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thepowerofrecognition · 3 months

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How to drive traffic from social media to your website

Social Media to Website: The Traffic Generation Gateway

Social media isn't only for sharing cute cat clips or staying updated with far-off family. It's also a strong tool for promoting your business and bringing visitors to your website. But how can you change those likes and shares into people visiting your site and buying things? This blog post will give you tips and methods to make your social media work better at bringing people to your website.

Building a Strong Foundation: Profiles and Optimization

Before making content, ensure your social media pages are set up to bring people to your site. Great Bio: Write a short and simple bio that shows what your brand is about and has a message telling people to visit your website. Good Photos: Use clear and nice-looking profile and cover pictures that are the same across all your social media accounts. Website Link: Include a clickable link to your website in your bio and relevant posts.

Content is King (and Queen): Crafting Compelling Posts

To do well on social media, you need interesting content. Here's how to make posts that make people want to visit your website:

Understand Who You're Talking To: Make your content content match your audience's likes and needs. Find out what they enjoy and change your plan based on that.

Change It Up: Use different content such as photos, videos, graphs, and live streams to keep your audience engaged.

Useful and Entertaining: Provide content that educates, entertains, or assists your audience. Share unique ideas, advice, or exclusive content that they can't find easily elsewhere.

Share Stories: Add stories to your posts. People like stories, so use them to show what your brand is and stands for.

Give Simple Directions: Tell your audience exactly what you want them to do. Put easy-to-follow steps in your posts, like telling them to go to your website for more details or to get something to download.

Optimizing for Engagement: The Social Butterfly Effect

Engagement helps your content reach more people. Here are a few ways to start talks and get people involved:

Ask Questions: Ask questions that make people want to talk and think.

Have Contests and Give Free Stuff: Everyone loves a fun contest. Give away things that your audience likes and ask them to visit your website to enter.

Answer Comments: Show your audience you're listening by quickly answering their comments and messages. This makes people feel like they're part of a group and keeps them interested.

Collaborations: Work with popular people or other businesses in your interest. This helps more people see your content and can bring more visitors to your website.

Join Trending Conversations: Take part in popular discussions and topics to make your brand more visible.

Utilizing Social Media Features:

Every platform has special features that can help bring more visitors. Here are some ways to use them:

Facebook Groups: Join or start groups related to your business and share helpful content that makes people want to check out your website for more details.

Instagram Features and Stories: Make intriguing Instagram stories to flaunt your items and administrations, add connections to your site, and give a background check of your business. Arrange your best stories into bunches of given subjects so it's simpler for individuals to find what they're searching for.

Twitter Polls and Chats: Conduct polls on Twitter to learn about your audience's preferences and initiate conversations. Participate in Twitter chats to connect with industry experts and expand your reach.

LinkedIn Lead Gen Forms: Employ LinkedIn's forms to direct users to your website directly from the platform, helping you generate leads.

The Power of Paid Advertising:

Getting your posts seen by many people on social media can be tough. It might be a good idea to spend some money on ads. Here's how you can use paid ads on social media to bring more people to your website:

Choose Your Audience: Social media lets you pick who sees your ads.

As they are more likely to visit your website, make sure individuals who could be interested in what you're selling notice your advertisements.

Obtain Clicks: The goal of any advertising campaign is to encourage individuals to visit your website by clicking on the advertisements. Make your ads interesting so that people will want to click on them.

Remind Previous Visitors: Show adverts to people who have already visited your website but haven't bought anything. This could help visitors remember your brand and entice them to visit your website again.

Tracking and Analytics: Measuring Your Success

To do well on social media, you need to keep checking your progress and make changes as needed. Use the tools provided by each platform to see how many people see your posts, how much they interact with them, and if they visit your website. Look at which posts do the best and adjust your plan based on that.

Post Regularly: Keep posting on a set schedule to keep your followers interested and wanting more.

Use Hashtags Wisely: Find hashtags that fit your posts but don't use too many. Mix in some popular and some less common ones to reach more people.

Use Content from Your Audience: Get your followers to share their stories about your brand by having contests or asking them to use a special hashtag. Share their posts to show that your brand is real and to build trust with your audience.

Post at the Right Time: Share your content when the people you want to reach are using social media the most. Use tools that let you plan and post regularly all week.

Tell People About Your Profiles: Let people know about your social media pages on your website and in your emails. Demand that the individuals who as of now follow you on one virtual entertainment site follow you on the others.

Integrate Enrapturing Pictures and Recordings: Individuals love pictures. Utilize excellent pictures and recordings in your postings to improve them and draw in perusers.

Utilize Social Commerce Features: Shoppable posts and item labels are two instances of the shopping highlights tracked down on numerous informal communication stages. Utilize these to smooth out the buying system for your crowd.

Integrate Social Media with Other Marketing Channels: Sync your email crusades, online entertainment posts, and other showcasing methodologies to make a firm arrangement.

Advanced Strategies for Social Media-Savvy Users

Social Tuning: Utilize social listening apparatuses to follow brand specifies, industry patterns, and contender movement. This important data can assist you with fitting your substance procedure and recognizing undiscovered open doors.

Local area Building: Encourage areas of strength for a local area around your image. Energize conversations, answer questions speedily and recognize important commitments from your crowd. This reliable local area can turn into a strong wellspring of informal promoting and site traffic.

Powerhouse Showcasing: Join forces with important powerhouses in your specialty to advance your image and contact a more extensive crowd. Notwithstanding, guarantee the powerhouse lines up with your image esteem and reverberates with your interest group for the greatest effect.

Final Thoughts: Creating a Constant Flow of Visitors from Social Media

Getting visitors from social media to your website is an ongoing task. By using the strategies we discussed earlier, you can establish a consistent flow of visitors that supports your website's growth and success in marketing. Always keep in mind the importance of consistency, engaging with your audience, and providing valuable content.

Social media is constantly evolving and can vary frequently. Stay updated with the latest trends, adjust your strategies as necessary, and experiment with various approaches to find what works best for your business and your target audience. With effort and informed decision-making, you can transform your social media presence into a powerful tool for attracting more visitors.

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tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 1 year

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I wrote a while ago about how, for the first time in a while, I’m sort of approaching a point of not having a hundred things on my immediate list of comedy to see/hear, so I have room to add another big thing. Of course, since then I’ve added a bunch of little things, a few at a time, so I’m in no danger of running out.

The latest things I added were some Robin Ince and Michael Legge things. Which I group together because I know they’ve done a bunch of stuff together, but in this case, they were separate things. In the last week, have listened to a couple of Michael Legge things purchased of Bandcamp - Strawberries to Pigs audiobook and Halloween EP - and a couple of Robin Ince things purchased off Go Faster Stripe - his 2008 DVD, and his 2016 DVD, which comes with three separate files and several hours of material that's meant to be a kind of "best of" for his career until then. All things I can do now that I have a small amount of disposable income. Really not much disposable income, all that happened is I got a low-paying but consistent and reliable job, so I've gone from "can't spend money on anything but rent and groceries and a bit worried that I'll lose the ability to pay for that", to "it won't kill me if I drop $12 on an audiobook once in a while". But it does seem worth reiterating now that if people want to financially compensate comedians for their work that we take from them, Bandcamp and Go Faster Stripe are both ways to actually do that, as opposed to large corporate streaming platforms that pay them basically nothing and I don't feel guilty for taking from those.

Anyway. Really enjoyed my few days dedicated to Michael Legge and Robin Ince. They have a few things in common that makes you see why they put themselves together for various projects, like a comedy style of mimicking (or… maybe just doing) a stream of consciousness, frequent distractions and asides of the sort that don’t come off as hugely professional (I assume this sort of thing is why Robin Ince has named half his stuff “shambles”), being really angry about everything, and talking a lot about how much they like 80s music and 80s comedy. Also some differences, like Robin Ince talks a lot more about science and Michael Legge does a lot more shouting, and sheer visceral barely directed anger. Also I can't really picture Michael Legge meeting Richard Dawkins and Alan Moore. He maybe has met those people, it just seems to fit less well.

I wrote earlier this week about Michael Legge’s Halloween thing, but now know that his audiobook was very entertaining. It's him reading out a collection of his blog posts, from across about 10 years. Most of those blog posts being about seeing stuff in everyday life and getting angry about it. And then understanding the unfairness and pointlessness of his own anger, getting angry at himself for that. And then going back and forth between blaming himself and blaming everyone else, playing with this cycle really masterfully in a couple of stories in particular.

I’ve said before that a lot of comedians will admit to/affect little pockets of self-loathing for a particular bit, but the comedians who can take self-loathing and really do it properly, are more rare but very entertaining (to the point where I almost feel guilty for how entertaining I find that shit, I don’t want other people to be genuinely miserable for my entertainment, it’s just that if they’re going to be miserable anyway, I may as well get some entertainment out of it and they may as well make some Bandcamp money off it). Michael Legge definitely does it right. Or wrong, depending on your perspective. He does self-loathing right and life wrong.

It ends with an eight-part short-ish story, moving from blog post reading to fiction, that was also good. It started a bit slow, and early on I thought I could predict where it was going. That he was just using the premise of a store's complaints department to pick on some more little annoyances of everyday life, which was mildly amusing, but I was a bit disappointed, because I thought there wasn't enough in that to carry an eight-part story that took nearly about two hours to read. I won't spoil it all because I think people should get the book, but I'll say I was wrong, it picks up quickly after the first couple of parts, and and gets really good.

Robin Ince was someone I'd heard in a few different places before, and I knew his reputation. Science guy (and relatedly, atheist guy), book club guy, shambles guy. Has hosted events with other comedians and musicians and scientists and important thinkers/writers and Alan Moore (honestly, I think I'm more impressed that that he's hosted Alan Moore than some of the Nobel Prize winners), to celebrate intellectualism. Is the exact guy other people are talking about when they complain about self-righteous, snobbish, self-proclaimed intellectual comedians, who are preachy about their atheism and brag about how smart they are and do routines about how they're better than anyone who's religious or doesn't read Carl Sagan. The thing about all those complaints is they kind of just make me more interested in seeing the comedians in question. And now that I've seen his DVDs, I can confirm... yep, he's exactly what they complain about.

Some undefined number of years ago, it might have been different. I actually don't think we should all look down on all religious people (at least... that's what I think as a theoretical principle, I'm a bit uneven about how well I can maintain in this in practice). And I'll be honest, I have never read Carl Sagan. I was shit at science and math in school. I barely made it through the hard science-y courses that I had to take for my psychology degree in university, making up my poor grades there with better ones in the courses that were more about research and writing. I am in no position to look down on anyone who doesn't fully understand that shit.

However, I do support the glorification of people who are at least trying to understand. The idea that those of us who don't understand should look at those who do and say "Wow, in this one specific way you are, in fact, better than me, I'm glad you exist so the world can get better." Some undefined number of years ago, I felt like this was the default position in society, so pushing it too hard could feel a bit self-righteous.

But for the past undefined number of years, there has been such a massive anti-intellectual backlash, such a smearing of experts as elites that are trying to force you to think about stuff and we shouldn't listen to them, that Robin Ince feels refreshing. It does feel like saying something unusual and powerful and exciting for someone in popular entertainment to say "I think we can do better than just not giving a shit. Giving a shit about some things that actually matter is cool and probably important." I makes me think of a David O'Doherty bit where he complains about reality TV, and says he knows people's argument is they know it's bad but just want to turn off their brains, but maybe people spend too much time turning off their brains these days, and brains are important, and should be switched on more often.

Does he always do it perfectly? Maybe not literally 100% of the time. The 2008 DVD has a couple of bits where he's pretty specifically going after people from working class backgrounds. But I didn't see anything like that in his 2016 DVD, which suggests he's grown out of that stuff, which is fair enough. You cannot hold people to everything they said in 2008 (also it was only a couple of bits, most of that DVD was good).

Anyway, I really enjoyed the Robin Ince DVDs. I enjoyed the glorification of shit that matters, and I enjoyed all the jokes he found within it. The way he didn't need to stop and justify everything, he started with the idea that his audience was on board, and then set about mining the humour in stuff he likes. And it wasn't all Carl Sagan. There was some parenthood stuff that was nice and funny and short enough to not annoy me (I think that's the trick with parenthood stuff, I can laugh at it a little at a time, not so much if it's the focus of a long routine). There were a few absolutely spot-on Stewart Lee impressions. And one of the files that comes with the digital purchases features a performance by the brilliant English folk singer Grace Petrie, whose music I heard years ago (I think I bought one of her albums at a folk festival somewhere) but not for a long time, this DVD reminded me of her existence, and I think I might be in love with her, so that's fun.

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blueprint-han · 4 years

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[Image ID: A black picture with the title “HOW TO SUPPORT FANFICTION AUTHORS” written in bold caps lock, colored with a winter forest picture. End ID.]

Well, this post has been made countless times, but I’m making one too because I’ve seen a lot of people say they’re new to tumblr and don’t know the whole “reblogging is better than liking” rule and other stuff. So without any further ado, here are ways YOU can support the fanfiction authors. Now keep in mind this applies to almost every author out there, not just the stayblr fandom, so if you’re a silent reader (or even if you aren’t), I advise you go through this post. Warning, this is a fairly long post going into detail, so yeah. I still expect you, the readers to read this, and if you’re a writer, feel free to lmk if i’ve written smth wrong or if you want me to add something! ^^

In this post I’ll go into thorough analysis of the pros and cons of each of the methods listed here and how YOU as a reader can show the authors whose fics you read more love and motivate them to produce content.

WARNING; LONG POST! GOES INTO A DECENT AMOUNT OF DETAIL. NOT EDITED, EXCUSE ANY TYPOS.

#1 : LIKING !

I think this is basic common knowledge, and a lot of people tend to do this. When you like the post, the author sees it, you see it, and if the author has their liked posts accessible (which majority of the time they don’t), and if someone deliberately goes to check it, then they see it. See why so many authors say just liking does nothing? Only liking says “Hey, I’m gonna tell you your story is not that good by simply liking it and not sharing it with other people. :D”

♯ PROS:

You’re telling the author that you've read their fic, and either you’ve enjoyed it to a certain extent, or you’re just saving it to read for later.

Likes are seen by you, the author and anyone who has access to your likes (which, most people don’t).

♯ CONS:

If you ONLY like, you’re not really helping the author’s work reach a wide audience because this site isn’t Instagram. Reblogging is the only way people can SEE our works. I’ll cover more on that in the next section.

In a nutshell, liking is good! But you should most likely use it in a combination with the other stuff I’ve listed below, because just the like itself doesn’t really do much in giving the author any feedback or interaction on their fics.

To clear shit up; I’m not talking about those people who don’t read the story or appreciate it in the first place. I’m talking about those who appreciate the fic, like it, but don’t leave any sort of feedback to show that.

#2 : REBLOGGING !

This is SO, SO important. I cannot stress on this enough. Let me explain WHY so many writers stress on reblogging content:

Tumblr’s tag system is inherently fucked up, and has grown more so over the year. I’m not kidding, at first, the fic either used to show up in the tags or it didn’t, but now, sometimes your fic can be REMOVED from the tags because of,,, idk tumblr tag shit. Anyways, as you can see, it’s very demotivating for authors at that point, because the major way for people to find their content and expand their blogs has been blocked.

Due to this reason, tumblr authors need to RELY on you, their followers to help spread their works to a wider audience. Now again, before you get me wrong, I’m not saying you ae forced to rb our works regardless of whether you like them or not. BUT, that being said, if you DO infact like the story, there’s no harm in reblogging, right? By doing this you’re indirectly telling the author — “hey! :D I liked your fic! Which is why I am gonna share it to my followers so they can read it too :D” Trust me, you’re doing nothing but helping the people who produce content for you to read. Seems like a worthy cause to hit the reblog button, right? It’s only a one, or maximum two step procedure.

Leave tags in your reblogs! Trust me, as an author myself and as much as I know from all my author friends, we oft check the tags of your reblogs to see if you found any part amazing or even if you have anything to say about the writing we put so much hard work into. Even a key smash or a “This was so [insert adjective] 🥺” is enough to leave a smile on your authors face.

♯ PROS :

You’re !! Sharing !! Your authors !! Works !! This leads to them getting more recognition, so for the content they’re so graciously providing for free, you’re promoting their blog and helping them expand it.

If the tags are being a shit, which majority of the time they are, then you’re literally making an author’s day by reblogging! You’re showing them that you, a follower and appreciator of their works are willingly sharing their content because it deserves to be seen by more people. Again before any dumb people decide to attack me, i am talking about people who like the fic but don't bother reblogging and are silent/ghost readers. I am not forcing anyone to read anybody’s work.

YOU’RE MAKING YOUR AUTHOR SO HAPPY WHAT MORE REASONS COULD YOU POSSIBLY WANT !! 🥺

♯ CONS :

Literally none, because as far as I remember no author is against reblogging of their works. It’s quite literally the way this platform functions. Reblogging is IMPORTANT.

#3 : COMMENTING/SENDING FEEDBACK !

This kind of overlaps with the previous section, but THIS IS SUCH AN IMPORTANT STEP !! When you leave feedback, you are directly giving the author something so much more valuable to them than high follower/note counts or money. Your feedback is literally our serotonin. I kid you not the number of times I’ve received a positive comment and smiled and it has made my day. There’s a reason youtubers (though not the best example, bear with me here because it was the only one I could think of) ask people to subscribe, like and COMMENT. The subscription is like a follow, the like is ofc like a heart, and the comment is equivalent to an rb with comments in the tags.

You might argue and tell me that a comment is basically like an ask so the reblogging step isn’t necessary, but I’m sure 99% of you use YouTube and you know that more comments leads to people’s videos boosted in the stream/trending charts. This is what reblogging does. Reblogging shares the piece with other people like minded, which leads to a boost in reads. You are literally helping your author grow.

It’s quite literally the same thing as youtubers. Youtubers NEED validation to keep their content creation going, so do writers, so do other ccs on this site. This post is however, focused on WRITERS, so keep that in mind.

♯ PROS :

By doing this, you’re giving author valuable feedback! It’s similar to what you do in rbing with tags. Interactivity with their fics boosts their note counts and helps expand their audience, so srsly, now think of it: your one comment is playing such a massive role to help ccs create more content.

Imagine how much of a difference the note counts will be in when every person who simply likes after reading the fic, reblogs, leaves a comment and sends an ask. the note counts would be high on each and every fic, which is validation in itself, but your comments would inspire the writer so much more! Please, don’t skip the commenting part. Even a simple one like: “this is so cute!” is wonderful.

♯ CONS :

Remember, if you’re gonna give constructive criticism (which I’m sure you all are smart enough to know if different from hate), make sure the author is okay with it. Authors need to be in a specific mindset and must be ready to accept criticism, so if you’re gonna give constructive criticism to them when they’re at a low point, it may demotivate them.

Just commenting, instead of reblogging and commenting in the tags/ reblogging and then leaving an ask in their inbox, while it gives validation in plenty, will not lead to the author’s work being spread. Therefore I suggest either reblogging and commenting in the tags or reblog and then leave an ask, or comment under the fic!

!! reminder; I am not saying that if you don’t rb and just leave feedback, your feedback has no value. We authors truly appreciate every bit of feedback, but this post is aimed to help you learn how to interact with and support authors, and make them feel more motivated, because the current scenario of liking and scrolling is taking a toll on their creative abilities. Take it from a person who’s been writing for a year.

#4 : COMMSIONING VIA THEIR KO-FI/OTHER APPS !

Before any of you attack me, let me tell you that this is not a step that is 100% necessary to do. ONLY donate if you can and if you genuinely want to, and if anyone is forcing you to pay for something against your will, you need to get yourself out of there.

Regardless, if an author has a kofi and you’re able to and you want to donate, you definitely should! It’s also a valid form of support.

#5 : ADDING THEM ON REC LISTS/ RECOMMENDING THEM TO REC BLOGS

This is such an underrated option, to be honest. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve seen my fic was recommended onto some rec list and it’s made me smile so hard. If you like some fics, create a rec list! They’re oft very popular amongst the fans too. Making rec posts is such a great way to share your favorite stories with others.

Rec blogs! I’ve seen a couple going around, and needless to say they are a great way to get someone else to read your favorite author’s work whilst also giving them your own feedback. These blogs oft accept recs via a form or ask box, and they leave your feedback along with their own, or else they’ll oft tag the author in the feedback post, so look! You’re basically helping your author share their fic to many more people, because you’ve given them feedback and a reblog.

♯ PROS :

Validation! Feedback! Reblogs! More exposure! Helping a blog grow! Spreading love! basically a run down of the stuff I’ve said before!

♯ CONS :

Literally no con of this. Unless, a one in a million case, this author says they don’t like receiving feedback/being tagged, and I’m sure NO person has said this before, at least none that I’ve heard of.

#6 : FINAL COMMENTS; MISC !

When an author points out about how the interactivity is drastically reducing, don’t just give them blind apologies. Yes, you feel sorry for not interacting as much, we understand, but rather show that you’ll become a better content consumer through your actions. We need to see that we’re not just throwing words into a void and that people are actually trying to be better content consumers.

Understand the fact that authors don’t get paid for this, and 99% of the time, these authors don’t take commissions either. They’re giving you novel worthy writings for free. Take Percy Jackson: You think the author would have felt motivated to write the subsequent parts, let alone two whole series based off of it if literally no one showed that they were interested? Rick Riordan has sales, he is being paid, there are millions of people and big agencies who provide him feedback. Now take that huge amount and simmer it down to an audience of maybe 10000 people This is what fanfic authors want. They don’t want your money, nor are they telling you to risk your lives for them. All they want is, a reblog, some tags, some feedback, some INTERACTIVITY. A sign that they aren’t throwing fics into the void and that people actually like them, some motivation to continue. Seems fairly easy to throw an rb with some tags, right?

Don’t bother to tell me that we do this for ourselves and we shouldn’t ask for likes and reblogs and feedback, because 1) you are consuming the content that we “write for ourselves” and 2) writers post their content here for interactivity and feedback. We could just not post and write and save our fics in our dungeon drafts for years. But we choose to post to entertain the readers, the consumers. And we aren’t even asking that much in return.

Don’t give me the whole “I’m scared that authors feel that comments are annoying” excuse either because seriously this has been DEBUNKED SO MANY TIMES. Istg, in the nicest way possible, if you still think writers are annoyed by interaction and feedback, after so many posts, long rants have been posted as to how we’re not, then you must truly be living under a rock. There, I said it. Please stop thinking this way, I’ll say it again, AUTHORS ARE NOT ANNOYED OF FEEDBACK, COMMENTS, TAGS, REBLOGS. WE LOVE IT. Saying this is like saying that the audience in a theatre play shouldn’t clap when the play ends because the actors would find it noisy. 🤡

I’ve seen some people saying they have anxiety issues and such, so pls note that I’m not invalidating your condition. If you’re trying to be more interactive, I really appreciate it! If you can’t, that’s fine too. You’re trying.

But for the people who have no reason other than feeling lazy to rb and comment, your lack of interactiveness is not excused. Please. Tumblr is a reblogging site. If you’re gonna consume content like authors are some sort of machines, I encourage you to go get some more perspective.

This site is not Instagram or the satan bird app. Your likes are appreciated but frankly speaking, they do nothing to the author except tell them “Hey i read ur fic but i'm not gonna support u :D” and honestly, that is detrimental to their creative capabilities and mental health.

DON’T FOLLOW AN ACC JUST TO MINDLESS RB THEIR SIGNAL BOOST POSTS AND THEIR REBLOGS OF GIFS AND NOT INTERACT WITH THEIR WRITING AT ALL ! Trust me, authors prefer a lower amount of interactive followers than a high count that doesn’t even give them any feedback. Again your follows are appreciated, but when you’re following, you know the type of content the author creates, so the author expects that the more followers, the more interactivity. These days, this is just becoming the opposite. So don’t do it! If you’re gonna follow to read, interact with their works. I promise, this will make both you and the author happy. A win-win situation.

In conclusion: SUPPORT YOUR FUCKING AUTHORS! THEY ARE NOT MACHINES THAT HAVE NO FEELINGS TO PRODUCE CONTENT FOR YOU! FICS TAKE DAYS AND DAYS OF PLANNING, PLOTTING, OUTLINING, WRITING, EDITING, MAKING TEASERS. SO JUST SHOW THEM YOU APPRECIATE THEM WITH AN RB. IT’S THE L E A S T YOU CAN DO.

I will be liking this post here written by the lovely @chaninfused and @scriptura-delirus . Please take time to read it because if you weren’t convinced by my arguments, you will see how much frustration we as writers face on a daily basis. Please, just show support. Here is the post by @stayndays about how to get more people to read your work, because it also has a note on reblogging. Please educate yourself, and put an end to this mindless consuming culutre and bring up some interactivity.

If you’ve read this far, I want you to go to two of your favorite authors and leave some feedback in their inbox, and tag me in it (either tag me yourself or ask the author to do so, they won’t mind). Show your writers that our words are taking effect and you are becoming better consumers. I mean it. I’m serious. I want every single one who reads this post to do this. besides valid reasons, if you’re lazy to do this, you’re a part of the problem. PLEASE get more perspective.

Also, feel free to add to this post! I’d love to read your thoughts too, remember to be kind though. And, if I think your rb is somehow contradicting my points and is bringing down the reason I made this post, I will politely ask you to delete your comment, because this post is about being truthful about the harsh reality of tumblr consumers and how we can change it. I’m sure none of you will let it get to that point, though. <3 love you guys. 💓

And, just a reminder, don’t just blindly like this too. Do what I said before, and while I am not forcing you, I’d appreciate your reblog, because seriously, it took me 3 whole days to write this, plus, I’m sure this will help more of your followers understand the fault in consumer culture. haha, that’s it! This post was way too long uff.

also, this is ur cue to not be stupid in my inbox. You have something to say? Think I worded smth wrongly? I’m sure it wasn’t my intention to do so, point it out with manners.

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witchesbe-like · 3 years

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It’s crazy to me to think that we are in such survival mode with finances that ‘side hustles’ are a regular thing now. Don’t get me wrong, I hate hustle culture. I believe we all should be pursuing our passions but not to the level of toxic self-destruction.

So why the side hustle? Because we all need money, and witchy side hustles can oftentimes manifest into lucrative careers. Nothing makes me happier than a witch living their best life making a career out of doing what they were born to do.

If you have another idea you want to add to the list, or drop a comment below!

Read tarot - This one is by far the one I see the most often, and that’s not a bad thing. I have my go-to favorite tarot readers for different things because I feel like tarot readers are not all built the same. Some styles of reading work better for life paths and some for career choices. Nothing is better than an abundance of tarot readers. Plus you can create a large audience by using Instagram or TikTok and this one requires almost no start-up money.

Spell services - I’m not always a fan of selling witchy services because some people seem kind of shady or are in it just to make money and not really having any background in witchcraft or occultism BUT I put it on here. If you genuinely care about your clientele and want to spread the magic by offering great spell casting services, then this might be the side hustle for you.

Etsy shop - I am not remarkable at selling on Etsy and have never really had a tremendous amount of luck with that site, but that’s not to say you won’t. I’m also an avid Etsy shopper and have found loads of witchy shops selling everything from blended oils to fixed candles on the platform.

Blog - Then there's the blog. This is the space where I find the most success, but what I often don’t find are a lot of other witchy blogs. Sure, there’s a bunch out there, but it doesn’t seem as over-saturated as say a cooking or your basic mom blog. Although I don’t, you can make money off of advertising and other ad revenues.

Write books - If you have a knack for writing, try penning your own book. You can go the traditional route of seeking out a publishing agent, but honestly, self-publishing is so huge right now. So many books with so much great content, definitely worth taking a look at. Who knows you could be the next big thing in witch books.

Teach classes - Is there a local witch shop nearby? Have you thought about hosting classes or teaching workshops on various witchy subjects? In my experience I have found so many people interested in learning more about the craft, it could be a noteworthy start to a rewarding career.

Create lifestyle goods - Lifestyle goods to me are things like shirts, stuff for your house, coffee mugs. Printify and Printful are two websites to get things rolling in the merchandise world.

Cottage food - Cottage food to me are things like jellies, jams and preserves. Think kitchen witch vibes. If you’re already a gourmet cook with a penchant for magic, this could be the space for you.

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nastyatticman · 4 years

Text

If Slashers had horny Tumblrs...

What it says on the tin! HC post for if Jason, Bubba, Brahms, & Billy (Lenz) had their own tumblrs for horny content. (18+ only)

If you like these, feel free to send a request for other characters if you want :D

Contains : adult content, discussions of kink & brief mention of sexual harassment

Jason Voorhees

Very barebones bio that gives some basic info - his age, his gender/pronouns, and a warning this blog contains adult content.

Doesn’t get updated often, and it’s usually all at night. Mostly consists of content he reblogs from different creators (artists/sex workers, etc)

Don’t expect a fancy theme or anything - he only uses his phone for horny content since he shares a computer with his sweet old boomer mom.

A good mix - largely pictures people post of themselves or art he likes. Sometimes he’s in a Mood and reblogs a bunch of very specific kinky posts - text posts with affirmations from doms, risqué art, gif sets of people in gear.

He doesn’t have a huge following or anything, just a handful of mutuals and spam bots he doesn’t clear out frequently. But when he posts anything he thinks could be too intense he makes sure to tag it with warnings, just in case.

Sometimes leaves little compliments for people - he’s usually too shy to message people directly but he’ll reblog their posts and say nice things in the tags. Nothing too forward, usually things like “you look so handsome here!”

Bubba Sawyer

Makes sure not to put any identifying info but he usually puts his age/vague age range (“in my 30s”) because people ask for that.

A collection of stuff he likes, mostly pictures or gifs or the odd video or audio post.

A lot of mostly vanilla content - again, what turns him on, what he can jerk it to easily. Stuff he can focus on when he’s really trying to get off. I feel like he’s more likely to reblog a gif set of people just going at it or pictures of a hot person in lingerie or cute undies than anything with too much of a kink/fetish focus. But not always.

I’m not sure if our Bubba can read/write very well so I can’t see him reblogging or writing long text posts, but there will be a few short ones here and there.

He’s a little too nervous to post intimate pics publicly but I can see him on a very very confident day posting pics of just his hands after seeing people talk abt how they like strong hands.

Again, doesn’t write a lot, so he doesn’t add comments to reblogs or anything

He may leave nice things in tags tho! Like Jason he sometimes leaves little compliments for people whose content he reblogs (ur dress is so pretty!). Sometimes he tags things with certain emojis that seem to have some kind of meaning… a mood he’s in… or maybe they remind him of someone he likes?

Brahms Heelshire

VERY detailed very organized pinned post with info about him including a list of his kinks, and what interactions he wants/doesn’t want. Also, places to send him tribute. Not that he needs the money, of course, but he wouldn’t mind if you got him something off his wishlist. (Wink wink nudge nudge.)

I see him as a switch who leans heavily towards submissive with a bratty streak. However people tend to assume he’s more dominant since he reblogs more dom centered text posts (he’s usually imagining he’s the sub in those scenarios).

Has a decent following since he will periodically produce a lot of original content - mostly text posts, or audio, and the occasional picture where his face is obscured and no naughty bits are showing directly. He errs on the side of caution since he doesn’t want to get struck down by the tumblr nipple police, and also because are you kidding me his family has a reputation to uphold, he can’t afford to get caught

Tumblr is his main horny platform of choice because he finds it easier to organize content he likes into an archive, and there’s more privacy. He tried making an nsfw account on other platforms before, but because of linked accounts and email fuckery he got recommended to follow a family friend and nearly shat himself. (He has a good handle on privacy and he knows that person couldn’t find him - he double checked his privacy settings after that - but it still scared him off that website, at least for that purpose.)

Because he has a decent following he also has a few mutuals he’s messaged periodically. He’s varying degrees of close - some only know him from his posts, some know his main tumblr, some may even be following him on other platforms as “long distance friends”

Every once in a while debates about having his own server for his simps followers, but he’s not sure about using his discord where he keeps in touch with friends/family for it or making a new one. You’re welcome to message him if you’re mutuals or you send him some cash first ❤️

Billy Lenz

What do you mean, “horny on main”? What, like you have an alt?

His blog is like, 98% porn but every once in a while he’ll reblog a non porn post to get into an argument.

“You sure have a lot of opinions on Canadian politics for a hentai blog 🤔”

Mostly an archive of stuff he finds hot at the time, without rhyme or reason - reblogs, links to other websites, etc. mostly chaos, but it seems like every once in a while he tries to have some kind of tagging system.

He sometimes posts original content - sometimes rambling text posts about the kind of sex he wants to have, very rarely pictures of himself. that he deletes immediately after in fear of getting flagged.

When it comes to audio posts… the Moaner lives up to his name. Although he’s not skilled with recording - clearly doing it on his phone - His audios aren’t half bad if you can find them. Usually captioned with something about how he made them or what he was thinking about when he made them.

Let’s be real, canon Billy had like no concept of consent. Or just didn’t care, because he wanted to scare and intimidate people. He’s definitely been blocked by people for sending creepy messages/asks or adding unwanted captions to their posts. When he wants to hit on someone in a way that means they may reciprocate, he’s nicer, but people are still (understandably) put off by him.

At his most polite though, he’d be the type to send an ask to someone saying he hopes they come to Toronto so that he can eat their hot pink cunt and make them cum on his thick tongue and fat, juicy cock. (This is regardless of factors like their actual location, whether or not they have a cunt, or travel guidelines due to the pandemic.)

#slasher fandom #jason voorhees #bubba sawyer #brahms heelshire #billy lenz #slasher imagines #lemon #nsft #noises from the attic #first post like this im nervous #who would u follow tho? i can see myself following brahms tbh #nasty attic originals

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alwaysahiccupandastrid · 4 years

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A dumb concept but hear me out.

Relating back to my post about how the four “rotten” kids didn’t deserve what happened to them, and what I said about the parents being the ones punished/harmed instead, I had some ideas.

First of all, Augustus nearly falls into the chocolate river but his mother rushes forwards to stop her son falling in, and she falls in instead, nearly drowning. Alternatively, we saw her putting candies into her bag, maybe she tries to get some of the chocolate river into a canteen/flask, who knows? She gets sucked up into the pipe instead, and Augustus watches in horror as the Oompa Loompas sing about how she’s encouraged her son’s gluttony, how he could meet a sticky end like her if he doesn’t change. As his mother is taken to the fudge room, Wonka sends an Oompa Loompa to get her out - but Augustus stays on with the tour. He noticeably doesn’t gorge himself as he did before.

In the inventing room, Wonka shows off the three course gum meal and Violet tries to grab it - however, she hesitates for a moment when he mentions how it’s not “quite right” yet. Her mother, however, snatches the gum from her, telling her “winners don’t hesitate, Violet”, before chewing away. Mrs Beauregarde then begins to swell up like a blueberry and has to be juiced. Violet is terrified that a stick of gum did that to her mother, and she listens as the Oompa Loompas sing about how bad chewing gum is, and about how she could end up the same way if she continues to be as competitive and like her mother. As her mother is rolled to the juicing room, Violet also stays on with the tour; no one sees her take her gum out of her mouth and toss it away.

The group goes to the nut sorting room, where Veruca sees the squirrels and decides she wants one. She goes to get one herself, only for the squirrels to leap at her; her father jumps the gate and races down to help her - suddenly the squirrels turn from Veruca and run to swarm him instead whilst she runs back up the stairs and clambers to get behind the gate once more. Everyone watches as the squirrels pronounce Mr Salt a bad egg and toss him straight down the chute; the Oompa Loompas sing about how her parents spoilt her, about how despite his money, he’s not anything more than garbage and that if she continues to act like a spoilt brat, Veruca will be as rotten as they are - rotten as the garbage. She stays on with the tour whilst Oompa Loompas are sent to retrieve her father from the garbage chute; she’s quieter and listens more as the tour goes on, not demanding a thing.

In the TV room, Mike is about to be teleported into the TV when his dad suddenly panics, runs and pushes him off the platform, taking his place himself as the lights flash a second later. Mike watches as his father nearly dies and comes out of the ordeal six inches tall; he hears the Oompa Loompas sing about how television rots the brain, hence why he tried to do something so stupid, and it humbles him a little bit. His dad is taken to the taffy puller to be stretched out, and Mike apologizes for calling Wonka an idiot as they go to continue.

Now Wonka realizes that the only ones remaining are the five kids and Grandpa Joe - and he grins as he announces that Charlie has won the special prize, that Charlie will receive the entire factory. Clearly, his grandparents and parents raised him to he not-so-rotten. The other kids are astounded but quiet, and congratulate Charlie - though they all seem a little down and different than when the tour started.

He leads the group down to the factory entrance - and there are the four parents. Mrs Gloop, covered in chocolate from head to toe, licking her lips and clearly trying to resist nibbling her fingers. Mrs Beauregarde, bright blue-purple and flexible. Mr Salt, reeking and covered in three weeks worth of garbage. Mr Teavee, eight or nine feet tall and as thin as paper. The kids are horrified by what they see - their parents are reflections of what they could become, what they could have become on the tour.

That’s when Wonka announces his proposition: the four kids have a choice. They can go home with their parents, and hope that their day in the factory has changed them, that their parents have learnt a lesson too, and that they’ll all hopefully be better people because of it - or they can stay at the factory, working under his and Charlie’s supervision and learning how to run a business together. He tells them that they’re good kids at heart, and that he’d be willing to take them on if they’re willing to make the effort, to change for the better.

None of them really know what to say, but they look at their parents - at how rotten they are, at how they could become their parents if they’re not careful - and they realize that no, they don’t want to be like their parents at all. It’s a crazy idea, yes, but as Wonka explains how each of their skills could be used and developed for good purposes, they realize that it’s better than what their parents have been raising them to be.

The parents are outraged but Wonka tells them not to worry - Charlie’s family will be living in the factory, and so the children won’t be alone with just one (kind of kooky creepy) adult male and hundreds of Oompa Loompas, because Charlie’s parents and grandparents will be there to take care of the kids and make sure they’re well looked after. Makes sense that the parents/guardians of the least rotten kid can help shape and form the other four to be better people, right? Besides, he adds, the kids are more than welcome to say no and go home with their parents.

The kids - including Charlie - decide to have a minute where they talk about this - their parents may suck, but this is still weird and a bit strange. Charlie tells them that he personally would not abandon his family, not for all the chocolate in the world - but then, he admits, his parents and grandparents are good and honest people who love and care about him, and that while they’ve never been able to afford lavish gifts or even more than one chocolate bar a year for him on his birthday, he’s always been happy because he loves his family and is content that they love him too. The other four realize that they can’t exactly say the same about their own parents - their parents have been neglectful, for the most part, and never encouraged them to pursue new skills or change their dangerous habits.

Having said that, despite the fact their parents are terrible parents, the children don’t think they can just abandon their parents completely - despite it all, the children do hold some love for their families. With that in mind, they make a deal with their parents and Mr Wonka: yes, they would very much like to live in the factory and work with Charlie, and develop new skills - but they don’t want to abandon their parents completely. They ask that their parents be allowed to live near to the factory and that they can see them as often as they like - they would ask if their families can come live in the factory too, but they don’t think a) their parents would want that, given what they’ve gone through, and b) Wonka would want these rotten adults living in his factory with his workers and potentially causing harm/problems with his candy.

It’s kind of pretty useful that Charlie’s family is about to move into the factory - Wonka, with their permission, decides he’s going to use it to make a building/area for the other four children’s families to live in. Not that the parents are thrilled by the idea at all - the Salt family has a whole nut business AND a massive estate in England, why would they give that up? Augustus’ family is from Germany and they have a meat/butcher business set up there, are they supposed to just drop it and move to this strange place?

Things do eventually work out though, and an agreement/deal is made...

Augustus becomes the taste tester for new candies, and he offers up some of his own ideas, as well as some of his own critiques or comments on each idea that Wonka and Charlie present to him. He decides to he healthier, however, and he learns to control himself instead of eating everything in sight - he enjoys things in moderation. As an added bonus, running around the factory as well as healthier eating means he sheds some weight too. His parents manage to set up a butcher business in the town, though it takes a while for them to get used to the way things are and to earn respect/customers; Augustus still visits them regularly, and they have family dinners at least once a week, sometimes with the other Golden Ticket winners joining them.

Violet uses her competitive nature to help with advertising and marketing Wonka products - her competitive nature makes her want to make sure that Wonka candy is the best and number one most bought candy in the whole world. Sales are constantly booming because of her and her marketing techniques - Wonka candy has truly never been so popular, which really says something. Her mother is still blue and flexible, but Violet visits her and soon Mrs Beauregarde learns to be proud of her daughter and what she’s achieving instead of trying to push her to be a mini version of herself.

Mike is somewhat of an expert when it comes to television, and he’s incredibly smart. He’s in charge of helping in the television room (running experiments on different candies to test the boundaries of teleporting food to television sets, etc), helping in the inventing room, and in making sure all of the machines are running properly in each room of the factory. He knows the technical stuff, the physics of how everything should work, but he also becomes a little more open minded about things because clearly Wonka’s factory defies all laws of physics a lot of the time, so he learns how much of it applies to Wonka’s factory and what doesn’t, which helps him understand the machines/science behind the work they’re doing. Given what happened to Mr Teavee, the family do move to be closer to the factory - after all, it kind of makes it difficult for the kids he teaches Geography to in high school to take him seriously when he’s...well, the way he is now. They move Mike’s video games into a television room of the factory - but he plays far less than he used to, and watches less television than he did before. His parents notice that he’s less angry, though still incredibly intelligent and full of snark - they still don’t understand what he’s talking about most of the time, but he’s more pleasant to be around and talk to; he’s more excited and eager to share information rather than snapping or looking down on people.

Veruca is arguably one of the most important people in the team. Veruca is heiress to the Salt Nut business, and so she organizes a merger between Wonka and her father for the factory to start using nuts from the Salt business in their candies. Mr Salt’s Factory continues to use human workers, and they shell nuts just as they did before, selling them as they are; Wonka’s factory uses squirrels of course, and the nuts are used in candy. Other than this, Veruca starts to learn business skills from both her father and Willy Wonka, and she’s in charge of handling the factory’s finances, such as budgeting, keeping accounts of investments and incomes, and making sure that the factory has the money for Wonka and Charlie to pursue their new ideas. Her father and mother aren’t exactly keen, however, on moving into the town and into that apartment Wonka has built for the families of the other winners - they enjoy their lavish lifestyle too much. Her father comes every weekend or so for a stay, and her mother once a month - surprisingly, it doesn’t bother her that much after a while, because she’s always known deep down that her parents have never been sure on how to love her properly. Her pets are back on the estate, with her parents, which she visits for a rare holiday from time to time - perhaps she even brings one or two with her back to the factory, on the condition that they remain on the top floor where the children’s bedrooms are, and they go nowhere near any food production areas.

Charlie, of course, is Willy Wonka’s heir and becomes his protégé, a chocolatier in the making. He has much to learn but he’s always eager and enthusiastic even if they’re having a slow day with hardly any ideas or breakthroughs. He’s working with Wonka, someone he idolizes/looks up to, and they develop a wonderful working relationship; Charlie looks up to his mentor, and Willy Wonka actually learns stuff from Charlie too. Charlie’s happy because his family are all living in the factory with him, and he knows this is where he’s meant to be. Life is good and he doesn’t take it for granted.

The kids actually all become friends, and it’s nice because none of them have actually had real friends before; Augustus was bullied for his size, Violet’s competitiveness drove others away and she was “too busy” for friends, Veruca didn’t have real friends but rather people who hung onto her and tried to get close to her due to her money, Mike was always too busy watching TV or playing games to bother with friends, and Charlie was somewhat of an outcast due to the fact his family was poor and he had secondhand/“poor” clothes. Working together leads them all to becoming friends.

The Bucket family - who have always struggled to feed the seven in their family - now has enough food for them all and more. They happily invite the children and Willy Wonka to dinner with them every single night, and it becomes a normal part of the evening; the five children happily chatting and laughing, just being kids, the adults chuckling with them, all of them eating until they can’t anymore. Augustus, Violet, Veruca and Mike see what a real family can be, and soon they feel like they’re part of the Bucket family themselves. The other parents are even invited to dinner with the Buckets on special occasions, and - with the exception of the Salts - everyone usually takes up their offer. Eventually though, the Salt parents do slowly start to come around - for Veruca’s sake more than anything else. They still see themselves as better than the others, and they’re kind of stiff towards the other parents/adults, but they agree to dinners on special occasions since it means they’ll get to see their daughter.

To be honest, the kids are all really happy with life nowadays; they’re happy because they’re all friends and they’re all a part of something special - they’ve all truly changed for the better. The friendship between these five lucky kids is sure to be one that lasts a lifetime.

Life has never been better or sweeter.

#charlie and the chocolate factory #augustus gloop #violet beauregarde #veruca salt #mike teavee #charlie bucket #willy wonka #long post is long

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writing-with-olive · 4 years

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A starting place for self-editing your novel

I wrote this in a reblog to one of @boy-who-can-fly‘s posts, but as I couldn’t add any tags to that that would make it findable to more than just my followers, I figured I’d make the same content in an original post because YAY TAGS!

Without further ado...

1) Take a break.

Some authors have suggested taking a break for six or so weeks, but I find anything longer than three makes me too distanced from my story, and I have to work a lot harder to get back into my protagonist’s head. During this break, don’t so much as look at your story. Instead, focus on something else. Maybe growing your author platform, planning or developing another wip, or researching the publishing industry if publishing is the end goal for your book (this goes for both traditional and self pub). The point of this is that without some distance, it’s going to be a lot harder to see larger developmental flaws.

(this is a very long post, so the rest of the steps are below the break)

2) The first read-through.

After your break has ended, and you’ve got to be a little stern with yourself not to extend it farther than what you set, or else you’ll never return to it, do a readthrough. This means either just reading it off you’re computer or kindle, or going to somewhere like staples and getting it printed and spiral bound (this costs money, but I found it helpful down the line). Two rules: 1) no editing. 2) look at the first rule. This read-through is going to help give you a general sense of what is and isn’t working in your book; the problems you notice here are likely going to be the biggest ones. (if you want, you can combine this step with step three, but I found it more helpful to keep them seperate)

3) Outline.

It doesn’t matter whether you outlined before, or whether you decided to pants it. By the time you get to editing, you need to have an outline that’s reflective of what you actually put on the page. Go through your story, chapter by chapter, and for each new scene write down

what is your character’s goal in this scene

what is standing in their way

what is the outcome of the scene.

This list should not go into depth; one short sentece per point, MAX. That being said, make sure to keep things specific, so “MC wants to convice X to go with them to Y.” is going to be a lot more useful to you later on than “MC tries to convince them to go.” This outline is going to help you objectively look at your story structure, as you can see a lot more of what’s happening at once, without being quite so overwhelmed by the sheer mass of the words you wrote. Yes, this step can be a bit tedious, but it is so, so worth it.

4) Sort out what you need to fix, aka start making a game plan for your edits.

Now that you’ve read through your wip at least once through, and probably twice, you probably have a pretty good idea of what you need to fix. The key here is that right now, you want to be fixing on the global edits - the things that span beyond just a single scene or chapter. The reason why is that you don’t want to be spending hours perfecting a scene that you’re just going to need to cut later because it doesn’t advance the plot.

In a new document or spreadsheet (whatever you think will work better for you, I liked using a google doc), write issues you see with:

Each of your main cast (regarding character development, motivations voice, etc)

Setting/s (consistancy, realism for your world)

General worldbuilding (consistancy, things poorly explained/set up)

Main plot (following a given plot structure, building tension, etc)

Each subplot (how it intertwines with the main plot, plot structure, building tension, etc)

Other major things you noticed during your readthroughs

These things tend to be larger scope, and generally are worth addressing first.

5) Picking your edit.

Look at the list of edits, and see which one is going to cause the most ripples through your story. This is going to be the first thing you look at to fix. If there are more than one edits that will all have major impacts on the story, think about which edit would make the other ones easier.

For example, in my wip, Project Toxin, my plot was, well, a trainwreck and a dumpster fire’s love child. But my characterization for my MC was also a wreck. Still, getting the overall plot more in order would make it easier for me to edit my MC, so I chose plot first.

6) Make a game plan for your edit.

Before diving in and ripping through your first draft, come up with a game plan. Brainstorm possible solutions to the edit you’ve chosen, and look at what ripples it would cause. You want to make sure that what route you take isn’t going to upset something major or crucial to your story. Most likely whatever solution you choose will cause some other upsets, so just make sure to think through what makes most sense for your story.

For example, when working on my story, I was fixing plot first. Figuring out my game plan meant looking at my scene list and moving things around/adding/cutting content until I had a plot that was much more satisfactory, and that was, in my mind, not a wreck.

Possible game plans for different types of edits:

1. Plot:

Look at your scene list. What helps to advance the plot? What is dragging the pacing. Are there any elements that you are adding or cutting in your overall story that need to be accounted for? With this in mind, cross out scenes that you want to cut, move scenes around that need to come in a different order, add scenes that need to be added, and mark scenes that need to be combined into one.

2. Characters:

For each of your characters, look at their character development. It’s going to be hard to make them come to life better on the page unless you’ve got a grasp of who they are, even if you didn’t plan them out originally. If you have not, consider listing in a spreadsheet or google doc what their backstory is, what their goals are, why they want those goals, and what a few of their strengths and weaknesses are. Also think about their voice: what words do they use more often? Sentence structures? What do they sound like when they’re talking? Stuff like that. If your character is inconsistant, pick one version of them that you want to follow (knowing that they will likely change over the course of the story), and look at what parts of them you will need to change to accomodate that.

3. Setting/Worldbuilding:

I’ve put these together here as they’re somewhat similar. For poorly explained aspects of worldbuilding, look at where you might add in little details so you can better set that foundation (this is not usually a global edit). If things are inconsistant, look at what makes the most sense for your story, and like what we talked about with characters, alter the rest to accomodate that.

7) Making edits.

This is where you really get to dig in and really move things around. Using the edit you’ve picked and the game plan you’ve developed, go through scene by scene and make the changes. I strongly recommend having a seperate doc from your rough draft to store your second draft in. Currently, my process is to have both open at the same time, and if a scene is already fine, I’ll just copy/paste it over. At least for me, however, it’s usually not, and I’ll either make tweaks to fix it up, or, more often at this early stage, I’ll rewrite it. As an added bonus, I also find that rewriting it makes my prose a lot stronger, since I’ve grown so much as a writer since I originally wrote the scene.

Since you know your story better, you may find other elements that you want to change are improving as you edit. If not though, don’t worry - they’ll get their own editing pass.

8) Repeat steps 5-7

You made a list of edits you needed to make back in step four. Now, follow steps 5-7 to make all of those edits and changes.

9) Repeat steps 2-8

Two steps telling you to repeat in a row? Yes. The deal now is that you want to make sure you’ve cleaned up any global edits before moving on to anything smaller. If you’ve been thourough thus far, this will be a very fast step. If not, think of this step as a safety net. There may have been ripples that you didn’t notice earlier on, and it’s a good thing you’re catching them now.

10) Chapter edits

At this point, we’ve cleaned up all the big edits. Now we’re going to look at each chapter. Within each chapter, there needs to be a mini-arc. A beginning, middle, and end. This is the time to really focus on that. Also focus on things like tightening up prose, combining or compressing paragraphs, making sure you’ve adequately set the scene, etc. If you’re over the word count limit regarding your genre, also focus on cutting a certain number of words from each chapter to put your story back within those limits.

11) The little things

This is about combing through your wip to find all of the little errors that have made their way through edits. Typos, weird or incorrect grammar, useless adverbs, things like that. At this point, everything is on a more superficial level.

Beta Readers

Given that this has gotten quite long, I’m not going to go in depth about beta readers here, but around step 10/11, you’re going to start recruiting beta readers (you’re going to want to try and have multiple rounds of somewhere around 10 betas each, which is why having a good author platform is useful: recruiting is easier). Between each round, you’re going to look at their feedback and make the necessary edits. After several rounds of beta readers, you’re going to look it over a few more times, and then if you’re going the traditional publishing route, you’re going to query agents. If you’re going the self-pub route you’re going to look to hire a professional editor. If you’re not looking to publish, this may be the end of the line.

Good luck editing!

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calpops · 4 years

Text

collision | a.i.

In which Ashton owns a record shop and you work in a bookstore a block over. A missing book, a collision and a broken binding bring you together.

Word count: 1k

***

Ashton never usually roams too far from the street his record shop Music Mayhem is on. The store admittedly rules a huge part of his life. He’d raised it from the ground up with his best friend Calum. It dictated most of his free time, if he wasn’t behind the counter for purchases he was perusing the aisles or the back to keep a mental inventory. Even the moments he found himself outside the same poster splashed walls it was usually all tied back to the shop in some way. He’d stop in at Past Presents, the antique shop just a couple buildings up the block, to search for answers or pieces of musical past. The owner Luke always had pieces worth purchasing or advice on vintage players. He also made his daily iced coffee run to the bakery across the street; his good friend Michael enabling his habit with the best brew he’d ever tasted.

Today he finds himself a block over; to the bookstore he’d only ever seen in a rush as he passed. It stands small against buildings double its size, but there’s a certain charm that captures the brick littered with ivy and windows with flower boxes overrun by bright zinnias. Ashton can tell it’s dimly lit just through the windows, shadows dancing across the short spaces and dark wooden shelves seemingly lost in the lack of light. He wonders if it’s even open for a moment but a person cuts past a window and affirms that it is. He’s in search of something specific; looking to replace a book he lost some time ago, only now realizing it no longer sits among the chaos of his overfilled bookshelf. It’s a rare find, written by a local author and out of print. He only hopes he can find it among the used books.

He strolls in and as his eyes adjust to the lighting he spots a table filled with used books. They lay in piles, books askew on top of one another, a mess of literature marked for a dollar with covers and pages creased and worn from time. He walks over with expectations low and sifts through the piles, careful not to damage the books any further.

He has no luck in his endeavors. He double checks just to make sure and sighs in defeat when he comes up empty. He spins around to head back to the doors but stops short and into a collision. A handful of books fall to the floor with resounding thuds and so does a person Ashton has never seen before. His own balance is thrown off as he stumbles but catches himself on the edge of the table, rights himself quickly and looks down at the chaos he inadvertently and accidentally caused.

You look up at him and he goes breathless. Your eyes are wild with worry as you gaze back down at the books now littering the floor. Ashton drops to a knee in an offering of help as your shaking hands reach to recollect them.

“I’m so sorry,” Ashton apologizes and begins to stack the fallen books.

“No, no. I’m sorry. It’s my fault. I took more than I could handle,” you explain while you shake your head in denial of his apology and thumb over a cover that seems to have an extra crease from the way it fell. You sigh and add it to the pile you’ve begun stacking.

“I should watch where I’m going,” Ashton says in an attempt to alleviate your guilt. There’s something in your voice that pulls at his heart strings. Something in your eyes that tells him you’re worth defending.

You both go silent for a moment as the task at hand becomes you. You both reach for the same book, fingers brushing fingers and pulling away quick. Ashton bites his lip and lets you reach for it, but the book falls from its binding and a horrified gasp falls from your lips as the pages splay out onto the floor.

Ashton moves to help quickly, catching the pages and putting them back together in some semblance of what they were before. The cover lays on the floor and the title finally catches his eye. It’s the book he was looking for; a hardbound cover with different colors from the paperback he used to have making it nearly unrecognizable. A tiny laugh rolls out of Ashton but cuts short when he sees your shining eyes and flushed face.

“This is exactly what I was looking for, actually,” Ashton says as he shoves loose pages back into the binding. He hopes his words will comfort you but realizes quite quickly they have the opposite effect.

“I-I’m so sorry, I can try to track down another copy for you I know we don’t have another in stock but we have a sister store in another city I could call and-“ you say in a nervous rush but Ashton smiles and reassures you.

“I actually know a guy who can fix this,” Ashton promises, broken book still in hand and a collection of the other fallen ones under his arm. He starts to stand and so do you, with your own pile of books in hand. “He owns an antique shop. He’s always binding old books, it’s no big deal.”

“Are you sure?” You ask as you both discard the books into the pile on the table. Ashton nods and heads towards the register, throwing you a look as if to communicate he wants to be rung up by you. When you take his hint and follow his lead another rush of words falls out of you.

“You don’t have to pay for it it’s damaged it’ll cost more to fix than buy I can have my wages docked by a dollar for ruining inventory...”

Ashton laughs and hands over a bill. “No need to get in trouble for something I caused, yeah?”

You hesitantly take the money and nod. “Could I at least… buy you a coffee sometime to make up for it?”

“Are you asking me on a date?” Ashton inquires with a raised eyebrow and hope flooding his heart. You blush and butterflies accompany the hope. You nod. “Then, of course.”

You agree to meet for coffee the next day during your break at the bakery a block over; Sweet Stuff being Ashton’s recommendation. Ashton leaves the bookstore with loose pages in broken binding, with a plan for tomorrow and more than he bargained for. Hope and butterflies linger and Ashton’s sure they will stay until he gets to see you again.

***

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Tagged: @rosecolouredash @irwinkitten @golden-hood @who-do-you-love-5sos @caswinchester2000 @wildflowergrae @empathycth @cuddlemecalx @calumsmermaid @babylon-corgis @outerspaceisbetterthannothing @mariellelovescupcakes @xhaileyreneex @goth5sos @gosh-im-short @feliznavidaddycal @loveroflrh @findingliam-o @flowerthug @g-l-pierce @talkfastromance4 @cashtonasfuck @sc0ttish-wildfl0wer @wastedheartcth @calumscalm @thesubtweeter @akafeliznavidaddy @myloverboyash @treatallwithkindness @cals-wildflower @wiildflower-xxx @calum-uncrowned @egyptiangoldhood

#ashton irwin #ashton irwin blurbs #ashton irwin imagines #5sos blurbs #5sos imagines #ashton irwin x you #ashton irwin x reader #5sos x you #5sos x reader #rs!ash #business!sos

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weirdmarioenemies · 5 years

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The best of Mario Kart in-universe sponsors!

Have you ever noticed those advertisements around the courses in the Mario Kart games? Surely you have, but because of the very nature of a racing game, maybe you were never able to pay them much attention. Not anymore! Thanks to, of course, the Super Mario Wiki, you can peruse them to your heart’s content. And today we’ll be looking at some of my personal favorites!

We’re starting off strong with BaNaNaBoy, who delightfully urges us to “Let one slip!” Is... this a play on “let one rip”? Is this a company trying to sell us banana peels by using a fart joke? Because it would work on me! Especially coupled with the bizarre capitalization, and the implication of some sort of Boy, who I assume is the sentient peel we see here.

Next we have one from Super Mario 64, the first installment to do these at all. Often, these advertisements will just be a character’s name, but this one goes the extra mile and adds an ‘s, transforming it from a beloved Mario character to a generic Italian restaurant name!

Kamek’s Magic Show isn’t necessarily “funny”, but dang is it cool! Kamek is pretty great, isn’t he? It’s always nice to see him get some love, especially with this one hearkening back to the Yoshi’s Island art style. I am also wondering how impressive a magic show is when you live in a world where magic is blatantly real and everyone knows about it. Would it be like us going to a show where someone just flushes a toilet or something?

Here we have an advertisement for Yoshi’s Egg, and wouldn’t you know it, it’s even NEW! Yoshi just laid this single egg, and it’s still fresh and warm! What are you waiting for? Go purchase it before someone else does!

I’m pretty sure “BIRDO WATCHING !” is supposed to be a play on “bird watching”, but I prefer to think of it as Birdo having her eye on you at all times, which I’m assuming she’s doing by secret cameras in the eyes of this poster.

This is simply an advertisement for sherbet. Not a specific brand or anything, just someone urging you to enjoy this frozen treat. I can dig it!

SUPER WARIO

Here we see an image from an AU where Waluigi did NOT absorb his identical twin in the womb!

The rest will be under the cut so this doesn’t get too long! There are a whole lot more!

Wario Pharmacy? No thank you! I don’t trust that guy around my immune system!

Some of these advertisements are downright baffling. Like Yoshi Yoshi. Is this an advertisement for Yoshi? Is it trying to sell us something? Is it written in Yoshi language? Some real human had to have some reason to design this and put it in the game, and none of us will ever know that reason.

This one is very clear what it’s advertising, though. It’s advertising danger! You may think the very act of giving danger a platform would be dangerous, but this is a warning! Take it straight from this Chomp’s mouth!

This one wouldn’t be all that funny... if not for what we know it said in the original version!

And here we have an advertisement for a snowman. Buy one if you want people to think you’re all about winter fun but don’t actually care enough to put in the effort!

There are... a lot of Yoshi’s Egg advertisements, huh?

Here we have a land creature advertising an aquarium for some reason. There’s no subtitle, so maybe it’s the only aquarium in the Mario world. Maybe they don’t know what an aquarium is. Cut them some slack.

Now THIS is what I’m talking about! As both an environmentalist and a Mario scholar! Not only is this an ad for sustainable energy, but it’s a hint at how powerups can be integrated into everyday life in this world! Far out!

Same for this one, which seems to somehow reverse-engineer antifreeze from Ice Flowers! Maybe it’s like how you need venom to make antivenom.

I’m assuming this one insures your car not with money, but just by giving it extra lives, so if it gets destroyed you just get an entire new one instantly.

The Mushroom Moon, as we can see, is a musical in which Mario is trapped in the moon, and Peach can only look on hopefully as Petey Piranha (played by Yoshi) must scale a building to try and bust him out.

TRICKS!! Don’t forget about tricks! Did you forget? Here’s your reminder! Tricks are cool!

Can’t relate! Sorry!

What fun! Yippee!

There are a few Galaxy Air ads for different courses in Mario Kart 8, but my favorite is this one, trying to get you to take a vacation to a desert that is so dry its name contains the word twice.

OK WE GET IT

Here we begin to question the status of Yoshis as a species! Are these sentient beings still treated as animals in this world? Are they at all endangered?! Maybe they’d be safer if you didn’t urge everyone so fervently to buy their eggs!

This one speaks for itself, and I think we can agree it’s one of the objective best ones.

Now here’s some of the good stuff, from the arcade games! This one’s from the Diamond City track, an extremely rare acknowledgement of WarioWare in the “core” Mario series! But for some reason they made it heavy on E. Gadd references above all else. I love E. Gadd, but come on! This is Dr. Crygor’s turf!

But regardless, please notice “made in wario WARIO CAMPANY”

Here’s some more really cool Kamek art! Mario Kart gives him some cool art considering he’s STILL NEVER BEEN PLAYABLE IN IT EVER.

Ah, Baby Land... the mystical land where babies come from. From Baby Land we are created, and to Baby Land we shall return to gasp our final breaths.

I don’t think it’s wise to advertise that you do graffiti, especially with your face right there on the sign! The fuzz is gonna see! You’re gonna have to cheese it!

SHARKs -Park-

I just don’t know, okay?!

And now, we come to my personal favorite...

This was in a big budget arcade game in 2013!

#mario #mario kart #mod chikako

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popculturebuffet · 4 years

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The Three Caballeros Movie Review: Rejoice Now Donald’s Been Laid (Commission)

It’s time at long last we talked about those three happy chappies in snappy serapes. Who say so? @weirdkev27 say so! He’s planning on funding an ENTIRE retrospective on the boys, so in addition to my Tom Lucitor Retrospective (Expect that to return very soon as one of the episodes in it is time sensitive), Road to Just Us Justice Ducks, and look at “The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck”. I’m proud to announce a new recurring feature on this blog “The Ride of the Three Caballeros!”, a look back at these birds of a feather who flock together and their wild and wonderful history cumulating in “The Legend of The Three Caballeros”. Honestly I thank Kev for the idea as it’s a damn good one. Ever since seeing them on House of Mouse, which I both really need to cover and Disney needs to add already as we’re a year into Disney plus already, I’ve loved Jose and Panchito, and reading barks story years ago, and again recently, gave me a lasting love of these goofs. They have great snappy designs are the rare pre-ducktales 2017 non duck bird character, and have wonderful personalities. There’s nothing not to love and thus nothing not to love about covering their adventures. So i’m excited for this and not just for the much needed christmas money. Naturally we’re starting the adventure here with the founding of the trio, though Kev, for now he could change his mind, choose to start with this movie instead of it’s predecessor Saludos Amigos, on this date for two reasons. The first is it’s Friday the 13th, which besides being the basis for an utter classic of a Hey Arnold episode

Which yes for those unfamiliar with Hey Arnold features Arnold dealing with a spell of bad luck, some bullies and his grandmother dressing up wlike a black cat to rescue black cats, which is sweet.. and training them into her horrifying army of the damned, which is somehow still sweet as it is awesome. It’s also the day this guy barges into my house thinking it’s camp crystal lake

I swear to gods Jason GET A FUCKING PHONE WITH GPS. We are not clearly not teenagers. And he’s always so embarrassed and the stab wounds always take so long at the hospital to treat. It’s just a mess. But it’s also, according to this film Donald’s BIrthday! This was during an earlier point in his career, that will be important in a bit, so Disney hadn’t yet settled on their tradition of having their characters birthday’s being the same date as their first appearance. For the record that would make Donald and Della’s current birthday June 7th. I did a special on Donald Duck shorts for it this year. Not sure what i’ll do the next. We will see. And for fun and my own curiosity I looked up the birthdates of some of the other Ducktales castmembers as well as my boys here They are:

Jose: August 24th (World Premier of Saludos Amigos) Panchito: December 21st (The Mexico City Premiere Date for this very movie) Scrooge: November 14th (Thank you INducks seriously it’s a massive help with this. Daisy: June 7th (Debut of Mr. Duck Steps out) Huey, Dewey and Louie: October 17th (First appearance in Donald’s Newspaper Strip) Webby, Beakley and Launchpad: September 18th, thanks to launchpad’s driver’s license as well as all three characters debuting in the opening arc. Though to separate them i’d likely try to find different dates for both. For now i’m going with October 12th for Mrs. Beakly (The airing date for the Ducktales 87 ep maid of myth) and October 29th for Webby (the airing date for another 87 episode, this one about webby and a horse). Gladstone: August 15th, as while it was released in january there is no firm release date for it. Plus a summer birthday fits him better anyways. Thank you Inducks for that. Magica: September 28th, finally a firm publication date. While there’s a creation date unlike Gladstone I see no need to use it. Darkwing Duck/Drake Mallard: September 6th GLOMGOLD: July 26th Was that entirely necessary? No Would I do it again.. absolutely. It also means I really need to do something for Scrooge’s Birthday in two days. But that’s future me’s problem. Current day me has his own problems specifically a movie review to continue. The films genesis was a in a good will tour Disney did in South America, as part of America’s Good Neighbor Policy. FDR started it in order to try and strengthen ties between Latin America and North America, to prevent any sort of war with our close neighbors and to foster good economic ties between both as well as integrate Latin culture into americans lives to make them care about those countries more. And given it was started as HItler’s rise to power grew, and America knew they’d inevitably be dragged into World War II, and thus wanted to put the kibosh on several Latin American’s Nazi Ties. So in exchange for Money, since Disney was struggling due to overextending itself and the big animator’s strike at the time, The US sent Walt and some of his animatiors to South America, where MIckey Donald and Goofy were big and to make a film based there. Hence we got Saludos Amigos which is .. kind of forgettable to be honest, though the Gaucho Goofy segment is fantastic as the “How to” shorts with goofy around the time usually were. But the film gave us Jose, hence why Donald and him are familiar with each other here, and was a moderate success. This lead to the Goverment, who’d already contracted a bunch of propaganda, one of which I covered in my Donald Duck Shorts Birthday Marathon because it contained prototypes for Gladstone and Scrooge, so another feature for South America was a win win: The US got another way to strengthen ties between the Americas, and Disney got a film they could put out during said war to lift spirits, as well as on that would likely be a hit in South America due to them not being under wartime money crunch or the misery of having a war looming overhead. As a side note. I found out after looking at the wikpiedia article on The Good Neighbor Program.. it eventually and sadly collapsed as the US post WWII shifted to the Cold War and thus threw away non interference if it meant beating the Russians. Classy. So yeah.. this film and i’ts predecessor are technically propaganda pictures. There was also another disney full length propoganda picture about fighter jets, I only learned about this thanks to the slashfilm article I found on the movie that told me a lot of this in the first place. It’s not avaliable but it should be.. though at the very least unlike say House of Mouse, Wander Over Yonder, Penn Zero: Part Time Hero, American Dragon Jake Long, The Weekenders, Pepper Anne and MANY more, it’s absence from Disney + makes sense. And I will continue to bitch about this till Disney actually starts adding more legacy animated shows, or at least makes a few of it’s own, though I will concede reviving the Mickey Mouse shorts that Disney Channel started up is a VERY good first step and i’m sure What If and Proud Family: Louder and Prouder will be fine. I just want more animation content on the streaming platform of one of the biggest animation studios in the world with one of the most storied histories. I’m REALLY not asking a lot.

That bit of bitching aside I will give Disney+ credit where it’s due. The service offers MOST of the Disney vault for a very reasonable price a month, in crisp HD, and thus allows someone like me, who hasn’t really dived into the disney vault and slept on watching three cabs despite borrowing it from some friends, to dive into beautiful animation like this any time. It also allows me to explore disney’s older films, the ones I want to anyway, at my leisure and it’s a REALLY nice feeling. It’s also nice to have all the various animated shows in nice clean copies. So while there are sizeable gaps in the library, many of which as highlighted above have no reason for not being there and some like Song of the South have DAMN GOOD reason for never being there, I still apricate the service for being a vast, glorious digital library of Disney content as well as stuff they’ve acquired like the marvel show library, and this review would not have been as easy to do without it. So with my opinions on D+ and the exposition for WHY this exists out of the way, as I couldn’t find much else on this flim’s background, join me after the read more for a full review of the film! Who says so? I says so!

We open with.. the Disney+ content warning again. In my review of the last part of “Catch as Cash Can” I went on about how much I apricated it and it stands: while i’m not blind that it’s a blanket statement to cover disney’s rears, it’s still apricated for them to care enough to force the content warning on the viewer. Given how bad they usually are at falling on the right side of history, this is very admirable. Though thankfully this film isn’t as offensive as the last content warning I got for the last part of “Catch as Cash can” aka “Watch registered White Guy Hamilton Camp play a bad indian sterotype for 22 minutes while my soul slowly dies”. Here there are bits, which i’ll get to now to save me the trouble later: The Littlest Gaucho’s side characters are all drawn pretty carcturish and a bit cringe inducing. The other is of course Panchito our Mexican representative.. who wears a sombrero and shoots two pistols around. And there’s just a tinge of white man going ot another country to get laid with the way Donald behaves throughout the picture. Basically little touches here and there but nothing that spoils the picture overall or makes whole scenes unwatchable. Still worth having the warning up, but not worth getting too worked up over. So onto the film itself and as mentioned i’ts Donald’s birthday! And I will say the film has lots of great little gags here and there.. I won’t be pointing all of them out because this film was 70 minutes long but their very charming. HIs first gift is a projector and screen.. which he naturally has to fight to get working and which first projects on his ass, already a good start. And a general thought I like is how receptive Donald is to soaking in another culture. He just seems joyusly enthralled by the various films, gifts and places his friends bring him..

But again we’ll get to that. Point is it’s very nice to see Disney portay learning about another culture so positively and with such a hot head as donald. Even if i’ts in part to appease the US Goverment, ther’es a genuine feeling that they truly fell in love with these countries and aren’t JUST shilling them because it’s in their contract, but because they genuinelly liked it there. So with that we get to our first segment. See the film is one of Disney’s Package films, anthology films taking a bunch of short segments and pasting them together, but here it’s framed through the narrative of DOnald’s birthday, so there is KIND of a plot.. but it’s mostly an excuse for musical numbers, short films, and more musical numbers.

Dammit Elmo, we will get to it! So naturally i’l lbe dividing up this review into various pieces. First up...

1. The Cold Blooded Penguin: Life of Pablo, The Good Version This is a brief but endearing short about a Penguin named Pablo who dosen’t like cold weather, can relate, and wants to move to some tropical paradise, again can relate. It’s BARELY related to the theme of hte movie, celebrating Central and South America, but it’s so damn charming I can’t help but love it. And Pablo is so damn adorable, as are his friends. I mean look at him.

He’s just so precious and you just want him to finally get to his paradise with the help of his friend, his boiler there smokey joe, and root for him as his farewell party dwindles from a bunch of penguins to just bob and gary here.

I may love Gary, the tall one, more than I love Pablo honestly> His sad eyes or the way he’s the ONLY one who sticks it out to the end, seeing Pablo off at last. Pablo’s first attempts, going without his boiler, which just ends iwth him freezing and attempting to carry smokey joe on his back both fail, he eventually decides to go with a boat and cleverly simply saws the ice berg he’s on so it’ll drift with his house and possessions, and has Gary hit it with a bottle both to christen it and to send it flying. Plus having bags on the bags on my eyes myself, I can relate to their tired expressions. As can we all after this year. Just a month and a half and it’s finally blessedly over.

Pablo makes his way through, finally finding his island only to nearly have his iceberg melt before he gets there. But he persevers and gets his paradise, even adorably eating a banana> Though it ends on a mealoncholy yet still funny note of Pablo missing home even though he has a pet turtle/butler now. Man I want one of those. One final note is that the short is narrated greatly by Sterling Holloway.. aka the future WInnie The Pooh using that exact voice which while a little weird in hindsight, just makes the short that more adorable if you imagine Pooh is reading a story to you. Just a really damn cute short with some good and intentive gags, and penguins. I mean i’ll be honest I have a soft spot in my hart for those tudeoxed boys thanks to the comic strip BLoom County and it’s lead character Opus taking up a LOT of real estate in my heart and brain. Here’s a few samples of him just so you get why.

Just a sweetheart. Though his honker would grow exponenitally with time. And once get grabbed by a card carrying MAGA asshole. But I can talk about my boy here and this strip again another day. Point is I may love pengies but even that aside this is a good short and a good way to start things off. Sadlly the pacing then lops out a bit as the next two bits aren’t QUITE as entertaining.

2. Birds Birds Birds: Of Arcuan BIrds and Toucan Sex Donald then watches a film on birds, and i’ts basically just a bunch of short funny gags with various tropical birds. There are a FEW notable bit sin the short, and I will get to them now, but otherwise it’s just okay.. not great but not exactly memorable. I honestly forgot there was anything BUT the Arcuan bird in this bit. Speaking of which A) The Arcuan Bird, a hyperactive pink little guy who makes a little “yatatata” noise, and boops donald a bit and later shows up in the film to steal Jose’s Cigar. Easily the most entertaining part of this section and there’s a reason why he became a massive fan faviorite, as well as got a more expanded roll in Legend of the Three Cablleros. He’d also apparently later return for another Package Film. What a bird. B) There’s a bit with Toucans, which I remember because I freaking love Toucans, the big colorful beaks look neat contrasted with their black and white bodies and they seem friendly and the one fictional one besides Toucan Sam I can rmemeber is Tuca of Tuca and Bertie. Nuff said. And because they mention the Tucan’s making love. First off this is how a Tucan makes love.

And secondly, clealry the term has evolved considerably, but it’s still chuckle inducing to have that term in a disney movie, especially since it makes me think of a number of things most notably this.

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Which, fun fact, is the song that will likely be sung when Donald and Daisy finally have sex in the Ducktales Reboot. Della didn’t buy those choir robes for nothing. Though the joke here is simply that they can’t kiss because they have big noses. GET IT. Though I have seen incompatable noses end marriages.

See I told you his honker got bigger. Okay onto the 3rd thing from this bit.

C) The Flamingos, who retract into themselves while Donald adorably copies. What a boy. With that I can move on from this segement thankfully and onto... an even worse one!.. wait...

3. The Littlest Gaucho: The Boring One This one’s a leftover from Saludos Amigos, likely because that one already had a Gaucho Bit with goofy and because it’s not very good. But Disney was strapped for cash so use everything you got. And yes I advocated for using everything in my review of life and times part 1.. but that’s more for a shared universe and left “Oh hey I found this short in our garbage let’s put it in another movie to save money” way. I appreciate being cheap, I myself am unemployed and right now these reviews are my source of income, but you could’ve just you know.. let the film be shorter? You didn’t have to waste animation leading inito this bit. This one is the story of a young boy, as narrated by his older self who can somehow see through the veil of time and yell at his younger self. How?

But it dosen’t really help the story as i’ve seen far better interactive narrators and ones clearly editing history. Especially since, despite ending on a VERY sour note, How I Met Your Mother was a pro at this. It’s not the film’s fault, but even back int he 40′s I swear they could do this better.

It’s the simple story of the little Gaucho finding a flying Donkey, befriending him, and then entering him in a jockey race which they win. There’s one or two good gags here, but it dosen’t have the cutness of the previous segments and only one or two good gags. It just feels like filler and if I watch the film again, which I probably will, I will fast forward past this. Thankfully after this we finally get a break.

4. A Song For Bahia: They call him JOSEEEEEEEEE.. and he’s Donald

Jose enters! Donald’s next gift is a book from Brazil that’s smoking..mostly because so’s Jose. The two friends reunite, with Jose in a story book asking Donald about , what I assume is Jose’s home state of Bahia, one of Brazil’s 20 states and spelled Baia in this movie for some reason. We then get an absolutely beautiful sequence of Jose’s voice actor singing about Bahia and showing off how beautiful the country is through gorgeous animation. It’s a really marvelous segment and really pretty to look at. And once that segment’s done the film starts to pick up in energy, though unlike the Gaucho segment, the Bahia song is actually good.

5. Os Quindins de Yayá: The Sleeper Has Awakened.. and by the sleeper I mean Donald’s Penis. There’s a few bits here. We start with the wonderful song, “Have You Ever Been to Bahia?”.. which is almost entirely Jose asking that to donald who says no, with some fun mindscrewy animation.. the film has not BEGUN to mindscrew, but we’ll get to that.

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Also for this segment Jose apparently has Jamie Madrox powers.. or he’s from Cragg.. either way, Donald hasn’t been to Baia so let’s go. The boys take a train, the Arucan messes things up again, etc etc and soon their in Baia where two major aspects of the film show up: Blending Live action with animation, and Donald being really horny. It’s not to a creepy degree outside of one segment, we’ll get there, but Donald being really into live action women is a major part of three segments of this film. If your wondering while Daisy had debuted, she wasn’t the ETCHED IN STONE, presence she’d become for Donald. Which I don’t have a problem with, I love them in Ducktales 2017, their one of the few tolerable aspects of the quack pack’s i’ve watched, and they were great in House of Mouse. I”m just saying some works don’t really have her around in them (Donald’s spy and papernik adventures), while other more charming and eligible women are, while others have her as outright abusive (Legend of the Three Caballeros). I’m not against Donsy when done properly, again huge fan of the Ducktales 2017 version of the couple, I just dont’ think it has to be mandatory. The fact the Italian comics made Donald a fairly likeable alien queen as a love interest proves it.

But yeah here Donald’s thirsty as fuck, can relate, and thus we get our next musical number.. and that blend of live action and animation. I will admit, especially on second viewing.. it’s pretty obvious their mostly using a green screened animated backdrop with the charcters on it. The other segments are much more integrated. That being said.. i’m perfectly fine with it, as Disney was on a really low budget, only able to get financing for package films like this since their main financer wouldn’t given them money for anything but shorts, so it was a workaround, not to mention having a mass talent exodus over the strike and World Fucking War II to contend with. So cheeping out on ONE segment in a large film, and STILL having it come out good is fine just fine. And it truly does, the segment centers around Yaya, a cookie seller and the object of Donald’s affections, though he gets mad when a guitar man slips in and woos her instead for a bit before eventually leaving her alone, with Donald getting a kiss. But while parts of that clearly haven’t aged well, it’s an utterly joyous and fun musical number in an already fun musical, and Aurora Miranda who plays Yaya, and is sister of Carmen Miranda something Disney actually put in promotional materials.... come to think of it I didn’t watch the trailer.. I’ll get to it in a moment. Point is, Miranda is very talented and it’s VERY fun number. Have a listen since the sequence itself is WAY to long to put video of up on youtube.

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And having watched the trailer during that music break, it’s not bad, I expected more cringe. The most I got was them calling the women “latin american lovlies” which.. seems.. wrong. But with the romance of Bahia setting and Donald dragged out by Jose, we can get into our next segement as, over halfway in, we finally get our third Cabllero

6. The Three Cablleros: Who Say So? We Say So!

HERE COMES THE PANCHITO Ladies and Gentleman and Others! HERE COMES THE PANCHITO! the moment you’ve been waiting for! HERE COMES THE PANCHITO! the pride of Mexico! HERE COMES PANCHITO! Panchito Pistoles!

When then meet Panchito who joyfully shoots guns around, because stereotype but thankfully he’s also joyful, jubilant and likeable much like his pal Jose. Panchito’s just a thoughtly likeable character and next to his smooth talking pal, it’s easy to see why the two became huge fan favorites. And thus we get our title track.

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IT’s a beautiful, fun segment, that while some portions, such as Panchito’s yelling or “some Latin baby’ haven’t aged particularly well, is still a fun colorful number with amazing music and great gags, that utterly sells our boys camaraderie. I have no notes, ten out of ten flawless classic number. Who Say So? I SAY SO! Also given both boys kiss Donald at some point.. yeah these boys are bi as fuck and damn i’ts awesome.

7. Mexico: Bored Again, Naturally. Donald then gets a pinata and we get a short story about a bunch of kids going around to places only to be told “no shelter no posada”. Like the Gauchito bit.. it’s pretty boring and nonconesquential and only gets a leg up due to being far shorter and a little adorable versus not really as adorable as the segement thinks it is. The kids end up at a party with a pinata. We do get a fun sequence after this nothing of a story of Donald batting a pinata around while the boys mess with him a bit. It’s fun stuff. Out of the PInata we get another storybook, and another slow segement of Panchito singing about mexico which is a less fluidly animated, and thus far less entertaining, version of the Bahia song.. diffrent song, same premise of a bird melodically and beautifully singing about his home land, but less engaging because it’s just still images. I get they were low on budget but while I can forigve that for the Yaya sequence.. this one.. I just can’t as they not only already did this, but did it less good the second time around. The song is lovely though, and I do miss a time in our culture when we looked at Mexico with fondness and didn’t have a FAR too large portion of our population think anyone from there should go back where they came when they come to our brave country to find shelter, aslym and opportunity just because they didn’t go through “proper channels’ even though that’s difficult. WHat i’m saying is fuck our immigration policy for the last 4 years, and bless the president-elect for planning to fix that ASAP. I felt it was worth mentioning in a review ABOUT a Mexican character who, in the reboot, is an immigrant to America.

8. Everybody Dance: Another fun number.

We’re onto Mexico and it’s time for another musical number

So our heroes dance, Donald hits on some more women.. stuff we’ve seen before but it’s still a fun beautiful song and unlike the last bit while the animation has clearly aged enough to be more obvious, it still looks great next to the various live action dancers and blends real well. A fun time that gives us more great music and another reminder from donald that...

I mean I get being thirsty as shit, again can relate.. but the next segment takes it from Donald and the Boys being kinda horny to.

9. The Beach: Donald Gets Creeptacular

Yeah this bit is .. less endearing. The boys fly the serape over to a beach, and divebomb the girls, which isn’t a sex act.. that i’m aware of. But yeah chasing around several women, and donald leaving the Serape to chase them around old beach movie/benie hill/trying my patience style. It’s cringe is what i’m saying as a man literally chasing a woman around is considered flirtitng here and that’s all kinds of EUGGGGHHHH. The previous segments had Donald be kind of respectful in his woman chasing: while he was pretty horny, he also tipped his hat, flirted a bit, asked to dance you know, normal shit.. not decided “let’s chase them with a serape that will turn them on!’ jesus.. yeah not much to say here either just.. really creepy. But we have not reached peak horny donald yet.. oh no.

10. Donald’s Surreal Revere: WHAT EXACTLY THE FUCK.

Dora Luz appears in the sky of Mexico after the boys exit the book and flip to Mexico’s night life... just go with hit and Donald swoons over her before joining her int he book and after getting a kiss from her and swooning over her.. has an acid trip. I .. I don’t know how else to describe Donald’s surreal reverie. It’s clear Walt just told the animators do whatever. I will TRY to describe this sequence as best I can, but I make no promises except what I describe is exactly what happened, see for yourself.

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Okay so after Dora’s magical floating kisses, just go with it, kiss donald he explodes, in a rocket blast clearly symbolizing his errection, then becomes a neon sign and a hummingbird, just go with it, tries to kiss Dora’s image appearing on a flower, then Jose and Panchito BURST out of the flower with tiny chipmunk voices and gun violence, a SCREAMING TECHNICOLOR TRANSTION, dora singing the song in the middle of a flower again , donald making out with the flower but it turning out ot be panchito with a giraffe neck saying “Some fun eh kid?”, donald falling through a sea of ladies, donald chasing the ladies on a serape. Donald’s disembodied head looking at the ladies before bursting out of the picture to chase them GOOD GOD DID WE NEED MORE OF THAT?! The boys ending up on female bodies and them some sort of horse abomination. Then we get into what must of inspiried a young david Lynch as donald kisses the flower agian, then ends up in one as they replay a creepy whispery recording of either Jose or Panchito saying pretty girls while we see still images of the girls from the beach. Hummingbird Flower Donald then has a romantic duet with a lady because WHY NOT at this point, then multiple donalds before he spins away. We get one last number with donald dancing with living cacti that turn into mini donald’s that’s slightly more sane and finally this bit is done. IN conclusion.

I just.. I have no words. The giant mess of text up there should explain it and I purposfully didn’t divy it up as i’ve been trying to do more often, as it deserves to be one long string of nonsense. I just.. it’s beautiful to look at but what the hell was that. Is this going to happen every time Donald and Daisy have sex? Is this what Donald’s brain is like all the time? Did Panchito inject him with pure liquid acid?

So yeah we thankfully conclude the film after that with

14. The Wrap UP The boys horse around with a bull and then heartwarmingly watch fireworks together.. there isn’t much to add it’s jsut fun to watch and a nice pallete cleanser after loosing my sanity. Isn’t that right keith david?

You always say that! So...

Final Thoughts: I’ve made my thoughts on the various segments clear, but what of the film as a whole? As a whole.. it’s pretty fun. Is it the best film Disney’s Produced? probably not. But it’s a fun, brisk 70 minutes, hampered by a few slow spots and some weird horny bits, and various segments feel like an acid trip despite having never taken acid. But our boys easlly anchor the surreality and thirst and all three have great chemistry both comedically, friendship wise and romantically. It’s also very easy to see why this film and it’s cablleros got big in Mexico and Brazil as the film seems like a love letter to both, and is fairly respectful. WHich for the time, sex tourism aside, is pretty damn inspried. So yeah in conclusion, this is a really fun memorable film, it was even better on a second watch and it’s an enjoyable colorful reminder of Disney’s package film era, which I might dig into a bit.. I just may have to borrow a copy of make mine music.. guess what just got added to my list of “why the fuck isn’t this on disney plussss?”

Regardless this was a fun review and auspcious start to the ride of the Cablleros. if you’d like to comission your own movie or tv review, hit up my ask box or submit box or shoot me an ask to get my discord. You can also join my patreon, patreon.com/popculturebuffet, Until then you can check this space for the various ongoing series mentioned and regular Ducktales coverage every monday. Until then, Adios, with a christmas message from my personal fourth Cabllero

#the three caballeros #donald duck #panchito pistoles #jose carioca #bahia #mexico #donsy #opus the penguin #bloom county #ducktales #aurora miranda #disney #disney plus #disney +#disney+#comissions #ride of the three cablleros

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technonish · 3 years

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