something clicks and he goes, "Oh". 'Home' as a concept is the people you choose to surround yourself with, and little by little we opened up the doors to our hearts to let one another inside to permanently settle in. It makes this song a no-brainer for our first dance as a married couple."

4. "The Book of Love" by Peter Gabriel ∾ Rydia & Dio (@hammerofspace)

"I've got this headcanon that Dio is very slow to actually discuss soft feelings and that when he does open up about them it's a whole to do. The song focuses a lot on not knowing about love and it's intricacies but that the moments of togetherness build it into something more despite the unknown. More than anything, I'm also convinced this man would try to find a book for all things he's unsure of and would absolutely follow a book of love like it was his personal handbook if there was one discussing all the possibilities of love."

5. "Like Real People Do" by Hozier ∾ Kat and Diego (@katbrando)

"Besides this track being just short enough for me to ignore the anxiety that would come with dancing in front of people, the lyrics always give me goosebumps. The subtle changes in the chorus as the song progresses remind me of a relationship that's slowly shifting and growing, where two damaged people are learning to trust each other and open up. Having this moment after we've just been married would feel like a shared sigh of relief in knowing we've forever found someone who makes us feel safe and whole."

6. "As the World Falls Down" by David Bowie ∾ Isabella & Dio (@drakkar-noir)

"It’s kind of cheesy, but I love this song so much along with the scene it’s featured in in Labyrinth. It’d probably take some convincing to sway Dio into having this be our first dance, but he’d eventually relent because he actually likes David Bowie. It would be a very sweet and tender slow dance with lots of private whispers and smiles."

7. "I've Got You Under My Skin" by Dionne Warwick ∾ Lazarus & Dio (@phvntom-limbs)

"This is for a couple reasons. Firstly, this is a song that touches on the complete and utter devotion to that One person, loving someone so much you would do basically anything for them. And this cover in particular is a slower take on it, so it's perfect for a little romantic dance :3"

8. "Young and Beautiful" by Lana Del Rey ∾ Avelino & Melone & Pesci (@cinnamonnbonnie)

"I've seen the many beauty's of the world, irresistible landscapes, colors of the winds, and felt in my heart and soul when nature spoke in its way. When the world gets old, we are able to see forms, shapes, and crystals that only the time can make it look beautiful. Diamonds get the most brilliant and graceful as time goes by, and humans decay and get turned into dust, buried and forgotten. That's the end of the line. Although we die, we will continue to shine like gold, endlessly shining even under the ground."

9. "Iris" by The Goo Goo Dolls ∾ Leo & Gyro (@leozeppeli)

"We didn’t have a first dance or anything, so Gyro played Iris in the car after we eloped because it was the cheesiest song he could think of without being too cliche."

1. "Passenger" by Deftones ∾ Leo & Gyro (@leozeppeli)

"…he then put on Passenger ten minutes later and promptly pulled over into a dark parking lot."

2. "Tessellate" by alt-J ∾ Kat & Diego (@katbrando)

"Most of alt-J's lyrics honestly baffle me, but there's something undeniably sexy about this song. It starts with "bite chunks out of me, you're a shark and i'm swimming" and based on the overall vibe, you can't tell me that doesn't have dirty implications. Additionally, "tessellate" basically means "to fit together closely"."

3. "Slow Hand" by The Pointer Sisters ∾ Eileen & Jotaro (@dogsofardour)

"The Pointer Sisters’ “Slow Hand” is a pretty good tone setter. It’s slow, sensual, and the lyrics demand the lover show more consideration and finesse than a quickie."

4. "Soulful" by L'Indécis ∾ Rydia & Dio (@hammerofspace)

"To keep with the honeymoon encompassing theme, there's no words in this song and I think that would be important. The time alone away from everyone is about savoring wordless moments and each other and the tempo fits the idea of taking things slowly and basking in them in my head. He's a hedonist and takes his time with all things pleasurable 👀"

5. "Eat Your Young" by Hozier ∾ Lila & Cioccolata (@cinnamonnbonnie)

"Seven ways that we can sin, seven ways that we can taste each other, seven reasons to start the fire, along seven craving desires that only the other can satisfy. We made the most beautiful sin, the honey dripping from our bodies is the most divine taste, the heat makes the edges burn, and we feel deep inside, craving for each other more, a war that only us can fight."

6. "Love Me Harder" by Ariana Grande & The Weeknd ∾ Anika & Jotaro (@anikasenkujo)

"After their wedding in Calcutta, Jotaro and Anika’s 8 day honeymoon in Goa, an Indian state full of beaches is something that’s filled with adventures of all kinds. There are many moments of lovemaking, and learning about one’s likes and dislikes in sex. Also, just because they reunited after 10 years, they couldn’t take this moment lightly, they got to love each other harder, with every moment filled with passion, and sheer commitment to each other. Because they’ve slept with different people before, this song is a reaffirmation of their love to each other but in a carnal manner."

7. "Freak" by Lana Del Rey ∾ Isabella & Dio (@drakkar-noir)

"Very fitting that this is from the “Honeymoon” album! I love this song SO MUCH though and the vibes it brings for the bedroom are immaculate. The song is supposed to be about convincing your partner to be a freak with you, but we all know there would be no convincing needed for either party in this case."

8. "Watcher" by Femme En Fourrure ∾ Julie & Risotto (@reclusiverisottonero)

"The exchange of power and control can be intensely intimate. Risotto's trust is something to be treasured, to not be taken for granted even for a moment. I enjoy the dark beats of this track contrasting with the lightheartedness of the first song, but primarily love how the bluntness of the lyrics still have this craving for your partner beneath the surface . Risotto and I want to consume each other so completely, so wholly that sometimes all grace needs to be discarded so we can just fuck."

9. "Closer" by In This Moment ∾ Lazarus & Dio (@phvntom-limbs)

"This song just straight up fucks. It's already musical sex but Maria Brink has a voice that's just WA it's so good. Such a sexy song. Like biblically sexy."

[eliaskahtri]

Have Mouth, Must Screm || Elias & Chris

Location: A Latte to Love

Timing: October 16th, evening

Parties: Elias (@eliaskahtri) & Chris (@chrisgates)

Summary: Feeling overwhelmed, Elias lets loose and screams in the woods. Unfrotunately for him, Chris overhears.

Content Warnings: None

He had only been in town a few days, and he already felt he wanted to escape from his own skin. Elias's goal was to run away and never be seen again. It was close to sunset when he finally felt his anxieties catch up. His hands were shaking. He felt so weak. He had to handle this. This was his life now. There was no running away from his problems anymore. He was an adult, dammit. He had to act like it. Still, his thoughts whirled around in his head. The two people he had wanted to avoid the most had been the first two people he had run into as soon as he had gotten into town. It felt like one big cosmic joke.

He clenched his hands into tight fists as he wandered off the set path. His mind was racing. Flashes of the woman's body that had sent him running danced through his mind. Flashes of driving back to California, how numb to the world he had felt in those moments. Even after his extensive therapy, something just didn’t feel right. He had been told it was all in his head, but he had difficulty believing it. It just didn’t… didn’t add up… 

Elias closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath and letting out a loud scream. All the anxiety, rage, and confusion he had bottled up inside came tumbling out. His hands balled into fists at his sides as he stomped his feet hard on the ground. When he stopped screaming, he took a deep breath, feeling slightly better. Not much, but a little.

Running from his problems was something that Chris did best — and he didn’t even know about half of them. While holed up in Wicked’s Rest, however, the running wasn’t cutting it. He felt more pent up than ever, more sensitive and susceptible to giving in to the very thing he tried so hard to ignore. It just wasn’t working, and with Halloween so close, he thought he might jump out of his skin with nerves. 

So he took up screaming. (It’s weird, he’s aware of it. Please don’t rub it in). Not in public places, of course, but more in the sad, isolated corners of the creepy little town. Anywhere that wasn’t frequented by human kind, at least not at all hours of the day, Chris would venture into and let go of some of that frustration. He didn’t think it’d be that much of an issue considering the unusual ambience. But he also didn’t think he’d have to share that space. How naive of him.

Just as he made it to the little clearing, he heard someone else. For a split second he thought that they might need help, but the tone of their scream caused Chris to halt in his tracks. They were doing the same thing he went out there to do. How awkward. Deciding it was in both of their best interests, he started to back away as slowly as he possibly could. Given the nature of the forest itself, it was only natural that he would step on something loud and abrasive, something that would give away his position. A branch — a few dried leaves still clung to it.

Wide eyes darted up from the branch to the figure half obscured by the tree in his line of sight. Did they hear that? Oh god, he hoped not. He didn’t really want to be alone with someone out in the woods — especially since the sun had already started to set. It was going to be dark soon. 

Hearing the sound of a snapping branch after Elias stopped screaming caused him to freeze in place. Was someone out there? Or worse, something. He didn’t dare speak, didn’t dare move. Instead, he threw his hands into his pockets and pulled out the can of mace he had started to carry on him. The woods were too dangerous, especially when the sun was going down. He wasn’t about to learn the hard way how dangerous these animals could be, especially after working with Regan long enough to see that damage first-hand.

He looked in the direction of the sound to see a humanoid figure. There was a vague hope in the back of his mind that it was some form of cryptid he’d been reading up on, but he tossed those hopes aside. It was definitely a human. “Uh. I can explain?” Elias called out, his voice rising at the end in embarrassment. He really couldn’t explain, but that was neither here nor there.

Hello, he thought in his mind as he rolled his eyes at himself. My name is Elias, and I like to scream in the middle of the woods when it’s getting dark out. You know, because it soothes me. Yeah, there was no way that would go over well with a complete stranger. Or anyone, for that matter. Elias let out a sigh and kept the bear mace in his hand. He still wasn’t sure if this person was a friend or foe. “Sorry for disturbing your walk.” He then called out, albeit a bit sheepishly.

The hair all over his body stood on end the moment he saw the flurry of a hand and retrieval of something. Chris couldn’t tell what it was at first glance and it made him immediately nervous, but upon further inspection he noted the shape of the nozzle. Not a gun, at least, but it was definitely a spray of some kind. Great, at least he wasn’t in any immediate danger, he could relax a little. The hesitant voice that came from the other man definitely helped to ease him more than the not-gun did.

“It’s cool,” he returned, just as unsure as his company sounded, and with his own hands up defensively he hoped he didn’t come across as a threat. “I mean,” should he be honest? He, too, had wandered out into what he assumed was the middle of the woods to let off a little steam in the form of yelling, but should he be honest about that? If their roles were reversed and he was the one found, Chris would want at least a little understanding. But he also would be too embarrassed to have much of a conversation, anyway. 

“I, um..” he had to laugh, awkwardly. “I… Actually came out here to do the same thing.. So… all good, I guess?” Maybe that little bit of honesty would help to ease some tension — and lower that potential can of danger.

Upon hearing the stranger’s voice, Elias immediately relaxed. The stranger’s hands went up, and he put the spray away. He found that he wasn’t that embarrassed for his actions. After all, anyone in his shoes would be screaming along with him. And this stranger, they seemed to know what he was talking about. He blinked once. Twice. He was out here to do the same thing. A part of him felt bad that this man had it hard enough to feel a need just to escape the world and scream as loud as he could for as long as he could. He didn’t like that they could relate to his need for it.

Elias gave a sad smile, then shrugged his shoulders in a ‘what can you do?’ manner. “Guess we both have shit going on in our lives, huh?” He remarked, crossing his arms over his chest. “Sorry that you had to bear witness to that.” He then added, giving a bit of a sheepish smile. “Life just…” he trailed off, eyes going distant before he continued, “...sucks sometimes.” He finished, voice soft and far away. 

Balams. If such a thing could exist, then why couldn’t fae? And if fae could exist, then why couldn’t vampires? Werewolves, selkies, bigfoot? Once one became real, all species of supernatural creatures became open to the possibility of being real. It was too much to handle. Elias squeezed his eyes shut and willed the thoughts away. Balam wasn’t real, and that Felix person was just a very enthusiastic furry. They had to be. Because if they weren’t, then Elias didn’t know what he would do with the information. His entire life was suddenly a lie. And he didn’t get to know why? Because he was a human? Boring? 

Because he was weak, Elias knew this to be the real root of the problem. Obviously, he was weak. He ran away the second he caught a whiff of something otherworldly. He was weak and out in the woods screaming as hard and loud as he could because he couldn’t handle the truth, no matter how hard it screamed back at him. He sighed, defeated, opening his eyes to look at the strange again. “Well, if you’re here to scream about life’s problems, don’t let me stop you,” Elias spoke with a half-smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. 

“You’re telling me… Understatement of the year,” Chris returned with his own half-smile. It wasn’t just shit and it didn’t just suck, but he wasn’t about to go into details with a stranger. Even though this guy seemed just as stressed as he did, that didn’t mean that he couldn’t be unpredictable. People could be complicated and not everything was black and white. He still needed to be careful despite the relief that came with knowing he wasn’t alone.

“I figured this might help more than running does…” Which it helped some, but only for the run. He wasn’t releasing anything from hitting the pavement or grass or sand. He was just running from it, not accepting it and letting it go. A yell or scream into the unsuspecting foliage that surrounded them felt a lot better in the long run, even if Chris didn’t think he would ever find complete relief, only bandaids along the way. Though, he was going to need to find a new spot if he wasn’t going to be the only visitor to this neck of the woods.

Chris kicked at a rock and disturbed some of the grass there with the toe of his sneaker. “Oh, well, I don’t know if I can now…” he gestured vaguely at his company before both hands found a resting spot at his hips. “I get a little stage fright,” he joked, but it wasn’t a complete lie. Then again, he did wander into this guy’s own intimate little therapy session. He didn’t ask for an audience, and yet there was Chris, giving him one. It would only be fair, right? “Only if you think it’s fair, I mean.. I did intrude.”

Elias couldn’t help but laugh at the idea of someone actually screaming because he told them to. It tickled him. He held a hand up, shaking his head as he laughed. “Please don’t feel like you need to scream. You’re totally fine!” He insisted. He chuckled at the idea of this guy people-pleasing so hard that he flew into the sun and screamed the whole way. Man, this was funny to him. He let out a sigh as he finally got himself under control. “I’m Elias,” he introduced, sticking his hand out toward Chris to shake. 

“And while we could totally form a screaming in the woods to let out our existential dread club, I have been looking for some running  or hiking partners.” Elias began to explain with a smile. “You mentioned you run to help alleviate stress.” He shrugged his shoulders. “I’m still pretty new to the area; I could use someone who knows the trails better than I do.” He looked around the woods, frowning for a moment. “Plus, there’s also the fact that creepy animals live in this town, and it’s probably not that safe to go running alone.” He amended, thinking back to the weird rat thing he saw when he first arrived or the lightning-shooting not-Pikachu he ran into at the bog. 

“If you’re interested, don’t feel the need to say yes out of feeling bad.” Elias held his hands up, eyes widening. The last thing he wanted was to make someone feel obligated to do something they weren’t inclined to do in the first place. 

If Chris could physically see his anxiety fall away, it would look like the very top of a sand castle, loose and crumbling. Maybe there wasn’t actually anything nefarious or ulterior about this mildly unusual conversation between the trees. Maybe he was being too careful, too paranoid. It was normal for someone to want alone time, especially to let out steam. Unless your house or apartment or room were soundproof, or you worked in a kitchen with a walk-in freezer, there weren’t too many options to just let it out.

He mimed a wipe of his brow in jest. “Good. Good! I can’t perform under pressure so that’s a relief…” God he wished he hadn’t said that. His eyes crinkled just slightly in a wince, but he tried to keep the smile on his face friendly instead of disgusted. “Nice to meet you, I’m Chris,” he returned, though he’d taken a second to grab and shake the other man’s hand. His nerves fought him every step of the way. 

But his want for friends was greater than that, so the mention of a running or hiking partner piqued his interest. There wasn’t inherently off about Elias, either, at least not that Chris would immediately ping. Some people had a smell (not a normal, body odor kind of smell but something rotting) and others still seemed to be absolutely quiet — there just wasn’t a single sound, blood rushing or heart pumping, in their body. Elias didn’t immediately seem… off. Other than the ‘screaming in the woods’ bit, but that was completely normal.

“I do feel bad… but you’re making some very good points.” He knew the trails pretty well — it had been over six months since he first moved to Wicked’s Rest and he’d done well on his own, but he’d come across some strange and sometimes dangerous things along his travels and it wouldn't hurt to have a running buddy, especially one who seemed to be like-minded. At least, when it came to stress relievers. The little monster inside his head didn’t want that, but Chris did and that was enough. “You know.. Yeah,” he shrugged with an attitude of ‘why not’, “I’m down.” If Elias needed a guide, then he would be it. “How long have you been living here so far? I only just moved here this year but.. I feel like I practically live out here.” 

Chris’s admission of performance anxiety elicited another round of laughter from Elias, who shook his head and wiped a tear from his eye. “You’re very honest,” he noted with an amused smile. “But, then again we both came out to the woods to scream like idiots, so.” He shrugged his shoulder after his statement. He pulled a face, completely unaware that he was being scrutinized by the man beside him.

“Something tells me you often feel bad.” Elias wagered with a narrowing of his eyes, though it was playful. “I often have good points, that’s why I get paid the big bucks.” He waggled his brows at Chris, then let out a laugh at his own expense. “As much as I love running before sunrise on the streets of Wicked’s Rest, I think I’d like it better if I ran in the woods. It’s more peaceful, always has been. Too many hobbies of mine include being in the woods.”

“I, uh, was here for a couple of months a few months ago, then I went back home,” Elias explained, realizing that he wasn’t all that comfortable sharing his mental breakdown story with a complete stranger. “And I came back about two weeks ago because I have a job out here now, so I have some experience with the trails, but not nearly as much as I’d like.” He hoped he could get away with that explanation. He’d already had to explain himself to the people who had caught him skulking around town. Then again, he was happy to have rekindled his totally-not-friendship with Regan again.

Honest, yes, he was very honest. Sometimes to a fault. The truth, to the right person, had a tendency to come spilling out, even if it was laced with a laugh or two. He just couldn’t help it. “Yeahhh…” Chris started and shifted a little uncomfortably, but he didn’t feel like he was in danger. Not anymore. That could always change at the drop of a hat, unfortunately, but he would enjoy the ease for now. “People have said that.. And okay, true, that’s fair. This is kind of.. Idiotic.” Both the screaming itself and the act of being out in the woods alone were definitely idiotic, but that didn’t mean that he had to like being called out.

“Um,” Chris worried at his bottom lip as he hesitated, “only on days ending in ‘y’.” While he couldn’t help but feel like it was a jab or a pry, he tried his best to play it off as the joke Elias had set it up as. Difficult, considering the gnawing in his belly. “What do you do then?” He asked with a small, respectful laugh in return. “I agree, completely. I don’t know how you did it.. I can’t stand the noise. Heh, me too, actually.. I’m a photographer, specifically nature, so I’m kind of always out here.”

“Well.. I’m sure I can help with that in no time. Welcome back, though. I hope the job’s worth dealing with all the weirdness again.” He offered with a sheepish shrug. “Where’s home for you, if you don’t mind me asking?” Chris wished he had somewhere like that to go back to — the only place like that was filled with death. 

Elias all but ignored Chris’s growing awkwardness and lit up like a Christmas Tree at the mention of Chris being a nature photographer. “Oh, I’m a biomedical engineer specializing in robotic prosthetics.” He said hurriedly, as it if wasn’t important or interesting at all. “But tell me what you’ve managed to photograph around here!” He spoke, eyes wide and full of childlike wonder. Suddenly, his mind was full of ideas of potential cryptids, something he had almost forgotten about! How could he be so stupid when he was finally hearing about hints of Bigfeet sightings?

“I’m sure with all the strange animals around here you’ve seen something, yeah?” Elias grinned, now hanging off of Chris’s every word. “I’m something of a cryptid enthusiast, and this town has so many sightings it would make your head spin. Big lake monsters, giant screaming moose, multitailed foxes, Bigfoot!” He took a step back out of Chris’s personal space, trying to calm himself down. He was used to being really off-putting to people when he started talking about his love of cryptids.

Once he sufficiently calmed down, he tuned back into what Chris was saying, blinking a few times for good measure. “Oh, I’m from southern California.” Elias spoke, nodding his head with a bright smile. “Not anymore though, now it’s here.” He shrugged his shoulders at the idea of leaving California behind. It didn’t bother him. Plus it wasn’t like his family wasn’t like his family was never going to demand he come home for the holidays. They did it to his sister who lived in England, they’d certainly do it to him. 

Bio robot– what? Chris heard what Elias had said, but he couldn’t grasp it. It hurried by too quickly and a question had already taken its place by the time he realized he hadn’t quite understood. “Oh, uh,” he started, a little taken aback but he was happy to talk about his work, “a bit of everything, I think. I haven’t been to the crater, though. Yet. It’s on my to-do list. But I’ve been about everywhere else.”

He offered a shrug. Had he seen anything weird? Well, yes, but did he want to believe it? No, not really. But then Elias hurried through his words, excitement evident in his tone as he listed various cryptid creatures. “Sorry, haven’t seen anything like that. I saw a really big chicken once? But I think it was just.. Bigger than normal. Nothing crazy, though.” He wasn’t about to mention the weirdness that surrounded Zane, but he didn’t think that was ‘cryptid’ material anyway. “There might be something in my camera roll? I don’t have anything on me.. Oh, there could be something on my website, too. Maybe you’ll notice, like, a hiding Bigfoot or whatever in one of them.”

Elias’ excitement was both amusing and endearing, but Chris was glad when he toned it down. His elevated energy was palpable and the distance between them had started to shrink, making that anxious energy rear its ugly head again. “Really? I’m from Oregon. Not the same state, but… West coast,” he shrugged nervously but with a smile all the same. He hoped this place would be more permanent than everywhere else. “It’s a difference, that’s for sure.”

Elias blinked. Of course, there was a crater here. “A crater. Yeah. Alright.” He spoke, seeming to echo his thoughts. “Of course, there is. Why wouldn’t there be?” He rolled his eyes, the ridiculous nature of the town they lived in seeming to become more visible to him. “Giant chickens and giant craters, Wicked’s Rest.” He shook his head, letting out an exasperated sigh. “I saw a giant rat once. It was, like, the size of a small dog.” He blinked, remembering how real that felt for him. “Or it was a small dog that looked like a rat.” He then spoke, not wanting to sound completely crazy. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately.

He seemed to relax after Chris explained he hadn’t seen much. He was a bit disappointed, but he expected the response all the same. “Well, if you ever come across Bigfoot, tell me first.” He spoke, leaning in towards Chris conspiratorially. He was mostly doing so in a joking manner, though there was a hint of seriousness deep down. “There’s a lot of weird cryptid stories around here,” Elias explained with a nod of his head.

He smiled as Chris explained they were from Oregon. “West coasters displaced onto the east coast.” Elias remarked with a smile. “Seems to be a few of us out here.” He thought for a moment about the number of people who lived here that weren’t originally from Maine. It seemed like a random town to be drawn to, but he supposed that if he could be drawn to the strangeness that was this town, then surely others did as well.

Chris had to laugh a little at Elias’ reaction. The crater was a surprise to him, too, when he’d first heard about it, but after seeing it, it was really amazing to see. It was huge — just as big as people described. “You should go see it, if you’re into that kind of stuff. The crater I mean — or maybe you’re into the giant chicken, too, I don’t know…” Maybe it was a cryptid and he didn’t know about it. “I.. hope it was neither. That sounds awful. What was it– you know what, I don’t want to know.” The image alone was enough, he didn’t want to know what it was doing. Or where.

“Yeah sure. You’ll be the first to know.” It wasn’t like he knew anyone else who would be interested in that kind of stuff. Who else would he tell? “I’ve heard of a few, yeah. There’s one involving mimes but I don’t remember all the details.” He suddenly perked up as he dug around in one of his jean pockets. “Oh, here,” Chris handed over a plain, white and slightly bent business card. “It has my website and email on there. The website has everything else linked so,” he gave a sheepish shrug, but a smile nonetheless.

“Maybe there’s some kind of supernatural energy bringing us all here, like in a Stephen King novel or something. It’s nice, though. Similar to home, but it has its own quirks. I’m starting to like it.” Chris blinked up at a few falling leaves and sniffed at the shifting air. “I’m gonna head out, I think. I don’t really feel like screaming anymore so…..” It felt wrong to say anything else. “... thank you. It was nice to meet you. Uh.. Are you going to be okay by yourself?” He would have walked with him back to the trail, to safety, but a nod of confirmation was all he needed from the other man. He would be okay, he supposed.

“Take it easy.. I’ll, uh, see you around.” It was weird to just leave Elias there, in the woods, but that was probably for the best. At least for now. Maybe he’d be a new friend – that would be nice. The woods had him now, though, him and his screaming.

[tarnishedxknight]

[ Wounds That Refuse To Heal ]

Mantis nodded when Ashelia explained why she didn’t like Noah. “That is understandable, Princess, and I do not blame you for having that opinion of him.” She wrung her hands. Of course, she wasn’t going to tell Ashelia that Noah’s story about his friend was actually about himself, so Mantis shrugged calmly. “I have two friends who would often use anger as a defense mechanism, and they still do from time to time. I have been around them long enough to know that, even when their pain makes them harsh or volatile, it is pain still.”

She was talking about Rocket and Nebula. The only two Guardians left alive after Thanos killed half of all living creatures. Ironically, that had been enough to abruptly quiet their rage for some time, bringing the two Guardians closer together.

Mantis wasn’t worried that Noah could tell Basch; if he did, Mantis could simply erase that information from Basch’s memory as well as Noah’s. In any case, she was glad he chose to let Ashelia approach the situation on her terms. It made things easier for Mantis, as she didn’t want to take any feelings of control from Noah. She respectfully nodded to Basch when he acknowledged her, and she was happy to take a walk outside with Ashelia and Basch. She smiled sheepishly when Ashelia told him about her floral abilities. Mantis rarely enjoyed being the center of attention, and she fought the urge to divert it away from herself, not wanting to appear distant.

“Oh, yes, well… I used to help my father with his gardens. I would devour some of the flowers when he was not looking, though,” she admitted. “When I was not helping him with the gardens, I would spend my time reading, exploring or looking at the stars. I have always been very curious by nature. I liked to learn and I still do.” Her head tilted to the side, and she smiled. “Do you like to learn new things?” she asked to both Ashelia and Basch.

__________

“You mean... you think there is more there, underneath the surface? That he may be hiding vulnerability underneath all that... that... abrasiveness?” It was not an entirely foreign concept to Ashelia. After all, it was not as if she didn’t do the same herself, or that she hadn’t discovered far more beneath Basch’s surface in recent months than she every thought possible, but... Gabranth? He seemed like such a solidly hateful and angry man that it was difficult to imagine him being anything else. “I’ve not an inkling of how he expects anyone to understand him, then, when he is more defensiveness and hatred than man,” Ashelia said, though it was not meant as a dig, a criticism, or mockery. She truly wondered how anyone could reach a man like that, deep down where it must have counted for something.

“How long did your friends stay so angry?” Ashe asked, unaware of how inexperienced and innocent the question was. As if people who used anger and defensiveness as coping mechanisms or ways of protecting a vulnerable core with a hardened exterior could just... one day... stop doing so. “I bet they found it nigh impossible to do so around you,” she then said, smiling affectionately at Mantis. It was meant as a compliment, since to Ashelia, Mantis was someone who seemed to be able to make just about anyone comfortable around her.

“Oh, yes!” Ashelia answered Mantis. “Basch helped me to learn many things my father would have be live in ignorance about. Isn’t that right?”

“Aye, princess,” Basch said simply.

“He brought me books and taught me the sword, and he would even explain a bit about the stars sometimes at night. I’ve learned much from him over the years,” she said, as if touting Basch’s usefulness in an affectionate manner. “But yes, I love to learn.”

And that got her looking around at the nearby plants as they headed toward the forest. Ashelia loved nature. She got plenty of it in Dalmasca, but it was very specific, for the kingdom had been nestled in amongst the flora and fauna of a narrowly defined desert biome. She grew up seeing the same trees, the same lizards, the same leaves all her life. During her brief stint as an adventurer, she’d had the ability to see many different biomes in several lands, but this was always when she was under such duress. At the time, she’d been worried for Dalmasca’s future, too worried to stop and smell the roses, as they said in this time period. Now, however, she was free to do just that, and her almost childlike wonder at discovering new things which stemmed from her isolated and sheltered upbringing began to show itself.

“Learning is important,” Basch said, answering Mantis in his own way. “No matter what life may throw your way, no one can take from you the knowledge you have acquired. It becomes part of you and helps you to grow.”

“Look! There is a little one... growing on this larger tree!” Ashelia said randomly, turning over one of the leaves of a nearby vine and examining it as if the conversation had been thoroughly immersed in that topic and she was simply continuing it. Basch and Mantis might have been talking, for all she knew, but she’d been distracted by the lovely foliage and lost track of the conversation. When she saw them looking at her, she smiled nervously. “I’m sorry. It’s beautiful,” she said almost shyly, her cheeks turning a bit pink. Had she not been born a princes, she might have been an artist or a botanist for all her love of nature.

“‘Tis a vine, highness. Like those which clung to the walls of Lowtown,” Basch said, using a reference she would understand.

“Is it alright? Healthy plants are not brown and crispy, are they?” she asked, frowning a little.

“It has likely died back for winter. Worry not. It shall become green again in warmer months,” Basch said.

“How do you know that?” she asked with interest.

“The same was true of certain plants in Landis, my lady. There were four full seasons there, and plants went through many such changes,” he dutifully explained. 

“I see...” Ashelia said, still eyeing the vine excitedly, tilting her head back to look far up the tree’s trunk to see how long it was. “I bet you’ve seen so many plants either one of us could only dream about, Mantis, haven’t you?” she said with a smile.

Ashe’s happiness strangely made Basch a little sad. While he was glad that she was now free to explore the world, there was so much wrong with that. It wasn’t the right world, not the one she would have wanted to explore. And for all her wonder, look at what had to be given up for her to have the freedom to pursue and indulge in it. It also illustrated just how sheltered she had been, that a simple vine growing on a tree that she’s previously never seen should amaze her so. She was a woman with so much history, so much loss to bear, so much weight on her shoulders, and yet her father’s protectiveness had in some ways left her so innocent still.

And yet he still loved her with all that he was. That hadn’t changed now that they were in this time, living different lives as Avengers. If anything, the freedom and time to consider his love for her had made it all the more potent. Of course, he could never say as much to her, but that was alright. It was enough to be in her company, to see her smile, and hopefully one day after she had worked through the trauma of everything that had happened, to thrive. There was love in his gaze for her, though, for those who knew how to look for it. Mercifully for Basch, Ashelia seemed to be oblivious to it. He would not dare ruin their friendship by confessing such things to her.

[svartalfhild]

The fact that there is a SEVERE lack of Ashton x Laudna headcanons/support after this recent episode PAINS ME.

Come on!

The emotionally charged insistence to be willing to do ANYTHING to bring her back?

The clear reluctance of leaving her when others called for help?

The continual quietly bringing up seeking out the person who already “owns” him because of their debt because he’s perfectly happy to get even deeper if it means they can see Laudna as a living and happy person again?

I could go on, but there is SO MUCH breadcrumbs Talisen is feeding the critters that is going ignored!

It doesn’t help that last night Ihad a dream that Ashton is finally confessing to Laudna of their feelings and it’s so painfully sweet and romantic and heartfelt, only she gets a little distracted because she somehow can turn invisible now and she’s super excited about it, and while Ashton is jokingly wondering to himself why they are in love with this goofball, she surprises him with a little kiss on the lips and wanders off giggling to show everyone else her new trick, while Ashton is hilariously rooted to the spot staring after her, his lips curiously dyed a similar dark inky color to Laudna’s magic goop 😅

I feel you, Anon. I think a lot of people are too focused on Laudna's bond with Imogen to consider Ashton, who so obviously cares deeply about Laudna in ways he doesn't about any of the other Bells Hells, even FCG, whom he's known the longest. He goes out of his way to look out for her. He pays attention to her. He always notices when she's having a hard time and tries to help her. He tells her he likes her, all of her, and has made that clear repeatedly since day one.

All of that is remarkable enough, considering Ashton's attitudes towards attachment and most other people generally, but their reaction to Laudna's death is truly significant and revealing. This crotchety, abrasive punk, who went through so much to get free of Hexum, said they would be happy to be immediately plunged back into debt if it would save Laudna's life, without a moment's hesitation. They are desperate not to lose her. "We will fucking fix this." You could not have a clearer indication that Laudna means the world to them. God the "tell Hexum I will doing anything" fucking broke me.

I'm also kind of obsessed with how Ashton's behaviour runs parallel to Imogen's. Imogen is the recognized Closest Person To Laudna™, but so much of Ashton's behaviour shows he's just as devastated as her, though he processes it differently. I think the best moment that illustrates that is when he wants to put her in the hole to protect her body and Imogen snaps at him to carry her. He's thinking of the most practical way to keep Laudna's body from harm, because the more quickly and efficiently he can handle everything, then the faster Laudna can be saved, but Imogen's thinking of it as undignified, Laudna's body deserving more than to be thrown in a hole. And then Ashton sees Imogen's point immediately and carries Laudna without argument, because they both want Laudna to have everything she is due. And neither of them wanna leave her. And oh man the bit where Ashton asked Imogen to trust them, like they're asking her if she trusts that they'll do anything for Laudna and never do anything to intentionally hurt or disrespect her.

I super need to see Ashton contribute to Laudna getting resurrected, because I very much want to hear what he'd have to say to her to coax her soul back to her body.

Anyway! Thank you for popping in, Anon. That's a lovely dream and I severely hope we get to see some cute moments with them in the future.

[serosluv2]

hii! if youre still taking requests could i either get headcanons or drabble for sero x fem!reader who’s quirk is related to healing (and she has angel wings)?

tysm!!! if your requests are closed please ignore this :) <3

★﹒₊‧sero w an angel / healer s/o

< hiii thank i sm for requesting anon!! i did a short little hc and drabble bc i couldn't think of much but i hope you like this ! :)>

angelic.

only work to describe you. not only do you literally look like an angle !! but you using your quirk to help other people is so heroic to him.

he loves to hug you from behind but his arms go around your hips more than your waist

he really likes when y'all are cuddling and you wrap your wings around him too 🥺🥺 he melts. he feels so safe in those moments.

*ok so in this little hc you're not in the hero course but instead you kinda intern under recovery girl some days

he makes sure to get a little tossed around by bakugou on days he knows you work in the nurse office, just to see you.

he literally gets hurt just so you can fix him up. (it's never bad at all !! it's just a couple bits maybe. he mostly exaggerates)

< "come on man! just do it real quick." sero whisper shouted at bakugou. "i'm not going to punch you so you can go see your little girl friend. that's seriously disturbing." sero relaxes in his stance in front of the blonde. "yeah yeah whatever. i'll go ask midoryia, he'll give me a harder punch too" he said too nonchalantly. "THE HELL-"

and that's how sero hanta, a 16 year old man ended up walking proudly to recovery girls office with a nice fresh balck eye. "good afternoon sweetheart!" he says knocking on the frame of the door as he walks in. "hi han- OMFG what happened !!" you almost drop your chart and rush to his side. grabbing his arm and steadily trying to lay him down on the beds. "mmm just a little something something." he replied, smiling like an absolute dork. you sat him up and put on his self made playlist on your phone, at a low volume as you cleaned up any dirt and bacteria that was most likely around his bruise. as you were sobbing his cheek with a red slit across it, you asked him how the hell this happened? "oh yk. just a little uh, miscommunication ? between bakugou and i." you pulled back and gave him a look. "miscommunication, huh? mm" you went back to cleaning and you started bad mouthing this bakugou character, who you've never formally met. "i dont get why you hang around him. he seems like an absolute ass. all i ever hear is how abrasive he his, and-", "no no y/n sweetie," he interupts you. "he's not that bad at all. most of the time we do stuff to get this rise outta him." he closes his eyes, expecting you to go back to icing his wound. "huh... and was this just one of those pranks gone wrong?" you ask rolling your eyes but when you meet sero's apologetic expression, like a child being caught stealing candy, it tells you all you need. "YOU INSTOGATED THIS ! sero honey, you got hurt !! you can't be putting yourself in harms way just to get a couple laughs in" you place your hands over his eye and activate your quirk. after a good two minutes standing there, you let go and his eyes fluttered open. revealing it perfectly healed. "mmm i feel better already" he states with that lovesick smile. "thank you, sweetness." he pulls you in by your waist and pecks your cheek. "yeah yeah, what am i here for" you say rolling your eyes and wrapping your arms around his neck.

[yesimwriting]

Solace (part 2)

SOLACE (part 2)

A part two but kinda works as a stand alone!!

A/n y’all seemed to like the first one so I thought I’d make a part two :)) This was NOT meant to be a series but now I kind of have an idea to make this a mini series where each part is kind of a blurb that connects to the last part and I think I might do that. 

Pairing: General Kirigan/the Darkling x Heartrender! reader

Summary: The day after you go visit General Kirigan at night is also the day he decides he can become more honest about his intentions for you. The softness of it all is starting to get to you but you have a good friend to remind you that it’s okay to feel happy. 

-- 

The sunlight peers into the room shyly. It stirs me awake into a soft bliss. Warmth. When was the last time I woke up feeling so warm? So rested? I squint my eyes open, still calm. But when my vision finally adjusts, I feel like ice all over again. This is not where I’m supposed to be. 

Memories of sneaking here in the darkness of night, speaking to Kirigan so freely, and then letting him convince me to stay. He had seemed to want me here then, in the night when loneliness finds easy prey in even the most hardened individuals...but now, in the morning sunlight--he’ll regret it. We made it clear I’d stay only that night--and that night is now gone. Maybe he expects me to be gone before he rises. I know that’s what most men expect after taking company for the night, but we didn’t exactly partake in activities like that. I think what we did is worse. 

Relations like that are about desire, falling asleep with someone else borders on intimacy. One misstep and who knows what I’ll invoke? I shift my gaze upwards, careful to not move in hopes of not disturbing the arms he’s draped across my back, holding me to him. Kirigan seems different in sleep, softer. His features are still sharp, but there’s something gentle about seeing him vulnerable. Something about the way his lashes brush against his cheeks and his lips stay parted just slightly. This moment can never repeat itself. It can never happen again, so I’ll have to hold onto this. 

Cautiously, I prepare to slip out of his grasp even though it feels like its the only thing tethering me to this world. I touch his first hand, moving it off of me slowly. I wait a second, and when he remains unstirring I move his other hand. 

“What are you so eager for, little wolf?” The raspy, tired quality of his voice leaves my stomach fluttering. His words jar me so much I find myself frozen. 

He reaches lazily, placing an arm on the center of my back, trying to ease me back into place. “It’s morning now.” 

His thumb brushes up and down my back in a way meant to lull me. “I’m the Shadow Summoner, the night lasts as long as I want it to.” He lets out an easy breath, “And I’m prolonging it.” 

Ignoring the warmth the implications of his words bring, I decide to focus on how dramatic he is. “Dramatic even so early in the morning.” 

Kirigan’s eyes flutter open, the slightest smile playing at the edge of his lips. “Watch yourself, little wolf.” There is no malice in his voice, only something hinting at teasing too humane for me to trust. 

I roll my eyes, letting his fingers brush wherever he wants them to--up and down my back, down the arms I am too aware of. The desire to touch him easily, casually, just to prove that I have that privilege. I stretch, pushing down thoughts of rejection as I place a hand on his chest. He pauses, one hand frozen in place on my back. Slowly, he moves his hand away from me. I tense, preparing to retract my hand. He catches my hand before I can pull it away, moving it towards him easily until my hand is against his cheek. 

“Y/n.” He’s called me my name so few times, and the restraint in his voice leaves me unnerved. “Will you wear a black kefta today?” 

His color. Perhaps he meant the promise of solace more literally than I thought. Anyone who sees me will think I’ve been claimed by him in one way or another. Perhaps I have been. The thought stirs my chest, moving me in a way I can’t distinguish as a positive or negative. I feel myself being ensnared in a lovely trap, but when I look at him, at the honesty burning in his gaze, it’s almost as if he’s asking me to claim him. 

“Yes.” Again the word leaves me as if willed by some outside force. 

Kirigan’s intensity dwindles slightly. His hand drops from over mine, but I keep mine on his cheek, running my thumb across his skin. “You’ll do good for me today, little wolf.” His words leave no room for argument. I think speaking like that is a talent of his. “You always do so good for me.” The admiration in his words melt something in me, my entire body warmed in a way I don’t understand. Kirigan brushes his knuckles across my cheek again. 

I’ve been silent for too long, each second I waste inflating his ego. “You’re suspiciously nice in the mornings.” 

“You’re only skeptical because you never let anyone take care of you.” His words are chiding and the implication of them leaves my face warm. “So much promise,” he muses, hand trailing down my jawline, “So much power,” his fingers skim down my neck and across my collarbone. “I wonder what someone like you could do with an amplifier.”

An amplifier. I’ve seen them in use, and knowing what I could do with something that strengthens my already abrasive abilities. I could be a monster so easily. Kirigan must see some of my concern because he’s quick to sit up a little more in order to close the distance between us the way he did last night. He brushes his lips against my collarbone in a way that leaves me distracted by wanting. A wanting for what, I’m not sure. I ease into his touch. 

“Today everyone will know what you are.” His voice is gentle against the base of my neck. “And they will know that we are meant to be equals.” 

I feel the need to panic rise in my chest, but it’s dulled by the warmth his lips leave against my skin. “I’m only a Heartrender, I can’t be your equal.” 

“You are,” he whispers, so assured, “With a heart as good as yours you may even be more.”

His words are too weighted for so early in the morning, but there is always tension with him. Shadows are meant to be weightless but I think they’re like anything else--carry enough of them and eventually you’ll break. 

When he straightens I move to follow him, pressing a quick kiss against his cheek. “You’re good, too.” There has to be goodness in him. No one capable of such warmth and gentleness can be made up entirely of wicked things. 

“You claimed I was a villain.” 

Did my words really impact him so? “My opinion isn’t law.” 

Something strange flickers across his features. “It might as well be.” 

I swallow back a bundle of nerves. “Sometimes I’m wrong.” 

The words crack something vulnerable in me. A part of me thinks he can feel the part of me that’s breaking in hopes of offering him something. 

“You really are my solace.” I don’t know how to reciprocate such a gilded sentiment. 

I rest my head against his shoulder, taking his hand. “I’m glad to be that.” 

He squeezes my hand. “We should go get ready before people start to notice our absence.” 

I consider reminding him what he told me last night, but he has a point. There’s a difference between a rumor of me pacing in the night and both of us showing up late at the same time. Still though, a part of me is already grieving this version of Kirigan. Outside of this room his coldness will return. ‘Just for tonight’. We had agreed on that. But when the night ended, and the morning sun colored us both sane again, he had asked me to wear his color. 

“I’ll go get dressed,” I stay still. 

Kirigan runs his thumb over my knuckles. “I’ll have a black kefta sent to you.”

That has to mean something. Wait--do I want it to mean something? I pull my hand away from his stiffly, standing because I know the longer I’ll wait the worse it will be. “I’ll see you during training.” 

“My door will be unlocked after.” 

At that, my chest swells. He’s offered me an opening. “Good to know.” 

His eyes narrow slightly at my coyness. “Find me after?” 

“Only because you’re nicer in here.” He wants me to come back. 

--

The black kefta does not feel like my own. The color is too alluring, too dark and enthralling. It is not meant for someone like me. It feels borrowed, but I’m not entirely uncomfortable. It’s almost like he’s still with me, keeping me from being alone. 

When I walk down the halls, I feel the stares of the others sticking to me like tar. They barely tolerated me before--the grisha plucked from the slums after a fateful night in which Kirigan saw the extent of my abilities. 

“New clothes, l/n?” 

Julian’s words coax an easy smile from me. Always so open, so accepting. Even now he doesn’t pester me about the black kefta. “I barely noticed.” 

My lack of real response earns me a playful glare. “Is that the only explanation I get? Moving up the ranks without me?” 

I roll my eyes. He’s joking, but he’s drawing more eyes to me. “I’m not leaving you, Julian.” He’s been too good a friend for me to leave. “Nothing’s changed except the color of my clothing.” 

“Good.” Julian’s lips twitch upwards, offering me the kind of smile that’s earned him many trysts with many women. “I’d miss you too much.” 

And while I doubt that my disappearance would do anything else than up his popularity, I appreciate the sentiment. “Oh I’m sure you’d find a way to find company.” 

He half laughs, “What are you implying of my virtue?”

Laughing, I roll my eyes as we continue to walk down the halls. “You’re not as funny as you think you are.” 

Julian reaches for me, touching my forearm. I stall. “In all seriousness, y/n, I really appreciate your friendship.” 

Aw. Never did I think I’d have so many people to appreciate here. I think of Kirigan, of the vulnerability in his words and the new facet of him I saw last night that I somehow always knew he had in him. He may be a villain, or just one in the making, but he is more than a dark shadow. I find myself releasing I appreciate Kirigan too. It’s different than the way I care about Julian, more fragile, but it’s still a relationship I’ve created here. 

I look down at the space where his hand touches my forearm. “I really appreciate your friendship, too. You’ve gotten me through a lot.”

“You need to give yourself some credit.” He releases my arm, turning to continue to walk forward. 

I turn as well, “You should too.”

 I look forward, and there, in the near distance is Kirigan. He’s staring at me, eyes lacking everything he had earlier. I offer him a small smile. He does not return it, his drops slowly to the ground. Weird. I guess he’s just turning on his indifference for a day of training. He asked me to wear his color, he asked me to come back. 

Does he regret it? Maybe it was a premature request for me to wear his color so publicly. His gaze finds mine again, and with a tilt of his head he gestures for me to follow him.

--

General taglist: @theincredibledeadlyviper

[sixstepsaway]

Not to send you into another Izzy rage (unless you want one) but I saw another hideously bad take about Izzy objectifying Ed during the ep10 argument scene? Sigh. Really goes to show the lack of ability to attribute normal human emotions to Izzy. He can't be angrily yelling at Ed because he's angry his friend has had a massive behavior change and is nothing like the man he thought he knew. Izzy must have intentionally hit a vulnerable spot so he would get a sexual thrill from Ed being a sexy dom who chokes men. He didn't gently reach out to touch the face of a man who was finally behaving like his old self out love for his old friend, only creepy lust. And Izzy is such a creepy objectifier! Look how Ed looks uncomfortable and knocks him away. Never mind that Ed choked him against the wall, that's not objectifying so it's okay. Oh, and by the way, tell me if you got my Ask about the first Daddy Dom on the good ship, uh, Big Daddy. It may have disappeared in a tragic Tumblr accident And also if you want me to NOT occasionally send you daddies, say so. Making up lots of boyfriends for Izzy makes me feel better. The poor guy.

Oh, I enjoy my Izzy rages!

Gonna reply to the end of this first, then swing back up: I have two asks from you in my box; Monday and Sunday. If there's more, I don't have more, I just have those two.

I promise I'm not ignoring them and you're not annoying me or anything like that, I enjoy your daddy dom and related asks very much (even though I might not always have a long/deep reply for them, I'm not amazing at replies to more general things than meta) it's just that yesterday was a high stress day for me. I spent the whole day knowing I had to make a phone call at the end of my day (I'm nocturnal, so 9am when places open is the end of my day) and not just any phone call, but I had to call a vet about my duck. Then there was also the incident with the AO3 comment, and I spent most of the day compiling my metas and word counting them (40k) so I could add them to my general word count for the year. With all that, I didn't have a lot of time to reply to more than a few messages! But I'm going to get to your messages today!

And, I don't know if you noticed, but I gave you your own tag on my blog! So I can keep you and your collection of daddies sub-categorized!

Right, moving on to the rest:

I can see what's happening re: Izzy. First, they decided he's homophobic because of the daddy scene and the 'namby pamby' comment (I've also seen people double down on that, despite Izzy being in love with Ed and thusly queer himself. And I do know that queer people can be homophobic and queerphobic, but it does deeply change the angle from which that homophobia or queerphobia is coming, and also I stand by my reasoning that if Izzy was homophobic, Ed would have punted him by now, because he would have shown it around Jack; his issues aren't homophobia, they're "you're not being a proper pirate" or "you're not doing your job", and possibly a perpetuation of a cycle of abuse he received, that he isn't looking at critically enough to realize he's acting like a homophobe at Lucius).

So, the "he's homophobic!" didn't work at shaming fans into hating him, so they levelled it up: he's a racist fetishizer. Another read that, although I can understand people having that read or being uncomfortable with how he acts, it's been pointed out by a black fan, in fact (among others as well), that considering the effort OFMD puts into actively telling racists to go fuck themselves, it would be poor writing on OFMD's part to let Izzy slide the way the show does. It's also worth noting that being rude or abrasive to a person of color does not an instant racist make, it can just be a person-on-person issue. That is actually a thing. Furthermore, which is another thing said in that piece and what I am referencing, the idea that Izzy wants Edward to be violent because he's a man of color, not because he's a pirate is not only laughable but a downright daft read, because everyone on that ship is a pirate and violent. If Ed was the only person of color it might be problematic, but they're all so diverse and such a wonderfully mixed bag it means that Ed being a person of color is not why Izzy wants him to be violent.

And we've discussed at length here why Izzy likely wants Ed to be violent (pirate! safety! protection! vulnerability!) so I won't dig back in here.

When "racist!" and "homophobic!" didn't work, they started saying he was abusive, to which most of us said, "He was a meanie pants and then Edward cut off his toe and fed it to him? That is not Izzy being abusive. If you want to pick someone in that sequence who is abusive, it is most certainly Ed, did we watch the same show? Ed cutting off his toe can't even be labelled as reactive abuse (eg. the victim of abuse gets abused to such an extent they start to strike back, somewhat mimicking their abuser's actions) because it's such a massive escalation from nasty words to outright permanent physical violence."

So now those three things don't work because the arguments either don't hold weight (abusive), would make the show infinitely less good and well put together than it is right now and undermine a lot of the messages (racist), or is undermined itself by Izzy being in love with another man (homophobic), they've moved on to saying he's a fetishizer, because that makes sense, right? Telling us who love him that we're fetishizers didn't work, so they'll tell us that he's the fetishizer.

Lots of people have explained better than I ever could that the word 'fetishize' is being misused at length, but the tl;dr is that fetishizing is very different to 'finding someone attractive' or 'enjoying when they act a certain way'. A fetish is something that is attractive to a person that isn't naturally supposed to be. Finding someone's lips or tits hot isn't a fetish, finding someone's feet hot is, because it's not really meant as a sexual thing. It also doesn't mean it's a bad thing, it's just a term. Fetishizing and sexualizing are both ridiculous terms, especially when they're being applied to one grown adult finding another grown adult attractive or sexy in some way.

It's also weird to read Izzy cupping Ed's cheek with tears in his eyes as sexual rather than romantic or just affectionate. Ed has been a mess for days, and considering Ed was actively discussing suicide in 1x04 when they first boarded the Revenge (something Izzy looks devastated about, by the way, and then tries very hard to put aside as, "Well that makes no fucking sense!" and ignore because how, how, how do you handle something like that? How do you instantly swallow down that the person you love most on this godforsaken Earth is considering dying as a good idea because of the mental instability you've been spending most of your energy trying to stabilize for what seems like it might be years?) and has spent 3 days crying in a blanket fort and seeming completely not himself (and I've seen people say what he's doing is a healthy mechanism for getting over and through a breakup, and I don't disagree, but I do think he's also trying to become Stede and I'm not really sure that's as healthy as the crying and songwriting and letting out his feelings) on top of being apathetic and lethargic and disinterested in everything before they boarded the Revenge, and finally there's a spark, a hint of who he used to be, and Izzy is clutching desperately to it because he wants his person back!!!

Sure, maybe the chokeslam turned him on, but as we've discussed here before: physical reactions are not something we control. You can be turned on by something you are actively disgusted by and do not want in the slightest. Bodies are betrayers when it comes to things like this. Izzy potentially being turned on by being chokeslammed by the person he's most attracted to and in love with isn't shocking and doesn't mean he was, in that moment, lusting after Ed and hoping that being mean to him would lead to them boning against the wall, it just doesn't.

So now we've done racist, homophobic, abusive and fetishizing, I assume the next steps over the next couple of weeks will be firstly that Izzy and Edward have clearly been a twosome for many years, and thusly it's incestuous because they're brother-coded (rather than canonically framed as being married couple coded), and then either because Izzy is historically 16 (much like Stede is historically 29) or because he's short (and frankly I do not know which one is worse), the argument will be we're all horrible people for shipping them, not because Izzy could get hurt but because we're turning Ed into a sex offender.

Can't wait to see that unravel between now and s2!!!

Please continue to send me lots of daddy dom and Izzy asks, I love receiving them and waking up to asks about Izzy makes me unfathomably happy.

[obsessedwvampbois]

𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐃𝐋 𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬

Oh boy so this is gonna make people really mad. I have listened to a total of 52 songs from the Diabolik Lovers franchise (that I could find) and ranked them for the hell of it. For this ranking I will be including all character songs, openings (both anime and game) along with the remixes. I will not be counting solo versions of songs (eg. Gin no bara), soundtrack bgm or the endings themes.

My ranking is based on these things:

how well does the song fit the character/s or game, both in lyrics and aesthetic

the overall production and performance of the song

is the song a bop? would I willingly listen to it again?

Couple of disclaimers: I do not speak Japanese so I will be crediting the translations of each song as I go through them along with any think pieces / essays that I come across. If there is any song I missed, please let me know and I’ll slot it into the rankings, its hard to find one source that has all the songs recorded. Finally, just a reminder because I know I'm gonna make someone mad, this is my list! If you don't like it make your own or ignore mine, I'm only one person and my opinion is not final!

With that in mind, my rankings are below the cut

*Least Best*

These are the songs I will probably never listen to again. I have a few gripes with them that I'll talk about in my explanation.

52. 誓いのカンパネラ (Chikai no Campanella)

Shu, Ayato & Subaru

~translation~

This song is just super underwhelming overall. The guitar is my favourite thing about the song but that's it. There is so much build up for a boring chorus. The lyrics don't have much for me either.

51. 血戦のDies irae (Kessen no Dies irae)

Tsukinami Brothers

~translation~

On the opposite end, this song is so overwhelming. There are so many elements to follow and its hard to keep up. This is the first time I'll bring it up but the volume of the voices is so quiet compared to the backing track, its frustrating. The lyrics is what brings it up a notch as it talks about the day of wrath (dies irae) as the day the founders take over. I was also low key hoping to hear some version of the dies irae song hidden in the background but I couldn't hear any.

50. S.O.S-ΑtoΩ-

Tsukinami Brothers

~translation~

This song just feels so forgettable, I just feel like there isn't much to comment on. There are some interesting lyrics sprinkled out like comparing literal self mutilation to abstinence. Also the actual delivery of 'S ah O ah S ah', I can't take it seriously.

49. Dystopia

Kino

~translation~

This had an interesting start because I hadn't heard anything similar for DL but then after a few lines the tone change was just a nope for me. Again, Kino's voice is super quiet and the constant barrage of all these instruments that don't really gel together its confusing. Overall, it didn't leave much of an impression and I couldn't really visualised DL in the song.

48. 吸愛ラビリンス (Kyūai Labyrinth)

Shu, Ayato & Subaru

~translation~

Praise for the saxophone! Props to that because it shines here and is really the only memorable thing besides that final line of the chorus. The song does give the vibe of the Vandead Carnival with its more playful energy though. The lyrics feel really typical, like there are so many times I read lyrics about drinking blood before I get bored.

47. 極限(UNLIMITED) BLOOD -Remix ver.-

Shu, Ayato & Subaru

~translation w/ original ver.~

I don't think I really need to hear EDM/dubstep and Diabolik Lovers again thanks. It feels super dated and the vocoded singing is a little much for my taste. Good source material and the stripped back vocals at some points is quite nice.

46. 愛しきPain (Itoshiki Pein)

Subaru

~translation~

First off please never let me see Subaru near a fedora again thanks. Overall I felt bored with this song, like its nice, but that it. There are similar sounding songs that just hit home similar themes a lot stronger later on. The best part of this song is the spoken word but it feels weird for Subaru to be singing such a slow song.

45. Luv Apple Juice

Ruki & Azusa

~translation~

Yes, I am counting Ruki's spoken word, its my list. Lyrics are a must read with references to Adam, Eve and Eden throughout. Again, the voices are super quiet and with how fast paced the instrumentals are its annoying. The tempo also backfires because these are two of the more 'chill' characters. The last complaint is that the speed of Ruki's speaking compared to Azusa's singing just isn't right.

44. DIE IS CAST

Kou & Yuma

~translation~

This has to be my least favourite opening to a song, the staccato is just really grating to me. The way I'd describe the chorus is loud, the same note over and over again isn't appealing. The lyrics are an interesting read but nothing feels super important. The highlight of the song is the pre-chorus, thanks production!

43. カレイドナイト (Kaleido Night)

Kanato & Subaru

~translation~

This song is just generic, like overall. The sound, the lyrics, the production. There just wasn't must for me to listen to without zoning out.

*Average*

These songs don't leave too much of a lasting impression on me, but I still enjoy them.

42. 苺の罪 (Ichigo no Tsumi) (strawberry sin)

Reiji

~translation~

First of the generic rock songs! I couldn't really find much in the lyrics of note I think the actual performance of the song is my favourite element here.

41. 真夜中の饗宴( MIDNIGHT PLEASURE) -Remix ver.

Shu, Ayato & Subaru

~translation w/ original~

One the best part of the original is that opening section with the steps, it creates some nice anticipation for the coming song. The chorus this time round feels a little low energy after the hype of the pre-chorus. After watching the actual opening with the remix, I kind of wish they had the voice over, the song is so chill the last chorus could have it to make it feel more grandiose.

40. ZERO

Subaru

~translation~

Second generic rock song, this time it actually suits Subaru's brand! The lyrics do have some hints to Subaru as a character which is better. My sustaining thought is that this sounds like an off brand Arcadia.

39. Bloody★Mayim★Mayim

Sakamaki Brothers

~translation~

This has to have one of the strongest hooks for DL. For how many people sing in the song, it's easy to keep track of and the chemistry between them all is in sync. The main issue is that it feels like its missing some element to make it shine, the lyrics aren't in-depth too which brings it down another peg. The bridge/interlude is the best part though as I can visualise some mini story within the song here.

38. ADDICTED (2) PHANTOM

Ayato

~translation~

This song would be so much higher if I felt like it was more memorable cuz the lyrics here really shine. My interpretation is that this is Ayato questioning where his love stops and his sadistic nature to satiate his desires begin, can he separate the two? He both loves and despises the idea of draining his s/o dry. Another gripe with the song is that its not quite Ayato's aesthetic sonically.

37. Kindan no 666 (Three Six)

Kou & Azusa

~translation~

What puts this song so low is the majority of the instrumental, it takes a backseat here when I feel there could be more added. Props to percussion, drums are great though. After watching the MB opening so many times its hard to not see DL. Lyrics match with this one line here describing Kou in a nutshell:

"Sin spread from mouth to mouth, saying 'I’ll be gentle' pulls the trigger on a casual disaster!"

36. Iolite (アイオライト )

Shu

~translation~

I don't know why the producers associate electro-pop with Shu, I can't really see it much. I think they should have gone full glitch-pop instead considering how the song does a deep dive into his mind and thought process. Again, I think the voice is also quiet here but the instrumentals have some great moments, especially the strings.

35. 常夜KNOW UNDERSKIN

Sakamaki

~translation~

Well this gives Sakamaki vibes, nice guitar! Again, I like how it isn't overwhelming despite the amount of people involved. Lyrics aren't super impactful but super catchy.

34. 冷たい血 (Tsumetai Chi)

Ruki

~translation~

You have to read the lyrics while reading this, please! Its surprisingly wholesome and emotional overall. Again, there is the issue of the voice being way to quiet as the instrumentals swallow him whole after the second clock tick. The delivery is really well timed and production does a great job adding elements that works with the lyrics. There is a subtle echo to the voice that feels super enchanting as he comes to terms with the fact that he has fallen in love. Biggest drawback obviously is that this is just spoken word.

33. KISS♥MARK

Shu

~translation~

This song delves into the more perverse side of Shu, but we haven't really reached the level of Laito (we'll get there). The phone feels a little out of character but it suits that narrative. The straight cut out of music for the intermission was a bit abrasive but the transition back to music makes me forget about that with how slick it is. At least its better than a generic rock song.

32. カモフラージュ (Camouflage)

Shu & Laito

~translation~

What a great match up for subject matter, my interpretation is a denial and inability to accept oneself, ultimately using a mask to hide. So please look up the lyrics for some gems. However, after the 'against the blood' nothing really hit that same point sonically, furthermore its not the most aesthetically fitting for the two characters.

*Great*

These songs I actively enjoy, think about and do listen to occasionally and would recommend you check it out too.

31. >REDRUM<-

Ayato & Subaru

~translation~

This song is full of anagrams in the lyrics, I mean look at the song title. Its super catchy and is hard to forget about. The bridge is the weakest part of this song but it is made up by the distortion of vocals after the final chorus.

30. Fanatic of Night

Sakamaki Brothers

~translation~

Well time to party, talk about a bop and a half! Its just so fun, even though its to exactly DL to me, but that's Lunatic Parade for you. Shout out to the guitarist and percussion once again.

29. Bad Howling

Shu, Ayato & Kou

~translation~

This is super catchy, its nice to hear Kou in the opening song this time round, it spices things up. Theres some really nice elements played with the vocals as they sing over one another that is really well balanced. The biggest peg down is that I don't get super DL vibes and the lyrics aren't the deepest.

28. I.M.I.T.A.T.I.O.N. G.A.M.E

Kino

~translation~

Overall this song is a little generic and doesn't sound like DL but! There is a lot to love here too. Starting off with the performance, I really like the vibrato in his voice and the decent of notes at the end of the chorus is just, yes. It a nice hook and the lyrics are pretty good too. My only other complaint is that the drums mask some smaller elements in the background of the song which would have been nice to hear more in the forefront.

27. 極限(UNLIMITED) BLOOD

Shu, Ayato & Subaru

~translation~

This is where the rankings get pretty hard cuz I wish this was higher but oh well. the dramatic shift from the opening piano to the song is so abrupt but it gets you pumped. The intermission does a good job of changing things up without cutting tension. The lyrics themselves seem to be from the view of the Adam project during more blood and the unquenchable thirst they get in the story.

26. アルカディア (Arcadia)

Ayato

~translation~

Immediately I get Ayato vibes from this song and the rapping does help too with a nice flow that isn't too jarring from the rest of the song. These lyrics are basically Addicted2Phantom on steroids, I can't see anyone else other than Ayato in them.

25. Kekkyoku Night

Ayato

~translation~

Don't know why but the guitar melody just seems like I had heard it before but I can't put my finger on it. The bass is super slick here and I really enjoy it. The vocal distortion at the start of the verse sets a scene for him to hunt down this person and its a narrative choice. The main issue is that I wish there was a little more pizzaz to the chorus.

24. Kaikan DEATH-TRUCTION

Kanato

~translation~

Spoilers but I have placed both a Kanato's songs pretty high up so this was a little bit of a let down after the other two. The main issues here is that I don't really get too much of Kanato in the song and the yelling before the chorus is a little much. This, to me, is a self reflection from Kanato which is a good switch up from his last two songs. Overall, the song is abrasive in a good way that isn't overwhelming and the 8-bit section is my fave.

23. 血濡れた密会 (BLOODY SABBATH)

Laito

~translation~

Oh boy, look these lyrics up for a good time. This song is about his hook up with a women with the song getting progressively darker as it goes on. Nice psycho reference but I don't know if it does much in the end. Really catchy hook and the escalation of the final chorus is just so good. Also I'm just going to leave this line from the song here:

“You wend all out with the rodeo girl play? So then, let’s grind!!!”

22. 幻日理論-Parhelion Logic

Ayato

~translation~

This song is meant to be kind of an open letter to Cordelia and my word these lyrics are haunting. It fits the vibe of Haunted Dark Bridal so well, super strong overall. I just wish there was a stronger performance vocally.

21. 暴言シンドローム (Seiron Syndrome)

Yuma

~translation~

Yuma, to me has some pretty good observation skills and its really highlighted here. The first line just hits the nail on the head in terms of how rough he is both in and out of the bedroom. This song is the best of the 'generic rock' with production being really smooth despite the high energy, it matches him really well. First line:

The pain of your sprained neck won’t subside

20. 蠱惑のParade (Kowaku no Parade)

Reiji & Kanato

~translation~

We got another catchy banger here! This song just screams 'the two of us are here to hunt you down and we won't stop till we get a taste.' I mean this song is super pleasing aesthetically and great lyrics to boot!

19. KILLYOU,AGAIN

Azusa

~translation~

The strings are an immediate attention grabber and its hold it throughout the whole song. Super catchy, and these lyrics are Azusa, especially this chorus. Id be interested to hear what people think about the second verse in particular cuz there's a lot to read into:

"In a worn out state of mind, no matter how many nights we question it... We’ve idealised too much."

18. SQueeze…

Subaru

~translation~

Okay before anything else, the squeeze at the start is goofy, I can't take it seriously. Anyway, I can't help but tap my foot to this song. Third times the charm, finally hitting Subaru's aesthetic to a T. The voice is a little quiet on the track but what takes over just sounds so good. The contrast of the bell and the guitar is just, yes thank you. The pre-chorus is a nice mix up to the status quo and these lyrics are great too.

17. 愛の檻 (Ai no Ori)

Ayato & Laito

~translation~

The opening is a nice tone setter for a haunting head bopper. These voices work together so well, just like how the sirens work with the strings. The singular violin during the bridge is great, praise to anyone who can do that my god. The string motif climaxes at the final chorus and it creates an awesome song!

16. 月蝕(Eclipse)

Kou, Yuma & Azusa

~translation~

Well we have a nice build up ballad here. The opening is a little out of place but I forget about it as it builds to this final chorus with the tempo getting faster and faster. The stripped back production also ends up aiding the song in the end with its punches and message. Speaking of which; I get the idea this is about watching some either currently or in retrospective how their personality changes after turning into a vampire; a loss of innocence. How fitting for the Mukami's.

“Despising the sunlight that filters through the blinds is only inevitable, I suppose”

*Faves*

This is what I think the best of the best is. It reflects the themes, ideas and characters of Diabolik Lovers in the best way possible. When people ask me what music from the franchise to listen to, I point to these songs.

15. Count off

Kino

~translation~

There is so much to talk about here, this is a mix of singing and spoken piece and it works so well for me. The delivery over this contagious beat I can't help but get hints of a k-pop vibe here. The movement to singing then vocoded voice are interesting and fun. The bridge switch up too is great, my only wish is that the choir hand a little more presence in the final chorus cuz its fun the first times round, it would be a nice call back.

14. A Certain Prophet's Fate [とある預言者の、運命 Toaru Yogensha no Unmei]

Reiji

~translation~

I can visualise a Nutella Kookie moodboard with this opening alone. To me, this is Reiji explain his views on women with allusions to Faust too, not the Ikemen version relax. there are some cool allusions to his mother in the lyrics too. The bass is so cool to listen out for and the guitar nodding to the chorus at the end is a nice way to end. I was just hoping for a little continuation to the opening like Reiji finding this person escaping on horseback.

13. CHAOS☆PARTY

Laito

~translation~

Aaaaaand another innuendo song from Laito, what a surprise! The jazzy, circus-pop vibes are super fun and catchy, I love it. It's like an upgraded version of Bloody Sabbath to me. The distortion on the guitar is also great to listen out for.

"Don’t decide where’s the critical point, grind as you feel it,

Till the moon oh, mockingly"

12. Mr.ButterflyMask

Reiji

~translation~

The opening may be cliche but it works so well, this is such a deep dive into Reiji's psyche; his mother, inferiority complex and village burning to name a few. The actual song is easy to remember which makes it even better here, the descending notes at the end of the chorus is a highlight.

"Burnt black, that awful land mark"

11. 真夜中の饗宴 (MIDNIGHT PLEASURE)

Shu, Ayato & Subaru

~translation~

The song to start it all, thank god it's such a highlight. I get so hyped from hearing the opening footsteps; mirroring the prologue with You stepping into the mansion for the first time. I feel so nostalgic for this and I'm hyped to play the game every time I hear this. The spoken section is the high point in terms of the HDB aesthetic but these lyrics maaaannn:

"With a scream that shatters the moon itself I’ll give you this extraordinary pain called “love”!"

10. Guilty×Guilty!!!

Shu, Ayato & Subaru

~translation~

I'm gonna get crucified for putting this above midnight pleasure but my list and this is my fave game op. The only peg down is the lyrics but it makes up so much for the actual sound variation. The unnerving energy from this scifi-y noise, it screams danger with the Tsunami arrival. The variation between the two verses in robs what places it high and the bridge is excellent to boot.

9. Farewell Song

Shu

~translation~

If I had to make one song recommendation outside of DL with this list it is this song here. The lyrics and melody match up the same way and both are strong in their own right. Onto the song, these lyrics really shine wrangling with ideas and the thought process of depression; something that hits close to home for me. With the inclusion of the destructive nature vampires its truely impactful. The sound of the song aids these lyrics too while all sounding like Shu.

Without pause, the drops of a drizzle had begun to weep...

...Comforting the screams of the things you’ve touched"

8. Mr.SADISTIC NIGHT

Shu, Ayato & Subaru

~translation~

This is my favourite opening of all the games and anime and it is the most on theme with the DL franchise, not just the one game. The guitar rifts at the start are just sooooo iconic. The actual line "Mr Sadistic Night" is delivered so well too. I mean the song speaks for itself. I will make the observation though that this song is the epitome of kids unknowingly singing a song with dirty lyrics.

"If I’m so aroused by the snare of your enticing blood

Tonight, as I thrust deep into you, a lust for death awakens from within you!"

7. 悪魔的（Devil's）Spire!!!!

Kou

~translation~

This song is just Kou at his best, I can imagine him singing this at a concert as a debut single. It has all the elements of a catchy pop song with some sinister elements that just reflects his personality. Production has my praise here too. The song seems to be a friends with benefits situation Kou has as he recounts the tale. Also, more innuendos:

"In the deep red velvet sheets, Do you want to taste my forbidden syrup?"

6. Operation X

Tsukinami Brothers

~translation~

Haven't seen these guys in a while! You can tell production had fun adding all these medical sounds in the back like the sirens and heart monitor. The song itself is super catchy too, that bass just hits you at the core! The lyrics look like the Tsukinami's observation of You as she has become entangled with all these vampires and the situation just seems to spiral even more out of control.

"The risk spreads further the deeper you get involved...

...The more you give up, the more that guy mocks you"

5. GRATEFUL★DEAD★MARCH

Kanato

~translation~

Production had fun again, you can tell. It's more upbeat there is still a sinister vibe here. The constant switch ups within the song all flow so well. I feel genuine despair listening to this chorus, like Kanato is mocking or toying with me before going in for the kill. My only complaint is that the slowing down at the end is a bit of a mood killer.

4. 切断★舞踏会 (KIRISAKI CARNIVAL)

Kanato

~translation~

In terms of character aesthetic, this is sheer perfection. There is a narrative within this song that you need to look at the lyrics for the best experience. The sound effects act as a good way to heighten the story as they match the lyrics. One moment to note it both the chorus and pre-chorus as they act as the extreme ends on Kanato's personality and it creates a great dichotomy when placed together.

3. Q.E.D.

laito

~translation~

My favourite solo song, and the one I constantly visit the most. Laito is a complex character and this song does a self reflection in the best way possible.I would also recommend reading this great analysis by everything laito because I can't do a proper analysis justice. For the song itself, the piano is a great mood setter as it acts as if we are approaching Laito as he plays the piano about to go into one of his many monologues to himself. The intercut from the piano to the guitar is abrupt but it works so well as if there are crack in his facade showing through. The change back to the piano is great too and isn't distracting in any way. I also think this is such an emotional performance, like I can feel the sadness and despair along with almost a self deprecating humour to the delivery. Top notch stuff

2. 罠-If You’re Diablo- (Wana -If You’re Diablo-)

Mukami Brothers

~translation~

I want mention first off that the spoken word from Ruki is such an aid here, the pace is slower, more haunting and despair-inducing in tone. The speaking adds a nice break to the vocals. The chorus in particular packs such a punch its kind of nice to lie on the ground and just let the song envelop you. The lyrics give the impression that there is a mutually destructive relationship here with the Mukami's mentioning of betrayal yet they suck the blood of this person. There is also a feeling of hopelessness that the Mukami's know they can never achieve their goal of becoming Adam.

"I'd been resigned to become Adam since who-knows-when...

I continue to hate this fate, my prayers in zero"

1. Gin no Bara

Sakamaki Brothers

~translation~

And we're finally at the end! This song encapsulates everything that Diabolik Lovers is. Vocally, it's really catchy with such a somber vibe, because that's what DL is. It's a dark series but you can see that darkness with each backstory, the actions these characters take and just the overall hopelessness in this one song. The Sakamaki's all singing together packs such a punch too. There are so many gems in these lyrics, to literally acknowledging the pain and suffering their mothers' caused and coming to terms with the actions they have committed as they fall in love.

"The proof remains on your neck while you sleep quietly Even if an eternal curse awaits me beyond those overflowing tears

I now hold this love and pain in my chest"

*SHOUTOUTS*

I want to give a huge shout out to the following people. They have helped immensely with translation and just overall accessibility to the songs because they would be 1000 times more harder to find without them.

Silvermoon249 (Live Journal)

Asyqin98 Creator (YouTube)

S I s o v o l i (Youtube)

DIABOLIK LOVERS (YouTube)

Dialovers otaka (Tumblr)

Starlight voices (Tumblr)

Cannonette (Tumblr) @canonette

The Precious Sugar Chan (Tumblr)

One final note, I would recommend listening to these with headphones because the audio sometimes does that thing where it jumps from ear to ear and it creates the best effect to be more involved in the atmosphere.

[kinktae]

bitchin’ || pt. 10 (FINAL)

The 80s were a time of choices. Which perm was right for you? What color neon would you wear next? None of these choices, however, were more questionable than a certain deal you made with Jeon Jungkook.

pairing: fratboy!jungkook x reader

word count: 5.1k

genre: 1980s au, eventual smut, e2l

warnings: angst

A/N: This fic was inspired by To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before. Thank you to @junqkook for letting me use her likeness! Thank you all for sticking with this story and these characters <3

01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

PART TEN (FINAL) 

Jungkook wasn't looking for you when he finally found you that day on campus. He had just come from the student services building, leaving the meeting with his counselor feeling somewhat content. He had officially changed his major to digital communications and multimedia. He never would have done it if it weren’t for you making him feel like he could, of course.

It had a full week since break had ended, and he felt like he was in hell, knowing you were somewhere nearby on campus, but not knowing whether or not you’d want to see him yet. If ever.

He had just finished buying his lunch and was heading to find a table to sit outside when he finally saw you.

You looked just as lovely as he remembered you, your hair braided prettily with your torso bundled up tight in your oversized jacket. You always hated the cold weather, he remembered.

You weren’t by yourself, though, Yara and Taehyung sat with you, laughing amongst themselves. The three of you together looked so normal that before he could stop himself; he found himself walking over to your table, his heart in his throat.

“Hey, guys.”

All conversation came to a halt, the three students turning to face the cautious frat boy, looking familiar yet different all the same.

Jungkook’s words sung awkwardly in the air for a moment as Yara and Taehyung exchanged a quick look. You didn’t need to see Jungkook to know the words had come from him. You recognized the soft timbre of his voice immediately, your eyes locking down on the denim material of your jeans.

Fuck.

For a moment, Jungkook worried that his greeting might go by ignored altogether. The idea made him feel sick, that he had lost the three most important people to him within three weeks.

Taehyung broke away from Yara’s stare, thankfully flashing a genuine smile at him, “Sup, JK. Long time no see. How was your break?”

You let yourself steal a glance at Jungkook as Taehyung sat up and offered him a hug, which he returned gratefully.

You were surprised. His hair was no longer shaggy and long like you remembered it. Instead, it had been freshly cut, looking healthy and neatly styled for the first time since you met Jungkook.

But despite his clean look, there was something off about him. Something that made you feel guilty.

“It was fine.” Jungkook responded halfheartedly, eyes flickering over to you experimentally. You were the whole reason he had come over after all. His stomach sank as he found your eyes jerking away from him, directing your attention to anywhere but him.

“Take a seat, man.” Taehyung invited, ignored the deadly glare being drilled into the side of his face by your best friend.

Jungkook contemplated for a moment, but nodded, joining the table hesitantly.

“Hey, Yara.” He began politely, blatantly aware of the way the girl in question was looking at him as if he were the gum on her shoe that she had stepped in.

“Jockstrap.” The petite girl acknowledged him dryly.

You could feel his attention shift over to you.

God, please don’t.

“Y/N.” His voice was soft and apologetic, and you wanted to scream. You’d be lying if you hadn’t been toying with the idea of possibly meeting up with him once back in school, but as he sat across from you; looking at you as if you were the only person in this room, you felt yourself begin to panic.

Yara could feel the way you had tensed beside her, every alarm in her protective best friend system going off. She turned to you immediately.

“So, Y/N, you never finished your story. How was Erik?” She began casually as if the two of you had been discussing this topic before Jungkook arrived.

“Um...” You blinked, confused at the sudden change of conversation by your scheming best friend.

“Was it weird to catch up with him after all this time?” She continued, words loud and clear as her lips wrapping around the straw of her drink.

“Oh, um...” you caught on, mind racing as you caught Jungkook’s eyes widening at Yara’s words from the corner of your eye.

You knew exactly what your best friend was trying to do. She knew how Jungkook felt about your ex and was using that against him. Two weeks ago, you would’ve gladly rubbed Erik in Jungkook’s face, but after weeks of contemplation, you just felt crummy.

“Erik as in… you ex-fiancé Erik?” You heard Jungkook speak up finally, not even bothering to hide the disbelief in his tone.

And then, you made the mistake of meeting his eyes. All the nerve you could have possibly called upon at that moment dissipating the moment you saw the disquiet confusion in his eyes.

“I, um…”

He didn’t have to say a word. You knew exactly how he felt, his face said it all.

“...have to go.” You finished weakly, chair dragging against the tile floor as you stood up abruptly.

Jungkook was the next up on his feet, “Y/N.”

Any effort he had planned on going after you was halted by an angry-looking Yara, who was throwing her bag over her shoulder as she hurried after you.

“Back off, shit head.” She scowled as she jogged off, leaving Jungkook feeling terrible, sinking back into his seat with a defeated breath.

Taehyung couldn’t help but stare at his best friend with pity. And as much as he wanted to offer some words of comfort, he had none, caught in between friends.

“Fries?” He finally spoke up, a sheepish smile on his handsome face.

Jungkook turned to face his brother slowly, eyes falling on the tray of the potato treat on the table before reaching for one, offering Taehyung a grateful smile that didn’t seem to reach his eyes.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Jungkook had no idea what he was doing. In fact, standing in front of the dorm door of two girls who he knew most definitely hated him had him feeling like a real tool.

Of course, Jungkook wanted everything to go back to the way it was, with you and him still spending every second together and with Yara as your abrasive, but supportive cheerleader. But he had given up on the idea after the first 15 unanswered phone calls. He had given up on you ever returning his feelings, and that wasn’t why he was here.

As he rapped his knuckles against the door, he knew that he had come to apologize. You were owed at least that much. If you listened, he would tell you how sorry he was and just how much he would take it all back if he could. How he didn’t want to keep bothering you, but couldn’t leave you alone until you got the apology you deserved.

All courage seeped out of him, however, the second he was met with a tiny stature and auburn hair, the scarier of the dorm’s residents answering the door. Meaning he had seconds to get his point across before Yara shut the door in his face.

“I know you don’t want to talk to me right now—”

To his surprise, however, the scary girl walked out into the hall to face him, shutting the dorm door behind her.

Jungkook took a step back as a precaution, knowing better than to piss off an already angry Yara.

“Oh no, I’ve got loads to say to you, actually." Yara said once she was sure the door was closed, her voice low and hard. "Like how you’re a jerk. A tool. A coward. Not to mention a total scumbag–”

Jungkook nodded, interrupting her without thinking, "I know, and I–"

"Oh, I'm not done!” She huffed, and the meathead fell quiet. “A fool. A buffoon. A pathetic excuse for a man. A lecherous ape. A salacious, prurient degenerate!"

Jungkook flinched at Yara’s words. And what colorful words they were too. She was making good use of that English degree, he supposed.

A few silent, tense moments ticked by, neither of them saying a word.

"Anything else?" Jungkook offered, rubbing at the back of his neck nervously. Yara glared at him, arms crossed over her chest defensively.

"...Bedswerver."

He blinked, "Is that even a word?"

"I dunno, I read it in Shakespeare's Winter's Tale the other day. Just felt right, not gonna lie." She shrugged passively.

"Well... I guess I deserved that."

"You think?" She scoffed, clearly still heated. “You’ve been fooling around with Y/N all this time like it’s nothing, and at the first chance, you fuck your ex… only to sleep with Y/N again immediately after! Do you realize what a fucking douche move that is? To both Y/N and Kiri?”

Jungkook could feel his cheeks turning red, very much feeling like a child getting reprimanded by their parent. A child who was undoubtedly in the wrong.

“You're right. I fucked up. Majorly. And I know we can't ever go back to the way we were, that's not why I’m here. I hurt her. She deserves so much – far more than I could ever give her – but at least this... at least I can give her the apology she deserves."

Yara pressed her lips together, letting out a huff if agreement, “I'm surprised your itty bitty, underdeveloped, primitive ant-brain could figure that much out."

Jungkook frowned. She really was laying on the insults thick, wasn’t she?

“Ok, fine, sorry, I'm done now.” She sighed, arms coming back to her sides.

Of course, she was pissed. This entire situation was so entirely frustrating. From the moment those two had shook hands, it was evident that their relationship was heading down a path that neither of them was ready for.

Staring down the dark-haired boy, Yara wondered if this all could have been avoided if these two boneheads were just honest with one another from the beginning. But no, instead, feelings went left unsaid, and her best friend got dirty dicked in the process.

Relationships – even fake ones – were way too much drama for Yara.

Jungkook had remained quiet for now, allowing the door keeper to stare him down, trying to decipher his sincerity in his intentions. She let out a hum.

“You have 15 minutes.”

Jungkook felt his shoulders relax.

“She’s in the living room. I’ll be standing out here the entire time, and if I hear you as so much as raise your voice even a single decibel, I will rip off your dick.”

Of course Yara was going to let Jungkook in; she knew there was a lot still needed to be said between the two of them, and Y/N deserved a chance to speak her mind as well. Besides, Y/N had been rambling all week about reaching out to Jungkook herself. It was the closure both of them needed, and she wasn’t bitter enough to deny him that opportunity. She was just currently enjoying the way he squirmed under her stare.

“Thank you, Yara.”

“I'm serious. You will be penis-less. You'll go crying to the doctors to try and reattach it, but it'll be all in vain as I'll have ripped it to shreds by the time you reach them, way past the point of reconstruction. Do you understand?" She deadpanned.

Jungkook swallowed, head nodding rapidly, "I understand.”

Letting out a sigh, Yara stepped aside, clearing the path to the door.

“Don't fuck this up, jockstrap." She warned, an unexpected softness in her tone.

Holding her stare for a moment, he sent her one final grateful nod, reaching out and pushing the door open.

Entering the dorm, there was a weird sense of melancholy to the space. What once was a place where he spent most of his time, now just felt like an unfamiliar dorm– one in which he wasn’t particularly welcomed.

"Y/N?”

You weren’t propped up on the couch like he had expected you to be. In fact, as Jungkook scanned the space, he realized you weren’t in the common area at all.

Were you in your room? He wasn’t exactly sure how comfortable he felt walking into your room without your permission, given the current circumstances.

Whatever inner debate he was having, however, stopped off quickly as he took note of the light coming from within the shot door of the bathroom. And most notably, the shadow of two feet from underneath the door.

You had panicked.

Naturally, at the sound of Jungkook’s voice, you scurried over to press your ear to the door, hung on his and Yara’s every word. When you heard that he was coming in, you were sent scrambling for a place to hide. The bathroom was merely the best you could do with such a short time frame.

You cursed internally as his footsteps neared your way, stopping once he had reached the locked door. 

"I know you're in there."

You tutted, “So? Am I not allowed to use the bathroom in my own dorm?"

"You aren't using the bathroom." His voice called out from the other side of the door.

"Yes, I am."

"No, you're not. You’re pee shy and there is no way you'd be using the restroom with me in the room."

You grimaced. In all the time you had spent with Jungkook, you had timed all your bathroom activities skillfully so that there was no chance he could hear you. This bathroom habit wasn’t only with him. Even Yara had to be tucked away in her room for you to pee comfortably. It was an odd, insignificant quirk of yours and frankly, a stupid thing for him to remember.

“Please… can we talk?”

“Just leave me alone, Jungkook.” You leaned your back into the door, voice void of emotion.

“I can't. Not with how we left things.” He placed a hand against the door, wishing it was your face he was holding instead. “You’re my best friend, Y/N.”

Bitterly, you thought back when Jungkook had called Kiri his best friend the night the two of you first slept together. One way or another, it always seemed to come back to her. 

God, did it piss you off.

Angry now, you pushed yourself off the door, turning to face it as you imagining it was Jungkook's stupid face your eyes were burrowing into.

“You said Kiri came over asking for you back, yet you still came over and slept with me the next day. Even though the two of you had sex the night before. Do you understand how that makes me feel?”

“I’m—”

“Like garbage!" You emphasized, the white paint of the door somehow irritating you further. "I felt like I was something you threw away and picked back up whenever you felt like getting your dick wet.”

Your chest was rising and falling rapidly, and you tried your hardest to not let your emotions get the best of you.

“Not to mention to everyone else, it looks like you cheated on me. Which makes me look like a fucking idiot." You scoffed.

Jungkook said nothing in reply, which somehow made it easier to say all you should have said that day in your room.

“It just sucks to realize that someone you once cared about sees you as nothing more than a toy. It fucking sucks.”

Your words were small now, clearly hurt, and it made Jungkook’s heart sink.

“Fuck, Y/N, you’re right, you’re totally right. It was fucked upand gross and disrespectful, and I'm so fucking sorry I did that to you. I’m so sorry I hurt you like that. Y/N, you’re not just a toy to me. You’re more. You are so much fucking more.”

“...Why did you sleep with her?” You muttered pathetically, selfishly wanting to know.

Jungkook pressed his lips together. He had been asking himself that very question every day since he did it.

"I just... I thought it was what I wanted. It was what I was supposed to want.” His eyebrows furrowed. "The entire time, I kept telling myself... This is it. I got what I wanted. Y/N was right. We're both gonna be happy now. But that’s not what happened. And that scared me."

God, how he wished he could see you right now.

"I didn't come over the next day to sleep with you. I just saw you... that was not... my head went blank and– ah, fuck, I practiced what I was gonna say on the way here. What am I even saying right now?" Jungkook groaned out to himself suddenly, hands entangling themselves in his hair.

How was he supposed to tell you that the second you opened that door that morning, all logical thinking stopped, and all he could think about was the fact how much he had missed you last night and how badly he needed to feel your lips again to forget hers. How he lost himself in the way you felt and tasted wasn't strong enough to stop himself.

In fact, he had nearly forgotten all about his terrible mistake when you suddenly brought up spending Christmas together, realization sinking over him. Of course, he wanted to spend it together, but there was no way he could lie to you for any longer. No way he could meet your parents after what he had done.

There was no sugarcoating it. He really was pathetic. And there is no easy way to tell you that.

"Why are you here? Honestly, Jungkook, what do you want from me?" Your words rang out suddenly, taking Jungkook by surprise.

What did he want from you?

What didn't he want from you? He wanted all of you. He wanted to tell you that you were the only thing he thought about all winter break. How you could take his heart and do whatever you deemed fit with it. That you had him wrapped around your finger, and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it.

But none of that mattered now.

"I know we can never go back to how we were before. What we had is ruined and that's because of me. I just wanted to apologize for ever making you feel like all I ever wanted was sex from you. I'm so fucking sorry."

You had your hands buried in your palms, wishing this wasn’t all so hard. That you had just broken the contract off the second you realized you had real feelings for him.

"The night at the roller rink, you told me that if I love something and it inspires me then I should go after it, right?”

Lifting your head from your hands, you frowned at Jungkook’s words.

Your roller skating date? God, that felt like ages ago...

“Yeah. So?”

“S-So, um–" Jungkook stuttered, ears turning red as he contemplated his next words, "so, for me... you're that something. And I couldn't just let you go with at least letting you know how sorry I was. Fuck, that was so lame, sorry, I probably sound like such a wastoid right now."

You wanted to cry, not because you weren’t happy but because you were so tired of hating Jungkook and pretending like you didn't just want to run back to him. You had spent the last three weeks rejecting his calls yet wondering all the same what he was doing. Your heart and mind were in constant paradox, torn between wanting him back and wanting him to know just how much he had hurt you.

Your mind ultimately won the battle, of course, but as Jungkook stood just a few inches of drywood apart pouring his heart out, it was hard to say which major organ was responsible for your next words.

The creak of the door being pushed open sent Jungkook's eyes wide, revealing your hesitant form. You had your arms crossed over your chest as if to guard the contents inside of it.

You looked like an angel underneath the bathroom's blue fluorescent lights, beautiful and lovely, a stark contrast from your next crushing sentence.

“I slept with Erik.”

You weren’t expecting the news to go over well with him, but what you weren’t expecting was the way Jungkook’s face fell entirely slack as if he had just witnessed his world fall in front of him.

You weren’t exactly proud of what you had done. You and Erik had gone out for dinner, admittedly enjoying each other’s company and catching up on all the years you spent apart. You didn’t have plans on sleeping with Erik when you first called him up. Honestly, it was Jungkook’s name being continuously brought up during the car ride home that spurred on the impulsive decision to kiss Erik, just to get him to shut up really. But more than that, you knew precisely where kissing him would lead.

As always, Erik was predictable, and he fed into your request without question, and you felt terrible about it. It was a mistake at worst and a distraction at best.

Hardly even a distraction, as Jungkook was inescapable. He was in the back of your mind the entire time, looking at you with sad doe eyes that you were trying your hardest to ignore.

Even as you slipped back on your shirt when the deed was done, code brown starting to set in as the reality of what you had done hit you, you couldn’t escape him, as Erik wished you well and that he hoped things between the frat boy and you worked out.

Needless to say, you spent the rest of you break absolutely miserable — hating yourself using Erik in the same way Jungkook had used you.

The sound of Jungkook swallowing dryly brought you back from your thoughts. “Did you… I mean, are you two back together?”

He placed a hand into the front of his jean’s pocket as you contemplated your next words.

He continued on, “If… if he makes you happy..."

A gross feeling washed over you, watching as the boy you loved tried to hide the way his breath was trembling. You bit down on your bottom lip.

“When Erik and I…” you paused as you watched Jungkook’s expression fall further, “I was expecting it to be all intense and emotional. Because I once loved him.”

You frowned, the memory still somewhat fresh, “But I wasn’t. It felt foreign and detached and—”

“Wrong.” Jungkook finished for you, a melancholic shine in his eyes. You nodded.

“I didn’t understand at first. I have been having casual sex with you for all this time, but it felt nothing like that.”

“I know exactly what you mean.” He breathed.

You turned away from him a moment, trying to grab hold of your wit before you could once again flee from the scene, leaving your meathead ex fake boyfriend in your dust.

"I'm not saying what you did was justifiable, because it's not, but... I guess I'm not exactly in any position to not forgive you. Because I used Erik to forget about you. And it felt horrible."

"What are you saying?" Jungkook didn’t know what to make of what your cautious words.

Turning back towards him, you held his stare with certainty.

"I'm saying that... I forgive you."

A sharp breath came tumbling out of the boy’s mouth, eyes growing wide as he tried to make sense of how he had ever earned your forgiveness after what he had done to you.

He took a step towards you instinctively, only to be stopped as you held out a hand to halt him.

“I need you to understand something.” Your arms tightened around yourself, growing shaky. “I don’t need you. I had a life before you, and I know I'll have one after you.”

Jungkook nodded at you, despite how much it hurt him. He understood. You had given him forgiveness; he wasn’t owed anything more.

All you had to do was say the word, and he’d be out of your hair forever. He’d do anything you’d ask him to, despite the way every part of him was screaming for you.

“I don’t need you… but I don’t think I want a life without you.” You finished shyly.

Your eyes were locked with his when suddenly a small noise escaped him, eyes pulling away from yours as his head moved to attempt to hide the way his eyes had grown wet.

At the sight of a tear rolling down the side of his face, you were by his side, hands gripping his jacket worriedly.

"Wha– Why are you crying?!" You panicked, never having dealt with a crying meathead before. This was uncharted territory.

"Fuck, I'm sorry. I just..." your heart lurched at his broken tone, watching as he wiped at his cheeks with the back of his hands. "Didn't think I'd ever see you again after this. I missed you so much. I'm so fucking sorry for hurting you."

“I missed you, too.” You cooed softly, tugging at his jacket so that he’d face you again.

And suddenly, the sound of paper hitting the floor rang out, the two of you pulling back to look at what had come tumbling out of Jungkook’s pocket.

“What’s that?” You asked innocently, not seeing the way his cheeks had gone pink.

“N-Nothing.” He was quick to reach for it, cursing lowly as you beat him to it, taking the crumpled up paper in your hands.

He watched miserably as you pried it back open, scanning through the paper in confusion.

“Jungkook… What is this?” You muttered.

Jungkook’s face was positively burning, time moving slowly as he realized what was about to happen.

“I, um, wrote it one night when I couldn’t sleep... I forgot I put it in this jacket. I meant to throw it away.”

Your face held an expression of uncertainty, as if unsure how to proceed. It was undoubtedly addressed to you, an affectionate “Nerd” up on the top.

So you opened the paper further, flatting it out with your hands as you began to read.

“Do you mean what you wrote?” You finally spoke, voice wavering.

Jungkook wished he could disappear into the floor right now. Never in this wildest dreams did he imagine a scenario where you would find out about his feelings for you through a sappy love note he had written when he was moping around late one night.

“Yeah, I do.” He told you honestly, your heart skipping several beats.

In that case, it was time you were honest as well.

“You're right when you say things can't go back to the way things were.” You began, cheeks warm. “Not because you ruined it but because I'm not putting myself through that again. I'm sick of half-assing shit and tired of lying to you and to myself. I know what I want, and it's you… not because I have something to prove, not because I want to make Kiri jealous but because of the sole reason that you make me happy." Your strong facade began to crumble as insecurity began to suddenly sink in. “But if you don’t want that, if you don’t want something real... then nevermind, I guess.”

And all at once, Jungkook realized that all this time it hadn’t been just him.

Two arms made their way around you, and suddenly, you were engulfed in warmth, Jungkook’s close proximity pulling a wave of emotions out of you.

“I love you, nerd. I don't why it took me so long to realize that, but I know without a doubt that you are it for me. Nothing could change the way I feel about you.”

And finally, you let out a cry, breaking down all the walls you had built up to keep Jungkook from perceiving you as weak. Because maybe you were. Maybe you were weak for this boy, but as you buried your wet face into his chest, you no longer cared, the weight of everything you had felt these past three weeks crushing down on you.

“I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” Jungkook cooed softly, chin coming up to rest upon your head.

"I love you, too." Was your weepy reply.

Jungkook’s eyes fluttered shut, tears rolling down his cheeks as he pressed a kiss into your head, wanting nothing more than to stay like this with you forever.

"Are you two dorks done crying?" Yara’s voice rang out suddenly, causing both of you to jump apart.

"Yara, you creep! Privacy, dude! Ever try knocking?" You sniffed, wiping at your face hurriedly.

How long had she been standing there?

"What? Like you were peeing with Jungkook in the bathroom? Please." She waved you off, walking back into the living room to give you two some privacy. She did say Jungkook had 15 minutes before she’d have to come back in after all. "Anyway, Tae will be over in 10 minutes for the Saved By The Bell marathon that’s on so you guys are more than welcomed to join." She called out from her newly seated position on the couch.

"Sure, whatever..." You huffed back, flashing Jungkook an exasperated look. So much for that special moment.

Jungkook didn’t seem too bothered though, the fullest, most boyish grin on his lips, taking in the puffy-eyed girl in front of him that he could now with full confidence call his.

And that girl couldn’t help but smile back at him just as stupidly because for once, there was nothing fake about your boyfriend.

"How is it that a piece of paper is the start of both our real and fake relationship?" He mused suddenly, hands reaching to take yours. You hummed, taking in the way your fingers intertwined.

“Funnily enough, we broke, like, every rule of our contract." You quirked up a brow.

“You know…” Jungkook began, flashing you a mischievous look, “it states very clearly on the bottom that the contract will be terminated upon completion. We can’t terminate the contract if we never completed it.”

“What are you saying? We keep the contract going?” You laughed.

“I’m saying that you are contractually stuck with me.”

“That contract is in desperate need of some amendments.” You rolled your eyes.

“Yeah? And what did you have in mind?” His hands found your waist, pulling you into him.

“Rule number one has gotta go. The one kiss policy just won’t slide with me.”

Jungkook let out a laugh, his palm finding your cheek, eyes locked on your lips. You were preening for his kiss, mouth parting slightly as you anticipated it.

“Partners?”

The question took you by surprise, eyes widening at your not so pretend lover.

Idiot.

“Partners.” You smiled softly, eyes shiny and brimming with tears as he kissed you for what must have been the millionth time, but still somehow felt like the first.

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And just like that, bitchin’ is over :’( thank u all for ur support, seriously I was not expecting this kind of response (consistent too!) to this story and I'm so beyond grateful and I hope you all know I never take your engagement for granted. thank you for letting me share my stories <3

[ellana-ravenwood]

“You are not hard to love” - Bruce Wayne x Fem!Reader

Something very VERY quick, that I suddenly felt compelled to write, once again in the middle of the night. I didn’t plan on writing it, but here we are. This is for anyone who ever felt like they were “hard to love”. You’re not. You just haven’t found the right person...Anyway, here. For you : 

__________________________________________________

To be “hard to love” is a character flaw Bruce always felt he had. 

It was actually hard, to exist with this knowledge, no matter how little he tried to make himself feel. Or not feel, for that matter. 

As “Brucie Wayne”, a lot of people liked him, and the rest hated him for being so arrogant and smug. There were no inbetween. 

Many people judged him to be just another idiot with a lot of money. They hated his guts. Or they admired him for his self-confidence. Still thinking, though, that he was a bit of a dunce. 

It was fine. He wanted them to think that of him. To see him for someone he really wasn’t. So it’d blur the line, so they’d never guess who the Batman really was. 

As a result, it was difficult, to love, truly love, “Brucie Wayne”. Then again, he wouldn’t want anyone to love him for what he wasn’t. This public persona of him, would never know real love. It was fine. 

But his real self. His real self. 

Batman. 

Was probably the number one reason Bruce felt he was so hard to love... 

Who would want to put up with this shit ? Who, in their right mind, would want to love a man like him ? Bruce knew himself very well. Unfortunately. 

Sometimes, even him couldn’t stand himself. 

He knew he could be abrasive, arrogant, self-important, cold, too focus on a task at hand to care about anyone’s feelings etc etc...He knew that his real self, the one he showed more with his Batman side, wasn’t very likable. 

He found it hard, to connect to others. It was hard to stay connected anyway, when he was always stuck in his own head. 

He knew himself very well. He did. He knew how he was, and he couldn’t possibly see anyone putting up with it, and loving him. 

He didn't even like himself very much...

Every single time he fell in love, things didn’t end well. Because he’s too high maintenance. Because it’s hard to keep up with him and his moods...even for someone like Selina Kyle. 

Even she, whom he felt understood him more than anyone he met before, got tired of his games. Ah, but she was also too fiercely independent for what he wanted. Mmm...But who was he fooling ? He knew she’d never stay too long with him, not only because she was independent, but because he was too difficult to be with. 

And it hurt. It really did. 

Because deep down, what Bruce really wanted...It’s love. Real love. True love. Unconditional love. As stupid as it might sound, to anyone knowing him. Ah but, if you truly knew him, it all made sense. 

He would never admit it, not even to himself, but his fear of being completely abandoned ran deep. And his want of finding someone who would accept him for who he truly was was even deeper. 

But he was hard to love. 

Who could ever put themselves through the ringer like that, and love someone like Bruce Wayne ? Like...Like Batman ? 

And then...then you came in. 

************

He still thought he was hard to love. Difficult to be with. 

Your relationship, at that time, was somewhat new. It hadn’t been serious for long. But serious it was, in Bruce’s eyes, at least. 

Ah but he kept thinking he was too hard to love. That you would leave for sure, once you would realize it. His insecurities got the best of him often, even as he tried to ignore them and just enjoy what he had for the time being. 

Up until...

It happened shortly after his first real fight with you. He had one of his “dark day” (which he didn’t have much anymore), where he would be ultra-focus on his Batman work, and be a jerk to any outside distraction. 

Except you would have none of it, as you were trying to tell him something important. And thus, the fight began. 

And he shut down. Put up walls, once again, between him and you. Because that’s what he did. And it made everything worst, of course. 

He couldn’t stand the flood of feelings that came from being too emotional. Angry because of the fight, sad too, and absolutely terrified he might lose you if you guys fought enough for you to realize he’s just...Too hard to love. 

So he suppressed his emotions. As usual. It was much easier for him to give you the silent treatment than go through the pain of talking it out. It was too overwhelming for him, he wasn’t good at the whole “feeling things”. 

He was too afraid he’d say something he would dearly regret. He knew it was healthier, to talk it out. But he just couldn’t. He couldn’t deal with those emotions. And so he shut you out, you got frustrated, and then Dick tried to...

The sweet little boy tried to get you two to talk, to calm down, and Bruce snapped at him. He didn’t meant to. He instantly regretted it. But he did.

Which was the last straw that broke the camel back for you. You told him to “go to hell”, took Dick’s hand (who looked absolutely crestfallen, just remembering his facial expression made Bruce’s heart hurt), and left. 

Bruce felt like this was it. He just ruined the one good thing in his life. 

The one thing that, after years of being stuck in the dark, brought him light. 

You, and his newly adopted son. 

Lights of his life. 

He needed you two. But he understood if you decided to go...He was too hard to love. He would let you go, if it meant you’d be happier (what a fool). 

He was too much, too much. 

For hours, hours and hours, he beat himself down for it. Stuck in his own head once again. Hating himself. 

Sitting alone in front of the batcomputer, barely paying attention to what is scrolling on the screen...Bruce felt like shit. 

Why ? Why did he have to be like that ?

Why couldn’t he...be someone who was easy to love ? Who wasn’t a constant challenge to everyone around him ? 

Yes. That’s it. He was a challenge. A challenge who could’nt-

Footsteps. Taking him out of this darkness spiraling downward and downward. 

And it’s you. You’re right there. Looking at him critically, and he’s sure...

He’s sure you came to break up with him. That he shut you out one too many times. That him being a jerk to little Dickie was too much. That-

“There’s-”

He couldn’t. He couldn’t hear you say it. So he cuts you off, with words that made his heart bleed : 

“I know, we’re done.”

“Excuse me ?”

He can’t look at you. Can’t bear it. He turns around, and continues, trying to sound as neutral as possible, trying to not let his voice crack, going right to the point, as fast as possible, so he can keep it up : 

“I went too far. Too many times. You’ve...had enough of me. I understand.” 

“What ?” 

In your voice, he can hear surprise. Ah. You were too nice to realize that one day, it would come to this. That one day, you were doomed to leave him because he was too much. 

You were too...good for him, to him. Too good to realize he knew it all along. 

And so here you were, surprised he figured it out. Surprised he knew, before you told him, that you were leaving him. 

“I know I’m hard to love. I do. And you-”

“Wait wait wait, uh ? You think I’m gonna bail out because you were a jerk ? You think you’re too hard to love ? Oh Bruce...”

There’s a short pause, as if you’re searching for your words. 

He looks up at you, feeling a dash of hope invade his heart. He tries to fight it, but he can’t. Because...Because...Finally, you say : 

“Bruce. When we started this, when it became serious, when I decided to jump in your life and in Dick’s...I knew what I was getting myself into. I know you enough. I know the Batman side of you. I know you have moments you’re just...you’re just too stuck in your own head, and in your pain. I know.” 

You put a soft hand on his cheek, forcing him to look at you by raising his head. 

“I know what you think of yourself. And I know what others think of you. You’re arrogant, cold, unforgiving blahblahblah insert many more words saying how difficult it is for you to show your true self and emotions. But...But I also know that’s not all there is to you. I know you, and others, are wrong about you. Too hard on you. I know you.” 

You take a step closer to him, and lay your forehead against his. 

“I know you’re funny, like, seriously hilarious. No one ever made me laugh like you. I know you care, sometimes too much, and it’s why things are so hard for you many times. I know you’re actually a great dad, no matter what you think. I know many admire you, you’re truly amazing. You’re smart, caring, loving...I know that it’s hard for you to open up, to love...but when you do, when you do...You love really hard, Bruce. Fully, intensely, passionately, with your entire being. I never felt so loved, than when you hold me. When you-”

There’s a short pause, and Bruce realizes it’s because you’re blushing and have to regain control of yourself again. It doesn’t surprise him. What you’re saying right now, makes his heart beat a hundred time faster, and he can feel his face burning. 

Only you, ever made him blush so...

You take a deep breath, and say : 

“All my life Bruce. All my life I felt I was hard to love.” 

At this, Bruce can’t help but scoff, and he’s about to say something but you cut him off sternly : 

“I’m not done, mister. As I was saying, my entire life, I too, felt like I was hard to love. But when I met you...When I met you, I realized I felt that way because the people around me always made me feel like that. Always made it sound like it was a chore, to put up with me. That they could love me without making any compromises, while I had to change completely for them. Because I was too “difficult” you know ? Because sometimes, I too would have mood swings, or a need to be alone, or...just things that are not considered normal. That are associated with being hard to love. And I was surrounded with people who made me feel bad about this. Who made me feel like I had to change to be normal, and to finally have love.” 

Your arms snake around his shoulders now, and you hold him tight against your chest, kissing the top of his head. 

“You made me realize, Bruce, my Bruce, that...That I’m not actually hard to love. That I was just surrounded with people who weren’t willing to make the effort for me. Which is fine. No-one has to put up with anything if they don’t want to. But...Nobody is hard to love. They just never found the right person. The one willing to fight for them. It’s what you made me realize.”

He holds you back now. With all his might. What is this stinging feeling in his eyes ? 

“I love you. Unconditionally. I know who you are. And I want to fight for you. I will always fight for you. I’m not promising that I’ll never grow frustrated, and yell at you back, to then storm off. I’m not saying we’ll never fight. I’m just saying...It doesn’t matter. Because I love you. And I’ll always find my way back to you.” 

In your eyes, he can see it, there’s a strong light shining. 

One that proves him you love him. Deeply, and unconditionally. 

One that led him out of a dark pass many times before. 

One that proved...That proved maybe, he wasn’t that hard to love. 

Not when he finally found the right one. 

He couldn’t believe you ever thought YOU were hard to love. Ah. Has anyone in the world ever been as perfect for each other as you two were ?

“I love you.” 

He says. His entire being, all his emotions, poured in those three little words. 

“I love you too Bruce. And believe me, saying those words to you ? It’s very easy.”

His arms around you tightens even more. And then you add : 

“Now that this is out of the way...We can talk more about this later, but for now, there’s more pressing matters at hands. I actually came down here to ask if...if you wanted some ice cream ? Dick and I went out for a little bit, and brought all our favorite. Yours, too. We thought we’d need a “pick-me-up”. All of us. As a family. We’re supposed to go through things together...And ice cream helps, yes ?”

He nods. His throat too tight to say anything. And for the moment, it’s fine. He’ll tell you later. He’ll tell you how much you mean later. If he can’t find the words, he’ll find other ways to show you. 

You know anyway. You know he loves you. Just as strong as you love him. 

He loves you just as you are. You love him just as he is. 

“I love you.”

He whispers, and you smile at him, of this life-changing smile that showed him the light... You peck him on the lips, before taking his hand and walking out of the batcave, to the Manor. 

Where ice cream, and a very sweet little boy eager to raise his dad’s spirit, were waiting. 

Unconditional love. 

Bruce Wayne, wasn’t hard to love. And now, he was surrounded with the right people to make him understand this.

__________________________________________________

I just have a lot of feelings about Bruce Wayne haha. I just wanted to write a little something. It also stems from my own feelings. I’m sure we all felt at some point, that we were/are impossible to love. That no one will ever put up with our shit...yet there are people unwilling to give up on you, people who make you “better” etc etc. So. Yeah. I wrote this very quickly. Once again, watch me feel too much in the middle of the night haha. Sorry if this isn’t very good, it’s one of those “bonus” story I suddenly think about and write quickly in one sitting. I enjoyed writing it, but I admit it took less effort than most stories. So. Yes. 

If you liked it, don’t hesitate to leave a little feedback and reblog if ya want :). 

[vrishchikawrites]

About YZY leaving YMJ/JFM with her kids Post-WWX Arrival

Dear Dee, feel free to delete or ignore this or post it, whatever floats your boat. This just stuck in my head after those posts and I had to blurt it all to someone. Thanks for taking the time to read my word vomit.

So I had to do this instead of an ask because it got long and I wasn't sure how many asks it'd need or how short I could cut it down without losing parts of the argument. And then other things came up as I was writing and, well.  Well..... >_>;;;; 

But you know, after that post/ask you had about YZY fics saying 'Fuck U' to YMJ/JFM & leaving both with her kids, I had a sarcastic 'yeah right' attitude about it. Mainly due to a lot of negation emotions to such an abusive (and delusional) bitch, partly due to how she wouldn't do that since it doesn't seem to be something her sort of character would consider either because she'd think of it as 'losing' (losing what, IDK, it's why I consider her type of person crazy) or she legit wouldn't think about such a viable action.

But then later, in the shower, I seriously went 'Wait, she can't fucking do that' and it wouldn't be about how MXTX uses her as a part of the narrative but entirely about the/their culture in the novel; the actions that have and would be taken in response; and her entire toxic personality as well.

1) We already know that the sects and the cultivation world in general is sexist, elitist and so Capital T 'Traditional' to the point that it's starting to petrify and any deviancy from this is an exception rather than the norm. YZY might be a madame of a great sect (for what that's worth considering how shit of a madame she's been and the titles she's chosen for herself) but she's still a woman even with her high rank and the things she's personally accomplished.

Even if she was in her rights to leave a 'bad' marriage, she'd be the one who'd get scolded more instead of JFM by her natal family, her former husband's family and by their entire society at large even if she had a few singular supporters. Because That's Not How Things Are Done in their society and I do believe that such a thing was rare even when it was accepted method by the upper echelons. Especially since it would have to be done by more than YZY simply deciding that She Wants Out and just- goes and Gets Out. With no serious allegations that would allow her to divorce or separate from YMJ/JFM without the input from her family, JFM's family and, I think, possibly some measure of compensation as well. And no, having or bringing in a 'bastard child' is not a serious enough offence for such a humongous decision. I think something more along the lines of treason or crimes against multiple, high-ranking parties would be more along the lines. Maybe.

And even if she does this, she'd be considered 'Used Goods' (such a terrible comment) and there'd be no other good/proper marriage prospects for a divorced woman with children let alone a woman like YZY with her entire abrasive personality and attitude put off even easy-going JFM.

(If she'd been widowed then it'd be more forgiven but I consider that a Real Bad End since, IMO, it would lead to the sudden and inevitable decline of YMJ either via mass exodus of disciples and/or residents of LP; being merged with another sect due to it's unstable leadership; or create an internal political war 'cause I bet you anything that the YMJ Elders/relatives (if they have any) Would Not Want YZY in charge of YMJ when she's already proven herself such a shit betrothed let alone madame.)

2) Speaking of families, while YMJ/JFM/LP as a whole might be glad to see YZY's back, I don't think her natal sect, MSY, will be glad to see her come storming back after all the effort they put into getting that particular marriage alliance with YMJ. And if she brings her children with her? Oh man, oh boy- mother or not, that could be considered as kidnapping or line theft (is that a thing?) especially if YZY is also seriously considering divorce proceedings and raising them as Yu and not Jiang. That could give leave to, for anyone more unforgiving and maybe JFM if he's pushed enough, disown both JYL and JWY from the Jiangs through no fault of their own (though I'm sure YZY would make it so as well as blame JFM for her own decisions and mistakes).

Therefore, any inheritance or benefits they might gain for being legitimised children of a great sect are forfeited. JYL will likely lose that betrothal with JZX because JGS will drop it like a hot potato and JWY won't be a sect heir because YZY literally decided to remove that by deciding to raise JWY as a Yu, no matter their blood relation to JFM. They leave him, they leave YMJ and everything attached with it. Which is if YMJ/JFM doesn't demand MSY to give back their heir/ess and to punish YZY for her actions. Or send all three of them back for the appropriate reactions/decisions.

Their society would demand no less in reaction because, to them, it would seem like YZY had gone mad and JFM would look weak (or weaker) and imply that YMJ is vulnerable and exploitable if JFM doesn't do something in response to her actions. That's not even getting into what the other smaller sects may try to do in an attempt to curry favour with YMJ or what LLJ or QSW would try in order to destroy or diminish YMJ. And whether JFM chooses to demand his children back or not, it may not change the fact that this may give him reason enough to choose a nephew or niece to be the new sect heir especially if, even after getting rid of YZY's poisonous influence, JWY grows up to be his mother's child more than his father's or even his own person.

Either way, such a thing would bring great backlash on YZY, and MSY as well as the collateral. No one would want to give face to her or her children because it would bring up some very uncomfortable questions and scenarios to the other sects- specifically, what would happen if the female members of their clans/sets decided to follow the footsteps of YZY and leave with their children and heirs. Especially if they use it as an excuse to leave for their own comfort and whims and not some legitimate wrongs and dangers. That would create some more restrictions on women thanks to YZY

3) And lastly, if any one of those idiot YZY stans think that she'd ever give up the status of being a madame of a great sect they'd be as crazy or crazier than her. YZY is all about status and power and face. Specifically, her status, power and face and how people in her reach reflect her or 'insult' her. She is a selfish, terrible, abusive and toxic person and can only see people in regards to how they would benefit her and the elevation of her and in no other way. Especially her family. They cannot be their own person, they can only be an extension of her and gods forbid they go against her.

We can see this in how she treats the people she supposedly loves. JFM? Arguments day in, day out along with accusations and slander of cheating, having one(1) supposed 'bastard' and being 'in love' with CSSR. Which all seems sus as hell. And that's when she's actually there and not out 'night hunting'. Even her 'training' seems to border on unhelpful rather then helpful if my vague recollections of juniors fainting from exhaustion can be relied upon (please call me out if they're not or find proof).

JYL? Berated by not being 'strong' but not helped at all to be 'strong'. It doesn't help that YZY seems to believe in the same standards strength in their society- that is, of martial masculine strength which does not and should not apply to JYL who has been said to be sickly. Which means h should have been learning a different way of cultivation/fighting anyway.  If that was something she wanted and had been offered in the first place- which I doubt. That isn't even getting into her repeated generational trauma mess of a betrothal which was decided only by those 'sworn sisters', accepted by her as a way out of her terrible home life and puts her squarely within reach of JGS who we know to be a womaniser, rapist, predator and a possible ephebophile considering we don't know the exact age of his youngest 'conquest' or the age of MZY's mother when they met which could be anywhere from 14 to 21.

JWY? Gods, so much meta on him and his(non-) relationships with his parents that I don't think I can contribute more to it. It's been all said and done. Unless people want me to stir the pot by saying that, maybe, just maybe, YZY resents JWY as much as she 'loves' him.Either because he's her son and yet never manages to 'accomplish as much' as WWX or because he's a boy and therefore, more benefits and allowances than a girl/woman- more than anything that YZY ever got without either a fight or screaming at someone about. *shrug*

So, in conclusion to this sudden an unexpected essay that I wrote(I'm so sorry about that, I thought it would be shorter -.-;;;;), YZY leaving YMJ/JFM with her kids? Impossible. Not without some sort of personality transplant or a complete AU. She's too prideful, too bitter, too angry, too everything negative and little positive. She's a resentful product of the values and restraints of her society taken to the extreme negative with a willingness to inflict her pain on others to an abusive degree. But she's also too obsessed and reliant on those same values and restraints to keep up the image of her status. So her? Giving those up? You'd be more likely to see WRH as a doting grandfather than that.

---

Dee - All of this is true and yes YZY leaving YMJ is highly unlikely. While there will be consequences if she decides to leave, she does canonically lives separately from her husband. They seem to be in a situation where they are married but living separately, which was a common way to end a marriage (at least in spirit) back then. She essentially had all the perks of being Madam Jiang but fulfilled none of the responsibilities.

Afaik, her training the Jiang disciples is a donghua thing? I may be wrong but I recall she spent most of her time nighthunting.

As for taking her children along with her- that's completely impossible. At that point, children were the property of the father. She could leave but she would've never been allowed to take JC.